#the boys brain rot is still so real in these streets | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

asuyaka · 1 year ago

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Eyyy it's been a while since I've requested anything, and since I'm back to my JJK brain rot how about a good old request for my favorite dead divorced gay couple?(how are we copin', manga readers?)

So idk if you've ever seen or heard of the "Missing Halloween" animation on YouTube, BUT--

What if satosugu found out that Reader(who they were very close with) was actually the spirit of an past special grade student that died in a mission by the hands of curse users (maybe they raided the school or something, idk it's like- 1AM in here my brain will not remember all the shit that happens in the JJK lore to make a coherent plot point) and now just roams around near the school, and that explains why everyone just seemingly ignored Reader's presence completely and gave the three weird looks whenever they hung out together. Also I like to think that these two idiots found out about reader's situation after fooling around during detention and accidentally tripping on some dusty old boxes that had some old stuff in it, finding one of those group school year pics from when Yaba was the boys' age and Reader was also in the pic from when they were still alive.

In much simpler words, Satosugu x ghost!reader that they didn't knew was a ghost until they found a picture of Reader's academic years.

-🌈, Anon.

★ - JJK brainrot 's so real f' me too !! (Satosugu once 'm get m grubby lil hands on you... >:(( )

☆ - Satosugu x Ghost! Reader !!

♡ - 's nice ta see you again, 🌈 nony !! ヾ(^▽^*))) hope you're doin' well <33 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ | 'm have seen Missing Halloween! made me s'sad (◞‸◟；) but s sooo bittersweet! m nota huuugee animation fan, but Missing Halloween 's one of m favs! (๑≧▽≦)

Being a ghost is interesting, to put it simply.

You get to see things you never got the chance to when you were alive, like the top of Mount Fuji and the vast streets of Shibuya. Sure, you missed what it was like to eat your favorite food or speak to people, but it's the price you have to pay for your naivety.

You thought you'd be alone, wandering the hallways of Jujutsu High forever until they came.

Geto Suguru and Gojo Satoru.

The strongest sorcerers in the modern era.

Shock is an emotion you haven't felt since your death, but you feel it again when you notice that those two can not only see but touch you.

It's an odd feeling. Having someone touch your skin after years (it's only been two) of being dead. Weird, but nice.

"Suguru, back me up here!" Satoru whines, holding his friend by his shoulders and shaking him back and forth.

You and Satoru were arguing about which ice cream flavor was the best. Granted, you haven't had ice cream —or any food for that matter— in a long time, but there was no way you would let Satoru get away with saying Birthday Cake.

"This is your argument, and I like Vanilla." Suguru shrugs and the betrayed look on Satoru's face causes you to giggle.

Satoru turns to face you, chest out and voice boisterous. "Well, [Name], since we can't agree, I guess that means we'll have to go to an ice cream store to find out!

Suguru's face turns blank. "Where in that argument did going to an ice cream place happen?"

"Right now, duh." You huff, rolling your eyes dramatically.

"No, guys, I don't have money, and I'm not taking you dumbasses to an ice cream place at this hour." Suguru's voice is stern; like there's no room for back-and-forth bickering.

You three were now at a small ice cream shop a few minutes away from Jujutsu High.

You tried not to talk to Suguru and Satoru much, so to bystanders it wouldn't look like they were talking to literal air, but they didn't get the hint and kept talking to you anyway.

Sometimes you wonder if they even know you're a ghost.

The way Satoru uses you as a headrest (you're putting spiders in his bed tonight) and how Suguru tends to maintain eye contact when he talks to you (earning a couple of odd stares from some in the store), you’re 99.9% sure they think you’re a real person.

Which you are, obviously, but you’re only technically real to them. Why that is, you aren’t exactly sure yourself.

Before you three get to the counter, you make up a fake excuse of having to use the bathroom. You tell them the flavor you want, make sure Satoru doesn’t do anything weird, and order the flavor with the most sugar (you aren’t 100% sure if you can even eat but it’s worth trying) before you excuse yourself.

You make your way to the roof, sitting on the edge and looking out into the city. It’s calming.

You’ve always enjoyed how relaxing it was to be able to see people going about their lives, the soft breeze sounding through your ears accompanied by the smell of ice cream and bread from nearby stores.

It’s nice.

From the corner of your eye, you spot Suguru and Satoru sitting at an outside table. They were talking amongst each other as they presumably waited for you, an empty spot only held by a cup of ice cream filled with your favorite flavor.

You drop down at the back of the store, brushing the dust off your body and making your way to where Suguru and Satoru are sitting.

“Jeez! Took you long enough.” Satoru rolls his eyes and immediately starts eating his ice cream.

Suguru rolls his eyes. His posture is the same as always, a man spread and his arms crossed only breaking whenever he needs to eat his ice cream as well.

Huffing, you kick Satoru underneath the table. Blowing a raspberry before taking a bite of the ice cream.

Good news, you can eat.

Bad news, you don’t taste a single thing.

Well… they don’t need to know that. They’re having fun, your inability to taste shouldn’t spoil that for them.

“Satoru, Yaga’s going to kill us if he finds us, you know?” Suguru huffs, keeping watch as Satoru looks through the yearbook of past students in Jujutsu High.

“Oh, hush!” Satoru kicks him in the knee, gasping when he finds a book tucked away behind several (thankfully sleeping) cursed corpses.

Satoru grins. “Found one.”

Suguru takes one final glance at the hallway before turning to see what Satoru dragged him here for in the dead of night (or early in the morning depending on the way you look at it).

They flip through the yearbook, snickering when they see what Yaga looked like two years ago. His buzz is shorter — if that’s even possible — but he still has his stone-cold resting face.

They make it to the back of the book, where there’s a special section dedicated to students who died before the year is over.

Really, Satoru was looking for what [Name] looked like when he was younger. He’s suspected you were older than the two of them since he never sees you during school.

“Satoru… is– is that…?” Suguru’s voice is weary as his finger points at a photo of some dude he recognizes.

A boy he recognizes.

It’s your picture, you look the same as you do now. “What’s he doing here? We see him all the time– right Suguru?”

Suguru pales. “Is that why Shoko calls us crazy? [Name] isn’t alive—”

“Yes, he is!” Satoru almost yells. The book drops from his hands with a thump! small colors of blue peeking out from the bottom of his sunglasses.

“We can touch him, we can see him!” Satoru stomps his foot. “How is that possible if he’s dead, huh?!”

“He might be a cursed sp—”

“Then the curse alarm would’ve sounded!” Satoru’s voice sounds like it’s tethering over an edge. He’s confused– he’s known [Name] for as long as his first year, you, him, and Suguru are inseparable so why can Suguru accept the fact that you’re (supposedly) dead?!

“Let’s ask him then, is that okay?” Suguru puts his hand directly on Satoru’s shoulder, moving his thumb slightly for comfort.

The albino takes a deep breath to calm himself. He shouldn’t be mad at Suguru, he loves Suguru.

So, he does what Suguru says. He lets Suguru lead the way to where they found you the first time. Close to the artifact warehouse but closer to the forest that surrounds Jujutsu High.

You’re there. Sitting on the grass as you stare longingly at a bird.

The sound of rocks crunching under their feet must give them away because in a second you lock eyes with Suguru, a soft smile on your face.

“Suguru!” Your voice is warm– comforting even. “What are you guys doing here? Aren’t you guys breaking curfew?”

“Are you dead?”

Satoru’s blunt question causes your body to freeze. He sounds angry. Maybe it’s because you didn’t tell them that you were a ghost, and they somehow found out themselves.

You weren’t all that popular when you were alive. You were an adequate sorcerer with mediocre abilities. Nothing that puts you out there– not like the two in front of you anyway.

“Y-Yeah?” You avert your eyes sheepishly. “I mean, I died a few years ago so—”

“Why didn’t you tell us anything?” Satoru cuts you off, the hand still holding Suguru’s tightens slightly.

Why didn’t you tell them? Because they’d stop hanging out with you? Were you scared you’d lose the only people who know you’re still technically here?

Because you’re bound to this school and have only ever left because your attachment somehow shifted to Satoru and Suguru.

Ah, that’s why.

You were scared to be left alone. That’s why every time you could, you’d rush over to where they were. Engage in conversation with them, and do mildly illegal things with them because they make you feel wanted.

“I guess… I was scared you two would stop hanging out with me..?” You let out a laugh even though nothing is funny. “You two are the only people who know I still exist, so I thought if you figured out I was a ghost…”

“— that we’d stop talking to you altogether?” Suguru finishes for you and you can’t help but nod.

“That’s stupid! We fight curses, why do you think being a ghost is going to stop anything?!” Satoru grabs you by the shoulder. You’re sure his grip hurts, but you can’t exactly feel pain anymore.

“Yeah, I know…” Your hand touches Satoru’s forearm. “Now that you know… it doesn’t change anything between us… right?”

The longer the silence stretches the more anxiety swallows you whole. If they stop talking to you or start avoiding you, you aren’t sure what you’ll be bound to.

Maybe that spot by the artifact warehouse. You’ll be forced to stay there– alone, with no one to talk to, no one to make you feel alive.

“Of course, not.” Suguru’s voice is warm, it makes something well up in your eyes.

“Sure, it might be weird since sorcerers can’t see you, but you’re our friend. You just have to promise not to keep life-altering secrets from us. Right, Satoru?”

Satoru huffs, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes. ��You owe me, stupid ghost boy!”

A smile stretches across your face and you’re unaware of the warmth rolling down your cheeks. “I’m glad.”

You won’t be alone.

You’ll be able to talk to them, now that they know your biggest secret.

You’ll have Satoru and Suguru, and they’ll have you.

Maybe being dead– or being a ghost isn’t so bad after all.

#writin' shit.#ANSWERED LETTERS—009 #jjk x male reader #male reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojo x male reader #geto x male reader #geto suguru #gojo satoru #suguru x male reader #satoru x male reader #x male reader #jjk #satosugu x reader #satosugu x male reader #🌈: anon!

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fungusgnat444 · 4 months ago

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“König being desperate for escort reader :(“ It might be the hottest thing I've ever read

well shit girlie here’s a part two… ily x hope you enjoy (sorry this took me so long)NSFW, angst kinda?, desperate touch starved König, he’s kinda subby hehe, afab fem reader, sugar daddy/pay pig shit if you squint, mentions of anxiety and poor self worth, implied size difference, oral f receiving, piv sex (no mentions of protection but always wrap it up y’all), begging, no german apart from schatz, big pp, decryphilia kinda? (He cries because you taste good lol), i think thats it. Let me know if i missed anything

this man is so stupid and obsessed with you it would honestly be annoying if he didn’t spoil you. You’d be lying if you said he wasn’t your favourite client but there’s only so many times he can burst into tears at the sight of a hickey another client left on you before it gets annoying. As soon as his dumb cock is buried in between your plush tits he forgets all about it immediately. Now he’s crying for a different reason. Speaking of which once he’s comfortable with you this poor boy cries a lot. Weather it’s because he’s over stimulated himself from desperately fucking you like he’ll die if he doesn’t fill you little cunt immediately or he’s feeling sorry for himself, you could probably fill a bathtub with his tears at this point :(

although he feels extremely guilty about it he has started stalking you. It started out innocently (not really he’s just delusional), just checking that you’re safe of course. Spying on you with his binoculars on the rooftop across the street. Only to make sure the client you’re with isn’t hurting you (he’s so stupid). You almost wanted to kill that bastard when he started leaving you gifts on your doorstep, but something about his antics was strangely endearing. You knew at least partly why he was like this. Picking up on little clues each time he vented to you with his head on your chest while you play with his hair. He’d joined the military so young doesn’t exactly give you much opportunity to meet women, the few woman he did work with wouldn’t look twice at him because of his reputation and even if they did he wouldn’t be interested. Unlike most of the men he worked with he had enough professional respect for these women to ever let anything happen. No matter how lonely he got :(. That’s not the only reason he doesn’t know how to interact with women. The glass case filled with war hammer figurines and frankly absurd looking gaming pc setup in his living room told you that he wasn’t exactly popular with the girls when he was younger either. The moment he first got his hands on your body you knew he had barely any experience. Not that you minded, if anything it made it feel more real. Not like most of your clients who just wanted to blow off some steam; he needed this. The desperation in his eyes, his frantic, shaky hands running all over your body like he thinks you’ll leave at any moment and of course he’s just so desperate to hear you say you want it. To know you like him this way, needy. You like it when he begs, when he thanks you, when he’s so lost he can barely speak, he knows you do. He’ll beg for anything, even if he just gets to watch you play with yourself, he just wants to see you cross eyed and breathless, clinging to him for support. Getting so desperate you start begging. Turning into him; pathetic and whiny.

(I know this is pretty different to the first part. Brain rot took over. Hope you still like it. Kinda enjoyed writing könig this way and fleshing out the character a bit so I might turn it into a lil series if anyone shows interest xoxo)

#konig #cod konig #konig call of duty #konig headcanons #konig imagine #konig x you #cod mw2 #konig cod #konig fanfiction #konig mw2

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fuckentoastybitch · 6 months ago

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TOXIC_RAP.mp3

All the bros have had a go on this flow

So I thought, no, it's my turn

I'm gonna give someone a chance to strike a pose

On this beat like Jojo's

God only knows when this beat feels right

Oh, but it still goes hype when played at night

And now I could cut the tension with a knife

Bottle of absinthe on the shelf

Take a sip. Or twelve

Slip into alcoholic dove and fill the slick and shit

Let's drink till our blood levels turn toxic

Bust out the Bacardi and rum

Drink shots to the sound of a starting gun

Slam drinks back a little hardy and run

What bar should we start at for fun?

So here we are, back again

Will this guy put down his pen?

I have a phone. It's terminology

2023, we have the technology with the new LP

Us boys are all running free

Who the fuck are we meant to be?

A man who's on a legacy?

So I'll make this easy

Nice and speedy

No drinks here with antifreeze

No drinks to sneeze at

Only squeeze in my glass, please

Till I feel queasy

Shot, shot, shot, shot

Cans and bottles, that's your lot

Drink till you lost the plot. Brain rot

Drink till the fives out of ten look hot

Give her the sex, don't call me a miser

She drinks apple cider, came inside her (note: FUCKING WILD)

Back in the room making noise

For gangs of people who enjoys

Acting like tough men, one of the boys

Whilst packing heat at the treat like toys

Arrive on the scene with my team

Looking mean

stacks of green

Feeling preen

We careen to the bar

Smooth like a dream

Dressed up smarter, cash pro rata

Back to the tinnies, crack her lager

Make some bread, not stored in a larder

Spend on brands, devil wears Prada

Committing sins, corporate greed

Take lunch money, mouse to feed

Pop a lock, finally freed

Fuck the lager, grab the mead

Downing honey, busy bees

Send that bottle, what a breeze

Twenty percent proof I'm on my knees

I think I'll try another bottle of that, please

So give me the vodka, that's not what I meant

But a label says that it's forty percent

Would've drank that until the same gents

Started kissing threes whilst pitching a tent

So moving on

Brandy next

Had two shots for the flex

Already looking round for the next

Throw that money, bounce some checks

Cards maxed out, I'm resigned

So let's see what other drinks can I find

Hey there, babe, if you're inclined

Buy me a drink if you don't mind

Rap to the beat on the edge

You see I'm making a splash like Latino heat

So lie, cheat, steal, for real

Grabbing snacks for the main meal

Hidden agenda, big reveal

Cost quite dear and I don't mean veal

Take my chances on my own

Life switched on, not monochrome

We'll take one more for monotone

One last drink before crawling home

Sorry if this topic's over the line

But I like to sit down and write some time

Take some notes

Filling some blanket back with a nice little hobby of mine

After party, rinse and repeat

Wobble around as I find my feet

Party spills onto the street

Now where the hell did I leave my seat?

[Interlude]

Search continues

Bottles fizz

It's around here somewhere

Oh there it is!

Back into it while the beat still goes

Why is it silent?

God only knows!

This song keeps you on your toes

I (should?) see the rapping to the pros

I'm going to woo with flair.

Rick, get me in there

DJ Eric, Eric, death stare

Never mind I don't care

Glare at the back of my head

Wishing the beat was dead

I'm going to invite another guy

Instead of the shit Brit with wit

Looking round for street cred

So hello. Hi.

I'm the one whose lexicon is next to none

Because I'm sitting in a quiet corner

Bouncing off the walls like Yak and Warner

From episode one on TV screens

Across the West and scream dad jokes loud from the chest

The only one in the smoking section

Using a party blow that he kept inside his vest

Objectives announced the fleece

Will this nonsense ever cease?

Feeling relief on the brand new release

Making a move so I'm off now, peace

#seekL #mikeyoungVO #idk if thats a tag lol #odxny #xyx #i am genuinely obsessed with this #its embarrassing how often i listen to it #i srsly i love his voice sm #the talent is everything #its really just xyx's fault tbh #p.s. im not a drinker or a night out gal AT ALL so i didnt know like half of these drinking related terms jsdhfjsh #ALSO i wonder how long it'll take until someone make an animatic of xyx and/or od to this cause that'll be gold

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p0plotte · 1 year ago

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Wanderer of The Stars

Real Men - Mitski

—•—

Real men dont need other people. Real men dont cry. Real men dont flinch, dont get scared, dont show any of their emotions. Instead of wearing their heart on their sleeves they cover them up with pretty foundation and pretend everything is okay while their brain is slowly rotting over time.

That’s what he needs to remind himself of while trenching down the path to his destiny. In the end, he was fully aware he was truly just a pawn. To Nephele, to Mingxia, to Asmodeus- and worst of all, to Ciel.

While he still had his conciousness he needed to keep his composure. Be a real man. Be something truly impeccable. So then when the children of the streets see him they’ll feel pride- they’ll feel adoration, instead of a miserable pity for a sad boy with the self esteem of a bag of rocks.

Ciel Apocalypse. No.4. His higher up by one rank. He only wished he could tear him down, yet he was still so far out of his reach. But he.. he could just smell something fishy. He knew something was going down behind the scenes. Though no one would listen. He paged No.2 for his help, yet he hadn’t heard back from him. He’d paged Mingxia-

No response.

Maybe everything was in his head.

As he leaned against the lamppost of a dimly lit street he held a hand over his mouth. Deep breaths. In and out. Don’t let anyone see your vulnerability. You need to be strong, no matter the visions you’ve had.

