#the booze- okay i'll shut up now
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biscuitboba · 16 days ago
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2023 vs 2024
Happy Birthday Roronoa Zoro💚
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You know, I'm discovering that half the appeal of jegulus for me is that it forces rosekiller and james to interact in a non-antagonistic way. And that dynamic is soooo fun. I need more. Like. Just some highlights for ya'll:
Evan: Great. You don't want Regulus to die. We don't want Regulus to die. Now we just have to make sure REGULUS doesn't want Regulus to die.
James: Fantastic, but have you met Regulus?
Barty, kicking down James door: POTTER!
James: What the HELL are you doing in here? Scratch that HOW the hell did you get in here?
Barty: Regulus told me, now WHERE ARE YOU GETTING YOUR BOOZE?
Regulus: James. You know how you said you'd do anything for me? Well. . .how much did you mean that?
James: With my whole heart. Anything. What do you need?
Regulus: Evan?
Evan: We need you to find Barty. He went into one of his fits of exam-stress-induced madness and he's been missing for three days.
James, suspicious that Reg blabbed about the map: Okay, why do you think I'd know where he is?
Evan: Because when you and Regulus were in your painful pining phase you were somehow able to avoid us AND stalk him everywhere. I don't know how you know where everyone is all the time, I just know you're doing it somehow. If you can't find him, I'll have to assume he finally made good on his threat to fling himself into the lake.
James: Is? Is this a recurring problem for you?
Evan: OH, and you've NEVER lost track of YOUR boyfriend OR your best friend because they were spiralling and have a complex from their shitty upbringing?
James: . . . Point taken. Give me 5 minutes.
Evan: *grabs James in the hallway and slams him against a wall*
Barty: Alright Potter, start talking!
James: Dammit you two! You know you can just ASK Regulus how it went after we go on a date, right? He'd probably be thrilled to tell you! Don't you two keep complaining about how much he won't shut up about me?
Evan: EXACTLY. If we encourage him, then we'll REALLY never hear the end of it. Now, did you do the thing we told you about?
James: the praise thing? Yeah, he reacted really well. Which you'd know if you ASKED REGULUS!
Barty: See, what did I tell you? He loves it! See you same time next week Potter!
James, yelling after them as they leave: I STILL WANNA KNOW HOW YOU FOUND OUT ABOUT THAT BY THE WAY!
Evan: NO YOU DON'T!
Idk, I'm a sucker for not quite friends James and Rosekiller. I need more.
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strangelysamantha · 29 days ago
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wasted ☆
jj maybank x fem!reader.
warnings: infidelity, swearing, alcohol.
words: 1,093.
summary: “you were supposed to be my soulmate, but you threw it all away so you could screw some girl?” in which jj makes a grave mistake cheating on you.
request? no.
a/n: i have so many good ideas deep in my drafts. im about to blow up your feed mwahahahha.
my masterlist
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you desperately needed air, the smell of liquor, cigarettes, and blaring music completely overwhelmed your senses, you couldn't find jj which didn't help at all. all you wanted to do was settle into bed, but instead you were trapped at a house party. you were getting tired of the partying, every time the night was close to coming to an end, jj would find something to get worked up about. he would be screaming at you about drama that had sparked. it was exhausting that jj always had a problem, whether it was because you had accepted a drink from a guy, or was dancing to close to someone you didn't even care about. you tried multiple doors, trying to find a quiet place, however all of them were locked.
of course, the one that wasn't locked was occupied. you swing the door open, seeing two bodies entangled together, sweaty and moaning. you were going to shut it when you noticed it was jj in bed. his blonde hair messy as small groans fell from his mouth. "what the actual fuck jj?" you yelled, holding back your tears. as if the night couldn't have gotten any worse, of course jj had found a dumb tourist to feed his needs. before the party, you mentioned to jj that you weren't feeling it, he was upset by this. he made it a big issue before ultimately storming off. you weren't going to go; you told him as much. but seeing how angry he got; you felt obligated to make an appearance.
now regretting even leaving the house, you watch jj scramble to put his clothes back on. the entire show being sickening to see. you decided you didn't even want to hear his excuses. maybe he got too drunk, maybe he wanted revenge, maybe he was just done. you rush downstairs, running into kiara. she apologizes before realizing its you. "hey is everything okay?" you laugh, the whole situation seeming so unreal its funny. "just walked in on jj plowing a tourist. i'm getting out of here." her mouth flies open, "what?" she follows after you, worried to leave you alone. she hops into your car, and the two of you drive to her house, assuming jj would go to yours to try and salvage the relationship.
in kiaras room you lay down on her bed, your body becoming numb. "i mean. i got with jj maybank. did i really think i'd be that special?" you sigh. kiara frowns at your words. "it's not your fault. that is so unfair to you, he knows better than that." you glance down at your phone, seeing a bunch of missed calls and texts from him. "im just mad because i know i'll lose all my friends too." kiara rubs your arm, "you still have me." you smile softly, "thank you, i don't know what i'd be doing without you." your comment was cut off by kiaras phone. "it's jj, should i answer?" you shrug, "might as well. put it on speaker." she pressed accept, immediately putting jj on speaker. "i fucked up kie, i don't know what to do." she wanted to act oblivious to see how jj would explain the situation. "what happened jj?" he mentions you, "we had a big fight before the party. i drowned my frustration with booze. i met a tourist and it was so easy. i let my guard down." kiaras face forms with disgust by his words. she doesn't respond, letting him continue. "she walked in on me fucking someone else. she'll hate me. she'll want nothing to do with me kie, what do i do?" kiara hums, "well you cheated jj." her words stung him, "there is nothing you can do. if she's done with you after this, you'll just have to accept it."
"i have to see her. do you know where she went?" kiara sighs, "no, i haven't seen her. i'm back at mine now, about to go to bed." jj groans, "alright, thanks." he immediately hangs up and kiara scoffs. "please tell me you don't plan on getting back with him." you shake your head. "i can't." she nods understandingly. "besides the fact he literally cheated; all we do is fight anyway. it's too exhausting."
"well i'm here for you, anything you need." you smile, thankful you'd still have a friend after this. "i'm going to head back home, if i run into him i'm going to end it. otherwise i'm going to bed." kiara ushers a goodnight softly, "make it home safe. and keep me updated."
you gently shut her door, heading downstairs. you get into your car, starting it up and driving back home. jj calls you again on your drive home, you reluctantly answer. you stay silent. "can we please talk?" he questions. "im just now on my way home. im too tired jj." he sighs, "im already at your house." you mouth forms into a line, annoyance running through your veins. "alright." you hang up, pulling into your driveway, you noticed him sitting at the end of the driveway. you hop out of your car walking up to him.
he quickly stands up. "look i'm so sorry. i can't even put into words how bad i feel." you scoff, "i don't really care anymore jj." he takes a deep breath, "please it was a huge mistake." you look over, "that's the problem jj. we had a fight, and you lashed out. i don't want to worry about what you'll do if i upset you. if you'll retaliate by sleeping with someone else, or if you'll fight someone, or whatever you'll do just because were on the rocks." he shakes his head, "it won't be like that, i don't want that to be our relationship-" you are quick to cut him off, "there is no more relationship jj." his heart sinks, "no please, we can work this out." you sigh, tears dropping from your eyes. "you were supposed to be my soulmate, but you threw it all away so you could screw some girl?" he was extremely apologetic, "i was drunk, and angry, and i wasn't thinking. i didn't want to hurt you. i regret it so bad. im really sorry." you quickly wipe your tears, "all i see when i look at you is seeing you in bed with that stranger. and that makes me sick. i can't look at you the same jj. we are done." before he can respond you turn away, walking into your house, locking the door behind you.
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romana-after-dark · 1 year ago
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Cry Harder
Dark!Joel Miller x fem!reader
Masterlist : Taglist (NEW TAG LIST)
A follow up to Keep Cry'n, but you don't need to read it to read this. But you do need to read the warnings lol.
For my event, Dead Dove December which is still open until January 1st, and there's no sign up! Plenty of time to join <3
Summery: While keeping you captive, Joel's sex drive is insatiable, and the sex seemed to be never ending. You tried to warm him you needed to use the bathroom... he didn't listen.
Warnings: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT. Non con. Piss kink. Dacryphilia. PIV sex, oral f!recieving. Smoothing via pillow. Threat of murder, threat of necrophilia (Joel's just trying to scare her.) little smacking. Degredation, daddy kink.
Immersabilty: Reader is fem.
1k works
A/N: I'M BACK!!! I'll chat a lil more in the notes at the bottom and be sure to read the housekeeping but thanks for sticking around <3
You don't have to like piss kink but don't make fun of me okay lol
Support writers! Reblog and comment
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“That’s it baby, cry harder”
As if you had much of a choice. Joel had you here for 2 days by this point, and the man was fucking insatiable. He had explained to you, not that you asked, that he goes in and out of “shifts”, essentially. For a few weeks, he raids and stocks up on all he needs. Then, if he’s got somewhere decent to stay, he’ll take a pretty girl for a week or so and just go insane on sex, food, and any drugs or booze he could get. You were well fed at least, and sometimes Joel let you take a few hits of weed or sips of alcohol to numb you, but other than that he wasn’t giving many mercies.
It had been hours at this point, no refractory period except sometimes to go have a smoke, but 5 minutes later he came back hard and thrusting into your swollen lips.
You were exhausted, spread out naked on your back as Joel knelt before you, thrusting. You just wanted it to be over, sobbing into the pillow you pulled over your face.
“Awwww, little babies embarrassed? Wassamatter, little baby, don’t want me to hear you moaning again?” Joel taunted you with a laugh. He liked laughing at you. He did make you moan, that was the embarrassing part. Joel wasn’t necessarily trying to make you cum, but he did get giddy and gleeful when the stretch of his cock was enough to make you orgasm.
You weren’t entirely sure that’s what was happening right now, but something was off. “Joel…” You whine into your pillow. “My stomach hurts…”
“Why -thrust- the fuck -thrust- do I care?”
“It feels funny…” You hoped maybe he’d stop if you were sick. Not that he cared about your well being, but rather he wouldn’t want you getting sick all over him. Or maybe he was into that. 
“Just shut the fuck up and -mmmph- just fuck’n take it. Always fuck’n whining like you got a hard job.” Joel smacked a tit, making you whimper and clench down.
Then you realized what the feeling was. “Joel, I gotta- MPH!”
Joel shoved the pillow into your face. “Tired of your fucking voice. ‘Joel I need this, Joel I need that!’” He mocked you in a high pitched voice. “Just shut the fuck up before I smoother you and use your cold pussy instead. Bet the rigor would tight’n you up a bit.”
Fresh tears wet your pillow as you wriggle, trying to keep quiet. You needed to pee. Or maybe you were going to cum. Joel had gotten you pretty drunk this time and his dick jamming into your cervix made everything a little hazy, but you needed to pee, and you needed to pee BAD. Still, the struggle to breath was the first concern. It wasn't cutting off all your hair, but it was getting difficult.
You tried to warn him, but Joel simply kept the pillow over your mouth and he filled you up again and again, thick cock stretching you so far you weren’t sure how you were supposed to be any tighter, but men were never satisfied. The pressure continued to build and suddenly you were very confused; was this an orgasm, pee, or both?
Joel was growing erratic above you, and you wondered if he got off, if this would be it for today. You tried to hold it back, never wanting Joel to have the satisfaction, but the combination of the feeling and Joel in your stomach were too much. Unconsciously, you let go.
Joel stops, not pulling back enough to pull out but enough to see you and you release the warm liquid onto him as you cum. “Oh shit” He chuckles. “Did you squirt?” You remove the pillow the your face to catch him looking at your sore cunt as the liquid isn’t stopping and he realizes what was happening. “Ohhhh fuck!” He says gleefully, thrusting into you with renewed vigor.
“That’s it baby, piss on my cock, ooooooh yes, fuck yes, pee on daddy’s fuck’n cock, mmmmm god, gonna- fuuuuck, gonna cum, gonna cum in daddy’s little piss baby.”
You cover your face with your arms as you cry, sensitive as all hell from cumming hard as you relieve yourself, humiliated but knowing he’s close. Just gotta power through.
Huffing, Joel pressed his hand down on your lower stomach, pushing out more pee as you yelped.
“Goooood DAYUM!” Joel shouts loud in your ear as he cums inside you, filling your tired pussy with his cum.
Joel falls on top of you, laughing, his heavy weight nearly as suffocating as the pillow was. A light chuckle turned louder as he laughed harder and pulled away. As Joel pulled his cock out of your soaked folds, he was all but cackling, derangement in his eyes as he looked at the disaster that was the shitty bed you slept on.
