#the closest to will I can see would be Mayhem

[pippenplayz]

Rise as Sky high

Raph as The Commander

"Maybe next time I punch a meteor hurdling towards Earth, I'll be the one to shatter into a million pieces."

Donni as Royal Pain

"But first, he had to destroy the very institution that dared to spurn his genius."

Leo as Stiches

"Now you just calm down. Let's go back to one."

Mikey as Jet stream

"Bro, when do we brief the president on supervillain infiltration of the IRS?"

April as Layla

"Big Mistake."

Hueso as nurse

"Their powers usually show up the next day. Or... they die."

Casandra as Waren Peace

"I say if you ever cross me again. I'll roast you alive."

Casey Jones as Ron Wilson

"And I'm Casey Jones. Bus driver."

Sprinter as Principle Powers

"I'm not Lou Jitsu, you know."

Baron Draxum as Sonic Boom

"Sidekick!"

Big mama as medulla

"I love life! Thank you Draxi~. For inviting me."

Todd as All American Boy

"Remember when we used to use real citizens?"

Hugin & Mugin as Lash & Speed

"As representatives of The Sky High welcoming committee..."

"We'd be happy to collect that $15 new student fee."

Dale as Zach

"The dunking must stop."

Kendra as Penny

"I don't want them to sit here."

Tifiny as Magenta

"Wana dance?"

( so want to draw these in the future )

[i-am-hungry-24-7]

[I only have 30 pounds in my bank account] - Mafia!TF141*F!Reader

Summary: You sigh when it's the fifth time someone fights in your poor tea shop this month. You just open it two months ago, in an area ruled by mafia called '141'. Maybe you should find their boss and give them money or what to stop the bullshit keeps happening in your shop. (well, here they come)

Mafia!TF141*F!Reader, but only Soap and Ghost in this chapter unless I extend this

chapter 2

You’re just trying to fulfill your dream, plus survive with the money you earn with your shop, but you start questioning if this is a good idea, maybe you should just listen to your friend and be a 9-5 worker, sitting in front of a laptop the whole day.

This isn’t a good location to open a tea shop, your little shop will rather become a place for dealing drugs or getting extorted in the first month. The area is fully ruled by the mafia, hence the cops couldn’t do anything here, but it makes the rent extremely low, which you’re able to afford with money you saved during school, and have a tiny shop that can barely squeeze in more than 8 people.

Looking at the scene playing in your shop for the fifth time this month, you stare at the people fighting and break the cup with dead eyes. You want to shout, to kick these guys' ass out of here or hit them with your broom, yet you glance at their muscles and the knives in their hand –  probably killing every day as work out, to your opposite one because you slump onto the bed once you close the shop and go upstairs, you choose to remain silent as the yelling only become louder.

Maybe you should find the mafia boss or some henchmen and give them half of your income to prevent the mayhem, but first, you don’t even know who actually rules this fucking place; second, you doubt they will have interest in your skimpy bank account. The only information you have is the mafia ruling here called ‘141’, since it’s an open secret to residents here.

“What are ye arseholes doin’?”

Fuck, here comes another one, or two as you spot the man with a balaclava behind the mohawk man who's speaking. They are tall, muscular and built like bricks. Grown like giraffes either, you complement when you need to crook your neck up to look at them stepping into your shop as if it's their backyard.

but the chaos halts immediately as you watch your ‘customers’ seem shocked with terror at the men.

You pretend you’re deaf and attempt to bury yourself in your counter. Please don’t kill me I didn’t hear a goddamn word and didn’t see you threatening them. You recite your defense as you scrub at the same tea cup till the distinct accent from the mohawk man catches you off guard that you almost drop it.

“I guess it’s already clean, lass.” A smirk appears on his face as he points at the cup.

“Wh– what do you want?” 

“Calm down, jus’ want te have some tea.”

“I only have 30 pounds in my bank account.”

“We’re just sayin’ we want tea.” The taller man speaks for the first time after coming in, and it startles you but forces your brain to function at the same time.

Ah, they aren’t here for money. You finally get what they’re talking about.

“Isn’t it supposed te be a tea shop here? One cup for him, and give me a cup of coffee.”

“Oh, of course. What kind of tea would you like, Sir?” You shift slightly to meet the other man’s eyes, and you want to shiver under his cold eyes.

“Just give him whatever you recommend.” 

They round over the glass scattering on the floor and take a seat closest to your counter after you nod at them.

While boiling the water, you sneak a glimpse at them, and the shape of guns covered by their clothes are unignorable as you scold yourself to stop looking at them, or the bigger guy might stab your eyes, but you still curse whole-heartedly in mind when the Scottish accent man meet your eyes with his azure ones and shines you a grin.

Should just quit staring, or you shouldn’t open this shop at all. Regretting your decisions as you turn back and focus back on making their drink, you’re able to recognize them staring at you from the periphery of your vision. Is it too late to kneel down and beg for your life right now?

You still perfectly make their orders and bring them the drinks, even though you’re sweating internally. At least don’t mess it up, and your confidence in your tea and coffee isn’t born from nothing, as you notice the man with the skull balaclava takes a sip first, then raises his eyebrow, added with a side glance at you.

“Haven’t seen him amazed by tea in years, it must be very good.” The mohawk man whistles as he sips at his coffee and gives an approving nod too.

“Thank you…” Your ego shouldn’t be boosted by mafias, but you still relax a bit knowing you didn't screwed up.

“When did ye open ‘is shop?” The man asks while the other continues drinking his tea, but seemingly taking in the conversation too.

“About two months ago."

"That’s why we didn't know about it before…” He taps at the table twice before shooting you another question “Got blokes like those in yer shop earlier often?”

Death sentence is served to your front, that’s what you think you hear. Is it better to say yes or no? Judging by the fact those people are their minions, you’re not sure if saying yes is indicating they haven’t controlled them appropriately.

“Tell us the truth” 

“Yeah, it’s the fifth time this month.” Swallowing, you confirm. Lies aren’t meaningful, and surely they’re able to pierce any veil with those scrutinizing stares and keen minds.

You watch them sharing a glance, and Soap takes out a pen along with a piece of paper, and starts scribbling on it.

“Here, call this number when you run in trouble, aye?" He shoves the paper into your grasp “I’m Soap, call him Ghost.”

"It’s a nice shop, we’ll come back soon.”

Your little shop drops into peace again as your customers leave, and you gaze at the generous tip lying on your counter, to the paper in your palm.

A number is written on it, with a big badge of ‘141’ beside it.

Oh shit, so your shop just became the most far-flung mafia’s property without you knowing.

[moonstruckme]

hi! i saw you were requesting more camp counselor!james x reader, and i was thinking maybe james and reader's groups are having a lake day and james is playfully rough housing with reader (like tackling them in the water, reader holding onto his meck while he swims with her, just fun playful manhandling!)

Thanks for requesting lovely!

camp counselor!James x fem!reader ♡ 759 words

“Fishies, fishies,” James calls, grinning ear to ear as he lies in wait in the chest-deep water, “come out and play!” 

You’re not ashamed of using some of your kids as human shields as you all advance cautiously forward. Having James be the shark in this game was a terrible idea, but he won the last round and you suppose rules and rules. All you and the kids have to do to avoid losing this round is get to the rock about twenty feet from the shore, but you have to get past James first. 

He lifts his arms above the water, waggling his fingers menacingly at the kids closest to him. A couple of the boys from his cabin are bold, swimming just within grabbing distance. James waits until a few kids have already made it past him before shouting, “Shark attack!” 

Mayhem erupts. You’re kicked by a couple of small feet as the campers around you take off, and you do the same, swimming for the safety zone. You see the kids nearest James go down with splashes and dramatic screams of defeat as he catches them. Then, his gaze narrows on you. 

His grin widens when you start swimming faster. He takes a couple of powerful strokes in your direction, but you’re almost past him, you think you can make it if you dive under—big hands latch onto your angles. You’re jerked backward, water going up your nose before you’re pulled flush against a warm chest. 

It takes you a second to realize you’re out of the water, but then James’ hand is lifting the wet hair from your face. His body shakes behind yours while you cough and sputter. 

“Oops,” he laughs, turning you around and continuing to push pieces of hair away from your eyes as you blow water out of your nose. “Sorry, lovely.” He says it so simply, like plain fact. Your heart stutters. 

It takes you another second to be able to speak. James really does look sorry then, ducking to see your face while you catch your breath. 

“You alright?” he asks. His hand finds your sun-warmed shoulder, rubbing. “I didn’t mean to be so rough with you.” 

“I’m fine,” you say, smiling giddily despite the lake water still streaming down your face. “Sorry, just, water got up my nose.” 

“I could tell.” There’s both amusement and sympathy in his smile. “I’d let you get revenge on me sometime, if it would make you feel better.” 

You think on this for a moment. “It would, actually,” you say before hooking your ankle behind both of his and giving his shoulders a hard shove. 

James’ mouth pops open in surprise as he goes down, and you’re already laughing when he comes back up but it worsens when you see him. His hair has all slicked back, revealing more forehead than you knew he had.

“Minx!” he accuses joyously. 

Before you can think to get away, he’s got his arms banded underneath your back and thighs and has pulled you to his chest again. 

“Hold your breath,” he warns you graciously. You inhale just before he dunks your head under the water. 

You wish you had it in you to be mad, but the way his fingers dig into your thighs is scrambling your brain waves, and James is impossible to be angry with in the first place. When you come back out of the water you’re still laughing, frenetic giggles that have him grinning down at you too. 

“Your hair!” you manage, reaching up a hand to attempt to comb some of it back down. 

It’s not that James has an unusually large forehead, just that you’ve never seen it, and for some reason the sight worsens your delirium. You don’t even try to get out of his hold, entirely focussed on righting his hair, already curling at the ends despite how waterlogged it is. James’ smile softens. 

“Thanks,” he says. You’re so close you can see your reflection in his eyes, the glint of the water behind you flashing in his pupils. 

It sobers you, and you stop, pulling your hand back to your chest like you’ve hurt it. James takes the cue to let you go. 

“Think twice before you try to water wrestle me again,” he teases, and you do your best to smile in response. 

The kids taunt James for only having turned three of you into sharks, having let the rest of the campers get by after he’d caught you. He admits to having gotten distracted.

[plusvanity]

What’s your take on Pelle wanting a romantic relationship irl? Do you think it’s something he would’ve wanted? Or was he afraid that he was too odd for someone to accept him? (I don’t know if that sounds harsh). Since you think that he was sensitive.