Visions. A cursed thing passed onto him of all people, for some reason he’d been given the role of an oracle, even though he didnt desire to possess it. It should’ve gone to No.2.. not him. Why was he stuck with the visions of terrible tragedies?

The scenes of the future.. that he couldnt quite piece together.

“Damn..”

——•——

Little boys cry. They let all their emotions out, whether in a healthy way or not.

Staring down at the rose engraved casing he felt a little sick. Inside lied his older sister.. Mingxia. Even when soulless, she was still beautiful as ever.

His head was still spinning.. everything was just too loud. Even the silence was too loud. His grip on Meguri’s hand tightened as they stood in said silence.

They had come to the church north of the cafe he’d run into her at. With their luck, it was all rundown. But.. he guessed that made it a good place to keep his sister. Would she really be alright here though?..

And just like that, tears began streaming down his cheeks once more. Too many thoughts all at once caused him to panic all over again.

He felt helpless.

Brown strands of hair fell over Meguri’s eyes as she stared down at the body of such an elegant woman. Now encased in glass under a cross.

From leaving a bakery to entering a church with a shaken little boy and his near dead sister.. it was a lot. Though she wasnt processing much, she still felt when he cried.

She squeezed his hand firmly, rubbing circles with her thumb to attempt to soothe him. This was before she gave in and wrapped her arms around the boy.

“It’s all gonna be okay.. I’m sure of it. Let it all out…” She hummed, “There there..”

“Do you think s-she’ll wake up?..”

“I.. don’t know.. I’m sorry..”

“..Okay..”

——•——

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looooooooomis · 3 years ago

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FINAL GIRL | FIVE

You were his final girl. And there was no chance in hell that anyone or anything was going to mess that up.

p a r t five | t h e c a b i n (part I)

masterlist here

pairing: Billy Loomis x f!reader word count: 5.6k (I’M SORRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY) warnings: s m u t (18 +!!!!!)

A/N: after 8 months of MIA, SHE’S BACK BABY!!! this is part 1 of 2 of our fav couple being at the cabin x next chapter will have soft moments I promise lmao

You should have been paying more attention.

If you’d been paying more attention, you wouldn’t have had five sets of eyes currently watching your every move, waiting for an answer you didn’t have. Why had you thought it was a good idea to stay up as late as you had packing your overnight bag for the cabin? If you had gone to bed at a reasonable hour, you wouldn’t have been as braindead as you currently were and, if you hadn’t been braindead, you wouldn’t have wound up in whatever ring of hell you were currently stuck in as your friends stared at you as though you’d grown a second head.

You pleaded with your tongue to say anything, pleaded for your brain to register a decent enough lie to make this uncomfortable silence end but nothing came out of your mouth. Only a pathetic hum and a gusto of forced laughter.

You wanted to die.

It should have been an easy enough answer to what was an even easier question. One that you’d practiced answering for the last two days and yet, as the moment for the lie came and went, you were left scrambling like a fucking moron.

You didn’t dare look at Billy as Sid curled into his side knowing if you managed to catch his coffee-coloured stare, you’d only be met with something between terror and amusement as you royally shit the bed. So, instead, you did the next best thing. You replayed the question over and over again in your head until you were driven mad.

‘Are you up for a movie this weekend?’

It was a simple enough question, one you’d managed to decline easily enough but, as Tatum frowned and asked the one question you were expecting to hear, your mind went blank.

‘Why? What are you doing?’

The answer you were supposed to say: I have to babysit my cousin in Santa Rosa all weekend. The answer they got? Silence. Pure, awkward as fuck, silence.

“Earth to Y/N,” Tatum laughed, brows furrowing. “Are you alive?”

“Sorry,” you huffed out a quiet laugh and shook your head, “I barely slept last night, I’m braindead.”

While it wasn’t a lie, you were still on edge. You’d think after months of sneaking around with the asshole sitting in front of you that you would have chilled out a little more but not today. Maybe it was the nerves of a full weekend away with Billy Loomis as his girlfriend hosted a fucking movie night sans her boyfriend and best friend – but something was making you stumble over what should have been second nature to you.

“You feeling okay?” Sid, the angel she was, asked with a small frown. Your stomach twisted in the familiar way it always did when your sweet friend showed concern. Concern which you most definitely didn’t deserve. “You seem…off.”

It would have been so easy to confess your dark little twisted affair with Billy right then and there. To just open your mouth and let the truth of everything you’d been doing behind her back play out. But you knew it would break her heart and, more than that, you were a fucking coward.

“I’m fine, Sid,” you smacked on a small smile and leaned into your locker. You had one more class until you were home free. Free of your friends’ inquiring eyes, free of Biology, free of Woodsboro. If you managed to get through this incredibly uncomfortable moment. “And I would if I could, trust me. I have to babysit my little cousin in Santa Rosa.” You feigned disappointment with a small frown. You could see Stu’s lips tug up in mild amusement out of the corner of your eye. “She’s nine, so if I don’t come back on Monday, know that she annoyed me to death.”

Randy scoffed and casually threw his arm around your neck. “Every day I’m thankful I don’t have any snot-nosed kids in my family. Losing my weekend to babysit? I’d rather rot.”

Despite your guilt, you managed a small smile as you looked across at him. “I think the kid would rather you rot, too. You’d be a terrible babysitter.”

“She’s right,” Tatum smirked, “you’d show the kid one of your weirdo movies where a girl with big tits is running helplessly away from her killer. It’d scar the kid for life.”

“Or,” Randy mused, “prepare them for the real world. Put some hair on their chest and all that shit.”

“Furthering my point, Meeks, you’d be a shit babysitter.” You laughed. “But, yeah, I’ll be suffering at the hands of a nine-year-old, so you guys have fun without me.”

“How about you, lover boy?” Tatum asked, looking across at Billy. “Will you be joining us this weekend?��

You should have averted your eyes. Should have done anything besides wait, with bated breath, to see what Billy would say. Slowly, those brown eyes tapered over towards you just briefly before looking at Tatum. With a casual shrug of his shoulders, Billy shook his head and leaned into Sid. “Can’t,” he merely said, “I’m going up north with my dad. He wants to get some of his affairs in order or something, I don’t know.” He ran a hand through his hair. “All I know is I was promised free beer if I helped him. So, I’m helping him.”

If Sid caught onto his lie, her face didn’t betray her once. And, as she looked up at her boyfriend with doting eyes, you couldn’t help but feel that pang of shame slice into your gut once again. She believed him. She always believed him. Believed you. Regardless of how good it felt to have Billy, that shame of knowing just who it was unwittingly hurting in the process never dissipated.

“You sure you guys won’t need help?” Sid asked, further digging that knife of shame into your chest. “Besides this movie, I’ve got nothing else going on this weekend.”

“Real nice,” Randy teased. “She’d rather watch Billy’s dad punch away at a fucking calculator then sit down with her nearest and dearest.”

Billy ignored Randy entirely as he glanced down at the brunette. “I’m sure,” he affirmed, giving her a quick squeeze. “Enjoy the movie night. I’ll be there for the next one.”

He lied so effortlessly, so casually, that it should have unnerved you. But it didn’t. Because for as good of a liar Billy Loomis was, you were right here with him. This dangerous little game the two of you were playing was becoming second nature to you and for as much as it pained you to see Sidney get lied to, you couldn’t help yourself.

You loved Billy. Billy loved you. Right person, wrong time. Only rather than wait like you knew you should have, Billy’s glow was much too enthralling to miss. You were both moths to each other’s’ flames and no amount of guilt or shame was strong enough to outweigh the otherworldly affliction the two of you had for one another.

The bell signifying your final class rung out, snapping you out of your brief reverie as you blinked and focused on pushing Randy off of you. “Want to drive me to the bus station?” You asked him. “I don’t want to drive all the way to Santa Rosa, so I bought a bus ticket.”

“Tonight?” Randy considered it briefly before shrugging. “Sure, I guess. I’ve got a shift tonight at seven, though. When’s your bus leave?”

“Six thirty,” you lied, mainly doing this so that should anyone drive by your house this weekend and see your car still neatly parked in your driveway, they wouldn’t bat an eye. “I owe you.”

“Yeah, you do,” Randy agreed. “And, lucky for you, I accept a lot of different payment options.” He wriggled his brows, earning a playful smack from you and an annoyed glare from Billy. Thankfully, Randy didn’t catch onto the latter. “Pick you up at six?”

You nodded. “Perfect.”

With your eyes flickering to Billy’s once more, you managed to shoot everyone a quick smile before disappearing down the hall towards Biology. Just how you’d managed to dance your way out of what could have been an incredibly awkward moment, you didn’t know. But as you felt that weighty stare of Billy’s on your back as you walked away, there was an air of excitement that swallowed you whole.

No matter how much guilt you felt, no matter how sick it made you to see Sidney get hurt, even if she didn’t quite know about just yet, there was a much larger part of you that couldn’t wait to get Billy alone.

Because for the first time in the seven months since you’d started this torrid little affair, you were finally getting Billy all to yourself. No prying eyes, no secret kisses, no having to hide every part of your relationship with the man. None of that.

This weekend, it was you and it was Billy.

And you couldn’t fucking wait.

»»-------------¤-------------««

Randy, being the superstar he was, had dropped you off at the station a little after six-fifteen and by six-thirty-two, just around the time the actual bus was leaving for Santa Rosa, you were scrambling into Billy’s car with a wild grin on your face.

Just how the pair of you had managed to pull it off, especially given your brain lapse earlier in the day, was beyond you. But, as Billy tore off down the main street leading to the freeway, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of freedom engulf you the farther and farther you got from town.

It was exhilarating.

And, as you glanced at Billy, who couldn’t have looked more like a movie star with his dark locks blowing with the wind cascading in through his open window, you couldn’t help but reach across the divide to gently squeeze his jean-clad thigh.

“Thank you,” you found yourself muttering and as those brown eyes met yours, you couldn’t help but grin. “For your stupid key proposal. In hindsight, it was very sweet.”

The dimple in Billy’s cheek deepened as his own grin grew. “Glad you let me steal you away?”

You loosened your seatbelt momentarily and leaned across to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Very glad.” You made a move to pull away but stopped when he gently grabbed your chin with the hand not holding the wheel. “What—”

The kiss, while dangerously stupid, was short and sweet but the emotion behind it, the genuine happiness that exuded out of Billy in those few seconds was palpable. “I really do fucking love you, you know that?”

“You’ve mentioned it,” you hummed and slinked back into your seat. When his large hand found your thigh, he gave it a firm squeeze that sent shockwaves throughout your whole body.

“Not going to say it back?” He teased, giving you a sidelong glance as he drew nearer to the freeway.

“I’d rather show it.” Rather than put your seatbelt back on, you shimmed in your seat and leaned into him as your fingers scraped along his thighs towards the button of his jeans. “Eyes on the road, Loomis.”

Easier said than done, Billy thought, torn between watching the road and watching you unzip his jeans. Raising his ass out of the seat just long enough to allow you to tug his pants down his thighs, the second Billy saw yours eyes light up as his now somewhat erect cock sprung free of his jeans, keeping his eyes on the road seemed impossible. But, the second he saw that pretty mouth of yours perk up in anticipation, it was game over. “Are you trying to get us killed?”

A low chuckle escaped your lips as you began to pump his length with your hand. “Focus on the road, Billy.”

“You say that like it’s easy.” Not being able to keep his hands off of you, he reached for your nipple and gave it a pinch through your shirt. “Take your shirt off, baby.”

“Shut up and drive.” You chided him, shimming in your seat so that you were on your knees leaning over the console. His cock was rock hard now and, as you ran your tongue alongside his length, from the base of it all the way up to coax your tongue along the precum that had gathered along his head, you felt him shiver beneath you.

“Fuck,” he hissed, tangling his fingers through your hair. You were too fucking good with that mouth of yours.

Still pumping the base of his cock with one hand, you swirled your tongue along the tip of his dick again before taking that perfectly girthy cock in your mouth. His grip tightened on your hair and your eyes watered as he pushed your head down to fully take the length of him inside of your mouth. He heard you gag on him but even as his grip eased up, you continued your pursuit of deepthroating him.

His breathing was shallow as he felt your hot mouth all over him. Between the sounds of your wet mouth taking him in and the occasional gag as you choked on his length, Billy was in heaven.

But having you this close as you fucked him with your mouth whilst still fully clothed was killing him. He needed to feel you. He wanted to feel your juices on his fingers and running down those perfect fucking thighs as he fingerfucked you. He wanted to hear you moan, feel you moan on his cock as he made you feel as good as you were making him feel.

He wanted all of you, needed all of you.

Trying his damnedest not to shut his eyes as your mouth brought him closer to the edge, he reached beneath you to work on your own zipper but when that proved to be impossible, a frustrated growl tore out of his lips. “Undo your pants.” He hissed through bared teeth.

You hummed against his dick which nearly sent him into the other land of traffic. “No,” you purred, “I want to make you feel good.”

With one hand on the wheel and the other now gliding up and down your back as you fucked him with your mouth, Billy couldn’t help but buck into your mouth as you began to massage his balls. He was going to bust and soon if he wasn’t careful.

You were too fucking good and he was too fucking in love with you not to get lost in the way you made him feel.

“Touch yourself, at least,” he breathed out, desperate to see that pretty cunt. “Please, baby.”

Not granting him the satisfaction, you simply dug your nails into his thighs and moaned onto his cock and the sensation of it alone was almost enough to make him come down your throat. It seemed to slither around his cock, making him twitch and buck into your mouth.

But it was the second you moaned out his name as you swirled your wet mouth along the head of his dick one final time, swallowing back his precum with a contented hum, that Billy blew his loud inside of your mouth.

For a good five seconds, he didn’t care if he crashed the goddamn car as he watched you swallow his seed. He was bucking into your mouth, his breathing was ragged, as you guzzled him back and, as you finally released his cock with a pop, Billy almost lost it.

With a devilish grin, you simply wiped a finger along the edge of your lips and leaned back into your seat with a satisfied glimmer in your eyes. You knew you’d be in for it once he got his hands on you at the cabin, but for now, as you watched him lamely try and pull his jeans up his body to cover his slowly softening cock, you couldn’t help but laugh.

“What’s the matter, Billy?” You teased, fastening your seatbelt back up. “You look a little rattled.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he simpered, not bothering with the zipper or button of his jeans. Instead, he reached across the divide and grabbed for your hand as he ghosted his lips across your knuckles. “Just wait until we get to the cabin.”

With your suspicions confirmed, you couldn’t help but beam across at him as you drove further and further away from Woodsboro. That was definitely a threat and good god were you excited for its execution.

»»-------------¤-------------««

By the time you’d pulled into the Loomis family cabin, it was pitch black outside.

The moon was too high in the sky and only a sliver of its light poked through the tall pine trees that surrounded the small house but, even with the low light surrounding you, the shadows that danced along the lake was enough to bring out a small smile as you quietly made your way out of the car. You didn’t need full sun to see the beauty surrounding you and the smell of the fresh air mixed with the spice of pine made any ounce of nerves filter out of you.

You were happy.

Unreservedly so.

Glancing across the roof towards Billy, he seemed almost distracted as he looked around at the familiar surroundings. You couldn’t quite tell if he was feeling as happy as you were in those brief moments, but you couldn’t quite blame him for that. The cabin held a lot of memories within it, many of which you knew included his mother. Where you felt freed and excited, you could tell the weight of his current whereabouts was heavy on his shoulders.

“Hey,” you muttered, slicing into the quietude around you. Walking around the front of the car, those brown eyes found yours as you circled your arms around his middle. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” he assured, but his voice was low and distant. All the same, however, his strong arms enveloped you as he kissed your hairline. “Lost in a memory, I guess.”

You nodded into the crook of his neck but said nothing. He needed time to decompress, to familiarize himself with a house he hadn’t been in since his mother left. So, you’d give him that time.

For what must have been minutes, the two of you simply stood at the helm of porch holding onto one another. It wasn’t until Billy placed another quick kiss to your forehead that you felt his arms slowly fall only to grasp your hand in his own. “Come on,” he hummed. His grip on your hand was firm as he walked up the steps leading to the wrap around porch and as he stuck the key inside of the lock and opened the front door, the smell of cedar surrounded you.

The cabin was gorgeous. Wooden slats covered every square inch of the small house and a small fireplace sat at the front of the house with a worn-in couch and chair facing it. It was obvious nobody had come to visit for quite some time judging by the dust lining most of the countertops and shelving units, but you didn’t care.

To you, it was perfect.

Your own little oasis with the boy you loved without any sort of outside interruption.

You released his hand to take a brief look around the small living space but you could feel his eyes on you with every step you took. You knew he was looking to get even with you after your little stunt in the car, but you also knew that he hadn’t quite been expecting the swell of emotions to hit him upon driving up to the cabin. So, you continued to wander around the cabin to both grant him the space he may or may not have needed and, simply, to snoop around.

There were family pictures lining the tables and one in particular made you smile as you caught sight of a young Billy swinging from a tire swing. With a quiet laugh, you picked the frame up and surveyed it with a fond smile on your lips. “Cute,” you remarked, looking across to catch his stare. “A little model, eh?”

Billy watched you carefully place the frame down on the table before continuing on with your self-guided tour. No matter how hard he tried, regardless of the bittersweet memories swirling around inside of his brain, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Not that he ever really could, but there was an ease rolling off of you tonight, coming off of you in waves, that drew him in.

“I’ve been thinking about this all week, you know that?” He remarked, leaning against the back of the couch as he watched you pick up another picture frame. “Just me and you. Out here alone in the woods for an entire weekend.”

“Sounds like a scary movie when you put it that way,” you goaded with a wink. “Or a really niche porno.”

“Why not a bit of both?” His molasses coloured eyes glimmered mischievously as you walked up to him and stepped between his legs. The second you were close, he pulled you flush against his chest and kissed the tip of your nose as he pushed your hair back and away from your face. “Both could be fun.”

You grinned. “I’m down for anything,” you shrugged. “So long as you promise to take me on an actual date tomorrow. We’re not just fucking like bunnies inside of the cabin all weekend.”

“Heaven forbid,” he leaned in and gave you a slow, torturous kiss.

“I’m serious, Billy,” you moaned.

