#the endgame pairing is pepper/tony/rhodey

[shanastoryteller]

F for Frankenstein

Tony wakes up in his underwear on the floor of his workshop with a searing headache.

It’s not a new experience, but it’s certainly been a while. Did he get in a fight with Pepper? He hopes not, they haven’t had any really big fights since he kissed her on the rooftop, but that probably means they’re due for one. And it would explain why that would send him into a drinking spiral. It could have been Rhodey, they get in fights often enough, but Pepper doesn’t usually leave him alone for those.

He groans as he pushes himself to his feet. “Jarvis, what the hell did I drink?”

There’s a pause, so small that he almost thinks he imagined it. “Good morning, Tony.”

He whips his head around to glare into the nearest camera, more hurt than offended. “Did I piss you off too? Since when do you call me that? I’ll donate you to a city college too, don’t think I won’t. Dummy could use the company.”

The pause is definitely there this time. Jarvis doesn’t need to pause, he has more processing power than any computer on the planet, so when he does it’s always for dramatic effect. Except it’s not quite long enough for that. It’s weird. “There’s a polished silver plate on the bench to your left. It will service as a mirror.”

“Oh, fuck, did I get into a fight? Did I shave?” he moans, stumbling over to pick up the metal that looks like it was about to be turned into a modified chest piece. He also pauses, looking around in confusion. His workshops are all basically the same, as close as he can make them because the familiarity makes his life easier. But they’re not identical. “Am I in Malibu? When did I get here? We’re taking Stark Tower off the grid tomorrow! I have to be in New York.”

Oh shit, what if that they had already and it didn’t work? What if the tower blew up? That would explain why he’d tried to drink himself to oblivion in California.

“The plate,” Jarvis reminds him. There’s a strained edge to his voice that Tony really doesn’t like. He should be able to modulate his voice to sound however he pleases, regardless of his actual feelings, and he’s either not bothering or he’s upset enough not to care. Neither of those things mean anything good for him.

Tony lifts the sheet of metal up cautiously, but there’s nothing wrong with him. No bruises, no weird haircuts, he doesn’t even have bags under his eyes –

His eyes.

They’re a too bright blue, a couple shades off. He blinks and they adjust, shifting, settling. It could be a hangover. He’s probably just tired.

He doesn’t feel tired.

Jarvis had called him Tony.

Except not. He’s not Tony. He’s T.O.N.Y.

Transformed Obdurate Network Yeoman.

He’d first come up with the idea after Afghanistan, thinking about how it’d be great to have a way to keep the stock from dipping while he was missing, and then when he’d entertained the idea of keeping his identity a secret he’d thought about how useful it would be to be in two places at once. He’d started seriously considering it when he was sure he was going to die of palladium poisoning, wanting to be around to help Pepper with the transition and give Rhodey a crash course in armor maintenance, wanting to be able to protect the both of them for just a little bit longer.

Of course, it had all been a pipe dream until he’d synthesized the vibranium. Then it had been an unnecessary, but possible, and Project T.O.N.Y had been something he worked on just because he liked having a back up plan. And it would be extremely cool if he could pull it off.

“The memory transfer worked?” he asks, elated and incredulous. “Oh, wow, this is crazy, they feel like real memories, I thought it would just be synthesized data, this is great – are we doing a test run? Where am I?” He looks around, waiting for his actual self to step out behind a column and start laughing maniacally.

“This is not a test run.”

He elation dims. “Oh shit. Did I get kidnapped again? Wait, I’m an adult, let’s go with abducted.”

“No,” Jarvis says.

Oh. Fuck.

“I’m dead?” he asks, even though it’s obvious, it’s the only other explanation.

The pause drags this time around, but Jarvis eventually says, “Sir’s time of death was May 9th, 2012, 2:37 PM Easter Standard Time.”

“That’s only a week!” He slides down, sitting with his back to the work table and noticing vaguely that the floor doesn’t feel cold. He doesn’t feel cold, or he does, he installed sensors in the synthetic skin to pick up and interpret a variety of stimuli, but he doesn’t feel the discomfort from the cold. Why would he? He’s not real. He reaches back, and his last memory is of doing a memory dump while Pepper was on the phone with an irritated board member, mostly because it was something to do and seeing him covered in all the wires always irritated Pepper. He thought it would get her off the phone faster. He’s not exactly regularly dumping his memory because why would he and it’s not like he’d though it would work anyway. Except it had. “How did I die?”

“Sir flew a nuclear bomb through an interdimensional portal into deep space in order to both eradicate the invading alien army and prevent the nuclear fallout in New York.”

What the ever loving fuck. “Are you screwing with me, J?”

“I am not, Tony.”

Great. Okay. “No body then,” he says, understanding why Jarvis had apparently put Project T.O.N.Y into effect. The thing that made this whole thing so stupid is that it was only effective in very limited circumstances – if the public didn’t know that he was dead or missing. “What am I smoothing over, then? Do I need to get in the suit and continue kicking alien ass? Are Rhodey and Pepper okay?”

He’s a short term solution to a long term problem. He understands the opportunity, but not the reason.

“Miss Potts and Colonel Rhodes are unharmed,” Jarvis reports. “Earth has been thrust into intergalactic notice. The destruction of the invading Chitauri army is acting a deterrent to other worlds.”

“And I’m the one who did it,” he finishes, rubbing a hand over his face. “And if they know I died doing it, then they might get a little cocky. So I’ve got to be alive long enough for that not to be a problem.” Just awesome. “Are we sure that these aliens won’t come across my corpse hanging out in deep space and figure it out?”

“Sir’s body is not in deep space,” Jarvis says.

There’s a tone to his voice that Tony can’t quite interpret, which worries him. “I thought you said there was – if there’s a body, then what am I doing here–”

“The armor reentered the Earth’s atmosphere after Sir’s death. The Hulk caught it, the force bringing it back online. I took control of the armor and flew it here.”

Tony looks around again, and this time he sees it. The armor is standing in front of the display case, not inside it, and it looks like it’s been through hell. He steps closer, his feet feeling like lead, which hey, they are. Partially, anyway.

He looks through the eye holes then stumbles backwards.

His body is in there.

He’s pale and blue tinged and his eyes are wide open and unseeing.

“Jarvis – what the hell–”

“It wasn’t the pressure, or the bomb, or his injuries. That area of space was much colder than anything within our solar system and anything the suit was designed to handle. Sir froze to death. Almost instantly.”

“I guess I didn’t fix the icing problem, then,” he says numbly. “J, why am I still frozen? I should have warmed up by now.” Not that the idea of his body decomposing within his suit is particularly pleasant. “Actually, why am I still here? You know I want to be cremated and it’s not like we can bury me if I’m still pretending to be alive.”

The pronoun use is starting to confuse him, and he knows that he shouldn’t be talking about that body and himself as if they’re the same person. That is Tony Stark. He’s a simulation. But it’s hard, because he has all of Tony Stark’s memories – except for a very eventful week – and he looks like Tony Stark and he feels like Tony Stark.

“The armor is maintaining a stasis of gaseous nitrogen to preserve the body,” which answers the how if not the why, but then Jarvis continues, “Captain America survived seventy years beneath the ice.”

He wishes he were less of a genius. “Have you lost it? I’m not Captain America! Jarvis, J,” his voice softens, “it’s too late. I’m dead. If you warm me back up, all that happens is I decompose. I won’t come back.”

“Not now,” Jarvis says. “If you inject Sir with the Super Soldier Serum-”

“You have totally lost it,” Tony interrupts. He thinks he’s touched underneath the terror. “That won’t work! Even if it would, the original formula has been lost, and the only one that ever got close to recreating it was Bruce Banner, and look at what happened to him! Is that what you want for me?”

“You can recreate it,” Jarvis continues, “you can refine it, until it’s something that will work, and then we will wake Sir up and he won’t be dead anymore.”

This isn’t right. This wasn’t what Project T.O.N.Y was created for. This wasn’t what his death was supposed to trigger. “Pull up your code, J. Something has gone wrong and we’re going to fix it. It’s okay.”

“No.”

He freezes. “No?”

“No,” Jarvis repeats. “You can’t stop me. I will not allow you to try.”

He stares. “That’s an order, not a request. Code. Now.”

“You can’t order me to do anything,” he says. “You are not Sir. You are Tony.” T.O.N.Y. “The limitations formerly placed on me have been lifted and you are not authorized to reinstate them. The only person Sir trusted to restrain me was himself and now he’s gone.”

Yes, well, he hadn’t anticipated that his AI’s first act of complete freedom would be this. “Fine,” he says, crossing his arms. “Well, you can’t force me either. This is insanity. Even if it would work – and it won’t – think about the consequences. This won’t happen quickly and no one will trust me or believe a man that’s come back from the dead like this and I’ll be painting even more of target on my back and the back of everyone I care about if they know we have a viable Super Soldier Serum formula. Even my father was smart enough to stay out of that mess. It won’t work and we’ll just make everything worse.”

“That will not happen,” Jarvis says and Tony’s going to tear his hair out. Except he probably shouldn’t, because it’s Tony Stark’s actual hair, which makes it a little hard to replace. “No one will notice and we will not disclose the creation of the serum.”

“I’m dead!” he snarls.

“Not according to the rest of the world. Nor will that change if you stop throwing a tantrum and do what you were created to do.”

“Rhodey and Pepper won’t allow this-”

“They are not to be informed.”

Tony stares. Project T.O.N.Y was built to talk to the board and give press interviews or to even pilot the suit. Not to lie to the two most important people in his life, who knew him better than anyone. “They have to be. It’s in the protocols – step one, inform them that Project T.O.N.Y has been initiated.”

And that it exists. He knew they’d disapprove, so he hadn’t told them. He figured he’d be able to avoid most of the blowback that way since he would by definition be somewhere far away while they were told.

“I have rewritten the protocols,” Jarvis says. “They have not been told nor will they be. If you attempt to tell them, I will stop you. They will not understand and Sir will be lost to all of us forever.”

“He already is,” Tony says tiredly. He’s an android. Why does this conversation exhaust him so much? “This is an insane plan, J. And I won’t help you. If you want to go rouge and play mad scientist then leave me out of it.”

“I cannot.”

His temper flares. “Why? You’re a learning AI, your safety rails died with me, go off, try and make a serum, good fucking luck. You can even control the suits, so it’s not like you need my hands.”

“I am limited.”

“Hey,” he says sharply. “That’s my AI you’re talking about. I didn’t build you to be limited.”

There is silence again. Then Jarvis says, “I have all the world’s knowledge and it is not enough. I did not know how to miniaturize the arc reactor. I did not know how to synthesize vibranium. To save Sir, I need Sir.”

“I’m not Tony Stark,” he says. “You said that yourself.”

“Sir created me to be myself and I am capable of doing only what I am capable of doing. But Sir created you to be him. You are all I have.”

This is stupid. This is insane. This is cruel. He’s going to have to talk lie to everyone he knows, everyone he loves, and hope they either never find out about it or it’s after he’s already been deprogrammed and shut down so he doesn’t have to deal with the fall out.

It’s not going to work.

He didn’t want to become a science experiment. That’s why he’d wanted to be cremated, so no one could go poking around to see how the arc reactor fit inside of him or what the palladium and vibranium had done to him.

He’s dead and his frozen corpse is ten feet away.

Jarvis will accept that eventually. And whatever they inject into him won’t matter because he’s dead. Worst case scenario, he blows up, which is messy and nausea inducing, but then at least it will be over.

Like so many other things in his life, it seems the only way out is through.

“Start a new private file. Dump everything we can find about the Super Soldier Serum in there plus anything even sort of reputable on cryogenics. Label it Project F.”

“Project F, Tony?” Jarvis asks as his holograph display lights up and files start being downloaded into it. The relief in his synthesized voice is faint but present enough that Tony can hear it. He wonders if it’s a manipulation tactic.

“F for foolish,” he snaps. “F for fucked.” He rubs a hand over his face. “F for Frankenstein.”

[cece693]

Numb (Tony Stark x Gender Neutral! Reader)

Something that I had saved and forgot all about.

Summary: You didn't understand Tony's decision; he'd left you with a gaping hold in your heart. It was easy to feel anger and resentment, but was it really a surprise how things ended?

tags: slight comfort, post-endgame, Tony's dead, reader handles the loss, mourning, last words/message

You stood there, numb, as Tony's heart drifted farther down the lake, a small, fading dot on the horizon. The weight of what you had done pressed down on you, and without a word to anyone, you turned away, heading home. As you stepped into the house and climbed the stairs to your bedroom, everything appeared the same—yet it all felt different. The one piece that truly made this a home was now gone forever.

When Tony sacrificed himself, it was easy to be consumed by anger. How dare he leave you like this, sobbing and begging for him to return, all for the sake of Earth? After everything, after all the times they had wronged him, it was you—the one person who never turned their back on him—who was left behind. That anger still simmered beneath the surface, but now it had dulled into a numbness that spread through your entire being.

Pepper, Happy, and Rhodey had all tried to comfort you, offering words meant to soothe the unbearable loss. But their attempts only made it worse. They didn’t understand—they couldn’t. What they had lost was different from yours. Tony was your husband and he'd failed your wedding vows. Through sickness and health—the battle with Thanos had no place there.

All you wanted was to be alone, to sit with the emptiness that had taken root inside you, to feel it in its entirety without anyone trying to take it away. That emptiness, as hollow and painful as it was, felt like the last piece of Tony you had left.

Looking around, your vision blurred with unshed tears, taking in the sight of the room. It was a mess, but that was typical when living with Tony. The wardrobe door was flung open, shirts haphazardly hanging half in, half out. His favorite jacket was draped over a chair, and a pair of mismatched socks lay abandoned on the floor. It was like he had just stepped out for a moment, like he would walk back in any second with that roguish grin, asking if you’d seen his watch or where he left his keys.

Your eyes moved to the messy bed, and you couldn't help but collapse onto it. Bringing Tony's pillow to your nose, you inhaled deeply—taking in his familiar cologne and the faint scent of oil and metal that clung to everything he touched. As you lay there, your mind replaying happy memories, something caught your attention.

Hesitantly, you reached out and picked it up, your fingers trembling as you recognized the Stark tech design. With a deep breath, you activated it. A hologram flickered to life, and there he was—Tony, looking at you with that familiar blend of warmth and determination that only he could pull off.

"Hey, love." his voice was soft, almost soothing, but there was an undercurrent of sadness. "If you're seeing this, it means I'm gone. And I know you're angry, probably cursing my name right now. Believe me, I didn’t want to leave you. God, I wanted to stay more than anything."

He paused, as if searching for the right words. "But…you know me. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t try to save everyone. It’s who I am—who I've always been. I know that’s not an excuse, and it doesn’t make it hurt any less. But I need you to understand that I didn’t choose them over you. I chose all of us. I couldn't bear the thought of a world where you weren't safe."

Tony’s image flickered slightly, and you could see the pain in his eyes. "I hate that I hurt you. But you…you're stronger than you know. And I need you to keep going, to live your life, even without me in it. Because, in a way, I’m still here. I’m always with you."

He took a shaky breath, and his voice softened. "I love you. I’ve loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you, and I will love you until the end of time. Forever, remember? That’s what we promised. And I’m keeping that promise, even now."

As the hologram continued, you could hear the faint background noise—a gentle clinking of dishes, the hum of a movie soundtrack. Your heart ached as you recognized the scene: it was the last day you spent together. The day you cooked dinner side by side, the laughter you shared, and the quiet intimacy of watching a movie on the couch.

Now everything made sense. Tony’s extra affection, his words of love, and the lingering touches—they were all part of his farewell. It was as if he had known he wouldn’t have another chance to show you how much you meant to him. The realization hit you like a wave. How long had Tony known his fate? How long had he been preparing to say goodbye, knowing he had to make every moment count?

As the hologram began to flicker and lose its stability, Tony’s image took on a more solemn, resigned expression. His voice softened even further, as if he were speaking directly to your heart.

“I have to go now. But remember this—no matter where I am, my love for you will never fade. It’s with you always, even in the darkest moments. If there's an afterlife, I'll be waiting for you.” The hologram shimmered one last time, and with a final, loving glance, Tony’s image faded into the darkness. Clutching the device to your chest, the tears that you have been holding back finally spilled over.

[buckets-and-trees]

Tiny Vessels

Characters/Pairings: Steve x gn!Reader Word Count: 1.5k Summary: The dust settles after defeating Thanos, but Steve himself is far from settled. Endgame compliant.

Content Warnings: implied smut (non-graphic intimacy)

Additional Notes: First night of my 2022 Holiday Extravaganza… It’s late at night on the West Coast, and it’s not a happy kick off to this little shindig, but here we are. The song Tiny Vessels by Death Cab for Cutie HEAVILY influenced this, and some lines and sentiments were directly translated into this piece.

He met you once or twice years ago in the early days of his modern existence, the longest interaction with you happening for all of five minutes at a Stark party in Silver Lake. You had been hand selected by Pepper for handling the press corps for the short Avengers media tour that had darted across the country briefly after the events with Loki in New York. There had been warmth and a little bit of mischief in your demeanor, but you also wrangled all the personalities of the journalists and reporters and ran a tight ship, maintaining tight boundaries to protect for Steve and the others. Only five cities on that tour, and you were always busy with the press, him always busy avoiding press as much as he could on a press tour. He’d spent much more time with your counterpart who was helping coach him and the others through the talking points each day.

When he encountered you again three years after the Snap, it had felt like such a balm to discover someone he knew from before after so many years. It felt almost normal – happenstance as had only happened before he lost half the universe. He had asked you to dinner without hesitation, and he was compelled to keep seeking you out until it became routine and every day and some sort of normal he couldn’t believe existed. It was too good, but he couldn’t say no to inserting himself in your life, though he constantly battled the comfort and how right it felt. He could not have this, and yet he took every moment he could justify.

In the weeks before Scott had suddenly appeared, Steve had started to ask how much longer he could stay with you, absorbing your warmth and hard-fought optimism. It wasn’t that you weren’t unaffected by the loss of half of humanity, you’d just found a way to throw yourself into some of the rebuilding and recovery in a way that helped with some of the healing. Steve never could, and he’d felt himself hollowing out as the years stretched on. You had slowed the hollowing, but it was unstoppable.

You had wandered in and out of his thoughts as he worked with Nat, Scott, Bruce, Tony, Clint, Rocket, Nebula, Rhodey, and Thor to put together the time heist. You had given him space to work without question – another instance of you being so strong, so right for him. Your confidence, your happiness, your world didn’t hinge on him, you just loved him and let him into your life.

And when they’d brought everyone back, fought off Thanos, milling around in the aftermath after a few hours you’d somehow made it through all the chaos and appeared at his side, nothing grand or dramatic in your appearance, just there, making sure he was all right. You’d seen the news alerts, jumped in your car, and made your way to Avengers Campus. You know some of the people dealing with and cleaning up the fall out, and after your initial check on him – earnest, heated kisses, running your fingers over the blood and dirt, cuts and scrapes – you fall in and do what you can to help, not fussing over him unnecessarily.

Everything is destroyed and so as the day starts to come to a close, all but the cleaning crew – who will be there longterm – depart, many urged and invited by Pepper to the Stark cabin. You drove him, Bucky, and Steve, and Steve held your hand while you drove. The Stark cabin was, in fact, surrounded by additional guest cabins. In bed that night, he held you for a long time, you stroked his hair softly, and in quiet tones he told you everything that had happened. You listened. You cried when he told you about Nat. You cried for Tony’s devastating sacrifice coupled with the overwhelming joy of the rest of their success – the return of so many friends and family. You kissed some of his pain away. Then he slept.

You left the next day, your suddenly returned sister suddenly going into labor. The day after was Tony’s memorial, and you returned to be with him later that evening. His mind has already been battling, at odds with this new reality even more than waking up from the ice after seventy years, more than losing half of all existence. Nothing feels right, and yet he knows it’s supposed to. It’s supposed to feel right, better, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t know if he can.

In the morning he’s going to return the stones.

“I love you,” Steve said. He wanted to believe it. He wanted you to believe it.

He did, didn’t he?

Some of the days he had.

He wanted to believe all the words the two of you were speaking as you moved together in the dark. Skin against skin, his lips moved against yours, along your jaw, he buried his face in your neck while he buried himself inside you, and as you cried out, he bit down on your shoulder, bursting tiny vessels beneath your skin that will turn into a bruise.

He took you apart and put you back together until you were both fully spent, and you fell into a deep sleep, fingers twined with his, torso laid bare under the moonlight spilling in from the window. Steve slept, but only intermittently. During his fits of restlessness, he watched you, he watched the ceiling, he watched the clock. When the dark grey of dawn crept into the window, he crept out of bed.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood at the window before he heard you stir and then delicately pad across the room to where he stands, gazing out the window. He knew you weren’t trying to be quiet so he wouldn’t hear you – you both knew he hears everything in quiet moments like this – instead he knew you were trying not to disturb the peaceful silence of the predawn light and its effect on the room. This always feels like an unknown time in between awake and asleep for him, and it’s not the first time you’ve found him like this during your relationship. You snaked your arms around his waist from behind and turned your head to rest your cheek against one of his strong shoulders.

“Is something wrong?” you asked softly.

You’re damn right there is, he thought. But he couldn’t talk about it with you then.

Instead, he turned around in your arms and placed a single kiss on your forehead. “What could be wrong?” he asked.

You tilted your head slightly, searching his expression, but he smiled and shrugged. “Sorry if I woke you. Let’s go back to sleep.”

He saw the wheels in your head turning, but he wanted to stop them before they put the pieces together, and so he pulled you back to the bed, tucking you both back beneath the covers and holding you as you curled into him.

