#the bridge scene was just the tip of the iceberg i want MORE OF THAT PLS | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

madara-fate · 2 years ago

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I don't mind going off anon but I only use my blog to like stuff. Whatever satisfies you I guess.

"I'm not even gonna bother commenting on what you had to say about my point" What are you even going to say to refute the point I made in the first place? There's literally nothing to say, what I said was fact. Sakura likes Sasuke. Sasuke made it clear in the lava dimension without his yin sealing power it's all hopeless. Sakura acknowledged that. Sasuke asked Naruto throughout the story why he would go so far from him. All manga facts.

The rundown would take ages to write. But to name a few:

-Accidental kiss (common Shoujo trope) which Sasuke remembers right before he 'died' in the Land of Waves.

-Sasuke's departure at VoTE1 with him looking down at Naruto's face in the rain. It's calls to mind the famous Spiderman Kiss scene, which is actually one of kishi's favorite movies.

-Specific Japanese phrase used for Naruto in reaction to Sasuke saying to fight him, which is actually commonly used for females when they're sexually aroused. No I'm not making this up. Japanese people on on 2chan also picked up on it and thought it was very weird, making comments about Naruto's gayness.

-Naruto proposing that he and Sasuke die together which is in reference to Chikamatsu's plays with romantic double suicide pacts. At a bridge too. Kishi particularly likes Chikamatsu and he has used him in other ways throughout the story.

-VoTE2 having references/similarities with Devilman Crybaby (a popular manga, which is also lgbt).

You think kishi did all this accidentally? You think he didn't know what he was insinuating with all these references to popular works? Come on. He's not stupid he knew what he was doing and many people (Japanese too) picked up on it and talked about it. So with all of this you don't consider ANY OF THESE MOMENTS ROMANTIC?

Now I know you will mention that you think they were written as siblings because that's just what you do. Because that's what you fall back on, despite the above writing making them very NON-SIBLING like. Who would make two characters that are supposed to be bros kiss on the lips even as a gag? Who would use sexual sound effects for them if they're meant to be brotherly? Who would reference romantic pacts? And that's just the tip of the iceberg. But if you want me to give you a rundown on the whole brother thing I can too. Just let me know. I can humiliate you some more.

You only use your blog to like stuff, I've heard that one before.

I didn't say that I would refute it, but I was going to justify mentioning it because as you said yourself, - "wondering why she was still so willing to risk so much for his sake, after everything that had transpired" is something that Sasuke asked Naruto on different occasions throughout Shippuden - So obviously that concept was still puzzling to Sasuke, so why wouldn't he be equally puzzled by Sskura's actions when she was essentially doing the same thing? I would have thought that was self explanatory.

-Accidental kiss (common Shoujo trope) which Sasuke remembers right before he 'died' in the Land of Waves.

For the love of god that's not romantic, Naruto and Sasuke were both gagging after that happened because they were both utterly disgusted by what had just transpired:

And as if that wasn't bad enough, when Naruto was reminded of that incident years later, it still caused him to gag, because he is a heterosexual person, and accidentally kissing another male who he was not in love with, caused him to gag, as you'd expect:

I knew you would bring this up and it's so utterly stupid how you people can take this scene, see their disgusted reaction to it, and still somehow force yourselves to see it as romantic. It is the feelings and incentives behind the actions that determine whether or not they're romantic, not the actions themselves. And the fact that Naruto and Sasuke didn't even want to perform that action, further shits on the already ridiculous idea that this accidental kiss was in any way romantic. Goodness gracious the reach is insane. Nice start.

-Sasuke's departure at VoTE1 with him looking down at Naruto's face in the rain. It's calls to mind the famous Spiderman Kiss scene, which is actually one of kishi's favorite movies.

That wasn't romantic, not least because Sasuke didn't even voluntarily get into that position. He experienced a sudden and sharp pain which caused him to drop to his knees and cough up blood. If Sasuke had actually voluntarily gotten into that position, then you'd have a point. Funny how your first two points are taking things that the characters experienced involuntarily, and are twisting that to make it seem like they wanted it to happen, all in order to suit your romantic fantasies, that's not going to work on me.

If you happened to get shot in the arm which caused you to drop to your knees in pain, and you just happened to kneel over someone's unconscious body as a result of that, no one would be calling that romantic. Only the SNS fandom.

My god the reach. So now not only are you bringing up something as insignificant as phrasing, not only is this apparent phrasing not an ironclad rule but rather only sometimes utilised, not only is this phrasing used for females and you're using this to prove something with regards to male characters, but you're also not providing any links or proof at all... And you think this was a strong point? Wow.

So you're now explicitly using things that were done in other non-related works of fiction, and trying to somehow use that to prove that they were done in the same context? Can you even prove that "Kishi particularly likes Chikamatsu and he has used him in other ways throughout the story"? Or was that just another example of you making an empty claim with no evidence at all and just expecting me to take your word for it?

-VoTE2 having references/similarities with Devilman Crybaby (a popular manga, which is also lgbt).

Lol, so you're once again using another non-related work of fiction, and trying to use that as evidence of Naruto and Sasuke's apparent gayness. Can you not see how utterly weak your points are? You're not even listing specific things which happened between them and clearly explaining to me how the scene in question was romantic. No, instead you're bringing up other random works of fiction and saying "hey look at this scene from this random and unrelated manga, it has a few scenes similar to what happened to Naruto and Sasuke so they must be gay!". That, is so, weak. So what, are you now gonna tell me that Kishi is apparently also a huge fan of Devilman Crybaby so these apparent similarities were all intentional?

Do you really need me to explain to you what a romantic scene is? Do you really need me to explain to you how to effectively argue a point? Because this isn't it. If I'm going to argue something in a manga, I'm going to use scenes, quotes and themes from that manga, it's as simple as that.

You didn't even prove that any of these references were in any way intentional. You claim how Kishi apparently likes Chikamatsu and he has used him in other ways throughout the story? Well prove it. You claim how Naruto has all these LGBTQ references to Devilman Crybaby? Well prove it.

I have explicitly proven to you how each scene which you actually explicitly referenced, were not romantic, and bear in mind that you only explicitly referenced 3 scenes, so don't go acting like you gave me all these moments when you only gave me three, and none of them were romantic. You spent the rest of your time trying to vaguely compare Naruto to other non-related works of fiction, and using these apparent similarities (which you didn't even prove), to justify your assertions, but that's not going to work.

You don't see me using every manga that heavily features the "Star-crossed Lovers" trope and trying to somehow link that to Sasuke and Sakura's relationship do you? Because that's stupid.

As you can see, not once did I ever mention anything about them having a relationship akin to siblings, because honestly, I didn't need to. Your points were all so utterly weak that highlighting their sibling like relationship wasn't even necessary. And you need to check yourself, because you haven't humiliated anyone here, but you sure as hell have exposed just how feeble your points are, scraping the very bottom of the barrel trying to find something, anything to give SNS all these romantic connotations which don't exist.

Mentioning their accidental kiss which caused them both to gag, so romantic right?

Mentioning Sasuke dropping to his knees in immense pain when he happened to be by Naruto, so romantic right?

Mentioning apparent Japanese phrases which are used for females to justify your point about males, and providing no proof of your claims.

Mentioning Naruto telling Sasuke that they'd both die if they fought again, and trying to link that to some random play which Kishi apparently likes and has used multiple times, while once again providing no proof.

Mentioning how their 2nd fight at the VOTE apparently had all these LGBTQ references to Devilman Crybaby, and once again providing no proof.

And you think you humiliated me? Are you actually serious?

You claim that's just the tip of the iceberg? Then by all means, please do give me another rundown if you can, and I'll also poke holes through those arguments like Swiss cheese, just like I've done here, because the above attempt was absolutely pathetic.

#Naruto Uzumaki #Sasuke Uchiha #anti sasunarusasu

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1shirt2shirtredshirtdeadshirt · 2 years ago

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Is There In Truth No Beauty?Spirk Meta

Kirk and Spock, Miranda and Kollos: Parallels

Folks, we really need to talk about “Is There In Truth No Beauty?” TOS 03x05.

Yes, it is in the third season of TOS. Yes, it is one of my favourite TOS episodes of all time.

My partner and I were on the couch wheezing, gooped, gagged, SHOOK at how off the deep end Kirk went in this episode in his rabidity and desperation to save Spock.

I live. I got my jush. I yelled at my TV at the absolute gall of JTK.

But there is more to this episode than that incredibly intense, wild scene of Jim Kirk throwing a completely blind Miranda Jones around a room as they scream at each other and tussle over Spock’s unconscious body in sickbay . . . just um . . . that’s a wow. 11/10 wtfery. (As @theshipscloset would say, “yay 60′s!”)

But let’s get into that “more to this episode” that I was speaking of, shall we?

Specifically, the interesting parallels between Kirk and Spock’s relationship that are cleverly contrasted with Miranda and Kollos’ relationship.

You know the drill, if this is the tip of the iceberg, then what lies below is massive. (Y’all you know me. It’s a LONG, JUICY META POST.)

Carry on, if you’re curious:

Doctor Miranda Jones is an incredibly talented, capable and brilliant telepathic Psychologist that had the unique privilege of studying on Vulcan; she was able to control and master her telepathic abilities under the counsel of Vulcans. She is also the first of her kind in history to form a genuine connection and relationship with an alien race called the Medusans. This is an impressive human being, and she has decided to dedicate her working life to spending it alongside the Medusan named Kollos.

Like Spock, Kollos is a unique species that is poorly understood by others in the universe. Despite the fact that they are endlessly intelligent, warm, and altruistic beings who are eager to share and help others, Medusans are misunderstood as “ugly” and “dangerous”. This is due to the fact that staring at their naked, natural form can cause insanity in humans. As Jim describes them, "while the thoughts of the Medusans are the most sublime in the galaxy, their physical appearance is exactly the opposite.”

Similarly, Spock is also a deeply misunderstood species; unique in his dual heritage, Spock is often dismissed by Vulcans as “too emotional, too human, too impulsive, too Terran; a shame to Vulcan”. By humans, he is labelled as “emotionless, cold, a computer, difficult, guarded, tight-lipped, too private, too serious”. By both worlds, Spock experiences some form of rejection; scoffed at for not fitting into the ‘norm’ that is still ever present, even in the future, forcing some to feel “othered” or “weird”.

Kollos and Spock have similar experiences in that they are so unfortunately misunderstood (as a Vulcan and Medusan) when they have so much to offer.

They both also have a deep bond with a human; their human is the only one other person in the universe who truly, deeply understands them and loves them as they are. When Jim suggests Kollos is ugly, Miranda yells: “Ugly. What is ugly? Who is to say whether Kollos is too ugly to bear, or too beautiful to bear?!”

This immediately made me think of times when Kirk bristled defensively when he saw people cruelly mistreat or misjudge Spock. Those moments when people talked over Spock, showed prejudice toward him because he was alien, or because he wasn’t emotively performative or reclusive in the way that others wanted or expected him to be.

We see firsthand how vehemently protective Jim gets about Spock’s humanity -- or Spock in general -- throughout the series. We see the terse moment with Stiles in Balance of Terror (01x14); Stiles is suspicious of Spock’s similarities to Romulans, uttering suspicions and bigoted commentary that leads to Jim grabbing him by the chair and stating firmly: “Leave any bigotry you have in your quarters, there’s no room for it on the bridge.”

We also see another heart-wrenching example of this in Spectre of the Gun (03x06) after Chekov is “killed”; even among his closest friends (Kirk, Scotty, Bones), Spock is hurtfully “othered” and woefully misunderstood by all but Jim:

Spock: Gentlemen, there is one thing that requires the immediate attention of all of us. Specifically, our future.

Kirk: But not this minute, Spock . . . it takes us a little longer . . .

Spock: I understand the feeling, Captain.

Bones: *Heated* You talk about another man’s feelings. What do you feel, Spock?

Spock: *Refusing to meet eyes* My feelings are not subject for discussion, Doctor.

Bones: *Angry* Because there are no feelings to discuss!

Scotty: *Aghast* Mr Spock, Chekov is dead! I say it now and I can hardly believe it, but you worked closely with him -- that deserves some memorial!

Bones: Spock will have no truck with grief, Scotty. It’s human.

The expressions on Spock’s face during this scene are heart wrenching.

Spock just sits there, dazed and despondent, listening to Bones and Scotty verbally project these awful things onto him. He looks defeated and tired, with a face that says “yet again, I’m surrounded by people who talk for me, attacking me for not being performatively emotive in the way that would best service them, not me . . . thinking that they understand me, yet never truly knowing me at all.”

And then the camera immediately cuts to Jim, who is clearly hurt by what Bones and Scotty have said to Spock. They make a point of showing Jim immediately after this tirade at Spock, and he is wearing a tortured, stung expression:

It’s a juxtaposition between how other people -- even those close to Spock such as Bones or his own mother -- constantly misunderstand Spock, while Jim completely knows who he is. Jim understands Spock, and vice versa. He sees him, and accepts him.

Everyone else at one point or another tries to change Spock. People constantly try to push Spock to be something else, something more or less; more human, less emotional, more Vulcan, less serious . . . Jim is the only person who ever looked at Spock and simply just loved and appreciated what was there to begin with, and the feeling is mutual.

Similarly, Miranda is that for Kollos, and vice versa. They are both keenly misunderstood, by everyone but each other. This is why Jim has this pained, desperate look on his face as he quickly walks over to diffuse the situation amongst his close friends (as Jim always does in the tense, hurtful moments of misunderstanding that Spock endures; Jim always has his back):

Kirk: Bones . . . Scotty --

Spock: *Very softly* Captain . . . It’s quite alright. They forget . . . I am half human.

Spock so seldom admits to his humanity in TOS, especially in front of anyone else besides Jim. It is such a rare, stinging moment of vulnerability from him after facing such cruel vitriol and misunderstanding. The crew besides Jim doesn’t always realize it. Sometimes, they take for granted Spock’s Vulcan control. They assume he feels nothing at all, as opposed to feeling things very deeply and hiding them.

But he does feel, deeply; and even if he hardly shows it, it does hurt him when the crew uses him as an emotional punching bag, or takes to lashing out or punishing him for “not being human enough”. Just as his father punished him for “not measuring up” to being performatively Vulcan enough, humans also punish Spock for not being performatively human enough.

He’s just never enough, for anyone but Jim.

That’s what makes this moment so poignant. Spock’s use of “they” when speaking to Jim also has implications; “they forget, I am half human”. . . the unsaid piece there is, “you don’t.”

While others forget who Spock is sometimes, Jim never does. Jim is that one, sole, intimate supportive emotional connection that Spock has to cling to in his very lonely world, so often misunderstood even by the people closest to him; but not Jim. Jim is Spock’s safe place to land, and Spock is also that for Jim. It is a big part of what essentially makes them “home” to each other.

To me, this is one of the most potent, powerful character-development based moments we see in TOS; and it perfectly articulates how Spock has shared many close relationships with other members of the crew, but nobody understands him like Jim. Nobody is as close to him as Jim, and because of this, Jim can be at times defensive and near-possessive of how people treat Spock and interpret him. Miranda is very much in that same spirit in her affection and regard for Kollos; it is apparent in how she too vehemently defends and protects her alien companion. Jim similarly fusses over and worries about Spock more than anyone else on the show.

Earlier in the opening of the episode, we see a reminder of this when Jim and Spock are alone together in the transporter room before Miranda and Kollos arrive:

Jim is fretting about Spock’s safety around Kollos. He’s inspecting the glasses with skepticism, reluctant to trust it to protect Spock.

Kirk: Are you sure this visor will work?

Spock: It has proved effective for Vulcans.

Kirk: It’s you’re human half I’m worried about.

Spock: I shall . . . endeavor to keep it under control.

The scene is important because Jim knows as well as Spock does, whether he wants to admit it or not, his humanity plays a large factor in this. It’s a small but domestic and intimate scene; you don’t usually see them speaking to one another unguarded this way unless they are alone.

Jim knows Spock -- and Spock’s humanity -- well enough to know that his concerns are justified, despite Spock’s placations.

Ultimately, Jim ends up being right -- Spock’s humanity is quite a significant factor, as we learn later in the episode; Spock is afflicted by the visage of Kollos and nearly dies due to it.

But the scene perfectly articulates what I’m hitting home at: Jim understands Spock’s duality. He knows him. He sees both sides of Spock, and Jim is one of the only people who actually gets invited in to see who Spock really is. He is the first and only person to both understand and accept Spock as-is whole-heartedly, no questions asked. And it shows Jim’s almost possessive, protective side when it comes to Spock’s vulnerable human side. Again, it is similar to Miranda’s protectiveness of Kollos in the same episode, which we will talk about a bit more further below.

We discover throughout the episode that Miranda is jealous of Spock and his ability to do what she cannot; to establish a telepathic link with Kollos and see him. Because her bond with Kollos is so close and intimate, she is terrified of losing it -- so much so that she starts to do questionable things in order to preserve it. We will see the parallels to that in Jim later when he is throwing her around sickbay in desperation to save Spock.

Miranda is also quite protective of how soft and vulnerable Kollos is that so few realize or understand about him -- very much like our discussion of Spock and Jim earlier. So few people understand either alien, or make the immense effort to attempt. Kollos really is a lovely, endlessly gentle, giving, considerate, and beautiful entity, it is just that he is so damn difficult to reach. So few take the time or effort to do it. How perfectly does that parallel Spock, and how Jim Kirk was the only person to push past those fortresses of defense built by all those years of hurt, loss, repression, rejection and self-loathing; someone who dared Spock to be loved and vulnerable?

