#the first part is like how it is in the movie and then it changes to. gay fan edit style

[luvergirl-866]

something like love

part - 2

pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd

word count - 5.3k

c/w - language, slight angst if you squint, emetephobia warning

a/n - hi!! it’s odd for me to post two days in a row, so try not to get used to it! i just already had this written and wanted to share it so baddd. hope yall enjoy! also, this is unedited so once again, im begging, lmk if there’s any mistakes. and ofc tell me what you think!!

To be honest, Azzi hadn’t really known what to expect when they put their plan in motion. She and Paige had gone over the logistics, sure, but they’d only really skimmed over how they’d act in public, and whether they’d hold hands, and what kind of flirty things they’d say to each other. Azzi sort of regrets her decision to let Paige lead the way, because that makes her feel like she’s going into this blind, with no idea of how Paige is going to act when they’re together now. No idea of how things are going to change.

It is only the morning after their movie night, and here is what Azzi has learned so far:

For one, Paige doesn’t actually seem to be that big on hand-holding. The only time she held Azzi’s hand last night was when she led her to the doorway once the night was over, waving their joined hands goodbye to their friends.

Paige does, however, seem to be big on basically everything else.

Once the girls were done gushing and celebrating and asking (very invasive) questions, they’d all decided on some horror movie they’d seen the trailer for. Azzi hates horror movies and she guesses this is probably the reason why Paige advocated so hard to watch one. Because as soon as they turned the lights off and the scary intro music started, Paige wrapped her arm around Azzi’s shoulders, pulling her flush against her side. They stayed this way for around ten minutes before Paige claimed she had to use the restroom, but before she left, she kissed Azzi’s head and mumbled, “Don’t get too scared while I’m gone, baby,” into her ear. Azzi had swallowed thickly and nodded, and pretended not to notice Jana wiggling her eyebrows at her.

When the first real jumpscare happened, and Azzi screamed along with a few of the other girls, Paige chuckled quietly and leaned down to whisper, “You’re such a baby about this kinda stuff, Az.” Azzi had reacted how she normally would, slapping Paige on the arm and rolling her eyes, defending herself with a, “Shut up, I know you’re scared, too.” But what wasn’t normal was the way Paige fondly shook her head and nuzzled her cheek with her nose before pressing a kiss there, and then leaned back up to pull Azzi into her side once more, this time protectively. Azzi swore she could hear her own heart racing for a solid five minutes afterwards. It didn’t help that KK had looked back at them and said, “Aw, y’all grossing me out with how cute you are,” before turning back to the movie. Paige had snickered. Azzi had taken a deep breath, which did nothing to help with her composure.

Almost an hour into the movie, Paige rested her hand on Azzi’s thigh and squeezed, and she didn’t give Azzi any time to tame the fire in her belly before leaning into her ear once more and whispering, “You’re so stiff. You gotta chill,” and so, tamping down the need to cross her legs, Azzi’d obeyed and leaned her head on Paige’s shoulder.

At some point or another, she must’ve fallen asleep there, because all she remembers after that is a gentle pressure on her shoulder, jostling her softly, and a voice from her dreams saying, “Az, it’s late, we gotta go. Time to wake up, baby,” and Azzi opened her eyes to find Paige sitting beside her, giving her this look that Azzi had only ever caught glimpses of, and it was so soft she had to shut her eyes again.

“Thought we were sleeping over,” Azzi mumbled, stretching and then turning onto her side, realizing vaguely that somebody must’ve thrown a blanket over her.

“Nah, I figured we better sleep in an actual bed tonight.” Paige stroked back a strand of Azzi’s hair with incredible tenderness before taking her by the waist and hefting her into a sitting position. “C’mon. I’ll take you to mine, okay?”

Azzi had nodded sleepily, and had let Paige say all their goodnights while she hung off her arm with lidded eyes. Even in her half-sleep state, she didn’t miss the way the girls elbowed each other and gave knowing glances.

Now, Azzi stares at Paige, who lays sleeping just next to her, hair all splayed out and mouth hanging open. Azzi smiles softly at her. She and Paige have slept in the same bed hundreds—maybe thousands—of times, but this is different, because Azzi is allowing herself to pretend that it is. She imagines reaching out and waking Paige the same way Paige woke her last night, gently and lovingly, and then sharing a lazy morning together as a couple where they joke about morning breath and talk about their plans and hold each other.

But Paige grumbles, then shifts and blinks her eyes open, rubbing them a little before finding Azzi laying next to her. She smiles, but it’s not the same smile from last night—it’s not that tender, adoring smile, but rather the one Azzi is used to—the wide, toothy, beautiful but friendly one. “Oh, hey. Morning.”

“Morning,” Azzi mumbles, her indulgent fantasy broken, and she reminds herself just how careful she’ll have to be while she and Paige are doing this. She cannot allow herself too many delusions, cannot let her imagination run wild with the idea that their act is real. She cannot let herself get burned by this.

“You kept stealing the blankets last night.”

Azzi lies onto her back to avoid eye contact, staring up at the ceiling. “No, Paige, you were taking up the entire bed.”

“Cap,” Paige says, shoving her shoulder. Rough, friendly. Sisterly.

It’s silent for a second and then Paige turns onto her side. “Hey.” Azzi can feel her eyes burning into the side of her head. “We did pretty good last night, yeah? We seemed super in love and shit?”

Azzi doesn’t chance a glance over, staring stubbornly at the ceiling. “Yeah, P,” she agrees. “We did.”

——————————————

Finals come far too fast.

The last month of school is always hectic, and this year has been no different—Azzi’s spent the vast majority of her time studying, drinking her nostalgia away with friends, and then more studying on top of that.

Oh, and pretending to be in a committed relationship with Paige. That too.

Some days are easier than others—it’s not like they’re being forced to undress each other in front of an audience or anything. They haven’t even had to utilize pet names much. But it’s still…different. So different. Paige was touchy-feely with Azzi even before they started ‘dating���, so now, if they ever sit more than an inch apart or walk somewhere without wrapping their arms around each other, they get strange glances from their friends. A couple mornings ago, they were so hungover that they forgot about their whole act, and when they’d stumbled out of Paige’s room and began making breakfast without so much as a word to each other, KK had abrasively asked if their was ‘trouble in paradise’. Paige was all over her the rest of the day. After two weeks, Azzi is starting to get used to it.

At least they haven’t had to kiss. They haven’t even discussed it, and Azzi has been specifically avoiding that topic of conversation. She knows herself well enough to know that she can’t kiss her best friend and act normal about it.

Later, Azzi will curse herself for thinking this without knocking on wood after.

“So, we all know the rules of the game?”

“KK—“

“Girl, just answer the question!”

A pause, and then a bored chorus of yes’es.

“Yay!” With a big, tipsy smile on her face, KK places the empty beer bottle in the middle of the circle.

Paige groans and rests her head on Azzi’s shoulder. “KK, this is so fuckin’ lame.”

“For real!” Ice says from a few spots down. “We’re not in middle school.”

KK waves them off. “Girl, boo. Y’all are the lame ones. This‘ll be so much fun, you’ll be thanking me after.”

Everyone starts to groan in response to this, but Caroline, ever the mom, speaks up. “C’mon, guys, just play KK’s game.”

Unable to really say no to Caroline, the group shuts up. KK smiles excitedly. “Now that’s what I like to hear! Thank you, Carol.”

Azzi brings her hand up to rest on Paige’s back, and she’s proud that it almost comes naturally now, like her body knows that’s just what it’s supposed to do.

Nika breaks the peace a moment later with another teasing comment, which prompts KK to yell at her, and then everyone is talking amongst themselves, the room buzzing with late-night, drunk-college-students-before-finals energy.

Paige sighs deeply into Azzi’s shoulder, and she loves that she’s the only one who can hear it, who can feel it against her skin.

Putting her lips to Paige’s hair, Azzi mutters, “Wanna go downstairs?”

Downstairs is where Paige’s dorm is. Azzi’s is the floor they’re on now, and it’d probably make more sense to sleep there for the night. But Paige’s dorm, and more specifically, her bedroom, is where they’ve been gravitating to the past couple weeks. Azzi has always loved it there, the smell of Paige filling the very air, photos of the two of them on her nightstand, purple bedding so very Paige. And now it’s become something of a sanctuary, a way to escape their facade which can become cumbersome.

Usually, they’d be in bed by now, because Azzi likes to sleep early and Paige hasn’t been wanting to stay up without her. But Paige shakes her head at the question.

“No?” Azzi asks. “You’re not tired?”

“Mm, nah.” Paige glances up at her. “You?”

Azzi licks her lips. She swears Paige’s eyes track the movement, and linger for just a moment too long. She clears her throat. “Same.”

“Aight,” Paige says, turning back to her shoulder. “We can leave after this, ma.”

“Hey, lovebirds,” KK says, barely giving Azzi any time to shudder at Paige’s nickname. “Pay attention. You’re going first.”

Everybody’s looking directly at Azzi, and she shakes her head awkwardly. “Oh, no, I don’t think—“

“If you don’t wanna play, you gotta take a shot every round.”

Paige lifts her head up. “KK, that’s dumb. She doesn’t have to play if she don’t want to.”

KK smiles deviously. Paige flips her off, but Azzi pulls her hand down, rolling her eyes. “Okay, whatever.” She leans over into the middle of the circle, making Paige lean off of her, and spins the beer bottle.

It spins only twice before slowing down and, blessedly, landing on Aubrey.

The girls make a range of noises, mostly giggles, and then Aubrey leans into the circle to meet Azzi in the middle, smiling.

Once she gets close enough, Azzi whispers, “Liyah good with this?”

Aubrey raises her eyebrows. “I’on think it’s my girl we gotta be worried about.”

Confused, Azzi glances over her shoulder, and sees Paige staring intensely at them, bottom lip pulled between her teeth. The blank look on her usually lively face scares Azzi a little bit. She turns back to Aubrey, who also looks a little afraid.

“You’re good,” Azzi reassures her, because she is. Aubrey doesn’t know that Paige is just acting, because she’s the possessive type and of course, if she and Azzi were really dating, she’d be jealous even of her own teammates. But Azzi can’t tell Aubrey this, so instead, she leans forward and kisses her.

Aubrey lets out a noise, surprised, and it makes Azzi laugh because she probably should’ve warned her she was going in. The kiss can’t last more than two seconds before there’s a hand fisting Azzi’s shirt, pulling her back, and Paige is saying, “Alright, alright,” quite gruffly.

Azzi’s stomach does flips at Paige’s rough voice, but she’s tipsy (maybe a little bit more than tipsy) so she leans up to nuzzle Paige’s cheek rather than shying away from her. “Somebody’s jealous.”

“Yeah,” Paige says, “no one should be up on you like that.” And they’re obviously acting—but when Azzi pulls away to look at her, there’s something on her face that isn’t quite fake enough.

But then she’s smiling and saying, “Stop tryna steal my girl, Aubrey,” and Azzi’s heart contracts like it always does when Paige says stuff like this nowadays.

Across the circle, Aubrey takes her spin. It lands on Ice, and Ice is considerably more drunk than any of them, so the whole thing is pretty slobbery. The next spin—Nika—is mostly the same.

It goes like that for a while, a few people taking shots instead of kissing, and a few others taking shots for the hell of it. The bottle lands on Azzi once again and she fills her shot glass to the brim before taking it, needing to dull the feeling of Paige’s hand wrapped possessively around her waist.

By the time the bottle lands on Paige, they’re all pretty damn drunk.

Azzi knows it’s just a game, but she’s always hated seeing Paige with other people, and now is no different. Ashlynn laughs, because this whole thing is pretty fucking funny, but Azzi can’t help but sulk, glad to be under the guise of a relationship—glad she doesn’t have to hide her feelings for awhile.

Before leaning into the circle, Paige looks at Azzi and says, all lighthearted and buzzed, “Don’t pout at me, baby.”

There’s that roughness again, that tone in the back of her throat, and Azzi squirms when Paige presses a wet kiss to her cheek.

Paige and Ashlynn kiss, but they both laugh kind of hysterically so their teeth are pretty much just clashing, and when they’re done Paige wraps an arm around Azzi’s shoulders and spins for herself. And it spins, and spins, and spins, so many times Azzi gets dizzy watching it—

It gets to Amari, and it slows.

It passes by Inês, barely moving anymore.

The neck gets back to Paige, and Azzi wonders for one drunk second, What if it lands on Paige and she has to kiss herself? and she doesn’t even have the time to laugh at how ridiculous that is before the bottle stops, pointing almost accusingly at her.

The girls all cheer, oohing and laughing.

Paige laughs too, easy and casual because they’re supposed to be a couple, they’re supposed to have done this a thousand times, it’s supposed to be normal, normal, Azzi, act normal.

They should have known this would be inevitable.

Paige turns to her, still smiling but with a concerned, almost imperceptible furrow between her brow. Azzi obviously can’t refuse this kiss, can’t take a shot rather than kiss her girlfriend in front of all these people who know she’s her girlfriend.

So instead, she wills herself to nod and then she takes Paige by the collar and kisses her.

Strangely enough, the first thing Azzi takes note of isn’t actually the way Paige’s lips feel touching hers for the first time, or the fact that their teammates are watching them, wolf-whistling and giggling amongst each other.

No, instead, it’s the way Paige smells—the fact that the hair tickling Azzi’s cheek is sweet, vanilla, which means she washed her hair today. And it’s the way her hands cup Azzi’s jaw, cradling her like they do this all the time, thumbs rubbing gently against her cheekbones in a gesture soft enough to make Azzi gasp into her mouth.

She only snaps into it and really realizes, oh, Paige is actually kissing me right now, when Paige’s tongue teases against Azzi’s bottom lip. And it’s just for a second, Paige pulling away fast enough that Azzi thinks she must have imagined it, but it leaves her lip wet.

After that, Paige sits back, smiling at her but there’s that furrow between her brow again, imperceptible to anyone who doesn’t know her as well as Azzi does, and she’s stroking Azzi’s cheek like a tick now, like she’s trying to figure something out.

The moment ends when the girls all clap like white people on a plane, and Azzi isn’t even paying attention to the teasing and cooing, because she’s too busy staring at Paige, wondering what she’s thinking about right now, wondering what about that kiss made her feel so damn…safe.

Whenever she thought about her first kiss with Paige, she expected butterflies, light-headedness—maybe even nausea. Comfort, the thing you feel when you come home to your small town after a semester away—that was not expected.

Paige blinks, that strange look on her face disappearing, and Azzi realizes that she’s still holding onto the front of her shirt. She pushes her away teasingly, and Paige laughs, wrapping an arm around her as she turns to the girls, waving off their teasing remarks, and as Azzi watches her profile, feels the wetness on her bottom lip cool, she knows that she is falling and thinks nobody will be there to catch her when she reaches the bottom.

——————————————

The next morning, Azzi wakes up and immediately regrets it.

Paige’s window blanket must’ve fallen down last night, because the sun is shining through the room and it is…loud. She rolls onto her side to try and get away from it, and then that problem is fixed but another rises in the form of an abrupt tummyache. And Azzi prides herself on being a strong person, but as soon as she gets a tummyache it’s over for her.

Also, maybe the loud sun problem isn’t as fixed as she thought because her head is beginning to pound. She can feel it beating against her skull in time with the beating of her heart, and somehow that gives her a feeling akin to motion sickness, which makes her tummy hurt worse. She is probably going to throw up very soon, and should get up so she doesn’t do it all over Paige’s bed, but that’s where the third problem arises: she is so comfy. How can she ever be expected to leave this bed when she’s so goddamn comfy?

“Yo, are you gonna puke?”

Azzi groans. “Probably.”

Azzi’s facing away, so she can’t see what Paige’s doing, but she hears sheets rustle and then a pair of footsteps on the hardwood floor. Soon enough, Paige is standing in front of her, holding a hand out. “Come on, I’ll help you.”

Azzi looks up, and that makes her stomach turn again, the back of her neck burning. “I don’t want to.”

“I’m gonna kill you if you puke on my bed. Like, actually.”

If Azzi threw up on Paige’s bed, Paige would probably usher her to the bathroom, give her some water, and clean the sheets without complaining about it until a few days later. But Azzi still doesn’t think that’d be a good idea, so she sits herself up and is about to accept Paige’s hand when she realizes this is much more urgent than she thought. Almost as soon as her feet hit solid ground, the bile rises in her throat at an alarming rate and she has to run across the hall. She doesn’t make it to the toilet but manages the bathtub, which is arguably better.

Paige is there once she’s done, tying her hair up into a ponytail. “That it?”

Azzi spits. “No, I don’t think so.”

“Okay. Lemme grab you some pepto or somethin’. Hang tight.”

Once Paige walks away, Azzi wipes her mouth and all at once, like the tide coming in, remembers how the lips now coated in spit and bile were yesterday on Paige’s.

Of course, she also remembers the pet names, the affection, the flash of jealousy in Paige’s eyes that may or may not have been there. But it’s the kiss, the wonderful, tipsy, warm kiss that wrestles its way to the forefront of her pounding head and stays there, the memory replaying quite a few times before Paige comes back with pepto bismol and water. “Here.”

Azzi looks disdainfully at the bright pink medicine. “I don’t think I can swallow that, P.”

“Whoa, pause.“

“Chill,” Azzi says, rolling her eyes. “Gimme that.” she takes them from Paige’s hand and manages to swallow one before throwing up again, this time with Paige by her side to hold onto her while her shoulders heave.

“Aw,” Paige tuts sympathetically when she’s done. “My lil lightweight.”

Azzi rests her head on the edge of the tub while Paige turns on the tap, washing the bile away.

Azzi lifts her head enough to see Paige sit against the wall across from her. “Feel okay now?”

Her throat burns, and her tummy hurts, and throwing up in front of the love of your life is not a glamorous experience. But with Paige here with her, taking care of her, she doesn’t feel too bad.

If it only weren’t for that really good fucking kiss.

Azzi nods weakly even though she doesn’t know the answer, because saying ‘I hate the fact that we kissed last night, not because I regret it—I’ve been wanting to do it since we were kids in high school—but because now I’m worried I won’t be able to keep my feelings hidden for much longer which is worrisome because we haven’t even left for Montana yet, and also I wonder what this means for us and our fake relationship, because if it means kissing will become a normal thing I don’t know if I can do this’ would probably be weird.

“K, good. Thanks for not puking in my bed.”

Azzi smiles weakly at her, mouth still tasting like bile. How could Paige ever return her feelings when she has seen her like this a hundred other times?

Paige reaches a socked toe out to nudge Azzi’s calf. “Okay, you said you feel better, but you still look kinda…green.”

Azzi looks Paige in the eye, and manages maybe a second of eye contact before she’s thinking about how they looked at each other just like this after they kissed last night, and there it goes, the moment playing in her head once and then again. She can’t help but groan and rest her burning cheek to the cool tub.

And the universe should go to hell for making them best friends because Paige gets it instantly. “Oh, this is about last night.”

Suddenly the cool tub isn’t helping anymore. Azzi weakly shakes her head, but she knows the truth is showing plainly on her face.

“Yeah, whatever.” Paige pushes herself off the wall, wiggling her eyebrows. Azzi senses trouble. “It was a good kiss, huh?”

Azzi balks, then tries to reel it in. “That’s not…Paige…”

“Hold up,” Paige says, looking genuinely a little confused. “You don’t think I’m a good kisser?”

“No, no, but I just…” how can Paige talk about this so casually, like it was meaningless, something to be joked about? Azzi envies her lack of feelings. “Don’t you think we should talk about it?”

“Uh, I mean…” Paige scratches the side of her neck, and it occurs to Azzi that the bathroom isn’t an amazing place to talk about this. “Yeah, sure. If you want to.”

Not exactly an encouraging answer. Azzi strives on nonetheless. “It was our first kiss.”

“Yeah. Guess we coulda planned it better.”

“Yeah, I guess…” Azzi trails off. “Don't you think it was sort of…weird?”

Paige frowns again. “Damn! If you didn’t like the kiss just say that.”

Azzi hopes she can blame her flushed cheeks on the hangover. “P, I don’t mean it like that. It’s just that you’re my best friend—“

“That’s me.” Paige smiles proudly. It’s too fucking cute.

“And,” Azzi says pointedly, “I feel like, weird, about kissing you.”

She waits for Paige to answer, but Paige just stares, apparently waiting for her, too. Azzi sighs. “I worry we won’t be able to fake it well enough.”

“We did fine last night, didn’t we?”

