#the fact that he’s a teenager acting out in desperation and confusion and hurt and loneliness is like
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zairas-realm-gateway · 2 days ago
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Ooooh my god, I'm on season 9 of my SPN rewatch (about halfway through) and something finally makes sense to me this time around.
Sam is going through his teenage rebellion phase!
You're probably thinking "but Zaira, he already had that when he was an actual teenager"!
Yes but that was rebelling against his biological father. But now he's finally able to rebel against his actual parent.
And why is this? Because the trials catapulted them both back into their parent-child relationship. Because from the second that Dean picks up on the fact that the trials are making Sam sick, Dean slides into parent mode. He starts to make decisions pre-emptively to keep Sam safe and relaxed when a caretaker!sibling would ask if the injured sibling would ask if they're good to keep working. He prepares and brings food/drink to Sam repeatedly when a sibling would ask if the injured sibling wants something to eat or drink. At this point, sibling!Dean has gone dormant and parentified!Dean has reawakened.
Because Dean has reverted to this programming, he has reverted to the desperate need to do anything to keep his child alive, even if the child hates him. A mindset that parents are trapped in.
The first sibling thought that Dean has had is to leave to give them both distance to recover and give Sam space.
Where Dean is acting like a parent, Sam is acting like his child.
It is completely reasonable for Sam to be upset over how Dean saved him and to keep making decisions for him. But it's how he's going about being angry at Dean is rather childlike or teenager like. Not childish, but childlike.
He's moody and hurt when Dean leaves even though Dean explains it to give Sam space. A few episodes later, they're working on a case and Dean tries to do it by himself so Sam can be comfortable but Sam gets upset at Dean for abandoning him. Dean finally caves and admits he wants to be near Sam. Sam says he wants that but also states that they're not brothers anymore right now.
This setup is why I'm saying that Sam is acting a bit in a childlike manner. Because even though he's rebelling against Dean and pushing away him away (which is reasonable) but also needs Dean to be near him (abused children can have a confusing, clingy relationship with their parent even if fighting). Sam wants him close (physical proximity and possibly emotionally) but also keeps throwing up barriers that Dean doesn't know how to navigate.
He wants Dean to talk honestly with him (which Dean tries to be) nd see reason but then when Sam explains himself he's still being vague in his answers. Saying things that are honest but also worded in a way that will purposely cut at Dean's soul. When if Sam added more detail to responses, Dean would still be hurt but understand more clearly. Dean has a lot of insecurities and anxieties, he has an incredibly brittle core, he needs deeper details in order to get an actual picture of what Sam is feeling.
Like when they're in the kitchen, Dean tells Sam that he'd do anything to get Sam out of a coma. He says that Sam would do the same. Sam's like "no, I wouldn't." Dean is visibly injured by these words as Sam leaves. This answer feels petty and childish because he obviously wants to injure Dean, to lash out in retaliation.
A more mature way (which sam usually is) of saying this , is to explain why he would let Dean pass away. He could have said something like "because you deserve to rest", "Because it's cruel to force you to keep going", "Because you've already done so much for everyone", etc. Anything to explain why he would let it happen so that Dean isn't left feeling gutted.
What I'm trying to say is that this season, both Sam and Dean are emotionally injured. That injury has regressed them to the default setting John programmed them to be: Parent and Child.
This programming makes it nearly impossible for them to find their footing as equal brothers because they're instinctively finding themselves in the power-imbalance of a parent-child relationship.
So, again, John fucked their lives.
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studebakerhearse · 2 years ago
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Waylon fucken Jones
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goldfades · 9 months ago
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👒 i love angsty jack hughes
𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐧 | jh⁸⁶
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♡ ─ word count | 668
♡ ─ warnings | angst angst ANGST! unrequited love, but thats it
♡ ─ ev's notes | oh YES WE DO. angsty jack is so underrated
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For your entire life, you had been chasing after Jack. Ever since you'd been a teenager, he was a big part of your life. He could do no wrong in your eyes - and when he did, there was somehow a way to justify it because somehow, you knew he loved you.
But this was it, he had finally done it.
You scoffed and got up from the lawn chair, running back inside as you felt the lump in your throat begin to form. You had given him all the chances in the world and somehow, someway he still found a way to choose someone over you; like he always did.
"Y/N! Fuck, come back." Jack's voice echoed through the home as you walked off to the garage, to drive home. As you stormed into the garage, the weight of the situation bore down on you. The scent of gasoline and the dim light from a single hanging bulb filled the space. Your hands trembled as you fumbled with the keys to your car, struggling to hold back the tears threatening to spill over.
"What's wrong?" Jack's voice sounded desperate.
You turned to face him, your eyes flashing with a mix of anger and hurt. "What's wrong? How could you." You spoke bitterly.
Jack's expression shifted between confusion and remorse, his eyes searching yours for some semblance of understanding. "Y/N, please. Just tell me what I did wrong. I can fix it."
The lump in your throat grew as you tried to contain the emotions bubbling within you. "You chose her. You chose her again, over me."
"What do you mean?" Jack watched and you could see the guilt in his eyes. He knows, he's just acting stupid.
"Open your fucking eyes, Jack!" Your shout echoed throughout the garage, your frustration evident. Jack looked taken aback as he gazed back at you. "I've been waiting for you since... I don't even remember. I chose you every single time and you chose everyone except me. And you knew. You knew I loved you and took full advantage of the fact that I'd do anything for you. and I knew that, I just kept at it hoping that one day you'd finally choose me back."
Jack's face contorted with realization. "Y/N, I never meant to hurt you. I didn't think it would end up like this."
A bitter laugh escaped you. "You never meant to hurt me? Do you even hear yourself, Jack? You've been hurting me for years, and I've been fooling myself into thinking you'd change."
He took a hesitant step closer, his desperation palpable. "I care about you, more than you know. It's just complicated."
"How is choosing me complicated?" Your voice sounded soft, hurt evident in your tone. Jack didn't know what to say, how to fix this situation - but the truth was, he couldn't. Tears threatened to spill over, but you refused to let them. You had shed enough tears over Jack, wasted enough time hoping for a love that would never be reciprocated.
Jack's gaze softened, a flicker of hurt crossing his features. "I know I've made mistakes," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I never stopped caring about you. I never stopped loving you."
With a heavy heart, you took a step back, creating a chasm between you and the man who had once been the center of your world. "I can't do this anymore, Jack," you whispered, the words a final plea for understanding.
He reached out, his hand trembling as if searching for something to hold onto. "Please, don't leave," he begged, his voice cracking with desperation. The silence stretched between you, heavy with emotion. Jack's eyes brimmed with remorse, his expression a mirror of the regret etched into your own heart.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, the words a desperate plea for forgiveness. But forgiveness wasn't something you could give lightly, not when the wounds ran so deep.
He'd lost the realest thing he'd ever had.
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-> make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated! <-
thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
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artemismoorea03 · 1 year ago
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Jim Gordon had seen a lot of things in all his years as both an officer and Commissioner but for the most part things stayed at an arms length or he was able to easily separate himself from situations. Of course, there were incidents that were a bit harder to seperate from like Barbara becoming paralyzed due to Joker, all the times he or Barabara nearly died, kidnappings, and watching friends and loved ones either die or go down a dark path, but for the most part his life wasn't too crazy.
At least that was until one summer that all changed rather dramatically. In the form of a redhaired teenager showing up at his police station. She was around 17 and was wearing teal pants, a black shirt and a teal headband. But no matter her age or what she was wearing it didn't change the fact that she looked like Barabra had when she was younger.
That mixed with the fact that she specifically asked to see 'Jim Gordon' was something that made all of the Gotham PD point her in his direction. Once they were face to face the girl let out a shaky breath.
"My name is Jasmine Fenton, I'm your second cousin and I need your help protecting my brother from my parents and Batman."
Jim was shocked, blinking confusion away as he held up his hand. "Wait wait. You're my-"
"Second cousin. My mother is Madeline Walker."
Maddie. He knew Maddie though he had only met her a couple of times. Her mom and his dad were siblings. That explained why Jasmine looked so much like Barbara at least.
"Maddie... right, I remember Maddie. Okay, so why does your brother need protection? Specifically from your parents and Batman?"
Jasmine played with her hands. "My... my brother is different, Commissioner Gordon and my parents found out. They hurt him... badly. So we came here because you're the only one who might be able to help us but if Batman finds out we're here then Danny could get hurt again. B-but my parents and the government are wrong out him! H-he's not evil, he's a hero. H-he's a hero but because of what he is... he's labled as evil..."
Jim frowned, "Okay... is your brother a meta?"
Jasmine shook her head. "No."
Damn. Meta protection act wouldnt help here.
"Alright... is your brother with you?"
Jasmine sniffled then nodded. "He's in the car sleeping."
Jim stood up, grabbing his jacket off of the coat hanger. "Take me to him, please."
"You won't hurt him?"
"You have my word."
Jasmine looked at him, her teal eyes filled with more exhaustion and anxiety than any childs should be. Then, she let out a shaky breath and lead him out of the room.
They walked through the police station before Jasmine lead him out to the parking lot to the furthest corner of it where a beat up red station wagon was parked alone. Jasmine then gestured to the back window as Jim looked in.
The seats had been laid down and blankets laid out in a makeshift bed where a teenager around 14 or 15 laid sleeping on it. The teenager had healing bruises on his face and arms as well as a multitude of bandages that Jim could see peeking over the blanket, specifically on his chest. What had Jim the most concerened though was how pale the boy was and how weak his breathing seemed.
Any doubts Jim might have had immediately flew out the window. It no longer mattered who these two kids were they were kids in trouble.
"Why didn't you take him to the hosptial?" Jim asked, looking at Jasmine who looked ready to cry.
"Because if the Government finds out where he is they'll take him away and kill him. What he is isnt supposed to exist and is listed as 'dangerous'." She sniffled.
Jim frowned. The goverment couldn't know yet they took the risk to come to him? They must have been desperate.
"Okay, let me see your keys. I'll take you kids to my place to hide then call my daughter."
"Y-your daughter?" Jasmine asked, handing the keys over regardless.
"Yeah. She's good with these kinds of things and if she can't help I might know somebody else who can." Jim explained, climbing into the drivers seat as Jasmine ran to the other side.
"T-they won't turn us in, right?"
"No, they wont. My daughter is a librarian and my friend is a butler, they know how to keep secrets." He promised, pulling away from the police station in the direction of his house.
He could only hope that he would be able to help these two kids, and that whatever fear they had of the Batman wouldn't end up being justified fears.
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chdarling · 1 year ago
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People are still hating on Graham?? But what about the FACTS? what are his CRIMES??
Graham's over here just
starting up secret muggleborn clubs to provide safe spaces for students like him at Hogwarts
recruiting Lily to said secret society at a serendipitous time when she desperately needs support/a distraction from Flormes
dancing to ABBA when he doesn't want to because Lily asked
Providing string-free physical comfort on demand
keeping her confusing fake relationship with Sirius a secret
doing his best to be open-minded to the purebloods she invites to muggleborn club and friendly to the pureblood with whom she's been flaunting a fake relationship--a relationship that started, like, ten seconds after she buttoned up her blouse and left him a half-naked dirty little secret in the Room of Requirement
following Lily's lead and keeping their situation casual despite clearly catching feelings himself
sending flowers after Lily's dad dies
getting ghosted, with no real explanation, until he approaches her to clarify their status
not pushing the issue when Lily wants to remove the benefits from their friendship
supporting Lily's protest idea and agreeing to be its face and voice, despite the target it will no doubt put on his back
only telling one person about their trysts, once he starts Feeling Some Kind of Way and justifiably needs to vent because he's a human boy with a heart, and he tried to cry on his own shoulder but it gave him a crick and his shirt got soggy
having open and honest conversations about his feelings with Lily and explaining how Lily's actions affected him and why it's not okay with him
Did he handle everything perfectly along the way? Of course not. He's a teenage boy with hurt feelings and a bruised ego, and also then we'd hate him for being too perfect. Is he a Level Ten scumsucker because he fell a little harder than planned for Lily, or because he called Lily out on some unintended consequences of her actions? Hardly.
If you took all the above and find-and-replaced "Graham" with "James" I feel like there'd be far less uproar over these allegedly unforgivable and egregious acts.
Sincerely,
Mabel
(please don't kill Graham) (I mean do what you want, it's your story) (but he's a good Graham, is all I'm saying)
Bless you, Mabel 😂😂❤️❤️❤️
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mikuni14 · 10 months ago
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Dead Friend Forever - Ep 7
This episode of DFF is also excellent and I feel so blessed to have experienced two series with such well-written scripts this week (the other being Love for Love's Sake, of course) 💖
Everything in DFF is clear, logical and understandable when we take into account that the characters of this series are 1) humans 2) teenagers. I completely understand the behavior of each of these characters, even when I feel like tearing my hair out or throwing punches and kicks at them. If anyone is wondering whether what Non, his teacher, his bullies, is doing is illogical, I encourage you to study police reports - I have literally read about situations such as those in DFF.
Phee: what a solid guy 😍 As soon as he appears, we see him as a perfect boyfriend, romantic, strong, who gets things done. I like his attitude, the fact that no matter what, how, he gets shit done, even if he has to use his own father and his position to do it. I understand his controlling nature when you have a boyfriend like Non (Phee is in love, but he's not stupid and naive), I also understand that he doesn't fully trust Non. I completely understand his behavior at the end, especially when he entered the scene with Non and the teacher hugging. I also understand cruel words. Should Phee have acted differently? Of course. But he COULD NOT. Because he would have to be made of stone and be a hardened adult with perfect self-control and nerves of steel. Phee, despite how smart and talented he is, is only human and is still a child who doesn't have to be able to regulate his emotions, control his feelings of hurt, betrayal and rejection, and doesn't have to be able to cope ALWAYS and in every situation. Perhaps when Phee calms down, he will want to explain the situation, or at least apologize for his words. Who knows. Anyway, he's great as a character, my fav.
Non: in his being pathetic, in refusing Phee's help, in trying to save his situation by sinking deeper and deeper, in trusting the wrong people, in "allowing" bullying, in seeking validation of his self-worth where he shouldn't be, he is 100% real. Non irritates and that's how it should be. Because victims are often irritating and often confusing in their behavior. And how often questions are asked: but he/she agreed to it, no one forced her/him, he/she went there herself, they did it of their own free will! Why didn't he/she tell anyone, why didn't they confess? And here we can also ask why Non is doing all this, why won't he confess to Phee, why won't he transfer to another school, why is he having sex with the teacher? For me, Non is a victim of the system, his illness, his family, his school, and maybe also his personality. I also wondered why he didn't want to change schools and just leave it all behind, usually students who are victims of bullying dream of changing schools. But I think, looking at his conversation with Phee, that Non wanted to regain control over his life, wanted to solve his problems himself, perhaps feeling like a weakling and a loser seeing how easily Phee solved his problems. Perhaps he felt that control over his life was slipping from his fingers and he desperately tried to regain it by closing open issues, such as his debt and the movie. Does his behavior make sense to me? No. But I've never been in such a situation, I'm trying to understand it and this explanation seems quite logical to me. Especially since Non tries hard and finally wants to give up at least the movie, while staying at the summer house, and is stopped by Jin. And he tries to get the money back by sleeping with his teacher, because in his mind THIS is not bad, THIS is just a way to solve the debt problem. And for him, a poor person, the problem of money may be more important than having sex with a teacher. Sex with the teacher itself doesn't have to be such a big problem for him, especially since the teacher is young, handsome, helpful, nice and shows compassion and attention. For a person like Non, it may even be flattering and he may even convince himself that nothing bad is happening, it's just sex, physical stuff, he gets something out of it that solves his money problem and the teacher is so nice! I can imagine how Non can manipulate himself in this situation and how easy a victim of grooming and manipulation he is for the teacher. And I must say that the series shows PERFECTLY how adults prey on children and teenagers, technically the adult does not force Non to do anything, he just sets up a very complicated trap in which Non cannot say "no". This series really doesn't fuck around, it just shows the TRUTH. Just to be clear: Non is the SA victim in this situation, PERIOD. I do not accept any accusations against him.
Jin: I don't know ultimately whether it was Jin who released this video, but if he did it, I understand that too, his behavior seems logical to me. People do all kinds of stupid and hurtful things under the influence of feelings of betrayal and hurt (even if Jin had no right to these feelings), especially young people (here is the same situation as with Phee, which I described above). Jin may feel betrayed, because he "did so much for Non", he always defended him. Jin also honestly has a crush on Non and found him not with a boy on a date (Jin didn't have any strong reaction to seeing Non hugged by another boy), but having sex with an adult and with a teacher to that. It's a lot to digest, and clearly Jin couldn't handle it at all (if I'm not mistaken, he was also drinking, which certainly didn't help).
All these shitty little pricks: Fluke, as always, avoids trouble and simply removes himself from situations, never comments, never takes sides (meaning - he takes sides with the bullies). I wonder how Jin always looks at him when he's looking for allies to help Non and how Fluke never reacts. Por, with his increasingly worse behavior, also fits the mold of a classic bully who has found a victim, in addition, someone he truly hates, and whom he can torment without consequences, and it's quite possible that he simply likes it. All this is a dangerous mix, pushing Non to his limits, encouraging other bullies, but also very realistic. Tee and Top are up to something and it scares me. All I know is that this money will be stolen and Non will have to get it again...
I am very impressed with this series, how well it's done, how realistic and logical it is. I'm incredibly intrigued and curious and I'm looking forward to the next episode. I rate the story building, script and character cohesion as 10.
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mapoeggplant · 1 year ago
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skip to loafer chapter 52 // spoilers
this was a chapter dedicated for the one we had to leave behind. fumi came full of love to show us how mitsumi grew with so much love and care, with someone who would be there for her no matter what.
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different from what we thought previously, fumi gave us the beauty and delicacy that she has to offer. where we though was jealously was, in fact, an undeniable love and appreciation that she would carry with her all her life. not only that but we had a beautiful finalization for maharu’s arc. as i suspected before, there’s a lot going on inside maharu’s mind, which is extremely normal for someone her age. while she open up to fumi, she doesn’t even have a proper reason on why she wants to go to tokyo — is purely a scream for attention.
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maharu wants tokyo because she thinks tokyo is the answer to being an adult and also the answer for her parent’s attention. when we compare her reactions here with chapter 51, it gets even clearer how she’s begging for everyone to see her and ti listen to what she needs. and she’s not wrong for feeling like that, as fumi herself stated. she’s feeling alone and she miss mitsumi a lot, which just shows how much she adores her sister and how much she wishes she could be a little bit like her.
