#the character elements are always the driving force for me in making or loving a story

[novelconcepts]

I could listen to the Yellowjackets cast deconstruct their characters all day long, holy shit.

[comicaurora]

Do you have any advice for trying to avoid ripping off other people's works in original stories? I've been stuck in a weird writers block where anything I do to try and string plots together end up just being plots of other stuff I've read. Is that a problem you've come across before?

Honestly? This might be a hot take, but just get it out of your system. Write the story that's just your three favorite plots in a trenchcoat. Any writing will make you better at writing. To me, this is the storytelling equivalent of doing frame redraws or art style challenges. Art done for practice doesn't need to be free of all influence, and in fact pursuing that total originality is detrimental to the learning process because it forces you to continuously reinvent the wheel.

In my experience, through the process of just writing what you want to write how you want to write it, you'll find both that it's easier to find originality in the execution than you expected, and that originality has very little correlation with what makes a story good. When you go to write the plot you recognize as the plot of something else, you'll probably find yourself making changes. A different character moment to highlight an overlooked concept that spoke to you, a slightly more cruel twist of fate for a character to wrangle. Little original concepts will find their way in, because having ideas is the driving motivator behind creating art. It's always there, even if it's being sneaky or uncooperative.

Most of the time, inspiration is less "this story is good I think I'll replicate it in every detail" and more "I love parts A, B and C of this story, which tells me valuable information about the kinds of story elements I find compelling, which helps me guide my own writing towards things that involve the parts I like most about A, B and C." You'll always be able to recognize your own influences, but from the audience's external perspective, the you-ness that defines your art is much more obvious than it'll ever be to you.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

All In 8

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, power imbalance, low self esteem, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: you meet a mysterious man on a night out with your sister. (petite!reader)

based on the winning option for this poll

Characters: casino owner!Bucky Barnes

Note: Hellllllooooo 😁

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

The next morning comes too soon and with too little sleep. Despite your efforts, you couldn’t lay still long enough to get much rest. Every time you sunk into the shallows of sleep, you were just as quickly awoken by visions of the unknown. You don’t know anything beyond the time at which you’ll set off to your fate; nine o’clock. 

You don’t need an alarm. You're already awake and alert. You sit up and rub your temples until the thumping dulls. You can’t entirely shake the pulsing thrum.  

You drag yourself to your feet and cross to your dresser. You open each drawer, sifting through the contents with disappointment. You don’t have anything that nice. You pick out your nicest jeans and a halter top Roxie gave you. You’ll be sweating your bum off in the denim but you don’t have many skirts or even shorts. 

You can hear your mother getting ready for her own day of work. Of actual work. You wait until she’s done to claim the bathroom. She’s off only a couple minutes after, calling out a goodbye and I love you that you return in a higher pitch than you mean to. 

You dress and tidy yourself up as best you can. Your bedtime shower did little to help you sleep but at least it saves you a step. You spritz yourself with strawberry body spray and try to smile at your reflection as you put your toothbrush back.

Sigh. Did Bucky really call you sexy? 

It’s not even eight. Lots of time to wallow in anxiety and self-doubt. You pace around the front room, ready to go, but not really. You have your purse with the fringe and your least-worn flats. They pinch around your toes but they’re cute; pink loafers with a little leather rose on each. 

You cradle your phone then squeeze it hard enough to make it light up. Only a few minutes. Or not. You hear a car outside and peer through the curtain. You recognise the vehicle. Shoot, time to go. Oh, god, what are you doing? 

You lock the door behind you and turn to face the gallows. Each step is filled with sand, your legs are heavy and your feet clunky. As you near, Merv appears to open the door for you. You’re surprised but not to find Bucky waiting within. 

As you slide onto the seat, he watches you and rumbles out a silty, ‘morning, doll.’ You aren’t ready. You don’t know why but you thought the drive would give you time to toss away the last of your caution but you’re clinging to it like a raft. You feel entirely powerless. More than you ever have. 

What he promises, money; you always assumed it would give you more control, that it would solve all your problems, but it’s really just a new set of problems. You settle onto the seat as the door closes and buckle your seat belt, focusing on the simple task. He stretches his arm over the back of the seat as you lean against it and his heat seethes into you. 

“Good morning,” you force out at last. 

“That’s a cute shirt,” he purrs as his hand wanders down to tickle your bare shoulder, your nude bra strap showing garishly. “Would look better without this.” He touches the strap and you make a noise. “But I can wait for that, doll.” 

You stare forward. The divider between you and the front seat is up. You are completely alone. You feel your heart about to swell and split. 

“I’ll admit, I was up late last night,” his arms shifts slightly as he leans forward. You only notice then the scent of coffee and two cups in the holders behind the console. “Got a pick-me-up to start the day. Gotta be awake for you, doll.” 

He takes one of the cups and you realise, he means to offer it to you. You feel too bad to tell him you’re not much for coffee. “It’s called a blue dream tea latte? I think it’s blueberry or something. I saw it in some ad online. Sounded like something you’d like.” 

“Oh, thanks, er, it does?” You murmur. You’d seen the same promotion on Pinterest. It’s a rather strange coincidence that he’d think of you. “I... I’ve never tried a tea latte.” 

“Doll, I’m gonna give you lots of things you never had, take you places you never been,” he flutters his fingers across your neck as he retracts his arm. He grabs the other cup and groans as he sits back, blowing over the plastic lid. “So tell me,” his arms presses against yours. He seems so big sitting so close, “where’ somewhere you always wanted to go?” 

“Er, I don’t...” your eyes drift over as Merv drives lazily through your neighbourhood, “know. I never... thought about it.” 

“Anything you always wanted to do? Skydiving? Wait, yeah, you don’t like being high up. Makes sense, being so close to the ground, huh?” He chuckles and leans into you playfully, “you an outdoorsy type? You like hiking?” 

“Um, I don’t know, I think... I like walking in the park sometimes,” you hold the cup with both hands, letting the warmth flow into your cold veins. You can smell the blueberry and you instinctively take wife through the slot of the lid. 

“Mm, don’t worry, we’ll figure it out, doll,” he assures you and sips again, swallowing thickly before he lets out a thigh. “I think you’ll like what I got planned, even if you don’t know what you want. I’ve always been good at figuring that out, you know?” 

“Oh?” 

He laughs again, “you’re so cute, doll.” He looks over at you, “how’s the latte? Did I do good?” 

Your eyes nearly cross as you stare at the cup. You bring it up carefully and take a dainty sip. You almost moan at the creamy but sweet taste. You pull the lid away and dab your lips with the back of your hand, turning to give him a wide-eyed look. 

“It’s delicious,” you smile. 

He grins and tilts his head, “see, doll, you don’t even gotta say it. I know exactly what you need.” 

You’re breathless. Something about his tone, his words, mingles and coils around your throat. It’s like one of those old Wattpad fantasies you devoured in your teen years, those escapist dreams of having everything taken care of and not having to think, and yet, it’s too real. You take another drink to keep busy. 

“After our first stop, we’ll eat,” he says, “that okay? You’re not ravenous?” 

His words make you flinch. You blink and shake your head, “I’m okay.” 

“Sounds good, doll,” he relaxes and once more extends his arms over your shoulders, this time hugging you closer.  

He turns his head and nuzzles you, making you squirm. You’re rigid, paralysed by the proximity. You’ve never been this close with anyone. He still feels like a stranger. 

“Mmm, strawberries,” he growls, “I like that.” 

You giggle and barely keep a hold of your cup. You really can’t understand it. You never had interest from anyone. You didn’t even really have friends in school. Sometimes, you even think Roxie hates you, and your mom, well, she loves you because you have to. You just can’t comprehend what he sees. 

“Thanks...” you wisp. 

“No, thank you, doll,” he drawls, “for making my morning brighter.” 

🃏

You doubt Bucky does anything in half-measures. Merv pulls up to another upscale building and you can’t help but gape out at the white brick facade. Everything is so big and fancy and better than you. You’re so out of place in his world that you can’t but wait for the moment he decides to kick you out of it. 

The white-haired driver gets out to open the door. As you step out, your loafer slips off your heel and your foot slides down the curb. You trip outward, bracing yourself for impact, but don’t hit the ground. A hand wraps around your arm and pulls you back onto the seat. You cringe, happy at least that Bucky can’t see your face as he clings to you. 

“You okay, doll?” He asks, “you hurt yourself?” 

“No, no,” you wriggle in his grasp, “I’m fine. It was just... stupid.” 

“Not stupid, good thing I was here to catch you, huh?” He reluctantly releases you, a caress along the back of your arm, “now you be careful. You need me to get out and carry you--” 

“No, no!” You grab the car and push yourself out, fixing your shoe as you get your bearings. “Really, I’m okay.” 

He chuckles and follows. It he laughing at you? You turn to face him as he steps up on the curb. It’s easy when he’s sitting to forget how small you really are. 

“All good, doll, I just can’t have you getting banged up,” he says as he gestures you across the wide sidewalk. 

You peer back as Merv shuts the door and Bucky brings his hand to your lower back, just like that woman at the casino. His gentle touch sends a chill up your back despite the beaming heat from above. 

“Promise, you’re gonna love this.”  

He urges you on to the front doors. They are made of iron, twisted in the middle, and two long handles curlicue in the middle. He stops and presses the little silver button along the side, a buzz muffled within. You wait, fidgeting, and presses his palm firmly to your back. You still yourself and clutch your bag tighter. 

The interior doors, dark walnut, open inward and a woman appears within with a particularly snobbish look. She’s tall with straight shoulders and a Chanel style suit. She unlocks the iron doors and opens the right one. She eyes Bucky past her hooked nose as she lifts it higher. 

“Mr. Barnes,” she greets. 

“Meredith,” he returns, “thanks for having me.” 

“Only for you,” she assures as her eyes fall upon you, “you’ve brought...” 

“Someone very special. A connoisseur like yourself,” he insists, curtailing whatever she thought to remark. 

“Yes, certainly she would be,” the woman accepts with a sniff and steps back, “please, come in. Should I have Charlene make tea?” 

“I don’t think we will require it. Doll?” He pauses as he confirms with you. 

You shake your head, “no thank you.” 

“Very well, follow me, then,” she spins and struts away.  

Bucky nudges you inside first, following through the narrow door. As he comes up parallel to you, a shadow appears to close the doors behind him. The whole experience is eerie. What is going on? 

