#the caption is a joke™️

[nanihirunkits]

#october 26th airdate for episode 1 confirmed /hj ⟡ credit: mesemerry_

[itsjustloudy]

Since it’s about time for New Year’s I feel like I should share one of my patented Weird Ass Dreams™️ that takes place around this time:

A bunch of people, along with myself were looking out of a large window and Jupiter was very visible in the sunset. Everyone was gawking at how pretty it is when a projection of Eggman from the Sonic games popped up and told us that Jupiter’s orbit was fucked up or something and it was gonna collide with Earth and there was no way to stop it. (This wasn’t an evil plan of his, he was just relaying information.)

While people were freaking out and prepping for New Year’s Eve (that was when the world was gonna end I guess) I went on twitter and posted a picture I took of Eggman with the caption ‘I’ve come to make an announcement’ and a SHITLOAD of people got mad at me. They were pissed I was making a joke about our inevitable demise but honestly what else was I supposed to do? There was no way of stopping a literal planet so I might as well be a clown for a bit

[meteorsage]

Things my brain thinks it predicted

In 2019 I committed to a very risky decision

So there I am, 5k miles from home, explaining to someone that if she's not the queen of their block then she's probably in a cult

She says that because I pray I must be in a cult too

I don't remember everything I say, I remeber breaking every point down to explain it thoroughly. She thought it would be funny to have me autistically explain metaphors and I, for reasons that made sense at the time, said "sale y vale"

- iron crown defeats draconian; I thought this would be an astrological event. It was not

- 2 Mayan bros, like the hero story, both in comic book movies from different halves of the world; yall see those Blue Beetle and One Piece live action movies? I'm glad Iñaki got to dub himself

- a rosy idol-of-idols that rises out of a field of grass in the Midwest, and is worshipped by rosy-tinted folks of all shades. Where the Gaga implied, she *is*. She does not have "ironic" enjoyers, only "zealots" and "zero-interests". Karma is her kink, she says so in a song. [The host asked me if that was my favorite song, I said mine was about the pretty pink horses, she references a slur for gay men, I ask if me wearing a pastel star would make things easier for her]

- A movie about a baby deer, effect is people empathetic to men who go though abuse. They still interview the abuser [My host commented that this sounded like a self-pitying fantasy]

- Colbert & Carell reminiscing on the late show when Colbert turns 60 because "60" is when someone is officially Old™️ [The host asked about Carell, I said that they used to a popular skit together on The Daily Show. She insists, Colbert is from The Colbert Report. She is right, so am I]; it happened, adorable 🥹

- A streak of green fire shines in the sky and lights a crown; I thought this was about the idol from before, it wasn't 🍀☄️

- The lit crown will sparkle for a year and a half before twinkling brightly. It's glimmer to catch the eye of the whole world; NASA confirms we're gonna see a supernova out by Corona Borealis between now and Sept 2024

- trump wears a diaper and then trump fans wear em too

- The liberal candidate wins re-election, immediately regrets it [my host wanted details. I didn't know and guessed Biden, "he's old as balls and doesn't want the job, but he's also Obama-Adjacent & that's all the dems had for Clinton in 2016"]

- trump fans federally shit the bed [The host asks why the diapers didn't help. I don't know, "must've been before that" I guess]

- "idiot-kings will rise and a Plauge will grip the world for a week, a fortnight, a year, and then half a decade. Maybe more. Its life grows with humanity's arrogance, colosseum entertainment for kings running out of a crowd to impress" [I left my host a Doctor Who themed shirt, captioned "Stay in the Light" and featured an astronaut skeleton]

- Still no TES 6, Princess Zelda gets her own Zelda game, 50 flavors of overwatch

- return of "Silver Dollars" [I'm hoping for new coins]

- cruelty will become cringe, and "cruel humor" will be seen in the same light as "homophobic humor"

- 5 penny stocks go incredibly high, as a joke, and break the illusion of control the financial oligarchs have curated. It only stops being funny a while after the 5th time [My host empathizes with the oligarchs and their need to control others]

- Revolutions in equatorial countries results in more stable democracy than decades of "Stable Democracy" meddling in local politics

- Jimmy Kimmel is replaced with a holographic emoji operated by an algorithm. It improves the show

[marlena-immortale]

vic captioning her posts with ‘holy mom’ is making me think thoughts™️ she definitely has some kinda mistress/mommy kink

I can definitely see Vic wanting to be called mommy. I feel like she would be someone to bring it up as a joke at first and then when you actually say it back she realizes that she actually loves it.