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fumi was the perfect person to talk to maharu, because she’s the only one who actually KNOWS how maharu is feeling, since she felt it too. fumi blown out at mitsumi because she wanted her friends attention, wanted that mitsumi to know how hurt she was.
and, if we do the math, maharu is closely the same age as fumi and mitsumi were when they had their first “fight”. both girls saw mitsumi as this bright, incredible human who was seeking for something even bigger than they could offer and so they begged for her attention.
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it’s normal, it’s something teenagers constantly feel: the need for attention and for someone who hear them and show them that yes, they are right for feeling like that, is extremely important and essential for a adolescent. and that was fumi for maharu, and maharu for fumi.
the beauty of it all, for me, is how fumi opens up this whole bitter moment of her life just to be surprised by mitsumi’s love later — mitsumi have new friends from tokyo and she loves them, but her best friend will forever be fumi, doesn’t matter what.
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and why not give fumi another little confused teenager for her to have a little chat?
there’s a little big thing that happens in shima’s talk with fumi that really needs to be highlighted: when shima talks about how mitsumi’s sees HIS feelings, fumi gets confused. and i understand her!! can you imagine if a boy came to talk to you and say that your best friend doesn’t think he loves her “like that”, when in reality, not even himself knows it?
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when fumi says “it’s your feelings were talking about”, makes it even more obvious to me how shima doesn’t know how he’s really feeling and how to deal with all these new emotions inside his heart. it’s not that he likes her or not: he doesn’t UNDERSTAND what this feeling means. that’s EXACTLY why he always says “mitsumi thinks i don’t like her like that”, AND NOT “I don’t like her like that”. when he puts his feelings on someone else’s hands, it just shows how he always had someone dictating how he had to feel rather than he himself dealing with it.
i do believe that put a big question mark on his head, such as “what did she (fumi) mean by that?”. after all, fumi was the first one to say “YOUR feelings”, the first one to point it out to his face rather than just think to themselves.
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aside from all of that, the chapter itself is delightful. it’s a chapter that screams summer break and it just shows how much this kids love each other and how they desperately want to know more about mitsumi (look how the girls ran to fumi!!!!!!!!).
i just love to see all of them having fun and enjoying their youth the way they deserve. now they don’t have to fake personalities, hide their bodies or act cold towards anyone. they found their safe place, and my heart is at peace
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a little more on shima and his feelings:
if you read one of my shima character study, you'll remember when i said the following:
what does it mean to love someone romantically when he never once felt jealous? what does it mean to care so much for someone when he was never cared to? what does it mean to give up of someone you love so dearly if he can’t even let it all go? how does one stop making excuses?
i keep thinking about this and thinking about chapter 52 and how devastating it is for a 16 yo boy who has absolute no idea whatsoever about his own feelings and how navigate thought them because he was denied his autonomy for years and years.
if we think about it, much like any other child stars, shima never had a chance to have a normal and healthy childhood. when kids his age were playing, making friends and scratching their knees, he was bearing his mother’s trauma, committing huge mistakes which would lead to one of his best friends to almost lose her career, having to keep his family life in check and having thousands of people saying how he should act, feel and behave. because of that, it’s no surprise that he would act the way he did when he started middle school.
when someone inflicted their feelings on him, he doesn’t know how to deny them, since he was always the one to accept and bear other’s emotions. he never had someone asking “but how do YOU feel?” or “but do YOU like me?”. it was always someone blaming him for it all.
chris was the only friend (before fumi) who tried to talk to him about it all and to show how much he needed to connect with himself (ririka did try, even tho people want to deny it, but she’s also extremely hurt and traumatized, ofc it will be abruptly). but it’s easier said than done. even tho he’s trying to leave his past behind, he’s still saying “she think i feel like this” — and that’s not mitsumi’s fault AT ALL. she’s just a girl who wants to be loved and wants her friend to be true to his feelings.
what she experienced with him when they both were dating told her something that maybe wasn’t what shima was trying to say, but it happened. she’s just trying to cary the world on her back, which is causing him a lot of damage.
shima is someone who still needs a LOT of patience from us and a lot of time. someone who was abused all his life won’t change in a blink of an eye. what i’m extremely thankful, tho, is that now he’s surrounded by people who love him deeply.
💛 thank you for reading it!!!
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spinning-angel · 2 years ago
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BRO!!!
Bro.
A Batman fanfiction called ‘Must Have Been the Wind’ about Tim Drake leaving Gotham to pursue self-betterment after realizing how badly the batfamily treats him. Dick was nice at first before Dick wanted to send him to Arkham for his ‘mental instability’ and Tim Drake is desperate for love from being so starved of it from his own family. He’s used to being treated badly, explains it away, and even expects it because he’s never known better in his life ever.
Bruce is always too late, for being a detective he is rather blind to actual problems until they have already occurred. He can solve a murder, but he can’t save anyone. He deals in facts, not sensitivities.
Alfred is either silent or an appeaser to both sides.
Dick tries to send him away to Arkham.
Jason tries to murder him.
Cass tried to murder him in the beginning, and even with their now good relationship she abandons him to go to Hong Kong when he needs her most.
Damian tries to murder him multiple times, actively antagonizes him, and still hates him.
I’d like to think he’s scared of anything else at first because he’s used to silently suffering, and something new is much scarier than something familiar. Tim thought it was normal, that his life with his parents and the Wayne’s was love, but ever the detective he starts to question things when he goes to Ives’ house. He has so many questions; like why do his parents ask about his day? Lean in close, rub his shoulder, look at him so affectionately? Playful arguments, laughing at the dinner table, helping each other with dishes, taking care of the other when they’re sick? Why do they want him when to Tim, children should only be around when they are needed without exception? To Tim, children are a necessity because they are expected, not wanted, because Tim is and feels unwanted so much and seeing a family acting like this..he gets a little emotional and confused.
He might act out, yell rage and scream, ‘why do your parents love you, but mine never did!??!!’ And cry while being hugged and soothed. Or he might watch on with scientific integrity, with no spoken opinion, only to politely ask Ives carefully formed questions later in the comfort of only his presence so no one else will be able to hear his voice tremble, see him break whilst his theories are confirmed. He has been abused. By both his parents and Bruce, and not in entirely dissimilar ways either which is probably why he didn’t notice. If Bruce hit him he would have said something, if Bruce touched him he would have went to Dick who would keep him safe, but Bruce hurts him with his inaction. He hold back on touch, love, affection, everything Tim has already been deprived of. Dick gives plenty of hugs, but it’s different from someone who’s supposed to be your father, it is something Tim has never experienced before and fears he never will.
So he leaves, keeps in touch with Ives who showed him what a loving family should act like and anyone else who he thinks would care (Kon, Bart, Cassie, even Duke!!), then disappears into the winds one day. No one notices for months, could even be years, it’s not like Tim is keeping track. At first though, he does. He dreads the fact he left immediately, starts counting the days from the first, hoping and wistfully wondering if one of them is frantically searching for him…but after a while those feelings fade away and he is left feeling utterly content in the knowledge that he got away before he became another dead robin. It was all he would have been in the end, no name, no Tim Drake, Tim Wayne, or just Tim.
He’d have been another faceless robin who died at a time when he should have been going to friends houses, going through puberty, going to parties, teenage angst, petty arguments, hate, love love love —having a life that didn’t revolve around covering up broken bones and bruises in time for school with 30 missing assignments cause he was too busy fighting crime— normal kid things. Instead, he was given two parents who were never around enough to care about him, and gained a brother and a father who only saw his dead successor in everything he did. It made him feel fake, a complete fraud, inhuman. He had to earn their love when he should have already had it.
Now he’s willingly lost everything to start over again, and he’s okay with that. Tim has accepted that sometimes you need to let things go to let other things in. Two steps back to take five steps forward.
Present day, Tim lives in a nice suburban neighborhood where everyone knows each other and the community is small but strong. The type of community where you’ll walk your dog and everyone who passes by will wave and ask about your day, even invite you to their house for dinner. It’s not what his parents would have wanted, but it’s what Tim wants and Tim doesn’t think he has ever had the chance to freely want something before coming here.
He’s not hiding either, he still goes by Tim Drake, Ives comes to visit him when he feels well enough to, Kon, Bart, and Cassie call weekly to talk about life sans superheroing. Even Duke visits in the evenings on weekends and sleeps over on saturdays before leaving late on Sunday because he’s got school tomorrow.
Anyone could find him anytime, but no one has—Dick, Jason, Cass, Damian, Bruce— because they don’t realize they lost him. One day they might finally understand, or attempt to make amends when they try to become better.
Bruce might hug him and say he loves him
Alfred might call him ‘dear boy’ and ask if he’s been eating
Dick might congratulate him for finding peace
Jason might apologize and make it up to him by cooking one of alfreds recipes
Cass might come home permanently and just lie down next to him, no words needed
Damian might pet his dog and call him Timothy
Though, for now Tim doesn’t worry about waiting because the only thing he’s waiting for everyday is walking his dog in the morning and talking to friends who love him. That’s all he needs.
SUMMARY: fanfiction idea about tim healing from toxic family relations and learning how to love and appreciate himself the way he shouldve since the beginning, but he went from shitty parents to even shittier parent so he never had the time to take a breather and think that he doesnt deserve this treatment
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pridepages · 2 years ago
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eARC Review: Darkhearts
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A HUGE thank you to Netgalley and Wednesday Books for providing me an eARC in exchange for an honest review!
RATING: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
GOODREADS SYNOPSIS:  When David quit his band, he missed his shot at fame. For the past two years, he’s been trapped in an ordinary Seattle high school life, working summers for his dad’s construction business while his former best friends Chance and Eli became the hottest teen pop act in America. Then Eli dies. Suddenly David and Chance are thrown back into contact, forcing David to rediscover all the little things that once made the two of them so close, even as he continues to despise the singer’s posturing and attention-hogging. As old wounds break open, an unexpected kiss leads the boys to trade frenemy status for a confusing, tentative romance—one Chance is desperate to keep out of the spotlight. Though hurt by Chance’s refusal to acknowledge him publicly, David decides their new relationship presents a perfect opportunity for him to rejoin the band and claim the celebrity he's been denied. But Chance is all too familiar with people trying to use him. As the mixture of business and pleasure becomes a powder keg, David will have to choose: Is this his second chance at glory? Or his second chance at Chance?
RELEASE DATE: 6/6/2023
See my full review under the cut!
Sutter’s latest novel Darkhearts is a strong, bittersweet work about grief and regret. 
This book is difficult to classify. While it has some elements of a romcom (friends-to-rivals-to-lovers, secretly dating, finding yourself, etc.), it doesn't actually read like one. The romance between narrator David and his love interest Chance is the main plot, but arguably the story is really about how David has been stuck in the past and needs to find a way to move forward. If I had to register a critique, it would be the fact that band member and friend Eli's death wasn't handled in a way that served the narrative or the readers. 
This is the event that kicks off the plot and brings Chance and David back together. Narratively, we are set up to expect it will be tied to the emotional development of both characters. Maybe it will help them learn to let go of old grudges because life is too short? Maybe it will cast doubt on how they used to see each other or the wider world? Maybe something else, but (pardon the expression) you can’t raise a ghost like that and then just expect it to...fade away.
But that’s exactly what happens. By the midway point of the book, Chance's feelings of guilt are "resolved" for narrative purposes...Or maybe they just get forgotten? Either way, the fact that this event just falls away is troubling.
It’s particularly insensitive considering that Eli’s death is a tragedy related to substance abuse. This is an incredibly serious topic, one that affects many young people, particularly young queer people. Chance--who lived in the bubble of teenage stardom side-by-side with Eli--is no doubt traumatized by the loss of the person who understood him best in the world. But somewhere along the line, David and Chance have maybe one honest, vulnerable conversation about it...and then they never speak of it again!
The only thing I can think of is that maybe this is meant to be another sign of David’s selfishness. He’s the narrator, and by the end he realizes that he’s been ignoring the emotional needs of his friends and family to feed his own resentment. But wouldn’t Eli’s death be a trauma for David too? After all, he perceives Eli as having left him behind for fame just as much as Chance did. Knowing David as a character, I find it hard to believe he wouldn’t obsess over the fact that he’s not ever going to get some kind of closure with Eli.
As always, there’s also the Big Question of all queer self discovery stories: to come out or not to come out? I understand that not every teenager is in a position to come out before becoming an independent adult. I also recognize that in real life celebrities often choose to live in the closet because homophobia has real consequences that could put them and their dreams in danger.
Still! I hate reading stories like that. I live and breathe homophobia every day of my life. I don’t want to escape in a book and see queer people having to settle for a half life of stifled unhappiness, resigned to reality because that’s just the way life is. Why do we write fiction if not to bring back some measure of power to our lives with our voices?
So I also thought I would leave unsatisfied by the 'resolution' about the choice to come out or not. 
Until those last couple of lines...
Well, let's just say I liked it better than I thought I would.
I'd recommend this book to fans of YA, coming-of-age novels, and bittersweet romances.
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jjmorelikeotp · 1 month ago
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This is so important. Also hate to say it but the r4pe scene was NOT out of character for Spike even if people act like it because they like their version/perception of the character more than the presented one.
Spike DOES have a tendency to become very violent when he feels vulnerable/ashamed/confused and whatever, and he does not accept boundaries. That is one of his character traits from the very beginning, that is why he was introduced as a villain. He built a sex robot of a woman because she showed no interest in him.
The only reason why spuffy even happened is because he became a fan favourite & because his actor is indeed very charming and charismatic. They have chemistry. That is not the point. He is not a victim. He is an animalistic monster with the ability to sometimes self reflect.
That scene is also the only reason why he was pushed enough to get his soul back which they needed for the plot. I read somewhere that the writers said people were forgetting that he was an evil character/villain after all, only because of his fixation for buffy.
But let's not forget that as soon as he thought the chip wasn't working, he was so desperate, and that is another emotion that is making him VERY violent, he tried to immediately hurt a woman. He was ready to KILL buffy with a GUN after she told him he was beneath her. Which she did because he told her what HE DID.
He did very often not even care about anyone but buffy and that was more out of obsession than love, so let's not glorify that.
I also hate the way the first conversation of Buffy & Spike in S7 is so nonchalant. Yeah, the man has his soul back and kinda tries to protect people by making them stay away from him, and yes, he is completely right, apologies could NEVER make up for what he did.
But he is NOT. A victim. He is a man who took some responsibility and needs to keep doing so.
I also hate how they made it look like he only got his soul back for her. Which, to be fair, fits the character as I described earlier. But if it wasn't Buffy, he probably wouldn't have cared.
The weights his actions on how she reacts, and that is VERY dangerous especially in context of his obsessive behavior. He did her wrong, yes, but he also did WRONG in general. If he has enough in him without a soul that he realizes what he did to buffy was disgusting, he should be able to do so in context of others as well, and he didn't. He only stops hurting people in his personal space, heck, he literally TURNED ON HIS OWN KIND just because he could not hurt humans anymore. I know that's kind of a "making him the good guy" by the show's creators but it literally IS NOT. We've seen that not all demons are bad. But Spike never cared about that, he just goes where convenience takes him.
The abuse apologism in shows like this in general are soooo dangerous because YES, pop culture shapes generations and this is what subconciously can do a huge damage to teenage audiences. Many people did not like Riley because he was "too boring" - in what way? Yes, he had his issues with buffy, but he didn't beat her up or tried to kill her. The relationship had simply not enough edges compared to the other ones buffy had, but it was a safe one.
Everyone always acts like Buffy just didn't let herself loose with Spike in season 6, I myself did some analysis but we HAVE to talk about the fact that she had every reason to keep her distance. That man killed thousands of people, two of her in her previous lives, even. He always had a spontaneous cruelty in him. And that should not be described as poetic but as what it is. Dangerous. Predatory. Not in a good way.
e https://impalementation.tumblr.com/post/188475654600/if-youre-still-taking-asks-you-mentioned-you-had hi, if you mind reading i link this to you
Okay, so I'm finally responding to this ask lol. Sorry for the wait.
I understand what this person is saying and I'm not going to go into every point because that's their interpretation. There's nothing to be discussed in how someone chooses to see symbolism because that's abstract and subjective.
What I am going to address is this:
"the point of seeing red is that buffy is capable of growing past that instability, is capable of saying no and meaning it"
Buffy had already been saying no before Seeing Red. She had been saying "no" from the beginning but even if we want to argue that the consent was left "ambiguous" in most of their encounters, Buffy had already reached that moment in her arc that OP mentions before Seeing Red. Buffy ends her "relationship" with spike several episodes earlier in As You Were.
Spike was the one who, as usually, wouldn't quit, wouldn't leave her alove. He insisted with her and bitched about it in the subsequent episodes, he even hooks up with Anya after she's left at the altar by Xander in a very deliberate "rebound" move from both of them where they're both kinda like "fuck our exes". So yeah I think he understood what Buffy meant and, most importantly, Buffy had already moved past that "uncertainity" and instability phase, she was making her decisions and sticking with them. It was Spike the one who couldn't/wouldn't accept what she decided. Who would follow her around and try to pressure her into budging, trying to make her doubt herself again. He was the one who pushed the situation to get to the point it got in Seeing Red, it had already ended as far as Buffy was concerned.
"with that in mind, i see buffy loving spike by the last episode actually as a matter of her loving herself [...] i see buffy’s advocacy re: spike throughout s7 as a direct, deliberate reversal of how she treated him in s6. just as she was determined to see him (read: herself) as a thing in s6, she is determined to see spike in s7 as deserving of forgiveness, as not a thing."
Like I said, I won't discuss whether this person is right or wrong for seeing spike as "the id" of the show (I think you could argue that for all vampires in the show, spike is just the one who stays the longest but his behaviour is not any different from any other soulless vampire when it comes to the common traits usually pointed out but anyway). So yeah I won't discuss whether that's right or wrong because that's their interpretation.
Because of that, I can understand why someone who sees Spike as the representation of Buffy's repressed id (something that could also be argued about Faith, which to me holds a bit more water since she's also a slayer) would say that her treatment of Spike in S6 and S7 mirrors how she sees herself. I can understand why someone would think that if that's how they see Spike's role in the show.