Pulling away from your mouth, Billy nudged his nose against yours and nodded. “The entire population in Bumfuck, California will know you’re my girl by the end of the weekend,” he avowed, skimming his hands down to your ass to give it a firm squeeze. “I promise.”

“Oh, yeah?” You hummed, kissing him again.

His calloused hands slipped beneath your shirt and scraped up your side. “Yeah.” Digging his hips into yours, he gave you one last kiss before nodding towards the bedroom. “Take your clothes off.”

You giggled as he slapped your ass to steer you down the narrow hallway. “And if I don’t?”

“I’ll rip them off of you,” he simply said, “so either they remain in one piece or I ruin your outfit.”

You glanced down at your jeans and tank before frowning. You looked cute tonight and you’d be damned if the bastard ripped them. So, being the good girl you were, you held his stare and slowly slinked out of your clothes. His eyes seemed so much darker as he watched you strip and the small smirk he wore slowly fell into a hungry thin line as you then perched yourself on the edge of the bed, completely nude.

“You just going to stand there looking pretty or are you going to do something about this?” You slipped your fingers between your thighs and ran your fingers along your swollen clit. A low moan slipped out of your lips at the sensation. “I’m already so wet for you, Billy.”

Slowly, Billy stepped towards you and undid his belt. Leaning down, he kissed you, hard, and steered you backwards on the bed beneath you until your head reached the soft pillows. You could feel his cock straining against his jeans but rather than grant himself any sort of reprieve, you watched him gently grasp your hands and raise them above your head only to wrap his belt around your wrists.

In the blink of an eye, you were tied to the bedposts.

“Is this payback for the car blowie?” You laughed, looking up at your restrained wrists. “If it is, I can’t say I’m mad about it.”

“You wanted something between a horror movie and a niche porno, remember?” He hummed against your skin, placing sloppy kisses along the vein that ran along your neck as he pinched your nipple. “God, you’re fucking perfect. You know that?”

He bit down on your collarbone, kissing his way down your chest until his warm mouth wrapped around your nipple. You could feel his teeth slither along your breast as his tongue lapped expertly on the sensitive bud. You hissed, arching into his mouth as your wrists, on instinct, fought for freedom. “Hardly.”

His eyes met yours as he slowly released your nipple. You were in nothing, of course, but he was still fully clothed, and you hated him for it. You hungrily eyed the bulge in his jeans as he propped himself up on his arm, letting his other hand glide up your chest and neck until it cupped your cheek. His nose brushed against yours, nudging it up to allow his lips to hover just over yours. Close enough that you could almost taste them, but much too far away to satisfy the hunger you had for the man.

“I love you,” he whispered, thumb stroking the apple of your cheek as his warm, brown eyes swallowed you up. “You know that, right?”

“Yes,” you swallowed hard and tilted your head up just enough to finally catch his lips. But, just as quickly as it happened, the man pulled away and let his hand begin to roam down your body. His mouth was at your ear now, nibbling at your earlobe as his hot breath slithered against your neck. You shivered. “I love you, too.”

His voice was gruff in your ear. “I’d kill for you,” his hand continued its journey down your throat, brushing past your nipple, down the length of your stomach until reaching the small smattering of hair along your mound. He was careful to keep his hands from dipping any lower, tormenting you as best to his ability, which just about killed you, if you were being honest. “You know that?”

Bucking your hips up, you nearly growled at the lack of attention you were receiving. You were soaked and touch-starved for him. His fingers, his mouth, the erection currently poking into your thigh, anything. “I wouldn’t ask you to do that,” you managed a quiet laugh. “But I appreciate it.”

His teeth bit down on your neck again. “But, I would. I’d do anything for you, sweetheart.”

His hand slipped further down to your sopping cunt and as he slowly slipped his fingers through your wet folds, the moan he got in return nearly killed him. “Billy,” you whispered desperately. It felt as though you were going to die if you didn’t feel him inside of you. “Please.”

His lips hovered over yours and on instinct, you caught his bottom lip between your teeth and bucked your hips against his hand. He snarled as you bit down on his lip but as the metallic taste of blood met his tongue, it was as though Billy was transcending. His pace on your clit quickened but it was still too slow for you and he knew it. He was torturing you, killing you, and he was enjoying every second of it. Struggling against the belt, your struggle was all for naught as it didn’t so much as move an inch.

“You’d love me, no matter what, right?” He asked, slipping one of his fingers inside of you as he kissed his way down to your chest. Lapping at your nipple, Billy was gentle at first before biting down hard enough to draw blood. Tit for Tat.

“Yes,” you moaned. Your entire body was on fire as his fingers brought you closer to the edge. “But I’d love you even more if you fucked me. You’re killing me, Loomis.”

Licking up the small trail of blood off of your tits, Billy hummed against your nipple and added another finger inside of your pussy. He’d fuck you soon but right now, he needed to feel your entire body light up the way it always had when he drove you into that fit of madness. You were a woman unhinged in the bedroom, he knew as much, and he knew exactly how to get that animal inside of you out.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he admired, reaching his hand up to coat your tit in your own slick. When it was sufficiently wet, he licked your juices off of your breast and growled. God, you tasted so fucking good. “You’re my girl, Y/N, you’re always going to be my girl, right?”

You looked up at him as those words fell from his lips. His brown hair hung down his forehead, his neck red from the strain of having to watch you writhe beneath him without doing a damned thing about it. But what struck you was the look of vulnerability in those brown eyes. That longing, far-away look as his eyes searched yours.

He wanted nothing more than to hear you say that you wanted him. Needed him. Just as much as he needed you.

“Always,” the answer tumbled out of your lips before you so much as thought twice. “I’m your girl, Billy.”

His mouth caught yours in a bruising kiss. Finally, his pace quickened inside of you as met your throbbing core with his dept fingers. With his thumb circling your clit, he dipped two fingers inside of you and grinned against your mouth as you let out a low, desperate moan.

It happened so fast after that. One moment, you were the one tied up on the bed and the next, he’d released you, stripped himself naked, and managed to flip you over so that you were the one on top of him, straddling his waist. Pulling away from you mouth, Billy’s eyes darkened as he saw that familiar glimmer in your eyes. That animalistic side of you was out in full force now.

“Get up here.” He demanded.

You smirked and leaned across him so that your lips hovered over his. “Why would I want to do that?”

He leaned up, the veins in his neck swelled against his neck as he caught your bottom lip between his teeth. “Get. Up. Here.”

Releasing your lip, Billy watched you smirk and crawl up the remainder of his body until your pussy was less than an inch away from his mouth. Grabbing onto the metal of the headboard you’d just been tied up to, you gasped as Billy’s tongue slid into your folds. Finding your clit instantly, you moaned and allowed your eyes to fall shut as you reached down to play with your hardened nipples.

Fuck, what Billy could do with his mouth should have been illegal.

He sucked and lapped at your clit as you rocked back and forth against his mouth. His fingers dug into your hips, so much so that you knew there would be bruises in the morning but, blinded by the pleasure between your thighs, you couldn’t care less.

The moans that were coming out of you were raw and guttural and, as you played with your own tits, envisioning his hands being the ones to squeeze and nip on the swollen buds of your nipples, you saw stars.

“Fuck,” you moaned out, “Billy, baby, fuck.”

He pulled your hips further down so that you were sitting on his face. Not just hovering but sitting on that perfect mouth of his as he held you in place. You knew it must have been hard for him to breathe but he was adamant and as his tongue continued its assault on your throbbing cunt, you came devastatingly hard and incredibly loud.

Stars danced behind your eyes as you continued to ride out your orgasm. When you couldn’t take another second of Billy’s skilled tongue, you climbed off of him only to feel his large hands take hold of your hips again.

Swinging you around so that you were on your back and he was the one hovering over you, Billy wasted no time in slipping his rock-hard erection into your soaking pussy.

He was thrusting hard and the sounds of your juices squelching with every thrust of his cock would have been off-putting if it hadn’t been for the raw, primal need coursing off of the pair of you in waves. He was kissing your lips and biting them and suckling your neck as he continued to rail into you with all of passion in the world. You weren’t sure you’d ever seen him this riled up and you had to admit it was inherently sexy seeing him so affected by you.

Not surprising in the least, it didn’t take him long to come. You’d riled him up to the point of no return in the car and, as you felt him come inside of you, you all but laughed when he dramatically crashed on the bed beside you.

Sweat glistened over every inch of body and the sheen of your juices was still on his lips as he kissed you. This kiss was slow, methodical. Sweet. And you felt yourself fall even harder for the man as he broke the kiss and gently brushed your hair away from your now damp forehead.

Wrapping one arm around your chest, Billy held you against him as he propped himself against the headboard. You were both naked and sweating and while a shower was something you both definitely needed, neither of you found yourselves all too willing to move out of the other’s embrace.

“Is it hard being back here?” You asked, listening to his heart beating in his chest.

“For a second, maybe,” he admitted, soothing your hair down. “Not now.”

“What’s changed?” You asked with a small smile. “The sex was that good, huh?”

A quiet chuckle shook his chest as he kissed the top of your head. “I think horror meets niche porn is my new favourite genre.”

Kissing his naked chest, you grinned into his body. “Same.”

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cheesus-doodles · 3 years ago

Note

Yandere toman rn are all prob pissed off knowing that more ppl are trying to get at the reader (the brothers and inui, koko) can't wait till Senju and Waka find Abt the reader and then there's this whole mess and then the reader is just Sandwich in-between these crazy people. Do you ever wonder if the reader breaks one day and has enough of everyone and wants to have alone time? How would all these yanderes feel Abt it? - brain rot🐢

too real right here 🐢 anon - somedays reality just hits me hard and i kinda wish to take a break from it all ya know. not in the best mental state right now, can't imagine being reader and dealing with all the shit they go through on a daily basis. but enough rambling, going to write a short standalone drabble for this, though recommend that yall read some of my other fics for relationship context (if you haven't) :)

‎

Recommended Readings: A Friend In Me Part 1 ; Leaving You ; High Heels

Masterlist

tw: yandere, afab reader

‎

Breaking Point

Yandere Platonic Toman Boys

You didn't feel like yourself anymore these days. Time flowed past you while you watched on, more so an observer just watching the world go by, trapped behind the glass of your eyes. Nothing seemed to light that spark in your chest anymore, the happiness that once shined from the depth of your eyes no longer there when you stared at yourself in the mirror, willing yourself to just feel something, anything besides emptiness and hopelessness.

It was hard to pinpoint when exactly the fun and color of your days, spent laughing and playing with your Toman friends, started to dull and lose its luster, or when your genuine smile became a fake strained one that you struggled to keep up. The same cityscape that once held so much life and vibrancy, that brought you hope and joy when you flung your front door open in the morning, only seemed more tiring and depressing the more you walked its streets.

Exhausted. Drained past your breaking point, your friends were all too busy between bathing in the attention and affection you showered freely on them, and fighting off and intimidating any of the other friends you tried to make when they thought you weren't looking, to notice your ever-growing weariness.

Maybe it was just the nature of being a delinquent, to be as possessive and overprotective as Mikey and the others were, or maybe it was your new found delinquent friends who were just so stubborn, unwilling to give in to the other's demands - but in the midst of the three way tug of war you had accidentally found yourself in, stuck between your Toman friends, Ran and Rindou, and Koko and Inupi, they seemed to have all but forgotten about you.

That you were just like them - an out-of-place kid looking for acceptance in a lonely and uncaring world.

You weren't home. You weren't home when Kazutora had swung round in the wee hours of the morning, like he always did every other day. The sinking feeling had already settled into the bottom of his gut when he padded into an unusually neat and silent room, your unused covers still neatly folded up, quickly turned into all-out panic when the boy had thrown back the covers to reveal a cold and empty bed. A small note resting on your pillow, where your head should be, addressed directly to him, lightly informing him that you were taking a break, and that you would be back soon.

The crooked smiley face at the end of the letter was a steep contrast to the horror that quickly washed over the boys upon receiving Kazutora's hysterical call, and even though they were barely able to make out what he stammered out between whimpers and tears, it was enough to have them leaping out of bed.

"Gone? What do you mean gone?" Ran all but demanded, metal baton clutched tightly in one white-knuckled hand, the other trembling fist hidden behind his back. The sunlight rarely reached down this alley, yet the shadows that reigned here didn't hide the fury that burned in the eyes of the Toman President.

"You haven't seen her?" Mikey demanded again, aggressive tone betraying his emotions despite his face still wearing that normal blank look.

But all Rindou had to respond with was a curse muttered loudly under his breath, quickly plunging one gloved hand into his pocket and pulling out a small mobile phone. Even if the Haitani brothers almost always worked alone, there were enough in the underworld that owned them favours, strings that they were all but ready to pull - to get you back by their side.

Across town, the exact same scenario was repeated in Black Dragon territory, though Koko's face paling to an ashen white at the thought of you up and leaving him without even a goodbye would have been amusing in any other scenario. Stumbling to pull out his phone from his pristine white uniform, even the usually stoic Inupi could barely hold his composure in front of a raging Draken, as Koko barked out orders, mobilizing every available men in search of you.

Huddled up into yourself, skirt neatly folded underneath you, the fresh, cool wind that blew across the otherwise empty grass field was a refreshing change from the normal drone of the concrete jungle, one that took your troubles with it as it ruffled your hair. Turning back, the distant tall skyscrapers and glass towers of Tokyo City glittered in the afternoon sun, looking almost as if it was being consumed in the harsh light - no doubt the city was all but going down in flames with your friends scrambling to look for you. But for today, you thought, your gaze once more turned to look over the open ocean, the vibrant blue seas and distant horizon a siren's call to you, just for today, maybe you could be alone.

You could be yourself once more, and let the light and color seep back into your life.

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saltygilmores · 2 years ago

Text

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls Season 1, Episode 21 ("Love, Daisies, And Troubadors"). Part 1

WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS EPISODE: We're on the last episode of Season 1! Luke "Fixes Lorelai's Porch Rail" and wakes the neighbors. Lorelai asks Luke to Pound One More Thing while he's out there. Lorelai has a dirty conversation at work with Max. Max watches Lorelai suck on a ring pop. Luke breaks in Lorelai's back door. Clara Forrester needs a foster home. Rory pours her heart out at a town meeting and everyone pity claps.

"Ms Gilmore, I'm here to fix your porch rail.* "Well, my porch rail does need a lot of screwing, hammering, nailing, and pounding Mr Danes." *porny music begins playing* (disclaimer: this conversation did not actually happen). "You're gonna wake the neighbors." (this was actually said)

STOP LOBBING ME SO MANY SOFTBALLS! If you keep making all the dirty jokes for me I'll be out of a job reviewing a 22 year old tv show to 3 people on a dying social media platform! Luke disappears as Rory shows up causing Lorelai to loudly exclaim "He was banging on something!" about 4 times. You wish.

Michel Wisdom: "I've made peace with the fact that everyone who calls here is a notch above brain dead, and the pennies I am thrown each week are in exchange for me dealing with these people in a nonviolent manner and usually that is fine, but today, sorry lady, I have ennui." Max calls Lorelai at work and they have a converation insinuating some kind of roleplay situation recently took place and they also talk about having sex withdrawals. Remember the time Max called Lorelai at work and they had a conversation about removing each others pants? Poor Sookie, already suffering from ennui, and the rest of the kitchen staff have to hear Lorelai and Max talk about how someone should write a novel about their Sex. Does she know about Archive of Our Own? Does she know that in the future a number of people will have written novels about her Sex with Luke? But not ol Max Medina.

Oh no, Rory found the DeanBox that she told Lorelai to throw away. Of course Lorelai didn't throw it out. Let's be real. Who's the one who really wants to hang on to pieces of Dean here? Lorelai explains that Rory "Is gonna want some of that stuff one day, when you're old and married, and you can look back and say "I certainly had an interesting life!" I'm sensing a theme here, which is that Dean's lot in life is to make Rory's life more interesting for her mother. Sure, Rory is going to want to keep her Dean box until she is old and married. Girls always keep boxes of their high school boyfriend's random shit for decades. "You can pull out all your old boyfriend boxes." I DON'T CARE THAT HE'S STILL 5 EPISODES AWAY, WHERE IS THE JESS BOX?! What was in the ChristopherBox? The box of expired condoms that led to Rory? I KID. I KID. Contents of the DeanBox Full Of Garbage Pointless Crap were as follows: Idk what the first thing was supposed to be-a dress? A stuffed chicken. Box of corn starch. Quarter on a string ("medallion"). OH WHAT PRECIOUS MEMORIES!

I love the Caboodles case in the background. When you're all grown up and married to your StepCousin Jess and open up your Deanbox, maybe the quarter will have appreciated in value. Rory is hesitating to enter Doose's because Dean will be working there. We're STILL doing this? Boycotting small businesses, hurting the local shopkeep every time you break up with a boy? Oh, the shopkeep here is Taylor, carry on not giving him your money.

Lane starts jumping up and down OMG'ing and freaking out just because Rory is going into the market. She didn't even have a plan yet. Everyone in this town has rotting fish carcasses for brains. The "this" is Dean & Rory getting back together. God help me. Time and time again, we see the primary lesson of Gilmore Girls is this: Don't date someone who lives in your small town. After your inevitable break up, you'll be doomed to wander the streets, unable to enter any businesses, and eventually you will starve to death. Don't shit where you eat, as Milo would say.

Honestly though I love Lane. How could you not? Taylor accuses Rory of looking like a shoplifter. The nerve! Like Rory would ever steal anything!

Mikey's an improvement from Dean! Go for it Rory! "He took Thursday afternoon off. He must have met one of those Thursday afternoon girls. They're slutty girls who get guys to switch their Thursday afternoons with another checkout guy so they can go do slutty Thursday afternoon things." It's fine if you want to calling hypothetical girls you don't know sluts, so we'll just keep calling you Mary, it only seems fair. Rory: Lane, you'd tell me if you ever saw Dean with another girl at school? Well, she never told you when Jess stopped showing up for class, so idk how reliable this girl really is.

"Suck my left nut" is my catchphrase of the week, and Diet Logan can suck my left nut.

Classic Diet Logan. DL lies to Madelyn and Louise by telling them Rory agreed to go with him to the PJ Harvey concert, which enrages Paris, who is still infatuated with Tristan, apparently, for some reason.

