#the dynamics in general is just iffy to me

[luminarytex]

wait purely out of curiosity can you elaborate on "certain ships of benchtrio" i dont really know what you mean by that lol

so ships like techno/ranboo, tubbo/schlatt, tommy/dream, etc etc

i’m just not a fan, especially since i’ve seen the beginning of those ships when they were still 15/16 i just don’t like it

however ships like tommy/jack or quackity/ranboo is fine idk i don’t know how to explain it lmao

[doctorbitchcrxft]

Emotions | Sam Winchester x Angel!Fem!Reader

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Angel!Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5521

Warnings: mentions of drug addiction, mentions of smut (MDNI this is an 18+ blog), mentions of iffy family dynamics

A/N: For this nonnie! I have a very deep love of music and a special connection with it, and pretty much all of my one-shot fics are gonna be titled after songs. If you'd like to connect with the music as well, here's a few songs I recommend reading while you listen to the chapter!

Emotions by Brenda Lee

In the Still of the Night by the Five Satins

Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene by Hozier

Snow Angel by Renee Rapp

Queue up on Spotify or your preferred streaming service, and happy reading!

General Writings Masterlist

Humans were curious. The more time you spent with them, the more you couldn’t understand why your father loved them so much. However, one human was beginning to pique your interest. His name was Sam Winchester. 

Your brother Castiel had been charged with rescuing Sam’s brother, Dean, from Hell. However, Zachariah had not given the word to begin the mission just yet. You, though, were charged with the care of Sam Winchester. 

He became interesting for a number of reasons. The Winchester boys had been of special interest to all of Heaven since their mother died in Azazel’s attack. You’d known of his existence and watched from afar as the sweet, intelligent young man became a cold shell of who he once was while his brother suffered in Hell. The demon Ruby— who you would be sure to kill as soon as you could get your hands on her— had been getting Sam addicted to the potent substance that was demon’s blood. If you had to compare it to a human drug, you’d heard many angels say it felt like a heroin addiction. 

Despite your disinterest in most of humanity, you were more compassionate toward them than most of your brothers and sisters. While some, like Uriel, were ruthless in their method to get humans on their side, you always took a more “humane” approach. No matter how many times humanity had broken your heart through their horrible mistakes leading to death and destruction, you still tried to show each human compassion. 

You watched from afar as Sam began to learn to exorcize demons with his mind. The experience was undoubtedly painful, and your anger with Ruby grew with each passing day. Always keeping your distance, though, because you knew now was not the right time to step in. Zachariah would give you the word when it was. 

You followed Sam down a darkened, busy street, keeping just far enough back that he wouldn’t be able to see you. He turned the corner onto what you assumed was another street, and you foolishly followed. Suddenly, you were pinned to the wall with a demon’s knife at your throat and an angry Sam staring down at you. 

“Who the hell are you?” the man spat, pressing the tip of the weapon into your throat forcefully. “Why are you following me?”

“Hello, Sam,” you said calmly. “My name is (Y/N). I’m here to help you.”

He scoffed. “What? Another demon coming to peddle your wares? I don’t think so.” The brunet stepped away from you and tried to exorcize you with his powers. 

You just remained still, large doe-eyes looking at him with a small smile playing on your lips. 

Sam then appeared scared. “What— What are you?”

“I’m an angel,” you replied evenly.

He laughed. “Right. C’mon, what are you really?”

You unfurled your large, beautiful wings and called upon a clap of thunder to ensure the shadow would be cast on the wall behind you. “I told you. I’m an angel.”

Sam shook his head. “I don’t believe this.”

“What’s wrong?” you asked. “Why are you angry?”

He spun around to face you. “Why am I angry? My brother’s been dragged to Hell, and you’re asking me why I’m angry?”

You continued to look at him in confusion. 

“I prayed. Every day for the last year Dean was alive. Why didn’t one of you answer?” he finished.

“It wasn’t the right time,” you explained. “Father wouldn’t allow us.”

“Well, fuck all of you guys, then,” Sam spat.

You were intrigued and confused by his intense anger. “Your prayers are being answered now. Isn’t that all that matters?”

“Too little, too late,” he replied. “Now, leave me alone.”

You stared after him as he walked away. Didn’t he want your help? Why was he angry at you when you were simply obeying your father? His prayers were being answered, and he was cruel to you.

That should have enraged you. However, it only intrigued you even more.

***

You knew Sam had not told Ruby he’d seen you, which surprised you. Everything about this man was surprising you.

While his addiction to demon blood was horrific and disgusting to you, you were surprised how much… empathy, you believed the feeling was— you were starting to feel for him. He’d undoubtedly been manipulated by the demon into that state of being.

His incredible strength both physically and mentally was impressive. While he wouldn’t last a moment in a fight with you or any of your brothers and sisters, he was skilled in many different athletic pursuits. His interest in different philosophies was curious to you as well; most humans you'd come across were set in their ways with no interest in different points of view.

After your last conversation with him, you decided not to intervene unless he desperately needed you. And now, he desperately needed you.

Ruby had either knowingly or unknowingly sent him into a death trap. While Ruby conveyed she believed only two demons to be hiding in a warehouse, an entire lair of at least thirty laid in wait for the young man. You knew you’d have to get involved this time, no matter if Zachariah approved or not.

You watched from the skylights of the darkened warehouse as Sam crept around with Ruby following closely behind. Your father willing, you’d slit her throat with her own knife.

You could see the other demons beginning to creep in around Ruby and Sam. Sam was the first to notice something was wrong and spun around to face the demons behind Ruby.

You used your powers to appear behind a wire rack covered with boxes to have the element of surprise with the demons.

“Hey there, handsome,” one of the demons was telling Sam.

Another snarled, “And Ruby. I thought Lilith got rid of you.”

“Apparently, she didn’t do a very good job,” replied Ruby.

The demons had Sam and Ruby back to back as they closed in their circle around the two.

Taking out your blade, you stepped out into the dim light, heels clicking across the floor. All of the demons turned around to face you, as did Sam and Ruby.

“Wow, Ruby. Seriously? You’re working with an angel?” a demon snickered.

You didn’t allow any of the demons a chance to get another word in. You appeared behind the demon who had the nerve to speak up and plunged your blade through its vessel’s back.

A few of the demons tried to escape by fleeing their bodies, but you forced them back in. While you were compassionate, merciful would not be a word used to describe you. When you were crossed, you didn’t play nicely. 

A few demons tried to charge you, and you immediately reached out to two, grabbed their hands, and killed them while you used your free arm to plunge your blade through the other’s chest. With, in all honesty, very little effort, you managed to make your way through most of the demons. With the mess of dead bodies sprawled across the concrete floor, it made it easier to see what was left for you to deal with. That was when you noticed Ruby was gone, but Sam was still there, fighting demons with his demon knife. 

A demon behind Sam was preparing to stab him in the back, but you threw your angel blade through the demon’s throat just in time to save Sam. 

Slowly but surely, you made your way through the remaining demons. Sam panted from exhaustion and the few wounds he’d sustained but still stood with his shoulders squared. “I didn’t need saving,” he huffed.

“I don’t mean to offend you, but yes, you did,” you replied evenly. “I will admit, I’m disappointed your demon friend left so soon. I was looking forward to formally introducing myself.” 

Sam laughed, somewhere between mocking and a genuine laugh. “You were gonna kill her, weren’t you?”

“Without hesitation,” you nodded. “I know what she’s been doing, Sam. I know what you’ve been doing.” 

“I really don’t think that’s any of your business,” he said, his voice cold. 

“It is my business.”

“How?”

“Angels are only sent to earth for their missions; unless they’ve fallen,” you explained. “Like I told you before, you’re my mission.”

“And like I told you,” he sneered, “not interested.”

“I don’t understand,” you stated. “Isn’t this what you wanted? I’m answering your prayer. I thought you’d be happy.” 

“I told you; too little, too late—!”

“I’m not talking about the prayers for your brother anymore, Sam,” you cut him off. “I’m talking about your prayers for yourself.”

That seemed to quiet him down.

“I heard you. The first night you drank demon’s blood, you prayed. That was when I was assigned to you,” you told him. “Some of the angels believed you were too far gone. I, however, was the one to ask my superior if I could help you.” 

Tears welled in Sam’s eyes. “Why would you do that? Why wouldn’t you save Dean?” 

“I wanted to,” you admitted, not quite understanding why you were spilling your secrets to a human.

He got angry again. “Why didn't you?!”

You tilted your head, eyebrows furrowing. “It is not my place to question my superiors. I serve Heaven first; not you.”

“Well, find some other way to serve Heaven. I’m not interested,” he grumbled, turning away. You noticed how painfully he rolled his shoulder.

“I can fix that for you,” you said, stopping him in his tracks. 

“What?” Sam turned back around.

“Your arm.” You nodded in its direction. “And those gashes. They look like they’ll get infected if you don’t let me help you.” You stepped toward him, and he remained still.

His impressive stature was incredibly intimidating to you despite your angelic status. You had never felt such a feeling; only when you were in the presence of the archangels. Whatever this feeling was, you didn’t think you liked it.

“May I?” you asked, hesitantly reaching your fingers out toward his arm. 

Sam nodded, face drawn into hard lines.

You closed your eyes as you touched his shoulder to concentrate on sending your healing powers through his body. You didn’t miss the way his muscles tensed momentarily before relaxing under your touch. 

“Thank you,” he said. 

You nodded. 

Sam hesitated for a moment before asking, “ What’d you say your name was?”

“(Y/N),” you responded.

***

You watched through the window of the cabin he was hiding in as Sam fought with Ruby over you. You expected Ruby to be angry, but you didn’t expect Sam to defend you. 

“She’s an angel, Ruby, she’s not here to hurt me,” Sam said, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“You don’t know angels, Sam. I do. They’re not the peaceful hippies the Bible makes them out to be,” Ruby snapped. “If she knew I was helping you, she’d probably smite me.”

“She does know,” Sam replied, almost too quietly for even your enhanced hearing. 

“What?! You told her?!”

“No, I didn’t, I—” Sam cut himself off, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “She just knew, somehow.” 

Ruby clearly didn’t believe him. “Somehow,” she scoffed. “And somehow, I don’t believe you.”

“Whatever,” Sam huffed. He suddenly caught your eye in the window but covered it up by quickly looking back to Ruby. “I think you should go.”

She crossed her arms. “Seriously?” The demon rolled her eyes and began to walk toward the door. “Goodbye, Sam.”

You invited yourself into the room. “Is she gone?” you asked Sam, appearing in front of him.

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, she’s gone.”

“Your motivations confuse me, Sam Winchester,” you stated bluntly.

He seemed to chuckle genuinely. “Why?”

“Do you not believe Ruby to be helping you? It seemed you couldn’t stand the sight of me less than twenty-four hours ago. Why would you kick her out after all that and cover for me?” you asked, head tilting in confusion.

You knew you weren’t supposed to question. You knew Sam was simply an assignment; there should be no desire for further questions exchanged. However, a nagging force in the back of your mind refused to let those questions remain internal.

“I don’t know,” he responded, seemingly earnest. 

Suddenly, a song began to play in the background. Your head turned to the source of the sound; a peculiar little box with a spinning disc on top of it. You swayed to the soft music emanating from it. “What is this?” you asked.

“Music,” Sam replied from behind you.

You turned to face him. “I know what music is, Sam. What is the little box?”

“A record player,” he replied, much closer to you than he had been when you first turned to the sound of the music.

“And what is this song?” you asked, dewey eyes shining in the dim light.

“Uh, one of the records they had in this old cabin. I think the band’s The Five Satins. ‘In the Still of the Night’,” he explained.

“I think I like this song,” you said, your voice taking on a peculiar lilt you’d never heard yourself speak with before. You suddenly realized how close Sam was to you and backed away. “Well, if you need anything,” you began, “I am never far from you.” And with that, you were gone.

***

“(Y/N)?” you heard Sam praying. “(Y/N), uh, I don’t know if you’re listening—”

With a quick flap of your wings, you appeared in front of Sam in his cabin. “I am,” you replied. 

“Oh, hey,” he snorted. He sat on the edge of his bed, rubbing his hands together and staring at the floor.

“What’s wrong?” you asked. 

“I don’t know what the right thing to do anymore is,” he admitted. Sam was suddenly embarrassed by what he’d said. “Uh, I don’t know why I said that…”

“Do not be embarrassed. I do not pass judgment on humans for their feelings,” you replied. 

That pulled a small smile from him. “Do you guys… not have feelings?”

“No,” you replied. “At least, I don’t think we do. Or, perhaps, what we experience as angels is too complex to be simplified into human emotion.”

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

“I believe I may experience compassion, but I am not merciful. Those two traits I have seen go together in human manifestations. My loyalty to my father is incomparable to any human form of loyalty. Most humans I have come across sacrifice their loyalties quite easily,” you explained thoughtfully. 

“And by your father, you mean, God?” he asked. 

You nodded. 

Sam hesitated before asking his next question. “What’s he like?”

His question caught you off-guard; it wasn’t something you’d thought about before. “Well, humans describe him as—”

Sam shook his head. “I know what people make him out to be. What do you say?”

That question startled you even more, and all you could answer with was the truth. “I haven’t met him.”

Now, it was Sam’s turn to be caught off-guard. “Really?”

You nodded. “I’ve been around just about as long as the planet, and I’ve never met him once.”

Sam considered for a moment. “And you’re still loyal to him?”

“Well, I don’t necessarily have a choice in that matter,” you replied. “I am an angel. I was created for the purpose of my loyalty to my father and carrying out his missions.” His questions were beginning to get under your skin, and you’d never thought so long about those things before. 

