#the episode was wild in its entirety

[asherlockstudy]

A moment for the ages x

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

*thinking about Battlestar Galactica against my will* So in the two part episode we’re watching right now there’s a theme running through of it that “no one is expendable”. It’s been said by Apollo a few times I think, Commander Adama implied it or outright said it, I can’t remember. But it was already a theme from the beginning of the episode.

See, Baltar, the human who’s leading the cylon chase to capture the Galactica, has nudged the Galactica into a trap between his cylon base star (with reinforcements on the way) and the original Ice Planet of Hoth (Battlestar came out two years before Empire Strikes Back) that has a giant gun of death on it capable of destroying the Galactica (a ship over 4,000 feet long, btw, this thing is MASSIVE) in a single blast. And they discovered this when one of their routine patrols lost three ships to this monster. And all three ships had cadets piloting them. Only one survived, and he was captured by the cylons, the rest were shot down.

And the leader of said patrol, was Starbuck. It was in no way his fault that they lost the cadets (they were VERY MUCH acting against orders) but he decided it was his personal responsibility to rescue the one who got captured. This man straight up hacked a supercomputer to get sent on a potential suicide mission on an icy Hell planet in the desperate hope that he could rescue this kid he felt responsible for. Like, yes I firmly believe that Apollo and Adama think that every life in their fleet is important but dang Starbuck’s over here taking it to another level. The rest of their team is on this planet to destroy this gun to stop it from blowing up the entire fleet and killing everyone. Starbuck is there to rescue this one guy specifically.

Idk where I was going with this I just really love all the “every life is important” stuff happening in these episodes, I wish I remembered what happened in part two.

[copperbadge]

I slept very poorly last night and thus had wild dreams but I only just remembered the wildest when I found a note I wrote after waking up from it. Reproduced here in its entirety:

I saw Chuck Tingle with his mask off and he doesn't want the world to know that he is secretly Trent Crimm.

Wild as a fanfic, wild as an episode of Ted Lasso, super wild as a conspiracy theory. Within me truly are legions.

[hellishfig]

just finished listening to episode 34 of worlds beyond number, "something to remember you by," which is the end of arc 3 of the wizard, the witch, and the wild one, and i feel sick from how incredible it was. the physical reactions my body made to some of the words and music in this podcast really took me by surprise. i'm still reeling.

some thoughts:

i'm so happy that suvi is questioning the citadel, her reaction to silver's letter was inspired, and i LOVED her interactions with the quartermaster. she's so clever and intimidating (holy shit that was HOT), but i'm worried about what's happening to silver. i have an inkling that the witches may have already started making moves alongside the man in black, and i wonder how that will affect suvi going forward. and going to try and save silver before returning their "precious cargo" to the citadel... i hope suvi can keep questioning, and that whatever she faces, she doesn't let the justification machine run its course any longer.

eursulon meeting up with tefmet was really cool. i enjoyed the return of the strongest man in silbury immensely. it was extremely funny. and then, when eursulon asked to help and succeeded on his persuasion checks, it was solemnly touching. i love eursulon's power being in steadfast support and protection, and how to him, it's not about opposing the citadel in its entirety, it's about saving spirits, great and small, from those who would use them. and that's something he can do while still protecting his true friends.

ame let the chaos OUT this episode, and it was delightful and nerve wracking and thrilling to listen to. she's very bossy and it's so funny to hear how immediately eursulon goes along with it, despite not knowing what "it" is. growing up watching grandma wren, she seems to have gained a natural authority that makes people who love her listen to her when she asks them to perform innocuous menial tasks. but that's also interesting, because her chaos is focused, if imprecise. she knows what she needs to do and will do it, damn the consequences. as long as she can get away, who cares what she leaves in her wake? that's a problem for future ame.

they stole some brass knockers and a lion! they kidnapped nif to save her from being killed by indri! tof burned bright to free a vrock! suvi heads to war, eursulon and ame TO TOMA! (i almost cried when eursulon said those words and the music swelled. what the fuck, lou. what the FUCK taylor and jared. i'm not okay!!!)

and then of course, brockvale. holly hill. the resting place of sir curran of the hawthorn, who unknowingly sent eursulon on a quest that would lead him to our story. the man in black, the pilgrim under stars, the king of knight, the stranger, holds sir curran's shield. he comes to make an offer. will this poor old guard bid a weary traveler to step over this threshold?

this is why worlds beyond number feels so different to me from other dnd shows and podcasts. these artists have come together with the shared goal of not just playing a fun game that they all enjoy, but with the express aim of crafting a brilliant story. i love a goofy campaign full of shenanigans as much as the next person, but i adore how every choice in this show is given weight and meaning. there are no decisions made for laughs. it doesn't feel like playing a game. it feels like living in the story.

and there are also moments like the ending of this episode. a snapshot of elsewhere in the world, something the players don't know, but the audience gets to. it fills out the edges of the story and provides a richer tapestry of lore and reasoning behind the machinations of those who oppose our heroes. it gives life to the tale.

my heart is beating so fast. this show is incredible. thank you, @worldsbeyondpod , for the world you're creating.

[helpimstuckposting]

TMAGP 30 Speculation

Now that it’s season finale time, I’ve got a LOT to say and a lot of ideas so I will ramble them here and either I’m horribly wrong or horribly right but unfortunately we have to wait to find that out

First, I can’t believe Alice had two mysterious talks with her friends saying they have something super important to say with a horrified quiver to their voices and she didn’t have time to listen to EITHER of them. Teddy and Colin are high high high on the list for ‘died off mic and we only find out next season’

Since Gwen was promoted (idiot) and Sam is… mmm… missing, it looks like the OIAR will need to fill at least one position, and I think it would be fun if Teddy came back to take his place as a main character. It’s possible that what he had to say was “This new job… it’s not exactly [working out]” and he was simply looking for a new one, and it’s no more ominous than that. If that’s the case, I can absolutely see him taking his position back next season. Colin’s probably dead, though, I’ll be shocked if he’s not tbh

Speaking of Colin, he called the system Freddy while talking to Alice. You know, the same guy that said “Don’t give it a personality. We shouldn’t even be calling it Freddy.” So the change up here is really blatant to me.

I’m still really attached to the idea that Jon and Martin (and Jonah’s) voices were stolen and they’re not actually trapped in the computers. However, I *do* think the voices are sentient, I just don’t think we’re right about who’s behind them. I think Freddy, the program itself, may be using the voices to push its own agenda and manipulate the decisions each OIAR employee is making. Alice gets a lot of JMJ errors, and is specifically the only person on staff who actively tunes the cases out and does not read into them.

OR, if it does turn out to be our guys, then I think it’s possible they’re working counter productively to Freddy, and the JMJ errors are a result of that — like they’re actively trying to work against Freddy. This could also be why Colin said he messed up, like maybe his attempts to deal with the JMJ errors made Freddy more powerful.

Either way, it seems the OIAR is in a huge bind going into season two. Colin probably did something buck wild and pissed the computer off, he’s probably dead, Sam is missing and they’ll need a new hire, Lena is gone (the only person who presumably knew anything that was going on) and Gwen just got promoted to boss despite having 1) absolutely no idea what’s going on with anything at all, 2) an inability to handle the externals and several panic attacks, and 3) no clue what Lena’s job even was, with no direction from the man who promoted her. It seems like even the PM has no real clue what the OIAR does, how it functions, or who it employs (“I’m sorry, do you hire a lot of murderers for contract and consultancy work?” - the answer is Yes, actually, several!)

Picturing the team next season as Alice, Teddy, Celia, and their boss Gwen is… a comedy of errors (or comedy of [ERROR]s? … Sorry) like that absolutely cannot go well. Although, we are pretty used to people being hired as a boss while they have no qualifications of the sort (also did not go well)

As for Sam, the Archivist, and Hilltop Road, I have a few questions about what could possibly happen. First, if the crack in reality was specifically calling for and tugging Celia toward it, we can probably assume that it’s the TMA universe on the other side, right? Which means Sam and the Archivist are now in our original beloved universe. I’m curious to see if Sam is just going to be MIA for the entirety of season two, or if we’ll get tape recordings of him at the same time as our TMagP friends, and we’ll have updates between both universes. I could see that being very interesting if some voice actors appear as two different people in the same episode (their TMA part, and their TMagP counterpart) but that would probably be really complicated to pull off in an audio format.

Also, we know the TMA fears cannot be separated, and that they’re possibly just one entity and have been one entity the whole time. That’s why they couldn’t start the apocalypse without all of them participating, and that’s why when Annabelle opened the crack in reality they all left the TMA universe. “Any attempt to separate the fears is doomed,” is what she said. She also said, “I would either travel with them, or I would die. I do not know which... Most would simply lose whatever power they have been gifted.”

So, if an archivist travels back through the crack in reality, what would happen to them? They’d be cut off from the entity that gave them power, right? So either the archivist will die, or maybe we’ll find out who Beth Eyre (the voice of [ERROR])’s character really is? Who they were before they became an archivist?

I don’t think they’d introduce [ERROR] and then just get rid of them without any resolution, which leads me to believe we will eventually find out what happened to Sam. I don’t think Sam’s just going to be dead or missing and never come back, I don’t see how there’d be any point to that. He is still the only person we know of who’s survived telling their whole statement, and even though he had a headache I feel like that must be significant. The janitor turned into a rock, I really don’t think a normal person would just walk away with a headache. Like, for all intents and purposes, Sam probably should have had his skin ripped off if we’re following the pattern of [ERROR] related deaths.

I hope next season focuses on Hilltop Road, because the lore in this episode was amazing. First of all, it was hard not to notice how each shop had a different danger. The custodian mentioned the drunk man walking into the newsagent and then he “ignored the smell of burnt hair and charred meat”. Then there was the shop that turned a woman into a mannequin, and Sam and Celia walked past the appliance shop where doors kept opening and closing, and the dentist that wanted peoples teeth. There was also the antique shop from episode 7 that almost buried the manager alive, plus the institute also used one of the units. I could be reading too much into it, but it feels like each fear from TMA has uhhhh… set up shop?

It’s also interesting to me that Annabelle said every owner on Hilltop Road in TMA was marked by the Spider, and died a grizzly death.

“So many schemers and spiders and full-throated monsters. Twisting manipulators and furtive liars. Each meeting a violent, grotesque end.” (TMA 196)

And the owner of Hilltop Center was no different.

“I found the owner dead in his office, with every blood vessel stripped from his body and strung around the room in a grim cat’s cradle.”

Not only did he die a violent and mysterious death, but his blood vessels were strung up ‘in a cats cradle’, which is pretty web-like if you ask me.

Anyway, I’m really really hoping to learn more about Hilltop Center next season, that’s the ONE thing I’m super latched on to post-finale

[lactoseintolerentswag]

Rise Characterizations Pt. 6!!!!!!

After the turtles and Splinter, here we have the girl Ever. She's pretty spunky, I had fun analyzing her for writing.

April O'Neil Character Notes

Language Habits:

Uses bae/aave, something she could have passed on down to Raph and Mikey as they also use bae/aave

Most notably uses "mm-kay" in place of "okay"

Uses a lot of filler language, interjections, or onomatopoeia. Think "mhm", "uh huh, uh huh!", "oh yeah!"

