#the game goes both ways. she was hiding something so we could see without the lens of grief turning the story beats bitter.

[d1sc0rd1a]

ok this was originally in the tags but in the spirit of the post im coming out of hiding to share my view.

i was always the kid with the best hiding spot and no one could ever find me. theres a joy and a pride in it. its one of the things i liked most about myself as a kid. i really really tried to understand this post, because differing viewpoints are important to try to internalize. and to some degree i think i get it. i was/am constantly kinda lonely. i was/am constantly kinda guarded about how im perceived. i am vague. sometimes i lie. but i cant really wrap my head around most of this post. i dont truly grok it.

why do people get upset? everyone does it. thats how it works. everyone hides in both these games and in life. the fun comes in the searching. the joy comes in the accomplishment of successfully reaching out. when you pick a ridiculous spot to be found in youre setting up the punchline to a joke. whoever finds you gets to tell the story. even if someone is never found theres still a connection. Hiding and Seeking. theyre two sides of the same experience being shared. when the game is over the hider and the seeker both get to share what their part of the game was like. a bond is made. reinforced. to stop the search early is to break the bond. in a way its a rejection. it shows how little you care. i was the best seeker too, and i never got/dont get why nobody else ever tried.

sardines was fun too. its a good game, i really did like it. but i always pitied the person who found the group last. how sad to be so disconnected. to have your gameplay experience be fully isolated from the group. as soon as you successfully reach out the game is over. unless the final seeker is a pair of two or the single person is doing something ridiculous theres no punchline. the joke falls flat. there is suddenly no more story to tell. everybody was having fun without them and the fun ends when they show up. if somebody was consistently the last one to find the group of sardines it seemed almost like a sign they were the least in sync with the group. that everyone understood each other better than they did. how awful.

Goddamn. Okay

[ashwhowrites]

Hey, if you hadn't already done something like this, I was wondering if you'll write Eddie x Popular!Henderson!R, where they're sneaking around behind Dustin's back.... 1. Because Dustin looks up to him and they're friends and 2. She's not ready to let everyone know just yet (wanting to live in ignorant bliss just a little while longer before she falls under scrutiny for falling for "the freak").

And so, when one of her friends decides to hook her up on a date, she can't exactly refuse, so she goes along with it to shut her up, without letting Eddie know, of course. And during a game of dnd, Dustin let's it slip where you are for the night, unknowingly sending Eddie into a spiral, thinking she's cheating and that's why she wants to keep them a secret and after having an internal battle, he cuts the campaign short, surprising everyone, and he crashes her date, with hellfire in toe, demanding answers. And then everyone finds out and she explains blah blah and they live happily ever after. Sorry, this was long xx

This was so fun! I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Dustin's friend

When Dustin said he found a new friend, that was yet again years older than him, Y/N wasn't too pleased. First, it was Steve, and now a guy named Eddie. But when Y/N met Eddie for the first time, she couldn't care less about the age gap between him and her brother, all that mattered was that he was around her age and single.

Eddie still wasn't sure how he managed to get Dustin's hot popular sister to go out with him. Whatever he did, he thanked god for it because having Y/N on his lap with her tongue down his throat was his heaven.

"Missed you so much," Y/N whined, her hips moving against Eddie's as she yanked off his shirt.

"Fuck, I missed you too." Eddie moaned as Y/N sucked down his chest. She left her marks to travel south until she was just above his boxers.

"MOM WANTS YOU," Dustin screamed as he pounded on Y/N's locked door.

"Damn it," Eddie sighed and hung his head.

"BE RIGHT THERE," Y/N screamed back, she sighed and stood up. She handed Eddie his shirt with a sad smile. "Sorry, Eds."

"Fuckers are giving me blue balls. Are you sure we can't tell him? Maybe he'd stop interrupting as much." Eddie glared towards the door. He stood up and threw on his jeans.

"You know I'm not ready for all of that yet." Y/N sighed.

"Fine, I'll go home and finish the old-fashioned way." Eddie joked, smirking as he walked backward to her window, his eyes on her.

"Maybe I'll come over and join you, later." She winked. She kissed Eddie goodbye and waited for him to leave. Then she went to see what her mom wanted.

~~~

Y/N knew hiding her relationship with Eddie was hard and tiring. And she felt guilty every time she had to act like Eddie wasn't everything to her. But she was scared. She was scared to take away Dustin's friend, worried she overstepped. She was terrified it would ruin their friendship because of the bro code. And selfishly, she was scared of the damage it would do to her social life.

"I'm telling you, he has been begging me for a date with you. You are single and have no reason to say no." Chrissy whined.

"My reason to say no is that I don't want to," Y/N said, rolling her eyes as she slammed her locker shut.

She whined when Chrissy followed.

"Like you have anything going on tomorrow night, anyway?" Chrissy argued, her eyes taunting.

Y/N technically had nothing going on tomorrow, Dustin and Eddie had hellfire so both boys were busy.

"Stop thinking of an excuse and just go. Then if you hate it, I will never set you up again." Chrissy promised.

"Deal," Now Y/N could get Chrissy off her back.

~~~

"We are kicking ass today! I wish Y/N were here to see it." Dustin cheered. Y/N had spent more time watching Hellfire since she had to pick Dustin up anyway.

"Why isn't she?" Eddie asked, he prayed it sounded casual. He read ahead on his notes to look like he didn't care too much.

"On a date." Dustin shrugged, playing his next move. No one had the table had any idea that sentence sent Eddie into a panic. Sweat on his forehead as his leg shook beneath the table.

His girlfriend was on a date, with another guy.

It all made sense, she wanted him to be a secret because she was seeing someone. Dustin knew about the guy, and he couldn't know about Eddie. Because then her secret would be exposed. Like it just was.

"Where?" Eddie snapped, his angry tone had the table looking at him in seconds.

"Enzo's," Dustin said confused.

"Get in the van," Eddie snapped as he grabbed his keys.

~

The rest of hellfire sat confused as Eddie raced to the restaurant. He was silent but gripped the wheel until his knuckles were white. The boys followed as Eddie stormed out of the van and into the restaurant.

Eddie felt a wave of heartache flood in his chest when he saw her with him with his own eyes. She looked beautiful as she talked about something he couldn't hear.

"Why are we here? Why do you care about my sister?" Dustin asked, but Eddie already was moving.

His heavy boots hit the floor hard, and his hand slammed on the table. The couple jumped and fear showed in Y/N's eyes when Eddie leaned down to her level.

Face to face, Eddie's hard breathing smacked Y/N's face. She twiddled her thumbs nervously as she saw hellfire behind him. Her brother watching with confusion.

"Eddie, what are you doing?" She said through clenched teeth, trying to keep the conversation between them.

"Demanding why the fuck my girlfriend is on a date with another guy." Eddie snapped, his eyes dark as he glared at her. She knew he had every right to be mad, but she didn't want a scene.

She stood up, and Eddie straightened up. His eyes haven't left her, not even glancing at the stranger across from her.

"Can I please explain later? In private." She whispered, her eyes looking over Eddie's shoulder as the boys watched.

"No, I'm tired of this private shit. Explain right here, right now. Or we are done." Eddie threatened. He didn't want to break up, he wished on every star above him there was a way to make this relationship work.

"Eddie please." She whispered, her watery eyes pleading for him to back off until they could talk. "Not right now in front of everyone." Eddie tried to ignore her tears, not letting himself get sucked into her guilt trap.

"Fine, forget it. I'll see you around, Henderson." Eddie said coldly as he nodded and backed off. Y/N felt frozen in her spot as Eddie went out the door.

"Y/N?" Dustin spoke up, his hand reaching towards her.

In seconds she was running out the door.

"What is going on?" the random date asked.

"Shh man," Mike said, sliding into the booth next to him. He pointed out the window, a clear view of the couple. The boys followed, all sitting in the big booth as they stared out the window.

~

"I'm sorry! I got scared but please." Y/N cried as she tugged on Eddie's arm.

"Scared because you got caught. I can't believe you could do this to me. What about all that love bullshit? This is what you do when you love someone?" Eddie argued, hot tears in his eyes.

"I do love you! Nothing between us is bullshit. Chrissy was on my back for weeks about going on a date with this guy! I never agreed until she said If I went on it, she'd never do it again! I promise you I was just trying to get her off my back. I was going to tell her I hated it and finally have peace of just being with you."

"You know what else brings peace? Finally admitting to other people that you are in love with me," Eddie said sadly, "I'm tired of being your secret. I can't keep doing it."

Y/N sobbed as she reached forward and held his face in her hands.

"I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I'll tell Dustin and everyone. Please just give me a chance to make this up to you." Y/N begged, Eddie sniffled as he looked into her eyes.

"I love you too," he smiled, and Y/N felt relief in her bones. "You took a chance on me, so I'll take the chance on you."

Y/N smiled and leaned forward, Eddie met her halfway and smashed his lips on hers. His hands wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer.

~

"Oh my god!" The boys all said at once, the random date was long gone.

"Eddie and my sister?"

"Dude! Eddie is banging your sister!" Mike teased

"Is he touching her ass?" Lucas gasped as he moved closer to the window

"Oh, that is so much tongue." Gareth chuckled.

"Our boy is making out with a popular girl!" Jeff cheered, high fives all around the table, except for Dustin who sat in a state of shock.

~

"YOU ARE SCREWING MY SISTER?"

Eddie and Y/N jumped as Dustin screamed.

"DUSTIN!" Y/N screamed as Dustin ran straight into Eddie and took him to the ground.

Tags!

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[portraitsofguilt]

✮ ┆ MAKING OUT WITH... valeria garza

— “could never get sick of the taste of your lips.”

content warnings.           MDNI, nsfw content, female-bodied reader, touching/petting, nickname use, kissing, making out, interrupted making out

author's note.                   don’t you wanna make out with valeria? i wanna, i wanna make out with her so bad so have this :)))

"it's been a while since we spent some time alone." valeria says casually as she walks around the table, sitting next to you, on the other end of the pool table. you chuckle at her statement, watching as she picks her glass of whiskey up from the table that is separating the two of you, and hides her face behind it.

"your turn." she motions with the glass before taking a small sip from it. you nod your head in reply, taking a sip from your drink and picking up the pool cue up. she watches in silence as you place both of your hands above the table, leaning forward towards the table as much as you can. "my turn to win." you say when you glance up at her for just a moment, giving her a cheeky smile with a wink. her eyes follow your movement as you move to your right side to rest your elbow on top of the table.

the night has been cold, on the conversation part at least because the weather is never really cold in Las Almas. still, it wasn't something valeria or you were unfamiliar with. she goes away on her risky travels, says her goodbye, and the guessing game begins for the next few weeks or months if you're unlucky.

valeria's world becomes silent for a second, watching as you cheer yourself on because you won your first game in two years. your eyes are bright, shining like stars even if they're hidden behind the shadows of the dimly lit room as well as your eyelashes. she knows what's going on, she knows that you love the feeling of winning games against her, even if she might have let you.

"mi amada, it's late." she tells you once she stands up from her chair, setting down her glass. you only give her an assuring smile as go around to gather the balls from the nets they fell into.

you turn around for just a few seconds to reset the balls that you had in your hands, placing them all neatly inside. you look over your shoulder to see where valeria is. you take a quick, sharp breath in when she is standing right behind you before trapping you against the table.

"i'm sorry mi amada," she whispers softly in your ear as she wraps her arms around your waist and pulls you closer, her lips barely grazing against your skin," but i missed this." with one swift motion, valeria turns you around, securing you against her body and without warning she kisses you. she presses her entire weight onto you, holding you tightly with one arm while resting the other high up on your side, her thumb running and pushing under your breast. you wrap your arms around her neck, pulling her impossibly closer as you deepen the kiss.

your fingers curl into her hair and run through it gently, enjoying the way she sighs against your lips. you pull away for air after a couple of minutes, looking deep into each other's eyes for a brief moment. she lets out a soft laugh that echoes in the quiet atmosphere of the game room.  "that was...nice." you admit, your cheeks hot from the intense kiss. valeria smiles widely as she trails her nose along your jawline for a short moment before she nibbles on your neck, biting and sucking lightly until you gasp loudly, your hand gripping the back of her hair tighter than before.

a soft moan leaves your mouth as she bites down harder, making a few marks that brand your skin as hers. you can feel her smirk against the skin beneath her teeth, but she eventually moves to your lips again.  you let out another whimper as she takes the opportunity to slip her tongue between your lips. she runs it over your bottom lip before sliding her tongue in past yours slowly, making sure not to make any contact with your teeth or the roof of your mouth. you open your mouth slightly as you reciprocate by pressing your tongue against hers and letting her explore your mouth slowly. 

she pulls away, a thin string of saliva connecting the two of you for just a second before it drops and sticks to her and your shirt. "i missed doing this." valeria admits quietly as she kisses you again. you hum in response as she nibbles and sucks on your ear lobe, her hand traveling underneath your shirt.  it makes you shiver when she runs her fingers over your stomach, tracing little circles across your skin. you don't know how long you stay like that until you hear someone clear their throat behind you.

your lips instantly fall apart as you snap your gaze towards whoever interrupted the two of you, your cheeks hot from embarrassment and anger.

"el sin nombre..." the masked man clears his throat again, his voice a little shaky before continuing. "you're needed downstairs."

valeria lets out an annoyed sigh as she looks over her shoulder, "give us a minute." valeria says, her tone serious enough that he doesn't bother arguing.

