#the banter is better than the sex tho

[ecstarry]

i'm here to let u guys know that toxic exes jegulus who end up fucking after regulus leaves a date to go pick up james from a bar is on it's way

update: here babes

[buckysgrace]

okay hear me out pls, or u can ignore me forever…but what about gator comforting the reader (she’s 21 tho and in secret relationship with gator for months now) about her spring allergies causing her insomnia and her stuffy nose driving her insane all day but he takes care of her? maybe he makes her feel good even down there with his mouth bc he knows it helps her sleep hehe and she literally falls asleep but he’s gentle (bc she’s still sore from last night) while he eats her out and is holding his hand? <3 love ur writing sm, keep up ur work ^^

CW: Oral sex <3

Hope you enjoy!

“What’s wrong with you?” He questioned, watching the way you dramatically threw yourself back on the bed. You grumbled, your head pounding and nose stuffed full of tissues. You’d done nothing but suffer the past few days, unable to sleep and forced to live with the constant ringing behind your eyes.

“Allergies,” You whined as you held you hands out, watching the way he crossed your room slowly, “I feel terrible.” You grumbled as you blew your nose again, then tossed the tissues into the trash can. Your body was aching, sore from how your cold was affecting you. 

“You look pretty funny too.” He commented teasingly, grinning as he looked down at you. You were surprised that he’d come by at all, knowing that there wasn’t much that you’d actually be able to do. You didn’t want him to deal with you coughing and sneezing anywhere either. 

“Thanks,” You said dryly, but felt a smile forming against the corner of your lips, “I thought you couldn’t come by?” You watched as he shrugged his jacket off and sat it on one of your dressers. Spring had rolled around, but there was still a light dusting of snow still leftover from the last storm. 

“I can always sneak away for you,” He grinned as he sat at the edge of your bed, brushing his fingers across your cheek, “You still can’t sleep?” He questioned you softer this time, sounding concerned as you rested your cheek against his palm. 

“No,” You moaned pitifully before you sighed deeply, desperately feeling the need to fill your lungs with air, “I start to fall asleep but then I wake up to sneeze or cough or just because I can’t breathe.” You were truly in misery. 

“Poor baby,” He mocked as he pouted his eyes out, his tongue condescending yet his eyes told a different story. They were soft, gentle and full of worry. It made you a little nervous as you crept deeper into your sheets, “What are we going to do to fix that?”

“Don’t know,” You said softly, smiling at the way he rubbed his thumb across your hip, “I’ve tried everything.” You drew out playfully, sighing deeply as you looked at him again. You really enjoyed the look that grew in his eyes, how sometimes you swore you could see just how much he cared for you. Even if he didn’t admit it yet. 

“Everything?” He questioned as he tilted his head, raising his eyebrows like he knew more than you. You grinned in response, enjoying his little banter. He really did make you feel better, even without really trying.

“Mhm,” You nodded along, “Just about. I think I’m just forced to suffer.” You rested your hand on your head playfully, feigning dramatics as he chuckled softly. He shifted a little closer to you, beginning to move his legs underneath your own. 

“Maybe I can help?” He suggested as he pulled the blankets off of you, making you shiver in response. You watched him curiously as he pulled your legs apart, settling between them. 

“What have you got in mind?” You asked him curiously as you sat up on your elbows, doing your best to keep from sneezing everywhere. He pressed down on your hips slowly, making you settle back against the mattress. 

“Just relax,” He mumbled as he looped his fingers through the band of your pajama pants. He slowly tugged them down your thighs, his eyes hazy as he drank in the image of your skin. You still felt nervous sometimes with how intensely he watched you, like he was memorizing every inch of you, “I’ll take good care of you, mama.” He promised sweetly, his lips curling into a smirk.

He dipped between your thighs dragging his lips against your smooth skin as he inhaled the scent of you. It made you quiver, goosebumps forming on your skin as he slowly pressed his mouth against your panties. 

You breathed out slowly, your lungs filling with much needed air as he flicked his tongue out against your clothed cunt. You whimpered in response, your clit tingling with desire as he messily licked across your panties.

“Gator,” You whispered softly, moaning as your hips jerked in anticipation, “Please. Don’t tease me.” You begged softly as you brushed your fingers across the top of his head, knowing that he liked to have his hair played with despite his protests. 

“Alright,” He mumbled as he placed a few more kisses against your panties, “Only because you don’t feel good.” He added, giving you a knowing look as he began to tug the material down your thighs. He kissed at one knee, bringing it up as he slowly slid one ankle out of them.

He dragged his lips teasingly across your cunt, flicking his tongue against your sensitive clit to make your hips jerk forward again. You sighed blissfully, your headache and stuffy nose forgotten as he dragged his tongue across your clit.

His mouth was warm and wet, sloppy as he curled his tongue through your folds. He licked away your slick, inhaling the taste of you as he gripped the back of your thighs. He squeezed softly, like he was trying to keep from digging his fingertips into your flesh.

He wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking softly as you felt a wave of pleasure crash over you. You rolled your hips slowly, whimpering and whining as he began to languidly flick his tongue across your sensitive bud. Your toes curled in awe as moans rolled off of your tongue, filling the room in a loud melody. 

He groaned against your cunt, his desperation evident by the way he continued to drag his mouth against your wet folds. He played with your clit, continuing to flick his tongue against it in the manner that you licked.

He spread your legs further, exposing you further to him as he moved his mouth downwards. He dragged his tongue across your hole, teasing you as he slowly slid his tongue inside of your spongy walls. You gasped as you stretched around him, inviting him inside as he licked at your cunt.

“Jesus, Gator,” You moaned as your fingers tangled into the back of his hair, tugging him closer as you began to rock your hips forward more frantically. His nose began to brush against your clit, digging into you as he curled his tongue deeper inside of you, “Oh my God!” You squealed, your lungs straining as the pleasure crashed over you.

Your clit was throbbing as he continued to flick his tongue inside of your walls, licking away your slick as his nose dug into your clit. Everything felt too good as you rocked yourself against his face, not caring how messy you made him. 

The pleasure crashed over you, cracking inside of you as you came with a loud cry. Your fingers tightened in his hair, pulling him closer as you felt the waves rocking through your body. He whined from underneath you, his hips pressing into the mattress as he held onto your thighs tightly. It burnt a little bit, but in a good way. In a way you craved.

“Fuck,” He groaned as he slowly came up for air, but continued to kiss along your sensitive pussy. His eyes were glazed over as he met your gaze, his face coated in your slick, “Your little tang tastes so good for me. You’re such a good girl.” He praised, making your chest warm at the way he softly dragged his fingers up your thighs.

You settled back against the pillows, heart hammering roughly as he slowly took the courtesy of cleaning you up. You giggled softly, legs pulling together before he slid your panties and pants back over your legs. You watched as he leant over you, crowding you into the mattress as he brushed his thumb against your nose.

“I’ll warm you up some soup,” He suggested at last as he pulled his lips into the softest grin, “Then maybe you can repay me later.” He mumbled as he bent over to kiss the corners of your lips. You smiled at the idea, lucky that you had someone like him. 

[judeswhore]

u and bsf!jude always arguing and bantering over the most stupid stuff cus that’s what u do. and some how u got into the topic of sex and u just randomly started arguing about who’s better at sex, and ur just telling him “i can make you cum in less than a minute” and he’s just arguing in back saying “i’ll have you screaming my name in seconds” and ofc it ends up with u two fucking and it’s just fire on fire and both of u end up having the best orgasm of ur life but non of u wanna admit it to one another.

-🚀

this argument wld 100% lead to the best sex ever bc u both wna prove the other wrong no matter how hard it is. so jude’s eating u out and ur refusing to moan bc u don’t wna give him the satisfaction but it has him working even harder bc he will get u to make some sort of noise. stopping him before he can make u cum tho bc he’s not really playing fair when u cant do anything to him and ur shifting to pin him to the mattress bc u want control and that alone has jude half losing his mind bc it’s so hot to him but he’s determined not to let u win. but ur mean and this is one of his favourite positions bc he loves to see ur boobs and loves when u take full control of him and he’s kinda worried he is gna cum in less than a minute. teasing him the way he did u, playing w ur boobs and clit bc u know it’ll drive him insane and it 100% does so it doesn’t take him long to huff out a curse and flip u over, pinning u to the mattress so he can fuck u how he wants all “fine, u win, now let me hear those pretty little moans” bc it’s killing him how quiet ur being

[galaxostars]

001 SIRRY because i love hearing you wax poetic about them ehehehe

• when I started shipping it if I did: good question uhhh I think it was about a year ago?

• my thoughts: GODDDD im so insane about them, i just love how inevitable they feel most of all. like. esp in the context of canon (I don’t think abt them in aus much ngl), sirius going to azkaban when he was so young, coming out older outside but emotionally stunted, yk? still a kid who never really got to grow up, esp if you take into account the trauma of growing up in an abusive household, getting into a war so young…. which yeah, we’re all thinking abt harry rn. the parallels of these two are insane they drive me nuts. then ofc the found family trope hits so hard bc, they both need a family so bad, someone who understands them, but not someone who will treat them like they’re fragile yk? i will never not think about how everyone was treating harry like a kid, and sirius like a freak, in canon. sirius standing up to harry who deserved to have all the info to fight during a war that painted a fucking target on his back but everyone shutting sirius down UGH. I just think no one understands each other as well as sirius and harry. I love them platonically too so so much. but in a romantic context it’s so different and smmm fun bc sirius will do ANYTHING for harry, that’s his baby, like; that’s the kid he swore to protect, that’s his dead best friend/savior’s child, but that’s also his savior—post azkaban, and it’s also a person on their own (which btw, sassy harry fits SO well w sirius lmao), it’s not a replacement for james or lily. sirius will stop at nothing to give harry what he needs…. but also what he wants, and that’s where it gets SO juicy, bc harry wants him but Sirius has to fight his guilt, his fraying morals (which, it’s canon that sirius is a morally grey character so it’s so fun to play w that), and maybe even, the thought that he’s dangerous, bc I hc the blacks as having a very intense, almost violent type of love. and I could see sirius being scared of that, of loving harry too hard, or too wrong. but harry is just. so lost. so starved for love. and he loves sirius sm, sirius is his whole damn world and the only thing that makes sense, that makes him feel safe in this fucked up world that’s always been so cold to him, and he doesn’t enjoy seeing sirius fight himself, carry the guilt on his own, but he so desperately doesn’t want to be alone in this either, and SIRIUS WONT LET HIM feel alone in this bc harry already carries too much on his shoulders and ughfjffkdndkfnskxbm basically they need to fuck but it’s hard to get them there, but once they do, it’s better than an anything else, it’s HEALING.

• What makes me happy about them: I think mostly that they’re each other’s person. like. they just get each other. also just. the sheer joy and relief they have of being in each others presence.

• What makes me sad about them: THE TRAGEDY OF FORBIDDEN LOVE, OF THE WAR, OF THEIR TRAUMA UGHHH also the miscommunication trope sometimes, esp if there’s past prongsfoot that makes harry feel like a replacement for his dad, or their trauma getting in the way

• things done in fanfic that annoys me: I love them, next question

• things I look for in fanfic: mhm the tension +++, the moral debate of it all, and their banter omg I eat it up everyyyy timeeee harry is SUCH a brat but sirius is also a comedic king AND a hot one at that and he’s so good at shutting harry up even tho it truly is harry who has sirius wrapped around his finger. i also love when the power imbalance / the age gap is explored bc… like it feels like the elephant in the room otherwise lmao. and it can be so fun esp during sex!

• Who I'd be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I can ship both of them with literally almost anyoneeeee, like I love these two characters so so much that. I love all ships w them? I think I just tend to gravitate wayyy less towards sirius/hermione bc I just… really don’t see it and in my head, even sirius is kinda scrunching up his nose at the thought xD but honestly, that’s literally just me!! cheering sirmione shippers on!! have fun!!!!

• My happily ever after for them: a canon divergent AU in which sirius DOESNT die and harry DOES end up living with him thank you very much, and MOLLY LEAVES SIRIUS TF ALONE (needed to get that off my chest lmfao)

• who is the big spoon/little spoon: I see them switching tbh

• what is their favorite non-sexual activity: taking the piss out of each other 💀 maybe quidditch thooo or going on sirius’ bike; I feel like they’d have lots of fun riding, the two of them *exaggerated wink*

[chejuu]

20 questions for writers

thank you @wingdingery for the tag and excuse to self-indulgently talk about myself <3

1. how many works do you have on AO3? 17 on cheju, then 11 more on my various and sundry accounts 🫣

2. what's your total AO3 word count? 73,122 on cheju, a total of 110,145

3. what fandoms do you write for? nightwing + some original work as of late + various fandoms i used to be in that people request in fic exchanges

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos? like two days ago bad desire just surpassed the kudos of a ten-year-old sansa/margaery fic i published on my old account. wow! please ignore that i was writing smut at 16

setting aside my other accounts, then it’s diesis (smut), listen to teeth (smut), sex, lies, and audiotape (mafia au. also smut), and exactly what it looks like (silly identity porn crack)

5. do you respond to comments? always!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? down together leaves it open but probably fits the bill, in that the sex makes things significantly worse between slade and dick

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Rescued Slut Thanks His Studly Savior is established relationship sladick fluff (if pure smut can be fluff i guess) which i thought i would never write so maybe that. or better now, but it's about theater camp (2023) which is already a feel-good comedy movie to begin with

8. do you get hate on fics? not yet. i feel like it's a rite of passage, tho. quick someone send me hate

9. do you write smut? If so, what kind? it’s like... all i do

10. do you write crossovers? no, but never saying never!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? nope

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? i think i’d be too embarrassed

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? gotta be drarry (sorry sladick)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will? i plan to finish all my wips eventually, even the unpublished ones! at least any that have made it out of the notes app and into a word doc. the only one that maaay not make it is a recursive fic (author permission granted!) based on a popular sladick story—i’m a bit nervous about not living up to the original 🙈

16. What are your writing strengths? character voice, i think, and banter in particular. sexual tension, smut. so i've been told!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i hardly write anything longer than a single scene, let alone more than one chapter. the one time i've given it an earnest go, i've gotten so caught up in the weeds that i haven't updated in months T_T

i'd also like to get better at atmosphere. not so much descriptions of the setting, more like... creating a distinctive tone through detail, metaphor, word choice. sometimes i feel like unless i'm writing a very particular setting, the tone is just. nonexistent?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i honestly have zero thoughts

19. First fandom you wrote for? harry potter when was 14. wow it even has an A/N and everything

20. Favourite fic you've written? i think it’s bad desire so i’m glad the people agree hahah 

-

tagging @lordwisteria @roipecheur @mattdillon @thesubtextis @ontheropesss !

[littledollll]

Can I please request a Lucifer X fallen angel reader?

R knew Luci in the silver city and they were both rivals (and flirted whilst doing so). They were constantly trying to prove they were the best until the day luci fell and r at the time thought this was their greatest victory and proved they were the best once and for all.

However it's been thousands of years and r has been bored out of their mind and honestly missed luci (but they'd never admit it) as nobody has annoyed or challenged them (or turned them on) as much as luci.

This leads to r acting out and eventually falling hoping they'd finally get to luci again and when they meet they start their flirty rivalry once again as r tries to ascend the ranks of hell to prove they'd be a better ruler.

They get to the top and luci requests r to join them in ruling hell which leads to r and luci having sex finally (they are both so pent up). R and luci are still fighting for dominance during it because these bitches cant just show the other their love.

Fallen stars

Rivals AND lovers; Lucifer Morningstar x fallenangel!reader

A/n: THIS TOOK ME SO LONG FOR WHAT! I’m so sorry. I like this tho, Idk if I love it but I sure hope you do! This request was absolutely delicious by the way.