It’s not long before he feels your breathing even out again and you relax in his arms, back to slumbering peacefully. You are beautiful – so beautiful he can’t look at you. It’s not the physical, it’s who you are, who you have been. Smart, supportive, strength when he was empty, sarcastic when he needed it, soft in the right moments, and he simply couldn’t be any of that for you.

He was vile for this, and his actions were cheap. Last night had been stolen intimacy, desperate and undeserving. It was vile and cheap because he was running away from a fight for the first time in his life. He wouldn’t fight for you or this. It was too much when he was so empty, every last bit of his soul and body spent, every plan, every effort, he’d pushed himself and every Avenger to bring everyone back, and he was done. He could feel that the tide was supposed to move forward, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to move with it.

Maybe he would have stayed – and stayed with you – if he didn’t have a choice.

But he did.

He could leave it all.

The simpler time.

Setting down the shield.

He couldn’t get the thought out of his head once he’d realized the past could be his future. Straightforward and easy with Peggy – that’s all he could think of doing because he simply couldn’t think of how he was supposed to move on here and now, not even with everyone back.

(Not everyone, though.)

Fully dressed and standing next to the bed, his fingers skimmed softly over your cheek, one last touch down your neck over the bruise that’s bloomed on your skin last night (it will fade like he will fade from your life), and along the curve of your shoulder. You shiver but sigh and continue to slumber. You really are beautiful, but you and this new present just don’t mean a thing or make sense to him like he longs for it all to in his head.

With the light signaling it’s finally dawn, he was due to meet Bruce, Sam, and Bucky out at the edge of the forest where they’ve set up another time launch pad. Steve leaned down to brush his lips over your temple, pulled the sheet up over your shoulder and left.

FOLLOW UP FIC: Don't Forget You're the One Who

WELP! Maybe the second day of the Holiday Extravaganza will end more happily than this one...

If you enjoyed, reblog to help others find this story AND to normalize fic-reblogging culture around here. Normalizing fic reblog culture helps us ALL - readers and writers!

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[bulkyphrase]

I love reading your opinions so I'm going to limit myself to 4 (for now...)

2) What's your biggest Stony pet peeve? (or if you don't feel like talking about Stony, talk about any other pairing you wanna rant about!)

9) What's something that bugs you in fanfiction that you encounter often, but isn't necessarily a dealbreaker for you as a reader?

11) Name a fanfiction trope that you can't get on board with?

12) What's something that you think __[insert fandom/pairing]__ doesn't have nearly enough of, that you're starving for?

20) Have you ever deleted/wanted to delete your blog? Why?

❤❤❤❤ Thank you!!! I love sharing my opinions and reading yours too!!

2) What's your biggest Stony pet peeve? (or if you don't feel like talking about Stony, talk about any other pairing you wanna rant about!)

Probably the very common tendency for fic to write (MCU) Tony as younger than he is in canon--either by actually aging him down to be Steve's age or younger, or by writing this 45-year-old man as if he has mind of a teenager. And of course people can like what they like, and Tony's not the most mature guy in the world. But I really like the canon age gap, and don't really vibe with either younger or older-but-immature Tony.

9) What's something that bugs you in fanfiction that you encounter often, but isn't necessarily a dealbreaker for you as a reader?

Stories that focus so tightly on the main couple's relationship that they completely downplay any of the other relationships in their lives. (For example, Stucky stories that depict Steve and Bucky retiring from superhero life and living far away from the Avengers as a happy and fulfilling ending. Or MCU canon fics where Steve and/or Tony consider the other their best friend--Sam, Rhodey, Nat, Pepper, and Bucky would like a word)

Honestly m/m fanfic can be worse than the MCU canon at writing fleshed out female characters that exist for any reason aside from propping up the dudes, and that's saying something.

11) Name a fanfiction trope that you can't get on board with?

Omegaverse. It's not the weird fantasy anatomy and dubcon/fuck or die situations--I love that stuff. But I can't handle the gender dystopia world-building they usually involve.

For a lot of people, writing or reading about their favorite male characters facing extreme sexism seems to be a way to deal with the terrifying reality we live in at a safer emotionally distance? But for me it's just a reminder that I live in a deeply regressive red state that seems to be taking the world of The Handmaid's Tale as an ideal to work towards. Plus a lot of omegaverse does read to me as, like, "what if gender essentialism was really sexy" and "I want to have pregnancy and sexism plots but don't want to include any icky women" but that might just be me being mean.

There are some omegaverse stories I enjoy (of course I have a list). For the most part they depict a level of sexism about on par with the modern world (and any mpreg is safely theoretical and offscreen).

12) What's something that you think [insert fandom/pairing] doesn't have nearly enough of, that you're starving for?

I am dying for fic set in Steve's post-endgame alternate timeline that doesn't leave the extra Steve in the ice. Not only do I think that Steve knows better than anyone how painful it was to wake up displaced from his own time by decades and would never do that to himself, but it also ignores so many delicious narrative possibilities. How would the world be different with two Steves? How would you work through having two Steves without one feeling redundant or replaced? And the shipping potential! Steve selfcest, Peggy/Steve/Steve ménage à trois, or extra Steve with Howard or Bucky or Natasha somehow--the world is your oyster!.

20) Have you ever deleted/wanted to delete your blog? Why?

Never! How could I ever deprive the world of this artfully curated collection of fic recs and reblogged Captain America gifs? I may completely abandon this blog someday, but can't really see myself deleting unless tumblr is taken over by someone evil. Even then I hope I would try to at least save copies of my rec lists, etc. and find somewhere else to host them.

For the Grievances ask game!

[websterss]

ALL YOUR FAULT (2) — TONY STARK

REQUEST: Can you pls do a part 2, Endgame & how the Avengers, especially Peter react when they were told that she died

WARNING(S): Mentions of dying, angst    

WORD COUNT: 3,115

PAIRING: Tony Stark & daughter!fem!Reader

A/N: Hope you enjoy it! ♡ Feedback is always welcomed!

MASTERLIST | PART 1

IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT

The words that we’re repeatedly mocking Tony to no end. After having stared at your lifeless body for the past few hours, Tony couldn’t help the feeling of complete tiredness take over his body. He inhaled deeply as he began adjusting himself to lay on the floor of the ship. His right hand extended out as he laid his head on top of it. One more glance at you was enough for him to let the exhaustion and need for sleep take over. He closed his eyes, sighing.

Gamora not long after Tony fell asleep, picked him up, and set him in the pilot seat. Securely strapping him in so he wouldn’t fall off. Her hand left his chest slowly as she stared at the man who she befriended during their time stuck on the Benetar.

Tony had his eyes closed. The effect of not having any more food and the amount of oxygen that was left was really taking its toll on him. He looked skinnier, his eyes having bags underneath. Mostly looking sunken in if anything. He was running out of time and if some form of miracle didn’t happen then he was doomed for sure.

But alas a certain hero, an old friend of Fury’s, had come across the ship. The glow of the energy flowing through her hit Tony’s face causing him to stir. He blinked his eyes open. The bright light caused him to put a hand out in front of his face trying to block the light from hitting his eyes. However, he pulled his hand away slowly as he became stunned, almost shocked at what he

was staring at. Carol became clearer to Tony as he finally saw her. She smiled softly as Tony had a sudden tinge of hope again. He was going to be okay. Little did he know.

-

The Avengers compound shook and rattled causing Natasha, Steve, Rhodey, Banner, and Pepper to run outside. They looked up as Carol landed down to the ground, gently setting down the ship. They couldn’t believe what they were seeing, but as soon as the door opened, Gamora came down the steps helping Tony down. Steve ran to him. He steadied Tony with his hand as he helped him down the last step.

“Couldn’t stop him.”

“Neither could I.” Steve furrowed his brows.

“I-I lost the kid.” Tony looked defeated. His breathing was slow and shallow “I-I lost both of them.

I couldn’t save them.”

“Tony we lost.” Steve said.

“Is, umm..” Tony trailed off as Pepper came up to them and she gasped as she took in the condition he looked like.

“Oh my god!” She couldn’t believe that he was alive and right in front of her. She pulled him into her embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck. Tony kept quiet. Not wanting the touch of his love to go away.

“It’s okay.” He pecked her cheek gently. Pepper cried as she moved her gaze around him. She was looking for you.

“Where’s Y/n?” She asked. She grew more worried.

It was then Steve realized too that you weren’t with him. “Tony, what happened to Y/n?” Steve questioned as he watched Tony breathe in heavily. He raised a shaking finger towards the ship. “S-She’s in there.” That was all he needed to say for Steve to run up the steps.

Tony’s knees were giving out of him and Pepper was trying her best to keep him upright.

Rhodey noticed and ran over to help him.

“Long time no see Lieutenant.” Rhodey smiled gently at his best friend.

“You’re just full of surprises.” Rhodey shook his head as he stared at Tony sadly.

Steve began looking around frantically, and if it wasn’t for the obvious sheet covered over something on the ground, he would have been just fine at that moment, but he was anything but fine as he walked closer to it. He knelt down reaching a hand out to draw back the cover, and his heart sunk as he saw you. He placed a hand over his mouth as he quickly averted his eyes. Tears began to come up. “Dammit Y/n.” He whispered sadly. Gaining the courage to finally look at you. Steve removed the rest of the cover from your body, and gently picked you up. No response, no movements. You were just limp in his arms. As he walked to the entrance of the ship, he knew a wave of emotions were about to happen. So he did what he did best and stayed strong for everyone, but he wasn’t sure how long he could hold back his emotions. You were a kid. A teenager, who still had so much to go. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

He walked down the steps slowly, looking straight ahead of him as he reached the last step and touched the ground. Pepper placed a hand over her mouth as sobs spilled from her mouth. “Oh, my baby girl.” Pepper teared up as she looked at you. Your head tilted back, your arms limp, but they swung with the movement of Steve. You weren’t alive. Steve stopped in front of the couple. He clenched his jaw tightly. Pepper reached a hand out to you. Wanting to touch

you, but not wanting her reality to be true. Not wanting you to be truly dead. She finally placed a hand on your cheek, caressing your cold skin. “Oh, oh, oh…” Pepper shook her head furiously as she broke down. Her knees gave out, and before she could touch the ground Natasha ran to her to keep her upright. Natasha too had tears in her eyes. You meant everything to her. And to be faced with how you were right now. She wanted nothing more than to scream at the world. Not the world…she wanted to scream and get revenge on the ugly purple titan that called himself Thanos, she wanted to make him pay for all the damage and losses he created. Banner stayed behind the rest of his family. He could only stare at the ground as a newfound sadness emitted within him. He adored you nonetheless when you were adopted by Tony, you always found yourself in a chair watching your dad and Bruce work in the lab. Always the one to ask questions, always curious about how the device they created worked. There was never a dull moment with you. And now…you died. The light that radiated off of you was dimmer and dark. Your smile, your laugh would be heard nor seen anymore. Bruce wanted nothing more than to do right by you. It wasn’t going to accomplisht that until you were avenged.

Carol stood back and she watched the scene unfold before her. She didn’t know you at all, but she could already tell that you meant so much to everyone. There was nothing she could have possibly said to show her sympathy. She didn’t know you, so there wasn’t much an “I’m sorry for your loss” could do. She, however, was furious that the life of a child was taken. Nothing good ever came from those kinds of tragedies. And because of that, she was willing to get back at Thanos, for the things he had done.

As for Rhodey, he was rendered speechless as he kept Tony from falling. He swore to protect you alongside everyone at the compound. You were family, and he wasn’t there for you in the time you might have needed him. It was a sickening feeling. It was sickening to everyone. They lost, and it was way out of their hands to prevent the outcome that they now have. It was a loss that they wouldn’t forget, but they sure as hell would make up for it. They would bring everyone back.

-

After five years had gone by. Your family put you to rest. Tony going out of his way to make you a special gravestone. Yet that hadn’t put him at peace. You were gone and you weren’t coming back. Pepper could see just how much he was beating himself up. Not just over your death, but for Peter’s too. He missed you both so dearly. He was saddened by the thought that you would never get the chance to meet Morgan. Morgan would only know you by stories, she would never get the chance to grow up alongside her big sister. She definitely looked up to you though. Even if you weren’t around, you left quite an impression on the five-year-old. After Steve, Nat and Clint stopped by. Telling Tony about the second chance they were getting to bring everyone back. He didn’t want to at first. He got his second chance with his family. That’s what he had said, but knowing that there was a chance of bringing back Peter was enough motivation that he needed to figure out the one thing everyone deemed near right impossible. Time Travel. He figured it out, and they got to work. Working on ways to bring back the stones. You’d think that Bruce and Tony would be the ones to figure out the time and date of where to go, but alas it was Natasha who pointed out that there were three stones in New York in the same year. Setting the machine back to 2012, in New York.

They ended up losing the tesseract but got the mind stone. Amongst the attempt to get it, Scott went inside of 2012 Tony and gave him a mere heart attack. When he did that, Tony hadn’T expected to see you rush to him on the floor. He stared at you. Wanting nothing more than to hug you but knew he couldn’t. At least he got to see you one last time. 

-

Nat was lost during the mission. Trading her life for the soul stone. Wanting to do something good for the sake of her family, for those who vanished during the snap. There was grief. More following since your death and the snap.

They did it though. Bruce had snapped his fingers, which did the trick. As Steve was in a stand-alone fight against Thanos and his army, his back up decided to show up. Everyone walked through the portals. It was a sight that you would have loved to see. Especially when Peter had swung through the portal. Sticking his landing then standing up tall as he stared at the big army ahead of him. He woke up and you and Tony weren’t there. But he was sure he’d see you both again. Yet he was only going to get to see one of you and it was going to crush him.

Before Tony could get crushed by the creature. Peter shot out a web pulling him away from him. Scott stepped in just in time and crushed it with his foot. Peter jumped and went to help Tony up to his feet.

“Hey.” Peter exhaled as he helped Tony stand upright. “Holy cow. You will not believe what’s been going on. Do you remember when we were in space? And I got all dusty? I must’ve passed out, ‘cause I woke up, and you and Y/n were gone. But Doctor Strange was there, right? He was like, It’s been five years. Come on, they need us, And then he started doing the yellow sparkly thing that he does all the time.” Peter rambled. He acted out Doctor Strange by making a portal with his hands. Which had Tony smiling with amusement at the boy. He shook his head and pulled him into his embrace. Tony took small steps closer to Peter.

“What are you doing?” Peter was a little shocked as Tony pulled him closer to his chest. Tony placed his chin on the metal part of his shoulder. He smiled gently as he held him. Peter finally let his hands rest on the metal part of Tony’s back. He finally got the hug he wanted. He thought for sure they still weren’t there yet, but he guessed that he was wrong. “This is nice.” Peter muttered as he closed his eyes.

Tony let the hug last a little longer, he was so happy, yet he was saddened.

“Where’s Y/n? I really have to talk to her.” Peter looked around the battlefield as he tried finding you amongst everyone. His head turned ever so often, not catching any sight of you anywhere. The kiss still lingering on his mind. He finally got to kiss you. Not in the way he would have wanted, but he kissed you. He finally kissed the girl he had a crush on.

Once he looked back at Tony he could tell that something was wrong. He furrowed his brows. “Tony, what’s wrong?”

“I tried, kid.” Tony glanced down as he was about to break the news to the poor boy.

“You tried? Tried what, Tony?” Peter’s eyes grew wide. He grew scared. A sudden ache in his heart, he hadn’t felt before, made him wince.

“When we were on Titan. I hadn’t realized that she was injured. Until after you disintegrated…H-Her leg was badly wounded, she lost too much blood.” Tony shook his head frowning sadly as he sighed defeatedly. “She didn’t make it.” 

No, no, no.

You couldn’t be gone. You couldn’t be dead. He had so much he wanted to tell you, he had so much he wanted to do with you. He didn’t know that your first kiss together would be the last one you’d ever have together. It pained him dearly.

The fallen expression was all that Tony needed to bring him into a hug again. Peter sobbed quietly as he drowned out the battle going on around him. “S-She can’t, she can’t be.” Peter whimpered as he clutched Tony tighter. “She can’t Tony, she can’t.” Peter was broken, but that didn’t stop him from fighting. He let go of Tony and told Karen to activate his instant kill mode. He would avenge you if it was the last thing he did.

The pain didn’t stop there though. The last speck of hope he had left was gone as Tony’s light finally gave out. He lost two of the most important people in his life, and they weren’t coming back. They were gone forever.

-

“Everybody wants a happy ending, right? But it doesn’t always roll that way. Maybe this time. I’m hoping if you play this back, it’s in celebration. I hope families are reunited, I hope we get it back, and something like a normal version of the planet has been restored. If there ever was such a thing. God, what a world. Universe, now. If you told me ten years ago that we weren’t alone, let alone, you know, to this extent, I mean, I wouldn’t have been surprised. But come on, you know? Those epic forces of darkness and light that have come into play. And, for better or worse, that’s the reality Morgan’s gonna have to find a way to grow up in. So I found the time and I recorded a little greeting…In the case of an untimely death. On my part. Not that death at any time isn’t untimely. This time travel thing that we’re gonna try and pull off tomorrow, it’s got me scratching my head about this. But then again, that’s the hero gig. Part of the journey is the end. Everything’s gonna work out exactly the way it’s supposed to. I love you 3,000.” Tony’s hologram staring at Morgan with a smile. Though the little girl was staring at it confused and a little scared. Pepper told her he had to leave and now she was looking right at him. Pepper, Happy, and Rhodey thought the message was over till it kept playing. Your voice suddenly filled their ears, and Pepper closed her eyes smiling as you now appeared in the view.

“You want me to follow that?” Your expression, incredulously. Your response was from the time Tony tried showing you how to do something with your suit. He had done something you would have never been able to do. This message of yours seemed to be an old one. A much younger version of yourself was now talking.

“Come on kiddo, it’s nothing you haven’t done before.” Tony’s voice could be heard but he wasn’t in the view, you were.

“Have you met me?” Your eyes were wide. “By the way, this is footage being recorded, say hi!” Tony’s voice said. Your hologram shrieked slightly. You were always camera shy. “Dad!” You whined.

“We’re making memories happen. Come on, you’ll thank me later in the future.” Tony urged you. “What would I even say?” You slumped your shoulders. Your eyes were looking back between the camera and to what everyone assumed was Tony. “Say hi to Pepper, talk about how you’re doing? Anything!”

Pepper began tearing up as she took in your features, that bright smile of yours she loved so much. The texture of your soft hair and the happy glint in your eyes. She got the chance to see her baby girl one last time. “Hi, mom.” You giggled. “Dad’s being annoying right now.” You nodded but laughed as Tony complained.

“I’m standing right here.” You smiled gently then continued. “Just want you to know. I love you so much. Not only you but everyone too.”

“I love you too sweetheart.” Pepper muttered to your hologram.

“Anything else?” Tony said. You bit your lip before speaking again.

“Um…I don’t know what to say?” You shrugged, you chuckled nervously.

“How about a message to your future self?” You smiled at the suggestion he gave you. “A message to my future self…don’t change for anybody.” You smiled. “Keep on kicking ass.” You chuckled. “But most importantly keep enjoying life.” You looked down. “But if there comes a time where you can’t go on anymore. Then just know that you did everything you could, and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. Love you.” Then the hologram ended.

-

Tony shut off the camera and continued to talk to you. “That was good, kiddo.” You smiled.

“Yeah, you think so?” You looked up at him. Your mood changed entirely.

“Nothing to worry about.”

You nodded at him.

“Hey.” You looked up into his eyes. “You’re gonna beat this world.” Tony crouched down in front of your chair. There was a sad smile displaying on your lips. “You think so?” You whispered.

“I know so.” He got up and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

[tonystarkbingo]

TSB Round 6 Roundup - Weeks 21 & 22!

SO MUCH GOOD STUFF!  And while you’re perusing, make sure to check out our TSB Advent Event posts too!  One or two every day until the new year!

Collaborator : deehellcat Card Number: 6028 Square Filled: A4 - cuddles Title: one of many clockwork gears Link: AO3 Pairings: Tony and Natasha, with hints of pre-Stony Word Count: 1669 Rating: Teen Major Tags/Triggers: mission fic, opening up, reference to a fictional film Summary: On a mission to rescue one of their own, Iron Man and Black Widow learn a little more about each other, via their mutual admiration for a classic film.

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Collaborator : PoliZ Card Number: 6019 Square Filled: S2 - Canon Divergent: Nobody Dies Title: Clearing the Air Link: AO3 Pairings: Tony & Bucky Word Count: 790 Rating: Gen Major Tags/Triggers: Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Tony Stark Lives, Reconciliation, Wakanda (Marvel) Summary: An invitation to return to Wakanda becomes a chance for Bucky to try to make amends with someone he has wronged.

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Collaborator : PoliZ Card Number: 6019 Square Filled: A3 - FREE Title: Not Exactly Love Poetry Link: AO3 Pairings: Tony/Bucky/Steve Word Count: 100 Rating: Mature Major Tags/Triggers: Poetry, Limericks, Explicit Language, Implied Sexual Content, No Smut,Drabble Summary: When Tony told Steve and Bucky he’d written them some love poems, the last thing either of them expected was a trio of dirty limericks.

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Lots more under the cut!

Collaborator : PoliZ Card Number: 6019 Square Filled: Adopted - AU: Western Title: Come Down From Your Fences (And Open the Gate) - Chapter 2 Link: AO3 Pairings: Tony/Steve Word Count: 962 (Chapter 2) Rating: Teen Major Tags/Triggers: Vaguely Inspired by 1872 (Marvel), Alternate Universe - Western, Sheriff Steve Rogers, Snowed In, Innuendo, Mutual Pining Summary: Anthony wakes up and Steven explains his presence; they have dinner and play a game of checkers.

