#the crimes of the followers do not invalidate the faith

[what-the-actual-wizardry]

A Deity Work Primer

The following paragraphs are a discussion of deity work, with a focus primarily on safety and responsibility. Everyone needs to feel safe enough to work with their gods personally; no one should tell you how to worship. Two disclaimers apply: first, I use the word 'worship' as a loose and accessible term for deity work, due to its dual noun/verb nature.

Second, I hold these opinions steadily enough that I will not take offense if you merely disagree. If it doesn't work for you, it doesn't.

But I do not accept the use of blatant fallacy to discredit or invalidate the work of others. If it works for them, and does not hurt you or your community, let it be. All said, let's begin. What are gods?

The only consistent answer for this is that gods are story incarnate. Gods are the things we see, love, and fear in ourselves, nature, our works, and other people. Gods cannot be blamed for a war, a famine, the greed of a pastor or the crippling doubt you are experiencing. They can only be credited with doing their jobs, because they do not act outside of their domains. Ares favor falls on the victor- but that's just a story. Both sides of the battle will be praying fervently to their war gods, but only one will win, and then credit theirs with being mightier.

Who was really mightier, though? The soldiers, of course. But war is inhumane, and as long as we can credit a god with our victory, the atrocities will be cast as preordained. Gods don't have the same standards men do.

Gods are the point where our consciousness intersects with things that are out of our control. I hate to offend some folks- but we were here first. We retconned history so that the gods were immortal and eternal, and because we all believed it, it became true- but only for the people who believe it.

Worship and Free Will

When you begin your journey, the road is often littered with claims that 'your gods will choose you', or that you MUST wait for a spirit to reach out before beginning worship practices.

It's your choice, though. Nobody seems to want to admit that, to themselves or anyone else.

If you are interested in practicing deity work, the gods have already chosen you. It is your responsibility to know them, reach for them, speak to them, now. Similarly, it is your responsibility to maintain their sacred space, and make offerings appropriate to their domains, and (the BIG one that everyone misses) live in accordance with the values they represent.

Which brings us to the next point:

How to Know Your Gods

I'm going to use my gods as examples here, because I feel that it would be unfair to make claims about anyone else's deity work without providing my basis for comparison.

I worship Loki (the God of Mischief), Mephistopheles (the Shrewd Merchant), Auberon (the Autumn Lord), and the Sand-Man (God of Bedtime Stories). I also work with personal manifestations of the cardinal elements, and am friendly with the local sylph (air-spirits). Do you see a pattern? Gold and orange and darkling purple, bonfires at dusk, travel hard and sleep harder. Make yourself at home wherever you go, subvert expectations, and talk your way into or out of anything you like. Everyone is a friend until proven an enemy, and no enemy will be forgotten for their crime. Tell tales for the children, the hungry, the old.

These are the tenets of my faith, but reader, I did all of that before ever meeting my gods. I worship these gods because I agree with their values- not vice versa. If you have to agonize to fit the 'ideal' practitioner for your god, by giving up parts of your own being, seek out somebody else. Tricksters and Teachers

Some gods, of course, show up out of nowhere. You will go about your business, and suddenly Baba Yaga shows up and asks you to take care of her spider. Janus offers you a life-altering decision that shatters your mental health for years. Eros pulls one over on you and you find the love of your life. Sometimes, worship is not the goal. Tricksters are often vilified, but their original function was CHANGE. "The way your world works isn't serving you or your gods. Monotony has overridden the function of your practice. Let's shake it up." The lessons taught by the random arrivals of gods are intentional; if your knee-jerk response is to kick them out and triple-lock your wards, you might want to consider your relationship with change and personal growth.

Back to free will, though- you don't fucking have to. Not a single god will take offense to the polite decline of their offer. Most trickster gods will even be ecstatic if you pull your magic weapon on them before you realize who you're dealing with.

Respect for Gods and Sacred Space

I have one rule, and one only, in regards to gods and temples: your personal practice doesn't mean a damn thing at a temple, circle, or sacred gathering. Even Loki acknowledges that the only person he needs to speak for him at his holy rites is the appointed priest/channel/etc. Your work, in your home, is going to be completely different from anyone else there, so stick to what you can all agree on, and leave points of contention to the highest authority at the gathering.

In other words, respect your deity by respecting the other practitioners of that deity.

Offerings

Everything is an offering, friends. If I make a good sale, I make it in Mephistopheles' name. If I prank my partner in a well-played jest, I am honoring Loki. Every story I write is an offering to the Sandman. Every pot of chili or apple pie is dedicated to Auberon. If you are doing something they would take pride in, you are making an offering.

Your altar is for ritual, but your worship extends far beyond its immediate surroundings.

That's all for the time being. To summarize, the gods are collective concepts, worship is a choice, and respect is more easily applied to humanity than it is to ever-changing deific personifications.

Take what you will, discard what you won't.

With love from this long-winded madman.

[covid-safer-hotties]

A Long Island County Banned Masks, and Disabled People Are Suing - Published Aug 23, 2024

Last week, Nassau County, on New York’s Long Island, became the first county in the US to ban the public wearing of masks—with very vague health exemptions—since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic. The Nassau ban follows a similarly controversial statewide mask ban in North Carolina that took effect in June.

Several concerns have been raised about Nassau’s mask ban, including that police officers—not experts in public health or medicine—are tasked with determining whether an individual is wearing a mask for valid health reasons. But another is that the pandemic is not over, and wearing medical masks while grocery shopping or even at a protest is meant to limit exposure to the disease—and some residents expect a ban to lead to harassment by local anti-maskers.

The county’s move has prompted the first class-action lawsuit against a mask ban, filed Thursday in federal district court by Disability Rights New York against Nassau County and county executive Bruce Blakeman on behalf of two anonymous residents.

“This mask ban poses a direct threat to public health and discriminates against people with disabilities,” said Timothy A. Clune, the group’s executive director, in a press release.

One of the residents, who lives with cerebral palsy and asthma, said they were stopped and questioned by other residents after the ban was passed—even before it was enacted—and, according to the complaint, now “fears that they will be arrested…because there is no standard for the police to follow to decide if they meet the health exception.”

The other resident represented in the complaint, who masks due to various immune conditions, the complaint says, is now “terrified to go into public wearing a mask.”

Both complainants say that masking has enabled them to participate in public life as disabled people during the ongoing pandemic. Disability Rights NY argues in the suit that the ban as written is unconstitutional, and violates both the Americans with Disabilities Act and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act, both key items of federal civil rights legislation, by denying disabled people access to their own communities.

“Local laws that abrogate or curtail rights conferred by federal law are…rendered invalid,” the complaint reads.

Given that Covid can itself disable people, Jason Cohen, a neurologist who lives in Nassau, has major concerns about how the mask ban will play out.

“I care for many patients who have brain fog from Covid and many more who are at higher risk of brain damage from Covid,” Cohen said. “Anything that discourages masking among those who want to mask is a travesty and public health disaster.”

Cohen also says that governments “should not force people to disclose their personal medical information to police in order to negotiate their way out of being accused of a crime.”

Some disabled people nevertheless have concerns about the suit itself. Ngozi, a Black disabled person who lives just over the county border in Queens, is concerned that it will end in “some type of negotiation with the state that results in keeping the law intact,” which would maintain the risk of racial profiling.

“I do not have faith in the state,” Ngozi said. “A lawsuit will not resolve the threat of mask bans anytime soon.”

Disability Rights New York is requesting a declaratory judgment that Nassau County’s mask ban violates federal law, as well as a restraining order. (read the complaint in full at the Mother Jones website linked at the very top of this post)

[aspd-culture]

So what would you say is crucial to aspd if the textbook criteria (usually based in ableism) isn’t always adequate? Because a lot of my issues stemmed out of pure, unadulterated rage that I (not inaccurately) attributed to developing bpd + npd as a kid and as we all know, those disorders can be intense on their own. I’m asking not out of “prove you have aspd if you don’t meet violent requirements” (idk people are weird and bad faith), but more so like seeing these anons who don’t fit the textbook criteria having realizations. I happen to be alongside the more violent urges and have been since I was a kid but I always attributed those things, again, to budding bpd and npd and autism dysregulation

I've discussed this at length in various posts throughout this blog, but pretty much every criteria of ASPD can be taken in much less literal ways than many professionals account for when evaluating for ASPD.

Aggression is a criteria, but you can be aggressive without being violent. The criteria mentions breaking social codes as a form of rule breaking/disrespect for authority, but many professionals only ask about law breaking and/or only violent crimes. Disrespecting authority doesn't always mean not listening to what they tell you (that particular explanation should be easy to find by searching baboon on my blog - I'll leave you to search for the post to find out why). You can manipulate without causing harm to other people. Lying is not always pathological and/or detrimental to anyone's life - sometimes it's as simple as BSing strangers when they ask you where you work and for some reason something in you begs you to say something blatantly untrue just to see if you can get away with it. Doing hard drvgs comes with significantly more risk to your life, liberty, and pursuit of convenience than just burning some leaves (whichever leaves are legal in your area) and/or drinking, so many of us just stick to that because why bother with the other stuff when there are so many reasons not to? Breaking my own stuff? Totally legal if a lil scary for ppl around me. Breaking other people's stuff loses me access to those people, that stuff, and possibly my own freedom, so why wouldn't I make sure if something's gonna be broken, it belongs to me?

All of these are "atypical" presentations of ASPD criteria, and yet I've found that the vast majority of pwASPD actually present "atypically" because we don't actually want to spend our lives dealing with the excess effort required to be intentionally malicious.

Something I think is seriously missing from the conversation about ASPD (traits not criteria) is the tendency it gives you to view everything you do in life from a matter of being as convenient and efficient as possible and going out of my way to be violent is gonna put me in jail which is massively inconvenient and therefore big lame to my ASPD brain.

I mean, think about it this way, why would someone with a disorder that hates boredom, can't stand authority, and has trouble with rules *willingly* put themselves into a box with bars, guards everywhere that control your life, and a strict routine you have to follow to get out of the box faster? All of that sounds like the last thing I want in life, so of course I use my limited effort to follow the law. The law is far less restrictive than the punishment for breaking it, and life is easier when I'm kind to people (and I can get what I want faster that way).

Overall, in many ways I think ASPD criteria misses the fact that most pwASPD are very aware of what the consequences to not following the rules of the game we call "civilized society" are, and know which of those rules we can break (mostly social code as opposed to legal code) without ending up dealing with more bs than when we started.

The current criteria acts like we have no forethought, and it just uses a really naïve, prosocial way of thinking about ASPD imo.

And none of this is meant to invalidate those with the "typical" presentation of these symptoms! I'm sorry if it comes off that way, because those are totally valid presentations as well. It's just frustrating bc a whole section of the community thinks that bc I prioritize avoiding behaviors that make life harder for me (would I be violent in a world that didn't consider that behind bar worthy? Yeah, of course I would), that somehow invalidates my diagnosis.

In short, I agree with many of (almost all of) the core concepts of the criteria but not the extremely literal and narrow ways that criteria is boxed into by some professionals and p much all elitists. The worst part is the actual wording of the DSM-V isn't so restrictive and does make space for non-violent and law abiding pwASPD, and some professionals ignore that fact and project their opinions of ASPD onto the criteria they use to diagnose.

[why-bless-your-heart]

Why dont catholics think its cringe to rape kids? That seems cringe to me but you keep doing it.

First of all, given that the victims of sexually abusive Catholic priests are almost all Catholics themselves, you need to be really careful if you dare to talk to strangers like that.

Secondly, hypocrisy and sanctioning are two different things. Catholic theology consistently and resoundingly condemns pedophilia. The logic is clear and solid:

The sexual act must be unitive and procreative. This means that it only belongs between a willing man and a willing woman who have already pledged their lives to each other in the promise of raising and supporting any children who may come their way.

Contraception, masturbation, sodomy, onanism, surrogacy, IVF, adultery, polygamy, human cloning, incest, rape, pedophilia, etc. are all grave sins for the same reason: they divorce the sexual act from its unitive and/or procreative aspects.

Because all of these are wrong for the same reason, you must either condemn or condone all of them. If you try to condone just one, you’ll soon find that you have no grounds for condemning the others.

The secular wisdom at the moment is that anything goes as long as it’s between consenting adults. This gives no grounds for condemning incest. It also leaves plenty of wiggle room for predators to weasel about what “consenting” and “adult” actually means. The fact that the idea of a “safe word” is common instead of your partner just saying “ouch,” or “stop,” or “I don’t like this any more,” should show you how quickly using consent as the baseline deteriorates, and the disgusting opinions we’re seeing more and more often about how kids 12 and even younger should be “exploring their sexualities” is a clear indicator that using adult as the baseline is also on its way out the door.

