#the dancing phantoms on the terrace do they get second hand embarrassed

[itspileofgoodthings]

I love the rhyming on ttpd. can only think of two examples currently but I know there’s more.

[goldfades]

★ dancing phantoms on the terrace; are they second-hand embarrassed, that i can't get out of bed? cause something counterfeit's dead; it was legendary; it was momentary; it was unnecessary ─── PB⁵

⟢ ┈ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 6.4k

⟢ ┈ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | you and paige have always danced around each other—an intricate waltz of unspoken words and fleeting touches, each step pulling you closer to the edge of something you both feared to define. but when your feelings finally bubble over, paige’s silence cuts sharper than anything you could have imagined. in the wake of her denial, you vow to let her go, but it’s hard to sever the bond when she keeps lingering in the corners of your world, drawing you back like gravity. what happens when you can’t be friends, but letting go feels impossible?

⟢ ┈ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | angst w/ no happy ending. weird fwb, cheating (kinda?), toxic relationships, emotional manipulation, unhealthy attachment, and cycles of miscommunication and unresolved feelings.

⟢ ┈ 𝐞𝐯'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 | this is lowkey just a word vomit... idk how to feel about it. i've been on an angst kick lately and i'm apologizing for this fic right now, it's EMOTIONALLY DAMAGING. um anyway, don't even ask how i am right now... enjoy?

The gym smells like worn leather and ambition—Paige’s favorite cocktail, if you had to guess. The echo of bouncing basketballs fills the cavernous space, and there she is, effortlessly commanding the court like it’s her birthright. You’d think the sight of her—golden hair slicked back, sharp focus slicing through the room—would dull with time, but it hasn’t. If anything, it’s worse.

You don’t mean to stare, but when it’s her, you always do.

“Hey,” her voice cuts through your thoughts, soft but with a rasp that’s always felt like a secret shared just between the two of you. Paige jogs toward you, her smile easy, but her eyes? Complicated. Like she knows. Like she’s always known.

“Hey,” you manage, though your throat feels tight, your body betraying you with a spark of something you’ve tried to douse for months.

She stops just short of you, close enough that you can smell the faint citrus of her shampoo. “Thought you were too busy to come by anymore.”

You shrug, trying to play it cool, but the weight of her gaze makes it impossible. “I’m not staying long. Just… passing through.”

It’s a lie. You’ve never been able to just pass through when it comes to her.

Paige grins, wiping sweat from her brow with the hem of her jersey. It’s a fleeting movement, but it leaves your pulse racing, and you hate yourself for it. She doesn’t notice—or maybe she does, and that’s worse.

“You’re a bad liar,” she says, her tone teasing but gentle. She tilts her head, like she’s reading something written on your face. “You okay?”

It’s such a simple question, but the weight of it threatens to shatter your resolve.

“I’m fine,” you say too quickly. Too sharply.

Her brows knit together, but she doesn’t push. Paige never pushes. It’s you who always falls, silently hoping she’ll be there to catch you.

But you’re tired of hoping.

“I should go,” you mutter, turning before the cracks in your chest start to show. But her hand wraps around your wrist, stopping you.

“Wait.”

It’s a single word, but it roots you in place, her touch burning like truth against your skin. You turn back to her, and for a moment, there’s nothing but the sound of your breath and the ache of everything you’ll never say.

And Paige, looking at you like she wants to say it too.

SIX MONTHS AGO

The party was already half a blur when Paige walked in, but her presence made everything snap into focus. You hadn’t been looking for her—you’d told yourself you wouldn’t—but there she was, a magnet pulling every molecule of you in her direction. She wasn’t dressed for the occasion like everyone else, no glittering dresses or expensive heels. Just a hoodie, sneakers, and that disarming grin.

You were nursing a drink, not for the taste, but for the illusion of control. People were scattered across the house in little clusters, and you were tucked into a corner of the living room, balancing somewhere between tipsy and regretfully sober. That is, until Paige caught sight of you.

Her gaze found you through the crowd like it was the easiest thing in the world, and you felt it—really felt it. That invisible thread between the two of you, taut and unyielding.

“Hey, stranger.” Her voice carried over the low hum of music and chatter as she slid into the empty space beside you on the couch.

You laughed softly, but it came out more nervous than amused. “Stranger? I didn’t know you even remembered my name.”

She tilted her head, her grin shifting into something softer. “I remember a lot more than that.”

The comment shouldn’t have sent a shiver down your spine, but it did. Paige had a way of saying things like they were just words when they were anything but.

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” you admitted, your fingers tightening around the red Solo cup in your hand.

“Yeah, well…” Paige’s eyes dropped to your drink before returning to your face, and it made you feel naked somehow. “Needed a break. Thought I’d find you.”

Thought I’d find you.

The words hung in the air, charged, and you couldn’t tell if she was teasing or telling the truth. Maybe both.

The night blurred after that, the two of you falling into a rhythm that felt far too natural for how often you tried to keep your distance. Drinks were passed back and forth, jokes were made, her laughter melted into yours. Every time her knee brushed yours, your pulse spiked. Every time her fingers lingered on your arm, your stomach flipped.

At one point, someone turned up the music, and people started dancing in the center of the room. You didn’t want to, but Paige grabbed your hand, her touch electrifying. “C’mon,” she coaxed, her eyes gleaming with something dangerous.

You followed, of course.

The two of you didn’t so much dance as sway, caught in your own little bubble amidst the chaos. Her hands found your hips, and she pulled you closer, so close you could smell the faint tang of beer on her breath. The way she looked at you—dark, intent, unflinching—made the air between you too thick to breathe.

“Having fun yet?” she asked, her voice low.

You nodded, though fun wasn’t the word for what you were feeling. It was something else entirely.

“Good,” she murmured, leaning in. Her lips brushed your ear as she spoke, sending a shiver through your entire body. “’Cause you deserve it.”

When you pulled back to meet her gaze, you saw it: the crack in her armor. That small, fleeting look of hesitation before she leaned in and kissed you.

It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t shy. Paige kissed you like she’d been holding back for years, and maybe she had. Your drink slipped from your hand, forgotten, as your fingers found their way into her hair. The rest of the world vanished, the party, the music, the people. There was only her—her lips, her hands, the heat of her against you.

Somehow, the two of you stumbled your way upstairs, her hand firmly gripping yours as she led you to a bedroom. The door clicked shut behind you, and suddenly it was just the two of you, no distractions, no pretense.

You shouldn’t have let it happen, but you did. And it wasn’t just the alcohol, wasn’t just the heat of the moment. It was years of longing packed into a single night.

When it was over, you lay tangled together, the glow of the moon casting soft light across her face. Paige was quiet, her fingers drawing absent patterns on your bare shoulder. You wanted to say something—anything—but the words caught in your throat.

“I can’t do this,” she finally whispered, her voice breaking the fragile silence.

Your chest tightened. “What do you mean?”

She turned to face you, and the conflict in her eyes was enough to make your heart ache. “I’m… I’m trying to focus on basketball. This—us—it’s too much.”

Her words felt like a slap, but the way she looked at you—regretful, hesitant, almost desperate—kept you from walking out right then and there. Instead, you forced a nod. “Okay.”

“But—” she added quickly, her hand finding yours, “this doesn’t have to be it. We can figure something out. Later.”

It was a promise she had no right to make, and deep down, you knew that. But when she kissed you again, softer this time, you let yourself believe it.

That was the beginning of the end.

Paige had a way of engulfing your life without even trying, and the worst part was, you let her. She wasn’t yours—you weren’t hers—but she consumed you, seeped into the quiet corners of your world until there wasn’t a part of you she hadn’t touched.

She made it look so easy, too. Like you were the one complicating things.

Every time you tried to pull away, she’d reel you back in with a text, a glance, a late-night phone call that started with “I was just thinking about you.” It was never enough to feel like a relationship, but it was always just enough to keep you tethered to her.