You follow the woman, Meredith, up the wooden stairs with a rose-printed runner along the center of the steps. At the top, you smell the definitive scent of books. She directs you into a room, opening the door but standing back to let you through. Bucky nods and thanks her one last time. 

“You know the rules, Barnes,” she warns. 

“Been a while...” he mutters. 

“You remember,” she rebukes. 

He laughs and pulls the door shut as she retreats, her heels clicking through the wall until they taper off to nothing. A record player drones from the corner and the window lets in the yellow sunshine, adding to the illumination of glass-shaded lamps. You peer around, as curious as you are confused. 

Bucky brushes by you, knuckles rubbing against your waist, and he approaches the antique table at the center. Several stacks of books sit neatly piled atop it. You approach sheepishly and read the spines. You recognise the titles though you’ve never read any of them. As you think, you realise that these are the same books you have on your reading app. How could he know? 

Your mouth falls open as you keep your hands folded together. You don’t dare to touch anything. It all seems so nice and likely expensive. And with how Meredith spoke, you’re certain she wouldn’t appreciate you putting anything out of place. 

“She’s a book collector. I came here a few years back to buy some first editions for my sister,” he picks up a book. 

“How...” you bend to read further down a stack. 

“A lot you can learn about a person online,” he flutters through the pages, “isn’t there?” 

You look at him and blanch. 

“I know you Googled me. Everyone does,” he snickers, “it’s fine. Comes with the territory. But you...” he snaps the book shut and comes around the table, holding it out to you, “all I found were some books and a few pictures of a cat.” 

You take the book and stare at the cover. Those pictures were old. Kai died at the end of high school. You run your hand over the embossed title; Middlemarch. You remember adding it after binging and old British series. 

“My cat. She’s gone now,” you shrug. 

“Sorry to hear that, doll,” he says. “I might know someone who can cheer you up, though.” 

“It’s... fine. She was a good cat,” you shrug. 

“Hm, yeah, but a friend, all the same,” he says, “so, you want it?” 

“What?” You peek at the book again. 

“All of them? I can have them packed and sent to your house.” 

“Huh?” Your eyes nearly bulge out of your skull, “my mom...” 

“Ah, it’s fine, we can sneak em in,” he assures. 

“No, no, I couldn’t... it’s too much. Very nice but... must be... a lot.” 

“It is, doll. Meredith gave me a damn headache tryna get in here on short notice but I did it,” he leans a hand on the table and hooks one foot over the other. “You gotta at least pick one thing to walk out of here with.” 

“Oh, I... I wasn’t meaning... I didn’t mean to be ungrateful,” you rub your thumbs along the edges of the book, “sorry.” 

“It’s fine. I know you’re not, doll. You’re... adjusting. I’m doing my best not to scare ya away but you gotta bite the carrot a little here,” he says, “so grab a few and we’ll go have some breakfast.” 

“I...” you look between him and the table. You have no doubt that he went to a lot of effort for this. For you. You can’t just throw it back in his face. “Thank you, it’s...” you turn to face the table and lean in to see more of the books. You let yourself smile, “it’s wonderful. No one’s ever... except mom...” 

“Get used to it, doll,” he steps closer, his hand once more on your back, “with a smile like that, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of seeing it.” 

[arabriddler]

Edward’s bitter pill to swallow speech you’ll always be iconic to me even without the fact that it foreshadows future events. I shall share thoughts. Sure, this may help out The Penguin back on his feet, and sure, not having someone you care about means you don’t have to worry about getting blackmailed and the such, but his wisdom is …. Not in the right place. It’s what makes this whole thing great. from Ed’s perspective, he’s comparing himself to Oswald, he’s insisting that they’re parallels but in his case, he had gotten over his grief of losing the only person he cared about, and is offering wisdom/advice. he’s saying “ look at me. I got over my trauma I’m doing great. My trauma made me stronger.” well, he didn’t. In fact, the way Oswald dealt with his grief was healthier, in Edward’s case, he didn’t take time to grief and he dismissed it. He thinks of his feelings as weak and buries them down. That is important in what makes him up as a person later on and shapes his character arc.

Ed’s descent into The Riddler performance, the way he was so easily swayed by Isabella despite her being so suspicious, and the way he handled his feelings with Oswald. Hell, Oswald is like a wrench in his system—he’s emotional. He cries openly. He loves without shame. He’s the most powerful man in the city. It must be driving him nuts!

This whole time the speech was meant to poke at Oswald and show his wrongs, but it comes back to bite Edward, and it takes such a long time for him to learn from it. Oswald was supposed to learn to grow cold and uncaring but he still loved and cared loudly and kept his power. He grew even stronger. For Edward, he was most in his element, or mostly stable, when he was loved and loving. When he cared.

“ it’s better to have loved at all to have not loved at all.” Sure, no strings means you don’t have to worry but where’s the motivation? Where is the driving force? How can you go forward? And they both realize by the end of the show that they work better together. They’re best as a collaborative force. They may have to stop along the way and pick each other up but they’d still rather do that.

It’s not about Oswald learning to not care. It’s about Edward learning to care.

[aj-thegreatest]

Fame and Paparazzi in LO: An Underdeveloped Picture

So this is gonna be less of a "formal" essay, and more of a...ramble unfortunately. Stay around if you still wanna read lol.

I've always been interested in stories where the public eye, media, and/or paparazzi become one of (if not, the only) driving forces in the story. Or stories where the main character is always on guard, protecting their image against the people who twisting it for their own means. See also: any story set in Hollywood, or any story set in a royal/high status environment.

So you could only understand my disappointment on how it's used in LO. Because ideally, this should be a straight shot! And it started off fairly decently.

Persephone, a complete nobody, gets thrusted into the spotlight by meeting an influential powerful figure. And we do see the negative effects of this through Tori and Alex (I can't remember which one got their eye snatched but I honestly kind of don't care about their characters I'm sorry). Persephone can't readily make friends because of Hades' actions. For a moment, she's isolated among her peers. And it's good! And then...

It...barely gets mentioned for like, a majority of the series (Don't worry I will get to that part near the end) There are other moments mentioned (Hera disguising herself as paparazzi as a "test" for Persephone, this notable visual from Minthe's POV)

And it's not anything...substantial? The audience doesn't get to the emotional/mental effects from this. Especially directed at Persephone, who'd ideally be the perfect person for this. It encourages the audience to sympathize with her, which I know the narrative wants. Like, desperately. One of the main rules in LO is to be on Persephone's side, 24/7. And we know what happens if people aren't:

But I also know one of the secret rules of LO, is Persephone cannot suffer/go through genuine hardships. She can't get slandered (rightfully or wrongfully) by the press, because it'd be too hard for her. She can't have a truly unfair trial, because it'd be too unfair. And, if the ending of LO means anything, she can't even have her long distance separation with Hades.

It's why Persephone doesn't get this overall treatment from the press. In the context of the world, she kind of skirts by and doesn't get recognition for it? It's a bit like Retsuko Post S2, where she should probably start getting noticed more but it just doesn't happen.

Even after the trial and her punishment, she can freely walk down the streets of Olympus like she's the most hated goddess around (I'm not even saying this to be mean, if I had a family in the Mortal Realm and I couldn't see them for a decade? I'd be pissed).

I'm going to take time to mention the video that inspired this ramble, Lindsey Ellis’ “Yoko and the Beatles,” which goes into the history of the Beatles and Yoko Ono. It also touches on other famous women, like Courtney Love, Britney Spears and others, who were slammed by the media and press. There is/are a lot of elements at play, to misogyny and racism (in Yoko Ono’s case) that effected their treatment in the public eye. And a lot of this came in the late 90s/early 2000s, which was a very bad time to be in the press. No sympathy at all.

I’d highly suggest watching it for yourself if you haven’t, because the treatment in the video did remind me of an LO character, but not the one the narrative wants us to think of-

Minthe got dumped on in the story, in WT comment section, and by its own creator! It’s no wonder people give her more grace/sympathy, because she’s barely standing up by the time she gets planted. But back to Persephone because it’s always about her:

So. the only time Persephone gets slammed like that is near the end…where the narrative decides to input all the criticism to the evil scary villain who sucks sooooo much:

And it’s like…ok. So. Typically, when a character is getting mistreated in the press, the claims are usually sensationalized and inflammatory. Borderline slander. We, the audience, should not be on the press’s side unless we’re supposed to take validity in those statements.

The best example is the 2nd interview in Bojack Horseman, where the audience is expected to see Bojack as a deeply flawed and messed up person who, when things get really bad, will throw people under the bus to save his own skin (I.E, him mentioning Sharona in relation to Sarah Lynn drinking for the first time). 

And there’s obviously situations where it’s a lot more morally grey, when it comes to the media and press. It’s all about who’s telling the “real” story and which one is the “fake.” But in this, you as a writer need to make a decision: how is your audience supposed to take it? Should we be on the press’s side, like in the case of Bojack, or should we be on the character’s side?

Now. In this moment with Persephone, it’s clear we the audience are supposed to sympathize with her. But everything Apollo (and the other citizens) are saying is…correct. Persephone is responsible for this, and she hasn’t really owned up/done enough to manage it. She’s sitting there in her ivory tower, pulling the “woe is me” act like she did in the trial. And somehow, we’re supposed to be on board? When we haven’t been given enough evidence that Persephone genuinely cares and they’re wrong about her?

And this could’ve worked! If Persephone owned up to her mistakes and wanted to change, we’d be on board! Look, she’s actually developing! But because Persephone can never be in the wrong, the narrative bends itself like a game of Twister for her to always be right. And that’s boring in a story that’s supposed to have stakes.

I’m actually gonna end this off on a positive note, and talk about the best use of the media in LO. While Persephone is at school, after she’s spent the night at Hades place, she comes across this in the bathroom:

This is genuinely perfect! We see how the press/media defame Persephone, and how people are reacting to it. We see her being affected by this in her day to day life, with the Cherry on top being the “Goddess of Sluts.” It’s so bitter and borders on Highschool levels of petty, and it works. This is probably my personal fave moment in the LO Pilot!

