#the french defense

[the-navistar-carol]

Sometimes, the fic premise does not matter. Let me say that again.

Sometimes, the fic premise does not matter.

What matters is how fucking funny the author is.

I just finished a Ron/Fleur fic set over the course of GoF and then the sequel takes place over OotP, and let me be clear, I have never even considered this pairing. I started it because of the focus on chess, the romance was a bit iffy, but that DOES NOT MATTER because the author is funny as FUCK.

The best part about Harry Potter fics, whenever I fall back into that inescapable pit, is when the authors write them as the little shitbag teenagers they really should be.

OBSERVE:

Go read it or I will hunt you DOWN

[lovethytendytenderly]

Alpha Dog by Fall Out Boy // an edit a day til penguins hockey, a countdown (day 29)

x x

[cry-ptidd]

"And she had brown eyes like a lamb, innocent and golden"

[solargeist]

I’ve thought abt it a lot and decided I don’t feel comfortable anymore uploading ~suggestive jokes or ~spicy ship act here, there’s simply too many people, it freaks me out a bit !! Even when I tag it properly, I worry, I don’t want to bother anyone.

I’ll still upload regular ship art here tho, but like, French kissing or ~beyond, no not here.

Soooooo I made a side blog for suggestive posts n jokes. But I’m not gonna promote it here. Lol. You’ll have to go out and find it.

this is just for safety and comfort reasons, nothing crazy

[tabooi]

Carla Pullen as Buffy filming Race 2 (+ all the racers getting their picture taken ^-^)

[1nt3rnalpu7ref4ct10n]

s4e17

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Sometimes incorrect quotes are taken a little too seriously

[musingsofahistorymajor]

The Women of Masters of the Air - 1x04

Civilian

French Resistance

Red Cross Clubmobile

Civil Defense Service Air Raid Warden

[boeing747]

you try to turn it off but youre too turned on by it

[worshippdsun]

alexa play i bet on losing dogs by mitski

[pyrofromtf2real]

"She's not here, is she?"

[panikkoi]

i care him

[lovethytendytenderly]

A Creature Comforts not!fic aka Goalies That nest Together Stay Together

prompt: Prompt 12. “Alpha, I’ve seen the way you look at (other Alpha/Beta/Omega), how about we invite him to spend my Heat/your Rut with us?” but nesting bc i don't wanna deal with secondary gender shit

Tanger/Jars/Ned (Tanger/Jars+Ned, Ned/Jars)

(Established past sidflower nest buddies - maybe side sidgeno)