"Ah nuts" is her go-to disappointed phrase

Grits and or strains her teeth when she's frustrated

Uses her own name (the full "April O'Neil!!!!") as a battle cry, or brings her name as a motivator i.e. "the one and only April O'Neil will solve this case!"

The more worked up she the louder she tends to be, this extends to stronger emotions such as passion or panic

Over text uses emoticons

Refers to splinter as "splints"

Refers to the turtles as "the fam"

Refers to villains/antagonists through insults rather than their names

Personality:

Adrenaline junkie, as she's often the first to jump into a fight. She also laughs in the face of danger, and was seen maniacally laughing and smiling the entirety of the gumbus episode

Jack of all trades. April has a lot of skills she's picked up from various jobs or personal adventures she's seeked out (like canoeing through the sewers in a hazmat suit and earning a crane license)

Wild and blunt. April is Loud, and rarely ever afraid to share her opinion. This can either make people draw back from her bluntness or be drawn in by her excitableness

Self-conscious. Despite her strong sense of self-esteem, April is still often motivated to impress the popular kids at school or at least fit in. She doesn't want to be seen as the weird kid, or associated with the weird kids

Persistent. April is always quick on her feet to hit back whatever comes at her. She has a good set of problem-solving skills that she's gained from all the skills she's picked up

Loyal. She's always willing to back up the turtles, and goes out of her way to keep Splinter happy with her company. Once she finds a friend it's hard to pry her away

Unlucky. Mostly in absurd or mundane ways. She has that whole curse with her birthday, but things don't often tend to go right for April O'Neil, which contributes to the disasters that cause her to get fired all the time

Miscellaneous:

Code-named "yellow submarine" by raph

Tends to have information on wifi passwords, secret exists, and access to keys from all the jobs she's been hired and fired from

Has a preference for blunt objects as weapons (most commonly bats, clubs, pipes)

Uses the environment in a fight in general

She's been part of the "warren stone fanclub" since 2010, and keeps all her ids in her wallet

Likes unicorns and cats (as seen through her brief texts with sunita and her pajamas)

Loves laser tag

Can beat Donnie at video games (if he didn't use cheat codes)

"sherlock_corn" is her handle online

Lives in an apartment/flat with her mom (showed onscreen briefly), that has its own bathroom

Has a subtly mentioned interest in fantasy, as noted by Donnie she tends to download fantasy rpgs and freaks out over cosplay wizards

Just an end note to all of you who aren't black, some offensive tropes I would stray from is making April the angry black girl. This is one of the most common stereotypes of black women in media. I wouldn't mistake April's passion or loudness for aggression. It would be a disservice to dilute her lively character into familiar but ultimately harmful tropes in media.

I am in no way saying you cannot portray April as angry, this is a powerful emotion and it should be explored with black characters, but I am saying that should not be the base of her character. Because well that's not even April's base. She's centered around fun and thrill-seeking.

Wikipedia (yes I know, But they have proven to be more dependable these past years) has a good article on the angry black woman stereotype, so that would a good place to start research on what to Avoid. In my splinter post I also provided some links on doing research on writing poc.

---

Anyway!!! We've ended our analysis trip of the main cast in s1. Next I'm thinking of picking apart our antagonists :]. Gonna take a break to work on my own fic, but stay tuned if you found any of my other posts helpful! It's been a fun ride with you all <3

[jjs-brainrot]

And finished Girls band Cry.

Is it the best band anime of all time? Yes. Is it up there with stuff from Studio Orange as one of the best 3DCG anime? Yes. Is it absolutely my contender for anime of the season? Hell yes!

It's honestly been a long time since I've seen a completely original series just keep up such a consistently high production value and writing quality through out its run time. Like what ever you choose for the "weakest" episode would still basically be the highlight episode in any other anime.

The CGI genuinely might be some of the most expressive and fluid I've seen in a 3DCG anime. Like not even just in terms of framerate or character movement, I mean every scene each character has so much detailed and intricate facial and body language going on at every moment. It doesn't translate well into screenshots but it genuinely feels like you can just get how a character is feeling and what their personality is like in any given scene based purely on body language a lone which is incredibly impressive.

Writing-wise, it's hit after hit after hit. While some episodes are higher then others, there's never a moment where the series isn't doing everything in it's power to hit the emotional beats it's wanting to hit. The writing also just fully commits to feeling just really well grounded? Like nothing feels too out of left field or unearned and it just feels like a pretty natural story about a band coming together to try to make it in the modern music scene.

The entirety of the main cast is just fantastic.

Nina is easily going up there as one of my all time favorite protags. She's brash, goofy, has a sense of justice she never strays from even when it actively does her harm, she's angry af and she genuinely acts like how a teenager who's been though some shit would act. She's a flawed person (an outright hypocrite at times even) but that's what makes her such a relatable character.

Momoka comes across as a hot headed but confident rocker girl, but the reality is she's a bit of a coward. She sees herself as a complete failure and the only reason she hasn't already run away is the angry little hedgehog girl, whom she sees so much of her younger self in (even if a lot of that might be projection), keeps stopping her at every turn.

Subaru: the actress, the liar, the goofball, the hedgehog wrestler. So much of her personality is being as blatantly fake as fuck as she can every scene before someone calls her out on it. And so much of her fakeness just crumbles anytime she has to deal with her bandmate's antics (Nina especially) to the point that she can just be herself around them. She also has the funnest facial expressions and body language. She just has to be extra in every scene she's in.

Tomo and Rupa did feel like they got a little bit shafted in the series if I'm honest. A lot of that is because they really didn't get to get much screen time until the half way point though the fact that the series is much more focused on Nina and Momoka's storyline so the other three got less focus. Tomo tended to act like the band's straight man but she def got her own goofy moments. Rupa is the friend mom of the band. She does have the most depressing backstory but she always has to keep the mood lively (especially if there's beer involved).

The Music in GBC is absolutely fantastic. If Bocchi the Rock! is an homage to the current J-Rock scene, referencing bands like Asian Kung-Fu Generation, Tricot and 88Kasyo Junrei, Girls Band Cry is much more focused on paying homages to J-Rock from the 90s and 2000s, referencing bands like Yura Yura Teikoku, Gingnangboyz, Spitz and Eastern Youth.

Togenashi Togeari themselves might be my all time favorite J-Rock band now. Their music just absolutely hits and I just can't stop obsessing over them. What's particularly wild is that the VAs/musicians comprising Togenashi Togeari are all first time VAs who were all hired through an audition process that was specifically looking for women who never sung in public, played in a band, or played rock before. The series is just that committed to being grounded that it forms a band of nobody's who didn't know about each other before becoming a band to play a band of nobody's who didn't know about each other before becoming a band.

So anyways, I've rambling for far too long. Girls band Cry is amazing, you should all watch it in whatever way you can and then listen to all of TogeToge's songs on endless repeat like me.

[tetsunabouquet]

Alright, I've been rewatching MLB for the shitshow it is for my hopes with the upcoming S6. I really hope Astruc finaly taking a backseat will save the potential of this show because so many episodes since S3 have been hot garbage. Which is why I want to rant about one of the S5 episodes because it needs to be said about my best girl Juleka: HELLO?! That record label dude is so stupid! He wants to milk out Luka for nepo baby reasons, but Juleka is also right there! If he had just even tried to pay attention to her and didn't had a trash taste in music, he would have realized she's also a potential nepo baby cashcow. Not only that but if he paid attention, he would also have realized their absent keyboard player is Adrien Agreste! Kitty Section literally has 3 nepo babies in their line-up and they're actually talented! How often do you find something like that in the wild?! If Bob had taste as well as intelligence, he would have known Kitty Section was worth keeping in its entirety because who in-universe wouldn't be interested in the band of Jagged Stone's two children and Gabriel Agreste's son? With Juleka and Rose being a couple, there's already shipping material in the band itself and potential for a loyal sapphic following. Plus, there is Adrien's past as a model. Sure, he doesn't wants to be one anymore but hello? My girl Juleka? She stated she wanted to be a model in earlier seasons and let's be honest, Adrien is kind enough to be able to be manipulated back into modelling, at least a couple of sessions for the sake of propelling Juleka's career as a model. That's more of a short-term strategy, but it would work and once that's over you have Juleka's modeling career to make profit off! That's what I would have done if I had been Bob. I hope Juleka finally gets some appreciation in S6.

[adarkrainbow]

Neverafter notes (1)

I am re-doing my Dimension 20: Neverafter notes. However I will go in a slightly different direction – since not many people are interested in these posts, and I do them mostly for me anyway, I’ll go with a… drier listing style I guess? Here my notes covering the three first episodes – aka the first arc of the season – aka the entirety of what we have with the first version of the Neverafter multiverse. Episode 1, The Time of Shadows. Episode 2, Mirror, Mirror. Episode 3, No Place for a Prince or Princess.

THE CHILDREN OF DESTINY:

Rosamund du Prix is Sleeping Beauty. More precisely she is a take on Disney’s Aurora – between her backstory involving three good fairies and a wicked one (the good fairies being recognizable by their colors, the third being dressed in blue) and the character herself being played like your “typical Disney princess cliché” (and twisted around – the whole thing of animal handling and survival in the wood being a D&D Ranger, or how her gifts of beauty and grace are about maintaining good-looks despite living in the wild and having agility bonus). There’s however some brothers Grimm points thrown into it all – such as the focus on “briars” and how the thorns killed all the princes that tried to reach

Gerard of Greenleigh is The Frog Prince (aka the popular culture take on the brothers Grimm fairytale “The Frog King”). Frog humanoid= D&D Hobgoblin.

Pib is Puss in Boots. From the French fairytale of Charles Perrault. Talking cat scoundrel = D&D’s Tabaxi Rogue. By episode 3, Alphonse (the mule from the original fairytale) turns out to be an actual talking animal too and to still be around the Neverafter.

Pinocchio is… well Pinocchio. Talking puppet = D&D’s Warforged. Is a Warlock, with his broken nose as his wizard’s staff and the Stepmother as his patron.

Timothy “Mother” Goose. Mother Goose. Famous figure-of-speech/title expression thanks to Perrault, but only became its own character in England, where she became the British “mascot” for nursery rhymes and fairy tales. Even got a nursery rhyme of her own, “Old Mother Goose and her son Jack”, of which Timothy as a character derives from. The Jack from this nursery rhyme is also the Jack of the game which is ALSO the “Jack be nimble” rhyme. Timothy’s husband, Henry Hubbard, is also from the nursery rhyme world – “Old Mother Hubbard”. Storyteller witch and caretaker = D&D’s Bard.

Ylfa Snorgelsson. Is Little Red Riding Hood: the Perrault version (since there was no Huntsman or Woodsman to save her, and she was “eaten” in the end – more here bitten and turned into a werewolf), but with touches and dashes of the Grimm version (the axe evoking the Woodsman, the whole thing about “not straying from the path”). Turning Little Red Riding Hood into a werewolf story has been made very popular thanks to the first influential work of fiction who did it: Angela Carter’s Gothic collection “The Bloody Chamber” which contains three short stories interweaving werewolves and Little Red Riding Hood (The Werewolf, The Company of Wolves, Wolf-Alice). These three tales were mixed in the cult classic movie “The Company of Wolves”, which added to Carter’s plotlines an exploration of the symbolic puberty of a young girl – something that is also explored in how Ylfa’s lycantrophy is treated. Werewolf Little Red still a popular take (the 2011 movie).

