#the first few moments he was onscreen i was thinking “hes too kind of a dad to live” and i was right

[libbys-braincell-loss]

another quick movie review

the good dinosaur

arlo's dad dying was very predictable

[ghibli-collector]

Another interesting article about the new Ghibli film Boy and the Heron with great insights into Miyazaki’s relationship with Joe Hisaishi and Toshio Suzuki making films over the years. Again it has a few spoilers

What’s it like to work with Hayao Miyazaki? Go behind the scenes.

News of Hayao Miyazaki’s retirement can’t ever be trusted.

The Japanese animation master’s repeated claims that he’ll give up filmmaking are a response to the strain that creating each of his largely hand-drawn universes entails. At least that’s what Toshio Suzuki, a founder of Studio Ghibli and Miyazaki’s right-hand man for the past 40 years, believes.

"Every time he finishes a film, he’s so exhausted he can’t think about the next project,” Suzuki explains. "He’s used up his energy physically and mentally. He needs some time to clear his mind. And to have a blank canvas to come up with new ideas.”

A decade after 2013’s "The Wind Rises” was heralded as Miyazaki’s final film, the 82-year-old auteur’s newest feature, "The Boy and the Heron,” is being released in the United States after major success in Japan over the summer, where it opened without any traditional publicity.

Though the director hasn’t given any interviews about "The Boy and the Heron,” Suzuki, 75, who is also a veteran producer, and Joe Hisaishi, 72, the longtime composer on Miyazaki’s movies, describe in separate video interviews the master’s working process and how their collaborations have evolved — or not — over the years.

Suzuki is casually dressed and speaking, via an interpreter, from Japan, where he sits next to a pillow emblazoned with Totoro, the bearlike troll that serves as the studio’s logo. He says the new fantasy film is Miyazaki’s most personal yet. Set in the final days of World War II, the tale follows 11-year-old Mahito, who, after losing his mother in a fire, moves to the countryside, where a magical realm beckons him.

"At the start of this project, Miyazaki came to me and asked me, ‘This is going to be about my story, is that going to be OK?’ I just nodded,” Suzuki recalls with the matter-of-factness of someone who’s learned it would be futile to stand in the way of the director.

For a long time, he says, Miyazaki worried that if he made a movie about a young male, inspiration would inevitably be drawn from his own childhood, which he felt might not make for an interesting narrative. Growing up, Miyazaki had trouble communicating with people and expressed himself instead by drawing pictures.

"I noticed that with this film, where he portrayed himself as a protagonist, he included a lot of humorous moments in order to cover up that the boy, based on himself, is very sensitive and pessimistic,” Suzuki says. "That was interesting to see.”

If Miyazaki is the boy, Suzuki adds, then he himself is the heron, a mischievous flying entity in the story that pushes the young hero to keep going. Director Isao Takahata, Studio Ghibli’s third foundational musketeer, who died in 2018, is represented onscreen by Granduncle, a wise but weathered figure who controls the fantastical world Mahito ventures into.

Suzuki first met Miyazaki in the late 1970s, when the animator was making his first feature, "Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro,” an amusing caper. Back then, Suzuki was a journalist hoping to interview him.

But Miyazaki, who was working on a storyboard, had no interest in talking and ignored him. "Out of kindness, I thought it was a good thing to introduce his works to my readers, and for him to be very cranky and disrespectful, I was very angry,” Suzuki remembers.

He stuck around the studio for two more days of silence. On the third, Miyazaki asked him if he knew a term for a car overtaking another during a chase. Suzuki’s reply, a specific Japanese expression for such action, finally broke the ice and kick-started their long-term relationship.

"Miyazaki still remembers that first meeting, too,” Suzuki says. "He thought that I was a person not to be trusted. And that’s why he was very cautious about talking to me.”

Over the years, Suzuki has become increasingly indispensable for Miyazaki. "He always tells me, ‘Suzuki-san, can you remember the important things for me?’ And then he feels that he can forget about all the important things not concerning his films. I have to remember them for him,” Suzuki says.

Best friends more than mere collaborators, Miyazaki and Suzuki talk every day, even if there’s nothing urgent to discuss, and make it a rule to meet in person on Mondays and Thursdays. "What we talk about is very trivial most times, I guess he feels lonely or misses me, but it’s always him who calls me. I never call him,” Suzuki says, adding with a laugh, "Sometimes he even calls me in the middle of the night, like at 3 a.m., and the first thing he says is, ‘Were you awake?’ And obviously I was not. I’m in bed!”

In contrast, Hisaishi, the composer who first worked with Miyazaki on the 1984 feature "Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind,” has a strictly professional relationship with him.

"We don’t see each other in private,” Hisaishi, wearing an elegant sweater, says through a translator. "We don’t eat together. We don’t drink together. We only meet to discuss things for work.” That emotional distance, he adds, is what has made their partnership over 11 films so creatively fruitful.

"People think that if you really know a person’s full character then you can have a good working relationship, but that doesn’t necessarily hold true,” Hisaishi says. "What is most important to me is to compose music. The most important thing in life to Miyazaki is to draw pictures. We are both focused on those most important things in our lives.”

On "The Boy and the Heron,” Miyazaki didn’t provide Hisaishi with any instruction. The musician watched the film only when it was nearly completed but still with no sound or dialogue. At that point Miyazaki simply said to Hisaishi, "I just leave it up to you.”

"I feel he was just thinking that he could rely on me and expected me to come up with something,” Hisaishi says. "I feel like I was very much trusted to do this.”

For all of their previous collaborations, Miyazaki would bring on Hisaishi to discuss once three out of the four or five parts of the storyboard for a new film were ready. That the process changed this time was possible only because of their shared history.

"It’s as if we’ve been Olympic athletes making a film once every four years for 40 years,” Hisaishi says. "It’s been a long time of training and performing. When I look back I’m amazed that I could write music for these very different films.”

In his contemporary classical work, Hisaishi had been working on minimalist compositions with repeating patterns, and he took that approach to the new film.

While he maintains they are just colleagues, every January for the past 15 years, Hisaishi has composed a small tune, recorded it on a piano and sent it to Miyazaki as a birthday present. This tradition has now become the seasoned musician’s lucky charm.

"After about three times I thought, ‘This has probably run its course,’” Hisaishi recalls. "I didn’t send one the following year. That whole year I wasn’t able to work very well. It was sort of a jinx that I had not sent him something, so I started sending him the music again for his birthday,” he adds with a laugh.

Both Hisaishi and Suzuki say their interactions with Miyazaki have not changed much over the decades. On the contrary, the men have become staunch creatures of habit.

Asked why his profound connection with Miyazaki has endured so long, Suzuki says: "I don’t necessarily agree, but he once told me, ‘I’ve never met someone so similar to me. You are the last person that I will meet like that.’”

BY CARLOS AGUILAR

THE NEW YORK TIMES

[charmwasjess]

Stupid sexy the Acolyte why I am still watching you

Ugh, because it unfortunately rules, that's why. I don't know. On one hand, I still have all of my concerns about the portrayal of the Jedi Order and my absolute exhaustion with the plotline of "oooh, but wHaT iF the Jedi bAd?!" while offhandedly massacring interesting cool Jedi who are voluntarily and honorably living out their convictions as empty plot fodder. I am so tired. But I also keep genuinely finding things to like about the show.

I really like the big chunky boxy lightsaber designs. They remind me of my first car: one of those perfectly square Volvo station wagons. I think the prequel Jedi lightsaber designs tend to be a little industrial/ utilitarian, whereas Dooku's generation (in the few example we have, I'm thinking of his, Sifo-Dyas's, and Jocasta's, because those are the ones I've looked at too many times) can be a little fussy and overdesigned. It's cool to see how generations of Jedi riff on popular designs for their era.

The size makes for a big impact when characters do things such as hold the emitter against the head of another character, or as in last night, bring it up to someone's throat, because damn, that thing is a clunker. It looks so dangerous.

Master Sol. Master Sol. Master Sol. I'm not sure I have ever seen a live action role where the actor has more uniquely and specifically captured what I love about the Jedi in one character.

The scene where he goes down to reset the transmitter and has his little micro-breakdown after the "team is dead" bit. What an powerful moment. The amount of acting he did with absolutely no dialogue, no one else in the scene to bounce off of, just a quiet moment of grief, rage, and loss. I've read both criticism and rebuttals of Jedi acting - oh, they're wooden, no, they're accurately playing a person with a lifetime worth of trained emotional control - and this was such an incredible example of portraying a person with a lifetime of emotional control training realistically experiencing an excruciating, heartbreaking loss. You see him lose control, open himself up to the Force/self soothe, and regain it. All just with a sequence of facial expressions. Honestly, if I get absolutely nothing else out of the show and hate where they go with this, it will have been worth watching for that alone. It's that important to me.