“Well, how do you know your orders come from him if you’ve never met the guy?” Sam continued to press. “How do you know somebody’s not lying to—”

“My brothers and sisters would never lie to me,” you cut him off. Perhaps this is what “offense” felt like? “I don’t believe lying to be something we are capable of.”

Sam took a deep breath and flexed his eyebrows. “Whoa, didn’t mean to strike a nerve, there.”

He did. “You didn’t,” you responded. 

A spell of silence was cast over you. 

“What’s it like?” Sam asked. 

You tilted your head in confusion. 

“That blind faith,” he embellished. “How do you do it?”

You shook your head. “I don’t know. I just always have. I am a Seraph; I believe ‘blind faith’ is my purpose.”

“Oh, seraphim’s a real thing? Are you guys the, uh, high-rankers?”

You nodded. “I don’t think of myself in terms of my rank, but I am superior to those in my garrison. My superior is Zachariah; the only one of us in direct communication with the archangels.” You felt yourself snap out of it. “I… don’t know why I told you that.”

“Well, I guess we’re even then,” Sam smiled. 

***

You began to see less and less of Ruby as days went by, and for that, you were grateful. It seemed she was only around for Sam to feed from her.

“What does she say the demon blood will do for you?” you asked Sam, sitting beside him on the edge of the cabin’s roof.

Sam gave you a curious look but answered your question anyway. “It’ll make me strong enough to kill Lilith.”

“And… why do you want to do that?” you asked trepidatiously. 

He answered your question quite blankly, staring ahead. “Revenge. For my brother.”

You nodded. “And what do you believe getting revenge will do for you?”

That seemed to challenge him. “I don’t know.”

“I have been with you since you were young, Sam. I watched you go off to college, I watched Azazel kill Jessica, and I watched every fight between you and your father.”

Sam turned his head toward you as you talked, a pensive look on his face. 

“And I think I decided that all of those fights between you two happened because of how similar the two of you are.” You turned your head toward him, the sunset casting a heavenly glow across Sam’s face. “This is one of those things you two have in common; vengeance. I cannot decide if that’s a good or a bad quality, if I’m honest.”

Sam huffed out a small laugh. “That’s fair.” His hair fell in front of his eyes as he looked down at his hands folded in his lap. His eyebrows drew together, and you just watched him carefully. “You’ve never wanted payback? Not even once?”

You shook your head. “That’s not part of my job. I am a warrior, but I don’t feel emotional attachment to my fights. And, rationally, I know revenge is pointless. It doesn’t change the past. It can only make for a worse future.”

Sam was silent for a moment. “Wow. For a… shiny, hard, plastic, emotionless angel, that’s pretty profound.”

You tilted your head in confusion. “I am not plastic or shiny.”

He laughed. “No, you’re not. Just an analogy.”

“You humans and your words,” you sighed. “The English language is by far the most confusing.”

“Why do you say that?” Sam chuckled. 

“I speak every language ever created, Sam,” you explained. “Even Enochian is simpler than English.”

The young man laughed. “For an angel, you’ve got a good sense of humor.”

You tilted your head. “I didn’t know I did, but thank you.”

***

It had been about three months since Dean’s sentencing. The angels began to talk about how he’d said “yes” to Alistair and was beginning to torture other souls in the pit. However, you knew it was best not to bring that fact up to Sam. 

The brother in your care was still not doing very well. His addiction was getting worse, and his anger at himself for not being strong enough to take care of his most recent demon hunt. You watched through the window as Sam and Ruby shouted at each other, and their anger eventually devolved into Ruby kissing Sam. 

You were stunned, and something you’d never felt before flooded your chest. Whatever this feeling was, you hated it. You backed away from the window you’d become accustomed to staring through and walked off. You felt your vessel stumbling rather than walking, and you were unsure why your chest hurt. You stumbled through the night forward against a tree and held yourself there. 

Whatever was happening to you, one thing was for sure that you could no longer deny: you were beginning to feel.

***

A few days went by, and you hadn’t seen Sam. In fact, you refused to answer his many prayers. He begged you to come to him and told you he didn’t know what he’d done wrong. Eventually, your resolve broke. 

“Hey,” he said, standing from his chair and seeming startled by your appearance. “Wh— Where’d you go? Why didn’t you answer?”

“Why did you have sex with Ruby? Didn’t you know I was watching?” you asked, large eyes holding a pleading innocence. 

Sam seemed caught off-guard. “(Y/N), I haven’t had sex with her in weeks. Wh— Why do you care about that, anyway?”

“I saw you two. She kissed you. I know what comes after that, Sam, I’ve been around for thousands of years,” you continued. 

Sam shook his head. “She kissed me. And then, I pushed her off. I haven’t seen her since.”

You tilted your head. “Why did you do that?”

“ ‘Cause. I couldn’t do it,” he shrugged. 

“Why?”

“ I’m not into voyeurism,” he smirked. “I knew you were watching. I haven’t had sex with her since you showed up.”

You thought for a moment, realizing he was telling the truth. “Oh.” Was this feeling… relief?

Sam gave you a curious look, and you averted his gaze. “Why’d you wanna know?”

You shook your head. “Not important. How have you been these last few days?”

“Honestly?” He scratched the back of his neck. “Not good. The addiction… it’s, uh—”

“Bad?” you asked. 

“That’s putting it lightly.”

“I’m sorry,” you told him. 

“ ‘S not your fault,” Sam shrugged. 

“That is much different from what you told me when we first met,” you said. 

Sam snorted. “Yeah, I was angry then. Now, I know you.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest, and you were surprised at the feeling. 

***

You hummed the tune of “In the Still of the Night” by the Five Satins, a song that Sam had introduced to you. 

The man in question sat at the cabin’s kitchen table hunched over his laptop. Sam had suggested you come inside with him since you’d be keeping an eye on him anyway. You told him if Ruby came, you’d kill her, but he just shook his head. “If she knows you’re here, she’s not coming,” he’d told you. 

“You’ve got a pretty voice,” Sam commented. 

You stopped humming. “Thank you. When the cherubs in my garrison were young, they liked when I’d sing to them.” You resumed your song. 

A few minutes went by before Sam spoke up. “Can I ask you something?” 

You stopped humming again and nodded. 

“Why haven’t you gone after Ruby yet?”

Before you could think, you answered, “Because I knew it would upset you.”

A small smile tugged at the corners of Sam’s lips. “I appreciate that.”

You smiled in response. 

“That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile,” Sam told you. 

You continued to stare at him with your dewey doe eyes. 

“Can I ask you something else?” 

You nodded again.

“Whose body are you in?” he asked. 

You hummed as you thought. “I’ve been with her for centuries. She was being abused by her husband and begging for a way out. You see, angels have to get consent from their vessels. She wanted me to use her body to carry out my father’s mission.”

Sam nodded. 

“I quite enjoyed her company,” you continued. “I’ve never told any of my brothers or sister about this, but the day her soul moved on was the first time I ever felt something like… sadness.”

“So, angels, is it like demons where the vessel’s soul takes a back seat?” Sam questioned, his interest seeming very genuine. 

You shook your head. “Not with her, it wasn’t. She could force me out whenever she wanted, but she told me she preferred my company to that of her husband’s.”

Sam nodded but seemed pensive. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“Nothing,” he replied. “It’s just… It’s a lot to take in.”

“I can understand that.” You paused for a moment. “I don’t think I’ve ever spent this long in the company of a human; aside from my vessel.”

“Really?” Sam asked.

You nodded. “I was taught not to spend time with the humans I was charged with. We were always told that the more time you spend with them, the more you become like them. And if you’re a human, you are flawed. You can’t  truly live in service of my father while human.” 

“That sounds kinda fucked up though, (Y/N),” Sam told you. “I mean, don’t you think it’s… restrictive? Limiting?”

You considered. “I guess so. But… I’m sure my father had good reason. He wouldn’t try to hurt us.” 

“I don’t think he would, either,” Sam told you. “But I do think he did that for self-serving reasons.”

You stared at him, waiting for him to elaborate. 

“He creates these… beings— you and the other angels— to bend to his every whim. Think about it. He makes you emotionless, so you don’t question his ‘will’ or… rebel,” Sam explained. “He needs you to be perfectly loyal.”

Sam’s words swirled around in your head. “You’re confusing me,” you said, breath quickening.

Sam shook his head. “I’m not trying to. But you’re smart. I’m just trying to make you think.”

“No human has ever challenged me the way you have,” you responded. “I appreciate it.”

“You do?” He seemed genuinely surprised.

You nodded. “I’ve been around a very long time. Things can get monotonous. It is… refreshing to meet someone like you.”

The corners of Sam’s lips turned upward.

The two of you went back to silence, and suddenly, Sam was up and running to the bathroom.

“Sam?” you asked, running after him.

When you got to him, he was hunched over the toilet bowl vomiting. 

Hesitantly, you reached toward him and began to rub small circles over his back. You remembered your vessel telling you that’s what she’d do to her children when they were sick. 

“It’s okay,” you said softly. “I’m here.”

When Sam was done, he slumped to the floor, curling up into a ball. Sweat covered every inch of his body, and he began to shake feverishly.

You knew it was the withdrawals from the blood after not seeing Ruby for days. You wanted nothing more than to help him through it, but your healing powers couldn’t assist with demonic workings of any kind. What you could do, though, is put him to sleep. You ran your hand over his hair and got up from the floor.

After grabbing a blanket off his bed, you brought it back to the bathroom and sat back down beside him. When you’d tossed the blanket over him, you helped Sam rest his head on your lap. Then, you went back to running your hand over the brunet’s hair and used your powers to put him to sleep. His shaking subsided, and his breathing relaxed. You stayed with him through the rest of the night.

***

When Sam woke up laying against you, he immediately seemed embarrassed. He jerked back from you. “Oh, uh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay,” you said. “It’s what I’m here for.”

Sam leaned forward hesitantly. He kept pausing as his face got closer to yours, seemingly to ensure you weren’t uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable wasn’t quite the word you’d use; there were a million thoughts running through your mind. And yet, you couldn’t string one coherent sentence together. 

You tilted your chin up, and it was all the confirmation Sam needed. His kiss was gentle when he first connected your lips. You responded, almost completely frozen, but still moving your lips in time with his.

Sam’s kiss got more desperate, and he pulled you across his lap, wrapping his large hands around your hips and back. 

And then, he was gone. You were confused only momentarily as you became aware of Zachariah’s presence in front of you.

“I know what you’ve been doing, (Y/N),” Zachariah chastised. 

You hung your head in shame. “I’m sorry, Zachariah. I let myself get too close to Sam Winchester, and—”

Zachariah cut you off. “Yes. You did. I’m disappointed in you.” He stalked around you, his multiple sets of wings encircling and taunting you. “You were one of my best, (Y/N). And now, I’m going to have to let you go.”

Your eyes widened, and you looked up at your superior. “Wait, please! I’m sorry!”

He patted your cheek. “I know you are. But you turned your back on us, (Y/N). You turned your back on our father.”

Tears welled in your eyes. 

“Ah! That. That, right there.” He caught the tear on his first finger as it slipped down your cheek. “Feeling. Feelings are human. You’ve changed, my dear sister.” 

“I’m sorry,” you cried softly. 

“I told you that Sam Winchester is a lost cause. I knew something like this would happen, but you? You didn’t listen. Goodbye, sister.”

And with that, you were sent barreling down to earth. The fall was incredibly painful; your wings feeling like they were being burnt off your body, each feather leaving ripples of searing heat in its wake. 

Nothing could stop you barreling toward the earth. The speed of your fall began to take a toll on you, and your vision faded to black. 

***

You woke up flat on your back in the middle of nowhere. Your limbs ached, and your vessel’s body was undoubtedly broken. Using your weakened powers, you healed your body enough to be able to stand. When you’d gotten your wits about you, you would heal yourself completely. 

You walked through the woods you’d landed in the middle of. The morning sun was still rising, the birds chirped, and light streamed through the trees. All at once, the reality of your situation hit you, and you cried.

You cried for your brothers and sisters you’d never see again; very few ever came to earth. You weren’t sure how you’d get to Sam without your wings, but you needed to see him. This feeling of need was still foreign to you, and you couldn’t decide if you liked how it felt.

All that time you’d spent in service of Heaven and of your father, and you were cast out as if you didn’t matter at all. You knew getting so close was wrong, but you hadn’t expected such harsh treatment. In all your years of being alive, you had never made a mistake. And after just one, you were kicked out? 

On the other hand, though, crying was freeing. Maybe Sam was right. Why would your father restrict you from feeling?

For a moment, the world was quiet. All you could hear was your soft sniffles, the birds chirping, and the wind rustling the leaves of the trees. You took a deep breath, and for the first time, life felt beautiful.

***

Sam was praying to you, and you had no way of responding to him. Slowly but surely, you were making your way back to him. You could feel his soul calling to you, and it only spurred you on to continue walking. As an angel, you had no need for sleep or eating. And so, you walked continuously for five days; each step making Sam’s essence grow stronger. You could feel yourself getting closer to him.

“Hey, (Y/N)?” you heard Sam calling to you. “I don’t know if you’re even still listening to me, but I’m sorry for scaring you off. I— I shouldn’t have done what I did. Just… come back. Please.”

It broke your heart that you couldn’t get to him sooner, and you mentally begged him to wait for you. 

And finally, on the sixth day, you found Sam’s cabin. Joy and relief flooded your chest, and you smiled widely. You ran through the front door, and Sam jerked out of his chair with his gun in hand. When he realized who you were, he dropped his gun to the floor in surprise. “(Y/N)?”

“Hello, Sam,” you smiled, tears rimming your eyes.

