#the faceless men

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

ASOIAF entities as main pop girlies

The Night's Watch = Katy Perry

Once upon a time, pop's most influential hit maker suddenly decided to dye her hair blonde and get a pixie cut, got political, and publicly spoke to a therapist who told her to get her shit together. Thus began her never-ending flop era.

In an unrelated sequence of events, Aegon I Targaryen (a weird blonde man) invaded Westeros, created a central political unit, told the different kingdoms to get their shit together, and cut off the NW's weekly supply of men since there were no more pointless wars going around. Thus began their never-ending flop era.

BTW Jon Snow is the NW's 'Harleys in Hawaii'....their first and only hit in a really long time :(

The Kingsguard = Taylor Swift

Very famous, very rich, very influential, actually has a history of producing incredible material. But every now and then, you get a pop album that's just so..... bleh :/ And is Jaime Lannister the Westeros version of Taylor's Reputation era? Idk, you tell me....

Also, remember how TS had a feud with KP but got more famous and successful as Katy faded into irrelevance? Yeah, me too. In the same vein, the KG continues to maintain its high reputation while its counterpart (the NW) becomes even more irrelevant than it already was, if that's even possible.

The Golden Company = Gaga

Exclusively for the gays and no one else. There's really no doubt about it. But Gaga hurt the fanbase when she decided to pivot into acting, which is currently giving her more success than the music stuff. The GC has a great reputation but comes from a history of flop rebellions. So they've pivoted to a "Targaryen" pretender in hopes that they can win big this time around.

The Rainbowguard = Charli XCX

Huh?? Shouldn't the Rainbow Guard be Gaga??!

Please 🙄 don't be ridiculous. They do not have the material, and that's the T. But they're both for the gals and the gays. And in the same way that Charli had like two hits then faded into the shadows, the Rainbow Guard really can only claim Loras and Brienne. The rest are inconsequential.

The Brotherhood Without Banners = Dula Peep (aka Dua Lipa)

Who doesn't know THE Albanian pop princess Dula Peep?? She new, she's hot, and she's from out of town! She's got good music, but critics say that she's been recycling the same sound for a while now which is getting stale. The BWB has fallen into the hands of a foreign red god, and critics say that they can't produce a hit anymore since they kept recycling the same Beric. They did it six times, which got a little stale...

The Faceless Men = Grimes

Grimes makes really good music, I think? Also, remember when she dated a douchebag billionaire, got dumped, then staged a PR stunt reading the communist manifesto? Me neither. Anyway, the FM are known for being very good assassins who sell their services for the highest price possible. They were also founded by slaves, but that's probably unrelated.

Maesters of the Citadel = SZA

The talent is there, the influence is there, and the reputation is there. But you cannot trust them because they like to lie a lot...unprovoked.

[BONUS] Robb Stark's Vanguard = Bebe Rexha

Bebe is responsible for some of the greatest pop hits of the 21st century; she's even written one of the greatest K-pop songs of all time, that's a whole other region!! She's the very face of talent, but she's unfortunately a blink and you'll miss it type of gal. The average Joe would most likely struggle to name more than two songs from her. Robb's Vanguard also has the talent. They have the material. But sadly, 90% of us would struggle to identify anyone not named Dacey Mormont. I mean, did you even remember that this group existed?

[BONUS] Tywin Lannister = Nicki Minaj

A very talented but messy bitch who likes to play around with extremely problematic people...do I need to elaborate any further?

[tonyloom]

Arya stark in the house of black and white

This is inspired by @laurellerual post! I love these uniforms

[classicasongoficeandfire]

Jaqen by Holoi

[c-m-li]

It's insane how many people absolutely hated the Waif's guts and I completely blame the show runners.

And, yes, a part of it is bc she was mean to your fave Arya, but a huge part was bc the show runners have no respect for the deep lore of ASoIaF or magic at all. They didn't take the time necessary to explain properly what the House of Black and White was or the Faceless Men.

Arya wasn't in a training academy for assassins, that's not what the House of Black and White is.

The House of Black and White is a religious order and the Faceless Men are their priests.

The Waif was always beating Arya bc she knew that Arya wasn't taking it seriously. The Waif is basically a priest in a religious order and she has to watch Arya, who just viewed the entire thing like an opportunity to get new skills on how to kill her enemies.

[robynnnn311]

reading aryas chapters with the faceless men when she does her disguises

[nymerias-heart]

Arya x Aegon

One of my favourite parts of an Aerya au, which is set after Aryas faceless men training, is when her disguise starts to fall apart the longer she is with people she cares about and you can start to see her real face.

Aegon (clueless): wowww ur eyes sometimes look grey! maybe it’s the change in lighting!!

Arya (panicking): 🎵He KNOWS, he KNOWS and I know he KNOWS🎵.