And just - Sol. :') When he gives Not-Osha a big HUG? I'm such a sucker for Jedi onscreen hugs. Man, his inevitable death is gonna blow.

Aww, and speaking of death, confirmation that the Osha and Jecki vibes were really there. Just kill me. And I kind of love how Qimir phrases it, this idea that the Jedi she loves will never love her back the way that she wants them to, but also the twisty subtext there. Maybe this is me giving the show too much credit, but I got a lot of Sith-version of love "to love is to possess a person" vibes in the way he talked about that?

BUt ohhhhh nooooo ewww stupid sexy Qimir trying to s-seduce (?) Osha by being all sexy and funny and likeable and weirdly kind and not like a classic Sith. Pffffh. Yeah, he's going after the other twin now. Completely and totally expected. Oh, good. And now he's taking off his stupid shirt and his beautiful body is there in this dumb stupid scene. He loves to show off his awful muscles and handsome dumb face, as if anybody is interested in that. Presumably his dark side dong is out. Who would care about that? Not me, a scholar.

Whatever, who even cares about this show. CLEARLY I DO NOT

[killugon-truther]

hxh CAA gon rant/analysis

i honestly feel like some ppl judge gon a little too harshly when it comes to his actions in the CAA, specifically what he said to killua in ep. 116.

while i do agree he should apologize (which he did, offscreen and onscreen after killua teasingly mentioned it in ep. 147), i also don’t think that gon’s sole intention was to be cruel and dismissive towards killua.

i definitely agree that that was part of it, he was trying to be harsh in an effort to push killua away. but i do think that he was also trying to push away one of the last good things, the BEST thing, out of his life.

it’s behavior i’ve witnessed in other fictional media and even irl: being a dick in order to push away someone you rly love in order to continue sabotaging and destroying urself w/o them trying to help you. even more so, you can sometimes even see it as protecting your loved one from yourself and the situation at hand.

if there’s one person who can bring gon back from his own darkness or recklessness, it’s killua [ex: ep. 95 when gon literally almost kills morel & killua is able to swiftly snap him out of it]. he can (or at least could, at the time) bring gon back w just a simple touch and a few words, and gon knows that. it’s part of the reason he’s so grateful for killua in the first place— killua is always there for him, esp when he needs him.

but gon doesn’t want killua’s touch or his soothing words anymore, he doesn’t want his help, and he doesn’t want to be saved. and it definitely isn’t bc he doesn’t want killua anymore or doesn’t value him or his friendship, but bc he doesn’t believe he deserves it. he simply isn’t in the mindset to receive any kind of help in the slightest, not even from his closest ally.

gon subconsciously and consciously blames himself and only himself for kite’s death. and gon has shown that while he’s become comfortable and okay with the idea of killua sacrificing himself for him [ex: ep. 70, when both killua and gon are willing to sacrifice killua’s hands during the dodgeball game], he’s NOT okay w killua dying for him [ex: ep. 50, where killua vowed to serve as a distraction for gon to escape, and gon smacks him & seriously seriously tells him that HE’S allowed to talk abt dying like it means nothing like he also did earlier, but killua isn’t]; gon values killua’s life over his own.

gon’s combination of self-loathing and intense misplaced responsibility/guilt and thinking abt keeping killua safe so he can punish himself, while also being in that already very deteriorated mindset during the arc is what lead to those words. gon knew it would hurt, and that was the point.

“it has nothing to do w you” = “kite’s death has nothing to do w you. it was all my fault, so let me suffer for it now alone.”

if he’s at fault for kite dying, then why would he even deserve someone like killua still being at his side? why would killua deserve to be disposed to the same fate as him?

it’s what made me re-think pretty much every “thank you!” gon has given to killua; there seems to be moments of gon being so grateful bc he doesn’t entirely or always believe he deserves killua being at his side and having his back no matter what [ex: ep. 61 where gon felt guilt for killua having a spell on him, walking away from the ppl who could have possibly helped, & helping him in order to find his dad, thinking all of those things are his fault, and then thanks killua whole-heartedly right after: “killua… thanks. i’m glad you came with me. no- i’m glad i got to know you!”].

someone loves him, despite his selfishness (that’s not an insult btw !! all hxh characters can be selfish) and other faults. killua is still staying by his side, refusing to leave him no matter what. killua isn’t abandoning him (don’t even get me started on my belief of gon’s abandonment issues and how it affects his low self-esteem and self-loathing; his guilt often overrides his sense of self-preservation and triggers his black-and-white mindset).

and while i also doubt that gon was aware of the lovers’ suicide (“shinjiuu”) killua planned to commit w him (ep. 121) but if he did, then i can imagine that would influence in actions in pushing killua away even more. i think one of the last things gon would ever want killua to do is die for/w him; why would he, when killua’s life is sm more important to him?

i’ve actually seen how it’s become a pattern for gon to display moments of maturity, intelligence, and self-awareness, but for it to easily become glossed over and he then gets stereotyped as a one-dimensional, black-and-white character when i think he’s more complex than that.

it’s not that big of a deal ofc, but it’s just interesting to see some ppl come to conclusions such as “gon is a selfish monster and a terrible person who doesn’t care abt killua” or smth like that.

if u have any opinions, comments, and/or criticisms, pls let me know !! hope you enjoyed this.

[slayerkitty]

Voyeurism in Only Friends

In previous discussions of themes in Only Friends, we've discussed Voyeurism as something present in the show on both a textual and metatextual level a few times. @rabbiitte posted an amazing run down about Perception in OF, specifically with Mew and Top that got me thinking about other voyeuristic moments in this episode.

Here are the voyeuristic moments in episode 5:

Nick walks in on Sand and Ray in the kitchen

Mew and Top and walked in on Boston and Nick at the hostel pool

Nick and Boston walked in on Sand and Ray on the balcony

Boston revealed to Nick that a previous hookup tried to blackmail him with a sex tape (most of us are assuming it was Drake's character due to the camera pointed at the bed as pointed out by @plantsarepeopletoo)

Nick was clearly thinking about how he has the sex audio of Boston and Top even if it wasn't actually discussed aloud.

Boston admitted to photographing Ray and Mew making out

@rabbiitte's post about perception really made me want to examine the other voyeurism moments in the episode, because it all has to do with one of the couples being walked in on while attempting to have sex. The first thing I found interesting was that even though couples being walked in on seemed to be a theme of the episode, Mew and Top are the only couple who do not get walked in on and therefore, are the only couple who has sex in the episode (that we see onscreen. I kind of feel like Nick implies he and Boston might have finished what they started after Mew and Top left because he says that Boston usually bolts the minute they're done. There's that controlled voyeurism again).

It was also interesting to me where the characters were when they got walked in on. For a show that has put emphasis on the public nature of queer culture in the past, all of the couples were somewhere relatively private when they got walked in on. Sand and Ray were in the kitchen and then later the balcony. Boston and Nick were in a slightly more public place as they were outside, but they were in a location where no one else was supposed to be there but them. In fact, the one public sexy moment that Ray and Sand do have in the dressing room is their only sexy moment in the episode that is not interrupted in some way. Sand indulges Ray in some "assistance" changing his clothes but is mindful of where they are and stops. Ray is completely down to get dirty regardless, which is just another way in which they're different.

With regard to Boston's sex tape and sex audio, it seems very clear where we're going with this (especially with the return of Boston's Hookup aka Drake next episode). Nick is going to end up releasing the sex audio which will have far reaching implications, given that Boston's father is running for public office.

I found it really interesting that Boston admitted to photographing Ray and Mew kissing. I think this might be an indication that whatever else Boston "has" on his friends, he might start revealing it soon too (or it gets revealed in the fallout of Nick's reveal).

@lurkingshan suggested after episode three that surveillance would be what caused this friend group to implode, but I'll counter and say it's more than that. It's voyeurism. Voyeurism is going to make this group implode and we're all going to watch.

[lurkingshan]

Step by Step Episode 11 (OF DOOM)

Warning: I really, really did not like this episode. If you’re trying to keep positive vibes you should scroll on by, friends! 

Welp. I told a few friends last week that my biggest disappointment would be if, after missing the mark on the emotional payoff of the slow burn and speed running the relationship, the show chose to break them up and do a time jump rather than staying with them in the present time and working through the conflicts they set up. And here we are! I wish I’d been wrong about where this was heading. Shouts to @waitmyturtles and @neuroticbookworm for holding me down while this show fell apart on me, I’ve been all in a tizzy about it, because I really loved it for awhile there.