“We were drunk last night.”

Paige makes a face. “I guess. But I feel like we’d do good even if we were sober, y’know?” She leans her head back against the wall. “And it’s not like kissing’s a big deal, anyway.”

Azzi’s eyes drop down to the tiled floor, cold against the thin material of her sleep pants. “Maybe not to you,” she mumbles.

There’s a shuffling, and then Paige is closer than before, nudging Azzi’s knee with her own. “Yeah, you’re right, that’s my bad.” There’s a silence, both of them thinking, and Azzi wonders if maybe Paige is thinking the same thing she is. About how their kiss last night felt…different. Different than a kiss between two friends, different than the other kisses with other people felt. And the look Paige gave her afterward…

But then Paige says, “Wanna practice, ma?” and Azzi was a fool to ever think they’d be on the same track.

Azzi splutters for a moment. “Practice?”

“Yeah. To prepare, in case we have to do it again,” Paige says casually, like it’s no big deal at all.

“I don’t think that’s…that’s not—“ Azzi cuts herself off on a sigh. Then she looks at Paige, really looks at her, and that’s when she catches the glint in Paige’s eyes, and she realizes—she’s messing with her. She’s taking advantage of Azzi’s obvious shyness about this whole thing.

What a little shithead.

Making a quick decision, Azzi leans forward a little bit, glancing down, then back up, looking at Paige through her lashes before she licks her lip.

Paige clocks it, tracks it with her eyes. Just like last night.

Azzi swallows down the nervousness and wills herself to be normal, reminds herself that this is Paige, and she has no reason to sink into her shell when she has the opportunity to take the upper hand.

“Okay,” Azzi says after a moment.

Paige’s eyes flit up, away from her lips. “Okay?”

Azzi nods, then lifts her hand to place over Paige’s knee, bare in her sleep shorts, before she dances her fingers delicately up her thigh. “You wanna practice kissing me, Paige?”

Paige swallows thickly. And then she nods.

Okay. So. That’s…unexpected.

Paige wants to kiss her.

That would explain the lip-ogling.

Azzi has half a mind to make the biggest mistake of her life and close the gap between them, but then she remembers they are sitting on the bathroom floor, and, ew, she just threw up. Twice.

Azzi manages what she hopes is a cocky smirk and leans away. “Well, too bad. Sick, remember?”

Paige’s eyes widen, like she’s just been snapped out of a trance. “Oh. Yeah.” She backs off then, relief coursing through Azzi, before she’s standing up and dusting off her shorts as she reaches down to help Azzi up. “You good to stand?”

Ok. So they’re not talking about it. Cool.

Azzi nods and takes Paige���s hand, her palm warm against her own as their fingers entangle for the two seconds it takes to go from sitting to standing, feeling a little dizzy from the altitude once she’s up.

Paige frowns at her. “You still look kinda messed up. How ‘bout you lay down. I can go get us some food? Gotta fuel up for all the studying today.”

Azzi groans, palming her face. “No, I forgot about finals.”

“Azzi Fudd? Forgetting about finals?” Paige teases, leading them out of the bathroom. “Last night really fucked you up, huh?”

“Yeah,” Azzi mumbles. “It was definitely the alcohol that did it.”

Paige glances back at her but doesn’t say anything, sitting Azzi down on the edge of the bed once they get there. “Okay, sit here and chill out. Lemme know if you need to puke again.” She smiles down at her, and Azzi smiles weakly back, before the older girl is turning on her heel and walking out of the room, closing the door gently behind her. Another door opens somewhere down the hall and then one of the girls’ voices mixes in with Paige’s as the roommates converse too quietly for Azzi to really hear. She sighs and flops down on the bed, hands wringing nervously at her stomach as she stares at the ceiling.

She has really gotten herself into some shit this time.

Her phone starts buzzing from its place on the nightstand, and Azzi straightens up to check it, her mother’s face flashing on the screen. Anxiety coils in Azzi’s belly at the sight of her mother’s contact, which usually brings her so much comfort.

Ever since she and Paige ‘came out’ to their friends, Azzi has been avoiding her mother like the plague. She knows she should just come out and tell Katie, but she’s not sure what she should tell her.

Azzi knows that Katie would disapprove if she found out about their little scheme, the woman avidly against lying. But if Azzi were to tell Katie what they’ve been telling everyone else—that they are a disgustingly happy, perfectly real couple—she’d be lying to her mother. And with Katie being her main confidante throughout her entire life, Azzi’s never really been good at that. She hasn’t gotten enough practice.

Not without guilt, Azzi lets it go to voicemail, holding her phone close to her chest afterwards, lying back down. She feels nauseous again at just the thought of lying to her mom. But if she came clean, would Katie make her feel guilty about it? Urge her to tell the truth, even if it meant not helping Paige like she promised she would?

Just as Azzi’s about to head back to the bathroom, Paige comes to the bedroom, leaning through the doorframe. “Toast’s almost done, Az.”

Azzi nods but doesn’t move. Paige lingers, sensing that Azzi’s going to say something.

Finally, after some internal debate, Azzi says, “What do you think I should tell my mom?”

Paige frowns. “I thought you talked to her already.”

Azzi shrugs. “We haven’t called. I’ve been avoiding her, but I feel bad about it.”

Paige bites her lip like she always does when she’s thinking, and it eases some of the tension out of Azzi’s shoulders, softening her around the edges. She leans against the doorframe, looking right at Azzi. “Well, what do you wanna do?”

Azzi shrugs helplessly.

Paige scrunches her nose (very cutely) and says, “Honestly, I don’t think we should tell her. Not yet, at least.”

Azzi heaves out a breath, not liking the sound of that answer. “You think?”

“Yeah. Have you met your mom?” Paige smiles fondly. “Lady can’t keep a secret for shit.”

“You’re right.” Azzi hadn’t thought of that, the fact her mom’s the town gossip. “She’d probably have the truth out before we could even finish telling her.”

Paige nods in agreement. “Exactly. Plus, it’s easier to tell everyone the same story, right?”

“I guess.” Unsteady, Azzi pushes herself up from the bed, walking over to Paige slowly. “You still sure this is a good idea?”

“Even if I wasn’t,” Paige says, “we’re too deep in it now.”

Azzi looks up at her solemnly. “The point of no return.”

“Uh-huh.” Paige sighs out a breath, looking almost regretfully at the girl in front of her. “Sorry again, about asking you to do this. I know it’s kinda a whole thing now.”

Azzi’s shaking her head before Paige can even finish. “I already told you, it’s fine. We go to Montana soon, and before we know it we’ll be done.” Azzi’s stomach sort of sinks at the thought. No more flirting, no more cheek-kissing, no more Paige protectively slinging an arm around her shoulder while they’re in public like she’s telling everyone Azzi’s her’s.

Azzi manages what she hopes is an optimistic smile anyway. “Let’s go eat breakfast. And then I’ll call my mom back and we can tell her together?”

Almost as if reading her mind, Paige easily wraps an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close as she leads her down the hallway. “Alright, ma. Sounds good to me.”

@smiths-fan--13 @ch12334

[missmarveledsblog]

A little something unexpected (Jake Seresin x Reader)

Summary: a routine shopping trip leads to something something unexpected for a certain blonde aviator .

warning: fluffy , goofy , jakes new to the simp life but hes not complaining . not proof read ( Soz )

( just realised i haven't done any hangman oneshots so here's one)

In the unknown of life it can throw curveballs , unexpected courses throughout life that  test whether you go through with it or not .  Like talking to a stranger in a bar , crossing the road at the wrong or right time , changing plans at the last minute, all things not expected but can cause a big or little outcome . Jake Seresin didn’t realize such an occasion was going to happen as he was grocery shopping one sunday morning. He didn’t know he was going to be changed in such a way it would alter his life in such a way .  He was going aisle to aisle getting and checking off his list , he may have shot  a few smiles and winks at the women he passed getting his various produce and products .  It was normal , part of his Sundays since he’s been stationed permanently in San Diego . turning corner as a women check him out shamelessly but it was his favorite  kind , then again he like whether they took charge or not once they left the next morning.  He was a hound dog , not yet ready to settle down just wasn’t in the cards for him and he was more than ok with that . he  wasn’t looking for love or so he thought  then he look up saw a scene before him  , she was beautiful , stunning and everything he didn’t know was real  only in some sort of movie or magazine . their was a familiar feeling to the woman he was looking at , maybe she was famous seen her in some movie at some point in life. But she was standing crossed arms looking completely unamused at the man before her , some sap trying to put the moves on ,jake thought or couples quarrel . 

“ come on stop playing hard to get “ the man almost whine same time as jake rolled his eyes , she did the same. 

“ i ain’t interested so why don’t you get on stop bugging me “ she huffed walking off or least trying to until the man grabbed her arm that when jake stood taller , chest out  ready to intervene help the pretty lady out . he  was hound dog in the sense he slept around but he never would pressure or alone put his hands on a woman .  Ready  to intervene and save the day  but before he could even step forward  she grab the man quickly having him now pressed up against the shelf hand twisted behind his back  before jake could even speak . 

“ let go of me you crazy bitch “ he squealed trying to get out of her grasp whole thing was amusing granted she was tiny compared to both him and the man she had in her hold .

“ don’t grab strangers or they grab back  now i’ll let you go and you’ll be on your way or i can hold you til the cops come sugar it’s all up to you “ she smiled sweetly .

“ first one “ the man pained out almost whisper as she did just that and watched him walking off  slightly impressed with the outcome til she realised she had an audience one a little old lady and another was a face she didn’t think she would see ever again . 

“ well done you show him “ the little old lady almost cheered before heading off . 

“ jake seresin ?” she called making him freeze . 

“ you know me ?” he asked confused she was familiar but not in the known familiarity sort of sense of things , cluing to scramble every inch of his brain to think of how he knew her , was she past flame but then again if he did go there he would remember her definitely. 

“ it’s y/n “ she laughed suddenly more closer and everything clicking into place , she was his best friend back homes little sister although she wasn’t little anymore. The former wildchild who wore baggy clothes getting trouble constantly of her escapades infairness jake barely saw her , she was either up in her room , sneaking out or out causing trouble.  She was always pretty but it was always an off limits sort of thing plus she was never interested in her brother or his friends jake was one of em . 

“ well trouble what hell you doing here” he smirked . 

“ was trying to shop you know it’s a grocery store”  . 

“ funny i mean san diego smart ass” he shook his head. 

“ well lets walk and talk  big guy  i ain’t causing a traffic jam “she walked. “ to answer you question i moved her last year for work , i am now a  nurse more specifically an ER nurse where all the action is , i’m guessing your stationed here ?” she asked . 

“ sure am ma’am ,  can’t believe your a nurse though?” he chuckled .

“ should seen my mama’s face when i told her i wanted to be one she thought i’d finally lost it but hell no one expected me pull it off except my big brother  mikey he always believes in me “ she smiled . 

“ hows big mike now haven’t talked to him since in a couple years, i know he married i missed the wedding because  i was deployed”. 

“ he’s got like five little one like she just kept going one after another “ she shook her head amusement filled her tone. “ but he loves dad life and he’s deputy on the force badge and all “ . 

It was so natural to fall into the conversation with her , more easier than anyone he’s met ,  reminiscing over the past and filling in the gaps  and present to the point he felt a little disappointed when they were heading out the store , swapping number did help stop the disappointment  , knowing the conversation could still continue. It was strange to say the least a normal routine moment leading to more as they parted ways  .  still there was something  there , something he couldn’t place his finger on  that was lingering after she left but he knew he had to see her again that was for certain .  heading home and yet she was all that he could think about , even stepping out and heading into his house, usually waving over a scantily clad housewife across housewife but he completely ignored her presence as he headed into his house  . 

It would be weeks before he would see her again  giving her busy schedule and his own the meet up was something very hard to maintain yet still keeping in contact he felt like teenager waiting for his crush to respond was that what this feeling was . Standing  at the dart board ready to take rooster money once more even he was starting to feel sorry but hey he asked for the rematch.  He wasn’t paying attention to the bell ringing above the door , it was when he started hearing the low whistles . 

“ christ on a bike “ was all he heard from the hawaiian shirt wearing man following  who suddenly wasn’t caring about the money he was losing , his gaze set completely else where only for jake to follow .  He stopped in his track , he himself was less caring of taking his fellow aviators money .  She stood out , of course her friend were pretty good looking women but shit she was breathtaking , she took his breath away that was for sure. The little black dress , boots and leather jacket all simple pieces of clothing and yet on her looked like  she was ready for a run way or glamorous photo shoot .  he watched the way her head fell back laughing at whatever her friends where talking about .It like she could sense his eyes ,  her connecting and smile bright on her face as she mouth a hi and  little wiggle of her fingers  in a wave .  his throat was dry but hell his mouth was watering . 

“ shit they have to be lost” was all rooster said as he made his way to the bar offering his services to the ladies if needed .  another new thing was the way his jaw clenched when roosters hand extended to her , the flirty grin and whatever he was saying had her laughing away.  Jealousy wasn’t a new feeling for jake, he was man enough to admit   it ( to himself and never out loud ) . But he was never jealous of a women attention  , usually he would just move on or get her attention his way . but now he watching his friend and a face from his past that he couldn’t shake like she permanently inserted herself into his brain .  then they were coming over , men watching the group of girl sauntering over to the familiar spot that was occupied by the famous dagger squad .  he watched as rooster introduced each of the girls to  his friend . 

“ i know hangman ,  we go way back “ her voice god it beat any melody of his  favorite songs . 

“ that we do darling “ he flashed flirty grin of  his own. 

“ we grew up  in the same town actually him and my big brother were best friends at one stage “ she explained to the perplexed face of her own friends and his  .

“ oh so was jake always well this or was he awkward secret nerd before .. please tell me he was a pip squeak  who couldn’t get lad “  nat perked up .

“ nah he and my brother were  ladies men , completely the star of everyone’s eyes including the women of our town  “she rolled her eyes as he had a beaming smile . 

“ i can see why he and you brother total heart throb material “ her friend mia purred and yet it was easy she was already showing the blonde the go but his eyes were solely fix on y/n .   the whole night he was following her every word it was like she was the only woman in the bar and in his eyes she was . even his friends were a little shocked at the  behavior of their friend . her friends gave up on pursuing the man well most of them did mia on the other hand seemed to be determined to get the blonde eye shedding  layers pulling her dress up a little more show off her legs or down to show cleavage and t was getting anyone but jake seresins .   she giggled louder and talked more lewdly  the dagger squad stood confused , while y/n friends looked slightly embarrassed  what they didn’t know was the seemly secret need to be better than y/n , mia goal to be the one who performed better , got everything that y/n wanted , she wasn’t a friend not really .  not that y/n cared it or took notice it was really one sided  , she was happy with her life , a job although stressful but worth it she enjoyed it most parts but came with hard times .  she  had boyfriends but never stayed around something never clicked not like it did with jake seresin which well was strange . not in sense she didn’t find he wasn’t attractive because even knew it  , it was more they were such different people back then  probably now too. Texting was fun , catching up was best. Someone from home here in san diego was something they both could enjoy. 

The night was going well other than the glares from her so called friend but other than that she and her other friends were having a great time she found them great bunch of people even being invited to other nights out if she was available . she hopped of the seat headed to the seat jake was at the bar getting more drinks while she was standing at juke box punching in the keys two heading to the group at same time as slow ride because booming throughout the speakers. Every single one of the dagger squad huffing and sighing.   

“ really bag man” nat groaned rubbing her temples . 

“ hey this good song but this time , it wasn’t me i was at the bar” he chuckled raising his drink in one hand and handing y/n a bottle of beer . 

“ actually this ones on me , it’s one of my favorite songs “ she winced . 

“ yeah totally good song” mia cheered. 

“ you told her turn it off earlier “ clara , one of y/n arched her brow. 

“ actually yeah you said you hated it” emma snorted . 

“  she only likes it because blondey , does even though blondey  isn’t haven’t having a bar of her” izzy scoffed starting to get annoyed a pick me mia . “ probably because y/n likes him is why she wants him “ she let slip . 

“ not true at all “  mia whined . 

“ yeah it is , why you come you don’t even like us or y/n “ izzy probed . 

“  i like you guys  , where is this coming from … not my fault y/n boyfriend came on to me that time “ she shook her head . 

“ wait what ??” y/n face fell . 

“  what it was just one time or two .. maybe it was three  relax it meant nothing  plus you dumped him so like chill , come on you get everything  let me have that and stop hogging his attention “ mia whined completely like she had done nothing wrong. 

“ she aint hogging my attention actually in fact i’m hogging hers  hope you girls don’t mind i’m gonna steal her to “ he looked to the others who couldn’t help have shit eating grin. 

“ enjoy “ izzy smirked  waving as jake pulled her hand waving to penny a silent he would pay his tab next day.  She on other hand was quiet  not the usual way she was before trying  to think back and it all clicking .  she heard the bell ring and a yell of mia screaming  “ come on “ as jake looked to see the woman pouting pulling her phone off the bar and round of cheers, an instant karma not to the point it really measures but hey it was a start .  

He brought her down the beach still some light of the bar illuminating in a sense but not too much it disturbed the beauty of the night . how the moonlight reflected on the ocean , the sound of waves crashing  such calm compared to the storm that was nearly brewing in the hard deck .  He realized the fact he was still holding her hand only this time her fingers where intertwined with his and he could stop thinking how perfect  they fit like two pieces of a puzzle .   they didn’t talk , like  the unspoken words spoke volumes enjoying the silence and each others company til she shivered once more then wordlessly he lead them off the beach towards his truck . unlocking  it opening the passenger side as she hoped in , all not a word spoken from their mouths but the eyes told each other everything.  All that was running through jakes mind was how perfect she fit in his life in different ways , like how perfect she was sat in his truck . taking the hoodie from the backseat handing it to her a whisper of “ thanks “ spilling from her lips . this was new this was something he hadn’t experience in a long time .  the drive was different somehow  but it was almost routine.  Driving pretty girl home but this wasn’t just any pretty girl it was y/n . She was different  , everything about his feelings were different to what he was used to. The fact he like seeing her in his clothes or at his side.  Pulling up to her house he didn’t want it to end not the night , not her company , it all . 

“ you wanna come in for a drink or coffee”  seemly she was feeling the same the long forgotten drama of a jealous friend  to the fact she was solely in trance from the blonde aviator that sat beside her. 

“ yeah i’d like that “  he smiled hoping out of the car jogging to her side and holding his hand out to help her out of the car .  once more fingers intertwined walking up toward the  house , something even in the exterior felt homely , flowers that sat perfectly  around the deck in a weird sense reminded him of home  in texas ,  she opened the door throwing her keys in the bowl her hand still in his only for jake to puller her spinning her into  his arms , a yelp and giggle spilling from her lips man he loved that sound , tipping her face up with his free hands leaning down so close he could hear her breathe hitch , he could feel how close it was  all he had to do was do it  , just move that little bit that would connect his lips to her plump pillow soft lips .  the nervous feeling in his was definitely new one , had him frozen almost looking into her eyes watching him closely only  to be the one  to  be the one to take that step , that one push that had her lips on his. Instantly the nervous feelings gone his hand gone straight to her hair pulling her closer if it was possible . never had he felt a kiss like it , one that  had him lost , one that had him addicted  just one touch  like  it was his sole source  of living . her lips perfect against his , her hand on his chest sliding up and around his head  , her own tilting for new angle to deepen the kiss . the way his tongue dance with her own , tasting each other  like it was only thing in the world even the need for air wasn’t a  thought when the two so lost in each other . until it was pulling back both breathlessly looking at the other , the smile appearing on their faces .  lifting her up he could feel the vibration of her laugh matching his own  giving directions  around the house in between pecks and sensual kisses , nothing was rushed .   nothing was pushed and exceeded  his own need , no jake wanted to take his time , he wanted to burn this moment into his memory  . the feeling of her in his arms still swallowed by his hoody or the feeling of her soft skin on her legs on  the palm of his hands .  her taste , the way she was looking at him it was all something that he didn’t want to stop not ever .  

That moment of confusion when  he began to stir , the scent of somewhere else  , the feel of somewhere else . eyes cracking open to see the morning sun settling in the room , turning to find the bed empty .  brows scrunched together  as rubbed the sleep out of his eyes til he could hear the muffled voice coming from behind the door . a smirk on his lips as he got out of bed grabbing his underwear , his shirt somewhere missing could find it later .  following the sound of the voice , taking in her home something that was missed the night previous the way it felt cozy , the way it felt like home laced in the wall . how he could picture himself coming home from a long day and just something simple as sitting with her wrapped in his arms eating take out . 