Shut up Rachel, can't you see there is a dalmatian behind you? Show some respect. Rachel: Luke's been at your place alot. Lorelai: Yeah, well, he's been fixing some things. The porch rail. Some roof shingles, then the porch rail again. Luke's been spending an awful lot of time "fixing the porch rail" Eh? Eh? Heh heh.

A Troubador War is a brewin'. Luke scares Lorelai when she unexpectedly finds him in her house. The following exchange requires no further commentary from me: Lorelai: How'd you get in here? Luke: I came in through your back door. Lorelai: My back door's locked. Luke: Well that's why I came through it. Your back door lock was broken. Lorelai: My back door lock is fine. Luke: Your back door lock is cheap. (this exchange goes on way too long). #BackDoor Nitpick Time! My favorite time! Same episode:

Lorelai Gilmore, Milk Denier. And a cracker denier as well. (She once said she didn't keep crackers in the house when a box of Saltines was clearly visible in her kitchen in the same episode). "I'm a loner." "I don't want to hear about the romance of being a loner." "Some guys are just natural loners." "Yes, lonely guys." "Independent guys." "Sad guys." "Maverick guys." "Lee Harvey Oswald." "John Muir." "The Unabomber." "Henry David Thoreau." "Jess Mariano." Okay you got me. I made that last one up.

Being a Milk Whore is more honest than being a Milk Denier, Lorelai. But is being a Milk Whore more respectable than being a Thursday Afternoon Supermarket Slut?

The House Of Forrester. House of The Damned.

Sure she's annoying as hell, but how did Dean's parents spawn an otherwise normal child? Honey, I have some news. I think you were adopted.

Apologize at once, Rory Gil. Poor Clara didn't ask to be born a Forrester. She doesn't need you traumatizing her too. Lorelai's bringing Max to a town meeting to pop his Town Meeting cherry. And oh boy, it's gonna be a good deflowering.

You have to admire MaxMedina's earnest enthusiasm about Ring Pops, like he just discovered the wheel. I was eating Ring Pops in the early 90's. Stars Hollow is at least a decade behind the times for everything, so I guess it checks out.

A sea of weirdoes. I'd say that if you packed any more oddballs into that tiny room you'd open up some kind of vortex to another dimension, but Stars Hollow is already not of this Earthly realm.

The American political landscape.

Piece of literal human garbage. I haven't dunked on Dean in a bit so I had to let it out. I get all backed up otherwise. Subjecting minors like poor Clara to one of these meetings should be classified as child abuse. Anyone want to open up their home to an incredibly annoying but sweet foster child?

Boring old MaxMedina just soaking up the weirdness and sipping his drinkydrink.

How does a Town Troubador make a living? Is this a volunteer gig he takes too seriously? Taylor somehow didn't know he existed, so this is not some local government-sponsored initiative. Clearly no one is going to pay him in tips. No one even pays for their food at the beloved local restaurant. Taylor asks him "what do you do for a living"? to which he responds "I don't want people to know those things." Ah yes the old Jess Mariano approach. A gigolo? A WalMart worker? A "messenger" for a guy named Todd? Miss Patty: He doesn't accept money. I tried. So not a Gigolo then. Taylor: This troubador act is a money making scheme! Prett-y rich coming from Taylor Doose who spends 7 years putting together "Fundraisers" to repair a tiny wooden bridge and is totally not pocketing the money. Taylor's the type of guy who says things like "no one wants to work these days!" but then this nice gentleman is out there trying his best probably hoping for a few bucks thrown into his guitar case, which is a pipe dream since this is Stars Hollow and no one pays for anything, and Taylor calls him a vagrant and a scammer. Taylor: Watch out Morey, after that anatomically explicit epithet your wife yelled at me earlier, you're both on probation. Oh Babette! I'd love to know what she called him. A cocksucker? A dickhead? Did she tell him to suck her left nut?

Pervy old Max Medina only bought Lorelai a ring pop for one reason and he's thinking he got his money worth.. Looks like Lorelai returned the favor and bought him a hot dog to suck on. The speech to follow is one of my all time favorite Rory moments and I truly enjoy it (ironically). Enjoy. "I have something to say!" *awed hush falls over the town hall* "Sometimes you have something to say but you can't because the words won't come out! Or you get scared or feel stupid! If you could just write a song and sing it, then you could say what you need to say and it would be beautiful and people would listen and you wouldn't make a complete idiot of yourself! All of us can't be songwriters, we'll never be able to say what we're thinking so we'll never get the chance to make things right again! Ever!"

I was about to type "And then everyone clapped" as a joke. And then everyone actually clapped.

Honestly, Barfbag's puzzled reaction to Rory's speech is the most reasonable one. Where the fuck that did come from Rory Gil? She took one look at that soiled mattress Dean Forrester and suddenly a prepared speech comes flowing forth?

Yeah. Everyone briefly pity-claps for Rory. Lorelai gives her a small hug. No Babette yelling "you go Sugar!" or anything of the sort. We see another brief shot of Dean looking confused. The meeting concludes. I applaud Rory's lack of social anxiety. If I gave an impromptu speech like that in front of what I would expect was a supportive crowd and no one even reacted, the humiliation would be a debilitating weight I would carry around for at least the next 15 years.

"Let's go home and you can suck on my Ring Pop." Tumblr only allows you to post 30 pictures per post, but just like Rory Gil, I have a lot to get off my chest, so I will continue this in a second post/ part 2. See you soon...

#gilmore girls #denise rewatches gilmore girls #rory gilmore #lorelai gilmore #max medina #luke danes #anti dean forrester #dean forrester can suck my left nut #diet logan can suck my left nut #gilmore girls season 1 #love daisies and troubadors

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 4 years ago

Text

If I Fell For You (Part 16) - Drowning

Summary: The reader’s night goes from bad to awful fast but thankfully Jensen shows up at the last second to stop things from getting any worse. But the guilt the reader feels over trying to end things with Jensen to protect him starts to become too much...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 5,600ish

Warnings: language, being drunk, minor violence, scary situations, angst, fighting, fluff, offscreen death of minor character, anxiety, panic attack, minor injury

A/N: This chapter is a whirlwind! Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

________

It was a close to an hour later and you were halfway through a bottle of bourbon, laying on the back porch of your mom’s house, staring at the rafters and debating finishing off the whole thing.

“Y/N?” you heard. Your skin crawled as you sat up, spotting your father at the other end of the wrap around. “Are you drunk?”

“This would be an appropriate time to tell you that yes, I am and I also have this,” you said, reaching behind your and picking up a hunting rifle. “I might be plastered but I think that’ll only improve my aim. I’ll be nice and shoot for your balls first.”

“You got so much wrong about me kid.”

You fired a shot near his feet and he held up his hands.

“Why don’t you go jump off a bridge or some shit,” you said.

“Y/N.”

You pulled the trigger as he took a step forward and he jumped when it hit the window nearby. You pulled again but it just clicked as he walked closer.

“Your new momma never taught you that kind of rifle only has two shots, did she,” he said. You tried to stand but got way too dizzy and fell down.

“Well I can still tear you apart with my teeth,” you said.

“You’re drunk and judging by your face, very upset. What happened to that boy you were with? I didn’t see him when I looked around.”

“Touch me and that boy will rip your head off.”

“This doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” he said, stepping far too close for your liking. You swung the rifle at him but he caught it and kicked the bottle away before you could get at it. “All grown up. Probably enjoy it now.”

You crawled back as far as you could, eyes darting behind him when you saw movement. You barely caught the brown hair and green eyes before your father was face first on the porch. You tried to stand but he yanked on your ankle and pulled you down hard. It took a long time to peel open your eyes again, your father now at Jensen’s feet. Jensen pushed down on his back while he talked on the phone to someone and it didn’t take long to hear sirens in the distance.

“For the record,” said Jensen as he walked over to you and crouched down, his belt around your father’s wrists, “I didn’t believe you for a second. Oh and you’re a dumbass but you’re my dumbass. Forever. Got it?”

“I couldn’t…” you trailed off. He nodded and took off his flannel, wrapping it over your shoulders. “I knew he would do something and I couldn’t have him near the kids or know they exist. I couldn’t-”

“I know, honey,” he said. “But don’t you dare ever do anything like that again.”

You put your head down sniffled, dizzy still as he rubbed your back before going back to watching your dad.

It took an hour or so before you could go home and you were sober enough to stand on your own.

“Can I ask why you made the executive decision that you did?” asked Jensen, holding your arm loosely as you got into his car to head back.

“Because I’m stupid,” you said dryly from the passenger seat as he turned on his SUV.

“I mean more so why didn’t you come to me if you were scared? Why make up a lie?”

“You did let me go. You must have believed me at least for a few seconds,” you said.

“No, I actually didn’t.”

“You let me go.”

He was quiet until you got close to the brewery, Jensen pulling off onto the plot of land he owned next to it. You leaned your head against the cold window and he turned off the engine.

“This whole, tired, don’t talk to me attitude right now? Been there. Lived it. I know it’s bullshit.”

“You let me leave so you did believe me so-” you said, Jensen pressing a finger to your lips.

“I am certain of very few things and you are one of them. I let you go so I could figure out what scared you so badly you’d lie, to me. There’s only one thing I can think of so before you even had a foot out of that house, I was calling people and I got put on with Detective Finn who worked your case as a kid and I find out that dick for brains sack of shit just moved practically down the street from us. It does not take a genius to put the pieces together.”

“Fine! I did it in some stupid attempt to protect you,” you said. You glared at him and he shook his head. “What?”

“I’m not gonna get mad at you.” You put your head back on the window and stared out to the dark trees, sniffling some. “Why do you want me to be angry with you?”

“Uh because I didn’t forget to turn on the washing machine or leave on a light. I lied. I lied so big that-”

“You lied to protect your family from a monster. Do I wish you had told me? Yes. But I fuck up so much and you’ve never once been angry with me for making a mistake and I’ll never be angry with you for making one either. I know you want me to be angry with you, feel like you should be punished for what you imagine is hurting me. But you didn’t hurt me, Y/N. You didn’t and I know you get that because so many times you’ve been on the other side of this and I know you’ve never once thought, oh yeah Jensen’s a piece of shit, let him really have it. No. Just no. So I’m not getting mad at you and I don’t know what to fucking say to make you feel better like you always do me and I’m so sorry he got so close to hurting you again. But I’m really good at fighting monsters in this family. So please next time, I don’t care if you’re scared of the bug on the wall or you think someone’s outside the house or what it is. If you’re scared, tell me and I’ll do my best to make it go away, I promise.”

“What do you do when you want to hate yourself for being an idiot?” you asked quietly. You heard him shift in his seat and you shut your eyes, the sound of a door opening and then another. Strong arms wrapped around you and you buried your face in his chest.

“I try to treat myself as kindly as she does. She would never hate me and she hates when I’m in pain. I see it all over her face. So I try to cut myself some slack and ask myself if she would hate me and when I realize no, I’m forced to forgive myself and it normally takes a few hours but it works pretty good. A lot of hugs and cuddling don’t hurt either.”

“Thank you for stopping him.”

“Don’t.”

“Thank you. I owe you so, so much.”

“You don’t owe me a damn thing. We got each other’s backs and that’s all there is to it. I’m just sad I missed you trying to shoot his dick off.”

“How did you know where to find me?”

“Find my iPhone. Also I figured that was a good place to check,” he said. “I would have been here sooner if Jared didn’t drive like a tortoise over to the house to watch the kids.”

“I’m sorry I scared you...and you had to do that tonight.”

“Oh punching your father was a personal highlight for me. Trust me,” he said. He stroked your cheek and you turned into the touch, eyes squeezing shut. “You’re safe.”

“He’s going to get out on bail and-”

“And we have a very good lawyer. Oh, and I know the mayor so fuck his ass, he’s not getting bail.”

You buried your face once again and he put a finger under your chin, lifting it up.

“You’re still scared.”

“He’s gonna get arrested for what, trespassing? Attempted assault? I was drunk and shot at him. He can spin it. He can spin it and be out on the street like that.”

“I’m going to ask the lawyer to do something else, something that maybe can take care of that problem.”

“What?”

“Once a piece of shit, always a piece of shit. He’s been gone for fifteen years. I have this bad feeling you weren’t the only one. Or even before that.”

“Or maybe he just hates me.”

“You don’t have to be scared. I’m gonna take care of it.”

“Jensen, I know you don’t have to worry about the money but it might still not be enough.”

“It’s enough,” he said. “Or else next time I’ll be the one with the rifle.”

“You would kill him?”

“Honestly? Yeah if it came to it. I wish people like him died in car crashes, not innocent ones. We have every right to protect ourselves and our family and I’m not letting him touch the kids or you ever.”

“I should probably say that’s bad but I don’t disagree.”

“Money works a lot. A real lot. Maybe he did something super bad and he can rot in prison forever.”

“Maybe,” you said, spotting a cruiser pull up nearby.

“Stay here, sweetie,” he said. He walked over while the officer got out. He spoke to Jensen for a moment, Jensen’s face a bit blank when he turned around.

“What’s wrong?”

“Your dad had a heart attack in the backseat,” said Jensen quietly. You cocked your head and he shook his. “Your father. In the police cruiser that was taking him for booking. He was just pronounced.”

“He died?”

“He was really overweight and didn’t look to be in the best health. He probably got his heart rate up too high and...the officer said he’d escort us home, stay outside the house for the night, calm our nerves.”

“He’s really dead?” you asked. You looked over at the officer and he came over, giving you a quick smile. “He really died?”

“Yes mam.”

“What...happens now?” you asked.

“We’ll file the report but you don’t necessarily need to press charges anymore. You’re next of kin as far as we’re aware so the body…” he trailed off when he looked at you. “We can talk about this with your lawyer.”

“Thanks,” said Jensen. “We’ll be on the road in a minute.”

The officer climbed back in his cruiser, Jensen leaning against the doorframe. He tucked your hair behind your ear, letting out a deep breath.

“Y/N,” he said. He stroked your cheek, your head turning up. “What is it, honey?”

“I don’t feel bad at all. I’m actually happy. That kinda is freaking me out a little. You shouldn’t be happy someone died.”

“Most people you’re right, you shouldn’t. But there are exceptions. He tormented you. He harassed you. He came after our family. I’m gonna sleep just fine tonight knowing he’s never coming back in our lives.”

“Were you scared of him?” He ducked his head down and you took hold of his hand. “Jensen.”

“Put it this way, I’d protect my family by any means necessary. What scares me was what if I was five minutes later tonight. Ten minutes. My job is to protect you and especially from monsters like that.”

“I’m a big girl Jensen. You don’t have to protect me from anything.”

“Yes I do, just like if it were me in your shoes I know you’d have done the same exact thing. We protect each other. It’s not because I’m the guy or I’m stronger. You’re my family and that’s what we do.”

“Thank you for protecting me and forgiving me for being stupid earlier,” you said. He smiled and nodded.

“You’re my dumbass and I’m yours,” he said. “Want to go home now?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I really do.”

“He’s really gonna spend the night?” you asked half an hour later in bed, Jensen shutting the door after himself. “He knows there’s a cop outside, right?”

“What can I say, Jared...he thinks of you like a little sister,” he said. “I can’t blame him for being protective.”

“I’ll be right back,” you said. You climbed out of bed and went downstairs, the light dim aside from where Jared was reading on the couch, a blanket over his legs. He looked over the top of the book and set it down, sitting up.

“Everything alright?” he asked. You smiled and took a seat on the edge of the couch, pulling him into a hug.

“Thanks for staying,” you said, a pair of large arms wrapped around your back.

“Of course.”

“You do know there’s nobody to bother us now, right?”

“I know. Some peace of mind never hurt anybody though,” he said. “Go on back to your fiance. You guys had a rough night.”

“Yeah,” you said, closing your eyes. “Thanks.”

He kissed your temple and you returned to your room, Jensen pulling you under the covers. You let out a deep breath, turning into his side.

“Here,” he said. He started to take off his bracelet but you shook your head.

“It’s yours, Jensen. I feel safe, I promise.”

“You’re tense still, honey.”

“Still working on that not being so angry at myself thing,” you said. He smiled and kissed you quickly, laying an arm over your waist. “I know what you said but I still want you to be pissed at me for lying.”

“You didn’t hurt me.”

“But-”

“You didn’t hurt me, Y/N and you know what? Sometimes, you’re gonna hurt me and I’m gonna hurt you. We’ll have bad days and get annoyed with one another. I’ll leave dishes in the sink and make a mess of the closet. You’ll chew with your mouth open and never fill up your car with gas until it’s too low. We’re not perfect. But even if we do hurt each other, we forgive each other because that’s what you do. We’re not always gonna like each other and what we do but we’ll always love each other. I don’t want to be mad at you. I want you to feel safe and know that I understand why you did what you did. I do. Please try to let it go, for me.”

“I am trying,” you said quietly. You shut your eyes and turned away, his arm over you pulling you back against his chest. “You’re normal. I can’t just stop hating myself like that.”

“You think I’m normal?” he chuckled. “Me?”

“Did you ever have to punch Dee’s psycho father? Did you ever have to talk about protecting her? Did she ever put your family in danger? Did she ever-”

“Y/N.”

“Go away,” you said, pushing his arm off of you. You moved over farther on your side of the bed, tucking your covers under your chin. The bed shifted and you tried to move again but his arm pulled you straight back to his chest, fingers dipping under your ribcage and holding you in place.

“I might not have had to have done those things for her but I would have. For the record, you didn’t put anyone in danger. That fucking asshole did. It is not your fault he was an evil and vile person. All you did was try to protect us because you were scared and I know, I know you didn’t tell me because you’re so scared of that man and I don’t blame you. He made my skin crawl and I interacted with him for all of five minutes. Get it out of your system however you need to but you are stuck with me forever. There is nothing you could do to make me want you gone so get used to it.”

“You shouldn’t have to deal with this,” you breathed out. You pulled your sheets over your head, taking deep heaving breaths. “You have so much to worry about already. You shouldn’t have to…”

“Did you think I couldn’t handle the news?” he asked. “That your father was so close by?”

“I thought you’d hate me,” you whispered. He tugged down your sheets and you squeezed your eyes shut as he turned you around.

“Look at me.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Now you’re angry.”

