#the feather is shaped like a scorpion tail lol

[hazbinsandweirdos]

Something something Pierre as a spooder overlords husband lol

[skyeslittlecorner]

Tails for All! - Abaddon edition

Other parts: Kings | Gehenna | Tartaros | Hades | Avisos | Nilfheim | Paradise Lost

Dantalian

A small fluffy ball, slightly elongated towards the top. It looks like a deer, but with black fur instead of brown.

He's glad he has small horns because it makes him look less dangerous. He is even happier with his little tail. It's cute and matches Sailor Moon's uniform more than any nasty weapon. He only wishes you could write on it.

Asmodeus doesn't like his tail because, unlike the other two, he can't hold Dantalian by the tail like on a leash. Dantalian offered to attach barbed wire to his tail. You don't know how this conversation went further.

His tail smells lovely, like almonds. Why? Nobody knows.

The best anti-stress squeeze in all of Hell.

Sensitiveness 10/10. Stand on it. Crush it. Tear out the fur. Set it on fire. The more you abuse it, the better.

He will be honestly surprised when you start stroking and kissing him, but... hey, it's actually nice too!

Phenix

A long, feathery tail. The feathers are blurry because they are made of pure flames, you can't see where the feathers end and the fire begins. The whole thing is long up to the feet.

The color of his tail depends on his emotions, in arousal the shades change between red, orange and white when he cums (so usually).

Asmodeus asked Beelzebub to give Phenix a piercing at the base of his tail. Beel could not agree, because he was not his citizen, but under his watchful eye, Asmo did it himself and put a padlock on Phenix, thanks to which his tail does not burn inanimated objects.

Phenix can actually regulate whether his tail will burn someone or not, but he's too excited to consider such things.

Perfect for fighting. Angel feathers smell beautiful when they burn. In addition, severed limbs can be burned to prevent the enemy from bleeding out too quickly.

When not excited, his tail curls up and is much smaller and about the size of Stolas. At least that's what Morax said. No one else can confirm or deny.

Sensitiveness ?/10. How do you want to touch the fire? 

In fact, you saw that a one person can touch Phenix's tail whenever he wants. But Asmo is a mean bastard and all you will hear from him is "try it yourself".

In bed it can only be used as a night lamp. At least until you teach that little bird to keep his emotions in check (good luck).

Ronove

Calf-length, very hard, covered with stone-hard skin, with a ball the size of a fist at the end. Morningstar, actually. Dark, gray skin, rough. He actually has patches like a dinosaur. 

The spines are long, sharp and hooked at the tip. They will tear out a piece of meat if they get stuck. 

Can retract spikes. He controls them much better than Phenix controls his flame. When you're dealing with just the ball, it's very nicely slick and in the right shape... wait, that should have been at the end.

When he was younger and Asmodeus told him to shut up, he put his tail in his mouth. Now it's a bit too big. You can lick it too... wait, yes, at the end. Again. Oops. 

Perfect massager. Heavy enough that you can feel it running along your back and shoulders, but not overwhelming.

Sensitiveness 7/10. He loves playing with his tail when you are together. The tip and base are the most sensitive. Play with them, but not too gently, spankings and whips are most desirable.

Rough skin is perfect for grinding. Besides, he'd love to see it.

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…well, we know about one more figure from this country. And I have an unhealthy obsession with him. He's so hot he burned a hole in my brain, and he isn't even out yet. We only know his appearance from Love Unholyc, but just let's have some fun, I'll try to fit him something. We'll see how this post ages lol.

Asmodeus

Scorpion tail. As thick as his arms, black as his hair, hard and shiny, with a sting at the end.

At first, his tail is confused with Beel and vice versa. In fact, they are two completely different things. Beel is much more flexible and thinner, while Asmo is larger and harder.

He likes to sit on a chaise-longue-like throne in a brothel-looking hall, hold you in his lap, wrap his deadly tail around you, and watch Dantesque scenes at his feet with his queen by his side. The only thing missing is popcorn.

Like his hair, the tail is wrapped in barbed wire. Normal devils would prefer it had some sort of cover on it. The other kings wondered whether they should really do one to him.

Of course it's poisonous. The only antidote is to drink milk from his horn. If you don't please him, he will sting you to try harder. He likes watching you fight for your life…

...but he will never lose himself enough to do real harm to you. I mean, kill you. He will detoxify you long before you pass out.

