#the entire gang has an issue placing blame on themselves but to not even be able to conceive of dennis being hurt by them is. telling Tumblr posts
dennisboobs · 9 months ago
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ok at the point now where looking at an image of dennis makes me want to smash my head through a wall
#ada speaks#idk how ppl exist in this fandom who don't feel bad for him tbh#which is the last thing den wants bc being perceived as weak and pitiable is devastating to him but#chasing this mfer down to give him a hug#he is so. fucked up. he has been fucked up by every adult in his life.#i think the fandom perceives him as this spoiled rich kid who had it better than most of the gang but the reality is#he was failed just like the rest of them and it's almost worse because he doesn't – and almost CAN'T – recognize this#letting the protective ego-boosting and boasting drop leads to him having to confront SO much baggage and i don't think he is mentally able#i think he DOES know deep down that everything is a lie and he has been hurt because we see that self awareness in ptsdee and tends bar#but his relationship with everyone in the gang is so strained that i don't think he would be able to have a moment like charlie did in s15#even in tends bar there's a moment where they all recognize something is going on with him but immediately place him at the center#because he's the problem with him. anything done to him is his fault. it's not only something he reinforces. the gang does too#this must be because *dennis* has no feelings and he hates valentines day because everyone else is unlike him which makes *him* mad#the entire gang has an issue placing blame on themselves but to not even be able to conceive of dennis being hurt by them is. telling#because he's inhuman to them. it's how he's propped himself up and yet simultaneously hopes that they will see through that act#the way he reworks things in his mind so that everything is a consequence of his grand plan#means that he is always at fault regardless of whether he brushes the blame off#so he is not a *victim* of anyone else. because this was all under his control. he wasn't raped because he was initiating it.#klinsky was His Conquest. he was fourteen and she was in her fifties but he forced himself on her so that makes it His Fault.#it was a two way road. he's fourteen. and he 'entered' her. he's fourteen. but she was uncomfortable with his advances. but he was fourteen#cw csa mention
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madqueenalanna · 2 years ago
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i just read sharp objects and i want to talk about it but like where to even START
in the back of my mind i am percolating a comparison between gillian flynn and vc andrews, which might not make sense to anyone but me. the generational trauma, the behind-closed-doors horror, the power in sexuality. vc andrews wrote about the unique, indescribable rage experienced by teenage girls exploring their bodies and sexuality in a deeply patriarchal society; gillian flynn writes about women in their 30s, those abused and angry girls all grown up and dangerous. both an exploration of a facet of women's inner lives that feels very difficult to explain and which is rarely explored in other media
anyway wow the generational trauma. joya abused adora, who became a teen mother and abused all three of her daughters. when amma was born, camille was about the same age that adora was when camille was born, and there's this weird sister-child-friend-enemy dynamic camille has with amma. none of them ever learned how to love each other, or themselves. camille turned her anger inward and destroyed her body; adora poisoned marian her whole life and finally killed her; amma mutilated the bodies of her classmates for her dollhouse. what the fuck is even going ON with these people
i still need to read dark places but between gone girl and sharp objects, i am fascinated by gillian flynn's take on these adult women's sexuality. amy does not seem to enjoy sex much at all except for the power it gives her over men; she thinks derisively about nick's desire, desi's, the appeal of girls like andie; she (and camille) talks about sex in kind of a clinical, detached way, the smell, the stickiness, this very open and raw but entirely un-sexy way. camille blames herself for being gang-raped at fourteen while drunk, but locks her various traumas so deep that even thinking about the event sounds like she's talking about someone else (and to willis, she is). sex is power and control, it's about using other people by letting them use you. it's gross. it's intimate. as someone with some... issues around sex, myself, i could see why it would rub people the wrong way but i found it oddly refreshing, in the way i find gallows humor to be funny
gillian flynn said in an ama that she wrote sharp objects as an exploration of female generational violence, a subject considerably less explored than male cyclical violence (no one is writing the all-woman atreus house, for example). her protagonists are ruthless, crass, secretive, kind of cold, unflinching in the face of monstrosity. amy notices that nick's hands still smell like andie after a hookup and thinks "she must have one rank pussy"; camille carves the word "clit" on herself and only later changes it to "cAt". vulnerability might exist for them, but it's buried so far down that even first-person narration can barely touch it
i feel like it's rare to see female protagonists like these that aren't given much justification or redemption and that aren't... i don't know, given masculine traits? like how in movies, women only know about cars bc they have five brothers, and they prove they're "cool" by having lots of sex, drinking heavily, always being "game" i mean god i'm so sick of it all. run cool_girl_monologue.exe. the violence that women do to each other and themselves can be horrific on its own. i don't think you could gender-swap these stories and change nothing else, they're about WOMEN
anyway gone girl was already one of my favorite books and sharp objects was unreal good, i need to watch the miniseries and read dark places
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izzydizzy13 · 5 months ago
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ok real talk for a second
how are we avoiding AI gang?
Like, I see a lot of people quitting Instagram bc of their policy to feed art to the Meta AI, and I agree that it is not Cash Money of them to do that... but I am also not entirely sure how it changes anything, because doesn't literally *every* website populate Google? If so, doesn't Google's AI take that anyway, as well as any image AI that uses Google as a database? so most of them, from what I can tell...
Am I fundamentally misunderstanding how this works? I ask because most of the art I have seen here recently hasn't been glazed as far as I can tell visually, and while Tumblr isn't feeding images straight to AI the same way Instagram is, I am still worried for y'all. I kind of hope I AM just confused, because it would be fantastic to have places where I could upload unglazed works in their pure, unswirly form. I just thought I could Glaze my future works and upload them wherever I would usually upload, including Instagram because, well, their AI isn't any better at reading it than Dal-E as far as I'm aware. It is gonna be quite annoying though, because it takes upwards of an hour to glaze something to the Default strength, and I like uploading silly little doodles that only took like 5 minutes in and of themselves lol, so I'll have to be more picky about what I post...
Anyways, I am gonna start using Glaze on my art at the minimum, I tested it with an older work and it's not very noticeable. I'll drop the glazed piece here for anyone who has been curious about how it would affect their art visually and been too scared to try using it
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the grass looks bad because of me, that's my fault for not knowing how to draw grass. The Glaze is that swirly triangular pattern that is most noticeable in the exact middle of the image, on the shorts and leg. It is virtually invisible on the face, which is the part I care most about anyway. So, while yes it would be an annoying affect if it were something really aggressively well-rendered, I've got very few issues with it for my more cartoony art style. It's the default amount of glaze, so not the highest tier of protection possible but enough.
I didn't really care about AI theft when it was still in its infancy, I still don't think it's the end of the world or anything like that, people enjoy art for the personal connection it has with its artist, and I like to think AI will never fully replicate that... not to mention that all of these AIs are in for a legal nightmare once someone sues for copyright infringement ... but, with how high quality the images are becoming and how thoroughly integrated it is into many of our browsers and websites, I still don't wish to help it any further if at all possible.
For anyone who wants to utilize this anti-AI Glaze, here's the link to downloads for Glaze
There is a browser version as well, though it requires an invite (automatically granted to anyone who doesn't use AI via email) I haven't tried that one yet, my computer is thankfully able to run the desktop version so I've had no need to get an invite.
If this is the first you're hearing about Glaze, I should also mention that there is a thing called Nightshade on this very same website. It does a very similar thing to Glaze, except for that it also gives AI models incorrect information when fed to it that, through a bunch of technical stuff that I don't understand, actually makes the AI worse than it was before. I've decided to just use the regular Glaze since, personally, my goal isn't to screw over the devs who made the AI, even if it's something I disagree with. I just don't want my work utilized, so I will Glaze it and move on. I can't really blame anyone who uses Nightshade though, just explaining why I don't.
I was also wondering if any of y'all have a contingency plan in the case of AI developing to the point where Glaze doesn't work anymore... like are we just gonna have to delete everything from the last however long we've been glazing or what? yike
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felteverywhere · 2 years ago
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here’s a plot wishlist of things i’m thinking about lately but would prefer to plot than write opens for. i’d also prefer to plot on discord but it’s not entirely necessary since obviously i’ll be writing on this account. some of them are kind of variations of the same thing but i think it makes it clear what kind of stuff i really love lmao. if you like this i’ll im you, but even if you like a lot of them it would be amazing if you could whittle it down to 2-3 tops. reblogging and messaging people when i’m online in the morning!
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hot & heavy by lucy dacus inspired — the angst of your first love, homoerotic teenage best friend angst coming back to haunt you, bitterness and nostalgia mingling in the worst way, you hate her and you still love her after all this time. optional: period piece (70s, 80s, 90s, early 00s), a dead friend dragging them back to town, one of them is still closeted. 
fear street inspired — small towns where dark, horrible things have happened and keep happening but not everyone can afford to clear out, young people taking on a legacy of evil in the name of love, the truth of the past being unearthed, the loss along the way. optional: period piece (90s), we can run with something similar to fear street in terms of why the killers exist or come up with our own thing. 
college sleuths — a body found in a classroom or maybe an old unsolved mystery, a small campus cradled by woods and hidden from the world, a desperate need to uncover what everyone else wants to cover up, a righteousness or maybe an obligation to the dead, an eventual game of cat and mouse as they creep closer to the truth. optional: literally everything i listed can be tweaked, i just love the idea of a pair of people (even reluctantly) solving a murder. 
scooby doo inspired, college cryptid/supernatural hunters  — they’re the only ones who believe and maybe that’s okay, could be a mumu/could utilise npc characters if we’d like a group. optional: more of a buffy style scooby gang who are solving problems/include creatures in it. 
dark academia, the secret history inspired  — 
zombie apocalypse romance... with a twist on top of that — what’s more romantic than finding your soulmate at the end of the world? well, i guess if she’s also an unhinged person who will murder humans too, if they cross her. finding out she killed her last s/o somehow doesn’t phase you. basically: muse a has met someone after so long alone but muse b is a little crazy and they get into shenanigans. 
thoroughbreds inspired — unsettling girls forming a strange bond in rekindling a childhood friendship, uncomfortable step fathers, murder as a tool to solve problems rather than a ghastly act, taking blame as a romantic gesture. gifset for fun inspo. 
a return to the hurt/comfort fanfic tag. i’d like to explore deeper things while also dealing with the relationship between two characters. optionally but not limited to: grief, abuse (tentatively and with discussion about parameters), child custody issues, divorce, etc. 
this post but like no really, let’s write it. 
people who believe they are impossible to love pushing away the one who is demanding that they let them in!!!! not strong enough by boygenius vibes also 
an affair happening in a position of power, in a place it absolutely shouldn’t, where everything could turn to crap if they gave in but... they really can’t help themselves. people who are slaves to their own feelings no matter how toxic they are with one another. bad people being so passionately and deeply in love that it destroys everything. oh also this. 
still would kick things over for a normal people plot. i’ll never be over it!! never!! gifset for visual. shame and regret almost overpowering love but not quite, hurting each other, miscommunication, all the things. “i'm not a religious person but i do sometimes think god made you for me.” it should be illegal for someone to say that but jeez i am obsessed with it. 
someone truly deranged and evil and bloodthirsty and the only one who can stop them, but also the only one who can understand them. the only one who knows them. the only one who loves them? ah?
figure skating partners for carling i beg on my knees. fc optional i honestly might change her regardless. 
more song inspo without long winded thoughts: reckless driving by lizzy mcalpine, taken by muna, holding back/crowded places/waiting game by banks, forever winter/tis the damn season/cowboy like me by taylor swift but also really any taylor swift song. 
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czechforrain · 4 years ago
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Critical Role Episode 103: Are the Mighty Nein Gutless Cowards? The differences between them and the more Brash Vox Machina.
So we have just came off another episode where the mighty nein spent a lot of time deliberating and possibly trying to delay their fight with Vokodo. Trying to stack the deck as much as possible and get 3 tribal guardians, a few werebears and even a lesser diety to fight alongside them while also finding out if there was any weaknesses or exploitable backsides to this supposed god. 
And of course this leads to the same recurring topics being brought up again.
“The mighty nein are cowards.”
“ They try to run away from fights whenever possible.”
“They underestimate the hell out of themselves.”
“They draw out conflicts as long as possible going over several plans instead of making decisive moves and sticking towards them.” 
And the common reasoning for their super cautious play-style is the death of Mollymauk Tealeaf. After Fjord, Jester and Yasha got captured by the Iron Shepards, the rest of the Mighty Nein set out to ambush the party and this ended in disaster. Matt gave them several hints that this battle would be a lot tougher than they first thought but everyone was 100% in on ambush and combined with some less than stellar tactical decisions and bad rolls, we had our first campaign death 26 Chapters into the campaign. 
And then again in Episode 69 we had the Mighty Nein defeat Obann but after he died, the laughing hand did a number on everybody and fjord almost died after being grabbed by the laughing hand and everyone was beat to complete crap. 
Now these factors absolutely play a part on team morale and it informs their decisions to be more careful but I’d argue the real difference between the campaign so far is stakes. More specifically the consequences of running and hiding vs standing and fighting. 
THE STAKES
In comparison to Vox Machina, the mighty nein are less traditional heroes. Since the start of the campaign they balanced a decent relationship with the Authorities and Power structures with being involved in illegal practices such as helping the knights of requital to elevate one of their leaders to public office, working for a crime boss, providing Vigilante Justice and later stealing a boat and becoming pirates. Then after starting their quest to save Nott’s Husband they switched that balancing act to a more traditional play both sides mentality. The only difference of course being that there endgame was altruistic. They wanted to stop a war and they had to convince each side that they wanted something mutually beneficial while not appearing too friendly to the other side. 
Compare this to Vox Machina’s Four Major Arcs
K’varn
Threat: The influence of an ancient artifact is starting to get closer to reaching the surface and if unchecked could lead to major problems for the city. 
Personal: Beloved NPC Allura Vysoren’s friend (at the time) has basically been taken captive and they need to save her before she dies and she won’t go back until her dream quest journey is complete. 
Briarwoods
Threat: The Briarwoods sent gaseous assassins to kill their hostage chauffeur revealing that their influence could still reach the M9.  King Uriel had placed them under house arrest / city arrest while under investigation and their freedom was curtailed until they remove the charm on him by presumably killing the briarwoods.
Personal: The villains killed Percy’s family and took control of is city and home. Percy’s family is hinted to be alive in some manner and the reputation of the team is tarnished.
Chroma Conclave
Threat: Four Ancient Dragons controlling the continent of Tal’dorei and crushing anyone who would dare to threaten their newly seized dominion. Their current home is in the backyard of the leader of this conclave and their friend’s newly liberated hometown is also under threat. 
Personal: The head of the villains killed Vax and Vex’s parents. Tiberious was later killed by the threat and the instrumental figure in crafting the alliance betrayed and caused the death of many of the Fire Ashari.
Vecna
Threat: An old mage from the days of the age of Arcanum is planning to complete a seeding ritual to make himself a god and take over the world. 
Personal: Scanlan implores them that this is a very important quest and essentially returns for this reason. Lady Briarwood is serving the Whispered one which puts all of VM at unease. Vecna personally disintegrates one of Vox Machina. 
These arcs, along with Keyleth’s overall quest being something that she had to face despite her constant self doubts and idealism anxiety, were stuff that Vox Machina couldn’t run from. They couldn’t ignore the issues because the threats were present, personal and there were negative consequences to ignoring the call to action. 
Now compare that to the Mighty Nein who exist in a grayer campaign where the right path isn’t always easily identifiable and every action might have negative and positive consequences. 
And paralleling their journey it’s easy to see the differences.
Episodes 1-33
Episode 1-4 had them as complete strangers mainly fighting Kyrie, the devil toad to prove their innocence after the circus gets blamed for the results of the show. Then they take a job to rescue missing townsfolk from gnollish marauders. Once they arrive in Zadash, they sympathize with the Knights of Requital who desperately wants to replace High-Richter Prucine with their leader Dolan and they offer to help for some coin but the entire plan was supposed to be a series of heists, only turning violent when said the High-Richter returned and Ulog in a moment of rage killed himself and her in one go. 
They then end up whilst trying to get heat off themselves for the murder working for the gentleman who gives them tasks which he promises a healthy amount of coin for that mainly involve getting rid of monsters that are getting in the way of his business and also removing a gang / providing safe passage for one of his associates. Then unexpectedly Molly dies, and the group mentions running would be the smart thing to do but because Fjord, Jester and Yasha are still enslaved the group presses on with a strong resolve to save their missing comrades and avenge molly. 
Episodes 34-49
After this they take a trip to Jester’s hometown and they help her mom out by attacking and mutilating a customer of hers who is acting abusive and controlling in regards to his companionship with her. They end up stealing a boat because they’re not sure how to explain what happened to the guards because they essentially got into a fight for no reason. 
They sail around on fjord’s quest with Avantika for a while despite being quite unnerved by her fanaticism and her end goal to free Uka’Toa. They try to get dirt on her in which to frame her and succeed but her companion has locate object and just before the mighty nein are exposed Caleb recognizes this is a crucial moment and launches the first attack. 
They do run against a young blue dragon but it’s a situation where they all don’t have any need to beat the blue dragon and are just trying to get out. But regardless this is the first winnable encounter they actually end up running from.
