#the fact he’s in charge is a travesty.

[nanowatzophina]

Behold. An beautiful idiot.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:

michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club

*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***

that's it that's the movie

outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative

actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.

aka Michael Myers Is A Republican

but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too

also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain

side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty

i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978

(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)

oh no he's hot

[odinsblog]

Can you say coverup??

Mayor Eric Adams, journalists and the NYPD all conspired to keep Daniel Penny’s name protected while assassinating the character of Jordan Neely.

And, as if that wasn’t bad enough, they all have repeatedly omitted the fact that Daniel Penny’s father is a retired, high ranking NYPD police officer who very likely worked with Eric Adams when he was a cop. These are completely newsworthy and germane facts, but the media is bending over backwards to not mention any of it.

EDIT: Please reblog with this important correction:

I have turned off the previous version of this post so as not to add to disinformation

Now, we learn that the gruesome video that was released has been edited to omit the parts where Daniel Penny was warned that he was killing Jordan Neely, but continued choking him anyway.

Worse still, Penny has not been arrested. And instead of charging Daniel Penny, the police are trying to force a Grand Jury hearing instead of doing what they would do if the positions were reversed and Neely had murdered Penny in cold blood, in front of dozens of witnesses.

This entire thing is a perverted travesty of justice and reveals just how closely journalists work with the police to protect the police and other murderous white supremacists.

This is what intertwined systems of structural racism looks like.

We need justice for Jordan Neely.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Dean Obeidallah at The Dean's Report:

Donald Trump was NOT convicted by Joe Biden, he was NOT convicted by the Judge, he was NOT convicted by the District Attorney.  Donald Trump was convicted by a jury of his peers. A jury, I should note, that Trump was personally “very much involved” in picking per his lawyer Todd Blanche on CNN Thursday night. And that conviction happened in the state where Trump committed his crimes after a full trial that lasted more than a month where Trump was represented by a team of very experienced lawyers who presented his best defense. That is how our Constitution and criminal justice system works. There were no surprises here. As I predicted in my article before the trial began, “Trump is going to be a Convicted Felon by June." That was based on my experience as a trial lawyer and after reviewing the evidence the prosecutors had laid out in their pleadings. Common sense said that the only reason Trump paid Stormy Daniels “hush money” ten years after their affair —but just a week before the 2016 election—was to defraud voters of the truth. To that end, Trump falsified business records to conceal his illegal scheme. The jury saw the facts as they were, hence Trump was found guilty on all 34 counts and is now a CONVICTED FELON.

Yet now we see Trump and MAGA reject the jury verdict by attacking it as “rigged,” a “sham,” etc. MAGA House Speaker Mike Johnson called the verdict, “the weaponization of our justice system.”  Marco Rubio weighed in on Twitter, writing, “The verdict in New York is a complete travesty that makes a mockery of our system of justice.”  The always awful MAGA Rep. Elise Stefanik, posted, “Today’s verdict shows how corrupt, rigged, and unAmerican the weaponized justice system has become under Joe Biden and Democrats.”  Spineless Tim Scott said on CNN Thursday night, “This was certainly a hoax, a sham” with the even worse Ted Cruz stating, “This entire trial has been a sham, and it is nothing more than political persecution.” And the list goes on and on. But this is no surprise, it’s part of MAGA telling us they reject our Constitution and the foundations of our democratic Republic. After all, Trump and MAGA rejected the 2020 election results because Trump lost. They rejected the criminal justice system when they smeared the indictments against Trump as being a sham. And now they publicly reject our jury system, which is one of the cornerstones of the US Constitution as laid out in the Sixth Amendment.

The question that must be asked is given Trump and MAGA reject our elections, our criminal justice system, the rule of law and our Constitution, what exactly do they support?! The answer is simple: Convicted Felon Trump. That’s it. [...] Let me repeat what I’ve been writing and saying for months: Don’t count on the courts, the prosecutors or a jury to save us from Donald Trump. We are the only ones who can do that by coming out in huge numbers to defeat him this November. This may sound jarring but it’s the truth: MAGA is a cancer. If allowed to metastasis, it will kill our democratic Republic that so many sacrificed so much to defend. The good news though is that the cure to MAGA cancer is right in front of us. All it takes is voting in big numbers this November.

The butthurt MAGAs crying and whining about Convicted Felon Donald Trump being convicted on 34 charges for business records falsification is more proof that the extremist anti-American MAGA cult needs to be crushed at all costs.

See Also:

Vox: Why the ludicrous Republican response to Trump’s conviction matters

MMFA: MAGA media rage in response to Trump's 34 guilty verdicts

RWW: MAGA Martyrdom Machine Portrays Felon Trump as Victim, Vows Revenge

HuffPost: Right-Wingers Are Already Promising Vengeance After The Trump Verdict

Daily Kos: Republicans choose MAGA lunacy over the law after Trump's conviction

[gleefully-macabre]

Has anyone done a fic where Moist Von Lipwig gets put in charge of the Ankh-Morpork equivalent of the IRS? The fact that he never got the chance to Big Sell the wealthy nobility out of 10 years of back taxes plus interest while rewriting the tax code in order to justify hefty rebates to the poor (they’ve been overpaying taxes for generations!) and, I dunno, killing the automobile industry in its infancy for funsies is a gourd damned travesty!

[thewebcomicsreview]

Homestuck 2 updated early this month, and we're Yiffy now. It's a Valentine's Day miracle!

Yiffy was one of the most interesting characters in HS2, because literally everyone treated her like shit constantly. Jade's giving her daughter a smooch but also Jade sent her off to a boarding school explicitly because she was embarrassing to acknowledge and also Jade named her child Yiffy Longstocking on a joke and never bothered to change it. In the epilogues, Rose acknowledged that nothing in Candy was "real" and she was joining the rebellion basically for the luls, and one some level Jade and Rose don't think Yiffy is a real three-quarters-human person, and I think they think of her more like an OC in a game they like.

Well, that was my read of HS2, lets see how HSBC handles her.

Oh, this visual is great. Kanaya is so pissed off she's turning into the Ancestor art style in real time. She also kind of looks like Batman, here.

No doubt if your POSSE OF PUBESCENT PUNKS back at school could see you now they'd throw up laughing.

I am suddenly way more interested in Yiffy's gang than I am in half the HS1 cast. What kids join a gang led by a dog girl named Yiffy Longstocking?

Engineering that reprieve might be just about the only real solid your no-show non-mom has ever actually bothered to do for you.

Oh thank christ, there was a part of me worried that Yiffy wouldn't resent her parents for being the second-worst parents in HS2. This is the most interesting thing in the sequels, I think.

TAVVY: ,,, And also, everyone knows you exist now,,, instead of just me,,, TAVVY: And our moms

TAVVY: Wow,,,! YIFFY: TAVVY: You know, i was almost kidnapped,,, once,,, TAVVY: My mom removed the window, after that, TAVVY: Which, um, sucked, TAVVY: Though, i guess you'd know, uh, about that,,,

Oh, interesting. Tavvy knew about Yiffy this whole time? Actually, this and Yiffy's description of him via narration earlier imply they grew up together. I guess that makes sense, since he's Jane's kid and Jade inexplicably put Jane in charge of Yiffy, but he never told Vrissy about her secret sister? That's a bit fucked up, dude. Yiffy's not saying anything (and I hope she doesn't for a long time, until she has something meaningful to say), but her text color is Dave's red, even though she's not related to Dave. Or she is and HSBC is going to retcon HS2's most hated plot point somehow.

Pepis

Look at this ARRANT BEAVIS double fisting those cans of pop

"ARRANT BEAVIS" is a great Homestuckism

The Sylph has been slow boiling, you can tell.