"this won't take long, i promise." she mutters, turning back towards you. her hand slides off your waist and into yours. you intertwine your fingers together and squeeze hers reassuringly,  earning you a slight grin from valeria.

you let out a deep breath, knowing exactly what was going on here. "we'll finish this later, okay?" valeria tells you. you nod your head in reply, a faint smile gracing your lips before you lean back over the table and watch as she walks down the hall to the elevator.

[syndrossi]

Do you remember ages and ages ago when we were discussing the idea of the mountain clansmen from the Vale coming down and accidentally falling in love with Jon because Jon + wildings, you know? I was just thinking about how Jon might manage to interact with some Vale mountain clansmen in Reverberate AU or Regnal AU when he and Rhaegar could ostensibly spend parts of their childhood in the Vale with Daemon and Rhea both. Maybe he gets in a huff and goes out on his own, leaving Rhaegar/Daemon/Rhea at Runestone, and gets lost and/or hurt and then picked up by a clansman. It's probably more likely if Daemon isn't at Runestone at the time... considering Caraxes' sniffing abilities, lmao. I could see Daemon or Rhea and the Runestone knights finally finding him only to discover he's gotten himself into mischief, like... the clan that found him has elected him their new leader, or he's accidentally gone and gotten himself married without knowing how. 😂

Meanwhile the angst of Rhaegar and the family when they realize they let Jon run off in an angry huff after a fight or disagreement and he's BEEN KIDNAPPED BY MOUNTAIN CLANSMEN. The ultimate enemy of the Vale! Oh no! Any thoughts?

We might need a way to take Qelebrys (and Shadow) out of the picture too, because if you think Caraxes's sniffing skills are impressive, Qelebrys and Shadow are uncanny at finding one another and their riders. (They don't have infinite detection distance by any means, of course, but you'd need quite a lot of separation.)

Perhaps a hunt in the Vale of Arryn gone awry while Daemon is called away to business in King's Landing and the boys want to do something with Rhea? The dragons are left at home, because they'll scare the prey and are jealous of the boys' falcons. Or it could be a hunt hosted by Lady Jeyne, where it's DEFINITELY expected that the dragons aren't coming along.

What age were you thinking them being in this scenario? Obviously it's scarier (and potentially funnier) if they're 8-10ish, though I wish Jon good luck going off in a huff with Ser Willam ready to sit on him if necessary. I feel like Allard would be along so that Daemon could go I TOLD YOU SO after all these years, even though he's innocent and just trying to aid in the search.

There are likely other young boys along if it's a bigger hunt, so it could be a game of chase (or hide) gone awry, where eventually someone (Rhaegar) notices that Jon's nowhere to be seen. Then there's the angst of "how could I let him out of my sight?" and "why did I suggest playing the game?"

(If they're older, it could be a horse race or something more adolescent/teen-driven.)

And now you've got Runestone a two week trip on horseback away, meaning they can't go get Qelebrys and Shadow without abandoning the search for that long, so an urgent raven is dispatched to KL. For the 4-5 days before Caraxes gets there, though, there's all manner of trouble Jon can get himself into...

(Poor Rhea, half convinced her baby boy is dead given the cruel savagery of the mountain clansmen, but trying not to make her fears obvious for Rhaegar's sake which of course fails because that boy is stupidly tuned to anyone's emotions but especially a mother's. So now she has to wrangle Rhaegar to keep him out of harm's way seeking Jon because she can't lose them both.)

[nightviator]

OK so hear me out. I'm going to tell you how I think they could make the subway scenes without making lila and Five a thing, and also having a really good character arc and making them show trauma signs. It's a bit long.

Like five would be as traumatised as he deserved to be from last apocalypse, having flashbacks and etc. Lila would see what he experienced to end up as the assassin he was and would think about her parents and the way she wanted to kill him because of her family but ended up being ungrateful for having one. And they could have great character arcs.

Lila and Five go to that subway. Five sees that thay lost the way to go back home and is really frustrated. Actually he is using that anger to hide the fact that he is scared. Traumatised. Because he has seen it all before.

He was there before. Lost, without power to help his family. He is scared. That time he had handler and there is now no thing such that. What if he has to wait another 45 years to go back to his family? Does he even has that mental capability? What if he dies before getting the chance?

He really is scared. Scared because all of the thoughts he had in that past apocalypse are coming back to him. But this time it really was his fault. He can't tell that he is a kid just saying no to his father (not that he could use it to convince himself before, the guilt was too much). He can't say he had no idea of what time travel can make. He had promised himself to never do such a stupid thing ever again and he did it. This time he abandoned his family when he knew they were in a bad state.

So he is scared and angry at himself and at lila and everything and ptsd and stuff and stuff and. Lila sees it. Lila can see what made the murder of her parents, the murder of her parents. She can see how traumatised he really was. And she wants to help. She was responsible in this because she wanted to be more than just a wife and mom and she kinda made him to come here.

But as the time passes five is in a way worse situation. He is loosing it. Also the one who wants to help him is the daughter of handler. Five is so paranoid. What if it was all a plan? What if he never really ran away from the first apocalypse and is still working for commission? What if this is mind games of handler? And if not, what says that Lila can't be another handler? The ones that find you when you're at your worst and try to act like they want to help.

So here we have paranoid Five and Lila who wants to help and understands how truly traumatised he is. She is also scared that Five may run away when she is sleep because he can't trust her now,and because of that she has to always keep an eye on him.

This makes him even more sure that something is up with Lila. And when they go to that very first apocalypse, he goes to his young self without paying attention to gun to make sure that its not all just memories made by handler and he is truly seeing this and the things he experienced after season 1 were real. He is gets shot and lila is the one who saves him.

She is like:"you fucking idiot!!! What are you doing?! You literally were the murder of my parents and now you're acting all crazy and are about to get both of us killed?!"

And he looks at her, yelling that he NEVER wanted those to happen, and just for the first time cries because he thinks all of the things he has done was because of handler but also thinks he is making those up to feel less guilty of being a murder for such a long time and also coming to this subway but at the same time he is paranoid and etc etc.

Lila sees how much guilt he had and also feels bad because does she really miss her family? If yes, why wasn't she more grateful this time? Why did she ran away from them then?

And she sighs, tries to stop nagging at such a situation and adds a mental note to make him go to therapy once they are out. If they are out. So he is all tired, and she goes to help him with that wound, and he just stares at her, disgusted and shocked and saying that don't you DARE to touch me.

Lila is so confused buy apparently this made Five really believe that Lila is just like handler and is trying to use him and make him feel like he needs her just to get closer to him. Is he going to let someone else touch him? Even go near him? Absolutely not. No. No way.

So he runs away, and she barely makes it to not miss the subway by using his powers. Five is there, bleeding but still refusing help. He is about to die, and then she won't be able to copy anything and will probably stuck here forever, and she is the one who made this happen. Such a selfish person she is, thinking about herself in this moment when five is DYING, she thinks.

And when they are both at the last level of disappointment, the subway finally stops in were they wanted. Home. Their home.

It's been such a long time, 7 years.

Lila jist picks Five, running out. Five survives and Lila has a emotional hug with Diego (who wanted to fix everything) and her children and they sob and they talk and they really fix problems.

And then one of the siblings makes a comment on Five, saying how stupidly he trapped himself in a thing related to time again as if he is addicted.

Lila is about to just rush and kill that person. She yells that none of them never really cared about how traumatised he was and she realises she was like that too.

Anyways, Five wakes up and siblings are ready for emotional support and things go back to normal or at least a bit good. And him and lila have such a iconic friendship.

Also Diego tries to be the good brother that he told that Five was. Because Five deserves good brother too.

Also, you want romance? Throw a scene when he finds Delores or human Delores there and wants her so badly but Lila has to stop him because they should go and Five just hates this because he thinks she is just using his love for his wife like handler. (Got the human Delores idea from another tumblr post that I can't find now.)

TADA!!!

BETTER PLOT!!!

....damn I wrote a LOT. I may make it a fanfic-

So... yeah. Love to know your thoughts too, because we are all so angry.

[crazyunsexycool]

Heart’s Munition

Chapter 2

Pairing: mob boss!Steve Rogers x maid single mom!Reader

Word count: 3.3k

Warning: sick child but nothing descriptive, implied death of a child, Peter Parker being a sweetheart, argument

Series masterlist

Peter Parker has had to do a lot of shady things to get in his boss’ good graces. He was young and had a lot to prove. Still he wasn’t a fan of what his boss had just asked him to do because he liked you. You were both close in age although he had just turned twenty-one and you were older by four years. There was always this protective instinct that you had when it came to him, it was almost motherly. It was something he has always wanted but never had. He did have his aunt May especially after his parents abandoned him and his uncle died. It was no secret Peter loved her to death but because it was only the two of them she often had to work two jobs just to make ends meet. So he was left up to his own devices most of the time. Without much supervision he had a tendency to take a lot of walks whenever he wasn’t in a lab at school.

On one of those walks he ran into something he should have never seen. A deal gone wrong between Clint and some cops that ended badly for the former. Without much thought Peter sprung into action to help Clint get medical attention but it put a target on his back with the crooked cops. If Steve hadn’t brought him in he’d be dead. But he wanted more than to be a low level runner.

Peter wanted to be part of Steve’s inner circle. He was working his way up rather quickly for the short amount of time that he’d been with the group. It was because he was willing to do what it takes to get results but something about this request wasn’t sitting right with him. Peter knew he couldn’t say no though so he found your address and started to get ready for the job. Hopefully he wouldn’t find anything that would jeopardize your well-being.

It was another good day for Elijah and there was nothing that could make you happier. First you enjoyed sleeping in a bit and then both of you dressed and headed out in order to enjoy the day. The sun was shining and there was a nice breeze. You started at the park although Eli didn’t have that much energy to play with the other kids he did love sitting on the swings.

His feet were straight ahead as he threw his head back to look at you upside down. You were gifted with your favorite smile when you pushed him higher. It didn’t take long for some pervy dad to put his kid on a swing and openly check you out. Elijah noticed first and promptly asked to stop and go elsewhere.

Eli begged to go to a video games store and it was a surprise to no one that you caved. It was there that you sensed it first. Someone’s eyes were on you. As discreetly as you could you looked around trying to figure out if you were making it up or not. It took a few turns through the displays to see who you think is Peter trying to hide in plain sight.

“Eli,” you got your son’s attention. “I need you to stay right here ok. I just saw a friend and I want to say hi.”

“Ma, I thought you didn’t have friends.”

“Really? Why must you hurt me like that?”

He laughs and goes back to playing the demo on some system you couldn’t afford. You sneak around one display and then another until you can clearly see that it is Peter. His eyes are now darting around the store trying to find you. They widen and he goes red in the face when he sees you approach.

“I hope you’re here to buy a game and not because you’re spying on me.” You tell him.

“I uh- I’m n-not, promise.”

“So why were you hiding?”

“Ok ok, maybe the boss asked me to see if you were ok.” He turns his head to look back at Eli and swallows thickly.

“Steve did?”

“Yeah, he said you were in some kind of trouble and he wanted to know what it was.”

Elijah jogs over to you and holds up a game.

“Can we get this, ma?”

“Ma? He’s your kid?” Peter asks incredulously.

“Yeah, who else’s kid would it be?”

“I thought maybe you babysat on the weekends.”

“So ma can we?” He looks at you with pleading eyes and it breaks your heart.

“My love we can’t. That old system you have won’t work with this game. Please go put it back.”

“Fine.” He says with a pout and guilt settles heavily on your chest.

You look back at Peter who is still standing there shocked as if you’d told him he was the father.

“You’re a mom.”

“For eight years now.”

“Is it just the two of you?”

You nod. “But anyways, what is this about Steve having you follow me?”

“He thinks you’re in some sort of trouble and I was supposed to figure out what it was so that I can report back to him.”

“Peter,” you grab his forearm and turn to look at him more directly and with a worried expression. “You can’t tell him I have a kid. I don’t want anyone to know unless absolutely necessary. Promise me you won’t tell him please.”

“Wait, is someone threatening your son? Is that why no one can know?”

“No. It’s just I don’t want anyone to be able to use him against me. I know what you all do. I'm not stupid. What if someone that hates Steve threatened my son in order to get information on him? Am I supposed to protect Steve over my son?”

“No, I get it. I won’t say anything but he’ll expect a report anyway. I can’t just lie to him either.”

“Don’t lie, give him a half truth. You saw me at a park and then I went shopping. Which I did.” You say as you look back to check on Eli. Peter follows your gaze and smiles.

“He’s a lucky kid having a mom like you.”

“Peter-“ your eyes lit up as you heard the compliment.

“I’ll leave you two alone and I won’t tell anyone. But if you need anything I’m here for you ok?”

“Thanks, Coulson and Dom know. If it makes you feel better.”

He nods and gives you a small smile before disappearing among the crowd. Elijah walks back over to you a little disappointed, which makes you feel extremely guilty about not being able to get him what he wants. With an arm over his shoulder the two of you walk out and try to enjoy the rest of the day.

While Sunday had started out as another good day for Elijah, the good luck had to end at some point. Mrs. Fields watched Elijah for an hour or two while you ran some errands and by the early evening he was feeling sick again.

