#postal 2 apocalypse weekend

[flowersandbirdsflyingfree]

Mr. and Mrs. Dude Headcanons: What Went Wrong? (Angst Warning)

The Postal Dude and The Bitch were married for about 7 years, dating for literally 10 months. The Dude met the Bitch at a club around ‘95. They grew up in Scottsdale. Her real name was Shannon [REDACTED].

Dude had been disowned by his step-father and the Bitch was in a rebellious phase. Both were seeking a need for constant validation and ego stroking, which was the catalyst of the toxicity yet to come.

It started off as a coming of age type of relationship. The Bitch was the first person to ever make Postal Dude feel wanted. Like he wasn’t some loser tumbleweeding across the desert. They were pretty much inseparable since day one. They shared their first kiss in a movie theater… and then she gave head in the back row.

Bitch got tattooed Dude’s name on her right boob. Dude had his favorite photo of her in his wallet: the two of them sharing a lighter for their cigarettes.

Their banter was a love language. It also reflected the part of Bitch he felt challenged by: her attitude. He thought he could tame her fiery ways. Her anger was kinda hot. Little would the Dude know it’d come to bite him in the ass down the line.

Dude was introduced to Bitch’s family. They didn’t like him one bit, except for a younger sister who thought he was pretty cute. Because Bitch’s parents were so pushy for their daughter to get married, no one stopped her.

The wedding was a church mass followed by a really fun reception! It seemed like the future was bright. Champ even got a slice of wedding cake.

The Bitch would get into a fight with her parents that left them on low contact. The “honeymoon” was a roadtrip to a music festival Uncle Dave hooked them up with. Life was sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll, baby!

The first year was the happiest year of their marriage. Both were too blinded by their shallow infatuation for each other to see that there was zero stability and depth in their foundation. They were two young people who rushed quickly into things. Peace didn’t bring them together. It was a drug for constant adrenaline that did. Marriage was the test that failed their relationship. Everyone’s the asshole in this situation.

Dude slacked way more once they tied the knot. Reality had set in that keeping a job was very hard with a criminal record. His lack of work ethic thus killed the bedroom for good. Or was it his erectile dysfunction?

The Bitch was no better herself. Her once playful teasing changed to harsh degradation. She would eat her feelings and did next to nothing in return, despite expecting Dude to “pick up after himself.” Nothing got cleaned, cooked or cared for. She didn’t get a job either because she was already working full-time to drive this man up a wall.

On a good day, they tolerate each other like roommates. But on a bad day? Expect broken plates and public disturbance to the neighborhood.

Their song was The Way by Fastball. Dude can’t listen to it anymore without thinking of her, so he hates it now.

After the nuke hit Paradise, she managed to get their marriage annulled by the church without telling him. This explains how she was able to attempt marrying her side piece: Jewish Mad Cow Demon Mike Jaret.

Dude doesn’t handle his tougher feelings well. He could acknowledge that the woman he loved never existed, but that’s too much to swallow. All that matters is he finally has peace and quiet. Just him, his dog and the trailer. Thank God!

[yourfavoriteartfreak]

Hi there, would you like to sign my petition?

[duckydemons]

RWS Intro Gifset :]

(I know my main tumblr page is mostly POSTAL content nowadays but.. I get a lot of engagement and like seeing fellow POSTAL enjoyers so I’m playing favourites).

Also The Dude in the 2022 Intro is the Postal 2 variant, just as a fun fact.

[ur-fav-is-disabled]

I won’t lie, I’m probably gonna get flamed for requesting this but someone pointed out Postal Dude has a handicapped license plate so uh..

Can I request Dude w/ IED and schizoaffective disorder? Thank you!

The Postal Dude is Disabled!

Disabilities: Schizoaffective Disorder & Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED)

Definitions:

Valley Behavioural Health System - An impulse-control disorder characterized by sudden episodes of unwarranted, impulsive and reoccurring anger. (IED)

Mind.org - A mental health problem where you experience psychosis as well as mood symptoms including: hallucinations, delusions, mania, depressive symptoms and disorganised thinking. (Schizoaffective Disorder)

[sixmonths0sleep]

if you know anything about my main blog, you’ll know that i love the POSTAL games..

was innocently scrolling the internet and then BAM, this shows up in the POSTAL 2 tag..

fight club reference.. in a POSTAL game.. i WIN SO GOOD (it says Fuck Club on the soap but let’s be real, accurate alternative title) /j

[analogtoonz]

Hi um you made a (postal) dudeflux flag but maybe we could get one without the flux? I don't think my postaldudeness fluctuates. It's fine if not, I completely get it!

Say no less! Hope this is good!

MULTIDUDE

-> Multidude refers to an individual who finds that they have a connection to POSTAL’s protagonist ‘The Dude’, no matter what version of The Dude they may see. This can be due to plurality, alterhumanitiy or just a general connection to his character.

id: a rectangular flag with 7 horizontal stripes. from top to bottom the stripes are coloured black, light brown, red, brown, red, light brown and black. in the foreground, at the very centre, is yellow road sign symbol with the image of a person running with a pair of scissors in their right hand. Around the person are multiple circular bullet holes. /end id

[m43d4y]

My favourite song currently (this version specifically)

[alexstauber]

HEHEHEHE

the second hand was unsuccessful. sorry...

telegram channel - stauberhate

>:))))

[spiderh0rse]

having wrapped up playing Apocalypse Weekend today, the most I have to say is that Saturday was. Bad. Very bad. But once Sunday kicked in and I flipped from "oh hell yes postal 2 GAMEPLAY" to "oh it's just half life OpFor" it all worked fine. Because MAN Sunday just played like a Half Life expansion. Looked like one, with all the interior design and the military ambushes. Loved returning to slaughtering the military after setting Half Life down for Postal. Refreshing return to what I can now safely say is a favoured activity of mind. I think Dude would have a blast in an HEV suit.

[duckydemons]

dukedude shippers genuine question, which dude voice do you imagine the dude has for this one ship in particular?

is it.. Jon St John’s.. cause funny??

or is it like.. this type of thing???

twitter liked this one so ill post it here

[crabjest]

Postal posting I Fucking Love Yucky Men

[nor3gertz]

Ever have one of those days?

Alt versions below:

Kinda like a breakdown lol

[duckydemons]

I’m so sad

(Is a firm believer that The Dude’s marriage to The Bitch wasn’t always bad and tried to imagine how happy they must have looked in their wedding photos).

((Also how Dude probably can’t look at them anymore because he hates her and now knows how shitty of a person she actually is)).

[duckydemons]

the creepy environments are the best part of Apocalypse Weekend (and Corey’s lines, if we’re counting Paradise Lost..) sorry Dude !!

ow my head :(

[piktusid]

Actual dudes for your soul(If there's anything left)

[ribchillz]

VERANO CARROÑA