By the way, do I need to mention that this poison is the strongest aphrodisiac in hell?

Sensitiveness 4/10. As opposed to being the embodiment of lust, his tail is used for fighting rather than caressing.

Yes, he will try to put his stinger in you. No, this is not a good idea. Of course he knows it, but he loves the horror and outrage on your face.

[oh-boy-me]

Demon Outfits Discussed

The wait is over :) thank you for your patience and all the lovely comments on the casual discussion!!

I feel like it got longer this time, so I hope it’s all an enjoyable read!  Also, I apologize for the ugly pictures--it was the easiest and fastest way to both have all the design in one image and also prevent it from stretching so far.

Like last time, please don’t take this too seriously; we love these boys and Justin doesn’t know them but has no grudges against them.  We’re just harping on their fashion sense.  Absolutely no hate is intended towards the boys or the design team!

Participants in the discussion were

Jo ( @jodaneko ), our art major with storyboarding/character design experience, who finds they have more in common with Satan each passing day.

Justin ( @justinlester0629 ), our fashion expert, who dressed up and filled a wine glass with water for the occasion.

Noodle (Me), our untrained eye who owns the Barbie as the Island Princess video game on three different platforms.  It’s not even that good.

Featuring emergency guest star Megan ( @maggo77​ ), my sister who is physically near me as we look at the backs of their designs for the first time.

Edit: Distracted by the pretty jacket, we made a mistake when putting in Levi’s silhouette rating.  It’s the worst.  2/10, not 6.

Lucifer:

“Boy looks like he’s about to swing open the doors of an expensive mansion during a debutante party and give some SCATHING NEWS.” —Justin

“Short shoulder cape and a long split butt cape lol” —Jo

Jo has realized that based on both outfits, Lucifer doesn’t want people looking at his butt.  Possible reasons are: he doesn’t have one, or Diavolo someone was getting distracted.

His shoes match his outfit.  After last time that’s all I care about.

A triple popped color, and how many layers is the middle one?  Is that a book?  Dude has like 27 collars.

The forehead diamond is very important and it’s great that there are diamond buttons to match it.  But uh.  How about those red diamonds on his sleeves.  They.  They sure are there.  (I actually like the red accents and that they match his gloves; I just can’t take the diamonds seriously.)

  Lucifer 🤝 Some Horses Diamond on the Forehead

The peacock motif is HERE and we’re all living for it.  HOWEVER, the feathers on the cape and coattails should have matched, OR there should have been more lime green because there’s so little of that color.

The pants have a pleat in the front, which Justin says means he responsibly irons his clothes, and Jo says only heightens the fact that under the capes this is a marching uniform.

Can he fly?  Jo says these are baby wings that can’t support his weight, and his cape has a hole for the top pair but blocks the bottom pair?  Can’t believe Lucifer handicapped himself for the sake of fashion.

The red makes it regal and the wide flowy design makes it imposing.  Good job, Lucifer!  I might actually be intimidated if I saw you.

Definitely the classiest outfit.  You can tell they put care into it.

Mammon:

“BITCH MY BODY CANNOT TAKE THIS KIND OF SEXY, I THINK I AM OVERHEATING!  NO MORE FURTHER COMMENTS, YOUR HONOR.  HAUTE AND HOT.” —Justin

The whole thing does amazing with only three colors.  We’ve noticed the trend of black and white + one color, but I mean hey.  It’s working so far.

Damn those pants sit low.  No wonder literally all of you wear belts.

The leather jacket?  The studs and harness?  Bless.  Justin calls it “the perfect blend of stylish and ‘I’ll see you tonight *wink*’”.

Kind of don’t like how the belts connect to the pants, though.  It looks better in the back.

“He found a really cool jacket, but it didn’t pair with anything so he just didn’t wear anything.” —Jo

Honestly though?  We’ve all made fun of Mammon for having big hoe energy in his outfits, but like, he knew he had wings and planned his outfit to accommodate for that.  He’s the only one who didn’t cut holes in his outfit.  Maybe Mammon was the smallest hoe after all.

Also if there’s a motif it repeats elsewhere, like the studs and diamonds on his jacket and pants.  Did he and Lucifer have a “tastefully putting diamonds on my outfit” battle?  Because Mammon definitely won.

