#the balance has to come down
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sophia only rang twice while i was at my friend's for lunch and the new girl only rang a couple of times as well, see, annual leave isn't so bad
#the new girl rang about some invoice and i'm like saying 'i don't even know what bas you're varying' and#then she rang later asking how to delete said invoice#like the jan-mar stuff isn't even issued yet#i don't even think he has to pay anything yet?????#just a notice that he will get an instalment end of march/start of april#but i wonder if we can cancel the registration now#there's an option to cancel/update#can we do that#stop the payg instalment from occurring???#also it's funny - if i were anyone else (a normal person) i would be annoyed about this week being 35 annual leave hours#but i have an overabundance of annual leave hours and they all know that so i don't even care#the balance has to come down#but also they all know so i'm pretty sure sophia is just ringing me without even thinking about it#she KNOWS i won't get annoyed and demand to get the proper payment for the hours worked this week#which is why they do it#i don't know
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so sick and tired of the “jedi are an evil and abusive cult that steals children” as if half the reason they weren’t protecting these children is bc sith were out killing them or TURNING THEM INTO SITH. they weren’t even STEALING children to begin with I thought we all knew that was Palpatine’s game not Yoda’s.
#i hate star wars fans i truly do#they wanna pick apart the jedi like of course there are mistakes and wrong doings#bUT THE SITH ARE RIGHT THERE#trying to build the narrative that anakin was abused by the jedi is absolutely crazy when his actions and thoughts were all his own#and GROOMED by palpatine#the only reason people want to pin them as bad people is because yoda could call out anakin’s bad behavior#that and they didnt promote him to master right away because oh im the chosen one i should be#like you need to PROVE you are the chosen one and that you WILL bring balance to the force and NOT DESTROY IT#THATS FHE WHOLE PROPHECY#AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY THEY WERE CAREFUL WITH ANAKIN???#and then the oh well they make you supress feelings#nO#THEY#DONT#they make you surpress attachments so that if it comes DOWN to it you will save the many and not just risk it all to save the ONE#disney has done damage to the star wars community i swear#saw a tik tok comment section where they said the council is like the christian church#lost my MIND#well the jedi fit cult criteria!!#wow! star wars fans find out WHAT A GROUP OF RELIGION IS#LITERALLY ANY GROUP OF RELIGION CAN BE CALLED A CULT NOT EVERY CULT IS BAD#im sorry i cant stand it anymore#star wars#star wars tcw#auxxrat yap#jedi council#jedi#star wars legends
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something happening on a mission, something personal that has soap spiralling; panic and rage making him reckless, thoughtless, and ghost has to draw the line
“you’re compromised johnny; you know what that means?”
“you’re not pulling me out,” soap immediately snarls. he turns on him and ghost barely recognises him; venomous fear turning his eyes to unyielding ice. "you're not sidelining me; i need to be in this-!"
but ghost has never been afraid of venom; spat or dripped straight from bared fangs.
he snakes out a hand grip the back of his neck, jerking him in a rough shake. "if you can't think, you can't be a soldier," he growls and he flinches like he's been struck.
his lips quiver as they twist in a sneer and he wrenches, trying to free himself of his hold.
ghost doesn't let him.
"it means you give your body to me because your head ain't fucking attached to it anymore."
soap stills, body trembling beneath his hand as he sucks in shaking breaths.
he tightens his grip, pulling him closer and digs his forehead hard into his. “it means you give yourself to me so i can have the weapon that you are and use you the way you're meant to be used."
the ice in soap's eyes fractures.
ghost’s voice drops to a whisper, spoken only to johnny, not this facade of vengeance and pain, and wills it to reach him through the glaciers.
“so i can keep you safe ‘til it’s done and i can bring you back.”