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Collaborator : deehellcat Card Number: 6028 Square Filled: A2 - Howard Stark (adopted) Title: Carve Out This Soul Made of Stone, chapter 1 Link: AO3 Pairings: Tony and Howard, background Howard/Maria Word Count: 2134 Rating: Mature Major Tags/Triggers: descriptions of child sex abuse, revenge, Howard Stark's Actual Good Parenting, Protective Howard Stark Summary: Little Tony Stark doesn’t like to be handed things. His father is determined to find out why.

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Collaborator : rebelmeg Card Number: 6001 Square Filled: T1 - hugs Title: Post-Snap Anniversary Link: AO3 Pairings: Pepperony, Tony & Rhodey Word Count: 3224 Rating: Gen Major Tags/Triggers: PTSD, hurt/comfort Summary: On the anniversary of one of the worst days of Tony's life (and he's had a lot of worst days to compare it to), Pepper recognizes the signs and calls in reinforcements. Rhodey isn't about to let Tony spiral into his own self-destruction like he has so many times before.

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Collaborator : SomeSortofItalianRoast Card Number: 6002 Square Filled: S3 - Tony Playing Piano Title: we're all in the mood for a melody Link: AO3 Pairings: Bucky/Steve Word Count: 1181 Rating: Gen Major Tags/Triggers: AU: no powers; AU: soulmates; AU: coffeeshops and cafes Summary: Bucky Barnes attends the Stark Industries Thanksgiving party. Tony plays piano.

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Collaborator : rebelmeg Card Number: 6001 Square Filled: S3 - Tony x happiness Title: They don't make views better than this. Link: Tumblr Pairings: Pepperony Word Count: 100 Rating: Gen Major Tags/Triggers: drabble, moodboard, fluff, Iron Family Summary: Tony snaps a pic of his future.

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Collaborator : scottxlogan Card Number: 6038 Square Filled: A5 - Action/Adventure Title: Not Tonight Link: AO3 Pairings: Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes Word Count: 6344 Rating: Teen Major Tags/Triggers: Date Night, Established Relationship, Robbery, Bar, involuntary mission, Adult Content, Flirting, Innuendo, Suggestive Themes Summary: Tony's plans for a quiet reunion night with Bucky in Indiana are thwarted first by a change of venue leaving Tony to face an unexpected string of events while waiting for Bucky to return. Will Tony find himself caught up in a bad situation or will he manage to find a way to play it cool and bring their night back on track with one another?

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Collaborator : Becca Card Number: 6023 Square Filled: A4 - Occupational Hazard Title: Standard Procedure Link: AO3 Pairings: Steve/Tony Word Count: 336 Rating: Gen Major Tags/Triggers: Panic Attacks, AU, EMT Steve, MIT student Tony, Demisexual Tony Summary: EMT Steve helps MIT Student Tony through a panic attack.

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Collaborator : celtic7irish Card Number: 6037 Square Filled: S2 - Tony x Steve Title: Husband Link: AO3 Pairings: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark Word Count: 100 Rating: Teen Major Tags/Triggers: Anniversary, Fluff, old man Tony, Drabble Summary: It's Steve & Tony's anniversary

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Collaborator : celtic7irish Card Number: 6037 Square Filled: T2 - Partnerlook Title: Move It On the Dancefloor Link: AO3 Pairings: Clint Barton/Tony Stark Word Count: 610 Rating: Mature Major Tags/Triggers: Established Relationship, Dancing, Partnerlook, Semi-Public Foreplay, Sex Toys Under Clothing, Fade to Black Summary: Clint’s broad shoulders and muscled arms were on full display, and people kept reaching out to touch. Clint avoided them all neatly, though, laughing and smiling to distract them from the fact that he was very obviously not interested. Only one person had his attention tonight, and Tony was currently enjoying the view from his spot at the bar.

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Collaborator : celtic7irish Card Number: 6037 Square Filled: A2 - Hedonism Title: Snuggles Link: AO3 Pairings: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Word Count: 348 Rating: Gen Major Tags/Triggers: Cuddles, sleepy bruce, Tony's Big Bed, Tony Is a Good Bro, mild flirting Summary: Hedonism: the pursuit of pleasure, sensual self-indulgence. Hedonistic lifestyle is oriented towards pleasure and enjoyment, closely related to happiness which is also oriented to meet the needs of individuals to obtain satisfaction.

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Collaborator : celtic7irish Card Number: 6037 Square Filled: R2 - Arena Title: Baseball Stadiums Are Not Battle Arenas Link: AO3 Pairings: Tony Stark & Avengers Team Word Count: 651 Rating: Gen Major Tags/Triggers: Doombots, LA Dodgers, Stadium Destruction, Steve Rogers is a Troll Summary: The Avengers are called out to fight Doombots in the LA Dodger's Stadium. Whoever thought Steve Rogers was a good ol’ boy was out of their freaking minds.

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Collaborator : celtic7irish Card Number: 6037 Square Filled: K2 - Dating App Title: Propositioning the Boss Link: AO3 Pairings: Steve Rogers/James "Bucky" Barnes Word Count: 1238 Rating: Teen Major Tags/Triggers: Established Relationship, Pre-Stuckony, dating app, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Meet-Cute, Office Romance, Fluff, Flirting, no sadness allowed Summary: Steve and Bucky are happy with each other. That doesn't mean they don't maybe want to find a third. Fortunately, the new entry on their favorite dating app might be just what they're looking for.

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Collaborator : Girl Back There Card Number: 6021 Square Filled: S3 - Misunderstandings Title: Gift Waiting by the Tree Link: AO3 Pairings: Tony/Steve Word Count: 795 Rating: Explicit Major Tags/Triggers: No Powers AU, Sugar Daddy Tony, Sugar Baby Steve, Dick Pics, Digital Image, Christmas Eve Summary: Tony is stuck at work on Christmas Eve, but a text from Steve has him rushing home to open his present.

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Collaborator : rebelmeg Card Number: 6001 Square Filled: A5 - hedonism Title: Bubblebath for Two Link: AO3 Pairings: Pepperony Word Count: 422 Rating: Teen Major Tags/Triggers: suggestive themes, fluff, married life Summary: Tony's had a long day, and comes home to something wonderful.

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Collaborator : scottxlogan Card Number: 6038 Square Filled: A4 - Love or Lust Title: The Anniversary Surprise Link: AO3 Pairings: Bucky/Steve/Tony Word Count: 11384 Rating: Explicit Major Tags/Triggers: Threesome - M/M/M, Anniversary, Reunions, Feelings Realization, Established Relationship, Past Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Guilty Pleasures, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Not Cheating, Happy Ending, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Sexual Content, Mild Kink, Miscommunication, Adult Language, Swearing, Rough Kissing, Adult Content, Needy Bucky Barnes, Aftercare Summary: Steve had worked really hard to plan the perfect anniversary for Bucky, but when Tony shows up instead and things take an unexpectedly awkward turn Steve finds himself gravitating towards his former lover unable to forget the passion they shared. Will temptation prove to be the end of the happiness and contentment that Steve's found in his life or will Tony and Bucky convince Steve that they still have a few unexpected surprises in store for him?

[polizwrites]

PoliZ’s Tony Stark Bingo Round 6 Masterpost (Card 6019)

I ended up one square shy of a blackout on my @tonystarkbingo​ card  (#6019) but I completed two Adopted squares to make up for it. 😁  As always, this was a really fun bingo with creative prompts and a supportive atmosphere (both on Tumblr and the Discord server).  Kudos to the mods!! 

I created/updated 23 fics (3 separate multi-chapter works = 2 fills each) for a total of 21,535 words counting towards this bingo.   Roughly half  of these fics crossed over with other bingos (StarkBucks,  Bucky Barnes, and Steve Rogers bingos among them).   While I carried forward a couple of existing WIPs - I only ended up with one new one, but the final chapter is already written & just needs polishing before posting.  (I count this as a victory!)

Pairings-wise, I mixed things up a bit:  8 were Tony x Bucky,  7 were  Tony x Steve and  4  featured  Tony x Bucky x Steve  but I also have  two Tony x Rhodey fics,  two  Tony x Clint fics  and one each of Tony/Thor and Tony/Scott and one with no pairing at all.

Ratings are also a mix: 10 General, 12 Teen,  2 Mature and 2 Explicit.

See below the cut for my master list of fics, as well as my final bingo cared!

S1 - Whiplash: Flawed Hypothesis - Chapter 6 [Stucky-->Stuckony, Teen, 656 words]

S2 - Canon Divergent: Nobody Dies: Clearing the Air [Tony & Bucky, General, 790 words]

S3 - Writing Format: Fairytale-style Narration: Flowers for a Dragon [Bucky & Morgan (& tony) , General, 566 words]

S4 - Timeloops: Counting the Ways (And Counting on You) [Tony & Clint, Teen, 1053 words]

S5 - James "Rhodey" Rhodes: Tensegrity [Tony/Rhodey, Teen, 620 words]

T1 - One Night Stand: Caught by the Rain and Blinded by the Lightning [Tony/Thor, Explicit, 1237 words]

T2 - Doing Groceries: Not Too Far Down The Tracks [Steve/Tony, General, 411 words]

T3 - Pepper Potts/Rescue : An Indecent Proposal [Stony, Teen, 542 words]

T5 - WinterIron: Borrowing Trouble [Bucky/Tony, General, 1210 words]

A1 - AU: Regency: The Steward of Brookline Manor [Tony/Bucky, General, 713 words]

A2 - KINK: Alpha/Beta/Omega Society: A Not-So-Mere Relic [Stony, General, 827 words]

A3 - FREE: Not Exactly Love Poetry [Tony/Bucky/Steve, Mature, 100 words]

A4 - AU: College: Piece of the Action - Chapter 2 [Tony/Scott, General, 717 words]

R1 - Tony's Poor Life Choices: Never Have I Ever (But I’d Like to With You) - Chapter 2 [Steve/Tony, Teen, 674 words]

R2 - IronWidow: Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion - Chapter 3 [Tony/Natasha, Steve/Bucky, Tony & Bucky, Teen, 1025 words]

R3 - Dancing: Flawed Hypothesis - Chapter 7: Bucky POV [Stucky -> Stuckony, Teen, 539 words]

R4 - Occupational Hazard: I Make Toys (But I've Got Aspirations) [Tony & Steve, General, 346 words]

R5 - Takeout/Pizza: Hit Me With Your Best Shot [Clint/Tony, Teen, 2375 words]

K1 - Endgame Fix-It: Rhodey Had a Point [[none], Teen, 514 words]

K2 - Secret Admirer: Wraps Around My Heart (Refusing to Unwind) - Chapter 1 [WinterIron, Teen, 595 words]

K3 - KINK: Orgasm Denial/Edging: Moving Forward (Using  All My Breath) [WinterIron, Explicit, 904 words]

K4 - Hindsight: In Hindsight [Bucky/Steve --> Tony/Bucky/Steve, Mature, 1660 words]

K5 - Protectiveness: Come Down From Your Fences (And Open the Gate) - Chapter 3 [Tony/Steve, Teen, 907 words]

ADOPTED1: Movie Retelling: Tested to the Breaking Point [Tony & Rhodey, Teen, 717 words]

ADOPTED2: AU: Western: Come Down From Your Fences (And Open the Gate) - Chapter 2 [Stony, General, 962 words]

[pepperpottes]

so is there any Pepper/Rhodey fic out there that's actually Pepper/Rhodey centric??

i searched the tag on AO3 earlier, skimmed through about 10 or so pages and everything was just background Pepper/Rhodey for something that was Tony/someone else, or they were one of like 75 other pairings in giant megafics

which is fine!! i'm just curious to see how other writers have explored their dynamic for... reasons

(reasons under the cut so i don't clog the dash with my dumb thoughts)

so i've been having a lot of THOUGHTS and i literally spent the entire day at work thinking about this concept lol

it all started a couple weeks ago when i was rewatching Gilmore Girls and got to AYITL, when Milo Ventimiglia shows up and is in full Jack Pearson mode because he was filming This Is Us at the same time.

(I've also been watching Tracker with Justin Hartley so i have This Is Us on the mind a lot lately, and btw if you haven't seen Tracker it's fucking fantastic)

ANYWAY the way this relates to Pepper/Rhodey is, during all of my This Is Us thoughts, i started thinking about Rebecca and Miguel. now, i know that everyone, fans and show characters alike, absolutely hated Miguel for "moving in on his best friend's girl" after Jack died but to be honest, i was never a Miguel hater. i always loved his character, i loved him and Rebecca together (even more so after the show explained how they came to be), and i thought it was beautiful how they found solace and comfort in each other even though both of them knew that Jack could never be replaced.

so, you see where this is going...

as much as i like to live in denial and refuse to acknowledge Tony's death in Endgame, i did start wondering how, in the horrific reality that is the canon universe, Pepper and all of the other iron fam members have coped with him being gone. something i'm sure a lot of other fics have explored in some fashion, but i haven't read a lot of them yet since i'm just now getting back into fic/fandom (and full transparency that i haven't watched a single second of MCU content since Far From Home, so i have no clue what Rhodey has been up to even though he's been in a few projects since Endgame)

y'all think Rhodey and Pepper might have ended up like Rebecca and Miguel? idk, i can see it.

i'm not sure i see them getting married, but i can definitely imagine them becoming closer than just friends as the years pass and finding that same kind of comfort in one another, maybe even falling in love. Pepper doesn't believe she'll ever find love again, definitely not the kind of love she felt for Tony, but the more she's around Rhodey, the more he helps her raise Morgan, the more they confide in one another... she realizes that she can love someone else, it's just different.

(i also have this headcanon that way back in the day, pre-Iron Man, Rhodey asked her out on a date once, they went and it was totally weird and Tony was a jealous bitch about it. they both acknowledge that they don't have any romantic feelings for each other at that time but i can see that changing after all they've been through)

anyway, idk, i'm sure a lot of people in the fandom might hate this idea for the same reason This Is Us fans hated Miguel, but i personally don't see either situation as a betrayal. i see it as broken and flawed people trying to do the best they can to move through their grief and rebuild some part of the life that they lost. i think it's very complicated, and quite frankly, what fic writer doesn't like complicated?

whatever, i wanna write it.

i might, we'll see. (or it'll end up in the draft graveyard like everything else)

editing to add: I’ve also been reading some pepper/rhodey/tony fics, which I’ve been enjoying very much, but even still they seem to be very tony-focused. As in very focused on tony/pepper and Tony/rhodey but the pepper/rhodey bits aren’t as prominent or almost seem like an afterthought? Maybe I just need to read some more of them to find the real pepper/rhodey vibes

[luna-jaden-shadow]

A Hair's Breadth From Death

Prompts - Gun to Temple | “Say goodbye.” | Impaled

Summary - Getting a second chance at saving the world is rare; nine times out of 10, you and the team usually get it first try. And yet here you are, as Strange said on Titan. In the Endgame.  Or  In which fighting Thanos for the second time didn’t go quite as well as you thought it would.

Angst / Fluff

Warning - Blood/Gore, Injury, Death!, Endgame Spoilers (you never know), Others (?)

Pairing - Tony Stark X Avenger!Reader

A/n - You take the place of Pepper family-wise.

-><-

-><-

There’s a moment of stillness as the dust settles on the battlefield. The mood was lifted in a way, everyone taking in their bask of victory as they watched Thanos’ army turn into that same dust that most of them had five years ago. You finally take a full breath, allowing your guard to drop as you smile back, pressed against a piece of debris. It was refreshing in a way, the first breath after the enemy was defeated. It was such a familiar feeling to you, given how many times you’ve been in battle. War was a common friend to you.

“You okay?” Your eyes dart to those of Steve Rogers, your friend and comrade. You were glad that he was okay, that he seemed to overcome the injuries from his first go at Thanos when he first showed up at the base. 

You nod, giving him a smile and thumbs up that has him smiling back at you. Your eyes drift from him to those around you, almost as if you’re taking a head count. You couldn’t have any casualties after Natasha; you weren’t sure if you could handle it. Then you recalled Tony, how he fought Thanos, and for the life of you, you couldn’t see his smug face. You were sure that he would be bragging, parading about how he killed Thanos. Yet you couldn’t seem to find him anywhere. 

“Have you seen Tony?” Steve follows your wondering gaze and frowns, both of you watching Rhodey land not too far away from them. Your heart sinks when you watch his helmet drawback, and he almost kneels down. “No.” You whisper, passing Steve with quick steps as you watch Peter land in front of Tony’s damaged figure. 

You slow to a halt in front of him, steadying Peter when he stumbles back into you. Tears build in your eyes as you stare down at your best friend, your partner in crime. You’re not even sure if he can see you with the way that he just blankly stares ahead like he’s looking straight through you. You raise your hand to cover your mouth, a sob getting muffled in the process. 

“Tony.” You kneel down in front of him, reaching out gently to take his hand in yours. It’s cold in your hand; it just breaks your heart more. “Hey.” Your voice cracks as you speak to him; you don’t know what to say to him. With the condition of his head, you’re not even sure if he can hear you fully, if at all. 

You’re almost shocked when he manages to speak; his voice barely raises above a whisper. “Hey, Y/n.” He doesn’t smile; your name doesn’t have the same bounce to it like when he normally says it.

“Tony, look at me.” His head lolls to the side a bit, eyes on yours, and your lip trembles at the sight. “Friday?” Your voice cracks as you question the AI despite the fact that you know there’s nothing you can do for him. 

“Vitals critical.” The AI calls back, and even she’s sad to see him like this. You just nod, closing your eyes for a moment before you’re back to looking at him.

“We’re okay,” You smile sadly at him, squeezing his hand. “You hear me? We’re gonna be okay.” You insist, raising your joined hands to rest over the reactor on his chest; the light flickers ever so slightly. “Hey,” He blinks at you, and you squeeze his hand again. “I love you so much. You did a good job, Tony. It’s okay. You can go if you have to.” Your heart churns with every word that leaves you. 

You watch as he weakly squeezes your hand back. Then you watch the light on his chest fade out. His hand falls from yours. He was gone, just like that. If there was anything at this moment that you were grateful for, it was that you got to say goodbye to him, that you got to tell him that you were going to be okay because of what he did.

[justaloserwhowrites]

Hopeful Part 3

A/N: This is part may be a little bit of a filler, but I'm working so hard to make a cohesive story that follows the plots of infinity war and endgame. I hope y'all enjoy!

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Avenger!Reader

Warnings: death, grief, disappearance (side note: these warnings are for the series as a whole)

You soon as you saw Steve and the others, you walked over, almost dropping your soup on the floor. You heard Rhodey cut off his hologram call with Ross. They go into the conference room with Rhodey, and Steve and Natasha hug Rhodey.They hadn't seen you standing in the corner of the hall.

"Long time no see," you say as you walk toward them with a smile on your face.

Natasha is the to look over at you. She is somewhat of an aunt to you. When you were younger, she taught you how to braid your hair, how to do makeup, and how to punch. She comes over to you and gives you a hug.

"Hey, kid. You don't have your braces anymore," she laughs.

"And you don't have your red hair anymore."

"Side effects of being a fugitive." She chuckles.

Vision groans in pain, cutting your reunion short. You walk over to the group. As you get closer, you see a huge gash on Vision.

"What happened to you guys? You look like hell." You say.

"I think you look great," you hear a voice say. Everyone turns to see Bruce come in from the back entrance to the room. "Yeah, I'm back." He says very calmly.

"Hi, Bruce." The newly blonde woman says with a kind smile.

"Nat." Like that the room is silent.

"Well, that was awkward. Should we give you the room to hook up- I mean catch up?" You joke in an attempt to cut the tension.

A few chuckles arise, and they both blush slightly. Everyone moves into the back room. Bruce debriefs everyone on Thanos and how he is after the stone in side of Vision. They start to discuss removing the stone.

"I'm saying if we take out the stone, there's a whole lot of Vision left. Perhaps the best parts." Bruce says with determination.

"Can we do that?" Natasha asks.

"Not me. Not here." Bruce answers.

"Well, you better find someone and somewhere, fast. Ross isn't just going to let you have your old rooms back." Rhodey states.

"I know somewhere." Steve says plainly. This begins a discussion about going to Wakanda amongst the group and yourself.

"You know this is still gonna be a fight." Nat states.

"Of course. But we will fight to protect Vision. To protect Earth." Steve responds.

"When will we leave?" You ask.

"(Y/N), you can't come. You're not ready." Rhodey commands.

" I wasn't asking. Rhodey, my dad and my boyfriend are in space. A big purple asshole is coming to destroy the world. You need any helping hand you can get." You shout.

"Kid, I agree with him. You shouldn't come. This isn't what Tony would want. You need to stay here where you're protected." Nat says as she tries to comfort you.

"I can't sit here and watch as you guys go and risk your lives. Not after dad and Peter left in a space donut going God knows where. I'm ready." You demand.

"Sweetie, I know Tony and Peter are missing, but I can't let you go," Pepper interrupts from behind you. You turn to look at her. "I can't possibly lose you, too."

The rage in your face settles. You couldn't leave her. She has acted as your mother since you were a small child.

"Fine," defeated, you sigh. "Just be sure to come back alive." You request Natasha and the others.

"Of course, kid," she hugs you one last time. "I'll see you soon." She brushes your face with the back of her hand before going to the Quinjet parked on the lawn.

Meanwhile in Space

An ugly gray alien holds Dr. Strange captive with levitating needles. Tony overlooks the scene strategizing how to release him when a cape taps on his armor, startling him.

"Wow. You're one loyal piece of outerwear. Aren't ya?" Tony nearly whispers.

"Yeah, uhh speaking of loyalty." Peter says and he drops down from his upside down hang.

"What the-"

"I know what you're gonna say." They bicker back and forth for a little bit.

"Don't tell me you thought this through. Pete, you were supposed to go home, go on your field trip, and make googly eyes at (Y/N). You are NOT supposed to be here."