“Look at me.” You forced them open, meeting a soft face and sad eyes. “Why would I ever hate you?”

“My shit’s supposed to stay in the past. You don’t…” you said, Jensen furrowing his brow. “See, you’re mad.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Your shit stays in the past.”

“It means you’ve had the world’s worst fucking year and you’re in such a good place now and you need to focus on you and not have my shit come in and fuck that up.”

“Do you think I can’t take care of you?” he asked.

“No of course not.”

“It sounds like you’re saying that you think you can’t have problems cause I can’t handle it.”

“Well at least I got what I wanted with you pissed,” you said, glaring up at him, tears welling in your eyes. You tried to push away but he held his arm around you. “Jensen, let me up.” You pushed again and he glared right back. “Stop it. Let me out of bed.” He only glared and you tore your eyes away from his face.

“Do you think I’m weak?”

“No,” you said, keeping your head low.

“Then why-”

“Because you need a fucking break. I dealt with this shit years and years ago. I understand needing a fucking break and people need to take care of you, help you. You’re a different man than the one I met way back in January. You’re so happy and healthy and you have a different outlook on life again and that’s incredible. I’m so proud of you for that. But you’re just, just out of the woods and I’m not gonna be the one that sends you back in because of my fucking problems.”

“They’re our fucking problems,” he said. “Our problems. There’s no your problems or my problems anymore. It’s us together. Why do you think I’d hate you?”

“Jensen,” you said, pushing on his chest. “Stop.”

“Why?”

“I said stop!”

“Tell me.”

“Because I’m scared,” you said. He let his hold go lax and you sat up, getting out of bed. You walked over to the balcony door and rested your forehead against the cool glass. The bed creaked and you felt his presence behind you.

“You’re scared of me.” You scrunched up your face and nodded. “Why?”

“Because if you realized how fucked up I am, you wouldn’t come near me with a ten foot pole. I’m not supposed to cause you problems. I’m supposed to fix them, be there for you.”

“But I can’t be there for you. You assume I’m just a dick where it’s only me and my shit that we can work on right?” he said.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Relationships go both ways, Y/N. I don’t expect you to take care of me for the rest of my life. You are allowed to need help too.”

“You don’t understand.”

“No, you don’t understand,” he said, grabbing your arm and spinning you around. He was frowning, his voice an octave higher if you didn’t know any better. “Do you honestly think I would have been angry at you if you told me about your father being in town? Do you?”

“I put the kids-”

“For the last time, you didn’t put anyone in danger,” he growled. “What is going on with you?”

“How many times do I have to say it, I’m not supposed to cause any problems!” you said.

“Yes you are! You, me, the kids. We’re all gonna have fucking problems sooner or later. Why do you think I’d hate you for telling me you had a problem, sweetheart?”

You fidgeted with the bottom of your shirt, looking past him.

“Something with your dad, isn’t it. Something got triggered in you after that phone call with the detective, didn’t it.”

“Call Ray. Tell him to come over,” you said quietly. He nodded and grabbed his phone, sending off a quick message before he was guiding you to sit on the bed.

“Honey,” he said when you pulled away from him. “Okay, no touching. Can I get you anything while we wait for Ray?”

“Probably should tell that cop that we’re expecting someone,” you said, rubbing your hands against your thighs. “Fuck, tell Ray it’s the help thing. He’ll understand.”

“Okay,” he said with a nod. You rubbed your legs harder and he stared at you. “Y/N.”

“I’m trying not to have a panic attack,” you grit out. “I haven’t had one since I was eight.”

Your head was turned and you felt his hands on your cheeks, Jensen forcing a smile. You stared for a long beat before you took a breath, his head nodding.

“That feels better,” you said, your hands not rubbing so hard. You heard feet and the door open, glancing behind Jensen to catch Jared in the doorway. You could feel your heart rate pick up, Jared nodding.

“I get panic attacks too,” he said. You nodded and Jensen glanced over his shoulder. “I heard arguing.”

“Can you tell that cop outside Ray is coming by and to let him in?” said Jensen.

“Sure. Who’s Ray?” asked Jared.

“Her mom’s old boyfriend and foster dad. He was her therapist when she was little. Something’s not right,” said Jensen.

“I’ll send him up as soon as he gets here.”

You felt calmer by the time Ray was walking in fifteen minutes later in sweats and not much more.

“Hey kiddo,” said Ray, giving you a quick hug before he squatted down in front of you. “Doing okay?”

You shook your head and shut your eyes, Jensen holding an arm around you. He explained what happened, Ray staying quiet. You eventually opened your eyes to stare at the floor, Ray standing and pulling over the bench from the end of the bed to sit on.

“Y/N do you want Jensen to stay?” he asked. You nodded and he hummed. “Y/N.”

“Yes,” you said dryly. “Can I have some water?”

Jensen got up and retrieved a glass from the bathroom, the pair of them watching you chug half of it down before you sat it on the nightstand.

“Y/N, does Jensen know what triggered you?” he asked.

“Not specifically. Asking for help he figured out but not the reason,” you said, looking away.

“Well on the bright side, you didn’t have a panic attack, you worked through it, you trusted Jensen to help you through it even if he didn’t know why and some of your coping skills helped you out quite a bit. But this is something Jensen needs to know. You’ll need help in a relationship and I know this is the big one but he needs to know so this never happens again,” said Ray.

“What if he thinks I overreacted?” you said.

“I won’t, trust me,” said Jensen. “Secret’s safe with me.”

“Go on, Y/N,” said Ray. You took a deep breath and Jensen held your hand, stroking his thumb over the back.

“So you kinda figured out that me having a problem was the trigger and that I didn’t ask for your help earlier and kinda assumed a bad reaction if I did.”

“Yup and that’s all okay,” he said softly.

“It wasn’t because of you that I assumed you’d have a bad reaction. It was something that happened to me that sort of...default my head to react and anticipate things in a certain way in that particular situation.”

“So if you have a problem and ask for help, you assume the person you’re asking for help from will not take it in a good way?” he asked.

“Yeah, basically. If it’s a really big problem and if I anticipate that the problem would upset the person I’m asking then my head assumes this bad thing will happen. In that case, it assumes the much better option is to not reveal the problem at all and handle it myself because then the bad thing won’t happen,” you said.

“The bad thing. It’s bad isn’t it,” he said. “Really bad.”

“Y/N, remember you can share without the graphics involved,” said Ray. You nodded and leaned your head back.

“When I was six I broke something of my dad’s. A mug. His favorite mug. I picked up the pieces but I knew it was his favorite so I didn’t throw it out. I asked him for help putting it back together,” you said. “The amount of rage he had over a broken mug...I never experienced such a horrible day in all eight years as that one.”

He didn’t say anything and you tucked your feet up, holding one up to him and showing the bottom. He stared at it and cocked his head, narrowing his eyes. It took him a moment but you saw when he noticed the small little scars. His eyes flickered back to yours and you nodded.

“He hurt me badly,” you said. “All day long.” He stared at you and you told him exactly the way the scars came to be, Jensen shuddering and closing his eyes. “It wasn’t a good day.”

“Fuck,” he said, standing up and rubbing his arm. “You were six?”

He shook his head and went to the balcony door, taking a deep breath.

“Jensen. You alright?” asked Ray.

“No,” he said, turning around, looking to you. “That many times?”

“One for every broken piece,” you said. He ran his hands over his face and shut his eyes. “The worst thing was just that it went on all day. It was long enough for me to interpret it as conditioning for a result of an event rather than just a bad memory from everything me and Ray worked out back in the day. It hasn’t been a trigger for me ever really but we knew it could be someday for a big life problem potentially. I’m guessing with it involving my dad, it kinda sent me into overdrive earlier.”

“Jensen,” said Ray, shooting you a quick glance. “Y/N’s okay. I’m actually quite impressed with her behavior. There was no hesitancy or waiver in her voice. I don’t feel as though this will likely be an issue ever again now that it’s out in the open and her father is gone.”

“You’re the closest thing to a father she’s ever had,” said Jensen, rubbing the back of his neck. “You know every horrible thing that’s happened to her and, and you just...all you did was throw him out of the country for fifteen years?”

“First off, the law was different back then and it was a lifetime ban. Second of all, buddy, violence isn’t always the answer to violence,” said Ray, getting to his feet.

“You should have adopted her.”

“She didn’t want me to.”

“You were the damn adult. She was the kid. Act like one,” said Jensen. “I mean fuck, you adopted two other kids only a few years later.”

“If I had adopted her you wouldn’t even know she fucking exists,” shot back Ray. “Her father still would have come back and this would have happened regardless.”

“You should have done what you needed to the second he popped up again when she was a teenager.”

“I did not strike you as a violent man but I do not like it.”

“She was almost assaulted by that man again tonight,” growled Jensen. “He tortured her and tormented her and he got barely any time at all for that. I would have-”

“Why’d you call the police then?” he asked. Jensen swallowed and Ray shrugged. “Why back at the farmhouse did you call the police? You could have killed him, called it self-defense and been done with it. Why?”

Jensen looked down and Ray sighed.

“The price for being a good person is making hard decisions, Jensen. Would I have loved to have rid the world of that son of a bitch the second I learned all about him? Oh you don’t know the half of it. I’m a trauma therapist, Jensen. Mostly for kids and teenagers. Do you know how much fucked up shit I’ve heard in my life? The world has so much ugliness in it. But it’s got good too and that’s why you called the police like you were supposed to and that’s why she loves you. She needs a good man, not a violent one. I’m not saying don’t think about protecting your family. But don’t act on it unless you don’t have a fucking choice, kid. Understand me?”

Jensen nodded and Ray cleared his throat.

“Say it.”

“Yes, sir,” said Jensen quietly.

“Ray, don’t get mad at him. He’s not used to this stuff,” you said. You stood and pulled Jensen back to the bed, Ray crossing his arms and nodding. “If I ever feel this happening again, what should I do?”

“You could work on reconditioning instead,” said Ray. “Work on saying I have a problem to Jensen and ask for help, even if there isn’t a problem. If Jensen responds positively or even neutrally and you two work at it maybe an hour or so a day for the next week or two, I don’t think you’ll ever have to be afraid of that trigger coming back. All of your triggers Y/N have involved your father. I know similarities can set you off but they’re small, manageable. You never have to worry about anyone hurting you ever again.”

“I know. I should have trusted my partner to have my back,” you said.

“I don’t blame you. I didn’t before and I definitely don’t now,” said Jensen. Ray smiled and pulled the bench back over to the bed.

“Get some rest you two,” he said.

“Ray?” you said after he gave you a hug. “Why didn’t you adopt me?”

“Honestly?” he asked. You nodded, Jensen preening his ears. “You reminded me so much of your mother and I was devastated when we lost her. I should have been the adult and done what was right but after seeing her in pain for years...I didn’t have it in me to take on a grieving teenager that would have been just as angry back at me. She already was so angry then, I would have put fuel on the flames. I didn’t have it in me to be strong anymore and that’s my mistake for not trying.”

“You can adopt adults,” said Jensen. You both looked at him and he smiled. “Adults can be adopted.”

“Not sure if…” trailed off Ray as you smiled at him. “Y/N, we’ve only just started talking again.”

“Maybe if that keeps going well...maybe things could...work out…” you said. “If you wanted.”

“Yeah, maybe we can do that,” he said with a smile. “It’s getting late. Put her to bed. Don’t be surprised if there’s a nightmare or two tonight.”

“Okay. Thank you,” said Jensen as Ray started to leave.

“Take care of her kid,” he said. Jensen nodded and you lay back in bed, the house growing quiet.

“I’m so sorry,” said Jensen, his head lowering after a few moments. “I should have realized…”

“You did realize,” you said, sitting up. “Even when my head couldn’t come out and say I trust you and I know I’m acting a certain way because of what my dad put me through, you stayed calm and figured it out. You got nothing to be sorry for.”

“I’m sorry he hurt you. I got to pretend to be a cowboy and my dad read me stories when I was six. The worst thing I ever got was a few smacks but I know he regrets doing that,” he said. “Even then it was because I was acting out not…I just don’t understand why he would ever hurt you.”

“I stopped trying to understand him a long time ago,” you said, the door opening. You both turned, Arrow walking in with a pair of wet eyes. “You have a nightmare, sweetie?”

“I went…to the bathroom…” she said when you noticed her holding her wrist. Jensen hopped up and walked over, picking her up gently and setting her beside you. “I fell down off the step stool. It was wet.”

“Tell me what hurts,” he said.

“My hand,” she said.

“Let daddy see,” you said. She moved her hand back and you both saw her wrist was swollen and bruised. Jensen swore under his breath and guided her hand back on it. “Okay, you hold it if it feels better that way, honey. Daddy, I think Arrow should go to urgent care.”

“Arrow, why don’t you go get your dolly and we’ll bring her with us. We might have to wait a minute,” he said. “Be careful okay? I’ll come get you in just a minute.”

“Mommy?” she asked, staring up at you.

“Mommy’s really tired-” said Jensen when you stood up.

“Uncle Jared is staying over though, daddy. Go get your dolly and mommy and daddy will get dressed,” you said. She sniffled but climbed down okay, Jensen sighing when she left the room. “She wants me there and I want to be there. I’m going.”

“Alright but you’re going to try and get some sleep in the waiting room at least, please.”

“No promises.”

________

A/N: Read Part 17 here!

#spn #supernatural #jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen x reader #jensen series #rpf #rpf series #spn fanfic #jensen ackles fanfic #supernatural fanfic

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jinmukangwrites · 3 years ago

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@damianwayneweek Day 2 (6-14): Undercover | Sibling rivalry | Damian having a nice day

Warnings: Mentions of trafficking, threats, violence, attempted kidnapping, injuries, healthy doses of angst

Note: hahahahaha once again I'm begging you all to pretend I posted this when it's still the 14th somewhere in the world. Please enjoy.

---

Damian didn't mean to get caught. Honest. As annoying as it is, he understands that there are certain parts of their nightlife that have to be handled by an adult. Going undercover, for one, is usually something that's left to Grayson. It's easier for adults to blend into some things than it is for... well... Teenagers.

Children, as Grayson would say. Even though Damian is not a child.

Not that it matters, however. Grayson, for the past week, has been putting off their normal patrols to get insider information on a recent underground trafficking scheme. Grayson has been working hard to find the people responsible for this and get on the inside to find where the victims are being kept and Damian had respected that. He's kept to the sidelines and worked on other cases that don't require so much adult delicacy.

The only issue was that tonight he ended up getting bored. There wasn't anything for him to do, and that butler wasn't giving him any useful suggestions to fill his time. He wasn't allowed to patrol alone while Grayson was undercover, but escaping through his bedroom window in a dark hoodie was simple enough.

One thing leads to another. He ended up walking into an alleyway where a man was getting rather forceful with a drunk woman. Damian was jogging forward and calling him out on the disgusting behavior before he even realized he recognized the profile of the man.

Grayson turned from the woman with wide, horrified eyes, not moving a muscle even as the woman slipped from beside him and rushed back into the bar's side door.

"Shit," is all Grayson said before more people came out from the shadows, and Damian realizes he's just stumbled upon Grayson's undercover work.

Damian, for all of his training, has no idea what to do as he's suddenly grabbed by one of the newcomers. He's just witnessed Grayson in his undercover work... attempting to kidnap a woman... and he shouldn't be here.

"The fuck did this brat come from," the man grabbing Damian sneers.

Damian reacts instinctively now, slamming his elbow back into their gut. The man wheezes and weakens his hold. Damian then ducks under a new pair of arms making a mad grab for him and is sure to trip them over onto the cement ground as they stumble past.

A beefier man charges at Damian like a bull, and he prepares to retaliate... only for Grayson to grab him by his arm and shove Damian behind his back.

"Wait," Grayson gasps, bringing his free hand up in front of him. The man stops in his tracks, as do all the others. "It's my... brother."

"Your brother?" A woman scoffs, and Grayson gives her a hard look.

A mean looking man steps forward, glaring daggers at Grayson. "What's he doin' here Malone? Thought'chu said you weren't followed."

"I'm sorry," Grayson says, sounding panicked. Damian wants to jump out from behind Grayson and give these kidnappers a piece of his mind. There can't be more than seven of them. Damian can take them with his hands tied behind his back. Grayson must sense this, because he tightens his hold on his arm. "I thought he was at home."

"Well, he wasn't," the man snarls. "And now that bitch is probably in there telling the barkeep some guy got handsy with her."

Grayson shakes his head. "She isn't. I paid off the barkeep. If we calm down, I can go back in there and finish the job. Danny here won't say anything, he knows what we have to do to survive these streets. Right, Danny?"

Damian's lips thin, but he nods. Damian doesn't know why Richard is acting all frightful right now. Has he forgotten the legacy of Damian's father that he holds? He carries the name of Batman, yet here he is looking like a frightened animal in front of these low-lives. He wants to argue and take down these imbeciles... but if there's one thing he's learned while in his ever lengthening stay in Gotham, Grayson usually has a reason for everything he does. If he thinks they need to act like they're frightened, then Damian will humor him. For now.

The man looks down from Grayson and gives Damian a narrowed look. It lasts only a moment before he looks at the bar side-door and... smirks?

He looks back at Grayson, keeping that smirk. "Alright, Malone. I'll take you up on that offer. You get the bitch, and we'll take care of Danny."

A bad feeling settles in Damian's gut. The hand on his arm tightens even more, proof that Grayson has the same bad feeling. They don't have a chance to say anything about it, however, before the man strides forward and grabs Damian by his other arm; yanking him away from Grayson and towards the big man.

Grayson shoots them a murderous glare, but doesn't come to Damian's aid as the big man tightens both of his hands on Damian's biceps. His pointer fingers press just under his shoulders, and he swears his pinkies wrap close to Damian's elbows.

"Go on," the talkative man says, jerking his head to the door, showing his rotting teeth in a grin. "Get the bitch."

Grayson shoots a look Damian's way, then nods. "Okay," he says placidly. "Okay." He turns his back and starts towards the door.

Then, the man looks at another in their group and nods his head. The man's cheeks rise like a Cheshire cat before he starts towards Grayson, raising a fist.

"Grayson! Look out!" Damian shouts. Grayson, for his part, reacts immediately. He ducks under the blow and side steps his attacker.

