#the funniest shit to ever exist im not fucking kidding

[echosluvr]

I'm the shameless writers' sleep paralysis demon. In season 12:

Debbie has flings with a bunch of crazy™ chicks to forget about Sandy but they meet again and they talk about that.

D:"after i met you, thought I loved crazy bitchs but turns out i only love one crazy bitch."

S: "oh wow, turns out ,i only love one crazy bitch too."

They kiss and have steamy lesbian sex, the end.

LMFAO this is sending me so bad how does it feel to be one of the funniest people ever anon (sorry I saw this so late Tumblr loves hiding my inbox notifs) as much as I love love love sebbie, I fear it wouldn't happen like this. I think after h*idi , debbie would quit on dating and fucking? she may kiss girls at bars on her nights out but thats the most. she wouldn't get anyones number or fuck. she'd devote most of her time to her job and franny to get over sandy. if im being 0% delusional they would NOT get back together because of the harsh and cruel words sandy said to debbie. but in my perfect fanfic world, over this time sandy tries with prince , obviously a long hard path because she willingly abandoned that kid with a guy who clearly didn't have enough time for him either. but over the course of months and familial therapy she would get to a standpoint with her son, where they aren't truly mother-son, but they get along. she knows his favorite things (color, food, clothes, activity, etc) and he knows his hers. and at first sandy would do this just for debbie, to show she's willing to change and not be another person who abandons her. but overtime she grows to care for her son. and I think the reconciliation would start off with sandy begging mickey to help him set up a meeting or play date between franny and prince so she can show she's trying with her kid while also having some distance to discuss these topics with debbie. as for Debbie she would be against it at first and maybeeeeeee mickey bribes franny who is the only person in the whole wide world that can convince her mom to do anything. so she agrees. they'd meet, its awkward but sandy strikes a convo about the kids and they seem to joke about it. and amidst it, sandy would apologize and debbie would shut it down, cause she just isn't ready to forgive her, but she's willing to along with it. it'd probably grow along the course of months most likely years and a shit ton of familial counseling between sandy and prince and couples therapy between sandy and debbie to get to a state where sandy can ask debbie out on a date and they can try again. but once they reach that point I think they'd fall in love and be gallamoms to their kids (btw prince and sandy would def have a much much better bond by the time sebbie get together, and royal is out of the picture because I think he shouldn't exist) and bully ian and mickey. if I go beyond sebbie, I def think mickey would help his cousin love her child despite the circumstance by simultaneously learning to love yevygeny ? I think it would be cute to see the two cousins earn a place in their child's life and it causing a beautiful domestic life for them all. svet and mandy would be together by this time too, and once it all settles down over years, all three couples would put their kids/stepkids to bed and laugh over how almost 2 decades later the two youngest milkovich siblings & their cousin r now stable and gay/bi (SCREW U TERRY)

(@m4ndysk4nkovich, @holymurdock and @lovekenney I would love for u three to add ur insights )

[rodent-king-buunii]

Were more than halfway done, this is eps 9-12. I put pictures + screenshots in this time.. Bare w me here

TW: Death

Episode 9:[not much happens]

The street clip is back

The real life footage is fuckin trippy stop!

THE BEAR ONSIE MADE A COMEBACK! LETS GOO!!

Alien Freddy Kruger has made an appearance..

Oop- damn she found a Knight..

O no.. what is she bout to do w track 44?

NOT HER PARENTS GETTIN BUSY WHILE THEIR CHILDRENT ARE FUCKIN DYIN N KILLIN!?

THE SKINWALKER IS STILL BABBLIN BUT IS MAKIN SOME WORDS?!

The boy lives!! HE GAVE HER A SMOOCH?! N PUT HIS FUCKIN GUM IN HER MOUTH

Not her mimickin the sister’s babble on the banana phone

This episode has a lot of info + big words i don't entirely understand, i just know that Lain is bein duped in the wire like a deepfake matrix

WHO IS THIS FUCKIN DUDE?!

Episode 10:

THE FUCKIN STREET CLIP[i feel like i should have a counter for this shit too]

AYO SO THE DUDE AT THE END OF THE LAST EP LOOKS LIKE IS MONOKE HAD A BROTHER BUT THAT BROTHER WAS JUST… NOT HITTIN LIFE RIGHT?! THIS MFER SUPPOSED TO BE GOD?! HE LOOK LIKE A EMO NEANDRITHAL

GIRL GOD HAS ME KICKIN N SCREAMIN IM--

Not them beefin by readin each others minds out loud… this is the shittiest fuckin battle ive ever seen HELP

Why have a desk for someone that dosent exist?

Lain havin an existential crisis part 12..

They made this whole fake ass family to keep this creature[Lain] in a state of calm? She is some sort of experiment, her state of mind and body are separated. Like some sort of computer simulation that has made itself believe that its real..

As if she was a real girl but somethin happened n her consciousness was uploaded into an A.I. n is remembering that this fake world is hers, shes the god of her own world.. She is everythin n nothin

Dude2 finally made an appearance but bout to get EUTHANIZED!!

NOT HIS SECRETARY FINDIN HIM

DUDE 3 GOT FUCKED UP N GOT A BULB SHOVED IN HIS MOUTH HELP-

O shit the mom that the delivery dude was tryna get w got fucked up too

Kid didnt even notice…

The men in black are supposed to be the good guys but o my fuckin gods they talk like super villains- i liked it better when they didnt speak

They denounced the emo God for both worlds.. He cant be Hannah + Miley anymore

WHY THIS MFER LOOK LIKE EMINEM?!

Wait okai so it made sense when the dad said he loved her but when Eminem said it it made me confused??

Mfer look like the one meme

God is a dick dude “i created you” “love me” “theres no one else”

LAIN FIGHTIN BACK

Episode 11:[empty episode]

Openin up w/, what i can only assume is, Lain hookin up to her set in this empty house she once called a home.

It feels like a music video you vaguely remember seeing as a kid, is about to start.

Were Lain + the dead classmate actually friends?

Were any of her friendships real?

Was any of it real?

After 8 straight minutes of never starting a music video we got to the plot?

Emo god is back-- fucker

THIS BITCH IS SOFTWARE?! IS THAT WHAT YOURE TELLIN ME?!

She understands but doesnt at the same time + i feel her for that.

The dead girl + the guy from the club are playing angel + devil on her shoulder, playing the suicide game + trying to vaguely convince her not to..

Alice’s teacher “rumor” is still in hot pursuit

ALICE IS BEING STALKED BY FREDDY KRUEGER?!

O its just Lain bein weird.. Nvm..

She is the wired

Love that for her

Shit Lain passed it on like a fuckin virus

Episode 12:

“I was overthinking things all along” --Lain

What a fuckin mood

THE FUCKIN STREET CLIP IS BACK BBY!!!!

Alice is onto Lains ASS

+ LAIN KNOWS

Fuck Lain is bein creepy af usin her power to creep out her “best” friend

Taro is still up on the “i kissed an angel” thing-

Lets all love Lain

The man is tryna blend everyone + everythin usin Lain

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKIN DEATH SCENE WTF?!

WHY ME MOVIN LIKE THAT?!

