#the banter is better than the sex tho

[ecstarry]

i'm here to let u guys know that toxic exes jegulus who end up fucking after regulus leaves a date to go pick up james from a bar is on it's way

update: here babes

[cu7ie]

big bro satoru ! ୨୧ — see: virgin killer, cherry popper — mdni!

( ˶ᵔᴗᵔ˶ ) — cw. perv!gojo, alcohol consumption (you're both drunk-ish). reader's a virgin. just some casual headcanons. pornography viewing! voyeuristic reader (sorta.) drabble at the end. vagina having reader.

imagine hanging around with your friend and they offhandedly mention they have an older brother. they don't talk about family much but he sounds just as cool as he actually is when you finally meet him.

you're out of highschool and you still don't have much experience with relationships. your friend on the other hand has had tons, and sometimes they're giving you lengthy talks about their past relationships or inadequate sex life and you just smile and nod through it luv. 

on the inside you're burning up! they tell you the raunchiest shit with no filter or padding, your virgin baby brain has grown ten sizes bigger with knowledge you honestly have no business knowing. 

leaves you all hot and bothered, grappling with these new feelings - maybe a desire to try it out for yourself? you shake your head. as of now, it’s not like you have many prospects.

you’re a stranger in college. nobody knows your name, and your bestie is only your bestie because they practically forced themselves into your socially inept arms.

so you put a pin in it, for the time being.

gojo only comes into the picture because your friend invited you to hang out with them both, and gojo didn't mind you in his house, so boom:

you guys are chatting. and siblings being siblings they have inside jokes and banter you can only laugh at!! then you're trying to contribute, but the conversation just takes the strangest turn .

your friend starts talking about their ain't shit ass boyfriend (again, they always do this) and gojo is a supportive sibling, so they take turns tearing the dude to shreds.

you can only quietly wonder why she’s still dating the guy, anyway.

you guys are passing drinks around at this point, and your friend , verrry tipsy, starts getting a little … provocative with the complaints. slurring their words, they look you in your eyes and just starts rambling.

"shrimp dick," , "can't fuck worth a damn", "shit head-giving ass"

gojo's mostly overhearing, but responds to everything she says. he’s just like: “can't relate. that’s soooo crazy. could never be me tho!” 

irritated by his interruption, more than a little drunk, they start to bicker.

friend: "nobody cares about your dick satoru!"

gojo: "hey hey maybe your friend does!!!  … been side-eyeing me all night."

!!!! the way your head snaps to look at him !!!!

because you did, but you didn't think he'd notice!

and plus it's not like that ?!! he's just very handsome man ,,

he is very pretty .....

but he really made you nervous !! you're all hot in the face and it's not cause of the alcohol and your friend is making a face at you now, a little dramatic disappointment curving their lip and it's just like,

bff: ew?? right in front of me????

you'd hide in your drink if you could.

you: uh n-no i wasn'- it’s not like that!

they don’t believe you, just roll their eyes and say:

bff: i know you don't get any but like??  calm down lol there's more fish in the sea, get out of your little pond, babes.

and you're embarrassed and can't come up with anything witty in response so you just lower your head and sip your drink while they just fall back into banter.

you guys end up watching a movie. 

your friend drank too much and ended up falling asleep! you're a little tired but gojo's wide awake and maybe he's drunker than you thought because he's slurring a lil.

gojo: heyyyy, pst

he slides a little closer to you, beer bottle in hand. wraps his arm around your shoulder and the contact jolts you out of any sleep you could have been having.

you: wah?

gojo: i said -

you: i heard you ... what did u want ??

he leans into your ear and whispers in it.

"i got a movie for you. way better than this shit they put on .. check it"

and you expect him to pick up the remote but he just fishes out his phone and pulls up a video from his gallery , and it looks blurry at first, but the camera comes into focus and,

your breath hitches.

it's a video taken of gojo, nose deep in some pussy. 

the video is taken by someone else clearly, his head in between their thighs just slurping up on that clit - it's so slick and wet and squishy and the audio isn't down so you are a few feet away from your friend on the couch , who's knocked

and you're just watching this, wide eyed and clutching onto this pillow for emotional support and gojo's hand on your shoulder feels heavier

you: hhhh satoru-san, i don't think i should be seeing this ... isn't it a little private ?

little is an understatement

gojo: well i don't mind showing if you don't mind watching ; )

you: ....okay

you whisper as you sink further into the chair.

he's showing you multiple videos.

there one where it's not his face - it's a girl's, about your age maybe - but he makes sure to point out that it is, in fact, his penis going into her mouth. it's so big she's tearing up. what you think is mascara follows tracks on her cheeks and you gasp at how sloppy the ordeal is. you wonder how she's even breathing.

then there's another one, where he's bouncing them on his cock so good they're crying, 

"deeper, deeper! harder - fuck!"

and that’s when you put your hand up to the phone and your cheeks are so hot they're numb. you feel like a voyeur !!! and you don't know if you enjoy it or are just shocked but something's getting to you !

gojo just points to the video , looks at you and says

"i think you'd look good in these kinds of movies. i think you're real pretty ..... n' well.... i'd fuck you."

and he giggles and pats your head and you're gaping like ???!!!!!????? satoru-san why are you speaking to me like that! 

you: "satoru - san. i .. i think you're handsome too but i don't ... i'm not ... "

gojo pulls your body closer to his, you're touching his torso with yours and

gojo: i really like the way you say my name. it's... kinda turning me on 

and you don't pull away when he grabs your hands and one onto his crotch, wraps your fingers around him until you’re cupping his balls and your thumb is grazing his clothed cock.

he's so annoying actually 😭

like satoru is cute !! you've told him as much several times !!

but your hand slowly traveling up hard cock is too too too much!

you: satoru-san! i've never umm.. really done something like this before ? please. we shouldn't, n-not here anyway.

gojo: we head up to my room ?

you: satoru-san ..... that's not what i meant..

but he's already picking you up easily and carrying you down the hall despite the little squeak of protest you offer!

he mentions something about being glad to "pop your cherry"

gojo: she's always on and on about how you've never had a boyfriend,,, ssssweird but that probably means you've never been fucked either right ???

you sputter and flush, satoru’s grin nearly reaching his ears as you tremble but don’t struggle in his grasp.

you: that's none of your business!! seriously what is -

he pushes his door open and you're cut off by him tossing you onto his bed, fumbling with his lamp until he remembers how to turn it on. 

your back hits his mattress and you sink into it immediately. satoru’s room is cool, but the situation at hand ensures that his decor is the last thing you’re interested in. the warm orange lamp light fades out the jewel tones of the night’s shadow, though gojo’s silhouette cuts into the brightness and for a moment his presence takes your breath away.

you feel like a mouse caught in cat’s teeth. “i know about your type.” the way he curves his words makes your ears perk up, your elbows propping your body up as you retort, “and what could you possibly know ‘bout m-me….?” your voice trails off as satoru clambers into bed beside you, overtaken by impossibly soft sheets, stare directed right at you.

“you wanna fuck. i know that look from a mile off. lucky for you, i can help you get off." he whispers in your ear, and you feel your pussy clench down on absolutely nothing. his hand brushes against your thigh and you quiver.

"hnn." you make a noise of indecision, the arousal pooling in your panties feels sticky and irritating, and satoru - the tease - stills his hand on your leg, and feels along your tummy instead.

"oooh."

"you like that baby?" he's disarmingly charming, coaxing you out of slumber into your grand sexual awakening.  "um.. i.." satoru pauses.

he mutters. "go on… use your words, precious." 

your resolve escapes you at satoru's teasing. he's already so experienced - his .. aptitude makes you confident that he'd treat you well, there's no reason why you shouldn't …

just be a little selfish.

"c-can we kiss?" gojo laughs a little softer than you're used to.

"what's so funny? i just want to-" satoru flips you onto him, gripping your hips and adjusting you so you comfortably lay atop his. 

"s'not funny, really. you're just as cute as i thought you'd be, though. wet pussy and all and you still just 'wanna kiss'." his second laugh is heartier, but not loud.

"watchu waiting for then?" he grins cheekily and you body grows frustrated. it's too hot in here.

 your hands are curled onto his chest, your head close enough to his that you can smell the alcohol on your breath - he could probably smell it on you, too - but you don't care.

he's hard beneath you. you feel his cock pressing into your ass and he uses his big hand to squish you against him. 

your cheeks burn.  "kiss me-"

your lips press to him with a fervent need. your inexperience is cute to him, so he lets you take the lead. you have spirit, the ambition of a slut - but no skill. you squeak and moan a little nervously as he deepens the kiss, his hands cupping your ass gently as he starts to play with it. he palms the fat in his hands and nips your lower lip before you pull back to catch your breath.

your body is hidden under your clothes and it makes gojo suck his teeth, trying to ascertain with his hands instead, those curves and planes of your body, starting at your hips and moving up. a whine gets caught in your throat as his hand creeps beneath your shirt and you realize just how cold he is.

"satoru!" you jolt, feel your nipples grow diamond tough in response.

"hush hush. they're still asleep, n' as far as they know, you were coming onto meee…" you look down at him, pupils blown and mouth parted and lips slick.

"you're a pervert, satoru-san. i-i'd tell them as much." satoru laughs louder and you can't be convinced he's not doing it on purpose, now.  your positions shift again.

you yelp as he flips you over suddenly once more, your back hitting a velvet duvet and your head gracing the soft, cool top of his pillow, your breathing more labored that it had been before. 

he whispers. "let me eat you out." he's already weaseled his way between your thighs, looking at your shorts like the idea of them offends him. "these shorts make ya ass look fat. but skirts are easier access. you ever wanna have a quickie again, take notes." he's already peeling them from your thighs, infernal heat pouring off you in waves. your panties follow in short order.

"oh wow." satoru's excitement renews unbidden, getting up close and personal with the pretty petals between your thighs and licking his lips like it's his last meal on earth.

you feel your nerves prickle. an uncertainty that pervades your chest cavity makes an uncomfortable heat rise. you can feel his every breath. your pussy throbs like it's your heart and for a moment, your unsettled. "hey!"

you clasp your hands over your mouth and satoru's eyes slowly drift up. "s-sorry. didn't mean to-"

"yell? 's fine. you still want me to keep going?" 

he looks unreal like this.

his hair sticks to his forehead a bit, swear dewing on his temple as he shudders and huffs, basking in this smell of you. is it sweet? his lip curls in hunger, and you know every instinct in him is primed to eat.

your hands find themselves tangled in his hair. you fold your fingers between the strands, flipping it up and out of his face. "yessss. please. i need this." you beg, and he gives in without ceremony.

the sensation is tantalizing. he curls his tongue in between your folds, gathering your slick on the tip of it. he groans, spreads your thighs wider so he can bury his whole face in your box.

first, it makes your spine twitch and your toes curl - the feeling so intense that your body wants to rip you away from it. your back arches; his lips wrap around your clit and you whine as he starts suckling on you. the sound of wet lips on wet pussy is obscene.

he slurps loudly, eagerly, not even paying mind to how quickly you've fallen apart in his arms. 

any mess he makes, he cleans up with his tongue. he laves the muscle over your precious pussy, teasing you with how deep he can go into the fold. 

you never noticed his tongue was so long. 

you're soaked. there's something coming - and you,

yelp just then, feeling the barest sensation of teeth against your cunt. "s-satoru!" (he chuckles into your muff and the sensation makes you groan.)

 even distracted, you can feel it. just stronger now. a coiled snake in the depths of you, beautiful and aching and eager to be free.

you've masturbated before - er, tried it. you're just a little awkward on your own, and it's never felt anywhere near this. incomparable in every sense of the word.

you didn't even realize you closed your eyes until you hear gojo say, "you squirt?"

the whole of your face burns. "i.." you're searching for breath you didn't notice you lost.

you shake your head. "i dunno-" 

"well, let's see." his hand leaves your thigh, and the pad of his thumb presses onto your clit molasses slow. the way he pushes and tugs at the nub nearly makes you cum on the spot.

your moan is broken and cracks, and you're too far gone to be embarrassed to ask for more. "you … are we going to h-have-" sex, is what you were going to say, but satoru interrupts, tearing his eyes away from your slick cunny.

"just say fuck. 'are you gonna fuck me'?" he mimics the lilt of your voice faithfully. "say it." he goads, urges you even, massaging your cute clit with his thumb. 

"a-are… are you gonna fuck me?" you mewl, and gojo's ministrations ease up. you don't know if you want to cry out in relief or desperation. your whole body feels like its throbbing. you need this so, so bad…

a mischievous glint in satoru's eye appears, sudden. you bite your lip.

"say my name." you don't hesitate.

"satoru-saaaan." gojo's breath catches. then he laughs at you. a question settles on your tongue - what's so funny - but you're shuddering and don't have a mouth to speak.

great thing that Satoru's observant.

"you're tryna be here all night, clearly." 

[buckysgrace]

okay hear me out pls, or u can ignore me forever…but what about gator comforting the reader (she’s 21 tho and in secret relationship with gator for months now) about her spring allergies causing her insomnia and her stuffy nose driving her insane all day but he takes care of her? maybe he makes her feel good even down there with his mouth bc he knows it helps her sleep hehe and she literally falls asleep but he’s gentle (bc she’s still sore from last night) while he eats her out and is holding his hand? <3 love ur writing sm, keep up ur work ^^

CW: Oral sex <3

Hope you enjoy!

“What’s wrong with you?” He questioned, watching the way you dramatically threw yourself back on the bed. You grumbled, your head pounding and nose stuffed full of tissues. You’d done nothing but suffer the past few days, unable to sleep and forced to live with the constant ringing behind your eyes.

“Allergies,” You whined as you held you hands out, watching the way he crossed your room slowly, “I feel terrible.” You grumbled as you blew your nose again, then tossed the tissues into the trash can. Your body was aching, sore from how your cold was affecting you. 

“You look pretty funny too.” He commented teasingly, grinning as he looked down at you. You were surprised that he’d come by at all, knowing that there wasn’t much that you’d actually be able to do. You didn’t want him to deal with you coughing and sneezing anywhere either. 