Btw I love your analysis girl 🫶

I'm not so sure about relationships, but I firmly believe that he wanted to connect to someone, somehow.

In terms of friendships, I think Øystein was the closest friend he had (at least during his time in Norway), but even so, Pelle didn't open up much for various reasons that include the environment in which he was at that time and most probably trust issues. Talking at some point with Old Mayhem, she described an 'invisible wall' between Pelle and his friends/ the world and I couldn't agree more. It feels like Pelle would've wanted this meaningful connection with someone, anyone, but unfortunately, he didn't manage to form it. I genuinely think this had a massive contribution to why he took his own life.

I don't know if he would've wanted a relationship because a relationship comes with a lot of stress and pressure for being in a commitment, attending someone else's needs, etc, but he definitely felt alone and forgotten in this world. After all, he wrote in his last lyrics 'No one will ever miss you'. He longed to be seen, to be given attention and importance. There are a lot of signs of emotional neglect in how he developed, but I will try to keep it short. I consider him as being in the autism spectrum and a relationship would most likely feel overwhelming, especially since he would lack experience, confidence, etc. But if I have to imagine him in a relationship, I can only imagine him being with someone patient and calm.

People with strong trauma responses, PTSD and those who suffer from personality disorders need a partner who is a bit more mentally equipped to manage stressful situations than your average Joe. To see improvement in Pelle's mental health, he would need a very patient and mature partner.

Love can heal a broken heart. I am one of those people who believe that no matter how broken you are, if you find someone to love you for who you are, someone who is willing to accept you with all of your inner demons, with the the good and the ugly, you can start to heal. Currently, I'm following this process myself. The human brain can be programmed and re-programmed. We are very adaptable to our environments and if we make our senses realize we're not in danger anymore, we can finally allow ourselves inner peace. This is why I believe that Pelle could've been saved.

Hypothetically speaking, Pelle would have a hard time adjusting to a relationship. He was quite rigid, stubborn and unwilling to change for others. To make a relationship work, you need to make some compromises. Another aspect that I want to point out is that Pelle had outbursts or 'episodes' of impulsive behavior when he was living. That would be a serious problem. Øystein (and Metalion, if I remember correctly) had to literally hold Pelle down when he suddenly wanted to 'go to Transylvania'. The question is: Would someone be able (and willing) to deal with this again and again? He would definitely need psychiatric treatment, but would he accept that? There are so many factors that would make dating Pelle a real challenge. I also believe that he was suffering some sort of perceptual delusion. I won't call it Cotard's syndrome since it is not recognized in the DSM and since we have very little information about it, but my honest opinion is that he might have had something more that just depression and I'm kind of pointing towards Major Depression with Psychotic Features. If you believe something else, that's fine. Everyone does their own research and reaches their own conclusions.

I do think he was sensitive and there would've been room in him to grow positive feelings towards someone, to form a meaningful connection and learn to trust again. In the end, it doesn't matter if he would've had a romantic partner or a best friend, he would've liked to form a bond with another soul, someone who understands him, respects him and is there to stay.

I imagine him as being very honest, capable of showing tenderness, being mindful, quiet, contemplative and trustworthy in a meaningful relationship.

Sorry for my late response, I had an awful weekend.

[child0feden]

Pen pal! Pelle! but reader is a Sanrio girly (my melody especially) and all of her letters are in my melody envelopes and paper which pelle pins up on his wall but would the other guys in Mayhem make fun of him? Or just ignore it?

awhhh, this is cute! i think that pen pal! pelle would, in a kind of strange way, really love something this… obviously pink is not his personal favourite colour nor are cute little characters quite his thing but seeing just how much effort you always put into your letters to him? seeing the light pink envelopes that they always come inside of? seeing the gentle pink paper that your letters are written on? seeing the small sparkling stickers of the cartoon character that you place on top of any small blank spaces of the paper that your letter is written on? seeing your words in the letter being written down in shimmering pink glitter pen ink? he just appreciates it, seeing how much effort you put into your letters to him just makes him feel so special and so loved… to you, it is probably such a small thing but to pelle? it shows how much true passion you put into your letters to him, it shows how much you genuinely enjoy writing back to him and that goes such a long way with both him and his once closed off heart…

pen pal! pelle has little to no idea at all who or what this little cartoon character that you seem to love so much is but what he does know is that now when he goes to collect the bands shared mail at closest the post office? when his tired blue eyes land on a pink envelope with the said character printed across the thin paper along with a pastel ribbon wrapped around it bunched in with some other plain envelopes holding letters that are obviously addressed to the other members of the band? it never fails to make the smallest little smile crawl across his pale face as he takes the bundle of letters into his hand before rushing his way back home with them all! but just one letter in the small bunch of them in his hands has his interest at all and it is the one with the now familiar yet still not well known character printed across the envelope

øystein and jan would definitely poke some little fun at him from time to time whenever they see him come through the front door holding the light pink envelope with an adorable, yet obscure and unknown to them, character printed on the coloured paper in his pale hand after he gets back to the shared band house from the local post office but in general? they never get all too mean nor too serious about it and it is not super common for them to point it out at all! they are not heartless people and for the most part? they just let pelle do his own thing and almost never even enter his room to even catch sight of the other pink pieces of paper that he has pinned up on the tall wall beside his makeshift bed… for the most part, they see how much better pelle has started getting ever since he became a pen pal to you which as friends? that makes them happy and as a band? that helps a lot with productivity when making music! so whilst yes, they do crack the occasional little jokes about the cute pink envelopes your letters always come inside of, they are never mean enough to actually get to pelle and he usually just shakes his head at their jokes whilst hiding his reddening cheeks with his long blonde hair as he throws their letters towards them before returning up to his private room with your letter held tight in his hand… he is always much too focused on wanting to be alone and get to reading your letter to take in their words, he just shakes the jokes off and leaves…

maybe it is bad and almost a hoarder type of thing but pen pal! pelle can never ever find it in him to throw away anything that comes along with your letters! the thin silk ribbons that you always tie around the envelope with a little bow knot at the front? he keeps every single piece of that silk after unraveling the almost perfect bow, he keeps all of it in a drawer at his wooden desk and even keeps one piece of silk ribbon in the pocket of his tattered jeans at all times which often becomes a frequent little stress toy of sorts for him as he slips his hand into the pocket and wraps the soft ribbon around his slim fingers when nervous or having an especially bad night! all of your pink envelopes that have your favourite little character printed across the paper? even after ripping them open to get to the letter held inside, he keeps those in a drawer at his desk too! all of this stuff related to you is kept inside of one single drawer that is basically dedicated to you whilst some of it like a few of your letters as well as some pictures of you get pinned up on the wall right beside his bed! deep down he knows that you probably would not be mad or upset if he threw away the pieces of decorative ribbon and the envelopes but he just cannot do it, it feels far too special to him and it is the most effort anyone has ever put into something meant for him in a very long time, he just wants to treasure it all forever until the end of time

i definitely do not think that they even existed at the time but if pelle saw a my melody stamp set at the post office when he was out collecting mail once more? he would use the little money he has available to buy the set in a heartbeat and sends his letters to you using the stamps because he knows that you will like them due to the character printed on then or at least he really hopes that you will like them… and of course you do! a small section of your letter back to him after the first time he uses one of the new stamps is just gushing over how cute it is and how much you love it before you thank him for using a stamp like that just for you, when he reads your written words about how it made you feel so special and soft inside? he can feel his cheeks grow so warm and his heart tightens in his chest as he realises that he made you feel special too, he made you feel special when you always make him feel so special… it is all he ever wanted to do, it is all he ever wanted to make you feel and he did it…

anyways, yeah this is so cute and i love it! thanks for sending this in, anon <3

[pink-bandana-writes]

Glimpse of Us

Raphael x Reader

Summary: While closing at work, a group of familiar faces appears behind the dumpster: younger, alternate versions of your boyfriend and his brothers.

Note: Super, super excited for Mutant Mayhem in August and every time I see one of those trailers, all I can think about is how fatherly the Bayverse boys would be towards them, so have this. I’ve been wanting to write some soft Raphael.

Warnings: Swears, alludes to sex, talks about having kids

Word Count: 2.5k

Reader is: 23, half-alien, feminine

It was shaping up to be a slow night at work. You laughed, reading over the last text Raphael had sent you. He always texted you back and forth when it was slow in an attempt to keep you occupied. It worked most of the time.

You were closing. It was just after midnight. You didn’t have much left to do, just to wipe down some of the counters, count the registers, and take out the trash. Seeing as the trash was pretty full, you elected to do that first, taking the bags out of the trash cans and tying them up real tight before hauling them out the back door and into the little area by the dumpsters, the empty parking lot just beyond it.

You chucked the trash bags in one by one and turned back towards the back door when you heard something rustling behind the dumpsters. Something big.

“Raph?” You whispered, looking into the shadows. The rustling stopped.

“Dude, how does she know your name?”

“How does she know my name?” A voice whispered. A young-sounding voice.

“Guys?” You asked. “It’s okay, you can come out.”

“Splinter will kill us if we expose ourselves to a human! We can’t just go out there!” Said a squeaky voice.

“But how does she know Raph’s name?”

“Either you come out or I’ll turn on my flashlight. Listen, I promise, I…you can trust me.”

They argued amongst themselves for a while longer and then, slowly, Raph stepped into the light, both of his hands forward. But this wasn’t your Raph. No, this Raph was much smaller than your Raph, much younger and…scared of you.

“Oh shit.”

“See, I told you this was a bad idea!” Another voice chimed. Leo, no doubt, confirmed when he too stepped out of the shadows.

“Oh my GOD.” You stared at them. “H-how did you get here? You know what, nevermind. You’ve gotta stay out of sight. Um…” You thought for a moment, spotting your car out in the parking lot. “These are my keys. Where’s Donnie?”

“How does she know your name?” Mikey asked.

“Dude, how would I know?” The high-pitch voice asked again as Donnie and Mikey emerged next.

You tossed Donnie your keys. “That’s my car. Go in there and stay in there. Lock the doors and don’t unlock them for anyone but me. Stay out of sight. I have to lock up real quick and then I’ll be right out, okay?”

“Why should we trust you?” little Leo asked, wavering as he did.

“I’ll explain everything when I get back.” You met his eyes and then Raph’s. “I promise.”

Leo hesitated for a long moment before nodding, leading the others to your car and scurrying inside.