“Wh— What happened? Why’d you leave?” he asked.

“I didn’t. Zachariah brought me back to Heaven, and… he took my wings,” you explained, looking down at your shoes. 

Sam’s confused and angry stare turned to his familiar puppy-dog-eyed stare. “What, why?” 

“I’m a fallen angel now. I betrayed Heaven,” you responded.

“By doing what?” he asked. “I kissed you, you didn’t do anything.”

“Yes, I did,” you assured him, stepping closer to him. “I started to feel. And… feel for you.”

Sam’s soft gaze flooded your chest with warmth. He used his first two fingers to tilt your chin up toward his and closed the space between your lips. 

You and Sam weren’t perfect in any sense. But you would take whatever you two were over your shiny, hard, plastic, emotionless past. 

Forever taglist is open; series rewrite taglist is closed!

[its-your-mind]

Some Thoughts on the importance of physical touch and connection for the Hells: A reflection on the new animated intro.

In general, I think the Hells are a really strange and special group, especially for a dnd party. They pretty much laid all their baggage on the table within the first week of meeting each other (What the Fuck is Up With That?) almost as a litmus test: "hey, here's all the shit that comes with being me, last chance to run away if that's too much."

and none of them did. and they all kept choosing to stay, even as shit got even weirder and more and more disturbing answers came to light. I think that continued choice from all of them - to stay - is what makes the bonds between the Hells so deep and so special.

okay trauma analysis and party dynamics is a DIFFERENT POST but it was all RELEVANT INTRODUCTION bc the CHOOSING TO STAY and the KNOWING EACH OTHERS' SHIT are like. key components to understanding why I am so feral about this. okay hopefully you will understand. the body of my essay is below. it has pictures. it got... too long. so. it went under a read more. yw. anyway click below if you want a very detailed analysis of an animated intro that is literally only one minute and thirty seconds long

For the first bit, character intros for Fearne, Orym, Imogen, Ashton, there’s no physical contact.

BUT. First intro of hells as a team. Ashton Trauma Flashback interrupted by laudna approaching slowly from beside him with her hand gently in front of him to signal her presence without startling him, and THEN just talking at them. Bringing him out of those flashbacks. Reminding him where he is and who he’s with.

And tbh? For Ashton? Touch is always iffy, so this is almost a more understanding and kind way to bring them out of the flashback. Just physical presence is good! UNLESS. (unless) first actual touch. Fearne stealing their coin purse, so gently that they don’t even notice it (FLIRTING THROUGH THEFT callowmoore my beloved)

(also grabbed the cap that shows her with his coinpurse these fucking ANIMATORS)

okay pt 2 FLYING OFF THE AIRSHIP

Ashton's first instinct and priority is grab laudna’s hand bc he KNOWS she is made of paper mache and he is ALWAYS watching out for her out of the corner of his eye bc she is breakable and he’s not gonna let her break bc he KNOWS what it’s like to be breakable and need someone to catch you when you’re falling but ANYWAY. he grabs her he uses his hammer as a fulcrum to throw her at Imogen

because OF COURSE he knows that the safest and most comfortable space for laudna is in imogen’s arms. and the two of them wrap their arms around each other and hold tight Superman style bc ofc they do and once laudna is in imogen’s arms she’s absolutely delighted by this whole situation bc OFC SHE IS

(tf do you mean I can’t add more than ten images on mobile UGH fine I’ll finish writing then draft and move to PC the images are IMPORTANT TO MY POINT anyway insert lesbians here) (note from future mind: I have decided that these pic descriptions i left for myself to grab the right images are fucking hilarious so they’re staying in yw)

Then fearne (who had been on her way in that direction already) swoops under Ashton to catch him as he flips over from the momentum so he can land on her giant bird back and she can fly him away.

(Pics: It’s fine to touch Ash if you’re saving their life)

(also not pictured: chet staying on the ship but losing his hat, orym grabbing it out of the air, imogen casting fly on fcg right before she catches laudna, fcg flying over to grab orym) All of this happens in six seconds by the way. One round of combat. These animators are fucking incredible.

BACK TO CHARACTER INTROS laudna who is ofc alone and in the dark at the bottom of the Sun tree, reliving her past…

(Pic: sad lonely laudna)

right up until Imogen puts her head on her shoulder, and the darkness burns away into light. She doesn’t say anything, or talk with laudna - all it takes is that physical reminder that she’s not alone anymore, that there is warmth, that she is surrounded by a family who loves her so much they chose to turn down comfortable beds in a lord’s manor so that they could join her in sleeping at the bottom of the Sun Tree. (Fav lil detail - fearne wrapped around Orym like he’s a teddy bear, and holding tight to laudna’s blanket to make sure she can’t go anywhere.)

(Pics: THE POWER OF LESBIANS AND FOUND FAMILY)

fcg. Fuck. Starts with their flashback, with their red eyes and their buzzsaw, but almost immediately we see Ashton reach out to grab their shoulder and Orym whip out a vine to tie up their saw.

(pics: reaching out even if it might hurt youuuuu)

Imogen goes on her knees and wraps her arms around FCG’s other side, and the rest of them all gather around him, holding him to keep him and each other safe, but mostly just grounding him in the present by surrounding him physically until the flashback fades and he’s once more aware of his surroundings.

(Pics: what the fuck they just need to be held)

(once shit has calmed down fearne uses this opportunity to pick Ashton’s pocket again. Flirting through theft).

(Pic: fearne is a menace to society)

final fight scene. fuck yes.

(Pic: IT’S THURSDAY NIIIIIIIIIIIGHT)

This is mostly just giving all of them room to be badasses (as they deserve) - but there are some things!! First!!

(pics: THESE WITCHES BE BITCHES minus fearne sry fearne we miss u but you are on fire and laudna is made of wood currently)

Imogen and laudna casting spells back to back, trusting each other to take care of what’s on their side. Inseparable, even in a battle where their party has scattered to fight other enemies.

BUT. The BIG thing though in this sequence. Maybe my favorite part? Idk I don’t have a favorite. But!! Orym. taking out four of Otohan’s shadow knights. then facing off against her personally!! And it’s one-on-one, because this was Orym’s task alone - to find the person who attacked his leader and killed his family. He’s angry, but mostly he’s honed-in and focused and determined. This is his mission.

(Pics: WHO’S JUST A LIL GUY NOW HUH)

But then, when Otohan pushes him back…

(Pic: fuck. shit. fuck. im. fine. anYway. them.)

FCG and Ashton are there right behind him, and they put their arms out and catch him so he doesn’t fly back any farther. And there’s this look of surprise on his face, because once he lost Will, he never expected there to be anyone else standing behind him, ready to catch him. And yet, here they are.

(Pics: fuck yes fuck yes fuck yes GOOOO ORYM!!!)

They give Orym a push forward and follow behind him, and he walks back towards Otohan with confidence. Lil grin on his face, brisk walking pace - he even does a little fancy sword swoosh! Because maybe he’s not strong enough to take out Otohan on his own. But the thing is, he’s not alone anymore.

(Pic: THEY.)

None of them are alone. And whenever any of them forget, or slip into old habits and memories, the rest are right there to reach out a hand to remind them.

Building a family out of broken pieces is difficult even without an apocalypse. But the Hells have shown each other, over and over and over, often with their actions even more than their words, that they really are dedicated to this family that they've built together. This intro fucking slaps so hard and the animators deserve so much praise for how incredible this intro is

[prettyoddfever]

re: the Fever-era stage gay routines

I'm integrating a previous post into this one so I can cover all of the pre-split years and everything in one place. Again, I'm iffy on the term "stage gay" but idk how else to describe it so here we go.

So Brendon said this quote in 2018: "For our first headline tour I would go up to Ryan our guitar player, and like kiss him on the neck or kiss him on the mouth and he would be so mad. I was like, I just want to kiss you bro."

Ignoring all history & precedent of the way that Brendon tends to exaggerate for effect and often goes for the general idea & how he feels at the moment when looking back rather than actual specific facts... he's still talking about the band's first headlining tour in April 2006. And yeah, that's the only season where I think this quote MIGHT be plausible. If the situation actually played out exactly as Brendon says, then of course that's not ok. But you still can't project that scenario onto literally every part of the Fever era or form your entire perception of a whole era (or an entire work relationship) off of one single interview quote from years later. That's going to leave you with an incredibly distorted understanding of the band's dynamics with each other & fans, Ryan's input and stage presence, and what's actually going on in the pictures you're looking at. Like people are clearly missing so much context if they're able to look at a picture of the IWSNT mic-sharing from summer 2006 and think that it was one-sided sexual harassment (or some kind of actual Ryden thing).

THE EARLY MONTHS

So the guys weren’t super close onstage in late 2005… they were mostly trying to figure out how to even be onstage lol. They watched the bands they were touring with and learned as they went. You could almost see little pieces of each band’s influence show up for a while. Brendon totally modeled himself after Jason Vena in early fall 2005, and then he had clearly been watching William Beckett closely in early 2006 (that influence carried on throughout the year). It was also interesting to watch Brendon navigate what he thought fans wanted or expected when he was an 18-year-old boy thrown into an international spotlight with girls (and boys) screaming “f— me!” at him (one example). It really looked like he learned to play into a role (this is included). And I mean that in terms of being a popular frontman. That’s not even taking into consideration the actual way that Brendon needed to adopt a persona onstage throughout the whole Fever era. Look at the type of songs he had to sing. Both Brendon & Ryan talked a lot in 2005-2006 about how Brendon needed to get into a character onstage to deliver the risque lyrics.

The types of halfhearted moves that Brendon started to make on Ryan by the end of the Truckstops & Statelines tour looked like he was just following the example of bands he’d been watching on tour. Brendon started making bigger moves on Ryan in April once P!ATD had to step up their game for their first headlining tour (which happened 8 months after they played their first show ever). That UK tour had some shows that were bigger than the first half of the summer tour in North America. There were times in 2006 when I felt like P!ATD was more of a UK band than American partially because of how intense the frenzy was over there.

Brendon was still testing different stage personas and figuring things out during this season, and the band still felt like 4 separate guys trying to find their footing. They were talented & good, but there was absolutely a huge shift in the band itself once Jon arrived in May. They finally felt like a strong united group. They went back to their practice space for a while in May to figure out the details of what they wanted their band to be like onstage, rehearse with their two new touring musicians + Lucent Dossier, and re-learn updated versions of their songs. The last half of the Fever era was polished and very intentional... they felt like a different band by June in many ways.

THE SUMMER TOUR

I thought this seemed like the picture that really got the Ryden craze going in summer 2006 (before fans had totally decided on the “Ryden” name – some were saying “Bryan”). It was taken a few days into the summer tour:

There were a ton of new fans arriving during the summer tour, so that picture formed some first impressions. By this summer many fans would basically only ask people to describe the moments when Ryan & Brendon came near each other at a show and every look they shared. People who went to shows would mention how at different points they saw one of the four guys suppress a laugh when the crowd would positively scream if Brendon & Ryan came within two feet of each other.

The Panic guys were well aware of what their fans wanted and what was being said online (for better or worse). Yes, they got annoyed during the last half of the year when fans took things too far or were focused more on Ryden stuff than the music, but it seemed like they also wanted to have fun with a fanbase that they were being increasingly distanced from as they became more & more famous. There were quite a few stories of Brendon and Ryan playing up the Ryden angle at meet & greets throughout the last half of 2006 to make fans laugh or freak out (and Ryan initiated some of that, so it wasn’t purely Brendon). There's more in this post.

The point is that the shows in this tour were very intentional and felt more like watching a theater show than the type of band who interacted with their audience (which was a huge fan complaint this season tbh). Ryan was more confident & comfortable onstage with his new makeup, was actively engaging in mic sharing and playing into what the crowds obviously wanted to see, and seemed like he was largely in control of how the shows would go even if he still sometimes shied away from attention in general onstage.

Ryan & Brendon did continue some of their antics at random international shows in August & October, but it kind of seemed to depend on the audience. Those shows were also a different vibe from the national tours.

NOTHING RHYMES WITH CIRCUS

This season was on a whole other level, so here's a separate post that goes into important detail!!

^^^ seriously, please read.

The creepy leering character that Brendon was playing during the NRWC tour is obviously not his actual personality, nor his typical onstage character for the whole Fever era (although I did see hints of it return during the 2008 Halloween show when Brendon was in his vampire costume lol).

AFTER THE FEVER ERA

The band played a handful of regular shows in 2007 like any other band. They wore jeans and dropped the stage gay & makeup because those elements were part of the Fever-era shows and that era was done now.

Ryan did try to instigate parts of their former routine at the first show in 2007 before the band had found their new direction, though.

Brendon kissed Ryan on the cheek at Bamboozle 2007 when wishing him a happy birthday.

The Pretty. Odd. era was completely different on so many levels. Ryan & Jon largely ran those shows and the new music didn’t require a dramatic frontman in an entertainer/narrator role anymore. Ryan was WAY more confident onstage and would often stroll over to mess with Brendon or share his mic. Ryan was the one who often instigated any interaction. Jon even slapped Brendon’s butt at some shows. A lot of fans would claim that Ryan kissed Brendon’s cheek, but in hindsight I think it’s more likely that he was whispering to Brendon and knew that fans would get overly excited. Also, the moment where Brendon kissed Ryan’s cheek before Mad as Rabbits at Glastonbury was definitely not the norm.

ABOUT THE ROUTINE "RYDEN" MOMENTS IN 2008 (not on the same level as 2006, but still pandering to what fans wanted).

COMMON FEVER ERA MOMENTS

a few examples...