“Thanks,” You said dryly, but felt a smile forming against the corner of your lips, “I thought you couldn’t come by?” You watched as he shrugged his jacket off and sat it on one of your dressers. Spring had rolled around, but there was still a light dusting of snow still leftover from the last storm. 

“I can always sneak away for you,” He grinned as he sat at the edge of your bed, brushing his fingers across your cheek, “You still can’t sleep?” He questioned you softer this time, sounding concerned as you rested your cheek against his palm. 

“No,” You moaned pitifully before you sighed deeply, desperately feeling the need to fill your lungs with air, “I start to fall asleep but then I wake up to sneeze or cough or just because I can’t breathe.” You were truly in misery. 

“Poor baby,” He mocked as he pouted his eyes out, his tongue condescending yet his eyes told a different story. They were soft, gentle and full of worry. It made you a little nervous as you crept deeper into your sheets, “What are we going to do to fix that?”

“Don’t know,” You said softly, smiling at the way he rubbed his thumb across your hip, “I’ve tried everything.” You drew out playfully, sighing deeply as you looked at him again. You really enjoyed the look that grew in his eyes, how sometimes you swore you could see just how much he cared for you. Even if he didn’t admit it yet. 

“Everything?” He questioned as he tilted his head, raising his eyebrows like he knew more than you. You grinned in response, enjoying his little banter. He really did make you feel better, even without really trying.

“Mhm,” You nodded along, “Just about. I think I’m just forced to suffer.” You rested your hand on your head playfully, feigning dramatics as he chuckled softly. He shifted a little closer to you, beginning to move his legs underneath your own. 

“Maybe I can help?” He suggested as he pulled the blankets off of you, making you shiver in response. You watched him curiously as he pulled your legs apart, settling between them. 

“What have you got in mind?” You asked him curiously as you sat up on your elbows, doing your best to keep from sneezing everywhere. He pressed down on your hips slowly, making you settle back against the mattress. 

“Just relax,” He mumbled as he looped his fingers through the band of your pajama pants. He slowly tugged them down your thighs, his eyes hazy as he drank in the image of your skin. You still felt nervous sometimes with how intensely he watched you, like he was memorizing every inch of you, “I’ll take good care of you, mama.” He promised sweetly, his lips curling into a smirk.

He dipped between your thighs dragging his lips against your smooth skin as he inhaled the scent of you. It made you quiver, goosebumps forming on your skin as he slowly pressed his mouth against your panties. 

You breathed out slowly, your lungs filling with much needed air as he flicked his tongue out against your clothed cunt. You whimpered in response, your clit tingling with desire as he messily licked across your panties.

“Gator,” You whispered softly, moaning as your hips jerked in anticipation, “Please. Don’t tease me.” You begged softly as you brushed your fingers across the top of his head, knowing that he liked to have his hair played with despite his protests. 

“Alright,” He mumbled as he placed a few more kisses against your panties, “Only because you don’t feel good.” He added, giving you a knowing look as he began to tug the material down your thighs. He kissed at one knee, bringing it up as he slowly slid one ankle out of them.

He dragged his lips teasingly across your cunt, flicking his tongue against your sensitive clit to make your hips jerk forward again. You sighed blissfully, your headache and stuffy nose forgotten as he dragged his tongue across your clit.

His mouth was warm and wet, sloppy as he curled his tongue through your folds. He licked away your slick, inhaling the taste of you as he gripped the back of your thighs. He squeezed softly, like he was trying to keep from digging his fingertips into your flesh.

He wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking softly as you felt a wave of pleasure crash over you. You rolled your hips slowly, whimpering and whining as he began to languidly flick his tongue across your sensitive bud. Your toes curled in awe as moans rolled off of your tongue, filling the room in a loud melody. 

He groaned against your cunt, his desperation evident by the way he continued to drag his mouth against your wet folds. He played with your clit, continuing to flick his tongue against it in the manner that you licked.

He spread your legs further, exposing you further to him as he moved his mouth downwards. He dragged his tongue across your hole, teasing you as he slowly slid his tongue inside of your spongy walls. You gasped as you stretched around him, inviting him inside as he licked at your cunt.

“Jesus, Gator,” You moaned as your fingers tangled into the back of his hair, tugging him closer as you began to rock your hips forward more frantically. His nose began to brush against your clit, digging into you as he curled his tongue deeper inside of you, “Oh my God!” You squealed, your lungs straining as the pleasure crashed over you.

Your clit was throbbing as he continued to flick his tongue inside of your walls, licking away your slick as his nose dug into your clit. Everything felt too good as you rocked yourself against his face, not caring how messy you made him. 

The pleasure crashed over you, cracking inside of you as you came with a loud cry. Your fingers tightened in his hair, pulling him closer as you felt the waves rocking through your body. He whined from underneath you, his hips pressing into the mattress as he held onto your thighs tightly. It burnt a little bit, but in a good way. In a way you craved.

“Fuck,” He groaned as he slowly came up for air, but continued to kiss along your sensitive pussy. His eyes were glazed over as he met your gaze, his face coated in your slick, “Your little tang tastes so good for me. You’re such a good girl.” He praised, making your chest warm at the way he softly dragged his fingers up your thighs.

You settled back against the pillows, heart hammering roughly as he slowly took the courtesy of cleaning you up. You giggled softly, legs pulling together before he slid your panties and pants back over your legs. You watched as he leant over you, crowding you into the mattress as he brushed his thumb against your nose.

“I’ll warm you up some soup,” He suggested at last as he pulled his lips into the softest grin, “Then maybe you can repay me later.” He mumbled as he bent over to kiss the corners of your lips. You smiled at the idea, lucky that you had someone like him. 

[judeswhore]

u and bsf!jude always arguing and bantering over the most stupid stuff cus that’s what u do. and some how u got into the topic of sex and u just randomly started arguing about who’s better at sex, and ur just telling him “i can make you cum in less than a minute” and he’s just arguing in back saying “i’ll have you screaming my name in seconds” and ofc it ends up with u two fucking and it’s just fire on fire and both of u end up having the best orgasm of ur life but non of u wanna admit it to one another.

-🚀

this argument wld 100% lead to the best sex ever bc u both wna prove the other wrong no matter how hard it is. so jude’s eating u out and ur refusing to moan bc u don’t wna give him the satisfaction but it has him working even harder bc he will get u to make some sort of noise. stopping him before he can make u cum tho bc he’s not really playing fair when u cant do anything to him and ur shifting to pin him to the mattress bc u want control and that alone has jude half losing his mind bc it’s so hot to him but he’s determined not to let u win. but ur mean and this is one of his favourite positions bc he loves to see ur boobs and loves when u take full control of him and he’s kinda worried he is gna cum in less than a minute. teasing him the way he did u, playing w ur boobs and clit bc u know it’ll drive him insane and it 100% does so it doesn’t take him long to huff out a curse and flip u over, pinning u to the mattress so he can fuck u how he wants all “fine, u win, now let me hear those pretty little moans” bc it’s killing him how quiet ur being

[chejuu]

20 questions for writers

thank you @wingdingery for the tag and excuse to self-indulgently talk about myself <3

1. how many works do you have on AO3? 17 on cheju, then 11 more on my various and sundry accounts 🫣

2. what's your total AO3 word count? 73,122 on cheju, a total of 110,145

3. what fandoms do you write for? nightwing + some original work as of late + various fandoms i used to be in that people request in fic exchanges

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos? like two days ago bad desire just surpassed the kudos of a ten-year-old sansa/margaery fic i published on my old account. wow! please ignore that i was writing smut at 16

setting aside my other accounts, then it’s diesis (smut), listen to teeth (smut), sex, lies, and audiotape (mafia au. also smut), and exactly what it looks like (silly identity porn crack)

5. do you respond to comments? always!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? down together leaves it open but probably fits the bill, in that the sex makes things significantly worse between slade and dick

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Rescued Slut Thanks His Studly Savior is established relationship sladick fluff (if pure smut can be fluff i guess) which i thought i would never write so maybe that. or better now, but it's about theater camp (2023) which is already a feel-good comedy movie to begin with

8. do you get hate on fics? not yet. i feel like it's a rite of passage, tho. quick someone send me hate

9. do you write smut? If so, what kind? it’s like... all i do

10. do you write crossovers? no, but never saying never!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? nope

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? i think i’d be too embarrassed

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? gotta be drarry (sorry sladick)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will? i plan to finish all my wips eventually, even the unpublished ones! at least any that have made it out of the notes app and into a word doc. the only one that maaay not make it is a recursive fic (author permission granted!) based on a popular sladick story—i’m a bit nervous about not living up to the original 🙈

16. What are your writing strengths? character voice, i think, and banter in particular. sexual tension, smut. so i've been told!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i hardly write anything longer than a single scene, let alone more than one chapter. the one time i've given it an earnest go, i've gotten so caught up in the weeds that i haven't updated in months T_T

i'd also like to get better at atmosphere. not so much descriptions of the setting, more like... creating a distinctive tone through detail, metaphor, word choice. sometimes i feel like unless i'm writing a very particular setting, the tone is just. nonexistent?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i honestly have zero thoughts

19. First fandom you wrote for? harry potter when was 14. wow it even has an A/N and everything

20. Favourite fic you've written? i think it’s bad desire so i’m glad the people agree hahah 

-

tagging @lordwisteria @roipecheur @mattdillon @thesubtextis @ontheropesss !

[littledollll]

Can I please request a Lucifer X fallen angel reader?

R knew Luci in the silver city and they were both rivals (and flirted whilst doing so). They were constantly trying to prove they were the best until the day luci fell and r at the time thought this was their greatest victory and proved they were the best once and for all.

However it's been thousands of years and r has been bored out of their mind and honestly missed luci (but they'd never admit it) as nobody has annoyed or challenged them (or turned them on) as much as luci.

This leads to r acting out and eventually falling hoping they'd finally get to luci again and when they meet they start their flirty rivalry once again as r tries to ascend the ranks of hell to prove they'd be a better ruler.

They get to the top and luci requests r to join them in ruling hell which leads to r and luci having sex finally (they are both so pent up). R and luci are still fighting for dominance during it because these bitches cant just show the other their love.

Fallen stars

Rivals AND lovers; Lucifer Morningstar x fallenangel!reader

A/n: THIS TOOK ME SO LONG FOR WHAT! I’m so sorry. I like this tho, Idk if I love it but I sure hope you do! This request was absolutely delicious by the way.

Warnings: just sex ;-; ironically pretty vanilla for Lucifer, resolved sexual tension, happy ending, banter, teasing, Lucifer has a dick (I’m sorry)

✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦

There wasn’t a day you two didn’t spend in competition sure you could call it “healthy competition” but it was honestly obsessive. Nobody around you really knew how you felt about eachother, save for you٫ obviously .

You certainly acted like you hated eachother, constantly challenging one another and making a scene whenever one or the other won.

Of course were both extremely responsible and serious about your duties but when it came to you two being alone or having off time it was a constant battle of who could get on top.

You had undeniable chemistry. You could work together better than anyone else despite your constant bickering. You pushed eachother, every time you got too close to surpassing them they got further away only making you work harder.

See nobody could rival Gods favorite angel until you came along. They found it amusing how you made your way to the top and basically lived just to challenge them.

Then the fall happened. At first you were overjoyed. You won, finally you’re the one left standing, years of constant challenging and you came out on top.

After the first thousand years that joy turned into despair, it had you throughly confused. This is what you’ve been after your whole life, behind Samael- well Lucifer, at every step, and now they’re gone. You win.

So why aren’t you jumping with joy? You settled for convincing yourself you just needed competition, that made sense, you needed the motivation, that constant strive to be better and have somebody who challenges you.

You couldn’t possibly miss them. Their annoying smirk whenever things went their way, how their mood seemed to change from stonic to excited when you came around for another challenge. Alright maybe you did miss them. Just a little.

★★★★★★★★★

Never in a million years did you think your infatuation with them would lead to now.

“I knew it was only a matter of when we would meet again. You just had to chase after me, didn’t you?” Lucifer circled you like prey.

Your fall, your immediate rise in ranks since the moment you arrived in hell, it all made Lucifer delighted. Though Lucifer didn’t acknowledge your presence, not outwardly and certainly not with your knowledge. They silently lurked, watching your every move, every challenge.

They deemed you worthy to enter their kingdom, their castle. What a privilege, you thought. “Glad to see I succeeded in catching your attention.”

“Oh you’ve done plenty more than that, you’ve impressed me, you’ve proven yourself time and time again. Join me, dearest. I believe you and I could be truly unstoppable, side by side.”

You could cut the tension between you with a knife as you stepped closer to them, you looked up at them with a smirk on your face. “Are you stating a fact, or are you asking me?”

“You are unbelievably stubborn, you know quite well what I’m asking.” They rolled their eyes with a scoff. “And you are unbelievably prideful. Ask me, Lucifer.”

They didn’t, instead you were met with a kiss, one you quickly reciprocated. It was messy, a fight for dominance neither of you would willingly give in to.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★

One second you were standing together in the throne room and the next you were pinned against a bed. How did you get here? Were this their chambers? When the hell did you get undressed?

Really, you had no time to process it, Lucifer was all over you, hands running down the length of your body, kisses being littered anywhere they could reach, you could feel your skin bruising, the neediness that practically radiated off of them.

You moaned as they sucked on your pulse point, your hands ran down their back, nails marking them red, making a shiver run down their spine and you heard them groan right against your ear.

“Needy aren’t you? How long have you been waiting for this Lucifer? How long have you wanted me?” You could’ve sworn you heard them whine at your words.

One of their hands made its way between your thighs, pushing them apart so Lucifer could settle between them, you immediately spread your legs for them.

“You’re just as desperate as me, my sweet.” Lucifer pressed onto you so conveniently against your cunt with just the right amount of pressure. Now it was your turn to whine as you tried to roll your hips but were held down by their hands on your waist. “Ask me, pet.”

Asshole. Using your words against you.

Lucifer basked in your frustrated whimpers, as they refused you any pleasure until you asked. Of course you’d be too stubborn, just like them. There’s the reason you two go head to head constantly. Both too competitive to give in, this applied to everything you did, even now.

