#the caffeine is wearing off i think
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âLetâs go to the beach pekoâ i stare at u.
#no thanks. i choose my own destiny.#ok letâs go to Wisconsin dells and get on the spinny indoor water slide so we can all get shook up#first one to barf loses. has to pay for dinner#the caffeine is wearing off i think
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I wonder how jinx would react to caffeine. Or ekko.
#I think jinx would just get tired#so therefore if you touch her fucking caffeine you may or may not lose a hand#and Ekko would be zipping around and be productive until it wears off and absolutely wrecks him#like#on the floor 2 minutes after it wore off#arcane#jinx#jinx arcane#ekko#ekko arcane#weirdocat83 ramblings
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[ID: A selfie of a white lesbian wearing a white reusable respirator. /end ID]
New mask came in!
#my sister's bf bought me a weed drink#and it had green tea in it so I was like âwell naturally I need to have this in the morning so the caffeine doesn't keep me upâ#hoooo boy I don't think I should've finished that#it's fine it'll wear off by the time she gets off work#but damn I did not think this through
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Oh by the way if youâre wondering why Iâll make like ten really long tangentially related posts about niche parts of dragon age analysis in quick succession and then disappear completely for most of a day itâs because I just have like. So much adhd. Like it is dire up in here
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me: so yeah i feel super dizzy and lightheaded when i stand up and also just at random times of the day and also my heart just starts pounding randomly and it skips a beat randomly at least once a day and im also experiencing these other small things that i realized probably arent normal
the cardiologist: yeah, your heartâs beating too fast, but thatâs just Normal Teenager Thingsâ˘ď¸! probably just like dehydration or something lol
#at least he sent me for blood tests and stuff#(which all came back normal)#and i have to wear a heart monitor for three days#my parents got mad at me because its been happening for a while and i didnt say anything#but in my defense i genuinely just didnt know that it wasnt normal#i thought that it just happened sometimes#also i didnt know the amount until i actually started to have to track it for the heart monitor#and maybe im not drinking Enough water but i genuinely dont think thats the main issue#i could be completely wrong but it feels like its more than that#weâll see i guess#once im done with this and they get the results in and decide if they want to just brush it off or whatever#also had a nurse who was like weirdly insistent that i mustve been drinking a shit ton of soft drinks#just cause i mentioned that ill have a soft drink with meals sometimes (not nearly to the extent she was trying to say)#and she wouldnt believe me or my mom when we said that the soft drinks are pretty much always zero-sugar zero-caffeine#tachycardia#i mean thats what the doctor said it looks like#i dont really know what else to tag#chronic illness#maybe???#i dont know i dont have a diagnosis or anything so i dont wanna be like âoh thats def what that isâ#also#pots#possibly#i did a shit ton of research on my own and i just really felt like what i was experiencing was lining up with it#but i dont wanna self diagnose
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did I have too much caffeine why am i so anxious for no reason
#personal#probably too much caffeine lol i randomly decided to drink a cup of coffee last night#(i think i was worried i would get too tired while doing my readings)#i also had a night mare last night sad#oh well i'll be okay. this stuff wears off#tho i am not excited for today because it's busy af#at least it's my last busy day of the week
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love music so much, i'm gonna make some noises about it !!
#just me hi#WOUGH..#sounds sounds sounds !!#i've also had sweet tea n that has caffeine so this might be hyperness from that but OUGH#i wanna talk my head off about something but i do not know what. hmmmmm#there is a very large variety of things to pick..........#//oh i'm wearing one of my favorite shirts today :D !#i like the pattern and it's kinda soft#though sometimes it feels itchy.. dunno why that is !#also favorite pants#'you shouldn't wear corduroy when it's hot' well it is ever so nicely cooler outside so :33#still wore it during the summer...#in my defense these pants Are baggy. and comfortable hkfhv#//mnmnm also been thinking about worrying about Not worrying#cuz you know when you've got a pretty good feeling nothing bad is going to happen? i get that a lot so i'm usually coasting#but i Should be worrying. cuz i think that's what most people do here pfshv#but i'm here like 'well :) the Vibes aren't bad so' but what if they Are and i just don't know for some reason loll#it makes zero sense to worry about not worrying. things happen or don't happen n that's just how it is#and besides - i'm not going to get interrogated about 'why aren't you more concerned?' because that's a bit weird#but i dunno. it Does feel like that sometimes too lmfhsvh#cuz i think sometimes 'if i talk about this and don't seem worried enough- or if i mention it offhandedly w/o the gravity people would#associate with it- Could that look concerning?' and goouhhhhhhhhhghgh#it's a weird loop of thought lmfsvhhg#i'll figure it out at some point. i think for nooooow though.. :3#//i'm gonna draw later !! maybe do some redraws ? cuz i've been thinkin about them and ooouh they're calling me#OH also thinking about changing my banner + pfp but i dunno... i get attached hfbvhs#but YE. i'm gonna go get more tea and finish my Tasks :33#tooooooodles đ
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send help. it's supposed to be 91 degrees tomorrow. on my day off :(
#a sock speaks#work tag#food tag#it was high 80s today but I didn't even notice bc the air conditioner at restaurant job is punishingly high powered#I was wearing my long sleeved undershirt and leggings without any discomfort#but I have to run errands tomorrow and my car has no AC. the house also has no AC but is okayish at staying cool.#I wanted to make pizza today but didn't have time. might be too hot for pizza tomorrow :( but my ingredients are aging in the fridge#I finally got a paycheck but it's for the 2nd period I worked. I'm missing the first one and need to talk with the regional manager#and he's only in on Thursdays#also gotta request a day off to go to Portland with my cousin in 2 weeks#also gotta request off for orchestra which also starts in 2 weeks#also my aunt is trying to recruit me for a caregiving job and I'd have to take 3 weeks off to get trained#it'd be super easy to schedule both jobs once I'm trained but the training is a big time commitment#also restaurant job scheduled me for all graveyard shifts this week. if I can't adjust my sleep schedule I'll have to give a firm no on it#also gotta go to the bank to deposit my check and. uh. all of August's tips (terrifying)#also gotta call a vital records office in Maine about my mom's birth certificate bc we're trying to take her to Canada for her birthday#I don't think we have enough time but my sister wants to do it#also I want to finish knitting this sock that I started in June. I just have the toe left#also I finally confirmed the color and pattern for a baby blanket I'm preparing as a gift so I gotta get yarn#also I need to buy blackout curtains to fit my windows so I can sleep in the day if I work nights#also sometime this week my sister is cleaning the church. I want to go with her so I have an excuse to get ice cream from a shop nearby#also I need to clean my room and I should hang up the art prints & postcards I've been collecting for months#most of them are green to match my decor but some are just characters or scenes I like#oh! I also owe a postcard to a school friend#I had caffeine for the first time in several days and my brain is buzzing. there's so much I want to do and I have time to do it#and I'm excited about it!
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Time to play another game of "Do I have undiagnosed ADHD or is this normal?"
"Dopamine, the brain's feel-good chemical, plays a crucial role in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, as dopamine levels are often imbalanced or dysregulated in some brain regions. This can contribute to difficulties in maintaining focus, impulsivity, and challenges with executive functions. When people with adult ADHD consume caffeine, it can mimic stimulant medication. The increase in neurotransmitters dopamine and norepinephrine can lead to a sense of excitement or even euphoria."
#do i have a caffeine addiction or do i genuinely feel happier and more productive after getting a heavy shot of caffeine?#which is it#perhaps both are bad. i should probably not rely on caff to feel momentarily happy until it wears off.#...jokes aside i do think i probably have adhd or add or w/e#so much makes sense. and i think sometimes it would be nice to get a formal diagnosis#if only so *i* can stop badtalking myself and also idk. potentially make my parents understand some of my stumbling blocks.#but then i have also heard my dad say he doesn't think adhd exists and my mom thinks adhd makes people violent (???) so that might not help#(i say also suspecting my dad probably has adhd.)#but i would feel a little better lmao#merri mumbles
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Patron saints of the untreated adhd child
#day 3 of being medicated i literally painted today. like i wanted to do it and i did it. doing my hobbies not just Thinking about it.#shit slams!#i keep drinking caffeine tho and i feel it wear off at night so . yea
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đ¤đđ :) hi!
OH MY GOD ITS MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER HI BABE
asfhjkl ok lol
đ¤ what color is your hair?
brown and it's amazing. i love my hair it's my prized possession i'm like thors wife in norse mythology
đ Do you have any piercings?
4 or 8, depending on how you look at it :) four studs in each ear
đ What's your most prized possession?
we have a collection of hand painted glass dolls my grandmother brought over to the us when she moved from italy that i'd die for tbh
((from this!)
#rie talks#mariam i love you you are the best you deserve the world <3 <3#i think the caffeine high is starting to wear off also. so gnight pals#asks
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the sad thing with adhd meds is that i love drinking tea in the morning. however i hate how it feels to take my meds with caffeinated tea. much to consider here :/
#personal#adhd#also i have been craving caffeine less at least. Prob bc i was using it to self medicate kind of and i donât need to anymore#So itâs less hard to give up tea#I just legit think it tastes great :( Iâm gonna miss it#I mean itâs not like i canât have it once the meds wear off so itâs how awful at least#Maybe i should look into decaf tea
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I love imaging Dick, Tim, and Damian sneaking around trying to meet Jasons new gf because they just wanna be involved in his life and they know if they they leave it to Jay they wont meet her u til they're married with kids đ
AND âomg us meeting Jasonâs siblings whenâ
AN: Ngl I love this idea too, its so shitty of them but they have the best of intentions.
Damian
A boy no older than 14 with eyes that pierce the soul was not what you'd expected to find on Jason's couch the very first time he'd left you alone there. Jason had to dip out unexpectedly early, and had promised you run of the place until he got back so you'd slept in as long as you could and were on your way to make breakfast when you're greeted by the hell-child.
Once your initial fright wears off you realise you recognize him from a photo Jay had showed you which makes you feel slightly more at ease.
âGood morning? Damian right?â You offer as you pass him, be-lining for the coffee machine, you're gonna need caffeine if you're meeting any member of Jay's family for the first time. âCan I get you anything?â
âAlfred says it's unbecoming to sleep past 9.â Besides the initial glare he'd graced you with as you emerged from the bedroom, he doesn't even look up at you, his eyes glued to the pages of a book. Like brother like brother, you guess.
âOh, well. Good thing Alfreds not here then.â You add a small laugh, trying to inject some humour to the situation. Damian does not respond in kind. âIs that a no? I think there's some chocolate cereal around here somewhere.â
âWhat do you do for work that allows you to be in my brother's home in the middle of the day?â
Jeez this kid is no-nonsense. âOr I could make pancakes, I make really good pancakes.â
âAnd tell me what exactly are your intentions with my baby brother?â Baby?
âI think there's some chocolate chips around here somewhere. Jason says you like chocolate. Chocolate pancakes?â
âDo you always avoid questions?â
âAre you always so intense?â
He slams the book closed and you nearly jump on the spot. He finally looks at you, really looks at you and as you stare back his features begin to soften slightly.
âIâll have a coffee.â
You're certain from the sly look on his face that he's probably not allowed coffee. He certainly doesn't need any. But screw it, he's not your kid and if it gets him to like a little, you'll take the risk.
So you pour two coffees and join him on the couch. His questions do not cease until Jason returns about an hour later. He couldn't care less about the coffee, but he does care about Damian breaking in to interrogate his partner and immediately kicks Damian out.
Dick
Dick finds out about your existence from one of Damianâs letters, and he's subtle but pushy about meeting you. Not that you're aware. He keeps âdropping byâ Jason's apartment âjust to see his lil brotherâ, no other reason but is told to get lost or downright ignored anytime you're there, until he decides to cut out the middle man and turn up at your home instead.
