#the funniest thing about it is that he's like

[joyflameball]

Sega from what I've seen both Frontiers and Sonadow Generations have been good. For the love of god you need to keep on this roll. Keep making just banger games that make everyone who previously made fun of Sonic go "oh shit this is actually really good." Keep getting "VERY POSITIVE" or "OVERWHELMINGLY POSITIVE" on Steam reviews. And then spend 3 years making the next game, and make it absolutely spectacular. Make it the greatest game you've ever made. Put your entire goddamn soul into writing, animation, game design, everything. Make it one of those Obviously Excellent pieces of art that everyone just collectively agrees is amazing. And in the middle of the game have Sonic offhandedly refer to himself as bisexual and watch the internet explode

[artbyblastweave]

I remember when I was a teenager my father got into it with a conservative college buddy of his at a barbeque on the topic of abortion. And he got frustrated and said, look, if the government ran a service where you could take a baby under a year old that you decided you didn't want anymore for whatever reason, and they'd take the baby from you, and they'd just chop it's head clean off right then and there, what would you do about that, politically? And the other guy was like, well, I'd join an armed insurgency or something. To which my father said, well, in that case on some level you clearly don't actually believe that a fertilized embryo is morally the same as a baby or you'd be part of an armed insurgency now.

And, you know, in hindsight there are obviously holes in this line of reasoning you can comfortably drive a hummer through, a focus on being pithy to the exclusion of good theory of mind. But regardless I think "what if the government ran a tax-subsidized baby-decapitation service" has gotta be in the top ten funniest things to say out loud to a person when you're both at a barbecue

[roosterforme]

Geriatric Millennial | Rooster x Reader

Bradley loves all things '90s. You don't completely understand it, but you appreciate his spirit.

1000 words

Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

Check out my masterlist for more!

There were certain scenarios that became normal over time when you were in a relationship with a man more then ten years your elder. Sometimes you didn't understand certain movie references. Slang words and jokes occasionally went over your head. He and his friends would often reminisce about trends you'd never witnessed. But Bradley never made you feel bad about it, and you never called him an old-timer unless you were joking.

You were used to these things, but nothing quite prepared you for what you saw when you got home from work. Bradley was relaxing on the couch in something that looked like a bright blue, full body straitjacket with some random vintage headphones on his head.

"What the fuck?" you muttered, inching closer when you realized he was listening to music and hasn't spotted you yet. You glanced around the room, trying to locate the source of disturbing chattering sound that just started, and you tripped over a hard, black ball.

Bradley looked up at you with a smile. "Hey, you're home early." He quickly stood in his weird, fleece outfit and leaned in to give you a kiss, but you leaned away.

"What on earth is happening here?" you asked, standing frozen as he pulled his headphones off.

"What are you talking about?" He looked puzzled by your words but not by all of the weird things in the living room. 

"I'm talking about what you're wearing. And the robotic voice!"

"Oh," he laughed. "This is just my Snuggie."

"Your what?"

He glanced down at himself. "My Snuggie? I found it in a box of my stuff from highschool."

You were still so confused. "What's a Snuggie? And what is that weird sound?"

When his gaze fell to something fuzzy and brown on the couch, you jerked back in shock. "You mean my Furby?"

You glared at the critter and it's enormous, evil eyes. "Is that one of those things from that '80s Gremlins movie you're obsessed with?"

He barked out a laugh like you'd just said the funniest thing he'd ever heard in his life. "Baby, no. It's not a Gremlin. It's just a Furby. But imagine if Furby manufactured replica Gremlins... Would have been fascinating." It was starting to sound like he was speaking a foreign language. "I was just listening to Chumbawamba on my Discman and playing with my pogs and my Tomagachi. I literally forgot the Furby was even here."

You were sure you were gaping at him like he had two heads as you reached up to run your palm across his forehead. "Do you have a fever?"

"Huh? No, but I did eat a Kudos bar I found in the box, so I might potentially have an upset stomach later. But it was worth it."

After you pinched the bridge of your nose, you asked, "I'm sorry, but what did you say you were listening to?"

"Tubthumping. By Chumbawamba. You know it, don't you? Pissing the night away, pissing the night away. I get knocked down...." He looked at you in wide eyed shock. "You don't know that song? How is that possible?"

You didn't want to tell him that Chumba whatever wasn't a word. And neither was Snuggie. Not when he looked so adorably baffled. You stroked your fingers across his forehead and down his cheek as you shook your head.

"No, I don't know that song, because I'm not forty like you are. And you look kind of alarming in this thing." You pinched the fleece fabric and pulled it away from his body.

"It's my Snuggie," he muttered. "It was from an Infomercial."

"I don't know what that means." He gasped and you started laughing. "But I would love to sit down with you while you explain it to me. As long as you don't make me eat something from the late 1900s."

He took your hand in his bigger one and and led you toward the couch and the demonic looking Furby. "Okay, but first, you need to listen to this CD. Because Jake told me Chumbawamba is a guilty pleasure, but it's actually really good."

About twenty minutes later, you were wrapped up in the Snuggie, enveloped in softness and Bradley's lingering body warmth. "I love this thing," you told him, burying your face in the fleece. "And yes, Chumbawamba is good, but I like Hoobastank better. And I'm really sorry I accidentally kicked your Magic 8 ball across the floor."

