#the bois are disasters and also whores

[just-another-mess-in-a-dress]

B/G/3 Snz Head Cannons pt 1 Bois

Writing horn at work because that’s what you do when you’re an adult waiting on emails right??

Snz headcanons for b/g/3 characters let’s gooooooo (in parts because tumblr has decided word count matters rip)

Astarion

Photonic sneezer for sure

Beyond that I think his nose is much more sensitive now than it was when he was alive so being out in the wilds I think made him an absolute sniffly mess for the first few days

After the initial shock of being in the wide open world I think the sensitivity to strong florals sticks with him.

Usually sneezes in doubles but sometimes threes when he’s really irritated

Covers with steepled hands or tries desperately to stifle

Is REALLY bad at stifling

I feel very strongly about this - his voice gets deeper when he sneezes/is congested

Like we know when he’s quiet and genuine his voice gets a bit deeper and less performative

And I imagine he’s shit at changing how his sneezes sound so they’ve gotta be deep in his chest

Typically follows up with a dazed, ‘excuse me’

Expects to be blessed and will be pouty about it if he’s ignored

If vampires could get sick he would make it everyone’s problem

But be lowkey embarrassed about it if a partner was genuinely worried and doting on him

Gale

This man always has a handkerchief on him

Compulsive stifler even before the orb but after the orb it becomes even worse

Ignore his high con score this man gets sick often and it’s always a stuffy head cold situation

Does that thing where he keeps his handkerchief balled up under his nose while he reads/writes to keep it from dribbling.

Is an expert at covering sneezes but on the off chance he didn’t feel one coming he gets super flustered about it

King of the stuck sneeze and he’s mostly okay with that - if it doesn’t come out he can’t blow up lol

Once he’s cured of the orb the first time he catches a cold it’s the sneeziest cold he’s ever had and he lowkey forgets that he can sneeze freely until his partner or a well meaning friend gently points it out (or points it out like an asshole if you’re like that or Astarion lol)

His natural sneezes are loud and always comes in fits, like never one or two

Apologizes every single time

Cannot hold a conversation in the midst of a fit but will try

Doesn’t really have allergies but will occasionally get stuffy voice if he spends too long in the archives

Halsin

This man has never covered a sneeze in his goddamn life okay?

Will blow his nose into his hand if he’s out in the woods and will flick the mess onto the ground before wiping his hand on his thigh

Loud sneezes but not quite atomic bomb levels of loud

Almost always at least a little bit of visible spray

Gets really bad itchy fall allergies every year and knows exactly which genus of plant causes it (will weaponize this fact for a partner who has the kink)

Sneezes mainly in singles but when it’s allergies it’s always doubles

Doesn’t expect blessings but will gladly take them

Usually directs the blast down or away from others if they’re around

Openly acknowledges that he likes sneezing ‘It’s a natural process and it feels quite nice I think’

Being a healer means he’s aware of contagion and how it works but doesn’t think much of his own sneezes until it’s too late

Yes he’s built like a brickhouse and yes he does work himself too damn hard - he also loves being taken care of by a partner

Has been known to induce unprompted because he ‘just wants to hurry things along’ whore

Wyll

Baby boy has the most expressive nose in existence

He always describes sneezes as tickly or buzzy when he’s congested

Comments on his sneezes all the time

Hitchy and gasping breaths into every sneeze

King of build ups, cannot have a sneeze without at least five seconds of warning

Covers every single time but can never find his hanky so it’s usually hands or elbow

Will ask to borrow your handkerchief and will give it right back after decimating it with a blow

Tries to stifle but is really bad at it and it just makes him sneeze more

Sneezes in threes and fours but occasionally sneezes only once

Dust and pollen sensitivity

Every cold starts in his chest but settles in his nose for weeks after

Will breathily remind you he’s not contagious as a sneeze rips through him.

Can be loud or soft but are always drawn out

Doesn’t want to admit he loves being taken care of but it does melt him on the inside

Gets really teary when he sneezes and will make jokes about it to deflect his embarrassment

Very aware of germs and contagion but still manages to catch every bug that goes through his friend groups

Gets disappointed if he’s not blessed after a sneeze

[valentine-cafe]

˖⁺. “ don't want you in my bloodline ! ” : 

﹙ friends w benefits : m. monsters x male & fem reader ﹚.𖹭 ݁

. . . various male monsters x fem & male reader !! 🍒 : ﹙ grim reaper characters ˖ mercenary characters ˖ boss character ﹚

various scenarios with different monster characters and having a friends with benefits relationship with them

﹙ cws ﹚: explicit content ˖ penetrative sex ˖ rough sex ˖ friends with benefits ˖ nipple play ˖ rough sex ˖ creampie ˖ public spaces ˖ angry sex ˖ pussy slapping ˖ handjob ˖ multiple orgasms  | wc : 1.0k 

﹙ receipts ﹚: need to do a part 2 to this because if there is one thing I love it's friends with benefits ugh

꒰  other treats : guidelines ˖ m.list ˖ characters ˖ our lore  ꒱

﹙hàoyǔ 9948e. ﹚. . . round-the-clocker !! 🍓 : male reader . you should have known the first week of this arrangement that you’d take more dick than calories. hàoyǔ needs his fix. he’s absolutely insatiable. wherever it be calling you up late in the night to have you riding him in his living room. appearing at your work place to fuck you full in the janitor’s closet. jerking you off in a quiet alleyway when you both bump into each other at the city.

you don’t understand. he needs to feel your tight walls around his cock. needs to hold you close and fuck you wild until you’re coming all over. you never deny him any way - ever the loyal slut.

“taking it so well. . . fuck - like you were made for it huh?” a spank to your thigh. he positions your leg over his shoulder further and snaps his hips against yours rapidly. eyes focused on the way that your tight little hole takes him again and again. how it squelches and begs him to stay. but he simply has to withdraw so that he can pound you senseless.

he’s addicted to your cum. so of course he has to jerk you off until you’re whining and bucking despite getting your ass absolutely wrecked.

“pretty boy. pretty slutty boy. only good for taking cock.” he grunts to your ear. ramming into you without mercy. if it means he can see you limp into the library later.

꒰ grim reaper character  ꒱

﹙hǎitāo 209. ﹚. . . anger management !! 🍒 : fem reader . being possessed by a demon and constantly fighting off thoughts of violence while also fighting each and every day in the rebellion really pents up your anger. . . but lucky him, he has you!

your pretty cunt is just the perfect thing for his aggressive thrusts. his harsh words muttered to your ear as he yanks you around. manhandles you. calls you a stupid little whore as he fucks you in the back of one the rebellion’s undercover vehicles.

he’s always made sure to ask if you are alright after. take the utmost care of you. as though you were glass. he always makes sure that you are alright with his roughness. and oh, his sweet angel is what you are.

you don’t mind when he shows up in the middle of the night. shoves your knees to your shoulders and stretch you out on his cock. fuck you so hard that the headboard slams against the wall again and again. muttering things like -

“fuckin’ mission was a disaster. no one fucking listens. not like this sloppy cunt huh?” he pulls out - if only to deliver your throbbing pussy a spank. rub at your clit in apology and kiss you messily again before he goes back to pounding you senseless.

you’ll be all alone in the morning. but that’s fine. you’ll be riding his cock come evening.

