#the beginning is so creepy and the whole song is so chaotic | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

catharsis-in-a-bottle · 4 years ago

Text

AHSDHFHHJKKHD

THE QUEEN’S GAMBIT. WAS SO FUCKING GOOD.

[spoilers below if you haven’t seen it and you want to]

Here are some of my (not in any particular order) bullet points. This is gonna be long as hell because, you know, brain dumps amiright

First off, Anya Taylor-Joy’s acting. Is just incredible. In particular moments, you can tell what she’s thinking with a simple hand gesture or with the tiniest raise of an eyebrow. She develops Beth’s signature facial expressions and movements throughout the show, and you just feel like you know her. And during her chess matches, sometimes it feels like she’s staring into your soul. Especially when she gives that badass chin-on-the-hands look and she knows she’s going to win. Powerful energy.

Secondly, I fucking knew I recognized Harry Beltik from somewhere else but my mom didn’t BELIEVE me and then I looked up the actor and he’s DUDLEY DURSLEY, I WAS RIGHT MOTHER, I WAS RIGHT

I love love love how they didn’t make, like, a major romantic plotline. Beth doesn’t end up with a partner - she ends with a bunch of super supportive friends that have her back by the time she gets to Moscow, and like, she has a crush on Townes but they end up being just like super good and healthy friends and I love it?? So much?? Thank you producers

Townes. Just, in general. I really like his character, he’s super nice and his voice is oddly soothing

BORGOV. I LOVE BORGOV. HE IS SO GODDAMN RESPECTFUL. Like, he seemed like a very cold character at first - well-mannered and extremely professional, yes, but rather cold. But when she wins in Moscow? “It is your game. Take it.” I LOVE THAT SO MUCH. AND HE HUGS HER AND STARTS CLAPPING AND THE AMOUNT OF RESPECT AND ADMIRATION AND AFFECTION IN THAT SCENE IS INCREDIBLE. And you don’t see any of that in Borgov’s face when he’s playing. His facial expressions do not change at all. But then his face when she wins!! He’s HAPPY! He’s like, goddamn, I’ve spent my whole life mastering chess, it’s about time somebody fucking beat me! I know I’m repeating myself but just his RESPECT I absolutely adore it

And Beth’s officer-watcher-person in Moscow was all like “ahhh be wary of the Russians! communism!!” but they absolutely did not make this yet another evil Russian show, like please that trope works for plots but it’s about time somebody did something different - they showed the US government as suspicious of the Soviets but then they showed the solidarity between the chess players that Benny talked about earlier (”The Russians work together, Americans work alone” or something like that), and then they showed the kind and excitable people on the streets, and the amount of support they would have had no matter WHO won that goddamn match. The old man she plays at the end. Everyone is a community.

Continuing that - I cannot for the life of me remember the name of the old man with the very puffy white hair, but I loved him too. He sees Beth as the rising star she is, and he respects her. He admires her. The dynamic there is absolutely immaculate, contrary to the dynamic between Beth and the man she beats earlier, the one who walks off and doesn’t even talk to her. We don’t like that man - we like the ones who admit defeat and respect Beth!! I love them!! They are extremely professional, and they show the warm-heartedness that often doesn’t show with all of the cold stares and glares that pass between players during matches.

Joline. I’m so glad she came back. I love her. She’s extremely independent but she comes back for Beth because Beth needs her but she’s also like “I’m not your savior! Get your shit together!” which is fucking awesome. And the fact that the two of them interacted like the best of friends even after years of separation was really sweet to me.

I nearly cried when Beth went back into the school. (I say ‘nearly’ because there were other people in the room and naturally I can’t do that in front of other people. If I was utterly alone, maybe on my own planet, I would have.) Because of all of it. Because of her trauma, because that’s where all the shit began... and the music during that scene. It was hauntingly beautiful, especially when the melody began switching to cello. And then Beth saw all the pictures and newspaper clips that Mr. Shaibel had saved, because he cared about her so much, because he started it all - he’s the reason she’s going to national tournaments, to Paris, to Moscow. And in that scene, we know he’s too old to be alive anymore, and she does too. The whole school scene in general just feels so ghostly and ethereal.

I love Borgov, did I say that already? I just... strive to exude his energy. I want to be good at things but I want to hold deep, genuine respect and admiration for others who are also good at the thing, because sometimes I just have the biggest fucking ego and I can get carried away. ‘Borgov, Borgov, Borgov.’ A mantra. He wins respectfully and he loses respectfully.

BETH’S MOTHER (the second one) JUST FUCKING DIED OUT OF NOWHERE?? AND I WAS SO SHOCKED? Which is really an accurate reflection of reality because death often comes out of nowhere, but DAMN I was not expecting that shit

And the fact that the mother just,,,, let her chug a beer,,,, oof

THE ADDICTION. BETH’S DOWNWARD SPIRAL. IT MADE ME FEEL SO HORRIBLE BUT IT FELT SO REAL. Everything about her progression through addiction was just... I can’t find an adjective. But when she just fucking inhaled that bucket of pills as a kid and then collapsed. When that addiction lasted into her adulthood - it’s really impactful and horrible and just so real. She needed proper care throughout this entire goddamn show and she never got medical care, she just got supportive friends - which, btw, that’s one thing that kind of threw me off. Like, she didn’t have withdrawal in Moscow, she went from chugging like four bottles of wine a day to... not drinking at all?? Without withdrawal symptoms?? And I’m proud of her for throwing away those pills but honestly it felt really fast, idk

GIVING CHILDREN TRANQUILIZERS WAS AN ACTUAL THING THAT HAPPENED. I DID NOT PREVIOUSLY KNOW THIS. BUT LEGITIMATELY, IT HAPPENED. HOLY SHIT.

HARRY BELTIK. He was like, awkwardly in love with Beth and that shit didn’t work out but even afterwards he FUCKING CARED. He’d seen his father drink himself to death and he knew that would happen to Beth and he was scared. So he came back, he tried to help her, and at that point (when she had that fucking scary eye makeup, yeah that was rock bottom) she didn’t care much about the outside world anymore. She was angry, and she was closing herself in. It made my stomach clench in physical pain. Which is a good thing. But also not.

Harry Beltik in general just being so supportive and wanting to help her though, like yeah it was very awkward, but they were vibing

AND BENNY WATTS IS FUCKING GREAT. THAT WHOLE COWBOY LOOK, COWBOY CHESS PLAYER, NOW THAT’S AN AESTHETIC. He was concerned for Beth too. He wanted to help her. He wanted to create that American solidarity that he knew the Soviet competitors had, and ultimately he did when he and everyone else called her in Moscow. Benny is... chaotic good? Neutral? He is quite an interesting character, and Beth’s persistent social awkwardness fades away with him because he knows how to interact with her. He’s a dedicated and smart narcissist, and I’m here for it.

The fact that they made me love and hate Cleo at the same time, and also question Beth’s sexuality when she first met Cleo. Like, she’s from Paris. She considers ‘tomorrow night’ to be a very long time away. I love her mysteriousness. But also, she was the catalyst for Beth’s downward drinking spiral before the match in Paris, so like... I like Cleo’s personality, but not her choices in those previous moments.

The music. Did I mention the music? The soundtrack. The orchestrals. That one song that the mother plays on piano that I hear all the time and I still don’t actually know what it is PLEASE HELP. The music is melancholy in the right moments, upbeat in the right moments, intense and suspenseful in the right moments - and also absent in the right moments. There’s tacet. There’s silence. And it’s always been my firm belief that silence can hold just as much impact as sound.

Just an interesting note, my mom watched the whole show before me and then re-watched it with me, and when Mr. Shaibel showed up she quickly reassured me that he wasn’t a child molester, because quote “it may be a creepy basement but he’s just really nice” so... I was reassured

I love Mr. Shaibel, and Beth just kept sticking up for him in front of the press and,,, yeah

I hated that bitch from the high school, what was her name?... The one who showed up in the store with a child? It makes me think about the fact that so many kids are just jerks in high school simply because they can be... and occasionally their fuckery lasts into adulthood but oftentimes it doesn’t. You don’t have to be a jerk when you’re an adult, and you don’t have to be a jerk in high school! People remember, people always remember! So, to the bitch from the high school: fuck you for making Beth feel like an outsider and then trying to reverse gears and accept her, cuz Beth isn’t falling for that shit.

The twins, Matt and Mike. They’re so doubtful of Beth in the beginning but then bam, she’s competing nationally, and I adore how the three of them become friends. All those men playing chess in Kentucky in the beginning seem so condescending, but ultimately they show respect because Beth absolutely fucking deserves it.

I enjoy the fact that we never *really* know Beth’s age. It’s just like... she’s 9, she’s 15, she’s 17, she’s... twenty something? Who the hell knows? As many characters say, when it comes to skill level, age ultimately isn’t an important factor. This young woman beats the oldest man with the bushiest white hair in Moscow and age. Does not. Matter.

The Jesus people lmaooooo when Beth said “because it’s fucking nonsense” I just. Mad respect ma’am, don’t take their money, go be a communist and “sPrEaD tHe aThEiSt AgEnDa”

Wow I really just... wrote all that didn’t I damn wish I could write essays this fast at reasonable hours of the day

Beth’s relationship with her foster mother is so fucking sweet until she fucking dies

And fuck Beth’s legal father. He is an asshole. That is all.

The mother deserved Manuel, she deserved that sketchy Mexican salesman goddammit

As my final bullet point: This has made me want to play chess. This has made me want to get good at chess. You know that thing where you like, download the personality of the coolest character for like a day after you watch something... I don’t do that anymore (maybe), but I want to download those mad chess skills. This has made chess seem so cool. I want to wear a fancy suit and compete with people. I just have to, you know, actually develop some strategy and stop losing brutally against people online. I wAnT tO pLaY cHesS dO yOu HeAr mE

I’m going to stop now, but I just,,, peeps, I love this show. I’m absolutely going to require a re-watch in the future. I just love it. The characters and their development, their relationships with each other, the progression of time and of Beth’s maturity... it is simply incredible. This concludes my brain dump.

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willowaudreykeyes · 4 years ago

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Prompt: myths and chaos with Logan with the line “so apparently microwaving this ancient manuscript isn’t a good way to find out its secrets.”

Remus’ Puzzle Temple Of Friendship And Chaos

Warnings: Baby eldritch thing, tentacles, one eye, vague sexual reference that’s from a song

Platonic Logince, brotherly-and-on-good-terms Creativitwins and Intrulogical of whatever relationship interpretation that you want.

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Roman

“Remind me to thank your brother at dinner tonight.”

“That’s if we make it to dinner. And you all call me extra; he made an entire temple for us to explore within a week!” He spent a lot of energy on it too. I still remember the shaky finger he pointed at me after the second day of working on this Incan-like temple; slurring tiredly about not going into the space between our Kingdoms and ruining the surprise. He also forced me to carry him to his room as he dangerously swayed on his feet. I’ll have to thank him by working just as hard for his and Logan’s adventure after the two of us finish this one.

“I know; yet I’ve yet to thank him for doing so. And I must ask how long it took to make this language.” Taking my first glance at said language, I recognise it immediately as the first language that Remus and I had known. We had known it better than English at one point, until Patton insisted that we make English our main language so that we wouldn’t confuse Thomas.

“Oh, we’ve always known it. We used to speak it in front of Patton as kids to confuse him and we still use it occasionally whenever we send a letter, or in his case a slab of mysterious leather, between our Kingdoms.”

“So you can translate this?”

“Of course!” I hold the slightly chipped black and red tablet out at arms length, quickly noticing that everything on the tablet makes no sense. No wonder he was so tired after every day in the Imagination; he even made us a puzzle. “It’s encrypted though, so we have to figure out what the cypher is first. And knowing Remus, it could be anything.”

He takes it from my hands and adjusts his glasses for the fiftieth time today before tapping his chin. I doubt Logan realises that he has so many visual tells when he becomes passionate and interested. “He would leave a clue somewhere where we could find it. He’s chaotic, not unfair.”

“Aha!” In a spark of inspiration, I rough up my hair and gain a huff of defeat from the neighbourhood nerd as I do the same to his own. It had dust from the temple in it anyway. “We just have to think like Remus! Now what’s the most logical place to put a cypher for this thing?”

“Where we found it.”

“Okay. Now what’s the opposite of that?”

His eyebrows do that cute thing where they pinch down a bit when he’s confused. I don’t bother hiding my smile as his eyes shift around, taking in invisible words as he tries to find my line of thinking. “I’m… not following. The opposite of where we found it is every room that we didn’t find it in, and we went through forty-three rooms and eight hallways; perhaps half or less of the entire temple judging by the size and spacing between each room.”

“And only twelve not-too-tough traps, which is less then his usual quota…” Probably because of the exhaustion, but I should have figured that out earlier. I’ll up the level of hazards in his next one as a double thank you for his hard work. “Anyway, we must think chaotically if we are to beat the chaotic one!”

With a silent nod, he attempts to fix his hair as I take in our camp and the temple before us. It’s very reminiscent of an Incan temple in design yet is mainly made out of pitch black obsidian; with intricate wall carvings engraved with pure ruby, emerald, moonstone and diamond; and a whole lot of animal and human skulls that are packed tightly into every ceiling. And I must say, adding the creatures from both of our Kingdoms as the wall carvings is a nice touch.

Except I won’t say it out loud because the majority of them are of naked people, naked cannibals and of naked murders.

At least our camp has some more class to it! Logan wished for something realistic, but was soon swayed by my enchanted Harry Potter tent that’s magically large enough to have a working bathroom and still look like a ‘regular’ camping tent from the outside. I do like regular camping, but I prefer to have a shower after a tub of Thomas-knows-what is dropped over us and getting into every uncomfortable crevasse. Just thinking about that disgusting concoction makes me shudder.

“... Perhaps our microwave?”

I snap my gaze back to him, beaming at his rather shy sounding remark. He always sounds shy when he says something that deviates from his path of logic. At least he’s opening up a little more. “Perfect! I knew you’d think of something!”

“It was the first usable thing that I saw. Were you daydreaming again?”

“Nope- Using the microwave to solve a cypher sounds like something Remus’ mind would think up. He did mix sardines, lettuce and one of your ties in the blender before drinking it once.” I mumble the last half -I probably shouldn’t out Remus just yet for drinking Logan’s tie a few months ago- and put the tablet in the microwave and set it to three minutes. Three is the magic number after all.

“Did you say something?”

“Mumbling ideas to myself is all!”

The microwave suddenly glows a bright purple and I manage to drag Logan in close before blocking something from hitting the both of us with my summoned shield. With a pop, crackle, fizz and several loud noises that sound like tearing metal; I risk peeking over it in perfect sync with Logan. The sight of three large tentacles wiggling out of the new holes in the camp's microwave brings out a sigh from me. A very loud sigh. Remus could probably hear it and currently giggling to himself from the comfort of his bedroom.

“It may be best not to touch those. Or the microwave.”

“But the tablet!” Logan pushes by my shield and barely escapes my reach before I am able to pull him away. With a straight posture and a quick slick back of his hair, he opens it and nearly jumps into my arms Scooby-Doo style from the loud pop that occurs. I’m in front of him again within a moment, but the usual feeling of hostility that Remus puts on his dangerous creatures as a warning is lacking. At least this thing won’t try and face-hug me like that faceless chicken that guarded the temple did.

Inside was a brown-black-blue ball of tentacles, with three longer than the others that retract out of the newly-made holes in the microwave. My heart stutters as a singular, goat-like, boysenberry coloured eye opens from one of the many seams in the creature; just to quickly dart it’s vision between the two of us before landing it’s creepy gaze on Logan. “Huh. So apparently, microwaving the ancient manuscript isn’t a good way to find it’s secrets- but a great way to hatch an eldritch abomination.”

“If you’d hand me a blanket, perhaps bringing it with us would be advantageous in future explorations.” Of course he wants to bring the nightmare creature; he always does. I hand him the nearby dish towel instead as I don’t feel like leaving this thing alone with Logan would end nicely.

“As long as you're carrying it.”

“Of course; you’re the one with the sword and shield.” I’m rather sure that that means that he would make me carry the disgusting creature if I wasn’t the one with our only ways of defending ourselves; and I don’t know if I should dramatically put my hand to my chest in horror or just pout.

I go for the pout.

Only for it to be rather rudely ignored as he cradles the little beast in its new home, wrapping it’s longer tentacles around Logan’s hands and attempting to remove his watch for a moment before I manage to grab it before they do. Logan’s too busy holding it in one hand and going through his cue cards to notice though. “And I shall name it as randomly as I can; since Remus seems to name all of his creations.”

“Why?”

“It’s only polite to follow custom; and the custom for Remus is to name his creatures.” I hate everything about this -plus the tablet is just full on missing or destroyed now too- but Logan seems enraptured by the little thing. I roll my eyes and put on my backpack as Logan already begins walking up the temple steps. We just had lunch, so we have a chance of leaving before dinner, but I highly doubt it.

Despite not being able to see, the creature manages to grab out one of the cue cards from Logan’s hand before letting him snatch it back. With a quick smile after reading it, he pockets them all again before getting a better hold of the thing before it runs away and eats a whole deer or something. “It’s name shall be Anaconda-Do-Not.”

God-fucking-dammit Remus. I frown at the thing as we enter the fire-lit entrance, glad that its eye is hidden under the dish towel. Sheep eyes have always kind of creeped me out; especially on things that aren’t sheep. “You’re not allowed to hang out with Remus, Virgil or Janus anymore if they keep giving you those weirder cue cards.”

“This one’s from Remus. It’s a metaphor about-”

“I KNOW WHAT IT IS!” A light pain follows my facepalm, but I ignore it and march onwards. Hoping to get rid of this thing as quickly as possible. “Let’s just… go shove it into a keyhole or something already.”

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By the way, I really hate that stupid Anaconda song and so I know that it’d be perfect for Remus. Hopefully the ending is alright because it was the only bit I really had issues with ^^’

Oh and Remus definitely fell in love with the new Eldritch creatures name.

@ladyedwina @5am-the-foxing-hour @sparrowofsong

#roman sanders #logan sanders #remus sanders #logince #platonic logince #creativitwins #intrulogical #of your choice =p #tw eldritch #tw tentacles #tw one eye #willowkeyes writes

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hunxi-guilai · 5 years ago

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so i'm writing this fic where wei wuxian never gets into demonic cultuvation but he's still a terrible chaos gremlin and he terrorizes the wens during the sunshot campaign with some of his inventions + ambush, sabotage and raid style warfare and it got me to wondering if he was never named 夷陵老祖 he probably would've gotten a title like 含光君 or whatever during the war. i can't decide what that title would be bc he's pure chaos (like no one would name him "light-bearer") any thoughts?

oh that is a fascinating concept anon, hmm...

I’m afraid I don’t have any marvelous perfect magical ideas off the top of my head, but here are some options for directions you could go in?

you could certainly lean into hellish terminology like 阴曹 yincao / hell, the inferno (which gestures nicely at that line when Wei Wuxian confronts Wen Ruohan and says ‘we came from hell’); 幽冥 youming / dark, gloomy, but with that special undertone of underworld vibes; it might be fun (but also borderline sacrilegious, so tread carefully) to give him some kind of title related to 阎罗王 yanluowang, i.e. Yama, the Buddhist king of hell

alternatively, you could move towards terms that are more sensory or visual; Wei Wuxian is heavily associated with the color red, and I’d love to see some kind of visual poetry in a possible title. Unfortunately, my brain is only supplying me with bad puns at this particular moment; 雪花 xuehua / snowflake is a dainty, beautiful term, but 雪 xue / snow is a quick and easy tonal shift to 血 xue / blood, which is unsubtle but the image of vividly scarlet blood pooling across pristinely white snow is one that fits so well with Sunshot-era Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji

what might be even more chilling than either of those two options, though, is to go in the polar opposite direction -- to give Wei Wuxian a title that means something along the lines of lord of mercy or the benevolent one (I’m channeling Scott Lynch’s Gentleman Bastards series right now; the various titles for Aza Guilla, their goddess of death, are the “Lady of the Long Silence” and the “Lady Most Kind,” which is a whole other level of creepy). 垂怜 chuilian / lit. ‘to hand down pity/mercy,’ is one that comes to mind, which I think also appears in Wei Wuxian’s character song

so I’ve been avoiding giving you translations of ‘chaos,’ because the truest translation of chaos would be 混沌 Hundun, which refers to that primeval state of total chaos and disorder before the beginning of the world. It’s kickass and maybe the perfect referent (‘chaos theory’ in Mandarin is 混沌理论 hundunlilun), until you realize that 混沌 hundun is very closely homophonous to 馄饨 hundun/tun, which is... wonton. And that kind of ruins any sort of intimidation factor you might’ve had going

the part of me who loves the inherently chaotic energy of the Zhuangzi wants to suggest a Zhuangzian reference? But aside from the 鹏鲲 pengkun (listen it’s a giant fish that transmogrifies into a giant bird with no explanation) in the opening lines, I’m drawing up a blank

hope that helps! I’m afraid that I don’t have a good answer, but I can always offer a ramble

#ask and ye shall receive #oh man I didn't even get into possible mythical creature allusions but know that could always be an option #it really depends on what vibes of Wei Wuxian you want to lean into #how dark does he become? or does he maintain that element of irrepressible optimism?#how much of his strategy and tactics are reliant on a darker kind of psychological warfare?#I realize I immediately went dark on most of these suggestions but your iteration of Sunshot Wei Wuxian doesn't have to be #anyway #hope this wasn't too late!#Wei Wuxian

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thiswasinevitableid · 4 years ago

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14(+44?), 16, or 71 for indruck! (71 could also be cute for dani/aubrey)

I went with 14, SFW! I’ll also do 16 at some point.