The fic starts about a week before Tristan's nest. Tristan spends most of it in various levels of pre-nesting. The date is *mumble* the part of the season is ? and the schedule is not important. They end up on the road at some point and then are back in Pittsburgh the next day. Don’t question it. I am going for vibes not realism. This is a notfic.

~~~~_X_~~~~

Tristan nests regularly enough nowadays, once or twice a season. He didn't nest his first couple years in the NHL but being the guaranteed starter flipped a switch in Tristan's head and he's been a happy penguin ever since. Kris is the only person Tristan has nested with. At first, Kris couldn't believe Tristan would pick him, but they've been pretty exclusively partnered (in and out of the nest) since. They don't live together during the season for reasons. PO is definitely living with Tanger. It's pretty much expected that Tristan is going to nest with Tanger. That's what Tristan and Kris have been prepping for. That's what everyone has told the newbies. It's what he's always done. This nest shouldn't be any different except its day 3 of pre-nesting and Tristan isn't able to get comfortable enough to nap unless he's face planted into Ned's neck.

Tristan has been seeking Ned out for a while now, enamored with his new backup and the tandem bond (normal friendship not metaphysical nonsense) they've been building this season. Kris has eyes. Tristan might be better at watching but Kris knows how to keep his head up and his eyes on his goalie. (they’re not poly, but theyre not not poly. Kath and the kids may be around in a separated but not divorced status, idk. they've definitely had other partners and hookups but are mostly monogamous to each other). So while Tristan was busy stealing stuff from all of their teammates and prepping his nest, Kris was watching the way he was circling Ned - like he wants to pull him close and clamp down with his teeth and never let go but is afraid of scaring him off but also like he has no idea that he's even doing it. He’s also noticed the increase in Tristan's insomnia and the scents (and the players they belong to) that ease it. It's the usual collection of him, Geno, the defense, and Jake, with Karl and Ned being notable additions this year.

Ned, on his side of things doesn't even seen to notice the strangeness in Tristan's behavior. Or maybe he just assumes it’s nesting stuff and is leaving it alone. Kris doesn't know much about Ned's nesting history on his previous teams and its not really something you ask a goalie unless you're being actively invited into their nest or there’s a problem. This is the opposite of a problem. Kris knows that Ned was surprised by the lounge space set aside for the goalies with the permanent nesting rooms in the back, one for both the starting and backup goaltender. The nice thing about having a relatively new arena is Flower made his complaints about the Igloo very well known when they asked the players for feedback during the construction of Consol, and being Flower, with Sid as his partner, he got his wish. Tristan has reaped the benefits of it, even if Flower remains a sore spot in the arena.

Kris is paying attention is what I'm saying, and it's clear Tristan is not. Its after Tristan seeks Ned out for a pregame nap (literally leaving Kris in their shared hotel room) that Kris knows he needs to intervene. They need to talk about Ned. They need to talk to Ned. Kris is not jealous. Tristan is very much still into him and has not been showing any signs of not wanting him in the nest. That's not what the conversation they have to have is about. It’s very clear to Kris that Tristan wants Ned in the nest and Kris would rather have that conversation now, and not when Tristan is so deep in nesting that he’s nonverbal and hellbent on getting his way. As hot as Kris finds getting dragged into Tristan's nest by Tristan's teeth in his wrist (sleeve usually since it's not a safe place to bite too hard), Ned deserves words so he knows what he's agreeing too.

Kris has a list of examples that make it pretty damn clear that Tristan is courting Ned, but the most damning example was practice earlier when Jars refused to get out of the net except to give it to Ned. Tristan can't see the way he’s gravitating towards Ned but Kris is like you wouldn’t let Andy have the net for practice but you immediately gave it to Ned without hesitation. Not even Flower shared like that.

Kris is like do you want to invite Ned into your nest and Tristan gets blushy and reticent but it’s definitely a yes and Kris is so fucking soft so of course he’ll give Tristan anything he wants.

The conversation is the wake up call Tristan needed to go “oh right I shouldn't do everything based on instinct I kinda need to verbally invite Ned into my nest. Shit I want to invite Ned into my nest.”

Kris is smug. Unfortunately for Kris, Tristan immediately turns his best pleading eyes on him and is like you gotta be there for this convo cause youre gonna be in the nest too.