This episode, yet again, felt like a disjointed mess. After last week’s cliffhanger, the idea of Pat resigning to get away from the predatory office gossip fell away within a few quick scenes. Instead the tension disappeared as the plot brought them into a bubble with only their most supportive colleagues and we swerved into a retread of the Put nonsense and a new plot about Jeng and Pat fighting to save the digital marketing team via the power of Put’s quasi-celebrity and Instagram likes. Or something. I honestly couldn’t tell you the details of what they were trying to accomplish, I was too distracted by my incredulity to pay close attention to this very sudden fake problem that they were obviously going to conquer (that, my friends, is what we call conflict with no stakes). Meanwhile, the show suddenly wants me to care about Jaab and Jen again - enough to devote a big portion of the penultimate episode’s runtime to them, what a choice - after doing fuck all with that plot for six weeks. It’s a no from me. 

It doesn’t matter anyway, because soon enough we’re time skipping again! After resolving the work challenge subplot we speed past another three months of Pat and Jeng’s relationship without addressing any of their issues, and I guess I’m supposed to be at peace with being a full nine months into their relationship with no onscreen emotional advancement? But I gotta be honest, y’all. I am not. You just don’t do this with a slow burn romance narrative. You can’t spend 80% of your runtime building to something that you have no intention of paying off, and no amount of thinking about what else this show is trying to say is going to convince me they did proper justice to the relationship. I already broke down why I didn’t think the episode 10 culmination got us there, and nothing that happened in this episode changed my opinion.

And all of this is leading to yet another time jump - two entire years this time - after the big reveal that Jeng doesn’t believe in Pat at all and literally bought his success, Evil Daddy knew it all along and waited for a choice moment to deploy the info for maximum damage while twirling his villain mustache, and Pat is finally quitting for real and dumping Jeng for good measure.

And ya know what? GOOD FOR PAT. I was completely on his side in this decision. If there’s one bright spot in this episode (other than Chot, always Chot) it’s Pat getting himself together enough to realize he deserves better than the bullshit he’s been getting from Put and Jeng and walking on out. So Jeng and Pat are now broken up, but I never got invested in their relationship in the first place, because we barely saw it, let alone got the chance to live in and feel it. I wasn’t even upset while watching this breakup scene - it left me emotionally indifferent. Which is maybe the worst thing I can say about a dramatic climax in a story.

I guess next week we’ll meet Jeng and Pat again two years in the future and get some kind of happy ending. I’m gonna stick around for the finale and cross my fingers that we get all the epilogue fluff we have definitely earned, but sadly, this show has lost me.

[thelifeofchuckmovie]

Mike Flanagan reveals one major change coming to his adaptation of Stephen King's story The Life of Chuck, explaining why he chose to alter one particular part of the story. The novella, part of King's 2020 collection If It Bleeds, follows the story of its titular character told backwards, from the moment of his death to when he was a child in a seemingly haunted house. The upcoming The Life of Chuck movie aims to maintain faithfulness to the original story, indicative of what to expect from the horror filmmaker's adaptation.

(Spoilers below)

However, speaking with Talking Scared, Flanagan revealed that one key change in The Life of Chuck has to do with the people in Chuck's head who are facing the end of the world. When asked about Chuck's imagination and its impact on the story, the horror filmmaker explains how, instead of being random, fictional people in his mind, the movie will see these figures as representing real people the main character meets throughout his life. Check out what Flanagan had to say about this significant change below:

I don't think it does. And I felt that way on both sides of it, because when you're first watching the movie, you don't necessarily know that. That's a revelation, if you've not read the story, the movie will reveal that to you in time. But if you do know that, I don't think it changes it at all, because the emotions the characters are going through are so honest and relateable. And we've made a couple little clever changes to kind of make it so that these characters don't only exist in this imagined realm. That they're all echoes of very real people who existed in the real world who Chuck encountered throughout his life. That's one of the big changes we made to this story was that the people you meet at the beginning, you see them again as Chuck encounters them throughout his life, and you can see how and why he pulled them into his imagination, and how they continue to exist in his mind even after the real people have moved on, in one way or another. And so that's one of the very few changes we made for the film. It seemed like a real cool opportunity to do something like that.

Why Flanagan’s Life Of Chuck Change Is Perfect For The Big Screen

Flanagan Is The Perfect Director For The King Adaptation

In King’s original version of The Life of Chuck, part of the story involves an imaginary character named Marty, whose perspective becomes the one the audience follows as his world comes to an end. At first, it’s unclear that this is part of Chuck’s fantasy world, later revealed to be so as the story progresses. While this level of mystery is still going to be present in Flanagan’s adaptation, it’s clear from his plans that his take will blend reality and fiction much more closely than the original novella did.

Despite this change for the adaptation, the director’s alteration of what Chuck’s imaginary world means will work perfectly for its big screen rendition. Flanagan’s movies and TV shows have always toyed with the idea of reality and fantasy blending together, with characters who consistently embody both notions of their respective stories. Having the imaginary world reflect reality maintains consistency with his other work, while also giving King’s story an added layer of meaning onscreen.

Mike Flanagan's next project, The Life of Chuck, is the perfect chance to revive an old Stephen King tradition and break another trend.

This reflection of reality also adds a new layer of mystery depending on how The Life of Chuck's story gets presented. Perhaps it will maintain vagueness about why certain characters appear to be acting in different ways, unraveling the imaginary world in the protagonist's head by making it unclear what's real and what isn't until the very end. This could make the film highly rewatchable too, as layered clues reveal the truth behind the story unfolding.

The Life of Chuck premieres at the Toronto International Film Festival in September 2024.

[13eyond13]

Hello, can I ask from this ask game :

https://www.tumblr.com/threecheersforinking/677824836625694720/anime-ask-game?source=share

For anime/manga : Death Note and Berserk.

Thanks 🌻

Hi! Sure thing:

DEATH NOTE:

Favorite Character: L was basically a "love at first sight" situation for me and the main reason I ever checked out the anime (I just really loved eccentric loner sad boys at the time and he just looked exactly up my alley at a glance, hahaha). And he has stayed extremely dear to me and my favourite cartoon guy ever basically since! I actually think Light is a bit more of a complicated/interesting character than L is to think about in-depth, and has become also kind of my favourite one in the series in a different way over time, but L is def the one that I was really obsessed with from the start.

Favorite Arc/Episode/Scene: I love everything up until the Yotsuba arc the most I think, I just find it so much fun in the beginning of the story when everything is so well-written and so exciting and tense and fast-paced. The university arc stuff MIGHT be the part that I just find the most fun and funny in the way that Death Note is known to be, with all the detailed little mind games and bitch moves and shocking reveals every other page, ahahah. I remember laughing out loud so many times during that section of the story just due to how ridiculous it gets and how often everyone is pulling the rug out from under each other nearly constantly.

And my favourite scene is probably the "first ever friend" scene in the manga. I WILL NEVER STOP THINKING ABOUT IT it's just so funny and mysterious and intriguing and layered to me

Character I Think is Underrated: Mikami is fairly underrated, but at the same time I myself am not the best at intuitively understanding him or creating content about him either...

Character I Think is Overrated: Matt (sorry I actually like him in the manga, but I just don't think he's that interesting really)

Favorite Ship/Pairing: Lawlight! I never needed much convincing about this.... I went straight from watching the anime to going "omg they should have kissed..."

Something I Love About the Show/Movie: The anime's audio elements are just so iconic and so good a lot of the time! It makes some of the manga scenes SO MUCH better just with stuff like the gregorian chanting while Light's writing the names. And no lie, it's really easy to follow as a story without even seeing what's happening onscreen, too. I used to listen to the English dub while drawing or doing my work sometimes and it felt almost exactly like an audio play.

-

BERSERK:

Favorite Character: Guts is by far my favourite! Which was a total surprise to me, because I thought he was going to be a pretty boring macho action hero cardboard cutout type guy going in. I got very attached to him while reading the manga after a few volumes, and now he's one of my all-time faves...

Favorite Arc/Episode/Scene: I'm going to be very basic and say The Golden Age, but IT'S JUST REALLY GOOD OKAY. It's better than good, it's the reason the series went from just "ok this is pretty interesting" to "OMG WTF THIS IS SO GOOD I'M SO INVESTED NOW"

And my favourite scene?? Hmm.... extremely hard question, but I feel like the sword fights between Guts and Griffith are definitely some of the peak moments. Their first one is iconic in so many ways, but the second one in the snow really got me in the feels and made my stomach drop and my heart beat a bit faster as well!