14: The power goes out in our apartment building, but i’m not prepared for this, and you come to check on me

Duck’s playing his old Tony Hawk game just for the hell of it when the power goes. Judging by the suddenly dark building out his window, it’s not just his building, but the whole block.

He’s gonna go out on a limb and assume the huge-ass snowstorm has something to do with it. It’s only six p.m, but it’s so fucking dark his brain thinks it’s midnight, so maybe he can just go to sleep. Thank fuck the heat in this place is gas and not electric.

Duck putters around, refills Taco’s water dish, and changes into his sweatpants and t-shirt, figuring he’ll read on his phone until bed.

There’s a clatter-crash above him, followed by a thud and the kind of curses someone makes when they’re alone.

He takes advantage of living in an old building with thin walls and floors.

“‘Drid? Everythin okay up there, man?”

All the scuffling ceases, then, “As much as it can be.”

Duck grabs the nearest sweatshirt and his keys, tossing another blanket over Taco before heading out the door and up the stairs. See, Duck is a guy with lots of soft spots. And one of those soft spots has “Indrid Cold” stamped into it.

He barely saw the man the first year he lived here, though he heard him plenty. Footsteps at all hours of the night, music that either ping-ponged wildly between genres or stayed on the same song for the whole day, and only ever one voice to go along with it all.

The first time they met, Duck nearly fell off his balcony.

“Those look lovely.”

He drops the watering can, whirling to look up. An angular face with red glasses and a mess of silver hair peers over the edge of the railing above him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to alarm you. I, ah, I just meant the plants are very nice. The rosemary in particular seems to be thriving.”

“Uh, yeah. Thanks. Uh, how long have you been watchin me?” He’s in a tank-top due to the heat, but was shirtless until a few minutes ago.

“A number of weeks. Oh dear, ah, that sounds creepy. I just mean that I can see your deck from mine, and sometimes I end up watching it instead of focusing on my work. I’ve never seen so many pollinators come to such a small space; it’s amazing.”

“Huh.” Duck tongues his cheek, not sure whether to be flattered or alarmed.

“Do you want a Capri Sun? They're cold.”

He chuckles, “Sure, why the hell not? Send one down.”

There’s a plastic thunk and then a beach pail comes down on a rope to deliver his drink.

In spite of that odd start, he and Indrid started talking more, to the point the other man would come down and sit on the balcony while Duck gardened or Duck would sit in Indrids chaotic apartment and read while Indrid did tarot card predictions over the phone. During those five months, he discovered Indrid is a disaster magnet; broken glasses, a broken-into car, an almost broken ankle due to slipping in the first frost of the season. Hence his trip upstairs, just to be sure nothing is wrong.

He knocks, gets a “come in,” and cannot see the other man anywhere. And the apartment is freezing.

“Bedroom!” Indrid calls from down the short hallway. Duck shuts and locks the door, picks his way over crumpled drawings to find his friend no more than a pile of fabric on a mattress on the floor with an unplugged trio of space heaters pointing at him.

“You want me to turn the heater up?”

“You can’t. It’s broken. The repair man was supposed to come this morning but had to cancel because of the roads.” Indrid’s face appears from a black blanket.

“Shit, you got no way to heat the place? My little hand-power radio says this might last until tomorrow mornin.”

“I was afraid of that.” Indrid sighs, “I’ll just hope that the blankets are enough. The bang you heard was me tripping over the one I was wearing as a shawl.”

Duck holds out his hand, “Or you could come a floor down where there’s a workin heater, goofus.”

“I, ah, suppose I could. I won’t be in your way?”

“Just don’t take Taco’s blankets and we’ll all survive the night. Grab whatever you need for the night and I’ll meet you down there.”

As he tromps down the stairs, he reassures himself that he’s just being neighborly; he’d check on anyone in the same circumstances. But his heart still bubbles with excitement when he thinks of Indrid in his house in the snow-covered darkness.

He’s pulling all the blankets from the closet when the door opens and shuts. Even with his heater working, they’ll need to bundle up.

“I’ll just put my things by the couch.”

“Works for meAH, what the fuck?” He pulls his foot back from where a box narrowly missed landing on it. Minor scare aside, he can’t think of anything better to fall from the sky.

“Hey, you like s’mores?”

“...Yes? Though I feel like a campfire, while tempting, is ill-advised.” The other man is perched on the couch, fidgeting with his sweater sleeves.

Duck shows him the box, “Got this at a white elephant swap at work last year and never used it. Supposed to make it so you can make s’mores inside. Wanna try?”

“Absolutely” Indrid tears into the box and begins setting up what looks like a fondue pot’s long-lost cousin, retrieving the matches from their usual spot on the counter while Duck finds the marshmallows, a half box of graham crackers, and left over hershey minis from Halloween.

“Is having s’more supplies on hand a requirement of being a ranger?”

“Trade secret” Duck plops down across from him, the flames adding an eeriness to Indrid’s features that does nothing to Duck’s desire to take his hand and hold him until he’s warmed through.

Indrid makes it through four s’mores in the time it takes Duck to eat one and a half, and is licking his fingers in a painfully appealing way when he muses, “Should we tell scary stories? I understand that goes hand in hand with roasting marshmallows.”

“Havin some summer camp flashbacks?”

“No. I never went, which was probably for the best. I’m not sure accident-prone children with glasses do so well in such places. Though I was always curious about kayaking.”

“Can take you in the spring if you want. There are lakes in the park where it’s allowed. Could even paddle out to Floating Island if you wanted to draw.”

“That sounds wonderful.” Indrid smiles, “I almost finished the drawing for Jane, it will be ready in time for Christmas.”

“Thanks, ‘Drid.”

Indrid licks molten sugar off his fork and Duck searches for a distraction from the way his tongue moves.

“You ever hear the story of the hook-handed man?”

“What?”

“It’s an old camp story. You seriously never heard it?”

“I’ve heard references to it. Now I want the full experience.” Indrid leans in attentively. Duck does his best, but it’s not quite s scary when you’re in an apartment with three locking doors between you and the outside world and the only place a murder could hide is in the closet Duck was just in. Indrid doesn’t jump at the ending, but he applauds,

“My turn?”

“Go for it.”

“Hmm. Ah, okay, once upon a time, there was a lonely artist who lived in a barren land. Every day he would sit and stare at an oasis of green, but he could not get too near. Until, one day, the caretaker of the oasis invited him in. The artist felt so happy when he was there, the caretaker was one of the nicest men he’d ever known. And the, ah, the artist wanted to know if, if he would, ah, like to go out with him. Maybe tomorrow?”

It takes Duck’s mind two seconds to catch up with what just happened and in those seconds Indrid looks increasingly like he’s going to bolt out the door.

“Not much of a scary story.” Duck teases gently.

“I’ll have you know I am terrified right now.”

Duck links their fingers, “No need for that, darlin. I’d love to go out with you.”

They could re-light the whole block with the power of Indrid’s smile.

“In the meantime” Duck snuffs the flame on the table, “let me keep you warm?”

Indrid tugs him into an embrace, kissing his cheek with an excited hum and laughing when Duck chases his lips for a proper, tender kiss, “Of course.”

#indruck #indrid cold/duck newton #winter aus #winter fills #fluff #taz amnesty

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mrslittletall · 4 years ago

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Ok, then, a post that rates all the Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons fall themes coming up: SNES - Actually, I find this song to be a bit annoying. It is too repetitive and too loud. It also didn’t help, that for some reason, SNES didn’t had crops for fall, so that fall was more like a winter where you could collect mushrooms. GBC - It is the same as with the SNES, but in the Game Boy sound font. It actually is a bit more tolerable like this, but still not much. 64 - Now that’s a good fall theme! The melody is just perfectly aligned with how busy fall is and there is the sense of an underlying hurry in the theme, probably because winter is creeping up. It also sounds like a remix of the SNES fall theme, but one that was done very right. GBC2 - This one is nice. It tries to get the best out of the limited GBC sound system. It has a very nice melody, a bit melancholy, but overall catchy. If someone would play this with actual instruments, it probably would sound amazing. BTN - One of my favourites actually and not only because I love BTN. The song is just catchy, it goes in your ear and it certainly makes you think of a sunny fall day. It repeats the first notes a few times before changing it a bit and repeating. The low notes in the background really let the song shine and the constant rythm doesn’t make the song boring. GBC3 - I still can’t find a video which points out which seasonal theme is which, but it is still pretty yikes overall. AWL - Because of the lack of traditional season themes, we only have the records. The fall theme is a remix of the N64 one. It is still the same awesome melody, just cleaned up and played with different instruments. It sounds really good. What a bummer you can only get this records by trading with FoMT. FoMT - The same as BTN, but in the GBA soundfont. It definitely sounds better on the PSX. It is fine for the GBA, but too much chiptune for my taste. MM - This theme has a bit of music that would play in a lounge. Where you would go and hang out with a fancy cocktail, just relaxing after a hard day of work. The melody is definitely catchy and I enjoy listen to it. The song also is coherent, unlike the winter song, and makes me want to sway to it. Though, I have to admit, MM songs are pretty long, unusual for HM music. STH - Aw, this theme is fun. It tells you that a busy autumn day lies before you, where you stroll along the leave covered street to town to hold conversations and sell your hard earned produce. All while you sway to the tact of the music. Sadly, I can’t find the town theme. DS - Woah! Just woah! This sound starts out with a few very elegant notes and it only gets better. The song is almost creepy in a way, but it is thoroughly beautiful, with a piano melody as the main melody. Always only a few notes, and then they leave room for the background notes, but the song wouldn’t be complete without this three notes. It definitely is one of my fav fall themes. HoLV - Oh, that sounds like medieval folk music ^^ It is very cute and catchy, a very cheerful song. Certainly gets you into the mood to work on the fields and harvest your crops. ToT - Elevator music! That is straight up elevator music! Who composed this song?! The song would probably be higher in my favour if the first part wouldn’t sound so much like elevator music, but the second part is pretty good. Thanks at jake-marshall for providing a link to the night theme. I agree with them, this one would have been perfect for the day theme. A nice piano in the background and the melody is played with a violin, sounds very much like a chill fall day and more importantly, doesn’t sound like elevator music! IoH - The OST of IoH continues to convince and starts with a cheery little melody, but it very much culminates after a few seconds with a key change, which makes the music sound higher, as if floating in the clouds. Only downside again, it’s too short. AP - This song carries a sense of melancholy, but a good one. The sweet memories of the picnique you had with your crush, thinking about sitting around with your family and talking, thinking about just having dumb fun with your friends. It is a very emotional song, in a good way. A song that warms the heart, a song you want to roast sweet potatoes to. The night version is a much more calmer version of the day version, with a piano in the background and a flute for the melody. It sounds like it wants to coax you to go into bed. I defnitely get tired from it. SI - A nice song, another one that makes you think of a busy autumn day, but the same as the winter theme, it feels a bit not coherent and a bit too chaotic for my taste. GB - That is a fun fall theme! It starts with a nice little jingle and then changes into the general melody. The jingle continues as the background and the melody gets played with different instruments that complement each other wonderfully. It culminates into a medium fast version and is just fun to listen to. ToTT - I am not going to lie, this is another one of my favourites. The song just slaps. It makes you think of a busy fall day right away and you just have to sway in the melody, especially when the second part starts. ANB - Ah, ANB, you are just a source for fun and good music. The autumn theme very much reminds me of HoLV, a very medieval folk sound, with a lot of violins played in that very cheerful matter, ready to harvest the crops to. But the best part is the second part of the song, it is such a nice melody, I want to sway to it. TLV - I actually rather like this track. It sounds busy and conveys a fall day pretty well. It is also catchy and I remember not getting tired of it when listening to it in game. The melody is coherent and not grating, but it is a bit too short. The night theme sounds like someone put a blanket over the theme, it is very slow and quiet, as if it doesn’t want to disturb the night. SoS - “You are the ocean’s grey waves.” Wait a moment, Fire Emblem Fates only came out AFTER SoS. Huh, but the melody sounds very very similar to “Lost In Thoughts All Alone”. To be honest, the SoS OST is a bit too generic for my taste, it isn’t too catchy. The Fall theme is the same, only that it sounds so similar to a famous Fire Emblem song makes it stand out. SoS actually brought the night songs back (I think I forget this in the winter rating list). The night theme is very calm and sounds like someone played the main melody on a harp. It seems to say “good night”. SV - I can only find a whole video with the OST without time stamps and not the fall theme on its own, so I have to skip on this one. SoS 3oT - That one is fun. It has this usual busy melody and carries around a certain autumn wind with it. The song starts with a cheery melody and then in its second part gets to a climax.

LoH - What a nice melody. Cheery and playful. It is fun to listen to, but a bit too short. The beath drop after the beginning is done really well though. SoS FoMT - It is again, the same as from BTN, but actually... I prefer the BTN one! The SoS one is a bit too... chiptunes? I guess. I prefer the much more cleaner version we got for the PSX. This one has an alternate version that plays on the weekends/festival days. I actually really like this one. It is calmer than the usual one and uses a piano for its main melody. It has a very nice section with high notes in the second part of the song. SoS Doreamon - I actually forgot about this game in winter! But let me make up with the fall theme. I am actually not too sure about it... it sounds fine, but a bit too broken up. It has a bit of a western theme to it also, probably because of the harmonica that is used in the background. It is certainly very calm and relaxing. If I forget a game or you have a link to the songs I couldn’t find, please tell me.

#harvest moon #story of seasons #rating of the fall themes

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servinglemonade · 4 years ago

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WandaVision Review

BEWARE: SPOILERS FOR ALL WANDAVISION EPISODES AHEAD

Didn't WandaVision end over a month ago now? Yes. Wasn't The Falcon and Winter Soldier finale yesterday? Yes. Is that going to stop me from talking about this incredible show? No, it won't.

Hi everyone! I started writing this review while WandaVision was still airing, but got so swamped with life that I did not have time to finish it. But here we are, finally! I adore this show, it is a fresh and different take on the MCU and I personally loved every second of it. The concept should not have made sense, like Paul Bettany kept saying, it is bonkers! However, somehow, they just made it work and I just enjoyed it so much! The sitcom aspect, the different songs and score, the attention to detail, the new characters, and spending time with Wanda and Vision was just fantastic! Because at the end of the day, that was what this was all about, Wanda and Vision and their relationship! For a more in-depth and spoiler review of every episode, keep on reading!

Episode 1 - Filmed Before A Live Studio Audience

Many people expressed their annoyance with the fact that the first two episodes that aired were very slow, and yes they are. But that is not necessarily a bad thing. This is not a movie, it is a show, they are building the story, just enjoy the ride and the mystery because even the first episode left so many questions! I loved seeing Wanda and Vision as the stars of the show for once and I enjoy spending all this time with them. The production value of the whole show is amazing but the black and white episodes are something special. I have never watched the old school sitcoms they are referencing here in episode 1 (and 2) but I found it so charming and cute. The square aspect ratio, the black and white, the old school VFX, the laughing track from the audience. I thought it was really cool to see. One of my favorite moments in this episode was the dinner scene with the Harts. When Mr. Hart chocked and Mrs. Hart just kept saying stop it, and Wanda and Vision just kind of looked at each other like what is happening, was so tense. When Wanda looked at Vision and said to help him was so well done by both Elizabeth and Paul! So, I really loved this first episode.

Episode 2 - Don’t Touch That Dial

Episode 2 is where you really start to see that nothing is at it seems in this ‘perfect’ world. So, there is a talent show that day and our favorite unusual couple is preparing for their magic act. Wanda also tells Vision that is their home and she wants to fit in. Later, Vision goes to the Neighborhood Watch because of a strange sound he heard the night before, where we meet some more people from Westview and Vision’s co-workers. Vision mentions he does not eat food. However, when Herb offers him gum, he takes it but accidentally swallows it. This leads to a really cool animation that Vision might not be doing so well after eating that piece of gum. Meanwhile, Wanda hears a strange noise so she goes to check it out, and it is this little red and gold-colored drone with a logo on it... Which was later revealed to be the SWORD logo. But then who comes to visit... Agnes. She was suspicious since the beginning and we were right about that... So Wanda joins Agnes for a meeting with the Planning Committee. Here we meet, Geraldine aka Monica Rambeau, Dottie, and some more people from Westview. So, Wanda is trying really hard to fit in but is not really successful. They say the talent show is for the children but are not any children in Westview... Fishy! Then Wanda has to clean everything up after the meeting and has a really weird moment with Dottie. Someone is trying to contact Wanda through the radio which freaks Dottie out completely, the glass breaks and Dottie’s blood is red, while the rest is still black and white just like that little drone... So, when it’s time for the magic show, Vision shows up at the nick of time and appears to be acting a little weird or ‘drunk’ so to speak. So of course, everything goes wrong during the show and Wanda tries to cover it up. But everyone thought they were being funny so they won! And they go back home, and Wanda turns out to be pregnant! I thought it was a really cute reveal but it did not last long because there is some strange dude outside in a beekeeper costume coming out of the sewer and Wanda is like ‘oh hell no’ and rewinds time like it never happened. Badass.

Episode 3 - Now in Color

In this episode, Wanda and Vision prepare for the arrival of the baby, which of course causes some trouble not just in the house but in the neighborhood of Westview too. I loved how Vision was making Dad jokes and was quite nervous about becoming a dad. Yet, Wanda was just like chill, we got this, so cute. The pregnancy goes very fast, which confuses Vision. He also starts questioning the situation they are in and how weird the citizens of Westview act sometimes. He even looks straight into the camera! So, Wanda looks a bit scared and rewinds again!! So, it was becoming very clear that Wanda is pulling the strings here and can alter what happens. Afterward, Vision runs to get the doctor and Geraldine (aka Monica) shows up. At some point, Geraldine realizes what’s up and she helps Wanda deliver her baby, or babies as we later find out. Twins! What a twist, as Darcy says in the next episode (although it was in the trailer that there were 2 babies, I just wanted to make that joke). So, everyone is very happy and as Vision lets the doctor out, Monica stays with Wanda. Now, this is where this episode gets super weird. So, Vision sees Agnes and Herb talking and they are discussing how Geraldine is an outsider since she just showed up in Westview with no home and family. Then, Herb wants to say something important, but of course, Agnes stops him. Meanwhile, Wanda and Monica are inside and Wanda mentions Pietro for the first time in a long time!!! I think since Age of Ultron. Speaking of Ultron, Monica then mentions that Pietro was killed by him. We do not see what happens next (just yet hehe) but the aspect ratio changes and we go outside of Westview where SWORD is monitoring the hex very closely... This episode brought up a lot of questions, which is one of the things I loved about it. A scene I liked was when Wanda’s water broke and the house got all wet. So, Wanda used her powers to create some wind to dry off. She was standing there very gracefully and Vision was in the background struggling to keep his balance. I just thought that was funny.

Episode 4 - We Interrupt This Program

Did I mention how much I love the titles for every episode, I think they are so clever. In this episode, we see the last 3 episodes but from outside the hex! So, we get a couple more answers to our questions. For example, that it is ALL WANDA! Wanda is creating a reality where she can live in a perfect world with Vision. We get re-introduced to some characters we have not seen in a while! Jimmy Woo, who has mastered close-up magic like he was practicing in Ant-Man and The Wasp! We love to see it. And Dr. Darcy Lewis, who is now an astrophysicist, just like Jane! I think it was really good to pair these two together because they had a great dynamic and quickly became such a fun duo! We also get introduced to one of the worst people in MCU history, the new director of SWORD... Tyler Hayward. The literal definition of a bastard. I mean this man is a liar and is sitting in Monica’s chair (who should obviously be the new director). This brings me to the beginning of the episode, which in my opinion is the best perspective on the Blip we have gotten so far. The VFX when Monica blipped back was incredible. I also thought that whole sequence in the hospital showed how chaotic it must have been for some places after Hulk snapped everyone back. For example, when this one guy said “Everyone is coming back, we don’t the capacity!” I think that is a really interesting angle to explore the ramifications of The Blip. But the most heartbreaking thing about that scene was Monica finding out her mother, Maria, passed away while she was blipped. That was just awful. A fun thing about this episode was that everyone at SWORD was kind of like us, trying to piece together what was going on! But the best part about the episode was, of course, seeing how Wanda took Monica out of the hex. She really looked and sounded like a villain. It was amazing, but the most creepy thing I have ever seen in the MCU was talking zombie Vision. Really good jump scare and very unexpected and dark!

Episode 5 - On a Very Special Episode...