(note idk if this is plat nesting or sexual nesting - probably both - but while I’m in the mood for intimacy I am not in the mood to write sex. There's definitely room to add sex between Tristan and Tanger if horniness is part of pre-nesting. I could see Tristan getting himself off to thoughts/scents of Ned without realizing)

Ned of course has noticed some of Jars' clinginess and made his own assumptions. (No shame to Ned, he's doing his best with limited information). The problem is when Tanger tries to pull him aside to talk to him by himself (Jars got pulled aside by a trainer), Ned is like "ah, the other shoe has dropped. I’m about to get yelled at by my defenseman for messing with my nesting goalie partner. oh no."

Ned "smartly" decides to get the hell out of dodge and spends the next day and a bit avoiding Tanger which means he’s also accidentally avoiding Jars. This makes Tristan itchy because he doesn’t realize why he can’t find Ned. (Ned deserves soft things, of which his nest has many, and also Tristan wants cuddles. How dare Ned be MIA when Tristan wants cuddles).

This lasts all of a day before Kris sends PO over as a peace offering to talk to Ned instead. Not about nesting stuff per se, but the conversation has the general vibe of "if you won’t talk to my work dad/landlord about your reciprocated crush on dad’s partner then I guess you have to talk to me because no one wants a grumpy nesting goalie and that's where Jarry is headed. I've seen the aftermath when Jars is happy, I do not want to see the marks he leaves when he's upset"

(A happy Jars is a bitey Jars. PO doesn't want to see the evidence of Jarry being upset) (Jokes on PO an upset Tristan is way less likely to actually bite his partners and instead will probably self soothe by biting himself. This is only cute when its to stifle noises during sex, not as a stim. The amount of silicon stim toys he goes through during the stressful parts of the season is so many, he just doesn't use them around certain parts of the team because he doesn't want toddler or dog jokes. Rusty is Tristan's safe space for stimming. He bought Tristan his first chew back when they were both in WBS and Rusty was stimming through his speech therapy practice).

PO does not want to be here, having this conversation with Ned, but he promises Ned that Kris isn’t mad. Tanger is protective of his goalies but he's not mean, especially to a teammate who has done nothing wrong. (He’s not mad. He's not even disappointed. He just needs Ned and Tristan to talk to each other and neither are helping him so he's feeling exasperated).

Off in the corner actually practicing during practice is Sid who is like “the weird goalie shit is no longer my responsibility don’t get me involved but also Ned if you need help I’m right here.” Geno, A on his sweater, is standing next to Sid, putting off extreme “we’re not getting involved but also if someone is mean we will absolutely get involved” vibes. Geno will absolutely not meddle in his teammates' interpersonal drama — unless of course someone gives him big enough puppy dog eyes in which case he will absolutely make Sid meddle in his teammates' interpersonal lives.

Anyway PO has pulled Ned aside to see what the problem is and also make sure Ned knows that Tanger isn’t mad but the couple does want to talk to him, preferably together. Ned tells PO that he's not talking to both of them at once, so they put their heads together and concoct a plan where PO distracts Tanger while Ned goes to talk to Jars.

Kris knows exactly what PO is doing when PO drags him to lunch away from the rink after practice. (PO is not subtle and only pretended for Ned’s sake because Ned wants to believe Tanger is distracted). Kris is the one who sent him there in the first place so it doesn't matter how terrible a liar PO is since he was in on it from the beginning. If it makes Ned comfortable enough to talk to Tristan then Kris counts it as a win. He wants to be there to make sure Tristan uses his words because Tristan likes to not do that. If one on one is what it takes however, c'est la vie.

Alex (Ned) dilly dallies after PO has successfully lured Tanger out of the arena for lunch, but dutifully goes to find Jarry. Jake has that look in his eye like if Alex hangs around the locker room long enough he's going to ask what's wrong and Alex refuses to have another embarrassing conversation with one of Jarry's friends today. Might as well get rejected now. It takes him a bit to locate Jarry, but the process of elimination means he’s probably hanging out in the goalie lounge.

The lounge is something rather unique to the Penguins in Ned's experience. It's basically a large room with a kitchenette in one wall, two doors set into the other, its own bathroom and shower through another door, and chairs and couches in the middle to hang out. It’s explicitly for the goalies only, no skaters or coaches allowed unless by invitation. Tanger, Alex has come to find, has a free pass to hang out as much as he wants. Everyone else gets turned away. It's the perfect place to nap in the arena because it's away from the hubbub and noise of the locker room and other player lounges. It also has their nests. Which made it doubly the perfect place to find his goalie partner who was close to actually nesting soon.