Interesting that Yiffy refers to Kanaya as "The Sylph". I don't know what else she'd call her, I suppose, but Yiffy of all people being the one to mention Classpect is odd.

You've only been around this earth for 15 years, but it's a self-evident fact that there are no useful authorities. Gifted with unimaginable power, their concern only stretches so far as to manhandle those dependent on them, and tangles into ineffectual deadlock the instant it meets a challenge worth addressing. Potential killed for the sake of comfort. True kindness is real, but only for those that bare teeth and break skin. Why should these disingenuous, bystanding, spineless, SELFISH adults get anything they want?

Fuck yes, Yiffy hates all the HS1 characters. I've been hoping for this, she has more beef with them all than even Tavros, and it's a bit of Vriska energy this comic has needed that neither actually Vriska really provides.

Yiffy being the best thing about HS2 was maybe a hot take before, but hopefully it isn't now. She's great.

JADE: and of course you arent obligated to ever forgive me but... i dont want to lose you too! JADE: i love you kanaya JADE: youre my family KANAYA: You Fucked My Wife

This is the best update in the entire comic.

KANAYA: And Though That Travesty Of A Name Is Undoubtedly An Incomprehensibly Offensive Piece Of This Particular Puzzle KANAYA: What I See Is Not An Explanation KANAYA: But A Glossing Over Of The Worst Detail ROSE: Jane.

Yeah, HS2 kind of glossed over Rose/Jade putting TrumpHitler in charge of their literal child. I could copy/paste this whole conversation but basically Kanaya is pointing out that there's like fifty plot holes in Yiffy's backstory and it makes no fucking sense at all and are they going to retcon her to being Jade/Dave's ecto-kid?

ROSE: You've managed to exhume the solemn cadaver of my mother's memory and make her the star of another argument. KANAYA: As If You Ever Bothered To Bury Her ROSE: What does this have to do with anything!? KANAYA: What I Am Doing Is Demonstrating That I Have No Intention To Mediate This Situation KANAYA: Or Pacify It KANAYA: Or Even Be A Little Bit Nice Right Now KANAYA: So Perhaps Youll Actually Take Me Seriously For Once

This is the well-earned sass we've been waiting for since Yiffy's reveal.

ROSE: But more than anything else, I took her up on it because it felt oddly ROSE: inevitable. ROSE: Anyways, ROSE: Deep down, I knew it didn’t matter. ROSE: However we handled it. ROSE: Whatever hurt we caused. ROSE: It was never that serious.

Man, I'm glad that I'm live-blogging and put my read of the situation up as I went because I fucking called it. Yes! I am capable of retaining information when I read instead of staring at the screen slack-jawed.

ROSE: I knew you would forgive me. KANAYA: Rose KANAYA: When Did You Stop Trying JADE: yeah rose!!!!! JADE: what the fuck!!!!

Oh shit, Candy Rose is evil?

JADE: b-but i just dont want things to get even worse!!!!!! KANAYA: Then stop pretending that my feelings are top priority KANAYA: AND TRY BEING HONEST FOR ONCE JADE: WHAT DOES IT EVEN MATTER!!!!!!! KANAYA: Excuse Me? JADE: you heard me! JADE: you were wronged kanaya! JADE: the truth cant change that JADE: saying it just fucking hurts more JADE: what does that accomplish? JADE: its so embarrassing, would you even get it if i had?

JADE: you have no idea what its like out there JADE: how traumatizing dating regular citizens was JADE: imagine trying to love someone who already knows every available detail about you JADE: who has *opinions* on what happened to you as a child JADE: who assumes youre indestructible JADE: newsflash it fucking sucks!!!!!!! because no matter how nice they were JADE: they didnt want to know me JADE: they wanted to date the god of space

I have no notes, this is great and I'm thrilled everyone is mad now.

JADE: so everyone could lecture me again on how "bad" my "boundaries" are? ROSE: (I did that one time.) JADE: you want bad boundaries JADE: do you know how many people would be waiting outside public bathrooms to talk to me about their problems? JADE: this one guy randomly started apologizing because they cooked their hamster in the microwave! JADE: and they looked so sad... i had to hug them and say it was ok JADE: but it was not ok! JADE: they murdered their hamster! Rose: Ugh... JADE: and their other hamster killed itself KANAYA: JADE JADE: out of loneliness!!!!!

What the fuck, this is amazing.

The art here is great, by the way.

JADE: millions of people told me they loved me JADE: but i was never a real person to them JADE: i couldn't let that happen to yiffy too KANAYA: What JADE: i had to save her kanaya! JADE: give her the chance to grow up as a normal kid with a normal life

Jade she's half-dog and she's named Yiffy Fucking Longstocking, that ship has sailed. How are people not going to know she's your child?

Oh, okay. She wears a hat. Sure.

This art is so good!

KANAYA: Even If I Didnt Want Her KANAYA: She Was Already Here

*Makes a note in my "ominous foreshadowing lines journal*

What. Why does Jade have a Frankenstein in her inventory? What's that about?

And that was the update. Honestly? Banger, easily the best HSBC update yet. I could, and if I didn't have DnD in five minutes perhaps would (and perhaps still will!) write a whole essay on this. Phenomenal. A+

[sleepyfan-blog]

Religious Excerpts

Author's note: this is the first part of the Fem!Guilliman in 40k AU fic! I hope that you enjoy it! Next

tagged: @egrets-not-regrets @the-pure-angel @i-am-a-dragon34 @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @bleedingichorhearts

warnings: religious writings, deification,

summary: A small collection of snippets from a collection of writings on the demi-goddess of the Imperium, Roberta Guilliman

She had asked for a brief synopsis of how she was most likely to be seen as, by different parts of the Imperium. She had sent out hundreds of intelligence gathers to move stealthily throughout the Imperium, including within Ultramar itself.

Her sons had been eager to follow her every order, the worshipful way in which they interacted with her bothered her tremendously. But she had been handed a dataslate that was a collection of poems, psalms, prayers, and fables written about The Lady Of Ultramar, the Daughter of the Emperor, Roberta Guilliman. If known, the date of creation and the author’s name has been noted down, though many such details have been lost to time.

Ballad of the Risen Primarch - written by Frater Matthew, Militant Apostolic, M42.076

The Lady with her sword aloft

Charges into  the fray

To hunt down the vile traitors

And bring them true dismay

From deepest slumber, she arose

And she answered our prayers 

While we were lost and desperate 

Showing us that she cares

She scoured Chaos from Imperial Worlds

And chased them from our space

The Avenging Daughter protects us

From Chaos and disgrace

From deepest slumber, she arose

And she answered our prayers 

While we were lost and desperate 

Showing us that she cares

The xenos quail before her gaze

And fall before her might

Orkz, Aeldari, Tau, Tyranids

Failed to survive the fight 

From deepest slumber, she arose

And she answered our prayers 

While we were lost and desperate 

Showing us that she cares

Her divine light shines so brightly

As does her wit and charm

She rules with a just and fair hand 

She protects us from harm

From deepest slumber, she arose

And she answered our prayers 

While we were lost and desperate 

Showing us that she cares

She guards us from internal strife

Corruption, decay, lies

All are placed into cleansing flames

She is Evil's demise 

From deepest slumber, she arose

And she answered our prayers 

While we were lost and desperate 

Showing us that she cares

This was written by Frater Matthew, the current Militant Apostolic working alongside Primarch Guilliman herself. He was inspired to write this poem after spending a number of months in her holy and robust presence.

She could feel a familiar headache starting to build in the back of her mind, and a low, frustrated growl threatened to rumble through her chest. She had picked Frater Matthew as he was an orator of some skill, and able to rally mortals and Astartes alike to his cause. But this... Travesty was annoying to read through.