[chaosnightmare]

The Stanley Parable iceberg explained in simple short words and not a video because god....

A while ago I made this iceberg and said I would explain it in a video. I lied. Had like 5 major technical fuckups with it and then completely lost access to that hard drive so that plan flew out the window, but hey! I can try to explain it simply and quickly here. At least. It's nothing as in-depth as I think it should be, but it'll do as far as basic rundowns go.

Broom Closet - A very popular part of the game. Head through the left door and just before the stairs there will be a room marked "Broom Closet" that you can enter. Que funny dialogue.

The End Is Never - An infinitely loopable sentence that can sometimes display on the loading screen instead of "Loading Loading Loading".

Go Outside - An achievement acquired by not playing the game for 5 years. I'm never gonna get this one.

Out Of Bounds - "Ending" you can get by climbing on an employee desk, crouching, moving onto the desk right next to it, and jumping out the window. No I don't remember what number the desk is but it's the one with the pulled chair right beside the window in the first room outside Stanley's office.

Baby Game - In the Blue Door Ending, The Narrator has you play a game where you continuously press a button to stop a cardboard cutout of a baby from going up in flames. The Narrator says you should play it for about 4 hours, which you can actually do and get a separate Ending.

8 - Refers to a lot of things. Typically an edited voice clip of I think Davey Wreden saying "EIGHT". First showed up to my knowledge in the demo. The achievement in the full game if I recall correctly is acquired by just pushing "8888" into the keypad behind the desk repeatedly.

Random Rooms - The rooms you travel through in between important game content are randomized. Pretty sure William Pugh says it's to make the player feel like the game's more complicated or smarter than it actually is.

Input Received - An ending you get by finding computers in the office that say "awaiting input", pressing them, restarting, and doing it over and over until you end up in button heaven.

TM - If you check the game's captions, The Line™️ always has that "TM" after every reference to It™️. Weird gender.

The Beginner's Guide - Another game by Davey Wreden. Has some fanbase overlap with TSP. Very very good but doesn't have anything to do with TSP outside of a mention at the start of the game.

Demo - Game's got one. The whole thing's basically a big gag. The Narrator spends the whole demo trying to get the ACTUAL demo to start but it keeps going wrong and he keeps getting upset because without a proper demo, the player has no idea what they're getting into if they buy the game. The joke being that the demo is literally a perfect gateway into the full game.

Unused Dialogue Room - I'm always a whore for the unused dialogue. In the Museum Ending, there's a room you can visit with faint cut bits of narration for you to listen to. Technically a monologue. NOT EDITING THE PICTURE AGAIN

Raphael - An allegedly real man who allegedly really emailed the fictional character of The Narrator to tell him how bad he thought the original game was. Email was read and parodied in a trailer for the HD Remake. You should watch it it's very very funny.

Portal Assets - The game uses some. You can even spawn in companion cubes using the dev console and I think also get a portal gun.

Unachievable - An achievement in the game. You can actually get it but every time someone thinks they've figured out how the devs change how you get it. Sometimes awarded randomly.

Once You Go Secret - You Never Go Becret. A dumb phrase used throughout a few secrets in the game.

Serious Room - A room The Narrator will teleport you to if the game catches you trying to activate server cheats. The Narrator scolds you for trying to break the game. If you do it a second time you get more dialogue but after that it's not much until you restart.

3 Minutes Song - A song by Tim Minchin. There's a corner of the red screen that pops up when you turn on the mind control that has the end of a YouTube URL for this song. Joke is that the Explosion Ending lasts about 3 minutes.

Bark - Command you can enter into the console that changes all button press sounds to barking.

Bathroom Wall Writing - Sometimes the game will let you into the bathroom in the bosses office. The writing on the wall in there is randomized.

Aperture Experiment Theory - A theory that looks at the game through the lens of Portal canon and explains the game as a psychological experiment by Aperture Science.