Now it’s not unusual up until this point but so far most of their encounters have been quests, stuff that they are paid to get rid of, they’re told about this thing and they kill it for the most part. They’ve felt pretty generally confident about whatever springs up
Episodes 50-87
Now once we get into the Angel’s Irons section things start to change. They go into Xhorhas close up the portal and retrieve evidence to earn a favor from the bright queen before that turns into them being closely watched heroes. They smartly negotiate a truce with the giants instead of wiping them out as they were originally paid to do and free their home of the demonic incursions. They fight Obann the first time and chase after him as they try to get to the bottom of this portals business and eventually things end in heartbreaking failure. 
This kicks off to the Ancient White Dragon Iceflex heist. In this situation them not running would be catastrophic and  it’s completely understandable that they ran. However this episode did get some criticism because they had a long repeating running gag with Yeti’s undercover business that led to about an hour of planning and really slowed down the pace. 
Then a few episodes later they scry on yasha and receive knowledge that she is going to the Lotusden Greenwood to find the heart of the inevitable end. After a stroke of luck with charm person where they take the hand out of the situation they sneak up on Obann and fail at stopping him with Nott’s mage hand. This reluctance to fight here seemed a bit off to people because they already killed Obann but it’s understandable if they didnt want to engage directly though this could be classified as a winnable fight if they played their cards right. There was a hostile tree but incite greed kind of removed it from the fight vs Obann.
We then go to the Happy Fun Ball where a Golem like entity essentially hunts them through many rooms until they get to a point where they can no longer run from it and use machinery in the workshop to help destroy the thing. They probably could have kept running but the continuance of this threat eventually got them so annoyed that they chose to fight it then and there. 
Then we get the whole round 3 vs Obann where to save Yasha, there is no way that they can run away from this fight. When the fight in the cathedral ended, even if the MIX felt fine leaving him alone, Nott got charmed into following them beneath to act as a vessel to break the seal. That and obviously they wanted to give this creep who messed with Yasha what was coming to him and prevent his shenanigans from returning to cause them trouble. 
Episodes 88+
The cupcake moment was brilliant and an excellent subversion of a Hag Fight. Jester bet on herself and for the time being it worked out masterfully giving Veth a free out of her curse. 
Similiarly with Caduceus’ Family they couldn’t just leave the gorgon roam free and not revive his family when they had the chance so they stood their ground and fought it. 
Contrast this with the Dragon Turtle encounter where it’s a threat to them sure but they’re under no obligation to defeat it. Why fight for no good reason and risk death when you can just turn it into a sea slug and bounce?
Why fight Vokodo now when they can greater restoration each other and bring more allies and possibly even the traveler himself to their side? 
The main reason why the Mighty Nein have constantly ran from encounters is that there hasn’t been enough reason for them to stay and fight. When there is a reason they are pretty cautious to not go in under-prepared and thus have moments where they over plan. 
A possible problem that can come from this risk averse approach though just made itself clear in this last episode though. There ship was destroyed because they didn’t defeat the turtle or keep the ship hidden away or sailing where the turtle couldn’t reach it. 
Because they didn’t go straight at Vokodo, either the first time or at a later day from the jump where they had a solid plan they are gonna be down spell slots if they do indeed end up not reaching caduceus in time. If they do end up reaching him in time that might mean they have to burn even more spells and will have to try again some other time. Despite there existing some benefits to playing it safe, there are also negatives and I feel like Matt has been stressing that more and more lately
Vox Machina couldn’t afford to rest when it came to the Briarwoods or the Chroma Conclave and I think if the MIX were in a similiar situation they would also step u to the plate it’s just so far they’ve been generally fine with avoiding dangerous situations when possible but it looks like things may be changing in the future. And when people they care about or places they care about are threatened by such outside sources I think we’ll see a lot of the same gumption from the MIX as we did with Vox Machina. It’s just based on there start as a secret grungy kind of illegal group that preferred to stay out of the limelight and experiences with rushing into trouble that it’s taken them longer then Vox Machina to get to this place.
TLDR; I wouldnt say they are cowards but their experiences when combined with lower stakes if they bail out of fights means that unless they feel like they cannot run away due to personal connections or a sense of duty, they probably will run if the threat looks somewhat fierce. That has helped them some risks but it also can possibly lead to more in the future. But I do feel that the story is moving towards a place where they are gonna have reasons to stand firm and fight and become heroes in their own special way.
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Dark Side Of The Rising Sun Part 1
Yo what’s up!
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After the success of my previous post, I’ve decided to bring a follow up where I talk about the many dysfunctions and issues facing Japan that I’ve learned in my research. Detective Conan often shows the criminal justice system of Japan in a positive light while in reality it has many issues due to the culture.
Now let me make this clear: Japan has many great things about itself that should never be ignored. However, these are real flaws that have or need to be addressed with many Japanese also recognizing them as problems.
Now I had to split this into parts as this is rather ungainly to put it all at once. If you have any questions please ask and I’ll do my best to answer them.
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 Suicide
Japan has one of the highest suicide rates in the world with about 15.2 deaths per 100,000 people.
This is due to many factors such as Suicide not being considered a sin as well as historical connotations of it being a honorable way to go.
It is also considered a act of revenge, apology, and protest.
It is mostly caused today by factors such as unemployment, alienation and intense social pressure.
Japanese society is overall tolerant of Suicide but this is changing in recent times.
Another factor is the need for acceptance over individuality.
People with mental illness are often discriminated against, stopping potential help.
Internet Suicide Clubs where anonymous people make/plan suicide pacts and commit group suicide are a major issue.
If you kill yourself via Shinkansen, your family will be fined heavily. It is also the cause of half of the train delays and referred to as a human incident.
Tall buildings have mandatory suicide fences to prevent people from jumping off. When they succeed, they take off their shoes before hand.
It is common for suicidal people to take insurance policies and wait a year or two to go through with it so their families would be okay.
Ikka Shinju or family suicides are when the entire family kills themselves together due to Asian views of the family. When the parents kill their children before themselves, this is called Muri-Shinju or murder suicides.
Oyaku Shinju or parent-child suicide are where a single parent kill their children along with themselves.
Drownings, overdoses, hangings, and jumping off places are the most common form of suicide.
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Judiciary
Traditionally, the judge is hated more then the lawyer is in the west as the Judge is often viewed as a symbol of the Japanese nobility judging the common man.
If you are sent to trial, you are certain to be convicted regardless of innocence due to the countries 99% conviction rate. (Really makes Eri’s work more awesome and badass doesn’t it?)
The Japanese supreme court is one of the most conservative in the world, rarely ruling against issues that are blatantly unconstitutional and anti human rights. As a result, one of the more positive proposals for amendments of the Constitution is the creation of a separate Constitutional Court.
If you are sent to death row, you will never be told in advance when you are going to die.
Culturally, once arrested the person is automatically considered guilty.
Police are often reluctant to overturn convictions as they insist that only guilty are arrested and convicted.
The law when a child is considered criminally responsible is 14.
Judges are often pressured into making convictions as their careers are negatively affected by a not guilty verdict.
Prosecutors are given the choice not to pursue a case regardless of sufficient evidence.
Prisoners in Japan, while somewhat treated better then much of the world due to it’s focus on rehabilitation instead of punishment, have to follow strict military style regulations from minor things such as being forced to fold the bed, or to wash your face to more draconian measures such being beaten if you don’t march or sit the wrong way.
In turn, many have inadequate access to medical care as they don’t have many options for their healthcare.
It can take months or years before you are tried, meaning that a right to a speedy trial is completely nonexistent.
“Periods of reflection” where inmates are forced to be handcuffed, gagged and placed in solitary, are often not recorded by the warden.
Foreigners are forced to speak and write in Japanese.
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Drug Use
It is considered vastly socially unacceptable to do narcotics in Japan.
Most drug addicts are even considered to be not human.
If a celebrity is caught doing drugs, his career is automatically fucked and he is blacklisted from the industry, as well as erased from current projects.
The most commonly sold drug is methamphetamine. This started after World War II due to Meth being legal for soldiers to consume in order to stay up late on petrol as well as from occupying Americans. After the was, it became a huge epidemic for 12 years.
Marijuana use has risen among youth. Despite it having little danger as well as medicinal uses, it is widely considered evil, with the law having no tolerance.
Overall, Japan has little drug use compared to the rest of the world due to the cultural taboo and strict laws. However, there are signs that it is being vastly under counted,
Most illicit drugs are imported from Taiwan and South Korea due to it being near impossible to grow it natively but it is becoming increasingly hard to do so.
Drugs overdoses are criminally under diagnosed.
Epidemics often occur due to low periods of economic growth and recessions. (Examples include the postwar period, the 70′s, and the Lost Decade after the Bubble Economy burst in 1989)
It is common for your family or doctor to call the police once you admit there is a problem. Then you are forced to take a urine sample and if it tests positive you are immediately arrested.
A lot of doctors open pharmacies to add to their income. As a result, many oversubscribe prescription drugs.
Hypocritically, Alcoholism is completely tolerated and not treated as a addiction due to alcohol being considering purifying in Shinto, a cure, and Japan having a intense drinking culture.
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Child Abuse
For the most part, physical child abuse is considered a private issue and often ignored. While things are slowly getting better, Japan still has a long way to go. (Imagine if Kogoro did what he did to Conan in the west. Child services would be on him like a fly swatter.)
Child services often return the children to their parents even if they say their abusing them as the counseling centers need the parents to admit to their abuse.
It is a complete myth that Japan’s age of consent is 13. That is only the lowest one could set it. Most prefectures are set at 16 or higher. In turn, child molestation of those under 12 is heavily punished. However while vaginal rape of children is illegal, basically just about everything else as long as it’s statutory is basically alright.
Enjo Kosai or compensated dating is the practice of Teenage Girls to go on dates with older men in exchange for money and gifts. While not necessarily always leading to prostitution is treated as such and the girls are often blamed if they are hurt in the process.
Child sex trafficking of migrants is a serious issue and they are often treated as criminals and sent home without counseling.
Adoption of children is rare and frowned upon so many of them have to gro up in centers.
Children of unmarried couples are discriminated against due to the violation of the traditional Ie system and do not have the same protections or privileges of married couples because of its Koseki system.
Men are not obligated to pay child support and it’s near impossible to get them to legally as they can simply hide their finances by not telling them. Plus only one person can be named on the custody sheet.
Child Pornography was effectively decriminalized until 2014. No seriously.
Sexual Harassment/Assault
Domestic violence victims are disabused from coming forward due to the idea of bringing shame to their family.
Stalking cases are rarely taken seriously by the police
OH THERE”S WAY MORE BUT THIS LIST IS DARK ENOUGH SO LET”S SAVE THIS FOR A LATER DATE.
Working Conditions
Idols are heavily exploited and forced to follow strict rules such as having no social life, banned from having a boyfriend, etc. This is because they are supposed to sell a image of innocence and be there exclusively for their fans.
Anime creators are often forced to work long hours with little pay. This has resulted in a slump in the industry with very few new hires so they are forced to rely on the older animators whose health may fail sooner rather then later.
Funds are rarely given to films with artistic intent or that are political in nature, resulting the film industry suffering compared to the more internationally regarded South Korea.
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Police Corruption
Until recently, Japanese police would work with organized crime to lower crime. The only reason they stopped was not out of concern for the everyday citizen but because they were embarrassed by the Yakuza when they began to show up more publically.
The media is often laughably compliant to the police, with they rarely offering a critical lens.
Police have undue influence on the Pachiko industry, with many retired officers being hired as muscle and for advice.
It is quite common for officers to embezzle from their slush funds.
In a effort to cover up crime, police often refuse to investigate mysterious or suspicious deaths, preferring to label them as accidents or suicide.
Police are often anti migrant and sexist to a fault.
It is neigh impossible to get a wiretap going due to rigid privacy laws.
Even the police can’t fire weapons as you need approval to even loose your gun so many officers have never fired a bullet.
Government Incompetence/Corruption
Voter Apathy is super high, with many elections having hilariously low turnout.
Many politicians have Yakuza connections, with the gang members serving as bodyguards and canvassing for votes.
Votes in the countryside are worth two compared to urban ones.
A lot of politicians are completely out of touch and constantly have to resign for gaffes (racism, sexism, historical revisionism, etc.)
Political acts are based on group consensus so it can take a long time to get meaningful reform done.
Criticism and debate is ironically frowned upon, with open criticism within a party being effectively banned.
Cronyism is common. While for the most part Japanese politics is based on expertise, many politicians are awarded ministries based on their support for the leader.
The NHK (Japanese version of the BBC) is largely neutral and free but the current Japanese government can dictate what it is to focus on temporarily.
Press Clubs are often given exclusive access to interviews and information from the government, so they get biased preferential treatment.
Okay I guess the point of this list is to bring attention to these issues and expand the opportunities of where to go when it comes to dark DC fanfiction. Don’t worry, here’s a cute Conan to make you smile!
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newstfionline · 3 years ago
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Wednesday, September 29, 2021
FBI Data Show An Unprecedented Spike In Murders Nationwide In 2020 (NPR) The number of murders in the United States jumped by nearly 30% in 2020 compared to the previous year in the largest single-year increase ever recorded in the country, according to official FBI statistics released Monday. The data show 21,570 homicides in the U.S. in 2020, which is a staggering 4,901 more than in 2019. The tally makes clear—in concrete terms—just how violent last year was. The overall violent crime rate, which includes murder, assault, robbery and rape, inched up around 5%, while property crimes continued their long-running decline and dropped 8% from 2019. But the spike in murders jumps out in the FBI report because of the sheer scale of the change. Jeff Asher, a data consultant who studies crime rates, said the increase is the largest since national records began being kept in 1960s. The homicide rate thus far in 2021 is up 10% from last year.
Haitians returning to a homeland that’s far from welcoming (AP) Deported from the United States, Pierre Charles landed a week ago in Port-au-Prince, a capital more dangerous and dystopian than the one he’d left four years before. Unable to reach his family, he left the airport alone, on foot. At least 2,853 Haitians deported from Texas have landed here in the last week with $15-$100 in cash handouts and a “good luck out there” from migration officials—many setting foot in the country for the first time in years, even decades. More than a city, Port-au-Prince it is an archipelago of gang-controlled islands in a sea of despair. Some neighborhoods are abandoned. Others are barricaded behind fires, destroyed cars and piles of garbage, occupied by heavily armed men. On Saturday, a local newspaper reported 10 kidnappings in the previous 24 hours including a journalist, a singer’s mother and a couple driving with their toddler, who was left behind in the car. Even before the assassination of President Jovenel Moïse a in July, the government was weak—the Palace of Justice inactive, congress disbanded by Moïse and the legislative building pocked by bullets. Now, although there is a prime minister, it is absent. Most of the population of Port-au-Prince has no access to basic public services, no drinking water, electricity or garbage collection. The deportees join thousands of fellow Haitians who have been displaced from their homes, pushed out by violence to take up residence in crowded schools, churches, sports centers and makeshift camps among ruins. Many of these people are out of reach even for humanitarian organizations.
Some Bolsonaro supporters have called for a military takeover of Brazil. Why do they wave the American flag? (Washington Post) On the day when Brazilians celebrated the nation’s independence, when thousands of protesters this month called on President Jair Bolsonaro to lead a military takeover of the country, a middle-aged man set out onto the streets of Brazil’s largest city, cloaked in the flag. The American flag. Wilson Gomes, 56, strutted down streets thronged by thousands of Bolsonaro supporters, the Stars and Stripes draped across his right shoulder, demanding radical change in Latin America’s largest nation. The time had come to do away with the Brazilian supreme court, which he said had been corrupted by a kleptocratic left and was unfairly targeting Bolsonaro and his supporters. The only way to save the constitution, he said, was to suspend it. At far-right rallies all over the country, where many have called for supreme court judges and opposition lawmakers to be removed, the American flag is now a staple. Supporters wear cowboy hats and belt buckles emblazoned with Texas longhorns. In a country that has more traditionally viewed the United States and its intentions with suspicion, the sudden appropriation of American symbols has exposed a political paradox at the heart of the Bolsonarista movement. A group that many here believe wants to subvert, if not overthrow, Brazilian democracy has chosen as one of its banners the flag of the world’s oldest democracy. “The Brazilian right and American have an agenda in common,” said Sèrgio Sant’Ana, president of the right-wing Conservative Liberal Institute.
Macron says Europeans need to stop being naive and assert independence from the United States (Washington Post) French President Emmanuel Macron urged Europeans to "come out of their naivete" on the world stage and assert their independence from the United States, sending one of the strongest signals to date that the diplomatic crisis prompted by a disrupted submarine deal could have long-lasting repercussions on transatlantic relations. Speaking alongside the Greek prime minister Tuesday at a news conference to unveil a major Franco-Greek defense deal, Macron said the Europeans should make themselves “respected.” “For a bit over 10 years now, the United States has been very focused on itself and has strategic interests that are being reoriented towards China and the Pacific,” he said. “It’s in their right to do so,” he continued, but “we would be naive, or rather we would make a terrible mistake, to not want to draw the consequences.” Macron’s latest remarks come as he appears to position himself as the next leader of Europe, an unofficial role so far largely attributed to German Chancellor Angela Merkel.