However, that's all Damian sees before the man that has him in his grasp changes position quite suddenly so that Damian is practically hanging in his grasp—an arm the size of a log wrapped around his neck. Damian's hands fly to the arm and he attempts to kick his feet for purchase. His air is already cut off, and he curses himself for getting in a situation like this.

He stills, however, when something cold and metal is pressed against his head by the man's free hand. Through blurry eyes and choking gasps, he notices Grayson has gone still too.

"I knew you were fishy," the man from before cackled. "Grayson? That your real name?"

Grayson glares, but doesn't move.

"Here's what's gonna happen, you're gon let us do whatever we want wit'cha, and maybe we'll let the kid live after."

And just like that, Grayson is at the receiving end of a savage blow to his jaw from another member of the group. Grayson stumbles and clutches his jaw, but he doesn't fight back even as another jumps in and throws their own punch. Damian can already see blood dripping down his cheek from a cut in the skin.

He's hit again, and he continues to not fight back. Damian knows he'll take the beating, even though he can easily take them down. He won't risk the gun pressed against Damian's head. He won't risk the arm wrapped so right around Damian's neck it feels like he's breathing through a coffee straw.

A particularly savage punch has Grayson falling to the floor, scraping his hands, elbows, and knees on the rough and suspiciously wet asphalt. Damian growls and digs his nails into the arms of his captor, but they tighten the grip threateningly and his struggles are forced to come to a stop.

Pathetic. Idiotic. Childish. This is Damian's fault. Every blow that hits Grayson's body as punches are replaced by kicks might as well be dealt by Damian himself.

He argues with Grayson. Calls him out on not acting how his father would. He calls him incompetent, insignificant, idiotic... but some time these past few weeks the bite he means to carry with those words have turned fond.

He... He likes Grayson. He's the first person to show Damian unconditional kindness... other than his own mother. While being stuck here with him rather than his own father had, at first, been miserable and annoying... it's turned out to be... fun. For the first time in his life, he almost feels like a normal kid with Grayson here to lead him along the way.

Damian wonders at night if that's what his mother intended. Why she hasn't taken him back yet.

He doesn't mind it. He likes the time that he spends with Grayson now, even if he would never admit it. And here he is, helpless and unarmed as Grayson is being beaten to a bloody pulp all because Damian couldn't listen to instructions and snuck out when he shouldn't have.

For a moment, pure terror fills Damian's veins that he's most likely going to witness the death of Grayson tonight. If he tries to fight his captor, he'll get a bullet in his brain. If Grayson decides to fight back, then Damian would die anyways. Grayson wouldn't do that. He would rather die himself.

Another blow hits Grayson's body, and he lays on the ground and groans, unmoving for a worrying few seconds.

Then, the bar door slams open and the woman from before runs out with fire in her dark eyes. No one has a chance to do anything before she kicks the main guy in the jaw, sending him down to the floor with more force than any woman... or man... should have.

Damian doesn't question it. The rest of them are distracted by her sudden entrance, and Damian uses that to his advantage. He throws his hands up and grabs at his captor's distracted face and claws at his eyes. The man yowls and drops Damian, leaving Damian completely free to make his own attack. He easily disarms him and jumps onto his back, wrapping his own arms around the man's neck and squeezing as tightly as he can.

It's all over in a matter of seconds. The man falls unconscious in Damian's grasp, and the woman finishes taking out the others.

She was in on this whole thing too, Damian realizes as she rushes towards Grayson's still form and grabs his arm.

Grayson blinking slowly at her through already bruising eyes and whispering "Donna..." is all the proof Damian needs to confirm his suspicion.

"I got you, boy wonder," Donna says fondly. She helps him to his feet and wraps his arm firmly around her shoulders, helping him stand. She looks at Damian. "You got a way to get us out of here, squirt? The cops are gonna be on their way any minute."

"What-" Damian starts, then pauses. Shame fills his gut. "What about the mission?"

"It's fine," Grayson says with a pained strain in his voice. "They're low in the chain. Won't be missed in prison. Can't give much away. I'll-" he cuts off to gasp as Donna shifts her hold on him. "I'll just try again later."

Damian nods, but the guilt doesn't leave. He looks away from Grayson and Donna to pull out his phone and request Pennyworth send the Batmobile to their position.

The entire way back to the manor is filled with tense silence, broken only by Grayson's hissed curses and groans as Donna helps give immediate first aid to the worst of the bruises and cuts.

Damian... he messed up. He disobeyed Richard and ruined the mission. This woman, Donna, is a better companion to Grayson than Damian ever was. Or will be. They get along. She's kind. She was trusted enough by Grayson to bring her in on his solo mission, and she clearly trusted him enough to go along with it and let herself be captured.

Grayson will never trust him as much as her. He's... He's fucked it all up. He won't want Damian around anymore. He'll want to send him back to the League, and if his mother and grandfather don't take him then his suit and the name of Robin must surely now be forfeit.

Drake will take back the suit, and Damian will forever be left behind by the man he thought... He hoped...

Sitting by his bedside after assisting Pennyworth in dressing Grayson's wounds... he mulls these thoughts over in his head. Grayson is fast asleep, and Donna has retreated upstairs for a shower and dinner by Pennyworth's insistence.

Then, as he's considering leaving so he's not the first thing Grayson sees when he wakes up, a hand grabs hold onto his.

"Don't blame yourself," Grayson whispers, blinking through his puffed up and exhausted eyes. Damian wonders how long he's been sitting here with his thoughts and when Grayson started to awaken without him noticing. "You have the same look in your eyes... That B always did..."

Heat flairs behind Damian's eyelids. He bursts. "But this is my fault. If I hadn't gone out- if I had listened-"

Suddenly, his hand is jerked, and Damian is dragged onto the cot and into Grayson's arms. He attempts to fight the hold, but Grayson holds tight despite his injuries.

"Mistakes happen," Grayson says, "they always do. I will never give up on you, Dames. No matter how many you make. Trust me on that."

He sounds so very much in pain, but he's relentless in his hold. All Damian can do is stop his struggling and lay in Grayson's grasp. His brain studies the words said to him, and his heart wants to believe him. Guilt pools to his throat and he opens his mouth to let it out before he can stop himself.

"I'm sorry," he chokes. He doesn't know when he started to return the hold Grayson had him in. His hands are bunched in the material of Grayson's shirt.

Grayson shushes him. "It's okay," he says. "What's done is done, and we've learned. We're okay. I got you."

And perhaps it's the moment of weakness, but Damian can't help but believe him.

#damianwayneweek2021 #damian wayne #dick grayson #robin #nightwing #dc comics #jin writes #fanfiction #violence tw #kidnapping tw #held at gunpoint #guns tw #im just in the mood for batman!dick and robin!damian angst this week huh?#hopefully donna being here made sense lmao

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oikirstein · 4 years ago

Text

𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 | 𝐫.𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐚

PAIRING: suna x fem!reader

SYNOPSIS: It was a quiet night you were to have—until Suna came knocking on your door at 11 PM.

CONTAINS: angst, drugs (weed), suggestive content, tw: kissing, shotgunning, suna’s mom’s honda odyssey

WORD COUNT: 3,097

A/N: this bad boy is dedicated to my sussy little baka @hikariakaashi giggles (derogatory). you’ve been going through a suna brain rot recently and when i told you my fantasy about shotgunning with suna, you encouraged me to write it, so here it is chuckles immensely. i hope u like it ily :biteslip:

big thank you to @kyotarou for beta reading and giving me mini heart attacks & to @hajigumi for making my header after saying it was ugly (/j) <3

The silence of your room was peaceful. The stars shone brightly outside your balcony window, moonlight glistening through the translucent curtains. It wasn’t absurd for you to be all by lonesome, it was only natural for the daughter of a CEO to find herself busy with things that didn’t concern the family. They were raising you to be an heir after all, a feat that required independence to be a shining skill. Still, standing in an empty room, it was a lonely situation to be living in. You were grateful to have such a future practically placed in the palms of your hands, but you wished there was something more. You wanted to experience what it was like to break free from the shackles of responsibility and keeping up appearances. A lot of your time was spent wondering if things would’ve been different had you been given a choice, but unfortunately, life did not give you the option to change the past.

That’s why you were so thankful to have heard the light knock that originated from the wood of your balcony door. A light flinch overtook your body at the sound, like you were anticipating his presence. You tiptoed your way over to the door, your warm hand radiating heat onto cool metal of the doorknob. With your ear pressed to the wood, a soft giggle fell from your lips.

“Who is it?” you teased, knowing full well who was on your terrace at this late hour.

“Why don’t you open up the door and see for yourself?” You could practically see the smirk that played on his face.

Without hesitation, you swung the door open so fast the hinges didn’t have the chance to creak. You jumped into his arms at first glance, him carrying you with ease. “Rintaro! What are you doing here?”

He placed you back down on your feet before taking your hand in his and bringing it up to his lips, “It’s a beautiful night, is it not?”

You blushed at the contact of his soft lips on your skin, anxiety washing over you as you scanned the perimeter.

“What if someone sees us?”

“Well, no one’s gonna catch us if we aren’t here for them to catch,” he whispered, jerking his head to the side as if to insinuate they were going to leave the property.

If someone had caught you with a boy—the boy being Suna, no less—you surely would’ve been reprimanded by your father. On the other hand, the past couldn’t be changed, and the consequences of the future were for a different you to worry about. What was life without a little risk anyway?

“You mean like...sneaking out?” You warily looked around as you shut the door, the click of the knob sealing your fate.

He lightly grabbed hold of your hand and started his way down the stairs of your parapet. “Well how else would we spend today?”

You followed him, hand in hand, through all the twists and turns that presented themselves in your garden, until you reached the outermost edge of the estate.

Suna promptly released your grip, intertwining his own fingers to hoist you over the wall, “After you.”

You held onto his shoulder as you stepped onto him, “Such a gentleman,” and climbed over the wall with ease.

Rintaro swiftly followed you, using his upper body to lift himself above the marble. After dusting his hands off on his jeans, he led you to the street just beyond the backyard.

As you approached the vehicle, he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry it’s nothing fancy. All I had was my mom’s old Honda,” you gave him an apologetic smile to reassure him that trivial things such as car brands didn’t matter. He stepped in front you to open the passenger door, waiting for you to be all settled in before winking. “But don’t worry, she won’t be back home until next month,” then he shut the door.

Your eyes followed him as he walked around the front of the minivan to get to the driver’s side, “What? What do you mean? Sunarin! Why does it matter if she’s not home!”

All he could do was laugh as he opened his own door. Hopping into the car and resting his wrist on the steering wheel, his eyes made a quick glance at the center console before putting his seatbelt on and starting the ignition. “Like I said, princess, it’s a beautiful night.”

The silence of the drive was peaceful. It was a comforting kind of silence, the kind that enveloped you in warmth. Everything felt okay in this abyss of quiet because you were in this abyss together.

You leaned your head against the window, feeling the cold air of night permeating through the glass before you sighed. “Say, how long until we reach our destination?”

Rintaro shifted in his seat, placing his right elbow on the armrest of the door and placing his head in his palm. He darted his eyes to you and back to the road with a smile, “Be patient. Good things come to those who wait.”

Sitting up straight, you crossed your arms over your chest and imitated a child’s pout. “Well can you at least tell me what we’re gonna do?”

He looked at you, then to the center console, then back at you before shrugging his shoulders. It was like giving a dog a bone. You squinted your eyes at him before untangling your arms and snaking your finger over to the medium and clicking it open. In the corner of your vision, you could see Suna trying to stifle a laugh. Curiosity getting the best of you, you leaned over to look into it, and your eyes widened at the sight.

“Seriously?” you rolled your eyes at him.

As you pulled into what seemed like a forest, he threw his head back in a guffaw.

“What? There’s no better way to celebrate, baby.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and gave you a kiss on your temple before pulling the keys out of the ignition. “Are you ready?”

“Ready for what?” You mimicked his actions and took your seatbelt off.

“Look up.”

You questioned his statement for a second before looking up through the panoramic sunroof of his mom’s Honda Odyssey.

“Oh my god. It’s beautiful.” Your eyes were full of wonder, much like a child, as you stared at the dazzling pink moon above you. “How did you find this place?”

He looked up for a moment, pretending to be lost in thought. “I dunno. Just came across it I guess.”

“Who would’ve thought I’d be alive to witness such a phenomenon!” You giggled, gazing at the sky once more. Turning to Suna, who was staring at you, you commented, “For real, it’s so pretty.”

“Not as pretty as you though.”

He was so suave sometimes it made you itch. Scoffing at him, you chose to ignore what he said, instead holding your hand out and saying, “Oh shut up and pass me a lighter.”

Suna dug his hands into the console and once he had everything in his hands, he motioned for you to shut the top. You watched him diligently as he twisted the grinder, once, twice, three times before taking a wrapper out of the packaging and running his tongue on it. He has such nice hands, you thought as the veins flexed against his bones. He laid the paper flat onto the leather and snapped his gaze back at you.

“Hey, pay attention. How’re you gonna do this by yourself if you’re too busy looking at me, hm?” He loved to tease you, loved to see the heat rise to your cheeks when he took advantage of a perfect moment—loved to fluster you speechless. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He took your silence as you admitting defeat, no retort coming to mind. Chuckling at your scrunched eyebrows and focused eyes, he took the wrapper back into his palm and unscrewed the grinder to sprinkle the weed onto the paper. With a steady hand, he placed the container down and rolled up the blunt. Suna tucked the edges of the paper into itself, and taking the lavender lighter that sat on the dashboard, he ran his thumb across the sparkwheel, running the flame across the wrapper.

Once he was done, he held the blunt between his thumb and index finger, taking a look at his proud work. Placing his elbow on the console, he slowly flicked his wrist to your side, ushering you to take the blunt from his fingers. Holding it with your left hand, he placed the lighter in your right. You paused before placing the blunt in between your lips, “I don’t know Rin, I just can’t imagine a world where you don’t roll for me,” you shrugged your shoulders, finally making contact with the paper. As you lit the end of the blunt in the darkness of the car, you couldn’t help but wither at the flame. You never really noticed in the daylight, how fast the light goes out. It was strikingly more apparent in the dark. Before you knew it, your eyes had shut and the flame was out. Perhaps at this moment you could’ve made some cliche anecdote about how life was like a flame, and it would be out before you knew it, so it was best to make the warmth last, but you were just so entirely encapsulated by it’s light that it was gone before you even had time to think about it.

You took a deep inhale, closing your eyes and clearing your thoughts as you let the smoke simmer in your throat, only exhaling when you felt as though you couldn’t breathe anymore.

“That’s my good girl. Seems like you did learn a thing or two from hanging out with a rascal like me.”

You rolled your eyes at him, increasingly getting closer to his body. “As if I had baby lungs before we met.”

A low chuckle erupted from his chest. Watching you take another hit, eyes drunk on the sight of you, he patted lightly on his thighs. You smiled at him, vapor spilling from your teeth, and lifted your body over the middle separation of the car. With you now straddling his legs, he placed his rough palms on your waist, holding onto your skin as if he was afraid to let go. You wrapped your arms loosely around his shoulders and he brought his hand up to brush his thumb against your lip. Gently pulling you in, he settled your soft lips on his, feeling his lungs fill with the smoke from yours. It was slow, the moment feeling everlasting as your bodies moved in sync and your tongues brushed against each other. You pulled apart for a moment, the taste still lingering while Suna turned his head to the side and exhaled.

He looked back up at you with stinging eyes, words could not possibly describe how beautiful you looked under the glowing pink moon. He pulled you in once more, this time more forceful. Teeth clashing and saliva spilling—he couldn’t get enough of you. You held the sides of his face with the heels of your palms, kneeling on the seat below you, desperately wanting to get closer. Suna drew back from your lips with a pop, only to come back and run his tongue all the way down your jawline and neck. Quiet moans ruptured from your throat as he sucked and nipped at the skin. You brought the joint to your lips and sucked on the end until the tip was bright red, only exhaling when Rintaro bit your shoulder.

Playfully smacking his arm, you winced, “Ow!”

He kissed the area as if to soothe the pain, “Sorry, princess, you just taste so good.”

“Yeah right, you smooth piece of shit,” you said, taking the joint in your lips again.

Suna removed himself from you, taking the blunt from your fingers and taking a hit himself. “C’mon, babe, save some for me.”

You cupped his cheek with one hand, the other exploring his chest, while you smooched his cheek and nuzzled your face into his neck, “As if you can’t roll one for yourself,” you purred.

Taking the last few inhales, he placed the remainder of the joint in the ashtray that sat in the cupholder. Rin hooked his index finger under your chin and pressed a quick kiss to your nose, “Where’s the fun in that?” He wrapped his arms around your shoulders, your arms snaking around his waist, and rested his chin on your head. “Y’know, I’m really gonna miss moments like these.”

You sighed against his chest, “You’re talking like we’re splitting up.”

“Well we don’t really have a choice, do we? You’re gonna go study at some prestigious school in France, and I’m…” the strands of your hair flew askew as he exhaled above your head, “...staying here.”

You sat up, straddling his lap once again, bringing yourself eye level to Suna. “I’m coming back, you know that.” You caressed your thumb on his cheek and felt your chest ache when he leaned into your touch, like he was desperate for you to stay. “So don’t talk like we’re never going to see each other again.”

He raised his hand to hold yours and kissed the inside of your wrist tenderly. “Yeah, we’re going to see each other again, but we’re not going to be the same again.”

You didn’t know how to respond. You racked your brain for rebuttals, yet nothing came to mind. All you knew was that you couldn’t lie to him—you didn’t have the heart to. What good would come of lying to the person you loved?

“C’mon, princess, say something. Don’t...don’t let me overthink like this. My head,” you heard him sniffle against your ear. “I keep thinking about all these things—about the future, and, baby, I just can’t see one without you.”

He trembled beneath you, hoping that you didn’t have to see him cry. You didn’t want to look up at him either, afraid that if you let go, you’d never feel his warmth again.

“Rin, please...please don’t say that.” You clutched onto the fabric of his shirt tighter, indulging in the scent of his fabric softener. “You’re making it hard for me to say goodbye,” you pleaded.

He was no better, begging with every word that fell from his lips. “Would it be so selfish of me to want you to stay?”

