#the best thing youll ever read

[denako]

🧚‍♂️If you decide to read this i do not guaranteed that youll get out of it brain damage free🧚‍♂️

Aka the worst thing I've ever wrote

:)

This is jotawes for those 5 people that ship it, also theres a "smutty" scene but written in the most nonsexy way possible

Also i wrote this 3 years ago so... Yeah

A love story i guess

"Hey dade!!!" Yelled jelen, the music was way too loud, she couldnt even hear her own thoughts.

"Oh! Hey Joleane, whats updog??"

"Not much, whachu doin here?" She asked. Not even knowing why she was speaking with her father in the first place.

"Chillin', but i was thinking bout goin home, an old fart like me has no rights to be at a party full of young horny people! Thats against the rules." He said sounding older than ever.

"Gonna take weather with me doe, hes old too. im afraid his old crusty bones will fall apart if he isnt careful enough" Joutaro added.

"Oh" exclaimed Jelean, a sour face painted on her face 👀🦷🦷😈.

"Ok den!!"

"You sound like you want me gone daughter!!" Jorato said with a bitter tone😠😠.

"NO FATHER i would never do such a thing, i am also afraid that your old bones will fall apart."

"Ok then, enjoy the rest of the party"

"Ok"

JOTERO left with weather report to do old man stuff at his home. JOLENA was glad that her old man was taking care of himself, she really wouldnt want to clean up his crusty dusty musty bones if he died.

Jolenaen continued being gay and dancing to the trash music playing on the speakers..

But then out of nowhere a group of girlies swarmed her. They were everywhere clawing at her like cats claw de... The thing... What do u call it?... The thing on the window.

IT DOESN'T MATTER OK.

She did not understand what was going on. When a group of girlies swarm her like this, they usually want to get closer to her. But not now. They were asking questions about her father.

What

They were asking for his number and stuff. She didnt know why as she didnt have the dilf eye. .

(The dilf e)

She shooed them away, there was no way she was going to give them the number of her gayass father. (She did not know he was a gayass)

She was going furious as some of the girliepops returned trying their luck again. But to no avail. Jolena was very stubborn and was not planning on leaking the personal details of her fathers credit card number to some random lady.

She then went and commited a few war crimes, just to spice up the night. She was now wanted in 13 European countries.

But then the girliers returned, she had no way to fight them and she succumbed to their voices squeaking like the goddamn rubber chickens.

Back at jootas house he was hitting that evil vvizard vveed with wes "weather report" bluemarine.

(Pictr of evil vvizard vveed)

They were both fucked up on the vveed. If jolana figured out he was doing this behind her back she would probably take and crumple him like a piece of paper. Then smoke him like he was doing with the vveed right now.

Out of nowhere Wes said " hey džotaro my dude, what about the funny... will we commit the funny today??"

"Oh, of course we will my evil vveather vvizard!"

There was silence for a moment, then joteroad continued "Thats why i took you here in the first place!"

"Ok then... So uh.. when will we start😳😳"

"How the fuck did you say that with your mouth?????"

Instead of an answer there was silence.

"Whatever... We will start once im done with this vveed"

"Ok then"

But unfortunately Jotroad was an extremely slow smoker, so finishing a single vveed took him about an hour.

In this time Wes smoked 7 vveeds.

He was so fucked up he could smell the colors.

"Ok im done😀"

Wes looked at him with his third eye 👁️.

Suddenly completely sober.

"Ok"

They started commiting the funny intercourse. It was very good and funny

.

They were... NAKED EWWWWW, but thats the harsh truth of commiting the funny crime.

"Oh yes my beloved, i am arriving" wes switched into being bri'ish for some reason.

Then he arrived.

The funny crime has been committed, they were now on an fbi watchlist.

Wes collapsed on the very moist joterod. He had no more energy. Very tired boy he was now.

They were laying on the couch in the living room, but jerotad didnt see any problem with this. He forgor 💀 that Jolenan actually lives with him, after being kicked out out of her previous home, because they found that saint jesus vveed in her apartment.

But still, she was probably gonna end up sleeping over at one of her gay ass friends house.

But THEN... OUT OF NOWHERE SHE BURSTS THROUGH THE DOOR

OH FUCK

ALL OF THEM PANIC, joleaned starts scratching her eyes out and screeching at the top of her lungs as he accidentally saw weathers naked dusty ass.

"WHAT THE FUXK DAD{€¶€÷{`{€" SHE YELLS.

"Fucking dont look then bitch" Joteroded calmed down really fast because he was still high from that vvizard vveed.

" I fucking cant see now, i have no eyes" jolanda yells as she holds her eyes in her palms like that dude from pans labyrinth.

"Sucks to suck" says wes, his ass still completely naked and crusty

"Yeah and go sleep večerníček is already over"

"Of course papà" jolened leaves like the very obedient child she is.

"Very well then" retorts wes

"娘指ェ州の時期日起再去拿" says joterodesad and then they both fall asleep.

Jolene ends up screaming the entire night 😊😊.

The end🌈

Hope you didn't enjoy👴

[starpros-sunshine]

Eichi gives away the mask so easily because it was never meant to be an "engagement ring" like you delulu wataeis imagined it to be lmao. It was wataru saying that he will continue playing tsumugi clown role in fine and won't leave it for hokuto's mother troupe after graduation. Do you dumb fucks even read the stories? Eichi didn't even understand tf that mask meant when wataru gave it to him and wataru referenced fucking tsumugi in his "proporsal". I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link. Cope

PS: how do you live with the fact that Eichi clearly admitted to never being in love in his life and Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives?

I love you anon thank you for giving me a nice reason to ramble again beautiful ask 10/10 I'm sorry this is probably not how you hoped this would go but this is such a funny block of text delightful really thank you for the enrichment please marry me

But okay yes now to get down to the actual ask just to disclaim I am solely relying on translations seeing as I do not speak japanese well enough to understant the original text so if anyone has anything to add to this or to correct me on please feel free to do so.

