#the ending is just one aspect thats ridiculously well done

[boughkeeperdain]

Honestly Naoki Urasawa's 'Monster' is such a well written story on so many levels.

My favourite part about it is that it's cyclical- the way it ends calls back to how it began. (Spoilers ahead)

Kenzo starts, and continuously stays this way, as someone who stays true to what he believes. He has a strong moral compass and won't really stray from it. He has the firm belief that all lives are created equally, which ultimately leads him to save Johan's life as a child.

Johan on the other hand believes that humans are only equal in death, and his end goal is to get Tenma to be the one to kill him, to understand the monster inside of him. If this were what happened then even that woukd be good writing- it was Tenma who saved him, and Tenma who would end him. Almost a poetic end for Johan, and would completely break down Tenma's morals and personal code of ethics.

But this isn't the case. Even when faced with Johan's likely death after he was shot (once again in the head), Kenzo makes the effort to save him- to go out of his way. Its comparable to the trolley problem on a way, and Kenzo takes the decisive action to try and make a change.

All lives are equal in the beginning, and all lives are equal at the end. An infallible ideology for our main character and brings us back to the start of saving Johan's life. And then we get the perfect end and callback to the start with the empty hospital bed, a mirror of Johan's first time in the hospital.

I quite like the ambiguity on whether Johan did survive or not, because both outcomes would have such different weight to them.

[lunar1an]

while i tend to be uncharitable towards pale (seeing a story you really like go directions you don't want that you think actively hurt it while watching people uncritically praise every new development and meme character for three years tends to make you jaded!) i do think some people get a little silly about dissing a web serial they haven't read so like. to just put it down here.

i do think early pale is objectively one of wildbow's best works. like. the rotating three perspectives are used extremely well. the characters read as convincing and likable children, the cast is excellent, especially the starting Others. it's an alternate, lighter look at a dark setting and it works. the fact that the mystery isn't the premise so much as figuring out the problem of "how do we handle that some of these Others want to get rid of us". or later "how do we properly confront these people without being too cruel because society's already done that to them".

that's like. arcs 1-3. arcs 4-7 are also, i think, good, even if it's ultimately a diversion and some of the simplified messaging around Other treatment is a bit eh. alexander and bristow have a lot of character and while they're more straightforward pure antagonists it's fun to watch them be petty. the trio interacting with traditional practitioners is fun.

8-10 is like. pretty good. but some of the cracks start to show with arcs 9-10 dragging on a bit (it has melissa though so thats good). the new cast members are fun and interesting and tie into the conspirator plot. 9.9 is excellent if a hard read.

11-13 is like. where the dragging on elements intensify. a lot of Diversions happen that kind of get in the way of the trio Solving The Mystery(tm) and while a lot of those diversions are chocked down to one conspirator's work it feels more like it takes screentime away from the main plot and core cast which you're Really invested in. 12.z and about half of arc 13's chapters including the Break interludes are really good though, bringing a kind of like. pact-y vibe and atmosphere to the story which was sorely missed.

after arc 13 though its like. at this point it's less three rotating perspectives that each lay their eyes on the main plot at specific points with an intent to highlight certain aspects of the story (avery focused on connections, lucy focused directly on the mystery, verona focused on the Others). and more three separate web serial protagonists with their own plotlines loosely connected. and things get bloated. and start escalating beyond reason (70+ practitioners attacking kennet???). and the Practitioner = evil colonialist oppressor stuff gets silly. but i think like. at least the story still cohered. musser still continued the trend of jerk practitioners who abuse the system even if he's just a TwitchPlaysPractitioner stream that does things arbitrarily like a ghost or a dog. the founding sequence towards the end of arc 17 was cool even if i was a bit disappointed with how kennet found turned out.

i think if you were really invested in the trio and their story you could probably stop sometime around there and be satisfied. not a good or a clean ending, and you probably were better off stopping at arc 13, but it works.

but then pale keeps going and does a complete paradigm shift to make the literal Red Menace Revolutionary the antagonist. and has to justify the also purportedly revolutionary kennet opposing that antagonist and shit just goes sideways. and by now you start running into the more ridiculous stuff like "avery compares goblins to human minorities" (yes. i know the intent of her statement. it was still silly).

like. it just stopped cohering or being consistent or anything. plots and characters get introduced and discarded just as quickly and have little to no impact despite how hyped up they are initially. it's not good, and it actively hurts the material that came before it (retroactively making charles worse, for example).

even the setting stuff is like. early pale had some silly things like a technomancer being able to set up a worldwide magic jstor or this one glamour-drowned dude being wayyy too powerful with glamour for someone who wasn't even a fae or practitioner. but it was like. you could excuse or justify or ignore it if it didn't agree with you because at least the rest of pale was good. but then every Path turned into a whimsical video game level (among many other less ignorable things) and pale stopped being good.

and like. man. even despite that i still think about the carmine alcazar chapters and the story of a Beast who lived in a world that had long left her behind. and the trio in the back of a truck practicing runes with their magic hat. pale was good. it was good! but then it had to keep going.

[ghost-town-dwellers]

im writing a full smpronpa review because honestly that fic kinda changed my brain chemistry. this will be bullet point format as i am lazy

okay, so disclaimer- i havent seen smplive so i cant talk about those streamers characterizations. HOWEVER, i had a 3 year long derange danganronpa phase and have been abnormal about technoblade since 2017 so i do consider myself a bit of an expert on those aspects. oh also im taking the poke route and replacing that guy with yahi 👍

- gettin the techno things outta the way. first off, really likes his characterization and how it didnt fall into the trap of “overly bloodthirsty and unemotional” technoblade while still keeping his hitman status from tekkitlive i believe? and his deadpan demeaner. A+

- on the negative side, i will never get forgive the author for missing out his speech quirks like dropping the “g” at the end of words or constant use of “bruh”. additionally, plotwise, i feel like technoblade as the hitman sent after schlatt and co was disregarded a bit too quickly? and also came off as weird considering no one was meant to have any memories?? like why did schlatt and co and techno remember that part??? idk that just confused me but its danganronpa so whatevs

- the talents. they didnt.. feel like they had much of a purpose? like they didnt feel like they added much to the characterization, but that does add something interesting to the fact that the talents were a fake concept all along so i will not say if this was good or bad and will leave it up to you

- speaking of, was there a reason we never found out ty or travis’ talents? like they died and we just never found out what they were or why we didnt know. like. that confused me

- on the OTHER hand. the fake talents imply that yahi made HIMSELF the ultimate comedian which is objectively hilarious. big obama giving obama a medal energy

- poke. girl they did so little with him that i REGULARLY forgot he was there. bro just do SOMETHING with him. however, this is also a classic danganronpa experience so i will accept it

- the third trial kinda went crazy. i liked the twist on two victims to instead be two killers. genuinely an interesting version of the third chapter, and ryan was like.. a weirdly compelling character, especially after that trial

- half of the end twists were just straight ridiculous. im not.. really a fan of the “it was joko actually it was yahi actually it was cooper” thing, but its very sdr2 core so tbh thats fair. on the other hand, what in the world exactly happened to joko????? like he was at the final trial for like a Minute but he was dead beforehand in the flashbacks???? was he a robot????????? im so confused

- also, what was the purpose of charlie fakin his death? once again, very danganronpa of them but fundamentally kinda weird and unnecessary. i understand the in universe explanation but like.. out of universe why was that decision made?

- i would like the give the author massive kudos for the actual murders and trials. as someone who has participated in and even RAN danganronpa fangame rps, that shits HARD. it was pretty well done! not perfect, and some parts were hard to follow but i have ABSOLUTELY seen worse

- i also started really liking angel as a character. i liked the choice to have her actually be a detective lying about her “ultimate” and she felt very genuine and interesting. schlatt also came across as a pretty interesting antagonist with canon-typical confusing motives

- also whatever the fuck joko and cooper had going was gay as HELL. like idk what was up but it was deeply homosexual

- i also liked the way the ending had a sort of commentary on fan culture and the increasing escalation of entertainment for the cruel enjoyment of the masses. very yugioh arc v z-arc core for the like two people who get that reference. im not entirely sure on how WELL it was executed especially within the wider context, but i still found it interesting

thats the general review! ill update this if i realize i forgot stuff but all in all thats what i wanted to say

[mulling-over-milgram]

my personal interpretation is that its about fuuta’s toxic relationship with justice/cancel culture rather then with lover. Deco*27 writes lots of love songs so usually take the love aspect of the covers less literary.

“I compared the fluid that leaked out of the wound to “love” → “I compared the fluid that leaked out of the wound to “justice”

how his pursuit of justice ended up killing the middleman schooler and how her social death from the canceling was in his mind justice

“Lack of compassion and mating without love is Similar to the entangled relationship between us Yet, “I love you” → “Lack of compassion and attacking without consideration is similar to the relationship between myself and justice, “I love this”

the lyrics are about comparing a the pov’s relationship to one that doesn’t have love but yet they still love their partner but through this justice interpretation its an exchange with out justice/with out consideration for the consequences or other person is compared to what fuuta was doing yet he still loves practicing in the cancel culture/the camaraderie that comes with cancel culture

“What’s wrong with me loving you” → “what’s wrong with me pursuing justice”

in fuuta’s mind whats wrong with punishing these people whats wrong with me enjoying canceling them i’m just pursuing justice

“So nobody can touch you” → “so nobody can hurt me” / “so nobody can touch my idea of justice”

”This is fate as well, it will disappear” → “this is fate as well , they will disappear”

the people he’s cancelling in his mind are bad people who have done bad things so its only right they get whats coming to them. They have done bad things so they deserve to disappear (the social death / ridicule that comes from cancel culture)

“What should I call shooting out my thirst while still not knowing if this is greed or love” → “what should I call my thirst for justice while still not knowing if its greed or genuine”

Fuuta questioning if his actions are a pure desire to see justice up held or if its the the camaraderie that comes with cancelling people and maybe the power of being able to make change?

“I will drink up all the tears that you gave me you gave me a sweet lie that “it’s ok to be a coward”, have I been able to escape?”

The you in this case being the others who were involved with the cancellation / the you being the act of canceling someone. The sweet lie of cowardice being canceling someone behind the safety of a screen.