And we are back with Wanda and Vision living their ‘perfect’ life, trying to get the twins to sleep, which is not really working out for them. And of course, Agnes shows up to help them. Vision is kind of apprehensive and prefers if Agnes does not get too close. However, Agnes starts acting weird and asks Wanda: "Do you want me to begin from the top?" WHAT...?! I thought this sounded like she knew Wanda was in control. Wanda tries to talk some sense into her and lets Agnes do her thing. Vision starts getting really suspicious of the situation in this episode and I loved seeing that and how Wanda dealt with it as well. We catch up with SWORD and our favorite duo has become a trio!! Jimmy Woo, Darcy, and Monica! Hayward is briefing everyone about Wanda’s history, tells more lies, Monica actually sticks up for her (yas), and Jimmy & Darcy agree with the whole world that Hayward is a bastard. Back in the hex, we are introduced to Sparky the dog, and the twins age up to ten. Later, our favorite trio is on a mission to figure out what is going on. What I found most interesting about this scene was when Jimmy mentioned Captain Marvel, Monica was super dismissive... I smell some drama between those two. They then figure out if they can send something in the Hex to contact Wanda. While Vision is at work, they get a mysterious e-mail from SWORD trying to make contact inside the hex, which results in Vision waking up Norm from someone’s control!!! Such a cool scene, very well acted as well. Back at the Vision residence, Wanda has a little heart to heart with the twins about family, which I thought was very heartwarming. But then, a SWORD drone has come into the hex and Hayward actually weaponized it. And we get one of Wanda’s most badass scenes ever! She comes out of the hex and throws the drone right back at them and tells them to leave her alone since she has everything she wants. Then, she amplifies the hex with her powers and now it has this red glow around it. What I found really interesting about this was her Sakovian accent, which was so present here. The commercial for ‘Lagos’ paper towels this episode was very clever: ‘when you make a mess you did not mean to.’, which is obviously a reference to what Wanda did to that hospital in Civil War. So, Sparky is missing and they find him dead in Agnes’ hands. RIP :(. The ending of the episode where Wanda and Vision fight was amazing and SO WELL ACTED by both of them. Super tense! And of course, in the end, Evan Peters shows up as Pietro. I have never seen the X-Men movies (I know, I am sorry.), so I had no clue that he actually played Quicksilver in the FOX movies.

Episode 6 - All-New Halloween Spooktacular!

This was one of my favorite episodes and it may or may not be because of the Halloween elements. I thought the twins talking to the audience in this episode was really cute and a great way for us to get to know their personalities as well. Wanda comes downstairs looking fabulous in her classic Scarlet Witch costume from the comics!! The kids and Pietro kind of think the costume is a bit meh, but they obviously do not know what they are talking about... Pietro then talks about trick or treating with Wanda in Sakovia and Wanda says she does not remember... Clue #1 that this Pietro is being kind of weird. Later, Vision shows up in his classic comics costume, which was funny to see him in that. So Vision tells Wanda he cannot go trick or treating with them because he is doing some stuff with the Neighborhood Watch tonight, while in fact, he is going to be doing some investigating in Westview. So Pietro joins the fam instead with his classic Quicksilver costume and Tommy has the same outfit on because it is later revealed that he also has super speed. I really enjoyed the trick-or-treating bit. So, Vision is nearing the edge of the Hex and seems as though people are either stuck in a loop but still conscious or just standing completely still. Back at SWORD, our favorite trio is taking matters into their own hands and are trying to figure out a way to go back into the hex and they find out that Hayward is tracking Vision and the decay of Vibranium. Which raised a bunch of questions for me, like is Hayward just after Vision? Darcy mentions that going in and out of the hex is changing Monica’s cells. Interesting and scary. When Vision found Agnes at the edge of the hex and got her out of the spell, she knew about the Avengers but Vision did not since he has no memory. She was acting really weird though... AS ALWAYS! The town square with all the Halloween decorations looked so cute and gave me serious Halloweentown vibes! Pietro is fishing for answers with Wanda and we get another jump scare with zombie Pietro... This was even worse than Vision. Then, we get this heartbreaking scene, where he is trying to get out of the hex and tries to tell SWORD the people need help and he is slowly falling apart and nobody tries to help him but Darcy. I really thought he was going to die again and I was not ready for that. Luckily, Billy senses his dad is in trouble and goes to Wanda. She then freezes the whole town and EXPANDS THE ENTIRE HEX. That was just crazy and what a cliffhanger.

Episode 7 - Breaking The Fourth Wall

This is the Modern Family style episode and as a huge fan of that, this was sooooo well done! The humor, the confessionals to the camera, the camera work even. It was perfect. So, it’s not going so well in the hex. A lot of furniture and things in the house are switching between decades, like the twins’ game consoles and the milk. Wanda kept saying she was fine, while we can all see she obviously is not. Agnes suggests taking the twins so Wanda can have a little self-care time. Speaking of which, her confessionals to the camera were so funny! Vision seeks out Darcy and Darcy just thinks he wants to go on a date with her. All I kept thinking was: Vision, just take her out of the spell. Which of course he does later and Darcy says how she thought it would be fun to be on WandaVision but in reality, it was not, that was great. They then escape the circus by getting in a funnel cake truck. Meanwhile, Monica and Jimmy meet up with the engineer who turned out to be no one we knew. But she did bring a vehicle that Monica could use to get back in the hex. Which eventually did not work, so Monica literally runs in there without any protection really. But we got this beautiful sequence where Monica gets her powers and it was just stunning. She hears all these voices of her past and she is also ripped apart somehow with different versions of herself but she pulls them all together and she goes comes out on the other side in a superhero landing and GLOWING eyes, wow. Vision and Darcy are stuck somewhere in Westview like someone really does not want them to get to Wanda. Darcy basically tells Vision his whole story and he finally learns what Wanda had to endure concerning his death as well. Vision’s confessionals in front of that funnel truck were hilarious as well! Another thing I loved about that was that Darcy mentioned how she had been watching WandaVision (just like us hehe) and the love Wanda and Vision share is real, which I thought was really cute. Monica visits Wanda at home and she is NOT happy. Elizabeth Olsen is really selling the more villainous moments and Teyonnah Parris killed this scene as well, the emotion in her voice was on point. Agnes sees what happens and goes to stop it and takes Wanda to her house. Wanda sits in the living room and the twins are nowhere to be found, so Agnes says they are in the basement. Which has these really weird branches coming out of it, Wanda goes down and there are all these weird artifacts and this book, very WITCHY... And it is revealed that Agnes is Agatha Harkness, a witch!!! This leads to the instantly iconic smash hit, Agatha All Along!!! (which I am still very much obsessed with) So we see her messing with events like the talent show and it was also revealed that she was the one that killed Sparky... I had been following theories throughout the show, so some already suspected Agnes was Agatha but the way it was revealed was just iconic.

Episode 8 - Previously On...

I loved this one too. This episode gives us some answers to our questions and a glimpse into Wanda's past. Hosted by none other than Agatha Harkness! (I love how she was giving commentary on everything this episode, Katherine Hahn is amazing!) In the beginning, we also see some of Agatha's past and I thought it was really cool, I love the magic section of the MCU and I feel like they are starting to explore it more and more. It was also a very dark scene, really great stuff. After that, Agatha is explaining to Wanda why she came to Westview, why is she is seeking her out specifically, and showcases her magic. She also explains how she brought FIETRO in the picture (cannot stop calling him that now lol). We then take a trip down memory lane. First up, Sokovia. I thought this was cute and gave us an answer to why they are referencing sitcoms. I did not expect to see the bombing that Wanda and Pietro talked about in Age of Ultron and as it turns out the bomb did not go off because Wanda put a spell on it! Then we move to the Hydra facility where Wanda and Pietro volunteered. So when Wanda was alone with the scepter, the mind stone went to her by itself, almost like it chose her or something. I thought it was really cool that it was showing her true self or her future self for that matter. Next up, the Avengers compound. I loved how when Vision entered he came through the wall, just like he did in Civil War and he is kind of confused about the sitcom she is watching. They have a little heart-to-heart about how Wanda is feeling after Pietro's death. I have to say the writing and lines here are great but Vision says this gorgeous one: "But what is grief, if not love persevering?" That is one of the best lines in the show and MCU, so beautiful. I mean even Agatha had to wipe away a tear. The last scene was incredible. So we find out that Wanda never took Vision's body from SWORD and that Hayward is a lying bastard (tells us something we do not know). I was on the verge of tears when Wanda went to Vision's body and said she could not feel him anymore. Gosh, that was sad and made me think of Infinity War. She then leaves the SWORD HQ and drives to Westview and she stops at this empty plot of land... Because Vision bought that for them to live there :( That is just so sad and Wanda her grief was so great that SHE created the hex out of nothing. On top of that, she even created a new Vision. That whole scene was so visually striking, it was incredible. So back to 'reality'. Agatha leads Wanda outside and she is wearing her costume (which looks great btw!) and her hair is blowing in the wind and she is holding the twins hostage and she tells Wanda she used chaos magic to create the hex, which makes her THE SCARLET WITCH!!!!!! SHE SAID IT! The way I screamed omg, it was amazing!

Episode 9 - The Series Finale

We've made it!! Congrats if you have made it this far, cause this a long post. Let me start off by saying that even though some people hated this finale because of all the theories that had been spread on the internet, I really enjoyed it! Yes, even I was convinced that some of them were true, particularly Mephisto and Doctor Strange showing up. It did not happen and at the end of the day, I was fine with it because they were just theories, it was not confirmed. Now, the whole Evan Peters thing... It was a bit weird that he was just a nobody, but I was honestly not that invested in that storyline, so yeah, I get why other people were disappointed. But to say it ruined the whole show, no way, it was never about him in the first place. With the mystery of WandaVision, I think we all looked too much into every single detail. WandaVision is about Wanda dealing with her grief and the love she shares with VIsion, which they delivered on in spades and I loved seeing that. Plus, it is not to say that Mephisto will never show up, there were a lot of clues here that he might in the future with all those devil references... The finale wrapped up this story and gave some teases for what is to come. It delivered some great action at the beginning of the episode with Wanda vs. Agatha and Vision vs. White Vision. I thought the little philosophy session with the Visions was so in character, it was great. Speaking of White Vision, now that he has all of Vision's memory... WHERE DID HE GO?! I am sure we will see him again. I thought the scene where the people from Westview surrounded Wanda and were blaming her for all their trauma these past weeks, which is totally within their right, was so intense and Elizabeth really sold it!! All the Wanda vs. Agatha scenes were awesome and loved seeing them use their magic in different ways. Now, my two favorite moments of this finale. I did not realize what Wanda was doing while fighting Agatha in the air, not until Agatha could not use her powers anymore... Wanda literally used Agatha's own tricks against her by casting those ruins inside the hex! Wanda accepting her destiny as the Scarlet Witch was such a beautiful moment, I had legit chills! AND HER NEW COSTUME LOOKS STUNNING! With her hair and the headpiece, omg yes queen. Also, I think we will be seeing Agatha again, they really established that her path will cross with Wanda in a future MCU project! Now, my other favorite moment. Wanda saying goodbye to her family. Some of the lines were just beautiful and the score was emotional. I thought it was chilling how you could just see the hex closing in on them, it felt very cinematic. I genuinely think it is among some of my favorite moments in the MCU. It was a beautiful ending to this story. So, what's next?! One post-credit scene was Monica being recruited by a SKRULL!! I love it when the Skrulls just pop up out of nowhere, it's great. So the Skrull tells her there is someone who wants to see her up there... That has to be Nick Fury right?! The last time we saw him he was on some sort of space station with Skrulls in Far From Home. Maybe Monica will also play a part in Secret Invasion?! I am excited about that reunion nonetheless! The other scene was Wanda settled in a secluded area in the mountains. Wanda has been confirmed for Multiverse of Madness with Doctor Strange and I am SO excited for that. This scene confirmed it too! If u listen closely you can hear a different version of Doctor Strange's theme!! I thought it was really cool and a little scary that Wanda could be awake and have her astral projection reading the dark hold at the same time! That was powerful!

So, here we are, we made it! I loved this show and I am so happy Wanda is becoming a very big part of the MCU and her future shines brighter than ever!! Thank you so much for reading this! I hope you enjoyed it :) Next up, The Falcon and The Winter Soldier! (spoiler alert: it was amazing!!!!) Hopefully, my review will be up before Loki has started ;)

PS. I loved all the songs and scores from the show so much, I put all my faves in a Spotify playlist! Check it out here

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tsukikoayanosuke · 4 years ago

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Behind the Fic: TW:OPT - Chapter 67 - 71

Woohoo! We finally end this Halloween Special. It took nearly a week to finish this mini Arc and I apologize for that. I really stretched this Arc for far too long.

Well, then on to the rambling because the behind the scene is actually pretty weird.

WARNING: This will contain a bit of spoiler for the newest chapters of my fan fiction Twisted-Wonderland: Our Precious Treasure. Click here to read the whole mini-arc from the beginning!

The title of this 5-episodes mini-arc is the lyrics from “I Wanna Scare Myself” from Boo to You, Winnie the Pooh. This is probably one of the most memorable Halloween songs for me besides This Is Halloween. But also because I just really love Winnie the Pooh.

The purpose of this arc is actually three things: 1) As a bridge between the infirmary break and the future Leona's therapy; 2) Introducing the concept of 'first kiss' to Jonah; 3) telling that Jonah was born in Halloween day

Jonah's birthday is in Halloween was not because Halloween is my favorite holiday. It's actually also connected to the source material Jonah was based on.

I've made a list for every costume for the boys, unfortunately, only a few that appeared.

Now, let's talk about the actual Halloween celebration.

The Halloween Party was inspired by the Yule Ball from Harry Potter, which is why there was a dance between the prefects and their partner.

Jonah and Cater ship A-Deuce

Speaking of that A-Deuce moment, it was completely off-script. I just want to write something about Ace and Deuce because I feel like they are lacking (and oh boy, Octavinelle Arc will be a toll to write because of that one major change), so like back in, I gave them small moments together.

I'm actually pretty nervous about the actual Scooby-Doo part. I really want to write something about the Board Game Club to show how close they are. I don't know whether I succeed or not.

Writing Idia and Ortho turned out to be easy after my research, but I'm still not confident about how I wrote them.

Let's talk about Maryanne, shale we?

The Tale of the Unfortunate Sacrificial Flower is a made-up tale by me, but there are some inspirations.

This funny story was the base of this Halloween Arc. As you noticed, some parts were cut, like almost all of them. It didn't turn out to be similar to Ghost Marriage it's worse.

The original idea is for the Board Game Club to find an ancient board game where the spirit inside it corrupt one of the member. If that corrupted-being kisses you, you'll get corrupted too.

This was inspired by a very old YouTube Poop my brother used to watch called ”The Rise of Sqeegee” where Weegee (a parody of Luigi) corrupted Squidward and caused chaos. He got killed but always got revived at the start of every episode.

The board game was supposed to be similar to an Ouija Board, where the gang must find the letter to spell a word. This was inspired by the Destiny Board in Yu-Gi-Oh!

However, I thought that a fetch quest was too long for a mini-series, so soon the whole idea was scrapped.

The new idea was playing the main plot of Hocus Pocus (1993), 'Papa' Lilia's story in particular. The tale of a witch who wants to eat the soul of children to live an immortal life. Also, the part where the Sanderson sister will return if a virgin lit up the black candle

But instead of a witch, we have a very vengeful soul-ghost who also eats the souls of the magicians

And since this school has no child except Ortho, it was changed into 'young magicians'.

The black candle art was changed slightly. Since the soul-sucking ghost was locked in a box, she will be free if a 17 years old virgin opens the box.

The box itself was inspired by the Millennium Puzzle Box from Yu-Gi-Oh!

I'm not really familiar to Hocus Pocus (1993) so I don't know whether Maryanne similar to someone or not. Maryanne was supposed my interpretation of the chaotic mind of Weegee, keeping the original idea there.

I have a thing of writing a very creepy and haughty lady (I don't know whether I should call Maryanne seductive or not), so Maryanne was a blast to write.

Jonah is confirmed a virgin. And he's 17 by Halloween.

“ Chapter 69: Cover Your Eyes Little Buddy, Beware! “ has so many great lines, especially from Maryanne. I just love how she just shot the member one by one.

Azul in particular was commented a lot since Maryanne called him "Definitely not a virgin." I just think it's funny. He just looks like a mafia boss so he surely would have a harem. But I'll let you decide whether Azul is a virgin or not.

“We need to warn everyone!” Idia cried. “There are hundreds of virgins in that gym!”

That's my personal favorite of the chapter.

There's a reference of Your Lie in April when Azul was calming Jonah down.

" Chapter 69: Cover Your Eyes Little Buddy, Beware! ” marks the first time Jonah ever caught a broom without smacking himself in the face.

Leona and Ruggie's interaction actually came out of nowhere. Originally, I want Leona just coincidentally walked up to the ghost's final battle or him noticing the disturbance from Savanaclaw. But I was like: "No. That's illogical." So, I made Leona go to the party.

Leona and Ruggie's interaction can be seen as romantic or platonic. I just really like how Ruggie was so loyal to Leona that even after he got Thanos-ed he still become in mom.

The ingredient of the exorcising spell was a reference to Witch Hazel's version of Macbeth's Double, "Double, Toil and Trouble" from Donald Duck Trick or Treat (1952)

The exorcism spell was made up by me and translated from English to Latin by Google Translate

“O errantes spiritu supra inferna” = “Oh, wandering spirit beyond the grave” “exilium perpetuum” = “banish forever”

The whole conversation between Jonah and Azul in “ Chapter 71: And Who Better?! ” was originally supposed to go in “ Chapter 69: Cover Your Eyes Little Buddy, Beware! ” but it was nearly cut from the fanfic as a whole.

I really want Crowley to slowly be a father figure for Jonah, that's why the scene between those two exist.

Again, it was inspired by many Irondad-Spiderson fics

I actually made a list of the ages of the cast until this point. I presume everyone will reach their canon age during 2020. Here's the calculation: (Not include Lilia, Malleus, Leona, and Ortho)

Entrance Ceremony: September 1

15 During 2020 Entrance Ceremony: Ace, Jack 16 During 2020 Entrance Ceremony: Jonah, Deuce, Floyd, Jade, Jamil, Epel, Sebek 17 During 2020 Entrance Ceremony: Riddle, Trey, Azul, Kalim, Rook, Idia, Ruggie, Silver 18 During 2020 Entrance Ceremony: Cater, Vil

Some characters birthday are after September 1, so they are one year younger at the start of the story: Jamil (September 12), Ace (September 23), Jack (October 11), Trey (October 25), Floyd and Jade (November 5), Rook (December 2), Idia (December 18)

Halloween: October 31

16 During 2020 Halloween: Ace, Deuce, Floyd, Jade, Epel, Jack, Sebek 17 During 2020 Halloween: Jonah, Riddle, Azul, Kalim, Jamil, Rook, Idia, Ruggie, Silver 18 During 2020 Halloween: Trey, Cater, Vil

Some characters birthday are after October 31, so they are still one year younger than their original age: Floyd and Jade (November 5), Rook (December 2), Idia (December 18)

In conclusion: Jonah, who is confirmed to be a 17 years old virgin by Hallow Eve’s, is the oldest between the first year gang. He’s also a few days older than the Leech Twins!

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland fanfiction #twisted wonderland fanfic #twst fanfic #twisted wonderland fic #twst fic #twisted-wonderland: our precious treasure #behind the fic: tw:opt #jonah argentum (my oc)#leona kingscholar #ace trappola #deuce spade #azul ashengrotto #idia shroud #ortho shroud #ruggie bucchi #dire crowley

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notthefilmreview · 5 years ago

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Falling in love with Aster Flores in 1hr and 45m (aka watching THE HALF OF IT)

Hi, it’s Dana and today I’m going to be reviewing THE HALF OF IT!

I am so excited; I have been waiting for this movie since the trailer first came out weeks ago so it’s safe to say that my expectations are high and I truly hope that this will be rememorable.

I also did a reaction to the trailer of THE HALF OF IT so if you haven’t seen that the link is here.

I think that’s all I really have to say so read on to see my reaction to THE HALF OF IT...

This is just a lovely way to start a movie and I have noticed that a lot of movies do that. I personally really like the simplicity of adding a meaningful quote at the beginning of a movie (especially if it’s actually corely related, not just added for the sake of adding it) because it gives it that book-like, nostalgic feeling.

In the first few seconds of the movie we already have that idea of soulmates explained in some really creative animation and lovely narration. What I’m thinking is that obviously alluding to that connection between Aster and Ellie being almost soulmate-like.

And here we have Ellie who is scientific and rational and doesn’t believe in soulmates. Oh, she is going to find that everything she has once believed in is going to be proved so so wrong once she meets Aster and I just can’t wait!!!!

Ellie’s mum. We don’t know what has happened to her yet. Is she dead? Has she left? Is she missing? Was there an accident? But what we do know is that she is the reason why Ellie has closed herself off from other people and believes that love is irrational and meaningless. Therefore, for Ellie to truly accept her feelings for Aster she’ll have to face her mum and I am not ready for this; this is going to most likely be such an emotional part of the movie and I will definitely be crying my eyes out as I attempt to write up this review.