Now to get started I'm not sure if one could say Eichi gave away the mask "So easily" seeing as he claimed that it was "a hard choice to make"? Which, as one might know, implies unease with an idea and pondering and debating and a general amount of thinking behind a decision so? I know this isn't really the main focus of this ask but I'm just a tad miffed with the semantics of it is all. And in either case giving the mask back to Wataru while expecting it back still shows a certain degree of trust in their relationship it wouldn't have been such a big deal for him (as it apparently was) if the mask didn't have a lot of sentimental value to him (the both of them really if we look at the whole exchange).

Now to the claim that the mask was "only" Watarus promise to stay with fine and "continue playing Tsumugis clown role". This is not entirely incorrect. Regarding the acting troupe and staying with fine bit at least.

I'm assuming this bit in EP:Link Deadend/7 is what you are referencing, and I see where you're coming from. But the bluebird line

from literally three dialogue lines further down, which references this line of dialogue (notorious Eichi line everyone should be familiar with)

kind of somewhat really recontextualises that? Because you see this is a reference to a fairytale about a pair of siblings and they get sent out by a nice fairy to find the bluebird of happiness for her sad daughter to make her happy again so they both go on an adventure and travel far and search and search but they can not find the bluebird of happiness and then when they return home again, disappointed because they couldn't find the blue bird, they realise only one night has actually passed and the journey was probably just a dream. But then their eyes fall upon their pet dove in it's cage which appears blue all of a sudden and so they gift it to the fairies sad daughter which becomes happy again and sets the bird free. The real bluebird of happiness is a dove. At least in the version of the story I'm familiar with but I mean everyone sees the symbolism right? It's. very hard to miss.

And then dropping this?

I'm not sure how to say this properly but in the overall context this makes it pretty clear that Tsumugi has nothing to do with this anymore this is Fully between Wataru and Eichi. And I am the last person to dismiss Tsumugis significance in the course of Wataeis relationship as characters I will be among the first to protest when someone dismisses the importance of Tsumugis and Eichis relationship in favour of some image they have of Wataei but he has nothing to do with this one.

Yes Tsumugi gets namedropped but - again - I don't really see how that would lessen the sentiment Wataru is triying to convey here? Because. Yes. Why wouldn't he mention Tsumugi?

The entire conversation pretty much boils down to "Yes I was initially only in this because I thought I could replace Tsumugis role in your life and then I wanted to leave but we have spent so much time together that I realised that that is definitely not working out because I really do love you. I love you as a teammate; I love you as a friend; I love you as a person and I am very angry at myself for not managing to get that into your head. So please allow me to stay with you for as long as you'll have me." And then also Eichi not understanding because he has the emotional self awareness of a very emotionally unaware loaf of bread and also because he hates himself that is a very big thing about his character huge part of his character arc actually that he. you know? Hates himself? And feels guitly for his actions during the war? And doesn't think he deserves love and companionship? Which is why Wataru wanting to stay with him for him and not for some twisted form of revenge is such an alien concept to him? Because he is projecting his insecurities onto Wataru? As one is wont to do when they hate themself? "EiChi Didn'T eVen UnDErStanD WhAt tf ThAT Mask MEAnt" Yeah. That's. That's the point? So he can think about it and come to that conclusion himself which works as a keymoment in his characters journey from hating life and himself to enjoying being alive and wanting to live on because of the people he's surrounded with? He literally explains why he didn't immediately understand the mask during the EP:Link Epilogue/4

And to get back to the "I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" about which I have two things to say:

"Lying" implies further intent and an effort. Neither of which exist in this case.

He literally went down on one knee while making a big proclamation of offering himself to Eichi with a very personal item that works as a symbol for their commitment to each other on a starlit rooftop. The comparison writes itself.

3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke

And then I expected there to be a proper reason given and instead you proceed to follow that up with "when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link". I know the shame is on me for expecting something sensical from an ask which has been near constant in it's lack of correct statements but such is human nature I suppose. And you are not wrong. Deadend/7 isn't very close to the end of EP:Link. That is true.

But do you know what Is very close to the end of EP:Link? The Epilogue Chapters 3-5.

Do you know what the content of those chapters is? I do. Very well actually :)

(Eichi literally explains why he didn't get it)

So if this answers your "Do you dumb fucks even read the stories?" questions, Yes. And I think I'm a lot better at it than you. So I'd say I'm coping quite well over here :p

PS: Regarding your PS, I take the "I've never been in love before so I wouldn't know" comment with a lot of humour actually as an aroace person who's emotional self awareness also ends at "good" and "Not good" I think it's very funny all things considered especially because he mentioned the loving Wataru thing several times before that and I'm generally of the belief that actions speak louder than words and also am in a happy long term relationship with the concept of "Reading Subtext". So please excuse me for not breaking down in tears everytime someone reminds me of that one singuar line of text in one of my favourite all time enstars stories that came out three years ago which also brought us the single best card set in the entire game

as well as absolute banger dialogue such as

Among others <33

And there are soooooo many other examples of wataei dialogue that simply make me swoon but I have already had to take out so many of the one's I wish I could put here so this wouldn't get "Do you love the colour of the sky" long

And also, regarding your "Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives" I'll just say that no he absolutely could not. I mean he'd say that and if pull comes to shove and he has no other option then he might seriously consider it but may I mention that Wataru was gone for a few days at most but really not that long of a time during Sanctuary and Eichi stopped considering being a normal rational person that doesn't leave helpless 17 year olds in the midst of a construction site. Very different situation but I feel like it's worth mentioninh here. Another example is Eichis almost not being able to go through with the war because of Wataru. Wataru had to actively come and tell Eichi to go through with it. Wataru isn't the reason Eichi started the war, that is wrong, but he is the reason Eichi almost didn't finish it. and during the war era that was his Main objective. Again I'm part of the fraction "actions speak louder than words" Show don't tell and all that, but even the words are pushing it.