#in my head its bc graves abducts his sister and is using her as hostage to draw him out knowing ghost will always follow him#but the intensity and intimacy of saying ‘you cant trust your mind not to betray you so let me be in charge of your body until you can’#after what happened to tommy he could never deny johnny his right to save his sister#but its bc of what happened to tommy that he knows he cant let him do it alone with only his rage to guide him#hes more likely to get himself killed and ghost wont live through that#so he has to balance it#and the only way he knows how is to completely shut down soap’s mind until hes no more than instinct and muscle memory#if he cant think practically then dont let him think at all#reduce him to a place where he can only follow orders#and when its finally over and his sister is safe and graves is dead#only then will he drag johnny back up to the surface#he’ll do it even if it means dragging him kicking and screaming back to humanity#instead of letting him sink in the depths where nothing hurts. theres no fear down there. no pain. only order#and thats the risk ghost took sending johnny to that place but he only did it bc he would stop at nothing to bring him back#and help him through the after#the breakdown. the rush of panic and rage and relief and anguish johnnys been supressing on his order#it was his word that turned johnny into a ghost#and its his touch that brings him back to the man#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#ghoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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came back just to post these. okay bye
#gbf#belifaa#did you get triple zero (summon)? the sanfaa scissoring summon? SSS? i sierotixed it. It was awesome. Everythung in gbf is going right for#e except for the fact that i had to sieroticket it but its alright. just the notion of so much lucilius is just enough to put me back on my#feet again it’s almsot unreal how much lucilius-centric stuff theyve pushed out the past few months. his GBVSR debut. his summon.#Omg when I saw the gbfes fashion show i was a few seconds behind zen and she told me “You wont believe this” and I was like “WHAT? BELIEVE#WHAT? WHAT? WHAYT DO YOU MEAN” and the official lucilius cosplayer walked out in his robes it felt unreal unreal like it was seeing my onl#dreams come true after years and years of being like Theres no way they’d do that. There’s no way they’d make a cosplay for lucilius in his#robes because hes in his void outfit forever. BUT THEY DID…..AND THERE WAS BLOOD UNDER HIS SKIN….AND HIS LIPS WERE GLOSSED…AND HE HAD A LIT#LE BIT OF TAREME AND TSURIME (TARIME) ACTION ON HIS EYES AND EVERYTIME HE WALKED HIS ROBES KIND OF FLUTTERED AS HE SHUFFLED ALONG I HAD TO#SIT ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR lay down on the bathroom floor and I almpst puked from how nauseous it made me i was OVERJOYED BEYOND MY PHYSICAL#LIMITATIONS OF HAPPINESS . I WAS SO HAPPY. THIS YEAR HAS BEEN UTTERLY MISERABLE FOR ME AND I HAVE NOT BEEN THIS DEPRESSED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL#BUT SEEING LUCILIUS like this genuinely blew me off my socks . I don’t know if i should be 100% thankful because I’ve been trying to figure#out how to balance my emotional state with the media i consume but#I think i really needed it. thank you lucilius for ending my 2023
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You and your annoying uni friend slash occasional roommate Endo who likes to crash at your place unprompted and unannounced at random times. Despite your pouts and groans you enjoy his presence as much as he does.
He’s an impressive artist with wonderful line work, his newest works always has you waiting to see the end result, watching with great focus as he works on them on your floor in the dead of the night
And he’s great company too. A beer cracked open, snacks all around and it’s just the two of you shittalking others, gossiping and being mean just because you can and oh—
is it not fun to spend time with him like that- to the point he has become perhaps the closest to you. Each others confidants, secret keepers, the number one victim to drag when the other one is trying something new or going to a new place.
So it’s no surprise when you whine about how boring and lonely things have gotten lately and you just miss a good ol heated making out session. Maybe a little handsy if türe feeling up to it, maybe even a little grinding if the night looks promising.