You lifted your head from his shoulder, wiping your cheeks with your sleeves before taking on the courage to look at his face. His eyes were stained red, bloodshot from the tears that poured. He bit his lip as a last ditch attempt to stop it from quivering—he didn’t want you to see him so...weak.

“Baby…” you whispered, hands finding their way to his face, rubbing away the wetness on his skin. You lowered your head and pressed your foreheads together. Letting out a dry laugh, your breath brushed against the tip of his nose. “Why are you making this so hard for me?”

The rest of the night was a blur of grasps and heartbroken refusals to say farewell.

The silence of the drive was anything but peaceful. Both of you dreaded the moment the rumble of the engine would cease—both of you dreaded the moment you’d have to say your final goodbye. The air was dense, with a sort of sadness that was too heavy to feel all at once. Almost like if one of you had spoken, you’d break down all together. It seemed as if the evening was all jumbled together—the car ride was reminiscent of a limbo you were both stuck in, like the minutes were slowed and rushed at the same time.

Like everything in life, all good things must come to an end. As you watched the image of your home enlarge from the distance, your heart sank to your feet. The moment was inevitable, and yet you hoped it would never come.

The minivan came to a stop in the exact same place it was when he had picked you up. Suna remained unmoving in his seat, hesitant to turn the keys in the ignition to the off position. Once the car stilled, your eyes glanced at the man to your right, tears threatening to spill from your waterline. Your hand wandered down to the lock of your seatbelt, wincing with your eyelids shut at the sound of the click—an action that forced streams to fall down your cheeks. The thick fabric whipped to your side, freeing you from the atmosphere that suffocated you, but you lingered in your spot. There was a ringing in your ears, and you were sure that Rintaro could hear it too. The smooth plastic of the door handle which you reluctantly hooked your fingers around burned against your skin. Everything felt sedated. Reality felt altered. Nothing felt real. The second you tore your eyes away from in front of you, Suna unbuckled his seatbelt and threw it to the side. He grabbed a hold on your wrist, using his other hand to bring your face to his.

Your bodies pressed together, fingers tangling in each other’s hair, clothes, and anything you could grab onto to bring the other closer. Your hearts raced, lips embracing in a delicate hold, breaths leaving your mouths in sync. It was no longer static. Everything felt warm. Everything felt happy. For the first time in what felt like forever, everything felt okay.

One last time, you broke free, instantly feeling colder. Your foreheads rested against each other, unwilling to leave the car and unwilling to let the other go.

You kissed his nose, feeling him smile under your touch. “Whatever happens during these next few years, promise me we’ll find each other again,” you whispered in the dark.

He kissed your cheek, releasing you from his grip and rubbing your shoulder, a gesture that let you know he was ready to say goodbye. “I’ll find you in every lifetime, this one is no different.”

You slowly pulled the door handle and hopped out, leaning over your seat to give him one last kiss. “Don’t forget about me,” you giggled as you shut the car behind you and rushed to make it back to your room before sunrise.

“I love you,” Suna whispered as he watched you fade from view.

reblogs are greatly appreciated <3

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daggerzine · 3 years ago

Text

MY FAVORITE RECORDS OF 2021!

MY 20 FAVORITE RECORDS OF 2021

Ducks Ltd- Modern Fiction (Carpark)

Chime School- S/T (Slumberland)

Monnone Alone- Stay Foggy (Emotional Response)

The Chills- Scatterbrain (Fire)

Lucy Dacus- Home Video (Matador)

The Reds, Pinks & Purples- Uncommon Weather (Slumberland)

Civic- Future Forecast (Flightless)

Florry- Big Fall (12XU)

Rachel Love- Picture in Mind (self released)

The Umbrellas- S/T (Slumberland)

Swansea Sound- Live from the Rum Puncheon (HHBTM)

Shoestrings- Expectations (Shelflife)

Dummy- Mandatory Enjoyment (Trouble in Mind)

The Catenary Wires- Birling Gap (Shelflife)

The Exbats- Now Where Were We (Goner)

Lou Barlow- Reason To Live (Joyful Noise)

Smoke Bellow- Open for Business (Trouble in Mind)

Massage- Still Life (Mt St. Mtn)

Divine Horsemen- Hot Rise of an Ice Cream Phoenix (In the Red)

Quivers- Golden Doubt (Ba Da Bing)

WAIT HERE’S 20 MORE (21-40)

Flowertown- Time Trials (Paisley Shirt)

Chris Brokaw- Puritan (12XU)

The Armoires- Incognito (Big Stir)

The Legal Matters- Chapter Three (Futureman)

Soursob- S/T (Hozac)

The Suncharms- Distant Lights (Sunday Records)

The Boys with the Perpetual Nervousness- Songs From Another Life (Bobo Integral)

John Sharkey III- Shoot Out The Camera (12XU)

Karen Peris- A Song Is Way Above the Lawn (Bella Union)

Grand Drifter- Only Child (Subjangle)

Wavves- Hideaway (Fat Possum)

Boyracer- Assauged (Emotional Response)

The Black Watch- Here & There (Atom Records)

The Scientists- Negativity (In the Red)

Astral Brain- The Bewildered Mind (Shelflife)

Torres- Thirstier (Merge)

Painted Shrines- Heaven and Holy (Woodsist)

Sorrows- Love Too Late…the real album (Big Stir)

Beach Youth- Postcard (Shelflife)

Chubby & the Gang- The Mutt’s Nuts (PTFK)

WAIT….HERE’S 25 MORE (41-65)

The Telephone Numbers- The Ballad of Doug (Meritorio)

Naked Raygun- Over the Overlords (Wax Trax)

Kevin Robertson- Sundown’s End (Futureman)

Goon Sax- Mirror II (Matador)

Dolph Chaney- This is Dolph Chaney (Big Stir)

The Brothers Steve- - Dose (Big Stir)

Guardian Singles- S/T (Trouble in Mind)

Matthew Sweet- Catspaw (Omnivore)

The Orange Peels- Celebrate the Moments Of Your Life (Minty Fresh)

Mythical Motors- A Rare Look Ahead (self released)

The Swindon Lot- The Scariana Trench (Braxeling)

Corvair- S/T (Paper Walls/ WIAIWYA)

Kiwi Jr- Cooler Returns (Sub Pop)

Dinosaur Jr- Sweep it into Space (Jagjaguwar)

The Reflectors- Faster Action (Time for Action Records)

Eleventh Dream Day- Since Grazed (Thrill Jockey)

Damon & Naomi with Kurihara – A Sky Record (self released)

Scott Gagner- Bloodmoon (1977)

The Spires- Era Was (Artificial Light)

Ward White- The Tender Age (VF 14 Records)

The Gerunds- Hitsville, PA (Uranium Rush)

David Christian & the Pinecone Orchestra- For Those We Met On the Way (Tapete)

Motorists- Surrounded (Bobo Integral)

The Bevis Frond- Little Eden (Fire)

Teenage Fanclub- Endless Arcade (Merge)

MY 10 FAVORITE COLLECTIONS

The Jazz Butcher- Dr Cholmondley Repents… (Fire Records)

Tar- Tar Box (Chunklet)

The Dents- 1979-’80 Cincinnati (Hozac)

Monkey 101- Rust, Smuts and Heart Rot (Sister Raygun)

True West- Kaleidoscope of Shadows: The Story So Far (Bring Out the Dead)

Trini Lopez- The Rare Reprise Singles (Omnivore)

The Palace Guard- All Night Long: An Anthology 1965-1967 (Omnivore)

Tangled Shoelaces Turn My Dial - The M Squared Recordings and more, 1981-84 (Chapter Music)

Linda Smith- Till Another Time: 1988-1996 (Captured Tracks)

Well Wishers- Spare Parts (self released)

MY 10 FAVORITE REISSUES

Versus- Let’s Electrify! (Teenbeat)

Come- Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (Fire)

The Saints- The Most Primitive Band in the World (Radiation)

The Clean- Boodle, Boodle Boodle and Tally Ho 7’ (both on Merge)

Lilys- A Brief History of Amazing Letdowns (Frontier Records)

The Gun Club- Fire of Love and Miami (Blixa Sounds)

Adam Roth and his and of Men- Down the Shore, Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (Hozac)

Oh OK- The Complete Reissue (HHBTM)

Richard Hell & the Voidoids- Destiny Street (Omnivore)

Colin Blunstone- One Year (Sundazed)

MY 10 FAVORITE EPs/singles

Ducks Ltd- Get Bleak (Carpark)

Tapes Waves- Bright (Emotional Response)

Jetstream Pony- Misplaced Words (Shelflife)

Massage- Lane Lines (Mt St Mtn)

Papercuts-Baxter’s Bliss (self released)

The Persian Leaps- Drone Etiquette (Land Ski records)

The Resonars- “Gold to Blue” (Hypnotic Bridge)

Savak- “Dealers” (digital single)

I Was a King- Twilight Anniversaries (self released)

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hadtochangemyurlquick · 4 years ago

Note

do you have any headcanons for the unsinkable 8?

sure do!

dot gets a “world’s best dad” mug as a joke gift from the gang on her birthday and she immediately gets into dad jokes. one of her fave is pronouncing kind like the kind in “goodkind” whenever she’s talking to Shelby, and to sneak it into the conversation as much as possible. it is quite literally sooooooo dumb.

Dot: it takes all kinds, thank you kindly, that is so kind of you, ect.

Shelby: get a hobby

Nora doesn’t stop counting days. she keeps track of them in a notebook and has a “days since the island” count that the girl’s periodically ask her about. but she also has a “days since I’ve last been kissed” and a “days since leah got out of rehab” and a “days since toni’s mom last used” and a “days since fatin played the cello” and a “days since Dot had a panic attack” and a “days since Rachel had a bad food day” and too many others to name. most of the ones the girls know about but sometimes in conversation they’ll offhandedly mention something and Nora will input a highly specific number that makes everyone realize how tight she’s keeping track of things

Rachel has perfect pitch. she doesn’t realize she does, doesn’t really care that she does, but Fatin finds out and starts demanding she help with the cello which is when they learn Rachel can sing. like, sing intensely amazingly. she doesn’t really care enough to pursue a music career but sometimes she’ll post a jam session with shelby or something on insta, and get tons of support. there’s a running gag that they should release an ep and while everyone in the eight is very musical and artistic, it’s all in entirely different ways. Fatin really is classically trained, Shelby is partial to country, Toni loves rap while Dot loves heavy metal. Martha and Rachel both love pop but have wildly different opinions regarding it and Nora listens to a ton of indie by artists no one has heard of before. once they tried to put a song together just for shits and giggles and it entirely collapsed within five minutes

Shelby and Toni don’t want to settle down and they don’t want to conform to capitalism and while the island sucked in every way it sucked they also don’t want to live as separated from nature as Shelby was forced to for most of her life. they end up buying a van and living out of their car, just driving around Texas. they visit the girls a lot, but they enjoy the freedom of not having to go anywhere or do anything but having the only responsibility be to themselves. Toni gets pretty into nature photography, which brings in some income, and Shelby starts learning other instruments just for fun: guitar, flute, violin, sort of whatever she happens to run into. she asks Fatin to teach her the cello and gets a flat and very understandable “no way in hell i’d rather get trapped on an island again” in response

Martha starts a little animal rescue and falls in love with the the boy who runs the cafe across the street and it’s like a gross rom com. he’s stupid, though not a himbo bc he’s kinda mean at first, more of a womanizer than anything. it’s this frustrating enemies to lovers where Martha cannot stand him and his perfect abs and his passion for cooking and his attention to detail. whenever there’s a new development the entire gang has to hear about it individually on a phone call from her. his meanness comes from a place of insecurity, pushing her away so that he never has to put himself out there bc he doesn’t think he’s good enough bc he’s mean bc the insecurity (vicious cycle, you get it), and once he’s kinda forced to bc c’mon, it’s Martha, if any of us met her we’d all instantly fall in love, he transforms into a himbo, stupid pretty and also stupid. they adopt four dogs, six cats, three guinea pigs, a chinchilla, two hamsters, an aquarium filled with fish, five birds, and so on and so on. once Martha asked Toni to pet sit and Toni faked her death for seven weeks. they also end up having like a stupid amount of kids. like so many kids. it’s a zoo it really is. and they still have that animal rescue and cafe right across from one another. sometimes they’ll send their employees to pass notes to each other and when Rachel found out she stopped talking to Martha for nine days bc it was soooo gross.

Fatin’s approach to life is very very strange. she makes a decision and she goes for it. like once she decided she was gonna summit Mount Kilimanjaro, and she trained for it and did it and then was like “okay great never climbing a mountain again, i no longer care.” she got elected to congress and she stayed there for a single term, she got a doctorate in musical theory then gave up music, got a million subscribers on youtube then gave up social media, just running through things like she’s running through a bucket list. she learned to speak five languages, (one of those martha’s language, can’t remember the name of it, typing too quick to look it up) then stopped. successfully campaigned for an area to be named a natural park so it would stay protected and gave up activism. like, she just runs around on side quests doing shit. she got her boating license, her pilots license, a real estate license, a license to practice law, and a license to kill. sometimes one of the girls would come with her on her grand crusade (Dot climbed the mountain with her, Toni and Shelby learned the language with her, Rachel helped her in her music classes, Leah helped with the activism) but like sometimes she’d just be doing stuff on her own. and she was learning to be okay with that.

Leah starts collecting really old books. and it’s not really a big deal at first it’s just her at a garage sale or a used book store picking up a title that feels nice against her fingers or that she recognizes the author of, until suddenly it is a big deal. until she has people calling her asking her to pick up a box or else they’ll get thrown away. entirely on accident she becomes well versed in book preservation and restoration, building a library and releasing it to the public, keeping copies of books that went out of print ages ago with signatures by authors who’s hands have rotted away in their graves. it’s a lot of little work, a lot of careful focused work so her brain can’t run away from her, and a lot of isolated work too. some days she wakes up and realizes she hasn’t talked to the other girls for weeks and it’s tangible, the missing them. the books stack up higher and higher in her shelves. when she’s dead and gone someone will write a biography describing all of the incredible work she did for the preservation of history and writing. the island will be a footnote.

#gus writes #the wilds #gus answers #some of this is in the process of being a fic #some of this was made up on the spot

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vampcubus · 5 years ago

Text

Quiet (Midoriya/Reader | Angst)

| A/n: You know there are some days I question how psychotic I have to be to find pleasure in the suffering that comes when writing angst. *le sad* |

| See part 2 ... here |

✧❀ Warnings: Angst, unresolved feelings, big sad mood. ❀✧

✧❀ Words: 2800+ ❀✧

| Summary: As Izuku continues to chase his dreams you find yourself being pushed to the side until it seems you’ve been forgotten, and yet you keep quiet. But it seems today that the very person who forgot about you wants nothing more than to talk to you. |

. . .

You bit your lip. Buried your teeth into your tongue. Puffed out your cheeks and bit the insides of them. You kept your mouth shut for a long time, perhaps too long you supposed as you watched a familiar head of wild green hair walk past you along with Iida and Ochako.

You held your breath, closed your eyes, clenched your teeth. You wondered if things would have been different had you swallowed your damn fears and said something. Your eyes followed him as far as they could before he was just too far away.

You took in a deep breath and started walking. You had no real idea where; you kept moving until you were stepping inside of a cafe just off-campus. Your ears perked up at the sound of Midoriya’s voice and Ochako’s laughter, followed by a brief lecture from Iida. You turned to see the trio seated in one of the booths.

Midoriya’s face turns to the entrance of the cafe, but you’re already gone.

You close your eyes, knaw at your nails, and roll your tongue against the roof of your mouth. You wait for the pedestrian walk light to show before crossing the street, walking away from the cafe. As you walk, you don’t notice Midoriya looking out the entrance of the cafe. He deflates when he spots you walking away.

Iida and Ochako come up behind Deku to ask him why he’d gotten up so fast.

“I don’t get it, I was certain she went here every day.” Midoriya sighs and Uraraka places a hand on his shoulder. “I even asked Ashido to be sure.”

“Maybe we’ll see her later, don’t give up yet, Deku.” She reassures him, and he puts on a determined face, nodding in agreement.

. . .

You strolled into a familiar shop, smiling at the clerk who recognized you straight away, corralling you into an aisle of books with their newest releases. You skim the covers with your eyes, reaching out to pull a book out and flip through the pages every now and then. A book with skeletal cats and a red and black color scheme caught your eye and you picked it up, opening it up to look through it.

In your distracted state, smiling down at the pictures of cats above each page of text, you almost don’t catch three familiar voices as they wander into the shop. Midoriya approaches the front desk and the clerk greets all three of the students, asking what they were looking for. As they are distracted, you shut the book and place it back on the shelf, holding your breath as you discreetly slipped out of the shop, making eye contact with the clerk on your way out who seems to realize what’s going on.

“Actually we’re looking for a friend, we were told she comes through here often,” Midoriya admits sheepishly, hands wringing anxiously as the woman places a hand to her chin as if to think. “Y-you wouldn’t happen to have seen her today have you?”

“Is she the quiet one? Er… L/N, I think it was?” She wonders, and Midoriya perks up at the sound of your name.

“Yes, that’s her!” Deku smiles, eyes bright and hopeful, and the clerk can’t help but smile.

“Well, I’m afraid you just missed her, sorry kid.” She sighs.

“Oh…” Midoriya shrinks a little, clearly dejected by the news. And once again, Ochako comforts him, a hand on his back as he wracks his brain for another solution. “Well, she couldn’t have gone far, right?”

The three exit the store in search of the ghost of you.

. . .

You arrive at your final routinely spot of the day, smiling at the blissfully unoccupied picnic table tucked away at the edge of the park just by the forest, separated by a leaning chain-link fence. You look up at the dimming sky, the slight smell of rain and wood calming your nerves. You slide onto the rotting-wooden bench of the picnic table, pulling your knees to your chest in a comfortable balled-up position.

You pull down your hood and pull out your phone, putting in your earbuds and looking up at the sky, watching the sun draw ever closer to setting; waiting for the stars to come out.

Just as the green-haired boy starts to worry that he’s already missed you, he spots your small form at a picnic table at the edge of the park. He lets out a sigh of relief at the sight of you sitting still and not walking away. He gets Iida and Ochako’s attention and points to you, and they look equally relieved to have finally caught up to you after a whole day of hunting.