Warnings: just sex ;-; ironically pretty vanilla for Lucifer, resolved sexual tension, happy ending, banter, teasing, Lucifer has a dick (I’m sorry)

✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦

There wasn’t a day you two didn’t spend in competition sure you could call it “healthy competition” but it was honestly obsessive. Nobody around you really knew how you felt about eachother, save for you٫ obviously .

You certainly acted like you hated eachother, constantly challenging one another and making a scene whenever one or the other won.

Of course were both extremely responsible and serious about your duties but when it came to you two being alone or having off time it was a constant battle of who could get on top.

You had undeniable chemistry. You could work together better than anyone else despite your constant bickering. You pushed eachother, every time you got too close to surpassing them they got further away only making you work harder.

See nobody could rival Gods favorite angel until you came along. They found it amusing how you made your way to the top and basically lived just to challenge them.

Then the fall happened. At first you were overjoyed. You won, finally you’re the one left standing, years of constant challenging and you came out on top.

After the first thousand years that joy turned into despair, it had you throughly confused. This is what you’ve been after your whole life, behind Samael- well Lucifer, at every step, and now they’re gone. You win.

So why aren’t you jumping with joy? You settled for convincing yourself you just needed competition, that made sense, you needed the motivation, that constant strive to be better and have somebody who challenges you.

You couldn’t possibly miss them. Their annoying smirk whenever things went their way, how their mood seemed to change from stonic to excited when you came around for another challenge. Alright maybe you did miss them. Just a little.

★★★★★★★★★

Never in a million years did you think your infatuation with them would lead to now.

“I knew it was only a matter of when we would meet again. You just had to chase after me, didn’t you?” Lucifer circled you like prey.

Your fall, your immediate rise in ranks since the moment you arrived in hell, it all made Lucifer delighted. Though Lucifer didn’t acknowledge your presence, not outwardly and certainly not with your knowledge. They silently lurked, watching your every move, every challenge.

They deemed you worthy to enter their kingdom, their castle. What a privilege, you thought. “Glad to see I succeeded in catching your attention.”

“Oh you’ve done plenty more than that, you’ve impressed me, you’ve proven yourself time and time again. Join me, dearest. I believe you and I could be truly unstoppable, side by side.”

You could cut the tension between you with a knife as you stepped closer to them, you looked up at them with a smirk on your face. “Are you stating a fact, or are you asking me?”

“You are unbelievably stubborn, you know quite well what I’m asking.” They rolled their eyes with a scoff. “And you are unbelievably prideful. Ask me, Lucifer.”

They didn’t, instead you were met with a kiss, one you quickly reciprocated. It was messy, a fight for dominance neither of you would willingly give in to.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★

One second you were standing together in the throne room and the next you were pinned against a bed. How did you get here? Were this their chambers? When the hell did you get undressed?

Really, you had no time to process it, Lucifer was all over you, hands running down the length of your body, kisses being littered anywhere they could reach, you could feel your skin bruising, the neediness that practically radiated off of them.

You moaned as they sucked on your pulse point, your hands ran down their back, nails marking them red, making a shiver run down their spine and you heard them groan right against your ear.

“Needy aren’t you? How long have you been waiting for this Lucifer? How long have you wanted me?” You could’ve sworn you heard them whine at your words.

One of their hands made its way between your thighs, pushing them apart so Lucifer could settle between them, you immediately spread your legs for them.

“You’re just as desperate as me, my sweet.” Lucifer pressed onto you so conveniently against your cunt with just the right amount of pressure. Now it was your turn to whine as you tried to roll your hips but were held down by their hands on your waist. “Ask me, pet.”

Asshole. Using your words against you.

Lucifer basked in your frustrated whimpers, as they refused you any pleasure until you asked. Of course you’d be too stubborn, just like them. There’s the reason you two go head to head constantly. Both too competitive to give in, this applied to everything you did, even now.

“I’m not going to beg you to touch me. Specially when you want to so badly. So come on, give in.” They did, albeit hesitantly.

Desire and need won over stubbornness. That doesn’t mean either of you would easily give up dominance. Leading you to pull them into the bed as you climbed on top.

You wasted no time. Mouth parted with a satisfied moan as you lowered yourself onto them. You leaned forward, hands supporting you on their shoulders as you grinding against them, getting used to the feeling and slowly picking up your pace.

Their hold on your waist resumed, but this time to assist you. You hissed when one of their hands trailed your neck teasingly before wrapping around it. Hips bucking to meet your own as their new hold on you made it easier for them to slam into you.

You cried out when their thumb pressed against your aching and neglected clit, thighs shaking and cunt clenching around them. With the added stimulation it was impossible to hold back yet you continued grinding your hips through your orgasm.

Lucifer had never been so lost for words. Reduced to broken moans and needy whimpers you never thought you’d have the pleasure of hearing. You rode them with vigor even as your body begged for a break. The grip they had on your hips was certain to leave you sore and bruised.

Ever the prideful being, Lucifer covered their unfiltered moans by pulling you down for a heated kiss. Their hips stuttered as they came with a groan.

There was silence, only interrupted by pants and the shuffling of the bedsheets as you dropped to lay on their side. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, more like processing. Eons of pinning after eachother, of challenging yet supporting one another. Eons of unresolved tension between the two of you seemingly lifted. And then they spoke.

“Join me, Im asking you to join 𝙢𝙚." You knew that. This wasn’t about the forces of hell or the power you’d have as rulers, it was about you and them. Who were you to deny when they finally put their pride aside enough to ask?

“Where else would I go if not with you?”

“Join me, Im asking you to join 𝙢𝙚." You knew that. This wasn’t about the forces of hell or the power you’d have as rulers, it was about you and them. Who were you to say no when they finally put their pride aside enough to ask?

“Where else would I go if not with you?”

[gothicbarbie]

BL's I'm Watching in December

(From favorite to least)

The Sign - God, I love this series. It has everything for me. BillyBabe have amazing chemistry and I love how their pairing is written. Hate to love is my favorite trope and they do it so well cuz it’s also laced with banter, flirtation and tension. You can see them genuinely falling for each other. And on top of that, we have a really interesting storyline with lots of questions and mystery. The production value of the series is super impressive too.

City Boy Log - Technically this isn’t a BL, but to me it counts. It’s scripted and centers around two BL pairings. I binged the whole thing in a day and loved it. The chemistry between the main duo is just so good and I love how bold the actors are. I also really like the simplicity of how it's filmed, it feels super natural. It’s a very fun watch and I would love to see them get an official series.

Playboyy the Series - Yes, this show has hot scenes (tho I find some more awkward than they are probably intended to be) but I like the series because of the overall storyline. There are a hell of a lot of characters and it can be a bit confusing but I think I am following it lol. I like quite a few of the pairings and plots that are happening and I def. want to know where the show is going to go. There are some great sex positive messages and discussion about consent that are really nice to see too.

Pit Babe - Really enjoying this series. It started very strong and while I find some storylines to be a bit draggy, it’s really fun to get an omega verse BL. I think they could do a bit more with it, but they seem to be slowly moving in that direction. Again, this series has an overall storyline arc that is mysterious and I’m curious to know where it’s headed. I also love the chemistry between Pavel and Pooh.

Last Twilight - I’m not as in love with this series as others seem to be but I still really enjoy it. It’s nice to see a series that sort of starts more with friendship that blossoms into something deeper and I find the plot of one character being the caretaker for the other to be very sweet and also unique. The scenes where JimmySea just touch hands are so powerful so I am loving their slow progression.

Breeze of Love - Binged this whole series in a night, and it was a great. Very fun watch. Weak kissing scene but sort of expected and it didn’t take away from the series much for me because I did like the chemistry of the main pair. I think some things could have been better but I liked it.

Twins the Series - This series can be dumb at times, and some storylines are a bit blasé but overall I am having a lot of fun watching it. I really like the chemistry between the main duo.

Destiny Seeker - This one ended a bit ago but I finally got a chance to watch the series and I loved it. Mostly for the main pairing who were so fun to watch. Have I mentioned I love hate to love pairings?

The Egoist (movie) - Not a series but a movie that I also finally got around to watching. I was loving it, at first. It was fantastic. The chemistry was great and the storyline hit hard. Hated the ending though, so a bit of a warning for anyone that is curious, if you don’t like unhappy endings, don’t watch lol.

My Story - Filo BL’s can be a bit cheesy at times and this one was no exception. I do think it started a bit better than it ended and I had to fastfoward quite a bit of the show, but I did like the chemistry between the pairings and enjoyed watching it.

Cooking Crush - Was unsure of this series at first, and I am not a big fan of cooking type shows, but I think this one is got a lot better starting with ep 2. I have always liked OffGun too and I am enjoying the cutesy moments and stuff at least. So we'll give it a chance to grow.

Unforgotten Night - An older series I am finally getting around to watching. Loved the first ep, then the next few were kind of bland. I didn’t hear great things about it, so we’ll see how it fits in at my end of year ranking (prob. will make the 2024 list tho since I am watching SLOW lol...) but I do really love the premise of the series. More friends with benefits type bl’s please!

The Day I Loved You - Another filo BL that I watched this month and it was quite enjoyable and cute. I liked the first half much better than the second half, it got a bit sad/depressing for me but I still think it was very well done and reminded me of a bit of heartstopper. Would def recommend people to check it out.

For Him - This one is okay, it doesn’t really have much of a point to me right now? lmao. But I think the sex scenes are well done and it’s holding my interest enough to keep watching.

Cherry Magic Thailand - I want to like this one, but something about it is just off for me. I like TayNew but am not in love with them and I think this version is a lot less cute and quirky like the original was. It just feels a bit awkward to me and I find Tay’s inner voice to be a bit silly? I wish it was more serious and sweet and less cringey lol. I also find New’s character to be a bit pathetic considering he is a 30 year old man… I understand it was following the OG SL, but again, I feel like that series just did everythin better lol…. But, I’ll give it a chance.

You Are Mine - This one was alright, I enjoyed parts of it, other parts I found kind of slow. It's def. not going to be an all-time favorite for me, but it was worth watching.

My Dear Gangster Oppa - Love Meen. Love the main duo’s chemistry, they feel natural together. Loved the first episode… but then, I just kinda stopped caring. The whole gangster/mob stuff just didn’t interest me and I found the overall plot of the main pairing to be a bit rushed. Wish they had built that up a tad more. But it was alright.

Brothers the Series - Another past BL that I’ve only seen a few eps of so far, so it’s hard to judge, but it’s okay so far. I do like the chemistry between the main pair and am curious to know where they are going to take things. But I am going very slow with this one.

Sahara Sensei to Toki-Kun - Only seen a few eps of this one and so far I’m, not really that into it. It’s okay and has some cute moments, but I don’t really like the chemistry between the main duo all that much, and I find it quite creepy he has a crush on a teacher tbh… But, we’ll see where it goes. Not one of Japan’s best imo.

VIP Only - This series is okay but I find it kind of boring. I like the main pairing okay, but I’m also not feeling the storyline that much, it’s just a bit bland to me.

7 Days Before Valentine - Sort of interesting premise and I like the chemistry between the angel dude and the main guy (if it’s even going to go there?) but there are some dumb/weird scenes and moments and the storyline is frustrating too. We’ll see what happens.

I Will Knock You - Older series I am finally attempting to skim through but it’s very meh. The chemistry is just okay. The plot is pretty boring. The main guy is a bit of an ass and hard to like right now but I also kinda like the banter? Maybe? IDK.

Middleman’s Love - Wanted to like this series because I like the characters and the chemistry but it’s just been dragging and dragging since ep 1. I didn't expect it to take this long for something to happen between the main two and the main character can be really annoying and frustrating and a bit TOO dramatic. They use him to be funny but he just comes off obnoxious? Bit of a bust for me. The series just doesn’t have a purpose...

Bake Me Please - Don’t like this series at all really. I don’t think the main couple has any chemistry. Ohm’s character is frankly annoying! And their relationship went from 0 to 60 in like 1 scene. I would just stop watching alll together, but it’s got so few episodes that I might as well just finish it.

Tie the Knot - This one is at the bottom cuz I barely remember what it was about but I just remember I skimmed the majority of it lol.

[1-800-suck-my-clit]

Testing my multifandomness, so here's a list of ships I support/enjoy and why

Most (damn near all) are ganna be MlM

Clegan (bucky x buck)

John is so love sick for gale you just have to ship them

Hannigraham (Hannibal x Will Graham)

They act like a married couple with Gothic scenes and inuendos

Bat jokes (Batman x Joker)

Idk man something abt villian and hero falling in love despite being the farthest of opposites. And I love their banter where Joker shamelessly flirts with him

Superbat (Batman x Superman / Bruce Wayne x Clark Kent)

Now ik what ur thinking "bat jokes AND superbat how scandalous😱" this one only really applies to their "citizen" forms. I love the rich sugar daddy and kind southern accent trope. Also them in their hero forms are also cute bc batman let's his guard down for him

Zosan (zoro x sanji)

Your honor they're married🙄

Hisoillu

They give off Doberman and black cat energy. And canonically they are married ‼️

Rathelstan (ragnar x athelstan)

The love I have for them hold no words so here are some quotes that made me wanna rip my heart out.

"What do you mean?! You cannot leave...you cannot leave me! I love you...and you're the only I can trust so you must stay"

"I always believed that death is a fate far better than life, for you will be reunited with lost loved ones. But we will never meet again, my friend. I have a feeling that your God might object to me visiting you in Heaven. What am I to do now?"

"I hate you for leaving me. I ache from your loss. There is nothing that can console me now. I am changed, so are you.”

Symbrock (Venom x Eddie)

HEAR ME OUT PLEASE...So um anyways

Spideypool (spiderman x deadpool)

Their banter in the comics is so cute

Soapghost(konig) (Soap x Ghost (x Konig) / Simon Riley x John McTavish (x Konig))

Got really into them when CoD started blowing up on my FYP last year

Patrochillies (Patrocles x Achilles)

Ganna cry I love them sm. "He is half of my soul as the poets say" 🤣🔪🩸

Eremika (Eren x Mikasa)

If u don't belive they are end game ur wrong abt everything🥱. Tho I belive in eremika being cannon I also ship EreJean (Eren x Jean) who's to say a Lil hate sex never hurt anyone 🤭

Jayvik (jayce x viktor)

Idk who I wanna be jayces girlfriend, his boyfriend, or him😩

BoKuro (Bokuto x Kuroo)

Himbos in love? Count me in. tho I do also ship them with their main ships aswell

NaruSasu (Naruto x Sasuke)

No one chases a man around for damn near a decade bc "We're best friends🥺" 😒

Last but not least

KiriBaku (kirishima x Bakugou)

I don't give one damn what ANYONE says they are literally end game. FUCK BAKUDEKU‼️‼️🗣 I need the firecracker and his leash‼️

Um thank u for listening to my Ted talk lol 🏃🏾‍♀️💨

[eideticmemory]

blurb about kinky spencer what do you feel about that like early seasons to late seasons what his into it ☝🏻💥

ik everyone has their ideas about spencer reid’s sexuality between ages ~18-24 and cm rly never says much about it BUT i’ve always imagined that during college/grad school and the early seasons spencer was actually very sexually confident. i don’t mean that as in he could see someone across the room and cruise them and take them home but i think he knew what he liked. he is beautiful, that’s obvious so i imagine that when he got onto a college campus and started getting validation from all these pretty girls and pretty guys that he was like “wait…..i actually kinda have sex appeal?” and that was good bc even tho he was super insecure and younger than his classmates he was still as horny as everyone else!!! im a bi spencer truther and i think his first sexual experience was with a man and i think he felt anxious about sex with women for a while. his first time she probably had to throw herself at him but his brain was just like ???? ok??? i think shes having a good time?? but?? she cant get a boner so i cant quite tell?? this is getting long i’m sorry 😭

but i think anatomy helped him a lot. it was something he could contextualize and i can see him looking up vagina diagrams or even watching porn to figure out What To Do. and as he becomes more sexually active he becomes very good at reading body language. fucking someone and thinking “ok their legs are shaking, thats good, thats a good sign. oh they’re breathing’s faster, better keep this up” but what he liked the most was just being spoken to. he liked verbal validation during sex very much, someone who would grab his hands and put them where they wanted bc he could figure out the rest from there. once he gets out of his head a little bit is when he starts becoming vocal himself. i imagine he got a lot of questions during sex like “ru ok? ru enjoying it?” bc he would just lay there and whimper quietly bc he was overthinking everything. then one time its so good that he forgets to think and he’s moaning like a whore and it finally clicks for him “oh wow it feels even better to just let it out. oh wow they like it when i let it out” i think his kink was just pleasing someone, being good and feeling good, being able to tell himself that he did good.

