#the funniest thing about it is that he's like
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Task force member reader! who has genuinely no idea that Ghost has a crush on her, and the other members know it and to annoy Ghost they just like to make him jealous like, getting closer to reader, hugging her, taking her away when sheâs talking with him and she just doesnât realize(just like me fr) until he explodes and nsfw
Reader is oblivious but sweet. Tough on the field but pretty blind when it comes to romanceâespecially subtle stuff. She just thinks Ghost is stoic and weird, not secretly pining.
Ghost, the poor man, is at his absolute limit. Gruff and brooding, but every time someone else gets too close to you, his jaw tightens and he starts radiating murderous energy. He tries to play it cool⊠until he canât.
Soap is the ringleader of the teasing. Every chance he gets, heâll casually throw an arm around you, drag you away mid-conversation with Ghost like, âCâmon, love, I need your help over here,â just to watch Ghost seethe. Soap knows exactly what he's doing and he enjoys every second of it.
Gaz is more subtle, but still in on it. Heâs the one whoâll step in all friendly like, offer to "show you something cool" just as Ghost is about to say something to you. He'll also give Ghost these sly looks like, "Say something, man," while still keeping up the act.
Price just tries to stay out of the childishness, but canât help but smirk every time Ghost clenches his fists. Price has definitely muttered under his breath once or twice, "For fuckâs sake, just tell her, Ghost."
You had no idea what was going on. Not at first.
Ghost had always been intense, but lately? Lately it was like he was about to explode every time you so much as stood next to someone else. And the othersâSoap, Gaz, even Price sometimesâtheyâd been acting weird, too. Touchier, clingier, always pulling you away mid-conversation with Ghost.
Like right now.
You were standing beside Ghost, going over the next infiltration plan. His voice was low, that deep Manchester rumble that was kind of nice when you werenât straining to hear over gunfire.
He was saying something about vantage points whenâ
"Oi! Thereâs my favorite girl!" Soap's thick Scottish brogue cut through the air as his arm landed heavy across your shoulders.
You blinked. "Hi, Johnny."
Ghost's jaw tightened so hard you could almost hear his teeth grind.
"I need you for somethinâ, love. Câmere, help me sort this scope out, yeah?" Soap didn't even wait for your answer, steering you away like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Behind you, you missed the way Ghost's fists curled tight at his sides. Missed the way his entire body went rigid, like a bomb primed to go off.
Gaz passed him with a snort, clapping him on the arm. "Youâre gonna pop a vessel if you keep bottling it up, mate."
Ghost said nothing. He just stared as Soap led you over to the table and leaned in closer than necessary, pretending to adjust something on the rifle laid out there.
"So I was thinkin'," Soap went on, voice dropping just enough to be smug. "After this mission, maybe we could hit the pubâ"
"Johnny."
Ghost's voice cracked through the room like a thunderclap.
Everything stilled. Even Price, whoâd been nursing his tea in the corner, lifted a brow.
Soap grinned but didnât move. "Yeah, Lieutenant?"
Ghost took one step forward. Slow. Deliberate. Like a predator whoâd finally decided he was done playing.
"Back. Off."
His voice was a snarl now, low and dangerous.
Soap raised his hands, still smiling like this was the funniest shit he'd seen all week. "Easy now, big guy. Just borrowinâ her for a minute."
"Now."
Your eyes went wide. "Ghostâwhatâ"
He rounded on you next, and you swore for a second he looked⊠wild. Barely holding it together.
"For fuckâs sake, do you really not get it?"
The room was dead quiet. Even Soap had the sense to step back now.
Your mouth opened. Closed. "Get⊠what?"
Ghostâs chest was heaving under his plate carrier. His hand twitched at his side like he wanted to grab you, but didnât trust himself to.
"Every time they touch youâevery time they drag you awayâI want to rip their fuckinâ heads off. And they know it. Theyâve known for weeks. Theyâre doinâ it on purpose."
Your brain stuttered. "Waitâ"
"I like you, alright? I want you. And they think itâs fuckinâ hilarious to get in my way."
It hit you all at once like a freight train. The weird tension. The way Soap and Gaz kept hovering. Ghostâs clenched fists and dead-eyed stares every time you so much as laughed at one of their jokes.
"Oh," you breathed.
Soap coughed into his fist to hide his grin. "Finally."
Price muttered from the corner, "Bout bloody time."
You just stood there, blinking at Ghost like youâd never seen him before. Your face burned. "Oh."
Ghostâs eyes softened just a fraction at your realization. His voice, still rough, dropped lower.
"Yeah. Oh."
You found him outside. Back behind the barracks where the floodlights didnât quite reach, shadows swallowing him up like he belonged to them.
"Ghost."
His head turned slightly at your voice, but he didnât move. His posture was stiff, hands flexing at his sides like he was still wound too tight. Like he didnât trust himself to turn around and face you.
You swallowed, heart hammering. "You canât just say shit like that and then disappear."
His laugh was low and bitter. "Didnât think you wanted me around after that little scene. Figured I embarrassed myself enough for one day."
You stepped closer. Close enough now that you could see the tension in his shoulders, the faint glow of his eyes behind the mask in the dark.
"You didnât embarrass yourself." Your voice was quieter now. "You scared the shit out of me, yeah. ButâŠ"
You hesitated. The air between you practically crackled.
He finally turned, squaring up with you. "But what?" His voice was rough, strained like he was clinging to the last shreds of control. "Say it, love. Donât fuckinâ dance around it."
Your stomach flipped. You were close enough now that you could feel the heat rolling off his body, see the way his chest rose and fell just a little too fast.
"How long?" you asked, voice barely a whisper. "How long have you felt like this?"
His jaw clenched. "Too fuckinâ long."
Silence. Heavy. Charged.
And then he stepped inâso close his chest nearly brushed yours, looming over you like he was daring you to push him back.
"Every time they touched you⊠every time you smiled at them⊠felt like it was tearing me apart. Because it shouldâve been me."
Your breath hitched. "Ghostâ"
"Say my name."
His voice dipped, dark and dangerous.
Your lips parted, and for once, you said it without hesitation. "Simon."
His control snapped.
One rough, gloved hand grabbed your arm, yanking you flush against him, while the other tangled in the back of your hairâgentle and brutal all at once.
Your gasp was swallowed by his mouth crashing against yours, messy and desperate. Teeth clashing, breath ragged, all that pent-up frustration and jealousy spilling over at once.
You fisted your hands in the front of his shirt, dragging him impossibly closer like you wanted to climb inside his skin.
"Fuckâ" he groaned against your lips, voice wrecked. "Youâve got no idea how long Iâve wanted this."
"Show me then," you breathed, tugging at his mask until he growled and shoved it up just enough to kiss you againâdeeper this time, filthier.
His hands were everywhere nowâgripping your hips like he wanted to leave bruises, mouth hot and insistent as he backed you against the wall of the barracks.
Your head spun. All that tension, all those stolen glances and clenched fists, finally boiling over into something raw and electric.
When he finally pulled back, both of you were panting. His forehead pressed to yours, his grip still bruising on your waist.
"Mine," he rasped. "No more games. No more letting them touch you like that. Youâre fuckinâ mine now."
Your pulse thundered in your ears. "Yeah. Yours."
He kissed you again like he was sealing the promise.
#cod#cod fanfic#cod imagine#cod modern warfare#soap cod#price cod#ghost cod#gaz cod#simon ghost riley#ghost fanfic#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost x reader
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This type of condescending post is why the LGBT is losing acceptance.
I just want that to be understood. Because let's break this down.
OP's picture compares "Flamboyance" to Joy. These things are not the same.
"Gay joy reminds the straight man of what he has suffocated himself in exchange for social acceptance or power". Ok this is another one of those "Gay is ackchewally the default" arguments. Or one of those, "men loving other men is normal but you are just giving that up for power and acceptance". No they aren't giving up jack shit. THEY ARE JUST STRAIGHT. Wtf. And you people claim you are born gay but straight people aren't real? Please justify the double standard.
"He folds himself into whatever shape looks like" Yeah. Men generally do that regardless. Unless you are telling me that gay men are incapable of being "Proper men" because they are gay. The funniest bit about this argument is that you think you are pointing out that straight men don't know what real men are when historically, men help foster the next generation. They help train the next generation to protect and defend. They hunt for the settlements and explore the world around them to keep the village safe. This has always been true. Men FOLD themselves into whatever they need to be in order to keep life going forward. That "Folding" isn't "stopping myself from being gay and happy".
Also just to point out this last bit-
#and remember you've contorted yourself into the shape of a Real Woman in exchange for soc acceptance & power#and denied yourself the gentle acceptance of doing what is comfortable on this earth
People opt for whatever standards they want. If not enough people care about those standards, they fade away. That's how society works. You are making a jab at the idea of "Real woman" when often the term historically I've heard is "Proper". Real and Proper have two different meanings. And what's more, earlier before this line, you act like, condescendingly so, that "society has created a bad standard for what a real woman is and women mindlessly go along with it." <Paraphrasing here. Even more, you posit this-
#similar w straight women hating butch lesbians#you see a woman not shaving not wearing make up wearing comfy clothes and still being loved and desired
And let me mention something here. 1. Butch Lesbians are a very small minority in the Lesbian community. 2. The way you say this is almost the same condescending way that top post implied that "Gay" is ACTUALLY the way to be a "real man". Except here it's "growing out your body hair is how you be a "real woman". Except I'd be willing to bet FemLesbians do not agree with you. Especially not Fem for Fem.
Posts like this are often fucking stupid, made with possibly good intent but fall short as they only go, "WOW STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE SO MAD". YEAH. I've been pissed for years that gay men have targeted me, a red head, and tried to get me to do sexual acts with them. And have tried to force their lifestyles on me.
SO YES. A little pissed off. But not for the reasons you claim. I don't care if a person is flamboyant. Unless they are really obnoxious about it. Because after a point, you are just putting on a performance so that everyone around you has to see you. And it's actually fucking annoying. What's more, misery and joy can't be quantified by whether or not you shave. A lot of people actually prefer to groom themselves by shaving because it's easier to keep themselves clean and make them sweat less. Take it from me as the fucking missing link, I'm the embodiment of wishing I could afford laser hair removal. And if I hate my own body hair as much as I do, color me shocked that as many women willingly shave for just themselves as do.
Posts like this are actually quite demeaning. And very condescending. Now to punt this over to my gay ally -> @theconstitutionisgayculture

EXACTLY!
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The idea that this kiss is completely without love and just about sex is still just... the funniest thing in the world to me. Yeah, Sorn? No feelings at all? Nothing? This has no feelings whatsoever is what you're trying to say? Sorn kisses Jun like a lovesick protagonist while reminding him that there are no feelings and the joy the audience will feel when he drowns in the tears a broken heart will be overwhelming (because, in the end, he can be the man Jun deserves and needs... he just needs to figure it out himself.)
#my stubborn#my stubborn the series#sorn x jun#sornjun#thai drama#thai series#bl series#thai bl#thaibl#asianlgbtqdramas#bl drama#asian lgbtq dramas#thai bl series#thai bl drama
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funniest thing to me about aftg is how terrible neil is at school. like obviously he spends the Vast Majority of the books under the impression that he's either going to book it halfway through the school year or be dead in less than five months so who gives a shit what his grades are?? but also it's sooooo funny how little effort he is putting into this. every scene of neil in class goes "he doodled fox paws on his notes and didn't learn anything" like neil. neil you do actually need to pass your classes. neil your gpa
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Annoyingly Yours I â Yeon Sieun x Fem!Reader
You is a bright, carefree high school girl who always smiles, makes friends easily, and sees the good in everyoneâexcept not everyone sees the good in you. When your cheerful nature makes you the target of bullies, no one expects Sieun, the cold and grumpy boy who never talks to anyone, to step in. But he doesâwith sharp words and quiet strength that send the bullies running.
Warningsâ nasty bullies, reader being bullied, Sieun became a knight in school uniform.
Main Masterlist WHC Masterlist
Chapter Two
Everyone says there was something oddly comforting about the sound of your laughter echoing down the hallway. It was loudâmaybe a little too loudâbut it was the kind of sound that made people turn their heads and smile without realizing.
You waved at every classmate you passed, even if they didnât wave back. You helped pick up scattered worksheets for teachers. You brought extra snacks to share with anyone who forgot lunch. If someone cried, you cried with them. If someone joked, you laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world.
People liked you. Or at least, they said they did.
"She's always so... extra, isnât she?" one girl whispered to another.
"Totally. Like, does she ever shut up?"
"She acts like everyoneâs best friend."
The laughter was quiet, hidden behind hands, passed in notes and side glances. It wasnât outright cruel. Not yet. But you noticed.
And still, you smiled. Because thatâs what you did.
In the very back row of class sat Sieun, silent and still like a shadow.
He wasnât popular, but no one bothered him. He didnât talk unless a teacher called on him. Even then, his answers were quick, sharp, and always correct. He didnât gossip, didnât hang out after school, and definitely didnât care about classroom drama.
Most students described him as cold. Some called him scary.
But you always said, âI think heâs just quiet.â
Sieun didnât care what anyone thought. Or so he told himself.
But sometimes, when you tripped over your own shoelaces and laughed at yourself, he glanced up from his book.
When you held the door open for classmates who ignored you, his jaw tightened.
When you smiled through whispered insults and kept going like nothing hurt, he stared just a little longer.
And onceâjust onceâhe muttered under his breath, âIdiots.â
The rain started during lunch.
By the time the last bell rang, it was a downpour.
You stood by your locker, trying to shove your umbrella with one hand while holding your bag in the other. Thatâs when it happened.
Your bento box slipped.
It hit the floor, opened, and spilled rice and rolled cherry tomatoes across the class like marbles.
A few students nearby paused. Laughed.
âOh nooo,â one boy said in a mock-sweet voice. âClumsy again?â
âMaybe you should stop acting so nice. Itâs annoying,â another muttered.
You bent down quickly, hands shaking just slightly. âItâs fine, Iâve got itââ
But, they didnât let you.
One of them nudged the box with his shoe, kicking it just out of reach. "Oops."
Laughter.
That was when Sieun stood up from where he sat by the lockers, book closed with a quiet snap.
"Don't cross the line," he said flatly.
The class went silent.
The bullies turned. "What did you say?"
Sieun shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket, completely unfazed. "I wasnât talking to her."
"You want a problem?"
"You want a higher GPA? âCause I know for a fact yours isnât passing. Maybe focus on that instead of pretending to be relevant."
A pause.
"You want to be smart now?"
"Iâve always been smart," Sieun said, tilting his head. "Youâre just too slow to notice."
Your eyes widened. The class was still. The bullies left, grumbling under their breath, embarrassed and angryâbut defeated. Sieun looked at you, then at the bento box.
"You're gonna get sick if you eat that," he said quietly. "The rice touched the floor."
You blinked, stunned. "Youâ"
He was already walking away. You watched him go, heart thudding in your chest for a reason you didnât quite understand.
But it felt like something had changed.
Just a little.
© 2025 aleskyyy
#yeon sieun x reader#yeon sieun x you#yeon sieun#sieun x reader#weak hero class#weak hero class one#weak hero class two#weak hero class 1#weak hero class 2#park jihoon#kdrama
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Now that I've regained some sanity, I thought I'd tell you about my experience meeting Kyle and Denise last weekend, because it was awesome!
Comic Con Holland on May 3rd: Insane. Simply insane. I was waiting for Kyle at his table, he just came around the corner and immediately spread his arms for a hug??! He even remembered me from the FACTS convention in Ghent?? man, I almost cried. He's so sweet. We talked a bit about how crazy the Star Wars Celebration was (and about those super weird people waving Syril banners... đ) and about Japan, and I wanted to know what he thought of the Star Tours ride at Tokyo Disneyland where this photo was taken:

Because that's my favorite ride. But he said he didn't go in because he was just too hungry and tired the whole time - which was pretty much exactly my experience in Japan the first week too lol And we agreed: we both miss the japanese toilets the most... he even said goodbye to his.
I gave him some artwork of mine as a postcard, and also gave him one to sign, but he especially liked the Syril's space cereal stickers I made:
He liked them so much that he took a photo of it and sent it to Denise!!! wtf ahhhhhhhh đ
His Andor panel he did with Matt Denton was also very cool, they talked about B2EMO, Syril's cereal and his outfits. If you're interested I'll upload more snippets from the video I made - here's one of Kyle talking about his cereal.
I also gave Kyle one of the cereal bracelets I made~
I CAN DIE HAPPY NOW đ love love love â€â€â€
Power of the Force Con on May 4th: Ahhh I was shaking sooo much in the line to get Denise's autograph, I was just so excited. I couldn't talk to her that much (because there were a lot of people) but holy shit she immediately put on the cereal bracelet and when I gave her some of the space cereal stickers she got her phone out and said "oh Kyle sent me pictures of these!" and actually showed me their messages?!! đđđ And then she tried to take the sticker off the foil, gave it to me to do it but I failed (I was shaking too much) and in the end my partner had to help and she eventually put the sticker on! her! phone!!!
wtfwtfwtfffff I'm going insane!!! AHHH!!! This is the greatest honor on this planet. Then she also signed my artwork and wrote TURN OUT THE LIGHTS on it without being asked!!!
it's now hanging in a frame on my wall next to me. i'm just over the moon~
She did an Andor panel together with Elizabeth Dulau (unfortunately I don't have a video of it) and talked a bit about the scene where Dedra practiced smiling in front of the mirror. Dedra has to practice it, because she never smiles - and the smile doesn't reach the eyes, so it's not a true smile, especially not with Eedy. The only time Dedra genuinely smiles is when she's interrogating Bix. To quote Denise "Dedra loves torture and hates mothers-in-law!" But the funniest thing was that she was told that in Cologne you throw "Kamelle" (a tradition of throwing sweets into the audience) and Denise, because she is Denise, didn't throw it gently into the crowd, but with FULL FORCE directly at people đ„
ahhhhh it was a really fantastic experience and I'm still absolutely bursting with joy, and I love Kyle and Denise so, SO much! I'm just so happy and hope I was able to cheer up my fellow Keeros with these two cuties â€
#andor#syril karn#kyle soller#dedra meero#denise gough#keero#i feel like i haven't used enough exclamation marks and wtfs in this post so here's some more#WTF#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#wtf wtf wtf#aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh
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the funniest thing about sinners was how utterly rizzless remmick was. when his campy happy-go-lucky love-and-happiness cult schtick didnât work, he tried to be sexy and just proceeded to fuck it up even more. like, he pissed off both mary and grace within seconds of talking to them, meanwhile mary and bo had a collective 5 minutes of experience as vampires and charmed the hell out of everyone. just terminal loser behavior from that man.
#listen#how are you gonna be a vampire and be bad at this#great villain great character hilariously rizzless#jack oâconnell covered in blood is a 10/10 from me tho no notes#sinners#sinners spoilers#remmick#fae speaks
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â all the right reasons || l.s.k
pairing: older!rockstar!leon x popstar!fem!reader
tags: music au, set in 2011, leon is a rockstar (obviously), and reader is a popstar (think like, sabrina carpenter type). rivals to lovers, lots and lots of shitty banter, feelings are CAUGHT!, really bad music related puns, MDNI 18+, unprotected p in v, reader rides that dick into next weeeek, vaginal fingering, lots and lots of dirty talk too. sappy ending <3
summary: You're a sugarplum tabloid darling who's making headlines across the globe, he's a tried and true rockstar who's a household name. Leon S. Kennedy was just another thorn in your side. Until he wasn't. Heâs older, meaner, and too good with his hands. Youâre supposed to hate him. So why do you feel like youâre falling in love?
word count: 8.4k
a/n: omg... so like... hi again... it's been a while!! i dragged myself out of the depressive pit that is trying to date real men and reminded myself of what REALLY matters (writing fanfiction of men who don't exist) so that's how i'm back here, lmao.
also, BIGGEST thank you's to my gorgeous girls vivi and lea for offering to beta read and leaving the silliest, funniest comments and feedback
anyway enjoy asshole-older-rockstar leon, he's stolen my heart and i want to [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED]... i've been shot 47 times

playlistâmasterlistâAO3

You never liked Leon Kennedy.
