#the crack returns

[anonymous-harpy]

Kami damnit Thing 1 and Thing 2 are gonna meet my favorite Biomechanoid

[bisexualvader]

[autumnillustration]

"Perhaps a lesser-known gift of Kenobi's was his ability to listen."

(AU where post-banishment Ahsoka gets zapped back to TPM, strapped with a fundamental distrust of the Jedi, an apocalyptic vision of the future, and a mandate to help Anakin Skywalker. So, in all this, it's nice to have a confidant.)

edit: link to the fic

[pyjamacryptid]

So. I drew that “Arthur’s fished out of the lake” au of mine

edit: yes I know that boats like that likely wouldn’t fish on a lake, and that where avalon should be isn’t really a lake anymore - I promise I know this 😂 - the imagery of Arthur being fished out of a lake in a net was just too hilariously powerful 😂

[kaiju-krew]

...........yeah

[besotted-with-austen]

The Witch King: no man can defeat me! I am Despair encarnate, you fool!

Eowyn: *grimly* I have been in despair all my life!

The Witch King: *Big Gasp*

Eowyn: and I am no man!

The Witch King: *Even Bigger Gasp*

[samwwise]

The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it. What, Gandalf? See what? White shores. And beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise. Well, that isn’t so bad. No. No, it isn’t.

[crabonfire]

☆ Would merc still like you if merasmus turned you into a worm 🪱 ☆

characters: all mercs

tags: crack but not really I'm taking it kinda seriously, reader has a platonic relationship with the mercs

note: maybe someone's done this before idk I felt compelled to write something tf2 related and this is lowkey all I fucking got lmao

Also this is ridiculously long for a fic that was supposed to be crack so my bad (this was longer actually, but I cut out a bunch of yapping)

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• I feel like Scout's first reaction instead of panicking is to curse and threaten Merasmus.

"OUT OF EVERY SHITTY THING YOU COULD'VE DONE, YOU TURNED THEM INTO A FRIGGIN' WORM?!"

• He's yelling, so much to the point where Merasmus just teleports away and ignores it, finding it funny (of course he finds it funny what a dick)

• He realizes that when he was so busy yelling at Merasmus, he had lost you. He panicked, looking around the ground with a horrified frown, cursing to himself as he started to dig, looking closely. When he finally found you, he placed you on his hand with a frown, looking at how you moved against his fingertips. He wanted to cry a little, he really didn't know what to do.

• He's placing you under his hat. Usually he'd find worms or maggots gross as hell, and if he was going to be honest he still found you gross, but it was you, so...

• Then he rushes back to base, the panicked look on his face never leaving him. He alerts all the other mercs, making a huge fuss over how, you're a worm now, and they need to help him get back at merasmus to turn him back.

He's holding you in his palm, and you're just wiggling around like nothing is wrong cause you're a worm now. And the rest of the mercs look at him like he's crazy.

• Spy, Sniper, Medic, and Heavy are convinced he's lying. Demo believes him a little since he's experienced Merasmus' antics. Soldier automatically believes him fully since the worms there, but you're not, so that must be you. Engineer is just trying to keep the peace, trying to calm scout down, but it doesn't work as no one is listening to him.

• The team is skeptical, thinking that this is some elaborate prank and that, you're just out for a couple hours. But when you don't return tomorrow for the fight, or return after, that raises some suspicions on where you are.

• Ms. Pauling doesn't know where you are either. So is it true? Are you really the worm?

• A meeting is held, everyone stands around the rounded table, the light shining down on you. You're in your little wormy home, slithering and worming your way through life, forgetting your identity, eating leaves and sleeping in dirt.

The mercs watch as you're doing your worm thing.

Engineer clears his throat, making the attention go to him. He turns to Scout, and the confusion in his voice is evident as he speaks.

"Scout, you're absolutely positive that, this worm is (y/n)?"

Scout responds with an aggresive nod, the slight panic and frustration shown in his expression.

"I told you, its them! I saw it happen with my own two eyes, Merasmus found em, they got zapped and poof- they're a worm! A freakin' worm!"

• The team continues to look at you, so peaceful, so calm, being a worm. They don't know why, but, now it was much easier to believe him. The worm was just like you, chill and...cool...and awesome...and wow... amazing..

"So...what? They're just a worm now?"

Sniper said, picking up the jar you were in, looking at you curiously.

"I don't think they'll be too happy stuck like that."

Engineer spoke once again, "If they got turned into a worm, there's...probably a way to turn em' back, right?"

• That was enough to bring hope to Scout's mind. Of course! That was it, if he could find Merasmus and maybe force convince him to turn you back, everything would be okay! All his sadness had dissipated, and he was quick to start making plans.

• So they did, the team would go hunting for Merasmus, and make him turn you back. In the meantime, they'd take turns taking care of you.

• Scout liked to hang out with you, pretending like it was just like before, where you and him would sip sodas together and talk about anything and everything. He'd pour some soda in the dirt you were in, not really caring of the consequences and thinking everything was the same with you two. He really missed having someone to talk to, though.

"Man, I hope you can hear me. It'll be like, super fuckin' weird if I've been talking to you and you're not even in there.."

• Pyro wouldn't really see a difference. That sounds mean, but its really nothing personal. Though now that you were a worm, you weren't as scared as them as you usually were. They'd sit you down, with their plushies, having a nice tea party, watching carefully as you'd just slither about as a worm.

