#the first part was

[teecupangel]

Okay i know this is a really random rare pair but I can't stop thinking about it.

Kadar/Maria

We'll tie AltDes in there too.

Desmond meets Maria first and forms a friendship with her.

But Desmond saves Kadar at the temple and Kadar decides that Desmond is now his best friend ever. He goes to visit Desmond at wherever he decided to set up shop and he runs head first into a templar knight in full armor. Falling flat on his ass, he looks up at them towering over him and starts to shake.

Only for Desmond to step out of his hut and call out for them to wait and that Kadar is safe.

Kadar watches as the very intimidating knight removes "his" helmet only to add a now very red face to his shaking limbs as he see Maria's face.

This woman is both ridiculously scary and incredibly pretty and Kadar is instantly smittened.

Now queue Kadar trying to court Maria. Even asking the Flowers in Paradise the best way woo a woman. He starts to brings her flowers, fruits, even sweet bread once or twice. Each time he is a stuttering shaky mess but he manages to say more and more to her each time.

Would Maria find it cute how he trips over his words everytime.

Would she be amused that he still trembles when he is near her.

Or just confused why this trained assassin (novice or not) seem so damn uncoordinated whenever she see him.

While this all happens Desmond has met Altair and caught his interest. Which unfortunately means he is now subjected to Altair's version of "courting". So Desmond is off to the side. Watching Kadar be all cute with his gifts and then he turns his head to glare at Altair who has dropped yet another dead body at his feet while Altair spreads his arms in a way that says "well? Are you going to praise me?"

Desmond just pouting about how its unfair he didn't get the "normal" one.

Before anything else, I feel like you might enjoy this AltDes idea that can pretty much be summarized as “Altaïr courts Desmond by giving him items that used to belonged to his target”

Next, I like Kadar/Maria. I think they would be cute together.

I mostly like it because I like to hc that Kadar is attracted to strong people who can kick his ass (hence why he had such a huge hero-worship/crush on Altaïr) so I can totally see Kadar falling in love with Maria after literally falling on his ass.

.

For this one, we’ll make Kadar fall fast and hard. He’s been nursing a crush on Altaïr for so long that it’s one of the most well-known running ‘joke’ in Masyaf. 

Then he met Desmond and his crush transferred to him because he’s so similar to Altaïr in looks and strength but he’s nicer and there’s definitely a savior crush trope in play on this side of the board.

But it’s because Desmond is so nice that Kadar knows his feelings are crushingly one-sided. More than Altaïr because, at least, Kadar knows Altaïr is oblivious to his feelings so he can atleast fool himself in believing there's a chance but Desmond isn’t and Desmond is nice about it even after he tells Kadar that he doesn’t feel the same way that Kadar can’t help but still consider Desmond a friend while having a broken heart.

Because Desmond’s rejection was the wake up call Kadar needed (but did not wish for) to understand that Altaïr would also reject him if he knew (in a more blunt but completely non malicious way).

So when he bumped into Maria and saw her in her knightly visage, looking regal and powerful and as beautiful as the female knights in Desmond’s stories he tells children that Kadar would listen to whenever he visited...

It was love at first sight.

Desmond feared it was a case of Kadar rebounding on Maria after Desmond rejected him.

But… 

The more Desmond sees Kadar and Maria together…

The shy slight stuttering and deepening blush on Kadar’s face as he tried to give Maria gifts while trying to act as aloof and cool as Altaïr (it wasn’t working, Desmond had to talk to Kadar and tell him to ‘be himself’ like an unhelpful stock phrase generator) and the bright surprised smile he always made whenever Maria took the gift and thank him… 

The soft smile on Maria’s lips whenever she sees Kadar and the vulnerability in her voice when she admitted to Desmond that she had never been courted so sweetly before. No. She had never been courted before as the only relationship she had was a marriage that had been purely contractual between her parents and her ex-husband. So this was… nice. And Kadar was such a sweet man and…

Desmond…

Desmond realized that he was jealous of them.

Of this sweet gentle courting…

The small walks they take to talk about nothing important at all but important in their eyes because they get to know each other more.

The meals they share where they learn what each other liked and enjoyed. 

The gifts that littered Desmond’s little hut because Maria was still a Templar (Desmond was working on that) and she couldn’t bring any of these back as it would cause unsavory rumors that may lead to Kadar’s identity being revealed.

And then…

Altaïr started to visit. 

He frowned at all the courting gifts that Kadar had given Maria and…

Look.

Desmond wasn’t stupid.

He knew that Altaïr was attracted to him.

Okay.

He knew that Altaïr had feelings of him, complicated feelings that emerged because Desmond continued to support and help him even after he had lost his entire support system, left to fend for himself and having to do tasks for people who should be helping him because it was part of his punishment… 

Altaïr wasn’t entirely blameless in this entire thing, of course.

But he had always been lonely and the sudden lack of the usual support he received dealt more damage to him than he let on.

Desmond knew that because of the memories he had gotten from Altaïr’s Bleed.

And he knew that Altaïr’s attraction to him stemmed from that.

And honestly?

Desmond didn’t care if people would think that he had manipulated Altaïr’s feelings, becoming his only light or whatever flowery words they might say.

Because to him…

Altaïr’s feelings for him are just as true as Kadar’s feelings for Maria.