Mother's Psalm - Author unknown. Suspected to have been written somewhere in the mid-M35s.

The sacred temple lies

The saintly Mother, who's eyes

Watch over her sons’ endless toil

At home and on foreign soil

The stasis field keeps her here

Away from the reaper's spear

Traitor's poison will not take

The fortress’ walls will not break

As Mother does, Maccrage stands

Protected by loving hands

And a sturdy wall of blue

Made of sons, loyal and true

One day, Mother will awake

With her, a new dawn shall break

She'll lead us out of shadows

And send evil to the gallows

This Psalm is found to be commonly sung by serfs of Ultramarines as well as their successor chapters, along with the civilian populations of Ultramar itself. The Psalm is also sung by the Auxilla of Ultramar, though they tend to prefer singing war songs in praise of The Avenging Daughter as she leads them to battle in Righteous fury against foul xenos and traitors alike. 

A soft sigh left her as she finished reading the psalm. At least this was less overtly religious in tone, though the fact that this was marked as a psalm did not improve her mood in the least. She was starting to realize just how wide and deep the Adeptus Ministorum had a stranglehold on the Imperium of Man as a whole... This was going to be a misery and a half to slowly and carefully untangle... If she could.

Prayer for Information This prayer was written sometime in the early M37s, by a Historitor whose name has been expunged from all records by the Ordo Hereticus.

Oh great Lady of Insight and wisdom, Maiden Mother of fair Ultramar, I come to you, humbly, on bended knees and clasped hands.

To you, I confess that I have not been sending my daily morning prayers to Him on Terra as I should be. Instead, I have been researching what I can of the history of our Great Imperium. I know it is a sin to try and learn of the past beyond what is taught in school… But my curiosity pushes me onwards nonetheless. Surely this knowledge will not cause harm?

You have my deepest thanks. For I and many others upon the world of [REDACTED] owe you our lives. Because if your auxilla and Astartes had not come to our rescue against the [REDACTED] we would have all been killed and our souls consumed by the forces of [REDACTED]. 

I humbly ask you to grant me entry into the library within the Temple of Corrections, where I would be able to continue my research and studies. I feel that if properly understood, our past could teach us many things. I patiently await your response.

Your humble servant,

[REDACTED] 

There was quite a bit of fierce debate as to whether or not to include this particular prayer to Lady Guilliman, as it has heretical elements in the prayer. Ultimately, this shows that even otherwise stalwart and obedient citizens can be heretical, and that one must always be vigilant.

... Since when was knowing the history of the Imperium illegal? Father damn them all. Those who did not learn from history were doomed to repeat it. She buried her face in her hands for a moment, unable to read on as she swore viciously in every tongue she knew. Considering what the Inquisition was like... She could guess that this poor Historitor's fate was a gruesome and miserable one indeed. She also hated that this letter had been phrased as an Emperor-damned prayer.

Psalm of praise - written shortly after Lady Guilliman’s interment into the stasis chamber, perhaps three hundred years past that event.

I will extoll the Lady at all times; her praise will always be on my lips. I will glory in HER; let all who hear rejoice. Glorify the Lady of Ultramar with me; let us exalt her name together. I sought the lady, and she answered me. She delivered me from all my woes.

This Psalm is frequently murmured by serfs and similarly ranked civilians who often work under Astartes. Particularly while the Astartes are preparing for a particularly vicious and bloody battle. 

After reading the first psalm, she decided to skip the rest of the section, the blood boiling in her veins as the grip on the dataslate caused the device to creak in protest. She would rather not have to request a new one with this information on it, because she had broken this one in her fury.

A Lesson in Obedience- This fable was written sometime in the early M34s, and presented without the artwork to shrink the file size.

The world that The Soldier was going to be deployed to protect was one of hundreds if not thousands like it. A small yellow gem of a world with over ninety percent of the available aland devoted to growing a singular crop that fed the loyal and true citizens of the Imperium. It was this soldier’s first deployment, and excitement thrummed just below the surface of his skin as he walked over to where his mother was busily working.

His mother with her honey-blond hair and clever ice-blue eyes was carefully working at her desk a dataslate in one hand, a stylus in the other as she swiftly worked. She looked up and smiled warmly as her son walked over to her. She set down the dataslate and hugged him tightly, murmuring “Good morning, my wonderful son. How goes your training?”

“It goes very well! Mother, I have good news to share with you!” The eager, blue-clad young man explained, happily hugging his mother back as he beamed with joy. 

“What news do you bring to me my son?” His mother asked, reaching up and ruffling his dark, curly hair with one hand, still hugging her precious son. 

“Like my older siblings before me, I am benign deployed to fight foul xenos! I am being sent to fight Orkz who threaten one of the worlds that grow crops, mother.” The soldier explained, still beaming up at his mother “I will be the one to kill the most of the vicious brutes of my entire battalion! I will decapitate the Ork Warboss and rip his tusks from his mouth. I will carve them into combs for your hair, mother. As a trophy!”

A soft sigh left the Mother as she hugged her over-eager son, pressing her forehead to his, before looking into his dark eyes, hoping that her words reached his heart and resonated within his mind “I don’t need an ork-tooth comb my son. As with your older siblings, all I want is for you to serve our great Imperium with honor and grace. Fight and win the battles set before you, but do not seek glory for it’s own sake. Rushing to grab glory with your own hands will only get you killed first, my son.”

“That won’t happen, mother~ I am too strong and too swift for the Orkz to be able to kill me.” The young soldier protested, shaking his head a little “My armor is too sturdy for their shoddy and broken weapons to damage.” His armor was indeed well-polished. Shining a brilliant blue and bright gold. 

“Orkz are -” The soldier’s mother tried to warn him, but the young man stepped out of her embrace as his vox began to buzz loudly.

“That’s The Captain, mother! I have been taught how to fight Orkz and other filthy xenos. I will come home victorious and with a chest full of accolades before you can start to miss me!” The young Soldier boasted as he ran out of his mother’s office, ready to take on any threats, big or small. “I must answer the call to war! Goodbye for now, mother!” 

~

Years of training and months of waiting and sparring had led to this moment for the young Soldier as he stared over the incoming horde of Orkz. They were a disorganized tidal wave of hooting and hollering green, and he double checked his bolter before he started to level his weapon at them, taking in a breath and letting it out as he prepared to fire.

“Hold your fire.” The Captain ordered. “I need you four to help complete the evacuation of the civilians from this world.” He pointed to the young soldier and three of his fellow warriors. 

“But… But sir, the Orkz are almost upon us! Shouldn’t we start to fire?” The young soldier asked, a confused expression appearing on his face.

“Are you questioning my orders, soldier?” The captain asked, his words underlined by the roar of artillery fire as they steadily flung shell after shell at the oncoming Orkish horde. “They are too far for you to hit reliably. Get going, soldier!”

The young soldier grumbled to himself as he dutifully got up and followed his squadmates over to the landing pads where several other groups of soldiers were -

She put down the dataslate, unable to force herself to continue to read the fable. She could guess as to where the story was heading, and the likely ways in which it would end. It was not worth the space it would occupy in her brain to continue to read through it. She hid her face in her hands and let out a low scream, trying not to alert the guards outside her office as to her distress.

There was a brief knock on the door before one of her brasher Captains barreled into the room, sword in hand as he did a visual sweep of the room. He didn't see any threats, so he removed his helmet and approached her, a look of mild concern on his face "I heard your yell, Mother. Is something bothering you?"