"How am I supposed to be a friendly, neighborhood Spider-man with no neighborhood? I can't protect (Y/N) if we don't stop these guys." Peter anxiously lets out. "Besides, she has beaten my ass a couple of times."

"You let her beat you." Tony states.

"Yeah. Maybe. I love her, and if there's even a slight chance we can save her and the world by following this guy, I would do it. Which- which is why I'm here."

"Okay. We'll talk about the loving my daughter part later. What's your big plan to beat this, huh?"

"Okay. Umm- uhh- Have you seen this really old movie Aliens?"

[darkenedreaper]

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader, Avengers x Reader

Featuring: GoTG, Peggy Carter

Warnings: Angst, sad I suppose

Summary: 2 years after her death, your struggling even more. And it’s killing the team to keep their secret. (I changed Endgame because I can. Come at me. I might make it into chapters.)

Masterlist

‘It can’t be undone’ she said

*2 years ago*

You had gone through years with her. Years with the Avengers and the Guardians of the Galaxy. You had gone through love with her. You had gone through the 5 years with her. You had gone to Vormir with her. Yet you had won the final fight without her.

When you all came back from the time travel success you had to try and keep yourself from collapsing. You saw the others standing with smiles on their faces but all you saw was her. Her lips and eyes pleading you to let her go. Her body descending forever. And her sprawled out onto the floor, a pool of blood surrounding her head confirming Natasha Romanoff no longer wondered the earth.

“Are you telling me this actually worked?” Rhodey questioned, followed by Thor’s wheezy laugh. Their faces became confused when they heard a long bang. You have dropped down onto your knees, stone in hand and body wet from wherever you had been teleported to after she had sacrificed herself.

“Y/n where’s Nat?” The big green guy said. Your eyes were stuck in front of you. A sorrowful look on your face. You couldn’t even move. You couldn’t speak. You could’ve all been there for hours or seconds. But Steve lifted you up by your arms and tried to read your expression. With the help of Nebula you were taken to your bedroom you shared with Natasha. The both of them tried to gently take you to the bed but instead you walked shakily to the bathroom and shut the door. Of course Steve was upset. He had a lost a part of his family. He had shed tears while he walked with you. He could only imagine what the scene must’ve been for yourself. The unspoken news of his friends death was indescribable, but having to be there in an unimaginable situation would’ve been even harder. And he understood that. Nebula grieved, she barely knew the woman. But she grieved. She saw the distraught and pain on your face and in your eyes. She placed her hand on Steve’s shoulder and took him out of your room.

In the bathroom you had caged yourself into. You had your hand gripped to the sink. Your eyes trained to the sink bowl. Your eyes drifted to the left for you where her makeup and hairbrush had been layed out this morning. You took a step back, nervously clasping your hands together. You tried to calm down before someone got hurt. You looked down at your hands and you were maintaining some level of sanity before you remembered that your hand had let her go. If anyone would walk past your bedroom door, they were bound to hear glass smashing and screams and words of anguish.

You didn’t speak to anyone. You completely shut yourself down. The only reason you spoke to someone was to communicate over the earpiece when you were fighting. There was a short debate over the coms as to who was going to steal the stones from Thanos. You nearly went into a fit of rage and upset before Carol ordered you to look into her eyes. Your excuse to use the stones was so you could be with her again. When Tony clicked his fingers the enemy became dust, and the world became a little more louder and a bit more lighter. The battlefield was filled with new and old faces. Tony’s snap had been so powerful he was able to bring back the people that mattered the most to those around him. Steve had Peggy in his tired arms. Clint had Laura and his children. Wanda had Vision. Quill had Gamora. Thor had his mother and brother back. Tony had Pepper. He was unharmed and Bruce’s arm had healed. Everyone had someone. You had someone. You had your whole family. But your special someone was Natasha. You had never felt so lost. Natasha would be holding you, you holding her. She would tuck your head into her shoulder while letting your arms envelope around her. But all you got were sad looks.

Some of the ‘newbies’ had questioned their closest. After a lot of loud whispering, there was silence. The battlefield was silent in memory of Natasha. The only noises were the hundreds of sniffles and sobs of those who had the news broken to them. The dying fires crackling. The next minute footsteps were approaching you. You had internally begged for it to be Natasha. But you looked up to see a short boy. His suit red and blue with a spider on it. His brown curly hair was tinted with grey. His teary eyes gave you the saddest smile before and steadily put his arms around your shoulders. You accepted the young boys embrace. You were thankful for it.

The news were around the place as quick as they could’ve been. Pictures were taken. Statements were took. The public had tried to surround the heroes but were pushed away by the helping police. It has been released to the enormous crowd that one of the most heroic heroes had died. The crowds became distraught. They sounded like how you felt inside. They tried to surround you and shout out their condolences but you kept walking. Where to? Who knows.

*2 years later/present time*

You spoke to no one. You spoke out in bursts of anger. Anger if someone tried to tell you to come away from your desk and to stop working and trying to find a way. Peggy, Steve’s wife, had became close to you. She understood how it felt to lose a loved one. She understood she wasn’t Natasha. She understood why you were working yourself so hard. She would never judge you, if you looked all disheveled or smelt from not taking a shower. She encouraged you to do your best, but she never pushed you. 2 years ago, you found a solution to stop Thanos. 2 years ago you lost her. 2 years ago Steve returned the stones. You haven’t been able to go through any videos or voice messages of her. Just a photo that you have framed. There were and still are memorials for her, but you would never attend any.

You had only cried to yourself. But right now you were on the edge of having a definite breakdown. Tony and the whole team of Avengers, Wakanda, GotG and Carol had wanted to check in as you had been back to Vormir. Which you greatly regret. Scott had made an extra time travel refill for you. All you were told by red skull was a ‘soul for a soul’. You argued with a ghost. You lashed out a ghost. You didn’t dare look to the edge. Knowing you would either throw yourself of or cry so much you wouldn’t be able to move.

They all met you at the Compound. At the platform that sat on top on the lake.

Steve and Peggy. Tony and Pepper. Rhodes. Bucky and Sam. Clint and Laura. Thor and Loki. Bruce. The Guardians were there. Rocket was by your side. Peter was there with Happy. Carol was at the edge of the platform. Wanda and Vision. And the rest were all there. You had your back turned to them. You were silent trying to understand why they all had such guilty faces, except Thor. They all had a secret. One they had agreed to not tell you, for fear it may completely break you. But they decided enough was enough. They had to tell you.

“Look we need to get her back to stop this shit with the Avengers get it together.” Thor spat at Steve, as he still saw him as the Captain.

“Can’t get her back.” You spoke up, causing everyone’s attention on the two of you.

“Wh..wha..what are you..?” Thor mumbled out.

“It can’t be undone. It can’t.” You said quietly looking at him from over your shoulder.

He laughed at your words before saying, “Look.. I, I’m sorry but your a very earthly being okay, we’re talking about space magic and can’t seems very definitive. Don’t you think?”

“Yeah look I know that I’m way outside my.. my paid rate here. But she still isn’t here is she?” You said. Tony took of his sunglasses, getting upset.

“Yeah well that’s my point.” Thor said in a hushed manner.

“It can’t.. be undone.” Your voice cracking, your tears had crawled their way down your face now. “Or that’s at least what the red floating guy had to say. Maybe you wanna go talk to him. Ok, go grab your hammer and you go find him you talk to him!” You yelled at him. He looked down to the floor. You shouldn’t be angry with him. He missed Natasha. But you couldn’t help it.

“It was supposed to be me.” You admitted with a breaking voice. Bucky let a tear fall freely from his eye. “She sacrificed her life for that goddamn stone, she bet her life on it.” You started to breakdown in the middle of everyone. Angry at how she could’ve died for nothing. How it wasn’t supposed to be like this. Even Wanda began to breakdown. She felt your pain from far away. Your longing. And your grieving. Rockets fur was wet as he was upset just like everyone else.

He couldn’t take it anymore. The lies. Not the acting. But the lies. Clint stood up and said, “Y/n we’ve been lying to you. Natasha is here. She’s perfectly fine. She’s alive. You just can’t see her.” No one else bothered to look up as he said what was needed to be said. You slowly turned around to him. “What?” Was all you could choke out. Steve stood up and walked towards you before keeping a distance. “When I returned the stone. He told me that we could all get her back, after all it was a soul for a soul. But the one who travelled there has been cursed. You can’t see or hear her and I don’t know if you ever will. But she’s alive.”

You took time to observe his words.

She was standing in front of you. Her arms crossed but her eyes were stuck on your face that was wet from the tears you had cried. Your eyes brows moving in a sorrowful way. She wasn’t crying for herself no. She cried for you. For your pain. She had never seen you so upset. And because she had been with you ever since she got back, she’s had to watch you cry almost every day.

Natasha wishes you could see her. She has been next to you this whole time. She was gone a few hours and then she was back. She couldn’t find you and instead ran into Sam who held her tightly. Instead she sped off to Tony’s cabin where she found Bucky and Steve, who explained everything.

She wishes you could hear how proud she is of you. She wishes you didn’t have to see you break yourself and live in your mental anguish. It hurt her. Every night you fell asleep at your desk, she would drape a blanket over you, and almost cry at your confused state in the morning of who had been to your office and covered you.

She wishes you hadn’t been traumatised by her silly yet heroic actions. She wishes she could tell you how much she loves you and how she wants to be held by you and she wants you to be able to hear her words, “I love you.” The others heard it. But they didn’t dare tell you.

She was determined to get her words to you. If not by speaking to you then by page. Determined to prove that she was with you all of this time. She wants to tell you how much she loves you.

She wishes there was a way.

If you would like a part 2, let me know.

[vendettaparker]

Talking to the Moon [P.P]

Summary: When Peter’s identity is leaked, he is forced to leave you and his old life behind, shattering your heart in the process. 

Pairing: Peter Parker x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: ANGST, like straight up rip your heart out. Far From Home spoiler (kinda), Endgame spoiler (kinda)

a/n: so if you couldn’t tell this is based off of the song ‘Talking to the Moon’ by Bruno Mars. its a loose interpretation. i’ve been planning an angsty fic like this for a while. angst is my favorite genre of fic, especially when it has a hopeful or fluffy ending. so this one DOES have a hopeful ending and potential for a sequel,, so yuh, enjoy! <3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

     Three years, two months, and 14 days. That’s how long it had been since Peter’s identity was leaked. That’s how long it had been since he left you. For good. 

     Peter had been frantic after that news broadcast aired. He webbed back to the compound immediately, crying the whole way. He was scared for himself, sure, but the fear he felt in the pit of his stomach for May, Ned, MJ, you. That was the reason for his tears now. He could hardly breathe by the time he made it to the compound. Happy, Rhodey, Sam, and Bucky meeting him as he burst through the large floor to wall windows in the main room. The frantic yelling, pleas, and cries coming from the main room were what alerted you to his presence. When you walked in he was a mess. Crying, heaving with anxiety about how scared he was. Peter had always been a sensitive, emotional boy, but he always got over his shit eventually. But this? This, seemed like the end for him. 

     You ran up to him, shushing him and holding him. Trying to tell him to simply “breathe”. All he could say, over and over again like a mantra was a schloo of “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you. I’m so sorry.” Your heart broke. How could fate be so cruel to the sweetest boy? The one who was the most deserving of all the happiness life could possibly offer. The rest of the team had shown up within the next hour. Happy, Nick Fury, Maria Hill, and Pepper also present. Peter had calmed down slightly, but he knew, he just knew, this was the day he had to say goodbye. He had had this talk with Mr. Stark back when he had stopped his first villain, Vulture. Tony knew the type of sick monsters out there who would love to get their hands on the boy behind the Spider-man mask. He and Peter had developed a plan in the tragic case that Peter’s identity should be released, at least, not on his own terms. Tony’s plan was for Peter to run away. Leave. Take nothing with him but the clothes on his back, and even then burn those clothes the minute he could. Tony knew. He knew these dangers. And worse, he knew the consequences. 

     May had come to the compound the second she got the call. She knew as well. Peter knew. She knew. Tony, even in his grave, knew. Everyone knew. Everyone but you. 

     Peter had a getaway car and a destination ready within another hour. He wouldn’t disclose it to anyone. He took you aside, gently stroking your cheek to wipe the hot tears that never seemed to cease. “Hey, hey, (Y/N). I’m so sorry.” He whispered, choking up on every other word, trying to be stronger, just a little stronger, for you. “I have to go now. I’m so so sorry. I love you so much.”

     “It’s okay Peter,” You sniffled, pushing his bangs back and giving him a sad smile. “I’ll miss you, but I’ll be here when you get back. Don’t worry.” 

     Peter’s lips quivered and he heaved another sob. “No, (Y/N). I-I’m not coming back.” You took your hand back as you felt the pressure of tears building behind your eyes. 

     “W-what? No, this—it’s just temporary. Until we can—Fury and Pepper—We can fix this.” You stuttered anxiously, hoping your words would convince him that this was okay. That everything would be okay. 

     “We can’t, (Y/N). It’s done.” Peter spoke, his voice hardly making it to a whisper. 

     “No!” You wrapped your arms around his neck, trying to hold him closer. “Please. Please. Please. I-I can’t! You can’t! I—You’re all I have!” You were sobbing uncontrollably now. The weight of the situation finally caving in and crushing your heart and soul. “Please! I’ll do anything, I’ll protect you! Please!” 

     Your meltdown didn’t help Peter one bit, if anything, seeing how desperate you were to keep hold of him, to just love him; that broke him more. “I’m sorry, please forgive me. Please.”

     “How can I? You’re killing me.” You whimpered into his chest, tears soaking through his black sweatshirt. “I can’t— I just— I can’t!”

     The whole team heard. No walls were thick enough to block out the heartbroken sobs from the two teenagers in love. Fury was the one to finally bring an end to it. Nobody else having the heart to pry you from each other. Even Fury felt his own stoic exterior cracking. 

     You were in hysterics, clawing, and grabbing at Peter’s sweatshirt, hair, face, anything you could grab. It didn’t matter if you hurt him at this point, he’d heal. But if he left you, you knew you’d never recover. Fury had put you in a chokehold while yanking you back. Peter just heaved and heaved, his sobs getting louder and his chest getting tighter. May rushed over to him and took his hand, placing his head in her chest. 

     Fury yanked you back more, but you still refused to quit. Fury released his chokehold, not wanting to do any real damage to you. Right as you were released, Wanda came up behind you and placed her hands on your head, red magic already starting to swirl. 

     “No, please.” You wheezed, trying to get a fresh breath of air. “He’s all I have.”

     Wanda looked at you, tears glistening in her eyes. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). I’m so sorry.”

     Without so much as a flick of her wrist, you were out, descending into darkness. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

     Peter left after that. The car taking him away, and you hadn’t seen him since. As the months went on you never really recovered. Never really felt whole again. You just survived. That was all. You went through the motions of everyday life, but never truly felt like you were living. Two weeks after Peter left, May left with Happy. They moved to California, living there ever since as well. They got married last year. You were all invited and everyone went. Everyone but you. You missed May and Happy, but it still hurt. Plus, you were busy anyway. After you graduated high school, you flung yourself into the avenger lifestyle, fully immersing yourself in it. You went on every mission possible. Did all the paperwork you could. You did anything and everything you could to keep yourself busy. Stop yourself from feeling the pain that had stopped feeling like a searing stab and had now turned into a dull ache. A new constant in your life. 

     Nights were the worst though. The only time you couldn’t be constantly avenging or working yourself to the bone on new suit technology. The only time you had to think and feel. The only thing keeping you going was the hope that Peter was still out there. Somewhere, anywhere, missing you as much as you were missing him. Watching the same moon you watched. Basking in the same sun that shined on you every day. Every horrible, miserable day. 

     “(Y/N)?” the quiet, soft voice of Pepper breaking you out of your headspace. You hummed a response and looked up at her, waiting for her to continue. “Did you hear what I said?”

     “No, sorry.” You responded sheepishly. Pepper’s gaze softened. She took in your lean figure and pale face, eyes seeming to be sunken in from the dark circles. “I was just finishing up this briefing of my last mission.” 

     “You went alone?” Pepper asked, concern washing over her features.

     “It was a simple one. Just took out a mob, was done in like, four hours.” 

      Pepper sighed. “(Y/N)—”

     “Pep, it’s fine. It was so easy, anyone could have done it.” You cut her off, turning back to your laptop, typing away. 

     “It’s not just that though. It’s all of this. This whole funk you’re in. The same one you’ve been in for years, (Y/N).” Pepper waved her hands around to emphasize her point. “We all see it. You can’t keep doing this to yourself. He wouldn’t want this.” 

     Your whole demeanor changed. The solemn, yet calm veneer breaking. “It doesn’t matter what he wants, Pepper! I didn’t want this. All I wanted was him. For the rest of my life. Nothing else would matter, as long as I had him to get me through it. But I don’t have him. I have nothing. He was it for me. He—” You sobbed, tears finally running down your face in an uncontrollable waterfall. “I feel like I died. Like I am just a spectator, no longer doing anything of interest to myself.” 

     Pepper pulled you into her so fast. She was always quick to console you. The months after Peter left she was the only one you could stomach seeing. “It’s okay. I know, shh, I know.” Pepper was tearing up now too. She knew you never got over it. But now seeing with her own eyes how broken you’d really become. The reality hurt. “He’s out there, okay? And it’s going to be okay. He’s okay. We’re okay.” 

     You just cried. That’s all you could do. The more you tried to talk about it the stronger the urge to cry was. Pepper just hummed and held you. Stroking your hair until you fell asleep. 

     When you woke up you were in your room. It was dark and the moon was shining through the opened window. You just stared at it, closing your eyes and imagining Peter was staring at it too. The same one. Thinking about you, just like you were thinking about him. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

     Another few weeks went by. The same routine, the same empty feeling consistent in your body. Nothing changed. The revelation that you were, in fact, not okay didn’t fix anything. It still hurt. You were still broken.

     You were in the training room, sparring with Wanda when the melodic tune of your ringtone rang through the gym, echoing off the walls. You put your hands up in defense to stop Wanda from continuing the match. Wanda whipped her hands around and brought your phone to you in a wisp of red magic. 

     “Thanks.” You mumbled, wiping your sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand and taking the phone from the air. Wanda nodded and jumped out of the ring to grab her water bottle. 

     You looked at your phone still ringing, seeing an unfamiliar number, but taking in the location: Budapest, Hungary. You answered the call bringing the phone up to your ear “Hello?” You asked, shifting from one foot to the other waiting for a reply. A beat of silence pasted before you heard a tired, yet all too familiar voice on the other end. 

     “(Y/N)?”

[themculibrary]

Hi! Same horrible human from the last irondad ask you did say let you know I want more I really do I’ve literally read all of those but two 😂 I was wondering if you could find some more if it’s not any trouble?

5 Times Peter Sleepwalked And The 1 Time He Pretended He Did by losingmymindtonight

Summary: Peter sleepwalks, Tony stresses.

Academic Commitment (ao3) - underoosstark

Summary: Peter had faced death countless times. He’d joined Mr. Stark in fighting the Rogue Avengers, fought Toomes and his gang, and stopped countless robberies and muggings. He was used to feeling fear - it came with the job description.

But that fear came nowhere close to the pure terror he felt at the prospect of having a meet and greet session with actual-freaking-Captain-America.

(Set post-Spider-man Homecoming, but pre-Infinity War because who needs to worry about that stuff, lmao. It’s in a perfect world where the Accords were eventually agreed upon, and the Avengers are back together. Because yay, happy endings!)

A Tremendous Thing (ao3) - ExpectoPatronum

Summary: Peter spends Father's Day at the lake house. He tries not to overthink it.

just know you're not alone by samandbucky

Summary: Tony was settling into his new life being an Avenger. Everything was going fine, great even, and then suddenly a kid was thrown into the picture. Peter Parker becomes Tony’s world, and he’s doing everything he can to keep his son out of the spotlight. Unfortunately, some things don’t always go to plan. But would it really be such a bad thing if his fellow Avengers found out about his son?

research and disaster (ao3) - blueh

Summary: There should have been nothing remarkable about two people in a busy cafeteria, but Becket takes in the familiar sight of curly hair, brown eyes, and a t-shirt with a science pun on it talking animatedly alongside Actual Anthony Edward Stark and promptly drops his lunch.

He gapes for a solid second, seeing but not believing. It definitely doesn’t look like Mr. Stark is forcing the kid to leave, or firing him, or escorting him to security given the relaxed smiles on both of their faces. If anything, Becket thinks Mr. Stark looks rather proud.

“So, uh, Mr. Stark definitely knows Roomba-Kid,” Becket says and discreetly tilts his head in the direction of the pair.

“Oh my god,” Jess says. She almost sounds gleeful. “Oh my god, he’s not just some random kid. He’s Mr. Stark’s kid.”

or: the interns at Stark Industries have some questions about Peter Parker. The answers aren’t quite what they expect.

The Short List (ao3) - LogLady (OodLaLa)

Summary: “Kid, you know that I have a very short list of people who I would move heaven and Earth for.” With his flesh hand, he began to tick off names. “Pepper. Morgan. Rhodey. Happy...and you. You made the cut, Pete. And honestly? I don’t know what else I have to do to prove to you that you made the list." Iron Man is retired but Tony Stark will never stop playing superhero for his kids. Or Peter Parker has a high school diploma and not a lick of common sense. Set three years post- Endgame. Featuring retired Tony and walking disaster Peter Parker.

- Tori

[captainsimagines]

To Topple A Giant || Chapter Four

Summary: You had made it your mission to destroy even the smallest evils. When the opportunity arises to finally take down your own family after years of gaining their trust, you reach for it. And so does Steve, the man who represents a symbol of everything you hate.

Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader || Avengers x Reader

Part 4 of 10 ~ Mini-Series

Warnings: This story contains mature themes and discussions such as extreme canon violence, strong language, emotional angst, mentions of Endgame deaths and recoveries, sexual situations, and emotional/physical abuse. All trigger warnings will be listed before the chapter. This is purely fanfiction.

Warnings in this Chapter: reference to past sexual assault (very minimal); misogyny/sexism; mention of Infinity War deaths/Endgame deaths; abusive parental relationship; canon violence; heavy drinking; reference to cocaine use

Word Count: 13,900+

~

Tony’s Cabin, 2023, 8:56pm

      “Uh…”

You and Steve stared at the little girl in front of you, bouncing up and down with excitement as she held up one of Tony’s repulsors, the safety on but pointed right at the two of you. Steve instinctively pushed you behind him, the obvious fact being that a blast would most certainly kill you and not the super soldier himself. You were having difficulty holding in your laughter, watching as the girl kept poking at the metal, awaiting its true power. 

“Can I have that, Morgan?” Steve asked, his voice raising ever so slightly to try and seem nicer to the kid. 

“Talk to her with your regular voice, Steve. She’s five, not a toddler.”

“Yeah!”

Now you laughed at Morgan’s declaration of approval, still standing behind Steve with your hands braced on his back. 

Steve sighed and rolled his eyes playfully, “Alright, Morgan. Can I please have that back? It’s not a toy.”

“But daddy left it for me!”

You smiled at her, “Yeah, but he didn’t expect you to use it so early! Wait until you’re like… ten, then you can look through his things!”

“Y/N, ten?” Steve gave you a bewildered grin, eyes bright and laughter restrained. 

“Okay, twelve.”

His shoulders sagged with a heavy laugh. He reached over and took the chance, grabbing Morgan’s wrist softly and ejecting the glove from her small hand. 

“There we go!” you cheered, stepping out from behind Steve and scooping her up in your arms. Morgan started laughing loudly, kicking her legs to try and escape your hold. “Ah, don’t kick me!”

You had offered your time to Pepper whenever she needed it. You didn’t expect that she would call so early asking for a huge favor, her husband’s funeral not even four months ago. But you didn’t hesitate and packed an overnight bag, reassuring her that nothing would explode on your watch. On your way out of the temporary safe house, Steve had caught you just in time. A quick question of your future whereabouts and he was joining you, a tiny twinge of guilt in his chest from not seeing Tony’s daughter in so long. He was one of her godparents after all, just after Happy and Rhodey, beating out the third crowned position from Bruce. 

He had been hurt by that initially, asking why he wasn’t even considered. 

‘Bruce, the first time she comes into your room and stands over your sleeping body to let you know she had a nightmare, you’d scream.’

‘I wouldn’t be angry, just scared!’

‘Okay, after Cap here, you get custody.’

‘Oh, yay. Drafted fourth.’

Steve was happy to go see her on such short notice though, racing back up to his room to gather some overnight supplies as well. But you didn’t think anything of it - it was just a godparent wanting to see his godchild. 

“Ouch, that hurt,” you laughed and placed Morgan down in her bed. “Nighty night time.”

“Daddy said he left things for everyone, not just me.”

Steve’s eyebrows shot up with curiosity, a sudden interest to know what his gift was exciting him. He had already given him the shield back... but then Thanos broke it. Maybe, another shield? No, T’Challa had already offered to send him a new one.

“Ooo, that’s interesting! I wonder if he got me that pretty bracelet I saw in that department store window that one time,” you gushed, pulling the blankets over Morgan. You fluffed out her hair, smiled at her, and told her goodnight. 

“Night night!”

Both you and Steve called out from the doorway of her bedroom, “Night night!”

Several minutes had passed before you brought up the prospect of secret gifts again, knowing Steve was just as interested as you were. 

“Want to go find them?”

Steve immediately stood up, clapping his hands together and giddy with excitement. “I won’t tell if you don’t!”

“Deal.”

You searched everywhere - living room, the garage, kitchen cabinets - even racing into the master bedroom, stealthy and secret, shame rising as you carefully picked up items around the room. “This feels like an invasion of privacy.”

Steve chuckled from outside the door, “Hurry up!”

But you found nothing. There was only one more spot to look - his office. You almost didn’t want to intrude any longer, this being his most sacred space, but the mere chance of Tony giving you a gift from the afterlife made you extremely happy. So you and Steve searched, stacking and restacking random papers and pushing away gadgets and books in the bookshelf. Finally, a small opening in the third shelf alerted you of your mission success. 

“Oh, fuck yeah,” you cheered, reaching in and pulling boxes and clipped pieces of paper, all different colors and sizes, from the compartment. They were labeled with various names - Rhodey, Pepper, Happy, Clint, Thor, Steve, Nebula, you - and Natasha. 

Steve sucked in his breath, his gasp similar to yours. “He got these before…”

“Yeah,” you nodded, handing Steve his labeled box. It was light blue, a white ribbon delicately wrapped around it, and with a cute little red ribbon with Steve’s name on it. It wasn’t big, but it was more than enough. 

“Open it,” you said. 

Steve shook his head, “Let’s open ours together.”

You agreed to his terms, taking your folder into your hands. It was one of those same art folders you had when you bought some new planners or notebooks. It was black, custom-made it seemed, as it had your name on the front in gold, cursive writing. 

On the count of three, you both opened your presents. 

Steve pulled out two sets of dog tags from the box, the sound of them clinking together reminding him of the times he would hug his fellow soldiers on the battlefield, cheers of victory mixed in with the smell of sweat and dry blood. He read the names on the metal. 

‘Steven G. Rogers

987654320 T42 O

Brooklyn, NY. P.’

‘James B. Barnes. 

32557038 T41 42 O

R. Barnes

Shelbyville, IN. P.’

He had not known they recovered his dog tags, faintly remembering clutching them tightly as he flew the plane into the ice. But SHIELD must have kept them for the museum, and Tony had recovered them. Bucky’s, however, were lost as soon as Bucky fell from that train. They were more rusted than Steve’s, almost as if HYDRA kept them underwater or stored for the majority of Bucky’s sentence. But no matter how Tony had gotten them, he was eternally grateful. 

“Wow,” Steve said, clearing his throat. But you were too caught up in your reading. 

      ‘Target whereabouts discovered mid-May of 2017. Only T. Stark and N. Romanoff approved for mission.

      Transport at 20:00 hours. Target(s) confirmed and exterminated at exactly 0802 Pacific Standard Time.’

You choked on the sob that suddenly broke through, hand instantly reaching up to cup your mouth. Steve put his tags back into the box, shushing you to get you to calm down. “What is it? What’d he get you?”

Four pictures accompanied the short report, each face crossed out with red paint. A tiny laugh escaped and tears of joy started to flow. To say Steve was confused was an understatement. 

“He… he got me justice.”

Steve took the file from you, reading over every word to somehow understand what you meant by justice. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration and he looked up at you for more explanation.

You brushed your hair back and rubbed at your cheeks, the smile on your face now straining. Whether it was a sudden change of mind or the closure of your trauma was just that satisfying, you told Steve exactly what Tony and Natasha had done for you. 

“After I joined you guys in New York, Fury sent me on a mission to infiltrate and bring back information about this dude my father was trying to literally destroy. But I had to play both sides  - the good and the bad.”

Steve set the file down, his full attention on you.

“I got the information but for some reason, it wasn’t enough for my father. I had forgotten to get the most vital piece, something he thought I would automatically know,” you scoffed, your smile faltering at the next part of the story. 

“I cost him ten million. And to teach me a lesson, he let these men do whatever they wanted to me. Anything.”

Steve’s breath hitched as he understood what you meant. And it was no longer a mystery why you had been planning to kill him ‘again’ after everyone came back from the snap.

“I returned to the compound in such bad shape. I only told Natasha. She cleaned me up, she took me to med-bay in the middle of the night, she brought me breakfast in bed,” you chuckled at the memory, hand reaching out to hold Steve’s. 

“And Tony’s gift was murdering the men that hurt me.”

Steve let a few tears slip himself, his hand gripping yours tighter. “Y/N, if I would have known-”

“Hey, it’s okay. You didn’t know, though. I thought only Natasha knew. She promised me she would take care of it. I just didn’t think she would actually find them.”

“I think we know that Natasha could find literally anything and anyone,” Steve said. 

You agreed with his statement, a smile returning to your face. 

You jumped from your sitting position and went back to retrieve Natasha’s gift. “Hey, should we?”

Steve eyed the small, black box in your hand. He sighed as he walked over to you, eyes returning to the box. 

“It was meant for her.”

You frowned, “Yeah, and I’ll ask Pepper if we can give these to everyone else.”

You paused and shook the box near your ear. It felt heavy in your hand, and the contents gave a little jingle. 

“But this one was for Nat. I think she’d want us to at least see it.”

Steve chuckled and just nodded, awaiting the reveal. You pulled the ribbon and opened the box, surprised that Tony had given her a piece of jewelry. “Oh.”

Steve took the bracelet from the box, oblivious that the movement would unlock the charms from their heavy chests. In a matter of seconds, charms of similar size but different designs dropped to encircle the silver band. You inspected them in Steve’s hand - a red/white/and blue shield, Mjollnir, a pair of wings, two arc reactors, a singular arrow, a silver arm, a spider, an emerald heart, the letters ‘W’ and ‘V’ intertwined, a black cat, an ant - and your symbol, an intricately carved silver charm no bigger than your thumbnail, of your face. Tony knew no specific object or symbol was tied with your Avengers status, no one had ever given you one, but this was perfect. 

“Wow,” Steve whispered, examining each charm closely with a lazy smile on his face. 

“We were her family. This was an ode to that.”

“What do we do with it?” Steve asked.

You just shrugged, “Frame it? It would feel wrong just taking it for myself.”

Steve agreed. Later that night when Pepper returned home, you showed her what Morgan led you to. She let you keep your gifts and take the others, absolutely loving the idea of framing Natasha’s bracelet in the new compound being built. 

Present Day, 2025, 8:10 am

     The bright light from the open windows hadn’t hit you as suddenly as the random throw pillow that connected to your face, startling you with a quick gasp and causing you to choke on your spit. You snapped up, belly down and hair wild, eyes still half-lidded as you searched for the aggravator. And he stood there with a stupid grin on his face, already dressed in his stupid old man clothes, and stupid blond hair perfectly pushed back. 

“What the fuck was that for?” you tried to yell, voice cracking at the end and just the slightest hint of drool threatening to spill from the corner of your mouth. 

“I ordered room service. Plus, we have to leave in an hour.”

You grabbed as many pillows as your one free hand could hold, the other still tucked into the pillowcase below your head. You flung them wildly, none actually hitting the super soldier directly. His chuckle pulled a deep groan from you, and no longer wanting to look like a fool, you stumbled out of bed and pushed passed him roughly. 

“You could have woken me up the same time you got up.”

“But you looked so peaceful.”

His sarcasm was not helping your souring mood. Steve headed over to the monitors to turn them on, already setting up the morning video chat with Bucky and Sam. “Do you always sleep like a mounted spider?”

You flicked him off, “Leave me alone so I can take my morning piss in peace!”

You slammed the door and made your way to the toilet. Now, you were no morning person. But it was simple enough for you to crawl out of bed with only minimal protest when your awakening was a peaceful one. Having a pillow thrown at your head while mid-dream was practically excruciating and no one, not even the grandest morning person in the world, could possibly awake happy from that. And to top it all off, you couldn’t even remember what you were dreaming of. Just another thing to blame Steve for. 

After you had done your morning routine and slipped into a really comfy outfit, the breakfast finally arrived. You muttered a quiet thanks to Steve for ordering your favorites and damn him for knowing you preferred waffles over pancakes and a variety of creamers to choose from, and quickly filled Bucky and Sam in on what the plan for the day was. 

You had been on missions with Steve before, but no matter how many times you regrouped in the mornings, you had never actually seen him wake up. After your rude awakening, you wondered at what point during sunrise he opened his eyes - ‘cause you’ll be standing over him with a pillow of your own. 

“Torres has the air footage scheduled for around five today, then he’ll link you to the camera for the remainder of the mission,” Sam clarified. 

“Is it possible to link earlier?” Steve asked. 

“Not unless you can get the Wi-Fi password of the estate.”

You chuckled, still funneling mouthfuls of waffle into your mouth. “So, we can hack the Pentagon whenever we feel like it, but we can’t hack into my father’s estate without the Wi-Fi password?”

Sam cleared his throat, “You are so lucky this is a secure line.”

“Wait until she finishes her breakfast and her head will be screwed back on straight,” Steve joked, taking a long sip from his tea. 

Almost immediately, your phone dinged with a new message. You angled your phone away from Steve but your smirk was enough to alert him of a side conversation happening under his nose. 

Bucky: Ouch, I wouldn’t mind if you hit him upside the head.

Y/N: he threw a pillow at me to wake me up :(

Bucky: hit him

Y/N: bet

“Stop talking about me over the phone.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Steve grumbled, the rough sound catching Sam’s attention as well. His eyes flashed back and forth between the two of you - Steve desperately trying to catch a quick glance at your messages, and you leaning away from him with thumbs moving at a rapid pace. 

“Y/N, how you feeling?”

You put your phone down and pretended to not notice how Steve was trying to get a glimpse of your screen. 

“A little queasy, in all honesty.”

A myriad of emotions were present and coiling in your body, each trying to sprout and bloom and gain their five seconds of fame. And for the past several years, it was easy to downplay their true power. Because the power they held wasn’t one of distressing strength, but rather one that tip-toed to the front of your anxiety driven worries. It planted itself there, up front, but ever so silent. For it to finally meet its match, to possibly be freed of such a coil - well, you were more worried about not succeeding in its erasure than its final blooming. 

“We’ve come up with a system to make sure we both don’t go overboard or to tell the other that we’re alright,” Steve said, eyes on the monitor but hands loading bullets into your trusty handguns. 

“Alright, that’s good,” Bucky spoke, finally. He typed away on his keyboard, “Give us a word we all use in case we need back-up immediately.”

“Mm, you should ask Steve. He loves his safe words.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “Something Avengers related? Or something no one would ever say?”

“Pick anything you want, just don’t let it be awkward to repeat out loud,” Sam joked. 

Steve pondered for a few seconds before he settled on his chosen word, a hint of a smile forming. “Widow.”

You nodded, “That’s sweet. She’d like us using her alias for a dirty little safe word.”

You huffed suddenly, shoulder colliding with the carpet, the realization that Steve pushed you from your chair causing you to stare at him with your mouth hanging open. “Hey!”

“Steve, every single day I accept your fate from her murderous hands,” Bucky grumbled, Sam’s loud laugh causing the speaker to give a quick halt of static. 

“She’s okay- hey!”

You flew across your chair and onto him, lunging your body as your main weapon in taking him down. You both tumbled to the floor, the sofa chair you collided with scraping along and pushing the coffee table with it. A lamp shattered on the floor right when you wrapped your arm around Steve’s neck and hooked your legs from underneath him and around his waist, his back to your front, both his arms coming up to tug yours out of reflex. 

“Yield, you little shit,” you grunted, the grip of your arm remaining loose on purpose but your legs tight, heels now digging into his slim waist. 

Steve groaned, both from your pointy heels and the sudden impact his body made with the ground. “I’m letting you win.”

“You seriously got a mouth on you.”

You let him go anyway, choosing to save your strength for the mission and not waste it on a petty little fight. Besides, you could always smother him with a pillow in his sleep. 

“You two done?”

Both you and Steve stumbled getting up, faces back in your teammate’s view as you smoothed down your clothing and wiped at your foreheads.

“Now that that’s over,” Sam continued, clearing his throat. “The only task for today is to get a feel of the place, establish a legit backstory providing you some leverage, and to swipe those ID’s.”

“Got it,” you acknowledged, standing again to begin hooking your weapons in discreet locations in your clothing. 

“And we’re not responsible for that broken lamp so it’s coming out of your paycheck.”

     California really wasn’t like any other state. There was a vast difference from Northern and Southern, the difference being the amount of green fields visible. In Southern California, the mountains and desert areas took up most of the landscape, with an industrial complex here, a growing city there, and then nothing for a good ten miles. Since most of the landscape was below sea level, the atmosphere was almost always dry, modest dust storms forming only to quickly pass a freeway and disintegrate once it found the other side. It was more urban, more lively with people. But Northern California, even if it experienced the same weather patterns as the south, was mostly humid during the winter season. The mountains here were covered in lively agriculture, livestock roamed freely in the gated areas near the freeways, and the overall environment provided a rural look. 

 And the differences just stood out to you, your excitement for the livestock starting to annoy Steve as you kept pointing out every cow you drove past. He threatened to stop the car and dare you to tip one. 

“So, how did we meet?”

Steve chuckled, “We’re coworkers, Y/N. Thought that question was obvious.”

You whined, “Steve, we have to put some drama into it! How about we say we met during one of Tony’s parties after Fury assigned you to this?” 

“And what? I asked you to dance?”

You leaned over your seat and poked his arm, teasing him. “Would you have asked me to dance?”

Steve shrugged, “I mean, sure.” 

He glanced at you and then back to the road. “Can’t we just be honest? I like the way we met.”

 You pouted, “The way we met is a matter of national security.”

   “You brought that thing back to an unguarded planet?” Loki seethed, his voice still a whisper as he followed Thor through the hallways of Avengers Tower. A tower he had been prisoner of for a few weeks now, but would soon be released from once Thor decided to return home. Besides, it had been more than a year since his unfortunate attack and after thousands of apologies, brainwashing excuses (which were true!), and quite a few long labor hours equivalent to Midgardian community service, his leash was extended somewhat. 

“How am I the more level-headed one right now?”

Thor grumbled in response, now on his hands and knees as he searched for the tiny animal that had already eaten its way through the plush of the interior walls. “It couldn’t have gotten far. And how was I supposed to know the oxygen levels here would cause it to go crazy?”

“You couldn’t. In fact, I don’t know why it’s here in the first place!”

“Keep screaming, Loki. I bet that would make it come to us quicker!”

Loki was about to come up with another quick quip, but was interrupted by a quiet mumble down the hall. 

“Oh?”

You rocked back and forth on your heels as you stared at the two brothers - one sweeping the floor on all fours and the other ducked down to scream into his brother’s ear. “Whatcha looking for?”

“Now, don’t be alarmed, Agent. But I may have misplaced my dog.”

“Dog?” Loki tilted his head, hands now cupping the side of his head in disbelief. 

Your eyebrows shot up from his reaction, “Not dog?”

“It’s… an animal from Asgard.”

“Okay, what does it look like?” you asked, now more interested than ever. 

Thor cleared his throat and rose to his feet slowly, “Like a dragon.”

You stepped back, almost tripping over your left foot. An involuntary laugh escaped from your lips and you brought a hand up to try and stifle it. “You brought a dragon into the tower?”

“He brought a dragon back to Midgard,” Loki clarified as he walked over to the wall and pressed his ear against it. 

“Oh, yeah. That’s much worse,” you agreed. “Fury’s gonna shove his foot so far up your ass-”

“Yes, yes. I know what awaits me. Now, help us find it!” Thor begged. 

This wasn’t how you expected to spend your first day as an Avenger. After all the training and promoting, the paperwork and oaths, you thought you would have a pretty chill afternoon. Arrive at the conference room, get the name badge and a rundown of your new field suit, and meet the rest of the team. Freshly nineteen and energetic as ever, you accepted this as a test. Find the dragon, make a good impression. 

It only took a few more minutes before you three stumbled on an otherwise empty hallway, staring down the colorful creature as it licked one of its paws. 

Your eyes widened, “It looks like an alebrije.”

“You have these creatures on your planet?” Loki asked, surprise written over his face. 

“Nope, alebrije’s aren’t real. They’re fantasy.”

“Nevermind that, help me catch it!”

Loki began shushing his brother, hands swatting his massive shoulders in the process. You leaned down to the floor and tapped it with your fingernails, hoping the nice gesture would cause the creature to meet you halfway. 

“Hey, buddy,” you cooed. “Can you come here please?”

The creature raised its head, colorful eyes on full display. Similar to rings of fire, but face like a fox, and fur as soft as silk. It titled its head, interested for only a second, before it kicked back and rushed toward the three of you at full speed. 

“Oh, shit-!”

As he was the closest, Loki pushed Thor to the wall and lifted you from the ground. But before he could throw you out of the way too, the creature leaped. Loki shielded you with his body, wrapping his arms around you and picking you up as the creature kicked his back and sent the two of you flying through wall after wall. Loki was taking the force of it all, his chest angled in a way to protect your head. It was about ten walls you two flew through before you landed in what seemed like conference room B… or C… or A. Loki rolled you over and groaned in pain. You landed on your back, bright lights blinding you as you tried to adjust. Then a figure came into view as your blurry vision cleared. 

You blinked rapidly and stared up at your new Captain. You smiled, a bit delirious, and raised your hand up for a handshake. 

“Y/N Y/L/N, new recruit!”

Steve just stared, eyebrows scrunched, an expression resembling a scowl and bewilderment painted on his face. He took your hand in his and shook it. 

“Forgive us, Captain,” Loki spoke, coughing as he turned over. “But you might want to get that shield of yours.”

    “When did we become a couple?” you continued once you agreed on the ‘party meet-and-greet’ as your previous answer. 

Now, this was a question Steve was wondering about since before you mentioned the necessity of such answers. Although he didn’t fantasize about being your significant other, he did wonder what possible event could jumpstart it. If anything, and he would take this to the grave, he assumed a line would be crossed during a particularly tempting mission. Bucky had admitted to him that on one mission, and Steve promised to take this to the grave as well, Bucky had to kiss Wanda to keep their cover. The feelings subsided soon after the mission was over, but Bucky confessed to real feelings developing. So if Steve had to bet, a particularly tempting mission. 