And that concludes my essay :)

[sluttyten]

personal rant

[apathyfairy]

tbh most of the time i really don’t get the whole “i wish i could give my teenage self a hug and tell her everything is going to be ok” thing but now i do because i opened my notes app and scrolled all the way back to 2013 and i feel like i just went through a time machine bc like i’m her and she’s me and we’re both still writing about feeling broken and how lonely we are and now i get it i want to give 18 year old me a hug so bad rn

[thecherrygod]

hm

[angnoirs]

THESE REACTIONS ARE ON POINT!!???? NO BECAUSE WE READ 5 CHAPTERS ALL IN ONE GO AND I DONT THINK IVE EVER EXPERIENCED MORE AGONY AND SHOCK IN MY ALL MY YEARS OF LIVING. @masternia AND I WERE SCREAMING ALL THE WAY THROUGH AND NOW I THINK WE NEED LIFE SUPPORT

I JUST CAUGHT UP WITH @buggachat ‘s FANFIC ALONGSIDE MY FRIEND @angnoirs JUST NOW- AND HERE IS MY LIVE REACTION WITH MIRACULOUS IMAGES:

Chapter 1:

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6:

Chapter 7:

BUGGA I LOVE YOU BUT THE WAY YOU BASICALLY KILLED @angnoirs AND I?!?! DO YOU NOT FEEL BAD FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONEEEEEE- ANYWAYS EVERYONE READ DROWNING IN PLAN SIGHT RIGHT NOW

[syxilla]

If requests is still up then - Can you please do a kenji sato x best friend/ extrovert x introvert relationship. Where kenji likes showing off , reader is reserved. And like a balanced relation?!🙏

Kenji x !introverted bestfriend reader

my requests are open dw! actually this is my first ever ask, so idrk how i'll do- but i think i got what u wanted correctly? (pls tell me if im wrong) also, as usual i dont proof read so mind my mistakes! (Ｔ▽Ｔ)

cw: ken sato x gender neutral reader, relatively sfw, introverted reader, (pre-relationship) best friend reader, reader is a pessimist, ken is aggresively kind (kinda)

-bestfriend! kenji who aggresively shakes you while holding your arm. "y/n!" kenji yells excitedly, this made you drop your book, bending its pages. "oh my- what do you want ji?" you grumbled, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down. "you~" he flirted while smirking.

-bestfriend! kenji who gets a flick in the middle of his forehead. "you made me drop my book." who'd rub the spot with a pout playing on his lips. "that hurttt" he whined. "and what do you want me to do about it?" youd query, picking up your book tryying to find the page. "a kiss to make the pain go away?"hed smile.

-bestfriend! kenji who's smile would grow wider once he felt your soft lift press against his head briefly. "thank you!" hed drag out before swinging an arm pver your shoulder to bring you closer. you know, regular friend things.

-bestfriend! kenji who always forces you out of your comfort zone by dragging you to events such as concerts, parades, festivals and most recently the movies. the movies where hed buy everything for you both, eat an absurd amount of snacks you both knew would make his tummy hurt and yet he still did. putting on a mask to not draw any unwanted attention to you both. forcing you to watch horror movies with him that had an excessive amount of blood and nightmare fuel, making you cling onto his arm whenever itd make you jump. not that he minded. of course he wouldnt mind, he never did when it was you.

-bestfriend! kenji who'd rent out the entire theater if you really didnt want to interact with anyone. youd always try to discourag him from doing so, saying he shouldnt spend a lot of money on you, but he always says its fine. he loves to show off his wealth to you, and he also loves to spoil you. buyinng you gifts and practically anything you wanted. just say the word and youll have it. perks of having rich baseball players as a (sadly) best friend.

-bestfriend! kenji who'd drag you into various fancy stores that someone of your working class would have no idea about just so you could rate the things hed grab. "does this shirt look good on me?" hed ask, as if he could look bad in anything. and youd nod, a slight warmness in your cheeks when youd watch him change in and out of each shirt. trying your best to not stare.

-bestfriend! kenji who'd lay his head on yours or on your shoulder after a tiring game. only wanting to sleep. and you didnt mind, just ruffling his hair and enjoying the company of your friend. all while ignoring the little voices in your friend that were desperately trying to change the word friend into something else.

-bestfriend! kenji who promises to always be by your side in larger crowds. tuggling you close enough so that you felt the warmth generating off of his body. you especially liked this warmth during the winter, he was like your own personal fireplce wrapped in a ball of cuteness and a ribbon of sarcasm.

-bestfriend! kenji who you may or may not have feelings for. the same kenji who just asked you out on a date.

(i hope i didnt dissapoint, ty again for submitting an ask, i hope i did u justice!)

[doctorwhoisadhd]

i’ve been seeing ur blaseball posts for a while now and i have to say i have No earthly idea what it is. is it a webcomic? a band?? a sport??? pls give me a crash course on this seemingly cool thing

well shes dead forever unfortunately (riv) BUT blaseball was an absurdist baseball sim that u watched in ur browser, basically like if fantasy football was simultaneously massively multiplayer AND an ARG and also completely fucking insane. it was the best because it ran at all hours of the day and was so so fucking insane and spawned a LOT of memes and fanworks especially art and music! one of the best fan communities for fan music that has maybe ever existed if not The best. ur experience of it was largely filtered thru the team u followed (mine was the hawaiʻi fridays)

here are some blaseball sites for u

blaseball roundups from the youtube, i would recommend starting here itll give u the cliff notes And the vibe. these were done in character, the anchor is a guy who exists in the blaseball universe, also later on they started to be Plot

sibr faq <- this will probably be more helpful but do the roundups first because itll throw u into the lore (and while im at it heres sibr aka the society for internet blaseball research but most of that will. probably be unintelligible. when stuff makes no sense consult the wiki. or ask a fan)