Most rational people are not actually predators and know that any sort of a romantic relationship with a child is wrong. But if you press them on why it’s wrong, the secular worldview doesn’t provide a satisfactory answer. “Because it’s illegal,” so what? Laws change all the time. Sodomy used to be illegal and now it’s not, why should this be any different? “Because it’s bad for the child,” now we’re getting closer, but if you listen to what predators say, they’re claiming it’s not bad for the child. It gives them physical pleasure and they’re building a relationship with an adult who ‘loves’ them. According to the predators, it’s our social taboos and unrelenting persecution that’s actually bad for the child. How do you prove these predators wrong? Are you able to say that some sex acts are evil even when both parties want to do it? “Because kids shouldn’t be having anything to do with sex,” you’re absolutely right, but why are you right? As a Catholic, I can say it’s because a child is not emotionally, physically, or mentally ready to take on the responsibilities of being a parent. A secular person can’t say that and be consistent because they don’t think you have to be emotionally, physically, or mentally ready to be a parent in order to have anything to do with sex. The Catholic worldview doesn’t just tell you that pedophilia is wrong, it tells you exactly how and why it is wrong, and it does so in a consistent manner.

The Catholic Church has had its crimes, committed by its laypeople, priests, religious, bishops, and even popes. It has failed time and time again to live by its own teachings. But the fact remains that it is the only church with true teachings.

[antoine-roquentin]

The court set standards on when and how jurors can be subjected to background checks by prosecutors and established a process for challenging those investigations if discrimination is suspected. The justices also called for a judicial conference on jury selection -- which means the ruling could eventually result in even more much-needed reform to that process.

It’s a rare and commendable decision to re-examine the longstanding, difficult questions about how to eliminate discrimination in jury selection.

Katherine Carter, public information officer for the Essex County Prosecutor's Office, which handled Andujar's case, told me they're still reviewing the ruling.

"We believe the assistant prosecutor who tried the case acted in good faith based on the caselaw at the time" and "we do not believe that the prosecutor acted with any racial bias," Carter said. "We respect the ruling of the court and will apply it during retrial and any other cases going forward."

The undisputed facts about the proceedings make a pretty compelling case, on their own, that at least some implicit bias was at play.

One of the prospective jurors at Andujar’s trial was F.G., a Black man from Newark who worked for the East Orange Department of Public Works.

F.G. mentioned two family members who were cops. He’d grown up in a neighborhood with a lot of crime, and some of his friends had sold drugs. Crime victims also were part of his circles, including two cousins that were murdered, and a friend who was robbed at gunpoint.

“I think it just come[s] with the territory,” F.G. said.

F.G. stressed that he stayed away from criminal activity, the court said. He stated that he believed the judicial system was generally effective.

Prosecutors challenged F.G. for cause – meaning they argued he couldn’t be impartial or wouldn’t follow court instructions. They said his friends and background “draw into question whether he respects the criminal justice system,” according to the opinion.

Defense attorneys responded that F.G.’s story was typical for certain neighborhoods. The state’s position was “untenable” because it excludes too many people from places like Newark from serving on juries, Andujar’s counsel said.

The lower court rejected the prosecutors argument, saying there was no basis to dismiss F.G. for cause.

That's when the prosecution took a turn.

County attorneys ran a criminal history check on F.G., and  found an open municipal court warrant for simple assault (which includes attempting to physically harm another person, and physically threatening someone).

Prosecutors then contacted the city fugitive squad to have F.G. arrested before the next day of jury selection. When that didn’t pan out, they told the judge they were going to lock F.G. up during the next court date, and they renewed their for-cause challenge. The court ultimately arranged to excuse F.G. and have him arrested outside the other jurors' view.

After all that, the charges against F.G. were dropped two months later. It also bears noting that an outstanding warrant doesn’t actually bar someone from jury service in New Jersey.

On appeal, the Supreme Court noted that the “practice of running background checks on prospective jurors raises a question of first impression.”

Prosecutor's said it’s “extremely rare” for them to investigate jurors’ criminal records. But there are indications that the practice is more common than one might imagine.

I asked attorney Dennis Drasco, a member of Lum, Drasco & Positan in New Jersey, about the prevalence of the practice. Drasco has served on multiple panels and commissions to study and improve jury selection for over a decade, both with the state judiciary and with the American Bar Association.

"The problem is that a lot people don't even realize the effect of certain practices," Drasco said. The court's ruling as to implicit bias "is a wake up call" that the problematic practice exists, he said.

The Supreme Court in Andujar’s case said it couldn't question “the State’s good-faith belief that it had the authority to run the background check.” Even defense counsel didn’t formally object when the government moved to arrest F.G. -- a prospective juror who wouldn't have been arrested otherwise -- as an apparent means of excluding him from the pool. (Defense attorneys did put concerns on the record that prosecutors singled out a juror for a background check, and that the move implicated constitutional due process concerns.)

The deference to the prosecutors' move by the court and opposing counsel suggests the practice isn't entirely uncommon, and the high court’s review of case law also shows the practice is at least generally accepted.

Iowa allows prosecutors to conduct background checks on jurors for good cause, and with a court order. At least six  states allow it if prosecutors also disclose the information to defense attorneys. Just as many states, at least seven, “impose no such limits on the prosecution,” the court said.

New Jersey’s new rules require court permission before checking a juror's criminal history – and a “reasonable, individualized, good-faith” reason to believe it might reveal pertinent information that may not be uncovered by jury questionnaires or voir dire. Certain explanations will be considered presumptively invalid, the court said, including checking jurors' backgrounds simply because they express a distrust of law enforcement or lived in a high-crime neighborhood. And, if prosecutors move to strike a juror based on the results, the defense can still challenge that strike as discriminatory.

It’s a solid start, and the court clearly believes there’s more work to be done.

to summarize, a black guy showed up for jury duty and said yeah, he knew people who sold drugs cause he lived in a poor neighbourhood. prosecutors tried to strike him but defense noted that if we struck everybody who knew drug dealers from juries, we’d be ending up with racially biased juries. prosecution then ran a background check and came up with something minor to arrest him with when he showed up for jury duty. the new jersey supreme court ended up calling out the prosecutor’s conduct, although only verbally, but more importantly used it as grounds to give the defendant in that case a new trial.

[lailyn]

Take My Breath Away Part 3 (Complete)

(TW: Paraysis, Angst, Sap so sticky it'll give you sticky eyes)

The first few weeks after Loki awakened from his month-long sleep were the hardest, on Loki and Stephen both. 

Stephen had anticipated hard times ahead, had even braced himself for the worst, but nothing could have prepared him for Loki's reaction upon discovering the true extent of his disabilities. 

Given the choice, he would rather face Loki's wrath than this complete and utter silence; if not for the despair in Loki's eyes every time he tried to move his legs and failed, Stephen would have thought Loki had slipped into a catatonic state.

Hell, catatonia would have been easier to handle than this stony muteness. If open communication had been scarce before, it was nonexistent now. 

If brought food, Loki would eat. In the absence of it, Loki would not ask.

Carrying him to the commode for daily toileting was solely Stephen's duty. That was the only good thing about Loki's muteness; the only evidence of his displeasure was a deep frown that began to leave permanent lines on Loki's face the thinner he got.

Loki did not ask if the paralysis was going to be temporary, and Stephen did not tell him that it was likely to be permanent. It was not important. 

Then suddenly, out of the blue, Loki began to speak. 

That night it rained heavily in New Asgard. Having bundled Loki up in his furs, Stephen settled down in front of the fireplace as was his routine; getting into bed with Loki still awake was unsettling, the way his sunken eyes would follow Stephen everywhere, saying everything and at the same time, nothing at all.

"Go home, Stephen," a voice, rough from disuse, pierced the silence, and he nearly fell out of his chair.

"Loki," he gasped, heart beating at a hundred miles per hour. 

"Go home," the pale figure on the bed repeated, before it closed its eyes and said nothing further till days later. 

Wong had paid them a visit, bringing news from the Sanctum and arms overflowing with gifts from Bruce and Tony.

All is well, his fellow Guardian assured him. Take as much time as you need. I've got your back. 

Stephen had never been more grateful for the very few people in his life he could call friends. 

*********************************

 

 "Who is Jonathan Pangborn?"

Stephen paused in the midst of upending the last scoop of protein powder into the tumbler and slowly raised his face with dread.

"Wong mentioned the name when he came to visit yesterday." 

"He...was a patient of mine.” Stephen closed the lid over the tumbler and gave it a good swirl before making his way back to the couch. “Well. Not really. I turned him away because his spinal cord was permanently damaged and there was nothing modern medicine could do."

He waited until Loki took his first sip of the liquid breakfast before speaking again. "The Ancient One got him walking again by teaching him how to manipulate dimensional energy to his advantage."

Loki did not raise his face, but the almost imperceptible spasm of his fingers as they tightened around the tumbler gave him away. 

"You do not approve?" he asked quietly. 

When Stephen did not answer promptly, Loki decided probing further was the only option left to him. He did not expect his boyfriend to be forthcoming to begin with, but Stephen’s reticence was wearing him thin nonetheless. 

“There has to be an explanation as to why you are refraining, when such treatment exists.”

Stephen sighed and raked a hand through his hair in frustration. “Did Wong tell you how Jonathan Pangborn lost it all back and is now worse off than before?”

“Are the Masters of the Mystic Arts aware of just how little faith their Sorcerer Supreme has in their own métier?”

“The sorcerer who ripped the magic out of Pangborn and left him lying on the floor of his garage for days was a Master of the Mystic Arts,” Stephen retorted. 

Loki looked up in alarm.

“I will not have that happen to you,” Stephen vowed. “I will have you back on your feet and at your full strength even if it kills me. And I will do it my way.”

And that was the last time they ever spoke of Pangborn and the last time Loki doubted Stephen over some well-meaning but unsolicited advice.

*************************

 

 Stephen wiped Loki’s front first, suppressing the urge to count each rib as he worked his way down. The once toned, if not a little lean, torso had lost most of its musculature and as he followed the groove of Loki’s concave abdomen, the lump in Stephen’s throat grew. 

Before emotions could take over him and render him ineffective, Stephen moved on to Loki’s back. He lifted Loki’s hair off his neck and carefully wiped him down starting from the nape down to the base of Loki’s spine. 

He worried that he had been taking too long when he could sense Loki shivering; Stephen was just about to wrap a clean towel around his lover’s shoulders when he realised that Loki was weeping.

“Hey,” Stephen walked his knees across the tiles and crouched in front of Loki. He peered up anxiously. “What’s wrong? Am I hurting you?”

Loki shook his head. He could hardly speak for the deluge of tears draining down the back of his throat from the futile effort of holding it all in. 

“This is beneath you,” he wept.

What could Stephen say when no words existed that could assuage the pain in both their hearts? What reassurances could he give that Loki would not find empty and invalidating?

He could not very well ignore Loki and say nothing, could he?

It was an impossible situation. Keeping silent was a crime in itself, as evidenced by Loki’s apocalyptic downward spiral into despair and self-loathing. 

“Just leave me,” Loki begged. 

Stephen shook his head. “No way.”

Of course anyone could perform this task. Any of Loki’s servants could. 

But would a servant be as gentle with Loki, as empathetic, as unconditional? 

Loki hung his head low, his hair falling over his face. "I will not have you debase yourself like this, Stephen."

Stephen combed Loki’s wet locks away with his fingers. 

"Do you remember the first Broadway show I took you to?" 

Loki nodded, his thin shoulders hitching with silent sobs. 

"Live in my house…" Stephen began to sing softly, quietly. "I'll be your shelter.." 

He pulled the towel off Loki's shoulders and over his head.

"Just pay me back in one thousand kisses…"

He dried Loki's face with the towel gently, "Be my lover, and I'll cover you…"

Loki's face crumpled, and because Stephen simply could not bear the sight of more tears, he grabbed the back of Loki’s head and pressed their foreheads together. 

“Don’t take this away from me, Loki. I need this.” 

He kissed Loki’s lips and cursed the salt he could taste on his tongue. “I need you.”

*************************

 

 “Stephen.”

“Hmm?” Stephen paused in the middle of flexing and extending Loki’s knee. They had skipped only a day of rehabilitative exercise and already the limb felt stiff and disjointed. 

He carefully placed Loki’s leg on his lap and turned his full attention to his lover, who had been staring at the ceiling for the past fifteen minutes. “What is it, Loki?”

“I don’t blame you,” Loki said. 

Stephen knew better than to ask as to what Loki was alluding to. There was no bigger elephant in the room, certainly not since Loki had fallen ill.

“It was my choice.”

The gentleness with which Loki delivered his acquittal was something Stephen was not expecting and it threw him for a loop; his rebuke came across brusque and sharp in response. “I shouldn’t have let you.”

“It was my choice,” Loki repeated adamantly. “I will not ask if you knew this was going to happen - "

"I didn't," Stephen insisted. "Loki, I swear, I didn't know."

"It doesn't matter," Loki said, his tone soft despite the flatness of his voice. "Given the choice, it is one that I would make, again and again."

“Even after everything?” Stephen demanded. “Honestly how can you care so little for yourself?”

“I am not sorry for what I did, Stephen,” Loki said stubbornly. “This is a necessary pain.”

"Why?" Something surged in Stephen and it felt too much like rage to be anything else. "Why do we have to be this?"

"Surely it doesn't surprise you anymore?" Loki sighed, closing his eyes.

He did not like seeing Stephen upset. It was not the first time Loki's self-sacrifice schema had driven a rift between them, and it would not be the last.