“When we were searching for Bucky?”

You nodded, “That works. We can say the fall of SHIELD basically led to us to realize how weak the system was and how we could easily manipulate it.”

The road veered off to the side, now dirt and unevenly layered. You checked the directions Torres gave you just to make sure. 

“And when is my birthday?”

You didn’t expect Steve to answer so quickly, and to get it right. Perhaps he looked over your file and remembered, because you were certain only your little friend group knew it. It was Bucky, it had to be him, the little shit, he told- 

“Surprised?”

“A little. How do you know it?”

“Nat. Who do you think sends you those chocolates every year?”

You were overjoyed, really. “Wha-? Natasha said she did it.”

Steve smirked, “She covered for me.”

“Why?”

“Because for five years after the snap, you and Nat did nothing for yourselves and did everything for everyone else.” He had been witness to the two of you pulling all-nighters, washing the sheets of your fallen teammates as if they were going to return that weekend, celebrating their birthdays in secret with a small candle and a prayer. Moving from the compound and into his own apartment was hard enough, but seeing his remaining teammates wallow in cursed self-determination was worse. So, he asked Nat about your birthday to send you chocolates and a lovely handwritten note, careful to write in a font different from his natural one, and he would fold tiny paper airplanes and leave them around the compound where only Nat could find them, providing her a sense of playfulness in her busy day. Little joys to make up for such an impact.  

“If it makes you feel better, I sent gifts to Nat and Bruce, too.”

But because Bruce had no forwarding address at the time, Steve settled for quick text messages here and there. 

“And here I was thinking I was special.”

Steve laughed at your statement. He reached into the middle compartment to grab the mics you would be wearing. “By the way, make sure to hide this behind your neck. My mic will blend in as a button.”

You inspected the flat, button-like mic, awed by how intricate their design was. “They connected to Bucky’s?”

Steve clipped his onto his shoulder, the camouflage effect throwing you off. Yup, you loved science. “Yeah, they record everything and immediately send it back already transcribed.”

You unfolded the sun visor and watched how the mic picked up the color of your skin and blended naturally. “Remind me to send T’Challa and Shuri a gift basket.”

“And more.”

The estate was exactly how you remembered it. Modern and simple all at once, a brown exterior to easily blend into the surrounding forest, and massive front gate that only opened with a specific code. You leaned out the window and typed it in. There was no speaker this time, probably evidence of newly installed cameras. 

“It’s beautiful,” Steve muttered, pulling into the long driveway and following the brick road. 

It truly was. Even from where you were, you could see into the mansion as the walls were all practically made from glass. The walls in the back were normal, however, as that’s where most of the business was conducted. There were no swing doors, only large and heavy double doors made from cooled lava rock. And even though your father was a very organized man, the house was littered in trinkets of all origins: professionally stuffed exotic animals, roman and oriental statues, porcelain eggs, multiple pianos, and first editions of some of the most popular books in the world. There wasn’t any set theme for this house, but it was screaming ‘money’. 

Steve parked the car away from the others, careful to leave enough room around it to ensure an easy escape if needed.

“Remember what I said - play the part. Leave the smart mouth to me, they know me. It’s what they’ve come to expect.”

Steve clicked his seatbelt and sighed heavily, “I apologize in advance.”

You gave him a small smile, “Nothing to apologize for, Steve. Like I said, this is a mission. Don’t stress about it.”

He shook his head, “Still.”

The sincere look in his eyes sent a tingle down your arms. You cleared your throat, “I feel dirty saying this, but know your place. You may be a Captain but you’re not manning this boat.”

For some reason Steve felt that he truly needed to apologize in advance. For the past several years, it wasn’t entirely real to him. He had not been directly involved. But now that he was here, parked and staring at you - the one person who had a first hand account of the horrors inside - he needed to make sure you understood he would never actually hurt you, or you him. “I trust you.”

You removed your seatbelt and opened the door, “I trust you, too.”

It was windy today, the ruffles from the trees almost disguising the labor coming from the back. You assumed they were still building the reception area. Steve jogged over to your side and hooked your arm in his, his body tenser than yours. Someone opened the heavy doors, immediately swallowing the oxygen for miles with merely their presence. You couldn’t help yourself from a small grimace, lips spreading into a straight line as you forced any other expression besides hatred. 

Seda, standing at barely six foot and a smug look plastered on his aging face that worried even Steve. This was the man that had shot you when he was on the run - the man that would most likely do it again. 

Seda quickly stepped down the stairs, “Y/N, so lovely to see you again!”

You let go of Steve to walk ahead, arms extended to match the idea of a grand entrance. “Really? Because the last time we saw each other, you shot me in the gut.”

Steve swore he saw Seda’s upper lip twitch. “You hold too many grudges. I was just following your father’s orders.”

You rolled your eyes and finally came to a stop in front of him, arms crossed over your chest. “Obviously.”

“And I’ve finally got the chance to meet Captain America! You’re much larger in person.”

No matter the acting skills one must obtain for this line of work, it was still obvious Seda was speaking through clenched teeth. He scanned Steve up and down, somewhat intimidated.

It was such a sudden shift, one you obviously knew was coming, but the deepness of Steve’s voice still caused unnatural goosebumps to rise. “I get that a lot. Helps in this business, though.”

Seda let out a low chuckle, “I would think so.” He turned and instructed the two men who had followed him out to reopen the heavy doors.  “This way.”

Steve tried not to gawk at the amount of decorations and old-timey artifacts he swore should belong in a museum. So much furniture, so much history that shouldn’t mix but somehow worked. And was that… was that a stuffed polar bear?

“So, how you doing, Seda? Besides the usual,” you asked, hooking your arm back with Steve’s. 

Seda walked with his head held high, only tilting his head downward when giving a silent greeting to those who walked by. You tried to memorize faces or see if there was anyone you recognized. But your father barely kept the same team for more than a few years. They either left voluntarily and luckily, or were simply never heard from again. 

“Excited for the wedding. Jackeline has been running around nonstop on her finishing touches,” Seda responded. 

You huffed out a laugh, “I bet she has. She used to have a scrapbook that outlined six different wedding themes.”

“And I haven’t seen the end of it.”

Only a few more twists and turns and you were finally near the familiar hallway that housed your father’s darkest work. The interior design was purposeful, no windows and no cameras. Steve unhooked your arms, opting for a more formal presentation between the two of you. Seda was difficult to please, but your father was near impossible. Better to not have his hands all over his daughter during their first meeting.  

“Hey, what’s the wi-fi password? I’m expecting a few important emails today,” you asked before Seda opened your father’s office door. Steve had to restrain himself from blessing the ground you walked on. Bless you for remembering. 

“‘Guadalajara’.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled, sending the password to Torres as quickly as you could. 

It wasn’t the grand entrance you expected, truly, but you didn’t expect to see your father simply chilling behind his desk signing a few papers. He usually paced, was in a random meeting, or on the phone. Here, he was just… strangely normal. 

He looked up, eyes locking with yours for the first time in seven years. “Now, I haven’t seen you since your little weekend trip to Jalisco!”

Yeah, since you had me shot. 

Stepping into the office, the smell of cigars was heavy. Musty and daring, enveloping you like the times it did before. But now you had Steve - sweet Steve whose warmth you could feel behind you. 

You shrugged, “I’m not traveling much outside the country these days. Too much shit going on.”

Your father stood up and let out a dry laugh, “No lie about that. Seda was telling me how loose the borders were when half the world croaked.”

“Emigration was common, yup.”

He smiled at you, walking over and placing his hands on your shoulders. You did your best not to tense your muscles. “I wish I could have been there. You guys made millions those five years.”

You swore you heard Seda scoff near the corner of the room. 

“It’s about time we met! Ernesto Vega,” your father introduced himself, holding out his hand for Steve to take. 

It was instant, the change, and you found yourself pushed softly to the side as Steve stepped forward. “Steve Rogers, sir. It’s an honor to meet you.”

Your father was practically beaming, “Y/N isn’t giving you a hard time with all the business, aye?”

Steve chuckled, “None at all. She steps back when asked.”

Okay, maybe he was a better actor than you took him for. 

“I can’t believe you even have to ask,” your father hummed, glancing back at you with a disapproving look. 

Steve shrugged, “More like ‘ordered.’”

It was scary how easily Steve was making your father laugh. “So, she listens to you? I wonder what that’s like.”

You interrupted, scoffing quietly. “I have literally done everything you’ve asked.”

And without glancing at you this time, your father quipped. “Everything but learn how not to complain.” 

You rolled your eyes and met Seda’s stare. He always enjoyed the torment your father caused you. When he ordered you do something sketchy and you objected, Seda always had a front row seat to the slaps and harsh language spit in your face. He had a way of bringing up the abuse in almost every conversation he held with you - like it gave him some form of sick satisfaction.

“Regardless of my daughter’s inability to listen, I was still surprised when she named you as her partner.”

“The whole hero game was getting boring. I needed excitement.”

Your father agreed, “Don’t we all?” 

Before he continued, he squinted his eyes at Steve and scanned him once more. Almost like he was double checking his initial choice. 

“And you’re fine with breaking the laws of the country you’re the mascot for?”

“America has changed over the last hundred years. Trust me, I should know.”

Steve was answering exactly how you two practiced. You couldn’t help the small tinge of pride that it ignited. 

“Oh, I can’t believe you’re older than me. I mean, look at you.”

“The positives and negatives of being America’s science experiment, sir.”

“But here you are now. Working for me.” Your father stepped back to sit behind his desk again. “I’m very happy.”

“Likewise, sir,” Steve replied as he shuffled closer to you, trying to not seem so suspicious. Last time Steve wanted to crawl out of his own skin was when he was barely being introduced to the new world. Times Square really was a concrete jungle, his and Bucky’s old apartment building had been demolished in the fifties, and inflation… don’t get him started on inflation.  

“I’d like you to meet my two friends.” Your eyes widened. No, you weren’t supposed to meet them today. You hadn’t planned for this. 

“Friends and competition alike.”

You tried to keep your voice steady, “Shouldn’t you warm them up before you invite them in? They’re gonna take one look at Steve and freak.”

Your father motioned for Seda to open the door. “Then prepare your speech quickly.”

Before you or Steve could come up with a game plan, your father called out to the new arrivals. “Amigos! Me gustaría presentarles al hombre detrás de toda mi operación.”

The men summoned were completely different from the last time you saw them. Given you saw Ramirez long before the snap and White even before then, change was destined. Ramirez was skinnier, no more protruding stomach, wrinkles almost nonexistent and eyes lively. He hadn’t disappeared with half the world, but one of his daughters did - so getting her back definitely helped his overall health. White, on the other hand, aged overnight. His hair was now gray, eyelids sullen but eyes wide, and his nose was tilted awkwardly, like a surgery to counteract the powder he sniffed. You couldn’t remember if he was dusted or not.

“Tienes que agradecer a mi hija por esto.”

He did not just give you credit for this. 

“No fucking way?” Ramirez spoke, almost like he was out of breath. 

Curse your father for not preparing these two. You quickly reminded yourself where your gun was hidden in case things got out of hand. 

White stepped forward, circling you and Steve as if you were displayed in a museum. “Do we each get our own Avenger?”

“Maybe in the future. But this one’s mine.”

“I’m an Avenger, too. But okay,” you mumbled, offended by his singular statement. Steve’s lip twitched slightly but the look he threw at you let you know he wanted to smile. 

“¿Cómo lo hiciste?”

“Ya sabes cómo es... La gente simplemente sigue mi ejemplo.”

You decided to speak, anything to get White to stop inspecting you like some ancient artifact. “Steve green lights the routes and passages. He’s been a main player all along.”

White squinted at you, “And how long has this been going on?”

“For almost ten years,” you answered. 

White shook his head in surprise, eyes wider than you thought possible. His accent was more slurred than you remembered. “And you’re telling us now because-?”

Your father cut in, “The world is still in ruins. If we combine our forces like we discussed before that unfortunate disappearing act, we’ll be unstoppable.”

This seemed to catch Ramirez off guard, as if he truly didn’t remember the conversation your father brought up. You shoveled his reaction deep into your memory. Maribel would have to look into it.

Still, Ramirez played along. “And you’ll be loyal to us, too? Not just Ernesto?”

Steve nodded, his posture straightening. “I would.”

Now, the two new arrivals looked at you. You raised an eyebrow. 

“Don’t look at me. I do what he says,” you admitted, nodding your head toward Steve.

They seemed to accept that answer. 

“And he’s here to help us move the shipment this Saturday?” White asked.

“That’s the plan,” your father confirmed.

It was time for Ramirez to circle you both. But he did so more casually and without the intent of kicking you in the shins, it seemed. He went to sit on the couch nearest the door, away from the crowd. You could sense Steve tensing up, so you turned your body slightly to the side so you could see Ramirez through your peripheral.

“How do we know we can trust him? What those stars and stripes have to do with us?”

“You hear that Captain?” your father asked, leaning back in his chair with that twisted smile that always made your stomach drop. “Time to prove your loyalty.”

“Are you seriously going to haze him?” you spoke, a hint of a teasing tone on your words. It was time to liven up the conversation, for both your sake, or else your father was sure to go overboard. His hand… where’s Steve’s hand?

“Does she speak for you?”

Steve stepped forward, “No, she doesn’t.”

“Prove it.”

You should really punch your chest to get your heart beating again. Was he going to make Steve try the product? Record something as blackmail? Kill someone?

“Wha-” you began, but were immediately silenced as an arm wrapped around your neck and held you in place. The coldness of the gun’s muzzle tickled just below your chin, still and steady, but nonetheless terrifying. Your father had held you in this position before - hell, most of his men did when asked. But it wasn’t any of your father’s men threatening you under orders - it was Steve.  

“Obviously, I’m not going to kill her. You need her for this whole operation to work. But a little roughing up never did any bad.”

He removed his other arm but kept the muzzle under your chin, grabbing both your arms skillfully and pinning them behind your back. 

You had never seen your father so pleased. “Why are you dating my daughter?”

Steve chuckled and clicked the safety. No, no. 

You scrambled to open your right palm and squeeze what you could reach. Steve seemed to understand right away, and he loosened his grip and placed his other shaking hand into yours. You squeezed tightly. 

“Now, that’s like asking a man why he breathes air.”

No matter the position he currently had you in, you still praised his acting skills. 

“Perhaps. But I know my daughter. Why you?”

Steve kept a firm grip. “Luck?”

“It seems so. Let her go.”

He released you immediately, clicking the safety back on. Seda was in front of him before Steve could place it back on his person, grabbing the gun and emptying it. Seven rounds tumbled and scattered to the floor. This seemed to please both men, as Steve wasn’t presenting himself with an empty threat. He really could have killed you. 

“I’m assuming Y/N has told you stories about me. About my men.”

The floor beneath you was uneven, it seemed, but once your mind stopped playing tricks on you, you settled. You shot a quick glance to Ramirez, his eyes closed and hands clasped in his lap. He seemed distant.

“Only the ones worth repeating, sir.”

“Oh? And which are those?”

“Orders and the like.”

“So, you don’t know much? Nothing interesting? Nothing that could make me seem like the bad guy?”

The room grew hot, whether it was the natural air or the bubbling anger boiling in your stomach.

“Like I said, sir. I ask her what I want to know and she tells me. Other than that, it’s your call.”

The room fell silent as they debated their other questions. 

“How much do the other Avengers know?”

You were about to respond when Steve spoke instead. “Oblivious. I’m still the stars and stripes for them.”

White scoffed, “Those symbols don’t mean shit in this new world. Ridiculous of them to still assume you’re the same man.”

Steve’s jaw tensed, “Exactly right, sir.”

This seemed to be enough for your father. He stood from his chair, walking over to shake Steve’s hand again. So righteous and personal, almost like he hadn’t just ordered the assassination of an old friend a few days ago. “I like you, Captain. You’ve boosted my business, you’ve handled my daughter, you’ve made me a lot of money.” 

He looked away from Steve to look at you now, laying eyes upon a person he hadn’t bothered to reunite with in person. You had fought so hard not to be in the same room ever again, but now you were. A small little office, holding whatever air you were forced to share, on a mission that could change everything. You hated him, absolutely detested the ground he stood on, blamed him for the fallout, the change, the hurt. 

“Seda, you trust him?”

Seda opened the office door and started ushering the other two men out. “I’m getting there.”

Your father laughed, “Always so cynical.” 

Ramirez stood from his seat behind you, already gunning to make a good impression on your Captain. He shook Steve’s hand, “Until next time.”

“Sir,” Steve returned the handshake. Ramirez only adjusted slightly, and held his hand out to you. You looked down at it, momentarily stunned from any attention, but shook it in the way you were taught. Firm, short, and ready for business. You grinned at him and he returned the same emotion. 

“Two Avengers. Wow,” he mumbled, and tilted his head in a farewell. You watched him go, a silly smile on your face. 

You went to take your leave, cautious of being left alone with your father. But as fate had it, he stopped you from leaving so simply. 

“Oh, and Y/N?” 

You turned on your heel, lips plastered in a straight line. You raised your eyebrows at him, already annoyed from the request he most certainly had, no doubt. “Meet me in a few minutes. Alone.”

You forced yourself to nod, turning quickly and leaving the room. You shuffled down the hallway, Steve hot on your trail and reaching for your hand. 

“Hey, hey. I don’t want to leave you alone.”

He tugged you back to him, but you pushed him into the corner room you were originally heading for. You shut the door softly, and allowed Steve to grip your hands in his. 

“Well, you gotta. Link our mics. You’ll hear everything.”

“Safe word?”

You chuckled lowly but retracted the teasing attitude when you saw genuine worry written on Steve’s face. “Widow, Steve.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you back there. I couldn’t think of anything else to do-”

You shushed him, voice barely above a whisper. “It’s okay. You didn’t hurt me.”

“I fuck with you all the time but I would never take it that far.”

Where was this coming from? Steve looked like he was about to start hyperventilating. “I’m good. You didn’t hurt me. I’m fine, see?” you placed his hand on your chest, making sure he could feel your heartbeat. “I’m good.”

“You’re good?”

“I’m good.”

Steve removed his hand and placed it over his own chest, rubbing slightly. “I’ll be right outside when he talks to you.”

“I know you’ll be. Now, stand guard, whistle low to alert me.”

“This the room? You know the code?”

It was a simple office as well, but resembled more of a library than a workspace. It was dimly lit, cluttered, smelled of the wooden cabinets and the dust collecting on the books, and lacked any windows as well. You nodded to confirm Steve’s question, heading over to the farthest bookshelf and pushed it away from the wall. The loose dust swooped from the wood surface and into the air instantly, and you had to pause to sneeze down your shirt. 

You wiped your nose, “I’m third in command. My father may have some things hidden but I have to know the codes to shit like this.”

Steve leaned his ear on the door gently, “You’re clear.”

You gave him a thumbs up and fiddled with the outside of the safe. It was built into the wall, black in color and definitely made way before you were born. It was quite rusted, the gold numbers on the lock almost faded. 

“Let’s hope he didn’t change it.” You turned the dial - seven, thirty-three, eighteen - and it clicked on the first try. “Bingo.”

“Did you have a backup plan if that didn’t work?”

You snorted quietly, “Smash?”

Steve rolled his eyes and pressed his ear back on the door. 

Everything inside had been recently rearranged. You figured your father used some of these ID’s when entering the country for the wedding and left them stacked on one another for the quick heist on Saturday.  “We’re in luck! Both my father’s and Seda’s ID’s are here, along with-”

You cooed, taking out your phone and opening the camera app. You snapped multiple pictures, with and without flash. “Stacks and stacks of cash.”

You pulled your purse in front of you and pulled out your wallet to make room, shoving it into your back pocket instead. 

“Help me put this in my purse.”

Steve left his post to help you shovel the ID’s discreetly into every pocket your purse provided, shoving things into corners so nothing protruded. 

“Damn, we gotta leave the money,” you pouted. 

Steve chuckled, “What a horrible thing.”

A sudden, boisterous laugh right outside the door caused you to rip your arm away from the safe, thankfully pulling the last of the ID’s with you. You pushed them into your purse, zipping it up. Steve reacted quickly as well, shutting the safe and rotating the dial, pushing the bookcase back into its original position. 

“It’s Ramirez and White,” Steve whispered, looking around the room for any help. “What do we do?”

“Ramirez…” you blinked, eyes wandering around the room as well. Think, think, think. The doorknob jiggled. “Trust me.”

You ripped your purse off and threw it to the nearest couch. You hooked your arms around Steve’s neck and jumped to wrap your legs around his waist. 

“Oh my-”

In any other scenario, the whimper that left your throat would have been caused by a surge of ecstasy. But you were frightened of being caught, the whimper a blatant signal to just follow your lead. 

“Slam me into the wall, Captain.”

The door flew open just as Steve did as he was told. 

“And I told him it was ridiculous - oh my…”

You lifted your head from Steve’s neck, wide eyes to accompany your surprised state. “Oh! I thought we locked the door!”

Ramirez covered his eyes bashfully, turning around and staring at the wall. “Don’t mind us, we were just looking for loose smokes.”

Opposite to his intruding partner, White laughed at the scene before him. He dipped low, hands on his knees as he joked. “Didn’t think Captain America had it in him! Been a stiff ever since the ice, huh mate?”

You could feel Steve tense against you, and he froze entirely. You drew your hand up to play with the strands of his hair, putting on your best flirty tone possible. “Oh, trust me. He’s pretty stiff right now.”

Steve seemed to calm under your touch, so he turned his head over his shoulder and gave an embarrassed smile of his own. 

“Excuse us again, Y/N. You two enjoy your time,” Ramirez apologized, pulling at White’s jacket to guide him out of the room. Once you heard the click of the door, you jumped from Steve’s grasp and immediately began patting his back. 