China energy crunch triggers shutdowns, pleas for more coal (Reuters) China faces mounting pressure to ramp up coal imports and ensure supplies to keep lights on, factories open and water flowing as a severe power crunch roils the northeastern industrial heartland. With electricity shortages sparked by coal shortages crippling large sections of industry, the governor of Jilin province, one of the hardest hit in the world's no.2 economy, called for a surge in coal imports, while a power company association said supply was being expanded "at any cost". News organisations and social media carried reports and posts saying the lack of power in the northeast had shut down traffic lights, residential elevators and 3G mobile phone coverage as well as triggering factory shutdowns. A utility in Jilin even warned power shortages could disrupt water supplies at any time, before apologising for causing alarm. The power crunch has taken hold as a shortage of coal supplies, toughening greenhouse gas emissions standards and strong demand from industry have pushed coal prices to peaks. Goldman Sachs estimated that as much as 44% of China's industrial activity has been hit by power shortages.
American siblings trapped in China under three-year ‘exit ban’ finally return home (Washington Post) China allowed two U.S. citizens, siblings Victor and Cynthia Liu, who were prevented from leaving the country for more than three years, to return to the United States on Sunday. Cynthia and Victor Liu are the daughter and son of Liu Changming, a businessman wanted on fraud charges in China. The siblings went to China in June 2018 to visit relatives but were barred from leaving, while their mother, Sandra Han, who made the trip with them, was detained. Their lawyers and the U.S. authorities described the move as an attempt to pressure Liu Changming into returning to China to faces charges—despite the siblings saying they had not had contact with their father in years. Victor and Cynthia Liu’s lawyer Marc Ginsberg told the New York Times that he believed a Sept. 9 phone call between President Biden and Chinese President Xi Jinping had “helped to break a logjam” and contributed to the siblings’ release. He added that the siblings would have no comment for the news media.
Japan to lift all coronavirus emergency steps nationwide (AP) Japan’s government says the coronavirus state of emergency will end Thursday so the economy can be reactivated as infections slow. Prime Minister Yoshihide Suga announced Tuesday that virus restrictions will be eased gradually. With the lifting, Japan will be entirely free of emergency requirements for the first time in more than six months.
Taliban issue no-shave order to barbers in Afghan province (AP) The Taliban on Monday banned barbershops in a southern Afghanistan province from shaving or trimming beards, claiming their edict is in line with Shariah, or Islamic, law. The order in Helmand province was issued by the provincial Taliban government’s vice and virtue department to barbers in Lashkar Gah, the provincial capital. During their previous rule of Afghanistan, the Taliban adhered to a harsh interpretation of Islam. Since overrunning Kabul on Aug. 15 and again taking control of the country, the world has been watching to see whether they will re-create their strict governance of the late 1990s. During the Taliban’s previous rule, the conservative Islamists demanded that men grow beards. Since being ousted from power following the U.S.-led invasion in 2001, shaved or cleanly trimmed beards have become popular in the country.
Violence in Nigeria (Foreign Policy) At least 34 people were killed in northern Nigeria following an attack on the village of Madamai in northern Kaduna state, state security commissioner Samuel Aruwan said on Monday, blaming unidentified assailants for the attack. The assault, which Aruwan said took place on Sunday, came the same day that 22 Nigerian security personnel were killed in an attack on an army base in Sokota state, also in the country’s north. In recent weeks, Nigerian states have introduced restrictions on residents in an attempt to stem the violence, attributed to so-called bandits as well as the Islamic State’s West African offshoot.
A Crypto-Trading Hamster Performs Better Than Warren Buffett And The S&P 500 (NPR) What if we told you there was a hamster who has been trading cryptocurrencies since June—and recently was doing better than Warren Buffett and the S&P 500? Meet Mr. Goxx, a hamster who works out of what is possibly the most high-tech hamster cage in existence. It’s designed so that when Mr. Goxx runs on the hamster wheel, he can select among dozens of cryptocurrencies. Then, deciding between two tunnels, he chooses whether to buy or sell. According to the Twitch account for the hamster, his decision is sent over to a real trading platform—and yes, real money is involved. Look, we’re not telling you to follow in this hamster’s financial decisions or that this process is scientific in any way. But what we can tell you is his portfolio is up nearly 20% since he started trading in June, according to his Twitter account. And as of Sept. 12, Mr. Goxx was performing better than Bitcoin, the Nasdaq 100, Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway and the S&P 500.
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saycoloradoimagiraffe · 4 years ago
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Victorious- Tori, Jade and Beck
I've seen some posts talking about the characters of each of them and their relationships with each other so i thought id make one. Also
Spoilers
Tori
Her character is questionable. From the start, a lot of the things she did was shady, like kissing Beck in front of Jade for revenge in the pilot ep and using the day Jade was going to have a play to throw a prom. In the second example, even though Tori's prom is ruined by Jade a bit, it still turns out okay, Jade's night ends badly and Tori is still portrayed as the "Good Guy".
Her singing is kind of mediocre and less unique compared to Jade's, Cat's or Andre's. She has had her moments such as in the episode Three Girls and a Moose, her singing at the end is pretty good. However, this is entirely subjective so this isn't really a big point. Also, my opinion on this is not hating on victoria justice at all, I've seen videos of her singing (outside of victorious) and she can sing really well.
She is a little bit incompetent sometimes such as not knowing what some stuff is such as stage fighting or an understudy, sucking Rex into the tornado machine, and others. This is normal and excusable though because Victorious is a comedy and she's the main character, and she's supposed to make mistakes and learn from them. Also I guess she doesn't know some acting stuff because near the start she was portrayed as some person who's new to the school and a little out of place compared to the others (but like I said, this was near the start).
Jade
Her being mean and rude to Tori is part of her character (esp near the beginning of the show) so it's not really an issue with her. Also, sometimes even if disliking Tori wasn't part of her character, it's justifiable because Tori also did some messed up stuff (kissing beck, arranging a prom on the day of her play, etc).
She has done some stuff that even for her character is a little shady, like stealing the bag of blood Tori donated. She's also partly to blame for the toxicity of Bade but more on that later.
Her singing is great. I love her. 10/10
Beck
He's generally a pretty good guy. He's nice to his friends and helps them out. Sometimes he was a little shady such as when in the pilot he didn't stop Tori from kissing him in front of the class and willingly kissed her. He also didn't consider what Jade would feel when he was about to kiss Tori in the episode "Tori Goes Platinum: Part 2". This and other things was him not acknowledging Jade's feelings in/ about their relationship but again, more on that later.
Beck's character isn't really well developed. If you take a look at all the other characters, they generally have something unique about them.
Robbie is unique and great at ventriloquism. Cat's personality is special and different and she's really cute. Andre is amazing at songwriting and playing instruments. He's also a really good friend to everyone in the gang. Jade loves scissors and is the classic frenemy to Tori, and she's also the dark and brooding type. Even Tori, who is sometimes viewed as bland and boring, is the classic main character who's a little dorky but tries her best. Beck just isn't a well-developed character.
Now it's time for the ships.
Bade (Beck x Jade)
I never really shipped it. It was okay at first and they seemed like a good match because Jade is the only girl (apart from the gang) who actually has a mind of her own when it comes to Beck and Beck is the only guy who isn't afraid of Jade.
However, it's pretty toxic, and it's both of their faults.
Jade gets jealous and angry at Beck easily, and doesn't give him a chance to explain. This is seen very clearly in the episode Wi-Fi in the Sky, where Jade doesn't give Beck a chance to explain thay his cheerleader neighbour is a nine year old girl and immediately jumps to conclusions.
Beck does nothing to try to ease Jade's mind, ever. He just tells her she's overreacting and gets mad at her for not trusting him. Whenever girls flirt with him, he does nothing to stop it, doesn't tell them he has a girlfriend and just talks to them as if they're not throwing themselves at him. He probably knows that this makes Jade jealous and insecure but still does it.
I really don't think Bade should've gotten back together.
Bori (Beck x Tori)
I don't really have a strong opinion about Bori. I guess they'd be okay together, and their relationship would be healthy-ish (healthier than Bade). I don't ship it, but I'm also not heavily against it.
It would be kind of shady if it happened because as Tori pointed out, she wouldn't want to do that to Jade.
Jori (Jade x Tori)
Yes omg I love Jori i ship it. These two idiots are in love you can fight me. Also Jade is so whipped for Tori: (these are actual lines from the show)
T: You guys want to go grab sushi from Nozu?
J: I don't want to but I will
T: Somebody turn on the TV
J: I'll do it but only 'cause I want to
T: Don't move
J: I'm staying here because i wanna stay here
Also this one moment
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Creds to @fortuna-flying for this gif
!!!she looped her finger through tori's belt loops!!! And the way she moves close to her!!!
<3 they own my heart
I actually found out about Jori because i was on the gay side of Tiktok and saw one of Jade counting in "Take a Hint" and i searched up the vid. I started shipping Jori before I even started watching the show.
Summary:
Tori's shady but she's ok. Jade's ok. Beck is a good guy in general but undeveloped and shady.
Bade is toxic, Bori is eh, Jori is life
Sorry for the extremely long post
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myrrheart · 5 years ago
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RICHARD WAS GAY, CAMILLA WASN’T MEANT TO DESERVE BETTER, CHANGE MY MIND: THE DISSERTATION
Hi. I finished The Secret History in October. Here’s the radioactive take I’ve been sitting on for two months.
In keeping and facilitating any discussion of representation (or lackthereof) in The Secret History, it's important to note that Donna intentionally wrote it to closely mimick the upper echelons of elite collegiate academia within the United States: an overtly white, heterosexual, and wealthy pocket of young adults attempting to parade as and/or speak on behalf of those who aren't.
[spoilers under the cut]
That being said, an all-white lead cast is not only appropriate but necessary, as it allows the reader to familiarize themselves with the intimacies of a setting and social crowd made previously foreign, either by circumstance or the deliberate smoke-and-screen thrown up by academic elitists in order to shield their near-archaic world and ensuing social norms from the broader, less-white, less-straight, less- wealthy public. All this is to say: The Secret History is written entirely from the first-person limited perspective of a straight white cis male and therein lies the social commentary. Richard, although to his begrudging credit as having been arguably one of the most moral characters in the entire novel, is still at fault for falling prey to The Mortifying Ordeal of Being A Man. He stays silent in the wake of Bunny's flagrantly homophobic, racist, sexist, and antisemitic tirades -- even when the brunt of this is revealed to Richard on their first evening out together. He regards Judy as simple-minded and coked-out and calls upon her only when it benefits him or furthers the plot arch in which he himself is almost too aware that he stars. He thumbs through the catalogue of women at parties like they're kitchen appliances, and when he's confronted on a notable occasion that he's stolen someone else's, he matter-of-factly evades responsibility, blame, and the kitchen itself. And, most notably, Camilla. For a novel so cleverly crafted from nuance and innuendo, a cliche like love at first sight seems almost insincere. And you'd be right in that assumption. Caustic, anxious, pessimistic, emotionally-detached Richard has no business pining after Camilla the moment he lays eyes on her -- especially not after allocating a measly half-paragraph to her physical appearance upon first glance. And ESPECIALLY not when the prior page was near entirely dedicated to Mr. Abernathy (but we'll get to this). If you really pay attention... All Richard ever comes to appreciate about Camilla is her outward makeup -- specifically the clot of honey-colored hair at her temples that he references several times. The closest he ever comes to introspection and empathy is when he laments over how "difficult" it must be to exist in a "boy's club." (DIRECT quotes.) When Camilla shows up at his bedroom door and reaches out to him about the sexual, emotional, and physical abuse she's endured at the hands of her brother, his gut instinct is to doubt her. When she shows him the evidence, it's anger. When she refuses to move back in with him at his insistence, it's to kick her out back onto the campus where Charles is scouring after her. Richard regards Camilla as little more than something pretty to look at, and the only reason he's attracted to her and values her beyond the likes of the Judy Pooveys of Bennington is because Camilla is in the classics program; Camilla recites ancient Greek in perfect memory; Camilla wears Tweed and comes from money and embodies the peak of the class struggle that Richard has been traumatized by since birth -- and she's neatly packaged into a petite fair-haired girl his age, just to top it all off. There is a reason why Camilla is the main character we know least about. We aren't meant to care. We are Richard, and Richard doesn't care. He wants and lusts and yearns after what she is -- not who she is. To him, she embodies everything he is supposed to want in life: wealth, intellect, status -- all things he's been shown to chase after to near ridiculous lengths. It almost wouldn't matter if she wasn't even a girl ooOH WAIT CUT THE MUSIC [record scratch] [freeze frame] Let's introduce Francis! Out of the Murder Gang, Francis is the one Richard spends the most time devoted to describing, most memorably on that very first day he catalogued them all walking across the lawn. And not only is Richard most preoccupied by him -- of all the things Francis possesses (good style, great taste in fashion, a dry, bland sort of humor that compliments Richards own brand near perfectly) Richard is obsessed with Francis's homosexuality. Richard is so hyperfixated on Francis's homosexuality that he vividly remembers the day , time, and place of when he'd rejected Francis's infinisemal advances, and then mulls over it for months in detail and is able to bring it forth at at the drop of a hat when faced with the HINT of another advancement from Francis. For an unreliable narrator, Richard sure is able to recall gay panic. In staggering detail. Richard is SO hyperfixated on Francis that upon receiving his suicide note, he BOOKS A FLIGHT ACROSS THE COUNTRY IMMEDIATELY. After having held no serious, steady contact with him after they'd committed a murder together. Richard not only drops everything to fly from CA to NY overnight, he also bears witness to Francis's (basically) arranged marriage and immediately following the blatant explanation and display of Francis's family's homophobia, ASKS CAMILLA TO MARRY HIM. In a last-ditch effort to save face, to bury his homosexual urges that have resurfaced after years of self-inflicted suppression, to convince himself that if Francis can stomach it (albeit barely) then so can he -- all of these interpretations are left up to the reader. One thing is for certain, though: his spontaneous proposal to Camilla comes right off the tail end of his visiting Francis in-person for the last time in the novel. Perhaps the reader expects there to be a revelation or a sudden spark of insight into Camilla's character which we have never before gleaned -- but there isn’t. And if that isn't a direct confirmation of Camilla's role not as a character, but as a plot device, then I would politely redirect your attention to how even her denial of Richard is soft-spoken, gentle, and ultimately kind; what woman do you know would save that kind of otherworldly grace for a man who'd repeatedly scorned her, advanced on her without her consent, and asked her to marry him in the middle of a crowded train station? Camilla is the male fantasy and the physical representation of what Richard should want for himself. Francis (along with Literally Every Other Male Character His Age In This Novel) represent a call to something darker, something taboo, something ultimately detrimental; Cloke and his drugs; Charles and his drinking; Henry and his penchant for murder (and sociopathy and control issues and... Yeah);  Bunny and his lying; Francis and his... It's not so much that Francis is the sole symbol of sin and indulgence to Richard: it's that Francis is the only one remotely attainable, because Francis is the only one that would feasibly sleep with him, because Francis is a homosexual and... is that why Richard spends paragraphs upon pages upon chapters mulling over Francis's sex life? Is that why 'homosexual' is one of the first things we learn about Francis? Is that why Richard doesn't even do a good job at convincing himself, let alone the reader, that he doesn't want to hook up with Francis -- a handful of lines before they get as far as second (and arguably third) base? In conclusion: the alternative title of The Secret History should be whatever the ancient Greek equivalent is of the colloquialism "no homo." But the Greeks sure did love their gays, didn't they...? :-)
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clansayeed · 4 years ago
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Hey Jack! I wanted to know what your thoughts are on Rheya. Was she really a villain to you? Were her motives justifiable? Was she a good villain? Did you think she deserved to have a redemption arc in chapter 16? What could have been written to make her have a better character story? Any thoughts at all about Rheya!
FOREWARNING: Anon... I accidentally wrote you a 2500 word essay. I shit you not this thing is 2,528 words long. So... I don’t know whether to say you’re welcome or I’m sorry. Just letting you know in advance.
ADD-ON POST-POSTING: I’m fully aware this is an app game. A three book series written with sexying vampires in mind. Where the medium is limited both size and content-wise, where you can’t go into much detail because they can only have so many panels in a chapter, etc. Still thinking what I think though. And if you get paid to create content professionally the least you can do for your own paycheck is go back and double-check your work.
Actually this ask came at a good time since I have to work on some character motivations for her for my series... and I always break down the in-canon versions before working on my own. So anon, let’s talk... are you a mind reader?
Kidding! mostly
So. Rheya.
I actually just finished my first replay of book 2 and at the moment I’ve only ever played book 3 the once. I played it as it was releasing so there were some memory gaps in some places and needed-refreshers in others. But on a whole I have similar thoughts about Rheya as I do Xenocrates, and you can find those thoughts here.
Overall she was a solid setup, good design and potential, and PB pretty much wasted her execution.
I wanna start with a genuine question to the fandom since I’ve never actually been able to ask this... but y’all like... totally saw the Bloodkeeper being related to her coming, right? Like I was so convinced of it that when it was revealed in some big dramatic point at the end I was like “yeah... they told us this...?” and it turns out they fuckin didn’t??? Like I could not understand the people who were like super into her sprite like yes she looks good but here I was thinking she was our ancestor from the get-go so I was... confused to say the least.