MISC. THOUGHTS

The point of this post is to show that the endless pictures that some people might share of "Ryden" moments or "Brendon sexually harassing Ryan" are often like the same points of the same songs on different nights, or just taken out of context of the actual Fever era. To be clear, I’m not attempting to excuse/explain every single thing Brendon ever did in this post, or attempting to speak for Ryan... idk what he was comfortable with or everything that went down between them.

However, I do think that people who assume Brendon forced Ryan into anything (in any aspect of the band) don’t understand their work relationship or the pre-split band’s dynamics & who had the power. That band was waaaay different than the one that Brendon had in later years. Back then he wasn’t really in a position to pressure Ryan into anything creatively-speaking (more info here). Ryan was shy in interviews, but he was in no way a pushover within the band… and to assume something like that kind of discredits his massive contributions. With the amount of control that Ryan had, I just really don’t think he would have let something so prominent get worked into the shows if he wasn’t ok with it in the first place (let alone instigate it himself sometimes).

Ryan talked a lot in the pre-split years about how he really wanted to challenge fans, push boundaries, do something different, shake things up, and keep experimenting instead of settling into a rut of what was comfortable/familiar. In a Danish interview in October 2006 he said "we do not want to be a safe band, neither with our songs nor our shows."

I thought the stage gay element seemed to loosely fit into those goals & ideas. But at the same time, I don't think it was ever that defined. It felt like it was just a random fun thing & wasn't that deep. Spin asked Ryan if he and Brendon were toying with the idea of bisexuality, which was a bit annoying because their antics obviously weren't that legit or a Serious Statement. I liked Ryan's answer:

[automaticdata]

I like FH (though I prefer the toxic variety) but I just have to say, Scott letting Jimmy kill him in Limited Life is not some grand gesture of affection. He'd refused Jimmy earlier, and only agreed to give Jimmy time after he was under 30 minutes. In the same episode he gifted Jimmy 30 minutes, he also took an hour off of Jimmy's life by killing him. (Honestly, neither benefited; they both ended up with a net loss of 30 minutes from their killing/being killed by each other that ep.)

Even before I discovered toxic FH fandom, I was super iffy about all the FH fanfics I found, despite liking the ship, because they didn't feel like Scott and Jimmy, and stuff like this is why! Scott isn't some grand martyr who selflessly sacrifices everything for Jimmy's sake. He teases Jimmy about being a toy ("But I want to play with you, Jimmy") and makes the threat of an arrest into something flirty ("handcuffs? =D"), tells Jimmy he's a "snack" when he's a vampire, says only he's allowed to be mean to Jimmy, etc. That's the dynamic I find appealing - Scott flirting with Jimmy and Jimmy getting flustered and not knowing what to do with it. But that's not the dynamic that exists in, like, 90% of fanworks about them.

It feels like to me that the fandom has seized on the dynamic of super-competent person falling in love with borderline-incompetent person, and just ... stripped most other traits away from the characters. Like, where is Jimmy struggling to be skilled, to be acknowledged, to be respected? Who is this person who has replaced him, who is basically a doormat for everyone, who has accepted his role in the universe of being cursed with misfortune? Where is Scott loving social games, having fun teasing people, and generally being fun? This is the guy who had a blast being an evil vampire in AfterLife, who usurped a cult in X-Life, and who built a black market in Empires season 2.

Like, I know some people seem to legit have problems with toxic FH, but I feel like these posts that praise a dynamic that FH never had are just as damaging to the ship. It makes FH into something that, in fandom/fictional terms, I find worse than toxic - it makes them boring.

[the-s1lly-corner]

ok so hear me out. what about father!masky hearing that Toby is dating daughter!reader.

A teensy bit of NSFW would be fine, like hearing that Toby stole his precious daughter's V-card. (+ and how Toby ended up taking it but that's just a + if you're feeling generous.)

(MASKY AND READERS RELATIONSHIP IS COMPLETELY PLATONIC AND FAMILY-LIKE!!!!)

Father!Masky reacting to child!readers partner being Toby!

Was really debating on whether or not I wanted to answer this since personally I'm a little iffy on writing romantic stuff with toby but I think. Since its not the center piece (?) Of this request I'll let it slide this time

With that said I will say, I'm not sure if my take on the masky/toby dynamic is accurate to most peoples takes since I havent really. Seen much current fan stuff, havent really interacted with the fandom outside of fanart n stuff since 2015 so UHUH!!

Quick warning first portion of this is the admin rambling about their hcs about masky and toby before getting into the actual reader portion; they havent had the chance to talk about their creepypasta hcs in a LONG time 😭😭

Not touching the virginity thing, though sorry anon

Okay the authors note was getting too long but more on how I view the toby and masky dynamic given how I write both characters in my hc/au!

Toby does still try to piss off masky, i think. Since hes just generally an ass and there isnt much else for him to do..

You see I'm still trying to figure out how I wanna write masky and hoodie, since I do wish to honor their roots from MH and mesh together the source with the creepypasta fandoms take.. still trying to hit a balance.. might save that for another post, though! But I do wish to incorporate tim and brian into this as their own thing in my hc I'm just not sure how... anyways summary of what I was gonna say, before I deleted it; masky and hoodie arent around 100% of the time, only really when they're needed or called for. Hoodie is around more, though

Toby, on the other hand is around as a proxy 100% of the time considering. You know he krilled his shitty dad and set his neighborhood on fire

Basically there aren't many opportunities for these two to interact but when he does toby is probably shoving masky, probably trying to snag his mask, ect ect basically doing anything to find a way to entertain and stimulate himself, and that just so happens to include fucking with his fellow proxies

Masky, at least in my writing, is fairly stoic... or at least he keeps his emotions hard to read and every now and then he can be a little unpredictable. Call it a byproduct of being mentally worn down by slenderman in order to work with him, or something

Holds little to no reaction to Toby's antics, actually the only time theres anything dished back to him is when he tries to make a grab for the mask

VERY protective of his mask

Okay moving onto the actual request; regardless of how you end up being his kid.. whether it be found family or biologically.. he would try to be the very best dad he can be.. bonus points if you're a proxy as well, I think you two would train together

Call it a family business/j

I could joke about masky krilling for you, but.... considering that these are creepypasta characters... I dont think it would be a joke

Only saves that for if someone physically harms you though

Dating wise I dont think he would care..

Until he finds out who

Really?

That asshole?

When you tell him it's very hard to decipher his reaction.. hes just

Still

And the mask isnt helping at all

Watches toby like a hawk. Like if this were genuinely any other person I think masky would do some basic sleuthing to see what kind of person your partner is before backing off... but given that he has a personal history of toby being a nuisance, he's more on the fence

Now do I think he would forbid you from seeing him?

Honestly, I'm not entirely sure. I mean yeah sure, toby makes his job harder.. but has he really done anything that warrants that? Does he even have the right, even as your father?

You know that meme from monsters uni. Where sully is glaring down at mike while they're walking

That's basically masky and toby after he finds out

Not many thoughts here, I think

[lizzzybooo]

Ok this is going to be a controversial hazbin hotel take (or maybe not I wasn't in the fandom when it peaked maybe it's everyone's take) but I just really don't like the way Charlie is treating Vaggie.

I mean I think they're super cute and I love them both but Charlie sometimes acts so self centered with her. Like putting her on the spot asking her to lead the trust exercise, but immediately making her feel bad for the way she does it. And ok fine whatever I can kinda overlook that part though it immediately felt iffy to me, but the way she was mad at Vaggie for not telling her about her past (which is a valid reason to be mad!) but then was saying "I tell her everything, how could she do this to me?" or something like that, I mean?? Vaggie loves her SO much I think Charlie definitely sees that even in the middle of this, and the fact that she didn't ask herself once in those scenes "how is it possible I never asked her enough about herself all these years we've been together to find that out?" Because I mean if you tell a person everything and they share nothing about themselves that should be a point for concern along the way, and I'm pretty sure Vaggie would have told her if Charlie took enough interest in her life.

And generally throughout entire season, Vaggie just loves Charlie so much and sees it as her duty to make her dreams come true- which is of course, something she put on herself and is not Charlie's fault, but Charlie seems more than happy with this arrangement, either so oblivious to it (which is part of her self centered behavior) or worse, is aware of that and is too comfortable with their dynamic to do anything about it. Charlie shows like almost zero interest in who Vaggie is, what her dreams are, what she thinks or how she feels. And I really don't think she has any bad intentions, and I know a lot of other things are going on, but it really rubs me the wrong way.

And even after that, there was no acknowledgement of how hard it probably was for Vaggie to lose everything she knew, everyone she probably considered her family that were so quick to cast her aside, and instead her trust issues were treated as a ~quirky~ little personality trait (and I know they probably didn't have time to delve into that, but they took the time to show how caring Vaggie was towards Charlie and her family problems, they could've shown some reciprocation at least).

And honestly I wouldn't have a problem with that necessarily, for example I don't have a problem with how toxic Blitz and Stolas are in Helluva Boss, because I see how it contributes to the story and to their personal character development, and it's very much acknowledged and is part of the narrative, but here it feels like Charlie x Vaggie are treated like this perfect power couple and their only problem is Vaggie lying, like, no???

Maybe they'll dive deeper into it next season idk, but it just left a bad taste in my mouth

[vampireistic]

chapter 44 nb spoilers ♪(´ε｀ )

i sincerely loved this chapter despite it feeling a little short — it’s always comforting to see the brothers genuinely happy when it comes to being together as a family; no demeaning digs at one another, just pure and unadulterated “bliss” (we’ll ignore the mammon bullying for now…)

here are some of my fave lil moments and my rants about certain aspects of the story because solomon is brainrotting me at the moment with all his mystery.

leviathan’s bliss is him sharing his interests with his family and then indulging his delulu behaviour feels like solmare is pulling an aristotle and trying to put a mirror up to society; man, i get it, we’re losers. he’s my fave little freak sometimes (also is this one of the longest rambles he’s given in game….)

favourite screenshot. this man is the definition of burning down the world for one person. also i adore the dynamic between him and the mc where they just prefer to tease him and act dumb/oblivious so he actually has to verbalise how much he loves them LMAO

satan doesn’t deny being in bliss BOTH because he’s surrounded by his beloved cats and his beloved family. he CAN’T even say anything because he knows the truth will come out anyway so he wants to save himself the embarrassment…despite it being very evident on his face as pointed out by leviathan.

i think i’m just little too in love with the idea of a heavily morbid MC, because my initial thoughts behind this falling off the railing scene was that mc’s idea of “bliss” is the adrenaline before death — i mean…it’s not really too far fetched, is it? our silly sheep basically knocks on death’s door while holding a freshly baked pie.

it’s been drilled into memory at this point that a writer chooses to add certain seemingly insignificant scenes to a story for a reason. they could’ve easily not had this, could’ve been replaced by something much more lighthearted and dumber, kept the same available brother interactions and moved on — but there’s certainly a reason why MC is being presented as vulnerable and in need of “saving.”

hey, solomon.

what have you done.

what do you MEEEAANN if you COULD you WOULD have come with us?? just what or WHO are you afraid of — or worse, what being did you offend to get you potentially banned??? this whole thing about solomon and babel has been gnawing at me.

so he’s the only human right now aside from the MC that knows of it’s existence and the general history despite it being only known by the royal family and high ranking angels — yeah okay, a bit weird but this man started a whole war with the devildom by himself and won mind you, so far nothing too bad i suppose. he then takes us to the location, admits he’s actually never even been there himself despite lying to us that he’s a practical expert (another okay…moment, solomon is known for being rather elusive) but then he just disappears soon as we enter babel?

hey buddy, what.

solomon’s entire situation has been so…iffy and weird ever since we “returned” to the “original timeline/present”. i refuse to believe this man upon return to the present day, decided to sneak off into the human world to find “special ingredients for experiments”. SOMETHING is wrong.

[anime-chick]

YYH live action - disappointments and highlights!

disappointments:

off the bat - it's five episodes and the pacing and storylines are squished, but you just have to accept these limitations and embrace this for what it is - MOVING ON

the music - it was generic and had some weird choices and overall didn't feel very cohesive?

hiei's zoomies - the sound effect when he's going fast is a bit cartoony in a bad way

3 times the cgi was noticeably iffy: genkai's younger face, when yusuke and kurama went into the mirror of forlorn hope, the blooms coming out of karasu

skipping over hiei and kurama's backgrounds - this is what made me think this series is more for yyh fan than anyone else, at the very least i would think there would be some exposition about youko kurama or hiei being a thief

bui - he was flat and really just there for hiei to show off his dragon (which isnt a bad reason! but in comparison to karasu, he didn't have much of a personality, even after taking off his armor)

highlights:

fucking everything i loved it askldjhsdfg

SMILE BOMB!!!!

but really - kuwabara's introduction, yusuke's flying drop kick, it perfectly captured their dynamic

kuwabara in general, he was everything i hoped he'd be

the costuming: while there wasn't as much variety in what yusuke and co. wore, there were lots of details that made everyone's clothes stand out (the chains and lining on kuwabara's uniform, yusuke's cropped uniform top, everything hiei wore to the buckled strap for his sword in the back, kurama's magenta uniform with the gold lining that IS NOT his school uniform but just - something he wears i guess?? which makes it even more insane and i love that)

THE FIGHT SCENES, they put so much effort into each fight and you can tell and it makes the show stand out SO MUCH in comparison to other live action adaptations

the way they, despite having to condense so much of the story, managed to tell a very interesting and entertaining twist to the story without losing too much

hiei and kuwabara arguing - hiei going out of his way to tell kuwabara to get away from yukina <- i'm still laughing

speaking of - THE HUMOR, it was serious! it was funny! it did a great job of balancing out the two

the dynamic of the group is just like in the anime/manga (though we didn't get as much of them interacting as i'd like, we got some and i enjoyed every bit of it!)

karasu. he was creepy. he was gay. his eyeliner was sharp. his attacks looked awesome. his fight lived up to his anime counterpart

the toguro brothers. while we didn't get as much of a lead up, they were perfect. older toguro was straight out of a horror movie. younger toguro managed to be complex and not just a big muscular villain. there was depth to him that felt very authentic.

hiei diving off the tower, i really enjoyed seeing his demonic abilities on display (though where were his fire powers???)

