#the church of the starry children

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

I love how the Metzgers are not the good guys. In a more simple story, the characters going up against the deeply evil Church of the Starry Children and by extension the Lords in Black would be a force of good. Flawed, perhaps, but ultimately characters you root for.

But Hatchetfield is far more complex. The Metzgers, and possibly the Hatchet Men overall, are prejudiced, ignorant about much of the world, and have a history of burying innocent children alive for the simple crime of being different. One of their defining credos is literally "the innocent must suffer."

It's just so much more interesting, and fitting for a universe of tragedy in which most of the musical installments conclude with the end of the world.

(watching Perky's Buds with @blinkysrewatchparty right now!)

[itsdefinitely]

Consider this for LiB dating sim story:

The Lords of Black are forced by a higher being (likely their parent) to all find a bride, but luckily for them, the starry children already had them covered. . .

Offering up the MC as a bride, it's their job to cater to their every need

i read this ask and then thought about costuming for one (1) second before blacking out and making this

so um. now i've been stewing in my thoughts for a few hours

[kairithemang0]

Ok ok so there's this wikipedia list of every fandom and the name for it's fandom

List of fandom names - Wikipedia

It's honestly a fun list to just read through but that's not the point

The point is that someone should edit this list and we should make the official name of the Hatchetfield fandom specifically "The Church of the Starry Children" or just "The Starry Children". It's the name of the Waylons Cult for the Lords in Black, and literally just means Starkid when you think about it. Anyways I think it's an awesome fan name, thank you for coming to my ted spankoffski talk

[ace7librarian]

Idea for a nightmare time story: one of those tiktok channels of "clean this old house with me" except it's a hunted house in hatchetfield.

"we found these super old knives, brad thinks they look a little bit like sacrificial daggers but I think that if we clean them a little they can be usable"

"this rug is suuuuper hard to clean, for something reason it's full of blue goo, but it is soooo satisfying"

[whyisstarkidfollowingmeshoo]

Ideas for Hatchetfield full-length musicals that have the other three LIBs as the main villain

LOL Tinky and Ted musical. Sounds scary and kinda kinky? in a way. lol I blame the fans that always drawing fan art that Tinky is obsessed with the Spankoffskis i mean yeah I guess it's true. what a weird lord in black. I bet his big brother is always wondering why his lil bro is obsessed with this one Hatchetfield citizen. Wiggly: He's small fry!

Blinky is a perv. Definitely, a musical where Bill is the main character. After Blinky's World, Bill made a nemesis out of Blinky and the monster is out for revenge and will kidnap Alice for who knows what. Ewww.

Nibbly just wants to eat. A musical about the Church of the Starry Children so we have Mr. Murray in one of the characters. Who knows who are part of the cult, definitely the upper echelon of Hatchetfield (Mr. Davidson, the CEO of CCRP, those rich people betting on the kids in Yellow Jacket, Ms Young) what about they look for the next worthy and sacrificial lamb to Nibbly since Nibbly is getting tired of just eating beauty queens (they got no fat in them!!)

[wigglys-dikrats]

wait so who are the waylons because I genuinely have no clue

mathias and agatha waylon were two of the first followers of the lords in black in hatchetfield

they founded the church of the starry children, as well as built the town’s most important landmarks, revealed to be black altars where rituals written in the black book could be performed: the starlight theatre; the gazette, which would one day become CCRP; the old mill, now lakeside mall; the old schoolhouse, now hatchetfield high; and waylon hall, their home on which they put a spell so anyone who dies there doesn’t truly die

the waylons had the town in a chokehold for 150 years, until the people of hatchetfield (the hatchetmen, aka the ancestors of the metzgers we meet in perky’s buds) got sick of the waylons and their cult and burst through the doors of waylon hall and hacked them all to bits with hatchets

[church-of-the-starry-children]

Welcome.

This is the Tumblr blog for the Church of the Starry Children. Church updates, rituals, and more will be posted here.

[wardback]

I keep forgetting i got bored and drew one of blinky's eyes on my hand and i keep jump scaring myself by looking down

One Thousand Eyes are watching

[crapload-of-crafts]

The complete Hatchetfield-verse poster set

All of these are up on my Redbubble if you would like to buy a sticker or poster of these designs!!!

[gone-to-oregone]

I reeeeaaaally hope my theory about Miss Holloway being Agatha Waylon/being connected to The Church of the Starry Children or the Waylon’s themselves is true, at least in some form

Kinda random theory: I think we're probably gonna see the Waylons at some point, given the fact they died in their house and "nothing ever truly dies at Waylon Place".

Also I really hope we see more of Max Jagerman man!! He's such a great villain character.

It'd probably be in nightmare time if these did come true

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

Theory: Hannah's Birth Led to Steph's Mom Dying

Okay, this is a bit of a wild journey, but I promise it's at least somewhat thought-out if you're willing to bear with me for a bit. (Theory under the cut!)