in the early seasons i think he enjoyed sex and the idea of being that close to someone. i think he was touch starved and craved intimacy and he seeks it less as the show goes on. his experiences at the bau (especially the anthrax case) encouraged his germaphobia and yeah he would still get horny but he struggled to find anyone whose touch didn’t gross him out. i think that was a struggle for him for a long time. then especially after maeve he was constantly chasing the touch of a woman he had never even seen or gotten to hug. it was weird to think about while grieving her but his mind and heart craved her so much through their relationship so his body did too. he thought one day he would let someone touch him. someone he loved! and then she died in front of him so that was shot to shit. he grieved sex he would never have. i would describe his kink here as “someone i love so much i’d die for it. they could have anthrax on their tongue and i’d kiss them just because its them.”

in the later seasons after cat adams and the prison arc, i think he loses a lot of his inhibitions. basically a revelation of “i don’t have the energy to ponder on what i like and who i like” bc he feels it instantly. the moment he makes eye contact with someone, he can feel it in his tummy that he would have sex with them if they wanted. and when he feels it he flirts with humor. there’s nothing he loves more than when he banters with someone cute, making them laugh and catching a sparkle in their eye. like if they can understand each other’s minds then surely they might understand each other’s bodies. in bed he’s superrr vocal but not necessarily dirty more like “do u wanna be on top? yes i want that to” “can i take your shirt off? thank you” and putting a titty in his mouth. “can i bend your legs back a little more? i just wanna get a little deeper. tell me if its uncomfortable though” a lot of “yeah yeah yeah” when he’s drowning in it and then looking down and saying “yeah? yeah? yeah?” bc at the end of the day he stills needs to know he’s doing good

[stepswowdsen]

【Magi】 JuAli Comic Idea (NSFW) 🖤❤️💛

(CW: NSFW)

(EDIT: I used to have this blog on priv, but I went off priv recently)

JuAli NSFW I wrote before 🖤 ❤️ 💛 This one's a lot longer than my usual ideas. The 1st half is SFW, but the 2nd half is NSFW. One of the dialogue scripts I wrote.

Oh yeah here's the JuAli NSFW comic idea I wrote if anyone wants to read it. I wrote this back in 2023, but I recently added to it, so I'll post it here

Warning: The 1st part is SFW, but the rest is NSFW so I'll put the rest under the cut.

There's also a lot of bickering and bantering, typical of JuAli. I always have a fun time writing for them <3 Wheeee!

It's still a WIP though so I put line breaks to mark transitions to different scenes (or as reminders for myself for which scenes I need to add to)

Ok guys if I'm basically planning to post KuroEne sex at some point, then that means it's free real estate for me to post LimGuda, XanLena, IdaTatsu, and JuAli sex, right

I'll put the warning whenever I do it, though. Fair warning tho. This one's more explicit. 95% of my ideas are my ships are SFW actually, but it is fun to write NSFW on the side and explore ship intimacy ^^

As you can tell, after the several months hiatus due to me being busy with school, I'm trying to get better at posting here!!! My timezone is currently EDT in Canada's summers, I tend to schedule posts to post around 7 ~ 9 PM (EDT)

It's a lil annoying how limited priv Tumblr blogs are... Even Insta and Twt priv accs let you like posts and don't require a PW to unlock. But it's a good archive for me.

Rambles

I'll be honest, my NSFW ideas are so vanilla and tame, and heavy on dialogue. That's how I want it to be. I hate the majority of qorn and qorn tropes cuz a lot of mainstream qorn is so (trans) misogynistic and thoughtless and violent. It lacks intimacy.

If I were to draw this out, there'd be a huge focus on expressions and dialogue... Oh and it'd be clothed intimacy/sex cuz I prefer it that way

As an ace person, I want my NSFW and qorn to be more artistic and focus on intimacy, including emotional intimacy. Like, qorn is fine too, but it needs to be. Not for the purpose of feeding an incel, obviously.

In general, I'm soooo picky with NSFW

It's fine if my faves explore kink and power dynamics/control in the bedroom, but I want it to be imbued with my tastes. And my aesthetic tastes.

I'm bi sapphic and not really sexually attracted to men, so I see all my masc faves (including meow meow mf faves) as my sons.

In general, I think clothed intimacy and subtle eroticism (ie. hands slipping into clothes) is hottest and I prefer it honestly. If I were to draw NSFW (hopefully one day, I need to get better at it tho), this is what you'd mainly see from me.

Even if it'd be highly impractical IRL, I love how intimacy looks with the flow of clothes more. Though ofc there's a lot of great artistic nudity too <3

Oh and the part where he's lying on the bed after... I imagined it like, Judar takes off his outer most clothes (the black and red Ruqun and Daxiushan) and wears the white hanfu undergarments underneath

You can read more about it here!

Ziseviolet is a great queer friendly hanfu blog and resource for hanfu refs and informative posts~

Rambles with Friends

Y: I love how you write them omg 😭 The way this encapsulates Judar's spoiled bratty personality WRJFHWUTWFNSJ

Me: I love writing for them and their playful banter and smug teasing~

I like the idea of Judar visiting Alibaba at night in his room. I love the idea of them having secret trysts/dates meeting at night (under the full moon). The moon is also Judar's symbol

(Well, Judar has black sun and moon symbolism, and I loved how Jaqui mentioned before that she sees him with eclipse symbolism)

Me: It's a WIP but I wrote JuAli NSFW

M: Based 🔥🔥

Me: Mostly just added Judar and Alibaba going around together! And then Judar being a moody fussy cat

C: Nice also very valid. Judar moody cat...

Me: LMAO yeah. The moody cat Judar acts according to his whims. He's definitely the type to act bratty and demanding to his S/O. Judar goes all like "Play with me, Alibaba!!!"

J: This is so valid dhdhdhd

J: DHDHDHDHDH They're so funny, I love their dialogues so much. Your JuAli AU is so interesting

Me: Thank you Jaqui!!! That makes me happy to hear 🥰 💗

In this particular idea, I think they've warmed up to each other more. They're more comfortable with each other and are aware of the others' respective quirks. But I still think they probably have some relationship awkwardness typical of young adults, at times? I always have a fun time writing their banters and dialogue!

I think it's cute and funny to see their "Hate-Love" dynamic because Judar is violently tsun, and tsun tsun possessive... I think that in their early relationship, they'd constantly headbutt each other all the time. They'll always be pretty competitive with each other, but I think Judar would warm up to Alibaba over time - so there'd be less mean insults and they'd eventually turn into playful ones

Me: Judar who goes from “I don't even want to be near you!!!” at first, to cuddling up to him like an annoying cat (/endearing), preventing Alibaba from moving or getting up. Like when you want to get something to eat or drink but your cat lays on you, stopping you

C: CUTE

Me: I feel like when they get closer Judar would want to sleep with him casually. Eat together. Wrap him into his shenanigans and pester him and bother him. Don't tell him that this is peak domestic behaviour, he will deny it.

C: Cute!! :") He def would lol

Me: I'm thinking about Judar being an asshole cat with teasing hehe. Judar can be playfully mean with his teasing.

C: Judar is genuinely seeking a weird kind of entertainment from being an asshole lmao

Me: LMFAO YEAH. His bratty nature would definitely extend to sex too ASDKSDKKLSDKL

C: IT ABSOLUTELY WOULD

Me: Provoking his S/O, being competitive in the bedroom… Stuff like that. I like the subtext of tsun tsun possessiveness too at the end.

Me: I don't have enough edits of Alibaba rn so I mainly just took Judar's manga screencaps

Oh and I still need to add to some parts eventually but y'know I got most of it down for now!!!

[spookyserenades]

Ok so my thoughts of chapter 14… 

Jin: Yo I know y/n be jelly but I’m glad y/n was able to put her jealously aside bc if I was in Jins place I’d be worried and SO HAPPY that my bf is alive. That being said feelings are feelings and they’re hard to control. OMG WHEN Y/N SHOWED PICTURES OF ALL THE BOYS AND HANNA SAID HES HANDSOME AND SHES LIKE YEAH ALL MY BOYS ARE HANDSOME LIKE OMG. And the way Jin looked at her after she said that omg Y/n ur giving urself away! But also like who wouldn’t want to gush over them!?? And then later when he scents her OMG THAT SCENE WAS WILD JIN WAS SO BOLD. And he was like I wanna get Hannah’s scent off u bc I already gotta share you OMG Y/N U DO NOT HAVE TO WORRY GIRLIE POP. I understand why Hannah said to be carful with Jins heart bc he’s been hurt so many times and I wonder how he took with finding out y/n and yoongi have been sneaking around 🥺.  

Yoongi- This man is such a menace to society LITERALLY I CANNOT- the teasing looks and flirty glances! Oh and you KNOW HE LOOOVES shoving it in all their faces that he’s with her. Poor Tae tho, yoongi she loves ALL of them u know this! I guess maybe he just doesn’t wanna let go of this small moment of her being JUST his and he is quiet a possessive boi but they all are and I can’t wait to see all their moments of jealousy! Yo that sec scene was WILD holy moly! We got to see yoongi a pov a bit during the sex scene and hearing more of how much he loves her is so sweet 🥹 I’m glad they finally had that moment and he taking care of her and then cuddling eeeek. OMG NOT THEM KISSING IN THE KITCHEN AND GETTING CAUGHT- he stood by her side and supported her and I’m sure it was super overwhelming for y/n so I’m proud she was able to speak part of the truth, she she loves yoongi (but didn’t say she loves all of them bc that would be awkward not the right timing). AHHH THE DOMESTIC BLISS IM GLAD THEIR TOGETHER AND HAPPY NOW! 

Joon- He doesn’t wanna see or make her angry again which is why he’s very cool and calm abt her decision. He’s matured a lot and deep down it does really bother him, but he doesn’t wanna ruin things for her which is why he tried to act chill. OMG NOT HIM SUSING YOONGI AND Y/N OUT LIKE HE KNEW FOR WEEEKS OMG- AND THEY MADE BETS HOLY SHIT- I love joon and jk omg their banter is so much fun lol. OMG THE CHOCKER HER GAVE HER FOR CHRISTMAS WAS SO CUTE I MELTED INTO MY FLOOR BOARDS!! I feel like that was his way of showing his feelings for her tho- like Jimin said. Joon never hated her just his situation and werewolves mate for life so like… COULD IT BE TO MARK HIS TERRITORY IN A WAY. Maybe he just doesn’t understand his feelings yet bc he was isolated in his trailer just trying to survive for who knows how long. 

Hobi- his concern for y/n and yoongi’s relationship before and now finding out what’s been going on :0 He wasn’t expecting it AT ALL and I feel bad :,( he was shocked and yet he was able to roll it off afterwards for the most part bc I feel like that’s a defense mechanism for him since he’s been in uncomfortable situations. In all honestly I would love to get more in hobi’s Pov because I find him to be more mysterious than jk. Jk tries not to be obvious but is, he just likes to hide his emotions and I think a part of him does not really care atm bc she hasn’t grown on him in that way yet. With hobi tho her and him have similar personalities and bc they mesh so well I feel like finding out abt her and yoongi was like an ice bucket thrown over him. I dunno how what to say to his reaction ig hmm 🤔 he always bounces back and I can’t wait for the moment when we learn more about his past maybe specific points that made him who he is? I would love to know more about their pasts! When I ask this I don’t wanna pressure you (lol that sounds like such a lie but I do mean it 🥺), but when do u think the prologues for each member will come out? Do you think it would be better to wait until trouvallie has further progressed to not give too much away? 

Like everyone else who follows your blog, I look forward to EVERY 7th of the month bc of u! I love ur blog so much and ur writing is just 🤌🏼 💋

P.s (I Will talk abt maknae line when I have the time gotta go to class soon yeee) 

😚😘🫶🫰

Hiii bestie!!! So excited to hear all of your thoughts hehehe 😜

Jinnie: AH I'm such a jealous gal and I'm proud of Y/N being able to rein in her envy during the lunch with Seokjin, Hannah, and Sarah. She cares so much about Seokjin, I think the idea of cutting his communication with Hannah off outweighs her jealousy. AH Hannah thinking Joon is cute from the pictures like yeah girl 💀 OOF the scenting scene was steamy, he was showing his ass a little bit. Seokjin is definitely into Y/N, and I think when he was trying to get Hannah's scent off of her, it was a subtle clue that he's fallen in love with her, rather than holding onto old feelings for Hannah. heehe!! I have more to say about Jin's past and his patterns of heartbreak, but thats for future chapters (and his eventual prequel!) He seems pretty disappointed about the news of Y/N and Yoongi. I wonder how he'll end up with Y/N, himself (said evilly) 👹

Yoongiiii: MENACE is correct!! He's milking the ability to kiss her in front of them and enjoying their jealousy or weirdness about it for sure. Additionally, I think you're right-- he's probably soaking in the amount of time he has her just to himself. Yoongi is def one of the more possessive of the bunch so far, but a few of the others will have that streak in the future, too. 😉 EEEE the wild ass sex they had... I've been waitingggg to write some steamy scenes for a YEAR jdkalfdj so I got a little overexcited ah. I liked writing a bit of Yoongi's POV, too, and I think I'm going to do much much more of that in the rest of the chapters. Getting insight through their eyes now that we're further along in the story I think makes sense! The aftercare scene was important for me, too. I love when Yoongi gets all tender and mushy for her 🥺 Them getting caught.... at least it finally forced Y/N to be honest about her relationship status with Yoongi. He's very supportive of her and I think it was him standing beside her during that situation helped her to be brave. AH I love them so much they're really so in love 😭

Joonie: I agree with you, Joon has done a lot of maturing in the months he has spent living with Y/N. She's become someone important to him, and he saw how much he hurt her when he fought with Tae... I don't think he wants to provoke those feelings from her ever again. I've said in a previous ask that Joon isn't so much concerned with romance at the moment, and is more interested in pursuing his interests (paranormal, occult, cryptids, UFOs...) But we'll see how he falls in love slowly, over time, and I think it will be delicious 😋 Joon's perceptivity is KEEN dude! Not much gets by him, and he's super territorial and protective, so he keeps close watch over Y/N (who is oblivious to that). Joon and JK's interactions are some of my favorites to write!! As for the choker, that was self-indulgent of me.... my dream gift from Namjoon. I also agree with your thought that it is a sort of "mark of territory" or some kind of mark of approval of her. AH! Jimin WAS right, Joon never hated her, he just has high expectations and struggles with regulating his emotions. I love him.

Hoseok: Foxy is giving best friend to Y/N. He knew that her and Yoongi were on the outs, and doesn't like seen Y/N upset. He's the resident clever fox, so I think the shock that he wasn't able to figure out her and Yoongi's secret relationship was a tad overwhelming. He's kind of like Joon, not overly concerned with romance at the moment, and more interested in letting loose and having the freedom to do what he pleases for the first time. He's always the one to break awkward tension, and he and Y/N have an easygoing friendship with their similar personalities. He does seem mysterious, as he isn't quick to give out personal information or details of his past, but there is a lot beneath the surface for Hoseok that is yet to be revealed. I can't wait to tell you all more about our Foxy 🦊

AH the prologues! I had planned on having at least one of them out by now, but that's not how the cookie crumbled LOL. I plan on having them being like BEHEMOTHS like 50k each, and at the moment, all of my time is devoted to the main story chapters... I think I'll end up releasing them later than I thought, and I'd probably do it like one month is a main story chapter, the next is a prologue and the main story is put on pause. I agree, I think that releasing certain prologues would give a lot away (such as Hoseok's and Seokjin's) so I think they'll be a little ways off.... BUT I'm excited to write them bestie!