âLet me tell you, you are a hard person to get a hold of.â He informs as he invites himself through your front door.
âUm, hello Dick?â As you stare at his lush hair and sculpted abs you wonder what Alfred feeds these boys.
âYep! I can't stay so Iâve gotta make this quick.â he gestures for you to come closer, speaking in a playful, conspiratorial whisper. âJay doesn't know I'm here.â
That would be why he can't stay, Jason is due at your door any minute now.
âBut you two seem to be getting pretty serious and I think it's important that we all get to know each other. You following?â
You nod, and he gives you the perkiest, most genuine smile. That or he has that exact look practised to a T. From what Jay tells you, either is possible.
âSo, Barbara and I, that's my wifeâ You nod once more, you're aware of Barbara also. âhave booked a table at Casa Gotica for Thursday night. We need you to get Jason there without letting on that it's a double date.â
âI donât know.â you finally give your nodding head a break. âJay and I donât lie to each other.â
âRight. I can't begrudge that. Very glad to hear he's picked an honest one.â He takes a moment to straighten his thoughts, but his moment is cut short but the echo of Jasonâs combat boots approaching your door. Dickâs eyes rapidly scan the room for a secondary exit before he settles on an open window. âDon't think of it as lying, think of it as omitting the truth. Whatever you have to do just be there for 6.30. Oh, and it's great to meet you!â
âYou too.â
âThursday, 6.30!â
Before you can agree heâs gone, presumably scaling the side of your building as Jay steps inside.
Tim
Tim was actually the first to be aware of you and your relationship with his brother, however, the very real possibility of being gutted by Jason for snooping in his personal life was too high for him to make a move.
But you seeking him out is a different story; or rather, you being the first to say hi when you bump into each other in line at the grocery store is different. It would be rude not to respond to your attempts at initiating a conversation.
âHello, hi, are you Tim? You don't know me but Iâm Jasons partner. Its so great to meet you.â
âI know who you are.â He states rather ominously, eyes darting around behind you. âIs he here?â
âNo, but he's picking me up after.â His shoulders visibly ease.
âCool cool cool.â Heâs suddenly much more personable. âSo, I hear you're intoâŚâ
That chatting doesn't dry or lul at all as the queue dwindles and both buy your groceries. He waits with you until you get confirmation from Jay that he's on his way. He's easily the chillest sibling you've met thus far.
When Jason arrives he gets out of the car to open the boot and passenger door for you as always, but not before he thrusts his phone in your face. âWhere is he?â
Displayed on the screen is a selfie of Tim with you in the background, you absolutely do not remember it being taken.
#anon#thanks for the request#/ask#dc#Jason Todd#jason todd/reader#jason todd x reader#red hood/reader#red hood x reader#red hood#batfam x reader#batfam#damian wayne#robin#nightwing#dick grayson#tim drake#red robin#3K
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âNo more coffee, dove.â Remus takes the cup away from you and takes the mocha pot off the stove.
âBut Remmy,â you whine and your boyfriend just levels you a look.
He pouts at you, all mocking and teasing which makes you want to stomp your foot. âNo âBut Remmy,â youâve had three. Youâre cut off, my love.â
You canât even be mad at him when he calls you nice things and gives you a kiss for your troubles.
Still you try. Then keys jingle in the door and your ability to get your way seems sparked up again, even if by a soft flame.
âHi my darlings, Iâm home.â
You give Remus a look that lets him know what youâre about to do and he resigns himself with watching you bewitch James like thatâs your actual job.
âHi Jamie! How was the gym?â Remus leans on the kitchen counter and watches you fawn over James to set you plan in motion.
âGood lovie. How was work? Were you trouble for our Remmy?â
You shake your head and Remus scoffs. James looks at him over your head and Remus only gives him a wink.
âI was super good! Was it arm day today?â Your hands slide up to his shoulders and then down to his wrists.
James chuckles, dimples popping out at he flexes. Your hands squeeze at his arms as he flexes and when James leans down for a kiss you really put the moves on him.
Your hands bury themselves in his still wet curls, tugging a little as you let James kiss into your mouth.
When you pull away, âCan you make me a fancy coffee, please baby?â
Remus rolls his eyes, âI just told you no, dove. Youâve had three.â
James looks down at you, a little smile on his face. âThat true, angel?â
You scowl, âI really feel like I need a caffeine kick to get through the rest of my work. It wonât take long to wear off, either James. Swears.â
James doesnât believe that part. The sunâs setting now and you really shouldnât be having another cup of coffee.
He and Remus have spent many a night up with you while you all wait for the remnants of the caffeine leave you - not that they mind for themselves, they just donât like you unable to sleep when itâs three in the morning and youâve got to wake up at six.
You pout at him, holding onto his forearms as you stare at him with your best puppy dog eyes.
âOkay, let me go take a shower and Iâll fix you up one.â
You turn to Remus and stick your tongue out at him when James swats at your bum quickly making you hiss. âOi!â
Remus only shakes his head as James passes you by to kiss Remus. âJamie she really shouldnât-â James gives Remus another kiss, placating him completely.
For all his cheekiness, James had a subtle way of putting Remus at complete ease with just a kiss. âBe back in ten my loves.â
âYouâre a brat.â Remus says playfully as James bounds the stairs and you give him a smug shrug as you sit at the table and start typing away at your work.
James comes back down and heads to the kitchen and starts making your drink. You hear all the wizzing and wowing of his fancy coffee routine and when he brings you a mug you look pleased as punch.
You take a sip and frown, looking up at James with betrayal all over your face.
âDecaf, Jamie?â Itâs Remusâ turn to be smug, you dislike it on him entirely.
âYes lovie. Itâs too late for full caffeine and youâll have been bouncing off the walls if Iâd made one for you and wouldnât have slept tonight.â
You just stare at him, James walks over to the table and kisses you. He canât stand your pouty face. âIâll make you a real fancy one in the morning before I head to practice, yeah?â
He pecks your lips when you donât answer, and again when you hardly kiss back. James keeps at it until you giggle which is only three more kisses. He savors the kisses and your giggle.
âYeah, Jamie.â
Remus comes to the table to meet you two, âWhat about my kisses?â
You pretend to think about it before kissing Remus lips, pecks following a sloppy trail all over his cheeks making him blush.
âLove you, Remmy.â
He smiles, turning your face so he can kiss your lips again. âI love you too, dove.â
James pouts, both you and Remus kiss his cheek before he can even ask.
âWe love you Jamie. Loads and loads.â
He smiles, a megawatt spotlight really, and kisses you both back.
âWhat are you thinking of for tea? A chippy?â James asks, hand in Remusâ hair and on your cheek as you look down to your laptop and save your work.
Thereâs no point in trying to do any of it now that youâre all home. âYeah, can I have cod this time? Didnât fancy the haddock last time.â
Remus nods, âAnything you want, lovely girl.â James is already on the phone placing everyoneâs orders, not forgetting everyoneâs add-ons.
#remuslupin#jamespotter#remus lupin#james potter#james potter x reader#poly!marauders#poly!marauders fanfiction#poly!marauders blurb#poly!marauders x y/n#poly!marauders fluff#poly!marauders fic#poly!marauders imagine#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders x you#james potter fanfiction#james potter one shot#james potter oneshot#james potter imagine#remus lupin one shot#remus lupin oneshot#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin imagine#poly!moonchaser#poly!moonchaser x reader#poly!moonchaser fanfiction
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Sweet as Nuka Cola
Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Reader
You're an upcoming actress who has a constant flirtation with Cooper Howard. But even if things seem to be off to a good start, a nuclear bomb, a cryogenic pod, and two hundred years of carnage ruins all of it. Is there something to be salvaged from your relationship with Mr. Howard?
Genre: Mutual pining, flirting, slow-burn, angst, friends to kind-of enemies to lovers (no cheating but maybe it's a little murky?)
Word Count: 11k
âAction!â
âHello. Yes, itâs me.â You wave at the camera, adorned in a classic-red sweetheart neckline dress. âYou might know me from âGirls Want It Allâ or ��Next Door Babe.ââ
Here, you play up your recent bombshell status. As Ed, the director of this advert, keeps reminding you, you need to sell yourself to make customers listen.
You sway in your dress, squeezing your arms and throwing your waist back to plump and push out your chest. The implication of the sex appeal in your movies keeps people watching.
But youâre still a rather new actress, so America might not know you so well. Youâre glad Nuka Cola has hired youâ if you want to be a star, you need more exposure.
âDo you enjoy feeling refreshed?â You cock your head to the camera, pursing your red lips. âWell, golly, what a silly question. Who doesn't?â
âThat's where Nuka Cola comes in.â You lift a bottle out of the cooler next to you, all gentle in demeanour, showing off the logo of the bottle to the camera, in your perfectly manicured hands. âWith triple the amount of caffeine found in competitor's bottled cola, it's sure to keep you feeling up for a long, long time.â
âAnd it's good for you.â Ed whispers, a last minute adlib you did not agree to, but you're a professional, so you add it on with a little wink.
âAnd it sure as heck is good for you.â You smile, the infamous smile that's won you notoriety to Hollywood execs for being the newest bombshell on the block, and you throw your shoulders back as you really lean into your image.Â
âCut! That's a wrap, everyone!â Ed, wanting to finish early, quickly starts ushering everyone out so not a cent more gets spent.Â
You immediately relax out of your practised, professional smile. âAny ADR needed?â
âDon't think so, but we'll let you know.â The director is already moving onto whatever his next project is. Advertisements make more money than anything else these days.
You head over to catering, where you're cravingâ not a Nuka Cola, considering how much sugar is in that thing it's hardly refreshing at allâ but an iced tea.Â
You stretch out your ankles in your kitten heels as you prepare it. If you told your Ma back in Mojave that the worst thing about fame would be the uncomfortable outfits, she'd smack you. So you keep it to yourselfâ you're grateful, you're humble, you'll never be an entitled asshole like those fucking execs.
âWatch out, I'm behind ya.â A man gently presses your shoulder as he walks next to you.
You know that voice. Famous movie cowboy, devilishly handsome, easy to admire. A career worth emulating.
âMr. Howard?â You turn to look at him, and it is him. Wearing a tuxedo suit, smiling his classic, rugged grin at you.
âThe one and the only.â He laughs in a self-deprecating way, as a man tired with his fame and used to mocking it. âHey, wait, don't I know you?â
You immediately feel your face heat up. âProbably notâ lots of people have mistaken me for Lucky Yates so farâŚâ
âNo, I do know you.â He points a finger at you, while pouring himself a mug of black coffee. âI told you mister, I'm not here for a long time. Just a good one, and if you can't provide it for me, I'll be inclined to look elsewhere.â
Cooper Howard does a perfect impression of your girly, haughty tone from âGirls Want It Allâ, and it surprises you that he even knows your dialogue that well. You're not used to this much attention, especially not from one of Hollywood's most notable movie stars.
He says your name.
âYeah, that's me.â You say sheepishlyâ even though you know you have to fake that confidence, it's hard when you've been caught off guard. You're starstruckâ you don't know how to operate, now realizing that even celebrities are noticing you. âJust shooting an ad for Nuka-Cola.â
âAh, thatâs smart of you.â He leans inâ about to give you a bit of Hollywood advice, no doubtâ and you feel yourself turning warm at the attention heâs giving you. âI wouldnât expect any less from one of Hollywoodâs upcoming starsâ residuals arenât enough to make the world go round.â
You know heâs admiring your street smarts, but you have to ask. âUpcoming, really?â
âMiss, Iâm not sure many other actresses couldâve delivered that little monologue I just did without, er, pardon my language,â Cooper takes a sip of his coffee, his eyes peering down at you over the perimeter of the cup. âFucking it up. Pantomiming too much wily, feminine shit that execs love, without that little edge of real, subtle emotion. Iâm not the only one who thinks so.â
You giggle a little. âCâmon, really? I hardly got to act the way I wanted to.â
âThatâs how it starts. Little moments, little subtleties where youâre letting your real character shine throughâ itâs noticeable to the industry. More opportunities come that way. But itâs smart to use, uhâŚâ Cooper swallows, a tiny, imperceptible thing that reminds you of your bombshell image, that he must be thinking about it. âSmart to use such attractive imagery, if you get my drift. The public will eat you up.â
The way he drawls that latter part makes you feel excited, but you keep it downâ itâs well known Cooper Howard is a married man, and you are not about to be ruined by an affair. Even if he does sound sort of flirty, this sort of complimenting is so common in Hollywood.