Roberta couldn't help but smile a little at his concern. Cato was rough around the edges and brash, but his boldness meant that he was the least anxious of her officer-sons to interact with her directly. "I was reading through the collection of legends that have sprung up about me, in my absence."

"Ah." Cato rumbled, briefly glancing at the dataslate on her desk, before looking back up at her "You are widely revered and held in great awe, as are all of the Holy Primarchs."

"Mm, but who we truly are has been lost to time. If Sanguinius found out how the masses - and perhaps his own sons believe him to be now..." Roberta sighed. The majority of the Imperium had come to believe that Sanguinius was a tragic, gentle-spoken martyr, whose death at the hands of the Vile Arch-Traitor was the final proof of the utter depravity that Horus had sank to. They seem to have forgotten, or been made to forget, from whom the Black Rage that afflicted most if not all sons of Sanguinius stemmed from. “His reaction would have been… Spectacular.” Throne on Terra, she missed her siblings. 

Cato nodded, looking uncertain. “Is there anything you wish of me, mother?”

A small smile appeared on her face “Only your company, if your duties permit it. I am… Finding it difficult to adjust to this new time I have woken up in. Please tell me of the battles you’ve participated in.”

Cato’s eyes lit up as he begun to talk about his past exploits, gesturing occasionally for emphasis.

[reasoningdaily]

Donald Trump’s notorious inability to acknowledge a mistake – even when everyone else can clearly see how wrong he is – will now probably cost him a big bundle of money in yet another court case.

It should cost him support from Black and Latino voters, too.

You may recall the names Antron Brown (formerly known as Antron McCray), Kevin Richardson, Yusef Salaam, Raymond Santana and Korey Wise by the undeserved moniker slapped on the Black and Latino teenagers 35 years ago ‒ "The Central Park Five." They now prefer to be known as the "Exonerated Five" since their convictions for a pair of attacks and a rape in 1989 were vacated in 2002.

They sued Trump in federal court in Philadelphia on Monday for defamation after he falsely claimed during a debate with Vice President Kamala Harris last month that they pleaded guilty after being charged and had killed someone. They pleaded not guilty and nobody died in the attacks that sparked the controversy.

New York acknowledged the travesty in the treatment of the five, who were ages 14-16 when they were arrested, by paying them $41 million to settle a lawsuit in 2014. In a statement, then-Mayor Bill de Blasio said: "The City had a moral obligation to right this injustice."

Trump could never muster the kind of character it takes to meet any notion of moral obligation. It is now and always has been far outside the range of his ego-driven, narcissistic personality.

Donald Trump can't stop accusing the Central Park Five of a crime

Trump, who used the 1989 Central Park attacks to draw attention to himself, ran full-page ads in New York newspapers in the weeks after with the banner headline, "BRING BACK THE DEATH PENALTY." Trump has a long history, laid out in the complaint filed Monday, of continuing to accuse the five men of criminal behavior even after they were exonerated.

Harris made that point during the Sept. 10 debate hosted by ABC News during a segment on "race and politics." her opponent, of course, turned defensive and then said a bunch of things that were not true.

"They admitted ‒ they said, they pled guilty. And I said, well, if they pled guilty they badly hurt a person, killed a person ultimately," Trump lied from the debate stage.

The complaint filed against him Monday notes that Trump has attacked a documentary about how the men were exonerated, which means he had the facts at his disposal and could have told the truth.

Opinion:In an unpredictable election, one thing is certain – Trump will lie about it

But this would require Trump to acknowledge he was wrong. He lacks the character for that.

Shanin Specter, a lawyer for the five men, said they didn't bother to give Trump a chance to apologize for what he said in the debate or issue a retraction because they knew, given his history since their exoneration, that "there was no chance of that happening."

"He has been single-minded about this for the last 35 years," Specter told me. "And he has not let the facts get in the way of his narrative."

Trump challenged to respond to lawsuit by lawyer who filed it

Trump's reelection campaign was oh so eager to prove the attorney's point, responding to the complaint by dismissing it as "just another frivolous, Election Interference lawsuit, filed by desperate left-wing activists" while trying to connect it to Harris and her campaign.

Specter told me the complaint, written in a way that avoids any extraneous political language, was about seeking "redress in the courts."

"It would have been nice if Mr. Trump would have had his lawyer respond to it to say whether it was true or false," Specter said.

Opinion:Michigan and Wisconsin are key for Harris. GOP groups want to help her win them.

Trump does have plenty of lawyers and he keeps them very busy.

Some of them lost the May 2023 civil case where Trump was held liable for sexually assaulting the writer E. Jean Carroll, who was awarded $5 million by a New York jury. Trump's lawyers also lost the follow-up defamation case Carroll filed against Trump, who was hit in January with an additional $83 million judgment.

So Trump, whom a jury found had sexually assaulted Carroll, has spent years falsely accusing the Exonerated Five of sexual assault and other violence. He is exactly the kind of person he claims to despise.

Will Trump ever be held accountable for this?

Two things can be true at the same time. This lawsuit can be unrelated to the election. But it can have consequences as Trump attempts to expand his support among Black and Latino voters.

Trump's appeal to hate in his 1989 newspaper ads always had the stench of racism, an undercurrent in his bid for attention just below the surface. His public pronouncements were bait for racists, the beginnings of his base.

Maybe the time has finally come for him to be held accountable for that, after 67 million debate viewers saw Trump repeat his lies about the Exonerated Five.

"It's devastating for them," Specter said. "They have to clear their name all over again. Now it's been defamed to 67 million people. And it just never stops."

Salaam, now 50, is a New York City Council member. He came to Philadelphia for last month's debate and tried to speak with Trump afterward in the "spin room," asking whether he would "apologize to the Exonerated Five."

"Ah, you're on my side then," Trump responded, in what feels like the one millionth moment of proof that his mind has turned to mush. He then waved and wandered away as Salaam repeated his request for an apology.

I hope we get the whole Trump show here ‒ a trial with an elderly defendant unable to remain awake until a jury holds him responsible in the only way that gets his attention: by squeezing him for cash. Trump won't be able to wander away from that.

[theoryofweirdness]

What if Deku Link was in Super Smash Bros.?

My Gravity Falls Smash movesets seem to have done reasonably well, so I thought I'd also post the other ideas I've had.

We all know that the Legend of Zelda series is in desperate need of more representation in Smash; even though there's six characters, three of them are just minor variations on the basic Link moveset and Ganondorf's moveset is famously still mostly the same as it was in Melee, that is to say, a copy of Captain Falcon and therefore not remotely representative of anything he does in any of his canon appearances. While there are plenty of fan projects focused around correcting that travesty (Project M comes to mind), there's still plenty more potential for Smash characters within Nintendo's third-biggest franchise.

Initially, I had conceived of the three main non-Hylian races in The Legend of Zelda (Gorons, Zoras, and Deku) as a single fighter that would transform between the three forms like Pokémon Trainer does, in an homage to the transformation mechanic from Majora's Mask (which should have 100% been the basis of Young Link's appearance in Ultimate; he'd look way cooler with the Gilded or Razor Sword and Mirror Shield than the Kokiri Sword and Deku Shield, and Fierce Deity as his Final Smash instead of the Triforce, since Young Link is literally the only version of the character who's never had it).

But I digress. After some work on that initial design, I realized that it would be much more fun to make each race a fully independent character, with moves and features pulled from across the whole Zelda series.

General Overview

The basis of this moveset is Deku Link from Majora's Mask, which serves as the character's default model. Though Deku Link is not a typical-looking Deku Scrub, he's the only one we ever see fight. Deku Scrub is the lightest and fastest of the three Zelda races, but doesn’t deal very much damage. Many of Deku Scrub's moves are similar to Lucas and Villager, though that’s just a coincidence. I only noticed those similarities after the fact. You’ll need to be quick and agile with this character, as they're very light and will be easily launched. Deku Scrub also has good ranged attacks that work very well for slowing enemies down and landing smash attacks or starting combos. As always, I haven't yet ironed out all the details, so any suggestions are welcome!