AHHH I love uuuu sm and thank you for always reading and reviewing the updates, it means so much to me 😭💕🥺 I hope your classes are going well and you're getting some good downtime as well ✨

[mithliya]

ive been to schools in both america and in alsa'uudia and i noticed how the arab girls were so much nicer than the american girls. i had one friend in America. just one. and when i went to alsa'uudia, i felt like i was friends with the entire class. everyone was so sweet to me and to each other. the worst thing theyd say to each other is some harsh banters and thats it.

i wouldve assumed this was a cultural thing, if not for:

how i also noticed that for the boys section, they are absolutely terrible. my dad told me how there were constant fights and assault that happened all the time in his school, and my brother had so many migraines triggered from his loud classmates, and i was told that a group of boys had attempted murder on one of my cousins, and how i heard from my teachers that in the boys section, boys would often take pictures of each other, post those pictures online and would either insult the subject of the pic or make up horrible lies about him, or how one of my friends told me how when her brother was angry and driving, he would "act like he wanted to crash the car and id be so scared"

girls are literally better than filthy little males and thrive when not influenced by them lmfao. girl supremacy!!!!

love how u keep saying alsa'uudia hfdhfdsh but i can second the fact that high school students in america suck ass :( but i feel like a big part of it was that US schools have like way more people than schools in bahrain did at least so it was easy to befriend the entire class esp bc we generally were in almost every class together whereas in america, a lot of people i only shared 1 class with and id barely see around and also ppl were weirdly racially segregated?? like not by law or sth i just mean theyd naturally racially segregate which was unusual for me. cant comment on how it is in boys schools, ive unfortunately only been in mixed-sex schools and can attest to boys being terrible at school & sometimes violent tho (one time a guy threatened to rape me & then beat up a male friend that i was talking to bc.. i called him gay???????? i was 12)

[spicysix]

Trope rating game

thanks for the tag @devondespresso

rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic? -10 -> very dissuaded  0 -> don’t care either way  +10 -> very enticed  nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

putting it under the cut cause it's a bit long. also not tagging anyone but feel free to join if you'd like!!!

Age gap: -10

I don't go with age gaps in human characters. When one of them is a supernatural being, that is already like, expected? but if it's just an AU where one of them is much older than the other, not my kind of thing

Codependency: +8

i like when they're a little fucked up on the head about it :) specially in the ST fandom ngl

Obsession/Possessiveness, jealousy: -5

not my fave, but depends. if it's from an author i know and like i'll give it a chance. sometimes i'm in the mood for it too. but usually not my thing

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): +10

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE me a grumpy/sunshine trope!!!!

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: +8

yesyesyesyesyes. i prefer if they're not actually enemies, but just two people who don't like each other, or just banter a lot, but actual enemies are also delicious

Friends with benefits: +10

loooooove love love. when one of them has been secretly pining from the beginning? EVEN BETTER

Sex to feelings: +10

see above!!!

Fake dating/relationship: +10

absolutely iconic

Friends to lovers: +6

i like the added layer of fwb situations to like, add a lil bit more of angst. but i do like the direct friends to lovers pipeline too!

Found Family: +10

WHAT'S THERE NOT TO LIKE?!?!?!

Hurt/Comfort: +10

literally delicious.

Love Triangle: -10

i only like it when they end up all dating

Poly, open relationships: +10

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

Mistaken/hidden identity: 0

not my fave but not an ick too. i don't go outright searching for it, but don't mind it much when i come across it. it can be unnecessarily angsty if the writer keeps it up for too long tho

Monsterfucking: +10

ABSOLUTELY YES

Pregnancy: nope

yeah hell no. if a fic ends with that without it being tagged, it automatically makes the fic very disapointing to me. if it's tagged, i don't read it at all. this basically only applies to reader inserts cause yeah i don't want to imagine myself pregnant. but i don't dig ABOs for some reason too

Second Chance: 0

don't mind it but i don't go looking for it

Slowburn: +5

it can be really really well done but it can also get very tiring if the author stretches it out for too long. when well done, i love it!

Soulmates: +10

LOOOOOOVE it!!!!!!

[shastafirecracker]

4, 6, 17, 20?

oooh well this got long so I'll do a break to save everyone's dashes

4 a sentence or paragraph that you’re proud of oh man, I’m proud of a lot of what I’ve written, especially lately. I feel like a lot of the stuff that hits hardest only hits right within its larger context. I love a sucker punch sentence after a long, slow buildup. I was really happy with the bit with Nick walking into the lake at the end of “don’t stop if I fall”:

It felt so strange, but also like a need as primal as human touch being met for the first time after an eon of starvation. His whole body was a raw burn and the water that rose up around him was a cool compress. His hands, cracked and callused from a lifetime of abuse, drank up the moisture and grew soft. He kept walking.

I mean, how bizarre would it feel to have never been submerged in water? if your only contact with water had ever been via sinks and showers and maybe a tepid, cramped bath?

I’m really proud of a lot of my comedy moments, too. I think my comedic pacing and timing has gotten better over the years and I’ve always loved to write banter. But I think I’ve gotten better at structural comedy via the narrative also, not just funny dialogue, particularly for characters who would not say funny dialogue - like in “I’ve seen all the demons that you got”:

Vash came back into the shop stinking of cigarettes[…] Knives sprayed him with air freshener and retreated to his office while Vash spluttered. […] he told Vash where he was going, and Vash's eyebrows did a little dance. Knives was sorry he didn't still have the can of air freshener.

6 what character do you have the most fun writing? ok there’s recency bias happening here obviously, but I fucking love writing Zazie. they’re so fun. y'all won’t know why I’ve had so much fun with them until November but it’s just refreshing to write a chaos gremlin who doesn’t have baggage, lol.

17 do you think that readers perceive your work differently to you? what do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or motivations? until fairly recently I would have said that readers would be surprised to know that I’m asexual but then I found out that apparently aces who write smut are, like, the backbone of society XD but seriously, my go-to answer for “why does someone who doesn’t want to have sex write about sex” is just why would someone who doesn’t want to go to space write about going to space. why would someone who doesn’t want to commit a murder write a murder. stares directly at the stupidly massive quantity of speculative fiction ever written and then looks into the camera.

other than that uhhhh I have no idea? a few times I have had readers leave reviews like “oh wow, you must have experienced [thing] because you describe it so accurately” and I take that as a huge compliment because it means I’m a very good study of human character and psychology. but no, to those specific commenters in the past, I have not been a member of a cult, grown up on a farm and/or killed chickens to cook, nor had any transcendent group sex. thanks for thinking my life is that exciting tho! <3

20 tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble about (symbolism, character or relationship development, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes) ok there’s a big one in the big bang fic that I can’t talk about yet but I HOPE people see what I did there. and are just like “I see what you did there”

yes I love these!!! generally it’s wordplay or symbolic references that I just don’t know if anyone picked up on because no one said it in any comments… argh I’m struggling to think of a lot right now but in “I’ve seen all the demons that you’ve got” I really hoped that when I used the phrase “dose makes the poison” that people connected that all the way through Knives’ past work refining ricin and him having been dosed with ketamine (which is, like, a legitimate and important medication but the dosage is SO important)… ummmm also in “don’t stop if I fall” there’s just so many. I hope people grokked every usage of the lyric that the title came from - every time the words “don’t stop” were used in that fic it was very deliberate (including the extremely dubious consent sex scene).

one small one in that same fic that I hope someone/anyone caught was this sentence: “He remembered this ground like an old friend, this stained glass landscape.” because Wolfwood remembers the grounds of the orphanage as stained (with his own blood, with the attempts to water the seedlings when he was a kid), and because the ground is glass (sand, silicate) and therefore contains no nutrients, and because of the obvious religious connotation (but which doubles back on the other two as meaning, you know, a bright thing with no substance). I was happy with that sentence.

a bit of a character note that I cling to at all costs is that if I’m writing something post-canon, any version of canon, even my own AUs’ iterations of “canon,” then Vash WILL miss Knives and grieve him constantly. and he’ll feel a lot of guilt about feeling like he shouldn’t grieve Knives, shouldn’t be allowed to feel grief because Knives was so “evil” and Vash “won” and blah blah blah, and that every time someone celebrates the world not ending it is another twist to the knife in his guts. look up pyrrhic victory in the dictionary there’s a mugshot of vash. it just matters to me to always be clear that vash is not actually okay with how it all shook out in the end.

[castle-dominion]

c1x2 nanny mcdead

I remember this song.

Gal in a machine! Cool!

Police lawyer: Mr. Castle, these waivers are serious business. Perhaps you’d feel more comfortable by referring the matter to your attorney. RC: What, are you kidding? He’d never let me sign these. But, fortunately, it's his job is to get me out of trouble, and not to prevent me from getting into it.

Get to the point ryan. (btw I'm so glad to be watching these in reverse order, if I had gone from s3 finale to this episode I would have gotten whiplash.)

I love the banter w rysposito. JE: Now if that’s not a cautionary tale about poking through someone else’s laundry, I don’t know what is. KR: Dude, there is an etiquette involved. If the clothes were dry, Mrs. Rosenberg had every right to put them in a basket. Now, if you’re gonna tell me she folded them, then it gets a little creepy. JE: I'm sorry, someone starts rooting around my underwear without an invitation? I’m taking that as a serious breach of hygiene. KB: I thought you went commando, Esposito. (How does she know this...?) JE, tilting his head: Well, it's a seasonal thing. (& also less hygienic my dude. For someone worried about ppl poking thru ur undies u ought to be concenrned abt the hygiene of not wearing underwear.)

CASTLE Hard to say. When I'm writing a new character, there’s no telling when inspiration might strike.

BECKETT I thought I was your inspiration.

CASTLE Oh you are, Detective, and in so many ways.

BECKETT Yeah, well, then your inspiration might strike you sooner than you think.

(https://scriptline.livejournal.com/17581.html)

lol "just ny"

RC: Three men huddled around a computer. That better not be porn. And if it is, I want in. Is that a thing? Do men watch porn together? Isn't it kind of gay?

It's new york, there is no such thing as neighborship.

[Castle looks at Beckett. ]

CASTLE (CONT'D) We all know girls like that, don't we?

[Beckett rolls her eyes and sees the three, Esposito, even Captain Montgomery drawn in. And all of them looking at her. ]

Was 8b an actual person or was he just pulling a number out of thin air?

Hey. I cook, you clean. You cook, I clean.

AC: You were the crazy homeless woman. RC: And some might say, still are.

They actually wore Stuff when seeing the body this time!

I forgot Lanie was a fan, apparently he writes death well.

LP: But what I thought you might find really interesting is the fact that she had sex within the hours before her death. KB: Sex? RC: I’ll explain how that works later.

I mean he doesn't want to get an std from her too, but then again you're right about "smart guy" or whatever.

RC: ‘Cause no man likes getting dumped. Am I right? Our egos can’t handle it. *starts telling a story & then stops as soon as he sees beckett's face*

you shouldn't lie bro

Castle: seeming so cute & fatherly Castle the next second: manwhore

I miss being fit enough to play on the playground like that. I went on the monkey bars outside church the other day (yes I'm an adult).

lesbian flag lookin scarf

RC: We could always make it strip poker. Mystery to horror XD XD

Boy looks like he's on drugs. Girl tell them that bro! You made it sound like you were having an affair with sara & then u were offended when they made that assumption???

Ryan reading castle's books <3 beckett got him into it huh.

Wow castle just names a famous lesbian couple. Maybe that's why u think commitment is over. only love is queer.

Beckettt & her red scarf, ryan & his tie looking more like normal (tho tbh I might prefer the college-student look)

RYAN Guess who wasn’t where they said they were the day Sara Manning was killed? BECKETT Who? [Beckett reaches for the paper, but Ryan pulls it out of reach] RYAN Come on, you got to guess. [Ryan continues to dodge] BECKETT Ryan. Ryan. I’m not guessing. RYAN You’re a killjoy, you know that?

Probs smart of her to lie in front of her husband abt divorce there.

Alexis looking so cute like that. Why does he watch two at the same time? The stopping & starting of the elevator does not make sense with the timing.

seventy-seven ain't beyond the realm of possibility! Man acting sus af. So true Castle. Love the finger prints on the mirror. So not smooth Castle. K but where did castle get her number?

Castle's outfits today are not matching his style in future seasons, i dislike it but I like the variety.

If he was home all day, why did they hire a nanny? Was he really that busy or sleepy?

RM playing with a baseball <3

They said the next person on the elevator was the old lady changing her clothes! Inconsistency!

I like how they just go in there, 10/10. RC: Whoa! No! Come on! Come on! I already signed my life away. What more do you want? RC: Hope to die. WAIT NO Why she gotta take off her scarf like that

I love hearing ppl yell or whisper or speak softly.

Back to the laundry room eh? That's more of an end goal than a plan. Oof this scene was great for me. I'm going to have to tag this as mom no look bc hoo babey love me a good thigh bleed. Castle she said not to go in. Girl holster your gun, don't put it on the ground. Love the way her pants are shredded. B'y he's probably manipulating u. When did you see him look at her...? She would probably be using much faster slashes imo, but that depends on the goal. Raises the pinky finger all fancy like. The dryer...???? Where is ryan? Espt was told to get everyone up the stairs but where was ryan? Was he with the family upstairs?

Alexis <3 <3 I love alexis & castle, they are me & my mom in several ways, & sometimes role reversal too.

Nice fencing swords. awww that's such a cute pic!

[btsmosphere]

hohoooo boy, this one packs a punch😫this is a prettyyy long review, so before leaving a cut I’ll just say, highly recommend a read of this!! and read on for the review🥰🥰

I really really loved the setup here, the way everything between Jimin and Sooah is so steeped in history. even tho we don’t know all the details, from the way you wrote it, it felt as if I did. you clearly know these characters inside out, it was amazing to get the sense of all the ups and downs, their attraction and the pitfalls of their relationship through everything they did in this night! I loooved the common threads of inside references, and the way their actions mirrored each other, or mirrored things from the past. it was so enticing when you already mentioned it’s always the quiet ones, even before we learned the context. there was just a hint of what already lay between these two..

something about the dynamic just pulls at my heartstrings so damn much. and I loved every moment! they really could never escape from everything that’s gone by - there were so many small touches and moments that just had me screaming!! they can’t take back the drama and the fights, but they also can’t take back the fondness and love at the root of it either. the constant remembering of the early days, even tho things later on may have not been so great... just the longing *chef’s kiss* (while crying)

what really drew me in the most was how real everything felt, their relationship and personalities. the characterisation and the interactions just blew me away Sooah being popular and confident but having her shyness and self-consciousness too. idk how to explain it, but I suppose if I was coming up with a character and picking out strengths and weaknesses just for the sake of it, I wouldn’t have paired those together- which is what makes it so much more real, she feels so human and you clearly know her so well, what she’s like, rather than clinically planning anything. like she already existed, you were just meant to write this character, I hope this makes sense!!? 

the way the past was always there, just knocking on the door but they tried to skirt around it !!!!! right from the start, with them pretending they didn’t remember everything, not wanting to reveal that they still knew every detail, I knew this would be juicy. and I wasn’t wrong!! it was inevitable that the complicated side would be let back in, the misunderstandings and bitterness

and let me just say, this: ‘He would never fully know Sooah. Not like I used to.’ GOT ME IN THE FUCKING CHEST!!!!!!! 😭😭he wants her, he love(d) her, he knows her better than anyone,, but at the same time all this time has elapsed and his claim is misplaced in the past. just something about this line wraps up all the messiness and desire and jealousy, the love tinged with regret - and I don’t know if Jimin even realises it! it’s not ‘he doesn’t know her like I do’ it’s ‘like I used to’ and that’s enough to convince me you’re a genius, cath. just the little switch of tense has my heart going crazyyy. he knew her best then, no one will ever know that version of her like he did, but now is a different story

another: ‘He still says her name like she’s Kim Sooah, and for a moment he’s still the same Park Jimin.’ THIS IS IT!! this line also wonderfully sums it up, the reason they’re still longing after all this time. I’m just a sucker for the history. you just wrote this whole thing, wrote them, so grown up and messy with all the layers that can’t be reasoned out, because it’s emotions you can’t control. to be able to weave that into a story is something magical and unqiue that you clearly have a real gift for

let me talk about the amazing sex too, tho I’m not sure I can ever gush enough about everything here! the sly banter about the car, her swiping the keys, it was all so suave. I went FERAL when he first kissed her neck lightly, just that extra moment where everything suspends before he kisses her the way we were anticipating! why could I imagine everything Jimin did here so well, help, just thinking about his nOises I’m WEAK😫and thank you, thank you, for the wonderful enthusiasm, communication and consent! there may be regrets and drama, but that little check in of ‘are you sure?’ is a weakness of mine, I love to see it

so BIG round of applause to you for this ride of a fic, thank you so so much for sharing!!💜💜

Familiar Faces (Jimin x OC)

Summary: Years after falling out over an unspoken yet common misunderstanding, Jimin finds himself face to face with his most significant ex-girlfriend at a party.