Also, Ellie has a lot of checklists and I feel that vibe because that is pretty much my whole entire life.

Mr Flores? As in Astra Flores?

I think the music teacher might be Aster’s dad and I feel like that’s going to relate in someway. I don’t *exactly* know how - yet - but I will ponder on it throughout the review.

So Aster is also in her dad’s class and she has such a beautiful voice, seriously, listen to it; she sounds like an actual angel and she makes it look so effortless. I understand why everyone likes her so much because even I want to marry her!

I think that Ellie has a crush on her even before she meets her in the corridor and that’s quite cool considering that the trailer made it look as though she gained a love at first sight crush on her (which she obviously doesn’t believe in).

Ellie’s philosophy teacher, who is quite close to her, knows about her essay writing business but never actually turns her in. This was a question I had during my trailer review because I was wondering how none of the teachers have noticed (or they were all just blind).

Another question about the essay business I had was how she manages to get away with writing around the same essays for everyone. However, it turns out that Ellie writes different essays for everyone and that is just amazing.

Also, Ellie was talking about leaving or staying for university so I think that’s also going to be a big thing. I hope that she ends up leaving at the end for her own sake.

Wow, okay, was it just me or did you feel that sexual tension too?

Because that just took my breath away and just made me love Aster even more. I didn’t even know that I could love her more but just watching her talk to Ellie was so beautiful and I just love her. Wow.

She’s so smart and so knowledgable about everything. I just want her to talk to me for hours and hours about anything that comes to her mind.

Aster also has known Ellie for some time which was a surprise because from the trailer I thought that they only met there for the first time. Hmmmm...maybe Aster also has feelings for Ellie????

I’m sensing a theme. Almost feels like a philosophy essay on love...maybe.

Everyone seems to be hanging out in the church which is quite different, I guess.

Aw, Aster is insecure about being at the peak of popularity and she’s being extremely honest about this to someone she’s only just met. This really shows that even through Ellie’s writing, Aster can tell that the person who’s writing this is genuine and someone she can trust to open up to.

(Also, she should drop her friends and find other people who don’t try to boost their own ego by bringing you down to their level. You are above them. Aster! They are nothing like you, honey!)

But her boyfriend’s quite funny and cute (in like a puppy kind of way). I know we’re meant to not like him because he’s getting in the way of Aster and Ellie but if they just break up I feel like he’ll just be a bit of a cool guy. I love how he has taco time with his girlfriend because that’s just too cute (and also makes me quite hungry).

This.

Oh my, this is just beautiful.

They created art together from a bunch of lines that just so happened to get together.

Wow.

They are goals.

...this, on the other hand, is anything but.

I feel so bad for Aster being letter-fished (y’know, like catfished?) like that. She just wants someone who understands her at that deep sort of level; someone she can talk to about philosophy and art and literature; she needs Ellie (or me because I love books, abstract art, and philosophy too - hit me up, Aster!)

Omg, guys, is Aster Flores my soulmate?

She laughs at horror films! I laugh at horror films! I have seriously never met anyone else who’s crazy enough to laugh at horror films apart from Aster and I am astonished.

Why is she perfect in every way for me?????

However, I do find it extremely creepy how they’re basically stalking Aster and learning everything about her, writing every detail on whiteboards, windows, and notebooks.

I just love the contrast between Paul’s energetic, lively, and chaotic family contrasting with Ellie’s small and quiet home atmosphere.

What’s a taco sausage? A taco with sausage pieces? A hotdog but with a taco shell instead of a bun? A taco shell in the shape of a sausage?

It turns out that Ellie’s mum died when she was quite young.

Paul ends up finding out about Ellie’s crush on Aster quite early on. Actually, everything in this movie happens quite early on which I like because it just gets to the point of the plot without beating around the bush, constantly keeping the audience on their toes. I just love this movie so much.

What I also love is how Paul doesn’t go “you’re gay????” with all those question marks. It’s just normalised without questioning the gender of who she loves; just the person. Paul is actually just a cinammon roll at heart and he does deserve to find love but not with Aster (and I hope he learns that).

I’d probably eat that.

Hmmmm I’m thinking that this might be a bit of foreshadowing for the ending. I predict that Ellie leaves Squahamish and as the train is leaving, Aster (or maybe even Paul because I can’t see Aster running after trains) runs after her to say goodbye.

Hearing them eat those taco sausages has actually made me quite hungry.

Awwwwwww look at this boy; he is too cute to handle; he deserves so much love.

Ellie’s song - oh my. Can you just imagine her having a duet with Aster singing this song? And the fact that everyone claps is just beautiful.

Just no. Please, no. Please, stop, you’re only hurting yourself here. She has a name, please use it.

Also, Ellie’s sudden popularity??? Drunk Ellie??? Protective Paul???

Their friendship is everything that is needed in the world.

Okay, so if I thought that the corridor seen had sexual tension well...this...is on a whole other level.

Aster is conflicted between her destiny to marry Trig and how understood she feels when “Paul” writes to her.

Also I am here for the bromance between Ellie’s dad and Paul.

THIS. SHOT. IS. EVERYTHING.

It sort of reminds me of the lake scene in After - except better.

(Btw, this was kind of their first date. Right?)

Ummm...okay...WHAT DID I JUST WATCH?

WTF PAUL?

Paul, oh my, are you okay? Paul, honey, you were a cinammon roll. I cared about you, Paul. I believed that you deserved to find love when you finally realise you’re just not right for Aster.

Paul, I know that you’re not the brightest bulb in the shop but - this is not what I meant. This is not how I wanted conflict to arise.

This movie was going so well having this PLATONIC friendship that is sweet, caring, and supportive.

Paul, you’ve ruined it.

But, you know what the most annoying part is??? It’s the fact that I know at the end of this movie him and Ellie are probably going to make up and they’re going to brush that near kiss off as Paul being cofused or something and everything will be happy.

Usually, I enjoy watching something that I did not expect and the movie has been delivering that so far - including this. This, on the other hand, I did not like.

What kind of signals are you getting, Paul????

I seriously just want to know what’s going through this guys mind when he asks Ellie “You don’t want me to kiss you?” because she has seriously shown no signs of wanting to kiss him. Not gonna lie, Paul, but I think Ellie would rather make out with a bottle of Yakult than you!

I don’t know, I feel like that just ruined this movie for me. Going into this movie I knew that there will be something that causes a rift in their friendship but I thought this movie was better than using that over-used plot of platonic friendship turning into something more (or something like that, anyone ever watched Naomi and Eli’s No Kiss List? Well that’s what I’m sort of talking about).

There’s about 25 minutes left in the movie so I guess we’ll get through it (I just hope that somehow Paul redeems himself because even Trig seems more of an appealing character now).

Wait.

I swear we established this way at the beginning of the movie.

I’m so confused.

Wow, too far Paul.

I seriously take back every nice thing I said about you earlier being accepting, lovely, caring, and all that because this scene has just ruined him for me. I can’t believe they’re kind of making Paul the antagonist!!!! He had so much potential and they just did that.

There is just no way he’s redeeming himself at the end. I wouldn’t make friends with him again after this.

I really just want to fight him at this point; he just needs to go away; I’m not happy at all.

Why is the only good guy in this movie Ellie’s dad? Seriously, there is not a single good guy and that just makes me so annoyed.

I can confirm.

I feel so bad for Aster, seeing the one person who she thought understood her (Paul) try to kiss Ellie.

And you don’t either Paul.

I’m pretty sure Ellie’s dad understands her a lot more than you could any day so don’t go around thinking that you really know her because if you did then you wouldn’t have said what you said.

AND THIS IS THE REASON WHY YOU ARE A QUEEN ASTER FLORES!

Paul got what he deserved and I had to replay that soooo many times just to get that satisfaction.

(Personally, I think that Aster should have slapped Paul and then kissed Ellie amongst all the triggered homophobes).

This shot is just beautiful. They know they’re both heading in different paths, with Ellie deciding to go to Grinnell and Aster going to art school and this might just be their last chance to get things right between them.

Are we seeing this???

THIS IS EVERYTHING I WANTED FROM THIS MOVIE!

Even though they’re not ending up together their is that agreement that they like each other and they might even wait for each other after university.

That was just the best goodbye ever. I am so proud of Ellie’s confidence growth.

Ew, no, not you again.

I thought we were done with this guy after he got slapped.

Why can’t it be Ellie’s dad wishing her a farewell???

I can’t believe she just forgives him after he told her she’s basically going to go to Hell and we don’t even see him say sorry to her. I just hate how we were made to love him and...

Oh he’s running after the train oh my, I hate this so much.

Alright, this running and this goodbye would have been cute if all that stuff before didn’t happen - but it did. And no matter how much I try I can’t see Paul the same way no matter how much he attempts to make it up to Ellie.

Paul doesn’t deserve her tears.

(say it with me kids)

The most annoying thing is the fact that this was meant to be a friendship-centric story so I did expect that Aster and Ellie wouldn’t be the main focus but they just ruined the friendship and attempted to restore it in the last 25 minutes through Paul’s speech at church. This wasn’t a friendship story and Paul wasn’t a good friend.

Paul, in the first half was a good friend (the best) and had so much potential. Paul, in the second half destroyed first half Paul and replaced him with his evil homophobic twin brother.

Lol maybe that’s why they call it THE HALF OF IT!

At this point, I don’t even have anything to say except for the fact that I am very much disappointed in Paul’s storyline and what Netflix thinks is a “platonic friendship between a guy and a girl” (or a friendship in general).

As for Aster and Ellie, they got the ending I partially expected with Ellie deciding to leave Squahamish for university and them going their separate ways after that brilliant kiss (there are no words to describe the thick sexual tension between these two people).

Aster in general is just an amazing person who deserves to rule the world and I hate how she had to go through that letter-fishing but the upside is that she has time to figure herself out and what she wants in life at art school without fake friends and Trig holding her back.

I’m happy that Ellie gets to leave Squahamish but I feel sorry that her dad has to hang out with Paul the homophobe back home (I hope his taco sausage business fails and I’m not even sorry).

Anyway, that was a bit of a disappointment but if I just the almost kiss part out of my mind then it’ll be less traumatic.

What did you think of the movie? Good? Bad? Still angry with Paul? Tell me in the comment! Bye!

#the half of it #netflix #movies #movie commentary #ellie chu #aster flores is my bae #aster flores

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atinytokki · 5 years ago

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Here’s my first impressions (aka this is what 2020 is gonna sound like folks)

Alright so I’m really behind today, as some of you know I literally just got back from vacation and it’s also my first day of classes this semester and it’s just craziness. Yes I’m posting the first chapter of Yeosang’s spin-off today. But people seemed to like my first impressions of the last album so I’m going to do them again. Thankfully (?) this album is a lot shorter so I can pause and talk about stuff.

Warning! a loooong post, squealing, incoherent thoughts smashed together, and crying ahead. A lot of crying. Keysmashes included.

Post-MV thoughts before I listen to it again: There’s way too much to focus on and I’ve watched it many many times to look at the choreo and the storyline stuff that’s happening, but this is my first time listening without the video so I’ll notice more musically this time. But first I wanna say; YEOSANG’S LINES!!!! I’ve been screaming for forever that he has a beautiful deep voice and needs to be given parts that compliment it. And wow it finally happened :’) Anyway here we gooo

건배하자 like a thunder!! Can you believe they literally spoiled the entire hook of their next song in Beginning of the End? *flashbacks to my utter confusion when that happened* San sounds amazing and I like the little echoey thingies. Gives it a real nostalgic feel. Jongho already popping off vocally barely 10 seconds in. Mingi’s rap here and the transition to Hongjoong’s— rap line goals. The attitude in that mm-mm made me smile ngl. This prechorus might be my favourite part of the song. Seonghwa sounds heavenly. An EDM drop bringing back that hook, good decision and again it kinda feels nostalgic?? Especially the oh-oh-ohs which are also giving me a pirate drinking song vibe wow 0.0 Wooyoung with that 불러 불러 lol. Yes the Yeosang part!! I love a good post-chorus switchup and he. handled. it. perfectly. There’s even harmony, yall know how much I love harmony. And SINGING RAPPERS AHAHDJAHAK YESSSSS. Back to that glorious prechorus but it’s Yunho’s turn. This chorus is just such an anthem. I’m bopping rn. San in this bridge— he said I am a VOCALIST listen to my beautiful VOICE. Yay the rappers going back and forth again!! It’s like If Without You. Man I can’t believe I get to replay this song forever. 2020 is gonna be lit. You hit those notes Jongho! I’m always blown away by this kid, and that scoop earlier mmmm. Just nodding very energetically right now. Perfect end to the song. 100/10!!!!

Okay I’m pausing before the next one starts because no I am not prepared. It’s just like last time; I know Hongjoong wrote this and I know it’s gonna ruin me but I have no idea how and when and what it’s even gonna be like but anyway, too bad, let’s just go.

Oh kinda futuristic sounding opening with the synths? Yooo the vocal thingy in the background, sounds like a sample of some kind, that is super cool and I hope we get more of it. Ok I paused just to write that, let me unpause. This is gonna be a long one, I can already tell, sorry guys 😅 And the beat changed right before the vocalists came in. definitely a back and forth thing here in two registers, very sweet. Wow. WOW MINGI WOW. This rap is?? It sounds super mature and idk just full of confidence. I’m shook. Ok the chorus. Holy cow this is LIT lit. Nope nope I need to pause and go back. This is so chaotic, I feel like I’m missing things?? I’m listening to that chorus again because there were so many elements there. I just wanna take this song and break it down second by second to hear every single sound hahahah. I’m only catching an odd word or two here as far as lyrics go. Oml harmonies 💆🏻‍♀️ Alright Hongjoong’s rap. OMG if he sounded sassy in Answer this is a whole new level and I LOVE IT. Flow is 100/10. The “are you gonna take me there” gives me chills. This song needs a dance this chorus is TOO LIT. Am I at a rave rn??? Oh thank God the bridge took it back a level. Ok I’m pausing because I think I caught some of the lyrics this time. If I’m not wrong I heard 난 궁금해 저 끝이 궁금해, 더 가까이 조금 더 가까이 ? Which is something like “I wonder, I wonder about the end. Closer, a little bit closer” if I heard correctly. I need to look up the lyrics in full later because Hongjoong has a big brain and his lyrics are always 🤯🤩 Ok unpause. Final breakdown! Yep this is going on repeat the rest of today. Jongho yussss with the ad libs. No it’s over ㅠㅠ Alright this one is already vying for top spot this album. We shall see. But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. HONGJOONG GENIUS.

Um so yeah I saw them perform this live for their anniversary thingy and cried so this should be fun. At least I already know the song so how much can it hurt me? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Smart of whoever put this album together to stick this song right in the middle and make us cry between head banging to the other songs. Mingi in the beginning is just 💖💕💘💝💓 San ballad king. I need more ballads from him. Jongho, of course, with perfect vocal control. Oh Seonghwa too, I need more ballads from him. Wooyoung with T H A T part. A tear is forming, I just love this chorus. People are saying the song should be in a drama and I 100% agree. Everyone together FOREVER YOU ARE MY STARRR. The little drum frills it’s so cute :(( Yay Hongjoong, and his cute little voice I’m UWUWU. Wooyoung with the high note and I’m ascending........... Chorus again and this is the real meaning of crying in the club. It just occurred to me that the second verse seemed really short. Yeosang + Hongjoong + that guitar in the bridge is *chef’s kiss*. This is so emotional, do we really need to do this at 4am?!? I’m just gonna vibe for a sec, it’s the last chorus. The ad libs were so perfect and the way it ended— wow. I need a moment.

From my understanding this is a full version of the Precious Overture they gave us last album. Tempted to go back and see my first impressions about that one, but either way i have a distinct feeling my wig is about to be snatched. Let’s GOOO

So far, it’s starting the same. Creepy humming and all. Okay scratch that, we have a vocal melody. Yunho sounds great ugh I’m so proud. Sorry, San’s voice just takes me to another plane of existence or something, how can it be that smooth and gorgeous, someone please explain. Building to something now... Oo. OO?! Hongjoong’s rapping. This is so cool oh wow, and into this vocal part which I believe is the chorus?? wOW wow it’s amazing to hear this having already heard the bgm, this is like a new level of appreciation. It really all goes well. Ah we have a switch up now with Seonghwa. guys GUYS GUYS you know how I feel about switch ups. Sorry I’m going back to catch something. The tempo changed here and really grabbed my attention. The bass is also super cool, it’s actually the same melody as the treasure opening (and the opening of this song) but much lower, I believe. Uh oh guys this might be vying for top spot too. Let’s continue. Ok Mingi’s rap which I’ve already heard. Um I’m confused now. It’s Hongjoong’s rap again? Is this the chorus?? Woah woah hold on I gotta pause. Because. Wait, what?? This is the chorus??!? Yoooooooo bold move! I have no idea what is going on but I love it. Continuing on. Ah yeah ok the vocal part with Yeosang again, so I guess the rap + vocal part is the chorus? Also I neglected to mention but Yeosang is killing this song. Ooh okay this bridge is building some suspense. Feeeelingggggg.... And now a shouted version of the rap for the final chorus. Okay wow I’m impressed that they took it this direction. And Jongho with the ad libs is PERFECTIONNNN. Oop okay they’ve added the revised-lyric Treasure part to the end here. And the lyrics are the same as in Precious (Overture) so I’m guessing we still didn’t find the treasure, good grief. How long is it gonna take to find this treasure 😅. And it ended like that. Well. WOW. Again, I could listen to this on repeat all day. Again, I am deceased. Instant fave.

I’m pretty sure this is the exact same as I already heard on the trailer thingy but we are gonna react to it anyway.

The orchestra really loosens my tear ducts like nothing else. It’s beautiful, who else is doing it like them?? “Did you find your treasure?” Yes, I found ATEEZ 🥺. The way he says “finally found it” . This is Maddox btw. Also about Maddox, hang on I’m gonna pause for a PSA: guys if you don’t know Maddox please PLEASE check him out. He’s doing the amazing narration on this (and Intro too), he’s a soloist under KQ and one of Ateez’s hyungs who they look up to. In addition to his superior narrating talents, he is also an amazing vocalist. If you like R&B and lo-fi music I would definitely recommend him, he just dropped a single called Color Blind, his insta is xxmaddox, he’s a great guy and YEAH that’s all for my plug but go stan him, he is deserving and proof of the fact that KQ artists are talent through and through. Unpausing! The way the orchestra swells and then goes into a piratey sounding theme is so motivating and familiar :))) “Can you hear those voices?” HNGJRKSNDN WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SCARY. This is the Epilogue, it’s supposed to be like the denouement, the falling action!! The bad guys should be gone now! What’s next?? Treasure Ep: Answer to Question? Because that’s what I have after this album! More questions!!! Anyway, the bass here and the humming 👌🏻 100/10 for the instrumental. And in ATEEZ fashion, they leave me thirsting for more.

So that was my first impression/live reaction to the mini album! I think it’s Horizon and Precious fighting for #1 currently. Maybe I’ll reblog with second and third and fourth impressions... Thanks for reading if you got this far! And tell me what your first impressions were and if I missed something big while I was keysmashing. TTFN~

#ateez #ateez action to answer #ateez answer #ateez reactions #ateez first impressions #first impressions #keysmash #liveblog #tokki.txt

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disaster-dan · 5 years ago

Text

Peter x MJ - Send Me Your Location

Listening to Ned was usually a bad idea. This was a party and everyone would get sky high. Peter didn’t smoke but here was a first time. MJ thought there was better things to do but hey- that’s what being a teenager is. Be stupid. If it involves getting high and kissing your crush, why not.

Warnings: underage smoking, cannabis, getting high, intoxication

Song: Khalid, “Location.” American Teen, Right Hand, 2017.

I don’t own the lyrics or song.

If you’re okay with the above, read on :)

Send me your location

Let's focus on communicatin' 'cause

I just need the time and place to come through

(A place to come through)

Peter didn’t mean to get high. Of course, he knew people who did. Ned didn’t smoke, not constantly anyways. Rarely did Ned pick up something like a blunt or cigarette, but he had done it before a couple of times. Peter was not against it, but Peter didn’t see the point in doing it. It smelled strong, can stink a whole street, it was hard to roll, eyes got red easily. Despite his no-interest in ever smoking, Ned invited Peter to a party. Peter already had a terrible experience with parties and was about to deny it.

But you have to come had insisted his friend. I need you talk talk talk please talk. Peter gave in and agreed to hop in a designated driver’s car (Ned’s buddy) and head strong to a party in a house Peter had never been at before.

Hours later, Peter was seated in a couch way too soft and a room with lights not bright enough and people whom he would probably never see again. They passed around a blunt and Peter had two simple shots of it. Nothing was hitting yet, or at all. Being Spider-Man, sometimes normal human things were a bit different. So much for a first time.

Send me your location

Let's ride the vibrations

I don't need nothin' else but you (I don't need nothin' else but)

Across Peter was Michelle Jones. MJ. She found herself there. Knowing clearly she was young and learning, it was mandatory she did something stupid in her life. Go to a party where you talk to nobody and stay for the massive get-stoned circle. Her only way home was her bike. Very convenient.