Character I Think is Underrated: I feel like Casca is just kinda hard to talk about with other fans. She's my second favourite character in the series, but I feel like it's just really difficult to discuss her without it just getting either depressing or into too sensitive territory or something? I love her dearly in the manga, but the fandom space here seems only much fun to talk about Guts and Griffith in for me

Character I Think is Overrated: I am not THAT well-versed in who is overrated or underrated in this fandom, but I feel like mostly almost all the characters aside from maybe Griffith and Guts are a bit underrated and under-explored in fan stuff that I've seen? That might be entirely on me and the fact that I'm mostly looking at griffguts stuff, though...

Favorite Ship/Pairing: griffguts drives so much of the angst and the drama and I think is basically canon to me at this point... I don't think it's hard to interpret Griffith as in love with Guts, but I also think Guts is in love with Griffith too in just a more furtive sort of way

Something I Love About the Show/Movie:

I only partially watched the 1997 anime so far, and the Guts theme song in it is so good! My god that's still such a good fitting song for him and his personality somehow. And I'd never actually heard it before I read the series either!

[thecameronchronicles]

Nobody Has To Know

TW: fem!Reader x Madelyn. Smut. Language. Cheating. 

Summary:  Madelyn makes a move on you after a fith with Drew.

WORD COUNT: 1500

REQUESTED:

Drew dating reader who is also his love interest in the obx and Madelyn has a crush on her and one day they kind of argue on set but it’s not that big of a deal but Madelyn convinced reader to cheat on drew with her ? 

*HEY I WASN'T SURE IF YOU MEANT THAT DREW AND READER GOT INTO A FIGHT OR HER AND MADELYN, AND SO I KINDA DECIDED ON MY OWN. HOPE YOU STILL LIKE IT! 

Nobody Has To Know 

You were always one to harbor a curious mind as well as pushing limits and boundaries. It was one of the many things he loved about you, and it was also what landed you the role to play Rafe's onscreen love interest, and yet, it was also a means for your arguments. Jokes taken too far or moments in which your maturity would be tweaked to fit the role of peer pressure or some pointless dare. The most recent having been showing up to work a bit too hungover from the night before. Usually a professional, you had allowed Chase and Austin to convince you of one too many shots as Carlacia and Madison had taken you to the dance floor to garner the attention of everyone. 

Including her. 

Especially her. 

The memory of the way your body moved and the dress followed each and every sway has set her teeth to sink into her bottom lip at the thought of joining you. But you were friends. Not to mention dating a shared friend, someone she considered to be family. But the crush she had developed on you over the last few months of filming was enough to be noticed by people like Jonathan and Madison as they consoled her when she was affected by your presence. But she would always remain a friend first. 

At least she planned to... 

"I'm not doing this right now..." Drew said with a sigh.. "I hope last night was worth it...Let me go cover your ass for Jonas...Just try to go...sober up somewhere..." He spoke to you, more disappointed as he left you in the makeup trailer as you waited for your designated artist. But upon doing so, you were left with guilt. Drew was a perfect boyfriend for so many reasons. But where he knew the limitations of his excesses, you had a tendency to go overboard. You were a wild spirit reined by his more conservative lifestyle. Sure, he could party and be the life of the party for any instance, but when embarrassed, he could become almost parental. 

"You alright?" Madelyn asked as the door closed behind her, her mouth cocked to the side as she analyzed you. Shades covering your tired eyes, despite the fact you were in a dimly lit trailer whose mirror light was kept off for the time being, hair set in a messy bun from having overslept, and the groan that left your throat having left your lips in such a way that prompted the understanding of you enduring the consequences from the night before. 

"I'm sure whatever he said..." 

You sniffle, having begun to cry since he left. 

"What did he say?" Her demeanor changed, now immediately upset at Drew for making you shed tears.

"I just feel like I always let him down...He is so sweet and he looks out for me...but I always feel like I'm a step beneath him or something. Like he has to babysit me..." 

"You have a right to live your life though...I mean, do you think about not being with him?" She asked, forcing her excitement to shallow behind her concern. 

"Sometimes...Oh my God..I'm too hungover, Drew is so good..." 

"Is he what you want though? I mean you can love someone and they still might not fulfill you. I mean I could eat salad all day, its good for you and everything, but I'm always gonna want something sweet..." Her eyes flashed to you in a way you hadn't noticed. Her usual sultry eyes, a statement of hers along with those full lips pulled in a natural pout when content, had darkened with lust. This was the closest she had come to confessing how she felt for you. But now she was closer to acting on it then just stating it. 

"Do you ever think about anyone else?" 

The truth was, you thought about everyone. You found everyone attractive. Their personalities meant more than the genetics making up their gender. It was a problem as it caused for many flirtations to be misinterpreted. But it was simply how you were. Curious. Adventurous. Anything but judgemental. Which was why Drew's words were so painful as they probably shouldn't have been. Maybe because a part of him was right. 

"Sometimes..." You confessed. 

"Ever think about me?" Her fingers traced yours on the table as you caught her eyes in the reflection. She always made you the kind of nervous you get before the drop of a Rollercoaster. Maybe because she was effortless and talented, not to mention caring and sweet. And even if looks were something that was a mere addition, you couldn't help but notice how gorgeous she was. 

"I think about you..." Her words threw you off. You have only ever seen her spend her time with other guys. Nit that she was an option anyhow as Drew was your boyfriend. Her friend. YOUR boyfriend. But as she moved closer, her perfume, her voice, and her overall aesthetic had wrapped you around her completely. 

"Way more than I should..." Her fingers played with your hair until her fingers fell to your neck. Her touch was immediate fire against your chilled skin, the rush if what was forbidden having sent hour eyes to a close to bask. 

"What-what do you think about?" 

"I don't know I should tell you...I don't want you to look at me differently...for our friendship to change..." 

"I...I wanna know." You turned to face her as she lowered to you, on her knees, as her hands ran slowly up your thighs, teasing beneath your skirt. 

"They are the kind of thoughts that make me...wet..." Her eyes flashed up to you as she watched your reaction. "Do you have the same?" 

You slowly nodded, her face illuminating. "But Drew..." 

"We aren't doing anything wrong...we're just talking..." 

"Maddy..." 

"There's nothing wrong with talking, right?" You watched her bite her bottom lip as you shook your head. 

"So I usually think of your lips...they always seem so soft..." She reached to them, your eyes fighting to remain open as you were tempted to take them into a suck. 

"And you have the prettiest breasts I've ever seen...I just want to feel how soft and warm they are...make your nipples all hard with my teeth..." 

"Oh my God..." 

"And your thighs...the things I want to do between your thighs...I could make you feel as good...better than him because I know exactly what would make you feel good-" Her thumbs were at your clothed clit, her words having distracted you enough to make this motion, as you gasped. 

"Madelyn-" 

"I want to know how sweet you are." She dipped her finger into your panties, before taking you to her lips. 

"We can't..." You looked to the door of the trailer as she moved to the lock, twisting it closed, before returning to you. 

"I know we should, but I'm so wet for you...my panties are soaked through..." She pulled you to your feet as you would feel her, "See? I'm throbbing for you...I'd come so fast for you...but I'd take my time with you..." She ghosted your lips as you slowly nodded. 

"Yeah?" 

"Oh my God.." He moaned as you began to rub against her, basking on how she sounded because of you. 

"Oh my God!" She spoke again, this time with a smile. 

"Madelyn..." 

"Please don't stop. Oh my God..." Her hand came to your breast as she slid beneath the fabric before you heard the door of the trailer tried from the outside. 

"Please." She wrapped her hand tighter around your wrist while her second hand drove between your own legs. 

"I don't want to hurt him-" You breathed quickly as she used her hand to your face, leading you to her lips. 

"Nobody has to know...this will stay...just...between...us..." She pulled apart between the kiss, a thumb to your clit motioning for you to copy. 

"How wet you are...how good I'm making you feel...how you're gonna make me come...all of it will stay between us..." As you tried to rationalize the reality of this, you found the rush of an orgasm silencing you. 

"Fuck-" She spoke almost silently, a word you'd heard her say a million times, but never like this. Never this breathless or beautiful. Nit because of you. It was enough to prompt your own release as it came to the surface. 

"I wanted to take my time touching you...pulling those sweet moans from you...But at least I know how good you feel clenching around my fingers baby..." She sucked you off of her fingers as another knock came to the door. 

"Madelyn..." 

"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone else how sweet you are. Our little secret." She gave one final kiss before leaving you to fathom what you'd just done. 