“Such a messy girl…” He eyed your cunt, and you whimper. Joel didn’t go down on you. This was for him to get his dick wet, nothing else…
But soon, his mouth was between your legs, lapping at the mix of cum and piss and sweat between you two, his beard a rubbing irritant against your puffy skin. “Such a pathetic little girl” He muttered between breaths, rutting himself against the bed, and you knew he was hard again. “Fuck’n weird, can’t even keep from making a mess of yourself” He growls, licking you clean. “Fuck’n- ohmygod- fucking disgusting little piss Wh-who-oooooremmmm.” Joel came against the bed, just as you were about to come again, and pulled away.
You can’t help the way your body wriggles as the “Nooo” You whine, ever so quiet. You hated how much he made you want him sometimes. 
Joel giggles, awfully pleased with himself. “Nah, baby, I’m done with you for now. Maybe next time you’ll learn to appreciate when I give you this cock.” 
Butt naked, Joel exited the room, telling you to clean yourself up. “You smell.”
*************************
TW depression, skip to the bold for romana housekeeping
I havn't posted much outside an occasional Blessed Be the Fruit and if you follow my main, you kno why. This semester has been incredibly hard on me, a genuine deep depression i han't experienced in a long, long time. It was awful. I nearly hospitalized myself a few times and I should have but I am american and not insured. I was not safe, and was a danger to myself.
Yet, somehow, I managed to get my course work done and I finished the semmester on friday ;-; now i have 2 weeks approximately off from work which isnt ideal but hey, traveling and shit. Then for about a month I'll be working back at day care again before coming back for second semmester soooooo im hoping this free time will allow me to catch up on writing and reading
Housekeeping
As linked above, this is for my event dead dove December! It's for the Oscar Isaac/ Pedro Pascal fandom, and we got so many fun entries including lots of Joel, some triple frontier (santi AND frankie) William tell, and soon some Jack from mojave, rydall keener and more!! Would love for you to join me! if you dont wanna write but like dead dove, search #deaddovedecember2023 I didn't realize at the time there was a similar event for the bucky barnes fandom but they have the same hastag, so if you like bucky, check them out too!
Also, i'm gonna be working on a new series once Blessed be the Fruit and a few on my main end, a dark!triple frontier. Check out the coming soon info, and comment if you'd like a tag!
Be sure to join the new tag list, as i changed my tag options just a little!
@m0nster-fvcker @miraclesabound @fandxmslxt69
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princessmaybank · 3 months ago
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Hearts At War : Part 1
Pairings: Dark!Rude!JJ x Kook!Fem!Reader, Enemies to Lovers
Warnings: Swearing, Alcohol, Weed, etc.
Summary: Sarah drags you to a kegger, where you see your old pal JJ.
Author's Note: My first series!!!
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"Of course I'm sure! They'll love you!" Sarah exclaimed. She was dragging me to a kegger held by her pogue friends. I only knew a handful of pogues and they were all rude to me when I tried my hardest to be nice. Going into this I told her it's not a good idea but you can't really argue with Sarah Cameron.
We finally reached the boneyard and it was packed. I saw a bunch of people I knew. Friends would try to stop me to talk but Sarah kept pulling me until we reached a fire pit. I only knew one person at that fire.
"C'mon Sarah why'd you bring her?!" The hard-headed boy with blonde tousled hair complained. That was JJ Maybank, my sworn enemy since 5th grade when he pushed me on the playground. JJ has made every moment we spent together a living nightmare from then on. He was a little asshole then and an even bigger one now. "Get the fuck over it JJ! She's a nice girl!" Sarah stood up for me before introducing me to John B, Kie, Cleo, and Pope. None of them had a problem with me, we even had some great conversations so far, but the entire time someone kept quiet while their eyes dug into my soul.
"I'm gonna grab another drink." I whisper to Sarah before standing. "Oh no...leaving us so soon?" JJ's face and tone was covered in fake sadness. He pretended to pout when I stood. "Don't you worry Maybank, I'll be back soon. Don't miss me too much." I give him a fake smile and head to the keg to grab another beer. When I get there I notice the operator was even more intoxicated than most of the people here. I tried to pour it myself but he fought with me until he accidentally sprayed me with the booze. I had no choice but to walk back to Sarah and her friends. Hopefully someone had a spare shirt or something.
When I got back everyone looked at me concerned while JJ cackled at my appearance. "You're supposed to put the drink in your mouth." He continued laughing. At this point I was extremely annoyed and snapped. "You would know about shoving things in your mouth wouldn't you?" I practically shut him up and caused everyone around us to laugh. Sarah turned to me and asked what happened. Of course I explained what happened to everyone and they felt bad. I got a bunch of 'sorry's' and 'i don't have a spare shirt' comments. "Hey I think there might be a shirt in the Twinkie." John B announced. "Why would a shirt be in a dessert?" I asked confused and everyone laughed at me. "That's what he calls his van." Kie giggled. "Oh, well if you're okay with it-" I was cut off. "Wait- that's my shirt in there. Hell no!" JJ protested. "It's the property of the Twinkie now." Pope shrugs causing everyone to let out a small laugh. JJ looked like he was going to argue some more so I stopped him in his tracks. "I don't want your damn shirt Maybank. I'd rather reek of alcohol for the rest of my life." My eyes rolled as I crossed my arms. I meant what I said, I don't need his shirt.
I needed to get away from them for a little bit, so I went through the crowd and mingled with a few guys. Every one of them even more boring than the last. Even when I did find someone I was interested in, I got shot down. I wanna blame it on my alcohol stained clothes but I'm not sure. When I started walking back to the fire pit, I heard the most annoying voice call out to me. "Striking out?" JJ chuckled as he took a hit from his joint. He was leaned up against a tree, really trying his best to look like a bad boy. "You're stalking me now Maybank? Don't know if I should be scared or flattered." I cross my arms and give attitude. He rolls his eyes and takes another hit. "Oh shut up, why would I stalk you of all people?" He questioned. "You tell me. Why did you know I was 'striking out'?" I say with air quotes. "Oh you were? Lucky fuckin' guess." JJ took another hit then blew his smoke in my face.
"You're such a fucking dickhead!" I huff. JJ simply smiles at me. His fingers slowly brought the joint to his lips and before he could inhale, I stole it from his hand. It met my lips before he could complain and I walked away.
I found myself back at that fire pit where Sarah was now sitting on John B's lap with her tongue down his throat. Pope and Cleo were talking so I turned to Kie. "What is his problem?" I ask her while staring at the blonde who is currently shotgunning a beer with another Pogue. "Honestly? You. I don't know what you did to the boy, but he hates your guts. Always has." Kie spoke as she took the joint from my fingers.
"I didn't do anything. He's been a little dickhead for years and it just keeps getting worse." I say resting my elbows on my knees. "Maybe you should ask him why he acts like that." Kie shrugs. "He would rather spit in my face and toss me in the ocean." She laughed which caused my own to creep up on me. I look back over to the blonde who was already looking at me.
That's weird...
I could've sworn I just saw JJ Maybank staring at me..
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ohisms · 7 months ago
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↪ ᵀᴴᴱ 𝑀𝐼𝐶𝐾 , ꮲꭲ 2 . (  a  series  of  sentence  starters  from  season  1  of fox's sitcom ,  “ the mick ” adjust phrasing as necessary . )
damn , [ name ] , how many cars can one person crash ?
i can't help it — when i'm behind the wheel , i'm a slave to the power of the machine .
other people worked very hard to buy those cars , and now they're mine .
why you gotta put me in a cage ?
i'm not a rat , okay ?
shut up , you don't know what you're talking about .
i am NOT joking , i don't wanna do this .
guys , we don't snitch . that's it , end of story .
will you listen to yourself ?? "jUsT tElL tHe tRuTh"
[ name ] , you snitch you die !
pretty sure that was already there when i walked up .
how is this good news ?
everyone's gonna call me a traitor , like you .
don't worry about it , it was worth it .
what are you doing tomorrow night ?
just say the words , and it can be yours .
oh , it's like that , huh ? fine .
what was that ? i can't hear you ... you can't breathe ?
you better figure something out , 'cause if you don't — i'll have to go public with this .
that's called extortion , stupid !
those guys are just covering their own asses , they don't even like you .
as easily as i can save you in this world , i can destroy you .
if anybody messes with you , let us know - okay ?
with a dong like that , you'd think he'd be happier .
do i look like i'm playing , [ last name ] ?
oh , your breath reeks of booze .
i hope you have a plan .
i was up all night watching prep school movies in preparation .
there are some real evil illuminati-type vibes in here , right ?
there was a time i could see , and i have seen .
oh , i'm just getting warmed up .
we are but food for worms , gentlemen .
whose burrito did i just step in ?
get out of here , the tv's mine .
what did you do to my shirt ??
how would you feel if i ran around stealing your clothes ?
we had to kill him cause he wasn't a team player .
no more special treatment for you .
i grew up in squalor , i am perfectly comfortable in it .
[ name ] , don't you dare !
didn't know you were gonna be so weird about it .
if you decide that you don't want me around , just tell me and i will go .
you're not the only game in town , buddy , okay ?
you don't know who i hang out with .
jealousy is the reason people hate us .
you don't have to worry about labels , just like who you like .
i hope this is some sort of emergency .
you kept me waiting , so i'm gonna get right to it .
don't make this your thing , this is [ name's ] thing .
suing is how rich white people solve their problems .
i wanted to sing and show you there's nothing to be afraid of .
i'm so nervous for you ... i want to throw up and run away .
you could have me escorted out , but you have no security .
ooh , dark scary room ! you know what they call that in prison ? they call that a blind spot . great place to catch a shiv .
what kind of operation are you running here ?
you didn't do anything wrong . i was the problem , not you .
where i'm from , the guest gets the good seat .
i drink , smoke , lie , steal ... i'm drunk right now .
i will ruin him . please don't let me do that .
i'm not the one doing whatever you guys are doing ... what are you doing ?
i'm not judging , at least he's a hot mess .
it's the wolf's job to eat the sheep , so y'know ... this was bound to happen .
i will RUIN you when we get home .
i'll give it back to you in a minute , you're gonna get it back .
the suit you destroyed cost a grand !
come on , [ name ] . i'll help you get settled .
he can't know it was my idea .
she made her mean bed and she can sleep in those scratchy sheets .
woah , tough day at the office ?
what the hell did you just say to me ?
you are right ... no matter what you say about anything .
we do this all the time , but usually there's some art to it .
this is not nearly as fun as i thought it was gonna be .
you're letting a bunch of nerds pick on you with their computers ?
why don't you just systematically destroy her ?
i can see where this is headed , so i'm just gonna hit the road .
she ripped me open , stuffed me full of devastation and then sewed me back up again .
leave me alone , this is all your fault .
why are they yelling ? are they angry cause they're bad musicians ?
i will never understand your generation .
let me have it . how bad is it ?
do you have any idea what i saw in there ?
you should come and check out what's going on outside , cause i think you'll be pleasantly surprised .
i just want us to be friends again .
it would be such a silly waste of time for someone like me to be mad at someone as insignificant as you .
the truth is , i pity you .
when the universe gives you a sign , it's not up to you to ignore it .
[ name ] gave it to me . it means i'm in charge .
i'm not comfortable with the whole arrangement . where's [ name ] ?
this is outrageous ! i'm getting passed over again ?
i don't have a problem , i'm just blowing off some steam .
you wanna get in on this ?
you deserve to take a time out as much as anybody else .
sorry , i didn't realize you were the fun police .
having money has reaaally changed you .
i've lost control ?! oh no , you dumb , dumb idiot . YOU'VE lost control .
that's a gross overreaction .
i will show myself the door in a ... graceful and classy manner .
thanks for sticking around .
look , i realize i did some questionable things in there .
i just felt like the universe was giving me a sign .
i'm the only one worthy of its power !
keep it in your pants and follow my lead .
it's no offense , i just don't know you very well .
let's go over this one more time , just so we're clear .
we've already been over the terms .
what's in it for you ?
i like the element of surprise .
wasn't expecting that . are you okay ?
i saw a burglar , i didn't know what to do ... so i SMOKED his ass !
you SHOT me ! what the hell's the matter with you ?
that gunpowder's like a hundred years old , it probably just broke the skin .
what about the police ? they're expecting a gunshot victim .
guys , we've gotta move this along , okay ?
you got it , i'll get you a pillow .
you're lucky no one was killed .
here's the thing about the bordeaux ... i drank it .
i'm so sorry that you had to keep our mansion warm .
how do you think the police found them ?
if you're done criticizing me , i think i'll head on up to bed .
you want me to do the jobs no one else wants ?
can we pick this up tomorrow ? i was shot , so ... i'm very tired .
it has nothing to do with that . okay ? now please leave .
i wanted to thank you for having my back earlier .
that had nothing to do with you . i was just trying to hurt them .
it's chloroform . i found a recipe online .