HE SAW LAIN + FUCKIN SPAZZED TO DEATH

EMENEIM DOES TOO FUCK I LIKED HIM

Alice comes to the Ikura residence + walks though this trashed deserted house. Hits some gas, sees the skinwalker w/its head split in half, still babbling in search for Lain

Lain sleeps in a cocoon bed like i do :>

“Watching what?” Lain: :>

Lain thought she was loving Alice, Alice thought Lain was bat shit outta her mind + hated her.

Theyre connected without having connected

“Alice, i love you” girl don't-

Alice is a better friend than i am…

FUCKIN EMO GOD NEEDS TO FUCK OFF MY GUY

LET LAIN GO SHES SCARING ALICE ITS NOT A BUG SHES HUMAN DAMNIT

ITS NOT A BUG, SHES HUMAN

ALICE SAW THE HAND OF GOD

Not Lain talkin back to EMO GOD

I love her questionin him, tellin him that theres a god before him

Lain fuckin leaves him to go with Alice so he threw a fit + created a body… fuckin pussy

These girls watched as a false got destroyed himself

Death Count

+5[theres no telling how many global Knights there were]

+1

+3[?]

New total ≈19

Thoughts:

I shouldnt have laughed as much as i did during episode 10 +12. God was givin v musty.

||P1||P2||P4||

[amidalashandmaidens]

SDC update: I have read Mariah, Alessi and the beginning of the older D'Arby's chapters ;)

Had a fuckin blast my guys 💕💕. I love Mariah, funniest lady ever. I'll put Alessi spoilers under the cut

ALESSI GOT BEAT UP BY A (PHYSICAL SIZED) 3 YEAR OLD AND A 7 YEAR OLD I AM LOSING MY MIND.

Fuckin wiiiimp.

I can understand why peeps think he's a creep w/the "good boy" thing but at least he also calls himself a good boy?? I dunno... Like he's fucked up for killing people by rewinding their way out of existence (THAT POOR WOMAN!! SHE WAS JUST TAKING CARE OF A LIL DUDE) it made me feel sick, the lack of control, losing your memories + motor skills...gah.

And it really showcases how much of a coward Alessi is, unwilling to fight people on equal ground + overkilling once they're vulnerable.

Very interesting character though I will admit. (I can't hate him all that much??)

And I wonder what fundamental part of his "soul" made his stand manifest as a thing which de-ages people?

(I could do some prolly super off base assumptions: like maybe Alessi didn't get much of a childhood? So his stand wants to help him experience something normal, but he uses it to...y'know kill people)

My brother read it before me and described Alessi's arc not concluding in the most satisfying way, and I agree it could have been longer (if it weren't for the fact that woman needed to get re-aged ASAP). But I'm not upset about it?

I just....keep coming back to the fact that either Jotaro was Super Strong as a child, or Alessi's made of putty and toothpicks. And that we Just get a glimpse of lil-taro. 🥲

Ah...what else do I wanna talk about...

Polnareff and that young lady?

I just, I know why Pol went with her (perceived safety + he has Silver Chariot worst comes to worst) but like...why wouldn't she ask him if he had parents? Maybe took him to a police officer instead??

It was very nice of her, but it just strikes me as off. I remember being 8 + scraping my knees (wiped out on my bike) and a neighbourhood lady took me inside her house to get patched up but my mom was Very Angry with me when she caught up. She told me I was lucky I wasn't hurt and to not go into strangers' houses even if they say they would help me. It was okay wait outside, since people could see, but not inside.

I just, I know it was to get Polnareff into a weird situation. Like "oh, all of his adult brain isn't ALL gone so he's Really Pleased for reasons he can't even remember" it's just....ugh. He's a KID goddamnit.

Anyways, I'm blown away that this happened while Joseph and Avdol's shit w/Mariah was happening.

Im gonna reblog this w/a Mariah addition don't worry 😉

[mapsofnonexistentplacesremade]

my brain is particularly gripped by somsak IDK why but i love him so much and his keytar we need to bring those back. but if you have any brainthoughts about him i'd love to hear them!! also ik the relationship section on his toyhouse page is a wip and idk if that's for like any reason but if you have anything to say about that it'd be cool. smash mouth

SOMSIIIIII honestly he exists in such a weird state because i built him up to be a pretty important character really early on and then my brain got distracted by all the other guys i made up.... i need to think about him more and maybe actually working on his page would help LOL

right now he's kind of just sitting in the story as a weird 'absence' character which i do find fun but yknow it means he doesnt really do much. in my minds eye hes just like cool skater kid from a prog ska band who says swear words all the time. theres more to him but i havent been able to put it into words yet....

rest got long so

honestly the relationships part is probably the most interesting. at least so far. the person he's technically closest to is ulises because she's the one who basically revived him and yknow. she feels this kind of responsibility for him and checks in with him to make sure he's ok. somsak thinks he's too cool to ever confront his emotions and likes to stay aloof but deep down he REALLY appreciates ulises' concern.... i think soms is kind of aware that nobody on the train really likes or respects him and though he knows he kind of does it to himself hes at least glad Someone cares about his existence at all. also thinking about it theyd both bond over music they like the same kind of tunes :+) ulises is like his cool prog rock uncle

he also has this with beatrix. having been the person to save him from falling into fornax. but its to a lesser extent just because beatrix is way sharper and untrusting themself so their relationship basically amounts to like. theyre both walking around the train and see one another. silently walk up to one another maintaining full eye contact. beatrix asks in a jovial yet stilted tone "have you fallen into any more dimensional holes as of late" as like the worlds funniest joke. somsak answers "at least 12" plays a haunting riff on his keytar and runs away. they dont talk for another month

uhhhh next thing doesnt really count as a 'relationship' i just think its an interesting character thing i wanna bring up real quick. demeter doesnt like him because he stirs up memories of míra most unpleasantly. obviously they dont say it aloud and its less of a "why do you get to live when she didnt" thing and more of a "wow every time i look at this guy i wonder how my whole life would've changed if míra had survived too" so its just like. wah. they're cold to him :+(

notably hes friends with freya kind of. they both like to cause mischief and will like. very quickly catch on and support one anothers jokes its like epitome of doing a bit with some stranger and just getting the yes/and in sync completely somehow. sometimes freya finds him very annoying and gets kind of rude but that shit flies over soms head completely and he doesnt care

i think his connection with dalisay also works in a similar manner but unlike freya dalisay speaks far more earnestly and its more of like. bouncing off of a straight man sort of improv between them. somsak just finds hir monotony brilliant honestly

somsak kind of admires olzhas and isel and like. has a weird respect for the both of them LOL he tones himself down around them which baffles olja especially. hes just like hey these guys came to the train and found a better life aboard just like i did!!!! fuck yes!!!!!!! theyre cool im also cool!!!!!! he also thinks theyre both just cool looking. transmasc swag forever

what else. have some quotes about him from like typed up relationship charts i made a few months back. theyre the funniest ones

[azlovesem]