Before the two of you know, your hot breaths are all over each other, Endo’s hands at both sides, pulling you into his lap with strength and pressing you against that aching spot in his pants just to relieve himself as you bite into his neck and mark him up in red
#I am…. not ok#Art student Endo whose status as a student is hanging on by a thread bc as a genius as he is he is a nuisance to his teachers LMAO#but he’s so damn good at what he does and how he does so the university can’t risk dispelling a prodigy like him despite his bad choices in#life and friends (chika)… you don’t know who chika is exactly but it’s alright Endo will introduce the two of you when the time comes#one time boredom turns into a second time drink mistake and before you know you’re fwb or so you claim but you’re exclusive as hell#no one dares to go anywhere near you after what Endo has done to other fools who dared to do the same mistake#and you get so possessive dismissive and down right mean to Endo when he even looks someone else’s way— he loves to feel your nails dig into#his skin and he will make sure to find a good balance between provoking you just enough and not have you punish him by leaving him high and#dry for days… weeks even sometimes#endo yamato#wind breaker#endo x reader#college au#wind breaker x reader
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oh pallas and agnes power dynamic you really are SO unbelievably fucked,,,,,
#haven’t been able to write in days so i am posting instead. forgive me.#it’s just so. like. okay pallas has all of the material power here that’s not a question they’ve got much stronger magic they#know how the library works they’re directly placed in a mentorship role at the beginning re agnes she depends on them#for everything.#but also#pallas is very much Not Doing Well mentally (<- understatement of the century) and is pathologically incapable of processing their own#emotions related to this AT ALL. and in the process of trying very very hard to get to Know pallas (so pallas will Like her so pallas will#want to keep her alive) agnes kind of comes to understand a lot of pallas’s issues even better than pallas does and pallas starts to depend#on her for emotional support in a way they NEVER have with anyone else.#and pallas’s ability to show vulnerability has been soooo wrecked beyond belief that to them doing things like sharing part#of their backstory and being visibily hurt around someone is tantamount to placing a knife in someone’s hand and#then circling all of their weak points with a giant red marker while going ‘HEY STAB HERE’#so in their mind by doing this they’re giving agnes an IMMENSE amount of power over them like enough to kill them dead even though very#little else has changed about their dynamic. so pallas believes that they’re standing on much more equal ground then they really are#and agnes partly believes it too she thinks that by seeing this much of how broken down pallas is she’s finally found the balance in their#relationship she’s finally found a way to make it stable. and yeah. to some extent this is true!#pallas DOES listen to agnes more than any other person agnes IS the first person in years to understand them this much pallas’s dependence#on her for their mental wellbeing DOES give her some measure of power over them. but that power is given out on pallas’s terms is the thing#whether they’re aware of that or not. agnes wouldn’t have anything if pallas didn’t actively choose to be vulnerable with her there’d be#no way she’d learn about anything no way she’d get to play this role in their life#they believe that this thing is much more equal much more sustainable than it really is (pallas especially) and they’re#literally all each other have#grabs your face are you listening THEYRE ALL EACH OTHER HAVE IN THIS PLACE THEYRE BOTH IN SUCH HORRIFIC SITUATIONS AND THEY R EATING#EACHOTGER TO SURVIVE!!!!#head in fucking hands#wip: ghost story#pallas and agnes
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Cass at a therapist trying to explain why her scars aren't self harm like yes not all of them were from her father but the rest were just from natural moments like when she deliberately chose to stand in front of a knife throwing assassin rather than risk the tiny one per cent chance he could hit the people running away, or the time where stabbing herself in the leg was just the easiest and quickest way to break the mind control of the latest villain. Her pain tolerance is so high it barely even felt like a pinch and if she'd chosen another way that didn't leave a scar maybe she would have been too late and someone could have died. So don't worry, she doesn't self harm. These are all just Very Reasonable Scars and the only reason she has them is that she wasn't Good Enough to not cause them. Why is the therapist writing more notes and scheduling in a year's worth of sessions. Cass just explained why she was fine.
#tw self harm#dc#cassandra cain#dc rambles#Cass knows not to be so suicidal that it drags The Mission down#but look me in the eyes and tell me 17 yo Cass wouldn't find smaller less blatantly destructive ways to hurt herself#All of the family would take a bullet rather than let it hit a civilian but when it comes to the crowd risk vs personal risk balance#Cass goes further than even Bruce#the people must be protected she must not fail the mission and any harm to herself is not even worth thinking about#she's fine she's the best fighter in the world a few more scars are nothing#I like to think she does better after dying but that mentality will be hard to shake even when she no longer has a death wish
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Luck and Cue!! I love those guys!
