#the awareness of being a film and commenting on itself and playing with the audience to convey its themes

[kuntlady]

Malèna

Giuseppe Tornatore’s Malèna is notably less charming than his 1988 classic Cinema Paradiso. Tornatore’s ever-present nostalgic sense of longing is apparent in both films, but whereas Cinema Paradiso spans the lifetime of a young man, Malèna is much smaller in its scope, focusing on just a couple of years during the main character Renato’s adolescence and his brief but intense infatuation with the titular Malèna. It’s this obsessive infatuation that replaces Cinema Paradiso’s quiet and magical nature with an overt and increasingly sinister pubescent sexuality. Yet, Malèna’s shorter breadth and its more portentous subject matter allows for Tornatore (if however indirectly) to provide a thorough commentary on the ways in which the female body is commodified, 

For Tornatore, the cinema world is forever stuck in the 60s. Despite being filmed a decade later, Tornatore’s nostalgia for post-WW2 Sicily carries through from Cinema Paradiso into Malèna. However, Tornatore breaks away and sheds Cinema Paradiso’s 60s-Fellini-inspired nonlinear narrative structure that was ever so potent in classic Italian cinema and lets the audience get the full brunt of the troubling and often violent events in the film and experiencing them as they unfold in front of Malèna’s teenaged main character, Renato.

Italy enters World War II on June 10, 1940. On this same day, Renato receives a new bike and we hear the salesperson saying “the frame is British, the gears are French, and the brakes are from–I forget. But the chain is Sicilian–always keep it greasy” (Malèna 2:03). This scene not only echoes Tornatore’s past commentary on Sicillian industry, specifically the fishing industry in Cinema Paradiso, but deftly establishes to the audience the context in which this Sicilian society is operating: though the bike is constructed from parts collected off bikes made in other countries, there is a through-line of pride embodied in the Sicilian chain. When Renato gets his bike, a symbol of youthful freedom and–more practically–a means of transportation, Malèna \ introduces its first reference to the theme of masculine adulthood. His friends inform him “you’re a man, like us” to which Renato asks “so I can join the gang?” (Malèna 4:05). The bike offers Renato his first steps into adulthood, and his attempts to assert himself into masculinity are the driving force for which the movie proceeds.

Later that day, Renato’s friends catch sight of Malèna (portrayed by Monica Bellucci), a beautiful woman whose husband is fighting in North Africa. Due to her beauty and her perceived sensuality, the group of young boys frantically run to watch her walk down the street, cutting through an alley to see her again as she turns a corner. It’s clear this has become a frequent activity for the group. This ritualisation of the performance of their male gaze as we hear them commenting on her body and bragging to each other about what they would do to her makes the audience immediately aware of Malèna’s physicality. This objectification is further enforced by the film itself. The first time Malèna appears on-screen we first see her physicality rendered through the male gaze as her body is represented through a fragmented collection of close-up shots of her legs, breasts, lips, and hair as she gets ready. 

This “male gaze” is noted in Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema, where Laura Mulvey argues “Hollywood cinema was structured along a threefold gaze (by the audience, the camera and the characters) that looks at women from a male point of view and regards them as mere (sexual) objects.” (University of Westminster, 2020). While not a Hollywood film, Malèna’s portrayal of Monica Bellucci’s character immediately drives this idea of the male gaze home. The rest of the film plays out solely through the gaze of Renato as he becomes immediately infatuated with Malèna and follows her everywhere, watching her the entire time. Even in moments of intimacy Renato is voyeuristically watching her through a peephole he made in her window shutters, with one of the most touching scenes in the movie being inextricably linked and befouled by his gaze. As Malèna dances with her husband’s portrait to the melancholic romance song “Ma l’amore no”, the camera focuses on fragmented close-ups of her legs, breasts, and slightly transparent dress. The camera and the audience are again solidified in Renato’s gaze as the shots focus on her sexual physicality and not her emotion or love. 

As Renato’s naive sexuality towards Malèna continues to grow, he becomes witness to the male gaze that Malèna lives under. At this same time, we see the pressures that Renato is subject to in regards to his masculinity. Initially, to Renato, Malèna offers the strongest way to graduate into his masculine adulthood. As he fools himself into thinking the love he feels for Malèna is requited, which, to Renato–a teenage boy eager to perform his masculinity–means he must protect her. Tornatore shows us that Renato’s fantasies involving Malèna are not always sexual: we see Renato imagining himself to be Tarzan swinging across vines to save her, a wild west cowboy shooting bandits trying to rob their stagecoach, and a gladiator fighting in an arena to win her favor. These are all artefacts of Renato’s conditioning to believe that love is inextricably linked to his own expressions of physical masculinity.

As the story progresses and Renato increasingly feels it impossible to interact with Malèna directly, he pursues other avenues to both prove his masculinity to his community and to Malèna herself. Sicilian children, at this time, wore shorts and a short sleeve button down shirt. His shorts are referenced multiple times throughout the film as a symbol of his immaturity, and Renato feels ostracised from his friend group, who all have the more grown-up long pants. Renato steals from his father in order to get pants tailored for himself and is inevitably caught and reminded forcefully that he is too young. Renato’s next foray into adulthood is when he steals a booklet of paintings featuring nude women and masturbates for the first time. This is Renato’s first physical entry into his sexuality beyond just fantasy, and he does so while imagining the women in the booklet are all Malèna. We can see that, regardless of how Renato aims to assert his masculinity, it is inexorably linked to his sexualisation of Malèna.

On the other hand, Malèna goes through her daily life never noticing Renato. The only time we see her apart from Renato is when she is walking down the street being watched intently by the townspeople. In fact, Malèna doesn’t exist on-screen in this film without the presence of men seeing her–even in her moments of solitude it is Renato’s voyeurism that places her in the world. In doing so Tornatore implies that Malèna lacks an individual personhood, and is only formed through the very act of her being perceived. 

This constant “seeing” that plays a major theme in this film pushes Malèna more and more outside of the society of Castelcuto. Women are angry at her for seemingly seducing their husbands, frequently belittling and spreading rumors of sexual promiscuity as she walks past. The men only spit crude remarks about what she would be like in bed, catcalling and jeering at her, then turning to their friends for approval. The one thing the two agree upon: Malèna is anything but a Madonna, so she must be a whore.

It is this dichotomous and damaging categorisation that causes a cacophony of overlapping voices and sharp, jolting close-up cuts to the enthralled faces of on-lookers whenever Malèna makes a public appearance in town. And yet Balluci’s portrayal of Malèna would make it seem as if she were none the wiser. Malèna only ever looks at the ground when she is out, and Balluci’s sophisticated and emotional performance gives strong credence to the depth of Malèna as a female character.

When Malèna’s husband is reported dead in the war she is left penniless and nearly starving to take care of her father. Already having subsisted while her husband was deployed, her ill-deserved reputation has now made her “unhirable” in town and the women refuse to sell her food. When trying to buy groceries from the only man who would sell to her, she admits she doesn’t have enough money to pay him. The man then caresses her hair and informs her “that’s no problem. I’m sure we can find a way to make you some money” (Malèna, 55:25). Immediately planes are heard overhead, and Castelcuto is bombed, ultimately killing Malèna’s father in the attack. At his funeral, as townspeople line up to wish her condolences, the same man who brought her groceries reminds her of his offer, showing that even in her deepest mourning and most human of moments, she is still seen as a sexual object to be used rather than a person deserving of sympathy.

A beautiful and poignant scene results from this act of deprecation. Malèna, her hair dyed a light scarlett, walks confidently into the plaza, turns her gaze forward for the first time, puts a cigarette in between her lips, and waits. In a beautifully framed close up of Malèna’s face we see a dozen men’s arms come in off screen instantly offering a lighter for her to use and her eyes are filled with a subtle grief as she allows one man to assist her. This scene represents Malèna’s understanding that she must wield the sexual power she holds over the men in this town to help her survive. She is the object of the women’s scorn and the men’s sexual fascination through no act of her own, and it is through their objectification that she ultimately must become the thing they rumoured her to be.

Having had resorted to sex-work for some time, Malèna finds herself in the clientele of German soldiers. Her short hair is now dyed blond–the exact opposite of the classically Italian long, jet-black hair Malèna had in the beginning of the film–represents truly how far she had to turn from her old self in order to survive. Upon American liberation, her affiliation with the German officers is the excuse the women of the town needed to enact their brutally violent punishment against her perceived transgressions. This woman, who had done nothing but attempt to feed herself and secure her safety, is dragged out of the hotel in her underwear and beaten by the women of the town, cutting off her hair and pulling at what little clothing she has:

When she is dragged into the same square where she adapted (sic) her new persona, when her nakedness is exposed to every eye that once pandered after her, she is grotesquely reduced to a destroyed shell of herself. When the torment is completed and her hair is held triumphantly by the jealous townswomen, she breaks her muted disposition of indifference and lets out a guttural screech of agony.

(Escober, 2015)

Her screech of agony isn’t directed at the women who beat her, though: the shot is filmed from within the crowd of on-looking men, somewhat obscuring the audience’s view of the violence, and as Malèna gets up off the ground, naked and bruised and covered in dirt, she turns to the men and cries out at them; and at us. Bellucci’s acting in this scene is incredible. Having solidified her intricate understanding of the character with the cigarette scene, the deftness in which she places Malèna’s pain into this scream leaves the viewer with a deep, intrinsic understanding of the message: the men had done this to her, however indirectly. Standing in front of them naked and beaten was the physical manifestation of the extent of their sexual violence against her. In refusing Malèna her personhood, in reducing her to her physicality, in holding her constantly in their sexualised gaze, she had been forced into becoming the person they seemed to so desperately want her to be and then left her abandoned to be ravaged by the world they themselves made.

Tornatore’s Malèna shows, astutely, both sides of the coin. Malèna’s sexuality and value is inherently tied to the objectification that Renato and other men place upon her and ultimately lead to her direct downfall at the hands of the towns-women and the indirect way in which Malèna is robbed of her personhood leads her there. We also see Renato’s increasing sexual consumption of women being hoisted upon him by the societal expectations of masculinity. Renato’s forward progression into manhood is referenced multiple times throughout the film and each attribute that attains him a new chapter of his adolescence–the bike, the long pants, the masturbation, and the fantasies–are all portrayed as the necessary metamorphoses that will bring Renato into adulthood. Furthermore, his naive conceptualisation of romance is inseparable from his want to flee from childhood and into the masculine archetype of the protector and his insidious sexualisation of Malèna. 

[grapesnolives]

@midnightinwales good call on the relocation-I was getting lost trying to navigate the posts and felt bad at railroading the topic too! 😅

Yeah,be cool to hear your thoughts on that rehearsal stuff once you've had chance to give it a listen. It may resurface some of the emotions you had first listening to STH. I'd also recommend these NQ sessions that I talked about in an earlier post https://youtu.be/qfkSpK7QLrc?si=yXugGRl2lrGcdaSP

I don't know why I love all their 'behind the scenes' stuff so much. It could be cos as a band, there's a kind of aura of mystery round them due to the lack of media in general. That and the fact their run was pretty short compared to the likes of the Stones who go on (and on ...and on!) but it's fascinating to hear their creative process. How I would love to see some footage of them at work like fans of the Beatles have with the Let It Be sessions.

Gosh, that info about Robert was actually quite saddening to read. I didn't know he had that opinion of himself. It makes so much sense about the vocal theatrics that he adopted around 73 (was it?) but it's kind of heartbreaking to think he considered himself irrelevant compared to the instrumental solos. I always thought the drum solo/guitar solo/NQ key solo/acoustic section were practical inserts to ensure all members had a chance to rest during what were often really long, exhausting shows.

As is often said, LZ in its purest form wouldn't exist if any of the members were removed and that most certainly includes the vocals too. In addition to singing, he was the ultimate MC at gigs, injecting some genuinely witty interludes and comments while things were being set up for the next songs as well as diplomatically warning audiences when they were rowdy or throwing those firecrackers.

I think Plant was almost too self-aware and intelligent for the standard 'frontman' role. It's like the hair, tight jeans, teeny blouses etc was a character he played but deep down began to despise in a way. The change in his appearance from say, the Denmark video to TSRTS was massive. Even at RAH, although the mane of hair was growing, his clothing and presence didn't so much stand out as neatly incorporate itself within the band allowing his voice to be the 4th instrument.

"He knew not to make Jimmy the centre of attention that he might not see as entirely friendly. "/" Not least because Jimmy Page can't take a joke imo. "These are great points and make a lot of sense, ironically, cos I feel that Jimmy LOVED the spotlight on stage as long as he was playing his 'elusive, mysterious, enigmatic artist' role as Jimmy the Guitar God. Just to state, I love the whole band with all my heart, but as someone who doesn't idolize Jimmy above all others, I do find some of the extended bow, guitar solo, theremin segments a tad self-indulgent. Don't get me wrong, the drum solos were often too long too and even as a Bonzo girl, I rarely just listen to them (although I do enjoy watching the paltry few that were filmed) In addition, they were only in one segment of the show rather than scattered throughout, so are easy enough to skip;)

Both your answers to how you discovered both LZ as a band and J + R as a....couple? 😜 are fine. Thank goodness the youtube algorithm bestowed you with that gift when it was your time to receive it.

I can't remember exactly how long I've been listening to them, but in most music I listen to, my ears do tend to notice the drums first. (I ADORE Ringo's performance in Tomorrow Never Knows, for example) Having said that, I think a lot of music just has drums in a perfunctory role whereas Bonzo's were truly musical and, to me, anyway, sometimes the most exhilarating part of the song. One example, imo where the studio wins out, is IMTOD. Here, the album completely showcases the drums and it's one of the highlights of PG. But the Earl's Court version has always been a bit of a disappointment on one level-the drums seem muted and pushed aside and all focus is ( most deservedly) on the slide guitar. Another example of Jimmy's domination on the stage although it's a superb ensemble performance overall.

Are there any tracks where you prefer the studio to live?

Sorry for 'rambling on'. It's just so nice to have an outlay for my LZ love. 🎤🎹🎸🥁🪕

@grapesnolives thank you for the link, I'll check it out during the weekend. I agree that their experimentation is always beautiful and fascinating to hear. They had singular sensitivity to the emotion – sound axis. And you can never be bored with it.

