#the best anime of spring 2023

[ecargmura]

When You Become Your Idol Bias's Child - Oshi No Ko Anime Review

Everyone and their dogs have been hyping up Oshi no Ko since it’s anime adaptation announcement. I was also curious on what the hype was, so when the first episode was released, I sat down and watched the episode. I was blown away.

The anime centers around the Japanese entertainment industry. I’m not too familiar with how the Japanese entertainment industry works, but I grew up watching Korean entertainment. While every entertainment industry may seem ritzy and glam, that’s only a front to the cesspool of darkness buried deep within. Every entertainment industry is dark.

The animation is beautiful, honestly. Doga Kobo is an underrated anime studio. Their animation quality has improved a lot; if you’re unfamiliar with them, they’re the studio that animated the perfection that is Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun. I love the choice of colors that the studio uses to make the animation pop out. The way they color the characters’ eyes is pure quality.

The music is great. The opening, Idol, is THE anime song of the season and possibly the year. It’s super addicting and it’s one of the rare times I do not skip openings. It’s just that good. The ending song is good too! However, other than that, I do feel like the OST is a bit forgettable. I don’t remember the songs used in the anime other than the opening and ending.

The writing of Oshi no Ko highlights that immaculately. The story is about Ai Hoshino a sixteen year old idol who takes a hiatus and goes to a hospital where a male gynecologist named Goro resides. It turns out that Goro is a fan of Ai and got into stanning idols after a patient died. While he was shocked that his bias is pregnant, he becomes supportive and promises her to help her give birth naturally and not caesarian. One day, Ai gets into labor, and her stalker actually follows Goro to an isolated area in the forest and murders him by pushing him off a ledge. When he awakes, he finds himself inside the body of Ai’s son, Aquamarine Hoshino (Yes, that’s his actual name). However, there’s another person who got reincarnated as his twin sister Ruby Hoshino; it’s Goro’s patient Sarina who was a fan of Ai’s before her death.

The early years of the Hoshino family was cute, honestly. Ai was charming. Aqua and Ruby were hilarious kids; they have no clue what’s going on with their new lives, but they were just trying their best to live. Because they were reincarnated, they behave much differently from normal babies as they can already walk and talk. I always wondered why no one ever pointed out how different Ai’s babies were from other kids. Like, Ruby was already knowing how to use Twitter and talking about “virgin birth” while Aqua read thick books meant for adults when he was around 2 or 3 years old. People have commented on it via gossip and baby Aqua uses Youtube as an excuse of his precociousness and people buy that. I guess it’s just Japanese culture to not stick your nose into people’s business.

Ai’s death was pretty shocking in itself. I didn’t expect it to be so sudden. She didn’t even reach twenty years old before her death. How unfortunate. I think what hit the feels the most is the fact that, throughout episode 1, Ai never once said that she loves her kids. While she  has strong affection for them, she’s unsure what love is. Love and lies are a big theme in this story. While her name is Ai, it has several meaning. The most common meaning is “Love”, however Ai’s name is written in katakana. There could be two meanings why it’s in Katakana, which usually associates with a loan word. It could stand for “I” as in the pronoun, but I think it most likely stands for “Idol” since idol is pronounced as “A—i—do—ru” in Japanese. Ai says I love you to her kids the first and last time before her death and realizes that her love for them were genuine. I know that Ai’s death comes as unfortunate for some fans and viewers, but it’s the point of the show.

The show is about the darkness of the entertainment industry and how Ai was a victim of said darkness. Because of that, Aqua got dipped into the darkness at about the age of four and sought revenge against Ai’s true killer as he realized someone had sent the stalker behind the scenes. I kind of like how the narrative splits between the two main protagonists. Aqua’s path is how the industry’s darkness can affect anyone; it has affected him to the point that he’s becoming a product of said darkness with his desire for vengeance and the way he’d use anyone to achieve that goal. Ruby represents the flowery, glamorous portion of the industry. Note how Ruby wasn’t fully present during Ai’s death due to her being locked out behind the door that she was leaning against. While Ai’s death has affected Ruby as much as Aqua, she still walks a path of light because of her strong desire to uphold her mom’s legacy and to become an idol as great as her.

Aqua and Ruby are the MCs of this story, but I feel like Ruby doesn’t get enough screen time, which is why I feel like she’s the weakest part of the anime so far. This anime is mainly Aqua diving into each possible plot point that can give him a clue to Ai’s true killer. Ai is the catalyst, Aqua is the driving force and Ruby is just exposition. Exposition is good for the readers, but I feel like that role diminishes later on as Kana comes into the picture as she’s more aware of the industry than Ruby. Since Season 2 has been announced, I do hope Ruby gets more screen time.

Because this is a character-driven drama story, the characters are the prime focus. In addition to the twins, there are a plethora of supporting characters who help them with their goals. We first have Miyako and Ichigo. Ichigo is the CEO of Strawberry Productions and Miyako’s husband. He’s the one who recruited Ai into becoming an idol and formed B-Komachi. Miyako wasn’t thrilled about her marriage at first and was even forced to babysit the twins; she only got married to Ichigo because she wanted to meet hot guys. Eventually, she warms up to the twins to the point that she actually adopts them as her kids after Ai’s death and her husband’s disappearance. While Ichigo and Miyako are important figures in Ai’s life, I feel like Ichigo disappearing kind of makes him look bad. Miyako pretty much kept everything afloat since the incident. I was surprised how much she changed after caring for the twins. Miyako is a neutral character who knows about the darkness of the entertainment world but isn’t innocent to get tainted. She’s kind of like mission control of the story as she’s the one who gets Aqua gigs and forms the new B-Komachi for Ruby with the help of Aqua who recruits two members.

The first of the two he recruits is my favorite character and THE scene stealer of the entire show, Kana Arima! Kana is a character who was considered a genius child actress (not a baking soda licker) but eventually lost the spotlight as she got older. Her story is basically the dark path child actors face when they get older. It’s a very harsh world. People once thought Kana was astounding and she had so many jobs as a child, but when she got older, nobody wanted her anymore. People even believed she was past her prime since the child Kana they all wanted was gone and that no one wanted the teen Kana. The last episode of this season reveals that Kana’s issues comes from the fact that she feels like she won’t be complete unless someone needs her, which shows how much psychological damage the industry can have on a child.

Kana is a character who wants to look for light in her darkness and eventually sees it in Aqua despite him drowning in darkness. I think what makes Kana so compelling is the fact that she cares more about being used for her talents and not past fame and such. She wants to be acknowledged as a good actress and not someone who used to be a child actress. Even if her gigs are bad (the drama she was in was SO cringe, especially with the way the male actor was acting).

Kana is a perfectionist and harshly criticizes herself when something doesn’t go right in her eyes. I can relate to her a lot; while I am not an actress, I can relate when it comes to writing. I used to write fanfic. One fan fiction in particular had a lot good reviews, but the popularity scared me, so I stopped fan fiction writing to focus on original works. When I changed paths, I felt like my writing wasn’t as good as it was when I wrote fan fiction and it made me wonder if this was the path for me at times. The fact that Kana went through a lot just to survive because she does love acting from the bottom of her heart speaks a lot for me. I’m glad that she took Aqua’s offer into becoming an idol because idols get a lot of gigs from singing to acting. I’m sure more opportunities will come for her the more she enjoys her idol life. Though, I do feel bad for her because her crush on Aqua’s very complicated as she likes him, but his feelings are ambiguous at best because he clearly doesn’t want to be in a relationship as he’s too fixated on revenge, but he does have a soft spot for her that’s different from his soft spot towards his sister.

The second idol that Aqua recruits for B-Komachi is Mem-cho. Mem-cho is a YouTuber known for her bubbly personality. She was on the same reality dating show Aqua was on and told him about how she wanted to be an idol at first but her lost her chance and resorted to becoming a YouTuber. While she does grab onto her idol dream after Aqua makes an offer, it turns out that she’s been lying about her age. While she poses as an 18 year old, she’s actually 25. In the idol industry, they value youthful girls above all. Anyone past 20 is considered too old for an idol. I know it’s cruel to think like that, but that’s how Japan’s idol system works. While 20+ year old idol debuts are common in Korea, it’s different for Japanese standards as they value youth. Mem-cho’s issues is very realistic and I like that. However, I do wish that Mem-cho got more screen time as a character and not as the cute background character. I hope Season 2 changes that.

In the same reality show that Aqua and Mem-cho are a part of lies another important supporting character, Akane Kurokawa. Akane is a passionate theater actress who’s considered a genius in her theater troupe, Lala Lai. However, even if she’s considered great in her theater world, she’s anything but in the filming world. She has no presence, which means no screen time. When she tries to step up, she accidentally scratches Yuki’s face. This causes her to be dunked into cancel culture. Akane is a character who was basked in pure light but got forcibly pulled into the world of darkness because of cancel culture and cyberbullying.

There was a controversy that broke out in the real world regarding Akane’s cyberbullying case. After the airing of Episode 6, a complaint was filed. The filer turned out to be the mother of Hana Kimura. If you’re unaware, Hana Kimura was a MMA athlete who was on a reality show called Terrace House. She did some things that caused her to be targeted for cyberbullying. When it got too much for her to bear, she decided to take her own life at the young age of 23. While the events of the incidents seem similar, the author never officially confirmed if Akane’s story was based off of the late Ms. Kimura’s. However, because Mrs. Kimura, the mother, filed a complaint, there were people that started cyberbullying her. I don’t want to get into it too much, but you can watch The Anime Man’s video regarding this topic to get a bigger picture. Long story short, I stand by my claim of the entertainment industry being the darkness in people.

Because of the incident, the light she was basked in is no longer pure. While she does manage to come back, she’s definitely not the meek Akane Kurokawa from before; she’s an evolved Akane who is able to use her acting prowess and amazing analytical abilities to capture the essence of a person she does not know personally and do it in a way that the aloof Aqua manages to keel over for her. I’m amazed that Akane is able to do this. This makes Akane like a wildcard honestly. It’s unknown if she’s going to be someone who’s going on a dark path or if she’s going to go on a light path. Just please do not reduce her to someone who lacks agency around Aqua. PLEASE.

I do wish that there were more male character to balance out the female cast. I want to see more of Pieyon, the Director and more. Fortunately, it seems that there will be more males in next season. I want to see Aqua interact with male characters.

The last thing I want to talk about is the voice acting. The voice acting is good. My favorite female voice actress Megumi Han steals the show with her performance as best girl Kana. If you’re not familiar with Han’s roles, she voices Gon from Hunter x Hunter, Yamato from My Love Story!!, and Jill Warrick from Final Fantasy XVI. Her range is insane and it’s because of Kana that my love for Han’s acting increases day by day. Aqua and Ruby are voiced by Takeo Ohtsuka, whom I’m not too familiar with and  Yurie Igoma, who’s a complete rookie. I think they’re doing a great job with the twins. They make them sound distinct and not too basic. Rumi Okubo as Mem-cho fits her perfectly. Manami Iwakura as Akane shows off her acting prowess. If you’re not familiar with Iwakura’s roles, she voices Tohru Honda in the Fruits Basket remake. I’m familiar with her soft voice, but the way she is able to voice Akane the way she did in Episode 8 really proves that she is versatile. I want to see more roles of her. Rie Takahashi did super well as Ai. I think the best performance of this show has to go to Pieyon. His VA uses a high pitched duck voice for most of his appearances. Like, that’s not even his normal voice, so props to him for being able to produce such a voice.

Overall, I highly recommend watching this anime if you want to watch a dark show. I can see why it’s so popular now that I’ve finished all 11 episodes and thought about it. I will gladly buy the manga and read on ahead. I can definitely say that this is Spring 2023’s best show. Sorry, Demon Slayer. Oshi no Ko is just too good.

Also, did you know that there’s two meanings of Oshi no Ko? Oshi means bias, if you’re familiar with English idol lingo. Ko usually means child, but it’s also another way to say “person”. Oshi no Ko can either mean “My Bias’s Child” or “My Bias/My Favorite Star” in a contextual term.

I hope you enjoyed my review and please watch Oshi no Ko!

[y0uc4n7kn0w]

Best Anime of Spring 2023

It was a clear win. #anime #fandomfriday

Welcome back to…Fandom Friday! As you know it’s been quiet around the blog what with so much of life and other projects going on. But despite all that, I did manage to watch anime last season–perhaps not all I had set out to, but certainly enough. Now, the only problem was that…not a lot of them left that big of an impression on me. So, instead of doing a top five anime of the season (because…

[panmur]

anime

[makenna-made-this]

Oh this is so good I'm getting kinda emotional asdhflsda. I love the symbolism here. Changing with the seasons indeed

Bawktober day 6! Transition!

@makenna-made-this

[finnlongman]

About Me, My Books, and My Research (2024 Edition)

Hi, I'm Finn, a writer, medievalist, and all-round nerd. You may know me as the author of The Butterfly Assassin, "that person who wrote the trans Cú Chulainn article", the weird nerd in the Tumblr corner writing excessively long and incomprehensibly niche posts about their research, or something else entirely. I am all of those things! (Well, depending on what the 'something else' is, anyway...)

Currently, I'm a PhD student at the University of Cambridge researching friendship in the late Ulster Cycle (c. 12th-17th centuries). I have an MA in Early and Medieval Irish from University College Cork, and wrote my thesis about Láeg mac Ríangabra, my best beloved. I also have an undergrad degree in Anglo-Saxon, Norse and Celtic from Cambridge, and wrote my dissertation about queer readings of Táin Bó Cúailnge, including transmasculine readings of Cú Chulainn.

You can find out more about my research on my website, which also includes info about all of my academic publications. This includes the aforementioned "trans Cú Chulainn article", an article about Láeg in the Death of Cú Chulainn, an article about the seven Maines, and a discussion of a conference on Caoineadh Airt Uí Laoghaire from the perspective of my own work on lament and grief. Whenever possible, I try to make my research available Open Access. If you're ever having trouble finding one of my articles, please contact me!

If you want recommendations for books about medieval Irish (or Welsh) literature, this list on my Bookshop page has all my go-to recommendations. If you buy via this link, I earn a small commission at no extra cost to you, so this is a great way to support me.

I am also an author, and I write both YA and adult novels. Again, my website is the place to go for all the info and links, but a quick summary:

The Butterfly Assassin trilogy (The Butterfly Assassin, 2022; The Hummingbird Killer, 2023; Moth to a Flame, 2024): YA thrillers about a traumatised teenage assassin who is trying (and failing) to live a normal life in a fictional closed city in Yorkshire. Featuring friendship, street art, Esperanto, zero romance, and a whole lot of murder, as well as increasingly unsubtle commentary on the UK arms industry and the military recruitment of vulnerable teenagers.

The Wolf and His King (coming Spring 2025 from Gollancz): a queer retelling of 'Bisclavret' by Marie de France which uses werewolfism as a metaphor to explore chronic pain and illness. Also very much about yearning, exile, and the mortifying ordeal of being known.

The Animals We Became (coming 2026 from Gollancz): a queertrans retelling of the Fourth Branch of the Mabinogi looking at gender, compulsory heterosexuality, and trauma, through the medium of nonconsensual animal transformations.