The issue with this interpretation and the subsequent defense of S7 is that it engages in abuse apologism because of the way that it whitewashes Spike's actions to merely being a reflection of Buffy's feelings. Similarly to the point made about the ambiguous consent of their relationship earlier, it places a responsibility on Buffy's shoulders for failings that are entirely Spike's. Buffy being depressed and feeling shitty about herself does not grant permission for another person (monster or not) to abuse her. It does not give permission for another person to take advantage of her vulnerable state. And that is true to any person, whether they're a superhero like Buffy or not. Someone being in a really low point of their life, struggling with their self-worth is not an open invitation for others to take advantage and it's not their fault if someone does it.
I understand that Buffy might have felt like she needed to forgive herself for how she acted in S6 but the truth is that she didn't do anything wrong. By choosing this line of defense of how S7 handled the lack of acknowledgement of the abuse in S6, you're implying that Buffy did something wrong that she needed to forgive herself for. And she didn't. Buffy could have an arc about "forgiving herself" without the show brushing off what happened, without leaving what happened between them in this ambiguous place where no one was at fault and because of that implying that both of them were. Because they weren't equally at fault. Even worse, this interpretation heavily suggests that what happened was actually entirely Buffy's fault - if only she wasn't so repressed, if only she was more at peace with her id, she wouldn't have fallen in a self-destructive path that would lead to "monsters" like Spike, who just don't know any better, taking advantage of her and hurting her.
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sugarbooger513 · 3 years ago
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Mine (Stepbrother!ChosoxFem!Reader)
This is my collaboration piece for @severelytalentless Are You Afraid of the Dark collab! I had a lot of fun writing this... work. I hope you guys enjoy it! Thank you to my very amazing friends who helped me out during this piece, especially my wifey @kentosovertime and my bestie @roughwithfluff. It wouldn't have ended up as well written as it did without the help.
Warnings: stepcest, possessive nature, unprotected sex (wrap your willies), oral (fem receiving), spit, Choso slaps reader in the face like once, he also slaps in another place, daddy kink, dom Choso, Choso is very petty, mentions of cheating ex, mentions of alcohol and nicotine consumption, degradation, praise, slight breeding kink if you squint
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"Don't bother calling me anymore! I see what's more important to you.." You hang up your cell phone and throw it across the room. Your bed feels colder than it usually does, but you lay on it anyways, allowing your tears to flow onto your pillow.
Your boyfriend, now ex, of two years had called you with a plea, begging for your forgiveness. How could you forgive him, though? When you heard about your best friend sleeping with him, you couldn't get the image out of your head. You knew she thought he was attractive, but there was never a worry in your mind that either of them would take it anywhere.
You sit up, suddenly realizing that he would be on his way home from work in an hour, maybe two. You had to leave before he got home. It wasn't like you feared he would hurt you for leaving him, but he would certainly try to guilt you into staying with him.
Your heart rate increases when you realize that you have no idea where you can go. He knows all of your family, and is pretty loved by all of them. Your stepmom even has the habit of calling him her son. 'Her son...'
You rush to grab your phone, dialing the all too familiar number. If there's one person in your family you can call, it's the one he's scared of.
"Y/N," your step brother lets out a long yawn after answering, "what's up?" "B-bubs.." You can hear him drop something on his end. "Honey, why are you crying?" "He.. he cheated on me.. with her.. you were right.."
Choso bites the inside of his cheek, suddenly enraged at the thought. He never liked that guy. When they first met, Choso punched him in the jaw for being an asshole. You were mad at him at the time, but eventually understood why he did it. Since then, your ex was too scared to look Choso in the eyes.
Still, he now finds himself smiling.
"I'm so sorry, honey. Is there anything I can do?" Your sniffle makes him clench his fist. "He's going.. to be home s-soon." "Drive over here. I'll set up the guest-" "C-can you get me..? I don't want him tracking my car.."
Your pitiful voice goes straight to his crotch. Even though no one else is at his home, he finds himself trying to conceal his half hard cock with the kitchen counter.
"Of course, honey. Pack a bag. I'll be there in twenty." "I-I love you, Choso.. thank you." He has to bite his lip to keep from moaning. "I love you too, honey."
When he hangs up, he groans loudly and places his head on the cool marble. "Okay," he talks to himself aloud, "just.. keep yourself in control. You got this, Choso. She's your step sister, for Christ's sake." He shakes his head, grabbing his keys.
Still, he can't deny the things you do to him. It makes him feel terrible, but you're so damn tempting. He always figured that your hugs would last a little too long, your eyes scanned him a little too much, your hands lingered on him a little too suggestively.
He knew better, though. Your teenage years were spent on tons of dates with guys who were the complete opposite of your stepbrother. He would sit in his bedroom, no doubt on a video game, while he listened to guy after guy go in and out of your bedroom. It wasn't like you were a whore.
Those guys just eventually showed their true colors.
He knows that when you love, you love with your entire heart. That's why he was there for you through every heartbreak. He would hold you for hours, dry your tears with his own shirts, make you your favorite snacks, take you on long walks so you weren't cooped in the house all day.
Why? Well, because in his mind you already belonged to him.
You pace your living room, already holding your overnight bag in your hand. Of course, you'll probably stay with Choso more than one night, unless your dad tells you to stay with him and your stepmom instead.
Who are you kidding? If Choso offers to let you stay longer, you would much rather stay there.
Your front door opens, and you jump in fear that your ex came back early. "Shhh, honey it's me." "C-Cho.." Choso walks across the room in quick strides to pull you into his strong embrace.
His hands gently cradle you against his body. "He doesn't deserve your tears Y/N. Don't give him the satisfaction." "Y-you tell me that after every breakup, Choso.." "I know. That's because none of them deserve your kindness."
You close your eyes and feel yourself relax in his strong arms. He's never let you down. Choso has been the only guy in your life to prove he would always be there for you. You truly trust him with your life.
That being said, you can't ignore the feelings that have formed over the years for your stepbrother.
Your fingers grip his shirt in an attempt to pull him even closer to you. He sighs softly and buries his face in your hair. "Is there anything I can do for you, Y/N?" "Just... don't leave me. Please?"
His heart pounds in his chest at your feeble plea. His throat seems to dry, so he can't manage to speak. Finally, after what feels like an hour, he clears his throat.
"You know I won't, Y/N. I never have." "And never will?" His large hands squeeze your body a bit harshly, but your breath only increases at the feeling.
"I never will. Now, why don't we get you loaded into the car and get you home?" You finally pull away, blinking your still teary eyes at him so innocently. "Home..?"
The look on your face has his body on fire. You look so damn innocent, just like an angel. They're still red and puffy from your crying, but that only has him straining in his pants.
The things he would give to take the innocence from your face this second..
"Of course. My home is yours for as long as you need." He jingles his keys in an attempt for you to hurry and follow.
"What.. what about as long as I want..?"
That sentence has him blushing furiously. He looks at you with a raised eyebrow.
"Of course. You're family and I love you, so my home is yours. We should go though. I don't want to-" His sentence is cut short when you wrap your small arms around his frame.
"Cho.. you're the only person in my life that cares this much.." "Don't say that, princess. You know that isn't true." His large hands are so gentle as they rub your back comfortingly. The small action has your heart pounding.
It also has your core burning for more.
"I-I want to stay with you." "Princess, then why are we still here?" There's a hint of laughter in his teasing tone. "I mean.. stay with you." You bury your face in his broad chest, hoping desperately that he gets the hint.
And oh boy does he ever. He can't help the small groan that escapes his throat at the mere thought.
"Y/N.. you don't mean that." You finally look up, shocked at the tint of rosiness on his usually pale cheeks.
"I-I do mean it.. You're the only guy who has ever-" "I'm family." "Not blood. D-Don't act like you don't feel the same Choso!" His eyes widen, and your accusation has him backing away from you, causing your hope to falter. Had you been mistaken this entire time? Had the stares and lingering touches really just been his own way of showing platonic affection.
"Choso.. I-" "Am I truly that obvious, Y/N?" You blink once, twice before giggling softly. "Y-yeah.. have I not been?" "No. Your.. attention always seemed to be on others. I just assumed.. you saw me as your big brother." You shake your head, walking slowly to stand directly in front of him again.
You've always thought his eyes were gorgeous, a slight grey tint over the almost golden color, they truly are their own unique shade, but right now they seem even brighter.
"I.. I was scared. People would.. call us freaks if anything came of any attraction to each other. I mean.. we've known forever that we weren't related, but our parents have been married-" "Going on ten years now. Even dated for five years before that. Trust me," his hand reaches to touch your cheek gently, as if he's afraid he could break you, "I've been bouncing the pros and cons in my head for so many fucking years."
Your cheek fits so easily in his palm, as if it was made to be there. "So.. who gives a damn about the cons anymore?" His eyes darken at your words, suddenly not focused on your gaze, but your lips. "I don't think I do, Princess." He suddenly turns the two of you, pressing your body into the wall that was originally behind him.
His lips hover centimeters over yours, making you whimper pathetically. "Tell me what you want. I'll give it to you, Y/N." His lips turn at the corners, making the already handsome guy seem even more so. Your hands reach out, gripping the loose t-shirt he's wearing tightly. "I-I need you, Cho. P-please?"
"Well, why don't we take this little.. fiasco to my place?" "No." He tilts his head in confusion as you smirk. "Fuck me on his bed.. onii-chan."
His lips are on yours the instant that word leaves your mouth. Despite the fact you're almost certain that Choso doesn't know what lip balm is, his lips are so plush and soft. It catches you off guard, causing you to moan softly in his mouth.
He isn't shy about exploring your body either. His hands grab every bit of plushness they can. Your hips, thighs, ass, until he finally reaches your breasts. His hands squeeze them harshly, not caring about any actual pain he could bring. You gasp in the kiss, which allows his tongue to finally invade your mouth, easily taking over as the dominant one.
He tastes faintly of cheap wine and cigarettes, but that doesn't shock you. You've spent multiple nights in his room smoking and drinking after rough breakups.
You have to smack at his shoulder a few times before he pulls away, leaving a strand of saliva connecting the two of you. He lets out a deep growl before grabbing your arm to yank you upstairs.
He kicks the bedroom door open, not caring about possibly busting the damn thing. "I have waited for so fucking long," he shoves you onto the queen sized bed that you once shared with your ex, "to have you all to myself. Now that I have you..." He pulls the shirt over his head, causing your eyes to shamelessly wander over his toned body. He catches your gaze, causing him to lick his bottom lip in anticipation. "Oh I am never letting you out of my grasp now, little one."
You sit up and, without a second thought, throw your shirt off and into the floor. "A bit possessive, are we?" He chuckles a bit darkly. "I don't see you complaining. Besides," he rips your pants off in one fluid motion, purring at the dark spot already staining your panties, "it seems you know who you belong to." His head is almost instantly between your legs, his hands shoving your thighs open effortlessly.
He licks a long stripe up your covered slit, causing you to mewl. "Go ahead, princess, tell me exactly who owns you." This time he places a small kiss just over your clit. "F-fuck, you!" "Hmmm," his hand comes down to smack your pussy with an unnecessary amount of force. "Not good enough. Try again." He lands another smack, this one making tears prick your eyes.
"W-what do y-you want-" you cry out as he lands two more smacks on you. The pain is startling at first, but it quickly has you moaning in pleasure. "How about that fun little nickname you've given so many men that have entered your bedroom?" You squeak, making him chuckle. "Oh come on, there's no way you thought I never heard you. Always had the fucking nerve," another smack, this one even harder, "to cry out for other men while I was in my bedroom dreaming of making those pretty eyes cry in my bed. Come on, call me that sweet little name and I'll fuck you better than any of those assholes could have."
The last smack has you screaming, and you can't seem to care that any of your neighbors could hear. "D-Daddy! Y-You own me! I-it's always been you, I swear daddy! P-Please fuck me, I-I need it!"
He groans loudly before ripping your panties from your body. "I'll have to remember that you beg beautifully once I get you home." Two of his fingers spread you apart, and he smirks at the puddle of essence already pooling on the bed. "So fucking wet for me, aren't you?" He doesn't give you a chance to answer before he buries his face in you, eating you out like a man starved.
The sudden onslaught of pleasure makes you try and clamp your thighs closed, but one of his hands shoves it back down. His eyes look up at you as he continues to lap at your drooling pussy. The stare speaks every word he can't at the moment.
This is for his pleasure, not yours, and you're meant to lay back and take what he's giving you.
Your fingers tangle in his raven hair, and the slight pain has him growling against you. His lips wrap around your throbbing clit, sucking harshly, and he shoves two fingers into you without any warning.
You knew beforehand that Choso had slept with at least a few women, so he's not inexperienced, but you never knew that he was this experienced. His long fingers curl into you, pushing against the spot that has you screaming his name to the heavens. He has to rut against your mattress in a desperate attempt to get some sort of relief.
"D-Daddy.. I-I'm g-gonna cum.." He could already tell. Your walls sucked his fingers in as soon as they entered you, so he knew you wouldn't last much longer. "Hmmm," his sharp teeth nip your clit gently, but it still makes you squeak, "I sure hope you aren't telling daddy what you're going to do.. That would be awfully rude of you, little one."
The sheer dominance and control radiating from him has your eyes rolling in the back of your head. Since when was your sweet step brother so demanding? "C-can I please cum, daddy? I-It feels t-too good.." You feel that damn smirk against your clit. "Of course, baby. Just scream my name when you do it, okay?"
He really must not like you talking much, because he doesn't let you answer him before he starts ruthlessly pounding his fingers into your cunt. Your entire body arches from the bed as you cry out for him. It takes one last flick of his tongue on your swollen bud to have you writing in the bed, coming completely undone before he even pulled his pants off.
He slows down, but doesn't completely stop, allowing you to ride out your high as he uses his tongue to lap up every drop of sweetness pouring from you. "Good girl, I've got you sweetheart. Are you feeling up for more, or do you need to stop until we go home?"
He sits up, eyeballing your form as he licks his lips clean, ignoring the fact he's dripping your own cum from his chin onto you.
You giggle, still a bit spaced out from the intense orgasm. "W-want you.. inside me, please daddy?" He chuckles softly before reaching to finally unhook your bra and fling it to the side. "Of course baby. Where are your condoms?" "D-Don't have any. I'm on.. the pill." His cheeks flush a bit, but he doesn't question anything else.
He makes quick work of his sweatpants, leaving him in only his boxers. The outline of his cock alone has you snapping back to reality. When he pulls the boxers down, you outwardly moan when it slaps back against his abdomen. He's much bigger than any guy you've had before. Also, it's so.. pretty.
The shaft is a lot like the rest of his skin, a very pale color that almost shines if sunlight hits it. The head is a soft pink, very reminiscent of the blushes he always seemed to get if you teased him too much, with droplets of precum around it. A large vein runs from the underside of it, and you can see it actually throb the more he stares at you.
"See something you like, love?" You whimper at the very affectionate nickname. "I-is it going to fit? I mean.. I've never.." "Don't worry, little one," he gently lays you back, "daddy will get it to fit. If it hurts too much, just let me know. Okay?" he grabs one of your exes' pillows, placing it gently under your lower back. "O-okay, daddy. I trust you."
His smile warms your heart. "That's my good girl. Spread your legs for me." You nod, following his instructions immediately. His hand reaches between the two of you, grabbing his cock and gently rubbing the tip around your entrance. "You sure you want this, Y/N? I don't want you to feel forced." You whimper, nodding instantly. "P-please fuck me, Choso.. I've waited so long.." You spread your legs more, effortlessly enticing him.
When his tip enters you, you're already a moaning mess. It just feels too good. He watches your expressions intently as he slowly pushes into you, searching for any signs of discomfort. Once he's about halfway in, he stops completely.
"How you doin' baby? Any pain?" He leans down to give you a gentle kiss. "G-good. I-it kinda burns, but nothing bad, I promise." He smiles against your mouth and starts to push in again. "We're almost there, little one. Just- fuuuuck." He finally bottoms out, the stretch of it making you whimper loudly and wiggle around. He pants on your face, the scent of you still heavy on his breath.
"S-so fucking tight.. can't believe this is happening..”
He chuckles softly, giving a tentative thrust into your heat. You bite down on your lip, finding both pain and pleasure in the burn that courses through your body. "D-daddy-" He cuts off the rest of your sentence by leaning back onto his knees and grabbing the back of both of your thighs. He manhandles you easily into what you can only assume is a mating press.
"So easy to throw around, aren't you? My pretty baby.." He pulls out of you until only his tip is still inside before slamming back in, causing you to see stars. "You take cock like a pro, baby. I wasn't sure a cute little thing like you could handle it." You tighten around him at his foul language, causing him to growl. "I'm gonna ruin you for anyone else, baby. I'll make sure I'm the only one who can make you scream. You want that, baby? Want daddy to fuck the imprint of his cock into your slutty little hole?"
You throw your head back and cry out for him. "P-please! Make me your little toy, daddy. W-want you to own me.. prove who I belong to, please?" You know you've done it now from the way he snarls at you. However, the sudden ringing of your phone makes both of you freeze. He leans back up to wrap your thighs around his torso.
He's the first to reach to the floor and grab it, still buried deep inside of you. "Oh, lookie there.. a video call. Hello?" Did he-
"Choso? Where is Y/N? Why do you have her phone?" Your ex's voice sounds from the speaker, making your eyes shoot open. You meet Choso's eyes, mouthing the words 'hang up' over and over.
"What does it matter? She dumped you and called me." "Of course she did. Dude, let me talk to her." Choso chuckles darkly, finally thrusting into you, making you squeak loudly despite your best effort to stay quiet.
"What was that?" "Y/N. She's currently.. held up. Or.. down, rather." He smirks at his own joke, reaching down his free hand to start circling your clit with his middle finger. The feeling has you tightening your thighs around his waist.
"You... what?" "Are you deaf and stupid? I said she's busy, aren't you little one?" He smirks down at your form, panting and shaking your head in a desperate, silent plea. This can not be how everyone finds out about this. No way in hell.
Choso's mocking pout makes your face flare up. "She seems a little shy. Let me show you instead." "N-no! Choso I-!" The choking gasp from the phone call shuts you up. Choso's eyes show no mercy as he looks at you almost amused. "That isn't what you should be calling me, is it?"
You look directly at the camera on the back of your phone, your face a deep scarlet color. Before you can correct yourself, the hand that was idly playing with your clit launches up, smacking your cheek with enough force to have your eyes switch to his. He smirks and shoves his index and middle fingers in your mouth without warning, making the ring he wears clack a bit painfully into your teeth.