I've moved us to a new post, since our conversation is veering off the topic of the original post and I think we've hijacked enough of that already ;)

Unfortunately, I don't have the source for that quote about Robert, as I have been consuming a lot (and I mean A LOT) about LZ in the past few months, but in quite a chaotic manner and I haven't been taking notes. But If I come across it again, I'll send it to you. I was also surprised by it, but I guess it makes sense, since it was originally Jimmy's band and I believe that as time went by and Jimmy was losing his grip on reality more and more, Robert might have felt constricted a bit or started to develop a need for more independence. Nothing unusual in that, it happens in pretty much any band. He might have also been genuinely annoyed at the endless solos, quite like Bonzo, and JPJ probably too. I mean, to make a six and a half minutes long song into 45 minutes is both amazing and unnecessary lol. And Robert did have a bit of an imposter syndrome, still has, actually. He often spoke about them as 'three musicians and me'. 'I'm just a wedding singer who sang with musicians', and how his elaborate singing style developed as a method to stay in the song, cause the long musical intervals made him feel irrelevant. He definitely wanted to impress Jimmy and there was a lot of reverence for him as the worldly, knowledgeable, experienced musician who created his own band. But that began to disappear when Jimmy got heavily into heroin imo and definitely lost after 1977. Robert's priorities changed. His view of life changed. The love was still there, but Jimmy was no longer someone that Robert had to live up to, so to speak. Now he was someone to protect (and, in a way, someone to mourn). But the initial experiences formed Robert as a singer, set his standards and informed his view of musical expression.

I've also noticed that he makes fun of Bonzo (the diarrhea jokes will live with me forever, thanks Bob :/ ) and JPJ (and himself, occasionally), but not of Jimmy. IMO that's because he and Bonzo were 'bros', mates, and that's typical friendly behaviour in this kind of relation. JPJ was also a guy in the band and concert is entertainment, so it's only fair to make people laugh. It created a sense of dynamics, each band member had his quirks and image to play with. But with Jimmy he is only ever sweet and attentive. Not least because Jimmy Page can't take a joke imo. He's quite fragile and Robert knew it very, very well. But this doesn't read to me as reverential, but rather as caring. He knew not to make Jimmy the centre of attention that he might not see as entirely friendly. And his mysterious image had to be uphold too. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but whenever Robert speaks to Jimmy his tone of voice slightly changes. It becomes softer and warmer. ‘is it alright, love?’ kind of thing. He definitely wanted to be in Jimmy’s good books and for more than one reason.

I’m not surprised you thought they were a duet, seeing the photos. I recall seeing photos of LZ throughout my life and they’ve always been focused on J and R. I didn’t know what the other band members looked like before I started listening to the band. I knew Bonzo’s name because of his tragic death, like I do many other musicians’ who met their ends way too early, and knew that he is recognised as one of the, if not the greatest rock drummer of all times. But that was about it. IMO, he is the greatest of them all and he’s the only one whose drumming makes me genuinely tear up. There is as much emotion in Bonzo’s drumming as there is in Robert’s singing. Astonishing.

If you’re asking how I got into the story of J and R, it was quite simple really. I remembered the photos I’ve mentioned (mostly the WLL mic in the hair singing) which have always looked very suggestive to me and had heard before that part of the magic of LZ was the interplay between the two, and so when I finally got into their music I started doing my research to see if my initial impression was correct. And found plenty of evidence to confirm it, some of it much more straightforward then expected. But if you’re asking how I got into LZ then I’d say it was time for them to come into my life. One night on YT they appeared on my list and the journey began. I knew some of their songs before (STH, WLL, Dazed, a couple of others) and I had quite an emotional experience listening to Stairway as a young teenager, but that was the extent of it. I firmly believe that music comes to us at the right time and there’s no point in forcing it. It will find you if it’s meant to. And it will be a journey you’ll never forget.

Have you always been interested in drumming or is it the first time when it has captured your attention so much? Have you been into LZ for a long time?

[betagrove]

House (1977) rewired my brain I cant stop thinking about it

[devilsskettle]

currently thinking about the trend in a lot of films right now is to deconstruct various genre conventions and what makes some of them work so well and some of them totally miss the mark and i think there are levels to meta and how effective it is. so here’s what i think it is:

level 0: establishing the conventions. whatever tropes common to a particular genre are done in earnest, reifying those tropes’ typical presence in a genre. either doing it for the first time (as in genre establishing films) or continuing the trend. just to be clear, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this lol it’s literally just what any piece of media does unless it’s meant to be ironic/satirical/meta. it’s honestly kind of weird to see this trend towards irony and commentary, feels a bit like a cultural rejection of sincerity. but i digress 

level 1: acknowledging the conventions. the tropes are present, but it’s with a little wink from the filmmakers. we’re all in on the (often self-effacing) joke that it’s such a stereotypical thing to include in a movie of this genre. it’s ironic! 

level 2: deconstructing the conventions. the filmmakers don’t just acknowledge the conventions, but comment on them, either implicitly or explicitly. often critical of the function of the tropes (for example, the trope of stoic masculinity in a western is shown to be toxic, or the archetype of the “slutty” female character in an exploitation slasher movie is shown to be sexist. conversely, a positive example might be when the final girl trope in slasher movies is framed as feminist). the filmmakers have opinions about what these tropes mean and they invite the audience to also form opinions about them 

level 3: subverting the conventions. the filmmakers 1. acknowledges the tropes, 2. deconstructs the tropes, and then 3. uses those tropes to do something different in their own film. they take the expectation of the audience and twist it around (an example of this is the scream franchise; in the first movie, it’s all about deconstructing the slasher genre, picking apart, analyzing, and poking fun at its “rules” - i.e. the slasher movie genre conventions. then in scream 4, they continue to play around with these “rules,” but the main killer turns out to be someone who would never fit into the archetype of the killer in a traditional slasher movie. in doing so, they comment on the roles of both the slasher and the final girl in this genre while turning them on their head, using them to say something new within the framework that the genre conventions provide) (you know who else did the same thing? ovid! it’s a roman literary convention to take old stories and do something new with them, twisting them around in exciting, interesting ways for the modern readers of that time. metamorphoses is all about adapting myths, not just straight retelling them. if anybody uses ovid as a source for greek mythology, punch them in the dick because he’s saying nothing about ancient greek society and everything about the culture in which he lived - rome) (just like scream is quintessential 90s media and says nothing about the 70s and 80s when the slasher genre was being established) (but yeah - retellings/adaptations of any myth/folklore do the same thing, which is why i think we need to be critical of how these stories get retold and what implications using certain traditions has about our own culture) (anyway. what was i talking about) 

i feel like the reason so many meta movies fall flat is because they don’t reach the point of subversion while trying to get credit for being groundbreaking, when all they did was deconstruct genre conventions. not that all films do need to subvert conventions! (the first scream movie itself only deconstructs, but it does it well and that’s what makes the difference imo) but when they purport to and don’t, it’s very frustrating. fake deep. like okay you’re aware of certain tropes, but did you do anything with them? did you actually say anything new about them? it’s like how they teach people to grade standardized test essays; you can’t just make a statement and get full credit, you have to elaborate and demonstrate your point. and then of course there’s the issue of the subversion being effective in the first place, like, did using this genre convention actually muddy the waters more in terms of what your message is? but that goes back to good old fashioned quality of writing. and understanding how the conventions function in the narrative/what they represent (if you don’t know what their purpose is traditionally, then you’re not able to comment on them, which means you’re not gonna be able to subvert them, because then you’d be going through a whole lot of effort to say absolutely nothing). you gotta learn the rules before you break them. so like some movies i’ve seen recently that imitate effective deconstructive/subversive films but fail include the menu (extremely muddy, disingenuous messaging imo, a hasty composite of popular modern thriller aesthetics from the past couple of years) and scream 5 (tries to deconstruct the slasher genre for the 2020s but fails because it doesn’t say anything true and specific about the genre, grapples for some pattern in modern horror that could count as a genre convention to deconstruct but never lands on anything concrete). anyway.......

idk i could complain about butchered meta and ineffective deconstruction forever. i guess it bothers me because it’s an easy way for lazy writers to sound like they’re saying a lot of smart shit without really having to say anything at all, it just sounds good and people like feeling like they’re in on the joke with them and they can play off of the pop culture imagination we have around a genre and make broad generalizations about patterns that actually aren’t so ubiquitous in the real genre. and it sounds progressive! and sometimes it is. but like. how many people have watched meta horror without ever watching a slasher movie? or a neo-western without ever watching a western? or how many people have read modern adaptations of myths purporting to “reclaim” them for women, without reading any mythology beyond percy jackson and bulfinch in elementary school, or having any familiarity with ancient greek culture? they get to be high and mighty about a genre they know nothing about lol it’s ridiculous, don’t you think? just the rhetoric around it now. idk this little ramble has gotten away from me 

[omgkatsudonplease]

I watched Mignonnes so you don't have to, if you were at all discomfited by the way Netflix's marketing decided to sexualise children in a film critiquing the sexualisation of children.

SPOILERS BELOW

The film is about how both hyperliberal and hyperconservative cultures force girls to grow up too fast. Amy is a first-gen immigrant from Senegal. Her family's culture tells girls they are marriageable once they get their first period, and in anticipation of that she is expected to know how to prepare an entire wedding feast and provide for her two younger brothers. 

Amy is disenchanted from this culture when she finds out her dad back in Senegal has married another woman. He will be bringing her to France with him and they will live in the same apartment. Amy's mom tries to put on a brave face and accept it, but it is obvious this move is humiliating for her. Amy's excitement for her dad turns into anger, compounded by her alienation and isolation at school.

The Mignonnes are a dance clique of 4 French girls who are clearly better adjusted to Western culture than Amy. Their ringleader lives in Amy's apartment complex and Amy is clearly enchanted with her because of the way she dances. She wants to be friends with the Mignonnes, but they bully and tease her. So in an attempt to win their approval, Amy learns the dance routine they are practicing for a local competition.

(The infamous "OMG NAKED BOOBIES ON A CHILD" shot is a blink and you'll miss it moment on a music video posted by a rival dance group. The incident is treated like a wardrobe malfunction, the girl quickly covers up, and the camera cuts away. Also, breasts aren't inherently sexual in France so a lot of the morality screaming is really American puritanism at play.)

The girls' antics are rebuffed by the older boys and men they interact with. One such moment is when the girls catfish an older teenager, but when one of them turns on the camera, the boy is visibly uncomfortable and tells them to fuck off. This leads to the girl who turned on the camera to be outcast from the group, which is Amy's avenue into the group. To secure her place, she offers to teach the other girls how to twerk. 

This is where the film's dances become more notably uncomfortable. I can tell why people are upset about the sexualisation of children based on only these scenes from the film, but within the context of the film they are treated as a dangerous addiction that is destroying Amy's dignity. She acts more and more "mature" in an attempt to gain the approval of the Mignonnes. In these subsequent dance scenes the camera mimics the angles from a music video, but the child subjects make the overall scene grotesque and uncomfortable.

There is a scene where Amy is pantsed in a fight. This is when she is desperately trying to look "more mature", so the revelation that she still wears "kids' granny panties" is humiliating for her. Once again, the shot is really quick, in the context of a fight, and the Mignonnes come to her rescue quickly. This moment is the tipping point where Amy's outside activity seeps back into her home. She steals her mom's wallet so she and the Mignonnes can go on a shopping spree for more ~mature~ underwear. 

Since Amy is in a lower-income first-gen immigrant family, she doesn't have her own smartphone. The girls at her school do, though, so she steals her cousin's smartphone. This is also part of her attempts to become accepted by her peers -- that phone is her first foray into hypersexualised Western online culture and part of her first major interaction with the Mignonnes. It is also part of the worst thing she does: post an inappropriate photo of herself online.

The film clearly shows her reasoning for doing so: she is deep in social media at this point and needs more and more provocative actions to score the same high. The Mignonnes were humiliated by the pantsing incident and need something to show they're "not kids" (even though they are). Amy doesn't know it's inappropriate to post that kind of photo online. She does it anyway. And she is punished by both her home culture and Western culture for doing it.

There is a scene here where her mother and auntie sprinkle her with water, presumably to purify her from her sins. Amy becomes overwhelmed with some sort of emotion and starts half-twerking in front of them. The camera circles her entire body when she does so. It really makes her look possessed, which is why her mother calls in an imam (I think?) to check her for demons. The man tells her mother there are none, and reminds her that she is free to divorce her husband if she cannot bear the stress and humiliation of this impending wedding. "God does not burden women with more than they can bear," he says, making a clear distinction between Islam as a religion, and Islam as a tool used by a patriarchal culture to force the submission of women. 

Amy is also rejected from the Mignonnes (and they welcome the other girl back in). They tell her she acted like a slut and ruined their reputation, completely uncaring that they were responsible for her actions up to this point. The line is clearly: you can twerk and lick your finger and bite your lips and do all the other stuff that the women in music videos do, but you cannot post nudes. Amy doesn't know that's the line. She tries to justify her actions and is only pushed away by the other girls. 

(I should also mention, the actual action of her taking the pictures does not show you anything. The camera keeps itself above the belt outside of dance scenes. You know what she's doing based on the glow of the phone screen and the tops of her knees. You never see the photo itself, either. That, to me, tells me more about the film's treatment of these kids more than the dance scenes.) 

So with this further isolation from both of her cultures, Amy grows increasingly desperate. On the day of her dad's arrival and wedding, she tries to push her way back into the Mignonnes for their final dance. This feels like an act of self-harm at this point, but Amy needs that high of having friends and getting approval (since she's not getting any of it at home). The dance is horrifically provocative, and many people in the audience are uncomfortable. The fact that Netflix decided to focus on this scene in their marketing campaign subverts the entire point of the film, since anyone who only watches the trailer would not know Amy was self-harming by dancing like this at this point. 

Amy receives an awakening in the middle of the dance. She realises this is also not what she wants to do -- she doesn't want to be viewed as a prospective wife OR a prospective whore. So she runs off, rejecting the Mignonnes. 

(There is a scene earlier on when Amy gets her first period and the auntie tells her that she herself had been engaged at Amy's age, and after she got her first period she had only a couple more years before she was properly married. Also the second wife is heavily implied to be only a couple years older than Amy. This is not framed in the context of Islam but rather in the context of Amy's family's culture.) 

In the end, however, Amy manages to find a middle ground between her two cultures, and rejects the expectation from both for girls to become women before they're ready to. She rejects both the hyperfeminine dress sent from Senegal for her dad's wedding as well as the risque dance outfit, and dresses like a kid to go jump rope with other kids in the neighborhood. When she finally gets to act like a kid, she is happy. 

I could honestly say more about the film's use of that dress from Senegal as a magical realism plot point, the relationship between Amy and her mother, and how the camera is a stand-in for Amy's mental processes and perceptions. But given the current puritan fervour on the Internet about how the film is "paedobait" I felt obliged to write up the film so people can be aware of how the subject is actually handled in the film itself and make their own judgement as to whether or not to watch it. I personally thought it was more evocative of the immigrant experience; I remember making many of Amy's mistakes when I was growing up (but thankfully mostly not offline, lmao). 

