#the first time it truly was not that bad
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idk what deity i have severely pissed off but i have been sick two times in the past month so i fear i may need to start repenting or something
#the first time it truly was not that bad#this time though? dear lord#like it wouldn't even be that bad if my sinuses didn't hurt like a bitch and there was not enough pressure in them to erupt a volcano#that's a very stupid comparison but yknow what i mean#i fear i may have to call into work tomorrow though which i Do Not want to do because i will Feel Bad#even though i know my bosses will probably be chill about it as long as someone can cover for me#3iuhfqadjnw;baiehjsdfkna;isjbkhdnf j;sakjdbfn this is making me want to bang my head against the wall#it also does not help that i am on my period as well#which also happened the last time i was sick#so yknow. things are going great#i am also sooo behind its not even funny and i have midterms in two weeks#(literally WHY did my professors make my midterms in FEBRUARY it is STUPID)#i am simply just too busy to be sick this is all so tragic#anyway#life update i guess lmao#lacey talks
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Your beats make me sick
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#a-yuan#wen qing#wen ning#This scene raised several implications that range from retroactively hilarious -#-to confrontationally horrifying.#First with the hilarious bit; Hey! We've seen this scene before!#In fact - this particular duet is so similar to the duet LWJ and WWX perform to calm the mystery arm in Cloud Recess-#-That I am honestly flabbergasted WWX *didn't* realize LWJ would catch on his real identity.#Sure there are a lot of ways you could justify it. But also...even if he didn't play Wangxian.mp3...he would have been found out eventually#"I have to get away from LWJ by annoying him via flirting!' uhhh like you pretty much did throughout most of your late teens?#I think there is something a bit charming about WWX if he's truly that bad of an actor. Go on king. Live your authentic truth.#For the horrifying implications...I didn't depict it here but it's not *just* Wen Ning who breaks out and goes into a frenzy.#It is also the other corpses that are around the burial grounds.#You know; the ones that even he admits he has no idea how many there are!#It puts a lot more weight on 'how much longer do you really think you can do this?'#The village in the burial grounds was *always* under a time limit. It was a matter of when and how it would be destroyed.#And I do believe that firmly. As depressing and pessimistic as it is; The Wen Remnants were never meant to survive.
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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thinking about arthur who has crazy quick reflexes and is a relatively light sleeper who woke up to the sound of someone in his room and saw merlin crouched down messing with his keys before softly asking “whatre you doing?…before breakfast?”
#like in that scene in s2 when merlin was calling out arthurs name from under his bed#and he jumped up (thinking merlin was long gone) grabbed his sword and postured for a fight#or that one in idk which season when merlin was sneaking in his room and he woke up and grabbed his sword when merlin bumped a chair#and then merlin brought the canopy/curtains around his bed down on him#vs waking up to see melin splayed over him and staring for a beat#before flinching back#(he was definitely having some thoughts and/or dreams but thats neither here nor there)#idk thinking about arthur who trusts merlin implicitly and allows himself to lower his guard around him#his guard which he keeps up even in his sleep#GOD imagining them in an established relationship and merlin for once has /so/ much trouble waking arthur up#like before it was sorta bad but arthur was always in that half awake state#but now that theyre together….arthur wont even groan when merlin starts poking his ribs#arthur finally feeling so safe and protected that he allows his guard to drop in his sleep#and its the first time hes ever felt truly refreshed in the morning#so now merlin has infinitely more trouble waking him up but when hes up hes UP and ready to go#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#arthur bby they could never make me hate you#hes just a girl desperately craving love and protection#merlin isnt even offering it#hes shoving it into arthurs arms with insults flying off the tongue#theyre so disgusting#(affectionate)#<3#headcanon#head canon#hc
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3fd1accde2002df440e52f5cc89da3ee/1c2305b2b1c7192b-da/s1280x1920/7b143e6946af9a4e280489d596a95030e394c764.jpg)
@sunfloweraro these tags of yours ignited an Art Spark within me, so here's Hyrule carrying Bunny in his arms like a baby!! I hope you like it <(^-^<)
(I hope it's not too blurry--tumblr kept making the image visibly worse whenever I put it in this post for some reason??? so...)