Taglist: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4starkey @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @obxxrxfes @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @rafesbae @camilynn @bethoconnor

[castlebyersafterdark]

ok random thought. does anyone worry that we might get byler and a byler kiss or two and it might end up being… weird? weird in that we’ve watched these two actors grow up since being kids and yea we have shipped their characters but like actually seeing these grown now actors kissing after all these years after literally watching them growing up together might be different??? like awk or strange for some of us since most actors on shows we don’t grow up with them? idk if I am explaining it right lol. And like realistically I know finn and noah are good actors who have good chemistry and the show won’t let us down with the direction etc, but sometimes I am like… yea f/n have great chemistry and have been super cute over the years but it’s like there’s a block in my brain about how I might process them actually kissing as mike/will in the show? like i’m worried i might wait and be excited for byler to happen and then it happens and they kiss and I should be happy but instead im like….. oh. cause it feels weird to me or like what if god forbid the chemistry doesn’t lend itself to a good romantic kiss onscreen!!! I feel like I am overthinking lol but … does this make any sense lol

Have to be honest, I don’t really have this doubt! I fully believe Finn and Noah will deliver. I think the chemistry is so there, I think they want to do this, do this right. Here's one vision: imagine they're filming it, they've only blocked it so far in rehearsal, the first kiss is to really be the first kiss just to keep big moments for authentic filming. The first attempt is odd, they're kind of laughing a little as they go for it, angle was weird. Both end up just kinda laughing against each other's mouth before one pulls back fast. Tries to reset. Be serious. Then it happens again. After a few failed takes one of them asks to pause for a moment and they step away, a chat between the two actors. The closeness these two have from all these years, imagine one of them just talking soft like "Hey, hey. Slow down with me. We can do this." Finn really becomes Mike, with his gentle reassurances. Noah going serious, calm, looking up at him while he nods his head. They do another take. This is the one, or at least the first of the round of really good, authentic takes of the kiss. They flip a switch and they embody the characters. That initial take is the one the filmmakers go with, but they still do a few more. Just in case. Just one more. And one more. 😉

I don't see either of them complaining and saying "this is too weird" like the HP actors who probably took one awkward take and then said please just use it so we don't have to do that again haha. Maybe we do project other reasons onto F/N but it's not all that. They have actual chemistry on the show. We've seen it. So we'll be able to witness a kiss with actual chemistry as well. I very much trust them.

And I'm very firmly in the camp that I don't really put much personal stock in the "we watched them grow up" mindset as a detractors to make it weird. Because that's just it, they grew up. We're at a different place now. I don't look at every adult and think of them immediately as a kid, even if I'm familiar with them also younger. Irl and celebs. Just not how I view things because it's all a journey but watching the journey, here we are. I just don't think its fair to not afford the actors and the characters the full extend of the journey and life to say they'll always be those little kids we met in season one. Negates the story, the growth, the beauty of observing a fulfilled life, what they've worked towards. Its really nice we've gotten to observe and experience this with them.

[phiclets]

loud heart WORD COUNT: 1500 | RATING: T

summary: the orange heart reply was a cultural moment; this is my vision of what might have led up to dan posting it.

a/n: i posted this on AO3 a couple days ago, but had to wait till tumblr verified i wasn't a robot to crosspost here. from now on all my fics will be available in both places!

ALSO ON AO3

-

Dan knew what the response to We're All Doomed (now uploaded onto Youtube, forever) was going to be, even before he started scrolling through the comments and the tweets. He'd been doing the show long enough. Yet still, knowing it didn't prepare him for it emotionally. The kindness of people was overwhelming; the gratitude even more so.

He flits between social media platforms on his phone, reading the reviews and battling unsuccessfully against the growing lump in his throat, even as a recorded version of his voice says, "Anyone here planning on becoming a polyamorous lesbian grandma?" from the TV. Phil put the special on earlier — very proudly accessing it from the YouTube TV app, which made Dan smile — and they're letting it play in the background as they sit with their respective phones, having seen the show too many times already to totally invest in it again. But it's nice. Comforting.

Raucous cheers erupt from the sea of future polyamorous lesbian grandmas in the audience, and Dan glances up at the TV with a smile. He loves this part. He loved that audience, both nights—and the wider group of people that they represented. "Nice," he says onscreen, which elicits some laughter.

A bright little ding! drags his attention back to his phone.

New tweet from Phil Lester.

It's natural for him to glance over to the man himself, curled up just an arm's length away from him. Phil is fiddling serenely with his phone, but looks up when he feels Dan staring. When Dan raises an eyebrow, Phil only responds with a shrug, smiling.

Dan obediently opens the tweet to see for himself.

every time i see this it makes me laugh and cry at the same time until i'm a shaking mess on the floor. great show thanks danny!!

Phil has quoted Dan's original announcement tweet, so the endorsement sits on top of Dan's name, glowing with pride. A few things happen at once in Dan then. First, there's the impulse to snort at the nickname danny, which is Phil being silly (and succeeding at it, as he always does). Then there's the warmth that suffuses his entire chest from Phil Lester openly expressing his emotions for Dan's sake on a public platform, an occurrence so rare it still shocks (and essentially assaults) Dan whenever it happens. Then, from that warmth, comes the immediate, overwhelming, not so inexplicable urge to sob his lungs out.

"Fuck," he whispers, so quietly it's only a breath, and quickly smothers it in the sleeve of his jumper, turning away from Phil's side of the sofa.

Because it's all so familiar. Because he's been here before—so many times. Reeling from the adrenaline of releasing a project he poured his heart and soul—or at the very least, a lot of his time—into. Anxious about and then overjoyed by the response to it. But no matter what it was, whether Basically I'm Gay, or Why I Quit YouTube, or fuck, even Hello Internet—

Phil has been there.

Phil is always there. Always here—he thinks, looking over at him finally—next to him. In his life. (Hadn't he said that to everyone on the internet before? Hadn't he thought it was so cheesy back then, and yet regretted nothing, because there hadn't been a single lie in what he'd said?) Phil sits in ignorant bliss on the other end of the sofa, tucked up against the armrest, tapping at something on his phone. His hair is turning more ginger by the day. His face has faint lines in it that Dan has seen appear, firsthand and little by little, over the past decade and a half. His emoji pyjama pants are a hate crime on fashion.

He's everything. He's there.

"Dan."

Dan comes back to himself, and he realises Phil is looking at him now, questions displayed openly on his face. Dan can't really read any of them, though—the fucking oceans of saltwater that have built up in his eyes are doing a brilliant job of preventing that. He shakes his head, and Phil's face sinks further into concern rather than confusion, and Dan shakes his head again to tell him no, it's not bad. It can never be bad when it's you.

Instead all he manages to say, now half nodding and shaking his head—it's a mess—is, "I love you."

He's never meant it more. He's always meant it just as much as now. He thinks he'll never really know, even in himself, what that word really means or where the limits lie—if there are any. What he does know is that he's going to spend the rest of his life growing to fit every bit of it he can. Phil takes his hand where it rests on the sofa between them, and Dan knows there was never any two ways about it.

"Yeah," Phil says. He's so solid. (So there. Always.) He looks Dan in the eyes, shakes his hand back and forth. "I love you."

The first spill of tears warms Dan's cheeks. He nods, looking down at their hands, then back up at Phil. He knows his mouth is doing something funny, squeezed up tight like he's just bit into a lemon, and there are tears already seeping in through the corners, and by the time he barely breathes out a, "Thank you," he's already diving into Phil, grabbing him up into a messy, breath-robbing hug. He can hear it in Phil's little gasp. But there's not a moment of hesitation between that and the feeling of Phil's arms wrapping around him, tight as ever. Assuring as ever.

"Thank you," Dan says again. And he hopes Phil knows he means for everything. For seeing him in the replies of his tweets in 2009, and for responding. For urging him to post the worst video Dan would ever make, which would confusingly also be his best one, because it would be the one that started it all. For having so much fun with him and helping him build a career out of it. For supporting him (15 years' worth of "great show thanks danny!" variations). For believing in him. For loving him, really, most of all.

Phil pushes his cheek into the top of Dan's head, and smooths his hand over Dan's hair again and again, and says, "Always."

Yeah, he understood.

-

By the time Dan has collected himself, enough time has passed that it would be embarrassing if he had even a shred of embarrassment left to show around Phil Lester, but he thinks that died somewhere around the decade mark.

They're still all caught up in each other, more one human than two, a blanket monster that's made its home against the tiniest corner of a perfectly sizeable sofa. We're All Doomed is well into its final quarter on the TV now, and they're sort of staring past it into the wall and the world and the future beyond. Phil's fingers are still in Dan's hair; which is just the way he wants to keep it.