Pairing: Jimin x OC

Genre: Exes; flirting, smut, mild angst and fluff

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 12.5 K

Warnings: language, alcohol, longing, flirting, heavy petting, making out, nipple play, car sex, fingering, squirting, multiple orgasms, jealousy, arguments, mentions of infidelity and abandonment, more jealousy

A/N: A huge thank you to @hobicuffed for brainstorming this mess with me and falling for my Jimin because, in her words, who wouldn't (paraphrasing), and @ressjeon for helping me navigate through the hundreds of scenarios in my head <3

This is also part of my submission for the Bangtan Bingo Spring Event by @bangtanwritingbingo, using my square "Park Jimin".

Listen to: "trials of the past" by SBTRKT

jimin masterlist | main masterlist

It’s a single sound, but it’s enough for Jimin. Through the chaos of chatter, the throngs of people, and the never-ending bass, there’s one sound that makes it through the din of the party and pulls Jimin right back into the past.

It’s just that time of the year.

He must be dreaming. Two years ago, it seemed like she was out of his life for good. Of course, it had seemed like that four years ago, too… and five years ago as well. Every time they fell out, it felt like the last time. A few months would pass and the anger would simmer down, followed by a brief period of nostalgia before both of them got busy with their lives again, and eventually found their way back. Or, in this case, landed up at the same party. 

Jimin’s heart beats faster the more he thinks about it. It’s her, potentially, in the flesh. He tries to picture her hair, if it’s changed; if she’s still wearing those bracelets she’d been obsessed with the last time they were both okay; her thousand-watt smile, the curve of her waist into her hips…

It interrupts his thoughts again, the sound. This time, he knows it’s her. It’s so her. It takes him a second to realise he’s smiling, sort of. Despite the history, it could be fun to see her again. Maybe she’s changed. He certainly has; he’s thinner now, fitter. His hair is long, something girls seem to like. He could be reaching, but he thinks he’s gotten taller since the last time they saw each other, despite what Jungkook says.

The song ends and the opening notes of the next one reverberate through the house. This time, Jimin is prepared for it.

Achoo!

Twenty minutes earlier

Jimin hates Sungwoon.

Well, no, he doesn’t. Not really. He hates being invited to a party hosted by a friend of a friend, and then abandoned at said party by the latter friend - that is, Sungwoon. Ordinarily, he wouldn’t mind. He would almost welcome it: going to a party on a weekend, meeting new people, being charming, having a few drinks, possibly flirting with a couple of cute girls who might or might not recognise him.

Ordinarily, he wouldn’t mind. But tonight is just not one of those nights.

He doesn’t know why, though. He doesn’t like to admit it because it makes him sound rather jobless, but he honestly doesn’t even know why he’s here. In fact, the moment he drove up to the house and parked next to the three-storey Victorian house, the bass practically thumping through the walls and the structure looking like it was about to burst with the number of people inside it, he was fairly certain that half the people here wouldn’t know the host, let alone who or what the party is for.

Of course, Jimin is one of those people, too, loathe as he is to admit it. He has one drink in his hand that he’s been nursing for about fifteen minutes now, and he’s currently part of a circle of people in the kitchen who are debating the outcome of some anime show. He’s sure Namjoon would be a better person to participate in this debate, but still, Jimin finds himself talking to a boy and a girl, both around his own age, who seem to be more interested in explaining the show to him than anything else. He tries to look at it as a positive: at least he’s finally socialising.

“So, wait -” Jimin closes his eyes, frowning as he tries to remember. “Nanachi uses the incinerator and kills -”

“No, Reg uses the incinerator,” corrects Jia, the girl, her short blond hair moving as she shakes her head.

“Okay, so then Nanachi tells him to kill…”

“Mitty,” finishes the boy, finally looking satisfied that he’s catching on.

“But…” Jimin frowns deeper. “I thought Nanachi and Mitty were friends. Or something.”

“Exactly,” exclaims Jia, now looking rather hassled. “That’s why it’s so shocking. And that’s why we’re taking bets on the finale this week.”

“It’s going to destroy Reg, to kill her,” says the boy forlornly, shaking his head. Meanwhile, Jia dramatically downs the rest of her drink, turning away as though she can’t bear to talk about it anymore. “Even Nanachi.”

Jimin doesn’t trust himself to respond. He thinks he’s got the broad gist of why everyone is so deeply involved in this show, but the last thing he wants is to contribute and end up sounding stupid, especially since Jia is quite cute… and has been nonchalantly touching his arm every few seconds.

“That’s rough,” he mumbles finally, but a new person’s entry seems to divert everyone’s attention. Jimin peers over a few heads to see a girl he does not recognise enter, but from next to him, Jia skips over to give her a hug and some general chatter begins. He hovers in the same spot for a couple of minutes, slowly sipping his drink and hoping Jia will return but she doesn’t. In fact, she links her arm with the new girl and they both leave the kitchen together, waving at the small group and disappearing.

Jimin leaves, too, eventually. Sungwoon finally texts him (A friend had car trouble. Picking him up on the way. Should be there soon.); it’s only somewhat helpful because while Jimin is reassured that his friend hasn’t abandoned him, it means he has a decent amount of time to kill before he does show up. He leaves the kitchen then, downing the rest of his drink and making his way to the drinks’ table for another.

There’s a surprising amount of choice; opting for a vodka with cranberry juice, a safe yet fun choice, Jimin turns back to face the party, hoping for some familiar face. He wishes he’d brought someone along. He’d almost asked Taehyung, but he’d been on a video call with Dilara and unceremoniously shut the door in Jimin’s face, giving him just enough time to say hi to her before he was alone in the hallway of their dorm. Jungkook had been his next choice, but he’d been knee-deep in a video game when Jungkook had entered, complaining about some player somewhere who was surely cheating.

Hoseok would have accompanied him, Jimin decided, taking a long gulp of his drink and feeling the liquor go straight to his head. But he was visiting family back in Gwangju, thus leaving Jimin all alone. He finishes the rest of his drink, feeling marginally lighter, and goes to pour himself another one.

“Hi.”

Jimin almost jumps out of his skin but recovers quickly. Hoping he hasn’t spilt something on his white shirt (the pink will be impossible to wash off), he turns slightly to see an unfamiliar face.

“Hi,” he replies, slightly unsure but smiling anyway. The guy standing next to him is a bit taller, with a clean buzzcut along the side of his head. He’s holding what smells like whiskey, and he knocks his glass against Jimin’s with a smile.

“I’m Jihoon,” he says, bowing slightly and flashing a smile when Jimin reciprocates. “Sorry, but… you look really familiar.”

Jimin nods, a bit bashful but mostly relieved. While being recognised wasn’t necessarily something he was hoping for, at least it ensures that he won’t have to spend any longer standing by himself next to the drinks table like some chump. “Jimin,” he says, grinning back and shaking Jihoon’s hand. He’s a bit thrown by how firm the handshake is but lets it go.

The mention of his name seems to click, and Jihoon makes a sound of acknowledgement. “Of course. Jasmine here -” He throws his arm around a girl next to him whom Jimin had not noticed until this very moment, “- is a huge fan. She was just complaining that this playlist doesn’t seem to have any BTS in it.”

Next to him, Jasmine, who’s about a head shorter than her companion with warm, amber-coloured hair, flushes. “I didn’t say that,” she mutters, unsticking Jihoon’s arm from her. “I just meant… usually people dance at these kinds of parties which makes them more fun. If they played more dance music, like BTS, it would be. Maybe bring some life to the party.” She rolls her eyes, presumably at Jihoon’s exaggeration.

Jimin smiles, for she’s cute. “I agree with you completely,” he says, noting with pride at how her cheeks go pink again and she suppresses a smile. “It’s never fun dancing alone, though.”

“Oh, you don’t have to -” Jihoon is cut off when Jimin gasps. “Wh-what? What happened?”

It takes Jimin a few seconds. Achoo! When he hears it a third time, he can’t help but chuckle to himself, almost disbelievingly. Out of all the places to find her again… he shakes his head, already feeling the familiar ache of the past, of homework and ice creams, of teenage secrets and first loves.

“I’m - I’m sorry,” he says to Jihoon and Jasmine, suddenly remembering he’s not alone. “I, uh.. I just have to go… find someone.” Jimin’s already walking away when Jasmine calls his name, barely audible over the music.

“Wait! Find who?”

Jimin shrugs, turning back only momentarily. “The life of the party!”

It’s a bit of a stretch, for while she certainly can be the life of the party, Jimin isn’t in a place to presume anymore. He follows the sound, though, guessing vaguely where it might have come from. He reaches what looks like a lounge, by a hallway that’s less crowded and where the music isn’t quite as loud. There’s a dull haze in the air, though; Jimin suspects he’s only noticed it because he’s come from the much more airy living room, but the strong smell of weed solves the mystery for him.

Achoo!

Jimin’s heart thuds. She’s definitely here. When a group of boys exit the lounge with raucous laughter, bumping into people and taking a joint with them, he finally sees her. From behind the group, near the door of the lounge, the smoke clears and he sees her for the first time in two years. Her hair is a bit shorter, bangs longer, a bottle of Corona in one hand as she holds a tissue to her face. Even from this distance, he can spot the red tip of her nose as she sniffles, looking cross as ever.

Jimin snickers but doesn’t look away. Almost as though she can hear him, she looks right at him. Her face goes slack for a moment, eyes sparkling, before she tilts her chin up. She’s fifteen feet away and silent, but he can almost hear her. It’s always the quiet ones.

Sooah can’t quite believe it… and yet, she can. Of course it’s Jimin. Of course he’s here, two years after their last fall out, right here at a party that she’s already bored of. Of course he’s grown up even more, his hair a bright blond, his leather jacket fitting snugly around his shoulders, smile cocky as he waves at her. Of course.

She bites her lip as he walks over, graceful and, in her opinion, far too smiley after what went down the last time. She sneezes once more before he reaches her. “Remember when you hated parties, Park Jimin?”

“I got over it,” he says easily. “Kim Sooah,” he adds after a moment, smile widening. Sooah looks exactly like he remembers, down to the sniffling nose and the bracelets on her left wrist, peeking out from under the sleeve of her frayed denim jacket.

She observes him for a moment with narrowed eyes, trying to ignore the familiar racing of her heart. For fuck’s sake, it’s just Jimin. “How did you find me?” she asks. As if on cue, she sneezes into the tissue once more.

“That’s how,” he replies, patting her casually on the back as she emerges, sniffling again. It feels like the most familiar gesture.

“Ugh, I hate it,” she grumbles, shaking her hair out of her face. “Don’t worry, I’m not sick or anything. It’s some allergy - I don’t know what, though. It’s just -”

“- that time of the year,” he finishes, along with her. There’s a small pause when she nods and Jimin turns to glance at their surroundings. “Have you ever thought about moving away from all this smoke?”

Sooah rolls her eyes. “I’m waiting for a friend,” she explains, pointing to the room where the smoke is wafting out from, now greyer than ever. 

“How long have you been waiting?”

“Like twenty minutes.” She scoffs, as though she’s just realised it herself. “Scratch that: yeah, let’s move away from the smoke, please.”

Like the oldest habit, both of them leave together, reaching the living room where Jimin had got his drink from. “Do you want another drink?” he asks, pointing to her bottle. “Since when do you like beer, anyway?”

“A lot of things change in two years, Park Jimin,” she says meaningfully, cocking an eyebrow at him. “But I’m trying to stay light tonight. Still recovering from a hangover,” she adds.

Jimin nods, not surprised. Sooah had been popular at school; so popular that a party would rarely occur without her in attendance. Her friend group was bigger than he could hope to keep track of; he didn’t think many of them were close friends, but it was enough for her to be a permanent face at every event, be it a birthday party, graduation parties, leaving parties, even club openings in Seoul, if the Instagram updates Jimin has checked surreptitiously over the years are any indication. Taking all this into account, it’s no wonder he's run into her for the first time in years at yet another party.

Jimin’s very own attendance at a party had been only six months after he’d joined their school in Seoul. Even there, he suspected to this day that it was because Taehyung had asked the girl hosting to invite him. Naturally, he’s never confirmed this with Taehyung and Taehyung has never volunteered the information either, but it was the first time he had seen Kim Sooah out of her school uniform, with her hair down her shoulders and, predictably, with the small group of pretty and popular kids who were always rumoured to be the only ones able to sneak in alcohol and weed until everyone got older. 

Nam Daehyun had been one of them, a basketball player, taller than everyone else in the class. It had become apparent later on that it was only because he’d hit his growth spurt earlier than the other boys, but at seventeen years old, it had seemed like he’d accomplished the greatest thing. Jimin didn’t know if he was Sooah’s boyfriend; it wouldn’t have surprised him in the least since they were always together, albeit with the rest of their group as well. It didn’t matter, for she was much further away from him than simply the width of a room.

Of course, Jimin hadn’t the courage to approach her that night, or the next day. In fact, the first time they’d ever exchanged more than a few words wasn’t until weeks later, when Sooah had approached him in the library for help with her maths homework. She was always so confident, even from afar, that Jimin had been surprised at how quiet and almost timid she’d looked when she’d asked him if he was indeed Park Jimin.

Taehyung told me you’re the best in our class, she’d said. It had taken Jimin a few seconds to process what she asked and then nod, gesturing to the chair next to him. She’d sighed in relief and sat down, smelling of Dove soap. I’m Sooah, she’d said, as though he wouldn’t know. He’d shook her hand, she’d smiled, and Jimin had almost been blinded.

It had been only half an hour of tutoring, but something about the way she looked at him while he explained their homework to her had twisted his heart. It was as though she’d just noticed him, even though he’d been in her class for nearly three semesters. But she’d listened diligently, taking notes and clarifying doubts, until they reached the last problem which she finished on her own. 

Sooah had beamed and Jimin’s heart had skipped a beat. I wish I was as smart as you, she’d said wistfully, the sunlight from the library window making her hair glow a warm brown. 

You’re very smart, he’d replied, tapping the notebook on the last question. 

Not as smart as you, she’d disagreed, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. She’d left after that, apologetically stating that she had to get to volleyball practice. Jimin had watched her gather her things, unable to believe that he’d spent a whole half hour with Kim Sooah - and that she had come to him.