[thebeesareback]

I've been listening to the (always excellent) @radiowesteros series on Arya Stark and something occurred to me. Before Arya, Gendry and Hot Pie were taken to Harrenhal, they spent some time living in the wilderness. While there, they met a clearly traumatised woman and a little girl. The woman died after a few days, and the little girl ran off and is never seen/heard from again. It seems like an odd detail to mention, aside from showing more of the small folks' suffering.

So i was wondering if the little girl is Jaquen Hagaar in disguise. He needs to keep tabs on Arya, possibly because she owes the many-face god a life debt, possibly because he's come to Westeros to recruit her. Obviously, he's able to disguise himself pretty efficiently! Most of this argument comes down to that joke about Batman: weird how you never see Bruce Wayne and Batman in the same room, or, weird how you never see Jaquen Hagaar and this little girl together. Also, there's the traumatised woman. She certainly could be in a state of shock because her home burned down, she witnessed mass execution or, GRRM's favourite, SA. However, it's also possible that she saw an adult man turn into a little girl and doesn't know how to process that. The woman does die pretty quickly, possibly because of a conveniently-located assassin?

[aeriondripflame]

nobody cares but me but just know that the seven are the many faced god. the seven, despite misconception, is one god with seven (many) faces. one of these gods is the stranger, the god of death. the seven abhors slavery. the seven is made up of the major aspects of humanity, of mortality, of life before death. the seven preaches sacrifice and abstinence which compares to the faceless men practice of equal costs and exchange for their assassinations. the acolytes of both religions dress similarly and have nearly identical ritual cleansing post death. in affc, the kindly man states “in westeros [he of many faces is] the stranger” and we know that the stranger and the rest of the seven are one god, the god of many faces.

[montyluvsjasper]

Casual reminder, Dany couldn't hire a faceless man with all the gold that used to be in Casterly Rock.

BECAUSE, Valyrians were still in fact evil blood supremacist dark wizards who did god only knows what to their conquered slaves outside of volcano mining.

They aren't going to help someone with three dragons conquer a chamber pot.

[archivistofnerddom]

Game of Thrones/Discworld crossover:

Some strange Unseen University magic goes awry. The Disc and the world of Game of Thrones somehow gets connected. News travels back and forth, including some rumors.

Someone (likely someone in Ankh-Morpork who is fed up that the Assassin’s Guild won’t take a contract out on Vimes) contacts the House of Black and White. They offer to pay double what the Guild asks for a high-level contract. The Faceless Men accept. Offering this name and this life to the God of Death is a just sacrifice.

It’s a pity they didn’t expect the pointy elbows and well-honed paranoia of an upjumped copper from Cockbill Street. How could they have known that the Guarding Dark trumps the Many-Faced God?

Vimes is just annoyed that dropping the Faceless Man back at the House of Black and White was so far out of his way. (The Assassin’s Guild wouldn’t take this particular assassin.) He almost missed his 6:00pm story time with Young Sam (and that’s just plain unacceptable). The fact that he had to do it more than once was an intolerable fact.

Suffice it to say, the Faceless Men quickly learn why you do not accept Sam Vimes’ name.

[westeroswisdom]

A summary of what the Faceless Men are all about.

The Faceless Men are a guild of assassins who serve both one and many gods at the same time through their contracted killings. They started as slaves in the city of Valyria long ago. As slaves, they worked in the mines of the Fourteen Fires, which was the name of the many connected volcanic mountains located in Valyria. While working in the mines, the many slaves often prayed to their native gods asking for death to end their suffering. An unidentified slave saw this and came to the realization that within all religions is some god who holds dominion over death. And although this god may have many names -- or faces -- it was the same god across all religions: the god of death (or as he became to be reffered to by the Faceless Men, the Many-Faced God). So, this unkown slave took it upon himself to grant the desperate wishes of his fellow slaves and give them the "gift" of death. In other words, he would kill them to end their suffering. Soon, the slave recruited others and so the Faceless Men were born. As time passed, they eventually left Valyria (following the Doom of Valyria which left the city in ruins) and primarily settled in the free city Braavos, a city in Essos founded by slaves whose aim was to create a place that welcomes anyone and everyone and has a freedom of religion. This is where they built the House of Black and White -- the temple in which they worship the Many-Faced God.

The article goes into some of the ways the series differs from the books regarding the Faceless Men. This bit about Valyria was particularly interesting.

Legend says that Valyria was destroyed in a firey catastrophe, destroying nearly all its architecture and any records of the Valyrian Freehold empire. However, in the books, many suspect the Faceless Men were responsible for the Doom when their assasination victims moved from slaves to their slave masters, most of which were mages in charge of keeping the many volcanoes under control from eratic eruption. Thus, the volcanoes erupted and crumbled the city to ashes.

[lupiiny]

“Speak the names, and a man will do the rest.”

[howgalling]

hi. my two moods for ultrakill.

[also-thatbasketcase]

Rhaegar <- -> Jaqen

Lyanna <- -> Arya

 h a r r e n h a l

[lazerpunk]

[lalalalalalalelalila]