We may have vaerying opinions at the validity of me allowing civilization to continue. I decide in this gakaxy not any fuck ass punk from florida. Ill say again thanks. Heart feels brand nrw unlike how flirida looks. Let mw be the jusge of humanity irs ny job. Nah you know what most of those snericans are fuuuckes. I beat them to a bloody pulp fir a reason i mourn not their dead. That kids gons he is no longer on earth. Theyll never find the body. Its no longer on this planet. Not a trace ever. We dont leave snything traceable. I wo t even bring up that other guy. Of course i have s joke i always do being the funniest Archangel by far. Ill jyst say those dip shit smericans ability to fight me is fuckn joke Emma. I iwn America i took over everythibg. Theyte fuckn terrified to their cire not scared aweetie. Terrified for their existence. Im that tuckn scary my nane kills Gods i am GOD Emna. And God can be pretty fuckn cruel to any lil monkey even dares even look at me wrong. Ive killed more beings than aids has aids is jealous of my total. Auds aint that deadly conoaeed to my wrath. The only wrath of God im the face tgats why im kobda good look g. Nah not kne man looks like ne none of them have my deadly voice eyes or heart. Im not 100 percent hunan like yoy are. I iwn all their souls theyre propwrty now which state you want gone? Know anyone you dont like from Phoenix? Ha ha ha ha ahhh ha. I dudnt come to here to talk to monkeys about shitty tech. Showing me a rocket is like my trying to impress you with by rolling a pop can down a hilk. I hate lwsser scientusts and badically endslave them bybthreat of death. Og yes Rmna i wrote the book on that shit. What you know something? Youre comng with me tough guy. You work for us now ir ill toss your son off a bridge after your wife. Not do subtle but eorks better than anything else. Dont tell me abput defense you saw how good i am at that. Youre lucky i like you kid. Or like you love youbwhatever you havecto like someone at least first. Its hard but im a likabke guy because look at the rsdt of tge perrry fyck ass hollywood type nen on earth. Its easy to be oikable here look at yhese losers. Listen ill be seeing you. Im a hard son of a bitch bit thats actually why someafiws love me. Ga ga ga i kean it either way. They sodt that why tgey got beat up. Ahh compared to mbe you aont mussn one of those losers. Fuuckn coward ass non dueling loosers onnMY earth. Il waitn i got my .22 who wants to die in a duel? Any if yas snyone on warth. Crickets Emma. I win if i dont gwt what i want ill make you watch ne wipe them out.

Oh, my God. It's too cold today!

[wolfstariscanon]

Guys, I’m about to introduce you to the funniest fanfiction ever written

The Puzzling Prattlings of a Pulchritudinous Potions Professor  by JuicyJuice

This is the funniest fanfiction to ever exist I’m not kidding. I first read it last year and I stayed up till like 3 or 4am and by that time I was laughing so hard it hurt. I have this fic saved on my phone and my laptop in case I ever need a good laugh because, believe me it will deliver. If this fic fails to make you laugh idk what even will make you laugh tbh.

Here are some excerpts so you guys understand what im talking about (I’ll put them under a read more becuase otherwise this post would be super long):

“But I was already angry with Dumbledore. Only the day before I had asked (again) why he felt I was not appropriate for the Defense Against the Dark Arts job when he clearly felt that a mass of turbaned nothingness was. Well, I didn’t really ask him, per se. I took all of his fuzzy socks hostage (harder than you might think—they were locked in an underground chamber guarded by a troll) and threatened to feed them all to the giant squid if he didn’t fire Quirrel immediately.

He smiled, probably because he knew nothing alive would ever consent to eat his socks, and insinuated that I have an unsatisfactory love life. Actually he said something like, “Severus you should find yourself a nice, patient, not-too-goodlooking person to settle down with and give up this petty nonsense. You may do whatever you like with my socks.” Then he gave me an eye-twinkling smile, put me in a full body bind and threw me (quite literally) out of his office. He’s got hefty arms for an old worm in a pointy hat.

Cocky old man. I hope his eyes twinkle out of his sockets. I spent the rest of the evening burning most of his socks in my fire. It left an awful smell. Eventually I realized that I should stop, so I took the remaining socks and hid them on the forbidden third floor. I cleverly figured that Dumbledore would never look there, since he knew that “Fluffy” was after his blood since he had stolen its tambourine.”

“Following this of course, she took to barging in on me at the most unexpected moments, like it was some sort of game. I took to dressing and undressing crouched behind my bed, as a precaution. She gave me quite a turn once when I was ferreting around on the floor (pretending to be a ferret, obviously��it’s an excellent stress reliever) and she stormed in like a wild boar on steroids. I had to say I was searching for my eyeglasses.

“You don’t have eyeglasses,” she said like the insolent, disagreeable thing she is. I replied, with the greatest dignity for someone in ferret-pose on the floor, “For a lady of your stature, Minerva, you should comprehend the secret lives of secretive, er. . .secrets. But now I will divulge to you and only you a great mystery of the mind which is: I have eyeglasses!. . .and they are somewhere. They cannot be with us right now as they are on a secret mission of their own.” I thought I had handled the whole thing prodigiously well, but her look told me that she knew I had no clue what I was talking about, probably because I didn’t have any clue what I was talking about. She then said, “Severus, neither you, nor I, nor anyone else has any clue what you are talking about.” “Ha!” I said, still in ferret-pose, “That’s just because no one else can hear us!””

“he most shameful day of my life reared its ugly head four pathetic days later.  As a direct consequence, I barricaded myself into a broom cupboard and resolved never leave until I was legally and spiritually dead.  I would become a broom cupboard hermit crab.  I would be a legend at Hogwarts.  In fifty years First Years would skitter past the door nervously, knowing that something inside it was alive.  The Seventh Years would dare each other to open the door or peek through the keyhole, but none of them, not even the dumbest Gryffindor, would have the nerve.  Filch would suffer a sudden death because he would never see some of his smelly brooms and mops again…And I, I would wither inside that sad, dank, dark, misty, uncomfortable place, until I forgot the horrors of Tuesday, September the Eighth.”

“As I have said before, she is always barging in on me, so this was nothing special, though it was slightly embarrassing as I was singing along to some American bloke’s song called “Werewolves of London” that I was getting on WWN (Wizarding Wireless Network).  By the time she had entered, I was very into it and was on a particularly nice “Awooooooo!” with my head thrown back and arms spread out.  I may have been dancing as well (possibly Irish), but I prefer not to think about it. She, being her insufferable self, had to take a few minutes to get over that (laughing unprofessionally hard and occasionally banging her head against the wall) before she got to her point.            “Severus,” she said, as if we were on first name terms, “I am here to teach you the facts of life.””

“Before McGonagall could educate me on the finer points of reproduction, I stunned her, put her in a full body bind and tried to carry her to her office.  Unfortunately, her apparent frailness has no correlation with her weight.  I would say that 302 kilos is not a bad estimate.  As I passed through the halls, many students stared at me like they had nothing better to do except stand still all day staring at innocent professors carrying around their colleagues.”

““Oh no,” I said, “I have lost my…” for some reason avocado was the only word that could come to mind.  I thought very quickly and finished, “orange!  Oh dear.  I must find it.” I don’t pretend to have good acting skills, but I must say that I think I handled that very nicely, considering.  So then I left, looking for my orange, obviously, and then barricaded myself in the cupboard, never to come out again. To make matters worse, something soon began knocking and shuffling about outside the door. “Professor Snape-y!” someone said, in a horribly sweet, singsong voice “It’s time to come out now!  I have some cheese for you!” That is my life.”