MJ’s conscience told her someone particular would be there. Once her eyes spotted the classmate across from her looking out of place, she knew who it was.

She’s seen the kid before, they’ve never met.

But- she still knew that was Peter Parker whom she shared nearly all her classes with, who was in Decathlon, (was) in band practice, sat on the second to last table in the lunchroom, left school before anybody else, wore layers with no sense.

Yeah, MJ knew Peter. And he was here, in the stoner circle in a party. Across from her.

At times I wonder why I fool with you

But this is new to me, this is new to you’

Initially, I didn't wanna fall for you

Gather my attention it was all for you, so don't

Take advantage, don't leave my heart damaged

To understand that things go a little bit better when you plan it

Peter had never been high before. Passing around the blunt already on its ten something times, Peter was sure his abilities would stop him from getting the slightest inebriated. But, he knew that once his nose began to tickle, his eyelids becoming heavy and everything stopping its orbit every few seconds- he knew he had succeeded in something. He got high.

A familiar feeling was with MJ. As her lips chapped, her mouth drying but saliva piling in the corner of her mouth, her eyesight was no longer in 4k HD. She laid back and the couch swayed with her. The air slowly caressed her skin and a tickly burn in her nose was distantly familiar. She was having a good time. With Peter across her, things were a bit more interesting.

Peter’s eyes didn’t catch MJ until much later when Peter stopped counting shadows on loop. Her shadow kept being number five. So his hidden brain began to get curious and Peter finally looked up.

There she was. She inhaled into the blunt and passed it.

Peter had seen her before. Was her name Michelle?

So won't you send me, your location

Let's focus on communicatin' 'cause

I just need the time and place to come through

Peter was never before enticed by someone so much until that moment.

MJ. His classmate. She was here. But why would she be here? She didn’t seem like the person who liked parties. Last time in another party- Peter remembers Ned asking her why she was there. She replied with “Am I?” So- was she really there in the circle or was this some ungodly hologram his high mind created? Was it creepy that Peter watched closely as the smoke escaped through her full lips and her nostrils. As her eyelids dropped for a moment before opening up and slowly closing again.

Send me your location

Let's ride the vibrations

I don't need nothing else but you (I don't need nothin' else)

MJ didn’t care that she knew nobody around her. The dude next to her who kept scrolling YouTube Trending for the past fifteen minutes or the guy next to her who was hugging a pillow. She didn’t care, she didn’t have to talk. Everything was fine as it was.

Maybe she wanted to talk with Peter. Maybe she wanted to sit next to him and chat a while. Had Peter done drugs before? Something MJ doubted. Peter seemed like the one who’d be too afraid to inhale fumes. Here was Peter Parker in a party and smoking weed. It wasn’t cool. Smoking isn’t cool but Peter smoking was a little cool.

I don't wanna fall in love off of subtweets so

Let's get personal

I got a lot of cool spots that we can go

Tell me what's the move and I got you

Nobody knew who it was but someone had ordered pizza and the ding of the door nearly made everyone in the circle run for their lives.

Whether this was a mistake or someone ordered it on the low, it was a huge blessing to their little ceremony.

Ned was the first to run for pizza. Peter stayed sitting and watched as slowly everyone went for pizza. Almost everyone. Because Michelle didn’t move from her seat. She sat with her legs stretched out and staring at something. Like she was reading it. Peter thought she looked liked she was reading something at school. Invested. Whatever it was, Peter was always curious but never wanted to ask what it was. Peter didn't read a lot but he likes listening to a good story and Michelle looked like she could tell a good story. Now he was interested in what Michelle was staring at.

Was Michelle older than him? Maybe taller, but older? That’s a dumb question. They were the same age. Shared classes.

Her hair was never in control. Peter didn’t mind that. It gave her the vibe of some dungeon and dragons personality trait. Chaotic. She seemed chaotic to a good level. Good chaotic. Or neutral. But she had strong opinions so maybe a far good chaotic was a good fit.

Peter was hungry though.

I'm only acting like this 'cause I like you

Just give me the vibe to slide then

Oh, I might make you mine by the night

“I thought you’d be shorter.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“That I thought you’d be shorter.”

The pizza tasted way too good and Peter was beginning to think it was something the aliens in Area 51 made. Anyways- after a while of listening to a guy’s stomach growl for a couple of minutes, Michelle made her way to the kitchen. Peter followed behind her. Her curly hair bounced when she walked.

Peter didn’t take offense to the comment, but did everyone think he’d be shorter?

“It’s not a bad thing.” Michelle said before biting into her pizza. “Tall people have a bigger risk of catching or developing diseases and illnesses.”

“You’re tall.” Peter blurted. He would’ve thought about his words before saying them. But he was high.

Michelle nodded at him. “I know.”

There was Arizona tea and cans of Pepsi. Peter convinced himself Pepsi and Cola were the same thing. Michelle watched fascinated as Peter debated out loud.

“It’s the same thing. I’m not hurting anybody.”

Arizona was tasting very good.

Send me your location

Let's focus on communicatin' 'cause

I just need the time and place to come through

(A place to come through)

He can call her MJ. She said so.

Peter didn’t believe his eyes were red much until MJ dragged him to the bathroom and nearly slammed him to the mirror.

“Oh my god my eyes are red.” Peter breathed and turned to look at MJ. He gasped. “No way. Your eyes are red too.”

“I know.” MJ said with nonchalant. She stared at Peter for a few moments. He blinked. “Wait- are they actually red?”

Send me your location

Let's ride the vibrations

I don't need nothing else but you (I don't need nothin' else but you)

They didn’t have much in common, but they liked each other humor. Whatever humor there was in them. MJ hardly ever talked in school and Peter was way low on the social ladder at school. But- underdogs get along with underdogs.

MJ at some point called him pretty and Peter never thought he could blush as much as he did. He felt his blush. It tickled him. If that made any sense. And when Peter’s hand brushes against hers, his entire hand tickled too. MJ’s entire arm felt like she was airbending. She managed to stop herself from holding Peter’s hand as they walked back to the living room. She was suddenly bolder but she could hold herself well.

Peter was a pretty person.

MJ thought he was very pretty.

Peter thought she was pretty too.

Ride, ride, ride, come and vibe with me tonight

I don't need nothing else but you

(I don't need nothing else but you)

Peter sat next to MJ. He made sure he did. He thought MJ was a cool person. That's all. Nothing else. MJ was generally an amazing person who liked to hide the fact that she was indeed an amazing person.

it. Even after already getting the hang of it, he had to watch MJ to make sure he was doing it right. Peter, what the hell.

The blunt passed around and Peter watched as MJ took hits. It wasn't weird, he was just seeing how to do

He wanted to touch her hair. It looked soft.

MJ’s mind was running about Peter. His hair. His eyes. Stupid uneven eyebrows. His smile. His jaw. His hands. MJ did not miss the slight muscle in Peter. It was hidden, below the unnecessary layers. Sheu didn’t miss as Peter slacked his leg enough to touch hers. She pretended to not get the memo and shifted her leg close to Peter’s. And she felt his warmth. The simple act of touching made a warmth and something lavender consume her body and escape in a form of smoke through her lips.

Peter swore the world blossomed in color when his hand reached for MJ’s. Her hand was reaching back.

Ride, ride, ride, come and vibe with me tonight

I don't need nothing else but you

Nothing else but you

Pizza was gone and four blunts have been finished among the circle. Everyone still out of it. Everyone having a good time.

Peter and Mj somehow ended up with MJ’s legs over Peter’s laps and Peter laying his head on her slender shoulders.

Ned was far in the universe to notice when Peter lean close to MJ’s face.

It was a small game at first and soon the small thing of blowing smoke into each other's face turned to something more hidden. A game of trading smoking. Close enough to nearly make out, Peter took his hit and gently blew to MJ. MJ then gently blew her smoke to Peter’s and when the smoke collided, Peter and MJ’s face got a fraction closer. When their noses touched, both teens dissed limits goodbye and made lips touch. A soft kiss. Shy. But willing.

Wanting.

‘I’m Peter.’

‘I know. I’m Michelle Jones.’

‘Yeah you are.’

His hand blindly found her soft hair and MJ’s reached to his cheeks. Maybe the kiss was a bit slow, but it was nice. Whatever they were calling this - a make out, kiss, accident, sloppy- it was a feeling neither of them never wanted to miss. Maybe parties was something they should look forward to.

Time was irrelevant as Peter pulled back and blinked. MJ’s lashes fluttered and her eyes opened. The brown and hazel found each other like magnets. Peter’s eyelids were heavy and MJ’s lips felt cold.

“Hey.”

Their lips reconnected after a second too long and felt warmth once again.

Slow, maybe sloppy, warm and adoring.

The little bursts inside them was more intoxicating compared to the weed high. Something they could never explain high or sober. Only a feeling they could find over and over in that sense. Something so intimate that only they knew the feeling and answer to. Coming to parties isn’t so bad. MJ wasn’t a scary person and Peter wasn’t so short.

Designated driver arrived. They gave MJ a ride because it’s polite. MJ kissed Peter a deep goodbye before walking home with her blue bike.

As they rode home, Peter searched his pocket for a mint and found a paper. He opened it and there was a number and a small message.

‘Ur eyes will be red for a big while use eye drops’

She gave Peter her phone number and advice. Is being Spider-Man paying off?

Peter texted her a moon and she replied with the stars.

p-want to call later?

m-maybe i do

Do, do, do, do, do, do

Oh, oh, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, mmm, mmm, mmm

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do

I don't need nothing else but you

Read on AO3 !

Tagging: @twink-peter

#peter parker #michelle jones #MJ #peter x michelle #peter x mj #fluff #warning: weed #teen crush #Spider-Man #spider-man: far from home #spider-man: homecoming #danletters

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cacophonouscatharsis · 6 years ago

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DM’s Log #4.2: The music

From the very beginning, way before I ever got to actually DM, I’ve been listening to a shit ton of music that would fit in a campaign situation. Whether those be video game OST’s, anime OST’s, songs from movies or just random songs made by talented individuals. If it sounds orchestral and doesn’t have lyrics that are English and or right in the forground of the piece I’ll most likely add it to one of the several playlists I have for many different situations. However obviously there are certain instruments that will bar me from adding a song. When I started out I ignored any song that had guitars in them because I didn’t feel like those added to the immersion of a fantasy world. I’ve become a bit more lax when it comes to guitars though, however if a song is still like, predominately electric guitars or something then I still won’t add it. Same goes for songs tat feature heavy electronic music

I’ve categorized hundreds of songs into several YouTube playlists that I have set up on my phone that I can switch to depending on what’s going on in the campaign

Exploring: For whenever the party is simply roaming around the world or a city. Whenever the situation is peaceful with no threats of any kind. Usually the music will consist of slow soothing string music. 146 songs so far

Stealth/Cave: For whenever the party is exploring an area where danger could lurk around any corner, but battle is not yet upon them. 112 songs so far

Suspense: These are used for more dialogue heavy scenes, such as a declaration of war, or when the corrupt king is about to order his guards to seize the party. Tense music that isn’t too crazy, but still gives off a foreboding feeling of imminent danger. 12 Songs currently

Creepy: For when the party is coming upon some seriously fucked up shit. Maybe they stumbled upon a sacrificial chamber, or one of them is forming a blood pact with a dark god. 43 songs at the moment.

Chase/Time Trial: For when the party is pressed for time or when they’re only choice is to run. Whether they have to solve a puzzle in the next two minutes or they all die, or they’re being pursued through a labyrinth by a bloodthirsty minotaur, this playlist will get their hearts racing. Currently 52 songs.

Sadness: Did a player just die in a blaze of glory, did they old wise sage the party looked up to for so long finally bite the bullet? Then this is the playlist I’ll put on. It’s full of your typical sad violins and such. 29 pieces of music.

Small scale battle: Is the party engaged in a battle with small amounts of enemies that probably don’t have much of a chance of actually killing the party? This is what’s gonna be playing. It’s full of really good and exciting music, but not so exciting that is eclipses what’s actually happening. It’s not exactly fitting to have screaming choruses and loud ass brass when all the players are doing are fighting a few goblins. 112 Songs at the moment

Duel: This is for small scale engagements, usually a single player up against a single opponent are immense power. The songs are suitably epic, but usually don’t contain a whole lot of instruments playing at the same time, thus not giving the sense of a giant chaotic battle, and more of a personal one. 43 songs.

Large scale battle/boss fight: These are for the times when armies clash, or the players are going up single against gargantuan enemy. The strings are going nuts, the horns are going off, all that jazz. However even here I’ll still keep our songs that go above and beyond when it comes to giving a feeling of epic scale. Those songs I reserve for when the players are fighting a truly powerful foe. 137 songs currently.

Final boss first phase: When I say final boss I don’t mean THE final boss, what I mean is the last boss of a certain arc in the story. The character the party has been hearing about for the past 10 sessions is finally face to face with the players with nowhere left to run. These battles are meant to be tough, and lengthy. Thus for the first half of the fight, I have playlist that specifically gives off an epic, yet hopeless tone. The feeling of “there’s no way we’re going to win this but we have no other choice but to fight.” Songs here usually have epic choruses that are going nuts. For examples check the Dark Souls soundtrack, and almost anything from the Evangelion Rebuild films. 144 songs

Final boss second phase: “The dragon has been mortally wounded! We can win this! Just keep wailing on him!” That feeling of hope, light shining in the darkness is what this playlist is meant to make the party feel. Still grand in scale, but with a more daring an positive feel to it. This playlist will come on once the enemy has been bloodied and is showing signs of weakness. 95 Songs

Assign Later: This playlist is reserved for pieces of music that don’t quite fit the bill of the previous ones listed, but I could also still use them in the future. Perhaps I need a certain type of music that fits a certain NPC. These songs typically are too varied in their tone to be able to neatly fit in a stealth section, or a battle. However they could go perfectly with specific moments throughout my campaign, and Ill still have them ready to go in my back pocket. 114 songs at the moment

I’m always looking to add more songs to my playlists, so if you have any suggestions then feel free to let me know! The next DM’s Log will likely come out either Thursday and Friday, after the players roll their new characters from my upcoming campaign. Talk to you then!

#DM’s Log #DMs log #dungeons & dragons #dungeons and dragons #DnD #D&D

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droughtofapathy · 7 years ago

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Great Comet Experience Part Two

I had to split this up because it’s stupidly long. We’re talking like 10k words. You’ll never find a more indepth description anywhere.

Letters:

· Act two commences with another air siren. I love this song. And got so into it when listing to the recording.

· Everyone enters the same door which is the only time this happens. Most of them are in their regular costumes. Hélène is back in her black based with green underskirts dress, Mary has on her shapeless frock again. But Marya (while having on the same blouse as usual, and similar patterned skirt has something different. The skirt is one of those that’s really more of a wrap and it’s completely open in the front. She’s got on these tight leather pants (same Marya shoes as always), and wow.

· Okay so, the company takes their places sitting on the stairs, and facing the audience directly. So I made direct eye contact with Alex Gibson during one show for like a full thirty seconds. And at one point I like raised my eyebrow and he mimicked me and we both just spend a good time smirking at each other. I played it cool, but during another showing when I had eye contact with Grace McLean and she looked at me seductively I’m pretty sure I was close to swooning. Gods, I’m so gay.

· I never got a letter though and I’m so sad. Because during one point, everyone in the company gives the audience letters, and apparently one of the ensemble members (Heath if I’m not mistaken) always writes a different, innuendo laden letter.

· Pierre is so set on killing Napoleon. Dude chill.

· Dolokhov looks so smug when he says he composed the love letter.

· Also while the company is singing the whole “A love letter” they’re all seated and bopping along so well. Marya takes on a lot of Hélène’s manerisms I’ve noticed. She’s so seductive, and drapes herself across the stairs much like Hélène does. Also her (really long and very leather clad) legs are everywhere.

· So when Natasha passes her letter off to Hélène to give to Anatole they both look so excited.

· And the whole audience participation when the letter is passed down the line til the last person gets on stage to give it to Natasha is so cute. Hélène enthusiastically directs it down, and Natasha looks to excited to receive it. During one show, a man didn’t want to get onstage, so the girl in the next row, leapt up and practically flew up stage.

· So, Mary’s letter to Natasha is so full of affection and love. Mary is so in love with Natasha, and in the books they’re like attached at the hip and kiss and hug each other and go out together. It’s so much better than the tense dislike from before.

· Side note: while I love the Natasha/Mary pairing, I’m a huge fan of Sonya/Mary because not only is it a nod to Ghost Quartet (where Brittain Ashford and Gelsey Bell play lovers at one point and it’s so adorably dark) but also both these characters need love and affection and this is way better than what actually happens where Sonya is left alone forever.

· So during the whole “say yes” bit, Anatole gets down on his knee, and asks Natasha like three times, and keeps pulling her closer by her waist (which like, creepy dude), and she looks so confused and conflicted, but in the end gives in.

Sonya & Natasha: (Side note: they really love their ampersands)

· So Natasha is asleep on the stairs and Sonya enters and snatches the letter. Reading in horror.

· Lemme just say, Sonya is so much more sassy live than the recording leads you to believe.

· During the entire song, Sonya is just following Natasha around rolling her eyes, and looking so exasperated by everything Natasha says.

· Other than what the song suggests, there really aren’t any other actions that you can’t figure out from the words. But Sonya just runs off at the end when Natasha yells at her.

· So, this is the point Sonya stops looking exasperated and looks just so heartbroken. This is her best friend, and she’s just screamed that she hates her. This is the part you start crying.

Sonya Alone:

· So wow Brittain Ashford fuck me up. The real and raw emotions are just so mesmerizing. This is the point I wish I was at the final performance because I know this would be the most emotional of them all.

· She starts off conflicted about what to do. Like, does she let her best friend follow her heart, or does she help?

· And as the song goes on she gets more and more sure of what she wants to do. Yes, it is on her, and no she will not let Natasha go to ruin. This is her family, her best friend. And Sonya is completely and utterly devoted to her. She’d give up everything to make sure Natasha doesn’t go to ruin.

· I’ve got a friend like Sonya, and it makes things so much more heartbreaking.

Preparations:

· Mood whiplash in three, two, one.

· Anatole enters Pierre’s office circle with a carpet bag and Pierre is dead drunk. I saw Josh Groben such a long time ago, that I just remember Dave’s performance better, but Dave does drunk word slurring so well.

· He hands Anatole fifty rubles, but Anatole reaches over and snatches the rest of the wad of cash like an ass. Really. Then he goes to the mirror and starts to do his shaving routine.

· So Dolokhov launches into his patter verse. And it is a bop. When he says Natasha and Sonya’s names they are lit up by spotlights. Hélène enters and hands him a cup of tea before going to Anatole. She also laces up her “Abduction vest” thing.

· During this song, Dolokhov grabs hold of Anatole and pins him against the railing to try to talk some sense into him. Then follows him around groaning, and glaring. While Anatole is doing his part of the song, Nick Choksi is off-mic screaming “no no no” in such a done voice.

Balaga:

· So, Balaga begins and everyone bursts onto stage. There are egg shakers and I’ve now got two and I’m so happy. Everyone is dancing, audience included and it’s such a wonderful moment.

· There’s so much twirling. And everything.

· Hélène starts out playing the drum on the top layer. She plays so deadpan (imitation of her total girlfriend Marya D. anyone???) and her eyebrows are quirked up in such a haughty way. Then when the beat kicks up, she hands the sticks off to Marya.

· And Marya is having the time of her life up there. She swings the sticks down on the drum, and waves around, kicking her legs up. It’s great.

· So Balaga is pretty much everywhere during this. He goes from the main stage to the mezzanine, to the main stage again. And I don’t even know how he gets there so fast.

· When he does his “and I never ask for rubles” the company roars their love for him, and when they sing “and we like balaga too” they all practically lurch to him. Marya flings her arm at him and points with her drum stick.

· The whole “woah” parts everyone just gets into position for the real fun. And my favorite part is coming up soon. Also Anatole is doing his twirly routine.

The Abduction:

· Everyone, (and sometimes they encourage the audience to sing this part too) does the “goodbye my g*psy lovers” part and the word is actually a slur, so I’m conflicted. Dave Malloy wrote a really long explanation for why he did this, and it’s logical, but like slurs. So I sometimes like to replace G*psy with either tipsy or pretty. Sometimes I get so into it I forget though.

· Okay so everyone raises their glasses (audience members included) and at one point Grace McLean shouts to her section that “I don’t care if your drinking or you’re not. Raise em up!” and it’s the growl again. I’m hooked. Actually though.

· When Anatole sings goodbye to Matryosha it’s Katrina who passes by with her accordion. We all sway and shake our shakers. It’s the best.

· Then the chaos begins. And you’ve got to see it to believe it. I notice something new every time. (Though I admit I miss most of it because I’m staring at Marya and Hélène, but can you blame a baby dyke?)

· Everyone is screaming and dancing all over the place, there’s some organized dancing, like the circle line. Nick Choksi shoves his guitar at an audience member at one point and screams to hold it because “I gotta go dance” and they do the circle thing. I really love that because the joy of everyone is so visible.