"Pretty little whore just needs to learn some manners. Don't you, love?" He gets a wicked grin seeing how you blabber around his digits, trying so desperately to behave and give him an answer. "Sorry, princess, I didn't quite hear you. Try again for daddy." He shoves his fingers farther down your throat, causing you to gag and cough. Spit pours out of your kiss bruised lips, making Choso moan above you.
Your teary eyes make him pull his fingers out, wiping the spit across your face. "Why didn't you tell me you couldn't speak? Silly little girl. Now, what should you be calling me?" "D-Daddy! I'm s-so sorry.." He groans, running his thumb down your bottom lip. He gently pries your mouth open before leaning over you, letting spit fall from his tongue into your waiting mouth. He purrs as you swallow it so obediently. "I know you are. You're such a good girl for me. Oh, he hung up." Choso chuckles softly and tosses your phone back to the floor.
"I believe that I have some work to finish, right baby?" Both of his hands grab your hips, surely leaving bruises, before he starts to mercilessly ram into your sopping cunt. Your throat is still somewhat raw from his fingers being in it not two minutes ago, but he's determined to pull every sound he can from you.
He slides one hand down, harshly pinching and rolling your swollen clit between two fingers. Your cries only encourage his ruthless actions.
"D-daddy I-I.. something.. something doesn't-" Your pleas are cut off when the hand on your hip actually lifts you off the bed, giving him enough access for the tip of his cock to batter into your cervix.
If you aren't sore tomorrow, he hasn't done his job.
Sweat drips down his forehead and chest as he growls deeply. "There we go baby. T-that's the spot. Cum for daddy, want you screaming until my name is the only t-thing you know." His hand starts slapping your exposed clit again, finally throwing you over the edge. When the coil in your abdomen snaps, you scream his name, raw throat be damned.
Choso hisses as you tighten around his cock, spraying his lower abdomen in your essence. "Sh-shit I-" His sentence trails off when he thrusts into you one more time, letting out an animalistic snarl as his own climax washes over him.
You can feel his cock throb as he unloads his seed deep inside you. The feeling makes you tremble and mewl. There's so much of it that it still manages to spill out, staining the bed sheets under you.
He's still panting pretty heavily when he slides out of you, careful in case you're still too sensitive. When you squeak, he reaches up to cup your cheek. "You did so well, baby. I'm so proud of you." You nuzzle into his hand, placing a small kiss in the palm. "Th-thank you, daddy. I-I'm so tired." When your eyes start to flutter shut, he carefully stands from the bed, shamelessly admiring your disheveled state. "I'm sure you are. Let me get us cleaned up. Then I'll take you home, okay?"
Your small nod is plenty of an answer, so he rushes to the bathroom to search for a rag. He takes only a few seconds to wipe himself clean before rushing back to your side. You wince slightly at the feeling of the cloth wiping you down. "Shhhh, daddy's got you baby. I'll be done in just a second." He smiles to himself as you visibly relax into his touch, allowing him to finish.
"You know," he chuckles as he helps you pull your clothes back on, "your dad is going to try and kill me." "Your mom is going to call me every name in the book." He nods in agreement, finally starting to dress himself.
"So.. should we stay quiet? I imagine shit-for-brain isn't going to, but we can play that off as him being an idiot." You bite your lip, weighing the consequences of either decision.
There's no doubt in your mind, you want to be with Choso. It's clear he's willing to do whatever you want, but from the look in his eyes, the answer is obvious.
"I'm not hiding it." He blinks at you in shock. "B-baby.. your repu-" You stand up, despite your legs screaming in pain. He's quick to rush over and pull you into his chest. "I don't care.. I love you, and I don't want to hide it anymore." You squeak loudly when he picks you up bridal style, holding you easily with one arm.
The kiss he gives you is soft and loving, full of nothing but his affection for you. "I love you too, Y/N. I want nothing more than to tell the world that."
He carries you downstairs to grab your overnight bag, and then out to put you in his car. He really refuses to let you do anything, since he even leans inside to buckle you up. Your protests have him laughing. "When you're with me," he kisses your lips after getting into the driver's seat, "you're the spoiled princess. Got it?"
The drive to his house is quiet. He holds your hand the entire time, stroking along it with his thumb, occasionally bringing it to his mouth and kissing each knuckle.
"Oh.. oh shit." "What?" You open your eyes from almost falling asleep.
Your blood freezes when you see what he's looking at. Your dad's car is already parked in his driveway.
Tags: @katgalle, @savonline
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emeraldiis · 3 years ago
Text
Falling for a God
A/N: Forgot to properly post/format this fic, so here ya go ya filthy animals (ok but i wrote it so I’m filthier)
AO3 Link
Pairing: Loki x Reader
Word Count: 7.1k
Rating: Explicit (18+)
Summary: “Tell me, does being touched by a god make you nervous? I can feel you quivering, are you afraid?” Loki pauses, then leans down until his lips are almost touching your ear. “Or is that arousal I sense?”You have a huge crush on Loki, there's lots of sexual tension, y'all fuck. That's the plot.
“Nat,” you whine. “I feel like you’re not even listening.” You prance to the front of her, spinning around to walk backwards.
Natasha rolls her eyes. “Wow, are you sure you aren’t pyschic?” She keeps up her brisk pace, and you nearly trip over yourself trying to keep up.
“That’s so rude!” You exclaim, but can’t hold back a giggle. Despite her cold demeanor, you know that Nat is just messing with you. Shooting a quick glance backwards, you decide that your path is clear, and return your gaze to your friend. “You’ll tell me if I’m about to run into something, right?”
With a wry grin, Natasha gives you a thumbs up. You beam at her. “Anyway,”  you continue. “I started watching this new TV show last night, and it is so, totally awesome. There’s this guy, and he has these badass powers, and he’s fighting this girl, and she has-”
Thump.
A small oof escapes from your mouth as your back collides with something solid. You pitch forward in surprise, and yelp as you try to stabilize yourself before you fall. Large, warm hands grab your waist, tightening around you to keep you from toppling over. You sigh in relief as your frantic heart slows to a normal rhythm. “Wow, thanks,” you say, and spin around to reveal the identity of your saviour.
Piercing blue eyes meet yours, and your breath catches in your throat. “Careful, pet,” Loki murmurs softly, a sly grin spreading across his lips. His hands slide off of your waist, making contact with the sliver of skin between your shorts and your top on the way. An involuntary shiver creeps up your spine, and you bite your lip.
The reaction doesn’t go unnoticed by the ever-perceptive trickster, and his eyes flash with surprise. “Are my hands really that cold?” Loki teases. “Perhaps you could help me warm them up.” His tone is playful, but there’s something deeper underneath his banter that makes you think he’s actually flirting.
You can tell that your cheeks are red, and you choose not to respond to Loki’s question in fear of making an even bigger fool of yourself. A stammered apology tumbles from your lips, and you look back towards Natasha with a look of betrayal. She grins and shrugs. “I forgot to warn you. Oops.” Your mouth drops open. That scheming little devil. She knows about your crush on Loki, and she still allows you to make a fool out of yourself?
Your interactions with Loki were sparse, to say the least. Aside from a few casual conversations in a group, you had barely even talked to him. Still, he captivated you from the very first day he arrived at the compound. He was exactly your type; tall, dark, and brooding. Aside from Thor, most everyone gave Loki a wide berth, hesitant to forget the battle for New York. You, however, didn’t see a villain. You saw pain behind those blue eyes, and could empathize with Loki’s behavior. You knew all too well that it hurt to live in someone’s shadow, and sometimes acting out was a cry for help. Granted, Loki’s outbursts were far more drastic than yours had ever been, but it was more or less the same on a base level. And, the fact that he constantly had a witty remark on the tip of his tongue never ceased to entertain you. The man liked to hear himself talk, and damn, so did you.
It takes you a second to realize that you’ve been staring. You clear your throat awkwardly and look to the floor, eager to hide your discomfort. “Um, thank you for catching me,” you manage. When you look back up, Loki is wearing an odd expression. His pretty eyes are narrowed, searching your face. The scrutiny only embarasses you further. “Well, see you around!” WIth that, you dart around Loki and scurry off. Natasha follows you, snickering softly.
When you reach the common area, you plop yourself down on the couch and groan, throwing an arm over your face. Natasha sits down beside you. “Smooth,” she says, drawing out the word obnoxiously.
You remove your arm from over your eyes and give Natasha a withering look. “So not funny.”
Nat positively cackles at that. “Oh, come on,” she says. “He’d be an idiot to not at least have a thing for you, I mean, you’re smoking! ” She looks you up and down. “Nice rack, too.”
A giggle bursts from your lips. “Nat. Oh, my god. Stop objectifying me.”
Shaking her head, Natasha replies, “Me, objectify? I would never.”
That earns her an eye roll from you. “Sure. Anyway, can we please change the subject? I’m sick of talking about my embarrassing Loki crush.”
“What does ‘crush’ mean?”
You freeze. Now that was a distinct voice. “Thor,” you choke out. “When did you get here?”
Thor walks up behind the couch and swings himself over the back, making the poor piece of furniture creak in protest. He settles next to you, effectively sandwiching you between him and Natasha. “Just long enough to hear you discussing my brother. Now, will you please enlighten me on this strange Midgardian term?”
Before you can shut him down, Nat pipes up from the other end of the sofa. “It means she likes him. Romantically. Sexually. ”
The temptation to throw yourself onto the floor wailing is high. Instead, you opt to beg for your life. Still embarrassing, but slightly more productive than throwing a tantrum. “Nat!” You screech. You turn to Thor with pleading eyes. “Please, don’t say anything to him.”
Thor furrows his eyebrows. “What an odd expression. You’d think that the word “crush’ would be associated with something negative.” He places a big hand on your thigh. “If what Lady Natahsa says is true, then why would you not tell my brother? He is quite vain, you know. I’m sure he would be delighted to know that a beautiful woman is attracted to him!”
You groan and bury your face in your hands. These Asgardians will be the death of you. “It’s not that simple, Thor. What if he rejects me? I’d never be able to show my face around him again!”
There’s a pause, and then Thor asks you in a much gentler tone, “It seems as though you care for Loki a great deal more than you are letting on. Are you really afraid of embarrassment, or is it the heartbreak you fear?”
You’re glad that your hands are covering your face, because the way the color drains out of it at Thor’s question would have given you away. “No,” you mumble through your fingers. But he’s right, you do care for Loki more than you’d ever admit. His image ran through your head at night when you were trying to sleep, and his voice was what came to mind when your fingers were between your legs and you were pretending they were-
You rub at your eyes, then look up at Thor in desperation. “Please, if you really care about me as a friend, you’ll keep this secret.” You shoot a look at Natasha. “You, too. I may not be able to take Thor in a fight, but I could kick your ass.” You know you sound like a pathetic teenager, but you’re past the point of caring. You were perfectly happy admiring Loki from afar, and didn’t want to get your hopes up just to be met with shame.
Natasha scoffs. “As if.” Before she can continue. Thor holds up his hand.
“Lady Natasha, I believe we should stay out of this. I have done a great deal of meddling in my brother’s life, and I’ve learned that even the best intentions can cause disaster when Loki is involved.
“Thank you, Thor,” you say gratefully, relief evident in your voice. With a tired sigh, you hoist yourself up from the couch and turn to face your friends. “Well, I think I’ve had enough excitement for today. I’m going to hibernate, see you next spring.”
Natasha giggles and blows you a kiss goodbye while Thor scrunches up his face in confusion at your joke. Oh, well. Maybe he’d understand Midgardian humor one day.
*
Thunder rages outside your window while you toss and turn. You roll over to glance at your clock, and scowl when it flashes “3AM.” Giving up on the prospect of sleep, you opt for creeping to the kitchen for a midnight snack. Your bare feet pad down the carpet, and you shiver slightly at the cold air of the hall. Goosebumps rise on your bare legs and you start to regret your decision not to put on pants.
To get to the kitchen, you have to walk through the common area, and for a moment you linger just outside the entryway. There’s a soft glow coming from the corner of the room, and you mentally groan, hoping it’s one of the female inhabitants of the compound. You weren’t too excited at the idea of walking past one of the guys in just a sleep shirt and underwear. Still, your mission for food is not one you’re willing to give up on. Taking a deep breath, you step out of the hallway and into the room. And nearly pass out.
Across the room, perched in one of the loveseats, is Loki. He’s sitting with his legs curled underneath him, thumbing through a book. You consider darting back into the safety of the hall, but you’re too late. Loki has already noticed you, and is now staring far too intently for your liking. Suddenly feeling very exposed, you tug on the hem of your shirt, trying to pull it further down your legs. “Sorry to disturb you,” you whisper, afraid to break the deafening silence. Loki raises an eyebrow at you, then turns back to his book. You aren’t sure if you’re relieved or disappointed when his gaze leaves you.
Not wanting to linger in the entryway any longer, you make your way across the room, keeping your eyes down. As you pass Loki, a loud clap of thunder booms outside, and already being on edge, you yelp. Startled from the deafening sound in an otherwise quiet room, you stagger, falling backwards onto the loveseat. Right next to Loki. The sofa is small, and in your splayed out position, you’re almost half on top of the god.
Loki flinches away, and you immediately begin to apologize. “I am so sorry. I don’t know what happened, I guess I just lost my footing. Did I hurt you?” As you talk, you push yourself off of Loki and cower into the other side of the loveseat. Some more rational part of your brain urges you to get up, give him some more space, but you don’t listen. As embarrassed as you are, you’re not quite ready to give up this closeness to the object of your affection.
With a huff, Loki straightens himself and gives you a cool look. “You did not hurt me, mortal. I was simply surprised.” Then, having composed himself, he smirks and sets his book on the end table beside him. “I suppose it is only natural to have weak knees in the presence of a god.”
The comment lightens the mood, and you find yourself relaxing next to him. “You’re right, Thor’s thunder does make me a tad unsteady.”
At that, Loki stiffens, obviously having not expected you to return his teasing. For a brief moment, you feel proud. Then, something changes in his expression, and he scoots closer to you. His hand finds your bare thigh, and the contact sends butterflies through your stomach. Loki senses your restlessness and gives you a predatory grin. “Is that so? Are you telling me that this,” he squeezes your thigh, and you gasp. “Doesn’t make you feel...faint?” His voice is low, and he almost purrs the last few words.
You fight hard to keep your breathing even, not wanting to give away just how flustered you are. The heavy weight of his hand feels heavenly, and you can feel your panties grow damp. God, you hope he can’t smell it.
This predatory tone is so much different than the playful teasing that you usually receive from Loki. You’ve never seen his blue eyes so dark, and the unfamiliarity of it all tightens your stomach.
Taking your silence as a challenge, Loki presses himself even closer to you. His fingers creep up your leg, closer to your underwear. “Tell me, does being touched by a god make you nervous? I can feel you quivering, are you afraid?” Loki pauses, then leans down until his lips are almost touching your ear. “Or is that arousal I sense?”
Fuck. A full body shiver skates across your skin, and despite your best efforts, a small moan breaks free from your throat. Loki’s hand feels like a brand on your thigh, sending waves of heat up your body. The warmth pools between your legs, and you can’t help but shift a bit. Knowing that your panties are the only barrier between your soaking heat and the sofa, you arch your hips ever so slightly to keep from soiling the cushion.
Of course, your small movements don’t go unnoticed. Loki’s eyes are hooded as they rake across your bare legs, and you can hear his breathing get a bit heavier. He looks up at you, pupils dilated. “Oh, pet, look at you. Barely even touched, and already-”
He’s cut off by the sound of footsteps echoing through the hall, headed in your direction. Loki curses softly and reluctantly draws his hand away, then moves as far away as the small sofa allows. Your skin aches at the loss of contact.
The interrupting stranger’s footsteps approach the entrance to the common room, then carry on past. You let out the breath you didn’t know you’d been holding, thankful that you wouldn’t have to explain anything. Something tells you that, while there’s nothing going on now, sitting with Loki in the middle of the night might raise a few eyebrows.
You and Loki are alone again, but the moment has passed. Whatever spell that had overcome the two of you is gone, and all that’s left is a quiet room and a dim light. “I apologize, I believe I have overstepped,” Loki says, and for the first time, he sounds...unsure. His voice has lost that arrogant confidence that it normally carries, and he sounds like a child that has just been caught stealing cookies from the jar.
You bite your lip and risk a glance at Loki. He’s still pressed against the opposite arm of the loveseat, and is avoiding your eyes. Without the atmosphere of desire from before, now you just feel...awkward. Sighing softly, you rise to your feet and make your way to the hallway. You pause briefly in the entryway, and breathe out a “goodnight, Loki.” You don’t wait for a response, instead turning and trudging back towards your room.
As you flop back down in bed, you replay the night’s events over in your mind. It almost feels like a dream, and you’re having trouble believing that Loki, the God of Mischief, had actually come on to you. It didn’t seem plausible. You’re just a plain mortal, nothing special, no powers. Sure, your combat skills could rival Natasha’s, but besides that, you can’t find anything about yourself that would attract a god.
Eventually, you decide that maybe Loki was just horny, and you were in the right place at the right time. You did walk out without pants on, after all. No matter the reasoning, you know not to expect a repeat occurrence, given how regretful he had seemed afterwards. Tears brim in your eyes as the reality of the situation hits you; Loki regrets touching you. It seems that your crush was one-sided, and even though you weren’t surprised, that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
*
Things are tense around the compound. You creep around corners, terrified of accidentally finding yourself in the same room as Loki. And it seems that Loki is taking the same precautions, because you haven’t even seen a glimpse of him since that night. The ache in your heart from his rejection still keeps you up at night, and you still find yourself pining over him like a lovesick idiot.
Ever the observer, Natasha catches on quickly. “Are you really still embarrassed about bumping into Loki?” She asks after cornering you in the kitchen. “You’re not acting like yourself, and it is beyond obvious something is bothering you.”
You groan at her around a mouthful of a granola bar. “Are you really still thinking about it?” You counter.
Nat rolls her eyes. “Please, it’s hard to pretend it didn’t happen when you’re playing this stupid cat and mouse game. I see you check every room for him, I can’t believe you even care that much. He barely even touched you!”
A piece of your snack shoots down your throat with your gasp. You double over, wheezing and coughing. Natasha slaps a hand on your back, sighing. When you finally catch your breath, you glare at Nat. “Yeah, maybe that’s the issue.”
You immediately regret your words as a fire lights itself in Natasha’s eyes. “Want me to help?”