the wiki, where u can read about history and the players and teams and such

BEFORE <- this is where you can still to this day watch old games!!! i love u so much before thank you sibr for allowing me to relive the beautiful game that we are all love (sobbing crying throwing up)

the garages bandcamp <- by far the largest of the fan bands (though there was also the park park rangers and the hades tigers and the los angeli juxebox) there is so much music on here. the majority of it was made in the span of like a year and a half. i got music on there! i recommend starting with away games or blattle of the blands or reunion tour or one of the world tours, they have the widest variety of vibes and will help u learn about most of the teams (im not biased <- guy who has a couple songs in there)

theres also sites like reblase and blaseball-reference and such but those are just catalogues of old data i wouldnt think youd want to trawl thru those as much. theyre probably accessible via sibr anyway

also frankly just ask fans to tell you stories, go in the tag on here and just go in random peoples inboxes. youll pull up some fantastic stuff that way. blaseball was so active and alive and changing and no two people had the exact same experience of it. and god there will always be stories. we will always be telling stories

rest in violence blaseball. i will always love you and i will always miss you and it will never stop

[deafeninggardenerpanda]

i'd love to hear about manmaru metadede !!! i heard it's really Gay but no one ever details it. not a lot of it is translated too, as far as i know, but i really like it.. any excuse to talk about something you like is good too

NO YEA not a lot is translated and the manga itself is already more niche compared to like, mopupupu so its not too well known. translation efforts have really started picking up the past year though (shoutout to @/kirby-manga-translated they do great work). if it needed to be restated for new followers since i havent tl'd in a while, i know a decent amount of japanese so i read them on my own :)c

shoutout to my guy @/rosakikoza as well for giving me his scans hehe. the majority of images below are his or taken from his scans. the rest are mine

*deep breath* the tangent. im gonna need to put this under a cut dont mind me 😍😍😍 did i say 3 paragraphs? i meant 20. like 20 paragraphs

meta knight is absolutely pathetic and incredibly down bad for dedede this manga. its adorable. multiple people ive talked to or seen have come to the conclusion it seems like he has a huge crush on him. a quick brief for those who dont know but this mangas meta is admittedly Veryyyyy different from how you'd expect a meta knight to be. uncharacteristically friendly and cheerful and. pathetic is really the best word for it. hes kinda a loser. incredibly protective of dedede, he switches between two modes of fussing over him quite a bit and semi-often going into incredible rage bloodlust modes over protecting him or his image (youll see a good amount of jp fanwork depict this version of him as a yandere for that reason)

theres also been more than one occasion where meta knight tries to commit seppuku upon accidently doing something he sees as unforgivable towards his king (its in the chapter i just screenshotted above too, another time he broke dededes clock and freaked out about it). i-. dont consider this a cute ship thing for the record im just stating it to emphasize the extent of metas obsession towards dedede this manga. the mans got Problems...

apart from that, also quite differing from most interpretations of both of them, both of them seem to genuinely really like spending time around each other all the time. it comes off as casually domestic and is very cute...

regardless of my attempts to brief it, i dont feel like im explaining this very well so lemme just show you a frankly ridiculous amount of reasons for why i keep feeling like this mangaka ships metadede

-fake kiss: self explanatory

-fake proposal: also self explanatory

mk: Will you marry me!?

ddd: Yes!

context for this scene is that theyre rehearsing for a play, but actually its later revealed that meta knight is playing the princess while dedede is playing the male protag so im not exactly sure it makes sense that hes the one proposing here. my speculation is that to make the proposal seem legit for the gag they Had to use meta LMAO but thats just my take

also to be noted, right after kirby hears the proposal he immediately runs off and tries to tell everyone the news before ddd+mk stop him and explain that its fake. hes not thrown off or weirded out at the idea that they could be getting married in the slightest. kirby says gay rights Real i love him sm

-this one is from what i call the memory loss chapter:

dedede loses his memories from getting hit in the head too hard. the gang figures out that beating dedede up or otherwise causing him injury causes him to regain some of them back though, to which kirby attempts to harm him with increasingly violent means, much to meta knights horror. mk spends the entire chapter trying to protect dedede from him, and it doesnt work obviously, but after a particularly hard hit dedede remembers everyone again... except for meta knight. to which meta knight gets upset about and lets kirby lay into dedede for real. you see where people get the yandere personality from now right. i dont recall this trait coming out too often but ill talk more about it later

-the whole chapter thats a cinderella retelling with dedede and meta knight. also also self explanatory COME ON LOOK AT THIS ONE. LOOK AT IT.

mk: Y…You're…

ddd: Wow, he's so beautiful!! It's like I'm dreaming…!

-theres the mangaka chapter which is a more recent one

the gang makes manga for dedede. meta knight's manga is about how cool, brave, and heroic dedede is. mysteriously enough however the only thing hes good at is drawing dededes face and nothing else. the implications of this one drive me absolutely insane. is it supposed to imply that meta knight stares at his face all day?? admires his appearance??? he looks at him so much he basically has his face memorized????? HUH???????? theres no heterosexual explanation for this. acting like a teenager with a crush out here got damn

=various images im sharing out of context because they r cute

head pats. holding hands and reaching the goal together. peak.