• Soldier was...confused. You, who once was a brave and selfless fighter, was now a worm. It fascinated him and scared him at the same time. He'd get awkward around you, wondering if you remembered him. He'd talk to you mostly, sometimes petting you...He'd try to.

"EVEN IF YOU'RE A WORM, YOU'RE STILL STRONG TO ME!"

"...You're still in there aren't you?"

• Demo wouldn't really know what to do with you either. He finds it kinda funny how you got turned into a worm. Unlike Scout or Soldier, he doesn't really panic, knowing you'll probably be fine, worm or not. He does miss having you to talk to, like scout. Sometimes he'd just be in the living room, and you'd be by the table in your little jar. He'd just watch curiously, but wouldn't really do anything.

• Same thing goes for Sniper. He legit doesn't really know what to do or say. But, he is a little afraid that you won't turn back into a person. Unlike Scout, he found that you weren't 100% obnoxious or annoying, someone to have chill conversations with after battle. He'd keep watch over you, letting you sit with him as he's chilling on top of his van. Sometimes he'd even bring you out with him in battles as he's camping out enemies during fights. He always makes sure you're safe, though.

• Heavy really liked you. He found you someone worth talking to, and a solid member of the team, so it was a bit jarring to see you turned into a worm. He'd keep his hopes up, though, talking to you like normal. Sometimes he'd watch you like Demo did, curious about you and your little world. It was weirdly calming, after battles he'd be worn out, and when he'd see you worming your way through leaves and dirt, it relieved him a little.

• Engie was a little off put by it, the same way soldier felt. You're just...a worm now? Huh. He doesn't really know what to say to that. Medic and him share the same thought, and that thought is, are you concious? Are you aware that you're a worm? Or are you mindless?

They can't help but think of it that way, in a practical sense. Medic would have to hide you from archimedes and the rest of his doves, who would love to eat you at any given chance.

Sometimes they'd do tests on you. Nothing painful or dramatic but, tests to see if you're still in there. They're really overthinking it.

Engie likes having you in his workshop late at night, makes him feel less alone when you're just worming. Medic keeps you at a distance, just to make sure he doesn't lose you or, have one of his doves eat you.

• Spy, is, kind of grossed out. Nobody has a close relationship with him. He did have a lot of respect for you, both on and off the battlefield. You were just a decent human being who he found a liking to, now you're...a worm. A gross, slimy worm.

He never let you into his smoking room, actually he never even let you out of your jar. He liked you, respected you, but liked you more as a person.

He feels pity, honestly, and just wants you to either be out of his way, or back to normal.

• When you do eventually turn back into a worm, they're all pretty glad. They all have questions, ranging from "Were you really in there? Like were you- aware?" And then "Was it nice being a worm?"

I'm sure you can tell who's asking which question and such.

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this what comic 7 leak does to a person

[oakbuggy]

please more possessive neteyam in your style🤰🏽🤰🏽

he just makes her sit on him! that's all! completely innocent

(this is sarcasm just fyi pls be mindful of the tags)

nsfw on ao3 😉😉😉

[toastingpencils37]

Ngl Sora's definitely the type of person who'd have a shit ton of alarms on her phone that she either just sleeps through or turns off to sleep some more

[casualavocados]

...Nothing.

Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)

[crybabycunt]

Kate: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need.

Kate: Not all this, "How did you get into my house, Kate Bishop?" business.

[syoddeye]

For Isa @alwaysshallow, based on my reply to this post lmao

You wake to the sound of your husband hurriedly packing a suitcase.

“Jason? What are you doing?” You ask, voice thick with sleep.

He sighs, avoiding your gaze to cram another dozen pairs of underwear into the bag and simultaneously light a cigarette.

Gross. Wait. Where did that come from? When did Jason start smoking?

“They are here.” He says solemnly, promptly stubbing the cigarette out on the bedpost.

Okay, wasteful, much?

“Who?” You ask, sitting up to scratch your head.

“Your new owners,” He scrubs a hand over his face, his limpid blue orbs finally meeting yours. “I’m sorry, honey. I sold you to Task Force 141.”

[sir-adamus]

having some thoughts on the "all myths and fairytales have some element of truth to them" angle RWBY operates on in regards to Faunus origins, because where they factor in to the re-emergence of humanity is incredibly vague

i had a thought though, that we know that somewhere in Vacuo, two children accidentally stumbled into the Ever After, and that was relatively recently compared to the mass of history that's gone relatively unexplored

so what if Faunus originate from some early Humans 2.0 stumbling into the Ever After (presumably at an early enough point that the Cat hadn't quite gotten to obsessing over why the Brothers left them), ascending and gaining animal features (so the Blacksmith is that God of Animals we saw in both Faunus origin tales) and returning to Remnant, and then things spiraling from there

[pyjamacryptid]

I want a silly au where Arthur’s return is just him being fished out of the lake by a fishing net, which is a surprise to both him AND the poor fisherman, who immediately lets go of the rope and dumps him back in the water. After he’s recovered from the shock, Arthur’s hauled back up again, looking like a drowned rat with a fish flopping about on his head. Merlin only finds out from a breaking news headline titled DROWNED MEDIEVAL COSPLAYER FISHED OUT OF LAKE BY HERO FISHERMAN, STILL IN CHARACTER

[ladypolitik]

A tragic update to the prior version