One of the charms broke off the belt loop and he never bothered to replace it, and honestly thank god there isn’t two of those anymore.

Torn between wishing the boots were tighter to match the rest of the outfit and saying “yoooo they’re open in the back!!!”

Ok so so far we’ve said generally only good things, but there is one major issue with the design: Its gravity.  Everything points down, his tattoos, the diamonds, even his wings.  The center of gravity in the image is his shoes.  Bitch loved his shoes so much he made his whole outfit point to them.

Either way this was universally considered the best and I mourn Justin who doesn’t know how far Mammon’s standards are gonna fall from here.

Leviathan:

Diagonal zipper

“Levi what the fuck.” —Megan

He looks like an e-boy.

Honestly it looks like he borrowed something from Justin’s wardrobe for Pride but he didn’t know how to put it on.

APPARENTLY the biggest hoe.  Abs that he shouldn’t have coming through a mesh t-shirt.  I thought Mammon’s pants were low, but Levi’s whole-ass ass is out.  Ok Levi, I see you.

The shirt pattern is good but he probably leaves it partially unzipped because it’d look really dumb fully closed.

Justin loves the funky pants pattern and Jo likes the pants but not with the outfit.  It’s because the devs were too coward to give him a thick tail base so his pants had to fill that role by sharing the pattern.

The shoes are good, and not just because they incited Justin’s deep-set hatred for Christian Louboutin and his uncomfortable red-bottom shoes.

Justin is offended that he’s hiding his suspenders; either show them completely or not at all, no in between.  Jo’s not fully convinced it isn’t just one suspender.  What are his suspenders doing?  What are they attached to?  Are they holding anything up?  Apparently not.

Jo pointed out that if you squint the belt on his waist looks like fangs and the orange dots on his sleeves looks like eyes so it’s like theres a snake head on his outfit.  Cute!

The gloves are throwing us off though.  Why is Levi of all other brothers need gloves?  I bet he has sweaty hands.

Ok really, does his sweater unzip all the way into two pieces?  Or does it hang by that tiny thread underneath the tail hole?  There’s even a button, just in case.

Can’t believe this antler-sporting, suspender-wasting nerd went diagonal zipper on us because we beat him at a trivia game.  Should have just zipped his hood.

Satan:

HONEY.

“I hate everything about this.” —Megan

First of all, he’s straight up wearing Lucifer’s casual shirt.  Does it only button down the back?  Can he take it off?

Then he spilled bleach on his pants.  Like I get what they were going for but with the white on black that is literally just bleach stains.

Incredibly differing opinions on the belt.  He got it in the cowboy department.  Justin adores it.  Jo despises it.

And are those… athletic slip ons?

And now the elephant in the room.  The ribcage made of ribbons.  The ribboncage.  The idea is great!  I love that they gave him a skeletal theme without throwing him into a Hot Topic.

But if you take the ribboncage and feather boa off he’s literally just wearing a dress shirt and some nice jeans.  And that’s the problem with Satan’s demon form.  Not that it looks goofy.  It’s that they took risks but then hid all the risks behind business casual.

Also Megan said that the back of the ribbons look like a rock climbing harness.  Someone (probably Justin) said the front reminds them of the underbelly of a green cockroach.  Ew.

The feather boa would look better if it was over something you wouldn’t literally wear at the office.  (And also didn’t look so much like worm on a string.)

“He is going to Dragcon 2020 and is definitely going to take a picture and ask to lip sync, but accidentally start beef with Acid Betty.” —Justin

On a good note, loving how the tail fades to highly radioactive green.  Feels dangerous.  Megan pointed out that it’s a pretty wimpy tail, though.  Jo enjoys the self-conscious posture it expresses.

That’s basically the only good thing we have to say, though.

I just????

Merry Christmas.

Asmodeus:

The kanji on the picture is just saying that the coattail is the same on both sides.

Ok now with that out of the way, HONEY.

I’m sure he says that to others but I hope he says it to himself too when he looks in the mirror.

Starting with the good.  The wings?  Adorable.  The heart-shaped hole to accommodate them?  Adorable.  One of the only good adjustments.

And I love that the tips of his horns look venomous, like a scorpion tail!

We love a good floral design and a good twin tailcoat.