“I’m not going to beg you to touch me. Specially when you want to so badly. So come on, give in.” They did, albeit hesitantly.

Desire and need won over stubbornness. That doesn’t mean either of you would easily give up dominance. Leading you to pull them into the bed as you climbed on top.

You wasted no time. Mouth parted with a satisfied moan as you lowered yourself onto them. You leaned forward, hands supporting you on their shoulders as you grinding against them, getting used to the feeling and slowly picking up your pace.

Their hold on your waist resumed, but this time to assist you. You hissed when one of their hands trailed your neck teasingly before wrapping around it. Hips bucking to meet your own as their new hold on you made it easier for them to slam into you.

You cried out when their thumb pressed against your aching and neglected clit, thighs shaking and cunt clenching around them. With the added stimulation it was impossible to hold back yet you continued grinding your hips through your orgasm.

Lucifer had never been so lost for words. Reduced to broken moans and needy whimpers you never thought you’d have the pleasure of hearing. You rode them with vigor even as your body begged for a break. The grip they had on your hips was certain to leave you sore and bruised.

Ever the prideful being, Lucifer covered their unfiltered moans by pulling you down for a heated kiss. Their hips stuttered as they came with a groan.

There was silence, only interrupted by pants and the shuffling of the bedsheets as you dropped to lay on their side. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, more like processing. Eons of pinning after eachother, of challenging yet supporting one another. Eons of unresolved tension between the two of you seemingly lifted. And then they spoke.

“Join me, Im asking you to join 𝙢𝙚." You knew that. This wasn’t about the forces of hell or the power you’d have as rulers, it was about you and them. Who were you to deny when they finally put their pride aside enough to ask?

“Where else would I go if not with you?”

“Join me, Im asking you to join 𝙢𝙚." You knew that. This wasn’t about the forces of hell or the power you’d have as rulers, it was about you and them. Who were you to say no when they finally put their pride aside enough to ask?

“Where else would I go if not with you?”

[gothicbarbie]

BL's I'm Watching in December

(From favorite to least)

The Sign - God, I love this series. It has everything for me. BillyBabe have amazing chemistry and I love how their pairing is written. Hate to love is my favorite trope and they do it so well cuz it’s also laced with banter, flirtation and tension. You can see them genuinely falling for each other. And on top of that, we have a really interesting storyline with lots of questions and mystery. The production value of the series is super impressive too.

City Boy Log - Technically this isn’t a BL, but to me it counts. It’s scripted and centers around two BL pairings. I binged the whole thing in a day and loved it. The chemistry between the main duo is just so good and I love how bold the actors are. I also really like the simplicity of how it's filmed, it feels super natural. It’s a very fun watch and I would love to see them get an official series.

Playboyy the Series - Yes, this show has hot scenes (tho I find some more awkward than they are probably intended to be) but I like the series because of the overall storyline. There are a hell of a lot of characters and it can be a bit confusing but I think I am following it lol. I like quite a few of the pairings and plots that are happening and I def. want to know where the show is going to go. There are some great sex positive messages and discussion about consent that are really nice to see too.

Pit Babe - Really enjoying this series. It started very strong and while I find some storylines to be a bit draggy, it’s really fun to get an omega verse BL. I think they could do a bit more with it, but they seem to be slowly moving in that direction. Again, this series has an overall storyline arc that is mysterious and I’m curious to know where it’s headed. I also love the chemistry between Pavel and Pooh.

Last Twilight - I’m not as in love with this series as others seem to be but I still really enjoy it. It’s nice to see a series that sort of starts more with friendship that blossoms into something deeper and I find the plot of one character being the caretaker for the other to be very sweet and also unique. The scenes where JimmySea just touch hands are so powerful so I am loving their slow progression.

Breeze of Love - Binged this whole series in a night, and it was a great. Very fun watch. Weak kissing scene but sort of expected and it didn’t take away from the series much for me because I did like the chemistry of the main pair. I think some things could have been better but I liked it.

Twins the Series - This series can be dumb at times, and some storylines are a bit blasé but overall I am having a lot of fun watching it. I really like the chemistry between the main duo.

Destiny Seeker - This one ended a bit ago but I finally got a chance to watch the series and I loved it. Mostly for the main pairing who were so fun to watch. Have I mentioned I love hate to love pairings?

The Egoist (movie) - Not a series but a movie that I also finally got around to watching. I was loving it, at first. It was fantastic. The chemistry was great and the storyline hit hard. Hated the ending though, so a bit of a warning for anyone that is curious, if you don’t like unhappy endings, don’t watch lol.

My Story - Filo BL’s can be a bit cheesy at times and this one was no exception. I do think it started a bit better than it ended and I had to fastfoward quite a bit of the show, but I did like the chemistry between the pairings and enjoyed watching it.

Cooking Crush - Was unsure of this series at first, and I am not a big fan of cooking type shows, but I think this one is got a lot better starting with ep 2. I have always liked OffGun too and I am enjoying the cutesy moments and stuff at least. So we'll give it a chance to grow.

Unforgotten Night - An older series I am finally getting around to watching. Loved the first ep, then the next few were kind of bland. I didn’t hear great things about it, so we’ll see how it fits in at my end of year ranking (prob. will make the 2024 list tho since I am watching SLOW lol...) but I do really love the premise of the series. More friends with benefits type bl’s please!

The Day I Loved You - Another filo BL that I watched this month and it was quite enjoyable and cute. I liked the first half much better than the second half, it got a bit sad/depressing for me but I still think it was very well done and reminded me of a bit of heartstopper. Would def recommend people to check it out.

For Him - This one is okay, it doesn’t really have much of a point to me right now? lmao. But I think the sex scenes are well done and it’s holding my interest enough to keep watching.

Cherry Magic Thailand - I want to like this one, but something about it is just off for me. I like TayNew but am not in love with them and I think this version is a lot less cute and quirky like the original was. It just feels a bit awkward to me and I find Tay’s inner voice to be a bit silly? I wish it was more serious and sweet and less cringey lol. I also find New’s character to be a bit pathetic considering he is a 30 year old man… I understand it was following the OG SL, but again, I feel like that series just did everythin better lol…. But, I’ll give it a chance.

You Are Mine - This one was alright, I enjoyed parts of it, other parts I found kind of slow. It's def. not going to be an all-time favorite for me, but it was worth watching.

My Dear Gangster Oppa - Love Meen. Love the main duo’s chemistry, they feel natural together. Loved the first episode… but then, I just kinda stopped caring. The whole gangster/mob stuff just didn’t interest me and I found the overall plot of the main pairing to be a bit rushed. Wish they had built that up a tad more. But it was alright.

Brothers the Series - Another past BL that I’ve only seen a few eps of so far, so it’s hard to judge, but it’s okay so far. I do like the chemistry between the main pair and am curious to know where they are going to take things. But I am going very slow with this one.

Sahara Sensei to Toki-Kun - Only seen a few eps of this one and so far I’m, not really that into it. It’s okay and has some cute moments, but I don’t really like the chemistry between the main duo all that much, and I find it quite creepy he has a crush on a teacher tbh… But, we’ll see where it goes. Not one of Japan’s best imo.

VIP Only - This series is okay but I find it kind of boring. I like the main pairing okay, but I’m also not feeling the storyline that much, it’s just a bit bland to me.

7 Days Before Valentine - Sort of interesting premise and I like the chemistry between the angel dude and the main guy (if it’s even going to go there?) but there are some dumb/weird scenes and moments and the storyline is frustrating too. We’ll see what happens.

I Will Knock You - Older series I am finally attempting to skim through but it’s very meh. The chemistry is just okay. The plot is pretty boring. The main guy is a bit of an ass and hard to like right now but I also kinda like the banter? Maybe? IDK.

Middleman’s Love - Wanted to like this series because I like the characters and the chemistry but it’s just been dragging and dragging since ep 1. I didn't expect it to take this long for something to happen between the main two and the main character can be really annoying and frustrating and a bit TOO dramatic. They use him to be funny but he just comes off obnoxious? Bit of a bust for me. The series just doesn’t have a purpose...

Bake Me Please - Don’t like this series at all really. I don’t think the main couple has any chemistry. Ohm’s character is frankly annoying! And their relationship went from 0 to 60 in like 1 scene. I would just stop watching alll together, but it’s got so few episodes that I might as well just finish it.

Tie the Knot - This one is at the bottom cuz I barely remember what it was about but I just remember I skimmed the majority of it lol.

[1-800-suck-my-clit]

Testing my multifandomness, so here's a list of ships I support/enjoy and why

Most (damn near all) are ganna be MlM

Clegan (bucky x buck)

John is so love sick for gale you just have to ship them

Hannigraham (Hannibal x Will Graham)

They act like a married couple with Gothic scenes and inuendos

Bat jokes (Batman x Joker)

Idk man something abt villian and hero falling in love despite being the farthest of opposites. And I love their banter where Joker shamelessly flirts with him

Superbat (Batman x Superman / Bruce Wayne x Clark Kent)

Now ik what ur thinking "bat jokes AND superbat how scandalous😱" this one only really applies to their "citizen" forms. I love the rich sugar daddy and kind southern accent trope. Also them in their hero forms are also cute bc batman let's his guard down for him

Zosan (zoro x sanji)

Your honor they're married🙄

Hisoillu

They give off Doberman and black cat energy. And canonically they are married ‼️

Rathelstan (ragnar x athelstan)

The love I have for them hold no words so here are some quotes that made me wanna rip my heart out.

"What do you mean?! You cannot leave...you cannot leave me! I love you...and you're the only I can trust so you must stay"

"I always believed that death is a fate far better than life, for you will be reunited with lost loved ones. But we will never meet again, my friend. I have a feeling that your God might object to me visiting you in Heaven. What am I to do now?"

"I hate you for leaving me. I ache from your loss. There is nothing that can console me now. I am changed, so are you.”

Symbrock (Venom x Eddie)

HEAR ME OUT PLEASE...So um anyways

Spideypool (spiderman x deadpool)

Their banter in the comics is so cute

Soapghost(konig) (Soap x Ghost (x Konig) / Simon Riley x John McTavish (x Konig))

Got really into them when CoD started blowing up on my FYP last year

Patrochillies (Patrocles x Achilles)

Ganna cry I love them sm. "He is half of my soul as the poets say" 🤣🔪🩸

Eremika (Eren x Mikasa)

If u don't belive they are end game ur wrong abt everything🥱. Tho I belive in eremika being cannon I also ship EreJean (Eren x Jean) who's to say a Lil hate sex never hurt anyone 🤭

Jayvik (jayce x viktor)

Idk who I wanna be jayces girlfriend, his boyfriend, or him😩

BoKuro (Bokuto x Kuroo)

Himbos in love? Count me in. tho I do also ship them with their main ships aswell

NaruSasu (Naruto x Sasuke)

No one chases a man around for damn near a decade bc "We're best friends🥺" 😒

Last but not least

KiriBaku (kirishima x Bakugou)

I don't give one damn what ANYONE says they are literally end game. FUCK BAKUDEKU‼️‼️🗣 I need the firecracker and his leash‼️

Um thank u for listening to my Ted talk lol 🏃🏾‍♀️💨

[eideticmemory]

blurb about kinky spencer what do you feel about that like early seasons to late seasons what his into it ☝🏻💥

ik everyone has their ideas about spencer reid’s sexuality between ages ~18-24 and cm rly never says much about it BUT i’ve always imagined that during college/grad school and the early seasons spencer was actually very sexually confident. i don’t mean that as in he could see someone across the room and cruise them and take them home but i think he knew what he liked. he is beautiful, that’s obvious so i imagine that when he got onto a college campus and started getting validation from all these pretty girls and pretty guys that he was like “wait…..i actually kinda have sex appeal?” and that was good bc even tho he was super insecure and younger than his classmates he was still as horny as everyone else!!! im a bi spencer truther and i think his first sexual experience was with a man and i think he felt anxious about sex with women for a while. his first time she probably had to throw herself at him but his brain was just like ???? ok??? i think shes having a good time?? but?? she cant get a boner so i cant quite tell?? this is getting long i’m sorry 😭

but i think anatomy helped him a lot. it was something he could contextualize and i can see him looking up vagina diagrams or even watching porn to figure out What To Do. and as he becomes more sexually active he becomes very good at reading body language. fucking someone and thinking “ok their legs are shaking, thats good, thats a good sign. oh they’re breathing’s faster, better keep this up” but what he liked the most was just being spoken to. he liked verbal validation during sex very much, someone who would grab his hands and put them where they wanted bc he could figure out the rest from there. once he gets out of his head a little bit is when he starts becoming vocal himself. i imagine he got a lot of questions during sex like “ru ok? ru enjoying it?” bc he would just lay there and whimper quietly bc he was overthinking everything. then one time its so good that he forgets to think and he’s moaning like a whore and it finally clicks for him “oh wow it feels even better to just let it out. oh wow they like it when i let it out” i think his kink was just pleasing someone, being good and feeling good, being able to tell himself that he did good.

in the early seasons i think he enjoyed sex and the idea of being that close to someone. i think he was touch starved and craved intimacy and he seeks it less as the show goes on. his experiences at the bau (especially the anthrax case) encouraged his germaphobia and yeah he would still get horny but he struggled to find anyone whose touch didn’t gross him out. i think that was a struggle for him for a long time. then especially after maeve he was constantly chasing the touch of a woman he had never even seen or gotten to hug. it was weird to think about while grieving her but his mind and heart craved her so much through their relationship so his body did too. he thought one day he would let someone touch him. someone he loved! and then she died in front of him so that was shot to shit. he grieved sex he would never have. i would describe his kink here as “someone i love so much i’d die for it. they could have anthrax on their tongue and i’d kiss them just because its them.”

in the later seasons after cat adams and the prison arc, i think he loses a lot of his inhibitions. basically a revelation of “i don’t have the energy to ponder on what i like and who i like” bc he feels it instantly. the moment he makes eye contact with someone, he can feel it in his tummy that he would have sex with them if they wanted. and when he feels it he flirts with humor. there’s nothing he loves more than when he banters with someone cute, making them laugh and catching a sparkle in their eye. like if they can understand each other’s minds then surely they might understand each other’s bodies. in bed he’s superrr vocal but not necessarily dirty more like “do u wanna be on top? yes i want that to” “can i take your shirt off? thank you” and putting a titty in his mouth. “can i bend your legs back a little more? i just wanna get a little deeper. tell me if its uncomfortable though” a lot of “yeah yeah yeah” when he’s drowning in it and then looking down and saying “yeah? yeah? yeah?” bc at the end of the day he stills needs to know he’s doing good

[stepswowdsen]

【Magi】 JuAli Comic Idea (NSFW) 🖤❤️💛

(CW: NSFW)

(EDIT: I used to have this blog on priv, but I went off priv recently)

JuAli NSFW I wrote before 🖤 ❤️ 💛 This one's a lot longer than my usual ideas. The 1st half is SFW, but the 2nd half is NSFW. One of the dialogue scripts I wrote.