He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and kissed your cheek as you skipped a track on his Discman. "That's okay. Hey, do you want to learn how to play pogs? The best part is, I'm not sure there are actually any rules at all."

"Sure," you said with a shrug. "Why the hell not? As long as you lock that Furby away and never let it out ever again."

"Heard."

[discofama]

Was thinking about our Pineses different styles of comedy and I realized Mabel's and Ford's are kind of the same in a way.

Originally was thinking of who of the 4 of them was the funniest for me, and I decided it's Dipper. I can't express how much I've laughed with him. Or more like, AT him, i realized. Unlike the others, most of the comedy that involves him is at his expense. Almost every character thought bad things of him at the very least (including Ford! In his first impressions in Journal 3) and the way he's so insecure and awkward and weird, and that almost everybody bullies him, is just so funny to me. God forbid me lmao.

Stan's comedy is more aimed at how shameless he is with his criminal activities and kind of fucked up stuff he says, like "finally a good reason to punch a teenager in the face!". Most of the times the jokes that involve him are simply funny because they're sudden, mean (him to others, which feeds the kind of humor that involves Dipper and a variety of other minor characters) and/or unexpected of someone as rough as him, like crying at a telenovela. Of course we also laugh AT him many times just like we do with every character, but the fact he is so shameless, unlike Dipper, makes it very different.

Mabel and Ford are funny just because they're both insane and have extremely weird interests. You could say it's also laughing AT them but this feels of a different nature than laughing at Dipper. So i'd say it's more like laughing WITH them, like we usually do with Stan. What's funny (in the strange sense) is that Ford did share Dipper's awkwardness when he was younger, but as far as I remember, it was never played for laughs like it was for Dipper. Mabel and Ford both are reckless, absentminded and go extra on everything, which is very amusing, but they also have a riddiculous taste in everything. For example, Mabel likes toothpaste and Ford likes human blood. Mabel bedazzles her face and Ford sets it on fire. They use grappling hooks and jump out of windows epically. They are shameless too, but while Stan is unabashedly greedy and his comedy usually intentionally harms others or their property, they unabashedly just are their own strange person from start to finish. And the result is pretty funny.

[vaguely-concerned]

lucanis reading romance novels out loud to spite in the seventh attempt to explain to him what sex is and spite bemusedly being like 'wow you people really get up to that shit I thought that was just a bit mortals did or something'

[bucksboobs]

Buck: Tommy used to make me come like this *specific thing only tommy did*

Eddie: maybe he can teach me

Eddie going to Tommy for advice on how to fuck Buck is the funniest outcome for Buddie actually.

Eddie: so like how do I…?

Tommy, already grabbing his hand: so if you hook your fingers to the left and go in circles (when he starts dripping you know you’re there) then flick your tongue over the seam of his ballsack repeatedly while massaging his thigh with your free hand, he cums in about six minutes and he won’t get it up again for another hour.

Eddie: thanks bro!

[curtins]

do you think toji and/or sukuna are into looksmaxxing. i need to know.

choso is probably near to tears just thinking about it - he's having a hard time adjusting to all these new trends anyways, wdym there's a whole section of it now?

i feel like gojo just flexes his "natural" looks, nanami doesn't even know he has them until someone comments on your post saying "you won/we're so back."

omg hellaurrr i really pulled out a notebook to jot these down (this isn't even a joke, my keyboard was messing with me but i was worried i'd forget to answer properly) but now i may transcribe my notes on jjk + looksmaxxing 😭 🤭 u always send me the funniest things

gojo once found a wrinkle on his forehead and cancelled class for the day. now he sleeps with a cucumber and a jade roller. when he gets drunk, he claims that a kpop idol dm'ed him for advice on clear skin, never says who though (#liar) and in high school he used a self tanner once because suguru once likened him to an overgrown, pale musty mushroom. ended up with orange streaks everywhere. does pilates but will never admit it. wishes that in another life he was an influencer just so someone would send him pr packages because its nice to get presents in a box. definitely calls himself an icon.

geto thinks essential oils are a part of looksmaxxing so he feels better on the inside. literally floats around like a walking bottle of sandalwood and lavender. tried growing facial hair because he thought it would be great to accentuate his jawline, but someone called him a discount samurai and he had to cancel the cult meeting that day. thinks looksmaxxing isn't just physical but also a state of mind, so he carries around books like crime and punishment to look smart. thought that wearing glasses would make him look smarter and had a phase where he wore fake ones and not one person complimented them.

sukuna secretly has a stash of protein powder. it goes in everything, smoothies and sprinkled over raw meat. says that he doesn't give a flying fuck about these things, but used to read old, ancient scrolls about medieval skincare. got uraume to make him a scrub from red spider lilies and wondered why his skin was burning sooo bad afterwards. sharpens his nail with blades and claims its better than just normally clipping your nails, but he always ends up scratching himself bad. has a collection of sheet masks. has the best eyebrows of all time and knows this (gets them plucked). has an anonymous #hater tiktok account where he comments rude things under gojo's posts.

nanami. you are soooo right, he probably doesn't know or give a fuck about these things because he's actually employed. but hates the idea of a ten step skincare routine for he thinks that the best routine is simple: cleanser + moisturiser + sunscreen. believes in the power of a neutral toned wardrobe with clean, tailored silhouettes. but there are photos of him out there from when he was 18 years old, with black eyeliner on his waterline. shoots down everyone's ridiculous looksmaxxing attempts. jawline exercises? just chew your food properly. botox and fillers? try eight hours of sleep before reaching for the needles. want to post a glow up journey? well, just focus on yourself and move in silence. kind of gojo's biggest opp for all this, and being so clean and put together effortlessly...

