#the conviction arc
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no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponential, logarithmic, while I gasp for air, scream and see the light, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy, backwards, sideways, upside down, on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on a chair
being carried against the wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in the car, on a motorcycle, the the bed of a truck, on a trampoline, in a bounce house, in the pool, bent over, in the basement, against the window, have the most toe curling, back arching, leg shaking, dick throbbing, fist clenching, ear ringing, mouth drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffling, eye watering, eye rolling, hip thrusting, earthquaking, sheet gripping, knuckles cracking, jaw dropping, hair pulling, teeth jitterbug, mind blogging, soul snatching, overstimulating, vile, sloppy,moan inducing, heart wrenching, spine tingling, back breaking, atrocious,gushy, creamy, beastly, lip biting, gravity defying, nail biting, sweaty, feet kicking, mind blowing, body shivering, orgasmic, bone breaking, world ending, black hole creating, universe destroying, devious, scrumptious, amazing, delightful, delectable, unbelievable, body numbing, bark worthy, can't walk, head nodding, soul evaporating, volcano erupting, sweat rolling, voice cracking, trembling, sheets soaked, hair drenched, flabbergasting, lip locking, skin peeling, eyelash removing, eye widening, pussy popping, nail scratching, back cuts, spectacular, brain cell desolving, hair ripping, show stopping, magnificent, unique, extraordinary, slendid, phenomenal, mouth foaming, heavenly, awakening, devils tango ever bro could cause a nuclear bomb inside me and I'd still ride.
#gnawing at the bars of my enclosure#mozgus holy see#mozgus berserk#the conviction arc#conviction arc berserk#berserk#berserk manga#berserk anime#copypasta#he makes me feel things#insane is one of them
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By Air | Berserk | Kentaro Miura
#berserk#conviction arc#kentaro miura#berserk manga#berserk guts#berserk puck#the conviction arc#berserk conviction arc#the black swordsman#manga#seinen#seinen manga#dark fantasy#dark fantasy manga#horror#horror manga#action#action manga#adventure#adventure manga#mangacaps#guts#puck#manga caps#manga panels#manga spread#manga edit
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He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how
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As much as I want True Believer Jace to be real I do believe his biggest crime in the eyes of Brennan is probably being kinda complacent and cowardly. I’m very convinced the explanation for why he’s team Porter is going to be very underwhelming and mundane. However, this too is yuri. The mundanity of the very probable “I got strong-armed into it and was afraid of oblivion” is not enough to dissuade me and in fact not to be real for a minute but being given a sense of purpose and hierarchy is a big reason many people turn to religion in the first place because it soothes them of uncertainty even if the the hierarchy fucks them personally over. Jace kinda got Fantasy Pascal’s Wagered into being a believer whether he likes it or not & is that not toxic old man yaoi in its own way
Come with me. Hold my hand. This isn’t the first time I’ve romanticized the “aimless undisciplined person looking for purpose idolizes the person so single-minded in their aims it’s awe-inspiring and terrifying and enviable” dynamic and it won’t be the last
#me pre-Junior year: Jace? I hate that whiteboy#me post JY: Jace my babygirl Brennan could never make me hate you#starbreaker#jace stardiamond#porter cliffbreaker#fhjy spoilers#jaceporter#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#dimension 20#shut up Janelle#not to be cringefail but I’m a BIG toxic LeoSaya-head and that’s also a dysfunctional aimless vs. driven dynamic#or passive vs. active. scattered vs. single-minded. however you want to think of it#I do think the only thing that could make it more delicious is if they have what I call an hourglass arc. where they switch motivations#in his final moments Jace chooses devotion & drive & clarity. in Porter’s final moments he shows hesitation or doubt#considering the tension between doubt and conviction is so prominent this season like. why not
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crazy how viktor can't take a shit without people trying to claim that the shape of it is somehow him trying to brand himself with the talis family crest because being romantically obsessed with jayce is his whole personality now apparently.
