#the choices made by the performers in what relates to it drive me crazy

[sisterdivinium]

I know I've already spoken a lot after @fulcrum-art-fox 's post (and by going on a tangent, too, I'm still sorry for that), but my mind remains stuck on Jillian (oops!) so here goes a bit more chaotic blabbering to go with what came earlier.

See, yes, there's a parallel between Jillian and the Holy Mother (and I had already touched upon it here and here as well), but what made me stop and think a little more was a passage I read recently in the Jansons' The picture history of painting:

"The Byzantine artist did not think of the Madonna as being at all like an ordinary, human mother. To him she was the Queen of Heaven, far removed from everyday life and beautiful beyond any man's imagination. And he has painted her the way he felt about her: not as a woman of flesh and blood but an ideal figure bathed in the golden light of heaven."

What stands out to me here is less the actual piece being examined (this, if you're curious) but the idea of being removed from everyday life, of being distant from the common people, being an ideal figure who isn't made of flesh and blood.

That's exactly what Jillian more or less sets out to do in s1 through the image she presents to the world.

But, contrary to the Madonna being painted by an artist following what the latter might feel about her, Jillian, the budding demiurge, creates this image for herself. The whites, the blue, the theatre of it all wouldn't be lost on a woman as intelligent as she is; her pregnancy was "a medical marvel", now she opens up the "world's first quantum portal"... Ava says doctor Salvius creates superpowers on the daily, but these feats could be seen as miracles... No wonder cardinal Duretti is invited to witness Jillian's triumph.

As this miracle-maker, this special specimen above the rest of humanity, there must be a (fabricated) distance in her dealings with people. She singles herself out when presenting her creation or revealing the footage of Beatrice destroying her security, she stands out from the crowd more as a pale, fearsome marble statue than as a normal human woman.

And, so distanced from others, she barely ever touches anyone else (barring Michael, of course) apart from a very light, almost reluctant tap to a subordinate's shoulder or a grip on Ava that is less about Ava herself and more about what advantages connecting her to the ark might ultimately present. Her touching Lilith for her temperature is likewise less about Lilith's well-being and more about Jillian's own plans for her, a touch with underlying, secret intent.

It's almost as if touch is repulsive to her regarding these other persons, a risk to her carefully curated image, whereas her contact with Michael is affectionate and genuine, unrestrained by the "sainthood" of the genius given how it happens far from the public eye, from anyone she might want/need to impress, amaze or enthrall.

I had talked about the femininity of s1 Jillian as it helps her pull on a show, but there's something about her specific brand of it that is icy, that pushes people away. All that white, that immaculate appearance as if to dare others to try soiling it; where the Virgin Mary is a loving mother to be adored, Jillian Salvius concocts the persona of a terrifying creature not to be provoked, bathed not "in the golden light of heaven" but in the blue light of relentless scientific ambition.

We already know this facade comes crumbling down by s2, but what's interesting is that, as @fulcrum-art-fox's post points out, the consequences of this comparison to the Holy Mother persist. Jillian is no longer bedecked in blue and white, but she pays the price paid by Mary, unable to take action in order to protect her son from what befalls him.

Suddenly, this woman who constructed her own intangibility, her own sort of "divinity" by not being available to be touched by others, finds herself in isolation in a way she had not predicted -- set apart even when she might not want to be, kept away from her own son and from those others which at first she had so carefully kept at bay.

Which again might inspire us to wonder whether any of this is punishment for her presumption. Did she want to create miracles, stand above the lot of common mortals? Well, here are the consequences: you do not play at being the holy mother without the suffering that comes with it.

Maybe it's the blasphemy of it -- or maybe it's just the result of a very human arrogance which she has every opportunity to regret.

I had mentioned before how all of these ties between Jillian and the Virgin actually enforce themes of Michael standing for a redeemer -- the story of Mary is pretty much the story of Jesus. However, the story of Jillian can hardly be expected to be the story of Michael alone in a show that is so thoughtful regarding its female characters, so the future of WN must have something intriguing in store for her. If her role as Michael's mother has ended, her newfound connection to the OCS surely points at a new path for doctor Salvius.

Her relationship to touch alone is already different; if season one saw her wary of it, even protected from it, season two has her actually be touched by someone else, breaking through her "godly" defences. Lilith threatens her, Kristian appeals to her in what is a repulsive action, asking her to overlook what was done to herself and to her son in favour of Adriel's so-called revelations. Whatever walls she had built around herself are revealed as the illusions they truly are as they no longer shield her from others.

But there are two other instances of touch we can't ignore, moments that draw her into something different; not aggression, not cynical beseeching, but something else: we are given a desperation on Jillian's part and a rare, perhaps much-needed support on Mother Superion's. These are new, authentic moments of connection that also shatter the barriers her previous persona had erected and they hint at the possibility of novel dynamics. Jillian is no longer isolated as per her own design, but approaching someone else, being welcomed in turn, yanked painfully down from her self-created pedestal to walk the Earth as a mortal woman and no longer as a white, unblemished icon.

With Michael gone (if so he remains), Jillian might be freed of the ties to the Virgin -- built through her own efforts -- to be her own woman, surrounded by these others who propose another mode of existing, almost like Ava understood the notion of helping others through the OCS as well. Her role in the story isn't over, cannot be over: who is she when she is not just a mother or just the embodiment of her company? Who is she when participating in community instead of elevated to an artificial position above the rest that endangered her own sense of humanity? Who is she without the myth of her own design?

We eagerly await for how these new developments concerning her unfold...

[spaceorphan18]

have you ever read a detailed post about the glee cast’s singing voices? like all about their technique and stuff? reading your reaction to the ‘vocal coach reacts to glee’ video makes me want to know more!

Hmmmm, not really! Not from a professional vocalist POV, I don’t think.  (That I’m aware of.  This does remind me there was one vocal coach in fandom, and she hated Blaine, and I wasn’t too fond of her, or her analysis, so I won’t point you in that direction.) 

My background is in music, but not in vocal performance.  But I can give you a quick rundown of cast’s musical abilities if you like, though they won’t be huge on the technical side of it.  

ETA: I started this a while ago before I started doing the music retrospective - I’ll probably try to explore a little more as I do those.   If you guys want more conversation about one person in particular, let me know! 

But for now... 

*

Matthew Morrison: Is a classically trained musician with a very good voice.  It’s a shame Will was such a tool, because Matthew Morrison was very talented, had the ability to do a lot of great things with his voice.  People joke about his rapping -- but I think this stemmed from the issue that his background is in musical theater -- which teaches you a cleaner and more traditional way of singing -- opposed to a pop or rap style.  He doesn’t have the grit that rap often has, which makes it a little too much like a Kid’s Bop version of something.  When singing musical theater, though, he really shined. 

A number that showcases ability: Make ‘Um Laugh

A number that isn’t so great: Ice Ice Baby

*

Lea Michele: Lea does have a very good and solid voice.  She’s also been classically trained.  The one drawback is that it hinders her a bit on pop music, she lacks some of the grittiness often needed on a lot of the pop songs.  She also starts to lose some of her classic training as the show goes on (which I think is a shame) so that she can get some of the shine off her voice to make a transition to pop music.  

She has one vocal tick that drives me crazy, though -- she has a tendency to slide into her notes instead of hitting them dead on, which gets worse as the show goes on, and it makes her sound a little screech-y at times.  But for the most part -- she is really good. 

A number that showcases ability: Don’t Rain on My Parade

A number that isn’t so great: Ooops...I Did It Again

*

Amber Riley: The cool thing about Amber is that you get to hear her grow as a musician as the show goes on.  She had already started to get vocal lessons before the show started, but at the beginning, she was still a bit raw and unrefined in her technique.  But you can tell she did practice, and her voice is developed beautifully as the show goes on.  She was one of the best, well rounded vocalists on the show.  She had a good handle on pop and R&B music, but she could sing musical theater rather clearly, too.  She has great breath support - and can belt numbers out while still retaining the quality.  Can’t say enough good thing about Amber’s voice. 

A number that showcases ability: Someday We’ll Be Together

A number that isn’t so great: Sweet Transvestite (It’s not bad - but it’s my least favorite Mercedes solo.) 

*

Cory Monteith: Cory wasn’t a vocalist.  And, to be completely honest, I thought it was some kind of joke when they introduced him as some kind of hidden musical gem when Will hears him singing the showers.  He did really well with classic rock that’s allows not only for a weaker voice - but is often not as technically hard.  And I have to wonder if Cory got lessons, because he did get a lot better as the show went on, and I think his season 4 work is great! 

I will say that sometimes they pushed his voice a little too far.  A lot of times songs were either too high for his range and he often sounded like he was straining.  (The most notable of which is A House is Not a Home - which is far too high for him.)  That said - I think he did reasonably well along side Lea - mostly because often sang pop duets.  

A number that showcases ability: I’ve Gotta Be Me

A number that isn’t so great: Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore

*

Chris Colfer: Chris is such an interesting study due to the uniqueness of his voice.  He’s got a huge range both in terms of genre and literal range of voice.  He can sing quite a few octaves.  He’s got a great, clear sound, too, which is why he’s great with theater numbers.  Interestingly, Chris’s voice did drop over the years, and while I know people love his higher range, he has a gorgeous lower range that wasn’t used as often (and is often my favorite.) 

The one (nitpicky) issue was that Chris’s voice ended up getting pigeon-holed.  I know singing Diva-Broadway songs was his schtick - but it would have been nice to hear him sing a bigger variety of songs.  He wasn’t the strongest on non-ballad pop music, but they also didn’t give him that very often.  

There’s also the fascinating unusualness in that, Chris could really sing duets very well with people -- but in group numbers, his voice sticks out like a sore thumb, and he was often left out of some of the more general songs because of it.  His voice just doesn’t texture very well - which is why I get why they did what they did.  

A number that showcases ability: Being Alive

A number that isn’t so great: I’ll Remember

*

Kevin McHale: I feel like people are often surprised when they sit down and think about it, but Kevin has a great voice.  He has a solid range, and he’s able to do pop music very well (I believe it helps that he was in a professional boy band for years.)  Not sure if people noticed - but he’s often the lead on group numbers that don’t need to be related to specific story or character points.  Which is a bummer for Artie’s story - but if you’re a fan of Kevin’s voice, you get a lot to choose from.  

Kevin was also able to handle a lot of the musical demands that I think some of the other males weren’t? He’s a much better singer than Cory - and could handle leading a full number.  His voice isn’t as unique as Chris’s and can texture really well.  In addition he was fairly versatile.  He might have been the best rapper the show had, lol. 

A number that showcases ability: For Once In My Life

A number that isn’t so great: Addicted to Love (personal taste choice - I just don’t like the song.) 

*

Jenna Ushkowitz: Jenna is another one who is classically trained.  She has a strong, solid voice, which was unfortunately not showcased all that well on the show, and because of that, I’m not sure how she does on a wide variety of music.  I do think she sounds a little generic - but not helping is lack of being featured.  

A number that showcases ability: I Don’t Know How To Love Him

A number that isn’t so great: Gangum Style (She does fine - but the fact that they made her do it in the first place...) 

*

Dianna Agron: The interesting thing about Dianna is that she has a really nice low female voice.  The fact that they never gave her any punk or harder rock was really a shame, because I think she would have done really well with that.  The funny thing is that, more so in the beginning, they show tried to make her sing songs that fit her character - but weren’t necessarily great for her voice.  I feel like it wasn’t until late season 2 did they start really using her voice for the better.  

A number that showcases ability: Never Can Say Goodbye

A number that isn’t so great: It’s A Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World

*

Mark Salling: Mark had a really solid voice - that often lent itself well to folk and acoustic really well.  He was good with softer pop and classic rock, and the show showcased that pretty well.  I think, in general, Mark was a much better vocalist than actor, and the show often picked good music for him to sing - which helped with his character.  I don’t have a whole lot to say, only that I think he was underrated as a vocalist, but I get it - with all the other baggage that comes with talking about Mark. 

A number that showcases ability: No Surrender 

A number that isn’t so great: Fight For Your Right (to Party) (I don’t think it’s bad - I just hate this song.) 

*

Naya Rivera: Naya is a little tricky.  I think she has a good, smoky sound to her voice that makes her excellent at things like pop and R and B.  (Shame she didn’t have a good jazz number to do on the show - she would have been great at that.)  I think she was really versatile, though, and handled her Broadway numbers really well.  I do think she was somewhat pinched and nasal at times - and while I do think this was a stylistic choice, to me it’s not my favorite type of vocal sound.  But I do think she was really good at the numbers she was given, and was one of the most talented female vocalists on the show. 

A number that showcases ability: Back to Black

A number that isn’t so great: Alfie (I think I may dislike the song more than her singing on it.) 

*

Heather Morris: Heather wasn’t a singer, and I do think it showed at times.  She often had to have her voice autotuned more than anyone else on the show.  That said - she did do Britney Spears really well, and I think she deserves credit for that.  

A number that showcases ability: I’m a Slave 4 U

A number that isn’t so great: Dinosaur

*

Chord Overstreet: Chord’s background is in country - and that shows a bit through his singing - he’s got a bit of twang in his voice, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing.  He’s a fun singer.  I don’t think the show knew exactly what to do with him (voice or character) but there’s a lightness to his singing that makes him easily adaptable to pretty much anything you throw at him. 

A number that showcases ability: Red Solo Cup (You think I’m joking - but I think this is the most fun Chord has singing a song.) 

A number that isn’t so great: Girls on Film (I think just by default of me liking everything else better.) 

*

Darren Criss: Ah, Darren, where to even start.  The thing about Darren is that he may not be the strongest singer, his voice is a little wobbly at times, and his range is somewhat limited, but his showmanship is just completely beyond nearly everyone else.  Darren has the unique ability to draw you in with his singing and hold you captive.  There are technically better singers on the show - but Darren just has this amazing ability to really sell a performance.  And I do love his voice, even if there are some limitations to it.  I really could gush about Darren’s performance abilities, but I’ll refrain... 

A number that showcases ability: Teenage Dream (Both Versions) 

A number that isn’t so great: Piano Man (Which isn’t bad - I just think the show had done it better, and it’s a rare time that felt like Darren was kind of phoning it in.) 

*

A quick run down of others, but first a quick aside - as they started adding people in, vocal ability starts being a factor.  I think a lot of the newer characters could sing better than they could act, which was both helpful and a hinderance.  I think we began to get more solid musical numbers as the show went on, but sometimes acting wasn’t always top notch - and across the board, old and new, hitting a combo of acting and singing ability didn’t always happen.  

Harry Shum Jr.: Not really a singer - but the show often played to his strengths, and his few songs played off the fact that he wasn’t a great singer to great aplomb.  

Jane Lynch: Can hold a tune, even if her voice isn’t the best - is really great at musical comedy. 

Jayma Mays: She has more singing ability than the show allowed to showcase, however, she’s another one whose voice was really unique, and doesn’t texture very well.  

Damien McGinty: Is actually a very good singer.  However, he’s very generic, too - which makes him a little on the bland side. 

Sam Larsen: I think he was fine - I don’t think he sang enough on the show for me to make much of an impression one way or the other. 

Alex Newel: Fucking Fantastic! Alex might be one of the strongest vocalists on the show - has great range, energy, and vocal control.  

Melissa Benoist: Her voice tends to lean on the pop-ier side, but it’s a solid voice, and her work on the show was pretty good.  

Jacob Artist: Has a strong voice, and could sing genres that weren’t often featured on the show (like hip-hop and R&B).  

Blake Jenner: His voice is fine, but like Damien McGinty, it’s generic and a little bland. 

Becca Tobin: She has a very quirky voice that brings in a different and unique sound.  They didn’t use her much, though, so it’s hard to comment. 

Noah Guthrie: An amazing singer, has a really unique sound, but is able to do blend in well with others.  

Samantha Ware: Another amazing singer.  She’s in full control and can do really great things with it. 

Billy Lewis Jr: Has a good, solid voice.  Not as strong as Guthrie, or some of the other guys, but he’s a lot of fun to watch. 

Laura Dreyfuss: Like Becca Tobin - has a uniqueness to her vocal quality that makes it stand out a little, but she’s still a solid singer. 

Marshall Williams: His vocal ability is okay.  It’s better than his acting ability.  I’m slightly confused how this dude got cast, tbh.  

[crispychannie]

Daisy

Bang Chan x Fem reader

Warnings : smut, fingering, oral, car sex

Word count : 8.5k

Note : I can’t write without context and buildup, so yeah. This is my v first smut in the entirety of my life, please don’t judge if it’s terrible

Summary : Reader teases Chan during her event practice which turns him on. That’s it. That’s the plot

The song Daisy by Ashnikko inspired me to write this

It was past 5 pm. You were at the university preparing for your cultural event which was in a few days and had told Chan to come pick you up.

You had just finished your group dance practice and now were just messing around in the auditorium. Your friends had decided to play random songs and each one of you, acted like you were performing a concert.

“Ahh Y/N-si, you should perform this one.” Your bestfriend said as she played a song. This song was your favourite, it just made you move your body with no control and you loved it.

The music started. Your friends cheered, while you got yourself in character for the performance.

“You don’t wanna see me bratty, pet the kitty call me catty”

you started rapping along with the lyrics, feeling each and every word of it.

—

It was 5:03 pm and he know he was late to pick Y/N up. He parked in front of the university and tried to find his way to the auditorium. He found someone along the halls and asked them for direction and proceeded to walk towards the auditorium.

He could hear faint music, and someone rapping along to the song. He slightly open the door, and peeped in, a smirk appeared on his face when he saw it was you on stage and to the choice of your song. He opened the door a little bit more and slid himself inside and sat himself in the back seats. He knew if you would know he’s here, you’d either drop the act or just come running towards him. But he wanted to watch.

“I’m crazy but you like that, I bite back.”

You harmonised with the song, while looking at your friend in front of the stage.

“Screw ice, glacier with the blue eyes, I’m terrifying.”

You sang and laughed along with the song.

“She’s so into it.” “You gotta dance bro, you gotta dance.” Your friends said to you.

“Okay okay.” You said.

“I’m no Cinderella but I like the shoes, big glass platforms, bitch I’m choosy”

You rapped as you walked along the stage, till the other side of it, you looked towards the door thinking about how Chan was supposed to come pick you up, when you see a distant figure resting their arms on the seat in their front, looking at you. A smile crept onto your face as you recognised that figure as Chan’s.

“I’m no prey but I am pursued”

You looked at him as you walked to the center of the stage. The fact that you knew he was there, eyes fixated on you, gave you a sudden boost of confidence.

“Bow down and kiss on my ring”

you sang along as you did hand gestures matching the lyrics.

“I’m crazy but you like that, I bite back.”

You sang as you formed a claw with your hand to match with the lyrics. You looked over at Chan, he had moved a few seats closer.

“Daisies on your night stand, never forget it.”

Your hand made its way to your neck, as you looked down and looked up with a smirk.

“I blossom in the moonlight.”

You said as you moved your hand from your neck, to your chest, caressing your breast, to your hips earning cheers from your friends. Making sure Chan would feast his eyes.

The hook was twice and in the second part, you walked up to your girl bestfriend, pulling her real close, and softly grinding on her, your hips barely touching but you knew that was enough.

You couldn’t see his expression in the dark but you knew he was licking his lips.

“La la la, la la la, la la la, I’m terrifying”

you then began to do the dance break step of dance racha from their song wow (yk the one with the body rolls and finger snaps).

“Whohooo!!” Your friends cheered and clapped as you bowed and giggled all shy and said thank you. Chan walked towards the stage clapping, grabbing everyone’s attention.

“Shall we head home?” He asked with a devilish smile.

“Ah. Sure.” You said and bid your goodbyes.

The walk to the car was off topic, nothing related to what he saw back there. But once you sat in the car, and the drive had started, he said -

“That was quite a performance you put up there for everyone.”

“Did you not like it? It was for you.” You said as you innocently bat your eyes at him.

“If it was for me, it should’ve been in the bedroom, not on the stage with other boys drooling over you moving your hips like that” he said as he moved his hand to your thigh, tightly grasping it.

“Someone’s jealous.” You passed a remark. Chan then pulled over in an empty parking lot.

“I thought this could wait till we get home, but I guess not.” He said as he removed his and your seatbelt and jumped over to the backseat.

“Are you serious?” You raised an eyebrow. He pulled you by your hand into his lap with your legs on either side of him.

He kissed you softly at first, but he got hungrier as he deepened the kiss. His hands made way to your ass, squeezing it. He bit your lower lip and sucked on it, turning it into a shade of purple. With his hand on the back of your head, he pulled you closer, and slid his tongue inside, he parted his lips so now you were sucking on his tongue, he let out a soft groan before he started kissing your neck.

His lips travelled from sucking your neck, marking you harshly, to your ear, where he nibbled on your earlobe and giving you a fuzzy feeling in your tummy. He went back to marking you along your neck and collarbone as his hands found their way to your chest. Finding your bra inconvenient, he unclipped it and removed it from underneath your tee. His lips making their way back to yours, he massaged your breasts slowly, palming your nipples to make them erect. He takes your shirt off and pulls your bare body close before resuming to massage your breasts. He then dug his face between your breasts and pressed them before taking one of them in his mouth. He nibs at your nipple at first, giving it tiny licks and takes it in, sucking and biting on it, while his other hand roughly presses your other breast.