· Then the music gets deliberate, and Alex Gibson and another male ensemble member in the mezzanine have this dance off and they mirror each other and it’s awesome.

· Then comes the real chaos. The music becomes jerky, and everyone just goes wild. Mary is up in the mezzanine flailing about looking so overjoyed. Sonya is backed into a corner by Pearl Rhein with her bow string as a weapon. Heath Saunders just rips his hair out of its bun and starts swinging it wildly. Pages of War and Peace rain down from the mezzanine. There’s a fist fight between Andrey and an ensemble member (Azudi Onyejekwe).

· And of course, my favorite moment. The kiss between Marya D. and Hélène. While everyone else is running about chaotically, they just jump each other. It’s basically a contest to see who can smear their lipstick on the other’s face more. During it, Hélène hoists Marya’s leg around her hip (holy shit she’s got such long legs) and they just rut against each other. Hands are groping everywhere it’s the best And during the second to last show (the last one I saw) they were so into the kissing and grinding that they could find a balance, and they couldn’t get Marya’s leg up long enough.

· Apparently this part of the chaos was entirely Grace and Amber’s idea and they wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I formally thank them for their existence.

· Then, the end of the chaos comes and everyone just collapses where they stand. Ashley Perez Flanagan is seated on an audience member’s lap, Mary is down for the count. Lauren Zakrin is splayed out on the floor. And Marya and Hélène just cling to each other with lipstick everywhere. Even the orchestra just collapses back into their chairs.

· During this point, everyone’s panting and dying, and Dave Malloy has to gasp every time before he launches into his “here’s to happiness freedom and life” part. And at that point everyone launches back up with astounding energy. There’s even more dancing and skirt flinging, and really there’s no reason for Marya and Hélène to be so into each other if they’re not actually dating so Marya/Hélène is real fite me!

· Then balaga is like “let’s get out of here” and they all dash up the steps towards the big doors. At this point, Gelsey, Brittain, and Marya slip out to costume change. And the whole wait sit down bit is so necessary. During the shut the doors part, Balaga is off-mic saying “doors what doors? Oh wow, those are big doors” and it’s so funny.

· Sitting in banquette seating you can see every cast member. Everyone is panting heavily and look like they’re gonna pass out. Sweat is just everywhere. And it would be gross, but it’s just so impressive. Lucas Steele sits down next to an audience member and slings his arm around them.

· Then they’re just about to get up and go when Dolokhov is all like wait a fucking minute here. And Balaga groans and is all like what now?

· But the fur cloak routine is fantastic. So Pearl is wrapped up in it, and I only noticed in the last show I saw that the cloak also has like a gauzy salmon colored part of it in addition to just the fur. But during this part, Dolokhov steals her bow and she plays the fiddle with her fingers, while he plays her. There’s that fiddle symbol thing painted on her stomach, and its such a great detail. She delivers the cloak to Anatole who kisses her (c’mon man not the time!)

· Then they finally head out. Everyone is so excited and ready. Anatole dashes up the stairs towards the big doors (I got hit by the flapping coat), the maidservant (Gelsey Bell you beast) does this amazing Operaesque line. And the doors open, there’s red colored smoke and everything.

· But it’s not Natasha. It’s Marya D. and shit’s about to get real. She just glares at Anatole and the audience goes crazy. If looks could kill…

· So sometimes she starts out with restrained anger during the “you will not enter…” and the growl comes out during “my house, scoundrel” but the last time I saw it she just scream/growls the entire thing and either way I am very turned on and very afraid at the same time.

· Anatole sprints away with a look of terror on his face, and really that’s the only sensible thing he’s ever done.

In My House:

· Okay so while the Prologue is my favorite song, this is the best one.

· So Marya starts off restrained. Scoffing, and smirking with disbelief and rage. When she calls Natasha a hussy, Natasha looks shocked, and Sonya reaches for her from across stage.

· Then she sings “now you listen to me when I speak to you,” twice the first time is calm, and then she fucking screams it and terrifies everyone.

· During the line “do you hear what I’m saying or not” she holds out the last word so much longer live and the t ending is so sharp.

· Sonya just sounds horrified and devastated. Like she wants nothing more than to hug Natasha and never let go.

· Grace McLean deserves a fucking tony like jesus Christ.

· Everything is very pantomime, but at one point when Marya calls Anatole a scoundrel and a rat she grabs Natasha’s chin and Natasha shoves her arm away. Marya stares at her arm in shock, before turning away scoffing like a mother when her kid does something really wrong. Like “oh you think you’re going to act like this, think again bitch”

· But then Natasha screams that they all hate and despise her, and Marya looks so horrified and hurt. She knows she fucked up with how angry she was, and runs over to her. She has to rein in all this anger and shock because it’s definitely not what Natasha needs.

· She screams “Natasha” with such desperation that my heart just snapped. She tells us what she does to comfort her goddaughter and looks just so horrified and heartbroken.

· While Natasha sings what she does, Marya is sitting among the tables writing her letter to Pierre. She sends it off with a grandiose gesture.

A Call to Pierre:

· The servant wakes Pierre from his drunken stupor and Dave Malloy really plays a great drunk.

· He heads off to the Dimetrievna household, and Marya starts off restrained but quickly grows desperate. She pleaded with him and explains, with such urgency that I felt my anxiety welling up. And all that rage that she tempered down comes back with a vengeance.

· Holy shit, so this role is usually a very low voice part, with a lot of that glorious growling. But this song has full on high belting and Grace McLean slays it every time. When she screams “Anatole Kuragin” you know that man is a dead man if Marya D. ever gets her hands on him.

· And when Pierre reveals that Anatole is a married man (gasp! it’s mentioned earlier during the Duel but there’s so much going on that many people miss that moment), Marya is just blown away. During one performance she was like “I fucking knew something was up with this bastard” and during another she was shocked and horrified like “oh shit we are all so fucked”

· And when she orders Pierre to find Anatole, wow. It’s basically the last thing Marya says, and Grace McLean never fails to go out with a bang.

Find Anatole:

· The music turns urgent, and Pierre does more running around than he has ever done before. He goes to the club, and the ensemble are in the mezzanine and on the stairs just gossiping. When Pierre assures them nothing is wrong they all look so disappointed. These people love their gossip.

· So Anatole enters the Bezukhov house stumbling in, and looking completely distraught. Hélène rushes to him, devastated.

· Back at Marya’s house, Marya and Sonya break the news that Anatole is married, and the sheer pain, and anguish on Natasha’s face could make anyone sob. Her denial that he just can’t be married is the moment she realizes the true gravity of the situation.

· Pierre returns home to find Anatole (and really he could have avoided all the running, if he just went home).

· He yells at Hélène and tells her how repulsed he is by her. And holy shit. Okay so let’s dissect this for a minute. Before Hélène mostly spoke and looked at Pierre with a mocking or dismissive tone, but here she looks absolutely terrified of him. When he comes closer, she shrinks back against Anatole. I could see her visibly trembling. She rushes down the stairs and throws herself over one of the banquette booths.

· When Pierre crosses her to get to Anatole she physically recoils and lifts her hand to shield herself from her husband. And maybe this is just a reaction to the visceral rage Pierre gives off, but you can’t tell me Pierre hasn’t or won’t in the future raise his hand to her. She just looks so terrified, and no one ever seems to notice this. And I just want to take her away from that home right now because she’s not safe. She’s not safe at all.

Pierre & Anatole:

· So this is the big fight scene.

· Pierre starts out like Marya. Restrained. But as Anatole gets more and more cocky, Pierre just grabs him and it’s truly glorious.

· Anatole is practically shaking. But quickly recovers when Pierre realizes he’s gone too far. Side note: why the fuck can Pierre back down to Anatole and forgive him when he can’t even do that with his own wife, who is totally way less at fault here. Fucking misogyny that’s what it is.

· So when he is all like “amuse yourself with women like my wife” Helene bolts up from where’s she’s been hunched over on the floor. The look she gives him, part terror, part rage, part disbelief like “how dare you say me or any other woman should have to go through this?” Hélène deserves better. Someone bring her to Marya’s house so they can kiss and make up.

· During this, Natasha crosses to the middle of the stage with a glass of water. She holds it above her head and pours the arsenic into the cup. It’s such a devastating moment. And if you don’t know what’s going to happen you think she’s actually going to die. First she hunches over retching. Then after several beats, she shrieks in horror when she realizes what she’s just done. Somewhere in this, both Marya and Sonya spring up from where they’ve been waiting. Sonya looks devastated and disbelieving and as she runs after Natasha, she’s off-mic just saying no no no over and over. And Marya? Oh gods. Marya looks like she’s going to start sobbing. When she jumps up, she reaches out to Natasha desperately. Just her facial expression. Grace McLean Fuck me up.

· Anatole takes off to Petersburg and the note he hits at the end. It’s truly a fascinating moment.

· Hélène stares at him leaving and her heart is just shattered. She turns to Pierre as though pleading, but he just gives her this horrible glare, and she turns to lean over the banister, clinging to it to stay upright. Someone give this woman a tony for fuck’s sake.

Natasha Very Ill:

· The song begins with sirens. Sonya crosses Marya’s path and for the first time there’s a moment of true affection between them. They’re united in their love for Natasha. Sonya looks at Marya with such devastation, and Marya reaches out to comfort her and assure her as best she can, but it’s not very effective when Marya looks as lost as she does.

· Pierre enters the house, and leads Marya into a chair. Marya knows what to do, she always knows what to do, but now she just looks so small and helpless. There are tears pouring down her face, and just wow.

· On the opposite side Hélène is seated. Hunched over and looking horrified and devastated over Natasha. I think Hélène, even if she wanted to shake things up, genuinely cares for Natasha (after all she is the goddaughter of her girlfriend).

· When Sonya sings that Andrey is to return, the doors open, and the bright light once again illuminates the person coming out. When this happens, the entire cast shields their eyes, looking at him with such a variety of emotions. Marya is anxiously waiting for the axe to come, Hélène looks terrified, Sonya dreads everything. Only Pierre looks somewhat happy to see his best friend, even if it’s heaving mixed with sadness.

Pierre & Andrey:

· So both Nicholas and Blaine deliver the “there’s a war going on” line differently. Nicholas says it with sorrow and exhaustion. Blaine says it angrily like “do you all know what’s happening? And I have to come back for this?”

· He slaps the letters into Pierre’s hand.

· So I’ve got some thoughts about the whole “but I didn’t say I could forgive” because on one hand if Andrey had asked Natasha to marry him again, they’d never be able to move past this. It would always be a sore spot in their life, and it probably would be a terrible marriage. But on the other hand, you fucking hypocrite. I understand where you’re coming from, but c’mon.

· But the clincher is when Andrey returns home. It’s this exchange between him and his sister that condemns him forever for me. Mary is waiting for her brother in her father’s chair. And when she sees him she knows things are bad, but she’s just so happy to see her brother home from war and alive. She rushes to embrace him but he just shoves past her and slumps into his father’s chair. Mary’s face though. Frightened just like she was with her father, and you just know she knows the cycle is going to start up again. Because he is her father’s son. She’s completely defeated, and slumps back onto the floor at the foot of the chair. And you can’t help but wonder if she’s thinking it’s all her fault. Because that’s the kind of person Mary is… and if she had just been nicer, if she hadn’t driven Natasha away that first time…

Pierre & Natasha:

· Natasha comes out in this shapeless shift, and I was just struck by how thin and helpless she looked.

· This whole exchange between them is heartbreaking. Like when Pierre asks her if she loved that bad man, Natasha raises her voice telling him not to call Anatole bad. And people have said this before, but she’s just thinking that if he’s a bad man, what does that make her to fall for him?

· When Natasha doubles over and starts to sob, your entire person feels her pain. In the last performance I saw, she sobbed even louder than I’d heard before. Because the show was ending tomorrow, and emotions were high. And I’m still not okay after that.

· And when Pierre does his spoken line, the entire theater is dead quiet. No music, no nothing. (Side note: during my last show, the woman next to me – who kept snottily telling me that they’d take my phone away if I was using it or recording (and I wasn’t thank you very much) – her phone vibrated at this exact moment, and I can’t tell you how satisfied I was with that. I only regret that she didn’t see the amazing side eye I was giving her. And then during the next song she starts trying to make a call. Like fucks sake!!!)

The Great Comet of 1812:

· So during this song I couldn’t help but think Dave Malloy looked a bit maniacal. His shoulders were hunched, and he had his head tilted into one of them. And he had this stupid little grin on his face. All in all, so Pierre.

· Natasha is the comet, pass it on.

· When the entire cast joins him, it crescendos into this beautiful, and devastating melody.

· I was watching Grace (no surprise there) and she was physically struggling to hold it together. She kept wiping her nose and dabbing at her eyes with the handkerchief. And when the song ended she had to pull herself up and together to finish the bows. I know I’d be a sobbing mess, so she’s just that good!

Bows:

· So the non-instrument playing ensemble comes to the circle around Pierre’s office, and they all take turns with their bows. Then the instrument people come and circle around. The fiddles get their spotlight, and the clarinet, and the accordions. The opera dancers get a spotlight too.

· Then, almost in reverse order from the Prologue intros, the main cast comes out. First Balaga dances around. Mary and Andrey/Bolkonsky do their thing. Everyone is still in character because Mary is so sweet, and thankful, and when the actor for Andrey/Bolkonsky switches between roles, he turns puts on the glasses and shakes.

· Dolokhov does this fantastic air guitar motion, and everyone cheers.

· Then the music changes to something so joyful and upbeat with this rockesque feel. Hélène saunters around (and I forgot to mention her costume from Find Anatole to now is just this super extra dressing down, a corset, her stockings, and undergarments. It’s really something. I want one). During this Marya is just like, “ugh please” but it’s with this exasperated affection (for her girlfriend!)

· The music changes again and Marya spins around bowing. I just really love Grace McLean.

· She then hands it off to Sonya. And then we go to Anatole and yeah he always gets a cheer. Like Lucas Steele totally deserves it, and probably that tony as well. But like Anatole, what a fuckboy.

· Then from the big doors, Natasha and Pierre emerge. There’s a shitton of cheering, and once they’ve acknowledged the orchestra (who all have their own costumes too!) it’s ended.

· And we must say goodbye to our lovers once last time.

Final Thoughts:

· Dave Malloy is a genius who deserves better. The whole cast deserves better honestly, but they’re going on to great things.

· Ghost Quartet is going to be coming to off-broadway for a month, and I want to go so badly.

· Gelsey Bell isn’t real. She’s some otherworldly being with a voice of an angel.

· Brittain Ashford is so pure, and good.

· Denee Benton captures Natasha so well, and I’ve never seen such beauty.

· Amber Gray? More like Amber Gay, amirite? Seriously though, I could listen to this woman all day long. Her voice could melt glaciers. And Hadestown better bring back Amber Gray because I need to hear her sing those songs.

· If I could write an entire thing on how much I adore Grace McLean we’d be here for the rest of time. So I’ll just say that we don’t deserve this woman in our lives. She is amazing and talented, and beautiful, and is both life and wife goals.

· But that, is all I am permitted to say.

#natasha pierre and the great comet of 1812 #great comet #dave malloy #natasha rostova #sonya rostova #marya d #marya dmitrievna #marya dmitryevna akhrosimova #helene kuragina #anatole kuragin #pierre bezukhov #fedya dolokhov #mary bolkonskaya #andrey bolkonsky #prince bolkonsky #it's time to get out of bed and be the starchild i can be

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deadcactuswalking · 6 years ago

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WHERE THE LOVE GO? - THE TOP FIFTEEN BEST HIT SONGS OF 2018

The popular music in America of 2018 was somehow both chaotic and dreary and monotonous as hell at the same time. Constant album bombs and additional rule changes to the charts made the Hot 100 increasingly irrelevant – as if it wasn’t already, and to be honest, I didn’t hate as much of it as I thought I would – in fact, I have since learned to appreciate what little upbeat pop gems we had this year instead of observing it as just a dark, moody year full of mindless egotistical trap-rap... which it definitely was, for the record, I mean, there’s a reason I talk about the UK Top 40 more because the US’ charts seemed a tad painful to keep up with, just going off of exhausted recounts I’ve seen on YouTube and Twitter this whole year. Am I going to preface this with anything more interesting? No, because frankly I don’t think 2018 really deserves it. Let’s just talk about some ground rules.

-I am using the predicted year-end top 125 posted in the Pulse Music forum by MikesMusicReviews to determine what a “hit song of 2018” is. Songs that made it into the top 10 during the charting year (December 2017 to November 2018) count as well.

-This is the best list, and it’s what was posted second. The worst list is out right now if you want to read that, and the list that will count down my picks for the top 5 best and top 5 worst United Kingdom-exclusive hit songs will be out somewhere in the first quarter of the year, I imagine, but don’t expect it too soon.

-If this comes out on the day an episode was supposed to be released, REVIEWING THE CHARTS will be postponed, obviously.

-Finally, this is simply my opinion and I don’t consider myself highly as a music critic. This is just a silly little hobby of mine, and this list’ll probably actually be shorter and more reasonable than the worst list. Nevertheless, we’re counting down...

THE TOP 15 BEST HIT SONGS OF 2018

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

In a rough order of popularity, but no other particular order...

“Psycho” – Post Malone featuring Ty Dolla $ign and “Better Now” – Post Malone

Actual Year-End Hot 100 Placements: #6 and #13 – Peaks: #1 and #3

Yeah, what can I say? As much as I don’t really think Post can handle an album by himself at all, and I still stand by how beerbongs & bentleys sucked, these songs are pretty fantastic, if only for how catchy those hooks are. Seriously, him and Louis Bell can write a damn good chorus.

“Nice for What” – Drake – Year-End: #11 – Peak: #1

This soured on me quite a lot since I first talked about it, but I’m still impressed by how he got a song with a Fabo reference to hit #1 five separate times.

“MotorSport” – Migos, Cardi B and Nicki Minaj – Year-End: #34 – Peak: #6

Migos are too boring for this to really stand out as anything more than wasted potential.

“Back to You” – Selena Gomez – Year-End: #41 – Peak: #18

Nothing about this song remotely works and I love it.

“One Kiss” – Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa – Year-End: #68 – Peak: #26

This was the biggest song of the year in the UK, and while it really grew on me, it didn’t really survive too well to overplay, as I got into more house, I realised that this really wasn’t as unique as I thought it was. “Promises” with Sam Smith sucked though, so I’m glad “One Kiss” was the Calvin Harris single that actually succeeded.

“Happier” – Marshmello and Bastille – Year-End: #80 – Peak: #3

This song is awesome. Do I know why? Absolutely no clue.

“X” – Nicky Jam and J Balvin – Year-End: #90 – Peak: #41

Depending on how I feel, this song is either fantastic, or unlistenable, and sometimes both.

“Call Out My Name” – The Weeknd – Year-End: #78 – Peak: #4

Honestly, I think I just got sick of the Weeknd’s existence in the middle of this year, but this stop still holds up for the most part.

“JAPAN” – Famous Dex – Year-End: N/A – Peak: #28

Famous Dex’s ad-libs are heavenly, but they do make this track feel a tad too cluttered... and yeah, those are all the Honourable Mentions. There aren’t many but that’s because I’ve increased the number of songs on the best list to fifteen, and that’s how it’ll be for years to come, so, let’s just get straight into the list, starting with something that has definitely grown on me.

#15

In Summer of 2018, I said this on my “Best and Worst of 1994” list.

That’s why I hate “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran so much – it lacks what I want from any good pop song, a real hook that reels you in, not because it’s catchy and not because it’s unique, hell, I’m not talking about the musical hook here, just a moment in a song that forces you to pay attention and even if you don’t like it, you will understand why it’s so popular because it demands you to be attracted to it. – me, a few months ago

Yeah, well, um...

#15 – “Perfect” – Ed Sheeran

Produced by Ed Sheeran and Will Hicks – from the album Divide – Year-End: #2 – Peak: #1

It’s grown on me immensely, to say the least, and honestly I think that’s not only because of how there was so much less overplay and I heard it a couple fewer times per day in the latter half of the year, but how I realised this song doesn’t need that moment, and never needed that hook to begin with.

Well, I found a girl, so beautiful and sweet / I never knew you were the someone waiting for me

See, the fact that this song is generic and simplistic is the point, I guess, because it’s much like the artist himself – gingerly. It’s shy and cute in a way that only Ed Sheeran could pull off believably because he’s built his career off of being the everyman (who has since burst into fame, but in his album canon, that never really happened), and this is the climax of it. This is the everyman settling down and planning his life, and almost abandoning the events that are reminisced on in “Castle on the Hill” (which, yes, it’s still a better song than “Perfect”). The production isn’t anything special really either but it is clean and almost like a sweet sweep of cloudy nothingness with a slick acoustic guitar as all of Ed’s songs have, coated in some pretty elegant strings, it’s like the normal, somewhat rough-around-the-edges British dude has just been overwhelmed by the “orchestra” of this love he found with this woman. It’s cute and simple, and in that way it’s as effective as a song with an immense amount of hooks and catchy, interesting blips that can be pointed out and analysed.