I'll start with what they do! Cue handles the more professional stuff, and inner workings of the family, while Luck is more like an ambassador, checking in on local business they're "partnered" with, befriending even those they're not, doing his best to make Aster a name with predominantly positive association for most.
Honestly not too dissimilar to how the Mafiafell brothers' work dynamic functions, too, except Cue handles the more official publicity type of stuff, and Luck usually handles the, uh. "Sensitive matters".
As for their relationship, it's still pretty good, if maybe a bit more distant than classic US. They do still look out for each other, that loyalty is absolutely still there, but things are just...a little stilted between them. Almost not as close as brothers, sort of more like very good old friends, but not entirely. A little hard to explain, but they do know each other very well, even with the rift that'd grown after having the torch passed to them.
Luck is a bit of a brat and loves to do things for the sole purpose of annoying Cue, however he learned very early on Cue wouldn't bail him out if he really wanted to teach him a lesson and is careful about taking things "too far".
Cue, while caring deeply for his brother, feels like entertaining his more rebellious nature is just coddling or humoring him, and he doesn't want to encourage that, so he can be a bit hard on him, but whose to say that isn't deserved?
They tend to step on each others toes, and neither really wanted to live this kind of life and sort of had it forced on them unexpectedly, but they cope with that in entirely different ways. Though it's still significantly better for both than it'd be if either had to do it alone, that's for sure
#I am a bit biased toward these two amongst all the mafia brothers#I have like seven different versions of ms as far as ''plot'' goes bc I rotate them often#Luck is kind of like somewhere between Stretch and Copper if Copper didn't suck and Stretch didn't have the self worth of an old shoe#don't get me wrong he still has a lot of self image problems and can be a jerk. but he’s definitely more...idk. well balanced than those 2?#for the most part#MS definitely leans way more toward the 'seriousness' of MT than MF so it's generally pretty lighthearted. generally.#I like Cue a lot but he is lowkey very icy and doesn't let a lot of people in despite coming across so charismatic#he even iced out Luck which. yeah totally didn't cause and deeper more serious issues between them or anything. lol. lmao even#it was complicated and they were both way too young to have to deal w/ all the shit that went down before becoming heads of the family#ty for asking !! I hope these answers sufficed ✨#clear sky sunset#krzakok#sort of. close enough#sun spots#mafiaswap#mafiaswap papyrus#mafiaswap sans#ms luck#ms cue
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Maybe I need to write Cardinal's Map so there's a contemporary book about the power of literature and reaching for a world beyond the mundane that isn't wall-to-wall inspirational platitudes with vague worldbuilding about the battle between the forces of good vs. evil.
#i say as though i would be able to avoid trite inspirational platitudes and vague worldbuilding#anyway my driving-filled day had me listening to nearly half of 'nightfall in the garden of deep time'#and i do like it#but it seems to be an awfully long and wordy book for a very simple story#(maybe it's the author's librivox-ish narration and my increased listening speed making it worse but it's still a thing)#anyway the vague inspirational messages about the power of creativity are getting to be a bit much#especially combined with worldbuilding that's mostly cryptic statements about how important it is for art to be good true and beautiful#which is a good thing! it'd just be nice if it was even a little subtle about it sometimes#i feel like this suffers coming after the latest amanda dykes book#with a lot of beauty but also a lot of characters who spoke solely in artsy inspirational platitudes#and coming after that one mg time travel book#that was supposed to be about a bookshop bringing in people from across time#but turned out to mostly be 'books are good which means this bookshop is full of good magic that needs to balance evil magic'#which was very stupid and didn't make use of the bookshop part of the premise at all#and anyway those similarities are dragging this book down for me#actually 'once a queen' did a pretty decent job with these kinds of things#worldbuilding kind of vague and metaphory but overall still an actual world#and characters who learned lessons without everyone in their life speaking only to metaphorically discuss the theme#anyway the actual book in question has me invested#but also rushing through it to get to the story beats because it's taking too long to get there#starting to suspect this would have made a good novella#because we know she's going to have a creative epiphany so dragging out the metaphors only hurts things
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I think the writing is gentle, often funny, and sustained (overall) but it’s the acting and the chemistry that takes it to the next level.