You sat next to him on the couch, pressing a cool towel on his forehead. He groans and whimpers while he sleeps. There isn’t much for you to do except wait for the medicine to work, hopefully. Mrs. Fields walks back in with a few bags in hand and an unsure expression on her face.

“Y/N do you know someone named Peter?”

“Yeah, why?”

“He’s downstairs and he said he tried to call you but you weren’t answering. He wanted to come up to drop something off for Eli.”

You pull your phone out and see a few texts and a missed call from Peter. “Could you let him up?” She smiles and nods, hitting the buzzer by the front door and heading to the kitchen.

At the knock on the door Mrs. Fields opens the door for Peter. He takes a tentative step into your small apartment. His smile falters when he takes in the scene before him.

“Is everything ok, Peter?” You ask when you look up at him.

“I think I should be asking you that.”

“It will be. What’s going on?”

“I just wanted to drop something off… for Elijah, from uncle Peter.” He gives you a boyish smile.

You narrow your eyes but he’s already turning away and heading to the door. He walks back in with two bags and a box. When you get a better view You’re immediately ready to argue that you couldn’t accept anything from him.

“Please let me just give them to him as a gift.”

“A PS5 and a Tv? Peter, have you lost your mind? I can’t accept that at all.”

“Y/N, I’ve already set it up for him all I have to do is plug everything in and the tv isn’t even that big. I’m not going to take no for an answer so where should I put it?”

“The door at the end of the hall.” Mrs. Fields says from behind Peter.

“Thank you ma’am.”

Without giving you room to protest Peter heads in the direction of Elijah’s room with you following. He sets the PS5 on the bed and the tv box on the floor and looks around for where to best place it. His eyes land on the large number of prescription bottles on the bedside table and then he looks back at you.

“The doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong. He has his good days and his bad ones. I always worry he’ll never get better.” You explain, unable to express how afraid you are that one day you’ll wake up but he won’t.

“Today is a bad day.”

You nod and he turns to get the tv out. In a few minutes he’s already set up the tv on the dresser and the PS5 is connected and running.

“I’ve got him all of the accessories he’ll need, including an extra controller. I thought if maybe it was ok with you I could come over once in a while and hang out with him.”

You repress the tears that sting your eyes and nod. “I think he’d like that.”

“Cool. I also connected all the streaming apps so that he can watch whatever he wants if he doesn’t feel like playing and I added a gift card so he can get add-ons for the games.”

“Peter, I don’t know what to say. This is so kind of you. Thank you so much I know once he feels better he’s going to love it.”

“It’s no problem. I meant what I said yesterday, if you need anything at all you just let me know. I know what it’s like to grow up with only one parent.”

You sniffled and hugged Peter.

“I’m going to get out of your hair but let me know the minute he feels better and we’ll play a few games together.”

“I will, thank you again.” You say as you walk him out to the door.

“He’s cute. Where do you know him from?”

“Work, he’s just a friend.”

“You don’t have friends ma.” Eli speaks up for the first time in the last few hours.

“You’re a little shit you know that.” He smiles weakly at you. “Do you want to see what Peter brought you?”

He nods and you pick him up and head to his room. He gets as excited as he can considering his weakened state. Mrs. Fields excuses herself and you make yourself comfortable in bed with Eli. It takes you a second to get used to the controller but you manage to put on a movie, allowing Eli to cuddle into your side.

Monday morning was not great for you. You’d barely slept as you watched over your son and now you were late to work. Add to the situation the fact that you had to talk to Steve about the bullshit he pulled by having Peter follow you.

“Mia Cara, I was starting to worry.” Dom said once he saw you.

“It wasn’t a good night and I’m running on fumes.”

“Is he any better today?” Dom whispers the question.

“A little, although if he doesn’t get better we’ll have to go to the hospital.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that Cara.” He moves around the kitchen quickly and sets a plate of food and coffee in front of you. “Take a few minutes and eat up.”

“Thanks, I’m gonna need it.”

You eat quickly and decide to deal with Steve first. The door to his study opens abruptly and Peter is standing there, he gives you a small nod and a tight lipped smile. He already knows you were going to talk to Steve about it so he just moves out of the way to let you in and closes the door behind him.

“Good morning Y/N, how are you?” Bucky says in way too good of a mood.

Steve looks up at you curiously. The look on your face lets him, Bucky and Sam know that you aren’t in the mood for small talk.

“Is everything ok?” Steve asks.

“No, everything is not ok. Can you tell me why you had Peter following me over the weekend?”

Steve drops the pen he’d been using and sits back in his chair. You cross your arms over your chest and glare at him as you wait for an answer.

“I like to make sure all of my employees are well taken care of. I was under the impression that you were facing a problem and I want to know what it is so that I can help.”

“And you couldn’t have just asked me?”

“Would you have told me?”

“No because it’s none of your fucking business.” You spat back at him.

“We’ll give you two some privacy.”

Sam nodded to the door, he and Bucky left you alone with Steve. He immediately got up and sat at the edge of his desk.

“Whatever it is, you know I can help, so what's going on?”

“You know how you can help, by minding your own business and staying out of mine.”

“Why are you being so defensive? I just want to make sure that you have what you need. Why can’t you just accept my help?” Steve’s voice was getting louder with every word and he was standing up straighter with his shoulders squared. You were infuriating and he wasn’t sure why he put up with you.

“So that you can use it as a way to force me to sleep with you? If I wanted your help I would have asked for it, did you ever think of that?”

Steve pinned you to your spot with a hardened stare. That was the man so many feared and it sent a shiver down your spine.

“You know nothing about me. I don’t need to force anyone to sleep with me. But you don’t have to worry about that, you’ll have to beg me before I touch you. In regards to your problem, I’ll back off but if you need the money I’m sure Coulson can find you extra work.”

You scoff. “That’s your problem, you think everything can be solved with money or your influence.”

“Boss, we have a name-“

The door swung open and the tension between you and Steve popped like a bubble. You took a step back realizing for the first time how close you had been.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know you were busy. I can come back.”

“Don’t worry Yelena. Ms. Y/L/N was just leaving.” He turns back to sit behind his desk and doesn’t look at you again.

You give Yelena a smile that doesn't reach your eyes and close the door on your way out. In the kitchen Bucky, Sam and Dom are all talking in hushed tones and the conversation stops completely when Sam sees you walk in.

“Is everything ok Mia Cara?” Dom asks and you just shake your head.

“I would quit if I didn’t need the money. I mean who the fuck does he think he is? He’s just a big stupid manwhore that thinks he owns everyone.”

They watch you pace back and forth in the kitchen as you ramble. Bucky hides a smile behind his hand while Sam and Dom exchange amused glances.

“What happened? Is there anything we can do to help?”

“He had Peter follow me over the weekend. What kind of invasion of privacy is that?” You stop and turn to look at the men. “Then he has the nerve to say that he only wants to help me. Well I didn’t ask for his help or anyone else’s help for that matter.”

Dom nods in understanding, it has nothing to do with you and everything with protecting Elijah. Sam and Bucky however look confused.

“Are you in trouble, doll?”

“What is it with you all thinking I’m in trouble?”

“I know you don’t want to hear this but Steve wouldn’t have done that unless he had a reason to do it. He does genuinely care about people.” Sam adds.

A disbelieving laugh escapes you.

“Yeah he sells drugs and guns and who knows what else because he cares about people.”

Bucky is grinning at you now and you relax a bit and smile back. “This is why I like you.” He says.

You hum in agreement as you pull your phone out of your back pocket. The smile you just had disappears completely at the text that Eli has gotten worse.

“I have to go, please tell Coulson.” You say over your shoulder but it was mostly directed at Dom.

“Is everything ok with her?” Sam asks the older man.

“That’s up to her to share.”

“So Steve was right to worry.”

“Buck, let it go. Don’t push her please.”

“Alright.” Bucky held his hands up defensively. “We have to get back to work anyway.” He announced and left to meet up with Steve.

***

Steve was still in a mood after speaking with Yelena about the current issues he was having with his men being attacked. It had nothing to do with that issue and everything to do with you.

“Get Y/N in here I need to talk to her.” He said to no one specifically.

“She’s gone Steve.”

The statement made Steve’s stomach drop. It must have been obvious in his face because Sam had to clear up what Bucky meant.

“She had some sort of emergency at home I think. She just left for the day.”

“Fine.” He nods once. “That’s everything for now. Let me know what Clint and Nat have finished up with their plan.” Sam and Bucky gave small oks and left him alone with his thoughts.

Steve was still trying to figure out what you were so afraid of. Now with the news that you had to leave due to an emergency he was even more curious.

His cell rings and he grabs it from where it was laying on the desk. Looking at the number he sighs.

“What do you want, Hansen?” His voice teetered between ice cold and angry.

“Well shit, that’s how you’re going to greet an old colleague?”

“I don’t have time for your bullshit. What do you want?”

“I possibly have a lead on the elusive leader of the black order, thought you might be interested.”

“How much is the information going to cost?” Although Steve didn’t want to work with Hansen, he needed the information.

“Why don’t I stop by in a few days? We can catch up.”

“Fine.” Steve said and hung up before he heard a reply.

Steve would have to put his thoughts of you on the back burner. He didn’t like Lloyd Hansen but if he had information on the black order he needed to know.

The sooner he got rid of the threat the sooner he could get back to normal. He would push his thoughts of you aside and focus on his business deals. Putting someone else first almost cost him everything once, he won’t allow you to be his downfall this time around.

Ch. 3

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[fruitcoops]

So I just reread the fic about Jules birthday, and I’ve always liked the part where Remus tells Jules that he’ll always be more important than hockey. Could you write a fic about that if you haven’t already? Like Remus leaving in the middle of practice or something like that? Idk it’s up to u:)

Fic O'Ween Day 3: Midnight! Read more amazing works from these prompts at @noots-fic-fests and of course, character credit goes to @lumosinlove <3

TW illness (coughing, mentioned vomiting, fatigue)

Remus leaned against the countertop for support and stared at the floor. “But he’s okay, right?”

“He’s okay,” his mother answered. She sounded beyond exhausted.

Remus nodded and rubbed his fingers under his eye. The night suddenly seemed so much darker. “How’re you and dad? Taking time off?”

“We’re alright.” He knew that low edge to her voice—it was the same one his own took on when he was trying to hide his hurt. Silence fell over the line.

“Mom.”

“Your dad can’t get PTO this week and neither can I.”

She cleared her throat; he closed his eyes. “Can Leanne keep an eye on him?”

“Visiting her daughter in Florida.”

No parents, no neighbors, no way they’re getting a babysitter for a sick kid… “I’ll be on the next flight.”

“Remus, no.”

“There’s nobody else—”

“Honey.” He could see the way her eyebrows drew together in his mind. “Honey, you’re on the road this week.”

“I know.”

“In Montreal.”

“They can handle a couple games without me.”

“You’re practically a rookie, Remus,” his mother insisted. After a pause, she lowered her voice. “You’re not going to damage your career when we can get a babysitter, or—or I can find a couple days off. Hell, your dad’s got a pullout at the office he can rest on.”

“I’ll be there tomorrow afternoon, okay?”

“Remus John, you have a responsibility to your team.”

“Jules comes first.” If there was one thing Remus would stand by no matter the circumstances, it was his family. The Lions would survive a roadie without him. Jules would never be alone and sick on his watch.

His mother was silent for a long time.

Remus picked at a chip in the granite. “There’s no babysitter that will watch him, is there?”

A sigh traveled down the line. “I guess we’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too, baby. Give Sirius my best. Sleep well.”

“I will,” he lied. The call went dead and he turned, bracing both hands against cool stone. Sirius’ footsteps were soft, his hand gentle. Remus sniffled. His chest was a vise. “Mom says hi.”

Slow circles pressed between his shoulder blades. “What happened?”

“Jules got the flu, and they can’t get time off work to stay home with him.” Fucking assholes in fucking corporate. Remus swallowed around the clog in his throat. “Sounds like he’s pretty sick.”

“Does he need to go to the hospital?”

Remus shook his head. The hand on his back slid down and wrapped around his side, guiding him to lean on Sirius’ chest. “Do you want me to book your flight while you call Coach?”

“Yeah.” His voice was rough. He didn’t let go. “God, I hate being so far away.”

Sirius’ other arm came around him and held him tight.

--

Remus and his father talked the whole ride home from the airport, and said nothing at all.

The house was just as he left it at Christmas. No snow remained, and little frost—crocuses peeked out of the lawn where the squirrels had snatched and buried them.

Apologies for the late notice, but due to a family emergency, I will be in Wisconsin until the 22nd. Thank you for your understanding.

Rapid responses. Cranky responses. Remus had tried to keep a level head, even through the tremor of his hands on the computer keyboard. The organization wasn’t happy with him, but when were they ever?

It didn’t matter either way. Fine or not, suspension or not, they weren’t going to stop him from making chicken soup and raspberry Emergen-C for his sick little brother. He was damn lucky to have Arthur on his side, easing the retribution from men in offices who had hardly bothered to meet him at the start of the season.

“Your mother’s worried.”

Remus glanced up from his hands. His father was facing forward, brow pinched while he pulled into the driveway. “Yeah.”

The engine turned off with a sputter. “Be gentle, okay?”

“It’s not your fault they wouldn’t give you time—”

“Be gentle.”