You told yourself it didn’t matter, that you didn’t need a label, that you could handle the messiness of it all. But then you’d see her with someone else at a party, her arm slung around a teammate’s shoulders, her laughter spilling over like champagne, and it’d feel like your chest was being hollowed out with a dull spoon.

Still, you stayed.

You stayed because of the way she looked at you when no one else was around, like you were the only person in the world who mattered. You stayed because of the fleeting moments when she let her guard down, her fingers lingering on yours a second too long, her voice soft when she whispered your name.

And you stayed because of the promises.

“I just need time,” she’d say, her hand brushing a strand of hair from your face. “You understand, right?”

And you’d nod, swallowing the lump in your throat, because of course you understood. What else could you do? Tell her no? Walk away? The thought of losing her entirely was worse than the slow, aching heartbreak of being caught in her orbit.

But it was exhausting, being held at arm’s length while she continued to live her life exactly the way she wanted.

There were nights when she’d come over, late and unannounced, her hair still damp from the shower after a long practice. She’d climb into your bed, curling into your side like it was the most natural thing in the world, her hand slipping under your shirt to rest against your stomach.

“I missed you,” she’d murmur, her voice drowsy.

And for those moments, you’d believe her. You’d let yourself believe that she meant it, that maybe this time things would be different.

But the mornings always came.

She’d wake before you, slipping out of your bed as quietly as she’d slipped in. By the time you stirred, she’d be gone, her spot cold, the faint scent of her shampoo lingering on your pillow. She never left a note, never sent a text. You’d see her later that day, laughing with someone else, like the night before had been nothing more than a shared dream.

It wasn’t fair. You knew that. But Paige wasn’t the kind of person who played fair, at least not when it came to this. She played basketball like her life depended on it, with precision and purpose, but with you? She was reckless, careless, and sometimes it felt like she didn’t even realize it.

“You’re overthinking it,” she’d say when you finally mustered the courage to confront her, her tone light, dismissive. “We’re good, aren’t we?”

And every time, you’d cave. You’d tell her what she wanted to hear, because the alternative—calling her out, forcing her to make a choice—felt too dangerous.

So you kept waiting.

For the next stolen moment, the next broken promise, the next time she’d pull you in and push you away all over again.

It was a slow unraveling, and you didn’t know how much more you could take. But as much as you hated yourself for it, you knew one thing for sure:

You’d keep waiting. For her love. For her to choose you. For something you were terrified might never come.

The gym was cavernous, every dribble of the ball echoing like a drumbeat in your skull as you stormed in. You didn’t stop to think. Logic and restraint had abandoned you the second you saw the picture. Paige, her hands on someone else’s waist, her lips pressed to theirs in a way that made your stomach churn.

Her laugh was unmistakable even above the squeak of sneakers and the occasional shout from her teammates. It grated on you now, sharp and mocking. She didn’t see you at first. She was mid-layup, her ponytail flying behind her, the sweat on her brow catching the fluorescent lights. The picture was still fresh on your phone, the brightness of the screen almost taunting you.

You didn’t care who was watching.

“Paige!” you barked, your voice cutting through the gym’s rhythm like a knife.

The ball thudded against the floor, rolling away as she froze mid-turn. The laughter stopped. Heads turned.

Her eyes found yours, widening slightly before narrowing. A flicker of annoyance crossed her face—then something else. Panic? Regret? It didn’t matter.

She jogged over, wiping her hands on her shorts. “What are you doing here?” she hissed, keeping her voice low.

“What am I doing here?” Your laugh was humorless, loud enough for the whole team to hear. “What the hell are you doing, Paige?”

“Let’s talk outside.” Her voice was tight now, her eyes darting toward her teammates, who were whispering among themselves.

You ignored the way she grabbed your arm, the way her fingers pressed a little too hard against your skin as she dragged you toward the double doors. The moment you were outside, the cold air slapping your face, you yanked yourself free.

“I saw the picture,” you snapped.

“What picture?” Her face was the picture of practiced innocence, but her tone was wary.

“Don’t play dumb, Paige. You know exactly what I’m talking about. You were kissing her!”

Her jaw tightened, and her eyes flicked away for just a second—long enough for you to catch it. “It’s not what you think,” she said, her voice measured, like she was trying to calm a storm.

“Not what I think?” You could feel the heat rising in your chest, your hands trembling. “You had your hands all over her. What is there to think, Paige?”

She took a step closer, lowering her voice. “You’re making this a bigger deal than it is.”

“A bigger deal? Are you serious?” Your voice cracked, the anger spilling over, loud and raw. “You told me—no, you promised me—you weren’t seeing anyone else!”

“I’m not,” she shot back, her own voice rising now. “It was just a stupid kiss, alright? It didn’t mean anything.”

Your laugh was bitter, cutting. “It didn’t mean anything? Do you even hear yourself? You think that makes it better?”

Her frustration boiled over, her hands running through her hair as she paced a tight circle. “You’re acting like we’re in some committed relationship or something!”

The words hit you like a slap, your chest tightening as your breath caught. “So, what? This—us—it’s just nothing to you?”

“I didn’t say that!” she yelled, her voice echoing off the empty hallway. Her eyes blazed as she stepped closer, her finger pointing at you. “But you keep pushing me, and I don’t know what you want from me!”

“I want you to stop messing with my head!” Your voice cracked, raw and thick with something you couldn’t quite name. “You can’t keep pulling me in and then acting like I don’t exist whenever it’s convenient for you, Paige!”

She blinked, the words hitting her harder than you expected. For a moment, the anger on her face faltered, replaced by something softer, something you’d almost call guilt.

But just as quickly, her defenses snapped back into place. “I told you I needed space,” she said, her voice quieter but still edged with steel. “I told you from the start this wasn’t going to be easy.”

“Easy?” You shook your head, a humorless laugh bubbling up. “No, Paige, this isn’t hard—it’s cruel. You’re cruel.”

Her face fell, the anger draining from her expression. “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

But the words felt hollow, like a script she’d practiced too many times. Your fists clenched, nails digging into your palms, trying to anchor yourself in something, anything, besides the spiraling frustration.

“Yeah?” Your voice was low, trembling under the weight of restrained fury. “You didn’t mean to hurt me, Paige, but you knew. You knew how I felt—how I feel—and you kissed her anyway.”

Her eyes darted away, lips pressed into a tight line. “I told you this wasn’t... I told you I didn’t want anything serious.”

You laughed, sharp and bitter, the sound bouncing off the cold concrete walls. “No, you didn’t want anything serious, but you didn’t want to let me go either. You wanted me close enough to have whenever you felt like it, but not so close that you had to be accountable for it.”

“That’s not fair,” she snapped, her voice cutting through your words. She squared her shoulders, looking at you like you were the unreasonable one, like this was all spiraling because you couldn’t control your emotions. “You’re acting like I’m the bad guy when you’re the one who stormed into my practice and made a scene.”

“A scene?” Your voice rose, the sharp edge of disbelief slicing through the tension. “You kissed someone else, Paige. What the hell am I supposed to do? Just sit at home, pretend it didn’t happen, and wait for you to toss me a few scraps of affection when it’s convenient?”

“That’s not what this is!” she shouted, the crack in her voice betraying her frustration. “I didn’t mean for it to happen, alright? I didn’t plan it! God, why can’t you just trust me?”

“Trust you?” The words tore from you, laced with incredulity. “How the hell am I supposed to trust you when you do things like this and then try to make me feel crazy for reacting?”

“I’m not making you feel crazy!” she fired back, but the flicker of guilt in her eyes betrayed her. She stepped closer, her hands gesturing wildly as if she could will you to calm down. “I just... I didn’t think this would turn into... into this.”

“This?” Your voice broke, the vulnerability slipping through the cracks in your anger. “Paige, I let you have all of me. You knew that, and you’re acting like I’m the one who crossed a line.”

Her face softened for a split second, and you saw the Paige you thought you knew, the one who made you laugh so hard you cried, the one who looked at you like you were the most fascinating thing in the room.