꒰ grim reaper ˖ mercenary character ꒱

﹙rishen 1311. ﹚. . . stress reliever !! 🍓 : male reader . the admiral of aegis has quite the questionable methods of stress relief. but he finds that having you on your knees with his cock fucking your throat is ample times better than any whiskey.

you’ve been a worker in his institution for a few years. you’d caught his eye - and now every other day you’re either bent over his desk and getting a good fingering or fucking — or riding his cock like a desperate little thing whilst he tends to his paperwork.

just the feeling of your tight walls wrapped around the base of his cock takes away all the frustration. all of the tension of the week. it doesn’t make it any better that you’re always so willing. always coming around to check in on him.

it’s as though you want his hand down your pants. jerking you off while he shoves you into the glass wall of his office. have you overlook the city and bounce your ass back on his cock. fuck yourself on him because he’s just so tired from work.

“fuck, querido.” the rough grumble in his throat rumbles into your ear. he eases more inches up your tight hole. grabbing onto your hips to halt your frankly pathetic movements before slamming up in tempered. pistoning movements. slow. rough.

all while he smokes his cigarette. balms the bitter taste with the sweetness of your neck and shoulders. he’s just gotta fill you up a few times to feel better.

꒰ boss ˖ spy ˖ femme fatale ˖ assassin character ꒱

﹙ xīyáng 9819. ﹚. . . midnight menace !! 🍒 : fem reader . he’s got quite the obscure schedule. more than most. initially you weren’t too sure how this arrangement would work - but you quickly caught on. the first few times he called you in the middle of the morning. voice heavy with restlessness. telling you to just touch yourself a bit for him. maybe your pretty moans will do better than coffee.

to the nights where he’ll call you up. tell you he’s on his way. before he’s burying his cock between your legs the second he gets in and the door shuts.

loves picking you up. manhandling you. pressing you down into whatever surface he can find and pounding your poor cunt raw.

he’s never there. yet always there at the same time. always touching. always groping. always using you as his pretty little relief. if you aren’t bouncing on his cock at least once a week. even if it’s in the middle of midnight - well, he simply feels as though his week has not been fulfilled then.

after missions is when he’s at his roughest. shoving you face down into the bed and pounding you ass sore. balls aggressively slapping against your weeping pussy. the clock blaring 3am the indicator of your rude awakening.

“always ready to take it - aren’t you sweetheart?” he grunts. fingers tightening on your scalp. he’ll reach around and play with your clit to make you cum. the feel of you cumming around him will be just the pick-me-up he needs.

꒰ mercenary boss ˖ grim reaper character ꒱

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[mikeluciraphgabe]

This disaster lineage is so silly when you break it down

A goblin who Fucks and runs this bitch before going completely off the rails and moving to the middle of nowhere

^ that one’s son padawan who decided that his dad master’s rules we’re stupid - left - and became a wine aunt who is deranged but in a lowkey way

^ that one’s son padawan turned pothead that takes his own son padawan out to fight for ‘enrichment’

^ his dad master traumatized him and made him a whore, slut, booty call if you will as a result

Anakin

Anakin’s first daughter padawan who is a sweetheart - never done anything wrong ever and will stare at her enemies in the eyes before doing the most unnecessary and unexpected move

The ‘last’ Jedi who doesn’t even know how to do the most basic move with a saber - meditates while doing a handstand AND is a Twink (oh and Anakin’s illegal bio-son)

^ that one’s twin sister who is lowkey the most chill but is also Unhinged (don’t take the calm exterior seriously - she’s fucking crazy) (Anakin’s illegal bio-daughter)

The twink’s first ever padawan who is his great-great-great-great grandfather master’s bio-son but then decides that ‘nah this ain’t me fr’ and goes to live with a mandolorian for a couple of years

Boy who is going through a phase evil but falls in love with Anakin’s groomer’s granddaughter and acts like he doesn’t care for her when he Very Much Does (Anakin’s illegal bio-daughter’s son)

[smuttysabina]

Yeji's Lesson on Gangbangs

(Yeji & Itzy, 1700 words) Gangbangs, multiple penetration, cumplay, derogatory language

It is no easy thing, to bear the mantle of a leader, to be responsible for the performance of those who follow you. The role grows ever more complex as you realize Yeji's situation; she not only must control and channel the most energetic group of their generation in idol work, but also in sex. Even the most chaotic and depraved fan orgy requires constant attention to prevent it from spiraling into utter failure. One would think that it would be difficult for a gangbang to end in disaster, but then you clearly had not been around idols much. Strong personalities tend to form... exotic tastes, that when left unchecked can result in bizarre and incomprehensible circumstances. They're still not entirely sure how Nayeon managed to get a National Cherry Popping Day put on the calendar, but saner minds have chosen to simply gloss over that incident. So Yeji exerts herself mightily in curtailing the sluts under her supervision, while also putting in as much effort in fucking her fans into unconsciousness. Nobody said being a leader didnt have its perks...

The Itzy fan gangbang is in full swing, and Yeji is its dynamic centerpiece. She sets a fierce pace, in sex as she does in dance, energetically fucking her fans until they are drained beyond use. It doesn't matter if she is on top or getting sandwiched by fans, Yeji is always the driving force behind the coupling. All of this domination is purely automatic, her body acting on sheer instinct, allowing her turn her attentions towards her charges...

Nearest to Yeji is Yuna, who mirrors her senior in enthusiasm, but not in demeanor. Instead of Yeji's natural confidence, Yuna possesses a frantic neediness that frequently devolves into desperate nymphomania. Far too often Yuna is simply unable to accept that her lovers are unable to continue fucking her greedy holes, becoming frenzied at this denial. Her shrill demands are often accompanied by inelegant "encouragement"; which is hardly helpful considering her fans are fully drained at that point. So to avoid any... unpleasantries, Yeji is often there to add a helping hand. Be it slamming Yuna's howling mouth onto a nearby cock, shoving her own fist into Yuna's palpitating cunt, or even simply kissing her; anything to allow the offending fan to flee. Then the next fan takes their place, and Yuna is back to being a panting cock-sleeve again. Of course, the more cocks that are in Yuna, the harder it is for her notice that one of them is no longer doing its job; so her getting double and even triple penetrated is the norm.

Worse than her physical neediness though, is Yuna's depthless desire for emotional attention. Whoever is her focus at the time immediately becomes the target of a fathomless crush, the sole provider of love and emotional care. And of course, when her crush inevitably begins to flag, its not due to physical failings, its because they don't love her any more. If they truly loved her, they would be able to fuck her all night long, so that means they were lying this whole time! The shock of said betrayal only adds on to Yuna's physical disappointment, creating a toxic brew of emotions that adds a particular serration to her exhortations. So not only are her lovers' bodies at risk, but their mental health as well! Which makes one wonder why she's so popular, until you remember that boys absolutely adore sticking their dick into crazy. And rarely has their been a more attractive mixture of crazy than in Yuna.

In complete contrast with the needy, high-maintenance Yuna, Lia can usually be left to fend for herself. Unlike the former, who requires constant supervision to make sure she doesn't go off the rails, the latter can be trusted to not do anything too insane. So Yeji cheerfully lets Lia do her thing, which mostly boils down to ranting about what enormous whores the rest of Itzy are. While she is not in fact wrong, her argument is somewhat undermined (some might even say, reinforced) by the fact that Lia herself is often engaged in the same exact behavior as the others. So while she gnashes her teeth and rages at the other girls fucking their fans so publicly, she is busy getting double penetrated by her own fans; rather openly in fact. Lia's ability to fuck her way through her fans is directly tied to her indignation; so the harder she raves about how damn good Itzy are at fucking their fans dry, the faster her own fans empty themselves inside of her. Her unintentional dirty talking seems to drive her lovers over the edge, hearing a girl talk about such naughty things is a strong incentive to breed her. So the trick, is keeping her absolutely dripping in righteous fury, something that is more than easy to do considering the lustful and exotic methods Itzy uses to drain their' fans' balls. Thus Yeji rarely has to put much work in other than throwing the occasional teasingly lewd glance at Lia, or fucking some poor soul in a particularly extravagant way. Failing that, Yeji has found it best to simply walk over, and force-feed Lia the enormous quantity of cum stored in her greedy cunt. Making Lia chug liters of turgid jizz always flicks her switch, making her practically frothing with outrage; allowing Yeji return her attentions to the more demanding members under her control.