Remus bit the inside of his lip and nodded. A goldfish cracker peered out at him from the crevice by the door. This passenger seat always made him feel so small. He slung his backpack out of the seat well and stepped out, letting the crisp air nip his face and bring him back. He needed to come back more. The heartache had lessened, and distance was simply exhausting now. Running fast and far to Gryffindor had seemed so smart before.

The front door still squeaked when he turned the doorknob. Remus was glad for that, at least.

His mother smiled when she saw him. “Hi, baby, how was your flight?”

“Hey, mom.” It was good, he started to say, only to have the words fall from his mind the moment she stepped around the kitchen table and wrapped him in her arms. It’s been a lot I love you I missed you how are you where’s Jules—“Uneventful, thankfully.”

“Good, that’s just the way you want it.” She gave a little sway, one hand cradling the back of his neck. He felt a light pulse of pressure. Her back, ever tense, relaxed slightly. “It’s so good to have you home.”

Remus breathed deep. Lemon-scented cleaning spray and drugstore shampoo, laundry detergent and just-sharpened pencils. He pressed his nose tighter to her shoulder and felt her squeeze him, just a little. “Missed you.”

“Oh, Re,” she sighed. A hand rubbed along his spine for a few hard, grounding, wonderful seconds. Warmth seeped in around his edges. The floor was solid beneath him, the walls sturdy. A kiss found his temple. “Baby, we missed you, too.”

A rattling cough made him wince. “Jeez.”

“I know.” Her face crinkled into a grimace when they separated and she looked back down the hall. “That started up two days ago. Poor thing. Keeps him up at night.”

“Aw.” The cough was followed by a rough throat-clear that made Remus frown. “Fever and everything?”

“102, as of this morning.” Hope ran a palm over his shoulder, the way she tended to right after he came home. Remus tried not to think about that too hard, or else he made himself sad. “You’re sure about this? You could get sick. It’s the middle of the season.”

Remus tried for an encouraging smile. “My immune system’s great, mom. I’m in good shape, I take my multivitamins. Eat my Wheaties, and all that.”

“Hmm.” She scrutinized him for a beat. “You better be.”

“I’m basically indestructible.”

Her laugh bounced off the corners of the house like it always had. “Let’s not get hasty, hon.”

“Mom?”

Remus’ heart sank.

“Dad?” Jules croaked, a little louder. “Did the neighbors come over?”

“Hey, J,” Remus called. The floorboards gave a light groan when he set his bag down at the end of the hall. “It’s me, bud.”

Silence followed. The bathroom nightlight was on, casting the hall in gentle blue. His hand drifted toward the first door on reflex (cool metal knob, lock on the inside, jimmy it three times in the winter when the frame sticks), but he managed to step past it and knock lightly below the ‘J LUPIN. DO NOT ENTER.’ sign scotch-taped to the old wood.

“Jules? I’m opening the door.”

The first thing that hit him was the smell. Stale, sweaty, feverish—Remus did a double-take without meaning to.

“Jesus Christ, dude.”

“Oh, you weren’t kidding,” Jules rasped from somewhere to his right. “Hey. Hi, why are you here?”

“You slept too long. It’s June. I’m here for the summer.”

“Hey.”

“You’re sick, dummy.” Remus tried to be subtle about propping the door open wider with a loose hockey glove. “I’m taking care of you.”

With the new, faint light from the hallway, he could see just how terrible Julian looked. His unconvinced squint didn’t help the sallowness of his skin or the heavy bags carved under his eyes. “Nuh-uh.”

“Yuh-huh.”

“Nuh-uh, you have a roadie in—” Another hacking cough interrupted him. It shook his tiny frame hard enough to make his knees bend under the covers. Remus’ heart gave an acid lurch.

Agitated heat radiated off him to the point that Remus could feel it when he perched on the edge of the bed. The sheets were a tangled mess; one blanket half-tucked, the other mostly on the floor. “Deep breaths,” he soothed when the coughing turned to a few aggressive sniffles. “Take it easy.”

“Montreal,” Jules finished in a mutter. He wiped his nose on the edge of his baggy t-shirt (almost certainly their father’s, with the way it dwarfed him) and laid back with a long huff. “You got a roadie in Montreal. Dad ‘n me are gonna watch the game.”

“Dad and I.”

“Shhh.”

He smiled to himself and tugged the top blanket down to shimmy the next one into position. “Well, you and I can watch it. How’s that sound?”

“No, you need to play,” Jules groaned, but even that was weak. He curled onto his side and peeked out of his huddle, dull-eyed and flushed. “How come you’re here anyway?”

“Told you. I’m taking care of you.”

“But hockey.”

“But you.”

“But…hockey.”

“But you.” His stomach gave a little pull. “You’re more important than a couple games, bud.”

Jules didn’t look like he believed him. “…okay.”

“I’m serious.”

“No, you’re R—”

“Don’t you—” Remus bit back his words (and his grin) and whacked lightly at the outline of Jules’ legs under the blankets, coaxing a crunchy sort of laugh from him. “Watch it. I’m in charge of feeding you for the next few days.”

Jules’ giggling trickled out with a last sniff. “Mom and Dad gotta go to work, huh?”

“Yeah.” The wrinkle of his nose was almost certainly reflected on Remus’ face. “But hey, we’ll have fun.”

“Mmm.”

The air shifted, along with his gut. Jules’ breaths were heavier. His eyes, lidded. His forehead was far too hot against the back of Remus’ hand when he checked it. “Tired?”

“Mhmm.”

Wrapping him in a dozen blankets and cuddling him as tight as possible wouldn’t help. Logically, Remus knew that. The temptation was still there. “Too hot?”

“Warm.”

“Want me to take a blanket?”

Jules shook his head. His eyes were closed fully now. “Weight’s nice.”

Every inhale hitched when Remus rested a hand between his shoulder blades, feeling for his pulse. That, at least, was calm. Jules had sweated through the old grey fabric there. He combed a few strands of hair off his burning brow and swallowed around his dry throat. “Want me to leave you alone for a bit?”

“Gonna nap.” Jules’ twitched, as if he was trying to readjust but lacked the energy. “Here when I wake up?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be here.”

--

The evening passed without issue. Night rolled in with a gust of wind that hissed across the windowpanes while Remus dried the last of the dishes. Jules had managed to get up and come to the table for dinner, but he had looked even worse in the brighter light and barely ate half a bowl of soup. He could see their mother struggling not to fuss over him, not that Jules had any oomph to give real protest.

What kind of family emergency is this, Lupin?

A family emergency. I can come back the 22nd.

You’re missing two games. Do you understand that? Weasley won’t play you for the third, either.

I understand.

Is this a funeral?

No.

A wedding?

No.

It’s a request for nonvital time off, then. This could very well result in a fine.

I’m aware of that. Time off for a family emergency is covered in my contract. I’m permitted to miss four games.

Are you really going to put in a request for this? For a nonvital midweek trip instead of two NHL games?

That’s precisely what I’m requesting, yes. This is an emergency and therefore it is vital.

Remus had not missed the bureaucracy of the NHL during his time on the ice. There was still administrative irritation, of course, but it had not been nearly long enough since he played email tag with someone determined to make his life harder. ‘Nonvital emergency’. It made him want to laugh and lose it at the same time. What a fucking joke.

A sudden rustle and thud—likely Jules’ elbow hitting the wall between their rooms, ouch—startled him from half-sleep. Clumsy footsteps pattered on the floor; a door creaked and closed, quickly followed by a dry heave. Remus winced in sympathy.

This bedroom felt too small. His feet touched the end of the bed if he stretched out. There were only a few inches’ allowance for his shoulders on either side before he hit a wall or the edge of the mattress. Even his stuff felt smaller, as if the books shrank in his hands and the trophies had been made for someone Jules’ size.

He supposed they had been. Juniors was a world away, these days. He had turned the idea of keeping a potential you-know-what ring here instead of in Gryffindor, but never really committed one way or another. That, too, felt far off. He was stuck in the middle of a spectrum, where nothing felt quite right.

The toilet flushed, but he didn’t hear Jules leave. The low timbre of their father’s voice buzzed in the hall for a second; he didn’t catch Jules’ response. Remus swung his legs over the side of the bed with a huff and stood despite the creaking protests of his knees.

The blue light looked eerie in the cover of real night. He propped Jules’ door open again as he passed. A little ventilation couldn’t hurt. He paused in the doorway of the bathroom and crouched down, lowering himself to the cool linoleum with a soft groan. “Sup?”

“M not gonna throw up again.”

“Okay.” Remus flexed his ankles against the cabinets and tilted his head back. The soft towels buffered him from the wallpaper. Next to him, Jules’ forehead was stubbornly pressed into the crease of his elbow where he rested it on the toilet seat. “Still sick?”

A wordless mumble answered him.

“I’m gonna make chicken and dumplings tomorrow.”

Jules weakly raised his head. “Really?”

“Yup. Protein, veggies, sodium, starch. All that good stuff.”

Quiet fell over them for a long moment. “What are you talking about?”

“What, you don’t want a science lesson?”

“Nerd—”

He knew it was going to happen before Jules’ first jerk forward and caught his side when he wobbled, giving gentle pressure until he was upright. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “It’s okay, I got you.”

“Ugh.”

“I know. You’re doing great, J.” It was over as fast as it started. Jules trembled lightly under his touch, sweaty again, all too warm again. His knuckles stood out in harsh midnight shadows where he gripped the porcelain, thin arms shivering.

Jules sniffled. “I wanna go to bed.”

“I bet.”

“I’m tired.”

“Can you stand up?” It took Jules a moment to even start moving; when he did, it was sluggish and unsteady. Remus hovered his hands close and resisted the urge to scoop him right up. Jules wouldn’t like that. He hated being babied. It was still fucking hard to watch him pull himself to his feet.

A rinse-and-spit and a cool washcloth on the back of his neck made Jules sigh. He leaned right into Remus’ hip, head at the base of his ribs, and staggered along on foal legs while Remus guided him back to bed with a lump in the base of his throat. There was no fuss about being tucked in—he simply sighed again, so content it hurt. Remus smoothed out the hem of the comforter by his neck just one more time, once more, just so he could be sure.

--

Their parents were out by the time Remus woke. He distantly recalled the sound of them leaving, but the plane left him groggy enough not to notice or care. Jules was still snoring loud enough for him to hear it through their shared wall.

Breakfast, then. Something light. Oatmeal or eggs, if he could keep it down. Broth, if not. Remus would have to check the fridge for Gatorade and lemons.

It was strange to be functionally alone in the house. The carpet felt too soft, the curtains too still. A bright pink sticky note was stuck to the table with his name written in big letters at the top. He’d check it later.

Message To: SB <3

Morning :)

Fever’s still going, nasty cough, the works. I’ll keep an eye on him today.

Miss you

He clicked his phone off and set it aside—hopefully, Sirius wouldn’t be awake for some time yet. They didn’t have practice for two more hours in his time zone. He liked to sleep in on days like that. Remus, on the other hand, had work to do.

Quick eggs and bacon for himself took fifteen minutes. He parked himself at his usual seat without really thinking about it, pulling a dish towel and a fork from their drawers with an absent mind. He hadn’t dared to check his email yet and seriously contemplated leaving it alone until he was back in Gryffindor. Time off was time off. Professional hockey wasn’t big on ‘work from home’.

Jules shuffled in half past ten and made a beeline for the couch.

“Good morning.”

A grunt answered.

“Sleep well?”

“Uh-uh.”

“Want oatmeal?”

Jules’ mumble seemed vaguely affirmative. Remus set the kettle on and dug a pot out of the cupboard, then turned to rummage in the pantry. This was setting up to be a silent morning.

Measuring for a sick preteen was almost as strange as picturing his childhood bedroom as a normal size. Remus had only cooked for himself for years, then himself and Sirius, with the occasional potluck dish for a team dinner or holiday party. A single cup of anything was a novelty. “Want sugar?” he checked once the oats and milk were simmering. Jules snuffled in response, dragging one of the knit blankets further over his head. “Lemme check your temperature and then you can tell me, yeah?”

“Mmkay.”

A quick search of the medicine cabinet revealed no thermometer, and the same went for the hall closet. Remus spent a good five minutes riffling through the bathroom drawers and Jules’ desk before he found it propped against the base of his dolphin lamp. It had been left uncapped; gross. He made sure to give it a thorough wash before moving back into the living room.

“Blanket down.”

“No.”

“I can’t see your mouth. C’mon, just for a second.”

“Cold. Bright.”

“Twenty seconds, J. I promise. You can count.”

The blanket lump shifted. “Twenty?”

“Fifteen. Then I’ll bring your oatmeal over and leave you alone.”

A handful of shallow breaths filled the silence before Jules’ forehead poked out, then his glazed eyes, and finally the lower half of his face. Remus grimaced. His nose was red and chapped from tissues, and a faint crack split the side of his lower lip. “Have you been drinking your water?”

“Fifteen seconds,” Jules slurred.

Remus knew he wasn’t getting a better number than yesterday. Not with this vague lucidity, and not when Jules was hardly able to hold a fragment of a conversation. All the same, it made his gut sink when the thermometer beeped.

“Whuzzat?”

“102.5.”

“ ‘S worse?”

“Yep.”

A resigned nod told him Jules expected as much. The blanket swallowed him up again. Remus pulled it down over his feet before heading back to the kitchen.