When Ned gets to the lounge, Jars is asleep on a couch facing away from the door, face shoved into a hoodie, door to his nest wide open. (The lounge door was locked when Ned got there—the only ppl with a key are Tags, Ned, Kris, Sid, and Sully— and the only people who would enter without knocking or an invitation are Tanger and himself). Tristan has absolutely acknowledged what his instincts were telling him and is prepared to have a verbal conversation with Ned. Tristan is not however immune to making a big gesture and there is no way Tristan could be more obvious about wanting to share his nest with Ned unless he was naked in Ned’s jersey.

Tristan didn't mean to fall asleep but Ned left his hoodie in the lounge and this deep into pre-nesting and with the way his insomnia is he curled up with Ned's #39 hoodie and started dozing almost immediately after sitting down to wait. Tristan is still probably a day or two from fully nesting - maybe less depending on how the next game goes. He’s good to sit on the bench tonight but it’s a good thing Ned is starting. (Tristan is looking forward to watching tonight for once. Plus the rest of the team is extra touchy when he's on the bench during pre-nest so he gets lots of backslaps and fistbumps and casual attention from the coaches and equipment guys).

In the present moment he's asleep when Ned walks into the lounge and sees a door wide open that he never expected to see the other side of. Behind him the lounge door swings shut and closes with a quiet click. Alex can't spare a moment to feel grateful that nobody else can walk in on this as everything in him is focused on the room before him.

Alex doesn't know what he expected when he signed with the Pens. He figured it would be a chance to stay in the NHL, a one year tryout on a new team as he worked to make his game competitive again. What he got was a team that really cared about its goalies —both of them —nowhere more clearly was that displayed than the fact that both of them had nesting rooms inside the arena set aside for them to use even when they were not nesting. Even the ahl goalies had rooms they could use somewhere in the bowels of the arena in case they got called up and something happened. Jars was always fussing with his; bringing bedding and trinkets to the arena before disappearing into his room with them and not emerging until later.

In contrast, Alex hadn't done much to spruce up the semi-generic hotel room he had been left with after DeSmith had been traded and the room cleared out. The odds of him needing to nest this year were rather low and he didn’t want to get attached since it was only one year. He had some Pens stuff in his room along with some old red blankets he'd brought with him from his previous teams. A couple of his new teammates had insisted on giving him jerseys so they were neatly folded in the chest of drawers next to a spare change of clothes he kept in case he didn't want to go home to get changed. The most personal thing that he'd added to his room was his goal puck from Wilkes Barre earlier in the season. It felt right having it at the arena and he'd brought his other pucks too so they'd all be together. They sat in a pile next to the bedside table, his goals, shutty puck, and first win with each of his teams. Chopper had seen the pile and offered to build him something, but Alex didnt feel comfortable asking during the season.

Alex's first instinct is to leave the lounge and come back later. He can't hear Tristan making any noise in the nest and he doesn't want to intrude on the other goalie's territory. His curiosity gets the better of him and before he knows it he's in the doorway to Jars' nest.

Jars' nest is different than Alex's. The walls are painted a light blue-gray color and it seems like every surface is covered in either blankets or jerseys. The overhead light is turned off but it doesn't matter because the room is softly lit by two bedside lamps that shed dim light and fairy lights that cover practically the whole ceiling, illuminating everything.

Alex finds himself drawn into the room, unable to resist touching everything. He can see the jerseys the team had surrendered earlier in the week woven in among the blankets on the bed, but what surprised him was how many other jerseys there were in the room. Alex recognizes the designs on some of them - the current third jersey, last year’s reverse retro - while others he's unfamiliar with - the bright yellow one looks like it should belong to a Preds player more than the Penguins if not for the logo on the chest. Some of the names and numbers he recognizes from the team and former Penguins he's met between games and traveling but not all of them. He catches sight of a 53 on the edge of the bed and a 6 on top of another jersey near the left bedside table, a nameplate with -vist half visible under it. The number 58 is unavoidable. Everywhere he looks there's 35s and 58s tucked in among the other numbers. The whole room feels cozy. It should stink worse than the locker room, especially with the sweaty game jerseys from earlier, but instead it just kinda smells like Tristan.