SOURCES OF INFLUENCE FOR THIS SEASON:

Into the Woods. Definitively. They make it very obvious. The giants being one of the main threats crushing everything ; the way the briars talked to Rosamund about keeping her safe (the Witch’s “Stay with me”), how Brennan and the gang repeat “Into the woods” in episode 2.

The Book of Lost Things – very possible. The Time of Shadows works so much like how there’s this cyclical corruption of the fairytale world in this novel. And both are about a magical quest to restore the land centered around a magical book supposedly containing all of the answers…

Fables. Maybe? I have never seen anywhere else the idea of “The de-transformed prince slowly turns back to his cursed form as the love of the princess wanes” (Gerard and Elodie, Beast and Beauty). Also the use of “living archetypes” within a collective fairytale world – something that Fables also became very famous for. Plus the Snow Queen being shown as an antagonist and an invading force.

Guillermo del Toro’s Pan Labyrinth. Maybe? The moment of “let’s all touch the book” in episode 2, especially when some drawings started appearing out of blood, reminded me of the magic book of this movie. Plus, it is a classic of “dark fairytale” movies, or “fairytale horror” if you prefer.

Terry Pratchett’s Witches Abroad. Almost certain, if not definitively. The entire sequence of Rosamund meeting the traumatized mice and talking to them reuses almost word for word the ideas that Pratchett brought in his novel about animals in fairytales being driven mad at being forced at acting humans. The entire thing of the Fairy Godmother and her transformed minions seems pulled out straight of the “fairytale horror” of this novel and of Genua’s fairy godmother tyrannical rule.

Shrek. Probably? After all it is the most famous piece of American media to deal with fairytales outside of the Disney movies… At least it is frequently referenced by the players.

FAIRYTALE CLICHES PLAYED AROUND WITH:

# “Happily ever after”. What happens once the fairytale ending is reach. The case of Elodie and Gerard is an especially fascinating case of exploring the metaphysical and human consequences of this idea. Elodie can’t stand the feeling that her life is supposed to end after her marriage, Gerard’s belief in happily ever after makes him passive and delusional, and the logical consequences of such a strange case of “meet-and-match” lead to the lovers with incompatible desires and personalities to fall apart. Logical consequences also evoked with Stephan, Pib’s owner, an illiterate miller son will have a hard time passing off as royal nobility.

# Magical things happening to royals naturally.

# “Do not stray from the path”. Pretty much unique to Ylfa’s fairytale, but still heavily discussed and played around (The important thing is that we stray together ; is it still straying from the path if a magical one opened in the woods).

# Bandlebridge is tricked by the old rule of “You must grant every demand of the magical being to get your reward”.

# Not a fairytale trope, but I love how the idea of “fireside stories” is reinvented with this magical silvery log that wards off the camp from “goblins and boggarts” as long as someone tells a story as it burns. Is it a real D&D item?

# The “dark forest” motif. Of course there is the “Black Wood” of Grimmweir… Though it is said to be but one of the several “primeval forests” filled with dangers on this continent. Averted with Rosamund’s ranger talents which turn a deadly travel into a pleasant stroll by episode 2.

# Some characters not having names in fairytales (The Stepmother lost her name, nobody can remember it).

# Emily asking to specify if it is “mother blood, stepmother blood, godmother blood, grandmother blood” is a good joke on how fairytale trolls and giants can somehow smell very specific types of blood “Smells like Christian blood”, “Smells like an Englishman’s blood”.

"Once upon a time". The answer to the total party kill that Ylfa gets from the Big Bad Wolf - "the end of the story" embodied revealing to her the "wicked beings" are all motivated by preventing the "turning of the pages" - and thus that the book isn't here to "restore" the world by returning into the past. It isn't about clinging to what once was, it is about moving forward and telling new tales - not returning to the happy ending as the Fairies obsess over but rather move forard to a new "Once upon a time..."

KINGDOMS AND HOW THEY FELL

# Rêverie. Sleeping Beauty’s kingdom (fitting name). Fell due to the Sleeping Beauty curse, as the briars overtook everything – because a thorny wilderness.

# Greenleigh. The Frog Prince’s kingdom. Fell due to a war as the Snow Queen’s armies invaded.

# Snowhold. The Snow Queen’s kingdom. Invaded Greenleigh for unknown reasons.

# Marienne. Puss in Boots’ kingdom. Fell to giants that crushed everything. It is unclear why, but given later episodes evoke the Ogre of Carabas as the giants’ little brother, it might be revenge. Also contains Amanti, Pinocchio and Gepetto’s village – so Marienne seems also to be the main country of Pinocchio’s adventures.

# The Lullaby Lands. As the name indicates, the place of all nursery rhymes. Not a kingdom as it has no central government and is more of a collection of autonomous communities – which already is a sign that it does not “fit” into the “Grimmweir” continent and was added to this fairytale world where everything is a kingdom. Pottingham is the village of Mother Goose and Ylfa – making it also the village of “Little Red Riding Hood”. Hasn’t much fell, but has known all sorts of horrifying manifestations (the Gander, the Wolf) ending in death (turned to skeleton, house and family blown away) plus recurring bad weather and persistent rain causing flooding.

# Jubilee = realm of Old King Cole. Fell to a war, though the details are unspecified. Given Jubilee was right next to Greenleigh it might have been the same war launched by the Snow Queen.

# Shoeberg = the Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe. A “festering boil” and one of the last thriving places in the Neverafter.

# Tapestry. Snow-White’s kingdom. Fell for unknown reason. See the Magic Mirror entry.

# Elegy. Cinderella’s realm. Also fell for unknown reasons – though we do know Cinderella’s hometown and the area around it “fell” due to the insanity and the spells of the undead Fairy Godmother. One of the symptoms of this kingdom falling is that the “courts of the sun and the moon” seem in disarray or conflict, leading to a very bizarre sky which is not in day nor night, and where the sun shines in a purple starry twilight (might be an Alice Through the Looking Glass reference – The Walrus and the Carpenter). Had a “burgeoning” middle-class of merchants, traders, artisans and craftsmen to which Cinderella’s father belonged, and the hunt of the prince with the shoe became the hot-gossip of neighboring royals (such as Gerard).

FAIRIES TALK

# So we have five confirmed fairies in this version of the Neverafter, plus a possible sixth one, and an ambiguous seventh. Rosamund had three good fairy godmothers – given the third one has a blue dress, and she asks about the undead fairy’s dress-color to identify her, we can assume going by the Disney code these fairies were the Red Fairy, Green Fairy and Blue Fairy. Plus the Wicked Fairy, dressed in black – who also was the Wicked Fairy involved in Pinocchio’s return-to-being-a-puppet as she came to just… kill all the fathers of Amanti I guess? She is clearly meant to be the archetypal “wicked fairy” (plus Disney’s Maleficent).

# The Fairy Godmother of Cinderella is stated to not be the same as the fairies of Rosamund’s story. Purple gown. Driven mad as Cinderella’s shard caused her to be stuck in a state “neither alive nor dead”, constantly bleeding out both blood and magic. Started turning every item she could meet into half-servants (and even before she was said to have gone on a spree of forcing people to fall in love and having animals turned into humans). Kept repeating Cinderella’s storyline to various degrees (help them win the “Mayfair queen”). The same way Rosamund’s fairies are a take on Disney’s fairies in “Sleeping Beauty”, this fairy is very clearly Disney’s Cinderella godmother (she even says her magical line) ; interestingly her having a crown on the head seems to be a nod to the enchantress/fairy of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, especially since the description of her minions (such as a bouncing armoire) are very clearly reminiscent of the sentient furniture in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. Episode 3 confirms that she was the fairy who turned Gerard into a frog when he was a little boy to make him “learn manners” as she thought he was “rude” – again reinforces my theory that she has “Disney’s enchantress from Beauty and the Beast” vibes.

# The Sugarplum Fairy was possibly the sixth fairy of this world. When Herr Drosselmeyer turned into text, there were references to “sugarplums” and “a fairy”. If he had stayed longer perhaps we would have met her.

# The ambiguous seventh is the Fairy with Turquoise Hair. She is present and involved in Pinocchio’s backstory, as I write this I can’t recall if she is meant to be the same as the “Blue Fairy”. If not this makes her the sixth or seventh fairy of this world.

# Fairy blood smells like cinnamon, spice, sparks and ambers.

# The Fairy Godmother’s comment that “Magic was never yours, it is ours”: fairy monopole on magic?

MORE CULTURAL REFERENCES

# The Gander is the inversion of the traditional Mother Goose imagery + a twisted take on the “Goose Laying Golden Eggs” motif + a reinvention of the trope of the genie granting you three wishes, but in a horrifying and/or deadly way. Literal embodiment of the Time of Shadows as we will later learn, and not just one spirit among it (as such parallels The Crooked Man from The Book of Lost Things – also an evil wish-granter). Tumblr user lostsometime evoked how the Gander using the verb “wander” while taunting Timothy might be a reference to “Goosey Goosey Gander”.

# It will later be confirmed but we know here (especially from how Ylfa gains the power to blow away with her breath people and houses) that the Wolf is both the one from Little Red Riding Hood and The Three Little Pigs (British fairytale, Joseph Jacobs).

# The town of Shoeberg and the family who runs it, led by a 107 matriarch, is from the nursery rhyme “There was an old woman who lived in a shoe”.

# What was the Chandling Caravan/Company named after? The Rub-a-Dub-Dub/Three Men in a Tub nursery rhyme, because “chandler” is candle-making… Or maybe the old British children song “Tommy kept a chandler’s shop”? Or maybe none of this and I’m reading too much. The leader of the Caravan is of course from “The Little Red Hen” story (American “fable”, from Mary Mapes Dodge).

# Old King Cole = the nursery rhyme of the same name.

# Herr Drosselmeyer (“magician, clockmaker and godfather”) and the characters surrounding him are, of course, from “The Nutcracker” ballet. The Nutcracker himself is evoked in various ways as someone Drosselmeyer pursues: at first he is presented as a “clockwork man” and one of the magical creations of Drosselmeyer that got away and run off on its own ; later he is revealed to be Drosselmeyer’s godson: “driven to rash behavior by grief” he is now working on a revenge that worries Drosselmeyer. As he dissolves into text, there are mentions of the Sugarplum Fairy and the Mice King, “or King of Rats with seven heads”. Is the alternation “Mice King/King of Rats” important? If this season is indeed inspired by Pratchett’s fairytale twists, then it might have leaned into something akin to “The Amazing Maurice”, where the myth of the “rat-king” was mixed with the Pied Piper of Hamelin. Maybe the same here? Herr Drosselmeyer also seems to have been more than just a Nutcracker character… Everybody pointed out that him driving around in a teapot pulled by a giant rabbit, and having a magic mirror in his collection, gave off strong Alice vibes (plus there is a clock with a cat symbol on it that stops time… Cheshire Cat and Mad Hatter?). I also thought about how it was insisted that he turned into an owl upon touching the book, and his comment that he was not a “kind man” before – given he seems to come from a world of fairytale ballet (and has strong link to birds, he captures the ostrich) maybe Von Rothbart from The Swan Lake? The character of Drosselmeyer and the Swan Lake plot had already been mixed in another fairytale-deconstruction work: the Princess Tutu anime. Also there is an insistence upon “winter time” in his “dissolving text”: maybe Snow Queen ties?