âWhat are you doing in the advertisement shooting lot?â You ask, changing the subject, and Cooper shrugs, a nonchalant ripple of a movement that tells you his general cool demeanour isnât just acting.
âPromised my wife Iâd shoot an advert for her. Vault-Tec, you know?â He admits, telling you he hasnât forgotten about his wife, either. âGotta head to the experimental Vault theyâve set up next door.â
âYes, of course.â You, like anyone else, have seen the ads of Cooper in the Vault-Tec suitâ itâs a rather controversial thing to be partaking in, but you think he knows what heâs doing.
âWell, Nuka-Cola.â He hands you an iced teaâ one you didnât even notice him making for you as you were talking to him. âIâll see you around.â
/
The Ghoul walks around the wasteland, two hundred something years into the future.
Heâs searching for a bountyâ Leopold St. Westâ worth at least 1000 caps, and itâs terribly difficult to find him when every single person claims heâs in all these different locations, not a single one correlated to each other.
So heâs walking around a destroyed neighbourhood, where Leopold was last seen a day ago, if his fellow ghouls are to be trusted. If he had to guess, these are the remnants of China Townâ the faux Asian-esque details, the cheesy red colouring, the false authenticity Hollywood loves to portray as âgood as the real thingâ. God, Coop does not miss some parts of the fame.
He suddenly stumbles over a piece of the broken sidewalk. Coopâs usually pretty agile, nonchalant on his feetâ he knows this feeling. Heâs going through withdrawal.
âShit, I need a minute.â He mutters to himself, feeling a bit woozy.
He's only got a couple more vials of drugs, so he can't be using them all willy-nilly. No, he needs to recoup things and go through this carefully.
Shelter is necessaryâ the longer Coop is out in the sun, the harsher the effects of withdrawal feel. And, if heâs lucky, one of these buildings might have something for him to lootâ more drugs if heâs extra, extra lucky.
Coop enters a nondescript buildingâ where a radroach is waiting, and he immediately fires at it without even looking, killing it in one shotâ and he sees the sign over the entry way, marking the lobby.
This is some Hollywood executive-owned club. Itâs hard to tellâ two hundredyears of wear-and-tear will do that for youâ but Cooper Howard distinctly remembers this place, maybe in some conversation back then, maybe when he was networking.Â
Every single thing has a distinct, thick layer of grime over it. Coop thinks of sweaty strippers dancing, actors cheating on their wivesâ theyâre all probably dead now.
He reaches into his satchel and takes a hit of one of his vialsâ and hopes he can replace what he uses with something here.
Thereâs not a single bottle behind the bar, and he jostles through, not seeing a chem or a drug left behind by anyone on the floor or behind the counter, and heâs mildly disgruntled over how every place has nearly everything picked clean by raiders, wastelandersâ just other people. Coop will always loathe these other assholes.
He climbs the broken stairs with a lanky, languid stretch, making it over a fairly large hole where a corpse waits on the floor below. A raider who didnât watch where he was stepping. That tells him there should be loot up on this upper floorâ at least a bit of it.
He walks to the one closed door in a less-than-discreet hallway, gold sconces and railings marking the way.
âAh⌠private office.â Coop jiggles an ostentatious handle to a mahogany door, that is surely leading to an even more pretentiously ostentatious office, and he finds that itâs locked.
A good sign. Most likely no oneâs ever been in there, because itâs probably a difficult lock to pick.Â
It surprises him that no oneâs ever just forced their way through.
Coop doesnât waste time on this thoughâ he just takes a teeny gun out of his bag, fires it, and admires the hole in the door where the handle used to be. The door creaks open on itâs own, and he saunters into a well furnished, dusty office room.
âNope, nope, nopeâŚâ He pushes box after box in the shelves next to the wall, and they fall with loud clatterâ loaded with panicky, nuclear-war-on-the-horizon type shit, like canned meats and beans and preserved jams and pickles. âFuck no.â
He pushes off a toy figurine of Vault Boy down with extra gusto.
Coop looks behind the desk, where thereâs a dusty placard reading Adrian Amos II. He grinsâ one of the worst producer bastards of all time is not someone heâd feel bad about stealing from, even if there was still some conscience left in him. No, sir, Adrian Amos the second did not deserve any sympathy, especially after the way he was known for bitching about salaries, abusing PAs, and having a predilection for going after less-than-consenting women.
Coop grits his teeth, remembering that asshole and how terrible and gaudy this club was back then. Not that it was better nowâ but heâs grateful for one manâs deserved death, at least.
He jostles open where the second drawer is filled with the glass clinking sound of many, many vials.
âFucking jackpot, Jesus.â Coop stares down at how many there areâ at least 40 or 50â a hell of a lot to just be left behind.
Well, based on the other supplies, Adrian Amos got fucked over and either didnât make it to his vault in time, or forgot to run to his private club before heading in.
Coop doesnât give a fuck, though. He starts piling the vials into his cases, and then back into his bag.
Thereâs a sudden whirring sound near him. âHuh?â
To his left, an imperceptible secret door has pushed itself outwards, decorated in the same dark brown wallpaper as the rest of the room.
Coop looks down and underâ heâs accidentally pressed a secret button on the underside of the drawer. âFuck.â
He doesnât know what would be inside the secret roomâ assassins, raiders waiting on someone to dupe? Maybe even synths, just meant to protect Amos when he needed it.
Inside the room, itâs dark, and he canât make out anything. Coop can only draw his gun rapidly when thereâs a blue light suddenly emitting out from the inside.
Heâs careful as he approachesâ last thing Coop wants is an ambushâ and as his vision improves, he sees itâs a cryonic pod, all frosted over so he canât make out whoâs inside.
Coop sighs, ready to leave it behindâ heâs not interested in waking up Amosâ and instead, the thing whirs, heating up itâs insides with extremely hot steam, and then opens up with a mechanical flourish.
Coop instinctively steps back, coughing âHoly shit!â as the air whooshes past him.
A body falls out, just looking slightly frostedâ mostly thawed by whatever the cryo tank just did.Â
/
You're on set again, sitting in a free lawn chair while others get ready for their takeâ it's not for a Nuka-Cola ad, it's just a guest appearance on everyone's favourite sitcom, The Grady Group, where you play an overly promiscuous babysitter who has no sense for watching over kids.
It's comedic, it's an easy way to get laughsâ plus it actually boosts the showsâ ratings since you've been in movies and all. Youâre done filming already, youâre just sitting here watching the rest of the shoot, dragging out your return to your car, and then back home.Â
Something about the fictional family you wait on, Gill and Gina Grady, and their kids Gideon, Gessica, and Gwen, it makes you miss having a family of your own. In fact, you have half a mind to call your mother, despite all the bitching sheâll give you about the things you havenât done yet.
It also doesn't help that Gill and Gina are a couple in real lifeâ named Arthur and Bea Smith, they really, really are in love, and in between takes they're often canoodling with each other.
You're happy for them, if not a littleâ jealous, despite the fact that you're not interested in dating anyone right now. At least, you thought you weren't, but you find that lately, when you return back to your apartment all lonesome after a shoot, you feel like something is missing.
âHey. Nuka-Cola.â Cooper Howard strolls over to where you're sitting, and you smile up at him, covering your eyes from the sunlight streaming through the windows.
âMr. Howard. Shooting today?â You ask, and he shakes his head.
âNot at all. Just lounging around, waiting for my kid.â He sits in the lawn chair next to you, leaning back, crossing one leg over the other. âJaney is on a field trip at a museum next doorâ I thought Iâd kill some time before picking her up.â
âAh, cute.â You grin. Janey Howard is an absolutely precious kidâ she shares her dadâs smile, but has a curious nature that you admire. âIs she well?â
âAs well as kids can be at that age, running around all the time.â Cooper shrugs. âYou know how it is.â
âKind of. I actually did used to babysit kids, so I knowâ they can never sit still or mind their business.â You laugh as Cooper grins.Â
âSo you went method for your guest appearance, huh?â He asks, and youâre mildly baffled.
âHow do you know about that?â You squint at him, just being jokingly suspicious.
âOh, I saw a few clips of your footage. While I was walking over here.â He points over at Stu, the director, standing on the living room set, watching clips on his viewfinder. âSeemed pretty natural to me.â
It almost bothers you that he seems so interested in you and your work, that he always voices supportâ but heâs well-known for being happily married, for being content in general, unlike you. Â
Still, better a friend than nothing at all, thatâs what you always tell yourself.
âThanks. But itâs not hard being around kids, is it?â You reminisce being a kid in Mojave, playing with your friends on your streetâ and then as a young adult, babysitting new kids that still wanted to play with you. âI still sometimes feel like Iâm just a kid pretending to be an adult.â
âThat never goes away, darlinâ.â Cooper laughs, and you blink. âBeing an actor, especially, youâre never losing that childhood sense of wonder, you get my drift?â
âYeah, of course.â You nod. âI just donât feel complete, I guess. Iâm still waiting for the moment Iâll know Iâm an adultâ like maybe if I get married or something like that.â
âBeing married didnât change that for me either. Neither did being a dad.â He winces, and scratches at his stubble. âJust donât tell anyone I said that, but I think itâs all apart of being a human person.â
Your face turns a little more glum at that, and he wonders what he said that bummed you out. Itâs not his intentionâ he wants to cheer you up.
âWhatâs with the sad, forlorn, âIâm-a-pretty-girl-come-comfort-meâ look?â Cooper utters as he leans in, and you laugh a little but silence yourself, recognizing his compliment.
Itâs dangerous to flirt with this guy, this taken man who has nothing to gain but a bit of affection he may be missing, but you see that he knows his compliment had effect anywaysâ and he definitely likes that.
You just choose to assume itâs entirely friendly.
âI just⌠I like the thought of having a family.â You suck in air,at how foolish and girly this sounds, hardly the cutthroat businesswoman you need to be out here. âThis is stupid, Iâm sorry.â
âNo, no, it isnât.â Cooper taps his arm rest, thinking. âYouâre hurting, I can tell. You got that same pissed off look most ladies get when they âdonât wanna talkâ but theyâre holding tons of shit inside.â
Damn this guy, you think, but you decide to be honest.
âI just didnât think itâd be so lonely out here. In Hollywood.â You press your palms together. âLike, everywhere I go, Iâm surrounded by classic Americana, the nuclear familyâ and I canât believe Iâm saying this, but Iâm jealous.â
âAs a bachelorette, donât you got plenty of options?â Cooper grins. âI mean, are men not lining up to court Nuka-Cola girl?â
âAhâŚâ You hum, thinking of dates youâve had here, settling back in your seat. âI donât knowâ itâs cheesy but I want more sincerity.â
âIn that case, donât be jealous, marriage ainât all that.â Cooper tuts, knowing that you of all people should hear about how it doesnât complete you. âItâs not perfect, itâs not a magical fairy-tale where everything gets solved, itâs a hell of a lot more work than people let on.â
âOh.â You knew that, deep downâ but hearing it from him really solidifies that for you. Itâs a silly dream.