In summary, the visor scene and the Spectre scene both serve the function of articulating to the audience that Jim has a unique, deep understanding of Spock and his struggle of duality that nobody else does -- and Spock seems to prefer only sharing the more vulnerable sides of himself with Jim. I think this unique bond is purposefully paralleled with that of Kollos and Miranda throughout the episode. But Jim is not the only one defensive of Spock; the reverse is also true.

In moments like Conscience of the King, The Turnabout Intruder, The Ultimate Computer or Court Martial where Jim’s character or competency was questioned, Spock would vehemently defend him with a cold ferocity that rivalled Jim’s passion whenever he had to check someone being disrespectful to Spock.

While Kirk was vehemently protective of Spock’s humanity, Spock was vehemently protective of Kirk’s reputation and character -- which was often woefully misunderstood or misrepresented. It’s no secret that Jim wasn’t a Starfleet favourite, and a lot of dirt and rumours were flung around about his name -- both good and bad.

I’m sure that stung Spock, knowing the real Jim, and knowing how ardently Jim always went to bat for him when others were cruel. It seemed Spock could not stand to hear others slander Jim, because unlike so many others who talked about Jim and thought they knew him, Spock really knew Jim. The real Jim. The Jim who had lived through so much trauma already in his young life, who wistfully spoke of loneliness when they were alone together, whom he so endlessly admired as his Captain. Their support and respect was mutual.

Interestingly, we see those very parallels in Kollos and Miranda; parallels of loyalty, of found family, of a unique bond so strong, rare and beautiful that it is difficult for outsiders to comprehend or understand. They kind of need each other, at home and understood nowhere else but with each other.

We see Miranda, who through her own personal unique experiences (her perspective with blindness/how she is perceived) and how bitterly misunderstood she has been. Miranda is always on the receiving end of superficial pity for her blindness in lieu of acknowledging how she has accomplished and achieved so much regardless of it. She is a woman to be proud of, not a woman to be pitied; just as Kollos is a being to be proud of, admired -- not shunned or mocked for something as ridiculous as appearance (another excellent parallel to Spock).

Like Kollos, Miranda is deeply misunderstood; she has a reputation that hangs over her head that she doesn’t want, and a narrative she despises: “Oh, the poor blind girl who is going to spend her life condemned with the ugly alien.” That just isn’t her reality, but others try to force it on her.

In that vein, Jim is also deeply misunderstood; people scandalize his reputation, talk about him behind his back, make snide and disparaging comments, unable to discern fact from fiction. Picard himself pays mention to how muddled Jim Kirk’s legacy is through all the tall-tale telling and gossip mill; how so little is understood of Jim overall as a human being between the fact and fiction of his history. It’s funny how be it meta or canon, the Kirk Drift is real. Perhaps only Spock, Bones and the Enterprise bridge crew ever really truly got to know the real Jim Kirk at all.

Like Miranda, Jim also went through his own personal unique experiences that were quite traumatic (witnessing the Tarsus IV genocide; Conscience of the King 01x23, the incident as a young lieutenant when Kirk hesitated in firing phasers at a creature, which subsequently killed half the Farragut crew. Though given a commendation for bravery, Kirk continued to blame himself for the deaths. Obsession 02x13). Kirk does not share that trauma willingly; in fact it is pried out of him tooth and nail quite forcefully later through Spock and McCoy. People think they know Jim, but very few people in the actual canon know the real Jim Kirk.

Jim’s reputation in the canon is often part reality, part rumour -- and it is no secret that Jim is not loved by Starfleet. We even hear in Lower Decks about how presumably Spock is invited to an elite fleet social gathering involving the rubbing of elbows of only the biggest names in the fleet. Because his plus one was Jim, neither were permitted entry to the event -- and they end up hanging out at a dive bar together that becomes “their bar”.

We know Spock was the one invited and not Jim, because Spock is the one with the strongest reputation in the fleet at that time period. He is already established and well known as a legend serving on the flagship with Pike around the time that Jim becomes Captain (Where No Man Has Gone Before 01x03 era).

Jim was not a well liked Starfleet officer. He rubbed people the wrong way, he was blunt, he had no trouble telling superiors when he disagreed with them, and he challenged protocol and egos when it meant saving lives. Jim was labelled things like “rash, unpredictable, unhinged, reckless, womanizing, swaggering” while so very few would bring up his accolades of peace, diplomacy, his instances of ingenuity, his intelligence.

Like Miranda, Jim was pigeon-holed into a reputation that limited him; Miranda was painted as a pitiful, helpless blind woman by others when she was an impressive, accomplished medical professional. Jim was often labelled a fool-hardy meathead when he was an accomplished, talented Starfleet officer.

Look at how often throughout the TOS/Movie canon that the Fleet would try to pin penalties and harsh judgements on Jim at the drop of a hat, but they would always manage to be shocked Pikechu face every time Spock would toss out his lot with Starfleet to join Jim’s side. People thought they knew Jim and Spock, like people thought they knew Miranda and Kollos -- but nobody else in the universe ever understood them they way that they understood each other.

Another interesting parallel is in how so many people find Miranda desirable, but in a selfish, self-serving superficial way; they project fantasies, ideas, and destinies onto her that she never personally desires. Instead, they try to force her to be what she is not; to conform to roles, lifestyles, or relationships that she doesn’t want (I’m looking at Larry and his gross “nice guy-we-are-close-and-we-have-been-friends-so-you-owe-me-some-ass” routine).

This also parallels nicely with all those times others so rudely scoffed Spock’s sexual orientation and private life surrounding it (Ex: Harry Mudd in Mudd’s Women 01x06):

Times when people made unwanted advances toward him and put him in the awkward situation of having to reject them outright (Uhura in The Man Trap 01x01 getting shot down with the “Vulcan has no moon” line when she tries flirting with Spock and it crashes and burns. Also Chapel confessing her love to Spock in The Naked Time 01x04 only for him to say “I’m sorry . . .” get super uncomfortable, and nope tf out of there running and internally screaming).

Spock is the untouchable, unhaveable, unmovable; he is not at all tempted or phased by the sexual advances and demands of others -- just like Miranda and Larry. Like Spock and Chapel in TOS, Miranda cannot love Larry the way that he wants her to despite them having a very close, special bond and friendship that they both value -- however Larry is furious at her for it, and takes it out on her.

Similarly, even people close to Spock who sincerely care about him still constantly do this to him. They expect or demand him to be more human; they make his feelings and love life the butt end of their jokes or fantasies without even considering how inconsiderate or cruel that is, however unintentional. They do not always stop to think about who he really is, how he really feels, or what he really wants. Because it isn’t about him. It isn’t because they really know who he is, as Spock himself hardly knows who he really is even as well as Jim does. It is more about their own selfish reasons for wanting to get close to Spock and less about actually knowing who he really is or what he wants or needs.

There is one person who actually bothers to go in and get to know the real Spock, love him, and accept him for exactly who he is. That’s Jim. Conversely, Kollos is that for Miranda.

In both pairings, they are two misunderstood individuals brought together and who bond through intense loneliness; a pairing who truly only know and understand each other on a deeper, intimate level. Everyone else seems to know some caricature or assumption of them, but the pairings really only let it all go in front of each other (and also Bones. Bones has to deal with A LOT OF this shit. Homeboy deserves a medal of honour for his service. But even Bones misunderstands Spock quite frequently in TOS, and on occasion Jim. We see instances where Spock seems to understand Jim while Bones misses the mark, such as Conscience of the King 01x13.)

Miranda is also vehemently possessive of Kollos, protective of him, and even jealous of him and his attention; this is something we have seen throughout TOS with Jim and Spock.

(Example: Jim is actually beside himself when Spock is under the influence of the spores, making out and rolling around in the grass with Leila in This Side of Paradise 01x24. It is one of the first times Jim ever finds himself on the receiving end of disloyalty from Spock, who threatens to straight up leave Jim and the Enterprise behind for this woman.

Even though it is entirely because of an alien spore, before Jim is aware of this, he is so absolutely destroyed by that. I have never seen him so damn shook, sick and hurt in TOS as when he thinks he may have genuinely lost Spock. It wrecks him up so bad.)

In a similar vein, Miranda knows and understands how unique, how special, how absolutely precious Kollos is in the universe. She wants to protect him from people who would use his beautiful brilliance for manipulation, greed, or selfish reasons.

Similarly, Jim is also possessive and protective of Spock, recognizing what a unique asset he is and what irreplaceable value he brings. This is especially evident is TAS 01x07 The Infinite Vulcan when Agmar steals Spock in order to clone an army of Spocks; he argues that Spock is such a brilliant, pure, peaceful and wholesome mind that an army of him could force peace in their lifetime.

But Jim was absolutely furious and frustrated, because he knows Spock so well that he knows this idiot is going to destroy the one perfect unique Spock that exists in the universe in a peace mission of futility; he knows that based on IDIC, Spock would never force his beliefs on any other culture. Agmar was cloning Spock in an effort of futility, and Jim fought tooth and nail to get Spock back.

A similar situation happened in 03x01 Spock’s Brain, where Spock’s impossibly brilliant mind was stolen to run and control an alien society.

Jim knows how special Spock is; he also knows other people know it, which makes him a touch possessive and protective in matters surrounding Spock. He knows, some would try to take advantage of him.

This perfectly mirrors how jealous and possessive Miranda can be of Kollos, because she is fearful that some would take this beautiful, vulnerable and unique soul and try to manipulate it to do their bidding or serve their agendas. The Medusans have formidable and unparalleled navigational skills in the universe that could very well be taken advantage of if they are not protected.

This also explains why Miranda is scared to let Kollos close to Spock, fearing he could steal away the unique bond she has with him. She doesn’t understand Spock’s altruistic motives and frets about selfish ones (she attempts to read Spock’s mind telepathy, but he does not permit it. She does not realize he won’t try to hurt or use Kollos). She loves Kollos stubbornly, almost madly in her affection and unique bond with him.

She can’t bear the thought of that beautiful bond being torn away from her because something that she was scared to admit was the fact that she needs Kollos, every bit as much as he needs her to function. She would be lost without Kollos.

Now this takes us to the Sickbay scene where after Spock is exposed to Kollos without the visor, his mind is damaged and begins to fade; he is dying.

We saw how jealous and wild that Miranda could get out of her intense loyalty, love, and connection to Kollos. Now we get to see a sterling example of that in Kirk and how desperate he becomes when faced with the prospect of losing Spock. Like Miranda knows it about her bond with Kollos, Jim knows it of his bond with Spock: he would be lost without Spock. And when that all encompassing terror and agony is now upon him, he lashes out.

He even recognizes it in himself beforehand. He isn’t in the right state of mind before he begins the conversation -- or shall I say, throw down -- with Miranda :

Bones: Unless Miranda can look down into his mind and turn it outward to us, we will lose Spock.

Jim: *Blatantly fretting, pacing* Vulcan mind techniques, they seem so untrustworthy now that Spock’s life is at stake.

Bones: Her knowledge of them could be the only thing that could save Spock’s sanity, perhaps even his own life.

Jim: *Increasingly agitated, gesturing* But does she want to?! . . . she’s been in there so long . . .

Bones: There’s nothing else to be done.

Jim: She tried to help Marvick. Marvick is dead!

Bones: That’s different. Marvick loved her.

Jim: And Spock is her rival. *Pacing intensifies* Is that any better? Even Spock felt the violence of her jealously . . .

Bones: But they weren’t rivals in love.

Here is what Jim understands -- about Spock, about Miranda, about Kollos -- that Bones doesn’t seem to understand.

They were rivals in love, and Jim recognizes that and understands it. Maybe not to Spock, but definitely to Miranda in terms of her fearing that Spock would take her place with Kollos.

Jim can see that Miranda and Kollos are indeed in love, incredibly intimate -- and Spock was a potential threat to that closeness if he wanted to take Miranda’s job. He truly didn’t, but to Miranda, Kollos was her whole world. She was blinded by her own affection and love for him, so she could not imagine a reason why Spock would not want to take her place.

Because what she did not understand was that like Miranda, Spock too was already in the exact place that he loved above any else; at Jim’s side on the Enterprise.

She didn’t yet understand that Spock had the same kind of bond that she had with Kollos already, right there on that ship with Jim, therefore he wasn’t tempted by her position.

But Miranda didn’t know that, and was deeply jealous of Spock’s abilities that he could offer Kollos that she could not. Unlike Bones, Jim understood that Miranda could indeed love Kollos, because it was just as he loved Spock. Nobody else had to understand or comprehend it for it to be real. So Jim truly understands what he is contending with in this moment.

Without another word, unable to wait any longer, Jim starts to storm into the sickbay. Bones snatches him by the arm to stop him warningly:

Bones: Jim . . . you shouldn’t go in there.”

And here it comes my babies, this line, this line is just flipping iconic because you know we gonna see shenanigans, cowboy diplomacy, Jim has officially lost it and is in the danger zone of desperation because he says:

Jim: Whatever happens, Bones . . . don’t interfere.

Oh. My. F**king God.

DID YOU SEE BONES’ FACE after Jim said that like “Sweet Jesus, what the WHAT now? What unholy things are about to happen behind that door?”

Did he just say that?

Did JIM just say that?

Oh my God.

So it’s going down. OK.OK. *Screams endlessly into paper bag*

So now we basically have these two very stubborn and enamored characters, these foils of each other, these two idiots who have become irreparably and desperately bonded to their aliens so much so that they about to pop off over it at each other and embarrass themselves.

Now they are about to have a stubborn animal face off over Spock’s limp body. Mmhmm. Jesus. Here we go, folks.

So when Kirk walks in the very first thing we are beat over the head with is the fact that Miranda is out of her adaptive tech dress that allows her to navigate as she asks “who is it?”; she is completely blind in this moment.

Jim doesn’t answer yet, stewing, pacing, prompting her to ask: “Who’s there?”

Jim: Captain Kirk.

Miranda: I have no news for you, Captain.

Jim: No change?

Miranda: Only that his life processes are ebbing.

Jim: *Begins pacing again* What are you doing about it?

Miranda: Why, what I can, of course.

Jim: Which doesn’t seem to be much!

Miranda: *Smirking* No doubt you think I can wake him with a kiss.

Jim: It’s worth a try, isn’t it? After all, he’s not a machine.

Miranda: But he is a Vulcan.

Jim: *Angrily* Only half. The other half is human! Far more human than you, apparently. (Oh my God Jim is telling her that Spock is more warm than she ever will be I cannot -- )

Miranda: *Yelling* Face reality, captain. His mind has gone down almost too far even for me to reach!

Jim: *Getting in her face* If you don’t reach him soon, he’ll die! But that’s what you want, isn’t it? (OH MY GOD JIM)

Miranda: *Furious* That’s a lie!

*She tries to walk away but Jim f**king grabs and shakes her*

Jim: *Absolutely losing it now with desperation* Oh, yes it is! You want him to die! *Shaking her* What did you do to him on the bridge?! Did you make him forget to put the visor over his eyes?! -

Miranda: YOU’RE INSANE!

Jim: - yes you know your rival, don’t you?! You couldn’t keep him from making a mind-link with Kollos, something that you couldn’t do yourself!

*She fights to get away but Jim clings on to her spinning and wrestling with her*

With my words, I’ll make you hear such ugliness as Spock saw when he looked at Kollos with his naked eyes! The ugliness is within you!

Miranda: That’s a LIE!

*She now again attempts to wrestle out of Jim’s grip and he literally slams her against the wall.*

Jim: LIAR! Your passion to see Kollos is madness! You can never see! Never! But Spock, saw, Kollos . . . and for that he must die.

Miranda: Sadistic, filthy liar!

*She rushes from him, crying and panicked over Spock’s form, but he chases her and grabs her again*

Jim: The smell of hatred! The stench of jealousy permeates you! Why don’t you strangle him while he lies there?!

Miranda: Don’t say anymore, please!

Jim: Kollos knows what’s in your heart! You can lie to yourself, but you can’t lie to Kollos.

Miranda: *Sobbing* Please, go away.

And Jim gently lets her go, and he slowly backs out of the room, hands fidgeting, this destroyed expression of anguish and helplessness taking him over; the gravity and reality of everything that just happened leading up to this moment.

And he realizes, that very love, the very thing that drove Miranda to her madness of protectiveness and possessiveness over Kollos that he yelled at her for is the very thing that just overtook him in his desperation to save Spock.

Like Miranda and Kollos, Jim loves Spock, desperately, and he values their bond beyond words -- so much so he is willing to go to the brink of madness or even morality to try to save or preserve it, just as Miranda had.

He had even ashamed and startled himself with his own behaviour in that desperate moment. I think he is shocked and a bit frightened by how profound that realization is, on the eve of what he thinks is the loss of Spock. This was distinctly no longer Captain Kirk in the room, but Jim Kirk, throwing somebody around the room in desperation to get them to save somebody he loves. He is utterly devastated; destroyed that he may have just botched this because he let it get far too personal.

He leaves the room. He actually needs to take the wall on the way out because the whole thing physically and emotionally took so much out of him.

Bones: What did you say to her?

Jim: *Looking ill, breathing heavily* Maybe too much.

Bones: What’s she doing in there?

Jim: You may be right, Bones. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone in. She was blind . . . *guiltily* really blind. Really in the dark. And if he dies . . . *He has to collect himself, hitching on the pain of that* . . . if, he, dies . . . how do I know I didn’t kill him? How do I know that she can stand to hear the truth?

Not just the truth about Miranda is being spoken of here, but the truth of both of them: they have both allowed themselves to love a member of an alien species that they met through work, someone things were supposed to be strictly professional with . . . but they formed this deep, unshakeable, life-altering bond together that came to define them both.