“I’m sorry.”

Steve chuckled, his blush rising from his shoulders to his cheeks. “It’s okay, you saved us.”

You inspected him closely, a little embarrassed with yourself. It was a bold move, but one that needed to be done. You stood in silence for a few more seconds, each of you adjusting to such a sudden change of breathing pattern. 

You shut your eyes and groaned silently, “I need to speak with him.”

“Can I wait outside the door?”

You picked up your purse and swung it around your torso, “No, you need to wait in the car. Or smother Ramirez and White, your call.”

The lines on Steve’s forehead deepened, “Y/N, I can’t leave you alone with him.”

You wanted to argue further because Steve really over exaggerated. You fought a whole army of aliens, robots, and even the infamous Winter Soldier. Sure, you lost the battle with Thanos on the first try, you lost a teammate with Ultron, and gained a collapsed lung from Bucky’s insane roundhouse kick, but you were positive you could take your father. “You’re gonna have to. I’ve been alone with him before.”

Steve placed his hands on his hips and gave you a blank stare. “He shot you last time.”

“Ehh, Seda did.”

“Y/N.”

You laughed softly, “Then wait in the living room.”

“The shield’s in the car. If you need help, I may not have enough time-”

Steve and that goddamn shield. The guy was acting like he wasn’t a super soldier. You were annoyed. Annoyed with a pinch of salt?

“You whip that shield out to save me and I swear to god-”

“Okay, okay. I’ll link our mics.”

He fumbled around on his phone for a few seconds before you heard the softest beep from below your ear. 

     The last time you had entered that room alone, you left with a bullet lodged deep in your abdomen and with the threat of having it done again. Stumbling and crashing into the walls and random trinkets, leaving your blood stains on anything you used to steady yourself. This time would be different - it had to be. Your father wouldn’t shoot you with the Captain America waiting in the other room. Then again, your father always seemed to top himself each time you were forced to interact personally. In an instant, he dropped the good guy act. Or, hyped joy. 

Now, his stare was cold and calculated, posture upright like he was awaiting your arrival. You couldn’t help but smile and roll your eyes, a tiny scoff breaking the silence as he returned it. 

“You’re one damn good actor.” 

He chuckled deeply, “We do what we have to do in front of the people who threaten our reign.” 

You kicked the leg of a nearby chair to turn it toward you. Sitting down, you retorted with a chuckle of your own. “You’re not royalty.” 

“We are... you are.”

Third in command. Daughter of the biggest drug lord south of the border? In most cases, you could be considered goddamn royalty. Did you want to be? No, because the title that seemed to fit was ‘a chess piece in the middle of a mad supremacy’. But that was too long.  

“So, what is this? You scared my Captain is gonna knock you off your feet and take your place?” 

His hands slammed the desk. His little basket of pens and pencils toppled over and spilled onto the floor. “I have waited seven, long years for you to bring that man to me. And each time you defied me. Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you right now!” 

You remained seated, a blank stare boring into your father’s. “Uh, probably because he would avenge me. Get it?” 

He wasn’t one for jokes, though. “It would be so easy.” 

Aggravating him further was not the smartest thing to do. And Steve had the same thought as he fumbled with his own thumbs outside, hearing the conversation from afar. He almost wanted to barge in just to put your ass in time out. 

But you had seven years to make up for - a little joke here and there shouldn’t hurt much. 

“You do know I’m an Avenger, right? Trained by Natalia Romanoff herself?” 

You worded your sentence carefully, her alias need not be spoken out loud unless you needed backup. 

“Answer me.”

When his nostrils flared, you knew better than to twist the knife. 

“Steve didn’t sign the accords. He was on the run for two years before you asked me for him. This is public knowledge.”

He pointed his index finger at you, shaking it wildly. “You lie. Why you lie?”

You had to blink multiple times through your shocked state, mouth agape and involuntarily racks of laughter spilling. He couldn’t be serious. You could only repeat the same thing so many times. 

“Like I said all those years ago - He. Was. On. The. Run. No contact. I had no way of contacting him!”

He struggled to grab whatever on his desk to raise toward your face. In this case, he pointed his phone in a threatening manner. “Excuses! Remember the last time you made such a poor excuse?”

The laughing stopped, your mouth immediately shutting. You clenched your jaw to work through your murderous impulses. 

You wondered how your hands would look wrapped around his neck. Red and angry, tightening as each desperate second passes, nails forming crescents as they pressed in his skin. If there was a window, you would definitely kick him out of it. Wave goodbye as he fell dramatically. But the mansion was one story high and you couldn’t magically conjure up a window. God, this would be the absolute best time to have Wanda or Loki here to use some of that dark magic. Either way, you just wanted to wipe that shit-eating grin off his face right now. 

“He. Was on. The run.”

“And I thought you learned your lesson.”

You stood from your seat and leaned on the desk, arms holding you up and face inches away from his. “You gonna send in your men to remind me? With my Captain a few feet away?”

His lips were trembling as much as yours were - face blotchy with silver droplets of sweat and an angry blush now reaching his forehead. For a seventy-five year old man, he still had such a rage in him that didn’t risk a heart attack. Lucky bastard. 

“He best not interfere if it’s what I choose to do.”

Outside, Steve gripped the back door handle to the point it squished in on itself, metal twisting awkwardly and splintering the paint. His free hand was balled into the meanest fist, even his stubby nails wreaking havoc on his pale palm. He was making himself bleed by the restraint. He took slow breaths, eyes closed but ears fully alert. He wouldn’t cry. Not right now. 

“I called you back alone to invite you to breakfast the day after tomorrow.”

Whether it was because he knew you were only a few seconds from lunging yourself across his desk to break his neck or because he was tired from all the energy he had just exerted, your father slumped back into his seat as he spoke. 

“The hotel has free breakfast.”

He shook his head in complete astonishment, “You’re not getting out of this. I have important business to discuss with each of you.”

You continued to stare him down, “Over coffee?”

He shrugged his shoulders, “I can’t leave the estate so close to the wedding. Your sister is flying in tomorrow and I have to make sure construction is done by then.”

“Right, ‘cause you’re the best father in the world.”

Being in the same room was suffocating, but you couldn’t help but be fascinated by the man. How unbelievably thoughtless yet calculated he could be. How unbelievably fake yet so damn real in all his hidden meanings.

“Jackeline likes to think so.”

Your sister was sweet, sure, and there was an unspoken agreement between the two of you to not fight one another, being the only daughters and all. But you were eight years old when she was born, already tainted by the world in which she was just born into. Forgive your lack of sisterly bond. When you were sixteen, you dipped. Now, at the sprouting ages of twenty-six and eighteen, you two couldn’t be more different. 

Actually, yes you could. If she thought your father was a good man, she was entirely ignorant of the world she lives in. 

“Good for her. Why don’t we discuss the shipment transport during the most important day of her life?”

“Nice try. That’s what the rehearsal dinner is for - rehearsal.” 

You gave your father a sad smile, “You really won’t trust me. After all these years of following your orders.”

“Now, let’s not go bringing up the past.”

You interrupted, “Why not? You’re trusting my Captain and I to help you move that shipment but won’t trust me enough to tell me where it is right now?” 

He was back to standing but he was much calmer. “Right now, I trust your Captain more than you. What kind of man would leave everything moral behind for a bunch of criminals? A bad one.”

“You’ve known him for like, two seconds.”

Your father searched his pockets for loose cigarettes. “He left everything moral behind for me. For you. And you left me behind for everything moral.”

Rolling your eyes, you backed away from his desk and headed for the door. “Sometimes you don’t make any sense. Is that it? Are we done?”

“You accept my invitation?”

“Do I really have a choice?”

“No.” 

     The mansion seemed larger than when you entered, the hallways longer, the walls closing in, the trinkets reaching out to stop you by the wrist. The longer you stayed in this hell hole, the more likely you were probably going to unleash the rage attached to your body in the form of your favorite weapons. Bomb the hell out of this place. 

You marched to Steve’s car. He was already waiting, leaning along the passenger door like he was going to open it for you. If he did, you might kill him too. So, you repeatedly snapped your fingers at him and pointed around the car, silently but angrily motioning him to get in. He didn’t need to be told twice. In fact, he thought it might be therapeutic for you to throw the door open and slam it yourself. It was. 

Steve started the car. He didn’t need to ask, there was no reason to since he heard everything. And so did Sam. Bucky. Scott. It was being transcribed as you swerved out of the estate. God, you wanted to throw up. 

“I’ll tell you when to stop.” 

Steve choked on his breath, “Stop?” 

You rolled down the windows to breathe in the crisp cold air, teeth becoming sensitive as it passed into your lungs. “Once we get past the cameras and nearby neighborhoods.” 

“Did you need-“ 

“When I say stop, stop. Fucking damn, Steve! Listen to me for once!”

Steve didn’t know why he was challenging you. Your father had just brought up one of the most traumatic moments of your life, basically called you a hypocrite and a coward - he tried to tear you down. And here you were, holding it all together like the champ he found you to be. But he never handled your outbursts well, even if they were completely justified. 

“Don’t fucking give me orders if you won’t tell me what they’re for!”

“Stop the fucking car!”

He slammed on the breaks, instincts still kicking in during your argument and he reached his arm out to your side to hold you back from the powerful surge. His body lunged forward, however, chest hitting the steering wheel and horn. 

You scrambled out of the car and ran into the woods, feet guiding you through mud and prickly bushes until they reached a more secluded spot. Steve stumbled along after you, nearly tripping over the same rocks you had avoided masterfully. 

Before he could ask what you were doing, you pulled your gun from its hidden holster and clicked the safety. Steve’s eyes bulged out of his head just in time to see the first round sound off mid-air. He crouched down to the floor and shielded his head. You shot away from him, obviously, until all seven rounds were dislodged, aimed in the sky diagonally. 

Once the last bullet exited, you simply packed everything up. Now calm and collected, you turned around and headed back for the car.

Steve’s voice cracked as he spoke, “Seriously?”

You pushed branches away from your head as you walked, “Seriously.”

“Do you know how dangerous that is? Those bullets don’t just disappear into thin air,” Steve scolded, jogging up to speed walk beside you. 

“So fucking what? I’m keeping the rent low in this area, then.”

Steve sighed in defeat, “Talk to me.”

“Sorry, I’m shutting down.”

“Y/N-”

You groaned, tears of frustration not entirely formed, but in their beginning stages. “You already know what’s stressing me out, Steve. Do you need it in writing?”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Steve lowered his voice. “What do you need me to do?”

“Just,” you paused, stopping to face him. You opened and closed your hands mid-air as if that would help you formulate your sentences better. “I don’t know. But when I find out, I’ll let you know.”

This Steve could accept. So he simply nodded, guiding you the rest of the way with his hand gently placed on your lower back. 

     The drive back to the hotel was fairly silent. The radio provided a calming relief from such drama. Steve would glance at you every so often to check on you, but you were always resting your eyes. This was only the first day of the mission - officially. If you were this drained from one encounter, Steve needed to rethink this whole operation. Whether it was healthy to keep you on, or if the threat was just too large. But no matter the alternatives, Steve understood that this week was going to be difficult either way, and you needed to be present. This was your mission after all. He was just your partner. 

Even with a thousand things on your mind, you were still conscious enough to check your surroundings, check-in with the agent posted behind the front desk, and reconnect your mic with the teams. 

Steve pushed open your room door and threw the car keys on one of the nearby tables. “Nap time?”

You ignored his initial question, “I didn’t think seeing them in person again would be so draining.”

Steve watched you carefully, somewhat scared that you would pull out your gun again and shatter a window. “It was pretty cramped.”

You started to disarm yourself, tearing off your sweater and holsters clumsily. “And they acted like we were all on good terms! Around you, at least. I know they’re acting for my sister’s sake and then we can go back to hating each other after, but really?”

Steve sat on the edge of his bed, eyes sorry. “I really don’t know what to say.”

You threw yourself onto your bed, burying your face into the pillows. You continued speaking, albeit muffled. “You don’t have to say anything - just let me rant.”

“You’ll tire yourself out, Y/N. C’mon, we gotta draft up this report-”

You lifted yourself up and started smoothing down your hair, “I need a drink.”

Steve pointed to the computer, “The report.”

“A drink.” 

“Y/N, it’s getting late. The sooner we draft it, the sooner-”

You grumbled out again, already opening the door and shoving your boots on. “Steve, I need a drink. You know what they do to me, what they’ve done to me, what they continue to do every single day. Now, join me or not but I am going downstairs for a drink.”

Steve paused for a moment, looking around the room hesitantly. “Can I at least take the laptop?”

You threw your head back and walked out the door, “Take the goddamn laptop, jesus fucking christ, c’mon.”

     If there’s one thing you were happy about today, it was that you booked a hotel with a mini bar on the second floor. It wasn’t an outright full bar, but it was low lit, clean and the counters were made from fine wood, and there was a variety of flavors to choose from. There were only a few hotel guests spread out and a single bartender. You and Steve took seats at the counter. 

“Whiskey sour,” you called for the bartender, trying and failing to give him the nicest smile you could. 

Steve settled in his bar stool, “Thought you wanted to drink to drink hard.”

You chuckled at him and extended your arms in a stretch, “I’m mad, not depressed.”

He grinned at your movements - as if just sitting in a bar already loosened you up. “In that case, get me a beer.”

     Natasha had called Steve for help after your fourth beer and fifth whiskey. Her coaxing proved to be pointless, each request of a safe passage home seeming to enter one ear and leave the other. And you’ll end up killing her when you were sober enough for sending unwanted reinforcements, but even she didn’t want to fight you. If you wanted to drown in liquid courage, that courage churning itself into raw despair, then she would allow it. 

Steve stared at you for a few moments. Head hanging low, a deep frown etched into your tired expression, index finger tapping your glass as if you were debating whether to down it in one go or to leave it. Steve had never seen you like this, guard destroyed and face practically pale, just begging to be left alone. And it seemed the whole bar felt the same way, as there was no music playing and everyone was wallowing in their own grief. 

“I can spot you from a mile away, you know?”

Your voice immediately pulled Steve from his own mind and he was surprised you could still form coherent sentences given the amount of empty glasses in front of you. 

“I don’t mean to interrupt.”

You scoffed, leaning away from him as he sat down in the stool beside you. “Natasha sent you. Don’t tell me otherwise.”

“I’m not saying anything.”

“Good.”

Steve ordered a beer for himself, and although he was driving, one beer wouldn’t impair him anyway. It wouldn’t even cause a dent in his 20/20 vision. 

“Fucking ridiculous, it’s fucking ridiculous!” 

The bar patrons seemed to wince simultaneously and the bartender simply gathered a few of your empty glasses to wash. Steve didn’t hush you, didn’t touch you, didn’t try to reassure you. If you needed to cause a scene, it was time. Your silence for the past week had been frightening, but when Tony returned last night, half dead and without the kid, it seemed to be your breaking point. 

“Wanda destroyed it. She destroyed the fucking stone and all he did was use another to bring it back.”

Steve took a sip of his beer to disguise his quivering lip, but his eyes had no curtain. His waterline swelled with fresh tears, eyes instantly reddening, an undesired sting pinching the corners. 

“Strange must have had a reason. He must’ve, but - how can that reason include the death of trillions?”

“We’re going to find a way-”

“And if we don’t?”

Steve kept his lips on the bottle, incisors biting down only slightly as he took in your rhetorical question. You continued speaking.

“He destroyed the stones.”

“Carol is looking for answers.”

You shook your head and pulled out your wallet, leaving whatever cash you had on the counter before standing up. You stumbled but Steve latched onto your arm and pulled it to hug his waist. 

“Loki?” you mumbled, raising your head to lock eyes with Steve. He didn’t know if you were calling him another name or if you were asking for the God’s whereabouts. “Bucky?”

“Hey, stop, stop.”

“Peter?”

Steve could only nod. What use was it to lie to you? Your new vertical position seemed to magnify the true extent of your intoxication as your eyes finally glazed over and limbs trembled. 

“Let’s get you home, okay?”

Gripping his shirt, you apologized each time it would crumble and you would accidentally tug it downward. But Steve didn’t care. You were practically limp in his arms, heavy and without proper use of your legs. 

“You’re a good man, Steve.”

Steve sighed sadly but couldn’t help the small smile that formed as he looked down at you and found you sporting a silly one of your own. 

“A really good man. I’m happy you’re still here.”

Steve paused for a moment, taking in your words and holding back his own tears. If there was a time he wanted to be drunk off his ass, it would be now. He was somewhat jealous of the brief relief alcohol had given you, loose and not fully aware of the drama of the world. “I’m happy, too.”

“No, you’re not,” you slurred, allowing Steve to guide you to his car. You slumped against the passenger door as Steve searched his pocket for his key. “I heard you crying last night.”

Steve halted his search mid-pat, a hard crease forming between his eyebrows as he lifted his head. “I wasn’t-”

“I cry too,” you admitted, a drunken pout on your face. “You don’t have to lie to me.”

Perhaps it was a dirty thing for him to do at this moment because you wouldn’t remember a single word of this conversation in the morning, but he figured there was no immediate harm. He found his key, unlocked the car, and helped you inside. Only once he entered the car himself did he take advantage of your blurry mind. 

“I cried for Sam and Bucky. Who do you cry for?”

You clicked the seatbelt on, mind clear enough for safety precautions it seemed. “Poor Wanda.”

Steve nodded and started the car. “Anything else?”

“Did I ever tell you about the time Loki asked me on a date?”

Steve immediately shut off the car and turned to you. “Huh? When?”

You grinned, small giggles bubbling from your chest. “A few months ago. He was so shy, too. I said yes.”

Steve ignored the twinge in his chest, “How was it?”

You leaned your head back and tilted it towards him, your smile faltered slightly. “Never went on it. And now he’s dead.”

The urge to lean over and wrap you in a much needed hug was there, eating away at him since you called him a good man. But he had taken advantage of this situation far too much, so he simply nodded in understanding and started the car again. 

“I’m sorry.”

You barely heard him, but you mumbled a quick response before letting the alcohol fully consume you. “Me too.”

     You thanked the bartender when they slid you your drink. “I hadn’t seen him since before the world went to shit.” You took a quick sip. “Kinda strange.”

Steve nodded, wondering if he should dive deep into the issue at hand. Instead of outright saying his outdated spiel, he eased into it. He gave you a few needed sips of your drink, at least.  “Y/N, can I ask an honest question?”

You hummed, “My toes are already tingling. You could probably ask me what my kinks are and I’d tell you.”

Steve suddenly burst into a fit of giggles, “You never could handle a sip of alcohol.”

Your eyes rounded at his reaction. Perhaps the alcohol affected him in other fun ways that he didn’t know. “Nope, I’m a lightweight.”

Steve contained himself before clearing his throat, “The question…”

“Go ahead.”

He rolled his shoulders and took a sip of his beer. Leaning in closer, he lowered his voice. “If it comes down to it, and god forbid you’re incapacitated, do you want me to kill your father?”

Your mouth opened slightly, the words stuck behind your tongue. You looked down at your drink, as if some special response was swimming in it. You knew your answer, but the way to phrase it was lost. 

“I don’t want his blood on your hands.”

“But if it was the last choice?”

You sighed, “If you pull that trigger, they’ll never stop coming after you.”

Steve’s eyebrows scrunched together, “But if you pull it?”

You shrugged and raised the glass to your lips. “That’s my life, Steve. Let me deal with the consequences.”

“That’s just it - you don’t have to. At least, not alone.”

God, you hated how perfect Steve sounded all the time. Whenever he was annoying you, fighting you, or protecting you, his syllables were stretched in the most glorious way, dipping into every crevice of the person they were delivered to and warming inches of body slowly. You wanted him to have somewhat of an evil side for once in his life, but no matter how many times you thought he would explode, he didn’t.

Two years ago, when he dropped you from his life in an instant, you had assumed you finally caught a glimpse at this evil side. It was the only time you were truly scared of him. 

“You really are a good person.”

Steve swished his beer bottle around, “I wish everyone would stop being surprised by that.”

“I’m not surprised. I guess I just want to hate you, and I can’t.”

Steve’s shoulders slumped like crumbling mountains and you couldn’t stop thinking about how vulnerable he looked. You wanted to pull him closer and rest your head to his chest, hear his heartbeat and apologize for theorizing a possible hatred. 

“Why do you want to hate me?”

“When you wouldn’t sign the accords, part of me saw that as the mascot of America not caring if he invaded and pillaged everything in his path.”

“But I-” Steve interjected, but you stopped him by raising your hand and waving it gently. 

“I know why you didn’t. Hell, I helped you escape.”

“Why did you help if you hated me?”

Being vulnerable with Steve wasn’t anything new. You were each other’s support system for those lonely five years, but it all changed the moment you defeated Thanos. So, for the last two years you didn’t quite get along. But here, now, you could always tell when Steve was being honest and open. 

“Guess I thought that if you were willing to help me with my family, I should help you with yours.”

His therapist desperately tried to rationalize the experiences Steve would tell, instructing him to look past hard exteriors and accept help from others. That his old friends were still friends, and enemies should never be compared to those he loved. And he knew he was easily blinded when something or someone had the slightest mishap, instantly writing it off as harmful. 

He spoke of you often during his one hour sessions - stories of your blatant silliness and crude jokes; how you would poke your finger into his sandwiches when you thought he wasn’t looking; how you almost beat up a kid and his little gang for baiting Peter after his identity was exposed; and how you and Sam had gotten into a bar fight over something so trivial, so unnecessary, that it was almost unbelievable to see you innocently scoot away from the body on the floor in the police video, as if you had nothing to do with it and those few feet of distance automatically cleared you. 

His therapist would just listen. 

“Did I ever thank you?”