[ name ] , don't come at me with that .
i was gonna do whatever it takes . i'm not a quitter.
i wanna tell you , i really do . but first there's something i need .
oh my god , you're bailing again .
innocent people don't sneak in and out of their own home .
'cause i don't like you , that's why .
i'd rather get mowed down in a hellfire of bullets than listen to you screech .
you don't have to lie . i heard you guys .
how was i supposed to know you were gonna hug me ? i didn't even know you knew how to hug .
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ddejavvu · 2 years ago
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The Right Person - Aaron Hotchner x Reader
Summary: You're good friends with Jack Hotchner, and his dad finds you crying at a house party.
Contents/Warnings: best friend's dad!hotch, legal age gap (reader is over 18), mutual pining, soft!hotch, mention of alcohol/drugs, cheating (reader's unnamed, faceless boyfriend), hurt/comfort, fem!reader
WC: 3.6K / navigation
feedback is greatly appreciated! comment, reblog, talk in the tags, send me a message, tell me what you think!
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Very few things are more embarrassing than crying at a party. You're wading through a sea of high, hammered young adults, and even if they're too out of their minds to notice the tears on your cheeks, you feel like a fool for letting them fall.
You probably shouldn't have been as naive as you were going into your relationship. You'd been blinded by the prospect of someone being interested in you, and you hadn't stopped to consider the odd behavior he'd presented. You didn't want to be the overbearing girlfriend and check his phone, but walking in on him sucking face with someone else was just about all the evidence you'll ever need.
So now you're crying, stumbling down the hall and into the front yard for a breath of fresh air. Inside it's stuffy, booze and weed clouding the air and burning at your lungs. The front steps feel like a new beginning, away from your asshole (now) ex-boyfriend and the shitty music blaring from the house.
You're not offered much solace, though, because sirens blare through the streets. You squint through your teary eyes at a squad of cop cars that screech into the driveway, black SUVs trailing behind them. Fear drags your stomach down to your feet, because despite knowing that you're sober, you still probably hold some accountability for whatever drugs they're doing in there.
You're the only one outside, save for a couple moonbathing around the side yard, but the cops start for the front door. It means you're scrambling out of the way, tempted to put your hands up just in case.
"Miss," One of the officers glances at you, "Go home. We're shutting this down."
"Oh- okay," You stammer, nodding and wiping a tear from your eye, "I-um... I have to call an uber."
The officers don't pay you any regard after that, streaming into the house. It's only when you're fumbling clumsily with your phone that anyone engages with you, and the booming voice that travels over the lawn brings immense comfort to you.
"Y/N?" It's Aaron Hotchner, Jack's dad. You'd become fast friends with Jack through a couple of shared community college courses, and you'd come to know his dad from study sessions and movie nights.
"Mr. Hotchner," You breathe, reaching up to smear a tear off of your cheek, "I- Are you- what's going on?"
"The neighbors complained about the noise" He explains, jogging across the grass to reach out for your shoulder, "What happened? Are you alright? Why are you crying?"
"I'm okay," You sniffle, now infinitely more embarrassed to be caught blubbering by your best friend's very attractive dad, "We all have to leave?"
"Don't worry about that," He murmurs, shrugging his windbreaker off of his shoulders and wrapping it around your own. Your top is sheer and too-short, and the cold air had been nipping at your skin. His jacket is warm, soft, and you realize with an aggressive heat to your cheeks, it smells like him.
"Now," He tries again, keeping his jacket securely over your shoulders, "What happened? Are you hurt?"
"No, I'm alright," You shake your head, chin to your chest, "It's dumb, it's nothing. I- I need to call an uber, I'll-"
"I will drive you home," Aaron promises, voice soothing as his hand brushes over your back, "But I need to know what's wrong."
"I don't-" You stammer, eyes rolling at how silly you sound while another wave of tears streams down your cheeks, "It's just- my boyfriend, I saw him kissing someone else. Really, it's dumb, it's nothing."
Aaron doesn't respond, not right away, but you know he's heard you. You know by the momentary tightening of his grip on your shoulder, the way that his fingers dig into your skin like he's trying to make a fist but you're getting in the way. Then he eases up, touches all soft and gentle.
"I'm sorry, honey." He coos, stepping against your chest to wrap you in a hug. He rubs your back, up and down, up and down, up and down, until you're sniffling and sobbing into his chest. He keeps his arms around you, strong and firm, his cheek flush with the crown of your head as partygoers stream out of the house around you.
He's the epitome of comfort, all sweet, low reassurances and grounding touches. He murmurs only loud enough for you to hear as you curl your fingers into his shirt, 'He didn't deserve you, honey.' and, 'You're better off without him.'
"I just didn't see it coming," You admit lamely, your voice muffled against his chest. He doesn't ease up on the hug, and you're grateful for that. The last thing you'd want to do is make him uncomfortable, but he seems to realize you need comfort right now.
"Jack... always had his thoughts about him." Aaron admits, "But I think he kept them to himself, he didn't want to ruin things for you."
"I could tell," You sigh, nestled snugly into Aaron's chest, "I... I thought they just needed time to get used to each other, you know? Like, get to know each other. But I guess not, I guess Jack was right."
"Don't tell him that," Aaron teases, "It'll go straight to his head."
You laugh, albeit weakly, against Aaron's chest, and he takes it as a win.
"Okay," He hums, giving one last broad sweep of his hand over your back, "Let's get you into the car. It's late, you should get home and get to sleep."
"Thank you for taking me home," You sniffle letting him lead you with an arm around your shoulders to one of the SUVs, "Are you sure it's okay to just take one? Weren't there other people riding with you?"
"They'll figure it out." Aaron assures you, knowing Derek will have to bite the bullet and sit in the middle seat of the back row, something he always takes an extra SUV to avoid doing, "It's okay."
Aaron helps you into the passenger's seat, even tugging at your seatbelt when you struggle to wrestle it over his jacket.
"Here," He reaches for the strap, easing it up and over a fold of the jacket that it was stuck in, "Let me."
He clicks it into place for you, and you smile tearily up at him.
He leaves you with a pat to your knee, then shuts the door.
You hear him call something to, presumably, another agent, trying not to think too hard about whatever team member of his you're depriving of a seat. Aaron doesn't let you think much about it, though, because as soon as you're pulling away from the curb, tears no longer pouring down your cheeks, the interrogation starts.
"What were you doing at a party, anyways?" Aaron glances over at you, a frown creasing his brows, "You're not the drinking type."
"I didn't go to get drunk," You shrug, "I went 'cause my boyfriend invited me."
"He invited you," Aaron repeats, "And then... wow."
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry," Aaron looks at you, stopped at a signal just outside of the neighborhood, "Really. That's awful. You deserve so much better than that."
"Thank you, Mr. Hotchner," You sniffle, "I really appreciate how kind you're being. The ride, and- and the jacket, and-"
"It's no problem," He assures you, looking you in the eyes through the mirror, "That's what you deserve, sweetheart. You don't need to thank me for it."
You have the ironic urge to thank him again.
"And you can call me Aaron." He reminds you, smiling knowingly at your reflection, "You know that."
He's made a point to tell you time and time again that you're allowed to call him by his first name. During impromptu, mid-study-session dinners, at pick-ups in the college parking lot, but you've never felt acquainted with him before, not like this. Wearing his jacket while he drives you home after a ten minute hug seems a lot better of a reason to use his first name than seeing him in passing while you're laughing with Jack.
"Aaron," You mumble, and he chuckles warmly.
You don't have much time to enjoy the sound, even if it flips your stomach into cartwheels. You wish you could savor it, but you watch Aaron take a wrong turn to your house, and a frown tugs your brows down.
"Uh, I live that way," You point behind you, "It's okay, you can just turn up there, I think."
"We're stopping somewhere first," He explains, car bouncing as he pulls into the parking lot of a convenience store, "Come with me?"
You nod, wordlessly, climbing out of the car. He's already around to your side when you step out, looking only a little upset that he hadn't gotten to open the door for you. He shuts it, though, and catches his jacket when it slips from around your shoulders.
"Oh-! Here," He holds the material open, urging you to fit your arms through the slots, "Put it on, honey."
You blame his honey-sweet tone of voice for how clumsy you are in slipping into the jacket. It's unfair, really, how he's treating you like a precious thing, wrapping you in his jacket and driving you home. Then he zips it for you, all the way up to your chin, and you think you're in love.
The cool night air feels even more now like a fresh start. Thoughts of your awful ex-boyfriend have been looming over you the entire time, but they ebb away with each caring gesture Aaron shows you. It takes every ounce of self control in your body not to tackle him into a kiss when he takes your hand, leading you into the convenience store.
He beelines for the frozen section, grabbing a handheld basket on the way. He stops you right in front of the ice creams, only dropping your hand to gesture at the display case.
"Go ahead," He urges you, "Pick some. That's proper breakup ritual, I hear."
"Aaron, no-!"
"It's a rite of passage," He cuts you off, something stern in his eyes even if they're primarily kind, "Just- here. You like cookies and cream, right?" He eyes a container of the flavor behind the glass, and you nod tentatively, wondering how he'd remembered. You'd only eaten it once at his house, and he'd only known because he'd caught you washing your bowl out, and insisted on doing it himself because you were a guest.
He pushes the basket into your hands, and you watch begrudgingly as he takes two quarts of ice cream from the shelf. You protest weakly as he ushers you to the counter, but he shushes you gently, stepping in front of you to pay.
"Aaron," You mumble, cheeks hot and voice whiny as he waits for the cashier to ring him up. You knock your face against his back, burying it there for safekeeping, and he reaches back to pat your side.
The total isn't egregious, but it's more than you're happy with him spending on you. Of course, you don't have cash, so you're unable to pay him back, either. You'll have to slip Jack money the next time you see him, but you have a sneaking suspicion he'd use it at the school's vending machine instead.
"Thank you," You gush, voice still thick with embarrassment and cheeks still burning as Aaron leads you back to the SUV. He's slipped his hand back into yours, and he tucks the ice cream at your feet when you're settled into your seat.
"Again," He urges, resting his hand over your own where they lay in your lap, "Don't thank me. I'm only treating you like you deserve."
If he notices the monumental smile you try to bite back, he doesn't tease you about it.
He pulls into your driveway shortly after, with no further detours. You're renting a little ground-floor condo, and he walks you to your door with your ice cream in hand.
"Alright," He sighs, passing the bag over to you, "I think you have to watch a romance movie with this," He glances at the bag, "It's the law, I'm pretty sure."
"Oh, yeah?" You grin, the expression brighter than it would have been a half-hour ago, "What if I don't? Are the police gonna show up?"
"I will," He threatens, a warm smile on his face, "And I'm a bit of an ice cream fiend, so don't tempt me."
"Well there's two quarts..." You raise your brows, a silent invitation.
"I don't want to intrude," He starts, but you cut him off before he can even try.
"Mr.- Aaron," You hesitate, voice coming out meager where you want it confident, "I really don't want to be alone right now."
You almost expect him to leave. Sure, he'd been sweet to you tonight. But you're nervous that his sympathy was temporary, and that it's waning. So you stare at his shirt instead of his eyes, and you miss the way his gaze softens.
"Okay." He nods, one foot stepping forwards towards the threshold of your condo, "Okay honey. I'll stay."
Your condo isn't much. You're a college student, not a CEO, and your shoddy furniture tells that story. Aaron doesn't seem to mind, though, setting the bag on the counter and rummaging for spoons.
"You sure you want to share?" He eyes you where you've sat yourself on the couch, quarts and spoons in hand as he joins you.
"I'm sure," You nod, reaching for the tv remote, "I think I'd get sick if I ate two cartons."
A romance movie isn't hard to find, but you feel yourself developing a pounding headache from the exhaustion of crying. The ice cream is sweet on your tongue, cookies crunching between your teeth and staining them dark. You munch through the first half of the movie, digging into the carton with a greedy spoon each time. You don't even breach the halfway point before you have to stop, eyes closing and head pounding.
Aaron's similarly engaged with his ice cream, spoon upside-down in his mouth as he sucks it clean. You try not to stare at his mouth, but you're bashful as you place the lid back on your ice cream tub.
"I'm gonna beat you," Aaron boasts, digging his spoon back in for more ice cream, "Quitter."
"Go ahead," You sigh, head lolling back against the cushions. Your voice is colored with defeat, sad and dull. Aaron suspects it's not just about your unspoken ice cream eating contest.
"C'mere," He sighs, jamming his spoon into his ice cream and wrapping his now free arm around your shoulders. He urges you against his shoulder, something that you'd wanted to do since the moment you'd sat down, but didn't have the guts to.
"I'm sorry, honey." He reminds you as you lay your head against his shoulder, his constant slew of sympathy warming your chest, "He's an idiot."
