#him acting like he was suffering and being tormented so much for so long

[aboutcustardcreams]

Time. I want more time.

Summary: Rio finds you, or rather you find her. But things don't go as planned. They simply can't. And when together with Nicky and Agatha, you make her an offer, one so tempting, so impossible to refuse, it makes Rio forget why she should. So she takes it. Just for now, just for this moment, Rio -not Lady Death- allows herself the thing she’s denied for so long. Time.

a/n: I’m so, so sorry it’s been so long! As I mentioned before, I was busy studying for a public competition, which I finally took a couple of days ago. On top of that, I came down with the flu, which slowed me down a lot. But I’m feeling much better now, so here I am!

I hope there aren’t too many typos or mistakes—I didn’t reread but I'll do it latr today (let’s be honest, it is very on brand for me at this point). Anyway, I hope you like it! ❤️

previous chapter

They gave her a job, a very specific one, that clashed with every fiber of her cosmic being. Only then did Rio realize why mortals loathed and resented her so much, why each and every time she showed up to collect a soul, all she saw was fear and despair swimming in the eyes of those whose life had sadly come to an end. 

Lady Death always found a way to justify herself, until now. She persuaded herself into believing that those who feared her were just… ignorant to the real purpose of her visit. She was meant to be welcomed as a friend and not dreaded as an enemy. And some did see her that way, as a release, a quiet mercy. But most didn’t. Most couldn’t. And now, she could see why. 

Rio couldn’t help but wonder, what kind of balance was she trying to achieve by condemning you to years of torment. What good was to the world if she made sure you suffered for having used your power to save your child? She searched for the meaning of it, but this time she failed to see it. 

The Fates had been outraged, that was the truth. The punishment  she was meant to inflict to you had nothing to do with what was fair and what wasn’t. 

She sighed deeply, as she leaned against a tree. Was it better to warn you or to do it, from night to day? Should she speak to Agatha? Should she show up at all, or complete the task hidden in the shadow?

She brought her hands to her face and then rubbed at it, out of sheer petulance. She inhaled and exhaled shakingly. Silent tears welled up in her eyes then slid down her cheeks like a raging river, the moment her eyelids fell shut. 

Rio couldn’t do this to you, without granting an explanation. She couldn’t distort Agatha and Nicky’s life by acting behind their back and yours. 

Then she heard it, a voice, one she had been allowed to listen to, from the fragile veil between the two realms. She froze before crunching down behind the tree she laid on to stay put. Quickly she wiped her eyes, before tugging her hood over her face. Silence was one of her crafts. Death could come unexpectedly, like a hurricane as well as softly and subtly like the faintest whisper of wind. And now, despite the tragic drumming of her heart, she was the latter. She had to be. 

“I’m so full, mama,” she heard Nicky say, with a sigh, though by the tone of his voice, she caught how satisfied he actually was. 

A smile tugged at her lips, small, yet sincere. 

“I can see that,” Agatha mused, her blue eyes flickered from him to you, “your stomachs are like bottomless pits.” 

Your head lolled to the side, kinda dreamy. “But the lamb stock was so good, Ags.” Agatha rolled her eyes at that. She wasn’t there to deny that, her point was another. “I know that, but you had three refills, my love. Three–” she repeated, playfully elbowing at you. 

You stuck your tongue out at her in response. 

Rio watched the interaction unfold, struggling to keep her soft side at bay. She tried to see you as another task to complete, and as soon as she did that, she cursed herself because you simply were not. To separate her love for you from the things she had to do against you was impossible. 

Before meeting you and Agatha, her job was relatively easier– if not completely, it was at least partially bearable. Without emotional ties, her tasks were just that: assignments to be completed, objectives to be met. But you weren’t one, and you could never be.

“I had four!” Nicky squealed, catching her attention once again. You turned towards the boy, and so did Agatha, whose eyebrows shot up. “My, my, four you say–?!” Playfully, you draped an arm around his middle, pulled him snug against your side. His back bumped into you and before he could react your fingers found his tummy, wiggling silly. “I wonder how all that food fits in this tum-tum of yours, lil champ!” 

His reaction was immediate. Laughter burst from Nicky as he squirmed and squealed, his small hands pushing at yours but to no avail. Agatha watched with a fond smile, her eyes glimmered to the sound of her son’s giggles mingled with yours.

“I’m a grown up now, mama–” he protested between laughs. “I can eat more than both of you, if I want to!” 

“Oh-ho, hear that, Ags?” You leaned in, pressing a quick, affectionate kiss to the top of his head before finally setting him free. She hummed, a playful sound slipping past her lips. “We’ve got a tween on our hands–”

Nicky braced his hands on his knees and bent forward to collect his breath. But the glimmer in his eyes gave it away– he was happy, perhaps the happiest he has ever been. 

He could have it all now: a long life ahead, his mothers by his side and no more battles to fight. Rio’s hands turned into fists, her nails dug in so hard she ripped at her skin, but she felt no pain. The only ache– the most painful and persistent inhabited inside her chest. Nothing could top the feeling of her heart turning darker little by little. 

Agatha grimaced, brows furrowing in feign disappointment. “Well, it’s a shame really–” she rummaged through her nosebag, quickly catching the boy’s attention. And yours. His eyes locked onto her hands the moment she pulled out a bundle wrapped in cloth. She peeled it back, revealing two soft oat cakes, still warm, their golden surface glistening under a thick glaze of wildflower honey. They looked delicious. Nicky felt his own mouth water at the scent they emanated. “I was going to give you these later today as a snack, but since you’re a big man now, perhaps you’d rather donate them to younger children?””

His brows furrowed, his mouth parted ajar, ready to protest, but you were faster. 

“Or–” you rolled your tongue, drawing closer, eyes on them. “I could eat those.” 

Agatha should have known. “You’re worse than him,” she mused, keeping the oat cakes at a fair distance, giving you an innocent push. 

An impish grin tugged at your lips, before you giggled, “you do call me baby girl, don’t you?” 

Agatha snorted out a chuckle as she glanced at you. Her eyes spoke louder than any words. “This is not the appropriate context…”

You played dumb, “is it?” 

Nicky, completely ignoring your staring contest, decided to interfere. “If mama can eat those, so can I,” he reasoned defiantly. 

Oh yes, your boy was sharp. 

“His logic is airtight,” you admitted with a nod. 

A toothy grin played out on his face, one of victory. 

“Fine, fine,” Agatha snorted in defeat. “Both of you can have it. But later– unless you want a serious stomachache now.” She put the treats back in her nosebag, silently enjoying the way your lips turned into a slight pout, matching Nicky’s. It took all her willpower not to pounce on you two and pepper your faces with sloppy kisses. 

“We can wait, right kid?” 

Nicky nodded promptly, muttering a soft ‘I guess’, before resuming his walk, trotting ahead and busying himself searching for pieces of wood. 

You and Agatha remained a few steps behind him. It was peaceful. It was everything you always wanted. 

You were looking for a spot to settle down for the night, but in the meantime, something caught your attention. There, on the forest floor, nestled against the green of the leaves, were clusters of red berries. Their deep crimson skin gleamed, looking so smooth, plump and perfect, you couldn’t help but feel intrigued. Something about them felt off, though. You crouched down, fingers grazing the soft, delicate surface of one berry. You squeezed one between your fingers and then leaned in, inhaling it softly. There was something faintly bitter underneath its apparent sweetness– like decay. It made you wince.

“Are there any good?” Agatha asked, lowering herself to crouch beside you.

Her hand brushed a strand of hair from your face behind your ear and when she did she caught the way your nose scrunched up. 

“I’m afraid not, unless you’re eager to lose your sense of taste,” you hummed, discarding the berry and wiping your fingers on a large green leaf lying there.

Agatha chuckled softly, with a shake of her head. “Pass.” 

“Thought so,” you grinned, pulling yourself up. 

“It’s fascinating, isn’t it?” 

You met her gaze, the subtle shift in her tone inevitably caught your attention. “That not everything is as it seems?” 

“Yes,” she began, leaning in just a fraction closer, so that her warm breath crashed against your cheek, tickling your skin and making your stomach flutter. “But also that something so good looking, juicy and rich like those barriers can also be potentially… lethal.”

You couldn't help but let out a quiet chuckle at that, your head dipping with amusement. You got the feeling it wasn’t just the berries she was talking about. Nicky, a few steps ahead, was too engrossed in his own task to notice the conversation going on between you and Agatha, his back turned as he collected wood and pines. 

“Are you calling me lethal, Ags?” You said, your voice barely above a whisper as you leaned in. 

Unable to resist, she pulled you by your hips, her eyes bore into yours and you saw a flicker of arousal swim within them. There was hunger there, barely restrained. One you understood very well, because it was similar to yours. 

She hummed, her hands squeezed your hips, fingers kneading slow, deliberate circles. Each stroke of hers sent a shiver running up your spine and goosebumps to rise over your arms. Her breath ghosted over your lips, so close it made your skin tingle. “No, not lethal.” She shook her head. 

You swept your tongue over your mouth, and her eyes followed there helplessly. She wanted to claim you, pull you close and devour you right then and there, but the sun was too high in the sky. And then there was Nicky… “But easy to fall for, yes.”

You bowed your head, a quiet chuckle slipping past your lips. One Agatha found herself going mad. When your eyes bore into hers again, only a second passed before you kissed her. Agatha exhaled, her mouth parting instinctively as her eyes fluttered shut. Yours did, too. A soft hum vibrated in your throat when she deepened the kiss, drinking you in like the succubus she was. Your hands cradled her face, fingers threading into her hair as you tilted your head, surrendering to her. Her tongue crashed against yours, teasing, chasing, until she caught the very tip between her teeth, giving the lightest, most maddening nip. 

You couldn’t help the faint little chuckle that slipped past your lips, one she promptly reciprocated. “You’re being unfair now,” you whined, before laying your forehead against hers. “I– we can’t do this now.”

A flicker of amusement danced in her gaze, as she inhaled deeply in your scent, “I know, but perhaps when the night falls–” her breath was hot on your skin. 

You nodded way too quickly. “I’d like that,” your voice came out hoarse, “please,” you added eagerly. 

Agatha smiled against your lips, her fingers still tapping at your hips. “Such a good baby girl for me,” she closed the distance between you one more time to give you a gentle peck on your lips. She used that pet name on purpose, knowing the things it did to you, especially in such intimate contexts. 

“Ags–” you whined, but before you could say anything else, a sound came to your ears. It felt like a crunch in the grass that interrupted, gladly or less so, it depends on how you see it– the moment between you and Agatha. You three turned, but not at the same time. Nicky had noticed a slight movement coming from a point in the distance, a glimpse of a green cloak, one vaguely familiar to him. 

Before you and Agatha could tell him to wait, he trotted in that direction. 

Rio could have disappeared. With a snap of her fingers, she could have. She should have. But what was the point? She was never a coward and she clearly wouldn’t start now. For once, in centuries, Lady Death felt like she needed the contact– a physical one. Looking at her family in the eye, and enjoying a glimpse of normality she always wished for herself. So she stayed. 

She came out of her hiding spot, and took her hoodie off, a soft smile tugging at her lips. 

You and Agatha froze, eyes widening but for different reasons. 

Nicky’s face lit up as he ran to her. “Rio! It’s you!” 

With a chuckle, she caught him in her arms, and buried her face into his hair, while he nuzzled underneath her chin, “my dear– It’s so good to see you.” 

For a moment, time itself seemed to hesitate. It was as if Death and the very essence of Life had met halfway. It felt so right. Rio and Nicky there, together. Your eyes watered, a single tear slipped down your cheek but you wiped at it before it could wet your chin. 

Beside you, Agatha tensed up, her magic flickering at her fingertips. One wrong word, one bad movement and you knew she would have snapped. Her magic stilled when you reached out and curled your fingers around hers. She looked at you, brows furrowing, a plea in her eyes. She was conflicted, you knew that. Honestly, who better than you could, after everything you went through?

“Don’t– she’s not here to hurt him,” you reassured her, voice soft and kind.

“Moms!” Nicky called out, as Lady Death pulled him down, ever so gently.  His hand in hers as he dragged her towards you and Agatha. “It’s her! She’s the woman I told you about! I found her!” 

He looked so happy, your heart swelled. When he let go of her hand, he ran to you and pulled at your clothes, barely containing himself. 

Rio didn’t say anything, she waited for you and Agatha to do so first. 

“Rio,” saying her name felt like finally taking a breath after being underwater for ages. 

She turned, hazel eyes bore into yours with such a raw intensity, you felt the need to get even closer. She looked at Agatha too, with the same love and… what you thought being regret. Guilt gnawed at you as you did, memories of your last encounter came back to you like a hurricane. You had treated her unfairly, let yourself be fuelled by harshness– so deeply foreign to your person and pushed her away. 

“I’m sorry for-”

“I need to apologize for–”

Realizing you had talked at the same time, a soft laugh slipped past your lips. She smiled, instead, eyes flickering towards Agatha, catching the moment she started nibbling the inside of her cheek. You caught a gentle blush coloring Rio’s cheeks, when she turned to you once again and your expression softened even more. 

“You first,” Rio muttered softly. 

You rubbed at Nicky’s back, still clung to your side before speaking, “I shouldn’t have said those things,” you started, your voice barely above a murmur. “And I’m sorry I’ve been cruel to you. I regret pushing you away… it was selfish– you were as scared as Agatha and I were and–” you swallowed a lump in your throat getting bigger and bigger.

Rio’s face fell, her brows furrowing. “No, no, shhh, it’s okay–” She was quick to cut the distance between you. “

Nicky looked up at you, a pout forming on his face, recognizing you were this close to crying. “Mama–?”

You inhaled a deep shaky breath. Your eyes flickered to him, “it’s okay, my love,” you smiled, softly but sincerely. “I’m just– emotional. I’m okay.”

It wasn’t a complete lie, because you indeed were. However, there was more to it: things you weren’t ready to confess to your son. 

The sight of your lip quivering, only caused Rio’s heart to feel heavier. Agatha wasn’t doing much better, but she resisted, she had to. With one hand atop Nicky’s shoulder, she kept the other in yours, thumb gently tickling your palm as a way to reassure you. 

“I never blamed you for a second. Not you, Agatha…” A bitter smile ghosted her lips as she shrugged. “What other choice did you have?” she murmured.

It was your turn to furrow your eyebrows. 

“You had no choice either–” you croaked out. 

“Yeah, I s’pose.” Rio pursed her lips, trying to offer a smile, but it wavered, tilting into something closer to a grimace. “It’s okay now. No hard feelings,” her attempt at teasing worked quite well, because you chuckled. Weak, quiet, but real. And for a moment, the world seemed to slow. The ache remained, but it was softer now, dulled just enough to breathe. 

Agatha scoffed. She knew the pull Rio had on you, knew it because she felt it too. But unlike you, she couldn’t let herself be swayed. She needed more time, proof that it was safe to let the guard down now. No catches. No hidden prices to pay. She wanted to ask, she wanted Rio to be straightforward about her intentions, but sadly that was not the right moment, not with Nicky listening to the conversation. 

When Rio reached out a hand towards Agatha, she whimpered without meaning to. The image of the four of you gathered so closely– closer than ever before, was a lot even for her. She hated how she loved it. She hated how much it terrified her: to be shown something she wasn’t sure she could keep for herself, for Nicky and for you. She swallowed, blue eyes boring into hazel ones, searching, digging deep, trying to find clues, anything, pleading even. 