"It was just the flu, Loki."

His eyes still closed, Loki reached up a hand, relying on memory to brush his thumb along the high arc of Stephen's cheekbone. "It was not necessary for you."

Stephen's vision blurred but no matter how much he blinked, it would not clear. "Is that how you justify this?"

Loki's hand fell away but Stephen grabbed it on its way down and held it up again, palming it in place. If Loki would not see him cry, he could damn well feel the tears for himself. 

“Do you ever think about what it feels like for me, seeing you like this?" Stephen asked, his voice cracking. “It breaks my heart, Loki.”

Loki clawed the suede couch and pulled his upper body up with a strength he did not know he possessed. Just as he was about to fall backward from exertion he caught Stephen around the waist, and Stephen his back. 

They held each other in the awkward position for what felt like hours, neither pulling the other up or down, both suspended in perfect balance. 

“For that...I am truly sorry,” Loki whispered. “Forgive me.”

Stephen laid Loki back down on the couch again when the trembling became too tremulous to ignore. “I already did.”

He picked up Loki’s slim ankle and dotted feathery kisses up the bone-thin shin, “I always will.”

All of a sudden, Loki gasped and bucked violently.

“What is it?” Stephen asked, running his hands frantically all over Loki’s body, expecting to find some source of pain. Instead he saw awe and delight. 

“I can feel that,” Loki breathed out. 

“What?” Stephen asked, just as breathlessly. 

“Kiss me again,” Loki ordered. 

Holding Loki's foot aloft, Stephen pressed a kiss to the bony ankle, all the while keeping a doubtful eye on its owner. 

The enraptured expression on Loki's face was all the confirmation Stephen needed and before he could stop himself, he lunged. 

"What does this mean?" Loki pummelled Stephen with question after question. "Is this good or bad? Am I getting better? Stephen, what - "

But he could not complete his sentence for apparently simply embracing was not enough; the utterly speechless Stephen needed to kiss him too, this time on the lips.

"Oh, Loki," Stephen's merry laughter rang sweet and clear as bells, the sheer relief permeating every note. "Loki, Loki…"

 *************************

 

It did not take long for the news to spread. Either there was a hidden camera somewhere in the room streaming live feed to every mutual friend they knew, or Stephen's network of social contacts had now included Loki's brother.

Thor appeared not a day later, his guarded optimism cutting through the shadows like a beam of warm sunshine. 

"Is it true?" He boomed.

Loki maintained a straight face, tipping his chin in the direction of his wiggling toes.

Thor's nose flared as he visibly struggled to contain his emotions. 

Loki sighed and reluctantly stretched out an arm, finally taking pity on him. "Brother…"

Thor closed the last few yards to the couch in a sprint.

"I worried you," Loki murmured. 

"You fool," Thor said affectionately, accepting the unspoken apology by tightening his arms around his brother in a fierce embrace. "You didn't worry me one damn bit."

 *************************

 

“I can do it, Stephen.” Loki grabbed the glass from the tray with one hand and physically pushed Stephen backward with the other. “I’m not an invalid.”

Stephen warily watched Loki take a few gulps at once. 

"Hey, easy - " He was about to warn Loki to take it slow, when he was unceremoniously shot down with a scathing glare. 

“Say ‘easy’ one more time and I will smother you in your sleep.”

Stephen smiled. Loki’s threats were some of the most colourful he had heard in all his career. “Beats ripping my heart out and serving it to me still warm and beating.”

“That was yesterday,” Loki grumbled.

Some twenty minutes later, he proudly presented Stephen with a very empty glass. It was the first meal Loki had eaten in its entirety without coughing or choking, and Stephen could not contain his joy. 

“Stop kissing me!” Loki flailed amid the flurry of kisses Stephen was showering his face with. 

He must have been reduced to laughing, for never had he seen Stephen look so spellbound. "What?"

"You're beautiful." Misty-eyed, Stephen fingered the corner of Loki's mouth. "Never thought I'd hear you laugh again."

"It's a one-time thing," Loki said, but his facial muscles were starting to betray him again; now that he was regaining strength day by day, they were back to their mischievous selves, and Loki found himself quickly losing to their autonomy. 

"I can't stop smiling," Loki grumbled, "but this isn't me." 

"Sure." Stephen's own wistful smile widened into a grin. "I totally believe you."

 *************************

It was on a bright, sunny afternoon a few weeks later that Loki decided he was going to walk. 

"Outside," he requested. 

Despite making the fastest progress Stephen kept saying he had ever seen in a patient in all his years as a neurosurgeon, Loki had been far too embarrassed with his still-unsteady gait to venture beyond the confines of his bedroom.

"Are you sure?" Stephen asked quietly.

"Yes," Loki said with a calm confidence. "I am ready."

"Where would you like to go?"

"I want to be where people and noise are plenty."

Stephen laughed at the strangely-worded yet quintessentially Loki request. 

A New York minute later, they found themselves wading through the crowd at Times Square.

It was hardly the most relaxing stroll, but Loki had asked for chaos, and there was no place on earth more chaotic than the Big Apple.

The thought of Loki ambling slowly amid unapologetically impatient New Yorkers had worried him initially, but for some reason, people veered out of their path, parting around them without so much as a dirty look. 

Still, Stephen kept a steadying hand on the small of Loki's back. A powerful thing, force of habit. 

Before long, they reached the theatre district and Stephen's mind flew to the time when they first started seeing each other and how Loki would drag him to see a new play every chance he got. 

"Stephen, look." Loki's face lit up in multi-coloured lights from the billboard overhead. "Rent is showing again."

"Huh." Stephen could not believe his luck. "They must have revived it."

"Perhaps we should ask inside if they have last-minute tickets," Loki said slowly, trying to hide his excitement. "You...could ask nicely for a discount?"

When Stephen did not answer, Loki looked down to where Stephen had suddenly dropped to one knee.

"Stephen?"

"I'm just doing your laces," Stephen mumbled. 

Loki frowned. "But I'm wearing...loafers…"

His heart stopped.

"What is the meaning of this?" Loki whispered, every drop of blood draining from his face.

"Loki Odinson…"

Stephen's voice quaked but the hope in his eyes was as bright as the gleaming band in his hand. "Will you do me the honour of being my husband?"

Loki could not breathe, could not think -

What was happening to him?

"Come on, dude, just say yes!" A voice he had never heard before jolted him out of his stunned reverie.

Stephen was still staring up at him in earnest, and Loki had never seen a face as kind, eyes as gentle. 

A crowd had formed around them but in that moment, there was only him, and Stephen, and the promise of love everlasting and a 

"Thousand kisses," Loki vowed, tears quicky filling his eyes, "You...will take payment in kisses, yes?"

Stephen answered serenely, "Yes." 

"Then...yes." 

The crowd around them erupted in wild cheers as Stephen leaped to his feet and slipped the ring onto Loki's hand, which was shaking harder than Stephen's for once -

"A thousand sweet kisses," Stephen gloated and he leaned in to claim their first kiss as the newly betrothed. "Starting now."

[questionsonislam]

What is Murted? Who is called an apostate; ex-Muslim? Can a Muslim be addressed as kafir (unbeliever)?

Murtad is the noun form of the verb irtidad, which means to return, to ask the return of and to go back to the previous state. As a religious term, the word murtad is used to describe a person who converted to another religion or to atheism after being a Muslim. Deserting the religion is defined as “riddah” (conversion).

A Muslim cannot be addressed as kafir (unbeliever). The Messenger of Allah said; "If a man says to his brother, O kafir (unbeliever)!' Then surely one of them is such (i.e., a kafir).” (Bukhari, Adab, 73; Muslim, Eeman, 111). "Allah has made hellfire haram for a person who witnesses that there is no god but Allah and that Muhammad is His messenger” (Bukhari, Ilm, 49).

The apostasy of an insane person and a child do not necessitate the punishment of murtad: "There are three (persons) whose actions are not recorded: a sleeper till he awakes, an idiot till he is restored to reason, and a boy till he reaches puberty; those three groups are not responsible for what they have done " (Abu Dawud, Hudud, 17; Tirmidhi, Hudud,1; Nasai, Talaq, 21; Ibn Majah, Talaq, 15).

Apart from those mentioned above, a person who utters a word necessitating unbelief unintentionally is not regarded a murtad:

"Allah does not hold my umma (community) responsible for the things that they do by mistake, by forgetting and under compulsion." (Ibn Majah, Talaq, 16).

Riddah is not in question for a person whose heart is full of belief but says that he has deserted his religion under compulsion: "Anyone who, after accepting faith in Allah, utters unbelief― except under compulsion, his heart remaining firm in Faith― but such as open their breast to unbelief― on them is Wrath from Allah, and theirs will be a dreadful Penalty." (an-Nahl,16/106). There is a criterion of compulsion. It is not regarded as compulsion to be forced to drink alcohol, to eat the meat of a dead person or to be threatened by being beaten or imprisoned; it necessitates hadd (punishment for serious crimes) punishment. Only being threatened by death can be regarded as an excuse if the threatening person has the power to do so. If the person shows patience, does not desert his religion and is killed, he will receive great rewards in return.

Before the hadd punishment is executed, the murtad is asked to repent and to return to Islam. However, there is disagreement among scholars as to how to do it. According to most of the scholars, if he does not repent, he is killed after he is asked to repent three times. Hazrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) says that the murtad is imprisoned for three days and is asked to repent and that he should be given bread as food during that period. The hadd punishment is definitely the duty of the state. Nobody else can give that punishment.

Hazrat Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) carried out that period as a month. An-Nahai claims that there should not be a time limit and that he should be asked to return to Islam until he repents.

When the murtad deserts Islam, all of his good deeds are wiped off and he stays in Hell everlastingly: "If any of you turn back from their faith and die in unbelief, their works will bear no fruit in this life and in the Hereafter; they will be Companions of the Fire and will abide therein." (al-Baqara, 2/217).

It is valid if the murtad does not repent. Islamic scholars have different views whether the deeds of the murtad before his ridddah are wiped off if he repents and returns to Islam. According to Imam Shafii, no good deed of the murtad including hajj is wiped off if he returns to Islam. According to Imam Malik, all of his deeds are wiped off as soon as he deserts Islam. (al-Qurtubi, al-Jami'li Ahkami'l-Qur'an, Beirut 1965, III, 48).

The marriage becomes invalid with riddah. However, if the murtad returns to Islam and if both parties want to continue their marriage, a new marriage ceremony and mahr are not in question. Hanafis regard divorce due to riddah as talaq bain (irrevocable divorce). The murtad cannot be an heir to his Muslim relatives; when he dies, his Muslim relatives cannot be heirs to him either: "A Muslim cannot be the heir of an unbeliever, nor can an unbeliever be the heir of a Muslim" (Bukhari, Faraid, 26; Muslim, Faraid, 1).

A committee of scholars should question the murtad in order to decide that a Muslim has deserted Islam. It is by no means correct to say that someone has become an unbeliever without such a questioning.

The following sentence is present in some creed books; “If someone has 99 signs of unbelief and one sign of belief, it is necessary for the mufti to decide that he is a believer.” What is meant by that sentence?

We are living in the last period of the mischief of the end of time starting to disappear, God willing. Some people regard avoiding sins as something blameworthy. The concepts of honor, chastity and modesty run away speedily from the crowded streets to narrow streets, back streets and quiet houses. They enter a house. Just as they try to have some peace, an unbelievable machine starts to show visions from the furthest points of the world and loose off bullets with rays. They do not know what to do and only say, “end of time”.

On the other hand, the miracle of Hazrat Abraham (pbuh) is seen in many houses. Gardens, vineyards, nightingales, roses… in the middle of that fire. People wonder about the result of that fighting: will the fire swallow the water, or will the water extinguish the fire? If you have managed to produce even one single date in a place in the coldest period of the year, it means dates can be produced there... It depends on our efforts. It will not solve the problem to organize meetings against the cold, to shout, yell and to fight the cold. It is necessary to search ways to increase that one single date to one thousand, millions…

The mischief of today that is always before our eyes cause some Muslims to act but it drives others to desperation. Since they cannot canalize the enthusiasm in them, they console themselves by cursing the sinners, attacking rebels and accusing them of unbelief. The devil drives those kinds of Muslims to the brink of a great danger and of a terrifying precipice.

Let us listen to our Prophet (pbuh): “If a man calls his brother an unbeliever, either of them definitely becomes an unbeliever.” It is the most painful state of the case of out of the frying pan into the fire... The soul always forces a person; the devil constantly encourages him to curse that person, to beat this one and to call another one a hypocrite (munafiq)! It is a great problem of ours. It will be appropriate to deal with as much as we can.

Suppose that we see someone who is committing a sin; we do not know him. A fight starts in our inner world. We remain in between thinking good things or bad things about that person. The soul says if that man were not an unbeliever, he would not commit that great sin... the heart and the conscience say, “committing a great sin does not make a person an unbeliever; maybe he is committing that sin because he cannot control his soul or because he is ignorant not because he is an unbeliever; he is a sinner but it is necessary not to claim that he is an unbeliever at once” and prefer to be cautious.