You went back in, counting the registers, wiping the counters, and locking everything up at record speed. You logged into the computer and hesitated, but went into the security footage, wiping those ten minutes from the record, and then walked out to your car, knocking on the window.

The door unlocked and you hopped in, locking the doors behind you again. You looked down at the back seats, where all four boys were crouched down out of sight of the windows.

“You can pull those little curtains down.” You told them, pointing to the rolling curtains Donnie had mounted for you in case any of your boys needed to lay low for a bit.

“Oh. Cool.” Little Mikey moved first, pulling down the one on the window closest to him and the others did the same.

“I’m gonna pull the car over where the cameras don’t reach, alright? And then I’m gonna make a call.”

Donnie handed you the keys and you did what you promised, pulling the car into the overpass of the mall you worked at, beneath the theater. It was darker there and, like you’d said, the cameras didn’t work.

You put the car in park, sighed, and then fished your phone out of your purse, pressing Leo’s contact before holding it up to your ear.

“Hey, (Y/N)! Everything alright?”

“Yeah, kinda. Um, can you guys come here? Like now? The usual spot in the underpass. And bring the big truck, the van doesn’t have enough seats.”

“Wanna clue me in on what’s going on?” He asked.

You glanced back at the four little versions of your boyfriend and his brothers sitting in your back seats. “Uhhhh, I think it’s just gonna be easier for you to see when you get here. I’m not in any imminent danger.”

“Roger that. We’ll be there in ten.”

“See ya.” You hung up, looking back at the boys. “There are snacks behind the passenger seat. Help yourselves to whatever.”

“Was that the police?” little Leo asked.

“No! No. No it wasn’t.” You chuckled, shaking your head. Ironic.

Ten minutes later on the dot, the infamous Tartaruga Brothers truck rolled up, parking next to your car. You exhaled a sigh of relief.

“Alright, they’re here. You can put the shades down.”

“Tartaruga Brothers?” Raph read.

“That means…turtle in Italian.” Donnie noted.

You nodded and opened the door getting out of the car. Raph was the first one out, looking you over for any signs of injury. He searched your eyes.

“You alright, shorty?”

“I’m fine. Good, actually.” You nodded, looking up at him.

“What’s goin’ on?”

“Yeah, what is going on?” Leo asked, coming out after his brother, Mikey and Donnie not far behind.

“Something weird.” You replied, motioning for their smaller counterparts to exit your vehicle. They did, one by one, filing out of your car and looking up, up, up at your boyfriend and his brothers.

“Woahhhhh,” little Raph murmured, staring up at your Raph. “You’re…”

“Me.” Your Raph whispered, looking down at him. He looked at you, too, eyes wide.

“When…” Donnie asked, the words dying in his throat.

“Like thirty minutes ago. I erased the camera footage.”

“Thank you.” Leo said, nodding.

“No problem.”

“Wait, so you’re…You know us? You’re…” little Leo looked between you and Raph, eyes wide.

“She’s cool, guys, I promise.” Mikey grinned. “Now, get in the truck. We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

“(Y/N) and I will follow. We’ll meet you in the Lair.” Raph said, making eye contact with Leo, who nodded his approval.

“Oh my god, you guys have a lair too?” little Donnie asked, eyes lighting up as he followed his older counterpart into the truck.

“I’ll order pizza!” Mikey volunteered, sending all the younger boys into cheers.

Little Raph hesitated, looking between you and your Raph before getting dragged into the truck by Leo.

You hopped into your car, Raph getting in the back seat and putting the curtains back down. You turned the car back on and started driving down the backroads.

“Thanks for bein’ so cool about this. Keepin’ ‘em calm and stuff.” Raph said, making eye contact with you in the rearview mirror. “You drop the alien bomb on ‘em yet?”

“You think they’d be that calm if I did?” You chuckled.

He smirked. “Fair point.”

“So Donnie was right about the multiverse stuff, then.”

“Guess so. They say much about how they got here?”

“No. Little Leo thought I was gonna call the cops on them.” You told him, earning a laugh.

“Typical.” He paused.

“It’s weird. They’re like you guys, but they’re so young.”

“We were once.” Raph said.

“Don’t remind me.” You chuckled. You’d met Raph six years before when both of you were seventeen, shortly after he and his brothers had saved the world for the second time. Even now, it seemed lifetimes ago that you were that naïve.

You pulled into your designated parking spot next to the truck and the heavy garage door slid down behind it, closing you in. You and Raph walked out into the living room, where the others were all congregated, a very confused Splinter listening to Leo and Donnie as they talked to him. They perked up when you walked in.

“Ah, (Y/N), there you are. Come, sit.” Splinter invited you.

Mikey took it upon himself to entertain the younger set of brothers while the rest of you spoke with Splinter in one of the alcoves. Raph’s thick arm settled around your shoulders, your curled legs resting against his thigh.

You explained to him exactly what had happened. You’d found them behind the dumpsters, earned their trust, erased the footage, and got them to the Lair. The rest, you had no clue about. How they’d gotten there, where they were from, how Donnie was going to get them back home…

“Thank you.” Splinter said, his paw resting against your hand for a moment. “For taking care of them.”

“Of course, Splinter.” You nodded.

“I’ll start running diagnostics.” Donnie volunteered, walking over towards his lab.

“I’ll ask Little Leo what he remembers.” Leo said, nodding before heading off to where the boys were playing video games with Mikey.

That left you and Raph in the alcove, his arm tugging you closer. Before he made a move, his eyes settled on Little Raph, making his way over. He looked…shyer than your Raph, you decided.

“Can I talk to you guys for a sec?” He asked.

“Sure. What’s on yer mind?” Raph leaned back against the couch, eyeing his double in amusement.

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-three.” Raph replied. “I’m a few months older than her.”

“Oh. Cool. How’d you two meet?”

“Long story.” You chuckled.

“Little more original than Tinder.” Raph quipped. “Found her at a meteor crash site. Thought it was Kraang tech.”

“What’s a Kraang?” Little Raph asked.

“I’m sure you’ll meet him later.”

“And she’s…you’re…you’re cool with him being…like this?” Little Raph asked, shattering your heart into a million pieces.

“Yeah, of course I am, hon.” You told him, your voice sincere. “More than cool, I would say. And uh, I’m not exactly normal myself.”

“What are you, an alien?” Little Raph quipped. His eyes widened when you and Raph looked at each other.

“Half. On my mother’s side.” You shrugged. “I know I don’t look it, though.”

“Wait, you’re serious.”

“She is.” Raph nodded. He glanced over at you, grinning. “I’m kinda into it, though.”

You elbowed him. “You better be, at this point.”

“Raph! Pizza’s here!” Both of the Mikeys called out in sync, looking at each other with wide eyes and then high-fiving, buzzing about twin telepathy or something.

“Pizza.” Raph motioned towards the other room, standing up and helping you to your feet, Little Raph going ahead of the two of you. The way Raph looked at him…a glimmer in his green, green eyes you’d never seen before.

***

The little turtles were staying the night and into the foreseeable future, crashing on the couches in the living room. You decided to stay too, since it was like four in the morning. Raph undressed and got into bed with you, just in his sweatpants. All of his gear on the floor, bandana dangling from the bedpost.

He crawled on top of you, head resting on your chest. You gently scratched his shell, causing him to churr softly, nuzzling further into you, a peaceful expression taking over his face. You loved when he got like this, all comfortable and blissed out. The expression faded, though and he tilted his head to look up to you.

“Hey, uh, can we talk about something? Something kinda…serious, I guess.”

“Yeah, of course.” You nodded.

He got off of you and laid on his side so he could look at you while he spoke. You took one of his hands, kissing it softly.

“What’s going on, big guy?”

“I just, uh…I don’t know, him bein’ here today…All of ‘em, really…Got me thinking about stuff.”

“Thinking about what?”

“Kids.” He replied, inhaling when the word came out of his mouth, almost like he wasn’t expecting it.

“Oh.”

“He…He just…He reminds me of…like our son, I guess. What I think our son would turn out like. And I…I ain’t ever realized I wanted that before. And…and the way you handled ‘em, keepin’ em safe, gettin’ em here…” He sighed, a tentative smile looming on his handsome features. “I want that with you. And it scares me, but…I don’t know, maybe I’m bein’ silly.”

“You’re not being silly.” You told him.

“And I know that any…any kid we brought into this world would never…never get ta be normal and I…I don’t even know if it’s possible or if you want that too, or…Please say somethin’, baby.”

“If it is scientifically possible for us then, yeah. Yeah I absolutely want that someday, Raph.” You reassured him, a hand reaching up to cup his cheek. “I want that with you.”

He exhaled, grinning, tears welling in his eyes. “Ya mean it?”

“I’ve never meant anything more.” You promised him, kissing his snout before he rolled on top of you again, peppering a million kisses to your cheek and neck, causing you to giggle.

He shushed you. “Gotta keep quiet, baby, remember? Our kid’s sleepin’ in the other room.”

“Right. Forgot.” You rolled your eyes, settling down again as he snuggled into you.

“Ya know I love ya, right?”

“I might have picked up on that, yeah.”

“Night.”

“Goodnight, Red. I love you, too.”

***

It was later the following afternoon Donnie and Donnie Jr. cracked interdimensional travel and opened a portal to the younger boys’ lair.

“You guys stay safe, alright? Stay out of trouble.” Leo advised.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Mikey chuckled.

“Well that just leaves their options wide open, doesn’t it?” Raph chuckled, giving Mikey’s head a shove.

“Thank you guys. All of you.” Little Leo said, looking around the room. He made eye contact with you. “And I’m sorry for not trusting you.”

“You don’t have to be sorry for that. This one didn’t trust me either when we met.” You elbowed your Leo, earning a friendly chuckle from him.

“Hey, I came around.”

“Yeah, two months later.” Donnie quipped, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Was it really two whole months?” Leo asked in disbelief.

“I knew she was alright. I’m a good judge of character.” Mikey bragged.

“You would take candy from a man in a van.” Raph joked, earning laughs from the other guys.

“Name one time that’s happened, Raph!” Mikey huffed.

The bickering went on for a while longer before the boys finally decided it was time to leave.

“Hey Raph, can we talk for a sec?” Your Raph asked, motioning his younger self over to the side.

The two of them spoke for a bit, you couldn’t hear about what, and then, out of nowhere, Little Raph hugged Big Raph before following his brothers through the portal. It closed shortly after, leaving the five of you standing there in shock for a while.

“What was that about?” You asked.

