#the bad thoughts are quiet now
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Okay but does Peri KNOW that Dev has a robotic leg when he shows up? Something about the fact that Peri's wand is a cane and the fact that Dev could have kept his leg and just had a cane for the rest of his life instead tickles my brain.
I mean he doesn't know immediately, he wasn't like briefed or anything, but he basically lives in Dev's house so he definitely finds out. Peri doesn't comment on or react to it all though really, there's no reason for him to think anything of it, plenty of people have missing limbs, a lot of people are born without them, it doesn't necessarily mean anything sinister happened. He had no reason to pry or ask and I think Peri's lack of reaction to it helped Dev feel a bit more comfortable in his skin. (Not by much but.. a little bit.)
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fop dev#dev dimmadome#dale dimmadome#fop dale#fop Nature AU#<- I might rename it to something else idk give me ideas#LITERALLY thinking about the ableism implications of my AU so hard#Dale doesn't even stop to think that his son might not want a prosthetic leg#(Within the context of the AU the technology is good enough its basically indistinguishable from a real leg aside from lack of sensation)#he's basically deciding FOR his son that having his leg fully replaced would be better than living with a mild disability#After being the cause of that disability!! Double traumatization whammy!#If he stopped even for a second to ask Dev what he wanted he'd have learned that this was absolutely not it!#Half the reason Dev is so secretive is because he thinks being visibly disabled is showing weakness and is some terrible thing#You need accommodations right now man!!! Tell people what you need!!#Dale doesn't actually care all that much about people knowing about the prosthetic leg as long as Dev is quiet about the cause#and doesn't make him look bad#tbh he's kinda proud of the prosthetic leg. Im sure half the reason he was so eager to push it onto his son was because his own company mad#it and wanted to try it out#I have so many thoughts this is getting so long
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I’ve been highly confused as to why Michael “deeply openly thirsting on Twitter about David Tennant for half a decade” Sheen is half-in half-out the closet but apparently Wales is absurdly homophobic lmao what the fuck how is a country the size of New Jersey that much of a hater bruh we out number the shit out of you
#i thought googling ‘how to say gay’ in welsh would be funny but it just made me sad#i knew the uk in general had a problem with trans people but WOW it’s fucked up in wales like. there are 8 of you what are you doing#i feel bad now lmao#wales#my weird welsh hyperfixation has taken me places let me tell you#cymru#homophobia#gay#lgbt#lgbtqia#good omens#bbc staged#michael sheen#i thought he was just ‘oh i’m quiet about my personal life’ but that’s not even true like my man’s probably actually scared#what a fuckass country lmao awesome#uk politics#united kingdom#david tennant#what is it with this tiny ass island taking over the world and being shitty lmao and this is coming from an american#bisexual#<- bisexual gang gang feel bad you fuckin haters lol#yes the whole world is homophobic i know etc but it’s like outrageously bad out there apparently#stay mad that i think nationalism is dumb ‘how dare you ever have an opinion you american’#you’re white you are not going to like where the power + privilege argument inevitably goes
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hello :) could you maybe explain a little bit how dan wootton blackmailed louis?