“Is this called “I loved you”? Where I struggle to cling to you , What’s wrong with killing me, me who you hate” → “Is this called “justice”? Where I struggle to cling to it , What’s wrong with killing me, me who I hate”

or at least thats how I think of it ^^

hey has anyone ever figured out why fuuta's t1 cover song was mozaik role actually because i have been confused about it since the beginning

because out of the cover songs that ive seen the lyrics for most of them do have some kind of correlation to the character?? like coward montblanc and neo neon make sense for kazui, liar dance and delusion tax make sense for shidou, vampire makes sense for yuno, android girl makes sense for haruka, monopoisoner makes some sense for mikoto. when you look at animal within the context of amane's character that one makes sense too. hell, for how funny it sounds in concept even salamander the cup noodle song DOES fit fuuta because of its constant references to the addicting heat of spicy cup noodles and that you need to blow on it to cool it down or itll burn you

but i dont know what's going on with fuuta and mozaik role??? isnt mozaik role about toxic relationships?? you'd think of all people they wouldve given it to mahiru. or did i miss another interpretation of the song? what's going on here man

[eyefocusing]

What are your thoughts in Penance?

so like on one hand ive grown to find the entire thing very funny because the situation truly does feel SO ridiculous..... like okay lets take the goofiest character we can think of, the funny bouncing guy with the rainbow bubbles, and make him the pinnacle of mid-00s edge. the deadpool/gli summer fun spectacular really did nail my thoughts on the whole thing lmao

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND i feel like, physically sick when i read anything from the penance era. especially the story in cw: front line. its awful and also you can tell that they didnt even put in the bare minimum effort to know anything about robbies character. reading it genuinely feels like im reading torture porn. that story is definitely the worst of it but im deeply uncomfortable reading anything from the time, honestly. penance:relentless is kinda goofy (the nipple rings???) but considering it ends with him literally torturing nitro.... no thanks.

my favorite penance appearances are probably the ones from avengers: the initiative, and im guessing thats because its right at the tail end of his time with the suit. plus he gets niels as a therapy cat which is something i wish was used more later on!!

the thing is. im all for cape comic characters having bad reactions to trauma. if robbie lived through the explosion that killed his friends and 600+ people and was pretty much fine afterwards, that would be really weird! and the social stigma from being the only survivor couldve been done well too, and its an aspect of this i think about a lot! hell, i think even the whole thing about his powers only being activated by self harm couldve been done well. but it wouldve had to be done with care, and thats not something youre going to get from that period in comics. especially when, at the end of the day, this was all just minor fallout from civil war. because who actually cares about what happens to robbie baldwin when all of that is going on?

i mean. i like that there were characters who would help him. and i like that multiple times, he had a friend (rich, bart, doreen) try to tell him that it wasnt his fault. and honestly? i like that he didnt really listen to them. and i like what came after, with avengers academy and beyond, and that everything from his time as penance didnt just go away after he put on a new suit. but penance was terrible. and the events leading up to it, his time in jail and being shot and his parents disowning him? losing his team and being called the most hated man in america simply because he had the misfortune to survive? terrible. im just glad it didnt stick

[mjxmoon]

dream losing his shit 🌱

dream x black reader

word count: 679

request: this one might be a lil rough, but can you do it where one of the mcyts has a fan thats getting a bit racist about the reader in the donos and the mcyt proceeds to lose their shit on them?

a/n i liked this prompt and should say that everyone handles racist comments differently. there's no one right way to handle a moment like this so i just picked one that i’ve done to cope with racist bitches.

warnings: swearing, mentions of racial slurs (but i don’t actually write them out bc im not trying to set the white ppl up ya know) fluff maybe i have no clue how warnings work

I don’t know why I was nervous; you think to yourself as you read through the chat of the stream you’re currently on with your boyfriend. Dream asked you to stream with him so his fans could get a chance to know you, and you were a bit hesitant. They know you exist because you’ve appeared in his merch photos, so they aren't completely oblivious to some aspects of your physical appearance, but having to talk to thousands of people live is terrifying.

But much to your surprise, everything seems to be going well. The chat is being friendly, twitter is at ease, and everyone on the SMP has been very welcoming.

“Dream help me!” you exclaim as Tommy begins to attack you in-game “Tommy, quit it!” Dream laughs but opts not to help in your survival attempt, sitting back in the extra chair he’s pulled up and relaxing, figuring you’ve got it covered.

Your laughter and squeals of excitement pause as you take a peek at the donation that comes across the screen. A chunky donation message sent along with $50 expresses how surprising it is that ‘Dream’ would ever “date someone like you,” along with some offensive slurs that make your mouth open slightly in shock. You get a queasy feeling in your stomach and chew on your bottom lip, not really sure how to react; who spends $50 just to call me that? As disappointing as it is- this is something you were expecting. You've gotten used to the stares, the comments, and just about everything in between, so while this isn't the first time you’ve had racist shit said to you, something about it being from one of your boyfriend's “fans” stings more than it should.

Dream notices the shift in your mood and looks from your slightly perplexed face to the screen. “What the fuck.” he says aloud as he reads the recent dono. He doesn't have a headset on and was nowhere near the mic, but everyone definitely heard it.

“Dream  just let it go.” you mumble, not wanting to draw any more attention to this racist asshole.

He ignores you and stands up, taking the headset off your head and leaning towards the mic. “Are you guys fucking kidding me?” Dream  says in a low, but threatening tone, “Who thinks sending this shit is funny?

The chat can only focus on how ‘Hot’ Dream sounds when he's upset and that only pisses him off more. “I don’t know why you guys are treating this like a joke. If you send racist shit to my partner again, I'm gonna be done streaming because this is ridiculous.”

You sit there awkwardly, not really knowing what else to do as your usually reasonable boyfriend goes apeshit on some anonymous racist. Cry? Laugh? Leave? You don’t know whether or not you should be bothered by some troll just trying to get a reaction, but you have to admit that it is nice not to have to deal with it on your own.

“So stupid.” Dream mutters before forcefully ending the stream. He pulls off his headset and slams it down, his chest still heaving and his fist tightened in anger.

It's quiet for a moment before you burst into a fit of giggles. Dream looks at you, concerned at how you're choosing to handle all this. You don't even know why you're laughing either, but it isn't long before you both are doubled over on the floor in laughter.

“It's just so stupid.” You say in between laughs. There's no right way to handle a situation like this, but you figured why not try to find some light in the situation and not dwell on it. What's the point of letting them live rent-free in your head?

“Thank you for sticking up for me.” you sigh, secretly a little sad that he ended the stream since you were having so much fun. “Of course.” Dream replies, letting out a breath. He fiddles with his fingers as his mind drifts to all the other stuff he could have said or done “They’re lucky I didn't get their IP address.”

[ficforce]

NSFW Alphabet Extended

Joker/52 x Female Reader NSFW / Mentions of past abuse No established timeline Established relationship

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

“Uh, JJ?” Y/N watched the man practically run out of the room not even a minute after they had both finished up. Had she said or done something? Y/N pulled the blanket up to her chest after sitting up and worried that he wasn’t going to come back… This wasn’t the first time he’d done something strange after they had had sex but it was the first time he’d left; she brought her knees up and couldn’t help the tears that were threatening to spill out of her eyes. “I got water, alcohol, juice and I put the kettle on in case you want something hot, I also grabbed some snacks in case you were hungry - oh and I grabbed some body wipes too!” Joker had piled everything he had mentioned onto a tray and brought it to the side of the bed, placing everything down before then grinning at her like he had done something really innovative. The grin dropped quickly as he noticed her watery eyes and the slight quiver of her lip. The man sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her into a hug, holding her tight in his slight panic, “What did I do? Did I hurt you? Did I push you?” Joker had had a shitty childhood that had followed into his young adult life, he remembered all the times he was forced to do something or it was forced on him, he remembered being left cold and in pain with no-one giving two shits; it terrified him that he might have inflicted the same kind of pain on her. “I’m sorry, Y/N.” Y/N pushed against him just enough to be able to look at his worried face, “You didn’t do anything… I definitely wanted that but it’s just… you left, right after and…” she realised now he had run out to get her food and drink, things to take care of her if she needed it. He had asked her last time about aftercare and how he wasn’t sure how to best provide it for her. She had told him that a bottle of water might be appreciated and hadn’t expected him to take it so far as snacks. “I thought you’d just left me.” “No way,” he kissed her cheeks as he squished her face a little between his hands, “Now, you want water, juice, vodka or tea?” The man was completely oblivious as to his awkward after sex etiquette.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

‘They’re like stilts.” Joker chuckled as she poked at his leg, “I like being taller than everyone else.” He likes his legs; he liked that he could move ridiculously fast, that he was flexible and able to kick someone in the face without having to get too close. “You love it when I lean over you like a big creep.” “That’s because I love creeps, apparently.” Y/N grabbed the collar of his top and pulled him down for a kiss, “What do you love about me? Physically?” “Hmm,” Joker gave it a little thought, straightening back up and lighting another cigarette, “Physically… that’s a tricky one. What do I love about my queen of hearts?” He liked everything, it was hard to pick just one thing; he turned his grin on her all of a sudden and smacked her backside, “I like your ass.”

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Running his fingertips through the cum leaking out of his lover, Joker slowly pushed it back inside her entrance, gently fingering her and relishing in the wet, warm feeling of her freshly fucked hole. “T-thats gross…” Y/N blushed and looked away from his fascinated expression. “I think it’s pretty.” He brought his fingers up to his mouth and sucked them clean, “We’re all mixed together, impossible to separate.” Only he could make something like this sound almost romantic.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Y/N watched as Joker played with his deck of cards, shuffling them more expertly than any dealer in the big casinos, he then began to hum as he set out a game of solitaire. Sometimes he snuck into her apartment just to be there with her; it wasn’t always a booty call. There was something she noticed when he opened a brand new pack of cards though, something she wasn’t sure he was entirely conscious of doing. The long haired man would always pull out and burn one of the cards to ash before replacing it with the joker card. Last time Y/N had mentioned it he had packed everything up and told her he had business to attend to before leaving.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

“What’s this thing?” Y/N looked over at him from where she was putting away her clothes, her cheeks became a little warm as she saw he was playing with a vibrating cock ring. “It goes at the base of your dick… makes you last longer and the vibration gives me a little something when you push all the way in.” Joker snorted at it and tossed it back in the draw. He was sat cross legged on her bed in nothing but a towel and hair turban to keep him from getting the pillows damp; of course he had to snoop around in her bedside table whilst she was busy. “Why would someone need to last longer, you’d get sore, right? And why the hell aren’t they paying attention to your clit personally?’ He made little circular motions with his thumbs, “That’s just lazy, Y/N.” She often wondered how someone so tall and sexy could be so inexperienced, sure, he was a little odd but women should have been throwing themselves at him. “I’ll show you later, okay.”