KNIGHT DRESSUP FOR THE KNIGHT. AHAAHGH

ddd: Hoho, pretty spiffy don'cha think?

mk: Ohh!? It suits you!!

fellas is it gay to shout "OHH! META KNIGHT!!" with a dopey grin on your face upon being saved like a damsel in distress

sometimes meta knight acts domestic as fuck too. his copy abilities as he states are: cook! clean!! and sleep!!!

regarding my thoughts on their dynamic in this series overall, i think theyre absolutely adorable. meta knight emits dog energy in this one. eager golden retriever towards dedede, though dedede has his sweet moments towards meta knight too. (viewing it with a shipping lens just for this post ofc) while meta is the more active crusher, some of the stuff above seems to imply that dedede has feelings in return as well :') they just get along really well too its great. theres a different chapter where they perform as a comedy duo. theyve done plays in multiple chapters. its my hc for these versions of them that they love doing performances of all kinds together and do a lot of rehearsals and writing in their free time...

and the yandere stuff i feel like i should address as well. i try not to take some aspects Too seriously because its to be expected things are over emphasized for the sake of the joke with gag mangas. but oh man the man definitely has problems. he needs therapy. i tried to be transparent in listing those aspects as well so people can make their own conclusions on it But theres one more thing id like to mention regarding that

meta knights personality has been shifting to be different from what i listed, as of the most recent volume. my beloved forgotten land arc... a first for this series in that, while the chapters still retain their gag humor and dont take themselves that seriously, its a serialized story that mostly follows along with the game plot that lasts nearly the whole volume (as opposed to other game arcs in this manga being episodic stories, using the games as their theme rather than a full on setting). with the more serious tone of the serialized story, theres a frankly startling hint of character development i never wouldve expected from a gag manga at the end of it

kirby gets ko'd the first round of the meta knight cup so meta knight joins the meta knight cup instead. turns out when he does that the final boss of the cup is dedede. meta knight Really doesnt want to hurt dedede and so dedede promptly kicks his ass without a second thought and wins the tournament. while the crowd cheers for dedede's victory, meta and dedede have a small talk where dedede tells him he doesnt need to fuss so much about hurting him/him getting hurt. presumably this is supposed to mark the end of meta knights intense overprotectiveness because (its never been clear-cut due to the nature of the manga previously, so its a lil hard to say) dededes shown he can handle himself, or like, isnt some fragile thing. i really hope itll stick around because i think its a great addition to both of their characters. the meta-knights have also been appearing way more frequently as of very recent chapters (ones that havent been compiled into a volume yet) which seem to also hint to meta knight getting more independence to his character from dedede's loyal servant. im very excited to see where it goes :D

and like, last last disclaimer if anyone needed it; even tho i love metadede and i like to see things through ship glasses sometimes i absolutely try my best to keep my biases out of my translations. putting out accurate translations means a lot to me! this entire post is me purposely putting the ship glasses on so please dont take it as "omg metadede is canon in this manga". you know way back when i was the only active translator for this manga someone tweeted at the mangaka on twitter mentioning that there were english translations around and he replied to that person. didnt respond to the fan translation thing specifically but the fact that he could know who i am definitely kinda terrifies me. if anyone goes around saying that his manga is the metadede manga because of me and he even has the slightest sliver of a chance of seeing that i will kill yall fr LOL

[jadeoru]

its suicide prevention month now and i just wanted to remind everyone to check in on your loved ones, friends, etc. you never know what someone’s going through. they might seem like the happiest person ever, but that doesnt mean they cant be struggling with depression and/or suicidal thoughts. you cant read minds; youll never know exactly what someone’s going through if they dont tell you. dont hesitate to ask. you never know when you might save someones life.

if you feel suicidal, or are struggling mentally in any way, speak up. talk to someone you trust about your feelings. even if they cant immediately end the pain, letting someone know how you feel is always worth it. if youre scared to speak up, please know that there will always be someone out there who will listen to you, whether that be a friend, family member, etc. i cannot stress enough how helpful it is to reach out about your struggles. a problem shared is a problem halved.

if you really dont trust anyone, thats totally understandable. there are always solutions: you can always contact a hotline anonymously for example.

my dm’s are open if anyone ever needs someone to talk to <3

appreciate the gift that is waking up every morning. do things that make you happy, take breaks if it gets too much. listen to your body, and take care of it. you only get one life, and one body that comes with it, so try your best to enjoy it.💕

thank you for surviving. if no one’s told you this before, im proud of you.

[lipglossanon]

I had sent a while ago a message about Las Plagas! Leon and pheromone perfume (those were literally the only words I sent) but my brain is still stuck on it. Leon coming home from Spain, thinking everything is fine, that there was no lasting damages from Las Plagas, that Luis’ machine worked perfectly. He’s feeling a bit more angry at things he usually would let slide off his back, but that could be the trauma talking. He’s a bit more sensitive to smell and lights, but he figures he’s either overstimulated or that he got a minor concussion at some point, so it doesn’t worry him. What /does/ start to worry him is the uptick in thoughts he’s been having about you. He’s been in love with you for a long ass time, probably longer than his emotionally constipated ass realized, and youve always drove him wild. But now, it feels all-consuming. Every thought seems to connect back to you in some way- and I mean every thought. When he is eating, he thinks about you and if you are properly eating, if he should learn to cook better (I headcannon that Leon is a terrible cook. Like just barely good enough to make scrambled eggs) so that he can make sure your fed properly, what diet is best for fertility -wait, what? Then he goes to get dressed, and he’s thinking what clothes you like, what would make you attracted to him, what would be easiest for you to tear off him so he can breed you- he’s got to get his hormones under control!

It continues like this all day: when he wins a spar, he’s thinking how impressed you’d be at how well he can protect you, when he reads his emails he wonders if you’re doing the same and how he could provide for you so you’d never have to read one again if you hate it. It’s been a week since he’s been back, and he’s seen you a few times since this madness started (and has to hide his hard cock every time he sees you or smells your scent. He’ll never admit to jacking off while face deep in the shirt he wore when you hugged him. He also will never admit to then humping said shirt to get the scent of you on his dick). But today you’re coming over and you said you got a new perfume and you wanted to see if it he liked it since he said scents were bothering him more lately (his heart warmed at the thought of you changing your perfume just to make him more comfortable. His dick also harden at the sweetness of it but he doesn’t want to acknowledge just how desperate and pathetic that makes him feel). The only problem? Your new perfume says that it’s also pheromone based. You didn’t notice/care, since you figured that was a bullshit selling point, but the scent was nice and lighter than all the others you smelt, and honestly you were getting a headache from all the smells so you just went with it. And for a normal person, thatd be it. The pheromones really wouldn’t have any impact whatsoever. But Leon isn’t normal, not anymore, not after Las Plagas.