“ is that jake seresin “ a voice called as he walked into the kitchen , a familiar voice one he’s spent his whole childhood until he went to the naval academy . 

“ hey mikey “ he wince not realizing he just interrupted a family facetime  while in his underwear . 

“ it is hey y’all catch up while i finish this “ she smirked , amused at his reaction  or how heated his cheeks where. 

“  hey Mikey , how are you man “ he winced walking closer taking her phone in his hands so he wasn’t exposing much of  himself to his childhood friend while standing in said  friend little sisters kitchen .  

“ breakfast will be awhile sit “ she called not looking at him but he could tell she was fighting the urge to laugh . 

“ he’s the guy ?” mikey called. 

“ he’s the guy now catch up “ she called back . 

“ hurt her  and law be on your ass seresin . but other than that how you been man hows the navy “ her brother said easily even making her look at her phone with a look of “ what the fuck” written on her face. 

“ good man permanently stationed here , deployments aren't as long and get to teach the future aviators how its done “ he chuckled . 

Wasn’t long  til the bestfriend chatting up a storm  jake was barely paying attention though his missing shirt that almost swallowed her whole as she moved around kitchen making him breakfast shit this wasn’t helping his fantasies it was only feeding them , when she came over plates in her hand place them on table and heading back to get more jake said his goodbyes as she yelled her placing the drinks and condiments on the table only for jake to pull her on to his lap. Kissing her neck and her cheek til she turned her head and kissing his lips , the domestic feel to it all didn’t scare him , it should of but  it was y/n  , it felt right .  her perched on his lap while they ate breakfast  . She told him of her lack of plans  so she was probably going to chill home for day , so he invited her to the beach . a sort of weekly tradition of going the beach with the dagger squad  and friends on base , something she knew of from their text . what she didn’t know this was a first of many things. It was first of him staying over that was rare he usually went home once the deed was done , he was usually home along sitting at his kitchen island  , it was also a new thing of him bringing someone with him to the beach , never had he brought a fling but he hoped this wasn’t a fling it was too good to be a fling. Once breakfast was done and he cleaned up much to her telling him to stop falling on deaf ears . they showered  , ready  and headed to jakes so he could change his clothes knowing he was going to take another shower after beach . 

The faces of his friends where priceless except javy and nat the two sense something growing and it was an answer to jake sudden behavior change over the last few weeks. How he was glue to his phone  or barely paying attention to the women that batted their lashes at him in hard deck .  her hand in his as they got closer only to see her friends there too  well two izzy and emma. 

“ bob and rooster invited us “ izzy smirked . “ see jake had same idea” . 

“ well since there is girls here , lets set up over here and leave  the boys to their football “ nat cheered just as y/n  went to leave with the girls jake pulled spinning her as she fell into a fit of giggles as jake kissed every part of her face before getting her lips . 

“ ok ok come on suck face later”rooster groaned pretending to be repulsed but the smile on his face betrayed him . 

“ see ya later honey “ jake winked  patting her ass as she shot him a playful glare . 

Rushing to her friends to find out what happened when she left to here mia had to pay for a round of drinks  and left in an uber alone not long after  .  the turn in events izzy asked bob for his number  which the shy WSO almost thought she was joking , while shy emma gave rooster hers  but left the bar alone but all wanting to know what happened with her and jake . she told them it all  ( well not all ) . nat couldn’t believe it  , all her time knowing jake seresin and hearing this almost husband material man , one of the biggest man sluts of the hard deck being so soft   and  fluffy . then when she looked to the group of her fellow dagger squad members , the way jake seresin was looking at y/n . Such love and awe in  his green eyes it all made sense. 

Distracted was the best term to use as he and guys stood , his eyes automatically landed on her , ears picking up her laughter as she sat in the warm sand , talking animatedly about something . it made a bright smile emerge on his face . like it was just here on the beach , she wasn’t even talking to him , or could he hear what she was saying but she had his attention either way . 

“ i’ll be damned , never thought i would see the day unless this is some coma , drug induced dream “rooster let out low whistle finally bringing the texan back to the group. 

“ what are you  talkin bout now bradshaw” jake rolled his eyes. 

“ it’s seems a miracle has happened and bag man is in love “ rooster smirked .

He wanted to tell him no , he was wrong that jake seresin and love never even crossed paths and yet he couldn’t . It was all clicking in his head , how it all made sense and this was one of those instances where he could actually agree with rooster. Jake was in love and it wasn’t scaring him like he thought it would shit he was welcoming it ,  letting it fill his brain and his heart. 

“ i think rooster is on to something i think my boy is in love” javy shook jake shoulders side to side playfully.

“ i ain’t denying she something special but if you think ya beating me today bradshaw got another thing coming “ he winked .  “ LET'S PLAY SO I CAN BRING MY GIRL ON A DATE” he yelled catching her attention how her wide eyes soften and the coy playful smile on her lips appeared. 

“Since when am i your girl  seresin” she stood hands on hips . 

“ since the moment i saw you in that aisle kicking ass honey lets not deny the obvious here” he smirked walking toward her , not one of them complained the sudden shift of the game change . 

“ well kiss your girl and get back to your game cowboy “ she wrapped her arms around his waist as he held her face so softly kissing her soft lips like it was first time and definitely vowed to himself he would be doing it til the last day he had on earth. Ignoring their friends hoots and hollering in the background . nah his girl was his main thought. 

Things were unexpected , one little thing could alter and change course of someone's life and in this instance jake seresin was happy with the outcome  what was a routine shopping trip because it would lead him to this , to love and even more importantly it would lead him to her .

[megalony]

Commitment- Part 2

Here is the second part of my Dark! Evan Buckley imagine, requested by anon. I hope you will all like it.

Any feedback always makes my day.

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Dark! Evan Buckley Masterlist

Part 1

Summary: Now that Evan has (Y/n) back and they're having a baby, he will do anything he can to make sure she stays with him and he can protect her at all costs.

Enjoy.

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A tired smile pulled at (Y/n)'s lips as she leaned her head to the left so her cheek could rest on Evan's shoulder. Her eyes were blearily focusing on the tv, but she wasn't really paying attention to the movie that was serving as background noise.

She was quite surprised Evan was paying attention to the movie, considering he had missed the first forty minutes. He hadn't long come home from shift and it must have been a tiring shift because Evan didn't have his usual boundless bursts of energy tonight. (Y/n) suspected he would be asleep before the end of the film.

She tilted her head back a little so she could glance up at him, noting the way he had his head at an angle and his eyes were narrowed like they were lenses zooming in on the tv.

He could feel her staring because a coy grin lit up his otherwise tired features and he tilted his head in her direction. His reddened lips stole a sweet kiss and his arm slowly shifted out towards her so his hand could curl around her thigh.

When he kissed her temple, (Y/n) went back to leaning on his shoulder and she tried to curl her legs up beneath her on the sofa which allowed her to lean into Evan's side a bit more.

She curled her hands around his arm that was draped across her waist and buried her nose in his shirt, inhaling his scent. Her thumbs stroked over his arm while she felt his hand skimming softly up and down her thigh and she was quite surprised he hadn't glued his hand to her bump by now. Ever since she started to show it seemed to make things more real for them both and Evan's hands were always attaching to her stomach somehow.

Although (Y/n) was glad he wasn't glued to her stomach at the moment or else he might have felt the way she kept twitching and shifting around.

"Okay?" Evan murmured when (Y/n) pushed into him a little more like she was about to lean over and lay on his lap instead.

"Yeah, just going stiff." She had probably been sat down for too long.

Now that she worked from home, (Y/n) was a lot calmer, but she was becoming rather hibernated. She wasn't moving about like she did in the office, running to the kitchen or the toilets or moving to give files and take phone calls. She could work right here in the living room and usually got all her work done in one swoop which meant she wasn't moving around too much.

Evan had helped her change things around so she could work from home after they both moved into their new home together. He showed her how much easier it was going to be, she wouldn't be anxious if she was home. And if she didn't feel well, she was in the safest place and didn't have to call in sick.

(Y/n) tried her best not to cling to Evan's arm when her stomach tensed and she coiled her knees up a bit higher to her stomach.

She didn't want to worry him by telling him she hadn't felt very well today. It felt like she had pulled a muscle so she was trying to find the best position to sit where it eased the tension in her stomach and lower back.

She managed a smile when Evan's hand shifted up to brush his knuckles against the lower side of her stomach and she could tell he was doing it absentmindedly.

They were six and a half months along now and (Y/n) knew Evan was getting excited each day they got closer to meeting their baby. This is all he'd ever wanted, a partner and a family of his own and now it was happening. And (Y/n) wasn't as worried about things moving too fast with Evan, they were making things work and she knew he loved her more than anything.

Letting go of his arm, (Y/n) slowly uncurled her legs when she felt another uneasy feeling wash over her.

"Gonna get a drink," She whispered while she felt Evan's hand move from her bump to her lower back to help her up.

It felt like her legs had gone numb when she started to walk from the living room towards the kitchen where a chill passed through her and had her shivering. She flicked the kettle on and found her cup from the sink, but she felt like sitting down on the floor when another twinge pulled at her stomach.

On and off, all day, she had felt like this but it had steadily gotten worse towards the evening. As if (Y/n)'s body knew that Evan would panic if he found out, and that (Y/n) couldn't cope with little pains, let alone worrying pains that might become serious.

Her hands began to shake when the kettle finally boiled and she tried to pour herself a cup of tea, but the water spilled around the cup and trickled onto the counter.

When a sudden tightening pain tore through her abdomen, (Y/n) dumped the kettle down on the side and hunched over. One hand gripped the counter while she other moved to press into her stomach like it would make any difference. She wished pressing down on the source of the pain would make it go away.

Her eyes snapped shut and a deep, shuddering breath left her lips as she tried to ride out the feeling and make it go away.

This wasn't like normal twinges that (Y/n) had grown used to during the pregnancy so far. This wasn't the same as when she felt tired and run down from low iron and vitamins. It wasn't the way her head thumped and ached when she felt like she was going to faint- which was the reason why (Y/n) didn't go out alone anymore.

Like Evan said, what would she do if she fainted and she was on her own? She wouldn't have anyone to look after her or make sure she was okay. It was why she went out either with Evan or Maddie.

"Evan?" She hated the way her voice wobbled when she called out and her teeth punctured into her bottom lip to smother a groan when another pain twitched in her stomach. Her forehead pressed down into her arm that was on the counter and her other hand stayed pushing into her stomach.

"Yeah, babe?" The sing-song tone in Evan's voice almost made (Y/n) want to smile.

"C-can you come here?"

Evan didn't like the feeble tone in (Y/n)'s voice; he knew that tone. Something was worrying her.

His brows furrowed and he pushed up off the sofa, clicking his back into place as he headed into the kitchen. His bare feet tensed and shuddered against the cold tiled floor and he pulled his slacks up over his hips when the loose joggers felt like they were about to slide down his hips.

When he walked into the kitchen, Evan didn't like what he was faced with. (Y/n) leaning on the counter, temple pressing into her arm and her other hand cradling her bump.

"What's wrong?" His voice changed from melodic to rough around the edges and he hurried over to stand behind her. His hands found her hips and his chest leaned over her back while his chin perched on her shoulder.

"I'm getting cramps…" The uneasiness in her voice was coupled with worry bubbling over in her soft eyes when she managed to tilt her head to look up at Evan.

She gingerly moved her hand from her stomach to hold Evan's wrist that was gripping her waist. She shifted his hand round until he was cradling the area of her stomach where the pain was getting worse. She could feel his chest hardening and tensing as his palm pressed firmly into her stomach and his thumb traced over her skin, clearly trying to calm her down.

"Since when?" The gruff tone of his voice told (Y/n) not to lie to him and she closed her eyes so she didn't have to see his expression change.

"Earlier?" (Y/n) all but whimpered when she heard a growl vibrate through Evan's chest. "They w-weren't this bad though."

She thought it had only been tenderness or slight discomforting pains, they hadn't been this strong. (Y/n) had been able to ignore them earlier, but she couldn't ignore these growing pains, they were reducing her to tears from both pain and anxiety.

Her arms shuddered when Evan's hands slid round to her upper arms and he carefully reeled her up off the counter and turned her in the direction of the doorway.

"Come on, we're going to the emergency room." Evan's lips attached to the back of (Y/n)'s head and his hands went back to cupping her hips.

He wasn't taking any chances, if she wasn't feeling well he was taking her to see a doctor.

When the door opened, (Y/n) found herself reaching across for Evan's hand as if she thought someone was going to walk in and take him away from her. She didn't want to be at the hospital in the first place, being here without Evan wasn't an option.

Sometimes it felt like Evan was her safety net. She didn't go out the house unless he, Maddie or someone else was with her, mainly Evan. (Y/n) had gotten so used to him being around that she didn't like to go to general appointments for anything unless he went with her. Especially since she hadn't been well.

What would she do if she went out alone and she collapsed without Evan there? What would of happened tonight if she came to the hospital without him and got bad news?

Her hand interlocked with Evan's and she pulled his hand to rest on her lap while she swung her legs back and forth on the edge of the bed.

"Okay, it looks like the medication we gave you has worked to take away the pains, right?" The comforting smile on the doctor's face was enough to put both (Y/n) and Evan at ease.

She nodded, adverting her eyes down to her bump for a few seconds before looking back to the doctor who pulled a chair over and sat down opposite them.

They had done an ultrasound, taken some bloods and given (Y/n) some pain relief and relaxants which had taken away all the cramps she came in with. It almost felt too good to be true, as if at some point the pains were going to come back or they were going to find out something else was disasterously wrong.

"Good. Well, the ultrasound confirmed the placenta has started to move down, which isn't good, but it's not dangerous yet."

"Yet?" Evan's lips curled into a panicked smile and he began to rub his free hand across his jaw that was lightly coated with stubble. He didn't like the sound of that.

"The placenta might stay where it is, but there is always the chance that it could drop further and that would make things complicated. Are you experiencing a lot of stress or anxiety lately?"

Just the notion of his words made adrenaline flutter in (Y/n)'s stomach and ignite in her chest, stealing her breath away. She was shrouded with anxiety, both her and Evan were, for separate reasons. Sometimes Evan's anxieties rubbed off on (Y/n), sometimes when he began to get suffocating (Y/n) didn't know what to do and it panicked her.

But things hadn't been like that since she found out she was pregnant. At least, not in the same ways as before. (Y/n) knew Evan was being cautious around her because of the baby, not because he didn't trust her or he wanted to control every aspect of her day like he used to. With her working from home he didn't have to message her every day and ask where she was and what she was doing.

"Not a lot, not really… can I go home?" She almost felt bad for asking because she felt the way Evan squeezed her hand. They both knew Evan wasn't taking her home without the doctor's advice.

"I'm happy to discharge you, but on the basis that you go on bed rest from now on." His smile was as if he had just given (Y/n) some amazing news, and in a way he kind of did. (Y/n) didn't have to stay, Evan could take her back home and he could go to work tomorrow knowing that she was going to be fine.

But she didn't want to go on bedrest. (Y/n) didn't want to be confined to the bedroom or be told she couldn't do any housework or go out to do the shopping with Evan or go to Maddie's house for a coffee.

"For how long?" Evan's question took (Y/n) rather by surprise, but when she looked across at him, he looked like he was faraway in his own world.

"Your records show you're only thirty weeks, and we typically class anywhere before thirty-five weeks as premature. So I'd like you on bed rest and light duties until that point so we don't risk premature labour, from thirty-five weeks we can discuss the next steps. Okay?"

(Y/n) found herself nodding along, but she didn't like the sound of that. Her head flopped onto Evan's shoulder and she shuffled into his side, seeking some sort of comfort and relief.

She heard the doctor mutter a few more things about taking it easy, no stress and coming back if she had anymore cramps or any bleeding. And she heard Evan say work was fine because she worked from home.

At least that was something they didn't have to worry about. (Y/n) would take her laptop and paperwork up to the bedroom and carry on working from home as normal. She would just be in her pyjamas, laid in bed rather than sat downstairs on the sofa. But she might not work as many hours during the day now; working from home was easier, but it was still stressful.

When the door closed and the doctor left them with their discharge papers, (Y/n) felt Evan twisting around so he was facing her on the bed. One hand cupped the side of her face and his thumb traced along her jaw while his other hand slid beneath her shirt to cup her bump.

"That's you in bed for the next five weeks then, sweetheart."

He felt (Y/n) groan against his chest and he chuckled, pressing his lips to the back of her head for a few seconds.

"But… but maybe I could-"

"You think you can bargain this with me?" His words caused her to look down at his chest again, somewhat defeated. "I don't think we have a choice, baby. Don't want a preemie, do we? I gotta keep you both safe."

The feeling of his thumb tracing her stomach made (Y/n) nod. No, if they could help it they didn't want a premature baby. They wanted to keep their baby safe for as long as possible.

"It's not gonna be fun," She murmured into his chest, but when he tilted her head back and stole a kiss, she felt like he was draining all the air from her lungs. His chest leaned down on hers and his hand shifted from her waist to curl around her inner thigh.

Her hand gripped his wrist that was cupping her face and her other hand reached behind her to plant down on the bed, propping herself up before she fell back when Evan leaned into her. She could feel him smiling against her lips as his tongue traced her lower lip and his teeth scraped against hers.

"Oh I don't know," He panted against her lips, leaning his head to one side as his nose nudged hers. "I can think of a few ways to make it fun."

***

With a deep breath, (Y/n) hooked the basket of washing under her left arm and reached out for the bannister rail with her free hand. She almost felt silly for taking the stairs this slow, but she knew it would be just her luck to trip or stumble and then have Evan find out and ask what she had been up to.

Her feet felt cold against the carpet once she was safely down the stairs. She hadn't worn her slippers for the precise reason that she might trip with her hands full and her concentration lacking.

She switched the basket of washing into both hands and headed past the living room and into the kitchen. It felt good to be walking about. Bed rest meant her legs had been going numb and she could barely walk the house without going dizzy from how used she was getting to lying in bed.

It felt good to work while she was in bed, go through her paperwork, type up her notes and such. And with old movies on in the background or tv shows, (Y/n) was watching more tv now than she ever had before.

But it still wasn't the same. She didn't feel right, it felt like she was being lazy or purposely avoiding jobs to have an easy life.

And with Evan at work like he was now, it left (Y/n) at odds with what to do with herself. Maddie and the team said they would pop round every other day to try and cheer her up and check in on her. But while Evan was at work, (Y/n) was determined to do a little housework.

One thing at a time. Washing today. Hoover the bedroom tomorrow. Hoover downstairs the next day. One task at a time so he couldn't say she was overdoing anything or pushing herself too hard. (Y/n) had to move around a little, even the doctor said she needed to move around at some points in the day, she just had to rest for most of it.

When she reached the kitchen, (Y/n) set the basket down and used the counter to ease down to her knees so she could load the washer.

For the last week she had been living in her pyjamas and Evan's loungewear- which she was wearing more often because he loved seeing her in his clothes. It drove him mad.

Right now, she was in one of Evan's sets, a plain black shirt that hung off her shoulders and kept riding down her chest. And a pair of his grey sleep shorts because they were comfy and loose around her bump.

Once the washer was loaded, she sank back on her heels and stayed kneeling on the floor for a few moments. When her phone buzzed in her cardigan pocket, she fished it out, dragging her other hand through her hair to get it from her eyes.

*Will you go back to bed please? xx

How did Evan know?

How on Earth did he know that she had come downstairs to do the washing? Surely that couldn't just be intuition. If it was, he was basing it on the assumption that (Y/n) actually would be out of bed at that exact moment or that she would of gotten up at some point today which made him justified.

That couldn't be a coincidence, could it? That Evan messaged her the exact moment she got out of bed. She had only gotten out of bed today to go get a shower and then to go to the toilet a few times. This was the first time today that she had come downstairs.

She set her phone back in her pocket, deciding to ignore the message for now and think on how to respond. It took some effort to get to her feet and move to the fridge to grab herself a drink. Evan had started leaving her a few drinks upstairs before he left for work so she didn't have to make as many trips downstairs.

Anxiety pooled in her stomach when her phone went off again and she took a large gulp of juice before she dared to look.

*Baby, go to bed. xx

It was as if she could actually hear his voice and see his concerned expression staring down at her because she found herself trudging through into the living room. She aimed for the sofa, placing her drink down on the table before she eased down and snuggled into the fluffy blanket laid over the cushions.