"I know this is hard for you– I see you trying, and I appreciate it. Truly." Rio said, her voice thick with emotion. You smiled at Agatha, it was encouraging, lovingly. "What you’ve done here—” Rio’s eyes flickered to Nicky, then. Her hand grazed at his cheek. “It’s nothing short of a miracle. And I couldn’t be prouder."

Agatha could have answered with one of her usual bitter remarks, but decided against it. 

Instead, she shot you a teasing look and said, “she did all the work, but insists on giving me the credit, too.”

An amused scoff slipped past your lips, as you rolled your eyes. “We talked about this, Ags–” 

“No kidding,” her remark caused Rio to barely stifle a chuckle. 

“Wait–” Nicky, his brows furrowed, mind racing, found himself bubbling with a very important question, his mouth parted, before he finally asked, “so, you do know each other?” 

A watery chuckle slipped past your lips, as you nodded. Agatha’s smile grew and so did Rio’s. Of course he would have noticed by now, considering you and Rio were talking as if there was a history and indeed there was one. There was no point in lying on that part now, wasn’t there?

“Yeah–” you confirmed, with your hand resting atop his shoulder. “Guess we know the same Rio after all–” 

“What were the odds, huh?” Agatha added, her gruff voice taking on a note of fondness. 

“There aren’t many like me,” Death teased lightly. 

Agatha folded her arms to her chest, “thank the stars for that–”

You shot her a playful elbow, despite knowing full well there was no real bite behind her remark. And Rio– she, too, knew better than to take offense. Agatha and you noticed the way she tried to hide her amusement, by pressing her tongue against her cheek. A thing of hers. 

Nicky grinned. In his perspective, this coincidence only made things easier for you to get along. “My moms and I were looking for you.” 

Lady Death frowned at his words. “Oh?” Her tone held a note of surprise, though she stopped herself from asking why. She had a feeling you’d give her the answer soon enough.

Nicky glanced up at you, as if searching for the right words. His wish was simple: he wanted Rio to be with you all. And while you knew it wasn’t that easy, that it couldn’t fully happen, not when Rio’s duty was unlike any other, you still hoped to find a compromise. 

And as for Agatha– she wasn’t sure what scared her more. The fact that Rio might actually stay, or the possibility of another betrayal coming from her. Because unlike you, she didn’t forget. She wasn’t even sure you did, to be honest. Perhaps you simply pushed the thought aside because you were desperate for some peace and quiet. Some normalcy in your life. And quite frankly, how could she blame you for wishing such a simple thing? 

Rio had mentioned a price to pay that night. So if you wanted to let your guard down, then fine, she would have to be the one with a clear head, ready to have your back. To fight, if necessary. 

When you spoke, Rio’s heart clenched in a way that almost hurt.

“We were hoping you’d… tag along,” you murmured, so softly you weren’t even sure she heard.

But Rio did. And it stole the breath from her lungs. Not that it could kill her– but it almost felt like it. She looked at Agatha for further confirmation, only to find her nodding at your words. 

“I know you’re busy,” you continued, hesitating, your fingers curling slightly at your sides, as a way to cope with your own jitters. Because yes– there was the possibility that your request would be denied. That your hope would burn out as easily as it came to  light. “I know your job is part of who you are, but—” You turned, searching for Agatha’s eyes and your heart pounded even faster when she looked at you in a way that made you feel seen and protected. “But you’re also needed here,” you pressed on, your voice steadier now. “With us. You’re not just your job, Rio. And I hope you know… you’re so much more.”

Rio didn’t say a word, she couldn’t trust her own voice yet. She had shown up with a purpose, one certainly less flattering than yours. She curled her fingers into fists, and inhaled. She almost thought the Fates did this to her, manipulated yours and Agatha’s mind into asking her such a thing. And quite frankly it wouldn’t surprise her if that was true. Only to make her suffer more. Only to make her task even more impossible to be carried out. 

“I–” she hesitated. She wanted this. She really did. 

Nicky tugged at her cloak, with adorable impatience. “Please–” he half whined. “There’s no need to hide. No need to meet in secret anymore. We can be your family–” The way he said that, with such simplicity, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, affected you three at the same time and with the same force. 

You, Agatha, Rio and Nicky. A family. A real family. 

You reached out, cupped her cheek and stroked her skin ever so gently. “What do you say? Want to give it a try?” 

She leaned in, lips a few millimeters from your face, eyes staring at your lips. She loved your hope. And she would absolutely hate it to be the one taking it from you. 

To her surprise, Agatha drew closer, too. Gently, almost absentmindedly, she reached out, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Rio’s ear. And for the first time in a while, she allowed herself to truly look at her, not as the witch, and even less as Lady Death. But as the woman beneath it all, who never truly stopped, not even once to be hers and yours. 

“Make it right,” she added, and before you and Rio could ask her what she meant by that, she continued, “for us and for you. Just– for the love of the gods, make the right choice,” she finished, her voice barely above a whisper held a pinch of urgency.

Rio let out a quiet scoff, her smile touched with something almost amused—almost, but not quite. The right choice, she said.  She had made choices before, choices that defied fate itself. And if she had to do it again—if it meant giving you all something, even if just for a little while—then to hell with it. Her hands were still tied, but she could live with that a little longer. 

Her gaze flickered to Nicky, something unreadable passing through her eyes. She knew– Hell, she knew this choice would break her. But it wasn’t just about her. It never was. You all needed this. 

So she made up her mind, by offering you the same thing she once did.

“I’d very much like that.” 

Time. She could only offer time. 

“That means–?” Agatha began, head lolling to the side, suspicion warring with hope in her eyes.

“That I’ll stay.” She confirmed, her voice trembling as tears welled, faster than she could blink them away. “If you all will have me.” 

You smiled. Nicky cheered. Agatha swallowed hard, then nodded. The answer to that couldn’t be clearer.

[sylver-drawer]

Rereading wmmap for the hell of it and things that further add evidence onto novel Ijekiel’s behavior towards Jennette being a result of HIS OWN expectations he held himself to, when Athy/Lee Jihye falls into him for their first meeting, and then hides because Roger approaches. Roger then talks to a young Ijekiel, and Ijekiel says how he was looking for Jennette because Jennette got upset and ran out of the mansion due to hearing about Ijekiel studying abroad.

BUT THEN. Roger tells Ijekiel that he doesn’t need to deal with Jennette’s tantrums! Because though Jennette is important, Roger tells Ijekiel that he holds Ijekiel more important than her! Ijekiel knew then—from a childhood age that he never needed to look after Jennette or obey her requests. Roger never held that expectation on him. The only one holding him to the responsibility of ‘looking after Jennette’ was Ijekiel himself! It became such a thing that he bound himself to, so much so he dreaded it though no one but he wanted such, not even Jennette herself! Yet he dared, dared to push and blame that on her, that it was her fault and her selfishness that crushed him and made him resent her so—but it was himself all along! He was never actually bound to her, never actually pressured into taking care of or obeying her. It was a role he forced himself into taking, and blamed Jennette for the moment his resentment and jealousy bottled up and bursted!

[dottoreandcapitanosimp]

Apollo with Sadistic! Goddess! Reader. The Reader is actually Goddess of Deadliness, Danger, and Torment. Much Nyarlathotep(I’m not sure if you don’t know H.P. Lovecraft), Reader causes so much pain and suffering to mortals for fun. However, Zeus was protecting Apollo and attempting to keep him away from her.

OMG I LOVE THIS! Unfortunately I don't know LoveCraft! But maybe what if we add a reader who is an extreme Yandere to Apollo and on top of that, like Zeus didn't like Reader but Hera loved Reader and supported the marriage?

You and Apollo met at one of the great feasts of Olympus, with you being one of Hades' daughters with a nymph from the underworld (he wasn't yet married to Persephone when you were born). You were close to Artemis, after all you tortured any man who gave to do anything to her devotees and she usually helped you. While you were talking to Artemis, Apollo was just going to disturb his sister, but when he saw you he just had his mouth open and it looked like Eros had shot one of the arrows at him (poor Eros was blamed for this later as he was more busy pampering Psyche, after all they were newly married). Apollo simply fell madly in love within seconds.

Over the next few days, Artemis just couldn't take Apollo nagging her about you anymore, telling her how beautiful you were and stuff like that. Artemis then lost her patience and finally arranged a meeting between the two, after all, without Apollo's knowledge you were simply obsessed with him.

The meeting was something simple, in one of Apollo's temples you had tea while you talked, and if he wasn't in love with you enough before, now the whole of Olympus knew about his passion for you.

You lived mostly in the underworld , tormenting the poor souls who had been horrible in their lives, and if before Hermes almost never went to the underworld, the motorcycle courier from Olympus now knew the place like the back of his hand, after all Apollo and you exchanged small gifts and correspondence all day long. whole.

You were smart enough to know that if you wanted to have a chance of marrying Apollo, you needed Hera's blessing. One day while Zeus was once again cheating on Hera with some mortal, nymph or goddess, you came out of the underworld and went to talk to the Queen of Olympus (your future mother-in-law as you loved to call her). Hera simply adored you, because after all you were one of the goddesses who tortured men who cheated on their wives, and you were also one of the only goddesses who, although they did not have a vow of chastity, did not sleep with any man out of lust.

In less than two weeks, you and Apollo were already married, and that's when Zeus started to have a slight dislike for you.

Apollo used to be a copy of Zeus, having sex and flirting with anything that moved, but now the problem wasn't that he was faithful and in love, but rather how you did it. You threatened to leave Apollo, you would kill any supposed lover and mainly, you made him turn against anyone who doubted you (except Hera and Artemis, after all they basically never said anything about you because they both loved you). you.) once, Zeus just said that you should get used to Apollo cheating on you, and the next day Apollo was just furious with him, and that's when he started hating you.

HEADCANONS!

- Apollo loves you to bits, and although sometimes he knows he's being manipulated, he simply ignores it completely.

- Apollo's gifts range from jewelry to flowers to love letters.

- You spent two months on your honeymoon, and believe me, you two only stopped doing the act twice during these two months.

- Apollo doesn't stop talking about you for a second, and in the beginning it was even worse because Athena was already joining Ares to tell him to shut up. - Hades has the same hatred that Zeus has for you, but for Apollo, after all he finds him an insufferable playboy.

- You and Zeus sometimes have big arguments, in which you always play the victim, and while Apollo and Artemis blindly believe in you, Hera knows that you are lying but simply supports it.

Sorry if it wasn't as good as you thought! Please send me more ideas If you like It

[monayen]

Hey!!! HI!!! YOUR FANFICS ARE SO GOOD AACK

Can we (the starved) please have a Nyen dating hcs?? The reader can also be Luther's pet hshshshshs I'm literally going insane godd I'm so sorry Nyen's just so... So fucking fine..

Dating headcannons | Nyen

➷ Paring - Nyen x Fem!Reader [Randal's Friends / Ranfren]

➷ CWs - degradation, sadism, biting/marking, blood kink, predator/prey kink, mentions of killing, hes bad at emotions okay

a/n - trying to figure out how i want to format hcs so ignore that this looks different than the luther dating hcs. please. anyhoots whos dating hcs should i start doing next >.>

Hates you a little (probably)

Not in the “wants make you suffer and kill you” type of way he usually hates, but rather the “why do you make me feel this way?” type

How you make his cheeks redden and his palms sweaty, sharp nails digging into his own skin in overwhelming nervousness. It makes him feel weird, no matter how hard he tries to hide it

To care for someone other than his master, especially just a weak, pathetic pet like you… Nyen thinks in turn it makes him weak and pathetic

Knows loyalty from Luther. Knows satisfaction and pleasure from killing. But genuine love? It made him want to tear his heart out just to stop it from beating so fast when he sees you

The romance manga Randal gifted him hadn’t prepared him at all. He's reread them and reread them in an attempt to understand how he should feel but he still needed time to wrap his head around the reality of being in a relationship

Did feel like he needed permission from his master to be with you. Thankfully, Luther was happy (how cute!) as long as it didn't affect his pet duties. Nyen doesn't know what he would've done if Luther said no.

Doesn't like terms like boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, you're just his.

Calls you baby or sweetheart. Some pet names you’d hear a trashy construction worker catcall a woman down the street with. His gruff voice doesn't help

Doesn't really care what you call him as long as it isn't sickly sweet… does have the smallest thing for being called sir… but only in private!

He most likely wouldn't act much like a good boyfriend in front of people. Sorry, his own pride is just too high to look all lovey-dovey in front of others

Basically the embodiment of “he's just bullying you because he likes you!” you’d get from an adult when a boy would torment you in school. Except he actually does like you. Weirdo Nyen’s more comfortable when it’s just you, which means he doesn't feel the need to be brooding and scary in private

Loves to lay on your lap and have his head pet while he reads or watches television like the catman he is. Eventually falls asleep after some time so don't dare move.

Schedule tends to be the same, he's not all about change. His day consists of doing what Luther tells him, working out, and watching out for pests or danger

Still about the same since you guys have been together, but he tries include you in his day as much as possible

It can be nice, like him wanting you to watch him workout. Making sure to show off his abs and biceps… acts like he doesn't do it on purpose for you to oogle at

Nonchalantly boasts about how he can pick you up with ease, no matter what you weigh

Has in fact proved it multiple times by carrying you around place to place

Wouldn't mind you exercising with him– but be careful. He's a harsh trainer, can and will push you until you're a sweaty, exhausted mess. Kinda turns him on…

Other times, he’ll drag you into more dangerous or scary situations just so he can protect you

You're his perfect damsel in distress, someone to run into his arms and hold closely

Actually wouldn’t let you be in real danger. But if he knows he can handle it, (which he can) he’s not opposed to your praise about how he’s saved you

On the opposite end, Nyen also enjoys playing hunting and chasing games with you. There are times when he has taken you to a nearby forest, releasing your hand where the evergreens are the thickest, and in his low voice, he says, “Run.”

He loves to focus on the scurry of leaves crunching beneath your feet, the sight of your figure trying to keep up ahead of him, and the sound of your rapid breathing as he gets closer and closer

Nyen pounces and catches you every single time, dark pupils dilated with pure adrenaline as he constrains you. Hours will pass before you’re home again

There's not many date-like activities Nyen is interested in doing. Nyen doesn’t care to plan them, you live together anyways!

But if you insist, a picnic is the go-to. Simple, outside of the house, and he gets to have as much beer and undercooked chicken as you can stuff into a basket

Can also take you out on late night drives. Speeding down long, tree lined roads as CD music blasts with a hand resting on your thigh. (Nice!)

Does go out of his way to hit any animal(man?) unfortunate enough to be on the road. If he manages, he’ll pull over and make you look at the mangled body with him (Not so nice.)

Lots of territorial behavior. Nyen loves to share his extra clothes or his cigs (if you smoke) so you’re smelling like him. It just connects you two together, without having to say a word

Speaking of territorial… marks a lot. Biting, scratching, hickies. Even bruises if he's extra rough

He doesn't let you hide them. Would probably explode if he caught you trying to cover them with makeup or clothes and end up punishing you by marking even more

Libido is very high. Didn't actually get much action before being with you, mostly jerking off after a successful kill

But with you? Practically at any chance, he will

Doesn't care if you haven't showered, shaved, or prepped in any way. Will always find you incredibly attractive and irresistible

Even if you have periods, he’ll still pin you against the wall and rub his cock against you. The blood turns him on baby!