Three hours passed with all the rush of a snail on codeine. Jules rallied to choke down his oatmeal before going down for a noon nap, let Remus rouse him to gulp down about a gallon of water, and overall remained sedentary while Remus channel-surfed for anything even slightly interesting on daytime TV. They settled on NCIS from one to 2:30, NCIS: Miami from 2:30 to four (with a brief break for sandwiches, or toast, in Jules’ case), and rounded it out with NCIS: LA while Remus tossed some rotisserie chicken and chopped vegetables in a simmering pot of broth.

“Re?”

“Yeah, bud?” Bisquick puffed over the side of the mixing bowl in a soft cloud.

“My stomach hurts.” Jules’ voice wavered. “And my mouth feels weird.”

Fuck. “Bathroom, hustle.”

The glimpse he caught of Jules before he vanished down the hall confirmed it: pallid skin, dilated pupils, sweat gleaming on the back of his neck. Remus rinsed his hands in the sink and dug the box of Pepto Bismol tablets out of his bag, and sent a silent thanks to whatever small mercy it was that left him without a reactive gag reflex.

He spent twenty minutes sitting sideways with water seeping into his pants from the bathmat. “I’m gonna throw up until I die,” Jules whined, pressing his forehead to Remus’ palm.

“You’re not gonna die. Definitely not while I’m here.” He slid his hand around to press against the nape of Jules’ neck and gave a light squeeze. “You’re almost done. Work it out, buddy.”

“Gonna miss the game?”

Despite the sweat, despite the illness, despite it all—Remus smiled. Of course Jules would be thinking about that when he looked like death warmed over. He wouldn’t be a Lupin with anything else on his mind. “We’ve still got half an hour.”

Jules gave a faint push back into his hand. His lower lip wobbled. “I don’t want to miss it.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll make it.”

“I don’t—” His voice cracked, but it wasn’t even slightly funny. He took a shuddering inhale and sniffled again, harsher. “I don’t want to be sick anymore, I don’t, I’m so done, I don’t like it.”

“Jules…” The redness had flooded his cheeks and ears, inching down his neck with each horribly choked breath. Jules’ eyes were bright, but not like usual. He blinked and a drip tracked down his nose. His exhale wasn’t much of an exhale at all—it wracked him, made him sway. “Oh,” Remus murmured. “Oh, hey, c’mere.”

The edge of thirteen had left Jules gangly, all bones and joints. He still fit just right in the hollow of Remus’ chest and arms. A shivering, overheated mess, but a mess that fit all the same. Fuck it, Remus thought as he tightened his arms around Jules and let him fall apart in the safe dark. He didn’t care if he got sick. This was the most vital emergency he could possibly think of. If the administration had a problem with that, he’d happily turn his gear in before leaving Jules to burn through this alone.

“I’m tired,” Jules whispered through shuddering breaths. “My head hurts ‘n my stomach hurts ‘n everything else, too.”

“I know, bud, you’re being so brave.”

A damp, wounded noise made Remus wince.

“But hey, you haven’t thrown up in, like, five minutes.”

Jules felt around blindly for a tissue and blew his nose several times before answering. “I guess.”

“You ready to get up? Have some dinner and watch the game?”

“Dizzy.”

“Okay.” He pressed the wrinkles out of Jules’ shirt with his palm and felt him go limp. “I brought some super special secret hockey medicine, if that’ll help.”

“…is it Gatorade?”

“No, but we have that, too.” He rattled the box next to Jules’ ear. “Pepto Bismol. My secret weapon.”

“Nuh-uh. That’s the pink sh—stuff.”

“Nice save,” Remus said dryly. “This is the same. It’s easier to keep down, though. And it works faster.”

“Makes my stomach stop hurting?”

“It might help.”

He waited a beat, then two. A clammy palm extended from the tangle of limbs near his middle. He dropped two of the chalky tabs into it and loosened his hold by a degree, enough for Jules to pop them both in his mouth and frown immediately. “Yuck. It’s crunchy.”

“Keep chewing.”

“Why is it coming apart like that?”

“Keep chewing,” Remus repeated through a light laugh. “Doesn’t work if you talk the whole way through.”

Jules tucked his legs closer to himself, pushing him further into Remus’ lap. As horrible as the past twenty minutes had been, he seemed better for it. The fevered sheen to his face wasn’t quite as nuclear. His breathing sounded more even and controlled.

“You finished?”

“Mhmm.”

Jules might have looked better, but Remus didn’t have the energy to fight the coddling urge this time. He slid his free arm across the back of Jules’ knees and hefted him up like a cat gone boneless, and received no protest whatsoever. Instead, Jules curled into him with a long, relieved sigh. Remus’ heart may have shattered a little.

The pregame show was just wrapping up when he set Jules gingerly on the couch and pulled the blanket around him. Half of his waterbottle was gone in a few desperate swallows; Jules wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and all but collapsed onto the throw pillows, a heap of exhaustion. The belltower by the middle school tolled six. His sandy hair was damp at the root when Remus passed a hand through it. They’d fix that eventually. Fluids first (hockey first), then everything else.

New Message From: SB <3

Heading to the rink. Miss you love you : )

Remus smiled down at his phone as he set Jules’ bowl on the coffee table and folded himself into the armchair.

“Tell Sirius I say hi.”

“He’s literally right there,” Remus laughed, gesturing at the TV. “He’s not gonna see it for ages.”

“Still.” Jules poked around with his spoon for a few seconds before attempting a small sip of broth. An approving nod followed. “It’s good.”

“Glad it meets your standards. Eat. Protein, veggies, sodium, starch.”

Jules’ eye roll was weak, but very much present. “I know, I know.”

“You gotta know that stuff.”

“I’m not gonna be a doctor.”

“Yeah, but you’re still gonna be a person.” Remus cut a dumpling in half with the side of his spoon. “If you don’t know how to feed yourself by the time you move out, I’m totally making fun of you.”

“Whatever.”

They both booed when the Habs skated out, and cheered when the Lions appeared soon after. Jules couldn’t muster much more than a rough whisper, but the soup and a bottle of Gatorade seemed to help. Remus made him get up and stretch during the first period intermission (to immense complaints, but eventual acquiescence) before letting him rest while he washed up in the kitchen.

New Message From: SB <3

First period up.

How’s J?

New Message To: SB <3

Haha yeah we’re watching

Temp’s high, still pretty sick. Getting better tho

Made soup

The response was almost immediate. Remus’ heart skipped at the thought of Sirius glued to his phone even after a rough period, just to chat with him.

New Message From: SB <3

Oooo jealous

New Message To: SB <3

Yeah you should be

It’s a real rager up here

Miss you. Go get ‘em.

A simple heart and hockey stick emoji followed. The grey bubble cycled for a moment before disappearing. That would be the midgame meeting. Remus was glad to be home—wouldn’t trade this—but he had to admit the hockey ache was still there. Even easy choices had consequences.

By the time he looked back, Jules was asleep. Remus checked his forehead as delicately as he could and was pleased to find it slightly cooler than that morning, if altogether too warm. The pattern of creaky floorboards laid a map in his bones as he moved through the house: first to open Jules’ window, then to let his blankets air out, and while he was at it, he may as well wash the sheets. The nightstand and bookshelf needed to be wiped down. It wasn’t hard to get that done while the washer rumbled on the other side of the hall. In the meantime, the soup had cooled enough to pack up in Tupperware to stack in the fridge for later. Who knew if Jules would suddenly get his appetite back? The kid was a bear when he was hungry.

He lingered for the end of the second period and swapped the sheets into the dryer at the start of the third with a cookie and a cup of Emergen-C for himself. He damn well better not catch whatever germs Jules had percolated from the hellscape of middle school. Sirius had called him ‘stubbornly healthy’ on too many occasions for it to be disproven. Besides, the administration might actually fire him if he came back from an emergency and was immediately out for three more games.

“Re?”

The sound of a quiet voice took Remus’ off-guard in the last few minutes of the third period. “What’s up?”

Jules shifted around until he could prop his chin on the throw pillow and blink blearily at Remus. “Did we win?”

“Game’s still going. 4-3, Lions.”

“How much time?”

“Just under five.”

Jules attempted a whistle, though it came out as more of a shaky breath. “Almost there.”

“Dad texted. They’ll be home in a few, traffic was rough.”

“Oh, okay.” A small smile lit his face. He burrowed back under the blanket. “That’s good.”

“They’ve been asking about you all day.”

“Did’ja tell them I was fine?”

“Something like that.” Sort of. Maybe. He had been gentle about it, at least. Gory details would only make them panic.

He made sure to poke Jules awake for the last minute of the game before shepherding him down the hall to brush his teeth and shower. It was only 8:30, but Remus felt weary all the way to his core. He made Jules’ bed while the water ran and tried to tuck the sheets in along the wall a little deeper this time, just in case one tried to end up on the floor again. If he had the time, he may as well do it right, pinched fingers notwithstanding.

It was all worth it when Jules trudged back into his bedroom and threw himself into bed, only to gasp aloud. “Aw, man, this is great.”

“You’re welcome,” Remus laughed.

“Oh, wow.” The bumps of Jules’ feet kicked happily under layers of fabric and down. “It’s all warm, and cozy…”

“Get some sleep,” he reminded him, and turned out the big light. “If you need anything, I’m right next door.”

He made it halfway across Jules’ carpet.

“Wait!”

“What?”

“You—” The faint outline of Jules’ head was backlit by his lamp. Remus could see the shadows of his hands fidgeting with the top blanket. “Will you…can you tell me about the soup stuff? The proteins and all that.”

Remus hesitated. “For real?”

“Yeah,” Jules said with a surprisingly enthusiastic nod. “It sounds cool.”

“I mean—yeah, sure. Uh…” Jules’ desk chair looked wildly uncomfortable for this time of night, so edge of the bed it was, he supposed. The sheets provided a nice cushion when he sat. “Okay, have you ever heard of macromolecules?”

“That’s a made-up word.”

“It’s what you’re made up of, actually. How about DNA? You know that one?”

--

Lyall opened the front door with a muttered curse for the bitter wind and the worse traffic. It was brutally unfair that the one day he tried to come home early, everything went to hell and kept him an age and a half longer. What kind of karma came after a father trying to get home to his sick kid?

“It’s awfully quiet,” Hope remarked behind him. The door opened at last; warm air rushed over them. “Boys? Are you up?”

The NHL postgame show was playing at a low volume, next to a plate with crumbs on it and a mug so old the pattern had washed off it. One of Hope’s blankets from her knitting phase was haphazardly piled on the couch. The evidence of both of them there, present and accounted for and safe, plucked at his heartstrings. “Why do I feel like this is exactly where they sat for the entire day?”

She shook her head. “Good for them. I’m jealous. Remus? Julian? Are you home?”

Remus’ bedroom door was closed. The bathroom fan was still on, and steam clung to the corners of the mirror next to a still-damp towel. It couldn’t have been long since they went to bed, then. Lyall pushed Julian’s bedroom door open wider and covered his mouth with his palm.

They had nearly rendered each other invisible, save for Remus’ legs stretched over the side of the bed and Julian’s arm resting atop his pile of blankets. Julian’s congested snoring drowned out the heavy, even rhythm of Remus’ breathing. As far as he could tell, only one of them had actually been prepared for bed.

“Oh my goodness,” Hope whispered at his shoulder. Her grin was radiant, even half-covered by her palm. “I don’t want to move them.”

“Re’s going to wake up with one hell of a side cramp if we let him sleep like that.”

“You do it, then.”

“…no.”

Hope scoffed fondly and tossed her hands in the air, then kissed him on the jaw as she stepped deeper into the bedroom. The whole place felt lighter, Lyall noticed. Julian had been holed up in here for two days, refusing to come out for anything but necessities. Whatever Remus had done, it worked wonders.

“Remus,” Hope singsonged in her quietest voice. She shook his shoulder, soft enough that for a moment, Lyall forgot Remus wasn’t a toddler anymore. “Baby, you need to wake up. It’s bedtime.”

“ ‘M asleep,” Remus mumbled without opening his eyes. “In my bed.”

“This isn’t your bed, lovey,” she laughed. “Come on, up you go.”

“Goin’ to sleep, promise.” His eyelashes fluttered, nose crinkling. “Talking ‘bout—‘bout proteins. Jules wanted to know.”

At the head of the bed, Julian didn’t show so much as a hint of waking. Lyall stepped forward and braced his hands under Remus’ arms, then hoisted him into a sitting position as gently as he could manage with the unexpected weight of an athlete to counterbalance him.

Remus jolted, startling into consciousness. “Woah—”

“Shh, shh.” Lyall helped him stand on clumsy legs and guided him to the door with a last playful glance at Hope. “I’ve got you, buddy.”

“Fell asleep.” Remus blinked hard. “Jules’ bed. Wanted me to stay. Time is it?”

“Almost nine.”

“Oh, god, ‘s early.” A yawn overtook him, spilling more of his weight into Lyall. He didn’t seem to know where his own feet were, but he went easily into the room next door.

“Alright,” Lyall huffed as he helped Remus stumble toward the bed and splay over the mattress. That old thing was definitely too small for him these days. Funny, how times changed so rapidly. That same bed used to make Remus look like nothing more than a pile of sheets. “Brush your teeth?”

A drawn-out snore answered him.