Except that's when Dan remembers the thing that started his descent into incomprehension in the first place, and he briefly—with enough warning to Phil—sits up to get his phone from his previous spot on the sofa. He settles back into Phil with it in hand, so Phil has a clear view of the screen over his shoulder, and pulls up the tweet again. He scrolls down and taps on the waiting reply line, then stops.

How to say everything he just said to Phil, verbally and otherwise? (Mostly otherwise, let's be honest.) The task seems insurmountable. There aren't enough words in the dictionary, or hours in the day to use them. He can feel Phil's quiet expectance over his shoulder, steady but not applying any pressure. He'll wait for Dan as long as he needs him too.

But it doesn't take long. Because hey, Dan may be a self-professed yapper extraordinaire, but even he knows when the game is up. In this case there's just no use.

He pulls up the list of emojis, and taps on one.

Just one.

Then he waits, holding the phone just there, letting Phil see it and understand that that's it. All he wants to say. (Maybe all he's ever trying to say, to Phil.)

It's a heart.

(Orange, of course, because it's still about WAD.)

But just a heart.

Dan twists his head against Phil's shoulder to look up at him. "What d'you think?"

Phil is still looking ahead at the screen, and Dan watches the microscopic changes in expression on his face, from the softening of his wide eyes to the way his mouth gently relaxes into a smile. He looks down at Dan—Dan thinks, beautiful, mine—and says, "Yeah." Dan feels Phil's arm squeeze him around his stomach. "Do it."

So he does.

[mineonmain]

Thai QL Favorites Tag Game

Tagged by @telomeke ^u^ slay

Credit: this game was created by @thatgirl4815 as Thai BL Favorites Tag Game.

Favorite Thai QL: Bad Buddy was my first and probably till date my fav. What a way to start. Very few BLs overall have lived up to the unreal standard that this show set, and no matter what all has happened IRL since the airing of the show, this show has a place in my heart that nothing is going to ever replace. It's the show that revived my love and passion for TV shows after years. This show (ep 5 4/4 👀) changed my brain chemistry, without exaggeration. P'Aof i'm chewing on your furniture until you pay for my therapy. [Other favs are MLC, ATOTS, UWMA, Between Us, MSP]

Favorite Pairing: I guess i'll talk about actor pairings but onscreen, not how they are offscreen. EarthMix is absolutely one of my favs, they bring a maturity, natural-ness, and intensity to their acting that I've rarely found in other GMMTV pairings. I'm also gonna mention FourthGem because they're the GMM young blood and I think they've got an incredible amount of potential. We've already seen their range in MLC and MSP, and I think they're going to be huge. I have a huge soft spot for BounPrem (but I may be biased lol), and this may be a lukewarm take but I really enjoyed BillySeng, I thought they had some incredible onscreen chemistry.

Most underrated actor: Oh jeez where do I start. Gotta mention Fourth - he's not really underrated but he's just starting out, but I can already see he's got the chops and with the right training and right directors he's absolutely Going Placed. Shout out to Fluke Natouch, that boy does emotional scenes like no one else. Special shoutout to Tonnam - he's supposed to be starring in his first BL as a main character this year, idk if that's still on schedule or not, but every character he's ever played so far has been a hit in my book. His comedic timing is unparalleled for me, it never fails to hit.

Favorite Character: How do I choose!! Pat Napat is so dear to me??? As is Ae from LBC???? Tutor from Why R U???? Team from Between Us?? I've got so many different little blorbos it's impossible to choose. They're all pocket sized to me. Making me choose is a crime.

Favorite Side Character: Idk why but the first one that comes to mind is View from Between Us. He's absolutely Little Bro, but he's also so sweet and genuine and full of love??? He's annoying bc all little brothers are genetically coded to be annoying but he's impossible not to love. His smile is healing. You can't take him away from me.

Favorite scene in a QL: Bad Buddy Ep 5 4/4. This was the scene that actually broke me. The lead up to the scene, the subtle but deliberate choices that both the characters made. Pat gritting himself to go talk to Pran bc if there's one thing he doesn't do it's avoid people and situations. Pran resigning himself to the conversation bc he can't avoid it any longer. Pat finally saying exactly how he's been feeling less than a business day after he had the realisation himself, bc the moment he feels something and decides it he has to act on it. The music swelling in the background. Pran realising that he's been projecting his fears onto Pat this entire time, that Pat has always feel differently about him too. Pran asking the question to break it all, wording in one way where he was expecting one kind of answer, not expecting that it would be interpreted in an entirely different way and would rock the foundation of their already teetering relationship. Pran asking if they want to be friends, because the alternative would be to be enemies. Pat hearing 'do you want to be only friends', and realising that that would never be enough for the both of them. Pat seeing that Pran is scared, and realising that he has to have courage enough for the both of them. Pat taking the deepest and shakiest breath of his life, swallowing down his fear and trepidation, voice trembling saying 'no'. This is the scariest thing that Pat has ever had to do, but how he'd rather do this than lose Pran again. Them both taking a step towards each other, because this is a decision not of one but of equals, mutual as they have always been. Pat treating this like his first kiss, like a relief of finally knowing the answer to a question that has long plagued him, like the start of something, going into it with utter joy and coming out of it with complete bliss, because the world finally makes sense. Pran treating this like his last kiss, like the end of everything they had ever been or ever could be, like he was going to milk this for everything it was worth because he was never going to get a chance to do this ever again, going into it with fear and desperation, and coming out of it with heartache and resignation, because they had lost everything they had and couldn't get it back. Pat crying tears of joy because he finally found what he was looking for, and Pran crying tears of pain because he got to experience for the first and last time what he would never be allowed to have but had longed for all of his life. Yeah I'm so normal about this show.

Favorite line in a QL: I mean. I literally said it all above, but yeah. 'If we're not enemies, could we be friends?' 'Do you want to be friends?' 'No.'

Most Anticipated QL (& why): I don't honestly know?? But I do wanna see the Thai remake of Cherry Magic, I'm interested in seeing how they're gonna treat it differently from the source show, esp since Thai shows have a tendency to bit more high heat and the original show was all about the tenderness of falling for someone because of their goodness.

Healthiest relationship in a QL: oooh i gotta go for TinnGun from MSP, they're just so lovable. Yes it's a highschool relationship but it was presented so sweetly without coming across as childish, and my boy Tinn is the ultimate green flag. Also even tho I'm not personally a SaifahZon fan (they're not my cup of tea) I think they're incredibly healthy.

Most toxic relationship in a QL: TharnType (i'm mostly looking at you Tharn), most of the KP pairings (the T in Theerapanyakuls stands for needs Therapy), early RainPhayu (i'm sorry but pigtail-pulling on the playground to show you like someone is very kindergarten behavior Phayu), LianKuea (go ahead girlbosses who gaslight and gatekeep).

Guilty pleasure series: I honestly don't know if anything I like counts as a guilty pleasure. Maybe SCOY?? Because I know there's a lot of people who don't like it and find it cringe but I think they're all kind of missing the point. I could write a mini-essay about this show too but i'll save that for another day.

Most underrated series: Ingredients (Baby Jeff!!), My Only 12% (It absolutely deserved more love and hype).

Tagging: @antisocial-burrito @liyazaki @webetterlove @bisexualhedgehog @shortpplfedup @whatisgodtoanonbeliever @onstoryladders @respectthepetty @heesulovebot @gunsatthaphan @incandescentflower @rythyme @elevatormusic @vegaspetesupremicy

[martianbugsbunny]

Locked In This Embrace (An Espionage Husbands Fic)

*Shapeshifts from being a filing cabinet* So funny story, this started out as like, a good old fashioned scene rewrite fic where I just thieved the dialogue from the show itself and added some inner monologue and of course my own twist at the end bc otherwise what's the point? and OF COURSE the scene I picked was the forehead touch scene between Nick and Talos, I'm obsessed with it. It was supposed to be basically just that scene plus a romantic end, real short and sweet.

It kind of got away from me and consumed several hours of my life. I analyzed the scene itself so a lot of the gestures Talos makes in the fic are actually what he was doing onscreen. His inner monologue is matched to the canon gestures/facial expressions and I swear on the ship it works so well he could actually be thinking that stuff in canon. At this point half or less of the fic is the actual scene rewrite, that's how much of my own material I added.

...and yes, the title is derived from a post I made earlier about this exact scene. It's maybe not the best title but that's my weak spot so that's how it is.

Here's my offering to the blorbo gods and the Espionage Husbands fandom, read on and enjoy!

“I am so sorry,” Fury said.

“Me too,” Talos replied, his voice low. He savored the feeling of Furys forehead pressed against his, sharing space, breathing the same air; he had lost one love, but the other lived, and the fact that Fury cared enough to meet him with a Skrull embrace rather than a Human one returned a bit of the warmth to his heart that he had lost when Soren died. “Soren loved you,” he said. It felt right to remind Fury of that—Fury, who had cared for her almost as much as Talos had.

