#the fair mermaiden.....

[keyblademermaiden]

the other day customer’s surname was “Godwin” and it pains me that “oh like Harold Godwinson-“ is not something I can just say at work

[curious-minx]

Lilith Fair - A Meditation on Demonic Femmes On 2020 Album Art

The woman with fangs, sparkly talons, a lashing tail, and always sporting enough spandex to spare is levitating in the humid, lifeless air

Fire.

Jettisoning sparkles of lava leaking from her ambitious ass.

She cackles back in response to a joke that she alone can understand 

Smears some contour on a crumbling foundation and traipses off into a lost Woods

If only there was a chemical I could take that would make me as smooth and transitional as the Demonic ladies of Death Valley. 

Her nails are too much for me, but they are not for me. She lives for herself and herself alone. Some days she has too many tattoos and body modifications, and on other occasions you’d swear she looks like she was just recently birthed. 

A Handsome hag skipping slime coated pebbles across a still and evergreen pool. I swear I’ve seen her before. She went right over and lifted up a crying junkie huddled against an anonymous brownstone. The junkie girl stopped crying and they skipped arm in arm into a wind tunnel, twisting and shouting her remorse away. 

She’s always collecting cranberry stained wreckage, chic broken Dolls that have nothing to lose, because before crossing the candy striped path of the Marvelous Miss She-Devil these Dolls had nothing to their name. 

Sexless eunuchs are raiding a cathedral in the outskirts of:

 New Weird America. Suffer little lambs, because the Lioness is laughing and sizing up this torpid land. You love to watch her watch you etch the outline of her body in your mind, but then she get’s the slippery Male Gaze between her teeth and bites down. Jellied strawberry kelp oozing gelatin bursts in her purple and black stained mouth. 

Goodbye, Madonna! Gello, Succubi! Look at the damage I have done and all you did was laugh at me and cast my eyes into a briar patch of fog. I want an ice bath to forget the woman who burns for her Feminine Mystique. For as long as I can remember I have been the Lady of the Darkest Hour’s familiar. She doesn’t just use reverb and effect pedals. She levitates and manhandles  sound. She manipulates my lossless expectations. I pace around in my gilded cage, wracking my brain.

There is so much holy body horror terror coursing through the temples of Womanhood. Blood mixes with fire. Gorgeous Gorgon showing off her collection of Mermaidens writhing in the talent pool for the camera. Life gives me chances and still I only want to hide inside a  squalid hut somewhere inside the undying Undine waters. My dirty mind succumbs and untethers. I leave my body behind and my body is drained of all of it’s essence. Best not to tamper with evidence. 

Hags wearing gowns weaved from hemp are keeping busy romancing the Crone. Manananggal drags her tongue through the sleeping Mistress’s dream canals and tampers with her fetal dreams, blurring the edges around what’s real and the mistaken. You may catch these Cursed Gals live having a quiet night on the town. They know they are fabulous and one of a kind and would best like to be left alone. 

////

Album collage comprised of: Eartheather’s Phoenix: Flames Are Dew Upon My Skin

Kali Uchis’  Sin miedo (del amor y otros demonios) ∞

Arca’s Kick I

Grimes’ Miss Anthropocene

Bbymutha’s Muthaland 

Chole & Halle’s Ungodly Hour

Desire Marea’s Desire

Junglepussy’s JP4

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

I. THE BALLAD OF DEAD LADIES.

Tell me now in what hidden way is Lady Flora the lovely Roman? Where's Hipparchia, and where is Thais, Neither of them the fairer woman? Where is Echo, beheld of no man, Only heard on river and mere,— She whose beauty was more than human? . . . But where are the snows of yester-year?

Where's Héloise, the learned nun, For whose sake Abeillard, I ween, Lost manhood and put priesthood on? (From Love he won such dule and teen!) And where, I pray you, is the Queen Who willed that Buridan should steer Sewed in a sack's mouth down the Seine? . . . But where are the snows of yester-year?

White Queen Blanche, like a queen of lilies, With a voice like any mermaiden,— Bertha Broadfoot, Beatrice, Alice, 20And Ermengarde the lady of Maine,— And that good Joan whom Englishmen At Rouen doomed and burned her there,— Mother of God, where are they then? . . . But where are the snows of yester-year?

Nay, never ask this week, fair lord, Where they are gone, nor yet this year, Except with this for an overword,— But where are the snows of yester-year?

(Excerpt from François Villon’s Le Testament, 1450. Translated by Dante Gabriel Rossetti, 1870)

[erintoknow]

too much sun too soon

fallen hero fanfiction chargestep and therapy. this one is uh, long, sorry! ~4.8k words [ao3]

title from [Best to Hate the Man by Mermaidens]

–––

When Dr. Finch enters the room, she does so carefully. A notebook tucked under one arm, one hand holds a cup of coffee, the other a mug of hot chocolate. The steam curls off in twin trails, gently spun by the ceiling fan. She sets the chocolate down on the coffee table in front of you before settling into her own chair.

“Good morning, Ariadne,” Dr. Finch, smiles. “How have been doing this week?” 

You give a weak smile and bend down to take the mug in your hands, feel singe of heat on your fingers contrast against the chill of the A/C. “I’m… I’m still here.”

“I’m glad you are.” You can’t pick up any duplicity there, but it’s hard to believe.

These sessions were supposed to be only once a month. That’s what you promised Ortega. And yet… here you are, two weeks after you last talk with Finch, having made an emergency appointment. After…

After last night.

You curl back into the chair, legs folded under you, bringing the mug close to your chest. “I don’t know that I am.”

Finch already has her notebook open, pen in one hand, coffee in the other. “Did you try the exercises I give you?”

“Yes.” You say immediately, then when Dr. Finch doesn’t say anything you take a sip of hot chocolate, let it burn your throat. “…no.”

Again, that frustrating lack of judgement as Finch watches you. “You’re not sure?”

You almost laugh, jostling the mug. “I don’t– I don’t deserve it.”