Oh yeah here's the JuAli NSFW comic idea I wrote if anyone wants to read it. I wrote this back in 2023, but I recently added to it, so I'll post it here

Warning: The 1st part is SFW, but the rest is NSFW so I'll put the rest under the cut.

There's also a lot of bickering and bantering, typical of JuAli. I always have a fun time writing for them <3 Wheeee!

It's still a WIP though so I put line breaks to mark transitions to different scenes (or as reminders for myself for which scenes I need to add to)

Ok guys if I'm basically planning to post KuroEne sex at some point, then that means it's free real estate for me to post LimGuda, XanLena, IdaTatsu, and JuAli sex, right

I'll put the warning whenever I do it, though. Fair warning tho. This one's more explicit. 95% of my ideas are my ships are SFW actually, but it is fun to write NSFW on the side and explore ship intimacy ^^

As you can tell, after the several months hiatus due to me being busy with school, I'm trying to get better at posting here!!! My timezone is currently EDT in Canada's summers, I tend to schedule posts to post around 7 ~ 9 PM (EDT)

It's a lil annoying how limited priv Tumblr blogs are... Even Insta and Twt priv accs let you like posts and don't require a PW to unlock. But it's a good archive for me.

Rambles

I'll be honest, my NSFW ideas are so vanilla and tame, and heavy on dialogue. That's how I want it to be. I hate the majority of qorn and qorn tropes cuz a lot of mainstream qorn is so (trans) misogynistic and thoughtless and violent. It lacks intimacy.

If I were to draw this out, there'd be a huge focus on expressions and dialogue... Oh and it'd be clothed intimacy/sex cuz I prefer it that way

As an ace person, I want my NSFW and qorn to be more artistic and focus on intimacy, including emotional intimacy. Like, qorn is fine too, but it needs to be. Not for the purpose of feeding an incel, obviously.

In general, I'm soooo picky with NSFW

It's fine if my faves explore kink and power dynamics/control in the bedroom, but I want it to be imbued with my tastes. And my aesthetic tastes.

I'm bi sapphic and not really sexually attracted to men, so I see all my masc faves (including meow meow mf faves) as my sons.

In general, I think clothed intimacy and subtle eroticism (ie. hands slipping into clothes) is hottest and I prefer it honestly. If I were to draw NSFW (hopefully one day, I need to get better at it tho), this is what you'd mainly see from me.

Even if it'd be highly impractical IRL, I love how intimacy looks with the flow of clothes more. Though ofc there's a lot of great artistic nudity too <3

Oh and the part where he's lying on the bed after... I imagined it like, Judar takes off his outer most clothes (the black and red Ruqun and Daxiushan) and wears the white hanfu undergarments underneath

You can read more about it here!

Ziseviolet is a great queer friendly hanfu blog and resource for hanfu refs and informative posts~

Rambles with Friends

Y: I love how you write them omg 😭 The way this encapsulates Judar's spoiled bratty personality WRJFHWUTWFNSJ

Me: I love writing for them and their playful banter and smug teasing~

I like the idea of Judar visiting Alibaba at night in his room. I love the idea of them having secret trysts/dates meeting at night (under the full moon). The moon is also Judar's symbol

(Well, Judar has black sun and moon symbolism, and I loved how Jaqui mentioned before that she sees him with eclipse symbolism)

Me: It's a WIP but I wrote JuAli NSFW

M: Based 🔥🔥

Me: Mostly just added Judar and Alibaba going around together! And then Judar being a moody fussy cat

C: Nice also very valid. Judar moody cat...

Me: LMAO yeah. The moody cat Judar acts according to his whims. He's definitely the type to act bratty and demanding to his S/O. Judar goes all like "Play with me, Alibaba!!!"

J: This is so valid dhdhdhd

J: DHDHDHDHDH They're so funny, I love their dialogues so much. Your JuAli AU is so interesting

Me: Thank you Jaqui!!! That makes me happy to hear 🥰 💗

In this particular idea, I think they've warmed up to each other more. They're more comfortable with each other and are aware of the others' respective quirks. But I still think they probably have some relationship awkwardness typical of young adults, at times? I always have a fun time writing their banters and dialogue!

I think it's cute and funny to see their "Hate-Love" dynamic because Judar is violently tsun, and tsun tsun possessive... I think that in their early relationship, they'd constantly headbutt each other all the time. They'll always be pretty competitive with each other, but I think Judar would warm up to Alibaba over time - so there'd be less mean insults and they'd eventually turn into playful ones

Me: Judar who goes from “I don't even want to be near you!!!” at first, to cuddling up to him like an annoying cat (/endearing), preventing Alibaba from moving or getting up. Like when you want to get something to eat or drink but your cat lays on you, stopping you

C: CUTE

Me: I feel like when they get closer Judar would want to sleep with him casually. Eat together. Wrap him into his shenanigans and pester him and bother him. Don't tell him that this is peak domestic behaviour, he will deny it.

C: Cute!! :") He def would lol

Me: I'm thinking about Judar being an asshole cat with teasing hehe. Judar can be playfully mean with his teasing.

C: Judar is genuinely seeking a weird kind of entertainment from being an asshole lmao

Me: LMFAO YEAH. His bratty nature would definitely extend to sex too ASDKSDKKLSDKL

C: IT ABSOLUTELY WOULD

Me: Provoking his S/O, being competitive in the bedroom… Stuff like that. I like the subtext of tsun tsun possessiveness too at the end.

Me: I don't have enough edits of Alibaba rn so I mainly just took Judar's manga screencaps

Oh and I still need to add to some parts eventually but y'know I got most of it down for now!!!

[spookyserenades]

Ok so my thoughts of chapter 14… 

Jin: Yo I know y/n be jelly but I’m glad y/n was able to put her jealously aside bc if I was in Jins place I’d be worried and SO HAPPY that my bf is alive. That being said feelings are feelings and they’re hard to control. OMG WHEN Y/N SHOWED PICTURES OF ALL THE BOYS AND HANNA SAID HES HANDSOME AND SHES LIKE YEAH ALL MY BOYS ARE HANDSOME LIKE OMG. And the way Jin looked at her after she said that omg Y/n ur giving urself away! But also like who wouldn’t want to gush over them!?? And then later when he scents her OMG THAT SCENE WAS WILD JIN WAS SO BOLD. And he was like I wanna get Hannah’s scent off u bc I already gotta share you OMG Y/N U DO NOT HAVE TO WORRY GIRLIE POP. I understand why Hannah said to be carful with Jins heart bc he’s been hurt so many times and I wonder how he took with finding out y/n and yoongi have been sneaking around 🥺.  

Yoongi- This man is such a menace to society LITERALLY I CANNOT- the teasing looks and flirty glances! Oh and you KNOW HE LOOOVES shoving it in all their faces that he’s with her. Poor Tae tho, yoongi she loves ALL of them u know this! I guess maybe he just doesn’t wanna let go of this small moment of her being JUST his and he is quiet a possessive boi but they all are and I can’t wait to see all their moments of jealousy! Yo that sec scene was WILD holy moly! We got to see yoongi a pov a bit during the sex scene and hearing more of how much he loves her is so sweet 🥹 I’m glad they finally had that moment and he taking care of her and then cuddling eeeek. OMG NOT THEM KISSING IN THE KITCHEN AND GETTING CAUGHT- he stood by her side and supported her and I’m sure it was super overwhelming for y/n so I’m proud she was able to speak part of the truth, she she loves yoongi (but didn’t say she loves all of them bc that would be awkward not the right timing). AHHH THE DOMESTIC BLISS IM GLAD THEIR TOGETHER AND HAPPY NOW! 

Joon- He doesn’t wanna see or make her angry again which is why he’s very cool and calm abt her decision. He’s matured a lot and deep down it does really bother him, but he doesn’t wanna ruin things for her which is why he tried to act chill. OMG NOT HIM SUSING YOONGI AND Y/N OUT LIKE HE KNEW FOR WEEEKS OMG- AND THEY MADE BETS HOLY SHIT- I love joon and jk omg their banter is so much fun lol. OMG THE CHOCKER HER GAVE HER FOR CHRISTMAS WAS SO CUTE I MELTED INTO MY FLOOR BOARDS!! I feel like that was his way of showing his feelings for her tho- like Jimin said. Joon never hated her just his situation and werewolves mate for life so like… COULD IT BE TO MARK HIS TERRITORY IN A WAY. Maybe he just doesn’t understand his feelings yet bc he was isolated in his trailer just trying to survive for who knows how long. 

Hobi- his concern for y/n and yoongi’s relationship before and now finding out what’s been going on :0 He wasn’t expecting it AT ALL and I feel bad :,( he was shocked and yet he was able to roll it off afterwards for the most part bc I feel like that’s a defense mechanism for him since he’s been in uncomfortable situations. In all honestly I would love to get more in hobi’s Pov because I find him to be more mysterious than jk. Jk tries not to be obvious but is, he just likes to hide his emotions and I think a part of him does not really care atm bc she hasn’t grown on him in that way yet. With hobi tho her and him have similar personalities and bc they mesh so well I feel like finding out abt her and yoongi was like an ice bucket thrown over him. I dunno how what to say to his reaction ig hmm 🤔 he always bounces back and I can’t wait for the moment when we learn more about his past maybe specific points that made him who he is? I would love to know more about their pasts! When I ask this I don’t wanna pressure you (lol that sounds like such a lie but I do mean it 🥺), but when do u think the prologues for each member will come out? Do you think it would be better to wait until trouvallie has further progressed to not give too much away? 

Like everyone else who follows your blog, I look forward to EVERY 7th of the month bc of u! I love ur blog so much and ur writing is just 🤌🏼 💋

P.s (I Will talk abt maknae line when I have the time gotta go to class soon yeee) 

😚😘🫶🫰

Hiii bestie!!! So excited to hear all of your thoughts hehehe 😜

Jinnie: AH I'm such a jealous gal and I'm proud of Y/N being able to rein in her envy during the lunch with Seokjin, Hannah, and Sarah. She cares so much about Seokjin, I think the idea of cutting his communication with Hannah off outweighs her jealousy. AH Hannah thinking Joon is cute from the pictures like yeah girl 💀 OOF the scenting scene was steamy, he was showing his ass a little bit. Seokjin is definitely into Y/N, and I think when he was trying to get Hannah's scent off of her, it was a subtle clue that he's fallen in love with her, rather than holding onto old feelings for Hannah. heehe!! I have more to say about Jin's past and his patterns of heartbreak, but thats for future chapters (and his eventual prequel!) He seems pretty disappointed about the news of Y/N and Yoongi. I wonder how he'll end up with Y/N, himself (said evilly) 👹

Yoongiiii: MENACE is correct!! He's milking the ability to kiss her in front of them and enjoying their jealousy or weirdness about it for sure. Additionally, I think you're right-- he's probably soaking in the amount of time he has her just to himself. Yoongi is def one of the more possessive of the bunch so far, but a few of the others will have that streak in the future, too. 😉 EEEE the wild ass sex they had... I've been waitingggg to write some steamy scenes for a YEAR jdkalfdj so I got a little overexcited ah. I liked writing a bit of Yoongi's POV, too, and I think I'm going to do much much more of that in the rest of the chapters. Getting insight through their eyes now that we're further along in the story I think makes sense! The aftercare scene was important for me, too. I love when Yoongi gets all tender and mushy for her 🥺 Them getting caught.... at least it finally forced Y/N to be honest about her relationship status with Yoongi. He's very supportive of her and I think it was him standing beside her during that situation helped her to be brave. AH I love them so much they're really so in love 😭

Joonie: I agree with you, Joon has done a lot of maturing in the months he has spent living with Y/N. She's become someone important to him, and he saw how much he hurt her when he fought with Tae... I don't think he wants to provoke those feelings from her ever again. I've said in a previous ask that Joon isn't so much concerned with romance at the moment, and is more interested in pursuing his interests (paranormal, occult, cryptids, UFOs...) But we'll see how he falls in love slowly, over time, and I think it will be delicious 😋 Joon's perceptivity is KEEN dude! Not much gets by him, and he's super territorial and protective, so he keeps close watch over Y/N (who is oblivious to that). Joon and JK's interactions are some of my favorites to write!! As for the choker, that was self-indulgent of me.... my dream gift from Namjoon. I also agree with your thought that it is a sort of "mark of territory" or some kind of mark of approval of her. AH! Jimin WAS right, Joon never hated her, he just has high expectations and struggles with regulating his emotions. I love him.

Hoseok: Foxy is giving best friend to Y/N. He knew that her and Yoongi were on the outs, and doesn't like seen Y/N upset. He's the resident clever fox, so I think the shock that he wasn't able to figure out her and Yoongi's secret relationship was a tad overwhelming. He's kind of like Joon, not overly concerned with romance at the moment, and more interested in letting loose and having the freedom to do what he pleases for the first time. He's always the one to break awkward tension, and he and Y/N have an easygoing friendship with their similar personalities. He does seem mysterious, as he isn't quick to give out personal information or details of his past, but there is a lot beneath the surface for Hoseok that is yet to be revealed. I can't wait to tell you all more about our Foxy 🦊

AH the prologues! I had planned on having at least one of them out by now, but that's not how the cookie crumbled LOL. I plan on having them being like BEHEMOTHS like 50k each, and at the moment, all of my time is devoted to the main story chapters... I think I'll end up releasing them later than I thought, and I'd probably do it like one month is a main story chapter, the next is a prologue and the main story is put on pause. I agree, I think that releasing certain prologues would give a lot away (such as Hoseok's and Seokjin's) so I think they'll be a little ways off.... BUT I'm excited to write them bestie!