But then she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I didn’t ask for this to get so complicated,” she muttered, almost to herself.

“Complicated?” The word fell from your lips like venom. “You made it complicated. You wanted me enough to keep me on a leash, but not enough to—”

“Stop,” she cut you off, her voice sharp. “Just stop. You’re spiraling, and you’re putting all of this on me like you don’t have a choice in any of it.”

The sheer audacity of her words made your chest tighten, heat flooding your face. “A choice? Paige, I chose you. I keep choosing you, even when it hurts.”

For a moment, you thought she might say something—an apology, an admission, anything to make this feel less like a freefall. Instead, she just stepped closer, her voice softening. “You’re overthinking this. You always do.”

Your body went rigid, the casual dismissal slicing through you like a blade. “Don’t do that,” you warned, your voice trembling. “Don’t make this about me being too much.”

“I’m not,” she said quickly, her tone too smooth, too rehearsed. “I’m just saying... maybe we’re both a little out of line here.”

“Out of line?” You scoffed, the hurt morphing back into anger, fueling the fire between you. “You kissed someone else, and I’m out of line for calling you out on it?”

Her jaw clenched, her shoulders squaring as her frustration boiled over. “What do you want me to say? That I’m sorry? That I’ll never do it again? Because I can’t promise that, alright? I can’t promise to be someone I’m not!”

The admission knocked the wind out of you, the raw honesty of it cutting deeper than any excuse ever could. You stared at her, your heart pounding so loud it drowned out everything else.

And then, without thinking, you grabbed her face and kissed her.

It wasn’t soft or tender—it was a collision of lips and teeth, anger and desperation crashing together in a way that felt like drowning and breathing at the same time.

She didn’t hesitate. Her hands found your waist, pulling you closer, her frustration melting into something else entirely. For a moment, the world disappeared—the hurt, the anger, the confusion—and all that was left was her, her lips moving against yours like she was trying to prove something, to take back control.

When you finally pulled apart, both of you were breathless, your foreheads pressed together.

“This doesn’t fix anything,” you whispered, your voice trembling.

Her lips brushed yours again, softer this time, almost apologetic. “I know,” she murmured.

But it didn’t stop her, or you, from letting it happen again. And again. And again.

This was the beginning of a vicious style. Paige would do something — something reckless or selfish or dismissive, something that cracked the fragile balance you were barely holding together. You would crash out, spinning into anger or heartbreak or desperation. Then, when the storm was at its peak, you’d collide in a mess of kisses and tangled limbs, pretending the hurt didn’t exist. And for a little while, it would work.

Rinse, repeat.

It was like a drug. The highs were euphoric — the way she’d whisper your name in the dark, the way her hands knew the map of your body like they’d been there a thousand lifetimes. But the lows were brutal. Paige wasn’t just in your life; she engulfed it. Even when she wasn’t physically there, she was everywhere — in your thoughts, in your chest, in the hollow ache that came from wanting more than she would ever give.

And yet, every time you told yourself this was the last time, she’d reel you back in.

It was always the same. She’d make promises she couldn’t keep. I’ll do better. I’ll be better. I don’t want to lose you. They were just words, fragile and insubstantial, but you clung to them like a lifeline. Because even if Paige didn’t love you the way you needed her to, she made you feel.

But feelings weren’t enough. Not when the cycle kept repeating, each round leaving you a little more frayed, a little less whole.

Looking back, you didn’t see it at first. How could you? In those early days, it all still felt new, like you were learning each other in ways no one else ever had. The tension, the passion, even the arguments — it all felt alive.

But what you didn’t know then was that this wasn’t building toward something better. It wasn’t growth or healing or progress. It was just a loop, and the more you gave, the more it took.

And it all started here — in a practice gym with her teammates staring after you, with a kiss that should have been an apology but felt more like a warning.

This was how it was going to be. You just didn’t know it yet.

It was over long before she said it. That was the truth you’d been carrying for weeks, maybe even months, like a stone in your chest. The late nights tangled together, the whispered promises that never quite landed, the explosive fights that burned hot and fast — they were all just delaying the inevitable.

Paige didn’t love you. Not the way you loved her.

And even though you’d told yourself a hundred times that you’d walk away first, that you’d save yourself the heartbreak, there was a part of you that had been waiting for this moment. Waiting for her to finally say the words so you wouldn’t have to.

When she said them, she was sitting on the edge of the bed, her hair messy and her lips still swollen from the argument-turned-kiss that had just played out like a broken record. Her voice was quiet, careful, like she thought if she said it gently enough, it wouldn’t hurt.

“I think we should just stay friends.”

Friends. As if that word hadn’t already been stretched beyond recognition between the two of you.

You didn’t cry. You didn’t yell. You didn’t say anything at all. You just nodded, a single dip of your head that felt like letting go of a thousand unspoken words.

Because by then, you were too tired to argue. Too numb to care. You’d given everything you had to Paige Bueckers — your heart, your time, your trust. And in the end, she’d left you with nothing but empty promises and the ache of what could have been.

She watched you, her expression unreadable, maybe expecting a reaction. But there was nothing left to give. No anger, no tears, not even the kind of hope that had once kept you tethered to her.

And that’s when you knew.

It had been over long before it was over.

The first few days after Paige walked away, you told yourself you were fine. Numbness had a way of masquerading as strength, and for a brief, fleeting moment, you believed it. You went about your routine mechanically, ignoring the ghost of her laugh that seemed to echo in every corner of your mind, or the phantom sensation of her fingertips trailing down your skin.

But it didn’t last.

The cracks began to show in the quiet moments, the ones you couldn’t fill with distractions. You’d see her everywhere — not in person, but in the lingering memories that clung to every inch of your life. The way she used to leave her hoodie draped over your chair. The playlist she made you that now sat like a ticking time bomb on your phone. Even the way the air smelled after it rained reminded you of her, of those late-night walks when the world felt small and it was just the two of you against everything.

Now, it was just you.

The nights were the worst. That was when the realization hit hardest, settling in your chest like a lead weight. She wasn’t coming back. And not only that, she seemed fine. Perfectly fine without you.

Social media became your own personal form of torture. Paige smiling with her teammates, Paige at practice, Paige at a party with her arm slung casually around someone else’s shoulders. She looked radiant, unbothered. And why wouldn’t she be? You were the one left unraveling, trying to pick up the pieces of something that had already been broken long before it officially ended.

You tried to bury yourself in distractions, in work, in friends, in anything that could occupy the space she used to fill. But nothing worked. Everywhere you turned, there she was, in your mind, in your heart, like she had embedded herself into the very fabric of your being.

The worst part was the silence. Paige hadn’t reached out — not once. Not to check on you, not to see if you were okay, not even to pretend that she cared. She had moved on seamlessly, like you were just a chapter she had finished reading. But you? You were stuck. Stuck rereading the same lines over and over, trying to figure out where it all went so wrong.

You hated her for it. And you hated yourself more for still wanting her, for craving the sound of her voice even when it was the last thing you should want to hear.

Sleep became elusive. You’d lie awake, staring at the ceiling, replaying every argument, every kiss, every unspoken promise. Your mind refused to let go, clinging to the hope that maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t the end. But deep down, you knew better. Paige had already moved on. And she wasn’t coming back.

It was a cruel kind of clarity, realizing how little you seemed to matter to her now. While you were drowning, she was breathing just fine.

And so, you began to sink. Not all at once, but slowly, steadily, as the days turned into weeks and the weight of her absence pressed down on you. You stopped checking your phone, stopped looking at her social media, stopped pretending you were okay. Because you weren’t. You were a mess, and she was gone, and there was no fixing what had been broken.

For the first time, you understood what it meant to lose yourself in someone. Paige had taken pieces of you when she left, pieces you weren’t sure you’d ever get back. And as much as you hated it, as much as you hated her for making you feel this way, you couldn’t deny the truth.