Has a fantasy of you being covered in the blood of one of his victims while he fucks you. Maybe less of fantasy and more of a goal. One day…

Treats it like a game, pulling and teasing you beforehand. Nails dug into your hips, a low voice in your ear whispering about how you’ve been teasing him “like the slut you are”

Drags you away from whatever you're doing. Not sneaky or polite when he pins you against the closest surface available, the only gentleness being the steady growl of his voice. Nothing possibly can't be as important as the need to stuff his aching cock inside what's his

Has fucked you in every room besides his Master’s and Randal’s. Would just be too weird…

A sadist (duh), but cares about you feeling good too. Won't hurt you too bad, though his definition of what is too bad might be different from yours. He wants you alive and mostly conscious

Made an effort to learn proper aftercare and to be less selfish, as he never felt the need to before

Still uses too much teeth when giving head and offers you a lukewarm bottle of water after sex… but it's the thought that counts!

Has a bunk with Nyon and still makes you sleep with him. Problem tends to be that it's wayyyy too tiny for both of you. You’ve complained to him to ask Luther for a bigger and separate bed but he gruffly responded for you to shut up and let him spoon in peace

Kicks Nyon out of the room a lot so it could just be the two of you. It's almost childish, bitching and hissing if Nyon doesn't give up his space. Poor guy, he just wants to lay in bed and smoke :/

Bit of a night owl, doesn't actually need to sleep much yet he still likes to. but does so very late. You’ll only know he's in bed when he snores against your neck

Always awake first, he's got more important things to do than lay around in bed with you (as he claims)

Will come back a bit later and wake you up with a cup of the most bitter black coffee in a cheesy matching mug. Just as an apology for the scratch and bite marks leading between your thighs he gave you last night. Drink it all, it's rude if you don't :(

[venshichan]

So I was bored, last night, and had an idea–what if I wrote some oneshots in Disney AU's, Scum Villain/SVSSS Edition? So here I am now, sharing this au that I made!

(If I ever get the motivation, I will make an actual collection of this AU in AO3, but for now, I'll leave it here.)

Story prompt: In which MoShang stars as the main characters of the Cinderella AU: Shang Qinghua as Cinderella and Mobei Jun as the Crown Prince, where everyone is human and mortal.

The Prince and the Ham–Airplane

(A Cinderella-Inspired MoShang AU)

Shang Qinghua had long since accepted his fate as the most overworked, underappreciated, and unwilling servant in the household of Prime Minister Shen. If he had known that getting adopted by a wealthy family after being orphaned young meant this, he might have chosen the streets instead.

At least the streets wouldn’t have come with his “brothers”, Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan! While there were probably more horrible things than said brothers, he'd really rather choose to be away from them than be ordered to slave around all day!

Ever since his dearest Mother died, this random noble–who turned out to be Prime Minister Shen Qingqiu–picked him up from the streets, asking if he wants to be his son, telling him the privileges he'd get to enjoy if he agrees.

Blinded by the tempting luxury and comforts that a beggar wouldn't be able to have access to, Shang Qinghua immediately agreed.

(Well, anyone would agree to such a thing, of course! It was understandable that he would fall for such an obvious scam! Being an author who got transmigrated in some weird Cinderella au of PIDW doesn't mean he'd immediately be able to support himself, yes, even if he did write stories again for a living! Paper was expensive, and so were writing materials! Even having them published was hard! He was barely scraping by with the funds that he got from a half assed novel that he sold!)

Shang Qinghua should have known that there was a catch–such a deal was too good to be true! And why did he fall for such an obvious trick?! He was fooled to work for the Shen family, where he toiled and laboured as the only servant in the big assed mansion! Of course he's upset!

Now, this would have been fine and all, really, he could smile through the pain and the suffering while keeping a pleasantly smiling outward appearance….but did he have to actually be related to the bastard Shen Qingqiu?! No, wait, technically, he's the one who's the bastard that his ‘father’ sired.

What was this messed up au?! Three Shens?! Shen Jiu and Shen Qingqiu are the one and the same in PIDW, but somehow, it was different here!

Stupid au. Stupid plot. Why the hell was he even given a second chance in life when it's all shitty?! It doesn't help that the man had went from a warm, tenderly smiling man who told him he was his father, to a cold, uncaring one with an unsettling gaze always trained towards him whenever he'd get a glimpes of his bastard of a father!

It was all a facade! The bastard was two faced! Horrible, horrible man!

….To be fair, Shen Jiu mostly ignored him even if his words can be sharp, and unless he needed tea, but Shen Yuan? That little menace loved to torment him. He had a real talent for making Shang Qinghua’s life miserable, mostly by stealing his work and presenting it as his own. He even had the gall to act like he was the poor, hardworking one.

Which was why, when the royal decree announced a grand ball for the Crown Prince’s betrothal selection, Shang Qinghua laughed so hard he nearly dropped the dishes.

(Again, he doesn't get why the Shen siblings keep seeking him out! Like, if they hated him so much for being the bastard that their ‘Father’ had sired, why do they keep dragging him everywhere and talking to him?! Couldn’t they just‐well, ignore his existence? That wasn't even hard! Not to mention, he has a lot of chores to do, and no time for distractions.

Hell, he even does Prime Minister Shen's paperwork when he DOESN’T even need to do it! Why was he even doing this?! It wasn’t his job! He already has to make sure they have their meals–mind you, he wasn’t even a cook–and clean their big assed, useless mansion, do the laundry, garden, sew, and all those thankless shit! Wasn’t he supposed to live in comfort and luxury? Then why, oh why, was he here and doing all this?! He was practically a fucking slave! He wants out! The only reason why he hasn't left, is because Prime Minister Shen promised to pay him his wages, and YET he had received NOTHING.)

“You? Attending a royal ball?” he wheezed, looking at Shen Yuan, who was vainly fanning himself “What are you gonna do, charm your way into the prince’s heart?”

“I don’t need to charm him,” Shen Yuan sniffed. “It’s practically a given that I’ll win.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m me.”

Shang Qinghua gagged.

Shen Jiu, snorting softly as he began flipping through a book, muttered, “You’re delusional.”

Shen Yuan let an indignant squawk.

_____________________

Shang Qinghua, of course, was NOT invited to the ball. He was expected to stay home and scrub the floors–already done–while his dear brothers attended in their finest robes.

But fate (or possibly some very determined 'elderly' matchmakers) had other plans.

Just as he was about to collapse into his sad little cot for the night, the back door of the estate swung open, revealing a group of unfamiliar old ladies—wait, no. Those were definitely Qi Qingqi and Liu Mingyan wearing grandma clothes!

Shang Qinghua quickly sat up, staring in disbelief.

What were they even doing here?!

“Who—? What—?”

“No time to explain,” the one in front said, dragging him out by the sleeve–obviously Qi Qingqi. “You’re going to the ball.”

“What? No! I don’t want to go to the ball! I'm tired! I want to rest! I just had a full day, and you guys are NOT about to ruin it!”

“Nonsense,” The disguised Liu Mingyan declared. “It’s your destiny.”

“My destiny is to not die of exhaustion before I’m thirty, thanks.”

He replied flatly, flopping back down his cot, and throwing his blanket over his head with a grumble.

But they ignored him; they yanked off his favourite blankie–"Hey! How dare you–rude!”–pushed him off the bed, before shoving him into the most beautiful, royal blue robe that felt more expensive than his entire existence and thrusting a pair of glass shoes into his hands.

Shang Qinghua paled as he looked at them, his hands trembling a little.

“Oh Heavens–this really is a Cinderella AU?! The fuck am I supposed to do?! And is this glass?!” He muttered in horror and anxiety.

The ‘old’ women ignored the first part of what he said: A-Hua had always been that way, saying such silly, and weird things.

“We don’t have any other shoes other than glass, A-Hua.”

“Why would I want to use glass shoes?! I'd break these before I even make it to the castle!” Shang Qinghua wailed. “I have normal ones!”

“A-Hua....no way in hell are you wearing those things you call shoes. Don't be silly! We don't approve of it!”

“I just wanted to stay at home,read my books, and write stories! No! Let me go! I don't wanna go to the ball! I just want to rest, dammit! The Shens will kill me if I go!”

The ladies did not dignify that with a response before hauling him into a carriage and sending him off to the palace.

_____________________

Prince Mobei Jun was bored.

The entire ballroom was filled with noblewomen (and some noblemen) desperately throwing themselves at him. And for what? His title? His wealth? His face?

Okay, fine, the face he could understand. He knew he was good looking, he wasn’t stupid–his mother kept telling him how good looking he was. But still.

He was just about to escape when someone stumbled–not even elegantly or gracefully–into the ballroom.

The entire hall turned silent for a few moments as all turned to watch the slightly –but artfully–disheveled, beautiful man stumbled inside, looking wildly out of place in the elegant ball with his jittery energy. He nearly faceplanted before catching himself on a passing noblewoman’s sleeve, who shrieked and flung him off.

‘Oh, what an adorable, pretty little thing….’

Mobei Jun stared.

Those were his signature colours. Blue and silver were his colour, everyone knew that, hence they would sometimes dress up in robes that were in his colours, just to catch his attention.

It never fit any of them, really.

And yet…here was this adorable creature, donning his colours,wearing the most beautiful robes that made him look unreal in an ethereal sense–and it just fits him well! As if…as if he was meant to wear his colours alone.

…As if he was meant to be Mobei Jun’s.

The thought made Mobei Jun shiver, his stare intensifying.

Shang Qinghua, still trying to figure out where exactly in the nine layers of hell he had ended up, looked up—and locked eyes with the prince.

“Oh,” he whimpered, shrinking into himself at the very tall, tall man. “Oh no.”

‘What an oddly adorable man….pretty….’ The prince couldn’t help but admire him as he found himself in front of the shorter man.

He ignored the gasps around him, his attention, fully focused on this fascinating man.

Mobei Jun, intrigued, strode forward. “Who are you?”

Shang Qinghua’s brain short-circuited. He could not–could not let Shen Yuan or Shen Jiu or worse–Shen Qingqiu, recognize him!

“I—” he blurted, “—am Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky.”

Shang Qinghua despaired–of course he was dumb enough to share his author name to the other! Dumb, dumb, dumb!

Mobei Jun frowned.

‘A strange name from an equally strange man. Why is it that long? Even nobles don't have such a long name. Even I don’t have a long name like that.’

“…Your name is Airplane?”

Shang Qinghua internally screamed. “Yes.”

Mobei Jun, for some reason, seemed even more interested in this odd man who seemed to remind him of his pet hamster in his childhood.

He was small, pretty, and adorable. Mobei Jun, for the first time in his life, found something he truly wanted. (That is, after all those years of being sad at the loss of his dearest Mother and his hamster. Those were his only dear ones, really.)

“Dance with me.” He all but demanded the nervous shorter man.

“What?! Me?! I can't dance!”

“Dance with me.”

“O-okay!”

Shang Qinghua didn’t have a single graceful bone in his body, but he wasn’t about to die in front of an entire royal court. So he let Mobei Jun pull him onto the dance floor, where he stepped on the prince’s foot exactly three times, wincing fearfully, as if expecting to be punished for it or scolded.

Mobei Jun didn’t let go.

This was bad. The prince was his type.

And because the prince was actually… kind of nice? Not to mention, kind and hot. And Shang Qinghua had never been the main character before, never been with a guy like this, never held hands like this.

He had never even been with a guy before, as he died a lonely, virgin man who never even got to experience dating someone, or even being loved or falling in love.

Instead, he wrote a story where his perfect man, his ideal man exists, which was in the story of PIDW– and in this weird Cinderalla AU, said man exists in it too!

Shang Qinghua could never believe his luck! And he gets to dance with him, even if he was horrible at it and even if he was a nervous ball of jittery mess.

But he knew, he could never be with this man. He was ugly, and he was just the hated bastard of the Shen family. He had no power–nothing to his name, nothing to offer other than his,say, intellect that paled in comparison with the Shens….there was no way the prince would look his way, so really, despite his pleasure at being able to get a closer look at this enchanting and beautiful man, it was an unreachable dream.

Just as he was pondering over this, he felt an intense gaze on him.

Then, across the ballroom, he saw Shen Jiu staring at him, eyes narrowing in suspicion, as was Shen Yuan–not in recognition yet, as they were likely trying to figure out who he is still.

“Shit.”

“What?” Mobei Jun asked.

“I-I gotta go!”

“No.”

Mobei Jun tightened his grip on both the hand that he held, and his hand that rested on Airplane's waist as the other struggled to leave.

“I really must go! Sorry, not sorry, My King!”

And just like that, with a sudden burst of strength, Shang Qinghua bolted.

_____________________

Mobei Jun was irritated.

No one had ever run away from him before.

…Unless, well, you counted all those times that he chased people off his castle, nobles be damned–they were too annoying and all of them scheme too much.

He can practically smell their filthy plans from more than a mile away.

Let it be said that he was never the type of prince that women dreamed of. He was charming, but never friendly. He was polite, but never warm. He was always cold and politely stiff with everyone, and never trusted them.

Everyone is suspicious to him–unless they were Shen Jiu, the Prime Minister Shen's son–who was at least open about what he wants whenever he conducted a business with Mobei Jun, or whenever he wanted a deal made, even if he was sly and liked to scheme just to get what he wants.

(He was still under investigation, of course. Mobei Jun would be a fool to fully ignore a possible threat.)

The next morning, when his guards brought him a shoe they found on the steps, he barely spared it a glance before ordering them to search the entire kingdom.

They are to look for him, even if it takes a long time.

He wasn’t looking for a shoe’s owner.

He was looking for Airplane.

_____________________

Meanwhile, Shang Qinghua had just finished scrubbing the floor when the front doors slammed open.

A line of royal guards stepped in, led by none other than Crown Prince Mobei Jun himself.

Shang Qinghua choked:both from shock at seeing them and mild outrage at the fact that–

“I just cleaned the floors! Stop! Noo! Don't step in any further!”

He shrieked, but alas, he was ignored–and now his beautiful, newly cleaned floors, was now sullied by boot prints caked with dirt and mud. Shang Qinghua groaned, watching in despair as his hard work went to waste.

(It's been a month since he last saw the handsome prince–he was still infuriatingly good looking, it was unfair!)

Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan, perfectly dressed as always–they came down the second floor after hearing the commotion.

Shen Qingqiu, their bastard father, immediately stepped forward.

“Your Highness, the Crown Prince,” Shen Qingqiu said, smiling. “You’re looking for—”

Mobei Jun ignored him and walked right past him to get to a certain hamster, leaving him gobsmacked Prime Minister.

“Airplane.”

Shen Yuan felt his brows shot upwards at the name, as did Shen Jiu: both of them turned to look at Shang Qinghua.

Shang Qinghua, himself, swore his soul left his body.

“Ahahaha, never heard of him!” He nervously exclaimed, stepping back and away from the tall prince. His ‘father’ was quick to step in between them, from behind Shang Qinghua, smiling.

“As my son had said, there is no one matching the description. Perhaps you mistook the…pretty gentlemen that you met, for my son? It is understandable, my son has similar features as the gentleman from last night.”

Shang Qinghua sweated cold sweat as he felt Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu glaring at him, and he trembled in his shoes.

Mobei Jun raised an eyebrow. “You left your shoe.”

“That could be anyone’s shoe.”

Mobei Jun took one step forward, looming over him.

“Put it on.”

Shang Qinghua looked around for an escape. “Listen, do we have to—”

Mobei Jun bent down and, without a word, grabbed onto the current one that Shang Qinghua was wearing–who yelped in surprise at the action and the fact that the prince took it upon himself to do it–then threw the sorry excuse of a shoe over his shoulder, only to replace it with the glass one, and slid the shoe onto his foot.

The entire room went silent.

Shen Yuan gawked. Shen Jiu sighed and muttered, “Finally, some peace.”

While Shen Qingqiu made an outraged growl and some protests.