So: are the dance scenes disturbing? Yes. That's the point. I would be more concerned if you were NOT disturbed by the dances. Is the film sexualising the kids? I personally think this is an example of depiction =/= endorsement. Would creeps use the dance scenes for their own ends? Yes, but creeps also used to use innocent YouTube videos of kids doing gymnastics and ballet or playing at the beach, which is why all YouTube videos for kids now have comments disabled. So dogpiling a woman of colour for talking about her own experience through film, accusing her of being a paedophile, and sending her death threats is incredibly excessive. 

Also, the original accusation of this film being paedobait originated from 4ch*n, a known internet cesspool of racist paedophiles, so really. Are we really going to take 4ch*n at their word. Do your research, everyone.

[comicweek]

Why Batgirl (and Scoob) were Axed: TAXES

The death of “Batgirl” on Tuesday sent immediate shockwaves through Hollywood. The film — with a $75 million budget that grew to $90 million due to COVID-related overages — had finished shooting months ago and was in test screenings as directors Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah (“Bad Boys for Life,” “Ms. Marvel”) worked through the post-production process. Star Leslie Grace (“In the Heights”) had given multiple interviews expressing her enthusiasm for landing the title role and working with co-stars Michael Keaton (as Batman), J.K. Simmons (as her character’s father, Commissioner Gordon) and Brendan Fraser (as the villain, Firefly).

In other words, the movie was nearly finished, and already building awareness among fans. Why would Warner Bros. Discovery throw all that away?

According to sources with knowledge of the situation, the most likely reason: taxes.

“Batgirl” found itself on the bad end of that decision, apparently neither big enough to feel worthy of a major theatrical release nor small enough to make economic sense in an increasingly cutthroat streaming landscape. Spending the money to expand the scope of “Batgirl” for theaters — plus the $30 million to $50 million needed to market it domestically and the tens of millions more needed for a global rollout — could have nearly doubled spending on the film, and insiders say that was a non-starter at a company newly focused on belt-tightening and the bottom line. (Spokespeople for Warner Bros. and Warner Bros. Discovery declined to comment for this story.)

Releasing the movie on HBO Max would seem to be the most obvious solution. Instead, the company has shelved “Batgirl” — along with the “Scoob!” sequel — and several sources say it will almost certainly take a tax write-down on both films, seen internally as the most financially sound way to recoup the costs (at least, on an accountant’s ledger). It could justify that by chalking it up to a post-merger change of strategy.

Doing so, however, would mean that Warner Bros. cannot monetize either movie — no HBO Max debut, no sale to another studio.

emphasis added

The makers of the live-action Batgirl and the animated Scoob! learned today that those films were being stopped in their tracks. The timing was particularly awkward for Batgirl co-directors Adil El Arbi and Billal Fallah. Both are in Morocco for El Arbi’s wedding — some wedding present — and they expected to return to the cutting room and continue work on the film that stars Leslie Grace, J.K. Simmons, Brendan Fraser and Michael Keaton.

There were initial cries that the scrapping of Batgirl carried bad optics because the title role is played by a Latina. But there were reasons for the move. In both cases, the filmmakers were told that it came down to a “purchase accounting” maneuver available to Warner Bros Discovery because the company has changed hands, and also changed strategy from the previous regime. This opportunity expires in mid-August, said sources, and it allows WBD to not have to carry the losses on its books at a time when the studio is trying to pare down $3 billion in debt across its divisions.

There has been much speculation on why Batgirl was canceled, having to do with it being a bad movie. Sources said that the film tested once, and the result wasn’t that bad, considering that the cut had temporary visual effects that tend to temper audience enthusiasm in the scores. Already, the studio is discussing making different deals with the directors and Miss Bala star Grace, because this was not a reflection on their talent as much as the radical strategy shift. It was a hard decision for all and highly unusual to simply scrap a film that cost $60 million-$70 million, made by the hot directors who helmed Black and the Disney+ series Ms. Marvel under Kevin Feige as well as the pre-pandemic $426M-grossing hit Bad Boys for Life.

Much of the decision came down to this: Warner Bros Discovery boss David Zaslav rejecting of Kilar’s strategy to lean heavily into building streaming subscriptions for HBO Max. That was punctuated by his Project Popcorn initiative that put the entire 2021 theatrical slate — including Dune, Godzilla vs Kong, King Richard, The Matrix 4 — day-and-date in theaters and on HBO Max when theater attendance was sparse during the pandemic. Even after he was shown the door, Kilar continued to call the strategy a win. Many did not agree, particularly after Top Gun: Maverick waited and grossed north of $1.3 billion. It’s a decidedly different world from when Kilar made the move. Wall Street no longer is impressed by subscriber numbers as much as profits, as seen by the precipitous decline of Netflix’s stock value.

Back to Batgirl and Scoob! Batgirl is a gritty entry — not near the budgets of DC theatricals The Flash and Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom — and wasn’t designed to compete with tentpole theatrical releases, and neither for that matter was Scoob! In addition, there were introductions of characters in that film that the studio wanted to save for those DC theatrical titles. Rather than spend vast sums pumping up the budgets of each film to compete in theatrical marketplace, and then spend $80 million in global P&A, the studio felt that scrapping both movies was a better choice, when coupled with the purchase accounting maneuver. DC will be preserved as a place that takes big swings, from Aquaman 2 to Flash, Black Adam, Shazam! Fury of the Gods, a sequel to its billion-dollar Joker and another Wonder Woman pic.

Sources don’t expect other films to get killed like this, because the accounting opportunity expires by the middle of this month. But as all of Warner Bros Discovery braces for Thursday’s quarterly earnings report and the layoffs that are sure to come, no one with a project made specifically for HBO Max or execs there can feel confident at the moment.

Warner Bros Discovery just released this statement: “The decision to not release Batgirl reflects our leadership’s strategic shift as it relates to the DC universe and HBO Max. Leslie Grace is an incredibly talented actor and this decision is not a reflection of her performance. We are incredibly grateful to the filmmakers of Batgirl and Scoob! Holiday Haunt and their respective casts and we hope to collaborate with everyone again in the near future.”

[memecucker]

sometimes you say things about reading Chuck Jones' writings that makes it sound like I'd really enjoy reading what he has to say. do you recommend any books/collections in particular

Chuck Jones: Conversations (edited by Maureen Furnis) is probably a collection of various interviews and transcripts with Jones and probably the most useful source for his comments on aesthetics and animation. Most of the stuff I say that has to do with him I got from this book which is just really invaluable. It’s hard to summarize the contents fully but it’s just a really great text

Chuck Amuck: The Life and Times of an Animated Cartoonist by Chuck Jones is also really good. It’s essentially his memoirs combined with various illustrations in an oversized text since there’s plenty of art and Chuck Jones talks about his life and evolution in his own words. One of the cool anecdotes he says which plays a lot into his stuff about realism vs believability is when he talks about how his first gig as a professional artist was as a sidewalk caricature artist. He says something he realized on his own is that caricatures of people have to strike a balance between silliness because that’s the whole point and not wanting to have the person feel insulted (since it’s a profession that depends heavily on tips). Jones realized the best way to do a caricature of someone was as a sideways profile because if he did a head-on caricature striking the aforementioned balance became quite tricky because people are very familiar with their direct reflection (and may feel self conscious about certain aspects) so exaggerating or distorting some of those features may make a person feel ugly. However if he did a sideways profile caricature that’s an angle people aren’t used to seeing so it’s easier to have the drawing come off as a silly cartoon counterpart of the person rather than a mocking distortion of their reflection

Music and the Animated Cartoon by Chuck Jones. Published in the “Hollywood Quarterly” in 1947 which despite the name sounding like a gossip magazine was a serious academic journal dedicated to analysis of Hollywood art and cinema (and which would later be targeted by the McCarthy’s blacklist). In this essay Jones is at his most directly theoretical and provides a critique of what he sees as errors in the adoption of sound music in animation. Essentially Jones says that when cartoons use sound and music simply as secondary signifiers to what is visually on the screen. Basically imagine a silent era cartoon with a character whistling and this is shown by having music notes come out of their mouth and according to Jones the adoption of sound and music has done little more for most animations than simply substituting the visual music notes with an actual whistled tune. However music and sound is so much more than simply a epiphenomenon of the visual and Jones calls for people to take seriously the freedom of animation and that audio can be used not simply as a representation of the visual but rather as a creative expression itself. While Jones is critical of some aspects of Disney animation (such as an early overreliance on rotoscoping which Jones disliked because why not just film actors in costume if you want things to “look real”) he gives Fantasia as an example of a cartoon that knocks this out of the park and iirc specifically the Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor segment as an example of how visual animation can be used to represent the feelings that are invoked by a musical piece

And of course check out his cartoons! I’m with Deleuze when it comes to how cinema theory shouldnt simply look at how cinematic films shouldn’t simply be reduced to abbreviated essays (and I imagine Jones feels similar) but looked at as works of theory in their own right! Duck Amuck is probably my favorite short of his and it’s actually quite fun to try and analyze but he also directed the operatic shorts such as What’s Opera Doc? and The Rabbit of Seville as well as Duck Rodgers of the 22nd 1/2th Century (I used to be confused and thought Bob Clampett did Duck Rodgers because Clampett did The Great Piggy Bank Robbery which features “Duck Twacy” and i wonder how they’d feel about that bc Jones and Clampett did not get along) You might be surprised to see how many things you recognize were done by Jones such as How The Grinch Stole Christmas (Jones was a longtime friend of Dr Seuss and the Chuck Jones Art Gallery has a large supply of Dr Seuss sketches) and several Tom and Jerry shorts (Chuck was one of the T&J directors who was fully aware more people found Jerry the mouse more sympathetic and liked making shorts which were in his words “tragic” in that it’s not the desired outcome of the audience but he knew that there’s more to art than producing what the audience consciously wants to happen plot wise) and even some abstract stuff like The Dot and the Line: A Romance in Lower Mathematics which is a short that I think really benefits from reading his essay about music and cartoons.

Also what I also love about Jones is he was such a.. theoretical person. Like a lot of this stuff sounds like grad school overanalysis but the “maybe the curtains are just blue” crowd would have their minds blown if they saw what Jones had to say about things as seemingly vulgar as Looney Toons. Like with Wile E Coyote (a character Jones created) he talks about making him a coyote because coyotes are the most pathetic looking type of predator which if you’re from the Western US or at least area where coyotes aren’t cross breeding with wolves and getting bigger you definitely understand. Or how the reoccurring gag where Coyote runs off a cliff and keeps running on air for a few seconds before turning to the audience and holding a sign that says “Help!”before plummeting hundreds of feet and in Jones’ own words what’s ‘going on’ is that Coyote is a representation of neutroticism and anxiety and when he holds up the sign and looks at the audience, Wile E Coyote is showing a greater fear of being judged a failure and is asking for some kind of mercy or sympathy and places that fear above that of self-preservation (since part of the gag is that Coyote is not using his suspension in air to try and go back to the cliff). And that’s a freaking animation director for Looney Toons!

[filmmakerdreamst]

Xena: Warrior Princess Review

During Pride Month 2020, I finally got around to watch ‘Xena’. A show that had been in my to-watch list for years, but never got around to start. And when I finally did, I was pleasantly surprised. It was not what I expected and it was everything I think my 11 year old self would have loved.

The one thing that surprised me about the show, was the lack of packaging. Even though it was a fantasy, it also played with different kinds of genres too. I’ve talked about this before in my other review - ‘Xena’ was made at a time when TV had very few rules/rarely had a set audience, since there were parts of the show that were clearly for kids and there were other parts that were clearly for adults (therefore had much more flexibility). I admired how they weren’t afraid to break barriers and touch on deep themes such as religion, morality, redemption, spirituality, motherhood, forgiveness etc - even more than shows of today are able. I also loved how they played into the idea of ‘murder’ and how much it can damage a person - not just the person who commits the act, but the many people affected afterwards. I wasn’t expecting it to be that extreme. It made me think that this must of been the inspiration for ‘Game of Thrones’. 

I see a lot of comments here and there, saying how ‘cheesy and terrible’ it was but to just accept it because its part of the fun. And while like any show it does suffer from the occasional spell of bad writing (the whole of season 5) but it was also shown to be very aware of that fact and never took itself too seriously - unlike some shows I could mention. 

And regarding the ‘cheese’ factor (what 90s show wasn’t) It definitely can be, but I would call it ‘camp’ and ‘experimental’ more than anything else. (Don’t diss the poor use of CGI - I’m personally sympathetic to what was avaliable to them at the time) The style of humour reminded me of Taika Waititi’s filmmaking. If you’ve watched any of his films such as ‘Hunt for The Wilderpeople’ or ‘Jojo Rabbit’, then you know what I’m talking about. I liked how little they cared about being accurate or logical, which added to the ‘bonkers’ element in the show - which you can see in all of Taika Waititi’s films.

In all seriousness, a show centered around two women in their late twenties, who are realistic sizes (not trying to play teenagers). One of whom is a reformed mass murderer, who has lived a life experience, trying to do good in the world for the first time, picking the other one up who has no life experience prior (after they bugged them until they said ‘ok fine’) in their path to redemption. Just two women who become friends travelling the world together, fighting crime, having a laff, learning from one another without any toxicity - when suddenly when the stakes are raised - they realise ‘oh I'm actually falling in love with this person’ I have watched a lot of badly written shows in my childhood enough to know that, that’s not ‘cheesy’. I’ve never seen a story like that in my entire life. I’m not at all surprised that Russel T Davis was inspired by it while writing the Doctor and Rose’s relationship in ‘Doctor Who’ since he’s gay himself.

What’s more amazing about their love story is how they’re both develop as separate people as well. There was this video essay explaining ‘Why you should watch Angel’ the spin off series to Buffy; how ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer ‘was all about growing up and ‘Angel’ was all about being an adult. With Xena: Warrior Princess, you have both of those stories at the same time. 

Xena’s character was such a multifaceted experience to watch. And I can’t imagine anyone else who could play her as well as Lucy Lawless. What planet did they get that actress from? She's flawless! The amount of skill she has to put herself into a very physical role is astonishing. I personally had a love/hate relationship with her character all series long. Not in the way that I hated her, just that I couldn’t trust if she was all good or bad, which I know was intentional on the writers part. I haven’t seen a character quite like her before. She felt very much like a fallen angel; almost like the villain of her own story. Some of my favourite episodes come from fleshing out her character and dark past (‘Locked up and Tied Down’ is one of them) which reminds the audience that's she's not the stereotypical hero everyone expects. I loved her transformation from being this incredibly stoic warrior to being content and happy with who she is in season six, all because of a woman she fell in love with along the way. 