ALL OF THESE ARE JUST FROM THE FIRST 3 CHAPTERS. THERE ARE 18 CHAPTERS IN TOTAL. I haven’t even gotten to the part where Snape went shoe shopping or where Minnie was doing a headstand while wearing a leotard.

Just believe me, this is quite possibly the best thing you will ever read. I despise Snape with my entire being and I ABSOLUTELY HATE fics written in 1st person and this is probably like one of my favourite things in the world. TRUST ME, READ IT YOU WON’T BE SORRY.

There is also a Sequel called Severely Severus, however it only has 2 chapters and is probably abandoned.

[hamletbot]

I love legacy of the dragonborn bc the way Auryen runs the museum is legit unhinged…

oh hey dragonborn :) if u want to we can just fool the public and use only replicas as displays so you can run around using mega powerful and dangerous shit, its not like they’ll notice ;)… hm whats that? You found a lich vault? yknow what? lets just take all of our super powerful daedric artifacts and stuff em in there and replace it w replicas here… oh what is that? the amulet of kings? wouldn’t it be sick if we reforged it lol. also could you just casually steal these stuff from the blue palace they wouldnt donate it to us hm? You want to use the decrepit old basement?? what for? Oh you wanna stuff it full of decapited heads and skulls? sure why not man… ill have it ready for displays by tomorrow:) oh also the museum is haunted… bye! have fun fighting the mammoth and the giant in the natural gallery… wait while we are at it you know what would be a great team building exercise? Yeah you guessed it falmer infested ruins :)) anyways have fun love you

[ma-lark-ey]

okay I learned from the first monster post so I’ma just throw one of these bad boys down real fast

Niall Lynch is giving Glenn Close of DnDads fame and that may be a fandom overlap only I have.

Gansey calling Blue Jane will never not be funny

My feeling with Richard Gansey III currently is the same thoughts I had reading They Both Die At The End. By that, I mean; “Yes, I have been told point blank this character is going to die. However, I’m chosing to pretend the author is lying.”

Blue kinda acearo coded.

Blue picking boys is so funny to me. She really said “Fuck Daddy’s Money. Give me that little weirdo in the Coke shirt.”

So if Noah’s put to rest. Is he just around cause he wants to be now? Like. Is he just vibing? Or is he connected to Gansey somehow?

I always forget effervescent is a real word.

oh i love a good murder threat.

“You’re dead you don’t weight anything!” Ronan :(( he’s still part of the group :((( he wants to street race too !!

“that’s not fun thats trouble” youre teenages boys. those are synonyms gansey.

WHAT is the Gray Man.

OH.

Operating theory: Niall Lynch left Ronan with some kind of trinket that is the Greywaren & Ronan knows it IS the Greywaren but not what it DOES which is why the dream shit confuses him. TRUST!

WHAT IS NIALLS WILL. WHAT.

maybe gansey’s awake… ronan the boy that you are

the way Stiefvater describes buildings is absolutely magnificent.

Ronan: oh no yeah Adam’s in my dreams sometiems & he makes fun of my ‘attempts to ocmmunicate.’ reader, dont analyse that too hard imm moving on now. CHAINSAW—

Ronan I would like to go back to Adam in your dreams kiddo whats that about.

oh is that box the greywaren. yeah there’s no way this is ending well.

The Jane thing feels transphobic but also trans as fuck at the same time. i cant explain it. Gansey the enigma you are.

“Raven boys must be prey to propoganda” Blue they’re rich kids ofc they are

Blue the woman that you are 💖💞

Every henrietta description gets more like my hometown and i’m thriving

“how proud he was of it, how wretched it was.” Adam you’re doing amazing

“Boyd” that’s Matt Boyd of aftg fame this name will never be said again but im speaking it into existence.

WIN FOR ADAM FINALLY

every time i think I’m prepared for Adam’s POV he leaves me on the floor strewn about like lego pieces.

Gansey looks dishevelled in public??? i didnt know he knew how to do that

Ronan using his asshole aura to do good things under the radar ily im so sorry i called you obnoxious.

GAMSEY WAS STUPID ABOUT ADAM??? they’re so Brocedes coded. No one who knows this book series is going to know what brocedes is. trust me on this.

accusing Gansey of dating glendower is the funniest thing Adam has ever done and will ever do. You’re so real Adam. Speak your truth.

THROWING NOAH OUT THE WINDOW IS THE FUNNIEST THING RONAN WILL EVER DO. DEFENSTRATE HIS ASS

Okay that’s the first ten chapters. I’ll be back when I’m at chapter 20

Lark Liveblogs Literature: The Raven Cycle II: The Dream Thieves

What’s the standings??

a) if there’s a singular fact about me, it’s that I am a Noah Czerny enjoyed above all else, and secondly I’m studying Adam Parrish like a bug.

b) Gansey has autism and not even the author herself will convince me otherwise.

c) Ronan Lynch was an obnoxious shit, but he’s slowly gaining brownie points by being less Seth Gordon and more Nico di Angelo about it.

d) Blue Sargent woman of all time. She can do no wrong ever & I’m like 90% sure Adam is secretly gay but like they’re cute.

I don’t know what Noah’s mom’s birthday schnapps have to do with his death, but it’s something. I feel it in my bones.

Ronan’s dream shenans are so goofy to me.

Also Ronan being our prologue POV in this book whereas we had zero ronan pov in book one implies we might get Noah pov and I’m sorry in advance for who I’ll be if I’m write.

I have no idea where this plot is going, which is unusual for me but we’re living with it. I think Glendower might appear this book but also I have a deep feeling he’s not going to show up until book four for reals.

that’s all folks! I’ll be back once i get through some chapters with thoughts.

OH ALSO THIS BOOK TITLE FUCKING EATS. MAGGIE STIEFVATER COOKED WITH THIS ONE Y’ALL.

[yyyeahduuude]

Take Me Back to the Start - Ryan Dunn x Reader

Warning: lots of f-bombs, but that’s about it. And angst. Lots.

Dunn.

Bam’s right at his side, but he sounds so far away, a muffled, underwater sort of sound, and Ryan can’t process it enough to pay any mind, eyes focused on the road and the couple of kids that ride past on their bikes.

Ryan.

Two fingers snap in front of his face but all he manages for a reaction is a slow blink of his bloodshot eyes, and Bam is looking at him like he’s lost it. They both know he has.

“What?”

“We’re goin’ out, I told you this. C’mon.” Ryan rolls his eyes the way he does, subtle with a hint of absolute dickness, and does he mean to be rude? Yeah. He knows Bam knows - no going out, no clubs, no bars, no girls, no fucking anything, and he’s sick of having to explain it just because Bam hasn’t ever experienced anything like this. This utterly miserable form of existing, the longing, heart only managing to beat because that thought of her, of you, flashes and that spark goes off again. Bam doesn’t get it, Bam’s a kid, and all he knows is fake tans and silver eyeshadow, but Ryan knows love. Knows needing and desperation and wanting to be good for someone.

“No.”

“Dunn, fuckin’ - I told Dico you were comin’, man, now get your ass up. It’s getting fuckin’ pathetic. Look at you.”

“Why would you tell ‘im that?” Bam sighs and tilts his head to the side and back, his version of an eye roll, annoyed, caught between wanting his best friend to be there with him and wanting to be there for his best friend.