Not gonna lie when they started pushing in snippets of Rheya’s past trauma in book 2 (things like her yelling “you know what they did to me/took from me” which is paraphrased but you know what I mean) I really hoped they weren’t gonna do what they did. So of course they did it.
But I wish they’d like... just given her the kid. Just give her Iola and leave the weird suddenly random husband out of it. At this point we know Gaius has an unhealthy idolatry for her, we know Xenocrates adored her in his own way in his youth... but we know fuckall about Demetrius up to and including his existence until literally book 3. Sloppy, IMO. They took something not being mentioned and used it to put in a plot device when the omission should have been strategical.
TBH I thought the whole “you know what they did to me” was gonna get hella dark RE: Rheya and King Kaelisus’ obsession with her. That’s as far as I’ll go there.
But you have a Priestess, a known Priestess, who was definitely faithful enough not to stray even when she thought she was walking to her own death. It’s pretty easy to assume (as I did ngl) that she would be completely devoted to Phampira, including romantically/sexually. It would have been a good setup to explain why she never gave Gaius the goods if anything.
And there’s nothing wrong with having said Priestess have her own family while still being devoted. I just wish PB would have used some fucking forethought and hinted at that earlier on than they did. Because they didn’t hint. They dropped this random fisherman-something husband on us and told us she cared enough about his opinion to make him part of her advisory board but not... to like... mention him in any of her conversations in any of the flashbacks... including those in which he would have been alive.
On that note the whole timeline there is really messy, they obviously threw him and Iola in later on after some things were established/couldn’t be taken back. I’ve studied this shit extensively and it’s really muddled exactly how long Rheya ruled, when shit went down with her family, how much time had passed when Xenocrates staked her, etc.
I would have loved for Iola’s father not to have been there. Give me a strong woman, a strong single mother, who would burn the world for the loss of her daughter. Doesn’t matter who did the deed, Iola was hers and the Sons/Order took that from her and the world would have to pay the price.
If I had been given that I would end all of my complaints right here. I would, genuinely. Because then her descent into madness, her paranoia, her megalomania would all have been explained. And they still technically are but -- maybe it’s just me -- there’s something about her having to factor in Demetrius that just... takes me out of it. IDK.
I didn’t mind the guy... though him being a talking tree of doom was a little much for me... though by that point I had accepted the plot was off the goddamn rails and just kept nodding and going with it. But his presence made the story okay when his absence could have made the story impactful and powerful and emotional. That’s just my thoughts. Which you asked for. You did this.
No takesies-backsies.
Was she a villain? Hells to the yes.
It’s a classic case of obtaining ultimate power and abusing it; of crossing the line between justice and vengeance. Not that she wasn’t justified in her freak-out over the death of her family. But everything after up to and including her fatal feeding schedule was totally unnecessary. For a villain, yes necessary. 
For a vampire goddess who could have easily used Gaius’ influence over the vampires of the modern world to form a cult following around herself with an open dialogue about her big ass appetite and probably would have ended up with swaths of willing adorers ready to lend their blood to her cause thus eliminating the need for secrecy and subsequent feeling of betrayal...
You tell me.
I feel like she was definitely more than a little hyped up though. Not even going into my whole-ass issue with the entire Unchained plot and thus the first like 4-5 chapters of book 3, she was hyped up in myth and kind of a let down in person. She could FLY. Walk in the SUN. Heal the DYING. She’s vampire JESUS.
*ADDED IN LATER: She took out THE ENTIRE ORDER OF THE DAWN, WHO HAVE RAVAGED THE VAMPIRE POPULATION FOR LITERALLY 3000 YEARS since they were around in her time after all IN LIKE A THREE-MOVE COMBO BREAK. ALL THIS SHIT THEY HYPED WITH THE ORDER and their entire ERADICATION isn’t even an ON-SCREEN THING. Unless you pay.
Dude if they had kept Xenocrates and the Order and used the two of them against each other; the Order’s long-standing influence on the modern world versus the new world Rheya wanted to create with the human populations not knowing the history behind their hatred, where like the first half of the book is Rheya and MC and gang taking out the Order and Xenocrates only to find out in the middle point that she’s been doing it for selfish reasons and they were on the wrong team the whole time and THEN Rheya becomes the big bad... I would have enjoyed the shit out of that.
Anyway. “She’s vampire JESUS...” and her big evil plan is to... suck face on national television? IDK. It didn’t play the mood right for me. I can see from a writer’s perspective how they kind of played out all of their options and went with a quick and easy solution... but it didn’t work for me. That’s a no from me dawg.
Do I think she deserved a redemption arc? I don’t think anybody deserved a god damn redemption arc, unless they are done with extreme care and attention to detail before/during/after said arc they go horribly, and overall tend to be the plot device pick of lazy writers.
And I take nothing back. No like I think I might have gone into how much I fucking hated Gaius’ “reDEmPtiON aRc” before or at least I have somewhere and to someone. Probably Sofia... no most definitely Sofia. But anyway. They spend TWO GOD DAMN BOOKS hyping Gaius as this ultimately irredeemable bad guy. 
OMG I was literally playing the book 2 finale and got a quote hold on... HERE. Adrian literally says about Gaius in 2.16 “It’s like there’s no humanity left.” And that’s just one actual example of the tons of times they make him out to be devoted to Rheya of his own volition, the ultimate example of the line between believing in something and being blinded to everything by it, etc. Like a huge chunk of Kamilah’s and Adrian’s arcs RE: Gaius are about how he was definitely a monster, he turns the people around him into monsters, and while they have worked their asses off to be good and right their wrongs he has not, will not, and would not ever do such a thing.
Then suddenly he’s brainwashed, tried to turn Rheya down and was made into a loony toon because of it, and everything he made MC’s loved ones do that they blamed themselves for but needed to blame him for is suddenly Rheya’s fault and now we should blame her for.
Mmmmmkay sweetie. I’m good, thanks.
But really -- that was the last straw for me when it came to both Gaius and Rheya. There’s a difference between giving the villain something they see as a just cause (ex. Rheya avenging her family) and giving the villain a cop-out that absolves them of guilt (ex. Gaius and... everything about him). Like yes I know MC didn’t have to forgive him, I know Kamilah didn’t really forgive him, but it’s pretty fuckin obvious from how it was put out into the world story that the writers were trying to lean you towards blaming Rheya and letting Gaius off the hook.
I mean... making him save Lula for real when Rheya saved her for fake earlier on in the book, using Lula as a stand-in metaphor for her own child daughter that she finds out she was the cause of her death for, etc? That symbolism is so transparent I could put it in the asset database.
And I’ll only briefly touch on this since I could write a whole other essay on the matter RE: PB and their fucking constant repetition of this, but “let’s give both bad guys similar moral quandaries but suddenly reveal it was a consent issue and the woman is wholly to blame and now gets the man’s crimes piled on with her own” is super common in fiction and hella. fucking. sexist.
But that isn’t to say all of this is necessarily bad.
When done right, everything I’ve complained about above can be a part of a really good story. What “done right” means is different for everyone, everyone has a different example and different thoughts on it. These are mine. I think the better term would be done well. It was not done WELL.
But given things like PB’s weird obsession with redeeming the attractive (apparently) bad guy, PB’s history with narrowing a woman down to one trait or part of her (ex. Rheya’s power corruption centered around her role as a wife and mother and not... a super all powerful vampire goddess...), their obvious lack of attention to detail and overall lack of vision when it comes to the big picture* and more, I personally don’t think they knew what the fuck they wanted by book 3 and were already well into transitioning into whatever adultery-obsessed lingerie shenanery they’re fixated on now; so much so that it’s almost a disservice to the writing done in earlier book 1 and a decent chunk of book 2 when calling it a whole series.
*I keep bringing this up only because it means I can back up stuff like this with real examples of theirs: these guys did not write the plot of this series as a cohesive story. I get that, as a writer writing a big series myself I get the fuck out of that. But you have to solidify some things early on in the development process in order to avoid writing yourself into a hole or, like with this, having to result in trope-y plot devices that work in theory but on paper don’t give the story the full-circle fulfillment it deserves. 
Their timelines are out of whack, they contradict themselves in quite a few places, constantly wishy-washy their own lore, and definitely didn’t go back and double check if they’d said something already... and that’s not including where they focused on the details of one unimportant thing and left another more important thing to just be “and this is the way it is moving on.”
I literally have no way/idea how to summarize any of this bullshittery going on in this ask. Did I like Rheya? The character personality, design, and overall idea as this big ass badass power/hungry goddess demanding fealty was pretty cool. Did I like Rheya when they narrowed her story down to her grief over her family (which, again, is valid, but just seemed really disjointed and rushed when compared to everything else they had given about her/shown of her by the beginning of book 3)? Not... as much.
I think they wanted her to seem like she could be redeemed. I mean FFS in the “big battle” she literally just stands there and lets you do the thing. 3000 years imprisoned and however many centuries before that spent taking the power that she was denied all because some bad dudes in masks killed the mortal husband and daughter you would have eventually lost to old age anyway...? And she just stands there??? 
Even knowing she was really behind Iola’s death they could have stuck with the “madness consumed” plotline and had her be like well... what’s done is done back to taking over now thank you.
But sometimes a bad guy just has to be a bad guy. Rourke from ES, mister capitalism -- can’t remember them trying to redeem him. If they had I don’t think I would have liked it so much. Who else... UGH. Thomas in NB. Crazy zombie man wants all monsters dead because one killed his family (can we stop using dead families for grief porn please and thanks...) another example of a useless villain. Hence why I removed him from my NB rewrite don’t even get me going...
What’s his face in TCATF! Luther! You join up with him and he still tries to kill you in the end! Now that was fucking classic. Hex, who suddenly is forgiven for the literal enslavement of a race of people and the thoughtless murder of a civilization that didn’t agree with her.. and all because she was ‘like a mother’ to the kid genius? Not so much.
I could go on and on and go search out tons of examples but in the end the one thing you can say PB does well is that they stay consistent in their ideas of redemption, of who deserves it and who isn’t, and just how far they’re willing to stretch the fucking story to forgive a character if 1. the sprite is hot or 2. the sprite had a little sprite family somewhere in there.
legit just talk to me about bb/nb
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amoralto · 4 years ago
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In your recent post from Gloria Steinem’s “Beatle with a future,” do you know the “she” that Derek Taylor is referring to? Or is that supposed to be apple or the Beatles themselves or something? Who Paul didn’t officially say goodbye to? It seems revealing how John would say “nothing’s going to change Paul.” There’s so much there. Oh and one last thing, who was Ringo saying “always worrying about people” ? Idk why but it’s hard for me to tell who was talking to who here.
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Re: the “friend from Philly” Derek Taylor refers to, it’s not specified. Somebody better-versed in fan/groupie/Beatlemania-era dalliance stories may be able to connect the dots, but as far as Steinem describes it she was merely one of a few girls who’d met the band while they were in Philadelphia (September 2nd) and had now followed the band to their engagement in New York (September 20th) holding a charity concert for the United Cerebral Palsy Fund at the Paramount, their last gig on the US tour before returning to England to record Beatles For Sale. Here’s all the appearances she and the other girls from Philadelphia make in Steinem’s article:
It was time for The Beatles’ performance. Everyone crowded into the hall, looking expectantly at the room in which The Beatles had been “incommunicado” and “resting,” the same room into which I had seen Ed Sullivan disappear. Paul McCartney came out first, looking soft-faced and vulnerable as a choirboy. George Harrison and Ringo Starr followed animated and laughing. John Lennon moved quickly behind them, but his face was stoic and aloof behind his dark glasses (the face that inspired a London journalist to write, “It has the fear-neither-God-nor-man quality of a Renaissance painter’s aristocrat”). Behind Lennon came three chic young girls, two brunettes and a blonde, in their late teens or early twenties. McCartney jerked his head toward them as he got in the elevator and told some of his staff members to “look after the birds now, won’t ya.”
[...]
The Beatles’ entourage crowded together in the wings, and I talked to the birds. Were they working for The Beatles or interviewing them? No, they were just friends. “We met The Beatles at a press conference in Philadelphia,” said the pretty blonde, “that’s where we’re from.” Two of them wore wool suits with short culotte skirts. They all looked as if they had stepped from the pages of a teenage fashion magazine, and one carried a met them,” corrected the friendly blonde, “and this time we brought along a friend.”
The girls were simply left to sit in an adjoining room apart from Steinem, John, and Ringo, with both Paul and George in their own rooms presumably sleeping: 
The Beatles were leaving for London early the next morning. That, plus the fact that several Manhattan hotels had turned them down, brought them to the Riviera Motor Inn at Kennedy Airport. The rooms were small, barely big enough for a bureau, twin beds and a television set but they had commandeered a whole floor and there were policemen guarding the halls. Our room was jammed with carts of Scotch and Coca-Cola, trays of sandwiches and two photographers, the young ladies from Philadelphia, a tall girl who had followed The Beatles from San Francisco, several journalists who had been on the Beatle tour, a pretty airline stewardess in a very lowcut dress who was acting as hostess, and, occasionally, Neil Aspinall and Derek Taylor. Two of The Beatles were in other rooms, but Ringo Starr and Lennon were in the one adjoining us with the door locked. It was opened only to admit Aspinall, Taylor, one or two other selected young men and liquor.
And at the end of the article: 
I thanked Lennon, who looked worried, and said, “I hope you’re as true as you seem.” I said goodbye to the three birds who still sat in the adjoining room. Two were stretched out on the bed and a third was applying eye shadow. (“Women,” Lennon had once told a reporter, “should be obscene and not heard.”) They smiled their Mona Lisa smiles.
The “charity” concert itself was a point of consternation for the band (think Embassy-level feelings of exploitation, with the audience made up entirely of high society folk who could afford the exorbitant ticket prices and John saying they were treated “like animals”), and yet another thing in a cumulation of things they’d incurred over the past several months that had the band feeling exhausted and frustrated and even disillusioned with the unrelenting scrutiny and tabloid headlines and general mania surrounding them. Which may be why there’s a sense of distrust and weariness from John and Ringo that comes through in the article. 
Add to that Derek Taylor ultimately resigning from his position as Brian Epstein’s assistant (a position he’d only held for about a year) from the stress and that triggering argument with Brian he’s confiding with Neil Aspinall and John about (which Brian would try to backtrack on, asking him to stay, to no avail), and just the random and curious fact that Bob Dylan and Albert Grossman were there in the room as well (which Steinem only gives a passing mention to; sleepless!John and Bob would later have breakfast together), it would seem Gloria Steinem had (albeit entirely unwittingly) caught the Beatles at a very intriguing point in time. 
(I could go on more about Derek Taylor and how his emotional sensitivity/ego and issues with Brian Epstein (his management, his overprotectiveness of the boys leading to possible misattribution of blame, etc.) seems to prefigure his later issues with Paul and later serve as a bonding agent for him and John in mid-late-1968 (although John would still eventually cry betrayal, in typical gang leader fashion, when John interpreted Derek wanting to keep the Beatles together as “siding” with Paul against John), but I have another earlier ask I have to yet to reply to where that would be more pertinent for me to discuss it.)
Re: “nothing’s going to change Paul”, there’s definitely a lot to deconstruct and pick apart there, even if to the uneducated observer (Steinem) it comes across as just another “desultory” aside to pacify Derek, just as he tries to pacify Derek with the Brian issue (“He’s all right, but he doesn’t understand people having a few laughs, not even me laughs with me wife.”). Insert essay here. 
Re: Ringo, I read it as him making a rueful comment on the situation in general, and therefore referring to both Derek and John. I could be wrong, though! The mileage varies. 
I checked through @amoralto to see if I had posted/transcribed any interviews and such from around this time, and it turns out I have! Larry Kane’s with John and Ringo from Philadelphia (as it happens), with Ringo’s matter-of-factness with the tabloid trap they’re in (“I’ll have it on tape, I’ve been called a queer”) and John and Ringo talking about being the band being alone together (“One gets reliant on the others”). 
Also, I’d be willing to post the entire Steinem article if anybody’s interested! Like I said, it’s an intriguing glimpse into the trauma of living through Beatlemania, something which still gets underplayed in the Beatles historiography - and also something I wish Ron Howard’s film could have focused on, instead of just shallow anecdotes by famous fans who went to see them in concert - and a worthwhile read, even if Steinem sometimes comes across as naive and even judgmental. She also unfortunately skews towards (if not wholly believes in) the popular, nigh-deleterious stereotypes of the Beatles (i.e. John as the Most Talented and Most Intelligent and Most Versatile - indeed, she sought out the Beatles specifically to talk to John in the first place) typical of many features/articles from the time (and which still unfortunately continues to this day). 