I’ve always thought of Gabrielle as the real hero and narrator of ‘Xena’. She’s the prime example of ‘a normal person becoming extrodinary’. Gabrielle’s coming of age story starting out as an innocent girl from a poor village dreaming of adventure, and ending as this vicious warrior who realises the ‘adventure’ wasn’t how she made it out to be is honestly the best character arc that I’ve ever seen. I loved how travelling with Xena made her realise her passion for writing (which was never going to happen in her home town, given the ‘sexist’ and ‘heteronormative’ ideas) and that she became a amazon princess like Xena. In regards to her sexuality, which is more up for debate than Xena’s (which I think we can all agree is bisexual) I personally interpret her as gay, just in terms of how she was written. Theres this moment in season 4 where she's being held up her hair, and Xena “symbolically” cuts it off ‘freeing her’. And she never really gets with a man afterwards, unless she’s being ‘possessed. It reminded me of a moment in one of Hayao Miyasaki’s films ‘Laputa, Castle in the Sky’ where the bad guy Moska shoots Sheeta’s ‘princess hair off’ which symbolises her transition from child to adult.

The cinematography was breathtaking. There was some great utilisation of New Zealand as the scenery. So was the soundtrack. You could tell it was made by experienced filmmakers. One of my favourite things about the show was the domestic elements - moments in the show where time seemed to stop - which made the world around the characters seem very real and magical. Even though it was a show that featured a lot of action/adventure, there was also this gentleness to it as well. For example, you could feel the wetness of the rain, the warmth of the sun and the clashing of the waves. This technique is used in Hayao Miayasaki’s work a lot .

The technique is referred to as ‘MA’ 空虚 meaning emptiness in Japanese. ‘Miyasaki describes this as the time between a clap’

“If you just have non stop action, with no breathing space at all, its just busyness. But if you take a moment, then the tension building in the film can grow into a wider dimension” - Hayao Miyasaki

The episode ‘A Day in the Life’ in season two is a really good example of this technique being used.

To my understanding, they used a lot of the local actors in New Zealand, which according to Lucy Lawless, consisted of ‘African immigrants and other different ethnicites’. It was so refreshing to see such a diverse show (despite some slip ups) especially in the 90s. I appreciated the idea that if the actors or extras couldn’t do an ‘american accent’ people could just talk in their natural speech which was also very refreshing. 

The LGBT representation was surprisingly amazing. I never expected so many queer characters in one show - especially under the censors. There was this one episode where they had a trans woman - played by an actual trans actress - win a beauty contest. It made me cry. Not to mention the actress was an aids activist. It was actually Lucy Lawless’ idea to kiss her which was incredibly controversial at that time considering how everyone thought you could catch aids just by kissing. I can definitey see how it validated people back in the 90s.

When people told me that Xena: Warrior Princess was one of the greatest love stories, I thought they were exaggerating a little. But no, watching the show in context, I found out that it really is. Despite its obvious restrictions, It made me realise (regarding token gay couples today) how often television writers rely on physicality and drama to convey a ‘love story’ and how much of it is actually pandering the audience. One of the reasons why Xena and Gabrielle’s relationship felt so genuine is because it was built on mutual respect/compassion and they were also best friends. I felt like I was witnessing something very real and private. It didn’t need kissing scenes or drama to make it interesting. 

It really helped that most of the writers were queer also. There’s this opening scene in season 4, panning over to Gabrielle giving Xena a massage (metaphor for sex - because they weren’t able to show that on screen) which I consider to be one of the most iconic scenes in media - considering how I wanted to sick up my supper when I watched the 10 minute ‘empty’ explicit sex scene in ‘Blue in the Warmest Colour’. The difference when something is written by a queer women vs a straight man.

Because the creators weren’t allowed to write their love story in the normal way, due to the studio forbidding them to, they found creative ways to showcase that love on screen - which made for a very magical/sensual experience. And I can safely say, if anyone has doubts about watching ‘Xena’, whenever I expected to be queer baited at a few points in the show, I was proved wrong time and time again. It’s the most romantical show I’ve ever seen in my life!

[my-darling-boy]

What's your review of 1917? I adored the sound/music, thought the cinematography was fantastic, and the wardrobe was phenomenal. I loved it. I thought of you when I went to see it. ♥️

Honestly it is probably one of my favourite films now? I could talk about how the uniforms and kits were really great in their uniqueness and that the writing was amazing and that the score was spot on, but I REALLY want to review some key elements that made this film absolutely incredible.

World War One is a very VAST and particular subject, and completely differs from both wars before it and wars after it. Like I mentioned in that rant I went on about why I study WWI, this was armed combat like never before, and what people thought would be a quick and painless event quickly turned into a mindless slaughter into which countries on all sides had worked themselves far too deep into and could not get themselves out of. There were no actual enemies in WWI. This was a war were an extensive number of people involved wanted the fighting to stop. And the trickiness about writing WWI subject matter for a modern audience that so often sees war and violence as something that is meant to empower, is that you must find a way to portray this anecdote that defies their mindset.

People go to see films of war for many different reasons: politics, depictions of violence, the particularly American concept of seeing your country as the victor or “winner”, or simply being historically curious are just some of the many reasons. And how do you appeal to a wide variety of audience members if, like then, there are so many people who have so many different opinions about war? How can you hope to spread a message about the war being horrific without playing into audience members’ misattributed feeling of empowerment in seeing acts of violence?

Though 1917 presents no glamour in rallying speeches against the war, no men uprising and defying orders, no men in triumphant charges promising glory, the film is antiwar by nature because of its truthful and tragic depictions of war itself, all scenes speak for themselves without focusing on any plain and political events to sway your mind to think anything different. It’s in the way corpses are shown buried in the mud. It’s in the casual comment about medals as bits of tin. It’s in the inclusion of cherry blossom trees. It’s in the way we see blank facial expressions jarringly different from happy faces. It’s in the way the boys spend a second too long looking at a dead man entangled in barbed wire. We see these messages in the background and in subtlety of statements or gestures that throughout the film speak VOLUMES. These are characters in a film where war is the antagonist. It is imbedded in and has shaped the landscape. It has tainted nature and severed relationships. It is every obstacle these boys face. The enemy in this film has no country or nationality. The enemy is WAR. The scenes of the lieutenant trying to install courage into the men before they go over the top, the act of crossing no man’s land, running through the German occupied ruins, the dogfight: these are all instances which would have had all cameras in usual war films idolising them as major pivotal moments because they’re action! They’re getting the audience into the moment! But in 1917, these moments are seen as background ludicrous CHAOS. Background NONSENSE. You as the audience have stepped back and viewed the war in one fluid and continuous shot, and you understand just how RIDICULOUS it was. 1917 instead purposefully showed more emphasis and depth towards scenes about decaying life, wasted life, and devastated landscapes to trivialise the short- lived “thrill” an audience receives from pointless acts of violence, and instead forces you to consider the aftermath and cost of those acts. And I LOVE that.

And the fact we focus on only two characters not only puts the enormity of the situation into perspective but also makes the story easier to grasp and follow and to empathise with. You are this omnipotent being witness to the absurdity of it all. And you have to watch the slow burn of these characters’ progressive awareness of that absurdity.

This is why using one shot is BRILLIANT for this film. Using one shot creates this 360 degree cohesive reality. It doesn’t cheat by using specific stylised shots to sway your emotions, nor does it use cuts to severe or censor those emotions: it relies on the realness and rawness of that truthful continuity to strip the audience of visually hiding behind cinematic breaks. To show things unapologetically and for exactly how they are is something that frighteningly amplifies the authenticity of these moments. You are forced to sit uncomfortably through scenes that you don’t want to see in their entirety! There aren’t any cuts or cinematic close ups to give your eyes a break from focusing on something that upsets you: you have to watch real time a person’s life slip away as though you are standing there with them, you have to watch real time the way a character’s face and body shifts when their world comes crashing down and it is agonising. You go through lengthy shots sometimes of people just walking, or sitting, and they are unexpectedly heartbreaking given the context of the afore scenes. And because these moments are not left out, you gain an extension to empathising with and understanding that character. And to have talented actors who flawlessly depict these changes is PHENOMENAL.

And while my emotions were building like a water balloon over the course of the film as I was trying so hard to keep back from sobbing in a cinema full of people, there was one scene that caught me so off guard I almost lost it.

It’s not exactly a spoiler because it doesn’t really give away any plot essentials and it was already shown in the trailer, but I’ll warn anyway: minor spoiler.

When the soldier is singing “Wayfaring Stranger” to the company of men in the forest. The camera pans around to all these quiet men attentively listening to the song. At first you just see helmets, you just see the backs of uniforms and webbing, you don’t see anyone’s face. But when the camera swung around to reveal their identities.... my heart DROPPED. You see all these soldiers are distinctly young. Here I am expecting to see older moustached men as we’re always shown in WWI movies, and I almost broke down when I saw a film actually acknowledged the painful truth that a lot of these soldiers were children. When we see these soldiers from the back, we have this image of battle hardened men, because it’s what we assume them to be. And it hits you.... really hard..... when the camera swings around, and you find out the men under those countless helmets.... are just kids. And that was REALLY impactful and literally chokes me up to even write about aaahhh

TLDR; 1917 was tragic and heart wrenching and terrifying but so well done, please go see it :’) and @ Sam Mendes please release that cover of Wayfaring Stranger so I can listen to it instead of the poor quality recording someone took of it in the cinema I will pay money for it!! I support that singer he was amazing!!

[buzzdixonwriter]

Another Pointless Top Ten List (But You’ll Keep Reading, Anyway)

My brother Rikk recently mailed me another top ten list of his, in this instance being his top ten favorite TV comedy shows (which he defines as 30 minutes or less, no movies).

The Three Stooges

M*A*S*H

The Andry Griffith Show 

The Beverly Hillbillies

Hogan’s Heroes

I Love Lucy 

The Honeymooners 

All In The Family

Get Smart 

Gilligan’s Island

His honorable mentions include F Troop, The Patty Duke Show, My Three Sons, Gomer Pyle USMC, Batman, Petticoat Junction, Mr. Ed. Bewitched, and I Dream Of Jeanie.

Again, one of those personal favorite lists that you really can’t argue with because it reflects personal tastes and / or fond nostalgia (though I am calling shenanigans on The Three Stooges; they were theatrical shorts shown in movie theaters, not a TV show, and besides, Laurel & Hardy are soooooo much better…).

But of course we’re going to play the game, so I’ll respond, first throwing in a caveat:  No skit comedy shows such as Monty Python’s Flying Circus, The Marty Feldman Show, Benny Hill, Second City TV, The Kids In The Hall, or Love, American Style.

I’m also omitting programs like The Gong Show and Jackass because while hilarious and under 30 minutes, they weren’t scripted or story driven.

So here’s my list:

The Dick Van Dyke Show -- the sitcom art form at peak perfection.  Carl Reiner’s insight into what writing for a mercurial TV star is like (in his case, Sid Caesar on Your Show Of Shows, for Van Dyke’s Rob Petrie it was Carl Reiner as Alan Brady).  If you’ve never seen the show, start off with their two best episodes, “Coast To Coast Big Mouth” and “October Eve” (though they’re all good).  “October Eve” is the one where Sally (Rose Marie) finds a nude painting of Laura (Mary Tyler Moore playing Dick Van Dyke’s wife) in an art gallery.  SALLY:  “There’s a painting here you should know about.”  LAURA: “If it’s what I think it is, I can explain.”  SALLY:  “If you need to explain, it’s what you think it is.”

The Mary Tyler Moore Show – this is the first American novel for television.  It’s a novel of character, not plot, and it traces the growth of Mary Richards, a 30 year old woman-child who realizes she needs to grow up, as she blossoms into a mature, self-reliant adult.  You can select two episodes at random and by comparing her character growth determine not only which season they were filmed but when in that season.

I Love Lucy -- eking out a bronze medal for its longevity and pioneering of the art form.  The first sitcom shot on film, it led the way in the rerun market.  Not just a historical icon but consistently funny.

WKRP In Cincinnati -- as crazy as a sitcom could get and still be within the realm of plausibility.  Never loved by its network, they bounced it around for four seasons until it faded away (it made a syndicated comeback a decade later, of which we shall not speak).  Great supporting staff, dynamite writing.  While they never steered away from serious subject matters (such as an actual rock concert tragedy in Cincinnati where several fans were crushed when rushing the stage), they will be forever and justly remembered for the beloved “Turkey Drop” episode.

Fawlty Towers – only two seasons and a mere 12 episodes and yet more comedic bang for the buck than anything else on this list.  John Cleese as a frustrated, short-tempered, conniving hotelier practically writes itself.  SYBIL FAWLTY:  “You know what I’ll do if I find you’ve been gambling again, don’t you, Basil?”  BASIL:  “You’ll have to sew them back on first, m’dear.”

That Girl -- looking back it can sometimes be hard to judge just how groundbreaking certain shows were.  Marlo Thomas as a struggling young actress finding romance and success in Manhattan seems positively wholesome today, but in the mid-1960s it was considered quite daring and progressive.  The Mary Tyler Moore Show took their opening credits inspiration from Marlo Thomas’ character exploring Manhattan in the opening credits of That Girl.

He & She -- a one season wonder from 1967.  Another daring and progressive show for its era.  Richard Benjamin and Paula Prentiss played a young married couple, he being a cartoonist who drew a superhero strip (the actor playing the superhero on TV in the series was Jack Cassidy at his manic best).  Another show with a dynamite supporting cast…and just too hip for the room at the time (honorable mention to Love On A Rooftop, a similar show from the previous season that also proved too advanced for audiences at that time).  

Green Acres -- started out silly but quickly took a turn into the surreal, breaking the fourth wall, commenting on the opening credits as they ran by, all sorts of oddball stuff.  Dismissed as a hayseed comedy, the truth is the supporting cast possessed dynamite comedic chops and their sense of timing is a joy to behold.  Forms a loose trilogy with The Beverly Hillbillies and Petticoat Junction since all three referenced the same small towns of Hooterville and Pixley  as well as occasional crossovers (honorable mention to the first season of Petticoat Junction which is as pure an example of Americana as one could hope to find and could easily be distilled into a feature film remake).