Heâs always been bark and bite, broody and callous. All whiskey breath and tired denim and the kind of stubble that looked more like laziness than effort. Too jaded. Too old. His time has come and gone, and still, somehow, he was headlining festivals, charting on billboards, signing tits.
Youâd met him twice before you ever really spoke. Once at an awards afterparty, where he didnât even look at you when you said hiâjust brushed past with a half-hearted âsorry, sweetheart,â before disappearing into a crowd of laughing industry men. The second time, backstage at some benefit concert. Heâd been in the wings, watched you be hurried past in a blur of glitter and gold, murmured something you can only imagine was unsavoury under his breath.
So yeah. You werenât exactly dying to be his friend.
Which is why itâs so fucking inconvenient that your first real single is now under the same label as hisâwhy you pass each other in the hallway at Capitol every other week, the scent of his cologne arriving before he does, heavy and heady and masculine.
But youâre not stupid either. You knew who he was long before you ever stood in the same room as him. You knew the album that broke him, the single that went triple platinum, the first stadium he sold out. You knew the way critics talked about his guitar playing like it was something theyâd never seen before. You mightâve even had a crumpled tour shirt buried somewhere in your closet from high school, but that was a long time ago. That was before you learned what it meant when people said never meet your heroes.
But still there were moments, little things that made you reconsider. Once, at the label offices, he held the elevator door open for you even though you were halfway across the hallway. He didnât look at you when you stepped in. Just said, âYou gonna hit the button or stand there all night?â but his voice had been warmer than you expected.
And maybe itâs all in your head. Maybe heâs not thinking about you at all. Maybe heâs just that kind of manâcoated in disinterest, carved out of concrete. Still, thereâs something behind the way he looks at you that you still havenât quite figured out.
Itâs midnight when Leon finds the fork in the road that decides his fate.
Itâs the voice of an angel that seals it.
Heâs not even supposed to be standing in the liminal space outside your door and wondering if he should go in. Heâs not even meant to be thinking about you at all.
He was thinking about the rain. About how heâd failed to remember an umbrella, about how his car smells like mildew and the CD player is still shot. About how he hasnât written a decent song in six months. His manager had so kindly told him to go home, sleep it off, stop showing up to the labelâs building like a ghost to its haunt.
And fuck if heâs already had his fill with the shitty elevator. Leonâs busy jamming the buttons to the ground floor, stuck on the second, when he hears it.
A pretty litany of sun-soaked lyrics that spills into the hallway and the elevator the same way the light from the half-opened door does.
Thatâs how he finds himself here: standing outside your studio door, staring at the plaque with your name engraved in gold like itâs daring him to knock.
He doesnât. Just opens it.
âDidnât know they let you keep the studio past your bedtime.â
Itâs a joke. Kinda. He winces halfway through delivery, like he hears it too late. Nose scrunching like he didnât mean it, and truthfully he doesnât think he did. God, Kennedy, didnât anyone teach you to think before you speak?
You flinchâjust a littleâeyes snapping open as you pull off the headphones. The track dies in your ears, and the silence feels abrupt, almost rude, like itâs been interrupted mid-confession.
You glance over your shoulder. Leon stands in the threshold looking exactly like he always doesâleather jacket, dark jeans, stubble that's a little more dirty than charmingly rugged. He could be anywhere else. He should be anywhere else. And yet.
Your brow lifts, unimpressed. âDidnât know they let you out of the retirement home either. Should I call someone?â
Leon scoffs. âIâm not geriatric.â
âSure.â And you turn back to the soundboard like he doesnât exist.
He stands there, lips pursed like he doesnât quite know what to do with himself.
âSo⊠what was that?â he asks.
You sigh like it costs you. Slip the headphones off and let them settle around your neck. âA song. Youâre familiar, yes?â
Leon rolls his eyes. âPlenty. Youâve got a smart mouth, kid.â
You grin, all teeth. âThanks.â
He lets that hang in the silence for a beat, then has the bright idea to push off the doorway. He wanders in and makes himself at home in your space. His boot grazes a stack of scribbled sheet music, and he nudges it aside with his toe like heâs being polite. Then he drops onto your couch without askingâmoves a cushion, spreads his knees, settles like itâs shared property.
You shoot him a look. âComfortable?â
Leon shrugs. âYour feng shui needs work.â
âWhat do you want?â You finally ask, defeated.
He nods toward the board. âPlay it.â
You blink. âWhat?â
âThe song. Play it.â
âYouâre really bad at this, yâknow.â
âAt what?â
âBasic human interaction. Hospitality. Small talk.â
He blinks, caught off-guard like heâs never been told that a day in his life.
âSorry,â you say sweetly. âToo honest?â
âPlay the damn song.â
You raise a brow. âMagic word?â
Leon just stares.
You sigh, press spacebar. The track tumbles out of the speakers, raw and half-finished. It holds for a moment, teeters, then collapsesâunfinished and unsatisfying. You pull your headphones off with a huff. Leon thinks it's cute.
The weight of his gaze burns a hole into your back, makes heat crawl up your spine. You glance at him when it gets too much. âWhat?â
âI didnât say anything,â he hums.
âFelt like you wanted to.â
He laughs a little then, like the meekness to your voice is amusing. âI was just gonna say itâs close.â He murmurs, âBut itâs stuck.â
You exhale through your nose, lean back in your chair, swivel from left to right. âNo shit.â
You donât see him move as much as you hear him, the creak of the aged leather couch, before thereâs the familiar dull ring of your guitar.
âYou donât mind, do you?â He asks as he slips into the second chair next to yours, you try to ignore the way your skin prickles when his knee knocks yours.
ïżœïżœïżœMi casa, su casa,â you sigh defeatedly, his lips quirk and you find yourself smiling against your will.
Leon decides your song just needs some weight to it. Typical of him. All his music has weight. A smoky, heady bass, a sexy guitar, heavy drums, but what he plays for you is none of that.
Yes, it holds weight, but a different one to what you pinned him for. It carries something gentler, softer chords that fill your lungs with exactly the type of yearning you were aiming for.Â
You pause. âThatâsâŠâ
âExactly what you wanted?â
You nudge his knee with your own, hit record on the soundboard, âdo it again.â
And so it begins.Â
You find that Leon isnât so bad when heâs writing music with you. In fact, within the four soundproof walls of your studio, heâs almost nice. He listens when you tell him to change a chord. He lets you needle him, prod at his composure like youâre tuning a guitar string too tight just to hear it snap.
Most nights youâre in the studio until the twilight hours before sunrise. You stay until your voice is worn ragged, fingers blistered from overuse. Until your limbs give out and youâve passed out in the swivel chair, curled up like a cat in the glow of LED strips and mixing boards. You always wake to something left behindâa lukewarm cup of coffee, a half-drunk energy drink, sometimes the old throw blanket draped over your shoulders. Itâs a rhythm now, syncopated and strange, yet something youâve grown fond of.
Itâs only inevitable, the way you grow closer with time.Â
âDonât lie sweetheart,â he murmurs one night in the hush of your studio, âI think Iâm growing on you.â
âLike black mold.â you shoot back, but the grin tugging at your lips betrays you.
And itâs just all too easy to think about him when he's not there.
You remember watching his set from the wings at that summer festivalâthe first time youâd shared a stage. The downpour had been terrible and insistent his entire performance, rain slicking his thread-bare shirt to his skin, turning his hair dark and wild. Heâd looked like straight up sex appeal, sweat and storm and strobe lights, and youâd had to physically stop yourself from reaching for him when he walked offstage.
Heâd smelt like a thunderstorm, heady as heâd squeezed your shoulders like he was grateful, damp and buzzing with leftover adrenaline. âHowâd I do?â
âNot bad, rockstar,â youâd said, but your voice had come out all soft.
Now he lives in your notebooks.
Thatâs the real inevitability of it, you think. Unreleased verses tucked between grocery lists and studio appointments. Lyrics written in the haze of 2 a.m., voice notes left half-sung on your phone, songs youâll never show him during your secret writing sessions.
Theyâre not the kind of songs you should be writing.
Theyâre laced with wantâvelvet and teeth, obsessive and desperate. They donât sound like you, not the way your label wants you to. Theyâre darker, sultrier, leave you flushed when you play them back.Â
Itâs not like you mean to write them about him. They just come out that way. Something about the way his voice sounds when he's two glasses of whiskey in and recounting a silent film heâd watched three fortnights ago. Theyâre all pent up tensionâthe way he pretty much knows his way around your apartment now, well enough to find where you keep the good wine anyway, the way his fingers move over the fretboard of his Paul Reed Smith with a guitar pick between his teeth, the phantom weight of his palm on your lower back when he passes by you.
You bottle every look, every breathy half-laugh, every fleeting moment where you wonder what his hands would feel like if they dipped lower.
Your songs are about him, yes, and theyâre for him, in all the infuriating ways you wish they werenât.
So naturally, the smartest thing to do is keep them buriedâdemo files hidden in unlabeled folders, notebooks tucked behind equipment cases. Off-limits. Confidential. A bomb waiting to go off.Â
At least, until tonight.
Youâre curled up on the studio couch, Leonâs out at some fancy party tonight, said he couldn't write. Thereâs a half-empty bottle of wine and the glow of your laptop screen to keep you company, but itâs not enough not the same without him.
Thereâs a particular song that haunts you. Itâs a confession wrapped in delicate ribbons of sultry melodies. Your voice a touch away from a moan, lyrics that dance around his name.
You shouldnât have written it.Â
Definitely shouldnât have recorded it either.
And now you find yourself hovering over the file like itâs taunting you.
Maybe you can blame it on the buzz in your veins, or the way youâd caught his eye earlier that morning in the breakroom. Heâd looked at you over the rim of his mug, winked at you like he could read you. You curse yourself under your breath at the memory. He totally knows heâs getting to you. Youâd dropped the I-hate-you act three moves back.
So you drag-and-drop the demo. Chew your lip. Hit send.
Check and mate.
But by the time youâve sobered up enough to panic, itâs already much too late.
Seven minutes. He texts back, and it sounds nearly like a threat.
Bad, bad, bad idea. No, actually, bad doesnât even begin to encapsulate how horrific of an idea that was. A category-five hurricane of a mistake.Â
What were you thinking?Â
Well, clearly you werenât.
You clamber to your feet, pace barefoot on the studio carpet, wearing a frantic path into the fibres. Back and forth, back and forth. Damage control is like a roulette wheel spinning in your mind, you could delete the message, a phone malfunction, yes, totally. Your label leaked it by accident, or itâs just one big elaborate joke.
Or, orâ and this is the best one yet, you could change your name, dye your hair, move to another country where six-time award winning rockstars with stupid voices and stupid fingers on guitars donât exist.
Youâre halfway through plotting your escape through the window when the door clicks open exactly seven minutes later.
You startle like a deer in headlights, eyes wide when they snap up to the man of the hourïżœïżœïżœto Leonâ and your stomach drops clean through the floor.
âYou drive fast,â is what you manage. Leon clicks the door shut behind him.
His hairâs an artful mess, like heâs either run his hand through it a million times on the drive here, or just rolled out of bed. You like the former option so you pretend itâs that. His shoulders look tense, jaw tight, and his eyesâdark, sharp, dragging over you like heâs trying to see right through you.
His eyes flick to the littered coffee table, your notebook, the bottle of wine that looks at least a quarter drained.
Something strange flickers in his gaze, and for a minute you paint him as disappointed.Â
Oh. You realise, with startling clarity, that he thinks youâre wasted.
Itâs like a light at the end of the tunnel, a saving grace. Itâd be an easy way out, wouldnât it? Oops, Leon, sorry, wasnât in my right mind, donât even remember sending it, haha, how embarrassing!
But youâre not, at least not anymore, youâre standing in front of him with unfortunate sobriety.Â
âAre you drunk?â He asks, voice low and rough around the edges.
Your mouth falls open, as if youâve been scandalised. âUh, rude?â You gesture wildly to the wine, then yourself. âI had two drinks, max. I am perfectlyââ you take a dramatic step forward, stop, then another, arms out like you're proving a sobriety test, ââ-fine.â
Leon doesnât budge, stands there with his brows cinched like heâs in deep thought. It gives you space to take the upper hand back, if it was ever yours in the first place. âYou, on the other hand,â you point an accusatory finger across the room, âare looking at me like I crashed your car or something.â
You might as well have with the way you have his heart hammering up his throat. He hates it, how you make him lose his carefully crafted cool. Being this nonchalant doesnât come easy.
His tongue swipes over his teeth. And fuck him, because that shouldnât be so distracting.
âFine,â he starts, slow, âyou wanna play dumb?â
âMânot dumb, itâs called being coy,â you hum, all too self satisfied.
Leon lets out a short breath of laughter, sharp, shakes his head and turns away like he needs to physically remove himself from you before he does something stupid.
And you should leave it there, because his buttons are officially pushed, yet you donât feel familiar satisfaction curl around your chest like it should. âIf this is about the songââ
His head tips, just slightly. âIf?â
You swallow. âI meanââ
He scoffs. Sharp. Disbelieving. Runs a thumb over his lips. âIf this is about the song,â he repeats, like he canât believe you even tried that.
You open your mouth, then close it, then open it again. "Iâ"
âDonât,â he mutters. âDrop it.â
Your jaw shuts, and it takes less than a second for Leon to close the distance between you, effectively stealing all the air from your lungs. You resist the urge to back away, to give him that satisfaction, even when your body screams at you to. Not out of fear, but because heâs looking at you like he can finally see right through you.
"You sent it to me first," he says, quiet, but sure. His eyes flick down, over your lips, your throat, back up.
Your stomach turns, and you force yourself to bite back your words, despite how hard they are to swallow.
âAnd I wanted to believe you were drunk when you sent it,â he says, voice rougher now than before, âwouldâve been easier that way.â
You shift your weight, but donât bow your head. âEasier?â
Your gaze flickers to where his jaw flexes. "Wouldâve been a mistake, then. Wouldâve meant I could just forget about it."
Forget about it. That shouldnât sting.
You shrug, aiming for nonchalance, but your voice comes out quieter than you mean it to. "So forget about it."
His voice, that stupid calibre of his, drops to something even lower, something barely above a whisper.Â
"You really want me to?"
Your breath stutters. He takes your loss of words as an answer.
His fingers brush against your wrist, deft hands circle around the bone, his thumb brushing up against your pulse. Your skin burns where his fingerâs graze. His other hand skims up your other arm, brushes against your jaw, and itâs so soft, tentative in a way that makes you shudder, an oxymoron to the storm brewing in his eyes.Â
âTell me,â he murmurs, âif I kiss you right now, are you gonna pretend you donât want it?â
The question hangs in the space between, thick like tar.
Itâs only when his thumb brushes against your cheek, that you feel your restraint, thin as hair, give. Slowlyâso slowlyâyou tilt your chin up, just a fraction, just enough to close the distance so that your lips ghost over his, an echo of a kiss, but not quite one. Your move, rockstar.
Itâs a thread-thin dangerous thing that sets his jaw tight, he inhales sharply, and you swear you see him tremble.Â
You laugh softly at that, sweet as ever.
Leon caves.
His hand shifts, curls around the nape of your neck, pulls you flush and slots his lips against yours.Â
The press of his mouth is warm, wanting, firm and demanding.Â
But then you smile against his lipsâsatisfied, smug, victoriousâand he groans something devastated.
Itâs a low, deep, wrecked sort of sound, something that comes right from his chest, heavy with everything unsaid. His other hand finds your waist, squeezes tight, feels your skin give under his hold, like youâre finally his to keep and he canât quite get enough.Â
âMinx,â he mutters, breathless frustration bleeding into his words.
You revel in it, your skin erupting in goosebumps.
His hand tightens around the back of your neck, tilting your head just soâlike heâs determined to kiss that satisfaction right off your lips.
Spoiler: he wonât.
Because you kiss him back just as fiercely, just as insistently, pressing up on your toes like you need to get closer, like you could crawl inside his skin if he let you.Â
Your hands curl around his shoulders, move up to the junction where they meet the column of his throat, tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck. You tug and he lets out something that sounds dangerously close to a moan.
And you wonder if he hates this, how easily he unravels for you, how easily you undo him. Itâs like youâve been sent right from heaven to torture him.
His hands find the curve of your waist, skate down the warmth of your skin, the swell of your hips, the back of your thighs, until heâs pressing in, guiding you backwardâsteady, steadyâuntil the backs of your knees hit the couch.Â
Your balance wavers.
âCareful,â he murmurs, half-amused like this is funny to him.
He doesnât give you the grace of finding your footing, pressing forward until youâve sunk into the cushions.
Leon stands there for a second, looking down at you, eyes heavy-lidded, dark with something that makes heat coil in your stomach. He drags a hand over his mouth, like heâs trying to wipe away whatever impulse is written across his face. Like it might be something reckless, ruining.Â
Then, he exhales. Sharp and quiet, he sinks to his knees in the space between your legs, a sight so devastating you forget to breathe.Â
Broad hands wrap around the plush of your thighs, fingers pressing half-moon divots into your skin.Â
âLook at you,â he murmurs, half to himself, half to you, something dangerously close to adoration lacing his words. His thumb brushes absently along the sensitive skin just above your knee, gaze tracking the way your breath shudders. Ruining, indeed.
And thenâoh, thenâ his palm slips to hook underneath your knee, pulls your leg over his shoulder. You suck in a sharp breath, unable to tear your gaze away from his; bright blue eyes that sparkle something wondrous in the low light.Â
You try to handle yourself, lest he watch you fall apart from a simple look. âIf you think Iâm just gonna melt the second you put your hands on me, youâreââ Your breath unfortunately hitches the second his grip tightens around your thigh, makes your pulse jump.
He raises a brow, infuriatingly smug, like heâs daring you to finish that sentence.
You clear your throat. ââyouâre sorely mistaken.â
Leon huffs out a laugh, low and knowing. âSorely?â
You fruitlessly dig your heel into his back, a half-attempt at a kick, a half-attempt at saving some of your dignity. âYes, sorely.â
His hands slide up in a wordless answerâdragging his nails back down your thigh, nosing at the soft fat, pressing his mouth against the skin. The brush of his lips alone unravels you enough that you canât muster an appropriate response, shivering, sighing instead.
âSomeoneâs quiet,â he muses lazily, drags his teeth just barely along your skin before soothing the spot with his tongue. âWhereâd all that attitude go?â
You scowl before you can stop yourself. âItâs recalculating.â
A shit-eating smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth, âYeah?â He does it again, open-mouthed this time, sucks supple flesh between his lips, bites, pulls away. âLet me know when itâs back."
Your chest feels like itâs on fire, so instead, your hands find the broad line of his shoulders, curl into the fabric of his shirt, and pull him up by the collar. He follows without much give, your thigh falls off his shoulder when he climbs up to press you into the plush cushion, cages you in. And fuckâyou donât think you should be this turned on by his weight atop you, by the heat of him, by that look in his eyes.
You can hear the way your heart pounds, blood rushing in your ears. Can feel it in your fingertips when you drag them down his chest, his stomach, until they catch the hem of his shirt. You push it up enough to reveal the hard muscle of his abdomen. He shudders atop you.
Leonâs lips are back on yours before you can even think to be smug about it, before the teasing grin can curl at the corner of your lips. Itâs hotter now, deeper, tongue sliding against yours like heâs trying to drown you. And in the heat of it, his knee presses between your thighs. Youâre not sure if he does it on purpose, if itâs a brilliant accident, but either way it makes you keen, a gasp of pleasant surprise tumbling from your lips.
He groans into your mouth, one hand tightening on your hip. âYou sound better than I imagined,â he breathes heavily, and heat floods your face.
You swallow hard. Shut up, shut up, shut up.Â
Your heart jumps at the thought of him having imagined this. Having imagined how you sounded, how he wouldâve imagined you falling apart. It does horrible things to your head and even worse things to the slick heat between your thighs.
You should have a response by now, something sharp and devastatingly witty, but all you can really focus on is the way he looks at you. Like heâd let you ruin him and call it a privilege. And then he moves, pressing closer, knee pressing up between your thighs more purposefully than before, and whatever witty remark you had queued up promptly exits the premises.
The sound that leaves your mouth is embarrassing. Mortifying, even.
âOh,â Leon murmurs, voice all smoke and velvet, âthere it is.â
You absolutely despise how much you like that, refuse to let him have it. Canât. Wonât. His ego is slowly swelling to the size of a stadium, and the last thing you need is for him to think he has you all figured out.