"I feel like the idiot," You admit, voice in a low grumble, "I should have known it was too good to be true."
He pauses, stiffens, shifts. He's turned to face you, now, nudging your head off of his shoulder so he can look you in the eye. He's frowning, "What do you mean?"
"I mean, like... I dunno." You sigh in defeat, "I wasn't exactly everyone's dream girl in high school. And when I started college and everyone seemed older and more mature, it was comforting, like a fresh start. And then he took an interest in me, and I felt like things were finally starting to work for me, like I was finally a girl that guys liked. And then... well, you know the story. It just feels like I should have known better."
All the while, through your confession, Aaron's face has twisted itself into the deepest frown you've ever seen on the man. It looks like it's embedded permanently into his features, like he's stuck there from now on. It's almost cartoonish, and you'd laugh if you weren't so sad.
"Don't say that." He orders, voice stern.
"What?"
"Don't say that." He repeats, "This is not your fault. You were not supposed to see it coming, nor does it mean that people don't like you. College boys are..." He deliberates carefully on his word choice, seeing as he has one himself, "Impulsive. And impulsivity can sometimes be channeled into some pretty stupid shit. Like cheating on your girlfriend. Okay? It's not your fault that college boys are stupid."
"But-" You start with a choked voice, and his disapproving glare intensifies, "He wouldn't have cheated on me if I wasn't doing something wrong, would he? Or- or maybe I just am wrong, maybe I'm just not the type of person that's good enough to make someone stay."
"That is," He rushes to reply, reaching up to thumb a tear away from the apple of your cheek, "The dumbest thing I've ever heard." His hand rests there now, flush to your face, and there's a cold stripe down the middle where he'd been holding his spoon. His fingers are chilly too, but they warm against your skin.
"You are not wrong, there is nothing about you that makes you 'not good enough'. I can think of a thousand things that make you wonderful, but not one dealbreaker. Listen to me, please." He's leaning in, getting closer and closer with every word that tumbles from his lips, "There are people who fall in love with serial killers. No one is unlovable, certainly not you."
"But- but those people fall in love with serial killers because they're serial killers. That's- that's a thing about them, that's a lifestyle that people glorify. No one glorifies mediocrity, Aaron," Your heart sinks, "And that's what I am. I'm mediocre, maybe I'm good enough to take home for a night but I'm not good enough to live with."
In all of your frantic blubbering, you'd avoided eye contact with Aaron. Snapping back to focus, though, you see that it's impossible now, that he's close enough that your noses are brushing, and his breath is fanning over your mouth. Your own breath hitches in your throat, and your heart pounds.
His eyes, once stern and disapproving, are soft around the edges. They're chocolatey, and they speak to his sweet soul that's compelling him to stroke his thumb over the pudge of your cheek. You think for all the world that he's going to kiss you, you almost beg for it, but at the last minute, he tilts his head down, not forwards.
His forehead presses to your own, and his eyes shut.
"You are," He murmurs, holding you close, keeping your face flush to his, "The perfect girl. You're sweet, you're kind, you're funny, you're caring, you're so pretty, you're hardworking, you're resilient, you are... I could name a thousand other things. And, one day," His eyes flutter open, staring into your own as best he can at such a close proximity, "The right person will tell you that."
Aaron is the right person. He has to be, you can't imagine anyone else in the world being as kind or sweet with you as he is. And after all, that's what he says you deserve, right? The way his hand fits around your face seems like a piece of your puzzle you'd never known was missing until it snapped into place, and if you could steal his voice sea-witch style just to hear it all day long, you would.
It's a staring contest, and you blink first.
"I'm glad you told me," You admit, voice thick with emotion. You're not sure whether he picks up on the fact that you're designating him as the right person or not, but you choose not to think about it as he pulls you impossibly closer.
"Don't thank me," He reminds you, "it's what you deserve. Are you tired?"
"Yeah." You admit, slumping your forehead against him even as he tries moving away. It means that your skin slips against his lips, and he presses them into a pucker against your head. You'll savor the feeling forever.
"Go to sleep," He urges you, hand still on your cheek to guide it back to his shoulder. You curl into him much easier now, feeling lovey enough even to wrap your arms around one of his own. The movie plays forgotten on the tv, and your eyes shut to the vision of Aaron's lap, ice cream abandoned between his thighs. It's a nice image, but one you can't think too hard about while sleepy.
His hand comes up from where it had been draped over the cushions behind you to rub your back. He applies soft, gentle pressure, stroking up and down over the fabric of your- his jacket, one that you hope he doesn't take off of you before he leaves. It's grounding, and it only makes you burrow into him more.
The way you know he's the right person for sure is by fighting sleep. You want to conserve your time with Aaron, and you don't want to forget the feeling of his tender touches. You're in that floaty space between sleep and consciousness, somewhere with bodliy sensation but little cognitive ability. Your brain is pleasantly cloudy, and Aaron's hand on your back never stops.
When your breathing evens out, Aaron thinks you're asleep. You feel him shift ever-so-slightly, and you're worried he'll leave you. But he doesn't, he gets even closer, and you feel his lips land on the crown of your head.
"Perfect," He murmurs into your scalp, vibrations thrumming through your skull and wriggling their way into your brain, cementing the thought there, "G'night, sweetheart."
You drift to sleep knowing, without a doubt, that Aaron is the right person for you.
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feedback is greatly appreciated! comment, reblog, talk in the tags, send me a message, tell me what you think!
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lostfirefly · 6 months ago
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They say it's your birthday, we're going to have a good time
I'm in a pretty good mood today, and finally finished Buggy's birthday fic. I'll be honest, I originally planned a different scenario, but it was rewritten. We're waiting for another birthday fic with Buggy and my OC. English isn't my native language, errors may occur. As always, feel free to share your thoughts :)
Buggy and F/GN Reader - Masterlist is here.
Description: Buggy's birthday. You want to cheer him up.
Words: 2369
Taglist: @gingernut1314, @operationroots
The title is taken from “Birthday” by The Beatles.
✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏
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“That was great, pumpkin.” Buggy flopped down on the bed, breathing heavily. 
“A sexy present for the birthday boy.” You curled up in a ball and snuggled close to his chest. 
“I'm ready to receive gifts like that every day.” He hugged you tighter.
“How do you feel yourself today?” You started stroking his hand.
Buggy exhaled and mumbled in your hair. “Old.”
“You're not old, you're only 38.” You took his hand and squeezed it.
“Yes? What have I accomplished by the time I'm 38?” Buggy looked at you with sad eyes.  “I didn't find the treasure. Fucking little kid in a straw hat beat me again. He's annoying as hell. I want to kill that little shit myself.”
“You will kill him, my love. You will.” You pecked him on his nose. “But today, we don't remember that bastard. Today is the birthday of my favorite Captain Buggy the Clown! And I've got a few presents for you!”
“Wasn't morning sex a present?” Buggy giggled idiotically.
“No, asshole. Wait here!” You threw on a robe and ran to the closet. 
“Why are you wearing a robe, Y/N? I like your naked body!”
“Shut up!” You ran back and jumped on the bed. “So, this’s my gift number one.” You held out the box in his hands. 
“Gift number two.” Buggy showed you two fingers. “Don't discount sex, baby.”
“Open the present, please!” You pecked him on his lips. “Happy birthday, my clown! I love you!”
“Thanks, pumpkin. Okay, let’s see…” Buggy shook the box and opened the lid. “New brushes?”
“Yeah.” You took the brush and twirled it in your hands. “Your brushes have seen better days. I stole them when we were on the island.”
“What did you do?” Buggy looked at you with round eyes and started laughing. “You stole them? For me? I don't know how to react to that statement, baby. I'm either shocked or flattered. My girl's turning into a thief, huh?”
“That's your bad influence, jackass.” You pecked him on his lips again. “There's another gift in there. It's a box in a box. Open up! Open up!”
“All right!” Buggy opened another lid. “New gloves?”
“Yeah. Your old ones are worn out too, and I'm having a hard time sewing them up. Oh! There's another present in there.” You've been chewing on your finger waiting. 
“You’re spoiling me, baby. Okay! What have we got here?” Buggy pulled out a braided leather bracelet in the shape of bones. 
“I made it especially for you!” You took the bracelet in your hands and tied it on his hand. “And you see the ties here. Look, there's your Jolly Roger on the ends.”
“You made this for me?” Buggy rose his hand to have a closer look. 
“Of course I made! You'll wear it and remember me all day long.” You kissed his temple. “Okay! I have another present, but it's in the kitchen.”
“Oh, no, Y/N. I don't want to get up. I don't want anything at all.” Buggy flopped down on the bed and covered himself with a blanket. 
“But why, baby? It's your birthday!” You started stroking his body. 
“So what?” Buggy mumbled from under the blanket. “I don't want anything. I want to lie like this all day. I'm a worthless clown. And this worthless clown wants to spend his birthday under the blanket. I'll see you tomorrow, Y/N. Go away!” 
“Oh, no! That's not gonna work! You put your pants on right now, and we're going to the kitchen. Where's my fun-loving, booze-swilling Buggy gone?” You lifted the blanket and looked at his displeased face.
“He's still in his 37s.” Buggy lowered the blanket. “If we don't have sex again, I'm going to sleep.” 
“Get up!” You grabbed his legs and pulled him off the bed. 
“What the fuck, pumpkin? What are you doing?!” Buggy fell to the floor with a crash. “Fuck, my back!”
“Put your pants on. We're going to the kitchen.”
Buggy rolled his eyes, growled, and reluctantly started to get dressed. He was grumbling the whole time. As he put on his pants, while he put on his socks and t-shirt. Buggy mumbled he didn't want anything and asked to be left alone. You pecked his cheek to cheer him up, took his hand and dragged him into the kitchen. You opened the door with a wide smile and... there was no one in the kitchen. 
“Bunch of idiots!” You muttered under your breath
“Did you bring me to see an empty kitchen? I’m fucking impressed, Y/N. Wow!” Buggy clapped his hands. 
“No! There was supposed to be a surprise!” You look around the room. 
“You mean the surprise where the idiots jump up from the fucking tables and yell "surprise"?” Buggy placed his hand on your shoulder.
“Yeah. I don't know where everybody went.” You glanced at him and was about to cry. 
“Honey, they're still here.” 
“Where?”
“I see Mohji's head ri-i-i-ght there.” Buggy pointed his finger at the table. “Watch and learn how to do it.” He blew his whistle and a sleepy crew came out from behind the tables. 
“Are you kidding me? What the fuck, guys?” You clasped your hands.
“Sorry, Y/N.” Mohji rubbed his eyes. “We were waiting for you and fell asleep.” 
“Assholes!” You stomped your foot. “You didn't have to do much. Wait a little while, jump up from the table and shout happy birthday! Is it too much I asked you?”
The team shrugged and scratched their heads in sync. “Oh, right! Happy birthday, our incomparable Captain Buggy! You are our sun, sea and stars. We wish you-- Well, all the best.”
You and Buggy were both squinting at that bad show. 
“I can't, Y/N.” Mohji became nervous. “You and the Captain look at me with the same expression, I'm frightened.”
“Get outta here!” You said angrily, but nobody moved. “Are you kidding me, right?” 
“Watch and learn again, pumpkin!” Buggy ruffled your hair. “Hey, you, fucking fat lazy sea rats. Let's all get out of here.” He barked at everyone and the whole crew quickly ran out of the kitchen. 
“I'm sorry, please.” You looked at him with sad eyes. “That was supposed to be nice.”
“Forget it, as you said, they are bunch of idiots.” Buggy plopped down on the chair. 
“But we're still celebrating your birthday, my love!” You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him on his cheek. 
“Can I go back to bed? I want to celebrate it there.” Buggy rolled his eyes. 
“No! I've got a present for you. Fi-i-irst!! That's a beer!” You ran to the fridge and took his favorite beer. “Tw-o-o-o-o! It's this deliciousness.” You put a huge cake on the table. “Happy birthday, my favorite Captain! The most fearsome and fearless Captain of all the seas! The one who's going to be king of the pirates!” You noticed how Buggy looked at the cake in surprise. “What is it? You don't like it?”
“Are you kidding me?” Buggy twisted the plate in different directions. “It's a cake shaped like a pile of hot dogs! How did you sneak it in here?”
You blushed and giggled. “I didn’t sneak it! I've been baking it for two days. It's got sponge cake, cream and nuts inside. Just the way you like it.”
“Looks yummy! But can I go back to bed after cake?” 
“Stop grumbling, Buggy!” You stroked his cheek. “We're celebrating your birthday! Today, you're resting and doing nothing.”
“That's why I want to go to bed, Y/N!” Buggy glanced at you. “To rest and to do nothing. But we can relax together, if you know what I mean.”