And I will forever be shocked on why this wasn’t included in the WT version. It’s so simple to put in, but it’s almost like the press was sprinkled in…instead of being baked into the story. A dash of media slander here, a scoop of cliffhangers, and another sprinkle of SA, and that’s all it is, really. Or just a plot that didn’t spend enough time in the dark room

[mrghostrat]

I remember you posting a blurred gif of the outline of atws, so if you don't mind me asking, how do you do that? Like, get the outline onto paper and not just scenes in your head. That's something I've always struggled with, because it's hard to write without an outline, but hard to do the outline when I don't have a first draft? I'm not sure how to explain it so I hope this makes any sense at all lmao

ahh so fair! some people just don't operate that way and you gotta do what's best for your brain. no point exhausting all your energy trying to squeeze into a "standard writing process" that'll make writing even more difficult for yourself.

under the cut, i'm going to explain my writing process every step of the way, using scenes of ATWS. i hope it helps in some way? i don't think it's anything special, but this is just how i write to appease my adhd.

first, this might help: i once used storyplanner.com when i didn't know how to even start a story and i loved it. it's a great tool that can hold your hand every step of the way, or just prompt you to think on your own. there's over 20 planners that ask different questions like "what's your character's major flaw?" "what's the inciting incident?" "what outside elements hinder the character?" etc that will present you with a complete story structure when you're done with it.

ok, now, how i write:

as for the post in reference, that's the 2nd stage of my writing process. i get carried away with tangents and hone in on details, so i plan in dot points to try and force myself to keep it simple and stay zoomed out.

i just write what happens in chronological order, and if i have an idea for a later scene (or something that i just want to happen, but don't know when/where/how), i note that in a separate document that i can refer to while i plan. this also allows me to gloss over vague sections to keep my writing flow going.

stage 1:

i've started using Notion's "toggle list" feature to minimise the less important parts of a scene and keep myself focused on the overarching plot during this stage. this is what the first point looks like:

i go beat by beat, essentially amounting to an elevator pitch for each stage of my story. "crowley and aziraphale are streamer roommates" + "people start to notice they each live with someone and the speculation starts" + "crowley and aziraphale interact on twitch" + "they attend the edinburgh meetup" etc.

i finish a story before i move on from this stage. i won't start writing something in earnest until i know how it ends.

stage 2:

this is what you saw in my gif, and why that page was so long. that's every scene i'm going to write in the story.

sometimes i jump straight from stage 1 to writing, but ATWS required a lot more figuring out before i started any kind of prose. here i'm basically noting down the details of what each scene is, the brunt of what's happening. this is when i have to figure out those "vague sections" i glossed over earlier.

it's still just intended to be a rough outline so i know where the characters are and what's moving their relationship along. most of these dot points are short because i've already thought about them a thousand times, and may have more details noted down in a different document.

meanwhile some of them i'm planning out the scene as i'm dotting it, making not of dialogue that i want to include.

stage 3: my bracket method

i only use this stage when i'm struggling to write and need to baby step into it. this is my "bracket method" in which i write the scene without, like... caring? some people may consider this "double handling" which may drive you mad, but it's the most helpful thing i've ever done for my process.

i switch tenses, i write how i chat (no capitals etc) and just word vomit the scene without focusing on prose. ATWS came quite easily at first, and i didn't need to use stage 3 until i got to chapter 4 and hadn't written in a few days.

stage 4:

this is writing the actual prose, but i wanted to include it so you can see the differences, to help better understand my notes/planning/outlining stages:

and this is what a scene looks like with stage three bridging the gap:

[billpottsismygf]

73 Yards

I have slightly mixed feelings on this one, but what it did well it did brilliantly. The episode was beautifully shot with a fantastically creepy atmosphere throughout. The Welsh landscape, the close shots, the out of focus semper distans, the mystery of what was being said. Millie Gibson's performance throughout was stellar and this is the most invested I've felt in her character so far. I did miss Ncuti's presence somewhat, but it says a lot that she was able to carry the episode on her own and I do love when the format gets shaken up occasionally and we get a Doctor-lite episode.

I loved Kate's brief appearance and the way it sold the fact that this was a very serious situation. You think UNIT might be able to help here, but Ruby is once again left alone. The themes of abandonment in this one were incredibly potent and really tie into the themes of the series. Unsurprisingly, one of the most effective and upsetting parts of the episode was Ruby's mum also being affected by the mysterious woman. Her anguished screams for her mum were really quite harrowing, as was that awful comment about her birth mother not wanting her.

It also got far darker than I would expect in a Doctor Who episode. The far-right politician and the threat of nuclear war was plenty, but what was done to Marti was absolutely chilling, as was Ruby's apology for not doing anything. It gets away with it because it's all through implication, but that almost makes it more hard hitting. You don't always need to see the monster in action to know what it's doing. It also reminds me of my much younger self not picking up on the Master beating Lucy Saxon until I was a teenager.

The way time began to speed along was actually quite shocking to begin with - I actually gasped when we saw the 25th birthday cards - and it kept bringing to mind various other episodes where companions have been abandoned either in the real world or another timeline/reality, especially things like The Girl Who Waited, Turn Left, Forest of the Dead, The Lie of the Land, World Enough and Time etc. That things get undone at the end was again a little reminiscent of a few of them, but this is also where we come to my criticisms of the episode, because - while I loved the experience of watching it - the ending feels tacked on in a way that is very unsatisfying.

There were a number of things that just never get explained. For a minor example, why did the Doctor disappear? Disturbing the fairy circle released Mad Jack (I'll come onto him) and also made the Doctor disappear? And also made the TARDIS lock in a way that couldn't be opened with Ruby's key? I'm not as bothered by this as the below, but it feels messy and like an attempt to do a Turn Left without an actual reason for the Doctor to be gone.

A bigger gripe is Ruby being the following lady. That on its own would have been fine, but that combined with other elements just frustrates me. Mainly, if the following lady was Ruby, what is it she says to get people to run away? I don't mind things being left to the imagination - for instance, I quite like that we don't get an explanation for why she has to be 73 yards away; I can infer that that's got something to do with the fairy circle - but it appears that whatever she says specifically makes people think there's something horrifying about Ruby.

What could Old Ruby possibly say to that end and why would she? And why would the same thing make a Prime Minister resign? If we had never found out who she was, I would have been perfectly happy to infer that she was a force of some kind that drives people mad, but it's Ruby! Knowing who she is but not what she does or how or why she does it is the worst way round. I want to know neither or both, or possibly the latter but not the former, but this way round just frustrates me.

On that note, the friend I was watching with pointed out that, as she was dying, elderly Ruby had very short hair and suddenly has long hair when she becomes the semper distans lady. A small detail, perhaps, but one that further muddles the conclusion. Why did her hair change? Where did the coat come from? It's a different actress as well and, even at that distance, you can kind of tell. Did Old Ruby just end up embodying an existing spirit to do with the fairy circle? If so, I would have liked that to be a lot clearer. If not, why does she look so different?

Okay, so, Mad Jack. Who or what is Mad Jack? Is he a spirit of some kind that possesses Roger ap Gwilliam? Was he always Roger ap Gwilliam? Does Roger ap Gwilliam exist without him? If Roger ap Gwilliam does not exist without Mad Jack, how come the Doctor still mentions him? If Roger ap Gwilliam does exist without Mad Jack, what is changed by the Doctor stepping on the fairy circle?

In the version of the timeline we end up on (where the Doctor doesn't step in the fairy circle but Roger ap Gwilliam is still mentioned by him as a dangerous Prime Minister), here are a few possibilities and why they don't work for me:

Does he still become Prime Minister and get taken down another way? Perhaps, but it's not like Turn Left where we know the problems would have been stopped by the Doctor (who's not here). Without Ruby's infiltration and semper distans lady, what stops him? And why was that not able to stop him in the timeline we witnessed?

Is he less dangerous? The second time around of the opening conversation we don't get the line about the brink of nuclear war, though only because Ruby interrupts him to point out the woman, but maybe we can infer that this time he's a dangerous Prime Minister but not that dangerous? That seems quite weak and unclear, though, and seems to disregard the horror of the Marti stuff.

Does the timeline only change after the Doctor's comments about him being a dangerous Prime Minister? He does say that before stepping (or not stepping) in the fairy circle both times. I might be happy to assume that Roger ap Gwilliam never comes to power after that diverging moment has passed, except that things have already changed before the Doctor mentions him because Ruby says she's been to Wales three times. Maybe they've changed a bit but not enough until the moment she stops him from stepping on it, but that is not at all clear.

If it's any of these (or none of them), that's really confusing! It's just so messy and unclear. It would have been a simple fix, too! Keep everything the same and just add in a line as they're walking away at the end along the lines of "thank goodness he never got into power; people never found him that convincing". That would have clarified a) things have changed since a few seconds ago b) that Mad Jack is what allowed him to get to power and c) in this timeline, that won't happen and Ruby won't need to stop him.

Despite all my complaints, I did really love watching this episode. It's just so carelessly wrapped up, as if they didn't think about the implications of the otherwise very well told story. I'll be interested to rewatch it and see if my complaints bother me more or less on second viewing. I really want to love this episode because there were so many fantastic elements, but it just makes all the inconsistencies and loose threads and muddled logic particularly frustrating because they were only another draft or two away from being solved.

Misc small things

No theme tune! I feel robbed! Maybe it was meant to be part of the vibe that we're not in the usual timeline, but come on. It could easily have been slotted in when she left the TARDIS the first time or before she got to the pub!

Other episodes I thought of: Extremis with warning other versions of yourself; The Hungry Earth/Cold Blood with waving at future versions of yourself that disappear when things change; Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS with weird timelines and future selves and things being undone; Last Christmas with the companion becoming elderly; Turn Left for the vibes of "there's something on your back"; Under the Lake/Before the Flood with a silent message, since it looked like the woman was trying to sign things to Ruby; and The Sound of Drums/Last of the Timelords with the triple whammy of the companion having to 1) set off on their own to 2) take down a prime minister and 3) have time reverse.

It's also got a good old bootsrap paradox in it, which doesn't bother me in the way of the above complaints, but for the sake of completionism: How was Ruby warned about the future when that future hasn't happened? Would have loved Twelve to briefly pop his head in and explain it for us.

It's interesting that the snow stopped throughout this version of her life. It also seemed to snow while she was on her way to the pub.

Kate's comment about how "this timeline might be suspended along your event" was interesting and I wonder if it connects with the snow stopping.

For the first time I actually recognised Susan Twist when she appeared, but I'm not sure I would have done without Ruby realising she recognised her. I liked that! It felt very Boom Town and recognising Bad Wolf coming up again.

There was a little cameo from Mrs Flood.