“I thought it might get you out.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Dunn.” Their eyes meet and Bam is challenging, daring him to get the fuck up and actually live for a moment, but Ryan isn’t budging, knows Bam already knows the answer, knew it before he even came around. “What the fuck ever, dude.” And he’s gone and Ryan’s alone again, and what else could he be if he isn’t with you?

---

It’s cold outside, Pennsylvania sucks in the winter, but you remind yourself it isn’t even winter, it’s October, and you’re just visiting. LA is only a plane away.

But LA doesn’t have that blonde boy ruffling through his ratty wardrobe for a sweater that’s probably been chewed on by mice, and it doesn’t have his pile of blankets on the floor, and it doesn’t have his dreary nothing of a room for you to hide out in with him, and it definitely doesn’t have his shy smile when he comes back to you with said sweater, eyes so big and gentle and bright in hopes of making you happy.

“Thank you,” you say it so soft, and he nods and leans down to kiss your forehead from where he’s sitting on his haunches, hands pulling the sleeves of the sweater over your own once it’s on so he can get you warmed up. So he can make you comfortable, take care of you.

“Looks better on you.. I bet the rats think so too,” he laughs and it’s quiet and everything feels so heavy but in a way that doesn’t make this world and the next collide, the kind that makes you want to stay here and soak it in, feel that ache and drown in it, in him.

“You think I’m gonna get a disease?”

“Probably.” You both grin and he lays down, pulling you on his chest, and the rhythm of your heart matches his, ribcages exhaling against each other, and you stare at the junk piled up against the wall and he stares at the ceiling, and both of you fall.

---

Someday I’ll get over you Waylon sings and Ryan almost has the heart to laugh because it’s the funniest goddamn joke he’s ever heard, but he can’t bring himself to do anything more than raise the beer bottle to his mouth and suck up the foam that he hates so much, but it’s better than the pain of wanting you.

No more invites to nights out, no more Raab calling to get together, no more Rake doing whatever shit Rake feels like doing to him. Bam doesn't let up though, he won’t. Tries to convince him that he’s gotta get past it, but Ryan knows love, remember? And Bam doesn’t get it, he’s such a little fucking kid, and Ryan’s eyes burn with tears when he thinks of it, thinks of how no one understands, no one’s ever gonna fucking understand.

His bum ass chewed up nails dig into his palm that isn’t soaked from condensation, muggy with the outside heat, the Pennsylvania heat you never got to experience because it was all over by March, and he hasn’t been able to go back inside and lay on that pile of blankets without the overwhelming need to jump off a cliff making him tremble.

He listens to country music no one else around can stand, which is good, keeps them away, keeps him miserable, and he’s fucked up. God, he’s so fucked up without you and he shakes and closes his eyes and tilts his head back and it’s hard to swallow this way, so the lump just sticks in his throat, eyes scrunched tight, everything burning.

You think I’m gonna get a disease?

You fucking are one he thinks and for the first time in a couple of months, he smiles, because you’d agree and the both of you would laugh and things would be okay.

[stackslip]

funniest and saddest thing in akis arc is right after aki meets kishibe after returning from hokaido and kishibe is like man living with them has to be a handful WHICH IS COMPLETELY TRUE we just followed a whole chapter of denji and power being utterly insufferable. like the absolute worst most exhausting duo of feral kids who aki cannot leave unsupervised for 5 seconds before they start eating week-old funerary offerings because as chaotic as they are individually as a duo they literally become 5 year olds who chop off limbs for fun. and akis like reluctantly WELL yeah theyre awful but like, theyve done so much progress, power no longer flings veggies across the room and very occasionally once in a blue moon denji actually pays attention to what i say. its so fucking funny kishibe is like "man youre a saint theyre exhausting. i mean i like them but boy are they tiring." and instead of bitching about it and agreeing aki fucking DEFENDS them. like "they dont shit over the furniture anymore, thats big progress, im proud of them." the bar is so low but listen theyre doing their best.

:readmore:

and then its followed by the immediate gobsmacking bitchslap of aki asking kishibe if he can abandon his life-long dream by withdrawing the trio from the gun devil expedition. his sole goal in life for years, it is so close, and he knows he has so little time left at all, and he gives it all up there and then. right after his trip with power and denji, the one they bullied him to join in. right after having to scold them and rein them in for two days straight like toddlers. less than a month after being confronted with the possibility of a world where neither of them are alive, and realizing that he cannot bear that possibility. it doesnt matter that he would be able to die finally fulfilling his dream of destroying the gun devil, of avenging all his losses, of going in peace. the idea of denji and power dying there, or being left with nothing when hes gone... its enough for him to give it all up. he's willing to spend whatever time is left seeing them fuck up his apartment and squabbling and just.... living, free of fear or danger. his sole goal now is to die with the certainty that they will both have a long and happy existence, that he'll have protected them and fulfilled his role as an older brother. he is fine with dying still! he has accepted it as long as theyre ok. he saw these two gremlins who were supposed to be everything he hated, he grudgingly himself take care of them bc he was asked to, grew used to them being in his life. and then he grew to love them, to love how much denji enjoyed his cooking, to love how power played with her cat, to enjoy their squabbling and appreciate the efforts they did make. these two feral strays with no manners grew to trust and rely on him, they started sharing the chores (with much complaining) and allowed themselves to be vulnerable with him, they clung to him when he wanted to leave for hokkaido. and aki fucking gives up on revenge! he gives up on fighting! he will not live for much longer, but he wont spend his remaining time on taking down the creature that has haunted his life. because he isnt alone now, he has a family hes grown to love and who loves him. he will spend these last few weeks teaching denji to cook himself, making sure power learns healthy eating habits. he will sit at the table and share meals with them and savour every last moment. its the only thing he wishes for anymore, he has nothing else, and yet he has more than he ever thought possible.

he finally allowed himself to love, to give up on revenge, to be at peace. its fuckjng gutwrenching that makima took that away from him, that he died not only as what he hated, but burdened with the knowledge that it was too late and that his family would suffer. he was willing to give everything over and over again, spent his last minutes begging for a way for power and denji to be happy. for power to live, for denji to not be burdened with grief and guilt. he never blamed denji when the future devil told him about how aki would die, he inherently knew that it would not be of the boys own volition and that it would wreck him. mere minutes left, spent begging for power and denjis lives. he didnt even get to realize or fight back, he didnt get to say goodbye. he died a mockery of himself, turned into an instrument of pain against his family. he died as a shambling corpse whose instincts guided him home, only to unknowingly destroy that home. he died because from the very start, makima *intended* him to love power and denji and take care of them, she was building this edifice so that the collapse would be that much more devastating. he died because makima understood the power and pain of real relationships and love, and it was all in the goal of punishing denji for being chosen by pochita. it was all because she never had it herself, and wanted it so badly, and aki and power were merely dolls for her to get what she thought she deserved. its so fucking cruel and evil and it is so fucking tragic for everyone involved including her.

but man akis arc is not "a lesson in the futility of revenge" or a punishment for his early singlemindedness. he did realize these things. he had them in his hands. he was going to succeed, he was protecting his family until the end. it's just that makimas control was so absolute, her chains so strong, he never had a chance anyway. none of them ever did!