Just as Miranda had been so grief-stricken, so helpless, so agonized and tortured over the thought that she might lose Kollos to Spock, Jim was now absolutely torn asunder at the prospect of losing his own intimate, once-in-a-lifetime-bond as a product of Miranda’s jealously.

Jim was right.

Kollos knew Miranda’s heart, and when he looked inside, he would know that Miranda let Spock die out of her own jealous, possessive need to maintain her close bond to Kollos and keep Spock from possibly interfering.

She finally understands; Jim is just like her. A person hopelessly in love in a relationship that nobody else seems to truly understand; agonized at the prospect of being torn from that unique, intimate bond; being rendered completely alone in the universe again without that one person who loves and understands you unconditionally.

Jim is staring down the barrel of not only losing Spock, but he is agonizing over whether or not his desperate, impassioned actions in sickbay with Miranda will directly contribute to his loss of Spock.

And that.

That vulnerable moment from Jim that Miranda unknowingly eavesdrops on is what ultimately convinces her.

When Miranda overhears Jim outside the door in that moment of pure grief and stinging defeat, she truly sees herself in him. She realizes he is every bit as desperate to keep his connection and bond to Spock as she was to keep hers with Kollos; and because of that, knowing how desolate that feels, she must help him.

Miranda: Now, Spock . . . this is to the death . . . or life, for both of us!

Miranda saw it for herself; she realized Jim was not actually some jerk who just randomly throws blind women around the room screaming for the fun of it. He inadvertently made her understand that they are two very kindred spirits indeed.

Two very different people who formed very different bonds with very different aliens, but whose depth of affection, trust, connection and love is very much the same. These parallels also highlight the beauty and diversity to be found in the philosophy of IDIC which is discussed throughout the episode; how even with our great differences, we can still find commonalities to unite us all while our differences make us stronger, not weaker.

Just as Miranda was not a victim of her blindness but was made stronger as a person overall by it, Jim was also not a victim of his past challenges or ghosts -- as he once said, he needs his pain -- for he, too, is made stronger by that which others would perceive as his weakness.

And both Miranda and Jim learned an important lesson about vulnerability that day: That it is OK to need somebody else, to need mutual support, love and understanding in your corner, even if it is just in the form of one and only one other being in the big, wide galaxy.

That parallel between the two bonds of Kirk/Spock and Miranda/Kollos, I feel, is what ultimately convinces Miranda to save Spock’s life.

She realizes it, finally, at the end: Spock means to Jim what Kollos means to me.

And with that understanding, Miranda could not help but try to save him.

Thanks for joining me for yet another heaping Slash Scroll to add to the Sacred Texts of our Slash Heritage Library. Honorary self-proclaimed Spirk PhD “Kirk-Circle” 1shirt2shirtredshirtdeadshirt signing off. LLAP 🖖 💚

Image Sources: TrekCore (If you love TrekCore, please donate to support TrekCore here)

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orange-plum · 3 years ago

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So I was commissioned by @andrastesassets to write about the scene in “Satan and Me” where Satan gives his wings away for Natalie, but from his POV. This was kinda a big turning point as a wake-up call in the series for him, as you’re probably aware if you’ve read past that point and seen him be more open with his feelings and such. Anyway, it was a fun little thing to explore (yes, this is canon thoughts of his). I never expected to be commissioned to explore deeper into a canon of my stories that hasn’t been put into words before with the images alone of the updates, but I’m def open to that in the future!

Without further ado, here you go.

The looming presence behind him paled in comparison to the disorienting lurch his stomach gave as he kneeled on the unwelcoming cement floor. Keeping his gaze down, concentrating on the little tremors of his arms holding him upright, Satan struggled to properly see through the fog of stress clouding his mind. Clouding his judgement.

Fuck, this wasn’t the right thing to do, was it? Was he being too hasty? Should he spring up and sprint out the door before he followed through with something he couldn’t come back from? This was definitely one of his more impulsive and reckless decisions he’d ever committed to. Nothing could truly be worth this kind of –

Satan’s hand twitched, starting to rise as nerves got the best of him, when a blur of orange and maroon hovered on the edge of his peripheral. For a brief moment, he found himself vaguely wondering what the smudge of color was in the expanse of drab brown walls and muted trim.

Reality came crashing against him like an unforgiving tide for what seemed like the tenth time this morning. Sweat gathered at the base of his neck and he swallowed.

Satan returned his palm flat against the cement, locking his joints and muscles into place so that he would not stand up. His stomach did another discombobulated lurch.

Right. This was for Natalie. Natalie, who had no right looking so gray, Father, she was like a corpse.

She is a corpse! His mind howled the confirmation at him, leaving his breaths shallow in his welling panic.

Yes, that was true. It had been true for hours now, yet, somehow, the complete depth of what that really entailed eluded him in his denial. How could she be dead when she had talked to him only moments ago? Human’s lives had always felt fleeting, but had any ever felt quite this temporary before?

Less than a year they had been together . . . How had she burrowed this deeply under his skin? When? Satan tried to conjure a memory to pinpoint the exact moment Natalie had become a constant in his life as he bore his back to Death and Pestilence. In the end, it was fruitless. Between his ears remained endless static.

The tension in the air was suffocating. His arms trembled, but he kept his jaw clenched.

He would give them no further satisfaction when taking the last bit of value he still possessed of his former self. They would not see him fall apart at their feet. That could come later, when left in the privacy of this cold, dreary room, where he could lick his wounds and recover in peace.

He was still Lucifer, the Morning Star and omen of destruction to all who opposed him, wings or not.

But, fuck . . . Father, he would prefer to keep his wings.

Somehow, boneless and lightheaded from the trauma of the morning, Satan noticed, with a small sense of intrigue, that his back actually felt heavier now that it was empty. How was that possible?

The long gashes where the trunks had been swiftly carved open spewed boiling trails of lava down his skin, soaking into the hem of his robe and pooling Great Lakes onto the floor. Energy had left in his limbs the moment the numbing kiss of Death’s blade breached his muscles.

On wobbling legs, Satan rose in his shock and joined Natalie at her side. He carefully reached toward her, gliding the tips of his fingers against her ashen cheek, almost afraid to touch, because she looked exactly the same. What the hell? She looked no different than when she had been splayed out like a weathered ragdoll amongst her bedsheets at sunrise, goddamnit.

Before he could garner enough strength to turn on his company and spew venom and vitriol from his lips, Satan froze. Warmth wafted over his fingers under her nose as he lowered his hand. Closer inspection revealed the gentle rise and fall of her chest. The nauseating cramping in his stomach abated so suddenly, he almost keeled over right then and there.

“Give it a few minutes,” Death commented over his shoulder, as if reading his mind. There was no longer a smile in his voice, his face a neutral mask as Satan glanced at him with gritted teeth, the sight of his former pride being folded up and collected like loose laundry too much to bear. “It takes a little while for a soul to acclimate into their body after death. I assure you, her color and liveliness will rekindle when she wakes up.”

Through the haze, Satan vaguely realized he must’ve been making some type of suspicious face when Death suddenly snorted and shook his head, his eyes gleaming. “For all we’ve been acquainted, Lucifer, you should know I’m not one to break my word. Give my regards to little Natalie when she rejoins the land of the living, won’t you. As always, it’s been a pleasure. I look forward to seeing you and your brother again when the time comes for your big day.”

With the room empty, peppered only with the soft sounds of Natalie’s breaths and the distant echoes of Death’s laughter down the desolate hallway, the elephant in the room was no longer avoidable. Satan slumped against a wall, transfixed by the rise and fall of the chest beside him. Even more so as the rosiness began to fill Natalie’s cheeks the longer she breathed life into her form.

His previous adrenaline had left him a hollow puppet, now that there was no longer the turbulent cocktail of anxiety and doubt weighing on his shoulders. Satan allowed himself to drift to the floor, lying beside the only person he had ever met who had compelled him to do something so utterly foolish. Jesus, her daredevil stunts to ground him at his lowest points seemed to have rubbed off on him, and likely not for the better.

Satan’s wounds throbbed at the edges, a constant reminder of the magnitude of what he had just done.

Don’t think about it, his mind lethargically reminded. What’s done is done, so don’t start regretting it now.

“Prophecy child, huh . . . ” Satan muttered, his arm leveraged under his head like a makeshift pillow. The light cascading through the windows almost seemed to light up Natalie’s hair in its luminescence. Amongst the carnage splattered around them from his sacrifice, she was ethereal and without blemish.

He had found out about the Child of Prophecy by chance, becoming enraged at the notion of being kept in the dark so late in the game. Natalie’s existence had changed from an everyday annoyance to one of unbearable burden.

She had the power to sway him? To sway his empire and everything he worked for? A being like that, who would steal his autonomy or cast him spellbound, was too dangerous to fraternize with. There was just too much on the line to risk throwing away for some goofy, loud-mouthed human without an ounce of self-preservation.

And so Satan had done the only logical thing he could think of at the time: He ran away, leaving her with that pitiful, crumpled face as he rejected her in that inconsequential Oregon town. The less time he spent with her, the better off he’d be.

Only . . . That had not played out as he’d hoped. Watching Natalie disappear over the side of a bridge had been like a bolt of electricity coursing through his body. That she would see him as the monster that he was, a grotesque monstrosity that even Michael had recoiled from, and attempt to help him, regardless? Well . . . Perhaps there was more to Natalie McAllister than he had originally considered. He’d cradled her close and winced while he repaid her kindness by accidentally boiling her alive.

Oregon was a wake-up call.

Natalie had piqued his curiosity, her smiling reassurance that she didn’t befriend monsters jumpstarting the heart in his chest that he had presumed stopped functioning centuries ago. Not only that, but he had no way of knowing he would soon find out that running toward the very man attacking her and her cowardly little friend, despite the blatant terror in her eyes, was only the tip of the iceberg.

“Oh,” Satan muttered, something foreign flooding into his chest, emotion catching in his throat as he stared at Natalie’s slumbering form.

Silencing Hell for him at the cost of her soul . . .

Calling him her guardian angel. Crying, not for fear of Hell, but for fear of being separated from his company . . .

As much as he wanted to deny it, the fondness in Natalie’s eyes as she smiled at him was undoubtedly genuine. She really did seem to look at him like he hung the stars above her head.

“I love you, Lucifer. I’m glad I got to meet someone like you.”

Satan trembled, unable to properly sort through the sensations overflowing from his chest as Natalie’s eyelashes began to flutter. Champagne bubbles tickled his stomach, and though not required to breathe to live, he felt so remarkably breathless at once.

So that’s what this is, Satan distantly thought, watching pale eyelashes finally parting to reveal a cognizant gaze, blinking against the trickle of sunlight warming her cheeks. When meeting Natalie’s eyes, he couldn’t keep the smile of relief from his face.

Satan understood that he had never experienced this before, but he somehow knew what to latch onto in his jumbled mind with unquestionable conviction.

I love her.

#satan and me #writing #its not technically but im going to tag it #fanfiction #writing commission #commission #andrastesassets

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casualwriter · 3 years ago

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“You want me to what, cover for you?”

“Yes, exactly.”

Suz pinched the bridge of her nose, pushing her glasses into her brows. “Do the words integrity and truth mean anything to you?”

“What about the words ‘mass panic,’ hm? Or, let’s see...” Jera hummed in mock thought. “Government secrets exposed.”

“This isn’t the government—”

“Alien invasion,” Jera continued, voice getting louder.

“It’s not—wait, is it?”

“Science experiment gone wrong, apocalypse, and before you can publish a follow up, it’s the end of the world as we know it.” Jera turned to face the small stubborn journalist and raised an eyebrow as if to ask, have I made my point yet?

“You’re asking me to publish a bullshit story—”

“Ahem. An honest story, with a very slight and harmless fabrication in it.” Jera cast her a sidelong glance before adding. “Regardless, it’s not ‘truth and integrity’ that’s bothering you anyways.”

Suz sighed reluctantly. Three years in the business and she still hadn’t made any headway. This could’ve been her break. The otherworldly tear in a solid cement wall could’ve been her break. The gap glowered eerily at her now, and she shivered. In a way, it was almost more eerie than the bodies lying in front of it.

Maybe it made her horrible, but Suz hadn’t been thinking about what the world would make of it all, but rather what her boss would say. How she would keep a few key details to herself so that it would have to be her who wrote the inevitable follow up.

And then, before she could plan out her move, Jera had shown up, walking right out of the tear in the solid cement wall.

“You poor thing,” Jera said now, after allowing Suz to dwell in her thoughts. “You’re so focused on getting published that you’ve forgotten the actual story.”

“Why do you think I’m here with a notepad and a camera? The story is literally all I want.”

Jera leaned against the wall next to the tear. “And if I told you everything? No lies or omissions?”

Suz blinked. “You’re offering me an interview?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You’re offering to tell me everything…” Suz paused. “On the condition that no one else finds out.”

Jera smiled.

“That’s a little on the edge of cruel.”

“Cruel would be killing you to keep you quiet. I’m offering to hire you.”

Suz blinked again, her gaze sliding down to the bodies once more. She didn’t have any actual proof that Jera hadn’t killed them, in fact it wouldn’t be the first time she met the other surrounded by suspicious circumstances but… Jera had never been anything but civil to her.

Whereas some of Suz’s coworkers…

“Did you say hire?”

“I could use an insider in the media.” Jera nodded at the tear and the horrid emptiness behind it where the wall should’ve been. “This isn’t the first time our worlds are interacting, and unless matters improve very quickly, there’s going to be great need for more coverups.”

“Worlds?”

“I’d make it worth your while too.” Jera continued, ignoring Suz’s comment. “I’ll double what they’re paying you now.”

“If I wanted money I wouldn’t have chosen this as my career,” Suz said, drawing her shoulders up defensively.

Jera raised a hand in a placating gesture. “I assumed you chose it because you wanted to see the world unfold before you first hand. That you wanted to be right there on the frontlines.”

“I—”

“I can offer you a far better seat to the show than that stuffy little cubicle you have.”

“—I accept.”

“We’d have to get you higher up than that cubicle anyway, so you could expect improvements—” Jera stopped and frowned for a second, finally hearing Suz, then burst into a wide smile. “I’m glad to hear that. Welcome to the team.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Suz crossed her arms, refusing to admit her own growing excitement. “Now start talking.”

As she listened, Suz’s eyes drew back to the tear before them. A scene that—as eerie and mystical as it appeared—was apparently just barely the tip of a massive world-ending iceberg.

Whatever Jera said, hiding it would be no ‘slight fabrication.’

#definitely didn’t write this to avoid the writing i’m supposed to be doing #definitely not #short story #original #fiction #not a prompt

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zutara-irosami · 4 years ago

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How did I become a Zutara fan

The iceberg scene made me realize that the Avatar was the major reason how Zuko and Katara found each other.

It was like, of all places, the Avatar had to be there at that right moment and be discovered by Katara herself, sending out a huge light that can be seen from miles and miles away.

And that very moment, Zuko's ship was just nearby, looking for the Avatar. Katara gave him a way by letting out that light and giving him a sign that the Avatar is alive after years of searching (it was like a subtle sign of the saying "light at the end of the tunnel" given by Yang and saying "come find me /come find the good"

What a delightful thing it would be to think that the Avatar was somewhat the bridge in Zuko and Katara's and their Yin and Yang connection. They're not the Yin & Yang itself, but rather, vessels. I remember both Zuko and Katara were indeed aboard vessels (Zuko in the fire nation ship and Katara in the Southern Water Tribe boat).

The Avatar being gone tipped off the scale and made Yin & Yang lost and unbalanced (bad was reigning and good was dying). By awakening the Avatar, Yin & Yang found each other through those vessels. They had their own struggles (with Zuko being yin and bad but somehow there was still goodness inside of him (in the form of Uncle Iroh and his mother's love) and Katara being yang and good but still had some darkness inside of her (in the form of her mother's death and her wiped out tribe) and then as the story progresses, they kept fighting each other because all the challanges in life that they had faced made them feel what they're feeling, but then again, by the Avatar's fate it also made their fates coexist with one another, which led them to more encounters with one another.

And then at the cave, after their moment of opening up with each other and letting each other in. When Katara held Zuko's scar, it was like Yin & Yang finally attached to form a circle again, Katara and Zuko knowing each other's troubled and scarred past made them realize that they weren't so different after all. However Yin or bad was still reigning or taking over most of the space inside the circle and Yang or good was still dying inside that circle that was formed.

Then, the Avatar and Uncle Iroh came. At first, I think Zuko was about to side with the Avatar that time, it was like goodness or Yang was starting to ease up its way through him in the form of Katara's trust and his Uncle's undying encouragement side by side to recover the dark part of the circle Yin or the bad had taken over. But somehow, Zuko still wasn't sure if he wanted to come and join them or "the good" because of Aang not being able to let go of Katara to reach his avatar state (he is just human and still a young kid after all) resulting into him barging in and doing his hug somehow annoyed angry gesture towards Zuko.

And then Zuko's confusion was further deepened when Azula came in, offering him all the things he was robbed out off before.

He may be confused at first that is why he still sided with the bad ones, because it has always been "his side" of the war after all.

But then when he came back to Ozai's side he realized that that wasn't was the side he wanted to be after all. After coming back to his father's side, he suddenly realized that he had actually changed, just like what he said Katara, but the meaning behind them was that despite him being in the bad side of the war, it somehow felt wrong, because he finally had the chance to be what is like to be on the good side (from the cave moment with Katara) so he seeked for his uncle's guidance which he had trouble getting, and then learning about avatar roku being his great grandfather.