[istadris]

You told me you had Antasma headcanons. Go. Nuts. And tell me EVERYTHING!!!

Okay first of all : I think Antasma's potential is severely unexplored.

Granted, that's on me for expecting too much depth from a Mario villain. Still, it annoyed me that Antasma has such a cool design and concept...yet I was frustrated with how his comical "screeching bat with a Dracula accent" side was really played up despite being the main antagonist...

And then the betrayal. Again, it's a Mario game but even then, was I the only one frustrated by how obvious it was that Bowser wasn't going to share the victory with anyone ? It's presented as a surprise, but come on Antasma, even if Bowser was willing to share, you weren't exactly subtle with your manipulation.

Yet I love this character so much!! Onirism and nightmares are such fascinating themes and Antasma vs the Pi'ilo explores them, but it could have been pushed even further!!

In general I think Antasma's flaws are M&L: Dream Team's general flaws : amazing concept, but the story takes a lot of efforts to get to the interesting part and some of the jokes could have replaced by more interesting moments.

And it's interesting how it sometimes feels like Antasma and Dreambert have some kind of history; at least that's how I see all the moments where Dreambert tries to appeal to Antasma, and even how he pities him once Bowser turns on him...or maybe that's just me reading too much into details.

ANYWAY regarding Luigi and Antasma, I also have a LOT to tell about them :

I find it very, very interesting that even before any of the characters had any hints of Antasma & Dreambert, Luigi dreamed about him...and not just Antasma in his bat form, but in his most powerful one ! And it's never explained ! how did it happen ?? Did Antasma feel Luigi's "attunement" to the Dream World and try to exploit it ? Does Luigi has divination abilities ? We just don't know !

Another little frustration I have is that Antasma never pays any attention to Luigi...even if he's the key to fight him back. Without Luigi, Mario wouldn't be able to get to the Dream World, nor would he have enough power to fight the bat king. (Technically, Luigi is also responsible for Antasma's return, since he opened the first portal by taking a nap in the Pi'ilo castle...)

And it drives me insane ! But it makes sense at the same time, everyone always overlooks Luigi, except Mario, who knows his brother is the strongest ally he can count on! So while Mario isn't suprised one iota by it, their ennemies are always baffled by the brother's victories relying on Luigi.

But for real, all Bowser and Antasma had to do was to kidnap Luigi while he was asleep and either wake him up and force him to stay awak (and trap Mario in the Dream World), or keep him asleep but trigger effects by exposing him to elements that would slow Mario down...or just end his game. Like, the solution was there, guys.

Antasma's boss battle is my fave of the entire game because not only does his musical theme SLAP, he also has interesting moves...and he can PUT SOMEONE TO SLEEP IN THE DREAM WORLD!!! And he can CAPTURE DREAMY LUIGI !!!! Something that is NEVER done before this moment !! He changes the rules ! He rewrites the game !! How to not like it !!

But for an eventual AU where Antasma comes back, I have two very different ideas of how it could go :

Option A : the Redemption Road.

The battle left Antasma so weakened he barely survives in the Dream World. He doesn't even have enough energy to be angry anymore. He's just wasting away, waiting for his end. He doesn't recognize this part of the Dream World and doesn't care. He's dying, and for the first time, he's scared.

But what he doesn't know is that he's not trapped in the typical Dream World...but in Luigi's dreams. Luigi who has had strange dreams for weeks where he feels there's something with him whenever he dreams, but can't find it.

As his sleep gets worse and worse, he ends up returning to Pi'ilo Island, hoping to get help from Dreambert. Except the prince is currently away or too busy, which bums him a bit. Thankfully one of the Pi'ilo accepts to help him, or maybe he just finds a petrified one who hasn't been freed yet and despite not having Mario with him, he decides to try and rescue them by himself.

...Oh waaaaait. What if that petrified Pi'ilo is actually Antasma ?

So Luigi travels in the Dream World...and finds Antasma, curled on himself, pathetic and near death. A miserable little bat.

Who immediately jumps on his face and tries to feed off him.

What ensues is Luigi first panicking, but being too kind to just abandon someone in need, (not to mention he DOESN'T want Antasma stuck in his dreams anymore!!!) and being forced to cooperate with the bat king to free him.

Of course it's a long and frustrating road...and yet for once, Antasma isn't threatened or confronted or betrayed. He's lonely, and not used to kindness, and he ends up slowly warming up to this fool.

Option B : The Smart Villain Road

Antasma manages to survive and goes into hiding, and plots his revenge...but this time, he's learned his lesson.

He's been right before about Bowser being a more useful ally because of his power. But he realizes that not only Bowser is too egoistical to ally with, but he isn't even the most powerful.

Instead, he focuses on Luigi. Luigi and his almost unique connection to the Dream World. Luigi who's been the powersource of Mario through the whole adventure. Luigi whose subconscious is able to change the layout of the Dream World. Luigi who can summon a huge version of himself, almost as powerful as the Dream Stone Spirit...

Luigi who, Antasma is convinced, is the key to his success.

So his plan this time is to get his hands on the younger Mario Bros. By hiring goons, or sneaking into Luigi's dreams, or kidnapping him himself, or allying with other villains again (*cough* King Boo and/or Dimention *cough*), he will do anything to finally taste this incredible, untapped power, and seize it for himself.

[burst-of-iridescent]

atla live action thoughts: episode 2

SPOILERS AHEAD

tw: opinions

things i liked:

love, love, love the depth they're adding to suki here. it feels as though they've drawn on the bits we get from the original and deepened it - it makes total sense that suki would feel stifled after having been trapped on kyoshi her whole life, and it adds more weight to her being inspired by sokka to leave kyoshi and go to ba sing se in the future

really enjoyed maria zhang's performance as suki. she brings the fierce strength, but there's also a softness and vulnerability to how she plays the character that's really nice to see

as much as i love suki kicking the sexism out of sokka, toning down the overt misogyny was a good idea, especially since it pretty much disappears from sokka's arc after this episode. i think they did a good job addressing the spirit of the original in having sokka try and show off to suki only to be severely humbled and still choosing to better himself by going back to learn from her

aang and katara laughing at sokka's horrendous flirting... biblically accurate book 1 trio dynamic

i wasn't sold on iroh in the first episode but paul sun-hyung lee 100% won me over here. the scene where he tries to convince zuko to eat quailpole egg felt right out of the cartoon lmao. i do like that this iroh seems to be trying to steer zuko to the right path earlier and more obviously

thank GOD aang still seems to be affected by what happened at the southern air temple. i love the scene where he was hesitant to train because the only person he'd ever trained with was gyatso. going from discovering genocide to riding the unagi was always a major tonal whiplash in the cartoon and it barely worked in animation so i'm glad they're giving aang's trauma the weight and respect it deserves in live action

the action and bending continue to impress, as do the visuals and cinematography. the show is just so visually beautiful to watch and it feels like a fantasy world take notes percy jackson

things i disliked/am conflicted about:

don't really get why we're delving into kyoshi so deeply here. it's not a bad change but neither do i see the need for it when we could've spent the time on other things. if anything, the avatar who should be more fleshed out at this point in the story is roku

katara receiving the waterbending scroll from gran-gran instead of stealing it... i get it, but i also don't love it. it really spoke to katara's desperation and will to become a waterbender that she stole from pirates just to get a chance to learn, and it also highlights the tragedy of what happened to the southern water tribe benders that she had not a shred of her culture or heritage left to guide her

i don't think sukka had to be pushed so heavily in this episode lmao. once or twice was fine, but it was starting to get a little cringe by the end. also not a fan of them kissing at this stage, especially if they're keeping the yue/sokka romance. maria and ian do have pretty good chemistry though

why are we going to the north pole because aang had a vision of them being in trouble?? wasn't needing to learn waterbending enough?? i don't mind them foreshadowing the ending battle but aang needing to learn the elements is the driving force of the show and it doesn't feel like we're getting that here

why is zhao... like that. there is no WAY animated zhao would've ever proposed working with zuko. this zhao feels a lot more like a long feng or a littlefinger than the reckless, hot-headed original who was meant to be a foil to zuko. the whole reason for introducing zhao is to show us that zuko is not the worst of the fire nation by a long shot, but between the two in the live action zuko still feels like the more unlikeable one and that's worrying. i hope we're still getting the zuko v zhao agni kai bc i have no idea where this storyline is heading

aang can only talk to the past avatars in the avatar's shrine? i can foresee this causing issues later on in book 2 and 3, if they happen

i'm guessing the zuko/katara "fight" here is supposed to replace the "i'll save you with the pirates" (RIP you were always gonna be too iconic for netflix) but it just feels out of place. what do we really get from this scene that we didn't know before? in the original scene, this is the moment we see katara master a new waterbending move AND use it in a fight but she's already bending earlier in the episode so it doesn't have the same effect. zuko seeming ready to burn katara while she's cowering and defeated also doesn't feel like something zuko would do. the dude spared zhao, of all people.

overall episode rating: 7/10

[butmakeitgayblog]

I really admire the amount of thought you’ve put into understanding the core of both of these characters in canon. Even in your asks it really shines through how deeply you understand them and it makes your writing of them really next level. All of your clexas are so different but all somehow really ring true in a way. How do you decide how to develop/craft each of your clexas in a way that you feel stays true to the base of the original character in a way? Like, are there core characteristics or motivations you try to keep for either of them across any au? Or an element of their arc/development? I know all of your AUs vary wildly but I wanted to ask because it really comes through that you have thought deeply about what Clarke and lexa either would or wouldn’t do etc.

Ok well first of all, thank you 🥺 that's just an incredibly lovely thing to hear. Really, I've had a righ couple days and this was just such a nice thing to read, that you feel that way about these weird little stories 💕

As for your questions, stuff like this is always jard to answer because while I'd love to give some intelligent, big brained answer, the truth is I'm not entirely sure 😅

I tend to mostly just get an idea for a story and then it kind of... idk, it develops in my head in stages? And it's different every time with every story. I don't go into each story looking to purposefully focus on core elements or characteristics, but rather as the story comes together each character kinda - as absolutely pretentious as this sounds - tells me what parts of them fit best in the story?