A groan escapes your lips. He switched from one side to the other while doing the same. You bit your lip trying to keep it in, but God it felt amazing. He moves his hands back to pressing your breasts while he made eye contact with you. His pupils dilated and filled with hunger and hair a mess.

He slithered his arm around your waist and laid you down on the seat, while slipping his shirt off as he hovered over you, not breaking eye contact. He then started leaving kisses starting from your lips, neck, chest, stomach and stopped above the button of your jeans. He looked at you as he sat between your legs, and waited before he unbuttoned your jeans as you gave him a nod. He threw your jeans in the front.

“My baby’s already wet for me.” He said as he gave kitten licks on the fabric of your panties. You locked your fingers in his hair as the heat between your legs grew.

“Chan...please...” you said, sounding desperate.

“Please what, babygirl?” He asked as he ran his finger in circles over the fabric.

“Make me cum..” you begged.

“You think I’m gonna let you off so easily after that stunt you’ve pulled?” He pushes your panties to the side and stroked your folds with his tongue.

“And what did I tell you? Who am I?”

“Chris.. please...” you moaned as the fire inside you grew, desperately wanting him inside of you.

“Will you behave then angel?” He asked as he rubbed his thumb at the end of your clit.

“Yes..” you breathe out.

“Yes what?” He said as he stopped stimulating you.

“Yes Chris, I’ll behave.”

“Good girl.” He said as he ripped away your panties and pressed his lips to your core, licking and sucking before ramming his tongue inside making you squirm in his mouth. He continued eating you out while he rubbed the upper part of your core with his thumb making you arch your back into his mouth. He held your hips down with one hand as he parted his lips from your clit, while having a string of your juices connected to his lips. He then licked his lips and moved up to kiss you. You could taste your juices in his mouth, he then brought his hand between the both of and between your legs and started rubbing your wet core, making you moan in his mouth.

“Chris...” is all you could say before he inserted his fingers inside of you, hitting every spot perfectly, moaning in his ear while he left hickeys on your neck and collar bone. You soon reached your high and you could feel a knot in your stomach.

“Chris... I need to cum...” you said between pants.

“Cum for me angel.” He whispered in your ear as he placed his mouth at your core, his hands holding your things on his shoulders, swallowing and licking every drop of your juice. Your grip in his hair loosened as you breathed heavily.

“We should do this again.” You said with your eyes half closed.

“Oh, should we?” He said as he kissed your lips giving you a taste of yourself.

“Let’s go home so we can finish this.” You said. He smirked at your words and helped you dress up.

“Let’s go.”

[goldenkamuyhunting]

Tell me if I'm being crazy here but I was just wondering if you feel like the Ogata in the anime is an inaccurate representation of the Ogata we get in the manga? And if you feel the same as me why may that be? I really can't nail it but it's bothering me watching him in it. Like they missed the point of his character.

Well...

...in itself all the characters are inaccurately represented in the anime.

There are some problems that come with the anime adaptation:

- the first is not really a fault of who creates the anime, merely a consequence of the anime being a different medium. As a result some things can’t be delivered in the same way as the manga.

For example this is one of the spread pages in which Noda plays with the contrast between what happens in one half and what happens in the other half.

On one side we’ve Sugimoto and Asirpa eating warm food together, safe and happy, on the other we’ve Ogata being shown alone (although we know there’s people around him) about to freeze to death and in a poor shape.

You can’t just get the same effect on the anime.

We see a similar trick also used in a scene that seems to foreshadow the ‘cat alliance’. In this three panel we see Edogai’s cat and then, below his panel, two panel showing Wildcat Ogata and Tiget Kiroranke exchanging a nod as they turn at the same time.

You just can’t get the same effect in the anime but the anime didn’t even made an effort as it didn’t show the cat falling on the ground (or better, it’ll show it but later on) but just Ogata first and Kiro after, both clearly looking at Hijikata without turning, Ogata’s expression different from the original (change of expressions is a point in which I’ll dig later).

...and the same goes for other ‘manga only’ ways to show things. For example the manga can use a swirling shade to imply that Ogata is actually in turmoil despite looking calm on the outside.

The anime wouldn’t be able to do such thing without making the draws looking weird. Of course some anime would find different ways to drive home the same concept (from a certain music to moving the whole swirling to the background or things like that)... but Geno tends to miss those details.

Anyway this might seems minor, many believe they don’t notice this sort of details... but actually most of those details are meant to pass below your conscious radar, and give you a determinate feeling without you quite realizing it. They shape the background of your opinion on the characters or of their relations or of the themes of the story.

- another problem is something for which the adaptation can be partly blamed and it’s the matter of cutting scenes. We should probably split the anime adaptation into the three series because they had different fates.

A premise. Out of late anime series have started being created for being 12 episodes series for commercial reasons. I won’t get into details on the why but this affected GK as all its series are 12 episodes and, to fit all the amount they decided to fit in 12 episodes, cutting scenes was mandatory in many cases. You just wouldn’t manage to put everything in them.

Plus, many anime series aren’t created to cover the whole storyline but just a part of it, using the anime series merely as a way to promote the manga (and likely, originally GK was planned to be a mere 12 episodes series).

Now, in GK case...

The first series adapted most of the story. There were however some relevant cuts that affected the series, the main one being how they completely removed Umeko from the plot something that hugely affected Sugimoto’s characterization but also, will come to bite back in future series with the result it’ll affect Sugimoto and Asirpa. Another notable cut was the Barato arc. They recovered it in the OAD, but if you don’t watch the OAD but just the anime, you’ve a great hole in the plot development. If the series has stopped at 12 episodes and had been merely a promotional mean for the story it wouldn’t have been a big deal but we know ultimately it continued. I would also say in some points it felt a bit rushed... but again, it could have worked for a promotional series... while it feels pretty bad for an ongoing one.

The second series was... a mess. It cuts left and right without really paying care to connect well the various parts of the story. Parts of the cuts had a reason to be, as some scenes seemed hard to transpose in an anime (think Anehata), others though were just cut so that they would fit in the 12 episodes quota all the plot that was missing to cover the story up till Abashiri, when the series would have benefitted greatly if they had stopped sooner instead than making a mad rush for Abashiri that translated in a cutting fest. They then recovered the Shiraishi arc, the giant snake arc, the boss Wakayama arc, the Anehata arc in 3 OAD (but we still miss the Lighting bandit arc and the fake Ainu arc), but it’s worth to mention some of whose OAD clearly weren’t planned, as they can’t connect anymore with the series which cut them in such a way they can’t be reinserted anymore.

The third series tried again adapting everything except the Sekiya arc and the Koito past arc. Overall though, despite those two cuts, they tried to adapt the most they could and at a decent pace, which allows the third series to come out as the best of the 3.

Result of this all?

The characterization of most of the characters, especially if you watch only the anime series without the OAD (or with the OAD but not placed in the order in which the manga storyline would have placed them), suffers of a lot of cuts that are instead important for their development.

Ogata is, of course, among the ones affected.

Some cuts are small, for example here we see him explaining that he’s not just randomly escaping, but that he has assested the situation and a retreat was the smartest thing he could do.

The same goes here, with Ogata again analyzing the situation and planning countermeasures as well as taking care of their weaknesses (warning Nikaidou to hide his binoculars).

And the same goes here

Ogata is even capable to point out that Hijikata’s plan might suceed at first but not in the long run, which shows a capacity of analysis of the big picture.

Plot wise this kind of cuts are meaningless, they don’t change the story but, character wise, they rob Ogata of one of his main characteristics, observing a situation, analyzing it and being fast to come up with a valid course of action.

You’ll find many cuts through the anime series and they touch various aspects of each character.

Sometimes those cuts affected lines exchanged between characters so that the relationships felt different because some things were just left unsaid.

Other cuts affected the boxes explaining things, for example in the anime we aren’t told why Ogata eats snow but we’re supposed to figure out on our own, or how the bear could sneak up without Ogata and Nikaidou noticing or how Ogata learnt during the war that he had to avoid hitting vital parts to slow his pursuers down and so on.

Then there are the HUGE cuts, the one I mentioned before, that involved plot threads (Umeko) or entire arcs, or had arcs placed in OAD that not everyone saw or that don’t well connect with the anime.

The Barato Arc and the Anehata arc both involved Ogata significantly, so not seeing the OAD affects the understanding of the character.

The fake Ainu arc being cut stripped Ogata of a lot of scenes, among which Sugimoto’s stubborn refusal of Ogata’s logical theory (those Ainu are fake) as well as didn’t show how Ogata saved Sugimoto’s life by shooting to a fake Ainu who was about to kill Sugimoto, returning Sugimoto’s favour (Sugimoto saved him while they were in Edogai’s house).

The Lighting bandit arc in the manga worked well to tie with the fact Ogata was a child born from parents who didn’t love each other. The anime kept Ogata’s backstory (and animated it mostly rather well) but it felt less strong since it lacked the frame of the Lighting bandit arc... and the worst part is we lost this bit.

The constant cutting of Umeko from the plot ended up causing the scene in which Sugimoto replied to Asirpa he was searching the gold to take care of a friend’s widow and Ogata pointed out how that widow was the woman Sugimoto loved and also realized how Asirpa was crushing for Sugimoto. The lack of this bit affects how we read the whole scene on the ice in Karafuto.

The fact the anime decided to skip the Anehata arc, changed the reunion between Ogata and Tanigaki making Ogata’s reaction to the death of Tamai and Co and to the discovery of how they actually died weaker and even deprived us of Sugimoto’s recurring ‘don’t trust Ogata’ to Asirpa who instead trust him, affecting how the relations were presented. This cause the relationship between Sugimoto and Ogata to look much better than it was.

Also, they removed Ogata’s presence once they were in the blind bandits house. He entered in it with Sugimoto but then the anime decided to have him disappear and left Sugi to handle it all when in the manga Ogata was there to help.

- another HUGE problem are the transposition choices. The biggest fault of the first series is to tend to present the character from a distance or from behind, hardly showing us their expressions. The Japanese voice actors (sorry I hadn’t tried out the dubs), expecially Tsuda Kenjiro, Ogata’s voice actor, do try their best but sometimes you just need to see the faces to get a feeling of what they’re feelings.

Look at this manga scene in which we see Ogata’s expression trice.

Do you know what they showed us in the anime? This.

Basically the anime put entirely on Tsuda Kenjiro the burden of delivering to the viewers Ogata’s displeased and suspicious feelings. Only Tsuda Kenjiro was instructed on keeping Ogata mostly toneless so, while he’s still an awesome actor and there are differences in his performance that give out what Ogata is feeling, they don’t come out as obvious as the visual of the manga, especially to a not Japanese viewer. It’s not a choice to keep Ogata mysterious, it’s a specific problem of the 1st anime series which does it with many, many characters, Sugimoto and Asirpa included because drawing and recycling such a scene takes less effort than animating all the panels that were in the manga.

It’s a problem mostly of the first series though, as the two following series were more expression friendly but... but the expressions they showed in all three series were often different from the ones used in the manga. Look at how in this scene Ogata is serious, I’ll say worried in the manga since his face is shadowed and as he understands something might be up but he has no idea what he is, but he clearly doesn’t like this development...

...while he grins in the anime, his face well light as if he’s having the best day of his life.

Then when he’s proudly showing off what he knows in the manga he smiles...

while in the anime he feels down.

Smiling with his eyes raised...

...versus not smiling with his eyes lowered.

...and so on and I don’t even know why they felt the need to change the various characters’ expressions (yeah, it’s not just an Ogata’s problem) as there’s simply no reason to do it.

On an interesting  note the anime chose to expand some fighting scenes. Ogata’s first fight with Sugimoto is longer, as Ogata manages to swing his bayonet a little before ending up on the ground (which is detrimental of Sugimoto who’s WAY more amazing of a fighter than him as Sugimoto can fight on par with Gansoku and Ushiyama) and felt the need to stretch the confrontation with Tsukishima too.

In the manga Tsukishima just kicks Ogata, Ogata notices Tsukishima is taking then gun and then tosses himself behind the stuffed people as he was still in that room. In the anime Ogata is in the room with the stuffed bear instead. Tsukishima kicks him behind it but then Ogata manages to spring out the room and go hid behind the stuffed people in the other room.

On another note, when in Edogai’s house Ogata is being beaten up by a soldier in the manga it’s shown he’s trying to protect himself with his arms while in the anime he seems to remain there completely still... and the anime put a sudden focus on Ogata’s eyes to switch at Sugimoto attacking the soldier and, at the same time pushing him away from Ogata, as if Ogata knew that he wouldn’t die there because Sugimoto was there to cover up for him, where in the manga there’s no emphasis on Ogata’s eyes and the two scenes are cut by how one has to turn page... plus Sugimoto hit the soldier so that he fell above Ogata so it’s clear Ogata wouldn’t have managed to glimpse Sugimoto.

 - Lastly yes, they missed the point of many of his interactions. For example the anime makers said they believed since Ogata’s mom kept on making the anglerfish nabe, it was because Ogata liked it, a sign she liked her son... when, according to the story, she kept on making it because it was his father’s favourite dish and she had gotten mad. In Karafuto they downplayed Asirpa’s efforts to have Ogata say citatap and hinna and completely missed how Ogata was allucinating her as Yuusaku...

(I mean in this scene is pretty obvious there’s a parallel between the two so I’m not sure how the anime missed it)

...and the anime seems to put more focus on how the lynx and Ogata’s tracks superimposed than on how Ogata is now walking on a different path from the lynx... just to list some of the things that came to my mind.

For more I’ve a couple of tags in which I compared the episode transposition and the manga one in details or a little more vaguely.

So, long story short, anime Ogata can’t help but give a different impression compared to manga Ogata.

He misses part of his story, his interactions are different, his expressions are changed, scenes that were meant to deliver certain things aren’t there so of course he seems another person.

It’s not done specifically to him though, as everyone suffered about this.

The anime, in his attempt to make the story simple and more... ‘shonen’ friendly has taken away much of the grey concepts for a more black and white picture which influenced also how situations were presented.

But well, while I’m not satisfied, part of this is done to market the show to a wider audience so it’s kind of a forced choice.

(On a sidenote it’s worth to remember that the anime adapt the volume version of the story which differs from the mangazine version in some relevant points. So not all the changes are completely made up by the anime.)

I hope it helps. Thank you for your ask!

[happypeachwhispers]

Fries Meet Guys: ALEX HØGH ANDERSEN - I DIDN'T THINK I WAS A PERSON WHO SHOULD TALK ABOUT ANXIETY - Part Two: Performing, Friendship

Thank you for your patience, here’s the long awaited part two! Are you crying, cause I’m crying. He’s such a profound human being.

Taglist: @ivarsrideordie @tgrrose @shannygoatgruff @youbloodymadgenius @boltslightning @alexein13 @ivaraddict @jupiter-sagittarius

PART ONE HERE

PARTS THREE TO EIGHT

I was all over the place, like I always am, after all, and I enjoyed that experience a lot, it filled something inside of me. I always knew I needed something else. I sure was a pain in the ass for many people, but then I met a whole group of people just like me and I learned what acceptance means. What was percieved as “different” in my daily life became normal and I felt at home. I was certainly the most determined one, the first time at the Eventyrteatret I was the only one of 50 kids in the room who didn't live in Copenhagen and had to take a long trip to get there. It was so crazy and chaotic. It was so strange that they sang and danced, and then they all danced in sync into a song they prepared for the annual performance. Well, back then I thought it was weird, but a month went by and it became completely normal for me. “I'm one of you”.

It was a new experience. You suddenly started singing and dancing in Copenhagen, how was that recieved back at home in Skælskør?

I think it took some time for the people I used to hang out with to understand that. I have to say I may remember feeling a little bit out of place. But it also has to be said, I've always been pretty comfortable in school, honestly. I have never been the one who has been so unpopular or I have struggled extra hard, I think. So it was, maybe, a little bit difficult. It might have been hard for me not to be accepted anymore because I was accepted before. Their point of view wasn't the big challenge for me, I actually think it was more an internal challenge with myself, I could feel there was a completely different world. I didn't know anything about it but I just made room for myself and I discovered there was a part of me I had no idea was there in the first place.

Was it difficult to maintain frendships in school when you were busy driving back and forth between Skælskør and Copenhagen?

It has actually not been that bad in primary school. But I have to say in high school, yes, it was. I have some friends from high school I talk to every now and then, but no, I didn't maintain any close friendship. I basically lived a double life throughout high school, where I was either at the Eventyrteatret or I was shooting the advent calendar in Aalborg. So I was pretty much not there, my social life was in Copenhagen. I had a girlfriend there too. I just didn't feel the need for a social life in Skælskør. And the free time I had was pretty much all absorbed by my profession.

I think we can all relate.

Yes but usually Danish kids in high school when they have free time they wanna party, that's what happens when you're part of a group of friends in high school.

We have had some other guests in the studio who have had very different experiences. How is your situation friendship-wise in school at this point?

I had some friends in high school, in my class and in other classes, absolutely. But I spent almost all the time with the group of friends in Copenhagen, so I was not influenced by my high school mates and their choices that much. I've felt a lil bit different because I've had a double life. I mostly had different group of friends in relation to the activity I shared with them. The group of friends I acted with, the group I went to college with and then a small group I talk to from time to time mostly individually.

Do you have both female and male friends?

Yes, I do. I would say I have more male friends tho. It's a mixed bunch of ordinary people, both women and men.

Is the way you communicate with your female friends different from the way you communicate with your male friends?

Definitely. You have to be more of a listener, I'm pretty good at listening, I think you have to adapt and communicate in a different way based on who is in front of you. See, with men you talk a certain way, that sort of street style if you will.  It comes natural because that's the way you talk to each other since the first day you met. But when you have in front of you people who are pretty cool and you have to impress them, you just have to do this and that, and that's what it's needed. But I would like to be able to be honest, always. And it's not hard at all, I’ve been really good at surrounding myself with some really, really pleasant people. I can afford to be myself at all times and they can be one hundred percent themselves with me.

What does it mean to be your authentic self for you?

It means that one can afford to have not only a good day but also a bad one. To be able to be stupid and not have to be slaughtered for it. I can be weird and crazy and say some stupid things without having to go half an hour afterwards and hit myself in the head. These are little things that are so insanely hard to find. I'm very lucky. I can pretty much talk about everything with them, we are very very honest with each other. In January, I was in Tenerife with three of my friends, and we brought along our stories in the luggage. I was suffering from anxiety and I had a sore stomach, it lasted four months, I was finally getting better. Another friend of mine, he's extreme. The love game hits him immensely. The other one suffers from depression. He generally has a hard time figuring out what he wants and what he doesn't existentially. And then we have number four, thank God, he doesn't have the same big problems. He holds us all together. It was a great experience, I remember us four sitting around the table and talking while eating pizza with shrimps. We sat for three or four hours talking non-stop about nothing but our problems that one could imagine they are extremely taboo for other groups.

Did sharing with each other give you something on an emotional level?

Oh yes, absolutely. We support each other by sharing and it's awesome to have people you trust so much to share such personal issues with. And so I think in 2019 in today's Denmark, that's what it means to be a man. To be able to comprehend people and understand. I see instead a lot of carelessness and stereotypes.

Didn't you encounter those qualities in other men, as an adult?

No, not at all. It's not about stereotypes. We have just as many problems as everyone else and we are extremely worried about it financially and emotionally. Anxiety. Social education, existential issues. It can be anything. All my friends, all the people I have in my life, they all have problems to a greater or lesser degree. Absolutely. But that's what it means to be human. And that's what it means to be a man. It means you are making mistakes, you are imperfect. You are a fool, and you must be allowed to be a fool, and you will also stand on your own. You're going to hurt other people because you're human. But you must also be forgiven, and you must also be able to forgive. You just need care and understanding.

Were you able to find the care and understanding you need?

Alex groans – Yes and no.

Do I have to change subject?

Alex laughs – No, it's ok. I am open to recieve care. It's just that I stress a lot about my mistakes, your head plays games with you and you just have to survive.

You can't control everything you can handle, what a funny paradox. You describe yourself as a person who likes to take up a lot of space and fill a lot. And then I also sense that when it comes to emotions, for example, to take a seat and ask for help, then it's a whole different thing.

Yes, that's true. I don't know, I'm fucking complicated and I don't know how to handle it at all. I believe in nature and creativity. I have always had a lot of willpower and then I had my mother showing me the right path, then you grow up and learn to control yourself. But I have a hard time talking about it. I told you, I don't know. Yes, I am a human being who goes through a lot and thinks such extremely deep thoughts, I put all that in my creativity, in my work. That helps me. Then I have moments when I'm completely wrapped in my own thoughts, but I think, generally, I'm a relaxed person. I do my very best just not to do all that thinking and that takes a lot of effort. I won't let those thoughts get under my skin because I know all too well that it's not good for me.

END PART TWO

Ask me in messages if you wanna be tagged // Feel free to like, comment and share, thank you!

[satsuki2406]

OPEN SKY Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

“…And never, ever forget that, your dreams are the wings that’ll help you fly.”

(L/N)(Y/N) has always been forced to live according to others’ expectations. As a member of the powerful and influential (L/N) Family, she has had to live with the heavy weight of seeing others write her destiny with no choice but just obey. But when (Y/N) finally decides to risk it all to take the only opportunity to regain the control of her own life, everything ends up going horribly wrong. Surrendered and disappointed, she receives one last chance to prove to herself and to U.A, along with some unexpected help that this was not a crazy and meaningless waste of time.