So, you do what any self-respecting, prideful person in your position would do: you take the liberty to push at his shoulders, and when he leans back, you seize the opportunity. Grip the front of his shirt, and push him down against the couch. He lets you, laughing under his breath, hands settling easy against your thighs as you straddle his lap.
âDonât look so smug,â you warn, fingers sliding down, slow and deliberate. His stomach tenses beneath your touch.
âIâm not smug,â he argues, but heâs smiling something devilishâlazy, lopsided, thoroughly enjoying himself. His hands flex against your legs, and you let yourself believe he needs it to ground himself. âJust waiting to see what youâve got planned.â
Your pulse thrums in your throat, but you play nonchalance better than he gives you credit for. âYou got a request?â
âDonât think I need one,â he says, watching as your hands dip lower, brushing over his belt buckle. âYou wrote a song about it, mâsure you have ideas.â
If looks could kill he would be dead, because youâre glaring at him like heâs said something horrific. He is right, but you donât let him have the satisfaction of hearing you admit it.
Instead, you hook your fingers under the leather, tug just enough to make him suck in a harsh breath. His eyes darken, and itâs thrillingâwatching him unravel, shift beneath you.
âAw, is that all it took?â You coo, pleased beyond words, leaning in close to brush your lips against his jaw. âUsually so put together, doesnât take much to get you like this, does it?â
Leon huffs a laugh, but goes willingly, tilts his head to let you mouth down his throat. âYou wanna talk about falling apart? What was that sound you made just a minute ago?â
You bite down, enough to make him hiss. âStop talking.â
You can picture the smile that tugs at his thin lips, feel the way his warm, broad palms skim up, under your shirt, pressing into your back, fingers tracing the curve of your spine, slipping under the band of bra.
His belt slips free with a quiet clink, and you savour the way his muscles jump under your hands as you undo the button of his jeans, the steady sound of his shallow breathing when your fingers brush against the sharp line of his hip bone.Â
He tries not to push, but you can just about feel the restraining in him, the way his fingers twitch where they rest against your thighs, jaw clenched, muscles tight like a wire pulled taut.
You drag your nails lightly over the plane of his stomach, card your fingers through the thin trail of hair that leads down from his navel, just to see what he does when you do.
Leon sucks in a sharp breath, his head tipping back against the couch, and the sound he makesâlow and barely restrainedâsends a rush of heat straight through you.
âYouâre trying to kill me.â He swears, voice beyond wrecked, and for a second you think he might start begging for mercy.Â
âNo,â you hum, tilting your head, hands running up his chest, under his shirt. âJust having fun.â
Leon laughsâall breathless, shaky around the edges. But thereâs something desperate in the way he exhales, in the way his hips shift up just barely like heâs fighting every instinct to meet you halfway.
There must be a devil on your shoulder, he thinks, because you make it worse.
Your hips roll down, testing, barely any pressure, but enough he feels it. His breath punches out of him like youâve knocked the wind from his lungs. His fingers dig into your thighs, desperation in his grip.
His head falls forward, eyes flicking up to meet yours, and fuck, you really werenât prepared for how he looks at youâhalf-lidded, dark with something simmering just beneath the surface.
âYou enjoying yourself?â he asks, voice low and rough, like it pains him to think too hard.
A grin stretches across your lips, heart thrumming with satisfaction, youâve won, you think, made him fall to pieces without even touching him properly.Â
But then he exhales sharply through his nose, takes your hand.
He presses it to his chest, right over his heartâfast, heavy, pounding.Â
âYou feel that?â His voice is low, his other hand, still on your back, coaxes you closer. Close enough your lips brush. âYou did that.â
You let out a shaky breath, Leon curses because he thinks he finally has you breaking.
You didnât expect him to do that, to let his walls come down and show you just how much you affect him. Didnât think heâd pull the rug from under your feet and admit defeat in one fell swoop. He looks at you like he actually wants you, not just the game of it, not just for the win.
He wants you.Â
âŠYou want him.
Leon watches your face like heâs waiting for you to stop him, but when you donât, when your lips part like youâre about to ask for something, maybe even begâhe decides.
He leans up, closes the short space between you, and kisses you deep and slow. Like youâre the best thing heâs ever had the pleasure of tasting. He doesnât rush, nor does he fumble. Just touches you like he means it. Like he really has thought about this more than heâs willing to admit.
His fingers push at the hem of your shirt, sliding up your ribs, pulls the fabric off like itâs nothing. And when your body trembles against his, he swears to himself heâd do just about anything for you.
He lets you tug his jeans lower, helps you. His hands are steady, careful when he presses against the fabric of your underwear.
Leon watches your face, watches the way your lips fall open, breath uneven, the way your fingers tighten in his shirt, and thenâ
Then you make a sound so sweet, so utterly wrecked that his resolve snaps like a thread pulled too tight.
âChrist,â he mutters, like it physically pains him, and then heâs kissing you twice as hard as before, deep and wanting, swallowing every breath, every soft noise, every shaky exhale.
His fingers press firmer, so, so eager, willing to coax any sound out of you that youâll let him. Your hands curl at his shoulders, hips bucking deftly against his palm.
âLeon, Leon, Leon,â you murmur, breathless and shaking, spilling his name into his own mouth.
He stills just barely, and fuck, it wrecks himâhe doesnât know if itâs the way you say it, like heâs something sacred, or the fact that youâre coming undone just for him.
âCâmon, sweetheart,â he whispers, pulling away even if it kills him, pressing warm lips against your jaw. âGotta use your words.â
You blink up at him, dazed. âDonât baby me.â
His mouth twitches. âYou donât want me to baby you?â
You want to tell him everything. That you want him to touch you like this, and talk to you like that, but also see you, really see you. Want him to want all of itânot just your body, not just the thrill of it, but the gentler parts too. The parts of you that ache when he leaves the room. The parts that want to believe someone like him could care that deeply.
âI wantââ you start, then stop, teeth sinking into your lip.
He softens. Just a bit. Just enough.Â
âAlright, sweetheart,â he murmurs. âTell me how you want it.â
Your throat works around the words. You reach down, let your fingers trace along the waistband of his boxers, and look him dead in the eyes.
âWanna ride you.â You whisper, voice is thin with adrenaline and want.
Leon groans like itâs been punched out of him. âFuck. Jesus. Shit.â
You grin, all teeth, trying to ease the gravity in your chest. âOh, câmon, rockstar. Iâm sure thatâs not the first time youâve had a girl say that before.â
He huffs out something like a laugh. âSâdifferent,â he says quietly.
Youâre too scared to ask how.
So instead, you kiss him like itâll shut out the question. Like you can pour your want into his mouth and heâll take it, keep it, like your secret's tucked somewhere between your teeth and if heâs patient enough, if he presses hard enough, heâll find it there.
Leon groans into it, hands dragging along the curve of your waist, your hips. His palms are firm there, like heâs claiming something, like heâs grounding you both.
âYou ride me,â he murmurs against your lips, âand I swear Iâm not gonna last long.â
âAw,â you tease, all syrup and heat, brushing your nose against his, âpoor baby.â
He bites your bottom lip in retaliation, gentle but pointed, and you gasp.
âIâll make it worth your while,â you whisper, fingers curling in the fabric of his shirt before finally, finally, dragging it up, over his head, revealing sweat-warmed skin that you wish you could lick clean with your tongue.
Unfortunately, there doesnât seem to be much more time to waste. Leonâs handsiness, youâve discovered, is both a curse and a giftâhe canât seem to stop touching you, and youâre in no hurry to make him.Â
He helps you shimmy out of your underwear, breath catching when youâre bare before him. He drinks you in, staring like a man praying for patience. Then you sit back slightly, thighs spread over his lap, and he does it again, that mouth of his.
âGod, look at you,â he mutters, like he canât believe his luck. âYouâre unreal.â
It makes your head swim, the way he says it.
In hindsight, you shouldâve taken more time, wish youâd used your hand to stroke his length until he was begging for more, but the heady haze of sex-soup your brain is swimming in doesnât leave you much choice. Youâll get him next time, you decide.
So instead you hide the flush of your cheeks with the sink of your hips, and you think it just about does it. Leon groans like it knocks the wind from him, his head tips back against the couch, throat bared, lashes fluttering.
The stretch is deep, thick, just shy of overwhelming. It steals your breath and then your balance, and you fall forward, catching yourself on his chest. Heâs warm there. Bare skin and heart beneath your palms, his pulse kicking against your fingertips like it might leap out and run to you.
âFuckâ God youâre warm. Youâre so warm,â he mumbles, and itâs so hot and heavy it makes you blush hard enough you feel it in your ears, your chest, your thighs.
âRomantic,â you breathe against his jaw, trying for wit but inevitably melting into the moment.
He huffs out a laugh, half-amused, half-ruined. âMouth on you.â
âYou like it.â
âUnfortunately,â he grits out, squeezing your thighs. âYou gonna move or just sit there lookinâ pretty?â
He feels you grin against the column of his throat first, then feels you roll your hips sickeningly slowly second.
âChrist,â he moans obscenely, fingers digging into your skin. âYouâreâfuck. This is a bad idea.â
You pant, shake your head. âI think weâre way past bad ideas.â
Leonâs hand slides up your back, catches at the nape of your neck, forces your mouth back to his like he needs to taste your smugness. You feel him twitch inside you when you moan into the kissâhigh and desperate, something wild climbing up your throat.
âYou sound so sweet when youâre full of me,â he murmurs against your lips, and itâs awful, the way your body clenches down at the filth of it. âAll that smartass attitude, but now youâre justââ he cuts himself off with a groan, ââfuckinâ whimpering.â
âShut up.â
âMake me.â
Your hand finds the back of his neck, you tighten your grip in his hair and drop your hips again, slower this time, grinding until he groans like youâve punched the air out of him. You want to crawl inside him, disappear beneath his skin.
âPretty girl,â he says, low and reverent. âYou sound so fuckinâ sweet.â
You whimper at that. Your rhythm stutters.
Leon finds it really doesnât take much to melt your poor brain. Youâre already goneâthighs trembling, mouth open, whimpering nonsense between the slick drag of your hips. He takes advantage where he can, thrusts up into you with a force that makes you hiccup on a wet moan. Cute, cute, cute.Â
âLeon,â you whisper, voice thin and cracked and ruined. Youâre not sure what youâre asking for. More? Less? Everything?
âYeah, baby,â he breathes, eyes glassy as they flick between your face and where your bodies meet. âFeels good, huh?â
God, his voice. You want to drown in the low timber that rattles through your head when he speaks like that. And of course, you nod. Desperate, mindless, somewhere between obsession and devotion. Your nails dig half-moons into the meat of his shoulders, your hips rocking pitifully.
âCanâtâcanât think,â you admit, a choked sound riding the edge of a sob.
Leon lets out a sharp breath through his nose, swears under it. âGood.â His voice is hoarse, fraying at the edges. âDonât wanna hear you think. Just wanna hear you come.â
âYours,â you whisper without thinking, tears burning and cresting your pretty lashes. âYours, yours, yoursââ
âThatâs it,â he groans, âMy girl.â
Your head jerks slightly, like the words ripple straight through you.
âYour girl?â you echo, dazed, like it floated up out of your mouth before your brain could catch it.
He doesnât answerânot with words. Just thrusts up into you slow and deep, like he can fuck the truth back into you. Kisses you like youâve ruined him completely.Â
And just like that, itâs all too much.
The rhythm youâve managed to keep starts to splinter, your movements losing precision. Youâre clinging to him, breath coming in hot, wet gasps, thighs shaking, body screaming for that last push.
Leon feels it. Sees it in your face.
âYou gonna come for me?â he pants, hands sliding down, down, gripping the back of your thighs as you lift and drop, roll and press. âYou gonna soak my cock like a good fuckinâ girl?â
âDonât wanna yet,â you whisper, but itâs fragile, a lie at best. Youâre already falling apart.
He groans like youâve stabbed him. âJesus, youâre killing me. I havenât fucked you stupid enough yet, huh?â
His hand slides down, fingers finding your clit, circling slow and punishing.
You arch into him with a cry, loud and unfiltered, every inch of you unraveling.
âThere she is,â he breathes, reverent and wild-eyed, watching you fall to pieces on top of him. âGod, baby. Just like that.â
âYouâre beinâ mean,â You whine, words all slurred, as the tears begin to well and dribble down the pretty apples of your cheeks.
âOh, angel,â He coos, and god you really do hate how smug he gets. âMe? Mean? You wound me, pretty.â
âShut up,â you pant, whining high and rutting hopelessly against him.Â
âCâmon,â he pants, thumb still working lazy circles against the throb of your clit, âI wanna feel you beg for it.â
Itâs cruel. Cruel, the way he says itârasped out like a curse, like itâs the last thing heâll ever ask for. His hand is steady even as his breath breaks apart. Heâs wrecked. Close. You can feel it in the way he shakes under you, in the stutter of his hips against yours.Â
You giggle helplessly into the crook of his neck.
His thumb presses firmer, tight figure eights.
âLeonâ!â your voice catches on a sob, youâre so close itâs dizzying, so wet and full and tense that your whole body tightens like a string about to snap. âCanâtâtoo muchââ
âToo much?â he echoes, low and amused, and god, it shouldnât sound so tender. âThought you said you didnât wanna come yet. Changed your mind?â
You nod before you can stop yourself, head lolling as your hips rut down in frantic little circles, chasing the friction.
He groans at the sight, palm spreading wide across your spine like heâs trying to hold you together. âFuckinâ knew it. Talk big, but look at you nowâmakinâ a mess on me.â
One arm tightens around your waist, locking you down, and the other braces at your back as he thrusts up into you againâdeeper now, sharper, fucking the air right out of your lungs.
You keen, and he laughsâbreathy and soft and so fucking fond that it breaks you open.
âLook at you.â He noses at your cheek. âYouâre outta your mind.â
You are. You really are. And itâs all him. The heat of him, the rough scrape of his voice, the way he touches you like youâre something to worship and ruin in the same breath.
âGonna come,â you choke out, breath hitching as your thighs start to shake. âPleaseâLeon, pleaseââ
âFuck,â he groans, and his hips stutter. âGo on, baby. Let go. Youâve been so good for me.â
Thatâs all it takes. The words hit like a match to gasoline. Your whole body seizesâtight and trembling and gasping as your climax crashes over you like a wave, dragging a whine out of your throat that doesnât sound human.
Leon holds you through it, rocking you through every pulse, every shudder. He murmurs something into your skin, something quiet and unintelligible, and then he followsâhis body locking up beneath you, his breath catching.
âFuckâfuck,â he hisses, head tipped back, mouth open. You feel the heat of him inside you, feel the full-body tremor that wrecks him. Heâs still buried deep, still gripping you like heâll fall apart if he lets go.
Itâs a long moment before either of you moves.
You can feel his heartbeat against your chest, wild and unsteady.Â
âYou alright?â he asks after a minute, voice low and rough around the edges.
You nod, cheek resting heavy against his shoulder, still trembling even when he eases you back. Your body feels like itâs been rung out, soaked in sugar, nerves singing somewhere between pleasure and disbelief.
Your fingers twitch where they rest against his chest, and you murmur something against his neckâsomething nonsensical, vowels dragging like honey.
âWhat was that?â he asks, voice hoarse but amused, his hand smoothing over your back, tracing your spine like a secret.
âDunno,â you mumble, âI think I saw God.â
Leon huffs a laugh. âYou talk a lot.â
You donât respond, just hum again, lost in the float of itâtoo far gone to be embarrassed, too fucked out to pretend youâre not still clenching around him. You feel him begin to shift, and what starts as a delighted little hum, turns to protest, a whimper slipping from your lips before you can think to stop it when you realise heâs pulling out.
âNo,â you whisper, eyes glassy, fingers curling weakly at his wrist like maybe you could keep him there. âWaitâLeonâmmph.â
His laugh is breathy, wrecked. âThat good, huh?â
You glare, or try to. Itâs weak at best. âDonâtâdonât be mean to me.â
âYouâre the one whining.â
âYou made me whine,â you grumble, but it comes out slurred, a little dreamy.
Leon grins like heâs won the lottery. Heâs still so close, and maybe the way his hands are smoothing over your thighs, up your hips, dragging the touch out like he canât stand to stop can make up for how empty you feel now.
He has no shame when he cups between your thighs again and presses two fingers there, slow and lazy, you jolt. âLeonââ
He hums, smug. âMessy,â he murmurs, fingers slipping between your folds. âLook at what you let me do to you.â
You shiver hard, half from oversensitivity, half from the way his voice drips with possessiveness. Youâre too blissed out to argue, too soft to push him away. Especially when he slides one of those fingers back in, just enough.
You gasp. âOhhhhh,â you sigh, all delight and dazed affection.
You squirm against him a little helplessly, make a face when you feel him push a little deeper, like heâs guiding whatâs left of himself back into you. Your head tips back with a helpless sound.
âLeonâwhat the fuck?â
He has the audacity to look smug. âWhat? Canât let any of it go to waste.â
âGross,â you whine, trying and failing to wiggle away. He keeps you right there, hands firm but fond, and you know, deep in your bones, that you donât really want to go anywhere but where he is.
He offers you a real clean-up after your thighs have stopped shaking, drives you back to your place and walks you to the door like a gentleman. It feels all too sweet for the type of night youâve had, and every part of you wishes this wonât be the last of them.
You half expect him to say somethingâto ask to come in, or kiss you goodnight, or at least promise to see you again.
But he just smiles. Nods. Taps two fingers to his temple in a lazy salute.
âNight, sweetheart.â
Then heâs gone.
And in the warm lull of dawn, with your sheets still cold and your heart beating somewhere between your ribs and your throat, you wonder what to do with the ache of him still lingering under your skin.
So when morning properly comesâsun high, coffee half-sipped, hair still tangled from the night beforeâyou call.
Just to see if heâll pick up. Just to hear the line connect.
It rings once.
Twice.
And then you hang up in a panic.
You curse under your breath. Call yourself a hundred kinds of idiot. Your thumb is still hovering over the screen when your phone buzzes in your hand.
Leon Kennedy is calling you.
Shit, shit, shit! You muster whatever dignity you have left, swallow, and answer.
âSweetheart?â His voice is all sleepy, a little hoarse with morning, makes your heart bloom with warmth. You sink deeper into your mattress at the sound of it, curl into your pillow like itâs his chest.
âYeah?â you say, like youâre afraid youâve imagined the whole thing.
âYou alright?â
âMhm.â
âYou called?â
âYeah.â
âWanna say something?â
You pause to worry your lip between your teeth.
ââŠNo.â
He huffs a quiet laugh. You can hear the rustle of sheets over the line, the sleepy shift of his weight. You picture him in bedâbare chest, tousled hair, phone pressed to his ear, eyes still half-lidded with sleep.
âAlright,â he murmurs.
And then he hangs up.
You stare at your phone, wide-eyed like you canât believe he really did it. Then you hit call again before you can talk yourself out of it. He answers right away.
âHi,â you say.
âHey,â he breathes, voice quiet and curious like a secret. âCouldnât stay away, huh?â
You roll onto your back, smiling helplessly at the ceiling. âNo.â
He chuckles, quiet and fond. âMe neither. Was already thinkinâ about you.â
You close your eyes. âI liked your voice just now.â
âYeah?â
âMhm.â
âI like yours too,â he says, voice thick. âSound all soft. Like I should be wakinâ up next to you.â
The room feels warm again, like the night before never ended, whatever figurative line that youâve drawn in the sand between you seems thinner than ever.
âMaybe next time,â you say softly.
Thereâs a careful pause. You both hang in the quiet, waiting to see if the moment passes.
âHave youâŠâ he starts, then clears his throat. âHave you eaten yet?â
You shake your head although he canât see. âNo.â
âYou want me to bring you something?â
The question bowls you over. Itâs too sweet, too easy. Like heâs asked it a hundred times before, like this is just what you do.
âYou donât have to,â you whisper, but the fond curl of your lips slips into your voice and gives you away.
âDidnât say I had to. Just figured you might want it.â A pause. âSomething hot and filling.â
Your throat closes up a little, an uncharacteristic flush to your cheeks. âYou mean pancakes?â
He huffs a quiet laugh. âAmong other things.â
âLeon,â you say his name urgently, too much bubbling to the surface all at once.