#15 – “Wait” – Maroon 5

Produced by John Ryan – from the album Red Pill Blues – Year-End: #58 – Peak: #24

Yeah, this isn’t really a tie either, I just want to talk about as many songs in such little time – because this is a rushed list? Perhaps, but also because best lists are boring as hell, and I want some urgency... speaking of, “Wait!”. This song isn’t a chaotic emergency from the get-go, it’s just a polished and filtered guitar with some transcendent multi-tracked “Oh!” ad-libs, that later become part of the beat. Some may say Adam Levine sounds plastic and manufactured here, but I think he just sounds sick of it all and bored in the best way. He makes dirty looks from his wife’s mother seem like Vietnam flashbacks because he’s so unimpressed or unfazed by everything, it’s kind of hilarious. Oh, yeah, and then the beat drop, which happens way too quickly – and that’s the art of it. The beat drop happening 20 seconds into the song and never really having another effective drop throughout, especially with Levine’s rapid, nasal and sometimes almost triplet-flow falsetto over it, is just a demonstration of how panicked Levine is, and with the alerted trap skitter and the sheer lack of length or development to the track, you feel pain in overly polished material, and yeah, that’s why I still defend Maroon 5, because they still know how to express emotion, despite how their music is no longer close to the quality of stuff like “Sunday Morning”. That bridge where it all builds up into an insane synth that immediately disappears is like an anxious thought creeping up on Levine then just popping out of existence, and the abrupt end to the song is just a book end to this story we’ve been following, where Levine is like a desperate dog using puppy eyes.

Wait, can you turn around? Can you turn around? / Just wait, can we work this out? Can we work this out?

It shows Adam Levine at his purest core – a pathetic shell of a man... with a bunch of tattoos and a Twitter account that mutes the word “SpongeBob”.

#14

Oh, hey, speaking of the Super Bowl fiasco...

#14 – “STARGAZING” – Travis Scott

Produced by Sonny Digital, B Wheezy, Bkorn and 30 Roc – from the album ASTROWORLD – Year-End: N/A – Peak: #8

You know how good this song is? When you go on the Wikipedia page for ASTROWORLD, you can play a small snippet from this song. That means nothing but don’t let distract you because this song is fantastic. It starts with a really eerie synth and creepy guitar before the reverb-drowned snares hit in the intense bass drop. Travis Scott croons about how the psychedelics have “got [him] going crazy”, and I believe it, I mean, this song is trippy, with the spliced vocal samples and the drum fill (as well as the cut) in the beat that sounds kind of like a mistake, just furthering that off-kilter vibe. I love the post-hook as well where he goes into that brilliantly awful falsetto. I don’t think this is mumble-rap at all, but the fact that most of the post-hook is unintelligible makes this song perfect because he isn’t paying attention to you, he isn’t paying attention to the mic, he’s paying attention to the “stars”... and then he realises.

The beat cuts, losing its drums to a reverb echo and then the vocals, with only the eerie guitar and synth it started with, until an elephant-like siren pops up and one brief female vocal snippet, with a ghostly laughter popping up right before the rollercoaster sound effects and it crashes. This is the musical equivalent to Travis Scott getting his priorities straight and realising what his fans want after the bland trap of his last two records, and that beat switch is the best on the album, “SICKO MODE” included.

Oh, yeah, and this new beat? It’s so good, it just has this sweeping feel with Travis’ faster flow (including the echoes) making it feel so fun despite how it sounds like the beat has a splinter in it, if that makes sense. Travis’ bars are funny and almost anthemic, especially this one:

This right here is astronomical / I see you picked up all my ways, I feel responsible / They trying to say that all my problems is improbable / They keep itching at my spit, it’s diabolical, you feel me?

There is no better way to triumphantly start your album, which is already a greatly misleading, scattered and fun, all-over-the-place record, with a fitting ride through Travis’ mindset while producing it. Yeah, it’s astronomical. Next.

#13

I haven’t watched or read any best lists but I think everyone’s gone deep into this song so I’ll keep this brief (like I will for all best list entries if I go by my current formula of a bunch more songs with more urgency and more jokes, hyperbole and a generally fast-paced flow to the list, to make it not feel like a slog). This is “Finesse” by Bruno Mars, which is a great song in its own right, being improved by a pretty obscure female rap artist, I don’t know, you might have heard of her?

#13 – “Finesse” (Remix) – Bruno Mars featuring Cardi B

Produced by Shampoo Press & Curl and the Stereotypes – from the album 24K Magic – Year-End: #14 – Peak: #3

From those first few drum hits and vocal samples that start it off, you know what’s coming.

Drop-top Porsche, Rollie on my wrist / Diamonds up and down my chain (Haha!)

The ad-libs and backing vocals add so much to her verse because they add so much excitement and energy that feels like a crowd following on with Cardi and Bruno, who takes a smoother approach to the sugary slice of 90s throwback new jack swing, especially in the chorus where Bruno isn’t really audible, you just hear the guys behind him reciting his vocals, almost as if they’re hypnotised into this groove, which, honestly, I don’t blame them for. Every melody in this song is gorgeous, mostly because it’s a complete rip-off of 90s R&B but it’s such a good one, that still feels modern, even with the talkbox-like synths, there’s still that polished, clean percussion you hear from modern R&B and Cardi B to mix things up, including a Lil Jon reference. Yeah, even in 90s throwbacks, they want to flash straight to the next decade. Cardi makes me believe Lil Jon was as big in the early-to-mid 90s though, because her boisterous personality is just all over this song, especially the bridge, where she’s drowned out by the instrumental but her charisma drips through anyway, she’s that powerful of a presence. Yeah, Cardi saves this from being forgettable, but it’d still be here if it didn’t have her at all, Bruno brings a lot of that vocal ability we know him for, and it’s very reminiscent of “Treasure”, another of his songs I absolutely loved. Man, I hope this guy sticks to the 90s throwbacks for a while. He’s done several 70s and 80s songs, hell, a whole album of them, so I hope he doesn’t entirely skip this decade when working through the R&B of each era to add to his discography.

I drink ‘till I’m drunk, smoke ‘till I’m high / Castle in the hills, wake up in the sky / You can’t tell me I ain’t fly – Bruno Mars on Gucci Mane’s “Wake Up in the Sky” featuring Kodak Black

Oh, he’s just gone straight to 2010s trap featuring... Kodak Black? Alright, yeah, nevermind, just restart your career entirely, we’ve gone too far.

#12

“Woo”. It’s such a simple, primal exclamation of excitement. It’s so commonplace, especially in rap, because anyone can pull off a “woo”, and it can be in so many varieties. Just going to pull off one little “woo” that you can barely hear? Cool. You’re going to croon “Woo” in the background autotuned to hell and back while Drake’s talking about taking half a Xan? Sure, Travis. You’re going to repeat it ad nauseum to build up hype for a verse like in “Bad and Boujee”? Sure, Offset, you do that. Offset, how about you say “woo” all the time? Like Pusha T, he does that, he says “woo”, although nowadays he prefers “YEUGH”. God, I hope rap ad-libs continue to be a thing, they’re awesome.

#12 – “Ric Flair Drip” – Offset and Metro Boomin

Produced by Metro Boomin and Bijan Amir – from the album Without Warning - #38 – Peak: #13

I have no idea why I love this song so much. Do I like Offset? Yeah, he’s the best Migo. Do I like Metro Boomin? Yeah, I liked this album he released this year, he has iconic producer tags and is the most creative trap producer out there right now. It only makes sense, right, but this is both Offset and Boomin at their most clean, simple and “okay”... except the whole song’s about paying respect to wrestler Ric Flair for popularising the use of the word “woo”. Offset describes his lifestyle as he always does, but he then says, “Ric Flair drip”, so casually, because it should be something that rolls off the tongue, not anything that should be made a big deal.

Soon as we came in the game, all of these n****s, they imitate

Yes, you see, this is an apology from Offset to Ric Flair about jacking the “woo” ad-lib. Sure... I mean, all of that is headcanon, but that hook is insanely catchy, that beat has a classy piano melody that is way better than it has any right to be. Offset’s verses have enough flow switches and fast yet chilled, relaxed delivery to feel like a traditional Migos song... but there’s something about this one specifically. I think it’s how the focus of the song, despite relying on the typical subject matter otherwise, being “woo”, like, the use of the word “woo”, it’s so funny to me, and justifies Offset’s second verse, which is intense, dramatic and slides into the chorus like Offset’s jetski, perfectly, especially when it’s just him, the strings and the 808s. It’s melodramatic, for no reason, with Offset’s rapid flow emphasising the lyrics... which still roll around to being about how when Offset is dripping in jewellery, he thinks about Ric Flair and, paraphrasing, “goes woo on a bih”... I’m glad you and Cardi are back together, I guess, you delightful... homophobe... okay, maybe I don’t like Offset but this is a cool song.

#11

This next song is the most fun, enthusiastic and party-ready scream for help I’ve ever heard.

#11 – “Uproar” – Lil Wayne featuring Swizz Beatz

Produced by Swizz Beatz and Avenue – from the album Tha Carter V – Year-End: N/A – Peak: #7

Keep in mind that this is a beat Lil Wayne has said on record, he does not like, at all... and he kills it. You see, this is a reworking of the G. Dep song “Special Delivery” with Diddy, and Wayne has freestyled over it before on one of his mixtapes, before cutting his verse to say that he doesn’t like it, and passed J. Cole the beat, I believe... you wouldn’t believe me, though, because there’s crowd cheering implemented the beat and pretty much the first half a minute is dedicated to Swizz Beatz hyping everyone up, including another reference to an ad-lib (specifically, Lil Wayne’s lighter flick and bong hit).

If you ain’t got a lighter, what the f*** you smoking for? / We hot, ha!

Seriously, rap ad-libs got meta this year. Anyways, about this being a cry for help, despite how upbeat and fun the party-perfect beat is, the guitar line is actually somewhat menacing and the dark bass largely nullifies all presence of human emotion and excitement, and what do you think Lil Wayne raps about? Well, I’m not entirely sure.

What the f*** though? (DAMN!) Where the love go? (OH) / Five, four, three, two, I let one go (LET’S GO)

He talks about killing someone, but goes into really oddly specific detail (like his other song on the list), but here he specifies the “love going”. So it’s like, he knows he’s betraying this person he clearly cares for but his gangsta rap mentality inspired by 2Pac has hardened him to the point where he doesn’t care. The flow is catchy here, and Wayne sounds hungry, which is fitting for the subject matter.

Money over b****es, and above hoes (THAT’S WAYNE) / That is still my favourite love quote (C5) / Put the gun inside, what the f*** for? (OH) / I sleep with the gun, and she don’t snore (AHHHHHHHHHH)

This is Lil Wayne’s middle-age existential crisis narrated by hilarious yelling from Swizz Beatz adding punch to everything he says, and it’s fitting for a retrospective album such as Tha Carter V.

This the jungle, so have the utmost, for the nutzos and we nuts, so—(IGH!)

I really love this line, because it portrays how much of a chaotic growing up Wayne has had as a jungle, which he went into detail about during his Billboard interview, but he’s just come to accept himself as “nuts”, and he knows that’s unhealthy, but he’s at a point in his life where he just has to come to that as the only solution.

Listenin’ to Bono, you listenin’ to Donald (GODDAMN HE SAY WHAT?!)

Yeah, hit those far-right weirdos with this diss about you being superior to them because you listen to... U2, I guess? Nah, I prefer when I thought he said this:

Listenin’ to Bono, you listen to Don O.

Like Donny Osbourne? Now that’s a diss track line true music nerds would come up with.

I see the shovel, but where did bruh go? (TALK TO ‘EM WEEZY) Hmm, to the unknown (OH!) / Only way he coming back is through his unborns

He calls him “bruh” because he’s so familiar and close to the person he’s murdering, to the point that he knows that he has unborn children? This is either me thinking way too much into these lyrics or genius and grim storytelling from Wayne, and I’d like to think it’s both, and it’s also a hilarious experience if this is an existential crisis, simply because of Swizz Beatz’ existence on the beat.

TALK TO ‘EM WEEZY

#10

So as I’m writing this, Harverd Dropout by Lil Pump, his debut album, has yet to come out, but I’m thinking it’s probably going to suck (Edit: It did) because Lil Pump has made himself bland and uninteresting, or at least the labels have sucked all the ignorant raw energy out of him, because they don’t know why he was so cool in the first place. He was pure energy in the most sarcastic, SoundCloud way possible, without making awful folk albums like X, being boring like his friend Smokepurpp or the Migos, or being a pedophile like 6ix9ine. He was the least problematic of the wave, but he had more charisma and personality than those guys combined, mostly because his one-line hooks were insanely catchy, his beats banged (especially the ones with distorted, crazy basslines), and he had the wit he needed to stand out, with particularly funny lines and running gags always included in his two minutes or less tracks. Now why do I say this? Because I feel bad for Pump, he’s been ripped of its unique characteristics and is now just nothing but a faceless (albeit face-tatted) body for Quavo and executives to paint lyrics onto so they can be regurgitated onto “catchy” trap beats... and this is why I miss songs like this so much.

#10 – “Gucci Gang” – Lil Pump

Produced by Bighead and Gnealz – from the album Lil Pump – Year-End: #44 – Peak: #3

This song isn’t really anything special on the surface, because it’s just Lil Pump spitting a hook and singular verse over a great beat from Bighead and Gnealz, with eerie piano countermelodies being immediately blasted with a hilariously heavy bassline, but that beat, regardless of how strong it is on its own, would be nothing without Pump, and he has no filter in this song, especially since he just calls out a popular brand of airlines by name, even though it was clearly his own fault when he was recklessly misbehaving on a plane because of drug influence... yeah, it doesn’t seem like I actually enjoy the song because of this ramble but that’s the best part of the song, his lyrics, especially when the beat cuts out for Pump to just spout his... “lyrical genius” onto pure silence, with an amount of dopey confidence that makes his family drug operations with his grandmother seem profound.

They kicked me out the plane off a Percocet / Now Lil Pump flyin’ private jet (yuh) / Everybody scream, “F*** WestJet!” (F*** ‘em!) / Lil Pump still sell that meth (yuh)

And he ends off the song with the words that started it all.

Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang

...As the audience realise, Lil Pump has learned nothing and none of the last two minutes and four seconds were of any substance, and wasted your time. That is the genius of “Gucci Gang” – it catches your attention for only two minutes but it feels like more and it feels like something better, something special and most importantly, something mesmerising, for those 124 seconds, then crushes all of your expectations by ending with a cheap fade out. Esketit, indeed.

Other than #2, I feel like this is the hardest one to explain, but I’ll try and get through it. See, Taylor Swift is a very talented songwriter, but her best ever decision was to link up with Jack Antonoff, as the music she’s produced with him has been her most intriguing yet, and I think she could potentially make an amazing album if they really perfected their pop song formula. Swift did take a turn though, a darker one, that involved both a #1 hit and her worst year on the charts yet, as it’s hard to even think that Taylor Swift had a sleeper hit this year. She seems to be doing okay with the tour and all, but I do feel bad for how a lot of people turned on her when she really should be excluded from this narrative... and she would be if she stopped talking about it and making an entire album about her “tainted reputation” that wouldn’t really exist if she didn’t pipe up about it—

#9 – “Delicate” – Taylor Swift

Produced by Max Martin and Shellback – from the album reputation – Year-End: #24 – Peak: #12

This song wasn’t even written by Jack Antonoff, but a lot of reputation was, and even in the non-Antonoff songs you can tell that his influence rubbed off on Taylor, with the beautiful vocoder effect put onto Taylor’s vocals in the intro and the spacey 80s-influenced production, especially with the vibrant synths in the pre-chorus that work as an excellent build-up to a drop that never happens, because Taylor’s still curious about it being soon. I don’t know what the lyrics are about, and I don’t care, because they’re catchy and even kind of odd and janky, so you can tell Taylor wrote some of them. Yeah, the songwriting and storytelling is subtle but all over the place at the same time, I think it’s mostly nonsensical, none of the Genius explanations really make much sense to me – but that’s fine, because it doesn’t attempt to really be all that serious. When it sounds like it, it’s immediately contrasted with the fun, melodramatic 80s synths, the absolutely beautiful bridge and the pitch-shifted vocals. From what I can gather, it’s written like it’s her talking to a guy, but it’s actually her reputation? Eh, who cares? This song is a fun slice of traditional pop in a year that had literally none, and like I said, it’s hard to explain what works about this song, but I think it’s the imperfect songwriting, because that’s Taylor’s main appeal to me. Even in her poppier, more “sell-out” efforts, you can tell that it’s home grown and not entirely polished. The production and songwriting does feel “delicate” in that regard... Huh.

Oh, yeah, speaking of people being delicate... and Taylor Swift...

#8 – “Yikes” – Kanye West

Produced by Kanye West – from the album ye – Year-End: N/A – Peak: #8

Now this song is a joke. I thought it was a legitimate expression of his struggles with bipolar disorder, but he said that he doesn’t have it, and then he said he needs meds for it? I’m not entirely sure about his status but as a fan, as long as the music’s good and he’s mentally okay, that’s all I’m worried about. Now about this song being a joke, well, yeah, it’s a joke at Kanye’s expense.

S*** could get menacing, frightening, find help / Sometimes I scare myself, myself

When he’s off the medication, when he’s crazy, when he doesn’t know what he’s going to do next, he panics, understandably, but instead of making a dramatic fuss about it, he makes a fun trap-influenced banger with several jokes pulling fun at potentially “problematic” or sensitive topics, but it’s his best material in a while, running off with Juvenile’s “Ha” flow, in the first verse, talking about how he’s scared of getting #MeToo’d (surprisingly he’s avoided that), how he made TMZ watchable by turning it into “Smack DVD, hanh” and how he got resurrected by drugs after he thinks he’s run creatively dry, which is something he’s mentioned on Twitter afterwards.

Yeezy, Yeezy trollin’ OD, hanh

I like this line as it demonstrates how there’s a thin line between Kanye “trolling” and joking around, and legitimately being dependent on hard drugs or medication to the point where he could inevitably overdose, and covering that up with humour, which is what he’s been doing his whole career: playing the underdog whilst covering all his insecurities in bragging about, as he said himself, “money, hoes and rims again”.

The second verse is hilarious too, as he rambles about how he hates hospitals and would rather be in North Korea smoking with Wiz Khalifa (presumably in his cool pants), whilst cheating on his wife, Kim Kardashian.

Ask your homegirl right now, you had a shot at Ye? You drop everything!

I love these spoken word interludes as it’s just primal Kanye releasing pure thoughts, especially in the outro, where he brilliantly says that his bipolar disorder is just a “superpower” instead of just a mental illness, and whether this is unhealthy or a legitimate attempt at normalising mental health issues we don’t really know, you never do with Kanye, but one thing’s for sure: this song is a great example of honesty on record, and it really shines in those stand-up comedy moments throughout. Oh, and that melody is just like three seconds of a string sample from another piece of music pitched down, cut and time-stretched to sound like a vocal saying “hey”, DJ Mustard style. Now that’s genius.

I’m so. Freaking. Glad this. Song exists.

#7 – “Mine” – Bazzi

Produced by Bazzi and Rice ‘n’ Peas – from the album COSMIC – Year-End: #21 – Peak: #11

Don’t get me wrong, this song is pure aesthetic-pop, music that only exists for the “vibe” and has no substance or artistic merit, in the lyrics or the composition. This is Snapchat filter level R&B... hence why it was used as a Snapchat filter and became a meme because of it. Although that stodgy flute melody can’t be denied, and I like how the filter starts off filtered before becoming entirely honest and blunt, because this is just Bazzi expressing pure love for this girl, although his motives are disputed throughout.

Hit it from the back and drive you wild

Throughout the whole song, you know for a fact that this man just wants sex, despite how genuine he attempts to be, and that’s the appeal, it’s Instagram filter pop because he puts a filter on something that is really ugly, natural and primal: lust. That’s not only pretty funny to me but it makes all the bluntly delivered lines feel not only like lies but manipulation – like when he chuckles right after crooning “eyes”, like, yeah, you care about her eyes, sure, Bazzi, sure. And then there’s the twinkly drop, with quite literally a twinkle prior to the chorus, and a cute synth that plays throughout, as well as multi-tracked vocal harmonisations that immediately come to a stop for an 8-bit escalation sound... Yeah, I don’t know what the deal with that is either but it all adds to the song’s statement of sorts: This isn’t what I really think, and the synths in the background are emphasising the lie. It’s cutesy, but in the most scummy way.

Waste this night away with me, you’re mine

“Yeah, waste it, because that’s all it’ll be, a complete waste, because I don’t care, I just want to pamper you until you’re in bed with me.” The mini-rap verse in the second verse with those cheesy Rhodes pianos is hilarious, especially the last line about turning her into a bride. Now, that’s an innuendo I don’t want to explain.

I can’t look away, I just gotta say

Yeah, he can’t look away, but he can’t even bring himself to say that the girl is his, because she isn’t. He doesn’t want her to be either, he doesn’t care, he just wants sex and it’s evident throughout the whole experience, with all these cloudy synthesizer melodies covering a storm of lust and sex-fuelled deceit.