Maybe this plan could work after all…

PAIRING: (Bakugou Katsuki x Reader)

GENRE/WARNINGS: Romance, Fluff, Angst, Mentions of sex (nothing explicit tho), dark themes, My poor attempt of comedy, family dysfunctionality, toxic relationships, Strong language (Courtesy of King Lord Explosion Murder 💥), Manga Spoilers.

STATUS: On going

Masterlist \(￣︶￣*\))

6- Have We Got a Deal?

✒A/N:

I rewrote this chapter like three times, and hopefully, now it turned out better. I read my progress again a couple of weeks ago and it was simply, not right. I hated it so much that I decided to delete it and work again on it. The essence is the same of what I planned for this chapter and although it is a bit longer now, I took the chance to get into more detail about certain things and express better about others. The conversation between Reader-chan and Kaguya may have become a bit deeper than it used to be, but I really liked the outcome and gave me more ideas for the future plot. That's all for now.

Hope you enjoy it! q(≧▽≦q)

.

.

So, my dear sweet cousin, do you accept or not?

“W-Wait a minute! You can’t be serious, do you- do you understand the implications of what you’re saying?!” You said incredulously.

“Of course I do, why do you think we are here?” Kaguya said while she took another canape and bit it. She chewed slowly while you watched her attentively, the dread in your stomach growing by increments, exasperated for her to continue. She finally swallowed and took a sip of wine.

“So? Would you care to explain what on earth is actually happening, because you don’t expect me to believe that the cause of such an unprecedented change is because of some internet gossip” You said in a demanding tone.

“Of course it’s not, but if you are patient enough I’ll explain it to you with pleasure, so you better watch your tone with me, brat.” She hissed.

You puffed out your cheeks but nodded in cue for her to continue.

“Approximately three days ago grandmother convened a last-minute meeting in her abode to discuss this problem. At first, I thought she was overreacting about this whole ordeal, after all big corporates and companies are attacked and critized all the time, but after a long, long discussion, we all agreed that the situation should not be taken lightly and it needed to be addressed as soon as possible.”

“That bad it is?” You asked slightly concerned.

“Unfortunately,” Kaguya answered. “Walls covered in graffiti in Kyoto, people protesting and messing with the employees at the ER main entrance in Hosu, broken windows in Deika and thousands and thousands of emails and nasty messages in all our social media accounts. We had to hire the services of a whole publicity agency so they could deal with the problem, hardly. It has been difficult to contain, but it paid off because it hasn’t been leaked into any important newscast. Internet, the origin of the problem, has been another story, unfortunately, in these cases, it can be very difficult and unforgiving to work with; once something enters, is nearly impossible to pull it out and if you succeed there’s always a risk it would pop up anywhere when you least expect it.” Kaguya said while she rubbed her temples.

“Internet is a huge source of news and information for thousands of people nowadays, even millions, fake or not, and also the main responsible that this situation slipped out of control faster.”

You contemplated your next words as you soaked in all the information you just were provided with, so you could express your ideas and queries as clear as possible. “Okay…but why is everybody so angry about our current family situation? I get it’s messed up, but why go as far as vandalize privite property and nag about it on social media?” You asked slightly hesitant.

“As an institution, we had always presented and preserved ourselves as a family, working to, and for the Japanese families generation after generation, no matter where we went, we always went together, always radiating the image of a happy, healthy, and unified family. Throughout the time several members of our family had made multiple presentations in public inspiring kindness and charisma, earning the trust and love of the people, which is impressive considering the heavily hero centered world we live in. Now that there are strong rumors putting all of these apparent facts into question, some people feel mocked, disappointed, and cheated… besides other things.” Kaguya mumbled.

“Sorry I could not listen the last part Kaguya.” You said puzzled.

“Don’t worry, I was just talking to myself, the important thing is that the problem is been solved, millions will be invested but is necessary. We have already started a huge ad campaign, a lot of important heroes will be involved so we can reassure and remind people why we have been their number one choice during over a century, that we still the same and will always remain the same, that we do not change, we improve.”

“I see, but you haven’t explained what does this have to do with me going to U.A-”

“As I told you she decided to make exceptions, due to the unusual situation we are going through right now we need unusual solutions as well and as part of our ad campaign and for the sake of our image she decided that two fortunate souls would have the chance to pursue a carrier of their choice, you know to placate the masses.”

“ Of course, a different series of factors would be taken into account when examining the option chosen and its potential benefits for the interests of the company, if these results are not satisfactory, the other alternatives will be analyzed to find a more suitable one and the aforementioned process will be repeated. Once we find satisfactory results, grandmother will proceed to revise everything once more and give her approval or deny it.”

“So, what you’re telling me is that we are doing the same thing but with more options? And they are going to evaluate if we can actually perform well in these new career options?” You asked unimpressed at your grandmas’ unwillingness to let the leash lose a bit even in a situation like this.

“Exactly right, it’s a change but there are still rules nonetheless.” Kaguya affirmed as she refilled her cup again. “Don’t get me wrong, she is really mad, just the thought of sacrifice two pawns in one single move is driving her crazy”

“Which selection system will be used in this case?” You asked.

“Nominations. As you already know there are two potential candidates, besides you of course.”

“Two? But there’s other three-”

“Aya has already been selected by grandmother herself, he’ll be enrolled into U.A next year via recommendation, everything is ready and processed the only thing left is to break the news on him.”

You grimaced, anxious, and preoccupied to see your already thin chances narrow even more. Your cousin, Aya was a famous vlogger and influencer with a strongly settled fanbase in and out of Japan. His videos generally focus on his daily life, trips to cool and exotic destinations, and the typical ‘eat this’, ‘do that’ challenges that always went around the internet.

He also participated in different campaigns to raise funds for different charitable causes and was a fervent advocator of animal rights and the environment, even donating millions from his own pocket. He always did his best to involve the name of the (L/N) Group, allowing them to organize, participate and sponsor some of these events helping bust their image as a caritative, conscious, and woke organization.

The bastard overflew with kindness and charisma and knew how to surround himself with the right people to manage his channel properly, although no relatable for the regular mid-class YouTube user, you had to admit that his videos were fun, entertaining, interesting, and sometimes, informative, that was the reason they were always flooded with millions of views, comments, likes and overall the crushing success he was experiencing every time he uploaded a new one.

He’s rich, famous, handsome, and had an appealing personality, add hero to that list and you’ll get the recipe to success. It wouldn't surprise you at all if he reached the top 10 of the HBC in a year just out of sheer popularity. His quirk is also fitted for a hero, he’ll need some serious training, but nothing that money and elite PT could not manage.

“How am I supposed to compete with that?” You whispered with your head down watching how your knuckles turned whiter as your hands crinkled your uniform skirt.

“Don’t trouble yourself with what you’re not supposed to, Aya is not competition, not anymore, instead try to focus on the actual competition, and may I add that you got a really big chance with my brother out of the picture. Kaguya smirked at you confidently.

“You think so?” You asked doubtfully.

“Believe me (Y/N), my sister is really smart and competent, but has the charm and social skills of a cardboard box, and Himeko, well… we could resume all her virtues, abilities and skills to shopping, makeup, gossip, selfies, social media, being pretty and an absolute headache. Grandmother got big plans for her after she graduates though, so I’ll take her out of the picture as well.”

“Big plans?” You said arching your eyebrow.

“Let’s say that, right now, we have a great, juicy, and very convenient deal that is in negociation right now and she is a vital piece to close it successfully. Don’t worry, your curiosity will be satiated soon enough.”

“What worries me is that I think I got a grasp of what you’re talking about.”

“Aw. Come on, businesses are businesses (Y/N), C’est la vie.” She said as she shrugged uninterested.

“Yeah, because is not you.” You grumbled.

“Excuse me?”

“I said, why don’t you continue.”

“You are right, where we were? Oh, right.”

‘Was she really just dismissing the topic like that?!’

“Tell me (Y/N), do you think that I would have brought you here and propose this plan to you if I didn’t have an ace up my sleeve? Please. There are some important and positive points that can grant us success if we exploit them properly, but we must play our cards wisely, unfortunately, that’ll have to wait until we are completely alone.” Confused your arched your eyebrow, until your ears were met with the sound of the wheels of a certain golden cart rapidly approaching.

“Hello again ladies, let me take this off,” Hiro said while he took the almost empty canape plate along the rest of the dishes. “Is there anything else you would like? Would you like another beverage (L/N)-sama?” Hiro said looking at your semi voided glass.

“Y-Yes please”

“Alright!” With the swift and skill of years of experience, Hiro served your plates, removed the shiny silver food covers, refilled both water cups and Kaguya’s wine cup as well in less than a minute. “Please enjoy, if there’s anything else you would like I’ll be happy to assist you! I’ll be back in a minute with your drink miss.”

You spent the next couple of minutes in total silence waiting for your drink in order to continue your conversation privately and interruption-free. Just as said, Hiro returned instants later with the promised drink and finally left you two to converse calmly.

“Well, now that the coast is clear, let me fill you up with what you have to know and do in order to obtain a favorable outcome for both of us.” Kaguya began as she sliced a bite of quail breast.

“So, this is my plan…”

.

.

Now with your dinner night already finished, you were now heading to your house. This ride was as quiet as the one to the restaurant, but without the suffocating weight of uncertainty. Your head was filled now with the echoes of your conversation with Kaguya, debating, analyzing, considering, comprehending every single word of it.

“You seem troubled, you are doubtful, aren’t you?” Said Kaguya interrupting your thoughts.

“I’m more scared than anything if this doesn’t work-”

“It will, you already know what to do, just focus on that. I’ll keep in contact with you anyway, in case of emergencies or any last-minute matter.” She then proceeded to rummage in her purse and took out a brand-new phone, it was one of those not so high-quality flip phones that you can get for a really low price, probably a disposable one.

“I already put my phone number in it, so we can communicate without issue. This phone is a really basic one, so it has no internet access but you have unlimited calls and texts. Just make sure to keep it hidden from your mother or that blabbermouth maid of yours.”

“Yes, I’ll find a place.”

“Perfect, remember, the announce dinner will be this Saturday, surely your mom would tell you, everybody will be there, they must at least.”

Another twenty minutes passed before you were at the main door of your lavish home. Silently, you excited the car after Soichiro opened the door for you and you headed to the front door.

“We’ll keep in contact, until then, (Y/N).” Kaguya said softly, once she finished Soichiro shut the door, bowed his head, and wished you a good evening. He straightened up his posture and proceeded to hop in the car again. Quietly you observed the car get farther and farther until it disappeared. You stayed there in silence, while the nightly wind swayed your hair delicately. The sound of the door opening distracted you, then, you turned around to be met with the gentle smile of Nobu-san.

“Okaerinasai, (Y/N)-sama, how was your dinner with Kaguya-sama?”

“Pretty…unexpected.” You looked everywhere, making sure that nobody else was listening to your conversation. “I’ll fill you out on the details later” You whispered and Nobu-san nodded knowingly. “I see, your bath is ready (Y/N)-sama. Please take your time and relax, it’s been a long night after all,” He got slightly closer to you and cupped his hand around his mouth, and whispered. “I’m pretty sure you’ll make good use of this time to ponder any thought that is troubling your mind.” He distanced from you, crossed his arms behind his back, and gave you a gentle closed-eye smile. “Would you like a cup of tea after your bath?”

You smiled at him fondly.

“(F/T/F), please.”

.

.

You’ve been lying if you said that you could actually sleep the night before. Your head could not stop to reproduce in a loop your conversation with Kaguya the night before, like a broken record you couldn’t escape from. Before you noticed, the outrageous melody of your alarm resounded in the spaciousness of your room. You groaned in protest, unwillingly getting up to start your day.

Dressed and ready, you took your bag and went downstairs to have breakfast. Before you could finish hopping down the stairs you caught a glimpse of your mother sitting at the head chair, like always with your father by her side, she was holding her morning coffee while she read some emails on her laptop.

As always she looked stunning in her soft pink and golden outfit, she crossed her legs, put down her cup and started typing in her laptop.

You straighten your posture the best you could and approached the table with delicate steps. “Good morning mother, good morning dad”

“Good morning dear, how did you sleep?” Said your mother without taking her eyes off the screen in a somewhat flat tone as her fingers tapped nimbly over the keyboard. “Pretty well, and yourself?” You said while you took a seat at the innecesarily expansive dinning table.

“Not so well sadly, there’s been some… issues I had to take care of.” She hissed a bit irritated as she rubbed her temples.

“I-I see, hopefully, you’ll have a better day today, mother.”

“I doubt it, unluckily, but thank you for your words, darling. Now hurry up or you’ll be late.”

“Yes, mother.”

“You should have some fresh fruit honey; the mangos are delicious!” Said the cheerful voice of your father. You smiled fondly at him while he reciprocated with a smile of his own. “I’ll do then, thank you for your suggestion dad.” You answered while one of the maids served you a portion of fresh mixed fruit in a bowl and Nobu-san poured tea in your cup.

“(Y/N)” Spoke your mom.

“Yes, mother?”

“Your grandmother had organized a family dinner this Saturday that we must assist, of course, I expect nothing less of you than be on your best behavior, also is imperative that you choose your outfit today so I can determine if it’s appropriate for the occasion. If you need to go shopping just tell Sasaki, I activated your debit card again just this time.” She said authoritatively.

“Yes mother, I’ll do it today after class.” You said as you topped your fruit with some honey, yougurt and granola. 

“Splendid, now if you excuse me, I have to go now, Haru, hurry up or we’ll be late”

“Yes, cara mia” Your father beamed. Your mother then rose from her chair took her handbag and draped her coat over her shoulders. Your father then finished his coffee as soon as he could and went behind her. “Have a good day princess!” Exclaimed you dad. “Thank you, you too!” You answered while you saw them get escorted by an army of bodyguards.

Soon enough the door was closed and you were left alone. “(Y/N)-sama I advise you to hurry as well, school starts in thirty minutes” Said the familiar voice of Nobu-san. “What!? Oh, I’m going to be late! Ok, I got this! I’ll brush my teeth and I’ll be ready-please ask Sasaki-san to start the car! I will be there in a minute!” You stuttered while climbing up stairs.

“Sure thing, Ojou-sama,” He said with an amused smile.

.

.

“Thank you again for joining me for shopping Momo”

“Oh, it’s no trouble at all, I’ll also take the chance to buy some new accessories as well,” Beamed your ravenette friend. It was the end of the school day and you had asked Momo to help you choose new accessories to complement a dress you already had.

“But to be honest I never imagine that your mom would lose her grip on you so soon even if it’s temporary, what surprised me more was what Kaguya-san told you yesterday,” She whispered trying to no let your conversation be known by Sasaki-san although the automated partition window was up as a precautionary measure. “Are you sure you can trust her?” She said concerned.

“I still don’t know, suddenly everything became so complicated, I mean her plan is good and has a high probability to work, and right now I don’t have a better option, I don’t even have any options, to begin with!” You groaned, confused.

“What’s still bugging me is why is she helping you in the first place? I can’t help but find it suspicious no matter how much I think about it. Did you ask her something about it?”

“I did, but she went into this mysterious and enigmatic mode and just said something like ‘You’ll know soon enough’ It would be easier to pinch a glass than get something out of her.” You said with a tone of frustration.

“I guess that the only thing we can do now is to wait and see,” Sighed Momo while she shrugged her shoulders. “By the way, what are we going to do first?” She said more animatedly.

“Let’s start with the shoes and then maybe a new jewelry set, a new clutch as well would be good. What you think?”

“I think is a splendid idea!” Momo exclaimed.

.

.

.

🏷Taglist:

@bakasbitch18 

[sanstropfremir]

kingdom episode 3 baby!!!!

listen. i’m not gonna lie i was nervous as hell for this episode. i saw that preview like everyone else and unfortunately i have ears so i was convinced the ateez stage was going to be a trainwreck. i was absolutely banking on sf9 and skz to do something even mildy interesting to save me from the ear damage and having to talk to extensively about why that disaster happened. but somehow i woke up in an alternate universe and you know what? with the exception of that high note the ateez stage fucked. i know. i don’t believe it either. i think i’m still in shock.

i’ll do individual breakdowns in order of favourites within the episode and then at the end i’ll put my personal ranking of all six. thank god i don’t have to do a stage breakdown again; if they change it again for next week i will scream.

ateez

a miracle happened. i don’t have to fight any of the staff at kq. i don’t understand either. jongho is so fucking lucky that the rest of the group pulled all that energy out of their asses because if they had been even a single iota less serious about it that stage would have flopped worse than a dead fish. i can’t believe we got this level of camp b movie schlock in the first full stage, and they stuck the landing. incredible.

fine i’ll address the elephant in the room. personally, i don’t think jongho is that good of a vocalist. he’s not bad, and he does have the potential to be a good vocalist, he just doesn’t have the training, and this is the issue with all of ateez. hanya talked about this before and i’ll say it again: he can’t switch to his head voice and he’s destroying his vocal cords by attempting to hit notes in his mid range that he should just jump to head voice for. frankly i’m surprised he got anywhere close to that note in his mid, but his technique is just not there and he’s gonna do some real damage to his voice if he doesn’t take a break and also get a good vocal coach. you can already hear the degradation in sound from their debut stage to now, and that’s in less than three years. ok i’m done talking about vocals that’s hanya’s turf, i’m pretending that that high note doesn’t exist and we’re moving on. also im in love with btob’s reaction it was fucking priceless.

costume

look, i have a one track brain and that brain can only think about seonghwa corset. seonghwa corset? seonghwa corset.

i know it’s not a real corset nor is it properly laced and i know this would never happen in a million years but a kpop mr pearl trend? i would die. just fully expire. there’s no coming back from that for me

yes i have laced boys into proper corsets before and yes it is as hot as you think it is (when it’s not work related, obviously)

ok now that i’ve got that out of my system for the moment, the costumes are actually pretty good. i’m a little obsessed with hongjoong’s coat although I know it’s stupid. fur? always, I love it, you’ll never change my mind it makes everything better. i own a lot of it and i wear it all the time. this is also a pretty good example of how to do a more modern styling within a very specific and recognizable genre.

i don’t hate the backup dancers’ costumes either, even though they would look a lot better in a not-pirate themed hiphop stage. because there is already a modern tint with the boys’ costumes, it’s not that much of a leap to the dancers, and they actually use the dancers and the camera really strategically to not put much focus on them.

the only real standout issue is the blacklight/contortionist moment, which is too gimmicky for me and doesn’t fit the rest of the theme. i do understand the purpose of them: you need a transition point from the upper deck to the more fantastical inner ship area, and blacklight paint is a really easy, cheap, and fast way to get four new costumes instantly. do i think they could have done something better though? yes.

set

this was actually a smart reuse of that pirate ship set. i know i clowned on them in the first stage that they could move on from the pirate gimmick but honestly? i’m glad they didn’t. this was fun as fuck. but also two stages was enough you can move on now.

i love how they actually used the weird double stage function that the false prosc creates for an actual architectural and narrative effect, instead of just sort of operating as though it’s just another place to travel just because you can. we are on the deck of the ship, and then we go inside the ship. it’s simple and effective. you don’t need to do a crazy amount of crossover to establish a dynamic sense of place.

i hate the ateez kingdom logo. i hate the ateez logo in general. get it out of there, at least you could have made something more fun and pirate themed.

would have loved to have seen them return to the hourglass at the end, especially if they got one that was specifically set for 4 minutes. would have been a nice bit of symmetry but i suspect it was struck before the kraken bit.

the kraken bit??? i was not at all expecting that and honestly? dope as hell. that big tentacle is just a custom inflatable santa claus that you see around christmastime and what a brilliant use of such a simple mechanic, especially to have it come through that weird little triangle arch they have upstage. smart way to use the existing architecture.

yes it is a gimmick but here’s why it works rather than just looks tacky like every other gimmick we’ve seen so far: it had a function within the narrative. this is so important. show us there’s a reason it’s there!

lighting

i didn’t love it but they did actually make some smart choices. the outer deck is warmer toned and has some good atmospheric effects, and the inner deck is cold tone and specifically lit with pin lights to imitate the light coming through portholes in an actual ship, which is so smart thank you lighting designer

also a very clear arc with the lighting, blue -> orange -> blue/red -> orange/multiple -> blue

sound

i actually kinda liked this remix? it fit theme and had a very clear dramatic arc. also i like wonderland, so sue me.

staging

WE DID IT, WE FINALLY GOT A CLEAR NARRATIVE FROM AT LEAST ONE GROUP! wonderland was actually a great choice for them because it’s a really good indicator of exactly how hungry they are. i was a bit worried that it would fall flat because it kinda rides on mingi but they actually pulled it off. i have literally no idea where they pulled all that energy from but holy shit you can practically lick the attitude off the screen. i’m also very impressed by the amount of information they managed to fit into that four minute narrative. we had a full conflict/climax/resolution, as well as a really clear understanding of the tenacity and drive of the group, as well as the desire to support one another in achieving their goals. bravo.

ok so like i said in the set section, they used that pirate ship bridge really effectively to create two different but connected spaces. this is a really smart way to make it seem like you have two spaces while having to only build one set. it was also one of the best ways to utilize this dumbass stage so it doesn’t just look like you’re running arbitrarily from area to area because you can.

also levels! levels are so important for staging but also hard to do in this context because you have to be able to move really quickly in and out of full group formation, but I think they did a really good job here.