You still loved her. And that was the hardest part of all.

The first time you saw the picture, it felt like the air had been knocked out of your lungs. Paige stood there, her arm draped casually over a girl you didn’t recognize, her smile so effortlessly carefree it made your stomach churn. It wasn’t just the picture—it was what it represented.

She wasn’t hiding anymore.

For months, you had clung to the idea that Paige’s reluctance to be with you had been about timing, about her career, about her focus on basketball. You’d told yourself over and over that it wasn’t about you—that she wasn’t ready for anything, not just you. But seeing her like this, so at ease, so perfectly content in someone else’s arms, shattered that illusion into a thousand irreparable pieces.

It wasn’t that she wasn’t ready. She just didn’t want you.

The realization hit you harder than any of the fights, any of the cold silences, any of the times she had pushed you away only to pull you back in. This was different. This was final. And it sent you crashing in a way you hadn’t thought possible.

The next few days passed in a haze. You couldn’t bring yourself to eat, to sleep, to function like a normal person. Every time you closed your eyes, the image of her with that girl played on a loop in your mind. Her hand resting on her shoulder. The easy grin that you used to think was just for you. The sickening thought that this new girl got the version of Paige you’d always wanted but could never have.

Your friends tried to help. They texted, called, even showed up at your apartment uninvited, but nothing seemed to pull you out of the spiral. You were stuck, trapped in the memories of what could have been, haunted by the ghost of what never was.

And Paige? She was fine. She was more than fine. While you were unraveling, she was out there, living her life like nothing had happened, like you had never happened.

It wasn’t fair.

You replayed every moment in your head, dissecting every word, every touch, every promise she had made and broken. You thought about the nights she’d held you, the mornings when she’d whispered things you now realized she didn’t mean. You thought about the times she’d called you "important," like that word was supposed to mean something, like it was enough to keep you tethered to her while she gave you nothing in return.

The more you thought about it, the angrier you got. Not just at Paige, but at yourself. How had you let it get this far? How had you let her take so much of you, only to leave you with nothing?

But even as the anger simmered beneath the surface, it couldn’t erase the pain. Because no matter how much she hurt you, no matter how many times she let you down, a part of you still wanted her. You hated yourself for it, but it was the truth.

She was the love of your life—or at least, that’s what you had convinced yourself. And now, as you watched her move on so effortlessly, it felt like you had lost not just her, but a part of yourself.

You thought about the nights you’d spent together, the dreams you’d secretly dared to have, the way she had made you feel like the center of her universe, even if it was only for a fleeting moment. You thought about the way she’d look at you sometimes, like you were the only person in the room, and you wondered if she ever looked at her new girlfriend like that.

The jealousy burned, but it was nothing compared to the ache of knowing you weren’t enough.

And that was the hardest part. Not the fights, not the breakups, not even seeing her with someone else. The hardest part was realizing that no matter how much you loved her, it was never going to be enough. She was gone, and she wasn’t coming back.

But you still saw her everywhere. In the songs that played on the radio. In the basketball games you couldn’t bring yourself to watch anymore. In the small, stupid things that reminded you of her—like the way she used to steal the last piece of pizza or the way she’d hum under her breath when she thought no one was listening.

You wanted to hate her, to erase her from your mind and move on with your life. But how could you hate the person who had been your everything, even if only for a little while?

So you sat with the pain, let it wash over you like a tidal wave, drowning in the memories of a love that had never really been yours. And for the first time, you let yourself admit the truth: Paige had been the loss of your life. And no amount of time, no amount of distance, was ever going to change that.

PRESENT

You’re standing there, caught in the pull of her gaze, the space between you both charged with unspoken words. It feels like you’ve been here a thousand times before, standing on the edge, your heart teetering between wanting to stay and knowing you should walk away.

Paige’s hand still grips your wrist, and the simple touch feels like a tether. A lifeline. But you know better than to think it’s something more. She’s always been like this—holding on just enough to make you feel wanted, but never enough to pull you all the way in.

“Are you really fine?” she asks, her voice lower now, softer, like she’s trying to break through your walls. Her thumb moves in slow, deliberate circles against your skin, and for a brief moment, you feel the weight of the last few months—how everything has spiraled, how much you've tried to hold it all together.

You want to scream, to ask her why it’s always been this way, why she makes you feel like you’re the one losing the fight when you never even had a chance to begin with. But instead, you swallow it all down, pushing the rawness deep inside, out of sight.

“I’m fine,” you repeat, and this time, it sounds almost like a plea. A hope that if you say it enough, you’ll start to believe it.

Paige doesn’t let go. She studies your face like she’s looking for something—some crack in the surface that would make everything make sense.

You hate how easily she does it. How she makes you feel like you could fall apart right here, and she’d still somehow be the one holding it all together.

But she’s not the one holding the pieces anymore.

“Don’t do that,” Paige says, her voice a little rougher now, her grip tightening just slightly. “Don’t close off from me. We’ve never been good at that.”

You can’t help the bitter laugh that escapes you. “We’ve never been good at anything,” you snap, but the words feel too raw, too real for this moment.

She flinches, just barely, but you see it. You see the way her shoulders tense, the way her jaw clenches. It’s a reaction you’re so used to by now—the shift in her, the way she pulls back whenever you push too hard, whenever you force her to confront the mess between you two.

But this time, there’s something else in her eyes. Something you can’t quite place. Maybe it’s guilt, or maybe it’s regret. But it’s there, lurking beneath the surface, and it stirs something in you.

“I didn’t mean that,” you add quickly, your voice softer now, almost apologetic. But the damage is already done. The walls between you, the ones you’ve spent months building and reinforcing, are beginning to crumble.

Paige shakes her head, a wry smile tugging at her lips. “You never do.”

You don’t know what to say to that. The truth is, you’ve always known. You’ve always known that Paige was never going to be the one who could fix this. Fix you.

“I’m sorry,” she says after a beat, and the words hang in the air between you like a promise you both know she can’t keep.

It’s the same thing she’s always said. The same thing she said when she left. The same thing she said when she came back. And each time, it meant less and less.

You swallow hard, blinking away the sting in your eyes. “It’s fine,” you whisper, but the words feel hollow. Because it isn’t fine. It never will be.

Paige looks like she’s about to say something, but she doesn’t. Instead, she leans in, her lips brushing against your cheek in a fleeting, soft kiss.

It’s nothing. It’s everything.

And just like that, everything falls back into place, if only for a moment. She pulls away, her hand still around your wrist, keeping you there, keeping you close—but not close enough.

You don’t know what’s worse: the way she makes you feel like you’re everything she’s ever wanted, or the way she makes you feel like you were never really a part of her at all.

You look into her eyes one last time, and for a moment, you see something there—something that makes you think maybe, just maybe, she feels it too.

But before you can get lost in it, she’s already pulling back, walking away. And you’re left standing there, once again, at the edge of it all.

The gym feels cold now. The bouncing basketballs echo through the space like the rhythm of your own heartbeat—distant, unsteady, and out of sync with everything else.

And in that moment, you realize something.

You’re never going to be okay with this. Not really.

But you’ll keep pretending, even if she has a girlfriend. Even if you've "moved on". Because that’s all you know how to do.

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

The way Taylor talks about how she thought this person was going to be the one and saw her future with throughout the album only for things to end and her feel like she was almost deceived in a way is heartbreaking.