But once again, the shirt just has too much going on.  The flowers.  The buttons.  The brick-pattern stitching.  The brooch.  The long collar.  The fact that if he closed the last button it’d end in a diamond covering his crotch.  Sometimes less is more, Asmo.

That scorpion brooch is the best thing to ever grace my computer screen and it shouldn’t have to share the spotlight with the rest of his shirt.  It should have wrapped around his arm and been paired with some more jewelry.  Then he could have ditched those giant cuffs.

The bleeding heart tattoos are a really good idea!  But they should have been angled better and not like someone else put them on at the roller rink.  And maybe they shouldn’t have been outlined in pink.  Those aren’t tattoos, those are gaping holes in his arm.  Is he ok.

I’ve been avoiding the pants, but.  The pants.

“Oh dear god. Oh no that’s… I thought you were a designer…” —Jo

One side is buckled the ENTIRE way down, and then the other side is COMPLETELY plain.  It’s too extreme on both ends.  It should have been only half a leg of buckles.  Not whatever this is.  I still don’t think he can bend that leg.

The shoes are ok but they COULD have been a stiletto so.

Jo is DONE with these demons’ inability to wear socks.

We expected better from you, Asmo.  I hope you have to fasten all those buckles every morning as retribution.

Beelzebub:

He said “how many belts can I wear on one outfit.”

Justin said it’s like Barry B. Benson and Post Malone had a beautiful baby boy, and Obey Me! is cancelled for creating a sequence of events that could lead to me hearing that with my own two ears.

The jacket?  Stunning.  “It’s steampunk mixed with Jack Sparrow, mixed with Billie Joe Armstrong,” says Justin.  It’s got puffy sleeves!  And there’s objectively too much going on with the jacket, but since it’s a leather jacket I can forgive it.  Justin and Jo can’t.

I’m not sure why they keep giving him weird jacket collars but I prefer belt number 9 to fur.

“Why is it bucked in the back?  Couldn’t it have just been a jacket?” —Megan

Good that the black tank isn’t only black, but he has so little color on his outfit that it would have been nice for it and the matching pattern on his boots to have been a color besides gray.

I don’t mind the belts down the leg because they’re not too in your face.  Jo wants the white belt to be thinner.  Justin wants him to just pick one and go with it.

Poor Beel, he can’t do his lil thigh pat pose without his right hand being assaulted by studs and that bear trap-shaped buckle.

Justin feels like the cowboy boots are too wide up top and it’s probably because they’re FAKE cowboy boots.  I don’t know why he didn’t just get cowboy boots instead of putting fake coverings over his dress shoes.

Can’t fault the twin belt, though.  And the wing hole isn’t terrible.

Idk I guess.  They knew what they wanted to do at least.  

That seems to be the pattern with Beel: they know what they want to do, but something weird happens in the middle of it.

Belphegor:

“I don’t know which Teletubby let their son go through the it’s just a phase mom phase, but they should be ashamed.” —Justin

A toddler who just learned how to cut holes in paper got a hold of his hoodie.

Is it a hoodie?  A jacket?  A poncho?  The cow print actually isn’t terrible.  At least it had the decency to be unique in its spotting.  And the actual presence of blue is very appreciated.

On the topic of colors, Jo is calling the devs out on their apparent fear of color.  “Put the pink elsewhere, cowards,” they say.

We actually don’t hate the horseshoe, and using it for the belt buckles is actually really clever.  Even if 75% of them are doing literally nothing.  Feel like he didn’t need that many.  Could do without the bottom one, maybe even bottom two.

There’s a teeeeny tiny cowbell on the back?  Megan apparently finds that VERY important.  Why do they go to such great lengths to remind us that Belphie’s a cow?  Beel doesn’t rub his hands together 24/7.  Mammon doesn’t even get bird wings.

Just like Satan spilled bleach, Belphie has tar pants.

It’s nice to see a change in pant style, but.  Am I biased because I hate harem pants?  Maybe.  Are these harem pants too short on him?  Yes.  Maybe they were supposed to be parachute capris?  But it just looks he outgrew them too fast and Lucifer won’t buy him new pants yet.  At least they look comfy.

If he puts his keys in those pockets will his pants fall down?  Probably.  That’s a problem considering his are the only pants that look like they could hold any keys.

The shoes are fine.  I can enjoy a high topped sneaker.  …Is that a security tag?  Did he steal his shoes.  Belphie stole his shoes.