âYeah, sweetheart?â
âYouâre beingâŠâ You trail off, plucking at the fraying cuff of your sweater, too afraid to name it how it is, to ruin a good thing.
Another pause, you can hear the soft rise and fall of his breath. âI can be soft on you.â He murmurs, âIf you let me.â
You press the phone harder to your ear, eyes stinging. âYeah. Iâd like that.â
âGood.â He says finally. Then, âAny coffee left at your place?â
âOnly if you make it.â
He chuckles, low and fond. âIâll be there in twenty.â

likes n reblogs r very much appreciated <3
#spilled ink âËâčâĄ#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy#resident evil#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon kennedy x y/n#leon kennedy fanfic#leon kennedy fanfiction#resident evil fanfiction#sweeterthanficstion
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warnings: swearing, jealousy
notes: for those who followed me for dc, dw that phase hasn't left either. as always, comments and rbs are much appreciated, and my asks are open!
jason wasnât jealous. really, he wasnât. jason todd didn't get jealous. as a matter of fact, he had no reason to be. itâs not like the two of you were even dating.
but seeing you laugh at that guyâs every joke, touching his arms, and leaning in to hear him talk was starting to grind in his nervesâfor perfectly normal, non-jealousy related reasons, of course. you two had a job to get done, a new gang in crime alley to get intel on.
you let this sleazy asshat buy you drinks, sweet talk you, hell, you even let him tug you into a corner booth at the back of the bar. he was a greasy, unkempt sort of guyâthe kind you'd expect to own a banged up white vanâand he was very clearly packing some kind of heat. it drove a white-hot rage through him.
he couldn't hear what you two were talking about from where he was at the bar. damn you for deciding against coms tonight. but clearly whatever he said must've been the funniest thing to you'd ever heard.
"that your sweetheart or somethin'?" came a voice from behind him, and when jason turned it was another seedy looking guy.
"no."
"sure looks like it from the way you're starin' at 'em." the man gestures vaguely at the booth. the booze on his breath burns jason's nose.
"we're partners." at the man's unsavory smirk, jason clarified, "business partners. not that it has anythin' to do with you."
the man simply laughed, and it was a horrid, grating sound. "eh, whatever you say."
when the man stumbled away, clearly too drunk for his own good, jason glanced back to the booth to find that you were walking towards the exit with that thing. he had an arm wrapped around you, and you were leaning into him, still smiling at him.
and that did it.
the coil of frustration that had been tightening slowly but surely throughout this endeavor snapped all at once, and before he even knew what he was doing, jason pushed himself out of his seat and stalked his way over to you.
"we're leavin'." jason did everything he could to keep his voice even, but it still came out in a low growl.
"oh, tony and i were just-"
"no," jason's eyes could've burned holes through tonyâgod, even his name reeked of mafiaâas he spoke, "we're leavin'."
tony stepped forward, apparently ready to come to your defense. "oh, yeah?" he said with a forced machismo that he very clearly did not possess. "we got a problem, pretty boy?" his voice wavered slightly as jason's fingers twitched towards the knife hidden beneath his jacket.
"not if you leave 'em alone." the two of them stared at each other, sizing one another up in tense silence.
"jesus! fine!" you huffed. "we're leaving now, see?" you stalked toward the exit, hands stuffed into the pocket of your coat.
by the time you were both outsideâafter some minor threats on jason's partâjason had to jog to catch up to you. there wasn't even a glance spared in his direction, much less a 'thank you' for getting you away from that massive creep. it wasn't until you were a block away from the bar and jason's bike could be seen hidden and parked down an alley that you spoke a word to him.
"what the hell was that," you said, more statement than question.
"'what the hell was'-" jason was stunned, "i saved you from that thing at the bar is what that was!"
"we had a job, jason," you flung an exasperated hand into the air and stalked toward him, "so tell me what that was about."
"cozyin' up to a mark was not part of the job," he growled back.
"really?" you raised an accusing brow at him. "that's what this is about? what, were you jealous or something?"
in that moment, jason truly wished that he was wearing his mask to hide the red spreading from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. he wasn't jealous.
you couldnât help but laugh at him.
"shut up," he grumbled, bristling with discomfort. jason stared as you walked over to himâtaking stock of the way your hips moved, the way your eyes tracked his, the way you noticed everything about his reactions.
âall this because jason todd was jealous?â you faked a pout. âoh, poor thing.â as his ears got redder, you simply laughed harder. "let's get back to the hideout so we can figure out a new plan now that someone's fumbled this one."
"yeah, yeah," jason rolled his eyes, but there wasn't any animosity behind it. your laughter was infectiousâthe small upturn of his lips was more than enough proof of that.
"besides, maybe then i can show you just how little you have to worry about tony," your voice was still filled with mirth, and layered with something else: a promise. of what, jason wasn't sure, but he was almost certain it was something to look forward to.
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I just know that in the robinavitch reader x Jack whenever sheâs bratty she calls him uncle Jack.
Also Jack making Robby a grandpa is the funniest thing ever
Oooh and Jack after healing from the punch just calls Robby dad to piss him off. Cuz heâs gonna be his father in law
are you trying to kill međđđđđđ UNCLE JACK. making Robby a grandpa holy shitđđđđđđđđđ I think Robby would tell you go to home and youâd be like um no and obviously âdaddy we love each otherâ đ but jack comes closer to you and Robby looks like heâs gonna punch him again but he just kisses your forehead and tells you to go home and that heâll call you later because itâs time for him and Robby to talk about it. and you kind of look up at him weepy and when you leave youâre still wearing his shirt and then Robby and jack have to have the most awkward conversation of their lives. maybe after everything one day Jack cracks the âdadâ joke and he damn near punches him again đ but then Jack says something like Iâm not joking or talks about getting a ring and proposing soon and of course he sounds so sincere and happy finally and Robbyâs like. sheâs my daughter. GOD LET ME INTO THE WRITERS ROOM I BEG
#ohhh my god#uncle jack is haunting me#definitely canât call jack dad in this au#đź asks#jack abbot
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3rd entry of the blog and with a lot of charisk doodles, sketches, and art I made this year as well as another major random personal-ish yap sesssion.
Itâs surprising how despite liking the ship about as much as I do now, younger me never made charisk art, hell despite liking Undertale he hardly made any art back then either, my best guess was something likeâŠa lack of confidence.
Not just for ship art but for just about everything art related at the time, I think the funniest example I could think of wasnât fear back then of drawing ears cause me in my elementary school wisdom was afraid of screwing it up. But overtime I learned to stop being afraid of not hitting the nail on the head first try. And from there I slowly got better at art.
I think if younger me was half as confident in his interests and skills as I am now he would be making some of the same stuff as I make now probably, maybe not as good but the heart will be in the same place Iâd think.
On the flip side he might also ask why I still lowkey suck at bullet hells, a whole decade later.
âŠ
That would probably start an argument with myself.
âŠanyways
A part of me deep down thinks that my younger self would very much enjoy the art i make in the modern day, and be happy I got around to it at some point, as well as have interest and how my perspective on things have changed since then.
Thatâs all I really have to say for this entry, itâs kinda hard to reminisce on something that carries in my mind as more a vague feeling of previous inadequacy than an actual moment or experience.
But I think this was something Iâve wanted to think on for a while, even if it is in what is really just my personal diary attached at the bottom of some art I made a while ago
Either way, to whoever is reading this I hope you day is going great!
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the funniest thing about reading Geto Suguru x reader fics in English vs Japanese is that he's characterised so differently
Geto written by the English fanbase is depicted as this doting, loving person usually, and an even more loving boyfriend. worst case scenario, a fuckboy or some toxic guy at the max (from what I usually see).
while Geto written by the Japanese fanbase a lot of times literally portrays him as this devastatingly disgusting womaniser, sleeping with a ton of older women in their 20s/30s (as a high schooler), who lost his virginity at middle school by his university student tutor. a lot of times the reader is quite uncomfortable, uneasy around him or literally does not like him back, sometimes until the very end of the fic (at least he changes by the end I guess)
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to answer anon and also to spread the lawresco agenda:
i guess what i find endearing about lawresco is how tedesco is failwifeâą for lawrence. it is literally loser x loser ! (in a sense that-) LIKE tedesco is this âpopular cool guyâ that supposedly finds everyone hateable but he just had to ruin it by liking the weird quiet kid who doesnât want anything to do with him đ
like wdym out of EVERYONE u chose the depressed puppy with the most opposite ideals with you to have a pathetic crush on? and itâs not like he doesnât know that they donât share the same views. THE MAN IS LITERALY BESTIE WITH ALDO WOKATRON 3000 BELLINI!!! but tedesco just likes the man too much to even care.
bro is literally looking at him with heart eyes and begging for him to agree with his racist rants. and the funniest thing about this shit is that lawrence does NOT gaf!!! he is way too depressed to give one single fuck about tedesco đ yet tedesco still goes back to him like a lost cat.
ig the fics really helped intensifying my love for them too. young!thomas, a trouble maker and priest!tedesco who is just trying to live his life but have to fend for lawrence bc he is hopelessly in love with him. :D
that man would do anything to receive a pat on his head from thomas :P he is his achilles heel.
~
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Chapter 8: What do you mean Iâm basically married?!
Summary: Eijirou slowly but surely puts one and one together. Mostly slowly. But itâs getting there.
Also, Y/N gets an agency tour.
Warnings: Swear words, âsomeâ sexual tension here and there, but thatâs it!
First Chapter Master List Potato support
~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~
âGood morning, puppy dog.â An angel talks to him right after he opens his eyes, so obviously, Kirishima must have died in his sleep and this is Heaven.
When Kirishima thought about Heaven, he thought about something innocent, like your childhood puppy running towards you, your mom or your favorite grandma; well, to be fair, most of Eijioruâs family is still alive so that wouldnât make sense but⊠he thought about something sweet. Something cute. Not this lewd scene in front of him.
Donât get him wrong, heâs more than happy to live in this dream forever; heâd like to keep staring at Y/Nâs little pajama camisoles, one strap slowly falling off her shoulders, showing a bit too much of her beautiful boobs for it to be appropriate. He could stare at those bouncy things for eternity.
âHey, my eyes are up here.â Y/N giggles with that sweet voice and Kirishima looks up, probably blushing like a teenage boy seeing boobies for the first time, eyes sparkling with interest.
âDid you die too?â Kirishima asks as he slowly puts the fallen strap back to its place, his fingers lingering around her beautiful shoulders a bit too long, but it doesnât really matter; heâs dead anyway. He can do whatever he wants, right?
Okay, he would never do such a thing. Dead or alive, consent is really important.
âWhat are you talking about? You are alive. Do you not remember yesterday?â
Oh. Yesterday⊠uhmâŠ
âItâs a bit blurry.â Kirishima admits. âI was sleep-deprived and⊠not in a good mood. Then I went to see you. ThenâŠâ Kirishima jumps away like Y/N is an open flame and heâs about to burn to crisp. âIâm so sorry. I⊠I thought this is a dream? Sorry for touching you!â
Kirishima really wants the ground to open under him .
~âąđȘšâą~
âYou only touched my shoulders, Ei. What the heck are you so stressed about?â You giggle to yourself, putting your head back on the pillow and Ei does the same. You cheekily move closer until your noses brush; Eijirou sighs contentedly, his fingers playing with your hair, lost in his own little world.
âWhy are you so nice to me?â He mutters and you canât help laugh.
âIsnât it obvious?â
âBecause Iâm your hubby?â Eijirou comes to the conclusion and technically, he is⊠right? You nod. âWhat if I want to be more than a hubby?â You scrunch your face in confusion. What does he mean by that?
âI donât think you can be more than a hubby. Hubby is the⊠highest rank?â You say with utter confusion. âI think you need to eat, puppy. Iâll make you a nice breakfast and a little bento for work, okay? I can also make you a caramel macchiato. I might have stolen one of the machines and told Uncle he just forgot to order itâŠâ
Finally, Kirishima laughs, his sweet giggling melting your heart.
âYou did not!â
âOh yeah, I did! And you know what the funny thing is?â You mumble, barely able to hold your laugh. âHe fucking knows. He uses it every time he comes over. Sometimes he even makes a joke about it.â
âHe must really love you. I mean, Iâm not surprised.â Ei giggles and you canât help but blush at that.
âI mean⊠Iâm not that great.â
âOh, you are.â
âShut up or Iâll kiss you on the mouth.â You yell, completely flustered.
âCome on then.â Eijirou smirks and it sounds like a challenge so needless to say you leave a disgustingly wet kiss on his mouth, out of spite then jump out of the bed, taking the comforter with you. âWhat was that⊠hey, Iâm cold!â Eijirouâs face switches between being flustered and being extremely offended and itâs the funniest thing ever.
âSucks to be you, Ei baby!â You leave to start on breakfast, still giggling by the time you arrive to the kitchen. Your face is as red as a ripe tomato; oh my goodness, you actually kissed him!
Hell, you could get used to this.
~âąđȘšâą~
After breakfast you both make your way to your coffee shop. Eijirou looks like heâs having the time of his life; heâs skipping next to you like a child, his fingers entwined with yours like yesterday didnât even happen.
âYou know, I never eat before work. I just canât be bothered. But I swear the sky looks brighter with a full belly.â He mutters to himself with a massive smile on his face. âOr maybe itâs just the fact that you are with me.â Your heart has a hard time to comprehend all of the praise. You squeeze Eijirouâs hand. âWhat?â He looks back up at you, still pulling you forward but walking backwards like an idiot.
âYou could have anyone in the whole wide world, Eijirou.â You admit. âYou are sweet and gentle and so much fun. Handsome, perfect. You could date any model, actress or even a fellow hero, people who are on the same level as you. Yet here you are, hand in hand with a low-life barista whoâs too fucking selfish to be a hero, even though she has a license.â
âThatâs not really the reason why youâre not⊠a hero.â Eijirou says like he already knows you like he knows the back of his hands. âYou grew up with a hero, saw the red flags and you decided that this life is not for you. I havenât seen those red flags, you know. Not until I was in way too deep to give up. I won the biggest fight in the history when I was in my first year of high school. I got the fame, I got so many opportunities I didnât even know which one to take.â Eijirou finally stops and pulls you towards him. âI felt so cool, so fortunate, and to be honest, I would still choose this path but mostly because of the promise I made to myself when I was young.â
âSo you donât think Iâm selfish?â You look into his eyes, trying your best to find a lie, but there is nothing but pure adoration there, as always.
âY/N, your pure existence is like an energy drink to me. Every time I fall on the floor you take my hand and pull me up. Every time you smile I feel like that young kid again, full of desire to save, to be something more than a mere human being. Your kisses are like fuel to the fire, it keeps me going every time⊠I donât remember the last time I was so excited to go to work.â He smiles. You are half second away from crying. âYou donât need to fight baddies with your life on the line to be a hero. You donât need to be on the battlefield to save people. One smile, one kind retort is enough sometimes. Thatâs all it takes to change someoneâs mind about⊠things. Bad things. Y/N, you saved me from myself many times in the last few weeks. You are my hero.â
You canât keep the tears rolling down your cheeks. You canât stop yourself from leaving a tiny kiss on Eijirouâs lips right in front of your coffee shop, probably giving the hero agencyâs CCTV team the time of their lives by letting them see this in full HD.
âI canât wait to marry you.â You mutter without thinking.
âHey, I havenât even said the cool line I came up with in my head!â Eijirou retorts with a slight blush. âIt was something like⊠I donât care about anyone else but you⊠ahh it sounded so much better in my head. I should have said it with a husky deep voice or somethingâŠâ
âOh my god, just shut up, you himbo.â You giggle, snuggling into his chest happily. âFuck, I donât want to go to work.â
Suddenly, the coffee shop door opens and your boss comes out with a flustered look on her face.
âI donât care, you are already five minutes late! Chop-chop!â
âFucking cockblock.â You mutter into Eijirouâs shirt and he giggles so sweetly you almost melt into him.
âIf you are free tomorrow, do want to come over to my agency? Deku said heâll take over for the next few days and Iâll only need to boss the team around⊠we could hang out the whole day.â Eijirou squishes you so hard you can barely breathe and it says so much you donât even need to ask if heâs sure about this.
âOnly if you tell everyone Iâm your fiancĂ©, what about that?â
âThey wonât believe me anyway, but okay.â
Damn, you thought heâs going to be more flustered! What the fuck! Oh well, youâll need to think about other ways to fluster him now, heâs clearly immune to the wifey jokes.
âSee you tomorrow, then. Same time?â
âSame time.â
~âąđȘšâą~
âSo she kissed you several times on the mouth and you slept in the same bed. And you are telling me sheâs not your girlfriend.â Katsuki mutters with a passive-aggressive tone; Kirishima decided to give him a video call after he got into his office, completely freaked out over this new situation. When did this happen?! When did they become⊠something?! He swears he was only a boy with an unrequited crush yesterday. Then today heâs⊠heâs in fucking love. So in love he would marry Y/N on the spot without a second thought.
âDonât forget that they shared a bath.â Katsukiâs fiancĂ© adds, giggling.
Kirishima only sighs. No one understands him. No one.
âOkay, maybe, there is something. We definitely went past the friend zone yesterday. And today. But it was probably just out of pity, like I donât mean to talk down on myself, but I did look miserable.â Kirishima explains but he only gets and exasperated sigh as a response.
âKirishima shitty hair Eijirou⊠why is it so fucking hard for you to understand that the girl you are in love with fucking loves you back?â Katsuki groans. âYou are a hot as fuck hero, kind to a fucking fault, honestly, you are the fucking jackpot when it comes to a partner.â
âTrue.â Katsukiâs fiancĂ© adds. She gets elbowed in the boobs. Gently.
âI donât know, man. ItâsâŠâ Eijirou sighs. âIâm terrified. I promised to learn to love myself before I do anything. But Iâm not there yet.â
âIf I remember it right, she said sheâll MARRY YOU once you learn to love yourself or some cheesy shit like that. Technically, dating her is okay. Makes sense as well. You donât just wanna marry her out of the blue.â
âOh, I do.â Eijirou admits. âBut I get what you mean. Should I⊠ask her out, then?â
Katsukiâs groan is so loud he needs to adjust the volume on his phone before he gets deafened by his own best friend.
âDonât you fucking dare, you idiot!â
Now heâs really confused.
âWhat? Iâm getting mixed signals here?!â
âYOU ARE ALREADY DATING!â They both yell at the same time.
âSince when?!â
âSince your first date, probably even before, you fucking idiot! You literally proposed to her, do you remember? Sheâs your fucking fiancĂ©?!â
âWHAT THE FUCK, DID I?!â
âOh my god.â Katsuki is five seconds from exploding. âOkay. Eijirou. Forget what I just said. Just go with the flow. Let her decide what she wants to do. Even your stupid muscle brain will eventually realize whatâs going on once it⊠uhm⊠escalates.â Katsuki gives him a shit eating grin. âIn case it does and you canât wait to get home, you have a key to my apartment. Just change the sheets after. Condoms are in the drawer next to the bed. And under my pillow.â The call ends and Kirishima canât help but yell into the empty space.
âWHAT THE FUCK, KATSUKI?!â
~âąđȘšâą~
You barely slept tonight yet you are still so full of energy you are about to start jumping on buildings instead of using the pavement like a normal person.
Today, you are finally able to visit Eiâs agency; thanks to some villains acting up in the area, Ei had to constantly cancel your agency tour. It had been a week and youâve only seen him for a few minutes in the mornings; there were days when he managed to stay for a little longer, at least for long enough to have a proper conversation and a few short cuddles and while it makes you sad that you canât have him for a full day, you really appreciate him trying to give you attention even when his life is hectic. Honestly, heâs such a green flag of a guy.
You can already see him waiting for you by the coffee shop, drumming with his feet excitedly with a box of fancy chocolate and two coffees in his hands.
He clearly tried his best to look put together this morning; heâs wearing a dark red t-shirt, black joggers and fancy, branded sport shoes to finish the look; and if thatâs not enough for you to have a heart attack⊠his hair is in a fucking ponytail. And it suits him so well it should be illegal.
âWell, good morning.â You stare at this beautiful man, your eyes raking through every detail, from his toes to the top of his head. Eijirou looks at the floor with a slight blush on his face.