AHHH I love uuuu sm and thank you for always reading and reviewing the updates, it means so much to me 😭💕🥺 I hope your classes are going well and you're getting some good downtime as well ✨

[mithliya]

ive been to schools in both america and in alsa'uudia and i noticed how the arab girls were so much nicer than the american girls. i had one friend in America. just one. and when i went to alsa'uudia, i felt like i was friends with the entire class. everyone was so sweet to me and to each other. the worst thing theyd say to each other is some harsh banters and thats it.

i wouldve assumed this was a cultural thing, if not for:

how i also noticed that for the boys section, they are absolutely terrible. my dad told me how there were constant fights and assault that happened all the time in his school, and my brother had so many migraines triggered from his loud classmates, and i was told that a group of boys had attempted murder on one of my cousins, and how i heard from my teachers that in the boys section, boys would often take pictures of each other, post those pictures online and would either insult the subject of the pic or make up horrible lies about him, or how one of my friends told me how when her brother was angry and driving, he would "act like he wanted to crash the car and id be so scared"

girls are literally better than filthy little males and thrive when not influenced by them lmfao. girl supremacy!!!!

love how u keep saying alsa'uudia hfdhfdsh but i can second the fact that high school students in america suck ass :( but i feel like a big part of it was that US schools have like way more people than schools in bahrain did at least so it was easy to befriend the entire class esp bc we generally were in almost every class together whereas in america, a lot of people i only shared 1 class with and id barely see around and also ppl were weirdly racially segregated?? like not by law or sth i just mean theyd naturally racially segregate which was unusual for me. cant comment on how it is in boys schools, ive unfortunately only been in mixed-sex schools and can attest to boys being terrible at school & sometimes violent tho (one time a guy threatened to rape me & then beat up a male friend that i was talking to bc.. i called him gay???????? i was 12)

[spicysix]

Trope rating game

thanks for the tag @devondespresso

rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic? -10 -> very dissuaded  0 -> don’t care either way  +10 -> very enticed  nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

putting it under the cut cause it's a bit long. also not tagging anyone but feel free to join if you'd like!!!

Age gap: -10

I don't go with age gaps in human characters. When one of them is a supernatural being, that is already like, expected? but if it's just an AU where one of them is much older than the other, not my kind of thing

Codependency: +8

i like when they're a little fucked up on the head about it :) specially in the ST fandom ngl

Obsession/Possessiveness, jealousy: -5

not my fave, but depends. if it's from an author i know and like i'll give it a chance. sometimes i'm in the mood for it too. but usually not my thing

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): +10

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE me a grumpy/sunshine trope!!!!

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: +8

yesyesyesyesyes. i prefer if they're not actually enemies, but just two people who don't like each other, or just banter a lot, but actual enemies are also delicious

Friends with benefits: +10

loooooove love love. when one of them has been secretly pining from the beginning? EVEN BETTER

Sex to feelings: +10

see above!!!

Fake dating/relationship: +10

absolutely iconic

Friends to lovers: +6

i like the added layer of fwb situations to like, add a lil bit more of angst. but i do like the direct friends to lovers pipeline too!

Found Family: +10

WHAT'S THERE NOT TO LIKE?!?!?!

Hurt/Comfort: +10

literally delicious.

Love Triangle: -10

i only like it when they end up all dating

Poly, open relationships: +10

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

Mistaken/hidden identity: 0

not my fave but not an ick too. i don't go outright searching for it, but don't mind it much when i come across it. it can be unnecessarily angsty if the writer keeps it up for too long tho

Monsterfucking: +10

ABSOLUTELY YES

Pregnancy: nope

yeah hell no. if a fic ends with that without it being tagged, it automatically makes the fic very disapointing to me. if it's tagged, i don't read it at all. this basically only applies to reader inserts cause yeah i don't want to imagine myself pregnant. but i don't dig ABOs for some reason too

Second Chance: 0

don't mind it but i don't go looking for it

Slowburn: +5

it can be really really well done but it can also get very tiring if the author stretches it out for too long. when well done, i love it!

Soulmates: +10

LOOOOOOVE it!!!!!!

[shastafirecracker]

4, 6, 17, 20?

oooh well this got long so I'll do a break to save everyone's dashes

4 a sentence or paragraph that you’re proud of oh man, I’m proud of a lot of what I’ve written, especially lately. I feel like a lot of the stuff that hits hardest only hits right within its larger context. I love a sucker punch sentence after a long, slow buildup. I was really happy with the bit with Nick walking into the lake at the end of “don’t stop if I fall”:

It felt so strange, but also like a need as primal as human touch being met for the first time after an eon of starvation. His whole body was a raw burn and the water that rose up around him was a cool compress. His hands, cracked and callused from a lifetime of abuse, drank up the moisture and grew soft. He kept walking.

I mean, how bizarre would it feel to have never been submerged in water? if your only contact with water had ever been via sinks and showers and maybe a tepid, cramped bath?

I’m really proud of a lot of my comedy moments, too. I think my comedic pacing and timing has gotten better over the years and I’ve always loved to write banter. But I think I’ve gotten better at structural comedy via the narrative also, not just funny dialogue, particularly for characters who would not say funny dialogue - like in “I’ve seen all the demons that you got”:

Vash came back into the shop stinking of cigarettes[…] Knives sprayed him with air freshener and retreated to his office while Vash spluttered. […] he told Vash where he was going, and Vash's eyebrows did a little dance. Knives was sorry he didn't still have the can of air freshener.

6 what character do you have the most fun writing? ok there’s recency bias happening here obviously, but I fucking love writing Zazie. they’re so fun. y'all won’t know why I’ve had so much fun with them until November but it’s just refreshing to write a chaos gremlin who doesn’t have baggage, lol.

17 do you think that readers perceive your work differently to you? what do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or motivations? until fairly recently I would have said that readers would be surprised to know that I’m asexual but then I found out that apparently aces who write smut are, like, the backbone of society XD but seriously, my go-to answer for “why does someone who doesn’t want to have sex write about sex” is just why would someone who doesn’t want to go to space write about going to space. why would someone who doesn’t want to commit a murder write a murder. stares directly at the stupidly massive quantity of speculative fiction ever written and then looks into the camera.

other than that uhhhh I have no idea? a few times I have had readers leave reviews like “oh wow, you must have experienced [thing] because you describe it so accurately” and I take that as a huge compliment because it means I’m a very good study of human character and psychology. but no, to those specific commenters in the past, I have not been a member of a cult, grown up on a farm and/or killed chickens to cook, nor had any transcendent group sex. thanks for thinking my life is that exciting tho! <3

20 tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble about (symbolism, character or relationship development, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes) ok there’s a big one in the big bang fic that I can’t talk about yet but I HOPE people see what I did there. and are just like “I see what you did there”

yes I love these!!! generally it’s wordplay or symbolic references that I just don’t know if anyone picked up on because no one said it in any comments… argh I’m struggling to think of a lot right now but in “I’ve seen all the demons that you’ve got” I really hoped that when I used the phrase “dose makes the poison” that people connected that all the way through Knives’ past work refining ricin and him having been dosed with ketamine (which is, like, a legitimate and important medication but the dosage is SO important)… ummmm also in “don’t stop if I fall” there’s just so many. I hope people grokked every usage of the lyric that the title came from - every time the words “don’t stop” were used in that fic it was very deliberate (including the extremely dubious consent sex scene).

one small one in that same fic that I hope someone/anyone caught was this sentence: “He remembered this ground like an old friend, this stained glass landscape.” because Wolfwood remembers the grounds of the orphanage as stained (with his own blood, with the attempts to water the seedlings when he was a kid), and because the ground is glass (sand, silicate) and therefore contains no nutrients, and because of the obvious religious connotation (but which doubles back on the other two as meaning, you know, a bright thing with no substance). I was happy with that sentence.

a bit of a character note that I cling to at all costs is that if I’m writing something post-canon, any version of canon, even my own AUs’ iterations of “canon,” then Vash WILL miss Knives and grieve him constantly. and he’ll feel a lot of guilt about feeling like he shouldn’t grieve Knives, shouldn’t be allowed to feel grief because Knives was so “evil” and Vash “won” and blah blah blah, and that every time someone celebrates the world not ending it is another twist to the knife in his guts. look up pyrrhic victory in the dictionary there’s a mugshot of vash. it just matters to me to always be clear that vash is not actually okay with how it all shook out in the end.

[madstronaut]

my IRL moots and I are currently bingewatching olympic coverage so if I have been absent it’s because I have temporarily replaced fanfic as my comfort/stress reliever with footage of simone biles and sunisa lee and leo marchand and katie ledecky and tom daley absolutely fucking SLAYING (and knitting) over in the city of lights

but anyway WHO DOESn’T LOVE A GOOD COMEBACK STORY AND TEH FUCKING STANDING OVATION (so wat if it was in my PJs and a facemask I had a long week okay) I GAVE WHEN I SAW WRENNY RETURNED WITH A FUCKING BANGER OF A CHAPTER TO CONTINUE SKIN DEEP THAT WAS OLYMPIC-WORTHY IF I SAY SO 🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇 (surgeon general warning: this is purely fucking subjective)

I was gonna use an olympic cheering gif but I saw this bajirao mastani gif and deemed it even better and also I saw a post saying gifmakers are notified whenever their gif is tagged in a post and I want to apologize in advance dear artist for using it in my fanfic rant lol

anyway diving right into it (if yall knew the absolutely herculean effort I am making not to sprinkle this whole fucking thing with olympic puns…) does anyone else get sympathy phantom pains when they read about a character you’re emotionally invested in get hurt? cos I definitely grabbed and patted my own tit in sympathy when I read about reader’s piercing snagging on a sweater

also I FUCKIN LOVE THE MATCHING PIERCINGS!!!! <33333 something so special about sharing something secret and intimate between just you and your beloved <3 (which makes johnny’s matchy eyebrow piercing reveal later all the more interestin 👀)

if cleanliness were a love language, it would likely be Simon’s. 

this tracks for how I HC simon honestly, where all my fellow traumatized PTSD-coping control freaks at!!!! just me???!!?!!

Not that he had told you he loved you—nor had you told him. You had promised yourself that you would wait until he said it first (the only sure-fire way to avoid coming across as overeager and scaring him off). Still, there were a thousand ways in a day that Simon made you feel as if he loved you: the way he would go out to start your car in the wintery mornings when your remote start stopped working; the way he always offered you the first bite of his food if you weren’t sharing a meal; the way he’d crack open your drinks before handing them to you. Was it wrong of you to try to read between the lines? 

how does that saying go, “actions speak louder than words”? 👀👀👀 also couldn’t help but be reminded of me and my fellow POC IRLs sharing about how our parentals/families never said ILY growing up but later learned to understand they showed not told (my current philosophy tho is y not both? y not both indeed)

His thumbs stroke beneath your breasts along the sternum tattoo he gave you—a favorite part of you for him to touch-

🥰🥰🥰

“I want you,” he mutters. “Say yes.”  “Yes, God, yes.”

 👏sexy consenting, we luv to see it 👏

Something about him so unashamedly enjoying himself makes it easier for you to enjoy yourself too.

yes, we love a win-win situation 💛💛💛

also i loved all the goofy little moments during their sexytime with the knocking over his pencils, “don’t insult me” (I would be gigglin my ass off at this), their banter <3, LAUGHING WHILE COMING!!! cannot even describe the feeling but yes if you’ve done the same it is *quite* the feeling - GOOFY SEX SUPREMACY BLOG OVER HERE, ANTIS CAN GO FUCK CLOWNS TYVM (it’s me, I’m the clown, wooin you in this 10k word essay I will-)

as always simon seems to be so adept and confident at reading reader but hOOOW CURIOUS THAT HE DOUBTS HIMSELF/CUTS HIMSELF OFF FROM SPECULATING WHEN IT COMES TO JOHNNY? hMMMMMMM

and UGH i so feel the reader in wanting to befriend your beloved’s beloveds and the stress in that struggle -currently experiencing a different iteration of this with my IRL moots in trying to balance putting aside your pride to attempt to get along with someone you just don’t jive with but who is beloved by your beloved (uhh does this make me johnny in this scenario but wthout the sexual tension/ghoapiness of it all UGH) anyway READER I FEEL YA

“When Soap and I are in a room together with women, I’m like a ghost. 🥺🥺🥺 “Were you jealous?”  He makes an ambiguous sound. 

i notice direct, straightforward simon consistently struggles to be so when it comes to our soapy boi  👀👀 *putting my tin foil hat back on* though another part of me wonders if simon has noticed how frosty reader and johnny are and is secretly not too bothered by it by the aforementioned love triangle/soap “stealing the spotlight” probs

I am dying to know what went down in the fight between simon & johnny at the flooded shop!!! wrenny SPILL TEH TEA WOMAN (if you please per your time/desire)

after re-reading this multiple times I pulled up my conspiracy theories from pt 1 and HOLY FUCK THE FEELING OF CHECKING OFF A FEW TO BE CONFIRMED IS PROBABLY HOW THOSE PPL WHO  RAIDED AREA 51 VIA THAT PUBLIC FB EVENT INVITE FELT WHEN THEY GOT TO NARUTO-RUN ON LIVE TV

I did the phoenix ace attorney finger point (i know nothing bout this show cept thru this meme) while yelling I FUCKING KNEW THEY FUCKED at the top of my lungs at my laptop (sorry to my IRL neighbors)

“The day after we—y’know. Fucked. I told him it was a one time thing. Maybe it’s in my head,” says Simon, frowning. “Maybe I’m crazy. But sometimes he looks at me or says something to me and it makes me think it’s not over. Not for him.” “Is it really over,” you ask, “for you?” Simon looks at you, quiet. He says: “I want you.” And you are so relieved by the obvious honesty in his answer that it never crosses your mind to think that’s not what you asked. 