#crash landing on you#which is often the way I find with my favorite love stories#in movies/tv shows#like reylo. comes down to the acting. especially Adam’s (though Daisy is wonderful too)#because you can actually tell a love story through facial expressions/shift in voices/body language#all of those can and do communicate love and personality. interplay and the necessary balance that makes for a great love story#and man they are soooo good. especially her (I mean especially both of them)#but she sets such a high standard. and the way her face flickers between so many different shades of feeling#and not just feeling but personality#instant layers to who she is. and he responds to them all. and you know WHY he does#you know why he’s completely in her chokehold#he’s completely caught by her personality. and she is caught by the ways in which he takes care of her/expresses his love through action#(which is ultimately his personality too)#but in the way of many of my favorite love stories she just has to exist and he has to—-wants to!—do the work#they’re also silly and cute and in Situations where they can Display Behaviors (positive)#but like. it comes down to the quality of the acting creating 3-dimensional people and real love at the same time#I am now wandering from the point#and rambling. but man!#anyway I’m going to go back to bed now
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have 2 make a choice between a part-time job and a full-time job. and well. i hate making choices
#honestly it all comes down to which one would be the better balance with my masters program#also the part time job is more easy going and less emotionally demanding but the full time has benefits so…..#allana rants
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THE BEST OF THE NORMANDY SUMMIT
Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Primarch Adrien Victus, Dalatrass Linron, and Urdnot Wrex With: Comm. Specialist Samantha Traynor Commander, you need to keep Cerberus at bay- I can't overstate what a victory a treaty between the Turians and the Krogan would be for the Alliance. We need all the help we can get... Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard#urdnot wrex#samantha traynor#mass effect#mass effect 3#me3#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#finally got around to gif'ing the sur'kesh footage and i ended up splitting it in half bc the summit just had too many good wrex moments#by best of: the normandy summit i really just mean best of: wrex bc this is literally just every wrex moment from the summit LMAO#i was gonna stuff this in with the priority sur'kesh set but literally when i had like 10 gifs of just the summit i was like#sur'kesh is getting the mars split bc wrex has too many good moments to just start cutting half of them out tbh#also victus in his fancy primarch robes with THAT VOICE??? i'm not down bad for most turians but DAMN victus#maybe we talk about how fucking real he was for hearing wrex say that the krogan were the ones who spilled their blood to stop the rachni#and immediately looked at the dalatrass and said that wrex was fucking right#and then said that the dalatrass was helping wrex or she'd never see another friendly turian again?? like he's a fucking ICON for that tbh#and soph in the dress blues????? HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT (mass effect women in uniforms and armor 😍)#her angy face coming back at the dalatrass to defend wrex is everything to me#and wrex's expressions during the summit are so fucking good#there's so much raw emotion on his face that you can see and you can tell how like angry and frustrated he is with the dalatrass and victus#and how much he's holding back!! especially when linron insults him!! when she basically calls his people useless!!#like there's just a thousand+ years of pent up krogan rage about the genophage just boiling behind wrex's eyes#and he somehow manages to keep somewhat cool during the summit? like obvi wrex isn't a thousand+ years old but he's his people's rep#he's such a fucking interesting character especially during this scene when you think about a thousand+ years of the genophage#bc you get to watch him balance keeping his cool in a political situation he's a leader in#vs. remembering he's a krogan in the presence of the leadership of the people who literally created a sterility plague for his people??#and the raw emotions of that for him???#wrex my love you deserve the world for dealing with the summit in the cool-headed way that you did bc it was 100% bullshit for you#canon soph would have thrown the dalatrass off the normandy so fucking fast for insulting wrex and his people and you cannot change my mind
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love season 2. i'm concussions! and i'm psychic visions! the headache brothers