“To feel better?” Finch scribbles something in her notebook, the concern in her thoughts is cool, almost calming.

You bite your lip, nod your head.

“What makes you think you don’t deserve to feel better?” Finch glances down to her notepad– Writing? Doodling? Can’t tell from here. But you can still feel her focus on you.

Maybe the chocolate wasn’t the best idea after all. You can already feel the nausea eating at you. “There’s…. there’s a lot things. But…”

Finch waits for you to continue.

You squeeze your eyes shut hard enough to hurt. “I– I– I don’t know how to–” Your voice strains upwards. Sharp note. “To– to talk about it.”

That one’s true enough. You can’t exactly dump everything on this poor woman and expect to get away with it. So much effort to keep everything in, it’s like you lost the key to open the door again. But the rot is reaching critical mass; the stench is detectable from outside, strange pools of liquid leak out under the door.

“Why don’t we practice then?” She glances up at you again. “Whatever’s at the top of your mind. Doesn’t matter what.”

“Whatever’s at the top of…” You bite you lip. You mind’s gone blank now. You could laugh, or cry, or both. “Fuck.” You take a long drink from your mug. Put it back on the coffee table before drawing your knees up against your chest. Wrap your arms around your legs. “D–d–do you… know who–” you flinch, back away from the question, “w–what I am?”

You can only pick up professional curiosity behind Dr. Finch’s polite smile. “I’m happy to listen to whatever you want to share with me, Ariadne.”

“Y–yeah, well… I– I wasn’t…” you’re teetering on the edge here. How many years since you’ve had a conversation like this? Since anyone knew? You’re so tired of hiding. Of being alone. “I wasn’t uh– born a– uh– a woman.”

Finch scribbles something in her notebook and you can feel the anxiety twist in your gut. “Transgender…?”

Grip your legs tighter against you. “Y–y–yeah.”

“I’m honored you’ve decided to share this with me.”

That gets a sharp look from you, again, you can’t pick out any duplicity behind her words. If you were smarter, less desperate, you wouldn’t trust it. “D–d–don’t patronize me.”

“I’m being completely sincere.” Again, to your frustration, she appears to be telling the truth. “This is clearly a difficult subject for you, and I’m honored you’ve trusted me with it.”

“I–I–I just… need you to underst–stand the context,” you swallow, the tightness in your throat a pain, “when I– when I say I… k–k–kissed Ortega.”

“Again?”

You hiss and pull yourself tighter, hide your face behind your knees. “M–m-more then that…”

———

You put up a hand when the server turns to you, “I’m good. Not hungry today.”

“Ari…” Ortega looks over at you with upturned eyebrows. “Have you eaten today?”

You can feel your face heat up as you sink down in the seat. “Fine,” you hiss, “I’ll have the– the same as her.”

Ortega winks at the server again as she turns in her menu. You don’t need telepathy to know she’s got the poor kid hooked. God, you swear she’s gotten even worse compared to the old days.

Or maybe you’ve gotten more sensitive to it.

Ortega leans back with a smile as the server leans. “Feels homey here.”

“Y–you know, you c–c–could do this.” You prop your head up with an arm on the bar, “just retire, g–get a bar…” your smile grows sharp, “flirt with the c–customers all day…”

“I don’t flirt.” Ortega pointedly avoids looking at you as she fails to keep the grin off her face. There’s a twinge and her smile fades, “It’s moot anyway, I’m not retired any more. Blew that chance.”

You look up at her, trying to read the expression on her face. “You ever regret going back?” What do you need to do or say to get her to stop? She quit once, why can’t she quit again? Before she gets hurt.

Ortega’s response however is immediate, “Nope.” She gives you a look, “Do you regret retiring?”

You lean back from the table, focus on looking out the window. You should just lie, say everything’s fine. Nothing to worry about here but then you open your mouth and – “I… I–I don’t know. M–maybe.” You close your eyes and for a moment it feels like the weeks of sleepless nights might catch up with you, pull you under. Then you cringe, shake your head, feel the little pinpricks of pain courtesy your hand digging too tight into your leg.

“Ariadne…”

“D–don’t even start.”

“I’m not asking you to… unretire,” The smile has vanished from Ortega’s face, voice low. “Just to do something about it.”

Watch her from the corner of your eye. Still can’t understand it, why is she trying so hard? What does she care for? “Funny.” Try to keep your face blank, “Thought I was.”

“Is…” Ortega sighs and you catch her glancing around before focusing back on you. “Is the therapy helping any?”

“Oh.” You flinch, turn back from the window to stall for time with a drink from your glass. “I don’t know..” You gesture helplessly at the ceiling. “M–maybe? It’s… it’s a lot. I–I–I don’t want to talk about it right now… S–sorry.”

Still bad enough what you admitted to Dr. Finch. The razors, the bridge, the… all the little iterent thoughts like devils pulling at your head. Whispered promises of stopping, a way out: of ending, of no longer being. Maybe not in detail but – acknowledging it at all… it’s a raw nerve burning in open air now. Ortega’s already bad enough, she doesn’t need to know this.

“It’s fine,” Ortega lies. Always too curious for her own good. “I’m just happy you’re going.”

You narrow your eyes at her, “D–don’t rub it in, Ortega.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” She sips at her beer but her eyes betray the smile on her face.

“Liar.” You drum your fingers on the table, glance over the heads of the crowd towards the back of the restaurant. “How long do you th–think they’ll take?”

Ortega shrugs, a half smile on her face as she watches you. “The Old Fashioned always takes longer,” she explains, as if you could have forgotten.

“I know,” you cut her off, “they make the burger with actual beef.” You and Ortega must have eaten out at Hoots at least once a week those last two years. Too many nights together, just the two of you. This is starting to feel–

“I was feeling a little nostalgic.” Ortega shrugs, still smiling.

You huff and raise an eyebrow at her. “Oh, so it’s y–your fault.”

She laughs, “You ordered it too.”