Lyall smiled to himself in the darkness and ruffled the back of Remus’ hair. “Night, Re.”

A single socked foot twitched in response. That was good enough for him.

(Jules’ fever broke the next morning. By the end of the day, he was well enough to go with them to the airport and give Remus the fiercest goodbye hug either of them had experienced, with a pinky-promise that the Lions would win the next game he played.)

[writingquestionsanswered]

I'm having trouble with the Set Up part of my story. I have most things planned out from about the midpoint, but I feel the Set Up to be potentially too "boring" compared to the climax. From the inciting incident, the story takes place at a different location, so I see little point describing the location of their "normal," but can't entirely start from the new place either or the rest wouldn't get properly set up. Much of their "normal lives" get revealed in bits later, when they become relevant to the main plot, but until then, they'd be "unnecessary spoilers."

In short: I feel their "normal" to be either too mundane or give away too much, too early. Any advice for this situation, or for composing the Set Up part in general, without making it too "boring?"

Thank you in advance! 👐

MC's "Normal World" Feels Irrelevant/Mundane

It's pretty common for characters to leave their normal world as they head into some adventure in their upside down world. Bilbo and Frodo leave the Shire, Katniss leaves District 12, Dorothy leaves Kansas, Maria leaves the convent, Ellie leaves the FEDRA school, Mal and Alina leave the First Army... you get the idea. But even though these MCs leave their normal worlds behind for adventures in an upside down world, we still get descriptions of their normal world. We still get to see what Bilbo and Frodo's lives are like in the Shire and what the Shire looks like. We still get the tour of District 12 and get a glimpse into Katniss's everyday life before the Hunger Games. We still see Dorothy's life on the farm with Auntie Em and Uncle Henry before she goes to Oz... and that's because setting up the character's normal world helps us understand who this person is, what their normal life is like, what their internal conflict is, and what's at stake for them. All of those things are important if we're going to care about what happens to them after the inciting incident.

So, ideally, you want to focus on setting up three things: who your character is (their personality, their normal world goal/dreams, and their internal conflict), what their everyday life is like (what do they do, who do they know, what are their skills), and what's at stake for them/what's important to them (who and what do they care about the most.) And, also ideally, you want to find an interesting situation that allows you to explore all of these things at once. The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings both begin with a party that lets us see life in the Shire, who Bilbo and Frodo are, and who's important to them. The Hunger Games begins with Katniss going hunting with her friend Gale, which gives us a glimpse at daily life (and the associated challenges) in District 12, not to mention a look at who is important to Katniss (her mom, her sister, Gale...) The Wizard of Oz begins with Dorothy having a conflict with her neighbor over her dog, Toto, who keeps getting into the neighbor's yard, which helps set up the various challenges young Dorothy faces in her life on a Kansas farm.

In your situation, you'll need to find something that lets you do this without giving away the things you want to keep secret. One way to do this would be to find a "normal world" scenario that takes place outside of the home part of their normal world. For example, if there are things you don't want to give away about their family and home life, you could start the story at school, which allows you to hide their home life while still exploring who they are, what they're like, and what's important to them.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[goldrushenthusiast]

What are your thoughts on the District 11 tributes in the 74th (Rue and Thresh) and 75th (Seeder and Chaff) The Hunger Games?

How do you think life differs between Distinct 11 and 12?

*Spoiler alert*

What do you think about the inserted scene of rebellion in District 11 in the first movie (scene after Rue's death)?

Thank you :)

@curiousnonny

I think district 11 is a fascinating district! On surface level it seems similar to 12, which I think deep down Katniss believed too, but it really isn’t like it at all which I think impacts how Katniss eventually sees it.

You know how there’s the Seam and the merchants in District 12? I think it does exist. It has to. I think Dill and Chaff are from it, for reasons I explain later, but I had to get that out of the way because in the same way Peeta & Katniss have fundamental differences from growing up in the Seam vs Merchant, I think it affects the tributes as well.

I think we should also consider Reaper and Dill from BOSAS, so I’m gonna do that lol.

I think that, for Thresh, the hunger games were an opportunity. A chance at something beyond working on the farms, no matter how terrible it might seem. While I don’t think he was excited for it, I think it would’ve been a glass half full situation he was going to utilize. I genuinely think he stood a chance at winning.

He would’ve shared the same knowledge of plants and stuff as Rue, would’ve kept his moral compass working (the thing with Katniss & owing), and it makes sense he got as far as he did. District 11 is definitely a competitor in these games, noticed even by Coriolanus in BOSAS.

For Rue, on the other hand, this was worst case scenario. I saw someone else mention there was a higher chance for her to be chosen because she had so many siblings and probably took out tesserae, and I think that’s exactly right, and having so many would only make the whole thing worse. I don’t think she had a huge chance of winning, but would’ve even more than the average 12 year old and if she fought hard there’d be something there.

Her climbing skills, of course, give her as much of an advantage as Katniss, plus her stealth. I think she could’ve survived till top 8, especially if she’d stayed in the trees. I also think her knowledge of plants would both help her, and hurt her enemies if she was willing, although I don’t think she would be. She could pull a fox face & Peeta move almost, leaving some poisonous and some not harmful berries or something in a “hiding” place for the careers to find. I just don’t think she’d survive in hand to hand combat. Plus, if she ever found him, I think Thresh would help her even though it wouldn’t help him.

Seeder and Chaff, I can’t be as sure about as I don’t remember as much about them, but I think at least one of them (Chaff, I think) would’ve been from the merchant part of D11. Both being statistically liking, and from his outlook on the games, both before and after he became a victor.

Just read up on him at Hunger Games wiki, and the fact he lost a hand but refused a capitol prosthetic is really very interesting, especially in the farming district. He was so assured that he’d be fine, he’d be taken care of, that he didn’t need one. It was probably an act of rebellion, but goes to show how self assured he was about what the capital would do for him.

Seeder grew up in the seam part to me, given the fact that she never turned to drugs, alcohol (like Chaff did) or any type of escape. She’s mentioned as looking strong despite being 60, and you can’t really achieve that without working hard in childhood and stuff, and continuing to, which I think she would’ve felt was her duty.

Thresh and Reaper also have some interesting similarities, both with their thing (& Katniss’) about owing people. I think D11, and their strict policies, force a sense of community upon the residents that binds them together and helps them trust others both more easily and still more carefully, because of how risky it is if you’re wrong.

If anyone is wondering what Reaper’s thing about owing people is, let me remind you how he apologized to the tributes about having to kill them before the games started (also relating to how strong the residents of D11, or at least the men, interestingly enough, are), and promised to make the capital pay. This was before Jessie spat in his eye btw, so there’s really no excuse for him to be saying other than a strategy or actually meaning it.

Reaper collecting the tributes and lining them up, however, could for sure be attributed to the rabies, but I don’t really know. We’re led to believe it is by Coriolanus because of how unempathetic and unfeeling he is, so of course someone caring is automatically categorized as crazy, and of course that part is used as foreshadow, but it’s still something to think about. How d11 views things and people and companionship.

Dill, however…she’s Dill. She’s tiny. Sickly. Couldn’t tell you much about her, and sometimes I honestly get her confused with Wovey, except Wovey lived longer. Dill was literally the first official death in the games, ofc excluding everyone who died from the bombs and such.

Something curious about Dill is that she’s a snitch, and by that I mean she told a capitol guy Reaper killed a peacekeeper (also, what the hell Reaper? Goes to show just how strong he is and why he considers himself so capable). I think Dill was probably merchant, also she did have tuberculosis, which would’ve been not as rare there.

She also probably knew she was dying no matter what and wanted to get everything out there, which I don’t blame her for.

Woah ok I did not expect to write so much about the tributes. Woah.

Anywho, life in 12 vs 11 is definitely as different as, say, life in 2 vs life in 7. Honestly, 12 would probably be more similar to 2, because of the mining and huts as houses and stuff like that.

In 11, you’re expected to be outside. All the time. Working, working, working. Jobs are assigned, roles specified, it’s very orderly and there’s not much anyone can do about it. Work also starts early, probably as old as 10 due to how experienced Rue was working in the trees. Meanwhile in 12, you can only start mining at 18, which Katniss acknowledges as a weakness.

This is a bit off topic, but the mining age probably started to be an issue after Coriolanus showed up and realized just how much worse he could make the lives of d12 people by raising the mining age (both in the games and money wise)

Back to the original point, In 12? If you’re outside, that’s fine. The peacekeepers love the hunters, and we know some townsfolk venture to the edges of the meadow and the woods to forage as well. Getting your own methods of food is fine, nearly encouraged.

11 is also way more strict, which Suzanne makes clear to us a lot. When Katniss visits 12 and they shoot the old man. Talking with Rue about punishments. Lots of stuff that makes Katniss do a double take and realize maybe she was lucky to grow up in 12 instead. It certainly has more freedom, despite 11 having the same working conditions. Truly, I think 11 would be the worst to grow up in, even though it helps so much with the hunger games.

Love the scene, btw!! It really supports my point about the strictness of D12 and how it forces a sense of community and stuff. It was a nice addition and realistic I think.

Also, the fact Rue knew the boy who was slow and his story about forgetting to put back the night vision glasses is so much more than an introduction to the glasses!! it shows how much the residents know about each other and how well they remember based on what the peacekeepers enforce.

Ok this has got to be one of my longest ramblings to date, but I loved it! I don’t focus as much on the original series as I should when I usually do these, and it was a fun change of pace actually having to go through the wikis instead of just remembering like I do for BOSAS.

Thank you for the question @curiousnonny , and I hope you enjoy my answer as much as I liked writing it! As always feel free to debate (but not argue or insult) with me in the comments as I always love having these combed through and stuff and getting a chance to learn more.

[laugtherhyena]

I don't know what LINUJ was thinking when he chose to make Yoruko's upperclassman and Minako two separate characters but personally I don't really mind it? Mostly cause when I see background characters that don't officially appear beyond a few mentions, I go, "A character that barely has a skeleton of a personality that I can mold to my whims?! WOOO!!" and then proceed to squeeze them like a stress ball. I don't think about Amane (the upperclassman) a lot, especially in comparison to Kojiro, but I think it'd be fun to explore her character as I do have a project idea with her as part of the cast but it's kinda on the backburner of my brain cause I'm trying not to make too many projects at once cause I'm already struggling to juggle a bunch of other stuff at the same time. That being said, on the topic of Amane's pink hair, I actually think it's dyed?? Not sure cause I only just got passed the second bad end with my friend in Chapter 6 so we haven't seen the context of Yoruko's CG where she's in her fantasy, so take this with a grain of salt, but for some reason the wiki labels the CG as Yoruko talking to Minako??? And the woman shown has her hair having faded pink tips, revealing that her roots are actually brown. Ngl, the idea that Minako (still) dyes her hair to the color she has today is really funny but I think that's just the wiki editors messing up on whos who. Sometimes wikis aren't the most reliable source of information when you want to quickly review something without replaying the game and stuff, and I think it makes more sense that in Yoruko's fantasy, she'd be reunited with who she believes is her upperclassman, even if she cares about Minako. And if we take her appearance in the fantasy as truth from what little we can see of her, that means that both Amane and Yoruko dyed their hair for their hostess job (although Yoruko did it to mimic Amane specifically), lmao.

But yeah, I think the sequel cast having connections to the characters of the previous game is a really neat tie-in, even if it's not very strong and it's interesting to explore their connections with each other in fanon. My headcanon with Setsuka and Teruya being sibling figures to each other could be interesting since they actually reunite through their work, and probably spent a lot of time catching up and getting to know each other again. Which makes it hurt even more when Setsuka goes missing. Like, Teruya probably freaked out when he realized he hasn't heard from Setsuka in a long time and tried to push for an investigation to search for her which Kinjo put a stop to due to his own plans with Syobai. Poor guy was probably torn between disobeying orders to find Setsuka since he didn't want to lose another important person in his life or falling in line to Kinjo due to his loyalty to him. But if Kinjo were to suggest that she might've been kidnapped for the killing game, possibly to "fill in space," Teruya probably chose to fall in line since stopping Mikado's killing game would probably be the closest way to save Setsuka, even if he wanted to do more. And we all know how that worked out...

On a much lighter note, in a Non-Despair AU where Setsuka and Kojiro cross paths again after many years, I like to think that they reignite their friendship since I see Kojiro being more upset over Setsuka ghosting him (and Teruya) for years without an explanation than the fact that she cheated and got herself banned in billiards, which probably caused some controversy with his sponsorship for her. Hell, he probably thought she was dead or something with how long he didn't hear from her. That's kinda what happens when you go into hiding instead of confronting the consequences of your actions, Setsuka. But once they get pass the initial awkwardness, Setsuka and Kojiro becomes best buds again. They also become drinking buddies with Teruya (as an adult) chaperoning them, much to his (affectionate) annoyance.

It's crazy to me how he just made this random ass character instead of making Minako herself be the upperclassmen, like that would have led to a much stronger connection between Yoruko and the first killing game's class than Minako just so happening to be the boss at the bar her and Amane worked at.

Slight tangent here but, seriously, Amane Kaira? Two letters away from Akane Taira? I know Linuj has a track record of having characters with similar names in the another series, but this ridiculous. How were we seriously meant to believe this was a real person? Because for the longest time i just assumed that "Amane Kaira" was the fake ID Minako used when she worked at the bar with Yoruko since she mentioned both of them had it because they were minors back then.