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violetsystems · 3 years ago
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#personal
I did not get to see the Fortnite extravaganza last night due to an encryption error on their servers. It was more something to stay out of trouble than anything. I did place number one earlier for the first time ever after a year of playing. But this is probably mostly due to the performance of the machine I've built and upgraded over time. I've learned to understand in almost everything when it is not about me. Being an optimist in a hopeless situation trains you to look on the bright side. The bright side these days is that home on the inside is mostly private. I did have to fight off a wasp that flew down the venting in my bathroom before the broadcast. It's an old house I tell myself. Then I decide to leave my apartment and wait for the bus to go to the Home Depot. Maybe I wanted to build a real fort? I really just wanted to get some bug spray and some more fly tape to deal with a problem myself. But waiting for the bus is a whole other problem these days. Especially when everybody seems to want to make your public appearance an excuse to chip away at your ego. I finished watching the Snowden movie last night. It was great timing. The quote about the Nuremberg trials is too real. How they tried the regular people next. The ones just doing their jobs. The other quote was something about pressure points. I have been under extreme pressure lately without much guidance or semblance of civil rights. I've complained about this weekly on a blog for years only to realize nobody really cares or understands the level of what I put up with. This sort of desensitizes you after awhile. You begin to accept that American society is just the way it is. Mostly because it is still run by rich white men who have figured out layers upon layers of gaslighting. I caught a small part of the Ronan Farrow documentary on HBO where he was being followed by Weinstein because of his work. He had interviewed a private eye who worked for a company called Blackcube. This private security company hired local detectives to get around issues with jurisdictions. The PI eventually turned to the FBI because he was disturbed about the work he was doing to the free press in America. The FBI asked his business then hung up on him. This is how it came to be that Ronan Farrow interviewed his surveillance. The gaslighting never goes away. There are so many reasons for people to watch you. So many special interests. So many mobs. Gangs. Powerful organizations. Snowden really buries the hatchet. What if the government you trust doesn't represent you anymore? What if it's caught doing the same bad things over and over like an abusive spouse? What can you do when the state department holds the key to your entire identity? If this sounds like the plot of a Bond film, it is more or less what I live from day to day. So it's better for me to lay low and keep focusing on crypto mining than write the play by play nobody would believe.
I write to make sense of something that is beyond broken. In that, it can be a little exhausting for everything to sort of work but not follow through. My passport delayed in the mail. A wasp crawling in from the attic into my bathroom as I get ready for a stream. Stores mysteriously closed and locked when I walk around the corner to get distilled water. Friends who text suspiciously a year later asking how I'm doing after they took my job. A thermostat that is set for 73 that on a good day reads 78. A cracked floor I'm afraid to say anything about for fear of the rent going up. A gang of neighbors who watch my every move but say nothing. A city full of gangs that assault me passively aggressively on the train on my way for groceries. I fear sometimes if I cry uncle that it would cut off the good parts. The secret communication and narratives that I have protected for the good of all things I care about. It's like the world says "if you can be free to do that, you've gotta let us be the judge." And after watching how the NSA and government literally tracks every literal thing you do, how can we call any of this freedom? It's a sales pitch I get it. Freedom to live in debt and be all that you can be. I don't live that way anymore at all. But I don't live much when I'm expected to stay in my home for over a year and pretend that the hidden plan will work out in my favor. I have no life to speak of other than my cat, a blog and some weird unstated agreement that gets hijacked, manipulated, intimidated, and pressured. You'd have to wonder who applies the pressure. If I had to put a finger back on it, it's a sad reality. It's not just the government. It's everyone. It's greed. It's selfishness. It is mediocre people scared of not being in control of anything you say or do that might upset the fragility of the lie this country is built upon. It's the sober reality that America is going off a cliff with nothing to show for it except a smile strained so fake it's starting to scare me. Nobody listens. Everyone points the blame. Everyone deflects. And I just sit here alone to some extent. No new friends other than the ones I write to from week to week. I do consider this space safe enough to say that. And yet I wonder how much anyone reads them. Do the people who follow me every time I walk out the door read these as deeply? Their reading comprehension must be garbage. What do I have to say to make it stop? What magic words do I have to say to reverse this invisibility? You were right? I'd rather stay invisible. This neighborhood walks around in trucker hats with crowns spelling out cocaine in bold italic as if it's the constitution. I'm supposed to lay low and realize the laws of the jungle. No opportunity. No jobs. No freedom. No justice. And a wasp flying around in my bathroom.
Will I be ok? My net income hasn't really changed since last fall. I'm sure this year will be a fun tax year. But it is the first time I own my own business with books to balance and spreadsheets to toggle. My health insurance works but the drama behind it is worse for wear. I'm more scared I might be hunted and murdered because someone is jealous of me than the fear of going broke. And even then for fear of it being used as a "CIA pressure point" I just shrug it off like a model on a catwalk. This experience for me is worse than hell. It's a silent wall of shame and coercion that makes this country feel like Nazi Germany. All the while the bully keeps telling you this is for the best. It's so much worse in other countries according to them. And if you speak up or rock the boat, they will find you. This is America 2021. A country that can't look itself in the mirror or read a paragraph or two to understand it has failed people like me. It just waits for us to die. To lay low in an epidemic of pure vapidity. It's no wonder I invest whatever I have overseas and in the future. I do believe there's no way to survive this alone. And yet I do believe that people pushing their way into my life year after year with nothing to show for it is worse. If we were being real about it, my resolve broke over a week ago. I submitted an anonymous tip to the FBI. I know I probably shouldn't write about it here. For fear of more retaliation. I'm more afraid of being stung by a wasp in the bathtub than a city I've suffered through for decades. But on the real, when enough is enough and there is no reply what can you rely on anymore? Yourself. I don't have a whistle to blow. I don't have an opinion that matters. And that is the lie about America. That any of this really means anything. That talking about it and explaining it succinctly on the internet changes anything when diabolic men still control everything. When women live in fear more than men can imagine. Fear of being harassed. Fear of losing control over their own body. Fear of competing for a livable wage. Fear of not being free in a country claiming to be the center of the universe. I don't know any other fight left to fight. As a man I see nothing but wrong, lies, evil and pain. Nobody looks in the mirror. Nobody starts to change things in themselves first. Nobody except me. Yeah, I'm laying low. It's 2021. The patriarchy is everywhere. They've learned to talk over you again with the same old double speak. What are you going to do about it? Here's an idea. Ready? Okay, $19 Fortnite card, who wants it? And yes, I'm giving it away. Remember; share, share share. And trolls, don't get blocked!" <3 Tim
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imonlyhereformyclass · 4 years ago
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Sin City Bombshells
For this post, I am going to be analyzing the following female characters: Nancy, Wendy, Gail, Miho, and Shellie. I am going to be going in depth about Lucille in another post, when I discuss lesbians. I know it’s a lot, but each of these characters represent a different spectrum of female sexuality, and to a certain extent, objectification. Most of the significant female characters are in the sex industry, as prostitutes or strippers, respectively. 
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First, we have Nancy Callahan, played by Jessica Alba. Her story is brought by Bruce Willis’ character, John Hartigan, saving her when she was a child from a child predator. They part for several years and meet again in the future when Hartigan gets out of jail. He sees her as a 19 year old working as a stripper. She tells him that she never stopped thinking about him and has fallen in love with him. It is implied that they start dating afterwards. I don’t mind an age gap in relationships but this one rubbed me the wrong way. Hartigan met her as an 11 year old and he was grown. Now that she is older, she is viewed as a sexual object. I think that this represents the barely legal fetish that a lot of men carry. Along with this, Nancy is the perfect example of the stereotypical image of a stripper. She is a young woman (college age, fresh out of high school) with a heavy baggage of childhood trauma mixed with potential daddy issues. I think she fell in love with Hartigan because he saved her as her lowest. A savior, of sorts. I expected her to have a bigger role in the story because she is a huge name and is even on the cover. She only appears for a small bit and was only accompanied by Hartigan. She is constantly sexualized by her now stripper job and her kidnapping. I think it would have been a cool idea if Hartigan and her teamed up, like a Batman and Robin situation. Her role as a film noir trope is the “The good-bad girl stands in between the girl-next-door and the femme fatale, which highlights her moral ambiguity” (Barroso). Nancy has an innocent image (as we remember her from the beginning of the movie as a child), however, is now grown and had a darker moral code. Her becoming a sex worker also ruptures her moral ambiguity. Some still believe that being involved in the sex industry is immoral and evil. 
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Next is Wendy. She is played by Jamie King. Wendy is the twin sister of Goldie, Marv’s prostitute lover. The reason she is given that name is the striking image of her soft golden billowing hair. Goldie was killed, hence Marv (Mickey Rourke) going on the hunt to find her killer. He blames himself for her murder and goes on a revenge spree to avenge her as he couldn’t save her previously. Since the beginning, she is framed in a sexual lens. She is described as an angel sent from heaven. She is naked the second the audience sees her in a passionate lovemaking scene. She is enveloped in light. Dana Leventhal observes, “The men idealize, romanticize, pine for the women by placing them on impossible pedestals (circumscribed by sexuality and desire) as cherished imaginings and visions, and through this possession make it their duty to guard and safekeeping them, especially since the women are jeopardized or victimized by brutal crime and injustice” (Leventhal). He finds out that Goldie has a twin, Wendy. Wendy is hardened and dead set on revenge, as she should be. She is a no nonsense type of woman. Wendy is tough and willing to bring the murderers to justice. She is still sexualized, nonetheless, as Marv always compared her to her sister, and viewed her the same way. Donaldson writes, “The women of classic noir are often alluring, moral ambiguous, and two steps ahead of the men in the story” (Donaldson). Wendy is alluring, as she starkly resembles her prostitute twin sister. She is morally ambiguous as she is dark and calculating, yet she joins Marv (the anti-hero) on avenging the wrongful murder of her sister. Wendy is one of my favorite characters as I liked how merciless she was. 
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Gail, played by Rosario Dawson, serves as one of two women of color characters. That is a discussion for another day, as I am going to be analyzing her character. She is the femme fatale. Barroso defines the trope as, “The femme fatale...is mysterious and seductive, known for using her charms to ensnare men and get them into dangerous, and most often, deadly situations. Her main characteristic is using her feminine sexual traits as a way to achieve hidden purposes” (Barroso). She is tough and isn’t going down without a fight. She is the epitome of female empowerment in the eyes of men: tough and battle ready, and looks good doing it. From the picture alone, she is scantily clad. She looks great and I like her outfit but I know the reason why she is dressed like this. She is cunning and commanding. She resembles and reminds me of a dominatrix. Sexually dangerous and isn’t afraid to beat down men. She has masculine traits like being the leader of the gang and she is gritty and domineering. She kills men in a severely violent manner and is strong and self sufficient. 
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I freaking love Miho. She is, by far, my favorite character in the film. The movies that Devon Aoki appears in, her characters always reign supreme. There is a reason Suki from 2 Fast 2 Furious is still so popular and raved about. However, there is something I hated about her character. She didn't say a word. Her character is the epitome of age old Asian stereotypes: the silent ninja. Miho would strike her sword on her opponents in the same “badass” manner as a ninja would. Her character had so much potential and I feel like it was a waste to have her be silent the entire time. Both her and Gail are the tough girls in the film. Leventhal writes, “The women are not helpless, powerless, or weak; rather, they are cunning and battle-ready. Not only do they refrain from asking for help from the male protagonists, but they either resist or fight to save themselves from their enemies” (Leventhal). Miho is presented differently from the other girls of the film. Her, along with Gail, are not the average damsel in distress, which I like. Laura Woodhouse rants, “Miho...initially appears to be the only truly powerful woman in Sin City. She is not possessed by a man, she is not a victim, she is certainly not physically passive as she goes on to kill many more men and can easily win a fight with any man...It is almost as though Miho is a different creature, a member of a race of silent killers that exist only to perform acts of violence. Quite simply, she cannot be presented as a ‘normal’ female because she has superior killing skills to a man and this threatens the patriarchal nature of Sin City. The creators of Sin City rob Miho of a voice in order to justify her power” (”The F Word”). 
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Last, but not least, there is Shellie. Played by the late Brittany Murphy, she is a prostitute. Her costume in her major story arc is a black underwear set with a white oversized button down shirt. Given that she was in her own home and she is allowed to wear what she wants, but it rectifies the stereotype that women walk around their home scantily clad, sexually available for overnight guests. Along with that, it fits her day job of being eyed on by the voyeuristic audience. Shellie is conceived as the victim character; she needs the help of her boyfriend to save her from her deranged pimp of a boss. Leventhal notes, “the traditional formulations or projections of femininity as sexuality are retained, as are the concomitant age-old misogynistic conceits of male domination/paternalism in the guise of safety and defense of women, i.e., the cliche that women are weak and need rescuing by men from other men” (Leventhal). Shellie mirrors the poor princess locked up in a tower, needing her Prince Charming to come and save her. 
Barroso, Malu, et al. “The Representation of Women in Film Noir.” High On Films, 10 Oct. 2019, www.highonfilms.com/women-in-film-noir/.
Donaldson, Kayleigh. “Problematic Faves: Sin City.” SYFY WIRE, SYFY WIRE, 24 Apr. 2020, www.syfy.com/syfywire/problematic-faves-sin-city.
Leventhal, Dana. “Superwomen? The Bad-Ass Babes of Sin City – or Are They?” Bright Lights Film Journal, 28 Apr. 2019, brightlightsfilm.com/superwomen-bad-ass-babes-sin-city/.
Woodhouse, Laura, et al. “Sin City.” Word, 18 June 2005, thefword.org.uk/2005/06/sin_city/.
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joopiterjoon · 4 years ago
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Boy Meets Evil- MiniMoni
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Pairing: Namjoon x Jimin
Genre: PG-13, Strangers/enemies-kind-of to lovers?
Warnings/Tags: Kittygang!Jimin, Professor!Namjoon, swearing, mentions of gangs and gang violence, minor threats, bad art history knowledge
Wordcount: 3k
a/n: this started as a short drabble but now I have 3 parts so I think Imma turn it into a series maybe? and thanks as usual to @megahwn​​ for betareading and reminding me I don’t suck at writing~~~
Part of ficswithluv’s #FWLBingo! 
Namjoon rakes back his tawny hair with frustrated fingers. He scratches in bafflement as he circles another misspelling of Da Vinci. When he started teaching Art History, he never thought he’d have to teach spelling, too.
He doesn’t realize how far he’s sunk into his chair, now scribbling away on Renaissance essays with his nose only inches from the table, until someone bumps into his chair. He hurriedly corrects himself and takes the moment to have a break from reading about the same exact art piece again. He’d given his students free reign of the entire Renaissance to choose art from, yet they all chose from the first five google results.
One of those students sat across the cafe. He glanced up as Namjoon spotted him and gave a small smile of acknowledgment. Namjoon tried to give the same, but knew his distress was evident if not on his face then definitely by his haywire hair. He shakes his head, adjusting his glasses.
Jungkook. A good kid, trying to get a minor in Digital Art. Namjoon knows a lot of students have to take his class as a requirement, and he’s come to appreciate the quiet yet studious students like Jungkook. He may not speak in class, but he submits decent work on time. Even now, while several pairs of probable-students sit in the cafe off campus chatting and laughing, Jungkook has his laptop open and camera plugged in.
Seeing a student working hard motivates Namjoon to plow through the last three essays he has. 
Before his red pen starts scribbling again, his attention is swept away by a man entering the cafe.
Art.
Namjoon loves art. It’s captured his attention since he was young. He read books on woodwork while his friends read Haikyuu! He took every art elective his senior year instead of taking early dismissal. He managed to get a degree in architecture to appease his parents just so he could also get a minor in art history. He finds art in everyday life. He appreciates unique design and complex color palettes. Art is not only his passion but the way he interprets the world.
The man who just walked through the cafe doors is art.
Soft, pink dusted hair smooths back as the man raises his sunglasses into his hair with a ring-clad hand only to reveal large, almost black eyes. His plush lips are pursed while he clearly looks for something, licking them in impatience. And as he weaves between tables, Namjoon has a clear view of a tight ass in tighter jeans, thick thighs bulging above the slits in the knees. As he rounds on a specific table in the back, Namjoon catches a glimpse of slim, delicate shoulders as the man’s jacket slides to his forearms. Namjoon glances down at the purple feathers lining the shoulder pads, trying to make out the words as the man bends over to place his hands on the table before him.
Kitty Gang
Namjoon’s throat dries. Kitty Gang, a notorious group of gangsters and good for nothings that wreak havoc as they please. Always pushing the law but never quite breaking it, at least, for the activities they get blamed for. Namjoon hadn’t heard that they were also so attractive. Maybe that was part of the man’s aura that drew Namjoon in to stare so long. Just like art, the deeper meaning of a person can shine through how they present themselves. And this man caused people to turn away, to scoot their chairs farther in, to gasp as his boot stomped on the floor.
Why is someone from Kitty Gang inside a student cafe? Namjoon heard about them on the edges of the college town. Were they here to cause an issue? Namjoon glanced around, trying to see if there were any other adults around. If not, he had a duty as a teacher. Especially since one of his students is here.
Namjoon does a double-take. His student, Jungkook, is who the member is talking to. Doing his best not to draw attention to himself, Namjoon tries to switch chairs. He’s not the only one, several girls craning their head to get a look at that powerful, attractive stranger. Namjoon’s not sure what he should do. If Jungkook catches his eye, maybe he’ll give him some kind of signal to help.
But when he catches sight of Jungkook, Namjoon’s surprised, to say the least. The boy is leaning back in his chair, laughing with the man. He seems completely at ease as he points to his screen. The pink-haired man steps around, putting a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder as he leans into his space to watch the screen together. They talk in hushed voices, a dangerous grin growing on the man’s face that regrettably makes Namjoon’s stomach warm, something causing him to squirm in his seat.