Explosion Ending Buttons - Some buttons you can find in the Explosion Ending are references to other games.

Facepunch - Type this out at any point during the game (without pausing) and the game will swap most textures out with the Facepunch logo.

Whiteboard Ending - In one of the random rooms, you can open an employee door and enter the "Whiteboard Ending". Not an actual ending, just a room.

Clippy CCTV - On one of the CCTV monitors, Clippy makes a cameo. You can't really see it in game, but you can see it in the game files.

Monolith - For a while the very last part of the Baby Game Ending featured a strange, Kubrickeqsue black monolith. This was a glitch in the way the game displayed a door and has since been patched.

Vinh - Typing this during the credits triggers a weird easter egg that I'm pretty sure is probably an inside joke.

Alt. Escape Pod - A fan-modded alternate escape pod ending. Featuring the real Kevan Brighting!

Chell's Body - A glitch that can occur if you stand juuuust right (er. just wrong?) in a certain doorway. Allows you to see yourself in 3rd person, revealing that the playermodel is actually a glitched model of Chell.

Choice Video Changes - In the Not Stanley Ending, you'll encounter a video presentation about choice. You're introduced to a hypothetical real person named "Steven", and told he could either help or set fire to orphans and citizens of impoverished 3rd world nations. Originally, it featured him lighting an orphan's cigarette and then setting him on fire, but this was changed to be more subtle after a schoolteacher complained that the joke was insensitive and Davey Wreden agreed.

CCTV Room Pit - There is a large pit at the bottom of the CCTV room that you can actually jump into by climbing up on a chair. This is unintentional, so there's nothing down there.

Actual Unused Dialogue - I don't remember what this is referring to.

Second Stanley - Exiting the first part of the office fast enough will sometimes let you see a second Stanley walking his own path through a window. Some people theorize that this is actually another employee.

432 - Said other employee. Has a lot of very mysterious references to them throughout easter eggs and whatnot. Thought to have escaped before Stanley.

Demonstation - A typo the team accidentally made during the making of the demo, but they thought it was so funny that it stuck.

Dallas's Mask - An easter egg you can find in the Confusion Ending.

The Narrator And Stanley Are The Same Person - A theory about the game basically stating that The Narrator only exists as a part of Stanley's imagination, and is therefore Stanley himself.

Dr. Langeskov - A very similar (although shorter) game that William had a part in making. If you play both this and The Beginner's Guide, it'll give you a little insight into what parts of TSP were Davey's writing, and what parts were William's.

Hidden Dev Text - There's hidden dev comments and jokes in the game files. Particularly, there's a cup texture that features a full unseen rant from one of the texture artists.

1947 - Code to the keypad in the original version of the game. Putting it into the keypad in the HD version will trigger the old dialogue to play.

Purgatory Theory - Theory that Stanley is trapped in purgatory after having died.

The Narrator Hums In The Elevator - In the bosses office, there's a room that will sometimes open that features an elevator you can really walk into, though it doesn't go anywhere. If you stay here long enough, you can hear The Narrator hum along to the music and comment that he's getting bored.

Narrator Letter - A letter from The Narrator in the Collectors Edition guide book. Features his signature! I really recommend finding the book online and giving it a quick read it's great. Everything about this game is lovely.

Canceled Mobile Game - The Stanley Parable had a mobile game in the works that got canned because Davey Wreden didn't sense any passion or love for the project from the team working on it.

DOTA 2 - There's a Narrator announcer pack for this game. You can find the full pack on YouTube and it's very charming and funny.

Broken Short Start - A glitch that can occur at any time but is known to occur on fresh installs of the game. Activated by getting the shortest randomized office, (the one that's just a hallway) standing in the doorway just before the two doors room and just kind of moving wrong. It'll lock you inside the office until you restart. As you could maybe tell, the game doesn't load doorways very gracefully.

Octodad - If you look up at the ceiling during that part of the demo where everything's going to hell in a handbasket, you can see Octodad. I don't know why!