For example, MBFW Lexa. Since I've been talking about her a lot lately. Once I knew that she'd be the Jules character, she kind of built herself around the attributes of being devoted and dependable, but jarringly unpredictable at times when she feels it is for greater good. She does things that she thinks are best even when they may hurt herself and other people, because in her mind she is ultimately making the right and rational choice (even if from an outside perspective that may not be true.) With MBFW Clarke, her loyalty and devotion are her driving forces, but also her stubbornness and ultimately her rash decision making when her emotions run high (you'll see 😏). Clarke will go through hell for the people she loves and she is a ride or die bitch, even in the face of her own heartache. That's what she does when she loves someone. So you get these two personalities together that have this intense and unshakable love, but it's one that's also a revolving door of missed opportunities, and staying silent even when they shouldn't for their own percieved thoughts of the greater good, and unwittingly hurting each other in the process. But the love is still there, always.

I guess overall in each fic I just try and go at it with the thought of, "What traits and quirks of themselves would these life experiences have developed most (i.e. moodiness, playfulness, stubbornness, standoffish, nurturing etc.) over the others that they had canon? And ultimately, what about those characteristics would make them love each other in this universe? Because they are still always themselves, even in different universes. And Clarke and Lexa, they love each other. They'll always love each other. But why this time? What about them would draw them together here? What pieces of themselves would connect in this situation? How do they compliment each other in this world?" And then it just builds itself from there.

If that makes sense?

[bumofthewild]

what are your shadowbringers thoughts so far 🥳

too many.........! i mean it like a lot. more than i get to in this post. also i did the final trial of post-shb ytd actually so spoilers for both shb and post-shb (up 2 the end of that fight)

i think it was different from what i was expecting from the pre-shb parts... like i really enjoyed what immediately happens after the yotsuyu trial where alphinaud plans to go to garlemald and gets stranded in the burn (one of the coolest locations in the game) and the really dire feeling from your friends falling unconscious around you and a voice calling to you in this urgent but poetic way; i was really into the feeling of this unknown threat closing in all around wol. when finally alisaie falls (i liked the development she was getting and how blunt she is abt caring abt her loved ones) and wol gets transported to the first i was like whooooaaaa but then i actually think the story kind of lost me for a bit bc it loses that pre-shb momentum setting up the first as a location. not to say the opening parts of shb aren't well-written or interesting bc they def are but i found myself kind of wanting to go back to that intense direness (rather than the resigned-to-danger feeling of life in the first after the flood) and also i had this idea of shb being this visually darker expansion probably bc of the title and the garlemald cutscenes so its funny its the exact opposite. i rmb i also thought the shadowbringers would be the ascians but they really made you think that on purpose smh bc the shadowbringers are actually.....you....! (i think)

still i really like the idea of overwhelming light and how it just leads to stasis of all things. shb has some truly weird ideas but in a really fun way like the idea that the echo is something that can be evoked within sundered beings by having them experience a starshower like how the fuck do you come up with that. just some truly esoteric things like elemental imbalances and the shattering of the source into thirteen shards and all that like im genuinely a big fan of the ffxiv world lore. it was cool how all this stuff was set up pretty well too with the warriors of darkness from post-hvw like i really liked how they put those guys back into the story. and i always enjoy when the driving force in a story is like a hunt for mini-bosses (the light wardens). i think what was kind of making my interest fray at times though was again just establishing a new setting which i was less interested in than the overwhelming light plot stuff. particularly eulmore, probs bc i went there first fresh after all the urgent things were winding down but also bc it's so detailed a location it feels almost separate from the game to me so i felt a bit distracted. i really wasn't expecting that initial confrontation with vauthry to extend into him and his army becoming such a large part of the story, but i did like it regardless, like that cut-scene with kai-shirr where you save him from vauthry was so dramatic its even giving me chills remembering it. the fatphobia regarding vauthry's character was weird but im just. like ok. well i just had to say it

i really like the new locations too like il mheg definitely was made for me to spend hrs in there wishing it was real but everywhere too was really fresh and unique. i like mord souq a lot and i liked seeing the beast tribes be incorporated into the societies as opposed to whatever eorzea is always doing wrong. i also liked the attention put into things like developing relationships w ppl from the diff areas like helping with the trolley and the talos at twine--i always like stories where places are revitalised. like smaller-scale hopes being restored amongst the larger actions like bringing back the night and showing how these small things can be equally as important. i liked the effort that went into establishing the unique lifestyles of denizens of the first also. and seriously everything aboug il mheg plus urianger hanging out with fairies is one of those things that feels directly plucked from the self-indulgent recesses of my brain. i was actually sad when you lifted the mist bc the place felt a lot more enclosed (i like enclosed things i love an enclosed atmosphere which is why i wanted shb to feel less like it was opening up a story) and dreamy but oh well i can always just ng+ the game and never find urianger's house and frolick in misty il mheg forever

going back to how each area is really fun i also really like that idk thing stories do where you encounter a diff person at every diff location. like that all your friends were at different places on the map idk how to explain but i thought that was a fun way to have wol explore novrandt that makes sense. and how these new places recontextualise the scions who have been with you since arr was interesting like seeing them in a new light. i do feel like the game doesn't develop urianger and y'shtola as much emotionally compared to the others (THANCRED IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF THIS GAME?) bc idk they're smart or smth so they're usually playing Mr. Exposition roles but i was grateful that at least you finally FINALLY spend a lot of time together as a party and build your relationship. probs one of the things i enjoyed most about shb. like you obvs don't see them in hvw bc they're all missing--just generally urianger isn't hidden away in some library thancred isn't skulking around some imperial stronghold somewhere y'shtola isn't being placed in a coma for the millionth time and the twins aren't otherwise engaged with logistics/combat. like everyone was finally together and striving towards the same things together. i could finally feel the bond between the scions rather than be told they're close thru sparse interactions they have with wol individually.

i also really like what they did with ardbert, the moments w him all felt so poignant. i used to find him silly in post-hvw calling himself the warrior of darkness and smirking at me all the time until the moment he goes back to the first w urianger's help..then i was like my bad i wasnt aware of your struggles.... i like how they complicated his char a lot and his narrations were so fun. his char is a good example i think of how shb did a good job of being both heartbreaking and pretty dark without being hamfisted or unnecessarily cynical

i feel like im going to have to spend so much time processing shb bc i blasted thru it but also bc i was so distracted by the crystal exarch like the moment i saw him i was like is this not just g'raha bc of the male miqote mouth (and that he has you go to the crystal tower but mostly the mouth) and this like proceeded to distract me to an insane degree up until the very second his hood flew back at the climax of the game and revealed it was actually him. i was even telling my sister like i hope he doesn't reveal his face himself i hope some stray wind or w/e blows the hood down...so i won that interaction. idk how i managed to avoid spoiling that considering i used to see fanart of him often bc he's so popular but i am not ungrateful bc even if its obviously him that would have sucked bc needing to know it was him like being right was possessing me

uhh what else............ regretfully emet-selch is now one of my fav characters. in the whole game. which is crazy to me.... i used to see his name around as well but what i rmb specifically is this one time i saw like a tweet complaining abt ff fans who are really into the imperialist ideals mention him and i was like eww guess im never gonna like this emet-selch guy if i play hahahaha. and i had this weirdass vision of him in my head as this brooding black robe-wearing guy w mid length grey hair or smth (just the impression i got from his name idefk) bc i had no clue what he looked like. and then solus shows up for the first time and i was like wow this guy is really interesting like whenever he shows up the plot really starts gripping me bc i just find the shit to do with the ascians soooooo super interesting. like the fact that they're very openly present but such a large threat. it's interesting to me that as enemies they make themselves so known to the main cast and could be anywhere at any time--i find that sort of impasse really fun. like a tense atmosphere nobody on either side breaks until the final moment bc they're not sure what the retaliation will be. also when emet-selch admitted that as ascians they'd all been tempered by zodiark like HUHHHH THATS SO INTERESTING

i think definitely the part after mt.gulg trial was where i was really understanding why i see a lot of ppl say that shb is the best expac bc how much the plot ramps up the stakes all of a sudden compared to the level of danger you get used to is crazy. and it really gives you things to think about beyond wuhhh good and evil bc like after you incoporate all that light into you, you're the threat now...? like what do you do? when you open the windows and the light has come back to the world after you gave everyone this hope the night sky could come back... that level of fucking up really surprised me. and the whole time emet-selch is shadowing you really only feels at most like a vaguely concealed threat and i feel like i don't usually get caught like that but i was genuinely shocked he was such a serious threat all of a sudden. like i genuinely forgot even though all of his interactions felt like being on the edge of a deal w the devil. and it was well done too i like when everyone is honest abt their intentions more or less the whole time but theres still a lot of intrigue -> danger

i usually roll my eyes at ig simplistic overtures about sympathizing with or even at least understanding your enemy but i have to say i really was unfortunately taken in by the fact that emet-selch was very genuine about his interest in the main party, and it was even better to me bc of how precarious their interactions were. i just love weird and hard-to-put-into-words relationships between ppl who know of each other but are essentially strangers. and compared to the other ascians you've met so far how he makes his appeals more human/emotional rather than with the stiff otherworldly-being logic of his comrades i find interesting, and again it doesn't come off as simplistic or try to provide any thoughtless concrete answers to me bc although the main party at least feels enough towards him to feel pity/considerate/betrayed, which i like bc that's just what ppl do, they just can't accept him (obviously) and they remain at that standstill. like they understand each other but they will never agree. not getting into how he invites wol who is turning into a monster personally to his underwater lair bc i want to seem normal secret recesses of my mind i just always like characters that seem cool or capable or operate in a way that seems very (almost "nobly") focused but its actually something of a farce, and they're really being spurred on by some intensely personal emotion. like shinobu from kny or sekigahara from 13 sentinels who are some off my fav characters. i did feel like the way he was rejecting the party at the end (before you fight him) was kind of excessive, like they were playing up his villainy a bit so it would make more sense you have to kill him or smth, but in my mind it's like of course you have to kill him no matter what. and i don't mean all of this in some woobifying way where i feel bad for him like nooo poor emet more like i just like when someone is really driven by emotions idk lemme try to find the words. the way the grief like bleeds out of him... like he creates a giant city of memories that he wants someone to understand so bad. i like that kind of mishandled pain...like an inability to contain something.