“There was danger in the heat of my touch/He saw forever so he smashed it up”

“You swore that you loved me/but where were the clues?/I died on the altar waiting for the proof/You sacrificed us to the/gods of your bluest days”

“When your impressionist paintings of heaven/Turned out to be fakes/Well, you took me to hell, too/And all at once, the ink bleeds/A con man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme”

“You shit-talked me under the table/Talking rings and talking cradles/I wish I could un-recall/How we almost had it all/Dancing phantoms on the terrace/Are they second-hand embarrassed/That I can't get out of bed/Cause something counterfeit's dead/It was legendary/It was momentary/It was unnecessary/Should've let it stay buried/Oh what a valiant roar/What a bland goodbye/The coward claimed he was a lion/I'm combing through the braids of lies/"I'll never leave"/"Never mind"

“You said I needed a brave man/Then proceeded to play him/Until I believed it too”

“Hand on the throttle/Thought I caught lightning in a bottle/Oh, but it's gone again”

“Poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand/Oh, still I dream of him/Please/I've been on my knees/Change the prophecy/Don't want money/Just someone who wants my company/Let it once be me/Who do I have to speak to/About if they can redo/The prophecy?”

[jewishrizahawkeye]

hello fellow members of the tortured poets department.

id like to continue entering into evidence analysis from previous days i missed. next is chloe or sam or sofia or marcus

previous day's here:

standard tracks: masterpost

anthology tracks: the black dog, imgonnagetyouback, the albatross

chloe et al. is similar to my explanation to evermore’s theme of “a love album about heartbreak”. because at it’s core it’s a song about heartbreak and longing in a similar fashion to champagne problems or tis the damn season.

the narrator is still reeling and dealing with this heartbreak and knowing it was the right decision but still can’t recover from it. like i was thinking about it because, i’ve mentioned this before, but addiction runs in my family and how heartbreaking the “you needed me but you needed drugs more/and i couldn’t watch it happen” is. and a common theme on the album is having to chose to save yourself over a relationship (“sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days”) and the longing that comes from that and the constant wondering of what could’ve been or come from it.

so in chloe and oomfs it’s the narrator thinking about this relationship that happened and they crashed into each other at one point but the narrator bolted and left this person but it haunted them for years. and when they eventually came back together they realized it wasn’t anything anymore and they were romanticizing their past and what they had and that’s the only way they can have each other is in the memory of their old love and the idea of what they could’ve been instead of what they actually were. and the narrator criticizing them for it but her also doing it herself by wondering what would’ve been if they hadn’t run. even with knowing what they know they still can’t ever get the feeling gone. the idea of them and the love that could’ve been us always there…

if we do look at the album like this and the relationship the narrator leaves there old partner for, it can be seen as the person she always wondered was a "what if..." but never tempted her until her relationship was slowly dying and killing her. then she remembered the fleeting memories of happiness and what ifs and ran back to him and vice versa, both abandoning everyone to be together, and running on nothing but the memory of feelings and touches between each other. only for both to realize it's long since dead but neither is ever going to fully move on because they'll still try to find some way for them to end up together but it'll never happen because they broke up for a valid reason the first time and nothing can bring them back to life... dancing phantoms on the terrace/are they second hand embarrassed that i can't get out of bed/because something counterfeit is dead... would it be enough to just float in your orbit/could we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses/cooler in theory but not if your force it to be...if one thing had been different/would everything be different today?...will i always wonder?

[taylor-swift-bracket]

Battle Of The Bridges: Round 2

Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?

So tell me everything is not about me

But what if it is?

Then say they didn't do it to hurt me

But what if they did?

I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me

You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

So all you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs

I'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said?

That I'll sue you if you step on my lawn

That I'm fearsome and I'm wretched and I'm wrong

Put narcotics into all of my songs

And that's why you're still singin' along

loml

You talked me under the table

Talkin' rings and talkin' cradles

I wish I could un-recall

How we almost had it all

Dancing phantoms on the terrace

Are they second-hand embarrassed

That I can't get out of bed

'Cause something counterfeit's dead?

It was legendary

It was momentary

It was unnecessary

Should've let it stay buried

🌁Please reblog!🌁

[infiniteetcetera]

ACOTAR COUPLES X TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS

Bc I feel like there is much overlap in these fan bases and bc I can🤧 I tried to include most ships to be inclusive but I fear the ones I don’t like suffered (Nessians beware) ANYWAY:

Feyre X Rhysand

✨High Infidelity

[🎶Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes? Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life🎶]

✨You Are In Love

[🎶One night he wakes, strange look on his face. Pauses then says, “you’re my best friend,” and you knew what it was, he is in love.”🎶]

✨Invisible String (no one is surprised)

[🎶Time curious time cutting me open then healing me fine. Were there clues I didn’t see? And isn’t it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me🎶]

✨The Tortured Poets Department (a song about such a pretentious man can’t not be dedicated to Rhys)

[🎶Sometimes I wonder if you’re gonna screw this up with me, but you told Lucy you’d kill yourself if I ever leave, and I had said that to Jack about you so I felt seen. Everyone who knows us knows why it’s meant to be, because we’re crazy🎶]

Feyre X Tamlin

✨Loml (goes both ways tbh)

[🎶Talking rings and talking cradles, I wish I could unrecall how we almost had it all. Dancing phantoms on the terrace are they second hand embarrassed that I can’t get out of bed cause something counterfeits dead🎶]

✨You’re Losing Me

[🎶And I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her, and i’m fading thinking “Do something baby, say something”🎶]

✨Getaway Car

[🎶We were flying but we’d never get far. Don’t pretend it’s such a mystery think about the place where you first met me🎶]

✨Exile

[🎶We always walked a very thin line. You didn’t even hear me out. You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)🎶]

Nesta X Cassian

✨So it goes…

[🎶Cut me to pieces, gold cage hostage to my feelings. Back against the wall, tripping when you’re gone. Cause we break down a little but when you get me alone it’s so simple. 🎶]

✨Mr. Perfectly Fine

[🎶Mr. Every single day until the end I will be by your side, but that was when I got to know Mr. change of heart. Mr. leaves me all alone, I fall apart. It takes everything in me just to get up each day but it’s wonderful to see that you’re okay🎶]

✨Say Don’t Go

[🎶Whyd you have to make me want you? Why’d you have to give me nothing back? Why’d you have to make me love you? I said “I love you” you say nothing back 👀👀👀 🎶]

✨So Long, London

[🎶 you say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it, my white knuckled dying grip holding tight to your quiet resentment. and my friends said it isn’t right to be scared every day of a love affair. Every breath feels like the rarest air when you’re not sure if he wants to be there🎶]

Elain X Lucien

✨Cowboy Like Me

[🎶Hustling for the good life, never thought I’d meet you here, and it could be love. We could be the way forward and I know I’ll pay for it🎶]

✨The Lakes

[🎶Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die, I don’t belong and my beloved neither do you. Those Windermere peaks look like the perfect place to cry. I’m setting off but not without my muse, not without you🎶]

✨Afterglow

[🎶I lived like an island, punished you with silence. Went off like sirens just crying. Why’d I have to break what I loved so much? It’s on your face, don’t walk away🎶]

✨ The Very First Night

[🎶I never go alone, and I don’t seem broken hearted, and my friends all say they know everything i’m going through. I drive down different roads, but they all lead back to you🎶]

Elain X Azriel

✨Guilty as Sin? (obviously, you’re not slick Sarah)

[🎶Crashing into him tonight, he’s a paradox. I’m seeing visions, am I bad? or mad? or wise? What if he’s written “mine” on my upper thigh only in my mind. One slip and falling back into the hedge maze. Oh what a way to die🎶]

✨Ivy

[🎶My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand, taking mine but it’s been promised to another. Oh, I can’t stop you putting roots in my dream land. My house of stone, your ivy grows, now i’m covered in you🎶]

✨Cardigan

[🎶You drew stars around my scars but now i’m bleeding. Cause I knew you, stepping on the last train marked me like a bloodstain. I knew you, tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy🎶]

✨Wildest Dreams

[🎶I said “no one has to know what we do” his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room. And his voice is a familiar sound. Nothing lasts forever, but this is getting good now. He’s so tall and handsome as hell. He’s so bad but he does it so well . and when we’ve had our very last kiss, my last request it is…🎶]

Gwyn X Azriel

✨So High School (i FEEL this one)