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Joker liked all kinds of positions, he especially liked when Y/N was on top. So when she suggested reverse cowgirl he was curious and eagerly agreed to trying it out. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like any position where he couldn’t see her face; it made him uncomfortable and it didn’t feel as good as he knew it should. His hands fell onto her hips and applied a little pressure to slow her down to a stop, “T-turn back around.” He panted out and when she did as he asked, Joker felt better, he thrust up into her more eagerly than before and his purple eye watched her expressions as they headed toward orgasm. Afterwards, as they lay in a heap of sweaty limbs, Y/N kissed his jaw and asked him if it was the angle he hadn’t liked, he shook his head and told her that it just felt better if he knew she was enjoying it.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

“JJ, stop messing around with that and get over here.” She had told him he could pick one toy for them to try out from her collection but so far he was just playing with everything. He was taking particular joy in trying to secure a strap on to his head. “Look, Y/N, I’m an actual dickhead now!” He heard her groan at his joke but he definitely heard a giggle too, “Or ‘fuckface’… I heard you call someone that the other day.” Joker liked to make her laugh, he found it put him at ease before they had sex; somehow he was still nervous he was going to make her hate him or that he would somehow hurt her.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Her fingers felt soothing as they ran through his long hair, she had practically begged him to let her practice a french braid on him and he didn’t actually mind it. Y/N had always liked playing with his hair - even before they became a proper couple. “How do you get it so soft?” She asked as she brushed it out to start her braid again, “You never have any split ends either.” He really did take good care of it, it wasn’t something she ever expected from him but she couldn’t deny how much attention he paid to his hair - even his pubic hair was kept trimmed and oddly perfect. He glanced over her shoulder at her and gave a soft smile, “I wasn’t allowed long hair when I was younger, so I like to keep it nice.”

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Something had upset him, something had happened and Y/N hadn’t really known what to do when she found him huddled up in the corner of her bedroom. He was always good at sneaking in but this was the first time she had ever woken up and found him hiding in the dark rather than invading her bed. “JJ?” She called out her pet name for him as she got out of bed and padded over to him, kneeling between his outstretched legs before reaching out to touch his face. He flinched. “Joker, what’s wrong?” She tried again to touch him and this time he allowed her to rest her hands on his cheeks. Y/N checked him over, he didn’t seem to be hurt in anyway, he was just… not quite right. “Can I take off your hat?” He gave a nod and she removed the item quickly, her fingers ran over his hair to neaten it out a little and then she asked if she could take off his eyepatch. This time he shook his head no. “Okay, will you come to bed? We can cuddle…” It hadn’t been hard to figure out, once she had seen all the evidence, that Joker had had bad experiences with people - that someone had likely abused him in his past. One of her biggest clues had been the way he never got too rough with her, how he always had to be able to see her face. Joker cherished her when they were together, he always made sure she knew that he wanted her to feel good and loved. It was moments like this, when he was emotionally bare and vulnerable that she felt most intimate with him, that he let her in and trusted her not to hurt him. “I’ll be big spoon, okay, JJ?” Taking his hand she coaxed him toward the bed and wrapped herself around his tall frame; trying her best to make him feel safe.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

The first time Joker masturbated he had been a little scared that he was going to be struck by lightning. He may have been raised an assassin but they were still a religious order that frowned upon that kind of thing… unless you were some sort of twisted pervert. At first he had ignored the feeling, not wanting to touch himself because he didn’t want to feel sick afterwards; sex had always made him feel disgusting before. But as his vision blurred white and his muscles spasmed, his fist moving on its own along his length as he milked every last drop out of it, he felt weightless afterward. The tension melted out of his body and he wanted to take a nap. He didn’t feel bad, he didn’t feel disgusting - he felt good. He doesn’t masturbate half as much now that he had Y/N. His right arm didn’t ache as much either…

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

“Is this okay?” Y/N asked as she straddled the backs of his thighs and placed her hands on his back. She had set up a large mirror at the end of the bed for this and she hoped it would work for Joker. She had wanted to give him a massage for the longest time but he could never really relax because he disliked having people behind him, touching his bare skin. She figured that if he could see what she was doing in the mirror it might help him. Joker hugged the pillow under his chin and watched her reflection intently, she pulled out a bottle of oil and began warming it in her hands, “I’d like it more if you were naked too.” He saw her look back at his reflection and rolled her eyes, “Maybe in a little while then.” Feeling her slick hands stroke over his bare back made the man let out a low moan; he loved being touched. Stroked, pet, cuddled, caressed - it didn’t matter as long as it was a positive touch. His kink wasn’t being choked or hit or even just tied up. His kink was being treated sweetly by his lover.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

“Excuse me, ma’am.” The shop assistant sounded a little panicked from outside the changing room door. “Ma’am, you… you can’t have your boyfriend in there with you. I’m sorry but please stop having -‘relations’.” Y/N glared at Joker as he held in his laughter, she had told him to get out the second he had materialised in her changing room but he had said he wanted to play. “Anywhere isn’t an acceptable location for this kind of thing, Joker!”

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

It didn’t take much to turn her boyfriend on, sometimes just looking in his general direction was enough motivation for him to pull her into long, lovely kisses and feel his hands sneaking under her clothes to caress her body. So as she finished paying for her new lingerie and took the bag from the cashier, she had to wonder how he was going to react to her intentionally teasing him.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Going through her sex toys seemed to be one of his favourite hobbies, mostly because it would make her stutter and feel flushed. This time Joker held up a pretty chain with a clamp either end, “Those are nipple clamps, JJ.” “They look like they hurt…” He tossed them aside in distain then found a pair of handcuffs next, “Why… would you intentionally want to be hurt?” Joker put those back too, his expression unhappy. Y/N came to sit down beside him, “Sometimes a little pain feels good-“ “Sex and pain shouldn’t go together. I’m never going to use any of this shit on you.” She gave a little shrug, embarrassed that he didn’t approve of her little kinks but understanding all the same, “And that’s okay… I’ll never mix the two together when I’m with you. I promise I’d never try to hurt you.”

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

His hands gripped her shoulders a little too hard and Joker quickly moved them to the edge of the kitchen counter behind him so he wouldn’t bruise her. Her mouth was so warm and the way she was sucking him felt so good that his legs were starting to shake. As much as he loved having his mouth on her and his tongue inside - this was always his favourite treat. It took all his willpower not to thrust into Y/N’s mouth; one look down and he felt his balls tighten at the way her lips stretched around him and how damn pretty she looked like this. “I-I’m gonna… Fuck, Y/N, I’m - !!” P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

The headboard of her bed thumped rhythmically against the wall as Joker plowed into her, his hands holding her thighs up and open so that he could go deeper. “J-Jo-ker! Ah, I… P-please!” He felt her walls tightening around him, heard how wet she was and knew she wouldn’t last much longer. The man slowed his pace, still filling her to the very hilt but almost dragging out how quickly he pulled out to the tip and then dived in deep again. Unable to process the mixture of slow and fast, hard and gentle, Y/N’s body began to shake and tremble, her eyes squeezing shut as his name filled the room loud enough for the neighbours to hear.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

The endearing problem with her odd boyfriend, other than not knowing where he came from or even where he would come from next, was that he was able to go - sexually - at a moments notice. He loved a quickie, he loved it slow, sideways and once he had loved it upside down. Y/N had taken to carrying extra underwear with her just in case.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Y/N loved Joker, she adored him and she knew he cared about her deeply too… she just wished he would try new things with her that were not so safe. She liked a little breathplay every now and then but Joker wouldn’t risk choking her. He was a strong man and he knew he could get carried away. Then again, she thought as she looked at how high they were on the roof of a skyscraper, he liked to have sex in some pretty scary places.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

“I… actually can’t…” Y/N rolled onto her side panting heavily, everything ached a good way, the sheets were wet under her and every time Joked touched her she felt her body spasm. She was over sensitive and even though she knew he could make her orgasm again - she ws certain she would probably die. “I need a break.” “Okay, then we can go for round six?”

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) Joker loved toys. His favourite thing was to go through hers and then try them out if they interested him enough. There were many times he would bring new ones home for Y/N and then look at her with an excited purple eye. Y/N looked at the new toy he had brought home and blinked, “Is that a fucking tentacle dildo?!”

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Sometimes Joker wasn’t aware that he was actually teasing her, he just liked to touch her. Y/N bit her bottom lip as his thumb brushed over her clothed nipple again, it was hard and aching from his absent minded touch - she had no doubt he was only messing with her nipple because it was erect. It was the same for his other touch on her body. His other hand was on her inner thigh, his fingers tracing up and down the seam of her bottoms. “You’re driving me crazy!” “I haven’t even done anything?” Joker let out a surprised yelp as Y/N pinned him down to the sofa and climbed on top of him.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

“I’m calling the police!” Y/N hid her face in Joker’s neck as they listened to her neighbour yell through the wall - they were kind of loud on a regular basis. “I could go and have a word with him?” “Don’t you dare, Joker! We’re already in trouble because you did the…. Thing!” He grinned and blew a few heart shaped smoke rings for her, “You love it when I do the Thing.”

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

The bouquet of flowers she found on her table when she got home were a wonderful surprise. She noticed they were mostly purple with her favourite colour splashed in here and there; she didn’t need a note to know Joker had left them for her. Putting her bag down and kicking off her shoes Y/N picked up the flowers and smelled them, appreciating the gesture more than the aroma. Looking around the small apartment for him she realised that she must have just missed him… or he was hiding. Joker was surprisingly shy when it came to romantic gestures. X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) The first time she saw him naked, Y/N had been a little intimidated because, like most things about him, his cock was long. There was no way all of him would fit inside her without tickling her tonsils. Trying to calm her nerves she had turned her gaze onto his body, ran her hands over his lean muscles and pressed kisses to the scars she found. “One day, you’ll share your story with me, JJ.”

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

“Are you done?” Joker asked as he hovered over Licht, the young man was testing some new formula and he had said he needed Joker’s help. Watching the vial turn a different colour the scientist smirked to himself, “Have you got a date?” “I’m just horny. I miss Y/N and you’re being so boring!” He knew he had a problem, he knew he probably had too much sex but who could blame him when he had such a wonderful woman waiting for him?

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

His head rested on Y/N’s shoulder as they lay in bed; he couldn’t sleep and she was trying to help soothe him to sleep. She massaged his scalp between running her fingers through his hair and she had even tried making him a hot drink. Sometimes he couldn’t sleep, even after the euphoric release of a good orgasm to melt his troubles away. Feeling her hand brush over one of his scars Joker let out a sign, “Remember when you said one day I’d share my story?” Her hands paused for a second, the weight of his words causing her breath to stutter, “…Yes.” “Would you still love me, even if I wasn’t a good man?” “No matter what you were in the past,” She kissed the side of his head, “You’re my Joker and I’ll love you for who you are now.”