She may as well sit down here for a while, it would be time to eat soon and the baby was getting peckish. And it meant she could sort the washing once it was done and not have to trek up and down the stairs more than once.

(Y/n) turned the tv on and selected a random movie, but a few minutes later, she felt her phone pinging in her pocket with a different notification. She knew that sound. That noise was drilled into her this past week.

It was her alarm.

She had set alarms on her phone to call Evan when he was at work to let him know she was okay.

Before her cramps last week, (Y/n) had text Evan a few times when he was on shift to check in so neither of them panicked about the other. But since she'd been put on bed rest, she had seen Evan's anxiety spark this last week. He didn't want anything to happen while he was at work, especially since he knew (Y/n) started having those cramps while he had been at work and she failed to mention it to him.

So now he wanted her to ring and check in with him so he knew she was doing okay. And (Y/n) knew what she was like, she had to set reminders or she would forget and then Evan would panic, which in turn made her panic.

"Hey baby." His voice was sugary sweet and (Y/n) could picture his usual charismatic smile on his face which made her want to smile too.

"I'm fine, you know." There was a cheesy element to her voice while she curled her knees up on the sofa and tried to burrow down to get comfy. As if she were a bird arranging feathers in a nest to make it homely.

She didn't want to ring Evan at work and have the team think she was pestering him or annoying him or being clingy. She would rather message him to say she was okay or she was tired or she couldn't wait for him to come home. But he wanted to hear her voice; Evan could tell when she was lying to him. He would know and judge by her voice if she was alright or not.

"Yeah, so why weren't you in bed?"

That all-knowing tone in his voice had (Y/n) shivering and coiling her free arm around her bump. It felt like the baby always knew when Evan was around because they livened up immediately.

"How'd you know?" Her response was quiet and she burrowed her face into the cushion.

"Intuition. And the motion sensors go off when we move around the house. What were you doing?" His voice changed to a playful undertone which made (Y/n) feel a bit better. He wasn't trying to start an argument or tell her off, he was checking in on her.

(Y/n) didn't think about the motion sensors in each room. They were in the corners of the ceiling and they flashed red when doors opened or motion was detected. Were they connected to Evan's phone? (Y/n) didn't think they were as technical as that, she thought they only connected to the security box in the hall that they barely used since (Y/n) was almost always home.

"The washing…"

A smirk formed on Evan's lips and he ran his free hand across the back of his neck, clicking it into place.

He didn't see any need to tell (Y/n) that there were cameras near the front door and in the living room. Evan added them for security, but they also came in very handy so he could keep an eye on (Y/n).

She worked from home now and that meant when Evan was at work, she was home alone. He didn't like the thought of leaving her all day, sometimes for double shifts, when (Y/n) was pregnant and prone to collapsing. This way, if she passed out or collapsed or had cramps again, Evan would be able to find out and get to her quicker. And if he saw that she wasn't well during the day and she didn't tell him, he knew to look after her and be concerned when he came home.

It also meant that when he had looked in the app now while he had a few minutes, he saw that she was downstairs doing something in the kitchen.

She was supposed to be on bed rest, Evan didn't want her overworking herself and doing all the jobs around the house when he would do them when he was home. She needed to rest, for her and the baby.

"You're on bedrest for a reason, baby. Leave the cleaning for me to do, you're supposed to take it easy." Evan didn't think he would have to keep telling (Y/n) to go and rest, he thought she would take it easy and not try and overdo it because of what the doctor said.

But if he had to keep telling her to go back to bed or to sit down and rest, then that's what he would do. He had to keep her and their baby safe and looked after.

"I feel useless."

"Having a baby doesn't class as useless."

He was glad his words seemed to make (Y/n) see reason and when she agreed with him, it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

His phone stayed in his hand after they said goodbye and he looked back on the camera. She was watching tv in the living room. He had a funny feeling that she would still try and do some cleaning or mooch about the house in a while, but he would keep an eye on her. At least for now, she was resting like she was supposed to.

"All good?"

Evan twisted to look over his shoulder, spotting Hen stood behind the sofa with one brow arched and a smile on her face.

The team would never say anything, but they all knew something had been playing on Evan's mind for the last week or so. They had all been so happy for him when he told them that he and (Y/n) were back together and they were having a baby. Bobby had helped him and (Y/n) move in to their new home, the whole team had been round for a house-warming party. And Evan had brought (Y/n) by the station a few times.

But more recently, Evan was rather pre-occupied. It was like his body was here on shift, but his mind was somewhere else. It wasn't always a bad thing and he was never too distracted that he messed up on shift, but it was a little concerning.

"Yeah, yeah just checking in with (Y/n). She's on bedrest now, makes me worried, she won't tell me if she's not well."

At least Evan had other ways of making sure she was okay and keeping an eye on her.

***

"Thank you, these are so sweet." Leaning forward, (Y/n) folded the onesie up and placed it on the pile on the coffee table.

Her eyes cast over to Hen who was sat beside her on the sofa and she smiled as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Hen had messaged Evan an hour ago, asking if they were both free and if she could come and see them for a bit.

(Y/n) had been glad she had been dressed and already moving around the house, almost as if she had some intuition that someone might be visiting them. She would hate to welcome Hen in while she was in her dressing gown or some of Evan's loungewear.

It had been a surprise when Hen came in with a bag and handed over about six onesies, some bibs, socks and cardigans. They were all different kinds, some with teddies on, some with moons and stars and a few plain ones. None gender-specific because they didn't know what they were having yet; they were keeping it a surprise.

"Just a few things me and Karen had from fostering, we thought you could use them instead."

"Thanks," Evan grinned and took another look through some of them, he rather liked the teddy bear onesie which was now one of his new favourites.

"Do you want a drink?"

"Sure, some coffee would be good."

(Y/n) swung her legs round and went to get up, but she paused when she felt Evan's hand on her thigh. And she watched as he got up before she had chance to push up from the sofa.

"You stay there, I've got it."

Rolling her lips together, (Y/n) let herself slouch back into the sofa and her hands moved to rest on her bump. Her feet started to jitter and tap against the floor as something to do and when she looked over at Hen, she smiled softly.

"Bedrest." She muttered softly, trying to hide the disappointment from her voice because of how useless this was making her feel.

Resting and taking it easy was all well and good, but (Y/n) didn't like not doing things and sitting around while Evan or anyone else did things for her. It made her feel like an ornament or some kind of helpless person.

She could make them all a drink, that wasn't too strenuous.

"Are you feeling any better?" Hen leaned back into the sofa and slouched her arm on the armrest while her brow rose and a tender look crossed her face.

"A bit… still a bit jittery I guess." (Y/n) wasn't going to lie, she was feeling a lot better than two weeks ago when she had those cramps. And resting meant she hadn't had anymore fainting spells. But it did mean she was getting vertigo and feeling uneasy when she was finally moving about from too much time doing nothing. And panicking was making her feel sick from time to time.

It was a sliding scale and (Y/n) couldn't seem to find any sense of balance, especially not when Evan was involved, tipping the scales in the direction he wanted.

Hen grinned, but her lips pursed and she leaned forward a little when (Y/n)'s phone pinged and she watched a flash of panic cross (Y/n)'s eyes. Hen couldn't help but notice the little reminder that flashed up on (Y/n)'s screen.

'Call babe and check in.'

And beneath the alert, in little bubble text, was a note that read 'next reminder in 3 hours.'

Adrenaline sparked in (Y/n)'s stomach and she dismissed the notification, glancing towards the kitchen as if to reassure herself that Evan was in there. She didn't have to call him today, he was already home with her. But that little flash of panic that dwelled in her chest appeared anyway. She always felt that rush and those sparks when her alerts went off as if she forgot that sometimes Evan was home with her and she didn't have to check in. She knew if she didn't message him soon he would worry and they would both spiral.

She tossed her phone onto the coffee table and managed a smile when Evan walked back through and set some drinks down on the table.

When he sat down beside her, (Y/n) moved her hand to his thigh and inched forwards on the edge of the seat. She tried to keep the smile on her face as she got up, feeling Evan's hand on her waist and his eyes following her.

"Where you going?"

"Just need the bathroom, again." Her hand moved to his shoulder as she passed and headed towards the stairs. The one good thing about when she stayed in bed was not having to heave up and down the stairs to go to the toilet.

Hen took the cup Evan offered her with a grateful smile and she sank back into the sofa with one leg curled beneath her. Her right elbow rested on the back of the sofa and she watched Evan glance back at the stairs, watching (Y/n) until she disappeared from sight.

"She still seems a bit anxious." Hen leaned her head on her hand and took a sip of coffee as she looked across at Evan.

"A little, that's why she works from home, she was getting stressed in the office."

It wasn't the only reason. Evan could keep an eye on (Y/n) better if she worked from home, but he knew she had been panicking a lot when she went to work. Being home meant she wasn't around other people who annoyed her or made her anxious. It meant if she wasn't well she could just rest instead of pushing herself too hard and she could choose her own hours to work during the day and take extended breaks.

And it meant if she wasn't well Evan could be around and look after her and tell her to take it easy, which he couldn't do if she was away from him in the office.

"You know she can still make drinks and walk around. I know she's meant to be resting, but she still needs to walk around, circulation and moving about is good for the baby."

She didn't want to butt in, she really didn't. Hen knew how much Evan cared and how he could get overprotective of those he loved and those close to him. She had seen him act this way when he was looking after Chris when Eddie wasn't well, and she had seen him panic about Bobby when their Captain wasn't well or was suffering mentally. He had even been overly cautious with her and Chimney at times.

But Hen didn't want Evan to start smothering (Y/n) or becoming a mother hen if he didn't need to. He would make them both anxious if he was too cautious with (Y/n) and that wouldn't help her.

"Really?" A grin lit up his face and the playful, joking tone in his voice made Hen want to smile.

"Buck, I see you at work, always checking your phone, and (Y/n)'s got reminders on her phone. Maybe you're… you're making each other stressed. You're worrying, (Y/n)'s trying to calm you down and cope at the same time."

Surely it wasn't such a good thing for (Y/n) to have to remind herself to call Evan and tell him she was okay and check in with him like she was a convict who needed monitoring. And if Evan was getting stressed and making her check in with him, that was going to backfire and make (Y/n) panic too.

Stress was one of the things they needed to avoid. (Y/n) was thirty-two weeks pregnant, she had to reach thirty-five weeks for the baby to have a better chance rather than being premature. And thirty-seven weeks was the main marker where there would be less complications and the baby wouldn't be classed as early. They weren't likely to reach that target at this rate.

Evan took a large gulp of coffee that burned the back of his throat and tasted sour on his tongue. He didn't like where Hen was going with this.

He needed (Y/n) to check in with him because she didn't tell him when she wasn't well so he had to have that confirmation so he knew not to panic and that he didn't have to think about taking her to the doctors again. He had to keep an eye on her because she seemed to overdo things without thinking and he didn't want her making herself ill.

"You might want to just calm down a little Buck, that's all I'm saying. No one wants (Y/n) going into labour yet, and fussing and worrying about her this much might stress (Y/n) out too."

Evan nodded and kept the smile plastered on his face to hide the discontent dwelling within him.

If he 'calmed down' then what would happen if he was at work and (Y/n) wasn't well? If he didn't get her to check in with him and she collapsed or she wasn't well and couldn't contact him, what would he do?

If Evan didn't tell her to take it easy and she started having cramps again or she went into early labour, he would feel partly to blame. He had to keep an eye on her and make sure she didn't overdo it so she and the baby were okay.

It was Evan's job to look after them, and he wouldn't have anyone tell him to stop. No matter their good intentions.

[cobaltperun]

Eternal Flame (5) - Be Yourself

Cover by: @ortegalvr

Jenna Ortega x Female Reader

Summary: For her it’s a passion, for you it’s an accident. And as she continues shining brighter and brighter with each role you are left mesmerized, drawn to her flame and cherishing every time she lets herself be vulnerable with you.

Masterlist / First Part / Previous part

Word count: 6.5k

-Don't lose any sleep tonight I'm sure everything will end up alright-

The feeling of your lips against her own still lingered long after you finished shooting the scene together. It was a strangely welcome feeling; light and gentle, and most importantly it just felt right. When she kissed you, as spontaneously as it was, it felt like what she was feeling wasn't one-sided, but rather something you reciprocated. She wasn’t ready for a relationship, that’s what she’s been telling herself for some time now, while she watched her former classmates getting into their relationships and going on dates and posting about them on social media. She wasn’t ready to be vulnerable and she had a career to focus on.

But how much more vulnerable could she get? After going through an actual panic attack and calming down with you by her side? She couldn’t deny how much better she felt with you there, by her side. How often have her thoughts wandered off to you over the past couple of weeks? She dared to say almost concerningly many times.

Jenna wasn't a stranger to building connections on set, just on Scream she could tell she built friendships with Melissa, Jasmin, Mason, Mikey and many others, connections that would last long after the filming ends, regardless of potentially working together in the future. Yet there was something different with the way she was around you. With you she could be free. The panic attack proved it, and while that was something she wished had never happened, looking back and thinking about it she knew that night changed your relationship permanently. You didn’t change how you viewed her, you didn’t start treating her like she was broken, or like you needed to be careful around her, you just cared for her. She could trust you with her deepest insecurities and feel safe to share them with you.

She stole a glance toward you as you walked down the hall of the hotel you were in. As usual you were calm, confident, completely relaxed and she would be lying if she said that kind of demeanor didn't affect her as well. That same calming effect you had on her during her panic attack now affected her on a regular basis, quieting her own doubts and anxious thoughts when she was with you.

“So, that was one hell of an improvisation huh?” you broke the silence with a teasing grin on your face, but she could tell you didn't mind the kiss. Well, she wasn't exactly sure you enjoyed it, after all, it was more of a peck rather than a kiss, but she well sure you didn't mind it. And now her thoughts were going off the rails once more, and she had to make a conscious effort to stop looking at your lips.

So, to regain control and quiet her mind she teased right back. “Figured I should show them that I'm comfortable around you,” Jenna answered, nudging your lightly. For a moment she hesitated, but finding confidence in how comfortable she was around you she added: “And besides, we were supposed to kiss in the movie so there was that as well.”

You laughed, and it brought a big smile to Jenna’s face as well. She absolutely was doomed, but she loved your laugh. “Yeah, yeah, we’re sure keeping it professional. Absolutely nothing else,” oh, you were teasing her, you were absolutely teasing her, and despite how close to home it hit you were in fact joking. She could see mischief in your eyes. “You would never want to kiss me if it wasn't for the movie,” and maybe she was imagining it, projecting some of her own insecurities, but she felt self-deprecation in your tone, and she despised it.

If only you knew or rather, she figured she was lucky you didn't know. At least in some ways. As much as she hated that hint of self-deprecation, she just now noticed; she figured it would be better for both of you, in more ways than one, to keep your relationship the way it was at the moment. To stay as just friends; really, really good friends that may have crossed that line a time or two, by falling asleep together. She just wasn't sure taking the next step and acting on her feelings would turn out to be a good idea when both of you were trying to focus on your careers.

Truthfully, she was just afraid to be completely exposed to you, to let you see all of her sides, the good, the bad, her insecurities, everything she was trying to hide from others. The panic attack was one thing, and being emotionally vulnerable was almost too easy with you. But the other ways? Could she let you in on all of that?

“Of course, of course I would never,” she accepted the joke, playing off of it as two of you stopped in front of her doors. “Do you want to watch another movie?” she asked tentatively, not really wanting the night to end but just shook her head.

“Maybe some other night,” she could see a hint of regret in your eyes or perhaps she was just believing she saw it. “I made plans to catch up with my friend, and knowing her it’ll last for a while,” you grinned sheepishly, explaining why you couldn't spend the night with her and easing any worries she might have formed in her head over the late hours of the night.

“Oh, I see, say hi to her for me,” Jenna told you and pulled you into a quick hug. “Sleep well, Y/N,” she whispered.

“You too,” you whispered back and you parted ways for the night.

~X~

To be honest, you were dreading the call you were about to make. It's been two weeks since you last talked to Barbara and saying she was a bit of a needy friend would be an understatement, not that you had it in you to be bothered by it, in fact you were certain a huge reason for that neediness was the way you sometimes could get. Scratch that, the way you often got these past few years. This time though, in your defense, you really were quite busy between filming and everything happening with Jenna, so this time it wasn’t your regular stupor preventing you from fulfilling your best friend duties as Barbara called them.

You took a deep breath, sucked it up, and called her as you paced around the room hoping you would not hear her yelling at you right away.

You were hoping for too much.

“Where the hell have you been?!” Barbara roared, forcing you to move the phone away from your ear and wince because of how loud she was.

“I'm sorry I was just-“ you tried to apologize and get her to stop trying to make you lose your hearing.

She wasn’t having any of it though. “No excuses! Do you know how much I worry about you, asshole?! I damn near called Hugh and I know you've been in touch with him at least through texts!” Well, she wasn't wrong, you really were in touch with Hugh, through texts, which was also the way you kept in touch with Barbara. You just didn't find the time to call her and for Barbara that was an unusual deprivation of contact and close to unforgivable.

“Barb, come on, we’ll make up for the lost time, I promise. Just two more weeks and we'll meet up and catch up and you'll tell me all the things I missed,” you assured her. You would normally get annoyed over someone being like this, almost demanding. You appreciated being left alone when you needed it, and Barbara just wouldn’t let you be on your own. Still, you really couldn't be annoyed with her. If there was anyone other than Hugh that actually knew you, it was Barbara and as much as you depended on her she depended on you just as much and now suddenly you couldn't be there for her for almost a month and a half.

And you still had two weeks until you would meet up.

“I know. I just miss being able to go to see you,” she complained, her voice turning more whiny and you knew exactly what was coming, and it brought a smile to your face. “I want to bother you and steal all your food,” she sighed as she calmed down and you could picture her just drawing lines on some paper she had lying around. That was the thing with Barbara she had short fuse but she would also calm down ridiculously fast as long as the reason behind her anger wasn't justified she was easy to talk down, especially when it came to you and even more so after what happened a few years ago.

“You'll get to raid my fridge, again,” you put great emphasis on the word ‘again’ “Don't worry about it,” you sounded annoyed but you both knew that wasn't the case. As much as you loved filming again and as much as you acknowledged the deep, precious bond with Jenna you still missed your best friend, and nothing could change that.

Barbara laughed at that. “So how are things on the set? Tell me all about it, are there any girls I should know about?” she really couldn’t help herself. Well, at least things probably couldn’t get worse. “How are things with Jenna?” you really should know better by now. There it was, the Barbara special… The teasing! The incessant need to know everything about your love life! The love life that was, granted, pretty much nonexistent before this and it was still nonexistent because there was nothing but your crush on Jenna going between the two of you.

You could still tell you made a mistake when you naively shared with Barbara that you have grown fairly fond of your co-star. Still, you sighed, there was no going back now. “I’m in trouble, Barb, I’m in deep trouble,” you sighed, accepting that you had no control over your feelings for Jenna. After all, the taste of her lips would definitely keep reminding you of the short, but sweet, kiss you shared on set for a long time, and you’d be remembering the feel of her soft lips against your own for even longer.

“Hell yeah! Get the girl Y/N!” Barbara cheered way too loudly and you just knew she was pumping her fist up in the air.

The nerve of her. “Fucking shut up,” you groaned, dropping onto your bed and resigning yourself to more teasing as Barbara laughed.

~X~

Tomorrow morning and exactly two weeks before the filming was scheduled to end you came back from breakfast to see your phone lighting up on the bedside table. So, that’s where you forgot it. You raised an eyebrow, not expecting anyone to text you this early. As far as you knew, Barbara would still be asleep, and Hugh was a few hours behind you, so it was still in the middle of the night for him. And it probably wasn't any one of your co-stars because you just saw all of them. You walked over to the bedside table and glanced at your phone and your blood immediately froze.

“I've got an event next week. I can pick you up next Saturday and bring you back to the set on Monday morning.”

You could feel your heart pounding in your chest as you looked at the message. The event, well that was one way to put it. You could feel the itching to go, the desire to just let go, to forget everything and focus on just one simple task. You've been working out for years and you didn’t stop back when filming started, you spent damn near every day at the gym for at least an hour oftentimes more. You explained it by saying you were just trying to stay in shape, especially since you still had the job at the gym to come back to and it would be irresponsible to get out of shape.

But you knew the truth.