“But she worried, mate,” he went on (he was never quite sure if he was using that word in the Human context of "friend" or in the Skrull one of "partner"), “That it would take something like this to bring you back to Earth.”

Fury pulled away to look Talos in the eyes. “I guess she was right,” Talos finished.

For a moment, Fury said nothing. Talos wondered if he knew that the word ‘Earth’ was never the one that he or Soren had used when worrying over Fury’s absence from their lives. Talos remembered her saying, only a few days before she died, “I’m afraid of what it will take to bring him back to us.”

But Fury didn’t know that.

He cupped his hands around Talos’s face for a brief moment; far too little time, yet so precious, and then let go and sighed heavily. “Tell me about Gravik,” he said, and Talos tried not to let it show in his face how horribly heartbroken he was that Fury could move on from such a personal moment so quickly. Fury was back for Earth, not for…well, now it was just him. Even if he did feel for Talos the way Talos did for him, which Talos had never been able to decipher or been bold enough to ask, there were more important things to do than trying to determine where the two of them stood.

And still…Talos was never one to let things go. “Let’s just talk about you first,” he suggested. “We’ve been helping you for all these years, to ensure that you kept your promise. But after the Blip…you were different.” Life during those five years had been a nightmare for Talos, even though he had survived. It was terribly complicated, being grateful that his wife and daughter had been spared, and yet grieving the loss of Nick like the loss of his soul. If he hadn’t had Soren to lean on, Talos hated to think of how completely the darkness would have enveloped him.

“You disappeared.” That was the final pang. After all the agony of the Blip, Fury had been returned to life and Talos had, for a moment, hoped he could finally ask, once and for all, where their relationship truly stood. And then—he was gone. Settled in space, almost as lost to Talos as he had been when he was dead.

“Carol Danvers disappeared,” Talos said. She, like Fury, was supposed to be helping the Skrulls find a home. He was less angry at her, though, because she wasn’t Fury. She didn’t occupy that same space in his heart. “And—so did G’iah.”

Fury turned to him. “Your daughter disappeared? To where?”

“She was young. Angry that our people still don’t have a home.” G’iah was the one person he loved more than Fury, and Talos didn’t hesitate to defend her to him, even though he was utterly disappointed in her decisions. But like he said, G’iah wasn’t evil. A lot of rebel Skrulls weren’t. Just angry.

“Many of them were upset. I got kicked off the Council, pushed into exile, but Gravik—Gravik, mate, he took your abandonment—” Talos couldn’t quite look Fury in the eyes where he said that word—“that much harder.”

When they went back downstairs so Maria Hill could brief Fury on the rebel Skrulls, Talos tried not to read too much into it that Fury sat next to her, on the complete opposite end of the table from himself. She was, after all, the closest friend Fury had.

He also hated that, as the only Skrull at the table, it was his job to break the news to Fury just how precarious the Gravik situation was. “We brought you here for a reason,” he said. A far heftier one than my broken heart, he reminded himself, realizing that it was probably about to get a lot more cracked. “If he succeeds…your species will cease to exist.”

Fury stood up abruptly, pushing his chair back from the table. “Shit,” he muttered. “I’m going for a walk.”

“You’re going for a walk—in Moscow, at night?—You’re gonna stand out.” Even if he couldn’t meet Fury’s gaze, Talos couldn’t resist the urge to warn him off from getting hurt.

And then just like that he was gone.

Talos stared at Maria across the table. He didn’t care that his expression was probably giving away how he was feeling—he wasn’t even sure what label to put on it, so why should he bother to hide it?

“He loves you, you know,” she said, after a drawn-out moment of silence. “When I told him I was calling at your request…well, his tone changed awful quickly.”

That was the call where not only had Fury been summoned back to Earth, he had also learned of Soren’s death. Talos had insisted Maria tell him; the wound was too fresh, and he hadn’t wanted the first time he saw Nick after all those years to be a moment for breaking bad news.

“I’m not so sure,” Talos answered. He got up to look through the fridge—he didn’t truly like a lot of human food, but there were some fruits that tasted nearly identical to Skrull produce, and he kept a stock of them whenever possible. He pulled out a half-eaten can of lychees and a fork from the silverware drawer. “He left.”

Maria followed him to the kitchen area, leaning against the small counter. “The Blip hurt everyone, Talos. The rest of the world may not think so, but you and I know that he’s only human. He needed the time away.”

“He could have spent it with us.” “Why are you so hung up on that? I know you missed him—”

“Missed him?” Talos shoved the can to the side and turned towards Maria. “If you can say that lungs would ‘miss’ oxygen or that veins would ‘miss’ blood, then yeah. I missed him.” He buried his head in his hands. “It wasn’t just those five years, Maria. For decades I’ve wondered if he loved me, always too afraid to hear that answer was no to even ask, always sure that if he felt so, he would tell me.”

“You could have told him how you felt,” Maria reminded him.

“I could have. And he could have. We wasted all that time and I just—I can’t help but believe that if he had been down here with us, like he should’ve been, maybe he could have done what I couldn’t. Maybe Soren would still be alive.”

He abandoned us, Talos wanted to say. It was what most Skrulls believed about Nick Fury, although Talos could’ve told them they had no idea what it was to be abandoned by him.

Soren had never made a secret of her affection for Fury; all those years locked away from her husband in Mar-Vell’s lab had taught her how precious love was, and how freely it should be expressed. Talos, on the other hand, feared rejection. Loneliness. Ages of being hunted by the Kree, mistrusted and reviled by other species, had taught him that. And yet…with Soren by his side, it was always clear that Fury had a home with them if he wanted it. And Fury had accepted that offer and lived with them from time to time, his nearness and his close relationship with Soren driving Talos mad.

Why did he give up that home when they needed so badly to see him alive and well after his death?

Suddenly Talos remembered something else Soren had said. They had been washing dishes together, while Fury was in the living room admiring some drawings that G’iah had made.

“You’re a stubborn man, Talos. And I love you for it. Anyone else might have given up on finding us again.” She handed him a plate to dry. “But…I wonder what it would take for you to take a leap of faith.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” (He did.)

“Hand him your heart, Talos, and trust him not to break it.”

Soren had been able to do it all that time, and it had never cost her. Yet even now, when he was finally reunited with Fury, Talos had only been able to give him Soren’s love, and not his own.

It was on him as much as it was on Fury that they had never determined what they were to each other. And it was his inability to protect Soren, not Fury’s absence from them, that had cost Soren her life, Talos decided.

When Fury finally returned from his walk (and a kidnapping, Talos was alarmed to hear) he informed them that he had set up a bug in an associate’s house and was expecting to get new intel on Gravik’s plans soon. Maria took charge of setting up their end of the surveillance equipment, and Talos determined to take his chance and do what Soren had advised him to do years ago.

“Fury, can I talk to you for a moment?” he asked. He noticed Maria smirking and wanted to sigh. “It’s….” Not information on which the fate of Earth or Humanity hung, but still….“Important.”

To Talos's surprise, Fury’s irritation with him had entirely dissipated, no doubt in light of the new information they were about to get. They went back up to the roof and stood looking out at the city together, the silence amiable.

Talos reached over and took Fury’s hand. His fingers were cold. “I’ve always loved you,” he said, staring straight ahead. “And I’m sorry it took me so long to say it.”

Fury smiled. “I had guessed. Figured you would say it when you were ready—didn’t quite expect that to take three decades.” He pulled Talos close and repeated the Skrull forehead touch they had done earlier, their fingers still intertwined. A single tear slipped down Talos’s face. “I love you too.”

[destinyc1020]

Just Saw "The Color Purple" Last Night!! 😁😁 (My Movie Review)

WOW! Where do I even begin?? First of all, let me just start off by saying that I LOVED this movie! I really enjoyed it. 😃 You just knew that you were in for a wonderful ride when you heard the opening number to this film. I love musicals just in general, but there's just something extra special about seeing black talent, black voices, and black actors dancing, singing, and acting onscreen. 🥰 The whole entire film was a magical moment for me, and a sense of great pride. Sort of like the feeling I got when I saw "Black Panther" in theaters for the first time. 😊

I will say too that this film was very well shot. I kept being in awe of the cinematography, the camera angles, the vibrant colors, the use of lighting, the gorgeous shots of Georgia, etc. It was so very well done. You can tell that they spent a lot of time, hard work, and energy on this film to make it very special and of high quality. 👌🏾

I also loved how this film kind of had a stage/theater feel to it. You can tell that it was a musical theater play before it hit the big screen.