You’re really nice, Park Jimin, she’d said, just before leaving. She looked like a teenage vision in her school uniform, hair loose even though it was against school rules, the sun shining right on her from the window. With his bowl cut, glasses and chubby cheeks, Jimin wondered with a dull pang if she’d even remember his name tomorrow.

But he’d smiled back, if a bit resigned. So are you, Kim Sooah.

We don’t get a lot of that around here, she’d said, and she sounded a bit disappointed. But then she’d touched his shoulder. It’s always the quiet ones. He’d watched her walk away, her short skirt fluttering by the backs of her toned thighs, her long hair bouncing gently as she left, and tried to count himself lucky that he’d had thirty uninterrupted minutes with Kim Sooah at all.

“Is that Jihoon?”

Sooah’s voice breaks him out of his memory. Trying to ignore the slight racing of his pulse, Jimin turns to look in the direction she is. He instantly recognises the tall guy with the buzzcut, his smaller and shyer friend standing next to him.

"Oh. Yeah."

She turns to him, frowning in surprise. "You know him?"

"Mhm," he replies seriously, nodding and taking a sip of his drink. "Jihoon and Jasmine."

“Huh.” Sooah turns back to look at them. “Jihoon and Jasmine?”

“Yeah. I think she was hitting on me.” Jimin observes her from the corner of his eye, wondering if he’s imagining how her expression changes an infinitesimal amount.

“Uh-huh.” She nods slowly. “Why do you think that?”

He shrugs, focusing on nonchalance. “She’s a fan, apparently. And her friend Jihoon introduced her, so I guess she’s shy.” He grins innocently down at Sooah, blond hair falling effortlessly into his eyes. “I like shy girls.”

Sooah purses her lips and nods, clearly trying not to smile. “Really? Did she say anything else?”

He raises his eyebrows. “Wait… why do you care?”

“I don’t.” Her face doesn’t betray anything, still holding his gaze with suppressed amusement. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. About as sure as the fact that Jasmine was not hitting on you.” 

He scoffs. “It’s been years, Sooah. I really don’t think -”

“Jihoon was,” she finishes, returning the charming and innocent smile he’d given her.

“I -” Jimin is driven to silence, but whether due to this new revelation or his ex-girlfriend’s blinding smile, he’s unsure. He looks back in Jihoon’s direction, who, as though he’s heard his own name, looks up and meets Jimin’s gaze. He grins and waves, which Jimin returns with only a moment’s hesitation. Looking back down at Sooah, he shrugs. “I’ll take it.”

She chuckles before sneezing again. “Okay, so it wasn’t the weed,” she grumbles, dabbing her nose again. 

“Seems to be getting better, though,” he says, lightly patting her back. His stomach flutters when his thumb accidentally brushes her bra strap.

Sooah nods just as the song changes. “Oh, my god. Do you remember this song?”

Jimin, cheeks already getting hot, shakes his head. “No.”

“Yes, you do!” she exclaims, clearly seeing through him. “It was the first time you danced for all of us, remember? You said you were a modern dancer and you couldn’t do hip hop, but then your friend - I can’t remember her name -” lies “- said you had a real flair for dancing.” She grabs his arm, tugging as though to get him to remember.

“First of all,” he says, putting his hand over hers on his shoulder to get her to stop moving, “she didn’t say it, she yelled it,” he corrects, rolling his eyes. “Secondly, it wasn’t hip hop. It was popping. And I was… I was good. Wasn’t I?” He looks down at her, like he has so many times before.

“Of course you were,” she answers easily. “I remember thinking, Park Jimin is cool. He’s smart and he can dance.” She takes a swig of her beer, apparently oblivious to how his heart swells with pride at her compliment, as though out of habit.

“You thought I was cool?” he asks, a little belatedly.

Sooah, who’s watching a few people start to dance now, gives him a look. “No. I asked you out because I thought you were uncool. Jesus, Jimin.”

Jimin frowns slightly as she looks away again, a memory tugging at the corner of his mind. But then the song fades into another, a popular one this time.

She chuckles “How long before you get asked to dance to this? Steps and all?”

“No, I don’t think anyone here has recognised me yet. Except Jihoon, I guess,” he adds, tilting his head. “God, I don’t think I can dance to this ever again.”

“Don’t remember the steps?”

“I don’t think I could forget the steps to Idol if I tried.” He raises an eyebrow. “I’ll dance if you dance, though.”

Predictably, she scoffs. “Yeah, right. Dancing in front of strangers may be what you do for a living, but you couldn’t pay me to do that.”

“I like dancing in front of strangers,” he says, a little defensively. “Believe me, I gave up a lot to be able to do that.”

“Oh, I know,” she says under her breath, but loud enough for Jimin to catch it. 

He sighs. “Sooah -”

She turns to look up at him at the sound of her name, forehead smooth but eyes almost challenging, as though she’s waiting to see if he’ll actually bring it up. Jimin holds her gaze, feeling the familiar rush of excitement of not knowing what was next, as it always was with Sooah. 

“Yes?”

Jimin licks his lips, the corners of his mouth already twitching. “Dance with me,” he says abruptly.

She frowns and rolls her eyes. “Don’t be funny, Jimin.” She looks away from him, almost nervously, and takes a large sip of her beer and immediately sneezes again.

“I’m not,” he says lightly, patting her back again.

“You know I’m a shit dancer.”

“I’m not. Together, we average each other out.”

“Using your maths genius to manipulate me?” Sooah raises an eyebrow and chuckles. “It’s always the quiet ones.”

Jimin’s heart skips a beat, but before he can dwell on it, someone whoops and a cluster of people join the makeshift dance floor in the middle of the living room. “Oh, come on, you actually like this song.”

“I like listening to it. Quietly. In a corner, with my beer.” She raises her bottle, apparently not noticing how it’s almost empty.

“Sooah, come on, it’s been two years,” insists Jimin, hearing himself whine a bit and cringing slightly. “For lost time.”

“It’s been two years because you left for Europe.”

“Actually, it’s been two years because you went on a trip to Busan and didn’t call me when you returned to Seoul.”

“Because you’d left for Europe by then!” Sooah shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter. Can’t we just stand here and catch up?”

“We can also dance and catch up,” he points out, widening his eyes pleadingly when she gives him a look. “One song.”

She bites her lip, the lipstick red against her white teeth. With the thin black choker, a plain red top and the light blue denim jacket, she looks like she’d been on her way to someplace else when she’d decided to bless this party with her attendance at all. If that’s true, Jimin kind of can’t believe his luck.

“Fine,” she says finally, turning around to place her near-empty bottle on the mantle behind her. “One song. But you’re leading and don’t you dare let me trip, Park Jimin.”

Jimin snickers and places his cup next to her bottle. “Don’t worry, Kim Sooah,” he says, grabbing her hand and walking backwards, “I’m good enough for the both of us.”

Sooah believes him, because she doesn’t have any reason not to. He’s always been graceful, always the most beautiful person in any crowd, despite what he used to think of himself back in school, and later during his debut. Once he’d started gaining some confidence, Sooah remembers, all eyes went straight to Park Jimin - and hers were no exception.

“Okay, now…” Jimin pulls her towards him and wraps an arm around her back, the other holding her hand in his, “just relax. And move,” he adds when she freezes.

Sighing, she tries to loosen up. “I actually do like this song,” she admits, trying to sway like Jimin, whose hips and body are moving in rhythm to the music without him seemingly even trying.

“Of course you do,” he agrees, gently pushing her away to spin her. Her hair brushes his chest as she does and he catches a whiff of something pleasantly floral. His heart soars in amusement as Sooah turns clumsily, stumbling back into his arms.

“I hate you,” she mutters, tossing her bangs out her eyes and trying to pay attention to his feet.

“At least you’re doing it with a professional,” he says, pulling her closer - and noting how she doesn’t resist. When she simply shrugs nonchalantly, he gives her a look. “Really? Is there someone else you’d rather be doing this with?”

She pauses only for a moment before shaking her head. “No,” she says honestly, her heart skipping an unexpected beat when he grins down at her, blond hair falling into his eyes.

Kim Sooah had fallen in love with Park Jimin sooner than she’d expected. She’d realised it within a month after they’d started dating, when he’d gotten a rare evening off from dance practice and shyly texted her to see if she could meet him. They’d gone for ice cream, where they’d had fun trying out the different flavours until she’d decided on cookies ‘n’ cream (Jimin had foregone one due to his diet), and then gone to the park where, in the seclusion of the shrubbery and setting sun, they’d fooled around in the grass.

They were only teenagers, a popular girl and the shy new student who’d embedded himself in her mind since the day she’d asked him for help with maths. Sooah wasn’t sure what it was, just that he’d been sweet and smart, and even charming and funny once he’d opened up to her a bit. He treated her better than any of her friends, even the boys that claimed to have a crush on her, and seemed to care about her interests and personality beyond just what party she was planning to attend that weekend. 

That day at the park, he’d been confiding her about how he’d been up all night practising a difficult dance routine, his face transparent with worry. He’d nailed it, though, that day during the test, and they’d given him the evening off as a reward. Sooah had shared his happiness genuinely, loving how his face shone with relief, and had asked him to show her some of it. He’d declined immediately, continuing to do so until she’d confessed that she was a terrible dancer so she couldn’t judge him even if she wanted to. 

Biting his lip, he’d pressed a quick kiss to her mouth before standing up and showing it to her. The passion and grace in his movements had been unparalleled, and the fact that he trusted her had tugged at her heartstrings in a way she’d never felt before. Even as the sky darkened, Jimin remained the brightest thing in her vision, and she felt everything she’d read in books and seen in the movies. She was in love, and she hoped to everything she knew that he was, too.

She hadn’t said anything, naturally, not until months later, just before summer vacation was to begin and she had to go back to Busan to visit her grandparents. She’d confessed and he’d returned her feelings, and they’d had sex with each other for the first time.

At that moment, Sooah sneezes again. “Jesus,” she mutters, stopping in her tracks. “What is it in this house?”

Jimin grins again, hips moving subtly in time to the music. “It’s just that time of the year,” he says wisely, spinning her awkwardly again and chuckling when she trips over her feet.

“You’re doing this on purpose, Jimin,” she hisses, nudging him in annoyance.

“Me?” He tugs her closer. “You’re the one with two left feet. I’m the only reason you’re standing upright.”

Sooah’s heart races and she grabs the lapels of his jacket, pulling him closer dramatically. She tries to ignore how close his plush, pink lips are, twisted in a smirk. “Good thing the song’s getting over, then. I can stand upright all by myself when you aren’t steering me around.” 

Jimin nods, slowing down as the song indeed changes. “That’s good. Do you want me to hang around, though?” He gestures to the tissue she brings out of her pocket, presumably as a precaution. “Just in case you lose your balance battling your allergies?”

She shrugs. “It’s up to you, really.”

“No, I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“You really think you can leave the dance floor while this song is playing?”

“Of course.” Jimin gives her an amused look. “I have some self-control. And it’s much more fun dancing with you.”

Flirty little shit. Sooah narrows her eyes. “Dancing? I was just trying not to look stupid, while you were…” She gestures vaguely.

“Breathtaking? I know,” he says seriously. “And you can’t ever look stupid while you’re dancing with me.”

“That’s a lot of confidence, Chim, for someone who was too afraid to get out there just because Idol was playing.” She raises an eyebrow and waits for a similar response, possibly with a backhanded compliment inserted in there. But there’s a small nostalgic smile on his face and the moment Sooah realises why, she feels her cheeks getting warm.

“Sooah, you know you can -”

“Um, hi.” 

Jimin is cut off and turns to see Jia, the same girl who’d been passionately explaining that anime to him earlier in the kitchen. Her short hair bobbing as she murmurs a “hi” to Sooah, she looks back up at Jimin with a nervous smile.

“I hope this isn’t too cliche,” she begins, tilting her head charmingly, “but… do you want to dance?”

Jimin raises his eyebrows, and it seems to be only then that he and Sooah realise that they’re still in the middle of the makeshift dance floor, the only ones standing still as people around them do the viral dance moves to the song. His eyes flicker to Sooah, eyes wide and innocent - and daring her to say something.

Sooah holds his gaze for a moment before tearing her eyes away and looking at Jia. “Oh, of course,” she says, taking a step back. “He was just saying that he wants to dance - and I’m not a very good dancer, so.” She shrugs sweetly and gestures towards Jimin, biting her lip when she sees his face go slack.

“Oh, well -” Jia chuckles self-consciously, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “I don’t think anyone here is as good as you, but if you’re okay…” She shrugs, and Jimin finds himself charmed, especially when Sooah nods. 

“Of course,” he replies, smiling and asking for Jia’s hand. “Sooah has never liked dancing all that much.”

“Guilty.” She takes another step back and waves at them, grinning at Jimin who meets her gaze over Jia’s head. Her stomach jolts unpleasantly when he takes her hand and spins her around, but she retains her expression, making sure he sees her grab her beer and leave the room.

Jimin finds her soon enough, less than five minutes later. Sooah is on the steps of the balcony to the front yard, observing the handful of smokers and lone party-goers getting a breath of fresh air. With a fresh gin and tonic in one hand, she feels the cool breeze through her hair, interrupted by a light, fruity scent that makes her stomach flip.

“I hate you.”

Eyes closed, Sooah laughs. She feels Jimin take a seat next to her and opens her eyes to see him scowling. “Whatever do you mean, Park Jimin?”

“She was the worst dancer I have ever seen,” he blurts out, looking truly hassled. “Like… I don’t even know if I can call that dancing. She knocked into two people and it was like she was trying to stay off beat.” He shakes his head. “And you knew, didn’t you?”

Sooah laughs again, and despite himself, Jimin’s heart skips a beat. “That’s the good thing about me. At least I know I’m a terrible dancer.”

“You could’ve warned me.”

“You wanted to dance,” she reminds him. “And I’ve never liked dancing all that much.”

“She stepped on my feet twice, Sooah.” He sticks out his foot, long and lean in tight black jeans, to show her his shiny black shoe. “These are new shoes. And expensive.”

She raises her eyebrows. “You bought yourself super expensive shoes and wore them to a house party? Where anyone could spill sticky liquor all over them?”

Jimin shrugs, looking a bit sullen. His pale jaw is bright against the dark sky. “I didn’t even buy them,” he says after a moment, sounding a bit defensive. “Taehyung bought them for me, for my birthday.”

Sooah nudges his shoulder playfully. “Oh. Then it’s alright.” She waits for him to acknowledge her reply, accepting the shrug he gives her. “How is Tae, by the way?”

He lets out a long sigh, looking up. “I don’t know, honestly.”

“Wait, what? You’re still close, aren’t you?”

“What? No, yeah, of course we are. He’s just…” Jimin gestures vaguely. “He’s trying to get this girl to date him and… I don’t know how it’s going, honestly.”

“Really?” Sooah frowns curiously. “Taehyung can’t get a girl to go out with him? That’s new.”

“He asked out Park Soyeon twice in senior year before he finally gave up.” The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them. There’s a momentary pause before he scrambles to cover it up. “I don’t think that’s what’s going on here, though. She likes him, too, but she’s a foreigner and…” He sighs, suddenly tired. “I don’t know. There’s a lot of drama going on there.”

She nods thoughtfully as she leans backwards on her hands, her light blue denim jacket brushing against his leather one. Her cheeks are as full as ever, and Jimin is faced with an insane urge to pinch them. “It’s a good thing we never had any drama.”

He pauses before snorting. “No, no… never. No drama,” he adds, glad to see she’s grinning, too. He drops his gaze to the ground, acknowledging a bit gratefully that they’re able to joke about it. He nudges a tuft of grass with the toe of his shoe, trying not to close his eyes at the smell of her floral perfume. “Were you really mad that I left for Europe?”