Size (Height/Weight stated as approximate comparison to existing fighters)  Height: Small, similar size to Villager or Isabel. Weight: Featherweight. Since Deku Link is light enough to (briefly) walk on water, it’d be one of the lightest fighters in Smash. Likely comparable to Kirby.

Special Moves

[B] Neutral Special - Magic Bubble: [MA] Hold [B] to power up a bubble projectile. Smaller bubbles just pop and deal small flinching damage, but the fully charged bubble will also paralyze other fighters (like Z-suit Samus’s stunner). Enemies with higher damage will be paralyzed longer.  Damage (min): 3% Damage (max): 5%

[B + </>] Side Special - Deku Nut: [PH] Spits a Deku Nut forward. It acts just like the item (bursts on contact with fighters/ground/items/etc., stuns grounded fighters, damages and launches airborne fighters), but with a lot less damage. Has an 8-second cooldown until you can use it again. You can use this Special Move while flying with Deku Scrub’s U-Special by pressing [A], in which case it will fall straight down. Damage (to airborne): 11.5% Cooldown: 8 seconds 

[^ + B] Up Special - Deku Flower Flight: [EA] Use two Deku flowers to fly through the air with a lot of control. If started on the ground, you’ll burrow into a Deku Flower first, then burst out when [B] is released. Bursting out can deal damage and launch enemies until you reach the peak of the jump, though it’s strongest at the base. The flight part of the move is much the same as Villager or Isabel’s balloon flight. Your flowers can be hit; lose one and you can’t gain height, lose both and you’ll go into freefall. Damage (max, flower burst): 23%

[v + B] Down Special - Magic Beans: A 3-step move, like Villager’s Garden.  1: Plant a magic bean (trips enemies)

2: Water it from a bottle (pushes enemies)

3: The bean sprouts into a leafy platform item. It will rise into the air when a fighter stands on it. You can use this to move upward, or throw enemies onto it to mess them up and possibly KO off the top of the stage. Also, Deku Scrub and Villager can water each others’ sprouts!

Ground Moves

[A] Jab: [PH] 2 quick punches. Very short ranged, but good for jab-locking.  Damage (per hit):

[>>, A] Dash Attack: [PH] A multi-hitting hat spin, much like Megaman’s Dash Attack. Damage (per hit): 1%

Smash Attacks

[A + <</>>] Side Smash: [PH] A powerful swing with a Deku Stick that can reflect projectiles. Has a strong launching sweet spot at the tip. Nearly identical to Lucas’s S-Smash. Damage (max, sweetspot): 

[^^ + A] Up Smash: [WI] A bubble blast overhead. Charging increases the size of the blast. It isn’t particularly powerful, but has very little end lag and charges quicker than most Smash attacks. Damage (max): 

[vv + B] Down Smash: [PH] Smash a Deku Nut on the ground. Low damage, but can stun ground-borne enemies. Similar to Villager’s D-smash. Damage (max): 

Tilts

[<A>] Side Tilt: [PH] A shorter hat spin than the Dash Attack that moves forward and hits once on both sides. Damage:

[^A] Up Tilt: [PH] Spin a Deku stick overhead, just like Villager’s U-tilt, though this one only hits once, but launches farther. Damage: 3%

[vA] Down Tilt: [PH] Spin the wood shell that Deku Scrub is hiding in once. Hits enemies up in front of you, so it’s good for combos. Also hits in the back, but it’s stronger in front. Damage (front): 4.5% Damage (back): a

Air Attacks

[Jump, A] N-Air: [PH] Midair spin. Can be a good combo starter. Damage: 

[Jump, > + A] F-Air: [PH] Spit a Deku seed forward with good range. Very similar to Villager’s F-air. Damage: 3%

[Jump, ^ + A] U-Air: [PH] Headbutt. Quick, decent damage, good for juggling. Damage: 

[Jump, < + A] B-Air: [PH] Spit a Deku seed backward with good range (same as F-air).  Damage: 3%

[Jump, v + A] D-Air: [PH] A spinning drill kick that multihits and spikes enemies downward on the final hit, similar to Kirby’s D-air. Damage (per hit): 1%

Grabs and Throws

[Grab] Grab: Traps the enemy inside a large bubble (based on the manga, where Link traps Tatl in a bubble shortly after being transformed into a Deku Scrub).

[Grab, A] Pummel: Bounce on top of the bubble.

[Grab, >] F-Throw: [PH] Use a Deku stick as a bat to hit the bubble forward. It pops after a short distance, but until then it can hit other fighters. Damage (to grabbed):  Damage (hit by bubble):

[Grab, ^] U-Throw: [PH] Go underneath the bubble and spit it upward, where it pops overhead. Can damage other fighters when the bubble pops. Damage (to grabbed): Damage (to others when popped): 

[Grab, <] B-Throw: [PH] Use a hat spin to hit the bubble backward. It can hit other fighters and pops after a short distance. Damage (to grabbed): Damage (to others):

[Grab, v] D-Throw: [PH] Jump hard on top of the bubble and pop it, landing on top of the enemy. The pop can hit other fighters. Damage (to grabbed): Damage (to others):

Movement (Speed and jump height stated as approximate comparison to existing fighters.)

[</>] Walking: Due to its short legs, Deku Scrub is a slow walker, probably not the slowest in the game, but definitely not fast either.

[<</>>] Dash: Fortunately, running is much faster, since Deku Link appears to run very fast (though looks like he’s going to fall over). Like Luigi, Deku Scrub will slide when changing directions or stopping while running.

[Jump] Jumps: 2, with the second one being considerably higher, but not a “flying” jump like Mewtwo or Yoshi.

[v] Crouch: hide under a wooden shell (Deku Link's shield from Majora’s Mask)

[Shield + v/^] Spot dodge: Basic background dodge.

[Shield + >] F-roll: Roll forward (looks like head is rolling).

[Shield + <] B-roll: Basic backward roll

[Jump, Shield + Air dodge: Basic air dodge.

Miscellaneous

Up Taunt: Plays the in-game note sequence of the Sonata of Awakening (the Deku Scrubs’ key song) on the Deku Pipes.

Down Taunt: Spins around, staying in place.

Side Taunt: Hold up a Deku flower like an umbrella (inspired by the Deku Butler).

Idle Animation: Looks around, sneezes.

Stage entry: Pop out of a yellow Deku Flower.

Origin Symbol: Triforce (same as the other Zelda fighters)

Kirby Hat: Wears the Deku Mask from Majora’s Mask (Magic Bubble).

Victory 1: Same as U-taunt, but plays the entire song, not just the in-game input segment.

Victory 2: Fly in on Deku flower copters, then dive into a large Deku Flower on the ground and pop back out facing the camera.