After doing a lap of the room, Alex finds himself just sort of lightly running his fingers over an ice blue blanket that reminds him of the color of the midwinter sky. It's one of the softest things he’s ever felt and if Jars doesn't kill him for being in his nest he wants to know where he got it. He wants one for his bed at home. At some point while this is happening, Tristan wakes up from his nap and quietly stumbles his way to the doorway of the nest.

Tristan lingers in the doorway, the hoodie he was sleeping on half on him, but putting it on properly isn't as important as watching the look of awe on Ned's face as he explores Tristan's nest. Tristan feels fondness bubble up inside his chest and he feels like he’s about ready to start purring from the way his instincts are singing. The only thing missing is Kris but Tristan knows he’s a big boy who will show up when he’s needed. His sleepy brain knows Kris was busy with something, but it's okay, Kris always comes home to him. He's not worried.

Tristan was a little skeptical when Kris asked if he wanted to nest with Ned because he’s never really wanted to nest with anyone but Kris. Seeing Ned here is everything he didn’t know he was craving. Tristan 0, his instincts (and also Kris) 1.

Tristan would probably be content to stay there forever but eventually Ned notices him in the doorway. Tristan can tell the moment it happens because Ned stiffens up and his body language goes tight. The sight of Ned's hunched shoulders pulls a wounded noise out of Jars chest which just further serves to drive Ned's shoulders higher around his ears.

Tristan abandons the doorway to walk up to Ned and pull him into a hug. Ned can't hide his flinch when Tristan first makes contact but he doesn't pull away or prevent tristan from getting his arms around him. It takes Ned a couple of moments to realize that nothing bad is happening, its Just one of Tristan's octopus hugs like he gets after good games. After a few seconds, Ned lets himself relax into the hug unsure what Tristan is doing. Tristan takes Ned relaxing as his cue to gently take the blanket from Ned's hand and lead him out of the nest. Tristan would love to just kiss Ned right there and hope the other goalie understood what he wanted, but he promised Kris he'd use his words so that meant talking.

Tristan doesn't take Ned far. He leads Ned back to the couch that he was sleeping on a short while ago, awkwardly shoving the nest door closed on their way past. It takes Ned a moment to realize that he's supposed to sit down, but when he does the seat is still warm from Tristan's nap. Tristan goes to sit down next to Ned and is stopped by their intertwined hands. Neither of them are sure when they started holding hands, but Tristan is not going to let Ned go that easy. In Tristan's other hand is the blanket. He takes a moment to carefully wrap it around Ned before plopping down on the couch. It takes everything in Tristan to not crawl into Ned's lap and go back to sleep but talking. He promised talking. (Tristan really does not want to talk but Ned's eyebrows are doing that thing where they try to hide how freaked out Ned is feeling and does not want that. Ned should not be upset while wrapped up in his nest.

For Alex, he has no idea what is going on but all of Jars' nonverbal cues have been nonthreatening, if not outright affectionate, so he's doing everything he can to calm his fight or flight instincts and not bolt. He promised PO and by proxy Tanger that he'd work this out. They have a game tonight. He can't upset his top defenseman and backup goalie. Sully would shout and everyone would be mad and probably take Jarry's side cause he's clearly fucked up tresspassing in Jars’ nest. Jars is just too nice to yell at him inside his nest. Okay that doesn't explain him wrapping him in the blanket but that's the other reason Alex hasn't fled — its so soft and it feels safe. Alex isn't going to make the first move tho. Jars can stare all he wants but Alex isn't saying shit.

They stare at each other in silence for a moment before Tristan decides this is bullshit and sits up to shift positions on the couch so that they can face each other better. As he does this, Tristan also realizes hes half wearing a hoodie and shrugs it on the rest of the way. The number 39 is unmistakable on his chest and startles an appreciative noise out of Ned. Tristan feels a smile break out into his face. He hadn't been totally sure if Ned was even interested in him that way, but all signs had pointed to yes.

"You know I'm nesting, right?" Tristan asked for a lack of a better opening.

Ned nodded.

"I've also kind of been all over you this week. —Thanks for that by the way. You do not have to humor me when I get like that."