“Nat, hold on. No thanks-”
“Shush, trust me!” To your dismay, Natasha is already on her way out of the kitchen when she finishes hushing you. You whimper out a half-baked protest, but your friend is long gone by the time the words leave your mouth. Fuck, you’re so screwed.
LIfe  was very quickly becoming a stressful game of hide and seek. You’d resorted to spending most of the day in your room, hoping to avoid Loki, and more importantly, Natasha. You’re not sure what she has planned, but it can’t be anything good. As weeks pass by with no incident, however, you begin to drop your guard. Maybe she’s taking pity on you.
It’s around noon when you get the text. It’s an all caps message from Nat, pleading with you to at least hear her out before saying no.
That’s a terrifying text. I’m listening.
Nat: I may have bragged my way into a drinking contest with Thor, and I need a teammate to make it fair.
You want to try and outdrink Thor????
Nat: I want US to outdrink him. I convinced him that it’d be more balanced if it was 2 to 1.
You owe me.
Nat: :)
It was a terrible idea, but maybe a nice night of getting hammered is just what you need to break you out of your funk. Despite your initial reluctance, you find yourself getting excited. You hadn’t really relaxed in ages, this would be a good thing.
As the hours pass, you start to get nervous. It’s been so long since you’ve gotten properly drunk, and you seriously doubt you’ll be able to keep up with even Natasha. Still, a promise is a promise, and you have far too much pride to chicken out now.
The clock reaches nine o’clock, and you sigh. Showtime. Before leaving your suite, you set several glasses of water and a bottle of Advil on your nightstand. If you’re going to fuck over your future self, you might as well try to ease her pain. You take a deep breath and spare a glance over at the mirror against your bedroom wall. You had opted for something comfy, but cute; an emerald green dress that stopped just above your mid-thigh, and fell off of one shoulder effortlessly.
Okay, so maybe you had wanted to get a tiny bit dressed up. You’re sure Nat will tease you for it, but sometimes a girl just wants to feel pretty.
A bit breathless from those pre-competition nerves--yes, a drinking contest was that serious--you make your way to the kitchen. As you round the corner, you stop dead in your tracks. Sitting at the bar Tony had insisted on installing, is Nat and Thor, of course. But next to them, perched delicately on one of the stools, is Loki. He wears a look of disdain, as if this entire competition is beneath him. You hope he can’t tell how badly you want to be beneath him.
Natasha gives you a wicked grin as Thor waves you over, his smile far more innocent-looking than Nat’s, though you’re sure he had a part in this. Cursing your terrible friends under your breath, and yourself for falling for it, you trudge over. Naturally, the only stool left is the one on the end, directly next to Loki. You gingerly hoist yourself up and slide onto the seat.
You stubbornly keep your eyes on the counter, not daring to even glance up at Loki. It’s obvious from the way he’s angling himself away from you and towards his brother that he’s regretting that night, and doesn’t want to be near you. You don’t blame him, humans must seem like animals compared to gods. The reality is that you were a mistake to him, and you just needed to accept that and move past.
Breaking the awkward silence, Thor produces a jug of what looks like beer from god knows where. He grins and gestures to it grandly. As he opens his mouth to speak, you cut him off. “Hold up! I thought this was two against one? Loki being here makes it unfair.”
Natasha rolls her eyes at you. “Yeah, I may have bent the truth to get you to come out. It’s teams of two, but we have a handicap. Our drinks and shots count as twice the actual amount, and they’ll be drinking Asgardian mead. So,” She smirks. “No more complaints, let’s do this shit.”
You swallow nervously at the mention of shots. You could hold your liquor fairly well, but you and shots had...history. Nat knew how touchy you got when you were drunk, and how much of an oversharer you tended to be. Though you have to admit that her plan is almost flawless, you’re still unimpressed with her shenanigans. She’s pretty much set you up to embarrass yourself.
You twiddle your thumbs in your seat as Natasha grabs a bottle of Svedka from behind the bar and begins to pour the beginning drinks. Following her lead, Thor pops open his jug and splits it between two large glasses, then passes one to Loki, who sighs in apparent boredom. He shoots you an unreadable look, then grabs one of the shot glasses that Natasha filled and slides it your way.
With a mumbled “thanks,’ you gingerly take the glass, and look at Nat and Thor. Thor raises his glass. “May the better warriors win!” He announces, then tips back his glass. You roll your eyes at the word choice, but bring the shot glass to your lips and throw your head back. The liquor goes down rough, but you manage to keep your poker face and grit your teeth against any retches.
“The lady can drink!” Thor bellows, wiping at his face.
You shrug, wanting the spotlight off of you. “Um, I went to college?”
Before Thor can question you, Natasha cuts in. “Hello? I took it just as well, where’s my applause?”
“Natasha, you are not a lady,” Loki deadpans. Nat glares and pours herself another shot in response, throwing back the second one just as easily as she had the first. She then points at you. You can’t help the laugh that bubbles up. Despite everything, Loki was still Loki, and he still had your heart. It seems that the tension between you and Loki dissolves after you laugh at his quip, and he relaxes his stiff posture.
You sigh in relief and reach for the bottle to refill your own glass. This time, it goes down easier. That is, until the burns travels past your stomach, right down to between your legs. You squirm in place at the unexpected burst of arousal. Still, you should have been ready for it. Alcohol has always gotten you a little worked up. It was your mistake to believe you could fight it.
Despite the setback, you keep up with your teammate as the night goes on. Shot after shot, broken up by the easy conversation that emerges as the liquor continues to flow.
You’re not sure when the competition was forgotten, but you soon find yourself splayed on the couch next to Loki, laughing hysterically at some story he’s just finished telling about Thor in his youth. You look over at him, hazily trying to center your double vision to properly admire the god. His cheeks are flushed red from the alcohol, and he looks more relaxed than you’ve ever seen him.
Loki glances over, catching you staring, but you’re far too intoxicated to be embarrassed. Instead, you hold your gaze, waiting for a reaction. Loki smirks, then eyes his brother with annoyance.
“Brother,” he says, voice a lazy drawl. “I believe we’ve won this contest, wouldn’t you say?”
Thor cocks his head, then widens his eyes in understanding. “Oh, certainly! In fact, I think it would be necessary for me to walk you back to your quarters, Natasha.”
Natasha begins to protest, but it dies on her lips as her gaze flickers between you and Loki. “What a gentleman,” she purrs, only swaying slightly when she rises from her seat. “Lead the way.” Taking his outstretched hand, Natasha stumbles down the hall with Thor, giggling excitedly.
Now that it’s just the two of you, you expect things to get awkward, but find that you’re still just as comfortable. “Well, I guess I have to bow to the drinking champ,” you slur, sitting up to give a half hearted bow.
Loki throws his head back and laughs. “You,” he manages between snorts, “are far more fun to be around than most others on this planet.”
You scoff and wave your hand dismissively. “You’re only saying that ‘cause I bowed to you.” Chewing on your lip, you let your eyes drift back over to Loki. In your drunken haze, he just looks so...comfy. Before you realize what you’re doing, you slide over to lean up against him. Loki’s surprisingly warm, and you sigh contentedly, letting your mind wander back to how his hand felt running up your thigh.
The arousal from earlier that you had forgotten about rears its head, turning your sigh into a shaky exhale that is not at all subtle. The air feels thick, just like it had on that one stormy night, and you press yourself closer to Loki, unable to resist how good his body feels against yours.
Loki freezes for a moment, then seems to force himself to relax into you. His arm snakes around you until he’s holding you comfortably against his side. For one brief moment, you start to wonder if this is a good idea, given how things had ended in the past, but the intoxicated part of your brain tells the sober part to go fuck herself, and then you’re speaking without thinking. “Do you want to walk me to bed?”
Oh, shit. You can’t believe that just came out of your mouth. A wave of sobering panic hits you, and you untangle yourself from Loki and shoot up from the couch. Before you can flee, however, a pale hand grabs hold of your arm, stopping you in place.
Loki gets up, then moves his grip from your wrist to your hand. “I think that is a lovely idea. Allow me?” With the hand that isn’t holding yours, he gestures toward the hall. Well, that was unexpected. You try not to giggle in child-like excitement, and instead nod hurriedly.
Your heart speeds up at the feel of his hand in yours, and you start off down the hall, letting Loki pull you towards your suite. Caught up in trying to navigate the titling floor, you don’t notice that you’re being led the wrong way until the two of you come to a stop at a door that definitely does not belong to you. You look up at Loki in confusion. “This isn’t my room.”
“I know,” Loki growls, then opens the door and whirls you both inside. When you’ve recovered from the swift movement, you manage to pull away from Loki’s grip.
“What-what’s going on?” You say, attempting to sound stern. Loki stalks towards you. Instinctively, you back up, until you’re pressed against the wall with Loki boxing you in.
Loki presses his hands to the wall on either side of your head and sneers at you. “What’s going on?” He mocks. “I’ve craved your body under mine since long before our little nighttime meeting, and I have run out of patience for games.” He leans in and presses a kiss to your neck, grazing you with his teeth. Just like before, his playfulness has given way to a domineering aura, but you’re not complaining one bit.
You barely suppress a full body shiver. “But,” you protest weakly. “I, I thought you regretted it. I mean, you never said anything about it, so I figured...oh…” you trail off into a soft moan as Loki roughly licks up the side of your neck, growling.
“And when would I have gotten the chance?” Loki pulls away from his assault on your skin to look you in the eyes. “You have been avoiding me for nearly a month.” Those blue eyes are staring daggers at you, and you realize that there’s hurt behind all that frustration.
Your mouth goes dry. He’s right, but the eye contact from his smoldering stare is making you forget how to speak. Fumbling with your words, you cast your gaze downwards. “Yeah, I guess I have. But with what you said after we were interrupted....I thought you were uncomfortable with what happened.”
A dark chuckle spills from Loki’s lips. “The only discomfort you have caused me is the nights I have spent spilling over my own hand because I could not have you. ”
You gasp softly as Loki’s words send a wave of heat through your overheated body. Loki takes that as encouragement, and presses himself closer until his lips are grazing yours. “Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll leave,” he mumbles, eyes hooded.
Your response is to surge forward, hands flying to the back of his head as you roughly pull him in to kiss you. You both groan at the contact. The kiss is anything but gentle; your fingers are tangled in Loki’s hair, tugging harshly, and you can feel his teeth nipping at your bottom lip. It was far better than you could have imagined, and the dizzying pleasure of it all has you feeling drunker and more sober at the same time.
Before long, the room spins as Loki lifts you and hoists your legs around his waist. He kisses you breathless as he walks slowly down the hall towards what you can only assume is his bedroom. There’s a giddy part inside of you that squeals with excitement at being carried like that, but it’s quickly overshadowed by lust as you and Loki reach his bedroom. He tosses you onto his king sized bed like a doll, then kneels on the floor and yanks your ankles until your bottom is almost hanging off the bed.
Loki slides your dress up and nuzzles the inside of your thigh. “I could smell your arousal the entire night,” he says, nearly purring. “May I taste?”
You sit up on your elbows and stare down at him, face flushed with mild embarrassment at his face so close to your soaked panties. Dumbly, you nod, words failing you. Loki growls his appreciation and hikes up your dress, taking a brief moment to admire the soft fabric. “You look absolutely ravishing in green, I’ve wanted to tear this off of you since the moment I laid eyes on it.” And then he’s sliding your panties down your legs and plunging his tongue into your heat.
A ragged gasp tears its way from your throat and you throw your head back. You feel the grin form on Loki’s lips against your skin, and a fresh gush of arousal flows down your thighs. Loki eats pussy like it’s an art form he’s been perfecting for ages. His lips tug at your pussy, worshipping every fold like it’s the last meal he’ll ever have. You open your mouth to make some joke about his silvertongue, but all that comes out is a pathetic whimper as Loki drags his teeth lightly across your clit.
It isn’t long before the pleasure reaches its peak.You fight hard to keep your legs from clamping around Loki’s head, but you can’t help it when you crest over the edge of orgasm. Your muscles lock up, your back arches, and you scream. White hot euphoria explodes from your core, spreading through your body like venom. Loki’s tongue works you through it, slowing to wide, long strokes as you begin to come down.
You’ve barely recovered when Loki rises from his knees and crawls up your body, coming to a stop when his face is inches from yours. His eyes are hooded, and his glistening lips are parted to allow frantic, heated pants to escape. “Pet,” he hisses, leaning down to nuzzle into your shoulder. “You taste sweeter than the fruits of Asgard.” He bites at your collarbone, making you shudder in your post-orgasmic haze.
Still out of it, you sluggishly fumble at Loki’s belt. “Wanna make you feel good, too,” you mumble and lick your lips. Loki bats your hand away, shushing you.
“Darling, there will be plenty of time for that later. Right now, I need to feel you.” He grabs your shoulders and drags you up to the pillows, so that you’re lying comfortably on your back with him hovering above you.
Your heart skips a beat at the mention of ‘later.’ So this wasn’t just a one-night stand? You don’t have time to process that, however, as Loki barely gives you a moment to breathe. He sits back on his knees, straddling your waist, and with a wave of his hand, you’re both stark naked. Your hands twitch, wanting to cover yourself. Being naked in front of an attractive man has always intimidated you, but the fact that Loki was a god made it worse. As if sensing your sudden shyness, Loki leans in to kiss at lick at your breasts, and brings his hands up to pin your wrists to the bed. You sigh in pleasure, insecurity fading with every hot swipe of his tongue, not even wanting to struggle against his hold.
Loki lowers himself to grind against you. His hard cock slides against your dripping folds as his narrow hips press into yours. Both of you shiver, and you arch your hips to bring him closer. Loki growls against your skin and sits up. He lets go of your wrists, roughly grabs your waist and angles it to meet his. “Ready, pet? I can’t wait, I need to have you.” he breathes, eyes locked on yours.
Like a deer in the headlights, you’re frozen, anticipation coiling tightly under your skin. Slowly, you nod. Loki wastes no time. He smirks, then slides himself into you, the stretch burning in the loveliest way. Your heated groan mingles with his, and when Loki’s hips come to rest against yours, he falls against your chest, panting. You appreciate the time he gives you to adjust; Loki’s cock is thick, and longer than anything you’ve ever taken, and you can feel it throbbing desperately within you. Now that he’s released your hands, you bring them up to thread through his soft, black hair. He closes his eyes and leans into your touch, nearly purring.
“Tell me when, love,” Loki grits out, fighting to keep his voice steady. The shakiness in his usually smooth tone is arousing to no end, and you can feel yourself clench around him in approval. Loki’s hips twitch at the fluttering of your walls, and though you’re more than ready, you decide to torture him a bit longer.
You bring your legs up to wrap around Loki’s  waist, pulling him closer. He shivers, but keeps his composure, remaining almost statue still. His concern for your comfort makes your heart swell, but you want to see him lose control. “You’re so big,” you whimper out, the alcohol in your system quelling the embarrassment you’d usually feel when talking dirty. You press your face into Loki’s neck, grazing your teeth along the pale skin there.
With a deep growl of barely kept composure, Loki rises up to rest on his elbows, desperate eyes searching yours. It seems that being the God of Lies gave Loki the ability to see through your cruel game, and his expression turns dark, though the neediness is still blatant. You shift nervously as he stares you down, already regretting your mischievousness. “Feeling playful, are we?” Loki asks.
Your mouth goes dry at being caught and your core tightens around him again, earning you a flutter of his eyelids. “I…” you trail off, eyes drifting to Loki’s parted lips. Watching you gaze, Loki grins at you.
“Oh, pet. I think you may be confused. You are mine to toy with, not the other way around.” With that, Loki leans down to crush his lips into yours. His tongue forces its way into your mouth and you whine around it. While his tongue’s distracting you, Loki takes his chance to begin pounding into you at a ruthless pace, and you break away from the kiss to throw your head back and shriek out a moan.
You feel utterly wrecked, stomach clenching and nerves alight with pleasure as Loki continues his assault on your body. Your eyes are squeezed shut, so his teeth nipping at your jaw come as a surprise, sending a whole new shockwave of sensation down your neck.
“You feel so fucking good, pet,” Loki moans, his voice quickly losing its characteristic steadyness. He sighs out something that sounds suspiciously like a whimper, and brings one of his hands down to toy with your clit. Your legs tighten around him involuntarily. “A-ah, fuck,” Loki grits out, increasing his pace.
The pleasure is overwhelming, and the unhuman speed at which Loki’s pounding into you leaves you no time to catch your breath. Moans and whines erupt from your mouth in a constant stream, and Loki keeps his mouth hovering above yours to drink them in. “I wanna cum,” you whimper as Loki’s assault on your senses continues.
“Then cum, pet,” Loki groans, hips stuttering. “ Cum for your god.”
You keen, writhing and chasing your high. As you climb up to your orgasm, you are met with a startling realization that Loki has already ruined you for anyone else. No human man could match the fire that he’s set upon your nerves, the blinding pleasure that mounts with every thrust and kiss. With that settling into your mind, you finally reach your second peak of the night.
Your eyes try to flutter shut, tears brimming at the corners as you wail Loki’s name again and again. Through the haze of your climax, you notice Loki’s muscles begin to tense as he nears his orgasm as well, and you force your eyes to stay open in order to watch him come apart.
Watching Loki cum is almost like a second climax. He speeds up impossibly, mouth hanging open and eyes barely able to stay focused on you. “You’re mine,” he growls out. Choked moans fall from his lips as he nears the edge, and you rake your nails down his back to encourage him.
“Cum in me, please, I need it, make me yours” you ramble breathlessly.
“Oh, fuck, I-I’m so close,” Loki manages, voice breaking. You continue to coo pleas and encouragements at him, and the way his eyes roll back at your wrecked voice gives you an intoxicating rush of pride. Finally, with a whimpering moan, Loki stills, cock pulsing within you and hips twitching as he pumps you full of his cum.
Loki slumps against you, still moving in aborted little thrusts, as if he can’t quite stop fucking you just yet. The weight of him on top of you is heavy, but not unwelcome, and you take the time to bask in the euphoria of having just slept with the god you’d pined after for so long.
“That was…” you start, words failing you.
“Divine,” Loki finishes for you. He slides his cock out of your pussy, and with it comes a gush of warm cum that you’re sure will stain the sheets. He rolls off of you, then guides you onto your side so that he can pull you up against him.
You weren’t expecting Loki to be the ‘cuddling after sex,’ type, so having him spoon you was surprising, to say the least. He nuzzles his nose into your hair, and you find yourself wanting to fall asleep like that; comfortable in his bed and safe in his strong arms.