# The Magic Mirror was first suspected to be the one used by the Snow Queen – due to the low temperature around it, Zach even asked if it was snowing near the mirror. However it is revealed to be the mirror of the evil queen from Snow-White, answering questions if asked the rhyme (“Mirror, mirror, leaning against a wall”). Very likely created by the dwarves of the kingdom, since Tapestry is known outside of its fine crafting to be a place of magical items created through “spell-craft” and “enchantments” by dwarves. Also interestingly, the Mirror seems to encourage people to ambition (“do you want to be the wisest, richest, fairest in the land?”) and wants to be returned to “her”. Given it asked Pinocchio, it seems the Mirror wants to return to the “evil queen” (absorbed/covered by the Stepmother).

# Cinderella. Her story went wrong when she returned to investigate what her Stepmother did to her step-sisters and what happened to her. Fairy Godmother tried to force her to return to the castle and her prince and ignore all that. She stabbed her with a broken heel of her glass slipper, turned glass spear ; now is a warrior dressed in a “crystalline glass armor” and part of the “Sisters”. Her backstory is basically Disney’s plotline (the Fairy Godmother even uses the Disney Godmother magical line) but with elements of the Grimm version added (the sisters cutting off toe and heel).

# The Stepmother started out as Cinderella’s stepmother before… becoming all wrong. As we will learn later she became the “Stepmother” archetype, but so far all we know is that she used to be Cinderella’s human stepmother, did some foul magic by devouring her daughters (ogress motif), and then became this otherworldly spirit serving as Pinocchio’s stepmother. Plus, has ties (yet unknown) to Snow-White’s witch-queen of a stepmom. (silhouette in the door to check), and of course when Pinocchio uses her magic she manifests as a puppet-master using him as a puppet to enact her revenge against Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother (episode 3).

OTHER NOTES

# The list of threats for the Time of Shadows is given as “giants, witches, wizards, and creatures of the sea”. We meet all of them except for the wizards. Maybe it was something up Herr Drosselmeyer’s plotline?

# Time of Shadows is a cosmic/metaphorical storm AND a literal set of storms that cause bad weather everything (the pouring rains causing flooding in Pottingham is described by episode 1). Got huge King Lear vibes from this – especially since King Lear is THE fairytale-play of Shakespeare.

# The book is clearly about restoring the Neverafter into its peaceful, happy, “regular” state from before the Time of Shadows, however it is shown to work differently for the different types of stories it is confronted with. The book “activates” itself by nursery rhyme-characters (creates sounds as Old King Cole speaks, makes Timothy tingle upon hearing about the Old Woman who lived in a shoe) and ultimately absorbs them ; with fairy tales-characters it seems to mostly show them *where* their story got broken (Rosamund sees her flickering prince, as her prince did not come ; Pinocchio sees the island of toys which is a big part of the adventure ; Ylfa sees the wolf in the wood which is also the point of her story switching). With nursery rhyme characters it just restores them back to their original state and sends them back to a nursery rhyme world (makes sense as we learn later how the nursery rhyme universe was forced into the Neverafter) ; but it needs in the fairytale side of things an “early part of the world that was broken off” in the shape of specific items that it “hungers” for. All items reflecting famous stories, and tied to the Princesses, but warped in the Time of Shadows. Two are confirmed: Cinderella’s glass slipper, turned into a broken shard of glass then glass spear ; and Elodie’s golden ball, turned into golden mace in the times of war.

# Greenleigh has “wise women” in charge of medicine, tonic and other products of the sort. Grimm fairytale nod.

# Here “Carabas” was the title of the ogre-lord before Pib can in and made Stephan a Marquis.

# Gerard and Rosamund’s families are closely related: just a joke, but they are still cousins “three different times”.

# Trollsons are a thing in this world, a name for descendants of trolls (pun on “son”, as the Nordic suffix).

# Lord Bandlebridge’s comment, while a classist statement, confirms that witches, fairies and ogres have an habit of disguising themselves as beggars.

# We never get to know who the “young teenage girl” of the caravans was.

# We’ll see if the whole witch system in the Neverafter is clarified. Because we have your usual, random, human witch living in their tiny corner of the world and performing humble magic (Timothy Goose), and we know that later there are big, evil, powerful witches of multiversal scope. So… I’ll keep this for later episodes.

# Has Drosselmeyer’s giant rabbit’s name any signification? Eidelgrin? Probably not…

[emblazons]

a post in defense of (a very much alive) S5 Jonathan Byers

under the cut b/c this is more frustrated commentary than strict analysis, and you shouldn't have to read if you don't want to.

I feel like it must have come from the dry spell between seasons, but I have to say it: all of this “Jonathan is gonna die and that means Stancy could happen” stuff lately is not only giving "I just like angst for its own sake," it's lowkey nonsense if you look at it thematically (in context of the Jon/Nancy/Steve madness yes, but especially in context of the Byers family).

—like? Friends.

Given the Duffer’s track record of refusing to fully kill off major characters even when it could have made sense to (cc: Hopper and Max), I don’t think anyone is actually meeting their end, but let’s be SO serious about who is actually likely to get axed: the boy with a mom, brother, step-sister and girlfriend who have been central to every single moment in this show…or the one they've put into a triangle we all thought was over until S4, who they’ve honestly written into a corner, & whose primary drive in four entire seasons was getting a girlfriend and protecting a bunch of teenagers?

I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's just talk Jonathan.

The Duffers (Matt especially) have openly gotten upset at even the notion of Mike dying because "that's depressing" AND "that's Nancy's brother" (showing the familial ties are a HUGE part of what would keep them from ending someone), in addition to them saying they've thought through every imaginable scenario" on who might die—

—and you think its Jonathan whose meeting his end? King of championing "not liking what you don't have to" and the outcasts in all areas from music taste to being queer...after all the Byers have been through and knowing The Duffers write toward championing the outcasts and those who embrace their differences?

That, combined with the fact that the only "evidence" I've ever seen for him potentially dying has been that speech he gave to Will in the SBP somehow being connected to (you guessed it) setting up angst for Will...I'm gonna take a hard and wild educated guess based on the entirety of the rest of the show and say that was literally written so Will could catch a goddamn break, not as a death tag.

The fact that Noah confirmed it wasn't in the Duffer's OG script, was written day of filming + was done because "it was important for people to see will wasn't alone" is evidence enough for that.

Even so, the fact that there are still at least 4 unresolved plots Jonathan is part and privy to makes his death even less likely, because it wouldn't make sense for resolving anything for him to die at all, never mind in the episodes before our supposed timeskip.

Jonathan's messy relationship with Nancy, the fact that he's the only one who actually knows Will is gay, and the fact that he's the only other character who saw & understood the ULTIMATE Chekhov's gun in the form of that painting (on top of also having a longstanding relationship with Mike )should make it clear he isn't going anywhere from a narrative perspective...and I'm not even sure where the idea that he would die popped up, other than fandom warping the canon and projecting onto the plot.

The Duffers have always been clear about not doing things solely for the sake of surprise + not liking things that don't make narrative sense...and Jonathan's death would be both of those things, done solely for shock value.

I just. Be so serious right now. if you want to imagine the weight of Jonathan dying SOLELY for fandom angst DO THAT...but don't pretend like his death in the show wouldn't be the most poorly foreshadowed thing in this entire show, on top of not matching a single theme of the ongoing Stranger Things narrative. ☠️

Put some respect on his name lmao

Bonus: If you really want to talk about character's dying (and not just jump into angst for its own sake): they haven’t given Steve a proper love interest EVER outside of Nancy, made Dustin cry over Eddie instead of staying close to Steve S4, and haven’t ONCE referenced that boy’s family properly more than a few times in passing (and only by Steve himself).

He is the only character who craves normalcy despite this show being about championing the outcast, was supposed to die seasons ago but stayed because Joe Keery was so beloved, and has now been written into a corner where every single person who is central to him (esp Dustin and Robin) either have a new love interest or are worried about something else more than him, which...if you want canonical evidence for a possible death, you're looking in the wrong corner of this love triangle.

[karaloza]

What If They Rebooted the Zelda Cartoon?

I recently binged the entirety of the 1980s Legend of Zelda cartoon on YouTube over the course of an evening. It's basically as cringey as I remember, though there are the occasional genuinely funny zingers. The thing is, it was entirely standard for cartoon series in the 80s--cheap animation, low-effort, repetitive writing, so episodic that you could play the episodes in any order and it would still make just as much sense (in fact, we suspect that the last two episodes were swapped for airing), and 100% comedy with no actual tension or real stakes. The amazing thing is that the production team clearly cared about what they were making--they just didn't have the resources or freedom to make it well.

So what if someone tried again, now, with another ~35 years of Zelda lore to draw on for material AND the corresponding advancement in the medium of TV animation? Think of the possibilities!

I'm envisioning not the same tone as the original, but the equivalent tone for this decade--still generous with the humor, but with genuine stakes and a more serialized story line. Also less blatantly horny--Link constantly demanding kisses from Zelda is both annoyingly repetitive and makes him look like a creeper by modern standards. There are better ways to portray teenagers who are into each other but too proud to show vulnerability and too stubborn to admit that they don't know what they're doing.

It would not be Individual Zelda Game(s): The Cartoon, but its own thing that uses ideas from any and all games as appropriate.

Spryte could still be in it, but now she'd have a Navi-like role of identifying monsters for Link (who can be new to the hero business) and spotting for him when he fights them. And she can still have a thing for him...in fact, go ahead and make Link a chick magnet who's too young and inexperienced to know how to handle it gracefully, which is a source of friction between him and Zelda. That gives us ready-made plot complications for characters like Malon, Ruto and/or Mipha, Nabooru, Midna, maybe even Saria.

Three words: Link's Awakening episode. (Or few-episode arc.) Link goes missing during a storm at sea and the action is split between him, navigating Koholint Island, and the rest of the gang back in Hyrule, trying to find him.

We also need an episode introducing Zelda's alter-ego as Sheik. But not "Everyone tells the girl she can't do the thing because she's a girl, so she disguises herself as a boy and does the thing, and then unmasks herself at a dramatic moment and they all eat crow." That sort of thing went out with the 90s. Maybe more of a Breath of the Wild situation where the king insists Zelda needs to spend more time developing her magical princess powers at home and can't go on adventures with Link, so she develops the Sheik persona in order to sneak out.

Link gets to say "Well, excuuuse me, princess!" once in the entire runtime of the series, as a throwback gag.

I could probably keep going, but you get the idea.