And Desmond wished to accept them.

He truly do.

It’s just…

Desmond wished someone would talk to Altaïr that there are nicer courting ‘rituals’. Look, the death of a merchant that had been a bit too handsy could be forgiven since Desmond knew he had been torturing his servants and paying them less than they deserve. 

Being presented with the merchant’s bloody jewelry after his death because they would look good against Desmond’s skin (which Desmond was sure was not meant to insinuate that Altaïr wanted to see him naked… mayyybbee???) was a bit iffy but Desmond knew that the Brotherhood didn’t really give much money to the Assassins in the first place. Just a measly allowance that would be enough to cover their traveling while the bureaus would provide them with food and shelter.

Hell, Kadar was using the bride price their father left for him to pay for all the courting gifts!

So Desmond took the jewelry and thanked Altaïr because… what else was he supposed to do? 

Then… more not-so-good people that had done Desmond wrong or had annoyed Desmond or just made Desmond go ‘that man’s gonna die sooner or later’...    

Well…

They all started dying.

And Desmond was sure if Altaïr could, he would drag the body in front of Desmond’s hut and present it like a cat delivering a fresh kill by their owner’s feet.

But that would be too risky even for Altaïr.

So now..

One wall of Desmond’s hut was filled with such wonderful thoughtful courting gifts from Kadar to Maria.

And another wall was filled with wonderful thoughtful courting gifts from Altaïr to Desmond.

… which always makes Desmond think of a serial killer’s trophy wall.

[puppyeared]

filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^

[darlingofdots]

my parents are on holiday in their mobile home

they're expected back this upcoming weekend

I just spent ten days in my childhood home to keep an eye on things

I have hidden 100 small yellow ducks all over the house

I am very excited for my parents to be back

[skipppppy]

Congrats?

[emilnikos]

I need non autistic people to realise meltdowns are a real debilitating thing that has a serious effect on your mental and physical health NOWWWWW!!! The way its been trivialized and lessened pisses me the fuck off. It's not a tantrum and it doesn't come from "being too weak-willed" it's painful and it's embarrassing AND MOST OF ALL IT'S INVOLUNTARY!! Don't claim to be an ally to autistic or disabled people and then make fun of people who have meltdowns. Literally get the hell out of my sight

[silkysong]

part 1. the hell dimension bus broke sorry

the one who wags ( kamashi ) was baptised under the name of dog by @prince-steele

[trektown]

Holy shit I found THE gif

[jessepinwheel]

love rereading some of my writing like damn this person really knows how to write that appeals to all the things I personally love

[canisalbus]

✦ Freshly ordained ✦

[elodieunderglass]

Oh I forgot to say.

Bug (4) is going to start school now so we’ve been doing literacy practice. One set of exercises was about “opposites” and I drew a card reading “fat”. Ok what’s the opposite of fat.

Bug thought about it and then said dreamily: “meat.”

[jakeperalta]

I'm curious. what job would you do if money was no object (you just automatically had an income you could live comfortably on)? including work like volunteering, studying etc. please share in the tags :)

[bixels]

Baffled.

[lorillee]

most important thing you can do as a tumblrina is get into some media almost none of your followers know about or have engaged with in any form so you can make long untagged posts complaining about peoples bad takes to an audience of 3 total people. second most important thing you can do as a tumblrina is get obsessed with some ugly guy from said media and start posting about him with captions such as "so cuties forever 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖" so your mutuals can give you a polite golf clap like while attempting to withhold their mildly scathing judgement

[cubbyhole-for-flea-bee]

Macaque spent the whole season Big-Damn-Hero-ing and was NOT happy about it xD

[ruporas]

dragon meat, you, and me

[inkskinned]

it is hard to explain but there is something so unwell about the cultural fear of ugliness. the strange quiet irradiation of any imperfect sight. the pores and the stomachs and the legs displaced into a digital trashbin. somehow this effect spilling over - the removal of a grinning strangers in the back of a picture. of placing more-photogenic clouds into a frame. of cleaning up and arranging breakfast plates so the final image is of a table overflowing with surplus - while nobody eats, and instead mimes food moving towards their mouth like tantalus.

ever-thinner ever-more-muscled ever-prettier. your landlord's sticky white paint sprayed over every surface. girlchildren with get-ready-with-me accounts and skincare routines. beige walls and beige floors and beige toys in toddler hands. AI-generated "imagined prettier" birds and bugs and bees.

pretty! fuckable! impossible! straighten teeth. use facetune and lightroom and four other products. remove the cars along the street from the video remove the spraypaint from the garden wall remove the native plants from their home, welcome grass. welcome pretty. let the lot that walmart-still-owns lay fallow and rotting. don't touch that, it's ugly! close your eyes.

erect anti-homelessness spikes. erect anti-bird spikes. now it looks defensive, which is better than protective. put the ramp at the back of the building, you don't want to ruin the aesthetic of anything.

you are a single person in this world, and in this photo! don't let the lives of other people ruin what would otherwise be a shared moment! erase each person from in front of the tourist trap. erase your comfortable shoes and AI generate platforms. you weren't smiling perfectly, smile again. no matter if you had been genuinely enjoying a moment. you are not in a meadow with friends, you're in a catalogue of your own life! smile again! you know what, forget it.

we will just edit the right face in.