When Zuko finally changed sides and joined the Avatar and the Gaang, he lost his bending that came out from wrath and hate and anger, which actually meant that the part of the YinYang circle that was corrupted and unbalanced was now cured by Yang or good, and that made him to seek out the firebending from the good and pure source. And also, he is now just like Katara, which made them more similar now that they're both on the same side.

Now with Zuko being on Yang or good, we all wonder, who is now Yin? Well, Yin is still the Fire Nation because of the bad things it is still doing to the other nations and Zuko is one of the vessel of it if you might say because he is an heir to the throne, and Katara, is the vessel of the Yang. Them being vessels shows us that they are the keys to balancing this evil from good, making sure that it won't get unbalanced again because of Ozai, with the help of the Avatar of course.

However, when Zuko discovered about Katara unable to forgive him, he remembered that she has some darkness inside her and he understood because he's been on the dark side before and he knows what she's going through right now. So instead of preventing her from going to the dark and facing it, he guided her there and let her face the darkness, with him staying by her side, still showing that they indeed balance each other out. Zuko knows that whatever Katara's decision on how she is going to face this, he knows that she has to be there in that darkness in order to realize if what she is doing is right or wrong. This way of Zuko helping her overcome her struggles showed us how well it turned out to be better for her, because despite the darkness swelling up inside her, she overcome it by letting go of the anger she was holding for so long, because she realized her how pitiful her enemy was that it doesnt deserve her the wrath but she knows that she could never forgive the enemy, and that a bit of that darkness would be still there inside of her, because that's what made them human after all.

Katara forgiving him showed us that despite being on opposites, they are just both humans, making mistakes and not being able to just be good all the time. But in their way of handling that darkness, it showed no matter which darkness it was, instead of running away or just letting go of it without doing anything from facing it is a better way to overcome it.

That was why when the final fight was being planned, Zuko decided to ask Katara to join him because Katara is a Vessel to goodness just like him being the Vessel to the bad. With them being with each other, it will help them face this darkness the right way, and it turned out to be exactly right. Zuko fought the darkness to do his part on restoring the balance of yin and yang while aang is fighting of ozai.

And when Azula tried to aim for Katara, Zuko jumped in front of her and was struck down by darkness through Azula's lightning which is like the darkness killing their vessel who turned against them. And by Katara saving him back, the good side gave him a chance to live again because of what he had done for the good.

That is why I shipped Zuko and Katara, because them being the vessels of good and evil is just the way of saying that they are meant to be for each other. Im not saying that Zuko might be bad again, it's just that after 100 years of war, it would still be hard to recover the goodness of the fire nation because they had been the Yin of this timeline and Zuko and Katara are the vessels between the fire nations wrath and abuse of power and the healing for the world starting with the water tribe.

And maybe, after the years of reconstructing and reestablishing the fire nation through Zuko, and healing and recovering the world through Katara, both of them will be on the Yang side for good. :)

#zuko #zutaralove #zutara #katara #avatar

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audubonbaybridge · 4 years ago

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Rest your head, little girl blue

Author: @shesasurvivor (aka @audubonbaybridge)

Rating: General

Summary: Drake just wants to keep Gosalyn safe. Maybe asking her to be his crimefighting partner wasn't the best way to do that. But someone has to be there for the kid. Especially today. Set post-Let's Get Dangerous.

A/N: How exciting was Let's Get Dangerous? I'm so happy that Gosalyn has finally arrived in the DT17 universe. Her relationship with Darkwing is everything, and I couldn't help wanting to flesh them out a litle more in this version of their lives. Consider this a little warmup for getting a grasp on their new characterizations.

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"Okay, Gosalyn- "

"Uh-uh. Quiverwing."

"Oh! Alright. Remember, Quiverwing, you want to give your enemies a sense of surprise. You want to ease through the night, sneaking up on them."

"Why wait?" The redhead duckling jumped from the perch where she and Darkwing Duck hid in wait for their nightly nemesis, St. Canard's current number one villain, Dr. Slug.

"Gosalyn!! Uh, I mean, Quiverwing!" Darkwing Duck yelped in a mixture of terror and surprise as he watched his protege leap haphazardly from the shadows and directly into the path of danger. Seeing no other choice, he jumped after her, hurrying to catch up.

"He's right around the corner, according to W.A.N.D.A.! If we hurry, we can corner him and pin him to the ground in no time!" Quiverwing Quack called behind her to Darkwing Duck as she raced along the dark, empty city streets.

"No, Gosalyn, we need to have a plan! Ahh!" Darkwing fell to his face as he tripped over a curb. His screech finally brought Gosalyn to a halt.

Turning around to the scene of Darkwing Duck splayed out across the cement, she couldn't help rolling her eyes, even if a small smile threatened to lift the corners of her beak. "Are you okay?" she asked, circling back to where he lay.

"Never better," he muttered. With a deep breath, he pushed himself up with his arms, then brushed off his costume. "But we really should be more careful. Dr. Slug is St. Canard's number one villain. He could have anything planned for us."

"But how am I going to learn how to be a superhero if I'm always playing it safe?" Gosalyn shot back. "Come on, you said you wanted me to be your crimefighting partner, remember?"

"Well, yeah... " Darkwing had brought that up. He couldn't deny Gosalyn was smart and challenging, and she was actually good in a fight. But that hadn't been the reason he had asked her to be his partner. Not the real reason, anyway.

"Then teach me!" Before he had a chance to argue, she turned on her feet and began running back in the direction of the bank Dr. Slug was supposed to be in.

"No! Gosalyn, it's not safe!"

This had the desired effect. Or so Darkwing thought, at least. Gosalyn slid to a stop, then whirled around to face him. "Safe?" she asked. "Was it safe when you jumped off a scaffold to save me?"

"Well- "

"Or when you rode your motorcycle off the wires on the Audubon Bay Bridge?"

"Well, that's just how you exit Darkwing Tower."

Gosalyn rolled her eyes and crossed her eyes. "And I guess it was safe when you marched alone to face Taura Bulba and the Fearsome Four without anyone there to help you. That seemed really safe."

"Hey, young lady!" He was mad now. He had gone into that building alone for a reason. And it was the same reason he didn't want her rushing headfirst into a dangerous trap set by a supervillain now. "That's going too far!"

For a brief second, Gosalyn drew back, quiet. Then anger flooded her eyes. "Young lady? Don't call me that! You're not my father!"

Now it was his turn to draw back in surprise. "Maybe not," he said slowly. "But I'm looking out for you anyway. Someone has to."

"I thought I told you, I don't need anyone to look out for me!" Gosalyn crossed her arms and glared at him.

This was true, and Darkwing remembered the words well. He also remembered thinking how much he disagreed with her assessment. How, no matter how much she might insist she was fine on her own, she clearly needed someone to be there for her. To help her and look out for her. And whether Drake wanted to admit it himself, he could barely stop himself from being the one to do it.

"Fine," Darkwing crossed his own arms. "But you can't help me with Dr. Slug. You'll just have to watch me this time."

"What?!" Gosalyn's beak dropped open in shocked outrage. "You can't stop me!"

"I can take away quack-fu lessons for a week if you don't stay out of this fight."

Her brow furrowed, angry, but at a loss for words. She was at an impasse, and she knew it. Gosalyn lived for their daily quack fu lessons. Truth be told, Drake hated to take them away from her himself. They gave her a focus and discipline she sorely needed and craved. She had thrived under his tutelage, and he couldn't help watching her progress with pride. But he would take them away if it meant keeping her safe now.

When it became clear to Gosalyn that he would not relent on this, she stomped past him with her hands rolled into fists, grumbling something about how ridiculous he was as she headed back to the Ratcatcher.

The journey back to Darkwing Tower was silent. Gosalyn would not look at him, instead opting to stare off into the side with a stony expression on her face, arms still crossed. She wouldn't be over missing out on tonight's fight for a while. Darkwing couldn't help the numerous glances at her as he drove. Couldn't help wondering if he had made the right call or if he should have given in and let her fight. Would it have been better for her to let her have her way and addressed the issue later? No, he was convinced that making her sit this one out was the right choice. It was the only way to make sure she understood the consequences.

Back in the tower, she quickly climbed out of the sidecar, tossing her helmet aside carelessly, not even bothering to look where it fell. Drake wordlessly picked it up, watching as she sulked up the ladder to the window overlooking Audubon Bay. Her favorite place to go when she was upset.

Placing the helmet back in the sidecar, he took a deep breath and decided to follow her. He found her curled up on the window ledge as she stared out at the city. If Launchpad were here, he would join her. It had worked before, hadn't it? Drake padded over and settled down next to her, letting his legs dangle over the side.

Gosalyn didn't even acknowledge his presence. She just stared out into space.

Drake sat in silence for a long time, trying to think about how to approach her. It was difficult sometimes, trying to find the right words to say to her. Yet he understood her. In a lot of ways, she reminded him of himself. Maybe that was what made it so difficult. He wanted to do right by her. Until they found her grandfather, he was the only guardian she had. And despite her protestations that she could take care of himself, he knew she needed someone to care for her.

This time, though, Gosalyn solved the problem for him.

"Why did you even take me in as your crimefighting partner," she asked, putting extra emphasis on the last few words, "if you didn't have any intention of actually letting me fight?"

Drake opened his bill to answer, then shut it again, still not sure how to respond. Was it this hard for everyone raising a preteen? He caught himself--raising? They had both agreed that this wasn't what that was. Gosalyn had made it clear she had her own family she wanted to get back to. And Darkwing Duck worked best as a solo act.

Except when he didn't.

"I do want you to fight," he said. "I just want you to be smart about doing it. You can't just go rushing into every situation without a plan. Remember how things went with Taurus Bulba?"

He was greeted with stony silence. Of course, she remembered.

"Look," he said, "I just want you to stay safe- "

"You treat me like some kind of baby! I'm not a baby!" She turned and glared at him, her green eyes reflecting anger, but also a flicker of something else. Doubt.

"I know you're not! But, well- " Drake stuttered, looking for the right way to explain it. What it was he wanted for her. Drake wanted her to tone her inherent strength, to keep her spirit alive, and learn how to utilize it in her favor. He just wanted the best for her. The best in the whole world. But he also knew, if he were honest, that maybe she was right. He just didn't want her to get hurt.

"Of course, you're not a baby!" He told her. "But is it so wrong that I don't want anything to happen to you? You're still just a kid, Gosalyn! A resourceful one, sure, but I still have to protect you!"

There it was: the tip of the iceberg of what was really going on inside Drake. That maybe asking her to stick around wasn't so much about giving her a place to stay and something to do while they searched for a way to bring back her grandfather, but because he couldn't stand the thought of letting her be alone in this world. That he really did want to keep her safe.

He expected her usual acerbic insistence that she didn't need anyone to protect her, but he was surprised to be met by silence. His expression softened. "Hey... you okay?"

Gosalyn glanced at him, then sighed as she looked back out over the bay. "I know you were just trying to protect me," she said.

Drake quirked an eyebrow. This wasn't going as he expected. "You do?"

Gosalyn didn't answer his question. A faraway look was in her eyes like her mind wasn't in the present. And it didn't take much for Drake to tell that something was bothering her.

"Hey, earth to Gosalyn," he said, waving a hand in front of her face to bring her back and maybe even make her laugh. No response. He studied her for half a minute before placing a hand on her shoulder. She jumped slightly at the feeling and looked over at him.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Drake asked her gently, giving her a small, encouraging smile.

He could see by the look on her face that she didn't want to tell him. But then she surprised him by doing so anyway. "It's just... it was one year ago that my grandfather disappeared."

Drake's heart fell for her. No wonder she had been acting out earlier, trying to run headfirst into danger. He'd been reading books on children with trauma, and he knew acting out was a sign that something was bothering her.

"I'm sorry," he told her quietly. It was all he had; all he could even offer her. He knew nothing he could say could take away the pain she must be feeling at the memories, at the knowledge that it had been a whole year since she had last seen her family. All he could offer was silence and to keep her company while she dealt with the pain. So he sat with her and looked out across the moonlit bay.

Eventually, soft sniffles arose from beside him, and he realized she was crying. Gosalyn hardly ever cried; she was continually trying to prove she was too tough to do anything like that. But every so often, the tears came, like on the night she had done the brave, selfless thing and destroyed the Ramrod. It had broken his heart for her then, just as it was now.

Just as he had that night, instinct took over his reactions, and he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. Immediately she leaned in, burying her face in his shirt as the soft tears gave in to louder sobs. He pulled her into his lap, where she curled into a ball as he held her while she cried until she had fallen asleep in his arms. Then, carefully, so not to wake her, he carried her to her bed, removing her shoes and tucking her in as he hummed the lullaby she occasionally hummed herself. Maybe there were words, but she hadn't yet taught him them. Perhaps someday, she would.

Gosalyn rolled over on her side in her sleep, her fist grasping on the edge of the pillow. She was sweeter than she wanted anyone to know, but she was starting to let her guard down and let Drake see it more and more. She needed a protector, whether she wanted to admit it or not. And if he could help it, he would always be near to chase away fear.

He patted her softly and whispered, "Goodnight, Gosalyn."

#Darkwing Duck #Ducktales 2017 #Ducktales #Darkwing Duck fanfic

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letters-from-r · 3 years ago

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Windy by JEON SOYEON: A Review

So last July 5 Soyeon released her first mini album as a solo act, 'Windy' which takes its name from her alter-ego. It is written, composed, and arranged by Jeon Soyeon with the help of a few professionals in the industry.

This is my review of the album.

#1 BEAM BEAM

The title track 'BEAM BEAM ' is an absolute summer bop. This is a story about Windy in her 20s. It's pop mixed with a little bit of rock. The addition of the electric guitar riffs is perfect in my opinion, it adds to the addictive feel of the song.

It's been a while since I've been so red with love I'm twenty-four, what I realized now is that, love is fucked Even if my eyes are sometimes cloudy

Even though at first it doesn't sound like it would be deep lyrics-wise, I still think Soyeon did a good job with this one. Of course, I don't speak Korean so I wouldn't know how her lyrics would sound to native speakers. I still definitely feel the poetic vibe of the lyrics when translated in English. I especially like the part where she says something along the lines of, "I have to start saving, but it takes so long to gain and it's so easy to lose," which I think describes how I feel about my own adult life in general (especially with K-Pop as an obsession, am I right? 😉).

The music video for the title track is well done. It's colorful and I liked the choreography as well. This is a solid 9/10 for me.

#2 Weather

This second track, 'Weather', has actually been spoiled before by Soyeon on a variety show. It was supposed to be the 'DUMDi DUMDi' of 2020. Now that it has been released, I definitely see the qualities of 'Weather' that would make it fit for a girl group, but 'DUMDi DUMDi' was still ultimately the better decision in my opinion.

'Weather' gives me nostalgic vibes. It doesn't even sound old, or have an old type of beat or style, but it gives off upbeat cottagecore. If anyone reading this would like to listen to 'Weather', I suggest listening with headphones because there are some really pretty background vocals in here that is very (G)I-DLE (come to think of it, 'DUMDi DUMDi' had interesting background vocals as well).

My favorite lyrics from this song:

How was your sky today? How was your day today?

I just thought it was a really interesting way to ask somebody how they're doing or how they're feeling.

Soyeon's vocals in this song is great. I see parts where she's sorta maybe kinda channeling a (G)I-DLE member, maybe she visualized a line or two to be sung by another member.

This is an 8.5/10 for me.

#3 Quit

When I heard the audio snippet for Windy, 'Quit' was one of the songs I was super excited to listen to. There's a satisfying drop for the chorus that I just really, really, really like. And I was not disappointed. Even now as I'm writing this and listening to the song I have to stop from time to time just to savor the song. Yes, it's that song for me.

This is sort of at a faster pace compared to 'Weather', with Soyeon almost rap-singing the whole time. It reminds me of her earlier songs 'Smile' and 'Day of a kid' from Unpretty Rapstar. It has some guitar in the background that is really nice as well.

There are some beautiful vocals in this song too. I had heard the live version of this song when Soyeon sang it during Miyeon's radio show on Naver called 'Gossip IDLE' and it was amazing to listen to. Soyeon is such a strong and stable vocalist that I think it would honestly surprise new fans that she isn't a lead or main vocalist.

The build up towards the chorus is signature Soyeon in my opinion, and it works every time. I like it, I like it a lot.

Don't even get me started with the lyrics. In my opinion, out of the whole album, 'Quit' has the most interesting lyrics. Soyeon had mentioned in an interview that this song is what she imagines someone else would sing to her or about her after a breakup. After reading these lyrics it makes total sense:

Thank you for crying, even if it's the end Now write songs for me, whatever This breakup must hurt you too

Implying that Soyeon would be the one writing songs for the person after the breakup. I just think it's brilliant.

The bridge after the last chorus is just *chefs kiss*. She changed up the beat a little and removed some of the instruments, which will make you feel like it's a different song completely, but after a few listens I came to absolutely love that last bridge. I love this song. 10/10.

#4 Psycho

Before the release of Windy, Soyeon described 'Psycho' as a sound she hasn't shown Neverland before, a different (new) side of her. That's exactly how I would describe this song too. It's haunting and dark. It almost has a Billie Eilish-esque quality to it, but spicier.