[melody-sy]

changes i would make in a super paper mario remake:

DONT replace the combat with ttyd style battles. that would strip the game of its identity you cant do that to her...... keep the action rpg platformer aspect, but refine the platforming physics to feel more familiar to modern 2d mario-- something like how it feels in new super mario bros games. i think this alone would singlehandedly make this game so much nicer to play >w>.

don't limit 3d mode-- let mario stay in 3d for as long as he needs to...

make the return pipe two-way-- you can return to flipside, and then warp back to the place you used it in. also get rid of the cursya that teleports you back to flipside...

more healing items in the levels please! also, get rid of the constant beeping when at low health-- just one little warning beep is enough i promise

speed up a lot of the sloooow animations. stuff like when solving a puzzle and watching stairs or something appear, or those rotating weoooow thingys in 1-2, or riding the minecarts in 5-3

also. make some changes to the puzzles where you have to memorize a really long solution-- namely mimi's vault code from 2-3 and the overly long block combo puzzle from 5-1... for the vault code, make it a key item you can check at any time, or a sheet of paper that appears on the "enter the code" screen. and for the block puzzle? it can stay overly long because that's funny, but once you know the code the block you need to hit next will sparkle or glow so you don't need to actually memorize it

speaking of 2-3... maybe rework 2-3 entirely? maybe this is a bit controversial but i always saw it as ttyd chapter 3 but without the good parts... i KNOW it's supposed to be "mario must work mindless labor to earn money" but that doesn't necessarily mean it has to be boring on the player end...

i actually have an idea for this. i propose we replace the electricity blocks and hamster wheels with a series of chores... mini-quests that are to be done in a scripted order, like Go kill the enemies in this room! Go retrieve the item from this dangerous area! ......they get progressively more absurd (Bake a cake for me! Jump in this specific location to check the floor quality!) but give you just enough rubees to pay the guy and get the vault code just before the tasks start to become utterly ridiculous (Write "I will not break Mimis pottery" on the chalkboard 1,000 times! Make a slideshow explaining how great it is to work here! Do a triple flip and meow!)

thats the best i can come up with, at least... it'd require remaking the entire level layout, sure, but i think its something thats gotta be done... i think this solution fits the scenario and the game's humor pretty well

4-1 can also use a few improvements... specifically, make each room more visually distinct and do something about all that empty space... i know the level literally takes place in space but it's reaaallly easy to get lost in here and that's not very fun...

this goes for quite a few locations in the game actually... a lot of places with visually similar rooms could use some landmarks 'w'

cut back on the motion control action commands, and im saying this as a motion control enjoyer 'w' shaking the controller to get a Nice is a bit too much and so is pointing at the screen just to tattle

i kinda lost my train of thought somewhere....

i think, if super paper mario ever gets a remake... it should be more of a reimagining... keep the story and characters and artstyle and everything else that makes the original great, but fix the janky gameplay and weird game design

[raydom-gamer]

SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR ANYTHING AFTER CHAPTER 16

I'm actually really curious about other people's thoughts about this.

Okay I had this thought late last night and it's been bothering me ever since, Belphegor was probably the only brother Lucifer can get away with putting in the attic without a rising any suspicion.

I'm not going to really bring in the emotional aspects about Lilith outside of just her dying or the fact that Lucifer was hiding a big secret from his brothers. I'm just plainly talkin about them being put in that attic for the same duration of time. Someone else can bring that up as well because I haven't really thought about how Lilith would affect them trapped up in the attic besides Beelzebub mentally.

Lucifer could not get away with doing that with any of his other brothers. If he had tried the chances are his other brothers would have realized something is up and would have gotten suspicious. And I'm not talking about the fact that Belphegor hated humanity and he wanted to kill the exchange students I'm just talkin about the fact that Lucifer probably had Belphegor up in that attic for roughly six months without anyone but MC knowing. Because if we break it down each individual brother it would be almost impossible for him to accomplish it.

Mammon - We all know for a fact in later chapters I can't remember which ones but it was confirmed that Mammon was Lucifer's favorite. Despite all of his faults, Lucifer still loves him and can see that outside his greediness that Mammon has he still sees with a lot more potential in Mammon. I honestly think it would be easy for him to trap and keep Mammon in the attic but Lucifer's own guilt plus Mammon's nagging would no doubt call the lot more issues then just leaving him there. Mammon probably would be a lot easier than the rest of the brothers because he's been punished a few times but I think he would make more and more ridiculous demands. Like wanting a TV for entertainment or wanting shiny for being a good boy and staying quiet in the attic for the week. Mammon also would probably be the only one who could probably talk Lucifer into letting him out. Mammon knows Lucifer better than all his brothers whether or not he pointed out. I have no doubt that he could talk Lucifer into freeing him or at least making Lucifer realize how ridiculous this is and what the backlash is going to be.

Leviathan - Leviathan would honestly be one of the easier ones to get in the attic and be hidden away much like Belphegor. Leviathan probably wouldn't be all that hard to keep in there since he's naturally in his room to begin with but he would probably have stressed out about Henry 2.0 well being well-being in the attic. Leviathan isn't above begging for something if he feels like he's being unfairly judged and would probably say some things that would cut Lucifer down. Leviathan nose a little bit more about Lucifer's War side and could probably say some hurtful things to him to guilt him into letting him out. If desperate Leviathan could summon Loath (I think thats the name) to help set him free or at least alert his brothers that hey he's still down here in Devildom. His brothers would probably also notice that Lucifer would have Akuzon packages coming in every day or a lot of packages at one time. Lucifer would have to do this in order to keep Leviathan up-to-date with his games, snacks and events in the hopes that it will occupy him from having a fit. Which wouldn't be too difficult if it wasn't for the fact that Mammon would most likely steal one of the packages and that would also end up getting Lucifer caught that Leviathan is somewhere near.

Satan - I believe Satan would be the most difficult for Lucifer to get into the attic to begin with but also the fact that he would probably be the one trying to make breakouts constantly. Satan is not stupid by any means and no matter how good Lucifer thinks he is if Satan is pushed, he will find a way to get out. Honestly would not surprise me if he just completely destroyed the room and actually literally blew a hole out the side of the house in a fit of rage just to get out of the attic. Lucifer might be able to control his temper a little bit if he may have thrown a cat or two in there because Satan wouldn't harm the animal no matter how mad he is but it would only work for so long. Especially if someone notices Lucifer is running around with cat litter and cat food. Satan would most likely be the biggest problem child out of all them purely for the fact that he has a lot more tricks up his sleeves than his brothers.

Edit: I just realized that if Satan was trapped up in the attic with a cat he would have to clean the cat's litter box but couldn't get rid of the bag without Lucifer's help. You can't convince me that Satan wouldn't take a bag of cat poop and hand it to Lucifer looking him dead in the eyes and say "Here's a sack of crap for a sack of crap." Satan would be so sassy since he can't destroy anything with the cats in the room.

Asmodeus - Asmodeus would be be another tricky one do the fact that he's kind of a celebrity or at least very popular is that a lot of people would notice him missing and start asking questions. He wouldn't be so bad at first. As long as Lucifer managed to allow him to still go into having his private bath and having all of his lotions and his clothes. Asmodeus wouldn't have such a big problem until the social aspect starts to strain on him. He is a social butterfly and he enjoys being around a lot of people having a lot of gossip the ones he kind of realizes how isolated he is that's when shit is going to hit the fan. And I can kind of see this going one of two ways. Either 1. He's going to be so desperate for socialisation he will literally have a meltdown every time Lucifer has to leave to the point where he use probably going to have a mental breakdown. Or 2. Asmodeus is going to try anyway he can to get Lucifer to let him talk to someone. Whether it be charming his brother or just outright attacking him would not surprise me because I feel like once you take a majority his happiness away from him then he will become feral. And if MC actually did meet Asmodeus the way they met Belphegor then I feel like Asmodeus would have an unhealthy attachment to MC purely from the stress of being the only one who will talk to him while he was in the attic.

Beelzebub - Much like Leviathan, Beelzebub wouldn't be that difficult to hide in the attic if it wasn't for the fact that his stomach would give himself away. Lucifer running up and down the stairs of the attic constantly to bring up 10 portion meal food a couple dozen times a day would not only exhaust him but would be hella suspicious to everyone. It was confirmed in text messaging that Lucifer is known for skipping every meal except dinner because he still wants to see his brothers at the end of the day. Beelzebub would also be someone that Lucifer would probably let out from guilt because Beelzebub still has a lot of regret about what happened to Lilith and in some way he would look at this situation of him being imprisoned in the Attic as his punishment for failing her. And given the fact that Beelzebub isn't afraid to just talk about uncomfortable things with his siblings if it fixes is the problem. Lucifer would probably release Beelzebub after having a long discussion of needing to let Lilith go. Also the brothers would have noticed that Lucifer running around with a lot of food would immediately send off some of warning signals especially the Belphegor who would already be on high suspicion that there was foul play. Beelzebub wasn't like that with belphegor but that's because he didn't really believe that Lucifer was going to lie to him and thought that Lucifer was taking good care of Belphegor (which in a way he was but still.)

I just feel like because Belphegor sleeps all day and outside of Satan and Beelzebub she really doesn't have a lot of socialisation as well as someone who's really easy to accommodate for with very little needs outside of the basics that wouldn't come off is alarming to his brothers. I kind of feel like Belphegor was just a perfect type of person could be put in an attic for months on end with just a basic lie from someone they trust without really alarming anyone. Beelzebub was upset and was confused why his brother had never said anything to him but again Beelzebub had no reason to not trust Lucifer.

I guess what I'm trying to say is do you think Lucifer already had that planned. Like way before Belphegor had this whole situation about the exchange program. Do you think Lucifer has had to sit down and think of a place to lock his brothers up for long periods of time just in case. I'm pretty sure he's done that with Satan at least because of his rage but I feel like that would be more of like a rage room to just destroy things and try to minimize the damage then actually being a prison.

[tixixis]

I went crazy and wrote out my wolf359 dnd headcannons so. you have to look.

Its long, so its under the cut! i think they’re pretty good n cool :)

Eiffel: very bad at it. Every pair of dice he touches is cursed. He hardly gets into character at first (he names his first character Doug) but then gets REALLY into the rp aspect as time goes on. He makes the most ridiculous characters. Every silly dnd character shitpost ? Ghost written by doug Eiffel. I think he prefers to play humans but also likes Dragonborn, and probably starts out playing fighters but then drifts a bit more into bard territory. 

Minkowski: stickler for the rules. Likes combat. Follows the name guide so always has some True Fantasy shit instead of fun fruity names. She always calls people out on their spell slots and components even though the dm (which I’ll be getting to later) doesn’t care THAT much. Probably plays halflings or maybe even half-orcs! I think she likes to play the cleric but picks whoever will balance out the party best. It’s not for fun, it’s to win. She’s also probably very into the roleplay element though. Her character will probably have a bit too much of her though and end up arguing with eiffel’s character. 

Hilbert: he’s just so stiff. Never does a character voice. He’s read the entire rule book but if he can bend some of those rules to make it easier for himself he will. If it means that he does a good job, he’ll probably lie about a dice roll now and again. He doesn’t care about the purity of the game, he just wants to do what makes him have fun, even if it’s at the detriment of the other party members. He likes to play necromancers. He thinks “magic” is stupid though. Likes to play gnomes or dwarfs.