“Also y–your fault.” You allow yourself a smirk, “You c–can… make it up to me later.” Oh, why did you say that?

A long, slow smile spreads across Ortega’s face until it reaches her eyes, “I wish you’d let me do exactly that.” It’s like she took that wink directed at the server, turned it up to 11 and put you on blast.

“Th–th–that’s not–  um…” You bite your lip, and focus on the cars passing by outside, a tinge of heat on your face as your heart races.

“Mmm? Cat got your tongue, Ari?”

You slide down your seat, “J–j–just shut up. Think about w–what you’ll eat.” You hiss.

“Already am.”

You glance up at her and the smile alone is already is too much and then she winks at you and oh god –

You bury your face in your hands. Shouldn’t have taken off the sunglasses, you’re too exposed without them. “J–j–jesus Christ, Ortega…” What were you thinking, trying to flirt with Ortega? The woman has no sense of shame, and you? Far too much. God. Why can’t you be normal?

The laughter rings in your ears long after it ends. “You okay under there, Ari?”

“Oh,” your voice cracks, “j–j–just wishing I was d–d–dead is all.”

“What happened to all that earlier confidence?”

She hasn’t forgotten about the kiss at either the hospital or the beach, it appears. Neither have you, of course. Dreamed even.

“Th–this is– this is different.” Too real. Too out of your control. Ortega is a current and you’re along just along for the ride. “I–I–I’m trying…” You can’t keep doing this. This has to stop. You’re just setting her up for an even worst heartache down the line. 

It isn’t fair, really. You’ve cast off their rules and you’re still as powerless as ever.

There’s an uneven smile on Ortega’s face. “Never thought I’d see the day.”

You glare at her, suspicious, from between your fingers. “See what day?”

She’s trying not to smile so brightly. Trying and failing. “Oh, well…” She gestures towards you. “You seem like you’re doing a lot better lately.”

You put your arms down, lean back unimpressed. “And what does that mean?”

“Well, you stopped dressing like a hobo for one–”

You gasp, throw your napkin at her, “W–what was wrong with th–the sweatshirts!?”

Ortega laughs as she grabs it out of the air. “–you certainly seem like you’re keeping busy these days, and…”

“And w–what, Ortega?”

She gives you a sly grin, one hand around her drink. “And you certainly seem to be getting back in shape.”

You feel your face warm up.

“Oh yeah,” she tilts her head towards you, “also, you’re smiling more.”

A hand shoots up to cover your mouth and you narrow your eyes at Ortega’s beaming face. “Shut up,” you hiss. “It’s y–y–your fault.”

“My fault?” Ortega laughs.

“It–it’s because you won’t leave me alone.” You jab an accusatory finger in her direction. “Always f–f–fussing, worrying…” Your hand wilts and you look away, her eyes on you suddenly too much. “And I don’t– don’t want you to worry.”

“Ari…?” Ortega’s voice sounds like she’s a million miles away. “Are you okay?”

You dig your nails into your arm, “I’m f–fine.” Your response is maybe a little too fast. Wince, then after a moment’s silence add: “I’m… glad we’re friends again. When you turn back to her, Ortega is looking straight at you with a small, sad smile. “W–what?”

“Nothing, I’m just… glad?”

“Glad?”

“To have you back?” She shrugs and rubs at the back of her neck. “It’s like I can finally… move on now. I don’t want to be the Marshal that screwed up and got half her team killed.”

Hands fiddle with the napkin in front of you and you don’t quite meet her eyes. “Ortega… It wasn’t–”

“Ari…” There’s a heavy sigh, “Let’s not do this right now.”

There’s a switch. You look up at her, “Julia?”

She straightens up as she looks over your shoulder, “And here’s our food!”

You frown. Let the server deliver the food. Chew your lip as Ortega broadens her smile, laughs a little too loudly with the server. Prod the hamburger in front of you. It’s huge. To say nothing of the generous pile of fries framing it on the plate. There’s no way you’re eating this all in one sitting, Ortega watching you or no.

But you’re getting distracted. “Th–this is new.” You say, once the server has left again.

That gets her attention, “What is?”

“You not w–wanting to talk about something.”

Her response is distant, defensive. “Well, everybody has things they don’t want to talk about.

“I guess th–that’s true.” As much as you want to push this harder, well, “I know I d–do.”

Now Ortega’s picking at her fries, as bad as you. “There’s a lot of shit I regret about back then. Thought I’d have to live with it forever.”

Regret?

She brightens up a little, “But now you’re here. And alive.”

“Like n–nothing ever changed.”

Did that come off too bitter? Ortega winces. “Or…” She twists a fry in her fingers, “maybe everything has.”

“Everything come out alright, girls?” The server is back and you have to fight to keep your face blank as Ortega smiles at him.

“It’s amazing, give my compliments to the cook, won’t you?” She winks and you could swear you feel the boy’s heart rate spike.

“And th–there’s something that hasn’t changed,” you mutter as the server leaves. You’d swear he’d float if he could.

“What?” Ortega frowns, like she doesn’t know what’s going on.

“Flirting with the– with the staff again?”

“What?” Picture of innocence? Please.

You grit your teeth. “Y–y–you know what I’m t–talking about Julia.” You should just drop this. Don’t let her get to you. In fact, why do you even care? You don’t. Care that is. Why would you? Absurd.

She hides her smile with another drink. “Why would you even, hm…”

“W–what?” You voice pitches up, “Even– even what?”

“Ariadne,” her smile is a little too broad for your liking and you can feel your face warm. “Are you jealous?”

“I– I don’t–” You sink down in your seat under Ortega’s full attention. “Y–you flirt with– with everybody. H–h–how am I s–supposed to– supposed to know w–what you mean?”

Ortega stays focused on you, but her expression shifts. Less confident, more guarded. “You can be pretty hard to read yourself, you know.”

You focus on the hamburger in front you, still untouched. Take a breath, in then out. “Th–there’s easy– easier ways of f–finding out.”