Victory 3: (description)

FINAL SMASH: Lost Woods 

Deku Scrub plays Saria’s Song on the Deku Pipes and the stage is transported into the Lost Woods. Enemies are randomly teleported around (though not over pits) while Deku Babas and Mad Scrubs appear to attack them. Lasts 15 seconds. All other stage effects are disabled or halted during this Final Smash.  Mad Scrubs will pop out of the ground to fire barrages of nuts, and with so many of them, enemies will be hard-pressed to avoid taking heavy damage. Deku Babas will lunge at nearby enemies with surprising reach, delivering strong launching bites. Damage (Deku Baba bite) [PH]: 12% Damage (Mad Scrub shot) [PH]: 8%

Alternate Colors 1) Default Deku Link colors (brown wood, green hat and tunic)

2) Blue Deku Link (tunic & hat)

3) Orange Deku Link with green leaves/hair

4) Dark Link inspired (black tunic and hat, red eyes, dark gray wood)

5) Alternate costume: Deku Princess (red and white dress, leafy green ponytail with a pink flower at the tip)

6) Purple Deku Princess (purple dress, yellow flower)

7) White Deku Princess (white dress and ponytail, yellow flower)

8) Yellow Deku Princess (yellow dress, blue flower)

[alethiaii]

Having watched season 3 of Witcher (can't criticize something I haven't seen) and now I can fully say they fucked Henry Cavill over completely, his character being reduced to side character when he's in fact supposed to be the main one.

There is not a single character that hasn't been fucked up by the atrocious writing which I can just smell was influenced by those ridiculous showrunners who called Henry over-enthusiastic (lord forbid he wanted to be able to have more than three sentences at a time that did not include 'hmmm' and 'fuck') and openly stated that they had to 'dumb down' the story for the audience now that the season is out and backlash is amazing; and for once aimed at the right people.

Also, hill I will die on, since they decided to give Geralt romance (which is fine, there's options for that in the games and they're enjoyable) by everything presented it should have been either Jaskier (cowards) or Triss Merigold (cowards). Not gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss Yennefer (I'm so sorry they wrote you that way sweetie).

They really did kill a complete, very popular IP just like that huh? Also...who actually at Netflix HQ in charge of the Witcher thinks anyone is gonna watch the travesty of season 4 (if it ever gets made) with Liam Hemsworth of all people playing Geralt instead of Henry?

[cherubchoirs]

Hello!

Enoch asker again!

With Enoch haveing brought the council the idea of tearing the light out of angels, could you imagine what it would be like for him to see Michaels failed fall?

I feel he'd be incredibly disappointed, not in the fact Micheal even did it but in the fact Micheal screwed it up so badly.

Enoch considering it a "Mockery of my art form"

How would Micheal react to meeting Enoch and Enoch's disappointment of Michaels failed fall?

ooouughhhhh this really gets me thinking about another dimension michael has with his current state, because i think you're right in how enoch would view his failure and, by extension, all the other angels imbued with this power. while the archangels enjoy high status and a specialized role in the choirs, there is still a hierarchy to be observed, and i find it likely that, in this case, michael would be seen just as a cherub who stepped far out of line. while michael attempts to insist this is god's gift to him, to survive his would-be fall, these other angels would believe the opposite - what he is now is just punishment for disrespecting this ritual and going above his station. he was arrogant enough to think he could complete such a delicate process on his own, an angel that does how have the finesse or the education to do so, and now he bears his shame for it. most of heaven, of course, doesn't know about michael's illness let alone how it came to be, but it would make sense any angels left in heaven that can excise the divine light do because...who else can the archangels approach for help? it's likely raphael's idea, when he admits he doesn't understand michael's condition, but convincing him to go takes a considerable amount of time. no, it's unlikely michael would be fully condemned as gabriel was - the council's slaughter is still weighing on everyone's mind and michael is privileged as the prince of heaven - but he knows, with a deep ache in his chest, that he will face angels with no pity for what he's done to himself.

michael would eventually relent, however, knowing that he must seek answers however he can to have any hope of saving his body and also knowing that what enoch would say, however harsh to him, may be what he needs to hear. because michael knows he's done wrong, he knows he foolishly played with fire and has suffered for it, and he deserves more than the guaranteed sympathy of his brothers (in michael's mind, punishment is never enough if it's not accompanied by admonishment). so he would go, making his case to explain why he did something so desperate and so out of character (he's always been a strict adherent of their hierarchy and enforced it down to its letter) - he left them to find god and only did this after all his other avenues had been exhausted. this was the last thing he could do. it's an emotional appeal, but i doubt it matters, as enoch would argue it clearly wasn't the last thing he could do...as he couldn't do it. if michael failed in finding god, the correct course of action would be to return to his post in heaven and carry out his responsibilities as the rest of them have. instead, he cleaved to his role as the hero and committed terrible blasphemy in the process.

it's a charge michael can't abide as god's most loyal servant, and i think he would become immediately volatile, reactive, indignant. he was the only one that went in search of god, he was the only one willing to sacrifice everything to bring him back, yet enoch will not give way to michael's notions of loyalty and nobility. this was a travesty, it shows all over his decaying body. he has made himself a zombie, and he is to blame for it entirely. god did not save him, he has simply condemned himself to life in death because of how he tore apart his own light, leaving it to limp on without the capacity to sustain his physical form. how base, how bizarre, for an angel to have real physicality, the body left behind when michael ripped up the very fire it was once made of. he did not handle god's work with care, he brutalized the primal source given to him, the one he shared with his brothers, and left behind a rapidly rotting body that never should have been. how is that not blasphemy? and michael has no answer, frozen for the first time in the unrelenting reality that he has sinned. of course, he knew he did....that was always the point, to sin....but he had cloaked himself so much in his own narrative of salvation of his body he is unprepared to view it for what it truly is. unprepared too, to have it seen so plainly by someone else. in this, i think he would retreat into repentance. he would ask what he can do, how can he make up for what he's done? he swears to take to his work, to devote his time in heaven to prayer, to penance, to understanding his offense. he would leave with a heavy sense of shame, and silently slips into several days of seclusion for introspection, the contemplation of his body and the sin it now bears. he would likely come out much worse for it

[thefamilyeldritchabomination]

Chapter Twenty One: Quidam Pt. 1

Pain, pure and simple pain course through Envy’s body as they relived the very moment of being reborn as a homunculus that fateful night. The screaming, yelling, THAT KICK from Mother Dearest, and the fast approaching paternal abandonment playing back from the start of their hatred. Envy had forgotten just how painful everything was for them when they first came back from the dead through unethical means thanks to Mother’s mercury poisoning and Father’s stupidly using alchemy as a bandage for unintentional homicide. This is exactly why Envy had wished to kill and torment Hohenheim so badly and wanting to carry over to their mother next once everything was over with. However, nothing much could’ve been done thanks to Envy’s current state of being a pain filled misery meatball on the library floor when the knock could be heard by the main door. Ah, yes, that simply has to be the root of this miserable scenario, that old man named Humphrey had come to make amends. Instead of the door being closed, there was an argument and someone barged into the mansion after calling bullshit correctly dripping from Hohenheim’s mouth.

 “I said get back here at once! You weren’t invited into my household, my SON HAS DIED!” Hohenheim bellowed as he stormed after the intruders making their very correct way to the library.

“Yeah no, I smelled William in here and he smells very much alive to me right now.” A voice clearly belonging to Dolly answered as she beelined for the library door to fetch Envy from that hellish household.

“Dolly, please don’t make a scene, remember what happened last time you were out in public?” Humphrey begged as Dolly continued on track towards the very much a meatball Envy in the library.

“Unfortunately Humphrey, we don’t have the spontaneous act of cannibalism happening right now.” Dolly responded, clearly she was very rightfully upset after Humphrey confessed earlier to driving William out in the first place.

“What the hell does any of this mean or even do with the damn fact you’re breaking into my own house!?” Hohenheim howled in anger as Dolly reached the doorway to the library.

 “I told you before sir, we came to bring William back to our place and Humphrey owes him an apology.” Dolly said in a sharp tone as she went to open the library door.

 “Don’t open that!” Hohenheim yelled as Dolly swung open the door to an absolutely gruesome as can be sight splattered upon the floor.