Speaking of attention, Ryujin is one who requires a great deal of it, as much as she might profess to hate it. Usually found skulking around the edges of any Itzy orgy, she happily helps out those too shy to join in the main event. Which would be fine, except for the fact that the shy boys are usually snapped up by everyone else, Lia especially enjoys the sweet treat of salaciously welcoming innocent cherry boys into manhood. So Ryujin is also left to deal with all the perverts as well, which can lead to some truly bizarre situations occurring on the outskirts of the main area. Even a hardened hedonist like Yeji was bemused by the sight of Ryujin having a line of fans jerk off onto her sweaty armpits, and then making them snort their jizz off of said armpits. But such spectacles are relatively rare, more commonly Yeji looks over to find Ryujin furiously fingering herself to the sight of the other girls getting fucked. Which isnt a bad thing, there are many fans who enjoy fapping onto her while she ignores them, but it does mean she is not milking as many dicks as she could be. So Yeji has to drag the whining voyeur onto center stage, making her the center of attention, which Ryujin loudly proclaims she hates, then letting loose the fans on her. Ryujin does her best to wail about how horrible it is that everyone can see what a lewd slut she is; but the fact that she is generally painting the floor with squirt within minutes shows that to be lie. This pervert should just be honest with herself, it would certainly make Yeji's life so much easier...

Chaeryeong by far requires the most delicate touch out of all of Yeji's girls. Although she is a sexual virtuoso in the prime of her life, all idols are by training, she is still quite furtive in her love-making. The traumas of her early career have left their scars, and Chaery much prefers the privacy of intimate sex. And Yeji is content to indulge her in this, allowing her precious Chaery to receive only the most considerate of lovers. Chaery exults in receiving their love and praise, her fans' adoring attentions giving her a little more confidence with every romantic coupling. Which is not to say she is not amenable to having more than one partner at once, just that she needs to work herself up to it. When she is feeling especially amorous, Chaery sometimes even allows herself to have all of her holes filled at once; a normal occurrence for the other sluts, but for her it is special. Of course for such a cuddly atmosphere to persist, Yeji has to take great pains in screening those she allows to enter Chaery's pillowed domain. Any perverts or hardcore enthusiasts are diverted to more... appropriate lovers; Yuna is a particularly favorite girl to leave them with. Since once you are within Yuna's grasp, it is difficult to leave without getting utterly drained in both spirit and semen. So Chaery's foibles are tolerated, for now at least, as Yeji keeps a close eye on her most delicate of flowers.

But the girl who truly requires the most strenuous watching and control by Yeji, is herself. It would be oh so easy for her to simply give in. To stop restraining herself, to let her primal lusts run wild, to fuck and fuck until her holes are raw and bruised and gullet is swollen with seed. To treat her loving fans like so much disposable fuck-meat, to abuse them until they break and she casts them aside like so much trash. To force the others members of Itzy into becoming little more than her worthless cunt-slaves, worthy only of licking her blown-out holes clean; to make them become little more than fluffers for their almighty bitch-queen. To become matriarch of a wasteland of ruined fans, as the Itzy idol group collapses into little more than a depraved sex cult focused solely upon one thing and one thing only; Yeji's pleasure.

But that does not happen. Yeji holds it in, draining away her monolithic sex drive a little at a time to keep her composure. After all, a leader has responsibilities, and the most important of those is keeping herself in check. Without a beacon of maturity, Itzy would degenerate into a spiral of selfish lusts and pleasures, unsuitable for the stage. Yeji does though, on occasion, privately, discretely, allow herself to let loose. And then the screams of her fans as she hunts and ravishes them are a salve to the crushing pressures of restraining herself. Perhaps Yeji does go a touch too far when indulging her monstrous sexual appetites; though as they say, being the leader does have it perks...

[heavensickness]

Completely random things about Disco Elysium characters that I think about

Klaasje isn't Garte's type and he is probably the only one immune to her charm (she even manages to fool Kim)

Garte never takes a step back and even yells at the Hardie Boys and mercenaries. He doesn't give a shit if he dies.

Cunoesse sleeps outside at night

Cuno used to do his homework so he is not 100% illiterate

Cuno is locked out of his house by his father (his father keeps his key) so Harry breaking into their apartment might be the only way he could get in again

Smoker in the balcony says that Harry looks like he does belong in the Homosexual Underground. He even flirts a little

Egghead dresses like a boideiro

Measurehead can't get hard for his babe which he uses some of his racist bullshit to explain

You can touch the hanged man's penis for some reason and electrochemistry even urges you to

Kim intervenes when Harry is talking to Paledriver or Joyce only out of concern for him

When Harry sees Judit he immediately remembers her as the horse faced woman because that was probably what he used to call her before his amnesia, at least in his head

Similarly, Jean uses the words middle-class, bangable and fuckable while describing Dora in a deadpan tone even though he never met her because that was probably what Harry exactly said about Dora while he was drunk. The drunks in the fishing village also confirm that Harry said a "whore" fucked him over.

Endurance and physical instrument holds Harry's repressed toxic masculinity and possible misogyny, although you can become a feminist or grow out of those thoughts throughout the game. If you don't, they will repeat thoughts about how women are whores and they are all crazy.

Both in Harry's first dream and last dream, his subconscious focuses on Dora's sexual aspects: Warmth of her mouth, between her thighs, wearing a white gown that shows her figure etc.

Kim will still like your karaoke performance even if it was a disaster and he will even defend your performance against Jean

Jules Pideu will try to encourage you if you tell him you can't do this anymore

What Judit feels for Harry is just pity

If you make a "joke" to Cuno about Kim dressing in drag Kim will think something like "YOU are the one who looks like a hooker in those promiscuous clothes"

Jean will also tell you that you look like you have 20 STDs if you are wearing something "promiscuous"

Trant used to be a drug addict and so he understands why Harry can't just quit drinking

Ruby does not actually want to hurt Harry and Kim. She even decreases the intensity of pale emitter because she feels bad for them

Evrart will say "you are NOT an ultraliberal Harry, get the fuck out of here" if Harry says that he is an ultraliberal

Kim will yell "are you stupid??" so loud that Harry will lose a health point if he says that he is a fascist

Andre is "not twenty" and he is already balding

"Pigs" lady used to take care of the Hardie boys when they were kids

Titus says "some Hardie boys are queerer than others and that's okay", looking at Glen

Glen is probably gay but he is the one who reacts the most when Harry says that Ruby likes girls

You can give the working class woman a hug

Harry can ask Joyce if she wants to fuck but she will evade it immediately, saving both of them from embarrasment

If Harry goes on a date with Lilienne, one of his skills will say that this is as far as he could go in his current state & he should be sober for more than a year for something more. Which indicates that if Harry did not keep drinking/he has recovered, he could actually pursue Lilienne and they could be something more

Kim knows that wearing anal beads in public would not make a sound

[slamminslamminmcgill]

umm sorry if this is bad or too much but could you maybe write something lalo x reader where the reader is ignoring lalo's texts, maybe for work reasons or something, and lalo. uhm. breaks into their house and noncons them to remind them who's in charge <3

yes anon glory to the salamanca cartel

had this freezer burned shit in my drafts and im digging it up for turno nocturno. just when i think im out this crazy bitch pulls me back in 😔

warning: noncon, physical/emotional abuse, gunplay, face slapping, oral

"Talk."