Maladaptive Daydream Theory - Maladaptive Daydreaming is a psychological condition wherein the sufferer daydreams so often and for such incredible periods of time that it becomes detrimental to their daily life. This can escalate to the point that the person starts to have trouble distinguishing memories of daydreams with memories of things that happened in reality. This is explored a little bit in the game, where in one ending, the game is revealed to be an elaborate daydream Stanley is having that is bleeding into his home and work life so much that it's ruining him.

Narrator Loudspeaker - All Narrator dialogue is actually coming from a loudspeaker aways just out of bounds in each map. This likely has nothing to do with game canon and is just the easy way to get dialogue to play with the engine the devs used.

Collectors Edition - A limited edition physical copy of the game distributed by Indiebox. Came with a lot of limited merch.

Soundtrack Titles - Refering to the idea that all of the titles for the game's soundtrack are from The Narrator's perspective.

Franz - A guy who existed? Who maybe died? It's very weird. You can find more info about it on the TSP Wiki.

Demo Surveys - Though hard to see, there are papers lying about in the demo waiting room that feature surveys filled out by Davey and William.

Workplace Harassment In Menu Audio - There's audio of a busy office workplace constantly playing on the main menu. A few people noticed that you can hear a guy being scolded by his boss in the background and some people say it sounds like he's being let off the hook for workplace harassment. There was an Oddheader video that featured this discovery and he pulled a classic YouTuber move and asked "why on earth they'd put this in the game" but I think it was probably stock audio thrown in last minute that nobody cared to check and the guy who made it just recorded his office for a while to sell for a quick buck.

Reddit AMA - Held by Davey, William, and Kevan one day. You can still find the full post. Has a lot of funny moments.

Hi Timmy! - A weird text file you can find in the game.

4 Jokes - Okay so during a talk William Pugh did on stealing ideas and masking uncleverness he told the story of a game called "4 Jokes". It's a ridiculous, hilarious, and very obviously fictional story, but I have no idea if the game it was based on actually existed. As far as I know, it didn't.

NA NA N AN ANA NA - A strange bit of unused/placeholder text for the Baby Game Ending.

Lost Mobile Content - By way of the game being canceled, we have no idea what a lot of the content looked like, but when the cancelation announcement was made on the now defunct blog for Galactic Cafe, Davey released some interesting clips of Narrator lines that would never see the light of day. Because these were never archived by the wayback machine, unless someone has them archived personally, these previews are lost to time.

ui\office_soundscape.wav - A "glitch" in the game that causes the whole game to lock up and not start if it detects a problem with the file "ui\office_soundscape.wav". This is actually caused by the game failing a Steam validity check. Though Davey claims that he has no idea how this happened, it's thought by many to be an attempt at DRM. It doesn't work very well, if that's the case, because it's known to trigger on legitimate copies of the game. It happened on my copy just by me not being on the internet for a bit too long (about a year).

And that's it! There's probably gonna be more when Ultra Deluxe comes out, but that's for another time. Thanks for reading

[coconut-cluster]

Hi this is the bet anon again, can i hear more about the kiss and how the other 4 reacted did they already know or was it still a very new thing? Also who won the bet? Thank you :)

roman and virgil had been together on the DL for like two weeks at that point, and virgil literally just. forgot they were streaming, because he was coming back from getting them drinks from roman’s fridge and roman was just going on with some inside joke they had and virgil’s like “wow ur such a dork. fortunately for you i am attracted to stupid” and kissed him. and for a second they’re like ☺️�� and then virgil’s like oh that’s. that’s a camera. we streamed that. oh god

but as for the others’ reactions:

Remus screenshots it and posts it on his twitter captioned “:)” because he’s been fueling prinxiety conspiracies since day one just for fun

Logan wins the bet like he knew he would because those two are disasters

Janus also knew Logan would win but was hoping the Disasters™️ would manage to dance around each other for just a month or two more so he’d win and get 20 bucks

Patton sees twitter blow up and just turns to the others like “see I told you they were dating”

[sugdenlovesdingle]

Robert Week day 3  -  Iconic™️ / Sassiness

It’s all about politics (AO3 link)

Politics AU - Robert’s hook up turns out to work for his and Nicola’s political opponent

---

Robert was hungover. Very hungover. Even if the night before had been more than worth it, he wished he could turn around and go home and crawl back into bed.