âIs it too much?â He mutters under his nose, eyes staring at a random tree nearby. Nuh-uh. You are not having it.
âKirishima Eijirou, look at me.â The redhead follows the order like a good boy. The moment your eyes meet, your whole face blushes. âFuck, you are handsome. Like, how dare you be this handsome? You should wear your hair like this more often. Actually, scratch that. Donât wear your hair like this, I donât need hundreds of women in your toes begging for a piece of you all the fucking time. I can get jealous easily. You donât want to see me jealous.â
The tension between you two is unbearable at this point, you swear you can see it with your own eyes; tiny sparks of red jumping back and forth between your eyes as Eijirou looses himself in the moment and stares at your lips for several seconds before he catches himself and takes half a step back to take a deep breath.
âIâm an extremely loyal person. I canât see⊠anyone⊠but you⊠we should⊠go in. Uhm.â He pushes the chocolate into your hands a bit too aggressively but seeing how flustered he is, you donât comment on it, and to be absolutely honest you are also kinda rendered speechless by his words.
You two make your way inside the massive building, Eijirouâs hand swaying back and forth right next to yours and you have to physically restrain yourself from lacing your fingers together.
You get a few weird looks by the entrance but Eijirou heads straight up towards the stairs with you, up three flights then he turns left into a massive hall where several sidekicks are enjoying their morning coffees. One of them, a young guy with gorgeous black hair and tattoos looks at you two questioningly first, but then his eyes focus on you and⊠well⊠this is not your first rodeo with men and you know that look.
âWow, Kirishima-san, do you mind introducing me to this beautiful lady?â
You sign exasperatedly.
âSheâs with me.â
Wow. If looks could kill this guy would be a meat pùté. And that rough, deep voice? Oh, hell damn. Now all the Daddy Riot jokes make sense.
⊠that was disgusting, Y/N. Behave yourself.
âYeah, I can see that.â The guy looks so confused by Eijirouâs sudden change of tone but by the look of it, this was all the meanness Eijirou had in him because he becomes a stuttering mess the next moment.
âI mean⊠sheâs here with me, sheâs⊠uhm⊠fuck⊠her name isâŠâ
Heâs such a himbo.
âHi, Iâm Y/N, Iâm Eijirouâs.â You wink at the young guy while you show the ring on your finger. âDo I need to spell it out or are you a clever boy whoâs capable to put one and one together?â
âHah, good joke. Is it Aprilâs fools or something? Is this a prank?â The guy laughs and oh how much you want to smack him in the face. The whole room is staring you now and by the look of it, most people are indeed surprised by this revelation but most of them definitely believe you. Itâs a good start.
âWould you like me to make out with him in the middle of his workplace to prove it, or are we all adults here and we can all move on from this? Also, why are you so surprised by this?â
The guy grins like he knows something. You hate his face. Literally hate it.
âWell, last week he was lovelorn over the barista next door not liking him back, sorry if seeing he has a fiancĂ© kinda makes me question whatâs happening here.â
âDude.â You roll your eyes. âIâm the barista.â You laugh wholeheartedly. âAww, you talked about me? Thatâs so sweet!â
âThis is so embarrassing!â Eijirou facepalms himself.
âSorry to interrupt but Iâm still confused by the ring part of the story?â The guy looks at you two like you both grew two heads.
âOh that? Yeah, well⊠none of your fucking business.â You give the guy another wink and cuddle into your hubbyâs side.
âJust what my lady said.â Somehow, Eijirou looks much more confident about the situation now and it does something to your heart, if you are being honest. âWanna see Dynamightâs office?â
âHell yeah.â You two make your way towards the end of the hallway that opens from the right side. You donât miss all the fond gazes coming from the other sidekicks; clearly, Eijirou is really loved by his team. Well, except by that fuckhead but once Katsuki is back youâll make sure he gets a lovely notice in the next few days⊠yes, you are petty like that.
âThat was⊠embarrassing. But fun. Iâm glad you are here.â Eijirou squeezes your hand that somehow ended up in his. Something is different in the way he acts around you; he looks less lost, less embarrassed and while you donât really understand what changed in the last few hours, you are glad it finally feels like you two are together.
âEi⊠Iâm really glad Iâm here too.â You smile at him as he opens the door to Dynamightâs office, which is also the Menaceâs office, or at least you think so as one half of the room is⊠well⊠girlier than the other.
âThis is the biggest office in the building.â Eijirou grins proudly. âAnd thatâŠâ he points at the window in the middle. â⊠is the window I was thrown out of.â
âWow, what a fun fact!â You giggle as you snuggle into his side. âAny more fun facts?â
âHmmâŠâ Eijirou contemplates for a while. âWell⊠uhm⊠there was one day when I barged in as I always do and Iâve seen Katsuki and his fiancé⊠heavily making out on that desk.â Eijirou points at Katsukiâs massive office table with a blush on his face.
Oh damn. Itâs time for some teasing!
âOh yeah? What were they doing exactly?â
âUhm⊠I just⊠told you? They were making out?â Eijirou answers, utterly flustered.
âWas she sitting on the top of it?â You ask as you make your way towards the star of the day; the cheeky desk. With one swift move you sit up on the tall desk with your legs dangling from the edge. Eijirou gulps loudly. âLike this?â
âYou are teasing me again.â
âIâm not.â You barely let him finish his own sentence, a little bit offended. âI wanted to but now I just⊠want you to show me where Katsuki was.â
You can see the moment when he realizes your intentions. You can see the moment his whole posture freezes as he stares at the empty space between your legs. He gulps once more and comes closer; you forget to breathe as he closes the distance and puts his two hands on the hardwood by your two sides.
âHe was like this. And she wasâŠâ suddenly, he touches your thighs and snakes your legs around his middle. Your whole body shivers and you canât help but make a little whine, mostly, from the surprise. âLike this.â
Something changes between you once again. The room is charged with so much heat you swear the walls are melting from it. Eijirouâs gaze if full of hunger but also full of restraint; heâs clearly fighting with himself to not take this further, which in some way, is understandable as having your proper first kiss on Eijirouâs best friendâs stupidly massive desk while acting up a scene is not the most romantic thing in the whole world, but you are way too pent up from all this tension, you are way too much in love with the man in front of you to care about silly details like that, you are out of patience, you are out of common sense and maybe deep inside you are just way too self conscious about your perfect boyfriend and you need some kind of affirmation that yes, you are needed, yes, you are enough, maybe his coldness when it comes to physicality put a lot of pressure on you and you started to doubt yourselfâŠ
Eijirou has no idea about all the bad stuff going on in your head yet somehow, he soothes your troubled soul with nothing but his gaze; his eyes rake over your lips, your chin, your chest, then he stops and stares at the connection of your hips and his own; his eyes darken into the color a ripe cherry and the world shifts again, the world melts, Eijirouâs fingers clench your thighs, it hurts, but itâs also⊠extremely stimulating.
Heâs so close, fuck, you can feel his ragged breath on your lips, itâs so warm and smells like coffee and chocolate and it really shouldnât be sexy, but for you, it is the hottest thing in the whole wide worldâŠ
âEiâŠâ you mumble into the almost non-existent space in between you two and Eijirouâs breath hitchesâŠ.
Then the MOTHERFUCKING DOOR OPENS.
âYEEP!!â The number one motherfucking hero Deku jumps so high he bumps his head into the ceiling.
You got cockblocked by the number one hero of Japan. Youâll put that on your CV.
âUhmâŠâ Kirishima plops you down on the table like you are nothing but a sack of potatoes. You canât really be mad it him for it; this situation is quite embarrassing. âI apologizeâŠâ
âThereâs nothing to apologize for.â Number two hero Shouto emerges from nowhere. âWhile I understand the common etiquette and that fooling around during your work hours is disrespectful but we tend to do the same quite often.â Shouto states with a straight face. âAlso, when in the office, we are getting payed by ourselves, hence you are not being disrespectful towards anyone but you. If you feel like itâs worth staying an hour longer to finish your paperwork, thatâs absolutely fine. I think about it as a self-allocated break.â
âShouto⊠itâs not the right timeâŠâ Deku mutters, but you jump into his words.
âI think standing in awkward silence is much more inappropriate than addressing the elephant in the room, Deku-san.â You state as you smile up at the tall, half and half hero. âI appreciate your effort. Thank you for being understanding. My name is Y/N and I am Eijirouâs fiancĂ©. Or girlfriend. Or something. Itâs a bit complicated to be honest.â
âIâm her Hubby.â Kirishima states and you canât help but smile at him with fondness.
âNice to meet you, Y/N. I like the color coordination between you two. Itâs really nice to look at. My name is Shouto. But in this office Iâm mostly called the half and half bastard or Candy Cane or Gay Lord.â Shouto states once again with a straight face. You like this man.
âNo one calls you Gaylord.â Deku giggles to himself.
âKatsuki does when you are not around. Apparently I was promoted from gay disaster to Gaylord so I guess thatâs a compliment?â
âSounds like a compliment to me.â You add with a smile on your face. Deku sighs.
âWith that said, we just wanted to check in on you, because of what happened the last time I didnâtâŠâ
âShe knows, you can speak honestly.â Eijirou adds quickly because the green haired hero looks a little bit uncomfortable as he speaks right now, probably not sure what can he say and what can he not.
âAhh, great!â Deku sighs. âIâm happy you listened to us and you are taking it easy when you can. I apologize you couldnât take a proper day off thanks to all the villains roaming around. I was really worried it will be too much for you, you know. I hate seeing my friends distressed. I want everyone to be happy.â Deku sniffles and Shouto gives him a comforting side hug.
âEijirou is in good hands.â He smiles at his hero partner.
âYeah.â He nods. âIâm a little bit sad you didnât tell us you have a girlfriend but life has been hectic and we havenât been able to meet up during our off days so I guess it makes sense.â
âIt happened quite quickly. Iâm still getting my head around it.â Eijirou answers honestly.
You talk a little bit more afterwards, then you two move to Eijirouâs office which is full of Crimson Riot memorabilia. Eijirou excuses himself for a toilet break after a quick tour; His exit is quite rushed which makes you wonder if he has any kind of⊠well⊠tummy issues but you decide not to comment on it. You plop down in the comfy sofa by the side of the office and try to wrap your head around everything; Eijirou was right about things happening a bit too quickly.
Oh well, itâs gonna be fine. You have a lifetime to get used to all the new things.
~âąđȘšâą~
âEijirou, for the love of god, why are you calling me from the toilet?!â Katsuki yells into the lonesome cubicle.
âYou were right.â Eijirou mutters. âAnd we almost⊠kissed. Katsuki, I was five seconds away fromâŠâ
âDo not fucking finish that sentence, gross.â Katsuki grumbles. âHow many times do we need to tell you that you are in a committed relationship before you realize you are basically married?!â
âBut it makes no sense, Kats!!â Eijirou yells, frustrated.
âYouâve been on a date. Several dates if we count your morning shenanigans.â Katsuki sighs. âYouâve been romantically embraced by her several times, youâve had a bath together and youâve kissed on the mouth. Youâve slept in the same bed. She was with you when you had the biggest meltdown of your life and sheâs still fucking there after. Now letâs add the fact that you two almost fucked in the office. How many hints does your French fry brain need to realize you are not single anymore?â
âBut sheâs too good for me!â Eijirou moans. âSheâs beautiful and sweet, sheâs everything I always wanted and sheâs Crimson Riotâs niece! Also, she calls me her homosexual buddy!â Eijirou adds proudly, because this one for sure will prove his point!
âExcuse me?â
âYou heard it right. He calls me a Hubby. So im sorry if I donât believe this angel is interested in me that way.â
âYou are an absolute idiot, Hair for Brains.â Katsuki yells into the phone. Eijirou needs to move the device from his ears to avoid hearing damage. âHave you googled what hubby means?â
âWh⊠why would I? Itâs obvious!â
âKirishima Eijirou.â
Eijirou pouts. Then googles hubby.
Definitions of hubby. noun. a married man; a woman's partner in marriage. synonyms: husband, married man.
âOh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.â
âGreat chat. Bye.â Katsuki disconnects the call with a sigh; Eijirou can hear his fiancĂ© giggling in the background.
He takes a deep breath and gets out of his hiding placeâŠ. So now what?
⊠To be continued!
(I swear you wonât need to wait for another 1 year and 1 month for the next chapter lol)
~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~âą~
TL: @porusuniverse @sixxze @unofficialmuilover @cheesenmax @readingfan @sammmm29 @pwinglez1 @happydragonfrog @magicalhandsherringclam @lovingnightharmony @theequeenofcurses @kirishima-eijirock @nerinefy @selfindulgenthoe @fierysplash213 @woofwoofwolf @touyasprettydoll @confused-smol-fan @themultifandomgirl @dark-witch-bitch @lotusstarr
#bnha x reader#mha x reader#Kirishima x reader#red riot x reader#kirishima eijirou x reader#kirishima eijirou x y/n#kirishima x y/n#kirishima x you#red riot x you
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Champagne Problems
Chapter 4. How Did It End?
Lionel/Reader
Summary: In 1989, an argument breaks out at Sinclair's wedding; in 1971, Lionel and Sinclair move to Cambridge to start university.
Word Count: 14.2k
cw: drug misuse (specifically cocaine), cheating
Read on Ao3 or the below the cut:
1989
You werenât surprised to discover that Sinclairâs wedding was taking place at a vineyard. It seemed exactly the kind of unnecessarily extravagant place a rich person would hire out for a wedding.
You couldnât help but wonder how much Natalie was contributing towards it. Between Helenâs millions and Sinclairâs millions, the Bryants had more than enough to fund the whole thing; you didnât expect Natalieâs job as a secretary paid nearly as well.
The whole thing had Sinclair all over it. It was in a vineyard in France, because of course it was, and most of the guests, you discovered as you mingled, were people Sinclair knew. Relatives, co-workers, friends, friends of friends, partners of all the above. They all knew Sinclair somehow, and had either never met Natalie, or like you had met her only briefly in the shadow of Sinclairâs energy.
Not for the first time, you wondered what Sinclair saw in her. She seemed nice enough, and she was certainly pretty, but she wasnât very interesting.
As you met more and more of Sinclairâs friends, you began to feel out of place, not because you werenât rich - he had plenty of normal friends - but because you werenât married. Sinclairâs last minute invitation had included a plus one, but youâd come alone, and you were feeling it.
You wondered if maybe this was, at least in part, the reason Sinclair had proposed to Natalie after only six months: all his friends were married. You heard countless stories about Sinclair being a groomsman; at 36, he was probably feeling like he was missing out by not being married. And Natalie, pretty and nice Natalie â she was good enough.
You hoped she really was good enough for him. Sinclair was one of the sweetest, funniest, kindest people youâd ever known, and you didnât want him wasting his heart on someone he was settling for.
You certainly werenât the only person who thought they were something of a mismatch. Numerous guests made comments about their strange pairing, and how quickly Sinclair had proposed.
âHas he had many girlfriends before her?â you asked one of Sinclairâs old university friends whoâd introduced himself as Nigel. âIâm a bit out of touch, last one I knew about was Emily.â
âEmily!â Nigel exclaimed. âNow thatâs a throwback. No, heâs had plenty since her. Poor thing, he was devastated by that one. Devastated by all of them, really, he throws his whole heart into every girlfriend he has.â
âIâm not surprised; he throws his whole heart into everything.â
Nigel nodded in agreement. âAye, that he does. Right, let me think â so you knew Emily. That ended in third year â he was balls deep in his dissertation when she wanted him to be balls deep in her.â
He guffawed at his own joke.
âOh, hereâs the kicker though â two weeks theyâd been broken up, he was still miserable of course, and she went and slept with his cousin.â
You choked on your drink.
âWhat, you mean Lionel?â
âYep, nothing gets you over an ex like shagging his nearly identical cousin, I suppose. Well, after that was Amiee, lovely girl she was â he was gonna propose, actually, but she moved abroad. Then there was Laura, now Natalie. No, wait, there was Alex just before Amiee. Anyway, I suppose this time he decided to lock Natalie down before anything went wrong.â
You grimaced. âThatâs not really the reason to get married.â
Nigel shrugged as if it were no big deal. âNot everyone gets married for true love. Sometimes itâs enough love.â
The door to the ceremony room was opened then, and an usher announced that it was time to take your seats.
Youâd been to a lot of weddings by now: like Sinclair, your friends around you were all getting married. And at every one, the ceremony room had had a groomâs side and a brideâs side. There was no such arrangement here: apart from the front rows reserved for family, anyone could sit anywhere.
You wondered if it was because there were very few, if any, guests for the brideâs side.
You decided to take a seat near the back. You didnât know anyone, and you were a last-minute invite; youâd feel a bit of an imposter ingratiating yourself into the swarms of family and friends.
A figure appeared next to you, and although you were staring off into space, you just knew who it was.
Maybe you had a connection. Maybe you recognised his scent. Or maybe you just recognised the energy of a self-absorbed arsehole.
âSinclair wants you to sit up front with the family,â Lionel said.
You reluctantly looked up at him.
Dammit. Why did he have to look so handsome in his three-piece suit?
You glanced up to the front of the room. Sinclair was hovering around the altar with his other groomsmen, but he caught your eye and waved you over with a grin.
âAlright, but heâs responsible if Georgina kills me.â
The corner of Lionelâs mouth twitched, as if he were trying not to smile.
âItâs been seventeen years, [Y/n]. Sheâs over it. Come on.â
You took a steadying breath, then followed Lionel up the aisle. Sinclair greeted you with a grin and a bear hug, as if seeing you at his wedding was the best thing that had happened all day.
â[Y/n], Iâm so glad you made it! Here, you sit with Mum. Mum, you remember [Y/n], right?â
You turned to where Helen and Georgina were sitting, Georgina at the end of the row on account of her wheelchair, and a seat next to Helen left empty for you. They were both in their sixties now, but neither of them let that stop them looking absolutely amazing: they were both completely grey, and while Helen had cut her hair short, Georgina had styled hers into an elegant âdo that had definitely taken hours.
If either of them held any resentment for you, they didnât show it. Helen stood to greet you, and you found yourself pulled into another bear hug.
âOf course I remember you! Iâm so glad youâre here, [Y/n]. I couldnât tell you how excited Sinclair was when he told us you were coming. Come, sit, sit.â
She practically pulled you into your seat. The seat on the other side was empty, and you really hoped Sinclair wasnât doing something stupid like putting you next to Lionel.
As Helen chatted away to you, out of the corner of your eye, you saw Lionel was standing with Sinclair, talking to him in hushed tones.
The three groomsmen were all dressed identically to Lionel, except that his pocket square was a different colour, denoting that he was the best man.
You smiled. Of course he was the best man. Who else would Sinclair have asked? He had more friends than you could count, but Lionel had always been his best friend.
To your relief, Lionel didnât sit next to you; when the ceremony began, he took his seat across the aisle from Georgina. You ended up sat next to one of the other groomsmen instead.
Sinclair certainly seemed happy. But whether he was happy to be getting married to Natalie or just to be getting married at all, you werenât too sure.
The wedding breakfast was, of course, extremely generous. Sinclair went all out on the food, and when he gave his speech, he used cue cards to stop himself going off on tangents, though you did see Lionel nudge him a few times to bring him back on track.
When finally the speeches were done and the food cleared away, it was time for the first dance.
Sinclair was very good at a lot of things, but dancing wasnât one of them. Theyâd clearly rehearsed it, and you could see Sinclairâs brow furrowed in concentration as he focused on remembering the dance moves and not tripping over Natalieâs feet.
The song ended, and finally you were free of the formalities. You grabbed a champagne flute from a passing waiter and practically ran outside, where several tables and chairs offered a reprieve and some ashtrays.
âNot sticking around to dance?â said a familiar voice as you took a much needed drag from your cigarette.
You turned and, sure enough, there he was.
âIâm not drunk enough yet,â you said shortly. âBut Iâm working on it.â
Lionel took an unoffered seat next to you. He rested his chin on his steepled fingers and looked at you.
âYou know, if youâre going to be friends with Sinclair again, youâre going to have to talk to me at some point.â
âI have nothing to say to you.â
Lionel scoffed.