Lalo demanded, as if you had something to confess to. Like there was a reason for him to break through your bedroom window, straddle your chest, and point a glock at your face. To any normal person, that sort of behavior is never justified, but to Lalo, it’s a natural consequence of what happened. What you did to him. Your blatant act of disrespect.

“Tried calling you today. Three times. They all went straight to voicemail.” Lalo explained, venom dripping from his voice, his thick thighs around your ribcage, his body weight pinning you to your bed. You weren’t sure which was more intimidating, the steel barrel tapping against your forehead, or the one tucked away in his jeans, beating against your sternum, also aimed directly at you. “Why’s that?”

“Wh-Wha…?” You sniffled, “Wh… When did you call me—ow!”

Lalo answered your question by pistol whipping you across the face. He left your ears ringing, your cheeks stinging, and with most likely a black eye come tomorrow morning.

“No, no, no. You don’t get to ask questions, puto (whore). Not until you answer mine. What the hell was so important that you had to turn your phone off?”

Your adrenaline-chugging mind raced to answer him. When could he have called you? No idea. Why didn’t you hear it? The hell if you knew. What did you even do today? Uh… All these searches coming up blank. Turns out you can’t think too well with a gun in your face. A few more seconds of agonizing confusion, and then it came to you. Oh, that’s right.

“I… I went *sniff* to see… *sniff* a… *sniff* m-movie with my *sniff* f-friend… *sniff* Jesse…” You sobbed, struggling to breathe through the tears and the pressure on your chest. What a shame. You and Jesse actually had a great day together, hotboxing his car and cackling in the back row of the theater, but that joy was the furthest thing from your mind right now. This was quickly turning into the worst night of your life.

Lalo lowered the gun. “That’s it?” He reached out to cup your jaw, his thumb swiping away your tears. “You promise?”

You nodded.

Lalo seemed content with that answer. He shook his head, then sighed in disappointment, “Ay, chico tonto… (silly boy). What am I gonna do with you?” He placed the gun on your nightstand. “Next time? You text me if you gotta turn your phone off. And you text me when it’s back on. Okay?”

“Okay…” you mumbled.

“Good boy!” Lalo smiled, ruffling your hair as a gesture of good will. A sign that he still loved you, in his own sadistic, psychotic way.

“But we gotta make sure this doesn’t happen again, yeah? Gotta keep you in line, pretty boy.”

While distracting you with headpats, his other hand went to his belt, tugging it off and tossing it on the floor.

“Luckily, today wasn’t anything serious. But what if I really needed you? And you’d just gone missing? Sheesh. Could’ve been a disaster for you, kid.”

He unzipped his pants and fished out his cock. Menacing in size, the physical manifestation of his rage and power over you, mere inches from your face.

“But don’t worry.”

The gentle stroking of your hair suddenly turned into knots clenched in his fist.

“I forgive you.”

And before you could protest, he shoved your face forward, and the barrel went down your throat, gagging you, keeping you quiet. A silencer.

“Suck.”

[kittycatcaptive]

death note AU where light realizes he's too perfect and innocent seeming and is like “what do teenage boys like that they would hide doing from their parents??? sex??? drugs??? Parties???” and takes the hardest right-hand turn in history because he has no idea what normal teenage boys do. like bro is attempting to maintaining his perfect image during the day, going to parties and being a whore and also maintaining his Kira killings and it's just a disaster. just light, hungover af and coming down off molly or something trying to write names in his death note without puking all over it and just feeling absolute dread at the fact his alarm to get ready for his uni classes is gonna go of in 30 minutes.

[ego-meliorem-esse]

(This is rebelsandtherest on main) I adore all your art, especially of the disaster family tree. After noticing some of the facial resemblance between your Arthur and Alfred, and also Alfred and Matt, it got me wondering—most people would probably be able to tell that both Matt and Al were raised by Arthur just because of…. How they are, emotionally and mentally 😂 but does anyone point out to Alfred that he looks like his dad, or does it come as a surprise that they’re related? Likewise, do people assume Matt is his bio son, or do they look so different people have wondered about it?

Ohohohoho your question tickled me in the best way poasible! I love the theme of resemblence and biological relations with these bastards!

I guess the best way to describe weather Alfred looks like his dad or not would be by saying that many people meeting Alfred and his disaster dad tease him by saying he "picked out" all the good/attractive features od his dad. Like he undeniably looks like his dad but there is something unique on him. For instance his skin is darker but still he has Arthurs unmistakable freckles. Alfred has features that, when looked closely are uniquely his, but when you are looking at him in photographs, you could assume youre looking at a tall, well-feed, broader and tanner Arthur. They are definutely father and son looks-wise, but if you had to pick out who is more good looking, its Alfred by a long shot.

In my hc, they are biological father and son since I love the notion of nations being born like humans (to other humans or to nations it doesnt really matter, their dna is a match) and having that distinctly human nature to them while absolutely not being human. So, in that aspect they are (unfortunately for Alfred) biologically related. Whereas Matthew and Arthur are not. I also love that aspect. I love the notion that this rat man adopted a french whore child and at first had no interest, no love and no care for this boy. But, as time goes by and as Matt sheds blood, sweat and tears to fit into the mold of the "Anglo child", Arthur accepts him, be it after an unfair amount of time and effort. By the 21st century Matt is Arthurs confidante, his no. 1 emergency call, his oldest son.

Its unfair that Matt spent less time with Francis and he is still considered his son by the old world, but had to spend considerably more time under Arthurs "care" to even be considered the mans bastard.

Matt and Alfred arent twins to me. They look alike in the sense that they share a second parent, but you can definitely see the resemblence as well as differences. They are not interchangeable looks-wise, no mistaling Matt for his yank bro in this household.

[writing-for-marvel]

These are all the fics l've read in February. Please go show all these amazing writers some much deserved love! Also please remember to read the warnings for each individual fic

🔥 - smut | 💗 - fluff l 💧 - angst | 😈 - dark

Dividers by @saradika

Bucky Barnes

💗💧 My Little Love (series) by @crazyunsexycool

💧😈 Blackheart by @onceuponastory

💧 Fatal Mistake by @rookthorne

💗 A Shot Worth Taking by @/rookthorne

🔥 Tension by @bucky-barnes-diaries

💧 Don’t Wanna Leave by @foreverindreamlandd

💗 Curly Colors by @sunnylands-world

💗 When Reader Is Sick by @nyx22-blogs

🔥💗 Endorsement by @bi-disaster-yn

💗 poppies and babies’ breath by @lizzie-is-here

💧💗 Details by @soulgazingwithbucky

😈🔥 Into You by @flordeamatista

💗🔥 Forever In Your Eyes by @/flordeamatista

💧💗 It Was Always You by @ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused

💗 a million summers by @intrepidacious

🔥💗 Teasing Temptation by @jobean12-blog

💗 Hooked on a Feeling by @/jobean12-blog

💧 Carousel of Life by @mrsmischief209

💗🔥 just let me make you feel better by @marvelouslizzie

💧💗 Until His Last Breath by @witchywithwhiskey

💗 20 Seconds by @mindingmyownbusiness

Steve Rogers

🔥💗 Fire Burning from a Cedar Tree by @buckets-and-trees

🔥 Tit for Tat by @tuiccim

💗 Only You by @/flordeamatista

💗 reinvent the wheel by @rodrikstark

😈🔥 Heat Inducing by @navybrat817

💗🔥 Jealous by @violette-hue

💗 Just Desserts by @beccaanne814

💗 Jealous by @tikus-library

💧 Giving Up by @nekoannie-chan

💗🔥 Full Moon Soul by @sweater-daddiesdumbdork

Sam Wilson

🔥 Sex Pollen by @late-to-the-party-81

💗🔥 Mission kind of Accomplished by @lazypeachsoul

🔥 Bad Days and Good Head by @tom-whore-dleston

🔥 Phone Sex by @flightlessangelwings

💗 to be cared for by @starryevermore

💗 Stitched by @ichorai

🔥 Roommates by @fluffyprettykitty

💧💗 you know me better than that by @fandoms-writings

💗 I’ve never seen you smile like that before by @/rodrikstark

💗 dad!sam by @/rodrikstark

Joaquin Torres

💗 Careful by @asgardwinter

💗 Night Changes by @happypopcornprincess

💗 First Date by @kyleraynermybeloved

Augustus Pugliese

💗 Power Nap by @/rodrikstark

💗 First Date by @/rodrikstark

Jentorra

💗 Trust by @/soulgazingwithbucky

Kang

💧💗 Love Don’t Come Easy by @jonathan--majors

💗 Concomitant by @inklore

Ari Levinson

💧💗 Shallow(s) by @/late-to-the-party-81

🔥 Big Boy: Study Break by @onsunnyside

😈💧💗🔥 Say My Name by @lunarbuck

🔥 Gentle Hands on my Man by @shotgunbunny

💗 The Small Town Bar by @secretswiftymarvelfan

💗 Winner Takes It All by @/secretswiftymarvelfan

Ransom Drysdale

😈🔥 A Little Help by @royalsweetteaa

🔥 Power Play by @justagirlinafandomworld

[rebecca-lotto]

in which i write about the corrie boys

when paired up with the extremely over-caffeinated , overworked & underpaid bunch of college students that is the corrie boys , anakin -human disaster , and senator amidala's husband + sugar baby'- skywalker looks like he has shit together. like obi-wan without the whore energy

if R2 had a credit for every time he's seen anakin force-scruff Fox, he'd haven enough cash to afford obi-wan's therapy bills.

there's a betting pool on what palpatine will do that'll cause fox to snap & kill him .

the highest odds are on 'makes a shiny cry in front of fox' and " drinks fox's venti espresso by mistake"

and anakin would finally start picking up Mando'a by hanging otu with these red menaces (affectionate)

also the corrie boys def made the star wars equivalent to death wish coffee.

although the corrie boys' version has at least twice as much caffeine compared to our world's version of it.

the corrie boys are definitely regulars at the local starbucks.

fox has most certainly spooked quite a few baristas by asking how much is it to fill a venti cup with nothing but espresso.

[bcbdrums]

unpopular head cannons?

Not sure which fandom you're asking for... I'll hit my main two right now, lol. And I don't know if they're actually unpopular or just...unique to me. So anyway...

Kim Possible

Drakken and Shego do in fact get married and want/have kids and get very domestic, post-canon. But. They remain in evil. They're just more lowkey about it.

Ron and Kim go to different colleges and break up for awhile. Ron starts seeing Yori seriously. Ultimately he realizes that yes, Kim IS the one for him, but he had to spend some time finding who he is without her to be his best self for her.

Ron also easily masters the monkey powers and they're not some big angsty problem for him. It's KP, come on. This is a lighthearted comedy cartoon.

Soul Eater

Stein is NOT some cannibalistic kinky blood-play neuro-divergent. He has some serious issues that never got addressed properly during his childhood, and so he struggles his entire life having to deal with these issues without any proper guidance. (Because burdening another child, Spirit, with that responsibility was a bad idea and sure as heck didn't work.) So he has his serious ups and downs since he has to figure everything out for himself, ultimately. But the common fandom treatments I often see of him just don't jive with what I see onscreen/on the page.

Stein didn't experiment on Spirit in the way it's implied. I think Kami convinced Spirit that worse things were going on than actually were out of jealousy, and I also think Spirit knew about the minor things that did go on. I think Spirit's comments to Blair about the experiments were drunken gross exaggerations, and he canonically does that (manga) soooooooo yeah. Lord Death simply wouldn't have kept Stein around if he was truly a threat, so the experiments couldn't have been that much. And I have plenty of ideas about just what went on...

Spirit did NOT sleep around!!! Now, hear me out. And I'll keep it brief cuz I could go ON about this! The man is a celebrity, and he is THE death scythe. He's gonna have adoring fans all over him no matter where he goes. Also, dancing with people??? Is a normal social interaction??? Since when does someone only dance with their spouse at a public gathering. The ONLY evidence we have of him "cheating" is the point of view of a five year old watching her celebrity dad interacting with people, when her mother isn't there. (Seriously...if Maka's fave memory of her mother is the divorce...where WAS the woman for her entire childhood???) And okay so moving past Maka's perspective and the fact that THE death scythe is gonna be surrounded by fans at all times (and you SoMa people y'all have the same headcanons about Soul so I know this isn't outside the realms of possibility) when we see Spirit in potentially compromising situations? What happens? His wife merely gets mentioned and he turns into a blubbering emotional disaster. You're telling me this man could have actually followed through on sleeping with another woman? In any case... His wife was simply not around, they had a loveless marriage that only occurred cuz of an illegitimate baby, and if he did seek attention elsewhere it's hard to blame him. But no, mister cries-at-the-mention-of-his-ex absolutely did not have it in him to sleep around. He's just a celeb trapped in a loveless marriage, and he's an attention whore. And yes this was me being brief.

Gonna stop there, ask again if you want more cuz boy do I have more! Thank you so much for the ask!!!

[diamxndjules]

welcome! i’m julian

you may also call me jules :>

this is an 18+ blog, MINORS DNI!

my menu || tip me

about me:

22

he/they pronouns ONLY

transmasc, queer, nblm/nblnb, polyam (in a closed relationship!)

sub leaning switch but i may surprise you sometimes

i like being called: pretty boy, bitch(boy), (boy)toy, hole, slut, fag, whore, puppy, mutt,

do not call me: pretty (specific parts of my body are fine but do not call *me* pretty), beautiful/gorgeous (same rule as ‘pretty’ applies),

neurodivergent, chronic pain and disabled

420 friendly zone

engaged🔐 to the loveliest partner❤️🤍

i like making new friends but am very shy and i have trouble keeping up with one-to-one conversations (my notifs are always a disaster cause i let them rack up)

i enjoy things like marvel & dc, rpg (i’m a big stardew valley player), music - i’m literally ALWAYS down to talk about music, wayyyyy too many tv shows, i’m also an occasional writer :)

ns/fw below the cut!

kinks!

(this will be updated as needed)

orgasm denial, edging, ruined orgasms

breath play, impact play, power play

ropes and bondage

pet (pup) play!

choking, slapping, hitting/spanking, biting, scratching

limits/no’s

(updated as needed)

rape play, cnc

age play

scat, piss/watersports, spit (not drooling), vomit

i will not use titles like ‘daddy’ or ‘sir’

DNI:

race play/fetishists

detrans, misgender fetishists

homo/transphobes, racists, bigots and any hate of any kind towards someone else earns you an automatic block & report

ddlg/mdlg/abdl & cgl blogs

ed/pro ana/“thinspo” blogs

this post is still a work in progress, but for now i have a tip link in my bio, or my paypal! if you like my content and are feeling generous :3

i’ll have a menu/price list up soon!

i plan on starting up my OF soon too :>

i welcome all asks minus anything on my no-list. have a fantasy you wanna share with me? yes please. wanna tell me something something about your day? i’m all ears! tell me how you’re gonna break me down, make me cry, take me to the edge over and over and over, and praise me like there’s no tomorrow? <3 umumum😳 you can do that too!👉👈

my tags!