ugh sorry for taking a while to get to this. The problem is I feel like the only two ways to answer this are by spending a week and a half of full time labor sifting through old posts and evidence to get every detail right and lay out an airtight case, or to halfass something very serious, and so I felt a little stuck. So since I can't seem to find a good halfway point, apologies but here is the half assed version, if you want to get into it more I invite you to do your own deep dive or talk to other people, but here's how I remember things. Louis has almost never on video explicitly said things about Larry not being real and/or anything negative about fans and their theories (mostly the opposite), up until the last couple years when he obviously decided to make a major change he didn't talk about Freddie much at all let alone saying he was his kid, honestly not that much about Eleanor even; except for in two major interviews with Dan Wootton, each of which lined up with a serious traumatic Tomlinson family event that they managed to keep out of the tabloids until the very end (Jay's illness and Fizzy's struggles with substance abuse). After the fact of those events a lot of small things that didn't make sense at the time came together to look very much like Louis traded those interviews (and those answers) for having his family's private matters kept private. Story trading of this kind is a publicly known real thing that happens, and there were various clues that suggested he was being leaned on about those stories to lend legitimacy to the idea that it was something that happened in these cases. Given what we know about Dan Wootton and how he operates even before the recent flood of information and even more now, I think it's more than likely that he has been holding the threat of outing Louis (as he has done to many other public figures) over his head for over a decade, and has used his family's tragic struggles to get Louis to dance like a fucking puppet for him and I will REJOICE at his downfall when it comes whether it is now or 20 years from now... because someday it will, he has made too many enemies to stay above it forever
#I did start to try to deep dive before I realized it was too much#but I was reminded that when Louis was doing txf as a judge while fizzy was struggling#many people thought he had been pressured somehow into it; later when we knew what had been going on people were like#oh maybe he just wanted to be close to home to deal with fizzy stuff or somethng#but also: keeping fizzy stuff quiet would potentially be the info we didn't have at that time that could answer that q too of what they use#given the DW🤝simon jones🤝simon cowell cursed connections#(for the newbies: simon jones aka DWs bestie is Louis' publicist for no apparent reason even now long after he has gotten free of the rest#of the modest/syco/simon cowell shitshow)#anyway another example of story trading in our fandom is zayn's baby sister's teen pregnancy#which was known to the fandom early on but kept super quiet by respectful fans- during this time Z did some unprecedented actual interviews#for no obvious reason#and then iirc pretty much the day she turned 17 a very lowkey article reported on her marrying her bf and mentioning a pregnancy#but as if it was recent not like 7 months along#and even when she gave birth soon after it was all kind of... glossed over and around and not reported until a little later#blah blah blah#I felt like it was weird to talk about this for some reason but when I thought about it#I don't know if it matters. Like maybe talking about him not being a dad and being gay or whatever at all is bad#but assuming we're doing that anyway. why not talk about the struggles around that#and the creeps holding it over his head#dan wootton
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I was reading back through caged lungs and I realized just how many times Donnie got hit in the head during the last fight and how hard, no wonder Leo is concerned about brain damage.
Also, when Donnie goes to see April at the end of chapter 2, is he just dissociating really hard or is that an actual physical symptom from the…everything really!
not to mention the oxygen deprivation with raph throttling him! the last fight is so visceral and nasty and it was the final nail in the coffin when it came to donnie's issues physically and mentally, because although he would have been terrified of them regardless i dont think it wouldve been "inconsolable screaming heap at the sound of raph's voice" like it was in the early bit of CW.
and id mark that as dissociation personally. the second he registered as being in relative safety he kind of shut down because he wasn't able to process it, which had kind of been a running coping mechanism through the last month or so of CL. MIND YOU: IT IS NOT HELPED ALONG BY THE BRAIN FOG CAUSED BY HIS TIME IN ISOLATION, its a nasty concoction of problems. and also yeah physical exhaustion definitely doesnt help! he ran all the way to april's apartment while actively starving, after all.
although itll get better after [REDACTED PLOT THREAD] is handled, i think dissociation is gonna be something donnie will be dealing with for years, because spending four days in a quiet, enclosed dark space has some extremely messed up consequences for your brain and body. it was also in general something he used to cope under the abuse, so i could see him having issues with it when he's not in his right mind (sick or sleep-deprived, for example), i could see him regressing back to that old mindset when something like that happens. his perception of reality is permanently a little fucked :(
#ask#canary continuity#theres a lot of factors you have to put together for donnie's behavior right now#he's been so stressed that he's been running a low grade fever#the consequences of being in solitary are still taking a toll on him#his brain automatically shuts down as a coping mechanism when triggered#and he's absolutely dealing with both ptsd (notably about the closet the final fight and mikey attacking him in the kitchen)#AND cptsd. he definitely has cptsd. this is for absolute certain cptsd#+ he's still on some strong painkillers which are distorting his perception of reality#the source of the nosebleeds could very well be stress to be optimistic. but. well =) who's to say#everythings horrible but donnie is STILL too overwhelmed to process#its going to hit him very soon and its not gonna be pretty!#also despite his developed claustrophobia ive been haunted by the mental image of him waking up sick and immediately trying to hide-#-under his bed like a YEAR after all of this and Ouurgghhh#one of them comes looking for him when he doesnt leave his room and he just claps his hands over his mouth when he hears their footsteps#and his mind is just an endless mantra of “hes going to find me hes going to find me hes going to find me”#he doesnt know what he's so scared of. he just knows that something bad is going to happen and he needs to stay quiet#(remember when leo dragged him out of the laundry room? that left scars)#just thought i should share that cause it wouldnt leave my brain <3
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Gripped with ideas but….. the panelling………….