It sounds like heâs speaking from experience, so you quiet down. But youâre not trying to get your hopes up about that or anything.
âAnd youâre not an idiot, Nuka-Cola. Donât get into something youâre not a hundred fucking percent sure about.â Cooper clicks his tongue. âIf you really feel the urge to suddenly go and play wife with someone, just for me, make sure heâs absolutely worth it.â
âFor you?â You raise your eyebrows at that.
âI figure you wonât do it for yourself. Love is blind and all that.â He points at himself. âBut if I, as your buddy Cooper, hold you to that? Iâll bet that youâll vet every single guy.â
âOh, really.â You smirk at him, your nose scrunching a little. âIs that for my benefit, or yours?â
âUhâŚâ Cooper is truly caught off guard here. He knows he didnât intend anything by what he said, but it does feel like⌠he wonât enjoy the fact that if the next few times he talks to you, continuing become close to you, heâll have to get the approval of some man.
Some man who wouldnât even know you as long he has known you. He always likes his chats with you, and thereâs an urge inside him not to let you go.
He thinks again that youâre a little too spontaneous. Not easy to dupe, noâ he canât just flirt with you for fun because youâll always pick up on it, even if he did it by mistake.
âNo comment.â He finally answers with a raspy, low tone, one that you barely hear but are satisfied by.
/
A few months later, you check your face in your little compact mirror before stuffing it in your purse and heading inside Sebastian Leslieâs home. Exciting, yes, because this is the first time youâve been invited not just to network, not just because a big name has seen you in the movies and wants to flaunt that they know you tangentially.
No, this is the first time you know someone, youâre actually in with a crowdâ youâre friends with the host. You donât feel nearly as awkward walking into Sebastianâs comfortable home and seeing familiar faces that youâre close with, decor that you already recognize.
âThere she is.â Sebastian greets you with a tight hugâ for a massive flirt heâs actually rather protective of you sometimes. âLove the dress, by the wayâ is that a vintage Chanel? Black is very flattering on you, my dear.â
You get the sense he didnât want you to be involved in this industry sometimes, but other timesâ he likes that you put work in.
âI saw your newest advertisement on TV yesterday.â He comments, and you giggle.
âWas it good?âÂ
âYeah, amazing as usualâ but you gotta do more than that.â Sebastian holds your hand as he pulls you into the crowd of other low-level actors, people who could risk showing up, really, and you fix your dress, a black one with a low square neckline. âLook into Vault-Tecâ Iâve been telling Cooper here about how our futures are totally going to be surrounded by their products, even though that fucker does not want to listen.â
Cooperâs lounging in a low sofa in the pit of this living room, holding a crystal glass full of amber liquid, black button up shirt half openâ he looks dishevelled, hair slightly askew, jaw off-kilter as he presses his tongue into his cheek, thinking. Lost by something, but still put together as celebrities are. Geez, you really need to temper your attraction to him.
It doesnât help how he looks at you, eitherâ thereâs something deep and reverent about his gaze, like he wants to believe whatever he sees when heâs looking at youâ but you have no idea if itâs real, or if itâs just an act like with most of these celebrities.
You used to see him a lot more frequently too, over the last few months. Either at set, or at more fancy partiesâ most of which heâs been perfectly pleasant and kind to you.
âOf course youâd label me as some fucking chairman for them, Seabass.â Cooper slams back half a pint of whisky, and pours himself some more. âHey, Nuka-Cola.â
âHey, Mr. Howard.â You smile gently. Youâve heard about his divorceâ everyone has, but youâre not 100% sure why itâs happened, why now when things seemed to be going so well for him.
Well is relative, though. You know loads of actors have decried him privatelyâ no one wants to hang out with the man promoting the end of the world, apparently. It must be a tough thing to only be hired for your wifeâs advertisementsâ and even then, you donât exactly agree with what theyâre marketing, either.
You donât feel so strongly against Cooper, though. Maybe because you do like himâ but also because you know what itâs like to have your image connected to something you donât really promote. Nuka-Cola isnât healthy, itâs got enough sugar to induce instant death when drank regularly. But you do it for the connections, the moneyâ and youâre sure Cooper did too.
âCooper is fine.â He grumbles, and you remember his last name is maybe a sore subject right now.
âSorry.â You do your best to be delicate as you sit next to him, and Sebastian sits on the other side of you. âHowâre you, Cooper?â
âNot bad. If you count being divorced as being alright.â He sighs, and you feel terrible that you even asked. âItâs like I never knew her, manâ I thought Barb was different. Or they changed her, I donât fucking know.â
âShe had her eyes set on the prize. As did you, Coop.â Sebastian states, and Cooper turns, affronted.
âWeâre all interested in money and glory, Seabass. Fuck you if you think otherwise.â Cooper tenses, and you feel a bit awkward listening in on this conversation.
âWhat did I say that negates that? Iâm as money hungry as they come.â Sebastian shrugs. âI only meant thatâ despite it all, making money was what you had in common, evidently not the world-going-nuclear shit. Maybe youâve got a heart of gold, a change of mind, I donât know, Cooper. But throwing away an easy life just to pay alimony must be fucking awful, so I just donât think youâre in it for the money anymore.â
âYouâre fucking telling me.â Cooper sniggers. âI donât think Barb cares. Iâm here with no career, and sheâs out there getting promoted in Vault-Tec. As for the heart of gold⌠any former marine wouldâve been against that shit.â
You want to ask what shit, but you donât want to overstep your boundaries. You get the general fear of nuclear warâ but Cooper sounds more personally affected by it.
Cooper glances over at you. âWhat do you think? Better to be richer than you can spend in a lifetime, or to be out with a good conscience?âÂ
âI donât know if Iâm that interested in money.â You say honestly, and Cooper raises his eyebrows.  Â
âReally? Nuka-Colaâs a saint, huh.â He chucklesâ heâs clearly a bit buzzed.
âNo, Iâm not. Of course I want to have a career.â You think about this carefully, so it doesnât sound insincere. âMaking money is niceâ but I donât think I have the right to say it should come at the cost of human lives. You know Nuka-Cola is terrible for you, right? â
Cooper stares at you for a moment too long, and then looks away. âYeah⌠addicting.â
Heâs definitely not talking about Cola, but you continue on. âYeah, so just in that wayâ I disagree with how much power marketing has. Weâve convinced America that they need thisâ just so some chairman can make an extra dollar.â
Cooper looks at you, renewed by whatever you just said. âHell, woman after my own heart. Thatâs damn true.â
âYes, yes, you two oblivious flirtsâ thereâs no art in filmmaking anymore, just commercialism. Not like it hasnât been the case for a century.â Sebastian chimes in, and you bite your lip, pretending not to notice how Cooperâs face is smirking bashfully. âBut, babe. Youâre going to want to make your money before the world fucking ends.â
âWhatâs that?â You startle, and Cooper laughs sardonically at your surprise, while Sebastian gets up.
âLet me get myself a drinkâ I hardly want to tell this story sober.â He leaves, and Cooper has half a heart to glare at himâ he knows Sebastian is leaving the two of you alone so he can do the dirty work.
Not like his reputation can ever get better, especially by telling this story again with itâs lurid details, but at least it doesn't hurt that he's with you.Â
âWhat does he mean by that, Mr. Howard?â You wince at your use of that. âSorryâ I meant Cooper.â
âAh, call me what youâd like.â Cooper takes another sip of his drink, leaning back in the couch to the point where he is practically lying down and against you. âIt sounds good coming out of your mouth no matter what you pick, Nuka-Cola.â
Now thatâs a suggestive, loaded line, and you feel a little more comfortable flirting with him even if itâs a bit of a rebound for him. The end of the world is approaching, right?
âThe end of the world?â You prod at him, and he sighs, leaning against your shoulder.Â
âItâs fucking ridiculous, what it is⌠probably never going to happen anytime soon.â Cooperâs tone of voice is hazy as he examines his last sip of whisky in the glass. âNo, no. Just something those fucking commies put in my head. I guess theyâre not really commies, are they?â
âUnless you elaborate, I canât say.â You utter back at him, and he pushes down a smile.
âAlright. Vault-Tecâs been selling this nuclear protective stuff, right?â He says, and you nod, your cheek brushing against the top of his hair. âAll I can say is that a few⌠radicals, if you will, think that Vault-Tec might actually be more involved with it than they say. Like, they might beâŚâ
âNot just protective, huh? More offensive? Everyoneâs got that feeling, Mr. Howard. And that doesn't sound like a particularly commie-train-of-thought to me.â You hear the sorrow in his tone, even if heâs trying to make it sound like a rumour. âDid you hear this from your ex-wife?â
Cooper winces here. He still feels slightly guilty about spying on her. A part of him thinks they mightâve not divorced if he hadnât found outâ but he knows he was bound to find out eventually, and he wouldâve just delayed the inevitable.
âMaybe, Cola. Maybe youâre just sharp.â He whispers, and you smile and he feels itâ your skin is intoxicatingly close right now.
âSo, odds are?â You ask, just curious, and he exhales.
âBad. I have to agree with them.â He admits, and it feels exhilarating to admit thisâ that Vault-Tec is gonna nuke the world at some point, that the radicals are more like minded to him than heâs wanted to believe in the past. âEven if it didnât cost my movies, I regret partaking in what they were selling.â
Thatâs a big thing for him to sayâ you know Cooper loves acting, he absolutely adores playing a hardened sheriff, the last vestige of goodness in the wild, wild west. All the times youâve visited him on his setâ probably during his last contractual movie, now that you think about itâ and he was always so excited to show off the architecture and intricacies of the fictional western town theyâd set up, share script details and little character quirks so you could have an insiderâs viewpoint. He even donned his cowboy hat on you, saying you wore it like a natural.
He loved being the hero, really.
He lights a cigarette, and takes a puff.
âMost big-name connections refuse to talk to me because of this stuffâ Iâve basically been dropped out of phonebooks all together. They think Iâm still in on it, they think Iâve only stopped because of backlashââ He stops as you begin to scratch his scalp, still leaning against your shoulder, but getting progressively into your neck area.
Jesus, that feels good. He thinks. He hasnât been intimate in a whileâ Barb became increasingly more cold to him over the last few months, as their marriage kept falling apart.
âBacklash, really?â You whisper.Â
âYeah.â He stutters for just a moment, because your eyes are peering into his, and for a moment he thinks you could really make it as just a bombshell if you wanted toâ then he takes another puff. âWhen really, I was just backing out of what I thought was really a massive crime against humanity.â
âAre you only telling me this to validate your poor conscience? Remedy that reputation a little?â You ask, and he presses his lips together.Â
âWell, I'll be honest, yeah. Of fucking course I'd tell the one woman who seems to be like me on this.â He sounds so certain of you, sounds so sure that you're on his side.
And you absolutely are.
âThe worldâs about to end, Mr. Howard. You're not a bad man for not wanting to support it. I'm inclined to agree.â You inhale deeply, and Cooper stares at youâ something stirs inside him as he does.Â
âKiss me, then. Humour meâ since none of this will matter soon.â Cooper murmurs, lying on top of your chest now, the smoke from his cigarette enveloping your face.
Heâs so close you barely have to move to oblige to what heâs saidâ you're second guessing yourself for just a moment, because it feels like a dream that he'd ask you to do this, so out of the blue, such a picture perfect fantasy that you almost don't care about the impending doom, and you press your lips gently to his in an upside-down kiss, his hair brushing against your open cleavage, but Cooper is insistent and leans upward, kissing you with such intensity that your head is spinning afterwards.
God, now that's a movie star kiss. You think.
He kisses you again as Sebastian returns, drink in hand.