So you walk to Leon’s door and knock, and he’s already tucking his dick up into his waistband because the thought of you in his territory, no den, fuck no, home- where you’ll smell like him and get his space to smell like you is making his dick leak precum. And when he opens the door, smells you with higher pheromones, smells just how perfect you are, something in his brain just snaps and tells him that your perfect little cunt would feel like home for his fat dick and all the cum in his balls <3 he whines desperately with just the smell, making you worried. You walk into his house, and you put a hand on his arm in concern, wondering what’s going on, only for Leon to let out the most pathetic and panty ruining moan you’ve ever heard. Just a single touch from you and he’s no longer thinking with his big brain, it’s his dick (and the Las Plagas) talking now. And boy do they talk.

“Please, fuck, smell so good. Need it, need it, need you. Please please, I’ll do anything, just lemme, lemme, fuck nngh, want that pussy, wanna breed you, know youll take it s’good, take it so good for me, be the best mommy f’me. Uh-huh, you’ll be the best, cunts gotta be perfect, gotta be s’wet and sweet and pretty. Perfect lil mate. Lemme breed you, lemme make you a mommy, do anything for you, ‘m the best mate for ya, can protect, can breed, just lemme show you”

Depending on how far down the monster fuckjng rabbit hole you want to go, you can either just have him cum loads that would put a firehouse to shame every time he cums, or having him cum both semen AND some eggs. All I know is that Leon loves you, and wants you to be his perfect little mate as he traps you anywhere and everywhere as he breeds you until he has nothing left to give 🥰

Much love, 🐶 anon

🐶 anon!!!! 😩 😩

You’re a gem , a complete an utter Diamond in my inbox every time I see one of yours asks!! 💜 💜

Yes 👏 to all of this!! 😤😤

He’s so unhinged and just babbling what sounds like nonsense but you can’t think with your legs tossed over his shoulders as he fucks you dumb on his cock 🥴

Like I’m definitely okay with monsterfucking 🤭 god and you’d be so full of cum and eggs that Leon’s going crazy with how much he loves stuffing you full 🥵 🥵

Bless you 🐶 anon 🙏

[ilovechubbieguys]

hiii omg just found your account, so happy to see more tgc fanfiction ((ive read every single one of them at this point 😭)) soo could i request some nick/yumi fluff or smut? thank yououou 🦭

Omg same man i made this because i read them all so i might as well make my own lmao! Very happy to do one for yumi and nick!! (First smut sorry if its a little off lol) 🦭

Nick & yumi fluff/smut hcn!

-smut and fluff for each, gn! Reader. Use of f! Body parts. White=fluff red=smut

-----------------------♧♤------------------------

Nick

♧- love language is definitely quality time ex: just sitting and watching tv or going to the mall

♧- baby, love, and babe user for sure

♧- loves loves loves to hold your hand and in the car when he drives (which is almost always) he always has a hand on your thigh

♧- so sweet and caring. Very good listener and always listens to you rant about your day or any thing that ever slightly upset you

♧- if your a hyoer person he keeps you from doing dumb crap that youll regret later

♧- if your a calm person theres alot of cuddling he always wants to be big spoon

♧- about 5 months into your relationship he made a song for you and it was the cutest thing ever

♧- i feel like if your on a late night drive with him on an empty road he likes to speed just for the fun of it

♧- rolls down the windows and lets you stick your hand out while he speeds down an empty highway

----------------

♧- 6in and gurthy

♧- totally a service dom "i know baby" "your taking me so good baby"

♧- some days its slow "i missed you so much" thrusts with kisses all over your body

♧- other days its fast and rough "ive needed this all day" thrusts with hickeys and bite marks all over

♧- hes normally pretty soft and slow but if you decide to be a tease that day hes now holding back "fuck.. you just couldnt fuckin..wait could you..huh?"

♧- doggy style because he loves to see you bent over for him

♧- and missionary because he loves to be able to see your face and have access to every inch of you

♧- he secretly loves when you sneak under his desk while hes playing siege or cod and help him out

♧- " yumi i got a guy on m-me.." "you good man?" "Ya im good sorry i think i gonna get off i dont feel the best" "alr man get better"

♧- prepare to not be able to walk for alteast 2 weeks for that

---------------------------------------------------

Yumi

♤- late night smoke sessions are a common thing. You guys just talk about everything and anything or you enjog echother presence in silence

♤- Dance was made about you 😧

♤- babe kinda guy change my mind, baby when hes tired or comforting you

♤- loves sleeping in with you, when you try and either get up or get him up he pulls you back in "5 more minutes.."

♤- 5 minutes normally turms into atleast another hour

♤- convinced you to join LTLVC to motivate him to stay in or incase another pc incident happened

♤- loves when you watch him play video games or making a video

♤- his favorite thing is when you lay on his chest while he scrolls threw tiktok or insta

♤- if you guys where together when he made Lost he would always want you with him at the recording studio

♤- constantly asking what you thought

♤- they type of guy to always have his arm around your waist. Especially likes to come behind you and wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek

-----------------------

♤- 7 in and curved

♤- pretty vanilla guy, but for a little lets pretend he's not as vanilla as he is 😮‍💨(still love you, man)

♤- riding and spooning are his fav positions for sure

♤- not very vocal, but a lot of grunting

♤- giving and receiving head is godly to him

♤- "fuck.." "god." "Your so fucking pretty"

♤- high sex goes crazy with him. He's still smoking a blunt while you ride him every now and then, taking a hit yourself

♤- holds you pretty rough if you're riding him, normally rutting his own hips into you, especially if you're close

♤- eats you out till your heavy breathing, tears are running down your face, you can't form real sentences, till your legs are shaking

♤- oh u need him now? Ur alreadt bent over the nearest counter, in the car? Why not. In the shower? Done. At the mall? Family bathroom it is.