But if he did that Nicola would probably drag him back to the office herself.

So instead he took another sip of his coffee and winced as he took off his sunglasses and put them in his pocket.

“Robert, Nicola is looking for you. She’s in her office and she’s not happy.” Priya, one of his colleagues, warned him.

“Is she ever?” Robert sighed. “What did Jimmy do this time to piss her off?”

“I don’t know, but if there’s ever a time to smile and nod and tell her she’s right about everything, it’s today.”

“So what else is new?”

“Just giving you a heads up.” Priya told him, then paused to take a good look at him. “Weren’t you wearing that outfit yesterday too?”

“I better go in and see Nicola.” Robert said instead of answering her question.

He walked to Nicola’s office and mentally braced himself for the yelling that would probably follow.

“You wanted to see me?” he said sweetly when he walked into her office.

“Well actually I wanted to kill you but that would be bad for my campaign.”

“Lucky me then that you’re running for office.” Robert joked but Nicola’s face was still set to murder. “Anyway, what’s up?” he asked.

“This.” She said pointing at a newspaper on her desk. “What the hell is this?”

“That’s what we call a newspaper.” Robert said, “It’s what people read to find out what’s happening in the world.”

“Don’t get cute with me, Robert. You know damn well what I mean.”

“No I don’t. What did the tabloids print about you this time? Or did Charity Dingle say something about you?”

“Oh no it’s not about me. They’ve found a much more interesting subject to write about.”

“Yeah? What’s that then?”

“Look!” she shoved the paper in his face “This isn’t happening. Please tell me that’s your long lost twin.”

Robert looked at the paper and saw pictures of himself from last night.

Pictures of himself in a gay bar he’d gone to with some of the campaign staff to blow off some steam, and pictures of himself and one guy in particular. In the bar, kissing and laughing, and in the alley behind the bar, doing other stuff that he was glad the paparazzo hadn’t been able to get a clear picture of.

Even though it was obvious what they were doing.

“Sleeping with the enemy.” Robert read aloud. “That’s a bit dramatic isn’t it?”

“Dramatic? Do you have any idea who that guy is, Robert?”

“Uhm… his name is Aaron… I think.” Robert said and checked his phone where he’d saved a picture of the guy with his name as the caption. “Yep. Definitely Aaron.”

“Last name?”

“I don’t know Nicola, we didn’t quite get around to telling each other our entire family history.” Robert said exasperated. “We were kind of busy doing other things.” He added with a grin.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“That’s what he said last night.”

Nicola gave him a death stare.

“Are you going to meet up with him again?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. Hopefully.”

“You can’t.”

“What? Since when do you get any say in that?”

“Since that’s Aaron DINGLE, Robert. Charity Dingle’s nephew or whatever. He works for her!”

“Oh.”

“Yes. Oh.” Nicola let out a frustrated grunt. “I should just sack you as damage control.”

“You wouldn’t. You need me.”

“Like a hole in the head.” Nicola deadpanned. “I should promote Priya and sack you.” She muttered. “Did he say anything about Charity or the campaign? Or our campaign?”

“No. I know it’s hard to imagine for you but not everyone spends their every waking hour thinking and talking about the great Nicola King.”

“I should really sack you. You were a sure thing, Robert! You had the perfect fiancée and the built in kid, what happened?”

“The kid was a psychopath.”

“Yeah and you slept with your sister in law. Which the papers loved of course.”

“Well then at least it made someone happy.”

“Oh she wasn’t good enough for you? You cost me my seat on the council last time with that stunt!” Nicola yelled.

“I was bored, she wanted to make her boyfriend jealous. Didn’t work out.” Robert shrugged. “But aren’t the latest numbers in your favour?”

“Not in every district. I need Nora and Helen on side and they both fancy you. For reasons unknown…”

“What, you want me to go seduce them or something?”

“Well that’s not going to work anymore now is it? Now the whole country knows you’re gay.”

“I’m not gay, I’m bi.” Robert corrected her. “And I very much doubt anyone cares about the campaign manager of some random woman running for a place on the local council.”