On the tiny tail hole, I appreciate that Belphie went for modesty.  But I hope it’s impossible to wear these outfits outside of demon form because I don’t want him walking around with a tiny hole right above his ass.

Honestly he doesn’t even look like a demon?  He just looks like… a cow.

There’s one more aspect of their demon forms that I didn’t feel comfortable forcing into a smaller space than it deserved: Silhouettes.  Jo puts a lot of weight on silhouettes and their role in character design.  Is it dynamic?  Is it recognizable?  Jo ranked them as such:

1. Lucifer: 9/10.  Care and effort were put into this design and it shows. 2. Mammon: 7/10.  Points deducted for most of it being form fitting but otherwise still manages to get a passing grade. 3 (tied). Beelzebub: 5/10.  His wings have actual mass but his horns being mostly hidden by his head reduce his score. 3 (tied). Belphegor: 5/10.  Evens out since his clothes aren’t as form fitting as the others but they also kind of turn him into a blob. 5. Asmodeus: 4/10, and only because he’s got multiple wings and that his tailcoat breaks up the bottom half. 6. Satan: 3/10, for the fact HIS BOA carries most of the work in altering his silhouette. 7. Leviathan: 2/10.  The tail and horns prevent this from being a total flop.

Our (surprisingly unanimous!) ranking of their outfits (not counting Megan her opinions deviated) were:

Mammon

Lucifer

Leviathan

Belphegor

Beelzebub

Asmodeus

Satan

In conclusion, any M-rated fic that doesn’t have it take demon Satan 20 minutes to take off his shirt is too unrealistic.

[writing-the-end]

LoL Chapter 37- Queen Bee

Masterpost

A Wizard Hermits tale (AU, designs, ideas belongs to @theguardiansofredland)

Tradition meets change when the hermits arrive in Fielville, and meet with the Elder Council Queen, one of the few people who understands the Hangman’s Playground

________________________________

“Go wash up, Grian. It’s against tradition to enter court looking like you just rolled in a patch of mud.” Mumbo states, rocking on the balls of his feet as they stand before the hexagonal building. He flicks a patch of grass from Grian’s shoulder, which strikes Iskall in the eye. The good one, at least. 

“It’s not my fault the wind suddenly picked up when I was trying to land.” Grian laughs as Iskall stumbles back. He turns to xB, spreading mudstained arms and wings wide. “Hey, can you clean me off?” 

The kipling’s eyes light up, and he cracks his knuckles. “With pleasure, my dude.” 

xB’s circle appears, followed by a rush of water over Grian’s body. Like someone dropped an entire tub of water on his head. His feathers ruffle and splash the nearby hermits, who voice their displeasure, but the stains disappear from his skin, wings, and clothes. 

Except now he’s wet. Mumbo and Stress groan and clasp their heads. They’re about to meet the elder of Fielville, one of the last few towns that still have an elder council. And of course Grian had to be.... Well, Grian now of all times. The rural village orphan, playing in dirt as they enter this tradition filled hall. 

The scorpion guards stand at attention, waiting for the crew of hermits to stop their bickering. Impulse blasts Grian with a heat explosion, fixing the wet problem but creating a whole new issue. Now Grian’s hair is blown back in a thousand different directions, and his clothes pressed in odd angles. 

Honeycomb shaped doors open, guards bowing with tails arched over their backs- stingers dripping with venom as they point towards the hermits. Down the cavernous nest, insectia crawl up the wall from floor to floor, flying and walking. Town square one level up, the marketplace in another wing of the hive. But the ground floor was where the queen ruled. Following the guidance of mantis advisors, they wander down until they reach the rise in combs. Standing atop was the queen bee.

Literally. A bee insectia stands at the podium, antennae swiveling with curiosity. A mantis clambers up and whispers in her ears, while the hermits attempt to bow and curtsy to their best ability, following all protocols and tradition they can muster up. The bee flutters her wings, peering over the podium. “You wish to know about the Hangman’s Playground? What for?”

TFC steps up, as the leader of the guild it’s tradition for him. “Queen Erlea, we… We believe something dangerous is being hidden in those woods. We are the only ones who have any understanding for this mission, we’re the only ones who can go in search.”

The queen’s transparent wings flutter, her hums sounding more like a buzz. Black and yellow locks of hair fall over ebony eyes. “Yes, that dangerous thing is the whole forest. Nothing is more dangerous than the Forest of Memories, and none of you are ready. I can sense it in each and every one of you.” 