The Young Ones -- another two season / twelve episode wonder from the UK.  Four stereotypical English college students go through increasing levels of insanity as the series progressed.  Unlike most shows of the era where there was no continuity episode to episode, damage done in an early episode would still be seen for the rest of the series.  (They also would simply end a show when they ran out of time, not resolving that episode’s plot.)  Their random / non sequitur style proved a tremendous influence on shows like Family Guy.

Fernwood 2 Nite / America 2-Nite -- a spin off from the faux soap opera Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, this presented itself as a cable access variety show for Mary Hartman’s hometown of Fernwood.  With Martin Mull as the obnoxious host, Fred Willard as his incurably dense second banana, and TV theme song composer Frank De Vol as the band leader.  Because it’s so rooted in 1970s pop culture it doesn’t age as well as some other shows on the list, but many of the gags still land solidly today.  For the second season the show-within-a-show went nationwide and became America 2-Nite. Very funny, very well written, and all the more remarkable because these guys were doing five episodes a week!

Okay, so what can this list tell us?

Buzz is old.  Like really, really, really old.

Buzz stopped watching sitcoms in the mid-1980s.

There’s a reason for that.  By that time I was writing for TV and trying to get my own work done.  I didn’t have time to sit and watch TV on a regular basis (still don’t), and too often I could see the gears turning and guess where the episode was heading by the end of the first scene (still do).

I’ve veered away from “must watch” TV, especially shows that require the audience to keep track of what’s gone on before.

Tell me I have to see the first six seasons of a show to appreciate what happens in the seventh and you’ve just lost me as a potential viewer.  I’m strictly a one & done kinda guy now (though I will binge watch if a mini-series has a manageable number of episodes, say six).

My list represents a time capsule for what caught my interest and attention during a very formative period of my life, i.e., from the early 1960s as I became more and more aware that writing was where my future lay, to the mid-1980s when I hit a good peak stretch.

I don’t doubt there are great and wonderful hilarious comedies out there that I haven’t seen, I’m just listing what I have seen that did make an impression on me.

Your mileage may vary.*

    © Buzz Dixon

  *  It should vary!  Be your own person!

[romansrace]

Season 13 Sassy Reviews: Taking stock as of E07 ‘Bossy Rossy Ruboot’

So we know it’s not a good season.

Now all we’re watching to find out is is it AS BAD as season 7 or season 11?

It’s definitely up there for producer tomfoolery.

Let’s hit it.

So we know that going in to a new season, some queens are cast to go far, some queens are cast as filler (this year hilariously lampshaded by Joey Jay, self-aware queen), and some girls are cast to go midway and be allowed no further.

I wouldn’t be surprised if a certain proportion of queens are also now cast specifically to have a storyline of failing first time to set them up for an arc on Drag Race AllStars. (Why would producers care that it costs queens upwards of $10k per season to go on and that queens would probably prefer to only have to do that once?!)

As I mentioned in my last review, for some reason it seems that the production’s goal this time was to craft a season around Kandy Muse, a queen who was already fairly-well-known in the drag fandom scene for being a meme (just the one though) with links to existing Ru-lumni Alaska and Aja (and I suppose, Dahlia Sin).

If I had been in charge of production and wanted to craft a season around one queen (which, let’s be honest, has been pulled off successfully before: S3 Raja, S4 Sharon Needles; and semi-successfully before: S12 Gigi Goode and [Redacted], S6 Adore Delano and Bianca Del Rio) I would probably make sure to cast queens that didn’t threaten, or didn’t fill the same lane as my chosen frontrunner.

In season 4, this was probably most successfully previously done. Sharon was posited as the only drag queen in the world with a horror aesthetic, and compared favorably in that regard to her more middle-of-the-road competitors.

Raja, in season 3, was posed as away and above all others the #1 fashion queen. I would hazard that Manila Luzon may have auditioned as more of a comedy queen (given her reliance on Asian stereotype humor through the season) and ended up being more of a threat to Raja’s dominance than prodution initially counted on.

Season 6 was set up to follow the storyline of Adore and see how far she would grow through the competition. This was both helped and hindered by Bianca Del Rio’s dominance, although at least she excelled in precisely the kinds of challenges Adore struggled at, and vice versa. In this season, I suspect that BenDeLaCreme was not cast to be a fan favorite, but that ended up happening when she proved to be unexpectedly strong and versatile at challenges outside of the theatrical remit that she probably played up at her audition.

And in season 12, of course, all the groundwork was laid in Meet the Queens and in all the pre-show interviews for a season-long rivalry between plucky fashionista strategic player Gigi Goode, and old-school campy theatrical comedy queen posed as the relatable heart of the season, Sherry Pie. It would have gone well, had the latter not been revealed to be a sexual predator sociopath, resulting in a hasty re-edit that led to a lot of the (I imagine) originally less visible queens getting more talking heads to fill in the pie-shaped gap in episode content.

So we come to season 13, where it seems one of two things has happened to the show. Either:

1. After the smash success of season 12 last year, the editors got comfortable to try a different and more experimental tack of focusing on queens who were all personality and less good at challenges, in the belief that personality alone was what invested viewers in queens, or

2. Season 12 was ALSO originally edited like this (as was its predecessor, S11), to focus on a small group of queens at the detriment of all others, and the finished product (that was a smash success with fans) only wasn’t like that because of hasty re-editing that they didn’t feel the need to do this time.

Because for this S13E07 episode...

The strongest performing queens (Rosé and Denali) were for the third episode running, absolutely sidelined, even after drasticatically improving on the previous challenge that tested these comedy performance skills, which is surely a ready-made dramatic narrative.

Queens who performed alright, moderately who happened to fall into the group of queens production is favoring were praised to the high heavens, extremely effusively, as if what they had done was absolutely groundbreaking and incomparable to anyone else in the show’s history. (e.g. in what world is a silent character that performs physical comedy the hardest character to play, rather than easiest, in an improvisation challenge???)

Queens who performed poorly were only acknowledged as doing so if they had been cast as filler queens, otherwise, their performance was excused and not mentioned, or even some praise was found for very basic attempts.

This was all even emphasized inside the show itself by the filming technique of setting the queens who weren’t performing up on lawn chairs as an audience in another room to comment on each others’ performance, all suspiciously having the same comments which didn’t really match up with what we were actually seeing on screens.

Speaking as a fairly involved Drag Race fan (I mean, I make hypothetical videos of things that didn’t happen in the show...), I don’t watch this show to watch a scripted reality series focusing on performed characters. I watch the show for a competition in what’s essentially a queer community sport medium, an artform, to be judged by professionals with experience.

For queer people’s hard work to be rewarded, and their struggle recognized.

And this way of favoring the same people week on week, regardless of their craft or skill level, while leaving others to sit underappreciated, essentially televising the results of the creative queer struggle - at that, pretty much inadvertently recreating the feeling for these competitors of what it feels to be marginalized by a normative society that doesn’t respect your art and presentation... Mama, this isn’t it. It’s not the kind of thing I want to be spending my time watching in 2021, and it’s not feeding my soul.

[girlcriedwoolf]

✍🏼 On the act of re-reading and Christopher Nolan’s Tenet (2020)

I’m a chronic re-reader. I reread the same books copious times, rewatch the same TV shows over-and-over and find solace in exhausting my own Spotify playlists until the songs become unbearable. I know I’m not alone in this practice - there are thousands of other people around the world that share my comfort of revisiting sources of previous enjoyment, but there are also thousands of people that don’t. It’s always fascinated me - how people can enjoy a book, film or TV show without any desire to experience it again, ideally as soon as possible. I’ve subsequently internalised this as a sign that these individuals live fuller, more exciting (better) lives as they’re able to consume a greater amount and a wider variety of cultural content than I ever will. My tendency to reread Twilight - for, let’s say the seventh time - instead of reading a new book that I know I’d enjoy has been something I’ve become ashamed of. Is it an immature and somewhat cowardly cop-out to revisit a source of comfort from the past rather than engaging with the present? 

At its core, Christopher Nolan’s latest cinematic masterpiece Tenet (2020) is a film about the act rewatching and re-experiencing, both structurally and conceptually. More specifically, a lot of the film rests on the idea of the protagonists travelling to - or existing in - the past, using technology sent from the future, in order to fix the present. It messes with your mind in all the best ways - don’t say I didn’t warn you. The structure of the film lends itself to comment on the nature of time: rejecting a linear, chronological structure of time and instead alluding to at least two other possible shapes that embody the abstract, meta notion of time. 

First, is the illusion to a ‘temporal pincer’ shaped structure (visually resembling an elongated horseshoe shape or alternatively, a hairpin). References to this structure of time are not limited to dialogue alone - instead, a visual reference is seen explicitly in the last part of the film during which a planning meeting for an army drill takes place and a temporal pincer shape is drawn on a whiteboard to convey the operation. In this scene, the protagonist can be heard asking which order the two groups are going to enter the site, to which the commander, Ives, replies that both groups (lines) run simultaneously to each other rather than subsequently, ultimately shattering liner constructs of measuring time. In doing so, Nolan suggests that revisiting the past (or by extension an experience in the past like a book or film) may not be a backwards step but merely a progression in time. In this way, we understand revisiting and experiencing things from the past, not as redundant acts that waste time but instead as signs of time progressing. Tenet embodies the experience of great cinema and the role of film as a medium of storytelling.

True to Nolan’s fascination with ideas of inception, (see: Inception (2010), Tenet itself could be seen to project the experience of watching a film. The audience exists on a different timeline to the film’s narrative and metaphorically ‘catch’ the bullets that are fired the first time around. In watching the film for the first, second, third or fifteenth time, you will start the experience at a different point in time meaning you are going forward but ultimately the nature of rewatching something means you know where you’re going to end up in the future. An aspect of Tenet that draws on a specific interest of Nolan’s is the transformation of scientific concepts depicted through the language of storytelling. The nature of rewatching in itself is paralleled through the scientific concept of inverted entropy, which, in the most basic reduction, is the idea that a system goes from disorder to disorder. In Tenet, the suggestion is that broad systems can go through the process of disorder to order upon the experience of rewatching.

Whilst the scientific aspects of Tenet are largely far beyond my comprehension for obvious reasons, there are other bewildering pieces of the puzzle that raise an infinite number of questions despite seeming simple on the surface. Namely, the character of Kat: devoted mother to a young son and wife of a powerful (corrupt) arms dealer (see: the bad guy). On the first watch, it’s hard to appreciate or understand the role of this character as one of the few female faces in the film. There are some scenes that make you question whether her character’s inclusion is purely veiled misogyny: the idea that men are only capable of making slightly less morally corrupt decisions if they have a beautiful wife by their side, or that a ruthless C.I.A. agent will be immediately thrown off if they so much as a glimpse at a beautiful blonde woman. Yet, after thinking more about Kat’s character I have grown less hostile and more understanding of Nolan’s vision for her as a character burdened with emotional trauma. In relation to Nolan’s toying with time, Kat represents a timeline of autonomy and agency, a dichotomy of an oppressed or empowered woman. The P.T.S.D. that Kat seems to exist with further challenges our understanding of time. Is the trauma something from the past, present or future? Can we ever tell if we have agreed to reject a linear structure for time? Kat appears to be burdened with the emotional trauma of all the characters in the film, whilst they get the privilege of making rational, emotionless decisions; Kat must consider the feelings of not just herself but those around her - like her son - at all times, in turn preparing and recovering from past and future trauma. 

An ambiguous mantra of Tenet comes from Kenneth Branagh’s character, declaring at various points that ‘we live in a twilight world’, a phrase that is initially introduced as the code name for the protagonist’s mission at the film’s opening. This statement garners more meaning at the conclusion of the film as the protagonist and Neil reflect on their wider mission with the protagonist finally becoming aware of the temporal world that Nolan creates. Our protagonist has the revelation that the moment is not the end of their time together as it would be on a linear structure but instead is the beginning of his friendship with Neil on a temporal pincer structure whereby time is not so objectively universal. Though this point does mark the end of Neil’s life, the protagonist is only at the beginning of his experience or rather, re-experience. In exploring the end of Neil’s life, who is played superbly by Robert Pattinson, the idea of twilight reemerges. As Pattinson’s connection with the idea of Twilight runs deep (the start of his career being with the Twilight franchise) it becomes an excellent metaphor for the film’s thesis. Etymologically, beyond the definition relating to the natural process of twilight, the noun holds a second definition of ‘a period or state of ambiguity, absurdity or a gradual decline’. This definition could define the film’s plot as a whole - obscure and ambiguous and seeking to stop the impending event of World War III. Moreover, the natural phenomenon of twilight occurs both at the beginning and end of the day, further rejecting a linear temporal structure. Though devastating, emotionally, for the protagonist to find out about his close friend’s imminent death, it is seemingly not the end but also the beginning of their friendship, impossible to define. In the same way, at the point of twilight, it is impossible - and meaningless - to say whether it is the beginning or end. 

I started my week feeling annoyed at myself for ‘wasting’ time revisiting books I have already read and films I can already recite every line of, but having experienced the cinematic masterpiece of Tenet, I have been forced to consider whether re-experiencing things is a monotonous extension of the past or whether, as Nolan might argue, the act of re-experiencing things is a radical way of bringing the future to the present. 

[firethatgrewsolow]

From the lz site comments - I love reading firsthand accounts:

December 4, 2007 10:07am

Joe Schmidt

I write this to commemorate the 1977 Led Zeppelin U.S. Tour. To honor the Zeppelin legacy, and give an insight into the shows I experienced.

The date is Wednesday, April 6th, 1977. Led Zeppelin are to open tonight at the Chicago Stadium, in the first of a series of four shows. To give reference, I had just turned 17 a week prior and was a devout and rabid Zeppelin freak. My Zeppelin collection was rapidly building, including several bootlegs. The film The Song Remains The Same had just popped in October 1976. So I was very aware of their live capabilities.

Purchasing tickets for the shows was a story in itself. My friends and I decided to sleep overnight at the local Flipside, which was the Ticketron outlet. It was extreme. It was the 1970's. When the tickets went on sale, it became a literal war! Broken doors, shattered glass, fighting and fainting girls! I used my football skills to emerge 10th in line at the ticket dispenser. I was rewarded with Box Seats - Club Circle. The seats I possessed provided a total and unobstructed view of the complete stage. Raised seats just above the main floor. Yes, there is a God!

It was a cold evening the night of the April 6th show. The Chicago Stadium was in a very rough part of town and you had to be on your toes. The t-shirt hawkers were out in full force so I nabbed two real fine Zeppelin shirts. As I entered the facility, I could barely contain myself. There was Jimmy's speaker cabinet with the ZoSo symbol! Bonham had a new and beautiful gold metallic kit, waiting in ready, high atop his riser. The stage appeared sharp and clean with banks of lights and the P.A. hung aerially.