"Your Highness, that is impossible! He is not–he will not be–!"

"I decide what I will, or won't do. Who are you to order the Crown Prince around? Guards–seize the criminal."

"Your Highness?! What did I do?!" Shen Qingqiu wailed and protested.

"My dearest subjects, Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan have reported to me about your nefarious plans and lecherous motives towards your own son, Shang Qinghua. As well as the selling of your kingdom's national secrets to it's enemies–for that, you are to be executed tonight."

"Your Highness! It's all a lie! I was framed! Please!"

Mobei Jun ignored him as the now ex- Prime Minister was dragged kicking and screaming away from the Shen Manor.

Strangely enough, Shen Jiu had a glint of cold satisfaction in his eyes, and Shen Yuan looked relieved.

Mobei Jun straightened, turning to Shang Qinghua. “You’re coming with me.”

“Wait, wait, wait—”

But Mobei Jun had already picked him up, carrying him out of the mansion like a sack of rice.

Shang Qinghua, flailing, groaned. “This is not how it’s supposed to go!”

Mobei Jun hummed. “I disagree.”

“Put me down!”

“No.”

“Why are you even doing this?!”

Mobei Jun smirked. “I like you.”

Shang Qinghua stared at him.

Then, with all the dignity of a man who had just lost a battle he didn’t even know he was fighting, he groaned and let his head drop onto the prince’s shoulder.

“…Fine.”

Mobei Jun nodded, satisfied.

And just like that, they rode off into the sunset.

_____________________

Extra:

“You want me to what?”

Mobei Jun's eyebrows almost flew up to his hairline.

A snap of a fan against an open palm.

“Get rid of my Father. Clearly, he is suspicious; he is a slimy traitor, and must be apprehended.”

Shen Jiu calmly stated, walking around slowly in the meeting room.

“You would betray your Father? On what grounds? And pray tell, why would I willingly do such a thing?”

Mobei Jun, crossed his arms, leaning back against his plush chair as Shen Jiu circled back towards him.

“He has been sneaking around, leaking the secrets of the kingdom to its enemies. Surely, that should be enough,no? And if you wanted proof, then you have them resting before you on the table.”

“.....What is it that you seek to achieve by informing me of all these?”

“The deal will not be one-sided. You have been looking for a month, yet you still have not found your beloved mystery future consort. If you appoint me to be the Prime Minister by getting rid of my Father, I will get rid of all spies and enemies that you have– then I will tell you the identity of your beloved, as well as his location.”

Mobei Jun quickly stood up from his chair at that, slamming his palms on the table and sending papers flying. He glared at Shen Jiu, who evenly glared back at him, returning the challenge.

“Where.”

“Be at ease, Your Highness. I am not here to threaten you–”

“Stop dawdling and do not lie. Where is he?”

Snap!

"..."

Shen Jiu flicked his fan open with a loud snap, gazing at him with a calculating gaze, his sharp dark eyes searching him.

“....At the Shen Manor. Shang Qinghua...he is my half brother. Shen Yuan and I have worked hard for years to keep our lecherous Father's hands off of him, and any other slimy beings. If you plan to marry him, I demand that you will not hurt him. Shang Qinghua's mother had entrusted him to us, long before he met Father, and I will not betray her trust. A-Hua is…dense. He thinks we are bullying him, but we are, in fact, hiding him away from Father as much as we could. Father was…obsessed with A-Hua's mother, hence the reason he will act in the same way towards him. A-Yuan and I had to pretend that we're always bullying A-Hua, just to keep getting in Father's way. If….you plan to marry him, you must make sure my Father is executed before you wed A-Hua. He will attempt to ruin things if he is not executed.”

“....”

There was silence as Mobei Jun contemplated this. To be fair, he had thought that those rumours of the Shen Twins being terrible were true: he had never heard of Shang Qinghua, only that Prime Minister Shen Qingqiu had taken in a bastard that he had sired with a merchant's daughter after said daughter died, and did not pay attention to it anymore.

While it was normal for nobles to shun and bully any bastards that their fathers have, it was rumoured that the Shen Twins were even more cruel of their treatment towards the new addition to the family, so everyone somehow pitied the new sibling, even if he was a bastard.

…Now he knew, the Shen Twins were just being protective of their kin–even if said kin has only half of their blood–and were actually honourable. The two really were geniuses.

“...Very well. Your father will be arrested on the very same day I arrive at your doorstep, then executed in the evening.”

Shen Jiu grinned widely, fan lowered slightly.

“Excellent. A pleasure doing business with you, Your Highness, Crown Prince Mobei Jun~.”

Shen Jiu all but purred, pleased.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Should I do another version with the roles reverse? 🤔

[verecunda]

I personally see that "torture" conversation again as gaslighting from Annatars side, to be honest. Because (I double checked again to make sure i am not mistaken) "Never in Tolkien's lore does Morgoth torture Sauron. Some moments could imply such an act, such as in The Silmarillion where it is mentioned that Morgoth would have, if victorious, destroyed even the beings that followed him" - So to me it has that even ... Crueler twist of Annatar just trying to gaslight Celebrimbor again. Maybe that is just me though! And maybe in the series Morgoth really did unimaginable to Mairon. WHO KNOWS

Hi, Anon! This got long-winded, so bear with me here. XD

That is certainly a viable reading of the scene, and I definitely think we should never take Sauron at his word because, well, he’s Sauron. But honestly, I think it’s much more interesting, much more horrifying, if he is being honest here.

First, to get the lore stuff out of the way: agreed, nowhere in the books are we told Morgoth ever tortured him. But at the same time, we’re never told he didn’t. Sauron was obviously his most valuable and trusted servant, but he still was that - a servant, an underling, subject to his master’s caprices. And we don’t have any scenes of them interacting directly that allow us to gauge their relationship; we just have a handful of references that can be extrapolated in multiple ways. (For full disclosure: I’m an enthusiastic Angbang shipper, and I tend to view their relationship as more or less positive, one of the only good things they have going for them, but I try to keep an open mind on what canon does/doesn’t tell me.)

Most notably, take the scene where Sauron is defeated by Lúthien and Huan. She tells him she’ll send his spirit back to Angband : “There everlastingly thy naked self shall endure the torment of his scorn, pierced by his eyes.” Whereupon Sauron flees, and we hear nothing more of him till after the War of Wrath. We don’t know anything that he does in the meantime; we don’t even know if he returns to Morgoth’s service (the Lay of Leithian does suggest it, but the published Silmarillion gives us nothing either way). Whether or not Morgoth would actually punish him for his failure is probably beside the point: the point is that Sauron clearly believes punishment is a likely outcome. There are other ways you could parse this bit (and I do have Feelings about it!!) but the most obvious reading is that it’s terror of his master’s likely response that sends Sauron into hiding. So overall, it’s an ambiguous scenario, but there is certainly room to interpret a darker take on their relationship, and even allowing for deliberate ambiguity, it does seem to me that the show creators have chosen to explore that darker take.

To return to this particular scene, I don’t think he’s trying to deceive Celebrimbor any more - now that his true identity is revealed, outright deception is no longer going to work, because why would Celebrimbor believe anything else he says? Better to reel him back in with the truth. In that scene, I think Sauron is actually trying to make him understand his grand vision for the “healing” of Middle-earth. We already know he believes that's what he's doing. I don’t think he views Celebrimbor as an equal, no way, but I think he does consider that Celebrimbor’s ambitions chime with his own.

But crucially, his failure here is that in baring his soul and talking about the genuine suffering he’s gone through, he inadvertently reveals just how warped and ultimately irredeemable his own mindset has become. We actually saw this first with Galadriel at the end of s1: Sauron reveals his relief at Morgoth’s defeat, his feeling that a “great, clenched fist” had been released from about his neck - yet just a couple of minutes after that, he repels her because he admits that he sees saving Middle-earth and ruling it as the same thing.

It’s the same in the tower scene. Revealing his torture by Morgoth does engage Celebrimbor’s sympathy, but he loses it almost at once when he starts talking about his pain being a triumph of his own willpower, then especially when he breaks out all the textbook abuser lines about how Celebrimbor has “forced” him to hurt and deceive him. I don't think he would have said all that if he was just lying. All that self-justification strikes me as the response of someone who has suffered, but has never found a healthy way to process any of it, and who has ultimately gone on to continue the cycle of abuse. And when Celebrimbor demolishes all these self-justifications - “You can deceive even yourself” - I think Sauron's expression there speaks volumes. That’s the look of a Maia who has just been hit where it hurts, because rather than being taken in, Celebrimbor has just confronted him with exactly how damaged and fucked up he really is.

[lightaflametoburnmethrough]

Suddenly dropping in with another lengthy post because I want to ramble about something before the year ends and it just so happens that I finished My Happy Marriage (私の幸せな結婚) recently which was so ✨GOOD✨

✨GOOD✨ as in the romance is actually well-written. It doesn’t just portray a couple in a way that revives your belief in love, it also gives respect to the characters within that relationship, too.

This is what advanced romance looks like, imo.

Not about the chase, not about the fluff, not about the angst, not about idealizations beyond our reach (although there are plenty of moments of those)…

It’s simply about a couple doing their best to navigate through a life they’ve chosen to spend together.

So warning for spoilers cuz no cut.

That’s right, no cut because it’s almost 2025 and we all have to raise and lock this in as an example to follow (cuz most people’s standards have been absolutely abysmal of late) 😤

The premise isn’t anything extraordinary. It’s very much like any Cinderella tale you’ve ever heard of where the heroine suffered abuse throughout her life at the hands of her toxic family. Then she meets Prince Charming, things change for the better, happily ever after happens, we pack up and go home.

Except it’s not quite like that for Miyo. Our heroine does not enter her engagement in a sparkling kimono with her beauty and virtue ready to dazzle her fiancé into falling head over heels in love with her. No, she comes into another house with the air of someone who has already been thoroughly defeated. So deeply broken by all the trauma she experienced growing up, Miyo has no hope for happiness despite the fact that she’s no longer living under the same roof as those who used to torment her every single day.

She is resigned to the thought that she can be disposed of at any time, even by her new husband-to-be, because she doesn’t have the bearing that a daughter of a reputable clan should have. Nor does she possess any Gift that noble families are looking for in a bride for the sake of continuing their bloodline (there is a supernatural element but it’s a narrative-supporting aspect, not the main focus).

Miyo has nothing but her old raggedy clothes, skills she acquired as a servant at her old home and mental scars that were never given the chance to heal.

She is no princess, no Cinderella or Ella. She is a pitiful pile of cinders, a poor young woman with nobody to rely on in this world.

And Kudou Kiyoka, her fiancé, is no Prince Charming either despite certainly having the looks of one.

Even for a military officer, he’s gained a reputation for being very strict, cold and harsh outside his job. However, before meeting Miyo, all his previous fiancées were only in it for the wealth and status attached to his family name so it’s no surprise why he’s so distrustful of Miyo at first.

But once he realizes that she’s not there to “poison” him, he quickly backpedals his initial behavior towards her. What’s remarkable is that he apologizes the very same day for his callous attitude rather than taking a long period of time to admit he was wrong because of some stupid pride.

And if that already tells you a lot about what kind of character he is, then what he does next for the remaining episodes will floor you.

Kiyoka soon deduces that there must be a reason why Miyo acts the way she does, why she has such crippling low self-esteem. He investigates her background and discovers how the Saimori family had been treating her this entire time ever since the death of her birth mother, causing him to feel anger on Miyo’s behalf. But he wisely chooses to keep that information to himself because he understands how much Miyo has been hurt already and doesn’t want to add more to her pain by revisiting her past.

He doesn’t force a confrontation from her. Instead, he does his best to help Miyo put distance away from anything related to her maiden clan. He buys her new clothes and accessories befitting of a person of her status, takes her out on dates when he has days off, tells her that she doesn’t have to constantly apologize for everything and encourages her to smile more.

Meanwhile, he confronts the Saimori family himself so that Miyo never has to. He lambasts her parents for their horrible abuse of Miyo and essentially cuts them off for it.

“You threw your own daughter away like trash, what right do you have to get any benefits from this marriage?”

Kiyoka wants everyone to know that Miyo is his fiancée now, that she is part of his family and he will do whatever it takes to protect her. Something her own blood relations should’ve done but failed to do.

But he also doesn’t leave without allowing room for possible amends. He demands that the Saimori family apologize to Miyo but he doesn’t use his powers or superior position to intimidate them into giving one because it would be meaningless if it wasn’t sincere.

All his words and actions are full of emotion for his fiancée but at the same time, they’re carefully thought out for what’s best for her sake as well.

Kiyoka wants justice for Miyo…but more than that, he wants her to heal and receive the happiness she deserves so he would never subject her to anything that could undermine that.

The way Kiyoka treats Miyo with such gentleness and understanding, gives great attention to her needs, doesn’t judge her for her circumstances and goes to many lengths to make sure she’s always in a safe environment, repeatedly reassuring her that she doesn’t have to be afraid anymore…

It fills my heart with…I want to say joy but I don’t think that word is enough to describe it.

I think there’s also an immense sense of relief and satisifaction mixed in as well. Because wow, FINALLY. An author who doesn’t only know how to write a good couple as a couple (and not a ship) but also knows how to properly address the topics of trauma and depression and not just mess with it before blowing it up for drama.

It shows through Kiyoka’s character and it’s exactly what makes him an effective love interest.

After all, when Miyo was thrust into this engagement, she was in no state to be a proper wife because the one who needed help and support was her.

And Kiyoka answered to that. He has a solid head on his shoulders, can balance his work and his home life and doesn’t dismiss feelings but doesn’t let them control him either. He is a person who is capable, who can be trusted to carry both their weights when his partner doesn’t have the strength to stand on her own.

“I know you’ve been through a lot but it’s okay now. I will take care of you so don’t hesitate to rely on me.”

And thanks to all his efforts, Miyo was able to become strong enough to escape the cage storehouse where her old, weak self was mentally trapped in.

Yea, her emotional scars will never fade because for a survivor, it’s impossible to forget those awful memories. She will still have her moments of doubts, fear and insecurities.

But the most important thing is that she knows she can overcome them now because she has someone she can fully trust by her side to help her get through them.

It’s amazing, watching Miyo transform from “I’m no good at anything so nothing matters” to “I want to improve, I want to get better” and believing she can.

She started taking lessons on how to be a lady because she wants to be a suitable match for her fiancé who’s done so much for her. She wants to be worthy of the love he’s shown her.

She learned to say “no” at the most pivotal moment because all her life, her evil stepmother and half-sister kept taking away the things that were important to her. But when they tried to force her to cancel her engagement to Kiyoka, she adamantly refused because the joy, comfort and security she found with him is too valuable to ever give up.

“I don’t want to lose this. I want to be his wife. I want to stay with him and be able to find happiness together.”

It’s no wonder Kiyoka is so taken with her, softened his heart and changed for her and will come running whenever he hears Miyo’s in trouble. He’s been through many engagements, each ending in failure because none of those marriage candidates wanted an actual marriage with him.

But Miyo…Miyo is genuine.

Just like how Kiyoka was willing to brush aside the ashes to reveal the beautiful her, Miyo melted through that icy exterior others only could see to cherish the real and incredibly warm him beyond it.

That’s why they work so great as a couple. They bring out the best in each other and their relationship is based on the people they respectively are, not the extras that come with.

Of course, even good couples are not immune to obstacles but during the one “fight” they had so far in the anime, you can tell that these two argue and get angry out of concern for each other.

Not because they’re not living up to expectations but because “I’m worried about you! Can’t you see that?”