Then, the man grabs Jungkook’s jaw, holding him close as he plants a sloppy kiss on Jungkook’s cheek. That warming feeling in Namjoon’s gut grows, his heart racing. He tries to shake it off, adjusting in his seat. He’s always been drawn to the ghastly, to things eccentric that stand out. That’s art. That’s just what’s happening here. Of course he knows this is a dangerous situation that he might need to handle.
Jungkook shoves the man away. Namjoon’s jaw drops. Jungkook said no more than 5 words in class all semester. He always kept to himself, gentle smiles as he left the classroom, and here he is shoving at a… a gangster.
Oh, this is bad. He shouldn’t feel comfortable in this situation. He shouldn’t be locking forearms with the man as he shrugs his jacket back on, closing his computer and following the man out of the cafe. Namjoon watches, dumbfounded.
A feeling of protectiveness wells up in Namjoon, replacing the strange feeling from before. He has to do something as a professor and as an adult. Jungkook can’t go down this path.
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As the lecture hall empties after Namjoon’s lecture, he watches Jungkook make his way out of class. On time as always, attentive as always, and a soft smile as he makes his exit as always.
“Jungkook,” Namjoon says in a hushed voice. “Please wait a minute.”
Jungkook looks puzzled but pauses obediently, nodding as the others pass. Once the room is empty, he adjusts his backpack and asks, “What’s wrong, Namjoon?”
Namjoon feels a bit relieved for the difficult conversation ahead. He’d offered to all the students that they could use his first name. It helped level the hierarchy of the classroom, and it definitely made conversations like this seem more informal.
“I saw you at the cafe the other day,” Namjoon starts, setting down his paper and walking in front of the table that lines the Smartboard behind him.
Jungkook smiles a bit wider, “I know! It’s always funny seeing teachers outside of class.”
Namjoon chuckles. He remembers being like that, too. Wait, that’s not what this is about. “I also saw your friend.”
Jungkook tilts his head, eyes turned to the ceiling as he processes the information. “My friend?”
Namjoon narrows his gaze, not sure if Jungkook is playing dumb or really isn’t grasping it. If it’s the latter, it’s a good thing Namjoon stepped in because the boy is more naive than he expected. “Your friend with the pink hair.”
Jungkook’s eyes snap back to Namjoon. His cheeks turn a bit pink as he shrugs his shoulders. “Ah, him. That’s, yeah, that’s my friend.”
Namjoon straightens his glasses and tries to hold his shoulders back. When he practiced in the mirror, this pose looked relaxed yet strong. “Jungkook, you’re a college student, but you’re still young. You have many possibilities ahead of you. Some of them might seem more exciting than others, but you need to think about how what you do or who you associate yourself with now might affect your future. I try not to individualize praise or show favoritism, but you’re a good student. I can tell you’re hard-working. I just want you to think seriously about who you are getting involved with and make the best choices for yourself.”
Namjoon wants to pat Jungkook on the shoulder as the boy sinks in a bit more at Namjoon’s speech, but he refrains. Jungkook fluffs the back of his bedhead, not looking at Namjoon. “Ah, yeah, I appreciate your advice. Especially about me being a hard worker.”
Namjoon nods, giving a sympathetic smile. He was a junior in college once. Very recently in fact. He knows that there is a lot going on and a lot of tough choices.
“But Jimin isn’t as bad as people make him seem!” Jungkook suddenly blurts out. He seems surprised as Namjoon that he just said it, taking a step back like Namjoon might physically reprimand him.
“Who?” Namjoon asks.
“Jimin, my friend,” Jungkook says. Ah, the pink-haired man is named Jimin. It rings a bell in Namjoon’s skull, maybe having seen it in an article or two about Kitty Gang. But the real concern is Jungkook’s deeper than he thought, defending these people.
But there’s really nothing more he can do, Namjoon thinks as he sighs. He’s just a concerned teacher. He has no proof, and the only preemptive precaution he can do is send a notice to the university of potential care. That might be sent to Jungkook’s parents, and Namjoon doesn’t want to get all that involved.
“Look,” Namjoon tries, seeing Jungkook get more and more uncomfortable. “Just know I’m here if you need someone to talk to, okay? And if things get bad, you can reach out to me.”
“Things couldn’t get worse,” Jungkook says to the floor, where his eyes are now glued. 
Jungkook’s word choice confuses Namjoon. He tries to lean into Jungkook’s field of vision. “Has something already happened?”
Jungkook lips part before he’s vigorously shaking his head no. Namjoon takes a deep breath through his nose and heads to the door, letting Jungkook know he can leave now. He can’t press this anymore or it might turn around on him.
“But if they do,” he adds kindly, just so Jungkook knows he’s here. Jungkook nods, cheeks a little red, and heads down the hall at a brisk pace.
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Again, Namjoon finds himself in awe of how his students manage to study the material but not really pay attention to the details. Three students in a row wrote 7100s instead of 1700s. Is this the power of test anxiety?
Shaking his head, he makes note of the error just so the students are aware, but continues to read through the passages to check the content. He’s starting to think he may need to change cafes soon. This one is starting to fill with negative energy, too many times he’s been here frustrated, tired, and underpaid.
It’s midterms, so the place is also brimming with the anxiety of students. The chatter that boomed weeks before is now filled with grumbling, complaints, and unspoken stress that somehow rings the loudest in the large cafe. Students mill in and out, some stopping by for distractions or to cheer on friends, so Namjoon just hunkers down and tries to focus on the fourteenth response to how Michelangelo Caravaggio influenced other Baroque painters.
So it’s no surprise that he doesn’t look up when the door opens. Doesn’t bother when he hears hushed whispers and girls giggling. Doesn’t glance when someone walks past his table. He only looks up when the chair across from his squeaks against the floor and someone plops down, elbows on the table and leather jacket fringe spilling onto his essays.
“Heard you’re interested in me,” a voice practically purrs. Namjoon frowns, wondering who would interrupt his work.
When he looks up, he decides he really needs to change cafes.
Soft, plush lips spread so wide across a face that almost looks cherub-like as eyes crinkle from the power of the grin, a head propped by ringed-fingers tilting this way and that. Newly dyed pink hair brushes back and forth over dark eyebrows.
Jimin.
Namjoon’s pen drops from his hand. He watches the barista stare him down in shock, a previous student who must know who Jimin is. Shit shit shit. Namjoon closes his eyes to process, then immediately opens them, not sure what will happen if he takes his eyes off the man.
“Not exactly interested,” Namjoon quips.
“Oh?” Jimin’s lips pull together to pout. Namjoon’s terrified that his first thought is cute. “But Jungkookie said you even pulled him aside to chat about me.”
Namjoon blanches at the man.
“It’s okay,” Jimin sighs, lifting his head to turn in the chair, crossing his legs casually. When he tosses his head over his shoulder and winks at Namjoon, Namjoon balls his fists against the flutter in his chest. He’s not attractive, he’s dangerous. The reminder is right there on his jacket, the edge of a sparkly “K” visible in the creases of leather. “Everyone is interested in me these days. Has to be my cute face. Don’t you agree?”
Namjoon chokes on air. The man laughs at that, doubling over. The sound is similar to glass tinkling in a sink, the sound soft but not quite shattering, but it rings louder than anything else in the cafe to Namjoon. He’s not the only one, several others turning in irritation then immediately going back to their work when they see who it is.
Jimin must be a notable figure in the gang, Namjoon assumes. Even the kids here know who he is.
“I am not interested in you,” Namjoon finally musters when the man’s laughs die down. “I’m interested in Jungkook having a-”
“Oh my god,” Jimin clasps his hands over his mouth before he’s bracing on the table to lean in close. Namjoon gasps at the sudden intrusion of personal space, and the smell of oil and something fruity fills his lungs. “Teacher, you’re interested in one of your students?”
“What? No!” Namjoon hisses, eyes darting this way and that for anyone who might have heard. But the one place he can’t look is in the sharp eyes boring into him, an eyebrow quirked in his peripheral. He coughs and adds, “Mind your distance.”
Jimin snorts. As he leans back, a smirk spreads on his face. He tips the chair back, balancing on the back two legs. Namjoon wishes they would slip on the floor. “No, sir, I think you should mind your distance. Moreover, mind your business.”
Namjoon gives the man his attention again, only to settle him with a cold look.
“Jungkookie is one of mine, you see. He’s like family. Don’t go giving him silly ideas like backing away from me,” Jimin drops the chair to the ground, and Namjoon curses the fact that he jumps at the thud. “He can’t leave me. You hear? So butt out of your students’ lives and mind your own business.”
Namjoon feels his cheeks heat at that, immediately pissed off by this, this punk trying to tell him what to do. But before he can even continue, Jimin’s hand is on his. It’s gentle at first, sliding up, until he’s sitting on the pulse point of Namjoon’s wrist. Namjoon looks down, Jimin’s hand surprisingly small and warm, but the rings feel cold against his palm.
“Wouldn’t want anything to happen to you, now would we?”
Namjoon feels the words shock him. Like a bolt of electricity running from where Jimin’s thumb pinches his pressure point up into the back of his skull. He cringes, not sure if Jimin’s actually doing something or if it’s the mere weight of his insinuation making him uncomfortable. He glares at him, but Jimin’s just smiling pleasantly at where Namjoon’s pulse races beneath his thumb.
“Looks like you got the message,” he hums, turning Namjoon’s wrist over. He places the pen back in his hand and pats it lightly. “You should focus on your actual work, teacher. Help all those students fulfill their dreams of working in cafes or an office or something.”
Jimin shrugs lightly as he stands. Namjoon, on the other hand, feels frozen. He even finds himself nodding when Jimin tilts his head in search of a response. When he does, the man smiles brightly and claps a hand on Namjoon’s shoulder. Much the way Namjoon wanted to do it to Jungkook to get his point across, the sincerity of his words.
And Jimin’s words had been Wouldn’t want anything to happen to you, now would we?
When Jimin’s hand leaves him, the spot somehow feels warmer. His pulse is still racing not only in his wrists but in his ears. He can’t help but turn to watch the man leave, noting the way everyone else watches, too. And damn it all, he’s reminded of how good he looks from behind. More so than the toned figure visible in his loose clothes, it’s the air he exudes. Reckless and brazen.
And even worse, something in Namjoon wants to know what would happen. What that anything could be from a man like Jimin.
This is part 1. Click here for part 2!
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fuckedurbias · 5 years ago
Text
enemies to lovers (but not really) - yoo kihyun
genre: angst + smutty af
requested? nope
word count: 7.7k !!!
warnings: cursing, alcohol mentions, the smut is dirty af i can’t put it all in a warning oop
A/N: i made kihyun basically a bully and a giant asshole but ik he’s a soft baby and a lovely boy but i just have a lot of pent up feelings towards him, i can’t admit my feelings for him so i just use hatred as an excuse okay its a personal problem. pls dont hate me!!
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You couldn’t get rid of him no matter how hard you tried. It was hard enough that he was involved in your close friend group and you had to see his face often, but he also genuinely enjoyed seeing you get so heated over the mere sight of him.
“For once, for once can he be working when we hang out or I don’t know… maybe just not be invited?” You groan, angrily looking out the window of Changkyun’s car with your arms firmly crossed.
“Look we can’t just not invite him, he’s still our friend. It’s not our fault neither of you can stand each other, you’re lucky either of you get invited to these things do you really think any of us want to deal with the never ending bickering from you two?” Changkyun shook his head, dreading the thought of all the arguing he’s going to have to deal with tonight.
“He starts it! You really expect me to just take his little digs at me?” You huff.
“He only does it because he knows for sure you will fight back; I’ve told you this how many times? Hell, he’s told you that himself yet you still give him the reaction he wants, if you just ignored him he’d stop” “I really doubt that” You mumble, staring at the road ahead. Changkyun never beats around the bush with you, but that is why he was your best friend, both as feisty and fiery as each other. It is probably a bad dynamic since you both just feed off each others intense vibes and don’t hold back with others who aren’t either of you, who often can’t handle such honesty and bluntness. Most times you love Kyun being honest with you, but times like this; when talking about the person who makes your blood boil more than anyone else, you really hated it. Maybe tonight you will take Kyun’s advice and ignore Kihyun, just to prove him wrong when Kihyun continues to terrorise you and he can finally get all the blame he deserves.
As soon as you got out of the car you could see your group of boys through the big window at the front of the restaurant, sitting on the table right next to the window as per usual. Thank god they were all talking and too preoccupied in looking at the menus arguing over what they were going to order to notice you and Kyun walking in. There is seriously only 1 whole brain cell in this goddamn group and it belongs to you. Without you they wouldn’t get anywhere. You hide behind Kyun as you enter, both so Kihyun won’t see you and pester you before you even get to the table and so you can see where he is sitting before you reach the table and plan how you will avoid him as much as you can. You and Kyun reach the table and stand there silent for at least 30 seconds before any of them notice you, they were really going at it between themselves. Sitting on the wall side was Minhyuk, Kihyun, Jooheon & Hyungwon. Facing the rest of the restaurant and their backs to you and Kyun right now was Shownu and Wonho, sitting on the side closest to the window with the two free seats for you and Kyun next to them at the end of the table. Finally, Hyungwon turns around from watching the other three boys argue next to him to see you and Kyun standing there, staring at them with the biggest look of disapproval on your faces. He smiles and nods, nobody else noticing you. Minhyuk, Kihyun & Jooheon were all arguing over what food they wanted to get and Shownu was asking them, practically begging them all to just settle on either one meal or one meat option each for the barbecue otherwise it would end up being too much money and not all of it would be eaten anyways. Wonho was just disassociating on his phone. Kyun clears his throat, still no response, so he just sighs and pulls out the seat next to Shownu, leaving you to sit on the end of the table across from Hyungwon. He knew you would appreciate that, wanting to be as far away from Kihyun as possible, but two people down from you on the other side was still too close. The other 3 boys on the other side all look up when they hear the chairs being pulled out, nod at you both and go back to their food issues.
“Look, you three need to shut up for a moment and we need to ask these two what they would like now. So you three need to settle your issues ASAP otherwise this will just end up like last time” Shownu demands, tone very clearly desperate. “I’m okay with anything, I just want food” you say, which earns a smirk and a loud nose exhale from Kihyun, whatever that was meant to mean you had no idea and you didn’t really care to know. You didn’t even look his way, focusing on the menu Shownu handed to Kyun.
“Same for me, as long as you get some kind of beef for the barbecue I don’t care. Also as long as you three stop arguing so I can eat quicker” Kyun says, handing the menu back to Shownu. The other three pout and huff, settling on a meal and a barbecue option amongst each other. You’re rather shocked Kihyun hasn’t made a single dig at you yet, this is a new record for him, but you put it down to him being more concerned about his empty stomach for the time being. Hopefully when the food arrives he’s too busy scoffing food down his throat to be bothering you.
As per usual, Wonho ended up being the barbecue dad as he put the first load of meat onto the barbecue the sound of the satisfying sizzle filling your ears and everyone was happily digging into the dishes. The last dish arrives and you gasp in excitement and try to quickly finish your current food so you can grab some of the new one before all the boys finish it first with their bottomless stomachs. “Woah, relax and stop acting like a pig. The food won’t go anywhere” Kihyun laughs, widening his eyes at you in a mocking way.
“Kihyun what the fuck? Mind your own business and back off, dude” Kyun snaps.
‘Ah, here we go’ you think to yourself. You feel that pang in your stomach, wanting so badly to snap back at him instantly but you remember the car ride and decide to stay quiet. For some reason what he said this time actually hurts you. Why? You’re not sure, you hate it, you feel weak. You feel like running to the bathroom to hide the hurt that you’re pretty sure is showing clearly on your face, especially since you usually snap back instantly. You ignore Kihyun, don’t even glance at him and just continue to grab yourself a nice amount of the new dish and place it into your little bowl, trying your best to eat it without looking too upset. A few seconds later, Wonho finishes cooking the beef and takes everyone’s bowls and gives them a fair amount of it before putting the next load of meat on.
“Are you okay?” Hyungwon asks you quietly, leaning across the table. “Yeah I’m fine, just really tired from all my classes today” You give him a soft smile and a nod, appreciative that he actually checked up you even though you hate that it’s clear you are upset.
“Ah okay, I was worried that you we- “
“How has everyone’s week been?” Minhyuk yells from his end of the table, largely exaggerating the loudness of the restaurant chatter and music.
“We’re all University students, how interesting could any of our weeks have been?” Jooheon replies, beef stuffed in his mouth. “Well I’m sorry I’m just trying to make fucking conversation since none of you have made an attempt to” Minhyuk snaps, gesturing his hands out to everyone around the table and then clasping them together.
“Jooheon are you trying to imply that you actually go to class and spend your time outside of class actually studying?” Wonho says, not even glancing up as he turns over all the meat. Everyone on the table cracks up laughing.
“Hey! I was not implying anything, even if when I don’t go to classes; which I do most of the time by the way, I just stay home which still isn’t interesting… and I do study!” Jooheon leans back against the wall, arms firmly crossed with a grumpy pout on his face.
“It’s okay Joo, I think staying home and watching Netflix… or studying and going to class like you apparently do, is a lot more interesting and entertaining than being one of those students that goes out all the time and constantly gets drunk, high and is basically brain-dead 24/7” You say, stuffing the meat in your mouth into your cheeks.
