in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!
they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.
they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.
you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.
but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.
where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.
and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?
doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.
but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.
what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.
just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?
your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.
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— “i’m home,” hajime calls from downstairs. you glance at the clock as you put your book down, sliding your feet into your slippers. “welcome back,” you reply, plodding down the stairs with a yawn. “long game?”
he runs his hands through his hair tiredly as he leans his elbows on the kitchen counter. “like you wouldn’t believe.” you frown, and wrap your arms around his waist from behind. “there’s leftovers in the fridge. i’ll make you a bath while you eat?” you ask, patting his hip.
hajime groans softly, his hands on his face. “that sounds great,” he murmurs. “sorry i came home late again.” “s’okay,” you assure him, rubbing his back. “i’ll wash your hair, too.”
you sit outside of the bathtub on a stool, lathering his shampoo in your hands as he leans his head back. “lean forward just a bit, my love,” you urge. he complies, letting you run your fingers through his hair in a comfortable silence.
he takes a deep, ragged breath as your hands move to massage the knots in his back and shoulders. you furrow your brows in concern. “does that hurt?” you can see the bump of his spine as he leans his head forward. “no,” he mumbles, and he relaxes, letting out a shuddering exhale. “no. feels nice.”
after a few quiet moments, you press a small kiss between his shoulder blades. “love you forever, haji.”
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I'm having one of those reading experiences where the fic i'm reading is so perfectly crafted, well paced, with rounded characterisation and full of prose you can just sigh at - and I think, this is better than a lot most of the published guff that's on the shelves right now, that people expect me to actually pay for.
I've said it before - this fandom has some of the most talented bloody writers i've ever come across in my long (i'm pretty old) life. I can't believe I wasted so much time reading such sub-par literature when this was out there. I have a lot to be thankful for, getting into the GO fandom, but one of the biggest gifts it's given me is the endless source of fabulous reading material on AO3.
You are all bloody brilliant, honestly.
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At some point in your life, there will be a moment where exactly - or near exactly - half the people in the world are younger than you, and half the people are older.
And I think that moment should be the one your soulmate Mark appears at, not at birth or puberty or something. Both because at birth is kind of boring but it's also very you-centric and soulmates are about the thing outside of you being a part of you, and I think it would be nice to include The World.
But also I think it would have fascinating implications for scientific and social studies. Longevity trends tracked by the average age soul marks appear. Tragedies causing a rash of recent marks to disappear (because the people are no longer the middle). Marks appearing early during baby booms.
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Combining the boys’ abilities (and I mean actual combining not just using them at the same time) because I was thinking about it and wow they’re kinda cracked actually-
[ cw: death mention / def not for them though 💀]
Raph & Mikey: infinite clones (aka unbeatable) + strength completely unparalleled + infinite cloned chains + the clones are very fast and can fly + potentially reverse any damage on main shield clones or even damage in general
Mikey & Donnie: constructs that also can last much longer than usual possibly forever + potential future vision + every single cable or wire or anything of that sort has the potential to be taken over akin to Mikey’s chains + full telekinesis
Donnie & Leo: pinpoint portal/teleportation themselves or constructs just by knowing where to aim (aka instadeath for any enemy if used right) + telepathy
Leo & Raph: teleporting clones who can grow or shrink at will (which can also be instadeath like above if used right) + said clones can also act as homing spots to switch places with + potentially swap damage taken to clones
Raph & Donnie: they literally can make Voltron, but more than one + basically impossible to destroy shields + constructs can also be cloned
Mikey & Leo: freezing time and being able to move during it + heat death of the universe + “oops hey it’s other alternate iterations of us???” + this is a time and space team up you’re not winning this-
Basically any combo is an instant “you win.” I wanna go further into these combos later and maybe even add or subtract as I think more on it because there’s so many I left out and I can always extrapolate on and explain these ones more, but this was fun and these boys have terrifying powers even without combining them all together.
Seriously, should each of them train these abilities to the best they can be, there is no beating them even if they’re alone.
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