To Run With The Hound (coming 2027 from Gollancz): my take on the Ulster Cycle, looking at why Táin Bó Cúailnge is a tragedy and what it means to be doomed by the narrative, but not in the way you thought you were. Featuring a lot of feelings about Cú Chulainn, Fer Diad, and Láeg.

You can find out more about my recently-announced medieval retellings in this blog post.

I generally tag personal posts and selfies as “#about the author”; other than that, I think I’m pretty straightforward with my tagging system.

I’m very happy to answer questions about medieval Irish lit, my research, or my books, or just generally to chat. Send questions via asks, chat via DMs, and if you're looking for my articles, you can email me at finn [at] finnlongman [dot] com, which is also the best way to contact me for professional enquiries, whether academic or fiction related.

You can also find me on Bluesky, on Instagram, and on YouTube, where I (infrequently) retell medieval Irish stories for a general audience with lots of sarcasm and hand gestures. Technically I'm still on Twitter, but I'm trying to leave.

And finally, if you’ve found my research interesting or just generally want to support me, I have a tip jar and am always immensely grateful when somebody helps me to fund my book-buying habits: http://ko-fi.com/fianaigecht. You can also tip me directly on Tumblr if you like. I’m also a Bookshop affiliate, and you can buy books from my recommendation lists to support me and get some great reads at the same time.

[servants-hall]

While Tristan's imminent return in All Creatures Great and Small season 5 is cause for celebration, Samuel West (Siegfried) has revealed that the man who left Skeldale to serve in the Royal Army Veterinary Corps is not the same man who returns.

"He's obviously changed," he explained. "And he's changed in ways that I don't fully understand. He's obviously seen some horrible things which he's not talking about. And he's obviously masking with drink and good humour."

West also went on to say that "Tristan’s war stories" make Siegfried feel "old and a bit out of touch", but it's not long before normal service resumes and the brothers realise they're still a solid duo.

"We can still trump a cantankerous old farmer, and that's a great satisfaction," he added. "But it's not the same geekery as Carmody (James Anthony-Rose) and Siegfried together, looking at droppings or playing cribbage."

Siegfried is "anticipating the difficulty" of Tristan (Callum Woodhouse) "getting along with Carmody", according to West, who has begun to settle in nicely, and was even given his room to sleep in by Siegfried in the 2023 Christmas special.

"They're two such different people," he added. "And of course, Tris being Tris, who is an almost immediately annoying person, despite the fact that I love him."

Woodhouse said he was "slightly daunted" returning to the show in case he felt "a bit out of the loop?".

"But my first day back was a full day in The Drovers, which is probably the best place to film Tristan's first scenes back," he said. "We did the morning and warmed into it, and then coming back after our lunch break it didn't feel like I'd been away at all to be honest.

"I just slotted back in so comfortably and so well and was having all of the same banter and jokes with all of the same cast and crew that's still with us from series one. It was just really lovely."

Season 5 of All Creatures Great and Small picks up in the spring of 1941.

Following his work looking after animals in Egypt, Tristan will be "training new recruits who are going to be getting sent out to similar places that he's been in".

Elsewhere, Helen (Rachel Sheton) has her hands full with baby Jimmy while James (Nicholas Ralph) is away at RAF Abingdon, and is also considering her "contribution within the community" as World War II ramps up, Siegfried is doing his best to keep the surgery ticking along, Mrs Hall takes up a brand new role, and "Carmody is eager to step up".

[ladyloveandjustice]

Spring 2023 Anime Overview: Yuri is my Job!

Premise: Hime Shiraki is a high schooler whose life goal is to be always cute and loved by everyone so she can achieve her dream of marrying a millionaire and living the easy life. Who cares if that means she has to lie and pretend? But then she’s roped into working at a café. The waitresses of the cafe playact as students from a fictional all girl’s school from a famous novel that focused on ‘romantic friendships’ between schoolgirls. (It’s a Class S yuri café basically. They put on a show that has the vibes and premise of Maria Watches Over Us for customers.)

Hime’s already great at acting, but she’s flummoxed by her co-worker Mitsuki. Mitsuki acts like a doting upperclassman when they’re in front of customers, but the second they’re off the clock, she’s harsh and cold to Hime. Hime is determined to make Mitsuki like her, but Mitsuki may be more than she appears…

At it's core, Yuri is My Job starts out seeming like a fun gay comedy boasting a cast full of quirky lesbians, but then reveals itself to be a complicated and fascinating examination of performance- as it intersects with queerness, girlhood, and the desire to be "likeable" and "cute," The girls at the cafe "perform" romantic friendships with each other- these friendships that they perform are uncomplicated, cute, and consumable to an audience. But the real relationships they have with each other are much less "safe" and much more complex, and the drama they deal with as real people often interferes with the "act".

Hime's entire life is about putting on a performance to seem likeable and acceptably cute to everyone, and she's terrified of seeing that performance fall to pieces. Mitsuki, in contrast, struggled as a child because she COULDN'T acceptably fake that "likeable" cuteness. She was too honest, too blunt and awkward, too "real". Most queer people know the stress of having to put on an act and hide your real self to be acceptable, and YIMJ explores this wonderfully with these characters.

It's not just Hime and Mitsuki,the rest of the cast struggles too. Kanoko is so invested in her role of "supportive best friend" and being the only one Hime drops the act around, she's also suppressing her real self and her real romantic feelings for Hime. As a result, she becomes possessive, jealous, and expresses her feelings in secretive, unhealthy ways. The irony is that she believes in order to access Hime's "real" self, she has to put on her own mask. She can't picture a life outside her role as pining best friend. The pining, obsessive (sometimes in just a mildly quirky way, sometimes not so much) lesbian best friend with an unrequited crush  is a well worn trope both in yuri and non-yuri anime-think Tomoyo from CCS- but YIMJ examines the trauma that comes with that and how suppressing a part of yourself to play a role might feed into that obsessive behavior.

Meanwhile. we have Sumika, who is VERY invested in the romantic friendships of the cafe, and had come to believe real romance is toxic and ruins the purity of those relationships. She panics when confronted with the reality of queerness and when she sees two coworkers enter a blatant queer relationship. Sumika's whole deal is maybe the most fascinating at all, and makes a lot of sense if you look at it as a critique of Class S, "pure" yuri, and the fucked up world of internalized lesbophobia.

In recent years, there's been more yuri critiquing the trappings of "Class S" yuri. Class S is yuri that straddles the line between 'friendship' and 'romance', typically taking place in an all-girl's school sealed off from the rest of society, with an either unspoken or spoken implication that the lesbianism is just a transient phase and all the girls will eventually renter the "real world" have to settle down and marry a man.

There's been some pushback against these ideas, obviously. Bloom into You, Run Away with me Girl and many other yuri examine how harmful  'just a phase' rhetoric is towards lesbians. Flip Flappers famously had the episode where the girls were caught in a creepy Class S school that led them on an endless cycle where nothing ever changed and the days were horribly repetitive. Yurikuma Arashi also gave it's (somewhat muddled) critique of Class S. And it's impossible to fully analyze Yuri is my Job without seeing the skillful critique of Class S that's woven into the narrative.

The trappings of class S aren't confined into the world of manga- the idea that lesbianism is just a phase, that girls expressing real romantic or sexual desire toward each other is toxic and sullies the purity of sisterhood, that it's okay to be a LITTLE gay with your gal pals but you can't cross that line!!!- all of that is part of the stigma real queer women struggle with and sometimes internalize.  So when we consider Sumika''s terror of actual "romance" invading the cafe and ruining the sisterhood, her ideas that romance must be toxic, her belief that the cafe is this safe space sealed off from the rest of the world where girls can be a little bit queer, but they musn't let the actual problems and messy realities of romance invade- it's not just a Class S critique, it's about a mindset most queer women are familiar with and have to struggle to unlearn. And seeing Sumika grapple with this makes her a very real and wonderfully realized character. And the manga will only continue to go further with those themes.

But Yuri is my Job doesn't just work as a nuanced examination of queerness- it's also a well told drama full of wonderfully fraught relationships. It's fun to see the growing romances and the sweet connections growing between the characters, as complicated as they are. The backstory reveal that explains the tension between Mitsuki and Hime is top tier drama and relationship writing, and there's also a good dose of comedy to keep viewers entertained. Watching this web of relationships become even more tangled, and discovering the baggage all the girls carry is a good (and sometime heartbreaking) time. They're well-done characters. If you enjoy fucked up girls and don't mind a touch of soapy melodrama, you're in for a treat. These girls are a MESS, but a fascinating one.

I should note that it's also very easy to read these characters as neurodivergent- Hime having to craft a "facade" just to socialize regularly, while Mitsuki very obviously struggles with social cues- well, Vrai wrote a whole article on this with their article What role are you playing? Communication, queerness and nerodivergence in Yuri is My Job, so I'll leave that to them.

Yes, Yuri is My Job has all this amazing nuance...and there's a half an episode where Mitsuki's boobs bounce a bunch. It contains multitudes. The episode does touch on both Hime's obvious fascination with what Mitsuki's packin' and the struggle big chested women face when just wearing normal clothes is seen a "lewd"- but YMMV on how it's resolved. They definitely centered Mitsuki's pain (and Hime's thirst), but also mined it for mild comedic fanservice, and the ending is more "we found a good compromise" than the pure "fuck people for sexualizing you in a normal outfit because you have big boobs, wear whatever you want" message that people might want.

I also saw a lot of people get frustrated with how hard everyone is on Hime in the early episodes when she's new to the job- this pretty much stops after episode 3 and the attitude toward her is fully explained, so please give this four episode watch to fully see if this show is for you. (But of course, if you don't like to see girls sometimes expressing attraction in suppressed, unhealthy ways (eSPECIALLY Kanoko), no matter how it's ultimately examined thematically, this isn't the show for you.)

Overall, the YIMJ anime was a faithful adaptation of a wonderful manga- unfortunately, I worry that we'll never get the season two that gives us some of the best moments of the story so far. But hopefully seeing it will inspire you to check out the manga and see how hard this story can go! It's definitely a special one, and I really recommend it.

[aseaofyoongi]

confessions of not so estranged hearts | pjm

park jimin x reader (f)

genre: angst; smut; crush culture

rating: mature audiences only (strictly 18+)

summary: you and jimin used to talk your senior year of highschool but after a lengthy falling out the two of you finally get a chance to reignite what was there.

warnings: pretty vanilla; reader is kind of shy; mentions of emotional constipation and miscommunication; set in the spring because warm weather makes me happy; tae is the readers step bro (this is not pseudo incėst); jk/jm are also brothers; teasing; penetrative sex; fingering/clitorial stimulation; praise; nipple play; foul language.

word count: 8,9 thousand words

posted: March 18, 2023

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Vibrant fields of lilac were stretched out in front of you. The little knowledge that you had retained about plants geared you to believe you were prancing around lavender beds. All of them were so narrow and ran numerous miles, seemingly endless. It almost seemed to meet the cool tones of the evening blue skies somewhere at the end of its path deep into the horizon. But you could not tell if it really did.

Instead, you stood snapping mental photographs of the beauty around you. It was a sight you wanted to store in your memories forever. To keep under lock and key in a tiny wooden box within the walls of your heart.

You grew a bit startled when a stranger’s slender fingers became intertwined with yours.

You thought you were alone. . Steadily, you turned around reading up the person standing behind you. They wore khakis; a white button up with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow and were outlined by a luminescent sparkle outshining the burning star above.

Jimin? You questioned, thoughts becoming a scribbled nonsense and quite frankly you were unsure how the two of you ended up here. But you did not care nor did you question it.

You just rode the wave of tingles migrating through your body. The way his lips were sculpted into a tender smile; his cheeks adorned by dimples so deep the ocean would be put to shame. And his palm felt so warm against yours. God knows you have wondered how that would feel from the moment you first laid eyes on him.

“Jimin.” he didn’t speak; just nodded, “how are we here? Where are we?”

“Your thoughts brought me here.”

“My thoughts?” you scratched the back of your head, “it’s that simple?”

“It’s that simple,” his voice began to fade and his touch became phantom.

You were being shaken out of your scenic haven, and while you tried to focus on Jimin the chants of your name became too great to ignore. Opening your eyes felt blinding but after rubbing the sleep off of them you realized it had only been a dream.

Figures. Only in the fabrications of your dreams would you ever grow the tits to speak to someone like him again. . breathing in the same vicinity as Jimin was an overstep, looking in his direction was ambitious, another chance at speaking to him was impossible and you were fully aware of that but how do you tell your heart to move on when he possesses everything your dreams are made of.

“Jimin again?” Your step-brother, Taehyung asked.

“Jimin?” you must have been uttering his name in your sleep again—like an idiot, “as in the guy who manages the flower stand?”

He hummed.

“No, not that Jimin.”

“So within the last twenty four hours you developed a stupid crush on another Jimin?”

“Yes. .” that could be believable, right?

“He’s the only Jimin you and I know,” he furrowed his eyebrows.

“He’s the only Jimin you know,” you tried averting as much as a stutter in your words, wanting to sound as convincing as possible, “I know many other Jimins’”

“Do I need to remind you, your best friend is a stuffed animal?” The most annoying thing about Tae was having him as a brother, living with him twenty-four seven; not being able to shield any details about your personal life from him.

“Actually, Yeontan is my best friend as well. How about you just keep your eyes on the fucking road.”

“You just proved my point but whatever,” he mumbled but you ignored him allowing his words to be carried away in the mild wind. Instead you became focused on the perfect attributes of that afternoon. The way the viridescent leaves emitted their melody as they swayed on the branches they would be calling home for the duration of spring and summer.

You raised your legs up on the dashboard after rolling down the window immersed by the sounds of nature, everything so perfectly in tune much like a lullaby nearly sending you off into a deep slumber once more.

Perhaps, that’s what your heart truly called for, urging for even the remaining ten minutes of the ride to fabricate dreams of him like you just had. Snippets of his features flashed in your mind with recollections of his tawny skin sparkling under the sunlight; cherry lips which he usually glossed accentuating their plumpness; and russet eyes he usually hid behind his eyelids when he smiled and laughed.

Jimin was the definition of perfection through and through.

But despite your shy glances and sneaky pleads for him to see you one more time, he never did. Even during the market festival season where he began helping his mom’s stand in front of yours two years ago you were invisible to him yet he was all you ever laid eyes on.

“We’re here loser,” he knocked your legs off the dashboard scrubbing the sleeve of his hoodie on the scuffs that were already there, “Look at all this. I’m gonna make you clean my whole fucking car.”

“Your truck has been shit way before I even set foot in it.”

“The fuck you say about Darla?”

“Darla, is literally the only woman in your life,” you pointed at his truck, “and she's a chunk of metal on wheels. Complete shit.”

He gasped audibly, slamming the car door before following behind you in a trot, “if Darla’s such a piece of shit you can use your little chicken legs to walk home.”

“I was going to do so anyway.”

“Good because I wasn’t providing you with a choice to begin with.”