[smallpwbbles]

The more sonic fans around the internet i see get official adhd diagnoses, the more i think the venn diagram of 'genuinely enjoys sonic as a character' and 'has add/adhd' are two concentric circles (could not say which of the two the bigger circle is tbh....)

-also a sonic fan with add,,,

(.....anyways im thinking about how that question of what sonic does in his free time is possibly a moot point tbh. all his time is free time, mans does what he wants- what he wants just happens to generally be helping people and blowing up eggman's things. and going fast)

HELPDBDHDN, like I’ve always wondered out of hyperfixation I’ve had Sonic is the one that hasn’t gone away since I was a kid, like I am INSANE for Sonic and anything that has his face on it

I actually wanna make an animatic of that one dude who made a vid after taking his adderall and he just quotes the funniest shit in the funniest way, “Milo get your 📀 in the house” lives rent free in my mind. But it’s Sonic because I need to project my ADHD on him now

I like to think Sonic doing anything that isn’t that is so foreign to anyone who isn’t Tails and they genuinely get bewildered when they see it

[missriddle03]

heyyy baby how are you i loved you matt story anddd i have request but for chris like reader did video with the triplets car video and like fans start to notice how he is always looking at you like that AND THANK YOUU

hello!!!! im good thanks for asking, wbu? tysmm for saying that :) this took me longer than i thought but seeing as you are my first request ever i wanted to do it properlly. hope u like it <3 @lovetaylorrussellgrr

Title: Favourite girl

parings: fem! reader (y/n) x chris sturniolo

small synopsis: have a look at the request

time to read: 6mins and 30 seconds (average)

word count: 1,449k words

warnings: none :) just a cute fluffy read

song recommended: favourite girl by justin beiber (loosley based on it) p.s i've not listened to it but it came up on yt and thought it would be good to use it for this

The moonlit sky was a pretty sight to see but you and the triplets didn’t see much of it as all of you were getting ready to film a car video. Nick sat in the back next to you whilst Matt and Chris were in their usual seats.

“Hello, hello, hello!” Nick spoke to the camera. You were looking at your phone but put it away once you saw they were recording. “So, we haven’t got a proper idea of today’s video but we have asked you guys to ask us some questions! even though most of them are about y/n”

To that, you let out a small laugh. “I can’t help if I'm a fan favourite”

Chris turned his attention to you and smiled. “You’re everyone’s favourite” Silence followed his statement until Matt decided to talk. “We each have pulled up our instagram responses and now we are going to go through them together” Nick picked up a pair of glasses and put them on his head, he found a pair that was heart shaped and handed them to you as you placed them onto your eyes. Nick took his phone out and took a quick selfie with you. “Okay! First question, who did y/n meet first?” Matt asked as he put his phone away.

A huge smile formed on Nick’s face waiting for your response. You hugged Nick before you spoke, “I met Nick first in school but then he introduced me to Chris and Matt last. Chris and Matt had different classes to me and Nick” you explained. Chris took his phone out to read a question, “Would y/n rather kiss Matt or Chris?” He turned his head to you staring. “There is no way I’m answering that” you protested. Your eyes darted between Chris and Matt but stopped at Chris before rolling your eyes and looking at your phone. You swore you heard Chris say something but if he did it was too quiet.

“Waffles, french toast or pancakes” you grinned at the reference. All of a sudden Nick began shouting. “NO! Not again..I am not dealing with this. This was dealt with and forgotten about, we will not be bringing that up again. NEXT QUESTION!” All three of you laughed as Nick said that. “Okay..okay, so three words that describe you”

Nick spoke first, “Awesome, funny and stylish” You nodded your head in agreement. “I think I’m cool, maybe funny too and the best driver ever” Matt said.

“No cause like, I tried passing my test but I failed on one thing because a car zoomed past me and I was meant to see it but they failed me cause I didn’t go but I can’t go when a car is going over the speed limit” you said. “They should have passed you,” Matt replied.

“I would say I’m actually the funniest, the hottest and a Pepsi enthusiast” Chris put his fingers up like mini finger guns and winked, you couldn’t help but laugh. Meanwhile, Matt and Nick stared at each other again. “How are we related to this guy?” Matt joked. “I guess I would say I’m creative, weird and very smart” You finally answered.

This went on and on for a while, constantly answering questions; “Okay, are you all single?” Matt spoke. Nick and Matt immediately nodded their heads not wanting any edits about them hesitating. “Yes I am single and I like the single life” you answered. Chris was hesitating his answer but all of you knew he was single. “Yeah I am too..for now”

“Is there someone in your life that you like then?” You asked him, he rubbed his hands together and looked at you. “Yeah perhaps there is but she don’t like me like that I don’t think”

“Well if she doesn’t then she doesn’t see how great you are, she obviously isn’t worth your time” you told him. A twinge of jealousy overcame you but you didn’t know why you felt that way, why were you jealous that Chris likes someone? Why was his confession so important to you?