[beesmygod]

JJBA PART 5, VENTO AUREO IS THE UNDERBAKED MESS I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT FIXING...PART 2

FIX 2: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A PROBLEM LIKE GIORNO?

thats the homo photo of my dad

answer: i dont know.

the unfortunate and honest to god truth of the matter is that the protagonist of JJBA part 5, giorno giovanna, fucking sucks.

what if that little shithead from the twilight zone episode "it's a good life" was gay and watched "goodfellas". you might think "wow that sounds great" but, well, somehow it's not.

it is months later and i have been struggling with writing this for a bazillion reasons: i got sick, real life events occurred, i had to work on comic, i died, etc. but the most strenuous reason of all in the end was facing the impenetrable, tangled, and deeply complicated gordian knot that is the little ladybug loving bitch named giorno and not knowing where the fuck to even begin.

i had to think long and hard about how to approach the problem of "giorno giovanna". he is like a diamond of sucking ass: multi-faceted and beautiful in his perfection but is, ultimately, just a stupid fucking rock from the dirt. he completely lacks the innate charisma and personality inherent in previous jojo protagonists AND antagonists; despite having both the joestar AND brando gene pools to pull from, he manages to snag a net total of 0 personality traits. this problem is multiplied 100 fold once he starts actually doing things to move the plot along and the universe repeatedly bends itself like a pretzel in order to gift him undeserved and unrewarding (to us, the audience) win after win after win.

his theme goes hard as hell tho

if you were to ask me what is wrong with giorno, i would have no problem making a long and detailed list of why i want to slap the little cinnamon rolls of his head. i have no idea how to organize that list into a more coherent form of criticism that points at the overarching structural weakness of part 5. part 5 really, really wants you to like and root for giorno. it hinges on it. his victories are explicitly supposed to be emotionally and morally gratifying. they are instead trite and annoying.

for years, YEARS, my only experience with the entirety of part 5 outside of infamous panels and the most basic information about the story, was this incredible, evergreen and laser targeted tweet:

i thought this was a funny shit post. all i knew giorno had some kind of "life creation" power. what i didnt know was:

giorno says this exact line and then turns cars into frogs so that they (the bad guys) cant catch them (they do catch them)

giorno's power IS fucking stupid

i fucking hate him

he should stop using it

abbacchio was right. he was right about everything

how DO you talk about giorno? giorno's blandness permeates any situation he has the misfortune of attending and the parts of the narrative where he's missing for one reason or another are significantly improved by his absence. in comparison with the deuteragonists (bruno bucciarati) and tritagonists (the members of bruno's squad in the mafia family passione), he has all the flavor of a communion wafer. his character arc is non-existent. emotionally, he might as well have just gone to the store and back by the end of the story.

and, look, araki likes to play fast and loose with how powerful a stand is or what its abilities are. im not here to measure power levels or fucking whatever stupid shit people get up to. the more wild and insane he gets with his incredibly "unique" ""understanding"" of science and geometry, i'm 99% on board for. but giorno's stand, gold experience, is whatever the narrative needs it to be at any given time with no consistency. it's OP as hell long before he gets the 11th hour power boost; his stand has the extra trans-dimensional ability to remove any tension from a fight scene. through this, gold requiem can destroy the psyche of the audience, truly making it the most powerful stand of all time.

people used to love to bitch about not understanding how the villain's stand works in this part, but if anyone tells you they understand what the fuck THIS means they're lying to you.

anyway, there is only one solution i can think of when it comes to how to approach this: assess the major story beats in order. i think jumping around in the progression of events to highlight individual flaws in the character will not adequately impart the suffering one feels as an audience member while the narrative yo-yos between being rollicking good fun and being at the mercy of the little 15 year old twink with god mode on.

and so, having made it past koichi's tiny ass role (and his tiny ass) in the story and addressing how we can proceed, we can cover bruno (a genuinely wonderful character), polpo, and the wasted character building opportunity of the piss drinking scene, which vexes and infuriates me to this day. [thinking about the piss scene and getting mad again] ooooh!!!!

[just-another-josh]

Wild

The morning sun shone brightly over National City with not a cloud in sight. Sunlight streamed plentifully through the floor-to-ceiling windows, brightly illuminating the entirety of Kara Danvers’ loft, prompting the sleeping hero to stir from her slumber.

Kara grimaced at the intense glare and closed her eyes as tight as she could. Her sour look was quickly replaced with an airy grin when she felt the body spooned against her back and the wisps of warm breath tickling the nape of her neck. The grin fully morphed into a smile when she noticed the arm loosely wrapped around her bare waist; a smile brighter than the sunlight invading her room.

Kara softly traced the pads of her fingers across the pale-skinned arm, causing its owner to stir. The Kryptonian delicately lifted the hand to her lips and began peppering it with light kisses, drawing out a soft moan from the woman lying next to her. Cleary taking the response as encouragement, Kara transitioned to sucking each finger individually; eliciting a sharp intake of breath from her bedmate followed by a slight canting of hips into Kara’s ass.  

“Don’t start anything you can’t finish,” Lena said in a husky rasp.

Kara turned around to face her and playfully replied, “Oh, I have no intention of stopping,” and proceeded to press her naked body into the brunette.

Their lips slowly came together in a chaste kiss that quickly transitioned into an all-out assault of teeth and tongues. Hands quickly began to wander. Lena’s hands traced over Kara’s bare chest and descended across the hero’s well-defined abs before zeroing in on the sensitive junction between Kara’s thighs.

Kara gasped and continued to rub on Lena’s bare thigh and gradually moved up her body until reaching the hemline of the brunette’s tight-fitting, threadbare pajama top. Kara’s eyebrows damn-near popped out of her head when she pulled up the top to reveal that Lena was not wearing any underwear. Her face quickly shifted from shock to what could only be described as a look of insatiable hunger. She licked her lips Lena’s abundant arousal. The two locked eyes; a predatory look overtook Kara’s face. “I’m thinking breakfast in bed this morning.”

Lena moaned in agreement, her body shuddering ever so slightly in evident anticipation.

Kara was so preoccupied with her impending ‘breakfast’ that she failed to hear a key being inserted into her front door lock. She also missed the door unlocking and opening, and she sure-as-shit didn’t hear anyone enter the loft. What finally got her attention was the loud bang of the door as it slammed shut.

“Kara, are you up yet? I brought Noonan’s,” Alex called out.

Kara’s head popped up from between Lena’s legs with a wide-eyed look of terror on her face. “Oh shit,” she whispered.

Lena for her part simply rolled her eyes, clearly irritated by the unwelcome interruption.

“Relax,” Lena calmly whispered.

But how could Kara relax? Alex being in Kara’s loft created a slew of issues, chief among them her sister being completely in the dark about everything that had transpired between Kara and Lena the previous night.

Last night was jam-packed with life-changing events for the hero and the freshly reinstated LuthorCorp (soon to be L-Corp again) CEO. After enjoying a candlelit dinner that was entirely too intimate for two people that were just ‘best friends’, the two settled down to watch the latest episode of ‘Ahsoka’ (Kara would gladly suffer through Lena’s love of Star Wars because, well, it’s Lena). Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on who asked) the show was interrupted by a slew of unexpected occurrences.

In summary:

Kara and Lena kissed.

Kara and Lena confessed their feelings for each other.

Kara and Lena kissed again.

And again.

And again.

Kara and Lena tore each other’s clothes off and spent the remainder of the evening (and into the early morning hours) thoroughly burning off six years’ worth of built-up sexual tension. To say it was a good night would be an understatement.

So why was Alex’s presence in Kara’s loft problematic? Aside from the blonde and brunette being a mass of naked, tangled limbs in Kara’s bed?

They hadn’t had ‘The Talk’ yet.

Since everything that happened last night was pretty much a carnal blur after their first kiss, they didn’t really get a chance to establish exactly where their relationship stood and where it was going. Was this a one-time thing? Fuckbuddies? Girlfriends? Loading their shit into a U-Haul today? Trip to Vegas tonight? I mean sure, they said they love each other, but do they both feel the same way the morning after?

Alex most assuredly would interrogate them both on the spot if she knew the current scene taking place behind the curtain covering Kara’s bedroom. And that brought up another question: even if they could put a name to whatever it is they are doing, were Kara and Lena ready for Alex and every other member of their chosen family to be privy to it? What happens if it leaks out to the public that Supergirl is now in a romantic relationship with Lena? Would that put a bigger target on Lena’s back? Maybe they wanted to keep this new aspect of their relationship private from their friends, family, and the public.

Unfortunately, no answers could be had at this point because Kara and Lena hadn’t had a femtosecond to hash any of them out.

Hence Alex’s visit being infuriatingly problematic.

“C’mon Kara, I know you’re here! You can’t hide behind that curtain all day!” Alex bellowed.

Kara shot a panicked look at a completely nonplussed Lena. The blonde raised her hands in a silent plea for help. Lena shrugged and focused on Kara like she was trying to figure out what the problem was.

“Goddamnit Kara! If you’re not out here in five seconds, I’m going to call Lena and tell her you fantasize about her when you masturbate!”

Kara’s eyes shot to her hairline and her face turned three shades of red. She locked eyes with Lena before quickly burying her face in her hands.  

“One!”

Lena arched an eyebrow and bore a Chesire Cat-like grin. “Really?” she purred quietly.

“Two!”

Kara dropped her hands from her face and attempted to respond but quickly gave up and just nodded in defeat.

“Three!”

Lena pulled Kara into her arms and gently kissed the hero’s temple. “Go deal with your sister,” she whispered into her ear.

“Four!”

A small gust of wind later, Kara was standing next to her kitchen island; her abrupt arrival blowing a stack of napkins to the floor; Alex quickly bending over to grab them.

“Hiwhatareyoudoinghere?!?” Kara said in a high-pitched, borderline shrill voice.

“Kara, you know I can’t understand you when you talk at superspeed…” Alex said as she stood up with the napkins she had recovered from the floor in her hand. She placed them back on the counter and looked up at her sister. Her eyes widened into saucers and her mouth gaped in shock.

Her little sister stood before her naked as the day she was born and, aside from fidgeting with her fingers, made no effort to cover herself.

“Kara! What the hell!” Alex screamed and turned away from her sister faster than a speeding bullet.

The startled Kryptonian looked at the redhead with confusion. “What? What’s the matter?”

Alex loudly scoffed, “Oh for the love of…Kara…clothes Kara…you…you’re fucking naked!”

Upon looking down and confirming Alex’s observation, a now tomato-faced Kara yelped and quickly covered her chest with her right arm and her pelvic area with her left hand.

Alex turned to peek at her oblivious, idiot of a sister and was shocked to find her still standing near the kitchen island with a deer-in-the-headlights look splashed across her face.

The redhead’s stared in disbelief at the stock-still hero and yelled, “For fuck’s sake, Kara, go put some goddamn clothes on!”

Alex’s outburst seemed to motivate Kara into action and the blonde super-sped back into her room with enough force to blow the recently recovered stack of napkins (and a few other lightweight items situated around the loft) into a scattered mess on the floor; Alex making no effort to catch or clean them up this time.