#mine#league/arcane#arcane critical#sorryyyy in my hater era#actually i like the ship! more the league lore of them so i was sad they didn't follow that trajectory in s2 but still#one day i'm going to go off about how crazy it is that arcane's characterization of viktor removed basically all of his agency and autonomy#and personal convictions and etc etc#and left like 90% of his screentime as him acting either as a vessel to move jayce's (way more fleshed out) character arc forward#or as a vessel to provide a convenient villain for the ending so that they could ignore the core political themes of the premise#despite it making no sense for his character#like from how much of a presence viktor has in fan content you'd think he was the main goddamn character but he was genuinely so sidelined#compared to the ACTUAL main 4 (jinx vi cait and jayce) who he lags behind in screentime considerably#i guess if nothing else imagine how much more he'd be dominating every discussion about arcane if he was on par with them#the irresistible call of white twink sadboys to a fandom#anyway it makes me sad bc i looooved the daniil dankovsky tier obsessive freak qualities of og viktor's lore....#and not only did arcane retcon it and replace it BUT the fandom is also just focusing on him as like#obsessed with some guy and his own insecurities instead of having an actual ideology
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the x-files 30th anniversary celebration -> favorite arc: cancer arc
For the first time, I feel time like a heartbeat, the seconds pumping in my breast like a reckoning. The numinous mysteries that once seemed so distant and unreal, threatening clarity in the presence of a truth entertained not in youth, but in its passage. I feel these words as if their meaning were weight lifted from me knowing that you will read them and share my burden, as I HAVE COME TO TRUST NO OTHER. That you should know my heart, look into it, finding there the memory and experience that belong to you — that are you — is comfort to me now as I feel the tethers loose and the prospects darken for the continuance of a journey that began not so long ago — and which began again with A FAITH SHAKEN AND STRENGTHENED BY YOUR CONVICTIONS. If not for which I might never have been so strong now as I cross to face you and look at you, incomplete, hoping that you will forgive me for not making the rest of the journey with you.
#xf30th#dailytxf#the x files#txf#txf*#gifs*#a date late and with an ungodly sized post. im so sorry. but......its cancer arc#this monologue still gets me. a faith shaken and strengthened by your convictions. i—
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✨️Gold Saints✨️ if they were to be ✨️Dungeons and Dragons✨️ characters
If you were wondering what I’ve been up to in the last few days, I was making this list based on my own headcanons. Mostly, I decided for what kind of class or subclass they could be. I don’t think I will add a race or a background for them because I am not up to date with the latest released manuals 😂 and these are just the official builds. If I had to look through the homebrew material I'd still be searching. Also, I used the classes of the fifth edition ^_^
Aries Mu
He’s an artificer (or if you are more familiar with the older name, he’s a tinker). There’s even an Armorer subclass, that let him have proficiency with heavy armours and so he can go in the middle of the battlefield without too many problems while still being a smith. When I say it’s perfect, I’m not even joking. Mu is possibly the easiest one to translate as a DnD character.
Taurus Aldebaran
Look, I would love to say paladin, but since he’s more on the pure physical strength rather that paladin stuffs, I’d assume for him a class like a fighter. I wouldn’t mind for him some sort of fighter + paladin multiclass where for the bigger part is a fighter. Maybe a Champion fighter + some levels of an Oath of Devotion paladin. Those subclasses are very basic, but they do the work. I cannot put his as a barbarian because well, I don’t think it would fit him (maybe the strength part, but only that).
Gemini Saga
He’s the dungeon master.
Okay, joke aside Saga is a bit more difficult. Visually, I think he’d be a paladin. Unlike others he has a good balance between physical strength and use of cosmos (both for attack and defence purposes). The subclass is a bit tricky, in the end it could be the Oath of the Watchers, since at least at the beginning, his wish was to protect Earth and then maybe he could later become an Oathbreaker? I’m partial to the Watcher since one of the spells for this class is Banishment and if it isn’t the poorer version of Another Dimension ability, I don’t know what it is.
Cancer Deathmask
He has the necromancer vibes without being a necromancer. In short, Oathbraker paladin: he can cast the ✨edgy✨ spells with ghosts and undead and it kind of makes sense that during the fight against Shiryu his cloth yeets off because of how bad he fucked up.
Leo Aiolia
Undecided between a normal fighter or a paladin. If he had an animal like Leo Kaiser in ND had those huge lions, he would be the ultimate ranger (subclass: Beast Master). But he doesn’t so… paladin. Maybe the subclass could be Oath of the Ancients, but I’m not sure.