For a pair who seem almost idyllic as them (it’s all the frequent flower imagery and yea I love it lol), communication is difficult as it is for anybody else. Miyo’s anxiety about needing to measure up resurfaced and Kiyoka misspoke, which made her cry and caused him to start having second thoughts if Miyo would truly be happy with him.

But none of that ever came close to ruining how they feel about each other. They still wanted to be together.

When Miyo’s maternal family came to claim her, Kiyoka loudly resisted giving up his fiancée (“Over my dead body, she’s my wife!”). Not even losing a duel and being forced to separate from Miyo could stop him from wanting to see her again so that he can try to reconcile her.

And whenever someone spoke badly of Kiyoka, trying to widen the rift that formed between them, Miyo would always be the first to defend him (“Don’t say that about my husband!”). The longer they were apart, the more she realized she had to return because she also didn’t want to be anywhere but with him.

Everybody who approached Kiyoka or Miyo wanted something out of them, whether it be Kiyoka’s high standing in society or Miyo’s suddenly emerging super rare power.

But for them, they just wanted each other.

“I chose you because only you can make me feel this way. No one else can take the special place I have for you in my heart.”

The reason why I call this “advanced romance” is because it’s a romance that explores the relationship after the couple get together.

Granted, it may not be considered normal from a modern perspective since it’s about an arranged marriage set in the Taishō era. But it still checks off a lot of the major points behind the idea of an established relationship, which is less common than narratives that emphasize the development before a pair of lovers become official.

Pre-relationship is fine and all, depending on what kind of story it is, but there’s a big difference in how both types present love. (Most? Some?) Pre-relationships make it seem like the hardest thing to do is confess and have your feelings reciprocated.

*shakes head* Uh-uh. Sorry, it ain’t. 🙂‍↔️

It’s keeping the relationship that is.

Because let’s be real here. Love is overrated.

It takes a lot of work and commitment for two people to stay together. Real love isn’t a shoujo fairytale where you’re set once the final chapter is done and sent to be published.

As a couple, you’re going to face so many challenges, some that will push you both to your limits where you might even consider breaking up. You will have fights, you will have disagreements because you are two separate individuals, after all. None of that “my better half” or “my (significant other) knows me better than I know myself” bullshit. You are two separate persons with your own respective personalities and ways of thinking, figuring out how to walk the same path together.

And even if you try your best not to get into any complications, life will laugh “aha, you thought, you dumb bitch” in your face and make things difficult for you anyway.

You’ll ask yourself repeatedly “Is this worth it? Am I making the right choice for us?” just like Miyo and Kiyoka did in episode 10.

The answer then is how much you’re willing to work for it.

To be honest, I don’t think there really is a right or wrong choice when you come to that crossroad because people aren’t omniscient so they have no way of knowing the absolute. They can only try their best to not let things end up in the worst state possible.

But if you love someone and treasure them as much as Miyo and Kiyoka love and cherish each other and want to be the best version of yourself that you can be when you’re with them…then it’s no longer an issue of being afraid of those hardships that come with the relationship.

You’d be afraid of the regret you’d feel when you look back and say “ah, I wish I stayed and tried”.

They (Miyo and Kiyoka 👆👆) are still trying. They’re so happy together but they are still doing whatever it takes to make it work between them and that’s what makes them a good couple.

Not ideal but good.

Good is doable, good is not impossible.

Good is what we need to be 👍

Alright, I’m done yapping but looking back through this post, I realized I also came a very far way from how I watched romance 20 years ago (lol my age is showing 😝).

And honestly, I’m happy for it. I’m glad that I grew older and matured a little and that my values evolved with time. I now understand why a lot of things in anime and manga no longer appeal to me (not as much as before, anyway) but on the other hand, I’ve gained a deeper appreciation for the series and characrers that I do manage to find resonance with.

My Happy Marriage is one of those.

So I highly recommend it if you’re looking for the same thing.

Second season is going to air in a week (January 6, don’t miss it 😉) so if you haven’t already, marathon the first season and the OVA.

That’s all, wishing everyone ✨GOOD✨ fortune ahead. See you in the new year! 👋😊

[astarionconsort]

Ascendant Astarion was driven by fear, but can you really blame him?

Okay so I just read the newest interview that mentioned Astarion reasoning behind his ascension was driven by fear and I thought it made sense?

Tho I don't believe that fear was the only force behind the reason of his decision to ascend, there's a longing to be alive again to enjoy everything that the world has to offer, the need for certainty and also to protect his loved ones (when he has a love interest)

But let's talk about this fear part, there are people (even the companions) who expected that 'he should have known better' or 'shouldnt even think about ascension' and sees this fear in the recent interview as something that is so horrid but here's the thing.

"You are right to be afraid." I mean DUH obviously it makes sense. Astarion lives in a very dangerous world where countless undead risen from their graves thanks to necromancer toying with life and death, there are bandits everywhere, monsters, evil gods who never failed to make life even more miserable than ever and even the supposedly good aligned god can be so awful at times, etc etc.

The party that he traveled with and himself were infected with worms that would eat their brain and transformed them into a living husk, the absolute cult and the dead three were on their tail, angry devils, Cazador wanted him back and not to mention the Githyanki and their lich queen wanted them dead as well for what happened with the prism

Even during act 3 where they were supposedly close to victory. The victory was not set in stone yet, nothing is certain and something could have gone wrong. They could have died or even worse!

Not to mention he's a man who was tormented for 200 hundred years. He was stripped of everything that he had and even his own reflection, reduced to catched rats to sustain himself.

Can you really blame him for wanting to seek a way out from Cazador's torment, the hunger for blood and the indignity that he suffered for so long?

Also it would be harder to convince him to not ascend if Tav or Durge romanced him. Because now he's not just afraid for his own safety and his future but also his lover. The only person whom he ever love and genuinely love him back in 200 years (also not ending up as a victim for Cazador)

Most people would have killed him when they found that he's a vampire and infected with an Illithid parasite. Most people would have abandoned him

Tav/Durge was the only light in his life after years of living in darkness and torment, you can't really blame him for wanting to keep this light from being snuffed out by untimely death

And if that means sacrificed 7000 souls that he already damned anyway (undead like vampire wouldn't be accepted by good aligned gods in the after life, not sure about evil gods but most deities most won't accept them) so be it

I don't see this fear behind his decision as something that is objectively awful? I mean it is a natural respond anyone would have if they were in his shoes

Then you might ask "If Astarion loves Tav or Durge that much why he insisted on turning them into a vampire? And break up if they refused?"

Because he was overwhelmed by his beating heart/ his renewed sense, the high from his power and he's also insecure. At that point in act 3 he expected Tav and Durge to stand by his side no matter what

Because they were the only person who didn't kill the parasite infested vampire spawn at the beach, who loves him anyway despite the face he was a man with nothing to his name, who were willing to sacrifice 7000 souls and killed the Gur for him!

Ascended Astarion didn't want THAT special person to be taken by early death or a fate worse than death

He needed the reassurance that his love would be safe and no gods nor fate will take them away

If they refused to be an immortal vampire then they were as good as sealed their fate to death. Astarion didn't want to face that heartbreak

The thing that I don't agree with the interview is that the interpretation that ascension sent him to a horrible place? It was kinda vague? Like worse place when? During or after the ascension? Because this cannot apply after the ascension since I have taken so many screenshot and recording of ascendant astarion and I didn't see him feeling miserable about his fate. He was happy that the hunger gone and he could see his reflection again

Post final battle? The epilogue? After the epilogue party? This cannot be applied to all people, all route, all Tav/Durge and Astarion in general because there's variations. I mean you might see ascended Astarion as a bit lonely because he doesn't end up with anyone but in my Tav's universe he has a consort who stay by his side and their relationship is still going strong because my Tav is aligned with him

[popawritter12]

I loved your yandere rain! Would I be able to request a yandere havik with a male reader?

Author's Notes: Let's not say that I do not paid a lot of attention to Havik during my "stay" in MK1, but after digging a little into his lore, I was very attracted to this idea, I hope you like it!

Yandere! Havik x Male! Reader

Yandere character: Havik From the videogame/anime/manga/movie/serie: Mortal Kombat 1 Case: Kidnapping, chilhood friendship, agression to the reader. Warning: Mention of rape, SA and physical and mental abuse on the reader. Part:1 of 1 Finished:Yes

Where had he gone?

That question, short and simple, that could be answered in two or even a single paragraph, had run through your mind for so long that it seemed like it already knew where each nerve was, where your darkest sorrows were hidden, or where the heart lay. memory of that man whom you admired so much at the time.

Havik was his name; You still had the memory of when you saw him for the first time, someone quite tall, hair that gave off strands that barely followed an order, a stupid smile on his face - which, it should be noted, his lack of emotions when he walked away from you - and acting nervous when talking to you.

That's how he was, as stupid as a king in love, as kind as a vase when manipulating the stems of a flower, and as sweet in simple acts as company was on a fearful afternoon, or help in moments of crisis. .

It was because of that—or perhaps, because of the change of letters on each card—that, when you saw him again, with that mask covering his jaw, there was only one question running through your head.

Where had he gone? Who was this strange being that had the audacity to invade the body of your loved one? Of all the people in the world, why specifically him? And his face, fearful and even aggressive at the moment your hands appeared between his two cheeks, only showed a feature that you were lucky enough to see at the moment of his departure; the horror.

Whether it be to the unknown, or to how horrific the journey that he was forced to undertake was going to be when he left his hometown, or even to this moment, where the emotions have such an overwhelming size that it is frightening, that it causes such feeling in his heart—which seemed to have turned to stone after so many months away—that softens his soul, but that generates earthquakes in his mind.

He felt rotten, after so much time alone, after so much pain without being shared, and from such burns that it makes one believe that they would never heal, he felt as if throughout the trip, he had suffered a metamorphosis, one such that At this point, it caused everything to go to hell.

He never wanted to allow himself to love, but with you everything was different, with you it always had to be different, perhaps because the gods wanted it that way, or perhaps because fate, always cruel and cold, decided to condemn his soul to this torment. . The torment of seeing you from afar, of knowing that he had become a monster, a strange creature and that he had no place in his town, and, going even further, that he changed both his physical appearance and his soul, as well as his thinking. , like his belief that, even in the darkest moments, there was a way out.

But. that light never seemed to exist, or at least when that witch, so vile and deceitful, ruined all his hopes to nothing, submerged all his innocent thoughts of keeping you safe in an ocean of pain, from which there seemed to be no escape.

So ugly and cruel was the reality that he had to take days to accept that the path was the most difficult, however, that was never mentioned in the letters. The same ones, so sweet and tender they were, that it seemed like he was playing with your mind, that he was tricking your head, that he was writing a fairy tale so that you wouldn't escape from his grasp, much less from the reach of his arms.

However, Havik also learned to be cruel, so cruel that, more than one night, he happily fantasized about destroying those suitors who dared to touch what was his, longing to steal a heart that belonged to him, and seeking to generate in you a feeling of apathy for him.

But, in poetic words he was expert; so many days dedicated just to writing to you, so many spelling mistakes fixed, and so many papers thrown into the trash solely because they did not meet his expectations of expressing his growing and throbbing love in every drop of his blood for you.

Maybe it was his eccentricity to deceive you, or his professionalism when it came to expressing his affection for you in every letter that you fell into the trap of his arms, in the obsessive ties tied to his soul, and in the eccentric loves that decided to torment everyone. and each of your thoughts.

It was exceedingly painful for you to see how different it was when he saw you again; the look in his eyes when he simply saw your figure again in the darkness made you foolishly believe that he was the same as he was when he was gone. However, it was when his arms trapped you in an immovable grip that you noticed something was wrong.

He had that pleasure of wrapping his arms around you, of laying his head against your hair or simply allowing him, so desperate and eager to free people from him, to receive even a token of affection, a small sign that he was doing everything right, a piece of reality, which was that you were with him, that you were there to receive him with a hug, and that, above all, the relationship that for years was seen as tender, continued to lie. same love that they felt for each other, that affection still existed, that energy of showing love, that joy that generates in the heart of the other to be in the presence of the one whom they considered was the destiny of their life.

“They are going to be freed,” he had whispered to you, “finally, the bastards will be gone.” he assures you, as if it were a wish that had finally come true. And as he joyfully intoned and highlighted how far he had come to fulfill his goal of freedom, your happy grimace twisted, protesting and alert to each of his words.

“What bastards?” You asked him “Are you talking about the wizard you had helped or…?”, you tried to continue questioning, but your mind clicked quickly.

You weren't exactly known for being smart, let alone being able to fully understand Havik. Even with all the time of friendship, or all the years of affection and sweet moments that you shared between the two of you, there was something that you always tried to ignore; that black stain which seemed to expand with the passing of the years, that sign of corruption which was only a small sign that maybe, and just maybe, the thoughts that lay on his mind were not as sweet and kind as you. you believed for so many years of stubbornness and lies. And of course, when seeing the reality, it was already too late.

Your screams were heard only by him and by Rain, who was the direct cause of so much blood and corpses scattered across the well-built terrain of your city, your town, your people, your beloved people whose lives had been so important to you how to breathe and release the air from your lungs. Your sobs, useless and exasperating, were the cause of Havik's anger, who seemed not to understand your desperation and anger.

The screams turned to pushing, pulling, and too soon, hitting you to try to subdue you, and it was soon when you ripped the mask from his jaw. His burned face, his angry countenance that could only be noticed by the tilt and expression of his eyebrows and the color that formed around his eyelids, only provoked even more terror in your soul.

This wasn't Havik, you repeated over and over in your mind. This is not my man, you screamed at your heart as he punches you in anger. Each spank against your skin was like a direct stab to your feelings. “I did this for us!” he shouted at you, but you couldn't hear him clearly, your sobs of pain and desperate attempts to try to escape him were as useless as a lamb's attempt to escape from a hunting wolf.

Again and again, the blows and expressions extended to reality by his lips caused your soul to tremble in horror. Something had happened to your much-loved man, whom you called the love of your life, the man who you had so claimed that he was going to be yours for eternity, and that you would belong to him until the end of time.

Of course there was a reality in those words; You were going to belong to this cruel man, even with all the horror, the screams and the storm that hit the city and the corpses that lay beneath the depths of the magic-tinged water, along with the screams of horror of the people who were victims. During the dark night where no one could return to their bed and rest as they deserved, you were going to be an object, a small, manipulable and weak object, whose openings caused by so many blows had to be covered by countless bandages.

But before everything escalated, the tan-skinned man's magic forced him away from you with a crash.

Even with all the damage already caused, and all the deaths that occurred during the few minutes that your “punishment” lasted for the futile attempt to make that man understand the mistake he was making, he had quickly reached the state of repentance.

Even with your attempt to speak, it was difficult for the man whose name you didn't know to try to understand your speech, and only Havik's aggressive and understandable reaction reminded Rain how dangerous it was to try to prevent you from being hurt further. The fight, inevitable even at such a crucial moment in the people's “liberation” from the forcibly established order, spread, but it was obvious that it was already useless to try to reason at such an important moment.

It was the first and last time Havik forgave Rain for anything, and it even took him a few hours to realize how much he had gone too far when it came to hitting your face. But at that point, his mind, having the room of rottenness so normalized, just decided to “let it go.”

It was painful to remember that you were about to faint as buildings fell on your friends, where your family searched for you all over the city even on the brink of collapse and so close to death, and knowing that, even if you had tried, you wouldn't have managed to even move a hair on the man who looked so hurt by the experiences he gained after such a long trip, much less knocking down his companion.