continued point: the kraken arm worked because it was the conflict they needed to overcome in the narrative, so it had a function within the performance. also related: all the tricking and jumping also served a purpose within the narrative too. it was either used for fighting (yeosang kicking all those dancers on beat) or a demonstration of teamwork (jongho flinging yunho around on the floor). also frankly excellent use of choreographic formation with the backup dancers, each formation had a specific function and was meant to highlight ateez without being overbearing.

not a whole lot of camera choreo, but a fairly good long take at the beginning and the editing wasn’t too obnoxious which I think was more chance than intent, but i’m not gonna look a gift kraken in the beak.

sf9

i actually really liked this stage, and i really like that sf9 has established their colour as effortlessly elegant, which does set them apart from the rest of the groups. this stage was really choreographically complex and they made it seem so easy, so real props to them. however, like with ikon’s stage, there were a lot of good ideas that just weren’t followed through enough for me.

like ateez, song choice and theme were very well intertwined with this one, there was a lot of thought put into this stage. the pun with ‘jealous’ and ‘jilleosseo’ and having a fairytale/magic mirror narrative? fuckin GALAXY BRAINED. incredible. the implication that not only taeyang but the entire group is the evil queen from snow white? chef’s kiss. should have committed harder and put one of them in massive cloak à la king taemin mama 2020. instead it was subtle enough to not try to step on ateez’s schlocky camp toes but still just as serious and i love that. do i wish they pushed it farther though? also yes.

costume

not gonna lie, i had my reservations on the costumes when we saw the previews of them in the waiting room, but the thing about stage costumes is that they always look bad when not on stage. if they look good in the waiting room you’ve done something wrong. and i loved them on stage. big fan of that quilted vest/pseudo stomacher. please can we have a corset trend? y’all already adopted bondage harnesses, c’mon a little corset won’t hurt. also a good example of a modern spin on a recognizable genre.

i wish the backup dancers weren’t in all black but i am fighting single person battle against the entire entertainment industry on that one.

set

extremely simple with a few smart utilizations. had a feeling this might have been a budget thing, as it had a similar kind of vibe with ikon’s stage, but the use of the mirrors was smart and a fun device that served the purpose of the narrative.

working with mirrors on stage is really fucking hard, so kudos to them for giving it a go. for the most part it was pretty effective. especially with the combo of moving mirrors and moving lights AND moving camera, you’re kind of asking to either blind your audience or at least give them a headache. i once saw a production of the magic flute that had a rotating mirror setpiece and i swear i nearly went blind due to the constantly flashing reflections. you have to really be careful with directionality and reflection, especially with the added element of a camera. also you never use real glass mirrors on stage, it is unbelievably bad luck and theatre people are the most superstitious demographic on the fucking planet.

i kinda loved the draped gold dais. i have nothing else to say about it other than fun!

lighting

a lot of this was very weirdly lit and i’m not sure why. the quality on youtube is terrible and cameras already have trouble picking up detail in low light, and throwing a whole bunch of primary red over that (the colour with the longest wavelength and therefore disappears the easiest in the dark. also human eyes are not very good at distinguishing variations in the red spectrum) and the red costumes made it extremely difficult to tell what was happening.

i will give them props for dramatic lighting usage, especially for the two way mirror trick and for using the floor as a primary lighting source at the end, which i think groups should be using more of. how often do you have a lighting source in your floor!!! almost never!! use that opportunity!!

sound

i actually enjoyed this remix too. it was well suited to the dramatic nature of the stage. i think the sound byte at the beginning is ‘mirror mirror on the wall who’s the worthiest of them all’ but it also could be ‘who’s the worst of them all’ and that would be also fitting and kinda funny.

staging

again, not a lot of consideration for camera choreo in a meaningful way, and like the tbz stage I think the clarity in the actual choreo got hampered by the editing. because there was a lot of choreographic precision that went into making this work and it wasn’t totally obvious from the way mnet edited it.

a lot of them are actors so it works that they’re leaning more towards dramatic stages rather than the sort of performance type stages we’ve seen so far. i like this choice for them as it gives them a very obvious colour but they’re almost on the verge of making it look too easy, which does them some injustice.

next to ateez, using that long uninterrupted traverse was my favourite use of this stage. doubles as an easy way to build the atmosphere of a palace corridor/throne room with the rug, and to feed the drama of the piece.

skz

ok i have some…..things to say about this stage. so far i have not been kind to skz which makes me look like i hate them and i don’t, i promise. there were a lot of really interesting things happening in this stage and there some really successful ones, and i liked this a whole lot better than their intro stage, but their overall choreo and thematic dedication is really killing me. i’ll explain.

costume

I don’t hate them but also…….why? I got the good self vs evil self/internal struggle theme but the costumes don’t really have anything interesting to say about that. as far as modern style costuming goes i think they’re on the more interesting end, but they don’t push it far enough. there’s a few western art history visual motifs and honestly? they should have gone whole hog and whited out their faces/hair and made them look like classical sculptures. that would have been hella fun, especially with that little statue and marionette sequence, plus the shadow/leash manipulation.

this time it was actually intentional that the backup dancers were in blacks and i appreciate that.

why on EARTH did they have that ridiculous makeup that didn’t read on stage? theatre makeup and tv makeup are different, you can’t just do a light purple eyeshadow and expect to read under blue and red light. someone needs to bring an actual theatre makeup artist in and get these boys in some real crazy looks. see previous point about full-face white pancake. more extreme makeup please and thank you!

set

i liked the use of internal architecture within this massive weird stage space and they used the corridors quite well. i didn’t really like the mix of baroque scrolling and also graffiti, it wasn’t quite connected for me. this has been a common theme among this round and i think it comes from budget/props pulls rather than anything else.

also there was a distinct feeling of trying to fill the main stage space with bodies as opposed to atmosphere. this can work in some specific cases but the intent wasn’t strong enough for me. it just felt like a lot of people on stage, especially in the end choreo.

lighting

the general lighting was fine but not particularly inspired. the low light in the beginning was actually quite well done, especially combined with the fog, but in my opinion was not dramatic enough. you have a pseudo art history theme happening, pump that contrast and push the chiaroscuro!

ok stay with me, i’m gonna say something extremely controversial that might actually get me cancelled. s*per j*unior’s burn the floor did everything this stage was trying to do on a smaller scale and better. look i know ok, this is a like, a double atom bomb hot take. just forget everything you know about them and watch the performance video. tell me that’s not some of the most interesting choreo you’ve seen in kpop. if you’re going to work with practical light you need to COMMIT. not just steal the solar lanterns out of my mom’s back garden.

i have a lot of opinions on using practical light and alternate light sources in performance because it’s a huge part of my practice and this just....wasn’t interesting enough for me. push it further!

(I will wait for the subs on the full episode because there has to be a reason they chose that specific shape of lamp. if not i gotta ask jyp why he’s raiding my mom’s garden)

sound

god’s menu has such specific imagery associated within the lyrics and choreography that this stage was a bit dissonant for me. especially when seen in conjunction with two stages where the narrative was tied explicitly to the lyrics of the songs. i think maybe if it hadn’t been grouped with these other two stages i would have felt differently. the other groups chose to do songs were a little more abstract and allowed for more visual experimentation, but to go so blatantly against the food metaphor didn’t really work for me and i had a tough time divorcing the association. I found the arrangement to be a little lacking in energy for me towards the end but otherwise it was pretty interesting.

staging

Definitely a better performance overall that the intro stage. almost all of the gimmicks this time had relevance to the theme which i appreciated. the marionette bit and the shadow/mirror were probably the most interesting but i wish they were better lit.

 there was a lot of back and forth in the blocking that made the stage feel repetitive and also aimless? like there wasn’t a very clearly established directionality within the internal space, so it felt like treading over the same ground for no purposeful reason. and again, not a lot of intentional camerawork.

i really liked having the dancers under the big sheet, it fit well enough within the ‘war between internal selves’ theme, but also had a loose tie to the art imagery. again, i really wish they had stuck to a clearer visual theme. it makes them stick out especially in this grouping of stages, but also across all the groups as whole because almost everyone had a clear(ish) visual idea.

holy shit that’s a lot of backup dancers. i don’t really feel like that many were necessary and the sheer number of them took away from the emphasis of the group. with all of the other stages (except for tbz) it was very clear who the centre of attention and emphasis was, and with both skz and tbz they got swallowed by the sheer scale they were trying to operate at. bigger is not always better.

---

this is a tough round to rank because none of these stages are bad, there’s just some that are, in my opinion, more successful than others. all of these stages do very well in specific elements but fall short in others which also makes this ranking difficult. i’m evaluating these based on whether they were successful to me, as i’m pretty sure this ranking will probably not all be popular opinion, but whatever i like to live on the edge.

btob – visuals, vocals, narrative, swords? what more do you want me to say? also i watched the full episode and minhyuk did rehearsal with a real bokken and i think i am in love with him now.

ateez – honestly not sure if i would have ranked this first if that high note hadn’t been a mess. i love camp nonsense and i genuinely think this was a well designed stage. i can’t believe i keep saying that but it’s true.

sf9 – this stage was really solid, just could have been pushed farther. i think it has a really good sense of drama and it’s a pity that sf9’s colour is more subdued, because i think they’re going to be stuck around the 3rd/4th position for the rest of the show.

ikon – ikon is only ranking this high because although i am disappointed in the wasted potential of this stage, they NAILED the camerawork and actually brought in someone to block the steadicam into the choreo. also they’re incredible performers. i say this every time, but their stage presence, although maybe lower energy that they normally would be, is still not to be fucked with.

skz – i think this one is the most ‘meh’ for me. while i liked a lot of the elements here they just didn’t push it far enough and the lack of narrative and general aimless choreo led to me not having any strong feelings yea or nay.

tbz – to be quite honest the lack of costume unity is a big hit for me. all elements of design are equally as important but because of my personal practice and experience i tend to put a lot of weight on good costume and spatial design. i don’t actually like game of thrones also, so I feel mildly offended on behalf of michele clapton, who had did a fucking incredible job and doesn’t deserve to be slandered like this. also the lack of cohesive choreography and the overblown lighting made this difficult to watch, no matter how good i thought the rear projection/stretch fabric dance was.

 any questions or opinions you wanna share hit me up! see you next week!

[herstarburststories]

Freckles Like Stars

A/N: For @amanda-teaches​​‘ 2kWriter+Reader challenge. Love me some AU!Dean from the last ep. I had so much fun writing this one!

Summary: Dean Winchester, son of HunterCorp’s owner, interrupts your hunt.

Words: 4231 (longest oneshot here so far!)

Prompt: I’ll sleep under the sheets. You sleep on top of them.

Warning: Fluff, bit of angst if you squint, season 15 related but no major spoiler.

Your breath was caught in your throat, avoiding allowing even the smallest noise to come from you. You were observing your supernatural prey from afar, armed with a revolver full of silver bullets and aiming at your target. You bit your lower lip, the flavor of apple lipstick spreading through your mouth as you clicked off the safety. The werewolf was right in your crosshairs when you heard pacing behind you, causing your shot to follow a different angle. It barely hit the werewolf’s shoulder.

Swearing through mumbles you turned around, prepared to kill whatever was after you. Maybe it was a pack of werewolves and not just one. You could hear the previous monster whining as they ran away, and you wished you could murder who was at the barrel of your gun.

“You made me miss the bitch!’’ You pulled the safety back on, putting the weapon under the hem of your jeans to glare at the Winchester in front of you. “You again? Come on!’’

Pulling his hands down, Dean relented after coming to the short conclusion that there was no imminent danger of being accidentally shot by you: “I apologize. It wasn’t my intention.’’ 

You grunted. The mere sight of him alongside the fact that the werewolf had just ran away after a grazing shot was enough to frustrate you for the night. “I already said no to your precious HunterCorp invitation in the most polite way that I could. So here’s something new: you can take your little cooperation and go fuck yourself right up your spoiled ass.’’

“If I remember well enough, your polite decline was very similar to your... outburst.’’ Dean threw a smirk, and you aimed your gun at him in response. He gulped, tugging at his cardigan’s collar. “I didn’t intend to invade your hunt. I wasn't notified that someone was taking care of it.’’

“Obviously, because I don't answer to anyone, much less you. Now step the fuck away from my case or I will make sure you choke on holy water.’’ You started to walk away, leading towards your car. The hunt was done for tonight, but you certainly could hit a bar and have some fun. 

“I can't do that. I already started the protocol—’’

“Shoot it! Burn it! Give it to a dog! You could even lie on it. I don't care,“ you interrupted him, the noises of crunching sticks and leaves under your feet while you looked for your vehicle.

Dean gasped, barely trusting his ears to listen to your blasphemy of his work. “I would never lie on an official report! What do you take HunterCorp for?’’

Dear lord, you wished it was a werewolf behind you earlier or that you could at least shoot him. Just a bit, perhaps a grazing one. Which kind of hunter got so offended about paperwork? And wore a dumbly cute hippie bracelet? It was a mystery how a random creature hadn't ripped it yet.

“A bunch of self-centered bitches trying to control the hunters for the financial benefit of their investors.’’ You swirled, facing him with a lopsided grin. “Listen, Dean, I just want to finish my job, get a whiskey and go to bed before I have to come to this forest again.’’

“I'm certain we can do it faster if we work together.’’

You rolled your eyes. “Sorry, buddy. I made myself a promise when I was little: never work with a guy who dresses like Ken.’’

“I don’t look like Ken! If anything, I’m a Superman.’’ Dean huffed. You finally reached your car, throwing the gun inside the trunk while you laughed at his remark. Thankful for the night hiding his heated cheeks, he insisted, “Listen, I can’t abandon a hunt and I could assist you.’’

You sighed, beyond tired to argue with him. It was better to accept his help now than have him mess up with the job again. After all, he was a decent partner in Mexico with John when you bumped into the same case back there. “Okay. You know what we do now?’’

“Find a quiet place and work on the case until it's time to sleep,“ he stated simply, brushing the dust off his pants. When his eyes laid on your face again, Dean caught your furrowed brows and slightly cracked mouth in mild surprise. Maybe you weren't used to taking the most healthy route in self-care when it came to hunts; most rookies on HunterCorp weren't either. Quickly, he explained himself, “A healthy sleeping routine is important for our performance during the hunt.’’

“Your adrenaline can do anything a good night of sleep would. Maybe even more.’’ You winked at him playfully. “If you want to work with me, let's do it my way. Lucky you, my way is much more fun than yours.’’

Your fingertips stroke against the pool table, the feeling of the green-colored acrylic fabric bringing a grin to your face. You looked up at Dean and how out of touch he was in the atmosphere of a callous bar with his cardigan and country club styled clothing. The hunter looked stupidly handsome, especially with the obvious frown on his face as he watched you.

Grabbing one of the available pool cues, you threw it at Dean who was fast to grab it. “Let’s play, Winchester.’’

“I’m not against relaxing, but we are in the middle of a case, (Y/N).’’ He scoffed, resting the end of the stick against the floor — a usual beginner's mistake. You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Have you ever played pool before?’’

“What? Of course I — ’’ You tilted your head, gesturing to the way Dean held the stick. His cheeks flushed pink. “No, I have not. I — I don’t usually come to places like this.’’

“You mean a bar? It’s basically the headquarters of a hunter!’’

He shrugged, clutching the cue closer as he spoke, “I go to bars, just not like this. Besides, dad prefers me and my brother to drink from his homemade collection. He likes to spoil us.’’

Part of you wanted to make fun of him, nudge the man a bit more. Which kind of hunter drank homemade beverages, was spoiled of all things and didn’t go to quality dubious bars on a daily basis? If you weren’t aware of his last name, you wouldn’t even believe he was one of your kind.

Yet, you didn’t tease him. Dean’s head hung low and the way he so openly admitted he didn’t fit that place, yet came because you called him felt like an indication that there was a real hunter in there somewhere. The green-eyed man might have invaded your hunt, but he could be a tolerable company. It had nothing to do with how cute he looked with his blushed face. Of course not. He wasn’t the type you’d normally go to, neither you were his, that’s for sure. Besides, Dean was basically the right arm of HunterCorp. So, no. It was just a matter of not being an asshole towards him again. 

Whatever you internally convinced yourself, your voice was tangled with a gentle smile and a softer tone when you spoke now than when you first met him. “Okay, country boy. I’m gonna teach you. Come here.’’

He walked towards you with hesitant steps, probably waiting for you to trick him in some way. You grabbed the pool cue from his hand, placing the stick in the correct spot to hit the cue ball right into the triangle of colorful ones. Grabbing his wrist, you pulled him closer. “Hold here.’’

“Dean, relax!’’ You placed one of your hands on his waist for support, the free one adjusting his posture around the pool cue for more efficiency. He swallowed around the lump in his throat, nervous for having you that close to him. Dean’s heart was racing the way it did when he was in a hunt or driving a bit too fast. It felt good in a different kind of way, like he was running to win a competition and sitting at the table telling funny stories at the same time. He liked it; he wanted more. “Okay, now you gotta to get the white ball.’’

“All right.’’ He mimicked your position, leaning in with both hands gripped tight around the cue stick. Whoever looked at Dean’s features would potentially conclude that he was about to commit an assassination with the way his brows were drawn tightly together, body laced with a tense rigidity.

Being that close to him made your skin tingle. Sure, you could admit he was conventionally attractive when you first met him, but this? The eldest Winchester had never quite evoked much more than passing interest before, but this newfound attraction suddenly struck you like a comet in the middle of a dingy bar. 

“I know it’s not your daddy’s homemade scotch, but I swear you are going to like it.’’ You slapped the counter with a glimmer of delight on your face, sure of your drinking choices. Whiskey might be the love of your life, but you would always have a soft spot for cocktails. Besides, you were certain that Dean would be crazy about this one.

“Let’s see what you’ve got, (Y/L/N).’’ He winked in a humorous way, and you chuckled. The waiter put the drinks on the table, two gorgeous glasses full of a pineapple, vodka, and god knows what else mixture. You pushed one of the cups towards him, your eyes glued on Dean’s as he arched an eyebrow. He grabbed the cup, sticking the straw between his lips before sucking it.

Your cocktail was untouched in hand while you viewed him with a wide-eyed gaze. Maybe the earlier beers and pool playing had gotten to you. Dean pulled the glass away, a stoic expression in place when he looked back at you.

You were about to slap him for creating more suspension than necessary, thinking that he might not have liked it. Instead, his features dimpled in a softer manner, eliciting a light-hearted smile that almost made your chest sigh of adorableness. “It tastes heavenly!’’

“I knew you would like it!’’ You clapped your hands together, both of you temporarily lost into a burst of joyous laughter. Raising your own cocktail, you took a sip before adding, “Now, let me introduce you to the main course: cheap hamburger and fries. You will never want fancy things again. And then, darts! You had good aim in Mexico. Let’s see if you can put it on use.’’

“See you tomorrow!’’ You beamed at him, waving with your keys as you trotted to your car. Dean’s mouth was torn into a grimace. It was the same one he had given you when you said you were going to drive after drinking a bit too much.

“Let me get you home safe, (Y/N). We can call a cab or I can at least make sure you won't crash on your way to the hotel.’’

“First of all, it's a motel.’’ You winked at him jokingly, but Dean just crossed his arms on his chest. God, it felt like being lectured by a professor. You were a hunter! Your tolerance was well beyond the levels of an alcoholic coma, and you still killed monsters after another glass. You didn’t need to be looked after. “I'm not your date, Dean. You don't have to do it. Besides, I can take care of myself.’’

His expression fell at your speech. “Well, still. I'm just worried about your wellbeing for our hunt tomorrow.’’

“Don't worry. I'll make sure to be alive.’’ You unlocked your car, opening the driver's door. Dean sighed, picking up his phone to see if there was an Uber near his location. Elbows resting on the hood of your beloved vehicle, you stared at him for a few moments, analyzing the curve of his pursed lips as he texted out something on his phone. The midnight breeze felt good, and you deliberately coughed to catch his attention. Dean rapidly abandoned his phone to meet your eyes. “’I'll let you know once I get home.’’

You should consider his ensuing smile nothing but polite, but, in your nearly tipsy state, you didn't want to.

You threw the crumbled napkin on the table. “I think you are right. We should check it. Come on, let's go in my car. Driving around the city in different ones isn't smart.’’

Dean nodded, placing perfectly straight dollars near your used paper as you both stood up. “Yeah, it would be more practical. Do you have enough werewolf-killing bullets?’’

You hummed in response, following the path to your old road friend; a very well-preserved Chevrolet classic. The previous times that Dean had encountered you, it was too dark to actually look at that masterpiece of a car, and now he simply couldn't stop admiring it. Your Baby was broken when you encountered his father, so you had to use one of Jimmy Novak's old cars as yours waited for you to have time to fix her up.

“Impala 67. My mom bought him and it just kept in family.’’ You grinned, enjoying the way he carefully caressed the hood and smiled, impressed. “’Wanna drive?’’

“I — Really?’’ You giggled at how flustered he seemed, throwing your keys at him. Dean almost didn't catch them, probably stunned by your proposal.

‘'Just don't crash Baby, Winchester. I'd kill you.’’

“I know it's not your usual five star hotel, but at least we have free ice!’’ You spread your arms in a kidding manner, soon regretting such a decision with a wince of pain. Werewolves’ nails were sharper than any of your knives. You should grab some after the monster was gone for good and turn them into a weapon.