"Of course I would. I'd be a pretty terrible hockey player if I couldnt take care of a nesting goalie. Plus us goalies gotta stick together against the skaters. Its not like the forwards are going to protect the net like it should be." Ned joked, trying to lighten the mood and shift the topic to one of their favorites, dragging their forwards for their pitiful backchecking. Unfortunately for him Tristan was a man on a mission.

"Kris and I had a conversation the other day. Thats actually why we wanted to talk to you —“

"Look if you need me out of here thats fine. We have a game tonight but after that I can stay as far away as you need me until your nesting period is over." Ned interrupted Tristan to say.

"I. The opposite. Please dont leave." Tristan reached out to grab Ned's hand from where it was worrying the edge of the blanket. Tristan took a deep breath and started over. "Kris mentioned that he’s noticed me doing courting behaviors. At you. He uhhh was pretty specific about it too. So, uhh, do you want to join us in my nest?"

Ned looked skeptical and every moment he didn't say anything made Tristan want to curl in on himself and hide. Damn the talking method, instincts based courting had worked for him in the past, he's doing that from now on.

Finally Ned took a breath, squeezed the hand Tristan was still holding, and said "Your nest?"

"Yeah. I'd uhh really like it if you were there. With me. Us. Kris—Tanger would be there too. If that's a dealbreaker. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, but I want to spend it with you. Both of you."

"This wasn't what i was expecting when PO said you wanted to talk to me."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes."

"Cool." Tristan felt a big smile break out across his face. Ned returned one that looked equally joyful.

There was something bubbly in Tristan's gut that he usually only felt during buzzer beating big saves and the best wins. His smile was feeling big and giddy. He started to lean forward but the voice in the back of his head that sounded a little like a certain exasperated quebecois grumbled about words.

"Can I kiss you? We can talk about nesting and stuff later but I really want to kiss you now."

Ned nodded, smile still on his face, so Tristan leant forward and pressed his smile against Ned's.

They probably spent too much time making out on the couch like teenagers because eventually Tristan's phone buzzed with a text from Kris wondering where he was.

(End cause I dont want to write more or figure out if its plat/nonsexual nesting, semi-plat, or sexual nesting. Tanger enjoys having another person to help him spoil Jars. Alex likes getting to know the both of them better. If this is sexual nesting, Alex is not as into biting as both Tanger and Jars Kris and Tristan are but he still walks out of the nest with his own set of marks.)

Bonus bc this would be post post fic ie after nesting: Tristan also has his goal puck in his nest. Both the ahl and nhl pucks. Ned’s ahl pucks are in his nest. By the end of the fic both of their pucks are in a big pile together on one of the dressers.

[probablygayattorneys]

Pride flag for Verity Gavèlle 💙🤍❤️

[nesiacha]

In défense for Jacques René Hébert

Jacques-René Hébert (1757-1794)

Warning:

I really dislike Hébert. Even if his defense was made easier by the fact that I like some characters described as Hébertists and adore Momoro (my favorite faction of the French Revolution is the ultra-revolutionary faction, even though I know they also committed unforgivable acts given the hellish situation they were in). Historian Gérard Walter aptly summarized my view of Hébert, calling him a mediocre politician and a journalist of rare vulgarity. I would add more, describing him as a precursor to reality TV with the false persona he portrayed. Therefore, some sentences do not reflect my true opinions. However, my goal is to defend him as a lawyer would, within the context of the French Revolution. Hence, it is normal for me to refer to Louis XVI as a tyrant or something else. You can also choose to play the role of jurors or simply state whether you acquit him or not, as you wish.

The défense

Citizens, I have the great honor of being mandated by the Revolutionary Tribunal to restore the truth and honor of Jacques René Hébert, who has been defamed for far too long. There exists a black legend regarding Citizen Hébert, who still awaits the rehabilitation he has well deserved.

Citizen Hébert was born on November 15, 1757, in Alençon. His father was a master goldsmith, and rumors suggested that his mother belonged to the nobility, but there is no evidence to support her noble status. Far from being the uncultured character he is often portrayed as, Hébert became a prosecutor's clerk, though he had to leave this profession in 1780 and sought refuge in Paris. Some say this was due to a romantic adventure that brought him trouble, while others claim it was to escape a heavy financial penalty in a personal matter. Perhaps it was both, but in any case, he was in charge of managing theater box rentals at the Théâtre des Variétés from 1787-1788. Contrary to the black legend we must dispel regarding Citizen Hébert, there is no evidence that he stole any funds.