#s2 might be my favorite full season hands down even though some of my favorite single episodes/emotional arcs come later#which is weird bc it also has a lot of stuff in it i DON'T like (the way gordon was handled. some annoying motws. et cetera)#but overall it's well paced entertaining has a great score as per usual for the early years . and balances intrigue with grief and fear#and they're SO headaches. the advil consumption in that household (carhold?) is in the double digits daily . ulcers forming as we speak#also croatoan is in this season! one of THE most dread-filled eps they ever did#plus of course what is & what should never be (goes without saying) all hell breaks loose part one last five minutes (goes WITHOUT saying)#etc etc#like you can tell there's a lot of gamble here but it's in a good way#um. the wizard van telepath. victor hi victor . sorry about these horrible boys . houses of the holy!! there's like zero complete misses#i think gabriel is annoying but the CONCEPT of his first episode was still great. don't love the early jodean dynamic but i like how it end#they spend a lot of time genuinely having to deal with The Law etc . the stuff that happens in this one more than even s1 sets the tone#for like everything that follows. for better or worse. the cycle of death/sacrifice/rebirth/sacrifice . the beginning of the religion angle#the expansion of the world (for a while anyway)#i'd go so far as to call it 'good television'#spn
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Was tagged by @oceancamp to post my current five favorite songs! (They should invent a stages-of-grief-esque model that encompasses and accurately describes both types of anguish I had to go through making this list - the one of limiting myself to only five songs, and the one of trying to put as little videogame music on here as possible so that I don't end up looking like an absolute goddamn geek, which... I am... Oh well!)
Thank you so much for tagging me - here are the songs!
Heaven Pierce Her - War Without Reason
Tatsuro Yamashita - Love Space
This specific arrangement of Death And Republic + Meet Again
Winger - Junkyard Dog (Tears On Stone)
The Protomen - Light Up The Night
Is it courtesy to tag other people after you've been tagged in a post like this? If that's the case, I'll tag @spiralled-fury, @solradguy, @swamppossum, @five-by-five, @northstarring, @ineedmoredragons and @tbonechessor!
#logs#ya don't have to participate if you don't want to‚ from what i've gathered - it's all just for fun anyway :]#The link to Yamashita's song is actually a link to a website that hosts city pop songs‚ since those keep getting taken down on YouTube due#to the strictness of Japan's copyright laws with regards to music. Uploads of Yamashita's songs in particular get taken down quite#frequently... The rest are either Bandcamp or YouTube (in case of Junkyard Dog) links#Very out-of-character of me not to put a Кино song on here‚ haha#I had a hard time deciding whether to put HOLD BACK THE NIGHT or Light Up The Night here‚ but ultimately decided on Light Up The Night#because... hoo boy#okay storytime. i've known of the protomen since somewhere around 2021. got The Good Doctor in my recommended feed‚ clicked on it because#i thought the album cover was cool + the title was appealing‚ but i never really listened to anything theirs beyond that song after that.#fast forward to 2022. be me‚ watching the greatest videoessay on planet earth (Steak Bentley's Metal Gear Solid 4 Was A Mistake).#the fucking MONTAGE comes on‚ and I fall in love with my second Protomen song. second fast forward to 2023 going into 2024‚ finally got#around to playing the Violence update. i learn of the name of level 7-2. the widest‚ most mischievous grin appears on my face.#i enter the level‚ proclaim ''ULTRAKlLL IS NOW A STEAK BENTLEY REFERENCE'' and blast the song as i get my ass beat by every single thing in#that level.#and let me tell you. getting mollywhopped ten thousand times by the FUCKING GUTTERTANK TRIO AT THE END OF THE LEVEL WAS. not a pleasant#experience. but the song made it better. :) (i played the level before the balance patch came out and uh let's just say i had more deaths on#that level than on 2gabe and 1gabe. SEVENTY-FOUR. FUCKING. RESTARTS. JESUS /CHRIST/.#goodness how i yearn to make a 3d animation of v1 going through 7-4 with that song in the background as a tribute to the man himself but#alas i am a student who has everything in the world but time#thanks for the tag again!! ^^
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a large amount of time I've been spending on -untitled undefined scope original fiction project- since the last time I posted about it has been trying to develop the protagonist concept I came up with last summer or whatever into like, a character that would feel real and era appropriate.