The only memory you had after such savage blows was hearing his voice, that voice that had made you crazy with love for so long, and that now only caused terror in your heart.

Days passed until your eyes opened again, and the bed, the worn walls, the sheet that covered your skin and the bandages so poorly fitted that they seemed to have been hastily made were not part of your room, nor of your house, or anywhere in your house. And the rough footsteps in the distance reminded you of that man, no, that monster who had ruined what meant so much to you.

Disgusting, was what you thought when he treated you with all the kindness he could, and your serious expression demonstrated the obviousness of your anger, and even in your crude attempt to pretend that you were just looking to “get used” to your new life, there was only a look of anger on your face.

No, of course Havik was not easy to fool —or at least that was what you believed during your first days in your new home—, much less when he was able to weaken you and generate a trauma in your mind, one such that it could reduce your mind to nothing if he shown even a little cruelty.

It was horrible knowing that you had been deceived, so many hours, days, months dedicating yourself to knowing if he was alive, if he still loved you, if he still planned to return to your arms and whisper in your ear how much he loved you. All thrown down the drain the moment you realized his horrendous cruelty.

For countless nights you planned the escape of your life, but each attempt was worse than the last, and it was even more difficult when he seemed so calm when you simply didn't say anything or beg to be released. Of course, when something was wrong, he had to force himself on you through fear, and obviously, you were too manipulable for him at that point.

Without daily exercise in those four walls you lost your strength, there was no room for magic, much less a measly attempt to stab him. Everything was so useless at that point that it seemed impossible to escape.

But a ray of light crossed your life when the chains managed to soften his overwhelming grip after resisting your struggles for so long, and by then, you managed to escape during that time. Your feet against the twigs on the ground, and your gaze fixed on various animals that crossed your path as you hurriedly fled from that home of terror, everything was even like a fairy tale for you.

But reality hits much harder than it embraces, and in this case, it hit you with Havik's cruelty when he managed to find you. And of course, at the time of the encounter, his anger was so thunderous that he seemed to be unstoppable at this point. Every second in which you were dragged by his powerful arms along with threatening promises of how cruel he would be from now on was overwhelming.

The cries of pain still terrorize your mind during the first few nights he had the nerve to force himself on you again, but now in the worst way possible. You still tremble as you remember all the nights in which you were barely able to get a little rest; Whether it was because of how cruel he was to your poor, weak body, like the bite marks on your neck and neck, or the pain after the forced acts, or the crying that you were forced to suppress after so much agony, everything was so horrible that to this day is traumatic.

Day in which, even with the hope that those stormy nights were only generated by his temporary anger over your miserable escape, it was only a small beginning of what was to come in the rest of your life, the suffering that was going to twist your life. mind and shatter it only to cause a pleasurable twist in the mind of such a macabre man, and a minimal taste of the pain that awaited you until the end of your days, for the man you once called the love of your life.

[paragonrobits]

so apparently there's Megatron sympathizing discourse in Transformers One (which unfortunately happens every time he's given a tiny bit of nuance instead of acting like Cobra Commander spent 50 years doing nothing but Super Coke), and its the same bizarre trend of people ascribing leftist and revolutionary principles to a character whose personal slogan is 'PEACE THROUGH TYRANNY'

and its especially annoying in TF One because in terms of recent Transformers adaptations, it is by far one of the least appropriate for this. You're seeing a lot of people stretch themselves into accordians trying to ascribe morals to Megatron that he does not give a damn about

evidently there's people going 'Optimus Prime is a fascist dictator' because ???

look. The entire movie has Orion Pax/Optimus Prime talking with wide eyed ideals about FREEDOM, PERSONAL AUTONOMY and MAKING YOUR OWN CHOICES, while Megatron is generally depicted as being a very firm believer in the rules and in systems. You do as your told and follow protocol, he says, and things are fine. This is very much a precursor to their later extremes, but its possible to read Megatron as completely indifferent to injustice in the system as long as it doesn't effect him, personally; heck, he outright DOESN'T CARE that he was born as a disposable miner, while Orion finds it unjust.

Megatron spends the movie mostly concerned with himself; he doesn't honestly care that much about societal problems, only about his own grievances. That, on its own, is not a fascist or power-mad mentality... but it is telling that the biggest moment he has in his character arc about any kind of statement is first that he wants to horribly murder and torment Sentinel for the things he did to Megatron.

Not for the societal ills Sentinel engineered, not for the unjust conditions of Cybertron he created, but because of what Sentinel did to him, personally; even at his best, Megatron is largely concerned with his own problems, his own suffering, and his character arc focuses a lot on him getting worse, backsliding from a more compassionate view until all he cares about is lashing out and taking out his problems on everyone else.

And the biggest moment there is when he seems to outright agree with Starscream's idea of 'the only thing that matters is one bot's power over another' and that's kind of a nail in a coffin for this Megatron being any kind of stand-in for your flavor of revolutionary praxis. That's an EXTREMELY militaristic viewpoint at best, and is probably the most outright fascist statement in-series.

Megatron's turn to villainy is him furiously trying to kill Sentinel in cold blood despite him already being deposed at that point, and he's clear that the only reason Megatron cares so much is what Sentinel did to him personally; its not about injustice or righting wrongs or rebuilding the world or how history will look at this moment, he's bitter and violent and wants to take it out on Sentinel. This is then followed up by him accidentally killing his closest ffriend, and thene DELIBERATELY letting that friend fall to his death so he can have his revenge and then start blowing up buildings at random to destroy the legacy of a now-dead dictator.

None of this makes him a revolutionary, and its honestly kind of ridiculous to act like he is. At best it implies that you don't think a revolutionary has to have actual ideals and political theory, they just need to kill the Bad Guy and then everything is magically good forever.

That's not just absurd, that's just childishly naive.

[rafyki]

Goth! Nico/ Surfer! Percy AU Part 6!

Sorry for the little wait, I couldn't find a moment to write lately o<-< good thing I had this half written already! Anyway, have some more Nico&Leo dynamics and some more pining - and also, I promise things are gonna move forward soon!! (but I needed more setup before our two boys finally start properly acting on their crush lmao)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

You can also read it on AO3!!

~~~~~~

Percy didn't come to the beach the next day, the day after that, and for the whole following week.

Nico wasn't sulking about it, he was not. Maybe panicking a little inside, questioning every single word they had said to each other and trying to find in them some hidden reason that would push Percy to never go back there and leave the country just to make sure he wouldn't see Nico again. 

But he wasn't sulking.

“Take that pouty look off your face, goth boy, you're gonna scare the customers away”.

“I’m not pouting”.

“You kind of are though”, Leo said. “Which is fair, I guess, you miss your surfer boy”.

Nico felt a blush coming up to his face at the same time of the familiar find annoyance he associated with no one but Leo.

“He's not my-”, he started, then stopped and took a deep breath. “I'm not pouting”, he just said again. “It's not like he lives on the beach, right, he must have a life outside of surfing”.

Maybe he was trying to convince himself more than Leo, but that didn't matter.

The way his eyes moved around scanning the beach was automatic, as was the sigh that escaped him. Maybe he was being silly, and a little pathetic - he knew that, but still couldn’t help the way his heart kept falling again and again, nor the way the empty chair before him (Percy’s chair) seemed to lay in wait just like Nico was.

He definitely needed to find some way to distract himself.

“Sure, which is why I told you to ask for his number”, Leo replied. “And if you had listened to my genius advice, maybe you could be texting him right now, instead of sulking and hoping he shows up”.

“Why are you even here, Leo?”, he said, ignoring Leo’s last words and trying instead to change the subject. “Jason’s not coming today, you know that”.

“Am I not allowed to visit a friend? My dear friend who’s pining and suffering and definitely needs my support?”, Leo said, accompanying his dramatic words with an overdramatic hand on his heart. 

Nico just rolled his eyes at him.

“I definitely don't”, he said, even though the truth was that he actually enjoyed the company. Leo’s presence was the only thing saving him from a long and lonely work day. “And non-shift days for Jason are usually when you have your dates”, he added.

“I knoow”, Leo said, a pout forming on his lips. “But Thalia came back yesterday, so today is their brother-and-sister date”.

“Ah, that’s right, Jason did mention that”.

“Can’t interfere with siblings time”.

“So you had nothing better to do today and came here”.

“I came here to save you from your loneliness, goth boy”, Leo said. “Also, I do enjoy your company”.

Nico smiled, and offered him ice cream as a silent thanks. 

“It reminds me of when it was the other way around and you helped me when I was pining for Jason”.

Nico made a face at the memory, then laughed. “Oh my god, you were terrible- absolutely pathetic”, he said. “Thank god you’re together now”.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m gonna say when you and your surfer boy will finally get together”.

Nico’s smile faltered, his heart jumping and then growing heavy at the words - like it couldn’t decide if he felt more pleased at the idea of it ever happening or more glum at the prospect of Percy never going back there.

Few long moments of silence followed, and Nico’s mind went back to the thoughts tormenting him.

And there was also something else, something that Nico was trying not to focus too much about. 

Leo looked at Nico in silence for a while, his cheek resting on the palm of his hand. Nico could almost see the gears turning in his head. “Are you worried about him?”

Nico looked away. He felt stupid thinking about it even more than he did when panicking and making everything probably bigger than it was. 

Logically speaking, it was unlikely that Percy would stop coming to the beach just because Nico was there - there wasn't really anything between them, after all and, from what Nico knew about him, the ocean and surfing were way too important for Percy to give up. 

But it had been a week, and Percy usually came at least two or three times a week, even just for an hour (Nico spent way too much time thinking about him and looking for him to not notice this) - yet, there the beach was, full of people but with no Percy in sight. Nico felt his heart fall again as he scanned the shore around him, looking for familiar black hair and beautiful eyes. He couldn't help but wonder if something had happened, if Percy was doing alright.

“You know he might just be busy”.

“I know”.

“So I think there's no reason for you to worry about him”.

Nico sighed. “I hate it when you make sense”, he said. “Jason is definitely rubbing off of you”.

“That's what love does to a man!”

Nico felt that now familiar pang of not-quite-jealousy as he looked at the smile growing on his friend's face. His eyes scanned the beach again as the thought of I want that too crossed his mind, side by side with the image of two sea-green eyes and a soft smile.

~~~

Nico didn’t expect anything to happen. He spent the whole day waiting and waiting in the hope of Percy showing up, his heart feeling heavier and heavier with every passing hour. 

The truth was that, simply put, he missed Percy - which was stupid and ridiculous, but Nico had been dying to talk to him again, to feel his eyes on himself again, to be on the receiving end of his smile, to get to know something more about him.

He’ll come back at some point, he told himself. Maybe. 

The sun was coming down, the sky colored a pretty shade of yellow and orange and red. The day had felt infinite, time dragging on and simply refusing to pass by, but Nico’s shift was finally almost over. He looked at his phone to check the time, wishing the next fifteen minutes would simply come to an end faster.

He cursed all the gods of all the pantheons ever existed when he saw someone sitting before him. God, how he hated when customers did that.

He forced his usual work smile on his lips and looked up. Then did a double take - the girl sitting in front of him looked strangely familiar, even though he was pretty sure he didn’t actually know her.

All the while taking her order (just a cold water bottle - who even came to a beach kiosk at that hour to ask for nothing but a water bottle?) Nico kept thinking and wondering; maybe she just came there often? But there was something about her that kept pulling at Nico’s memory.

It hit him at once when she was handing him the money to pay.

Ah, it was her. The girl who usually came to the beach with Percy. Nico felt his heart starting to beat faster at the realization.

Would it be weird to ask her about Percy?

Yes it would!, his mind yelled at him. 

But at the same time, every cell in his body was telling him that it didn’t matter, that this was too much of a lucky chance to just let it pass by.

Lost in his thoughts like that, he was definitely taking way more time than necessary to get her change.  

He was worried, he missed Percy so much it was frankly absurd. And he thought his friends would probably back him up in this

“Here”, he said, as he finally handed her her change.

She thanked him and went to turn around. “Uhm!”, Nico started before he could really think about it and stop himself. “Excuse me-”

She turned to look at him again. Was Nico imagining the weird look in her eyes? Yes, she was probably simply annoyed at being called back. “Yes?”

“Ah- sorry”, Nico said, feeling so incredibly stupid. Maybe he should just back out. But then he thought of the long day he had had and of the hole he had felt the whole time. He pushed the words out.

“Uhm, you’re a friend of Percy, right?”

“Yes”, the girl said, nodding. This time Nico was almost certain that there was a weird look in her eyes that he couldn’t exactly interpret - but she looked more curious than anything else, so he counted it as a sign he could go on.

“I just- I just noticed he hasn’t been coming here lately…?”, he said, trying and failing to will his heart to calm down a little. “... is he alright?”

“Oh yeah, he’s been talking about you!”, she replied. “He’s alright, he’s just out of town. He went to New York to visit his mum”.

“Ah, that’s good”. 

The relief was soon pushed aside when the words the girl had said finally hit him.

He’s been talking about you.

What?

He only vaguely registered the girl saying goodbye and waving at him before leaving.

Nico waved back, feeling numb. He hoped his expression wasn’t as dumbstruck as he felt.

He’s been talking about you.

Percy had been talking about him? Nico’s heart was playing athletics in his chest, the butterflies taking residence in his stomach were throwing the most chaotic party ever.

He’s been talking about you.

He put his face in his hands, hiding behind his palms the foolish happy smile that was growing on his lips.

Suddenly, the day didn’t feel as bad as before.

[acourtofthought]

I haven't seen this particular gem of a post but there is apparently one going around stating that everyone in the ACOTAR world has suffered more than Lucien, that he doesn't know suffering.

Just a little starter here. The first book began with Lucien's friend being murdered because they needed to sacrifice him in order to break the curse on Spring.

"Autumn Court is ...cutthroat. Beautiful, but his brothers see each other only as competition, since the strongest of them will inherit the title."

"Lucien fell in love with a faerie whom his father considered to be grossly inappropriate for someone of his bloodline." "His father had her put down. Executed, in front of Lucien, as his two eldest brothers held him and made him watch."

"Without his title protecting him, his brothers thought to eliminate one more contender to the High Lord's crown. Three of them went out to kill him."

"But he has never forgotten what they did to her, or what his brothers tried to do to him. Even if he pretends that he has."

"She took his eye as punishment. Carved it out with her own fingernail, then scarred his face. She sent him back so bloody that Tamlin...The High Lord vomited when he saw his friend."

Lucien's brothers lurked on the edges of the crowd - no remorse, no fear on their handsome faces. Amarantha sighed. "I thought you would have learned your lesson, Lucien. Though this time your silence will damn you as much as your tongue." Lucien kept his eyes shut. Ready - he was ready for Rhysand to wipe out everything he was, to turn his mind, his self into dust.

"but only after she made Tamlin bestow Lucien's punishment. Twenty lashes." (remember, because he tried to help Feyre in her trial? Also she prevented Lucien from being able to heal).

"Lucien lay chained to the center of the floor on the other side of the chamber, his remaining russet eye so wide that it was surrounded with white. / Again he was to be Amarantha's toy to torment."

"Don't give me that look, Lucien." SIlence again. Then a vicious snarl, and a shudder of magic rocked the house. Tamlin's voice had been low, deadly. Do not push me on this. I didn't want to know what was happening in that room, what he'd done to Lucien.

Thoughts slammed into me, images and memories, a pattern of thinking and feeling that was old, and clever and sad, endlessly sad and guilt-ridden, hopeless -

"She - she didn't act that way at..." Lucien. Lucien had hated her. Had made vague, vicious allusions to not liking her, to being approached by her. I was going to throw up. Had she...had she pursued him like that? Had he...had he been forced to say yes because of her position?