#banging my head against the wall#Im probably thinking abt it too hard but ive never given much thought abt executing my ideas till now#usually I just get out as many things as I can in messy sketches but because this one has Structure and Unspoken Thoughts that need to be#conveyed properly using mood and emotion than words I actually need to be a little deliberate abt how I go about expressing it#i found some tips for composition and going thru my comics for reference and trying to line it up with what I have in mind#but the mood im going for is more of a quiet looming dread.. like. yknow when a bunch of bad memories start rushing out while your mind#is in the present. im thinking of having paralleling panels to kind of build on symmetry or making comparisons to a past experience#i was thinking of having another set of overlapping panels showing the characters reaction to those thoughts in real time like a pencil#slipping out of their hand and falling to the floor but I don’t wanna clutter the page too much so maybe not#I don’t have much experience writing comics I just like to read em.. I’m sure it’ll be at least decent for a first attempt. hopefully#that way I can build up confidence for my other zelda comic ideas heh#without saying too much….. the idea I have in mind is about fort hateno and children’s nursery rhymes ;)#yapping
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normal thing to say about your dear friend who you think is really cute and charming and hard-working and basically the perfect wife material
#hamefura#my next life as a villainess#otome game no hametsu flag#aaand rewatch done! now my honest thoughts#good start. the middle is kinda boring. ep 8 doesn't exist don't worry about it#this anime draws me in in the same way that Futari Wa does#in that it has a fascinating main cast and a very vague skeleton of a worldbuilding that leaves me wanting to overthink it#unstructured thoughts incoming:#Geordo's still a creep and no matter how much the story wants me to like him I just can't#Keith's siscon is very Yikes! and that's so bad because I love his and Katarina's relationship as siblings#Katarina lowkey thinks Sophia is a freak but never kinkshames her and that's so bestiecore of her. they're soulmates your honor#Mary is SUCH A LESBIAN holy shit. I did not remember how much lesbian she is#I'm lowkey annoyed that the show frames her attraction to Katarina as “haha funny isn't she weird?!”#like in the sleepover episode she was describing the things she'd like to do with her beloved and she's being like. normal about it#but the soundtrack does a silly and I'm like. wow this anime does not like her huh#I swear Geordo and Keith are even weirder about Katarina than she is but the anime always gives them slack about it#unless they're having their homoerotic squabbles. which is to say the anime does Not Like The Queer Coding of the story#I'm sure there are worse examples of weeb homophobia but there are a couple moments I saw in the manga but not here!#anyway where was I. Oh right. Ascart Sibs Autusm 👍🏼#Nicol doesn't have much presence in the story due to his quiet nature which is so sad because his inner world is intriguing#he's such a good friend. loyal and caring. I wish we got more of him in this season#and finally: Maria. God. what is there to say about her that I haven't already#the girl came in with a 7 year disadvantage on her rivals and yet Katarina is all over her!#rewatching season 1 is so weird because I could swear she had more presence than she really does because holy shit#Katarina loves her! so much! wtf#maybe I'm remembering season 2?#anyway these are my thoughts on doomflags season 1#2nd watch edition#oh I almost forgot#romance in chiaroscuro
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silly little headcanon
After a lifetime of Incidents and Shenanigans™ with his capture weapon, I bet Aizawa would be God-tier at untangling slinkies.