Lovelace: probably had the lasting impression that dnd is only for hardcore nerds, but got roped into it. Shes decent, she’ll probably do anything that’ll piss someone else in the party off while everyone else thinks it’s funny. Gets surprisingly good dice rolls and everyone thinks she’s cheating but she’s not, just unnaturally lucky dice. Her character falls to 0 hp the most but always has successful death saving throws. She likes to play tieflings but they’re always taken by jacobi or maxwell and Minkowski won’t allow more than two of each race so she usually plays a half-elf 

Hera: HERA DMS. Well, and maxwell sometimes. But mostly Hera!!! She’s a really good story teller and always knows when Hilbert cheats because. Duh. But she lets him get away with it cause thats how he has his fun but one campaign she just calls him out EVERY TIME so he stops trying. Before she starts a campaign she gets eiffel’s help a little bit cause he’s a surprisingly good story teller, but she’s really good at keeping track of details and World building. Doesnt do very many npc voices though. 

Maxwell: she is the biggest dnd nerd ever. She’s played it since highschool. She loves to dm but also to play so it’s always a moral dilemma, but Hera likes to dm a lot more than play so she usually takes the player role. When she dms she goes HAM. SO DRAMATIC in the best way. Makes stories that’ll really hit your heart. When she’s playing, she always makes a ten page backstory for her character. She loves to make an in campaign BFF with her character if that makes sense? Sometimes she gets so into it when they’re done she still talks in her character vocie a bit. She likes to play elves and teiflings, and probably rouges mages or wizards, but she’s done every class at least once.

Jacobi: started playing with maxwell when they met. He tends to match her energy, he also loves it. Theater kid, duh! He hates combat. He takes the best notes, and knows everyones character better than they do. He likes to play a barbarian or a Druid, and a tiefling or a firbolg. He likes to talk to EVERY npc and really tries to get kepler into it. Speaking of which... Kepler... 

Kepler: he. Hates. Dnd. He doesn’t get it! Why does have to have a character. Why does he have to do a dumb voice. There’s more than a six sided dice? LOVELACE IS CHEATING! I SWEAR! He becomes the target of the group because they all like to rile him up. He’ll sometiems leave in the middle of a session. Plays whatever character he makes maxwell and Jacobi make for him, which can be anything from a warforged to a human. They usually give him the same class though so he knows it, probably a fighter.Message #general

[cattles-bians]

'our exes are dating' damie AU part 2

post directory

em: jamies like, sitting w her head in her hands wearing big stompy boots and flannel going god dani our exes are dating. we’re Stereotypes (danis like well. i will hold my tongue about the outfit but technically their exes are also dating)

obsetress: "what about my outfit?" "nothing baby, you look very cute”

obsetress: ok but dani and jamie finding out rebecca and vi are dating and jamie's immediately calling owen like "mate."

em: i am so thinking of making the bly manor au version of The Chart from the l word

em: owens like who haven’t u dated at this point n jamies like oi (quietly) u know i get nervous around girls

em: owen we can’t ALL be Married to hannah grose

obsetress: jamie can't stand vi most of the time like you said but she definitely had a drunken one night stand with perdita

obsetress: they were both young and lonely and had something to prove

obsetress: ok but imagine vi and rebecca are having some holiday party at their fancy ass apartment and dani and jamie are showing up and perdita is there and viola's like "dani, you remember my sister. jamie, this is–– jamie? perdi? are you okay?”

obsetress: perdita pulling vi aside later and hissing "that's her! that... jamie, that's her" "who?" "that... that girl i told you about, vi, the one who––" "the one who insisted on buying you breakfast but then never called you back?" “yes"

em: jamie......

obsetress: she wants to be so nice and so soft but then…

obsetress: also they stayed over at perdi's and she was sober enough the next morning to realize what a trust fund baby flat looks like

em: jamie viola acquaintances to enemies to. nope still enemies

jamie: dunno what the fuss was about. not like i stole anything

dani: sorry what

dani: why would you even think... did you?

jamie: what? don’t be ridiculous.

jamie: i cut that shit out years ago

obsetress: in vi and rebecca's lavishly furnished guest bedroom later that night…

dani, whispering: we could, you know

jamie, half asleep next to her: wot

dani: steal something. they wouldn't miss it

jamie: dani, we can't just––

dani: that print over there is nice though, isn't it?

dani: would look nicer at ours

em: the most illegal thing dani has done is smoke a joint so she’s READY

obsetress: she is ITCHING obsetress: anyway they absolutely take it and the next time vi and rebecca come to theirs for "a quaint, country weekend" viola doesn't even notice, but rebecca squints at it for a minute

em: sjhfjsh,afasf

obsetress: be gay, do crime -dani clayton, probably

obsetress: new crack headcanon: dani always trying to rope jamie into doing benign little gay crimes with her

obsetress: smoking a joint, stealing vi and rebecca's print, stealing owen's veggies

em: jamies like babe u know i’ve. been to prison right. i don’t really want to- and danis like no i only mean SMALL crimes

em: Funny Crimes

em: jamies like oh well actually i love fucking with viola i’m in

obsetress: the only thing that could convince jamie

obsetress: jamie's like "what if we replace viola's green tea with that silly detox green tea" and dani is just like

obsetress: "i see you trying and i love you so much for that"

em: i am wheezing at ‘what if we gave viola laxatives’

dani: she has a delicate constitution she’d know Immediately

jamie: (eating some suspiciously old leftovers) rich people are fucked

em: jamie: i’m gonna rearrange her books

obsetress: dani visibly cringes

obsetress: ”don't tell me that's gonna bother you too" "i–– nO"

em: full on greenhouse scene pphht. no?!

obsetress: flashback to: dani and viola rearranging her library for fun on a rainy day

em: jamie: i’m gonna buy cleanskin wine and put expensive labels on it

dani: now THATS funny

obsetress: full on jamie taylor bootlegging operation

[later edit: cleanskin wine is an Australian/New Zealand term for cheap unlabelled wine.]

obsetress: jamie: look, dani, you went from bootlicker to bootlegger

dani: hey!

em: relabelling garbage wine for fun and profit

em: viola does that wine sniffing thing and she’s like mm. do i detect some notes of willow. a lovely cultivar and damie are trying. so hard not to lose it

obsetress: rebecca side eying the two of them

obsetress: what is friendship if not just exes fucking with each other

em: so true bestie

obsetress: omg final thought before i ptfo on the book rearranging

obsetress: when they were together dani def suggested to vi that she organize her shelves by color and viola just stared at her in horror

obsetress: ”i know americans are illiterate dani, but really?" "and i know the british are notorious snobs, but seriously?"

obsetress: (it is not as toxic as it sounds. they're mostly just snarking at each other and end up kissing against a bookcase like half a minute later)

obsetress: and just. imagine how happy viola is when rebecca moves in with her massive collection of russian poetry volumes and automatically just starts slotting them in in alphabetical order by author's last name

obsetress: vs. at dani and jamie's where jamie just leaves books where she leaves them and lets dani take care of the rest

em: at mike don’t worry we will meaningfully flesh out ur side characters

audacity: anyway I'm slipping away from work for 1 minute to say leftist jamie and liberal vi still lives in my head rent fucking free thanks to y'all because it's literally—

audacity: i am kindly asking it to stay In My Head

em: ‘liberal vs leftist ding ding ding round one fight’ has been RUNNING around my head

em: viola saying landlords provide a valuable service wrt housing and resources and dani has to HOLD jamie back

audacity: vi: capitalism is an important aspect of our society since it provides much-needed inspiration for the working class—

obsetress: five times jamie and viola got into a fight at their standing damvibecca biweekly dinner and one time they didn’t

---[bonus:]---

em: i wanna believe jamie and viola realise they both have an incredibly niche interest in common, and jamie HATES this (violas like oh ho ho i have charmed this jamie taylor, she absolutely has not) but i can’t figure out what the fuck the interest would be

em: maybe maybe some intersection of storytelling and folklore and ghost stories but i cannot figure it out

obsetress: jamie hates it but suddenly she’s been talking to viola about rural hauntings in northern england and viola’s been talking to her about rural hauntings in southern england and two hours have gone by

em: dani: it’s nice to see you guys get along :)

jamie: ……… >:/

[trashworldblog]

RIGHT?? and since we dont have almost any info on his backstory (how old is he? how long has he been time traveling? how many trips?) theres really no way to guess what can come next. which means we can get REALLY silly with it. i always thought he based his episodes on his travels. so its possible that the puppets that the genie knows about are only the ones that were on the show. or maybe the genie did a Really good job and found ALL the puppets and there really is no puppets left.

yeah i think the items being shelved is interesting because its a good way to represent something happening in the past. especially since its LITERALLY behind ryan. like in his past and physically.

oooh i see. thats really good! maybe ryan had to give something of the professors in order to save him. the satchel really is the only thing i can think of that would be important and irreplaceable to the professor.

another caveat i was thinking of is what if the professor only had a limited time on earth or if ryan / the professor now owe the genie a favor. or if the professor had to promise not to make anymore puppets and is now breaking that promise and the genie is gonna fucking get him again.

yeah i think the hat might be back but he isnt wearing it on his head? and its probably due to logistics puppeteering or with lighting.

also! last season i thought the puppets looking different was just due to madison being ridiculously talented (and she is. i mean LOOK at the meteor!! so cool!) but i thought it was just an artistic choice and not lore relevent, but they ended up all being holograms! and now the most recent puppet has more of that puppet history vibe so 👀 maybe things that seem to just be logistical choices/not lore relevant may be! idk! keep an eye out!

ALSO YEAH time travel shenanigans are always super weird to explain and its absolutely okay if puppet history never goes into that becuase i dont really care about flaws in logic with that stuff and also.... its a puppet show, ive already bought into the world. i dont think anyone is gonna be upset about it. plus every aspect of this show is super good and well done so like... if the time travel logic isnt 100% accurate to ... whatever makes people think time travel logical... thats ok.

yes!! the article definitely means that they did die and death did say he remembered a little blue nerd dying in dino times. THEY DIDNT GO THRU A CANNON EVENT *cue miguel ohara theme* but either way the genie is gonna be PISSED cus not only is the professor isnt dead, hes still causing puppet chaos.

i think he might have a new satchel in the trailer, and i mean, its possible he got a whole new wardrobe becuase he's bigger now. so none of his clothes and accessories fit.

i think s6 will be chill lore breadcrumbs and s7 will have more lore stuff! maybe not the same level as s5 but 👀👀 itd be cool if it did👀👀 id like that 👀👀. i think it just depends on if shane has a good idea planned out and when s7 comes out. he had a year to make a season 5 and that seems like the right amount of time for him to make a BANGER loreful season.