Citizen Hébert distinguished himself in revolutionary activities more significantly in 1790 when he began publishing the newspaper "Le Père Duchesne." Contrary to a widespread belief, likely propagated to discredit him, Hébert was not the inventor of the Père Duchesne character nor the first to use such language in his paper. There were two types of newspapers like this, including "Père Duchêne" by Abbé Jumel. Hébert outcompeted his rivals, and although he initially admired the tyrant Louis Capet, as did many French who were deceived, he still denounced the abuses suffered by the poor at the hands of the rich, the scandals of the court, and the moral failures of certain priests who nevertheless preached virtue. Citizen Hébert also highlighted social issues and showed great sensitivity to the lives of workers: he advocated for better social assistance for elderly fathers whose children were Sans Culottes and for the organization of elementary education for their children. All this earned him well-deserved success.

Far from being a failed and mediocre journalist, the facts I have presented demonstrate that Citizen Hébert was dedicated to the rights of the people.

Moreover, once the tyrant attempted to flee, Hébert abandoned royalism and became a genuine republican, having opened his eyes to the nature of the monarchy. He continually attacked the tyrant’s duplicity regarding his frequent use of vetoes, which further impeded the rights of the people. Hébert also became a member of the Cordeliers Club in 1791 and entered political functions on August 10, 1792, within the Paris Commune, becoming a spokesperson for the Sans Culottes.

The fact that he did not succeed in being elected to the Convention, unlike other journalists, should not lead one to believe that Citizen Hébert was incapable of holding important positions or that he was unpopular. Evidence of his capability is his election as deputy prosecutor of the Paris Commune, and in addition to his work, he joined the Jacobin Club in January 1793. This shows that he was becoming increasingly active. We should also remember that he openly applauded the abolition of slavery, as evidenced by one of his articles titled "La grande joie du père Duchèsne au sujet de la fête que les Sans-Culottes ont célébrée dans le Temple de la Raison, en réjouissance de l'abolition de l'esclavage des négres" on 1 Ventôse An II. We are thus far from the heartless man depicted by the black legend concerning Citizen Hébert.

Regarding the accusations that Hébert was bloodthirsty due to the political group called the Girondins, I must remind you of historian Jean Clément Martin’s statement that the Girondins were sent to the scaffold because they failed to send the Montagnards or the Sans Culottes there. Indeed, before the insurrection of May 31 and June 2, 1793, Citizen Hébert was arrested, likely due to his articles. When some Sans Culottes came merely to request his release, Isnard made a speech threatening the destruction of Paris. Therefore, besides showing that the opponents of the Cordeliers and Jacobins would not have hesitated to use the guillotine, we see that Citizen Hébert was capable of inspiring great loyalty. Following this insurrection, his newspaper gained significant success, and for good reason.

Finally, on September 5, 1793, he was part of a group that invaded the Convention following disastrous events that further endangered our glorious revolution. With many Sans Culottes, he demanded necessary and salutary measures such as price controls and the raising of a revolutionary army.

Some may criticize Citizen Hébert for continually demanding the death penalty. I would respond that while it is true that innocents sometimes suffered from these accusations, it was not Hébert who made these decisions, although we cannot absolve him of responsibility. It was the Convention, the Committee of General Security, and the Committee of Public Safety that voted for the arrests. When he demanded texts in his journal, it is easy to forget the context: the betrayal of Dumouriez, who handed over the Minister of War and others to the enemy, and the treason of two French admirals that resulted in Toulon falling into English hands. Citizen Hébert, like many French revolutionaries, was exasperated and worried, knowing that royalist threats were not empty. Of course, there were innocent generals whose heads Hébert called for, such as General Custine, but we must see his actions in context without excusing them.

Concerning the false accusation against Marie Antoinette regarding her son, I do not wish to absolve Citizen Hébert of this horrible affair, but he was not the only one responsible. Yet, some want to make it seem as though he alone was to blame, while citizens like Pache, Chaumette, and Jacques Louis David were also involved. He is clearly not solely responsible.