“I always know what you mean, baby.” You tapped him on the shoulders. 
“Pumpkin, I wanna go to bed!” 
“No!” You put some candles in the cake. “Here! Make a wish and blow out the candles.”
Buggy looked at you, rolled his eyes and sighed. “Fine! I wish to be the king of the pirates, I wish that little boy and his hat out of my life. I wish to sail the seas till I'm old.”
“Hey!” You put your hands on the table and placed your chin on the palms. “Where am I on that wish list?”
“All right! I wish to be the king of the pirates, I wish that little boy and his hat out of my life. I wish to sail the seas till I'm old with Y/N. Is that okay?” Buggy blew out the candles and you clapped happily.
“Yes! Try it!” You put the fork in Buggy’s hands, he carefully broke off a piece with the fork and put the cake in his mouth. A small smile appeared on his face and he broke off another piece. “Like it?”
“Very tasty, Y/N! No one had baked me cakes before.” He took your hand and pulled you onto his lap. “Can the old loser go to bed now?”
“You’re not old. And not a loser.” You ate a piece of cake from Buggy’s fork. 
“C'mon!” He took another piece of cake. “This fucking kid and his red-haired friend are probably already worth a million of money, and I can’t even add a couple of hundreds to my wanted poster.”
“What are you talking about?” You took a sip of his beer. “The marines are already giving you much more money for your head than when we met. And I'm sure they will give even more soon. Because you’re amazing!” You kissed him on his cheek. “Oh! You know, I know how to cheer you up!”
“Are we going to bed?” Buggy took a sip and ate another piece of cake. 
“No, you fool. Grab the cake, the booze and let's go.” 
Buggy shrugged, took everything with him, and you dragged him into the ship's large storage room. Inside, everything was littered with barrels, hay and bags, but thanks to the large windows, the room was not dark. 
“Put everything on this barrel!” You looked at Buggy, who was taking a bite of the cake without a fork. “Seriously? You just eat like a pig.”
“I'm a pirate, I don't know about manners. And your cake is delicious.” He walked closer to you and put his hand on your waist. “Nuts. Tasty!”
“You're covered in cake, my Buggy the Clown.” You wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Wait here! I’ll be back.” You ran away somewhere for a minute and quickly came back. Buggy continued to eat the cake with his hands and sip his beer. “Look what I’ve got!” You handed the leaflets into his hands.
“If this is such a fucking twisted way to humiliate me, then you got it, pumpkin. Why did you bring them here?” Buggy was shaking posters of Luffy and Shanks in his hand. 
“We're going to have fun now! These two assholes hurt my boyfriend. We're going to hurt them now.” You pecked him on the cheek, grabbed the posters and pinned them to the board. "We'll throw darts at them and tell why we hate them." 
“Are you okay in your head?” Buggy chuckled. 
“Completely. I won't let anyone hurt my baby.” 
“And exactly for this, I love you so much, Y/N!” Buggy stood up, groaning, and came closer to you. “I'm the first to throw at their posters.”
“It is your birthday today.” You gave him another peck on the cheek and ran to drink a beer. “And let’s start our private party!!”
“Okay. I hate you, the guy in the hat and that red-haired guy because you're always fucking positive!” Buggy threw a dart and hit Luffy in the hat. “Fuck, yes!”
“Woohoo!!!” You happily picked up the bottle and kicked your legs. “Let's take one more shot!” 
“Okay! I hate you for stealing my map!” Buggy threw the dart again and hit Luffy in the nose. “Take it, asshole!” 
“Oh, Buggy! Can I try to kick them?!” He beckoned you with his hand and placed the dart in your palm. “I’m about to throw it at the redhead. I hate you for hurting my Captain!” You threw a dart at Shanks' poster and hit him in the forehead.  “Yes, fuck!” You high-fived Buggy with both hands. 
“Now it's me again! I hate that you tricked me with the fucking map when we were in Marineford.” Buggy threw a dart. 
“Yes! Red-haired asshole!” You took a sip of beer. “Me now!!” You took the dart. “I hate you, hat boy, that you're the reason Buggy ended up in jail.”
Buggy cleared his throat. “Baby, technically…”
“Doesn't matter! It's his fault anyway!” You threw the dart and hit Luffy in his neck. “I won't even apologize.” You placed the dart in Buggy's hand. “Your turn.”
“Because of you I was struck by fucking lightning!” He hit in Luffy's forehead. “Yeah! I’m still good!” 
“Of course, you're! Can I throw it again?” Buggy took your hand, gave you the dart and kissed you on the top of your head.
You rubbed the dart with your palms. “Oh! I know! You are both so correct and honest. Look at us from your posters. Well, like real gentlemen. I hate gentlemen!” You threw a dart and hit Shanks in the eye. “Yes!” 
“This is my girl!” Buggy hugged you and kissed your head again. “Thank you!”
“Are you feeling better now?” You hugged him around his waist. 
“Oh, definitely!” 
“I propose to continue our “I hate you” sheet!” You looked into his eyes.
“I don't mind. But first…” Buggy pulled you closer and kissed you on the lips.
“What are you doing?” You moved your head a little. “Somebody might come here!” 
“And? Fuck it. It's my birthday today and I want another gift! This game has me a little turned on.” Buggy threw you over his shoulder and carried you to the hay. “We've never done this in the hay before, right? Let’s try!”
“BUGGY!!!! Let me go!” You started kicking your legs. 
“I can not hear you, Y/N!! I’m an old, deaf clown.” 
“Damn you, Buggy. Okay. Let's try it in the hay. Happy birthday, jerk!”
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fertilize-my-eggs · 25 days ago
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Sex and candy
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(oneshot) pair: tomura shigaraki x fem reader smut, no quirk + modern au. Happy Halloween everyone, hope y'all enjoy this story 😄. A03
“ What should I dress for this Halloween tomura? ” I tilt my head towards the blue haired man with the black hoodie while he was playing his switch.
“ since toga invited us to come to her party.. ” I look at the princess outfits then the leopard print outfit as I show them to him.
“ switch one do you think looks nice to wear? ” he slowly raises his eyes up as he starts to blush as he looks away.
“ well??? ”
“....”
“ leopard print. ”
“ huh? Do you think so?? But it looks… ” I looked down at it, it was full body and skin tight as I started to blush. My roommate wants me to dress like this, I mean I did ask him.
We are both single and I haven't found a boyfriend… I tilt my head as I think.
“ Look, you'll look fine in it… I'll dress up as a reaper or uh… something video game character like chief or Mario. ”
I narrowed my eyes on him. “ … But we could dress up as peach and Mario though. ” he quickly shook his head as he began to blush more.
I puff my cheek as he let out an annoyed groan as he shoveled the leopard print towards me.
“ forget what I say, you'll dress this while I dress as the reaper ok? ” I've never seen him so jumpy and quickly grab the items as we got to the register. 
Tomura shigaraki has always been so closed minded, busy with video games and would avoid me when I move in with him as his roommate. The first time I moved in, he was shy and quiet.
But now he would blush whenever he sees me and clearly moves to a different room when I walk in. He's such a strange guy but I'll have to learn to accept his weirdness as his roommate.
I sigh softly as we head home, he quick with his steps like he wants to leave me in the dust.
“ Hey Tomura, slow down!! The party hasn't started yet. ” I caught up to him as we were heading inside our house.
I hear the door slam shut as I sigh heavily. Maybe he's in a sour mood but I can't do anything about it, he's probably stressed or nervous.
I need to get into the shower quickly. I checked the time on the clock as it was one hour for the party.
We could get here early and get the drinks.
Yeah that sounds like a good plan. Maybe shigaraki will let loose and get comfortable with me.
I head into the bathroom as I get clean for the party, I scrub my body parts, face and make sure I smell like soap from head to toe.
Once I finished cleaning, I got out and got into the outfit.. I knew it, it was difficult to get it on.
So I called tomura for help.
Tomura opened the door as he had a shocked facial expression as I say.
“ Hey dude, can you please help me with the zipper, it's difficult to pull. ” He didn't say anything, he approached me as he was being careful to pull the zipper up.
I could have sworn I saw his nose bleeding, I was gonna ask him if he was okay but he shoved me outside as he began to take a shower.
Okay rude… I walk into my room, check in the mirror, I start to blush deep red.
I look… really good in it, I think that's probably why tomura was flustered, I think anyone wouldn't be able to take their eyes off of me.
The skin tight hugs the right curves of my body, I see the tail swinging side to side as I pull my phone out to take pictures.
I hear a loud thud sound nearby as I'm assuming it was just tomura being clumsy.
I sigh softly … should I check on him but I don't think it that bad… right?
I head towards the bathroom, the water is running but I hear some… groans? 
I knocked on the door.” Hey Tomura, are you alright? ” Silence was my answer but I heard the running water as I shook my head.
It was probably nothing.
.
.
.
“ Hey girl, you made it already!! Let's have a blast with some booze for Halloween!!  ” toga gave me a big hug as she dragged me into the kitchen, tomura followed behind us.
“ great costumes!! You're gonna kill it with all the cute boys in that outfit. ” I started to blush from her comment, I didn't notice that shigaraki had a different mood, I didn't notice.
“ tomura-kun, you look cool in that reaper outfit. ” I started to notice his body language just now. Why is he upset? He didn't answer back, he just nodded his head and clearly ignored her.
“ Well then here is the booze that my boyfriend izuku got us today. "It was a lot of good and expensive alcohol and some Halloween candies as well.
“ I need to drink.. ” I hear Tomura say as he grabs a whiskey, he begins to drink, I grab some candies and fruity cocktails that toga made for me.
It was bright green with some Halloween candies in it as I drank it. It was sweet but strong as I could taste the alcohol but it was more like pineapple.
The hours went on, people were crowded as I drank and ate candies until tomura grab my hand and dragged me into a random room.
“ what your problem dude, you been pissy and-.. ”
I blink a few times to feel something soft but rough skin press against my lips, I realized that he kissed me.
I'm being pushed up against the wall as we continue to kiss each other.
I grab and pull his hair as he growls low.
He gently pulls away as I want to pull him closer.
“ I really love you.. I was.. ” he pressed his forehead against mine as my drunk mind was processing that he was confessing his love.
“ I'm stupid for not asking you out sooner, you're one of the coolest girls I've met and I- ” he didn't finish his sentence as he continued to kiss me.
He pulls my hip closer to him as he begins to grind his hard cock, I can feel it warm and against my tight outfit.
“ The outfit is driving me insane, I don't want anyone having you. ” he growls as he bites my neck, I whine out feeling myself getting wet by him and his low raspy voice.
“ you're mine, no one can have you, you hear me. ” I couldn't speak as I nodded my head, he was satisfied with it.
Suddenly I gasp as I feel a cold mental against the tights as I look down to see a knife, he holding a knife. I would be scared by this but since I'm heavily drunk, this is such a turn on.
He dragged it slowly and pressed it lightly.
“ your time is up little kitty~ what you gotta say? ” Is he role playing in character? This sounds fun as I play in character as well.
“ purrr~. Take me as yours mr. reaper, fuck me! ” His bright red eyes dilate fast as he licks his lips as he chuckles a bit loud.
“ game over. ”
He doesn't waste time as he pulls me up and towards the bed as I giggle, he throws me onto the bed as I gasp.
He used the knife to cut the fabric as I watched him rip the outfit.
I would be pissed off by this but I can finally relax from this outfit. The only problem is we are going to have sex in my best friend’s house and I don't have extra clothes for the morning.. maybe toga will give me some clothes.
I don't have time to think as I feel a warm wet object on my skin as I moan out, I look down to see Shigaraki licking my skin as he quickly pulls out an item.
It was a candy bar as he ripped it open and put it on my skin. I moaned loudly as I watched him chew the candy bar.
He licked it clean as he cut the underwear and decided to put it into his pocket.
“ Wait, it's not fair that I'm naked.. I want to see you reaper~ ” he was hesitant and removed the clothes one by one.
He has a slim body but I couldn't help but stare at him, he looks beautiful like this.
 
I noticed he was… nervous, why?
“ are you ok-”
I moan loudly as I feel him nipping on my thighs slowly moving towards my core.
I close my eyes shut, I felt a tap on my legs as I open wide to get a look, it… a lot, his burning red eyes staring at me as he has smirk on his face as he licked my clit.
“ eyes on me wild kat~ ” I felt his tongue lick my entrance as I gasp and moan in pleasure. 
This feels amazing jesus christ!
I can feel some other item as I hear chewing and loud slurping.
“ ahh tomura~? ” I moan loudly as I raise up to get a better look, I realized he's eating another candy bar while giving me oral.. this is insane.
He pulls away as he smiles at me.” what? Never done this before kitty cat.. ” he licks his lips as I look away from him.