YEAH I HOPE RYAN AND THE PROFESSOR CAN BE FRIENDS FOR A WHILE. I NEED THEM TO BE NICE. i dont see the prof getting revenge on ryan at any point, he seemed genuinely regretful in s5 and genuinely relived and happy to see beef boy. and yeah him and his family looking up at the stars... 😭😭😭 that scene still makes me cry. its just so sweet and sad. <3

thanks for talkin lore!

hey guys im gonna write about lore now because im a little drunk and i have Big Feelings and Ideas about the puppet show. LETS GOO!!

ok so some background: we know the substitute [the hologram professor] was defenestrated by ryan at the end of last season. we also know that defenestration doesnt ALWAYS mean that the person dies. (also can a hologram die? sources say probably not. i mean he can kick and bite but just because he can manipulate matter doesnt mean he can die per say. he can probably recharge.)

we ALSO know that the power box and victory algorithm are outside of watcher hq in the dumpster. this was revealed in 6x01 and DEFINITELY not a mistake. im like 95% sure this plays into what happens next.

so whats my theory???

i do think this season is gonna be pretty chill lore wise. i think after 4 and 5 we deserve this little victory lap and shane is gonna give it to us. im almost positive there wont be any post show lore bits (except for MAYBE the season finale) there might be more breadcrumbs along the way though! and i will be looking out for them

when we DO get into lore times, i think the most likely things to happen is something that threatens both the professor and beef boy or one of them. i think we explored alot of the internal struggles with their friendship and i think their friendship is solid and earned now. (and it feels repetitive to make them not be friends again). ive kinda been waiting for a team up, and im very excited for this to happen!!

so, my #1 theory is its probably gonna be the substitute coming back to get his revenge. probably with a little help to. top suspects are 1) genie, 2) the devil, 3) asmodeus? and 4) secret fourth thing (a character we dont know about yet) i am curious about what the substitute is gonna do with the victory algorithm. in the lore scene where hes watching the machine count, it really does seem to just be a machine that counts points like jokes and puns along with correct answers, and all it does is award a ticket for the winner. i dont see how that can be manipulated into being helpful for him.

we also gotta get those little puppets out of the wondreum arena!!! and the professor doesnt seem to know that they're stuck in there!!!! i think that is also gonna play a role at some point, but i can't quite place where it falls yet. maybe the substitute will mention it and the professor will be like ??? WHAT??? maybe that's first on the professor's priority list??? maybe they'll get them back before the substitute comes back? idk yet. but its definitely a factor and something to keep in mind. i remember the substitute saying that god said that they could send one representative to earth to figure the whole mess out anf they sent the substitute, im just curious how any puppet was supposed to do anything about that??? are they supposed to bring their now unanimated objects to the wondrium arena for the puppet souls to inhabit??? idk but im excited to see how this part gets resolved cus i wanna see the little guys get outta there.

[pseudophan]

thoughts on cursed child

ok unpopular opinion but i fucking LOVE the stage version of cursed child. like ok yeah the story is weird and there’s some super strange additions to the overall hp lore BUT the characters are so good (specifically like the main characters) and though i do agree that if you just read the “book” it’s not that great it’s truly a fucking amazing experience to witness it live.

idk i guess i just think that as a theatrical performance it’s truly really good. like it’s very impressive as a theatre production and even with the kinda Out There plot choices it WORKS when its on stage like theatre is ridiculous and it works so well but i also very much get that it seems very Out There if you don’t have the privilege of seeing it on stage and only have the “book” to read cause just reading it makes it very weird and As A Book it’s not very good if that makes sense? like the outlandish parts of the story kinda really work as a theatre production cause theatre is inherently super dramatic and weird so while reading about voldemort having a daughter is stupid as hell it’s kinda,,,not that bad when you see it on stage. 

that being said i will say i went into the cursed child with 0 preconceptions or even any knowledge at all about anything cause i watched it during the previews so i was one of the first to see it (technically before it was 100% finished like i know they changed some lines/scenes for the official premiere) so i didn’t watch it with any already formed opinions about certain kind of out there aspects of it like it was all 100% a surprise and that certainly added to my enjoyment of it cause regardless of how stupid some of it is the fact that it caught me of guard made me enjoy it if that makes sense?

most of all though while i cant speak for any later portrayals i will say the actors for the initial run of the cursed child on west end were fucking phenomenal and the way the whole show flowed and the characters and the way the fucking gift shopped changed in between the parts?? like it changed from a normal hp/hogwarts gift shop to a voldemort/voldemort day one???? it was so fucking cool???????????? idk i have a soft spot for the cursed child and i totally acknowledge that it’s kinda weird in the grand scheme of the harry potter universe but i also can’t help but genuinely fucking love and adore it bc watching it was one of the best days of my life and even just as a generic theatrical production separated from the concept of harry potter its so fucking well done like ik it won a lot of awards and thats SO deserved cause i cannot thoroughly describe nor explain how fucking incredible the show was like the magic looked like real life magic but Right In Front Of You like i was in the middle of row E so five rows from the stage which is one of the best seats in the whole theatre and i was fully blown away by the practical effects and the lighting and idk ugh it was so good

[unnamedelement]

even the WORDS studio ghibli steampunk inspired 4th age au is intriguing to me - I’d love to hear more about it!

I am so pleased you asked and I will talk about it forever. Basically, the idea is just something I write on--a paragraph or two here or there--when I'm feeling down and need a pick-me-up, though I haven't done so since May now as I've been so busy! It's set in a 4th Age Middle-earth in which all the basic things are the same, except that the technology advanced slightly differently, as if every major cultural and intellectual hub in history hadn't been wiped out in the first two ages. I mean, they have been, but the ideas were revisited and propagated instead. Which puts us in a bit of a steam era, a bit more modern warfare, I suppose (I imagine it as, like, Legend of Korra equivalent technology, but subtracting the radio broadcasting). I call it Studio Ghibli inspired because, in my head, thats the way its "animated," with similar color palettes to, say, Howls' Moving Castle, My Neighbor Totoro, and Spirited Away. The same sort of observational attention to detail, but not overwrought, and an air of the magical in the every day... It's really just a domestic sort of thing, with an added twist of the Straight Road being shut for purposes that aren't entirely clear to me yet but, somehow, tie into the technological aspect. It, at least, explains to me why the elves are so goddamn committed to technology and Middle-earth in the 4th age, in this universe, in a way that aren't in non-AUs because, well, Tolkien. The lore of this ridiculous sandbox is only very slowly evolving, but giving elves unresolvable sealonging is a certain type of hurt/comfort that is highly attractive to me. Whoops. And it is Legolas- and OC-focused, of course, because that's just who I am as a person. There is also a university in Minas Tirith because I say so, and because I need to project my woes about academia somewhere, but I try to justify this to myself by tying it into that preservation and propogation of knowledge aspect. Anyway, that was way more than you asked for! Ah well. Here is the first scene I ever wrote in this AU, because I've never actually shared it publicly, I don't think. I believe @roselightfairy has been the only one privy to my nonsensical AU drafts thus far! I usually just ramble about it in tags, but you caught me this time, ha. Thanks again for asking!

Legolas twisted the ring on his index finger distractedly as he waited for the train. It had been a long day in Minas Tirith and he was ready to return to Ithilien, to take in the rolling plains that edged the river as they flew past, for it was always only then that he could reflect, in uninterrupted silence, without hobbit tourists at his heels or the accidental shove of an impatient lady in the shops.

There were too many people in Minas Tirith for Legolas. Accordingly, and much to Aragorn and Gimli’s chagrin, it was not his favorite place.

But they understood, and that was all he could ask. He tried to schedule all of the city errands on the same day or two, because longer than thirty-six continuous hours in Minas Tirith and he became an absolute nightmare with which to coexist. For the most part, his friends and family had accepted this and he was trying, after all, but that did not make it any less obnoxious for the rest of them.

It did not help that the only place in Gondor with Sealonging-certified healers was on the fourth level of the city. A wildly insensitive choice, in his opinion, though he kept that perspective well enough to himself after Ithildim and Gimli had tried to advocate, a few years before, for the relocation of the clinic to the Healing Houses on the Sixth, in a string of rejected proposals at City Council.

Gimli would not look at Aragorn for a month after that, and so Legolas had quit his whingeing and suffered in silence the abrupt buffeting that occurred in the busy streets after his appointments. He made it his own prerogative to schedule at the end of the day so he could spend the morning with enough wherewithal to do his errands and take care of whatever sundry things he had managed to commit himself to. It kept him relatively sane and it kept his friends on speaking terms and, so, that is what he did. (And it was not as if any of them had control over the West-way being shut, so there was no point in any of them falling out over it.)

Legolas heard the heavy-huffing of the train approaching long before its lights rounded the bend of the river. He preferred to walk to the stop at the Docks than get on at the Gates because it gave his mind time to settle. Waiting that close to the river after therapy was, perhaps, not his brightest idea, but the pros outweighed the cons and what Ithildim didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

Besides, it was Summer, and the cattails were up again all around the station, and a family of osprey had made the light pole by the river their nest, and it did lift his spirits to watch these things alone as the world moved on about him...

A few more people rushed the small platform as the rumbling of the train on its little steel bridge above the banks increased. Legolas only readjusted his ring, unbuckled the satchel in his lap and rummaged around for the hardtack he had bartered for Ewessel. (She would have no idea how many pieces were there originally—what she didn’t know also wouldn’t hurt her). He was just tugging on the pair of oversized leather earmuffs Gimli had given him a few years prior when he started taking the train routinely when two pairs of very familiar shoes suddenly appeared in his line of sight, and he froze—

There was no point in hurrying—he had been found out so he adjusted his earmuffs and tucked the hardtack into his cheek, noticing vaguely that the sturdier pair of boots were well-shined and dirtless, while the more slender, elvish ones were caked in mud along the edges and splashed up the shins.

He had thought Ithildim was in the Emyn Arnen buildings today. He had seen him head off that way through the trees and he had obviously been there for that was forest mud and yet here he stood with Gimli, clearly just come from their Minas Tirith office so...

He had apparently been wrong. It would not be the first time he had lost track of other people’s schedules.

The train rolled up slowly, then, and Legolas finally looked up from his seat on the bench to find Gimli at eye level—glaring at him with arms crossed—and then, looking further up, was Ithildim—hair neatly pinned back despite his other uncharacteristic untidiness—and he looked down on him with a bemused and mildly irritated expression.

Legolas did his best to offer a guileless smile.

It did not work, and Ithildim pulled him to his feet. “I thought your appointment was at 4(?), auren.”

“It was,” he said, and he shrugged. He was tired and did not want to talk yet. “I prefer walking the plains for an hour or so after, to calm my mind. I did not know you would be here.”

“You do this every time?” Ithildim asked with eyebrows raised, and then Gimli was chivvying them forward as the train doors opened and the inward-bound commuters poured out and the outward-bound ones moved forward.

“I did not know you would be here,” Legolas only said, shrugging, as they found a small table in the back of the car and piled around it.