“Well, I’m afraid this is where we part, Midoriya I hope all goes well with L/N.” Iida salutes and the other two chuckle at their friend’s eccentric behavior.

“Thank you, Iida, I appreciate your help today.” Midoriya thanks him, bowing his head in gratitude and waving at him as he leaves the park to walk back on campus.

Ochako turns to face him and gestures for him to take a deep breath with her, knowing how nervous he must be.

“You’ve got this, Deku, I believe in you!” Uraraka whisper-shouts, raising her hand to offer a fist-pump which he gratefully accepts.

Once Uraraka is out of sight, Midoriya turns around and starts to make his way towards the relaxed shape of you.

“Okay, big breaths…” He mutters to himself as he approaches you, one big ball of anxiety. He stops a few feet away, just to admire you as you watched the sky without a care in the world, a small smile on your lips as your eyes traveled from star to star. “You can do this, Deku.” He tries to pep himself up, though the moment you shift he freezes and almost dashes off.

You uncurl from your ball and stretch your limbs out, turning your head away from the sky to change the song on your phone when you notice a shadow looming over you. You knit your brows together in confusion and turn around, heart leaping into your throat and forcing a gasp from it as you spot Deku a few feet away who stiffens as well when he meets your wide eyes.

You remove your earbuds and pull your knees back up to your chest, mouth opening several times to ask what he was doing here, but each time you clamped it back shut.

“U-Uh h-hey, Y/N-chan! fancy seeing you here I was just looking—p-passing through.” Midoriya babbles with a nervous smile, trying to formulate a proper sentence. Though finally talking to you face-to-face suddenly became more difficult than he remembered. “What are you doing out here all by yourself?”

You bite your tongue, hold your breath, clench your teeth. Anything to keep the words from spilling. Words you’ve kept down for months.

You can’t just say nothing though.

“Hey, Midoriya.” Is all you can manage before biting down on your tongue again, avoiding his eyes. You know it’s not enough to weasel out of the conversation so you add, “Don’t worry about me, I should be going now anyway.”

Deku’s eyes widened when you got up from the picnic table, shoving your phone in your pocket, ready to leave. He panics, wracking his brain for the right words to say to stop you. Instead, his hand shoots out before he can stop it and grabs your hand.

“No, please don’t go yet!” He blurts out, sounding desperate as you halt all movement and look back at him with wide eyes. Your gaze drifts between his face and his hands as it grasps yours, lips parted in surprise. “I… can we talk for a minute?”

Why? Why does he want to talk now? What could you possibly have that he wants to talk to you about after months of distance, almost a year of growing apart until you had no part in his life?

“Um.” You gesture at his grip on your fingers and he turns bright red, flushing from his neck to his ears. He jerks his hand away from yours and squeezes out a ‘sorry!’

Despite your conscience, the voice telling you to just leave, you sit back down on the rotting bench looking expectantly at him as he stands there.

“Are you going to sit down?” You ask flatly, and the boy jumps with a ‘right’, scrambling to sit down beside you.

It’s quiet.

“Y/N?” Midoriya starts out, and you grimace at the sound, not liking the way each syllable fell from his lips in that nervous voice of his.

“Don’t act like we’re familiar.” You hiss, letting the annoyance slip out into your tone.

He stares for a moment, and you don’t miss the hurt that flashes behind those big green eyes of his. He looks like he wants to say something but can’t quite find the words. Why did it make you feel bad that you had plenty of things to say and he had none?

“We’re… not?” Midoriya asks, the sound small in his throat.

What were you talking about? ‘don’t act like we’re familiar?’ The green-haired boy vividly remembers a time when you were very close, and he was the only one that was allowed to use your first name, the only one that could talk to you longer than five minutes without you closing off. You used to come over for playdates at his house and build blanket forts so you could read All Might comics and share dumb secrets. He can’t think of a time he wasn’t familiar with you, even if you had grown apart since you started high school.

You still kept in touch over text and he invited you over to study every now and then.

But now that he thinks of it, he can’t remember the last time he texted you. He can’t recall the last time you had a meaningful conversation outside or inside of school. But even if you didn’t see each other as much, he still considered you his friend. And he’s been crushing on you since middle school. Have you really become unfamiliar with one another?

You haven’t been close lately, sure, but hearing you say that hurt his feelings.

“Don’t act surprised.” You groan, looking up at the sky. Did he really expect things to just be okay between you after basically ghosting you for almost a year? “This is the first time you’ve talked to me in months.”

Your words hit him hard, and he can feel the guilt crawling on his skin. He feels sick. He realizes just how true your words are when he tries to remember a time you talked in the past few months but couldn’t. It really has been that long.

“I-I’m sorry about that, I guess I was just… busy trying to become the number one h-hero you know?” He chuckles nervously, offering you a smile, hoping that maybe it would lift your spirits, or at least make you look at him.

“You never seem too busy for Ochako or Iida.” You deadpanned, resting your chin on your hand as you leaned over the picnic table. Midoriya’s eyes widened, and he tried to think of what to say, though he should have picked his words a bit more carefully because the next sentence even makes him wince as soon as it comes out.

“B-But that’s different.” Midoriya stutters, squinting his eyes shut and mentally kicking himself. What kind of excuse was that?

“How is it different?” You asked.

“I…” He couldn’t even answer you. What was he supposed to say? It wasn’t different, you were all in the same class, he had countless opportunities to talk to you and he just didn’t. “I’m sorry, that’s no excuse...”

He hangs his head low, owning up to it.

“Sorry for what? Not talking to me for months or thinking that you could just walk up to me and be all buddy-buddy again?” You had to admit that it sounded harsh, and perhaps you were being petty, but could he really blame you? You spent most of your childhood only sharing his attention with Kacchan, and suddenly there was no room in his life for you.

“Well, you could’ve talked to me too… you haven’t necessarily been the most sociable either.” He mumbles, twiddling his thumbs together.

“Oh, so now it’s my fault.”

He sits up straight raising his hands defensively as you scowl at him from over your shoulder, the bitterness of your tone sending him into panic mode. He hadn’t meant it that way, he would never blame you for this.

“N-no! That’s not what I meant at all!” Midoriya sputtered. “Y/N please hear me out—”

“L/N.” You corrected and Midoriya felt himself choke on the lump in his throat and the tears start to well up in his eyes. He didn’t want to cry in front of you, he’d done that all the time when he was younger, and not once did you hesitate to comfort him no matter what he was crying about. Crying would solve nothing now.

“Y/N please, I-I know you’re mad at me, and you have every right to be. But please don’t do this, you-you’ve always been an amazing f-friend to me, please don’t shut me out now.” He whimpered, the tears starting to drip down his freckled cheeks.

“You’re the one who shut me out. Don’t twist things to fit into whatever narrative your imagination has written up.” You hissed.

“I didn’t! You keep saying that like I’m not trying to f-fix this, I care about you, and j-just because you stopped believing it doesn’t make it untrue.” Midoriya insisted.

“Fix what? Our friendship that you forgot about?” You scoffed, putting some distance between you on the bench. The resentment in your eyes as you say it shakes him to the core, terrifying him. The thought of you hating him makes him actually want to throw up, he feels nauseous just thinking about it.

“Please—” He chokes on a sob. “P-please don’t h-hate me, please don’t hate me.”

You stared down at the wooden patterns of the picnic table, trying to ignore the pathetic sobs and sniffles to your right. You hated seeing Izuku cry. You can remember a time you would’ve thrown hands for anyone who made him cry. It bugged you even now that you were the cause of his tears, but you were hurt too and no amount of tears can fix that. You didn’t hate him, you hated that this is what your long-term friendship had come to.

“I haven’t been a part of your life since we started high school, Izuku. Do you have any idea how I felt when we stopped talking? I thought that you were getting bored of me, that somehow I just wasn’t worth your time anymore.” You confessed, feeling the tears start to form in your own eyes. You hastily wiped them with the sleeve of your hoodie.

Midoriya sniffled, ears perking at the sound of his first name tumbling so unexpectedly from your lips. He missed being called Izuku, and he’d always admired the fact that you never stopped using it. He felt more and more terrible with every word that left your lips, letting him in on your perspective, how you had been feeling because of him.

Bored with you? Never! You were always so important, so unique to him. You were the only one who believed in him before he got a quirk.

“I figured that hey, maybe you were just busy and so I didn’t bother you. I thought that hey, once you’re not so busy you’d call me, or text me, or something. But… you didn’t and I… before I knew it, you had new friends, a new life,” You sniffled, unable to muffle the sound behind your sleeve this time and Izuku’s eyes widened in horror when he realized that you were crying. “Without me.”

Izuku sobbed into his hands, the tears rolling freely as he cried. You looked over at his trembling form, letting your own silent tears dampen your hoodie sleeve. One thing about Izuku that you had always admired was that he was never afraid to express himself. There wasn’t a moment in the world that he was insincere with his emotions, whenever he cried he cried for real. So unlike you and many others, bottling up their emotions and hiding their faces from others.

You couldn’t watch this anymore.

“I-I need to go.” You got up to leave again and Midoriya’s head shot up the moment you moved, teary eyes watching as you stood up. “Goodnight, Midoriya.”

And with that, you walked away. Izuku let his head fall into his hands, he pulled at his hair in frustration, clenching his fists so tightly his knuckles started to bruise. He cried harder than he had in a long time, muttering a million sorries into the night in hopes that if he said it enough you’d hear him, and forgive him.

But just like he did when you waited for him to call, to text, to say something… you stayed quiet.

#izuku midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku #izuku midoriya x reader angst #angst #unresolved angst #bnha x reader #izuku x reader #mha x reader #bnha #mha #mha x you #bnha x you #my hero academia #bnha fanfiction

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cityofimagines · 4 years ago

Text

My Angel – JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: your relationship with JJ is still relatively new, but that doesn’t stop you from showing just how much your care about him after his has an episode with his dad.

A/N: this popped into my brain randomly because im in love with fluffy jj, and jj in general. i literally just wanna give him the biggest hug in the world 🥺 this is also my first real obx imagine so lmk what you guys think!!

warnings: mentions of abuse

word count: 1841

It was currently a perfect day in the Outer Banks. 86 degrees, not a cloud in the sky, on your way to meet your friends on the dock. You finally found a time when everyone was off work simultaneously for the first time this week. John B’s boat was practically rotting from not being used in five days.

You fast walked down the hill to get to the meeting spot. As you got closer, you noticed most of the pogues plus Sarah Cameron, the newest addition to the group thanks to John B, all chatting.

“Hey guys!” You exclaimed as you neared them at the end of the dock.

“Hey (y/n)!” Kie smiled and ran up to give you a short hug.

“What’s up (y/n)?” John B asked, giving you a nod.

You shook your head. “Not much. Just excited to finally see you guys!” Which earned smiles from the rest of the group. Everyone was clad in swimsuits, t shirts, and flip flops, signaling that they were more than ready to get this day going. But before you could, you noticed something major was off. “Where’s JJ?” You asked looking around for your boyfriend.

“We were gonna ask you the same question.” Pope said.

“That’s so weird. We texted earlier and he was obviously down to come...I assumed he’d be the first one here.” You continued.

“Who knows maybe he’s just running a little late. It wouldn’t be the first time anyway.” Kie smiled and put a hand to your arm. “We can wait a few more minutes.”

You had been friends with all of the pogues for about two years now, pretty much since the week you moved here. However, you and JJ had only been dating for less than a month, so this relationship was still fairly new. You couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he was having doubts about you or your relationship. After that thought passed you wondered if something bad happened to him. JJ is known for having not the cleanest record, much to your dismay, so you couldn’t help but think he was in trouble. As more time passed, the more negative overthinking you did.

You checked your phone for any sign of him, but the only notifications present were from Apple telling you to update your software for the millionth time. The rest of the group had descended into a random conversation, but finally after 10 minutes of waiting for him you decided to speak up.

“Hey guys? I think I might go look for him…” You trailed off, looking in the other direction towards the rest of the island.

“It is pretty weird...JJ isn’t one to miss out on days like these.” John B added. “You want us to come with you?”

You smiled at his offer, but declined. “No it’s fine honestly. You guys go have fun. Don’t let me ruin your day.”

“You could never.” Kie said. “You’re sure?”

You nodded. “I promise it’s okay. I’m just scared something happened. I’m gonna go look for him and maybe we’ll meet up with you guys later if we can.”

Since your relationship with JJ was still so new, you were still learning how to manage spending time with him alone and spending time with the rest of your friends. You felt bad for leaving them because you hadn’t hung out all week, but something was pulling you towards JJ in that moment.

“Sounds good.” Kie finished. “Good luck and hopefully we’ll see you later!”

“Thanks guys.” You smiled one last time before turning to walk back towards where you came from. Your car was parked in a lot close by, so it didn’t take long for you to get in there and gather your thoughts. Where could JJ be? He couldn’t be at work, because he’s been working with Pope and his dad lately, so obviously if Pope was at the dock JJ would be too. The only other place he could be would be...his house?

The second that thought dawned on you, your face sank. His house.

JJ opened up about his home life to you pretty quickly into your relationship. You had known each other for so long before that he felt like he could trust you explicitly. He told you all about how his mom left when he was young, and how his dad is a disgusting physically and emotionally abusive alcoholic. This revelation led to a few tears and more than a few sleepovers at your house.

You backed out of the lot and sped down the streets as fast as you possibly could without it being able to technically count as speeding. Your heart was now pounding at the thought that something bad must have happened today involving his dad.

After a too fast car ride you came up on his street. You parked across the street in front of his house, not even daring to go near the driveway because who knows what his dad would do. You weren’t even completely sure his dad knew you existed.

You felt crazy walking around to the back door dressed in a bikini with nothing but an oversized t-shirt covering you, a messy bun sitting on top of your head, sunglasses behind your ears, and cheap flip flops.

Once you got up to the door, your hand hovered in front of it in a knocking position. Suddenly you were terrified. What if JJ wasn’t even here? What if you were just being a stupid worried clingy girlfriend? What if his dad answered? What would you even do in that situation?

A crazy thought came over you and you decided to forego knocking and reach out for the doorknob instead. You turned it quietly and the door clicked open. You closed it behind you and took a look inside at the house you had only seen a couple times before. Beer bottles lined every open surface. Clothes and dishes were strewn everywhere, medicine bottles sat on the kitchen counters. You bit your lip to keep from tearing up at the sight. The fact that this was the only place the boy who had your heart had to call home broke you.

You walked into the living room and jumped a mile when you saw an adult figure on the couch. Luke Maybank, luckily asleep. Still no sign of JJ.

You walked deeper in the house, down the hall to where you knew JJ’s room was. The door was cracked slightly, and you held your ear up to it. Your heart broke even more when the sound of crying filled your ears. You opened the door and it creaked, causing your boyfriend’s head to snap up in your direction.

“JJ…” You began.

“(Y/N)? What the hell are you doing here-” He said, cutting you off.

No words came out of your mouth for a minute as you took in the sight. He was hunched over sitting on his bed, clutching his side. His shaggy blonde hair looked more oily than normal most likely due to his hands running through it excessively. He had a black eye and a split lip, with random patches of dried blood around his mouth. You had heard about his dad’s horrible parenting, but nothing could have prepared you from seeing its effects in real life for the first time.

Finally you came to your senses. “I was looking for you.” You started. “We were all waiting for you on the dock and when you didn’t show up I just had a feeling something was wrong…God JJ why the fuck didn’t you call me? I would’ve come as soon as I cou-”

“Shh baby. It’s okay. I’m okay.” He said. “C’mere.”

You couldn’t help the tears that welled up in your eyes as you took all of three steps towards him. He wrapped his arms around your torso and pulled you in. Your head rested on his.

“It’s not okay!” You cried out, his hair muffling your voice. He shushed you and started rubbing your back.

“I’m fine sweetheart. You shouldn’t even be here anyways-”

“Will you shut up?” You said, the question coming out harsher than you meant. You quickly pulled away and looked down at him. “Shit- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...I’m just fucking frustrated that you have to go through this. I can’t stand seeing you like this.”

JJ reached up to wipe the tear that had fallen onto your cheek. “It’s nothing I can’t handle. I promise I’m fine. Go back out with everyone. I’ll catch up later.” He said.

“No.” You shook your head. “We’re going to my house. I’m fixing you up.”

“(y/n)...”

“Either you come with me or I’ll help you here.” You gave him an ultimatum.

He sighed and his head fell forwards on your stomach. He was still sitting on his bed and you stood in between his legs. You grabbed his hand in yours. “Please baby. Let me take care of you.”

“Okay. Your house it is.” You helped him up and walked him out to your car. You even helped him into the passenger seat, much to his dismay. Seeing him like this had you seething inside, you couldn’t help but want to love on him with everything you had.

A short drive to your house later, you walked inside and told him to sit down on the couch. Your parents were both at work and you assumed your older sister was with her own friends. You ran to the bathroom to get bandaids, rubbing alcohol, and an ice pack for his eye.

You sat down with everything and began tending to his cuts. You felt like crying again, but reminded yourself to be strong for him.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” You asked after a few moments of silence.

He shook his head. “There’s nothing to talk about. He’s just an asshole.”

“I wish I could do something more to stop it.”

“You do enough. I don’t deserve you.” He said quietly.

“Stop it. If anything I don’t deserve you.” You replied. You took the ice pack off his face for a minute to look into his eyes fully. “You’re the best part of my life JJ Maybank. When you’re hurting so am I.”

He leaned down to kiss your forehead. “My angel.”

You wrapped your arms around his torso delicately so as to not hurt him. You weren’t sure if words could adequately describe what you were feeling regarding JJ, so you just sat in his embrace. He wrapped his arms around you after a few moments.

“I’m so sorry you have to deal with all of this. I hate making you upset.”

“Not your fault.” You whispered into his shirt. “I would do anything for you. You know that.”

He pushed your head up to his and planted a passionate kiss to your lips. He pulled away and rested his forehead to yours. You ran a gentle hand up and down his side, feeling him get chills as you traced the muscles that hid underneath his soft skin.

“You wanna sleep?” You asked.

“Honestly...yeah.” He said quietly.

You patted his legs twice signaling for him to stand up. You switched positions so you were sitting behind him.

Once he got comfortable in your lap, you started running your hands through his hair and on his cheek. His eyes fluttered closed.

“I got you sunshine. You’re safe with me.”

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