It wasn't staying in shape. It was just the only way you knew how to escape from what you still felt deep down. So, your reply was quick, sent without much thinking, without reconsidering the short or long-term consequences of those actions, and you especially didn’t consider how something like that could affect the movie or your career. Short-term consequences were easy to deal with. Those were your days off anyway, so nothing would happen. “I'm in,” you answered and tossed the phone to your bed ready to just go to the gym. You needed to put extra effort into preparing for… the event.

~X~

Somehow there was a feeling of dread Jenna couldn't explain, a restless feeling keeping her awake and filling her with anxiety. She had a long night doing the shooting, you all did and she intended to go to sleep to spend the evening taking a nap and resting, especially seeing as her insomnia was getting worse. You helped, of course, at least as much as Jenna would let you. Every time she turned to you for help she slept better because you would either come to her room and stay with her until she fell asleep or you would just talk on the phone and she got into a comfortable with the way things were between you. Deep down she knew it couldn’t be maintained, that she couldn't rely on you every night. You needed rest as well and she felt guilty for making her insomnia your problem.

Tonight was different. Tonight it wasn't just her insomnia keeping her awake. Tonight there was that sense of dread, that sense that if she didn't do something, anything, that something awful would happen and she didn't even know what it was. She didn't know what to do, or what it was related to, she knew nothing other than the fact that something did not feel right.

So, Jenna turned in her bed, desperately trying to keep her eyes closed so she might fall asleep. It was just her being paranoid, she was sure of it. She was just overthinking things that she honestly couldn't even define. If you or Melissa asked her what was wrong she wouldn't have an answer, she would just tell you that she had a bad feeling, and it infuriated her that she was feeling like this without having a logical explanation for it.

“Fuck it!” at this rate she wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon and it was still half past seven so she figured she could drop by your room and see if you wanted to watch a movie or something. She got up, determined to get her mind off whatever was tormenting her and picked out a rather cute red shirt and denim shorts and changed out of her pajamas. Maybe she could get you to wear your glasses for the movie, that would make the restless day better, because you, annoyingly if she could say so, still didn’t wear your glasses around her as often as she would like you to.

She didn't even send you a message as a warning, she just got out of her room and marched to your door and knocked on your doors. “One minute,” she heard you saying from behind the doors and she felt her heart beating just a bit faster, which was ridiculous because just seeing you wasn't supposed to have this kind of an effect on her. Yet here she was probably ready to just admit this was not just a crush and that she was actually in love. You opened the door and seemed to freeze when you saw her which was an unusual reaction coming from you. What was even stranger was how you looked, wearing a hoodie and worn out boots and tracksuit pants, as if you were trying to disappear in the crowd. “Jen,” you looked like a deer caught in the headlights and there was a guilty look in your eyes. That same dread that consumed Jenna entirely the whole day came back full force and she couldn't explain why.

“Hey, I was thinking if you wanted to hang out, maybe watch a movie or chill out together? Just the two of us? I mean it's fine if you don't have the time or have other plans-“ and she just noticed a backpack hanging from your shoulder, and that dread just increased for a reason she couldn’t even start to explain. Just seeing that backpack made her anxiety spike up. “Did- where are you- I mean are you going anywhere?” she stammered, now feeling unsure of herself. “You didn't mention going to see your family,” she missed the way you frowned just for a moment. “Or anyone and what's with the bag?” She was rambling not really giving you a moment to reply and worst of all the guilt on your face just became more pronounced the more she talked.

“I-“ you began but then just closed your mouth and ran your fingers through your hair. What did she just interrupt? Were you about to leave?

No, that much was obvious.

But there was something heavy in the air, something that made her worry more than she should, something deep down telling her not to back down.

“Hey, talk to me,” she reached up, almost timidly, and touched your cheek, watching as you swallowed the lump in your throat. You didn’t reject her touch, and she felt bolder, instead of just touching your cheek she began cradling it. This time she felt you flinching before you accepted her touch, leaning into it, she watched you as you took a deep breath. Your eyes were closed from the moment she touched your cheek, but even with that she could see, or feel, the battle raging within you as you struggled between staying with her and going wherever you were about to go. So, she did her best to make the decision easier for you. “Stay with me. Please, Y/N,” and as if those words were enough, as if they were all you needed to hear, you reached up and took hold of her hand and pulled her in, hugging her firmly almost desperately holding onto her shirt.

“I'm staying,” you whispered, burying your face in the crook of her neck and Jenna found herself holding on to you just as firmly as you were holding on to her. That dread she felt earlier slowly began dissipating and she didn't know what she prevented, but she just felt like it was the best decision she could have made. Especially when you definitely flinched when you heard your phone ringing. For a moment she thought you would ignore it, but you let out an exhausted, broken sigh, damn near shattering her heart. “Yeah, I need to take this. Just give me a moment,” she could feel you putting so much effort just to pull away from her and then even more effort to close the door

Despite the closed doors Jenna could still hear the bits of the conversation as she stood there, her back pressed against the wall next to your doors. The murmurs of ‘I'm not coming’ and ‘I'm not arguing with you about this, I'm not coming’ made her instinctively hug herself. She felt cold all of a sudden, where were you about to go? What did she stop you from doing?

It would take months for her to figure it out and when she did it threatened to almost ruin what you built up until that point.

You came out of the room, in different clothes, now wearing a simple shirt and pajama pants and she immediately took your hand and pulled you along to her room, afraid that if she didn’t, she would just ask you where you were about to go. She looked back and saw you smiling. The smile on your face was natural not forced at all, but she could see pain hidden deep inside you and her heart broke because she could already tell you wouldn’t talk to her about this.

~X~

The early November cold seeped into her room but that wasn't the reason why about halfway through ‘The Silence of the Lambs’ she ended up wrapping her arms around you and lowering her head on your chest. That feeling of dread may have disappeared, but another feeling took its place and the only thought running through Jenna’s mind was ‘Don't let go. No matter what, don't let go.’ So, she didn't let go, even when you're raised an eyebrow at the sudden display of affection.

You've both seen the movie before, so she didn't feel any guilt for taking your attention away from it. “Y/N,” she said your name gently, aware that she now had your undivided attention. “Where were you going to go?” she asked, softly whispering the words as if saying them any louder would scare you away and convince you not to tell her anything.

You remained silent, the image of an open honest person that captured her heart wavered for a moment and then you looked away. “Just for a walk, don't worry about it,” it was so obviously a lie, and she could see you meant for her to see through it. Nonetheless the message was clear. Don’t ask more questions. You would not answer. You would not tell her the truth even if it would chase away her worries, even if it would show her you were willing to tell her anything. You just wanted to end the conversation and the obvious lie was an easy way to show Jenna it didn’t matter how many times she asked.

“OK,” she let the conversation end, but she doesn't let go of you, she just held tighter. And despite the uneasiness of the realization she just had, she still felt comfortable. It still felt so easy to be with you, and near the end of the movie she fell asleep in your arms.

Jenna didn’t wake up until you moved underneath her and when she opened her eyes, she saw the Sun was just starting to rise. “Hey, sorry I woke you up, I should go before someone catches me here,” you said and there it was, that gentle tone of your voice, that comforting attitude you had and she just now realized it was missing all night long yesterday but somehow throughout the night you got it back.

That was a relief. “Sorry, that probably wasn't the most comfortable position to sleep in,” Jenna laughed and you grinned, just shrugging as if to tell her you were perfectly fine with a bit of discomfort. Slowly, a bit too hesitantly, she let you go and moved to lie down on her bed properly and not halfway on top of you. You sat up and stretched a bit and she watched you, tense, but more relaxed than you were while you were watching the movie last night. And you looked like you rested enough, like you slept well. By now Jenna knew exactly how you looked when you didn’t get enough sleep and it wasn’t this. It was close, you clearly had a lot on your mind last night, but you slept well, and it made her happy to know that.

All of a sudden you turned and looked at her and she could see the mix of emotions in your eyes, but before she could speak you leaned over her and caressed her cheek. Jenna’s breath hitched as she looked you in the eyes. “Y/N,” she whispered your name.

“Sorry about last night. About lying, about not telling you where I was supposed to go,” you paused, your jaw clenching as you picked words, and she gave you a moment. “I still won't tell you, it doesn't matter anyway. But thank you for stopping me,” you leaned closer and for a moment she thought you’d kiss her, and she leaned forward, only to feel just your forehead pressing against hers. Jenna swallowed the lump in her throat, her shaky breath mingling with your own. “Thank you for holding on to me,” there was so much in that line she couldn't understand, she simply didn't have all the pieces of the puzzle. Yet the raw emotion in your voice told her absolutely everything she needed to know. And right then and there she just made a decision that no matter how difficult it could possibly get that she would find a way to overcome whatever was going on with you.

She almost said she was just returning the favor, almost alluding to the night you spent with her after her panic attack. Yet again instinctual stopped her, something similar to what drove her to you last night and instead she just said: “I'll hold on to you anytime you need,” it was a ridiculous promise one that could not be maintained, and you both knew it. First of all you lived in different states, not to mention all the jobs both of you would take that would take you to the entirely different corners of the world. She could not hold you anytime you wanted or needed it. Even so the deeper promise remained, a promise that she was with you and that she planned on staying with you.

Your breath hitched but you recovered a lot quicker than Jenna did. You nodded, unable to properly put into words how much her promise meant to you, but she could tell. You reluctantly pulled away, leaving her in her room as you slipped back into your own, just to avoid anyone from the cast knowing you spent the night with Jenna in her bed.

~X~

The filming was coming to a close, just a few days were left now, almost two months you spent in North Carolina were something else. You came into this project trying to get back into acting after Logan. You began working on it feeling the pressure of Logan almost weighing you down. Yet now you were grappling with entirely different feelings. You ended up coming to the rooftop to watch the sunset on the last Monday of the filming, just soaking it all in. To think if things were just a bit different, if you left a few minutes earlier now you’d be coming back to the hotel this morning instead of waking up in your room to open Instagram messages between you and Jenna.

Jenna…

She stopped you. She was the first person to actually stop you.

“Hey there stranger,” you heard Mikey saying as she walked up to you, breaking you out of your thoughts and for a moment taking your mind off just what Jenna stopping you as easily as she did meant for you.

You pushed the thoughts further away, not wanting to be vulnerable around another person, no matter how cool Mikey was. You grinned, patting the spot next to you. “Stranger? Already?” you laughed and leaned back as she sat down on the still warm concrete rooftop.

She rolled her eyes. “Can’t say you made a strong impression,” she teased you, though you spent several weekends cooking together. Funny how your characters hated one another yet the two of you kind of clicked.

You smirked at that. “Well, not all of us can crash a bicycle,” you joked now, but the entire cast was worried when her and Jasmin crashed. Mikey took the fall harder, as her knee still ached occasionally, but she was fine.

She jokingly slapped your shoulder. “Jerk,” she looked back when the doors opened. “Hey, Jenna!”

“Oh, hey,” Jenna sounded genuinely surprised as she slowly approached you and Mikey. The headphones hung around her neck and if she was weak to seeing you wearing glasses the same could be said for you regarding her wearing headphones around her neck. There was just something about seeing her like that, and you were utterly incapable of keeping your heart from beating faster.

“Really, I’m the stranger?” you said to Mikey, causing her to snicker, but your eyes were on Jenna, and like many times before you found it hard to look away. The soft colors of the sunset made her look even more beautiful, if that was even possible.

“Did you hear anything I said?” Mikey elbowed your side, not even trying to be subtle about it.

“You’ll live, stranger,” you rolled your eyes and reached out to Jenna. “Want to join us?” you offered, hopeful, and wanting, no needing, to use the time you had left working together as well as you could.

Jenna looked at you almost a bit hesitant to accept, but eventually she focused on your outstretched hand and she grinned a bit. “What the hell,” she sat down right next to you and leaned against your side, pretty much pulling your arm around her. Your heart hammered in your chest, sure, you figured you both just got so used to being physically close between the scenes you had together and the every other time you spent close, but it still felt so damn good to be this close to her. You grinned when your eyes met. “It's a bit cold,” Jenna said she with a small and adorable blush on her face.

“Sure, that's all it is,” Mikey laughed clearly teasing Jenna. “But it is getting cold. Y/N, how about you just bring us some hot chocolate?” this time her attention turned to you and you just stared blankly. Was she really going to make you get up? Right now? When Jenna just got here?

“Seriously now? I just got comfortable, go get it yourself if you're so eager to drink it,” you rolled your eyes suddenly reminded of Barbara especially when Mikey gave you those puppy eyes that honestly looked the best on Jenna.

Fuck. You really were in trouble. And you had no right to be in it after what happened on Saturday night.

“Come on! I wanna talk to your girl!” Mikey pointed at Jenna.

“Not my girl/Not her girl!” you and Jenna denied at the same time and you hated how hot your face felt. It only got worse when Mikey smirked at the two of you.

“Really? So prove it, go bring us some hot chocolate,” you really couldn't get out of that could you? You huffed and reluctantly pulled away from Jenna. How was bringing hot chocolate going to prove anything?

Dumb excuses…

“Fine, fine, I'm going to get some hot chocolate, just stop teasing,” you grumbled and stood up. Did you and Jenna really look like there was something going on between you? You were just really good friends! Sure, you had feelings for her but nothing happened between you!

~X~

Jenna felt a bit squirmish, after all Mikey was rather perceptive and she could tell the slightly older girl was catching on to Jenna’s feelings. “There really isn't anything going on between me and Y/N,” perhaps the pout on her face was giving it away or perhaps she really was that obvious when it came to her feelings for you.

To her surprise Mikey shrugged as if she wasn’t shocked by Jenna’s denial. “Oh, I know. You wouldn't look so jealous if  the two of you were together.”

Jenna turn around so quickly she actually got a bit dizzy “I'm not-“ she quickly tried to deny it.

“Hush! I've seen how you looked at that barista flirting with Y/N, or at me just now because I was alone with her in such romantic circumstances,” yet Mikey didn’t sound even slightly offended as she showed around at the sunset and the rooftop and yeah, maybe it did seem a bit more romantic than Jenna would dare to admit. “Also, you missed how she looked at you. You're both so whipped it's almost sickeningly sweet. She looks at you like you are the center of the universe,” there were no intentions behind those words, Mikey didn’t look at you that way, she was simply saying what she noticed. Mikey was ridiculously cool and Jenna couldn't help but admire her admired bold and strong approach Mikey took to everything she was doing, but she didn’t appreciate that same approach being taken regarding her own feelings towards you.

Besides she thought she would have this conversation with Melissa if she really had to have it with anyone on the cast. “She doesn't look at me like that,” Jenna denied it as she looked down between her feet remembering how you lied to her two nights ago. You apologized, sure, but the lie remained and you never told her where you were really about to go. It really wasn’t her business or right to demand to know, but there was a part of her that believed all the moments you shared gave her the right to ask and know the answer. Would you really be looking at her the way Mikey described if you couldn't even open up to her?

“Yeah, so how come she spent so many nights with you,” Mikey asked so casually and Jenna felt like her heart was about to explode with how fast it was beating.

“What?” she managed to ask, her words barely louder than a whisper as her brain went into overdrive.

“I heard you laughing, mostly. I know there is nothing going on, but I also know you spend nights together. The walls are ridiculously thin, I'm sure Melissa knows too but I also think she knew beforehand as well,” this was Jenna’s worst nightmare. She spent weeks thinking the two of you were keeping your late night meetings a secret yet here she was, learning they weren’t so secret after all.

How did she never hear Amber or Melissa?

Oh, right. The answer was around her neck…

There were so many implications in what Mikey said Jenna felt like her overthinking mind couldn’t keep up with all of them. The walls were thin so it confirmed to Mikey and quite possibly Melissa that you have spent a lot of time with Jenna in her room. And the thin walls confirmed to Mikey, and possibly Melissa as well, that you and Jenna did not actually get together, at least in a more intimate way. Jenna couldn't remember the last time she got this red and embarrassed and desperate for the ground to swallow her whole. She never felt this exposed in her entire life.

“Sorry,” well what else was she supposed to say besides just apologize for keeping Mikey awake,

“No, it's OK. You never kept me awake, you weren't that loud. Don’t worry, I’ll keep it a secret and let you confess instead of spilling the beans to your, sorry Tara’s, guard dog,” Mikey was having too much fun with this if that shit eating grin was anything to go by.

Jenna just groaned, hoping you wouldn’t com back right away, because she wasn’t sure how she could look you in the eyes after this.

~X~

This was it. One last scene, the scene that was moved back quite a bit, actually, and the movie would be done, well, at least your part of the job.

Originally you were supposed to film this scene while Emma was still here, but when you were getting ready to film it the equipment failed somehow. You couldn't really remember what it was. Either the lighting wasn't good, or something was wrong with the camera, or something else entirely, and it was late so you just moved it to another day. And that another day just kept being pushed back and back and now here you are on the final day of the shooting Scream filming the scene where Gale calls your character to ask her why they were all coming back to Woodsboro.

“OK everyone let's wrap this movie up!” Tyler instructed as you and Jenna got in your positions, which was in the bed with Jenna acting like she was asleep on top of you with both of you embracing one another as much as the supposed wounds your characters took could allow.

And then it happened again. The scene was probably cursed or something.

“Sir,” one of men on the filming crew approached Tyler almost timidly. “The mic isn't working, I just sent Rick to get another one,” you all heard it loud and clear and the silence that engulfed the room was so loud, so consuming and ridiculous you almost laughed. There were only a handful of times in your life where the phrase ‘so quiet you could hear the pin drop’ could fit to the situation as good as it did right now. And neither you or Jenna dared to say a single word. In fact Jenna just didn't move at all and you figured you should probably follow her example so you didn't move either just closed your eyes trying to ignore the absolutes ridiculousness of this situation

At least Matt and Tyler weren't mad about it as they just began laughing about the absurdity of everything that was happening.

The room lit up and you saw people walking around keeping the set ready for the continuation but it didn't matter you barely paid attention to them. The only thing you paid attention to the was the girl in your arms.

You looked at Jenna, sleeping there, you looked at her peaceful face, at the freckles covering her cheeks, her hair, her lips, you felt the subtle squeeze of her arms around your waist and listened to the soft sound of her breathing. Her grip on you was soft and barely there but in a way unyielding and you were reminded of that night one week ago when she kept you from going to- from leaving the hotel.

You resisted the urge touch her cheek, to hold her closer, to tell her how you felt because deep down you were afraid. You had to stop going to those events. What a laughable way to call underground fighting. Unless you properly stopped you had no right to tell her anything about how you felt. As it was you were a mess, and she did not deserve to deal with that. So, you promised yourself you would just keep quiet.

When the equipment was finally fixed you barely realized about half an hour had passed and you did not want to delay the filming anymore, so you gently nudged Jenna until she woke from her slumber.

“Hey, sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep, I’ve just been tired lately,” she apologized and probably by accident snuggled closer to you.

“It's OK, you didn't miss anything,” you said, ignoring how intimate this entire thing between you and Jenna felt. You needed to fix yourself before addressing that. Nearly going and participating in a fight proved it to you.

A/N: So, this was supposed to go a bit further down the timeline, Hugh was supposed to show up, there were supposed to be talks of future projects, and set up Reader meeting Jenna’s family, but you know what, I think this is a good cliffhanger. And it was still longer than 6k, so, there’s that.

Taglist: @lilbitdepressed27 @freakshow2501 @osnapitzmel1 @belatrixdragon @ijustlovemaths

@niqmandu @justspance @mirage018

Masterlist / First Part / Previous part

[maikissed]

jude bellingham x reader

warnings: none, just a tad of sexual tension, yeah

note: there is going to be part 2! I planned to write the whole story in one shot but I gotta go to sleep now and was too excited about this rubbish (jk, I love it tbh). And he scored today, whoop sorry for any mistakes!!!!