it's fun research to do. naturally a lot of the details I assigned to her are things that I already think are cool, so it's been a lot of fun trying to trace her traits back through the relatively recent past, getting reminded of how much things have changed, or where the gaps in my intuition are, and then doing a flurry of reading to get a sense for exactly how someone like her and the people around her could have happened and what her life was probably like leading up to her present day. hopefully this results in some good good verisimilitude.
#I wrote a short story from her perspective over the holidays and then didn't know how to continue it#and then I got distracted by real life stuff for a few months#I forget if I posted about that#and then I've been picking through archive dot org for the last few weeks looking at this stuff#the last big rabbit hole was trying to get a better feel for era appropriate ts/tv subculture#the current one I'm looking at is how she would've gotten into language learning and how that would've worked#nettle has been prodding me about the setting thing lately so I've been thinking about that more too#probably the biggest hurdle by far is figuring out how I want to play that#and how I want the thing to be divided up#since the original coc scenario I'm developing this out of is centered on a flight from LA to honolulu#and the airport dungeon was definitely meant to be a hook for a larger campaign#some amount of it is going to cover protag lady's failed life in LA and some of it is going to be worse things happening in hawaii#but it's like. how much do I want to balance it one way or the other#and realistically how much does the aesthetics of 20th century air travel add to the story#besides me personally thinking it's compelling ofc#a lot of what I find compelling about hawaii is that it's an east/west cultural crossroads and realistically that's also true of socal#and I can wax poetic about socal as much as I want without worrying all that much about mishandling something#and there's also a lot of socal specific history along similar parallels to pull from that I'm more familiar with#I guess it comes down to whether curiosity re: 'doing it right' is enough of a motivator to do the increased amount of research#which I guess it has so far with the above character details. so hopefully that will continue#but it also feels like using machine translation a bit yknow. it's hard to know how effectively I'll be able to sanity check#although depending on where this goes I might be able to get other people involved to sensitivity read down the line#with most of the creative things I do I just have a tendency to always rely really heavily on figuring things out myself#I also want protag lady to have a Cool Car and idk how to get that from point a to point b narratively#this is like an entire second or third post's worth of tags but I don't feel like unfucking this so whatever. suffer. I guess.
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"When did you have your last abortion? Until you know everything that goes with it, don't you dare lecture me or anybody about–" "I know what goes with it! Obviously I haven't experienced the physical part, but I know the overwhelming emotion that goes with it. I know the sense of loss, I know the doubt, the guilt, so please, don't–" BOSTON LEGAL 5.08 "Roe"
#this scene guts me like a fish#alan AND shirley shouting at each other on the verge of tears. why are my parents fighting#and watching this whole episode post-roe is so....... ugh#james spader#alan shore#boston legal#*#this whole season is the most overtly political and there are fantastic nuanced debates VERY current to the times like. down to the week#and alan the Democrat (as a proxy for liberalism) usually* comes out on top (though maybe that's a matter of perspective)#but this ep is especially interesting bc abortion is suuuuch a divisive issue they still come down relatively conservatively.#blegal pushed many envelopes on network TV in the bush era and the abortion eps went further than most but not too far#and notice there weren't any fourth wall jokes about getting letters in this ep. but I bet they did!#ANYWAY my polisci degree and characters as proxies for political parties aside. back to the boston freak#you could say it's a cop-out OR that it's realistically complicated but I like how alan balances his feelings#he feels the weight of the procedures he's been part of personally he has questions but he will fight to the bone for the legal right#fine upstanding gentleman. principled supportive man <3 I want him to get me pregnant#we'll keep it!
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