You rolled your eyes, “fuck you, Taehyung.”

Taehyung and his father steered into the avenue of your life ten years ago on your twelfth birthday. Your mother threw a big party with promises of a grand surprise. Like any other adolescent girl you had hopes of a pleasant gift like a new phone; clothes; or maybe even a puppy. . But no. You couldn’t have been any more wrong. In the blink of an eye you were condemned with a brother you never asked for and a father figure you didn’t need. As she introduced them to you the vibrant walls residing in your mind, the same ones you had grown so accustomed to began closing in—trapping you in the narrowed space. Your whole world had been crushed entirely, metaphorically and literally as you were completely blind sided by betrayal and fueled by rage. For an entire year you gave your mother the cold shoulder, resenting her for not deeming you the sole purpose of her life. For needing to find happiness elsewhere and for not thinking you were enough. Even thinking about it now you realize how selfish it was. How you were tainting their experiences at the expense of your ridiculous outbursts. Thankfully, things were different now and the two of them have settled in your heart forever. Even though you and Taehyung would probably be buried six feet under still bickering in the afterlife.

Saturday mornings were finally alive again, bustling with social bodies strolling through the sidewalk between the red brick wall and the canal, stopping by all of the kiosks and stands featured in the annual market festival. Overhead there were string lights hung between the trees and the canal railing simulating the twinkling stars glimmering even during the brightest bits of the day.

Jung-hee, your step-father and your mother set-up the white tent enclosed with rectangular tables on three sides, all of them covered in white tablecloths and an abundance of upcycled and environmentally friendly jewelry. Of course, it only made so much sense to sell them here at the very place refusing to turn their lights off during the day.

“Did I hear the two of you arguing just now?” your mother shot the two of you a stern stare, her hand remained on her hip.

“Arguing?” you let out a derisive laugh.

“I may be old but my hearing still works.”

“No offense mama, but you might wanna clean your ears out cause there was absolutely no arguing here,” technically speaking you could tell the truth but she always made it her mission to punish the two of you if she caught you bickering in any way. And the last thing you felt like doing was cleaning up the stand after the market festival was over, “right, Tae?”

“Right,” he confirmed, “I’m as passive as the waves,” he flailed his arms mimicking the motion of the ocean, “I don’t even know what arguing is.”

“Not too much, Tae.” you smacked his arms down forcing them down to rest at his side.

“You know what? I don’t have time for this,” she brushed off the two of you and walked off in the direction of the parking lot, likely fetching something they’d previously forgotten.

“The two of you are gonna give your mother an aneurysm,” Jung-hee laughed while taking a seat on the stool by the register, “We all heard your bickering all the way here.”

What did he mean by all of us? You turned around reading the statue in Jimin figure as he leaned along the black railing, his attention entirely diverted to the phone sitting in his palm. As disappointing as it may be this was the extent of your interactions with Jimin, or the lack thereof rather. He was always right there. Right in front of you giving a new meaning to the word breathtaking and you were always willing to devote your undivided attention to him.

“Jimin, you are so fine. Please have my babies,” His voice was laced with mock and you just knew this was his attempt at working your remaining nerve. Surprise surprise, it worked.

“Jun sophomore year of college is going great thanks for asking,” you beamed, “Tae, how are you adapting to your classes?”

Deep; deeeep; deeeeeeeep down you knew it was kind of fucked to put Tae on the spot when you knew crystal clear he had been neglecting his classes for dance club but honestly you couldn’t say you were entirely sorry.

“Fuck you.” Taehyung mouthed quietly in your direction and your automatic response was to stick your tongue out at him.

“Right. Taehyung, how are classes going?”

“Well, they—they’re fine. .” Taehyung mumbled, scratching the back of his neck.

“Why do you not sound convinced?” Jun crossed his arms at his chest. He furrowed his eyebrows in a tight knit and squinted his eyes.

“It’s as convincing as it's gonna get,” he shrugged.

Jun swiped his hands down his features resting them right under his chin. “Taehyung, you need to get your shit together or I will tell your mother. Besides college is expensive and if you’re gonna dick around just save me the money and drop out already,” As a father figure Jun wasn’t much of a scoulder. . But the disappointment in his words was as sharp as a bee’s stylet and his tone felt like the acidic painful venom the insect punctured through the skin.

“When it gets to that point, I’ll phone the neighborhood snitch to let you know.”

In case it wasn’t evident; you were the ‘neighborhood snitch’. When the two of you were smaller you had a habit of babbling redundant shit you swore to the grave. As it seems you weren’t much different as an adult either. It’s what resulted in you scoring the nickname indefinitely.

“Don’t blame me. I simply asked a question.”

“No,” Taehyung slouched back on the chair and pulled his phone out of his pocket, “you asked the wrong fucking question. You always do.”

“You could have just answered differently.”

“You know I crack under his disappointed tone,” Taehyung whined.

“In that case, it is not my fault you’re a weak little bitch.” Actually, it kind of—No, it definitely was.

“You better sleep with one eye open.”

If this was anyone else you would have been trembling with fear but empty threats were Taehyung’s forte. In the third grade you accidently broke his Spider-Man lunch box and after threatening to chop off one of your ponytails yet all had been forgiven by the time school was dismissed and the two of you skipped home happily, hand in hand. Fast forward to middle school the two of you got in trouble after you tripped and broke a vase in your parents room after wanting to sneak an early peek at your Christmas gifts. Again, he threatened to never speak to you again but a few hours the two of you were sipping hot cocoa while binging a holiday movie marathon.

Just baseless threats. Nothing out of the ordinary.

“Can you two be quiet before your mom comes back?” Jun shook his head, “I should’ve gotten a vasectomy.”

“That only affects me, you ass,” Taehyung exclaimed.

“I would’ve given her up for adoption. Happy now?”

“Very.”

Jun pulled the cellphone from his back pocket reading his lit up screen, “your mother needs help, I’ll be right back. Behave please.”

“You got this right?” Taehyung scrambled up from his chair nearly sprinting away from the tent, not even sparing you a brief second to protest at his lack of assistance, “I need to, uh, go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

Although, there was a steep vibrancy of livelihood that trotted through the festival you couldn’t help but be underwhelmed by the lack of tints missing within the blurred lines tracing the eyes, nose and lips of those around you. You convinced yourself that in the darkest of night, a thief had broken into the neighborhood homes with a mission to drain everyone of their glow—the spark that shone brightly, exuding your desire to live.

Everyone was missing it but Jimin wasn’t.

His luminance was everlasting and while all of those around him in the canal were bland; boring; in black and white. . His honeyed skin radiated a blinding radiance. One that snagged your attention and refused to let it go. His eyes were as dark and as bottomless as the deepest depths of the sea. And while you dove in them long ago. You remained floating on the surface hoping one day he would finally notice. The curves of his plump lips were filled in with a shade of rubicund, while a layer of gloss accentuated them. He was blanketed in the synonyms of impeccability.

Anatomy states there are over six hundred muscles in the human body. One hundred of those would be geared to speak to him. To approach him two hundred muscles would be required per step. While you were dazed in love-filled daydreams, your ideal boy began walking up to the jewelry stand. You attempted to use the seventeen muscles needed to smile in his direction but instead you froze in place.

“Hey,” his voice was flourishing like the emerging flower petals in the dawn of spring, “do you have any bead necklaces?”

Copious assumptions ran through your mind. Who did he want? No, who did he need a necklace for? Was he taken? Maybe someone who he deemed a potential interest.

If only he could hear the palpitations of your beating heart. Only if he knew how much you still liked him.

“Necklaces?” you muttered in a stupefied tone.

“Bead necklaces,” he repeated.

“Right. .” In the back of your mind you continuously kicked the incompetence away or at least tried to. Working against your glacialized muscles you pulled out two white trays from behind the table and laid them out in front of you. One was composed of gold and silver pieces while the other were some your mother made with more vibrant colors, “we have these available right now.”

“Which ones do you like?” he hummed, kneeling down in front of the table.

“As the sales attendant of this tent,” you shrugged, “I think I’m forced to say I like all of them.”

He emitted a chuckle so airy and light it felt like a crisp breeze sweeping by even on that scorching spring day, the sweat beads streaming down your temples were congealed, ���I suppose that's how things are wired, huh?”

“That is what I’m here for,” you smiled slightly. There was a pinch in your heart as you formed your next words, “I might be able to form better assistance if I knew who this could be for.”

“My youngest brother,” he huffed, “his birthday’s in a couple of days.”

“Jungkook?” you asked.

“Yes. . You know him?”

“Only in passing,” you shrugged, “he’s best friends with my step brother, Taehyung.”

He snickered, “Oh. .Taehyung.”

“That is the only accurate response to the whirlwind individual that is Taehyung,” you shook your head, chuckling in the process.

“Funny, cause I would describe Jungkook the exact same way,” he brushes his dark locs away from his moistened forehead.

“They are soulmates after all.”

“What about you?” he began.

“What about me?”

“Is there anyone who holds such a title in your life?” his eyes turned to gold under the beams of the radiant sun. Spell written with poems about the beauty of the summer season featuring sonnets of love and fondness.

“Like a best friend?”

“I suppose,” there was a stammer in his words, “more like a soulmate bond at all.”

“Uh, I suppose not,” truly narrowing it down the stem of the current relationships in your life came root to sole acquaintances. Friends of friends or friendships you made in passing.

“Well we’re still young right?” Jimin reassured, “we have a lifetime of relationships to build.”

Less than an eternity, all you wanted was a single minute to peel back everything you felt for Park Jimin. Like a love struck idiot unable to form coherent sentences you nodded with your tongue caught in the back of your throat.

You didn’t desire a lifetime, you wanted to shout. All you needed was him.

“For Jungkook,” you cleared your throat, “I noticed he’s quite fond of the color black. Perhaps, something like this might suit him best.” You picked out a black spinel necklace composed of black beads with a silver chain in between each one.

“You have a keen sense for good taste,” the pads of his fingertips fluttered over the piece. His sensible touch traced over your fingers sending a chill racing through all ten of your fingers.

“It's the reason I was appointed employee of the month,” surely the wide grin sitting on your face was unsettling so you tried to tone it down as best you could, “should I pack this up for you?”

“Please,” he followed you over to the register, “thank you so much for all of your help.”

Grabbing the black square jewelry box you placed the necklace in it, before placing it in the small gift bag and handing it off to Jimin after he paid for it.

In your mind, the extent of your interaction was cherished but you couldn’t help the way your head raced through hundreds of scenarios to call him back. To scramble and make something up just to be able to see him again. It was a fervent feeling like a fire being fed more lighter fluid, unable to be extinguished.

But his back was all your eyes could meet and his strides were aimed towards his family’s rose stand on the other side of the sidewalk.

Everything played in slow motion, perhaps that is why you missed how sweet your name tasted being pushed past his lips. Lingers of daydreams trailed behind as you failed to separate fiction from reality.

To be fair, what had taken place for the past fifteen minutes seemed to be fabricated from the sweetest of dreams to visit you in the late hours of the night—then, you heard your name once again.

“Yes?” you finally snapped out of it.

“Will I see you at Jungkook’s birthday party?”

“I don’t know,” you weren’t really sure why you said that when in reality you wanted to go and spend more time with him.

“Come on,” he fidgeted with the silk string on the gift bag, “I promise I’ll keep you company.”

“Yeah, yeah. .” you nodded, “I’ll go.”

“Tomorrow at 6:30 at the beach spot behind our house,” he offered.

“See you there.”

When the market festival ended that day you were drained, entirely washed out by the lack of assistance provided from your family in managing the jewelry stand. Taehyung never showed up again from his trip to the bathroom and Jun and your mother left to look after the store a few blocks away.

The night has emerged and all you wanted was to sink into the comfort of your mattress.

“Are you gonna wait for me to get all of this down?” Jun continued storing away the few pieces you weren’t able to sell.

“Our apartment is just two blocks away. I’m too tired to wait, I’ll just walk it,” the slanting rays of the setting sun painted a warm orange tinge to the sky. It wasn’t too dark for an evening stroll and besides many stans were open and the sidewalks were still being occupied by dozens of people.

“Are you sure?”

“Are you taking the tent down too?”

“Are you and Taehyung still going to Jungkook’s birthday party?”

The thought of missing it couldn’t even cross your mind, “Yes.”

“Then, yes,” he pointed at the phone sitting beside him, “just please text me when you get home so I know you made it there safely.”

“I always do,” you kissed his forehead, “good night Jun.”

“Good night sweetie.”

Walking was its own form of therapy and while you had just worked on your feet all day, there was something about the way the cool wind swept against your body. Seeming as if just a few hours prior it hadn’t been the hottest day the spring season has had to offer thus far.

“As employees of the month I would have guessed your work hours would extend past 6pm,” Jimin pulled up next to you on his bright mint green bicycle.

“I was deserving of it when my lazy baby brother decided to ditch me hours ago,” you slowed down your power walk allowing him to also ride swiftly.

“You know, Jungkook did the same exact thing at the flower stand,” he hummed as if to raise suspicion. . rightfully so.

“Tae and Kookie are two peas in a pod,” you sighed, “God, knows what kind of trouble they’re stirring up.”

“I can only hope to be as far away as possible from the eruption whenever that trouble may explode.”

“Seriously.”

If a color palette could be assigned to each person in the world, Jimin would be composed of pastels. More specifically he would be portrayed in the delicate hues of yellow vivifying calmness, peacefulness, happiness.

“No cars out in the town today?” He pedaled slowly, still following your pace.

“You’re the one with the fancy cars here.”

He scoffed, shaking his head, “they’re barely fancy.”

“You’re such a liar,” you giggled, “but to answer your question I keep my car in the garage a lot of the time. Everything is at a walking distance and besides Taehyung is the one to drive us back from on the weekends.”

“Sounds like the makings of a passenger princess to me.”

“I wear the title proudly,” you smiled.

“In that case, hop on.” Jimin came to a halt in front of you.

“Like on the pegs?”

“You can always hop on the handlebars if you prefer that. .” he offered, patting the metal bar in front of him.

“I’ll take the pegs,” after securing your backpack to prevent it from falling, you placed both of your hands on his shoulders before climbing onto the wheel attachments, “where are we heading?”

“How do you feel about milkshakes?”

“Love them.”

“Then, we’re headed for milkshakes.”

On the back of Jimin’s bike you felt like the world glimmered in stardust, guzzled with the purest beauty you had ever witnessed. There was something about the golden tones of the sunset painted over the land while the wind continued brushing so tenderly against your face. And in that moment, you realized just how divine life truly was.

“I was not aware you had such an affinity for chocolate,” Jimin chuckled lightly, eyeing the chocolate milkshake and nutella waffles laid out in front of you.

“I guess I have a bit of a sweet tooth.”

“A bit,” he laughed, “is putting it lightly.”

“Would it be categorized as an obsession in that case?”

“An obsession is the right label,” he took a bite from a single french fry.

Nightfall had finally fallen amongst the small town and while the sky was basking in utter blackness and twinkling of stars, you sat across from Jimin enamored by his mere presence.

The two of you decided on a booth by a large window—overlooking the lively atmosphere of the night life taking its course on college hill.