♤- uses the fact hes alot bigger then you to him advantage, manhandling, and holding your hands down

---------------------------------------------------

For my first smut, i think it's ok lmao. Lmk what yall, though, what i should improve and change. Thanks for requesting! :3

[thatboneyfella]

best places to find ethically sourced bones-

railroad tracks:

- be careful doing this, parts of these (at least in my area) are considered private property, however parts are not, and it can be difficult to tell which parts are and which are not. look out for signs. also dangerous. stay off to the sides at all times and do NOT cross the tracks, for any reason, unless at an assigned crossing- during the allotted time period. trains will not stop for you, they are not able to do that- and sometimes they may not even see you. be constantly looking over your shoulder and read up more on railroad safety. however- many animals get caught in the tracks and are hit by trains, or simply their bones can be found by the side of the tracks, so this makes it quite a great place to find many bones.

near bodies of water:

-my favourite body of water is along the riverside. this is a great place to find many fish bones, as well as the bones of the animals who come to find the fish. fisherman also may discard fish off on the riverside if they are not happy with what they have caught. just be careful not to be in a metropark! overall not super dangerous, and a great place to find bones, but limited on the types youll find.

rubbish piles:

-this one typically finds racoons, opossums, rats, mice, dogs, cats, and other animals of the sort. but that gives a pretty good range. be careful of the live animals youre bound to find rummaging round in there though. you can usually find whole skeletons, and theyre usually already cleaned really well (of the flesh) because of the, again, live animals. clean them extra well because of the diseases these animals carry while being in these environments. overall, another excellent option for different varieties of bones.

state parks:

-this one is iffy, it depends entirely on which state park, and what the individual rules are. some state parks allow you to scavenge things like mushrooms, and hunt, which doesn't explicitly state, but obviously would include bones. however some do not. but if they do, take full advantage of it, its an incredible opportunity, and even take advantage of all being able to use the hunters at your disposal (for information only of course), which brings me to the last location on my list.

dumping sites:

-my personal favourite, dumping sites are where hunters discard parts/carcasses they do not have need or want for. bones are typically among these parts, thus making it peak scavenging grounds for anyone looking for bones! one downside however is that they can be quite tricky to find, and can typically only be found by actually asking around a group of hunters to find out which dumping site the majority of them use. but when you find one oh boy, its all worth it, so many different types of bones, so many different animals, so many different sizes, its everything you could ever want, or ask for. so take the chance and ask around. its worth it. trust me.

next up; fossils?

[stateswscarlet]

i want to manifest my desired face whenever i dont see a movement i go crazy and the cycle starts again, i just wanna get my df but im tired of this cycle i always go back and nothing happens, i feel like all that thing is waste of time but at the same time ik its true cuz i've manifested a lot of things. but whenever it comes to my df i cant stop wanting it and after fulfilling myself i feel like it's done, but after 10 mins it happens again. i start to get mad at 3d again and its just so .. i cried becaus i want my df and 3d makes me crazy. i feel like nothing happens im so desperate i dont wanna read 823823 loa posts anymore i just want to be pretty as like others. i hate that feeling of 'trying so hard' hope u answer

<3

this genuinely makes my heart hurt :(

this is what i told another anon:

“unrelated, idk what youre desiring to change about your face but make sure you’re approaching it from love and not hating/disliking your current self. it makes me so sad whenever people tell me theyre manifesting a whole new face thinking itll make them happy, prettier, attention from people, etc and it wont at all. changes starts within and you are more than worthy of being just the way you are and treating yourself with love and compassion.”

please understand that “getting” a physical change will never ever ever ever take away your insecurities or make you happier, fulfilled, nor will it make you feel pretty from the inside. literally look at all the supermodels and stars who are drop dead gorgeous who we pine after who are incredibly insecure and are constantly hyperaware of their insecurities and flaws.

PLEASE i beg you the best thing you can do for yourself is practice self love RIGHT NOW the way you are. stop waiting for some ideal face before you chose to love yourself, as that day will never come. you will find more and more reasons to feel insecure and upset at the 3D and be running in an endless cycle “manifesting” things to change but you’ll never be satisfied.

you need to remove your dependence from the 3D/outer world by understanding it can never give you anything. go within and instead of focusing so much on your face changing focus instead on the feelings of being secure, safe, etc regardless. stop chasing shallow things like pretty privilege and attention and anything else you THINK your df will give you (spoiler: it wont give you any of that).

coming from someone who isn’t conventionally attractive and used to hate herself and her looks, it is SO important to love yourself and accept yourself the way you are first before expecting others to do that. i learned to love myself exactly the way i am. my inner shift changed my attitude and how i viewed myself which led to others reflecting that. i started getting attention, pretty privilege, etc (which now i know are just shallow things) without a single physical change.

i really hope you understand where im coming from anon. its not that you cant have your df, but if youre unable to love yourself right now you wont be able to love yourself with your df bc youll find a million other reasons not to. once you remove this from the pedestal you have it on (thinking itll make you pretty, etc) it will be much easier to focus on the feelings of security and anything else you desire.

[angelsprettycool]

The WORST movie I have ever seen

review/other random stuff

'spoilers' under cut!!

Ive seen this movie around, and i decided: fuck it, why not...which was a horrible...horrible decision.

the first thing youll notice is the HORRIBLE. animation. it is beyond ugly. the best way I can explain it is old shitty newgrounds animations.

The jokes are SO BAD. its basicly all just shock humor, and just a shit ton of sex jokes. its so bad. its constant. constant sex jokes. also jay gets R@PED?? FOR LIKE NO REASON???WHY?

also there is just so..so many fart jokes. its bad. theres also jokes that just..do not make sense and are not funny at all.

theres a lot of really weird audio clips and stuff they use. at one point dante speaks, and i garentee they just recorded it from clerks. it sounds so out of place.