“But we’re ready!” Grian shouts, and the entire hive fills with gasps, including from Mumbo and Stress. Speaking out of line isn’t tradition. Shouting is not tradition. 

“I am reluctant to tell such an ill prepared, unadvised, incapable guild about the Forest of Memories. No one should go wandering in there- perhaps whatever this danger is should be left within the Forest. You will hear nothing from me, and by my order none shall enter.” Queen Erlea juts her chin out, dismissing them as she seats herself beside the podium.

Tango isn’t about to go that easily. “We’re going in, whether we have this information or not!” 

His voice is backed up by Impulse and Zedaph. Mumbo feels as if he’s about to have a panic attack, eyes wide and alarmed. None of this is tradition, and the queen bee’s legs uncross beneath her long, honeycomb styled dress. He can’t tell the queen’s emotions through her eyes- dammit, why didn’t he study body language of insectia before?

Silence falls over the hive, the queen staring at the hermits. There’s a soft click of stingers surrounding them, as if the whole hive is ready to defend their queen. Defend their tradition. Until laughter falls over the blanket of quiet. 

The queen titters, before collapsing into a full chested guffaw. Pollen escapes from her long hair, dancing along the lace and puffs of her gown. “Finally! Finally, someone with enough gusto to talk back. Do you know how boring it’s been to never be spoken back to for so many years?” 

The clacking of stingers stops, and the hermits’ nervous laughter follows. Keralis notices an interesting looking beetle skittering down the hall, but is only halted by Xisuma and a firm grasp to his collar. Now’s not the time for a snack. Zedaph raises an eyebrow. “So… will you help us?” 

“Help you? After that show, I simply must! I will tell you all I know of the Forest of Memories. I have entered there many times, and my fellow Fielville peers are quite knowledgeable as well. If I do not know your answer, surely they shall.” 

Joe pulls out his pen, licking the tip and ready to jot down notes. “What is it about the Forest that is so dangerous? Is it monsters, traps? Magic? Magical traps with monsters?” 

“Nothing that you can fight. The Forest of Memories shall test you mentally and emotionally, it shall dredge up your worst fears and greatest pains, but only if you expose that side of yourself to it. Enter the forest with any negative thoughts, and it will destroy you.” 

“But if we enter with only positive thoughts, it’ll be easy?” Mumbo questions, biting his lip. Maybe he shouldn’t go on this mission. 

“Precisely. Lady Cielle, for example-” Queen Erlea reveals a book from her frocks, the very book that brought them to the ghost. “Her beloved Nellaime had just proposed to her before she entered the forest. She had nothing on her mind but her soon-to-be wife.” 

“So just go in thinking good thoughts, that’s not too bad, it’s like a kids play!” BDubs scoffs. How is it that bad if all it takes is thinking good things and saying ‘i believe’?

“Not so simple, bubble boy.” The queen titters. She sits down on the risen honeycomb, legs swinging from beneath her dress. “The forest is like a parasite, and it feeds on your emotions. Negative emotions are as sweet as honey to it. Even if you hide those feelings, it will draw them out, and use them against you. So you will have to go in prepared to face your darkest demons.” 

“I’m not even ready to face my lightest demons.” Keralis’s eyes are wide and terrified, no longer thinking of all the bugs around him. 

Queen Erlea nods. “It would be wise for you to supply yourselves.” She taps her finger against her chin, antennae flicking as she thinks. “Potions to ease your fears and hinder the effects of the Forest of Memories, as well as amulets and talisman to ward it off in the first place. They won’t stop attacks from the forest all together, but it will provide armor.” 

“No better place to gather magical supplies than Redland.” Etho raises an eyebrow, grinning beneath his mask.

“Will we be able to afford all those supplies?” Scar knows much about the magical capital of Lairyon. And he knows better than anyone how expensive the merchants will sell their goods. At least, his family did. Even then, as many potions and amulets as they’ll need will be a costly necessity. 

“We have money from the championship!” Grian remembers the chalice full of gold that they just abandoned in the guild hall. They were so focused on the revelation that Magistrate Dolios was the dark mage that they left the winning gold and trophy just sitting in the alcove of the guild tree. 