“Can I ask you something?” you played around with the straw sitting in your milkshake to ease the nervousness.

“Of course,” he sat up, russet eyes sternly casted on you, contributing further to your ecstatic nerves.

You cleared your throat, an attempt at trying to rid yourself of the lump residing in your throat, “Why did we ever stop talking?”

“I guess back then, I got in my own head,” he moved around in his seat continuously. Perhaps, scavenging for the right words, “after we began speaking on Hinge we never talked in school. Didn’t even spare each other a glance. After some time our conversations on the app also became scarce so I assumed you had found someone else.”

You shook your head quickly. Astounded that your lack of words had once pushed Jimin away, “There was never anyone else.”

“There was never anyone for me either,” his smile was tender, illuminating your night like the beams of moonlight, “but we were so much younger then. . and communication was not our strongest suit I suppose.”

“That’s definitely true.”

“The good thing about maturing is learning to communicate and I think we’ve both grown to overcome our limitations,” he offered, “and besides there’s always a chance for a fresh start.”

“Second chances are esteemed to vitality,” you chuckled, “and I think we owe each other at least one.”

“Yeah, I would say we’re due for one,” his lips stretched out into a wide grin, “although, can I apologize for the assumptions I made back then?”

The diner was still buzzing with conversations birthed from patrons who were still out enjoying the hours of the evening much like you and Jimin. With dimmed lights and the red leather covering the seats the set up was slightly romantic and you weren’t sure if he had brought you here on purpose (realistically this was the only milkshake spot near campus but you feed into your own delusions).

“In that case I’d have to apologize as well.”

“You know,” he fidgeted with the rings on his fingers, rotating the silver band against his honeyed skin, “I only walked up to your mothers tent for one reason.”

“What was the reason?”

“I wanted to be sure you still remembered me.”

“I could never forget you, Jimin.”

As time slowed you’d still felt it insufficient for the amount of hours you actually wanted to spend with Jimin. Talking each other’s ears off about anything that could be a topic of conversation. You just wanted to be embraced by his blanket of comforting words—the lusciousness of his voice. That is all you desired.

The real highlight of the night came when the two of you walked side by side under the starry night, though, his bike remained wedged between the two of you; while you were engaged in conversations, your hands met on the metal bars of his bicycle’ handle bars when you offered to help him push it.

Shocks of electrical currents waved through you as your palms met his hand. A feeling so addictive you wanted nothing more than to be consumed by it.

“Hey.” Taehyung leaned against the frame of your doorway, “how did your night end up?”

“Well even after you stranded me at the jewelry stand for the day, I still managed to salvage my night,” you threw one of plush cushions at him—clearly intending no damage but he caught it anyway.

Just like the numerous birds migrate during the autumn season; just as they did as soon as the leaves turned auburn, amber and mahony and you and Taehyung were eighteen year old high school graduates, the two of you left home for the city. Away from the soundtrack composed of the waves crashing against the golden shores; away from the ranch style homes and the peacefulness of the suburb style community. Realistically, an apartment downtown was more convenient for commuting college students than having to drive thirty minutes back and forth every single day.

“I’m sorry,” he laid down next to you on the bed, though his legs were still hanging off for the most part, “but that was my payback for what you pulled earlier. I still have dad blowing up my phone about my grades.”

“I’m sorry about that,” you began working random braids into his messy strands.

“Apology accepted,” he cleared his throat, “but on a more interesting note, Jungkook and I saw you and Jimin riding on his bike earlier tonight.”

“Oh yeah,” you tried to mask the excitement in your tone—keeping a steady monotone, “he came to talk to me while I worked the stand, then invited me out for milkshakes and to Jungkook’s birthday party.”

“Do I smell a crush to lovers trope finally taking its course here?” he sat up a bit still resting back on his elbows.

Your palms grew sweaty at the thought of seeing Jimin again at the end of the week, “I hope so. . I never thought he and I would speak again but here we are.”

“You know he’s never stopped talking about you once,” his boxy smile was synonymous to the warm embrace you wanted to cry out for at that very moment, “Jungkook told me.”

“Really?”

“Yes. That boy is always talking about you,” He got rid of his sweatshirt and laid back down on your bed, invading nearly all of your pillows. So laid back. As if he hadn’t just revealed that Jimin still likes you, “what are we watching tonight?”

You felt your body levitating right off the mattress but somehow your hand still managed to pass him the TV remote, “you pick something tonight.” Reaffirmations of Jimin’s unspoken sentiments tickled your stomach and stole your attention from whichever horror movie Taehyung decided on. Instead you were shaken with anticipation to see Jimin again, it’s all you could think about.

For the first time since moving into the city the drive back home felt different. Your timorous state attributed to your moistened palms, the incessant bouncing of your leg and the fact that you couldn’t maintain a single stature in the passenger seat.

“Hey,” Taehyung placed his hand on your shoulder while maintaining eye contact on the road, “are you doing okay over there?”

You nodded slowly, then remembered he couldn’t actually see you, “I’m fine.”

“You seem. . queasy,” he suggested.

“I’m not queasy,” you argued, “besides aren’t you a bit nervous about all this?”

“About having the house to ourselves and partying tomorrow?” You hummed but he replied: “No, I don’t. I’m actually a normal person.”

“It’s not about being normal, you asshole.”

“No, it’s about Jimin. Right?” The octave in his voice rose, likely to mimic yours. Kissing noises came from his side of the car as he puckered his lips in a taunting manner.

“It’s not. .” But it was. Your brain felt as it had been liquified and where excitement became puddled its remnants drew dangerously close to doubt. Causing you to overthink Jimin’s intentions behind his invitation. Did he just feel obligated to invite you after you sold him that necklace?

Taehyung pulled into your parents’ driveway taking the key out of the ignition, “come one, spit it out. What are you thinking about?”

“I just-” you sighed, “I just want things to go well this weekend.”

“Listen, it is just a party. OK?” He slouched back in the driver’s seat, “If you need to leave at any point we’ll bounce no questions asked.” You nodded, reaching for the door handle but he called your name drawing your attention back towards him.

“He likes you,” he reassured, likely to ease your nerves—he was your brother after all, and he knew exactly what you were anxious about, “but if tomorrow you happen to find out he is not the one for you, don't let your vibrance diminish. Jimin is amazing but only you can ignite your spark and maintain it alight. Not him.”

“Thank you, Taehyung,” it’s hard to pinpoint the exact day when your younger brother grew to be so wise. If there was one thing you were certain of though, it was that despite all the bickering you were glad Taehyung walked into your life. You didn’t know where you’d be without him, “Love you.”

“Love you, loser.”

The rest of the night came at a steady pace and was composed of pizza and yet another scary movie marathon you were left to finish on your own as Taehyung snored away beside you on the couch. You placed a pillow underneath his head and tucked him in with the blanket he brought down for the two of you. Suddenly, there was a light knock at the door, startling you entirely. Looking out the peephole you noticed Jungkook and Jimin standing on the other side of the door.

“Hey,” you opened and stood, allowing them to come in, “I didn’t know you guys were coming over.”

“I texted Tae,” Jungkook said walking towards the living room entrance disappearing into the room shortly after, “let me guess he’s already sleeping?”

“He’s an early bird. You already know.”

“Two nights ago,” Jimin began following behind you as you walked into the kitchen, “ I forgot to ask you a very important question.”

“There were more questions?” You asked jokingly, setting out two shot glasses and pouring some of the clear alcohol into both of them. You weren’t quite sure why your automatic response to having Jimin in your vicinity was to consume alcohol. Perhaps, it was your pregamed liquid courage in anticipation for the boost of confidence you were likely to need. The back of your throat was set ablaze under an earnest fire as a result of the vodka. Feeling like your body lost its touch with gravity and you were slowly ascending into space. Across from you, and after the second shot the two of you have chugged Jimin’s eyes crinkled up interpreting the delicate nature of his very endearing smile. But it didn’t stop there. Your drunken gaze examined him thoroughly while he succeeded in personifying the meaning of alluring in a just black t-shirt and sweats which he paired with messy dark strands still a bit damp, likely from a recent shower. Surely, a million songs could be written around Jimin easily.

“Yeah, I forgot the most important question actually,” he leaned back against the counter tops.

“What did you forget?”

“Your number. I never asked for it,” he said in a slight stutter. “Stupid I know, but once I made it home I realized I had no way of talking to you.”

“You could have had Jungkook ask Taehyung or something.”

“I thought about that but then I realized it’d be better if I was the one asking as opposed to having my younger brother ask yours,” he shrugged.

“Well,” you hopped on the counter taking a seat right by where he stood. Your shoulders rubbed against each other, “you can always ask now.”

“I don’t know. I feel like being an angsty teenager,” he giggled, “I like the feeling of the butterflies in my stomach when I think of you. And staying up late replaying every second of any instant we happen to cross paths.”

“I wasn’t aware you were such a hopeless romantic,” You kept your eyes glued to his magnetic gaze softened by a deep shade of brown. The same shade of behind by the sun’s kisses, exuding warmth, fondness and compassion drawing you in slowly.

“I’ve always been all about romance darling,” He turned his head towards you closing the little gap which once separated the two of you. Jimin’s aura was intoxicating like the drinks you had downed and you became hazed by the close proximity; growing even more tipsy off his fragrance of lavender with hints of vanilla.

“You’ve yet to sweep me off my feet,” that was a big fat lie. A mere fabrication in your attempt at teasing him just as he was.

“Gimme an hour and I guarantee you will be head over heels for me,” he murmured jokingly with a smile painted delicately on his features.

“Sixty minutes is simply too much,” you placed your palm to the nape of his neck, not really guiding him anywhere but still hoping he’d read it as a signal in your urgency to have him close that little gap that still existed between the two of you, “when it could only take a second for you to finally kiss me.”

Jimin froze as he processed the nature of your words. “Kiss me, Jimin,” you repeated, the bitter taste of the vodka remained tainting your tongue—pulling things out of you which you would never say out loud. Damn liquid courage.

Jimin placed both of his velvet palms to your cheeks leading you towards his lips at an agonizing pace. The closer the two of you became the more your stomach twisted in anticipation—honestly the knot in the pit of your stomach grew a bit painful but you found pleasure in the way his touch felt against your skin. It was even warmer than his gaze, sweeter than his words, you were drunk-dazed and his lips hadn’t even met yours yet.

“I’ve been dreaming about feeling your lips against mine for a long time. You know.” The pads of his thumbs brush against your chin sweetly as his pillowy lips left their phantom touch against yours. Your eyes were shut tightly but you could feel the way he placed soft kisses on the peaks of your mouth.

“Jimin. .” you whined practically begging him to give you what you craved for. “Please.”

“Darling, please say my name like that more often.”

Behind his alluring words there was little intent to supply your requests—he was not going to kiss you. Not because he didn’t want to but simply because he treasured the way you responded to him. He enjoyed the way your skin became covered in goosebumps at the utters of his words and the way your requests became insistancies to have him near. He was evil, a demon reincarnated and while you wanted to continue playing along you knew that the scenario would carry on for too long and your brothers’ still sat waiting for the two of you to join them in the next room.

You placed your hands on top of his before peeling them off your face softly before stumbling off the counter. You moved closer to his right cheek and gave him a tender peck before whispering, “I will. Maybe.”

“Wait!” He called out, mumbling a few curses the farther away you got from him. You chuckled lightly feeling victorious in game of teasing the two of you had initiated.

Taehyung and Jungkook sat side by side on the couch despite it being big enough to sit six comfortably. The two of them stared directly at you while you took a seat on the other end of the couch.

“What are you so smug about?” Taehyung asked, pausing the movie and redirecting their attention to you.

“I’m not.”

“Where’s Jimin?” Jungkook asked.

“Ho-How should I know he’s your brother?” the bit of alcohol in your system loosened up your tongue.

“I’m right here,” Jimin entered the living room hurriedly, taking a seat beside you. The lack of space between the two of you caused the temperature to rise allowing the room to grow unbearably hot, “sorry, I was in the bathroom.”

“Hm,” Taehyung hummed suspiciously.

“Could it really be a coincidence that the two of you came in from your little escape at the same exact time?” Jungkook added.

“Totally,” you nodded repeatedly, “it is absolutely a coincidence.”

“Definitely,” Jimin agreed, “now play the movie before the hours keep on rolling by.”

You were not trying to be difficult but parties were really not your scene. In the past, Taehyung would drag you along to these things as a plus one while he flourished in his extroverted nature. Usually you found yourself glued to the nearest corner, mounted to the wall like an old painting invisible to the wandering eye.

“Hey,” Jimin sat on the white kalicki chair beside you. Above the white sand and just inches away from the crashing of the cerulean waves the two of you became wrapped in each other’s presence. “Here, all I could find was a ginger ale. I hope you don’t mind.”

In the passing of time you realized social settings drained you rather quickly. There was just something so distasteful about having to buzz around initiating casual conversations which often led nowhere with people you’d probably never interact with again. You just hoped Jimin hadn’t gotten the wrong impression when he found you making a break for a clear escape.

“I’m sorry I kind of left you back there,” you swiped your finger around the metal rim of the can, “it just gets overwhelming sometimes.”

“I get it,” he took a sip of his drink, “party’s aren’t usually your thing” He didn’t wait for your response before adding, “I’ve noticed.”

“You’ve noticed?” You turned to your side on the chair now facing him as he nodded, smirking all while averting eye contact.

“I have.” He began, “you’re laid back—quiet. Not like one of those girls who try too hard to be mysterious, you just are. You’re very observant and you drink people’s every move. Oh, and you tend to keep to yourself a lot.”

“You make me sound so bland.”

“From my perspective, it just makes me want to get to know you even more,” he corrected himself, “-even more than the last time,” back then your heart beat so hard for Jimin and today it still thumped at your chest even harder, “I just can’t seem to figure out one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Well parties aren’t your thing right?”

You nodded, “right.”

“And you just accepted my invitation?”

“I almost didn’t,” you confessed, “but. .”

“But. .” he repeated almost in the form of a question. Your stomach began to churn as a result of your nervousness and you could feel the burning sensation of the regurgitation burning the back of your throat. Although, you desperately scavenged for the right words and sentence structure, all of it just launched itself out of your system. Suddenly, you were left in the chair across from Jimin looking nothing short of a jest.

His patience was reassuring but you knew you were being selfish, “because having you stand across from me for the past two springs at the market festival without having the wit to be able to speak to you killed me agonizingly slowly.”

“Jimin. .” you muttered.

“But I lost every once of my sanity this past weekend. I saw you and. .” he paused almost in a halt like he was taking himself back to relive that very day, “You can call it over confidence but my basis for going up to you was that I’d caught you staring at me from the jewelry stand.”

Suddenly, the heat became scorching even for the early-ish spring season. Although the sun wasn’t as punishing as it would be in a couple of months you could feel its rays burning up your skin.

“Please tell me that I didn’t just imagine all of it.”

“I know we were kind of tipsy but I was practically throwing myself at you last night, Jimin. Of course, I like you.”