As for the wiki, i believe it really is just flat out wrong when it says that's Yoruko talking to Minako (which generated this whole misconception) because those CGs were first uploaded there just a little after Ch6 came out so we didn't had everything properly translated back then and it just never got fixed + just from the little we see of this girl you can tell she's not meant to be Minako

In addition, the hair color of the girl in the Cg is a soft pink whereas Minako's is a pink closer to a purple-ish (violet-ish, whatever you wanna call it) tone + from both of her sprite galleries Minako's hair really doesn't seem to be dyed when you compare it to characters we know have dyed hair in the series (Emma has visible brown streaks in her blonde hair and Hajime's is really really light at the top for some reason)

And if this isn't enough, Linuj straight up adresses her as her own person in Yoruko's character sheet (translation by ToastCat333)

So yeah, Amane, the totally real person who is not Minako Tomori! As much as this stuff annoys me, I can't say I'm not a fan of picking minor characters and making up ocs out of them, I'm curious to see what you'll make up of this character.

[themonotonysyndrome]

i can’t stop thinking about how castin must’ve felt when he was falling/in love with the baroness. how do you think he felt? or how he tried to express it? like did he watch from afar or try to do little things? i’m imagining him in a room with us, rhett and him came in and we both immediately tried to leave, but rhett told them both to stay, and now he’s just watching us interact with people and he’s just like “damn. i messed up.” or something like that.

i love lovesick castin.

so some headcanons on how he felt/what he did when he was falling or just already in love with the baroness?

i’m imagining him in a room with us, rhett and him came in and we both immediately tried to leave, but rhett told them both to stay, and now he’s just watching us interact with people and he’s just like “damn. i messed up.”

Yoooooo! Anon! You were close to what happened in Castin's Prologue audio! Rhett did try to smooth things out between Castin and the Baroness by making them play a game together, but then Castin messed up near the end by hiding his true feelings and pretending to be all manly Intacian warrior, and that pisses off the Baroness, lol.

But... hmm... perhaps instead of headcanons, lemme try to write a oneshot about Castin slowly falling in love with the Baroness:

-

Rhett, who is at the patio, is watching Castin, who is watching the Baroness from behind a tree, who, in turn, is watching the wild rabbits frolicking about with her entourage.

What a hilarious sight they all make!

With a sigh, Rhett sneaks up behind Castin and whispers, "Brother, this is pathetic. Just go talk to her already."

Castin must be out of it because he nearly screams when he realises Rhett is standing behind him. The warrior quickly crouches down before the Baroness can notice. The King is utterly unimpressed when he immediately pulls Rhett to the ground with him.

"What are you doing here!? I thought you were with the Queen!?" Castin hisses. His cheeks are red, embarrassed at getting caught. At this moment, it feels like the two of them are boys sneaking behind their parents' backs. A pair of impish friends without the weight of the world on their shoulders. It's nice.

"I could say the same for you." Rhet whispers back, deadpan. "You've been stalking the Baroness for days now. It's sad. I'm feeling sad just looking at you. Do something about it before the entire country notices how much you're pining after her."

"P-Pining!? Over her!? Eww! Brother, eww! What's that?"

"By the Goddess, Castin! This is no time for memes. You've never had any trouble sauntering your way into a group of women before, so why now?"

"That's different! She's not fun like them. She's a nerd and you know how pissed off they can get."

"I believe you've already pissed her off the moment the two of you met each other. Now the truth, please."

Castin grumbles and looks away from Rhett in favour of the Baroness. Apparently, one of her friends manages to coax a skittish rabbit to come closer with some veggies. When the Baroness' eyes widen with delight as the bunny hops onto her lap, Castin engraves it into his memories. Rhett nows a lovesick expression when he sees one and 'subtle' has never been in Castin's dictionary.

"She's... she's different. She isn't like other people." Castin finally confesses. "Not you, Not Ma, not Lilia - no one. She keeps to herself even when she's there with her friends, but then there's these little moments that bits of her peeks through, you know? And when she laughs! Look!"

As if the world has scripted it to be, Rhett and Castin watch in amazement as the stoic Baroness laughs when the rabbit kisses her nose. Even her friends stare at her in surprise.

Rhett blinks while Castin lets out a long, heavy sigh. This goes beyond simple crushes; his best friend might truly be in love for the very first time! And if he's too scared to approach her then -

"I have an idea! Leave it to me, Castin. I know of a game that can get her to talk to you."

[djsherriff-responses]

You know what Disney movie who’s world building bothers me?

Onward, you have a movie about a fantasy world where magic falls out of style due to technology. Okay that’s interesting but the whole world is just a copy of our world but with elves, Fairies, orcs and stuff and that’s honestly so boring. Their world and history would be so different that their tech would likely be unique to that setting.

I mean honestly I think having a world where there’s a spell that allows you to talk to deceased family members would definitely not have magic be forgotten but gripes like that aside its literally just our world but with a slight fantasy coat of paint.

For example we see a Centaur and he drives a car not a vehicle made for centaurs but just a regular human car that a regular person irl would drive. That’s boring and raises several questions. Would have been much more interesting and fun to design a car built for centaurs like it could motorized horse carriage.

Yeah I really didn’t like watching onward, never even finished that movie it’s world building annoyed me that much so no clue how the plot line with the dad’s walking pants ended (so obviously I’m gonna be missing information)

Especially since most of the magic lore was passed own through….. a DnD parody game of all things, that’s like the only way future generations knew about WW2 was through Cluedo

I think stories like American Dragon or Xiaolin Showdown do a way better job of having magic co exist with modern society ,while without having to go into in deep detail the way onward would have to do it to make its own setting work. In both stories the magic/mystical stuff that goes on in the plot is disconnected from the lives of the majority of people, so unless you’re actively seeking that stuff out or stumble upon it by pure coincidence, the average person in the setting won’t even know magic exists

There isn’t really much of an explanation in Xiaolin Showdown for why the magic conflict isn’t common knowledge ,but there is implications that theres been efforts behind the scenes to ensure it’s self contained. In American Dragon magical creatures have been hunted down by various groups, most prominently the huntsman , so in American Dragon it makes sense for why New York is our world despite having magical creatures in it , because the magic is trying to hide to protect itself

I know someone is going to point out this comparison makes little sense because American Dragon’s magic is hidden while in Onward it’s lost knowledge. But in American dragon mermaids using water tanks and wheel chairs to travel makes sense in the set up that mermaids are in hiding, while in Onward there’s a mermaid deserted on the middle of the lawn in a kiddie pool because…. Why , exactly? How is she gonna get out of that?

Even going with our real world comparison we still have a lot of traditional methods of doing things (like cooking and sewing) despite technology progress. Even if you wanted to make magic out as something difficult and old school, I seriously doubt something that can bring back the dead would only be passed down through a board game if there was no outside factors against it existing

I don’t really like the show anymore but the first three volumes of Rwby actually did this really well. Technically it was Dust and semblances which was not counted as magic (as that was a separate thing apparently) but the set up of people using what’s essentially magic glitter to upgrade their already ridiculous anime logic armoury of “rule of cool,fuck you” to fight each other and monsters is a far more fun and interesting way to explore magic and technology in a setting than “uh, fairies got bored of being able to bend rainbows and forgot to do that in favour of watching the kardashians”

[unohanabbygirl]

FMN SPOILERS!!!!

BE WARNED FMN SPOILERS! Ch. 31-32

……….

Okay these chapters are filled with angst! I can’t even, but I think I saw the moment Daemon die a little bit when Luke is all but rejecting him as a parent. I love that people zoom in on small details (driftmark incident) I didn’t notice but someone zoomed in on Daemon putting his whole arm around Luke as Luke goes to check up on Rhaenyra how he just stands guard and looks at everyone like “I dare you, lay a hand on my future wife and son!” I would think he was Luke’s own father with the way he acts. Harwin, my guy needs to up his game, cause right now he’s all but neglecting Luke, I expected him to demand answers from Aemond and Aegon, who knows he might go over the house and ask? So Luke doesn’t love Aemond yet, but he might soon fall for him, is what I’m getting from him? Rhaenyra and Daemon having marital issues, would that have to do because of what happened between them during the Dance? Something tells me that Rhaenyra finding out Daemon lied to her about how bad it got is going to lead to marital problems in the future I just hope no divorce, but close it, maybe for a little bit a lil separation. Rhaenyra threatening Daemon about taking her babies and leaving him because she can’t trust anyone anymore. That could be the worst thing for Daemon, I feel bad for him but he shouldn’t have lied. The family needs to be on the same page with Luke and it’s like everyone is on a different page or different story. Hiding, lying, making up half truths not a good combo. Brienne is awesome btw!

P.s. this slow burn is killing me, can’t Aemond just climb the window to Luke’s room and sneak in and cuddle with him. They can be quietly making out under the covers and hopefully Daemon doesn’t have a stethoscope trying to hear for anything suspicious.

Daemon has loved Luke from the moment he heard news of Rhaenyra’s pregnancy simply because of the fact that whatever child she had was an extension of her and anything that’s Nyra’s is his. But it was at that moment on Driftmark when he saw what lengths Luke went to defend both his brother and cousins who he barely knew without hesitation is when he went full on dad mode. He practically imprinted on the kid once he saw those chubby cheeks smeared with blood because who wouldn’t???

He’s not an emotional man by a long shot, but when Daemon does allow himself to feel, those feelings hit hard enough to leave him breathless. It’s right at the moment when Luke finishes his rant that the only thing Daemon can do is give him the biggest papa bear hug and kiss because if he didn’t than he’d probably end up throwing something which would only affirm the violence of men in Luke’a mind and probably send him into a bad panic attack.

Harwin is a complicated subject at the moment and I’m glad you noticed. In the beginning we could see how ready he was to finally be a father to his long lost son, but now that presence seems to have dimmed immensely. It’s not that Harwin is trying to be neglectful but that this has all become so real as the true reality of the young man Luke now is comes fully into light. Luke is distant, pushes away most people, and is overall a very hard person to make a connection with if you’re an authority figure. Not to mention that he’s easy to tick off. While Luke may not go full on batshit when annoyed, you can always tell by his demeanor and tone how over it he really is. It’s by no means an excuse for Harwin’s distance as a father, however it does give reason as to why.

The guy is scared that he’ll only drive Luke further away if he pushes but he’ll have to realize trying and failing is better than never having tried at all.

Rhaenyra and Daemon’s marriage is by no means a perfect one yet it’s worked out wonderfully for decades now. With that being said, there are very few things Rhaenyra will accept this time around and lies or omission of the truth is #1 on her list, especially when it comes to her children. Just like her son Rhaenyra can’t stand being lied to and everything Daemon’s covering up is a pretty damn big one.

Martial issues (and issues within their polycule as a whole) are on the horizon and it’s unavoidable considering the circumstances. Rhaenyra would 100% take the kids and book it to the Vale if she felt it was best for their future as a family because if she can’t trust Daemon then who can she trust? This man has been her entire life two times over and though Daemon may not realize it now due to all the stress, he’s putting it all on the line with this horrible idea of protecting her from the truth as if she’s a child rather than a grown woman. Very frustrating but it is what it is.

Lol, Luke’s room being a secret Lucemond paradise while everyone on the outside of that door is on the verge of separating. Poor Daemon’s gonna regret agreeing to give Luke the room with an easily accessible balcony pretty soon.

[violetsareblue-selfships]

Nostalgia

Ship: Kazuha x April | Word Count: 1506 | Warnings/Tags: food mention (again like vague), so sappy, proposal <3

A/N: surprise? ehe~ this is the official announcement I suppose that we're also engaged <3 I'll post the art in a few minutes~~ (and come back and link where it goes in the fic, I like when I did that for scara's :3 -- also this is set in-canon around the Irodori Festival for those who have game knowledge ^-^ I hope you enjoy it~ 💞

"Well, isn't this nostalgic?" April asks softly as she takes in the dark, mystical ambience of the Chinju Forest. "I almost forgot what this place was like…"

"I know what you mean," Kazuha murmurs, a small smile on his lips. "Remember that one time we played hide and seek here and you got so upset that you couldn't find me?" His tone turns teasing and April huffs, though there's a playful sparkle in her eyes.

"You cheated! I never said you could hide up in one of the trees!" If she weren't so keen on holding one of his hands, she'd cross her arms in childish indignation. As it is, she's fighting to keep from giggling.

"Ah, but you never said I couldn't, dove. Besides, I gave you that dango to cheer you up, remember?" Kazuha asks, his smile widening a little.

"Right! I'd forgotten about that… Huh, seems you've spoiled me from the beginning," April teases, grinning when his cheeks go red, barely able to be seen in the atmosphere of the forest.

Kazuha doesn't speak, instead he leads her through the forest until they reach one of the cliffs overlooking the ocean. They sit down together and Kazuha smiles at the automatic way April curls into his side, her warmth always a welcome one.

"Honestly… I'm surprised we didn't get together sooner," Kazuha murmurs after a while of silence, drawing a little curious sound from April. "You're right. I have been spoiling you since we were kids. Mainly because I knew there was something about you… something I had to keep in my life no matter what."

"I know what you mean," April says, her heart fluttering at his words. "You caught my attention immediately and I just knew we had to be friends. Sure, I didn't imagine it would end up like this, but… I'm happy we found each other."