Did you get what kind of bitch I am? I like things that are harder than what I can have Whether it’s money or love, in front of me I make it kneel before me and I get excited about it

I think this song shows a little of what Soyeon is like when she's feeling a little mischievous and competitive. I already know as a fan that she likes to push boundaries, likes to make music that's better than what she's done previously, and isn't afraid to call people out for what she thinks are injustices. In her 'Lion' rap verse, she basically tells us as much:

I'll bite off your useless courtesy We tear down your suffocating prejudice Who would dare to stop me Careful with my sharp claws I create a new path no one has attempted before All those condescending people will click their tongues But the applause I receive after breaking that prejudice is thrilling I've had a taste, now I can't deny it I'm a queen

Which is why I love Soyeon so much. I think 'Psycho' is just the tip of the iceberg. I hope 'Psycho' is just the tip of the iceberg. I would really like to listen to more of this type of music from Soyeon.

Soyeon also achieves a new personal record with 'Psycho', with her rap verse becoming her 2nd fastest rap in her career (barring the 8-second constant).

Overall this song was interesting and enjoyable. 9/10.

#5 Is this bad b****** number? (feat. BIBI and Lee Young Ji)

This is the collaboration of the century. Lee Young Ji is one of my favorite rappers outside of K-Pop, so I was really excited to see her feature in one of Soyeon's songs (she was also in 'BEAM BEAM' music video). I've heard of BIBI before, but I hadn't listened to her songs prior to this. She's pretty famous in the K-Music scene as well.

ITBBN has an addicting dial tone sample to it and a bass-heavy beat that just tells you it's about to go down. K-Rap fans love this track, and for good reason. Lee Young Ji is amazing as usual, and BIBI with her signature laid-back rap-singing, and of course Soyeon. It was actually surprising, because Soyeon changes up the beat completely for her rap verse. It reminds me of 'Giants' by True Damage, where she also rapped as the League of Legends character Akali.

Soyeon of course breaks another personal record in this song, with her rap verse becoming her fastest rap in her career thus far (barring the 8-second constant). And her rap verse says it all:

Oh, why did I make a phone call elsewhere when I'm here? This crazy good song and an ocean of money Burning on stage, beauty is a bonus Everyone knows, in this new generation Who the leading idol rapper is, if it's king or queen or whoever it is That's not breezy, she's so Windy Oh my God, she just lights a fire and wipes it off Oh no, ew, push-off From outdated junk To ancient filth: fuck it Ring ding bring No entry except for invited Bibi and Youngji Generation Z's bad bish You probably hate us more and more But you can't help but just want to be a part of it Even by using money Right?

This is a 9/10 for me.

#letters-from-r #letters from r #windy #jeon soyeon #album review

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da-awesom-one · 5 years ago

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The Snowflake II: Light of the Stars Song Preview

*SPOILERS FOR THE SNOWFLAKE 1 BELOW!!!*

"Singing"

"Sing" - "Siiing"

*(Song Title - Source/Artist)*

MORE INFO UNDER THE CUT!!!

NOTICE: The song and lyrics were written by ME. I own the song, but not the character or the setting. This version of Jack Frost belongs to Dreamworks and William Joyce, while Arendelle and Frozen belong to Disney.

*(It’s Enough - Chris Pine)*

(VERSE 1)

Stop right there…

Don’t step out of line…

You have all that you need.

What have you right now is fine.

Turn back.

You’ve been down there before.

You’ll lose everything,

If you go and ask for more.

No more heys and hello,

It’ll just be me in the snow.

I’ll go back to being as lonely as I used to be.

No more friends who love and care.

Wanting more from them ain’t fair.

Why can’t what I have now be enough for me

(CHORUS 1)

When it’s enough?

It’s enough.

It’s more than enough.

To have a home to go to,

And friends who adore you,

Is enough.

It’s enough.

It’s more than enough…

It has to be enough.

(VERSE 2)

You can’t want.

Don’t you know the score?

You can’t hope for anything else,

Or sadness will be what’s in store.

Didn’t you learn

The lesson the first time?

Being selfish is when

You lose the right to see her shine.

Leaving her alone.

That’s when it finally hit home,

That I have to put my own needs after others’.

Love is being selfless,

Can’t risk being careless.

To have her be in my life, and allow me to be in hers…

(CHORUS 2)

Is enough!

It’s enough!

It’s more than enough.

To be there for her,

And be part of the picture

Is enough!

It’s enough!

It’s more than enough…

It has to be enough.

(BRIDGE)

Thinking back to how things were when I started,

It’s enough for me to be spotted and wanted.

To be caught up in the princess’ quirky rhythm,

Is one of the nicest gifts I’ve ever been given.

To hear the ice guy do his weird reindeer thing,

Which I admit, is sorta endearing.

And Olaf, too, with his fun attitude.

Makes my own brand of fun look subdued.

And her…

Oh, her…

The way she makes things better and bright,

And everything else feel so right,

Like a star hanging atop the vast moonlit night!

(PAUSE, CORRECTS HIMSELF.)

I owe it all to her,

That’s why I gotta make sure,

The selfish Jack Frost of old is here no longer…

Can’t want anything further…

(FINAL CHORUS)

Because it’s enough!

It’s enough!

It’s more than enough!

Friends who want me near!

Family new and dear!

Everything I ever wanted is right here!

It’s enough!

It’s more than enough!

(ENDING)

It has to be… eeenooouuugh.

This song is gonna be one of two original songs that will be featured in my future sequel to my story The Snowflake, which you can read here.

This song was written on a whim in one day, heavily inspired by all the info coming out of both Annecy (special thanks to @justlookatthosesausages for divulging what she saw) and D23 Expo last weekend.

This takes place after the charades scene. Jack checks on Elsa, because I headcanon that Jack, a being a who thrives on fun, can sense when people aren’t having fun and/or are distressed, something he has over Anna when it comes to Elsa. He goes to check on her, but knows only Anna can cheer her up.

After the sisters fall asleep, he’s glad, but can’t help but wish he was the one able to help her. He is not jealous of Anna. More like he wishes deep down that he could be someone like that for her. Someone special and irreplaceable in Elsa’s heart.

Ever since the Great Thaw, Jack has been feeling out of place in Arendelle, despite being welcomed there by Elsa and the others. It’s a heavy case of imposter syndrome, and lack of direction. His reason for being there was to help Elsa control her powers and reunite with Anna, but now that she has control, as well as Anna - not to mention she’s capable of having fun without him - he’s struggling to find a purpose to keep him close to Elsa. He WANTS to be there, but cannot shake the feeling he’s part of a picture he’s not supposed to be in. (Technically not since he’s from ROTG and he’s in Frozen, lol)

He doesn’t know what he’s feeling, and is afraid to name it. Not to mention he’s still feeling guilty for leaving Elsa right before her parents died, and for selfish reasons. He has taken “Love is selflessness” to heart, but in doing so, is unknowingly relinquishing his right to love her, even if he isn’t aware that he loves her yet.

His feelings are complicated, so the bottom line is that he’s trying not to be selfish, for he’s afraid that if he does become selfish with her, he loses his right to be a part of her life.

But that’s just the tip of the iceberg for his problems in the sequel.

Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed it! I’m super excited to write this story, as you can tell, and also excited for Frozen II!

But first... gotta finish The Snowflake 1 first!

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oscar-isaacs-number-one-bitch · 6 years ago

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“Bad Times at the El Royale” Movie Review

Bad Times at the El Royale is the sophomore effort from writer and director by Drew Goddard (The Cabin in the Woods) and stars Jeff Bridges, Cynthia Erivo, Dakota Johnson, Jon Hamm, Lewis Pullman, and Chris Hemsworth. In this film, a group of total strangers all stay at the same place: the El Royale hotel, which sits split in half by the state border between California and Nevada. As the film progresses, the characters get to know each other in ways that may seem unusual to others, but are truly only the tip of the iceberg. No one is who they say they are, including the hotel manager, Miles; perhaps even the hotel has secrets of its own. With the walls closing in and everyone getting increasingly antsy, can the guests solve this mystery before it’s too late?

This is the first Drew Goddard film I’ve seen; having not personally been privy to The Cabin in the Woods, I had absolutely no threshold or expectation for exactly the kind of film that I was in for in terms of style or script. I was curious as to how the plot would play out with the marketing and trailers having given basically nothing of it away, even accidentally. I’m very happy to say that not only did I thoroughly enjoy this movie, I enjoyed how much it enjoyed itself (to a point). Drew Goddard is an excellent screenwriter, and it is no small thing that he has an immensely talented ensemble cast to help the writing along to reach its full potential. The actual narrative plays itself out as a Hateful Eight-esque set-up a bit more in line with a “what if Clue, but the 70’s” aesthetic wherein the story opens with a mysterious dialogue-free sequence meant to shock and intrigue the audience, and then follows each character around on increasingly elaborate plot threads that one can discern weave together at various points if you’re paying enough attention and eventually piece together most of what’s going on just-too-late for the third act to really kick things into high gear.

This approach to storytelling, while having been done a few times before, is always pretty fun both as an actual exploration and exercise of mystery filmmaking and as a genuine throwback to the earlier days of films that let themselves take their time and allow the audience to relish in the fun of trying to figure it out themselves. And although the actual script (while clever) does get a bit too convoluted and show-offy for its own good on a cinematic level, it continues to work and impress enough on a theatrical level that I found myself struggling to care whether or not the film was as smart as it thinks it is because I was just having too much damn fun with it. That’s the strength of a great script, and one that I would absolutely lump in with the great “theatre films” currently under the umbrella of my cinematic vocabulary (i.e. The Hateful Eight, Thoroughbreds, etc.). It’s strange that thus far, Tarantino is the only director that I know of who continues to make that genre of film with this kind of scale, but this is a welcome surprise entry in a film category which hopefully only grows as the years go by (seriously we need more films that play out like plays with increasingly more elaborate and creative but noticeably exclusive cinematic tricks to help the story along – the genre really is full of untapped potential). The productions design is also gorgeous, with 70’s period detail just packed into every frame, of which there are many great ones (including a shot that follows Hamm down a long corridor that’s bound to be taught in film classes as a showcase for how to make your shot increasingly more interesting the longer it goes on).

The performances, of course, are all top-notch. Every member of the cast is pulling out all the stops they’ve got. Jeff Bridges has always been a reliable actor for playing a broken man who can barely remember how to talk to other people but seems warm enough, and you can tell Jon Hamm is just having all the fun in the world with the dialogue his character is given. Dakota Johnson is also really quite good here; it’s nice to be reminded that she’s a legitimate actress and not just one half of the two members of 50 Shades that have any discernable talent. In fact, the only real surprises among the cast’s swell of talent are Cynthia Erivo (here making her film debut after transitioning over from Broadway and television) and Lewis Pullman, who plays the hotel manager. Erivo is an excellent screen presence, continuing to surprise and delight with each new plot turn until one has no idea what she’ll end up doing next. Unfortunately it ends up being nothing quite as exciting as what most of the other characters are given to finish with, but that’s more the fault of an overloaded (but still clever) script than her as an actress. She holds her own well enough against titans like Jeff Bridges that one might think she’d been acting with legends like him for a while.

Pullman too has his own pretty great turn as the hotel manager. I can’t precisely remember what it is I’ve seen him in, but his acting ability has noticeably grown since then; what he’s asked to deliver in the way of lines is both hilarious and immensely disturbing, and Pullman rides that line with more natural balance than a tightrope walker in Cirque de Solei. I won’t say much about Chris Hemsworth’s character because I believe that knowing as little about him going in as possible increases the joy of watching him outperform everyone else like the second coming of Brando, but suffice it to say, he steals every scene he’s given right out from under them as if he’d just learned the secret to always winning Texas hold ‘em. It truly is an incredible thing to witness.

Where the films finds its flaws though, are in its monstrously clever script. Now, don’t get me wrong, I mean every word I’ve written on it thus far, but still it must be addressed that in order to have a clever script, it also needs to remain clear in transition from scene to scene, and occasionally Drew Goddard’s mystery boner tends to run away with itself and lose the audience in the process. It still remains fun, but that fun sometimes gives way to a bit of confusion as some decisions either in the editing room or in the script itself take the audience out of the current moment to show them the relevance of that moment to the broader story in terms of timeline or character motivation. It’s only in the third act when this stops happening, and upon reflection, it probably could have stood to happen a little earlier (though exactly where I do not know).

Following this train of thought, the second act itself is pretty long and while I certainly enjoyed watching the actors show off that they can act like nobody’s business, some of those scenes placed in the separate rooms could have stood to be a little bit shorter. I was never bored, per se, but I did start to feel those scenes being stretched out a bit too long. Perhaps this was done as a way to increase the character developments or tease further mystery, but to me, it just felt a little overdrawn. As well, there doesn’t seem to be any legitimate relevance to the idea of the hotel being literally split in half by the California/Nevada state line. There are some general rules that get addressed early on about gambling laws and monetary values, but other than that, the idea of the state line division doesn’t actually factor into the plot at all, and ultimately feels like it just Goddard trying to be clever with something he didn’t want to edit out but found no use for. In that vein, there are also one or two plot threads that never get explored or resolved that ultimately feel odd considering every other thread of their type that do get a fair amount of screen time devoted to them, but to say any more would spoil one of the larger surprises of the film, so I’ll just leave it at that.

Still, despite these noticeable (if ultimately irrelevant) flaws, Bad Times at the El Royale is a good time at the movies and gives us a welcome entry in a genre too-often passed up in both in terms of the sheer level of creativity required to play in its sandbox and the ingenuity it takes to explore that labyrinth of creation once brought to life. The performances are excellent and the characters are vibrant among gorgeous period design. It’s weirdly funny, greatly mysterious, bizarrely intriguing, and one of the better pure fun experiences in this cinematic calendar year; definitely recommended, even if only once or twice.

I’m giving “Bad Times at the El Royale” a 7.9/10

#Bad Times at the El Royale #Movie Review #The Friendly Film Fan #Jeff Bridges #Cynthia Erivo #Dakota Johnson #Jon Hamm #Lewis Pullman #Cailee Spaeney #Chris Hemsworth #Movie #Film #Review #2018 #New #Drew Goddard #70's #1970's #Mystery

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gamerzcourt · 6 years ago

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Doom Eternal Wants You To Feel More Powerful As The Doom SlayerDoom Eternal Wants You To Feel More Powerful As The Doom Slayervideo games

New Post has been published on https://www.gamerzcourt.com/doom-eternal-wants-you-to-feel-more-powerful-as-the-doom-slayerdoom-eternal-wants-you-to-feel-more-powerful-as-the-doom-slayervideo-games/

Doom Eternal Wants You To Feel More Powerful As The Doom SlayerDoom Eternal Wants You To Feel More Powerful As The Doom Slayervideo games

Doom Eternal’s gameplay debut at QuakeCon 2018 managed to hit all the right notes while highlighting the carnage of a one-man war against the forces of Hell. The follow-up to Doom (2016) manages to make its predecessor look tame by comparison, with a set of new abilities and weapons, along with an expanded traversal system through a grappling hook attached to a shotgun. With the return of the Doom Slayer–a reimagined take on the enigmatic yet equally dull DoomGuy of the original games–the developers want players to feel even more immersed in the role of the silent and imposing protagonist.

One of the biggest surprises is the new Invasion mode to complement another robust campaign, bringing enemy players into a traditional single-player experience. To go with greater focus on unique content, Doom Eternal will drop its predecessor’s SnapMap mode, in favor of new DLC focusing on the exploits of the Doom Slayer. In our talk with creative director Hugo Martin and executive producer Marty Stratton, they spoke about how much the game has changed since its 2016 predecessor, and why its new features will make it more exciting than ever.

Since its unveiling at E3 2018, the reception for Doom Eternal has been very positive. Do you have any reactions to the overall response from E3 and from QuakeCon as well?

Hugo Martin: It’s been amazing. We’re really excited to be able to give them something to look forward to. We’ve been working on it really hard and we’re just very excited to share it with the fans and to see their reaction; it’s very validating.

Marty Stratton: Yeah, we basically started on the game from a pre-production perspective right after we finished Doom that released in 2016. As a team we’ve been working on it for a couple years now so both the tease at E3, the CG teaser at E3, and then certainly [Friday] with the fans here has been amazing. They give us so much passion and energy and enthusiasm, and we had our entire team in the audience so they got to feel it as well. We did it in 2014 at QuakeCon kind of revealed the game to a crowd there, and doing it again like that this year at this QuakeCon was tremendous, it was awesome.

Looking back, were you surprised to see just how much people enjoyed Doom 2016?

Martin: I mean we believed in it. Internally, we all loved it and we knew it was fun to play, so I wasn’t surprised. I was just relieved to see that it had caught on with people. I was surprised to see just how far and how much some of the stuff caught on, to what degree it caught on, whether it’s lore or just subtle mechanic things or just the tone, just a lot of things you spend time on and you see more and more people recognize it. That was really satisfying.

Despite the protagonist being silent, and the groundwork laid by the original games being somewhat bare, the last game had a lot of personality to it. Can you talk about how you plan to not only expand the lore of the Doom Slayer, but also the world itself?

Martin: It’s definitely a continuation of what we started in 2016. We laid the groundwork for a lot of this stuff and we hope to answer a lot of the questions that we put in players’ minds in 2016, and then maybe leave them with some new ones so we have somewhere to go. We want to take fans to some really interesting locations beyond just Hell and Mars. So we’re going to Earth this time and there are a few other places that we haven’t revealed yet, but we showed some concept art that I think hints heavily towards some really epic locations. But at the end of the day, it’s about killing really cool demons with awesome guns in fantastic locations. We want to make sure that that universe is full of that stuff.

Stratton: I feel like our team has really started to hit a stride with this [game]. When you get better at something you’re able to expose more to people through the experience and I think that’s what’s kind of hitting the mark now with this stuff. And honestly we’re just [at the] tip of the iceberg and I hope we just continue to plow forward for years getting better and better and being able to give the fans more and more of what they want.