*currently ripping off my tin foil hat, shredding it in my jaws and screaming IRL at all the cues and tells here*

I also sus that this is why reader is hesitant to say ILY so far whether she knows it or not but again thats just my tin foil talkin

oooh FUCKING LOVE the reader coming up to observe johnny unnoticed!!! all up in simon’s space looking at his sketches 👀👀

and then HIS BODY LANGUAGE!!!! the open grimace, putting physical space in between them, deflecting with the “incriminating” comment accusations + bringing up simon.. I devoured the entire convo of just reader + johnny here; just fuckin fascinated by reader acting as a social bridge between simon and johnny here...maybe in more ways than one? (DO NOT MAKE AN EIFFEL TOWER JOKE DO NOT FUCKING-)

anyway my current conclusion based on this convo is that the torch johnny has been carrying for simon is fucking OLYMPIC-SIZED (last joke I swear I’m SORRY) and he deflects with casual/shallow flirting etc. to hide the weight/grief of it anyway brb dabbing away some tears so I can see clearly to read the rest of this-

also ALSO SUS impending loss of johnny as partner (and more) is what triggers simon’s nightmares; i usually dont recall/consider simon’s canon backstory when i picture him in fics I read unless explicitly stated/included but I think we can all agree across the board that generally speakin That Man Has Seen Sum Shit™️

You can’t imagine the stress that he is under, and you’d do anything to be able to shoulder a fraction of it for him. 

mood, reader, moooooood! also please if it is not obvi already despite the emotional beating she is taking/giving herself over not being able to befriend her bf's bff - reader is SUCH a great friend and gf to simon, i also want to give her a giant hug and peptalk and also kick johnny in the balls for how mean he is to her, no excuses, laddie

“That was mine!” Johnny shouts, elbowing the man next to him. “Did you see that? That was my work!”

👀👀 whats that phrase IN VINO VERITAS once again PHRASING, MACTAVISH, PHRASING GOD D A M N

I am looking down the road and brother, all roads lead to ghoaple i mean, rome as they say (trying to put ghost soap throuple in one word)

“Simon?” Johnny let’s go of the guy’s shirt, his bad mood evaporating as quickly as it had manifested.

hMMMMM

He says something back, some Scottish phrase, his accent so thick you couldn’t understand the words even if you knew them. 

hi PSA i need a favor pls someone please run over to the bar, get their security vid and lipread or transcribe what he said so I can look it up on google translate i will reward you with monopoly monies or some hot goss from the legacy media companies I’ve worked with, your choice

also do I sus not only wariness but also attraction from johnny to reader here?! but is it cos reader reminds him of simon 👀👀👀

“Oh, did I offend you?” he breathes, clutching one hand at his breast. “Not falling down at your feet? Not worshippin’ the ground you walk on?” 

 johnny do I smell some jalousie, as the french like to say hon hon hon

also btw I have been in a car with a crying driver and lemme tell you ALWAYS. PULL. OVER. that shit will drastically lower your life expectancy and raise your blood pressure simultaneously (obligatory FUCK YOU ELIJAH YOU POS FOR BREAKING UP WITH MY FRIEND OVER THE FUCKING PHONE WHILE SHE WAS DRIVING IF I EVER SEE YOUR PATHETIC BITCH ASS AGAIN IT IS ON SIGHT)

“I don’t understand,” you mutter. “He wants us to be friends.”  “He doesn’t know what he wants,'' Johnny says.

oh and you do, do you now, johnny? RAGGGHHHH my anthropological brainworm is absolutely feasting at the drama/dynamics rn

also fucking dead at picturing drunk af johnny flipping the twin birds, then slipping and falling on his side

Johnny warns you sleepily: “Ghost is right there.”

WRENNY YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER (affectionate) THE FUCKNG JUMPSCARE THIS GAVE ME AT 2AM WHEN I FIRST READ THIS I SCREAMED OUT LOUD 

ok now that I’ve fucking blacked out and typed a fucking marathon of an essay here i wiil just end with this lovelyass post by @/dwarvenales I read earlier -

not to get tooo fuckin sappy but wrenny I recall seeing a bit of the obstacles you overcame to continue writing this and just wanted to say for you and really for any other fic writer out there who struggle with your fics that you are very much seen and loved and your brainbabies are awaited with open arms by many more lovers than haters, mes amis! mwahmwahmwahmwah bisous bisous bisous for you all 😘👌😘👌😘👌😘👌😘👌😘👌😘👌

A Complete Set (Whatever That Means) || 2

A continuation of Skin Deep. Part one of this sequel is here.

About this: previous warnings apply, oral sex (f receiving), alcohol, gross imperfections, not a single nipple unfortunately, an eyebrow though. For @/moody-alcoholic, I hope this manages to quench even the tiniest portion of your thirst. 1 more part left. 7k

-

“Simon?” 

“Hm.” 

“Are you seeing anybody else?” 

Simon looks up at you. His hair is getting long, falling over his forehead and looking nearly brunet in the dim lighting. You don’t think he’s cut it since the two of you have started dating. 

He’s been drawing for half the night, hunched over with the sketchpad in his lap, doing terrible things to his own posture and blocking his own lighting all at once. When he answers you, it’s in that dry tone that lets you know he thinks you’ve said something funny or clever: “No.” 

A knot in your chest loosens. It’s hard to believe you worried over such a question for so long just to receive such a simple, earnest answer. He goes back to sketching. 

You content yourself with this and stretch your legs out until your toes touch his thigh at the other end of the sofa. His mouth twitches, but he keeps working. 

-

Six months pass, and how do you celebrate? You climb topless onto Simon’s lap, eager and anxious in equal measure. Your nipple piercing had stopped hurting months ago (save for the time you had snagged it on a cable knit sweater and nearly seen Jesus), but you had read online that piercings heal from the outside inward, and as such you had made every attempt possible to leave the thing alone even when all you wanted to do was play with it. 

In his own way of celebrating, Simon had bought you your first new barbell: a black one with black gemmed studs at each end. You couldn’t help but notice that it looked similar to his, only with a more delicate, feminine touch.

“Will you change it for me?” you ask him. Your hands are shaking.

“Alright. Let me wash my hands.” He shifts you off of his lap and disappears into the bathroom where you hear the faucet turn on. You cross your arms over your breasts, feeling silly being half naked without Simon in the room. Your foot bounces impatiently, but you know that if cleanliness were a love language, it would likely be Simon’s. 

Not that he had told you he loved you—nor had you told him. You had promised yourself that you would wait until he said it first (the only sure-fire way to avoid coming across as overeager and scaring him off). Still, there were a thousand ways in a day that Simon made you feel as if he loved you: the way he would go out to start your car in the wintery mornings when your remote start stopped working; the way he always offered you the first bite of his food if you weren’t sharing a meal; the way he’d crack open your drinks before handing them to you. Was it wrong of you to try to read between the lines? 

Simon comes back and tugs you onto his lap again. His hands look huge compared to the jewelry through your breast as he dexterously works the ball free from the barbell. He has the hands of a surgeon: steady and calm. You close your eyes in anticipation of pain, but there is none; it just feels alien, sensitive whenever his calloused fingers brush over your pebbled nipple, even as he removes the barbell itself. 

Taking the sanitized jewelry, he carefully puts it in and screws the stud in place. 

“That didn’t hurt at all,” you say, reaching down to tug softly on the barbell. Still, no pain. 

“Great,” he says, eyes on your breasts. He grips your hips. “Up, now. C’mon, up.” 

He tugs you up onto your knees so that you’re the perfect height for him to take your nipple into his burning mouth. You shiver, one hand gripping his shoulder and the other burying itself in his hair, gripping softly to keep his mouth in place. If you had worried that getting the piercing would make you less sensitive, you were wrong. He tugs on the jewelry gently with his fucking teeth and God, holy shit, fucking hell, definitely not less sensitive.

“Been waiting to do this,” he says, nuzzling the skin between your breasts as he gives you a moment to catch your breath. “Six months of hell.” 

“Yeah?” You pant lamely, chest heaving. 

He hums. His thumbs stroke beneath your breasts along the sternum tattoo he gave you—a favorite part of you for him to touch—as his lips find your nipple again, lashing softly with his tongue. His hands have begun to tremble where they slide down the curves of your sides and to your hips, touch soft and worshipful as he brings you down to rest your weight against the hard line of his cock still confined in his jeans. The shaking says more than a thousand of his words ever could. 

“I want you,” he mutters. “Say yes.” 

“Yes, God, yes.”

Simon guides you off of his lap, kneeling down into the space between the couch and the coffee table. He pushes the table backwards with a little more force than is necessary when there isn’t enough room for his long legs and accidentally sends a cup full of charcoal pencils tipping over onto the carpet. You snort with laughter. He peels your leggings and panties off and drags you to the edge of the couch, pressing your thighs open wide. 

Getting head from partners in the past had been a fraught, mostly unenjoyable experience. Even your first few times with Simon had been tense, with him quickly moving on to something else after noticing your inability to relax. A less eager man might have counted his blessings and moved on, but Simon’s gentle persistence had gone a long way toward reassuring you that he truly wanted to please you this way. It had gone a long way toward reassuring you that you could let him. 

He spreads you apart, thumbs slipping against your slick folds, heated gaze pinpointed on your most intimate parts before he leans in and licks a broad stripe over your entrance and up to your clit. You shut your eyes (and cover your face for good measure). His warm breath fans against your pussy as he laughs. He could be mean and pull your hands away, but he lets you hide this way and you are grateful for it. 

Simon takes his time mapping each part of you with his mouth, nose brushing your clit whenever he doesn’t have his lips sealed over it. Your thighs shake, toes curled, as he pulls whines and choked gasps from your throat. 

You peek through your fingers when you feel him shifting beneath you to find that he’s worked his cock from his jeans and is jerking off, only noticeable by the tell-tale rhythmic motion of his arm against your calf. 

“Jesus, Simon,” you whine. 

He makes a little sound of acknowledgement in the back of his throat, shifting on his knees to change the angle of his mouth against you. Something about him so unashamedly enjoying himself makes it easier for you to enjoy yourself too, to let your hands come away from your face and thread them through his hair. 

“Can we fuck?” you breathe, aching inside deep where his tongue can’t reach. 

He nods against you and kneels up to kiss you. You still aren’t used to the taste of yourself in his mouth, but it’s growing less foreign—and nothing could ever make you turn away from one of Simon’s kisses. 

He pulls you off the couch onto your knees, his legs spread to either side of your own. You arch your back, feeling his cock brush against the back of your thighs. Two of his thick fingers slip inside you, testing your give and your wetness. He twists them; turns to hook them against that soft, vulnerable spot inside you that makes your legs shake. Simon works a third finger into you, a stretch that your body struggled to take before but which it accepts eagerly now, the sting welcome and familiar.

“Fuck. I need a condom,” he rasps. 

“Just pull out,” you say. 

You can sense him rolling his eyes. Your fondness for the (dangerous) pull-out method had been formally noted by him and thus far rejected at every turn. 

“Don’t insult me,” he mutters. He grabs your hand and guides it between your own legs. “Be good and keep yourself warm. I’ll be right back.”

He’s barely gone long enough for you to stroke your fingers through your folds, but when he returns (flashing the intact condom package at you like he always does), he watches you for an endless, lingering moment.

“I like that,” he says at last, taking his spot behind you again, condom in place. 

“Like what?”

“Watching you touch yourself.” The head of his cock nudges your entrance. He finds the right angle and slips inside you, stretching your walls to make room for himself. You groan, your fingers digging into the couch cushion. It stings a little, right towards the end, but he just softly saws himself in and out of your pussy, soothing the ache with pleasure. His words go completely over your head. 

He reaches so deep inside you, like with his every thrust his cock bullies the air out of your lungs. The slick sounds are lewd, keeping time with your moans and sighs as his fingertips dig into the flesh of your hips, manhandling you further onto the couch to the perfect height for him to fuck into you, your knees barely skimming the carpet.  

Your hand ends up crushed between your pelvis and the couch. You let your fingers find your clit and the touch reminds your body of how close it is, that coil deep in your belly stretched tight and ready to release. Your fingers trail down to where his cock pistons in and out of you, and at your touch he groans, slows to a smooth drag, his length slippery with your own arousal. 

“Touch yourself, not me,” he chides, his voice rough. “I’m close enough.” 

“I’m close enough,” you say.

He flops against your back, nearly crushing you with his weight to hook his chin over your shoulder and ask: “Then what the fuck are we waiting for?”

You can barely draw in the breath to laugh, and it’s only worse when you cum. You bury your face into the couch cushions, giggling, fingers rubbing a gentle, hectic rhythm against your clit as your pussy spasms around him. He snorts at your laughter, a soft quiet exhale against the back of your neck. Then he cums, his thrusts sloppy and hard, turning his head at the last moment to bite your shoulder lazily. 

“Sex makes you so weird,” you pant. Your face hurts from smiling. 

“You like it?”

“Yeah. I do.”

He ties off the condom and throws it away. The two of you sit naked on the couch together, curled up. It’s a little alien to be this open about your body with someone and to have them be so open about their body in return, but it’s a good strangeness. So much about loving Simon is. 

“I need to get the other one pierced now,” you mention, toying with his unpierced nipple. “Have to complete the set.”

“I never did.”

“You’re incomplete. Don’t you know?” 

He snorts. “I feel quite fulfilled, thanks.” 

“Please Simon?” you ask. “I want to.”

“Don’t ever say please. I’ll text Soap in the morning,” Simon says, trailing his fingers up and down the length of your arm, making goosebumps appear. 

You hesitate. Should you tell him what you’d been thinking about for the last several months? Would it offend him to know that you didn’t want to go to Johnny for any more piercings? 

Whether it offended him or not, your pride couldn’t rest easily going back to the tiny room behind the curtain in Skin Deep. While there had been only a few other tense interactions between you and Johnny since Simon’s birthday (and usually he seemed to favor outright ignoring your existence), the situation had not improved. 