I found my seats and then wandered up the main floor aisle where the lighting man sat. This guy greatly resembled Keith Emerson. His eyes were red, glazed and glassy. I asked him about the set. He informed me Rock + Roll would not be the opener. It's going to be The Song Remains The Same. He added that Page was doing a wild version of Dazed and Confused with special lighting effects. As I walked back to my seat, toilet paper rolls flew off the balconies amid a blue-grey haze from the sweet smoke. Just as I sat in my seat the lights were cut.

Showtime! Pandemonium ensued. It's fucking Zeppelin! I added my own banshee wail to the moment. The spotlight hits Robert Plant. The firecrackers ignite prompting Robert to exclaim " Woa! Woa! Woa! Before we start can you please stop the firecrackers!" Just then Jimmy Page appears, turned toward Bonham . He's in white satin with a dragon design on his shirt's back. No design on his satin pants. Those were added later in the tour. As Page faces the audience I see him with a cigarette dangling from his mouth. He's pacing with nervous energy. Up until that point I had never seen a photo of Jimmy smoking. I was surprised.

Page is strapped up with his doubleneck. The opening D- note is struck, the full spotlight hits Jimmy and it's off to the races. On one knee, Jimmy slides over to Jonesy and JPJ bows his bass toward Pagey. Robert's throwing moves and shapes in front of Page's Marshalls as Bonzo unleashes his percussive fury. This rendition is very solid. Robert's voice sounds very clear and strong. Jimmy's a little sticky on some notes and Bonham plays on too long at the end bit. Which did mess up the segue to The Rover. It came off somewhat disjointed. Colored light changes punctuate the four opening chord strikes of Sick Again. As the song kicks in, I notice their doing it in a slower and funkier arrangement. Page's solo crawls out of the stew. Short and fiery. The ending is on the money. The strong ending elicits a wild audience response. Robert then reiterates to the crowd- " Cool the explosives!" Adding that the last time they played Chicago was 1973. I thought to myself. That isn't correct. It was 1975.

The harmonized opening lick of Nobody's Fault But Mine soars across the Stadium. Now on the Les Paul, Page's E7 th chord overhang and arm sweep captivating the masses. As Page and Plant play in unison. Bonham and Jones are backlit with spotlights as they play their counterpoint rhythm. Hot Stuff! But, Robert's harmonica solo is indecipherable and Jimmy's lead bears no relation to the studio version.The solos sound very early tour. Damn.

In My Time Of Dying slithers out of Page's Danelectro as the concert progresses. There are some real problems with this one tonight. The missed breaks are glaringly obvious. During the fast part they kept trying to find a way out of it. Slop. Robert then goes into a homily about Chicago Blues legends Buddy Guy, Willie Dixon, Muddy Waters.

Blue light solely envelopes Page as he picks out the intro of Since I've Been Loving You. Crystalline notes that were chilling! Robert sounding much better than 1975. Fuck it! I'm going to the front! I start my trudge up to the stage. I was evasive and agile, my adrenaline surging as I approached the stage barrier. There were people shooting photos , so I nestled in with them. Right in front of me is Jimmy Page blasting out the climactic solo of SIBLY . High register notes to discordant low bends. John Bonham kicking it in his tuxedo t- shirt. My chest cavity being pummeled by the force of the band. Plant hollers out- " Jimmy Page! Guitar!"

Directly in front of me, Jimmy acknowledges the crowd as he sits on Bonham's drum riser drinking a Heineken. Robert introduces Jonesy as " The most debonair member of the band. He can speak two languages. Featuring John Paul Jones on keyboard.. No Quarter!" Page stands up and walks over to his theramin. He throws a karate chop in front of it emitting a sonic Woop! Woop! The dry ice filters in, shrouding the first 15 rows. Jonesy in emerald light plays the opening theme. Page and Bonham fall in powerfully. Jimmy's wah wah piercing through it all. Jones hints at Rachmaninov, as green lasers flutter behind him. As JPJ does his solo, Jimmy and Robert are 20 feet from me. They were having a drink and chatting near Page's theramin. They seem to be laughing about something. Then it's on to the main improv guitar solo. Jones plays the transition as Bonzo lays into a mid tempo feel. Seeing Pagey so close, jabbing at chords as his body reflected every note he emitted. Switching pick ups to emphasize tone shifts and dynamics. He was dancing, slashing and hypnotizing. At the solo's finale, I'm shooed out of the front and return to my seat. As I walk back, the last notes of No Quarter expire. What an experience!

Robert admits to some band rustiness when he introduces Ten Years Gone - " This is a thing that we never did until 3 weeks ago. And we're still running through it. As we are through everything." Out comes the now famous Telecaster B- Bender. Page twangs out a few notes. JPJ plays 12- string acoustic. Not yet in ownership of his triple- neck. Bass pedals at his feet. Jimmy and Jonesy are loud and full, crashing out the melodic riff. Even more powerful as Bonham enters. Page's middle solo is a mess. Missed and clanging notes. Robert sounds fantastic on this song! Great choice Guys!

Bonham strolls out from behind his kit. Plant announces - " To the front of the stage for the 1st time. John Bonham. Looking very suave. In his 2- piece tuxedo." Four chairs are set up as the Zeppelin take their seats. But the monitors are feeding back and JPJ's guitar is out of tune. There'a a lull in the action to fix matters, and the crowd does become restless. Jimmy , now on mandolin, strums out the opening notes of Battle of Evermore. It was a riveting performance, especially the swirling jam.

The monitor system from hell continues to plague the acoustic set. Robert is now clearly agitated - " We have an acoustic guitar on this number gents. So turn the bloody thing up! Last time we played here I remember the night very well, cause I'd got the flu and nearly died. And, the monitors were so bad they were doing just what they're doing now. Get it Right!!!"

Going To California is superlative. Conjuring images of tranquil and beautiful hillsides. The Minstrels at play. A magic moment.

Robert teases with a bit of Elvis' Surrender. He then spiels about the Black Country describing it as - "The land where men are men and sheep are nervous!' Page then provides a classic moment as he leans into his microphone and drolly states - " It's better to live one day as a king than a 1,000 as a peasant." JPJ brings out a bizarre looking stand- up bass for the Black Country Woman / Bron- Yr Aur Stomp combination. Bonzo's back on skins and Jimmy displays some fine fingerpicking during his solo turn.

More equipment woes precede White Summer/ Black Mt. Side. And, the song itself is an utter shambles. Audibly out of tune, Jimmy makes a game of it. He chases himself trying to retune as the song progresses! Able to regroup, the seated Page plucks out a few more notes, kicks out of his wooden chair and then....

Kashmir! From one spotlight on Page to every light in the rig, the Stadium exploded in heat and light. Huge spinning globes above the stage showering light shards over us. Robert confidently projecting as the Golden God! Page as the Whirling Dervish propelled by Bonham's cannon shots. I will never forget during the coda, on one of Bonzo's final flurries, Jimmy stutter- stepping his way across the length of the stage. From JPJ's side to his side. Arms outstretched and his mouth agape in some euphoric state. Indelible.

A beach ball bounces above the main floor. Playfully, Robert comments - " A soccer match!"

Plants ominously introduces Over The Top: " We've been here 3 or 4 days and he hasn't been to jail yet." It's the Out On The Tiles riff and into Bonzo's Barrage! I had a straight shot at him as I looked through my binoculars. The cat would not let up! His drum kit motored out to the front of the stage for the Hands solo and Phased Tympani segment. During his big build up before the band returns, I saw Jimmy standing by his amp watching in amazement. Bonzo turned and looked at Pagey. You could literally feel the head of steam that Bonham was generating! I can still see it. You must hear this version! The crowd went nuts as Bonzo soaked it in. He had big smile and gave a hand wave.

Onto Jimmy's Noise Symphony. What can I say? What I did say was ' Where the fuck is Dazed and Confused?" It was a big disappointment for me. I thought, Dazed and Confused represented so much of their power, fluidity and mystery. I was shocked they didn't play it! Between the harmonizer solo and the violin bow it was like a white noise experiment. The laser pyramid was visually spectacular. Bonham rumbles around his phased tympani and a wash of sound leads into the first tentative notes of Achilles Last Stand. This song did not come off well at all this evening. Sloppy playing that gets worse as the song progresses. An atrocious solo by Mr. Page. It's as though he forgot how to play the song!

Now the set closer, Stairway To Heaven begins and is performed faithfully. Just as Bonzo joins in, Jimmy's guitar strap breaks. Ray Thomas dashes out and attends to Jimmy. The solo kicks into gear as golden light shimmers off Page's white suit and Robert grooves with his tambourine. The compact lead gives way to Robert's pleading vocal lines and the final title lyric. Brilliant white light hits a huge spinning globe as the band head off stage. A several minute wait at least before they return.

Encore time. The band reappear and Bonzo begins Rock + Roll. Major explosions ignited onstage give off tangible heat. Jimmy's lead is loud and errant. A big bang ending. Rah! Offstage once again for several minutes before one more.

Push! Push! It's Trampled Under Foot! The fucking loudest song of the evening. Page had his amp on 11. Jones and Bonham were slamming . Jimmy's solo was absolutely blistering. Peeling off licks with conviction. Robert and Jimmy as one doing their Push Push bit had everyone rocking. A great finale!

So concludes the first show in Chicago. It was beautiful, inconsistent, mind blowing , sloppy and sublime all in one show. I'd love to see them again. That's right! There's tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow...........................

[hollenka99]

The One Where Jackie Meets The Others

Summary: Chapter 4. Jackie enjoys a couple trips out with Marvin.