 There was a gasp from Dolly as she ran over to the sapient meatball on the floor, checking the poor wretch over to see what she could do to help. Humphrey froze up upon getting a good look at the horrorshow that Envy had become on the floor thanks to their parents. Hohenheim could only stand in place as the harsh and rightfully earned judgemental glares came directed at him upon seeing the state Envy was in. It took a moment or two before Humphrey started making his way towards Dolly. It was clear to the old man, Dolly was most certainly going to bring the meatball back home with them and nothing would convince her otherwise. The fates had their funny way of letting things come full circle when the screeching nightmare that was the rapidly fast approaching soon to be Exwife, Dante, came charging into the library. The creepy youth seeking abomination had heard the commotion and finally came to see what trainwreck came into HER mansion. Dante’s eyes narrowed at Dolly, evidently that was the girl her son was about to leave them for before her son’s unfortunate run in with mercury enriched fish. Dolly, on the otherhand, couldn’t give a flying fuck who this creepy and possibly underaged girl was before her as she comforted Envy and got them ready for the teleporting.

 “Who the hell are you!? What are you doing with that travesty that was formerly our son!?” Dante screeched as she stomped her way over.

 “Seriously? You married that? Aren’t you grossed out by marrying someone that young?” Humphrey looked at Hohenheim with full disgust over his choice of wife and the monstrous age gap before him.

 “Trust me, I feel disgusted too…my wife likes to keep getting younger bodies to switch into…” Hohenheim admitted, even he was really grossed out by Dante’s youth obsession.

 “Shut up! I’m going to stay young and beautiful forever! The younger the longer that beauty lasts!” Dante’s inability to understand just how grotesque that mentality and obsession was truly a horrifying display to behold.

 “...Okay yeah so you’re basically a hermit crab that shouldn’t be allowed alone with young kids, fuck off with that bullcrap. I’m taking William out of this environment and away from your screeching madness.” Dolly slowly got up from the ground, she truly was done with this couple of grotesque portions as Dante snapped.

 “You have the nerve to equate me, ME with some lowly hermit crab? You used hermit crab as a reference to me in my PRESENCES!” Dante screamed as she made a run at Dolly.

 Slowly, Dolly lifted her right arm, her back turned from the screeching madness known as Dante before casually taking a ‘gentle’ swing at Dante’s mid torso. The impact was something only few had seen on the battlefield from cannon fire as the mid section of Dante’s body vaporized into a fine red mist from the impact, body parts falling onto the floor as Dante’s eyes rolled back into her skull. From that moment onward, Envy learned, if Dolly was pissed off enough, she could easily obliterate Dante without any real efforts. Their worry about Dante being a threat to Dolly was all for nothing after basically witnessing Dante becoming a vaporized mist. Hohenheim froze in fear of just how quickly and brutally Dante was dispatched as Dolly glared the old alchemist down, daring him to do or say anything to her at that moment. Likewise, Humphrey was running his wrinkled old hands along the inside of his jacket, looking for something to whip out just because of this situation.

[courtneysmovieblog]

Ending 2023 with "The Color Purple"

No matter how bleak life seems, there's always hope for better times.

The new musical movie adaptation of The Color Purple reminds us of this, so maybe it's fitting that it was the movie that I wound up ending the year with.

Let's get this out of the way: it is NOT a remake. It's a movie adaptation out of the Broadway musical that was indeed made out of the movie, no different from Hairspray and the upcoming Mean Girls. Do not dismiss it as a cash grab when director Blitz Bazawule clearly puts his heart and soul into this film, and so did the cast.

Although in fairness, it is hard not to compare it to the original 1985 movie when it had such brilliant work from the likes of Whoopi Goldberg, Oprah, and Danny Glover. The fact that it lost out on the Oscars remains a travesty to this day that I neither forgive nor forget.

Yet this cast is just as spectacular. Fantasia Barrino's Celie more than lives up to Whoopi Goldberg's legacy while making the role her own. Her emotionally charged performance reminds us all why she won American Idol, and while she hasn't had the best of luck since then, I hope this film helps turn that luck around.

Taraji P Henson wows as Shug Avery, Celie's lover -- and yes, this version makes it crystal clear that they ARE lovers while the original movie just alluded it to it. I have to admit, part of me would have liked it if Jennifer Hudson reprised her Broadway role just so that we could have seen her and fellow American Idol alumni Barrino play a couple, but oh well. Danielle Brooks fearlessly takes on Sofia -- the role Oprah originated, and she couldn't have done a better job.

A special shout out goes to Halle Bailey, who plays Celie's sister Nettie (the teenage version, anyway) and proves that her Little Mermaid was no fluke. I can't wait for more from her.

Despite the horrific and heartbreaking events Celie and other characters goes through, the movie manages to be a pretty uplifting musical, with vibrant visuals and songs. It pulls this off in a way that feels genuine without being corny.

My only problem with the movie concerns the resolution between Celie and her abusive husband Albert (Coleman Domingo). For those that never read the novel or saw the Broadway musical, Celie winds up becoming friends with her abusive ex-husband. With all due respect to Alice Walker, I just can't get behind that. Not after everything he did to her. I preferred how the 1985 version ended it: with Danny Glover's Albert discretely doing right by Celie and nobody except Shug knowing. That, I felt, was believable: it didn't make up for everything he did to her, and he didn't expect it to. True redemption is doing the right thing without getting anything out of it.

But that's my opinion.

All that aside, The Color Purple deserves all the awards and acclaim that original deserved and never got. Your move, Oscars.

9 out of 10

[spinningbuster98]

Mega Man X7 Ending

Ladies and gentlemen: it’s July 17th.

Today officially marks Mega Man X7′s 20th anniversary, as the game originally came out in Japan exactly 20 years ago today!

And what better way to celebrate than to finally put an end to this trainwreck of a game!

The first of the final stages, Palace Road, is one of the slowest, most awkward autoscrollers you’ll ever play!

Not only is it slow due to X7′s natural sluggishness, but the camera also does a miserable job at showing you incoming obstacles, enemies and bottomless pits, meaning that you pretty much have to avoid dashing otherwise you  ight just find yourself falling off a cliff and even then you will ram into enemies coming from offscreen more times than you can count. So we’re off to a great start already!

And then we have the final stage: The Crimson Palace

I dunno if you have noticed but this video is almost an hour long

About 90% of that time is spent in the Crimson Palace

It’s not that the level design is particularily awful, Sure it’s bad but nothing too out of the ordinary for this game

It’s just that it keeps going on

And on

And on

And OOOOOOOOOON

This level has the same issue as Gate’s second stage in X6 in that it keeps going even after the first boss battle

The fight against Red is one of the worst, if not THE worst boss fight in Mega Man history

You have to keep track of him as he teleports around this arena made up of platforms over a bottomless pit, as the camera makes no attempt at focusing on him, while you have to deal with X7′s controls and hit detection/boxes, making jumping precisely on those platforms a goddamn chore AND you also have to avoid his fake clones.

This fight is absolutely shit (and it’s shit that drags too, he’s got a lot of health) because you’re not actually fighting Red, you’re effectively fighting the camera and the controls.

The only boss fights that come close are those from Legends 1, and even then I’m generally more forgiving to those because

1) It’s an early PS1 game and issues with the camera and controls in 3D games were standard back then

2) Mega Man Juno may be a piece of shit but he’s not a piece of shit that you have to fight over a fucking bottomless pit!

And then the level keeps going through another series of boring and awkward platforming sections

Then we reach the boss rush

Credit where it’s due: the room is very creepy and atmospheric and the fact that the teleporters look like graves is really apt for this context

But fucking hell man!

I spent 20 minutes on this boss rush alone!