“You can’t really say that when you’ve never been to even ONE party since you’ve started at University, you wouldn’t have any idea of how it’s ‘not fun’ or what fun even is. You just go to class every day and study and then stay cooped up in your dorm every weekend like a complete loser,” Kihyun doesn’t even breathe once, “oh and please, don’t talk with your mouth full”. Minhyuk whacks the back of Kihyun’s head, looking at you with sorrow. You felt your blood pressure rising, wishing so badly you could split his chopsticks in half and shove them up his ass. However, you just sat there looking down at your now empty bowl trying to hide how red your face now was and your throat closing up, feeling like you were going to cry out of frustration. If he made one more mean comment you were certain you were going to snap, and by that you mean snapping those chopsticks in half and sticking them where the sun doesn’t shine; which is absolutely nowhere near Kihyun.
You guys had finished all the food and were now having a nice catch up, telling each other the funny happenings that had occurred within the last month and a bit that you hadn’t met up properly as a whole group. The conversation though, had drifted to Changkyun, Wonho & Minhyuk ganging up on Jooheon and telling you all stories about the embarrassing things Joo did in high school.
“I cannot believe you did that!! When you were Vice Captain?! In front of the entire school board?!” You screamed.
“Don’t forget that it was a whole school assembly, too! He really just whipped out a little impromptu ‘hip hop dance routine’ in front of the whole school and the school board, you should’ve seen the look of pure horror on the Vice Principal’s face. He got in so much trouble for that and almost got his position taken away” Minhyuk said with a shit-eating grin.
“You’re the one that promised me if I did that you’d pay for my lunch everyday for the rest of the semester, it’s your fault!” Joo whines.
“And I did didn’t I? So why are you complaining?” Minhyuk sasses. “BECAUSE YOU’RE SITTING HERE TELLING EVERYONE ABOUT AN EMBARRASSING THING I DID BUT IT WAS YOU WHO MADE ME DO IT MAKING ME LOOK LIKE I DID IT OUT OF MY OWN ACCORD!”
“Because it’s a funny story, and I didn’t force you to, you had the choice to say no”
“NO YOU DIDN’T GIVE ME A CHOICE STOP LY- “
“Okay enough you two children” Shownu interjects. If he didn’t stop them now this would continue for way too long, they’re worse than you and Kihyun.
“Oh my gosh wait, Wonho! What about that time you told Minhyuk you’d give him $50 if he licked the swing-set” Changkyun gasps with the sudden memory.
“Wow, yes! The chain handle part”, Wonho laughs “and he actually did it and ended up in the nurse’s office because he instantly got really sick and had to stay home for the rest of week!”. Everyone bursts into laughter.
“Hey I don’t regret a thing, that $50 was worth it. I bought some sick gym shoes with that money” Minhyuk smiles. You were in tears with laughter.
“Man I wish I knew you guys in high school, you seem like you were even funnier and dumber back then” You cry.
“Hey, me and Kyun weren’t and aren’t dumb it was and is just those two” Wonho acts offended. You really do wish you knew them back then; it would’ve definitely made your dull high school life a lot brighter. You’re grateful you know them now of course, they make your stressful, overwhelming University life a lot more bearable. You and Kyun were both Literature students, Minhyuk, Hyungwon & Shownu all Dance & Performance students and then Joo & Wonho were Music Production students, where they met Kihyun as he is a Music Performance student and they work together a lot. The boys that already knew each other from school brought along their friends that they met in class who didn’t have friends to hang out with yet, and then you all became a close nit group and all friends with each other separately… well, except for two of you.
“I don’t know Wonho, I’d say you’re also pretty dumb” You say slowly with a sneaky grin, “are we not going to address that very dumb, embarrassing thing you accidentally did in class no less than what, two weeks ago?”. He looks at you confused.
“Remember, Jooheon messaged the group chat instantly screaming out of secondhand embarrassment?” You push.
“Oh- OH GOD yeah we aren’t going to address it remember I asked specifically for nobody to ever talk about it again that’s why we haven’t spoke about it and won’t” Wonho blushes, “it was very traumatic for me and I removed it from my brain and now you’ve reminded me and now I’m going to cry myself to sleep tonight”.
“But you admit that you are pretty dumb, right? At least sometimes” You laugh.
“Are you serious? You’re straight making fun of him for something that he seems genuinely humiliated by and didn’t ever want to talk about again. That’s so rude why would you joke about something like that?” Kihyun snaps at you before Wonho can reply. You feel that pang in your stomach again, genuinely taken aback.
“Dude chill, I know she was just playing around. I was also joking, it’s not that deep” Wonho replies, glaring at Kihyun. You slam your hands on the table and stand up, staring at him like you’re about to stab him with the barbecue scissors. The rest of the boys stare at you in shock, expecting you to rip into him. Instead of doing that like you wanted to, you just turn around and walk out the door of the restaurant, quickly wiping away the tears that are falling out of your eyes.
You sat on the bench outside the restaurant, far away from the window where the boys sat so they couldn’t see you. Your elbows are propped up on your thighs, with with your face resting in your palms and you’re staring at the ground. Your tears are dried by this point but you know if you think too hard they will fall again; which your brain keeps trying to do but you refuse to let it, you will just think of nothing. Your phone keeps vibrating and you know its probably one of the boys - most likely Kyun, trying to text or call you but you really don’t want to talk to any of them right now. You’ll just get the bus or train home later. Suddenly, you feel someone’s hand on your back as you see them sit down next to you. It was Changkyun.
“Hey” He says quietly. You don’t reply.
“Just so you know, before you even got out the door we all let Kihyun have it. For real, none of us are okay with what he was doing tonight it was ridiculous and not okay at all” Kyun grabs your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. You reciprocate.
“He was a straight bully tonight; it wasn’t even just the typical little petty digs they were actually mean, especially since you weren’t fighting back. I’m sorry for saying that he only does it because you react, you should’ve defended yourself” He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand.
“I- I tried to but, for some reason I just didn’t… I couldn’t. I wanted to tear him to shreds but my body just wouldn’t follow through” You choked out, tears welling up in your eyes again.
“It’s okay, just know that none of us boys are okay with what he did tonight and I mean you saw us defending you when you were there. We’ve made sure he knows that he won’t ever be allowed to come out with us again if he’s going to pull that again” Kyun looks into your eyes, making sure you know that he’s serious. You smile up at him, feeling so cared for and loved as a tear falls from your eye. It was a happy tear. Kyun wipes it off your cheek with his free hand.
“Come on, I’ll drive you home” Kyun stands up in front of you and helps you up.
“Thank you, Kyun”, You say, looking up at him for a few seconds before wrapping your arms around his torso “I know we joke around a lot and fight, and I know you find affection gross but, I really do love you a lot and I’m so grateful for you” you silently cry into his chest. Thank god he’s wearing black.
“It’s okay, I love you too. Also I don’t find it gross, alright, just too much of it but at times like this it’s nice” He says. You giggle as he softly pokes your cheek, keeping his hand locked with yours as he walks you to his car.
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Changkyun had actually convinced you to come to a party, you don’t know why he wanted you to go, but he did. All the boys were going to be there why did he need you there? He said it was just to get you out of the house so you can clear your mind and forget about your worries for a bit, but you weren’t convinced that was the only reason why, but it was all he would tell you when you would press for an answer. It’s not that you didn’t like parties - you did, it was more the people that were going to be there, doing drugs and all the guys that will try and get in your pants just for the sake of it rather than actually being interested in you in any way. Anyways, you decided to go for the reason he said, just to get yourself out of the house and you hadn’t had a good party in a while and a reason to get all dressed up (totally nothing to do with the reason that you knew Kihyun would be there and you wanted to prove to him that you can have a fun time). You planned your outfit in your head for days in advance, and you were so happy when it actually looked great on you and by some miracle your makeup cooperated with you and came out beautifully, too. You look hot, you’d 100% fuck yourself if you were someone else. You actually feel good about yourself and excited for this party, it really is a miracle. You weren’t going to let anything… or anyone ruin your night. You’re spritzing yourself with perfume when you here the beep of a car outside, you immediately know it’s Changkyun. You grab your bag and do one last look over of yourself in the mirror; taking a quick selfie or two, or three, and then quickly running out of the door while Changkyun beeps at you to hurry up. You run outside and while you’re trying to lock your door properly Jooheon starts beeping the car horn repeatedly, you flip him off as you watch him start laughing his ass off in the front seat. Once you lock your door you quickly walk to the back door, hearing Jooheon still laughing before you even open the door. Shownu gets out of the car so you can sit in the middle.
“You’re such a child! it really isn’t that funny” You frown, climbing into the middle seat.  Jooheon lets out a ‘hoo’ as he wipes a tear away. “I think it was hilarious” Jooheon breathes, relaxing back into the passenger seat.
“She’s right, it really wasn’t” Shownu agrees as he gets back in the seat next to you and shuts the door. Wonho and Changkyun both agree with you and Shownu. “Fuck you guys” Jooheon pouts. Changkyun turns up the radio and reverses out of your driveway. You were really excited for this party.
The music was blasting; you could feel every part of your body vibrate with the bass. It had been about 2 hours since you arrived and you were pretty tipsy, borderline drunk. You had lost sight of any of your friends, the boys, classmates or friends you made literally 5 minutes ago at this party. You’re lost in the music and the tingly, happy feeling that was overtaking your body, you’re dancing the night away, along with any worry you had about anything in your life prior to coming to this party. At least you were, until you feel someone tap you on your shoulder; which you ignored because you thought you were imagining it, and if it was real you wanted them to leave you alone because you were having fun. Unfortunately, it is real and they keep persisting so you turn around angrily. You immediately scrunch your face up in disgust. It’s Kihyun.
“I need to talk to you” He slurs, grabbing onto your shoulder for support as he almost trips onto you.
“No you don’t! Fuck off” You say in a matter-of-fact tone, immediately smack his hand off you. You storm off, Kihyun following behind you.
“Please! It’s important, please just let me do it I can’t wait until next month when I next see you to talk to you, please” He begs, yelling in your ear over the music. “Then don’t. Simple” You snap back. You walk fast, pushing through the crowd of people struggling to make it through them without tripping over, the effects of your last drink starting to push you past tipsy. You’re looking for even one of the boys or just anyone to help get Kihyun away from you, which is really hard in this state and with Kihyun hot on your trail trying to plead with you. You see Minhyuk watching a game of beer pong; cheering and being even more loud than usual. You quickly run up to him and pull on his sleeve.
“Minhyuk please help me”, you look at him with big puppy eyes “Kihyun keeps saying he needs to talk to me, he won’t leave me alone and is practically harassing me, please help”.
He looks down at you, then behind you to Kihyun, then back to you.
“Oh yeah, we all told him he should talk to you”, your face changes to one of utter confusion “you should listen to him, he wants to apologise because he genuinely feels horrible. You don’t have to accept it but I think just listening to him would be good for the both of you”. You look offended, how could the boys just do that to you? After Kihyun did that to you and made you feel like complete and utter shit? Why would you ever want to listen to him or talk to him again?
“You know that I’m always honest with you, I understand why you don’t want to talk to him or listen to him – I wouldn’t want to either if I were you, but I really think it would be good for both of you to talk out your differences and it would be better for all of us, too. As someone who loves drama, I really want the both of you to just talk shit out and at least be civil. You don’t have to forgive him but just listen to what he has to say, please” Minhyuk slurs, looking you dead in the eyes. The fact he was being so wise in this intoxicated was really saying something. You sighed, he was right. Even if you just ended up hating him more, maybe he was actually genuinely sorry and would stop being an asshole from now on. You may not forgive him, not for a while, but at least you could possibly work towards being… friends?? You turn to Kihyun, seeing him looking pretty pathetic looking at you with such pleading eyes. You take his hand and guide him through the crowd in attempt to find any kind of empty room further away from the pounding music. You doubted you would have any luck though.
Even a wardrobe would suffice but you were really struggling to find an empty room of some sort. If there wasn’t already someone passed out on the bed, throwing up in the bathroom there was a couple (or more) getting up to frisky business – and obviously you couldn’t ignore any of those situations to talk to Kihyun without disturbing what was going on in the room… or disturbing yourself with the latter. You go upstairs and most of the rooms are again, taken, but you finally come across one at the end of the hall that isn’t. You half sigh, half yell a ‘finally’ and drag him in the room, locking the door behind you. You’re so relieved to be able to finally let go of Kihyun’s hand, turning to stand in front of him with your arms crossed over your chest.
“Well?” You gesture for him to start; he just looks at you with a very vacant expression on his face and you sigh in annoyance.
“Are you going to tell me what you begged me to listen to you for? This is your only chance and I suggest you don’t waste it” You tap your foot, already getting impatient. He perks up like a little puppy, suddenly remembering what he was here for.
“Oh, right. I-uh, just wanted to apologise for the other night. I was a real asshole and there’s no excuse for the things I said and did, it wasn’t even banter or petty things like it usually is it was straight bullying and I feel horrible when I remember it. I don’t even know why I kept going after you didn’t react or respond the first time, but it doesn’t matter; point is, I’m sorry. I’m really, really, sorry” Kihyun rambles, slurring and struggling to find the right words.
“Okay. Are you happy now? That I listened to… that? Will you stop harassing me? Can I leave now?” You say barely even acknowledging his apology, you really did find it pathetic and couldn’t bare to be alone in a room with him any longer. You started to walk towards the door but Kihyun stopped you.
“Are you kidding me?” He questions angrily, grabbing your arm to stop you from leaving. You frown and smack his hand off you.
“What?” You snap.
“That’s it? You can’t even acknowledge anything I said?” He says, seeming actually hurt. “Well I for sure am not forgiving you, what else do you want me to do, Kihyun? Because I really can’t even stand being alone in this room with you right now” You try to push past him but he won’t budge.
“You don’t have to forgive me; I just want to know you actually listened to me” He says surprisingly calm. He looks like a kicked puppy and you feel so fucking strange seeing Kihyun look anything but cocky and angry for once in his life.
“You’re being ridiculous, Kihyun. Of course I listened to you why would I bring you all this way, struggle to find a room for us to use for 5 seconds to not listen to you at all? Especially if seeing you so desperate to apologise to me brings me such joy?” You say it as if you were explaining it to a child, dragging out that last sentence especially longer. You see Kihyun’s expression changing to the usual one of anger, god you’re getting so much enjoyment of having the higher ground right now.
“Not to mention”, you walk closer to his face “that ‘apology’ was nothing short of just, plain pathetic”. Using your finger to put the quotations around ‘apology’, you have the biggest smirk on your face. Kihyun runs his tongue over his cheeks as he steps closer to you, inches from your face. You don’t cower one bit, in fact you look him dead in the eyes as you chuckle.
“Pathetic?” He questions, looking down at you.
“Hopeless, pitiful, miserable, plain fucking shit or whatever you wish to call it, really” You reply, not even trying to hide your enjoyment. You barely finished your sentence before Kihyun turns you around and slams you into the wall, arms either side of your head. He did it so quickly you’re actually shocked, especially since he’s drunk and his reaction times are meant to be slower.
“You’re really, really fucking pushing it” He whispers, spacing out his words to make sure you’re perfectly understanding how angry you’re making him. “And? As if you’re going to do anything about it” You scoff, arms crossed over your chest. You refuse to show any sign of intimidation, though you actually are quite shocked right now. His gaze doesn’t move from your face, he’s breathing heavily and you hate this tension surrounding you both right now, its silent apart from the screaming of everyone outside and the muffle of the music downstairs. You see Kihyun’s gaze fall to your lips for a second, so brief that you wondered if it was even real or if you were making it up.
“See, I knew it. You’re not going to do anything because you’re just as pathetic as that apology wa-” Before you can even finish your sentence Kihyun slams his lips into yours. Your eyes are wide, part of you wants to push him away but an even bigger part of you refuses to back down. You slide on your hands to his hair, entangling your fingers in it and pulling harshly, he moans in response. He deepens the kiss, a hand on your neck and a hand on your back, pulling you closer to him. You slide your tongue against his lip and he responds by sliding his tongue in your mouth, refusing to let you take even the tiniest bit of dominance. You bite and pull on his lip as you pull away, breathless. You lean your head back on the wall as he starts leaving kisses along your jaw, moving down to your neck. Your hand is still pulling on his hair and your other one is latched onto his shoulder. His hands move down to your ass, squeezing it.
“You better not leave hickeys, we’re not high schoolers” You whisper. He lets out a scoff as he moves his hands down to your thighs, signalling for you to wrap your legs around him. You do so, kissing down his neck to his collarbones as he moves you to the bed. He throws you onto the sheets, you open your legs as he slides his body in between them. You start making out, even more heated than before, your lips and tongues moving in sync. Kihyun moves his hand up to your hair, pulling on it as you whine and press your hips up into his, he grinds down against you in response. You slide your hands under his shirt, digging your nails into his chest and he groans as he continues grinding into you harshly. His hand that is on your hip slides down your thigh, moving it up and around his back as he pulls away from the kiss, breathless and he sits up to slide his shirt off. For fucks sake, why does he have to be so attractive yet so annoying.