“..... no. It feels interesting. ” he tilted his head as he chuckled.
“ aww you're a cute baby, I'll give it to you every day if you want. "Huh? Before I had any time to speak, he dragged my legs towards him as he began to suck and lick harder than ever.
Holy shit!!! I-I’m gonna..
No warning, I cum onto his face as he drinks it up as he groan against my cunt.
“ taste better than the candy.. so sweet and tasty. ” I heard him chuckle as he pressed kisses on my lower lips as he moved away.
“ but I want to try the main storyline~ ” I tilt my head confused by it as I gasp out loud, he turns me onto my belly as I feel his hand on my hips.
I felt his tip rub my clit as I felt it hot and slowly moved to my hole as he leaned in.
“ Happy Halloween my player two~ ” I rolled my eyes back as I felt him press kiss onto my neck and felt his cock slide inside of me.
My Hymen breaks by his size and it feels like I'm breaking in two. It starts off very slow and tender.
He growled softly as he slowly built as I reached higher and higher to orgasm. 
The loud cries and groans echo in the room as I grips the sheet.
His slim hip slam against my ass, each thrust feels like my lung is coming out any minute, I arch my back calling his name as I reach my high.
I began to shake as he wouldn't stop his thrusts, his cock inside of me felt so good.
I lay my head on the pillow as I watch him from below.
He looks gorgeous like this, tongue out, sweat running down his face, his hands gripping my cheeks tight as I see him roll his eyes back.
“ shit-... I'm.. I-.. ” I hear him yell my name loudly as I feel the hot liquid fill my womb up as I throw my butt against him, I want more.
I don't want this to stop as I smile at him, the room smells of sex, booze and candy.
“ tomura~ ahh I want more.”
He rise his brow towards me as he begins to smirk.
“ Do you want more? ”
“ y-yeah..”
I felt his fingers on my neck as he pulled me closer towards him.
No warning, he pulled fully out that cost a gush sound only for me to whine loudly as he slammed inside of me.
The bed begins to shake, I roll my eyes back, I couldn't think straight only him and his fat cock.
“ please, oh fuck!! ”
“ please what? Use your words kitty. Wild leopard can’t handle this dick? ” He was too cocky for this, I want to make a smart ass remark but his tip is hitting my cervix, I felt another coming soon.
“ please fuck me harder TOMURA OH FUCK ME!! ” I cry louder as I feel his ball slapping against my clit as my saliva runs down my chin.
I start to gag as Tomura slide his fingers into my mouth as he whispers.
“ not so loud beautiful, I don't want anyone hearing your beauty while I'm fucking you this good. "It triggered me as my second orgasm came crashing down on me like a lightning bolt. 
My whole body shaking uncontrollably, I feel the sheet getting soaked by my juice as I gag on shigaraki’s fingers calling his name in prayer.
I collabs on the sheet, if tomura wasn't holding my hips, I would be fully laying here but he show no mercy on me.
I felt his hands gripping and slapping my cheek until it was a nice shade of red.
I hear him groan my name as I feel him pressed against me and whispers sweet nothing into my ear.
The warmth in my belly felt nice as he lay on top of me not removing away.
His thick cock stays still as I feel my eyes heavily as I look at him.
“ Happy Halloween tomura. ” his voice became more raspy and rough as he chuckled.
“ Happy Halloween baby.. rest for a bit because I can't keep my love inside any longer, I need to… feel you. ” I begin to blush as he kisses my lips, I sigh into the kiss as he removes away.
“ I can get used to this…. That was intense. ”
“ it'll be more of that player two~ let's cuddle and rest for a minute.. I think we both need some water and towels. ”
We both have good laughs as we begin to cuddle and feel like this is the best Halloween ever.
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shunshunrika · 1 year ago
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Rin Itoshi stares at you during the party as rainbow hues of LED light up your face in fractals. You stare back, doe-eyed, unsure of why you're being looked at with such intensity.
You know him as the guy who is usually aloof and barely gives anyone the time of the day. He's beautiful af, everyone wants him. He knows that they want him. But if won't bat his long underlashes at them. Yet, he sits, slumped back into the couch, surrounded by a bunch of rowdy boys, sipping intently on his can of beer while looking directly at you.
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You decide you need to ignore him and focus on the party and the music and the booze, but Rin is smarter than that and even more stubborn. He makes his way to you, one conversation at a time. He has spoken gibberish gossip to 3 people beside you until he finally gets to you and traps you into a talk. Surprisingly, he seems like a good conversationalist.
It isn't until you are deep into some topic that you realize that the party has moved on without you and now you are alone with Rin in the house, with a few passed out drunkards.
"Let's get out of here." he says, grabbing your hand and ushering you towards the door. He nimbly takes your hand and looks at you yet again.
"Is it just me or your name is really pretty, Y/N." he says, his eyes getting glassy.
"How do you know my name?" you ask, your voice rising in panic. He quickly shuts his ears with his hands and after seeing you gawk, smirks at you.
"I'm kidding." He says, raising his hand to tuck a lock of your hair behind your ear.
"I could really kiss you right now."
"U-uhm?" you hesitate but his hands are already around your waist, snaking up your back.
"Will you let me?" There he goes with his killer gaze again. You can only reply with a really embarrassed face. "O-okay."
He swoops down on you like a starved man. His hands coming closer to grab your neck and tilt your face to give him better access. You let your hands wander and find purchase in his silky hair as you deepen the sultry kiss. The two of you sweat in the humid weather as you can hear crickets fill in the silence of midnight, other than all the sloppy smooching noises the two of you are making. You can taste the beer on his tongue and wonder if he can taste your cherry lipbalm.
You soon hear footsteps and a familiar voice call out to you.
"Oi, Oi, Oi. I'll film this and put it on xxxvideos." It's Shidou who has caught you.
You finally separate after what feels like minutes and try to catch your breaths. Rin and you stare at each other, dumfounded for a minute before breaking out into laughter.
a/n: kind of a self insert drabble because this happened to me in real life lol. minus the kissing part because hahaha I can't, i ran away when I felt the sexual tension build up and he was staring too hard. But damn was that guy just like Rin - bitch exterior, warm interior. I keep seeing him every now and then, here and there, he's pretty.
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corvidcrossbow · 7 months ago
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Every time I listen to Hazey by Glass Animals I just think of young Daryl like hhhhhhhuuuuuuuuu (I've been a Glass Animals fan for so many years and it's eating at me)
I imagine the verses would be a back forth between Daryl and his parents, and then you.
C/W: Mentions of abuse, alcoholism, smoking, parental death, Daryl's trauma
Your baby's falling, you know I'm talking now
You know I'm dancing, you know I'm racing 'round
No no you're so juiced, you said you'd kick the booze
You know I'll get bruised, you know that I'm just a boy
First verse would be a young him towards his father, his dad once saying he'd be sober - but of course that was broken following his mothers death, and it never held much truth or promise to begin with.
Daryl was just a little kid (I say 8 or so), and would try to use that as leverage, crying and pleading when his fathers abuse first started to really pick up. He'd always tell him to shut up and stop crying, which is where Daryl's tendencies to be closed off and hide emotions were cemented into his psyche - to 'take it like a man'. He'd hear it from Merle too under other contexts, who'd picked it up from their dad - but also bullies, teachers or most anyone else, that's just how it is growing up in the rural south.
Daryl never got to be a boy, he had to be a man.
Come back baby, don’t you cry
Don’t you drain those big blue eyes
I’ve been crawling
Come back baby, don’t you cry
Just you say the reason why
I can calm you
The chorus would be how Daryl would imagine his mom. He'd sit alone in the woods, or lay in bed in the dark, and try to hear the sound of his mothers voice - her comforting tone, arms reaching out as he'd run to her, feeling like he was crawling to her, and she'd hold him tight. She'd wipe the tears from his glassy big blue eyes. 'Wha's wrong sweetheart? Why're you cryin'? You can tell me. Shhh, shhhh... I'm here baby.'
He so badly wanted her back. To tell her everything, for her to save him from his father. Maybe she wasn't the best mother in the world, there'd been issues. But she was his mom. 'Pleas', momma... com' back...'
You say I’m bawling, I say I’m begging while
You take my photo, I fake my breaking smile
I’m fucking loco, I can’t get through to you
You turn your nose you, spark up and I can go
And again with the crying, Daryl's father would just say he was being 'a wimp' or 'a pussy'. Daryl had to learn how to mask everything, to act like it was all okay. Whether at school, in public, with friends, other family, or when Merle would come around - he needed to pretend what was happening wasn't happening. Maybe even then he could believe it too, that it wasn't real.
But as he aged, it ate away at him, drove. him. crazy. He knew the truth, that it did happen. It was real. And the scars that covered his back proved it. That's what led to his outbursts, how he'd get snippy and snappy with people. He could only keep his emotions buried for so long before they'd start to burst.
And it'd land him in trouble. Snarky mumbles towards a teacher when a test would be returned, and it was straight to detention. Giving someone the wrong look, then responding in the wrong way, and he'd find himself on the ground surrounded by kids a bit older and larger than him, kicking him before spitting at the ground beside him and leaving him there.
He was always more cautious around his dad, knowing he'd be a harsher outcome than any other - but there were still times where his father felt he was 'givin' 'im attitude 'n he needs tah check 'imself', even though Daryl was treading lightly.
Any time his father wasn't beating him, he was always drunk, or smoking. He gave up a long time ago with trying to reason with him, get through. He learned to rely on himself, and solely himself. Daryl would go out alone - and that time he was lost in the forest - and his dad was too engrossed in substances to realize, or care. He himself was all he really had, so he shut everyone else out. At least for a long time.
Come back baby, don’t you cry
Don’t you drain those big blue eyes
I’ve been crawling
Come back baby, don’t you cry
Just you say the reason why
I can calm you
And as the chorus would repeat, it'd be you. Daryl would distance himself, or even disappear. Isolating, shutting away what was left of a nearly nonexistent world.
Now you were the one begging. Going to find him and begging him to come back. For him to let you into his world, let you be there for him. Calm him, be what he needs.
And as you seemed to be metaphorically crawling after him, he finally let you in. Despite how many years had gone by, his eyes were still big, still blue, and glassy again.
Your words and actions would mirror what he pictured his mom doing. Holding him and rocking him, whispering against his head 'Shhh... it's okay, I'm here. Talk to me, angel. What's wrong?'
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tmrwds · 1 year ago
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Translation to 19.07. Eura gig stream under cut (10mins)
Banter starting from 01:40
You guy there, were you going skiiing? You have the glasses on your head, or did i see wrong? You're a good-looking crowd. (girl screaming JEREEE) what do you want? I'll give attention to you too. It's like a fucking kindergarten. Pikku Silja is there like (raises his arms) Are there underage ppl here? Hopefully not. You came with your dad's ID? Did it truly work?
You're wearing a Käärijä shirt, lovely. It's like kindergarteners, "look I have a new Gogo figurine" I don't even know what's a gogo-- Have you been eating sausage? The stall, full of sausage. How much is 3x3, sign it for me. How much is it? That doesn't make sense. I'm not going to become a teacher.
Hey, people on the back. Is there a reason you're over there and not on the front row? The man was like (nods) women. -- What do you have there? Your own [smuggled] drinks? No? Fuck, you drink a lot. Huh? For me? I don't drink. I'm an absolutist. Think about it, I've never touched that. Bess was performing today, right? Let's not tell her, but Bess was like "remember to drink water" no, just drink booze. At Käärijä's gig the rules are different, 2%/per mil at least when you're here. My show is so awful I don't want anyone to remember anything about it. Just kidding.
From 3:52 : I have this super fan here - am I allowed to tell? I will. You're not going to be offended? She has been on some 31 gigs this year. That's fucking sick, I don't understand why. But, she sent us an email, think about it, I have an email too, you don't- she sent that..what was it? That I shouldn't mock myself. Something like that. Think about it, how sympathetic. I'm mocking myself and she's like "don't do that! You're really a good, lovely person" I'm not! But I appreciate it, we talked this over with the band. Because of her, we've been going to therapy.
One thing that's fucking awesome about this place is that the internet isn't working. The guestion is, the TVs probably don't work either, so how the fuck did you watch Eurovision? How? Was there a shared TV? (points on the sky) "Oh, there's Käärijä". Do you guys even have phones?! Nokia 3510i, you look like you have that. Or do you? - You came from Tampere? You should've at least said you're from around here [Eura]. How many of you are from here? You know, one day- (dude shouts Urheilujätkä) Shut the fuck up. -when I have the money, I'll buy everyone who lives here a phone, I'll buy an internet here, some fucking tower right there. On the phone there will be apps, you can watch por-, Käärijä's instagram, it's an app too. -- Okay, let's continue, this thing doesn't make any sense.