Eminem is a great technical rapper, and sometimes he is funny, sometimes he has a couple good flows and subject matter that makes a decent song. If this was the early 2000s, I wouldn’t need to specify technicality. I could have just said, “Eminem is a great rapper”, and I would need no other introduction to this entry on the list, but Eminem has fallen off, especially in recent years, with a couple awful records, including his biggest misstep, Revival, which, frankly, everyone hated. There’s no beating around the bush here, there is no critic who really enjoyed this album too much, so as a response, Em dropped a remix to his song “Chloraseptic” where he mocked them (and missed the point)... but that wasn’t enough.

#6 – “Lucky You” – Eminem featuring Joyner Lucas

Produced by Boi-1da, Illa da Producer, Eminem and Jahaan Sweet – Year-End: N/A – Peak: #6

See, it’s that one intense bell melody that makes this song so good, not the orchestral or piano riffs added onto it, not the brass, not the rapping, not the lyrics, but that bell loop, because that’s what makes this song so urgent and intense, and so furious. If the bell loop was any slower or pitched lower, this song wouldn’t bang nearly as much, but it’s not like Joyner and Em wouldn’t try. Like I said there’s a heavy bass and trap percussion here, and it’s great, but Joyner Lucas goes off, essentially yelling in his first chorus before the smooth transition to Joyner’s verse, where he essentially just lets everyone know he’s back on his BS, while proving all of the rappers that are charting from one hit that he’s been there for a decade and still isn’t quitting, and despite people wanting him tied down, he is the “underdog who never lost hope”, as he says himself, and is finally finding success. Not only do I love his verse’s content, other than the part where he says some homophobic slurs in Spanish for some reason, but his flow is awe-inspiring. It’s simple but charismatic, constantly switching and it’s still clear what he’s saying, even in the fast-rap section. It’s pretty cool, to say the least, especially the last line, which is just kind of hilarious:

Snakes in the grass trying to slither fast, I just bought a f***ing lawnmower (VROOM)

Then he passes the mic to Eminem, who repeats the chorus with a couple differences, notably how he doesn’t believe his Grammys were well-deserved or earned, until the bass drops and he somehow trumps Joyner so much that it’s not even funny. While I don’t necessarily agree with what he says about the new wave rap, Em doesn’t seem to, either? He says that he feels bad for all the lean these guys are doing (to the point where they have brain damage) and that he doesn’t hate trap, but no one in the game is like his old fueds with Ja Rule, Benzino and, uh, Mariah Carey, or even technically great enough to make him have the fire to snap and make great music again like his friends used to force him back in the day. He needs the desire to snap back at the criticism, but he doesn’t have it, and—wow, this is the most self-deprecating brag-rap song I’ve ever heard. Then they both finish off the song by repeating the first part of Joyner’s verse, and it’s all come full circle, but not a single moment was wasted. Oh, Eminem went quicker than “Rap God” on this one as well, that’s pretty impressive to say the least. Next.

Wow, we’re already in the top five – now, these are the five (or in this case, six) songs I have the most trouble explaining, because to be this high on the list, you have to have some form of connection with me, because it has to last the whole year and I have to still care about it enough to write about it passionately. I first heard this song in late 2017 and honestly, it’s still growing on me and could easily be my #1 by the end of this year, but that’s beside the point. How do I write about this song? How do I gather my thoughts on “Mo Bamba” by Sheck Wes without yelling profanities at the top of my lungs?

OH! F***! S***! B****! / YOUNG SHECK WES AND I’M GETTING REALLY RICH (CHING CHING)

Honestly, I have no idea, so just read me try and make sense of this song.

#5 – “Mo Bamba” – Sheck Wes

Produced by 16yrold and Take a Daytrip – from the album MUDBOY – Year-End: N/A – Peak: #6

“Mo Bamba” by Sheck Wes is raw, and makes you think Sheck Wes is an absolute beast with no remnants of human characteristics, because he can’t really be a human if you take only his music into account. He’s either a droning robot man or a confused, furious animal that’s been caged for too long and is trying to get out, but can only yell the word “bitch” at the cage so many times. That iconic piano line is given like two seconds to play out before being interrupted by producer tags and the bass-heavy beat, with Sheck Wes just moaning about people calling his phone in the most dreary way possible (no autotune either to add artificial vibrato), with only ad-libs to hype up the droning slog of a performance, and those ad-libs absolutely help, especially those ring-rings and the iconic ad-lib you know him for, but also the panting and the maniacal laughter. I couldn’t care less about what Sheck is saying, I’m pretty sure it’s violent, but I don’t care. Then he takes a long, odd pause, just to continue like nothing happened, as the chorus continues with a slight increase in energy. Then he mentions Drake.

Call me Drake how a n**** control—

Then the beat cuts out because Take a Daytrip’s ancient computer lags, what do you do? Well, scream like a madman, of course. What else to do? You’ve freestyled the whole song, you’re on a roll, don’t let that stop you, Sheck Wes... and he really doesn’t, because he goes insane and we just have to listen with our jaws dropped for that one verse, and I can barely describe in words how that feels, that one verse is just transcendent in a weird way. It’s a release of anger and frustration that you have with the song droning on, that Sheck Wes has with the hoeeeeeeeeees caaaaaallllling, and it feels so raw and energetic, like one man against the world and he tells them to stick it in the purest way possible, by yelling profanities, threatening violence and making ching-ching sounds in the background, and it’s reasonable, because you’ve gotten through one and a half minutes of just one constant routine and this is your one big break... until it just continues like normal, until it stops abruptly so Sheck Wes can have his own mini-verse about the DOOOOOOOPE and gettin’ rich with his BROOOOOOOOOS and taking YOUR girl and she don’t even let you KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

Now this one is an actual tie, not like #15, because this one has a genuine connection that isn’t subjective or only a loose relation, but I decided to tie these because they’re both excellent and brilliant songs produced by the one and only Pharrell Williams. Let’s just forget about Sweetener, and get mad ethnic right now.

#4 – “Lemon” – N.E.R.D. and Rihanna

Produced by Pharrell Williams and Kuk Harrell – from the album NO_ONE EVER REALLY DIES – Year-End: #83 – Peak: #36

The truth will set you free, but first it’ll piss you off.

N.E.R.D. made an amazing comeback in December of 2017 with the crazy good album NO_ONE EVER REALLY DIES, although it kind of got overshadowed by releases from BROCKHAMPTON and Eminem with more longevity, which is unfortunate because it’s one of the best albums I’ve heard from this decade. I own it on CD and at any chance I get to talk about it, I will. There are three versions of this song that all technically charted, but the one with Rihanna is the prime version. There’s a solo version and a Drake remix, but honestly why would you bother when this exists?

It starts with a manic bounce-influenced hyphy beat, reminding me of the Triggerman beat that bounce producers used to use back in the day and still do in Miami scenes, but unlike “Nice for What” by Drake, which just kind of lifted the sound and didn’t develop it or do anything interesting with it, Pharrell raps on the plucky synths and 808s like he was in an intense police car chase, fitting as the song is about authority and race politics which I’m not going to get into, because I don’t care, I just want to be bouncing around, bouncin’ to the sounds of hate supplements found right in their couches... what?

Yeah, that’s an actual lyric, but he doesn’t just spout nonsense over a bounce beat, no, he switches it with a stretched 808 section, using an Instagram video from a social media comedian and a blood-curdling shriek as a transition, then turns into a trap beat for Rihanna to brag on, and by God, I think I’m in love. This is the best performance, hands down, on the Year-End list, no question. Her flow, which switches throughout, is constantly slick and her delivery is powerful, carefree and fantastic.

Woo! This beat tastes like lunch

After a freaking Star Trek reference, it goes back to Pharrell talking about bath salt as his vocals are twisted in every possible way imaginable, as he raps about pulling up in a broken car not because he doesn’t have money, but because “your eyes get acidic”. Oh, N.E.R.D., please don’t leave us for this long next time. Wait, wait a minute--

Also #4 – “Stir Fry” – Migos

Produced by Pharrell Williams – from the album Culture II – Year-End: #48 – Peak: #8

Oh, he also produced this, just to show his versatility and Goddamn, is this one a great flip of the classic Mohawks “The Champ” sample, making an almost difficult beat. Pharrell, the genius producer he is, just lifts pretty much everything possible from this song, from the off-kilter snares, bongos and cricket sound effects from the whistles in the original, for the Migos to flow over, and I love the coating of keys every few bars that harmonises with the refrain, now that is godly production, especially for a top 10 trap-rap song, which I can only barely describe it as, really. I love Quavo’s eerily droning melodies in the refrain, before the hook that leads perfectly into Offset’s amazing verse, which is really short but also has a rapid flow to it, like it’s so fun and energetic, really proving how despite competition from Quavo’s brilliant ear for melody and hooks, Takeoff’s chilled rap skills, he is the best Migo.

Oh, there’s this distortion coming in on like the third chorus which is just an ugly synth that disappears immediately when Takeoff comes in, for one of his shortest yet best verse, until he copies Quavo’s refrain in the funniest way, where Takeoff knows he can’t sing, so makes his shoddiest effort possible and it’s majestically awful, like it’s seriously such an interesting experience to have Takeoff essentially croon off-key moaning about how everyone’s watching him in your ear, it’s oddly soothing and by God, I think I’m in love again. Everything I said about “Lemon” applies here, it’s manic, insane, somehow not a cluster of random sounds despite being just that, and finishes way too quickly when it deserves and can easily take another minute or two doing its thing. Pharrell brings out the best in everyone, even two homophobic weirdos and Takeoff.

So this is the hottest take of the bunch, and I think I like this because it’s a catchy, fun pop song in a year that didn’t have many, but it’s also probably because I’m lame and like sincere songs about love as well as awfully misleading “I just want to get into her pants” songs that pretend they’re sincere songs about love, and this is just a song like that... except it’s both? And it’s not really about love at all?

#3 – “I Like Me Better” – LAUV

Produced by LAUV – from the album I met you when I was 18. (the playlist) – Year-End: #35 – Peak: #27

This song is way too robotic to be about love, it’s way too stiff and way too sad. There’s not even a real flower on the single cover art, that is a plastic replica, I tell you. I think it’s about LAUV’s caffeine addiction. See, that’s why the guitar is scratchy and you can hear every single slap and string being hit with a twang, every single mistake, it’s organic, unlike the rest of the song. The guitar and his passion for music and songwriting is the only remnant of his personality before the first time when he got morning coffee, which caused him to stay for a long time and get addicted, eventually causing himself to believe that he has to rely on caffeine to live and he’s only productive when he’s—

Falling in love for the first time and being in a four-year relationship that taught me everything about myself, the world and how to love. – LAUV about the album this song originates from

Well, nevermind. Then why is it so stodgy? Is it because this love doesn’t exist, because if anything from the interview, it seems it does. The main drop melody is actually a vocal sample manipulated which I think represents the sheer emotion he’s feeling when he’s in love, how he can’t even find the words to describe this relationship that’s almost trapped himself into a cycle of fake finger-snaps and falsettos. Is its cutesy disguise and ugly drop supposed to be his facade disappearing and him finally realising love doesn’t mean anything and he’s been manipulating himself this whole time? Honestly, I don’t know, and I’m not going to over-think it anymore. This is a dude that’s just genuinely in love, or at least was, and is longing for her to stay with them, because LAUV thinks that when he’s around his true love, his soulmate, or at least who he thinks is his soulmate at the time, he’s a better person because of them, and he also said in that interview that the album is about him finding the ability to trust himself, so I think this is his first step, finding someone he can confide into. I like that, and I think this song’s head-in-the-clouds nature and atmosphere expresses that perfectly because he’s found himself in something he can’t safely get himself out of, but he doesn’t mind. It’s cool with him.

I like me better when I’m with you

It’s a pretty nice acoustic tune with some nice, dramatic synth work and a confusing yet perfect drop, and despite me having no clue what to think about it, really, I definitely know that I love how it sounds and I’m excited to hear more of LAUV in the future...

...Man, what did I just do? I put freaking LAUV on my best list, how humiliating is that? How am I ever going to be taken seriously when I put LAUV on my list of the best songs of 2018? Hopefully I can redeem myself with my choice for #2, Rae Sremm—What?

#2 – “Powerglide” – Rae Sremmurd (Swae Lee and Slim Jxmmi) featuring Juicy J

Produced by Mally Mall, Jean-Marie Hovart and Mike WiLL Made-It – from the album SR3MM (specifically disc 1, which is also titled SR3MM) – Year-End: #97 – Peak: #28

Yeah, the credits for this one are really THAT convoluted. Anyway, this one barely made the Year-End list and barely counted for this list, but even if it didn’t, this would be on the list, maybe lower for the sake of sticking to the rules though. Anyway, this is a Memphis rap song that just straight-up takes the beat from an old Three 6 Mafia song, bass-boosts it and has Rae Sremmurd rap on it about cars and strippers. So, what’s so special about it? Everything. It immediately puts you in that pump-up mood with Swae’s fun “yeah” ad-libs over intense strings and then the producer tags lead into the bass that knocks way too hard. The hook is way catchier than it has any right to be, and it’s just a simple flow but it’s so fun and swift, especially over this classic beat, with Swae dripping charisma from both his standard high-pitched singing vocals and his autotuned falsetto mumbling. In fact, the song as a whole is so positive. The lyrics may seem just like the standard rap fare because, really, they are, but they’re all so happy, upbeat and delightful, because this song is about respecting strippers for their work... in a car which is apparently just as good as an original generation Transformer. Cool, I guess?

R.I.P. Lil Peep, I gotta slow down on them Xans (HEY!)

Yeah, rest in peace to Lil Peep, and this line from Juicy J should be a message to rappers who are more careless about their hard drug use, it will mess you up and can kill you if you get an untrustworthy dose of fentanyl, be careful, guys. Wait, wasn’t this song about cars? Anyway, back to the song being positive, here’s a quote from Swae Lee that describes how cheery this song actually is, regarding the lyric, “she finer than a motherlover”.

I had to say it in the softest way. I want to say she’s beautiful, basically. She finer than a motherf***er—that’s kind of harsh. – Swae Lee on Genius’ Verified

That’s so pure. Just listen to the hook, which is already catchy and fun, and you can see how passive yet joyful this song is.

Kush all in my lap because these hoes don’t want to roll it

He’s not going to force them to smoke if they do not want to, he’s just going to put it in his lap. How nice of you. This whole song is about doing the usual rapper schtick, getting strippers to dance for you and smoke with you in a fast luxury car whilst wearing designer clothing, but they’re so respectful about it. Slim Jxmmi brings so much charisma to the track in his verse, and even shouts out the strippers directly, and says that sex workers and strippers shouldn’t be degraded just because of their line of work.

Might just leave with me tonight, but that don’t mean she a freak hoe / F*** with dancers and models, shout out them girls who get dollars

Jxmmi even specifies that if she wants, she can dance with her friends.

Shake that a** with your bestie

How nice of you, how respectful. Honestly I’m talking about the lyrics because there’s not much to say about the performers or the beat, it doesn’t change for the most part and each performer brings a unique delivery that keeps the turnt up vibe of the song. It’s an absolute banger and one of the best of 2018.

Much cooler than the cool kids, whoa

That’s cute, Swae. That’s cute. The song ends with Swae just chanting “hey” over and over and that’s a perfect way of finishing this banger, albeit abruptly. Uh, what else do I have to say about this? Uh, Slim Jxmmi is the best out of Rae Sremmurd and while I expected Swae Lee to have the bigger solo career, I am disappointed that it wasn’t Jxmmi, because he is such a legitimately fun and hype personality that I wish got more recognition. There’s a MuchDank video that replaces words in this song with “peanut butter” and it’s hilarious. Juicy J’s a legend. R.I.P. Lil Peep. Now it’s time for the big one.

After struggles with the label pulling him down and not letting him release music, and Birdman’s constant abuse and mismanagement, Lil Wayne managed to free himself in a court case and have a resurgence in the mainstream, mostly due to the release of his best album yet, Tha Carter V. Now I’ve already talked about “Uproar”, but now for the truly genius storytelling track on the record, and probably my favourite song that either artist has ever made, lasting longer than five minutes, that somehow nearly debuted at #1 on Billboard. Screw you, Maroon 5.

#1 – “Mona Lisa” – Lil Wayne featuring Kendrick Lamar

Produced by Infamous – from the album Tha Carter V – Year-End: N/A – Peak: #2

How in the mother of God does this song not have a Wikipedia page? This track is cinematic and presents itself beautifully, especially its story, which is about Wayne observing a deceptive woman who Wayne hires in order to rob a dude after the woman succeeds in seducing him for weeks and gaining his trust, before being betrayed. Kendrick then shifts the perspective to the “boyfriend” and talks about his feelings as he’s being deceived. That is the story in a nutshell, but the track makes it feel like a blockbuster movie.

We start with a light piano melody with Kendrick riffing a little refrain briefly before that lighter flick, which feels more tense than ever, as he sums up Wayne’s role as the mafia boss who essentially just sends women to hunt these men so Wayne can have the loot while not caring about himself or the dude they’re robbing. It’s awful and dreadful, and that’s why Kendrick’s verse is so good, because it gives a bigger picture to both perspectives and doesn’t just become a pointless, one-sided track from Wayne’s autotuned, braggadocios side of the story.

I see n****s in this b****, stuntin’, poppin’ bottles / Gettin’ drunk with these b****es, and when they leave they get followed / Fall asleep with that b**** and really don’t know much about her / Then she let us in, we take all of your s*** and when you wake up, she help you try to find it / I love it

Yeah, essentially, thanks, Wayne, for making my commentary and synopsis entirely unnecessary by explaining the whole thing in the first few bars. Wayne does later go into grim detail about the situation, with some really clever lines here and there.

Watch your mouth, Milli Vanilli (Ooh)

That b**** ain’t no angel, I treat her halo like a Frisbee

Lil Wayne’s intense second verse develops the story by detailing his experience with the girl named Liz who is one of the women he hired, as he hides in the bushes outside, turns music on to distract him and follows her into the house, then turning the music down and putting a gun to his frown, as he says in the song, just to get the pure satisfaction of seeing his terrified face as he is being robbed and killed by Wayne and his gang, as he finds out that Liz has been deceiving him. It’s fantastically evil, with the spacey beat only furthering this atmosphere. I love the comparison to Mona Lisa’s ambiguous smile as well. The song seems like it would end at about three and a half minutes in, but then...

Kendrick Lamar comes in with an ad-lib, he’s that good, and impresses over an orchestral instrumentation, beeping noises, distorted multi-tracked vocals of his own lyrics and police sirens... what? He then shifts his perspective to Liz’s “boyfriend” after he’s being robbed, panicking and sniffing around Liz, completely flabbergasted by this fake story that he’s been believing for weeks, maybe months, years, on end, and it all wasn’t worth it – and it’s all executed excellently, sometimes it’s really funny too, especially in that blip where Lil Wayne’s hit “Lollipop” comes up on Liz’s ringtone, it’s great. Both brought their A-game here, and when it comes to the end of Kendrick’s verse, well...

You scandalous as f*** and I hope you blow up / You know what? I give up, let me go get my gun / I got one in the chamber, I’m plannin’ on aimin’, Goddamn it, you know that the damage is done / B****, I’m in emotional ‘cause I’m in stress / I’m not supposed to go through this, I guess / So in conclusion, since you like rappers that’s killin’ that p****, I’m killing myself

Well? Do you expect me to say anything about that? It’s pretty self-explanatory, and with Kendrick Lamar’s rapid flow, it sounds insane. This song is one of the most perplexing hits of the year, but it’s one that actually requires you to think. It tells a story. Sure, it’s dreary like the worst of the year instead of joyful like its runner-up but it’s genius songwriting, all in a pop context, for five straight minutes, all elegantly orchestrated in a cinematic tone that makes it feel worth of a film adaptation. That’s what I like in pop music, when everyone has everything sorted out and it’s perfect, or imperfect, because every single little trait about the song has been ironed out and perfected to extend the song’s quality, personality, length, story and overall massive feeling. This is the peak of 2018 pop music, and I think that’s pretty safe to say, nobody expected this from Wayne in 2018, and with the amount of trouble Wayne had to go through to even get this released, with Birdman pulling its release for years to Martin Shkreli leaking a snippet and potentially meaning it never got out to the public ever, this feels triumphant, and an essential piece of music when examining the late 2010s, a time when the American public was that insanely depressed and downbeat that they let a song about hiring women to trick men into being robbed, leading to the man killing himself because he’s been living a lie, that lasts five minutes and doesn’t even have a hook, fight with a plastic, inoffensive Maroon 5 song for the #1 spot on the most prestigious music chart worldwide, and nearly bloody make it as well. And to think I nearly gave this to freaking Rae Sremmurd. Thank you, Lil Wayne, Kendrick Lamar and Infamous, thank you for “Mona Lisa”, the best hit song of 2018, by far – and thank you for reading, see you next time.

She say, “Ooh”, no emotion, Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa / Now he gets the picture, Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa, yeah...

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