Still, there’s a nagging question that won’t let you fully relax. Not wanting to expect too much, you brace yourself for the worst and open your mouth to speak. “Loki...what does this mean for us?”
Loki tenses behind you, and your heart breaks at the assumed rejection as he begins to pull away. “Are you...are you not mine? I thought this was-I’m sorry, I must have misunderstood. Forgive me.”
This time, your heart breaks for a different reason. Loki sounds so hurt, so unsure of everything, and you can hear a scared little boy behind that velvet voice. “No!” You nearly shout, turning around to pull him back to you. “I want to be yours, I promise,” you say as you tug Loki back into your arms, running a soothing hand down his back. “I just wasn’t sure if that’s what you wanted.”
The relief in Loki is visible as he relaxes into you. “Love, I am yours as much as you are mine, do not doubt that.”
The pet name brings a smile to your lips. “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” you reply happily. Heart full, you roll back over so that Loki can snuggle into you again, and finally let your drowsiness overtake you. You catch a faint, ‘I love you,’ just before you drift off to sleep, and though it could just be your mind playing tricks on you, you know that you love him, too.
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griffintail · 4 years ago
Text
A Day in the Life (Lost Ones)
Summary: A day with the new parents and how some of their friends reaction to their new bit of joy. 
Pairings: Platonic! Parental! Tommy, Wilbur, Philza, Technoblade, Eret, and Dream x F! Child! Reader
Previous | Next
Warnings : (In Phil’s Specifically) Death, Violence. (Generally) Swearing
A/N: Just so you know (F/L) means First Letter of your first name. Hope you guys enjoy! ♥
Tommy
        Tommy didn’t know what the fuck he was doing.
        Tubbo was even more clueless.
        When Tommy first came onto Tubbo’s doorstep frantically talking about being a father with a crying baby, Tubbo was in a state of great concern for his best friend. Tubbo knew Tommy as a scammer and a very…bold individual, to put it nicely. He did not think his friend had what it took to be any sort of fatherly figure. He was just too young and he was too…outgoing.
        The first day, the pair worked hard to figure out how to make the infant stop crying. They found out she just needed food and a diaper change. Tommy had groaned in relief, sitting on Tubbo’s floor as he held the baby feeding her the milk. From there, Tubbo questioned where he even found a child.
        “She was abandoned in a basket, in a tree. I decided to be a big man about it and take her in.”
        “Are you crazy? Tommy, you didn’t even know her gender until two minutes ago.”
        “Shut up.” Tommy huffed looking at his friend as he stopped giving (Y/N) milk for the moment. “I can figure it out, I’m still new to this Tubbo.”
        “I think maybe we should give her to one of the other guys. We don’t know what to do, we just ran around my house for five minutes trying to make her stop crying for god’s sake.”
        “I’ll figure it out! Even without your help.” Tommy looked back down at the infant, continuing to feed her.
        So, Tubbo went along with it. Tommy was stubborn and to make sure the baby didn’t get hurt, Tubbo said he’d help his friend. To be fair, they didn’t have to do much, it was just a lot of work to do the few things and barely any time to do the same adventures they use to do.
        Tommy was determined to do most of it on his own, only going to Tubbo when he was desperate for help. Which were a few times a week. He got better and better though, learning what (Y/N) needed and when.
        Tommy had managed to make a crib all on his own (with a couple of tries) and he discovered, (Y/N) liked her crib at the end of his bed. She just liked being close to Tommy often and he actually didn’t mind. He was proud to show off his baby.
        When he had shown her off to the others, they had all been in various bits of shock. Of course, when he first introduced her, the first thing he shouted was always;
        “I’m a father now bitch! Meet (Y/N)!”
        As he would, (Y/N) would giggle and babble, his excited energy rubbing off on her. After their various bits of shock (and Bad telling him to watch his language even more now that there was a baby), they would indeed think (Y/N) was cute but give him the same advice as Tubbo. Give her to an adult.
        “None of them! None of them think I can take care of you.” Tommy huffed as (Y/N) finished her milk for the hour. “Isn’t that ridiculous?”
        Tommy did struggle often. He didn’t get as much sleep as he once did, he stayed inside with (Y/N) more. It was a big change, but he was taking it seriously despite all his jokes. Just, no one could see it because they only saw Tommy as a child.
        “Well, they’re all idiots. I know I have this.” Tommy told the infant as he sat back in bed, holding her. “Right Little (F/L)?”
        (Y/N) squirmed slightly, babbling and Tommy smiled.
        “Right! It’s that time.” He grinned as he stood up, going into his chests next to his jukebox.
        As he pulled out one of his discs, Tubbo knocked on the door as he came in.
        “Hey, am I interrupting?” He asked.
        “No, you’re actually in time Big T!” Tommy said as he put the red labeled disc on.
        “For what?” Tubbo questioned confused as Tommy sat down.
        The music started to play and (Y/N) relaxed in Tommy’s arms. Tommy smiled softly, gently rocking her in his arms as he hummed along to the music. Tubbo was staring in amazement from behind Tommy’s seat.
        “Do you…do you do this often?”
        “Of course.” Tommy grinned at his best friend. “She’s got to learn great music. And look, she loves it so much she falls asleep.”
        He was correct as when Tubbo looked, (Y/N) was giving a tiny yawn as she nuzzled into Tommy.
        “Every day after lunch, I play the disc I got when I found her and she takes a nap.” Tommy quieted down; startling Tubbo as Tommy never quieted down. “I want to find more to let her hear more.”
        Tommy put her down in her crib once she was fully asleep, motioning to the door. They both left as the music kept playing.
        “We should go get more discs tomorrow.” Tommy declared, keeping his voice level as he went through his chests. “(Y/N) needs to hear them all and I want to have them all.”
        “You…do that every day?” Tubbo said, still caught up on Tommy’s gentleness.
        Tommy rolled his eyes. “Of course, I do. (Y/N) likes it and I like it so that’s our routine Tubbo. Sometimes it takes a while though and I have to move around the room.”
        He didn’t mention that he danced to the music with her though, laughing with her as she would giggle, slightly embarrassed about the cute routine.
        “So, are we going to go out tomorrow and get some discs or not?” Tommy grinned at his friend.
        Tubbo stood there, thinking over what he had just seen. He thought about how he was actually wrong about Tommy. His best friend really cared about the girl; his own little girl. Tommy had acted drastically different than what he usually did to make sure she was well and happy. The taller boy was actually taking this very seriously and Tubbo couldn’t help but be proud of his friend.
        “Tubbo.” Tommy snapped his fingers, looking at him disapprovingly.
        “Oh, yeah. Let’s get some discs tomorrow. It’s been forever since we’ve gone on an adventure.” Tubbo smiled.
        He thought Tommy could do this whole dad thing right.
        …
        Then he slightly regretted his words in the morning when Tommy showed up with the little girl and his adventuring gear.
        “We are not taking (Y/N). It’s dangerous Tommy!” Tubbo protested.
        “Nothing will happen to her; I wouldn’t let it. Neither would you. And try and say no to this face.” Tommy showed her off, grinning. “Come on now Uncle Tubbo.”
        Tubbo paused, getting slightly giddy. “Uncle Tubbo?”
        “Of course! Now! Let’s go get some discs!” Tommy took lead.
        “…Wait! You distracted me!” Tubbo called exasperated as he followed his best friend.
        (Y/N) giggled as Tommy grinned wider. Tommy was stubborn but in the case of being a father, it was a good thing as it meant his baby would grow up healthy and happy and he could care less about what others would say.
          Wilbur
        L’Manberg didn’t have many secrets but it had one well-guarded one. That would be the simple fact that (Y/N) existed.
        After the first night with the new baby, Wilbur had gathered all the men inside the van.
        “Time to greet the people little one.” He smiled as he heard the commotion of Tommy trying to command the others.
        Coming out, he put on a serious face as everyone went quiet. Of course, Eret and Fundy already knew. The teenager had his arms crossed, looking away from his father and new sister, as Eret gave a small smile. The other two of L’Manberg…
        “Did you fuck another fish?!” Tommy shouted in exasperation to his brother.
        Fundy gave Tommy an offended glare as (Y/N) squirmed at the sudden loud noise.
        “Tommy, quiet down now,” Wilbur told him as he gently rocked the little girl, Tubbo awing at how adorable she was. “Eret found her left outside the walls last night. I’m taking her in as she was obviously abandoned. So, meet the first woman of L’Manberg, (Y/N).”
        “(Y/N) is a wonderful name.” Eret smiled a bit wider.
        “She’s so cute and small,” Tubbo said, taking a step closer to get a better look at her.
        Tommy huffed, already bored as Fundy simply stayed quiet.
        “That being said, we are in the middle of a war.”
        The weight of everything came back to rest on their shoulders as everyone with a smile stopped holding one. It was a dangerous time for all of them, no one able to leave the walls without a friend. Walls that were supposed to mean their freedom.
        “That’s why no one must know (Y/N) exists. She must be a secret from all of the Dream SMP. They’ve shown how ruthless they can be and I don’t want to think about what they’d do if they knew about her. So, beyond these walls, (Y/N) doesn’t exist.”
        Everyone gave a nod at the same time as (Y/N) had started to play with the ruffles on Wilbur’s uniform. He smiled gently as her as he took her hand, letting her play with his finger instead before looking dead serious at his men again.
        “I can’t have just a nod. I need you to be verbal. This will not be taken lightly.”
        Tommy spoke first as he gave a salute. “You have my word, Wilbur!”
��       Wilbur cracked a small smile; he could always rely on his little brother. “Good, now quiet down a bit.”
        From there, it was a chorus of promises and she was their biggest secret that united them. Not even a traitor would dare breath word of her place in their walls.
        The men could see a difference in their leader every day since then.
        He left the van more often, actually going to his own home in the walls. Daily, everyone would see him carrying (Y/N) with him in her own little uniform he made on a walk within the walls. He sang more often like he used to before the declaration of war was made in order to soothe the little girl or simply to make her smile. There was a reason for him to relax and be soft and everyone was rather glad after all the weight he had been forced to hold.
        Wilbur also saw the change in his men as the days went on.
        Tubbo found joy with such an adorable new addition. He would sometimes join Wilbur on his daily walks within the walls to have a chance to hold the small girl. The young boy loved to also give her little gifts, usually toys he thought she’d like. He was very excited when Wilbur told him that she slept with a bee plushie he had gotten her.
        Tommy was curious about her. Such a small thing, he was certain he was way bigger than her when he was that young. Wilbur let him hold her on the occasion if Tommy asked, but wouldn’t wonder if Tommy was holding her. He had faith in his little brother, but his eccentric energy just put Wilbur a little on edge. Often, Tommy would brag to the little girl that he’d be the coolest uncle and teach her many swear words when she got older, much to Wilbur’s dismay.
        Eret did like the little girl, he really did as she was such a precious little thing, but he tried not to put too much attachment to her. He had begun…he had begun a different path and he didn’t want to also betray the little girl. And, the more separation he felt from her, the easier it was to lie about her existence. Though, there was the occasion he would do the same as Tubbo and gave her a toy or two, unable to help it as it put a smile on his face.
        Fundy was different. He had been an only child for most of his life and now he had a little sister? It was only natural that he was jealous and sulked at all the attention she got from their father. Their father did try to include Fundy though; inviting every day on their walks, offering to let her feed instead, asking to play his piano while Wilbur sang. Unfortunately, Fundy wanted nothing to do with his little sister, often saying he hated her, which repeatedly broke Wilbur’s heart but he had faith; he’d change his son’s mind.
        “I’m trying to have a peace talk with Dream today,” Wilbur told Fundy as he shrugged on his jacket while Fundy was sitting in the front seat of the van.
        “Ok, and?” Fundy looked up at him.
        “I’m taking Tubbo and Eret, Tommy’s staying guard and you.” Wilbur handed him a piece of paper. “And you are taking care of your sister.”
        “What?! What the hell?” Fundy exclaimed, jumping up.
        Wilbur put the paper in Fundy’s hand. “I have to go and try and make peace. I have faith in you son. (Y/N) would love to spend time with you anyways. Take good care of her alright? I don’t trust Tommy to watch her for so long but if you really need help, get him.”
        “What…Why do I have to watch the brat?”
        Wilbur gave him a stern look. “Fundy, she is your little sister. She is a part of our family. And family takes care of each other. Now, I want you to be nice to her and take care of her. Understood?”
        Fundy clenched his jaw, shoving his hands in pockets. “Yeah, yeah.”
        “Good.” Wilbur smiled at him now. “She’s still sleeping in my room. That paper is what she needs and when. You can do anything with her in-between. I’ll see you in a few hours my son.”
         Wilbur left; his heart heavy as this was the first time he’d leave (Y/N) alone but hope helping it float as he hoped Fundy could love his sister as Wilbur loved her.
        Fundy went into his father’s bedroom and saw the little girl already waking up slightly. He gave a heavy sigh as he picked her up carefully, holding her close.
        “I hate you.” He muttered as she looked up at him.
        The little girl giggled and he lowered his head. She gave pet to his face to feel the soft fur.
        “I hate you’re too fucking adorable to hate.” He huffed. “Just don’t tell dad. Now, come on dipshit, time to eat.”
        Fundy was jealous, yes. But he could never actually hate his adorable little sister. He’d keep her safe and make her happy too.
        Wilbur got back later than he expected as Dream and his goons had chased their peaceful band like sport but they managed out relatively unscathed. The moon was already up and Wilbur was worried as he hadn’t written instructions for this long in the night for Fundy. After Tommy reported no incidents along the walls, Wilbur rushed home but froze, his heart-melting. In the living room, there was a long finished playing record on the jukebox and on the couch, Fundy laid with his arm over (Y/N) securely as she laid on his chest, both of them asleep.
        “Thank you, my little champion,” Wilbur muttered with a smile, gently picking (Y/N) up before putting a blanket over Fundy. “I’m proud of you.”
        Wilbur held (Y/N) close to him as he walked to his bedroom.
        “And you, my little star, a day won’t go by where you won’t be loved. You’re our little star of hope in L’Manberg. You remind everyone what we fight for and you bring everyone smiles. We will bring peace, just so you can see how bright you shine my little star.” He kissed her forehead before putting her in her crib. “Sleep well love.”
          Philza
        Walking took longer than flying but it was definitely safer for his new little angel. He had tried to find her parents, asking around with the survivors but they weren’t there. So, Phil took her with him to meet his sons. When he started this journey, of the list of things he’d thought would happen, he didn’t think he’d gain a new child. Yet, there she slept peacefully in the sash Phil had made to carry her and keep her warm rather than carrying her in his arms the entire walk.
        She most certainly quieter than most of his other children had been when they were this small, which Phil did not mind one bit. When she was awake, he would talk to her to fill her world though. He’d tell her about her new brothers and how he was sure they’d all love her in their own way.
        “Techno will take a little convincing, he has a thing about orphans.” Phil scrunched up his nose. “But he’ll learn to you like you (Y/N).”
        He hadn’t been able to find a name either for the new baby so he gave her one on his own.
        Finally, after days of travel, Phil reached a crest of a hill and was able to see a beautiful town laid before him. From the looks of some decorations, they had some sort of festival recently. The worrying part was the people in armor down below, but, a large portion of them were celebrating. Phil scanned them over then he grew a large smile. Wilbur was patting Tommy’s shoulder as the younger boy was screaming with one of those celebrating, Techno to the side smirking.
        His sons had managed to figure it all out.
        “Looks like we were a little late angel. Your brothers can be smart when they choose to be.” He chuckled. “We’ll wait here and let them have their moment of victory.”
        He sat on the edge of the hill, giving (Y/N) her afternoon milk as he watched the crowd below and listened to the start of celebratory speeches. As he quickly burped the infant, he frowned as Wilbur left his seat in the crowd, walking away as Tubbo was getting on stage.
        “Let’s go see what he’s up to.” He muttered to the little girl, putting her in his sash securely before carefully flying over.
        He landed as Wilbur walked into a room in a hill behind the stage. His eyes went wide as he remembered one of Tommy’s letters.
        Will keeps saying if he can’t have L’Manberg, no one can. He made a room rigged to TNT under our nation. I’m hoping to talk him down but I don’t know if I can.
        “Shit.” Phil sprinted over, walking into the room after his son.
        Inside were mad scribblings as Wilbur stood with his hand on the wall next to a button.
        “What are you doing?” Phil asked him.
        Wilbur jumped, whirling around to see his father standing there, wearing a sash, unable to see the child it was holding.
        “Phil…?”
        “What are you doing?” Phil repeated.
        Wilbur ran his hands through his hair as he looked back at the button then his father.
        “How’d you…do you know what this is?” He motioned to the room around him.
        “I do.” Phil nodded, stepping carefully forward.
        “Have heard the songs on the walls?” Wilbur asked in turn as he ran his hand over a few of the words. “I was just saying to myself, there was a special place where men can go, but there’s not anymore! It’s not…” Wilbur sighed as he looked back at the button.
        “It is there,” Phil told him as he put a hand on the side of the child to calm her down as she squirmed. “You just, you’ve just won it back.”
        “Phil! I’m always so close to pressing this button, Phil! I’ve been—I’ve been here like seven or eight times I’ve been here.” Wilbur threw up his arms as Phil stood his ground when he saw the crazed look in his son’s eyes.
        The little girl tried to give an uncomfortable babble at the loud shouting but Wilbur talked over her, having yet to notice the extra body in the room. In comfort, Phil put a hand over one of her ears as he pressed her close to him.
        “Phil I-I’ve been here so many times.” Outside of the room, they all could hear the sound of fireworks going off. “They’re fighting. They’re fighting.”
        “And you want to just blow it all up?” Phil questioned.
        “I do I think I—”
        “You fought so hard to get this land back.” Phil tried to discourage one of his older sons. “So hard.”
        “I don’t even, I don’t even know if works anymore Phil,” Wilbur said, his hand hovering over the button, making Phil take a step forward. “I don’t even know if the button works I could, I could press it and might not…”
        Wilbur looked back, grinning like a mad man and Phil squeezed the young girl lightly.
        “Do you really want to take that risk? Wilbur…” He went to continue to say, hoping to bring up his new little sister to discourage the man but Wilbur looked away, staring at the button.
        “There was a saying Phil, by a traitor. It was never meant to be.” Wilbur pressed the button, grinning at Phil as the hiss went off.