(Also CHAPTER SIX??? OMG THAT'S CRAZYYYY)
#the sus-looking brown lump on his pants is supposed to be patch#I just chose a bad color lmao)#first time drawing rulie!! I have now drawn him and legend and four and a tiny warriors and legend and an alternate version of legend x10#truly diverse of me#oh also sky and shadow once each#I'll draw everyone eventually--I'm getting there...#I'm just a LITTLE bias guys I promise#it's just a teensie weensie bit of favoritism#linked universe#lu#lu hyrule#lu legend#bunny legend#lu pink bunny au#artwork#drawing#my art
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Anger is such a normal part of recovery, and I wish it were normalized. I think it is genuinely harmful to depict recovery as this era of your life that only sets you free and makes you euphoric, and there will never again be a cloud in the sky because you have Ultimately Healed.
It's the fucking opposite sometimes. Recovery can feel violent, because the things you are recovering from are often (though not always) violent. It is so common to feel white-hot rage, grief, catharsis, elation, numbness - in essence, a whole host of emotions that aren't pretty, or aren't simple little categories to be neatly boxed and sorted and understood by the "normals."
Those recovering: Your emotions are real, and they aren't bad. You aren't a bad person for how you are processing and healing. You, however, aren't alone. You are doing so fucking well, no matter what it is you are healing from or for. I genuinely hope you can be proud of that.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#recovery#the first time i actually *let* myself feel anger and rage was truly the point i felt free#because throughout my time trying to recover i was TERRIFIED and HORRIFIED that i could feel those Bad Emotions#and that rage hit me suddenly because i couldn't hold that anger in anymore#it's almost funny to me now though#me driving: 😀 || my brain: I Am So Fucking Irate About [recovery thing] I Never Deserved That || me: 🤬#i know for a fact that i have talked about this but i quite literally still need to talk about this
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Wriothesley as an extension of the Fortress itself
a living, breathing part of its organism, his heart beating in tandem with its machinery. that deep hum that's always present in his mind and lulls him to sleep at night is Meropide's ancient power coursing through his veins and he doesn't even know it, let alone understand it
he was a blank slate when he arrived, a non-person by his own choice, and so the Fortress claimed him as her own
sometimes he seems to know exactly what is happening five floors below, and inmates joke that it's some sort of magic, but they know that the Duke is simply well-informed and uses the in-built security system to keep on top of things... surely that's all there is to it
a young Wriothesley was once pursued by a handful of other inmates who wanted to kill him for a perceived slight. he ducked into the shadowed hallways of the lower levels, took turn after turn, and eventually made his way to a safe room where he could hide for the night. the next day, he learned that the other inmates never made it to their morning shifts
his footing is always sure on the walkways, he never loses his way, and he can always tell when there's something up with the machinery at first glance
sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night with the taste of copper in his mouth, and he mistakes it for a memory of blood... but every time, he gets up and he finds that something has happened that requires his attention - usually the violent kind
he doesn't think there's anything special to it all, but Sigewinne sees. Sigewinne knows. she'll cross that bridge in a few decades, when Wriothesley realizes that he's stopped aging
#genshin#wriothesley#what if i wrote a whole fic about eldritch wriothesley what then#neuvillette sees him for the first time since his trial and he realizes he's no longer looking at a human#but that's not necessarily a bad thing#maybe what meropide needs is someone who truly is part of her. someone who belongs#something something living haunted buildings something something part of the machine something something being loved by the incomprehensibl
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Usopp is the most respectful men in the crew!
We can see this by how the ladies are comfortable around him, specifically Nami. Its cannon that Nami is one of the most beautiful women in the world and we see how men treat her over this. In a way I always see her guarded against men (or calculating how to take advantage over this fact). But with usopp she feels okay starting skinship or getting in situations that may be uncomfortable with others. And he always react with respect, never treating her different. During thriller bark she evens trust him to watch the bath. In a way, it's also different than the lack of interest we get from Zoro and Luffy.
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And it may be fanservice but I don't feel nami is comfortable with the others to this point
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Also, he was hiding in Robins clothes and instead of this becoming some sexy gag, it's just a hilarious scene
His relationship with Robin is also super wholesome. You can see they are both comfortable with each other.
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Not forgetting he respect his adversary no matter the gender
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We also have the whole Kaya and Usop relationship. While this one is read more as romantic, we always see usopp being really respectful in the way he talks about Kaya and his actions towards her. And honestly, his actions in every way always seem respectful
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#anyway it feels like i start one way and just talked about nami and usopp relationship#yiu know first time i watched i kikd tought Oda shipped them because he always put both in situations although now i don't think thats why#one piece#usopp#nami#but i feel truly nami is a women used to her sexiness#she knows what men think and use that for her benefits even when she does not show interest in them#thats why i think its prove usopp is a gentleman that she know she can trust#plus i don't think we ever saw usopp making any women uncomfortable ever?#even when he had enemies as Perona#he treated her equally#idk i just feel there is a lot to be told about a man#in the way his women friendship treat him ❤️#rambling sorry#sorry if some details are missing or is there something you guys feel needs to be added?#(the only bad scene that we all ignore is the alabasta bath scene idk what oda thought on this one)
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Chu Wanning's communication skills rival those of Mobei-jun
#2ha#svsss#the man is SO BAD at taking#truly#havin a great time with the book#I'm towards the end of the first book and he just went “Mo Ran.” and all i could think of was Mobei-jun going “Qinghua.” in the same tone#shahdhahhs
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it's mendel!