Jungkook’s party turned to an event of the past the minute Jimin interlaced his fingers with yours. He led you through the Millennia property, Jungkook’s extravagant black and gold decor and up the stairs to his room, realistically you couldn’t even attest to the maneuvering of your own two feet. Feeling entirely stupefied by the sensation of his velvet palms in yours.

The clicking sound of the door shutting was your wake-up call and finally you were aware of the predicament you’d walked into.

You and Jimin were entirely alone in his room unbeknownst to how you managed to travel through the four digit acres making up the estate plus the scattered party goers and the beds of the multi-colored Floribunda Roses that were now in season.

“Go on enlighten me,” he took a seat on the gaming chair across the room while you remained at your awkward stature by the door, “you enjoy looking at my face?”

“I never put it like that.”

He shrugged, slouching down in his seat. His wide spread legs were aimed in your direction, “it’s how I heard it.”

“It doesn’t matter now,” you crossed your arms on your chest, “I’ve decided to stop feeding your ego.”

“That’s OK.” He whispered, “I have your confession ingrained into my head. Looping over and over and over again.”

You shook your head still maintaining a safe distance between the two of you, “Don’t.”

“What? Can I not replay your love-tuned words? The shadows of your lips still lurking on mine?”

“Just—”you fidgeted with the silver band on your thumb. Twisting it softly as a distraction from Jimin’s words.

“You do that a lot, you know.”

“What?”

“You always say or do something so endearing and so grand,” Jimin sighed, “And then you—you just hold back. What are you so afraid of?”

“There are many things to fear.”

“I like you and you like me. . There is nothing to be apprehensive about.”

“You like me?” you asked almost stunned although in the back of your mind you were sort of certain of his intentions.

“I have never masked my feelings for you.”

“You have certainly not been entirely transparent,” you huffed, “this is the first time you actually spell it out for me.”

“I like you. .” he stammered, standing up from his seat on the chair and walking towards you, “I like you. I fucking like you so much. Do you want me to actually spell it out?”

His hands found their nook on your waist and he began guiding you backwards until your back met the frigid. Even though your eyes were closed you could sense the desperation in his touch as his caresses moved to explore every inch of your neck and face.

“I-L-I-K-E-Y-O-U,” he spelled out, holding your hand up against his chest. “Come here. Feel how fast my heart beats just having you so near.”

“Jimin,” you breathed out, “Jimin.”

“Can I kiss you?” he asked. You nodded.

Finally, the long anticipation bubbling in the pit of your stomach ceased and your lips were cushioned in the embrace of his sweet kisses. And in that moment the world ceased to exist, all that paraded around in your head were thoughts of Jimin and Jimin only.

In your perception of time the kiss was short lived but quickly the two of you became engulfed in the gloomy waves of his bed and as you swam around you began drowning in his aroma left behind tainting his sheets.

“Jimin, I want you.” A burning desire trickled on every inch of your skin; the only thing to cease the aching feeling was his soothing touch. “Please.”

“Are you sure? There’s a party just outside—”

“I’m sure,” you interrupted.

Even though you were lulled in the softness of his lips on your neck you could still feel the way his right hand dipped under the neckline of your dress, meeting your breast once and for all. He caressed it softly, slightly pinching your nipple every once in a while.

It remained in that course for a while until you finally grew exasperated by his laggard pace.

“Can I?” you asked, pointing at his hand. After his reassuring nod you began guiding his hand down the valley of your breasts and over the route of your stomach leading him right to the hemline of your panties.

“I just want to. .” he looked between your face and where his hand rested, “want to make sure that this is what you actually want.”

“I led you where I need you, Jimin. I want this, believe me,” you left a soft peck on his rose lips.

“Don’t be afraid to speak up with me. Ok?”

You chanted a string of slurred ok’s before Jimin dipped his hand under the cotton material of your underwear. Immediately, his digits began tracing long strides between your lips, spreading the pool of slickness building up at your entrance, “tell me what you like.”

You hummed, unable to form coherent words, divulged in the feeling of his quickening strokes on your clit, “Tell me.”

“Just. .” you breathed out, “just don’t stop.”

“Is this as far as you wanna go today darling?” he asked, “because I could cum just watching you crumble at the mercy of my fingers.”

“All.” You moaned, “I want—want it all.”

His fingers were laced with spells of pleasure, Jimin was ready to cast them all upon you without as much as a second thought and you loved every second of it. Especially, when you felt him push past your entrance slowly, pumping those blessed fingers of his in and out of you.

Looking down you saw the floral pattern of your dress hiked up above your belly button and his hand moving forward and backward in-between your legs. Though, you couldn’t visually see his fingers disappear inside if you, you could feel the way your walls clenched around his slender fingers.

“Oh my God. . Jimin,” you couldn’t help but shout through the waves of pleasure taking their course all throughout your body.

He quickly hushed you, “I need you to keep it down. Yeah?” You nodded. It was the only response your body could muster up as he continued. Jimin’s uneven breathing and your suppressed moans bounced off the eggshell walls. A medley which serenaded your ears in the best way.

“I’m so close, Jimin.”

“Let go, darling,” he continued, “cum for me.”

His pleads of encouragement had you squirming under his touch. Entirely consumed in the feeling traveling through your body when you finally let go. And just as before there you were standing amongst the endless field of lilac lavenders swaying in the direction of the wind. If this is what dreams were made of, you never wanted to waste another second awake.

“You look so fucking hot like this,” Jimin plopped down beside you.

“You still seem to be in need of some extra attention,” you looked down at the perfectly structured pyramid composed of his jeans.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Jimin,” your voice was barely above a whisper, “fuck me.”

Words were scarce in the presence of passion and desire and you’d admit there wasn’t an outcome in the events of the day where your body wasn’t calling out for Jimin desperately.

“Are you sure?”

“Please.”

Though your experience pertaining to sexual endeavors was scarce, you had to admit sex was a beautiful thing although your perception of the act could have certainly been biased towards the man whom you currently laid under.

There was something addicting in the way his toned arms cemented you in the center of his bed, sweat beads adorning his temples, his sculpted figure hovered over you as he worked to mold your insides with his cock.

“Don’t—stop—please,” you puffed in between each word.

His grunts echoed through the room. Jimin’s concern for the party going on just outside the door was no longer a priority. All you managed was jumbled gibberish while he continued sinking deep in your insides and slowly pulling back out.

A perfect addition to all of the combinations which existed in the world. Your pussy and Jimin’s cock.

So fucking perfect.

“Fuck!” you balled a hand of his sheets in your fists.

His mission to find your push to insanity has been accomplished and his head repeated its attack on your g-spot until once again your moans were too loud to suppress and until your voice became hoarse as a result.

“You’ve been so good, darling,” he fell on top of you, visibly exhausted—the two of you were half clothed and obviously too tired to do much of anything. Jimin’s head rested on your chest and while you played with his dark hair, he drew mindless shapes onto your bicep, “can I officially call you my girlfriend after tonight?”

“I’ll be yours if you promise to be mine.”

“Always.”

“Always,” you grinned.

-

-

AN: this is semi-ok ?? i don’t even know but let me know what you think. also don’t you just love the spring time?

reblogs, likes, comments, replies are always appreciated 🫶🏽

[the-oracle-of-the-lost]

I watched every Star Trek episode & here are my opinions.

as the title says – i finished all the Star Trek shows as of today yesterday and since i watched most of them while i wasn't using tumblr, i want do do some mini-reviews – both what i think are objectively the best shows and which are my personal favorites. i might make a couple more "ranking" posts for theme song/pilot/finale/favorite epsiodes/etc eventually but this post is already long as hell. i'll also probably do a movie post sometime but i want to rewatch the AOS movies first since i haven't seen Into Darkness since it came out (before i was actively a Trekkie).

also just as a note, these are fully my own opinions & tastes. i'm not trying to argue that any of these shows are bad (nor are any flawless), i'm just Some Guy giving my opinions.

continued under the cut. apologies for how long this is but there sure is a lot of Star Trek.

Watch Order

my opinions are probably a bit influenced by the order that i first watched these shows in so just as some background – i watched sporadic episodes of TOS & TNG when i was a kid which was enough to be familiar with the characters, general vibes, & world but not enough to really get into it. in late 2020/early 2021 i watched DS9 per a friend's recommendation and really loved it and decided to give all the different shows a shot. i watched all of TNG summer 2021, watched some of Disco & (what was then all of) Lower Decks in fall 2021. i started Voyager spring 2022, was interrupted because of Life Stuff and finished it spring 2023. i watched the first season of snw & prodigy sometime in between then. watched Picard spring 2023 just before s3 aired. watched Enterprise summer/fall 2023. finished Disco spring 2024 (just before s5). did a slow march through TOS between summer 2023 and summer 2024. and finally i watched TAS this past month. and i've been keeping up with all recent releases since 2023.

i've also rewatched a large amount of Trek either with my mom or friends at various times so i've ended up seeing most episodes twice (or more in the case of DS9 & Voyager).

Somewhat Objective Ranking:

there's a large difference for me between shows that i think are objectively good & ones that i'm personally attached to so here's just my attempt at ranking Star Trek shows by how good i think they are from a critical lens, not necessarily my favorite.

for me – a good show, and specifically a good Star Trek show, should have in my opinion a) a diverse & strong cast of characters, b) have unique & compelling plots whether they're based in science fiction, politics, or philosophy, c) has a strong moral center & explores the nature of humanity in some way, d) allows the audience to believe in a better future, e) is consistent (both with continuity and episode quality), f) does something to differentiate it from other shows, and g) is actually entertaining.

i don't think any shows come close to fulfilling all of those qualities but some do better than others.

11. The Animated Series: probably not a surprise that it comes in last. it's a fun show by the standard of kid's cartoon in the 70s and i genuinely do like it but it has a lot of the flaws of TOS (lack of continuity, lack of character depth, flimsy plots) with few of the upsides. though i do like how the secondary characters get more of a focus than in TOS.

10. Enterprise: big jump up in quality here from TAS but Enterprise does fall flat compared to the other shows. the Vulcan & Andorian stories are almost always good but so much of s1 & s2 lacks creativity and a lot of the a plots end up feeling generic & reused (though the b plots are often great). s3 falls into an obvious & uncomfortable 9/11/war on terror metaphor that has not aged well. and s4 is a huge improvement but doesn't make up for the faults of earlier seasons. additionally, i think returning to "the Trio + secondary characters" was largely a mistake as characters like Hoshi & Travis remain horribly underdeveloped (and what a coincidence that they're characters of color...) all in all. some great ideas and a handful of great episodes but it doesn't make up for how meh large swathes of the show can be.

9. The Original Series: i'm going to be honest that it this is the hardest show to objectively rank just because it's the first and it's so hugely impactful not just on the Star Trek franchise (obviously) but also on science fiction, pop culture, TV production, and American culture. its impact is quite literally immeasurable and i think unfortunately it means the show will always feel small in comparison to the shadow it casts. don't get me wrong. some episodes are great even by today's standard, not to mention by the standard of the 60s. but so many episodes, especially as the show went on, end up being pretty mediocre, poorly paced, misogynistic/racist, and have thin plots. TOS is enjoyable for me because of the camp & exploring the foundations of this fictional universe i love so dearly but i'm not going to pretend that it's objectively better than other shows on this list just because of its legacy.

8. Picard: now i could pretty easily judge each season of Picard as its own show and each season would get spaced out in entirely different places on this list. i genuinely believe s1 of Picard is one of the best seasons of Star Trek. the writing fumbles a bit at the end but the characters, direction, & acting is some of the best of the franchise. unfortunately the choice to present each season as a separate anthology reallllly let's it down because of the lack of continuity between seasons. the pandemic definitely threw a wrench into the show but s2 (while i enjoy it), has a very messy meandering plot that feels insecure in its skin. s3 (which i also enjoy) has tighter writing but suffers majorly from having been outlined before the end of s2 therefore having a weird discontinuous transition between seasons and unfortunately excluding so many great characters from s1 & 2. i love it dearly (not to foreshadow my personal favorite ranking) but it is a mess.

7. Discovery: most of the critiques i have of Picard also stand for Discovery which also opted for the "anthology" style series which i think fundamentally doesn't work. Discovery took awhile to find its voice and after s3, still sung somewhat off key. Michael is easily one of the best & most well developed Star Trek characters and the rest of the cast is good but are painfully underdeveloped as its hyperserialized format doesn't really leave time to get to know the characters unless it's essential for the plot. like Picard, it also got screwed over by pandemic-era production leaving some episodes clumsily written. some seasons, in my opinion, end up with an overcomplicated plot that becomes difficult to follow. nevertheless, there are some episodes and scenes that are stunning and somewhat make up for the mis-steps. and ultimately, the later seasons of the show really do understand the heart of Star Trek.

6. Strange New Worlds: going back to an episodic style for the next live action show after the mixed reviews of Picard & Discovery was definitely a good choice. the writing is much tighter, the characters generally feel more whole, and there's more to grab onto compared to entirely serialized shows. and after a lot of the darkness in Discovery and Picard, it feels like a breath of fresh air to have a show that feels joyful & fun. however. so much of SNW is built off of pre-existing Star Trek (mainly TOS) that it struggles to form its own identity and when it tries to be a new show, it gets caught in the trap of betraying existing continuity. the episodes focusing on La'an, Uhura, M'Benga, & Una are great – some of the best of new trek – but episodes focusing on Spock, Chapel, and Pike end up feeling... off with messy writing and being Kinda Weird about disability/genetics. since it's only had two seasons, i definitely think SNW could ascend or descend in the rankings in the upcoming season(s).

5. The Next Generation: TNG wasn't quite as hard for me to rank as TOS but it sometimes struggles with a similar problem that its legacy in pop culture sometimes overshadows the show itself. it's also tricky because when TNG is good, it's phenomenal; when it's bad, it's really bad; but most episodes land somewhere in the middle. s1 is borderline unwatchable, s2 is just a step above, and from there it gets a lot stronger after behind the scene problems were worked out & it found a stable writing staff. it ends up striking a good balance of stories between straightforward science mysteries, deep explorations of philosophy, space politics, and fun romps. it ends up getting dragged down more than a little by Roddenberry's lingering insistence to have the characters avoid long term conflict and the very episodic style resulting in less ongoing story arcs. characters like Geordi, Wes, Beverly, & Troi also end up feeling somewhat underdeveloped in comparison to characters like Picard & Data.

4. Voyager: this is probably one of my more controversial picks (judging by how others tend to rank the series) and maybe i'm biased but i do genuinely believe that Voyager deserves its place this high on the list. Voyager is an inconsistent show which certainly pulls it down a little but manages to strike a better balance in episode quality and is able to have more dynamic characters & more ongoing narratives than TNG. Voyager still has its share of bad episodes and gets off to a somewhat shaky start (particularly struggling in early s2) but finds its groove more easily because of the experienced writing team that already had years of Star Trek under their belt & an excellent cast. Voyager's biggest stumbles are definitely in regards to under-serving some of the characters (especially Chakotay, Tuvok, and Harry) in later seasons.