One thing that was unexpected was the new Invasion mode. It’s got vibes similar to Dark Souls, where other players will encroach upon your solo space at surprising moments. Can you talk about the initial ideas for that and how it fits into the ideal Doom experience?

Martin: For the invasions, as we showed in the gameplay video, it seemed like the best way to do it and stay within ourselves as a Doom game. It’s really fun. We’re only teasing it because obviously there’s a bunch of other stuff related to it, but we can say that it will take incidental combat areas, take all you know about them, and make it really interesting. If your game hasn’t been invaded and you walk down a hall, it’s no big deal, it’s just a hall with a couple zombies, whatever. But if you walk down that hall and you know you have invaders in your game it’s gonna make that experience really thrilling ’cause you don’t know where they are, you don’t know what they’re gonna do, or when they’re gonna attack. It sort of makes the ‘Doom dance’ social. Overall, it’s good for the game and it’s fun for the invader and the person being invaded.

There’s clearly a lot more focus on mobility in Doom Eternal. With the grappling hook and new dashing mechanic, it seems like you’re going all in with the new movement style. What was the motivation for that?

Martin: I think we wanted to make sure that the incidental combat areas, which are the spaces in between the large combat arenas, would be more interesting in Doom Eternal. But when you take those abilities into combat, you start to take those moves and combine them together into what we call traversal combos, and you’re gonna do some really cool things. You can cover a lot of ground with a monkey bar swing, a double jump, two dashes, and a grapple hook–and then you add wall climbing to that and I think it’s going to make for some really interesting traversals. It has an impact on the way the levels are designed; they’re designed maybe not so two-dimensional and flat, and now we can do a lot more different things that we couldn’t do before. We’ve provided ourselves with the tools to be able to make some really compelling spaces.

Staying on the move and in the air seems a lot more challenging and engaging this time around. But at the same, it ties into player expression during combat.

Stratton: That’s the game. It feels good to stay in the air as long as you can. We give you a bunch of these things to allow you to do that. It happens. It’s just intuitive, you feel like you want to do it, so we provide you with the chance to do it.

Martin: Yeah, in fact that second gameplay video we put out has a player on mouse and keyboard, and he’s one of our better players in the office. He plays so well. He’ll leave a Pain Elemental flying around so that he can use it, ’cause you can only grapple [or] meat hook to demons. The grappling hook is not a world grapple, like you can’t grapple onto the side of a building. You have to grapple to a demon, so he leaves a demon flying around so that he can use it as a grapple point to get wherever he wants in the space. It creates more opportunities, more things to think about as you’re playing the game. More opportunities to kind of improv your way through the fight choreography.

Usually when you make sequels, you gotta go bigger. So when you look at Doom Eternal, did you face any challenges to not only not over do it as a sequel, but also to keep things consistent with what people expect from Doom?

Martin: I think as long as you have the right filters in place, everything was built around the simple question: how do we make the player feel aggressive or encourage them to become more aggressive? Anything that falls under that category will be successful, it will feel like Doom. It begins with the questions you ask yourself as a creative, if you’re getting the wrong answers then you’re probably asking yourself the wrong questions. If it was like, how do we make the Slayer feel more stealthy? Or how do we avoid enemy contact more easily? Those are the wrong questions to ask. It’s just basically like the whole thing about Doom 2016, and why it felt refreshing. Nothing was holding you back, so combat is just about an expression of aggression.

Stratton: It’s not even just about asking yourself those questions as a creative, it’s about asking yourself those as a player. We spend a lot of time playing this game, and spent a lot of time playing Doom (2016). It’s all about that playable experience, first and foremost. I think that’s the first filter, from a gameplay perspective, from a player’s perspective– you ask yourself, “what do I want to do?”

Can you talk a little about that bridge scene in the second gameplay video? The Doom Slayer is walking in, and the people in the area are clearly afraid of him. It almost felt like an inverse of a scene from Halo with Master Chief, who’s a largely stoic and noble space marine.

Martin: Yeah, it’s just mostly to make the player feel strong. Definitely not Master Chief. I love Master Chief, absolutely. We’re Halo fans, we love those games. Not to say anything negative about their game but we actually looked to scenes in films, like when RoboCop enters the police station for the first time or when The Terminator enters the area. We likened it to a tiger entering the room, like how would a bunch of scientists act if a huge tiger entered the room? You know what I mean? They’d all back up, and especially when he slowly comes up on that guard and kind of stares at him for a beat, you hope the tiger just keeps on walking and for everybody else he does, but then we’ve all seen that movie where the tiger stops at the one guy and kind of sniffs him and he’s just terrified. That was kind of the touch stone there, to just make the player feels powerful and to tell that story.

You could see that there’s an internal struggle going on within the UAC, not everybody’s on board with this. Clearly Top Brass at the UAC is trying to bring about the demon apocalypse and not everybody is aware of this ’cause they’re actually fighting against the demons. They know who The Slayer is based on their reactions, or at least they’ve heard of the legend of The Slayer. It’s fun. We’re glad that people liked it, it seems to have resonated with people. I think the best part is the story and the tone of that, and the way it makes the player feel is very consistent with the way they feel when they play the game. There’s no disconnect between the story and gameplay moments. It’s funny to call it our cinematic story moment. It is a walk down a hall but that’s good, we’re proud of that. It’s very lean, but it resonated with people and mainly it’s consistent with how you feel when you play.

Stratton: The fact that it’s done in a video game medium, you’re telling the story as only video games can–in a good way. Which is: you’re in the helmet, it’s not third person, it’s not some fancy camera shot that you’re seeing, you’re not observing the Doom Slayer walk through that space, you are the Doom Slayer walking through that space and you see it through his eyes. You get the sense of power represented in you. It’s why I’m such a fan of it too. You couldn’t do that scene that way in a film and have it pulled off the same with that kind of first-person perspective. The fact that it’s truly made for a video game, where a cinematic scene for a video game is told in a very consistent way is just the cool part of it. Definitely.

For more info from QuakeCon 2018, be sure to check out our coverage below on the latest from Fallout 76, Rage 2, and Doom Eternal.

QuakeCon 2018

Full QuakeCon 2018 Schedule: Fallout 76, Doom Eternal, Quake Champions, And More

Doom Eternal’s First Brutal Gameplay Trailer And New Details Revealed At QuakeCon 2018

Doom Eternal Ditches SnapMap To Focus On Campaign DLC, New PvP Mode

New Rage 2 Gameplay Footage And Story Details Revealed At QuakeCon 2018

QuakeCon 2018: Quake Champions Is Permanently Free-To-Play Now

QuakeCon 2018: Doom And Rage Join Xbox Game Pass

QuakeCon 2018: Watch The Keynote Here

QuakeCon 2018: Rewatch The Fallout 76 Panel, Q&A Here

Fallout 76’s Solution To Dealing With Griefers Is Brutal; More PvP Details Revealed

Fallout 76 Has Randomized Card Packs, And They Come With Gum

This Is How Fallout 76’s Nukes Work, And What They Do

GameSpot – All News

#Doom #Eternal #feel #Games #More #Powerful #SlayerDoom #Slayervideo #Wants

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randomly-random-jen · 6 years ago

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Heaven Can’t Wait - Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven - Way More Drama Than I Can Deal With

“Bellamy!” someone shouts as he turns the corner into the public area of the station. Harper.

Now what? “Yeah?”

“Hey, we’ve been looking for you. We called you on the radio.”

“I don’t have a radio.”

She snorts. “We eventually figured that out. Abby wants to see us in Medbay. Checkup.”

Great. He sighs, falling into step next to her. She fiddles with the bandages on her hands then shoves them under her arms when she catches him watching. She looks way too much like a kid for his taste—small and lost. He doesn’t like it. “How are you, Harper?” he asks. “Really?”

“Hands still hurt like a bitch but-” She trails off for a moment, thinking. “I’m alive so I guess I’m okay.”

He continues to watch her out of the corner of his eye. Her gaze is locked to the floor in front of them, brow furrowed. There’s a scar that runs down her jawline—pale against her tanned skin. The tip of the iceberg. With Harper, most of her scars are buried deep, hidden beneath the visible ones. He hates that he couldn’t protect her from that.

“Would you quit staring,” she blurts. “It’s creepy.”

“Sorry. I’m just-”

“I’m fine, Bellamy. Really. My hands will heal.”

He believes her—she probably does think she’s fine. Her face is still drawn, though. Something’s bothering her. “Are you and Monty-”

She groans. “Do you pester Miller about his relationship like this?”

Bellamy snorts. “No. That’s way more drama than I can deal with.”

“Oh, my God,” she says loudly. “I’m not the only one that sees it. They’re like a soap opera. It just proves it’s not the women that cause the drama.”

Hearing Harper laugh feels almost as good as hearing Clarke laugh. Harper’s tough. She’s been through so much and made it out the other side in relatively one piece. She’s going to be okay, and okay is good enough. It has to be because they have nothing else.

Harper’s attention slides from Bellamy to Heaven who’s swiveling her head back and forth, tracking the conversation. “Hey, there, cutie. Who’s your new friend?” She points at the doll.

Heaven looks at her baby then holds it up to Harper’s face. “Bae.”

Harper lights up with a bona fide grin. “She can talk?”

Bellamy tries to hide his guilty flinch—he’d been keeping that little tidbit of info to himself. “Sometimes. A word here or there.” Liar, liar.

“That’s great. She’s settling in then.” Harper starts cooing over the doll, babbling to Heaven.

Settling in. Right. That’s a good thing. Maybe. It means she’s going to be okay. It’s only been, what, a week? She’ll adjust to a new family in no time.

But it’s not her you’re worried about.

Bellamy pushes the thoughts away. He’s not going to let it ruin his last days with her. “You wanna hold her?” he asks when he sees the way Harper melts whenever Heaven says a word. It’s a side of Harper he doesn’t get to see often enough.

“You think she’ll let me?”

“She likes you.”

Harper looks skeptical. “How can you tell.”

He just smiles and nudges Heaven toward Harper. The little girl hesitates a moment before reaching for Harper, settling easily in her arms. “Well, for one, you’re not Clarke, so-”

Harper laughs.

“Don’t tell Clarke I said that,” he tells her just to get her to laugh again. It works.

Harper’s eyes twinkle with amusement as she jabbers to Heaven. What is it about this kid that brings out the joy in everyone she meets?

The doors to Medbay swoosh open as they turn the corner, and Bryan storms out, almost running into them. He mutters something resembling an apology without looking at them then stomps off.

“See what I mean,” Harper whispers. “Drama.”

Bellamy has to fight back a smile as they cross the room to where Miller is sitting on one of the exam tables.

“Hey, man, where you been?” Miller asks—his voice a little too measured to sound casual.

“Around I guess. It’s been-” He takes Heaven from Harper, setting her on the table. “-A long week.”

Miller eyes Heaven. “You can say that again.”

Heaven narrows her eyes, clutching her doll tighter. Bellamy remembers the scene in the dropship that first morning and situates himself between the two, trying not to smile. Miller doesn’t look like someone that wants to take a trip down that particular memory lane—better to keep them away from each other. Safer for everyone involved, too.

Harper hops onto the table across from them. “We saw Bryan on our way in.”

Really, Harper?

“Your point?”

Harper puts on a good innocent act, but it’s obvious Miller sees right through it. “He looked a little upset. Just wondering if things are okay?” She shoots Bellamy a look.

Miller scowls. “Everything is fine. How are you and Monty—haven’t seen him around much.”

“We’re great,” she chirps.

Bellamy squeezes the bridge of his nose. “How’re the hands?” he asks Miller, trying to ward off an argument.

Miller glares once more at Harper before glancing at his hands like they’re foreign. He gives the same answer Harper did. “Fine.”

Like you would say any different.

“That’s good to hear.” Bellamy doesn’t like how awkward things are between them. And not just because they have to share a living space the size of a matchbox. He thought they’d gotten through this—the distrust and wariness. Guess not.

After a moment, Miller clears his throat. “So, um, everyone’s getting together tonight. You know, last hoorah before the end of the world.”

“I thought that was the other night.”

Miller laughs. “No that was just Jasper having an excuse to drink. Not that he needs an excuse.” He sounds tired. Too tired for eighteen. “So you in?”

“Yeah, you should come, Bellamy. We barely get to see you anymore,” Harper adds.

Bellamy furrows his brow. It’s been a while since he’s done anything with his friends besides eat lunch, and it would be nice to just hang out for once—watch them be kids for a few hours. Pretend he still is one. But...

He glances at Heaven who is petting her doll again. It’s almost like she senses his attention. She smiles up at him, and that contentment returns. “Can’t,” he tells Miller, “I’ve already got plans.”

“Aww.” Harper smiles, eyes misty. “That is so sweet.”

Miller is less amused. “Seriously? Just get someone to watch her.”

“Who? She screams if I leave her sight.”

“I hadn’t noticed,” his friend grumbles. Bellamy’s anger flares, but Miller cuts him off before he can respond. “I know you have this innate need to protect everyone, but she’s not your responsibility, Bellamy.”

“We weren’t his responsibility either,” Harper says softly.

“That was different.”

“How? Other than we’re nearly adults and she’s just a helpless little kid.”

“Whatever.” Miller glares at her.

The tension is ready to boil over and drown them all when Abby glides in, completely oblivious. “Oh, good, Bellamy, Harper, you’re here.” She tickles Heaven under the chin before moving her focus onto Miller.

“Nathan, your test results look good. The radiation is nearly gone from your system and the wounds are healing. You are free to go.” She pats his shoulder. “Harper, you’re next—we’ll get your hands rebandaged.”

Abby scuttles off to find supplies, leaving them stewing in the tension. Harper tugs at the unraveling fabric around her hands, avoiding looking at either of them. Miller glares at Bellamy. Bellamy glares right back until Miller jumps down from the table and grabs his jacket. “God, I can’t wait for her to find a family so we can get on with our lives.” He mutters some more as he stalks out, but Bellamy doesn’t catch what he says.

Harper gives him a sad smile just as Abby returns. “We don’t all feel that way, you know.”

Bellamy pulls Heaven into his lap, running a hand over her head. His friends don’t get it.

Of course they don’t—they’re just kids. They don’t want that kind of responsibility. They aren’t thinking about being parents.

He looks down at Heaven. Is that really what he wants? To be a parent?

You know it is.

It’s getting harder and harder to deny that desire. It’s getting harder and harder to let go.

Chapter 26 | Chapters | Chapter 28

#fanfic #the 100 fanfic #bellarke fanfiction #heaven can't wait #bellamy blake #harper mcintyre #nathan miller #abby griffin #friendship

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sly-punk1712 · 7 years ago

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Night Moves

AN: For this most part this is harmless just a cute little fluff. It does mention panic attacks and touches indirectly on body issues (Steve’s) so if that’s not something your interested in skip Steve’s dreams

If anyone had asked Tony, which for the official Pepper report, no one did, He’d say this was all Darcy’s fault. If the intern had just submitted to his inquisition then he wouldn’t have had to invade everyone’s privacy and he wouldn’t be trying to stem the blood flow from his broken nose. As soon as this blew over he was going to write it down somewhere official they were no longer hiring pesky tag along interns, certified geniues only. But Lewis was already here so he probably couldn’t kick her out.

She had been sleeping in his lab almost a month now. She was just as restless as the other scientists and would meander from lab to lab until she tired. So Tony let her sleep on his cot. Just polite. It was on such a night that he tinkered over improved repulser links when he heard the murmur of gentle laughter. Tony looked up from his work and glanced around. Darcy was sprawled on her back one arm covering her eyes from the harsh light of the lab. Her mouth was curved into a small smile and she was chuckling softly. Tony smiled she looked peaceful, young. A swell of affection rushed over him. She was alright.

It was nice to see someone who slept without worry in his tower. This thought was interrupted by a fuller laugh as the intern started to wakefulness the ghost of her dream still pulling her lips up at the corners. She blinked slowly still chuckling.

“Dreaming of me again, Double D?” Tony smiled as innocently as he could manage trying not to let on how curious he actually was. Darcy rubbed her face and stretched ignoring the man who so generously let her nap in his lab.

“Don’t ask. If I say it out loud I lose” Darcy said this as if it made perfect sense. and to a person pre-coffee it probably did. To Tony it was just the tip of the iceberg. He raised a brow but the young brunette simply waved him off still chuckling.

Little did she realize the absolute shit show she had begun in his life.

******************************

“This is a terrible idea. I would literally rather build Ultron again.” Bruce said rubbing his temples to combat the headache Tony was giving him. Tony scoffs.

“First of all, That wasn’t a bad idea just a poor execution. Second off, how could this go wrong?” Tony pushed the glasses up onto his head and peered at his tablet once more. Bruce just made a noise and headed for an exit.

“You are 100% on your own.”

“You’re gonna miss it!”

“I’m leaving!!” and he did. It was almost like he thought his disapproval would stop him. No he was committed. It had been three weeks of her giggling laughter and refusal to tell the joke. He had even recalibrated his memory projection glasses just to sneak a peek. Tonight he thinks, tonight it will go flawlessly.

No sooner had he thought it than the giggle sounded softly from the feed Jarvis had playing on his tablet.

“No time to waste!” He beamed and slid the glasses down to rest on the bridge of his nose. one last breath and he slide the gear to on.

This was one of the most nauseating experiences of his life. and he wasn’t sure if it was the glasses or the scene before his eyes. Steve was dressed in some sort of toga? Tony tilted his head and wondered closer looking for Darcy. Surely if this was her dream she’d be in it right? There was no one in the garden that he could see so instead he scooted closer to Toga Steve.