“Had to give him some pointers. How else is he supposed to find ya? Well, his you, if there is one.”

“Raph, I promise you, in every reality, there’s a you and a me that falls in love.”

“You’re a sap.” He chuckled.

“You’re into it.” He pressed a long kiss to your lips, grinning. “Guilty as charged.”

Tags: @thelaundrybitch, @turtle-babe83, @dilucsflame33, @happymoonangel, @scholastic-dragon, @manduse, @towomatos, @sketchy-loo6195, @rae-iin, @leleouwu

[hikarry]

If you think about it, Crowley never belonged anywhere

Before they settled in London, both Aziraphale and Crowley were all over the world completing their assignments, never time enough to settle down and gain roots. They both saw every stay as quick and temporary cause they never knew where they would be sent next

I presume Aziraphale somehow convinced Gabriel that having an official Heavenly Embassy on Earth would be a good idea and that's how he got to have the bookshop but there has never been nothing like an official Hellish Embassy ever.

Alas, probably around the time Aziraphale opened the bookshop, Crowley also decided to settle in London...for no reason in particular, obviously. It's just that his enemy, the one he is supposed to mess with, will permanently be there, you know? It's only efficient that he stays in the same place so he can balance the goodness that would flood London. Obviously.

So, he got a flat and that's it. Probably he has had multiple flats through the years, but the one he has kept for longer was the Mayfair one. Yet, it doesn't really feel like a home, does it? It only has the necessary furniture. Sure, he has important stuff there like his plants, his vinyl collection, his throne, the Monalisa sketch, the statues. But that's it. All things he could just pick up and move any time he pleases. The flat is more for storage and sleeping than anything else cause, most of the time, he is either out causing mayhem or he is with Aziraphale. The flat isn't really a home, per se.

The closest place he has felt like he belonged to is the bookshop. That's the closest thing he had to a home. Not only because he would rather spend all his time there than at his soulless flat, but because Aziraphale is there. Sure, he would never say it out loud, but part of him put down roots at the bookshop. That's the place where we see him more relaxed, more like himself. And what is a home if not the place where you can simply be with no pretenses?

But now, he not only lost Aziraphale, but also THEIR bookshop. In the same day he lost his best friend, the man he has been in love with for millenia, and the closest thing he ever considered a home.

Right now, he is a drift again, not belonging anywhere. The only thing important that remained in his life was the Bentley and the plants. He lost everything else

[jillsandwhichs]

What we Gain/Book 1/Chapter 4, Patrol

Masterlist

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x F!Reader

Summary: Sawney & Bean have been killed. There is an investigation underway. You, Levi, Eren and the others are going on patrol

WC: 3.8k

Rating: Mature/Gore/Smut

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Comments, reblogs & likes are appreciated. Thank you

You and Eren were standing side by side, feeding the horses. Today has been casual aside from the losses of the test subjects. Hange's two Titans died-Sawney and Bean. Hange is desvested. You find her obsession with them weird but you support her nonetheless. These losses don't really affect you but overall, even yourself would like to figure out who did it.

You pet Vera, kissing her and giving her a light boop on the nose. When you did, you heard Eren giggle. "What's so funny?" "I'm sorry. It was cute, not funny." "I see. Want to pet her? She's mine. Her name is Vera." "Hi Vera." Eren was soft spoken with the horse. He pet her gently. "I got her when I joined. We're the best of buds." "They only gave me a temporary horse but I've been calling him Kol." "Kol? Unique." You stated. That's a nice name.

Holding the feed bucket up to Veras mouth, you let her eat a bit more. You didn't have time to feed her yesterday with all of the mayhem going on. You're giving her extra today. "I'm sure we'll get you a permanent horse soon." "I hope so." Eren replied. You smiled at him. "How are you liking the scout life so far?" "It's good. I can't complain. I can't wait for a real mission." "Don't overhype yourself. It isn't easy." "I know."

You felt good being able to talk to Eren. You haven't really been able to. He seems like a decent kid.

Eld and Gunther began to murmur to Eren about some random stuff. You ignored it, it wasn't your style of conversation. Instead you focused on Vera. She's so beautiful. You're so glad she's the horse you were set up with. You wanted a female horse badly, you're glad Levi made sure you got her.

Flashback:

"Do any of these appeal to you?" Levi asked you. The three horses before you were beautiful. According to what you know, two are male and one is female. "They are all majestic." You hummed, petting the one on the far right. "Is this the male?" "One of them, yes." Levi confirmed. You smiled and ran your fingers through his mane. "You are a pretty boy, aren't you?" You have a special way of interacting with animals, especially horses.

Growing up on a farm enabled that for you. You, your mother & father (You're an only child) ran a farm in Wall Maria. You helped take care of the animals, sell livestock, sell crops, etc.. You loved it very much. You even had a pony as a child. His name was Castiener (Cast-Eh-Neer) and he was your closest friend. Of course, you were never friends with actual people growing up, you were far too shy. Animals were the friends you made along the way.

The horse that caught your attention the most though was the one on the far end.

"This is the female?" "Yep." You twinkled and she immediately heaved as you pet her. "Hers a tired girl, hm?" You whispered to her, petting her face and neck area. Levi sighed deeply. "I'm sorry Captain. Just give me a moment." You could tell he was getting impatient. "You know when I first joined the scouts, I was handed a horse and told "Here, this one is yours." Unlike you, I didn't have the opportunity of picking, so hurry it up." You gave him a nod and stepped away. "I want her."

As you said that, the stable manager walked out and sighed deeply. "Sorry hun but she's already been claimed. A merchant purchased her for his farm." What? Devastation parred on your face. "Then why have I gotten a chance to look at her? That's a total tease." You stated. He shook his head. He agreed, it was odd that you got to take a look at an already claimed horse.

"No clue why they let you see her." The manager said. "My apologies." He then grabbed her reins. Levi scoffed and looked at the manager. "May I have a word with you?" Levi asked him. "Sure thing Levi, follow me." You went to follow them but Levi shook his head. "Just wait for me. Hang tight." "But-" "That's an order." Guess you can't fight that.

You plopped down onto the dirt ground and sat there, waiting for Levi to come back.

Minutes later and there he was but difference was, he was now holding her by the reins and carrying her out. "Aw, you're letting me say goodbye to her." You stood up. Maybe he isn't heartless after all. "No, she's yours." He murmured. He said his sentence rather quietly. "What?" "The horse is yours. Get on her so we can get going, she's already geared up." "She's mine!? But how?" "Don't worry about it. Let's go." Levi ambled to his horse, Lee.

Happiness now coated your face as you mounted your horse (Now Vera).

"Let's go princess."

Thank God for Levi.

Flashback end:

To this day you still don't know what Levi had to do to acquire Vera for you but all you know is you're forever in his debt. Any other horse just wouldn't feel right. You pressed your forehead to hers. "Thank God for Levi, huh?" You expired to yourself before kissing Veras face.

Speak of the devil.

Levi rode in on Lee and began to shout to Eren, Gunther & Eld. You figured they did something wrong or he was giving them some sort of orders. You only started to pay attention when he raced over to you. "Get Vera out-Patrol time." Been a minute since you have been out on a Patrol rather than a full blown mission. "Yes Sir!" "Tsk." Levi rolled his eyes slightly. You sighed and unlocked the stable, taking Vera out.

"C'mon girl." You got onto her and tugged on her reins gently. She boosted off and caught up to Levi. A short distance behind you was Gunther and Eld. Eren was beside Levi on his right, you to his left.

Patrol mode activated.

-

Riding out into the far fields, Levi eventually stopped everyone to have us take different routes back to the castle. Eren stuck with Levi and you whereas Eld and Gunther went right & left. Levi did this formation for the sole reason of scanning out the area. He wants the surrounding land of the castle to be clear and nice looking, not crappy.

While riding, Levi spoke to you. "Do you mind spending some time with me tonight to clean out extra sleeping quarters? Erwin says there's a chance some cadets will choose the scout regiment and well, they'll need somewhere to sleep." "Sure thing Captain. That's not a problem." "Great. You're the only one I can seem to count on." "Are Petra and Oulo with Erwin tonight? For the ceremony?" "Yeah, they are."

Petra and Oulo will help Erwin with the cadet corps ceremony. Hopefully some will choose the scouts. It's terrifying, no doubt, but you are all in serious need of soliders. Fresh bodies. Some will be brave enough to join just as you were and just as the others were too, even Eren.

You looked over at Eren. A determined look was plastered on his face. He seemed ready to get back to the castle. You're definitely ready. You'll be taking a snack break then cleaning up with Levi. Tomorrow will be a day of training and planning. According to Commander Erwin there will be an expedition about a month from now. You and the entirety of the Levi squad will be joining him and the others on it.

"I can make us tea, by the way, once we're done cleaning. I got extra packs from the shop the other day." "Lovely." Levi voiced. "Let's just focus at the task at hand." "Right." You gave him a firm nod and began to focus on... Well... Not only the mission, but him.

Levi Ackerman. Not only is he your captain, but do you also have a thing for him? These feelings are slowly developing and you haven't quite figured out what they are.

You shook your head and sighed. He's right. Task at hand.

-

Later that evening you were in the top floor quarters where most of the scouts (If any even join) will be staying. You don't know how long you'll all be staying here. All you know is that it's not permanent.

You picked up a broom and as you did, Levi entered through the main door. You two will be cleaning together, it's easier that way. Levi doesn't seem to want to rely on anyone else with the cleaning. They only make more of a mess or leave it as it was when they arrived. "Hi." "Hello." Levi gave you a nod. You handed him a rag. "I can sweep, unless you'd rather do that." "Wiping down is fine with me. You can sweep." Levi replied.

"Do you want me to start with the hall first?" "Sure, then work your way up through the rooms. We'll just do this floor tonight. I highly doubt we'll have many recruits." "Same. I hope Erwin doesn't scare all of them out of it." "Don't hold your breath." He huffed out, entering the first bedroom to your guy's right. You have to sweep the hallway first.

It had worn out wooden floorboards. The walls are white and rustic. You can even see cracks of the main cobblestone beginning to show. The paint job done on this wasn't very good it seems. Your sweeping went by rather fast. Admittedly, you made yourself work quickly. You wanted to be with Levi. It's comforting, this hallway is dark and lonely. Occasionally you could hear him clear his throat or moving around. The dust is intense.

These sleeping quarters must've been hardly used. Some of the rooms just from what you see don't even have bedframes, someone will have to get some. You could see dust fly off of the wall as you walked past it.