Paidaton riehuja starts: How many will take off their shirt? -- (cute bit of the front row girls lol "It's coming off! For real? Yes, you're supposed to take it off! I didn't know that you have to take your shirt off!")
I'll do a little bit different speech because we have the superfan here. And sometimes I was like, I didn't compliment my own body. So do you know what I'll say now? Fuck, I'm in a good shape. Before the eurovision shit, I was like this (sucks belly in), but after eurovision when money started coming in… But the saddest thing is, I've drank all the money and I got nothing but the belly left. But at least I got some memory. Let's go.
After paidaton riehuja: Think about it, for the first time I saw boobs. I won't say if it was a man or woman's boobs, but I saw them anyway. And they were great!
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queen-of-deans-booty · 4 months ago
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There's No Place Like Home: Part One
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~1.9k
Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst
Summary: Charlie is back from Oz but she's not quite how Sam and Dean remember her. You're pretending to be on your best behavior, but you're making it clear that anyone who stands in your way is only going to end up hurt.
Season Ten Masterlist
Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3
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x
"LET ME OUT! I'm gonna kill you two!!" you yell from inside the dungeon.
Sam and Dean are in the library above and even through concrete floors and thick walls, they can still hear you. Not loudly but if it's silent, your words are pretty clear. You've been locked in the dungeon for the past month while they figure out what to do with you. They hear you bang on the walls, slam your body against the door, and yell at the top of your lungs, and Dean figures you'll tire yourself out sooner or later.
"What's going to happen if she manages to get out?" Sam asks.
"She won't."
"If she does?"
"She won't, Sam," Dean sighs.
"Humor me."
"I don't know, okay? I don't know what to do about my soulless wife. I don't know how I'm going to be able to heal her if she continues down this road. I don't know what's going to happen if the Mark wins. Sooner or later, she's gonna..." Dean doesn't even want to finish that sentence. "I don't know, Sam."
"Yeah," Sam whispers.
"This Mark is making her go insane piece by piece and I'm honestly afraid that I'll be too late. That I won't be able to purify her soul in time. That'll be my fault she's dead."
"Come on, you don't really think that, do you?" Dean sends a look to his brother who decides a change of pace is needed. "I liked the omelets you made this morning, and you slept past seven for once."
Dean appreciates what his brother is doing for him and he'll take the distraction even if it'll only work for a few hours.
"Thanks. Until we get answers on this Mark of Cain, I am on a twelve-step program not to backslide."
"Twelve?"
"Yeah. If Cain found a way to live with it after going dark side, then I just gotta find a way to keep it in check. I haven't had a drink in a week, eight hours of sleep every night, and now I'm making omelets."
"That's three steps."
"Shut up," Dean rolls his eyes and grabs his empty plate. "As soon as we get rid of this demonic tramp stamp, I am back on the booze, burgers, and more booze. Tell me you got something."
"I'm working on it," Sam sighs and goes back to researching.
Dean takes his brother's plate and walks it back to the kitchen with his own. Once he's alone, he touches the Mark worriedly. What's going to happen if he can't get to you in time? Will he have it in him to drive a knife through your heart? Would he be able to survive only seeing you in his dreams?
As the hours drag on, Dean and Sam notice it's been quiet in the dungeon. You either tired yourself out or you're planning an escape. Either way, you've shut up.
Dean joins his brother back in the library who has not moved from his spot. Instead of researching the Mark, he's watching something on his laptop that has him concerned.
"What the hell?" Sam mutters and leans in closer to the screen.
"Cain or Crowley?"
"Charlie."
"She's back from Oz? She didn't call?"
"I guess she's been busy. I've been looking into the news and checking for anything weird, right? I found this story about a torture vic. Apparently, some kid videotaped this at his next-door neighbor's house."
Dean watches the video but he's unsure what he's looking at. Though, he can clearly see it's Charlie.
"What are you saying, Charlie tortured someone?" Sam shrugs. "Our Charlie? Wouldn't hurt a Hobbit and practically sparkles?" Dean shakes his head and takes out his phone to call her. Though, she's not picking up. "Come on, Charlie. Pick up."
"The guy she went all psycho on is Peter Harper. He's a district attorney in Topeka. According to this article, he wasn't the only person in town that was hit. A court stenographer was assaulted the night before."
"She's not answering the phone," Dean sighs. "Charlie wouldn't go off on someone without a reason."
"Yeah, I wouldn't think so either, but look at the video."
"Oh, I'm looking at it, but you know what we do, taken out of context, it doesn't look that much different. She could be hunting." Sam sighs and Dean cracks his neck a few times. "Why don't we go talk to this asshat and see what's going on?"
"What about Y/N?"
"She's in time out. I'll have Cas pop in every few hours to make sure she hasn't chewed the doors off the hinges."
Sam leaves to get ready but Dean stays in the library a moment longer. He touches his mark when he starts to feel it burn slightly. You take a break from picking at the wall to look up at the ceiling where you know Dean is currently standing. Your mark is burning which can only mean his is, too.
A smirk grows on your face at the thought of it bringing pain to him.
Dean leans over just as his head starts to hurt, and he sits down so he can ride out this memory he never knows is coming.
God, I hate getting these. Not only am I forced to relive these moments a second time, I have to relive them through Y/N's eyes. There have been times when she's gone through it worse than I have. The things this woman has done for me to protect me are... I have no words for how amazing she is.
That's why seeing her like this brings me so much pain... knowing I can't do anything to help her.
I'm tied to a chair and see myself tied to the pillar Magnus tied me to in his invisible mansion. Magnus opens the glass container containing the Blade, and I wish to God I never took the damn mark.
"Should we fire it up?" Magnus smirks at Dean.
"Go to hell."
"Oh, come on, Dean. This is the object of your quest. Tell me Henry Winchester's grandson isn't curious to see if it works. Give me your hand." Dean doesn't do what he wants, and Magnus grows impatient. He grabs his hand forcefully. "Give me your hand!"
"Get off of him!" I yell.
Magnus forces the blade into Dean's hand, and almost immediately, Dean's mark starts to glow red. I've always known my mark connects me to Y/N but I never knew by how much until this very moment. I knew how that mark felt burning on my arm, but I never knew how much it affected my wife.
The longer Dean holds the blade, the more my own mark starts to burn. The veins on his arm glow the same color as the Mark, and I look down to see the same thing happening on Y/N.
"Stop it! You're hurting him!" I cry out in pain.
Magnus yanks the blade away from Dean so he can use it on me. Mangus walks over to me and shoves the blade into my hand. This unlocks a dark side to her magic that I will never be able to understand.
My entire body goes up in blue flames at the same time I let out a loud scream from the mourning sensation on my collarbone. Why is hers on her collarbone and mine on my arm? I've never understood that. For a split second, and it's gone as quickly as it comes, my body feels an evil presence. It's like the devil you read about in books is right behind me. I'm not sure what that is but it's gone before I can even think about it.
"Dude, you okay?"
Dean is pulled from his own head by Sam who has been tapping on his shoulder for the past minute.
"Yeah."
"Are you sure?"
"Drop it, Sammy," Dean sighs and stalks off to his room to get ready.
After both men are ready, they leave you alone in the Bunker and head to Topeka which is only four hours away from the Bunker. If they have to come back because of you, they could do it quickly. The district attorney agreed to speak to Sam and Dean even though he's terrified since Charlie got away.
"Now, did you notice anything odd before the attack? Any strange smells or weird noises?" Sam asks.
"No, no, nothing. I was just at home here, getting ready for bed, and that crazy bitch jumped me. All she wanted to know was about some case that I worked on years ago--a drunk driver T-boned another car, killing the driver, and the passenger was declared brain-dead on the scene."
"The Middletons," Dean says. He did his research before coming over here. "They had a daughter who was twelve years old. They were on their way to pick her up."
"Yeah, that's right. How did you know?" Peter asks.
"We do our homework at the FBI."
"Then you know the case never went to trial. Before I could even see the evidence, it was off the books. All the files were sealed."
"How is that even possible?" Sam wonders.
"I don't know, but I looked into it this morning. There's no record of that case anywhere and the arresting officer has since passed away. There's nothing, except for this," Peter slides a file across the table to Dean, "the social service file on the Middletons' kid. It's not very helpful, to be honest with you. The kid has disappeared, until now."
"Is there anything else you can remember about the case? Any names you can think of?"
"No, like I told the police, it was a long time ago. I'm sorry."
There's something the man is hiding. If he was the lawyer on the Middleton case and didn't get to see the evidence, Dean doesn't think Charlie would go after him.
"Here's the thing," Sam smiles and walks closer to him, "we talked to the other victim on the way here. You know, the stenographer? She said the attacker didn't let her go until she gave up a name--your name."
"What does that have to do with me being attacked in my own home?" Peter stutters.
"What name did you give up?" Dean asks.
"Look, I told you everything I told the police. This woman comes in here, beats the shit out of me, but there's no name to give up, so I don't know what else to--" Dean shoves Peter's chair back so he is only balancing on the back two legs of the chair. "What are you doing?!"
"Talk, you son of a bitch!"
"Look, I'm the victim here!"
Dean makes a move to drop his chair backward but catches it at the last second.
"Talk!!"
"Okay! Okay!" Dean rights his chair and Peter rubs his hands nervously together. "After the files were sealed, I pushed. They offered me money... a lot of money if I'm to be honest."
"Give me a name," Dean glares.
"I will be disbarred!"
"That'll be the least of your worries, I promise you that."
Peter sighs and sags his shoulders in defeat.
"Councilwoman Barbara Cordry."
Barbra isn't as forthcoming as Peter was. She answered her door but she didn't let Sam and Dean inside her house. Whoever she is afraid of got her locked inside of her own house.
"Barbara Cordry?" Sam asks and knocks. 
The door opens and the brothers can see suitcases packed by her front door. Not only is she scared, she's running.
"Can I help you?"
"Yes. I'm Special Agent Gabriel. This is my partner, Special Agent Collins. May we come in?" Sam asks.
"What's this about?"
"We have some questions about a drunk-driving case from a while back involving the Middleton family."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," she quickly says.
"Ma'am, if we could just—"
"Sorry. I'm still on vacation," she cuts Dean off. "Feel free to schedule an appointment with my assistant. She'll pencil you both in."
She immediately shuts the door and the brothers look at each other while walking away from her house.
"Guilty much?"
"Yeah."
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befuddled-calico-whump · 1 year ago
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feel totally free to ignore this but…….i‘ve been going so insane about Lex and Sarah in the past few days, i‘d love to read a drabble thing about the drunk love confession! even if it’s not canon (yet) and might turn out differently in canon etc. i’m just in dire need of some more Cinderglass 🥺
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next part
cw: alcoholism, self-loathing
It was well into the dark hours of the morning when Alexei passed through the door to the safe house. When wasn't it? He was supposed to be helping, looking for information, bringing back knowledge, helping. And he did, he tried, but at the end of the night when he'd turn to head home, he'd be reeled in by old habits.
Finish the mission, find a bar, forget.
And he could never get drunk enough to chase away everything, but he could dim it down for just a little while. And when he got to his bed, he could pass out and not worry about nightmares.
He was swaying on his feet, but hadn't had enough that he was stumbling through the house. That was as deliberate as he could've made it; he didn't want to bother anyone else just because of his own lack of control. He moved through the living room, towards the stairs, but stopped short when he caught a hint of movement on the couch.
Spyglass. Sarah. She was asleep, half-sitting up, legs tucked into her chest. There was a bottle of water in one hand, unopened.
Fuck. Had he really become that predictable? He didn't want to admit that he had, that he seemed to spend more time drunk than sober these days.
(Lays, ways, prays.)
The curves of Sarah's face seemed more gentle when she was sleeping, her hair loose and messy, dark strands falling in front of closed eyes, soft jawline, soft lips. Something in him twisted, not unpleasantly. Something he couldn't put a finger on, unless it was just another effect of the booze. He wanted to reach down and brush the hair out of her face. He couldn't bring himself to take another step towards her.
How late had she stayed up, waiting for him? She considered him a member of the team now, an ally, and all he did was make things harder for her. He needed to fucking stop. He wasn't sure he could.
"Lex?" Sarah was blinking herself awake, reaching for her glasses. "You're back. I was worried."
(Hurried.) She'd been worried something had gone wrong while he'd been out drinking.
"Sorry," he murmured. He wouldn't make excuses. Even if he tried to, she could probably smell it on him. "I'm sorry."
He couldn't take it when she gave him a soft look, a slight smile.
"I... I can't stop it," he continued. Shut up. Don't make excuses, don't--- "It's a habit. I-I feel like I can't sleep if I don't---"
"Hey, it's okay."
"It's not okay---"
"No, you're right, it isn't. But I'm not mad or anything, okay?"
"You should be."
"Why?"