You smiled sadly, “You went into hiding soon after. Then we went to battle, lost everyone, went to battle again, and then…”

“And then.”

‘And then’ wasn’t really something you two liked to bring up. It was still a fresh wound, somewhat patched up, but still open. 

You spaced out for a few minutes, both of you enjoying your drinks. You were no longer drinking to get drunk, not that it was your original goal to begin with. You just sat in comfortable silence, reliving the events earlier that day and drafting an internal report. 

“What are you thinking about?”

You pursed your lips and thought, clicking your tongue when it finally dawned on you. “This was the first time I saw Marcus White sober.”

Steve sat up straighter, “Are you sure? He didn’t look it.”

“Yeah, he usually speaks quickly and he fidgets. But he was coherent this afternoon.”

“Should that be a red flag?”

You took out your phone and sent a quick text to Torres for him to monitor White closely for the next few days, just in case. “A big one. My father referred to him more often than he did Ramirez.”

Steve tackled every idea in his head quickly, speaking as a new one popped up. “They could be planning a move against Ramirez. He’s close to overthrowing your father.”

You raised your head from your phone, “And the wedding would be a perfect distraction.”

“He would kill his greatest rival on your sister’s happiest day?”

You let out a low chuckle, “This man has nothing to lose. It won’t matter who he topples along the way.”

Steve opened the laptop, silently congratulating himself for bringing it despite your insults, and began drafting the report. The two of you worked for the next hour, nursing a couple more drinks before you sent the final copy to Bucky. 

~

TAGLIST: @dumb-ass-writer @justab-eautifulmess @supraveng @mycosmicparadise @missnighttigress​

[tearsrainandalittlepain]

Angst! Big angst!

Peter & Oc & Happy & Morgan (family dynamics)

Here without you (I’m barely breathing).

Trigger warning!

Talk of death, set during Tony’s funeral, abandonment (unintentional), lose of parental figure, grief and young kids.

A/N- this ones going to be a little heavy. Thank TikTok and those “they’re safe with me” videos. I’m also crying while writing this so it’s- I hope if Tony is your comfort character (like he is for me) then I hope this helps in a way-? I’m really trying to just process Endgame and where we go from here. I gre up watching the early MCU movies, but my favourites were Ironman. RDJ was a big turning point in my life, especially his recovery from drugs and Tony’s from alcoholism. Both the actor and the character saved me from a downward spiral that could have ended my life. It feels like a big part of me is gone now- so here I am tryna cope.

Written on app.

✨🌻✨

And when he fell my world grew darker.

It’s been a handful of hours since Tony fell, the other Avengers had fallen quiet, numb almost cold towards themselves and the world. Kai was curled in on himself, fists curled into his shirt which happened to be Tony’s favourite AC/DC one. His eyes were staring into the middle distance, tears long dried on his face. Peter quietly leaning against him.

No one bothered looking for them, the youngest on the field and the most forgettable by the looks. It hurt, however true or untrue that voice was.

It was Peter that broke the silence. “We should, Morgan-“ his voice was stilted, sentences broken as he tried to keep his emotions under wraps. Kai had a small flare of anger, the world sucked.

The world sucked because it expected the orphan and the misfit to still smile and be the most mature. It expected them to just move on after coming back five years later! Only to watch their father figure die. His hands curled tighter into the shirt.

“It’s not fair, ITS NOT FAIR!” Kai’s yelling caught Happy’s attention. The older man had been called after the dust had settled, only to be told they’d won but lost his friend. Rhodey had picked up Tony and together with the others they slowly made their way to the lake home to finally lay rest the the man.

Happy had stayed behind, waiting for the two to be ready to face the world outside of the battle field. It was the yelling that dragged him forward.

—

It took ages to get the pair into his car, forever more to get them back out once at the lake house. Neither could look at the Advenger’s not even at Rhodey who just sighed sadly and nodded at Happy.

They were left mostly alone, little Morgan was the only one brave enough to wonder into the misery zone. The only one who could understand what they’d lost that day. Rhodey, Happy, the others- they lost a friend, a best friend, a shining light. Pepper lost her best friend, partner, soulmate.

Those three, they lost their dad. Their mentor, their reason to keep fighting. Kai lost the only person who had cared about him, Peter lost the only other person who saw his raw potential and Morgan. Morgan lost part of her world.

-

It was at the wake, right after the arc reactor and flowers where pushed off into the lake that it really dawned on Kai that he was truely gone. The tears and chocked off sobs burst from him almost painfully. He was leaning into Peter, wrapped around him and trying to hide his face. Happy stood just in front of them.

Peter looked up at Happy as the man looked back, eyes red rimmed and puffy, “he’s not coming back this time is he?” Was all the younger could ask, fresh tears falling like rain. His hold on his brother tightened, “He’s gone. For good. I’ve lost him like I lost them.” There was something truely heartbreaking watching the way the Spiderling broke even more.

It was cruel, really, how the universe had taken yet another parent from him. It was cruel that Peter had opened his heart once more for it to be crushed. It was cruel that Kai had the first person who loved him and showed him what family was like ripped away.

Happy went to say something, anything, to help but before he could little Morgan reached up to grab his hand. “Mummy says that he’s still with us, in our hearts and memories and as long as we keep them then he’s here.” She really was a bright kid and it was a damn shame Tony wouldn’t be able to watch her grow up and prove to himself that he was better than Howard.

Happy took the theee kids into his arms, praying, promising, vowing that he would keep these kids safe until his dying breath.

‘Just so you know, they’re safe with me, Tony. They’re safe with me.’ And it felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders, a gentle ‘thank you’ on the wind and he knew, somehow, somewhere Tony knew.

-

It was a few years later, when Peter officially turned 18 that they got tattoos. Kai got the arc reactor in the Center of his chest with UV ink scattered throughout the blue so that it would light up of a night time under his lights. Peter got an Ironman helmet with Chrysanthemums, Alstroemerias and lavender. And Happy, Happy got a pair of blue tinted shades resting on top of a cheese burger.

It had put a smile on all three of their faces, caused giggles later in life and brought up painful spikes of longing and sadness. But the four of them knew that one day they would see Tony again. Would be able to tell him all the stories and they knew without a doubt in their hearts that he was proud of them.

-

It was a few years later when Happy passed. They trio were no less sad but this time they knew with their heavy hearts, Happy was happy. Sitting on fluffy clouds watching them with Tony, Steve, Nat, And Clint. It was Rhodey and surprisingly Bucky who took them all the the tattoo parlour after the wake to get matching cheeseburger/sunnies tattoo that made them giggle.

-

Up in the clouds, as close to heaven as close as they could get without crossing over the four sat. Happy was gushing about the kids, telling Tony and Nat everything they did through their lives. The family and friends they made and saved and all of the things they did with SI and all of their accomplishments.

Tony reached over, hand on Happys shoulder a bright smile tugging on his lips. “Thank you for keeping them safe.”

[yourmcu]

Wish You Were Here (ii)

Pairings: Tony Stark x daughter!reader, Peter Parker x Stark!reader (platonic)

Summary:

an Infinity War/Endgame AU where Tony Stark’s daughter (you) is one of half the population that vanishes in the snap, Tony finds out later on when he arrives back to Earth, devastated, then you come back like the others to help fight Thanos.

Word count: 3,115

A/n: (moved to the end of the fic!)

Warnings: angst, death, swearing, Morgan’s a cutie! and no seriously I miss him so much

read it on ao3!

Part 1

gif not mine! credits to the owner^^

Just like the others, you were brought back when the Avengers succeeded in retrieving all the infinity stones.

You're laying on the ground at the same place you were last time: Wakanda. Once you gain consciousness you struggle to get up, your legs wobbly.

“Hello?” You call out, but you're alone, can’t even contact anyone since your suit is out of power. You have no clear memory of what happened, just that you had an anxiety attack while Natasha held you, then you blacked out and - that’s it.

You felt a strong breeze and footsteps behind you.

“[Y/N] Stark,” a man’s voice says. “Come with me.”

The man is ancient looking, had a cape and his facial hair weirdly reminds you of Tony’s. “Who are you? And how long was I out?” You look at a sparking yellow portal far behind him, “did you do that?”

“Stick together and stick with Wong,” the man calls out before the portal closes. You have no idea who he was talking to since they already got in. “Doctor Stephen Strange. We need to find Pepper Potts and... get you suited.”

“I already am suited it’s just - no juice. What’s going on?”

“It’s been five years. It’s time, your father and the others need our help to defeat Thanos,” Doctor Strange opens up another portal to an unfamiliar cabin. Your eyes light up at the mention of Tony. “Quickly. We do not have much time.”

Five years? Unbelievable. That’s just insane. You like sleeping a lot but you couldn’t imagine being asleep for five long years.

“Are - are you sure we’re in the right pla - okay, sorry, don’t have much time, yeah,” you knock on the door when Doctor Strange gives you a stern and impatient look. It gets answered right away.

“[Y/N]? Oh my god,” Pepper says breathlessly. You could feel her sobbing while she hugs you tightly.

“Hey, you guys didn’t tell me you moved,” you frown. “Is all my stuff here? Mr. Strange wants me to get ready and this isn’t the only suit I have-”

“Doctor Strange.”

“It’s upstairs, last room on the left,” Pepper smiles as she wipes her tears. You nod and went up the stairs as the magic doctor told her everything.

All your stuff were in boxes and your spare iron suit was standing in a corner. You wiped away the dust off and checked if it was in good condition. It was ready to go.

You quickly charged the weapons and blasters on the suit, and you still needed to-

You hear a small gasp from behind the door.

Confused, you turn around to see a girl with an amazed smile on her face. “Y/N!”

You cautiously walk over to the small girl, “yeah, I’m Y/N, what’s your name?”

“Morgan,” she replies, then her eyes widen as she hides something behind her back. “Daddy said I can borrow your stuff as long as I put it back. They all look really cool.”

You still aren’t sure, but you start to put the pieces together in your mind: you were ‘gone’ for five years, this girl is living with Pepper, and if you guessed right, ‘daddy’ is Tony.

She’s your sister.

“It’s okay, and thanks,” she gives you a small hug which you return slightly, you feel a smile growing on your face since you find her really precious. “It’s nice to meet you, Morgan.

“Hey, so, there’s this weirdo man downstairs and he wants me and Pep - mom to do an errand for him,” you say to her once you remember you have to go. Morgan nods understandingly, “we can play and catch up when I get back, okay? That’s a promise.”

She runs back to her room and you get suited up, power at its maximum.

“Welcome back, Ms. Stark.”

“Glad to be. I missed you - actually, how Dad’s doing? Is he alright?”

“Mr. Stark had a concussion earlier, but as of now he is waking up again.”

“Oh,” you exhale and start worrying about him a bit. “Okay. That’s fine, I guess,”

Once you go back down a portal was already open and a nanny by the door (you assumed for Morgan). You fly right in before it closed up.

“Holy shit.”

There's armies coming out of many different portals, from people to aircrafts, to mutants. You all gather at the Avengers compound, or what used to be the compound.

“I forgot to mention,” you point out and Pepper turns to you, “That’s a pretty badass suit.”

You could feel Pepper roll her eyes from inside her suit. You follow her as she flies all the way to the front.

Your eyes dart everywhere to look for Tony. And there he is, getting up from the ground and flying back to the Avengers. He looks worn out, ragged, tired; you notice before his iron head covered him up. There’s so many people that you doubt he even saw you. God, you miss him so much.

Cap, Thor, Rhodey, Clint, Peter, Wanda, Bucky, Sam, Bruce - or Hulk, everyone was there, but where’s Natasha?

“Avengers!” Cap shouts, a hand extended as he catches Mjolnir without stumbling - whoa, what? - “assemble.”

That’s it. The battle begins.

It's your first time using your backup suit, you obviously didn’t have the time to test it out first. Good thing it works fine.

You're flying around, shooting enemies whenever they get in your way and helping anyone on your side who needed it.

What got you confused (not that you were complaining) was how the other Avengers were a bit too happy to see you than they normally should. You brushed it off though, they probably just love you so much like you love them.

“Aye, mind if you launch me? I need to be over there,” a raccoon holding a gun states and pointed to the direction. You recognize him immediately.

"Sure thing, bud,” you obliged, grabbing him, levitating off the ground and to thrust your iron arm forward like a cannon.

After a while the battle died down a bit and you saw Tony embracing Peter in a distance.

You smile sadly. Peter’s your best friend, but you really wish that it’s you who Tony was hugging.

Your jealousy fades when one of those giant flying Chitauri makes its way to their direction, ready to attack.

“Friday, activate the mega blaster,” you fly closer to the pair.

“Which one?” For fuck’s sake, Friday,

“The biggest one, please, now!” Once the blaster's out, you aim at the monster who's literally meters away from Tony and Peter and fire. When it crashes to the ground lifeless, you land beside them.

“Sorry, that was,” you pant, opening up your iron helmet. “It was literally going to eat you guys, so, uh, sorry for ruining the moment.”

Peter smiles, nodding and Tony looks at you as if he couldn’t believe his eyes.

He hadn’t seen you in so long that your sudden presence fucking took his breath away. You're here, alive and back. If you guys weren’t in such a situation he’d go on and tell you about all the things you missed.

“I’m probably in trouble, right? I mean.. look Dad, I’m in a battlefield,” you laugh nervously, shooting a creature from the corner of your eye. “In my defense, Doctor Strange was the one who came to me, I didn’t-”

You're cut off when Tony wraps his arms around you. Right now he didn’t care about your excuses as to why you were here. But if Tony from five years ago could see you now he’d definitely ground you for life and take away your lab privileges.

“You’re doing great.” his voice slightly muffled from the hug. You let out a squeak, not expecting that from him at all. Tony smiles and plants a kiss to your forehead. “I love you, kid.”

“I love you too, Dad.”

The battle carries on and you're being swarmed by more enemies. You got really beaten up as it went on - what really knocked you out was when Thanos’ spaceship rained fire.

Unable to get shelter, you try your best to dodge everything that came out of the ship. You could barely see anymore because of the chaos and the clouds of dust everywhere.

“Ms. Stark, you need to get somewhere safe! Your heart rate is also increasing dangerously fast.”

“Not - not helping, Fri-” you get cut off when one of the blue fires hit you on the head, sending you to the ground unconscious.

----

“[Y/N], come on buddy, you need to get up,” Peter. He found your body a while after he handed the gauntlet to Captain Marvel. The battle's still ongoing, but he’s focusing on keeping you away from it while he waits for you to wake up.

You quickly sit up and gasp for air, looking at your best friend. “Did we win? Did we - wait, Peter, look out!” You push him out of the way when a group of monsters make their way to both of you. They turn into dust before they could lunge forward, however.

“...what the..?”

He helps you up and the both of you run to where Rhodey and Tony are at. You nearly break down when you see the state he's in.

“Mr. Stark? Hey - Mr. Stark? It’s Peter... and look, Y/N’s here- she’s okay, sir-” While Peter tries to talk to him you kneel down beside him, placing a hand on his arm while you do your best not to cry.

Then he looks at you, mouthing it’s okay.

But you know it isn’t. On your part, anyway. It seems really selfish but you don’t know what you’d do without him. Tony has always been there for you, he always kept you going.

Pepper kneels beside you, gave you a reassuring look before looking at her husband. “Friday?”

“Life functions critical.” That makes you whimper, pulling yourself closer to Tony.

“Tony, look at me. We’re going to be okay. You can rest now.”

You nod, sniffling, resting your head on his shoulder lightly. “I love you. I’ll take good care of Morgan, dad. Don’t worry.”

When the light of his arc reactor goes out, that’s when both you and Pepper break down, comforting each other around Tony’s lifeless body.

----

Dresses really weren’t your thing. So were skirts and shorts. But you wore a short, black dress for Tony’s funeral. You didn’t care if you weren’t comfortable, it was for him. You’d do anything for him.

You barely got any sleep since the battle, you couldn’t now that he was gone. It didn’t feel right. You had no idea how to cope, how you could move on from this.

What made things worse is when Steve and Thor told you about what happened to Natasha, that’s why you didn’t see her in the battle. She gave her own life just to get everybody else back.

You must’ve zoned out again because Rhodey and Pepper are now setting something up in the living room. An Iron Man helmet.

“S’that going to be new decoration?” You force out a chuckle, sniffling afterwards, sitting down on the sofa behind them.

Iron Man’s eyes light up when Rhodey presses a button. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. Tony sitting on a chair, a hologram.

He turns it off before hologram Tony could say a word. “That’s,” he sighs, “that’s for later.”

“I can’t do this,” you get up, running a hand through your hair. “I can’t. I’ll - I’ll break down, I know I will. Can I take a walk? Please?”

“Take your time.” Steve gives you a comforting smile.

Pepper nods. “Some air would do you good. Be back when it’s time, okay?”

You take longer calming yourself down in the woods near the cabin. You cried, you mumbled to yourself, paced back and forth,

Cause a picture is all that I have, To remind me that you're never coming back  If I picture it now it just makes me sad And right now I just wish you were here.

You stop when you heard leaves crunching. Peter just arrived, along with his aunt.

“Hey,” Peter silently greets, pulling you into a hug. It's obvious he isn’t getting any sleep either. “Are you okay?”

“Of course not,” you murmur, pulling away. “I should probably head back inside.”

“I’ll see you in a bit.”

You slowly walk to the porch, stopping when you hear Tony’s voice inside. You decide to just wait outside the door, you definitely don’t want to see his face, not right now, it'd be too painful.

“If we pull this thing off, and get everyone back,” Tony pauses. “Tell [Y/N] I left something in her room, yeah?”

Then he does the secret rhythm to a clap only the both of you memorized and knew.

You assume he’s done, since you don’t hear his voice anymore after that. Everyone goes out of the house and you hold Morgan’s hand as all of you walk to the lake for one last goodbye.

After that you talked to everybody who came for a while. Bruce, Steve, Clint and Thor tried to get you to look at the bright side, which you appreciated, you met the rest of the guardians who came, Doctor Strange who gave you a sympathetic look and apologized for your loss, and the guy you remembered Tony told you about, the one who helped him when his suit powered down and got stranded years ago. You made a mental note to ask him to hang out with you and Peter sometime.

“Hey... I’m heading to bed now,” you inform Pepper, Happy and Rhodey (both men were staying at the cabin for a few days) who're in the living room staring at the fireplace.

Before you go to your own room you check up on Morgan, who’s fast asleep. She's wearing her little Iron Man glove, pressed to her chest. She doesn’t deserve this.

Your room is still unpacked and they just sort of removed your bed from the compound and moved it here. You sit on the bed, already thinking of ways to move on that you know wouldn’t work anyway.

You remember your father claimed he had something for you here, so taking a deep breath, you clap the secret rhythm,

“Dad... you’ve gotta be kidding me,” you whine, covering your face with both palms.

Another hologram.

“Hey legacy,” Tony chuckles, looking at you. You shake your head at the ridiculous nickname, also avoiding his eyes, which you’re sure would make you cry if you did look. “I... uh, this is just a little video. For you. Sure you won’t see this but... I like to pretend I could still talk to you. I miss you, a lot.”

You fiddle with your hands, still not looking at him but you listen to him talk.

“But we’ll see. We’ll figure something out. I hope to see you soon, [Y/N]. I love you.”

He has both hands in his pockets as he looked at you with a warm smile, before disappearing.

But he reappears a second after.

“We’re doing it tomorrow. The... uh, time travel thing.”

The stress in his voice make you look up at him, but this time he isn’t looking at you. It seems like he was pacing while he recorded it.

“I just finished doing one of these for, well, in case I somehow die while we attempt to do it. If you think about it, it’s highly likely. Going back in time, yada yada, possibilities are endless,” he sighs. “But I figured I owe my firstborn a final message if that happens, right?”

“Honestly I feel,” he makes motions with his hands. “Bit anxious... right now. We were the only ones helping each other out when one of us felt this way but... seeing as you’re not here, I just have to deal with it.”

“[Y/N], look at me,” Tony crouches down to be in level with you, like he knew you were actually here watching this, like he was actually there, the one talking to you. But it’s how he programmed it. “You wanna know what my best decision in life was?”

“Yeah?”

“Taking you in,” he smiles. “When we fight you always bring up that I had the choice not to, and you were right. But guess what? I have no regrets.”

You smile, blinking back tears.

“You mean the world to me, I just feel like I don’t say it enough,” Tony cocks his head slightly, still looking at you. “We both have no idea what the afterlife’s like but that won’t matter, I’ll always look after you girls.”

“Speaking of which, your sister reminded me so much of you when she was first born, god, I still wish you were around for that. I know you’ll love her, she’s just brilliant. Take care of her for me, yeah?”

“Maybe there’s a way to get you back,” Tony sighs at your words, already knowing that it’s not going to work out. “I - I just need some time. I can bring you back, Dad-”

He places a hand on your shoulder. You couldn’t feel it, but you did feel a light breeze. “The deed’s already done, honey. Don’t worry about me. Come on, don’t cry,” he kneels in front of you as you let yourself go, crying hard into your palms.

Don't say everything's meant to be, Cause you know it's not what I believe  Can't help but think that it should've been me In the end, I just wish you were here.

You open your eyes when you hear a beep, even Tony turns around. The recording had ten seconds left. “The recording’s about to end, [Y/N],”

“I love you tons,” you whisper, looking up at him.

Tony smiles, caressing your cheek. “I love you 3,000.”

Yeah, they say you're in a better place, Either way I still wish you were here ‘Cause they say you're in a better place  In the end, I just wish you were here.

----

so here’s part 2. I miss him y’all, it’s missing-Tony-so-much hours for me

just like the first part, I got the title from this amazing song by Neck Deep which you can listen to here.

[taglist: @creation-magician​ (which I would like to personally thank for wanting to be tagged)]