The hole of Ortega’s silence against the background dim of the bar feels overwhelming. You’re about to get up, make some excuse of needing to use the restroom when Ortega shifts in her seat too and you freeze. Look up at her.

She catches your eye, holds your gaze. “Alright.” She takes a breath, makes a face as she thinks. “Well, Ariadne, it would appear that I seem to be having a crush on you.”

“Oh.” You sit back down. It feels like you’ve been punched in the lungs, “fuck.” You bury your face in your hands again, feeling lightheaded. You’re going to wake up at any moment now. Right?

Ortega watches you with a wry look, “I don’t know how to interpret that.”

Slam your hands down on the table, narrowly avoid spilling your water. “F–f–fuck! Fine! Asshole! J–jackass! Y–y–you’re h–h–hot! Okay!?”

“Ariadne–”

You’re spiraling out of control now, hands holding on to the sides of your head. “Y–you’re r–r–really p–pretty and– and s–smart and k–kind and– and– and…” You glare at her, daring her to say something. “I–I–I c–c–can’t stop th–thinking about you!”

Ortega blinks. “Wow.”

Your face feels like it’s on fire and you slide down the seat. “F–f–fuck.”

“You went all-in there.”

“F–fuck you.”

“Only if you’re good.”

You blanche and look back up at her.

“I’m sorry, that was hard for you, I get it.” She’s not… smiling exactly, but there’s this soft glow on her face. The way her eyes focus on you and oh god. “Thank you.”

“Th–thank you?”

“For… I don’t know?” She laughs nervously, “For this? For saying something?”

This… this can’t really be happening. This isn’t how you imagined this conversation going in a million years. This isn’t something you deserve, and you’ve got one last card you can throw at her to prove it. “So… w–what about Jane?”

The expression on Julia’s face freezes. “Ah. You… you know about Jane then?”

“D–did you think I– that I wouldn’t?”

She winces, “It’s not exactly come up.”

It’s like grabbing the blade of a knife with your bare hands but you don’t let go. “Y–you go on d–dates to public events, Ortega.”

“Ah. That is true…”

You knew it. You knew this was too good to be true. Why would Ortega ever want to date something like you when there’s someone like Jane? Young, pretty, funnier, able to do things you never can.

“I hope she doesn’t take it too hard.”

Wait, what? You straighten up in your seat. “Huh?”

Ortega rubs her neck, avoiding your eyes. “I guess I haven’t really been fair to Jane. It’s just…”

“Just w–what?” What is she talking about?

“Nothing,” Ortega shakes her head in a way that makes you think it’s very much not nothing.

“W–wait. You’d… your seriously go–going to break up with her?” You feel faint again.

“We were never officially dating or anything,” Ortega protests, “But you or Jane? It’s no contest, Ari.”

“Just like that?” This is too wild.

“Look. You want the truth?” Ortega sighs, takes another drink. “I was trying to get over you.”

“Oh.” Your voice is quiet and your body feels entirely too light. “W–w–well. Th–that worked out, huh?”

The smile returns to her face, “Now I can enjoy fantasizing about kissing you, guilt free.”

“W–w–wait, what?”

———

Dr. Finch watches you with a soft smile as you lapse into silence. “I’m proud of you, Ariadne.”

You snap your head up, “wait? Why?” Fight back the temptation to just dig out the answer yourself.

Finch is writing something in her notebook but she pauses to smile at you again. “In the short time we’ve known each other, you’ve easily spent at least two-thirds of every session talking about Miss Ortega.”

Wait really?

“So,” Finch continues, “it’s been pretty clear to me you care about her a great deal. I’m glad to hear it’s both mutual and out in the open now.”

“B–but…”

“Yes?”

You press your head against your knees, fingers digging into your legs. “She… she doesn’t know.” Nausea again. Hands shaking, breathing a little too quickly.

Finch’s voice is calm, gentle. “Doesn’t know what?”

———

Like old times, Ortega insists on paying for you. You can’t hide the smile during your perfunctory argument. You feel light-headed, but in a good way. Like you could pull a Herald and float an inch off the ground. You don’t put up a fight when Ortega insists you take the rest of your dinner home with you. Maybe you will even finish eating later, like you promised you would.

Ortega follows behind you out of the bar as you gently shove the box into your purse. “Well,” she says, “I think that might be the best dinner I’ve had in months. But you know what would make an even better desert?”

You close your eyes as you knowingly step into the trap. “W–what?”

She glances at you, as smug as anything. “You.”

Even knowing it’s coming doesn’t stop your face from catching fire. You spin on your heel, intending to shush her with your finger. Instead she catches your hand by the wrist. “You’ve got some ketchup on your finger, Ari.”

Some kind of half-strangled squeak comes out of your throat as Ortega kisses the tip of your finger. There’s a flash of a smile at your reaction and she sucks your finger into her mouth – warm and soft and wet and oh fucking christ. You yank your hand back from her, ears burning as you stagger back a step.

Before you can collapse or fall over Ortega grabs your arm again and pulls you towards her and you fall against her instead into the street. “C–c–christ Julia…”

Ortega laughs, “Sorry, was that too forward?”

“J–j–just surprised.” You find yourself laughing too, and then relaxing against her chest, letting her arms hold you up. 

“So then…?” She glances down at you, questioning and you find yourself brushing your hair back. Smile a little too widely. She smiles back and tugs you along. Past Hoots, and then down into the alleyway.

Back against brickwork, Ortega framed by the light, holding you there.  You put a hand over hers on your shoulder. Heart pounding and you can’t think straight, can’t focus. It’s just you and her and you’re not running away from this, not this time. What have got yourself into girl?

You laugh first, light nervous energy thrumming across your limbs and then Ortega joins in. Laughter melts into touch and breath and you’re really doing this huh? Kissing Ortega again, your lips on her skin, between her teeth. It feels different, not an act of madness, a different kind of electricity coiling in your gut. Julia’s hand at your back, holding you steady, fingers brushing against bare skin under your shirt–

Your heart seizes and you freeze, one hand digging into her arm a little too tightly.