YOUKO KURAMA. i was so worried he'd look terrible in live action but he was just pretty and fluffy and aslkdjhsdfg

hiei and yukina's reunion. awkward. sincere. sweet. sad. the fact that hiei was surprised yukina even spoke to him. i wanna squish the two of them

everyone was beat to hell, their clothes were crunchy and gritty and i like that no one was left 'pristine' like in so many other shows - these boys got nasty

everything honestly just everything i watched the entire five episodes grinning and having a blast

controversial opinion:

i like kurama's wig. i said it. yeah. i do.

[level2janitor]

Diceless skills

the more i run and play RPGs, the more i start to be skeptical of dice. i like dice - i like rolling them, i think there's a whole lot of areas where they make a game better. but i'm skeptical about how they're the assumed default for how you resolve stuff.

ramble about ttrpg design under the cut

the way D&D handles skills is simple: you roll a die. if it's a big enough number (modified by the difficulty of the task & how good you are at it) you succeed. if not, you fail (usually meaning nothing happens). what this amounts to is a random chance to fail.

there's storygames that use more nuanced mechanics - no null result! rolling low is less 'total failure' and more that some twist happens. that can be more interesting. (i'm not familiar with a whole lot of storygames, so this is an oversimplification based on my limited knowledge, correct me if i'm wrong)

now these generally work fine for what those games are trying to do. they use uncertainty to generate drama: oh, shit, i failed the super-important deception check to convince the guards i'm a harmless merchant, now the situation escalates. perfectly good mechanic for your standard 5e campaign.

but that kind of stopped working as soon as i branched out into OSR games.

see, dice fill a very different role in an OSR game. these systems are designed with high lethality in mind - your fighter has 1d8 hit points, a sword deals 1d8 damage, you just die at 0HP. if you run them like 5e, you start killing PCs left at right and it can be very demoralizing.

the intended playstyle is, instead, that the players circumvent die rolls through cleverness - once combat starts, your fate is in the hands of the dice, so you make plans that avoid combat or swing the odds so far in your favor that the risk is worth it. so the dice still feel like they fill a good role, making combat deadly and unpredictable on purpose to set that dynamic.

this breaks down when you use the same logic for basic task resolution. most OSR games don't have skills, but i often see the misconception that you're supposed to use raw ability checks instead or the GM makes up a success chance on a d6. these fundamentally do the same thing as a traditional roll-to-win skill system: make luck a factor in basic task resolution.

the problem is OSR games have such high stakes in the form of very possible character death that involving luck in basic task resolution can be disproportionately punishing. "you failed the stealth check, roll initiative!" works alright in 4e or 5e where combat is the game, but in the OSR that's a line you very rarely want to cross.

(this is also why old-school D&D isn't my OSR of choice, since the thief just makes a bunch of tasks into die rolls with abysmally low success chances you'd never want to rely on)

instead the expectation is the GM is both generous and transparent with task resolution. most things should be a success or not doable; if something has notable consequences or is iffy enough to require a die roll, the GM should tell the player what is at stake before they commit to taking the action. (die rolls still have a place in terms of risk management but i feel they should be opt-in.)

this has worked pretty well in my games, but i missed skills as ways to differentiate PCs and allow specialization into different areas. it's a lever for customizing your character that i really like about D&D, helping two members of the same class feel distinct. so the best skill system i've found that still works well in this environment is this one borrowed from Joseph Manola:

Spending a skill slot on something means you are really good at that skill, and will always succeed at attempts to use it (emphasis mine) except under severely adverse conditions. If you have the Climbing skill, for example, you can automatically climb any normal surface you encounter, although doing so quickly or quietly might still require a Dexterity check.

it's a houserule i put into my Grave campaign for my home group and a core mechanic for iron halberd, and everywhere i've put it, it's run smooth as butter.

it feels like it slots into the OSR playstyle so, so much better than the old-D&D thief skills. die rolls are almost a punishment, so why bake them into the task resolution players use when playing as intended? the diceless skills are instead a reliable tool in your toolbox, and problem-solving with them should be rewarded.

i've also worked out what i think is the ideal number of skills for an average PC - two. less than that feels highly restrictive, while more than that feels like you have everything you really want for most PCs (thus devaluing PCs that spec into having more than two). i let players drop an attribute by 1 for an extra skill or vice versa, to allow for some PCs to be more skill-focused than others.

other variations on this idea include Dice Goblin's time, gear, skill system. i like this one because it's easy to houserule in a way for a player to double down on a skill - spending 2 skills on the same skill just lets that skill count for 2 requirements instead of 1.

overall they've been fun to use and players feel good using them. they do lose that drama aspect, but i find it easy enough to create tension in other ways in an OSR game. i might even try putting them in a non-OSR game because they've just worked really well.

[lostfracturess]

hey! :) your writing is so good dude.

i’m on ch. 8 of symptoms and causes… holy moly… (i’ve commented on a number of chapters, each time with a summary of my thoughts and praise, if you wanna check that out, no pressure tho:) but, if i were to give a brief summary of my summaries? it would be something like, good writing (always enjoy your nature descriptions in particular), thoughtful plot and characterization (i can tell you do your research and or have experience in the sciences/uni), grey’s anatomy meets jjk fanfiction. oh. and crack. it’s crack for my brain.

hopping into inbox right here and now, because i am wondering how you feel about another writer (aka me) taking inspiration from your work, and writing + posting their own fic inspired by yours, with idea credit? i toootally get if this is iffy or unwanted! just say the word and it’s v much respected. just wanted to check in with ya first :). i hope you’re doing okay and able to rest! excited for any fic you write in the future.

- m

hey m, thank you so much for your message and the incredibly kind words about symptoms and causes. i'm so glad you're enjoying it !! i really appreciate you taking the time to comment on the chapters. i've read them all and i love them, i just haven't found the time to reply yet, but i'll do that very soon :))

as for your question about taking inspiration from my work, i'm a bit torn. it's amazing that my writing has inspired you in that way. however, i'm not comfortable with the idea of someone writing a fic that closely mirrors the core themes and plot points of symptoms and causes. 

i understand that there's no copyright on the general surgeon gojo x student reader trope, but the combination of the neurosurgeon setting, the power dynamics between the characters, and the exploration of drug abuse or something similar are integral to the specific story i'm telling.

i hope this doesn't come across as rude, but i've poured a lot of time and heart into the story, and it holds a special place for me. i'd really appreciate it if you could respect my feelings on this and explore other ideas for your writing aside from this. i'm sure you'll create something amazing, no matter what you choose to write.

thanks again for your message, and have a lovely day !! <3

[paragonrobits]

its suddenly occured to me that as soon as Simon Petrikov makes an official return as feeling like a member of the main AT cast in his own right, Jake is no longer present. It's still unclear how much of it is Jake having retired prior to his death, or if he was already dead by the events of Obsidian, but it feels like Simon has taken up the role Jake originally occupies.

Essentially when you look at Simon's events in Obsidian and the apparent role he seems to have among the bigger Finn-PB-Marceline-Simon party and group dynamic, he shares a LOT of surprisingly similar traits with Jake:

EXPERIENCED PARTY MEMBER: Jake isn't the oldest member of the group by any stretch, but the other characters TREAT him like he is; he's generally considered to have the most life experience, and he is often treated as being the wisest one. How much of this is objectively true is up for debate and a question for how much of it is just character viewpoints coming in, but Simon definitely has the most life experience. It's arguably one of his more defining traits, since having so much of it against his will is one aspect of the crown. Simon is also a pretty dang smart and emotionally intelligent person, though he doesn't acknowledge it.

THE DAD GUY: In the sense of 'being an older guy that the other characters talk to for advice and reassurance that can be relied upon to solve problems'. Jake isn't precisely a father to Finn in particular by any means, but he IS an older brother who can sometimes come off as having raised Finn, and he is definitely a dad. (Admittedly only for... well, a day because the Pups age weird, and it clearly bothers him, but it still counts.) As for Simon, him being a Dad is probably the thing that most hammered down his characterization and redefined him to such a colossal extent that Simon Petrikov overnight went from being the tragic origin of the Ice King to 'HOLY FUCKING SHIT HE WAS MARCELINE'S REAL DAD!!!!!', with all the implications of his character since. Simon is a dad, and his role as a dad underpins so much of what he seems to value and want more than anything else.

HYPER COMPETENT IN SPECIFIC FIELDS THAT FEEL MORE MUNDANE THAN THE OTHERS: Finn hits things and does Dungeon Adventure stuff. Princess Bubblegum is practically a text book mad scientist alight with the maddening light of GENIUS ITSELF. Marceline, interestingly, comes off very heavily as a parallel to Finn and Jake as a combo package, but the thing that characterizes Jake and by extension Simon for this argument is that they don't do the fancy stuff the other characters do. Jake hits stuff with his magic powers, but in practice he's a pretty blunt force person who doesn't do much of anything outside that, and Simon is notable in that he comes off as being kind of a useless weenie who THINKS he's a useless weenie... until the call of danger comes, and he abruptly shifts into overdrive and almost effortlessly solves the problems he faces without hesitation or any self preservation. In Obsidian he arranges a big calvary team completely on his own, off screen and without prompting, and in Fionna And Cake we see more of this. Simon THINKS he's useless while Jake doesn't care, but both of them are startlingly hyper competent in the narrow field of 'its kinda boring compared to the others but they do it'.

MORAL AMBIGUITY: This is probably the most potentially contentious one, but bear with me. Jake has an established history as a thief and general Dude Doing Crimes, and its not particularly clear if he stopped because he regretted it or just because he became more responsible for Finn. He doesn't SEEM like he regrets it in the slightest, either. Throughout the series it's a running theme that while Jake is generally wiser he's also way more prone to saying messed up stuff or suggesting iffy things for comedic purpose or just on a whim; taken seriously, it can feel like Jake is straight up Chaotic Neutral without much interest in the ethics he does, just about caring about specific people and not much else besides that.

Now let's look at Simon. The current fandom vibe is 'academic weenie with a bubble butt that screams in danger a lot', and this IS technically true, but its not the whole story. Ice King WAS a villain, and genuinely the most recurring threat throughout the series, and while that was part of the crown, the other wearers show it doesn't come out of nowhere. The potential to be Ice King, the callous and destructive brute force, is part of Simon in a whole 'there's two people in the mirror, the one you see and the one you DON'T want to see' kind of way. But during the course of Fionna And Cake we see Simon abducting someone he hates to use them as a magical battery and when they die from it he's more upset about losing his chance and not that someone DIED, when he watches a parallel version of himself wither away he brushes it off as 'oh they were a bad Simon'. It's not implausible Simon did some... STUFF back in the days of the post-war world to ensure he and more importantly Marceline survived. He has a history of revealing that underneath his weenie exterior, he's a solid mass of cold metal that's like biting on tin foil.

All in all, it feels that as Jake has implicitly left the narrative, Simon has been neatly dropped into fulfilling roughly the same role Jake originally did to the rest of the group, or at least that Jake's general narrative purpose of 'does more wacky things for giggles' has been generally split between Finn and Marceline, while Simon has taken on some of his Experienced Family Member and Moral Ambiguity bits.

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

~*~

1. ITMF A) cheerleader Wei Ying!! And any game player lan zhan!!

B) Wei Ying appreciation!!Long fics appreciated. @whateverweilanlovechild​

1A)

drop the game by martyrsdaughter (E, 28k, wangxian, modern, romantic comedy, fake/pretend relationship, sports, cheerleaders, flirting, sexual tension, dom/sub undertones, compulsory heterosexuality, crossdressing, dub con, under-negotiated kink, consensual non-con)

leave all your love and your longing behind by ScarlettStorm (E, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Meet-Ugly, Panic Attacks, autistic lwj, neurodivergent wwx, the neighborhood asshole dog, if you’ve met one then you know, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Happy Ending, for everyone including the asshole dog, Eventual Smut, switch rights, Sex Toys, horny yearning, Masturbation) Wei ying is not a cheerleader anymore during the time of fic, but he used to be a cheerleader. Further, over the course of the fic he does some cheering and some gymnastics and lan zhan comes very close to having an aneurysm about it. (link in #3)

There’s a whole Sports AU compilation

1B)

some things go forward by everythingispoetry (T, 73k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hospitals, Teenage Drama, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending)

Waiting for Spring by thievinghippo (E, 130k, WangXian, Modern AU, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, slight angst, Happy Ending, for a baseball fic, there’s not a lot of baseball, Sports, Baseball)

🧡 I Don’t Want to Debut! by countingcr0ws (G, 56k, WangXian, Modern AU, Reality show, Idols, Actor LWJ, Forced Contestant WWX, Tencent’s 2021 Idol Producer)

~*~

2. I'm in the mood for... A wangxian / yuri on ice crossover fic. Like, wei ying getting over his fear of dogs with the help of makkachin? A wangxian victuuri double date??

prompt meme time, anon, you're effectively out of luck with already posted stuff. there's Son of a - ! by katnor (M, 604, Victuuri, Flirting, Jealous VN, jealous LWJ, Oblivious KY, Crack Crossover, KY's Stamina)

and ch 8 of Rivals AU Bonuses by lily_winterwood (Not Rated, 20k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Social Media, Multimedia, Worldbuilding Bonuses)

and if you read Spanish then

Love is in the Ice by Nimirie (Not rated, 2k, WangXian, Victuuri, Yuribek) and Bajo el árbol de cerezo by Zahiel (E, 83k, WIP, Victuuri, Yuribek, WangXian, Non-Traditional A/B/O Dynamics, Rape/Non-con Elements, Russian Mafia, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Angst with a Happy Ending, Romance, Forbidden Love, Mpreg, Miscarriage) look promising

and

Заходит солнце скоро by fandom Kumys 2020 (fandom_Kumys_2018), Neitent (T, 21k, Yuribek, Canonical Character Death, Background Character Death, Drama & Romance, Dead People, Jealousy, Hotels, Dracula Influence/References, Mysticism, Suspense) same if you read Russian, by which I mean these three don't look like multifandom ficlet collections. that's it, that's the sum total of works on AO3 that are both Yuri On Ice and MDZS/CQL.