He might have completed the Great Rite with Ianthe of his own free will, but he certainly hadn't enjoyed it. Some line had been blurred - badly.

I waited the five minutes it took Tamlin to decide not to kill Lucien, and then smiled. I wondered if Lucien had pieced it together. That I had known Tamlin would come to my room tonight, after I had given him so many shy touches and glances today.

"Back off". "Do not touch me," he growled." Where Lucien stood, back against a tree - twin bands of blue stone shackled around his wrists. / And in this case...holding Lucien against that tree as Ianthe surveyed him like a snake before a meal. She slid a hand over the broad panes of his chest, his stomach. And Lucien's eyes shot to me as I stepped between the trees, fear and humiliation reddening his golden skin.

As the youngest of seven sons, I wasn't particularly needed or wanted."

"Did you think it was mere hatred that prompted my brothers to do their best to break and kill me?"

The circle of people who now claimed to be Feyre's new family...It was what, long ago, he'd once thought life at Tamlin's court would be. An ache like a blow to the chest went through him.

"I am Lucien. Seventh son of the High Lord of the Autumn Court. And a whole lot of nothing.

"I do not belong in the Autumn Court. And I'm willing to be I'm no longer welcome at h- the Spring Court." Home, he had almost said.

"The same things he does now." Helion waved a hand. "Belittle her, leave bruises where no one but him will see them." (So to recap, Beron physically and verbally abuses his WIFE, killed Lucien's love and people think he had an easy childhood with this man?)

It would explain why his father and brothers detest him so much - why they have tormented him his entire life.

I hadn't asked Lucien any questions about that visit - to Tamlin. Lucien hadn't explained the black eye and cut lip, either.

"I don't have anywhere else to go." "You ruined any chances I have of going back to Spring. Not to Tamlin, but to the court beyond his house. Everyone either still believes the lies you spun or they believe me complicit in your deceit" - Side note but even knowing this, about how the people feel about him because of Feyre's schemes, Lucien still allowed the NC to permanently station him there in SF. It's really cute of E/riels to think Az is having such a rough go of it, living in the Night Court with the brothers who love him, while Lucien just has it so easy, right?

The male had grown up alongside Eris. Had dealt with Eris's and Beron's cruelty. Had his lover slaughtered by his own father.

This paragraph is about Eris: Beron had tortured his own son for information, rather than thanking the Mother for returning him. / The male had been raised with every luxury and privilege - on paper. But who knew what terrors Beron had inflicted upon him?

So with that said, If that's how Beron treated his own son how do you think he treated the son he suspected belonged to another man?

Cassian knew Beron had murdered Lucien's lover. If the High Lord of Autumn had been willing to do that, what wouldn't he do?

So by all means, I'd love to know how a character who we have canon evidence of suffering from his younger years all the way through the present has it so much easier than everyone else?

Someone's selective reading is showing!!

[levihandynasty]

Girls of The Night

Content warning: Implied sa, sex work (implied?), creepy men. (Be aware, I might have forgotten some, tread with caution)

Word count: 2949

Discord writing challenge: week 5

Prompt: Drunk

AN: I haven't read over this story in its full as I sadly grew tired of it while writing it. I feel that the quality might falter a bit in what I see as the second half. The story also didn't play out the way I planned it, there arw things I wish I had written differently, but I couldn't find the energy or the way to formulate it. There is also a lot that got scrapped that I originally wanted in here. If I ever find the energy to, I might re-write this. Tho, I still hope you take the time to read this version!

A man walked down a familiar Street. Above him flickered lights that barely reached the road he walked, forever damned to living in darkness the man offered this world a gentle scoff, for everything was just as he remembered it. Even after all these years away, the suffocating shadows still felt the same. Perhaps he had hoped it would have found betterment in his absence, for despite all logical thought, he was sure he was cursed to bring misfortune to any land he set foot upon, and every person he dared touch. A fool's wish, it had been. those above Had never cared for those down below, pretending they did not exist was much easier on those few who knew of them. Those rich and wealthy turned their noses away from the stench of poverty, nothing else was to be expected of their kind. Levi Ackerman, humanity's strongest soldier, had not offered a gracing light to the people of his hometown, just as he had assumed many of those in charge had called him a monster, a beast. The military police long seemed nervous about him, ignoring him whenever possible, referring to Erwin only.

Erwins words had been his saving grace, one Levi had not asked for, yet it was his word that had paved the way for Levi to remain in the sun, bask in it as the wind carried the most beautiful smells to his nose. Standing by Erwins side, Levi found a purpose he had never before known he lacked.

Whispers had carried themselves through military headquarters since week one, never dying down. Whispers about Erwin Smith’s new miracle named Levi Ackerman. An underground dog that bites harder than any seen before, but Erwin kept a steady hand on him, they said. By Erwin’s side, this dog did not have to be put down despite its forever bared teeth.

Erwin Smith had created many miracles in his time, the greatest of which being the one that had for a moment allowed Levi to believe he was meant for this earth, that his hand alone did not bring pain and suffering. Levi would be forever convinced that one more could have been made. If Erwin had just listened to him-

A place so filthy should not remind him of that man, with forever watchful eyes, blue as the sky and drowning in curiosity like a cat in a bag. Erwin had been too good to be associated with the lazy filth dying like flies down here, yet he had died just the same.

With Levi unable to do anything to stop it, Erwin had died the same.

The image of his limp body in Forster's grip had not left him alone for even a moment. Every time he closed his eyes he saw and felt as he did that day, trembling hands which clung to a cold syringe felt like they were being pulled by a thread, puppeted by some cruel puppeteer above. Yet he had acted just as he would have expected himself to. Was he at all his own master? Or was he a slave to a god above who found enjoyment in his torment?

Acting exactly as he had expected himself to, Levi had offered his commander peace.

Now lifting his head, Levi attempted to find a breath of fresh air, but all that filled his lungs was the clammy stench of the underground. His shoulders rose and sank as he made effort to calm himself, feeling a certain rage surge through his veins and deep into his gut, he hoped to simply will it away.

He closed his eyes, and once more Erwin's dying body flashed before him, now followed by the defeated expression Levi had bared witness To during their last conversation. “Damn-” Levi clenched his jaw and fists tightly together, forcefully prying his eyes open before the imagined scene of Moblit's last breath managed to taunt him. Hange had explained to him exactly what they had seen, and unlike what people might think of him, humanity's strongest had a vivid imagination, especially for all things grotesque.

“You need a hand, boy?” A woman's voice filled Levi's ears, and as the man followed the sound of her with his eyes, she would approach him.

Each step she took sent her stumbling at least half a step back again. Her breath was laboured and rough, her pale skin covered in bruises, especially remarkable was one around her throat, a near perfect handprint. And In her grasp lay what Levi assumed had been cheap payment for a quick favour. Money is good, but perhaps forgetting was better.

“Do you?” At first he had been ready to fight or flee, women down in the underground were often used for one out of two things, luckily this one seemed to be of the non-dangerous kind.

His assumption was solidified as those weak lanterns laid light upon her face, painting the blob she had formerly been in the dark of that alley- with features he knew, a face he trusted. “Hilde?” his voice sounded uncertain as she threw herself upon him, the force of her body against his own had pushed the wind out of him. She wasn't heavy, the man could easily have wrapped his arm around her and carried her away if he had to, but she was sharp.

Her frame was much smaller than it once had been, and so the man suffered the piercing pain of a blunt hit of a shoulder into his chest.

as he breathed through the pain, Levi's focus was absent. Remaining away until the feeling of her hands upon him carried him through it. “Hey-” the way she had tugged on his pants was lazy and far less than excited. “Don't” her knees had buckled in so she was leaning onto him, offering her full weight to him.

the woman's eyes darted up to his as the words he had spoken managed to break through her drunken mind-fog. “I see~” her voice was weak, but now it seemed to hold some sort of amusement as she pushed away from him, standing up as straight as she could before she began a stumbly walk down the street.

He had no choice but to follow her, he feared with every step she took that the next would be the one to send her face first into the rocks.

“Hey! Slow down!” He followed her a path he had walked a hundred times before, one leading to the place he was born.

“Watch out, that step is broken” the woman swayed as she Strode to avoid the middle step leading up to the brothel. It was the same as always, this place.

Levi quickly moved in to offer the taller woman some support, allowing her to yet again lean onto him as they made their way up the old stairs.

It felt like stepping foot into a whole new world, one that despite its location attempted to hide its filth underneath a thick layer of strong incense and atmospheric candles.

His eyes quickly wandered over the room, there wasn't much more to see here, even if he had the interest In seeing it.

An old man stood some distance away from them, smoking a pipe as dark as the eyes that followed each of Levi's movements, but ignoring the woman he had followed here. Levi knew this man as well, and now knowing he was still around, Levi was happy to follow Hilde to her room, away from him before he got the chance to speak.

The room they stepped into was neglected, each surface carried more dust than Levi could recall ever having seen before. The moisture of the underground had caused it to stick so strictly too, clinging to the Wood so hard Levi had for a moment feared it was mold he was seeing.

“Come” The woman's voice reached his ears once more, he had no more time to waste staring at things that should be fixed, for the woman had grabbed him by the arm and pulled him across the room and towards her bed, the only part of her room that seemed properly used. “You're lucky you're cute” her voice was now coming out as a mumble while she straightened her sheets “cocky, but cute. Don't think I'd agree to bringing just any man to bed, I've got my standards too”

Way too late had Levi remembered how her hands had gripped and groped him earlier on. She had Pulled him down before he had been able to clarify that his objection had not been because of where they were then and there, clarify that he had no interest in her, no intention of purchasing her services.

Once more he felt her hands about him. She had been quick to kneel down before him, one boney hand gripping his thighs for support as the other reached out to unbutton his pants.

He stared down at her hands, unable to move an inch as the fabric gave way for the metallic button that kept his clothes up and on him. His heart beat loudly in his chest, deafening to any feeling or thought he would try to lay focus on. A trembling hand moved towards hers, as Levi's mouth hung open an attempt at pushing out a protest stuck in the back of his throat.

His hand finally met with hers, he had intended to push her away gently, try to make her understand- however his hand met with hers, as she allowed gentle fingers to caress him.

his voice finally let go and escaped him, coming out in a burst that had made her jump. And so Levi was back up on his feet, taking deep lasting breaths to keep himself calm.

He could keep himself calm, but he had no control over the feelings of others. He had no way of preventing the woman on the floor from breaking down into tears where she knelt. And as she began whimpering her apologies, claiming that her beauty was not what it once had been, and asking him what had made him change his mind, Levi found it difficult to speak.

Where she got the idea was easy enough to understand, he was a man, and she was a drunken girl of the night. He didn't have the words to assure her of her beauty and dignity, she looked sickly, and though he could lie, he found no words at all as she continued to cry.

Levi instead remained silent, slowly reaching down to grab a gentle hold of her, shaking his head once as he helped her to bed. She had quickly turned to continue her mournings into the thin pillow, one he was sure had often been the holder of her tears, all her secrets and all her dreams.

He turned his back to her, allowing her to cry as she saw fit. He had found no words of comfort to offer her, but he could still do good by her in another way, even if it would prove futile and be just the same again in a weeks time, he could help her out by cleaning the only place she had to call her own.

She had fallen asleep as Levi worked, leaving him to the mercy of his own mind in the silence, however there was much work to have done, so it seemed that for once, mercy was on his side.

Gripping a chipped cup off of the floor, Levi thought for a moment he caught a whiff of a scent very pleasant to him. Pleasant despite-

“kuchel!” A young Hilde had barged into Kuchel's quarters, her eyes red and body shaking all over. Levi's mother had put her son down, and imidiately turned to open her arms for the younger woman, allowing her into her motherly embrace as she let her cry it out.

Hilde cursed men, sobbed into Kuchel's chest about how cruel they were. She had been beat, even the child on the floor could tell, and the child shared the woman's sentiment, even at his young age.

Hilde had stayed with them til it was no longer possible. Kuchel had been called for, the director had once again needed a word with her. Levi, had promptly been put in Hilde’s arms, left to reach for his darling mother as she walked away from him.

The younger woman was good with children, she had been by Levi's side since he was born and had never showed any annoyance with him. She was the only woman Kuchel dared leave him with, and the only one that could keep Levi silent when it was needed, Putting him to sleep within a makeshift bed within his mothers closet. He was a small child, best that way, easier to hide.

As the man finished cleaning the woman's room, he decided to take his leave. She was sleeping now, curled up much alike how he himself had slept when he was a child. He had nothing more to offer her, so leaving her now was the only thing that felt right, the only thing he could do to avoid further misunderstandings.

“Hey” a voice had called out for him from behind as he reached towards the exit door, a voice that had caused him to freeze. “Levi” amusement painted the voice of that old man. “Finally returning to your roots?”

“What?” Levi turned to the man, shooting him a glare, daring him to go on. What Levi had not expected was for the man to get all up in his face, he had moved way faster than Levi assumed he could, and now he had him cornered right by the door that would have taken him out of there.

“Would you look at that” the man's eyes had began scanning each of Levi's features. he should have pushed past him, should have told him to back away and leave him alone, but just the same as he had when Hilde had been about to show him her tricks, Levi felt as if his body no longer belonged to him, floating through air way too thick to breathe. Even as the man's hand, one stinking of tobacco, had reached for his face, he didn't manage to move an inch, not even his fingers obeyed him.

“Been waiting for you, you know. Always knew you'd end up back here, no matter what you've accomplished up above. Those pricks could never see you as one of them, you'd have to come home one day” his hand was rough, far from gentle as he pat his cheek the same way you'd pat an obedient dog.

Then his thumb, slowly caressing Levi's skin, felt like a fire being set ablaze upon him, burning away what little sense of self and reality had been left with Levi.

The beating banging of his pulse was giving him a headache.

The rough and wrinkled thumb met with Levi’s lips, first at the corner, dwelling there like a snake waiting for its prey. “You always looked like your mother” the man's words now held a far more sinister tone, one that made Levi's stomach turn. “Do you still bite? Levi.” the soldier has seen many deaths in his time, seen guts spill from the humans they belonged to as dying men desperately tried to put themselves together, but this? Humanity’s strangest was certain he would vomit. “It's good behaviour. For a boy to protect his mother the way you did, I think I still got a scar from ya~” Levi could remember now, how he had once sunk his teeth into this man's forearm after he had struck his mother.

“Answer me, do you still bite? boy.” he didn't answer. “Would be a shame if you did, her mouth was always better than her-”

By Erwins side, the dog did not bite.

Erwin wasn't here.

“Boy?” Finally Levi found his voice again. His body felt all calm once more as he moved his head out of the disgusting old man's grasp. “Don't touch me, who knows where you've been” he kept his calm for just a moment longer, but he had no intention of making it last.

A vase of withered flowers stood by the door, Levi had not allowed the man to speak again before the glass object had been broken against his head. He had not allowed him to react, had grabbed the vase way too quick for that.

He had collapsed imidiately, that filthy vermin. His body had given in underneath him and sent him crashing into the shattered glass below, the water the flowers had once stood in, now red upon the wooden floor.

Humanity's strongest stepped over the director, decided to stick around anyway, just for a bit.

Hilde was awoken to the scent of tea, a dark figure standing above her with a tray in its hands. “Kuchel?..” perhaps she had forgotten that her friend was long gone, or perhaps she hoped she had died in her sleep.

“Oh Levi” her tired face lit up as she realised who stood before her, a man she had not before recognised. “My boy, that smells divine. where did you find that?”