“Simon—I think I’d rather go somewhere else for my other nipple. To someone other than Johnny, I mean.” 

Simon frowns. “What’d Johnny do.” 

He phrases it like that—more of a statement and less of a question, immediately assuming that Johnny is at fault. 

“It’s just—it’s like I said on your birthday. He doesn’t like me much.” 

Simon turns to look you in the eye. When your gaze tries to skirt away, he lets out an irritated breath through his nose—but doesn’t fight you. Simon always lets you run. Maybe because he knows his legs are long enough to catch you. “You really feel like that?” 

“You’ve never noticed?” 

“Thought it was in my head,” he mutters. Then he says the most dreaded words he possibly could: “I’ll talk to him.” 

“No!” you nearly shout. You struggle to lower your voice to something more appropriate for indoors, your heart tap-dancing to an anxious beat inside your chest. Just trying to picture Johnny’s irritated expression at any of Simon’s potential efforts to talk to him made your stomach turn over. “I mean—don’t. Really. It’s fine.” 

“It’s not. I need you two to get along. You and Johnny—you’re the most important people in my life,” he says baldly. His honesty does something to your lungs—empties them, crushes them. You only just realize the position that you’re putting Simon in, and it makes you feel about two inches tall. How could you let your petty problems with Johnny potentially get in the way of their longtime friendship? Their brotherhood?

“I’m begging you, Simon,” you plead. “Promise me you won’t talk to him. Just, give me more time to get to know him or something.” 

“Can't promise that.” He stands up and stretches, joints popping as you stare at him, your stomach tearing itself to pieces at this knowledge. This is not how this conversation was meant to end. But he disappears into the bedroom before you can gather your wits enough to say another word.

-

There is nothing like sleeping beside Simon, his arm beneath your head, your body turned and cradled against his side, a leg thrown over his thighs. His heart is as slow and steady as his breaths, his calloused thumb tracing a line back and forth on your naked side, a line which grows slower and slower as he drifts closer to sleep. 

You ruin it like this: “Simon?” 

“Hm.” 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“If you got’a.” 

“On your birthday, you said that women meant for you sometimes ended up being Johnny’s. What did you mean?” 

He’s quiet for so long that you mistake him for falling asleep. You’ve resigned yourself to asking him another night when he speaks, his speech is slow and thoughtful, like it is hard to put it into words. 

“When Soap and I are in a room together with women, I’m like a ghost. He’s a fucking human being. Flesh and blood. Alive. People want to talk to him, to know him, to laugh with him, to have a drink with him. I’m not like that. I haven’t ever been like that. More than once Johnny would try to get me together with a woman who would end up falling for him instead. Eventually I convinced him to stop trying.” 

“Were you jealous?” 

He makes an ambiguous sound. “It’s hard to be jealous of Soap.” 

“Not impossible, though.” 

He rolls you over onto your back, coming to rest over you, your legs a tangled mess beneath the sheets. The darkness lengthens the shadows of his eyes, but you can still feel his gaze, tangible as any touch. He braces himself on his elbows over you and lets his forehead rest against your own. “I just wanted someone who was mine,” he says. 

It’s on the tip of your tongue, those words that are building inside of you and growing harder to withhold by the day. But you say it like this and hope he can translate: “I’m yours.” 

He ducks his head and kisses you. 

-

In the morning, Simon has slipped a piece of paper just beneath the edge of your mug of tea. When you look at it, written in charcoal pencil is DARCELINA: Dream City Tattoos and Piercings XXX-XXXX. 

-

It’s one for the record books: the rain. Thick pregnant clouds carry more than eight inches of rain to your city in the course of a day. The last time it rained so much was apparently during the Civil War era. The city floods, including the basement of your apartment building, which leads to a building-wide power outage. 

Simon has you pack a suitcase, junk the majority of your refrigerator and freezer, and come stay with him. You’re giddy, feeling like it’s a semi-permanent sleepover when he gets the call that Skin Deep has flooded as well. 

Then things take a turn for the worse. Simon is gone for nearly 36 hours straight making endless calls to attempt to clear the water and begin repairs, and sometime in the midst of that, the fight with Johnny happens. 

It’s an ugly one. 

Simon comes home in the foulest mood you’ve ever seen him in. It turns him positively stony as he moves around the apartment making himself a hasty meal, avoiding your eyes every chance he gets. After he eats, he sits heavily on the sofa, pulls out his sketchpad, and trashes no fewer than six entire pages before you get the nerve to ask him what’s wrong. 

“Soap,” he mutters, crumpling a paper in one strong, dextrous hand. He throws it toward the small garbage can beside the telly and misses. “He’s looking for other locations to pierce at.”

“Is the building that bad?” you ask. “You guys will have to find a new place?”

“Soap is looking for a new place. One without me.”

You gape, the shock of this news reaching all the way to the core of your being. 

“You don’t think it’s because of—?” Me. You can’t even finish the sentence, the thought upsets you so much. You tuck your legs beneath you on the couch, curling up, seeking to become small and harmless as grief and horror wash over you in wave after wave. 

“This is my fault. I tried to talk to him but he’s so fucking—he gets under my goddamn skin like he was born to do it.” Simon pauses heavily, before adding: “I need to tell you something about the night Soap pierced me.” 

Story time. Alright. You uncurl your legs, choosing to sit with them criss-crossed, your body turned toward him, giving Simon your entire attention. It’s been months since you found out that Johnny had been the one to pierce Simon, but you had been no closer to getting the story from either of them. Your curiosity was a dangerous, corrosive thing, eating away at your insides. 

“I’m listening,” you say, hoping you don’t look as eager as you feel. 

Simon looks to be at a loss for words, running his tongue along the sharp edge of his teeth. When he speaks, it’s hardly the lengthy story you had been anticipating: “We fucked.”

You blink. “You and—Johnny?”

Simon sighs and shrugs a shoulder. 

“I didn’t know you were…” Simon stares, waiting for you to finish your sentence. “…interested in men.”

“You are. Why can’t I be?”

You feel a chilly pang of horror, like someone has slipped a dagger between your ribs. You rush to assure him: “You can! You—“

Simon’s mouth twitches as he rubs at the crease of one eye, and your panic fades. He mumbles: “I’m just fucking with you.”

“So you’re bisexual.”

“I’m… I don’t fucking know. I’m attracted to who I’m attracted to. I never named it.”

“Okay,” you say gently. “We don’t have to. But what does that have to do with now?”

“The day after we—y’know. Fucked. I told him it was a one time thing. Maybe it’s in my head,” says Simon, frowning. “Maybe I’m crazy. But sometimes he looks at me or says something to me and it makes me think it’s not over. Not for him.”

“Is it really over,” you ask, “for you?”

Simon looks at you, quiet. He says: “I want you.”

And you are so relieved by the obvious honesty in his answer that it never crosses your mind to think that’s not what you asked. 

-

Simon is uptown at a café holding consultations while Johnny directs cleanup efforts at the shop, and you think that now’s the perfect chance. 

Your hands shake against the steering wheel the whole drive there, nerves less like butterflies and more like great winged moths in your belly. A part of you says that this is a mistake, you should turn back and let Simon and Johnny work it out on their own. But another part of you feels personally responsible—even if Simon says you aren’t. All your life you have taken things too personally, shouldered burdens which were not your own, bent over backwards to solve problems that weren’t yours to solve. If there was any chance that you could resolve this, you would put your pride on the line to do it. 

You park alongside the street and are thrilled to find the front door unlocked. The entire place smells musty, like a basement. The wooden floors have warped a little under your tentative steps, announcing your presence sooner than you’d like. 

Johnny sits in the chair where Simon tattoos clients. Sunlight streams in through the blinds and lights him up like some kind of punk-rock angel, his mohawk freshly clipped, dark finger nail polish chipping. Sometime between now and the last time you’ve seen him, he’s pierced his eyebrow: a black barbell with studs that reminds you a little too much of the one through your nipple (and Simon’s. Was that intentional? Did Johnny pick jewelry to match Simon’s? To match yours? For some reason just the thought makes your nipples tighten). In his hands is one of Simon’s sketchpads, and he’s flipping through it leisurely. 

He glances up toward the sound of your footsteps. 

“If you’re here about the water—“ his words die out on his pierced tongue as he stares at you, gobsmacked by your appearance. 

“Hey,” you say lamely. 

“Where’s Simon?” he asks, eyes flickering toward the protective spot where Simon usually hovers just over your shoulder. “He said he wouldn’t be in today.”  

“He’s not. It’s just me. I thought maybe we could talk.”

Johnny openly grimaces. He shuts Simon’s sketchpad and sets it down (hopefully where he found it). Standing from the chair, he takes a few casual steps away from you, clearly heading towards the curtain that leads to the back of the shop. “Really cannot think of anything we have to talk about.”

You square your shoulders, fighting down that instinctive urge to make yourself smaller, to give in and be manageable. “I think we do.” 

“You should go.” 

“Not until we work this out.” 

“There isn’t any this, alright, just—does Simon even know you’re here?” Something guilty must splash across your face because Johnny gives a mirthless laugh, reaching up to palm at his eyes. “Tha’s great. Just great. Could you be more incriminating?” 

“Incriminating—? Look, Simon told me about the night you pierced him.”

“Oh he did, did he?” Johnny says flippantly. 

“About how you two slept together.” 

Now that stops Johnny in his tracks. It’s clear that he didn’t expect Simon to really tell you about that night all those years ago. He looks at you with a fresh caution, waiting to see how exactly you’ve taken this news—what you plan to do with it. “Aye, then. I guess he did.” 

“I’m not trying to take him away from you.” 

Johnny makes a derisive sound. His words are well-rehearsed, like he has said them to himself a hundred-hundred times: “Cannot take what isn’t mine.” 

“He was your friend first,” you say, aiming for conciliatory and gentle the same way you might approach a feral animal. Johnny stares at you with flat, suspicious eyes. They’re so fucking blue—so different from Simon’s own dark ochre ones. “He told me that you’re one of the most important people in his life.” 

Johnny’s face softens. He says: “You shouldn’t tell me that. He wouldn’t.” 

“He’s not always good with words. Please don’t leave the shop, Johnny. I think it would break Simon’s heart.”

“I didn’t know he had a heart to break,” Johnny mutters. He leans against the wall beside the curtain and sighs, lips pressed into a thin line. “I’ll think about it. Now out. You shouldn’t be breathin’ in this air.” 

Johnny ushers you to the door, hand hovering just above your back, careful not to touch you. Once you’re out on the street, he shuts the door and locks it audibly. Then he leans in and huffs a heated breath beneath the “NO WALK INS” sign. In the fog, he adds: “No GFs!”

You flip him off. 

He flips you off. 

On the way back to your car, you find yourself smiling. You force yourself to scowl. It’s a more appropriate expression. Giving one last glance back toward Skin Deep, you find him still standing there, watching. 

Likely just to make sure you’re really leaving. 

-

Not long after you are moved back into your apartment, you find that Simon stops sleeping. 

You’re ashamed to say that it takes you a while to notice; nothing changes on your end of things. Anytime you are sleeping over, he lays down with you, tugs you up against his chest, and holds you for ages, his body still and breathing even. But one night you wake to a cool, empty bed. And later in the week, it happens again. Until more often than not you realize that any moment when you expect Simon to be sleeping, he isn’t. 

Usually you find him sketching, shadows like charcoal smudged beneath his eyes. He doesn’t meet your gaze and tells you to go back to bed, that he’ll be there soon. Sometimes he even does come to lay back down beside you—but only long enough for you to convince him that you have fallen asleep again. Then he is shifting away from you, disappearing into the other room, shutting the bedroom with the quietest click behind him. 

You know that he’s busy. His schedule has been booked—and with deposits nonrefundable, people more often than not kept their appointments. He’s been working with a client on mock ups for a sleeve, and the various pieces and the way they all come together around the contours of the person’s body are very delicate. Johnny’s threat to find a new job doesn’t help, either. Have they talked and resolved things yet? Simon never says so. 

You can’t imagine the stress that he is under, and you’d do anything to be able to shoulder a fraction of it for him. 

That’s how you end up with drunk Johnny in your car. 

It starts with Simon falling asleep before you—for once. You can tell he is well and truly asleep by the sheer weight of his arm over you, the soft snores that he gives out against the nape of your neck. After so many nights of sleeplessness, his body has finally given in. You’re about to slip off to sleep yourself when the buzzing of a phone startles you back into wakefulness. 

Not your phone—Simon’s phone. And it goes off again. And again. And again. Who the hell could be sending so many messages at midnight?

You know you should leave it alone—if it was urgent, they would likely call—but curiosity gets the better of you. Carefully you slip out from under Simon’s arm. It’s a testament to his sheer exhaustion that he doesn’t wake as you jostle him. In sleep, he looks painfully young and relaxed, and it makes you long to reach out and brush back his hair that has fallen onto his forehead. But not at the risk of waking him. 

Sure that all you are planning to do is shut Simon’s phone off so that he can get some restful sleep, you are surprised to see that Simon has his text notifications visible on the homescreen, so all it takes is a simple tap to open them up. 

Johnny. All Johnny. 

Ghost. 

Ghost

Are you uo? 

Up* fuck my fingers 

I need a ride home

Simon

I’m at that bar on… The text is cut off. To see more, you would have to open his phone. So Johnny is stuck at some bar, drunk more than likely. Well good riddance, you think to yourself, the hurtful way he treated you still very much fresh in your brain. But then you remember your talk at Skin Deep, and your traitorous heart softens. Could you really just put the phone back now and pretend you hadn’t seen the messages?

Simon doesn’t even have a password; that’s how much he trusts you. Would he still trust you after this, if he knew that you had gone through his phone, even if it was for a good cause? 

Making a spur of the moment decision, you could only hope so. Your conscience wouldn’t let you wake Simon, and as much as you disliked him, it couldn’t let you leave Johnny stranded at some bar either. 