The discussion whether “a person who commits a great sin an unbeliever or not” lasted for centuries between the scholars of Ahl as-Sunnah and Kharijites and Mutazila. While Kharijites claimed that every sinner would become an unbeliever, go to Hell and stay there forever whether it was a great sin or a small sin, Mutazila defended the view that a person who commits great sins would be neither an unbeliever nor a Muslim but remain in-between. Thus, both groups moved away from the truth and went astray.

The winner of that fight turned out to be Ahl as-Sunnah. The flags of that victory are numerous. We will report only two of them: Yahya bin Muadh says: “a belief of one moment eliminates a belief of seventy years. Then, how can a belief of seventy years be destroyed by a sin of one moment?”

As opposed to Kharijites, who misinterpret the verse “If any do fail to judge by (the light of) what Allah hath revealed, they are (no better than) Unbelievers” (al-Maeda, 44) and say, “Everybody who disobeys Allah and commits sins is an unbeliever”, Fahruddin Razi, who analyzes the views of Ahl as-Sunnah scholars like a chemist says the most sagacious view regarding the issue belongs to Hazrat Ikrima (may Allah be pleased with him).

Let us read together the words of Ikrima that are like our victory flag: “The words of God Almighty ‘If any do fail to judge by (the light of) what Allah hath revealed...’ include those who deny both in their hearts and through their tongues. As for the person who knows in his heart that it is the judgment of Allah and then accepts through his tongue that it is the judgment of Allah but acts contrarily, he is regarded to have judged by the light of Allah but not to have done it actually. Therefore, it is not necessary for such a person to be included in the decree of that verse...” (Tafsir Kabir-9/86)

We lived in a period of interregnum in our recent history. Superstitions rose again; corrupt ideas revived… takfir (saying that someone is unbeliever) was in vogue again. However, this time it was not by Kharijites. What was strange those who did it did not know what Kharijites and Mutazila were; they did not even know what the words of unbelief (alfaz kufr) were. They had seals of some slogans that they memorized and sealed anybody that they met with them. They did not know about the hadith of the Prophet about takfir…

Let us start the issue of takfir with the definition of kufr (unbelief): What is kufr? In the dictionary, kufr means ingratitude to the bounties, concealing the bounties, denying the bounties. As a religious term, kufr means, “to deny and refute the truths of belief on his own will without any force, or not to approve them, to despise the holy things that need to be believed, to make fun of them , and to accept haram as halal and halal as haram”.

Belief becomes fixed through belief with the heart and confession with the tongue; kufr becomes fixed in the same way. Here, we are faced with the issue of words of unbelief, that is, the words that make a person an unbeliever when uttered.

When we hear someone say those words, can we call him an unbeliever at once? At that point, our scholars ask us this question: do you have any knowledge about his heart? Has he uttered that word because of his ignorance or due to his hostility against holy things or in order to make fun of holy things? That point is very important. And that sensitivity is valid for deeds too...

A scholar attracts our attention to that point by saying, “there is a big difference between denying a deed and not committing a deed.” Denying a deed means denying an action or a duty and saying, “there is nothing like that”. Not committing a deed means not carrying out that deed despite accepting that it exists. Denying daily prayers is something and not performing them is something else. The former is denying and the latter is not committing.

Accordingly, if a person denies the Quranic command of daily prayers, he becomes an unbeliever; however, if he does not perform prayers though he accepts that command, he does not become an unbeliever. The same thing is valid for committing harams. If a person accepts that the Quran has prohibited interest and it is a divine prohibition to give and take interest but he commits that haram as a result of not being able to control his soul, it is clear that he will not be an unbeliever.

Now let us listen to another scholar: “If a word uttered by someone necessitates unbelief in many aspects but belief in one aspect, the mufti should prefer the latter. It is essential to have a good opinion about Muslims.” We see two of our illnesses in those sentences that emit information and knowledge. One of them is having bad opinions, that is, interpreting things in the bad way. The other is the duty of the mufti is undertaken by everybody. Fatwa is in the hands of ignorant people...

He continues as follows: “There is an important point here. If the intention of that man is not unbelief, he is a Muslim; however, if his intention is unbelief, the fatwa of the mufti will do him no good.”

The following concise, satisfying and wonderful sentences about takfir present in “Sünuhat”, one of the books of Risale-i Nur Collection, should be memorized by the people of this age and they should be practiced word by word. Otherwise, a person may commit sins and may drive the person he deals with away from Islam... “For instance, someone says that thing is kufr. That is, that attribute has not originated from belief; that attribute is kufr. It can be said that that person committed kufr with that word. However, since the thing that has been qualified by it is innocent and it has originated from belief and it has some other attributes that has the qualities of belief, it cannot be said that that person is an unbeliever unless it is definitely known that that attribute originates from unbelief... It may originate due to some other reasons too. There exists doubt in the indication of the attribute. There is definite knowledge about the existence of belief. Doubt cannot eliminate the decree about definite knowledge. Those who dare to say that someone is an unbeliever so quickly should think twice!...” (Sünuhat, 20)

That is, there may be some attributes originating from ignorance, debauchery or some other source not from belief in a believer. Those attributes are defined as unbeliever. That believer has many other innocent attributes originating from his belief. Those attributes prevent us from saying that he is an unbeliever. Therefore, if that believer has uttered a word of unbelief or if he has committed some deeds that only unbelievers do, we cannot say that he is an unbeliever unless we definitely know that they originate from unbelief, that is he says or commits them with the intention of unbelief, denying Islam. The sentence, “there exists doubt in the indication of the attribute” prevents us from giving a judgment. That is, it is doubtful that the thing he has done, the word he has uttered, the attribute he has are indications that he is an unbeliever. We do not know definitely that he does them with the intention of unbelief but we know that he is a believer. If we ask him, he will say that he is a believer, a Muslim. Therefore, there is certainty and definite information about his belief. However, there is doubt, assumption and prediction in the existence of unbelief. We cannot eliminate certainty with doubt and we cannot call him an unbeliever.

The following answer of Al-Azhari to the question “Can a person who says the Quran was created be called an unbeliever?” is wonderful:

– What he says is unbelief!..

He is asked the same question three times repeatedly. He gives the same answer and says:

– Sometimes a Muslim can utter words of unbelief.

Let us have a look at Risale-i Nur Collection again – this time at “Münazarat” –, which diagnoses and cures one of our illnesses.

There may be disagreement about foreign policy among Muslims. It is quite natural. It should be deemed within the scope of freedom of thought. However, sometimes, people pass the limit in those discussions. When someone feels that his idea is defeated, he dares to say that the person against him is an unbeliever. He sometimes says, “You have supported Christians with that idea of yours and have become an unbeliever”. When you try to correct that mistake of his, he raises his voice and says confidently, “does the Quran not say ‘take not the Jews and the Christians for your friends and protectors’?” and he shouts at you. The cure for that great mistake, that terrifying illness and that big accusation with great responsibility are in the following sentences: “That prohibition of friendship with Christians and Jews is due to their being mirrors of Christianity and Judaism. A person is not loved because of his individuality; he may be loved because of his attributes and art.”

That is, the verse prohibits loving Judaism and Christianity. For instance, loving a Christian country because of its Christianity is included in the prohibition of the verse; loving and appreciating the art and technology of that country are not.

The sentences we have quoted above end as follows: “If you have a wife from the People of the Book (Christians and Jews), you should definitely love her.” That is, if a Muslim has a wife from the People of the Book, for instance a Christian, he should love her because she is her wife but he should not love her Christianity. Being deprived of that fine criterion costs us a lot...

By the way, I want to mention a hadith that is misinterpreted. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) lists the signs of a munafiq in a hadith as follows: “When he speaks, he lies. When he makes a promise, he does not keep it. When he is entrusted something, he betrays.”

A great method of pedagogy is hidden in that hadith. Every Muslim, including those that misinterpret that hadith, knows very well that “telling lies”, “breaking promises” and betraying trusts” do not make a person an unbeliever. We all know that a munafiq is worse than an unbeliever because a munafiq is someone who is an unbeliever actually but conceals it and acts as if he is a Muslim. That man is the secret enemy of Islam and he is more dangerous than an open enemy. It is not certain when and how he will shoot you.

Then, is it possible to say that a Muslim who tells lies is worse than such a traitor, an unbeliever? Of course not. Then, we should understand the fine point in the hadith as follows. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) warns Muslims with his words: “Never approach those sins! They are the attributes of a munafiq, who is worse than an unbeliever.” It is an extraordinary effective warning and a method of keeping people away from something. It is a big murder like takfir, a great sin, great ignorance and a terrifying bad thought to accuse a believer of being a munafiq who commits those sins…

There is a joke that we listened to a lot when we were children. It expresses the psychology of the people who look forward to saying that some believers are unbelievers: A man was given the nickname ‘duck’. People used to call him by his nickname not by his name. Once, somebody says, “the weather is cloudy today” while talking. That man starts to shout and insult at him saying, “Why did you call me a duck? Why did you say so?” The man is surprised and asks kindly, “Brother! When did I call you a duck?” He answered: “When the weather is cloudy, it rains; when it rains, ponds and pools form; Ducks swim in the ponds and pools.”

Unfortunately, today, we see many people who interpret each word and action of believers as kufr through various excuses. Did our scholars, saints, leaders act like that?... Here are two statements that are similar to each other: it is certain that they drank water from the same fountain and they received the same education:

“Those who know ‘Said’ know that he avoids takfir as much as possible. Even if he sees an obvious kufr in a man, he tries to interpret it. He does not say he is an unbeliever.”

“It is necessary to interpret the word of a Muslim in a good way even if it is a weak narration.”

Today, all of the Islamic world is in need of industrious Muslims who are knowledgeable, virtuous, and modest, who try to solve the problems of others, who feel sorry for sinners like a compassionate father...

People who are ignorant, who shout at people, do not know what correction is, think that cursing the patient is a method of treatment, who are inconsiderate, without affection, ill-tempered, who are ready to commit cruelty in the name of the truth if they have the opportunity cannot represent Islam...

Our duty is to try to put our souls into the first group, to try to make others like that and to pray for our brothers who were drifted into the other group unintentionally.

At this point, the following hadith is a great guidance for all believers:!.. Abu Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates. Somebody said to the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) , – O Messenger of Allah! Curse the polytheists, damn them! He answered: I was sent as a mercy not as a curser!..

[legalmargamind]

Since you're a lawyer the girl that claimed sexual assault on R@y she said shes poor amd can't afford a lawyer. She doesn't have full proof but there's a lot of proof that he was there at the 2017 con. She keeps getting a lot of hate/overwhelming tweets toward her & she said "Ik It could have been an accident" which is unhelpful to her b/c in the court they will use that to invalidate her b/c she'd "backtracked" right? But I believe her b/c she said her intentions isn't 2 break up kat & R@y

M’kay I will speak in a general way again, legally:

First of all.. I just wanna say that, My heart goes out to all victims of Rape, Sexual assault, and all kinds of abuse and crime of a similar nature, all over the world. You are brave and you are loved. Remember that. 🌹

If you are a victim of any of these crimes and thinks that getting justice is hard. It may seem like it but it is not:

1. If money is the problem. Check the Law Firms in your city, they always have what we call a “pro bono case” that means it is free of legal charge and cases which are handled in pro bono usually are those cases of abuse against women or rape or even sexual assault. Anything against the rights of women. The Public Attorneys that are paid by the goverment won’t even ask for a single cent.

2. The reason why I prefer a court trial against these perpetrators, is because they could actually rot in jail and pay damages for the anguish and sleepless nights it caused the victim. If they go free, they have a permanent bad record under their name. Have faith in Lady Justice. She is the best.

Unfortunately, I do not discuss any Law court “move” or tactic in my blog babe.

For the following reasons:

1. It can affect future cases or even on going cases.

2. Lawyers do not speak and cannot speak unless we have actually talked to the victims face to face, and know ALL THE FACTS. And if we know all the facts, we can only speak to the victims about it. That is what you call an Attorney-Client privilege. Verified facts are very significant for us. It is the backbone of your prosecution or defense. That’s how you come up with a plan. We cannot reason out with unverified facts ever.

3. If the case goes on trial, we are prohibited to publicly speak about it until the final judgment comes.

[diazevans]

these hands had to let it go free (this love came back to me)

In the end, the first council doesn’t last.

Tyrion Lannister is the third to go and no one is really surprised.

or

Tyrion and Sansa have a conversation about the past, that leads to beautiful things. 

part 2 of 3. { part 1 }

It's just his luck that he is in the North for the anniversary of the Long Night.

There is no feast, but something like that and Tyrion finds himself sit beside the Queen, seeing his men and her people mingle and drink for those who left then too soon, sharing stories that will preserve them forever. His eyes keep moving back to her, but Sansa seems far away, somewhere he can't reach no matter how many witty comments he makes to ease the tension on her shoulders.

Her cup of wine is untouched on her hand and he wants nothing more than put it aside so he can reach for her palm, to give her some comfort for whatever sorrow she is remembering. She has many too choose from, sadly.