Once back behind the curtain, Kara was greeted with the sight of Lena sitting on the end of the bed offering up a pair of underwear, baggy t-shirt, and pajama pants to the clearly humiliated hero. Lena was biting her bottom lip in a blatant attempt to stifle a look of amusement. Once Kara accepted the proffered clothes, Lena slapped her hand over her mouth to aid in her continuing battle to keep her composure. As Kara dressed at human speed, a few light snorts escaped Lena’s covered mouth. Kara flashed her an intense glare that the average onlooker might interpret as an oncoming barrage of heat vision.

Kara threw up her hands as if to say, ‘What the fuck?’ which prompted Lena to slap her other hand over her mouth. Seeing that she was getting nothing but grief from the CEO, Kara defiantly stuck her tongue out at her. Lena quickly turned and grabbed a pillow from the head of the bed, burying her face in it before dissolving into barely controlled giggles. Kara rolled her eyes at the brunette’s antics and walked at normal speed back into the kitchen area.

Kara emerged from her room and was immediately met with the sight of Alex standing in front of the kitchen island; her arms folded across her chest and a bewildered look on her face.

“What the hell was that about?”

Kara averted her eyes to the floor. “Um…I was…”

Alex held up her hand. “You know what? Never mind. I don’t want to know.” She briefly turned away from Kara before stopping herself and swinging back around to face her. “And just so we’re clear, we will never speak of this again.”

With a relieved sigh, Kara’s entire body seemed to deflate. She tensed up again when she noticed Alex hadn’t stopped looking at her. In fact, she seemed to be intensely studying her.

After a few more seconds of intense scrutiny, Alex appeared to have figured out whatever it was that she was looking for.

“You look shit, Kara. Did you not get any sleep last night?”

While Kara didn’t quite look like ‘shit’, the hero did look a little disheveled. She had a serious case of bedhead, puffy circles under her eyes, and seemed to be fidgeting more than usual.

Kara struggled a moment before replying, “Yeah, uh-huh.”

“No, seriously. You look like you’ve been tossing and turning all night.”

“Something like that,” she replied nervously; her eyes focusing everywhere besides her sister’s.

Alex looked at her with confusion etched across her face and shook her head. “Okay…?”

Kara appeared to be on the cusp of responding but she was saved by Alex turning her attention to the dining table and moving towards it. Kara walked around to the side of the table opposite Alex and took in the four paper bags, three large cardboard containers of food, and the drink holder with three large and one small disposable cup bearing the Noonan’s logo. Alex busied herself pulling bagels, donuts, and muffins from the bags and placing them on plates that she had apparently pulled from Kara’s cupboards before the Kryptonian’s impromptu display of exhibitionism.

Kara’s brow furrowed ever so slightly. “Alex?”

Alex absentmindedly hummed as she spooned scrambled eggs from one container onto a separate plate.

“Thank you for bringing me breakfast, but…that seems like a lot of food even for me. Are you not by yourself?”

“Sam and Ruby are outside parking the car. Should be up any minute,” Alex said as she continued to divvy up the food. She was so wrapped up in what she was doing that she missed the silently mouthed ‘fuck’ from her little sister.

“Oh, that’s cool,” Kara stammered. “Super cool,” she mumbled to herself.

Alex paid no attention to the blonde and continued, “Ruby’s taking her driving test again next week, we found a perfect spot for her to practice her parallel parking when we got here.”

“Isn’t this her fifth time taking the test?” Kara snorted.

Alex scoffed, “First of all, fuck you. Second, it’s only her fourth time. Third, you have no room to talk. It took you five tries to pass the test and you’re still a shit driver.”

Kara stuck her tongue out at her sister, which Alex ignored. Kara used her enhanced vision to look through her loft walls to see if she could find Sam and Ruby on the street. She quickly locked onto their minivan and watched as it clumsily faltered back and forth as Ruby tried to squeeze it in the parking spot bracketed by vehicles on both sides. Kara could see the space was barely big enough for the larger vehicle. She focused her vision further into the vehicle to get a look at its occupants. Ruby was the epitome of focus as she tried to slot the van into the spot; her tongue poking out the side of her mouth. Sam sat in the passenger’s seat with a composed look on her face as the van jerked back and forth. But when Kara focused her super-hearing, Sam’s accelerated heartbeat and erratic breathing told a different story.

Alex seemed to notice familiar gaze. “How bad is it?” she asked with a hint of exasperated concern in her voice.

“I think they’re going to be awhile,” Kara said with an apologetic look on her face.

Alex frowned but continued plating up their breakfast.

The redhead moved back into the kitchen and opened a cabinet. She stopped short and stood motionless.

After a minute of watching Alex stare at nothing, a confused Kara asked, “You ok over there?”

At Kara’s prompting, Alex moved to gaze at her sister. She studied her for a moment with an inquisitive look on her face, then calmly asked, “Why were you naked earlier?”

Kara immediately broke eye contact, instead opting to focus on her fidgeting hands. “I…I…was about to get in the shower when you got here. That’s why I couldn’t hear you…you know, ‘cause of the shower running. And then…I guess I rushed out so fast I forgot to put my pajamas back on.” Kara pinched her lips and nodded as if she had just convinced herself her story was plausible.

Alex tilted her head and frowned. “Bullshit. The shower wasn’t running when I got here.”

 Kara gasped and nervously giggled. “I mean…I was just getting out of bed and was heading to the bathroom to take a shower.” Kara gave her sister a forced smile.

“But you never sleep naked.”

Kara waved dismissively at the elder Danvers. “Pfft, I sleep naked all the time.”

“No, you don’t.” Alex stood undeterred.

“Yes, I do.”

“No, you don’t.”

“How would you know that?”

“You never slept naked the entire time we lived together.”

Kara looked at Alex incredulously. “Of course, I didn’t, we were living together!” Kara flashed a judgmental look at her sister.

Alex rolled her eyes. “Don’t look at me like I’m some weirdo. Accidents happen when people live together. Especially living in this tiny-ass loft.” Alex waved her hand around the tiny space.

“Still doesn’t prove anything,” Kara haughtily responded with a defiant look for good measure.

Alex squinted her eyes ever so slightly and unleashed a sinister grin. “You never slept naked when you were fucking Mon-El.”

All the color drained from Kara’s face and her eyes slowly widened to the size of large dinner plates. “How the hell did you know that?!?”

“He complained about it to me once. Said you were the biggest prude he’d ever met, which isn’t saying much considering where he came from.”

“That…that…asshole!” Kara’s face had turned fire engine red.

“Agreed. That’s why I threatened to throw him into a vat of molten lead if he ever talked about anything like that again.” Alex briefly smiled at the memory before turning to focus on her sister again. “But that’s irrelevant right now. What’s up with you?”

Kara managed to calm herself. She squared up towards Alex in a futile attempt to appear confident. “Nothing’s up. Everything’s fine,” Kara said with just a little too much squeak in her voice at the end.

“You’re lying.”

Kara laughed nervously. “Why do you think I’m…”.

Alex cut her off, pointing directly at the Kryptonian’s furrowed brow. “Crinkle.”

Kara sighed loudly and instinctively tried to rub away her long-standing tell. She gave Alex an aggravated look and took a deep breath. “Look, there’s nothing going on. You’ve spent way too much time at the D.E.O., and it’s made you completely paranoid!” Kara waved her hands erratically as she continued rambling. “And I don’t appreciate you trying to use your…your secret-agenty interrogation moves on me. ‘Cause let me tell you something missy…you…you have no idea what you’re talking about. I am a strong…uh…empowered woman…who…who is perfectly comfortable with her…uh…nakedness.” Kara pointed at Alex. “Yeah, I think your just jealous because I’m so comfortable with my body that you…uh…you just get crazy ideas in that head of yours and frankly I think it’s unbecoming of someone who has a teenage daughter to set such a terrible example with all the…jealousy…and…and…”.

The sound of the toilet in Kara’s bathroom flushing echoed through the apartment with the subtlety of a shotgun blast. Both sisters turned to looked in the direction of the bathroom. Both turned back towards each other with vastly different looks painted across their faces; Alex a knowing/shit-eating grin and Kara grimacing like she’d just been punched in the gut by a Czarnian.

“Paranoid, huh?” Alex said with an exaggerated tilt of her head. “So, who is he?”

Kara smiled sheepishly and decided that studying the floor was preferable to making eye contact with her sister.

Alex picked up one of the large coffees from the drink tray and took a sip. She let out a contented sigh and calmly asked, “Is it that cute friend of Nia’s that I saw you talking to at the wedding?”

 Kara, who had clearly decided her best course of action was to shove a donut in her mouth, looked at Alex like her sister had sprouted a second head. “Fho?” Kara asked around a mouthful of donut.

Alex mocked, “I shouldn’t be surprised you don’t remember him; he was seriously hitting on you.” Alex shook her head. “Fucking Captain Oblivious over here,” she mumbled to herself.

Kara swallowed her donut and was cut off by the redhead before she could retort. “Is it that Korugarian you met at Al’s the other night?”

A stream of water flowing out of the bathroom sink could now be heard through the kitchen wall; a few intermittent splashes signaling breaking through the steady stream.

Kara looked towards the bathroom nervously. She then turned her attention to the drink carrier and removed the large cup marked “KARA” on the side before meeting Alex’s unyielding stare.

“No, he was asking me if Brainy was single,” Kara said impatiently.

Alex nodded, a look of intense consideration washing over her face before an almost comical look of terror replaced it. “Kara, please tell me Mon-El didn’t come back from the future again.” She grabbed Kara by the shoulders. “Look, I know you still love him, but honey, he’s married, and being a homewrecker is not a good look for you, and remember the whole ‘prude’ comment, and…”.

Kara looked at the eldest Danvers in complete contempt and promptly cut her off, “Oh, fuck no! Even if he showed up right now and told me he divorced Imra and said he wanted to get back together, I would tell him to go to hell.”

Alex released Kara and took a step back, clearly shocked by her sister’s vulgar outburst. “Okay, so definitely not Mon-El,” the redhead cautiously mumbled.

A drawer shutting in Kara’s room broke Alex’s questioning. The redhead looked towards the curtain briefly and back at the Kryptonian who was now taking a long swig of her coffee. “C’mon Kara, who’s back there?” Alex gently implored.

Kara chewed her bottom lip nervously before huffing out a sigh of defeat. But before she could respond, she heard the curtain slide open and shut behind her and watched as Alex in quick succession stop breathing and her face contort into a look of shock.

Kara turned to see Lena standing by the open curtain still dressed in her form-hugging pajama top but had added a pair of sleep shorts for the sake of propriety.  Her makeup-less face was adorned with thick framed black glasses. Her hair hung loosely; not quite the disheveled mess Kara was sporting earlier but certainly a downgrade from the CEO’s usual opulent perfection. Yet she stood tall and practically oozed that one-of-a-kind Luthor confidence that had brought lesser men to their knees.

Kara shot a warm smile at the green-eyed beauty standing before her and mouthed a silent ‘I’m sorry’. Lena smirked and subtly winked at the Kryptonian. She padded toward the sisters with a hint of swagger in her step; stopping next to Kara and leaning down to plant a chaste kiss to the corner of the seated Kryptonian’s mouth.

“Good morning, darling,” the brunette practically purred.

A punch-drunk look overtook Kara’s features as she smiled lovingly in return. “G’morning, zhaote.” The hero grabbed the CEO’s wrist and pulled her in for another kiss, this time directly on the lips.