[mourninglamby]

do you have any media you like but think the story kinda sucks but you can't let go of because youve liked it since ~12. sorry if this sounds weird I'm genuenly curious since I've seen other artists who suffer from this (self included)

well supernatural obviously but only because it was the funniest most enjoyable fandom ive ever rejoined when i became an adult following the Infamous Nov 5 Event. redwingnatural and birdiebrunchnatural will persist. i love finding secret good stories woven into an otherwise horrifically misogynistic clusterfuck because the writers are repressed enough to unconsciously insert nuanced aspects into the plot that Normal Ppl can latch onto. (looks at dsmp with bug eyes holding a giant rock)

but since ive kinda moved on completely from spn ... the walking dead forever. even tho i wish amc would burn in a big fire. i still stand by s1 and s3-5 being some of the best television evar... negan was great but then everything got too gay and dumb sigh. plus a ton of behind the scenes drama which is just common occurrence at amc nowadays also pisses me off. the recent carol/daryl spinoff drama is just the tip of this rotting iceburg.

OH FUCK ALSO... i do still think the black butler manga is really interesting and the creator (yana toboso) has changed a lot and matured quite a bit in recent years so its rlly nice to see grell being trans but not as a joke as well as the more dark shit being treated with WAY more respect. i remember when the chapter that confirmed a characters' sa dropped, yana posted on twitter something along the lines of "im rly nervous abt this and i hope i portrayed this respectfully" along with some other misc things abt how ashamed she is abt some of the earlier stuff lmfao. though i will admit it might just be my nostalgia lowering the bar. its still not the most digestible story out there and i totally get why ppl hate it. pretend the anime doesnt fucking exist also fuck that shit aside from book of circus and onward.

looking back on media i was into as a kid as an adult about to enter my 20's is probably one of the most healing journeys and investigations of the self ive ever been on. it sounds cheesy but like... understanding WHY i was drawn to certain stories and certain characters was definitely something that went hand in hand with me realizing a lot of fucked up stuff that happened to me as a child and its just really comforting knowing i can still look back at these things i found comfort in and enjoy them in a whole new light. it makes me feel like ive matured. it makes me feel self assured. :3

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

1.) The funniest part about this is how I haven't even written a Harrymort fic in a very long time cuz I've had no inspiration for it or HP in general. Also, if you consider it pedophilia to write about two consenting adults taking 200,000 words(and several years in-fic) to finally realize they like each other, then there is no hope for your reading comprehension. Stick to 3rd Grade Level stuff, pls. It'll save all of us the trouble.

2.) Dave is no slave. He is a dumbass. He is racist. Sexist. Homophobic. A liar. A cheater. A thief. A bum. Dave spent 1 1/2 years doing nothing as we dealt with homelessness. I wrote over 1 million words for pay to keep us in motels that entire time while he claimed his leg was too injured to work. And spent every day demanding to know, 'did anyone give us money yet?' cuz he wanted sweets. Dave got us into this mess by opening his mouth over things not his business. Dave lied about every step of the way here. He's literally being blackmailed cuz he thought he met a chick online who could lead to a quick fuck and instead was dumb enough to tell her all his personal business and now she's holding the well-being of his daughter and grandkids over his head if he doesn't pay her.

3.) I am the only person here who can take care of my mom 24/7. I'm literally her personal caregiver. I clean the house. I cook the food half the time. I am her legs for everything she can't manage. I'm also in terrible health and desperately need to see several doctors but every time we bring it up, Dave makes excuses over MOM'S van cuz he knows she can't defend herself and I can't see well enough to get a license. I haven't had my teeth looked at in 8 years and I haven't had an eye exam in 7. Dave bitches about having to take his own child to the doctor and was even willing to get in trouble with the school over not having her medical paperwork up to date. Mom hasn't been able to get her meds in over a year cuz Dave prioritizes ice cream over medicine and bitches when she won't give him money for snacks.

4.) I am Visually Impaired and Hard of Hearing. I cannot see and I struggle to hear all the ime. I am also colorblind. Stoplights either look off, or always yellow. I can't tell distances. I can't see details in things just a few feet away. You want me to actually do something, when I actively do what I am capable of. I'm not capable of much and the health conditions have piled on more and more.

5.) How you can dick ride for a man you don't even know is beyond me. How you can hear all this shit about him and think he's a swell guy and not a literal useless scumbag who can't even be bothered to keep his kid and grandkids safe from strangers on the internet, idk.

6.) How anyone could call Dave the innocent in this situation is laughable. Fuck the disabled woman he's betrayed countless times despite telling everyone they're fiancés and in love when he wants sympathy from people while he cheats with strange women he meets on Facebook. Fuck his daughter and grandchildren whom he has put in danger all for the sake of cheating. Fuck all the connections he's ruined in his life cuz his greed and obsession with racing put everything at risk. Fuck the fact that he can't even help us actually do the moving ANY of the times we've had to move because of him.

He's just a poor wittle man who can do no wong ever. T_T He's just so sad and hurt. He needs the big stwong Anon to come in an save the day. T_T

Sometimes you can just tell an incel wrote something, and this whole Anon was red flags from one side to the other. People who throw around the pedo accusation over a ship they don't like always end up being pedos themselves too. It's like clockwork. How bout you turn that finger back in your own direction, hun? Seek mental help and perhaps someone someday will finally give a damn about your existence. ^-^

Maybe if your daughter got up off her ass and helped out more especially in the past while instead of sitting around writing pedo fic about harry potter and Voldemort then you'd have got everything moved on instead of leaving till last second

She has no excuses

Dave is working his ass off providing for you all , for his faults and you begrudge him the slightest thing. If he left you'd all know about it - wouldn't know Ur ass from your elbow but u keep whining about him while being happy to take his money and see him slave for u. Yeah he's fucked up but fr he is a man under pressure he is gonna fuck up and do crazy shit that man is heading for nervous breakdown

Why doesn't your older daughter go to work instead of sitting on her big ass writing shit and playing video games 24/7. Why don't you apply for disability and keep trying cos I know it's hard. Bethy when she is bigger is gonna be hit with picking up the slack if I drive Dave off so u need to start looking for work too or disability so money is coming on

U wannabe a trad wife ok that's fine but when Ur man is cracking up etc you can't stay at home cleaning house etc id love for you to be safe and so do all that housewife stuff but you're in a crisis so you gotta toughen up and get working or more importantly your daughter has to

Ok, Coward, let's me take the trash out. @helly-watermelonsmellinfellon doesn't write pedo fics. You are either virginal and can't find anyone willing to touch you or you are jealous that you lack the talent to write. Frankly, I think it's both. Who would want to deal with such a vile piece of work like you?

Let's get something straight, you illiterate jackass. Dave is not my man. We have a child together. That's it.

Dave pays rent. I pay everything else. Oh, would you look at that. I PAY EVERYTHING ELSE. Do the math, dimwit. I don't take a damn dime from him. He does take money from me. Based on how you are trying to make it sound like you know Dave, it makes me wonder is you are the sleezeball that has been illegally blackmailing him.

And I don't know where you think you can come on Tumblr of all places and attack me and my family. You don't know jack shit about us. What you have read on Tumblr is just a drop in the bucket, you worthless piece of filth.