Ortega pulls back, letting go. “Ari? Are you alright? What happened?”

You run your hands down your front, tug your shirt down. Nothing can be exposed, nothing can be showing. “It’s f–f–fine.” Your hands are shaking in betrayal but there’s not a lot you can do about that. You messed up. You screwed up. What were you thinking. You can’t do this. Be this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

She steps away, giving you space, “It’s obviously not fine, Ari… Did I do something wrong?”

“Y–y–your f–fine!” You hunch down, hugging yourself, struggling to remember your breathing exercises. “It–it–it isn’t your– your fault, I just– I just…” You feel dizzy, nauseous. Almost wish Julia would at least hold you, but she doesn’t, giving you space instead.

“It’s okay, Ari. You’re okay” She’s watching you with worried eyes and it’s a twist of the knife. Impossible not to pretend. You’re damaged. A weirdo, a freak. What kind of person reacts like this? Normal people don’t. People don’t.

How could you forget? What’s wrong with you? You’re a thing, a ghost. You’ve got no business getting involved with Julia like this, and now she can see it. Plain as day.

“It’s– It’s not,” your voice breaks, “I n–n–need to– need to go.”

This was a mistake.

You turn to escape and something pulls your arm, hold you back even as you tense up. Follow Julia’s hand up to her face, worried. Concerned. “Ari, talk to me. Please.”

Shake your hand free, still trembling. “I–I–I can’t. I just– I can’t. I–I’m sorry.”

———

You dig into your leg, finger tracing patterns. “And– and then I j–just ran.”

“I’m sorry that happened.” Dr. Finch says, quiet and honest as ever.

“I–I–I haven’t t–talked to her since.”

“Since?” Dr. Finch tilts her head, mind a careful, infuriating, blank.

“This was… was two w–weeks ago, now.”

“What prompted you to call me last night?”

“I…” You drift off, avoid her looking at you. You don’t want to admit to having stared at the bottle of kitchen bleach a little too long last night. Every attempt you’ve discussed has been safely in the past. Not immediate. What if she suggests something? Alerts someone? You can’t risk it.

So instead you say: “She– she keeps trying to contact me. W–w–wants to talk. About it.”

“I think  it would good for you to do that.”

“W–why?” You snap back, “I–I’m just– just a drain on her. And– and now she knows.” You bite your lip. “M–maybe not exactly, b–but that I–I’m messed up. B–broken.”

“First,” Finch scribbles something down. “you’ve been through a lot in your life. That doesn’t make you ‘broken.’ And neither does being transgender. It’s okay to not always ‘be’ okay.”

You stay quiet. It’s easier than arguing. You wish it was true.

“Second, I’ll remind you who got you into this room to begin with. I sincerely doubt that the fact you are struggling at times is a surprise to Miss Ortega.”

This one you can’t leave alone. “I–I’m such a– such a burden on her though.” Not to mention her enemy as Adrestia. Not that you can confess that, even here.

“Has she ever said as such to you?”

You avoid Finch’s gaze. “N–n–no, but– she… she k–keeps saying I w–worry her.”

“And that bothers you.”

You look across the room at Finch, feeling helpless. “Yes?”

“Why?”

Your mouth feels dry, throat tight. You pull at your hair, avoiding look at Finch. “I–I… I don’t know. I…” You laugh, nervous energy overwhelming you. “I–I’m scared?”

“You’re scared of Ortega worrying about you?”

You laugh. “I– I guess I am.”

“Why?”

You stay quiet. Mind locked up in a silent panic. There’s an answer in there someone but it’s too terrible, too painful to grasp.

Finch shuffles some papers. “And now she has expressed interest in a relationship.”

“W–w–well…”

“Ariadne, have you ever been in a relationship before?”

Your heart freezes, and a tight smile forms on Dr. Finch’s face.

“Do you want to be? With Miss Ortega?”

“I… I don’t–” your voice pitches up, throat tight, “maybe?”

“We briefly talked about your being transgender before. Does that have something to do with why you find this so difficult?”

You choke back a laugh before it can turn into a sob. Yeah, sure, that’s one of the many impossibilities about this. You’d forgotten you were using that as the shield to even have this conversation.

Finch’s voice is quiet, “You don’t have to tell her anything you don’t want to Ari–”

“B–but–”

She holds up a finger, “this is clearly a sticking point for you. Perhaps telling Ortega is something you should consider. Once it’s out in the open, you’ll have a better idea how to proceed.”

Tell Ortega? And then where does it stop? You might as well ask her to ship you back to the Farm from the start and get it over with.

“Or… Or…” You grit you teeth, swallow hard. “I c–could just… avoid Ortega forever.”

Finch watches you with sad eyes and she really is trying her best. It’s not her fault she doesn’t have the full picture. “But is that going to make you happy, Ariadne?”

You don’t even laugh as you sink into the chair. “Th–that’s n–never mattered.”

Dr. Finch sighs and shuffles some papers, flipping through her notebook. Her frustration with you clear in her thoughts. “We’re about out of time for today, but I’d really like to continue this sooner rather than later.”

You watch her as she taps a pen against paper.

“How are you for this time next week? Would you be willing to meet then?”

Part of you wants to say no, but… she wants to help. She… cares somehow. As nonsensical as it is. It’s not like you’ll be busy that day now that you’re avoiding Ortega. Come to think of it, Ortega is sort of avoiding you too. It’s been a while since Jane’s seen her at the training dojo. Not looking forward to that conversation.

“Ariadne?” Dr. Finch is looking at you.

You cough, “Th–that’s fine. I’d… I’d like that.” Are you lying or telling the truth? You can never tell anymore.

[brainyxbat]

10 Vesabi Activities

Picture: https://www.deviantart.com/brainyxbat/art/Vesabi-799209211

Inspired by @wasabis-no-singer (and anonymous) Honeybi headcanons! Will be updated randomly, so keep looking!