# 💎 jules.horny.text

# 💎 jules.horny.pix

# 💎 jules.pix

# 💎 jules.pinned.post

# 💎 jules.barks

you’ve reached the end :D

[amrass]

Fanfiction updates and excerpts 01.05.25

Hello! I hope everyone's transition into the new year is going alright. Mine is going okay, still playing Silent Hill 2 Remastered and adoring it. I've decided to try to slow down a bit on writing & uploads. In short, this means 2-3 oneshots or chapters a month instead of 4.

Coming up in the next weeks are one Joe/Micah fic for Red Dead Redemption, two Jim/Curly (one of which also has Curly & Anya) for Mouthwashing, and a rarepair crossover Vaughan/Alexia smut fic for the movies Crash and Titane. Explicit excerpts after the cut. Lots of dubcon with noncon elements. Consider yourself warned.

Blood Promise (Red Dead Redemption, Joe/Micah, dubious consent, internalized homophobia, obsession, evil caretaking set after the low honor ending of RDR2)

At least the bruises shaped like Morgan's knuckles are gone. Joe had loathed them. No one gets to touch like this Micah but him. No one gets to smear prickly pear oil across the scabs of the knife wounds. No one gets to reach a little higher to find him fully hard.

Gotcha.

"Don't." It's a rasp, barely audible. "Ain't boys no more."

"I know."

"And I ain't queer."

"Of course not," Joe says, frowning deeply, because while this has something to do with boyhood, this has nothing to do with queerness. This is natural, always has been, his hand tightening around Micah's hardness until he ceases to pull away. "I can tell you're frustrated, boss. I could get a whore to come up here, but with the way women babble, the law could come knocking. Just relax."

.

I'll Cut Off My Right Hand and Stand in Your Shadow (Mouthwashing, Jimmy/Curly, dubious consent, Jimmy is hiding in a closet and watches Curly's ass get wrecked by a random student and he has a lot of violent feelings about it)

Jimmy's hand moved on its own, wrapping the cloth around him and using it as a sleeve. Silicone or even skin would have been more comfortable, but it was nice, because it was Curly's. Besides, donating a pair of shorts was the least he could've done for making Jimmy endure seeing this shit.

Enduring his perfection, writhing underneath the foreign weight, opening up for it. Enduring their differences, because Jimmy would never let himself get treated like this, taking it, sweat dripping off his muscles. Jimmy wondered how tight his little asshole was, whether or not it was strained around the intrusion, clenching prettily, struggling deftly, so perfect in his ruin, his wreck of a friend.

"Can you lay down on your back?" Swimmer asked, ruining the illusion, also with how he slipped out and started pulling at Curly's thighs. "I wanna see your face when I fuck you."

"Sure," Curly exhaled, ever the pliant partner, swallowing down his noises as Swimmer pulled out, getting on his back.

"Good boy," Jimmy whispered, as if it was him Curly submitted to.  

.

Triple Sun part 2 of 3 (Mouthwashing, mostly gen fic with some Jimcurly that deals with the Tulpar Disaster from Curly's POV)

He hoped that he lifted some of Anya's burden, though he probably didn't.

"Did something happen?" she asked him during the day. "Is the pain worse than usual?"

No, he motioned to her and wished he had lips to cover his skeletal grin. 

"She thinks I'm the devil," Jimmy told him at night. "But I'm not, not really. Quite the opposite."

Curly made no response at all except to stare.

Jimmy was so close now, on all fours above Curly on the bed, face inches above his, lips moving. Mumbling to himself. Looking into Curly's eye like he could wrench it open and put himself inside, crawl through him, fill out his body and become who he used to be. 

.

Triple Sun part 3 of 3 (same as above)

"I tried not to think about it, but partying wasn't fun anymore," Anya continued. "I was only studying. I still ... went out with some guys, and it was fine. I kind of used it as evidence that everything was fine. Because I wasn't like, afraid of ... you know. Those things. But I kept flunking the entrance exam. Again and again. Every time I just froze. Couldn't think of a single answer. But as soon as I was home, I knew every damn answer easily as nothing. Oh. Sorry for cursing."

"Don't be," Curly croaked, feeling light-headed.

"I filed a police report six years after the incident. They investigated it, but found no suspects. There wasn't much evidence either. Whenever I meet that old friend group who'd been contacted by the police and were doctors by now, they give me these long pitying looks. I ... The experience taught me that if it ever happened again, I'd need to be quicker. But ... I ... It's not been two years this time, but I still waited. It's been a few weeks. But I'm doing it. I'm doing it right now."

Finally, Anya met Curly's eyes, dark like the night screen above them.

.

Valve (Crossover between Crash and Titane, Vaughan/Alexia, evil bisexual car fetishists doing it to death, sex on top of a car, sex work, language barrier, consensual but not safe or sane)

"80 kilomètres," Justine screams. "Ça va? Alexia, ça va? 

"Oui, j'ai compris ! Oughhh, tu m'énerves, toi et lui tous les deux..."

"Cute," Vaughan sneers, then pushes his hips up – the way his legs creak from the strain lost in the sounds of the motor and the wind – to make Alexia focus on what he's paying her for. Her attention snaps back to him if the way she snaps her strong hips is an indicator, riding him with intent. The squelches are loud. More motor oil covers his thighs and the creased up folds of his jeans and her tiny fucking shorts. He would've liked to grab her ass, squeeze her like her fishnet stockings did in her online videos, girlish and boyish at the same time. Her cunt is hot and tight, but her gaze is made of ice, which will shatter as they plunge into a grande mort in the upcoming crash.

(Hopefully, I'll see you around! 🖤😎)

[hurlumerlu]

miw/neo/shin for the ship ask ?

Well obviously you can guess that I love them, I haven't been subtle about it (also thank you for diving in the tag and providing me with good gifsets u.u) I love them individually - though Miw's the best and the guys are both sometimes irritating in their own way, you can't change my mind - and I love them as a trio, but I also love how they (still as a trio) interract with other characters in universe and narratively, and I love every single side of their triangle, though again : Miw & Shin have such a fun and surprisingly meaty dynamic, it's definitely my favourite out of the three.

On that subject, it is really nice to see a polyamorous triad that isn't a perfect triangle but where the non-romantic side is given (roughly) as much weight as the romantic ones. Neo isn't here when Miw and Shin meet, and something sparks without him. There's this shift, in their first bedroom scene, where Miw is bringing forth this cute and nice persona but respond to Shin's attempt at sincerity by deciding that putting her more abrasive self forward is a risk worth taking, and it's pretty pivotal ? After that Shin trusts her even when it's... pretty obvious she's lying, and she reciprocate by simply wanting to spend time with him without expecting anything from him. Like, their friendship started before The Clusterfuck, it could have blossomed on it's own, and it is important from that point on (Shin #1 Miw defender).