Warnings: death and blood mentions

@bupine @badlypostedeverything

Things don't smoothly transition back to the way they were following that morning. However, they both agreed it was clear Anti's intentions were to divide them. Therefore, it would be dumb to give him that satisfaction. When Marvin asks, out of pure curiosity, about the mullet, Jackie doesn't really have an answer. He'd simply liked the style. But maybe it was time to move on. The chances of him returning to the '80s were particularly slim. With the green having faded weeks ago, he has it cut so it now only reaches his ears. The style is nice but he does miss his old look. He supposes Marvin was pleased with this development. He definitely got a lot of joy from teasing Jackie about how much curlier his shorter hair became following showers. The only quip he has in response is that the hero's hair wasn't much better when wet either. The next thing on the agenda was the excursion to Pizza Hut. The four of them agree to meet on Thursday. In preparation, Marvin offers Jackie a copy of the restaurant's document on allergy information. Marvin faces falls when he learns just how many items he loved posed a certain risk to Jackie's health. Nope, no pepperoni for him. No garlic breadsticks or cheesy fries either. Fried items were a contamination risk too, apparently. He lies when his friend asks about stuffed crust. Jackie trying the crust option was one of the main reasons they'd agreed to visit the establishment. Besides, it wasn't guaranteed it would trigger a reaction. He could possibly get away with sampling a little of Marvin's crust if he didn't push his luck. It is comforting to learn Henrik, the friend who made educational videos for others, had coeliac's disease and therefore had to be wary when eating as well. Jameson was Marvin's cousin of sorts. Their grandmothers had been sisters. Then their mothers were friends, leading to their sons to develop a good relationship while growing up. Jameson was a performer who used his control over time and sound for entertainment purposes. He and Marvin frustratingly run late due to the hero misplacing his wallet. They are apologetic to Henrik and Jameson who have already found a table and ordered drinks for themselves. Jameson has neat brown hair that extends down his face to his jawline and closely surrounds his mouth. Henrik, on the other hand, has black hair which has been swept back as well as glasses. The two of them promise they don't mind the delay. They haven't been here for ages anyway. In time, four pizzas are delivered to the table. There is the pan BBQ americano, gluten free Hawaiian, cheesy bites pepperoni and stuffed crust BBQ beef and onion. Marvin suggests he and Jackie trade a slice. His friend makes a supposedly humourous comment about how he identifies as Jackie's pizza base but it's lost on the former drummer. How someone can deeply relate to dough that's been baked in a pan, Jackie has no clue. He allows Marvin to take a slice regardless. However, when it comes to him returning the gesture, Jackie insists he only wants a little bit of his friend's crust. Half a slice's worth of stuffed crust is placed on top of his own pizza. Jackie regrets it as soon as it enters his mouth. God damn it, it was actually really tasty. He could see why Marvin was so enthusiastic about it. His expression remains neutral as he chews, well aware he has an audience. He hates how disappointed Marvin looks when Jackie gives a bullshit review about the cheese within being too chewy. Allergies and cross-contamination risks fucking sucked. Screw his body for being an asshole who overreacted to a commonly used spice. "Oh well, more for me." Marvin winks as he recovers from the blow before stealing a piece of chicken from Jackie plate. Alright, maybe letting one small inconvenience ruin tonight in his mind was stupid. Marvin had said he'd act as translator. Which was a lovely gesture. Jackie was grateful he was prepared to sacrifice part of his evening to play the middleman so he and Jameson could communicate. Except Marvin got sidetracked at one point and had delved into a whole conversation with his cousin, spoke entirely in BSL. It looked like a funny one too. Jackie was glad the pair were enjoying their evening. He stuck to conversing with Henrik instead. It's a struggle as they don't seem to have much in common. That is until Jackie absentmindedly asked what sort of food Henrik enjoyed. This in turn triggered the German man sitting opposite him to enthuse about fried potato slices with pieces of bacon and onion. Jackie himself launches into a story about how his mother used to work with a woman who had family in West Germany. Then this German colleague would sometimes write down a recipe or two to give to them. In no uncertain terms, those foreign dishes beat jacket potatoes or beans on toast any day. The four men give their stomachs a chance to settle a little while they chat as a group. Then it was time to finish off the night with ice cream shakes. Two strawberries, an oreo and a chocoholic are brought to the table. Although there had been several mentions of what Jameson did for a living, it is only at this point that a proper conversation about is initiated. "Jameson's doing a show on the 4th. I think we should go. What do you say?" Jackie's response is delayed due to Marvin making the suggestion just as he takes a long sip of his strawberry shake. "Oh uh, yeah, sure. What exactly will be in the show? Time stuff, right?" Jameson taps the side of his nose with a wry smile. The younger of the cousins translates this as "I believe he's saying that's for him to know and for you to find out." The performer signs something. "Expect the unexpected." Marvin rolls his eyes with a smile remaining on his face. "Oh yeah, like when you get a younger member of the audience to volunteer for your sound tricks. I once heard Hacker T Dog from CBBC sing Thinking Out Loud, you know. That was an experience." Jameson makes a comment. "I haven't seen the weirdest combinations? Well yeah, I sure hope I haven't. Kids' minds can come up with bizarre things. Henrik, especially, should know that." Henrik nods to this with a sense that this was a profound understatement. The banter carries on and Jackie soon feels like less of an outsider. The ice creams shakes eventually get drained as the evening draws to a close. Once all the goodbyes and "It was nice to meet you"s are over, the tow of them hop into Marvin's car to head home. Bohemian Rhapsody happens to begin playing on the radio as they set off. Jackie doesn't even have to ask before he's turning the volume up for both their benefits. They haphazardly fall into a duet. Jackie's heard Marvin singing absentmindedly to himself before this. He therefore already knows he has a good voice. But it isn't until tonight that he's able to hear it out loud. "I need you to do me a favour. Do you mind headbanging like in Wayne's World?" "What?" "Wayne's World. Never seen the film myself but there's a pretty well known scene where a bunch of them are in the car while this song is playing. Then during the instrumental that's coming up, they really rock out. I've always wanted to do it while in a car but I always seem to be the driver when I get the chance. So do you mind rocking out in a minute on my behalf?" Jackie chuckles. "Sure. My pleasure." As Freddie finishes claiming Beelzebub has a devil put aside for him, Jackie springs into action. He moves his head back and forth in rapid succession to the music. The pair follow along with the next verse as loudly as possible. At least, they attempt to. It isn't long before they have both descended into raucous laughter. "Thanks!" Marvin manages in between breaths when it calms. "We should do that again. With us stationary next time so you can do it too." "Deal." Marvin bursts into laughter once more and Jackie thinks he's growing particularly fond of it. --- Another crime scene, another person fighting to remain alive while bleeding from the neck. Cat is only able to stand by while the paramedics do their job. He'd like to beg them to not take this guy to hospital, to not risk history repeating itself. But it's not like he can ask anyone to skip properly treating the victim. He's sure everyone here knows this situation is a catch 22. However, they can't do anything other than perform their jobs. It takes great deal of convincing but Cat is allowed to stay outside the patient's room for the night. He's been standing guard for a good while when midnight passes. A doctor comes along on her rounds. She speaks to Cat and the other member of security he's been spending the night with. While she's talking, Anti's latest victim begins coding. Any and all resuscitation efforts prove futile. The guy is gone. So is the doctor. If she even existed in the first place. And Cat suspects Anti himself is long gone too. The day afterwards, he catches some reporting of the murder while flicking through channels. The victim has an identity now. There's a name, age and grieving loved ones. The television is bitterly switched off as Marvin searches for his notebook instead. Joining the countless other entries is 27/4/19 - Nick Shaw, 34, wife + 2 little kids The next time he sees Anti, he's not fucking around. Enough was enough. Marvin was putting a stop to this once and for all, by whatever method was necessary. --- The first Saturday of May is a cloudy one. That doesn't stop a crowd from flocking to the Jolly Gentleman's show. Chase is still getting out of the car when Niamh races out, the name Oscar having barely left her mouth before doing so. It is with great relief that Chase witnesses his daughter collide with a familiar man. The pair of single fathers briefly kiss as a part of a greeting while the five year old girl is returned. Her twin sister and older brother hover around as the greetings continue. Eventually, Fletcher drifts into his own group with both of Oscar's boys. The seven of them make their way inside. "So where is this friend of yours?" Oscar asks as they take their seats. "Do you see him?" "Not yet. He should be bringing his new roommate with him." His scanning of the tent is halted. "Speak of the devil." Chase spots Marvin entering the area, along with another man whom his best assumptions identified as Jackie. They seat themselves in the same row as the fathers. The children sit directly in front of the adults. Marvin introduces him to Jackie as Dr Chase Brody, emphasising the title. "I'm just spending the day out with my kids, there's no need to be throwing my doctorate around. Chase." He offers his hand for Jackie to shake. "And this is Fletcher, Ciera and Niamh." Oscar carries on the round of greetings by introducing himself, Milo and Max. They spend a full minute going through the mundane pleasantries before Marvin and Jackie finally stay seated. As the performance begins, Chase relaxes. They'd filled the wait time with small talk and chatter amongst themselves, however, he had intended for today to be a chance to spend time with his partner. He gives Marvin the benefit of the doubt. The thing is, Jackie came across as a decent enough guy. He also understandably seemed a little overwhelmed by the amount of people in the group. If the chit chat served as a distraction, then fine by him. Besides, he only looked like he was in his late teens anyway. They did share a history of drumming when they were younger though which was a nice surprise. That certainly allowed for a whole avenue of conversation. As soon as Jameson emerged to start his performance, the auditory atmosphere changed. There were speakers around the place and at certain points of the show it almost felt as if the sound was travelling around the space as a physical thing. He also seemingly teleported to a different spot than moments before. A woman was completely flabbergasted when she discovered a small thank you card in her handbag that certainly hadn't been there when she arrived with no easy explanation for how it got there. Throughout the performance, one of his colleagues acted as his commentator. Among his other tricks, the Jolly Gentleman sets a row of plants on fire with an elongated lighter. One of his colleagues dramatically shows up with a bucket of water to extinguish it. The performer stops him with a raised hand. He then holds the lighter, still producing a flame, up for the audience. It trails across the plants, erasing any evidence that there had been any combustion taking places. Not a single scorch mark or hint of smoke in sight. A little girl is summoned from the audience. She's about the twins' age, maybe slightly younger. After being asked what her favourite character was (Daddy Pig, of all things) she was encouraged to sing a song she really liked (I'm a Little Teapot). Already familiar with work stories his friend had, he knew what to expect. The crowd was treated to Daddy Pig's rendition of I'm a Little Teapot, complete with actions. Or at least, they were partially treated to it as the volunteer kept giggling into the microphone throughout her performance. It is evident that Jackie is too enthralled by the show to notice the barely subtle yet fond glances in his direction from the one sitting next to him. Ah, so it was like that, huh? Good for them. Chase catches Marvin's arm as they head out, taking advantage of Jackie going to speak with Jameson. It would be more discreet if Marvin's friend wasn't in earshot. With a wink, he teases his friend. "And they were roommates." "Hey, shut up. It's not like that." "Sure. And Oscar is nothing more than my buddy." "Chase-" "Seriously, what have you got to lose? If he's straight then it might get a little awkward for a moment. But I feel like he would be reasonable and appreciate the honesty. Well, you know him better than I do. You tell me." "You sure?" "Listen, I was already married to a woman when I started being cool with liking dudes. But since the split I've been around the block a few times. It is going to be fine." Marvin moves towards his car as Jackie re-emerges from backstage. It's clear he's still very much skeptical about it all. "If you say so, Chase." ---- Joel makes the judgement that Jackie would probably be fine to travel through his portals a week later. His apartment is pleasant. The ledge of one of his windows has a cushion to improve comfort. Jackie notices remnants of blu tack on the wall where something had clear been removed, which was odd. He almost makes a joke about it but decides against it. "Well... fáilte!" Joel spreads his arms to gesture to the whole room. "Wait, you know some Irish?" "Yep. Had an Irish grandmother who got me conversational." "Really? Nice. In that case, go raibh maith agat." Jackie chuckles. "So... anyway, you going to tell me how you know I'm from '86 or not?" "Okay, so you already know about my portals." "Are you trying to tell me you portalled me through time?" "What?! No, of course not. Bold of you to assume I have any control over the 4th dimension. I meant, I have powers and therefore I inherited the ability to have them." "So how then?" "One of my dads has a time based power and I guess, that trickled down to me a little. Stuff like that happens sometimes. I think Jameson might have an unusually strong immune system because his mother has enhanced immunity. Either way, I just have a sixth sense for time stuff." "...Right." Joel huffs in annoyance. "Alright, believe me or don't. The point is I want to help you go back to your own time if that's what you want." Ah. That's where that elephant was hiding. He was slowly getting used to the future but there was an inexplicable longing to return to where he came from. He was never meant to be 20 in 2019. There was no denying that fact. And as much as he enjoyed hanging out with Marvin and the rest of his new friends, it felt wrong somehow. That said, he was particularly good at going with the flow where necessary. If he was stuck in this century for good, then he'd deal with that. But if there was a chance he could be returned to 1986, there was no way he wouldn't take it. "How?" A sly smile appears on Joel's face. "Ah, for that, we will need Jameson and Henrik's help. All we have to do is wait for the right moment to ask for it. And seeing as it's now May, I don't think we'll have to wait that long."

[mayonakazkrazy]

Soooooooo I wanna talk about an Animated Movie

One night recently, I may have been watching a show that started giving me too many... ‘too real life’ vibes, when what i needed in the moment was ‘taking a break to mentally and emotionally recharge’ time. SOOOO to redirect my overstimulated brain I changed over to a ‘safe’ non threatening movie, Monster House.

Spoilers below the cut in a sort of review as well as some random details that i noticed that make me go ‘... well that got real fast...’ and one tangent/character dive i been wanting to get into toward the end.

Also fair warning about my run on sentences... they’re not going anywhere

Monster House is... a CG movie that oddly enough gives off Claymation vibes... at least to me from certain style design choices. I honestly feel that sort of works in it’s favor since the CG of the mid 2000s was.... terrifying if care wasn’t take in the process. Not good if you want you film to be taken seriously, buuut this movie manages to tow the line because a) it IS supposed to be at least a little scary to kids... haunted house? and b) even though the characters take things seriously enough the writing itself doesn’t try TOO hard to pretend it’s more than it is.

As it stands, the movie is Ok - in the best possible vein of ok. Not some epic, groundbreaking thing but I think it warrants being on people’s list of fun movies to play on Halloween. Visually interesting and funny, you can tell that the people who made the movie at least had fun working on it; and cared more about the project than some other kids’ movies that get put out purely for the easy cash grab via paint by numbers. (I found out that this movie was nominated for Best Animated Feature apparently?! like... i like this movie but... i don’t know, i’ll have to see what other movies came out that year cuz while i like it i’d like to reiterate that i don’t know if it’s BEST (animated/kids) movie of the year material...)

I can honestly say that it was at the Start if not ahead of the ‘remember the 80s?’ fad in movies. Again, not to the film’s discredit. It’s less concerned with smacking you over the head with ‘EIGHTIES!’ and is more set in the time period to make things more plausible. Ya got kids running around unattended for hours without parental guidance, and a number of other 80′s tropes that are, easily ignored at worse and make story elements more believable at best. I mean... .when ELSE would you believe that kids could run around basically unattended for HOURS just before Halloween....hell one kid ACTUALLY STEALS an amount of cold medicine that would have you on MULTIPLE investigative lists even 15 years ago. And NOT just because “the parents are just bad parents”... there’s arguably only one ACTUALLY bad parent in the film who’s only mentioned off-hand but i’ll talk about in a little bit. The rest are parents with semi justifiable reasons for either not believing their respective kid about the haunted house or not thinking they’re NOT unattended (ie. someone’s supposed to be babysitting one of these kids but SURPRISE! she’s in the “selfish teen is a disinterested babysitter spending more time talking to or about boys than ACTUALLY doing the job she’s paid to do” trope)

TLDR on that paragraph, this movie spends so little time being WE”RE THE 80′S! that i wasn’t even sure WHEN it was supposed to take place if it wasn’t for the lack of iPhones and the stationwagons all over.

ANYWAY. some details that tend to stand out to me with this movie tend to be the things that we just get to hear about briefly and are arguably meant to encourage conversation if someone NEEDS to know more about it rather than just getting EVERYTHING explained for no good reason. So enjoy me conversing with myself here.

First up, Chowders family life is kind of sad. Like i said earlier there’s only one or two parents to the three main characters of the movie that people would likely consider ACTUALLY bad. 

The lead’s, DJ’s, parents go out of town at the start of the movie and could reasonably be expected to think that their kid was being watched by the babysitter (see trope rant above). 

The mother of the token female character (Jenny) is Maaayyybe a bad parent but that is to be argued as we only have a few reasons to believe so and some can be explained by the aforementioned 80′s era lack of parental awareness. All we really know is that, this girl is walking around selling candy on her own, gets nearly eaten by the Monster House, and when she calls her mother to tell her about it, the mom doesn’t believe her as no parent ever does about monsters. Sooooo while she does get points off for her kid not even having someone with her during the candy selling, we also don’t hear from or about her again for the rest of the movie until just, coming to pick her up at the end. She get’s a *shrug* on the scale of good or bad parenthood.

Then there’s our secondary male character, Chowder The Dumb One Comic Relief. He’s the one with arguably the most complicated family that we get any insight to. and it’s pretty much just from his off-handed comments on it and a single snipet of a phone call we get to overhear. Literally, what you are about to read, my brain managed to over think from these freakin context clues... SO, it WOULD be SUPER easy to miss what we get about this family and just chalk it up to ‘OH those kids movie parents and their rampant absenteeism and DEATH’ but no. Chowder’s family life is... a little sad if i’m honest. we only hear about 2 calls regarding these kids and their parents. One is when Jenny calls her mom to try to tell on the House for eating her and the other is when Chowder’s dad calls looking for his son. NOW, Chowder himself tells DJ (and the audience) that his Dad is working at a Pharmacy the night Chowder goes over to DJ’s house and nearly gets himself eaten by the Monster House. The boys end up spending the entire night after that, watching the house to see if anybody or anything else gets attacked. Chowder’s dad doesn’t call DJ’s house to find out where his kid is until morning, so we’re lead to believe that his lack of knowledge about the boys’ impromtu sleep-over because he works the graveyard shift (or at least late enough that he would assume Chowder’s in bed until waking the next morning). 

The somewhat sad part comes with the second bit of information we get from Chowder after he tells DJ that his dad is at work that evening and it’s, “Mom is at the movies with her personal trainer”. 0.o ooooooh the scandal... i mean, yeah in general cheating spouses isn’t exactly the most uncommon occurance....anywhere. but isn’t it just a little sad that part of the reason that this is not only the reason that Chowder is home alone (making it SUPER easy for him to just leave when DJ calls). But she’s also apparently gone long enough to ALSO be out so late as to not notice that her kid is GONE all night. Looking at it nowadays just... reminds ya WHY there were ads in the 90′s asking parents where their kids were at 10pm.

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE

well not about the cheating Chowder’s mom part.

More like the WHOLE thing that got me wanting to type about Monster House in the first place.

A sad story with more potential doom than maybe even the film intended.

YOU SEE

A major plot twist of the movie is WHO is possessing the house. DJ and crew initially believe to be the someone they kind of know - the house’s owner, Mr. Horace Nebbercracker. At first glance, Nebbercracker is obsessively protective of his house, literally the first scene of the film is him SCREAMING in a little girl’s face and confiscating her tricycle when she accidentally ends up on his lawn (again, where are her parents?). He’s literally Mr. “Get off my lawn”.