"Mm…" Kazuha hums, turning to press a kiss to her temple. "I am as well. I don't know what life would have been like without you, but I know it wouldn't have been as sweet as it's been. As for now… I can't picture a future without you in it. One without you by my side… it just doesn't make sense."

April laughs softly, her face heating up. Somehow even after all these years, it still takes just a few pretty words from him to make her blush. "It's the same for me. That's why I plan to stick beside you. No matter what you plan to do."

"Mm…" Kazuha trails off, his eyes fixed on the horizon. "C'mon. The wind calls for us to head into the city for a bit."

"Hah, are you sure you're not hungry?" April teases and Kazuha chuckles.

"Maybe so… Then I was thinking we visit Araumi one more time before returning to Ritou."

"Sounds good."

The two stand up and work their way back out of the forest and down towards Inazuma City. Once there, they stop at a food stall and grab something to eat as well as some desserts for the visit to Araumi.

They eat together before setting off. "You know… it is strange to be back here. I know we have been back during the end of the Vision Hunt Decree but we didn't stay this long…" April murmurs.

"I know. It is odd to be here without having to be on edge as well," Kazuha says. They're always so in sync. He'd been feeling the exact same way the whole visit, even before when they were simply staying in Ritou for the Irodori Festival. It doesn't surprise him that they felt the same way. Not when they know each other so well.

"Exactly! It is nice, though, to see everything. It hasn't changed much…" April lets out a soft laugh, both of them knowing that that is due to their archon.

Kazuha chuckles as well. "It truly hasn't… Do you ever see yourself coming back here and settling down?" He asks quietly.

"Hmm. I could see it. But only if that is what you would want. I'd settle anywhere in Teyvat so long as we're together," April muses. "Or even if we never quite settle down. So long as I'm with you… life will be perfect."

"And you say I'm the one with a way with words…" Kazuha murmurs with a soft laugh.

They fall silent again until they reach their destination. They settle under one of the sakura trees and begin snacking on the dessert they'd bought.

Kazuha's eyes sparkle as he leans closer, brushing a stray bit of syrup from the corner of April's lips. He holds eye contact with her as he brings his thumb to his mouth, licking it clean while she blushes. "Sweet. But you're sweeter."

"Kazuha," April whines, her face feeling hot.

"Yes, my sweet? You know it's true," Kazuha murmurs, his eyes sparkling playfully. April whines and hides her face in his shoulder.

"You are dangerous," She murmurs softly. The only problem about knowing each other as well as they do is that they also know the best, most effective ways to fluster the other.

Kazuha simply chuckles and they finish the dessert with no interruptions. "Come here. Let me hold you a little while before we go back." Kazuha opens his arms, pleased when April easily settles into his lap and snuggles in close.

"You know… your words have got me thinking…" Kazuha murmurs, brushing his fingers through her hair softly. "I had already been tempted, but now… I really would like to ask you something. All I request is that you don't interrupt until I'm done."

"Kazuha?" April asks, but he simply looks at her expectantly. "I… okay."

"Good. Now, my precious dove, this whole trip has my thoughts all awhirl… As I mentioned earlier, I cannot see a feasible future without you in my life. You have been there for me when no one else was and you have seen every side of me that exists, yet you love all of me without question. You know I love you the same. For all your flaws, you are perfect in my eyes. You are my muse, my best friend, my lover, the reason I wake up every day, and more…"

While he speaks, Kazuha keeps gently playing with her hair, his eyes never straying from hers. And the longer he speaks, the more her stomach is filled with butterflies, anticipation lighting up every nerve as it builds.

"April, darling, I already have some semblance of an idea what your answer will be. But I find it remiss if I did not ask you this trip. It feels like fate has led us here for a reason, for this reason… So, my dearest, my most beloved…"

Kazuha has kept her attention so solidly on him, on his eyes, that she hasn't noticed him pulling a small bag out of one of his satchels. His fingers tug open the little drawstring bag and empties its contents into his hand.

"Would you do me the honor of becoming your husband? Would you marry me?" Kazuha asks, holding the ring up between his fingers, finally catching her attention with it.

The ring itself is relatively simple: a silver band with a pretty ruby as the centerpiece. But April recognizes it. "Kazuha… have you really had this since then??" She asks quietly and Kazuha chuckles softly.

"But, of course. This ring caught my love's eye. I just knew it had to be your engagement ring…"

"When did you? You didn't buy it when we were together…?" She asks softly, her eyes widening as he chuckles again.

"You got it. Beidou distracted you the next afternoon while I went back to the stall and bought it for you." Kazuha looks so proud of himself that it makes her smile. "As for your answer?"

"Of course, I'll marry you!" April says, tears pricking her eyes at how sweet this whole thing is.

Kazuha smiles at her, a soft little thing that takes her breath away. His fingers are gentle as he lifts her left hand and slides the ring into place, taking her hand and brushing a kiss over the ring.

April's breath catches in her throat and she loops her arms around his neck, pressing their foreheads together. "I'm getting you a ring," She says softly.

He simply chuckles. "If that's what you wish. I'm simply happy you said yes."

"As if I'd say no. You're it for me, Kazuha, you know that."

Kazuha brings her in for a soft kiss at that, his eyes sparkling with delight once the kiss is over. "Now, my dove, it is up to you when we return to Ritou. We can stay here as long as you'd like… or at least until sundown." He lets out a soft laugh at that.

"A little longer. I want you to myself a bit more."

"That sounds perfect, my dove."

And so, they stay there cuddled up, relishing the joy of holding their fiancé.

[wibble-wobbegong]

Why do you think Mike kissed El and acted like everything was normal if he accepted he was gay already? (/gen, I haven’t seen an analyses on this)

oh i LOVE talking about this, i can’t believe i haven’t done a proper analysis on it before. this is still gonna be informal but! whatever

okay, so, with the understanding that mike has accepted that he’s gay, we have to consider his current situation. let’s take it back to the ending of S3.

when i believe mike accepted that he’s gay and in love with will, something he can’t change, is that month he spent isolating himself and playing games in his basement which is something he clearly associates with his feelings for will, hence the adamancy that it’s wrong for kids their age to do in S3. that they need to grow up and move on. he represses these things he enjoys during his first time around with el, clearly trying to force himself to not want or need them anymore. by isolating himself and doing the very things he wished to push away and was directly addressed as an example of both mike and will’s feelings for each other, we see him facing these feelings he has head on. by joining hellfire, we see a metaphor for acceptance

the ending of S3 comes after he joins hellfire, what would be around 2 months later. that’s not a lot of time to process this part of himself and be okay with it, though he was making progress. but then el swoops back in, kisses him and tells him she loves him, essentially forcing him back into that relationship. there was no way for him to back out without either hurting el or outing himself because he was making declarations of love himself (unintentionally) 3 months earlier. he’d either have to have fallen out of love with el, which would ultimately make her feel like she’d done something wrong, or never have been attracted to her at all. just because he’s started to accept himself does not mean he was ready to be out to anyone by any means. very few queer people jump from self acceptance to coming out that quickly, especially a small town boy in the 80’s.

so, with el, he’s forced into that relationship. that doesn’t mean he goes back into repressing himself, though. he still puts up posters of half naked men and openly ogles eddie. he goes back to being a nerd and a freak rather than trying to be normal, like he was in S3. that drastic change in behavior regarding dnd is representative of mike’s feelings, much in the same way it is for will.

the reason mike decides to try and be normal with el is because he feels like he doesn’t have a choice; it’s either coming out or hurting el in his eyes. even with their strained relationship, mike has never wanted anything more than to be there for el and try and make her happy. he’s doing his best while battling his own internal conflicts.

we see a pretty good visual example of the fact that mike is hiding in their reunion hug, in which we can see el’s face clear as day;

and we get absolutely nothing from mike;

it’s an intentional shot, but mike’s actions contribute to this with the hat and glasses. mike is making an effort to hide himself from her. he wants to be the perfect boyfriend for her, but to do so he is hiding.

another thing that supports that mike has accepted himself and his feelings is the way he acts around will as soon as he’s accepted el’s letter in which she admits she doesn’t love him (at least not anymore, if she ever did at all). almost immediately he jumps into flirting and openly admitting that nothing is the same without will despite the previous two days indicating anything but that. he stops hiding and starts chasing after will

and now i could get into how mike has had rightful suspicion about his feelings being reciprocated since the rain fight, but that’s for another post

hope this explains it!!

[sawtastic-sideblog]

'Dear Lawrence,

It's been two years, three months, and twenty six days or eight hundred and forty eight days. The guilt is manageable but still eats away at me everyday. I cry to get the emotions out, but only in the shower. I don't want the others to hear me.

John is having us watch a lawyer. I only take the pictures. I never grab the test subjects or help with John's games. Mark and Amanda do that.

Speaking of them I suspect something more going on. I can't prove it but I think they're having hate sex. With as much as they fight it just seems likely. John seems to think so too. He confides in me. It's probably because I still don't talk.

I talk to you sometimes. Only when I'm alone. I whisper into the void and hope my message will get to you. Wherever you may be.

Anyway, back to the game. The guy, Westley Edgar, lives near where you, Alison, and Diana lived. They don't live there anymore. I know where they live, though, and sometimes I'll check in on them. I try to once a month. Diana has grown up so much. She looks like her mother, but she has your eyes. Alison is doing good. She is casually seeing a guy, but I don't think it will go anywhere. Both are still working through losing you. I am too.

I'm still bad at staying on track, but the almost eight hundred and fifty other letters could have told you that.

This Edgar guy gets the bad guys out of the really bad sentences and a few have even go free. John believes it's injustice. It'll be Edgar playing the game with some of the guys he let go or something. I'm not sure.

As I always say, I miss you. I hope you can forgive me. One day. Maybe.

Your friend,

Adam'

Adam closes the journal and hides it in the top of his closet. As he does, a knock sounds from the door. He slightly panics and goes to grab a jacket from a hanger as the door opens.

"You ready? John wants those pictures of Edgar's wife by tomorrow," Mark asks. Adam nods and pulls on the jacket as he walks toward the door, closing it as he walks out. Mark leads the way to the workshop.

"We're off. We'll be back by five in the morning."

"Don't get caught," John says, not looking up from the contraption he's tinkering with. Mark nods and walks out of the door on the far side of the workshop. Adam follows him to the car and they get in.

"You gonna talk tonight?" Mark asks as he parks the car. Adam looks at him with a neutral face. Mark nods before saying, "Thought so. Why don't you talk?"

Adam just shrugs and turns in his seat to grab his camera from the back seat. When he gets situated in the seat with his camera set up, he sends a text to Mark.

'Did you bring food?'

"No, I did not bring food. I plan on walking down to the convenience store later. Just to have something to do. Unless you need something now?"

Adam shakes his head and holds up a water bottle. Adam pulls up the Netflix app on his phone and turns on the show he and Mark had been watching together. Some kind of glass blowing competition. It seems to shut Mark up and Adam finds it interesting that such beautiful pieces can be made from sand.

The night goes on without a hitch. Mark went and got them food around midnight and Adam got enough photos for John to use. As the pair pull up to the workshop, they notice another car.

"Whose car is that?" Mark asks. Adam shrugs and gets out of the car. With arms full of equipment and left over snacks, Mark and Adam walk into the workshop. "I don't need help. Thanks though."

"Didn't ask. Don't care," Amanda says from where she sits, sketching what looks to be some kind of head cage.

"Not even about Adam?"

"Especially Adam," Amanda quips before standing and glaring at the men. "I don't get why he gets special treatment. Because he won't talk? Because we have to treat him like Lassie? What is it boy? What is it? Little Timmy fall in the well again?"

As Amanda speaks, she pats her legs and pitches her voice higher to taunt Adam.

"Amanda," John's voice echoes around the large space. Amanda turns on her heel.

"What? You treat him differently than me," Amanda's arms are wide.

"I do not and don't argue. Mark and Adam have had a long night, I'm sure. So, why don't we let them go rest and you can start on the plan to get the subjects here."

Adam goes to the red room that John had set up for him and sets the camera equipment down.

"Whose car is that?" Mark asks as Adam makes his way across the workshop floor.

"An old friend," is John's only reply before he walks off toward Amanda. Adam grabs himself a glass of water and downs the whole thing before walking down the hallway to his room.

As he nears the door, he notices that it's open. He stills and presses himself against the wall. Carefully, he peeks around his doorframe and his eyes fall upon a cane leaning against the foot of the bed, then a pair of brown shoes, the right leg straightened out and the left slightly tucked beneath the desk chair where a figure sits. Adam's gaze falls upon his journal in the hands of the person in his room. Not just any journal. The first one he started writing in after he got here. The one that bares all his thoughts and feelings of losing Lawrence, waking up in John Kramer's lair, the one where he learns to breathe again.

Adam doesn't look at the person's before he strides into the room and rips the journal from the hands of the intruder and holds it to his chest as he turns away. He takes a deep breath and walks to his closet where he quickly opens the door and shoves the journal on the shelf before closing the door again. He stands there head against the door as he processes the emotions of some random guy reading his most private thoughts.

A hand on his shoulder causes him to jump. He hunches his shoulders and tries to cave in on himself, begging the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

"I've missed you too, Adam," the intruder's voice is familiar. Adam's eyes widen as he turns around to face the man before him.

"Lawrence?"