~*~

3. Hi! Not looking for a specific fic but instead I was wondering if you have any fics in mind that are about LWJ dealing with anxiety disorder/social anxiety or generally being iffy about social situations. :') It could be in modern setting or canon compliant, both are fine. I just would love to find a fic where dealing with anxiety is one of the important parts of the story (doesn’t have to be the main focus). Thank you in advance!

in the shadow of moonlit flowers by Reverie (cl410) (T, 48k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, cloud recesses, NHS & LWJ friendship, developing relationship, LWJ pov, minor injuries, autistic LWJ, implied/referenced child abuse, aka YZY warning, genius WWX, light angst, hurt/comfort, WWX protection squad, WIP) I think this one should fit? it's been a while since I've read it and I tried skimming it to see but it's a bit long so I'm not sure😭 regardless it's still a great read!

Falling Headlong by floraidh (T, 35k, wangxian, modern, college/university au, skater au, first meetings, first kiss, getting together, autistic LWJ, drunkji)

untitled by brokke_inactive (T, 5k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, autistic LWJ, sensory overload, angst, snapshots, non-graphic animal death)

leave all your love and your longing behind by ScarlettStorm (E, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Meet-Ugly, Panic Attacks, autistic lwj, neurodivergent wwx, the neighborhood asshole dog, if you’ve met one then you know, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Happy Ending, for everyone including the asshole dog, Eventual Smut, switch rights, Sex Toys, horny yearning, Masturbation) I found it in a FF or itmf and i love it.

My Boy Builds Coffins by enbysaurus_rex (Not rated, 48k, wangxian, canon divergence, coffin maker au, YLLZ WWX, autistic LWJ, falling in love, hurt WWX, pining, deathscapes, farmer LWJ, burial mounds settlement days, tenderness)

💖 Minding series by WithBroomBefore (G, 85k, wangxian, canon divergence, what if WWX got therapy and recovery post-sunshot, trans LWJ) part three of the minding series by withbroombefore. Lan zhan is uncomfortable with social situations with the wider cultivation world and the jin in particular because he is frequently misgendered. Happy ending.

For a Good Time, Call by ScarlettStorm, 1st in series (E, 170k, wangxian, modern, getting together, pining, porn, onlyfans au, sexworker WWX, minor angst, mental health, therapy is good)

Many happy returns. by orange_crushed (E, 25k, WangXian, Modern AU, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Parent(s), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Past Suicide of a Parent, References to Depression, Anxiety, Therapy, References to Anti-Depressant Medications, Escort Service, Loneliness, Everybody’s Abandonment Issues, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Moving In Together, Oral Sex, Penetrative Sex, Hopeful Ending, Recovery, References to Escorting/Sex Work but No Actual Escorting/Sex Work)

sunflowersfield, this fic writer has lots of fics where Lan zhan deals with social anxiety

~*~

4. Hello!! Do you know any fics where WWX discovers that it was LWJ who kissed him in Phoenix mountain? Thank you!! 💜

There’s A Molester On The Loose At Phoenix Mountain!! by sweetlolixo (G, 3k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Humor, Crack, Romance)

~*~

5. Hi mods! For the next ITMF I'm looking for fics where it's shown that WWX was raised by Madame Yu! I feel like that fact doesn't appear enough on fics... So some stories where he has habits or things he learned from her, things he says, something he inherited from her or she gave to him, something like that :) Thank you!! @jiangclaritybell

the field meets the wood by astronicht (T, 7k, WangXian, BAMF WWX, slight whump, Ritualistic Self Harm, Canon Era, Tang Dynasty style, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, salt economics, Post-Canon, [Podfic] the field meets the wood by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona), [podfic] the field meets the wood by jellyfishfire) includes a list of the now-dead women WWX has learned from, including YZY

there are *two* stories about WWX, wielding Zidian, as the Violet Spider, a feminine-presenting superhero-of-sorts:

Anywhere you want, just not home by androktasia (T, 28k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Superheroes/Superpowers, Spiderman AU, Secret Identity, Grief/Mourning, Loneliness, Angst with a Happy Ending, Romance)

and

let your colours bleed and blend with mine by ravenditefairylights (T, 13k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Superheroes/Superpowers, Spiderman AU, Secret Identity, Angst with a Happy Ending, Romance, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Crossdressing, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, There Was Only One Bed, Fluff)

❤️ I Started From the Bottom/And Now I’m Rich by x_los (E, 57k, WangXian, WWX/Others, Mutual Pining, Marriage of Convenience, Arranged Marriage, No Sunshot Campaign, Fix-It, WQ Lives, Transmigration, Time Travel, Weddings, Sugar Daddy, Sugar Daddy, Black   Widow, Protective Siblings, Dysfunctional Family, Family Bonding, Sugar Baby, consort, Politics, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Crack Treated  Seriously) in chapter 3 pre war looks at yiling laozu wwx and realizes that he stole like half of his character from mme yu. It is. A more serious fic than it appears to be XD

~*~

6. Hi! Do you know any fics where wei wuxian's parents are alive but it still is based off the actual canon plot?

From the Warm Sun by sunshine_sparrow (T, 58k, WangXian, CSSR & WWX, CSSR & LQR, Discussion of Rape, Period-Typical Sexism, Mostly CQL but probably some MDZS too, Cángsè Sǎnrén Lives, Madam Lán Lives, Qingheng-jun lives, But WCZ Still Dies, Fix-It, Happy Ending, All Soft and Very Little Angst, the wens live, Yīn Iron, Good Person MY, Good Person LQR) only has Cangse Sanren alive if that counts?

Home is where your heart is Series by R95irth (T, 1.3M, CSSR/WCZ, JFM/YZY, WangXian, ChengQing, XuanLi, 3Zun, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst with a Happy Ending, Horror, Nightmares, Family Fluff, Found Family, Good Parents YZY and JFM, Consensual Underage Sex, Slow Burn, Slice of Life) Also, I hven't read this one but it looks promising

The Return of Cangse Sanren by milesofheart (T, 52k, WIP, WangXian, CSR/WCZ, Canon Divergence, CSR & WCZ Live, Angst with a happy ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Burial Mounds days, BAMF CSR)

~*~

7. itmf wangxian with no miscommunication happening in canon timeline if possible, but fine with aus too

hey I just met you, and this is crazy by KeriArentikai (E, 9k, WangXian, POV Outsider, Woke Up Married, married in vegas but with a twist, (the twist is that they totally meant to), Getting Together, Love at First Sight, LWJ Has a Canonically Big Dick, Size Kink, Dirty Talk, Coming Untouched, Unrealistic Sex, Wangxian Speedrun)

~*~

8. I've read stories many about EmperorLWJ/EmpressWWX but can you find stories where it is EmperorWWX/EmpressLWJ? Thanks

The Last Concubine by deliciousblizzardshark (T, 13k, WangXian, Royalty AU, Emperor WWX, Concubine LWJ, LWJ Whump, Forced Marriage, Starvation, Non-physical spousal abuse, Fluff and Angst, Doing the Wrong Thing for the Right Reasons, Happy Ending, WWX Takes Care of LWJ)

travelers through the empty gate by stiltonbasket (M, 44k, WIP, WangXian, Royalty, Emperor WWX, Mistaken Identity, Poor LWJ, Bookshop owner LWJ, Intrigue, Court Drama, Forced Marriage, Confused WWX, POV Alternating, Parenthood, Misunderstandings, Empress LWJ, Requited Unrequited Love, Fluff, Humor, Married Life, Angst with a Happy Ending)

A Flourishing Kind of Love by masked (E, 12k, wangxian, concubine LWJ, gardener WWX, court intrigue adjacent, historical inaccuracy, identity porn, romance)

Like wet earth after rain by jalpari (E, 20k, wangxian, bottom LWJ, getting together, prince WWX, emperor WWX, courtesan LWJ, identity porn, angst, pining, genre-typical worldbuilding)

Every River to Its Sea by knightcaptain (E, 17k, wangxian, emperor!WWX, courtesan!LWJ)

catch this manic rhapsody by anatheme (E, 23k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Emperor WWX, Power Dynamics, AU where the Yiling Patriarch became the First Emperor of the Cultivation World, he calls LWJ his Concubine Lan and baobei, Switch WangXian, Mutual Pining, Immortal WWX)

Conquering the Emperor by catbrainedschemes (E, 21k, WangXian, Historical, Imperial China, Emperor!WWX, General!LWJ, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Historically Inaccurate, Misunderstandings, Fluff, Eventual Smut, Light Angst, Slow Burn, Happy Ending)

Silver & Silk Series by farawayanddreaming (M/E, 55k, WangXian, Established Relationship, Emperor WWX, Concubine LWJ, Implied/Referenced Sex, Light Bondage, Devotion, No Plot/Plotless, vibes only, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX)

~*~

9. Hello, can you recommend plot heavy stories in AU setting? Like the plot is about politics, crimes, coup de etat, spy, assassinasion? It doesn't matter who's top/bottom.

mountains, we met by fruitys (E, 79k, WangXian, Historical, The Handmaiden (2016) Fusion, Enemies to Lovers, Misunderstandings, Secret Identity, Touch-Starved, Sharing a Bed, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Angst with a Happy Ending, falling for the person you’re supposed to be swindling: the love story, getting revenge on the people who manipulated you: the saga, and some cws……., Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Mental Health Issues, Emotional Manipulation, Blow Jobs, Rimming)

An Elegant Solution by giraffeter (E, 205k, niewangxian, canon divergence, arranged   marriage, friends to lovers, fix-it, everyone lives au, courtship, polyamory, smut) Canon-divergent au, super plot-heavy, incredible story.

🧡 Rule Number One: Never get attached. by KizuKatana (E, 130k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O, Criminal underworld  AU, Fluff and angst, Crime boss LWJ, Rouge criminal genius WWX,   Explicit Sex) 

Wei Wuxian’s Guide to Hacking for Fun and Profit by ArgentInferno (T, 150k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, modern cultivation au, Hacker WWX, neurodivergent wangxian, Therapy for the win, Fluff, Shenanigans, LWJ isn’t good with feelings, Fighting against corruption, Talisman-based tech, Getting Together, Slow Burn, shameless flirting) 

🧡 some life yet unspent by Fahye (E, 28k, WangXian, Background XiYao, Spy AU, Modern AU, 007 LWJ, Q WWX, Fluff and angst, Mutual pining, Injuries, Canon typical violence) 

Duel of the Twins by Theladyofravenclaw (T, 29k, WIP, WangXian, Star Wars Setting, Science Fiction, each chapter is intended to be a whole movie within a trilogy, Canon-Typical Violence, Mild Gore, mild body horror, Mentions of Suicide, But only in passing, please take that major character death warning seriously, Angst with a Happy Ending, Yúnmèng Siblings Feels, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Angst)

Hiraeth by cherrywhiskey (E, 155k, wangxian, modern, fluff & angst, friends w benefits, pining while fucking, falling in love, separation, getting back together, angst w happy ending, second chances, food as a metaphor for love, canon-typical Jiang family dynamics, fighting)

Pearls For a Funeral by ElDiablito_SF (E, 30k, wangxian, noir au, 1940s san francisco, rich widower LWJ, gumshow WWX, case fic, all the noir tropes)

~*~

10. Hiii do I have any fic recs in which wy hides his identity as ylp or just hides his use of demonic cultivation in general?

the identity shenanigans comp might have a few

This Tornado Loves You by FeelsForBreakfast (M, 8k, WangXian, Horror, modern cultivation au, Pizza Hut, Humor, Mistaken Identity, Modern with Magic)

Hear a song this deeply by so_shhy (T, 87k, wangxian, modern cultivation, music, kid fic, action/adventure, canon typical JGY behavior, slow burn, fluff & angst, happy ending)

Crazy, Rich Cultivators by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 13k, WangXian, Modern AU, Modern Cultivators AU, Idiots in Love, Misunderstandings, POV LWJ, his started as a crazy rich asians au but quickly got away from me, light moments of angst but mostly shenanigans)

~*~

11. Hi! I think this may be a In the mood for a fic so I wanted to know if there’s any fic where both Wwx and lwj die and are brought back ((no time travel and no modern setting tho)) also angsty

~*~

12. For "in the mood for" could you please recommend fics where lwj and wwx have a lot of...romantic tension? Basically a fic about how they are slowly starting to get more and more affectionate before they have established their feelings for one another. Like they get SO CLOSE to just kissing but they hold back a little? Thank you for your work!

speeding up my heartbeat by plonk (Not Rated, 24k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Gyms)

(I feel like this is hard because we all calibrate tension differently! I hope these recs can help!)