Rose got herself a new boyfriend. The name brought up in presence of your girlfriends caused much of a fuss. It was a grand revelation and as much as it surprised you as well, you did not share the enthusiasm as every other girl in the room. Not because you felt envious, jealousy was never your thing, you rather grew worrisome. The excitation over the fact that Rose secured herself a football player of such range – famous, a hot topic, high quality player, one of the most valuable characters in the England national team, highly payed, and to add to that: uncommonly gorgeous - absolutely knocked your friends of their feet, but to you… To you it was a sign of massive trouble. People like him belonged to a world where individuals had their impeccable ways to draw from their fame, money and phenomenon as much as they could, despite the morality or ethics. Rose always mingled among various groups of people, there were musicians, actors, even politicians. She was a lovely girl, very pretty, her modelling career developed quickly, spectacularly. But she still haven’t made her name the way she aimed to. You suspected the boys she chose were always an occasion, a special addition to make her reach for more, to be seen, to feel special and unique. She was determined, regardless of the consequences, regardless of the fact how many times she has suffered and burned herself even almost to the point of absolute destruction. It felt awful to even reminisce it. But that’s how it’s been so far, it was the path she has chosen. Although this time this whole situation felt much different, there was a spark in her eyes that could tell you many things. But you would define it this way: she intended to hold onto him, she wanted to keep him. He seemed like the greatest prize. But who would have thought that the massive trouble you feared from the very start would be your burden to deal with?

Jude Bellingham.

Girls were over the moon when the time has come and Rose invited you all to join them in a private lounge in one of the most exclusive clubs in London. You scoffed when you heard the name of the place, you remembered the time when you and Lucia tried to sneak in there, but the bodyguard was too smart to fall for your theatrics. Only precisely selected people could party there. It was one of those grand and fancy places. So you found yourself invited, at last. Yet you weren’t very thrilled about the way you were about to spend your Saturday night. It turned out you would be the only single person there.

And him? The man, the hot topic himself? He was taller than you envisioned, maybe the hair added to that? His smile truly was bright, he was well built, broad shoulders, but not too muscular, well, he was an athlete. The Brummie dialect annoyed you at the start, but the itch seemed to cease as you payed attention to the tone of his voice, there was nothing particular about it, it was just right, good, not screechy, not too deep just… pleasant. He was an amiable guy, you thought to yourself, polite and friendly at the first contact. You realised you were a careful observer until he turned to you to greet. Now you were very much noticed, now you had to act as a part of the events, not a shadow and analyser. And situation very much changed. Time seemed to slow down so suddenly, you found yourself in the strangest state of unconsciousness, like a scene in a movie where the background blurs and any noise is muted, when the spectator is deprived of any other senses despite the sight to notice those specific details that are supposed to made him feel the sublimity of a given moment. And the source of it was in his eyes, you realised, and the way he smiled softly as he extended his hand to you. It was strange and disturbing, his eyes seemed to be the darkest ones you’ve ever seen, but you most definitely had seen eyes like his before, no doubt about it. You took a breath, blinked, fought to not fall into this depth that almost sucked you in. He was smiling, now something slightly impudent about it, and you realised he truly was stunningly gorgeous. Strangely, insanely attractive. Just a simple look into his eyes made you stumble into a realisation that there was something different about this man. And it frightened you.

You did say your name back, did you?

As the night went by you decided to stay in your attentive observer state. You felt safer there, although decency inquired you to engage in few conversations with your friends. Tonight you felt tense, carefully sipping the wine, you tried with all your might to relax and stop examining so intensely the boy seated opposite you. Few new conclusions you came into in the last hour was the fact that he was a great interlocutor, he listened as well, and his smile was one of the most pleasurable things you’ve experienced in your lifetime. You just couldn’t take your eyes off. And another conclusion was that him and Rose was nothing of exclusive. No lingering stares, no secret touches. After all, they met quite recently. She wondered if she bagged him already. And if so, would they all be there if she did? He did not seem like the kind to make such effort to get himself a girl he was not seriously interested in. Rose was not the type to act restrained and unavailable. She crawled into many beds the first night she met someone. You kept yourself far from casual hook-ups and one night stands, just a simple thought of it made you uncomfortable. But for her it was a common thing, if you could use such words. So, was he really interested?

After a while all of your friends decided to use the night to the fullest as the alcohol finally kicked in, rushing to the dancefloor and you truly couldn’t find the spur to join them. You were seriously thinking about taking a French leave. And you almost succeeded.

“You’re not enjoying yourself much, are you?” a well known voice reached you from behind and you turned your head in its direction.

Something in your gut jumped as you spotted Jude. He took a seat beside you. You smiled as his scent reached you, fresh, citrus with addition of something stronger and… alluring.

“I’ve had a long day. Tired, I guess” a safe and simple answer.

His full attention was on you, no one here to accompany you. It begun to feel overwhelming because you did not expected his gaze to be so intense.

“I know the feeling. Find myself in a constant state of weariness lately, cannot get rid of it” he played with his glass, the liquid looked like orange juice.

“Well, you live quite the fast and exciting life” you noted, observing as the corner of his mouth rose a little at your comment.

“Where are you from?” he asked, not continuing the subject you just raised.

“Here, London, born and raised” you smiled again before lowering your gaze, finding the glass of wine interesting “Became as gloomy and morose as this city”

“I wouldn’t describe you with such words” his voice was soft when he said it, something itched in you to ask what words would he use to describe you, but raising the glass of wine up to your lips saved you from that. You hoped you didn’t blush.

“My grandmother always says that I’m an old soul. Emphasizes it like it’s a virtue” you continued.

“That’s a very interesting thing to say about someone. Mine says that I’m a lovely companion although I use way too foul language and it’s scandalous” he frowned funnily and you laughed at the information, he quickly accompanied you.

“Well, I haven’t yet got the occasion to hear some of that tonight”

“I’m trying to be a gentleman” he murmured “It would be improper to throw fucks around in presence of a pretty girl” a lively glint in his eyes as he looked at you.

Now you definitely blushed.

The conversation flowed from there, and you realised you grew more comfortable with each passing minute. He truly was a great listener, and a good companion. He made you laugh many times and suddenly you stopped regretting leaving your apartment for this night out. He was not daft or arrogant as you might have presumed before you met him, being smothered by all this money he had and a name he’s gotten himself at such young age. The complexity of his persona could be spotted in his eyes as you payed closer attention, but it was his words and the way he picked on any subject you brought, that expressed his maturity and wide perception. You haven’t met a guy like him in a long time.

“What are you guys doing here? Come on down, join us!” it was Charlotte’s comment as she came to the longue after a while.

You haven’t even realised how much time has passed and how much alcohol you have already poured into yourself. You only picked on that as you stood up, dizziness hit you like lighting but you composed yourself, agreeing on Charlotte’s and then Jude’s proposition. As soon as you joined the dancefloor, Rose spotted you both, throwing her hands around Jude, guiding him deeper, keeping him closer. He kept his eyes on you as she did it and a strange feeling stroked you as you kept his gaze. Charlotte grabbed you by your hands, singing the words out loud, the song was energetic and lively, you laughed at your friend. Others from your pack nowhere to be seen. So you loosened up and tried to keep up with your drunk companion. The dancefloor became quite chaotic, people jumping around, your eyes landing on Jude from time to time and to your surprise he was looking your way as well. There was a lean and tall guy that jumped in front of Jude, almost stumbling over him and you laugh at that, seeing that Jude laughed as well, his attention still on you. You wanted to share this fun with him directly, but it was forbidden since the realest fact of this night was that he was not yours to have.

“I need to pee!” Rose shouted near you and you turned, watching as she grabbed Charlotte with her, leaving the dancefloor.

You stopped and decided to follow your friends but felt someone’s presence behind your back before you made any move.

“Now I can tell you’re enjoying your night!” Jude called next to your ear, this way you could hear him well despite the thumping music.

When you turned around you noticed how close he stood, you had to raise your head to look at his face, his big and dark eyes gazing down at you, full lips twisted into an amused smile. You returned the smile.

“You are a terrible dancer” you shouted back to him, your voice filled with laughter.

“That’s a fact” he nodded “But you’re quite good, show me more” he reached for your hips to draw you deeper into the dancefloor and you laughed out, throwing your head back as he lead you with him.

You have not payed much attention to the closeness of your bodies as long as the songs were quick and your movements kept rapidly changing with the rhythm. Still, you haven’t realised the sound slowing, a more sensuous song sounded from the loudspeaker, you knew this one. If the reason could break through the basses that reached your ears, you would finish your dance right this moment. But the fact was that it did not. So you continued, with your hands placed at his shoulders you begun to move your hips. Your eyes closed as you turned around, your back to him, he was not touching you, not directly. He took your hands in his and you started to raise it up in the air, you smiled when you felt his breath on your ear. Your joined hands stayed up longer, his on the other hand slowly trailed lower and lower, down your forearms, then your shoulders, then down your body. His touch sure yet lenient and soft at the same time electrified you. Carefully and attentively, making sure to not touch your breasts on the way, he rested them on your hips, feeling the rhythm you kept on. You were not sure if it was him that pressed on you or was it purely your movement, but your back met with his front fully, and a sharp intake of breath stuck in  your throat at the realisation. His hands still rested on your hips, making your body move with no pause. You were close, too close, you could already feel too much. But you found it difficult to part with him, to stop it and call it improper. Your eyes wide open but blind. You only focused on the sense of touch, feeling him moving with you. Your hands fell down to reach his head and then levelled on his nape and you kept them there. Feeling something growing inside of you, along with a rough shot of adrenaline that made your heart beat strongly against ribs. Once more his breath landed on your ear, close, closer. A strange sensation squeezed your throat and you realised you swallowed back a moan. It was like a rough strike, you turned around to face him, with intention to take a step back, but he held you closer, pressing his palm against your back. You sighed and met his eyes. Dark, darker. You wanted to run.

“Thank you for the dance” you said innocently and he watched the movement of your lips as you spoke.

A daring smirk appeared on his mouth and you shuddered. Were you trapped now?

You had to run. So you did.

[crystallizedtwilight]

🎃 LSBC Questions: Part 20! 🎃

Lock, Shock, Barrel, and Calliope questions that call for quick answers will be under the cut in batches of 10-15 🧡

Previous bulk questions batch

She wants to adopt every dog she meets honestly 🥹

If Oogie was in a gambling mood it usually wasn't a good thing.

Something equal parts dangerous and hilarious apparently! [x]

They already have their skincare routines down!

There's a couple of those in the lb tag 😚 Barrel is very romantic and Lock loves to be showered with affection as long as it's in private.

Thank you! And yes! They do prank each other on occasion. Gotta keep each other sharp! [1] [2] [3]

He did at first (and was too "cool" to tell anyone) but now he's an expert at capturing them.

Mike Cachuela, who helped design the trio, stated how he spoke with Henry Selik, the director of the movie, about who the trio could be. The initial concept was that that they were tasked with keeping Oogie Boogie imprisoned and feeding him bugs. However, this concept was later changed so the trio would be Oogie's henchmen instead.

No, all three of them love their natural hair colors! (Which, lucky, I've been dying my own hair for 10 years lol)

She gets up, makes herself some tea, and reads her potion book to clear her mind. If that's not enough, she'll go for a flight.

No. I'm aware he returns in several spinoffs—Oogie's Revenge, Kingdom Hearts II, one of the novels—but this AU uses the movie as the sole source material. Resurrecting Oogie is an easy way to reintroduce peril and doesn't require writers to explore who the trio are without him. That separation, freedom, happiness, and concept of the trio stepping into their own identities is exactly what I want to explore!

(Zero's Journey is my favorite tnbc book because the trio are shown carrying on happily without Oogie for once and I love that!)

❗️[SENSITIVE: TOPICS OF ABUSE]

The trio state that they believe they will be harmed for failure / displeasing Oogie across multiple media:

____

"We can't say, the boss'll whomp us if we do!" (whomp, verb: to strike heavily) - Lock [source: game, The Pumpkin King]

The trio tremble visibly at Oogie's feet, holding onto each other as he reveals his plans. [source: game, Kingdom Hearts I]

In an interview Stephen mentions that, out of the three of them, Oogie might be meanest towards Lock or treat him the worst. [source: Stephen Buckley, one of the main animators on the movie, The Nightmare Before Christmas]

"If I were on his Boogie list, I'd get out of town." / "We do our best to please him and stay on his good side." - Lock, Shock [source: movie, The Nightmare Before Christmas]

"Jack will beat us black and green." - Lock, Shock [source: movie, The Nightmare Before Christmas] Through Jack has never shown himself to be physically violent, the trio assume all authority figures show their displeasure in this way.

"Don't hurt us, Jack! She's with Oogie!" - Lock [source: game, The Pumpkin King]

"'Stead of treated we get tricked. 'Stead of kisses we get kicked!" [source: stage performance, 2003 Disneyland "Haunted Mansion Holiday" wherein the trio perform an excerpt of "Hard Knock Life"]

"Looks like my no-good henchmen thought they'd cool their heels in Halloween Town 'stead of helpin' the boss man do his job...well, I can decide which of 'em I want to eat later." - Oogie Boogie [source: game, Disney Magic Kingdoms]

The camera pans out, displaying the masks of several previously devoured trick-or-treaters on the treehouse walls. None of these fit the trio's faces, revealing that Oogie has eaten several children the past. [source: movie, The Nightmare Before Christmas]

[cripplecharacters]

Hello! First I want to say how much I appreciate this blog, and how cool it is that so many different people from the disability community have come together to share your perspectives on this blog!

Onto my question!

There are numerous characters existing in books, comics, tv shows and movies that have disabilities. Many of them are well known and beloved characters. But 99.9% of the time their disabilities are used as plot devices, traumatic backstory’s, and forgotten unless their disability is useful to add drama or make a slapstick joke. As a fan fiction writer who sees myself in many of these characters, I want to fix this poor and ableist representation when I write these characters. My question is, how can I do that? I want to maintain what makes these characters who they are, including their disabilities, while still keeping them true their development. I want to add that I have researched all of these disabilities in depth, and the information I’m seeking now is how to include them with proper representation.

For example Steve Rogers’ (Captain America) entire origin story is rooted in the erasure of his disabilities. He goes from being disabled and mocked and bullied because of that, to a super hero, who is strong, fast, has enhanced hearing and sight. He’s ‘magically’ cured. What we love about his character is that his newly acquired super powers don’t change his morals and beliefs. But his disabilities have still been erased.

For this character (and other characters who magically go from disabled to abled) would you recommend finding a halfway point? For example, Steve Rogers still gets tall and buff and gains super strength and stamina, but he still some of his disabilities like scoliosis, hard of hearing, or diabetes? Or keeping him how he looks before his transformation, but still having him have his super powers?

Another example (marvel again, because marvel uses disability and subsequent disability erasure as one of its main plot devices) is Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier. He is a forequarter amputee who is given a science fiction prosthetic. This prosthetic required invasive surgery and implants (all of which was non consensual). His prosthetic is very strong, stronger than his right arm (even with super soldier serum that already makes him stronger than other humans). This technology doesn’t exist in real life, and this prosthetic (and prosthetics in other media that has amputee characters) is treated like a fix all: like a new arm but even better so then the character who went through dramatic trauma for the plot doesn’t have to be disabled anymore. Here is my conundrum: the winter soldier has a prosthetic left arm that he can fight with is an important part of his character. To not write him as an amputee erases his disability completely, but to write him without his high tech prosthetic also takes away from other important parts of his character. So my question is, when writing this character (and other amputee characters with similar situations) is it best to find a halfway point? Let this character have his advanced super strong and dexterous prosthetic, but have him actually treat it like a prosthetic (for example, he takes it off, doesn’t sleep with it, and knows how to do tasks without it). Or would it be better to make the prosthetic more realistic? As strong as his other arm, he can’t use it like a battering ram, etc. Or would it be more appropriate to find different ways for characters to do what they do without advanced prosthetics?

I would love to hear specific suggestions for these characters but it would be great too if you had some broad suggestions for repairing disability erasure within any existing work of fiction. Thank you so much for all of the hard work you all put into cripplecharacters!!

Hello,

My time has come.

So Steve Rogers is a product of his time. Back when he was created, living with the disabilities he had was far harder. But nowadays we have medications and treatments his creators would've never thought possible- I mean, this was the time when smoking was the treatment for asthma- so consider incorporating those. For some of them, like what's probably rheumatic heart disease from the scarlet fever, a halfway point would probably be best (more on that in a second.) For other things, modern treatments will do just fine. If Howard Stark can create a flying car, he can create iron supplements and blood sugar monitors. Let's see what he has and how he can be accomodated;

Asthma- the serum can strengthen his lungs and lessen the severity, or you can skip that step and instead look at modern treatments for asthma, which include breathing exercises, slowly increasing exercise to improve the body's tolerance, and a lot of medications. Without knowing the type of asthma he has it's hard to know what his asthma attack plan would be, but considering he has no mentioned allergies, it's probably non-allergic persistent. This can be treated with a combination of long-term control medications, which are taken on a set schedule to help prevent asthma attacks, rescue medications that are used as-needed for asthma attacks, and possibly biologics, which are injected medications for people with severe asthma. These medications are a bit similar to immune suppressants, suppressing the body and immune responses that cause asthma attacks. He can also do breathing exercises to strengthen the lungs and slowly build up exercise tolerance. The bigger lungs due to his bigger body should also help.

Diabetes- there's a massive range of insulin pumps, blood sugar monitors, sugar tablets, and whatever else have you that makes life for diabetics. He'd also benefit from a diet plan, which will take in his level of diabetes, what his pancreas can handle, and potential problem areas to create a diet that works for him and helps him avoid hypoglycaemia and hyperglycaemia.

Astigmatism- contacts, or just some form of glasses or goggles. That's assuming his vision is bad enough to need correction at all, because some people with astigmatism can get by without. He's gotten this far without any form of corrective lense and he's not a long-range fighter, so he might not even need them. Still, they would be useful for him to have in his day-to-day life.

Rheumatic fever- this is one of the biggest problems. Rheumatic fever and scarlet fever mess the body up bad, and I'm willing to bet these are what cause his cardiac arrhythmias (irregular heartbeat.) The serum could strengthen his heart. He can also use a vast range of hypotensives (for the high blood pressure,) any number of heart medications, maybe anticoagulants to reduce risk of blood clots, a pacemaker or other implants, maybe surgery to replace damaged heart valves, and regular check-ups on the health of his heart. If all else fails, a heart transplant might be on the table.

Bone deformity- the treatment is going to depend on which bones, the severity of the deformity, and the cause. They didn't specify, so you can find what you think you'd best be able to work with and go from there. Treatments can include surgery, braces, physical therapy, and some medications that can treat the underlying cause.

Scoliosis- probably can just be left alone, maybe a little physical therapy to help him reduce pain. If you've decided he has a severe case, he can get surgery to straighten his spine. (Personally, I would love to see a character with scoliosis who has rib cage deformity.)

Nervous trouble- probably an anxiety disorder, can be treated through a combination of therapy and medication

These writers didn't live in a time where a soldier could have these disabilities, but now we do. There are treatments available for him that can help him, things the writers never could have imagined back in the thirties. He can still be a super soldier with his disabilities.

As for Bucky, take my opinion with a grain of salt because I am not an amputee. But you're right, him losing his arm and Hydra forcing a replacement on him is a huge part of his story and would be incredibly hard to change. The easiest way about it would probably be to keep it the same, he loses his arm and Hydra gives him a new one, but he gets rid of the arm once he's free.

The arm has failsafes in place to protect his handlers and he has no idea what kind of risks it holds, like if it has a tracking device that could lead them right to him. It's a liability and could put him in danger. He also didn't want the arm in the first place and, based on the scratch-mark scars where the metal meets his shoulder, he has tried to remove it before. Plus, if something goes wrong, he can't fix it. That arm is centuries ahead of modern technology, created by Hydra top scientists, it's a titanium alloy, he has no idea how it works or anything about how it was made, the tools required to fix it are probably hundreds, thousands, even hundreds of thousands of dollars (or tools that only exist because one Hydra guy created them, meaning Bucky can't get them and probably can't recreate them-) look, he has a high school education from a century ago. There's no way he's going to be able to fix or even maintain such an advanced piece of technology. Even if he did somehow know how to do it, he doesn't have the funds to do it. Sooner or later, the arm is going to be a problem. So he would probably get rid of it. Tony Stark would jump at the chance to help him remove it, he would love to get to stick it to Hydra.

Getting rid of the arm can also be a freedom thing. It marks him as the Winter Soldier, it's a symbol of Hydra's control of him. By getting rid of it, he's one step closer to being free of their hold on him. He doesn't need the arm. The movies demonstrated that he's perfectly capable of getting by without it, showing him easily running his little goat farm in Wakanda without his bionic arm or even a realistic prosthetic, just using his remaining arm. (Additionally, did you see the look on his face when they gave him a new one? The exhaustion in his voice as he asked where the coming fight was? He did not want that new arm, he wanted to keep happily existing peacefully on his farm and having the arm meant he couldn't do that. He wouldn't want a new bionic.)

For Bucky, I would recommend letting him ditch the bionic as part of his quest for freedom.