Everyone starts to get potentially drunker and he tries his best to not drown himself in the wine; he wouldn't be able to ignore her pain even with all the alcohol in the world.

After a while and some speeches, Sansa excuses herself and tells everyone to keep enjoying the celebrations. Tyrion is about to leave too when, for the first time in the whole night, her piercing blue eyes land on him. Whatever he is about to say gets stuck in his throat as she looks him over, considering him.

"Come, Lord Tyrion. There is a matter we shall discuss" Her voice is all business and steadiness, something he is quite used to when they are in the presence of others, but that something that underlines all of their private interactions is also there, and he is left to do nothing but follow her without comment.

For a clever man, he has no idea what is happening. He is actually considering his options so hard that he doesn't realize he is following her to a part of the castle he has never in, until she opens a door and leads him to what clearly are her rooms. It sets him mind in blank, but Sansa takes no notice of this and walks right to the small table, pouring them both something to drink. Tyrion is still speechless and unmoving, something that makes her smile.

"I have never seen a lion wear that expression" Her voice brings him back and if he wasn't a grown ass man, he would had blush. He still does, a little bit and he wants to think that is the reason her eyes soften in the edges.

"Is not proper that I'm in your rooms, your Majesty" Sansa looks at him amused for a moment, before turning her back and drinking a sip of her glass.

"You are not the first one to be here" And that is enough to send his poor heart to an ultimate deceased. Of course she would had someone else, she is the most beautiful woman in the entire world and not only that, but a queen who could have anyone she desires. If he was stupid enough to be faithful to an invalid marriage, that was clearly on him. "Theon was here the night before the battle" Again, her words stop his quick mind and Tyrion doesn't miss the sadness in her voice. It was him who she was thinking about in the feast, then.

Theon had never being his favorite person, far from it, but he was grateful for him after Sansa told him about how they got free from Ramsey. He had done what Tyrion couldn't, protecting her, and no matter how many cruel jokes passed between, that could never be erased.

Sansa doesn't look at him and continues talking, her eyes again looking at something that is not there. "We came here after we ate something, to wait for the signal. All of my siblings had somewhere else to be and we didn't want to be alone." Tyrion moves closer as she speaks, sitting in a chair beside the table and taking his wine, letting her say whatever she has to say. It doesn't matter it may break his heart in the process, it never has. "We talked until it was time and we said our goodbyes. I'm glad at least we got to have that"

"I'm glad you did too" The sentiment is sincere but it's mixed with his own feelings. He also got to say goodbye to Jamie, even when it didn't make anything easier. Tyrion is aware that is not the same, there were different kinds of love, but the loss is still great in both of their hearts. He can relate to that. And because he is stupid and jealous, he can't help but keep talking. "He would had being a good king, beside you"

There is no surprise in her eyes when she turns to look at him, but the understanding that someone who has thought about it before and agree with him. Still, she doesn't comment on it. "I already had two husbands. I don't plan to choose another one?"

"Never? And be alone for the rest of your days?" The only thought makes him sad, for her.

"I never said that"

There is a pause, and for the Hand of the King, that lasts for a million years. He looks right into her eyes, those blue ice that seem so warm when they are on him, like right there and understands something impossible. She is waiting for him to catch up with what she has already decided and it takes all the air out of his lungs that her, Sansa of House Stark, has chosen him against anyone else. Because that's what she means, he can't be wrong, but it still feels like he is walking in some kind of dream.

"Sansa…"

"You said we should had stayed married and I told you it could never work because of a queen that is already gone"

"That doesn't mean that…"

"In all those letters, in all of your time in the North, have you not seen it? Have you not notice that I want you?" Her body is completely angled at him now and there is frustration on her tone, close to the girl he met in King's Landing. In front of him there is a Queen, but still the same Sansa he admired since he met her.

And this Sansa, present Sansa, wants him. It makes him want to cry.

He thinks there may be real tears on his cheeks because the next thing he knows, she is leaning closer to him, cradling his face in her hands and cleaning something with her thumbs. How can someone think of her as emotionless, when she is able to communicate him so much with one look? He doesn't deserve this, her, after everything that he had done. After he had betrayed Daenerys, after he had killed his father and Shae; Tyrion doesn't deserve the mercy that is Sansa's affection, but gods, he is so grateful right now. He would do it all again, as selfish as it sounds, to be with her like this again. In a hundred life times, he would still choose her.

"Silly man" A quiet giggle comes out of her mouth, enough for him to smile chuckle back at her. She is beautiful when she smiles and laughs, so much that is a crime not to kiss her, and so he does. This time, he is allowed to and when he moves forward, she meets him in the middle.

It's like fireworks, but so much more.

It's home and safety, it's new and it's old, it's liberating but so terrifying at the same time.

When they part, Tyrion has to hold himself to follow her mouth or kiss her again, once he sees her expression after being kissed. By him, out of anyone.

It was going to take a while to get used to.

"I…" It's the first time he sees her doubt herself and he puts his hands over hers, to steady her. "It may be hard. I don't… Ramsey…"

"I'll be patient. We will go slowly, with everything"

Her mouth almost forms a pout, almost. "Not so slowly. I have wait weeks for you to realize that…"

"I have made my Queen wait for weeks?! I'm sure that is cause of treason" The joke makes the pout disappears on her face and another laugh to come out of her lips.

It's just his luck the best day of his life happens in the anniversary of the Long Night.

[pickledchickenetti]

Fake Christians

This morning, I woke up to a message that comedian Sarah Silverman had taken to twitter to call out Adam Fannin, a hateful Baptist preacher from Jacksonville, FL, who called for violence against her in one of his sermons. 

The name, look of the church, and style of preaching immediately screamed “Steven Anderson cult” to me, so I did a quick search and found that Stedfast Baptist Church is, in fact, a new IFB church. I also learned that Fannin was discovered to be part of the drama surrounding Donnie Romero early this year, and is no longer preaching at his former church in Jacksonville. The official church YouTube account posted a video this afternoon basically telling Sarah Silverman “Guess what, he’s not here any more but not because of what he said about you. You’re still a terrible person. He just also is a terrible person.” (The link is there as a source, but don’t click it if you don’t want to give them views.) 

The replies to Silverman’s tweets are largely supportive, with the occasional negative comment either weakly defending the pastor (i.e. “he’s not calling for violence, he’s just saying he wouldn’t mind if it happened”) or telling her the calls for violence are wrong but so were her words. (Her words about how she’d “crucify Jesus again” were from a comedy special and taken out of context, of course.) 

One common form of comment was about how Fannin isn’t a “real Christian”. While his words certainly don’t represent anything Christ stood for, it’s unfair to claim he isn’t a “real Christian” when so many Christians attend these churches and believe the same things. 

The concept of “fake Christians” is a common one expressed by Christians about people who poorly represent Christianity. (Disclaimer: I don’t know for a fact that any of these examples are actually Christians except for the one who says so in their tweet. My assertion about these comments often coming from Christians is based on years of experiences and observations. These examples are simply taken from the replies to yesterday’s tweet.) Any time something negative is said about Christians you can expect many Christians to chime in. “He’s not a real Christian!” “Real Christians never would have done that to you.” “This person clearly never was as Christian as they claim they were or they wouldn’t have left in such a big way.” The individuals this idea of “fake Christians” can be applied to are varied, but the idea behind it is always the same. Christians want to separate themselves from people who do awful things. They question or discredit someone’s faith because they don’t want to be associated with that person’s actions, nor do they want to believe that they or the people they love could do the same things. 

The problem with this line of reasoning, of course, is that it is a sign of privilege that they are allowed to get away with it. In the US, no other religion gets to separate itself from the horrible actions of its extremists. When a Muslim commits a major crime, hate crimes against Muslims go up. When a Christian commits a major crime, other Christians play the victim and talk about how that fake Christian took advantage of their “good name”. It’s a double standard that I’m sure many of us here are aware of. This is something I posted about fairly recently. This idea is also something that a lot of more liberal Christians are currently using as their way to explain the Christians who are supporting Trump. Obviously Trump’s hateful rhetoric does not exemplify the teachings of Christ, but he’s playing on the mentality that is widespread in American churches and it’s false to say any Christian who votes for Trump is a “fake Christian”. I highly recommend this article by Chrissy Stroop, who is much more eloquent in her discussion of this topic than I could ever hope to be. 

As for former Christians who have left the church/their faith, one of the most hurtful things a person can say to many of us is that we never truly believed or were never truly Christians. (For the record, while I have left the church, I do still consider myself a Christian. I would love to attend a church that represents my beliefs, but the “church” as it is currently known is America is not something I want a part of.) In my observation, the most vocal people who left the church are the ones who were once the most devoted. They weren’t faking that devotion. They truly believed. Many of them still do, but they can’t reconcile the fact that the church behaves in a way that goes against everything the Bible tells us that Jesus stood for. So they leave, often at great cost. Then they have their experiences (often the experiences of the first 18-20 years of their lives even) invalidated by people who have no right to do so. Not only that, but invalidates the extreme struggle a person goes through when they get to a point of leaving their faith. 

I know I have a number of followers who are still involved in Christian churches. I don’t know if any of you have ever been guilty of this (even in a well-intentioned way), but if you have been I beg of you to please look into this concept more and listen to the voices of those who have left the church. (I recommend Chrissy Stroop in general, and she retweets a lot of other great people who talk about similar subjects.) As a practicing Christian, if you disagree with the harmful and abusive actions of other Christians, it is absolutely your responsibility to stand up to them. You may not feel like they will listen to you, but you may have more of a voice than you know. You have a level of privilege that many of us will never have. Please help us. Work to improve the church you love from the inside. Those of us who weren’t able to stay would greatly appreciate it!

[korrasera]

I have a question that maybe you can answer I don't know but it's been puzzling me. If transmedicalists believe you need dysphoria to be trans why don't "trantrenders" just fake having dysphoria? That's so much easier than making another completely pretty solid theory for the trans experience. I know they want to gatekeep, and I know the good faith ones want more research but it just doesn't make sense to reject it when we know how complicated brain & body stuff gets.

This is a wonderful ask. It really got me to stop and think about that idea for a moment, because you kinda hit the nail right on the head. I'm also going to talk for a while now, so I'm burying this behind a cut:

The pattern we're looking at with transmeds is one that's common across our species because it really comes down to someone trying to invalidate your lived experiences.

Basically, when you tell someone what your life is like, it's a common feature among bigoted people to refuse to believe it. White people don't believe that black people have it that hard. White supremacists don't believe that Jewish people are peaceful. Misogynists don't believe women when we talk about the kind of shit we take from them. Bigots refuse to see someone as they are, and instead believe the rationalization that bigotry encourages must be the truth instead.

People do make unsupported claims and skepticism is generally a useful tool when evaluating them, but things change when someone is telling you about something that actually happened to them. Something that's a fundamental part of their experience. When people are telling you their lived experiences, you believe them. Skepticism in that circumstance means granting them the basic human dignity of being assumed that they're telling you the truth as they understand it and if you need to question it at all, you have a responsibility to respect that.

This is going to be uncomfortable, but consider it in the case of rape allegations.

If someone comes forward and explains that they've been raped, you start by believing them because they are the authority on the matter. And if you wind up being a participant in what follows, whether as support for the survivor or as part of the legal response to it, there are basically four scenarios that you have to consider:

It happened and they can prove it.

It happened and they cannot prove it.

It didn't happen.

The way people are educated about our criminal justice system in the US, #2 and #3 are treated as the same thing from both a legal and a moral perspective. It’s one thing to say that legally, because it’s a cornerstone of legal theory in the US that you have to be able to prove a crime. But people use that as a substitute for morality, accepting that legal position as their moral one. Basically, because the court says that you are innocent until you have been proven guilty, anyone who has not been proven guilty in court must be morally innocent.

Which is absolutely not the case.

Also, that doesn't track when it comes to the ethics. As you can see from that list above, if you treat someone like it didn't happen when it did? Just because they can't prove a crime that's notoriously difficult to actually prove? Well, that's pretty goddamn atrocious behavior. It does harm to an individual without demonstrating any upside for yourself or your community.

This is a microcosm of any case where someone tells another person that a lived experience is invalid, fake, or false. Just like what transmeds do with anyone who doesn't have dysphoria.

To get back to what you asked about, I think the answer is that non-dysphoric trans people often have faked having dysphoria because they've been forced to choose between being allowed to transition by medical authorities and living completely as themselves. People who, when seeking help to live their most authentic lives, are still forced to perform under a cover of unauthentic identity in order to access the care they need.

And that answer also tells us something interesting about transmeds: they've been told this and they don't care. I'd bet that they don't even think people like that can exist, and would probably rationalize it away as someone who's actually dysphoric but has just talked themselves into thinking they don't have dysphoria. Which means we're right back to square one, transmedicalists sitting there telling other trans people that they're liars.

Hence my position: Transmedicalists are authoritarian bigots that harm trans people.