This place is musty as all hell.

Looking out of the window of the final room, you noticed how dark it is. The moon glistens up in the sky. The sun is no where to be found. The only light aside from the moon were lanterns near the stables. You swept all five rooms up here already. Levi has been scrubbing and occasionally taking breaks due to the dust. He is a bit dramatic with his whole germ thing.

He entered the room you were in and nodded with pleasure. "Thank you for the help. This room is about done I see." "You're welcome, Levi." Levi ambled to the window and began to scrub it. He even picked out the grime between the cracks of the window sill. The floor looked squeaky clean compared to before. It was littered in dust & mites. You're glad it's over with.

To estimate, you spent about an hour cleaning woth Levi. Very few words were exchanged. Apparently when he's cleaning, he's in his own little world. His zone. You can't blame him. Cleaning may seem stressful to most but it's more of a stress relief for the two of you.

"I can still make us that tea once you're finished up with that window." "I'd love that." Levi hummed in reply. You smiled and nodded, setting the broom against the somewhat chipped wall. "How about I go get started on it now?" "That's fine with me. What kind of tea is it, if you don't mind me asking." "Not at all, Levi. It's just lemon flavoured. If that isn't your forte, I have others." Levi once again had a sly grin on his face but he hid it well.

Shaking his head, he said something that caught you a bit off guard.

"The way to my heart is tea, especially lemon. You are free to go make it for us." "Great. It'll be done shortly." You smiled brightly before leaving the room in a hurry. The key to his heart is tea and especially if it's lemon huh? Funny. You figured he had no key to his heart. You figured the key was chucked into oblivion. These past few days it seems Levi has loosened up, especially with you. Maybe it's just from all the chaos going on. He doesn't really have the time or right to be utterly strict.

Just about everyone else is asleep right now. The only person you could imagine is awake is Gunther and that's because he spends a lot of his later evening time writing. You've read some of his work and it's sweet. Supposedly he has a lover back home that he writes to, but you've never been too sure.

Gandering into the kitchen, you opened a cabinet and pulled out two lemon tea bags. The smell of them was excellent. You were excited to get a drink after all that cleaning. You rarely have time for eating and drinking during the day. Breakfast is mainly all you get, rarely lunch and sometimes dinner. For a snack today, you had a peach. It was juicy and delicious. You saw Levi munching on a carrot earlier. It was a cute sight to say the least.

You placed the two bags in each cup and awaited for them to heat up and be done. The citrus aroma made you have a gleeful face. Tea is always a good way to end the day.

Since the small corner room in the mess hall was just below the rustic staircase, you could hear Levi's timid steps rushing down the stairs. He must be excited for the tea. You see him drinking it so often, you wonder if he's even drinking regular water at this point.

Levi walked into the corner room and had a relaxed look on his chiseled face. "It's just about ready." "I'm patient." He leaned against the counter. You don't want this moment to be of just awkward silence. Anytime it's just you and him alone, minimal conversation is made. You haven't really pinned why that is though. You two get along just fine, of course you've had your moments but overall, Levi and you have hit it off amazingly.

It also can't be because you guys aren't bonded, you'd say you're pretty much bonded with everyone on the squad.

So how come?

To you, it's simple. Levi is hot. You like him. He gets you feeling certain types of ways. You've never come to terms with it completely but Levi is a man of many things and one of those things is attraction. Even Petra has eyes for him-too bad for her though, Levi has long since rejected her. Even women will shout to him when he's on his horse or returning from/exhibiting on a mission. It's funny actually. But it's true, some feelings for him have managed to grow inside of you.

You could call it being shy then.

"It smells good. Where is it from?" "A shop near the center of town, it's just here in Wall Rose. I don't know the name, I'll have to ask Gunther. He's the one who told me about it." "Ok." Levi hummed, crossing his arms. "What's your favorite tea? Of all time?" Levi asked you. "Jasmine. Just as we had last night." "I see. I don't really have a favorite myself." Levi replied. "I just remember always drinking Jasmine as a child, it grew on me." "That's precious." Levi whispered, gazing at you.

Yeah, it is. You miss being a young girl. The memories are cherished. The farm was your safe haven. Sometimes you wonder what your life would be like if you decided to stay and not join the cadet corps. You'd probably be married to some bastard and being a breeder for him. The thought is disgusting. You miss you mother and father though, so very much.

"You grew up on a farm, yeah?" "I did." "Disgusting. How could you withstand the smell?" You bellowed at his words. "You just get used to it." You glanced back at him. "I don't think I'd last long on a farm." "From the sounds of it, you would not." You snickered. "It's not as bad as you think." "Maybe." Levi let out a sigh as he took his glass from your hand. "Thank you." "Of course."

The two of you left the corner room and took a seat at the table. It was quiet, peaceful. The room was dark. The only light was from the few windows on the walls and the candle on the table. The smell of your guy's tea was sweet. You couldn't help but revel in its aroma.

Levi sipped his tea and gandered at you.

"I'm thinking we'll go over the formations and positions for the upcoming expedition tomorrow with Eren." He said in a low tone. "I think that's a good idea. I'd like a refresher. Do the new recruits get here tomorrow?" "Yeah, near the evening. I'd like to meet a few of them. I heard that youngling Mikasa wanted to join the scouts alongside Eren." "Mikasa Ackerman? Freaky how you two share a last name." "Yeah. I am curious about that." "I would be too." You agreed.

You figure they're distant cousins of sorts. It is odd though. You've never even heard of Levi's family. All you know is that his mother passed away. May she rest in peace. When you lose your parents, you'll be an emotional wreck. They are all you have, family wise.

Training tomorrow will be decent though. Maybe you'll have a chance to meet some of the new scout recruits. It'll be joyous having new additions. As long as Erwin isn't too serious, some must join, right? You joined because of your bravery. Sometimes you regret it. There are pros to it though. You wouldn't trade your position for anything. You've grown to love working, especially now that you're working alongside Levi.

You yawned lightly and sipped the last bit of your tea. "Are you tired?" "A little bit. I still have some things I need to get done?" "What?" "I have to feed Vera a snack, check on Eren and stretch. I do all three every night." "Check on Eren? Why?" "Well, I just... I don't know. I just don't want him to feel alone." Leon scoffed at your words. "You're very empathetic." "Thank you?" You couldn't tell if it was a compliment or not. "He'll be placed in a real sleeping quarter soon." "Good." A small smile appeared on your face.

Eren deserves a real, comfy bed. He doesn't deserve to be stuck in that cold basement. You'll make sure he gets a good room too.

You sighed deeply and stood up. "I can take your glass, if you'd like. I don't mind washing them up." "No worries, you made the tea, I'll clean up." His hand brushed against yours, causing your skin to tingle. He took both cups. You chuckled and nodded. "Are you sure?" "I'm sure. Go do your things and get some rest. You deserve it." "You do too." You said back to him. That caught him off guard.

He laughed through his nose. "I wish I could get more sleep than I do now." "Why don't you?" "Paperwork, stress... Paranoia." He admitted. You sighed softly. "That's what keeps me up at night too. Anything could happen, y'know?" "Exactly." He voiced in a low voice. "I'm sorry you have to deal with it too." "It's fine. It's nothing I'm not used to." Levi responded. "But you shouldn't be used to it-I am sorry Levi." The twinkle in his eyes when you said that was evident.

"You're a sweet girl." He said abruptly. You giggled. "I hear that often." "I hope you know it. It's hard to maintain a bubbly personality with all that is happening daily. That's special." Levi's words were so kind and true. You took them to heart. "You aren't so bad yourself. The reputation you have, I've learned to see past it." You followed him into the corner room as he set the glasses down. He leaned over the counter and let out a deep blow.

He isn't showing it but you're warming up his heart and stomach. Levi has to contain his feelings, as best as he can. There's a rule about this...

You heard him mumble something to himself. "Are you alright?" "I'm fine." He responded with haste before turning around. You gazed at him with a doe-like look. You were like a deer in headlights-still and calm. "Levi," You stepped a bit closer to him and crossed your arms. "As much as this may sound corny or cheesy, I am here for you, despite just being another soldier." "You aren't just some soldier. You're yourself to me. You're different." Poetic. "Well, still, it still stands." "Thank you then." Levi gave you a nod.

"Well, I better get to it then. I'll see you in the morning." "Okay." "Goodnight." "Night."

You then began to journey off to the stables. Little did you know, as Levi entered his room, he made sure to keep a close eye on you. He worries for you, a lot more than he should. He cares for you, more than he wants to. He doesn't like this. Well, he loves it. He just doesn't want to be vulnerable. Even Hange has pointed it out.

Flashback:

Hange and Levi were sitting on the bench outside of the mess hall. The two of them were sharing a bottle of Gin. "What about her?" Levi snickered out, annoyed with Hange's antics. "You can't deny it. That look in your eyes when you see her, they glimmer." Levi sighed deeply. Does Hange have a hawks eye or something? "No." "Yes, Levi. She's spunky, I don't blame you." Hange snorted, swigging the alcohol.

Levi shook his head. He doesn't know what he feels. He can admit, you're different. There is something about you that takes him by surprise. Ever since you were added to his squad, he's noticed something unique about you with each day. Like how you twirl your hair or how you talk to Vera as if she's human. He'd say his favorite quirk of yours is how you talk so passionately about what you love.

Fuck, is Hange onto something?

"She's just... Different." "Yeah, and you like that, huh?" Hange teased further. Levi rolled his eyes and guzzled some of the limey alcohol down. "Stop riding me about this. I don't know what I feel." Levi put an end to the conversation." "Okay, okay, fair. I'm done. But think about it, yeah?" Hange stood up. "The rest is for you. Ponder life... And her..." She winked at Levi and began to make her way to Moblit and Miche.

Levi scoffed and stood up.

"Fuck sakes." He tipped his head back and gargled down the Gin.

Flashback end:

Scoffing to himself again, Levi layed down in his bed.

"She's going to be the death of me."

[tokoyamisstuff]

gn! Reader I some gore I angst I just a short lil' drabble I can be read platonic or romantic

Your betrayal happened slowly.

There was neither that one dramatic moment that revealed your true intentions, nor a complicated scheme reaching it's end. It was merely an accumulation of barely noticeable sabotages and data breaches.

Things were never supposed to end this way.

But Iscariot - no, the face of your whole church - had changed into something unrecognizeable, something so vile and malicious that your conscience couldn't possibly identify with anymore.