#if you've ever had a bad slinky tangle#you know sometimes there's no way that bitch is gonna be the same#you can't tell me at least one of his problem children probably has one of those rainbow plastic slinkies#and you bet!!! when that thing gets tangled to hell and back and the kids have been trying to fix it for hours#sensei can be bribed with the promise of peace and quiet#and he'll fix it in fucking seconds like one of those rubix cube geniuses#not a single bend in the plastic#it's like it never happened#his other talents include undoing ill-advised knots on Things That Should Not Be Knotted#winding loose yarn or thread back into a perfect ball or spool#detangling Present Mic's hair from environmental threats (like tree branches)#and effortlessly organising a jungle of power wires#mha#aizawa shouta#aizawa sensei#eraserhead#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha thoughts#headcanon#silly post#shenanigans#screaming my thoughts into the void#I kinda wanna write a 5 + fic now lol
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If I had a nickel for every time one of my parents accidentally (yet completely preventably) broke a mug of high emotional and sentimental value to me, I'd have two.
Which isn't a lot, but it hurts that it happened twice.
#Losing my FUCKING mind#First mom runs my color changing lava cup in the dishwasher completely and utterly ruining the color changing element#And does not apologise at ALL or take ANY responsibility#Now dad turns on the stove without checking which fucking part of the stove she'd turned up to MAX HEAT#And breaks my newly gifted highly loved bird cup#And then does a Not Great job of gluing it and neglects to tell me about it for several days#Only saying what happened once I look closer at it and ask “hey uhh what's up with my cup? It looks glued”#“yeah it's my bad I turned on the stove without looking at which one and before I knew it the bottom of the cup exploded 😭”#Nice job dude you didn't even apologise in that sentence#There's not a single sorry in there#Dad already dumped her feelings on me today when she got upset I'd found old money from the 80's that I'd taken to the bank to exchange#She asked me once if I thought it was embarrassing that she expressed her feelings or soemthing#I was like. No? That would be weird? You're a person you get to express your feelings#Why are you asking me this anyway??#At this point her feelings are indeed embarrassing#But not to me! Hoooo no#It's so embarrassing for her that she is completely incapable of processing her emotions without dumping them all on another person#So the other person can process her feelings and then soothe her feelings#That shit is EM👏🏻BAR👏🏻ASS👏🏻ING👏🏻#I should eat dinner but I'm SO tired and if I stay up late it'll be even harder to get up at like 08-09#And if i get up early I can have a blissful quiet morning until dad wakes up at which point I'll go to the gym#Can't think when I'm running at 6.6 and vibing with 120BPM music#molly mumbles
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Hrmm... put together a roommates quiz finally after years of thinking it would be an interesting idea lol.. Though obviously not meant to be taken super seriously, I just like thinking about this aspect of personality compatibility. Like yeah, maybe you could get along with someone just chatting with them, but living together is such a different thing. .. curiouse...
#Not that I think that many people would really care since I barely know anyone on tumblr in real life and would never live with random#internet strangers lol but... idk.. I made this to give to friends from time to time and thought... why not post it here too#just out of sheer curiosity if anyone takes it what the most common results would be and etc.#My initial assumption is that most people would probably fall into the 'maybe' category and that either extreme of 'best roomates'#and 'worst roomates' would be the least common#very long also since I like to be thorough I guess#THOUGH... upon second thought... tumblr is home of the like Weird Introverts Who Sit Inside All The Time.. so maybe it's more#likely to come across compatible poeple on here. given that many of the questions are about how meticulous#people are with their scehdules or how often they invite friends over or if they like to mostly stay inside etc.#(since personally I think having a roommate coming and going and bringing random people over all the time would be too chaotic#lol... I need a peaceful quiet household)#Also I kind of don't like the way uquiz seems to do results. I was hoping it would be a number tally? I used some sort of quiz making site#before where you weight the question responses with a number (so the 'Best' response is worth a 0#The worst is worth like 5 points. and all the in between are like 1 - 4 points or something). So then it is actually possible to have a#''perfect score'' category (someone who gets a literal 0 points). and also you could weight some EXTREMELY bad answers#to add like +10 to the score instead of just +5. And someone who got the MAX possible points would be the WORST compatibility. etc.