He answered her only with a hum as he sat down besides her.

“Thank you” she whispered, taking her cup from the tray on his lap. “For refusing me, I apologise dear.. I have no clue what came over me, don't ever think I'd forget you, kid” from her, as before, he let it pass. “You look good, Levi. Your mother would be so proud of you.”

“... thanks.”

[kajilychnis]

Skrael and Mythology and Legends inspirations

Yeesss I did it for Bellroc, I'm going to do it for Skrael now! Well... we all know who Skrael is, he is a primordial demigod of cold, snow and icy winds and storms. He is sadistic and ruthless, he is a great manipulator, cunning and observant and strangely patient. He has the ideal qualities of a final antagonist, but in the series he comes across more as Bellroc's right-hand than anything else. There are several mythologies that may have influenced the creation of the character.

Of course, I'm going to talk about his Wendigo influence first because it's the most obvious and observed one. There are several similarities to the Wendigos and Skrael, firstly his black cloak which appears to be torn at the end of his cloak and with a long horned animal skull worn on his hooded head. The typical Wendigo appearance we all know, except Skrael has more of a humanoid appearance, the skull could be a wendigo he killed (potentially). But the animalized appearance of the wendigo is a creation of Algernod Blackwood in the 70s (thanks Until Dawn for this information). The true legend of the wendigos comes from the legends of the Anishinàbemiwin tribe, in these legends they were much more humanoid, skeletal with grey skin, bald, sharp teeth, terrifying and bloodthirsty/anthropophagous creatures. Which could explain Skrael's appearance under his cape and without his hood and his animal skull. However this is only physical, what could approach Skrael that is outside of physical appearance would be the fact that wendigos are associated with the sins of gluttony, greed or excess of any kind. They are never satisfied after killing a person to devour them, and they are constantly looking for new victims. You see where I'm going with this? Skrael is also power hungry, he wants more and more, he wants the world all to himself. He is also very sadistic and he likes to torment and torture mortals especially humans. So the wendigos fits him well. Aside from the fact that he seems to be a more civilized version of what a wendigo is… probably because Skrael is not just inspired by the legend of the wendigos...

This is where we come to the second part, the legend of Jack Frost. Another one that seems obvious, but I decided to start with the most obvious to the least obvious. Jack Frost is another legend that may recall Skrael, although his interpretation varies greatly between cultures and eras. In European and Anglo-Saxon legends, Jack Frost embodies the spirit of winter and frost, a mischievous being, capable of transforming landscapes into icy expanses and drawing frost patterns on windows. However, Jack Frost is not as jovial as some modern versions portray him, he is often a mysterious character, a capricious and sometimes cruel spirit, indifferent to the effects of his frost on human beings. Jack Frost is often depicted as a small elf, fast, mischievous yet innocent with a childlike character. He can also become dangerous and freeze people on the spot, if they anger him. His physique can have winter aspects: white hair, his eyes of the color blue, ice on his clothes. The two characters are very similar, much more in personality than physically. Physically we find the gel on the clothes, the blue icy eyes, the young appearance (most of the time Jack Frost is young in representations), the pale blue skin (yes Jack Frost has pale skin that looks almost blue) and the albino side that Skrael has but only on his eyelashes which are white. In terms of personality, they both are mischievous, they don't care how others might feel and they think ice/snow is better than anything. In folk tales, Jack Frost is a spirit who acts according to his own desires, without respect for humans. This indifference to the suffering of others is also found in Skrael, who sees cold as a means of purifying the world.

For the third part, I placed it here randomly, but I wanted to talk about Ymir even though there is very little to say. As we all know, Ymir is a primordial frost giant from Norse mythology. Ymir is described as one of the first beings in the universe, born from the meeting of the fire of Muspellheim and the ice of Niflheim, and he is the ancestor of all frost giants. This ancient and primordial nature is reflected in Skrael, a guardian who embodies an ancient and immutable force of winter, a power that seems to have been there since the beginning of the world. Norse mythology tells us that the gods killed Ymir and used his body to create the world: his flesh became the earth, his blood the oceans, his bones the mountains, and his skull the sky. I see this as some sort of proof that Skrael's titan is his true form and his first form, his separation from his original body makes him less strong. The giant that is Ymir must have been a potential inspiration for Skrael's titan, the fact that he is a primordial giant like Skrael is a primordial demigod titan. And the fact that they were both separated from their bodies as well, shows some resemblance between them.

Finally, I didn't think to add it in my "analysis" but… I will finally talk about Khione. Why Khione and not Boreas, the god of the north wind? Because apart from their title, their cruelty and their power I found nothing else to say about this charlatan who definitely does not know consent. To make the rest of my analysis more meaningful, I would like to warn you that I am talking about Khion from Rick Riordan's books. Like Skrael, Khione is a snow goddess, she masters snow, cold and ice. She is able to create storms, freeze objects and manipulate temperature, and she also likes to turn people into ice statues… like Skrael. Both share this feeling of indifference to human and other creatures, they are devoid of empathy, they are implacable deities, detached from human emotions and indifferent to the suffering or destruction they inflict. This lack of pity or empathy reinforces their merciless nature, each imposing cold without a soul. In Riordan's works, Khione aspires to power and the reign of winter. She is ambitious, seeking to dominate or make winter a supreme force. In a similar way, Skrael embodies this vision of eternal winter. Both want the cold to reign supreme and do not want a natural cycle where spring would return, but rather a world frozen forever under their icy control. Khione and Skrael are both beings of solitude. Khione, like a goddess of the icy heights, is distant from the world of humans and rarely interacts with them, preferring her solitude. Skrael, is a spirit isolated from any attachment and emotional warmth, he shares the same thoughts as Khione, he does not want to interact and mingle with other creatures and even less humans. There is also the connection between Khione and Gaia in Rick Riordan's universe and between Skrael and Nari which can present interesting parallels. In Heroes of Olympus, Khione allies with Gaia, the Earth Goddess, for her own ambitions of power and to bring about eternal winter. Khione sees Gaia as a primordial force that can help her impose her rule. Similarly, Skrael allies with Nari to wipe humanity from Earth and bring about eternal winter (although this is not explicitly stated in the series). Khione, though independent and ambitious, knows that Gaia is a greater power than she is, a primordial entity that surpasses other natural forces. She acts to serve Gaia's interests, even if she hopes to profit from them. Skrael and Nari are equals compared to them, but what does not change is that Skrael takes advantage of Nari, in order to achieve his goal.

The name of "Skrael" comes from Norse culture. The Vikings used the term "Skræling" to refer to the indigenous peoples they encountered in North America, including the Inuit and other indigenous groups of Greenland and "Newfoundland". In Old Norse, Skræling means "weak" or "barbarian" or "foreigner", with a connotation of "skin" or "bark", which could indicate a pejorative view. The term was often used to mark the perceived difference between the Vikings and the peoples they encountered. It is also possible that in "Skrael" there are cold or icy sounds. For example, "sk-" at the beginning of the name (like "skeleton" and "skull") may have a visual sound associated with something hard, bony, or cold.

Finally, to conclude, Skrael is an interesting antagonist even if we don't know much about him. He is ruthless, reckless, observant, sadistic and patient, the perfect antagonist inspired by legends and myths.

[thatguywhodoesstuff]

Some Unsorted Thoughts Regarding Murder Drones Episode 7 & Episode 8

Hopping back online for a moment to post a bunch of unsorted thoughts & mini-theories about the upcoming episodes:

Nori and Yeva are well and truly dead, and didn’t fake their deaths like I’ve seen others theorize. Despite this, I can picture them directly being involved with the plot via some convoluted Absolute Solver related shenanigans.

Personally, I like to think all Drones can save, edit, & transfer copies of their memories in a manner akin to saving files onto a flash drive to transfer over to another computer to be modified. This isn’t all that far fetched given how V and N’s memories were altered and how Uzi managed to help recover them.

Going off of the above points and the fact that each episode lampoons a different horror genre, I feel that we are due a good ol’ fashioned psychological thriller. I can easily imagine the under depths of the labs being loaded with all sorts of Eldritch nonsense (like those decidedly organic hands that drag off N during the trailer) that will undoubtedly push everyone to their breaking point before episode 8 even happens.

I’ve always had the long-standing theory/belief that Khan actually knows more than he lets on. I know there isn’t a lot to back this up, but it’s just something I always thought would make sense given everything he’s managed to live through.

I am of the mind that Nori was not the one to cause the core collapse that wiped out the humans on Copper-9. If anything, I think it would be neat if the core collapse was a complete accident that actually prevented/delayed the Absolute Solver from destroying Copper-9, with the event simply happening to coincide with whatever hell Nori was undoubtedly raising at the time.

I’ve seen a number of people point out how Uzi seems to be in control of herself when she grips N’s hand, and while a number of people seem to interpret this as her being mad at him for keeping secrets, I’m not convinced that’s the case. My crackpot theory is that Uzi is going to learn some hard facts about her mother and she is not going to handle them well and, with everything else going on, needs N now more than ever for emotional support, probably at the expense of his own mental well-being.

The cathedral under Cabin Fever labs was either built by Drones already under the thrall of the AS or Drones like Alice who got trapped in the facility and went insane from the experience.

As for what purpose the cathedral actually serves, I feel it could’ve an actual place of worship for the Absolute Solver, just as easily as it could be a conduit to broaden the area of influence of the malevolent “program”. Then again, it could just as easily serve as both, sort of like a giant transmitter/receiver with a decidedly gothic style to it for added flair.

There is this weird feeling in the back of my head that we won’t get a proper confrontation between the gang and Doll and, in true subversive horror fashion, something will happen to her that takes her out of the plot, at least for the rest of the season.

Part of me wonders if the reason Tessa acted so strange during episode 6 is rooted in the trauma from CYN’s massacre. After witnessing that and implicitly having been seriously injured, it wouldn’t surprise me if Tessa is poorly coping with the situation at hand. I also can’t help but wonder if she’s got a touch of robophobia directed towards Solver infected Drones.

Out of everyone, I feel that N is the least likely to perma-die in the upcoming episodes. In pretty much every horror series I’ve ever watched the nice one (when they aren’t one of the first people to die) typically lives the longest so that the narrative can torment them, regardless of whether or not they eventually earn their happily ever after. I doubt that N is any different, and I fear that his suffering has yet to begin in earnest.

Doll also doesn’t seem likely to die just yet (but given how Liam doesn’t seem all that shy about killing off major characters when needed…), and I have a feeling that if given the chance she could become a valuable ally, even if the alliance itself would be pretty unstable at best.

Of the four, Tessa and Uzi have the highest number of death flags waving around them. One has to wonder which is worse, losing an old friend who didn’t dehumanize your every action, that you just recently remembered/reunited with or losing the first friend/love you have had in a long time, who has also helped you recognize your own self worth. Either way, N is going to be crushed by the loss, especially given the likelihood of it being at his own hands.

If Tessa dies, I imagine her final moments will involve her bemoaning how N has doomed everyone… only to impart words of encouragement to him and assure him that his loving nature isn’t a weakness and may be instrumental later down the line.

If Uzi dies (I wouldn’t put it past Liam to pull this), it will be in an intense heat of the moment situation that won’t immediately register to her or N. I also think that if Uzi does die, it will only happen in a physical sense. My logic being that since Uzi became N and V’s new Administrator in episode 5, she could continue existing as a voice inside N’s head (sort of like Zane and Pixel from Ninjago), which could also result in N developing Solver powers. Alternatively, Uzi just straight up dies and N has to live with the pain of losing two of his closest friends and his first and second loves… Not to mention the fact a dead Uzi gives the Absolute Solver the perfect ammunition to use against N in the future.

TLDR: That trailer gave me a lot of thoughts and with everything going on in real life, I haven’t been able to put them into text until now. Thank you for taking the time to read the inane ravings of a burnt out college student/part time shut-in. Likes and Reblogs are greatly appreciated…

…I really hope Uzi and N kiss in the season finale.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Ok but Wukong claims MK as Yubei's honorary/sworn older brother. Macaque who was in the room suddenly feels a cold swear as he Realized Wukong Sees MK As His Kid. His Clcub, who Macaque had chased fown and hunted like an animal in an effort to keep LBD's attention off of Wukong himself.

Macaque has that revelation loooong before Yuebei is born.

You see...

When Macaque was still processing that Wukong (his former mate) had been pregnant with the Egg for many many years - he had a brief brain-fart during "Shadow Play" and at during his panic he asks;

Macaque: "Is it my kid!? Wait..." *glares at MK really hard* "Are you my kid???" MK: "Wut." Macaque: "No, no, wait, thats dumb, it's the same baby now as back then. Sorry bud, but I am totally freaking out right now." MK: "Because you spent the last couple hundred years being a deadbeat dad?" Macaque, grabs MK by the shoulders: "YES!!"

The rest of the MKrew escape the Shadow Lantern simply because Mac was panicking so hard he dropped it. Even being super mad at him, they stay until he stops hyperventillating. In Mac's defense, he's not sure how long normal Stone Monkey pregnancies should be.

Even once the realisation kicks in that the "Egg" is a Stone Egg formed from Wukong being encased in the mountain without resources - Macaque has a second "crap Im dad" realisation when he realises that him abandoning/cutting-off Wukong back then is what triggered the process. He still wants to take responsibility for the Egg as it's indirect creator.

And ofc during S3, Macaque notices how protective/paternal Wukong is with MK and starts to realise;

MK might not be Macaque's kid, but Wukong certainly considers MK to be *his* kid.

Macaque has tricked, fought, and psychologically tormented said kid in his goal to either hurt Wukong or extract information.

Macaque is now being forced to capture said kid and/or Wukong for LBD less he suffers a fate worse than death. And while Macaque would hate to do either, he can't stand the thought of handing Wukong over. So MK is his primary target throughout S3, even if Mac tries his best to "soften the blow" if it were when he tries capturing him.

MK is super excited to meet the Egg when it's finally born, and is acting in a manner typical of an older monkey cub wanting to care for their younger sibling. It's too fricking cute and-

Well crap, now Mac doesn't want to turn the kid over. Mostly cus doing so will def hurt Wukong and make his King somehow hate Mac even more than he does now.

Maybe if they do get the Samadhi Fire, him and Wukong might- Macaque, begings violently batting away his talkative shadow clones: "NOPE! Get the heck out of here with that!! I'm just getting the Fire to be free of LBD's influence!"

And once Yuebei is finally born...

Wukong, talking to the baby: "Bao bei [treasure], this is your big brother, MK. Well, honorary big brother, but you get what I mean." MK, holding Yuebei: *is so happy he can't form words + is happy-crying* Macaque: *trying his best not to ask MK "hey, wanna be our son?", cus Mk has his adoptive dads + Mac thinks the kid hates him anyway* "Hah. Crybaby." MK, still crying: "Shut up. You cried when you saw her for the first time." Macaque, trying his best not happy-cry again: "She looks like me! Of course I'd cry - such a curse to place upon a innocent soul!" Wukong: *sighs fondly at the back-and-forth*

Mac's gut reaction is to insult others/himself when he feels emotionally vulnerable, and MK knows how to flip it around.

It very much becomes a "Dad treating his eldest son vs younger daughter" situation, especially if Bai He is thrown into the mix. Mac will 100% spoil his little princesses, but MK...

MK can handle it. He's Wukong's heir. He's ok with Mac only really being soft on him when no one else is around. Secretly Mac's kinda jealous of the dad-attention Pigsy, Wukong, and even Tang get from the kidm even though in his heart he knows it's unlikely MK will ever see Mac as a father figure.