âReally? Nothing at all?â
âIs there something you expect me to say?â
âNo, of course not,â Lionel said bitterly. âYou had nothing to say that night either. No explanation, just⊠gone.â
You laughed. âI thought you were intelligent, Lionel. Did I need to explain myself?â
âAfter what you did to me? Yes! I gave you everything, [Y/n]! And I wanted to give you so much more! But you just⊠left. One word, thatâs all you gave me. All our relationship came to was one bloody word. So, yes, a little explanation would have been welcome.â
You took a long drag from your cigarette and looked at him.
âWow. All this time, I thought you knew. I thought it would be so easy for you to connect the dots. But youâre so fucking narcissistic, you probably donât even realise you did wrong, do you?â You shrugged. âIâm surprised Sinclair didnât spell it out for you.â
Lionel sighed and rubbed his temple, as if the conversation were giving him a migraine. â[Y/n]... I am not a man who asks for things. I take them. But I am asking you now to give me an explanation. Please.â
âWow, the P-word. Did that hurt to say?â
Lionel slammed a fist on the table.
âDammit, [Y/n]! I loved you! I fucking loved you and you didnât even ââ
âIf you loved me, you wouldnât have cheated on me!â
There was a long pause as you stared one another down, both daring the other to break, but Lionelâs silence told you everything you needed to know.
You scoffed and sat back in your seat. âYouâre not even trying to deny it,â you muttered as you put out your cigarette in the ashtray.
Lionel groaned and held his head in his hands.
âHow the fuck did you know?â
âSinclairâs not stupid. He knew something was up. You really thought you could have it all, didnât you? You thought you could fuck around when he wasnât there and he wouldnât notice. You didnât even try to be discreet, because why would there be consequences for your actions? And youâre such an egotistical arsehole that even now, after seventeen years, you still canât figure out that you fucking around and my leaving you were connected!â
âOf course I thought about it, but I didnât think you knew! I didnât think Sinclair knew, much less that heâd tell you.â
âOf course he told me! He may be your cousin, but that doesnât mean heâs anything like you. He has morals. He knew what youâd done and what you were planning, and he knew he had to tell me.â
âFucking bastard,â Lionel cursed. âIâll have him for this.â
âNo, you bloody well wonât,â you said sharply, standing up as if to block his way. âNone of this is his fault. You cheated on me. You broke my heart. And, yeah, maybe I should have spelled it out for you. Iâm not squeaky clean in this. But Sinclair is, and this is his wedding, and you are not going to ruin it by blaming him for something that was entirely your fault.â
âWe could have worked things out!â Lionel shouted. He was on his feet now too, towering over you, though you showed no sign of being intimidated by his height. âI knew it was wrong, so I stopped! I wanted thisâ - he gestured around him - âand everything that comes with it. I wanted to give you everything, to be loyal, to live with you and share my life with you. I realised that I couldnât have it all, and so I chose you. I wanted to give you the world, I could have given you the world!â
âWe donât need anything from you, Lionel! Not your broken promises, not your money, nothing!â
He stared at you, brow furrowed. You shook your head, grabbed your drink, and stepped away from him as you took a long gulp of champagne.
Eventually, Lionel spoke.
âWhat do you mean, we?â
You turned back to him, frowning. âWhat?â
âYou said, âWe donât need anything from you.â Whoâs we?â
âMe, I meant me â I. I donât need anything from you.â
He approached you slowly, methodically, like â well, like a lion hunting its prey. You knew from the stern expression that you were fucked, and when you backed into the wall, you had nowhere to run.
â[Y/n]. Iâm going to ask one last time. Who - is - âweâ?â
âMeâŠâ
â...And?â
You glanced away instinctively, but you steeled yourself and looked him in the eye.
âOur son.â
- - -
1971
After your Paris trip, you were hit with some serious post-holiday blues. Not only did you have to return to boring old England, but you missed being in a bubble with Lionel. Youâd spent the entirety of Sunday in your hotel room, having sex and ordering room service, drinking and smoking, having sex again, and resting as much as you could before Lionel was ready to go again.
He hadnât been exaggerating â he really was like a wild beast that had been unleashed. Heâd been able to hold back before, when sex was just a fantasy, but now that he knew what it was really like, he couldnât get enough.
And he was adventurous. He wanted to have sex on every surface possible. On the sofa, in the jacuzzi - which was a godsend when your muscles ached - and even, occasionally, in the bed.
You were, of course, very eager too. But he really seemed to be aiming for the fifty times a day that lions apparently shagged when they were in heat. And Lionel was definitely in heat.
âIâm going to buy my own private jet one day,â Lionel murmured to you on the plane home â first class, of course. âThen we can fuck in midair while I fly you around the world for romantic getaways. Where do you want to go next? I hear Italyâs very romantic.â
You went straight home after landing, as you knew your mum would worry if you didnât, and on Tuesday you went back up to Windsor to see Lionel again.
âYou should just move in, [Y/n],â Sinclair said as he greeted you with a bear hug, as if youâd been away for months, not days. âLionelâs so grumpy when youâre not around. He mopes around like a lovesick puppy.â
âNo, I donât,â Lionel insisted. âCome on, [Y/n], letâs go upstairs ââ
âAww, câmon, you guys just spent a whole weekend together, and you wanna run off for some privacy already? Iâve been so bored here on my own!â
Sinclair flopped down on a nearby armchair dramatically.
âAnd you want to leave me alone again!â
You laughed at his endearing antics.
âAlright, fine, letâs have some lunch first,â Lionel agreed reluctantly.
Sinclair cheered, whether for food or company or both, but he was too distracted by stuffing his face and telling you every thought heâd had since last week to notice that Lionel was getting very handsy with you on the sofa.
After pulling his hand away from roaming under your t-shirt for the third time, you made an excuse about needing the bathroom, and snuck away upstairs.
Lionel got the hint, and he followed you soon after.
âChrist, I thought heâd never let us go,â he growled as he tugged your t-shirt over your head. âI could have stuck my hand in your knickers and he wouldnât get the hint.â
You giggled. Lionel pushed you backwards onto the bed and climbed on top of you, condom already in hand as he pulled your shorts down your legs.
âThose little booty shorts arenât helping. All that thigh on display, just waiting for me to do thisâŠâ
He placed his hands on either thigh and pushed them apart, then growled with desire when he saw his prize.
You tried to be quiet, conscious that Lionelâs bedroom was right above the sitting room youâd left Sinclair in, but he had other ideas.
âWhat do you know? My bed squeaks,â Lionel laughed as he pounded into you hard enough for the bed to start protesting.
Your response was a garbled moan, and Lionel grinned. He loved it when he rendered you speechless. It was usually then that he asked you questions - how does it feel? Can you feel my cock stretching you out? Do you want me to slow down? - just to hear you trying to formulate a response.
You burnt through condoms like wildfire. Lionel had to buy a new box at least every week, and you just knew that he was so confident and smug when he returned to the pharmacy yet again for more condoms.
The summer ended far too fast. Lionel never ran out of fancy places to take you (when you managed to convince him to put some clothes on and get out of bed), Sinclair never ran out of interesting things to tell you about, and it was only when you physically saw Lionel packing up that it really hit home that he was leaving.
âYouâll come visit me, right?â you asked him for the umpteenth time as he tried to squeeze all of his identical white shirts into one box.
âOf course I will, chĂ©rie. I canât promise how often, Iâm sure Iâll have a lot of studying to do, but Iâll come back as much as I can.â
âMmm, I donât think your cockâll let you stay away for very long,â you teased, coming up behind him to trace your hands over his shoulders as he continued folding shirts. âYouâll be going from fucking every day back to wanking every day, itâll be torture.â
Lionel smirked.
âWeâll just have to make up for it when I come back.â
You tried not to cry when he left. You knew he liked to be stoic and strong, and he told you lions donât cry. You were his lioness, as he loved to remind you, so you did your best to keep the tears at bay.
With many final kisses, hugs, I love yous and promises to call, you finally let him get in the car. You hugged Sinclair goodbye too, and he had no qualms about crying as he said goodbye to you.
It was three long, excruciating days before you had a phone call.
You almost fell down the stairs running when your mum told you Sinclair was on the phone.
âSinclair, hi! How was the move? How are you? Howâs Lionel? Is Cambridge boring? Itâs totally fine if you wanna come back.â
Sinclair laughed on the other end of the phone. âHello to you too, [Y/n]! Iâm great, and Lionelâs great too! Sorry we havenât called, it took ages to get the phone line installed in our flat. The guy literally just left, I called Mum first, then I called you. Lionelâs out, otherwise heâd be the one calling you, obviously, but I didnât want you to worry. Cambridge is so fun! This first week is just social stuff, thatâs what Lionelâs doing, heâs at the get to know you event for his course. Mineâs tomorrow. He misses you loads. So do I! I wish you could have moved with us, it would be so cool if the three of us were living together! Though weâd never get any coursework done I suppose, weâd be having too much fun. Lionel definitely wouldnât. Do you want me to ask him to call you when he gets in?â
âOh, yes, please!â you said, glad to finally get a word in. âMum said sheâs gonna get a second phone that I can keep in my room since Iâm gonna be using it so much. When do you guys start your classes?â
âOn Monday! We got our timetables yesterday, we actually have one module together! Most of my classes are 9 oâclock starts, but I donât mind, I like getting up early. It also means I have more time later in the day so I can do more societies! There are so many, I wanna join them all, but I donât think Iâll have the time. I know Lionel wants to join the Future Leaders Society. Thatâs for people who want to be innovators, and we both know what his ambitionâs like, and I bet heâll make loads of connections. He said I should join too but it clashes with the Rambling Society, and I really wanna join that one. Thatâs rambling as in walking, not as in talking a lot, I donât need a society for that, I know I do enough of it myself! Oh, wait, I think heâs just â hey, Li! Li, the phoneâs working! [Y/n]âs on the line now, do you wanna talk to her?â
After a moment or two, you heard Lionelâs familiar voice, and just a simple âHi, [Y/n]. Has Sinclair let you get a word in yet?â was enough to make you feel warm and comforted.
âOne or two. How was your event? Sinclair said you were meeting people from your course.â
âMmm, some very interesting people there⊠and some very uninteresting people. Itâs a curious mix. Some are clearly only doing Business because thatâs what their parents told them to do. I expect half of them will drop out by the end of the year.â
âLeaving only the best still in it, I suppose?â
âExactly. Iâd wager thereâll be no more than ten left next year, mark my words, and Iâll be top of the class, of course.â
âItâs not a competition, Li.â
âThatâs where youâre wrong, everythingâs a competition. I compete to be the greatest, Sinclair competes to be the loudest, and you compete to be the sexiest. Weâre all winning, of course.â
You smiled and glanced around to make sure your mum wasnât eavesdropping from the corridor again.
âI miss you,â you said quietly. âI keep thinking about you. Sleeping alone in my bed sucks.â
âI miss you too, chĂ©rie,â Lionel said in a low voice, similarly making sure Sinclair wasnât eavesdropping. âWanking into my handâs just not the same anymore.â
You giggled, blushing. âLionel! What if Sinclair hears you?â
âOh, please, like he doesnât do it too. I have to go, love, I really need a shit ââ
âCharming.â
ââ and I think Sinclair will burst if I donât tell him how this event went soon. Iâll call you tomorrow, alright?â
âOkay. I love you, Li.â
âI love you too, chĂ©rie.â
âTell her I love her three!â Sinclair called out in the background.
You laughed.
âTell him I love him four.â
Lionel sighed. âSinclair, she says she loves you four.â
âYay!â
âI canât believe Iâm sharing a flat with him,â Lionel said, but you could hear the smile in his voice. âBye, love.â
âBye.â
Lionel called you again at the weekend, and you could tell by his voice he was hungover. He must have really drunk a lot to be hungover since, apparently, lions donât get hungover.
Your mum got the second phone installed a few days later, and you were able to call Lionel with some privacy. He and Sinclair both already had lines in their bedrooms, and when Sinclair was out at his morning class and your mum was at work, Lionel called you with a very naughty idea.
âYou want me to what?â
âYou heard me. I want you to put your hand in your knickers and tell me how wet you are.â
âNot very, I just woke up⊠and youâre not here to wake me up with your wandering hands.â
âMmm⊠weâll soon change that, chĂ©rie. Youâll just have to be my wandering hands for me, wonât you? Letâs see⊠I usually start with touching your tits. I love feeling your nipples growing hard in my hands. Do you think you can make them hard for me?â
Lionel wasnât the only one calling you regularly; Sinclair called often to catch up. Sometimes you felt like you were getting a university education by proxy when he rambled on about what he was learning on his course, although you didnât really understand most of what he said. What you were more interested in hearing about, and what Sinclair was very happy to change the subject to, was a girl called Emily heâd met at one of his societies.
With no Lionel around to distract you, you became bored very quickly, so you asked your dad for more hours. He was trusting you more and more, and when he began scheduling you to open the cafe at 5 oâclock in the morning, you found it easier to stay at his the night before, rather than commuting in from Winchester â and so you found yourself spending half your nights at your mumâs house and half of them at your dadâs.
They werenât the only parents vying for your time. Helen and Georgina had apparently decided, as Lionelâs girlfriend, you were the stand-in for their sons at the parties and events they were always going to. You couldnât say yes to everything, as much as you wanted to â there was no way you could go to a fundraiser or whatever it was (you were never really sure) in London the night before you had to open the cafe at 5am â but you were always happy to attend when you could.
You were busier than youâd ever been. You had a full-time job now, working more hours in a week than you would have spent at school a year ago, and you had managed to find yourself caught between four parents in three different places â your mum in Winchester, your dad in Basingstoke, and Helen and Georgina in Windsor.
So when Lionelâs calls became less frequent, you didnât notice at first. You were busy, and so was he. Even Sinclair was calling you less, busy as he was with the five university societies heâd finally settled on, and of course the girlfriend he was so in love with.
Christmas break finally came, though your dad reminded you every time you mentioned it that there was no such thing as Christmas break, and in fact the cafe would be busier than ever at Christmas with all the shoppers about. He wasnât cruel, though; he let you take the weekend off when Lionel and Sinclair came home.
It was snowing harshly the day they were due back, and you spent the whole day worrying about their drive home. Georgina and Helen had the heating on and the fireplace crackling, and you were drinking them out of their hot chocolate, but you didnât feel truly warm until you saw Sinclairâs car coming up the driveway.
You rushed out to meet them, the snow crunching beneath your feet as you ran as fast as you could without slipping over. Sinclair had hardly turned the engine off when Lionel was climbing out of the passenger seat, looking adorably grumpy in his big winter coat, and within moments snowflakes began landing in his soft blonde hair.
His grumpy expression quickly melted away when he saw you. He grinned, and you practically jumped into his arms.
âThereâs my girl!â Lionel said with relief as he embraced you. âOh, chĂ©rie, I missed you so much. Come on, upstairs, letâs fuck.â
You laughed and hit his shoulder playfully as he set you back down in the snow.
âKeep it in your pants, mister. At least let me say hello to Sinclair first.â
Sinclair was wading through the snow around the front of the car, his eyes barely visible between the hat pulled low and the scarf wrapped around his face. He waved at you, then promptly slipped and fell.
âOh, no! Sinclair, are you okay?â you gasped, trudging over as quickly as you could to help him up.
âIâm okay!â came Sinclairâs muffled voice somewhere beneath his scarf. He finally stood up straight and pulled down his scarf to give himself some air to breathe. âHi, [Y/n]! You wouldnât believe how crazy the motorway was. I thought I was going to crash, like, ten times! But we made it!â
With a grin, he wrapped his arms around you as best he could considering his many layers.
âIâm so cold, though! Have Mum and Georgie got the fire going?â
âYes, get yourselves inside, itâs freezing out here!â
The three of you carefully made your way into the house, treading carefully so as not to slip (again, in Sinclairâs case). A couple of the housekeeping staff were taking Lionel and Sinclairâs suitcases inside, and the boys both groaned with relief when they passed the threshold and were met with warm, central heated air.
Helen and Georgina came over to greet their sons, and Helen fussed over Sinclairâs inability to go more than a few feet in the snow without falling flat on his face.
âHot toddies all around, I think,â Georgina decreed. âCome on, letâs get you two by the fire.â
Within minutes, you were all gathered around the fireplace with soothing hot drinks in your hands, Lionel and Sinclair sitting closest to the fire as they defrosted from their long car journey, and through chattering teeth Sinclair gave a blow-by-blow account of each near-crash theyâd experienced, and the two actual crashes theyâd seen.
Your hand was in Lionelâs, your chair pulled up close to his so you could rest your head on his shoulder. As Sinclair rambled on, every now and then, Lionel squeezed your hand or kissed the top of your head, and even occasionally managed to get a word in to contribute to the story.
When finally Sinclair finished his story and moved on to talking about his new girlfriend, Lionel decided it was time to unpack his suitcase. You stayed downstairs a little longer to watch the entertaining show of Helen quizzing Sinclair about when she was going to meet his girlfriend, then decided to make your way upstairs to check on Lionel.
You found him in his room, suitcase nearly unpacked, though the thought of finishing it was immediately forgotten when you walked in.
âGod, finally, I thought youâd never come up here,â Lionel growled with relief. He dropped the socks in his hands and crossed the room to pick you up by your hips and twirl you around to deposit you on the bed, causing you to squeal with laughter.
âClothes off, now,â he demanded, his hands already on his belt. âI have waited way too long to fuck you again.â
âHey, youâre the one who never came home to visit,â you pouted, though of course you obediently pulled your jumper over your head. âYou promised youâd come home for weekends, and you never did.â
âI know, chĂ©rie, Iâm sorry. I could never find the time. But Iâm here now, and I am going to remind you who you belong to.â
You shivered a little in the cold when your clothes were off, but Lionel quickly warmed you up when he pushed you onto your hands and knees on the bed and swiftly entered you from behind.
âFuck, I missed this,â Lionel growled as his cock slid up your walls. âPerfect⊠fucking perfectâŠâ
He gripped your hips firmly and wasted no time fucking into you hard and fast, as if he had to make up for the last three months.
Your hands clenched into fists as you held on uselessly to the bedsheets. There was no use trying to get any sort of purchase; the only thing keeping you in place was Lionelâs firm grip on your hips, pulling your body back towards him with every passionate thrust.
He was grunting with every thrust, and occasionally between grunts you heard a moan of your name. He must have known when your orgasm began to build, and being the arsehole that he was, he pulled out, leaving you hanging â but not for long. He flipped you onto your back and climbed on top of you, the promptly began fucking you again.
âI want you to look at me when you cum,â Lionel growled between gritted teeth. âI want to watch as you come undone. I want you to know that youâre mine.â
âI am yours, Lionel,â you promised. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer, and he promptly dipped his head to your neck to pull at the skin with his teeth. You whined at the sensation, and he looked up at you, grinning proudly.
âYes, you are. My fucking lioness. No one could ever â ever compare to you. Fuck. You take me so fucking well. [Y/n]âŠâ
He was like a man crazed. His hips were pounding into you, his fingers gripping your shoulders like you were his lifeline, and his lips and teeth were grabbing at every inch of your skin they could reach.
âI love you, Lionel,â you moaned as you ran your fingers through his hair and he moaned right into your ear.
âI love you too, [Y/n]. I love you. I fucking - nngh! - love you so much.â
Your orgasm was building up again, and this time, he was going to let you have it. He heard your moans increasing in pitch, felt your walls squeezing him, and he just continued mumbling words of affection into your ear as his cock kept pummelling in and out of your desperate, hungry cunt.
âThatâs it, good girl - good girl, cum for me. Cum around my cock, chĂ©rie. Mhm, thatâs it â Christ, youâre so fucking beautiful. So perfectâŠâ
You cried out his name as you came, and when he followed shortly after, your name sounded more like a roar.
He collapsed on top of you, panting, and the cold air stung against your sweaty skin. After a few moments, he shifted and pulled out of you to discard his condom in a nearby bin. He wrapped you up in his arms and took you under the duvet to cuddle, his lips ghosting your skin as you both laid there, content, warm in each otherâs arms and in the afterglow of sex.
âLionel⊠how would you feel about not using condoms?â
He didnât respond at first. He just laid there, his arms still around you, though you felt a stillness in him.
âI donât want kids,â he said firmly.
You shifted to prop yourself up on your elbow and look at him. He was looking at you with a frown, trepidation written all over his face.