[🎶 Cheeks pink in the twinkling light, tell me about the first time you saw me. I’ll drink what you think and i’m high from smoking your jokes all damn night. The brink of a wrinkle in time, bittersweet sixteen suddenly🎶]

✨ Delicate

[🎶Sometimes when I look into your eyes, I pretend you’re mine all the damn time. Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you’re in my head? Cause I know that it’s delicate🎶]

✨Sweet Nothing

[🎶They say the end is coming. Everyone is up to something. I found myself running home to your sweet nothing. Outside they’re push and shoving, you’re in the kitchen humming. All that you’ve ever wanted from me was nothing🎶]

✨All of the Girls you’ve Loved Before

[🎶Your mother brought you up loyal and kind. Teenage love taught you there’s good in goodbye. Every woman that you knew brought you here, I want to teach you how forever feels🎶]

Nesta X Eris

✨The 1 (like, please😔)

[🎶If my wishes came true, it would have been you. In my defense I have none for never leaving well enough alone. But it would have been fun if you would have been the one🎶]

✨Peace

[🎶I never had the courage of my convictions as long as danger is near. And it’s just around the corner darling, cause it lives in me. No, I could never give you peace. But i’m a fire, and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm, if your cascade ocean wave blues come🎶]

✨Dancing with Our Hands Tied

[🎶You said there was nothing in the world that could stop us, I had a bad feeling. I knew there was no one in the world who could take it, I had a bad feeling. But we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied. Dancing like it was the first time🎶]

✨Enchanted

[🎶Your eyes whispered have we met. Across the room your silhouette starts to make its way to me. The playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy, and it was enchanting to meet you🎶]

Nesta X Azriel (let me have this🙄)

✨Slut!

[🎶Everyone wants him that was my crime, the wrong place at the right time, and I break down and he’s pulling me in. In a world of boys he’s a gentleman🎶]

✨Gorgeous

[🎶You should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong. And I got a boyfriend, he’s older than us. He’s in the club doing I don’t know what. You’re so cool, it makes me hate you so much🎶]

✨Seven

[🎶Ive been meaning to tell you, I think your house is haunted. Your dad is always mad and that must be why. I think you should come live with me and we can be pirates, then you won’t have to cry🎶]

✨Begin Again

[🎶You pull my chair out and help me in. You don’t know how nice that is, but I do. And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid. I think it’s strange you think i’m funny cause he never did🎶]

Kallias and Viviane (i love them🤧)

✨Mary’s Song

[🎶I was seven and you were nine. I looked at you like the stars that shines in the sky, the pretty lights. And our daddies used to joke about the two of us, growing up and falling in love. and our mamas smiled and rolled their eyes🎶]

✨Timeless

[🎶And somehow I know that you and I would have found each other, in another life you still would have turned my head. Even if we’d met on a crowded street in 1944 and you were headed off to fight in the war, you still would have been mine we would have been timeless🎶]

✨The Alchemy

[🎶Cheers chanting cause they said there was no chance trying to be the greatest in the league. where’s the trophy? He just comes running over to me🎶]

✨Lover

[🎶Theres a dazzling haze a mysterious way about you dear. Have I know you twenty seconds or twenty years? Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close? Forever and ever🎶]

[cheezecakeee]

txt as taylor swift songs🫧 (angst ver.)

main masterlist | txt masterlist

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

➜ Yeonjun : loml

"If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary. You and I go from one kiss to gettin married. Still alive, killing time at the cemetery, never quite buried, in your suit and tie, in the nick of time, you lowdown boy, you stand up guy. Holy Ghost, you told me I'm the love of your life, you said I'm the love of your life, about a million times" "You shit talked me under the table, talking rings and talking cradles, I wish I could un-recall, how we almost had it all. Dancing phantoms on the terrace, are they second-hand embarrassed that I can't get out of bed? 'cause something counterfeit's dead" "Oh, what a valiant roar, what a bland goodbye; the coward claimed he was a lion. I'm combing through the braids of lies, "I'll never leave"... "Never mind". Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire, your arson's match your somber eyes and I'll still see it until I die, you're the loss of my life"

➜ Soobin - All you had to do was stay

"People like you always want back the love they gave away and people like me wanna believe you when you say you've changed. The more I think about it now, the less I know, all I know is that you drove us off the road" "Here you are now, calling me up, but I don't know what to say. I've been picking up the pieces of the mess you made. People like you always want back the love they pushed aside but people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye" "Let me remind you, this was what you wanted. You ended it. You were all I wanted but not like this. Not like this" "Hey, all you had to do was stay, had me in the palm of your hand, then why'd you have to go and lock me out when I let you in? Hey, now you say you want it back. Now that it's just too late, well, it could've been easy, all you had to do was stay"

➜ Beomgyu - Maroon

"When the morning came we were cleaning incense off your vinyl shelf, 'cause we lost track of time again. Laughing with my feet in your lap like you were my closest friend, "How'd we end up on the floor anyway?" You say "Your roommate's cheap-ass screw-top rosé, that's how". I see you every day now. And I chose you, the one I was dancin' with in New York, no shoes" "The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me and how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was maroon. The mark you saw on my collarbone, the rust that grew between telephones, the lips I used to call home, so scarlet, it was maroon" "And I lost you, the one I was dancin' with in New York, no shoes. Looked up at the sky and it was maroon. And I wake with your memory over me, that's a real fucking legacy, legacy. And I wake with your memory over me, that's a real fucking legacy to leave"

➜ Taehyun - So long, London

"I didn't opt in to be your odd man out, I founded the club she's heard great things about; I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath. I stopped CPR, after all it's no use, the spirit was gone, we would never come to and I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free." "And you say I abandoned the ship but I was going down with it, my white knuckle dying grip, holding tight to your quiet resentment and. My friends said it isn't right to be scared every day of a love affair, every breath feels like rarest air when you're not sure if he wants to be there" "So how much sad did you think I had, did you think I had in me? How much tragedy? Just how low did you think I'd go? before I'd self-implode, before I'd have to go be free" "You swore that you loved me but where were the clues? I died on the altar waiting for the proof, you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days and I'm just getting color back into my face, I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place," "For so long, London, had a good run, a moment of warm sun but I'm not the one. So long, London, stitches undone, two graves, one gun, you'll find someone..."

➜ Heuning kai - I bet you think about me

"Well, I tried to fit in with your upper-crust circles, yeah, they let me sit in back when we were in love. Oh, they sit around talkin' 'bout the meaning of life and the book that just saved 'em that I hadn't heard of. But now that we're done and it's over, I bet you couldn't believe when you realized I'm harder to forget than I was to leave. And I bet you think about me" "You grew up in a silver-spoon gated community. Glamorous, shiny, bright Beverly Hills, I was raised on a farm, no, it wasn't a mansion just livin' room dancin' and kitchen table bills. But you know what they say, you can't help who you fall for and you and I fell like an early spring snow, but reality crept in, you said we're too different. You laughed at my dreams, rolled your eyes at my jokes" "Oh, block it all out, the voices so loud, sayin' "Why did you let her go?" Does it make you feel sad that the love that you're lookin' for is the love that you had. Now you're out in the world, searchin' for your soul, scared not to be hip, scared to get old, chasin' make-believe status, last time you felt free was when none of that shit mattered 'cause you were with me" "I bet you think about me when you're out at your cool indie music concerts every week. I bet you think about me in your house with your organic shoes and your million-dollar couch. I bet you think about me when you say, "Oh my God, she's insane, she wrote a song about me". I bet you think about me"

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

[rainbowfelions]

I’m currently going through a really hard friendship breakup…

“I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep. The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign”

“People are people, and sometimes we change our minds. But it's killing me to see you go after all this time”

“All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around. I’ve been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down”

“This is the last time you tell me I've got it wrong.”

“Did you have to ruin, what was shining, now it's all rusted.”

“And maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much. But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up. Running scared, I was there. I remember it all too well.”

“But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss. I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs”

“I stopped CPR, after all it's no use. The spirit was gone, we would never come to. And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free.”