“Are you going to actually do anything or just continue to play around?” You pant, staring up at him. Before he can answer or do anything in response you flip the both of you over so you’re now straddling him. You roll your hips over his crotch a few times, feeling his bulge very prominently through your panties under your skirt. He tries to flip you back over but you put your hands on his shoulders and give him a look that makes him fall back and give up. You slide your shirt off, revealing your cute, lacy bra that you always wore to these kind of occasions in case you did get some action and would look at that? This time you actually did. You give Kihyun a passionate kiss on the lips and pull away quickly to start kissing down his jaw agonisingly slow, he accidentally lets a little whimper slip as his eyes flutter shut which makes you giggle softly, he’s actually cute when he’s needy. You then move to his neck, then his chest, then his stomach all the way down past his belly button and stop at the hem of his jeans. He snaps his eyes open as he looks down at you with dark eyes and you just bite your lip and give a bratty smile in response. You don’t break eye contact as you undo his belt, pulling it out and throwing it on the ground to then unzip his jeans and yank them off. You walk your fingers up his thigh, stopping just before you reach his bulge.
“Stop teasing or I swear to go-” He growls, you started palming him through his boxers before he even finished his sentence and he ended it in the cutest whine you’ve ever heard. You smile as his hips snap up instinctively at even the tiniest bit of friction as you slowly palm him, curling your fingers to fit around his shaft. He has one hand gripping the sheets and another around the headboard, he’s trying to keep his hips still but is really struggling to not roll against your hand. You decide he’s had enough teasing for now and stop palming him to pull down the waistband of his boxers, pulling them all the way off. His dick snaps up as soon as the boxers are off it, hitting his stomach and he grunts at the sudden contact of air against his throbbing cock. Once his boxers are discarded, you wrap your hand around the bottom of his shaft and start to pump him, flicking your wrist as your hand moves up and down. Kihyun immediately snaps his hips up, breathing out a ‘fuck’ as he watches you through half close eyelids. You hate to admit it but, he looks so pretty right now. Precum is already starting to leak out of his tip, so you bring your mouth to it and slowly lick it off with the tip of your tongue. Kihyun throws his head back with a choked moan as you slowly circle your tongue around his tip, you place your lips around and suck harshly, never stopping the movement of your hand. His hand gripping the sheet starts feeling around for your head, gripping onto your hair and trying to push you down so you’d take him in your mouth.
“Keep being pushy and I will stop everything and walk out of this room” You snap. He immediately loosens his grip on your hair and you go back to sucking on his tip again, flattening your tongue as you slowly take him in your mouth. Kihyun grunts and bites his lip hard, trying to stop any kind of moan from slipping out. He looks down at you as you’re bobbing your head up and down, bringing your hand up to meet your lips as you pump him at the same time.
“You know, if you weren’t so annoying I’d say you look so hot right now” He says, struggling to speak without it coming out in a moan. You roll your eyes, he was very dumb to say that because you are literally sucking his dick and could bite it off at any moment… but he also implied that you look hot, which sent tingles right down to your clit. You removed your hands and moved your mouth all the way down to the bottom of his shaft, almost gagging as he hit the back of your throat. His grip on your hair tightens again and he guides your head up and down, your grip hard on his thighs as you try not to gag. You’ve hollowed out your cheeks and flattened out your tongue as you suck along with your head movements.
“I’m so close” Kihyun breathes, the muscles in his lower stomach visibly tightening. You remove his hand from your hair so that you can fasten your pace, bringing your hand back in to pump him again. He throws his back, cursing repeatedly and you feel his dick twitch in your mouth. Right as he reaches the peak of his high you take him out of your mouth and remove your hand, sitting up on his leg to watch and relish in his agony.  His head snaps up as his face darkens immediately.
“Oh baby, you are going to regret that” Kihyun coos, the way ‘baby’ rolls off his tongue unsettles you and causes a very hot feeling in your core.
“Don’t call me baby” You command, returning his dark gaze. He sits up and pushes you down on the bed, your head hanging off the end of the bed. He reaches his hand down under your skirt, pressing his index finger hard along your slit; applying the most pressure where your clit is. You bite your lip, whining a little.
“Wow you’re already so wet and I’ve done absolutely nothing” He says cockily. “If you’re really going to be this cocky already you better be bloody good” You snap, rolling your hips against his finger. He chuckles and nods, fair argument. He starts to rub your clit through your panties, making you gasp at the sudden movement. He uses his other hand to unclasp your bra and slide it off your arms, he throws it to the side and immediately starts to kiss and suck on your tits. You run your hands through his hair as he assaults your chest and clit at the same time. He moves your panties to the side and slides his index and middle finger into your hole, moving his thumb to your clit. You let a loud moan slip, his fingers curling right up to your sweet spot. After he’s pleased with the pretty bruises he’s left all over your tits he slides his lips down your body until he’s at the hem of your skirt. You lift your head up to watch him, he smirks up at you as he slides his other hand under your skirt to the hem of your panties, pulling them down your thighs slowly. Knowing what was about to come gave you such a restless rush in your core. You kicked your legs, ushering him to hurry up and he smiles at your desperateness, he pulls them off one leg and holds your other leg up and slides them off. Once discarded, he bends your leg over his shoulder and he lays back down on his stomach, lining his head in between your legs. He starts to kiss up your thigh, stopping for a split second as he reaches your heat before lifting your skirt over his head. He then uses his fingers to part your lips as he licks a stripe up your slit. You arch your back, both hands moving to his hair immediately. He doesn’t waste a second before he starts kissing and sucking on your clit and his fingers return to pumping themselves in and out of your entrance. All the pleasure from when he was only fingering you before returns and intensifies, not having to catch back up to where it was before. At this rate you will be coming within seconds. You pull on Kihyun’s hair as you push your hips down to his face, begging for more. He flicks his tongue against your clit rapidly as he curls his two fingers up into your g-spot at the same pace, making you scream. You have to swing one hand over to the sheets to grip tightly otherwise you were afraid you’d explode. You hated that you were about to come this quick, but you just put it down to waiting for your turn for what felt like hours. You don’t tell Kihyun that you’re close because you already know what he will do, so you just don’t say anything and hope you come before he can stop. He starts sucking on your clit and feels it throb as your walls tighten around his fingers, he decides to let you build it up even more before he stops. You start panting and whining, curses falling from your lips as your eyes squeeze shut. He feels your thighs and muscles tightening around his head and once your hips start to rise more against his face, he stops and pulls his head back out from under your skirt. You don’t realise for a few seconds but once you do you immediately sit up and try to kick him, but he just smirks and slides you over to the top of the bed on the pillows. He wastes no time in pumping himself and lining himself up in front of your entrance, you look down, wide eyed. You didn’t expect this, but you hate how much you want it. He slides himself in with a groan, and you wrap your legs around his hips. He snaps his hips into yours and leans his head into your shoulder as he starts thrusting. The thrusts are deep and at a moderate pace, not wanting to go too fast just yet. Your high already starts building up again, your nails are digging into his shoulders, but with the sweat and movement of his body with his thrusts they start slipping and leaving deep scratch marks down his back. He hissed at the stinging sensation of the scratches coming into contact with the air and saltiness of his sweat, he loved the light pain of it. You couldn’t even moan as you felt like you were about to burst, just whine and whimper, trying to grab back onto Kihyun’s shoulder when your nails reach the end of his back. You tighten your thighs around his hips as your walls tighten around his cock thrusting into your g-spot. Your back arches as you start panting and whimpering, Kihyun holding onto the headboard to be able to reach you deeper. He has his forehead against yours, eyes shut tight as he tries so hard to maintain. You finally come undone as your walls throb around him, pushing him closer to his high. You’re moaning what sounds like his name amongst other things, which is secretly driving him crazy in the best way possible. While you’re still in the middle of your orgasm Kihyun flips you over, shoving your face into the pillow which catches you by surprise. He pulls your hips up with him as he gets up on his knees and starts to thrust faster, hitting you from a new angle but still so deep and so sweet. Your walls are still clenched tightly around him, not coming down from your high but rather building a new one from where you were just at which you really aren’t sure if you can handle. Kihyun licks his fingers and starts to rub your clit with his four fingers, sending unfathomable pleasure straight to the deepest part of your core. You push your hips back against him as you shove your face deeper into the pillow and grip the pillow until your knuckles turn white, about to cry from the pleasure you’re feeling everywhere. You’re sure you’re about to explode for real this time. You let out a muffled scream into the pillow as you come again, your body shakes as it rocks through your whole body. Kihyun’s thrust become sloppy as he feels your walls throbbing against him and sees your juices dripping down your thighs and it pushes him over the edge, he rubs your clit a few more times as he reaches the peak of his high. Before he ejaculates he flips you back over so he can come all over your chest as he pumps himself empty. He’s letting out low moans as he looks down at your face, loving how fucked out and flushed you look. Once he’s all empty he falls back onto the bed next to you.
“I think I win that one” He sighs, breathless. You just turn to look at him, your expression unreadable. You struggle to get yourself up, going blind as you try not to fall on the floor after getting up and hold onto the bed for balance. You walk to the bathroom to clean yourself up, using toilet paper to clean up your chest, noticing all the hickeys but not complaining about them. You brush your hair out neatly with your fingers and wipe off your smudged lipstick and use another bit of toilet paper to dab some sweat off your forehead and face. Once you’re satisfied you walk back out into the bedroom to see Kihyun hasn’t moved, you start to get dressed back into your clothes. Kihyun watches you, not saying anything and you’re glad he isn’t. As you walk past him to leave the room he stops you and grabs your wrist.
“I really am sorry, though” He smiles softly. You snap your hand away harshly.
“You’re going to have to do better than that”
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tracle0 · 4 years ago
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hello hey hi and a splendid saturday to you, I come bearing a question for the wip4 gang and that question is: what is each of their most significant memories? additionally, are there any memories they would jump at the chance to get rid of? ok bye please have an excellent day \o/ (and before you yell at me I'm going to sleep now I swear)
I’m glad that when you even LOOK at me you think ‘oh sleep time’ I am Pavlov and you are my dog and this metaphor is stupid I will answer your question now
I’m gonna... assume this is uhh pre-story question because I know for a fact that at least three characters would change their answer to at least one question if it was post-story. My house, my rules. 
Keaton’s most significant memory is p r o b a b l y the time when he was in year 12 (17), and he was called to the head of sixth form office. He’d been at this school since year 7 (11), and had realised he was trans in year 8 (12/13), and had then been fighting for the right to use his bathroom ever since. This had previously resulted in punishment. In year 10 (15), he made progress, being allowed to use the disabled bathroom, but he wanted the men's bathroom dammit. 
Anyway, called to head of sixth form, assumed it was related to that issue. Pessimistic about the whole ordeal. 
Turned out there was another student in like year 9 who had come out as trans as well, and the school had gone ‘UHHHHHHHHH LET’S DO BETTER THIS TIME’ so Keaton, being the only other trans student in this rural Norfolk school, was assigned as her... mentor??? I guess? 
He was half like ‘fuck y’all’ and half like ‘I will not let this young woman go through the same shit you all put me through, I will guard her like a HAWK’. He was still not allowed to use his bathroom, but he makes her fight a little easier; she’s allowed to use her bathroom in year 10, after he left. They still meet up every now and then for coffee. 
Memory to be rid of: First day on a Professional Set, he walked backwards whilst taking a tea order and fell into a bin. Terrible first impression. He still got jobs afterwards, but sometimes people will be like ‘oh yeah I’ve heard of you you’re the bin guy’ and he wants to punch them. 
This is getting long already I’m gonna put the rest under a cut
I know you’re here for Mika so I’ll go to them, most significant memory: probably his first pride? He didn’t intend to go to pride, but he was in the city on the day of pride and just walked past all these rainbows and flags and people being so open and proud and themselves. He was maybe fifteen, and had been having those fun Gender Feels that you try and hide at age fifteen, because you’re only fifteen and most people tell you you’re not old enough to know anything about yourself, yknow? 
Someone gave him a flyer at one point, and when he got back to his Ultra Christian Household, he hid it and would read through it some nights. When he had it memorised, he started to explore more about queerness online. He’s the guy who can tell you all about LGBT history due to this research. This was only done in the city on the library computers, where his trail couldn’t be tracked. It gave him some sort of start for labels, some sort of safe space, some sort of New Approach to everything he’d been feeling. 
Memory to be rid of: last day in Ultra Christian School. He was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school and it wasn’t awful until he was about fourteen, at which point he started to grow his hair. They told him to cut it constantly. He was punished for it. He kept the hair. 
It got bad but it wasn’t until he was about seventeen that it really buckled; first real notable psychotic episode. He told people, they were convinced it was some sort of possession, convinced he’d sinned, convinced of all these horrible things about him and drove him out until he could ‘act normally’ again. He did not go back. 
In all honesty, the second he turned 18, he took his savings from various dead grandparents and a part-time job, bought a second-hand (maybe third-hand) camper-van and left home. 
He goes back for Christmas only. 
Mooooving on, Lynne! Who I do not talk about enough; she’s also part of the documentary squad, and actually the reason the whole squad exists. Producer and director, she’s very cool okcoolthanks
Most significant memory: That one time she was thirteen and her parents had officially declared their divorce. She was living with her dad and it was really, really weird and she was not enjoying it. Divorce is a big deal to some families, and this family was one of them, and she was really unsure about her entire future. 
Cue Mika, young and mostly obedient, kicking down the door (not literally) and kidnapping her (again, not literally) to come pick blackberries with him (very literally). They stayed out until the sun went down in early Autumn. She forgot about the divorce for a small amount of time. They ended the day eating fish and chips straight from the paper whilst sitting in a tree and talking about nothing important at all. 
They made jam out of the blackberries the next day. It was gross. Both of them refused to admit it was gross. 
Memory to be rid of: She went camping one time with friends from school. Lynne is Muslim and so did not go to Catholic school with Mika, they just lived near each other, and so school friends went ‘hey we’re going camping you should come’ she did come. 
It was a mess. They were fifteen and determined to drink, and English peer pressure to drink is weird, so she did take some drink but didn’t drink it. Someone threw up on her tent and blamed it on her. No-one bought any food or water, the only thing she was able to drink was lemonade bought for mixing and that had ants in it within two hours. 
She woke up first and left them all there, then walked home because she was meant to be lift-sharing. It took an hour and a half. She preferred that to being in the car. 
That group wasn’t her only group of friends, but it was her main group, so things were awkward for a while. 
Moving on from Documentary Squad, Percival! Percy Percival who I wish I could call Percy because it’s so much easier to write. 
Significant memory: winning an art contest when he was like. Eleven. Really living the high-life, ol’ Percival. It was a city-wide contest, with various age categories. He was part of the 11-18 clump, which put him at a disadvantage, but he still won. As a reward, his art was replicated on a mural in one of the shopping malls in town, and he got some fancy vouchers for a fancy art shop in the city. 
Winning the art contest made him go ‘oh wait I’m actually good at this thing I really like doing I should learn how to do that more’ and you could barely pry him away from his sketchbook from that point on. 
Those vouchers were stored away until he was 14 and doing art GCSE, at which point he bought a nice sketchbook and oil paints. He’s now very good at oil painting. I hate him for being good at oil painting. Oil painting SUCKS. 
Memory to be rid of: I’m torn between three and they’re all similar so I’ll go for all of them. 
#1 - losing an eye to Abby’s experiments. You read the lil short story I think (I know I checked just now) - she’s a very kind and loving sister who sometimes moves his body parts around. One time, he lost an eye and went blind for a few weeks. He had nightmares about it for months. It was very painful.
#2 - losing a finger. To Abby’s experiments. It was the middle finger on his left hand and it didn’t go back into place quickly enough - now it’s always numb and discoloured. Good news is he’s right-handed and not a musician so no worries about losing dexterity on that hand. 
#3 - losing two ribs. To Abby’s experiments.  There’s a very clear trend here. She wanted to try moving things she couldn’t see around. She moved two ribs away. She decided it was more dangerous to put them back. Now they just have two of Percival’s ribs lying around. 
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
On that note, final person, this is very long. Abby! She’s fun. Most significant memory;
okay the word ‘significant’ has caught me off-guard several times cause like wow how do you figure out significant memories for people. I don’t have just one, yknow? But I think I know one for her. 
She’s the eldest out of her and Percival and, for a while, people wanted her to set an example for him, which she tried to do, but she wasn’t good at what people wanted her to be good at. She’s good with people. She’s good at very specific parts of biology. She’s good at psychology. She’s not good at school and tests. 
So, when Percival started to beat the standards she set for him, her parents almost... egged competition on. Played favourites, compared the two siblings. Nobody really noticed what she could do, they only cared about what she struggled with. And the parents were rarely around to help out with what she was struggled with. So she struggled on and tried to keep her head high.
Cue a family wedding, she was snooping around the snack table at the reception and overheard her parents talking about her. And how they were almost disappointed in her. How they were annoyed that she couldn’t be more like Percival, honestly, what did they do wrong? 
She got bitter. She pretends she doesn’t care but she’s bitter, and with no parents around to lash out at, she lashes out at Percival, who isn’t even aware. Good times. Not good times. Significant times. 
Memory to be rid of: Honestly? Probably hearing her parents talking about her at the family wedding. It stings. 
A n y w a y this was extremely long I like going into detail with short stories, if you read this far then thank you I appreciate it I will give you a feather from my feather collection. Probably a swan feather. I have a lot of swan feathers. 
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