Dean remained in silence when he arrived at the room, closing the door with you balanced carefully in his arms. It was strange for him to be that quiet around you. With your hold tightening on the improvised — a plastic bag with ice cubes — cold compress, you looked up at him. His expression twisted into a grimace as he glanced around and headed towards your current bed, laying you carefully on the mattress. You thought you had passed his spoiled surface, but maybe he was just what you saw. Irked, you didn’t miss the opportunity to bite him about it. “’What? Not enough for you and your five hundred dollars shoes?’’

His response was a straight, harsh tone that poorly camouflaged his obvious worry. “Not enough for someone injured.“

Dean’s words made your stomach spin brutally. The hint of guilt coupled with the irritated wound on your leg that made you want to puke. All he had been was nice and awkwardly friendly and helpful, yet you were mostly rude. It probably had annoyed him.

He was quiet, internally eating the blame for leaving you open during the hunt’s most delicate stage — the execution. The Winchester was furious at himself, but mostly guilty for being the one to cause you to go through this. You were hurt and were going to feel even more agony during the patch up because of him. Although he highly doubted you would accept it, the hunter couldn’t help but mourn for his own first-aid kit. With it, he could’ve at least given you a sedative. At least the hunter could try to distract you from the inevitable ache.

Fortunately, you were very talkative.

“I don't have anything against you. I seriously don't. I'm just not a fan of corporations.’’ You attempted to articulate your feelings as he placed you on the mattress. Dean didn't answer you right away, rather focusing on the poor excuse for medical supplies he had brought from your car. God, you needed to get more useful first-aid. Why was the best thing you had cartoon-related band-aids? At least you had some Scooby Doo ones. “Getting paid to save people doesn't seem fair, you know? Would you pay Superman to save your ass if you were falling from a building?’’

“Perhaps the more appropriate question would be why I was on the top of a building to begin with?’’ he finally asked, his terse silence receding in favor of his usual dorky demeanor. A chuckle blossomed from your lips despite the werewolf’s painful autograph on your leg, relief settling in for awareness of not having hurt his feelings. He grabbed some scissors, cutting your jeans until up to your knee. “I'm joking. Dad made an empire from the ground up while he raised Sam and I. He helped people. I am very proud of my old man. He needed to find a space between taking care of me and Samuel and saving others.’’

“And it isn't possible to be a hunter and something else. It's this life or another.’’ You completed in recognition. John’s work was really impressive, mainly because he was a good father above any hunting business. You chewed on your lower lip to restrain a groan when Dean started to clean the wound. “I guess I can understand it.’’

“At least we don’t fake credit cards and pretend to be the FBI.’’

“Shut up, summer clothes. You have two private planes and a pool bigger than them,” you remarked, a lighter feeling enveloping the room despite your momentary protest from the physical discomfort. Willing to tease him a bit more, you said, “Still, you are here with me.’’

He tried to brush it off with a shrug. “Dad likes to spoil us. Maybe I wanted to see what the other side could have been. You know, not being a... How did you say it? Spoiled little rich boy in an expensive cardigan.’’

You giggled at his justification, almost whispering your reply, “Or you are here because you got worried about me.’’

“That's a possibility…’’ Dean admitted before locking his green eyes with yours, rosy red cheeks not going unnoticed by you. “You should consider our proposal. No one should depend on bar games and fraudulent credit cards to eat everyday. Especially when they are trying to help people.’’

“I don't wanna be an underling, Dean. It's easy for you. You are the boss' kid. I'd just be an employee. A minion. Someone who doesn't have the last word.’’

“That's not how we function. They wouldn't take away your free will. I can assure you of that.’’ You looked away once his sincerity rattled through your head, glaring at his improvised cold compress that laid on your belly. Dean continued working on your wound, occasionally asking if it was aching until he was finished. “So, is it okay?’’

“Best stitching job I've had in awhile. Thank you.’’ You gave him a grateful beam, twinkles of shyness glimmering there that you hadn’t experienced in a very long time. You couldn't even remember the last time you’d felt anything near timid around a guy. You barely knew why you were in such a state now.

Perhaps you did. Dean cared about you when you got hurt, allowing the werewolf to storm away to cease your pain. It was more than tactical wisdom. He made you feel more as a human being than a hunting partner in the last 24 hours. When was the last time someone had treated you like that? You didn’t even notice you missed the glimmer of kindness inside the tender touch and go moments with other people around usual violence of the life you had chosen. 

Dean nodded his head in acknowledgement, examining your patchworked wound for a little longer before he got up and grabbed a lonely chair next to you. “What are you doing?’’

“Getting as comfortable as possible to sleep.’’ He scowled, squirming in his chair to find a less displeasing way to doze. “You are still hurt. What if the werewolf or something else comes here?’’ You sighed; he was right. “Now rest.’’

You pouted. “Stop giving me orders that make sense!’’

There was something pleasantly refreshing about the sounds that the both of you echoed, but in that moment, exhaustion won. At least, that rest felt complete.

Dean shifted a lot in efforts to find a more bearable position to rest, but he didn't seem to be able to stay in one place. The scratching noises from the friction of his clothes with the aimchair were starting to disturb you, and you weren't the most patient person after being attacked by a monster. 

“Dean.’’ You sat on the bed, glaring at him.

He sat straight, suddenly alarmed. “What? Did you hear something?’’

“Yes, the noise of you humping the chair.’’

“I wasn’t!’’

“Sure. Come here.’’ You patted the spot next to you, Dean’s mouth dropping half-open as his brows furrowed in confusion. You rolled your eyes. “I’ll sleep under the sheets. You sleep on top of them.’’

“That could work.’’ He thought he was nervous before, but the seven steps to reach your bed felt like a New York marathon. Laying beside you proved that whatever emotions he experienced back at the bar could increase a hundred percent.

As promised, he laid on top of the sheets while you found yourself seeking for heat under them. Your feet were chilly, and Dean sensed it even between the barrier of sheets when you casually touched his with yours. The Winchester crossed his arms, refusing to pull you closer by using the poor excuse of shared body heat.

You laid on your side, and he turned a couple times before resting on his side as well. Your eyes just relaxed into each other's gaze. It was like a secret, silent lullaby. It was vulnerability at its finest, the moment where you feel comfortable in the quietude of the city around someone. You found freckles etched across his face like stars, and Dean discovered that you blinked three times before shaking your hips a bit, as if it made you more cozy in bed. 

You could joke your way out of it. He could comment on how you two should go to his hotel because of many reasons, starting by the fact that it was a hotel, with an h. Nevertheless, you two were content despite the chaos of your own different worlds colliding by way of this tiny, sweet glimmer of happiness.

“Here.’’ Dean handed you a card, but you stood with your arms crossed despite your upbeat mood.

Shrugging, you stated, “I am still not interested in joining the corporation.’’

“I imagined that. For as much as I do not agree with your decision, that isn't a HunterCorp card.’’ Dean curved the corners of his lips into a sweet, exaggerated whisper of a smile, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Raising your eyebrow, you grabbed the piece of paper. In perfect calligraphic script, Dean’s name was scrawled next to a phone number.

“Your number.’’ You took a defiant of joy in it, shifting your glare from the card to his face. He still looked like an adorable mess. You shove the card in your pocket. “God, I can't believe I'll do it.’’ Stepping closer, you grabbed his collar and crashed your lips against his. Dean’s hands easily found their way to your waist after a few moments of surprise, bringing you to him. His stupid lips were as soft as you imagined they would be yesterday, and he kissed you like you were the most valuable thing he had ever put his hands on. “Been wanting to kiss you since yesterday.’’

Dean pecked your lips one more time, missing them as soon as he pulled away.  “I've been wanting to kiss you since we first met in Mexico. I guess I won.’’

“Cheesy.’’ You scrunched up your nose, and he chuckled. “But this!” You pointed at you and him, allowing your intrusive thought to surface. “It doesn’t change one bit of what I think about the corporation.’’

“I know.’’ Dean nodded slightly, too enchanted by your closeness. There was a childish grin lingering on his features as you talked. Jesus, the gorgeous freckles on this man made your head spin.

“Or what I think about your clothes…’’ you teased him, but the words left your mouth more tempered with affection than you would have liked.

The Winchester snorted, pursing his lips. “Yeah?’’

“Or about your stupidly cute bracelet.’’ He chortled as you lifted your arms to lace around his neck, his thumb rubbing warmly into the bare part of your waist.

“We could stay in the city for a bit longer. It’s karaoke night in the bar,’’ Dean mumbled, searching for your neck to offer a gentle peck. 

Between sighs of pleasure, you found the will to finish your sentence with an added dose of firmness: “But if you need to go and do your corporate things... Well, I'll call, Dean Winchester. For real.’’

This time, Dean was the one making the first move, leaning to capture your lips in his again. That was what a kiss should be like. Neither of you wanted it to stop. Maybe he could find another case near here. Perhaps ask Samuel to cover him on the job for a few. And if he didn't, you could always help him trick company procedure to spend a little more time with you.

Dean's sweetheart; @akshi8278 WANNA BE TAGGED? SEND ME AN ASK FOR DM!

[gracereadstoomanybooks]

answering questions I’ve been asked on TikTok✨

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QUESTION: how did you get into reading?

So, when I was in middle school (many moons ago) we had this thing called AR Testing. Basically, you read a book and take a test on it—the questions were things that happened in the book, it was really simple. If you got a good grade, you got points. The more points you earned, the more eligible you were for the reading party at the end of each semester. Me, being the nerd I am, got top of my class because I went through 8th grade level books like it was nothing. The librarian at my school brought me books from the high school to read since everything was easy for me, and alas, my addiction began. And now that I have adult money, it’s a true addiction. Also, telling my father “I’m bored” and his response being, “go read a book or something” so thanks dad.

QUESTION: what’s one book you ALWAYS recommend to people?

This one is tough because I’ve read THOUSANDS of books, but if I had to choose one, it would probably be Confess by Colleen Hoover. I fell in love with her work in high school when I first read Ugly Love, but Confess is the type of book that pulls at your heart strings, y’all. It has everything people love: humor, sexual tension, drama, love. GO BUY THE DAMN BOOK. Or honestly any book by Colleen Hoover—she’s a fucking amazing author.

QUESTION: outside of making TikToks, what do you do for a living?

I currently work at a restaurant and hate every second of it. If anyone tells you to become a server, DONT. It’s not worth the hassle, I promise you. Sure, you can make decent money but the amount of rude customers and shitty tips you receive each shift is very disheartening. If you really need a job, do anything BUT work in the food industry.

QUESTION: what’s your wattpad story about?

First question: which one? I have about 30 drafts sitting there waiting to be posted. But, I’m going to assume you’re talking about the Harry Styles fan fiction I’ve been working on for the past 4 years and haven’t had the courage to post. I’ll tell you a little about it: Elaine Aldridge is forced into a betrothal to a man she’s never met & loathes. She goes to his court and realizes things aren’t what they truly seem. And the guard her future husband sticks on her??? None other than Mr. Harry Styles. Add in some magic & deaths and you’ve got my story— The First Prince. (Honestly, that’s an extremely shitty description so if you wanna check it out go to my wattpad account)

QUESTION: how old are you?

Ahem. . . twenty-one.

QUESTION: what is your dream career?

Being a published author and having people rave about my books. That’s all. Or, an editor for a publishing company. Imagine reading all day and being paid for it🤩

QUESTION: what was your least favorite read of 2020?

I already KNOW I’m gonna get shit for this but....... the wicked king. YALL I LITERALLY COULDNT GET THROUGH IT IM SO SORRY, I STILL HAVENT FINISHED IT

QUESTION: current favorite author?

Sarah. J. Maas. I don’t know what it is about her writing style, but it’s addicting. Throne of Glass is hands down the best series I’ve ever read. A Court of Thorns and Roses is the first book I’ve EVER reread. Her stories truly suck you in and hold onto you—you get lost so easily in her writing and it’s like once you’re done with a series, nothing will compare. Or, at least that’s how I felt after finishing Kingdom of Ash. Honorable mentions: Jennifer L. Armentrout, Penelope Douglas, L.J Shen, Elle Kennedy and Kennedy Fox.

QUESTION: any recommendations/tips to give to a new reader?

I’ve always given this advice to people who want to get into reading: find what you like and start with that. If you like romance, I’ve got a list for you to choose from. Mystery? Another list. Sci-fi? I GOT YOU. Fantasy? Yes! Sports fiction? It might take me a second but I’ll find you a book. Nonfiction? I’m zero help in that category, honestly. The point of the matter is that you’re never going to enjoy a book if you aren’t interested in the underlying topics.

QUESTION: do you ever find yourself comparing your life to fictional life?

Yes. All the time. I daydream about being apart of the Inner Circle and living in Terrasen with Aelin and Rowan. I think about what it would be like to have real powers and a mate. It drives my boyfriend crazy—but he loves me anyway.

QUESTION: what are your most anticipated books of 2021?

Here’s a list:

A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas

The Crown of Gilded Bones by Jennifer L. Armentrout

Gods and Monsters by Shelby Mahurin

Crescent City 2 (Untitled) by Sarah J. Maas

A Vow So Bold and Deadly by Brigid Kemmerer (I just ordered this one & it arrives tomorrow)

Blessed Monsters by Emily A. Duncan

QUESTION: why did you start a Tumblr?

Honestly, I used to love tumblr when I was in grade school (way too young to be on here then but what else is new). I like having an extra space to get my questions and comments out without having to compress it into a 60 second video for TikTok to see. Tumblr is a good place to blog & post things like this.

QUESTION: what’s your favorite song right now?

I’ve listened to Carry You by Novo Amor every day for the past two months and I cry each time.

QUESTION: why write Harry Styles fan fiction?

Simple: I love Harry Styles. I’ve been a fan of him and One Direction since they were on X FACTOR. Read that again. X. Factor. I used to watch their performances on YouTube before WMYB even came out. Of course, I love all of the 1D boys but I was always a Harry gal. And I look up to him in a way—I’ve read things about people wishing they knew him personally and honestly? I would never want to meet him. I like the version of him I’ve cooked up in my brain over the past 10 years. I like the symbiotic relationship I have with his music. Fine Line is a ✨masterpiece✨. HS1 is a ✨work of art✨.

now, some topics I’ve been asked way too many times and want to finally get to:

QUESTION: political views?

the saying “anyone but trump” has been in my brain for the past four years. No, I’m not a republican. No, I’m not a democrat. I like to think of myself as a progressive (ahem, liberal) Did I vote for a democratic candidate? Yes, and I’d do it again and again until the US isn’t one of the worst countries—I’m sorry, businesses— to be apart of. I wanted Bernie but got Biden, and I’m alright with that. And my girl Kamala🥳

QUESTION: how did you feel about the BLM protests?

I went to multiple BLM protests and donated a lot of funds to BLM & other organizations. It’s 2021, people... stop being fucking RACIST. And don’t be afraid to call racist people out! Black Lives Matter, even if no one is posting about it anymore.

QUESTION: thoughts on abortion?

your body your choice, queen! not my uterus, not my problem.

QUESTION: there was a comment on an old video of yours talking about r*pe, why did you delete the comment?

I made a video when I first started my account on TikTok about reading in public and feeling “turned on” by it. Go watch it if you don’t know what I’m talking about. BUT, some ignorant male decided to comment and say “this is how girls get r*ped”. Whew. So. I deleted the comment because ....

I am a victim of sexual assault. Along with a lot of other women. 1 in 5 women have been victims of sexual assault. Talking about being r*ped isn’t funny.

No one else needed to see his comment. I reported it immediately and his account was shut down.

I never got justice for what happened to me, and the fact that some random male—who had never even met me or seen me before my video showed up on his FYP—had the nerve to comment that? Unacceptable.

this question isn’t as controversial but

QUESTION: what’s the best way to get out of a toxic relationship?

okay, let me just start off by saying that the people around you who love and support you are going to be your backbone. Leaving a toxic situation is hard, and every situation is different, but my best piece of advice to offer you is don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your loved ones are going to be there for you when you need them, even if you don’t believe they will. If you explain what’s happening, someone you know and love will drop whatever it is their doing to make sure you get out safely. good luck my babes.

now, back to our regularly scheduled program:

QUESTION: any tips on making tiktoks?

Literally none. I post what I think is funny and relatable and if anyone agrees, I’m satisfied. Even if it’s one view, it’s good enough for me. So I guess my one tip is to not base your life off of an app and followers.

QUESTION: favorite Harry Styles fanfic?

DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE. Duplicity is up there, along with Stall 1&2, and Kiwi. After? Absolutely not.

QUESTION: favorite WEBTOON?

y’all already KNOW. LORE OLYMPUS BY USEDBANDAID. Rachel is a genius and I have reread the series a million times. Hades is my soulmate and Apollo can rot in the fiery pits of the Underworld. also, if we’re talking about other webcomics, reading Walk on Water on mangadex...🤫

QUESTION: favorite movie?

Howls Moving Castle. I will be getting my “a heart is a heavy burden” tattoo very very soon.

QUESTION: I read your Elain theory on tumblr, can you explain a little more?

I thought I was pretty straightforward but I’ll say it again: she is always the “good” one and it’s too suspicious. SJM has already given one Archeron sister a happy ending, Nesta’s is obviously inevitable, but Elain? She has too many options for a happy ending. Lucien, who is her “mate”. Azriel, who is intrigued by her slightly. Her human guy—I don’t remember his name—who is disgusted that she’s not human anymore. Or, alone, planting flowers all day. BUT! My point is that she’s not truly happy. She was forced into the Cauldron just like Nesta. She was ripped away from the life she loved so dearly and didn’t want to give up. The man she was going to marry now hates her guts because she’s a High Fae. She has the perfect set up for a villain plot line and I’m all here for it.

well, that’s all I feel like doing tonight. hope you enjoyed my little q&a! be kind, and talk to you later! byeeee!

[razeluxe]

Razeluxe’s Top Ten Female Characters

Yep. It’s here. A list of my all time favorite ladies in anime/video games. This list was way harder for me than the male version, after compiling my favorites I had like 20 characters so I had to cut it down... I will shout them out somewhere further down towards the end...warning you right now that this is long...I have a lot of thoughts about these characters and I did my utmost to avoid outright posting spoilers - enjoy!

10) Bianchi (Katekyo Hitman Reborn!)

Once again someone from Reborn makes the list. What can I say, they have great characters and omg Bianchi is incredible. She’s Gokudera’s sister that I was harping about on the male list...she develops from this hyper focused girl to a true mother figure who helps care for her group as well as being a mother figure to some of the younger girls. Later on in the series she’s very attentive and always knows the right things to say...she gave some advice to some of the girls about men, especially in one particular episode that I will not mention but if you know it you know it - I was floored with on the nose she is about things...she can read people and situations extremely well and she serves as like this backbone to her group...there’s stuff between her and her brother that are extremely interesting too - this girl despite being there for others has this considerable weight on her that she tells her brother about at the end of the series - Bianchi is a complicated character who really deserves more love - she doesn’t fight often in this anime but she has proven time and time again that you don’t always have to be out on the front lines in an shounen anime to be a great character and also...she’s hot.

9) Emma Millstein (Trails of Cold Steel)

Emma in ways is similar to Bianchi here, being a mother figure as well as President of Class VII but what I find interesting about her character is what she’s hiding, as well as her insecurities. She spends a really long time hiding things because reasons I will not mention because you need to play the series - when she comes out with what she needs to say she really grapples with her feelings as well as her inferiority complex when she compares herself to her sister. She grows though..man does she grow...she starts to believe in who she is and stops doubting herself as hard and she really shines later on in the series. When you see what she can do... Like I said in the other list I have yet to play the fourth game in the series which is coming soon and I know she plays a major part. I also think she’s a great fit for Rean.

8) Velvet Crowe (Tales of Berseria)

Velvet is a character that has an extremely strong drive, comparable to someone that is yet to come on this list. Velvet is betrayed by someone who has raised her and her heart turns cold and she is motivated by hatred and vengeance for the sake of those who were massacred by this person. Velvet is a raw character whose type is rarely explored in this way, the way her personality shifted from being more upbeat and chipper initially to, post hell breakout, using people to get forward in her goals without giving an fudge. There comes a time when her resolution to revenge falters once something happens, anger and sorrow come together and she makes some interesting decisions...Velvet is a morally gray person whom showcases real struggles and real feelings that I’m able to relate to on a personal level...Velvet knows grief and in a world of black and white, she makes mistakes as a result of her PTSD, some more fatal than others and eventually, she learns. It’s ugly to see, but she learns. Her development is unpleasant to watch compared to a lot of characters, however as a result in my opinion she’s one of the most raw/realistic characters in the Tales of Series currently. I said it. Also she’s hot.

7) Rise Kujikawa (Persona 4)

Here’s a girl I wasn’t expecting to put here. Rise is a girl who is also known as Risette and decides to take a break from showbiz by moving to a small town, going to school, working at her family’s business, you know, doing what she considered to be normal girl things. She is very upfront when it comes to her flirting which I like to think is because of her position as a famous idol. She’s really bubbly and animated, but what made me interested in Rise was her voice and her eyes when you first meet her. She looked and sounded empty...and you learn it’s because she sick and tired of portraying this ‘Risette’ character and not being herself. What I like about Rise is after running away from this persona for so long she eventually acknowledges Risette is also her and she makes the choice to only bring her true self to the public. She’s sassy and just has this ability to brighten an entire room. Originally I favored Yukiko in P4 and while I still do like her a lot, after going through Rise’s social link, well...the rest is history. 