#my art#oc#mendel#anthro#furry#dragon#bringing back his sleigh bells because they kinda slay (sleigh)#i will revisit this i think. there's more i wanted to do with it but i wanted something to post before I leave for the next week so here...#watched the fnaf movie the other day for friend birthday and it was INCREDIBLY stupid and silly and bad but still a fun time somehow#the tonal whiplash was bizarre and the characters were incomprehensible and the dialogue was ridiculous and unintentionally funny#it's so funny this took 8 years to do what were they DOIN!!!! it cannot have been polishing the script!!!#but the animatronics and set design were incredible. even if they stopped being scary very fast i loved the funny murderous animals#playing elastica connection and iggy pop wild child was a choice that was made#anyway truly wild. i played the first four games and that's it so i can hardly profess to be the target audience#illustration
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#he wants that cookie so effing bad
bonus:
#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age veilguard#veilguard spoilers#da4 spoilers#dragon age#emmrook#emmrich x rook#rookrich#emmrich volkarin#dragon age veilguard spoilers#datv#dragon age gifs#dragon age edit#my gifs#THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER. IM SCRATCHING AT THE WALLS#'he want that cookie so effing bad' has become part of my daily vocabulary like i can't stop saying it#my roommate can attest to this <3#bless whoever animated all these Looks that rook and emmrich give each other#especially that first one???? good LORD they are so down bad for each other it's crazy#also i lose my SHIT every time i watch the scene where emmrich fucking climbs back into the coffin so they can fuck nasty again#like DAMN calm down peepaw rook's not going anywhere#truly ridiculous how much emmrook occupies my brain space
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Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art.#It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off.#Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways!#There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough'#only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize -#-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*)#And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans.#The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement.#I really can't describe how grateful I am.#Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out.#Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house.#But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants.#I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry.#Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.
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@megxolotl okay i had really big plans for this concept but i'll have to save them for another day since im out of town for the holiday all week hehe. in the meantime: the ghosts of bill's past come back to haunt him? the latest in gravity falls' zombie outbreaks?? bill discovering there are in fact consequences for not allowing your human form to sleep for a week?????? who knows ^^
#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#bill cipher#human bill cipher#halloween#asks#megxolotl#hehehe turned out kinda visually reminding me of skinamarink tbh FHSJJSJ#anyways truly the first thing that came to mind about undead euclydians in any form was just Ohhhh i think bill would have a BAD TIME LMAO#extremely hard to find ways to hit him in his Actual Feelings but this has gotta be a tender spot.#gijinka
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Billy's way of showing affection is a bit... Unorthodox.
(it will happen again)
Stu is probably way more pleased about the discovery than any other sane individual would be
#get yourself a bf that vehemently denies any connection to you but still breaks into your home to sit in a corner and stare at u in ur sleep#catboy coded#unrelated but I need to talk abt this#i just got a haircut and im like. fucking RABID about it#i finally look pretty in that masculine way if you know what i mean#im the guy you see exiting a starbucks that makes you instantly think “what a fruit”#im so fuckin happy im in tears I feel truly comfortable for the first time in a while#in other news I accidentally spilled green apple monster energy all over the pork I was about to eat#if I had a nickel for every time I mentioned something bad that happened to me related to monster energy#srry for rambling I just feel great about myself#scream 1996#stuilly#billy loomis#stu macher#billy loomis x stu matcher#latenightsundayblues art tag
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thinking about the Charlie's birthday stream. not the ending, no, we think about that too much. no I think about everything else:
the happiness, the joy, the warmth of it all for nearly two full hours
the lack of mob spawns that night because it’s Charlie's birthday and he has eggs with him. how intentional it is. how funny it is and how sad it makes me because its so considerate
thinking about Tallulah by Charlie's side the whole time, diligently leading him from item to item as his little "guardian angel". Charlie trying to be a good tio and falling a little short sometimes, accidentally leaving Tallulah behind when she crashes but still trying cause that’s his sobrina. how she has to actually hit him to get his attention and how bad she must feel but it's so fucking funny each time
(how can anyone blame him when he never gets to hang out with the eggs enough to know he should wait for her? Charlie had Juanaflippa for what- 10 days? and was practically shunned by several others and himself from interacting with other eggs after his action, which is understandable, but only for so long. can they not see how he plays with the eggs? hear how soft his voice gets around them? don't the other islanders understand?)