“And you say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it. My white knuckle dying grip. Holding tight to your quiet resentment”

“Dancing phantoms on the terrace. Are they second-hand embarrassed? That I can't get out of bed, cause something counterfeit's dead.”

“Oh, what a valiant roar. What a bland goodbye. The coward claimed she was a lion’

“I can't pretend like I understand. How did it end?”

“Each bar plays our song. Nothing has ever felt so wrong”

“I’ve been picking up the pieces of the mess you made”

“So many things that you wish I knew. But the story of us might be ending soon”

“I call my mom, she said to get it off my chest. Remind myself the way you faded 'til I left. I cannot be your friend. So I pay the price of what I lost. And what it cost. Now that we don't talk”

“You paint me a blue sky. Then go back and turn it to rain. And I lived in your chess game. But you changed the rules everyday”

“Oh, what a shame. What a rainy ending given to a perfect day. Just walk away. Ain't no use defending words that you will never say. And now that I'm sittin' here thinkin' it through. I’ve never been anywhere cold as you.”

“I don't have to be your shrink to know that you'll never be happy. And I bet you think about me”

Trying to find Taylor lyrics to make sense of it all

Why is losing a friend so fucking tough to get through??

[atyd1960]

Marauders era characters and ships as TTPD lyrics (pt.1)

“And for a fortnight there, we were forever, run into you sometimes, ask about the weather. Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbours. Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her.”- this so Regulus to James because for a 00.0007 secs they were truly happy but then Regulus broke it off to become a DE and he had to watch James build a life with Lily.

“I'll build you a fort on some planet, where they can all understand it. How dare you think it's romantic, Leaving me safe and stranded? 'Cause fuck it, I was in love, so fuck you if I can't have us.”- James after Regulus left him because “their relationship is too complicated and dangerous and they’re better off separated.”

“I stopped trying to make him laugh, stopped trying to drill the safe. Thinking how much sad did you think I had, did you think I had in me?”- Mary falling for all the wrong guys and losing all her friends and feeling so alone and desperately clinging to lovers who can’t save her until she is forced to just let it go because she can’t go on like this.

“Now I'm running with my dress unbuttoned, Screaming, "But Daddy, I love him! I'm having his baby.” No, I'm not, but you should see your faces.”- These lyrics are so chaotic and I think the only person who’s capable of living up to them is Sirius Black.

“You can beat the heat, If you beat the charges too. They said I was a cheat, I guess it must be true.”- it’s giving the 7 husbands of Louise Zabini.

“What if I roll the stone away? They're gonna crucify me anyway. What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy? If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me, they don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly. I choose you and me religiously.”- every gay ship in the fandom like ever. But also DORLENE.

“You shit-talked me under the table, talking rings and talking cradles. I wish I could un-recall how we almost had it all. Dancing phantoms on the terrace, are they second-hand embarrassed, That I can't get out of bed 'cause something counterfeit's dead?”- Remus after Sirius got into Azkaban.

“I can read your mind, "She's having the time of her life". There in her glittering prime, the lights refract sequin stars off her silhouette every night. I can show you lies.”- no explanation just Mary McDonald.

“'Cause once your queen had come, you'd treat her like an also-ran. You didn't measure up, in any measure of a man.”- Snape🥰

“Hey, you, what if I told you we're cool? That child's play back in school is forgiven under my rule.I haven't come around in so long, but I'm making a comeback to where I belong.”- JILYJILYJILYJILYJILYJILY.

“I am someone who, until recent events, you shared your secrets with. And your location, you forgot to turn it off, and so I watch as you walk into some bar called The Black Dog, and pierce new holes in my heart. You forgot to turn it off, and it hits me, I just don't understand... How you don't miss me in The Black Dog.”- Mary watching Lily move on and being unable to do so herself.

[notmalak2002]

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME COMING

8th August 2024

We were excited for the first time in years. I was genuinely happy but I knew it wouldn't last long. It never does. We planned everything the weeks before.

Wake up at 5:30 get ready. Do my makeup and hair. Put my outfit on. Leave at 09:00 to be at the Stadium at 09:30 queueing for the Eras Tour. We even packed everything that we would take the day before. For a minute we thought we had it all. We survived the great (tickets) war.

08.08.2024 Front of Stage Standing

09.08.2024 Picnic in front of the Stadium

10.08.2024 Seats for the show

While making my last friendship bracelets the news hit us the Vienna shows were cancelled. In disbelief and panic we texted each other to check if it's true and how everyone is holding up.

In the end we lost it all. It was from pure happiness to so long Taylor and I wish I can un-recall how we almost had it all. Dancing Phantoms on the terrace are they second-hand embarrassed that I can't get out of bed? Cause something counterfeits dead.

IT WAS LEGENDARY

IT WAS MOMENTARY

IT WAS UNNECESSARY

Should've let it stay buried. And now say it once again with feeling how the death rattle breathing, silenced as the soul was leaving. The deflation of our dreaming leaving me bereft and reeling My (dreams) ghost and me sitting in a tree

D-Y-I-N-G

And it raises the question how did it end? I want to scream and cry but I can't at that moment I felt like I was suffocating. I was excited. We were excited for a fleeting moment. No one was overthinking just pure euphoria and now it felt like time stood still and we watched it all fall apart brick by brick.

The city of Vienna tried to cheer us up. We got free goodies and it was sweet and kind but it doesn't bring back the experience that was stolen from us. The experience someone wanted to destroy for us. In my opinion the cancellation was the best choice to protect us and swiftites but now we are going through the 4 stages of Grief.

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

I know there are 5 stages of grief but I don't think I'll ever be ready to accept that someone woke up one day and decided to rob us of the safest place on earth of the most magical enchanting experience of our lives.

I hope everyone is safe and trying their best to heal. If you want to trade braclets Corneliusgasse in the 6th District has a tree where you can leave some bracelets and take some.

Most of all I hope @taylorswift and @taylornation are doing alright. I hope Taylor's team is okay.

Stay safe and try to enjoy your stay in Vienna. It's a beautiful city.

[thenighttrain]

Fave TtPD's lyrics so far?

dancing phantoms on the terrace, are they second-hand embarrassed that i can't get out of bed cause something counterfeit's dead

crowd goes wild at her fingertips, half moonshine a full eclipse

AND I HOPE IT'S SHITTY IN THE BLACK DOG when someone plays the starting line and you jump up but she's too young to know this song that was intertwined in the TRAGIC FABRIC OF OUR DREAAAMMIIINGG cause tail between your legs, you're LEAAAVIIIING

and sometimes it gets me when crossing your jet stream, we both did the best we could do underneath the same moon in different galaxies

forgive me peter please know that i tried to hold onto the days when you were mine but the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light

i look in people's windows In case you're at their table, what if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time?

[camilalisa]

o trecho

"You talked me under the table

Talking rings and talking cradles

I wish I could un-recall

How we almost had it all

Dancing phantoms on the terrace

Are they second-hand embarrassed

That I can't get out of bed?

Cause something counterfeit's dead

It was legendary

It was momentary

It was unnecessary

Should've let it stay buried

Oh, what a valiant roar

What a bland goodbye

The coward claimed he was a lion

I'm combing through the braids of lies

"I'll never leave" ...

"Never mind"

Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire

Your arson's match your somber eyes

And I'll still see it until I die

You're the loss of my life"

são os dois trechos mais cortante do álbum, pq ela podia ter dito que ele era um mentiroso de merda um covarde que prometeu e não cumpriu, mas ela simplesmente escreveu uma das maiores pontes da carreira nem um engenheiro seria capaz de construir uma ponte tão bem feita como essa

[all-at-once-you-are-the-one]

Idk if this is a hot take or not, but IMO loml is one of the most straightforward songs on the album and it actually tells a story in chronological order. Let’s examine:

Who's gonna stop us from waltzing

Back into rekindled flames?