The feeling twisted in his stomach as she looked up at him, brown eyes made black in the low light. "It's risky, isn't it? Bar right after a mission, someone might see me, follow me, and I didn't used to care, but... But now..."
She patted the couch beside her. "Hey, sit down for a second. Drink some water. If you want, we can talk about it in the morning, but right now you should rest." She yawned. "And so should I."
He was making it worse again. "Sorry."
"Lex..."
He fell onto the couch beside her, not taking his eyes off the floor. He wasn't even that dizzy, just a little fuzzy, but he couldn't look at her right now, not without that stupid feeling that just made him want to either hold her or walk away right now and never see her again. That second one would be easier on her, wouldn't it? Not having to worry about whatever fucked up thing he would do next.
Her hand rested on his shoulder, and Alexei flinched. She removed it in a hurry.
"Sorry. You looked like you were about to run for the door, and... And I mean, if that's what you want, I won't stop you." He could see her look away, her glasses catching the scant light. "But you should know I'll still worry if you do."
"I won't," he said. "And... And it's okay. If you touch me, I mean. It... I don't like it, if it's from anyone else. But from you, it's okay." The words felt jumbled, tangled like string, but he couldn't stop them. It was more than okay, he wanted it. He still couldn't figure out why. She put him at ease, but so did the other rogues. This was different.
"In that case..." Her words came out hesitant, like she was testing the waters. "Is it okay if I give you a hug?" She was looking at him now, a crooked, almost apologetic smile on her face. "Or is that weird? I mean, it's okay if you don't want---"
"Yes."
Her arms were slow to wrap around him, but the touch felt like an electrical pulse spinning into his skin, burrowing right into his chest. Slowly, afraid he'd scare her away, Lex lifted his arms, settling them around her waist, resting his chin on top of her head.
Her hair was so soft, her body warm against his. His heart was pounding and he knew she'd be able to hear it but he couldn't make it stop.
She pulled away too soon. "Okay. Now seriously, get some sleep," she said, her tone jokingly stern. "And that water better be gone by morning." One foot was on the stairs when she turned around. "I mean it, Lex. I do care about what happens to you, you know."
Something fluttered in his chest. It might've been his heart.
"Sarah..." he started as she turned back to the stairs.
"Yes?"
Lex swallowed. "I... I care about what happens to you too."
The soft smile she gave him then hung in his mind long after she'd gone, warding away the bad dreams.
•°•°•
@whumpacabra @enteredin2eternity @kixngiggles @whumpsday @kiichu @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @shywhumpauthor @distinctlywhumpthing , @bloodinkandashes , @fleur-alise , @whumpy-daydreams , @whumpwillow , @honeycollectswhump
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white-poppie · 2 years ago
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Wish you were sober
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Character: Timeskip!Sugawara x Reader Genre: Fluff to Angst to Fluff again (Hurt/comfort) Warnings: alcohol WC: 1.1k+ Writer:@white-poppie
~ Synopsis: "God how I wish what you say is true, but how do I believe you when you are drunk?"
A/n: I am the bartender by the way :/ It's because of me yall are together. You are welcome *cries in single*
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𝟷𝟷 : 𝟷𝟷
Why does a human's heart torment them so? Why do you need a purge to eliminate your unwieldy emotions that blossom out of nowhere?
"You should call someone to pick you up," the bartender scrunched his brows, "it's really late and you've drunk too much."
You pout and fidget in your purse to find your phone, pausing when you remember the actual reason for your state.
Would you much rather be passed out on the cold road than call your co-worker to pick you up? The co-worker for who you had a tsunami of feelings hidden?
You take a deep breath and press the 'call' button.
He picks up after 4 rings. His voice all syrupy and raspy that sends a swarm of butterflies in your belly.
"Hello?"
"You sound shoo hot," you giggle bashfully, swinging your legs as the bartender tries not to snort.
"Y/N are you drunk?" he clears his throat in embarrassment and asks.
"Only a littol bit," you say and he can almost hear the pout in your voice. Quite adorable in all honesty.
A quick shuffling of cloth is heard from the other side, accompanied by the clanking of keys, "where are you right now?"
You hazily look at the bartender and speak, "I am with an old, weird-looking man right now, it's dark here."
The bartender's eyes widen at how wrongly your words could be interpreted.
Suga's movements halt by your words, the heart suddenly beating faster in concern, "Y/N are you okay? What's going on?"
The agitated bartender snatches the phone from your hand despite your protests. The 'no' and 'give it back' made Suga even more anxious than before.
"Hello, kind sir..uh...I am a bartender at 'Heaven's delight bar' and I think your significant other is not in their right mind," he side-eyed you, "for now at least. Please pick them up as soon as possible, I'll message you the location through this number only."
Suga sighs in relief completely ignoring the fact that he called you his 's/o', "Thank you, I'll be there in a few minutes, please take care of them till then."
The grip he had on the steering wheel was chummy, palms so sweaty that the leather of the wheel was coated with precipitation.
He shut the car door like it was a mere piece of plastic, walking into the bar with quick strides. The smell of booze, alcohol and sweat made him dizzy. His eyes crinkling in relief once he noticed you.
The bartender visibly relaxed as he saw him walking towards you.
"Are you their s/o?" he asked.
A visible blush crept onto his face, "Not yet...I mean no!"
He sighed and pointed at you, “take them home, young man.”
Suga fidgeted with his wallet before he was stopped, “they have already payed.”
Koushi bowed in respect, “thank you for taking care of them sir.”
He tapped you gently, “L/N, let’s go.”
You slowly opened your eyes, squinting to adjust to the lighting, “Suga~” you stretched his name, “you look like a snack right now.”
His eyes widened at how…forward you got while drunk, before you uttered any other nonsense, he had you lifted up through you arms.
“There you go,” he said a little strained, “just lean on me.”
You squealed in delight as you leaned. His heart thumped due to the close proximity between the two of you.
“Is it the alcohol or are your eyes always this pretty,” you laughed.
"Its the alchohol," he said, "my eyes are really boring."
With great care he had you sit in the car somehow. Your head lolled towards his side, yet the silly grin that adorned your face shined brighter than any satellite in the dim night sky.
He was petrified like a stone, looking at your face as if you would dissipate if he blinked. You had absolutely no idea of the mark you had on him, he had spent the last few months yearning for you like some parched man seeking chaste pleasures.
"Koushi," you pulled him by his collar, and a small squeak of surprise left his mouth. His hand was planted on the car wall beside you, preventing him to topple over your intoxicated self.
He cleared his throat and moved away, tucked you in with theseatbelt and drove towards your house. The first few minutes of the ride were silent, he didn't say anything but soon his nerves got the best of him and he made a stop.
"So this is why you have been smelling of booze," he questioned,""You know alcohol won't solve your problems""
You chuckled almost soberly and looked at him, "indeed. Its because I cannot handles the problems I am facing now while being sober."
His brows scrunched into one straight line, "what do you mean."
"God, can't you just leave me alone!? This is my burden to carry, not yours!" you shouted angrily.
"Do you expect me to just leave you alone in- in this state? Itt kills me to see you like this!" he shouted back.
"So I've killed you huh?" you joked, "makes sense why you cant *hic* see me."
You grit your teeth and muttered silently, or so the alcohol made you think, "you are the problem."
"What?" he tilted his head in confusion.
You let out a sound that was a mix between a groan and a giggle. You unbuckled your seatbelt and leaned to catch his lips in yours.
Suga was petrified like a stone. While you were snogging his face, it took all the human effort to pull you down and caress you like he dreamt of.
Wrong
Wrong
Wrong
This was so wrong.
He broke from the kiss and looked down, at his jaw. clenched and voice angry, "this wasn't supposed to happen, this wrong, you are drunk-"
His blabbering was cut off by your soft sobs, "'M sorry Kou. I-didn't. Oh god I love you-I am sorry."
Without thinking his arms quickly enveloped you, "Calm down, okay?"
You nodded softly on the crook of his neck. He sighed as he played with your hair, "I can't believe I am about to ask this to a drunk person even though your answer might change if you are sober. But if I don't get a yes now I will never be able to muster the courage."
His voice broke as he spoke, the intense splurge of emotions watering down, "God I have no idea what I am even doing, I am so pathetic."
You pulled away from the hug and cupped his face, "Koushi whether I am drunk or not, my answer stays the same."
"The reason I have been getting drunk is that I crave and think of you so much and we are not even together, it hurts me."
Suga removed your hand from his face and kissed your wrist right above the veins, "I am yours."
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⤷‧₊˚ HAIKYU!! (ハイキュー!!) 
🥀 BYI/DNI ♡⌇ Request Rules 𓏸 🗝️ ₊﹒《 Join my Taglist •
TAGS: @akumicchi, @nanaseishiro, @denkis111, @futuristicallykawaiiturtle, @kristaline2dmensimp, @innerpurple, @sakinotfound, @oikawatoorupdf, , @juanasspirit, @renster05
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agentkaz · 1 year ago
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kloktober day 30: HALLOWEEN!!!
i. might have gone overboard with this one. BUT. ALMOST DONE.
Legend has it that if one dares to trick-or-treat at Mordhaus, they will find themselves greatly rewarded.
With this in mind, two kids made up their minds that this time, it was worth a shot. This time, they'd trick-or-treat at Mordhaus. It was daunting, but dressed as Skwisgaar and Toki, with pillowcases in hand, they made it all the way through the scary Klokateer-filled maze to the door.
Toki opened the door, then closed the door before the kids could even say "trick or treat," then he opened it again. He looked back into the doorway. "Hey guys! Tricks or treats ams here! One of them ams me!"
"Wait, seriously?" Nathan said, poking his head out the door and doing a double-take when he saw the kids standing there. "Holy shit! They are!"
"Aw, look at the little guys," Pickles said. "It's like a mini Skwisgaar and Toki are hangin' out around here."
"What the fuck do you want?" Murderface asked.
"Obviously they ams wantings the tricks or treats," Skwisgaar said, shoving Murderface out of the way. "You know, the special tricks or treats what we provides to the brave childrens on this day?"
"Nobody told me we were supposed to provide anything!" Murderface said.
"Yeah, 'cause you weren't listening when we were coming up with it," Pickles said. "If anyone braves coming up here on Halloween, they get some cool shit. Nobody ever fuckin' does it! Too scary."
"Absolutesly terrifyings," Skwisgaar said.
"That's stupid!" Murderface said.
"You're stupid!" Toki said.
The two kids looked at each other. Was their reward an argument?
"Anyway! Toki ams first!" Toki said, pushing past everyone who'd gotten in front of him. "First! Official replicas deaddy bears! Makes your costumes accurates!" He dropped a couple of plush bears into the kids' pillowcases. Then he reached back and grabbed two giant bags of candy. "And these guys keeps sendin's this stuff to me even if I can'ts eats it anymores! So now it ams yours!" Satisfied, he moved aside.
"Qualities over quantities, Toki," Skwisgaar said, and dropped a small bag into each pillowcase. "Here we haves the finest guitars-shapes candies mades by the finest place what makes guitars-shapes candies ins the whole world, since one of you has goods taste."
When Skwisgaar stepped back, Nathan came forward with a solemn nod and dumped the contents of a full bag of nacho cheesier Doritos into their pillowcases.
Nathan tossed the bag aside and Pickles stepped up, ready to put something into the makeshift bags.
"You can'ts gives them booze, Pickle," Skwisgaar said, grabbing his arm. "They ams little babies."
"I'm not givin' 'em booze," Pickles said, clearly slipping a few small bottles back into his pocket.
"You can't give 'em drugs either," Nathan said, "Even if it would be really, really funny."
"You douchebags are no fuckin' fun," Pickles said. "But don't worry. I got something." He reached over and then reverently placed two packages into the kids' bags. "Rotisserie chicken," he said gravely, then stepped back. "Okay, Murderface, your turn!"
Murderface held his hands out. "What? I didn't get anything!"
"You agreed to it!" Nathan said, pointing at him.
"I did not!"
"Yeah you dids," Toki said. "You saids 'yeah, sures, whatevers' and everybody heards it!"
"Fine," Murderface grumbled. "Nobody fucking move!"
He came stomping back a few minutes later and tossed one knife into each bag.
"Okay, there, don't say I didn't give you anything. If anyone needs me, I'll be in the hot tub."
"Waits, Murderface!" Toki said, waving at him frantically. "We gots to takes the groups photo!"
He handed his phone to a Klokateer and everyone crowded around the confused-looking kids. "Says cheese!" Toki called, and then after a few photos, everyone stepped away and went back inside.
Toki beamed at them. "Okay, bye, thanks for comin's up here!" He waved cheerfully at the kids, then slammed the door shut.
The kids looked at each other, looked into their pillowcases, and turned around. Worth it.
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