but as much as what the ascians strive towards/how they go about it/most things to do with them fascinate me i do have an iffy feeling about smth very specific that i think really solidified itself with amaurot. i find the conflict that is the sundering really interesting but how it's conceptualized is really................hm....the ascians having a normative standard of what it means to be a "proper" or fully-fledged or whole being = being worthy of life, so that killing the "malformed" beings that are the non-ascians doesn't count as killing.... that they have this idea of a "true" type of person. does that not seem like couched in really blatant ableist (and other things but im just a fool on tumblr) thought about what it means to be considered a person. i was just fascinated bc they're the villains so I GUESS it's meant to be "wrong" the way they think, but theyre still also sympathetic chars (and imperialists) so ok. this is also the acting logic of eorzea disposing of the ixal and the kobolds and the sahagin etc etc like killing beastmen is like swatting flies. the beast racism. like you know the amount of stock ppl put into worthless concepts like "reason" as if its some immutable law and not socially constructed and thats whats good and virtuous and deserving of life. it was just interesting? (HAHAHAHAUUUGHH) to see that represented in this hyper-rational and streamlined city/society of the ascians. the hard edges and the carefully tended charmless cement rows of tree plots and organized lines for licenses and taking pleasure in an organised and rational debate with my fellow ascians at the debate hall. like the perfect and complete world the ascians are killing themselves to bring back is bureaucracy???????? i actually was so stunned i wanted to laugh. idk it just makes so much sense to me that the way square enix apparently pictures some lost utopia "lesser" beings cant achieve would be in this sort of fake-conflictless way. it feels otherworldly of course in comparison to the rest of the worlds and i enjoyed that section of the game a lot but. like good lord

i had like no thoughts about g'raha until post-shb for some reason maybe bc idk what i could say the game hasn't already abt his personality but i'm like fascinated with how taken he is with wol bc i almost don't get it. i actually kind of mostly enjoy it in a really one-sided way where he is enamoured with wol as a fantasy figure out of his reach and it just stays that way forever. he interests me bc it feels like he's not really alive....and i said in my post about stormblood that i really like characters who feel like they can't see a life for themselves in the future beyond some goalpost they strive towards..but g'raha feels a bit different, he doesn't feel dead inside or empty he just feels like. he's not alive like he's not living. idk like he's not a human person but a symbol (the crystal exarch). ig it's his solitary focus on salvation bc even though he bakes lyna a cake for her bday and it turns out badly i like struggle to imagine him doing anything mundane or anything that isn't crystally or exarchy. i have to rotate him more idk. how he's also self-serving despite thinking so lowly of himself is interesting to me too. and i like how all of this is symbolised by how he'll have to reconcile this current version of himself with his past self, that is reimagine himself as a living flesh and blood person, in order to get out of the crystal vessel (symbolism?) hes currently inside of. whether he does idk yet im still playing post-shb so plz dont say.

i think im running out of space rip my thoughts on elidibus and the final hades fight (they should have just made it emet-selch, hades carries too many preconceptions so it felt random to me but maybe im just greedy and i've spared too much thoughts abt this guy already)

oh shit i also wanted to talk about how the more i learn about the ascians the more i'm convinced the imperialism in this game is just a waste of space and time and effort in this game but well. huge tangent. i genuinely just pretend its not there

last thoughts i'm convinced the finality of so many of the events is like.... was this supposed to be the final part of the ffxiv story..... the cinematic fight with hades/ how you beat him using the power of friendship/the heroes gauntlet duty where everyone you've helped in the first comes to your aid/fight against the original warrior of light....? etc. like it definitely all feels so final. why are there expansions after this......................like why bother.......shb did it all

[astrangergivingthestrangewelcome]

It Should Have Been Jonathan: Why Swapping Jonathan and Mina's Roles for the Blood Ceremony Makes Dracula a Better Story Both Thematically and Plotwise

Bram Stoker did not write it this way, so swapping Jonathan in is not a headcanon, but rather an adaptational choice that adaptations like Murray Mysteries or fic writers (like me!) choose to make over and over again. Here's why you should engage with this premise.

(No spoilers for those caught up to October 3rd of Dracula Daily)

(non-graphic mention of rape, sexual assault, etc)

The Story As It Is: The Good Points

Jonathan um. Goes Through it this novel. If you hadn't noticed. Mina takes care of him a lot, and after the blood ceremony, Jonathan gets to take care of her. This is very sweet, and I do enjoy that both Mina and Jonathan take turns rather than Jonathan always needing help.

It's not like it's unrealistic. Dracula would totally retaliate against the men fighting against him by targeting Mina. He super would see this as very apt revenge, and he's definitely that brand of sexist that sees women as a prize.

This plot point goes out of its way to frame the actions of the men in excluding Mina as utterly disastrous, which is cool.

Mina as the Victim: What is it Accomplishing + How Did She Get There

Mina spends most of the novel taking care of the people Dracula's victimized. She is a force to be reckoned with, but as Stoker wrote her she is a very good sort of English woman, pious, obedient to the men, respectable, etc. etc. Although she and Lucy have very different characters, when Dracula targets them they serve the same role as good English women who are coming under attack by Dracula, an evil Eastern European man. In Lucy's case he literally kills her and in her place is a hot sexually impure corruption of the original person. Victorian nightmare fuel. In addition, there are all kinds of sexual non-con rape vibes to what he does to both Lucy and Mina. Hot forceful foreign men are invading England and targeting good women. That's the whole fear that Dracula represents.

This manifestation of xenophobia doesn't hold up at all. For me, it's always been the worst element of the novel. I don't find it compelling.

Something else you might have picked up from this update: martyr talk martyr talk martyr talk. While (trust me) Mina is still smart and still given a lot of agency by Stoker to break her own curse, after the blood ceremony, she suffers Very Piously. Like a hair's breadth away from publishing a video entitled "How To Suffer A Tormentor From Hell in A God Honoring Way" on her Youtube Channel.

I personally don't find this interesting. I don't think it holds up. I don't want to see Mina suffer like a Perfect Little Christian. I want to see her kick ass and take names.

In conclusion: the driving forces behind Mina's attack and trauma are at best uninspired and outdated, and there is a very nasty undercurrent of xenophobia and sexism there as well.

I don't love it. I'm either bored or actively turned off by what Stoker is trying to say.

Jonathan as the Victim: What Could It Accomplish?

Dracula choosing to attack Jonathan again would shift the narrative so that it becomes a story about an abuser who will Not Let Go. An abuser who follows across a continent. An abuser who waits until you've just started to recover from the first round of trauma and started to feel safe again to start an onslaught even more vicious and concerted than the last.

I think Stoker laid the groundwork for this twist to be more terrifying and compelling than for Mina to be targeted 2/3rds of the way through. Obviously Dracula is an abuser no matter what, but it so much more terrifying to me to think of him playing a long-term game of cat and mouse over like 6 months with one man, than it is to see him target Mina over the span of three days.

This is also in character for Dracula. I agree with the common interpretation that Dracula continued to target Lucy even when it got ridiculously difficult and dangerous to continue because he can't stand to lose a test of dominance.

If we carry that over to Jonathan there is absolutely no way that Dracula would be ok with learning Jonathan escaped and is recovering. He would Hate that. He would absolutely want to target Jonathan again.

So you remember "I too can love" "tonight is mine" the gaps in the journal? All that abuse that is hinted at and never explored? The same sort of sexual assault motifs that are so present in Lucy and Mina's attacks? The implication that Jonathan was fed on by Dracula? All these hints that Stoker doesn't do anything with or develop further? Well Making Jonathan the one who undergoes the blood ceremony gives us a very natural chance to discuss them again.

In conclusion: Jonathan's history with the Count makes him being the victim (again) a more compelling story. We've watched the Count slowly escalate aggression with him over the course of a novel, and this final attempt to literally claim Jonathan's soul and make him a thrall is the natural conclusion of that. To me those are some compelling stakes

Jonathan being Targeting Makes for Less Plotholes (and less Infuriatingly Sexist Plotpoints)

Not that Mina being excluded is unrealistic or unworthy of engaging with in the original novel but I find it to be such a drag

And actually to a certain point it is unrealistic to me because I think the decision to completely cut her off and stop talking to her about anything comes completely out of left field. Everyone was acting like she'd work with them in some capacity right up until Van Helsing says differently. I find that jarring.

Switching the target to Jonathan eliminates that plotpoint entirely, which I think is cool. Maybe Stoker never would have written Mina as one of the boys, but it's not the 19th century anymore and we can write Mina however we want. I think having a Mina that sticks up for herself and refuses to be excluded is neat.

But on what grounds would they choose to exclude Jonathan? Well I actually think that some obvious solutions present themselves.

Murray Mysteries goes the "Jonathan you have PTSD you shouldn't retraumatize yourself route" which works for them, since it's a 21st century retelling

But I actually think it could potentially make sense for Van Helsing to want to exclude Jonathan, and to need to be secretive about it.

So you know how in the canon Dracula gives Mina his blood partially because his intention was to make himself a spy? The plan was to use an unwitting Mina to his advantage but the polycule bursting in killed that idea.

Well if I were Van Helsing, I would immediately suspect that the Count had fucked with Jonathan at the castle. I mean it would make so much sense wouldn't it? Jonathan was there for two months, he could be compromised in so many different ways.

If Van Helsing had these suspicions, then it would be the natural next step to try and exclude Jonathan from the business as completely and utterly as possible under whatever flimsy excuses he can make up (and this man has been making up flimsy excuses for the whole novel so it's in character).

This adaptational change would lead into Jonathan getting attacked again very smoothly, except in this version, Van Helsing's reasoning has more grounds to it than just Sexism, so he would be not only a smarter character, but also one I'd want to punch less.

I think that makes for a stronger plot

Also it seems very natural to me that Jonathan wouldn't realize he'd been attacked again by Dracula. More natural than Mina not realizing. This man has been having PTSD nightmares and flashbacks about Count Dracula attacking him for the entire summer and early fall. Canonically his trauma made it difficult for him to separate dreams from reality in the past. He would just assume they were particularly nasty dreams.

This would also apply to Mina not noticing Jonathan was being fed on as well. She's used to him not looking well and having bad nights. It would not immediately be apparent to her that this was different that the usual.

In conclusion: Jonathan being the one who is attacked opens the door to other obvious plot changes that create a better story structurally.

Okay You've Convinced Me, I Want to Explore This

Listen to Murray Mysteries! Listen to Murray Mysteries if I haven't convinced you, it's really good and it's the only adaptation I know of that actually adapts the Polycule in a good way.