“That is all we have for today’s Friday car video. We hope you enjoyed it,” Nick spoke to the camera. Chris was looking at his hands as he was picking his fingers, Matt took the camera and gave it a big kiss before turning it off. “Do you wanna stay over tonight?” Chris asked you. Matt offered her a snack that was in his car door, you took it and accepted the offer to stay over.

The next week, you told Marylou that you were going to surprise the triplets with a pizza seeing as you went to the UK with your friend for a week and didn’t tell them how long you were going away for. Matt’s car was in their driveway and once you gained the confidence you walked over to the car knocking on the door. You saw them all look at you before opening the door, “Did someone order a pizza?” you said with a smile. You placed the boxes in the car seat next to Nick and then you saw Chris open his car door and give you a hug. “y/n! There’s my favourite girl. I missed you, how have you been?” he asked. He didn’t let go..not just yet. “I’ve been good I wanted to surprise you guys cause I didn’t tell you that I was going to the UK”

Now he let go of the hug once he saw Nick and Matt get out of the car. They each gave you a smile and all of you went into a group hug, “The pizza I got you guys was a meat feast pizza, I made sure I got 2 because I know Nick doesn’t like too much meat on his pizza”

“Thank you so much y/n, I love you,” Nick said. “I’ll wait inside so you guys can finish your video” You said to the guys. Chris waved at you and the boys went back into the car and began eating the pizza.

They shortly came in and you opened your tiktok, your inbox being flooded with tags in edits. A majority of them were you and Chris edits. You decided to open one up, the audio was ‘idfc’ by blackbear. It contained video clips of when you’re talking and Chris looks at you, moments where you’re just standing and he is still looking at you. Every moment where you smiled and he smiled straight away. You swore he never looked at you that much, you remembered some of the videos used were from the video you featured in last time. All the comments were saying how oblivious you were and how you must be dating each other. You looked at another clip and it was dated for today, posted only half an hour ago titled ‘how he talks about her’

“Y/n is not in this video today as she is away with her friend in the UK. I’m not sure when she is getting back but she deserves a little break. I know we have had a lot of messages asking how she is and when she will be in our videos next but we don’t have a definite answer for you guys. I do wish that she was in this video with us but like I said she deserves a break. She works so hard, harder than anyone I know and I’m glad she’s taking some time off even if it’s only for a little while”

You never told them how long you would be away for, when you did go on a mini break you received a message from Chris nearly everyday. You were brought back into reality when Chris sat down next to you, with a smile on his face. “Watcha watching?”

You turned your phone off, “Nothing important,”

“So, I was thinking we could maybe watch a movie. Not sure if Nick and Matt will but we could always have microwave popcorn. Only if you want to of course”

“Sure..why not,”

You weren’t really watching the movie, just focusing on the thoughts in your head. You didn’t want to jump to conclusions but were you the girl he liked? Maybe you felt something for him too…just maybe.

He gave you the popcorn bowl, “I wasn’t sure what you wanted so I mixed the sweet and salted together” Chris was on your opposite side, manspreading with his hands in his jogger pockets. You swore you saw him occasionally looking at you, after all he did say you were his favourite girl.

“Are you okay?” he asked you.

“Yeah, Chris, I am,”

also..should i do a prt 2 the confession???

[sadsnek]

I think one of the funniest things in the sonic fandom is that the characters debut anniversary is treated as their birthday/vise versa almost impling that there birthdays take place at some point during that game.

June 23 1991

Eggman posting on social media: for my birthday I get to try out my brand new drill tank!

Sonic replying to eggman on social media: for my birthday I got to fuck up his brand new drill tank.

September 23 1993

Amy hiding behind a bush: for my birthday Im going to meet my hero sonic the hedgehog.

Metal hiding behind Amy: and for my birthday I'm going to fucking get you.

June 19 2001

Rouge: happy birthday handsome.

Shadow: thanks I guess?

Rouge: well are you going to say it back?

Shadow: no.

Rouge: the fuck you mean NO!?

Shadow: I just feel like breaking out of prison and trying to sanitize all life on the planet is what I want to think about right now.

September 13 2007

The queen: so princess it's your birthday did you have any plans?

Blaze: oh it's my birthday? no mother I forgot all about that.

The queen: anyway the universe is collapsing into a parallel dimension and will probably kill us all in the next 48 hours you should do your job now.

January 5 2003

Omaga: what the fuck man! egg man made me to kill and destroy I love killing and destroying and what does he have me DO! Guard duty he puts me on guard duty during my birthday >:(

[arrowfleur]

✩‧₊˚ Redacted HC’s ✩‧

Part 2: Sam and Darlin’

Sam is very rarely, if ever, at his full potential because he doesn’t do live feedings unless he literally needs to.

Big time cuddlers, Sam’s cold body and Darlin’s warmth work wonders.

Although Sam is warmer than most vampires since he eats more food than most.

Very good cook too, he has a lot of family recipes from his grandma

Darlin’ can hold their own in the kitchen they’re just not that bothered about it, or eating in general.

They’re also always dehydrated asf, they only really drink water when they’re working out, other then that, they forget.

Darlin’ has bought Sam multiple tank tops that are too small for him.

One of them had ‘garlic’ bedazzled on it and they laughed at their own joke for the rest of the night after Sam put it on

They both like to do each others hair. Brushing it, washing it, shaving beards. They can’t get their hands off each other

Darlin’ sits directly on top of Sam often, even when the whole couch is empty. He’s practically a climbing frame.