âI was thinking I could go on the pill. I really⊠I really want to feel you properly, Lionel. I want to feel your skin against mine⊠and I want to feel you fill me up when you cum. Donât you wanna know what it feels like raw?â
Lionel looked you up and down hungrily. âYes, I do. Fuck, I do. I want nothing more. ButâŠâ He sighed and shook his head. âItâs too risky. I think itâs safer if we keep using condoms.â
âOkay,â you said, a little dejected. Youâd really thought Lionel would jump at the idea.
âIâm sorry, chĂ©rie,â Lionel said softly. He pulled you back in close to him and kissed your forehead gently. âBut I really donât want you to get pregnant, and Iâd be too busy worrying about it to enjoy it. You understand, donât you?â
âOf course I do, babe,â you said. You kissed his shoulder and looked up at him with a smile. âI just thought youâd like it, but if youâre not comfortable, thatâs okay. I just want to make you happy, Li.â
âOh, you do,â he said earnestly. He stroked a sweaty strand of hair away from your face and smiled. âYou have no idea how happy you make me, chĂ©rie. I love you.â
You kissed him, and though you intended it to be a gentle peck, he apparently had other ideas and kept his lips firmly pressed against yours.
You lazily threw a leg over his hips, intending to make out for a bit, but you felt something very familiar resting against his stomach.
You broke the kiss and giggled. âAgain? Already?â
Lionel grinned with pride. âIâm always ready for you, love.â
âMmm, clearly. Alright⊠but itâs my turn.â
Lionel opened his mouth to question what you meant, but all he let out was a groan when you adjusted your hips and sank down onto his cock, ready to ride him until the bed gave out.
- - -
The Christmas holidays went by far too quickly.
Your dad was right: there was no Christmas break at a cafe. But he was your dad first and your boss second, and heâd survived the Christmas period without you, he could do it again. Despite your insistence that it was okay, he point-blank refused to schedule you in for more than a few shifts a week.
You spent almost every day with Lionel, and it was like heâd never left. You spent a lot more time indoors than you had in the summer, not nearly going out as much, but neither of you had any cause to complain â it was just an excuse to spend longer in bed. When you did go out for some fresh air, somehow you gave Lionel cause to throw a snowball at you, and a snowball fight erupted, though a truce was quickly called when Lionel managed to pin you down in the snow and pepper you with kisses instead.
Christmas Day was unlike any Christmas youâd had before. In the past, you alternated Christmases between your parents, and it was always a small affair with just the two of you. This year, you were told in no uncertain terms that you would be spending Christmas with Lionel and his family â and so were your parents.
Your parents, who hadnât actually seen each other for years, not since you became old enough to travel between them yourself. Your parents, who hadnât met Lionel yet, and now they were going to meet the whole gang in one fell swoop.
They were civil with each other, but not friendly. They didnât really talk to each other directly, you noticed, and sat as far from one another as they could. Lionel charmed them, and Sinclair entertained them with his endless stream of interesting facts.
Yours werenât the only divorced parents in the house that day: Sinclairâs dad was there too.
âThis is really weird,â you said to Lionel quietly once you had a moment alone amongst all the conversations, drinks, cigarettes, games and more drinks. âMy parents, Sinclairâs parentsâŠâ
âWe just need my father and weâll have the whole set,â Lionel said casually as he lit up a cigarette. âGood thing heâs not here, though. Iâd probably punch him in the face.â
âHave you heard from him?â
Lionel shook his head and tucked his lighter into his pocket.
âNot a peep. Let it stay that way.â
Christmas Day was one thing; New Yearâs Eve was another.
You thought youâd been to some insane rich people parties already, but New Yearâs Eve was on a whole other level. Helen and Georgina hosted, as they did every year, and the party was apparently so insane that theyâd never let Sinclair and Lionel attend before as they were underage; theyâd always gone to a party at a friendâs house.
Even with all the time youâd spent at the mansion, youâd still never managed to explore every single room, and tonight, every single room was in use. Every guest room was made up, every random room that had no apparent purpose filled with rich people drinking, dancing and doing drugs. Marquees in the garden hosted even more revellers, and you were sure at one point you saw Harold Wilson snorting a line of coke.
You loved a party just as much as any other eighteen-year-old, but this was a lot. You hardly saw Helen and Georgina, as they were playing the roles of hostesses, and when you lost Lionel in the crowd, that was when you started to panic.
You looked for him everywhere, but he was nowhere to be seen. Just as you were considering calling a taxi to take you back to Basingstoke, you heard something between a sob, a moan and a retching sound coming from behind a bush.
You followed the sound to investigate and found Sinclair kneeling in the dirt, his head buried between two ferns as he fertilised the soil with the remnants of his dinner.
âSinclair, hey,â you said softly, kneeling down next to him to rub his back gently. âYou okay there, mate?â
âNo,â he groaned, his head still between the ferns.
With apparent great effort, Sinclair came out from within the greenery and sat back on his bum.
He looked awful. His face was pale, his eyes half-closed, and his wet face indicated he might have been crying too.
âDid you drink too much?â you asked, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly.
Sinclair shook his head.
âDid you⊠take something else?â
He nodded.
âAs well as drinking?â
Another nod.
âSinclair, please donât tell me you took coke.â
ââKay, I wonât,â he said miserably.
Who on Godâs green earth would possibly think it a good idea to offer Sinclair Bryant cocaine? He was already vibrating with energy most of the time, adding cocaine would probably give him a heart attack. Add alcohol as well, and you were just glad youâd found him conscious in the bushes and not dead.
âCome on, letâs get you inside,â you said. You put Sinclairâs arm over your shoulder, put your arm around his waist and tried to lift him. âCrikey, youâre heavy. Come on, you gotta help me out here.â
Sinclairâs response was a garbled moan, but he at least managed to push himself to his feet with your assistance. You readjusted your grip on him and did your best to drag him back towards the house, his feet stumbling along the way as he did his best to walk.
He tried to talk to you, but at some point between his brain and his mouth the words turned into mumbled nonsense. You, meanwhile, tried to get him up the stairs, but he decided that the middle of the staircase was the best place for a nap and tried to curl up to sleep.
You tried to drag him to his feet, but he was a useless lump.
âSinclair, you can sleep in your bed! Come on, itâs like, thirty seconds from the top of the stairs to your bedroom.â
You tried to pull him along the floor, but he was still too heavy. You werenât quite drunk, but youâd had enough to drink that your strength was not at its peak.
âSinclair, câmon, please,â you begged. âYou need to get to bed.â
ââSokay, I can sleep here,â Sinclair mumbled.
âEmilyâs waiting for you in your bedroom, donât you wanna see her?â
His eyes shot open then and he looked up at you.
âEmily?â
âYes, Emily. Come on, letâs go see her, okay?â
Sinclair nodded and, with the help of the bannister on one side and you on the other, pushed himself to his feet.
âThought she was in Cardiff,â he mumbled, his ability to formulate words apparently now rejuvenated after his short stair nap.
âNo, sheâs here,â you lied. âSheâs in your bedroom, so letâs get you there, okay?â
Sinclair smiled happily and nodded, letting you guide him down the hallway to his bedroom door. He tried to open the door, and when he couldnât get in, he moaned sadly, like a wounded puppy.
âShe locked me out!â
âNo, Clair, we locked our bedrooms to keep guests out, remember? Whereâs your key?â
He reached into his pocket and grinned victoriously when he pulled the key out. He tried to put it in the lock, but it wasnât until you placed your hand over his and held it steady that he managed to get the door unlocked.
He swung the door open with more force than necessary, and within a few steps, Sinclair was face-down on the bed.
You took the key out of the keyhole, closed the door behind you, and locked it again.
Finally, a moment of peace.
âYou said Emily was here!â Sinclair grumbled.
It was a short moment.
âYeah, well, I lied. I had to get you off the stairs. What if you threw up all over that carpet? You wanna explain that to your mum?â
Sinclair, who was now sitting up on the edge of the bed, folded his arms like a petulant child.
âI wanna see Emily.â
âEmilyâs in Cardiff, Clair. Youâll see her really soon, I promise. Now, letâs get you into bed. Do you think youâre gonna be sick again?â
Sinclair shrugged, still sulking.
You sighed.
âAlright, fine. Letâs just get you into bed. Where do you keep your pyjamas?â
Sinclair pointed at a chair in the corner, which had a pile of worn clothes on it, including a set of pyjamas, which you retrieved for him while he tried his best to take his shoes off.
âHere, let me do that,â you said. You put the pyjamas down on the bed next to him and knelt down to untie his shoes. âYou get your shirt off.â
Sinclair was quiet while you untied his shoes and slipped them off, and when you looked back up at him, he was still fully clothed, his arms folded protectively over his chest.
âSinclair. Shirt. Off,â you said firmly.
He shook his head. âCanât let other girls see me naked.â
You scoffed and shook your head incredulously. âSinclair, first of all, this is the least sexy situation Iâve ever been in. Thereâs a high chance youâll throw up any second, and if you do, Iâm sitting right in the firing line. Second, Iâm not other girls. Iâm [Y/n]. Lionelâs girlfriend. Remember?â
Sinclair looked at you properly, and seemed to recognise you suddenly.
â[Y/n]! Yeah, youâre [Y/n]. Lionelâs [Y/n]. He loves you loads, you know.â
You smiled. âYes, he does, and I love him loads too. And if he were here, heâd also be telling you to get into your pyjamas, so how about we give that a go?â
Sinclair nodded and started trying to unbutton his shirt, but his drunk and high fingers had lost all dexterity. He whined in frustration, so you took over, and to your relief he let you kneel in front of him and unbutton his shirt without complaint.
â[Y/n], do you think itâs too early to tell Emily I love her?â Sinclair asked as you continued working on his buttons.
âDo you love her?â
Sinclair nodded enthusiastically. âI do, I really do! I think I wanna marry her one day.â
âWell, itâs never too early to tell someone you love them, if thatâs what you really feel. But marriage â it might be a bit early for that.â
âLionel wants to marry you.â
You froze and looked up at him.
ââŠWhat?â
Sinclair nodded, grinning with excitement. âHe does! Heâs not gonna propose yet but says he wants to marry you one day. Ohmygod, maybe we could have a double wedding! You and Lionel, me and Emily. Wouldnât that be so fun?â
âThatâs⊠not something to think about yet,â you said firmly. âItâs too early for me and Lionel, and itâs certainly too early for you and Emily. Right, shirt off, pyjama top on. Reckon you can do your trousers yourself?â
âYeah, I think soâŠâ
âGood. You do that, Iâll find a bucket or something in case youâre sick again.â
You went into the bathroom and spotted the bin. You tied up the liner and took it out, leaving the bin empty and ready to catch any last bits of dinner Sinclair might have left to bring up.
Back in the bedroom, Sinclair had managed to get his pyjama top on and was lying on his back, his eyes closed, apparently having given up halfway through unbuckling his belt.
âJesus, Sinclair,â you sighed. âYouâre like a giant baby.â
You put the bin down by the bed and reached down to unbuckle his belt for him.
âPlease donât let Lionel walk in right now,â you muttered as you loosened his fly, trying carefully to avoid even lightly brushing against his boxers.
Sinclairâs eyes snapped open when you reached for his waistband.
âI can do it!â he insisted.
âOkay,â you said, raising your hands in innocence. âYouâre a big boy, Iâm sure you can take your own trousers off.â
You stood up straight and looked away as Sinclair tugged his trousers down. They went flying past you in the vague direction of his clothes chair, and you heard some more fumbling as he finished putting his pyjamas on.
âDone it!â he announced proudly.
 You turned back to him, and sure enough, Sinclair had managed to get into his pyjamas almost entirely by himself.
âWell done, Clair. Now to get into bed. Can you do that?â
âOh, Iâm an expert at getting into bed!â
He stood, pulled back the duvet, and practically dove under the covers. You laughed as he pulled the duvet up to his neck, leaving only his head resting on the pillows with a contented smile.
âVery good, Sinclair, well done,â you laughed. âNow, the binâs here in case you need to be sick again. How are you feeling now?â
âSleepy,â Sinclair replied, his eyes already closed.
âOkay, Iâll leave you to crash. And please donât ever take cocaine again, okay? You are the last person in the world who needs a stimulant.â
âSleeping,â Sinclair said insistently.
âOkay, sleeping. Good night, Clair.â
âNight, [Y/n].â
You took his key and locked the door behind you as you left. You managed to find some water in the kitchen and brought it back up for him, leaving it on the bedside table for when he woke up. Not wanting anyone to disturb him, you locked the door again and pocketed the key, making a mental note to let him out in the morning if he didnât have another key in there.
You were just thinking about going to try to find Lionel again when you were suddenly grabbed by the wrist by a figure moving at twice the speed of a normal human being and dragged down the hallway to Lionelâs room, where your kidnapper practically barrelled into the door to open it before throwing you face first onto the bed.
The door slammed shut, you heard a key turn in the lock, and you barely had time to turn around when Lionel was pouncing on you. His kiss was hardly a kiss, and more a very enthusiastic attempt to get his saliva all over your face.
âLionel, what ââ
âNeed to fuck you,â he growled desperately, his hands already fumbling with his belt.
âWhere have you been? I was looking for you for ages.â
âDownstairs. Legs, open, now.â
Before you had a chance to obey, Lionel grabbed your knees and pushed your legs apart, forcing your skirt to bunch up around your waist. He growled and pushed your knickers aside with one hand while the other lined his cock up with your entrance. He was about to thrust into you when â
âLionel, condom!â
He swore in frustration and practically threw himself across the mattress to wrench open the bedside drawer and pull out a condom.
Lionel had been wild and passionate since that day in Paris, but as he tore the condom wrapper open with his teeth, you realised this was something else. He was like a man possessed â or a man on copious amounts of cocaine.
You sat up and took Lionelâs face in both your hands, forcing him to look up at you from where he was trying to roll the condom down his shaft.
You looked in his eyes. The usually amber iris was hardly visible between his dark, wide pupils and the red of the bloodshot whites.
âLionel, how much cocaine have you taken?â
âNone.â
âDonât lie to me!â
âOkay, fine, two lines. But Iâm fine, chĂ©rie, I swear ââ
âDonât you chĂ©rie me. Iâm not fucking you if youâre high.â
Lionel groaned in frustration. âIâm fine, really. Come on, letâs just do it, it wonât take long ââ
He wrapped his arms around you and rolled you back onto the bed, kissing you sloppily again as he tried to align his cock with you again, the condom still only half rolled down.
âLionel, seriously, stop it. I donât want to fuck you like this.â
He groaned again, but he pulled away.
âIâm so fucking horny, [Y/n], Iâm about to burst!â
âThen have a wank, but we are not having sex right now. Iâm not aroused, itâll hurt, and youâre not thinking straight.â
âGah, fine.â
Lionel yanked the condom off his shaft and tossed it aside. He took his cock in his hand, and youâd hardly had chance to sit up properly before he came, his seed launching into the air by a few centimetres before landing on the bed.
âWould have been better in your cunt,â Lionel grumbled as he wiped his hand on the sheet.
âYeah, well, too bad. Was it you that gave Sinclair coke?â
Lionelâs head snapped up to look at you with a frown.
âIâd never give Sinclair coke, heâd have a heart attack. Why, has he taken some?â
âYeah, I found him outside mid-crash, vomiting in the bushes.â
Lionel swore loudly and tried to get up, but his trousers were still halfway down his thighs, so he ended up falling on the floor with a thump.
âHeâs fine, heâs asleep,â you said as Lionel tried to stand up again. âI got him into bed, despite his best efforts to sleep on the stairs.â
Lionel paused trying to do up his fly.
ââŠHeâs alright?â
âAs he can be. Heâs got water and a sick bucket. I even managed to keep him awake long enough to get him into his pyjamas, though I did feel like I was dressing a giant baby.â
Lionel sighed with relief. He finished doing his trousers up and began pacing around the room frantically, running his fingers through his hair.
âIf I find out who gave Sinclair cocaine, I am going to fucking throttle them,â he swore. âSome fucking idiot probably thought itâd be funny. Fuck! I shouldnât have left him alone.â
âYou left me alone too.â
Lionel stopped his pacing and looked at you.
âDid I? All I remember is I lost you in the crowd, the next thing I knew I was in the sitting room with a rolled-up tenner. I donât even remember⊠my mindâs blurryâŠâ
He pinched his nose and furrowed his brow as he tried to put the pieces together, but it didnât help that the drugs were still coursing through his system and his brain was moving too fast to stop and think.
âLi, can we stay in here for a bit? The party was getting a bit much for me anyway, and youâre probably gonna crash soon. I donât want to have to drag you up the stairs like I did with Sinclair.â
Lionel laughed at the thought of you dragging a half-asleep Sinclair up the stairs. He looked up at the clock on the wall, and through his blurry, drunken vision he could just make out that it was 11.40.
âI hope I donât pass out like Sinclair before 12. I want that New Yearâs kiss.â
You smiled.
âWell, Iâll tell you what. Iâll go and get you some water and something to eat. You stay here and⊠I donât know, run around in circles until the drugs wear off. Weâll have our New Yearâs kiss, and by the time you crash, youâll already be in bed. Unlike Sinclair, who crashed in a bush.â
Lionel nodded, and you could see by the way he was twitching and shifting his weight from foot to foot that he was still feeling the effects of the cocaine heâd taken, although the insane horniness seemed to have washed away when he came on the bed.
As you stood up from the bed and pulled your skirt down, you glanced at the stain heâd left.
âAnd if youâre feeling up to it, maybe change the sheets while Iâm gone. I donât fancy sleeping under a jizz-stained duvet.â
1972
A few days into the New Year, it was time for Lionel and Sinclair to go back to Cambridge. You didnât bother holding in your sobs this time, and Lionel gently wiped a tear from your cheek with his gloved hand as you hugged him goodbye.
âThere, there, love. Weâll be back before you know it. I promise Iâll call you as much as I can.â
You nodded, sniffling.
âI love you, my brave lion.â
He grinned. âAnd I love you, my fierce lioness.â
Lionel pressed a firm kiss to your cold lips and turned away to climb into Sinclairâs car. You turned to Sinclair and gave him a big hug.
âIâll call you too, [Y/n]!â Sinclair promised. âAnd I also love you. Platonically. I donât have a cute pet name for you, though.â
You laughed and pulled back from the hug. Despite the cold, and despite the sorrow at saying goodbye, he still shone with energy.
âWell, then, Iâm going to call you a golden retriever,â you decided, âbecause if a golden retriever were to stand on its hind legs and turn into a human, Iâm pretty sure it would just turn into you.â
Sinclairâs eyes lit up and he grinned. âI love that! Okay, we need to go, I want to get there before the sun goes down. Bye, [Y/n]! This has been the best Christmas break ever with you around. Thanks again for looking after me at New Yearâs, if it werenât for you I might have still been in that bush the next morning! Oh, and make sure you tell your parents I said bye, it was so great to meet them at Christmas ââ
Sinclair was interrupted by the sudden honking of his own carâs horn. You both looked over and saw that Lionel had leaned over to the driverâs seat to slam his hand down on the horn.
âSinclair, stop hogging my girlfriend and get your arse in the car!â he shouted, his voice slightly muffled by the car window.
âGo on, Clair, get going. Have fun talking Lionelâs ear off for the next two hours.â
Sinclair laughed and gave you one last hug. Lionel honked the horn again and kept his hand pressed firmly down until Sinclair had opened the car door and sat himself down.
You took a few steps back to give them some space to drive off, and with one last wave, they were gone.
Spring went by excruciatingly slowly, but at least you were busy. In late January, your dad opened a second branch of his cafe in Reading, so he was spending more and more time there, which meant leaving you to open and close the Basingstoke cafe on your own â so much so that he officially promoted you to assistant manager.
Sinclair and Lionel did come home for Easter, but it was over far too fast. You couldnât get away from work as much now that you were assistant manager, and the boys had to prepare for their exams soon, so you only managed to see Lionel fleetingly. Easter came early that year, so they were due back at university before their birthdays, which meant you didnât even get to celebrate with them.
Eventually, summer came around, and they came home. You managed to take some leave from work so you could spend time with Lionel, who was even more excited to see you than ever before. Helen and Georginaâs birthday party marked a year since youâd officially called yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend, and Lionel was actually humming to himself as he got dressed for the party.