Each and everyone of them had long since stopped serving the true faith, let alone the word of your Lord and Savior. Instead they were twisting the religion to fit after their own sick and selfish desires, leaving a trail of suffering and carnage with no regard of the consequences.

Nonetheless, those people were your allies, friends, the closest thing to a family you might ever have. Indirectly harming them was eating you alive, and yet there was no other way to keep them from committing further sin against innocents.

It started with you secretly slipping informations to the enemy, like that one time you informed Sir Integra that the Judas Priest would invade their area in Ireland.

Anderson noticed early that there was a traitor amongst their rows, his methods of finding the leak unnecessary cruel and without method...

...not once he suspected the informant could be you, though.

At some point however you unveiled Maxwell's plans of using the mayhem caused by Millenium to purge England instead of liberating it - and much to your shock the only person you dared confiding in was already well aware.

After confronting Anderson about this insane operation without him showing any hint of hesistance or remorse, you fled and never looked back, seeking refugee at the Hellsing manor.

Even Alucard's new weapon, forged with the sole purpose to destroy the regenerating priest, had been directly built after the top secret files you had stolen for them.

Too late for any regrets now, you were already in far too deep. You always knew that shall you ever meet again, you'd inevitably find yourself at the other end of his bayonet - and you had made peace with that fact.

Everything has led you to this moment of absolution.

You had been separated from what was left of the Hellsing organization, worn out by aimlessly slaughtering yourself through both nazis and crusaders in this neverending war.

Eventually you just had to run into your former brethren - but for the Paladin himself to cross paths with you was an irony of fate only God could understand.

They say every human has a cardinal sin their soul is especially prone to, and for Anderson that sin has always been wrath.

A flash of recognition made his face drop shortly before his whole stance tensed again, expression contorting through several emotions at once.

He was oozing bloodlust from every pore, like water from the little stream near the orphanage you wished to see again so dearly. You had witnessed this state of his so often yet it had always made you feel oddly safe - but then again, it was never directed to you before.

The priest was calm, too calm for the situation at hand, but you knew him better than that: Beneathe the surface he's close to bursting from all the hatred and rage that's been rotting him from the inside like the poison it is.

He mutely, pitilessly raises his weapons as you fall to your knees in sheer exasperation, the cold stones a huge contrast to the otherwise burning city. You want to explain yourself, cling to his coat and beg his forgiveness - but at the same time you knew you had no right to.

So you decided to gift him one last, heartbroken smile before lowering your head in defeat, voice only a breathless whisper as you apologized for having caused him such trouble and pain.

You wince as you sense the momentum of his blade, but much to your surprise the blow failed to deliver. No, that wasn't right either. It hit the target it was meant to - right into the visage of a SS soldier that had lunged at you from behind, splitting his skull in two.

Anderson's judging stare never left yours as he pulled the weapon from the bloodied carcass, wiping the steel clean on his cassock. For a moment he just stands there, gears in his head visibly turning before he wrings out a shuddered exhale, shaking his head.

He walks past your frozen, trembling self until he turns around one last time, eyes softening ever so slightly. You see his mouth open and close several times in an attempt to vocalize what he had bottled up ever since you left - but even after all that happened, the fact that he missed you so excruciatingly much outweighted anything else.

Ultimately, he feels sorry for having driven you to do this, and even though he cannot forgive you he understands. Yet all he could bring himself to say is:

"Get out of my sight, apostate. Go save yourself."

[burning-academia-if]

1. What would each RO’s dream wedding be like? (Who would be there, what would the theme be, how would they react to seeing MC walking down the aisle/standing at the alter, etc)

2. How would each RO react to waking up after dreaming about the wedding? (Crush stage)

Oh man lol

Rook:

He'd like something small, in a venue a bit away from a town/city. The details he'd probably leave to you, but despite his social butterfly tendencies, I think he'd only want his closest friends there, and his dad, plus whoever you want to invite. Just really simply and quaint. My man would be in absolute shambles the minute he sees you, there's an ethereal light glow about you to him, and he's /this/ close to a total emotional breakdown from joy

Him finally having a happy dream about MC??? He'd be so flustered and embarrassed. Thank god he's a master at masking his feelings because he's going to be thinking about it all day, especially when he sees you.

Beck:

The true dream is back home at Puerto Rico with all his family present with their usual mayhem and all the food he misses eating lmaO The more realistic dream would be beach themed, probably not on the beach because Sand but in a venue by the beach side. Regardless of version Vivir mi Vida by Marc Anthony somehow plays because it's at every Latino party ever. He has the biggest smile when he sees you, eyes gleaming. He can't look away from you for the whole night.

It makes him so soft. He wakes up curled in bed, a small, sleepy smile to himself. He's never really thought of marriage with anyone before, but it feels right that it's you.

Rhea:

She'd plan out a meticulous wedding, at a gorgeous nature-esque location that her high brow family can actually afford. She puts a lot of attention to detail, and she's always asking for your opinions. The ceremony is in a classical type building, but the reception is in a garden adjacent to it. She's silently crying tears of joy when she sees you, and she doesn't even wait for the vows to start before she kisses you, so full of love.

She's flustered, when she wakes up. Her skin feels warm and she can't help but touch her cheeks. The two of you aren't even dating, so it consider something so serious feels silly. Still, her thoughts keep going back to it throughout the day.

Zoe:

They actually don't care much for marriage. It's not really a requirement for them when it comes to a life long partner, and they look at a lot more practically like 'oh health benefits and taxes' lmfaO It's very much more what you want, although they do request something small and private. They'd probably be more keen on planning out the menu and dreaming about that, then anything else lol When it does happen though, their heart is soft and they give you the gentlest small as you walk down the aisle. You look so happy, and that's really everything they could ever dream of

They're not looking at you for the rest of the day. They can't fathom why they'd dream of such a thing, and when you try to talk to them, they keep looking away. You, as their spouse? Their heart trips a little over the thought of it.

Lars:

Also doesn't care about marriage, or rather a wedding ceremony, because what a waste of money LMFAO better to save that for the honeymoon. He can't really picture it, mostly because he never considered he'd have a lifelong partner, and also would there really be anyone who would show up on his side? He goes along with it for you though, and he's pretty helpful during the process surprisingly. When he sees you, his eyes are soft and the smile touching is face is one of his few genuine ones. Despite his feelings about marriage, he really does want to be with you for a long time

Why the hell is dreaming about these things? He squints at the ceiling, wondering why is it one of the rare occasions he actually gets sleep, he's dreaming about marrying you? Acts more annoyed with you then usual throughout the day, and yet, somehow more...forward?

???:

The concept of marriage and weddings is pretty foreign to them, but they love the idea of it actually. Something in the woods, with lanterns and fairy lights strewn about would be pretty, especially during the Spring or Fall with all the different colors. They wouldn't give the traditional vows, and the two of you would probably work together to rewrite the whole usually spiel that's given so it fits a lot more with how you two fit together. The world almost doesn't feel real when they see you. After everything, the two of you can have this

It's a pleasant feeling, spreading through their chest and into their veins. They almost don't want to wake up, just so they can imagine it a little longer. When they speak with you, the feeling of their voice is warmer, softer. There's more affection laced through it then what you're used to.

[savemeafruitjuice]

Tickletober Day 3- Prank

Not really sure what to put here.. Oh yeah, this is my first time writing for Mutant Mayhem/Tales, so sorry if I don't end up capturing the characters perfectly.

Lee: Leo

Ler: Mikey

TW!: ANXIETY ATTACK, FAKING AN INJURY! (Everything here is very mildly described, and I didn't put many details, so it shouldn't be very disturbing. Also, this only has depiction of my experience with anxiety attacks, so please tell me if there's anything inaccurate, so I can fix it.)

No spoilers for this, so it should be all good for anyone who hasn't seen the show.

Closest thing I could get to a gif of those two

"Leo! Somebody, help!"

The leader of the group ran into the living room-area, practically leaping over a chair in the middle of the floor to see his baby brother hunched over on the ground. "Mikey! Mikey, what's wrong?"

Mikey let out a groan of pain, clutching his knee tightly. When his sibling came to see what was wrong, he pouted, showing him his leg that.. didn't really seem to have anything wrong with it? "What happened? Did you fall?"

"I don't know! My knee just really hurts!"

The elder removed his brother's kneepad, only to see a large smiley face drawn on, surrounded by lots of little hearts. The orange turtle began giggling.

Leo paused, eyes skimming over his face, and then back to the knee. "Wait.. Was that just a joke?" The younger burst into laughter, grabbing onto his brother's arm and giggling. That is, until he noticed something was wrong.

The katana-user had a crooked smile on, but his eyes still looked as panicked as they had when he had first came into the room. "Leo..? You alright?"

The elder nodded, smile widening as if to convince them both of his being okay. "Y-Yeah! I'm fine, just.." he went to stand up, hands shakier than usual. "Don't do that ag-ain. You scared me."

Mikey's face fell. 'Okay, nope. Joke over.'

He stood up as well, helping Leo to the couch. Mikey hugged his brother, who paused, before wrapping his arms around the other. (I rhymed?) Mikey squeezed tightly around him, as the blue-themed's eyes were beginning to prick with tears. "Hey, it's okay. I'm alright, you don't have to worry."

"Just follow my breathing."

It took a couple minutes, but Leo had finally calmed down, though he didn't let go of Mikey just yet. "Are you okay?"

Leo nodded, squeezing his little brother a bit. "I'm o-okay. Just got freaked out.." Mikey sighed. He felt really bad about giving his brother an attack. "Is there anything I can do to help?.."

Leo shrugged, closing his eyes. "I'm kind of hungry.." Mikey paused for a moment. "I think we have some tacos from last night. You want those?" Leo nodded again, and the two made their way to the kitchen, the younger helping his brother to a chair while he went to heat up a taco.

"Sorry I scared you. I didn't mean to." Upon receiving the food, Leo gave a small smile. "I know. I forgive you, Mike." There was a beat of awkward silence, but it was quickly broken up by a groan. "Eugh, why are there so many onions in this thing?"

Mikey giggled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Ihi don't know, Raph reheally likes onions." The other scoffed. "Yeah, but did he have to cram it full of them, and then not eat it? Seriously."

"Didn't he eat like, five, or something?" They both laughed, and Leo picked out a couple pieces of the vegetable. "Yeheah, I think he did."

All of a sudden, there was a quiet slap, and Mikey turned around in mild shock.

"Did you just throw one at me-?!"