this is maybe the longest he's gotten to hang out with tallulah since he got his backpack. Wilbur is his best friend and this was the egg he left behind. He's still learning and Tallulah still loves him despite it. Two people missing someone dearly, yet they have each other even if it's hard to realize
thinking about "Maybe Tallulah, you were the gift. I think you're the gift, Tallulah."
thinking about Richas, his nephew because Charlie has Mike, an actual brother that is equally excited to see him time and time again. A nephew coming around with the slime head and slime balls, like a mini Charlie, who is decked out in a full ghillie suit. Charlie who plays with the egg, pretending to be a spooky monster and richas playing along and getting scared
thinking about Charlie not knowing how to use the ghillie suit properly so he's still clearly visible to the eggs, yet they act like he isn't for his sake. shepherding him around from place to place because charlie is a little clueless yeah (he's in exile, go easy on him), but they are patient and happy to "tag along" and let him lead
thinking about them all taking a picture with him in the school, charlie wanting one with both of them, something to remember the day by.
thinking about how charlie is clearly loved by the eggs, his huevos, and how he clearly loves them back and is trying to be better for them even if he struggles so much
thinking about Charlie Slimecicle on his birthday, for once happy after everything he's been through, Tallulah and Richarlyson by his side
just him, his sobrina, and his nephew on a little scavenger hunt under the stars while the rest of the server remains quiet and calm. asleep while they remain lively
just them
happy
#slimecicle#qsmp#qsmp tallulah#qsmp richarlyson#qsmp slimecicle#i am soooooooooooo normal about charlie and the eggs#let him be HAPPY PLEASE#it kills me time and time again how#the eggs clearly love him#but charlie doesn't love himself#i'm chewing on drywall over this#why did it have to end like it did#we were so close to having all the focus on Charlie and tallulah and richas for a couple of days#of charlie beginning to HEAL#even if just a little#all of his time with lullah and richas gets overshadowed by codeflippa and i hate it truly im sorry but i do#sorry this just bugs me to no end and it's why i started writing again in the first place#mad ramblings#ALSO THINKING ABOUT BAD LETTING HIM 'BABYSIT' WHILE HE STEPPED AWAY#GOD I MISS HIM INTERACTING WITH THE EGGS#LET HIM HAVE A FUN NO STAKES LITTLE MISSION WITH ALL OF THEM PLEASE NO ANGST#TALLULAH#THE ONLY PERSON TO GO OUT OF HER WAY TO GIVE CHARLIE A BIRTHDAY GIFT OF HER OWN VOLITION#THAT MAY HAVE DISAPPEARED WHEN THEY REMODELED HIS HOME FOR CHARLIES REAL 'GIFT' I HATE YOUUUUUUUU
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rewatched barbie my thoughts can be summarised with a) ken is a more interesting character than barbie b) the daughter’s outfits get girlier the more feminist she gets and c) weird barbie’s first line is her being heterosexual. so like i think. a) you failed at a crucial element of feminist story creation b) you failed at the lesson You wrote that people are more than just the archetype forced upon them and c) you commodified lesbianism without even letting it exist
#this is reductive but it’s the gist of it for me#makes me feel sad and weird and gay!#and then obviously it’s all over the fucking place with its metaphors and parallels#it’s good i think if you don’t think about it too much. but also you really need to be thinking about it too much#there were lines and partial sentiments i actually heard and enjoyed this time#but like. ‘first comes sparkle then comes female agency’ is only a good critique if you don’t put the daughter in a fucking sparkly dress#so yeah still not a fan! but also importantly it’s only so bad because it claimed to be so good#it wouldn’t be this horrible if no one saw it but its sole purpose was to get every person alive to see it#oh yeah also just. allan#maybe only truly good bit of it#and when i say good i mean why would you like he’s he doesn’t he’s not happy and you use him but don’t accommodate him why even like wh#why do that to him…….. my allan…………#cried every time he came on screen. the scream. the tears. him always existing in his own shot?? truly isolated???#feels so homophobic yet also understanding? yet also homophobic and i enjoy it so much#+
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