[theharellan]

misconception: that solas doesn't form meaningful bonds during his time in the inquisition other than with a romanced inquisitor

send me meta this is actually a different meme but shush | accepting

i’ll be talking about this until the day i die, but solas makes plenty of meaningful relationships beyond not only the romanced inquisitor, but the inquisitor, period.

game mechanics overly emphasise the relationship between any canon companion and the play character, so i sort of understand where this misconception comes from. their arcs are decided, in part, by their relationship to the player and so it would be really invalidating if, say, you has negative solas approval but he still made it clear that he had accepted the reality of the world around him b/c of his friendship with the iron bull, for example. it’s one of the ways the developers make sure their choices matter.

luckily, this is an rp blog, so i can say that an inquisitor can treat solas like absolute shit and he’ll still make ties in the world and realise how fuckin wrong he was, as he well should.

i’m on a tangent and i haven’t even rly started answering this yet, so here we go:

a befriended inquisitor is just as important to solas as a romanced inquisitor. just as important to his development, to his epiphanies, etc. much of the dialogue goes unchanged regardless of if a relationship is platonic or romantic. even if he doesn’t have romantic feelings for the inquisitor, he still feels the whole world change upon meeting them. he still compares them to the ancient wisdoms he’s known in a pre-veil world. i’ve seen jokes that say the lines have romantic overtones, but really i think solas is just the sort of person to form highly emotional friendships. falon’din and dirthamen are implied not to be brothers, but “twin souls,” something that myself and other a-spec ppl have likened to queer platonic partners. while those two have undoubtedly sullied the term for anyone who opposes them, what i’m trying to demonstrate is that solas comes from a society that doesn’t find close platonic friendships odd.

but like i said, this goes beyond the inquisitor.

the fandom vastly understates his relationship with cole most of all. often he’s depicted as one of his fathers, which i can appreciate as a joke, but i feel like it undercuts how important that relationship is– for both of them.

cole goes to solas first when he’s experiencing trouble after adamant, not the inquisitor. not even if they’re a mage. b/c he knows he can trust solas to not use him. solas involves himself in cole’s well-being potentially even if he loathes the inquisitor and everything they are, something he didn’t do for wisdom’s sake, but is willing to for cole. and regardless of the option chosen, solas continues to support him and ask after him:

Solas: How do you feel, Cole? Are you…Cole: I am me. I cannot be bound, broken. I will help the hurt and kill the killers.Solas: I see. I… let me know if I can help.

solas offers affirmation and support for cole, talking him down from what seems to be a panic attack at one point:

Cole: It’s brighter here. Glittering. Glaring. Glinting. I can’t…Solas: It’s a mild tremor in the Veil. Nothing to worry about. Focus on what is here, in this world.Cole: But… what is here?Solas: Feel the ground, the breath in your lungs, fabric rustling against your skin.Cole: (Breathes.) Thank you.Solas: It’s nothing. It can be overwhelming for anyone.

and when cole tries to fix what’s fundamentally broken in solas, solas doesn’t spurn him. this isn’t to say characters who do react with venom when cole oversteps bounds are wrong, cole being able to see in heads doesn’t mean he has the right to speak their pain aloud, but i think it demonstrates the patience solas has for cole being who he is. it has the potential to go down a path that solas doesn’t quite… get. assuming the trespasser line “he didn’t want a body, but she asked him to come” is referring to solas, solas is someone who desperately doesn’t want to have a physical body and is probably afraid of cole having the same regrets as he does.

their relationship also goes both ways. cole offers him support throughout the game, understanding solas in ways that others can’t. not necessarily through any fault of theirs, but being able to key into solas’s emotions goes a long way. and then you get to trespasser, where cole is the one person to speak fondly of solas and the only one to approve if you say you have to save him from the vidasala. imo if we go by game canon solas is closest to cole, even closer than a befriended or romanced inquisitor. since this is an rp blog, that obviously varies, but as it stands no one understands solas like cole and no one understands cole like solas. a cole who becomes more human is likely to become alien to him in some respects, but from canon banter it’s clear that solas is willing to try. this was a very long winded way of saying solas loves cole.

beyond cole, it’s hard to argue solas forms emotionally intimate relationships with others in the inquisition. that being said i also don’t think they have to be emotionally intimate to be meaningful.

it’s, like, 100% canon that he hangs out with people outside of when we drag him places. blackwall has banter that implies they talk regularly, at least enough for blackwall to conclude that solas “knows all there is to know about everything” and even ignoring that they canonically play diamondback together. in banter they swap their experiences at war, although given they’re both hiding something they’re both being vague about it. still, solas clearly comes to regard him highly enough that he’s mad about the revelations of blackwall’s personal quest. a combination of solas having more in common with him than he hoped, and that for all solas has done wrong “killing civilians for fun and profit” wasn’t one of them. and solas seems to have come to respect him enough to apologise, backing out of his initial reaction to accept that thom had taken a step to becoming someone better.

josephine also references speaking to him, despite them never speaking on-screen which was a crime. she says “he has the most fascinating stories” and in ambient dialogue with her agents references occurrences where they seem to speak to nobility together. again, i wouldn’t say they had a deep bond, but i think they developed a rapport.

as for people i do think solas was genuinely friends with, there’s cassandra, varric, and iron bull. unlike the former two there isn’t really a reference to them hanging out outside of banter, but given their relationship i at least like to imagine they spend some time together.

varric and solas clearly spend time together before you meet them in-game, for one. long enough that varric thought of a nickname, though whether “chuckles” was decided on right there or earlier it’s hard to say. the two have actually a pretty funny rapport going, varric being one of the people to bring out solas’s sense of humour without much difficulty. and when they’re not joking around, they have interesting conversations. i’ve actually been wanting to rewrite the balcony scene with thora, my dwarf inquisitor, and solas to incorporate the fact that varric– who makes his living writing– doesn’t match his narrow view of what dwarves should be. it’s just one way the game steers solas in such a way that he isn’t allowed to grow unless the inquisitor gives him permission to, similar to how his view of the qun will flip-flop depending on if he’s talking to iron bull or a friendly qunari inquisitor, but i digress.

with varric, cassandra, and bull alike he demonstrates that he’s more capable of changing his mind than people give him credit for, i think. he admits he might have been mistaken in his interpretation of the dream of a man living his days alone on an island.

cassandra and solas’ relationship started out very hostile from the sound of it, but the hostility is worked out before the inquisitor wakes up, so much attention isn’t drawn to it. solas says he gave up his staff, and while i don’t think he was ever technically a prisoner, i also don’t think he would’ve been allowed to up and leave after that point. he references that she threatened his life if he didn’t get results, and yet in banter he’s complimentary towards her, most notably her ability to surrender the chance for power when she feels she is unfit for the role and that she’s capable of changing her mind. idk, i think their relationship demonstrates the best of both characters– cassandra’s ability to be less hard-line than she is around the likes of varric’s, solas’s ability to respect people with differences of opinions to him, both of their abilities to change their minds about the other.

heck, there’s even the option for some emotional intimacy. cassandra offers her condolences about wisdom, solas comforts her when her faith is shaken, providing hope when she realises her power did not come from the maker as she was taught. he’s also at his misotheist finest in this conversation:

Solas: You seem troubled, Seeker. Still plagued by thoughts of your order?Cassandra: I… am reminded of what I was told following my vigil. They said my abilities were a gift from the Maker, a reward for my faith and dedication. But it was a trick, wasn’t it? A ritual no different that the Harrowing, simply magic…Solas: Do you know how rare spirits of faith are? How difficult it is to draw them to this world? You should be proud, having accomplished something so remarkable, not ashamed it was not what you thought.Cassandra: Thank you, Solas. That… does make me feel better.Solas: Your faith does you credit, Cassandra. I hope your Maker is worthy.

he’s well-aware that cassandra is resolute and uncorrupt, capable of fixing what went wrong with the seekers (even if he is cynical about the inevitable degradation of any organisation). i really don’t know how you read their dialogue and think solas didn’t deeply connect with her in ways that shaped him regardless of his relationship with the inquisitor.

now iron bull is someone whose relationship with solas varies wildly depending on the inquisitor’s choices, and another character whose choice is undercut by the realities of a choice-based narrative. if the chargers are sacrificed they’re under no circumstances friendly, ableit solas seems to pity him in that case. otherwise, solas engages with bull in a way other characters don’t. but to be fair to them, i think solas understands better than any other party member what it’s like to lose your culture and home to help the people you love. through their conversations before his pq– which often got very heated, possibly the angriest solas gets in banter– solas listened and learned and kind of sussed out what bull’s fears were, what was keeping him in the qun. and like, i also think solas has a lot of experience knowing what ppl who are trying to pry themselves out of a toxic religion are also dealing with? what i’m getting at is iron bull imo reminds solas of the elves who fought the evanuris, people who had doubts about the societies they were raised in and broke from it, but still carried the damage it did to them. and he takes steps to reassure bull that “madness” isn’t something he ought to fear, b/c he isn’t a mindless beast but an incredibly intelligent person, capable of playing chess without a board. something that takes considerable practise and was for centuries considered a miracle in our world. there are issues with how solas approaches it, his understanding of the qun is flawed and imperfect, but he literally offers himself as a means of support when bull expresses fear that he’ll “go savage”:

Solas: You have the Inquisition, you have the Inquisitor… and you have me.

and after that i have a hard time imagining that they would never hang out more casually. solas would never be as close to bull as the chargers by any means, and you may not even consider them friends, but again their banter really reflects a significant relationship that would effect him without the inquisitor’s input. assuming they save the chargers, anyway. personally, i consider them friends

i just hit 2000 words and i’m starting to see why i let this sit in my drafts for like a year, so i’ll try to wrap it up. there are other characters i think have an effect on solas despite their relationship having its ups and downs. sera, namely, someone he seems to respect and resent simultaneously, grudgingly admitting he envies her at one point. their relationship is one of the most frustrating in the game but also my favourite due to how similar they are when you get down to it, sera i think on some level reminds him of when he was young, hence why he tries to give her advice. in another world, given time, i think they could’ve been friends, albeit friends who sometimes drive one another up the wall. much of what they say in-game reflects itself– solas talking about organisations degrading, in time, sera saying if you chop off the head of a government another will show up and muck up all the work you did to overthrow the first. they’re both artists, elves who feel disconnected from others of their kind. we don’t get enough of their positive interactions for me to claim they’re friends in-game w/ a straight face. rp wise, however, it’s been one of my favourite things to write, as they navigate a strange not-hostile relationship. also i just adore sera as a character, i wish there wasn’t such a divide between solas and sera fans b/c they both parallel and contrast w/ one another really well.

for one final note i do want to talk about specifically my solas interpretation, the relationships i either hc he’s built or he’s built through roleplay. my solas had a part to play in the rebuilding of skyhold alongside freed circle mages, teaching them practical magic they were denied learning in the circle and becoming something of a role model (god help them) for the more radical mages. solas served with the inquisition for a year in canon, three years in my canon. once he works past the haze of how wrong the veiled world feels i can’t believe solas, who constantly tells the histories of people– real people– whose stories he felt were important enough to remember and retell, even seemingly insignificant ones about baking bread or seeing sunlight for the first time, would connect with precisely none of the people around him on a personal level. not when we see his ability to do just that in-game, even with people without a mark on their hand.

tl;dr give solas friends. remember your inquisitor is not the be-all and end-all of his life and that he’s had 1000s of years to forge relationships with people who have just as much as an impact on him, and his time with the inquisition is no different. i don’t doubt all of us have hcs about how the companions have changed our inquisitor’s life, for better or worse, so i can’t see why it’d be any different for the companions. solas included

[unwanted-animal]

I’m just gonna vent here for a sec, about relationship stuff and youtube drama of all things

so trans YT drama might legit end my marriage????

I don’t want it to. I love my spouse with all my heart but I’m at the end of my patience.

So, Contrapoints. She’s a famous trans youtuber who we watched before she came out, and while she explored her gender as she gradually came to recognize herself as a trans woman. She’s got great production value, she does a lot of videos on the alt right, and she does a lot of socratic discussions that she doesn’t flat out LABEL as socratic discussions sometimes.

She’s also got a long history of stepping in it when it comes to nb folks and trans folks who don’t pass.

It’s been rubbing me wrong, because every time the community at large is like “Contra, this is kinda shitty, please just think about what you’re broadcasting to your 250,000+ followers”, she disappears for a while and comes back and jokes about being canceled and continues on.

Well, this time she said that people asking pronouns when she feels like she’s the only trans woman there is invalidating. And that’s super fine. Her airing that is fine. I understand how it can feel invalidating, especially when you hold up how well you pass as the main easer of your dysphoria. But she phrased it in a way that seemed kinda crapp to nb folks. So folks gently called her in, myself included, and she doubled down. 

And of course, as with any drama, there were assholes and monsters tryna doxx her and actually doxxing her and sending nasty messages to people and her, threats and the usual shitbag bullshit nasty people pull.

She deleted twitter for a while, but then she came back, to promote her new video.

Where she had Buck Angel of all fucking people in it. 

Buck, who was suggested by Teryn, a friend of hers and former LOUD transphobic trans person. Buck is a transphobic trans man who not only has run pyramid schemes targeting trans men, but he’s also outed lana wachowsky without her permission to the rolling stone because his wife left him for her, he’s also continually misgendered trans men he decides don’t pass, he says queer trans people aren’t really queer, he APOLOGIZES TO TERFS FOR TRANS PEOPLE EXISTING. He’s a shitbag and we’ve KNOWN he’s a shitbag for well over 15 years. 