3. Deep Space Nine: a somewhat obvious pick for top three Trek shows. DS9 has deservedly been getting its praises in recent years for its darker narratives, its bold approach to some of TV's first serialized stories, its exploration of politics & religion, and the masterful way it can bounce between nuanced episodes on serious topics & fun comedy. it flails a little bit in the first two seasons while finding its voice but compared to some of the other shows, it starts off strong and the quality is generally consistent with seasons 4 & 6 being the obvious highlight. however despite the strength of the characters, actors, and writing, there are certainly times when the show fumbles: episodes that get a bit too dark to bounce back from (and aren't followed up on), stories that present some troubling ethics without much pushback, and its fair share of the mediocre scifi mystery episodes seeded throughout 90s Trek.

2. Lower Decks: based on its first season, Lower Decks is a fun but non-serious entry into the Trek pantheon. so it was surprising when what seemed at first glance like a typical irreverent adult animation show, developed so much genuine heart for both the the Lower Decks characters & the wider Trek franchise. Lower Decks could have been an excuse to string together a bunch of fan-servicey references but it becomes genuinely heartfelt with great new characters, fun worldbuilding, actual insightful commentary on existing Trek, and the ability to laugh at itself while still being made with love. while the first two seasons drag it down a little bit (i think they went in too hard with the raunchy comedy vibes), season 3 and especially season 4 are really great especially with the exploration of Mariner's PTSD that strengthens her into one of the best character in Trek.

1. Prodigy: plenty of people have been singing Prodigy's praises since its untimely cancellation and no joke – it is, in my opinion, the best Star Trek show. it is more of a kids oriented show than the other entries on this list (except TAS) but that doesn't mean it lets up on having complex plots & characters. it might be the only Star Trek show that i genuinely believe doesn't have a bad episode (albeit a couple in s1 that are just okay) and s2 as whole is a masterpiece. the only things that let it down in my opinion are: somewhat clunky animation on close-ups (though the background animation is gorgeous) and the plot getting so over complicated by s2 that i had to draw a diagram to keep track of the time travel (and this is coming from someone who loves over complicated time travel stories.)

My Personal Favorite Star Trek Shows:

11. The Animated Series: as i said before – it's fun, i'm glad it exists, it doesn't really offend me, but with the exception of the episode Yesteryear, it doesn't really do anything for me.

10. The Original Series: yeah... i'm sorry. i just don't click with TOS that much (or TOS era in general as you can tell from the rest of this list). i can recognize its importance and there are definitely some episodes i really enjoyed (either for the camp factor or because they're genuinely good) but the majority of the episodes i either don't have much of an opinion on or i think are genuinely bad (in a not fun way). i'm also fine with looking past some of the bigotries of the time but even so the misogyny & racism in the show was just too much for me. sorry.

9. Strange New Worlds: i enjoy SNW for the most part but it's definitely dragged down because 1) i strongly dislike how Spock is written, 2) while i definitely like episodic Trek more, the short episode order does make the episodes i dislike stand out a lot more, 3) a lot of the show is built on nostalgia-bait for TOS era which... i just don't really have. there are great episodes but as a whole, i'm just not attached to it.

8. Discovery: i really disliked the first two seasons of Discovery when i first watched them and though they've grown on me, it's just too dark for me to really get into. seasons 3-5 i like a lot more and i appreciate how earnest & hopeful it is (especially compared to seasons 1 & 2) but the writing can be a bit heavy handed. and as much as i do really love Michael, i definitely prefer shows with a stronger focus on the ensemble as a whole. that said, i am definitely attached to the characters and really love the 32nd century worldbuilding that's done.

7. Enterprise: i'm honestly a bit surprised that i ended up liking Enterprise this much but the fourth season (with the exception of the finale that definitely doesn't exist) is banger after banger. and while the episodes of earlier seasons might be a bit uninspired, the general worldbuilding is genuinely interesting to me with the exploration of Vulcan politics, the Vulcan-Andorian War, the Temporal Cold War, the pre-Federation politics of Earth, and more. i'm also greatly endeared to all the secondary characters (Hoshi & Phlox particularly) which means it's also a shame that the non-Archer, Trip, & T'Pol characters get so little screentime. and while so much of the first two seasons is kinda bleh, the B plots & runners to those episodes end up being really fun and ends up creating a world & characters that feels worth exploring.

6. Prodigy: i think with time (and a possible third season...) Prodigy could become one of my favorite Treks and as i already said – it's very very good. the core cast of characters is really strong with all of them (except for maybe Murf & Jankom Pog) being well developed and compelling. the plot is interesting and feels relatively unique while still feeling like Star Trek at its core. it's also the rare example of a series that has a lot of fan-service while still retaining its identity and the strength of its own characters. ultimately, it ends up ranking lower on here than my more objective tier list because some of the angst & darkness i enjoy in stories doesn't quite deliver (which is very much not a fault of the show since it is a family show), the way Janeway is written doesn't always quite line up with my own view of the character (again, not a fault of the show), and the fact that i just haven't spent as much time with the show & characters yet.

5. The Next Generation: TNG is very much a comfort show to me. i don't have all that much to add from my objective review (there are very bad episodes, very good episodes, but most are somewhere in the middle). i really like all the characters and the behind the scenes friendships really translate well to the screen but none of them really compel me the way characters do further up on this list. i do give the show a lot of credit though for continuing the worldbuilding established in TOS and taking it in a new direction and a new vibes (rather than continuing the space western format) that is hugely influential to all of the shows that came after it.

4. Lower Decks: pretty much the same as my objective review – it's a fun show that ends up finding a good balance of humor, strong characters, and pointed commentary at past Trek shows. it's a show obviously filled with a lot of love for the franchise and i'm very glad it exists. aside from Mariner, i'm not quite as attached to the other characters but i do love them all.

3. Deep Space Nine: as i said before, DS9 is undoubtedly one of the strongest shows in Star Trek. it has the most recurring characters, pretty much all of which i find compelling, and a fantastic cast of regulars as well. the overall plot of the show is incredibly strong and allows it to have a lot of good commentary on imperialism, war, religion, race, and more. it has my two favorite episodes in all of Star Trek (The Visitor and Far Beyond the Stars) and so many other bangers as well. it's the show that first hooked me into Star Trek & the Star Trek fandom and it really is fantastic. the reason it doesn't rank higher here is entirely subjective in that i just don't feel as compelled to explore the characters & fandom as the last two shows on this list. other people have talked about how shows that are too objectively good aren't necessarily the best for fandom and that's how i kind of feel about DS9. it's great. i love it. i'm not necessarily compelled to feel like i have to add to it.

2. Picard: i can recognize that in many ways Picard kinda fails as a show (for reasons i've already stated) but that absolutely does not stop me from loving it. it's extremely messy and i've wanted to fix it ever since i saw it. it might be an unpopular opinion but the worldbuilding developments in s1 (the destruction of Romulus, the synth ban, the general darkness of the Federation) are incredibly compelling to me and i really do like deconstructing Picard as a character (even if i wish he was in the show a little less). and despite some major inconsistencies between seasons, i find the characters wonderfully rich and well written and every time i watch an episode, i feel like i want to explore them more and more. (not coincidentally, it's also the Star Trek show i've written the most fanfic for.)

1. Voyager: Voyager has enthralled me mind, body, & soul. i've never had such a fast turn around from a show that i was meh about to one that constantly consumed my thoughts. it's undoubtedly imperfect but it's imperfect in a way that i feel compelled to want to study and fix. with the exception of maybe DS9, Voyager has the strongest cast of characters and one of the strongest premises of any show. i firmly believe that Kathryn Janeway is the best (and certainly my favorite) Captain in all of Star Trek and most of the characters rank among my favorite Trek characters of all time. even if there aren't a ton of obvious ongoing narratives, the subtle ways the characters change over the 7 years is great and leaves the door open for fandom to explore so much (which as you can tell is definitely something that draws me to a lot of shows). and while DS9 might have my favorite episode of Star Trek, Voyager ends up having more stories that rank amongst my favorites (Year of Hell, Latent Image, Endgame, Barge of the Dead, Bride of Chaotica, Riddles, Survival Instinct, Timeless, etc).

anyways.... that sums that up. i'll probably type up my list of favorite episodes sometime in the next few days because i need to milk the "i watched all of Star Trek" thing for a little bit.

[breelandwalker]

Flower Moon - May 5, 2023

Ready your gathering baskets and your best shoes for traipsing, witches - it's time to greet the Flower Moon!

Flower Moon

The Flower Moon gives us the fulfillment of the first flush of the Pink Moon, with fragrant blossoms greeting us at every turn and heralding the merry month of May. The floral name for this particular cycle is shared by a number of indigenous nations, include the Algonquin, Anishnaabe, and Dakota. Other names include Budding Moon and Frog Moon (Cree), Planting Moon (Dakota and Lakota), and the Moon of Mulberry (Choctaw).

European names for this moon include Milk Moon (Anglo-Saxon) and Hare Moon (Celtic, allegedly). Modern pagan circles sometimes call it the Grass Moon as well, since the flourishing of grasslands is more common in some areas than the appearance of flowers.

Notes: This year, there is a Penumbral Lunar Eclipse accompanying the Flower Moon. This is a barely visible shadow on the full moon which will be visible largely in the Eastern Hemisphere. Check your local astronomical forecast to see if it will be visible in your area.

This full moon peaks during daylight hours in the Western Hemisphere (around 1:35pm EDT), so the moon may appear to be full on both the nights of the 4th and 5th. It also falls about three-quarters through a Mercury Retrograde, so take whatever steps you deem appropriate.

What Does It Mean For Witches?

As we pass the spring rites and move toward the summer season, it's the perfect time to celebrate your growth and the ways in which you want to flourish. This is the season for romance and love, and not just that which comes when we put on flower crowns and go a-Maying. This is a time to love ourselves as much as each other, and to be reminded of our own beauty and strength. Remember the things you love about yourself and consciously take a moment to remind your loved ones how much you care for them.

It is also a time to celebrate fertility, be it animal, vegetable, mineral, or spiritual. Put new plans into action, start that project you've been meaning to do, embark on that new hobby or activity you wanted to try. If you have a long-term goal or a big project, now is the time to outline your path to completion and plan how to direct your energy so you don't burn out halfway through. Don't hold back - break through the walls of imposter syndrome and anxiety, indulge in your creative urges, and let your inspiration soar. What you choose to plant and nurture now determines what you will harvest later in the year. And above all, remember to have FUN!

What Witchy Things Can We Do?

If you've been feeling the urge to do some flower-related magic, now is the perfect time! Familiarize yourself with the wildflowers in your area and if possible, maybe grab your basket and scissors and go on a foraging trip. Remember to properly identify flowers before picking them, don't overharvest, and don't take anything from private property without permission or from national parks full stop. You can press the flowers with a notebook and something flat and heavy, or you can dry them in hanging bunches, in a cardboard tray, or in a low-temp oven for later use.

This is also a good opportunity to get your hands in the dirt and connect with the land where you live. If there are plants in your care, take a little time to do some pruning and watering. Check them for spring pests and treat where needed. Give them some love - talk to them, sing to them, encourage them to grow tall and strong and abundant. Bless them as you tend their plots and reaffirm your commitment to be a good caretaker.

As an exercise, try making flower crowns, garlands, bouquets, wreaths, or centerpieces using plant correspondences, flower language, or color magic for a desired effect. This can be done with real flowers or silk ones, depending on how long you want to keep them around. Try your hand at making flower water with roses or other blooms - it makes a wonderful base for moon water!

Experiment with recipes for dishes and drinks that use edible flowers too! Whether it's color-changing butterfly peaflower tea, sweet and peppery nasturtium, adorable pressed pansy shortbread cookies, or the tried-and-true comforts of chamomile, flowers have many tasty secrets to offer. Don't be afraid to add botanicals to your health and beauty routine as well! (Just make sure nothing's going to negatively interact with your meds or irritate a pre-existing condition. Safety first!)

Whether you do so with your near-and-dear, your witchy circle, or by yourself, celebrate everything that blooms - including you!

Happy Flower Moon, witches! 🌕🌼

Further Reading:

Flower Moon: Full Moon in May 2023, The Old Farmer's Almanac

Moonrise and Moonset Calculator, The Old Farmer's Almanac

Flower Meanings: Symbolism of Flowers, Herbs, and More Plants, The Old Farmer's Almanac

Floriography, the Language of Flowers, AllFlorists.co.uk

Flower Moon: The Astonishing Full Moon of May 2023, The Peculiar Brunette

How to Dry Flowers 5 Ways, MasterClass, June 7, 2021

DIY Floral Water or Hydrosol, Patti Estep, Hearth and Vine, July 4, 2021

17 Edible Flower Recipes, Better Homes and Gardens, March 8, 2022

Everyday Moon Magic: Spells & Rituals for Abundant Living, Dorothy Morrison

(If you're enjoying my content, please feel free to drop a little something in the tip jar or check out my published works on Amazon or in the Willow Wings Witch Shop. 😊)

[disneytva]

Variety Interviews Ayo Davis, Meredith Roberts And Emily Hart On Disney Television Animation's 40th Anniversary And What To Expect On From The Past, Present And Future

40 years ago, Disney TVA was founded on the heels of challenging outcomes with features “The Fox and the Hound” and “The Black Cauldron.”

Initially, Disney TVA was restricted from using established Disney legacy characters, but nevertheless had huge successes with new shows like “The Wuzzles” and “Adventures of the Gummi Bears,” both of which became popular in syndication. As time went on, DTVA was able to use its limited rights to create shows like “DuckTales” and “TaleSpin,” which featured Disney characters. Today, the slate has evolved to include shows that travel across Disney’s streaming, linear and digital platforms, including Disney+, Disney Channel, Disney Junior and the Disney Parks

Over the 40 years of the studio has collaborated with Walt Disney Imagineering to bring beloved Disney Afternoon characters to the parks as well Mickey And Minnie's Runaway Railway and AquaMouse for the Disney Wish and Disney Treasure cruises from the Disney Cruise & Ships Line as well collaborating with Disney Yellow Two Shoes Team to redesing some heritage characters for the WDW Passholder Magnets.

Disney TVA characters also have gone to the realm of live action. In 2019 Disney Channel brought Kim Possible to the live action world as a Disney Channel Original Movie in 2019. In Spring 2022, Walt Disney Studios brought Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers to a new generation of fans trought a meta-driven live action/animated hybrid film which won an Primetime Emmy Award for Best Feature Film.

In April 2024, it was announced that Kiara from The Lion King II: Simba's Pride created at Disney TVA will make her live action debut on the motion capture/computer animated film "Mufasa The Lion King" with the character being voiced by Blue Ivy Carter. In Fall 2023, it was announced that Blumhouse Television and Atomic Monster where developing a live action reboot of Gargoyles for Disney+.

The future of the studio looks bright as the studio is slated to debut it's 100th show overall "StuGo" in 2025, as well new interations of beloved classics like The Proud Family, Phineas And Ferb, Sofia The First and Darkwing Duck trought revivals,reboots and spin-offs in the coming years with early talks of new interations of TaleSpin, Kim Possible and Recess since Early 2023.