#But uquiz seems to just be like ''which category did you score towards the MOST'. So someone can give some pretty bad answers#that are VERY non compatible. but as long as MOST of their answers landed in a 'compatible' category#then they would still be listed as compatible despite still actually having some dealbreakers in there. Which is also possible with the#'every answer is a number amount' ranking system too. but I feel like that one does allow for a little more customization#and accuracy (like making the dealbreakers add like...+40 to the score or something so that#there's basically NO way that someone could answer with one of those and still get a good score. Or the ability to have a literal#'perfect score' (getting a zero) etc.#BUt anyway lol... inchresting.. inchresting... curious to consider maybe making a uquiz#for the characters in the gameI'm making like.. which npc are you type quiz or something#now that I've made one and seen how it works.. hrmm hrmm....#(< game will not even be done for like another year but still thinking about nonsense like this lol)
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feeling like shit , time to look art of me n my eepies <3
#someone put bad thoughts in my brain and now i need to make myself feel better#id ask my eepies to make me feel better but unfortunately . they are not around . no one is . shits been quiet for a while#eh#btw yes i will be reblogging the art again#v. post
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Hard to remember I exist sometimes and it feels like a lot of other people forget too and I don't really know how to feel about that right now
#just thinking about how like. a little bit ago i joined some friends for a tv show watching get-together#and like. 3 separate times somebody said something along the lines of 'oh you're here still?' or 'i forgot you were here'#i wasn't even being like overly quiet or overly loud or anything. i thought i was talking just about the same amount as everyone else#and i do trust my friends and know this part's probably in my head but after the second and third time it kinda felt like#- they were disappointed i WAS there.#and even my family and stuff forgets I'm here sometimes. especially now that I'm housebound and can't see them as easily#i mean I've felt forgettable my whole life but it's been especially prevalent recently#makes me wonder how long it would take people to notice I'm gone if i did disappear#i mean I'm not like. planning on disappearing or anything but I've been thinking about it a lot the last few days#vent#/no one here#<- just clarifying the story about my friends isn't like anyone specifically here or anything#i still trust them as my friends and I'm very aware the more negative tone was probably in my head I'm just feeling very bad right now#delete later
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breasts hurt again💔
#gonna over share but it’s okay#mammogram it is then haha!#truly#hope nothing serious is going on I#feel like im just straining smth idk#the doctor didn’t feel anything :(#Just stressed the fuck out over this still because I didn’t really get any sort of clarification and now im just still worried it’s smth#bad#and my dad is literally going through his chemo right now which I don’t think helps my like#train of thought#idk now I just don’t feel good at all because it’s uncomfy and I can’t be comfy for sleep#idk how long this’ll last either last time it was longer#I did notice it starts up right at the end of ovulation almost every time…#but this time it felt like it also started after I went out the one day so maybe it is related to like being active vs when im not idk#im ranting a lot#quiet now😔#kit talks
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Being an introvert that everyone thinks is an extrovert is sure... something
#its tiring is what it is#at some point people seemed to take it as 'quiet person who is socially awkward' but i can be very friendly bubbly etc etc#so theyre like oh youre so extroverted!! like no. i really need to go be by myself now or im gonna freak out lmao#i always feel like no one has a clear image of me tho bc people have always thought i was super confident#bc idk ? im loud sometimes more in the past than now and idk i crack jokes ?? but like no i have horrendous body issues and bad self esteem#literally since i can remember. genuinely going back to when i was like 5 so again its just very ?? whenever people say shit to me about me#like my cousins bestie who i have known since i was like 6 said i was such a joyous happy person#and truly it made me so confused bc i am truly not but idk guess to her i am so 🤷♀️#this is why i spend so much time alone now#its not totally an act sometimes i am that happy and fun but it is sometimes a mask that i have just been doing for 20 yrs so im good at it