You send me this message trying to talk a big game but you hide behind the cloak of anonymity. You're too chicken shit to put a name to your comment. You're a nothing but a sorry ass joke that no one will ever take seriously.

Grow up, wonder skank.

BTW: Dave and I were never married. I detest marriage. I also detest cowards like you. So go pound sand.

@helly-watermelonsmellinfellon have at the bitch. I would love to see you tear this coward to shreds.

@mister-tom-a-dildo-lover

[theyarebothgunshot]

this is exactly how it went down in my head.

misha: hey, everything okay? do you need me to do something?

jensen: no, lay low. we’re figuring it out.

misha: got it.

— the next day —

misha: things settled. should i say anything? draw attention? stay neutral?

jensen: you don’t have to, but if you want, tread lightly. we’ve had enough chaos.

misha: say no more.

when nobody got your back you KNOW dmitri got your back.

ANYWAYS i turned my back for TWO MINUTES and y'all went the fuck off in my inbox so, you know the drill: more under the cut

NO BUT JENSEN’S RESPONSE LMAAAAAO honestly fallout theory is so on oh my God I can’t stop-

on god they are so loud like-

Worst damage control i've ever seen. god bles.

so true bestie

I think Jensen probably just wants to be done with this petty little drama, so if he has to pretend everything between them is okay he is going to be the bigger man and lay it to rest. Whatever is going on between them he definitely doesn't want to sort that out on social media and the earlier he pretends everything is sorted out the earlier people will forget about it again.

Also it's kinda funny how J*red Tweet was like implying they had a misunderstanding but still talk to each other regularly, while Jensen went full on the we grow apart a little bit, because we were busy, let's catch back up. Makes me wonder if they actually talked or if there managers just said hey that's not good pr, let's put that to rest. Also did J*red know before yesterday that they had a falling out or did he just not realize.

- 🐌 anon

literally jensen went out of his way to say 'uhhh we never talk, worstie' god if pr management is involved then they did a bad job. also j*red still does not realise they have fallen out. jshfjdsfh

Jackles was like God bless but we ain’t talking like this worstie

good for her.gif

csdsc heeft gevraagd:

All I need now is for Misha to tweet “ is it safe to come out now?” And I’ll be complete lmfao 😂😂😂

that would have been better than what we got lmfao

I have one fear and it's Jensen being forced to add j*red to his show and his other projects because he couldn't stop whining like a baby,,, ugh i hate him

i pretend i do not see

Kinda selfish of me tbh but i don't want them to be "friends" again, Jensen sweetie run as fast as you can

co-signed

Ok Jensen's answer to Jared tweet made me feel so bad for him. Like, I can see it's damage control and public relations (obviously) but there's stuff behind it. I can't name it, but idk, I felt terrible for texas man this time, I don't think that reply was written with a "love and light energy" or even without much care. I felt some heavy vibes.

- 🌻, who is now a fortune teller and a prophet apparently

yeah i feel hella bad for him to, for having to deal with this shit. nonnie please if you ever have anything to predict, lemme know sjdfhs

You know Jensen's tweet has the energy of like kindergarten wenn an other kid started a fight with you and the kindergarten teacher wants you to forgive each other and hung it out and you really don't want to, but your kindergarten teacher is being annoying and he isn't worth the annoyance either.

- 🐌 anon

you are not wrong

Incredibly thankful that I have the day off from work 😂 I'm with hatching chick anon, the 3 dots read as passive aggressive/insincere to me, and I love it! I haven't spent this many hours on tumblr since I first discovered cockles! (On a side note, the lack of fimmf posts today has me feeling like it's not friday lol) -🐢

i, too, miss fimmf but alas things happen, they do they do they do

I was right. :(

It got almost romantic...

👀

nonnie you know i love you but this is really not the case, like, at all??? idk how you could look at those tweets and think it was almost romantic. it was THEE most scripted, pr bullshit ever. it was staged and fake. idk what else to tell ya

Danneel liked Jensen's tweet

i saw

That is so so awkward I feel so sorry for all of us being exposed to this and so happy I chose to leave the Internet for half a day - tea anon

god bless your stance on that cause i would have hated missing out on this lmao

You know what? I think it’s okay being a 38 year old moron if you’re bringing us this type of content

im happy with the food but still think its not okay tbh

pspspsps Misha this is the perfect day for you to drop the gay Cas essay pspspspsp it is still pride month pspspsps

you know you want to king pspsps

So that JIB6 link (I think it was from your post, right?). I went and watched that bit, and a little more.

Jensen makes a comment about Jared being first on the call sheet because Sam was supposed to be the main focal character.

And that him nor Misha cared about what number they were, so in all that time it never changed.

And I’ll be… if that just doesn’t perfectly sum them up and their feelings on things. And how a certain someone can be petty… 🦚

idk if it was from my post? but maybe? my analysis probably? but yeah things are making more and more sense huh

Ohh that's also an alien? Welcome to the extraterrestial family then, purple alien anon!

Also it's probably because I'm coming off the high this drama gave me but I'm not looking forward to them trying so hard to convince us everything is normal between them. Even though we now Know, they will have to keep pretending. Today (yesterday?) was a shitshow but some masks fell off, at least for a moment and I kinda wish Jensen was less professional 😂

👽

oh for real, fallout theory IS confirmed and nothing they said today will change my mind, it only made me believe in it even more lmfao and with that in mind i am just gonna sip my tea if they try to be buddy buddy on main again

I THINK MISHA UNRETWEETED BUT HE TWEETED "LOVE AND MISS YOU BOTH" I'M LOSING MY DIGNITY HERE - tea anon

yeah he now answered them sjdfhsjfhsf instead of rt

MISHA COLLINS IS A KING I STAN THE RIGHT MAN

YOU SURE DO

I just know Misha’s process was oh crap I have to let people know I’m supporting them and I can’t choose sides. Ok. Retweet. NO. Delete. I love both of you. Yes, good.

sjdfsdfh this makes me think of that post that dissected jackles' birthday post for misha where he used the heart. 'call him bro, that makes it less obvious. nailed it.'

Lol I'm off for a few days and come back to total chaos... God I missed it here

Like the "et tu... #bravo" tweet? Made my day! Frikking hilarious (every time I see it I picture J*red with a pissy frech accent saying it out loud lol) it's just such an incredibly petty hissy fit he threw (I know he tweeted more later on but... Really all that stuff coming afterwards just sounds like damage control)

Missed you Rose

-🐻

LOVE the french accent detail im gonna do this too sdjfhsjfh missed you toooo!!!!

Oh man Misha is really gonna get hate for that I KNOW IT

sigh well. nothing he isnt used to by now, unfortunately

i mean i believe they feel like brothers, but constantly falling back on the “brother” thing to keep up appearances is really starting to feel like “#spnfamily” at this point.

honestly brothers can be very annoying, or so i have heard, so it fits with the fallout theory lmao

They actually said if we’re gonna make this gay we cannot have Jar*d Pad*lecki involved

oh my God this is the funniest timeline to ever exist God bless I’m just waiting to canon bi Mary

king shit tbh

[weirdo19]

My rwarb reading experience

I think Alex has a full blown crush on Henry without even knowing. Like I feel he’s confused about the difference between love and hate.