Sam is closest to David’s height out of everyone in the pack, Darlin is pretty level with Asher.

Darlin’ calls Sam ‘Collin’s’ ‘sammy��� and ‘babe’ quite often but they’ve found themself saying ‘it’s Sam’ if someone calls him anything otherwise

Sometimes they both say it in unison

Darlin has picked up quite a lot of Sam’s language but it doesn’t fit quite as neatly with their accent.

After finding out what it means, they particularly enjoy saying ‘bless your heart’ and then smirking to Sam as if it’s some sort of inside joke just between them.

They both think each other to be the funniest thing to exist. Darlin’ will keel over giggling at the most mundane comments Sam makes.

The pack was rather surprised to find out how gossipy Sam can be. Angel, Babe and Ash were DELIGHTED.

But he will not tolerate bad words being said about his loved ones. And has on multiple occasions whipped out the dead-pan face with a ‘do you hear how stupid you sound?’ to someone who thought him a safe space for slander.

They play fight in the woods a lot. Hunting each other, whilst Darlin’s shifted. Sam figured he’d have to go easy on them the first time they did it but they are surprisingly sneaky for such a large creature.

Darlin’ pounced on sam once, not realising he was next to a hill and they both ended up with twigs in their hair cradling each other at the bottom, with the loudest belly laughs ever.

Sam uses Vaseline for everything. His bathroom mainly consists of that and old spice.

The first time Darlin’ teased him about it he just laughed and graciously reminded them of his ‘soft lips’ with an off guard kiss

Timberland hates to see Sam coming, he has oh so many boots

He’s surprisingly meticulous about what he buys and he has expensive taste

‘I’d rather spend the money now and have them last than have to buy ‘em again in a couple months’

Saying that, he probably couldn’t name a single designer.

Could care less about having the latest trend or product.

He orders clothes for Darlin’ as well. Mainly basics. It took them a while to realise when their clothes started taking up more and more space in their closet.

Darlin’ is more than happy to wear the same pair of ripped black jeans over and over but they do have a fashion sense.

And if they absolutely HAVE to, they will show out.

When they were younger they had a very 2000’s aesthetic and it’s never completely left them.

The same way they will never get rid of their Ed hardy t-shirts

Sam likes marmalade

Darlin’ once surprised Sam with breakfast in bed, which he tried his best to be grateful for but all he could think about were crumbs in the bed l.

Darlin’ realised their mistake and they moved it to the couch as a compromise.

Darlin’ has a journal but it’s just filled with random sketches and funny things they thought of. They’re very private about it though

When they first met, almost all of Darlin’s socks had holes in

Darlin LOVES the Wildlife they get to see at Sam’s house. They have tried to befriend dears and foxes many, many times.

They also know a strangely large amount of bird breeds

Sam has a strange hatred for bagels

Darlin’ bought Sam the new f-zero game as soon as it came out

Sam used to have a German Shepard named Fido

Darlin’ still goes back to their old apartment every week to take their elderly neighbour grocery shopping.

Darlin’ quit smoking once they’d settled with Sam

He never asked them too, but they want a long life with him

They still have a packet for when they’re stressed but baby steps

Darlin’ uses the amount of buttons Sam’s flannels have to their ADVANTAGE when they’re making out

And God they love his lap and his thighs and his neck and his beard and his smile and nose and hands and voice and and and and

Sorry l bout that one I miss my husband

Anyways that’s all and here’s my proof I got them second, not that it really matters but anyway

[emeritusemeritus]

hi lovely, can i make a request? reader and fred are together. readers father recently passed away and it's readers first christmas without her dad, she goes missing and fred is frantically looking for her and he finds her at the top of the astronomy tower just before midnight and it ends with them saying merry christmas to each other? mainly fluff and protective

Hi dear Anon! I hope I did okay with this request and that you enjoy! If this is specific to your real life situation then I’m sending you my biggest condolences and a warm wintery hug, or if it’s just a request then you can still keep the hug! 🖤

Warnings: mentions of death (readers father), grief, sadness, Fred being an incredible boyfriend, protective Fred. Not beta read nor spellchecked.

Word count: 1.9k

Merry Christmas Baby

You'd done so well all day, even if you had stretched yourself beyond your means; masking up to your eyes until you couldn't pretend to be fine anymore.

You'd made it through the morning, through waking up alone in your dormitory, your other dorm mates all spending Christmas at home with their families whilst you remained at school, practically homeless and without a whole family to return to. You'd bathed, gotten dressed and had spent an hour in quiet contemplation in your room before making your way down to the common room.

Beyond Harry and the Weasleys who were staying at school over Christmas, there were very few other students that remained, meaning that you practically had the Gryffindor common room and the entire school to yourselves. The elves had prepared an even more lavish feast than usual and you'd happily eaten the meal until you were full to bursting. You sat beside Fred, his hand entwined with yours in a silent form of support as you joined in with the jokes and the laughter as a form of escape from your grief.

You knew staying at school was the best option, though some could argue it was only running away from your problems, the first Christmas without your dad was easier to face indirectly from the comfort and familiarity of your school and your friends.