That being said, I also enjoy having a f/m/m polycule where the woman isn't the arrow's head. I feel like the very few stories who depict this kind of situations tend to rely on the men being bro but desiring the same woman in a weird attempt to, idk, retain some heterosexuality ? Not that it works. But here it feels like they went out of their way to avoid that, and I am here for it. Everyone gets their turn in the middle, but Neo is the clear linchpin of the throuple. Remove him and they fall appart, because of their respective insecurities. "It's time for this movie to end", say Miw, because why would she saddle the rich boy with her trashy mess ? and Shin doesn't object because why would he bother this cool girl that his crush loves more than him ? The three of them are stupidly self-sacrificial in different ways. But yeah, it's Neo's belief that when it comes to love they are allowed to have it all that keeps them together and it's just sweet.

Speaking of insecurities, I appreciate that it does actually take more than them fucking once for their relationship to be all smooth sailing, and that most of their hangs-up are pretty realistic results of, uh, living in our world. Like, Miw & Neo's poverty and their complicated relationship re: sex-work that they keep throwing in each other's face (Neo straight up calling Miw a whore, Miw arguing that Neo's a bad romantic prospect because he's poor and vulgar and uneducated) ? And you cannot convince me that Shin's conviction that he's just not as important to them as they are to him is partly from experiencing homophobia and seeing himself as the gay option vs Miw/Neo as the normal path anyone would want to take. I mean obviously gangster dad is the biggest obstacle in their path but I like that they also face internal ones. I'm often frustrated by the way polyamory is sometimes presented as the solution to love triangles (especially in fandom spaces) because imo, the neat narrative thing an OT3 does isn't that it solves the problem, but that it creates different ones. The show does it beautifully.

On a more, idk, bird-eyed view perspective ? I greatly enjoy just watching them blaze accross Thailand ruining lives without meaning to. The Mae/Phon/Ter mirrorverse doomed trio, Neo's boss, that guy Oat, the hotel manager and her family, Neo's brother, Luang I guess, even arguably Vanika... never has a polycule been such an ill-omen. Incredible Natural Disaster Energy. Three will be free and yes that is a threat.

UGH there was something else I wanted to talk about but I forgot what it was, I didn't expect this to get this long and also I'm sick and my brain isn't working super well right now. Anyway : never forget Neo fucked the step-son right after the step-mom. Or that time when Miw flirted with Neo's brother, while Neo watched them with jealousy, while Shin watched HIM with jealousy. Terrible work, team, eat some pot-brownies and then hit the showers.

[fairydust-stuff]

Yut lung & Mr Chang black lagoon crossover

Chang curses, its a frusteratng situation  a half brother is better then a zombie. Still making a whore into a proper head of the triad was not going to be easy. 

This kid was raised to be a  pawn in his brothers games not a leader. There was flashes of something. The kid had good instincts and the way he had used his own brother as a shield to hide behind was impressive. 

“ Anything on our little Lynx?” He asked 

“ He’s being held at the National mental health institute, its a front for illegal experiments on criminals”Balalikia said in his ear. 

 “That takes care of one problem at least”  Chang said. Maybe the institute would fry the kids brains to the point they wouldn’t have to deal with him. “ Still keep an eye on him” 

“ About, your pet dragon,  According to my comrades, observation, He exserts poor control over his own men” Balalikia said into his ear. 

Chang nods it made sense. 

“ Also, he lets his own gang do whatever. Apparently Wang Lung Lee soured relations with their own gang to the point where, there’s quite a bit of tension ” 

“ In other words, we got a bunch of gang brats with no respect for authority” Chang wanted to sigh. 

“ ….Sing Soo ling the gang leader is around his own age, I understand.” 

 “ From what I observed, he’s definitely a soft spot” Chang agreed.

“ I’ve already issued the orders for an eye to be kept on Sing Soo Ling” 

“ Good, something tells me he’s going to be trouble” 

“ But for who is the question….this is disaster….the boy isn’t ready to lead. We may just have to put him down and assign someone else to puppet Hau Lung” 

“ Now lets not be too hasty, the kid isn’t a complete lost cause” Chang lights his cigar. 

“ I’ve also been keeping taps on Mr Golzine and his organization. You might find this interesting though they were struggling with the Banana Fish formula. They did perfect it enough to control their subjects until the task is done. Then they kill themselves” 

“ Hau Lung Lee is still alive” 

“ Precisely my point, i’d be careful if I were you Mr Chang. We both know how dangerous wounded children can be and I suspect this one is far smarter then he lets on”  

“ I see your point, i’ll let you know of any new delopments on my end as well” Chang hangs up. 

Bui Yuen frowns “ This kid, what do you want with him?” 

“ To take him to lunch ” Chang said with a straight face….

Yut Lung sits across from him at the restaurant . Chang senses a kind of apprehension coming from him. 

“ You seem tense, if its about the Vietnmames attacking. I have men everywhere for our protection” 

“ Its not that…its just i’ve never been out…”  

True Yut Lung  being a secret is what his entire sense of safety has relied upon. 

“ Don’t worry, I had the place reserved entirely, no one else will come in today” 

“ Thank you” 

Chang chuckled, it was amusing the son of one of the most powerful families in Hong Kong with a internation reach on a global scale and he was thanking him for privacy. 

“ I’m not making fun of you, I swear” he said as the kid sulked at him. “ Order what you like” 

“ Since you know this place it would be best if you choose the meal” 

Chang gives him a knowing look “ You don’t have preferences” 

The kid flushed. 

“ Ok, i’ll get us a bit of everything” 

 The bar is so low for this kid Chang muses. His world is even smaller then the average crimininals extending from his manor and occasionally into a seedy hotel. Still there’s no point in feeling sorry for the kid. That would be hypocritical since Chang intends to mold him into a pawn to be used for his own ends. 

Yut Lung thanks him again. Once their food arrives,  Chang asks about his hobbies and after some testing to see if the question was actually innocent, he’s treated to an excited little  ramble about new flowers in the garden. Before Yut Lung, clears his throat puts on that pseudo adult mask and resumes being stiff and composed. 

  He wonders if some of the kids cuteness is natural which sickingly enough might of been the reason he’d been popular. Whores weren’t just pretty faces and talent, they had to have something that drew people in. 

Despite himself, Chang feels a slight sliver of disgust in whatever passes for his heart these days. 

“ Please continue” 

Yut Lung frowns  “ I know your angle….you don’t fool me” 

“ Aww Yut Lung don’t be so cold” 

The kid studies him, Chang notices him digging his nails in the back of his hand under the table. 

“ I’m not sleeping with you” Yut Lung said coldly. 

Chang threw back his head and laughed  “ I’ll be the first to admit,  i’m a huge piece of shit but even I’m not that much of a turd.“ 

“ So what do you want then?” 

“ The bragging rights of turning a whore into a triad head” Mr Chang said dryly. “ I could do it better then my Fair Lady” 

Yut Lung  smiles sharply “ I will find out eventually” 

“ Dessert?” 

Yut Lung shook his head “ I don’t eat sweets…he would…..” Then Yut Lung’s eyes narrow with determination  “ Actually i’d love dessert” 

“  One treat won’t do anything honestly you could stand to gain a few pounds.”  Mr Chang argued.. Something on the salty side would suit your tastes ?” 

“Approrite” Yut Lung smiled.

Mr Chang slide a folder across the table to Yut Lung. 

The boy riffled though it surprise lighting up his face. 

“ You were never going to be in the know  not in his, organization….what are you even doing for him?” 

Yut Lung’s face said it all. 

Chang was amused  “ Let me guess ….he still see’s you as that little bed warmer with no actual skills” 

“ Its fine” 

Pretty smile portraying the right amount of teeth. Practiced, rehearseda a little robo doll. He’s seething inside Chang suspects. 

“ A favor like this doesn’t come free, what do you want?” 