“We have a wildly diverse development slate because we don’t have a house style,” says Meredith Roberts, executive vice president, television animation, Disney Branded Television and CEO of Disney Television Animation “Our styles are creator-driven, so that allows for real support of the artist or creator to fulfill his or her vision. Anything is possible, whether it's CGI. (“Monsters at Work”), hand-drawn 2D (“Big City Greens”,"Primos","Hailey's On It!"), rig-based 2D (“Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur”,"Kiff") and stop-motion (“Mickey Saves Christmas”,"Rhona Who Lives By The River".). Roberts continues, “We really try and solve all the problems and develop it. We look at the scripts and the story arcs. Every project has to have a strategy behind it that will complement the slate and separate it from other things. Each project has a distinct swim lane to attract an audience. And we’ve learned to meet the kids where they are, in terms of streaming and YouTube.”

Co-viewing, the viewership that happens when adults sit down to watch a DTVA show with the kids in their lives, is part of the studio’s secret sauce and long-term strategy. Many of the shows are written with jokes and plot points for both audiences so both groups will return.

“We double down on the kids and family space,” says Roberts. “We’re not just dipping a toe in the water. We’re diving in. I think we’ve seen a lot of churn with the competition, who just don’t have the patience to develop and are for this audience, which is a very specialized kid audience and co-view audience.” ("The Witchverse", "Rhona Who Lives By The River","InterCats","Fantasy Sports") Roberts reflects: “I think one of the things I’m most proud of is how stable Disney TVA has been for the last 40 years despite a lot of outside churn of the animation industry. Many of our crews feel that Disney is their forever home. I think the excitement they have to illustrate and create with this brand has been terrific because it’s harder to be funny and clean. And nowhere are we tearing down people to get that laugh. I think that’s the beauty of a Disney animated show.”

DTVA also sought to meet kids where they are by making their audience — which is made up of the most diverse generation in history — feel seen, with series such as “Elena of Avalor,” which featured Disney’s first Latina princess, and “The Proud Family,” franchise focused on the life of a teenage Black girl.

“We do have an amazing insights team that are constantly in the field, giving us general information about how kids are watching content, what they’re into,” Emily Hart (VP of Current and Development - Disney Junior) says. “Some of those things are evolving, as we know the ways kids consume content is changing. But there are some universal truths about kids, and it’s great to have that reinforced. Kids still like a lot of the same things that we like. So, there’s a combination that we’re always tracking with every new idea, and we do pilot testing. We get to sit down and talk about the content, and we invite our creators in so they can see the kids talking about it because they’re the audience and they’re the truest test of if the story is going to work.”

Ayo Davis, president of the Disney Branded Television and VP of Current and Development at Disney Television Animation says the division is a “driving force” for memorable kids and family entertainment.

“All of us at Disney Branded Television are so proud of the studio’s 40-year legacy as it continues to entertain future generations with shows like ‘Kiff,’ ‘Big City Greens’ and ‘Mickey Mouse Clubhouse 2.0" --- Davis says.

Those creators who come to DTVA often stay for a long time, partnering with the studio on a variety of different projects or expanding on a hit and reimagining it for the next generation of viewers. “The Proud Family” was a standout in 2001 on Disney Channel. Creator and executive producer Bruce W. Smith is now working on the Emmy-winning “The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder,” which is based on the original series. The show follows Penny Proud as she navigates family life and her own childhood.

“Being at Disney TVA has allowed me to realize all my artistic dreams,” says Bruce W. Smith. “As a kid, you always have hopes, thoughts, dreams, ideas and characters that can help lay out those ideas in your head. Disney has allowed me to really tap into my creative instinct, at the end of the day, you have to learn how to trust yourself. Meredith Roberts has been a true shepherd for me in all of this, allowing me to stretch my wings. Because of her belief in me and my ideas, she’s really allowed me to blossom as an artist. All that happened at DTVA.”

“They really seem to be a place that welcomes your ideas,” Dan Povenmire says of Disney TVA. “They want to find people with real strong ideas of the stories they want to tell, and then they let them tell those stories for the most part. They seem to put storytelling and characters over anything. With [‘Phineas and Ferb’], we would write jokes for the kids and the adults in the room because we knew the adults would be there too. We were just careful not to do any double entendres.”

[leopauldelr]

The beginner's guide to the Pretty Series

With the recent announcement of the new Pretty Series installment titled Himitsu no AiPri, it's about time the Pretty Series returned after over a year since the Waccha PriMagi! series finale. In celebration of the newest installment, let's take a quick history lesson about the Pretty series.

The Pretty Rhythm Saga (2010-2014) - The Pretty Series saga began on July 15, 2010 with the arcade game titled Pretty Rhythm Mini Skirt. Made by Takara Tomy and developer SynSophia, this arcade game pits players in the role of Prism Stars, performing Prism Jumps, and collecting Prism Stones.

While the one that started it all made a slow start, the folks from Takara Tomy wanted to do more with the Pretty Rhythm saga, and with that, a TV anime titled Pretty Rhythm Aurora Dream was made. Aired in TV Tokyo on April 9, 2011, for 51 episodes, this anime is the fruit of Japan-Korea collaboration thanks to Japan's Tatsunoko Production and South Korea's Dong Woo Animation. The TV anime is all about Aira, Rizumu, and Mion in their quest to take on the prestigious Prism Queen Cup.

As Aira Harune's journey to become Prism Queen is completed, Mia Ageha takes the baton as the star of the next Pretty Rhythm story; Dear My Future. Aired in TV Tokyo on April 7, 2012, for 51 episodes, Dear My Future centers on the rivalry between Prizmmy☆ and the K-Pop group PURETTY. Believe it or not, there are real-life versions of the groups as seen in the anime. There's even a live-action segment featuring Prizmmy☆ as well.

As Mia Ageha's road to Grateful Symphonia is well and truly over, Naru Ayase steps to the spotlight in the third and final chapter of the Pretty Rhythm saga, titled Rainbow Live. Aired in TV Tokyo on April 6, 2013, it features an original storyline unlike the previous two. It's about Naru, An, and Ito, who are working together at the Prism Stone Shop while trying to take good care of a mysterious girl named Rinne.

Although the Pretty Rhythm saga ended, the story continues with the KING OF PRISM spinoff films featuring male characters from the Pretty Rhythm saga. They even got a 2019 anime show as well showcasing the rise of the boys who would be Septentrion.

The PriPara saga (2014-2018, 2021~) After the end of the Pretty Rhythm saga,  the folks of Takara Tomy prepped up what it seems to be the second generation of the Pretty series. It's called PriPara and it aired on TV Tokyo in the Summer of 2014 and lasted for three seasons, four if you count Idol Time PriPara of course. This anime series centers on the life and times of Laala Manaka, a little girl who wants to be the best PriPara idol. Together with Mirei Minami and Sophy Hojo, they became SoLaMi Smile and they fought their way against the best idol teams of PriPara, especially Dressing Pafe consisting of Dorothy, Reona, and Sion, Tricolore, and Gaarmageddon, among many others. PriPara is a huge win for the people behind it and such success prompted the show to spawn four movies and outrageous merchandising rights.

In the spring of 2017, the next chapter of PriPara begins with three new main characters penning the final pages of this saga. Titled Idol Time PriPara, it's all about Yui Yumekawa, whose fateful encounter with Laala Manaka changed everything following an accident. With Nino Nijiiro and Michiru Kouda joining alongside, the MY☆DREAM trio made the best closure to this saga.

Although the PriPara TV series is finished, the story continues with Idol Land PriPara. First announced in December 2020, it was originally slated to be released in the spring of 2021 until it became subject to long gestation and delayed launch dates. It was released on August 17, 2023. It is the second official PriPara app game after the defunct PriPuz puzzle app game. This app game also features an original anime series set moments after the events of Idol Time PriPara. It introduces new characters such as Amari Katasumi, Mario, and Pololo, among others.

The Kiratto PriChan years (2018-2021) - Aired in TV Tokyo since April 2018 for three seasons, Kiratto PriChan is set in a world where fame comes from social media just like in the real world. It's about a group of girls who called themselves the Miracle☆Kiratts who are striving to become the best PriChan idols above the rest. For three seasons, we watched Miracle Kiratts taking on big challenges such as heated competition with rival teams such as Meltic StAr and Ring Marry, the jewel idol competition, saving the world, the road to the Queens Grand Prix, and saving the world...again, while they do what they do best; showcasing the world that they're the best PriChan sensations ever known.

PriMagi (2021-2022) - Waccha PriMagi! is the fourth installment of the Pretty Series that revolves around the lives of Primagistas striving to become the best of the best. The show is about Matsuri Hibino, a middle-schooler who dreams of being the best just like her idol, the legendary Jennifer Sumire Sol.

AiPri - After over a year of void, the Pretty Series has returned with the newest installment coming to TV Tokyo this April 2024. Titled Himitsu no AiPri, the new series stars Minori Fujidera as Himari Aozora and Sae Hiratsuka as Mitsuki Hoshikawa. For the first time in Pretty Series, the animation sequences were provided by OLM, the studio behind the Pokemon and Yo-Kai Watch anime series, while South Korea's Dongwoo A&E returned to cooperate for it.

Welcome back, Pretty Series! The world can't wait for the franchise's comeback show this April.

[redhatmeg]

This year actually funny thing happened...

Back in spring-summer I've made a series of polls to determine which Polish school reading from which literature period was the worst. The culmination was, of course, a poll about the worst Polish school reading ever.

The book that "won" was Chłopi (The Peasants) by Władysław Raymont. Now, the book itself tells a story about the old guy Boryna who marries a younger woman and soon said woman has an affair with his adult son. There are other things happening, like conflict between villagers and local landowner, and Boryna being worried that his own son will send him to beg for money (as many older villagers were by their uncaring family members), but the main plot is triggered by Boryna remarrying. There are four parts of the book, coresponding with each season.

Chłopi actually won Nobel Prize back in a day for presenting authentic view of the Polish countryside. The thing is this book is really hard to read nowadays because of its stylized langauge. I myself tried to read it couple of times for school and failed miserably. So I wasn't surprised that it was elected as the worst Polish school reading EVER.

Now, fastforward to October and lo and behold, we've got this:

In the year of our Lord 2023 people are talking about Chłopi positively again, because of this highly stylized movie made by the same guys who did Loving Vincent. While Loving Vincent was an animation done to resemble van Gogh's paintings, Chłopi were done to look like paintings of Józef Chełmoński (who also specilized with depicting Polish countryside).

Anyway, the adaptation of the worst Polish school reading is hailed as one of the best movies this year. So yeah, it's a weird moment to be a Pole.

[mania-sama]

feel how the winter succumbs to the spring

Caesar - The Oh Hellos

➼ information ❧ Voltron ❧ Pairing: Keith/Lance, Allura & Hunk & Keith & Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt & Shiro ❧ Tags: episode: s07e04: the feud!, light angst, character study (sort of), hopeful ending, introspection, ptsd in the form of game shows, pining, extended metaphors, keith has issues ❧ Summary: Keith lied about his reason for choosing Lance during Bob’s twisted game show. He comes to some revelations while he contemplates his answer. ❧ Word Count: 3,498 ❧ Cross-posted from Archive of Our Own ❧ Original post date: 18 January 2023

Keith thought he was enjoying himself the least out of everyone on his team.

Their whole situation was a mess. Keith had liked game shows when he was younger, back when he would watch them on the shitty TV his father owned. It wouldn’t receive signals half the time, and when it had managed to show something on the screen, it had only ever been at half volume. Despite the visceral rage it would cause the two of them, they found that watching game shows on the few channels they owned soothed their nerves.

Game shows only served to elicit painful memories for Keith now, so he turned away if he ever saw one playing. He would listen in on a nearby conversation rather than the over-animated host on the screen. The images of his laughing father would be stomped out of his mind with heavy feet.

All in all, he was having a pretty terrible time participating in this alien game show. It actually wasn’t the threat of a lifetime of imprisonment looming over the team’s head that caused him the most anguish. It was Lance.

Emotions weren’t Keith’s strong suit. They hadn’t been when he was a kid before his father died, and they certainly hadn’t gotten better afterwards. When he looked at Lance, he felt frustration and something else—something that he hadn’t been allowed to feel—meld together to create one chaotic mess of heated body parts and cross-eyed stares. This stupid, godforsaken game show was throwing everything for a loop, just as it always did when his emotions started to separate and show their true colors.

Though Lance didn’t say much of anything after his original comment on the liquid, which had something to do with exfoliation, it was obvious that he was beginning to feel true pain. His face was scrunched up and he started to paddle the green acid to keep his head in the air. His encased feet couldn’t be helping the matter since it had a tendency to lean him one way or another. He let out a nearly inaudible hiss of pain that nobody but Keith seemed to recognize.

There was also the fact that there was a missing patch of skin on his exposed hands, the acid having eaten away at the fabric of his gloves. Lance seemed aware of this, too, but he was forced to keep his hands on the liquid to prevent his head from falling under.

As the team leader, he was meant to keep a level head. And he did. For the most part. On the outside, he tried to help as best as he could, staying calm and collected in order to keep the rest of his team the same way. For a second he thought it worked; when Pidge tackled Bob and demanded to let the team leave, he thought he was going to jump from his own skin from elation.

Then everything was set back to rights in less time Keith needed to scream. PIdge was back at his side, her feet encased just like the rest of them. Keith felt hope drain from his body so fast it was as though it had never been there at all. He almost didn’t want to look ahead of him and see Lance drowning in the acid, his face red from eaten flesh.

“It looks like the Paladins have just made it into the final round!”

Only when he did let himself spare a glance, he realized that there wasn’t a tank at all. Lance, in all his confused and pained glory, was carefully touching his face on the other side of Pidge. He appeared just as shocked as Keith felt, his armor fully restored and skin completely untouched.

Keith’s heart was trying to escape his chest, either by beating its way out or by climbing up through his throat. The lights were too bright, the foot restraints were too tight, and there were too many people in the room. Keith liked to be alone. He hated all of these things, and yet they all became a thousand times worse when he came to grips with the fact that they really could just be here, stuck playing this game for an eternity.

‘Final Round’ meant nothing to Keith whenever everything changed and moved so quickly. They could be in this final round for as long as the host wished.

He could be forced to watch Lance drown in acid again, watch him become overheated in the isolation tube as he was forced to sift through his obviously shitty memory, and watch him fail. It was bad enough with their sworn enemies resurrected. It was worse when it was the one person who Keith could never get his heart straight about.

“One of you will now be allowed to leave the game,” Bob said, floating over to them on his UFO. His grin was cocky, and his voice grated against Keith’s brain like chalk against a board. “The rest of you will be staying here with me forever.”

Keith wanted to get them all out of there. He had half a mind to call the host back after he floated away, demanding that he flip the script. One of them has to stay there while the rest get to leave. Of course, he would make sure the one that has to stay be himself. It was fair. However, Bob didn’t seem to be in the business of fairness.

“You have blazzle hoochas to write down your choice for who should get to escape on the screen in front of you.” Blue dividers came up between the Paladins suddenly, scaring Keith more than he’d like to admit. Ever since he’d become a Paladin of Voltron, he’d been jumpy and terrified of almost every step and decision he made.