6) Milla Maxwell & ‘Fractured’ Milla (Tales of Xillia)

Yep. Both of them. I know they’re different characters however I acknowledge both of them equally and they’re both deserving of this spot on this list.

Starting with Milla Maxwell, what I love about her is her drive. She knows who she is and is willing push herself to fufill her duty. She’s not unlike Velvet who turns away from her emotions to do what she sets out to do, considering emotions to be a distraction from her mission. Made her instantly relatable to me. It makes her come off as uncaring towards other people but her mission is strictly to protect the people in the world. I’ve always imagined Milla as this literal pillar of strength, like when she loses mobility in her legs, she pushes herself even further, nearly killing herself in the process. Heck if you thought Velvet was crazy determined, I mean she is but Milla in my opinion is on a whole other level. What I love about Milla is that she isn’t portrayed as a character who has to second guess or experience things before resolving herself to a choice, she is born with this innately and she does not waver no matter what. She’s not a conventional Tales character who bonds super well with everyone. She has her mission and she’s out to do it. Milla isn’t perfect and her opinion on people is for lack of better word, immature, but she grows to understand people throughout her journey.

Fractured Milla...this character is rife with pain and guilt. This Milla is basically an Alternate Universe version of the actual Milla...on the surface level she’s very aggressive but she carries a different weight compared to the original Milla...she bares a guilt about what happened to another character and her world...she also bears a guilt when it comes to her comparing herself to the original Milla and.. inhibiting the original Milla Maxwell from existing... What I love about Fractured Milla is that she’s a completely different take on a character that I already greatly enjoy, she has her development and her vulnerabilities which the OG Milla didn’t need as much because spoilers, Maxwell stuff. I love her relationship with Elle and Ludger and definitely approve of the LudgerxFractured Milla ship.

Holy Crap this list is getting long, if you need to take a break please do! I’ll wait...you good? Okie doke! Continuing on...

5) Estelle Bright (Trails in the Sky)

I love Estelle so dang much. She’s such a glowing character and a breath of fresh air. She’s tomboyish, she collects sneakers, she’s incredibly headstrong and boy does this girl have a mouth on her lol. Like look at all my Estelle stuff on my tags lol. Oh, I should mention she’s Joshua’s ‘brother’ so you can imagine all sorts of interactions with her hotheadedness and his calm and collectedness. Estelle is such a caring character though, like out of everyone I know in the Trails series, I think Estelle ranks the highest in terms of kindess alone. She doesn’t hide crap for the most part, until...well...oh I’m just gonna say it: she develops and hides her feelings for Joshua. She knows it isn’t right but she can’t help herself...anyway Estelle has this naive outlook when it comes to the world, but when certain heavy things happen Estelle kind of...wakes to the realities of the world and she changes her line of thinking. She becomes more considering of her options during situations for starters and she really starts to become the Bracer she wants to be. I was kind of floored how she allowed her pain and her source of affection (Joshua) to empower her to become a stronger person without being simply lovestruck like how people tend to write ladies. She umm...has this scene with Joshua in SC...and I’m not saying anything more but it to me it’s probably one of her highest signs of development. I’m truly happy with what Falcom has done with this character and I think she’s probably the most developed character in the entire Trails series.

4) Rem (Re: Zero)

I never in my thought I would put a character I only just met this high on my list but wow this character blows me away. Rem is a character who has a major inferiority complex to her sister alongside guilt, yet as a maid she performs her duties and speaks very...proper even though that’s typically not how she truly feels. She’s also a very wary person...one reason she’s so high on this list is because of episode 18 how Subaru gives her a reason to live and fought to save her from herself literally. She becomes this incredibly devoted character towards this goofball Subaru with such tenacity that I have seldom seen. She also falls in love with him and not just because he saved her. Eventually she confesses her feelings at one of Subaru’s lowest points but not due to selfishness. She encourages him through her confession because he failed to stop to realize how much he’s worth to her. She displays a lot of strength in her confession and I think this is one of the most well done confession scenes I’ve ever seen period, even with her insert song playing in the background. That said I’ve only seen up to episode 18 because I honestly don’t know how much better Re: Zero can get from this point. I mean I’ll watch it eventually but I’m in love with these first dozen episodes so much I need an emotional break with all the heartache and the darkness .-. (Also please listen to her insert song omg its so precious https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV3Fu5csdcA  )

Before I list the top three, like my male list I want to at least some other ladies that also did not get into Smash but are still worth mentioning as characters I really like and enjoy, no order here except for the first character because she is hot. Literally. No pictures or additional text here sadly, I mean look how long this post is I don’t even know if all of this will fit ;__;

Lal Mirch (Katekyo Hitman Reborn!)

Athena Cykes (Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies)

Primrose (Octopath Traveler)

Midna (Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Winry Rockbell (Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood)

Makoto (Persona 5)

Sinon (Sword Art Online)

Akane Tsunemori (Psycho Pass)

Rikku (Final Fantasy X)

Ruiko Saten (A Certain Scientific Railgun)

Alisa Reinford (Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel)

Senna (Bleach Memories of Nobody)

                                                 Alright, moving on...

  3) Sara Valestein (Trails of Cold Steel)

Sara leads off the top three. She’s initially Rean’s instructor. She has a sense of humor, loves all things drinking, and is lax on her instructor duties...for the most part. There’s a lot of backstory involving this character that I won’t pile on here but I will say that despite her goofy nature Sara is ridiculously strong and it always amazes me how someone like Sara be so silly and not only be so stupid strong but also have her own moniker known around the world as ‘The Purple Lightning’. She was initially a top ranked Bracer before becoming a teacher. You eventually learn about her past through Rean and how it isn’t always all as happy go lucky as her personality...what I really like about Sara is how her strength is the culmination of all the things she went through. There’s one scene in CS1 where she tells some of her students that if they don’t like her assignments for a school trip, they’re free to team up and beat her to get her to change her mind. Needless to say they got their butts handed to them.

2) Garnet Til Alexandros (Final Fantasy IX)

Zidane’s other half. Considering I write Zidane I’d like to call her Dagger from this point on if you don’t mind .-. (Dagger is her own decided alias based on Zidane’s weapon)  I really love how she can break the norms of your stereotypical princess. When Zidane firsts meets her she’s chasing her down in her castle and she’s trying to leave her castle, something she mentioned had actively trained to do. And she’s leaving because she’s trying to resolve an issue with her mother... Dagger is a very strong character who has no issue taking matters into her own hands when it comes to issues. Holy crap what she does to Zidane at one point...she’s a bold one. She feels really strongly and she goes through a lot of crap, but she comes out stronger for it. She wasn’t one with much experience for the outside world but she takes to it at levels that the well traveled Zidane did not expect...I don’t want say much because of spoilers but she really finds herself as she journeys and goes from strength to strength, really owning her responsibilities. She’s also the main person who helps Zidane in one of his lowest moments... In my opinion these are just some of the many reasons Zidane falls for her more than any other girl...she’s also a Summoner and I love me some Summoners. She and Zidane also go great together and their relationship builds properly in a way that makes sense. Definitely one of my favorite ladies period.

1) Aurica Nestmile (Ar Tonelico: Melodies of Elemia)

Number one is this lovely lady. Aurica is a Reyvateil, Reyvateils are people who have the ability to convert sounds into energy...all Reyvateils are assigned a rank according to how powerful their ability is. Aurica had it rough, being out of her hometown when it was attacked and destroyed, and she took the blame herself, believing she could have made a difference, being a Reyvateil and all...because of all of this she became very withdrawn and her abilties suffered...she was ranked ‘D’ which is one of the lowest classes of Reyvateils. She was picked on and treated like garbage because of her rank...she did make a friend though, a friend that was also a Revytail, one that everyone liked and one Aurica looked up to, which only made her look like more of a shadow than anything else...which did not help her already lacking confidence and low esteem. She has a literal hole in her heart and is emotionally dependent.

I mention all of that because this character for me is extremely relatable to me, she’s had it pretty rough however in terms of development you see her grow like crazy...before she was so deathly scared of people she would instantly shut herself down and repress herself but with some help from her partner Lyner she gets better and starts to believe in herself more...it’s not easy for her though, as she gets stronger and Lyner trusts her with more responsibility she gets attacked through the hole in her heart and her newly built confidence gets shattered and she starts believing she’s defective, that only defective Revytail have these holes in their heart...what I love about Aurica’s story is how real her issues with building up confidence are, she starts from practically ground zero and over time, through a repeat of this vicious cycle I described, goes from being considered one of the weakest Revytail to the strongest 3rd generation Revytail all because someone believed in her. 

I think out of both my male and female lists, Aurica was the only one to make me burst into tears at random points. (not gonna lie Rem came close but she’s not number one here :P) This girl here is one of the firsts ladies I ever connected to in my earlier naive years and back then I didn’t even think it was possible for me to relate to a female this much...

If you got to the end, you deserve a cookie. -offers chocolate chip cookie- This took a lot of thought to write out, there’s so many great characters and I look forward to encountering even more down the road. I may eventually do a list for couples...here’s hoping I won’t have to edit this...

RIP 10/25/2020 I HAD TO EDIT TO ADD SATEN TO HONORABLE MENTIONS ;_;

[shochmonster]

84 Questions

original: https://fuckyeahsurveys.tumblr.com/post/61049002526/84-questions

Put your music player of choice on shuffle and list the first 10 songs Guns of Brixton - The Clash Holiday in Cambodia - Dead Kennedys  Chainsaw - Nick Jonas California - Joni Mitchell Make It Wit Chu - Queens of the Stone Age This Woman’s Work - Kate Bush The Bad Thing - Arctic Monkeys Between the Bars - Eliot Smith Drown - The Smashing Pumpkins Different People - No Doubt

If you could spend a week anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? Would you take anyone with you? I’d take @duoloopo to the UK. I’d like to see places other than London.

What is your preferred writing implement? (eg. Blue pen, pencil, green pen)  I use my iPad stylus the most, but I have this heavy mechanical pencil I really like for drawing. 

Favourite month and why? October. I just love the fall vibe. 

Do you have connections to any celebrities (even minor)? List them. I went to undergraduate school with Rebecca Sugar. We used to ride the bus between NYC and DC together on holidays. 

Name 3 items you could pick up from where you are. Can of seltzer, pencil case, stack of bills

What brand logo is closest to you currently? REAL Skateboards

Do you ever play board games or other non-computer games? Got any favourites? I love Small World and Munchkin. 

A musical artist you love that isn’t well known Laura Stevenson and the Cans

A musical artist you love that is well known Red Hot Chili Peppers

What is your desktop background currently? Thomas Barrow on the beach in the Season 4 Christmas Special

Last person you talked to, and through what you talked to them @duomaxwell02 with my face :O 

First colour name you can think of that isn’t in the rainbow White

What timekeeping devices are in the room you are currently in? Two wall clocks, though one is very old and doesn’t wind anymore. I also have a clock @duoloopo ‘s dad made for me. It’s on the piano. 

What kind of headphones do you use? JBL Bluetooth, noise canceling 

What musical artists have you seen perform live? Foo Fighters (3x), Incubus (3x), Red Hot Chili Peppers, Smashing Pumpkins, Beastie Boys, Audioslave, Justin Timberlake, Troy Sivan, Arctic Monkeys, The Rolling Stones, Eric Clapton, Queen (but with Roger Daughtry, not Freddy... for obvious reasons.). Probably a whole bunch of others I’m blanking on. 

Does virginity matter to you? Not really. 

What gaming consoles do you or your family own? PS4, PS2, PS1, XBox 360, N64, Gamecube, Wii, NES, SNES, various Gameboys, Nintendo DS, PSP

What pets do you have? What are their names? Two cats, Hemingway and Renji

What’s the best job you’ve ever had? I like freelance art gigs the best. As for ‘normal people jobs’, I once was a sign painter for Whole Foods. That was pretty fun, minus the work drama. 

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? Food service. 

What magazines do you read, if any? I’ll pick up Time once in a while

Inspiration behind your URL? My classic original URL was LinkWorshiper and had been since AIM first existed. I picked it because Zelda was the first fandom I ever joined. Now I’ve changed all my handles (except on AO3) to reflect my actual name, as my literary agent thinks it’s more professional. 

Inspiration behind your blog title? Mean Girls. I always chuckle imagining Thomas and Jimmy as some Edwardian version of the Plastics. 

Favourite item of clothing? My Downton livery waistcoat. And the stiff bosomed shirt and collars I have to go with it. 

Are you friends with any exes? Nah. By the time I felt comfortable enough to possibly try, I also didn’t care enough to. 

Name at least one book you loved as a child. His Dark Materials (the trilogy by Philip Pullman). I still love them and am jazzed that he’s writing more these days. 

What’s your native language? If that language has distinct regional variations, which variation? (eg. AU English, US English) US English, mostly a northeastern dialect/accent

What email service do you use? Gmail

Is there anything hanging on the walls of the room you are currently in? So much stuff. I have a mood board full of Downtons stuff over my desk, various DA posters and memorabilia, plus some artwork I’ve done, and some of my JC Leyendecker collection. The aforementioned wall clocks, a San Francisco cable car bell, Sailor Moon and a few other little knickknacks, like my hamsa. To name a few lol. 

What’s your favourite number, and why? 212 because it’s Manhattan’s area code and also because it used to be the notation for one of my favorite ships in an old fandom. 

Earliest moment in your life you can remember? Sitting under the table and looking at my grandma, who was wearing a Cruella Deville dress she’d knit herself. Like, it had the actual Disney character on it. Pretty cool to a little guy, I guess!

What did you have for dinner yesterday? Quesadilla 

How often do you brush your teeth? Whenever they feel gross

What’s your favourite candy/chocolate? Lately, I’ve been into Junior Mints. 

Have you had other blogs on Tumblr? Do you have any other blogs currently? This blog used to have my old handle, linkworshiper. I did a small Whole Foods blog when I worked with them, but it never went anywhere. 

If you were suddenly really hungry, what would you choose to eat? Sushi

What fandoms would you consider yourself a part of? Downton Abbey, though lately I’ve been crazy busy and not as active as I once was. Casually still poking at old fandoms like Zelda and Gundam Wing to name a few. 

If you could study anything, what would it be? More art education can’t hurt. Maybe some formal history education. 

Do you use anything on your lips? (eg. Chapstick, gloss, balm, lipstick) Chapstick 

How would you describe your sense of humour? Seinfeld 

What things annoy you more than anything else? Mouth noises

What kind of position are you in at the moment? Sitting

Do you wear much jewellery? Nope

Who is the leader of your country, currently? Any other levels of government with leaders? (State, region, province, county, district, municipality, etc) Three supposedly equal branches of government, currently being run into the ground by a clown 

Last 3 blogs on your dashboard, not including any of your own @halcyondaze @mab1905 @lavender-hued-melancholy

What do you carry your money in? I try to never carry cash, but I carry a small wallet 

Do you enjoy driving? Why or why not? I like it but sometimes it feels like a chore, especially during a commute. @duoloopo thinks I’m a shit driver so she tries to drive whenever she can, which has pluses and minuses. 

Longest drive you have ever been on? Savannah GA to San Francisco, CA in a UHaul

Furthest away from home you have ever been? Germany 

How many times have you moved house? God, I don’t even know. More than ten. 

What is on the floor of the room you’re currently in, not including furniture? Cat toys, unused canvases

How many devices do you own which can access the internet? Phone, computer, iPad, various game consoles 

Is there is anything that is guaranteed to always make you happy? Thomas and Jimmy <3 <3 

Is there anything that always makes you sad? Thinking too hard about being a failure

What programs do you currently have open? I just rebooted, so only Chrome, Spotify and Photoshop

What do you associate the colour red with? This line in the Kate Bush Song Blue Symphony, which goes, ‘I associate love with red, the color of my heart when she’s dead.’ 

Last strong smell you can remember smelling? The Greek food I ordered in for dinner

Last healthy thing you ate? Roasted veggies

Do you drink tea or coffee, and how much per day? I prefer tea, and I drink coffee for energy, though sometimes I think it just makes me crash harder. 

What do you associate the colour blue with? The sky

How long is the closest ruler you can find? 12 inches

What colour pants/skirt/etc are you currently wearing? Dark blue

When was the last time you drank water? About a minute ago

How often do you clear your browser history? Rarely

Do you believe nude photos can be artistic, rather than erotic? Yes

Ever written fanfiction for anything? Oh God, yes. You can still find it under Link Worshiper on AO3, though some of my ‘classics’ have been removed since I turned them into original manuscripts 

Last formal event you attended My cousin’s wedding

If you had to move your birthday to another date, which one would you choose and why? Maybe inch my birth year up just by two so that I’d stop being called a damn millennial. At my age, I really just don’t relate to the generation even though technicalities make me a part of it. 

Would you prefer to be at a beach or in the countryside? Beach

Roughly how many people live in your town? 52,000

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? Leonard Nimoy :D 

Favourite place to shop? Can be a certain store or a place where there are multiple stores I haven’t really gone shopping since the pandemic. Right now, it feels like the only place to buy anything is Amazon XD

Do you have a smartphone? What kind? If you don’t, do you want one? Samsung. It’s not a Galaxy but is a new model and a fraction of the price. 

What is your least favourite colour, and why? I don’t think I dislike any colors honestly. 

How do you spell grey/gray? Grey. I’ve got too many British online associates to ever go back. 

Go to your dashboard and describe the image shown in the radar section (below the “Find blogs” link) It’s Umbrella Academy fanart of Klaus. He’s in black and white with this hands over his eyes and the background is red. It’s very graphic. 

What difference is there between how many followers you have, and the number of blogs you follow? 736

How many posts do you have? 8,859

How many posts have you liked? I can’t find the stat D: 

Do you post mainly reblogs, or your own content? Mainly reblogs but I pepper in my own content when I can. Lately, I haven’t had time to do as much fanart though, and I kind of feel like it’s not worth bothering to post my original stuff. Nobody follows my blog for that. 

Do you track any tags? No. 

What time is it currently? 7:33 PM CMT

Is there anything you should be doing right now? Waking up @duoloopo. TIME TO JUMP ON THE BED. 

tagging, if they feel like it: @abbys-little-whippersnapper​ @bumblebarrow​ @irrationalgame​ @downtoncat​ @mab1905​ @duoloopo​

and everyone who I’ve forgotten

[razorblade180]

Shackles pt2: Long time no see

Heat, blistering heat almost intolerable by man. Oh how Blake missed it, The sun beamed down over the evenly tanned High Leader as she sat comfortably on the docks. Patiently watching a ship approach while she spoke on her scroll.

Blake:I see a ship with the word pride on it? Is that the one you’re on?

Yang:Yep! Try to look inside the captain space!

She held her hand up to block the sun and squinted the best she could. It was a little difficult but she could make out an interesting site. Behind the wheel of the ship was her dorky blonde hair companion wearing the captain’s hat and swaying her hips.

Blake:Are you.....are you driving the boat!?

Yang:I beat the entire crew in cards so they had to teach me! I’m gonna dock the ship!

Captain:No you won’t!!!

Yang:I am not gonna be the one to dock the ship..... I’m keeping the hat though!

Captain:Fine!

Blake:*giggles* See you in a few minutes.

Yang:More like seconds...

Blake jumped slightly as the sound of a shotgun blast echoed through the air. The intense heat was momentarily blocked as a shade was covered over her. A smile spread gently as she looked up to see Yang free falling while wearing the aviators the blonde couldn’t seem to live without. Blake spread her arms wide and caught her partner; the two beginning to spin around and laugh before falling. The wildness of it all only making their laughter stronger. Anyone around might’ve thought them crazy but honestly it’s a fair assumption to make after all they’ve been through. Yang is the first to get up and takes Blake’s hand to lift her.

Yang:How’d you like my entrance?

Blake:Hmmmm seven out of ten. Needs a better landing strategy.

Yang:That just means you should brace for impact next time. You look good. As in like healthiness that is! Not to say that you don’t actually look good. *rubbing her head* I mean that tan is really-

The cat faunus’s finger slowly goes over her rambling mess of a partner. Yang stares at Blake who is shaking her head playfully. Thoroughly enjoying how fast the conversation spiraled out of control.

Blake:Thank you. I see you’re doing well too. Glowing even.

Yang:Hehehe, aren’t I always?

Blake:Ooooo loaded question. Come on, let’s walk and talk. *walking backwards*

Yang:Pfft, after that insult? Oh how you wound me.

Blake:Be wounded as you walk.

Yang couldn’t believe her ears. Was she being teased? Her of all people? Not just that, but Blake has already gotten a move on so Yang couldn’t even respond back in defiance. Truly she was cornered. Yang had no choice but to follow her. No way she could just let Blake get one over on her like that.

Blake walked with a little bit of a hop in her steps as she passed all her neighbors. Her hands cuffed together and behind her back. It was easy Yang’s foot steps quickly get closer and not slowing down a beat. Patiently Blake watched Yang’s shadow get closer and closer until it was about to touch hers. Right at the last moment, Blake used her semblance to sidestep and watched Yang almost fall forward. The blonde looked to her left to see Blake continue facing forward and trying not to laugh.

Yang:Well look at you. *smiles* All playful and what not. Is this what happens when war is completely over?

Blake:This is what happens when I sleep in my own bed! Which is what I need with all the work being done around here.

Yang:Yeah, starting a new organization seems pretty complicated. Don’t know how you’re managing.