After dinner you'd all waddled back to the common room with belts and trousers loosed and collapsed in various chairs around the room. The fire was lit and it was calm, with most of the other attendees having a mid-afternoon snooze after their dinner but you couldn't seem to nod off. You stared into the fire for a while, watching the flames rise and fall, the flickering shadows projected around the room that danced with the flames. Fred was lightly snoring against your shoulder as you lay draped over him at his insistence, his long legs acting as the perfect stool for your own. Your shoes had been long since pulled off as you lazed about, thankful for the warmth of the fire. There were so many things you were thankful for this year, trying to remain positive despite the dark thoughts threatening to intrude upon your day, always in the back of your mind like a dark cloud hanging overhead. You were thankful for Fred and George, for your friends, for the school that you loved so much, for your magical abilities and for the family that gave them to you. You were thankful for the years spent with your dad and thankful that you had somewhere to go this Christmas knowing that home was no longer an option.

It was early evening when various people began to wake from their Christmas siestas, with George waking first and Fred following in almost alarming synchronisation. The rest of the night was spent playing chess and exploding snap, occupying yourselves in whatever way you wanted. You felt yourself slipping into yourself more and more throughout the evening, with less input to conversations, your laughter decreasing until you were barely chuckling even at the funniest of quips. At first you were perplexed by your sudden low mood, thinking that perhaps your social battery had run low but it wasn't the case at all, you wanted your friends around you. It was inevitable really that your sour mood would finally take over, the undeniable thoughts of grief, of sadness, wouldn't be able to be held back forever. You suddenly felt claustrophobic in the cozy common room, surrounded by too many people and too much happiness that you were inevitably going to bring down the mood by staying.

You looked at Fred, seeing that he was currently occupied in a rather intense battle of exploding snap with Ron, briefly checking around the room for anyone else paying attention to you before you grabbed your shoes and slipped away. You walked out of the portrait hole and out to the corridor, placing your shoes on and walking aimlessly around the castle. The portraits wished you merry Christmas  as you walked past and you offered them festive greetings in return, just wishing that you could slip away unnoticed without having to interact with anyone either in person or in portrait.

You curse yourself for not bringing a jacket with you as you walk out of the doors into the courtyard, seeing a thin sheet of ice and snow on the ground that once seemed to make it look more beautiful, more magical. You hugged your arms tighter to yourself, fighting back an involuntary shiver as you made your way around the courtyard without any specific destination in mind. You felt better at escaping the common room, taking some time away to allow those thoughts and feelings to surface in private. The last thing you wanted to do was cause a scene, or bring down anyone's good mood and good time, which they so rightfully deserved. You let the slew of tears finally come as if right on cue, your father's face occupying your mind completely as you think of past Christmases, of past memories with him that you'd never get to experience again.

Back in the common room, Fred celebrates his landslide win over Ron who sits back in his chair with a face like thunder, arms crossed like a petulant child at losing to his older brother. George cheers and celebrates with his twin as he scoops up the two sickles that he'd won from Harry in their bet. Fred turns to find you, confused at the lack of cheers he hears from your mouth, his constant cheerleader, but finds your seat no longer occupied. He frowns, looking around the room in hopes of spotting you but doesn't see the figure he is so familiar with.

"Gin, have you seen y/n?" He asks his sister as she walks down the steps from the dorms and bathrooms. She shakes her head with a slightly confused look, eyes whipping around the room just as Fred's had moments before.

"Can you."

"On it," she replies with a nod, cutting him off already anticipating his question as she turns on her heel to go back up the stairs. When she returns a few minutes later, she gives Fred a definitive shake of her head and momentarily considers that this is the first time that she's ever seen him look so concerned over anything. His eyes are full of worry and anxiety, body rigid but fidgety as he paces the length of the room, mind working overdrive to where she might have gone. He shouldn't have been so stupid leaving her alone whilst he played his game, knowing that the day was undoubtedly going to catch up to her.

"I've got to find her," he says to no one in particular as everyone watches him exit through the portrait hole and disappear. He runs down the corridors, not listening to the portraits that shout at him to slow down, to not run in the hall, the only thought in his mind being you. He searches all your usual places, even making his way to Hagrid's hut only to find that you hadn't been there all day. With each place he looked and didn't find you, he grew more frantic until he was almost sprinting to the next place, quickly running out of options. He stopped in the courtyard to catch his breath, watching the steam pour out of his mouth from the frozen air around him. The bell rang out to signal that it was midnight and he felt completely defeated and upset at the fact that your Christmas Day had ended exactly as he didn't want, with you feeling alone.

Only when he'd resorted to returning to the common room in the hopes of your return, did a faint but present light flicker from the top of the astronomy tower, making him realise that he hadn't checked there. He bolted quickly, his feet leading the way with his head lagging behind slightly, spiralling thoughts filling his mind with each step closer. He climbs the spiral staircase with deep heaving puffs falling from his lips, the physicality of his chase now catching up to him. He pauses briefly, seeing the figure of you through the slats of the wooden floor and exhales a sigh of relief, head dropping on his shoulders momentarily. He doesn't want to scare you, to catch you off guard especially in your emotional state and so he ensures his ascend up the stairs is as loud as possible, old worn trainers banging on the stairs with every tread.

He watches as you turn towards him as he steps off the staircase and onto the platform with you, a soft, calming smile on his face. He remains silent as he creeps forward, moving to sit beside you on the floor without any words spoken. He notes how cold and unrelenting the floor beneath his arse feels and a frown appears between his brows, thinking of how long you must have been sat here. His hand takes yours and he frowns deeper at how cold you feel to the touch, both of his hands wrapping around yours to try and give you any warmth he can of his own.