If we know the steps anyway

We embroidered the memories

Of the time I was away

Stitching, "We were just kids, babe"

Yes, I know this very much sounds like it’s about a certain someone but I actually think here she is referring to the breaks between her and Joe that she’s previously alluded to in Hits Different & That’s When TV. She also often describes this relationship as making her feel like a kid in other songs like CIWYW, INTHAF etc.

I said, "I don't mind, it takes time"

I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed

This was the line that really sparked my curiosity. What does she not mind? It seems like she’s changing her mind on something and resigning herself to being stable and settled rather than leaving to find something better. This is the period when we got songs like Lavender Haze. He said he needed more time before marriage and she was like you know what yeah, why do women have to get married anyway?? Can’t we just be together?? Both of them were denying that it was what she truly wanted and he just didn’t.

You and I go from one kiss to gettin married

Still alive, killing time at the cemetery

Never quite buried

In your suit and tie, in the nick of time

You lowdown boy, you stand up guy

Holy Ghost, you told me I'm

The love of your life

You said I'm the love of your life

About a million times

She’s waiting and waiting and waiting for the marriage thing to happen and he just keeps placating her by saying she’s the love of his life. (I can totally just picture him saying “but you’re the love of my life and we’re happy, isn’t that enough?”). She has faith in him because he’s such a good guy with integrity, surely he wouldn’t just lie to her and lead her on. Surely he’ll show up in the nick of time to marry her like he said he would.

Who's gonna tell me the truth

When you blew in with the winds of fate

And told me I reformed you

Here’s what’s his name making his grand entrance!

And all at once, the ink bleeds

He promised her all the same things and then took it away so quickly which released the stopper on all her pent up feelings about being let down in this way. The rest of this verse is pretty clear cut

You talked me under the table

Talking rings and talking cradles

I wish I could un-recall

How we almost had it all

Now it’s about them both! She’s going into detail about the way in which they let her down

Dancing phantoms on the terrace

Are they second-hand embarrassed

That I can't get out of bed?

Cause something counterfeit's dead

It was legendary

It was momentary

It was unnecessary

Should've let it stay buried

This is the saddest part!!! This is also about both of them! What’s his name is obvious, but it’s also about her and Joe. She knew they had issues! She knew he didn’t want what she wanted! That’s why they had their break! Now she feels that when they resumed their relationship it wasn’t real, he just started lying to her and she was also lying to herself, and they should have just broken up for good the first time.

Oh, what a valiant roar

What a bland goodbye

The coward claimed he was a lion

I'm combing through the braids of lies

Again, what’s his name is very obvious here. She’s also upset about her breakup with Joe: she broke up with him remotely! And maybe he just let her! She thought he was brave, that he had integrity, but he lied to her over and over and over again, every time he promised they would have the things she wanted for her future. He was just delaying the inevitable and wasting her time.

If you can get past the Matty of it all and accept the story she’s telling here at face value there is SO MUCH she’s sharing with us here.

[thegreatimpersonator]

fave and least fave lyrics and songs from TTPD so far?

favorites:

“All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February” - Fortnight

“Every breath feels like rarest air when you're not sure if he wants to be there” - So Long, London

“And all at once, the ink bleeds, a con man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme” - loml

“Dancing phantoms on the terrace, are they second-hand embarrassed that I can't get out of bed cause something counterfeit's dead?” - loml

“And I don't even want you back, I just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal” - the smallest man who ever lived

“It's hell on earth to be heavenly” - clara bow

“Beauty is a beast that roars, down on all fours, demanding "more"” - clara bow

“Old habits die screaming” - the black dog

“I changed into goddesses, villains, and fools, changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules, all to outrun my desertion of you” - chloe or sam or sophia or marcus

“I crashed into you, like so many wrecks do, too impaired by my youth to know what to do” - the black dog

“Our maladies were such we could not cure them and so a touch that was my birthright became foreign” - how did it end?

“Come one, come all, it's happenin' again, the empathetic hunger descends, we'll tell no one except all of our friends, we must know, how did it end?” - how did it end?

“We learned thе right steps to different dancеs” - how did it end?

“I guess a lesser woman would've lost hope, a greater woman wouldn't beg” - the prophecy

“The goddess of timing once found us beguiling, she said she was trying, Peter, was she lying?” - Peter

“ love's never lost when perspective is earned” - peter

least favorites:

"I was a functioning alcoholic til nobody noticed my new aesthetic" - fortnight

"you smokеd, then ate seven bars of chocolate, we declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist, I scratch your head, you fall asleep like a tattooed golden retriever" - ttpd

all of but daddy i love him, especially the line "I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing"

"my friends all smell like weed or little babies" - florida

"You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me" - who's afraid of little old me

all of i can fix him

"I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day" - i can do it with a broken heart

"You said normal girls were boring but you were gone by the morning, you kicked out the stage lights, but you're still performing" - smallest man

all of the alchemy, especially the predicable/uncreative lines about games or football, and the line where she mocks people with drug addiction with "he jokes that it's heroin, but this time with an "E""

all of so high school, special shoutouts to "are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me?" "You know how to ball, I know Aristotle" "Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto" "I'll drink what you think, and I'm high from smokin' your jokes all damn night"

"I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists" - hate it here

"When I picture my hometown, there's a bronze, spray-tanned statue of you and a plaque underneath it that threatens to push me down the stairs at our school" - thank u aimee

"Don't want money, just someone who wants my company" - the prophecy

"There's escape in escaping" - the bolter

[memories-feel-like-weapons]

Loml is one of the lyrically beautiful songs she’s ever written. Especially “dancing phantoms on the terrace/are they second-hand embarrassed/that I can’t get out of bed, because something counterfeit is dead?”

And the shame and sadness in her voice….

Even more beautiful that it’s on the same album as I Can Do It with a Broken Heart��Everyone loves to say that they’re “miserable and no one knows!” that they’re crying but still productive, etc etc, but we have the same person on the same album around the same time saying that she can’t get out of bed. When things that are that serious it’s both at once.

[hilovehowareyou]

"You know youre good when you can even do it with a broken heart " - i can do it w a broken heart

" so i did my best to lay to rest all of the bodies that have ever been on my body, and in my mind, they sink into the swamp" - florida

" and i love you, its ruining my life" - fortnight

" all those nights, he kept me goin'. swirled you into all of my poems. Now we're at the starting line, i did my time" - fresh out the slammer

" showed me that this world is bigger than us then sent me back where i came from" - down bad

" down bad wakin' up in blood. starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up" - down bad

" did you take all my old clothes, just to leave me here naked and alone" - down bad

" how dare you think its romantic. Leaving me safe and stranded. Cause fuck it i was in love, so fuck you if i cant have us " - Đm " down bad" làm mình cảm thấy depressed vcl

" if all you want is gray for me, its just white noise, its just my choice" - but daddy i love him

" i'll tell you something 'bout my good name. its mine along with all the disgrace"- but daddy i love him

" 'cause the sign on your heart said its still reserved for me. honestly, who r we to fight the alchemy " - the alchemy

" when your impressionist paintings of heaven turned out to be fakes. you took me to hell too" - loml

" dancing phantoms on the terrace, are they second hand embarrassed that i cant get out of bed 'cause some thing counterfeits dead" - loml

" our field of dreams engulfed in fire. your arson's match, your somber eyes. and i'll still see until i die. you're the loss of my life" - loml

" my spine split from carrying us up the hill. wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill. i stopped trying to make him laugh. stopped trying to drill the safe" - so long, London

" i stopped CPR, after all it's no use. the spirit was gone, we would never come to" - so long london

" and you say I abandoned the ship. but I was going down with it. my white knuckle dying grip" - so long london

" every day of a love affair. every breath feels like rarest air

when you're not sure if he wants to be there. so how much sad did you think I had,

did you think I had in me?" - so long , London

" you swore that you loved me but where were the clues? i died on the altar waiting for the proof. you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days" - so long , London