“I need to win this time ok, Robert? I am not losing to Charity Dingle again.” Nicola went on, ignoring Robert. “I mean I’m already behind because she’s a lesbian and her wife is a vet. I can’t compete with that can I? A lesbian lover and cute, fluffy bunnies!” She ranted.

“I’m pretty sure she’s bi, not gay.”

“Same thing!” Nicola yelled, frustrated. “Wait. How do you know that? Did Aaron tell you that?”

“No. We didn’t talk much at all, let alone about that.” Robert told her. “But she was at pride last summer waving a bi pride flag.”

“She was? How do you know?”

“I was there. And it was in the paper.” Robert shrugged. “The same one you’ve just thrown in my face.”

Nicola looked at the paper on her desk again and Robert could see the cogs turning in her head.

“I need the gays to like me too. I need the gay vote.”

“And how do you plan on doing that?” Robert sighed.

“I don’t know… I need you to find out what Charity Dingle is doing to make the gays like her. Call Aaron, go out with him again, see what you can find out!”

“Oh I can go out with him again now? Ten minutes ago I wasn’t allowed to see him again.”

“If you’re going to shag Aaron bloody Dingle in some dodgy alley, you better make it worth my while.”

“I have to make my sex life worth your while?” Robert said laughingly. “I thought we’d put that behind us a long time ago?”

Nicola glared at him.

“We all make mistakes. Now go call Aaron and see what you can find out from him about Charity.”

“What if I don’t like him? What if I just used him to get to his mate?”

“Tough! Do as you’re told for once!”

Robert rolled his eyes and grabbed the paper off Nicola’s desk.

“What do you want with that?”

“Frame it and send it to my mother for Christmas.” Robert said sarcastically and laughed to himself when he heard Nicola call him every swear word she knew.

He loved his job, he loved the attention and being able to play with people’s opinion to make them vote in their favour, but sometimes he loved winding up Nicola even more.

After a quick stop off at the office kitchen to get himself some more coffee, he settled in a quiet corner to take a good look at the pictures. They really weren’t the most flattering and there really wasn’t any doubt as to what they were doing in the alley, but he couldn’t bring himself to care much.

Not when he saw the way Aaron was looking at him in those pictures.

He got his phone out and snapped a picture of the paper and sent it to Aaron.

Looks like we’re famous now.

The reply came almost instantly.

- Looks like it. What will we do with this new found fame?

Robert smiled at his phone.

I don’t know. Maybe we should discuss it over lunch?

- Alright. Your place or mine?

I didn’t mean that kind of lunch, but I guess I can be persuaded ;)

- Later. I do need to eat. I know a good place. 12.30 ok?

Sure. Text me the address and I’ll be there.

- Good answer

They texted back and forth for a while until Aaron said he had to go and he’d meet him at a café a friend of his owned.

Robert decided to stay in his hiding place and got his laptop out of his bag to try get some work done. Only his mind kept drifting back to the night before and he ended up searching the internet for more pictures of the two of them. He found a few more on the tabloid’s website and the club’s Facebook page.

Some of the comments under the tabloid article were the standard shocked housewives who complained the paper shouldn’t post those kind of pictures, as well as a few homophobes, but nothing too interesting.

Facebook was a lot of eggplant emojis and some comments on how they’d clearly enjoyed themselves. No mention of Nicola or his connection to her campaign. Or Aaron’s connection to Charity’s.

The rest of the morning went by quickly and thankfully his hangover was starting to subside by the time he left the office to go meet Aaron for lunch.

When he got to the café Aaron was already there, talking to a guy Robert recognised as one of the friends he’d been at the bar with the night before.

“Hey.” Robert said, walking up to them. “I haven’t kept you waiting, have I?”

“No, no, it’s fine. I just got here.” Aaron told him. “I was just trying to convince Ellis to give us a free lunch because he’s a good friend and friends look after each other.”

“Yeah and I told him he can just pay like everyone else.” Ellis said and patted Aaron’s shoulder before walking away.

“Do you want to get a table?” Robert asked and Aaron nodded and they sat down at the nearest free table.

“So you saw the paper then.” Aaron stated.

“Yeah. Nicola shoved it in my face this morning. And yelled at me for sleeping with the enemy.”

“Ouch.”