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#*beep* oh. hey. guess you're sleeping? maybe you're at work. or out with friends. i hope wherever you are it's good#or that it's getting better. i really do#i'm not good. but you knew that already. otherwise why would i be leaving this message?#sorry. i just need to talk for a bit i guess#cause it's like. every day i write a hundred posts and every day i delete most if not all of them#and i could not tell you why#this is my blog after all. my words and thoughts go here#but also. this is my third place. and i can't lose that#isn't that crazy? i can't lose the handful of notes from reblogging other people's posts#the idea that somehow i'm constructing myself in the cut and paste instead of doing something myself#and i do try to make posts of my own. but nothing's ever worth posting. i don't even let it rot in the drafts. it's just gone#and i try to think about what would stop me from doing this#which inevitably brought me here - what would i be doing if it were fifty years ago#and i think the answer is i'd be calling someone who used to care and blowing up their answering machine#and i think about old answering machines. the ones that need a tape to record the message#does dora just re-record over the tapes that harry fills?#does she trash them? i'm guessing she doesn't listen to them#i won't tell you what to do with this message. i'll spare you a call to action#it's not like a diary would fix this. i have a diary. i've been keeping one regularly for months now#i think i want to be perceived but i refuse to speak unless spoken to and i will not reach out on here unless i'm being a kindly anon#and when i talk irl it's all broken disjointed subjects without predicates#it takes such effort for me to talk that people stop asking me out of kindness. but there's still thoughts i haven't said#thoughts that don't need to be said. we don't *need* another person rambling on about whatever random fandom topic or half-assed scribbles#i tried making serious art and meta posts for like four years across different fandoms#it's all gone now. as is most of my poetry. lotta things i don't know or care to know#and i can't bring myself to do that again. esp if that's not why you're here. so like. it's easier just to remain quiet?#because. i know people *can* understand. but it takes effort#and i can't guarantee a return on investment. i don't know if the cost of teaching me how to talk again is worth it#god i want to infodump but that was beaten out of me. the need is still there but i can't. it hurts#idk. things are good and then things are bad and on the whole they're good and getting better
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The marines calling Roger the worst man of the world is something but considering ace renounced him and luffy kinda blindly admires him bc we don't really know much about what he has done past his travels....
#like i know he wasnt but why then#bc he opposed th government and thats it#and now theyre going to kill his son just because they can#also surprised the d came from aces mother (well considering what she could do...) but i really thought it was bc of roger#even if they keep writing gold roger and not gol d roger but alas#tbh idk if thats just a theory or it has been confirmed but im not there yet#also i wanna know more about aces mom#and the fukcing bubbles of saboady keep haunting me!!!!!!#why is the people so sure that roger was bad what happened#and why is rayleigh alive if rogers family is dead like damn#also fuck!!! the marines know about dragon being luffys dad when iva san said to keep ot quiet!!! because of fucking garp!!!!#like lets kill rogers son but dragons is alright i guess#not like i want luffy to die but considering the revolutionary army you know#a newborn doesnt carry any sins just as boats arent good or evil. thats what im talking about#there arent any love stories in one piece and like i get it but it would be nice to know why ace was even born you know#OH ACE LOOKS LIKE HIS MOTHER OOOOOOHHHHH... THATS A DEATH SENTENCE#he has his mothers eyes what if i shit and cry and throw up#this is sickening also#the hunting pregnant women#the orange clouds looking like fire when ace is born. what if i start to sob#nono gol d ace now.... so they are both d names.... is that like a curse because damn...#also ace being held by his mom with the orange clouds behind again..... i am telling you he is like jesus christ you wouldnt get it#mary did you know your womb was also a tomb etc etc#god.... rogers rivals raising his son. whitebeard wanting him to become pirate king.... his rival's son... old men do not make me cry#buggy opening the doors like moses lmao#ace surprised whitebeard is coming for him.... and not believing luffy came for him either#that was good i cant wait to see more flashbacks but how many episodes will we be here until the thre hours are past. i fear for aces knees#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 460
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THIS IS THE BIGGEST THUNDERSTORM WE'VE HAD IN AGES HELLO ??? BAD TIMING SUCH BAD TIMING FOR IT
trying to just think abt how its always raining in po town,,, ohhh G.uzma we're rly in it now fjdksl
#i am Unable to sleep bc i am just quietly panicking#it is shaking the house ???? HUH ??????#i legit thought someone was crashing around upstairs but then i turned off the fan so i could hear better#and NO THATS THUNDER LOL#i am normally not scared of storms. however. a tree fell and missed my friends house by literally like five feet when she lived here#(in 2019ish)#and the wildfire threat is ... immense right now#so i get a little antsy w storms if the wind is bad or if theres lightning ;-;#most of the trees that made me nervous around the house are gone now#theres a few that could definitely still get knocked down though#OR LIGHT ON FIRE LOL. FUCK !#i need to sleep but um. quiet panic. fjfkdl fuck i hate this shit#dandy.cmd#vent //
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