You open his phone as quickly as you can, swiping so that it goes straight to Johnny’s texts and nowhere else. The name of the bar is right there, and you scramble for your own phone to type it down in Google Maps. He’s not far. Probably would be within walking distance, if he weren’t drunk. You could be there and back before Simon ever knew you were gone—you hoped. 

As Simon, you send back to Johnny a simple OMW. 

There is no hint of spring in the frigid March air as you slip outside into your car. The parking lot is dim and quiet, and traffic is minimal as you follow the GPS on your phone to Johnny’s location. The pub nightlife spills out onto the pavement and you struggle to find a place to park, grimacing at the knowledge that you will have to get out of the car and go inside to find Johnny, considering you see him nowhere on the street. Leaving the warmth of your car is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do, especially in just a thin tank-top and a pair of leggings. Gathering your coat more tightly around yourself, you rush out of the car and through the people on the sidewalk and into the warmth of the pub. 

You keep your eyes peeled for Johnny, but can’t spot his silly haircut anywhere. What if he’s gotten a ride home from someone else? What if he’s decided to walk, or found someone to go home with? You shift up onto your toes, looking over everyone in the bar when you spot him in the corner at a table with a few other men. 

Johnny doesn’t even recognize you at first—either a testament to how unexpected your sudden appearance is or how drunk he is based on how difficult it is for his eyes to focus on you. When he realizes who you are, his mouth drops. He points. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks, accent so thick and slurred that you can barely understand him. 

“Picking you up. You said you needed a ride.”

“Aye but not from—oh, Jesus make me still. Yer not wearing a bra, are you?” 

All the men at the table turn to gape. You snatch the sides of your jacket closed where they had loosely fallen open, your face flushing with warmth. The table roars with laughter, but Johnny in his drunkenness doesn’t seem to notice your embarrassment. 

“That was mine!” Johnny shouts, elbowing the man next to him. “Did you see that? That was my work!”

“We get it, bruv,” the guy says with a roll of his eyes. “She’s no ten.” 

“What’d you fuckin’ say?”

The table laughs. 

Johnny grabs a fistful of the guy’s shirt and drags him nearly clean out of his seat. “I said, What’d you fucking say about her?”

The table stops laughing. Johnny cuts an impressive figure even when drunk; he’s easily the largest guy of the group. Your stomach drops and lands somewhere between your shoes. This is not going to plan at all. Reaching out, you try to insert yourself physically between the two of them but can only wrap your fingers around Johnny’s wrist, feeling the strength poised in the tendons. 

“Johnny,” you say, loudly to be heard over the sounds of the pub. “Come on. Let’s go, yeah? Simon…Simon’s out in the car.” 

“Simon?” Johnny let’s go of the guy’s shirt, his bad mood evaporating as quickly as it had manifested. He nudges his way out from behind the table, all politeness. Once free, he stumbles into a woman in a slinky dress who gives him a look that could melt glass. 

“I’m so sorry,” you apologize to her, wrapping an arm around Johnny’s waist and doing your best to keep him steady. “He’s an idiot, and he’s drunk. You look amazing by the way—“

“Control your boyfriend,” she snaps. 

“I will,” you promise, guiding Johnny away from her and into the crowd. 

His nose brushes the shell of your ear, breath fanning across your neck as he says with a laugh in his voice: “I’m not yer boyfriend.” 

You flush. “Thanks for letting me know, Johnny. I had no clue.” 

He says something back, some Scottish phrase, his accent so thick you couldn’t understand the words even if you knew them. 

“English, please,” you mutter. 

“Je-sus,” he groans, dragging the words out into multiple syllables. He takes your chin in his hand and squeezes your cheeks a little. “You’re just like him. ‘English, MacTavish’. Ha!”

You bat his hand away. 

“He’s been rubbing off on you,” Johnny mutters, laughing a little. Beneath his breath (though far more loudly than he likely intends), he adds: “In more ways than one, I imagine.”

Your face goes hot. “Johnny, stop talking.” 

The two of you exit the pub out into the cool night air. It seems to sober Johnny some, as he takes in deep, gulping breaths. He walks a little steadier as the two of you cross the street, and by the time you’ve made it to your car, he has shrugged you off altogether (even if he is still a little unstable on his feet). He stands outside the car for a moment before opening one of the rear doors. 

“What are you doing?”

“Rather sit back here.” 

“I’m not your cabbie.”

“Strange manner of dress if you were,” he says snidely, slipping into the backseat. 

In the driver’s seat, you let yourself have a small breakdown. You grip the wheel tightly, taking a few deep breaths of your own, searching for inner peace. You thought that you and Johnny had a tentative truce after that day at Skin Deep, but clearly he is still holding some grudge. Your search for peace turns up empty. 

“Sorry I lied about Simon being here. I just really needed you to leave the pub,” you explain politely. 

“Knew you were lying,” Johnny says from the darkness of the backseat. He sounds remarkably like Simon: brooding and irritable. “He’s got no idea you’re here, does he? He’d never let you come alone.” 

You frown. “No. He doesn’t. He’s sleeping and I didn’t want to wake him.” 

“Nightmares?” 

“Huh?” 

Johnny leans forward. You glance at him in the rear view mirror. “I said, Has he been having more nightmares?” 

You didn’t know anything about Simon having nightmares. That sour feeling in your belly was back, the one that made you feel like you would never truly know Simon, not the way his friends did. 

“No,” you say, a little defensive. “He’s been working on this sleeve for a client. Staying up way too late to finish it on time.” 

“Aye. Nightmares. Anything else is just an excuse he’s telling himself—and you.” 

Done with the conversation, you turn the key in the ignition and pull out into the street. “What’s your address?” 

“Doesn’t matter.” 

“Why’s that?” 

“Left my keys at the bar.” 

“Goddamnit.” 

You turn towards Simon’s apartment. “Then you’re staying with us—with Simon. You can sleep on his couch and get your keys in the morning; I’m sure he won’t care.” 

“Are you staying there?” 

“Yes.” 

Johnny mutters something under his breath. You consider yourself lucky not to have heard it. For a while, the two of you drive in silence. Then Johnny says: 

“You never came for your second nipple.” 

“It’s only just been six months.” 

“So you’re due for an appointment then, aren’t you?” 

You steel yourself, gripping the wheel tightly at ten-and-two. “Actually, I’m going to someone else.”

Johnny’s seatbelt unclicks. He hovers at your shoulder bringing with him burning warmth and the scent of whisky. When he talks, his breath brushes your neck, fury tangible in every syllable. “Who is it? Who the hell is he taking you to? Darcelina? Astrid? Dusty? Whoever it is, consider the appointment canceled. No one is piercing you but me.”

“You don’t get that privilege,” you grit out between your teeth. “Not anymore, not after the way you’ve treated me!”

“Oh, did I offend you?” he breathes, clutching one hand at his breast. “Not falling down at your feet? Not worshippin’ the ground you walk on?” 

“Fuck you, Soap! I wanted to be friends.” Your voice cracks embarrassingly. Suddenly the road goes blurry. You blink rapidly, forcing yourself to calm down—you’re driving for fuck’s sake. You swallow past the lump in your throat, the silence interrupted by rustling as Johnny leans forward again in the backseat, trying to get a look at your face in the passing streetlights. 

“Fuck,” Johnny groans. “Are you crying?”

“No!”

“You are. Fuckin’—pull over, before you get us killed.” 

Keen embarrassment only has your eyes watering more, until you have no choice but to do as he asks, pulling over to hastily parallel park and throw on your hazard lights. You let your elbows rest against the steering wheel, face in your hands. His words echo in your head, said in that stupid Scottish brogue: not falling down at your feet? Not worshippin’ the ground you walk on? Are those really the things he thought you wanted? Is that the sort of impression you gave to Johnny, to Ghost’s other friends? 

The backseat door opens and Johnny climbs out. A small part of you hopes that he will walk himself home—and good riddance. But he horrifies you by walking all the way around to the driver’s side of the car and tugging on the door handle until you begrudgingly unlock the doors. 

“C’mon,” he says, trying to pull you out of the car with your seatbelt still on. 

“What’re you—?”

“Just—wouldya—so stubborn—“ he drunkenly leans over you and mashes his fingers against the button of your seatbelt until it releases. For that brief moment, he is a warm weight across your lap, bringing with him the scent of cologne and whisky. Then he pulls you out of the car—and into his arms. It’s a tight, full hug, chest-to-chest, not bone crushing per se, but all-encompassing. 

You don’t realize how badly you need it from him until you’re getting it. 

“You’re such a dick,” you groan against his shoulder, sniffling.

“Aye,” he says, swaying a little on his feet, like the two of you are dancing. “But I’m right. We cannot be friends. So you’ve got to let this go, alright? Just breathe out 'n let it go.”

“I don’t understand,” you mutter. “He wants us to be friends.” 

“He doesn’t know what he wants,'' Johnny says, one hand rubbing gently at your shoulder blades. “No more crying. It’s out of your hands. Aye?”

You shake your head, hands gripping his shirt. 

But your tears slow and eventually stop. Cars pass occasionally. One of them honks at the sight of you both entwined on the side of the road, rolls down their window to let their passenger yell something suggestive, and it makes your face go hot. Johnny pulls away, nearly stumbling out into the road to give the car both middle fingers as it peels away. He slips on the damp asphalt and goes down hard on his side, taking the skin off his elbow and palm. 

“Fuck, I’m hammered,” he laughs. 

“Clearly,” you say, struggling to help him up and into the backseat. 

Once in the driver’s seat again, you feel exhausted, emptied, like a washcloth wrung out and left to dry. The drive back to the apartment is silent, and when you’re in the parking lot, neither of you make a move to get out of the car. 

You warn Johnny: “Simon’s asleep, so be quiet inside.” 

Johnny warns you sleepily: “Ghost is right there.”

There’s a tap on the glass of your window. It nearly makes you shriek—but it is only Simon, half-smoked cigarette in his fingers, bundled up outside the car door. You roll down the window sheepishly. 

“Need a little help?” he asks, taking a drag and turning his head so the smoke doesn’t touch you. His eyes are on Johnny in the backseat. 

You hold up your fingers with just a smidge of space between them. 

[yourcasualreligiousfanatic]

Watching community. On the 4tb season rn. Just wanted to put down some of my observations. The pilot characterisation is drastically different compared to the later seasons. Abed is functioning(he can read time, when later on he can't??? Tf??), but special quirky funny smart kinda way. Idk he seemed so much more mature compared to the later seasons. Dreamatorium, and all his schizo tendencies infantanlised him too much. Troy was the American football start still hung up about his high school life, young cool dumb and kinda stereotypically normal. He was rooted in reality, and could actually be a real person. But then they turned him into the other schizo sheep for their rainman duo. Dumbed him down and made him into a different character. Annie was supposed to be the young naive insecure girl unsure of sex...?ish. Like sheltered and unsure. She was worried about her social standing, popularity and shit. Shallow stuff, but again, real and relatable. Then she turned into... Bruh I don't even know. I guess one can argue that she grew up, and I guess Ill acclet that. She ok if guess, believable character growth that I honestly don't mind. Britta was smart, cold, strong, SMART OK?! she was independent and knew her worth. She was cooooollll as a cucumber. Like. What happened??😭😭😭😭 They made her so WEIRD WTF. Like she was sexy and cool bro, then she became dependent on guys(blade... Like, NAHHHH)and became dumb as shit. What the fuck, they did her so dirty, like frrrr lobotomised her. Like she was the girl you were intimidated of, but was still attracted to, and knew you had to put in a lot of effort into charming, but then she became some brain-dead retard. LMAOOO. Not exactly complaining about all of these changes btw, just kinda confused and a little sad. But wtv. Shirley was kinda the same. And Pierce too. Made him dumber tho, but maybe that's cuz he's just getting older and more senile. Idk, he's kinda funny.😭😭idk why ppl hate him so much, (yeah, he's homophobic, annoying asf, dumb, old, racist, everythingphobic, but that's funny bro, grow a thicker skin, Jesus fuck. Just cause your funny little show is full of cannon rainmans and rupauls, you don't get to filter out the guy.) think he's needed in the dynamic and he adds the flavour. Ppls shouldn't excluded him from their fanarts and stupid fanon shit I've been seeing. Idk, I think he's part of the group, they clearly care for him, and he's an important part, so idk. I guess ppl just seeing and selectively talking about what they want to see kind of pisses me off. But also, it's just a show, so I really shouldn't be so pressed, it's really not that deep. Ppl can do whatever they want, idc, and even if I did, no one else does. So. Jeff. Side note, he can stab me, beat me, gaslight me, manipulate me, hurt me, punch me, kick me, and I wouldn't mind. He cute asf.😭😭 And he was so cool and smart and aloof in the beginning. Twisting your words around like THAT. SO COOL. I have a thing for smart white guys with a little scruff and windblown hair. (House, and Lucifer spn, etc...) But yeah, he gets kind of lame later on. I hate that he starts having a heart and CARING for the ppl around him. Like....Ew....no. I wanted him to go back to being a cool heartless lawyer who cares about superficial things and thrives with other soulless bastards. Mmmm. Now that's sexy. Idk, he got so.... Lame. Lame lame lame. Not cool. No. Got less smart too. Hmmmm. There might be a direct correlation between coolness and intelligence.

Also, the banter of the show was smart and interesting and intricate and funny as hell. I'm not saying it still isn't(at least in season 4), but I feel like they put in a little less effort. The pilot was so good, so many iconic moments in ONE episode, so many good jokes I got pulled in LITERALLY the first scene. That's how good and consistent the jokes were.

Overall, I like what I'm seeing, really really funny show, so much fucking better than SUPERNATURAL. YES, IM STILL PISSED I WASTED SO MUCH TIME ON THAT HOT PILE OF GARBAGE. I love how much reference they put in there, the cinematography, filming styles, stylistic choices..... SOOOOOOO GOOODDD. I could cum, I love shows that do this type of shit. Documentary one ep, heist format, law and order, courtroom style drama, who dunnits, all so funny and Samer, they way they rewrite all these tropes to fit into a fucking COMMUNITY COLLEGE SETTING. WTFFF SO GOOD. I give it, so far at least, a 8.5/10. Yay.