They do yoga together.

Wasabi teaches Venus to drive.

They have a date at Wasabi’s place, where he makes sushi for them. And later,  on a date at her place, Venus tries to make a Hawaiian meal with a recipe from her mother. They wind up going out for pizza.

They go to a fair/carnival; Wasabi wins a big prize for Venus at a game, and despite his fear of heights, rides the Ferris wheel with her. She has trouble boarding the carousel, due to her short height, so he helps her up.

In the San Fransokyo mall, they go to their favorite stores: “The Organized Gentleman”, and “Goth Pop” (Hot Topic parody). They spoil each other endlessly.

Wasabi surprises Venus with a Halloween/birthday trip to Disneyland! (Her birthday is on Oct. 9) Although he regrets riding the Teacups with her, Venus’ happiness is more important to him than anything. He even rides the Haunted Mansion (w/ NBC makeover) with her! Not to mention he spoils her with an excessive amount of presents, and all the treats she can eat!

They have tickle fights together, in either of their beds; Wasabi, being much stronger than tiny, 5′1″, 103 lb. Venus, is always victorious.

Venus jokingly tries to dress Wasabi in Goth clothes.

They watch “The Mermaiden’s Tale” (mentioned in “Mini-Max”), crying with each other at the harpoon scene.

Wasabi knits Venus a cardigan on impulse, though is afraid of her thoughts on his hobby. But she loves it, and is fully supportive! (Inspired by “Lie Detector”)

[childlikemermaid]

Peas in a Pod || Ephyra&Leia&Pia

๑ @mermaiden-of-the-sea & @whatsunderthewater ๑

After a lot of time was spent at each booth going over the different flower meanings (which she still didn’t fully understand), Pia had finally found the perfect flowers for her bestest of best friends. Truth be told, she wanted to buy them all of the flowers, but that didn’t leave much room for anyone else. And as much as she loved them, she didn’t want to hog them for the holidays. That wouldn’t be very fair...

“Leiaaaa~♪ Ephyraaaa~♪”

The mermaid sang their names while she swam into their cove and pulled herself up to sit on the edge of the pool inside. In one hand, wrapped safely and tightly for protection from the water, were two red alstroemerias and two yellow roses - one of each flower for each mermaid.

[kumquatjammers]

Valentine Date 1💖🍰

Valentine Date 1💖🍰 by moon-mermaidens featuring rose home decor ❤ liked on Polyvore

Alexander mcqueen dress / Longsleeve dress / Bubble top, $12 / Fogal lace hosiery, $35 / Vintage style pumps / Earring jewelry / Antique garnet ring / Topshop jewelry / Moschino heart glasses, $340 / Hair clip accessory / Fashion Fair long wearing lipstick / Rose home decor, $13 / Heart home decor / Flower home decor / Laura Dare Nightgown & Robe (Little Girls) Pink 6X / Preowned Agent Provocateur Sexy Red Bow Heels Slides Size 36 / 6 Made... / Burberry Bow Detail Heart Padlock Key Charm

[dreammasterworld]

Mermaiden's School of Fine Training: Double Lance part 2

down the field at the 218th, "Is everybody ready" Coral was asking. This was more geared towards her for she never liked being faired across anything much less a battlefield. Running her hands over the black skin of her mount feeling the muscles rippling below it's sleek skin, the Abaiacamp that had befriend her on the last visit to these fields. "Ship, there coming" Clarissa said looking over Coral's shoulder. Looking down at the third member and getting the thumbs up as they started moving as a team. The quarter mile was being eaten up by both mounts, "Ready.. go!" Coral screamed as Clarissa was now the lancer. Xia broke formation to swoop Coral up into the the green waters above. Watching all of this but with a lance still boring down on him he gave the signal for the rest of the team to stop.

Xia looped high up, thrusting with everything she has until the apex of the loop. Coral had made herself just like a bomb complete with the detonator cap of her harpoon. Seeing what was going on so far below them Xia thrust out to achieve maximum velocity. Jetting down from a half mile up, tucking her winged cowl as the speed grew faster. "Get ready.. three.. two one" Xia finished the count down and released Coral on a devastating impact course right between the knight and his troops. The impact could be felt for miles around, the 218ths men lay scattered like little toys strewn from a toy box. General 'Blaster' Guppy was ejected from his trusty steed, his lance and shield were buried in the field. The knight struggling to get back to his flippers. "Good play my pray" he growled, seeing all five of his men laying scattered around the field and a cloud of black ink where the impact originated. Drawing his harpoon, a more hardy stock then that of the schools, a wider more defined blade then that of the military grade. Only seeing blue as he approached the cloud of black ink, thrusting into the cloud as his rage intensified. With each thrust coming back with nothing just made him see the pounding blue vein's that where popping out of his eyes. One last thrusting, one last miss, resistance being felt as he tried to pull his harpoon back. Rage that had inspired this thrusting had turned against him in the end, ripping his harpoon from the General hands, shoving a simple school harpoon out of the ink and right to his throat. "Good game.. I don't ride though" Coral whispered just loud enough for just him to hear. "Bwahahaha.." side stepping the harpoon and raising Coral's hand in victory, "..We have a new winner, Coral!" Leaving her with everything she had acquired in this test of skill he swam to his mount then saluted Coral. "Come on boys let's go home for our r & r" General 'Blaster' Guppy said as the lance followed their commander off the field. "Wow, that was intense.. come come let's go home before I forget the slightest detail, this is Dr. Rusty 'Narrator' McIves saying see ya my sea cucumbers!"

[libraryofrewrita]

Chapter 19: Mermaiden Rescue

After Nate and Katie talked to their parents about staying in Harrisville again later that day, they got on the train and discussed whether to stop at Harrisville or San Fantasico first.

"What's San Fantasico like? I've never been there before."

"It's pretty much a fishing town, Whisper."