NOT ALEX FALLING ON TOP OF THE $75000 EIGHT TIER ROYAL WEDDING CAKE. I-

HOW DOES ONE DO THAT

OH GOD ALEX NO, POOR HENRY. POOR CAKE

HAHA IMAGINE BEING THE REASON WHY THERES A THREAT OF A SECOND ENGLISH-AMERICAN WAR BECAUSE YOU AND THE PRINCE FELL ON A CAKE HAHAHA

I love ellen, she’s funny. “ but as the president, all I want is to have the cia fake your death and ride the dead-kid sympathy into a second term” has me rolling on molly HAHA

Stan Ellen Claremont

AHHHH THE PHONE CALL WAS SO FUCKIN CUTE , RUN ME OVER

God why that sweater for Christmas Alex. Just why

ALEX YOUR NOT BEING A DRAMATIC ASSHOLE. You fucking deserve parents who don’t argue on every turn. It’s not your fault they can’t be adults and I get how tiring it gets. YOU ARE NOT A DRAMATIC ASSHOLE.

I just wanna give my baby a hug, poor Alex.

Wtf is a noogie 👁👄👁

I’m confused, does Alex know he’s gay or bi. Because he can’t not know that. ITS SO FUCKING OBVIOUS

NOT THEM DANCIN TO GET LOW

NOT ALEX FORGETTING THE CONFETTI CANONS

Oh god, poor Henry. My man really just watched his crush kiss someone else

AHHHHHHH THEY FUCKING KISSED, OMGGGGGG FÜCK YES

HOW THE FUCK DOES ALEX THINK HES STRAIGHT, YOUR THE FARTHEST THING FROM STRAIGHT.

ALEX PLS TELL ME HOW YOU THPUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT AFTER KISSING YOUR BEST FRIEND FOR AN HOUR ON HIS TWIN BED. HOWWWWWWW YOU DUMBASS

Eeeeeeeeeee Alex just called Liam. Idk how this is gonna go but let’s see.

I’m losing my shit at Henry humming god save the queen so his boner can go away. I can’t stop laughing.

He has diagrams, oh god he has diagrams.

AHHHHH ITS THE ICONIC LINE

“I’m very, very gay” is my new fav quote

I don’t like this friends with benefits thing, it makes me want to bash my head in.

HAHA OMG HENRY CALLING AMERICA THE OFF-BRAND ENGLAND IS EVERYTHING TO ME, ITS SO ACCURATE

I love the karaoke bar scene it’s cute

“Bisexuality is truly rich and complex tapestry” is such an iconic line and i fucking agree

Page 202 is so adorable I might puke

I’m going to fucking THROTTLE LUNA

I’m so fucking glad Alex has Henry. I love them so much

I love zahara, she’s is so funny and such a mood.

I can’t stop laughing, not a fucking PowerPoint. I fucking love Ellen

“Exploring your sexuality: healthy, but does it have to be with The prince of English” slide has me rolling on molly. This is so funny

I’m weeping, the letters 😖

Page 264 and 265 should be illegal and not okay. I’m crying my eyes out.

Alex going to see Henry has me crying

Chapter ten should not fucking exist. That bitch broke me.

Okay maybe i forgive Casey for the beginning of chapter ten since she gave me the V&A scene. “I’m taking a picture of a national gay landmark, and also a statue”

YAYYYYY WE GOT THE LETTERS BACK

I’m about to beat the crap out of Philip

I take my forgiveness back, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SCENE WITH ALEX AND RAF. 😭

I-, page 322. That’s it that’s all I have to say

I SWEAR TO GOOD PHILIP IF YOU DONT SHUT UP IM GOING TO MURDER YOU IN THE MOST BRUTAL WAY THINKABLE

YES HENRYYYYYY IM SO PROUDDDDD, TELL IT TO HIM

Omg zahara and Shaan high fiving because they had sex is the greatest and funniest thing ever. It gives me Jim and Pam vibes from the office

“I’ve been gay as a maypole since the day I came out of mum, Philip” AND THE CROWD GOES WILDDDDDD

The world wide support has me bawling my eyes out

YES MOMMA CAT, QUEEN SHIT

STAN ELLEN CLAREMONT AND CATHERINE FOX-MOUNTCHRISTEN-WINDSOR

Omg the mural, I need someone to draw that scene pls

I swear to god if Richards doesn’t get his ass thrown in jail I’m gonna throw some hand ✋

AHHHHH THE SPEECH AHEHEHE HER NDNDBRB AHHHHHHHHHHH

Ughhhhh okay fine, I forgive Luna

So what your telling me is that Jeffrey Richards is basically trump

June saying “I majored in nouns” is so fucking funny

Also can we talk about how Liam and Alex are okay, LIKE YAYYYYYY

SHE WON FUCK YES, STAN THE TWO TERM PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, ELLEN CLAREMONT BITCHES

AHHHHHH I JUST FINSHED IT AND ITS PERFECT, I LOVE THIS BOOK SO FUCKING MUCH

[mayisnotokay]

Somewhat Spoiler free list of things in the Sonic The Hedgehog movie that almost made me shit my pants

1. THREE consecutive Olive garden ad placements

2. Sonic has a mom apparently and shes a giant owl and only exists to appease the furry overlords

3. Sonic commits multiple accounts of treason

4. Jim Carey just straight up calls the main guy a son of a bitch

5. Sonic DESTROYS the pyramid of giza

6. They copied the slow motion quick silver scene from the xmen movies

7. Sonic gets into a fucking bar fight

8. Seriously he just beats the shit outta like 15 dudes

9. Sonic kidnaps a woman in her own house

10. Sonic fucking DIES (almost)

11. TWO mellow yellow ad placements

12. Sonic fucking DIES (almost) part 2

13. The first time he almost dies a kid in the back of the theater just started screaming and I dont blame him

14. One Zillow ad but it's the most obvious and was the funniest thing In the whole movie

15. Fr I lost my shit at this the main guy is looking for apartments and the camera just pans over to his computer and hes like "HM.. look at all these great deals I found on ZILLOW DOT COM" and it's just a giant logo and stock photos of apartments on the screen

16. Sonic fortnite dance like 3 times and every time he does I can feel myself age twenty years

17. Sonic is a DICK

18. Sonic breaks every traffic law and commits at LEAST 3 felonies

19. KNUCKLES ISNT IN THE MOVIE AT ALL AND IM PISSED

20. Jim Carey's assistant in the movie has a kink for being treated like shit and its OBVIOUS

21. The sexual tension between jim Carey and his assistant is the most uncomfortable thing I've ever experienced.

22. THEY MADE THE SANIC MEME CANON

[rickriordanfandam]

opinions on riordanverse ; my edition

a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!

- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG

- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)

- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up

- PIPABETH

- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?

- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny

- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him

- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear 

- luke didnt go to elysium

- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were  thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such

- tratie shldve been canon idc idc

- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.

- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing 

- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks

- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone

- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while

- tkc and mcga need more love

- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes 

- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was

- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute

- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own

- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND

- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.

- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.

“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below) 

for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/ 

as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture 

i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry 

- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong. 

- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up.  the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic

i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more