Blake:My dad fortunately. We might still be in the planning stages but it’s pretty well developed because of him. We’re organized, ready to motivate, and the word of group is already around Remnant. Some officials have already visited to see me. Atlas is now reshaping all of faunus related worksites.

Yang:Wow, big moves for sure.

Blake:Very big. Unfortunately we’ve also met a fair share of people who are just fine with how things were and some willing to get violent.

Yang:Makes since. Atlas wasn’t built in a day. It’s still amazing what progress can happen in a couple years.

Blake:As much as I would like to believe that, I can’t. This change that’s been happening. Me in power, it’s been building up for decades. Cooperation, ideals, everything with-

Yang:Gee, you really got your speech skills down packed.

Blake:*red* Hehehehe, you get what I’m saying though.

Yang:Yep, I also get that all of it still needed someone to push all that build up. You’re responsible for this just as much as everyone else.

Blake:......... You know that includes you too right?

Yang:Me!?

Blake:Without you and everyone else I wouldn’t have made it this far. Thanks, you’ve been a big help .

Yang:Yeah? Well... *turns away* all I did was punch a few things. Crack a few jokes, pushed the boundary. No big deal.

Blake:Boy, Jaune sure has mellowed you out.

Yang:*turns back* You take that back! I’m as amped up as ever.

Blake:If you say so.

Has Jaune mellowed her out? Maybe. Yang never thought about it too much. She’s pretty much the same as she’s always been in her head. There might be a few differences but little ones. Well....as of now anyways. Blake however...

Yang:Sun seems to have brighten your life up.

Blake:*stops walking* Yeah. He’s wonderful....

Yang:No doubt. I mean I’m the end, you chose him and all.

Blake:.....

Blake:This conversation was unavoidable wasn’t it?

Yang:Don’t wanna talk about it?

Blake:It’s not that I don’t. It’s just that you literally got here minutes ago to visit me after all this time. I don’t want to blow this with you. I miss my best friend.

Yang:I know. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t miss mine too. So if we really miss each other then we should clear the air. Now then, how is Sun? Don’t hold anything back this time. In case you forgot... *lifts wedding ring* I’m not exactly single and pinning over you dork. *smiles*

Blake:Are you sure? I don’t want to sound rude to you or any-

Yang:You can gush over him...

Blake:*blushing* I’m stupidly in love with him. Like I can’t take it and thinking about it is even more wonderful because I get to tell you.

Yang:*hugs her* I see he’s made you extra emotional.

Blake:Shut up. *hugging her tight* Gods I’m so happy you’re here.

Yang:So am I. Now can you finally show me your house and look at me for more than three seconds.

Blake:Deal. *wiping her eyes* Phew, Welcome to Menagerie!

Yang:Glad to be here.

Blake couldn’t explain it but suddenly things felt different; the heat....didn’t feel intense anymore. The two of them continued chatting as they went to Blake’s home. Both of them making up for lost time by telling stories of crazy missions and hilarious ways both of their parents reacted about the men in their lives as they approached the front door.

Blake:Hahahaha! Tai really challenged Jaune to fight when he proposed?

Yang:I shit you not. One minute Jaune is on one knee with a beautiful sunset proposing. Next thing I know I’m watching him roll out the way and grabbing his shield as my dad is leaping of our roof performing a rider kick. That sunset went from romantic to a dual in almost no time at all.

Blake:I thought your dad liked Jaune.

Yang:He loves him to bits. Doesn’t stop him from going dad mode with every huge milestone.

Blake:Sounds about right. My dad constantly looks like he wants to suplex Sun just for holding my hand.

Yang:Does that mean I should expect a wrestle mania wedding? Can I be the announcer!!!?

Blake:Uhhh sure. If marriage is on the table....

Yang:If? What does that mean?

Blake:You know....if. Just if it happens.

Yang:......

Blake:....What’s up?

Yang:What’s up with you? One minute your laughing and now you’re getting all...Blakey

Blake:I’m just not real big on marriage and “getting Blakey” should not be a term.

Yang:Why not? The marriage thing, not the term. Aren’t you in love with him?

Blake:I am but so much is happening. So much is always happening. My whole life has been jumping from one rebellious group fighting for freedom to the next. I can tell he’s up for it which only makes me feel bad! Trying to change the world as I am now is already daunting and hard to do at times. Being married, all the legal and perception changes that come with it is just another layer. Maybe if things slow down....

Yang:You never slow down. Ruby pumps the brakes more than you and that’s saying something. Plus you’re always changing as far as perception goes and so do the things around you. What’s one more to the list. This one is vow that you would never do it alone. I don’t know about you but that’s a change I think everyone needs. After all, who knows what it could bring? A mess or the answer you’ve been looking for.

Blake:.....I’ve told you that I’m really glad you’re here right?

Yang:About a thousand times. You can tell me it more once we’re inside.

Blake:*Grabs knob* Sounds like you everything in life figured out.

Yang:Hehe almost everything. One thing I actually wanted to talk about was how I’m-

Blake:Something is wrong.....

Yang:Huh?

Blake:The door. It’s not locked.

Yang:Your parents?

Blake:Dad’s on trip until later today. I know I didn’t forget to lock it.

Yang:Blake. Look at the ground.

Sand was all over the the doormat. Blake slowly opened up the door carefully; sand was on the otherside too. Someone had broken in and by the way Blake’s ears started to perk up they were still hanging around. Her left hand moved to rest on her sword as she pushed the door open some more. No one was there and the lights were still turned off.

Blake:Looks like I have an unexpected guest.

Yang:Who would be bold enough to break into here? A radical like the ones you mentioned?

Blake:Don’t know. Let’s find out. Scouting formation.

The two of them walked into the house with Blake in front and sword drawn. Yang was crouched lower and behind her using her hair to dimly light the surrounding area. If Yang was looking in one direction then Blake looked the other. Each step synchronized perfectly. Time might have had effected their feelings but not the years of team work. Ruby made sure to drill each formation into their very being. It’s what kept the alive; in more ways then one.

Blake abruptly stopped and looked at the ceiling. One ear wiggled while the other motioned back and forth to communicate with Yang. The intruder was upstairs and moving forward to the staircase to walk back time. Perfect timing for them. Yang slowly backed up and closed the front door quietly to once again fill the room in absolute darkness. Not one sound was made by them. Right now the space around them was nothing but an abyss with the sound of old wood creaking like bones. Blake reeled gambol shroud back towards the floor. The instant the tip of blade tapped the ground the plan was set up. Yang’s hair lit up like a Christmas tree and flashed the entire room in less than a second. The flash bang caused the intruder to cover their eyes in shock and was rewarded with Blake driving her leg sweep theirs as well as a blade to the throat the moment they fell.

Blake:I got em!!!!!

Yang:*opens door* Good, now let’s see who-.... you!?

Jacquelyn:Ow...Nlice to see you too.

Blake:Jacquelyn!? What are you- how are you here? *picking her up*

Jacquelyn:Wrong questions. The only thing that matters is why I’m here. I need your help Blake. It’s Adam; he’s missing.

Blood felt like ice at those words. The more light that was let in showed the young maiden’s condition. Her clothes were noticeably soiled. Not to mention how much of a mess her hair was. It was frizzled their was tiredness in her eyes; body tense with anxiousness. This wasn’t a prank or a dream. You don’t meet someone you haven’t seen in a couple years for that.

Blake:Missing? What do you mean missing?

Jacquelyn:I...I don’t know!? I was out getting food and ended up hunting all through the night. Moment I come home he’s...he’s just not there! There wasn’t a note or anything! Not even foot prints because of the sand and-

Blake:Wait wait wait......sand? He vanished here in Menagerie? Why would you come here?

Jacquelyn:We......we’ve sort of been living in the desert.

Blake:You’ve been here the whole time!?

Jacquelyn:There’s not many places we could go! The world thinks he’s dead so we thought we should go someplace no one goes to. The desert here is like hiding in plan sight.

Blake:Do you have any idea what would happen specifically someone here sees him!? So many things would be called into question. I might be called into question...

Jacquelyn:Listen, I did not come here for a lecture Blake.

Yang:Then why did you come here? No offense but he’s got another thing coming if he’s trying to-

Jacquelyn:Help me.

Blake:What?

Jacquelyn:I want....I need your help to find him. You know I wouldn’t ask unless I meant it.

Yang:Take it from me, chasing people who run away is a waste of time.

Jacquelyn:He didn’t run away! Something else happened.

Blake:*eyes widened* Something else like what? Abduction?

Jacquelyn:I..... don’t know. Maybe? Or a grimm caught him off gaurd.

Yang:You’re joking right? Do you really think-

Jacquelyn:Hey! Last time I checked I wasn’t talking to you so butt out! *eyes glowing*

Yang:Watch your tone with me.....*red*

Both women glared intensely as Yang walked closer before Blake’s arm held her back for the sake of the house. She helped Jacquelyn up then stood in between them.

Blake:Calm down! Both of you!

Yang:....She started it. *crosses arms*

Blake:Yang, please....

Yang:......Sigh *lilac*

Jacquelyn:*calming down* I apologize. If you haven’t noticed I’m a bit one edge. Not really making a strong case for why I should get help.

Yang:Yeah no kidding. Do you have any proof that he’s been taken anyways.

Jacquelyn:N...no..... I just ugh, he wouldn’t simply run off okay!? He’s not like that. Not at all. Blake you believe me right? *takes her hand*

Blake:Well, I couldn’t say. Wouldn’t be the worst thing he’s done. Jacquelyn maybe he was bidding his time to-

Jacquelyn:*tearing up*Things are different. He’s changing; really changing. I’m not saying Adam is a brand new person or doesn’t have things to iron out but there’s no way he’s just gone. I’d put it on my mother’s grave. So please, help me find him.

Blake:.....

Blake:I can help when my parents get out the meeting.

Yang:Huh!?

Blake:I’ll go to your house and see if there’s anything you mi-

Yang:Wait! Just.....

Yang grabs her arm and walks her a few feet from Jacquelyn and keeps her voice low.

Blake:What?

Yang:There’s no way you’re actually helping with this are you?

Blake:So what if I am?

Yang:So what if- this is Adam Taurus we’re talking about. He’s really someone you are about to go on a search for after getting rid of him? Do you really believe he’s different? Doesn’t she sound like a certain someone?

Blake:I get that it sounds crazy.

Yang:Insane actually.

Blake:But what if it’s true? What if.... he is different? You were there with me when we broke Jacquelyn out. Even back then something felt strange about him.

Yang:Because we thought he was dead until that moment! Blake are you even listening to yourself? We’re supposed to be reconnecting. When I wanted to reminisce about the past this wasn’t what I had in mind.

Blake:I know. That’s why I’m not making you tag along.

Yang:Time hasn’t been well to you if you honestly think I’m not going. For all you know it could be a trap she’s in on. It took two of us to beat him after some chance circumstances. Now we have a maiden to deal with. Are you really gonna take that chance?

Blake:.......

Blake:Yang.......I can’t walk away from this. Trap or not, I have to see it with my own eyes.

Yang:........*shaking*

Blake:........

Yang:Damnit, always feisty about the most dangerous things.

Blake:You used to love it.

Yang:I still do. A lot more things to lose this time around though, but I guess that’s always been the case. The moment I think this is a wild goose chase then I’m out. Hopefully by that point so are you.

Blake:You still don’t have to go at all.

Yang:We must be out of touch if you really think that’s a choice. *looks at Jacquelyn* Have you eaten? You look starving.

Jacquelyn:I..I haven’t eaten at all today. Everything has been happening so fast.

Yang:Yeah well it looks like things are about to get faster. Wash up and eat. We’ll head out at dusk. I’m gonna make sure I have everything I need. *walks off*

Jacquelyn:Thank you.....

Yang:I’m not doing this for you. *closes door*

Blake:Hey, let’s get you cleaned up okay?

Jacquelyn:*nods* I’m grateful, truly I am.

Blake:Well this is as big of a deal for you as it is for me.

She said nothing else as she walked off to the bathroom. Blake tried to hide it but there was doubt on her face. Who could blame her? Jacquelyn sure couldn’t, but there was no one else who she could turn to. Her hands were tied and she was running on borrowed time. It took all her strength to hold back her tears she gently held her stomach.

Jacquelyn:(I wouldn’t be too sure of that....)

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.31 (Gordo’s Bar Mitzvah)

Here we have Gordo with his never-before-seen therapist parents

- Walking along the school hallway are Lizzie and Gordo who are talking about a movie they’ve just seen (Planet of the Apes I’m guessing?). Miranda interrupts them and informs Lizzie that Ethan is getting a dirtbike for his birthday.

- And of course, Gordo still doesn’t care. Will he ever stop complaining about his friends talking about Ethan in the way they do or at least stop pretending to be so oblivious towards understanding their attraction towards him? I get it; They tend to act a little over the top but sometimes it’s okay for them to have their fan-girl moments.  

They do love a man in a uniform, huh? 

- Larry then shows up and asks what all the fuss is about to which Miranda excitingly replies to him saying that Ethan is all grown up. It is revealed that Larry has already started to shave. Hence why he has little bits of would tape all over his face to cover his cuts from the razor blade I suppose. Yikes!

To me, he looks like he has zits that he had covered up

- So, it looks like both Ethan and Larry are starting to go through the stages of maturity or puberty, which Lizzie notices as well. And she even compares them to Gordo and concludes that they are maturing faster than him, which is true but she doesn’t need to say it because that kinda low-key offended Gordo.

If You Didn’t Know, Gordo is Jewish

- At the school courtyard during lunch soon after, Gordo starts acting weirder than usual as he calls Lizzie, Elizabeth and Miranda as Miss Sanchez. He definitely feels like he is falling behind the other boys in his grade and is trying to overcompensate.

- He is also facing the added pressure from his parents on deciding when his Bar Mitzvah ceremony should be since he is Jewish. If I’m not wrong, isn’t this the first time that Gordo has revealed to us that he is Jewish? And clearly, his friends probably haven’t asked him much questions about his religion because they are finding out about all of this at the same time as we are.

Lizzie wants that money honey 

- Gordo goes on to explain what goes on during the ceremony, which sounds really exciting, especially the getting money part for Lizzie and Miranda lol. He also notes that his parents are leaving it up to Gordo on when he wants to have his Bar Mitzvah because for them, growing up, they didn’t have much of a choice. How progressive of his parents!

-  But Gordo feels like he missed his chance since he already turned 13. Plus, they just don’t see the value of being considered an adult at that age just because it’s technically not an adult age. 

When Does a Boy Become a Man?

- The next day, Gordo tells his friends that he had actually interviewed a few men about their journey in becoming full-fledged men, which actually includes both Lizzie and Miranda’s dads. How did he manage to do all of that in one night? Impressive.

Hold up! Weren’t these two guys in the episode, Rated Arghh? Like wasn’t the guy on the right choking on a sourball and Lizzie had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on him? And also, why are they always seen together? Hmm....

- Edit: Their names are actually David Rosen and Jeremy Bargiel both on-screen and in real-life. They were actually writers on the show. How neat! And I also discovered that the writers on Lizzie Mcguire considered them to be a couple on-screen but they weren’t given the opportunity by Disney to make their relationship explicit.

- The interview features all of these men explaining the moments in their lives where they felt like they have become men and it’s usually with their own dads. For instance, for Sam, it was when he first started to learn how to drive and for Eduardo, Miranda’s dad, it was when he first met his wife, Daniella. 

- Their stories have inspired Gordo to do the same things as them in hopes of  becoming a man himself. And we get a compilation of him doing just that from driving a car to attempting to get a tattoo. I thought you must be at least 18 to be allowed to get a tattoo? I need to stop seeing things from our own reality lol.

Whose car is that anyways?

- Unsurprisingly, things don’t go as planned and Gordo is feeling disappointed. He really wants to know the exact moment where he crosses over into manhood. I mean, as an adult myself, you really don’t know when exactly the moment is. For me, it was when I started paying taxes lol and that was at the age of 22. So yea...

- I appreciate Lizzie and Miranda for trying to relate to Gordo and sympathize with him. In some way, boys and girls share similar experiences when it comes to puberty but I guess it’s much easier for Gordo to have an actual guy friend to talk to about all of this stuff. I mean, I’ve been saying this all along; Gordo needs a guy friend his age!

Another emotionally-charged moment between Lizzie and her dad

- At home, Lizzie tells her dad about the issues Gordo’s facing and Sam reminisces to her about his time as a kid and honestly, it was beautiful to hear what it was like for him. It warms my heart because the things he did as a kid that he remembers after all these years were so innocent. He also touches on the responsibilities of being an adult and a dad and how it’s rewarding being able to go to bed at night knowing that he has provided for his family.

We Finally Meet Gordo’s Parents! 

This is not a drill everyone! Here are Gordo’s therapist parents in the flesh!

- Gordo is discussing with his parents about the Bar Mitzvah he was supposed to have almost a year ago and he expresses how he doesn’t feel like they should have let him decide on when his ceremony should be since it’s already too late. 

- His parents, whose names are Howard and Roberta Gordon tell him that it isn’t too late and they think he is ready because they can see that their son has put a lot of effort into researching about the ceremony. Oh and it’s so cute that they watch every single film he has made to date. Gordo now feels like he’s ready. Finally lol.

- Towards the end of the episode, we are taken to Gordo’s highly-anticipated Bar Mitzvah ceremony! 

Lizzie and Miranda always makes great fashion choices

Miranda’s parents are also there as well. Love these two!

- We then see Gordo on-stage giving a speech about his transition in becoming  a man. To summarize, he says that the moment that marked his transition should be something that’s right for him. He also mentions about the different stories from the various men he interviewed and how he is able to realize who he is and the kind of person he isn’t. Lastly, he just sees his Bar Mitzvah as the mark of this transition instead of a tattoo, a dirtbike or any other sort of thing. 

It’s amazing how Gordo invited all of the interviewees to his special day. Also, Larry and Ethan were invited too! So does this mean that he’s friends with them? Or did he just invite his entire class?

- He then reads a portion from the Torah, all in Hebrew. Despite myself not understanding a single thing, it sounded beautiful. 

What a way to end an episode!

B-Plot: Sam Is In-Charge

- What’s an episode of Lizzie Mcguire without having to watch Matt’s crazy (or annoying) antics? This time, he was caught stealing oranges from a tree that belongs to their neighbor, Mrs Robinson...for the 4th time that week. 

- When Sam tells Mrs Robinson, “Boys Will Be Boys”, I rolled my eyes because that’s one of the weakest excuses for poor behaviour. I gotta be honest. Even Jo was looking at her husband in disbelief.

- Matt is much more precarious that the average 10/11 year old. He even sold her oranges to his classmates at school to make a profit. I mean, that’s pretty smart of him to do but it all gets crossed out because they weren’t his oranges in the first place. 

Look at Sam trying to discipline Matt. You sure showed him...

- Jo, who I actually thought would severely punish Matt pulls the classic move that usually works on Matt, which is basically to not do anything. It’s just like in episode 1.2 (Picture Day), where she went along with Matt pretending to be sick to the point where he actually suffers in the end. This time, she is leaving her husband in-charge of the disciplining. This definitely isn’t going to end well. Poor Sam!

- Later on, we see Sam trying to be the disciplinary of the family and let’s just say he isn’t doing a good job. And it doesn’t help that Matt is being completely uncooperative and coming up with excuses for his actions. I wish Matt would try acting this way in an Asian or African household. He would be running for the hills lol. 

- Jo witnesses all of this and decides to stay quiet and let her husband handle it as planned. That’s pretty much what she does for every complaint that they’re getting from their neighbors as one after the other pays a visit to their house with Matt by their side to tell them what pesky little thing Matt had done to them this time. Let’s see how long that will last.

This one takes the cake for me. But hey, at least Coco looks pretty cute with that look

- Sam seems to be a his wits end about all of this but he isn’t doing a good job coming up with Matt’s punishments. The most he can dish out is sending Matt to his room. But Jo isn’t the one to talk; her punishments are that much worse either. 

- As this plot progresses, we can see that Sam is surprisingly starting to go a little overboard with the punishments and doesn’t know what the right balance is because for something as small as oversleeping, he punishes Matt by making him clean the house, mow the lawn and wash his car. Wow, that is intense. Sam needs to use a little bit of common sense here. 

We can see here that Matt misses getting punishments from his mom and that Jo misses giving him punishments. Umm, okay. Anyways, this whole plot ends with Jo going back to be the main disciplinary for the kids. 

Overall Thoughts

- And there we have it! The last episode review for Season 1! This season definitely ended on a high note. This is probably my favorite Gordo-centric episode thus far because I was able relate to Gordo’s personal struggles. And I’m sure a lot of other boys and even girls were able to relate to this as well.

- It’s wonderful to see Jewish culture being portrayed on a Disney Channel show just like how Andi Mack did it years later with the character, Cyrus Goodman and they did a great job introducing the different elements of a Bar Mitzvah and letting the audience know the purpose or importance of having the ceremony. I’ve never seen so much comradery between different people from different walks of life coming together to support someone, which is Gordo in this case. It’s really something special to watch.

- Another thing I love about this episode was how they are able to tie in the B-plot with the A-plot and I’m mostly referring to that sentimental scene between Sam and Lizzie. But I must say that Matt was pretty tolerable in this episode too and I found the way he expressed to Jo that he misses his mom’s punishments to be really sweet. 