The two were broken out of their PDA session by a muffled squeak originating from Alex. They exchanged brief smiles before turning to face the frozen in place redhead. Lena righted her posture and walked over to the kitchen cabinet; bidding Alex ‘good morning’ as she passed her. Alex, clearly having gone non-verbal, could only respond with a nod. Her gaze turning as she continued to watch the brunette walk over to the cabinet, the redhead slowly drifted toward the kitchen until she softly bumped into one of the barstools surrounding the kitchen island. Lena retrieved a porcelain coffee mug and moved to stand opposite Alex. Lena studied her for a moment before motioning towards the redhead’s coffee cup. “You still take yours black, right?”

The question seemed to bring Alex back to reality. She blinked her eyes rapidly and shook her head as if she was trying to reset her brain. “Uh, yeah.”

“May I?” Lena held out her hand for Alex’s drink. She nodded and handed the cup to the CEO who then held both the empty mug and the disposable cup side-by-side at chest level and whispered, “Effingo.” The mug slowly filled with steaming coffee, stopping half an inch under the brim. Alex watched the spell unfold with an impressed look on her face, closely mirrored by Kara’s effervescent look of complete pride upon seeing the brunette’s casual use of her powers.

Lena handed Alex’s cup back to her with a gracious nod and took the seat next to Kara at the dinner table. Lena scooted her chair closer to Kara to the point that their shoulders and thighs were rubbing together. Lena intermittently sipped from her coffee mug (a contented hum escaping her lips during the first few sips) and wrapped her arm around the hero, lazily carding her fingers through golden tresses. The two exchanged happy glances, neither able to hide their giddy mood.

For her part, Alex remained leaned up against the kitchen island practically staring at the Kryptonian and the CEO; her face running through what appeared to be a gamut of emotions. The redhead slowly sipped her coffee as she studied the couple; her pinched lips slowly morphed into a warm grin after each sip. Lena spared a glance in Alex’s direction and gave her a questioning look (signature eyebrow raise included) and titled her head in challenge. Alex’s grin shifted into a full-fledged smile in response to the brunette’s silent prompting. The staring contest dragged on for another minute or two. Alex looked as if she was on the verge of saying something, but Lena’s patience wore out and the redhead was cut off before she had a chance.

“So, Alex, as much as I dislike eavesdropping on other peoples’ conversations,” Lena paused for a moment as a thought seemed to strike her, “Actually, now that I think about it, I rather enjoy eavesdropping.” Lena nodded, clearly agreeing with herself. “But I digress. If neither of you mind, I’d like to add my two cents about a topic you were discussing earlier.”

She received nods from both noticeably intrigued sisters. Lena fixed her gaze back towards Alex before saying, “Regarding Mon-El’s comments about Kara’s prudish nature, as I scientist, I feel I must refute his findings. If last night was any indication, your sister is incredibly outgoing, dare I say enthusiastic when it comes to activities of an intimate nature.” Lena paused long enough to get a look at the Danvers girls. Kara was covered in a full-on blush and a nervous smile adorned her face while Alex had turned pale-white and, for reasons unknown to all gathered, began gulping down her coffee as if it was her favorite brand of scotch. “Honestly, I posit that the crown-douche of Daxam was either too inexperienced or inept achieve his desired result.” Lena scrunched her nose. “My money’s on the latter.” Lena let that set in for a moment; an insatiable grin flitted across her lips. “No, I think poor Mon-El couldn’t provide Kara with the proper…stimulation.”

Alex erupted into a full coughing fit. Her hands quickly went to her face in a futile attempt to staunch the coffee erupting from her mouth and nose; the remains of her cup becoming collateral damage as it fell to the floor. The redhead quickly turned and lunged for the kitchen sink, spitting out the meager amount of dark liquid that had miraculously remained contained by her mouth. The last vestiges of coffee expelled from her lungs; Alex began a retching/dry-heaving duet that had her body halfway into the sink.

Kara, her sister’s hacking seeming to have no effect on her, focused her red face towards Lena and leveled her with a sense of shock and awe painting her features. Lena, calm, collected, Lena, met the hero’s eyes head on. Her face was encompassed in a look of devilish delight. Kara wrapped her arm around the brunette and pulled her close enough to whisper in her ear. “You’re terrible.”

Lena pulled back, a look of mock shame on her face which quickly melted into a devious smirk when she saw the Kryptonian wearing a similar grin. Lena pulled Kara closer and whispered in her ear, “She had it coming. No one grills my girl like that.”

Kara thickly swallowed before playfully responding with barely contained enthusiasm, “My girl?”

Lena cupped Kara’s cheek before moving a few errant hairs from her face behind her ear; her smile radiated with tenderness. “You’re damn right.” The CEO slowly leaned in and pressed a kiss to the smiling Kryptonian’s lips.

With the three women occupied, no one noticed Sam and Ruby enter the loft.

“Sorry we took so long. Who’s dying in here? I could hear all the coughing from the lob…”

Sam stopped short as she took in the scene currently unfolding in the loft. Her wife was halfway in the kitchen sink, by all appearances throwing up, and her oldest friend and her sister-in-law were kissing in a very non-platonic way. Sufficed to say, she was stunned into silence.

Kara and Lena broke their kiss after registering Sam and Ruby’s presence. (impressively, they only made out for an additional 90 seconds after hearing Sam’s voice).

Alex managed to remove herself from the sink. She turned on the faucet, splashed some water on her face, shakily fumbled for the roll of paper towels sitting on the counter, and once she was able to get a couple sheets detached from the roll, began to pat her face dry. After drying her face, she looked up and through tear-stained eyes saw her wife doing her best imitation of a goldfish and her adopted daughter studying her aunts intently.

The room remained eerily quiet save for the occasional smattering of sniffles and light coughs from Alex as she tried to get her breathing back to normal. Kara and Lena sat impassively at the kitchen table splitting their focus evenly amongst the three women. Lena rubbed slow circles on Kara’s back while the blonde lightly stroked the CEO’s thigh.  Sam and Ruby continued to focus all their attention on the couple while Alex was focused on patting dry her shirt with a handful of paper towels.

Ruby broke the silence.

“About fucking time.” The comment directed at her aunts was paired nicely with an eyeroll.

“Ruby Julietta Danvers!” Alex sternly pointed at the teen. “NOT, okay.”

Ruby shot each of her mothers a look of disbelief and scoffed, “Oh c’mon! You’re both thinking it!”

Sam turned to face her daughter. “Hey, Mama’s right. No F-bombs, please.” Ruby started to protest but Sam raised a hand to cut her off. “Don’t even start. I know, you’re seventeen and everyone at school says that and worse. Just, please, let me and Mama live in our fantasy that you’re still a little girl just a bit longer.”

Ruby stood down with a huff. Sam focused her attention on Kara and Lena, a hint of a grin on her face. “But she is right, it’s about fucking time.”

Ruby grumbled at her mother’s apparent double-standard while the couple responded to it with beaming smiles.

“So, are you two like…girlfriends now?” Ruby asked, trying to sound indifferent.

Kara opened her mouth but quickly shut it, instead turning towards Lena with a questioning look on her face. “Are we?”

Lena seemed to consider the blonde’s question for a moment, going so far as to sardonically tap her finger against her lips. A tender grin slowly spread across her lips. “I certainly hope so.”

Kara turned her attention back to Ruby with an exaggerated flourish and, with a smile brighter than the sun replied, “Yes, yes we are.”

“Cool.” Ruby shrugged and took a seat at the dining table opposite her aunts. Her mothers exchanged excited smiles before taking up two open chairs on the other end of the table. Plates, food, and drinks were efficiently passed around the table and the quintet dug in. They spent the meal discussing Ruby’s upcoming driver’s test. Ruby telling everyone that she had the test “On lock”, but a quick look at the expressions on Sam’s and Alex’s faces told a different story. Sensing her mothers’ doubt, Ruby defiantly pointed out that the only reason she didn’t pass the previous tests was because she was forced to drive the Danvers’ minivan. Alex countered that it was the only vehicle they had outside of the redhead’s motorcycle, and she wasn’t allowed to use it per the DMV’s rules as it was (Truth be told, even if it was allowed for the test AND hell had frozen over, there was no way she would let the teen anywhere near her custom bike).

The food was quickly demolished by three Kryptonian appetites (and the two humans to a much lesser extent). Everyone was finishing up their last bites when the adults noticed a sour look on Ruby’s face. The teen was not-so-subtly sniffing the air and scrunching her nose. It was very clear that Ruby had caught a whiff of something that did not agree with her.

“Whatcha picking up there, Rubes? Does Kara have another rotting pizza under here bed?” Alex taunted her sister.

“That happened one time!” Kara looked at Lena pleadingly. “I’d only been on Earth a month. How was I supposed to know human food was so perishable?”

Everyone at the table quietly chuckled. Everyone but Ruby, who now looked like she was going to be sick. “It’s not food,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Well, what is it?” Alex asked with a concerned tone.

Ruby locked eyes with Sam and gave her a sideways look. “Seriously mom, you can’t smell that?”

Sam lifted her nose into the air and inhaled. Instantly, a look of complete panic overcame her. She fired a warning glare at her daughter. “Rubes, don’t…”

“Oh, for god’s sake! It reeks like sex in here!” Ruby blurted out.

Reactions to Ruby’s outburst varied.

Kara buried her tomato-red face in her hands.

Alex had a look of complete horror on her face and went non-verbal for the second time that morning.

Sam squeezed her eyes shut and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Lena’s face turned as red as her girlfriend’s, albeit from laughing hysterically.

Ruby seemed completely oblivious to the reactions around the table and instead pressed her mother further, “How can you not smell that? I mean, I understand that Aunt Kara is completely nose-blind at this point, but mom…we both…you know…super-smell and all that.”

“Yes, honey, I can aware it, but I am tactful enough to not bring it up.” Sam said through clenched teeth as she started rubbing her temples and taking calming breaths.

As Lena’s laughter began to die down, Alex suddenly regained the ability to speak. “Wait, how the hell do you know what sex smells like?” The redhead glared at her teen daughter with outright terror.

Ruby stood and faced her mothers, leveling them with a look that clearly conveyed how much she was questioning their combined intelligence. “Duh, my room is right down the hall from you two. You think I haven’t gotten gassed out every time you two get it on?”

“But how would you know that’s from us having sex? We always turn on the sound dampeners.” Alex genuinely looked perplexed.

Ruby’s mouth gapped open; a look of disbelief stamped on her face. “Yeah, keyword ‘ALWAYS’! That’s the ONLY time you turn them on!”

Sam locked eyes with her wife. A look of realization slowly etched its way across their features. Lena descended into hysterical laughter again as she watched the mothers put the pieces together. Kara emerged from her cocoon of shame with a taunting smile on her face; barley able to contain her own laughter.

Alex abruptly clapped her hands together. “Okay! Time to go! Thanks for the food and the psychological trauma. I’m sure my therapist will be sending you a fruit basket as a thank you.”

“Why are you thanking them? We brought the food,” Ruby queried.