Read my series! I don't mean to self-promote but if you couldn't tell I feel incredibly strongly about this premise and I don't see people tapping into the potential so I've had to do it myself. Strange Wonders is a series of short stories that explore the plot of Dracula if this change had happened. The goal was to create something that mimicked Bram Stoker's tone and style as much as possible, while being the story I liked better in my head. The first in the series, Uncommon Horrors and Unnatural Hurts is Dracula Daily friendly, and the next in the series The Resilience of the Dawn will be Dracula Daily friendly by October 4th. I'm still updating as well although the story is technically complete and has a climax.

here some would stand between you and death by princ3ssf33t is a great little one-shot fic I've found that deals with the role reversal and features some stellar Jonmina

There is a Pleasure in the Pathless Woods by calliopes_pen is another epic reimagining where both the Harkers are targeted by Dracula

Your fic/art/content here!! Endless potential.

TL;DR

Having Jonathan undergo the blood ceremony instead of Mina makes for richer horror, stronger character arcs, less teethgrinding sexism, and less plotholes. The Dracula fandom should be exploring it more.

[lietpolski]

when you have the chance, could you do a mischaraterization analysis on iceland?

sure!! i think the difference between him and nor is that people are more aware of the liberties they're taking with his characterization, so, disclaimer: i don't care how you characterize him and i don't think i'm better for sticking to canon. but let's talk about canon iceland!!

one thing that's a personal pet peeve is his age, and when he's portrayed as an adult. i've seen people saying that they don't even know if he's meant to be a teenager or not! but:

he's meant to be 16-17, as hima has said! now, i think it's fine to take creative liberties with most characters' ages. however, with iceland it's such a core element of his personality that aging him up just,, entirely changes him as a character!

iceland is meant to be a teenager. no, not in the emo tumblr user who loves memes sense (that interpretation was 90% of iceland content in 2015 haha), but like a teenager who because of his age can be immature, and struggle with his emotions, connections to others, and a lot of insecurity. you can see some of that insecurity in his need to be seen as mature, but also his embarrassment over his accent & being hot-headed (another aspect of him that's underexplored! people forget that side of him!)

"According to Himaruya (in a Comic Birz interview), Iceland tends to feel uncomfortable with his thick accent and hard to understand language, opting to speak in English when he can. This was further instated when it was mentioned in his Volume 5 profile that he tries his best to hide his accent.[17]"

but more specifically, i'd say that iceland's main internal struggle & driving force is his want to connect with and be close to others. but in response to him always been forgotten, being an afterthought, and falling behind, he's put up a front of indifference about it - "i don't care if people don't care about me"

but here's the thing! although he tries to act uncaring and fine being alone, he loves his overbearing family :,) and values the connections they give him so much!! in my opinion, him disliking how the other nordics act is just a front (except when he's being babied, which is understandable haha) and i think this gets kinda lost in fanon. just look at these interactions! (image order is left to right)

this one below makes me especially sad :,)

the other nordics being what stops him from being lonely is huge when you consider iceland's origins:

he was all alone, for years and years and years, with no one like himself to explain to him who he was, what he was, a little kid all alone and he was so lonely. that is, until his big brothers finally came over to his island to bring him home!

so yes, iceland does care about his family and does want them close, and he's not as indifferent to everything as he wants to act. he's a character with some deeply rooted insecurities, and he feels the need to hide them

and some quick thoughts: i don't have a lot of obvious examples, but iceland is an old-fashioned person! he's not as in touch with the rest of the world, he wears grandpa sweaters and cravats, he has an old ass phone, he doesn't at all strike me as internet savvy and i don't like that characterization of him

i've covered this in more detail with my denmark & norway rants, but he's super close to both of them, likes both of them, and sees both of them as brothers! in fact, he sees sweden & finland as brothers too!

(+ that image i showed earlier saying that he looks up to sweden as an adult, and how he calls them all nicknames! dan, svi, fin, nor!)

one last thing about his relationships!! people seem to think that him and hong kong are an entirely fanon thing, when actually they have at least 2 manga chapters where they interact and seem to be friendly! here's one of them :)

i hope you found this long rant interesting, he's one of my favourites!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Same as it ever was 4

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as neglect, bullying, manipulation, cheating, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Between your home life and work, you just can’t catch a break. Especially after you draw the ire of your boss.

Characters: Lloyd Hansen ft. Pete Brenner

Note: Oh my, we be sad gurls and bois.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

When Pete rumbles with snores, you move to the couch, hoping for what little sleep you can summon. You can't lay there beside him knowing what you know. You can't steam in the spite of knowing that he can sleep just soundly while sneaking around.

Two wrongs can never make right. You're not absolved. Far from it. You're mad. At him. At yourself. At life.

As you drift in and out, the apathy comes. You can't care. If you let yourself feel, you'll fall apart. You don't have that choice. Someone has to hold it together for the kids.

You get up first, like most mornings. You're restlessly impatient to get the day started if only to get away from that house. From the husband who isn't much of one.

Simone and Malik sit at the table eating cereal as you check your phone. You're on track so far. As if fate is throwing you a soft ball, the morning is going smoother than ever.

You get the kids packed and in the car. Every step is taken on habit alone. You walk them to the school doors and wish them a good day. Then you go back to your car and idle in silence. You're empty, you have nothing left.

You make yourself pull out and join the snailish roll of traffic through the school zone. Your drive to work is over before you know it as you stay locked in a trance. Before you just went through the motions, now it's like you're a ghost, floating aimlessly from one place to the next.

You enter the office, the walls a blur in your vision as you find your way blindly to your desk. Your head is pounding. Amid your early morning scramble, your desperation for distraction, to think of anything but reality, you hadn't even had a coffee. Your entire being throbs from the caffeine withdrawal.

You cup your forehead as you boot your computer. Eventually you'll get up and grab a cup of the weak break room brew. You lean heavily on the armrest of the chair and wiggle your mouse. 

For once, you're thankful to be at work. No fighting kids, no laundry, no scoundrel husband. But you're there and it's just as hard to live with yourself. 

"Morning, sunshine," Mr. Hansen's booming tone has you careening back in your chair as he comes to lean on the corner of your desk, "aren’t you bright-eyed and bushy tailed. Long night, huh? Husband finally loosen you up a bit."

You give him the daggers. That look that says 'enough'. Your motherly chagrin blazing at full force. He winks and laughs as he taps the end of your nose.

"You're real cute when you're pissed off, you know that?" He puts a hand on his hip, smoothing his index and thumb of his other across his mustache.

"Mr. Hansen," your voice is gravelly with dry fatigue, "is there something I can do for you?"

"Well, I can think of a certain wakemeup," he snickers, "but I'm thinking that you're not really into it. Still, you look like you could use it."

You huff and turn your chair to glare up at him. Can't he bother anyone else? He had his fun, he humiliated you, he made you hate yourself. So what else does he want?

"If you don't mind," you push your chair back and stand, "I'm going to get some coffee."

"Oh, sounds fun," he shoves away from the desk and trails after you, surprising you as he stretches and arm across your shoulders, "this company shit, it's garbage. How about I make you my own personal brew? I got a keurig in my office, just got some French Vanilla–"

"No thank you," you grumble and pull away from him.

You enter the kitchen first as he continues his incessant pursuit. He likes Malik when he wants to tell you about his legoworld. You go to the machine and find the carafe empty. You rinse it and fill the tank.

"You're mad about yesterday," he says as he leans on the counter, "if you're into snuggling, you coulda stuck around–"

"No," you growl as you measure out the coffee grounds.

"I let you go take care of the crotch goblin so I thought we'd be square–"

"Mr. Hansen, it's not you," you close the lid and flip the switch, "really."

"Ah, got it, it's the hubby. He's not taking care of his marital duties, huh?"

"Please, sir, it's not… it's not that," you falter as the lie sticks on your tongue. "Tired, need coffee."

"You look like you need sleep," he shifts closer as you stare at the slow trickle of coffee, "tell you what," he lowers his voice, "you come in my office, give me a good tug and I'll let you sleep in a meeting room. How's that? I'll make sure you get your eight hours."

You open the cupboard, taking out your mug from the bunch of mismatched porcelain, and set it on the counter. You can't even look at him. Not only because he repulses you but he reminds you of how pathetic you truly are.

"I'm good," you insist, "thank you, sir."

He scoffs, "I'm giving you something you're not getting elsewhere. Action and sleep," he runs his knuckles up your sleeve, "beggars can't be choosers, can they?"

You look at him. You're so fucking exhausted that your eyes are too dry to eke out a single tear. It's the only thing keeping you from tipping over the edge.

He smirks and looks at your blouse, reaching to pinch one of the front buttons, "look at that, all put together."

You glance down at the misaligned buttons. You don't even care. You're a mess. You're old and used up and unwanted. Even he only wants to get off, it doesn't matter who does it.  At the end of the day, he'll be just as happy to do it himself.

You're speechless. It's nothing like shock. It's exasperation. Are all men really like this? Is this what Pete does? Is she some girl at the company?

"Forget it," you take your empty mug and spin in your low orthotics.

You stride out and stumble to your desk. You can do this. You just have to get through the day. And then what?

Get the kids, go home, cook dinner, do homework, bath time, bed for them, clean the endless mess…

Tomorrow? The same thing, over and over, until what? Until when? When do you admit defeat?

Hansen struts out of the breakroom. You look up as you see him sipping from a mug; your mug. He meets your gaze as he drinks deeper and passes by.

You wonder the same thing about him; when will he give up? 

🗄️

You feel yourself slumping lower and lower. Your eyelids are scratchy and burning as you fight to keep them open. You cup your chin in your hand, elbow planted on your desk as the emails blur before you. You can do this… 

In a minute, you’ll get up and get a coffee, undisturbed, and really start working. You won’t fall asleep. How could you? Right here in your office chair. On the best nights, you can barely sleep in your own bed. Lately, it’s only been bad nights.

Once you find the energy, you’ll get up. You swear you will. It’s all you have to look forward to. That cup of coffee. You can smell it. You know it’s burnt by now, stale and bitter, but your stomach growls for it.

A few more minutes.

You hear snorts, strange noises that seem to rumble from within you. The clacking of keys and soft clicks continue, almost forming a rhythm as your screen ripples to bars of colours. You feel a weight over you and a sudden shift.

You hit the floor, bouncing on your ass as your seat hits your shoulder. You look up as you awake, only realising then that you dozed off. You blink at your coworkers before focusing on the figure glaring down at you. Mr. Hansen has a hand in his pocket and a foot on the bottom of your chair. Shit.