Virgo Shaka
I’ve been thinking of where to put Shaka for almost two hours. My mind says monk, but my heart says wizard, but he must be a paladin somehow. Monk could be the perfect class for Shaka: you can easily see ki (the magical energy that empowers a monk attacks) as cosmos and the training/asceticism part would make sense for him. My only problem is that personally, I don’t see Shaka as someone that would resort to fighting bare hands against enemies (which is the core concept of the monk class). And mostly important, the monk class don’t have armour proficiency, which is the point of being a Gold Saint (neither does the wizard). As a wizard, I’d put him in the War Caster subclass, but being a wizard would make him a sort of cannon glass (wizard have the highest damage output, but at the same time the lowest number of hit points, aka life). Unless it is the Shaka from KotZ, then I could forgive a monk/wizard multiclass. As a paladin, I’m not even sure if he should be an Oath of Devotion. So, I will use the ace up my sleeve and say: Shaka is a cleric either with the Light Domain or the Order Domain, but I’m partial to the first one.
Libra Dohko
MONK. ASCENDANT DRAGON SUBCLASS. And if you feel silly enough, either a few levels of Paladin – Oath of Devotion or some levels as a Fighter - Battle Master .
Scorpio Milo
I am afraid that I have no clue of what Milo could be. My personal idea would be to make some sort of rogue, so I could imagine his scarlet needle to be a kind of sneak attack with a poisonous dagger. The subclass in this case would be either an Assassin or a Swashbuckler, to have the best implement of damage output. Maybe also a multiclass with a fighter (Champion subclass)?
Sagittarius Aiolos
He could be a paladin (Oath of the Crown?) with a feat like Crossbow Expert or a fighter with the Arcane Archer subclass. But because of his role as the Sagittarius Saint, I’m for the second option. Truth to be told, I wouldn’t mind a multiclass between those two.
Capricorn Shura
Another character that could be a paladin or a fighter BUT I say fighter AND the subclass must be Samurai, which is one of the best for striking powerful attack with a sword. No paladin class could do such things.
Aquarius Camus
Camus, like Aphrodite, has that kind of power that can be based on some sort of natural element, that would make me go “HE’S a DRUID!!!” if I didn’t know better. My main problem with druids is that they cannot wear or wield anything made of metal, therefore there would be no possibility for him to achieve a gold-saint-like kind of armour. As a paladin, Oath of the Ancients has a few spells that are ice-based, and I would implement that by giving him some levels in the sorcerer class (the subclass isn’t important for choosing those spells, but I’d like for him the Storm Sorcery subclass).
Pisces Aphrodite
Like Camus, he could be a druid, at least on paper. The ranger class has access to some druid spells, but I don’t know if it would match Aphrodite aesthetic completely. As a ranger, I’d go for a Fay Wanderer subclass and maybe a few paladin levels (Oath of the Crown subclass). He can have some levels a cleric (Nature Domain) as a treat.
#wren text tag#saint seiya#headcanons#knights of the zodiac#yeahhhhhh take my assumptions and my headcanons as well#this is my personal take but if you guys want to add some opinions please do :)#I spent way too much on this and most of the time was deciding a class for shaka lol#I also know somebody will point out the fact they aren’t all full paladins#(saints or knights could give the idea that paladin is an equival thing but not really... I think)#but the only class who’s powers are connected to a deity are the clerics (wich can be excused in Shaka = Buddha case)#the warlock here doesn’t count bc well… a warlock patron’s generally isn’t a deity#paladins take their powers from an oath aka some rules they must to follow and pledge their life to#that’s why their spellcasting ability is charisma#it’s the power derived from their personal convictions and beliefs#I might try to make the bronze saints#in my mind they are a bit more difficult bc I assume they aren’t at the same level of a gold saint#bc I there was a need for a multiclass there wouldn't be enoght levels to work with#<- this can easily be argued btw by the whole twelve houses arc btw#aries mu#taurus aldebaran#gemini saga#cancer deathmask#leo aiolia#virgo shaka#libra dohko#scorpio milo#capricorn shura#aquarius camus#pisces aphrodite#sagittarius aiolos
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did you ever notice how merry doesn't actually volunteer for the quest? pippin is the one who assumes he and merry will go, gandalf vouches for them both, but merry doesn't say a word for the entire encounter. it's a stark difference from his insistence on going with frodo in the conspiracy chapter, and i think it's because he's totally lost his confidence. in the beginning, he's very confident and fully believes he'll be able to lead the group through the old forest to bree with no trouble, and then they all almost die twice basically immediately. notice that when they get to bree, he refuses to go to the prancing pony with the others, deciding instead to stay in their room alone? and then of course he gets attacked by nazgul, which definitely doesn't help matters. i think by the time they get to Rivendell, he no longer believes himself capable of helping frodo. he'll do it, obviously, if frodo or gandalf or elrond or pippin ask him to, but i think he's at a point where he no longer believes he'll be any good.
