#the brain damage i have is severe

[c-0f-chaos]

The other day, I was walking around a store when I got out of my thoughts because a weird equipment thing was in my path, as soon as I saw it my brain just went:

My mind: This is x shape-

OFF is officially living rent-free in my mind, and I can't stop it

[kekkuda]

this project is gonna be the death of me it is never ending but I’m locking in we ball

[elviraaxen]

I'm probably not the first to admit this but goddamn was I a narcissistic prick when I wasn't on stimulants

[decompose1]

the support for "ugly" neurodivergents leaving people's body when they meet someone with a cognitive disability:

[tevintersnakes]

He walked straight into the lions den and now he's paying for it. Walked in under prepared, and so caught up in his own plans that he neglected to account for how dangerous a place it would be he'd find himself. He should of listened to Arcade. He should of avoided all contact with the legion. Yet here he stands in the tent of Caesar staring down the man who once shot him in the head. Ordered to choose this mans fate. Disparaged for a lack of blood lust when he'd proposed freeing him.

The concealed 22. in his coat feels like it's weighing him down. The 'machete' that's more lawnmower blade that's in his hand- ill-fitting for a physician. He's running through his options. He doesn't want to kill Benny, but... two attack dogs. Five praetorians. Caesar himself. Two other high ranking legion officers... Another guard, another dog, both waiting outside with his friend and robot.

He feels ill. He's overheating. The ground is uneven. Every imperfection of the wrappings around the machete dig into his hand. There is no winning a fight here.

'Close your eyes if you want to.' 'Make it clean.' 'I shall.'

Despite his best efforts - It takes 16 strikes.

16 strikes. Followers coat now drenched in blood. He looks back to Caesar and wonders whether he looks as bloodthirsty as he was asked to be, or simply as terrified as he feels.

[sincetheducksleft]

I respect this man and his one-sided beef with his audience so much

[chadillacboseman]

Does Jesse feel love? Like is he capable of it?

This is an interesting question that requires a complex answer, so I apologize for the rambling.

Jesse suffered from severe head trauma as a teenager when he was in a car accident. This accident gave him a traumatic brain injury and resulted in a trigger of borderline personality disorder and damage to his anterior insular cortex when blood buildup put pressure on the area. Part of Jesse's skull is artificial due to this accident. Add in long tours overseas while in the Marines that gave him PTSD and, well, you've got a lot going on.

Jesse struggles with empathizing with others, but I would not say he's entirely devoid of empathy. He does not care about most people he meets, not because he sees them as 'pawns' or targets for manipulation, but rather he just...does not see them at all. Sometimes he sees himself as an outsider and is jealous of those who have support systems or loved ones. Losing his brother, his one steadfast tether to normalcy and structure, was a big trigger for him. Jesse now stands as the last of the Geller line, and he is painfully aware of his own mortality. Hence the Malleus exoskeleton, the constant upgrades to his forces, and the hunger for money. He will do anything to prolong his mortal life and his seat at the top of the food chain.

I wouldn't even call him a narcissist, because he certainly is not. He isn't surprised when he experiences consequences (just angry, usually), and while he can be charming, he hates doing it and, again, can struggle finding the will to empathize with the target of it.

Now, as for the love question-

Jesse loved his brother and his parents, certainly, but his love looks a little different than one might expect. He feels very strong waves of emotion that oscillate wildly to different ends of the spectrum. Anger is his most common and easily triggered- he is prone to blackout periods during which he cannot remember his whereabouts or his actions for extended periods of time. The rigid structure of the military and his brother's command of RCMG gave him outside control that helped keep him in check; that coupled with a medication regimen that Jason heavily enforced, gave him some regulation of his emotions and behavior. Jason's death made him lose all of that, and now he's been thrust into command of a massive private military operation and he is the control, which is ...not working out.

Jesse's love might look like an obsessive devotion, a willingness to kill for someone, but a constant fear of being left alone that just might piss him off or cause him to become paranoid and accusatory. It might look like an all-consuming fixation that eats at him until it is unbearable. Or, he might just love someone 'normally' (whatever that means lol) depending on the circumstances surrounding his life at the time.