ALSO THEY MENTION BRONIES??? WHAT?? they also say that tara strong voices 2 of the characters, but they sound NOTHING. like her, rather it just sounds like a horrible impersonator.

on the topic of people in the movie, RAY WILLIAM JOHNSON IS IN THE MOVIE. WHY??? I DONT KNOW.

also. i never think this has been said before but: there is WAY to many scenes where the characters are just..m@sturbating..???

also one of the villans is killed by walking into a gay bar??

theres a strange amount of just racist jokes in this?

JAY JUST BRUTALLY MURDERS A GUY?

JAY IS ALSO JUST..HELD AT GUN POINT?? AS HE CRIES?? (jay can NOT catch a break a swear to god)

I honestly have no idea how this dumpsterfire of a film got made. its not so bad its good-its just bad. this film made me have to pause it and just sit and question why. why the hell was i watching this.

i have very limited things I enjoyed about this movie, but there are a few:

the facial expressions the characters made at some points were really dumb and funny

there were also some just WILD quotes from this movie, that i WISH i could put on here but i am conviced this post will be taken down

my overall rating of this movie 1/10

thanks for reading my review, full of horrible spelling mistakes, and grammer! i dont normally do stuff like this but this movie pissed me off.

Anyways, some funny screenshots i took:

[dmercer91]

please do more john gibson hcs!!!

inevitability au headcanons (2), jg36

send in asks for this au so i can give reader hobbies and a background pls!! i love them

you and jamie get along really well and when gib sees the two of you speaking through looks and giggling with each other like school girls he swoons

just seeing it puts him so at ease especially because he kept you private for so long

sometimes you get excited when you’re deep diving into your own lore

you cannot keep one plot point straight for the life of you so you babble on and on about random things

on second you’re talking about your first part time job and suddenly you’re talking about your next door neighbour from childhood and her badass cookies

john is so so enamoured

he loves that you’re comfortable word vomiting to him and he loves to hear about your life before you met

he’s much more tame telling you childhood stories but you listen intently 

youll be curled up in his lap while he talks and his voice is so calming to you

it’s like you’re tipsy on each others vibes

you two will dance in the kitchen after too much wine

he loves it when you get wine drunk cause you tend to get very flirty and very touchy

the first time it happened you spent a solid chunk of time just tracing his biceps and v line accompanied with too many jaw kisses

so that dancing turns into you getting backed into the counter

and then sitting on top of the counter

and then a hefty make out

gib notices that if there’s baking supplies in stock at his house then you’ll name something while he’s at practice

so obviously he raids the baking section at his local grocery store so that 1. you’re not bored and 2. you’ll feed him the best brownies that have ever graced his mouth

you brought some with you to a practice once and now you’re periodically met with trevor (sometimes w jamie) at your front door so you’ll bake him something 

john hates it because those are supposed to be his baked goods and trevor is a hog

he’s better if jamie tags along because they even each other out, also because of how the two of you click

it’s a long night after trevor leaves

john does not like to share, especially not when it comes to you, and trevor does a great job at shamelessly (and badly) flirting with you just to piss of his teammate 

it’s unreciprocated, but john truly despises that he was even in the room with you

so of course

he sits you in his lap and disturbs your pre-bedtime reading with kisses to your shoulders and neck

and you ignore him so he ups his game and messes with the waistband of your panties

his last ditch attempt consists of him faking offence, trying to get you to bite

“what? trevor give you enough attention? you’re sated for the night?”

you close your book and glare at him, he’s grinning like an idiot

“c’mere. want you so loud he can hear you back home”

he delivers well enough to make that wish come true, within reason

you’ve had to resort to quickies at the practice facility cause sometimes he decides he’s had enough of you talking to other wags or teammates or staff

cause he’s been so used to having you a secret that it’s weird to not have your undivided attention

maybe it’s toxic

maybe it’s hot

maybe it’s both in a jumbled mess of too much to unpack, but you don’t mind him wanting you all to himself

i don’t think i talked about foreplay in the first part (?)

but

he loves having you sit on his face

more than anything in the world other than you yourself

in the beginning you’re afraid to hurt him, but once after one of those infamous ‘million saves! but we still lost lmao’ games he practically laid down and dragged your thighs around his head and went on for as long as you could handle

“j.. j, thats enough, i can’t,” he loosens his grip and when you pull away to sit on his chest his mouth and chin are soaked and his eyes are dark

he loves to fuck your face

an unusual amount

he slowly but surely trains your mouth for him and it is 100% the best time investment he’s ever made

he likes a hand job on days when he’s just letting you have your fun with foreplay

if he’s moody you usually don’t get to touch him until he’s buried to the hilt

when you first get together you surprise him with starting on the pill so you were comfortable without a condom

and eventually he slowly starts trying to convince you to wean off

it’s totally not at all cause he sees you bouncing a teammates toddler on your lap and cooing at them and thinks he needs to see it every day of his life

“can you stop by the pharmacy on your way home from practice? my sugar pills start tomorrow,” “you’re always complaining that they make you feel sick, baby,”

he wraps his arms around you and you smile to yourself

you catch onto what he’s doing way before you lead onto knowing

cause if you say you know what he’s hinting at without giving him a hard no he’ll get a million times worse

and then you finally agree

when you shoot out your last pack he wants to throw a party

“you know that means my period’s gonna start soon, right?” “way to kill the mood,”

king of dirty talk suddenly turns into god of dirty talk

if he’s coming there will not be a single drop of it not going inside you

he used to eat you out after coming, and now? you warm him for as long as possible

you don’t successfully get pregnant for a long, long time after the discovery of some fertility issues

you feel so much guilt cause you know how excited he was and he makes sure that you know he would never blame you