âOi! You two. Jesus Christ, can't keep your hands off each other, can you?â Sebastian pretends to vomit. âCâmon, if I want to talk to you at my party, I should have that right.â
You attempt to pull awayâ but Cooper, being a little mischevious, perhaps wanting to show off in a way he hasnât been able to, sits up right and kisses you again, this time normally, just very slowly and passionately though, slithering an arm around your waist in a way that has Sebastian rolling his eyes.Â
âOkay, present.â He says, not pulling his arm off your waist.Â
âThanks.â Sebastian shakes his head. âI was thinking we should take the mood off with some party gamesâŚâ
/
It's about 2 AM when you've finally left the party. Cooper didn't want to let you goâ he's crashing at an apartment for the time being, but you really don't want to waste yourself on being his rebound, if he really likes you.
You tell him as much, and he likes thatâ you really are rather sharp about things.Â
âWell. Gimme a call when you realize I'm not kidding around with you.â He says unabashedly, holding your hand, kissing it as you leave.
Youâre absolutely sure he's drunk, and he's being a little too clingyâ but you want to believe him anyways.Â
You walk back to your car, alone. Thinking about if Cooper is worth the damage it could have on your potential career. But then againâ the end of the world is coming, right?
So maybe it wonât matter. And you find that you like this, the secret potential of this option, just hanging out with Cooper in a place that used to be America, no more expectations on you both. Thereâs also the chance you just both die, though.
You shudder.
You don't notice that there's a man in the backseat of your car when you get in, brandishing a chloroform stained cloth.
/
The Ghoul prods at the body that's just fallen out of the cryo pod.
Oh fuck.Â
It's starting to stir, whoever it is, and Coop knows he's ready, if this is really some synthetic android-clone thing, to make their life hell. Get some of his anger out on something that doesnât matter.
Waitâ he recognizes that cherry red fabric. That coiffed hair, frosty after being inside the pod. Oh, Jesus⌠even the makeup is the same as when he last saw you.Â
âAh⌠shit.â He chuckles to himself in exasperation, because this is beyond belief. âNuka-Cola, is that you?â
You tilt yourself to the side, eyes bleary, unable to see clearly. Everythingâs dark. But you know that voice, you just heard it a couple of days ago.
âMr. Howard?â You croak out, and he hisses inwardsâ nobody has called him that in centuries. Nobody knows who he is⌠except for you, of course.Â
âThe one and the same, baby.â He licks the side of his gums, deciding to stick with his identity for now. âWell, maybe a little different. You wouldn't happen to know what a Ghoul is, huh?â
âWhat?â You don't know how long your vision is going to stay black for, but you don't like the sound of that. âWhat the fuck does that mean?â
âEyes haven't been opened for⌠two hundred years. I'll give you some time, Cola.â He sighs; cracks his neck, while you sink back into the floor. âJust imagine the ugliest horror-picture monster you can imagine. Zombie, no nose. That paint a picture for you?â
â...â
âWhat was that?â Coop can't hear you when your voice is muffled into the tiles of this secret room. He grasps your hair gently, from the root, pulling your head upwards so you'll speakâ clearly you don't have the strength to lift up your body.Â
âI said, how is that any different from before?âÂ
âOh, she's still a jokester.â Coop scoffsâ despite himself he snortsâ and he lets go of your hair so you land back on the floor with a thump.
ââOw!â You flinch, and then turn over so youâre on your back. âStill an asshole, huh?â
âMe?â He grins maliciously. Ooh, maybe he can use some misplaced anger on you. âYou're the one who didn't call back for several weeks.â
âHow could I? You can see I've been trapped in a cryo thing for⌠however long. Did you say two hundred years?â You flatly ask, and Coop still thinks you're lying.
âYes, and bullshit. You probably had a couple weeks since I last saw you to call me.â He states, and he doesnât actually hold a grudge, at least not that much of it in comparison to all the other horrid shit thatâs happened to himâ he just thinks it's funny to push your buttons after all of that, like looking into a mirror of the pastâ and you groan.
âNo, I didn't. I got in my car after Sebastian's party, and some goon sprayed something in my face, I passed out, and he drove me here.â You start, and you begin frowning in such a way that Coop almost feels bad.Â
âWhy you, sweetheart?â He shakes his head. âYou weren't exactly high up in popularity yet.â
âExactly. No one would miss me.â You spit out bitterly, remember the end to that night, where you were so unaware of your surroundings, and terrified of being assaulted as you were pushed around into this room, blindfolded.
âAdrian fucking Amos, the fucking Second, thought it would be great if I just became his permanent doll during the apocalypse.â You swallow, and Coop sits down next to you, to listen more clearly. You shift towards his body heatâ and to his surprise, he still likes that. âSee, his daddy has shares in Vault-Tec, so he decided before nuclear fallout happened, he wanted a guaranteed sex slave from his favourite advertisements.â
âNuka-Cola.â Coop utters with the slowest drawl, concluding your statementâ and you like that.
âYeah, Nuka fucking Cola.â You grimace. âThen he undressed me, put me in this little number, and threw me in the pod. I barely remember this shit because I was so out of it.â
âShame. I always wondered why you never called me back.â Coop circles back to his little grudgeâ but he also feels bad, feels some level of guilt that neither he nor Sebastian had the sense to look out for you back then, and you were practically assaulted (maybe actually so if you didn't remember).Â
âYeah, because I wanted to miss out on that piece of ass. Sure.â You joke feebly, and Coop laughs despite himself.Â
âHoney, you're gonna run away screaming when you finally see me. Don't worry about it.â He shakes his head. âThe real world's a lot more fucking difficult than would'ves and could'ves.â
âOkay, explain. If you're willing to owe me that much.â You start, and Coop gets reminded of that fateful night a couple hundred years ago, where he was the one to clue you into the impending nuclear war.
Not even three months later, it was all over, and you were nowhere in sightâ if his mind ever did drift to you, the what-ifs and who-knows that still persistedâ he would always assume you were dead.
Now he thinks you're just unfinished business.Â
âFine.â He taps your shoulder, and you lean a little closer towards himâ you touch his hand, and instead of flinching as many people have in the pastâ you trace the tough, callused skin there.
He thinks thereâs something wrong with you. Why do you seem drawn to him anyways? Youâre completely fucking up his tough guy, lone-wolf persona by being here, and he wants you gone. He pulls away his hand, ignoring how your face falls for a moment.
Coop inhales, and then starts. âIn October 2077, they nuked America, bombed it all to hell. By they, I think we both know what Iâm implying.â
âIt wasnât the Chinese.â You interrupt, and he shushes you.
âYeah, Cola.â He starts playing with his fingers, feeling like you donât deserve to be here right now. That you shouldâve just stayed dead. âVault-Tec destroyed it all.â
Itâs no good. Heâs an old man, and youâre still as soft and young as ever. Heâs always haunted by his past, like with Barb and Janey, and then Sebastianâs voice in every single Mr. Handy robot he comes by, and then finally, his last couple memories with you.
âThe last two hundred something years have been filled with carnage, death, unspeakable horrors that your pretty little mind could never comprehend.â He grits out, pushing past the past and remembering that this is who he is nowâ a killerâ and you stare at him vacantly, because his tone is so much more serious suddenly. âNothing is the same. Everyone has blood on their hands, water is a fucking commodity, if youâre not watching out for humans to betray you, hideous creatures like me roam the ground, and that ground? Sands, deserts, barely a hint of green. Itâs nothing worth coming back to.â
âSo youâre saying Iâm in hell.â You suddenly inhale harshly, and Coop ignores the urge to check on you.
The last thing he needs is an extra person to take care ofâ especially someone who doesnât know the Wasteland. So itâs better now that he just weans you off and leaves you here.
âYeah, sweetheart. And I'm the devil.â Coop sucks on his teeth again. âIf you had any sense, youâd go back into that fucking freezer until some utopia is born four hundred years fromââ
You flinch, and he stops.Â
âOh, God, my eyesââ
The sight comes back slowly then all at once. Light everywhere, overwhelming your senses.Â
You blink, tears rolling down your face.Â
âMaybe it wouldâve been better if you stayed blind, Cola.â He stares at you as you rub your eyes, taking in the state of the room.Â
Itâs a warning, but you look up at him again anyways. And Coop waits for the utter horror, for the sign that he really has transformed into a monster, so he can hurry up and leaveâ this entire conversation with you is just him finishing Cooper Howardâs past with a bow. A shiny, Nuka-Cola-red bow.
â...â You swallow, and then bite your lip, tilting your head up at him. âCouldnât let go of the cowboy identity, huh?â
Coop furrows his non-existent eyebrows, disliking how hard youâre making this, how clever you still seem to beâ you also seem way too relaxed with him. He has half a mind to fire a warning shot at you. âYeah, okay, darlinâ. Youâre just avoiding facing that horrific, bile-inducing sensation in your throat, arenât you?â
You shake your head, disagreeing immediately. âYou might lookâ a little less like how I remember you, I guess⌠but youâre still you. I see it, and apparently so do you.â
How dare you? Coop thinks, how dare you intertwine his two images together so easily when he could never be the same man again, when just seeing an old VHS tape of one of his movies pains him?
âYeah, no thanks. If this is your way to get me to valet you around, Iâm not that man anymore, Nuka-Cola.â He resents the way you think he could still be goodâ just because his western image brings him a little comfort nowadays. âNot a sheriff anymore.â
Your face drops, but you seem to take that information readily. âYeah, I figured that based on your outfit, the little blood splatters on your pants⌠if thatâs how the world is, then so be it.â
Youâre saying things that on paper should be rightâ but Coop is getting more and more disgruntled with you, and you feel like you need to separate yourself from him. Yes, tough, because to you itâs been all of forty-eight hours since you kissed himâ but you can see, no matter how deep the original Cooper Howard is inside this new Ghoul, youâre not going to be able to bring him out.
You stand up, on shaky, bare feet, and motion for Coop to move out of the way. Independent woman to the end, you are, and you want to get your bearings without him.
Coop internally sighs. He doesnât believe for one second youâll survive out thereâ and he really doesnât need to spend the time seeing you die, so he turns around, and leaves you here.
/
He never did find Leopold St. West, much to his chagrinâ you really, really messed up his day.Â
It happens. Sometimes heâll see Janey in another personâs eyes and freak out, and have to boil it down by murdering random raiders.Â
But now Coop is just spiteful. Heâs always figured that a lot of what happened to the world was just a bunch of rich people picking and choosing a destiny for themselves to the detriment of everyone else, and now heâs aware that included you, too. To casually be grabbed away by some man, just because he was rich⌠Coop isnât unsympathetic to how you ended up, even if he treated you quite poorly. Itâs sickening.
Two hundred years of quiet, always-dwelling agony, the first few years out of fear for being alone, and the next few years spent conspiring about what couldâve happened to his familyâ and then here you are as confirmation of his worst theories.
No wonder he enjoys his casket time.
/
Coop sighs.
Vaultie is hard to keep track of. She got away with murder this time at the organ harvesting clinicâ so Coop finds it easier to stop working with her, to move when he wants to.
The Govermint (really just Bookerâs shitty gang) was rather easy to dismantle. The two sheriffs that he killed required no expertise on his part.
Heâs thinking about the fact that since Moldaver is still alive, and apparently that fucker Hank MacLean, then that means thereâs a good chance Barb and Janey are tooâ perhaps he could go and find them.
Itâs an odd urge, though. Everytime he thinks about it, he wonders how heâs actually supposed to connect with them againâ theyâve been fractured for so long, and heâs changed, and thereâs a good chance neither of them would accept him like this.
But you did, didnât you? You were on the verge of saying yes, youâd accept himâ as if nothing had changed.
Coop grumbles. The big, significant difference is that you were infatuated with him, but Barb divorced him, and Janey was too young to make that choice. He considers that it could be a pipe dream, but he still has hopeâ for Janey, at least.