#lotr#i've been trying to write this since the day i got admitted to hospital (over a week ago) bc it is a deeply held conviction i have#that i've never really seen anyone else talk about? to the point where tolkien prof corey olsen says merry doesn't have a crisis of#confidence until AFTER pippin in the chapter with the wolves and i disagree so so strongly#he does a lot of 'hm interesting that merry doesn't want to hang out with the others in bree. interesting that he doesn't volunteer for the#quest.' and i'm like dude!! the crisis of confidence has already happened!! you missed it my guy!!!!!#it's one of those things where like. we all know merry's arc is about confidence so you assume he already has low confidence but no!#he's VERY confident! he founds the conspiracy bc he believes frodo needs his specific skills to be successful! he believes in himself!!#and it's not until his plans almost get them killed that he has this crisis. anyway.#lotr meta#merry brandybuck
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To be fair: Serpico and Farnese barely have any interactions even in Conviction. Most of their bond is presented during Serpico's flashback at the start of Millenium Falcon, and even then that's mostly through Serpico's pov
Really when you think about it their relationship is a bit one sided: it's Serpico who has a near admiration for Farnese, especially due to him knowing the truth about their parentage. But to Farnese Serpico has always just been her loyal servant. Past her trying to propose her love for him and escape together even Serpico notes that their relationship stayed as just a master/servant type. Farnese certainly cares about Serpico, given that he was the first person she's ever had any type of relationship with and has been with her since forever, and it can be seen when she was about to fall off the Church roof as she kept screaming his name while he was fighting the Kelpie ,but it doesn't seem like she harbors for him the same type of affection that he has for her
Case in point: you always see Serpico thinking about Farnese but never the other way around
They have certainly interacted more back then - I'm thinking of a scene where Farnese reminds Serpico that she and only she is his master, IIRC because he didn't want to blindly obey an order of hers.
But you're right that the story doesn't explore Farnese's feelings for Serpico after that rejected love confession. I can understand her acting coldly towards him when she's still leader of the Holy Iron Chain Knights, because she wants to pretend nothing happened between them because she is still in denial about her true emotions, but afterwards you'd think she'd reconsider him, even as a way to say "I don't see you as my servant anymore, but as my friend".
Serpico was, from what I have interpreted, the human equivalent of Farnese's blanket: a reliable source of safety, the one she has always desperately craved. But now, that source is Guts. And between her feelings for him and her focus on taking care of Casca, it does feel like Serpico has been pushed to the side, while Serpico is still unwaveringly loyal and cares for her both as his Lady and as his sister.
I don't mind the idea that he's more attached to her than the other way around, or even that she detached herself as a way to grow more independent, but it was a missed opportunity to develop them even more.
#berserk#farnese de vandimion#serpico#hot take: as a character i prefer pre-character development farnese#i do appreciate her growth a lot!#but i found her more complex during the conviction arc#and i think her power over serpico is one of the reasons why#big fan of those master/dog relationships :p and i like the psychology behind farnese's need to feel powerful#but eh it is what it is#i still love farnese as she is but it's a shame there was a shift in relationships
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tbh I'll never get why people get mad at bruce for resuscitating the joker. like, okay, in terms of reader reaction i also wish the joker would just die. but isn't it pretty clear IN-TEXT that reviving the joker was partly also done out of love for dick...? babs herself asks batman to stop dick from killing the joker. and didn't dick express relief that bruce reviving the joker means he didn't take a life?????
i just think it's a shame that people make it all about bruce when the focus should be on dick. heck, babs had to call in ted and tim to patrol bludhaven bc dick was so caught up in his own anguish after the incident—she even called in wally to come give him a talk!! like!! idk.
#dcposting#dc#batman#dick grayson#i think people just overlook how much dick and bruce's values align. now we could talk all day about whether dick inherited it from bruce or#if dick would develop those same convictions independent of bruce's influence but as it is (and as it was during this arc) he very much#does not kill as well.