“It’s alright. She yells at me a lot… it’s kind of our thing.” Robert explained. “I do something she doesn’t like, she yells at me and threatens to sack me, or actually does sack me, I stay out of her way for a few hours and we go on like nothing happened.”

Aaron laughed.

“Interesting dynamic.”

“What’s it like working for Charity Dingle then?”

“I don’t really work for her to be honest. I just get dragged into it from time to time.” Aaron told him. “She’s my mum’s cousin and well, they’re Dingles so they’re all about family, you know.”

Robert nodded.

“Nicola hates that about her. She’s been trying to get the perfect white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a Labrador thing going for years but it’s not really working out.”

“And what about you? Any white picket fences in your near future?”

Robert leaned forward on the table a little.

“Not right now… but never say never. When the right person comes along… sure. But right now, I’m just enjoying being single.”

“And going home with blokes you just met in a club.”

“And enjoying it thoroughly.”

A waitress stopped by their table to take their order and came back with their food in record time.

“It helps when you know the owner.” Aaron said with grin.

“Obviously. I think I should keep hanging out with you. It’s got it’s perks.”

They kept flirting as they ate and Robert was ready to sack of work for the rest of the week and just spend it with Aaron. Preferably wearing a lot less clothing than they were now.

“Charity lost her shit over the paper this morning.” Aaron said. “Told me to stay away from anyone that works for the snake.” He added laughingly.

“I’m glad you don’t listen to her then.”

“It’s kind of exciting isn’t it? Sneaking around.”

“Forbidden love.” Robert agreed. “Romeo and… erm… Romeo”

Aaron laughed

“How about just Robert and Aaron?”

Robert smiled.

“That sounds pretty good to me.”

“What are you doing the rest of the day?” Aaron asked after a minute.

“Nothing that can’t wait.”

“I was hoping you’d say that. Do you want to get out of here?”

Robert dropped a 20 pound note on the table.

“Gladly.”

[bisluthq]

As much as I thought Jack and Gary were joking around and having fun a lot in the interviews, I did think Jack seemed less energetic (?) than I’ve seen him in the press for other things. But I thought I was just imagining it. I thought that the pictures of him being that drunk and the fact that none of his friends seemed to be there was sad. And then the post about being alone and the post on the train and the stories cooking screamed “I am alone”. I also was kind of 😬 when there was that tweet about her clubbing the same week we got the drunk pictures, but I thought “they don’t have to be miserable when they’re away from each other, they can party with friends”. I thought it was all just me but now I think I was right and I think the partying might have been because they were miserable. She doesn’t even have Instagram but she was probably asleep when he posted for her birthday. Maybe he was thinking about her because it was her birthday but it was already over for her and he was feeling kind of sad and posted about it? Not only were the captions completely different compared to last year, but last year they were having a cute picnic on a mountain and this year she was getting ready to wrap and probably very busy and might not have even been able to speak much, especially if a lot of people were trying to get a hold of her. He just seems sad honestly

Yeah I mean it’s not like a good vibe. As very realism based celeb gossip analysts of like theeee most boring people alive tbh we rarely have drama and this doesn’t feel like Drama™️ but it’s not coming off well so - hope they sort their shit out because they’re mad cute.

[tundrakatiebean]

In my opinion netflix has messed too much with the characters and major themes in their interpretation of A Series of Unfortunate Events. I think one of the most powerful messages of the book series was that adults may be the absolute worst™️ and continually place you in dangerous situations and ignore your stride, but you are stronger and more resourceful than you think.

The way Netflix has tweaked it to include more helpful adults, I suspect to quell the misunderstanding adult rage of “they all seem so stupid.” BUT I think that takes away from a major part of the books for me about surviving as a child in a continually abusive and awful society.

Good things: A Shining joke from the twins, an ideally hilarious aesthetic for the singing group at the hospital, Lucy Punch in a role that is so perfect for her I could pee from excitement, David Burtka in the last episode

Bad things: addition and subtraction of various characters that removes the appropriate level of weirdness and hopelessness that the books contain, THE BAD CLOSED CAPTIONING, chorus from the singing group that is somewhat derogatory to Hansen’s disease patients, white actress dressed up as a character that was written as a Romani inspired (aka that derogatory G word) fortune teller