He thinks youâre probably dead anyways. He hasnât seen you in several months, since that day where he unceremoniously woke you upâ and he hopes it stays that way.
He's chilling in another small, scrappy area of the wasteland. Nobody bothers the Ghoul, not when he's casually fiddling with his gun and and chewing on a toothpick.
A man runs past him, holding a significantly valuable piece of Brotherhood equipment. Maybe worth thousands of caps if he knows his shit, and he does. Thatâs a fusion core, and theyâre not exactly mass producing those anymore during the apocalypse.
Coop points his gun at him, finger on the trigger, seconds away from creating a bloody messâ
A blade thwacks into the guyâs neck, blood spurting as he falls and chokes. A personâ a womanâ jumps on his back, her face obscured by a deep green bandana . She yanks out the knife, stabs a few more times for good measureâ and Coop knows the game, heâs not surprised heâs not the only one to go after this guy.
Heâs pretty good at killing casually, and he barely even moves from where heâs standing, aiming the gun at her.
No way is he letting easy money pass by him.
Heâs about to pull the trigger extra-quick when she yanks the bandana down, taking a deep breath as she sweats, and Coop actually misses.
Itâs you. You stare up at him from where youâre squatting over the body, and your gaze hardens, furrowed brows, dark lashes, intensely dark pupils. You purse your lips, press them together, jaw set in a stern fashion, recognizing him but refusing to hear him outâ and Coop doesnât know why heâs not firing, but heâs almost⌠enamoured with how you are now, almost taken aback by your new nature.
Not so taken aback that he doesnât immediately start firing when you take the fusion core and start running.
And Coop doesnât want to actually kill you, he just wants to incite some damage. See how far you can take it.
You interweave through random gaps in the metal scraps of this little abode, seeking shelter as you do so, and Coopâs gunfire only ricochets off them with cartoony sounding âpings!â
He manages to graze your left thigh through a small window, and you inhale sharply, stopping as you grit through the pain.
Coop grins to himself. This little cat and mouse chase is what he expected, what was predictable from youâ youâre smart enough to stay on the defense, but you would probably never attack him, avoiding him because of your sad feelings of the old times, never resort to carnage unless you needed toâ
You shove past the walls where youâve been roaming, and manage one kick against his stomach and he manages to grab you and restrain you, your back against his front.
You grab his own jacket for purchase, and instead of pulling forwardâ you push back, landing on top of him with a thud that surely hurts him. Coop clenches his teeth, back against the ground now, but you scramble, straddling him. Hands around his throat, knife pressed against one of his tendons. Not outright strangling him, but just enough pressure that he knows youâre seriously threatening him.
Holy fuck, have you changed. Just like Vaultie, maybe youâre showing your honest selfâ and Coop supposes it may have been his mistake to underestimate you.
âGot a whole new outfit⌠I like it.â He admires your new leather jacket, cargo pants around your thighs pushing his arms down, a blouse fashioned out of your old Nuka-Cola dress. Tough combat boots dig into his thighs as you push against him. âDonât fucking startââ You squeeze a little harder and he groans, the tip of the knife pushing in. âWith your on and off, hot and cold bullshit.âÂ
Ooh, it sounds like you have a little bit of a grudge over how you were treated.
âGet over it, Cola. It was centuries ago, whatever we had.â He spits out, and you have a glint of sadness in your eyes.
He knew you were a little too gushy for your own goodâ not even he adapted that quickly to the wilderness of the Wasteland. He waits for you to make the mistake, apologize, break downâ and then he can take the core and get out of here.
But youâre still firm in your grasp of him, your weight pushing him down, blade against him.
Youâre not angry about back then. Youâve come to terms with that.
Youâre angry at the state of the world.Â
âYou know what I fucking hate, Ghoul?â You spit in his face, and he blinks, spittle now on his chin. âYou are all so selfish. I got left behind, likely for dead, right, and nobody gives a shit, whatever. But instead of me hoping that the leftover crumbs of society would at least try to be, I donât fucking know, more hopeful and kind, or at the very least, not be so fucking greedy and transparently trying to be the new party in charge.â
âYouâre living in a dream world.â Coop interrupts, and heâs rewarded with you carving a small, little cut on his cheek, a rapid movement you hardly think about, and it causes him to inhale sharply, a drop of blood smearing across his face.
âOh, no. Iâm not asking for everyone to hold hands and play family.â You laugh suddenly, and then somehow lean in closer, and Coop finds that in some fucked up way he enjoys the pressure against him. âItâs bullshit, that kind of image makingâ you and I both know that. But for all this supposed talk against the rich billionaires who ruined our lives, how are we not just emulating them?â
Coop is actually drawn to silence.
âMaybe you actually got fooled by self-image, Cola.â He murmurs. âOr maybe thatâs just peopleâs true nature.â
You donât like that answer. You donât actually want to believe that, but the more you think about it, the more itâs probably true. People lie all the time, but the amount of outrage youâve heard from people the last few months, bemoaning Vault-Tec and all those rich fuckers, you were inclined to believe they wouldnât act the exact same way.
Just at a different level. Power corrupts all, you guess.
You loosen your grasp a little. âThank you.â
Itâs honest, and Coop doesnât like how much he does like your nature of trusting himâ how even as this new, terrible version of yourself, you still trust him, and you still ask for his advice.
He doesnât know what to make of this, but he thinks maybe he can get some use out of you yet.
Coop wrangles his arm from out under your thigh, where youâve accidentally let a gap through, and shoves you over.
You fall with a gasp, hitting the ground, and he stands up and kicks you for good measure, while you screech in pain.Â
Coop picks you up by your throat, and you instantly move to fightingâ your blade against his stomach, teeth gritted in resolute urge to killâ but heâs got his pistol at your neck, and the way he brushes it against you is almost like a loverâs embrace.
âOne thing I hate is a fucking liar, Cola.â He grumbles, and you glare at him. âYouâre not some innocentâ why else do you got a fusion core in your pocket?â
âI never claimed I was a good woman.â You shake your head. âI just wonder why the Brotherhood, the Enclave, hell, even some of the Raiders⌠everyone wants the ultimate piece of the pie.â
âBesides, youâre the one who kept saying to survive out here Iâd have to be a killer.â You remind him, and he looks down at you, thinking. âThe worldâs grievingâ I donât blame it for that, I feel the same way.â
Youâve still got a way with words, he thinks, and he was right. He can use you for his benefit.
âSay, Nuka-Cola. Why donât we take some of those fuckers down?â He stills. âNot randoms. The power-hungry pie-eaters, like how you so eloquently put it.â
You donât fully trust him again, but youâre into the prospect. You donât want power, and you know he doesnât either, but itâs not just looting. No, no, this is something akin to revenge.
âAlright.â You whisper.
âAlright. Okay, I wonât shoot if you donât cut me.â He speaks softly, slowly, trying to cajole you out of attackingâ and you move as he does.Â
The threatening air of before is gone now, and the Ghoul has only a odd stare for you, something that makes you feel watched, almost reminding you of two centuries ago. It could be that he doesnât trust you eitherâ and so you walk onward with a gap between you two, heading to wherever a faction that needs fucking up could be.
/
Coop strolls inside the makeshift bar as you make conversation, staying within the shadows. Itâs not on official Enclave grounds, itâs simply a nearby bar where members have been known to hang out.Â
He doesnât exactly mind being the one to pick up the slack of killing peopleâ he can tell youâre good at charming people what with your former bombshell acting techniques, your silly, soft blinks, the way how your skin still looks smooth and untouched.
Was it all a lie with him? Aw, shit, why does he care? He really doesnât have time to wonder if heâs been manipulated by youâ he wonât be manipulated by you now, when he gets rid of many the people who represents obstacles in his way to finding still-existing Vault-Tec members.
Yes, thatâs all this is to him. Another step to finding Moldaver, Henry MacLean, then his family if heâs lucky. And youâll get some rage out of it, so he doesnât even consider this to be that bad of an evasion of his.Â
You laugh at something the guy next to you says. Coop catches a bit of it, of him asking how you look under that big jacketâ and you mentioning youâd like to see him without that government get-up, too.
He grits his teeth. Heâs not fucking in love with you, or anything stupidly juvenile like thatâ but he definitely felt something before when the two of you were fighting, or when you had conversations during the long, arduous talk hereâ you bit into a piece of his jerky when he offered it, and he laughed in surprise that you didnât spit it out after he revealed it was feral ghoul ass jerky.
He also found that his gaze kept being drawn to you, too. You kept up with him, you were capable of hunting and searching on your own, you took lives when the need arose, and you had his back, even if he didnât ask for it.
You made him subconsciously draw from the past, reminiscing about a time with you and a future he never thought heâd revisit. And now he canât ignore that, so he needs to let off some steam.
Thereâs a splatter of blood across your face as the guy in front of you splutters, a bullet hole shot through his forehead. Little pieces of flesh hit the bar counter as he falls, and you gasp.
Coop is kind of quick with it nowâ he fires off, and because these âpoliticiansâ are unprepared, heâs able to kill off more than half.
You get over your shock quickly and fire your own tiny pistol at random, managing a few kills, but the Ghoul takes the last one and looks back at you, with an intrepid glance that you canât figure out.
âWhat the hell was that?â You call out, and he doesnât respond, instead beginning to pilfer the bodies, looking for shit to take. âHey, GhoulâŚâ
âWe came here to kill off those guys.â He answers you, but itâs not really an answer.
âYeah, but I thought we agreed on discussing this shit as we were doing it. What happened to signalling?â You approach him, and as you get close enough, he turns around and stares unnervingly into your eyes.
âI did signal, sweetheart.â He clicks his tongue, lying through his teeth.Â
âBullshit.â
âNo, I did.â He points at you. âItâs not my fault that you were too busy schmoozing and flirting to notice.â
âWow.â You laugh exasperatedly at his antics, while he tilts his head. âYouâre really obtuse, you know?â
âNah. Iâm not.â
âYes, you are. Youâre gonna say youâre not jealousââ At that word, the Ghoul snarls, ready to tell you exactly how little he cares for you, and you motion for him to zip it. âBut at the very instance of seeing me flirt, mind you, in the most fake way possible, you lost it. You canât even tell the difference between my genuine flirting and the fakest, schlockiest shit?â
â...â Coop frowns, because youâre rightâ he did kind of let his mind go wild over nothing in particular.Â
Even worse, it means heâs made it apparent to you that he still harbours some feelings for your long-ago relationship. And thatâs definitely a potential weaknessâ he does not want you to believe you can just work him around.
âFuck you.â He spits, and instead of your face flinching in hurt, you stay neutral.
âI know you think you can come close and then shove me off every once in a while, because youâre fucking terrified of what it means that youâre not as hard as you pretended to be, that you still have a bit of human emotion inside you.â You tiptoe up to his face so he canât avoid you. âI donât care. Thatâs your problem.â
You turn to leave, to continue looting the bodiesâ and Coopâs hand wraps around your wrist.Â
He hates what youâve said, because itâs absolutely provoking the worst issue he hasâ he can never just let go. Two hundred years of this has made him a different creature altogether, spiteful; evil, but Coop knows as well as anyone that his transformation doesnât negate his original nature, buried deep down.
It was a lie on his partâ people are not as evil as he made them out to be, itâs the cycle of this situation that perpetuates that shit. Violence begets violence and all that. He canât seem to say this to you, though, because he can tell you already probably knew that.
What is this fuckery, that youâre able to generate such a sense of guilt in him?
âShow it to me again. Genuine flirting.â he says instead, and he knows itâs stupid as hell to say something like this. âItâs been hundreds of years, you canât expect me to fuckinâ rememâŚâ
You grasp his arm back, making him quiet.