20 MINUTES!

All because X7′s bosses are just so fucking tanky and their weaknesses are mostly worthless against them!

This is the absolute worst boss rush I have ever seen

20 minutes!

I could probably beat Eggmanland in less time! And that’s a whole stinking level!!!

And then we get to Sigma and every time he says “That’s right, folks!” and “Fellas” I’m expecting the Loony Toones logo to pop up around him

His first phase is nothing fancy

His second phase is another travesty due to, again, forcing you to platform in 3D over a bottomless pit with these controls

Luckily even if you get a game over here you just restart the second phase

I used to rage hard here but then I discovered on the Internet that he’s really weak to the charged version of Splash Warfly’s weapon. Whatever, so long as it gets the job done

The final cutscene changes depending on the character that dealt the final blow to Sigma

In X’s ending we can see that he hasn’t learned a goddamn thing and he’s still bitching about Axl using violence to deal with Mavericks, he even sounds arrogant when he says that “You can’t train someone to become a hunter like me”. Wonderful

Axl’s ending is a continuation of X’s in a way:

Zero’s ending on the other end is just a shallow tie-in with the Zero series (which was a thing by this point)

Was he just...napping while standing up...? Do robots need to sleep? I mean in X4′s intro he’s also sleeping and dreaming but he’s in a capsule so I assumed he was also charging up his batteries or maybe undergoing light maintenance or something. Then again in the Zero series we do see that Reploids have normal beds in their rooms so.... meh who gives a shit, certainly not the developers at this point

Happy Birthday Mega Man X7!!!

[ssaalexblake]

there isn’t a power in the world that’d get me to rewatch s3 of stp but i Swear I do in fact remember Jack being shoved in the brig bc he did a murder. Like, i mean, he was not convicted or anything but he was implicated and was going to be put on trial for this among other, smaller, crimes. I’m sure I didn’t make that up. He got out of the brig by trickery (though, he did do so to save the crew of the titan which is honourable, i’ll give him that). 

And while the show Has had more than one member of the cast commit murder, so that isn’t exactly a moral judgement against him narratively even if he did kill somebody, the show has Also generally made a vague effort to portray a justice system. Agnes was cleared of murder charges because of that mind meld, proving that Yes, some kind of justice system is in action here. 

Seven committed murder. Two, in fact. On screen. But the only person she told was Rios and he’s evidently not a snitch. Seven has not been put on trial because, frankly, she’s apparently just better at murder. 

Elnor also had that head lopping off thing going on. I doubt Starfleet has record of this considering where it happened. Also arguments of self-defence may apply. I don’t remember exactly though, I didn’t like that episode (the exposition eps in serials Usually suck and that did not break trend imo). 

So like... Did starfleet just decide to ignore that murder when all this chaos blew over? Was the murder a non issue? I mean it’s not like we can Add contextually to this him controlling crew members against their will to Knowingly cart his ass off to the borg queen which resulted in All That Death and Destruction and Trauma as well, which you’d think would result in Some consequences. Even if the consequences were a psych eval to determine his culpability. Even if they decided he was Not culpable, it would still have been a consequence of all this. 

What i’m saying basically is that it canonically took Agnes a year to get off a murder charge due to somebody messing with her brain in Significantly less complicated circumstances than Mr. Borg Jr who Also had a murder charge against him. 

Yet in a year He’s apparently been fast tracked through the academy that Should take years, only to be assigned to the flag ship, and be sat on a chair on the bridge as a Special Councillor. 

I’ve not been this mad at white man bullshit in scifi since that fuckawful ad astra film where the protag commits muder in space bc he’s such a sad sad man and poor Him and goes back home scott free and then Gets The Girl as a reward. 

I’m not even saying that Jack necessarily Would have been found culpable, it’s canon that people screwing with your brain Is a legal defence in this time bc we saw it with Agnes, and he quite obviously had weird things going on inside his head far out of his control making him act in ways he wouldn’t have done had it not happened, but it’s also canon that the system takes time in Far less complicated situations. 

It also adds insult to injury that even if all the above wasn’t an issue, what happened at the end would Still be a travesty of nepotism and white man self insert characters. But it makes it So So So much worse in context. 

[hashtag-anthems]

im intrigued by cars 2 as a comfort movie bc cars 2 is how i met my best friend

Okay so there’s a story actually.

I loved the first Cars movie. When I heard there was a sequel, I was ecstatic. My parents made plans with my mom’s best friend and her husband to take all of us kids to go see it. It was going to be me, and my mom’s friend’s two daughters and one son.

We meet at their house because my mom’s friend and her husband don’t drive, so we were gonna carpool to the theater. I should have guessed something was wrong when we only took the Trailblazer (seats 5) instead of two vehicles when there were 8 people total.

We get there, and my mom sends me inside to let them know we’re here, and I do so, and I am all ready to go see this movie. My mom’s friend, her husband, and their son go out to the car, which is now full. I realize the problem.

They had not counted on the girls (I wasn’t aware that nonbinary was a thing you could be at that age lol) wanting to see the movie and had only brought one car. I watched the car pull out of the driveway with tears in my eyes. I was inconsolable as they left me at my friends’ house and went to see the movie without me.

I inform my mother that this was unacceptable when she returns. She should have known that I wanted to see that movie. Aside from the fact that I had explicitly told her yes I want to see this movie, I watched Cars on DVD all the time. I watched NASCAR with my stepdad (I liked Kyle Busch bc he had all the Mars candy sponsorships, and I liked M&Ms and my stepdad HATED him so I doubled down and got posters and stuff for my bedroom walls). And it was a spy movie????? Of course I wanted to see it! Her response: “I thought you would rather hang out with the girls, and they didn’t want to go see it.”

I love them both and I do not blame them for this travesty at all but fuck my lifelong best friends! I wanted to see Cars 2!

Unfortunately, we had waited until it was almost out of theaters to see it when tickets were cheap, so there wasn’t time to take me to see it before it left theaters. This objectively mediocre sequel to a movie about sentient vehicles became my forbidden fruit. I had to see it. Unfortunately, I was *checks year this movie came out* 13 years old and did not have stable income or a way to transport myself to the theater before the movie left theaters.

Finally, the day comes that Cars 2 releases on-demand on our cable package. This was before the DVD release, but after it had left theaters. I approach my mother with this information, and she agrees to purchase it on-demand, once.

This is my chance. I may not have gotten to see it on the big screen, but we never bought movies on demand. We were lucky if we got to rent something from Redbox for a dollar on Saturday and then hurry to return it before church on Sunday so we wouldn’t get charged extra. This was big. My mom knew she had fucked up, and she was performing her acts of penance in a last ditch bid for my new-teenager mercy. The dynamic is changing, and this is her chance to get back on my good side.

I am glued to the screen the whole time. It was broad daylight and sometimes it was hard to make out the screen because the way our house was built the sun was facing the east so around 10 am every day you could not see the TV unless you closed the curtains and my family said no I couldn’t do that it was a beautiful day and I needed sunlight for my health.

When the movie ends and the credits roll, I get on the family computer (I will not own my own device capable of running iTunes until Christmas of that year) and purchase two songs from the soundtrack with my last $3 in iTunes gift cards. I am appeased.

That Christmas I got the DVD and now I make a habit of watching it every year on my birthday. I think it’s hilarious. I can recite it from memory. My friends are confused and bewildered. I will forever mourn not getting to see it in theaters. I think I legitimately feel worse about missing Cars 2 in theaters than I do about not getting to see Promare in theaters bc Promare is becoming a cult classic and will probably come back to theaters at some point but I know that no one in their right mind would ever put on another theatrical release of Cars 2.

In hindsight we should have figured out I was ADHD a lot sooner.