Not that he’d tell anyone that, though. It felt nice to be able to say it to himself—it meant he wasn’t hiding from the truth as much as Shiro liked to tell him he was.

“Go!”

Music started playing, not too dissimilar from Jeopardy!, one of the game shows that he used to watch with his father.

Keith stared at his blank screen, willing his mind to become clear. But now that the music was blasting in his ears, and all he could see were the contestants on the quiz show writing down their final answer. They would take a calculated risk with their current scores, putting hundreds to thousands of dollars on their answer. Some would risk nothing, and others would risk it all.

His father would grumble and talk to Keith about what he thought the answer to the big question was. He was never right, and neither was Keith, but it was always fun to try. They would cringe when the contestants wagered their entire worth on their score, only to get it wrong. Or they would gawk at the ones that did the same and got it right.

Keith hadn’t been able to properly keep track of their scores during this game show. It was in currency that he didn’t have a strong grasp of, and they didn’t have any individual scores themselves. There was nothing for Keith to wager outside of freedom.

The thought came to his mind only once to put himself down as the answer. He could find a way to save the rest of his team. Or maybe he would abandon them all and choose to live with his mother, finishing off their loose ends with the Blade of Marmora instead of returning permanently to Earth with Shiro.

His dad had loved Krolia. Keith didn’t have as strong feelings, despite the time they’d spent on the giant space worm. For once, he actually did want to sort out his emotions concerning his mother. He liked her as a person, but the strong warmth of a mother-son relationship was only a flame to him. It should be a burning bonfire. It could be, if he fostered it with proper ventilation and tinder.

His own wants didn’t matter as much as his teammates did. They had families they lived with their entire lives, goals they strived to achieve. The reasons for them to leave severely outweighed his own, so he let the selfish thought of writing his own name down leave his mind with the grace of a crook getting thrown into jail.

He leaned over the blue dividers for a second, letting himself spare a glance at all of his teammates. He knew them all like the back of his hand; it was a requirement of him for being not only a leader, but a friend.  

He never thought that he’d actually ever manage to get one. He’d spent so long in the desert with only his dad that he’d fundamentally lacked the social skills to make friends. Then, as the anger seeped in to replace any other emotions he could feel after his parent died, any potential ability to develop a sociable persona went down the drain.

Shiro helped, but he didn’t make Keith sociable. He made Keith tolerable. Then Shiro disappeared and everything they’d built fell apart. 

He didn’t know how the Voltron Paladins became his friends with him, and he didn’t know why they still liked him after he practically abandoned him. However, that wasn’t something he had to understand. What he did need to sort out was why, when he put his alien pen to the screen in front of him, he was spelling out Lance’s name on autopilot.

At first, he only allowed himself to think the obvious: he wrote down Lance’s name because he was Keith’s right hand man. As the new Red Paladin, he took over all responsibilities the current Black Paladin handed down to him. They’d built a trust that only they could have as the roles they filled in the team.

However, as he stared at his quivering hand, he knew that wasn’t the case. It would ultimately make more sense to have Allura leave the game. She could reassemble the Voltron Coalition again, and probably make it better than it was before.. She was a diplomacy master. Between her and Coran, they would ensure peace for the entire universe. She was a natural-born leader.

Both Pidge and Hunk made sense to choose to leave the game. Hunk could make friends with anyone. Even if he wasn’t a diplomat like Allura, he could certainly lead a squadron or army with efficiency. If he couldn’t do that, it wouldn’t take him long to find someone who could. He had an innate ability to sense who was and wasn’t trustworthy, even when the rest of the team was being led blind.

Pidge was the smartest of them all. She could probably dismantle this game show’s entire security system before the first hour of their doomed eternity was over. She would find her way back to Earth now that she didn’t have the weight of her team holding her back, and she would build a new world with her family.

So why, why did he write down Lance’s name?

Keith never had a waking moment since they’d rescued Shiro that he wasn’t frustrated at Lance. Either the other Paladin was mocking his hair or trying to one-up him in whatever they were doing. For a long time, they hadn’t been compatible at all, despite the way their Lions had always complimented each other’s abilities, or the way their bayards were made to have one another’s backs in battle.

It was always one competition to another, one insult to the next. Keith was prone to anger, and Lance thrived off of conflict.

And yet.

Keith was ready to jump over his contestant stand as Lance continued to shout out horribly incorrect answers to his drawings. He knew that they didn’t look that bad, and that Lance’s art comprehension was at the same level as a toddler. Hell, a toddler would’ve done better at guessing than Lance had done.

In the next moment, he was ready to tear out his hair as Lance struggled to name the people they’d met in their time in Voltron. It wasn’t his fault, not really; they had met a lot of aliens since they’d become Paladins, and Lance was already known to not have the best memory out of all of them. It was terrible luck that he’d been picked out of all of them.

It wasn’t the same frustration as before. He knew this because he wasn’t angry at Lance, he was scared for what was to come if he couldn’t answer the questions correctly. Then the worst did happen, and Keith was frustrated because he could only watch as his friend was slowly burnt in acid.

Frustration wasn’t the right word anymore. He knew that because his hands were shaking, his vision was blurry, and his handwriting was all crooked and wrong.

Lance was the hardest for Keith to get along with out of everyone in Voltron, but perhaps that made the most sense for why he wanted Lance to be able to escape shackled eternity the most.

He had trouble with his father in the past. From what he could remember, he wasn’t the happiest child, constantly upset at one thing or another, switching moods left and right. It must’ve been a living hell for his dad. Yet, Keith found that there was no-one else he would’ve chosen to be his father.

For a while, it had been an uphill battle with Shiro. He’d stolen his car, fought with him, screamed at him, and definitely tried to physically assault him on a few occasions. There was no-one Keith would’ve picked to be his mentor and older brother.

He had to work for those relationships. He didn’t click immediately with anyone, but it hadn't been hard to get along with Pidge, Hunk, and Allura. They had their ups and downs, sure, and the whole half-Galra thing certainly threw a wrench between him and Allura for some time, but they had come out with a stronger friendship.

It had taken so long for him to go just one day without arguing with Lance over one thing or another. They had been terrible teammates, and it had brought the whole team down. It was either get along or fail as Voltron Paladins. Somehow, Keith thought, that didn’t make them progress any better.

Keith and Lance built a castle. It was made of sand with a water moat running around and through the middle. It often became mud, and their clumsiness knocked over their hard work constantly. Even now, as they continued to build something grander than it was, they continued to mess up certain portions.

Keith often yelled at Lance to put some sand somewhere else on the castle. Lance would tell Keith to stop stepping on the moat. Their arguments made their castle strong. They saw what was damaged easily by their stomping and waving hands, and they replaced it with different sand. They made little people to defend the castle and to live in it.

It wasn’t finished. It had potential, but Keith was holding them back from finishing it. He was scared of what would happen when they put a flag on top of it, when they added the final touches to the swords the defenders held and the curtains on the windows. He was scared that it would all come tumbling down, and Lance would never attempt another sand castle with him again.

Hunk had chosen Allura to leave the game. His explanation made sense; it was nothing Keith disagreed with.

Keith thought that Lance was becoming a better leader than Keith was now. Perhaps they’d always been at the same level; when Keith was hot-headed and couldn’t make decisions, Lance couldn’t formulate a plan and didn’t take anything seriously enough. Now, though, Keith would leave Voltron in the hands of Lance in a heartbeat.

It was trust, he realized. He had trusted Allura with the Castle of Lions and the Voltron Coalition. But now, the castle was disintegrated and the Galra Empire’s leaders had been overthrown. Keith trusted Lance to take care of what was left, not lead something new.

Allura selected Pidge. Her reasoning had been more personal—she wanted to savor the legacy of her father. Keith thought that his personal reasons for choosing Lance were different.

No-one else could tell Shiro what happened to the team, what happened to Keith. There was no-one else that could tell his own mother what happened to her son. Lance was the only person that could deliver the message, because he was the only person in the room that knew Keith because they’d become each other’s backs. When they failed, they turned to each other as though they were the only two that mattered.

Keith trusted Lance with guiding Shiro back to Earth and bringing Krolia wherever she wanted to go. He trusted Lance to fix what Keith couldn’t, to accomplish what Keith couldn’t. Perhaps his and Allura’s reasonings weren’t so different after all.

“I voted for Keith,” Lance said, his voice the strongest it had been the entire night. Keith thought he was going to explode from where he was standing. He failed to hear most of what Lance said, thought he did manage to catch the last part. “He’s like the future.”

Maybe that was where they differed. Where Lance thought Keith was the future of the universe, Keith knew that Lance was the future of Keith’s world. There would always be an argument between them, and if they somehow made it out of the game alive, Keith planned to start a disagreement over why he would ever consider sending Keith out of the game instead of anyone else.

Although, he couldn't truly say they argued anymore. They would bicker, but nothing heated like they used to. The heat Keith when he so much as looked at Lance wasn’t from frustration, then.

Bob turned to Keith. “Keith, the leader, who do you think deserves to make it out of here, huh?”

Keith hated the way the host sounded, like he knew everything about everyone. Like how he enjoyed torturing Lance and stressing Keith out. The pedestal pinged in front of Keith, and the surprise on Bob’s face sent a wave of anger down his spine.

“Lance? Why Lance?”

There were a thousand things he could say. He had come to the sudden, horrible realization that he wasn’t frustrated at Lance like he always assumed he was. Keith was in love, and that was horrifying.

Lance didn’t deserve to be trapped in the game show for eternity. He deserved to go back to Earth and live with his family. Perhaps he could finish off his schooling in the Garrison and finally put out his middle finger to Keith and say, ‘See, I am the best fighter pilot of our class!’

Lance deserved happiness, and he knew that he wouldn’t get that staying in this game show for the rest of their lives. The revelation was a little too much for him to comprehend, and he did the one thing he always did: fall back to familiarity of red, hot anger.

“I just don’t wanna be stuck here for eternity with Lance,” he said with ire, upset at Bob and upset that he could never say what he meant because his ability to handle his own emotions was embarrassingly terrible. One could say a toddler could do better than him.

They’d voted for each other. They’d always had each other’s backs, becoming almost one and the same. He hated the way Lance looked at him dejectedly for the reason that Keith voted for him, knowing full well that he had lied through his teeth. It was almost too much to bear.

Pidge had chosen Hunk. Her reasoning went deaf to Keith’s ears as he stared at his hands. His emotions were splayed out in front of him, bleeding out of his heart and staining his gloves.

Bob crowned them winners and not a second later, Keith was waking up in the Black Lion. Groggily, he thought that maybe it was all just a dream. One hell of a dream, but at least he hadn’t said that terribly untrue thing to Lance.

Then Hunk started talking. Keith watched a piece of the castle crumble away, and he knew he would have to patch it up. What he said to Lance was heard. Lance would think that Keith meant his until he would finally replace the missing sand in their castle.

Keith looked out at the beach that housed their castle. It was all-too much for his heart, and he knew that he didn’t have the capacity to ask Lance about finishing it off yet. So, he settled for a compromise.

When we get back to Earth, he thought, I’ll tell him everything. The fate of their castle would come. Keith was done holding back.

[afeelgoodblog]

The Best News of Last Week

Welcome to Feel Good News! Each week, I scour the web to bring you a collection of uplifting and positive news stories. My goal is to provide you with a dose of inspiration and hope to start your week off on the right foot.

This week, I have stories about individuals who are making a difference in their communities, companies that are doing good in the world, and much more. I hope you enjoy reading these stories as much as I enjoyed putting this newsletter together.

Let’s start with:

1. FDA Plans to Allow More Gay, Bisexual Men to Donate Blood

Gay and bisexual men in monogamous relationships would be allowed to donate blood without abstaining from sex under guidelines being drafted by the Food and Drug Administration, people familiar with the plans said.

The change would be a departure from U.S. policy that for many years barred men who have sex with men from donating blood. The FDA policy originated in the 1980s during the AIDS epidemic, when tests for HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, weren’t considered sensitive enough to protect the blood supply.

2. Biden-Harris Administration Makes $50 Million Available to Clean Up Orphaned Oil and Gas Wells on Tribal Lands

There are several thousand orphaned oil and gas wells on Tribal lands, jeopardizing public health and safety by contaminating groundwater, seeping toxic chemicals, emitting harmful pollutants including methane, and harming wildlife. Some of these wells are underwater, which creates an especially high risk of adverse impacts.

3. Golden bandicoots 'breeding rapidly' in the NSW outback 100 years after becoming locally extinct

The first golden bandicoots have been born in NSW's far north-west in 100 years, after formerly being extinct in the region.

Golden bandicoots have been breeding rapidly in Sturt National Park since being introduced to as part of the Wild Deserts project. There are initiatives in place as part of the project to protect native fauna from feral animals. More native species are set be reintroduced to the area and will be confirmed next year.

Cue the Crash Bandicoot references :D

4. Toledo Zoo welcomes twin polar bear cubs

Twin polar bear cubs were born at the Toledo Zoo, the zoo announced Thursday. The parents of the twin cubs are 24-year-old female, Crystal, and 18-year-old male, Nuka.

Crystal’s eighth and ninth cubs’ genders are unknown at this time. They are estimated to make their public exhibit debut in the spring of 2023.

Watch the video of the announcement here:

Feel Good News by Erica @feelgoodnwsToledo Zoo welcomes twin polar bear cubs

5. A Philadelphia woman collects thousands of stuffed animals and brings them to seniors who are in need of a Christmas gift

Santa Claus isn't the only person who travels around with a vehicle full of toys. Every holiday season, Patricia Gallagher fills her car with stuffed animals and drives around Philadelphia. She doesn't give them to kids, she gives them to seniors. 

"Who would think that elderly veterans would want stuffed animals? But they did," Patricia Gallagher said of the project.

6. 150 sea turtles saved from the cold. An aquarium in Boston has been treating "cold-stunned" sea turtles stranded on US beaches.

An aquarium in Boston has been treating "cold-stunned" sea turtles stranded on US beaches. Experts urge the public not to return stranded animals into the water.

Over 150 sea turtles have received treatment this season for "life-threatening medical conditions" prompted by hypothermia in the New England Aquarium, based in the US city of Boston.

7. 'No K-pop on a dead planet': Meet the K-pop stans taking on the climate crisis

What does Kpop4planet do?

Nurul a 23 year old fan from Indonesia and her colleagues have channeled most of their energy into six different climate campaigns. Over 33,000 fans from 170 countries have taken part in them.

The most successful of these has been ‘No K-pop on a dead planet’. It called for K-pop albums to go green by selling digital rather than physical albums, minimizing the packaging and encouraging low carbon performances.

The movement has proved popular with the fandom. For Kpop4planet work two full-time employees along with 20 volunteer ambassadors from nine countries. The group is funded by Action Speaks Louder, a charity registered in Australia who lobby to hold big companies accountable for their climate change promises.

. . .

That’s it for this week. If you liked this post you can support this newsletter with a small kofi donation:

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Have a great week ahead :)