He doesn't know what to say that hasn't already been said, something that would fix the hurt and help to comfort, but nothing comes to his mind. He's always been an actions kind of man, with George taking care of the more sensitive words, and right now he's wishing he had his twin's gentleness.

When he feels your head shift to rest on his shoulder, he knows that he's doing something right. He rests his chin on the top of your head and you sit there for a few moments with nothing spoken between the both of you, the only noise being the gentle whistling of the wind as it whips past the astronomy tower.

"Freddie," he hears to say quietly and adjusts his head so that he look down towards you. You look like you'd been crying, your eyes rimmed with a pink hue that matched the shade of pink on the top of your nose. The pink around your eyes only seems to make your eyes more vibrant, the colour astounding Fred as he looks upon your face. "Thank you. For today, for everything really. I know you didn't go home just to stay here with me."

He blushes under the praise, your grateful words affecting him more than he shows. Truthfully, he had chosen to stay at school during Christmas for you, not wanting you to be alone wherever you were, knowing that there was no such thing as home for you right now. George had naturally decided to stay with Fred and Ron hadn't wanted to leave Harry in the first place, leaving Ginny who didn't want to be left at home without her siblings.

There's nothing to be said. Fred for once remains silent, his actions doing the talking for him. His right hand slips from yours and he pulls it around you to wrap you in his heat, pulling you close to his body. He senses a calmness in you now, head no longer filled with only sad thoughts. You look like you're coming out of your negative headspace, the hint of a smile tugging at your lips as you snuggle down into his jumper.

"Merry Christmas Fred."

It's the only thing that needed to be said in the moment, a fine summary of your gratitude, your thankfulness and of your love for him.

"Merry Christmas baby."

[03junkie]

prompt: headline || i fucking hate this it’s so meta😭 || wc: 463 || @rosekillermicrofic || listen to ‘c’est la vie (lip filler)

News channels hardly had anything worthwhile to post anymore. Makes sense why Evan was headlining the morning news for ‘going viral’ for doing the bare minimum online. Evan knew he was somewhat famous on TikTok, but he could hardly care about that. He’d seen that account as a way to let off steam from his less-than-ideal tattoo apprenticeship. Slowly though, he’d started to see it as a business opportunity, so that he could have some disposable income in his pocket.

He hadn’t ever expected for his face to be plastered on local news alongside with an image of an objectively awful rapper. Evan was sure this man got lucky with his music, because there was no bleeding way anyone would unironically listen to what he put out. Evan had to admit though, the man was good-looking, and exactly his type. He had a rather goofy name too; Barty Crouch Jr. Evan would’ve ended his life if he was called Barty.

Anyway, Evan’s video played on loop as posh British accents narrated his “overnight success”. The video finally ceased, and he was met with the anchors’ faces. They were saying something about how they’ve got a special guest in the studio, and Evan was less than surprised with the fact that it was Barty Crouch Jr in the flesh. Evan was weirdly transfixed onto the screen.

‘So, Barty, we heard that this video did numbers for your song. Is that right?’ The woman to Barty’s right said.

‘Oh yeah, man. It’s crazy, really.’ The anchors looked less than pleased with this answer.

‘And what does your family have to say about it?’

‘As if I’d tell ‘em. They still think I’m rutting about at med school.’ At this, he laughs like it’s the funniest thing in the world.

‘Well, do you plan to let them know?’ The anchors look uncomfortable now.

‘Yeah, for sure, if I want to lose my inheritance.’ Barty scrutinised the pair in front of him, almost watching them squirm in discomfort.

‘Er, what did you think of Evan Rosier’s video, seeing as it brought you so much fame?’ Barty had a grin on his face.

‘Fine shit. If you’re watching this, Rosier, hit me up, yeah? Maybe you can give me another hit. I’ve got a feelin’ we’d work well together.’ Evan was smiling too, subconsciously pulling his phone out his pocket. There were already a few comments on the video in question, all targeted towards this particular interview.

Evan opened Barty’s account, first following him, and then opening his newest post. Without thinking he commented, ‘hate ur song xx’.

[fireboltposts]

Stray Kids' reaction to you texting them "Merry Christmas ya filthy animal" on Christmas day referencing the movie Home Alone 2 : Lost In New York

A/N : Since Advent is round the corner here's a silly Christmas scenario. Picture credit goes to the owner.

Chris

• He'd definitely laugh at your playful message and the Home Alone reference would definitely click with them.

• "Merry Christmas you cheeky little troublemaker 🐺🎄", he texts back.

• He'd call you right after just to hear your voice "so you're quoting movies at me now Y/N ie ? Am I Kevin or am I one of the burglars ?"

• He'd tease you relentlessly but would definitely appreciate you wishing him at midnight.

Minho

• Minho would raise an eyebrow at your cheeky message highly amused by the sheer audacity to text him that.

• "Merry Christmas you brat 🙄. You know what happens to 'filthy animals' right ? Better be careful 😏".

• You'd blush profusely at his reply meanwhile he double texts you a picture of his three precious cats lounging next to the dorm Christmas tree with something like "they're watching you".

Changbin

• He would probably be producing a track late at night while you text him that sharp at midnight.