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I have a question about some of your Salem thoughts
If Salem is 110% certain that she can take down the Gods (assuming that's her goal since we don't actually know), why wouldn't she communicate her plan to Oz? Especially if she truly doesn't want anyone to die like you say. Oz would jump at the bit if Salem said "Hey I want to stop fighting" since that would mean their shadow war would stop. I really don't think Oz likes the Gods either, and even if he's afraid of them, if *Salem* is that confident she can stop them (she's far from an idiot), I'm sure he'd at least hear her out (which would tell Salem a LOT).
If she's that confident and truly doesn't want to fight, why wouldn't she tell Oz her new plan? And why would she kickstart her plan by attacking the kingdoms/Academies? Surely she could find a way to steal the Relics without flat out attacking them (like sending in double agents to take the Maiden powers)? Like... she would've known she'd get people killed, including children and innocent people. Even if she did damage control (which I think is just strategic, why bother going after people if she's focusing on the Relics? She's not gonna waste precious time and resources), she surely knew people would get caught in the crossfire.
Don't get me wrong, I like what you bring to the table!! Your posts are thought provoking and unique. But I can't see Salem being somehow secretly good. I don't think the show is setting her up that way, and I think she's a fantastic villain, so from my own perspective, doing that kind of twist would be a disservice to her character. I don't think she's inhuman or a complete and total monster who should go, but she's definitely not a good person especially if she can't communicate that she supposedly doesn't want people dead. She seems to be an "the ends justify the means" kind of person, and the show I think has stated that that isn't a good mindset i.e. Ironwood.
Sorry, I rambled and completely strayed from my point 😅 I don't mean to be mean if I come across that way. I hope my ask is interesting or thought provoking though :P
my position is that salem is right, not that she’s secretly good—that is an important distinction. i think she sees the gods clearly for what they are, thinks the divine ultimatum repulsive and unjust, wants remnant to be free, and believes that humanity is transcendent over their creators; she also, quite plainly, does not have any compunction about doing whatever it takes to achieve her ends and while i do think she is still fully capable of and driven by love, she is so TERRIFIED of being hurt again and so CERTAIN that no one could ever care for her that when she does care for someone else it comes out in very, very twisted and often cruel ways. she’s not good, she’s not nice, she’s just right.
equally the heroes are good but not right, because they have yet to really grapple with the premise of the divine mandate (that humanity as it exists right now does not deserve to exist) or their own role in upholding it (their immediate goal is survival, but when they envision the ending of this war they imagine salem driven back and the relics squirreled away again in hope of at best everlasting stalemate). the point of structuring the narrative this way is that neither side can get to the proverbial good ending alone; they need to work together, salem’s ends with the heroes’ means.
like. she’s evil. lol. that’s not in question and i think it goes without saying that she is doing evil things so i don’t feel the need to make a “but she’s still evil though” disclaimer every time i try to tease out what’s going on in her head. notice how my reaction to salem razing vale was OH GLINDA LAYS SIEGE TO THE EMERALD CITY, WE’RE REALLY IN IT NOW and not, like, shock or dismay that salem would do such a terrible thing. brgdfjs
(i DO think she has mostly been trying to avoid ozma and not reciprocating the shadow crusade against her prior to about fourteen years ago and that she isn’t about wanton destruction or killing for the sake of it; and in that sense i think she’s not as bad as the general fanon reading. but that comes with the territory of thinking she has actual reasons for doing what she does as opposed to being, like, a genocidal lunatic.)
anyway. to your questions. the short answer is she’s just as scared of oz as he is of her.
“but he’s the good one!”—think about this from her perspective for a minute. set aside your opinion of her and oz, presuppose for the moment that i’m correct on her motivations, and consider what everything ozma’s done in the last few thousand years looks like to her.
she knows that the gods were monsters. she witnessed them slaughtering the whole world and she saw how little it mattered to them after. she was alone for millions of years, and then hated and feared for thousands of years because she didn’t look human. all that suffering because the gods are punishing her for praying to them. yes?
then ozma returns to her, somehow. he doesn’t explain how or why—maybe he tells her he just doesn’t know—but that’s alright. what matters is that he’s here. he asks what happened to her, and she tells him the truth: the gods ended the world. cursed her. killed everyone. she was alone for so long. (maybe not the whole truth: there are things she’s afraid to say, because the gods did it all to punish her, and it’s her fault, and she’s so scared that he’d despise her if he knew everything. the only reason for her to fear ozma would reject her is if she blamed herself. you don’t hide things out of shame if you don’t feel ashamed of them.)