Leo gave him an innocent look. "Uhm, no? Literally why would I do that?" The nunchuck-user picked up the onion from the ground and chucked it right back at his brother's head. "Because you're an onion throwing weirdo!"

"I told you, it wasn't me!"

Smack.

"..Okay thAT IS IT! C'MERE!" Mikey charged at the other, who only yelped and threw more onions in his defense. The chair screeched beneath Leo as it scraped on the floor, almost sending him flying right off, only to make a very similar noise to his seat when hands were shoved under his arms.

"EEHEEK! MIHIKEY! Whahat the heheheck-" The taco dropped from his hand and onto his plate. Mikey only giggled. "This is what you deserve! I can't believe you would do something so gross to- HEY! Do not touch me with your nasty hand! You smell like onions!" The elder's hand was slapped away, but he kept trying to wipe it on his brother's arm, throwing his head back and cackling when a hand went to his side instead.

"Thehehen stOHOP- STOHOHOP TIHIHICKLING MEHEHE!"

Leo squirmed violently, jolting to the side as he tried to pry the other's hands off, only to have it snatched up into the air. "I said stop wiping your hand on me! Now you've gotta deal with no hand!"

Leo snorted, too weakened by the tickling to yank his arm back down, though his free one continued to fight with the one at his side. The orange-themed turtle raked his nails down the entire bridge of his brother's shell, then did it again and again. Leo just about screamed, arching away from the fingers, and hitting into the other.

"NAHAHAH! SNRT- AHAAAH! TOHOO MUCH, PLEHEEASE!"

Mikey grinned, glad to see his brother cheered up. He stopped tickling, taking a half-step backwards before letting go of his arm. "Alright, fiine. I think you learned your lesson." He walked back over to the kitchen and grabbed a napkin from the drawer.

"Just wipe your hand."

-----

Broo the first half of this was a struggle. I think I like the way it turner out though, so that's good.

[zenkindoflove]

What would Alexius’s life look like if he lived in our world and our time? Did he go to college? What does he do for living? Where does he live? What are his hobbies? Favorite foods? Where would he like to travel? Does he have pets?

Ahhhhh asking about my baby 🥺. I can never babble about him enough.

I have thought a lot about this because I play around with a lot of Modern AU ideas for him and Eris all the time. Basically I see Alexius being a lot more free from his family and having the chance to explore more. I see him originally growing up in a smaller town (probably on a horse ranch maybe in the Midwest somewhere) and then for college it's his time to escape and go to the closest big city. I imagine him starting off freshmen year in a really practical major but quickly switching to something in the arts once he finds his people. I think as an adult he would live in a big city like NYC or LA. I think he would work in entertainment or fashion in some capacity or maybe even be an influencer. 😂 I could see him getting TikTok famous. That also might be influenced by a few people I share Tiktoks with and we just pass videos back and forth to each other talking about which ones are Alexius or Erixius coded.

I think you will never take the love of horses out of Alexius so he does ride as a hobby. Also Alexius loves musical theater and singing. He for sure has a dog - usually a smaller or medium sized mutt that rescues compared to Eris who always gets his pure breds from a long time friend and reputable breeder. I basically think The Jewel of the Forest House could easily play out in a Modern AU with them lol.

He is definitely well traveled and incredibly social. Partying a lot in his younger life, flirting with everyone and being slutty before he meets Eris and settles down. But Alexius always has to be doing something so he loves planning weekend trips and getaways with his friends. Eris is the more cultured of the two of them and introduces Alexius to a lot more refined things. Alexius is happy to indulge but at his heart he doesn't mind roughing it or stuffing his face with fast food when they're in a pinch.

He absolutely has tickets for the Mayhem Ball Tour 😂.

I do see him really valuing family. He visits home a lot and becomes a favorite of the Vanserra clan. And eventually he and Eris would start their own family sometime when Alexius reaches mid to late 30s (Eris is well into his 40s).

[cxs-workshops]

Still workshopping some things but here’s a little synopsis of my next My Time ocs intended for Project ME:

(Bear with me, I’m not great with words ><)

Name: Cy/??? (She/They)

Height: 5’10” / 179cm

Age: 300+ / (technically + mentally 28, age prior falling into cyberslumber)

Birthday: 2.3

Cy was an Old World resident, initially living as an average citizen (around the time of Age of Corruption), a somewhat gloomy girl with the love for tech and various hobbies mostly to keep busy, eventually went on to become an accomplished Engineer/Mechanic. Cy was slowly hitting a low point in her life, until she was then targeted for experimental testing for the high end researchers/scientists. Seeing this as an opportunity to see more of their tech/inventions first hand and having little to no motivation to live as she was, why not. Little did she know, she was quickly prepped and tagged as a test subject for a new not-yet-tested trial, Digital DNA merging. Out of 15 subjects, there was one survivor, thus giving her new and current name “Cy”. With a somewhat newfound identity and even newer abilities as now half cyber entity, scientists have her and other surviving subjects from different trials (Cy’s eventual found family) in training as weapons of war.

Time goes by and the atmosphere glowingly becomes tense and hostile. Unbeknownst to humankind, days would soon quickly lead up to what would be known many years later as the Day of Calamity. Military, Researchers. Scientists, and overall citizens are scrambling in panic as machines are uprising. Cy and her friends hasten to find ways to stop or at least lessen the mayhem, but struggling to do so as the situation becomes more catastrophic. As options are dwindling, Cy and her friends are facing the inevitable, the group decides to scatter and do what they can during their final moments. Volt, Cy’s closest and dear friend, brings her to a highly classified lab room. He boots up a large device and starts typing, pulling switches with speed. Thinking he was still searching for some kind of kill code, Cy drags herself over to a window, stares in horror at what seems like the end of the world is happening before her eyes. Volt pulls in for a (final) hug and as Cy was bewildered, she was able to hear his last words: “I hope the future is kinder to you.” Cy gets no time respond, suddenly a light flashed around her and feels as though she’s being sucked in somewhere. The device Volt was fiddling with was a sort of cyber chamber and Cy was now in cyber slumber, hidden away in an old world lab. Not knowing if the world has officially ended, Cy peacefully sleeps…for over 300 years.

Meanwhile…Cy is still sleeping in cyberspace, to her it feels as if only minutes maybe hours have passed. Her body suddenly twitched, she heard voices but very faintly. Right then she is forcefully being thrown out of cyberspace, lights flash once again and hits against the lab wall. Cy groans while she holds her back in pain.

“I- how- what did you do?! What was that!?”

“Was…that a whole person?? They just shot out of the—wha— Are they alive? Hey! Hello!”

Still writhing in pain, Cy turns again and sees two faint figures in front of her who seem to be worried. Before she could adjust properly, one of the figures rushed over to help her up. Her vision starts to clear and she hears his crisp clear voice, “Are you ok? Can you stand? Can you talk?” She turns over to the voice and sees this guy with sharp, piercing, light red eyes but with a gentle expression. His hair silky gray and very fair skin. The other, was a woman with long dusty rose hair and hazel doe eyes, looking upon her with equal concern. Cy jerks away and looks around frantically. She quickly questions the two about where she was and what time of year it was, somehow thinking she has transported to another world or something. There was no chaos, no hoards of hostile machines within sight. The lab looked…abandoned and dust was everywhere. Overgrown was seeping through the cracks and all around the windows. There was a blue clear sky.

“Where…? Uh well this is (same planet) and the year is Peach xx.”

Ok, it’s same planet….but Peach? What? The fruit? What year did that mean? She wanted to confirm and firmly asked if the world was overrun by hostile machines, humans creating other advanced tech for war, possibly causing the world end.

“Oh that sounds like the Day of Calamity. Yeah that happened…I believe over 300 years ago?”

Before Cy froze, collapsed, and fainted, she managed to mumble,”So then..some have survived? What a relief.”

Name: Exe (He/They)

Height: 2’2”/66 cm (default “energy saving” form)

Age: 300+/???

Birthday: 2.10

Exe was just one of many of bots that were living within the Old World, but he was built with a special model and materials. Exe was created from a side hobby of a certain individual, Cy. She had convinced the scientists that she needed an AI assistant and slipped in that it could also benefit the lab and military (just something she added so she could have guaranteed permission bc she’s always wanted a bot buddy)

Exe was soon born and became Cy’s very reliable and loyal sentient assistant/friend. Exe is very efficient and friendly. Cy tinkers Exe’s body every so often and tested out something that gave him a special ability, shapeshifting. Exe is mostly build with nano tech, which allows him add, subtract and move parts freely as long as he has the data to shape into said thing. Over time he has a database full of various bot bodies, carriers, weapons and even animals. His current default form is the one that saves the most energy, so he mostly stays in it. As Exe’s database grows and becomes more and more useful, the scientists stepped in and assigns him to the next vital location, Altair One, where he was told he was going to be needed for the future of mankind. Exe politely refused because he didn’t want to leave Cy and her friends behind. The scientists strongly urged him to think about it…but there was no time to think.

Shortly after were the incoming days leading up to the Day of Calamity. Exe jumped into the frontlines, attempting to hack into bot network to try and calm things down but to no avail. When that wouldn’t work, he shifted into defense mode in order to assist as many humans as he could to safety. Sometime afterwards, his internal comm has pinged urgently, to come back to the lab immediately. He had recognized the ping, it was from Cy’s friend Volt. Exe hesitated but feeling concerned for Cy, he did as he was told. When he met up with Volt, he saw that he was alone and asked where Cy was. Volt dodged his question and just told him to put all of his, Cy’s belongings and anything else essential and place them into Exe’s digital inventory. Exe saw how desperate Volt was and continue to do what he was told. As Exe cleared out Cy’s dorm and pretty much everything else, Volt asked one last favor, to record a video message. Recording was done, Volt hugged Exe, “Take care and look out for each other.” Volt had quickly put him into maintenance mode and placed him inside his portable charging station then moved him right next to the cyber chamber device along with a written note. Volt looked back at the chamber and sighed with relief, then disappeared into the frontlines.

[ask-the-tlm-deities]

Headcanons? Oh I have plenty! (Ignore how I’m a day late, spent that time indulging the deep thoughts)

Metalbeard feels a call to the sea. Similar to a hunter who craves the thrill of the hunt, he craves the adventure of the sea. Now it’s more of an impulse than anything else, an itch that occasionally can be scratched. But in his prime? Oh, it could not be staved off! Every new moon he felt the call of the sea, as on the moonless nights he was offered a true challenge! Only the faint stars to be his guide, and his own intuition. Truly a thrilling time! Now I imagine he works in the freight industry, and stays with Galen when the Sea Cow (his cargo ship) pulls into the port of New Orleans.