• He would laugh at your text, clearly amused. "Merry Christmas bunny 💕. But hey we all know who the real 'filthy animal' is over here 😏".

• He'd probably video call you soon after asking you what you got him for Christmas and would make plans for the day wanting to spend it with you.

Hyunjin

• Hyunjin would be startled at first, staring at the message like "Is she calling me filthy ?!" But then he’d remember the movie reference and start giggling.

• "Excuse me ? I'm practically an angel and not a filthy animal 😤 . And Merry Christmas to you too you absolute menace ❣️".

• Hed probably just send you a selfie later, pouting and asking you "so do I look like a filthy animal to you now ?"

Jisung

• Boy would probably be munching on some late night Christmas snack and would almost spit out the food at your message, putting down the phone to laugh at it.

• "HOW DARE YOU !! I'm the cleanest animal here, thank you very much. But Merry Christmas to you too, you little gremlin 😆🎄".

• By evening, he’d text you "Okay fine, I admit that was the best Christmas message I’ve ever gotten. Don’t tell anyone".

Felix

• Felix would be confused for a split second but would quickly catch on to the reference. He’d chuckle softly, finding your humor absolutely endearing.

• "Merry Christmas, darling. 💕 But… are you calling me filthy ? 😭 I thought I was your angel 😔".

• He'd send you a voice note in that deep voice of his wishing you all the love and happiness Christmas. He’d then gush to the members about how adorable you were.

Seungmin

• Seungmin would squint at his phone, trying to decide whether to laugh or pretend to be offended.

• "Merry Christmas, clown. 🎅 You’re lucky it’s the holidays otherwise, I’d roast you for that message".

• He’d subtly bring up your message during the day, saying things like, "So, how many other people did you call 'filthy animals' or am I just special?" He’d tease you relentlessly but would secretly love your sense of humor.

Jeongin

• Jeongin would blink at the message, trying to make sense of it for a second. If he got the reference, he’d laugh and shake his head at how bold you were.

• "Merry Christmas, you weird human. 🎁 But don’t forget that I’m the baby of the group. Filthy animal ? Really ?"

• By evening, he’d probably text you something like "Yours was the funniest Christmas message I received today. But next year, I’m coming up with something better, so you'd better watch out".

A/N : Hope you liked it. Do like, comment, reblog and follow if you did. You can find the rest of my masterlist here.

[sophsicle]

haha so like who is jack hughes he’s all over my fyp

oh my god.

thank u so much 4 this ask.

lets talk about it.

let me paint u a scene.

SO. Jack Hughes. he is, first and foremost, a middle child. this, i feel, is important information. he also looks like a lil doll.

WHICH. is a complicated thing 2 look like in hockey. because, on the one hand, u have mass appeal amongst teenage girls (boys and theys) but you automatically have the hatred of all old men who watch hockey and young men named some variation of Brayden who "would have made it if they didn't break their pinky finger in juniors" or whatever. and now they look at jack hughes who is both pretty and talented and they hate him. so sad 4 them. they should probs get over that tho. also he is 5'11. which he will tell you. agressively. is not small. but average. AVERAGE HEIGHT. SO. just - jot that right down, okay???????? (again, 4 context, anything below six ft. in hockey is small TM)

ANYWAY SO. Jack Hughes, pretty lil boi that he is, goes first overall in the draft in 2019 (i think) at age 18, because the nhl is a cradle robber, and, if u don't know how the draft works, the worse the team the earlier they get to pick, so he goes to one of the worst teams in the league (the new jersey devils) and in a SHOCKING turn of events this teenager does not manage to save this team immediately and therefore is attacked.

(sad jack hughes edits are my JAM i'm gonna be real)

HOWEVER, Jack Hughes's super power, and i say this with the utmost love and affection, is that he is. dumb. and he simply never once stops believing in himself. like truly, the dumber u are the less anxiety u have. one time. his team was not that great but they were winning games somehow and a reporter asked him about it and he was like "yeah we're just too stupid to lose. like we don't know we're bad so we don't know we're supposed to lose" which. tbh *inspiring*

being dumb also means he is unintentionally one of the funniest players in the nhl.

ALSO, idk how to explain this. but like. there's a whole thing where he didn't know how to cook broccoli one time, and it haunts him 2 this day and it makes me laugh.

BUT the most important thing to understand about Jack Hughes is that he loves his brothers. he has an older brother, Quinn, who is A GEM. a gift. the sweetest hockey play 2 ever hockey. and a younger brother Luke, who plays on his team. and these boys do nothing but support each other 24/7 it is truly HEART WARMING. and precioussss.

"my brothers are good hockey players, but they're better people" - Luke Hughes

Last, but not least. Jack Hughes is a member of the NHL boy band known as Trevor Zegras, Cole Caulfield and Jack Hughes. All pretty and very good players who were on the same juniors team and are now in the NHL

AND THAT is Jack Hughes lore 101 I feel

[bucksboobs]

Although the funniest thing they could do is have Brad’s spinoff run for a couple seasons after OG ends and then Buck comes on for a couple episodes and Brad’s like “Oi Buckley!!! How’s the husband!” And Buck’s like “he’s good we’re good” and there’s exactly zero follow up to WHO his husband is. There’s a line about him every episode Buck is in though. “When my husband was in the war…” “my husband is a firefighter too” “Buck’s husband has a history with helicopters.”