        “No!” Phil shouted, quickly pulling his son close as he covered the three of them his wings as the blast went off.
        He winced as the blast and the heat singed and damaged his feathers but he didn’t move as he held his two children close. He wouldn’t let them get harmed.
        The sound of white noise rang in their ears as the explosions slowly stopped. Phil raised his wings slightly to look in horror at the destruction before them. Outside their half-destroyed room, Phil slowly started to hear the voices crying with terror at what they just witnessed as Wilbur stood before the hole holding his arms out as he grinned.
        “My L’Manberg Phil! My unfinished symphony forever unfinished! If I can’t have this no one can Phil!”
        “Oh my god.” Phil breathed, the ringing dying down enough for him to be startled at the cries closest to him.
        (Y/N) screamed out cries in the aftermath of the loud explosions and shouting, her own ears ringing. Phil held her close, trying to calm her down despite his horror and disappointment. Wilbur finally heard the cries himself and looked over to finally notice the little girl. For a moment, he could see through his madness.
        “Who’s…who’s this?” Wilbur muttered.
        “She’s (Y/N),” Phil told him as he put his forehead on the little girl’s. “I came to help you and found her. I brought her to show her what her new brothers made. What great work you’ve done.”
        “What great…” Wilbur looked over at what he had done.
        Behind him, he could hear the cries of his new tiny sister he hadn’t been aware he had. Phil had brought her to show her a place of peace and beauty, but instead, Wilbur showed her terror and destruction. Across the explosion, he could see Tommy’s horror-struck face at the sight of their once great nation gone. This was his fault…
        He pulled his sword, holding the handle to Will. “Kill me, Phil.”
        “What?!” Phil looked at his son shocked, still clutching onto the crying girl.
        “Stab me with the sword. Murder me now. Kill me!” Will demanded as he motioned to the crowd. “Look, they all want you to!”
        Phil was stood in shock as he held a crying child in one arm while looking over at the crowd of terrified and horror-filled faces.
        “Kill me, Phil!” Wilbur shouted.
        “I—You’re my son!” Phil yelled. “No matter what you do—I can’t—”
        “Phil!” Wilbur shouted, shoving the sword handle into his hand. “This isn’t—! Look! Look! How much work went into this and it’s gone! Do it.”
        Phil looked from his son to the crowd, to the child in his arms. He couldn’t…why’d…(Y/N) should get a chance to meet her own brother! L’Manberg had ruined his son. He had gone mad…
        “I’m sorry.” He whispered under his breath before plunging the sword.
        Tears filled Phil’s eyes as he let go of the sword and held his son. (Y/N)’s wails only got louder and Phil cried with her.
        “I’m sorry, I’m sorry both of you.” He muttered
        He wished everything could be different…
        …
        Phil sat by the fire with the L’Manberg citizens, one of his hands shaking slightly as the other gently rocked the no longer crying child.
        Tommy had been speechless since the betrayal he received from both of his brothers, but looking up at his father across from him, he stood and spoke.
        “Who’s she?” He asked.
        Phil looked at him as the others looked over as well.
        “This is your new little sister (Y/N). I found her when the village I was staying at was raided and I saved her. Would you like to hold her?”
        Tommy came over and sat in front of his father. Phil helped him before letting his now second youngest hold her on his own. Tommy’s face had held no emotion after everything today but now it softened as the little girl met his eyes. He hugged her lightly as Phil held onto his shaking hand with his other to stop it.
        “I wish you could have seen what L’Manberg looked like (Y/N),” Tommy mumbled to her. “Wilbur and Techno betrayed me but I promise. I won’t betray you. I never will do that to you.”
        Phil looked at his son sadly as Tommy put his forehead on hers softly. At least Phil knew that she’d be well-loved by the brother she got to meet properly.
        From there, the next few days were made for rebuilding. Phil helped the group as best he could but he had to rest to let his wings heal and he also had to take care of his little angel. Tommy made sure the others built Phil one of the first houses so his sister could be in a proper bed.
        It warmed Phil’s heart that Tommy cared so much about his new little sister. Tommy would visit the pair occasionally just to see her, Phil giving him a little bit of trust to take care of her. Of course, Tommy used that trust to be his usual self and brag about how cute his little sister was to anyone that would listen to the boy’s antics. Though many couldn’t deny the boy, she was a very cute little girl and often brought smiles to other’s faces.
        Phil was glad that his quiet little girl could bring joy to people that had been through so much. He just wished that she had had a chance to bring smiles to those that didn’t walk beside them any more…
          Technoblade
        “Phil,” Techno called on his walkie, trying to quiet down the girl crying in his arms.
        “Yes?” Phil answered.
        “She won’t stop crying,” Techno told him, Phil, able to hear the girl, chuckling quietly to himself. “Don’t laugh at this!”
        “Sorry, sorry. Alright, you feed and changed her right?” The older man listed.
        “Yes.” He had done it a few minutes ago, on his usual schedule to do so.
        “Did you burp her after she ate?”
        Techno paused and huffed before burping the child, the cries dying down after she released the gas that had built up.
        “I forgot, she stopped.”
        “Good. Just relax now, alright Techno?”
        “Yeah.” Techno sighed as he put his walkie away, looking down at the little girl. “What now brat?”
        It was often that Techno called his father to ask what to do. To put it simply, he was worried he’d fuck this all up. He had never exactly taken care of a child before; it had been all anarchy and blood before he decided on retirement. Hell, he barely ever took care of Tommy when he was a child, that was usually Wilbur’s thing.
        He didn’t know the first thing he was doing nor did the voices. They always threw out different ideas contradicting each other. So, Techno always did his best and when it didn’t seem like enough, he went immediately to Phil.
        When he did have things under control though, it was just any other day. Brew some potions out of habit, take care of the animals before collecting food for himself and milk for (Y/N), and trade with some of the villagers close by. The only difference was that he brought (Y/N) with him while he did anything.
        To his relief, she was a quiet child and didn’t mind his quiet nature. She didn’t need pointless noise to be happy so he could just simply work. Techno did get Phil to make her a warmer outfit and Phil took it seriously but also made it a joke. He made her a pink outfit from wool and leather and with a bit extra, put fake pig ears on the hood of the outfit, which Techno would never admit looked adorable on her out loud.
        He most certainly didn’t put it on her even if they weren’t going out that day, why would anyone think that?
        Phil most certainly did spoil her though when he would come over. He’d always have something new for the little girl, clothes, and toys. His father also often tried to discourage Techno from using some of his nicknames for his child when the older man was over, such as brat.
        (Y/N) yawned quietly and Techno chuckled, a small smile cracking on his face.
        “Tired early huh? Yeah, ok, I can use a nap.” He nodded as he went up to his bedroom.
        He sat on his bed, leaning back on the headboard as he racked his brain for their daily ritual.
        “I got a good one today.” He laughed quietly. “Let me tell you about the story of Theseus.”
        Every nap and bedtime, there was always a story for Techno to tell. Sometimes he’d tell her about his adventures around the world, about the places he conquered. There were other days when he’d tell her about myths he had memorized. It was when he’d talk the most to the little girl and he rather enjoyed these moments in his day.
        It was their special little thing and he wouldn’t ever want to miss them.
        Close to the end of the story, he stopped as he noticed (Y/N) was asleep. He nodded as he laid back, resting her carefully on his chest.
        A crib was one thing Techno had not invested his time in. He didn’t move in his sleep and it was rare for the little girl to move in hers. So, he slept with her on his chest, giving him and the voices a better piece of mind. No one knew where he was, but he was still paranoid. This was the safest place for her.
        “Sleep well little goddess,” Techno muttered, a hand on her back.
        Despite the trials, he didn’t mind being a father.
          Eret
        Eret put a small flower crown on the infant’s head that matched the one he was wearing, smiling as she giggled, before picking her up, continuing on their daily walk through the SMP.
        It was a lot of trial and error with the pair but Eret was a quick learner and adapted to the needs of his new child. He didn’t do as much as he once did with his friends, fewer prank wars with Fundy, and less involvement with Tommy’s antics, but he didn’t mind. He spent those hours with his little princess now; taking walks with her, playing with her along the way and in the castle, and making clothes that made her the adorable princess that she.
        Of course, he did still sometimes get involved.
        “Eret!” Tommy yelled on the walkie.
        Eret chuckled as he took it from his pocket. “It seems Tommy is having troubles again princess.” She gave a babble and Eret nodded. “You’re very right. Let’s see what he needs. Yes, Tommy?”
        “I need your help at my base ASAP!” Tommy demanded.
        “It’s nothing dangerous right?” He asked.
        “Of course not, now if you could hurry.”
        He shook his head chuckling. “Alright, I’m on my way.”
        Putting the walkie away, he hugged his little girl lightly as he changed direction.
        “Sorry princess, we need to go check on Tommy. I know you won’t mind though.”
        There were other times that had happened similarly and Eret would take (Y/N) with him to meet the younger boy. The younger boy’s energy would rub off on the infant and she would get excited as well, babbling and giggling constantly. As long as nothing dangerous was going on, Eret was glad to bring (Y/N) over as it always brought a smile to his face at how adorable she’d get.
        Walking onto Tommy's property, he saw the young boy waiting impatiently outside his dirt home.
        “There you are! You brought the brat?” He huffed.
        “Come now, Tommy. (Y/N) loves being around you, at least be kind to her.” Eret smiled, knowing the boy meant no ill will.
        “Right, now!” Tommy said dramatically as he opened the door to his base. “I need to make a plan!”
        Following him in, he saw Tubbo was also there looking over a paper with Tommy’s handwriting on it. Tubbo looked up as they came in and grinned seeing the little girl in Eret’s arms.
        “You brought (Y/N)!” Tubbo exclaimed excitedly as he came over. “Can I hold her?”
        Eret laughed as he nodded, helping the other boy hold her. Tubbo enjoyed seeing the little girl, loving to play with her and spend time with her. There were times when Eret would let Tubbo babysit his princess so he could do a few more dangerous tasks.
        “You got a little crown, you’re really a princess now.” Tubbo grinned as the girl babbled at him.
        “We’re not here for (Y/N), we’re here to plan!” Tommy protested now.
        Tommy didn’t mind the small child, he just got annoyed when the focus would come off him.
        Focus went back on Tommy but Eret left after a little while to give (Y/N) her lunch for the day. She had gotten energetic after seeing the two boys, babbling and giggling as Eret played with her on the walk back. As they got back to his castle, he saw a wrapped package and note at the main door. Picking it up, he saw it was Fundy’s handwriting.
        You stand no chance, it’s for (Y/N)
        He raised an eyebrow, opening the package then laughed.
        “It seems Fundy wishes to make you love him more than me.” Eret showed her the fox plushy, making her eyes sparkle as he gave it to her. “But I know that you’ll always love me, princess.” He booped her nose, (Y/N) looking at his sunglasses, babbling. “That’s right. I think this prank was an automatic failure. I love you princess.”
          Dream
        “Come on (Y/N), you just got to hold out your hands to me,” Sapnap told the infant in the crib at the community house.
        “No, she’s going to me,” George argued.
        The little girl looked between the two as they went between bickering and encouraging her to hold her hands out to them. Then she looked directly between them and held her arms out giggling.
        “What?” George looked behind them and yelped seeing Dream.
        “What are you idiots doing?” Dream laughed as he picked up his daughter.
        “We were trying to get (Y/N) to choose her favorite uncle, but then you ruined it.” Sapnap huffed, crossing his arms.
        “Well, I am her favorite person.” Dream bragged as he pulled his mask up while looking at the little girl. “Peek-a-boo.”
        The girl gave a little squeal of laughter and Dream chuckled rubbing his nose against hers.
        “She loves both of you idiots.” Dream told them, put his mask back on. “You’re her uncles.”
        “Yeah, but I got to prove Uncle Sapnap is the best.” Sapnap pointed to himself.
        “No! I’m better than you of course.”
        The two bickered and Dream shook his head at his friends before leaving the community house.
        “Your uncles are stupid.” Dream whispered to the little girl, tickling her stomach making her giggle. “Why don’t we go look at what the new people have built today, sound good sweetheart?”
        After Dream had taken in the little girl, his life had most certainly brightened more as their world around them grew. She was a constant ball of happiness that always made Dream and his friends smile. Of course, they had to power through learning how to take care of a baby, a lot of screaming coming from all parties the first night they had the child. But they were starting to get the hang of it.
        One thing Dream loved to do that always seemed to please the little girl was taking her around to see the new buildings that were slowly starting to appear as more people joined their land of the SMP. She seemed to like taking in the new sights so Dream took her whenever someone new came or a new build appeared.
        “I don’t know what I’m going to do with your uncles when you get older. They’re going to be falling over each other to get your attention.” Dream told her as he walked. “I think they think I’ll like whoever wins. You’re my special little girl after all. But what they don’t know, is I don’t care as long as you’re happy.”
        It was very true that Dream’s two best friends were always falling each other to get the attention of the infant already. They got her many things to win her over, having similar competitions when Dream wasn’t looking. Right now, the score was even.
        To try and balance the two-out, Dream would alternate on who he took out for dangerous adventures and who would stay with his little girl. He couldn’t send the both of them on their own, unfortunately, least one of them “trips” into a lava pool.
        Dream stopped on the edge of the new property, (Y/N) looking at the colorful flowers decorating it.
        He was a bit hesitant to show her off to others as he wasn’t the most trusting but if they were going to be part of his land, he would introduce her out principle. He did say she was going to be the princess of his land.
        “No new faces today doesn’t seem Tommy is around.” Dream said to her. “We’ll see him later I’m sure. How about we go visit Punz for a bit?”
        He walked away from the property. There were so many people on his land now, he was sure it would become a bright place where his little princess could always be happy.
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This may be a minor gripe but something that has kind of bothered me about discussions and depictions of Dan is how often people seem to forget that Dan isn't just an older evil Danny, he's a combination of Danny and Vlad's ghost sides. Like people always talk about him like Danny threw away his humanity and turned evil but that's not even true. Sure, we can say that Dan is the result of Danny's action but that's a little unfair. (1/2)
(2/2) Him cheating on a test, coincidentally putting his loved one's in a position where they could be killed, is absolutely not his fault. Letting Vlad take away his ghost powers with a strange contraption might not have been the smartest move, but we are talking about a grieving CHILD here, of course he isn't going to make the best decisions. If anything Vlad's the one to blame here, and even then, it's not like he could predict what happened
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you aren't wrong, my friend. it really isn't entirely danny's fault and the whole 'if you cheat on a test, you'll loose everything you love' moral is confused at best. i think as fandom we find it more interesting to look at danny's potential evil and moral struggle with himself. so simplifying it to be dan is a worse case scenario of danny makes the conflict less abstract.
particularly because when it comes to self blame danny isn't going to go easy on himself just because it was excusable mistakes.
i think another talking point should be how danny is the target of the time assassination more than vlad is, even though vlad is part of the evil whole. you could argue that danny is the catalyst of his friends death and vlad inventing the claw things. but vlad invented the claw things. maybe because his human side survived and acted relatively harmless from then on? or maybe it's because the observants based on the available evidence recognized danny as more of a threat. i think that fits actually, for all vlad tried to be an evil mastermind, his achievements outside of terrorizing a teenager and theft isn't particularly impressive. danny was the one who got shit done. all his fights he finished one way or another and i could see how that would bleed into dan defeating everyone.
the real question is how to we fix this. ideally we could shape this idea so it's less confused, though i do honestly find the dynamic of half danny, half vlad interesting. if for not other reason. than two half ghosts make a whole. actually that's something else to be said about dan. his self-loathing is what led him to killing his human half, another negative aspect coming from danny.
i wonder if we could frame it like fusion, from su. obviously dan isn't stable or healthy, or based on love. he's most comparable to malichite. but with less internal debate. dan took the best and worst of both of them. danny's determination, danny's fighting ability, danny's anger, danny's sarcasm, vlad's anger, vlads lack of morals, vlads schemes, vlad's control. heck, vlads desire to rule the world. i don't think we ever got that from danny.
maybe if vlad was more involved in the fight with dan it could have been used as an opportunity to compare and contrast their characters. to go we're not so different you and i. danny gets to recognize that he has that dark potential. vlad gets to be humbled by the fact that what he wants isn't good for anyone, especially himself. and to be fair, we do see some of that humbling with future vlad, but none of that character growth is given to present vlad, so, really it's just another vehicle for danny angst. it also depends on what you want to do with vlad though. he's a fascinating character and could be given redemption under the right circumstances or be a character who has the opportunity for redemption but chooses not to be redeemed every time.
that fits him and makes him both a more pathetic and despicable villain. it's hard to pity someone who ignores the opportunities to heal and grow.
as for danny, he becomes far more aware of the consequences his actions, especially his selfish and cruel ones can have. because that potential was always there. he has a history of abusing his powers. perhaps for this specific incident him abusing his powers can be something less understandable than almost cheating on a test that he couldn't study for through no fault of his own. (maybe i just have flexible morals?). maybe it could be something more character relevant, like he did something particularly vlad like, maybe he set up a prank at the nasty burger to get dash but it set off the explosion that killed his family. or maybe he did something particularly cruel and manipulative. there are better catalysts than a test. either way he recognized that he should never go that far again and strive to avoid being actively cruel.
he also has the opportunity to recognize that vlad does have a human half, even the one he's fighting everyday. he can face some conflict in it's not entirely clear what trait belongs to vlad and what trait belongs to him. he can empathize with vlad and he can recognize that situations aren't always in black in white. those who fly the highest, fall the hardest, after all.
it can be a growing experience. and while making it solely a danny goes bad and learns not to do evil kind of story. maybe we could cut vlad from the equation and just have danny face himself, full evil refection. i think exploring both vlad and danny through this fusion is far more interesting. especially because we can build on what's revealed about vlad in these episodes, in later ones. danny sees a future where vlad chills and that maybe his vlad could get their. later he see vlads past and what he lost to become who he is.
and then there's vlads turning point episodes. i don't know when motherly instinct took place but maddie fully recognizing he's a bastard and rejection him, was a turning point for his sanity, and danny helped it along. then we have danny rejecting him repeatedly, then we the clone episode, which we can all agree was a desperate move on his part, that danny once again thwarted. and we can all agree that this was the cannon turning point for his character where he stopped fighting for a family and started trying to be danny's villain. in that episode, i think danny could potentially pity vlad enough to try and reach out. he's not going to justify what vlad did and he's not going to apologize for stopping him. he went too far. he hurt danny and dani, he crossed a moral line that can't be justified even with his desperation. but if he changes...