And with her truscummy tendencies, folks were like. Okay. Hold the fucking phone Nat. 

Well she did a patreon q&a this past week where she said she knew buck because he looks “strikingly cis” and that’s why she’s a fan of him. She boiled down his years of scams and transphobia to “some bad tweets”, she through Harris under the bus for saying he was actually fucked up over being put in a video with a dickhead like Buck without his knowledge, and she made light of him doing good work with the mermaids charity earlier this year.

ANyway, Cis Yter lindsay ellis, one of nat’s bffs, posted this four image “”acknowledgement”” of natalie’s shit and said this: 

“Why would one repeatedly fall on the sword apologizing to a community that jumps at every possibility to apply the worst possible interpretation of any perceived transgression?”

The trans community’s criticism of natalie isn’t based on “perceived transgressions”. It’s not bad faith interpretation. We fucking REACHED OUT TO TRY AND BE LIKE NATALIE, YOU’VE ONLY BEEN TRANSITIONING FOR TWO YEARS, PLEASE STOP TALKING OVER OTHER TRANS PEOPLE, PLEASE STOP CENTERING YOUR EXPERIENCES, PLEASE STOP SAYING NB PEOPLE ARE MAKING IT DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO LIVE AS A WOMAN, THIS IS KINDA BAD.

AND THAT IS THE BIG CRIME HERE.

Anyway George said I’m just “following a mob” because I dont’ want to support her fucking work anymore. He’s like gone full white knight for her, and I get it, being a NB person with a LOT of internalized bullshit, you don’t seem to care that a large amount of people have been hurt over and over and over by her words and deeds. And not just NB folks. Non-passing trans folks. Older trans women she claims are all truscum. Older trans men she passes over because they dont’ look “strikingly cis”. 

One night he claimed his depression was so bad because folks were just kinda done with Nat’s shit that he wasn’t excited and food had no taste. That shit isn’t HEALTHY.

I made one post last night about Lindsay’s shitty apology and he responded TODAY, at like 4:30 in the morning, with “where’s the lie?” about the excerpt I posted.

He keeps saying i’m a hypocrite but I’m not whipping up people against her, I’m not dehumanizing her, and I only retweet stuff other binary trans women say in regards to her damn Patreon bullshit. I decided for myself I was no longer comfortable watching her shit, and I think that should be fair??? I don’t know why he’s going so fucking hard in on this, other than I know he’s attracted to her, but like. Buddy so am I, doesn’t mean I think she doesn’t need to take some fucking time back and stop being a reactionary. 

Anyway it’s this thing seething inside him and I... I dunno. He fucking got on my business about it in KROGER the other night, fuckign KROGER, and no matter how many times I told him to drop it he just fucking wouldn’t! 

I’m at my wit’s end. I don’t know what to fucking do. 

Might just end up blocking him on twitter if he doesn’t stop. won’t stop the real-life issues surrounding this (K R O G E R), but it’ll make him get off my fuckin back. 

[kyndaris]

Finding Common Ground

September 11, 2001 served as a catalyst for what we now call the War on Terror. While terrorism was not something new, the attack on the Twin Towers in New York made it abundantly clear how vulnerable we truly were. It also highlighted how complacent Western society had become. The years that followed were troubling times, exacerbated by further bombings: from the ones in Bali on October 12, 2002 and the one on July 7th 2005 in London and now to the more recent one in Sri Lanka. What differentiated September 11, though, to many other acts of terrorism in say, Northern Ireland, was that this was fronted by individuals that could be clearly delineated from the white man. More specifically, these individuals were primarily from the Middle East and were of the Muslim faith.

When before it was the Asian Invasion, the immigration narrative turned towards Muslims. Suspicion was rife during those early days as society began to focus on safety and security. This was particularly evident in airports. From additional screenings to restrictions on what could now be taken aboard flights.

Surveillance was something that was now considered an acceptable means of combating the threat of another attack. CCTV cameras became much more prevalent in public areas. Initiatives to report unattended baggage began to saturate public transport. Even now, governments have been trying to introduce new systems such as facial recognition to aid intelligence organisations in identifying potential plots before they can harm the population.

After reading about what happened about what happened in Christchurch, I initially wanted to talk about right-wing extremists and how much of society has turned a blind eye to their rhetoric. Even someone from an ethnic background that is not part of the predominant Caucasion population such as myself, was able to allow many of the comments to roll off my back. I might be annoyed that they would ask me where I was really from but after years of consuming television shows and films, I felt thoroughly ingrained into that culture - with a few caveats that came with being of my East Asian heritage.

That all changed with the Easter bombings and the articles I then read about the event. After also watching a video from the Emmy-award winning Sam Riegel and wife Quyen Tran about how they survived the attack on the World Trade Centre, what I managed to glean was the sheer horror and panic that encompassed these events and how they can impact people all these years afterwards. Whether that might be from losing a loved one or counting their lucky stars that they managed to survive.

Most important of all, though, I was impressed by the resilience so many have shown. The very thought of being covered in blood and dirt, not even knowing if its your own or the person that had been standing just beside you chills me to the core. And for people that have gone through such a harrowing experience but still keep on living and pushing on and refusing to back down is something admirable.

So often we focus on the brutality of the attack and those that had planned it. For many years, the mass media turned their lens towards the perpetrators of every single major crime rather than focusing on the victims and elements of heroism that were displayed in such a crisis. Consider the Australian nurse that struggled to save others even when she put her own life in danger during the events of the London Bridge and Borough Markets attack.Or the first respondents that bravely went into the collapsing Towers to save the lives of everyday office workers.

Another article I stumbled upon from a Year 11 student also provided a unique perspective on how we view terrorism in our current day and age. The way religion has been wielded in the most recent terror attacks have also stifled the voices of many. For many people, it is not a clear cut battle between them and us. To lose ourselves in such a debate would invalidate everything that encompasses a person’s identity.

I may not like the policies set in place by the One Nation Party but it doesn’t mean I should personally attack the likes of Pauline Hanson. Perhaps there is a valid reason, at least for her, for why she might believe what she does. Her values are her own as mine are. We come from different backgrounds, have witnessed different things. She might make callous remarks and verbally attack people that share my ethnicity, but fighting hate with more hate only serves to make the world blind.

There are times where it might feel futile to simply stand back and watch as good people are murdered without retaliating in kind. I can understand that seething burning itch to do something. Who hasn’t, in one small way or another? But, I hope one day, each and everyone one of us will be able to see past the blinkers of prejudice we’ve been wearing.

That is also not to say that we become ignorant or pretend that everyone will be law-abiding citizens. A degree in criminology pinpoints the first steps of radicalisation comes from ostracised groups. Individuals who live on the fringes of society that may be different or are horribly bullied. In order to combat this, we, as a society, need to be empathetic. We need to embrace the other in ways we have not done before. In a children’s program, in which, I saw a snippet of on Facebook: rather than being scared of the dark and acting like a terrified creature with our back to the wall, the solution could just be switching on the light. We can, and should, educate ourselves on different cultures and figure out ways to live in harmony with each other. And all of that starts with turning towards one neighbours and reaching out a helping hand.

[anunvalidcritic]

TITANS: Season 1 Full Review

                                                   Highlights

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

Well, I just wanna start off by saying HOLD THE FUCK UP!!! I Just realized that the “Dick Grayson” episode was the last one for the season!! What type of fooler is?!?! You know before the show was officially put out there I thought it would possibly go up to 20 episodes but I see now that this is not the case. Since I decided to do this full review of the season I guess I should mark some key points in the season. I honestly don’t know how I’m gonna go about it but I’ll just go with the flow. (Hopefully, I won’t get off topic.)

I’ll edit this whenever I feel as though I am truly inspired by something or someone. 

                                                SEASON ONE

Here I go again, my dudes.

I have to say hands down the way the season ended was in the best way it could have ended. 

Instead of just diving straight into the true terror that follows Trigon down every path that he takes having the episode in an alternative state in the mind of ROBIN was a very good idea. It left a cliffhanger that has the viewers easily waiting to see what will happen in season 2 of the series.

Let me start off by saying that throughout this whole season I have stated my dislike for RAVEN’s hair but in the episode “Dick Grayson” everything change... COMPLETELY

COLLEGE HAIR RAVEN IS THE RAVEN THAT NEEDS TO STAY!!! PERIOD!!

I MEAN THAT HAIR IS WAAAAAYYYYYY BETTER THAN THE HAIR SHE HAS NOW.

STUNNING!

This gif showcases my exact emotions towards the situation. But now that I’ve gotten that out of the way lets move on.

ROBIN & STARFIRE relationship

Now for me, I always wondered how they were going to showcase the iconic relationship between STARFIRE and ROBIN. I think for the most part that it is going pretty well. Its only been one season so they will [hopefully] have more seasons to grow their relationship along with other characters in the series.

I know for a fact that the “Together“ episode had me feelin’ some type of way LOL. I felt like I was watchin’ somethin’ I wasn't supposed to be looking at. 

This also goes for the episodes “Hawk & Dove” and “Hank & Dawn”.

One of the most fucked up episodes of this season was the “Hank & Dawn” hands down. Idc what anybody says about the last episode being the most fucked up because “Dick Grayson” ain’t got shit on “Hank & Dawn”.

I actually didn’t know that much info on the characters Hawk and Dove. All I really knew was that they were a crime-fighting duo and HAWK was always the hard-headed one while DOVE was the one who wanted to think things through before charging into a battle. 

Don’t even get me started on that Phantom of the Opera lookin’ son of a bitch. Like this dude really thought he was in the right trying to come after the people ROBIN cared about like that. Talk about pullin’ a dick move my dudes.

I truly, honestly, really can’t stand this dude. 

Ohh and lest we forget that iconic scene where JASON TODD had the audacity to say, “Lights out bitch!” to the police officer that he soon after body slammed ROFL

Y’all just don’t know how that scene had me extremely fucked up. I couldn’t comprehend things for at least the next for days. 

Also let’s not forget that faithful moment RAVEN’s so called mother MElISSA got her head blown off. Smh rip my dude. She tried her best to raise a half demon.

I mean that scene was pretty fucking graphic and so realistic.

But I gotta say one of the most ICONIC scenes came from the episode 7 “Asylum” ROBIN BRUNT HIS FUCKING SUIT!! The OG of the Bat Clan laid the suit to rest to become something not like Robin but definitely not like BATMAN.

But BATMAN really lost his fuxking mind when he went on that killing spree. 

I mean Jesus fuxking Christ he really went in on ‘em. 

BATMAN said everybody gettin’ fucked up PERIODT! NOBODY SHALL ESCAPE MY RATH!! *slams table*

I can’t believe this is one of the last things I am mentioning. It’s the scene that made me so proud of BEAST BOY! (Well it’s 2 scenes actually.)

Scene 1: Episode 1 ~ BEAST BOY’s transformation. (He has transformed in other episodes but this is one is the most notable.) The very first glimpse we see of BEAST BOY is at the tail end of episode one where he is stealing a video game. A few moments later he is seen and proceeds to run away with the game and stops in the woods to transform back into his human form. 

This scene brought me so much joy because we were able to see first hand that the CGI used for it was money well spent. 

Scene 2: Episode 7 ~ BEAST BOY mauls a doctor. Well, what can I say... FUCKING LEGENDARY MY DUDES!!! THE WAY HE DID THAT REALLY HAD ME SHOOK. I THINK THAT’S THE MOST EXCITED I’VE BEEN TO SEE FAKE BLOOD. (I should probably chill out with all these cap locks though.)

For this last note on this topic, I hope that BEAST BOY will be able to discover that he change into any animal if he can truly find it within himself. :)

For those of who don’t understand why I capitalize every letter in a characters name here is the reason:  I do it so that the name can stand out before you read the whole sentence/statement. (If you’re thinking to yourself ‘Well duh that’s pretty obvious.’ You’d be surprised at how many people have asked me that. Whether they follow me or not...) Anyways this has been great and I can’t wait until season 2 because I feel as though Titans can go even further than this. 

[queen-scribbles]

Worth a Shot

For @pillarspromptsweekly #39. Another Roll for It, I got Woedica/Leaden Key/dank spores for my elements, so it was clearly meant to be another installment of the Taviloth Leaden Key Hunt AU, yes? 

The hope of there being anything left by the time she made it back was minuscule, but Tavi still felt a rush of disappointment when the ruined temple was empty of all traces kith had been there. Even knowing it was long odds at best, part of her had hoped the Leaden Key had been sloppy in their haste to abandon the temple. Left something behind to serve as a clue. It had taken several very careful months to find the man they’d chased in here and if there was no lead to be found after him, she was going to swear. This was a big temple, surely they hadn’t gotten everything.

Except they had. At least in the rooms she found. The lack of dust was the only sign kith had been here in years. Tavi kicked the wall in frustration.

