#the eligible bachelors are like

[tavina-writes]

A Practical Discussion of Eligible MDZS Bachelors During the Second Life

So I keep seeing discussions floating around about like "why aren't any of these people married" and "are JC's standards too high?" and other assorted nonsense, so I have decided to put together a ranking of like "if a practical minded historical* woman wanted to get ahead politically with the LEAST amount of #suffering, what rankings would she give these guys." Because I've been really fond of @dangermousie's poll options, I'm calling this girl Potato.

*Historical fantasy more or less given that we assume that Potato is also a cultivator.

Jiang Cheng There are many reasons for this but 1) Jiang Cheng's in-laws consist entirely of (1) bratty nephew who doesn't even live at his house full time, 2) there are no other meddling in laws or sect elders given that Jiang Cheng is the only one! 3) he is reasonably good looking, well off, and has social status by this point in the story. Potato can probably win over a bratty nephew! Downsides include: if Potato doesn't like spicy foods oh dear, but honestly we don't know what Potato's spice tolerance is so it could still work out!

Nie Huaisang: Being married to NHS would be an exercise in perpetual embarrassment, and it's unclear if his budget line items ever since Da-ge died are any more detailed than "Summertime Sadness." There are worse people to marry, but why anyone (including Potato) would willingly choose to marry NHS for political benefit eludes me. He is ranked higher on this list than any Lan largely for the sake of "his mom was probably not in solitary confinement" and "there are likely no dietary restrictions present in his house." but the other downsides include "he's probably going to go INSANE" at some point but silver lining on that front is that he's really not a very good cultivator, so it probably won't be as bad as NMJ's insanity bender? Potato could rank him lower than any Lan options tbh.

Lan Xichen There are also many reasons why Mr. Zewu-jun is not an ideal marriage candidate for practical reasons but this largely has to do with his family. There's 33 favorite grandpas who seem to have opinions on the regular. The in-law trouble would suck tremendously. There's 5am wakeup calls and 9pm bedtimes and no meat or alcohol. There's like between 3000-4000 rules Potato will have to remember and actually follow! His mom spent her entire married life mysteriously in solitary confinement. #Yikes!

This seems like an unwise place to marry into. Potato could do better.

Lan Wangji See above except for the part where he doesn't even like Potato and only thinks about WWX all day.

Lan Qiren I am uncertain about Potato's investment in #HotDilfsInLocalArea but 3000-4000 rules and many of Zewu-jun's problems.

Jin Guangyao He's already married and he's never cheating on his incest marriage, and he has his ex's head in his bedroom closet. Also #Yikes. Potato could do better than this too.

Basically: Potato should either aim to marry Jiang Cheng or go to live as a hermit in the woods.

[sylver-drawer]

Rereading wmmap for the hell of it and things that further add evidence onto novel Ijekiel’s behavior towards Jennette being a result of HIS OWN expectations he held himself to, when Athy/Lee Jihye falls into him for their first meeting, and then hides because Roger approaches. Roger then talks to a young Ijekiel, and Ijekiel says how he was looking for Jennette because Jennette got upset and ran out of the mansion due to hearing about Ijekiel studying abroad.

BUT THEN. Roger tells Ijekiel that he doesn’t need to deal with Jennette’s tantrums! Because though Jennette is important, Roger tells Ijekiel that he holds Ijekiel more important than her! Ijekiel knew then—from a childhood age that he never needed to look after Jennette or obey her requests. Roger never held that expectation on him. The only one holding him to the responsibility of ‘looking after Jennette’ was Ijekiel himself! It became such a thing that he bound himself to, so much so he dreaded it though no one but he wanted such, not even Jennette herself! Yet he dared, dared to push and blame that on her, that it was her fault and her selfishness that crushed him and made him resent her so—but it was himself all along! He was never actually bound to her, never actually pressured into taking care of or obeying her. It was a role he forced himself into taking, and blamed Jennette for the moment his resentment and jealousy bottled up and bursted!

[wormsincoats]

fit fucking mc being involved in one of the most popular gay ships in the fandom will never not be funny to me

[justaz]

kagami who drops in and woos adrien agreste but has everyone turn their back on her for breaking up their beautiful adrienette (even tho they weren’t even dating and adrien showed little signs of being interested in marinette)

marinette who went out with chat noir once and pictures of the two of them circulated and almost the entirety of paris hating her guts for breaking up their beautiful ladynoir (even tho they weren’t even dating and ladybug showed little signs of being interested in chat noir)

marinette and kagami bonding over being demonized for liking a boy and the fact that misogyny won that day.

anyways. my point is. marigami. thank you. goodnight.

[softshuji]

DON'T LISTEN THERE ARE NO RUMOURS

@20201816

[ledaswann]

19 & pausing to take my glasses off, huff on them, wipe them with my shirt n put them on before responding to a question. if anyone needs a dad im right here

[fountainpenguin]

Origin of the Pixies

Fairly OddParents ~ (August 2016 - Ongoing)

"Talk of these things should be reserved for fathers and sons. I'm Head Pixie. I'm your aldra mór, but I'm no one's daddy."

Head Pixie backstory longfic

Drama & Angst (I hear there's fluff in here somewhere...)

First-person POV

Dead Dove

Summary

After being infected with Wolbachia pipientis - the real-life bacteria that causes insects to reproduce asexually - Fergus Whimsifinado soon finds himself a single father struggling to provide for 500+ genetically-identical offspring he never really wanted in the first place. Suddenly becoming the first member of a brand new species means complex politics to deal with, a Pixie World to build, a shipping company and a therapy business to manage, and a budding interspecies war to survive... ... All on top of raising children.