“As for the actual forest- the Hangman’s Playground is a thicket of brambles, thorns, poisonous plants and carnivorous flowers.” Erlea nods her head to False’s blade.”You will need an arsenal of diverse weapons- the Forest will learn and adapt against you. It is alive- it will fight back. Your magic will be useless compared to physical blades. So better start training.” 

TFC bows his head, gloved hand pressing at his heart. “Thank you, your majesty. This information could be lifesaving.” 

Erlea hums. “Thank me when your guild returns safe, sane, and alive.” 

The hermits all bow, and allow themselves to be guided back to the hexagonal doorway, back out into Fielville, among the druids and insectia beyond the beehive of a castle, townhall, marketplace- just about anything, built by the insectia people to protect against the elements. Especially rain. 

Before the scorpion guards can show them out, a voice calls across the hall. “And please… take care of that bastard. For me, a-and King Sor and Tris.” Down the hall, the Queen looks at them. “They are like sons to me.”

[the-dreamer-traveller]

Final Fantasy X: The Faded

Continuing with the crowd-sensationalizing popular series of Final Fantasy, this is a dream video game (or a dream focusing on other) within a dream, which makes it as bizarre as it sounds to be. This is “The Faded”, a Final Fantasy game that focuses on Spira, the setting of Final Fantasy X. However, it bills itself as an “Interquel” between the main X and X-2, which is already even more bizarre because such materials differ themselves in terms of chronological events that adding The Faded between it just creates even more plot holes and contradictions that would make Kingdom Hearts blush.

Unless it all sets place within the Farplane, then that is at least agreeable.

Based on what I can gather from watching on the video, here is the plot of the entire dream video game/dream story: Sometime after the events of Final Fantasy X… or whatever… but right before the events of Final Fantasy X-2, the crew were transported into a yet unnamed region other than the main continent in Spira, where they discover that they are not alone and have more people in it. Led by Wakka (lol, wut I know, right?), the group are traveling around the continent with their huge armies of New Yevon soldiers, which would probably been sent by Yuna or someone. Together with a band of young, aspiring soldiers and mages, they are going through the country and checking up with their towns and cities, while keeping a mysterious and evil cult at bay from summoning their dark gods, which can cause the end of their world as they would know, along with some of their angels, who have wings in their arms and wrists, wears flowing clothes made of either silk or their feathers and screams like banshees after busting out of a womb or egg.

Despite that this is going to be a train wreck full of plot holes, inconsistent time lines, occasional flanderizations, overpowered characters and bizarre characterizations, this particular dream video game is NOT a comedic parody dream game, but is instead an aggressive, HOLY SHIT and dark one that is in par with, if not oversteps, Drakengard, one of the darkest fantasy video games in the industry!

o----------------------------------------------------------------------o

Setting within the unnamed continent, Wakka and co. are in the plains, with several of the army are within this certain place to set up their camp. Wakka and co. are in a platform high in the air, which is described as to be this world’s equivalent to a blimp; a seashell-shaped platform with spiked magitek ringed propellers that surrounds a large chunk of pseudo-land, while the area where it is standable is lightly guarded with light golden fence. There is no shelter for it and is fairly light weight, and it is pretty much OSHA’s worse nightmare, made even worse as it is also an acrophobic’s hell, because the platform is several hundred feet away from the ground, while it is floating above them.

Wakka and co., along with several dozens of New Yevon soldiers, are standing on top of it, looking through the horizon. Honestly, watching this particular scene just makes me squeamish, because of the various OSHA violations that this scene commits, and it also follows a ridiculous sequence that made me think that it is something of a parody.

Just as Wakka and co. are passing through, a thunderstorm happens exclusively in the atmosphere, causing only a darkened area in the land below. Because of this, the whole platform begins to rock and shake violently, causing everyone to be thrown out of their balance. The unluckiest are the mooks, as 90% of all of them, due to over boarding the platform, are thrown out of the OSHA-violating blimp platform and are falling to the ground.

This is where it gets ridiculous, along with added slow motions, dramatic music and incredibly improbable physics.