they learn each other again. fall in love all over again. things are finally okay. they fix up her house. they’re happy together. one day ozma tells her that he’s worried about how divided people are. she wants so badly to make him happy; she would move mountains for him. salem herself has no interest in ruling over people as a god—if she did, she wouldn’t have been living alone in a rotting shack in the middle of nowhere—all that enthusiasm is for him. to support what he wants.
they build a following, found a prosperous kingdom, start a family. four children! how long do you think they were married—ten years? twenty? and the whole time, the whole time, ozma was keeping these secrets from her. that the god of light, who’d condemned her to eternal suffering for praying to his brother, who’d shown utter indifference to the deaths of millions, had sent him back to redeem humanity FROM HER SINS, from what SALEM did. that the point of all this is cleansing humankind of her defiance and inviting THAT MONSTER to remnant to judge whether this world deserved to be subjugated under the brothers’ tyranny again or else be put to death.
imagine how she must have felt when ozma finally told her the truth, knowing that the first thing she told him was that the gods ended the last one. imagine the sickening realization that their whole marriage is built on a lie, because she would never, ever, ever have agreed to help him unite the world if she had known what he sought to unite them for, and ozma knew she never would. that he deceived her! manipulated her into serving the will of a god she knows to be a monster!
and even then—even to the very end—she loved him enough to try. she was willing to forgive all of that and figure out a way to move past it together, and the only thing she asked was that he walk away from his task of submitting this world to the judgment of THAT MONSTER. and he wouldn’t do it.
there’s a gap we don’t get to see, in between ozma backing away from her and salem catching him leaving with the girls, but we can infer that ozma walked out of that room and salem didn’t. imagine how she felt. ten years, twenty years, however long it was, and he was lying to her through it all, and he left her with hardly a moment’s hesitation when she refused to help him enact THAT MONSTER’S retribution against herself. because that is, ultimately, what this is all about; humanity is found guilty by association with her.
imagine how she felt. used. worthless. duped. like a fool for ever trusting him. did he ever love her at all, or was that a lie, too?
when she caught him in the hallway later that night, they both attack each other in the same instant. ozma remembers her attacking him first, but their volleys meet in perfect symmetry and right before salem throws her first bolt of magic, her eyes flicker down in surprise as she tracks the motion of his staff (which we see in the previous shot)—salem remembers him attacking her first.
because they were both so tense and scared and angry at each other that they snapped in exactly the same moment.
their battle is so intense they blow up the castle, and when the smoke clears, salem is a pile of ash. ash! he incinerated her! imagine how enraged you have to be to burn someone to ash. that level of fury, of absolute hatred of her, is literally burnt into her memory as the last thing he did to her before she managed to kill him, inextricably twisted around the guilt and unbearable grief she feels for her children.
he’s dedicated all but a handful of his lives since then to getting rid of her. finding a way to destroy her. (how far is he willing to go? what would happen if salem tried to move on, find community and solace somewhere far away from him? would he come after her? would he follow his god’s example and go after the people she cared about to punish her? is she willing to risk that he might?)
do you think salem understands why ozma did any of this? she doesn’t. she doesn’t get the luxury we do of jinn narrating his side of the story and showing us the anguish he felt, wanting so desperately to be with salem but eaten alive by terror of dooming the world for his happiness. she doesn’t know.
all she knows is how he treated her: the secrets, the deception, the manipulation, the immediate and absolute rejection when she told him no, the explosively violent anger at the end, then centuries upon centuries systematically erasing her from history and enforcing her exile whilst searching for the relics he needs to summon his god for the final judgment. which she knows will inevitably end in the annihilation of the whole world and yet more torture for her with no hope of reprieve, because if all of this was not enough to satisfy the god of light’s grudge against her for, again, just praying to his brother, nothing ever will.
salem feels about ozma now the way blake felt about adam. why did he lie to her, why did he use her, why does he keep coming back, why won’t he just LEAVE HER ALONE, hasn’t she suffered enough, hasn’t she been punished enough, when will it be enough—and intertwined with that, she is being EATEN ALIVE by the conviction that no one could ever truly care about her or feel for her or want to help her or think that she deserves help or even just see her as a person, because if ozma—ozma, the one who saved her from her father’s tower, who knew her and loved her before all of this happened—if ozma thought her so worthless that he would rather serve a god who ended the last world and promises to condemn this one too than suffer her to exist at all in this world, why the fuck would anyone else be any different?