âWhatâs got into you?â you asked with a laugh as you emerged from the bathroom, having finished your make-up, and heard his humming as he stood in front of the mirror.
âNothing. Iâm excited for the party, thatâs all.â
âYou explicitly told me last year you hate your mumâs party, thatâs why you invited me, to make it bearable.â
Lionel shrugged, but he was still smiling as he adjusted his bowtie.
âI have a good feeling about tonight, thatâs all.â
âHmm, I donât know⊠I think you know something I donât.â
Lionel turned to you with a cheeky smile and pulled you into his arms.
âAll I know is that I love you, chĂ©rie, and if you donât know that, Iâm not sure what else I can do to prove it.â
You giggled and batted his chest playfully. âYou charmer, you. Well, whatever youâre avoiding telling me, Iâm sure Iâll find out in due time. Now, I promised Sinclair Iâd help him choose the wine from the cellar. Why he wants my opinion, I have no idea, but Iâve learnt not to question him.â
âBecause asking him one question inevitably leads to a long-winded answer?â
âPrecisely. Iâll see you in a little while, okay?â
âAlright. I love you, [Y/n].â
âI love you too,â you said with a smile. You leaned up to kiss him, then left to go and meet Sinclair in the wine cellar.
Youâd been in the wine cellar only a few times. It was a strange place, completely cut off from the rest of the house, and when you closed the door behind you, it was easy to forget there was an entire house above you.
Sinclair hadnât got a headstart, apparently. The wine was all still untouched, and he was pacing back and forth, fingers fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.
âHey, Clair. Iâm here as promised. Not sure why you want my help with the wine, though, I know nothing.â
He froze when he saw you, his eyes wide in alarm, as if he hadnât been expecting you.
â[Y/n], hi. Um, I lied. I donât need your help with the wine. I need to talk to you⊠privately.â
You frowned and looked at him curiously. Whatever it was, it was clearly causing him great distress. You approached him and took his hands in yours, stopping his nervous fiddling with his shirt.
âWhatâs wrong, Sinclair? Is it something to do with Emily?â
He shook his head.
âNo. No, not Emily. Itâs about⊠Lionel.â
âLionel? What about him?â
âMaybe⊠maybe we should sit down.â
Sinclair led you to a corner of the cellar and you both sat down on the small sofa you hadnât even noticed before. It faced a low table, which you suspected was for tasting the wines to choose the perfect vintage.
Sinclairâs shirt sleeves were the next victim of his nervous fidgeting. He was leaning forwards slightly, his elbows resting on his knees as he stared at the floor, as if what he had to say was written down there somewhere.
âItâs two things, actually. One he doesnât know that I know, and the other⊠he told me, but he made me promise not to tell.â
âMaybe you shouldnât ââ
âNo, I have to,â Sinclair insisted. âI have to. I couldnât live with myself if I didnât. Heâd probably say Iâm betraying him by telling you, but⊠Iâd be betraying myself more if I didnât tell you.â
âSinclair, youâre scaring me,â you said in a quiet voice.
He sat back, took a deep breath, and looked at you. The devastation and fear in his eyes had every worst scenario running through your head.
âLionelâs been cheating on you.â
Your stomach dropped. You felt like someone had wrapped a fist around your heart and squeezed it tight. You didnât even know what to say, what to think⊠your first instinct was to refuse to believe it, to insist Lionel would never do that to you. But another voice in your head told you that it explained a lot of questions you had been asking.
Youâd told yourself he was becoming distant and calling less because he was busy with coursework, but if that were the case, why was Sinclair able to find the time to call you more regularly than your own boyfriend, when Sinclairâs timetable was much more hectic?
And youâd never understood Lionelâs reasoning for refusing to stop using condoms. You could go on the pill, youâd offered to several times, but heâd always said that he wanted to use condoms regardless. Because he didnât want you to get pregnant, he said, but the pill was just as effective.
âHow do you know?â you asked after a long moment of silence.
âI was suspicious for a while. Heâs been acting weird all year, but I always put it down to adjusting to university, to missing you, to going out too much. The first thing that made me think something was up was when I was taking the bins out and I went into his ensuite to empty his bathroom bin, and I saw used condoms in there. I asked him about it, and he said he â he wanks into condoms to save on mess. I believed him.
But after a while, I started noticing a pattern. I always empty the bins on a Thursday, because the bin men come on Friday morning, and I would see the condoms on the top, like heâd just put them in there. Then there was a bank holiday, so the bin day changed, so I emptied it on a Wednesday instead, before I went to play cricket. And there were none in there. I thought that was weird, like he was wanking weekly, on a Wednesday. Who schedules that?
And then I had an awful thought. What if he was using them every week at the same time⊠because he was seeing someone every week at the same time? Specifically, while I was at cricket. I thought there was no way that was true. He loves you, he wouldnât do that to you. But then he said something. We were at the pub with some mates, you know, boysâ banter. And he made a joke, he said, âI wank every day and thatâs still not enough.â But I thought that couldnât be right, because I always found the condoms on the Thursday, and there were only ever one or two. Not that I counted, but the only other things I ever saw in there were empty loo rolls and beard hair. You know, they stood out. Iâd have noticed if there were seven.
And so I⊠I decided to investigate. To see what he was doing on Wednesdays while I was at cricket. One of the guys on my course does photography as a hobby, he likes to sit in trees and photograph birds. So I asked him if he could try and see into our flat.â
Sinclair reached into his jacket pocket with a trembling hand, and pulled out a folded piece of paper.
âHe gave me a few pictures. Some of them were - um - more explicit. Far more of him than I ever wanted to see. But this one showed enough to prove what was happening without, you know, showing too much. You donât have to look at it, I just thought if you wanted proofâŠâ
You snatched the photo from Sinclairâs hand before you changed your mind.
The sound you made then would haunt Sinclair for years to come. It was the sound of his friendâs heart breaking, of all your hopes and dreams for a future with Lionel smashing to the ground.
Sinclairâs friend had a good camera. It was Lionel, alright. Your boyfriend. He was sitting naked on the sofa, an expression on his face youâd seen many times â one you thought only you had seen. A naked woman was kneeling in front of him, her head in his lap, and his hand was on the back of her head.
âIâm really sorry, [Y/n],â Sinclair said quietly.
You shook your head, eyes still glued to the photo, as if looking at it longer would make it stop existing.
âNot your fault,â you said, your voice cracking slightly.
âI should have said something⊠shouldnât have believed him about the condoms.â
You scoffed. Fucking condoms. No wonder he was so insistent on using them. Well, at least he was keeping you safe from STDs while he fucked other girls.
âWho is she?â
âI donât know. I asked my mate to go back the next week and see if he could get a picture of her face. And he did, but⊠it was a different girl.â
Your fist clenched, and the photo became crumpled in your hand.
â...A different girl?â
Sinclair nodded, his eyes wide with trepidation, as if worried what you might do next.
âA different â what, does he fuck a different girl every week?!â you shouted, throwing the screwed-up photo on the floor.
It was one thing if it was another girlfriend. If heâd fallen in love with someone else but didnât have the guts to break up with you, that was one thing. But if it was different girls, that meant he was just shagging them, and that made it worse, because it meant that putting his dick in something wet was more important to him than you were.
âI donât know, [Y/n], Iâm sorry, we broke up for summer that week so I wasnât able to ask my mate to go back.â
âDid you confront him about it?â
âNo, Iâve not told him that I know. I wanted to speak to you first. I thought you should decide what to do.â
âBut you came home weeks ago! Why didnât you tell me before?â
âIâve been trying, but itâs so hard, [Y/n]. I kept changing my mind whether to even tell you or not, and whenever I did decide to tell you, I couldnât get you alone. Youâre always together. And youâre so happy together, I didnât want to upset that. But when he told me about tonight, I knew I had to tell you.â
âTonight?â you said with a frown. âWhat about tonight?â
You knew it. There was something Lionel wasnât telling you. Something that was making him excited for a usually dreaded occasionâŠ
âHeâs going to propose.â
The fist that had gripped your heart earlier seemed to squeeze even harder.
Lionel was going to propose. He was going to get down on one knee, in front of everyone, and ask you to swear your fidelity to him, when heâd spent the better part of the last year sticking his cock in a different woman every week.
You stood up and prepared to storm out, but you heard Sinclair calling after you.
â[Y/n], wait ââ
You paused at the bottom of the stairs and looked back at him, tears in your eyes.
âThank you for telling me, Sinclair. You did the right thing.â
You left before he could convince you not to.
- - -
Sinclair usually dreaded his mum and Aunt Georgieâs birthday party, for all the reasons Lionel had told you last year. But this year, he was dreading it more than ever before.
He couldnât get you alone again. He wanted to ask you what you were going to do, but you were nowhere to be seen, and he knew you hadnât said anything to Lionel, because he was still buzzing with excitement for his grand proposal.
Everyone was in on it and, not knowing anything about what Sinclair had told you, Helen and Georgina were excited too. They both adored you, and they were sure youâd say yes.
Sinclair adored you too, of course. He wanted you to be his sister so badly. Okay, technically if you married Lionel youâd be his cousin-in-law, but Lionel would always be his big brother in Sinclairâs mind, so as far as he was concerned, if you married Lionel, youâd become his sister-in-law. And in some ways, he already saw you as his sister. You were definitely so much more than just his cousinâs girlfriend.
That was what had made the whole thing so difficult for him. Heâd promised Lionel not to tell you about the proposal, but he knew heâd never forgive himself if he let you be proposed to in front of all those people without knowing the truth.
He hoped you could work it out. He certainly hadnât told you in order to break you up. But you had to have all the facts before you made such a life-changing decision.
When his mum and aunt started herding guests into the main entrance hall, Sinclair knew it was time. He tried to find you, but among the crowd it was impossible. He didnât catch a glimpse of you until you, he and Lionel were being herded up to the landing that overlooked the room.
Lionel had planned it all meticulously. Sinclair stood with the two of you on one side, his mum and aunt on the other. They quieted the crowd and Aunt Georgie spoke as if she were about to give a speech. On cue, Sinclair moved over to stand by his mum, leaving you and Lionel alone.
Georgina announced that Lionel had something to say, and suddenly all eyes were on the two of you. This was it. Your boyfriend, the person you loved and trusted most in the world, the person whoâd betrayed you so utterly that looking at him now just made you want to cry â he was about to propose to you.
In front of everyone. Sinclair, Helen and Georgina, whoâd taken you in as their own. Extended family, friends and friends of friends, they were all gathered together, all listening attentively as Lionel addressed them.
âA little over a year ago, just before the end of term, I had my future planned out. I was going to go to university, get a first class degree in Business Studies, and become a great businessman. Iâm still doing all those things, of course; watch this space.â
A polite titter came from the crowd, and Lionel flashed a grin.
âBut I hadnât accounted for one thing. I hadnât considered that one day, Iâd sneak out of college for a smoke and find a strange girl Iâd never seen before trying to peek into the windows.â
He looked at you with an amused smirk.
âI know what youâre all thinking â no, it wasnât the boysâ changing room.â
Another polite laugh from the crowd.
âIt was the Art classroom. You see, we had some original Monet paintings on display, and she wanted to see them. So I, never one to deny a beautiful woman in need, helped her sneak in to see them.â
Yeah, and you wonât deny any woman in need of dicking down, you thought bitterly.
âShe left before I managed to get her number, but with the help of Sinclair hereâ â he gestured to his cousin, as if anyone was in doubt who he was â âI managed to track her down. She, it transpired, had been looking for me too, and was only too happy to let me take her out for a drink. The rest, as they say, is history.â
Lionel turned his attention fully to you. You were trying to keep your face blank, but you had no idea how you were coming across, only that Lionel was undeterred.
â[Y/n], despite my assertions that it was impossible, you really have tamed this lion. I have every intention of becoming the great man Iâm destined to be, but I can only do it with you by my side.â
The crowd gasped as Lionel dropped to one knee. Somewhere, you heard a camera clicking. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring box. He opened it to present you with a sapphire-encrusted ring, and in another version of events, you might have marvelled at how beautiful it was.
â[Y/n] [L/n]⊠will you marry me?â
His speech was still ringing in your head. I had my future all planned out⊠Iâm never one to deny a beautiful woman in need⊠I managed to track her down⊠Iâm destined to be a great man.
It was all âIâ and âme.â It was all him. His life, not yours; his plans, not yours. Most of the people in the crowd didnât know you, and nothing Lionel had said had told them anything more.
It wasnât about you â and maybe it never had been.
You took a steadying breath.
You loved him. You hated him. You didnât want to break his heart. Heâd already broken yours.
You only had one thing to say before you turned and left.
âNo.â
- - -
1989
âOur⊠son,â Lionel repeated slowly. âYou were⊠you were pregnant.â
âI didnât know then. I only realised a few weeks later.â
âOh, well, thatâs alright then!â Lionel exclaimed sarcastically, waving his arms in a wild shrug. âItâs not like you had my phone number or my address. Itâs not like I was trying to call you for weeks afterwards. Itâs not like you could have fucking told me!â
âWould it have made any difference? I didnât want you in my life, and you made it perfectly clear you didnât want kids.â
âJust because I didnât want to be a father, doesnât mean I wouldnât have! You had no right to make that decision for me, [Y/n]! I mean⊠Christ. How old is he now? Sixteen? Does he even know?â
âNo. He knows who you are only because youâre famous. He has no idea I ever even knew you, let alone that youâre his father.â
âDoes Sinclair know?â
âSinclair? No, why would he know?â
âWell, he knew about everything else apparently.â
âNo, Sinclair doesnât know. I cut off contact with him too. It fucking sucked, because heâs one of the best people Iâve ever met, but I couldnât bear to look at him, not when he looks so much like you.â
Lionel collapsed into a chair and buried his head in his hands.
âChrist. I canât believe this.â
âIf it makes you feel any better, youâre not on the birth certificate, so you donât have any responsibility for him. If something happened to me, he wouldnât show up on your doorstep.â
âBut we used condoms!â Lionel said with a frown, pulling his hands away from his face to look at you, bemused. âWe always used condoms.â
âCondoms break,â you said with a shrug. âEven your fancy ones.â
Lionel swore. He stood up again and began pacing around, running his fingers through his hair. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to either of you, you were being watched from a window, although your argument was muted to your observer.
âTheyâre really going at it,â Georgina said with concern. âMaybe we should intervene. I know Sinclair wanted to get them talking, but I donât think this is what he hoped for.â
âHeâs your son, George, you might be better equipped,â Helen replied, leaning over her sisterâs head to peek outside.
âYou know I want to, but Iâll feel ridiculous trying to calm him down when Iâm all the way down here now. I know itâs his day, but maybe we should send Sinclair.â
Helen glanced over at her son, who was currently trying to balance chatting away at some friends with stuffing his face full of food from the buffet.
âI think youâre right. We just need to make sure nobody follows him outside. Tell you what, Iâll get the microphone and keep everyone distracted. You get him outside and guard the door.â
âDeal.â
Within minutes, Sinclair had abandoned his conversation and his plate of food, his aunt was parked in her wheelchair in front of the door, and his ears were being subjected to one of the worst arguments heâd ever heard.
âYOU JUST SAID I MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE, SO WHAT DOES IT MATTER?â
âIT WASNâT YOUR CHOICE TO MAKE, [Y/N]!â
âWhat the fuck is going on out here?!â Sinclair demanded. âThis is my wedding! Itâs supposed to be the happiest day of my life! Why are you having a bloody screaming match?!â
âTell him, [Y/n]!â Lionel said to you with a sneer. âTell Sinclair the truth. You wonât tell anyone, will you, Sinclair? Considering you didnât tell me for seventeen fucking years why the only woman Iâve ever loved rejected my proposal in front of our entire family!â
Sinclair held his hands up innocently. âIt wasnât for me to tell! Wait â tell me what? Is there something else?â
Lionel stared daggers at you. You sighed and crossed your arms.
âI have a son,â you admitted. âWe â we have a son.â
Sinclairâs jaw dropped. He looked between you and Lionel like you were playing tennis.
âWait â you mean you and Lionel have a son? Li, you never told me ââ
âThatâs because I didnât fucking know, you nitwit!â Lionel snapped. âYou wanted to know why weâre having a bloody screaming match â thatâs why. Because [Y/n] just told me that we have a bloody son.â
Sinclair stared at you as if youâd just grown an extra head. âWell⊠whatâs his name?â
You laughed and shook your head.
âLionel hasnât even asked that yet, and itâs the first question out of your mouth.â
âYou didnât ask his name?â Sinclair said to Lionel with a frown.
âI donât want to know! I donât want to know anything. This isnât changing anything. Clearly, [Y/n] thinks theyâre getting on just fine without me, so they can continue that way. I donât want to know his name, his school, his birthday, nothing. What I would like to know, however, is why my wheelchair-bound mother is sitting in front of the door like a fucking bouncer.â
Lionel pointed towards the door; through the window, the back of Georginaâs chair was visible.
âSheâs making sure nobody follows me out here. So we could have a private conversation.â
You sniffed and stood up straight.
âIâm sorry, Sinclair. Youâre right, this is your day. I ruined your mumsâ birthday party in â72, now Iâm ruining your wedding day. I should leave.â
You went to walk past him, but Sinclair placed a hand on your shoulder.
âIâm sorry, [Y/n]. I thought if you and Lionel talked, you could work things out. At least put the past behind you.â
You shook your head.
âSinclair, youâre sweet. But this is too messy to just talk it out. Um, but before I goâŠâ
You took both his hands in yours and looked at him seriously.
âI know my opinion doesnât matter, and you can make your own choices, and I might be totally wrong about this. But for what itâs worth⊠you can do so much better than Natalie.â
You gave him a kiss on the cheek.
âBye, Clair. I really hope you prove me wrong.â
You didnât give him a chance to respond, and you didnât give Lionel a second glance. You opened the door back into the reception, and Georgina moved her chair out of the way. You locked eyes for a second, and you hesitated.
âGeorgina⊠Iâm really sorry I ruined your birthday. Would you tell Helen for me? Iâm â Iâm gonna go, before I ruin this wedding too.â
Georgina didnât say anything, so you left.
You were at the reception desk, waiting for a staff member to call you a taxi, when Sinclair came jogging up to you.
â[Y/n], wait!â
âSinclairâŠâ
âJust⊠one thing. Would you tell me your sonâs name? I know Lionel doesnât want to know, but Iâd really like to, if thatâs okay with with you. And maybe one day, if he does want to know⊠I could tell him. So he wonât have to bother you.â
You smiled. How was he always so sweet? It was his wedding day, youâd just blown up at his cousin and told him you didnât like his new wife, and he was still concerned about you.
âHis name is Cole.â
âCole. Cool! Cool Cole, ha ha. Um, I donât suppose we can still be friends, can we?â
You shook your head, tears welling in your eyes. âNo, Sinclair, Iâm sorry. I want to be⊠and maybe one day we can. But youâre too close to Lionel.â
Sinclair nodded his head sadly. âI understand. Well⊠it was nice seeing you again, [Y/n]. Despite the argument, I am really glad you came. If you ever need anything - and if Cole ever needs anything - just come find me, âkay?â
You nodded. Sinclair kissed you on the cheek, and with a sad smile, he turned back to the party.
#alan rickman#sinclair bryant#lionel shabandar#gambit 2012#close my eyes 1991#champagne problems#lionel x reader#John Gissing looks like a 30s/40s Lionel to me so I figure I'll just use him#since Lionel in the film is much too old lol
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I was on the fandom wiki page for secretive plotter and it's actually not the worst thing I've ever seen? like thes information is shockingly all based on canon it made me feel so validated. especially the appearance section, I had almost forgotten that other people are capable of perceiving his actual appearance and not the fanon version because it happens SO RARELY. theres still inaccuracies and mistakes but it's mostly solid and nothing will make me hate a description that starts like this

some things I roll my eyes at like when they extrapolate things that were true about yoo joonghyuk and apply that to him even lacking evidence but whatever I can see why they did that. even when its wrong (they put 0th turns info there as if he lived that. he didn't.)
in the more interpretation based sections of personality there is the overuse of the word "jealous" which is the fanon characterization seeping in but okay, whatever.

LOVED that they noticed he and wenny king are pals. its one of the funniest and fascinating things about sp
there is actually one interesting new thing I learned

fun!! didn't know that!! hey so reading this was worthwhile after all
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