Chang lights his cigar. “ Lets cut the shit! I know you made some bad business deals lately. Hardly a dent in your blood fortune, but its clear you were never groomed to head the Lee family. Simply to be a bargaining chip in the middle of transactions.” 

“ Your offering to help me?” 

“ Kid, i’ll be  your god dam guardian angel. ” 

Yut Lung looked at him squarely “ And the old man?” 

“ I’d rather eat my own shit then work with that idolt” Chang said bluntly. 

“ Ah but you see him and I are friends as well” 

“ Before you turn those documents into Dino in an attempt to gain favor, i’d suggest you think about your position…..” Mr Chang suggested. 

“ Are you threatening me , now that’s not very friendly is it?” Yut Lung asked with false innocence

“ I don’t need to do anything. A stupid predator, is still a threat to its prey. He’ll smell your venerability like a shark can sniff blood in the water.” Chang informs him.  “ His kind always does its like second nature for them” 

“ Can you smell me Mr Chang?” there’s a challenge in his voice. 

“ You reek of wine, and i’m not just talking social drinking.” he takes another drag of his smoke. Its an obvious sign the kid isn’t coping well. There’s a hint of vomit there too even his perfumes cann’t hide. He’s not just hitting the champane he’s drinking until he passes out or gets sick. 

He notices the tensing of Yut Lung’s long fingers. 

 “ Relax kid, i’m not going to devour you , after all we’re… friends now” he says mockingly. 

“ A large piece of pecan pie please after all you wouldn’t want me to still have an appetite after i’m done” Yut Lung looks him dead in the sunglasses. 

Mr Chang bursts  out laughing

[wendytestabrat]

WHAT I THINK THE SOUTH PARK CHARACTER’S BIG 3 ARE IN ASTROLOGY

ok their sun signs are already confirmed in canon but here are what i think their moon and risings are. and btw in astrology your rising sign is your outer shell and how u come across to others on first impression, your sun sign is like your ego and how you think of yourself, and then your moon sign is your deep emotional core. think of it like pulling back 3 layers of an onion with the rising sign on top, then the sun, then the moon.

STAN:

stan is OBVIOUSLY a taurus rising like look at his fucking deadpanned expression 24/7. it’s also why he’s rlly rational and calm compared to the other boys and ik his libra sun makes him like that too but a lot of libras are still fun and enthusiastic people, so his taurus rising makes him a more serious & mature libra rather than a retarded ditzy one LOL. and stan def has that stable and reliable essence to him that taurean people have which is what makes him a loyal friend. stan doesn’t like change it’s why he won’t fucking dump wendy and stays friends with kyle, CLASSIC TAURUS NONSENSE. he can also pop off out of nowhere like a taurus if u piss him off LOL. i’ve already talked abt how stan is a stereotypical libra so go look at that post. and then then when u peel the onion all the way down to his moon stan is DEF a pisces moon like yeah he does come across as a more rational and level-headed person bc of the taurus and libra but i mean deep down stan is still a rlly sensitive af person and he can get depressed easily and throw a huge pity party.

KYLE:

bruh kyle is a PISCES RISING idc what anyone says. ok picking kyle’s rising sign was actually the hardest bc there were a lot i could see him as. when it came down to it, it was a toss up between pisces and virgo for me LOL. like obviously he has virgo traits bc he’s overly critical abt everyone and everything and he overly helps people too much but that’s a pisces trait too and what virgo & pisces have in common and why they’re sister signs bc they both get overly enmeshed in other people’s drama LOL. he’s a pisces rising bc on first glance kyle comes across like he’s all sweet and innocent and wants to help everyone and save the day and he’s EXTREMELY charming, hence why cartman said “kyle you are the sweet one” but then when u get to know him better that uncaring selfish detached gemini part of him comes out LOL. and ofc he has to be a cancer moon bc kyle is literally the biggest drama queen on planet earth and is a big moody bitch. he has the typical mood swings of a gemini but it’s amplified 100x bc he’s a cancer moon duh. and he’s way too overly concerned with everyone else’s problems and he has too much empathy like a typical cancer. i hate it when gemini and cancer placements come together bc it creates the nosiest bitch ever that thinks your problems are their problems. and yeah cartman is a cancer sun, but honestly cancer moons are way more intense bc the moon rules cancer and the moon is abt your emotional side so when that’s in cancer is creates a disaster LOL.

CARTMAN:

ok cartman is a LEO rising there is no doubt about it. literally every bad trait people say leos have is really what leo risings are not leo suns. they’re the biggest attention whore narcissists on the planet. leo suns are dignified and confident (like me 😏) bc the sun rules leo so we don’t need to do that attention seeking crap LOL. that’s why cartman comes across SUPER charismatic and confident. he’s a HUGE leader and loves being the center of attention. he also has a lot of that fiery energy and gets rlly aggressive and childish at times. but yeah peeling back the onion he’s a cancer sun and scorpio moon and is actually just double water. his cancer traits are his love of his home, his mom and his loyalty to his friends etc. his kindness and sensitivity (THAT THE GOD DAMN OTHER BOYS USED AGAINST HIM AND PROVOKED HIM FOR). but yeah if u dig even deeper it’s the scorpio moon that is the true reason for cartman’s vengeful behavior and how he’s so damn good at emotionally manipulating people. cancers have those traits too but he has to have scorpio bc i mean that would explain why he takes shit as far as he does and he’s very persistent & passionate in carrying out his plans. cartman can achieve anything he wants.

KENNY:

yeah kenny is an AQUARIUS RISING the dude wears a fucking parka all day long and is aloof as fuck. PEOPLE THINK HE’S WEIRD, but they also think he’s friendly and nice. and yeah he’s an aries bc kenny just doesn’t give a fuck and will risk his life and put himself into dangerous ass situations that kills him like a typical aries LOL. he lives on the edge and likes to have fun which is why him and cartman get along rlly well. and he’s also a pisces moon like stan bc bro is compassionate and sensitive af deep down. kenny is just a good af & caring friend that will sacrifice himself to help u. he’s literally everything kyle claims to be but isn’t but that’s probably why kyle is just a pisces rising while kenny is a pisces moon LOL. kyle only APPEARS to be that caring self-sacrificing martyr, kenny actually IS.

WENDY:

she’s a gemini rising period. ok wendy comes across SUPER social, smart, & charming. she can talk to anyone and become their friend in an instant but she’s also a two-faced cunt too and she changes her mind and personality in every episode LOL. but yeah when u get to her core she’s actually a sagittarius bc not only is wendy smart, but she’s rlly passionate about her beliefs and will speak her truth even if it gets her in trouble or disliked. which kind of contradicts her gemini rising where she’ll act fake so she will be liked and popular. but yeah deep down wendy is a scorpio moon just like cartman bc she’s extremely intense and you don’t wanna fuck with her. just like cartman she’s extremely persistent and strategic abt something if she wants it. wow i just realized all four of the boys AND wendy are water moons. go figure. they’re all overly emotional sensitive ass bitches.

BUTTERS:

yeah he’s DEF a cancer rising. butters comes across like he’s gonna be an overly emotional victimized turd like cartman & kyle bc he is rlly sensitive on the outside (and he def does have his crabby moments when he does snap), but when you peel back the layers of the onion butters is actually a lot more chill & mature than that. he’s rlly loyal and reliable bc of his virgo sun and always willing to lend a hand (sometimes to the point where he gets taken advantage of) and he can be a bit of a perfectionist. (mainly bc his dad is so damn strict) but yeah u peel back the layers even more to his libra moon butters isn’t rlly an overly emotional turd he’s just this aloof ass airhead that’s overly happy, optimistic, & nice.