[hillbillyhippiemusicreview]

Post #63, MarDe Brooks--Running Out of Time

Reviewed by Lyssa Culbertson

“Way back on the radio dial The fire got lit inside a bright-eyed child Every note just wrapped around his soul From steel guitars, to Memphis, all the way to rock and roll” -Eli Young Band

Every time I hear “Even If It Breaks Your Heart” by the Eli Young Band pass through my playlist, my mind cannot help but wander to the trajectory HHMR alum MarDe Brooks has had over the past couple of years. It is impressive what an ample amount of hard work, determination, faith, and if we are honest, an iota of craziness will manifest when it comes to chasing dreams. If you are unfamiliar with MarDe’s story, let me fill you in:

The Alabama born and bred singer-songwriter recently released his debut album, Running Out of Time, after a lifetime of desire to share his musical gifts with the world. Perhaps the album title is a nod to the notion of growing older and time slipping away, leaving you with no choice but to shelve your dreams or take a chance and live them with all you’ve got—but MarDe need not worry. With the impeccable artistry he possesses and a knack for heartfelt, honest songwriting, we’ll be hearing more out of him for years to come. With an practically permanent smile as wide as the Rio Grande and an electric energy radiating from him every time he steps on stage, he possesses an often unmatched zeal for his work that will surely keep him on everyone’s radar. His sound is as eclectic as he is, and that is the utmost compliment in my book. As I said in the review of his first single, “Memories,” MarDe cannot be caged by a genre, for this powerhouse of a songbird sings to the tune of whatever is in his heart—whether that’s a slow sentimental ballad about life on the road, or a rockin’ up-tempo song about love gone wrong. Running Out of Time has something to love for everyone, but odds are you’ll love it from the beginning of the “Memories” you’ll make whilst listening, to the last “Curtain Call.” Answering the desires of his soul to create his own original music, the collection of ten songs were written and composed in just under a year, and within the next year the record was recorded and MarDe hit the highway sharing his stories with anyone who would listen. On September 11, 2020, he added fuel to the fire that got lit inside the bright-eyed child of his youth when he debuted his first album to the world.

When listening to this record both as a whole and dissecting each individual song, it’s quite easy to hear the various musical influences that have helped shape MarDe into the artist he is. However, he infuses those notes of blues, old time rock-and-roll, country, southern rock, folk, and more into sound all his own. The first track on the record, “Memories,” incorporates all of these styles in a up-beat tune set against a bit of a dark subject matter. A failed relationship takes its toll and leads to self-destruction, but if you only listen to the melody, you wouldn’t have a clue. I love how MarDe plays a lyrical and musical trick on the listener’s ear on this one, and it was a solid first choice for a single release, as it showcases both his songwriting ability and musicality. Heading to the opposite end of the romantic spectrum, the next track, “Slow Time,” is a beautiful ballad that will transport you back to a time to when life ran at a slower pace, perhaps on the riverbank next to a loved one watching the summer clouds roll in, where nothing but the love you were in mattered. Speaking of rolling in, “I’ve Got Memphis” is one of the standouts on the record, as it details the feelings of a traveling musician counting the miles wearing on both the road and his soul. As a music lover with a heavy dose of Gypsy in my soul, when MarDe sings “Oklahoma calls out to me, and I miss that Kentucky high, I’d love to stay in Alabama, but I’ve got Memphis tomorrow night,” it resonates with me on a spiritual level. I love the sound of four wheels spinning down an open highway, but occasionally every mile marker makes me weary and I just want to be home, though there’s always another show down the road and work to be done. It’s a sentimental tune about the highs and lows of this life and is just so powerful. Track number four, “Down the Road,” happens to be one of my favorites off the record—it’s a total jam with an infectious groove that just won’t let go, much like how he bemuses the difficulty of letting go of his beloved and moving on in the tune. The way he once again juxtaposes an upbeat melody with a somewhat somber subject matter intrigued me from the first verse of the song, and I was hooked. We’ve all been there—in love with someone that it kills us to let go of, though we know we’re better off leaving them in our rearview. I admire how MarDe can write about real life situations with such clarity and cleverness.

As evidenced by the previous tracks mentioned, MarDe has such a versatile voice where one moment he can have you high on life singing along and the next morose and feeling every bit of heartache his vocals are seeped with on a song like “Home,” one of the most compelling works on the album. The imagery is quite vivid, as you can easily picture the man in the song with his “hands on the sink, face down to the floor” ruminating over his life. As I’ve listened to this song, it dawned on me that the character in the song was not simply speaking to a lost lover, but to the man in the mirror as well, because all too often we can break our own hearts by our choices with the aid of the demons we face. For many, alcohol can be one of those demons; however, as shown by MarDe’s joyful vibes in “Fifth by Noon,” sometimes it can be just the cure a man needs to patch up a broken heart. This tune is my favorite to see performed live because of the energy MarDe harnesses as he brings the song to life. A little ditty about the healing powers found in a fifth of your favorite whisky and good friends, the line “everything will be alright if I down a fifth by noon” has the possibility to become an adage for centuries to come. Likely not the wisest piece of advice, but one most can certainly empathize with if we’re honest. When he sings “I used to lay you down like Conway at night, but now you’re out there girl and you’re making different music tonight, so here’s an idea, why don’t you stay, yeah that’s where you made you made your bed and that’s where you can lay” it’s loud and clear how he feels about the woman in question—and I’m absolutely here for it. Such a killer, feisty verse that makes me cackle as I belt it out every time! The guitar solo prefacing the semi-acapella portion of the song backed by a chorus of voices and a drumline are my favorite parts of the song because it drives the point home and is so fun to jam out to.

Reflecting back on the record to this point, it’s easy to see the thematic presence of sorrow woven throughout the lyrics. Despite the best efforts we tend to put into anything in life, what we deserve is not always what the universe sends our way. Track number seven, “Earned,” is a prime lyrical example of that fact, especially in relation to futile relationships we may feel that we got the short end of the stick in, so to speak, because “even if you do things the right way, you don’t always get what is earned.” A heart is a fragile thing, and love is even more delicate, as heard in “On My Way.” MarDe croons “rules are made to be broken, but hearts aren’t the same, so many words left unspoken, could have silenced the pain” to a lover he’s leaving behind—and that is such a poignant line about the importance of communication. Quite frequently, it’s the words we do not say that could salvage important connections or bring closure to difficult goodbyes. His voice is soft and melodic on this tune, highlighting every bit of emotion involved, notably when he sings in the bridge “I couldn’t see through the flames when I promised my life, but all that smoke cleared just in time.” Every time I hear that particular lyric a single tear escapes my eye because I’ve lived that line and the emotions connected are just so painful—It hurts so good.

Although words sometimes possess the power to save relationships, they also have the power to destroy them. In the case of “Liar,” MarDe appears to be addressing a friend or mentor, rather than a past lover. “Your lies won’t let you tell the truth, you looked down on me, I looked up to you, you dig your hole try to pull me in the ground, you had your chance but it’s all over now”—WOW. In spite of the rather calm melody, the anger and disappointment boils over in every verse of this good riddance themed song, as he’s “on [his] way to the top now, and you can’t slow [him] down.” I often lightheartedly—but seriously—joke that people should not do wrong by a songwriter, because a song will inevitably be written about the offense, and “Liar” is a prime example of that, tying into the seemingly autobiographical journey MarDe details in the final song on the record, aptly titled “Curtain Call.” It’s a beautiful summation of his ride from the aforementioned bright-eyed dreamer of his youth to the man he is now, steadily achieving lifelong goals—while the highs and lows ebbed and flowed and it wasn’t always easy, the journey was without a doubt worth it, as evidenced by the quality and ultimate success of his first release.

MarDe either wrote or co-wrote every song on Running Out of Time and rounded up a group of gifted musicians to record the album at Rose City Recording in Charleston, WV with producer Greg McGowan. With a heavy dose of the keys, the lead/rhythm guitar, mandolin, violin, bass, drums, and pedal steel played by (in no particular order) musicians Jerimiah Hatfield, Joey Lafferty, Mark Cline Bates, Jeremy “Wood” Roberts, Eric Robbins, David McGuire, Molly Lynn Page, Travis Egnor, and MarDe himself, this record is a unique work of art, reflective of the array of musical styles that encompass the artist MarDe Brooks is. The support from background vocalists Ritch Henderson, Eric Robbins, Jerimiah Hatfield, and Mark Cline Bates adds a spark to each track they are featured on. My only critique of the record is that you cannot truly hear the extent of the passion and range MarDe possesses behind his vocals, as that essence can only be captured live—which is why you must catch him a live show, soon! You can find tour dates, merch, and other important info at www.mardebrooks.com, or you can follow him on Facebook at MarDe Brooks and on Instagram at @mardebrooksmusic.

Peace, love, & music,

Lyssa

————————

*This is an independent review. The Hillbilly Hippie Music Review was not compensated for this review.

*The opinions expressed are solely that of the author(s).

*These images are not ours, nor do we claim them in any way. They are copyrighted by MarDe Brooks & Jimbo Valentine of Amalgam United.

[seungcheolrk]

“life isn’t easy.”

september 5th, 2020: seungcheol & seonghwa visit ‘hello counsellor’.  first concern, ‘my sister is evil’: full episode to air september 21st. 

TW SUICIDAL THOUGHTS IN VIDEO AND REFERENCED BELOW

there’s a lot of inner turmoil when his appearance on the show is first revealed to him. on one hand, he’s reminded of all the times he’s listened sincerely to the other members, or to changkyun and sehun even before convex. he’s, by textbook definition, a ‘good listener’, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a good advice-giver. keeping an open ear and a shoulder clear to cry on is a lot more manageable than articulating his usually jumbled up thoughts into sentences that could affect another person’s life. it’s easier to let someone know they’re not alone than to tell them what you might do, or what you think they could do, in a situation you aren’t experiencing. 

but on the other, he thinks the one thing he’s always prided himself on, always thought was his biggest ( and perhaps at times only ) merit, is his gentle heart. 

who better to give advice than someone who makes every decision as to make everyone around him comfortable and safe? who better to give advice than someone who rarely ever gets into fights because he keeps his patience well? it obviously can and does happen, but once every so often versus every month or every week is a stark difference. he doesn’t know what concerns they’ll have for the episode he’s on, maybe he won’t be able to relate to any of it, but the least he can do is try — show love and care and sympathy. as terrible as it sounds, he supposes no one’s expecting an idol to be a king of advice. they’re performers at the end of the day, but beneath that, they are still, of course, human. 

after a brief introduction, they settle down for the first of the three concerns. it’s a letter from a little girl, only eleven, and before they even get into it, he already feels his heart clench. at that age, no one should feel so troubled to write into a show like this. her little sister drives her crazy with stress and it’s easy to think initially that it’s just sibling rivalry. he’s an only child but he’s seen it before with friends, how they’ll scrap with one another even in their adolescence or, worse, adulthood. however, as the host continues to read, he wonders if there’s more to it than that. 

jiyun is so cute that he can’t help but coo when she comes down the slide and into the ball pit. she tells her stories with so much hurry that even when the other hosts chuckle at her choice of words, his eyes soften. he tries to remind himself that there’s two sides to every story but the things she says, the way she’s so fired up already makes him side with her immediately, but he sits quietly as the other guests ask her questions, what surprised her the most or upset her the most when her sister changed. 

“‘I’m in a bad mood’, where did you learn to say that?” 

when jiyun laughs, he can’t help but join. she adds, “my mum always says that,” and it strikes a familiar chord in him, his hand coming up to cover his laughter. only seconds later, they meet her little sister, who boldly admits it’s all true, that she knows it’s wrong. he wonders momentarily how someone could already be so shameless at such a young age, but she cuts his thoughts off with a confession that she has started fights herself before, too. he’s already getting emotional by the time her little sister is starting to tear up, but again, it feels like a rollercoaster as her insistence that something in her older sister that has changed is how she acts cute now. 

( is that such a crime? ) 

he can’t relate to the informality issue, but the second he hears her wish to be an only child, that she feels like dying, that she’s lonely, his heart shatters. the host jokes that it’s menopause, but he can’t even crack a smile because no one, let alone a child that young, should feel that way. it almost makes him angry, but he reserves it until they can speak to the parents, at least. he doesn’t have much of a full picture yet, as much as he can feel that something is wrong. 

“did you know it was this serious between the girls?” they ask, and in a show of true colours, the parents laugh as their father admits he had no idea. seungcheol’s parents, much like most parents, hadn’t always had all the time in the world for him growing up. they worked full time jobs, both before and after they opened the music store, even if the latter did mean they were always close to home. however, they had always made a conscious and careful effort to know his feelings and thoughts. if he was struggling, they would notice. if he was happy, they would see it in his eyes. but the way their father says it is so nonchalant, like it’s normal to just let your kids fight and never wonder why or what you could do to help. there’s a moment of retribution when he says he tries not to take sides, but their mother immediately ruins it by reinforcing what jiyun had already told everyone — that that simply isn’t true, that she physically bumps their heads together to discipline them, that she’s grown used to letting them fight. 

“can someone please host the show?” the host asks when she begins to cry, and seungcheol almost gets up to offer, just to wrap the little girl in his arms for comfort. it’s hard, when they ask her again about her darkest thoughts. he finally cracks, but thankfully if anyone notices, it isn’t pointed out, because he doesn’t want any attention to shift to him at all. this is a conversation that needs to be had between jiyun and her parents, even if unfortunately, it has to happen on television. 

( he can almost guarantee the cameras will show it, though, because a tear from anyone is a heartstring pulled in the hearts of those sitting on their sofas watching at home. ) 

it’s all going well until he hears what the other mothers she’d sought advice from told her to do — and worse, that she’d actually done it. rightfully, the other guests speak up, say it’s too harsh, act in disbelief, and seungcheol can’t help but add in a gasped, “that’s a-abhorrent,” before she continues. when he can get a word in edgeways, he throws in his two cents even if he’s typically more timid. what surprises him most, though he only realises it when he’s done, is that he doesn’t stutter once. 

“but telling her that to scare her into not saying it again doesn’t mean that she won’t feel it again. it’s not about it making you sad hearing it; she’s sad feeling it and that feeling is obviously still there, just now you’ll never know about it and won’t be able to give her the support she needs to get through it.” it’s no wonder she feels so lonely with a mother around that seems so unwilling to understand. his own mother had never been that great at sympathising with anyone. she thrives on the balance of cool and collected, every tiny aspect of her life organised to stay in control. but when seungcheol came to her crying ( when he was younger and now, he’s never been shy to admit he’s a crybaby ), she would offer a warm embrace and stroke his hair until he calmed down or fell asleep against her shoulder. his mother isn’t perfect, no one’s parents are, but there’s a difference between those who try and those who don’t. 

the icing on the cake is their parents’ gaming habits. they’re shameless about it, laugh when their eleven year old says it makes her feel lonely, argue when she says she has to work to her mother’s gaming schedule to get to talk to her about her struggles. he almost wishes he were on the show alone so he could cut in whenever he wants, but he holds back whilst jiyun raises another of her concerns and an older guest, lee hyejung, scolds them in far more understanding words than he could have ever mustered together. 

she reveals an event that’s stayed with her her whole life, traumatised her almost, and the same older guest tells a heartfelt story about her own daughter with a similar experience. the entire time, he nods along, thinks about how wise the woman had been so far and how it’s only proof of what he already knew. even those who seem perfect aren’t, even those who seem to have the kindest hearts can make mistakes, but it’s those who try to fix them that truly grow. 

when she’s done, understandably emotional, he silently asks with a raise of a hand if he can add a short story himself. with the go ahead, he starts. “I-I’m an only child, but when I was growing up, it was hard for my parents and I to connect, too. when you’re really young, it’s a bit easier; they would take me to parks to play on the swings, and my father taught me to play the piano with him, but as mrs lee said earlier, kids grow up so, so quickly, and their interests shift and their experiences shape who they become.” he pauses for just a second. “my father was a violinist with kbs orchestra and he and I have always connected over classical music. but as I got older, I became interested in rap, too, in becoming an idol, and it created a gap between us that we’d never felt before. for a long time, we didn’t really know what to talk to each other about anymore. I felt like he was disappointed in me.” he sucks in a shaky breath, eyes watery. “but just like mrs lee, as a parent, he wanted to learn about the things that made me happy. he taught himself pop songs I liked on the piano and would help me record covers in our store’s studio. when I was little and he was still playing with the orchestra, sometimes he could be home for just an hour or so with me and that’d be all for days, but he would use that time to read to me or to play me a new song we could learn together. every parent around the world does housework and raises their children, that’s in the job description. when you have a child, you agree to share your time with them, to care for them and love them. the time for yourself can easily be fit into the hours after they go to bed, or when they’re out with friends at the weekends. my mother,” he chuckles, “would send me to bed already pouring herself a glass of wine,” he feels a sense of pride when the audience laughs, too, “but it worked, because the all the hours before bedtime, we spent together and every moment was precious. even as I grew older, we respected each other’s need for time alone, but the option was always there to spend it together. my mother always says she has no regrets with the time we spent together when I was younger now that I don’t have as much time to see them.” 

he thinks he’s talked too much when he finally stops, but everyone seems to be nodding in agreement and understanding, moves on to asking eleven year old jiyun another question and he feels a weight lift from his heart. it’s hard to be so honest when everyone’s eyes are on you, but it had flowed so naturally because even though it was a story of his own experiences, it didn’t feel like it was about him. it was about jiyun and making her parents see that their excuses aren’t up to scratch. he doesn’t feel entirely satisfied by the ending of the first concern, jiyun hugging each of her parents, but he’s more comfortable than when he started, at least. all he can hope for is the best, and that the rest of their topics for the day aren’t so sad. 

[craniuum]

ob/gyn, AKA this is a man’s man’s man’s world [but it would be nothing without a woman or a girl] (11/4/19 - 12/12/19)

i am going to be perfectly blunt and say that i’m a 24 year old female who has never been to an ob/gyn doctor before. there’s a LOT of reasons for this - being too scared to be so vulnerable with a healthcare provider, not going to the doctor regularly for any issues in general, following the example set by my mother who also does not regularly see an ob doc, repressed indian upbringing where anything remotely related to sexual health is taboo, etc etc etc - and it’s worked for me (so far). however, these past 6 weeks, i was able to spend a lot of time around a vulnerable female patient population who had no other healthcare options except for our clinic, and it’s given me a considerable change in perspective. 

let me set the scene: the clinic i was at had the only 2 ob/gyn providers within at least a 50 mile radius. it was located in rural southwest georgia. our patients on average were at a middle-school reading level. and above all, the 2 providers who were there both happened to be old... and male.

i’ve posted about how i strongly believe that ob/gyn should be a space free from cis men - mainly because i feel that at the end of the day, it is impossible for them to truly relate to the experiences lived by a patient who requires the care of an ob/gyn physician. and for most of my rotation, my attending didn’t do anything to challenge my belief. a few choice examples:

from day 1, he actively discouraged me from using lubricant for my speculum exam because it was a waste of time (.......literally going against everything i’d learned in school up until then)

we had a young-ish patient in her 40s with pelvic pain so intense that she was desperate for a hysterectomy (having her uterus entirely removed). my attending repeatedly called her “crazy lady” to me because he felt that her pain really wasn’t that bad because we couldn’t find anything on her imaging. we did end up performing a hysterectomy for her but he never stopped calling her crazy lady...

we had a pregnant patient who happened to be very obese (she weighed about 550 pounds) and he called her “big lady *last name*” to my face...

the town i was in had circles of very young teens who would have sex with each other and all get pregnant (a phenomenon my attending called “pregnancy circles”).... when he first told me about this he joked about how i should write a journal article about this phenomenon, as if the lack of adequate education in this part of the country was something to be ogled at??? 

the other attending was no better.... i worked with him only a few times but within those few times i saw him judge patients to their faces for not being able to recognize period blood, blatantly ignore questions that confused patients would ask him, and in his spare time he’d rant about why medicaid was bad and how all democrats are insane (i really don’t know why he thought i’d be the best audience for a conversation like that lmao).

i hadn’t had a rotation up until then that would fill me with physical dread every morning on my drive there, but this one really came close. for me, what made these six weeks worth it were - a) being able to do a lot as a medical student during surgeries/procedures since i’ve found that i love doing things with my hands, b) being part of the journey to welcome new life into the world (i teared up during literally every delivery i saw because i’m soft), and c) it was a reminder of how strong and resilient women really are.

i remember meeting one patient with fibroids (the largest one being the size of a football) who was determined to have kids one day, despite my attending telling her it would be nearly impossible. another patient i got to meet had gotten her tubes tied without her consent back when she lived in haiti, but she was still able to get pregnant thanks to in vitro fertilization and the excitement she’d felt when i shared her estimated delivery date was one of the most inspirational things i got to witness. so many of our patients came in with abnormal or dysfunctional bleeding, and despite the fact that there wasn’t much we could do besides offer hormones to reset their menstrual cycles, they’d always leave determined and hopeful.

ultimately, although there was a lot that i didn’t like about my rotation, this did get me feeling more passionate about women’s health and my empathy for women living in underserved areas has grown exponentially. i’ve ruled up ob/gyn in the long list of specialties i’m interested in (which already consists of peds, surgery, neuro, and heme/onc..... rip) but above all, this has encouraged me to advocate for female patients no matter what specialty i end up going into. 2019 was the first year that more women than men are enrolled in medical school in the U.S., and i hope this trend will translate into more compassionate care for women in the future.