All of this is to say: his injuries and disorders do not excuse his fucked up behavior. He is very aware of the fact that what he's doing is wrong, though his victim complex is still quite strong. He knows he should take his medication. He knows he should try to enforce structure in his life and get his shit together.

He does not want to.

Jesse does also have a sadistic streak, which you can glimpse in a few of my works of him. People who he perceives as having wronged him in some way are often on the receiving end of whatever pain he can cause them. He likes to wield fear as a weapon, and nothing instills fear in your enemies and your own men quite like murder. Remorse doesn't often come to him for these acts, because, in his mind, he was wronged first. It's his right to take his pound of flesh (or litre of blood).

Thank you for listening to my rambling.

[samuraisharkie]

*homer simpson voice* Marge I think I have brain damage

[delusionalblfan]

at this point i lost complete notion of what they are doing as individuals and as couples/pairings/whatever. and yet i keep going with the flow

[shoechoe]

Oh yeah last night I had a dream where i watched a magical girl anime that was like... madoka magica but not and it was mildly interesting tbh

[strainedgeek]

going to a grad party my mom's actually this will never be not funny to me because she's a law graduate at 47 and I'm a uni dropout at 25 but that's a story for another time

[dredshirtroberts]

you know, this morning my agenda for the day was cleared. I thought up some errands to take care of tomorrow in one fell swoop, and then it turned out I was gonna get a buddy and the opportunity to take care of about half of it today which, baller, am i right? Plan is to get back out tomorrow at some point and take care of the rest of it and once my brain catches up that the hardest of the trips is out of the way, we'll be set lol

[sonicattos]

genuinely don’t think i should have to apologize for this, but i’m very sorry about old requests that i have not drawn. drawing is hard and painful (physically and mentally) please don’t be pushy with me. it’s never a guarantee that i’m gonna do your request. i WILL answer a non-art ask as soon as i can. not saying you can’t request, but don’t go in thinking you’re 100% of the time gonna get a free doodle. i’m a human person with feelings and emotions.

[glsneeg-enthusiast]

you think they get loopy when showfall fucks with their brains without using the masks. like it seems like theyre high after

[toyhousedramas]

this will be hypocritical of me to say because i'm on anon, but people are so fucking spineless. the whole "don't harass maws! even though he's scammed a shit ton of people out of tens of thousands of dollars. be respectful to the scammer! use his preferred angel-themed neopronouns that totally don't feed into his inflated entitled ego and delusion that he's an angel who does no wrong or else you're an xyz-phobe. also he has 'severe memory loss' which is definitely genuine and not an excuse for when his victims turn on him for ignoring their dms about their unrefunded 10 month long $600 commission that never came into fruition so be respectful to hymn 😊" holy fuck. why are we supposed to care about the scammer's widdle feelings getting hurt? he's lucky people are too scared of minor repercussions to do something that has real repercussions like doxxing him (not promoting this just bringing it up) or getting him arrested irl for theft. guarantee you that's why he hasn't left toyhouse, a site full of younger users that are afraid of getting into trouble.

and wouldn't you know it, he hasn't stopped stealing hundreds each from people, ban evading, remaking payment accounts on paypal and boosty after getting reported, reselling his already sold adopts, or deleting every single comment on his page that isn't kissing his ass so he can hide what he's been doing. he still has premium and everything. NOTHING bad has happened to him. when there are no true punishments, there is no change in behavior. maws is a piece of shit and knows he won't get punished for any of this until someone finally takes things a step further. i don't advocate for harassment just like anyone else, but when someone COMMITS A CRIME it shouldn't be so fucking reprehensible to push back and ACTUALLY solve a problem. thankfully a handful of the scammed users have filed chargebacks and gotten their money back that way, but this still isn't enough to stop maws from getting more money from people that are ignorant to his theft and resells.

partial link to one of the beware posts for maws (there are a few): 468903.psacallout-to-angelmawsmaws?page=1

.

[femvaylin]

Been looking at the clock for like two hours and every time I'm like "man I can't believe it's 8pm already" IT'S FUCKING NOT THE CLOCK IS STOPPED AND IT'S BEEN STOPPED SINCE 8AM THIS MORNING