I'm endlessly fascinated by the absence of the Church of the Starry Children (not a random opener, I promise). We're told multiple that times that "nothing that dies in Waylon Hall ever truly dies," and we learn that the Waylons put a spell in place to essentially resurrect anyone killed on the house's property. We also learn that the Waylons and their followers all died in the house in 1979. So... where are they? Max was a singular teenager, and within two weeks he had the entirety of Hatchetfield whipped into a panicked frenzy. Surely an entire cult of evil zealots brought back from the dead and imbued with insatiable bloodlust would be even more noticeable. At the very least, their Number 1 Fan Roman and remaining widow Sheila would know that they were still out there, which is clearly not the case. So it's pretty undeniable that, despite their safety-measures, the Waylons and their followers are no longer around.

There are multiple potential reasons for this. The Hatchetmen have experience with such people. Perhaps they got around the spell by taking the Cult's bodies to the Witchwood and burying them there, though that doesn't seem hugely likely. Or maybe Miss Holloway took care of the Waylons back in the 80s. That timeline arguably kinda' sorta' works--Miss Holloway gave up her life as a pop star to become an immortal witch just a handful of years after the Waylons' deaths.

But then we have Solomon in Nerdy Prudes Must Die, who has the Black Book, but says that he will never touch it "ever again." This statement heavily implies that Solomon once summoned the Lords in Black, and the absence of Steph's mother implies that she was the price he paid. (Nick and Matt also give A LOT of credence to that theory in the Hatchetfield Halloween livestream.) Solomon also knows A LOT about Max, the spell that created him, and how to put an end to it. And sure, this could be second-hand knowledge passed down from previous mayors or Miss Holloway. But what if it's not? What if, in an eerie foreshadowing of his own daughter's future actions, Solomon Lauter was the one to summon the Lords in the Black and sacrifice the love of his life to stop the resurrected Waylons?

There's an obvious problem with this theory--the timeline. Judging by Max, it's likely that a whole cult of monstrous and monstrously powerful ghosts on the loose for 25 years would have been Apocalyptic long before the timelines had the chance to shatter.

So what if they weren't around? What if the Waylons' spell was not automatically triggered upon their deaths, but instead required activation? Perhaps, in their cult-y arrogance, Mathias and Agatha never imagined that every single one of their followers would be wiped out alongside them. Maybe the Starry Children were supposed to return to the Hall upon the Waylons' deaths and activate the magic. With the Cult massacred, there was no one left with the knowledge to complete the ritual and resurrect the dead, leaving them in limbo.

And then Hannah enters the scene, born the same year that Solomon performs his Summoning. We know from Wilbur that Hannah is basically a nuclear power plant. What if her birth, together with the massive burst of energy as Lex activated her powers to save her sister, (and also maybe PEIP's portal playing whatever role it played,) was enough to do for the Waylons as Hannah would later do for Willabella Muckwab? What if Hannah's nuclear battery existence automatically served to complete the Waylons' spell, activate the house (leaving it primed for Max's return from the grave), and release the Waylons onto the unsuspecting town? Leaving Solomon, town Mayor, sentinel at the gates of hell, to work alongside Miss Holloway and her Black Book, discover the truth of the Waylons, and summon the Lords in Black for help. And maybe Miss Holloway, still in the middle of her own deal, was unable to make another, separate one, leaving Solomon to give up what he treasured most...and murder Steph's mother.

(And maybe the little girl she left behind is nothing but a reminder of his loss and his guilt.)

(Update: lmao @thatdelusionalnerd just described this as "far-fetched but still makes quite a bit of sense" and I just wanted to acknowledge that because I feel like that's my sweet spot with Hatchetfield theories. Arguments that are absolutely bananas and almost definitely not true, but to my own consternation kinda' work nonetheless.)

[itsdefinitely]

Hey!!! I love your art sm!!!!!

I was wondering: can you draw Ted being possessed by Tinky or Bill being possessed by Blinky (or both)?

Have a great day!!!!!!!

normal guys in normal scenarios

also

[cherry-flavored-sigh]

eldritch horrors are so dreamy <33333333 😍😍😍

[the-implications]

i wish.... not a bad idea tho it should be a thing

bored in church so i did a doodle of the sillies

[ace7librarian]

Thinking about how the only two people that say "daaaaady" like that are Sherman, and Bob Metzger, the guy who most certainly killed Sherman's dad. Does Sherman remember voices he heard when he was just a few months old? This is horrifying and very sad.

Edit: @deathbutwithfuzzyanimals pointed out that Grace says that too. Maybe it's because they're unhinged, maybe it's an overbearing parent theme, I just think it's cool. Also I need Grace and Sherman to meet.

[its-short-for-jackalope]

the hilarious and startling contrast between the summoning of the Lords w/ the Black Book and the Lords' actual arrival is my favorite thing

like the LiB are all such feral chaotic bastards, how much do you think the Church of the Starry Children s t r u g g l e d with trying to seem all cool and serious and dark and cult-y when the Lords they worship insist on being holographic, technicolor nightmares with zero chill?

i hope they struggled a lot 🥰 like I hope they struggled sooo much 🥰 just constantly 🥰

edit: forgot that it's church not cult lol, my b.