The Yo-kai butler nodded and said,

"I used to go to fishing villages a lot before my imprisionment. Mostly because Shogunyan liked to fish in his spare time."

Whisper pulled up a map of San Fantasico and softly hummed as he tapped the locations they needed to head to when they got there.

"Do you know which cave Mermaiden's statue is in?"

"Assuming that Toiletta wasn't messing with me when I asked her, Mermaiden's statue is most likely in the same cave where we can fight the Ben Tover we need for the other upgrade."

The group wondered if there was any strong Yo-kai in that cave, which would explain Predictabul's warning about being prepared to fight when they rescued Mermaiden.

"Did we make up our minds about where we're going yet?"

"Oh, right. We're going to San Fantasico first. We're already talking about it and there's Yo-kai we'll have to fight, which will take up most of the afternoon. After that, we'll go to Harrisville for the night and free the statues there tomorrow after we've rested up."

"Very well. It'll give you two time to figure out how we're going to free Gnomey tomorrow."

Oh, right. Totally forgot about freeing Gnomey.

As soon as the train got into the San Fantasico station, the group got out and after looking over the map on Whisper's tablet, they tracked down the places they had to go in order to find the Chummer, Chansin, and Ben Tover they needed to fight in order to get to B Rank.

*****

After tracking down and fighting Chansin and Chummer, they headed towards the cave where Ben Tover and supposedly Mermaiden's statue was located.

"There's a C Rank Watch Lock Door here. Good thing Mr. Goodsight gave us that upgrade orb. This is going to be a piece of cake."

As the Watch Lock Door disappeared, Whisper said,

"Don't get your hopes up yet. If Mermaiden's statue is here, there's Predictabul's warning to think about."

With that thought in mind, they carefully made their way into the cave.

"There's Mermaiden!"

Whisper pointed towards the center of the cave where they were able to see the statue, which was surrounded by water.

"Great! We just have to get over there, free Mermaiden, and be on our way!"

"Battle. There's still a battle we have to deal with. Well, two since we have to find Ben Tover and fight him as well, asuming we can find him."

The group seemed to be the only ones in the cave and as they carefully walked along the somewhat slippery path, the only things they were able to hear was the water dripping from the stalactites, the water lapping around them, and their footsteps echoing along the cave walls. It gave the group an eerie feeling, like they were about to walk into Terror Time, but somehow worse.

"There's Mermaiden's statu! Let's just free her and get out of here as quickly as possible!"

They approached the statue and looked all around, Nate and Katie shining their Yo-kai Watches to check for hidden danger as Whisper fumbled with the bottle of Rock-Away Extract, but before he could sprinkle any of it onto Mermaiden's statue, they heard a booming voice, which was made worse with the echoes of the cave.

"AHOY! Who's there? Who dares disturb my statuesque siren?!"

Suddenly, a large pirate Yo-kai appeared, startling everyone in the area. Whisper quickly put the bottle of Rock-Away Extract and pulled out his Yo-kai Pad, ready to give out information at a moment's notice.

"If ye be wanting to lay a finger on fair Mermaiden, ye best fear Cap'n Crash! For she's MY bride, and I'll not be letting anyone else have 'er!"

Although there was still a feeling of terror, out of everyone, Jibanyan was the one that questioned the idea of Mermaiden's statue being the supposed bride of Cap'n Crash.

"Your...bride?! You knyow she's a statue, right?!"

The pirate Yo-kai seemed to ignore the last part of Jibanyan's reasonably questioning statement as he said,

"I don't mean ta brag, but it was love at first sight all those many moons ago. I caught a glimspe o' her in the waves...lost many a ship tryin' to find 'er again."

He adjusted the anchor he was carrying before he continued,

"Ashamed o' my sea o' failures, I drifted into a storm of regret for months on end. Sailin' through an ocean o' regret is a true mark of manhood!"

And that's something you're bragging about?!

"Let me prove it to ye...I'll make ye regret ever steppin' foot in here!"

****

Jibanyan and the Koma Brothers barely managed to jump out of the way of the swinging anchor as Nate and Katie quickly summoned Tattletell, Brushido, and Tongus.

"Whisper! Any information about this guy?"

"I'm looking, I'm looking! Just keep him distracted!

Cap'n Crash...Cap'n Crash...aha!

Whisper started muttering to himself as he read an important part of the article he was reading.

"If he summons a helm, destory it as quickly as possible or the battle will be more difficult...? Come on, give me more than that!"

He looked up to see that the battling Yo-kai was managing to give Cap'n Crash a run for his money and he hoped that the helm thing didn't happen, or at least he hoped it didn't happen until he could find out what the helm did to affect the battle.

"Nya! Where did these chains come from?!"

The six battling Yo-kai were suddenly wrapped in ghostly chains and as they struggled to escape the chains, Whisper saw a helm appear in front of Cap'n Crash. Through his shock, he managed to yell,

"Destory the helm!"

Just as the Yo-kai in front were about to send a few elemental attacks towards the helm, the entire circle of Yo-kai was suddenly spun counter-clockwise at least twice before Jibanyan, Tattletell, and Brushido were in the back row and the Koma Brothers and Tongus were in the front row, all of them dizzy, but still able to send a few elemental attacks towards the helm. When the group saw that the Yo-kai were stuck in their current spots, Whisper put his Yo-kai Pad away and quickly went to work trying to break the chains off of Jibanyan since he was the closest Yo-kai to him while the attacks on the helm and Cap'n Crash increased.

Please be breakable, please be breakable...

Whisper looked at the glowing chains in his hands, trying to find the weak links that were common with chain Inspiritments like this, but to his dismay, he couldn't find any.

"Dang it!"

Lucas knelt down by Whisper's side and took the chains into his hands just as Komasan managed to throw a fireball at the helm, destorying it and freeing everyone from the chains. The Yo-kai quickly scrambled to finish off Cap'n Crash before he could pull the same stunt again and after throwing enough attacks, he fell to his knees.