In general, my main recommendation would be accessibility and medicine rather than magic cures. If you have any other specific examples because Marvel very, very rarely did disability representation right, feel free to ask if you need help improving them. It's my passion. You have no idea how excited I was seeing this in the ask box.

Mod Aaron

Hi!

Going from deaf or hard of hearing to having super hearing is a bit tricky. I'd recommend this way of doing both:

The ranges that are affected by his specific hearing loss stay hard to hear (with only very mild improvement if any).

The ranges that aren't affected get amplified, possibly even to a debilitating degree.

For many deaf/hoh people, hearing things, especially if the sound is louder than we expect, is very overwhelming. The solution above somewhat mimics the experience of wearing hearing aids, but since they are his powers they can't be removed the same way. (It would be very interesting to explore that through the lens of paralleling forced oralism...)

Mod Rock

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

thoughts on the wicked movie?

oh I am preparing for that like one would prepare for a battle lmfao. wicked has never been my favorite show, but it is extremely good, and I honestly don't know how this movie is gonna go 😭

I'm mixed on the cast- ariana is super talented, but 1) she's worryingly unhealthy and It Shows in the trailers, and 2) quite frankly I still think the role should have gone to dove cameron. cynthia's out of this world but 1) she's a bit old for the role, which is fine, but a lot of times I find adults playing teens and twenty somethings very...unbearable (sorry kimberly akimbo 😔) so I worry it could turn into a green evan hansen movie moment and 2) honestly she really did annoy me with that meltdown over the fan edited poster lmfao like I still love her but it's hard not to cringe now lol. jonathan bailey has a beautiful voice and will kill it! ethan slater I think will actually have a little breakout moment and the public opinion on him will sway. I don't mind bowen yang but I also don't understand why he's there. goldblum, yeoh, and dinklage can do no wrong. idk anything about the girl playing nessa but honestly nessa sucks so I don't mind going in blind on her lol.

I think it's dumb as hell that it's being split into two movies- I know that's the general opinion of everyone, but it still needs to be said. the only good songs in act 2 are 'as long as you're mine' and 'for good'. there's not enough to entice people who aren't already diehard fans to come back for more- and like, the first rule of adaptation is to assume the audience isn't familiar with the source material. so I PROPOSE. that the best way to drum up excitement for part 2. is making glinda and elphaba's feelings for each other explicit instead of subtext. I think jon m. chu WOULD do it, but I don't know if the studio and producers would allow it. we shall See. but that's my big prediction for the movie.

I'm also mixed on jon m chu directing because like. listen I love that he did in the heights and had like a huge delayed theater kid awakening moment I really do love that for him. and in the heights WAS a great movie- but a lot of the changes that were made really bugged me lmao. not all of them, but a lot of them. and obviously, since he's dragging it into two movies, changes will be made. theoretically they could just add a bunch of stuff from the book, but like, if they make cuts from the already solid stage story to add in completely new characters and plotlines (like they did for in the heights) I just! don't know that I'll like that sorry

plus the fact alone that they've been trying to make this movie for 20 years like. it has a HUGE shadow to outshine and I Hope it'll pull it off but I don't know that I'm confident it will?

all that being said I WILL be seated in a theater recliner seat wearing pink and green and drinking a cocktail. this is like the superbowl okay.

[flowersandbirdsflyingfree]

Mr. and Mrs. Dude Headcanons: What Went Wrong? (Angst Warning)

The Postal Dude and The Bitch were married for about 7 years, dating for literally 10 months. The Dude met the Bitch at a club around ‘95. They grew up in Scottsdale. Her real name was Shannon [REDACTED].

Dude had been disowned by his step-father and the Bitch was in a rebellious phase. Both were seeking a need for constant validation and ego stroking, which was the catalyst of the toxicity yet to come.

It started off as a coming of age type of relationship. The Bitch was the first person to ever make Postal Dude feel wanted. Like he wasn’t some loser tumbleweeding across the desert. They were pretty much inseparable since day one. They shared their first kiss in a movie theater… and then she gave head in the back row.

Bitch got tattooed Dude’s name on her right boob. Dude had his favorite photo of her in his wallet: the two of them sharing a lighter for their cigarettes.

Their banter was a love language. It also reflected the part of Bitch he felt challenged by: her attitude. He thought he could tame her fiery ways. Her anger was kinda hot. Little would the Dude know it’d come to bite him in the ass down the line.

Dude was introduced to Bitch’s family. They didn’t like him one bit, except for a younger sister who thought he was pretty cute. Because Bitch’s parents were so pushy for their daughter to get married, no one stopped her.

The wedding was a church mass followed by a really fun reception! It seemed like the future was bright. Champ even got a slice of wedding cake.

The Bitch would get into a fight with her parents that left them on low contact. The “honeymoon” was a roadtrip to a music festival Uncle Dave hooked them up with. Life was sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll, baby!

The first year was the happiest year of their marriage. Both were too blinded by their shallow infatuation for each other to see that there was zero stability and depth in their foundation. They were two young people who rushed quickly into things. Peace didn’t bring them together. It was a drug for constant adrenaline that did. Marriage was the test that failed their relationship. Everyone’s the asshole in this situation.

Dude slacked way more once they tied the knot. Reality had set in that keeping a job was very hard with a criminal record. His lack of work ethic thus killed the bedroom for good. Or was it his erectile dysfunction?

The Bitch was no better herself. Her once playful teasing changed to harsh degradation. She would eat her feelings and did next to nothing in return, despite expecting Dude to “pick up after himself.” Nothing got cleaned, cooked or cared for. She didn’t get a job either because she was already working full-time to drive this man up a wall.

On a good day, they tolerate each other like roommates. But on a bad day? Expect broken plates and public disturbance to the neighborhood.

Their song was The Way by Fastball. Dude can’t listen to it anymore without thinking of her, so he hates it now.

After the nuke hit Paradise, she managed to get their marriage annulled by the church without telling him. This explains how she was able to attempt marrying her side piece: Jewish Mad Cow Demon Mike Jaret.

Dude doesn’t handle his tougher feelings well. He could acknowledge that the woman he loved never existed, but that’s too much to swallow. All that matters is he finally has peace and quiet. Just him, his dog and the trailer. Thank God!

[marifilue]

Part 3: A Glimpse Of The Past

Pairing: Logan Howlett x F!Mutant!Reader - Slow burn, no use of y/n, you have regenerative healing ability, skilled with guns and rifles, reader in her 50s but because of her ability looked like in her mid 20s. Logan is from the first X-Men movie era.

Warnings: Explicit Language, slight PTSD Mentioned.

WC: 5,570

<- Part 2

Two weeks had passed, and nothing much had changed between you and Logan. You’d shared a handful of interactions, each one short and tense, just enough to remind you how much he got on your nerves. He was stubborn, quick-tempered, too much like you in all the wrong ways and it was infuriating.

Logan was settling into his new role, slipping into the position of history professor with a certain ease that only came from experience, a literal, first-hand experience. His lectures were magnetic, filled with anecdotes that felt too vivid, too personal. The students were enamored, hanging onto every word, captivated by the way he made history feel alive.

Still, you could feel the invisible wall he’d built around himself, his guard firmly in place. It made sense, you'd do the same in a new environment. Though it irked you at times. You still doesn't know much about him, not that he'd be interested to talk when the whole team held out a dinner occasionally and share some fun fact about his life for the past century. Everytime the table chats comes up with questions get asked, he'd quickly dismissed them. You remember one time Ororo was joking and teased Logan about his love life which he just shortly respond "Nothin much, it's boring." As far as you acknowledge, he's just old as fuck.

On a quiet Saturday morning, autumn breeze outside with the mansion still cloaked in early light, you found some refuge in the garage, preparing your gear and checking over your rifle before zipping it into your dark green bag as you planned a solo hunt. The stillness was just beginning to sink in when the faint sound of footsteps snapped you out of it. Glancing up, you saw Logan leaning casually against the doorframe, watching you with that same half-amused smirk.

“You goin’ somewhere?” he asked, his voice breaking the silence like a rock tossed into still water. You barely looked up, focusing on adjusting your scope. “Going hunting,” you replied tersely. Logan raised an eyebrow, his interest obviously piqued. “Hunting?” he repeated, amusement thick in his tone. “Out here?” Your patience was already wearing thin. “Yeah, out in the woods. It’s a quiet spot, about an hour away.”

He crossed his arms, clearly not dissuaded. “That so? Sounds like a perfect way to kill some time. I’ll come.” You stiffened, giving him a hard look. “Look, it’s a solo trip. Don’t need any company.”

A spark of defiance flickered in his eyes, and that irritating smirk just deepened. “Didn’t ask if you needed it. Just saying I’m bored. Got nothing better to do, so I’ll come along. Unless you’re afraid I’ll out-hunt you.” You clenched your jaw, the challenge hanging between you like a dare. He had no idea what he was getting into, but if dragging him along was the only way to shut him up, fine. You rolled your eyes. “Fine, whatever. But you’re bringing your own bike.”

A slight chuckle escaped him as he pushed himself off the doorframe, clearly pleased with his victory. “Wouldn’t want it any other way.”

With engines roaring, you hit the open road. The wind was cool against your face as the trees blurred by, and with every mile, you felt the tension of the mansion fading. Logan’s bike kept steady behind yours, the low rumble matching your own, and by the time you reached the forest clearing, you’d almost forgotten you had a company behind.

••••••

The spot was perfect: a quiet, open stretch beneath towering pines, with a lake gleaming in the early morning light just a few yards away. You slid off your bike and shrugged your rifle strap over your shoulder, taking in the familiar scent of pine and fresh earth. Logan dismounted, his eyes scanning the area with a skeptical look, as though it weren’t quite wild enough for him.

Reaching into your pack, you pulled out a second rifle and handed it to him. “Here. Pre-charged pneumatic rifle. Same as mine.”

Logan took the rifle in his hands, looking it over like it was a toy. He raised an eyebrow, chuckling as he examined it. “An air rifle? What, are we going after rabbits?” He scoffed, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “You sure you don’t want to give me a slingshot while you’re at it?”

You felt the heat rise in your chest, your grip tightening around your own rifle. “It’s called PCP, Logan,” you shot back, voice edged with irritation. “These aren’t toys, and they’re not some cheap replacement for a ‘real’ weapon. Just because it’s not your style doesn’t mean it’s useless.”

Logan chuckled, clearly unimpressed. “Right. Just don’t expect me to take down anything serious with this thing.” You squared your shoulders, meeting his gaze with a defiant glint in your eyes. “You’d be surprised what I can take down with this thing. But hey, if you’d rather just watch, go ahead.”

For a moment, he just looked at you, something sparking in his eyes as if he was finally beginning to understand that this wasn’t a joke to you. Without another word, you turned and started toward the trees, steps purposeful, daring him to follow if he thought he could keep up.

The morning wore on, and Logan followed you through the dense trees, rifle in your hand but with no real intention of using it. Logan moved with the instinctive grace of a predator, completely at ease, his senses sharp, picking up on every rustle and movement around him. It wasn’t long before he spotted a squirrel perched high in the branches, his eyes narrowing as he took aim. A split second later, his rifle went off, and the small animal dropped to the forest floor. Logan glanced back at you, a smug satisfaction evident in his expression.

“See? Not bad for a ‘toy,’” he muttered, half-teasing. You managed a tight smile, adjusting the rifle in your hands, though it felt heavier than usual. As he scoped out his next target, you followed, keeping your expression neutral. Another squirrel appeared on a nearby branch, and Logan gestured for you to take the shot. You lifted your rifle, sighting down the barrel, but at the last moment, you let the bullet go wide, the squirrel darting up the tree and vanishing.

Logan gave a low chuckle, and his eyes gleamed with that knowing look. “Missed, huh?” he said, a trace of sarcasm in his voice. “Didn’t seem like your usual aim.”

You kept your gaze on the ground, shrugging slightly. “Guess I’m a little rusty.” But Logan’s scrutiny didn’t ease up, and he’d clearly seen through you.

Logan’s eyes were sharp as he watched you line up another shot, this time at a squirrel nestled on a higher branch. You steadied your aim, but when you squeezed the trigger, it was with just enough force to send the shot wide, the squirrel scurrying off into the trees. Logan’s low chuckle made you glance over, and you saw that familiar, knowing smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Didn’t miss that one by accident, did you?” he remarked, amusement glinting in his eyes. "I told you I'm just a bit rusty." You said again.

“You didn't squeeze the trigger, you flick em with your finger way too harsh. Tryna scare it off, maybe?” Logan teased which caught you off guard, you raised an eyebrow, studying his expression. “You sound just like my old man.” You told him, recollecting lost memories since you haven't heard those words in ages. Stop pulling the trigger, you need to squeeze it. Your father used to scream those combination of words every. Single. Time. A rifle is in your hand. Stop pulling it, just squeeze. "You two used to hunt together?" Logan voice a bit softer, suddenly brings you back from the pit and let the lost memories to float away once again.

You ignored his rhetorical question as your curiosity mingling with surprise. “Most people wouldn’t notice something so small about a trigger pull.” Logan shrugged, glancing down at his own rifle. “Been around long enough to pick up a thing or two,” he said. “One of my many lives, I was in the military, then special forces. Spent a lot of time with weapons—and people who didn’t always want to shoot straight.”

You nodded, absorbing the new bit of information, of course he'd been in the military at some point, though part of you wondered just how many “lives” he’d actually lived. Logan turned back to the forest, but there was a faint, almost imperceptible softness in his gaze now, as if he understood more than he was letting on.

“So, why come out hunting if you don’t actually want to kill anythin'?” he asked, watching you intently. The question hung in the cool morning air, and you felt a knot tighten in your chest. With a deep breath, you straightened, memories uncoiling in your mind.

“My father used to take me hunting when I was a kid,” you started slowly, eyes tracing the bark of a nearby tree. “Every weekend, he’d drag me out there, make me practice my aim. I hated it, the thought of killing something that didn’t even know I was there.” You paused, voice tightening, but pushed through. “Eventually, he stopped caring if I didn’t shot anything. I’d just aim for the fruit stems, watching them drop." You scoffs recalling another details "I'd bring home a bag full of persimmons, my mum loved them.” You smile sheepishly, remembering the sweet memories you used to have with your family. Even if it's for a really short time.

Logan’s expression softened just a bit, as if he were picking up on the edges of something deeper. When you fell quiet, his gaze never left you, and he waited in that steady, quiet way of his.

“It was… before he sold me to the military,” you added in a clipped tone, almost an afterthought. The words surprised even you, slipping out with a bitterness that had dulled over the years but still lingered. After your words hung in the air, Logan's face shifted, his usual hard expression momentarily cracking. He blinked, caught off guard, brows pulling together as he absorbed what you'd said. His mouth opened as if to speak, but for a beat, he just looked at you, his eyes carrying an unexpected softness.

Finally, his voice came low and careful, the rough edge softened. “I’m… sorry,” he murmured, like he almost couldn’t believe he was saying it.

You gave a short, almost dismissive shrug, lips quirking into a half-smile. “I’m not,” you replied, the words wry but surprisingly honest. Logan’s gaze lingered, his respect for you deepening as he caught the steel beneath your half-joking tone. Without another word, he nodded, the forest around you both settling into a silence that felt almost like understanding.

“You’re a strange one,” he finally said, his voice gruff but softer than usual. He glanced down at the rifle in his hand. “But I get it.”

You didn’t say anything, but you felt a small, unexpected weight lift from your shoulders. Logan turned, heading further into the trees, but he didn’t ask you to take another shot. Instead, he led the way, rifle lowered, the two of you moving together walked in silence for a while, curiosity gnawed at you until you finally asked, “So… how long did you serve?”

Logan glanced at you, a flicker of amusement crossing his face. He gave a short laugh, looking off as if doing the math in his head. “Since the Civil War,” he replied simply.

You stopped in your tracks, caught off guard, blinking as you took in his words. “The Civil War?” You’d guessed he might have been in World War I, but this was something else entirely.

Logan chuckled at your reaction, his lips quirking as he kept walking, and you scrambled to catch up. “What about after that?” you pressed, genuinely curious. “I mean… until when?”

He raised an eyebrow, thoughtful, and then shrugged. “After Vietnam around the 80s,” he answered. “Finally called it quits after a while.” Your mind raced as you did the math. “So that’s….. like more than a hundred and twenty years in the military?” You shook your head, a little awe mixed with something close to disbelief.

Logan just grunted, a wry smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, but then he looked back at you. “What about ya? How long?”

“Twenty,” you replied with a half-smile. “Not even a quarter of your time.” The two of you shared a look, something unspoken but deeply felt passing between you, an understanding of battles fought, the weight of service, and the scars it left behind. Logan’s gaze softened a bit more, his voice quiet but steady. “Guess we both know a thing or two about how it changes you.”

You nodded, feeling a connection that went beyond words. As you walked further into the woods together, a quiet understanding settled between you, each of you carrying the weight of those years but somehow feeling just a little lighter with someone who understood.

As you and Logan trekked further into the woods, a flash of orange against the dense green foliage caught your eye. You stopped in your tracks, looking up at a tall persimmon tree, the branches laden with ripe fruit, a few of them dangling low within sight but just out of reach. It was like a piece of your past had somehow woven itself into this moment, in the middle of the quiet forest with Logan by your side.

Without explaining, you turned to Logan. “Hold still for a second,” you murmured, unslinging your rifle. He raised an eyebrow but complied, watching curiously as you stepped up behind him. Hoisting the rifle up, you positioned it on his shoulder, trying to steady the barrel.

Logan tensed as he felt the weight of your rifle settle. “So, twenty years in the military, and this is what they teach you on rifle safety procedure, huh?” he muttered, his usual sarcasm laced with a flicker of amusement.

You smirked, squinting down the scope as you zeroed in on a particularly plump persimmon. “Cry me a river, Logan. It’s not like if I accidentally blow off an ear, it wouldn’t grow back.”

Logan huffed, shaking his head slightly but careful not to disrupt your aim. “Real professional,” he grumbled. “I didn’t live over a century just to become someone’s human bipod.”

You stifled a laugh, your gaze still fixed on the fruit, the tiniest stem all that kept it hanging. “Do me a favor and shut up. Hold your damn breath my rifle's trembling." You said firmly with slight irritation in your voice.

Logan’s muttered complaints quieted, though his annoyance was clear as he held his breath, his whole frame going rigid beneath the weight of your rifle. “Unbelievable,” he managed to whisper, voice muffled as he exhaled in controlled bursts.

With a steady hand and laser focus, you squeezed the trigger just as your father had taught you. The shot rang out, clean and precise, and with a satisfying snap, the persimmon detached and fell gracefully into the forest floor. Stepping back with a triumphant grin, you patted Logan on the shoulder as if he’d actually contributed.

Logan exhaled, glancing between you and the fallen persimmon. “You really went through all that trouble for one fruit?” You shrugged, retrieving the persimmon and wiping it clean on your sleeve. “Not just any fruit,” you replied, studying it with a small, nostalgic smile before taking a bite. “It’s a piece of home.”

Logan watched you for a beat, his usual snark softened, something like understanding flickering in his gaze. But of course, he wasn’t going to give you the satisfaction without one last jab.

“Next time, maybe just ask for a ladder,” he muttered, though the faintest smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind,” you replied, biting back a grin as you stashed the persimmon for later.

Logan’s gaze settled on another branch of ripe persimmons hanging just out of reach, and you saw the challenge spark in his eyes. Without a word, he raised his rifle and took aim at the slim stem of a fruit, clearly bent on proving himself.

“Careful,” you warned, munching on your own persimmon. “It’s not that easy without something to steady your aim.” But he only smirked, cocky as ever. “Shut up"

You raised an eyebrow, amused. “Oh, I’d give you three chances with that,” you shot back, a teasing glint in your eyes.

Logan rolled his eyes, muttering "I don't need three bullets." something under his breath as he braced the rifle, using only his left arm for support. He took his first shot, and the bullet whizzed by the stem, barely brushing it. A slight frown replaced his smirk as he reloaded, now more focused.

“Still sure you don’t need three?” you taunted, crossing your arms as you watched. He grunted in response, taking aim again. The second shot missed by a hair, and he huffed in frustration, your expression already broadcasting an I told you so.

“Huh. Not exactly fair,” he muttered, a faint grumble in his tone. “You had my shoulder as a bipod, and it’s not like I can use yours.” His eyes flicked to your height as if to emphasize the point, a slight smirk tugging at his mouth.