Ithildim opened his mouth to ask again but Gimli interrupted—

“That is answer enough, Ithildim,” he said softly. “Leave him be, hm?”

“But—”

“He is always back to himself by the time he gets home, is he not? Let him do what he needs to do. He is his own keeper, Ithildim.”

Legolas was no longer watching them, and he instead stared out the window as the train moved forward and he was rocked slightly as it picked up speed. He did not notice the sound of a crinkling bag or the half sandwich Gimli slid in front of him. He did not notice Ithildim watching him wearily but intermittently as he arranged his notes on the small table, comparing a neat chart to x’s drawn on a map spread across its surface.

Outside, the sun was dipping dark but his mind was far away, and his mouth felt dry as he finally blinked and turned away from the flashing landscape.

Gimli had placed a reassuring hand by his thigh as he leaned over Ithildim’s map, and Ithildim was watching him unashamedly, silver eyes narrowed as Legolas glanced at him.

He pulled a travel mug from his backpack and handed it across the table to him.

“I take medicine for this now, you know,” Legolas said quietly, and he considered the coffee and tilted his head, waiting for Ithildim’s reply.

“I know,” he said immediately. “But you have that look in your eye that you get when…”

“Ithildim, he is his own keeper,” Gimli interrupted firmly, and Ithildim looked away. “That being said, Master Elf, it is summer again—“

“I know that—“

“—and the weather folks are predicting a mighty storm this week, which is probably why you are like this.”

Legolas picked up the coffee without a word and reluctantly drank it, and he twisted his ring again as Gimli continued:

“I’ve told Aragorn again and again that he would be much better served employing you lot for storm prediction than the fellows he has but…” he trailed off, and Legolas smiled.

“But he thinks it is unethical to use a bunch of Sea-longing elves for the protection of king and country, yes,” Legolas finished. “Honestly, those of us who are afflicted are going to suffer whether or not he consults us, so I’ve never understood his reticence.”

Ithildim looked up again and was finally smiling. “You are a bit like a barometer, in that,” he admitted. “Gimli has a point here.”

Legolas laughed. “So, what? We wait until I become uncommunicative and morose and a general pain to be around, and then we send Aragorn a warning letter? What, set smoke signals?”

“This is our stop,” Gimli was saying as he folded up Ithildim’s map and notes and shoved them into his hands. He stood up and gestured at the elves to join him. “Normal people would use the message systems, Legolas, but since you refuse to—”

“Really, Gimli?” Ithildim had pulled Legolas to his feet and was dragging him by the hand out the door. The wind was heavy beneath the eaves of the trees that overhung their stop. “We are lucky he only uses birds. Otherwise it would be constant updates about the exchange rate of rye, or flash-pictures of bread, or flowery descriptions of some lady he met in the gardens!”

As they started down the side path to the houses they shared with Saida and the children Legolas laughed again. “It is mushrooms I am fascinated with right now, Ithildim. It is painfully obvious sometimes that you do not listen when I speak.”

“Mushrooms?” he asked, turning to Gimli.

“That is his current passion project, yes. Have you not been in the downstairs bathroom recently?”

“Thank you, elvellon. I am so relieved someone listens to me.”

“Eru, Legolas, you know the downstairs bathroom is supposed to be for Ewessel so she doesn’t slow anyone else down in the mornings.”

Legolas had walked past them now and was several feet ahead as the main house came into sight. He shrugged and turned, walking backward. “It was her idea, Ithildim. You can take it up with her. I am in her good graces now, and I am not playing with the fire of adolescence to tell her no on your behalf.”

Gimli was laughing now and then Legolas had turned and took off toward the house. By the time they arrived a few minutes later, the lights had all been turned on or lit and Legolas was at the kitchen table with Ewessel herself, helping her with her schoolwork.

He barely looked up as they entered. “Stew on the stove,” he said quietly, and Ithildim sighed to hear the distance in his voice.

The door swung in again as Saida came in with Alfirinion at her heels—

“Smells like rain,” she announced as she slipped off her shoes and dropped her bag to the ground.

Alfirinion was just unloading his bag and armful of books onto the table inside the door when the house shook with a loud crash of thunder, and the building sound of rain—gentle to pounding and persistent—began to beat at the house.

Ewessel looked at Legolas, who had gone still beside her, and turned to her family. “I have known for days it would rain tonight. He is better than any weather report, if you are paying attention.”

“Ewessel,” Saida said with quiet admonishment, and she walked up and pressed a kiss to her niece’s forehead before settling down beside Legolas. “How about an early night?” she said to him quietly. “We can talk about our project tomorrow evening.”

Legolas cleared his throat and looked at his hands. “Yes, I think that would be good. The table isn’t…”

“Ewessel will set the table, won’t she?” Saida said lightly, and Ewessel closed her ledger and sprang to her feet. The dining room and kitchen were suddenly in motion and Legolas sat silent in his seat, until he dropped his head, defeated, into his hands, waiting for the sound of the rain to stop sounding like the crashing of waves at the shore.

“Tell us next time you notice, child,” he could hear Saida saying from the stove, and there was muttering under breath before Ewessel and Alfirinion were back in the room, placing a bowl at each seat.

There was the scraping of chairs around him, and then the feel of a cool glass pressed against his hand.

“It is just water, Legolas,” Ithildim was saying at his shoulder. “Drink, auren. The wide world is still here.”

And so he drank and ate and listened to his friends talk.

Alfirinion had had an argument with a peer at Rangers (though he had won, because debate team and shadowing Arwen over the summer had apparently paid off), and Ewessel was displeased no one wanted to see her forestry project (which, to be fair, was a log covered in mushrooms she had taken from Legolas’ project in the bathroom, so no one was particularly empathetic). Saida had made progress on curriculum redesign in her department at the main university, and Gimli and Ithildim had gotten clearance to start a project they were partnering on, to bring heated, running water to a new town outside Osgiliath.

Legolas, however, had only made stew. Had run errands for the family and for his business. Had gone to his appointment. Had lost himself to the wind and left his family fumbling.

But the stew was, at least, enjoyed, and that was better than nothing...

After dinner, everyone gathered in the sitting room to listen to Alfirinion practice his closing arguments for his competition and, eventually, Legolas fell asleep between Ithildim and Gimli on the couch. The last thing he was aware of was someone slipping headphones over his ears and dropping the needle on the phonograph so his senses were flooded with crackling birdsong, and then there was a blanket about his shoulders, and he was gone.

[painted-crow]

I haven't been on tumblr in a hot century so it feels a little weird to be writing a submission to you... but I just bingeread most of this blog and your way of explaining the shc system is so gloriously comprehensible that I really want to pour my brain out at your feet and have you explain the bits to me.

I hope life is treating you well and thank you for the awesome blog you run. The way you describe things and the way you help people sort themselves is clear and clever and so very kind of you to do, and that's what I appreciates about you. :)

(This was a chunk of a submission from someone who ended up sending in a second version that I answered in depth, but the fan mail portion from this first version was so sweet that it seems mean to just delete it. So here it is, as a #cutie post. 😊)

[ravenaveira]

Ok, time for my review of Kh3 Re:Mind Dlc

This is gonna be long, so be prepared, and yes there will be many spoilers so if you dont want spoilers of the game then you probably shouldnt read this, but if you dont care then stick around.

I will start off with my unbiased and critical opinion.

From the title menu alone you already know what this game is gonna be about. Kairi is gonna be center focus, or should say specifically Sokai, and Riku will be virtually non existent.

Now I know what your thinking, well duh its all about saving Kairi of course Riku wont have that big a role and she’ll be the main focus, and to that I say no shit sherlock I already knew that. My issue isnt that it was Kairi focused because I already knew that and still pre-ordered the DLC, but my issue is what this title screen represents and my fears were proven correct.

Let me elaborate

Riku is just as much of a friend to Sora as Kairi is, from the beginning of the series its always been Sora, Riku, and Kairi, thats the way its ALWASY been. But from this title screen I could tell Riku’s bond with them wasnt gonna be present at all and I was right.

I’ll elaborate further

I know Im jumping way ahead here but bare with me, at the end of the game after Sora rescues Kairi they travel the worlds together, Sora notices he is fading away which is why he goes to the many different worlds he has visited but now with Kairi, spending his final moments with her before he finally disapears.

See the problem? Sora doesnt involve Riku at all in his final moments being alive, he is just completely absent during his entire remaining life. Sora only spends time with Kairi during his final moments, Riku wasnt shown with them once.

I know some people say well we dont know how long Sora was alive before vanishing and he was probably the one who organized the party, but did we see that though? did we see any signs that Sora was alive for more than a day or two? did we see Sora talking to anyone like he was setting anything up? NO, it was all about Kairi and Riku was completely forgotten.

I can understand if Sora wasnt dying then it wouldnt matter how much time he spends with Kairi alone, but Sora was fading away ANY SECOND and he didnt spend any of his remaining time with Riku at all, even at the beach party who is Sora sitting next to alone with before he finally vanishes? Kairi. That is inexcusable and a huge insult to Riku and his bond with Sora, hes just completely excluded, that is unforgivable.

These new added scenes to the ending actually made it worse than the original version of it, before we didnt even know Sora was around for more than a day and just assumed they all had a beach party afterwards to celebrate getting everyone back and saving the world, but now we know Sora was actually around for an extended period of time and made no effort to spend time with anyone other than Kairi, not even his best friend Riku did he spend time with for his final hours, that is despicable.

Another major issue is how Sora keeps saying his journey started with losing Kairi in this game, as if Riku wasnt ALSO lost that day, as if Riku wasnt the reason Sora kept on his journey even after saving Kairi and sending her back to Destiny Islands, as if he didnt fall to his knees and bawl his eyes out finally reuniting with him, as if he wasnt content with spending the rest of his life trapped in the Realm of Darkness with Riku, as if for the entirety of the base game of kh3 Sora wasnt constantly and only thinking about Riku and how many things he wished he could show him.

Apparently in Remind none of that happened, none of that mattered, it was Kairi that was his main motivation, it was Kairi that started his journey, Riku wasnt involved in it at all.

That is a huge issue with this DLC, it treats Riku like a side character and of little importance to Sora, in the base game they handled them fine minus that on instance in the Keyblade Graveyard where Sora says ‘Alone, Im worthless’ even though Riku’s right there but other than that their relationship and bond was handled very well but in Remind? practically non existent.

Now onto the story aspect, if your not into time travel and have trouble understanding the many variations of it then your gonna have a bad time because it gets VERY confusing to follow, which is why you should never introduce time travel because it becomes way too complicated to keep track of and not only that you also have to worry about things like paradoxes, ripples in time, alternate timelines etc. Its a complete clusterfuck to keep up with and manage so time travel really shouldnt have been introduced in this series.