Heâs half expecting you to punch him, but you see something you likeâ something that finally satisfies you, and you kiss his cheek, where you cut him much earlier in the day. Itâs a soft bruise, mostly healed over in the way ghouls healâ but itâs overwhelmingly, embarrassingly hot there now as you pull away.
âI wonât forget the difference next time, Nuka-Cola.â He tips his hat at you in a mockery of his acting as a dashing cowboy once upon a time.
âWonât be a next time.â You shrug. âI would hate to have to flirt with someone again just to get you to notice me.â
This severely bothers him, like you havenât been an annoyance in his mind this whole time. And then he wonders if youâre an idiot, like you have no idea the effect you had on him back then, and even now. Hell, even that overly-chaste kiss has him remembering how he felt at Sebastianâs party when you humoured him the first time.
Do you think the only thing heâs burying is some empathy for the human race?
He canât just let you be this wrong about this, no fucking way. And itâs with this in mind that the Ghoul feels his reserve melt as he tightly grabs your face and kisses you. Not a soft, movie-star kiss of the past, but one more hungry, his lips swallowing yours, pressed sternly, firmly, like heâs not gonna let you go. He parts his mouth ever so slightly, trying to catch a reaction from you.
Youâre caught off guard, and heâs glad. He likes that you donât know what to do with yourself, that for once youâre floundering rather than him, and you barely remember to kiss back until a couple seconds later when your hands grasp the base of his skull. Youâre tracing grooves, calluses, skin thatâs been eroded by his ghoulishness. You feel like he tastes ever so acidicâ perhaps from the radiation emitting from his bodyâ but some weird part of you loves it, and you part your lips as you kiss him harder, wanting to feel his tongue.
Your lips are just as soft as he remembersâ but thereâs more excitement now, more of an urgency as you kiss him, so he takes your invitation and swirls his tongue around on yours, disgustingly vulgar and perversely fast, yet lingering to enjoy the sensation, and he kinda loves being a corrupting force, being the ghoul who eats up this sweet human girl, and he tightens his gripâ it almost hurts you, how tightly his hands weave around your waist suddenlyâ and then before you know it, he pulls away.
He wipes his mouth, never taking his eyes off of you.
âSo. Did I taste like Nuka-Cola?â You joke, and he laughs in your face.
âNope. Darlin, you havenât been the Nuka-Cola girl for hundreds of years. They replaced you not long after you vanished.â He smiles widely at how your face drops. âI can show you some of the new girlâs billboards, if youâd like.â
âThat would explain the lack of revenue.â You raise your eyebrows. âThen why do you still call me Nuka-Cola, Cola, etcetera?â
âThatâs how I remember you.â It sounds too sweet, too nice that he keeps your nickname on tabs, so he twists his lips in a sneer. âPlus I donât remember your name.â
âOh.â You bite your lip, finding his insult more funny than anything else, and turn around to take items from the bodies around you. âOkay, Mr. Howard.â
It was the optimal moment for you to joke back, calling him the Ghoul, but in classic you-fashion, you decided to extend an olive branch to himâ reminding him that heâll never just be the Ghoul to you. And even if Coop knows heâll always remember you by Nuka-Cola, he has a fondness for you that he doesnât neglect anymoreâ and he murmurs your name so softly, but just enough that you turn back and look at him, and smile with pleased recognition.Â
#cooper howard x reader#cooper howard x you#the ghoul x reader#the ghoul x you#the ghoul#cooper howard#fallout#fallout tv#fallout x reader#fallout x you#ghoul x reader#ghoul x you#fallout show#fallout 2024#fallout tv series#fallout amazon#fotv#fallout series#fallout prime#the ghoul angst#the ghoul imagine#the ghoul fallout#the ghoul fluff#cooper howard imagine#fallout imagine
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rival fashion designer!minghao
â synopsis: where minghao flexes his fashion awards whenever your brand competes against him during fashion week. â WC: 3k â WARNINGS: explicit language, smut, reader uses a transparent clothing (just like rihanna in oscar x swarovski), oral (f. receiving) ENORMOUS DICK!MINGHAO, slight face slap, mentions of choking on a cock, penetrative sexâor trying to.
look, you werenât trying to start beef with minghao. you donât even know why the dude hates you so much. okay, maybe you said one thing about his fall line looking like it got snatched off the clearance rack at an IKEA. but that was a year ago. and also? you were drunk and kinda bitter âcause your show got bumped for his stupid avant-garde puff-sleeve renaissance clowncore shit.
but now, every fashion week is like a personal vendetta for him to humble you. youâll be vibinâ, sipping your overpriced latte in the designer lounge, and this man will just stroll in, decked out in some vintage runway piece that costs more than your annual budget, flashing that âi won best emerging designer againâ smirk like itâs a fucking weapon. and then heâll throw some casual shit like:
âoh, y/n, is that your collection over there? i thought they were setting up for the kidâs line showcase.â
[...]
so this year, you swore you wouldnât let him get in your head. youâd play it cool, professional, unbothered. except you walk into your studio late one night, the day before your big runway debut, and this man is just there. sitting on your worktable. wearing a pearl-studded harness and leather pants so tight it should be a crime.
you freeze, halfway through the door, holding the iced coffee you begged your intern to grab five minutes before starbucks closed. âwhat the fuck are you doing here?â
minghao barely glances up from his phone. âyour assistant let me in.â
traitor.
âwhy?â you slam the coffee on the counter, praying your voice doesnât shake. the audacity of him just existing in your space is enough to make your blood boil.
he stands, slow as hell, like heâs got all the time in the world. heâs tallâannoyingly tallâso when he steps close, youâre immediately at a disadvantage. but you refuse to back down.
âjust wanted to check out the competition,â he says, eyes flicking lazily over the chaos of fabric swatches and half-finished sketches strewn across the room. âcute line. very... simple.â
âfuck you, hao,â you snap, crossing your arms. âitâs called âminimalism.â not that youâd know anything about taste.â
he laughs, soft and low, the kind of sound that creeps under your skin and lingers there. âoh, i have plenty of taste. i just donât need to keep it basic to get attention.â
and hereâs the thing: you hate how much he gets to you. heâs a smug asshole with an overinflated ego, but heâs also stupidly talented, and you canât ignore the fact that his lines always sell out in under a day. or how his press coverage makes yours look like a local craft fair feature.
but what really gets you is how hot he looks right now, with his ridiculous cheekbones and the glint of that tiny silver chain peeking out from under his collar. itâs disgusting. you hate it.
youâre about to throw a cutting remark his way, something about how heâs overcompensating with all that jewelry, but he beats you to it.
âyou know,â he murmurs, stepping even closer, âyouâd look good in my designs.â
your brain short-circuits. âexcuse me?â
âif you ever want to elevate your style...â he trails off, dragging his gaze down the length of your body like itâs a runway.
âyou are so full of shit,â you hiss, but thereâs no heat behind it, because your stupid traitorous brain is suddenly imagining what itâd feel like to have his hands on you.
he smirks, all teeth and danger, leaning in so close you can smell his expensive cologne. âmaybe. but youâre thinking about it now, arenât you?â
you donât answer.
[...]
the next morning, youâre running on zero sleep, fueled by pure spite and caffeine, but your runway show? flawless. models everywhere, hair spray choking the air, seamstresses practically sewing on skin âcause the deadlines were that tight. and you were doing a thousand fucking things at once.
fixing a hemline here, shouting at a makeup artist thereââno, not clean girl aesthetic, weâre going full grunge today, wake up!ââall while struggling to get yourself into the swarovskied transparent gown you planned to wear for the night.
no bra, because tits were the least controversial thing in fashion. and the way the crystals draped over your skin looking likew pure art. nipples out and proud, paired with modern curls swirled to perfection and makeup that screamed chaos-but-make-it-glam.
by the time your collection hit the runway, your nerves were shredded. but watching the models strut, each piece shining under the lights... fucking worth it.
and then, the finale: your dress sweeping dramatically across the stage as you closed the parade. you bowed to the crowd, letting the cameras and whispers soak in every inch of you, and as you turned to leave, you felt it.
minghaoâs sharp eyes.
you caught his eyes just as they traveled the length of youâfrom the swirl of your hair, to the unapologetic sharpness of your nipples under the crystals, to the shimmer of your dress, down to the towering heels on your feet.
you just smirked to yourself as you headed backstage, knowing full well your collection didnât just crawl under his skin this time. it slithered under his flesh, wrapped tight around his ribs, and squeezed.
[...]
minghaoâs models stormed the runway like it was their goddamn birthright. and of course, you watched. no designer worth their silk ignored the competition, and minghao wasnât just competition, he was a walking masterclass in making everyone feel like second place.
he closed his show with his usual flare, stepping out like he already knew the applause was his. fast-forward two designers later, and the nominations for the fashion academy awards started rolling in. you didnât have to look to know minghao had already claimed half the early awards.
you watched him backstage through narrowed eyes as he balanced four trophiesâtwo tucked in his arms, two in his handsâposing for a picture with that smug-ass smile. you knew that pic was already blowing up on his Instagram. your jaw clenched, nails digging into your palm as the last nominations were announced.
and then, plot twist of the year:
your name came up five times.
designer of the year: you.
new vision in fashion: you.
collection of the year: your brand.
runway innovation: your brand.
showstopper of the year: your brand.
walking out with those five heavy-ass awards in your arms? victory tasted better than champagne. your models and team practically swarmed you, hyping you up âcause they knew how much blood, sweat, and tears went into this collection.
but what you really wanted... minghao. definitely minghao. minghao, in your line of sight. because after all the times he flaunted his wins like a smug bastard, you wanted him to feel this.
and lucky for you, fate delivered.
you spotted him in the back hallway, leaning against the wall, scrolling through his phone. clearly, he hadnât heard the last nominees. his head snapped up when your heels echoed through the space.
âoh, hey, hao,â you called out, voice sweet as honey but sharp as glass. you stopped just short of him, shifting the five trophies in your arms so they pressed against your chest. the weight of them pushed your tits up just enough to catch his eyes.
âlooks like Iâve got... a plus one on you this year.â you smirked, shaking the awards a little for good measure, the motion making the crystals on your dress catch the dim hallway light.
his eyes flicked downâbrief, subtle, but not subtle enoughâand then back up, his expression neutral, but you could feel the shift in his ego.
âcongrats,â he said, the word clipped like it physically hurt him.
âthanks, babe,â you purred, turning on your heel with a sway of your hips. âsee you next season. maybe.â
and with that, you left, letting the click of your heels carry the weight of your victory.
[...]
days later, you were lounging in minghaoâs big leather chair, legs crossed up on his table, showing the expensive ass high heels you always wore. his assistant had let you in with barely a question, and you werenât one to waste an opportunity.
when he finally walked in, his eyes narrowed immediately. âwhat the hell are you doing here?â
ârelax,â you drawled, leaning back like his office was a spa. âyour assistant said I could wait. guess they like me more than you.â
he folded his arms, leaning against the doorframe. âdidnât think youâd show your face here after the other night. thought youâd be busy polishing all those trophies.â
you grinned, slow and smug. âoh, i polished them. just thought iâd stop by to see how youâre doing. must be hard, you knowâlosing.â
his jaw tightened, but he didnât rise to the bait. instead, he stepped closer, looming over you. âyou done?â
ânot even close,â you said, standing up to match his energy. you stopped just shy of his chest, tipping your chin up. âbut donât worry, hao. iâll let you borrow a trophy sometime if you really need the validation.â you patted his shoulder.
he scoffed, his lips curling into something between a smirk and a sneer. âyou know, i like your attitude.â
you raised an eyebrow. âyeah? you must, considering how much you stalk me every season.â
âmaybe thatâs why we should work together.â
you laughed, loud and sharp, tossing your head back. âoh, thatâs rich. you? work with me? what, so you can take credit for my ideas and call it a âcollaborationâ?â
he tilted his head, eyes narrowing slightly. âiâm serious. weâd be unstoppable.â
for a second, you almost believed him. âunstoppable, huh? what makes you think iâd even want to work with you?â
âbecause you like the challenge... admit it. you love it when i push you.â
âyouâre intolerable.â
âand yet,â he murmured, stepping so close you could feel the heat radiating off him, âyou havenât left yet.â
your laugh came out breathy this time, your pulse quickening as his hand grazed the curve of your hip. âyou think Iâm staying here for you? please. your assistant let me in, remember?â
âsure,â he said. his thumb traced slow circles against your side, almost lazy. âbut youâre still here.â
you were about to snap back with something cutting, something to wipe that stupid smirk off his face, but then he tilted your chin up with two fingers, his gaze locked on yours like a predator sizing up prey.