Raising an eyebrow, you smirked back. “Have you ever thought about just asking for help?” Before you could second-guess the impulse, you stepped in front of him, lifting your right arm and offering it up. “Here, use this.”

Logan’s smirk faltered as he looked down at you, clearly caught off guard but game enough to try. He gave a short nod, settling his rifle on your palm with arm raised above your head, though he quickly realized it wasn’t quite steady. Without a word, he reached out, his calloused fingers wrapping around your wrist to gently adjust the height. The touch was firm, grounding, but the warmth of his hand sent a jolt through you, making your heart skip a beat. You hadn't fully thought this through, and now, standing this close to him, you became acutely aware of every detail. The roughness of his hand against your skin, and the subtle brush of his fingers as he guided your arm into position.

He adjusted your arm a little higher, bringing it closer to his shoulder, his focus entirely on the rifle. But for you, every second of contact felt charged. The way his hand lingered, steadying you, almost made you forget why you’d offered in the first place.

“Hold it there,” he murmured, his voice low, almost a growl. You nodded, words catching in your throat, as he finally let go, his hand slipping from your wrist, leaving your skin tingling where his fingers had been.

For a moment, you were hyper-aware of the closeness between you, his face inches from yours. Your heart picked up its pace as you took in every detail—the rugged lines, the odd yet charming mutton chops, and the hint of green that softened his hazel eyes. How could a man this old look so… timeless?

With steady focus, Logan finally pulled the trigger. The shot rang out, sharp and clean, hitting the branch dead-on. You turned your head just in time to see the cluster of persimmons break loose, tumbling to the ground with satisfying thuds.

Before you could react, Logan lowered the rifle from your raised arm, his smirk unmistakably triumphant. He looked at you, eyes twinkling with that signature cocky satisfaction, and held your gaze a moment longer than expected. The intensity in his eyes made you catch your breath, an almost silent exchange passing between you, his smirk softening just slightly as if savoring the moment.

But before he could notice the warmth spreading across your face, you quickly turned away, breaking the spell. Without missing a beat, you strode toward the fallen persimmons, dropping to your knees and reaching for them, your heart still pounding.

“See?” you said, grinning as you picked up the fruit, keeping your focus on them. “I don’t make the rules. Everybody needs a bipod.” Logan gave a low chuckle behind you, clearly amused, but you kept gathering the persimmons, not quite ready to face him again. The weight of that brief look stayed with you, lingering just like the warmth of his hand on your wrist.

As you pocketed the last of the fallen persimmons, you began walking deeper into the woods, Logan by your side. The familiar path led you to a small, serene lake you’d often visited. You knew these woods by heart, every hidden trail and shaded grove. The early morning sun cast a warm glow over the still water, and without a word, you both sat down on the soft grass by the lake’s edge.

The peaceful quiet settled around you as you leaned back, savoring one of the persimmons Logan had shot down. You glanced at him thoughtfully. “So, why did they call you Wolverine?” you asked, breaking the silence.

He shrugged, his expression unreadable. “Someone invented that name for me,” he replied shortly, brushing it off. "Why do they call you Hollow?” he asked, his voice low, almost as if he were reluctant to break the peace of the early hour.

You looked down at the half-eaten persimmon in your hands, a slight smile tugging at your lips. “I invented that name myself. Better than what they used to call me. Fire and Flesh,” you replied, your tone casual, though the weight of those words still lingered. His eyes narrowed slightly, intrigued. “Who called you that?”

“Jarheads,” you replied, using the old slang for Marines, which Logan seemed to understand. His face softened, a flash of recognition in his expression. “Semper fi,” he murmured, the famous Latin phrase among Marines meaning always faithful, familiar in his voice.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes a bit, though with a soft smile. “Oorah,” you replied weakly, echoing the battle cry you’d once shouted alongside fellow Marines. It had been years since anyone had greeted you with Semper fi and it stirred something within you, a sense of camaraderie, a reminder of a time long past.

But as you sat there, looking out over the lake, you felt an unexpected calm wash over you. The overwhelming weight you’d carried for so long felt lighter in this quiet moment. Sitting by the lake, eating persimmons with your new friend from work, far removed from the chaos of life, gave you a sense of peace you hadn’t known you needed.

As you pocketed the last of the fallen persimmons, you rose and dusted off your hands. The quiet of the lake had been soothing, but the early morning sun was beginning to creep higher, casting golden beams through the trees. “We should probably head back,” you said, glancing up at the sky. “It’s almost nine.” Logan gave a nod, and together, you began the walk back through the woods.

After a few minutes of silence, you broke it with a question that had been lingering. “Does it hurt…when your claws come out?” Logan’s eyes flicked toward you, then back to the trail. “Every time.”

There was something in his tone—a resigned acceptance that pulled at you. Logan then returned the question, his gaze shifting to you thoughtfully. “How did they…manage to push your mutations?”

You took a breath, the memories flooding back with an uncomfortable vividness. As you walked, you found yourself speaking, the words coming out slowly, almost reluctantly. “I was human. For 27 years, I think. Feels like a lifetime ago.” You paused, watching the path ahead. “They injected me with something. Then left me in an incubator for days, where the oxygen pressure would drop so low I’d pass out. Over and over again.”

Logan’s face hardened, but he didn’t say anything. Somehow, an apology felt empty, too small for what you’d endured. Instead, he shared his own story, his voice low. “My, uh…claws. They were bones naturally.” The admission caught you off guard, and you looked at him, silently urging him to continue.

“They coated them in metal,” he explained, his tone blunt. “Adamantium. Through injections.” You winced at the thought. “That’s…sick.” There was a beat of silence, so you added lightly, hoping to soften the mood, “Do you like them better now, though? You know, because they’re metal and unbreakable? I can’t even picture you with bone claws. Kinda gross, actually.” Logan shot you a sidelong glance, half-amused. “You’re a terrible person, you know that?”

“Maybe,” you replied with a smirk. “But, come on, do you?” He shook his head, chuckling softly. “Yeah, it’s better with adamantium.” You couldn’t help but grin, triumphant. “Knew it.”

The two of you kept walking, your conversation mingling with the crunch of leaves underfoot, the forest around you somehow feeling a little less heavy. The bond between you, shaped by shared scars and dark humor, felt surprisingly natural, like the start of a new kind of camaraderie.

As you both finally made it back to where your bikes were parked, the morning's warmth faded into a colder silence. You knelt, carefully unzipping your bag and placing your rifle down, adjusting everything with meticulous care, you're always taught PCP rifle is so fragile, the stock is carved with polished woods and not some metal. Just as you were reaching back, Logan called out casually, “Hey, here you go,” and tossed the rifle he had borrowed straight in your direction.

In that split second, you hadn’t been looking, and before you could react, the rifle fell to the ground with a harsh thud.

A bolt of panic and fury surged through you as you stared at it, horrified. You reached down, fingers trembling as you inspected the rifle. This wasn’t just any rifle. It was a gift from your late mentor Mr Santiago who had taught you everything about shooting since you're fourteen years old, who had trusted you with his prized possession. The wood of the stock had cracked upon impact, a delicate fracture spider-webbing across the finish.

“You dumbfuck,” you said, your voice icy and trembling with anger. “Couldn’t you just handed me the rifle like a normal person!?” Logan looked taken aback, his brow furrowing. “Whoa, relax,” he muttered, straddling his bike. “The rifle’s fine.”

You knelt by the rifle, running a finger over the crack. It was irreparable, and your hands tightened with suppressed rage. “You cracked the fucking stock,” you spat, not even looking at him. He shrugged, still unconcerned. “Alright, sorry, that’s on me. Look, I can get it fixed or just replace it.”

“Replace it?” You turned on him, anger boiling over. “Unlike you, Logan, I actually take care of things. People trusted me and this rifle was a gift. My mentor gave this to me before he died. I’ve kept it safe for years, not a single scratch. Here you go holding it for one fucking hour and you manage to crack it. You're unbelievable, I can't believe I trusted you with it.” Your voice trembled with the weight of disappointment and resentment.

Logan went quiet, his face darkening, but he didn’t say anything. For a moment, he looked like he was going to respond, but the words died in his throat as he looked away, feeling the sting of what he’d done. Without another word, you packed your bag, zipped it tightly, and got on your bike.

Without looking back, you started up the engine and took off, the roar of the bike carrying your frustration as you sped down the trail, the tires kicking up dust behind you. You left Logan behind in the dust, his figure shrinking in the rearview mirror, a mix of guilt and regret plain on his face. He sat in silence, the gravity of his small but thoughtless mistake settling over him.

••••••

As you arrived back at the X-Mansion, the grand building loomed before you, a familiar yet comforting sight amidst the turmoil of your thoughts. You parked your bike and headed toward the mansion's entrance, not even glancing behind to check if Logan had caught up. He was still somewhere on the trail, and that suited you just fine.

Entering the mansion, you were greeted by Ororo’s calm voice as she crossed the hall. “Good morning. Professor Xavier needs to see the team after breakfast,” she informed you, her usual serene expression in place, though her keen eyes picked up on your tension. You nodded, offering a faint smile, and continued upstairs without another word.

Once in your room, you carefully laid the damaged rifle on your bed, the fracture in the stock glaring up at you. Sitting down beside it, you ran your fingers along the crack, feeling a pang of frustration and sadness twist in your chest. Mr. Santiago’s face came to mind, and the disappointment in yourself for letting this happen stung. Fixing it wouldn’t be easy—it might not even be possible—and the thought weighed on you.

But you needed to gather yourself; there was a team meeting, and breakfast first. With a sigh, you stood, tearing your gaze away from the broken rifle, and exited your room, leaving the door cracked open. You resolved to focus on one thing at a time: breakfast, the meeting, and then dealing with this mess.

As you made your way downstairs, the usual chatter in the dining area barely registered as you sat down, grabbing a cup of coffee and some toast, lost in your thoughts.

•••••••

Gathered around in Professor Xavier’s office, the team waited, exchanging curious glances. Scott, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, tapped his foot impatiently. “Where’s Logan?” he muttered.

Ororo stood near the window, arms folded. “He’ll be here,” she said, though a hint of curiosity flickered in her gaze. Jean, seated beside the professor’s desk, looked thoughtful, sensing the tension in the room.

Just as Scott opened his mouth to comment again, Logan entered, his gaze immediately locking with yours. You quickly averted your eyes, refocusing on Professor Xavier, who was already watching you both with a knowing look. Logan took his place, leaning against the wall, his expression unreadable but quietly remorseful.

Charles cleared his throat, signaling the start of the meeting. A hologram flickered to life above the table, displaying an image of a stern-looking man with a white lab coat and cold, calculating eyes. “This is Dr. Emrys Killebrew,” Charles began. “A former geneticist known for his experimentation on mutants and humans alike, pushing the limits of ethical science. Over the decades, his work has created…unintended consequences. He has targeted individuals he believed showed potential to develop powers, experimenting on them without regard for their lives.”

Your heart sank, a feeling of dread creeping over you. Professor’s gaze softened as he addressed you specifically, “Hollow, I believe you’re already aware of some of his projects, though you may not know the extent.”

You nodded, but then froze as Charles continued, “He’s the one responsible for the injections that changed you. Dr. Killebrew obtained Wolverine's genetic material in the late '70s…and used it in his experiments on you... when you were still human.”

Stunned, you tore your gaze from Charles and glanced at Logan, whose expression had gone dark with a mixture of guilt and confusion. His eyes locked onto yours, intense and searching, as though he was processing the news for the first time himself. For a heartbeat, the two of you were frozen in a silent exchange before you turned your head back to Charles as the memories of those experiments came back vividly, the painful injections, the endless tests, the way they broke you down. The odds that Logan’s DNA had been a part of it all felt surreal.

A solemn silence settled in the room, broken by Ororo’s gentle voice. “Professor…is he still conducting these experiments?”

“Yes,” Charles replied gravely, flicking to another image of a heavily guarded facility. “We’ve located another of his labs. Intelligence suggests he’s holding a group of young mutants there—twelve in total. They’re being kept under heavy surveillance and sedation, and they are in immediate danger. I need you all to work together tonight to bring them home.”

Scott stepped forward, his tone resolute. “We’ll get them out, Professor. Whatever it takes.” His gaze traveled over the team, determination in his eyes. Jean nodded, her expression fierce. “If Killebrew’s behind this, we can’t let him keep experimenting on innocent kids. He’s not getting away this time.”

Hank, adjusting his glasses, looked thoughtful. “It will be essential to understand the facility’s layout and any possible security measures. If this location mirrors any of his previous labs, it’s likely rigged with traps for mutants specifically.”

Logan spoke up, his voice tense. “I’ll handle any of those traps. This guy’s work is…personal.” He looked toward you again, softer, a silent apology in his eyes. “More than most of you might realize.” Ororo placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “Then we move quickly. Every second counts if those children are suffering.”

Charles nodded approvingly, his gaze sweeping over the group. “Thank you. Prepare to leave after sunset. Coordinate together to ensure the safest extraction possible. We bring them back to safety tonight.”

Part 4 ->

An: It gets even longer through every new chapters, the ideas is buzzing in my mind. Thank you guys for interacting, I'll see you next chapter<3

[mcu-4-you]

War Child

Part one

Bucky Barnes x (Fem) Reader

Avengers x (Fem) Reader

Warnings: Blood, mention of deaths, other creepy hydra shit, bad language words (lol) and a lot more other warnings, so be prepared.

Characters: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Clint Barton (Sometimes) Natasha Romanoff, Bruce Banner (Sometimes) Thor Odison, Loki Laufeyson, Peter Parker, Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff, Bucky Barnes, Yelena Belova, Arnim Zola,

Description: You're a hydra experiment or had been one since you were young, For years you lived within the cold walls of Siberia and when you finally get free, faces from the past and demons come out to haunt you Reader is an enchanted superhuman, she has the super soldier serum giving her, super speed, super strength, a healing factor, fast metabolism, endurance, strong lung capacity & etc, she also has both fire and ice magic. The time line in this will review the past and present. Reader can look anyway you want. Her soon love interest will be Bucky. Authors Note: Please know that none of these characters belong to me, they belong to marvel, Y/N is your character of choice. also your thoughts will be orange, Bucky's thoughts will be blue and the others will be purple

Avengers tower present 9:34 am Avengers pov

Gathered around table enjoying breakfast and conversation sits the avengers, everyone seems happy, Bucky and Loki bantering with one another about who can do bad better, Steve acting like a mom and Tony being the overgrown brat, Wanda, Natasha and Yelena talking quietly amongst each other in sokovian, then there's Peter, Pietro, Sam and Thor arguing about how many bad guys they can beat in a fight, like family they're fun and chaotic. Everything seemed to go quiet when the leather jacket wearing, eye patched man walks in with a file and flash drive, the atmosphere once relaxed and playful now tense and serious, as all eyes land on the director Nick Fury. "Hope i'm not souring the mood." he says his tone, dripping with his usual uncaring sarcasm. "Anyways." he continues, "We have a problem, a big one, a loose cannon hydra related one." He sets down the file on the middle of the table and Bucky is the first to grab it, the minute he opens it, the color from his face drains, there it was a whole section dedicated to you, a ghost is what you are, one he was made to train when he was The winter soldier, a deadly weapon is what you became, just like him, but unlike him, he was captured, but you, you were born and raised into a hell, and turned into something so deadly.

Steve looks at Bucky and raises a brow in concern and curiosity, Steve pauses debating whether he should say anything but he decides to anyway, "Hey Buck, you alright, you look a little pale." Bucky snaps out of his current thoughts and glances at Steve and the rest of the team and he swallows, a shaky sigh leaving his lips and he says "I know her, i knew her." Every member of the team gives each other looks before nodding and taking turns to look at the entire file and Sam speaks "So where do we start?"

Italy present

Your Pov I arrive back into my rented apartment, after getting some needed food and water, i knew my time here in Italy was running thin but there was something about this place i liked, i couldn't get comfortable though, it was only a matter of time before the devil came knocking. After heating up a simple tv dinner, i sit on the small couch in my living room watching the old school box television, it's on the news channel, the headlines read "Avengers strike once again saving over a hundred innocent civilians from a hostage situation with the terrorist group known as HYDRA." A sigh leaves me and i start eating as i change the channel to a cartoon, it wasn't one i've seen before, it was a blonde with really long hair and a pretty purple dress, now interested i continue to watch the movie and finish my dinner, soon i set my plate aside and just watch tv, i was enjoying the movie more than i'd like to admit. Berlin 1953 (Past & your nightmare) "Papa, i don't understand what you want me to do, you little voice trembles as you look up at the man in front of you, he stare you down and pats you head, his German accent thick as he speaks, "In time, you will learn to master the gift i have given you my child." a grin spreads on Zola's lips, to you it seemed innocent but only if you knew it was anything but innocent.

Your Pov (Present) I jolted awake in a slight sweat, my eyes dart around the room, weariness and confusion etched on my features, i thought i was back hom-there, but i'm in my living room, i'm in Italy, i swallow and wipe my forehead with the sleeve of my sweater and i stand up, my steps are silent on the wood floors as i walk into the kitchen, i fill me a glass of water and gulp it down as if i was a man stuck in the desert. my hands are shaky as i set the glass down and stare at the dark curtained covered windows. "He's gone, no longer here." i tell myself and i make my way to my bathroom, a shower was much needed to calm myself.

Berlin 1954 (Past & Bucky's nightmare) "Soldat! you're back with the stuff." Zola hums in approval and takes the metal case from the winter soldier, he snaps his fingers for the soldier to follow him and the soldier complies without question. Zola leads the soldier into the lab, for a moment the soldier tenses, he didn't think he had another procedure today but then his eyes falls onto you, a girl strapped down onto a table asleep, he blinks, he couldn't tell if it was worry, or surprise but he manages to school it like he was taught, the soldiers eyes follow Zola as he pulls out the bag of super serum, it was a cheap one, not to affective but it'll still work, just not like his, the soldier watches as Zola sticks it into an IV like bag and he watches as Zola stick the IV into you and slowly the serum makes it way to your skin and finally it slips into your blood stream making you jolt in pain and cry out.

Avengers tower (Present) Bucky's room Bucky's Pov His eyes snap open quickly and they dart around, checking for any signs of danger or anyone one at all, nothing it's all silent except for his racing heart and his own breathing, his brows are furrowed as he recalls the nightmare, that day, the day when Karpor made him bring that serum to Zola, that day where your life would change for ever and not for the good, a wave of guilt floods through Bucky as he thinks about that day, how he just watched, and stood there as that evil son of a bitch gave you that serum with no remorse as he hurt and changed you drastically. Bucky knew he had to find you, hell he knew you were lost and confused like he was and like he had steve, you'll have him.

Let me know what you think, i will definitely be making different parts to this story, i'm pausing my other story to work on this one since i had this longer and like this better. Part two is being worked on so stay tuned.

Tag list: @sapphirebarnes i know you wanted to be tagged in my other post but i'm keeping that on hold right now, so i hope you like this one just as much.

[districtfourmermaid]

When the movie first came out, I was desperately forgiving of the differences. Now, (basically since the Mockingjay movies) I agree that most of them were bad.

Right after the Catching Fire movie came out, I kinda liked this change because it seemed like Gale did it to defend someone (Greasy Sae?) from being beaten by that peacekeeper. I enjoyed that he was taking action to defend his people. And that is was I love about Gale. However, after seeing how the Mockingjay movies distorted his character even further, I saw that this was just meant to be part of that, painting him as unecessarily violent.

i will never forgive the hunger games movie for changing the scene where gale gets whipped from "he was whipped for bringing back turkey he'd hunted to feed his family" to "he was whipped for being Violent" like. so many people's interpretations of gale's character is based on the movies, and that change is a huge one. gale was being punished to punish katniss for her stunt at the games, but he was also being punished for daring to have a hungry family he was trying to feed. and outside of katniss, would that not feed your spark? would that not make you angry and crave retribution against the very government that decided you should be punished for starving? it feels like a deliberate attempt to flatten gale's character to further push the love triangle angle, and i don't like that!

[yorshie]

[izel-scribbles]

just finished malevolent relisten. needless to say the obsession has been rekindled tenfold its previous magnitude

[walking-existential-crisis]

Me realising I have to actually write my whole fic and not just little paragraphs in between with no context: Fuck

[pariaritzia]

bro hombale films posted the full video of sooreede from salaar and it literally just looks like a gay fan edit...what gay intern made this I'm laughing so much this is fantastic