thousands of years later, she still flies off the handle when anyone lies to her. (except cinder. but cinder is always the exception, to every rule.) there’s a reason she recruits the kind of people she does—desperate, broken, angry people starving for something she can promise to give them if they make themselves useful to her—and it’s because she does not believe that she can get anything better than strictly transactional relationships with people who have literally nothing and nowhere else to turn. and when she actually cares about someone? she fights herself tooth and claw over it because she desperately doesn’t want to open herself up to more heartbreak. look at how erratic and cruel she is with cinder.
it’s not rational. salem is smart and very, very tactically shrewd but she is making all of her plans and all of her choices from the assumption that she is and will always be alone in this, because she is unlovable, because she is worthless, because she is the reason this world is damned. and she’s terrified of ozma because to her everything he does suggests that his conviction and dedication to the god of light has never wavered. she cannot see his doubt. she cannot see his misery. she cannot see how much he misses her and desperately wants to make amends. all she can see is that he’s zealously guarding the relics and spreading his god’s word and training children to fight and die in the name of keeping her exiled.
why doesn’t ozma just go to her and tell her he wants to make amends? because he’s terrified she’ll never forgive him and terrified that he’ll damn the world to annihilation if he follows his heart. they’re the same. they’re exactly the same.
but this is also what makes it so possible—even easy—for salem to undergo a villain-to-hero arc, because the only thing that needs to happen is a spark of real hope. that someone, anyone, could really care about her. like. the things she says in her soliloquies about the transformative power of hope? “even the smallest spark of hope is enough to ignite change,” and “it’s true that a simple spark can ignite hope, breathe fire into the hearts of the weary…”—that’s her. one small reason to hope. that is all she needs to change.
she doesn’t want to be razing kingdoms to the ground or cutting a bloody path through children to get those relics. she is willing to do it because she truly, genuinely, from the depths of her soul believes that it’s the only way to free herself from the torture she’s been subjected to for millions of years. she’s driven to this by desperation. she won’t keep doing it if she’s given a reason to feel less desperate.
but she does need to be given a reason, first. she’s hemorrhaging. this is why the winnowing of her inner circle and the split between everyone else in vacuo versus salem + cinder + summer in vale is important; Those Two are the ones she cares about—technically we don’t know for sure regarding summer yet, but the level of trust she has for the lieutenant holding beacon is suggestive—and that being reciprocated is what ignites her hope.
#she IS a fantastic villain#but what makes her so compelling as a villain is all the contradiction and tension in her character#how deeply she loves vs her deep conviction of being unlovable. not wanting to hurt people vs believing it’s the only way to free herself.#everything she does is so intensely personal and so circumscribed by the fear of rejection#these opposing forces drive change because they are pushing and shoving against each other inside her mind and the moment of culmination#occurs when one triumphs over the other. and then she changes in what i expect will be a startlingly dramatic fashion#(that doubles as writing advice btw if you want to write dynamic character arcs put unreconcilable contradictions in your characters)
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Essentially
#berserk#its berking time#berserk manga#berserk anime#mozgus berserk#griffith#not art#holy see#conviction arc berserk#the conviction arc#conviction arc#please i had this idea while at work and HAD to make it
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Elves of Misty Valley | Berserk | Kentaro Miura
#manga#berserk#kentaro miura#berserk guts#conviction arc#berserk conviction arc#lost children chapter#berserk lost children chapter#berserk manga#seinen#dark fantasy#horror#action#adventure#seinen manga#dark fantasy manga#horror manga#adventuee manga#action manga#miura kentaro#manga edit#mangacaps#manga panels
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I’m trying to figure out why the skull demon guy from berserk is such a homie. He just saved Luca’s life, which is great because she is Best Girling herself through the conviction arc, or as I like to call it, the Casca Retrieval Arc.
In other words, Berserk keeps getting darker but I still love it so dearly.
#kit reads berserk#berserk#luca berserk#conviction arc#The tone of this post is off because I’m sleepy and my brain is full of berserk
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Berserk, Volume 18, Chapter 136: Conviction Arc Birth Ceremony Chapter Tower of Shadow, Part 2
#berserk#manga#anime#quote#quotes#life#life lesson#citation#luca#conviction arc#birth ceremony#tower of shadow#art#artistic#drawing#kentaro miura
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#pic#manga art#manga panels#anime and manga#berserk#kentaro miura#guts#griffith#caska#conviction arc
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