and there was only one tent by detectorist (E, 21k, WangXian, Modern AU, Canada, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Sexual Tension, Camping, Outdoor Sex, Blowjobs, Frottage, Car Sex)

The answer has always been yes by Magnolia822 (E, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Bisexual Male Character, Frottage, Sexual Tension, Unsafe Sex, Getting Together, There Was Only One Bed)

Your Blood on My Lips (tastes like a kiss) by scarletwanlian (E, 12k, WangXian, Modern AU, Vampires, Blood Drinking, Roommates, Monsterfucking, except it's monsterxmonster, Multiple Orgasms, Hand Jobs, Anal Fingering, Dom/sub Undertones, Coming Untouched, Sexual Tension, Resolved Sexual Tension, Humor, (or at least attempts lol), PWP, Vampire Sex, Vampire Bites, Banter)

Our Eyes on the Road by etymologyplayground (E, 22k, WangXian, Modern AU, PWP, Getting Together, Road Trips, Intimacy, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Humor, Banter, Oral Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Hand Jobs, Car Sex, Hotel Sex, Dirty Talk, Rimming, Coming Untouched, Sexual Tension, Come Eating)

Linger in the Sun by etymologyplayground (E, 39k, WangXian, Case Fic, Intimacy, Curses, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Cuddling & Snuggling, Getting Together, Romance, Sexual Tension, Scent Kink, m.. maybe??, its not as intense as a kink, wwx Loves To Teach, Fluff, Scars, Sharing a Bed, Nonverbal Communication)

Our Song by gusucloudbunny (T, 14k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, straight boy wwx, bisexual wwx, Heteronormativity, Sexuality Crisis, coming out to yourself, comphet, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Alcohol, Music Majors)

New Habit by Medegela (E, 10k, WangXian, Modern AU, Pining, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers, and they were ROOMMATES, straight boy wwx, Touch-Starved LWJ, Light Angst, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Dirty Talk, Flirting, and lots of hugging, Texting, mentions of lwj/others)

~*~

13. Hi!!! For the mext itmf can you recommend me a fic where wq and wwx is a friend (or bestie)? I like it when those two work together like a mad scientist or care with each other. It can be a story about that or their friendship only in the background. Thank you!!!

Always Be Closing by betts (E, 32k, WangXian, divorcing QingXian, Modern AU, America, Office, Kid Fic, Drunken Kissing, Semi-Public Sex, Sexting, Divorce, Falling In Love, Bank Robbery, Secret Relationship, Co-workers) it's a divorce fic between them with end game wangxian but I love how despite they're past they're still such good friends.

The Ballad of Hanguang-Jun and The Yiling Patriarch by Theladyofravenclaw (T, 40k, WangXian, ChengQing, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Burial Mounds Arc, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of Sorts, Humor, kinda just crack, Misunderstandings, POV Outsider, Crack Treated Seriously) 

Magical Mishaps by Theladyofravenclaw (T, 96k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, hogwarts au, misunderstandings, happy ending)

this Tumblr fic by hunxi-guilai WQ pounces upon WWX to deliver a medical hand massage (in part with the intent of teaching him to return the favor.)

Core-Thieving Hand by x_los (T, 5k, WangXian, WQ & WWX & WN, Body Horror, Fullmetal Alchemist Vibes, Nuclear Horror Vibes, Found Family, Neon Genesis Evangelion Vibes) showcasing WWX and WQ (and WN!) as Science Siblings; canon diverges in the middle of the core transfer, with the result that core research takes an even darker turn that nonetheless winds up saving more lives; an examination of the terrible decisions scientists face in wartime and living with the repercussions thereafter

💙 Wish I could forget the taste of your skin and the feel of your hands pinning me down by KizuKatana (E, 63k, wangxian, WQ & WWX & WN, modern w/ cultivation, getting back together, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, case fic, pining)

sort the whole thing out by el_em_en_oh_pee (T, 5k, WangXian, Epistolary, Relationship Advice, Advice Columns, Everyone Is Gay, (or bi. or trans.), Background Relationships)

sacrifice by quillifer (E, 9k, wangxian, ABO, heat/rut, bottom LWJ, omega LWJ, top WWX, beta WWX)

A Match In Hell by MxModern (E, 7k, wangxian, rape/non-con, modern, ABO, alpha LWJ, omega WWX, crime boss LWJ & WWX, enemies to lovers, rape, extremely dubious consent, dark wangxian, dead dove do not eat, suicidal thoughts, breeding kink, violence, semi-public sex, under-negotiated kink, light bondage)

We're Sex Positive In This House by MxModern (E, 9k, wangxian, modern, ABO, omega WWX, alpha LWJ, virgin LWJ, anal sex, mating cycles/in heat, light dom/sub)

Myopia by rustycol (M, 67k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, WQ Lives) Water Margin crossover; WWX, WQ, and WN are living incognito among a band of nomadic smugglers; they share quite a bit of medical, cultivational, and forensic shoptalk, including the Western theory of the Four Humors and how it compares to the Yin/Yang model. Unfortunately hasn’t been updated since June 2019

~*~

14. Hey! Can you rec some more stories of WangXian where WWX is living in CR with LWJ after being engaged/married. I'm kinda looking for angsty stories, so I guess I'd like to see WWX trying to adapt but gets punished for breaking the rules and becomes depressed. Thanks!

Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

Mourning Robes by Starlight1395 (T, 17k, wangxian, No Sunshot Campaign, Arranged Marriage AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Depression, dissociating, Mild Blood, Fluff, juniors idolizing WWX like he deserves, slowburn between WWX and Cloud Recesses, Hinted smut, Jingyi has a CRUSH, Supportive JC, Mojo’s Post)

Finding a Home by Duochanfan (T, 8k, wangxian, arranged marriage, light angst)

What Comes After Love by Rainbow_Horizon (T, 17k, WangXian, POV LWJ, Protective LWJ, LWJ Has Feelings, POV WWX, Sad WWX, Jealous WWX, Módào Zǔshī & The Untamed Combination, Post-Canon, Insecurity, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Break Up, Separations, Healing, Husbands, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, marriage issues, Marriage Proposal)

call my name (but only if you mean it) by sortablue (E, 27k, WangXian, Different First Meeting, Canon Divergence, Sexual Harassment, not between wangxian, Arranged Marriage, Strangers to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, WWX POV, Protective LWJ, Protective WWX, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Slight Role Reversal, Hopeful Ending) similar to Concord but goes in a slightly different direction

~*~

15. i have read "𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘴 " by naqaashi and it's simply my favorite mdsz fic. the new chapter five has just made me more insane for this fic. i'm searching for more fics with a similar plot i.e. time travel au where both wwx and lwj have returned to the past, BAMF wangxian, and not cultivation world friendly, very character critical

~*~

16. Hello again! It’s been a while but I hope everyone is doing well. For the next ITMF, could i get more stories where someone finds wwx wandering around either poor or sick after canon and takes him in? Like something similar to Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller or Story-Shaped by lingering_song. I’d really appreciate it, thank you 💜 @jikcf

hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (E, 23k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, discussion of canon character death, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Getting Together, Yearning, Literal Sleeping Together, Really Excessive Amounts of Hurt/Comfort)

Achievement Unlocked 🔓 by UseMyMuse (E, 49k, wangxian, ABO, transmigration, crack, sassy system, canonical character death, kidnapping, accidental child acquisition) Not exactly what was asked for, but the same vibe! Wwx dies in canon and transmigrates to another world with ABO genders. He wanders around as a lone cultivator until lwj picks him up. :)

a grain of millet drifting by RoseThorne (T, 7k, NHS & WWX, Assassination Attempt(s), Introspection, Regret, Travel, Post-Canon, POV Third Person, POV WWX, Ghosts, Reconciliation, Exhaustion, Pining, Pre-WangXian) I have one that might count. Nie Huaisang sends someone to shadow wwx, and protect him from assassins.

~*~

17. Hello, do have have some recommendations on fics where a) wwx is adopted by hualian from tgcf? Or b) fics where everyone around wwx is very protective of him yet he doesn't realize that or he doesn't feel like he deserves it? Thankss @scorpionical

17A)

Narrative of Strength by MeltedIceAngel (T, 34k, WIP, WangXian, HuaLian, Canon Divergence, Adopt WWX, Found Family, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective XL, Protective HC, Adoption, Kidnapping, Attempted Kidnapping, Serious Injuries, Angst with a Happy Ending, TGCF)

the hearth series by eccentrick (G/T, 65k, WangXian, HuaLian, Found Family, fluff with plot, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Disabled Character, Ableism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, slow burn found family, Adopt WWX, Married HuaLian, Post-Canon TGCF, Kid Fic, TGCF Spoilers)

🧡 The Red Ribbon by Xiao_Hua (M, 21k, WangXian, HuaLian, Canon Divergence, Ghost City, a bit of beefleaf, Immortality, Cultivation Partners, Juniors, XL and HC find a child who happens to be WWX, Fluffy wangxian, WWX is a Supreme Ghost King, First Time, TGCF)

Crown Prince Hua Wuxian by Bluemoonstarlight (G, 19k, WIP, WangXian, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, JFM and YZY Bashing, Bad Parents JFM and YZY, JYL Lives, Cultivator JYL, Supportive JYL, Protective JYL, Good Sibling JC, Protective JC, HuaLian Adopt WWX, Canon Divergence, Fantasy, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Sunshot Campaign, Grandpa JW, Grandma MNQ, Abusive JFM, Abusive YZY, Grandma BSSR, BSSR is WWX's Grandparent, WWX is BSSR's Disciple) a revised version of Crown Prince of Heaven and Ghost City, for anyone who’s missing that one

17B)

could you find a way to let me down slowly, if you're leaving baby let me down slowly by ravenditefairylights (M, 36k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Reveal, Implied/Referenced Sex, Miscommunication, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Hurt WWX, Mutual Pining, Unreliable Narrator, Self-Esteem Issues, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, Protective Siblings, Trauma, Slightly dubious consent, courtesy of drunk sex, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Phoenix Mountain, Chronic Pain, Getting Together, Fix-It of Sorts, One Braincell Trio, PTSD)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what  you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack,  whatever - it’s all good!***

[tonydaddingham]

another batshit theory for the ages...

though tbh it's just a summary that interweaves a variety of them. it's long and rambly im sorry

so @booksandmate added this increíble addition to what was honestly meant as a half-hearted shitpost, and then allowed me to pepe-silvia at them in their DMs, but it's been spinning in my head ever since - because if we consider if crowley had managed to reach ten before the lightning strike, and managed to control his temper... well, what would have happened?

but that's not necessarily what im looking at here, specifically. i am however gonna start with ep1 and the lightning strike, because im somewhat dogged by nina's words in ep6 that now suddenly feel like a healthy helping of foreshadowing:

that everything started with the locked-in-the-coffeeshop-incident, which of course was precipitated by crowley losing his rag, summoning (?) lightning, and it bouncing off the café.

noting a couple of things: the lightning definitely appears to originate from crowley, right? it may well be calling like-to-like, but either way the lightning starts in him, and we suddenly then have either a) a bolt summoned from the heavens, channeled through him, and hitting the café, or b) two bolts, one of which relays back and forth from the heavens, and a further bolt rebounded on the café.

but what... is the point? im relatively on the team that it could just be building crowley-lore, playing into the "crowley is a very powerful demon 💅" characterisation, and it has the ultimate byproduct of kick-starting the events of the s2 plot; like @booksandmate said, without crowley counting to ten and controlling his anger, we wouldn't have the above, wouldn't have nina and maggie locked in the café, etc etc. but.

this locking-in business could easily, i hubristically presume (albeit less exciting, admittedly), have been written as caused by something else, or not occurred altogether (and maggie would still have shared with aziraphale that she thinks she's in love with nina, gave her the LP etc)... so why specifically did it require crowley, and such a raw display of 'demonic' power?

with that in mind, do we assume it serves a different purpose, or at least has another layer? well, we collectively seem to be surmising the latter, given god's words in the job minisode:

do you know the rules of the heavens? did you set the constellations in the sky? can you send lightning bolts and get them to report back to you?

obviously the last two now, in retrospect, seem very significant in the context of what we find out about crowley in both s1 and s2; he created nebulae and hung stars and planets, and now can seem to summon lightning. i originally wondered if it were simply a message to crowley or at least the audience that god was still watching, and had not forsaken crowley at all, but i do now ponder if its something more.

the first one is iffy, but actually... well, it definitely seems that crowley has the better measure of heaven than aziraphale or indeed anyone else has - what its motivations and limitations are, to say the least. even his line about the bees; in this respect, he is deeply perceptive of the intragroup dynamic of heaven in a way that the angels are not. and then, if we hypothesise about crowley in a pre- to post-fall context, that he Only Asked Questions, an action that may turn out to have precipitated the Big Bad, then yeah - maybe crowley does in fact know the rules of the heavens, and learnt it the hard way.

and this doesn't even take into account the whole general parallel between job and crowley in receiving undue punishment "and not even to know why". whilst i do still hold that the minisode flashbacks may well be crowley's POV, that is largely irrelevant; we know crowley displaces his emotions surrounding the fall/god onto his plants in modern day, and we are immediately introduced to the minisode with the display of him doing the same to job's goats.

either way, i think that we can be reasonably certain that whilst maybe unintentional at the time, god's words were a direct mirror to events unfolding/character history revealed for crowley at the very least in s2. even if we step outside taking god's action/inaction literally in job, and see it as a parable, it's a lesson that sometimes suffering occurs for no reason, that the universe is not always explainable and certainly not always good, but trust in god and god's power. icky to think about, at least for me, but the same passage (job 41, god's answers) then brings me to my next thought: the matchbox.

i wrote a follow up to a fab post looking at where i feel the matchbox might come into play (specifically, job 41:19 that is inscribed on the side of it), but here is the précis of sorts:

given that the matchbox features the quote before being dropped in heaven, it was potentially placed there in the pub as a long-standing direction for gabriel 'for when the time came', a mark of omniscience

the passage itself may refer to the leviathan as per job, but imagery-wise refers to the heaven trial in s1, where crowley-as-aziraphale spits out fire at the archangels

it's the last thing gabriel reads before he heads down to earth. he still thinks it's aziraphale (ie. heaven is presumably not aware of the body-swap at that point), and so heads to where he knows aziraphale will be - the bookshop - to seek... protection?

if the message however was put there by god, who is omniscient (and the narrator of s1), they would have been directing gabriel towards crowley, not aziraphale... crowley who is homeless living in his car, but whose own last sanctuary is that same bookshop

and lastly, it seems that it's only crowley that is able to unlock gabriel's memories... we know that crowley definitely has some kind of hypnotic, trance-like power, and this might be key... especially as gabriel then starts recounting memories (and prophecies...?) that he wasn't present for - only god, job, aziraphale and crowley.