*****

After they watched Cap'n Crash disappear into the familiar puff of purple smoke and collected whatever he dropped, Whisper got out the Rock-Away Extract to free Mermaiden from her rocky fate. He sprinkled it onto the statue and like before, a bright light appeared where the statue had been.

*****

Mermaiden's Flashback:

She sat in the shade of the trees surrounding Harrisville Elementary, trying to stay cool. She was too used to the coolness of her cave back in San Fantasico and while she had promised Toiletta that she would visit her in Harrisville, she didn't count on it being so hot today. She did know that there was a river somewhere in Harrisville, but she didn't know where it was and she hadn't seen any other Yo-kai since she arrived, so she couldn't ask them.

"They're probably staying out of the heat today. I can't really blame them if that's the case."

She was starting to wonder if she would have to wait until nightfall when it get cool enough for her to head back to San Fantasico when she saw a blue cat Yo-kai floating by, only to stop and look towards her.

"I don't remember seeing you here before."

"That's because I usually live in San Fantasico. I just came here to visit a friend, but I didn't think it would be so hot here today."

He nodded and said,

"Some friends of mine are heading to the river to cool off. Care to come with us?"

She nodded and as she got up, she noticed two human boys rush over to the cat Yo-kai.

"Hovernyan! There you are! We need some help and-"

They stopped mid-sentence when they noticed Mermaiden.

"Oh, sorry. We didn't notice you there."

She just shrugged.

"It's fine."

"Are you a Water Attribute Yo-kai, by any chance?"

"I am. Why?"

"Thank Lord Enma! We didn't have any Water Attribute Yo-kai to help us with something near the river. Would you mind helping us?"

"Sure, if you'll be my friend. I only have one friend here in Harrisville and no humans in San Fantasico can see me, so it would be nice to know more humans. I'm Mermaiden, by the way. That's M-e-r-m-a-i-d-e-n."

Hovernyan just looked at her with confusion on his face.

"I thought it was spelled M-e-r-m-a-i-d-y-n?"

"That's just how I prefer to spell my name. You'll at least know it's me specifically if I decide to contact you."

The human boys just shrugged.

"Fair enough. We're Nathaniel Adams and Kenny Forester. Come on. We'll fill both of you in on what's happening on the way to the river."

*****

Mermaiden shook her head as she took a moment to process the fact that she was no longer a statue and that she was in her cave back in San Fantasico.

"How long has it been?"

"About sixty years and a long story."

They filled Mermaiden in on what was happening and she said,

"Well, I can't just stay here while there's a timeline to save!"

She gave them her medal and after promising to meet them in Harrisville, whether it was in the past or the present and she disappeared. The group quickly tracked down Ben Tover and when they finshed fighting him, they rushed out of the cave just in time to notice that the sun was setting over San Fantasico.

"We better hurry and catch the train to Harrisville before it gets dark."

"Hey, Lucas. Where did you get that chain?"

Lucas looked at the chain in his hands that was now surround with a golden glow.

"This? I was holding it when Cap'n Crash's helm broke. I guess I forgot about it when we were saving Mermaiden and dealing with Ben Tover. But why is it glowing gold?"

Lucas attempted to give the chain to Whisper, hoping he could find an explanation for this when the chain suddenly disappeared the moment it left Lucas's hands.

"Hmm...very odd. It didn't disappear with the other chains when the helm was broken, but the moment it left your hands, it vanishes like the other chains..."

As much as they wanted to figure out that mystery, the setting sun reminded them that they still had a train to Harrisville to catch and statues to free the next day.

Previous Chapter: https://libraryofrewrita.tumblr.com/post/181116016709/chapter-18-finding-predictabul

Next Chapter: https://libraryofrewrita.tumblr.com/post/181392171284/chapter-20-finishing-things-in-present

[everysinglestarbucks]

“Love knows not distance; it hath no continent; its eyes are for the Starbucks.” - Gilbert Parker

If Stalkbucks Quest is to succeed, I’ve got to think locally. I travel to the next-closest location to Green Lake, a nondescript Starbucks attached to a dry cleaner. Now you can spill coffee on your suit and have the stain removed immediately! Such self-fulfilling convenience.

I decide I’m hungry, so I try the strangely-stylized {Thai-Style Peanut Chicken} Wrap. It says it’s “NEW” which I guess is better than “OLD AND STALE.” It contains grapes, the most Thailand fruit I can think of.† (To be fair, it’s only Thai-Style, not actually Thai – those clever corporate loopholes.) 

It’s also six bucks.

It’s fine.

The patio here has umbrellas ghostily-laden with inverted mermaidens on their underside, like some Shroud-of-Turinesque residue.§ But that leg-concerned business woman is nowhere to be found, inside or outside. I must continue my search, pressing ever-onward.

Where the Buck?: Roosevelt Square (Roosevelt Way NE and NE 65th St) Order: {Thai-Style Peanut Chicken} Wrap Bathroom Code: 25825¶  Starbucks Count: 21

† I did some research‡ and it turns out Thailand might just be the unlikeliest country for growing grapes, due to its temperature, soil, strong aversion to raisins, etc. – but apparently they’re rebels who eschewed tradition, went against the vine grip of Big Grape, and became superb wine-making outliers. Starbucks is educational!

‡ Googled “grapes thailand”

§ I briefly pause in remembrance of the many casualties of The Mermaid Wars, wondering how many fell trying to defend their mythical drip coffee recipe that we humans so mercilessly stripped them of. But I snap out of it, knowing the cost was undoubtedly worth the Great Bean Reward.

¶ Ugh, pattern-breaking yet again. But there is a discernible Vertical Alignment hidden in this keypad clue. More data needed.

[notyuta]

what do mermaids (mermaiden???? MERMEN????????) even drink maybe he can't promote soda anymore. tragic. post some seaweed cocktail king i don't care 🙏

KING I still think it's Tuesday, April 7th please..... I love seaweed I would even comment your post !!