The Music The MUSIC!!! Oh the music!!! 🎵🥰 I've never seen the stage play musical, so a lot of the songs were new to me, but I liked a lot of the songs that were in the film. I also loved how they kept some of the original songs that were in the original 1985 film, like "Miss Celie's Blues (Sister)", and "Maybe God is Tryin' to Tell You Somethin'". 😊

The Acting The acting was very well done. I felt like everyone pulled their weight and there weren't any "weak links" in the cast at all. Halle did amazing....I think she has a great career ahead of her in acting if she keeps it up. Danielle Brooks...Omg she was AWESOME. I almost feel like she stole the show in some scenes lol....

Colman Domingo did a great job. I think Danny Glover was a bit more unlikable in the original film, but Colman is a very good actor, and I felt like he did a great job in this role.

I love my girl Taraji! She is SO very talented! Her voice is really great too. While I was watching the film, i couldn't help but remember everything she was saying on the press tour regarding unequal pay in Hollywood, and anytime I saw her onscreen I just couldn't believe that someone with her great talent still feels like she has to fight and scrap to just get a smidgen of what other actresses get in HW, and how she's always having to start right back at the BOTTOM. Smh...it's really sad. 🤦🏾‍♀️ Fantasia Barrino....OMG.... Like, I remember this woman on American Idol!!!! I am so proud of her and how far she's come. 😊 She did an AMAZING job in this! She thoroughly deserved her Golden Globe nomination. 👏🏾 She probably won't win, but she definitely deserved her nomination. I always feel like when someone has to not only act but also sing, dance, (or even play a musical instrument) onscreen, they usually are doing WAY more "work" than others who are just having to simply "act" onscreen lol. I will go to my grave saying that. But! I know this year is a pretty tight race for the "Best Actress" category, so, if she doesn't win, then it is what it is. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Just being nominated is an honor.

The Pros:

This is more like a pro AND a con (I'll explain)... But the fact that they cut out a lot of stuff from the original movie kind of made the story move a lot quicker, and I appreciated that!

I liked that the film didn't feel AS heavy as the original 1985 film. The film still had a lot of heavy elements in it (don't get me wrong), but you don't get to experience just HOW heavy the film is because there's a lot of singing and dancing, and they kind of gloss over certain things in the story (imo). This is actually probably a good thing, especially for a film coming out during the Holiday season lol.

The acting was superb.

It seems that they added a few more things to this film that was in the original book by Alice Walker, so that was a nice touch.

The Cons:

I liked how they cut stuff from the film, but at the same time I didn't lol. I'm so glad that I saw the 1985 version FIRST before seeing this version, because I think there would have been some elements that I wouldn't have fully appreciated because I didn't have the context. The 1985 version is pretty long and more slow-moving, but I felt like it added way more depth to everything that was taking place in the story. The 2023 version almost banked on the fact that you've probably already seen the 1985 version, and they didn't spell everything out for you...which, again...imo was a good thing and a bad thing at the same time lol. I can't explain it.

OVERALL SCORE: 8/10

Overall, very well-done movie! Loved the acting, loved the music, loved basically everything! 😊

[stardreamer28]

please post your own favorite character moment, social moment, or fan story, gif, fic etc for David's birthday today! here's mine: as I was telling @martianbugsbunny & @monsterstaybroken I've been a fan of David's from literally the beginning. I watched Alias when it was originally on air (ironically mostly season 2 & 5), then after school I'd watch repeats on TNT at like 4pm lol. I do remember when I first noticed him, I was maybe 11 or 12 & it was Alias s3, I'd always loved Syd/Vaughn, had seen him during season 2 (the episode where he tries to kill/not kill Sloan) and the thing with Allison. but during s3 I just rememeber thinking wow he's cute and cool. like his attitude was just so suave and wanted to listen to him even though he was a baddie. with that accent who wouldn't? lol. funny enought my favorite Charmed episode was his before I realized it was him. I'd watched OUAT over the years after that on/off as I've told before, but never consistant. but last year I was looking for a distraction, somehow during my Captain Swan & Outlaw Queen deepdive Frankenwolf jumped out at me & everyone knows I love them lol. not sure how I even found David's page but I knew it was him on Alias (and a casual Heroes viewer) and that was it. after losing my mom so suddenly, what a comfort his videos were to find. this was the first video I found out he could sing & was just like "he sings too?!" 'cause somehow everyone I watch sings lol. but seeing those everyday got me to smile and want to do things again. what's funny though is as much as I love his baddies I remember thinking he should do a Hallmark movie to play a good guy (I even said it in my Magnum post) and a few weeks later he started the Christmas movie, and the fact it's about a single mom raising a disabled child, that won me even more. he even followed my instagram once which felt really special. this post undersells it but I adore his personality & his work. I even found his onscreen bro Chad's Sniper movies this way which I love. things may have been tough at times but I don't regret re-finding such a good person, actor, and sunshine. smile so big, eyes bright, silly golf videos, and random jokes in the middle of the night posts. so Happy Birthday, David!! thankyou for the kindness to fans and joy you bring to everything you do! <3

[verstappentime]

Director’s commentary for Pietro and Erik’s relationship in superposition! (I love love love everything we got to see of them onscreen; the “remember what I always tell you” “there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism?” exchange in particular was so delightful, probably my favorite little moment of the fic so far)

ohhhh i love this one.

basically the idea came in the beginning to have pietro be part of the pit crew bc of his powers. then i was debating doing that bc i wanted him to be erik's kid, and we (me and percy who helps me with all my fics) were messing around with the idea of him being a little kid running around the garage or something, then it kind of all came together when i think he suggested we make him old enough to be on the crew *and* erik's son. so that's where erik being a teen dad came from! and once we landed on that idea, even though i knew it was going to be hard to slot into the story, i really super loved it. and we figured out a way around some of the logistical issues with erik not knowing he had a kid till he was 20, when he was probably already in f1, and us making erik a little older so it wasn't super outrageous.

they have an incredible relationship, there's actually a lot of lore that's not in the fic (yet, at least?). he found out about P when he was 20 and magda moved to england and got his number. he went over with his mom & she waited outside when he went in -- P was soo shy & didn't want to come out to meet him at first. he was so tiny and had erik's eyes and it was just surreal for him. he eventually got to say a little hello and go see some of pietro's trains and things and get to see his kid being a real four year old human and when he went back out to the car he just sobbed. he'll always be heartbroken that he never held him as a baby, tbh. he doesn't blame magda but he just wishes he could've gotten every minute with him possible. he takes being a dad more seriously than anything else and just loves his kid so much.

i guess it also hasn't come up that he stopped racing for a few years from when he was 20-22 because he wanted to parent full time, which is what led to him not winning his first championship until he was 25.

also, this bit you mentioned is a favorite of mine too, erik as a socialist who is also knowingly being a hypocrite because he's a multi-millionaire is funny to me lol. but yeah, these two are a great duo, erik does a good job!! there will be some bumps in the road bc he's parenting a 16 year old, but y'know. <3 thank you for loving them!

i'll add a deleted scene under the cut where erik opens up abt P a little more! (not very well written i'm sorry)

“I loved him from the moment I met him,” he says, quiet and honest. “He was small for his age, for a long time. And shy, if you can believe it. Magda had to coax him out just to say hello. I would’ve killed for four more years with him, back then.”

“And now?”

Erik shrugs. “It was hard at first. Toddlers don’t adjust well to change. And I think he… I know he wonders about it, sometimes. If I didn’t try hard enough to be there.” He swallows. He tries to keep that guilt tucked away somewhere safe. It hurts, and it’s hurt for the last twelve years. “But I just try to do everything I can to be a good dad, I guess. I don’t know if I’m getting anywhere with that one.”

He’s read so many fucking parenting books he could recite them. Raising mutant children, raising children with ADHD, explaining sexuality to your children, gentle parenting; everything he could get his hands on. But he still loses his temper sometimes.

He thinks of the first time he had to discipline Pietro, when he was little. He’d taken to Erik immediately, once he’d come out of his shell a bit, but Erik was a visitor, a friend who his mother had gently told him was his dad. They could play dragons together, visit the park, have a snack, and then he went back to his mom, who did heavy lifting.

The first time he’d taken Pietro overnight and needed to put his foot down, be just a bit firm (the first of thousands “no ice cream for dinner” arguments), Pietro had been completely distraught. He sobbed for what felt like hours, like Erik had broken his four-year-old heart.

He’d ended up burrowed into Erik’s neck, whimpering softly, while Erik whispered nonsense to him. It was the first time it dawned on him that if he just really fucking loved the kid, that could be enough.

These days, he isn’t sure.