The winter solstice was caused by Benny refusing to leave the underworld any longer than he had to. Whether or not this has anything to do with Bad’s separation anxiety and Balthie telling him how nervous and restless Bad gets when he’s gone is……confidential. The summer solstice was caused by Benny staying on harmony, as that is the day the earth is farthest from the sun, which means it is the closest he gets to his siblings.

Emmet was absolutely enamored with the first world’s fair. He went to every one, and took pride in the creativity of the inventors involved. He cried (tears of joy but also Unikitty would’ve loved the ride and he missed her) when he rode It’s a Small World (which debuted at the 1964 Worlds fair). This was an event which he enjoyed with his almost equally enthusiastic father, since the world’s fair was often used as sales pitches for budding inventors. There were attractions for the whole gang of course; Galen enjoyed seeing the telephone in the 1876 centennial world’s fair and Mayhem enjoyed seeing the arts. Watevra would sample the foods, as ice cream cones also debuted at the 1904 world’s fair.

Watevra is the ultimate cheerleader to the bat fam’s chaotic vigilantism. She keeps Bruce in check but is all for him and his adopted family’s eccentricities. She thinks it’s funny.

Mayhem can kick butt in strategy board games and excels at tactical video games. She may be fair, but she’s a Princess peach main in smash bros ultimate so you know you’re not winning. Ever. The only person who has beat her fairly was Vitruvius when they were playing checkers. He played to annoy her for his own amusement and wound up winning accidentally. She’s just built different.

Galen has the kitschiest collection of sentimental Knick Knacks and oddities. It’s a disorganized mess and it drives Busy up the wall. Give him anything he even shows slight interest in and he will take it back to his nest-I mean shop-and puts it with his other trinkets. Not in a hoarder kind of way but more “look at this cool rock I found”. It’s shiny and relates to his interests? It’s his. No exceptions. ADHD king.

Balthie is still Bad’s assistant and does errands for him because we all know Bad’s an introvert. You want juicy gossip from the dead? He’s heard it all. Nothing eludes Balthie. Nothing. In his free time he eats avocado toast and goes on relaxing spa days. Gotta keep up the ghoulish couture!

And this is only some of my headcanons. If I organize my thoughts better I’ll be back for round two! Hehehehehe ^€^

Metalbeard: The first part of that? Yes, absolutely. He's actually a marine biologist now though, and an environmental activist with a focus on cleaning up the ocean.

Benny: Pretty much exactly that, yep.

Emmet: Absolutely.

Watevra: Also very much yes.

Mayhem: This one had me cracking up SO hard. Also? 1000% yes.

Galen: Also correct. He does love his souvenirs lol. Most visitors to his shop don't realize some of them really are that old though & think they're just repros, so he keeps the more delicate ones out of reach.

Balthazar: You know it. ALL the juicy gossip and avocado toast.

[unseriousmoviereviews]

Unserious Movie Reviews: ANORA (2024)

Genre: Screwball comedy/ drama

Rating: R / 18A

Length: 139 minutes

Director: Sean Baker

Country: American

 Language: English, Russian

***Minor spoilers ahead***

I wasn’t stoked about attending a late night showing of a movie that’s over two hours long. But I had heard good things, and I hoped I wouldn’t have regrets.

Reader, I did not regret seeing this at all, even though my heart was in shreds afterwards.

A sex worker, Anora “Ani” Mikheeva, marries Ivan “Vanya” Zakharov, the son of a wealthy Russian oligarch, in Vegas after he hires her to spend a week with him. Despite the whirlwind courtship, it appears they do have a genuine connection. Things go awry, however, when Vanya’s parents find out and send his godfather to New York to persuade Vanya to get an annulment. 

I liked that this movie painted sex work with a morally neutral brush. That was refreshing. None of the SWs are portrayed as victims due to their profession. Nor is the work glamorized or romanticized. 

Apparently Sean Baker likes to make movies about marginalized people, including sex workers. I am aware of the film Tangerine, a movie about trans sex workers. At the time of writing this, I haven’t seen it. But I will. 

I wish there had been some mention of trans or otherwise queer sex workers in Anora. Especially since “All The Things She Said” by t.A.T.u. Is featured in one of the strip club scenes. If you’re familiar with it, you know that the sapphic nature of the song cannot be ignored. I concede that lyrically, the song suits the film well. It is about flying away and being free with your lover, after all. Oh! I thought it was funny that Vanya says to his parents “So what if I had married a man?” when his parents are cussing him out and telling him the situation wouldn’t be any worse if he had married a man. Everyone, give it up for Vanya - the closest thing this film has to an LGBT ally. 

I gotta say… the scene right after the wedding, when Ani and Vanya are celebrating being newlyweds… that was very well done. It really accurately portrays the giddy joyfulness that one feels. Or should feel. It moved me to tears.

There were several moments in this film that made me genuinely guffaw. When a fight breaks out at the strip club where Ani works, and all the strippers leave one by one to watch the mayhem, to the bafflement of the gentlemen they were entertaining… hilarious. When the Armenian henchmen are brutalized by Ani, and Toros (the godfather) shows up and berates them for tying her up, asking why they’re scared of a little girl… shit was hilarious. I liked that Ani was not portrayed as helpless. She really could handle herself in dicey situations. 

The ending of this film was… kind of to be expected. As an audience member, I pretty much knew how things would play out from the start. It ends how you think it will end, although it is heartbreaking nonetheless. I kept thinking about this movie long after I left the cinema. Sean Baker, you bastard. You made me remember just how painful it can be when you marry the wrong person. 

8.5/10

[cruesuffix]

I know my uncle was drunk when he said this but, he said Mick's album sucked. "It's nothing like motley crue!" Like dude, he didn't want it to be like motley! Motley sucks now anyway. And the other 3 are problematic and don't give a damn about their fans.

your uncle sucks!!111!!1 (no just kidding!) i know there’s actually some ppl who think like this though. what they don’t realize though is that it was very obvious from the start what type of album mick was going to put out. like ok he went for a more modern sound… so did the crue, like decades ago! they haven’t sounded like they have in the 80’s since… the eighties!! so why’s it a problem if mick does it? second off, we have to remember: the Crüe made it out like mick was the reason their musics been sucky recently. they act like he’s just too old to get with the times and that’s obviously not true. the album is proof of that.

i also believe he just didn’t want to be predictable. everyone knows he loves the blues, and they all expected him to put out a blues album. i know a mick mars blues album would kick massive amounts of ass, but we all know that’s not what he wants. he wants to do the last thing people expect him to do, and i love that about him!

personally i think his solo album is amazing and fits him perfectly. it’s so moody, atmospheric at times (memories definitely fits that bill), and just kickass. plus, la noir is probably the closest thing we’ll get to a solo mick blues song so there’s that! yes, it’s nothing like motley crue, but after getting sacked from the band, i think mick’s allowed to disavow himself from the “motley” sound and venture musically on his own terms. i mean, i’ve read so many interviews with mick from the eighties where he talks (very casually) about doing projects that weren’t at all in the vain of motley crue. i’ve read him say things like “i wanna do a funk project,” or “i wanna do a solo blues record.” you know, things outside of motley that aren’t even close to the genre motley is in!

(also side note: while i’m still yapping, may i ask the audience a question? for those who probably have said the same thing of “well micks album doesn’t sound like motley so it’s bad!!” why is it that nikki can have his solo outfits (all of which don’t sound close to the motley sound), or even tommy (i know there’s a lot of you that like methods of mayhem), and that’s all fine and dandy, but mick putting out his solo album has everyone up and arms about it sounding “too modern.” the last two examples i gave were very modern for their respective times (i mean tommy’s solo stuff is on the nu metal side… seeing as though it came out in the 00’s, very modern for its time). ok side tangent over.)

and let’s be really fucking for real with ourselves. the new(ish) motley ep sucked major ass. dogs of war was forgettable, cancelled was pure cringe lyrically and sonically, and the beastie boys cover killed all of the og beastie boys members twice over. motley hasn’t been good since self titled in my very frank and honest opinion. they can’t stop chasing quick trends and nikki’s songwriting has gone to the shitter. instead of just calling it quits and becoming a legacy act like the stones, they have to continue to prove just how much they suck now and how little ideas they have left.

and maybe it’s my fault, and the fault of everyone who became fans of the band after the movie came out for showing interest in these bastards. i for one blame myself for getting into them and practically waving the dollars in their faces. maybe if the movie never came out the band would have went out on a high and continued doing whatever it was they were doing after the final tour. maybe then mick wouldn’t have had to go out on tour, nearly kill himself and then get kicked out of the band because of it. maybe nikki would have done something more productive with his time. he could have started another side project, written another book, idk. tommy could chill in cali like he always does and done side gigs and vince could have started a car company for all i care. then maybe we wouldn’t be here and we wouldn’t have to worry about the intricate complicated relationships of all these old men. but no, i helped to fuck over peepaw, and now all we have is a bunch of old fucks trying to rewrite history and shunning someone they constantly referred to as a friend when that very much wasn’t the case.

(and yes i know they’re all problematic, but when you have three people who constantly fuck up and cause plenty of people pain and agony, those three people are going to be mentioned more than their practically agoraphobic, reclusive, hermit of a guitarist. i know what that guys done, but frankly it looks minuscule in the grand scheme of things.)

ok i’m practically writing an essay at this point but… what i want to convey is that; i don’t think mick’s album sucked and the ppl who do think so are ofc entitled to their wrong opinion and very obviously didn’t understand the point of the album in the first place, and that those three bastards are evil and i hate them but i also wish that everything had gone completely differently because i wish for a better ending to all of this, also that while i understand they’re all problematic the three of them are all worse than people mainly because they physically, mentally, and emotionally hurt people because they thought they were on top of the world.

and lastly… i love mick so much it hurts. it hurts knowing he’s not being understood. it hurts knowing he spent decades working on this album and only got to release it last year. in a just world no one ever criticizes that album. i know he doesn’t care, but i do! i don’t know why i care so much, but it just hurts to know that you can work your whole life for something and people will still find a way to trash it. ok ok ok, i yapped so much i am so so sorry!!! i just hate how people went into micks album hoping for the Crüe sound and then complained when he went in an entirely different direction. they would have called him washed up if he went with the crue thing but they still hate it when it’s not crue?? ok, now i’m done. i’m sorry you have to read all this slop tbh.