he lost this time but if he changes, maybe they'll reach the point where they're ready to accept him.
i think the same thing could be said about his relationship with jack and maddie. if he changes, if he reaches out. if acts like less of a crazy fruitloop, his friends would be there for him. jack is still trying to be there for him, even if he's being oblivious about vlad's faults. vlads the one driving wedges into his relationships and pushing everyone away.
and that's so freaking human and understandable.it would be such a cool thing to explore with his character.
i could also see a potential arc where after valerie finds out vlad and masters are the same person she tries to get close to him, both to sus out how evil he is and to understand him as a halfa. afterall danny got her to acknowledge dani as human enough, the same would apply to vlad/plasmius, right? only he's a bad person and the more she uncovers about vlad masters the man, the more she realizes it's not the ghost half that's evil. but this is a double edged sword because, vlad is getting attached to her and encouraging her to be more evil. he's encouraging her to go darker and darker in her fight against ghosts and her fight specifically against phantom. to the point where she finally draws the line and says, i'm not doing that! boom exploring the moral ambiguity of her character and getting her to take a hard stance on her morals, because there's a line too far for her.
and boom a further breakdown of vlads character because he finally had someone outside the fentons to redeem him. she could have helped pull him out of the hole he'd been digging himself into. she wanted to help him. he got attached to her, but he and his bad decisions decided to dig himself deeper instead. so once again he's 'abandoned and betrayed'.
from that point, i think it'd be time for him to finally face jack head on. not through manipulative schemes. not through veiled threats and insults. but the full confrontation of 'i always hated you. you ruined my life. you're the reason i lost everything'. which is really just his own self loathing speaking. and jack... empathetic jack can see that vlad desperately wants help. and jack would offer it to him. jack would try to hug it out and apologize and give vlad the love and friendship vlad's been fighting to steal this whole time.
and vlad would reject it.
he'd probably lash out a jack and go into a full breakdown/world destroying attack. could finally put the stolen crown to use and try declaring himself king and embracing his megalomaniac thing and actually be a threat this time. and THAT would be our series finally. everyone teaming up to fight 'king vlad'. danny probably finding out that he's technically king because he beat pariah dark but the matter being a bit confused because he had help. val and danny trying to find the ring of rage or at least find someone who can make one. secrets are out. i imagine vlad, upon revealing himself to jack would out danny to make danny as sad and alone as him. except nope, his family still loves him and val has had the character development to come around to him. (she's still gonna punch danny for lying for so long.) the ghosts will come and help because no one wants another tyrannical kind and vlads obviously off his rocker.
ah, the could have beens
anyway, i didn't mean for this to become a full vlad character analysis and rewrite when we were supposed to be talking about dan, but hey, i'm a simple creature. i like good writing, and i have to rewrite things myself, so be it. - Hestia
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omiscurls · 3 years ago
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hi!! could i request a diluc x fem!reader angst where they were childhood friends, and when reader gets a fiancé, diluc tries to confess his feelings but reader rejects him, gets married and moves from mondstat, and every now and then diluc sends reader letters (apologizing, asking how readers day was, hoping they come back). thanks!
unrequited
plot: reader rejects the character
contains: diluc
warnings: angsty and like one curse word, that’s all
diluc was a cute kid.
as the heir to one of the most wealthy and powerful families in mondstadt, he was polite not only to his senior, but also incredibly nice to his friends, as well. different that most boys his age, he didn’t go around yelling dumb, inappropriate jokes, and didn’t take pride in making girls feel bad.
he was always sweet to those doing worse than him in class, be it theory or sparring, and acted like an absolute saint to his adopted brother.
naturally, how could one not adore a kid like that? how could the mondstadt girls not line up to see him each time, how could the boys not want to play with him? how could anyone resist, when he had that charm to him that seemed to draw people near almost against their free will?
finally, how could you not take pride in the fact that out of all those over-the-top girls who fought over each other to talk to him, out of all those boys that never failed to bug him in each little scrap of his free time, he chose to try and get close to you?
you didn’t understand it at first, but it seemed like he genuinely wanted to know you, his eyes looking as though they were studying your expression at all times, a warm smile welcoming you each time you passed him by.
his words were careful and his sentences always strained, as if he struggled to talk, but a sense of honesty and genuine sympathy always seeped through his words, confusing your little childish brain, but also forming a warm and fuzzy feeling inside your chest. 
over the years, not only did you finally answer to his advances, but also befriend the kid. his rare smiles were reserved for your eyes only, and his mind opened up before you each and every time you talked, no restrain and limitations between you two. 
he’d sit behind you in class, sometimes passing you notes with an answer to questions you didn’t know, or a funny note about the teacher, or just simply asking if you want to hang out after school. 
you’d go to windrise and sit under the tree, talking for hours about the most useless of things, about what you thought the clouds looked like, but also your futures, your dreams and hopes. 
he’d explain math to you before every exam in the dark rooms of dawn winery, hair pulled up and tea made for the both of you, looking at your struggling with unmistakable patience and affection, but what could you know? you were kids, barely even teenagers. why would you think anything of the way he said he’ll “always be there for you” after some simple math tutoring? how could you analyze his kind stare that you never saw him wear for other people? 
and so you didn’t. 
he’d sit with you on the counter of his kitchen, carefully caressing your back as you wet his shirt with tears, quietly telling you that “they didn’t deserve you anyway” after your first ever heartbreak. to hell with the fact that his own heart was breaking a millimetre more with every word he spoke, if what he said calmed you in any way, he’d talk all night, going on and on about how you deserve the world, and nothing less. 
you held his hand at his fathers memorial service, letting him tighten his grip on your fingers harder every time, you wiped away the tears, you listen to his sobs and pleas when the two of you were alone. you offered solace to him over the next painful months, you justified every word he hurt kaeya with, only to make him feel better about himself. 
to him, you were like an angel sent from above. you restored the faith he had lost in the world, you stuck by his side and lighted up his days one after the other, how could he not adore you?
how could he not fall in love? 
and trust when i say, he did really try to avoid it. he tried pushing his thoughts away, he tried focusing on something else, tried avoiding you, tried everything. no matter what he did, his mind circled back to your smile, and unconsciously he smiled as well, even if the next second he’d look in the mirror and wipe it off his face as if it was a crime to smile. 
diluc was a cute kid, and he grew up to be a polite gentleman, whom you called a friend. and as any polite gentleman, he wouldn’t dare do anything to loose the honor you had given him, so he stayed silent. stayed silent since his in-class notes, through talks about the future, through your breakups, through all the times you had been there for him. in no universe would he ever mention how the weight was lifted off his shoulders every time you as much as looked his way, how all the clouds went away at the sound of your laugh, and how he was ready to do anything in the world to keep you happy. 
somewhere in his mind, perhaps he thought you had somehow known all along, and would reward his efforts to not complicate your life with his emotions with loving him back, but how could you know? how, if he kept it a secret that well? 
in the end, his own plan backfired on him, and he realized he had lost when you ran through his door, tears in your eyes, but a smile on your face, showing off a ring, shining in sunlight, resting on your finger.
if he ever thought “they didn’t deserve you” hurt him, “i’m so happy for you!” stabbed his soul a thousand times more painfully. 
to normal people of mondstadt, there was no change in behavior from the gloomy and serious owner of angel’s share, but a few noticed how heavy his presence was, how desperately he blinked back the sheen layer of tears, glistening in the candle light while he was serving drinks, and you were off somewhere in the back, laughing with your lover by your side. 
he had lost his chance, and now there was no way in which he could get you back. no way at all. all his life, he had built up a hope inside that one of these days, he’ll get a happy ever after, and lived with that thought through all the bad moments that came along the way, and now these years of carefully building this scenario came crushing down with the realization. 
in a desperate search of any relief, he came to the conclusion that the only thing to be even remotely at peace with himself was to... simply just tell you. 
so there he was, right outside your door, the watch on his wrist striking ten in the evening, stars shining brightly on your doorstep, as you appeared before him, merely a nightgown shielding you from the cold air of the night, a soft smile adoring your lips from the moment you realized it was him. 
“diluc? what’re you doing here this late?” you said, grabbing a coat from behind the door and closing it behind you. a foolish hope sprung inside him when you joined him outside, as he stared at you with a little grin, working up the courage to speak up. 
“there’s something i wish to tell you about” he merely whispered, gesturing you to come with him.
the walk to windrise was longer than the ones you remembered from your childhood days, and the sharp air nibbled on your skin mercilessly, to the point your legs hurt a bit when you reached the tree.
diluc turned your way and spoke for the first time in what felt like forever, but was thirty minutes.
“i hoped not to burden you with the secret i’ll share with you now, and i’m sorry for whatever bad outcome it might cause, but… truth is, i can’t keep it to myself anymore, and if i want to have some peace for myself, i have to trouble you with it.” he said quietly, settling worry in your gut.
“you can tell me anything” you assured calmly “your secrets are always safe with me”
he took one last look into your caring eyes, feeling a little better just having you smile at him, and took a breath before spilling.
“i might’ve been in love with you for the last ten years” he said calmly “and i know this is hardly the time, i really do, but i just-“
“what?”
you looked at him in surprise, blood audibly pumping through your veins as you tried to comprehend what he just said.
“i do understand that you’re engaged, but-“
“do you? do you, really?” you said bitterly, making his heart sink in regret. “because to me it seems like i waited for you all those years, i hoped, and i prayed, and i wished, and after i finally, finally gave up, you decide to mess with my emotions right when i thought i had them figured out?”
diluc was stunned. so you felt the same way about him, once? he could’ve had all he hoped for? he didn’t even comprehend the rest of your sentence fully, focusing on how you just admitted to having feelings for him somewhen in the past.
“no, i’m not trying to mess with you, I’m-“
“but you are! honestly, diluc, i knew you were somewhat insensitive, but this is blatantly cruel! what- i don’t- why didn’t you say this to me earlier?”
“i wish i did, but to me it seemed like you were always chasing someone else, and i didn’t want to-“
“bother me? is that it? you didn’t want to bother me so now you decided to try and mess with my relationship? god, i- i need to be alone right now. sorry.”
and with that you were out of your usual childhood spot, leaving him alone under the tree that shared both of your secrets and plans for so long.
a longing stare pierced through your back as you ran back to mondstadt, not going home right away, but trying to find a spot where nobody would find you.
“fuck” he muttered. he was familiar with the feeling of loss, but the fact that it was nobody’s fault but his own made it a hundred times worse.
diluc was a cute child, and grew up to be a polite gentleman. so he was there to apologize to you on countless occasions, ready to beg forgiveness for his recklessness and lack of thought, but you were never there to hear his pleas.
and so it went on, a huge wedding covered the streets of mondstadt in white while he stood in the sidelines, his friends said goodbye to you as he watched from a safe distance. you left, and so did every remaining proof of his embarrassment.
nevertheless, he sent countless letters, no address on the envelope, save for the name of the city, hoping that one of them would eventually reach you. sorrow and tears almost spilled from the words written in a tidy cursive, but he never had any certainty about wether they reached you or not.
and while he hoped you forgave him,
he knew you didn’t.
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shslrose · 4 years ago
Text
SDR2 Boys React to You Flinching (Part Two)
Hajime, Kazuichi, and Izuru react to you thinking their going to hit you.
Hajime Hinata
Your boyfriend, Hajime Hinata, had visited you at your dorm in the Main Department building at Hope’s Peak Academy. What started out as a casual conversation quickly dissolved into a heated argument when Hajime started talking about how he needed to transfer out of the reserve department.
“Damnit, Y/N!” Hajime cursed. “Why can’t you see how important this is to me?”
“Hajime, please just listen to me,” you begged, trying to get him to see your side. “Talent isn’t everything!”
“That’s easy for you to say!” He exploded. His words increased the tension in the room tenfold, and you had a feeling things were about to get worse from here. 
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” You asked, almost daring him to continue. He held your gaze, refusing to back down. The look in his eyes was so intense, it was almost hard to look at him.
“You’re an Ultimate!” He spat, as though it were an insult. “You have no idea what it’s like, not having talent…!”
You had never heard him this fired up before, and it was starting to worry you. He sounded so… resentful. The intensity of it all almost scared you.
“What, are you jealous of me?” You asked. “Hajime, you need to understand that there are more important things than having an Ultimate talent.”
“I’m not jealous! But you… you don’t even value your talent!” His voice shook as he shouted. “I-It was a dream for me! To have a talent I could take pride in! To walk through Hope’s Peak Academy as an Ultimate! You… don’t deserve to be an Ultimate!”
As he spat those last words, he threw his hand up in frustration. Acting on pure instinct, your entire body tensed and you squeezed your eyes shut in fear.
“Y/N…?” He called out to you. “You..You flinched…? Y/N, I would never-”
“Please…” Your words were so soft, he almost didn’t hear them. “Just go.”
“What?” He sighed. An overwhelming feeling of guilt ran over him as he noticed the tears welling up in your eyes.  “I-I can’t just leave you, I mean, you’re crying! I...I made you cry.”
Gently, he wrapped his arms around you. He held you tight as he whispered apologies in your ear.
Kazuichi Soda
When the argument started, you had been spending some time with your boyfriend, Kazuichi, in his room. He been acting so possessive all day, and when you finally asked him what’s wrong, he admitted that he was upset about how much you had been hanging out with a certain classmate of yours. 
“Kaz, it’s not a big deal,” you insisted. “Just chill, alright?”
“How can I chill when my girl is spending all her time with some other guy?!” Kazuichi exclaimed, over-enthusiastic as always. “I swear, I’ll put him and his hamsters six feet under!”
“You need to calm down, Kaz.” You said. “Like I said, it’s not a big deal, we’re just friends.”
“Miss Y/N, you just don’t get it!” He said. “He’s a teenage boy, you know!”
“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?” You questioned, your face burning at his suggestive words.
“Well… you know… like, when a teenage boy looks at you, he’s only gonna be thinking about one thing!” He said, blushing as he spoke. 
“Kazuichi, how can you say that?” You said. “Just because you’re a pervert doesn’t mean Gundham is!”
“H-Hey, why are you defending him?” Kazuichi asked. “I mean, c’mon, do you have a crush on him or something?!”
“You’re being irrational, Kaz.” You insisted. “He and I are just friends!” 
“Oh, he’s your friend, is he?” Kazuichi scoffed, as he puffed his chest. “Well then, since the two of you are such good friends, maybe you just date him instead!”
“Fine.” You retorted, fed up with this stupid argument. “Maybe I will.” 
You got up and started to storm out of the room. The moment your fingertips grazed the doorknob, you felt your hand get snatched back. Kazuichi let go of your hand as you turned to face him, and you watched as he leaned forward, placing his palm against the door, effectively pinning you against it while making sure it would stay shut.
“Kazuichi?” You gasped. 
“Why are you being like this?!” He growled, his jealousy having reached new heights. 
“Let me leave!” You yelled, the hint of desperation in your voice left unnoticed. He pulled his hand back off the door, but in your peripheral vision, you could have sworn his hand was going to strike you. Without thinking, you shut your eyes, hard, and let out a soft gasp. Kazuichi watched as you fell back against the door as you flinched.
Kazuichi had never felt more confused in his life. It took him a moment to even register what had happened. His eyes widened when all of the dots finally connected in his mind.
“Miss Y/N...did you think I was going to...ugh, I can’t even say it,” he paused for a moment before continuing. “I’d never hurt you, ever! Ya know that, don’t you?”
“I-I’m sorry, Kaz,” you apologized, but he quickly shook his head.
“No! I’m the one who should apologize, Miss Y/N! I got so worked up, just cause I was feeling jealous… so, it’s my fault! Please, forgive me!”
Kazuichi would continue to apologize, continuously, for the next several hours. 
Izuru Kamakura
Your childhood friend, Hajime Hinata, was gone. In his place was someone different, someone whose entire existence confused you. 
In a way, he could say the same thing about you. Everything about your existence confused him. Normally, he felt nothing but boredom and indifference. But when he met you for the first time…
“Hajime?!” You exclaimed, partially out of joy to see your old friend and partially out of shock at his appearance. 
“No.” The man who stood before you replied calmly. “The one called Hinata Hajime is gone. I am Izuru Kamakura.”
“...huh?” You felt confused as you tried to understand.
“Did you know him?” Izuru asked, but he already knew the answer. He could tell by your tone, the sweetness in your voice as you had called out his old name. There was also the fact that when he looked at you, he felt… something. Something he had never felt before. Something he couldn’t identify. He realised quickly that whatever it was, it must be some leftover remnant of Hajime’s feelings.
This feeling… he thought to himself. I like it.
That was a while ago. You’ve been by his side ever since. He still found you boring, like everything else in this world, but from time to time you managed to surprise him.
Most of the time you spent together was spent in silence. Izuru always seemed to know what you were thinking anyways, so talking was mostly pointless; and whenever the two of you did talk, you were the one who started the conversation. But today, as the two of you walked side by side through the streets of Towa City, he spoke to you.
“Did you love him?” Izuru asked you.
“What?” You could feel his gaze trained on you, observing your every movement as he made deductions in his mind.
“Hajime.” He stated plainly, and for a second you swore you saw a flash of annoyance in his eyes. “Did you love him?”
“Did I...wait, what?” You mumbled, unable to think straight.
“Are you truly going to make me ask again?” His voice did not waver. “You really are dull.”
“I-I’m not dull!” You defended yourself. “That’s just.. I mean, why would you even ask something like that?!”
“I’m...curious.” He stated, his voice seemingly as calm as ever, and for the first time, he looked away from you. It was relieving to not have his eyes on you while you thought of a reply, but you couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking.
“Curious?” You asked, but he said nothing back. Sighing, you decided to continue. “Yes. I...I loved him, I guess. He was my childhood friend...my best friend...how could I not?”
Still, Izuru said nothing. You looked to the side and noticed that Izuru was no longer next to you. He had stopped walking a few steps back. You turned around, and walked towards him until the two of you were standing face to face.
Sharply, he raised his hand. A gasp left your lips as you closed your eyes, bracing for an impact that never came. A moment passed and you opened your eyes; his hand was mere inches away from your face.
“Izuru…?” You asked. He had done it on purpose, you realized. “Why did you..?”
“You love him.” Izuru stated. “But, you fear me.” 
“That’s not it…” You said, breathlessly. “I’m not afraid of you, Izuru.”
“You should be.”
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a/n - thank you so much for reading! requests are currently open so send some in :D 
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