“Working hard,” he muses tritely.

“I-I’m sorry,” you stutter, disoriented. You can’t believe you fell asleep. You hope this is just a dream, if so. “I… I didn’t–”

“Get up,” he demands.

You scramble to get to your feet. You reach for the chair and he kicks it further away. You’re overly aware of your audience. No one will look directly at you in fear that they might draw Hansen’s attention, but it’s obvious by the lack of typing that they are very aware of the scene.

“I’m very sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to. I was– I’ll stay awake. You don’t have to worry.”

“Go home,” he says curtly.

“Home? No, I can make it through the day. It was a mistake.”

“Go. Home.” He repeats pointedly, “this isn’t a hotel.”

“Please,” you murmur, “please, Mr. Hansen,” you clutch your hands together, trying not to speak too loud, embarrassed as your voice cracks, “I–”

“Don’t make me call security,” he warns as he steps back on one heel, his posture victorious. He arches a brow in challenge. You’re certain he’d love to see that, you dragged out like an intruder. “Come back Monday, well-rested, and HR will deal with your disciplinary report.”

“What?” You gulp. In all your time there, you’d never been written up. Not once.

“Keep digging that hole.”

“Okay, okay,” you go to your desk and open the drawer to pull your bag out. You hook it on your shoulder and turn around, nearing him as you reach for the coat hung on the back of your chair. He watches you with a smug smirk, “I’ll be back Monday.”

“We’ll see.”

His ominous words put you on edge. You recoil and stare at him. What does he mean by that? You’re not stupid enough to ask. You put your head down and march out, burning with embarrassment as you pass your rapt audience.

“Hey,” Hansen claps his hands, “back to work.”

🗄️

You barely make it home. You set an alarm as you get in the front door and collapse on the couch. You don’t care that it’s lumpy and uncomfortable, you don’t care about anything. You forget all your worries for the blackness that clogs your mind.

As quickly as you close your eyes, your ringer goes off. You wake with a groan and roll over, shoulders cramped and stiff as you reach for your phone. Two o’clock already. Your head pulses with the dregs of fatigue. You feel marginally better.

You fill a travel mug and head out to pick up the kids. Along the way, you can’t help but shrink behind the wheel as the morning pricks in your mind. You don’t expect things to go well on Monday.

You pass a Burger King and slow down. You don’t have the money for a Whopper. No, that’s not what you’re thinking. It’s not spending you’re planning on.

You pull in and get out. You enter and approach the counter, sheepish as a twentysomething greets you from the other side.  You smile as you come forward.

“How can I help you ma’am?” He asks, hands on the side of the till.

“Oh, uh, I was… I was looking for an application,” you eke out. “For a job.”

He nods, you see the surprise flick in his lashes, “oh, well, we don’t have physical applications anymore but…” he reaches over to a stack of small flyers beside the till, “if you scan this QR code it will take you right to careers page.”

“Um, right, yeah, makes sense,” you take the slip as he offers it, “thank you.”

“You lookin’ to order?” He prompts with a strained smile.

“No, sorry, I gotta go get my kids,” you fold the flier and turn away, “have a good one.”

You head back to your car. You drop into the driver seat and curse. Fuck, your hips are killing you. You don’t imagine doing weekends standing behind a till will do much for that but you don’t have much of a choice. Even with the second job, you doubt you’ll be able to pay for the babysitter to cover it. What a stupid idea.

You shove the flier into your purse and back out from between the lines. You check the time as you set out to the school. You arrive just as the bell rings and the kids are let out into the yard. 

You find Malik with the other grade ones as Simone seeks you out on her own, too cool to hang around with the other grade sixes. She can be a bit of a loner but not in a sad way. She can intimidate even you.

“Hey, how was school?” You ask as you take them to the car, “did you do anything fun?”

Malik tells you about the popsicle stick houses they made as you buckle him into his car seat and Simone does up her seat belt on her own. You nod and smile, humouring your son’s slightly lisping story.

“What about you, Simone?” You ask as you look over at her.

“I just read. I’m almost done number four,” she shows the cover of her latest fantasy series, “but they wouldn’t let me stay in the library during recess.”

“Good, you need the fresh air,” you tease, “speaking of, I was thinking we could go for a hike this weekend. How does that sound?”

“A hike?” She grimaces, “is dad coming?”

“Err, we’ll see,” you shrug, “I spend all day in the office, I’d like to get out before the winter gets here.”

“I’ll go if dad does,” Simone opens her book, “it won’t be any fun without him.”

“Daddy, daddy,” Malik claps his hands, “I love daddy!”

“I’ll ask him,” you nod and keep a frown from tugging at your lips. 

You stand straight and gently close the back door. You round to the driver’s door and get it, quiet as you turn the engine. You’re not even good enough for your own kids.

[godisaknife]

I'm gonna be real with you, every wincest take I see relies heavily on fanon interpretations of the characters and their relationships. It's really not as integral as y'all think it is. Don't get me wrong, ship whatever you want, you do you, I just really don't see it. Unhealthy family dynamics? Sure. Parentification? Sure. Incest between Sam and Dean on any level but the show poking fun at the concept? Nope. Not at all. To be totally honest there's a more incestuous dynamic between John and Dean, but even that's mostly emotional incest (which is to do with the unhealthy dynamic of parents putting their feelings and issues onto their kids, it doesn't even have anything specific to do with actual incest). The parallel to Bela and her Dad doesn't help. Idk, I just don't see it. Like Webb Sherman and Keegan Sherman from Bounty Hunters? That's subtextual incest, not whatever is going on with Sam and Dean. Not to mention the characters that do allude to it in-universe are completely tapped themselves and have to be manipulative in order to even keep Sam and Dean together (Azazel - without him Sam would've stayed at Stanford, Zachariah - Dean during 4x17 didn't want to follow his destiny as a hunter and was totally fine parting ways, Soulless Sam himself - he only wanted Dean when he thought he was useful, Dean only stayed with him because of Bobby's speech and Sam potentially killing innocents).

i might say something controversial here but, first of all, i personally think that emotional and psychological incest is enough to be considered incest. especially when it comes to a show that doesn't allow the usage of the word "fuck", because incest is never going to be allowed to be shown on screen or talked about openly, so all we will ever be allowed to hear and see are implications and subtext. dean and john sure do have their own incestual subtext, but i do think that sam and dean have a very strong one on their own, i'd say all one had to do is look it up and plenty of lines and body language taken directly from the show will prove what im talking about. let's see a random example: one of the most recent posts ive reblogged that come to my mind is crowley saying that his valet has hidden a device to locate them in their car and "oh, the things i've heard" followed by dean and sam looking uncomfortably at each other. yes, it's can be a joke but it is heavy in implications. it is not a joke one would even think of making to a couple of normal siblings because if there was no substance to make implications about then the joke wouldn't land as such, as anything at all, because the one making it would come out as a groundless creep and the siblings wouldn't have any reason to be worried or uncomfortable about it. so why do they look so uncomfortable and worried about it? and this is a random example. such little things are scattered throughout the show. and that is only one part of the subtext. the dynamic, the relationship, the history they have, i think all of it is permeated with incest subtext that cannot be made explicit and is, at least to me, more interesting by being covert in a way you have to translate it yourself in order to fully see and understand it. i do not agree with what you said about them held together by other characters' manipulation. i see what you see and i see why one may think so, but outside forces are necesarry to drive characters and their story, in any story there is always an amount of outsider elements. yes, sometimes they are pushed in one or other direction by someone else, but at the end it is them who make the conscious decision to stick with each other, to break the distance, to come back to each other. despite all the things that have happened between them, for one reason or another, they always choose to come back to each other because of their abnormal obsession and love for each other. i got into the show curious as per why wincest is a ship and when i started watching the show i was pleasantly surprised by how obvious their incestual relationship is, especially to an eye trained to notice "fucked up" themes. i'd elaborate more on all of this properly but i'm on withdrawal so this is the best i can do atm

[web-novel-polls]

Just saw your tags on the transmigration poll and you are SO RIGHT. In cases like SVSSS, where the transmigration is vital to the plot and the writer does a good job with it, then I love it. But most of the time, I almost actively avoid transmigration. I'll put in on my to-read and then never read it because...why?? There isn't a law against just writing normal historical/wuxia/xianxia novels without the transmigration. If it's necessary, it's fine, but there are lots of novels where the plot doesn't hinge on transmigration and it's almost like a...bonus? except that I don't want the bonus and I think the novel would be better without it.

Yeah, I think it's a pretty common sentiment tbh. At least, I've heard it before lol. For me, it's not really a "I'll never read it" thing, but a "oh, I've started reading this, and I think it would be better without it" (<-will read/watch pretty much anything). The one that probably irks me the most, even if it somewhat makes sense, is The Most Heretical Last Boss Queen where the main character HAS precognition (or had it before learning she's in a game). It's right there!!! The entire driving force of "I don't want to become the evil person from the future" is BUILT-IN!!! The mystery of WHY she would do something like that is ROBBED under the complacency of "oh, she's a different person"!

(To be clear, I did enjoy the anime and am not that mad, but I don't need the main character to be an entirely different person to root for her and her quest to not cause suffering. I think it would have been MORE interesting if it was JUST her ("the evil one") seeing the future & not wanting to cause it.)

Anyway, my two top-notch transmigration/isekai/reincarnation recommendations (that no one asked for, but I'll give anyway) are Resetting Lady and Serial Killer Isekai. I've been reading the manhwa/manga for them, and Resetting Lady delves more into the world and herself/family/story while Serial Killer Isekai is more about a certain... task... that main character is given (though those elements are also present). I'm sure there's more, possibly less-bloody ones I've liked and can't remember off the top of my head, but these two are at the top of my recommendation list.

I know The Novel's Extra and Lout of the Count's Family (LCF/TCF) are also varyingly popular & I liked what I read of them (didn't get super far, but I know there's interesting stuff behind/with/due to the transmigration).

Also, I'm legally obligated to shill for The Demon Prince Goes to the Academy (DPA) under any and all circumstances, even if it does fall closer to "unnecessary transmigration" (the transmigration is closely tied to the main character's reasoning and actions that meaningfully impact the plot, but it's not an active element quite like the other stories I recommended). The ending kind of sucks, but it's about the trip there, okay?

(Feel free to put recommendations in the notes/ask box, btw. It's always morally correct)