Fucking godsdamned Leaden Key, she groused. They’d even reset the traps on their way out. Maybe  that was why the hair on the back of her neck kept prickling; not knowing where danger might lurk. Just because all the ones she’d seen had to be manually triggered didn’t mean that was the case for all of them.

But then the nerves grew stronger as she stepped out of the room she’d been searching. Tavi rested her hand on the hilt of one sabre. There was no one in sight. Maybe she was just being paranoid.

The soft brush of footsteps against stone behind her confirmed her suspicions. My gut’s never been wrong before; no reason for it to start now. She gripped the sabre’s hilt, drawing it as she turned--

Aloth caught her wrist before she had the weapon more than halfway unsheathed. “You’re awfully jumpy for someone who assured me she could handle this on her own.”

Tavi wrinkled her nose at the amusement in his voice. “And you’re awfully upright for someone who assured me he’d rest.” She resheathed the sabre. “And bein’ jumpy is part of why I can handle this on my fuckin’ own.”

Aloth cocked his head in acknowledgement of both her points. “I got bored. And you know I have the utmost faith in your instincts. Have you found anything yet?”

She shook her head. “Not a thing. I was gonna check the other levels, see if they missed anything. I’m assumin’ you bein’ here means your research went about as well?”

He nodded, falling in step behind her with only a slight grimace. “You would be correct. There’s no record to be found of this temple, not even its construction. It’s as if it doesn’t exist.”

“Well, then I guess we know which god it’s for,” Tavi said sardonically, opting to  check the upstairs first. “Need me to carry you up, city slicker?”

Aloth rolled his eyes. “I’m not an invalid, Tavi, just healing.”

“Which is why I was supposed to be doing this while you stayed in bed.” She noticed him biting his lip as they mounted the stairs and silently linked her arm with his for support. “So you didn’t rip out the fuckin’ stitches.”

“If I wasn’t here, I’d just be pacing the room waiting for you. This seemed more productive.”

“I do have to admit to bein’ impressed you made it through the jungle by yourself,” Tavi commented idly as she opened the first door with a fair amount of caution.

“I’m very stubborn,” Aloth returned. “When I want to be.” 

Tavi shot him a bemused look. “Shit, I know that, city slicker,” she chuckled, scanning the room. Empty. No furniture or anything. Except... “Stay here, I think I see something...”

Aloth squeezed her hand before letting go. “Be careful.”

Tavi nodded and grunted acknowledgement as she moved across the room toward a spot where one tile sat slightly deeper in the wall that those around it. Fully aware it could be nothing--or a trap--she gingerly felt around the edges of the tile until one corner wiggled. She pried it loose and peered into the small space it had concealed. Inside lay a small piece of damp paper and a tarnished medallion on a leather cord. The paper was near-illegible and written in some language she didn’t recognize, and the necklace was etched with a spiraling design. Tavi collected them both and returned to Aloth.

He took the paper carefully and stared at it a moment, then shook his head. “I’ll need better light to be able to read this.”

“This seems like junk, too,” Tavi said,shaking the necklace. “So that was a waste.”

“I never said this was useless,” Aloth corrected, gingerly holding the paper. “I’m fairly certain this script is Engwithan, but I can’t read it well enough in this poor light.”

“Ah. Well, let’s check the rest of the place and get back to our room so you can have your better light.” She tucked the necklace in a belt pouch and proceeded down the hall with caution.

The few other rooms on this level were all clear, except for one where a wall had collapsed and filled the room with rubble. All were empty of anything that might have been useful. The Leaden Key here had done a better job covering their tracks than the ones in Defiance Bay, though Aloth did find faint bloodstains in the hall.

“I’m fairly certain these are faint from scrubbing rather than age,” he said as he pointed them out to Tavi, one hand absently pressed against his side.

“Not going to ask how you know the difference,” she chuckled, crouching down and tracing the edges with of the stains with her fingertip. “Think someone pissed off the cell leadership or...?”

“If it was an execution, they likely would have been killed somewhere more private,” he said, hand still rubbing his injured side. “But a crime of passion doesn’t fit the Leaden Key, either...”

“You alright, city slicker?” she interjected to his train of thought. “This is why you were supposed to fuckin’ rest.”

“It’s just sore,” Aloth muttered, pulling his hand away. “I’m fine.”

“You’re also a terrible liar,” Tavi said fondly. “But I’ll let it slide ‘cause I like your company. And I’d rather be able to keep an eye on you than worry you got bored and did somethin’ stupid.” She raked hair back from her face. “But gettin’ back to what you were sayin’...”

“Oh, all I can surmise is this was someone who failed badly enough to be disposed of without delay, and the Leaden Key then cleaned up as part of their efforts to obscure their presence here.”

“That sounds like guessing, Corfiser,” she teased as she straightened.

“It is,” he admitted frankly. “I don’t know everything, Tavi.”

“Just damn close to it,” Tavi laughed, which turned to concern when he bit his lip and rested one hand against the wall briefly for support. “You sure you’re okay? It looks like they cleared out pretty thoroughly; I doubt we’re gonna find anything. We can go back to the inn-”

Aloth shook his head. “I’ll be fine. There’s still another level to check.”

“Which I can do by myself,” she countered. He did look like he was fine--not pale or swaying or anything--but she knew how bad ‘soldiering on’ with an injury like his could hurt. “I am more stubborn than you, city slicker, I will win.”

He sighed and shot her a mischievous look. “Only because I know you’ll just carry me out if you get too worried.”

“Damn straight I will,” Tavi nodded. “But I’ll hold off for now. Let’s check the lower level and then even if I do have to carry you, we’re going back to the inn so you can rest.”

“I agree to your terms,” Aloth said, smiling slightly.

“Good, I won’t have to persuade you,” Tavi winked, and headed back for the stairs.

-o-

They were halfway down the ramp that led to the lowest level before the reek of damp grew overwhelming.

Tavi spun around to face Aloth. “You’re waiting upstairs.”

“Tavi-”

“Aloth, you have not one but two--albeit bandaged wounds, the last place you need to be is somewhere that smells like a fuckin’ swamp.” She took his hands in hers, thumb rubbing over the bandages covering one of said wounds. “Me wading through brackish water or muck will be bad enough. I probably won’t be long; if it’s nasty down there, I doubt they used it much.”

He didn’t look particularly convinced, but acquiesced all the same. “...Fine. Just be careful.”

“Will do.” She’d keep that promise, largely because the last thing she needed was him getting worried and following her. Everything in the lowest level was coated generously in slimy green muck, and an inch or two of stagnant water covered the ground. Tavi wrinkled her nose at conditions and smell both as she lit a torch and started poking around. It was just a cursory look; she wasn’t expecting to find anything useful down here with the awful state of things. That was probably why she all but walked into the dank spore growing in the corner.

Oh, shit. She yelped and out of pure instinct shoved the torch dead center into the plant’s head. It turned out to be a very lucky move; the spore was smaller than most, and sickly malnourished, so it collapsed on itself with nothing more than an angry screech. The awful reek of burning plant slime joined the other wonderful odors filling the space, and Tavi coughed as she debated whether to retrieve the torch or deal without it. There’s enough light I could probably manage...

“Tavi?!” Aloth’s voice floated down, very worried, and she winced at the realization of just how loud she’d yelped.

“I’m fine, city slicker!” she called back. “Just startled myself, s’all. I’ll be up in a minute, you stay put.” She didn’t wait for his reply to filter down before resuming her examination of the chamber. It wasn’t big; long-fallen debris filled the only doorway out. Her search turned up massive quantities of sludge, five different varieties of fungus--and one dead body.

The man was still recognizable as the one she and Aloth had been pursuing the day before. A jagged wound split his throat,  and any hint to his identity or allegiance was gone, but this was definitely their quarry.

“Someone got in trouble,” she whispered, singsong, thinking of the bloodstains upstairs. Probably on account of them, which she couldn’t muster any remorse for.

A faint whisper of the man’s essence lingered still, to Tavi’s surprise, and she reached for it.

Triumph turned to dismay at the Acolyte’s stern posture.

Failed. We have to leave the temple, but you can remain. You will remain. The warm spill of blood seeping into darkness.

Ewan...

The name burned into Tavi’s mind, free of context, as she jolted out of the man’s last moments. Well that was helpful, she thought sarcastically.  Time to go back to Aloth, admit defeat, and head for the inn so she could make him get some fucking rest. They could debate if any of the--pitifully few--things they’d found were important, if ‘Ewan’ was worth looking for, and anything else that came to mind then.

Aloth was not waiting at the top of ihe ramp when she made it back out. He’d wandered a short way down one of the halls, and was staring thoughtfully at a mural of Woedica’s crown daubed onto the wall. He glanced over at the echo of Tavi’s footsteps. “May I see that medallion you found?”

“Sure.” She fished it out as she joined him and handed it over. “You find somethin’?”

“Possibly.” He slid the pendant off the cord. “There’s an indentation here...” A nod at the mural, “that’s the same size and shape. I’m wondering...”

Tavi watched with interest and no small amount of pride as the medallion fit perfectly in the spot he’d indicated. “Good call.”

“Thank you,” Aloth replied with a smile. “Now to see what it does, if anything.”

“It would have to, wouldn’t it? Otherwise, what’s the fuckin’ point?” she said, running her fingers through her hair.

“Mm.” He pressed the medallion and it sank further into the wall with a clunk. Behind them, a section of the wall slid away, revealing a shrine overseen by a statue of Woedica and flanked by a pair of braziers.

“Well, that’s something,” Aloth murmured, absently flexing his injured wrist as the two of them approached the shrine.

“These are still warm,” Tavi said. She held her hand over one brazier and let out a triumphant whoop. “They were burnin’ paper!”

“Don’t get excited until we know if any of it is legible,” Aloth cautioned, but he was grinning, too.

Most of it wasn’t, but they salvaged what they could. It was some level of hope, anyway, that they weren’t at a complete dead end. That alone cheered Tavi immensely.

“Alright, we’re done here,” she said, plucking the medallion from the wall after they were both clear of the shrine. The wall ground closed seamlessly. “Now for the sitting around to put puzzle pieces together stage.”

“My favorite,” he replied glibly.

“Right now it’s mine, too,” she retorted as they made their way out of Woedica’s temple. “B’cause it’ll mean you actually sittin’ still like you’re supposed to.”

Aloth laughed, but at least had the decency to blush, his ears twitching downward briefly. “For as long as you want me to,” he promised.”

“I’m holdin’ you to that,” Tavi warned, reaching for his hand as they made their way down the exterior steps. “I want you around for a good long while, Corfiser.”

“And I have no intention of going anywhere,” he replied, grip tightening when he faltered on the last step, tripping over a broken paving stone.

Tavi smiled and tugging his arm around her shoulders, hinting, “To that end...”

Aloth may have rolled his eyes a little, but he did let her help him. At least through the jungle. They’d drawn enough attention to themselves yesterday.

-o-

Their salvage proved a tricky puzzle to piece together, and both were streaked with soot and ash up to the elbows before they were able to make any sense of it. Said sense being that most of the fragments they’d rescued were written in Engwithan, rendering Tavi largely useless. The few things that weren’t were just lists of names, with no indication if they were members, targets, or something else entirely. Further complicating matters, when Aloth got the other scraps translated, they proved to be gibberish. It was clearly a cipher, but without the key word or phrase, that knowledge was about as useful as spoiled provisions.

“Fuckin’ bazzos,” Tavi spat darkly, slouching in her chair, smudging soot up her forehead when she raked her bangs out of her face. “Fuck the Leaden Key, fuck them and their secrecy to Hel and back, this is sciòderie.“ She glanced sidelong at Aloth and her ears dipped as she clarified, “Former members excepted, of course.”

“What a relief,” he deadpanned with amusement rife in his voice. She briefly considered throwing something at him, but there was nothing in reach, so she settled for a dirty look, which made him laugh. “This is still better than nothing, Tavi.”

“Is it, though?” she shot back, rubbing at the soot smudges on her forehead. “It’s still essentially fuckin’ nothing, but gets us so damn close before bein’ fuckin’ nothing which is infuriating.”

“If we ever find one of their cipher keys, we can at least try it and may have something.”

She snorted, wiping her hand on her pants. “Yeah, like they’re gonna leave that lyin’ around. Prob’ly be more likely to brick it up inside a wall- What?”

Aloth held up one hand in a ‘Wait’ gesture and pushed up from the table fast as he dared. He crossed to the dresser and retrieved the scrap of paper she’d found with the medallion. “Bricked in a wall, like this was?”

Tavi blinked, then grinned. “Corfiser, you’re a fuckin’ genius.”

He smiled but shook his head slightly. “Perhaps save the praise for when we know if I’m correct.”

“Fine. It’s worth a shot.” Her grin widened when it did indeed prove to be the proper cipher phrase once translated. “Told ya. Fuckin’ genius.Let’s get this worked out.”

“Let’s,” Aloth agreed, and the two of them stayed up far into the night, slowly decoding the scraps of Leaden Key records in hopes of finding something useful.

It might be long odds, but like everything else on this quest of theirs, it was worth a shot.

------------------------------------------

Y’know what I love writing? Stuff where both halves of my otp get to show off their strengths. :3