Chirithy tells Sora that no matter what he cant change the past again, yet there are times where Sora does just that so exactly what cant he change? for example, when Roxas appears he asks Sora to do him a favor which is essentially getting the X back from Xemnas in their names. Sora does several things to make this happen and even Kairi gets a couple swings at Xemnas this time but then the two of them are basically caught and restrained inside shadow balls [pause]

See the prob? this is a huge change to that fight, Kairi never took a single swing at Xemnas, she just stood there and got snatched up, Roxas never asked Sora for help getting the X’s back from Xemnas, and Sora and Kairi never got restrained by Xemnas and knocked out.

Chirithy explicitly said Sora cant change what happened and no matter what he has to accept it for what it is, yet here he is, changing what happened. Maybe you could argue well this is an alternate timeline, even if it is that makes all of this irrelevant and means it never happened because the true ending is the one where it didnt happen, making this semi useful Kairi moment really pointless because at the end of the day its not canon, her being useless is the true outcome, none of this matters.

That is extremely disappointing, so even if you alter the past for the better it doesnt matter because its an alternate timeline and that timeline isnt the real one making this whole redo pointless and time consuming for a short DLC that was an extra 30$ to play.

So the time travel is very confusing and even if you follow it, it ends up being very disappointing when you realize none of it matters.

Moving on to some of the tied loose ends, Im glad they explained why Aqua froze up after saying ‘We stand together’ and I like how we get to see how Young Xehanort came to have the beliefs that lead to what he did and also MOMs subtle influence on him succumbing to darkness.

He told Xehanort that he would outgrow the robe and no longer need it because if he was truly powerful then he’d be the one controling the darkness, this leads to Xehanort later begining to travel without the robe and being corrupted. So we know now that MOM also influenced that as well and is very sketchy, even more now than he was before since this action greatly influenced what Xehanort eventually does and all the pain he caused, all of which would have probably never happened if it wasnt for him.

But thats just my theory and what I got from it.

I liked that we got to see Namine for a brief moment where Sora basically brushes her off and completely forgets about thanking her, this is a plotline Im pretty sure at this point is just never going to get resolved. He just tells her to go to the Final World and walks off, which makes no sense because Sora was surprised to see her in the original playthrough.

Another change was Lingering Will dying to protect Sora, again this never happened because Sora was busy fighting alongside everyone in the maze while Lingering Will and Terranort were fighting away from them. After Lingering Will died for him then Sora is pretty much squeezed to death by Terranorts Stand, or atleast knocked unconscious.

So much about these are just so confusing as to how they are happening when Chirithy said the events couldnt be changed I just stopped questioning it.

But atleast this time its made clear that Namine is the one who sent Lingering Will to help everyone and how she did it, so now people can stop saying Kairi is the reason everyone survived because it wasnt, without Lingering Will they would have all died a second time.

Basically the first half of the DLC is just recap with some minor changes and additions to the cutscenes, you get to play as other characters like Riku [optional] Aqua [not optional] and Roxas [optional] but other than that its basically the same thing all over again for the first 3-4 hours of the DLC, that is ridiculous.

The new content finally starts when Kairi is shattered, funny how the game gets good after Kairi dies xD I’ll stop.

Anyway once Kairi dies is when we finally get explorable Scala, but not without having to endure an insane fight with tons of heartless and nobodies and yes its more complicated than you think. It doesnt matter how many heartless or nobodies you kill, they will keep coming until you kill this one red heartless with way more health than your average heartless has.

After that you can pretty much wander around Scala as you wish and this is the only time where you can buy items or food so make sure to do that if your low on items. If your low on money there are minor enemies there that you can kill to get some so take advantage of this opportunity because your not getting another one.

Your goal in Scala is to basically run around, solve a couple puzzles, and get 5 of Kairi’s heart shards, revealed to having to be 7 later on. Sound fun? besides being able to see more of Scala’s layout, not really. But its a good place to take a breather before getting back into the big battles ahead.

Unfortunately your actually forced to fight the armored organization again but thankfully you dont have to do the ENTIRE final battle over, just that one section which I appreciate but wish we didnt have to do any of it at all.

So after we’re done Scala we get in MY opinion the two best parts of the entire DLC. We get to see what was going on with the rest of the keyblade wielders back home and it was INSANE and extremely well done, everybody had a chance to shine.

When everyone was swept away and Mickey was down and out, it was amazing seeing Mickey push himself back up and slowly with what little strength he had take on all the armor organization BY HIMSELF severely weakened, yet still powerful enough to hold them off and stand his ground. He really showed us WHY he is the King, so THAT I really enjoyed. It was extremely well done and one of the most memorable parts of the DLC.

The next part was even more insane and well done, which is us getting to fight as all the keyblade wielders against the armored organization and even get some cool dialog and team attacks in between, it was just amazingly well done seeing everyone work together and switching between characters was just so epic and enjoyable.

Honestly I could play those two parts over and over again and enjoy it everytime, their just that good and the most memorable in the entire DLC.

Coming back with Kairi and killing Xehanort together with all the keyblade wielders including Kairi this time was satisfying to see but it excludes Xehanorts and Eraquses final words, I mean yea seeing Xehanort have a semi happy ending put off alot of people but at the same time, seeing Xehanort come to the realization that he was wrong about everything and giving the Wayfinder trio closure by seeing their master one last time and hearing his apology to them just held more weight to me.

Im not saying I think Xehanort should be redeemed as easily as he was, but I feel like excluding Eraqus and their final words made the ending feel hollow, just ok we beat the bad guy, happily ever after now. Thats pretty lackluster and unsatisfying In my opinion.

Finally the ending....

Heres where Im gonna be biased and give my personal thoughts. Warning if your a fan of Kairi skip to the very end of the review where I give my overall rating

I hate the ending, for the reasons I listed in the beginning but also many others. I get the main focus was gonna be Kairi since the DLC was about saving her, Im not mad about the obvious, Im mad about the execution.

The Sokai agenda was so forced and apparent its not even funny, they shove it in your face so hard yet when Sora is talking with Chirithy he still refers to Kairi as a friend, really? your shoving this pairing down our throats just to have Sora still friendzone her? Im not mad because I dont want them together anyway but I hate the games being played here, you either want them together or you dont, pick a friggin side Nomura.

And while we’re on the subject, I hate, HATE, how this game is so heavily romance focused when Kingdom Hearts was NEVER about romance to begin with, it was always about friendship and bonds. Not in this DLC though, no now its all about Kairi and being with her forever, traveling the world together, holding hands, all this lovey dovey nonsense nobody invested in the plot could give a rats behind about.

Sure people who are into Kingdom Hearts for the romance of course they dont mind, but Im pretty sure MOST people invested in this series are in it for the story, not some stupid pairing, and I HATE how much they shove it down your throat because it is just so forced and obvious what they were doing.

This was all damage control for Kairi, who has been a useless damsel in distress and dues ex machina in every single game shes been a part of. I repeat, EVERY SINGLE GAME SHES A PART OF.

Kh1 - Kidnapped, unconscious, Sora needs to die to save her.

Kh2 - Kidnapped, held hostage, Sora needs to find and save her.

Kh3 - Kidnapped, unconscious, is killed twice, Sora needs to die to save her.

Do you see what I fricken mean? Every fuckin game its the same danm thing over and over and quite frankly Im sick of it. You might as well say this is a Mario game because Kairi is princess Peach always gettin snatched up and Sora is Mario always going through insanely deadly trials to get her back, and then it happens all over again.

This DLC was damage control for that, instead of immediately getting snatched up by Xemnas she actually gets a few good swipes at him to no avail of course, and then she fights together with Sora against armored Xehanort, all of which is just damage control for her not doing anything in the entire franchise and pandering to her fanbase that are constantly screeching for playable Kairi and for her to do something.

It was also damage control for how non existent their relationship was and what a joke its been since Kh1. They arent fooling anybody because thats exactly what this was, otherwise why you have to try so hard to CONVINCE us how important she was to Sora? why did Riku have to get sidelined so much just to boost Kairi up? why’d Sora completely disregard Riku as a part of his journey? why did Sora not spend ANY time with ANYONE for his final moments alive? its so obvious why. The only way to convince anyone shes actually important and relevant is to play down everyone else or exclude them entirely.

Congratulations, you got your wish, good for you fandom, but at what cost?

The time they spent forcing so much Sokai could have been used to tie up way more loose ends than there were but nope, gotta squeeze in that Sokai, thats what yall really here for right? fuck off.

The two best moments of the game was so short lived its not even funny, this DLC was full of so much padding in the first half, forced romance and pandering for damage control they forgot to actually make this a decent DLC.

Since I recorded my gameplay from start to finish I can actually tell you the amount of old content vs the new

3-4 hours of mostly what we already seen with a few changes, I only died twice

1-2 hours of new content, probably less because I got lost and died alot

That is unacceptable, 30$ for only 10% new content? that is a robbery.

Not only that but the worst part is the Limitcut episode, databattles have always been optional for competative players who like the challenge. Now you are FORCED to fight these INSANELY hard bosses, all 13 in order to get the final bits of the aftermath of the story.

WE PAID FOR THIS, this wasnt free we PAID for it and yet we’re basically told ‘Hey if your a casual player and want the rest of the story? well you gotta fight 13 of these insanely hard databattles that used to be optional but now their madatory for you to get the rest of your moneys worth. Too difficult? cant do it? well too danm bad, get good or go home we got your money already so screw you guess you’ll never know’

That is a fucking robbery and a huge slap in the face to people who are invested in the story, not proving their the best by fighting insanely difficult battles no matter what difficulty your on. It wouldnt be an issue if this was always the case, but these battles were always OPTIONAL for competetive players to do if they WANTED to, but now its mandatory and if you cant do it then oh well middle finger to you.

I couldnt even beat Vanitas, I fought him first and then Luxord and I couldnt beat either of them so I just said fuck it and went on youtube to see what I paid to see for free. 30$ wasted on a game I cant even finish, your out of your fucking mind if you think thats fair and excusable.

Thats why at the end of the day I give it a 5/10, its not good but its not bad either, its just decent. But if you asked me if it is worth the time and money? fuck no, my advice? watch other youtubers play it and keep your 30$

If you want it just to play as some of the characters, experience the new content for yourself, and play the databattles then by all means get it.

But if you think thats not enough for you to spend 30$ for then dont get it.

Overall Re:mind gets a 5/10, useless padding for majority of the first half of things we’ve already seen and cant skip because theres new scenes mixed in, forced romance that nobody but shippers care to see, severely lacking new content, and unfair extremely hard mandatory databattles just to see the final aftermath of the story which is kind of important setup for the next game.

Fuck this DLC, this was my fist time EVER buying a DLC for ANYTHING and thanks to this its probably my last. So thank you Re:Mind, for ReMinding me why I never bought DLCs in the first place.

Ps - Im so glad playable Kairi was optional, thats one of the only things this DLC did right.