Toga Steve sighed heavily and pouted dropping his chin to his hand.

“If there’s a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I’ve already won that” Tony’s head snapped to look at the soldier in abject horror. Toga Steve was singing.

“No man is worth the aggravation.”

What sort of hell was this? Tony looked around for Darcy as Toga Steve continued. Suddenly as T.S. lamented his love life Darcy appeared legs crossed, also wearing a Toga on a bench near Toga Steve. but she wasn’t alone.

Beside her, also in togas, were SHIELDs deadliest assassins. Barton with his usual reflective sunglasses and purple hearing aids, Natasha with the widow bites and pom-poms?

“Who you think you kidding? He’s the earth and heaven to ya!” All three new arrivals to the dream began to sing in time to T.Steve’s tune.

“Try to keep it hidden, honey, we can see right through you.” This line brought movement from the trio as they followed Steve and began some sort of synchronized dance. It was one tenth terrifying and nine tenths hilarious. It’s no wonder she woke up laughing. Tony felt himself swell with laughter despite the fear he initially felt. That laughter wasn’t his. A side effect from being in Darcy’s psych? Honestly he wasn’t sure these glasses would even work much less work so well.

“Steve you can’t Conceal it, we know how your feeling and who your thinking of!”

“No chance no way! I won’t say no NO!” Toga Steve flounced away dramatically spinning the hem of his toga up a little.

“You swoon you sigh why deny it uh oh!” The assassins swayed in perfect time faces stone but seemingly earnest.

“It’s too cliche I wont’ say I’m in loovv”

Before Toga Steve could finish his line Tony was ripped away. Thankfully, Lewis had a twisted sense of humor.

*****************

And the other room Darcy awoke with a sharp laugh and a smile still splitting her face.

****************

Instead of waking up Tony found himself standing in a familiar room. Jane’s lab? His suspicion was confirmed by Thor walking in?

“THOR?!?!” He hadn’t mean to shout but this was an odd time for the asgardian to come waltzing in. His heart raced behind his reactor and he felt a surge of relief and tinges of longing. Not really his feelings but still strong. The beefy blond paused in surprise. “What are you doing here buddy?”

“I’m here to collect my Lady Jane for our date. Why are you here Anthony?” He tilted his head curiously like a oversized labrador. Date? The awnser appeared before he could even verbalize his confusion. The lab doors opened again and Jane came crashing through looking nothing like the Jane he had seen half an hour ago. For one thing, this Jane was showered and looked well rested. and in a sparkly dress. Tony made to push the glasses up and rub his eyes.

When he reached his face he found no cool glass and metal. No glasses. So this was a dream. Jane’s dream if he had to guess. He had thought Thor looked extra ripped.

“Hey Sorry I’m... Tony?” Jane asked in confusion. He waved sheepishly in greeting.

“Sorry I think I’m lost.” He gestured over his shoulder feeling odd for intruding. If this was Jane’s dream he didn’t want to intrude on her time with Thor, imagined or not. He felt the longing she did and knew he needed to evacuate quickly before the tears or the sex. This dream was likely to go either way at the moment.

He opened the door that normally would have lead to his lab and hastened threw.

*******************

In Jane’s actual lab she awoke face drool glued to a paper. She peeled her cheek free and groaned. No Thor. but why would Tony be there?

*********************

When he closed the steel door behind him his gaze lighted on a room that was most certainly not his lab. It was a dimly lit, rather drafty bedroom. In the bed before him was a woman. Pale, skinny, blond and unmoving. His heart sank slightly. His own feeling. Beside her to the left stood a young Bucky Barnes hat in hand eyes rimmed red with tears. To her right holding her hand... well Tony wished he could leave this right now. Bruce was right. This was the worst idea he’d ever had.

Steve knelt, not small and sickly, like a 1930s him should have been. Instead he was in his uniform, strong and handsome, huge hands swallowing her slender one, face soaked in tears and snot.

“No Ma, please, Look at me, I’m here, It’s me Stevie” He babbled not letting her hand go. “Ma look! I did it! I’m so much better now Ma, healthy and tall. I can take care of us both now Ma. Please just look at me.” Tony had never heard Steve talk like this. Like he was from fresh off the boat. An Irish accent cut threw the Brooklyn accent he sometimes spoke with. not a trace of the midwestern show horse the USO tour made him.

“Ma!” He cried and for being the biggest one in the room he sounded like a little boy to Tony’s ears. Bucky moved forward and Tony left out a soft sigh, Barnes would handle this, make Steve stop hurting.

Barnes rested his hand on Steve shoulder calling, Steve’s gaze to meet his. The young man gave a crooked smile, Tony had seen a thousand times.

“Let her go Stevie. Being big isn’t gonna fix this.” Tony’s gut clenched, this dream stank of something sinister. “Didn’t help me did it?” His face was still in the kind smile even as his words made Steve recoil. Tony’s heartbroke, a Steve feeling.

“No Steve!” Tony couldn’t be silent anymore. The dream morphed around him and he was looking up at the sky. The light blinded him and he could barely make out Steve’s face against the bright sky.

“Tony please!” Steve sank to his knees. “Damnit Jarvis let him go. Tony hang on.” Tony realized he couldn’t move. He was trapped. In his suit. Steve’s fingers clawed helplessly at the armor. “Tony!!” Steve’s voice was getting distant. Tony’s chest felt tight. was this a panic attack in a dream? Could he die here if he died in Steve’s dream? His heart began to race and fear pounded thicker than his blood.

“I’m sorry” Steve sat back, bloody hands on clutching in his hair rocking slightly. He was giving up. Oh God Steve wake up!! He thought desperately.but his vision began to shrink and go dark. As the darkness overtook the sky his panic faded to calm, fear settling into rest and Tony saw his mother and Steve’s holding out their hands.

***************************

Steve bites his tongue when he wakes up, startling violently upright sweat covering his body. After a few deep breaths he sighs. Just a dream. He can hear the sound of Bucky’s documentary playing in the living room and takes a fortifying breath. Everything is okay. He’s home.

***************************

His eyes opened once more to blinding light. He sat up in a slight panic hands flying to his chest. His hands moved so that was something. He sent up a silent prayer that Bruce would find him soon. or at least that there would be no more nightmares. He shuddered. Poor Steve.

Panic settling he examined the terrain to find himself in a soft green field. An open empty place that looked a bit like late spring. A single tree broke up the landscape the only thing visible in this vast dreamscape. He trotted toward it. In dream time distances pass oddly and he found himself running up on the tree faster than he’d intended he screeched to a halt when he saw who was seated beneath the tree weapons drawn, eyes narrowed.

Natasha, Clint and Agent were all in some weird killer puppy pile, sprawled across each other looking practically peaceful save the angry looks and sharp knives there were holding. He held his hands up in surrender not moving. They assessed him shrewley.

“I don’t want trouble.” He said honestly. Dying once in a dream was bad enough he’d rather not give them reasons to kill him again.

“What do you want?” Asked Agent.

“Just to rest” Tony answered after a moment. “Just to sit and be with you.” He shuddered at the acceptance that filled him. It was finality as he’d never felt it. Natasha nodded and even tho they went back to lounging no one put away their weapons. Tony didn’t dare move any closer instead keeping his hands visible he sank to the ground. Into what was probably the softest grass he could even imagine. Actually he couldn’t imagine it and that’s why it was someone else’s dream. but whos? No thought or feeling projected in a way that was helping him decipher. Clint or Natasha? Natasha or Clint?

The four of them sat contented for what felt like a long time. The spysassins gently combing fingers over Agent Agent. Tony enjoying the peace and also studying the pair. This wasn’t how he ever got to see them. So fucking happy. It tugged somewhere deeper than his heart. He closed his eyes to enjoy it.

Maybe it didn’t matter who’s dream this was. Maybe that was the point it was less a dream than a rest. maybe it was both of their dreams. Tony opened his eyes to look at him teammates and their handler. He said a prayer to whoever answered his prayers that this could be every dream for them. Tony was glad they decided to stay in his tower. That joy just made this dream invasion all the more terrible. Something else swelled in his heart. Something sour. Regret. He didn’t want to be here.

“I’m going to go now.” He said finally. His voice was soft but not hoarse like an unused voice should be. Three steely eyes rested upon him. Natasha nodded first. Clint closed his eyes with a small smile and Agent hummed in chest.

Tony stood and made to walk away.

“Tony.” He couldn’t tell who spoke. He turned regardless. “We’re glad you’re here” None of the three’s mouths moved but he still heard it. If anyone could figure out telepathy just for the sake of being closer to someone it’d be these two. Tony smiled and began his trek into the openness of the field.

******************

Natasha and Clint woke without moving. Her eyes opened and alert swept the room. He gave a soft groan at being woken from a good dream. Their eyes met briefly before they settled deeper into their bed and each other’s arms. Unwilling to wake just yet. Contented.

*******************

Tony awoke to being sucker punched in the face. The greenness of the Agents’ dreams popped from view as the bridge of his glasses was violently propelled into his nose.

“HOT FUCK!” He cried hands shooting to his face. Threw watery eyes he saw the small crowd standing in front of the chair he’d started this whole fasco in. Steve in a fresh tee shirt and sleep pants arms crossed frowning at him, Jane in her lab coat looking Pissed with a capital P. Bruce shaking his head slightly and lastly Darcy shaking her hand out indicating she’d been the one to break his nose.

“W’at was dat for?” He pouted pushing the glasses off his face and into his hair.

“Like you don’t know!” Jane snapped and left the room in a huff.

“Otay I’m sobta sobby.” He shrugged. “But Da’cy woulbn’t tell me ‘er dream” He pouted tilting his head back. “T’at was a good d’eem do, Ah like ‘oga Steebe.” He grinned. Bruce and Steve gave Darcy a look.

She flushed.

“That is nothing what it sounded like. Toga Steve is hot for Toga Bucky who never makes it to my dream because I wake up laughing at the singing.” She babbles. Bruce once again pinches his nose and throws a towel in Tony’s direction. Steve blushes.

“So Smooth Da’cy.” He smiles. She glares and stomps out too. Steve looks at Tony uncertainty.

“Are you okay Tony?” Steve asks finally.

“Mah Nose Is bwoken but dat’s otay” He shrugs. “Are you?” Tony tilts his head so the bleeding stays minimal but he can eye Steve. Steve shrugs and runs a hand threw his hair.

“Wasn’t a good night.” He rubs his neck. “Sorry my dream wasn’t funny.” Tony marvels at the man who’s apologizing to Tony when Tony was the one dream peaking.

“Its otay Stebe, Ah’m sobby Ah made you sad” Steve’s eyes search his face closely and Tony turns to look at him properly most of the blood drying. Steve deserves to look at him properly. There’s a long pause, it’s the stillest this room has ever been with him in it. Bruce watches puzzled.

Steve gives a crooked smile and nods once.

“Goodnight Tony” Steve says softly making for the door.

“Night Stebe. Sweet Dreams” Tony grinned at Steve’s parting scoff. Bruce waits till the door is closed before clearing his throat expectantly.

“W’at?”

“Well?”

“Welp W’at?”

“Aren’t you gonna tell me what her dream was?” Bruce for all his nay saying was just as curious as he was! Tony beamed and held a hand dramatically to his chest.

“B’uce dat’s a hooge viola’ion of privacy!!”

“You literally violated everyone’s privacy tonight!!!” Bruce protested.

“Yea well this is mah learning from may mishakes”

Bruce’s eye twitched dangerously but he merely snatches Tony’s dream hopping glasses and stomps back to his lab.

“And you said it was a bad idea!” He shouts. Theirs the sound of glass smashing probably the 600 thousand dollar dream glasses. It was not a bad idea.

His nose throbs.

Okay maybe it was a dumb idea, but only maybe and he’s gonna right that in the Pepper report later. 12 percent of a dumb idea.

On his way toward his apartment he passes Darcy on his cot, soft smile starting on her face. He pauses thinking about the all dreams he visited.

And maybe tag along interns weren’t so bad.

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hackquarters · 5 years ago

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Take Off Istanbul Startup Summit: Great Startups and Great Panels

Take Off Istanbul Startup Summit was the biggest free startup festival in the world. Thanks to our friends at Turkey Technology Team and Invest in Turkey, we were prepared for hordes of startups arriving at Istanbul.

We have received more than 2000 applications for Take Off Istanbul Startup Summit, from more than 80 different countries, all around the world. The event took place within Teknofest Istanbul Aerospace and Technology Festival, which is also a one of a kind event in its own category. For that reason, Teknofest and Take Off took place in Istanbul’s new, huge airport, which is set for official opening on Republic Day, October 29th.

Sonic boom, drones, rockets…

The new tower at the new airport, which symbolizes a tulip.

Teknofest was a great event by itself, as there were loads of activities such as rocket competitions, drone races, hackathons, great shows by world-famous Turkish Air Force and even a race between fastest vehicles in the world: F-16 fighter jet, a passenger jet, sports cars, F1 racing car and a racing motorcycle driven by world-champion Turkish driver and now a member of parliament, Kenan Sofuoğlu, who eventually win the race.

In 4 days of Teknofest, hundreds of thousands of people visited the new airport. As for Take Off Istanbul, that was a great opportunity to let people know about the startup ecosystem, as most of the visiting public were students from various age groups.

Landings before “Take Off”

Ironically, rather than waiting for “Take Off” we were expecting landings the night before. As you can guess, organizing a startup event may look like it’s all about startups, investor meetings, pitches, presentations and so on, we were also trying to handle hotel transfers, startups landing at different airports and different landing times throughout the day. We did our best to communicate with all startups to get them to their hotels comfortably.

Even if all of Hackquarters stayed awake almost all night, our day started around 5 am on the first day of Take Off Istanbul Startup Summit. We went to the hotel that our international guests were staying, Grand Cevahir Şişli, and made sure that all startups are in the shuttle buses early in the day. And some members of Hackquarters were in the new airport during that time to make sure that everything is working in 3 Take Off stages.

Starting with Great Startups and Great Panels

As I mentioned before, we handpicked 200 startups from well over 2000 applications from more than 80 different countries. Most of the startups we invited to the event has surprised us in a positive way, as there were great presentations. Our time limit was 5 minutes per startup, and our startups delivered great information in that short period. We had three different stages on the first day for Energy & Environmental, Logistics & Space & Defence and Health & Wellness. 40 startups presented in each category and after the lunch break, we had 3 panels for each relative industry with participation from worldwide professionals. (You can always find more info about our panelists and keynote speakers on our official Take Off Istanbul Startup Summit website.)

We also found some time to talk to our participants during lunch break and after presentations while we were waiting for shuttle buses to the hotel. That’s when we felt like we did a great job gathering a lot of people from different countries and various verticals in the same place.

More Panels, More Startups

While we had 3 stages on day 1, we planned as 2 stages for the remaining two verticals and 1 stage for Seedstars Istanbul, which is a part of Seedstars World.

Just like the first day, our participating startups presented their businesses to our jury in Education and Agriculture & Food stages. Each startup had 5 minutes for their pitch. We had 2 great panels with valuable professionals from relative area sharing their ideas and discussing the future of each related industry.

In our third stage for day 2, Seedstars Istanbul participants pitched their startups for a chance to attend Seedstars World and many more great awards. Stroma Vision, Limantepe Tech – ImageRAD and Piri Guide were the winners of Seedstars Istanbul 2018. You can find more about participating startups and winners in Seedstars Istanbul website.

Take Off takes over main stage

Day 3 of Take Off Istanbul Summit was a joy for all of us. There was only one main stage for Take Off Istanbul Startup Summit, which has a bigger capacity then our previous stages. And that was the point: we were expecting attendance from curious enthusiasts who want to listen to great keynote speeches, panels that include government officials, directors from leading companies of the region, VCs, directors of accelerators and more.

We started the day with an inspiring speech from Selçuk Bayraktar, CTO of Baykar and Head of Board of Trustees of Turkey Technology Team. Then our panel on “The Role of Governments and International Organizations in Empowering Youth Entrepreneurship towards Sustainable Growth” started with attendance from valuable professionals such as Arda Ermut (President of Investment Support and Promotion Agency of Turkey) and H.E. Amb. Elshad Iskandarov (President of Islamic Conference Youth Forum for Dialogue and Cooperation).

… when we hear the president is coming to Take Off Istanbul stage.

Near the lunch break, we heard that President of the Republic of Turkey, Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, will present awards to the winners of Take Off Istanbul Startup Summit, himself (Later we learned that those were just rumours). After the lunch break break, the main stage of Take Off Istanbul was at full speed with wonderful keynote speeches by Kamran Elahian and Amr Awadallah. Unfortunately, due to our delayed programme, keynote speech of our valuable friend, Darius Moeini was canceled.

After keynote speeches, “Corporate Companies Inspiring Innovation” panel has started with the attendance of Kaan Terzioğlu (CEO of Turkcell) and Paul Doany (CEO of Turk Telekom). Again, due to our strict schedule, we merged 2 panels of “Venture Capitalists Predicting the Future” and “Startup Accelerators Disrupting Success” into one big panel.

After we completed our program, it was time to introduce winners of Take Off Istanbul Startup Summit to the audience. Our winners (which we will tell more about each in another blog post) got announced by Haluk Bayraktar (CEO of Baykar, Member of Board of Trustees of Turkey Technology Team), Selçuk Bayraktar (CTO of Baykar and Head of Board of Trustees of Turkey Technology Team) and M. Fatih Kacır (Deputy Minister of Industry and Technology, Republic of Turkey).