âstop thinking,â he whispered, leaning in just enough for your lips to almost touch. âyou might actually enjoy yourself.â
his lips were soft and plump, moving against yours so fucking good that felt unfair. his hand slid to the small of your back, pulling you flush against him, and you couldnât help the soft moan that escaped.
your hands found his chest, the fabric of his shirt warm under your fingertips as you pushed him slightly, breaking the kiss with a smirk. âyouâre bold, iâll give you that.â
âyouâre still thinking,â he teased, catching your bottom lip between his teeth before pulling back.
your hands slid up to his shoulders, gripping just enough to feel the flex of his muscles. you threatened to sit on his table.
his eyes widened slighty, his hands immediately grabbing your ass to lift you up, making you yelp. âdonât!â
âwhat? scared iâll break it?â you teased, wrapping your legs around his waist.
he places the needles that were spread lazily on the table, inside of a box. he turned, his grip firm as he carried you a few steps and sat you on a nearby armchair.
âthere were needles on that table, genius,â he scolded, his tone sulky but his fingers tracing slow lines along your thighs. âyouâd be bleeding before I even got started.â
âaww,â you cooed, dragging your nails down his neck. âyou worried about me, hao?â
âno,â he muttered, kneeling, dipping his head to kiss along your jawline, his teeth grazing just enough to make you arch towards him. âjust donât want to ruin my night with a trip to the hospital.â
your laugh turned into a soft moan as his lips found the spot just below your ear. âguess youâre not as heartless as you act.â
he pulled back slightly, his smirk sharper than ever. âyou talk too much.â
you pulled him in for another kiss, your tongues colliding this time. when you tried to take control, tilting your head for a deeper angle, he pulled back just enough to make you chase him.
minghaoâs hands were firm on your thighs, his thumbs brushing against your skin like he wasnât about to wreck you in the middle of his office. his eyes dragged down, lingering on the way your skirt was pushed up, the space between your legs bare and unapologetic.
he clicked his tongue, a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. âno panties, huh?â he said. âcame here like this?â
âwhat can I say?â you shot back, shifting slightly so his hands pressed harder against your skin. âi had a feeling youâd end up on your knees.â
his smirk deepened, his fingers tightening slightly as he leaned in, close enough for you to feel his breath. he pressed your legs further onto the armrests, spreading you wider, his hands splayed like he wanted to leave imprints.
his tongue flicked out, close enough to make you tenseâbut he didnât touch you. instead, he pulled back, his eyes locking with yours as a smirk tugged at his lips.
he leaned in again, his tongue brushing so close you could feel the warmth from his breath, but once again, he pulled back just as you tilted your hips forward.
âhao..â you warned.
âwhat?â he teased, his lips hovering over your folds.
your hands gripped the armrests as you glared down at him. âif you donât stop playing, i swearââ
he cut you off with a broad, strong lick, dragging his tongue from your entrance, through your folds, and up to your clit in one unbroken suck. your head fell back as a gasp tore from your lips.
âthat shut you up,â he muttered, his voice muffled as he dipped lower, his tongue swirling around your entrance before moving back up. âneedy much?â
âshut up and do it again,â you shot back, your voice sharper than the way your thighs trembled under his grip.
and he did the same. your clit throbbing at the rough skin of his tongue, making you melt on his armchair, he smiled at the sight, he knew how a good head felt after months dealing with needles and sparkly cloths.
his lips latched onto your folds, sucking them into his mouth before he pulls back just slightly, his tongue flicking against your clit in quick, teasing strokes. you let out a pornographic moan, before your clap a hand on your mouth, remembering the team outside the office. he chuckled darkly, his hands tightening on your thighs to hold you still. his lips wrapping around your clit again. this time, he sucked it fully into his mouth, his tongue flicking against it as his eyes flicked up to yours.
âyouâre so good at this, hmmâfuuuck!â you said, your nails drowning in the leather of the armchair. âyou mustâve practiced on a lot of other girls, huh?â
his eyes narrowed slightly, and his teeth grazed your clit just enough to make you wwhimper. âjealous?â he asked, his voice smug, though he didnât stop the relentless motion of his tongue.
âplease,â you shot back, though the way your breath hitched betrayed you as he did a zig-zag on your bud with the tip of his otngue. âyouâre better when youâre silent.â
he smirked against you, his lips curving as he pulled back just enough to speak. âthen shut me up.â
your fingers tangled in minghaoâs hair, tugging him closer, harder, until his face was buried against your pussy. his groan vibrated through you, desperate, and his hands clamped down on your thighs to steady himself as you rolled your hips against his mouth.
âthatâs it... mhmm, just like that...â
he obeyed, his head bobbing as his tongue slid against you in broad, wet strokes, his lips sealing around your clit every few seconds to suck, deep and rhythmic. the wet, obscene sounds filled the room, and your nails scraped lightly against his scalp as you held him there, guiding him exactly how you wanted.
the heat in your core coiled tighter, and you barely had time to register your orgasm hit.
your back arched, your mouth falling open as moans spilled out shamelessly. your hips rolled against his face as you came, and minghao didnât stopânot for a second. he worked you through it, sucking and licking as though he felt your climax before you did.
he only pulled back when you began to squirm, your breath coming in sharp gasps as overstimulation took hold. his lips and chin were slick as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes glinting as he looked up at you.
âhad fun?â he asked, sarcastically.
you gave a breathless laugh, your chest heaving as you leaned back in the chair. âyou talk too much for someone who just spent five minutes swallowing my pussy.â
his smirk widened, and he stood, his hands braced on the armrests as he leaned down, his face inches from yours. âand you talk too much for someone whoâs about to beg me to fuck her.â
your gaze flicked to his lips, and then lowerâto the bulge straining against his pants. âbig words,â you said. âletâs see if you can back them up.â
his hands slid to your thighs, lifting you effortlessly as he walked you back toward the deskâno needles this time. you didn't even had time to register what was happening before your skirt was pushed higher, his fingers brushing over your thighs as he settled you on the edge.
his hand worked his belt, the clink of the buckle making you clench around nothing.
âthis isnât gonna be quick,â he said as he freed himself, the sheer size of him making your breath catch. it was big both in length and girth.
you swallowed hard.
ârelax... mhmmâ
he teased your entrance with the tip, sliding it slowly against you, and the stretch was immediate, even as he slightly pressed in. your breath hitched, your hands gripping the edge of the desk as he pushed forward, achingly slow, giving you time to adjust.
ânghâfuck!â you gasped, your voice breaking as he filled you inch by hard inch.
âbreathe,â he murmured, his tone gentle despite the tension in his body. mouth glued on yours to make sure he feels your puffs of air.
âtryingâ
he paused, his hands tightening on your hips as he leaned down, his lips brushing your ear. âyouâre okay,â he whispered. âjust breathe for me.â
you hiccuped, your chest rising and falling in shallow gasps as your body struggled to adjust.
âthere you go,â he murmured, his lips brushing against your jaw as he waited âgood girl. just like that.â
you exhaled slowly, your body relaxing slightly helping him to slid in further, the fullness stealing the air from your lungs.
your hands gripped his arms, your nails digging into his skin as he finally bottomed out, his body pressed flush against yours.
âfuck,â he muttered, his voice tight as he buried his face in your neck. âyouâreâso fucking tight.â
you swallowed hard, your head tilting back as you tried to catch your breath. âyouâreâso fucking big.â
he pulled back slightly, his eyes meeting yours as a smirk tugged at his lips. âthink you can take it?â
your breath hitched, and you nodded, your hands sliding to his back as you wrapped your legs around his waist. âtry me.â
minghao hips pulls back just an inch before thrusting forward experimentally. the sound that left your lips was somewhere between a moan and a strangled gasp, your nails biting into his shoulders as your body clenched around him.
he paused, a smug smile tugging at his lips as he tilted his head to the side, his eyes flicking over your face. âyeah, knew thatâd happen.â
âdonâtââ your breath hitched as he moved just slightly, a tiny shift that made you clutch at him even harder. âdonât fucking smile like that.â
his laugh was quiet, he leaned down, his forehead brushing against yours. âwhy not? youâre almost cummin already.â
âiâm notââ the words caught in your throat as he slid just a little deeper, your body trying desperately to adjust to his size.
ânot what?â he asked, his tone playful as he stilled again, waiting for you to catch your breath.
ânotâcummingâ you managed, though your voice shook with the effort of speaking.
âhmm.â his thumb grazed your clit, circling it trying to soothe your nerves. âthen why are you holding on to me likethat?â
you glared at him, though the effect was probably ruined by the way your mouth fell open with a gasp as his thumb pressed down just slightly harder.
your body tensed as he began to move again, sliding in slowly, each inch dragging against you in a way that made your head fall back. the wet squelch of your body adjusting to his girth filled the room, obscenelly.
âshit,â he muttered, his voice tight as he wrapped his arm around your waist, holding you steady. âyouâre soâtight. feels like youâre trying to squeeze me out.â
âmaybe i am.â
he laughed softly âyouâre all talk,â he murmured, his thumb still circling your clit. âthat pussy is begging for me.â
âhao,â you whispered, your hands clutching at his arms as your legs tightened around his waist. âiâfuck, i canâtââ
âyou can,â he said softly, his lips moving against your neck. âbreathe for me, baby. youâve got this.â
you exhaled shakily, your chest rising and falling against his as you tried to relax, tried to let the tension in your body melt away. his thumb pressed a little harder against your clit, insistent, coaxing pleasure to override the discomfort.
âthatâs it,â he murmured, his voice soft as his arm tightened around your waist. âjust like that. let me in.â
your head fell back, your eyes fluttering shut as he finally slid deeper, his hips pressing flush against yours. the sensation stole the breath from your lungs, and your fingers dug into his shoulders, desperate for something to anchor you.
âyou okay?â
you nodded weakly, your hands sliding up to grip his hair as you whispered, âmove.â
he chuckled as he pressed a kiss to your temple. ânot yet.â
your eyes snapped open, frustration bubbling in your chest as you glared at him. âhaoââ
ârelax,â he murmured, his thumb circling your clit again, making you cry out slyly. âiâm not gonna ruin you all at once. gotta make sure you can take it.â
âi can,â
âweâll see,â he said, his tone smug as he finally, finally pulled back, his cock dragging against you.
âhao, justâfuck me already.â
his laugh was quiet. âyouâre not ready for that yet, lookââ he roll his hips, making you hiccup again. âbut donât worryâIâll get you there.â
âhow about you?â you ask, feeling your orgasm building up as he circled the thumb faster, your hips rolling slightly, weak, like the cock inside you was to heavy to make you roll them freely.
âi can get off just by looking at this pretty face...â he slaps your cheek weakly, twice, making you squeeze around him. âlisten to what i'm telling you⌠you're still going to model for my brand.â he chuckles.
âiâd rather choke to death than work with your brand.â
âwhy donât you choke on something else, then?â
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