(tbh, i then wonder how far the 'signs from the almighty' might extend to buddy holly playing in that bar, for beelzebub to introduce the concept of music to gabriel, 'information in a tuneful way'.)

i also want to pay some attention to the 25-lazarii miracle, because im still obsessed by the idea that the miracle didn't quite work as intended, or at least not in the way crowley ends up describing in ep6. summary:

gabriel took his gabrielness and put it in the fly, and the fly followed him into the bookshop and continued to chill there quite happily for all of s2

michael and shax seem to be able to sense gabriel to varying degrees - michael in ep2, and shax in ep3 - where i think it's possible they're sensing the consciousness of gabriel stored in the fly. in any case, they are all able to perceive and acknowledge jim as a inconsequential human, which in any case goes directly against 'not noticing' him in that form

when aziraphale and crowley do the miracle, they hold hands with jim - where gabriel definitively isn't - and attempt to hide gabriel. but if gabriel isn't in there, and it didn't work on jim, and yet a miracle still registers up in heaven, what did the miracle actually do? did it hide someone else?

if god is somehow channelling themself through jim, as we see in ep2 and ep3, did the boys - in fact - hide god?

but then, now that im thinking about, would a miracle of that magnitude only take 25 lazarii? what if instead it's the son of god, who has the power of words to give eternal life? the power, when he returns, to grant humanity eternal salvation, or eternal punishment? john 6:68 (yes, the verse number struck me dumb for a minute):

hold that thought (sorry) for a minute though, because the lightning strike came before hiding anything... so, does the lightning serve a different purpose, in the wider narrative? well, let's consult matthew 24 and break it down:

lighting strike? ✅* (more on this later on)

carcass around which eagles (or vultures depending on the version) gather? im gonna hazard a ✅

or considering the more metaphorical:

sun shall be darkened, moon will not give her light? bit of a stretch, but darkness fell pretty quick in ep5, certainly more rapid than would be warranted for 6.30pm, and lasted that way, presumably, until the demons had all been eviscerated... so, tentative ✅ (though given the green lighting... it could have all just been the demons, sure)

stars from heaven, and powers of heaven will be shaken? not too sure on the stars, unless you potentially count it in with the above darkness thing, but the metatron making a surprise appearance would suggest that the powers definitely be shooketh ✅

if we look at verse 30, this suggests that this hasn't happened just yet; that whilst we may be gearing up towards the second coming, it hasn't actually happened*, and this is where we'll lead into s3.

but if we continue matthew 24 (discussed in this post and this post too by @paperbunny):

days of noah: okay so yeah this could well be a literal flood, and tbh i still think (i wear glasses, so full disclosure ok) that that little snippet behind aziraphale in the first link looks like an optical illusion of a flood, but the chapter continues to clarify a little more about what was happening before the great flood, that humanity will exist in a similar bliss until the second coming arrives... so, a tentative ✅

eating and drinking ✅ there is a lot of eating and drinking imagery in s2, no doubt, but i feel like the coffee and eccles cakes in ep1, before the lightning, play a potentially major part here* (again, more on this later on)

marrying and giving in marriage ✅ if you take into account the whole maggie/nina subplot, gabriel/beelzebub subplot, and then The Big One that is crowley's marriage proposal in ep6

one shall be taken, the other left ✅ 💀 i don't need to explain this surely

two women grinding at the mill, one shall be taken, the other left ✅ ...ish. grinding maybe as a reference to how maggie and nina end up in the café together, working together, then visit crowley and end up Not Getting Together for Good Reason, but where crowley leaves them is that maggie is back in the record store, asleep (and waiting for nina to heal)

but where i come back to the *s is twofold:

nina says eccles cakes would calm someone down. aziraphale seems to consider it, and believe her. he takes the eccles cakes with him, deliberately hands them off to crowley so he can open the door, and the last interior shot before crowley loses his mind is the cakes, untouched, on the table. we know aziraphale seems to have a knack for unconscious miracles/reality manipulation, so what if by believing the eccles cakes would in fact calm crowley down, they actually magically take on the attribute that they would calm him down? im calling this diversion-from-matthew-24 #1

and then the lightning strike itself; crowley fails to rein in his temper, and the lightning shenanigans happen... but matthew describes that it cometh from the east, and shineth unto the west... but in crowley's case, the lightning strikes the bookshop, which lies to the east (going by the compass in aziraphale's bookshop) (actually technically north-east i guess)... diversion-from-matthew-24 #2.

this where im wondering a few things, as a culmination of all of the above...

did god foresee a good portion of all of this, and the events that follow, and warn gabriel ahead of time to seek out aziraphale and crowley via the medium of the matchbox?

does crowley, having not eaten the cakes, summon lighting because he did not Calm Down, constituting as the first sign of the second coming - and was just a wee bit ahead of schedule?

and did he botch it, à la s1 baby swap, by it hitting the coffeeshop instead of the bookshop (going to the east, not the west)? and is the lightning reaching upwards towards the heavens significant?

did crowley's lightning summon jesus, yank his... spirit? soul? out of heaven, and bring it earthside, and it attached itself to jim, currently a vacant vessel?

aziraphale and crowley hide said jesus spirit inadvertently with the 25 lazarii miracle, expecting to hide gabriel?

when jim goes all purple-eyed-mystic-meg, is that jesus speaking? speaking as an omniscient being with his mother's voice, and prophesying the rest of the second coming with "a tempest... great storms"?

and yet, despite this, all the signs of the second coming continue throughout s2, and possibly even kick-start the last judgement, with the various mentions of people going missing? hell being understaffed?

if you've made it this far, kudos

[iamnmbr3]

❤️🧡💛

If you had to remove one major character from the series, who would you choose? What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with? What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?

1)

Oooh! Not sure! I think if Ron didn't come back or died in book 7 it could've been really interesting and would make for fodder for a nice AU. I also felt like Ginny's characterization changed a lot in book 6. I liked how she was written much better in book 5. So I wish book 5 Ginny could've been in book 6 and 7 lol. But yeah for real in general I think the characters in the series are overall interesting and dynamic and I like them and the narrative potential they have, even if I feel JKR doesn't always allow them to live up to that potential so there aren't really characters that I'd want to excise, even if there are definitely writing decisions I'd like to remove.

2)

I personally hate the theory that Regulus was forced into becoming a death eater. He literally had a little Voldemort mood board in his room. And he joined up when Voldemort was active and being pretty clear about what he stood for. Plus he seems to have liked his family - he painstakingly hand painted the Black family crest in his room. And we know from Kreacher that he very excitedly and enthusiastically talked about how wizards were going to rule over all the Muggles etc. Which isn't surprising given the family he grew up in. Acting like he was a soft uwu baby who never made any bad decisions and was forced into everything robs the character of agency and makes him far more shallow and less nuanced than he is. Which is such a shame. Because Regulus is fascinating. Let characters make mistakes and suffer the consequences. Let characters be flawed. Let characters be hypocritical and complex and interesting!

Something else that I don't feel as strongly about but am a bit iffy on is the idea that Harry literally became the Master of Death in the end of the series. Look, I've read some great and compelling meta on Master of Death Harry and I've also seen some fics that do it well. But generally speaking, it's not an interpretation I enjoy. I tend to prefer the idea of the Hallows as very powerful magical objects with a lot of mythology around them. (And possibly some connection to the Veil in the Death Chamber which may be what the "bridge" between life and death in the story is based on).

In general though I'm not thrilled with like the idea of them actually being three things that if united literally give the user power over life and death. To me that feels just a bit op to the point of being underwhelming (yes I understand I am saying this about the series with a magic luck potion and time turners). It's just narratively kind of uninteresting and unsatisfying to me and it feels way too abrupt to introduce it so late in the series since it fundamentally changes the world building, feel of the story and style of magic we see in the series. And it's just...usually not that cool to me. Plus, I don't think it's even really especially supported by the cannon. I think JKR's intent was to leave it ambiguous or even to hint that there is no such thing as a true Master of Death, and in this case I think she did a decent job of executing on that intent. That's just my read though.

3)

This is hard for me to answer because I'm very much of a ship and let ship mindset even when I don't personally back something. One ship that I haven't yet found content for that I enjoy is dramione. I've nothing against it, but I feel like a lot of dramione fic tends to reduce Hermione to a Mary Sue and get rid of all her complexity and flaws and rough edges, which is a shame. I feel the same about a lot of tomione fics too, which is also a shame because Hermione has a bit of a ruthless streak that could be very interesting to explore in that context if done right. Maybe I just haven't found the right fics tho. Also in canon, Lupin/Tonks. Just what? It always felt like it came out of nowhere to me and didn't feel like it had enough buildup to make sense. It always felt very weird and random and jarring to me.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Attention TADC fans!

I'm officially opening requests for characters! Below the cut will be my base list of rules in regards to requesting and that sort of thing!

To everyone who followed me for creepypasta, do not fret! Creepypasta is still this blogs default and I'm not going to stop writing it for the forseeable future, I will still be responding to creepypasta based asked in the meantime

oh also, im adding this right before i post this but i do have fluff alphabet requests open for creepypasta, but to my TADC fans, how do you guys feel about the possibility of me reposting that list and letting you guys ask for it? im still kinda itching to do alphabet stuff... let me know ! ill probably do it anyways but i want yalls input!

without further delay:

RULES:

please do not spam requests, i know it will be hard to enforce this on my end since i want to keep anon enabled since i know it can be intimidating to ask for stuff non-anonymously

since the main cast + caine only totals to 7 characters i will allow people to request the entire cast in any given request, WITH THE KNOWLEDGE that the more characters the shorter their list of hcs will be

please do not pester me to answer your request, i will very likely answer your initial ask. consistent breaking of this boundary will result in warning, and if further boundary breaking takes place, the request will be terminated

^SHOULD NOTE! sometimes tumblr eats the requests you guys send in so simply asking if your request made it through is 100% totally fine!! I'm specifically talking about people who try to pressure me to answer sooner, I want to make that clear because I do not want to discourage anyone from reaching out about that sort of thing

Reader is GN by default, you can request a specific gender but know it likely wont be important due to my writing style

WILL WRITE:

SFW, angst, comfort, hcs, short imagines and scenarios!

As mentioned I will do all characters, asides Bubble since I don't think there's much that can be done for them

Poly, LGBT, readers with disabilities and/or disorders (will let it be known here that i am in no way well versed in every disability/disorder, however i will attempt to do basic research for the request)

I am also comfortable with writing platonic requests and found family dynamics! I am not limiting myself and you guys to romantic stuff!

reader abstracting, while this may seem contradictory to some of the things in my will not write segment I have written about grief and loss before and I don't think it fully fits the category of what I won't write + death in general, so it shall get a pass

really there isnt much i will turn down that comes to mind, if something is breaching a line or making me uncomfortable i will let you know

reader inserts, ocs, and the like are all welcome here! im not too confident with oc x character stuff due to the simple fact that i fear i may interpret your oc wrong but i am still willing to try!

WILL NOT WRITE:

general problematic stuff is an immediate no

^so like, straight up abuse and abuse adjacent topics since as far as Im aware all the characters in TADC are adults (if I have that wrong please please correct me!!)

i am also iffy on yandere requests, this one is more on a case by case basis so please be sure to specify the intensity of it, since that will really be a make or break for whether or not if the request is accepted

NSFW, this blog is for the most part SFW. I occasionally vague certain aspects, however nothing is ever explicit. That's how far I'm willing to go with these things and I want to keep it that way

Full fledged fanfics; a lot of my scenarios/imagines tend to border on that just on a much shorter scale and in a slightly different format, but I am not totally confident in my ability to write proper fics :(

no graphic depictions of gore or self harm, and i ask that you keep that out of my inbox in general. topics like SH are allowed, however covering requests for the act of it as its happening is an automatic no (IE if you ask me to walk in on a character walking in during an act of self harm), the same applies to suicide

ADDITIONAL NOTES:

i have a nasty habit of not proofreading my stuff, so grammar and spelling mistakes are bound to happen unfortunately. this tends to be a worse issue when im posting on mobile (which i am doing less and less since i like typing on a keyboard more)

^ on top of that i struggle with writing, english is my first language but i have a hard time getting stuff out right on top of having dyslexia so please be patient

i typically tend to respond to requests fairly fast, typically within a day or two, though i do have some periods where it may take longer. (possible) same day delivery YAHOO!!

back to a forewarning, i have a habit of rambling and adding additional ideas and concepts into a request though for the most part i think i remain on topic (that just means you get a little extra content for your request ueueue)