“Not important,” Alex said as she rose from her chair. “Let’s just get this mess cleaned up and we can…”

A blur of motion swept through the dining area and kitchen. Within seconds, the table was cleared, the dishes, mugs, and utensils washed and dried, and all the disposable items thrown in the trash.

“…go,” Alex said as a wisp of her windswept red hair settled on her face. She ran her hand through her hair to clear her face.

Kara, clearly the one responsible for the quick clean up, smiled expectantly at her sister. “Done!” Kara made the intentions clear when she began to usher the Danvers trio towards the door. While Ruby had already made her way to the door, Alex and Sam were forced to quickly grab their keys and purses.

Alex popped her head over Kara’s shoulder in a clumsy attempt to address Lena. “Luthor, you’ve got a shovel talk in your near future.”

 The brunette curtly nodded. “Duly noted.”

“And you,” Alex said while pointing at her sister. “Sisters’ Night. Next week. I want the whole story.” The blonde raised a questioning eyebrow. “Okay, maybe just the PG-13 version,” the redhead amended.

Kara smiled warmly and pulled her sister into a tight hug. Once the sisters broke off their embrace, Kara turned to Sam. “You gonna give me a shovel talk too?”

“Oh, that won’t be necessary. If you screw her over, I’ll be the last person you need to worry about,” Sam said as she nodded towards Lena.

Kara turned to face Lena; the brunette leveled a faux-evil smile at the blonde punctuated by a wag of her eyebrows. Kara turned back to Sam. “No doubt,” she chuckled out.

Goodbyes circulated amongst the group as the Danvers clan exited the loft. Kara went to close the door but was abruptly stopped by Alex poking her head back inside. “Hey, next time, maybe give me a heads up that you’re…otherwise engaged before I come over?”

“Maybe try knocking?” Kara replied without hesitating.

“Or a fucking phone call,” Lena coolly followed-up.

“Byyyeee,” Kara said as she gently pushed Alex’s head back through the door opening. The hero quickly shut and locked it once her sister was clear.

Kara turned and sagged against the door, releasing a deep sigh as she squeezed her eyes shut and massaged her temples. The ruffling sound of her “bedroom” curtain being drawn open grabbed her attention and she opened her eyes slowly, the sight of Lena standing next to the foot of her bed earned a scandalous grin from the blonde.

Lena responded with a playful grin in kind. “Well, that was certainly…”

“Wild?” Kara finished.

“I was going to say farcical, but wild works too.” Lena’s lips drift into a tight grin with her girlfriend sporting a similar look. Both share pained looks as they try to keep a tsunami from bursting from their mouths, faces turning red from the effort. It’s a losing battle. Laughter erupts from both women. The surreal absurdity of the last hour quickly bled away as the two laughed so hard they almost fell over. As the minutes pass, their raucous cackling changes to giggles which soon morph into whimpers as they both try to regain their breath. The couple slowly righted themselves and wiped the tears from their eyes.

“I don’t know about you, darling, but I’m famished,” Lena said with a glimmer in her eyes.

Kara looked at her confused. “But we just had breakfast?”

“Well, my girlfriend said she wanted breakfast in bed earlier,” Lena shrugged innocently. “And just thinking about it made me hungry too.” The CEO wet her lips; her fingers dancing playfully with the hem of her pajama top.

An involuntary shudder ran through Kara’s body. “Wouldn’t want to disappoint your girlfriend now, would we?” As if she was sizing her up for a meal, Kara’s eyes swept from Lena’s lips down to her long, pale legs.

“Shall we, Miss Zor-El?”

Kara streaked to Lena and had the brunette hoisted over her shoulder in less than a heartbeat. The brunette let out an excited yelp as the two tumbled gracelessly into bed.

[themisfitshistorian]

ESSAY NUMBER ONE: SIMON BELLAMY AND THE EXPANSION OF THE MISFITS UNIVERSE; WHAT YOU MAY NOT KNOW

Misfits, created by Howard Overman, aired its first episode on November 12th, 2009; what followed was a wild and unpredictable ride of a series, unlike anything that TV had ever seen before. With a cast of unique characters who get even more unique superpowers just minutes into the first episode, this show’s thirty-seven episode run would be unforgettable for most audiences. However, there is MUCH more to this series which lies below the surface.

If you’ve watched Misfits in its entirety, you may think you know everything there is to know about the series, but there is much more to be discovered. Below the surface, deep into the Misfits waters, you’ll find online shorts, long-forgotten vlogs interrupted by superheroes from the future, sinister confessions, deleted scenes within forgotten scripts, abandoned Twitter accounts, Flickr photography, and even evidence of lost media. A huge reason why I enjoy this show so much is because of how insanely deep its lore actually goes once you look past the original series. There’s an entire world of Misfits to be discovered, and in my first essay, I hope to introduce you to some of that content, provided by our beloved Simon Bellamy.

The in-character shorts uploaded online during the run of seasons one and two, shot from the perspective of the reclusive Simon, are more on the relatively well-known side of things. On YouTube, a search for “Misfits online films” brings up multiple playlists containing DVD-exclusive shorts recorded by Simon and various security cameras throughout the community centre. These shorts provide a small insight into what the characters’ lives are like outside of the episodes we know and love, and they serve to exist as sweet little extras for curious fans who just can’t get enough of the show. This isn’t all that Simon contributes when it comes to giving us the extras, though; in fact, many of these entries are directly tied to him and videos he’s made. For example, his YouTube channel contains his full tribute video to Nathan, and his Flickr account provides insights into his mind, as well as some images that casual fans may not have seen before. He also had a Twitter, as did the rest of the main cast! I find these accounts to be fascinating, as they provide a beautiful insight into what life is like for the characters outside of what we all saw on screen.

Another video of Simon’s includes a cameo from Superhoodie, who briefly interrupts his tribute to Nathan, along with a separate video, which I have yet to find again, in which Simon confesses to killing Sally in a rather sinister manner. I’ll update this post with more resources later; for now, I just wanted to appreciate Simon’s contribution to extending the Misfits universe.

Edit #1: Simon's confession can be found here! Big thanks to @merrilark for replying with the link, I don't think I would have been able to find it on my own :)

[ethantheannus]

So, update. I binged basically the entirety of Slugterra. I'm missing the Ascension stuff and one of the movies, but I've basically seen it all. ( I don't even remember the Ascension stuff. I'm assuming I stopped watching before it was y'kno, a thing. ) And oh my god. I completely forgot how?? Batsh*t this series gets?? Like. Ok. The premise itself is pretty wild. It's like Pokémon but the Pokémon are live ammunition and we are firing guns at each other--we are also hundreds of feet under the earth, also you can straight up just die. That, in of itself, is a pretty unhinged concept. What I wasn't expecting was for it to progress and get somehow even more unhinged. Like. I'm sorry. You're telling me. Essentially, hell is real? But it's like, Doom hell. And we have to fire guns loaded with our pets to fight them off. Also also. Shane's dad is alive, and he was just in hell the entire time. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention the evil slug? Yeah. The evil slug who possesses people. Can't forget that. The slugs are also really important but nobody treats them like they're important. Like. Guys. I get they're ammo. But they're also the core reason why Slugterra is still alive?? I guess?? And there's elemental slugs that every other slug is connected to?? I cannot believe I retained ANY of this. This isn't even half, pretty sure. I was watching it while hella sleep deprived ( I was at the point where I was blurting things out that didn't make sense, I should've stopped and just slept but it was like I was entranced. ). I definitely missed something, but oh my god. How did I forget how... how WILD this series was!?

The best part of me watching it was when the part of me that likes spec-bio started trying to figure out how the slugs turn larger when under a high velocity. Like I said, I was hella sleep deprived.

its legitimately bonkers man. theres a whole like. mini-movie about eli BEING POSESSED??? AND THEN THE EASTERN CAVERNS HAVE MULTIPLE PEOPLE WHO'VE BEEN POSESSED??? like my brother in christ.

the whole mall episode too with saturday. where hes zombifying people. thats HORRIFYING. why is there a slug that can DO THAT. not to mention the implications of ghouling??? and how horrific that is???

slugterra is batshit in everything it does, it fucking rules.

[dudeyuri]

ah the feel-good, snoozefest, milquetoast ending i feared and expected.... in both its highest points and its lowest points ONLY FRIENDS was a case against fixed pairings

i skipped forward all of the topmew scenes in this one again, so this episode was probably a cool 30 mins for me. i’m preaching to the choir i know but they were SUCH a glaring weak point in this show. to the point of unwatchability. they did top so dirty, man. you can’t root for a character who’s just so…cardboard. you can’t even love to hate him. did he have a meaningful conversation with anyone other than mew in the entirety of the series? top was underdeveloped, mew was kind of a drag (revenge era notwithstanding). the tension there was just not giving.

a lot of their post-ep2 relationship development was to build up to mew’s devastation, and to wink-nudge at the audience. any topmew tension before the reveal came from us knowing what top and boston did, while an oblivious mew just thought top was checking all his boxes. removed from the context of the secret, they just went on a series of boring dates, lol. and then we were back at square one with top trying to prove himself to mew--this time without the tension of the big secret. naturally it fell so flat. and goddamn did they give these two a whole lot of screentime. who enjoyed this? did force//book fans even enjoy this? (unless any of their scenes in the last two episodes were somehow good because. lol. i did not watch them)

nick going back on his “i love you the way you are, you don’t have to change” in the eleventh hour SUCKED majorly. seeing boston grovel SUCKED even more like REAL BAD. one big happy friend group, right where they started, sucked. and boston being left alone in the end like that was not fun for me

he was rebuffed during the new years kiss. he was allowed no rebuttal after nick insisted that he would be happier alone, when boston had just said he can have feelings for nick and simultaneously want to sleep with others. yeah his communication skills left something to be desired, but you really could make the case that this is because the boundaries he DOES set are constantly crossed by others--so why should he bother even setting them? idk his ending did feel kinda punitive, i agree with a lot of what i’ve seen, but it also felt just unresolved. what was the point of his last fling with nick?

idk they should have let bostonnick be “nasty” (big quote unquote here) together. boston is still endlessly interesting to me i will probably have more today on this. forever my favorite only friend, forever that girl

at least we have sandray. the bi4bi sandray mutual crush on keira knightly was the episode highlight for me because yeahhhh, same (episode highlight, aside from the almost-threesome in the pool. and sand owning his status as DOG. and first kissing force). as @jolselin said. time and again firstkhao really outsold. the only friends tagline: firstkhao outsold. forget everything i said about fixed pairings

and the mix cameo…i should’ve dropped my “here’s how mix in only friends can still win” post yesterday. know i screamed. and boeing, gone as suddenly as he arrived, was a lot of fun. it’s greedy but i would’ve appreciated just an inkling of what his deal was. and i also wish this show leaned into its absurdity a little more. 

okay a harsh review and thumbs down for the last episode. but if there’s a second season or spin-off I will ABSOLUTELY watch. this shit was so hysterical and fun and wild and sexy. this was my best friend’s first BL and we basically spent a full hour every saturday cry-laugh-yelling “what the fuck” at the screen. from the baffling music cues to the ubiquitous bubblegum pink lip tints, and with the exception of topmew, it was such a blast. thank u jojo et al