Sooah stiffens. Her knuckles tighten on the step she’s sitting on, and she fixes her gaze on two guys across the yard, both peering into one phone. “No.”

“No?”

“It’s your job, Jimin.”

“I meant, without calling.”

She’s mildly surprised at how bold he’s being. “I wasn’t mad,” she says decidedly. Her light blue jeans look extraordinarily pale next to his black ones, their knees an inch away from each other. “I was surprised, that’s all.” She shrugs with a forced nonchalance she hopes he won’t spot. “I thought we were… I thought we were good.”

“We were,” he says automatically. When she doesn’t respond, he bites his lip. “Why didn’t you call me when you were in Busan? I didn’t hear from you for two whole weeks.”

Sooah’s stomach twists unpleasantly. “I wasn’t sure if I was meant to, you know?” she says in a small voice, shrugging. “We weren’t dating,” she reminds him.

Jimin nods slowly. “I thought you were back together with Daehyun,” he says after a moment, anticipating her reaction a moment before it comes.

“That would be difficult since we weren’t ever together.”

The silence that settles over them is a familiar one, thick with baggage and past misunderstandings. Jimin can almost predict the pattern of their conversation if they continue along this thread, which mistakes would be brought up and which passive aggressive comments would be made until one of them either snapped or walked away. Despite knowing, he feels an old, familiar panic grip his heart when he thinks about her walking away from him, another familiar sight.

A cool gust of wind blows then, making Sooah’s hair fly off her neck, revealing thin hoop earrings. Jimin runs a hand through his ruffled blond hair. “Why did you come out here?”

She shrugs, glad for the change in topic. “Thought it would help with the allergies.”

He frowns, suddenly aware that she hasn’t sneezed once since he joined her. “Looks like it worked.” He chances a look at her when she nods. “I thought because…” He trails off, not knowing if this is another line of conversation that could end badly.

“Because of Jia?”

To his relief, her eyes are twinkling and her lips are tilted up in half a smirk. He wants to see that smile again, the blinding one. “Yeah, because of Jia,” he says, a bit more confidently.

“Because she’s a bad dancer?”

“Is that the only reason you might have a problem with Jia?”

“Why would I have a problem with Jia at all?” She narrows her eyes playfully, and - Jimin swears he’s not imagining it - her gaze flickers momentarily to his mouth before meeting his eyes again.

“I don’t know.” Jimin plays along, tilting his head and licking his lips. “She did interrupt us.”

“I usually brace myself for interruptions when I’m with the famous Park Jimin. You do need to cater to your fans.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Weren’t you a fan?”

The biggest one, once. But Sooah doesn’t say it. This, too, is a familiar turn of conversation, and she’d rather not disturb it. “Probably not the same kind.” When Jimin can no longer hide the grin on his face, her heart skips a beat. “Where are you off to next?”

An abrupt change of subject. Right on cue. “Um… America, next month.”

“Concert?”

“No, just promotion. Austin, Texas,” he recites. “Supposed to be freezing, apparently.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll find someone to keep you warm.” Sooah nudges his shoulder, and he rolls his eyes before turning to her. “Christ, Chim, it’s not my fault if your mind goes straight to the gutter.”

“So you don’t mind if I find someone to keep me warm?” Jimin asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course not. Would you mind if I found someone to keep me warm here? Seoul gets pretty cold, too.”

Jimin bites his lip, feeling a flutter low in his abdomen. “I wouldn’t know about that. I run pretty hot myself.”

“Lies.” But Sooah finds she’d suddenly like to test that theory. “Speaking of… it’s getting pretty cold right now, don’t you think?” As if to prove her point, she pulls her thin jacket a bit tighter around her. The movement pushes her breasts together, a hint of cleavage visible over the clingy red top. For the first time, he notices her nipples, erect and pushing against her top, and he feels himself suddenly stir.

“Is it?” He swallows and straightens up, adjusting his jacket and pretending not to notice how her gaze lingers on his lean biceps as they flex. “I’m wearing a leather jacket.”

“And you run hot.”

“Exactly.” He pauses as he watches her bring her hair to the front of her shoulders, as if to keep her warm. The action sends a whiff of her shampoo, something similarly floral, straight to his nose and he bites his lip. “I have an extra hoodie in my car,” he says after a moment.

Sooah’s mouth twists to stop the automatic smile. Right on cue. “Yeah?” When Jimin nods and stands up, her heart skips a beat at how glorious he looks. It’s not purely admiring, though; there’s an old, painfully familiar uneasiness at it, at a twenty-one year old Jimin who’s suddenly aware of his own attractiveness, especially in relation to her.

“Sooah?”

It’s the one thing that’s remained constant through the years, through the teenage drama, the debut, the fame, the distance. He still says her name like she’s Kim Sooah, and for a moment he’s still the same Park Jimin. It’s always the quiet ones. She feels a sudden tightness in her throat and immediately stands up to cover it up, swallowing and fluffing out her hair.

“Lead the way,” she says, glad she sounds normal. Jimin’s eyes twinkle as they begin walking, hands safely in their pockets while their shoulders brush. Her stomach flutters again, a warmth forming low in her abdomen as they leave the party behind and reach the quieter area of the parking lot.

“Which one’s yours? Let me guess,” continues Sooah, turning and walking backwards, “the most expensive one?”

“Your words, not mine.” He stops in between four cars, all shiny and fairly fancy. “You really want to guess?”

She narrows her eyes. “Not the Ferrari,” she says right off the bat, pointing at the shiny red car to his left. “Too ostentatious, even for you.”

“I do like my subtlety,” he sighs, running a hand through his blond hair. 

“Sure you do,” she murmurs, taking her time to look away from the sliver of hard muscle as his shirt rides up. When she looks back up at him, he meets her gaze with a smirk. “Not the Volvo.”

“No?”

“Nope. Not sexy enough.”

Jimin grins, watching her movements more openly now as she walks slowly over to one of the two remaining cars. Her walk is still the same, naturally confident. She saunters over to the wine red Audi and turns around to face him, leaning backwards against the hood. “Do I have another guess left?”

“Just one,” he tells her, taking a step forward.

Sooah finds herself pressing her legs together as he gets closer, the leather jacket proving once again to be her biggest weakness. “What if I get it wrong?”

Jimin pauses. “You’ve already narrowed it down to two.”

“So? There’s a fifty percent probability of me getting it wrong.”

“You know me better than that. I taught you better than that.”

Sooah bites her lip, trying not to react to his cologne as he gets even closer. From this distance, the material of his t-shirt looks so flimsy that she’s sure she can see his tattoo through it. She forces herself to focus. “Did you?”

“It hasn’t been that long.”

“When I met you, you were the shy, sweet guy with the snapback who taught me calculus. Now you’re…” She trails off, making a show of looking at him up and down.

Jimin raises his eyebrows, open his arms with his hands in the pockets of his jacket, making her more certain than ever that he knows how it puts his lean torso on display. “Am I not sweet anymore?”

“You’re something,” she murmurs, tilting her head up to look at him as he gets even closer, less than a foot between them. “Definitely too famous to be hanging out with, say, an old high school flame. No?”

Taking a step closer, he halts, his eyes flickering momentarily as though with a past memory. “I haven’t changed that much.” Her lips are red, he observes, like a cherry, matching her top perfectly. Slightly lower, her nipples look hard as rock. “There’s about two hundred people in that house,” he reminds her, his voice low. “And I’m still here with you.”

Her heart begins to race at the sight of his lips, plush and pink as always. It’s always the quiet ones. “You’re just bored,” she states, but it doesn’t sound as confident as she intended.

“And you aren’t?”

“There’s two hundred people in that house, you know.”

Jimin bites his lip, not even trying to hide his grin as his gaze flickers to her mouth. It’s time. He leans down and tilts his head, slowly, so his lips barely brush her helix. “It’s been two years, Soaah,” he murmurs, her name sounding deliciously familiar on his tongue. He lowers his head slightly so his lips brush her earlobe now. “Bored is not the word I’d use.”

Sooah’s eyes flutter shut, goosebumps erupting on the back of her neck. There’s never been a situation more exciting yet familiar at the same time, especially when his last words sound only partly flirty. It can only go one of two ways now, depending on which she chooses. Tilting her head up slightly, she takes a deep breath. “Not the Mustang,” she murmurs finally.

She feels Jimin smile against her skin and his hand come up to her side, fingers brushing her stomach before his arm wraps around her waist. “Bingo,” he whispers, pressing a light, feathery kiss to her neck before bringing his lips straight to hers and kissing her.

He tastes like cranberry juice; her hands go straight up his torso, feeling the lean muscle for the first time in two years, before snaking it up to his face and hair. Blond suits him, she thinks absently as he pulls her closer, his soft lips feeling like velvet against hers. His hands go under her jacket now, feeling the curve of her waist down her hips before slipping his hands in the back pockets of her jeans.

Sooah gasps, pulling him closer by the lapels of his jacket. “You really haven’t changed that much,” she moans softly against his lips, loving how firm his hands feel on her arse.

“I told you,” he mutters, squeezing her once more before sliding one hand out of her pocket to bring it back up her side. Like an automatic reaction, his hand moves towards her chest and finally, finally brushes her nipple, making both of them moan in unison. “Fuck, Sooah,” he whines, “you still don’t believe in wearing a bra?”

“I haven’t changed that much either,” she whispers, moving her hands lower now, taking care to touch every inch of muscle she can before reaching his jeans to find what she’s really looking for.

Jimin pulls away when he feels her hands roam lightly down the front of his jeans. “Right here?”

“M-m.” She brings his head back down to kiss him with one hand, the other one brushing down his front, only momentarily teasing the restrained bulge, before feeling down his front pocket. Reaching for what she needs, she grins and breaks away. “Just wanted to see if I was right,” she says, pressing the button on the car key and biting her lip when the Audi beeps.

“I told you you were,” he sighs, but still backing her up the side of the car and reaching behind her to open the door to the back seat. He kisses her again before she backs into the car and shimmies up the seat, taking off her jacket. Jimin follows just behind to take off his own and push her down gently, lowering himself onto her and kissing her deeply.

She tugs his t-shirt off, sighing shakily when she finally sees everything she’d been imagining. “You’re so hot, Park Jimin,” she murmurs, reaching up to press a wet kiss to his collarbone before sucking on the same spot, her fingernails raking down his body.

Jimin groans audibly, at the sensation and at her words, his hair falling into his eyes as he lowers his head. Sooah’s hands reach for his belt and unbuckle it, and he follows suit as he unbuttons his jeans and undoes his zipper, freeing his erection slightly.

“Better?”

He can hear the smirk in her voice against his neck, feeling her press a kiss to the surely reddening spot. “Much,” he mutters, pushing her back down again and swallowing her chuckle in a kiss. He rolls his hips into hers, helping her spread her legs along the seat. Slowly, teasingly, he touches his tongue to her lips, running them along the side, tasting the light gin and tonic she’d been drinking along with something smoky. It’s addictive, whatever it is, and he can’t get enough of it.

Sooah pulls him lower by the waist as she kisses him back, loving how his body feels against hers. He always did have the most beautiful body, diet or no diet, especially because he knew how to use it, how to mould it against hers so she felt him, his skin, his feel everywhere. Even now, as he’s covering her completely, his biceps taut as he runs a hand up her sternum and lightly squeezes her breast, she still wants more.

“Chim,” she whispers, the old familiar nickname feeling natural on her tongue, biting her lip when he trails his lips down her jaw. She tilts her head back automatically, giving him access to her neck, her knee bending automatically.

“Yeah?” he asks, lips lightly biting at the strap of her tank top.

“Chim,” she repeats softly, running a hand through his thick hair, “suck my tits.”

Right on fucking cue. Jimin makes a sound against her skin that’s something between a groan and whine at her soft command, immediately pulling away slightly to push her top up her torso. Sooah watches his expression as he slows down, carefully peeling the top over her breasts like he’s unwrapping a present. Against her crotch, she feels his erection twitch.

“No bra,” he breathes, eyes flickering up to hers. “I was right.”

“I told you you were.” Her eyes flutter shut when he kisses her left nipple, first lightly, then a bit more passionately. She tugs at his hair and he takes the hint, wrapping his lips around it and sucking it. “Fuck,” she whispers, her back arching off the beige leather seat. His other hand moves down her bare waist to stop at the button of her jeans. Pausing to see if she’ll stop him, he unbuttons it expertly with one hand and unzips it before sliding his hand down to feel her warm, wet core.

“Yes,” she whispers, reaching up with her hand for her other breast and squeezing it, bringing the nipple between her fingers. “Chim, do you have a condom?”

Jimin lets her nipple fall out of his mouth before nodding, his hair brushing against her breast. “It’s in the glove compartment…” Grunting softly as he climbs off her, he leans over the gear shift and clicks it open, rummaging in its contents in the dark. In the meantime, Sooah tears her eyes away from how tight his thighs and hips look in his jeans and takes off her own along with her underwear, and tugs her top back down as Jimin returns.

He shakes the square plastic packet and rips it open before pausing and looking down at her. “Are you sure you -”

“Yes.” She pulls him down to kiss him again, easing him back on top of her and between her legs, moaning into his mouth when he feels the cloth of his underwear against her clit. “Fuck, yes…”

Jimin lets her tug his jeans below his hips, her hands running over his tight backside before she slips two fingers behind the elastic of his boxer briefs. “Are you sure?” she asks, feeling his hard abdomen against her knuckles and feeling breathless.

He nods wordlessly and answers her with a kiss, more tender than the previous ones, a memory surfacing despite everything, of her asking him the same question years and years ago, the day he’d lost his virginity to her. Jimin slips his boxer briefs down, erection finally free, both of them groaning as his tip brushes her mound.

Sooah reaches between them to gently grasp him, smiling slightly when he gasps into her mouth. “Put it on, Jimin,” she whispers, feeling full and ready for him. He nods, pulling away slightly to slip on the condom and lining himself up at her entrance, glancing up at her once more and feeling his heart stop momentarily.

When she smiles slightly, almost shyly, he forgets what he was thinking and lowers his head to kiss her again, entering her slowly. Both of them groan softly in unison, and Jimin drops his head in the crook of her neck, pushing in further, feeling himself fully encased inside her. Sooah’s hands rake down his back, short fingernails scraping his skin sensually until they reach his hips. Taking the hint, he rolls his hips into hers, harder this time.

“Fuck, like that…” Sooah’s back arches again as he continues moving, his rhythm so delicious and teasing that she knows already that she won’t last too long. Besides, it’s just been so long. She wraps the leg on the outside of the seat around his waist, pulling him to her, wanting to feel him fill her up.

Jimin grunts softly, continuing to increase his speed. With one hand, he reaches for her top and pulls it down, allowing her breasts to be free and pushed up over the hem. She whimpers his name when he sucks at her nipple again, a bit rougher this time as he keeps thrusting into her. The car is filled with sounds of their kisses, gasps and thrusts, just them and no one else in the dark.

“I’m close…” Sooah’s voice is soft and high-pitched now as she feels herself approach her climax, clutching his hard shoulder as she finally comes undone. She feels him slow down as her orgasm washes over her, the pleasurable explosions following the major one. When she finally opens her eyes and locks eyes with him, she smiles in bliss and Jimin is blinded.

Angelic, smirking and wondrous all at once, his thick blond hair falling into his eyes, Park Jimin kisses her as he begins moving again. His movements are so smooth and so sensual that as he picks up his pace, faster this time as he chases his own orgasm, Sooah begins feeling a sensation low in her abdomen again.

“Fuck, Sooah…” Jimin whines, eyes screwed shut as his mouth falls open, his plush lips looking biteable and kissable in the dark. She kisses his jaw, his neck, his collarbone as he thrusts faster, his whimpers in line with the growing heat in her own core.

“Yes, yes…” She speaks without realising and notices Jimin’s eyes widen as he realises what’s happening. 