Geographically a bridge between Europe, Asia and Africa? Much more than that.

Some of our participants were pretty surprised to find that many startups gathered in Istanbul for a global startup event as currently, Istanbul is just a “promising” startup country. Recently there were a few huge (in Turkish standards) investments and exits happened in Turkish startup scene, but that was just the tip of the iceberg.

As Hackquarters, we aim to make Istanbul a hub for not only EMEA startup scene but also global startup scene as well. And we are not doing this just for the love of our country. Turkey is currently a land of opportunities where startup related expenses are almost free, compared to cities in our region. There is a huge room for growth in Istanbul with startup awareness increasing among students, corporations and public as well.

With Take Off Startup Summit, we were addressing the “Take Off” of startups involving in our event, but also we hope that this will be a “Take Off” for Turkish startup scene in general as well. With great opportunities such as the ones we mentioned before and government incentives, a lot of international startups are opening their Istanbul offices. And we are hoping to lure more and more startups to Istanbul.

Thank You! And we mean it!

We would like to thank every startup, speaker, panelist, investor, VC, corporate professional and people within startup scene who did generously devoted their precious time to Take Off Istanbul Startup Summit and honored us with their presence in Istanbul. We did our best to provide a great experience in Istanbul with valuable help from our friends here at Hackquarters, Turkey Technology Team and Invest in Turkey.

We will share winners of each category in separate posts. Keep following Hackquarters on our social media channels!

#hackquarters #startup #summit #social media

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dovesdeath · 4 years ago

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𝑙𝑢𝑐𝑖𝑒𝑛.

he woke drenched in sweat, grasping for the bed sheets and almost tearing into them as he shook with every inch of his body. nightmares haunt him still — of jesminda being murdered in front of him whilst he cannot do anything to save her, of being hunted by people he thought were his family, of never belonging, of being whipped by his best friend, of a female forcing herself onto him. most of the time, other people take his place. most of the time, he sees feyre, or vassa, or tamlin suffering his horrors. tonight it had been elain. elain getting tortured to death, being hunted and alone, whipped and humiliated. lucien rose out of bed and stumbled on his own feet whilst rushing to her bedroom with his breath stuck in his throat from the fear of what he might find laying in bed. but she is beautifully asleep and it pains him to wake her up. he allows himself to be selfish and when she invites him in her bed, lucien slips under the covers only a few inches away from her.

he grips the pillow under his head as he falls silent, eyes locked onto hers. the bridge between them glimmers and he lets his soul lean against it, yearning for comfort. “ nightmares, ” he starts quietly, almost ashamed to be disrupting the peace of her room with his horrors. “ you were in them. i wanted to check on you, see if you’re safe. ” it is just the tip of the iceberg, only a tease of what truly races through his mind. she need only ask and he will tell her of everything that he is scared of. “ it sounds ridiculous. i’m sorry. ” quick to dismiss the fear, he shuts his eyes.

NIGHTMARES. she knows how awful they can be , how they can twist and shape your thoughts into horrific scenes that she would wish on no one else to see. elain knows them all too well — knows the feeling of waking up in a dark room , overcome by fear because the terrors felt so real. “ it’s not ridiculous , lucien. ” she reaches forward within her mind to meet him in that connection , focusing all of her energy on sending feelings of comfort &. safety to him , whispering into the bond over and over that you are okay and i won’t let anything happen to you or me. the corners of her lips tug down into a frown , reaching out to snake a hand underneath his pillow — squeezing her hand to rest in the space between his open palm and the fabric of the pillow. she interlaces her fingers within his own , offering a gentle and reassuring squeeze.

SHE KNOWS BETTER than most she would imagine , but she knows the terrors that plague her at night must be different from what haunts him. nonetheless , she knows the feeling of waking up coated in your own sweat , thrashing and kicking into the darkness until she realizes she is in the safety of her bedroom and that she is not on the floor in hybern , she is not being hauled into the unforgiving cauldron again as she often dreams of. she cannot imagine how many times she’s probably unknowingly woken him up at night , wondering if her cries for help in her nightmares are sometimes sent to that connection between them without her even knowing. “ ... do you need to talk about it? ” there’s a brief pause , contemplating the idea that he might not want to talk to her about it , or not talk about it all. a grimace , before she’s parting her lips to speak again , “ if you’re comfortable with it , i’m more than willing to listen. it might help you feel better , ease your mind off of it. ”

ˏˋ⠀𑁍 @wratheart —- hurt / comfort sentence starters; “ i’m sorry to wake you up, but i really need someone to talk to. ” — lucien.

SHE COULD HEAR HER NAME LIKE A GENTLE SPRING BREEZE. it was soft and quiet , whispered into the air like a prayer. she heard his voice , felt his presence near --- smelled the very scent of cinnamon and campfire smoke she had come to recognize as lucien before she was even fully awake. she can feel his hands on her -- the calluses on the pads of his fingers resting gently , hesitantly , on her shoulder as he shakes her out of her sleep. she sits upright in bed , hands raised to rub at her eyelids , rapidly blinking as she adjusts to the darkness of the room.

the velaris sky pokes through the open spaces in the sheer curtains over the windows , starlight pouring in and cascading over him , casting a nearly ethereal glow on his hair &. over his metallic eye. “ there’s no need to apologize , really. ” elain is quick to offer a reassuring smile , shifting atop the bed to turn towards him , scooting backwards to make enough room for him to join her. she pats the empty space on the bed beside her , glancing back up to him -- smile never having faltered. “ what happened? are you okay? .. ”

#wratheart

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tatooedlaura-blog · 8 years ago

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Twenty-third Christmas

the series is as follows so far:

First … Second … Third … Fourth … Fifth … Fifth Christmas, Part 2 … Sixth … Seventh … Eighth … Ninth … Tenth … Eleventh … Twelfth … Thirteenth ... Fourteenth ... Fifteenth ... Sixteenth ... Seventeenth ... Eighteenth ... Nineteenth ... Twentieth ... Twenty-first ... Twenty-second ... Twenty-third

Here’s the last one … 23 chapters later … no idea it woud turn into this … and am totally glad it did :)

Thanks everyody who reblogged, noted, commented and tagged … you are all gods in my world and I appreciate you from the bottom of my soul :)

&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Sitting quietly on the couch, fire crackling on the hearth, wind whistling in the eaves, Mulder put his head back, nestling in beside Scully’s as she read something or other with a pastel cover and a beach scene and a faceless woman wearing a floppy hat, “hey, Scully?”

Patiently, she put her finger in her book to hold her spot, “yeah?”

“I want to decorate the hell out of this place.”

She couldn’t fight the smile that burst forth, “only you would use hell to describe Christmas.”

“Come on. I think Maggie would like us to do it up right, our first Christmas back together and in her house to boot. We can intermingle her stuff and our stuff and I can go buy stuff for the front yard and porch.” Having sank his teeth into the idea, it was now exploding in his head, visions of inflatable things and blinking lights and evergreen garland, pointsettas and pinecones and cinnamon-smelling potpourri boiling on the stove, “I mean, it’ll be the stuff of Christmas dreams!”

“Okay, you had me with your overuse of the word ‘stuff’ but then you rolled out the emphatic Christmas dreams ending and moved it right on into over-saccharined insanity.”

Shifting sideways, he pulled his leg up, the ever present Flab jumping on his lap while Dagoo looked on, comfy from his blanket near the heat of the fireplace, “look, even Flab appreciates my saccharine enthusiasm. Look at her. She’d dying to have you say yes because she wants her own Grinch costume and Dagoo needs a Rudolph nose.”

“I think Dagoo wants you to be quiet so he can keep napping.”

He saw the moment he won and grinning, “we should go shopping.”

“Yes, we should.” Will’s voice drifted down the stairs where he’d been listening rapturously, with both mind and ear, feeling his father’s win and his mother’s amusement. Coming down further and poking his head past the wall, “right now. The Uncles will love it when they come over for Christmas.”

“That’s right, Scully. We’re gonna have like 20 people here for two days. We owe it to them to make this completely Maggie Christmas worthy.”

Not about to deny Will or Mulder a damn thing ever in life, Scully stood up, holding her hand out to pull him with her then gesturing towards the fire, “put that out so we don’t burn the house down and we’ll go buy out the Christmas sections of everywhere.”

Will hooted, racing back upstairs for a sweatshirt, Mulder gave her a big, wet kiss on the cheek and did as told while Scully just giggled in happy glee.

&&&&&&&&&&&

When the Gunmen had shown up with Will on that bridge, the world didn’t end but began anew, saving Mulder, getting everyone back to the hospital, aiming a homemade and completely genius EMP handheld device at the hovering ship, sending it and its government fuckers as Frohike called them, away for long enough to get the gang safely away in the boat parked just below the bridge.

She’d saved the world but more importantly, she’d saved Mulder with the help of Will’s blood and her ability to completely compartmentalize the fact that her friends were alive and had been hiding her son from her for the past 16 years. Science kicked in, she brought human beings back from the brink of extinction and when it was all over, she screamed at the Gunmen for three minutes apiece then broke down, crying with her equally emotional son in her arms.

Eventually, over the course of the following three days, while the world was vaccinated, her and Mulder learned the story of the past decade and a half of the Gunmen and Will in abstentia. In the silence that hung around them when Frohike finished, Scully breathed out the largest sigh of relief in her entire, God-damned life and looked at her boy, “will you come home with me and be our son again … if you can ever forgive me?”

More crying ensued and an hour or three later, Will moved into the Unremarkable guest room, which was neither a guest room nor unremarkable anymore, given it had proudly been a resting spot for Maggie and would now be the home of her grandson. Within a few weeks, an agreement was floated between the six of them, Scully, Mulder and William moving into Maggie’s home while the Gunmen took over the farmhouse, the basement perfect for computer equipment, enough room for the three of them and the solitude to which they’d become accustom.

They came over three times a week for dinner to see their nephew.

&&&&&&&&&&

Shopping had never been so much fun. Both Mulder and Will had carts, racing down aisles in the local Wal-mart, doing their best not to steer into rows and nearly failing with regularity and hilarity combined. They called back and forth over tall things because, as Mulder put it, Scully was a short thing and needed to be kept track of. They debated icicle lights or fat LEDs for the front porch. They held up garish stockings and neon pink garland and giggled in unison at the metallic orange Christmas tree on display.

They ended up spending nearly all of Scully’s paycheck and she couldn’t have cared in the slightest.

Once back in the car, they stopped for Frosties, eating them while shivering their way home before finally pulling in the driveway and unloading Scully’s filled to the brim SUV. In typical teenage boy fashion, Will informed them that since he was out of school for Christmas break and had absolutely no reason to get up early in the morning, he would like to start the decorating now.

Mulder couldn’t think of one reason to argue and Scully gave them an approving smile, “why don’t you two start and I’ll go make the hot chocolate.”

&&&&&&&&&

It took until the next evening to finish, sleep finally taking the three of them down around two a.m. and lasting until noon. By that night, however, the only thing left were the Christmas trees, standing bare on either side of the fireplace, Maggie’s on the left and theirs on the right. William sat between them, boxes of ornament surrounding his crossed legs, lids off, treasures waiting patiently to be hung. “So, Scullly, would it be better to mix all the ornaments or would you like to keep them separate? Maggie’s on Maggie’s and ours on ours?”

She couldn’t give him a definite answer through the tears suddenly streaming down her cheeks.

Mulder’s heart cracked and with his own eyes damp, he pulled her into a hug, “I think we should mix ‘em all up. I have a feeling Maggie’d like it that way; she’d know that we’re really back together for good this time because, I mean, nothing says steadfast togetherness like mixing the mother-in-law’s holiday decorations in with our own.”

Scully laughed against his shirt, wiggling one arm from her hold on him to ruffle through their son’s hair, “what do you think, Will? Mix or separate?”

“Already mixing, mom, so the question is moot.” He had his own small box on his lap from which he was pulling homemade things, a popsicle-sticky, glittery, shiny, gluey, messy, intricate, woven, carved assortment of historically significant baubles he’d made with the Gunmen over the years. He lay them out on the rug, “we should keep taking one from each pile, nine ornaments each, put them on one tree then do the same for the other. We’ll have an even distribution that way or at least as even as we’ll be able to get given I don’t know your ornament count but we’ll make do.” The silence that hung above him made him look up to see his father shaking his head in befuddlement and his mother about to burst into laughter, “what?”

Mulder nudged Scully with his elbow, “he is totally your kid.”

Pointing to one of Will’s ornaments, “he made a green sequin alien head. He’s both of ours.”

Will held the alien head up to Mulder, “I sure am.”

&&&&&&&&&&&&

It took most of the evening to hang 78 years worth of bulbs and memories, backstories being told for most, Will curious and open, questioning, commenting, loving the fact that he had a history, that he had a family with a history, that he was a part of that history. It was only when they’d finished that Scully suddenly realized, “if these are the things you made with your Uncles, what are they putting up on their Christmas tree?”

Will grinned, “I was confined to a building with them for 15 years, I made so many things that they’ll never miss what I took and besides, they wanted to give me more to bring home but I knew they wanted to keep a lot of it so believe me when I say, these aren’t even the tip of the iceberg … but I need to crash now so g’night and I’ll see you in the morning.” Giving both of them the long hugs they all needed all the time lately, he disappeared upstairs, leaving his parents to their standing and hugging and enjoying and occasional quick kissing.

Before anything got out of hand, Mulder pulled away from her, “I’ve got a gift for you.”

Because after several decades she was sure she knew what it was, she sat down, ready and waiting, grin on and hand out. Seeing her once he came back in the room, he chuckled, “no more surprising you is there?”

“Nope.” Waving her fingers in a hand it to me motion, “gimme.”

Laughing louder now, he sat down beside her, “it’s actually a two-fold gift. Here’s number one.” Opening the plain box, she found, resting quietly on the bed of cotton, the quarter necklace she had found in her mother’s possessions at the hospital, chain gone, Christmas hook attached. Before she could utter more than a small, confused, “Mul-,” he stopped her with a hand to the knee, “I know what that quarter is.”

She’d been wondering since the moment she found it, in the items envelope at her mother’s bedside, “how?”

“I gave it to her. Well, actually, she gave it to me. Back then, it was just a quarter from her purse but she gave it to me the night I met her, the night you were abducted by Barry. I was standing there, lost and confused and angry and scared out of my mind and I had to go do something, anything, just … find you. She’d watched me throw my cellphone at the wall at one point, frustrated as hell that no one was doing anything immediately, all talking and thinking instead of finding. Once I’d decided I needed to do something myself, she stopped me and gave me a quarter and told me to call her if I heard anything, regardless of time or information.” Stopping for a deep breath, he continued in a whisper, “I didn’t find anything out to call and tell her but I kept the quarter in my pocket anyway, holding it and hoping I’d need to use it soon. Eventually I got … we got you back but I kept the quarter anyways. I saw it as kind of my good luck charm at that point but then Maggie yelled at me and put me in my place for running with you so I had the quarter made into a necklace and I gave it back to her, telling her she’d never need a quarter to call me because we’d never be that far away again.”

Scully had been turning it over and over in her fingers, holding, spinning, twirling absently while she listened. When Mulder fell silent, she looked up at him, confusion still evident, “why didn’t you tell me when I found it or years ago, really?”

“Don’t be mad but it was a Maggie and me thing. It was ours. Our link. Our … connection to each other that was just ours. I never really had anything like that with my mother and …” now going sheepish on her, ducking his head, “I didn’t want to share it in case we went our separate ways. I didn’t want you to think of anything of your mom’s with a bad taste. I guess I figured a mystery was better than anger.”

Completely appreciating the logic, she first kissed his cheek, then kissed the quarter, dangling it in front of them, smiling through her ever-present tears, “I love it and the story and regardless of what may happen in the future, I’ve always loved you and always will so you don’t have to worry about that. I do however, wonder why you’re telling me now.”

“Because that was my last secret from you forever. I wanted everything out there when you got your second gift.” Reaching under the couch, he slid out a larger box, perfect size for a round bulb, “Merry Christmas part two.”

With that quizzical eyebrow he so very much loved to the ends of the Earth, he watched her open the box to a clear ornament, a piece of parchment paper rolled inside it, a handful of iridescent confetti heaped underneath it. Carefully unscrewing the sphere, she withdrew the paper, unrolling it carefully, reading intently then shaking her head in wonder, reading a second time just to be sure.

Once she looked up at him, eyes filled with twinkling amazement, he tossed the confetti in the air, covering them both, “so, will you be there?”

Her affirmative answer came in the form of her climbing eagerly onto his lap, straddling him, hugging him tightly as she whispered her, “I could never be anywhere else,” as she clutched her wedding invitation in her hand, the date printed as December 26, the time 2pm, the place being their front room.

“Gonna change your name? Let me make an honest Mulder out of you?”

As she kissed him once more behind the ear before shifting sideways, sliding down next to him, legs still akimbo around his thighs, “I was thinking more about Fox Scully. What do you say?”

Before he could answer, Will’s voice called down to them, in that uncanny way he had with timing, “I’m best man, right?”

Scully buried her head in his neck while he called back up to his son, “of course but you may have to battle it out with Frohike.”

“Naw, we’ll just tell him he’s Gunmen of Honor. He can be on mom’s side.”

“G’night, Will.”

“Night, Mom.”

Turning her attention back to her finally, very near future husband, “Merry Christmas, Mrs. Mulder.”

“Merry Christmas, Mr. Scully.”

#christmas series #my writing #msr #william scully #lone gunmen #maggie scully #that damn quarter necklace #txf fanfic #xfiles fanfic

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