The troops below, which consists of regular footmen, Chocobo riders and mages, begin to notice of the falling troops and are acting fast to save them. In the manner similar to ass pull or highly unrealistic way of incorporating science, the Chocobo riders begin to command their Chocobos to fly above them to rescue, something that is impossible due to their actual nature, weight and small wings. Deliberately ignoring with the fact that they are full set in armor, the Chocobo riders manage to catch some of them, including a child soldier that is present for some reason. By catching with them in their Chocobos, they manage to save them before they become bloody red chunky salsas on the ground. How and why it happens made me think that this is some sort of a parody Square Enix is making.

In the next scene, it features Wakka grabbing the hands of a mook who is about to fall… except that it is followed by a series of other mooks who are also grabbing his legs, and it even reaches down to the ground below them. Wakka tells him that he’ll tries to save them, but the mook said to him not to and gives some sort of cheesy lines that made me cringe.

“You don’t have to, save yourself, for you are the light of our future.”

Afterwards, he let go of Wakka’s hands and he lets out an anguish no… while I am looking at them slowly folding down in half as if they are made of paper.

At this part, my jaw only drops due to its sheer ridiculousness that the scene carries itself, being so melodramatic but the way the scene is executed is so poor it left me in stunned silence due to the awkwardness of the scene.

As the ridiculously long line of hanging soldiers begin to fold and fall down, some of them loss grip and fall down, all of it down in dramatic effect. Some of their swords also fall down and ended up killing some of the falling soldiers by the sharp edges stabbing them, so the fall didn’t much kill them. Some of them that hit the ground just… turned bloody with their missing limbs appearing next to them, as if they are just replaced with cadaver textures and models along with the missing limbs. Blood also appears, but it looks like a tomato stain on the floor. Everyone acts so melodramatic and over the top it is basically insane.

And up to this day when I am awake, I still think that it is crazy.

Then suddenly, one of the main playable cast suddenly sprout wings in their arms and back, effectively turning into one of those winged humanoids that are their enemies. Fortunately, it is one of those short-haired brunettes who is an ally to them, so they are most fortunate. Then she jumps from the platform and sprouts a scorpion tail coming from her ass and I am not sure if I see or describe it correctly, but that is how I accurately remember it.

I think I’m going to take some therapeutic eating once this is done.

Once she jumps off, she quickly uses her super sense powers that are not really explained well and starts flowing to a random direction, where the rest of Wakka and co. and army begin to start following her. She’s ridiculously fast in flying, but so was everyone else in running and galloping. The army were quick enough to follow her and have no time to wonder why she grows wings on her arms, a scorpion tail on her ass and starts flying randomly.

The countryside soon takes an interesting turn in its design, which slowly features some trees, slightly more varied vegetation and some crops. There are also clusters of towns in the area, each of them covering several kilometers around a church, which serves as their town center. Thing is that there is a church, stylized as a cathedral, in every single town in the area, no matter how close these towns were. It turns out to be part of the kingdom of whatever region we are in, and the army is sent wandering around to protect it from outside threats.

What outside threats, you may ask? Well, we can begin on how they were introduced.

Distorted Latin-like Gregorian chants, sung by deep male vocals but also slightly distorted with a faint echo and chamber effect, can be heard. They sound off and unsettling, probably because of the vocals because it feels so uncanny that it is less of a heavenly choir and more of a mock demonic choir that tries to copy a heavenly choir but ends up unsettling. This is the arrival of the malevolent mysterious gods and their agents, as the distorted nature of the song can sometimes serve as their arrival call or something to wrap the minds of weak-willed mortals.

And then it turns out that these cursed chants are found in churches of each town.

So, we are going to smash in and kill the ones who are chanting with it. Relatively simple and easy in their eyes, extremely controversial in some religious people’s eyes.

While they are busy fighting and slashing the cultists and their chanters, some of them are quite busy taking over towns. It turns out that the chanting also serves as a summoning ritual, which is used to summon one of those creepy winged screaming bastards which would only be successful if it takes took long for our army to take them down. Some of the towns are relatively fine, as they manage to keep their pseudo-Italian architecture and buildings intact. Other towns are not so lucky, as they are forcibly invaded by the cults, with desiccated corpses of civilians, guards and soldiers gather in heaps while the undead, summoned by the cultists, are shambling around. Homes and buildings are on fire, while the church/main hub remains intact for the cultists to use.

Wakka and co., the army and the winged girl are sent here to curbstomp the cultists from causing too much permanent damage, as summoning them can cause the end of the world as they would know.

And all I am left as I woke up is just confusion of the overall nature of the dream video game.