“Are you -”

“Yeah - faster, Chim…” The moment she says his name, Jimin’s thrusts hard before groaning. His head falls onto her shoulder but he keeps himself up on his forearms. He’s still inside her, though, and without thinking, she moves her hips upwards into his. On top of her, Jimin stiffens.

“Are you close, baby?” When she whimpers in the affirmative, he moans in satisfaction, straightening up and pulling out. “Shh, don’t worry,” he murmurs, replacing his cock with his fingers, inserting two fingers deep inside her, feeling her walls clench around him.

Sooah nods frantically, aware of how he’s watching her now with full attention, putting one more finger in as he pumps them in and out of her. “Yes, fuck…” It’s as though the first orgasm wasn’t enough, for the feel of his fingers and the sight of him so proud at the effect he’s having on her is enough to push her over the edge again. 

“Oh, fuck!” 

She feels the explosion harder than before, shuddering underneath him before she realises what’s happened. Looking down at the mess she’s just made, the droplets falling off his beautiful leather seats, she winces. “Oh, fuck,” she mutters, heart still racing. “I’m sorry, Chim…”

But Jimin shakes his head even as he avoids the liquid, retrieving his fingers gently. “Please don’t apologise for that,” he murmurs cheekily, leaning over to press another kiss to her mouth. “It’s okay, I have tissues…” He reaches over for the tissue box behind the gear shift and hands it to her, watching her fix her top before pulling out a handful as he takes off his condom and ties it up.

“It’s, um, been a while since that’s happened,” she speaks up after a moment, sounding uncharacteristically anxious. “Are you giving your car for servicing any time soon?”

Jimin chuckles as he buckles his belt, reaching for his t-shirt over the back of the seat. When he looks up to see her expression, he immediately shakes his head. “Sooah… don’t worry about it. Yes, I will be, actually,” he adds after a moment, noting how she nods and looks away.

“Okay. Cool.” Swinging her legs over the front of the seat, she rummages around for her underwear and jeans, silently pulling them on. Her hair swings over her shoulder, blocking Jimin from view until she sweeps it back over her neck to smoothen it.

“Should we…”

“Yeah.”

They climb out of opposite doors, jackets in their hands, emerging around the front of the car, tissues awkwardly bunched in their hands when Jimin pats the front of his jeans. “What did you do with the key?”

“Um -” Sooah frowns and turns back to the car. “I may have dropped it… somewhere.”

Jimin sighs and begins walking back to open the door. “Seriously, Sooah…”

“Hey, I was too busy with something else to pay attention to where I dropped your keys,” she says, only mildly defensive, as she opens the passenger door to search under the seat. She hears Jimin chuckle despite himself  as he rummages around at the back, and looks near the gear shift before her eyes trail over the glove compartment. The availability of the condom now seems awfully convenient, as does his apparent plan to give his car for servicing, all seemingly unrelated to their recent tryst.

“Found it!” Jimin’s voice shakes her out of her uneasy train of thought. “It was between the seats,” he declares, climbing back out of the car and gesturing for her to follow suit. As they retrace their steps out, making a beeline for a trash can at the edge of the parking lot, Sooah watches him walk ahead of her, the confidence in his stride so familiarly sexy and attractive, and yet so different from the Park Jimin she’d discovered in high school.

They head into the house together after that, still walking beside each other but somehow a bit more intimate, now that the proverbial ice of this reunion has finally been broken. The party is in full swing now, many more people dancing, the living room far more crowded.

“Do you want a drink?” Jimin asks loudly, leaning down to speak in her ear and touching the small of her back.

“Yeah. Cranberry juice and vodka for you?” She raises her eyebrows playfully, pulling him by the wrist towards the drinks table as he grins.

“It’s my favourite,” he tells her mock-defensively, following her and grabbing a bottle of gin the same time as she reaches for the carton of cranberry juice. They mix each other’s drinks and hand it to each other, Sooah raising her eyebrows in approval as she peers into her glass, and they knock their glasses together.

“Doesn’t look bad,” she says, taking a sip of her drink. She gives him a look when Jimin takes a sip of his and gags dramatically.

“Wish I could say the same,” he sputters, shaking his hair out of his eyes. “This is just vodka and barely any juice.”

“I did the best I could,” she says, shrugging easily.

“Really?” He raises an eyebrow as the song changes to a popular one, and a roar of cheers emanates from the dance floor. “Trying to get me drunk? Want to take advantage of me, Kim Sooah?”

“I think we took enough advantage of each other, Park Jimin,” she replies, moving a bit closer to him, “and this isn’t high school anymore.”

Jimin bites his lip, the back of his neck tingling. In a bold move, he brushes her hair away from her neck and peels her jacket away from her skin. "Some things are still like high school," he reminds her, smirking when her cheeks flush.

Sooah licks her lips, the memory of her hickey on display as she entered their history class burning in her mind. "Jimin, I think I should let you know -"

At that moment, his eyes snap up to see something behind her, face breaking out into a grin. "Sungwoon!" he shouts over the music, waving hugely.

Sooah turns around as well to see the familiar face of Ha Sungwoon and his friend, her stomach sinking as though in slow motion. As both guys approach, Jimin grins and hugs Sungwoon, who then seems to notice her.

"This is Sooah," he says, “my… we know each other from high school. What the hell took you so long?" he adds quickly, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

"My friend got a flat tyre and - oh, we know each other, by the -" Sungwoon starts to say, pointing to Sooah, but then Jimin spots Sungwoon’s friend and waves to him, shaking his hand.

"We've been waiting for you," he tells him cheerfully. "This is -"

"Oh, Sooah, thank god."

There's a momentary pause where Jimin frowns curiously. The friend doesn't seem to notice, though. "Sorry we’re late, though. I'm Hyunjun, by the way,” he says, putting an arm around Sooah’s shoulders. “Thanks for keeping my date company.”

The song changes again, and in a hideous coincidence, the voice that comes out of the speaker is Jimin’s, sounding like he has the burdens of the world on his shoulders. Sooah freezes before looking up at him, already expecting the worst. He’s still staring at Hyunjun, and she sees his mouth move in the words “What did you say?” but with no sound, or so softly that it can’t be heard over the music.

“Yeah, they interned at an event planning company last year. We met at Jiwon’s party, right?” Sungwoon asks, apparently noticing nothing as well, pointing to Sooah curiously.

She only nods, though, eyes still on Jimin. His jaw is sharper than ever and there’s a way in which he purses his lips that reminds her of just what his temper can be. 

“You know, I think I just spotted someone, just before you came,” he says abruptly, turning to Sungwoon. “I think she was hitting on me earlier. Think I’ll go make sure.” Without waiting for a response, he downs the rest of his drink in one go, nods at his friend and starts to walk away.

Sooah sighs. “Jimin -”

But he simply sweeps past her as though he hasn’t heard her. He forces his way through the crowd, the music thumping in his bones, the alcohol swimming in his brain, and his chest feeling like there’s someone sitting on it. The crowd suddenly goes “Fake love!” along with the music and he winces; his only goal is to find Jia, the cute girl who was discussing anime with him earlier in the evening before everything went to shit.

But he can’t quite conjure up her face in his mind. Short hair, blond, most likely… she was wearing pink or purple, or it could’ve been blue… he can remember a locket of some kind, with a thin black choker over a cherry red tank top, nipples erect in the cold…

“Excuse me!” Someone bumps into him and Jimin finds himself in the kitchen, somehow next to the refrigerator. Throwing the door open, he picks out a beer, bites the bottle cap off and takes a long swig, welcoming the stinging cold after the disgusting vodka. He backs up towards the pantry; the kitchen is much emptier than before, the downside of which soon becomes apparent.

“Jimin!”

“Go back to your date,” he says flatly, without even turning around. He doesn’t expect her to listen, however; in a typical move, she grabs his arm and forces him to look at her, panting slightly like she’s hurried through the party to find him.

“Just listen to -”

“I don’t care, Sooah. It was just a quick fuck, it didn’t mean anything.”

She scoffs, her eyebrows turning down in a scowl. “Yeah, I’m not surprised,” she says, and Jimin struggles to locate the sarcasm in her words. “Listen, I didn’t do anything wrong, okay? We’re not dating.”

“So you fucked me while you’re with someone else?” Jimin chuckles without humour. “Classy as ever, Sooah.”

Sooah is silent for a moment, as though reconsidering her next words. “Yeah, except it’s no different than three years ago, when you got a blowjob from that dolled-up idol at Jungkook’s birthday party,” she spits, the words tumbling out as though she’s been bottling them up since. “And you explicitly said we were nothing. And you wonder why I didn’t call you when I went to Busan the next year?”

“That’s different,” he says dismissively, his cheeks burning - but from the alcohol or her words, he’s unsure.

“Oh, please. You didn’t even tell me about it. If Jungkook hadn’t opened his big mouth and let it slip, I would never have known.”

“Why the fuck did you even care?” Jimin snaps suddenly. “You were with Daehyun at the time, if I remember correctly.”

“Fucking hell, Jimin. Not this again. You know we never dated.”

“I know that’s what you told me.”

“You saw us together in one coffee shop, one time. Four years ago,” she adds, unable to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

“So you’re telling me, through four whole years of high school, you never once -”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you. And I think you’d remember since for nearly two of those years, I was dating you.”

“Oh, thank you, Kim Sooah, for noticing someone outside your popular little bubble,” he says sarcastically, ignoring how her eyes widen. “I must have really scored when you decided I was worthy of your attention.”

“God, I can’t -” She breaks off, apparently speechless. “Tell me, Jimin. When did I “score”, huh?” she asks, putting air quotes around the word. “Was it a couple of years later, when you debuted and became famous and decided your plain old - oh, what was the word you used? It was something -”

“Sooah -”

“Oh, right! When your “normal person pretty” girlfriend wouldn’t cut it anymore?” She looks livid now, and somewhere in the back of his swimming mind, he finds himself disappointed that it took them less than a night to dissolve into an argument again. “I must have really scored when you decided to drop me that carefully worded break-up text.”

Jimin exhales through his nose, his heart thudding. “I never said that, Sooah. That’s not how I meant it, at least. And that was five years ago! How are you still holding onto that?”

“How are you still holding onto Daehyun? That was an even longer time ago and nothing even happened!”

“You really were just bored, weren’t you?” he asks, ignoring her and shaking his head. “Just whiling away time with me in the back of my car until your date got here?”

Sooah scoffs again. “Maybe I was. And it was only somewhat worth my time,” she adds snarkily.

“Really? My car seat would say otherwise,” he replies, tilting his head, presumably in the direction of the parking lot. He takes a step towards her, his gaze involuntarily flickering down to her chest. “I made you cum twice, Sooah. Can your date do that?”

Her cheeks flush, only partly out of embarrassment. “Guess we’ll find out,” she murmurs, taking a step back and exiting the kitchen.

Jimin watches her leave, feeling a myriad of emotions that only Kim Sooah is capable of inspiring in him. When they’d been in his car, just before he’d entered her, there had been a moment, just a moment where he’d felt like he was watching them from a third person’s point of view.

Seventeen year old Jimin wouldn’t have believed it, that Kim Sooah would be here, underneath him, resplendent in red as she gazed up at him, longed for him. The way she looked at him, though… it tugged at his heart how familiar it was, despite everything else that had changed - or hadn’t changed. 

But then her date arrived, whatever his name was. Jimin can only describe the feeling as akin to feeling a door close somewhere, one he wasn’t even aware was open. The door turns see-through, a vision of Sooah on the other side, surrounded by all the people in her life that he doesn’t know because he’s no longer in it. Suddenly, he feels incredibly stupid for not considering that she might be with someone, that he would be the first person she would see. It’s always the quiet ones.

“Fuck that,” he mutters angrily, slamming the half-empty beer bottle on the kitchen counter and striding out, determined to find Jia. The crowd seems to have multiplied by the time he reaches the living room again, an Epik High song making everyone dance, whether or not they mean to. He moves automatically to the beat, unable to spot Jia anywhere - or unable to identify her, in any case. Another girl smiles at him, however, a taller one with a face like Tiffany Hwang’s, with blue dye at the end of her hair. She’s holding a plastic cup with dark liquid inside it, and Jimin makes a beeline for her.

You know I’m a shit dancer.

This one’s not, though, Jimin decides. Yujin, her name is, or something similar - the music is too loud to tell for certain. But she’s a good dancer, even in heels, tugging at his jacket just the right amount to be flirty, swaying her hips just enough to be teasing. He doesn’t know how long he’s on the floor with her; she doesn’t seem to be getting tired and whoever is in charge of the music is doing their job right. It’s been a long time since he’s danced with a girl this good, he thinks absently. It’s an English song playing now, some rap song, but he can’t think for the life of him who it’s by.

“Hobi hyung would know,” he says, sure of it.

“What?”

Jimin shakes his head. “You’re a good dancer,” he tells her, speaking louder over the music.

She grins. “So are you,” she says, looking up at him in a way that makes it clear that she recognises him. “Think you can give me a few more tips later?”

He grins back, suddenly spotting red behind her, and his heart skips a beat. “Maybe later,” he says absently, realising only now that he’d been looking for her at all. She’s still standing with Sungwoon and that idiot date of hers, and they’ve been joined by the two people he’d met earlier, Jihoon and Jasmine. The latter is standing with her back to Jimin; he watches Sooah, begrudgingly transfixed, as she nods at something Jasmine is saying. He can’t fathom what they might be talking about, just that Sooah looks mildly amused as she swings her glass lightly by her wrist. Then, suddenly and without warning, she grins and Jimin is blinded.

His stomach jolts when her date turns at the sound of her laugh and takes her hand. To Jimin’s immense irritation, he smiles and says something before walking towards the dance floor. Sooah shakes her head and pulls her hand back, immediately and clearly declining. Her date visibly insists, bopping on the spot and looking ridiculous in a transparent attempt to get her to dance, possibly reasoning that he’s just as bad as she is.

She continues declining, though, until the date finally gives up, looking a bit put off. Jimin’s stomach settles, not twisting anymore but not fully comfortable either. Her date would never know, he decides in a strange combination of pride and sadness. He would never fully know Sooah. Not like I used to.

He untangles himself from Yujin, suddenly tired, and heads back outside to the same steps they were sitting at. A low, weary voice at the back of his head sighs. Any minute now. 

But five minutes pass and he’s still sitting by himself, arms folded on his knees, chin resting on his forearms. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but he supposes he has no right to refuse it, just like he has no right to be angry with her for her omission of detail. Jimin closes his eyes, wondering for the first time in hours just what he’s doing at this stupid party.

“Could you be more dramatic?”

Jimin stops himself from turning even as his stomach leaps. “Are you following me or something?”

“You wish.” When he doesn’t respond, Sooah speaks again. “My allergies started acting up inside again,” she says. From the corner of his eye, he sees her move to stand next to wear he’s sitting, but she doesn’t join him on the steps. Her light blue denim clad legs stand beside him, and he remembers for a split second how they were wrapped around his waist an hour ago. 

“We’re leaving,” she says, pausing abruptly. He’s guessing she’s cringing - because he certainly is - but he no longer has the energy to comment on it. “Just wanted to say bye.”

“Bye, then.”

She doesn’t move, though, and he’s determined not to look up at her. He wonders, vaguely, who’s going to text whom first this time after tonight, and he decides it’s not going to be him. Not a chance.

“For god’s sake, Jimin,” she mutters in a low voice, and he can practically hear her rolling her eyes. “I’m not dating Hyunjun, alright?”

The night feels a degree warmer than it was a moment ago. He swallows. “What, so he was lying?”

“No. He…” She sighs, sounding just as tired as him. “There was a bet among a few of us about the hockey match last weekend and… long story short, I lost it. To Hyunjun.” She pauses. “I’m not dating him… or anyone else.” As she finally walks away, she adds one last detail - and this time she’s definitely rolling her eyes. “Not even Daehyun.” 

Just like that, the door cracks open again.

—

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