I must say that Hébert's attacks on Danton were entirely justified given the evidence we now have. Nevertheless, certain members of the Committee of Public Safety, including Robespierre, preferred to target Hébert before Danton, likely due to the campaign of de-Christianization. But remember this: without excusing those who wanted to force de-Christianization, we should recall that not long ago, many religious fanatics infantilized the people, constantly making prohibitions against them (remember the Callas affair or that of the Chevalier de La Barre). However, we should not forget that Hébert did not hate Christians, as he often referred to the Sans Culotte Jesus. Therefore, this hatred was primarily directed at clergy, especially those who were resistant to our glorious revolution or those who maintained a hypocritical attitude in their functions, although some might attribute Hébert’s remarks about Jesus to an attempt to temper his criticisms. Nevertheless, he was a victim of an unjustifiable parody of a trial.

It is important to remember the context of the insurrection, recalling the harsh winter of 1793-1794, and that the Cordeliers Club, where Hébert was very popular, was among the most sensitive to the suffering of the working classes. This was one of the reasons for the insurrection, and we should not forget that ultimately, people like Hébert were right to distrust the Ventôse laws, as they were eventually not enforced.

He was the victim of a parody of a trial, wrongly accused of sabotaging food supplies. As historian Antoine Resche states in his mini-biography of Citizen Hébert, to "fabricate a flimsy case, a few more or less dubious foreign figures were added to the list of accused, and Hébert was executed as the leader of a rather disjointed group." Their arrests were politically motivated. Many laughed at Hébert’s execution, noting his calls for heads and his eventual breakdown. I must point out that his wife, Marie Françoise Goupil, was arrested shortly after him and claimed to be pregnant—whether this was true or not, I hope not—to avoid execution, yet she was executed 20 days later.

However, Camille Desmoulins is absolved for his behavior on the scaffold because it was believed he wept for Lucile and was more lenient than Hébert. If we accept this excuse for Desmoulins, we must also extend it to Citizen Hébert, who may have cried primarily for his wife’s fate. And regarding Desmoulins' alleged leniency, let us reconsider. He shares responsibility for the Brissotins’ demise, did not protest the entirely illegal persecution of Jacques Roux, said he understood the need to curb liberty for the people’s salvation, and did not oppose or even approved the mock trial that led to the deaths of Hébert, Momoro, Ronsin, Vincent, and the arrest of Marie Françoise Goupil. If we accuse Citizen Hébert of having dubious friends, what about Desmoulins, who allied with a corrupt figure like Danton, and likely knew it? We are far from the kind Desmoulins versus the evil Hébert often portrayed in films. Desmoulins enjoys a golden legend, while Hébert has a black one that needs lifting.

Furthermore, the execution of the so-called exaggerators had a disastrous impact within the Committee of Public Safety concerning the Parisian masses.

Lastly, I must point out that "Le Père Duchesne" saw success between 1848 and 1871. What we call Hébertism had a greater significance than often acknowledged.

Thus, I ask you to rehabilitate Hébert, who did so much against slavery, for price controls, proposed measures to alleviate the suffering of Parisians, and fell victim to a parody of justice that chilled the French Revolution, remembered only for its bloodshed because it sells better.

Sources:

Antoine Resche

Danton write by Frédéric Bluche

Gérard Walter

[respectthepetty]

You're American?!

Anon, this is the expression I feel you had while you wrote that sentence.

Yes. Yes, I am American. What gave it away? Me stating all the time I'm American (rural Southwest, Catholic, bisexual, a slut, Hispanic/Black, a Leo, a vegetarian) or was it the way I spell "colors"?

For an aging millennial who knows better, I actually offer up way too much information in the tags. So . . . fuck it, let me offer up more - I was born in Japan due to America's strategic colonization in over 80 countries (aka my father was in the Air Force), so my first passport has a picture of a week-old me! Whenever I renew my license or fill out any type of legal paperwork, I have to present five documents to prove my American citizenship since I was born in a regular Japanese hospital instead of the one on the American base. When I travel, internationally or domestically, it never fails that I get held up because my passport is American, my place of birth is Japan, and my place of residency is . . . just know people don't realize it's an American state. I travel often, but I think about two years ago, I might have fucked an international criminal at a Canadian music festival because I got held up in the Montreal airport for hours trying to leave and since then, I always have to go to the counter to print out my boarding pass and I always get asked additional questions. Odd, but if the criminal was who I think it was, the sex was worth it.