Not Rated; Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings

Read on FFN | Read on AO3

Chapter Recaps | Gen 2 Pixies Sheet

Cloudlands AU - Detailed warnings & other AU info

More Fairly OddParents 'fics

This work has a largely T tone. Borderline M for themes like 'queen bee' insect people fighting to the death, getting abducted by Cupid's family for study, being forced into a will o' the wisp's harem to ensure milk for newborn Sanderson, and general themes of non-human reproduction, child loss, and war.

Head Pixie-centric longfic with a focus on:

- Growing up with freckles in insect society, where you're typecast as a violent "queen bee" who'll stop at nothing to defend his hive. Set Daddy's fortune aside for wergild; you're gonna need it. - Accidental selkie wife addition (Please don't send her back to Mom; she needs this job) - Local party boy struggles to prioritize fatherhood above raves - Getting abducted by Cupid's hot grumpy mom, who's absolutely willing to push you to your limits if it means she can unravel your biology and show you off to all her friends - Raising little worker bees... I mean, drone pixies who regularly need their faces licked for pheromone exposure or they'll cry - Cloudlands' most eligible rich bachelor rejects hugs because he fears bee-instinct cuddle death attacks; more at 11 - Building a company up from nothing. Gotta start somewhere- Why not with cupcakes? (Maybe cute kids are good for something after all...) - Raising an heir you're biologically programmed to kill... It's fine- Sis is raising the spare - Why did we think adopting a cù sìth that can steal your soul if you lie was a good idea? - The cool girl who founded the human godparenting division is afraid you'll hurt her with your big, scary muscles and she'd rather "just be friends." oh no. - WHAT midlife crisis? Hahaha... Don't read Chapter 37. - The war over godkids from "Balance of Flour" (Season 7); H.P. and his 4 eldest pixies are drafted on the Fairies' side. Huh... That's gonna cause issues with the whole "BFF with the leader of the Anti-Fairies" thing... - Divorce? Child loss?? Raising some anti-fairy kid with Anti-Cosmo? Uh-oh. - His hat is also a pen

Read on FFN | Read on AO3 | Blog Tag

"I'm impolite and I make fun of everyone! I'm immature but I will stay this way forever <3" (x)

[truckcrash1980]

happy pride month to arcade gannon from fallout new vegas

before i met him again i leveled my speech really high so i could recruit him as a companion and then i got the option to flirt with him instead and he immediately decided to come with me

[anxiouspotatorants]

Not me shipping Sansa with Podrick in year two thousand and twenty four

[mossytrashcan]

yeah that’s it I’ve got to get mutuals who actually like the shit I like

[ceramicbeetle]

THINKING about Chirp’s “this is like one of the only women I've gotten to hang out with, and so I think that I'm like, I don't want to fuck it up” re: whether she wanted to really exert social pressure on Binx during their convo in Duel on the Southern Lawn

[sanduchengjiu]

one thing that always bothered me and confused me about mdzs is why Wei Wuxian and Jiang cheng were pitted against each other so strongly. Bc even if you take into account that people would assume wwx was a bastard of jfm, in the narrative its something that is common? Or at least in terms of the Jin, there were bastards flying all over the place but I don’t remember there ever being competition about who would be the sect leader, it was always Jzx until he died. So idk if I missed something or I’m misremembering but it honestly feels like most of the pressure came from the fragile relationship between the Jiang parents and less about what society thought. Also favoring Wei Wuxian is one thing but jfm never gave any implication that he was being favored as the next in line, as shitty as his favoritism was. It just makes me feel sad that both boys were under so much pressure for absolutely futile reasons at the end of the day. Like was jc’s cultivation that bad?? I don’t think so?? And even then if he was less talented than wwx it wouldn’t matter bc he’s still the heir. It would be insane if jfm just decided to break convention over talent bc of some sect motto. And I don’t remember there ever being a requirement to be an outstanding amazing cultivator to be sect leader. If that was the case then there would be no hereditary structure to succession, and jfm wouldn’t even be on the roster? Neither would jgs. There was never any importance on their ‘talents’ so wtf was the problem.

Also what was the timeline on Wei Wuxians conception bc he and Jiang cheng were born like a week apart at least at most one year and it seems like wwxs parents were not even at lotus pier since they left to wander together. I feel like that would clear a lot of things up tbh. bc I don’t think jfm capable of finding csr on the road and conceiving wwx and then coming home to yzy and conceiving jc, and csr wasn’t even a yunmeng jiang cultivator it was wcz?? So what was the overlap. Like did jfm get wcz pregnant or what?? Were they regular visitors to lotus pier? To me it read like jfm was a great friend and leader to wcz and admired csr but I read it a while ago so idk. It’s not helped by the fact that jfm doesn’t seem to favor yzy more than is necessary at least outright, and we all know she ain’t the most attentive either. So basically jc and wwx were brought into the world into a weird and fucked up long distance foursome situation and spent their entire youth suffering under the second hand feelings of their parents.

[atomicwrongs]

Sonia can show them the way

Sonia brings out the diagrams on how she could hypothetically engage in coitus with the Safezone 2.0, forcing Dulwit to return to the drawing board to create the Safezone 3.0, a spacefaring vessel that is 100% safe and 0% fuckable

[tmmyhug]

this is baffling me. should it not quite obviously be the other way around

[aciakatura]

[thebirdandhersong]

I think I'm over the "men are the WOOOOOORST" hill of irrational rage :D