So it’s not difficult to imagine that he’s the one haunting the place when the house seems to come life immediately after his sudden heart attack. (PS. WTF to the writers cause we AND THE TWO TEENAGED LEADS see the heart attack happen real time and the boys may have even contributed to it!! THERAPY FOR EVERYONE) Especially since Dj’s babysitter invites over her.....boyfriend? maybe. who reaffirms that Mr. Nebbercracker has been screaming at kids and confiscating toys for YEARS. yeah, super easy to see this dude sticking around after death and continuing his time honored tradition of AGGRESSIVELY dealing with trespassers. Only now as a house that WILL eat you just for stepping on the grass.

So as you may have already guessed, this later gets proved to NOT be the case. As Horace ends up returning in the climax alive and well (enough to sneak out of the hospital and steal an ambulance LIKE A BOSS).

Throughout the course of the movie, we and the kids find out that this creepy old man once had a wife but not only is she not around, rumor has it that he ATE her. for some reason. When the kids go into the house to try to ‘kill’ it and stop the house from eating people, they find a bunch of old pictures inside that at least confirm there was a wife at some point. When they end up in the basement among the piles and piles of stuff that’s landed in the yard over the years, the ALSO find a shrine to Mrs. Nebbercracker. Which is also her final resting place (a spot where she was apparently covered completely with cement).

DJ puts 2 and 2 together pretty quick when Mr. Nebbercracker returns and starts trying to calm the house. Mrs. Constance Nebbercracker is the one haunting the place, not Horace. That’s when we unlock Horace’s Tragic Back Story:

Sometime in the 1930′s Horace (a former demolition man) fell in love with Constance. Constance was being exploited as an “attraction” at a circus/freak-show at the time (during the height of just being abnormally tall, short, or obese made you a relevant ‘freak’). This place made her sleep OUTSIDE IN A CAGE and you know people were happily entertaining themselves by throwing things at her and laughing at both her weight  ‘freakishness’ and helplessness.

So to follow a simple love story, the sweet skinny boy sneaks her away, his feelings are reciprocated, and the two start their life together. They’ve gotten to that nice, building their own house stage when everything goes terribly wrong.

For me, this is sort of the start of my opinion that... things for the Nebbercrackers weren’t likely to go well anyway. Like we got the impression from their wedding photos that they managed to have SOME normalcy in their honeymoon phase but when we see the beginnings of the house, Horace is JUST THEN taking apart the cage/cart that Constance was kept in. i’m presuming he was originally gonna use the various parts in the house but dear christ that means that not much time may have past between leaving the circus (guess they at least didn’t care enough about her ‘as property’ to keep the couple on the run?) to getting married and going on a vacation to buying the land and beginning construction.

That said, the mid-twentieth century isn’t exactly known for it’s forwardness on mental health, and oooooohhhhh boy, if this poor couple aint a fitting example that “and they lived happily ever after” doesn’t happen often. Halloween happens to come around and kids get up to their traditional mischief by, what else? Egging what little of the Nebbercracker house existed at the time. 

(Disclaimer i am an expert in nothing so i may get somethings wrong here but this IS just me hashing out an idea i have) When we first see Constance, we see someone actually throwing food and trash at her while she’s “on display”. And when we see her at the skeleton of the Nebbercracker house, she get VISIBLY upset at the children throwing things at the house, she seeks out her husband telling him that those monsters ‘are attacking [their] house and they’re hurting [her]’. In my mind, she and Horace likely haven’t really dealt with her trauma from the circus. Yes Horace removed her from the bad situation and stopped the trauma, but as of good ole 1935, i doubt they really talked about it much, let alone saw a therapist. Both likely just trying to power forward INTO their future.

Horace’s confusion when Constance becomes triggered by the children throwing things and laughing like assholes shows us that he likely hadn’t seen or had to deal with a situation like this before. He does try to get her to focus on him and remind her that she’s with him and not back at the circus, so maybe he’s had to reassure her (like after a nightmare or maybe he got small panics when in more crowded areas - thus the house that’s likely on the edge of town since they don’t have close neighbors). But the course of events indicates that he’d never seen such a STRONG episode from her. 

Perhaps she’d just finally gotten comfortable with being truly free since they could build their own home and so the perceived ‘attack’ on her home became an attack to her safety and happiness. When she goes to her husband, her savior, and (in her eyes) he doesn’t fix it/ he doesn’t get the chance to. When that egg hit HER BODY. it was game over.

Constance tried to take matters into her own hands, remove the ‘threat’ herself.... with the axe Horace was holding. Now it’s a kids movie so no children come even close to getting hurt, but one could take this to mean that, if constance had lived, she may have only gotten more violent as time went on if she didn’t get the help she needed... help Horace may not have been able to give or get for her.

We’ll never know since the way you get a haunted house is... pretty obvious. In a desparate attempt to stop Constance from likely maiming some kids or hurting herself, Horace causes constance to fall into their uncovered basement. As she falls, she tries to grab the cement mixer for stability and ends up dumping the load on top of herself in the basement (making for a VERY creepy site for a shrine). Horace’s guilt compels him to finish the house and he stays there.

Now such a violent, angry moment right before death MEANS THAT SOMETHIN’S GETTING HAUNTED. SO Constance’s spirit possesses the house and begins “defending” itself from the people of the growing town that happen to get too close. ESPECIALLY on Halloween... ya know one of the nights where EVERYBODY goes out and willingly approaches people’s front doors.

Throughout the rest of the flashback we Mr. Nebbercracker trying to keep people away with more and more desperation. Likely because DJ and Chowder haven’t witnessed the first of Constance’s victims. As the movie’s climax pics up we see how Horace talks to the house, trying to placate the angry spirit by taking care of the house and trying to be the first responder when someone enters the lawn before Constance gets to use HER WAY.

From here, Horace’s relationship with the House begins to look...pretty abusive actually. When he gets back home from the hospital he’s grumpy to the kids, but then we see him pause, he’s apprehensive as he turns to get back to the house. From the expressions the house is given and the way Mr Nebbercracker responds, it’s TELLING him to get HOME NOW. He’s timid, and fearful, and the kids begin to get the idea that if he goes into the house now, he may not come out again. And when the house LITERALLY GETS UP AND STARTS CHASING PEOPLE, he’s desperate. He tries soothing her, he tries to redirect her away from the targets of her anger - the kids. 

Can you just imagine the 45 years leading up to this? Horace having to isolate himself from the whole town until it’s just him and this angry house under the pretext of “IF YOU DO NOT DEFEND HOUSE THEN THE HOUSE WILL DO IT”. He even get’s the heart breaking line of “then i’ll have nobody”. Like so many victims that feel they CAN’T leave their homes. I like to imagine that the house is PRIMARILY motivated by the rage and fear that was driving Constance in her final moments but like... what if she hadn’t? Even if she didn’t kill those kids from 45 years ago, would they have been able to get her the help she needed? Like so many back in those days, Constance and Horace likely would’ve only had the option to self medicate or get her institutionalized (ie. Imprisoned again). Would that have devolved into Constance manipulating Horace with things like “i won’t make it without you” and similar tactics. Would have maybe gone the other way? with Constance still not technically being free because Horace would (intentionally or unintentionally) encourage her dependence on him... 

Anyway, when pleading to the house to just leave the children alone fails, he makes the decision to stop her. with dynamite from his Demo days. 

Constance does not take this well.

From there we get the exciting confrontation where the main characters destroy the house WITHOUT the self-sacrifice that Mr. Nebbercracker may have been planning. We even get a nice little moment where constance’s spirit (unattached to the destroyed house) get’s to move on after a quick goodbye to Horace. And now we get our kids movie happy ending with DJ, Chowder, and Jenny helping Mr. Nebbercracker begin redistributing the pile of toys still in what’s left of the basement to trick-or-treaters and the living things that the house ate somehow climb out of whatever pocket dimension they were trapped in. Nobody seems to question why Nebbercracker’s house is just a crater now....and that this old man that left the hospital without a discharge is now homeless....

Buuuuuuuut i’ve been typing for like 2 hours now. I still have thoughts about other side characters and maybe more exploring the dynamics of technically being in a relationship with a haunted house. buuuuut i need to sleep.

Stay nerdy fellow overthinkers.

[i-am-regular-scenarios]

No One Will Know, Unless You Let Them - Jaehyun Smut

Pairing: Reader X Jaehyun

Words: 2300+

Genre: Smut

Warnings: Sexual / mature content and language, Exhibitionism, Voyeurism

Request: “Hi could you do Jaehyun smut ? He fingering you under the blanket when the members are around. Thank You xoxo”

~

“We’ll be waiting for you,” is all your boyfriend Jaehyun could say before his warm hand is sliding itself off your waist as he leaves the kitchen. Your skin still warm from where his fingers once touched you. You knew his intentions, you could see right through every word his perfect lips dropped to you. He was being overly touchy today and it could only really mean one thing.

I mean you couldn’t really blame him, you are about as bothered right now as he is. It had been a few weeks since you two had had a moment alone together, and the time apart can really way down on a person. It’s just that, for the amount of time you’d been away from Jaehyun, you had also been away from the rest of the boys. You missed all of them, almost as much as your dear boyfriend.

You think back to Jae’s not so subtle words and chuckle to yourself. Any one else would have taken his ‘we’ll be waiting’, innocently, but not you. He seemed to have no shame here tonight in the middle of Johnny’s kitchen, and as much as you would love to take his extended hand and let him lead you to the car, you had other plans. It was one of your monthly movie nights with the boys and you wouldn’t miss one for the world. You and Jae could spend as much time as you wanted to back at your house, but it’s pretty hard to get all of the boys together for a night. You weren’t going to leave this house for a while, no matter how much Jaehyun wanted you to.

Your grip tightens around the bowl of popcorn you are holding as you make your way into the living room. The buttery smell of the freshly popped snack comes wafting up to your nose and causes a smile to find its way to your lips. The subtleness of the aroma causing happy memories to resurface in your brain. Countless nights of snuggling up with Jaehyun and the rest of NCT in their dorm as some random movie plays on the screen, comes into mind. The happy memories seem like they would last forever. Like you thought earlier, you are no stranger to the insane schedule the boys are subjected to, so when you can see them all take a deep breath and relax, even if it’s only for a few hours, it is nice. It makes you feel almost as good as you know it makes them feel.

You walk over to what seems to be the only empty seat in the entire room and make yourself comfortable. You turn your head to Jaehyun and notice that he already has his own bowl of popcorn resting on his lap. Mark seems to notice this too as he looks over at the bowl resting in your hands and his face breaks into a smile. His eyes flash up to yours and then back at the bowl, silently begging for you to give it to him, and no one else. You smile at his expression and slowly reach over to hand him the popcorn. His eyes widen and he nods a small thank you to you.

You look back over at Jaehyun and realize he is already looking back at you. You study his sharp features before scooting over to plant a soft kiss to his cheek. He gives you a small smirk before turning his attention to the tv screen. The expression he gave you sticking deep into your mind. It looked devious, almost as if something was being cooked up in his brain. Should you be worried?

The title screen of The Justice League movie begins to flash on the tv causing a few groans to be heard from the boys.

“Who picked this one?” Doyoung questions with his eyebrows knitted and an apparent pout on his lips.

“Yeah we just watched this,” Yuta adds crossing his arms.

“I don’t see you coming up with any better options, besides this movie is amazing. It deserves to be appreciated more than just once,” Lucas pipes up.

Doyoung scoffs before throwing a piece of popcorn at him. The two begin to laugh as Lucas picks up the small kernel and pops it into his mouth with a giant grin plastered on his lips.

“Mm, thanks Doe,” Lucas cooes, smiling to himself.

Everyone remains silent as Johnny presses play on the movie and the title screen slowly slips away.

The movie starts up and you and the rest of the boys fall silent. A few words are spoken here and there, small comments about the film, but it seems that everyone is pretty engrossed in the movie.

Everyone except for your needy boyfriend.

You two were secluded to your own loveseat that quite frankly was a little too small for comfort. A few inches smaller and you would be sitting on top of Jaehyun. You normally wouldn’t be complaining, but every single movement Jae made would break your concentration from the movie, and there seemed to be way more interruptions than there should be. Every time he moved you would look over at him to find that he was already looking at you. That same devilish smirk on his lips that was there before the movie had started. You would choose to ignore him, but it seems that he was going to keep up his act until he received the attention he so thought he deserved.

The movie continues on and you think that Jae has given up. You find yourself to be quite wrong when you feel his hand shift under the blanket before resting itself upon your thigh. You choose not to look over at him this time, which was the wrong move. Upon no reaction from you, Jae takes it upon himself to slide his warm fingers up to the hem of the skirt you regret wearing. He plays with the fabric before continuing his hand into the front of your panties. Finally realizing his intentions you shoot him a warning look.

“Come on princess, it will be quick,” he whispers into your ear. The vibrations causing the hairs on the back of your neck to raise.

“The others are here Jae, what if someone sees?” you question shakily. The proximity of his lips and the position of his hand cause you to become hyper aware of your surroundings. You try to shift yourself a little bit away from him, but you realize that there is no where for you to go.

Jae runs one of his fingers up your clothed heat causing a shudder to run through your body. He hums at your response.

“See I know you want this, no one will know unless you let them. Just keep quiet princess.”

You let your eyes scan over all of the boys around you, noticing that not a single one has picked their heads up to look at you. You let out a soft breath, realizing quickly that there was no winning this fight. As much as you hate to admit it, now that the idea has been planted into your head, there is no turning back. You do want it, and you want it now.

With a huff you nod your head softly to Jaehyun. You just know there is a huge dimpled smile now plastered on his face.

He takes his long digit and uses it to push your panties to the side. His finger starts to run up your slit and you crush your lips together to hide any unwanted noises.

You can’t believe this is actually happening.

Jaehyun’s finger does another delicious swipe before he starts to slowly insert it into you. The pleasure causing you to reach out and squeeze the top of his thigh. You can feel him soak himself into you until his knuckle reaches your opening. Any other time you would let yourself bask in this thought, but right now, the only thing on your mind is keeping quiet.

You do another sweep around the room with your eyes, finding that no one has yet turned to look at you and Jaehyun. Jaehyun feels you relax a little bit after this and uses the time to slide in a second finger. You squeeze your lower half tightly causing Jae to let out a quick breath.

“Shit baby,” his voice comes out as barely a whisper.

Your nails sink into him, definitely leaving marks on the skin of his thighs. He doesn’t seem to mind though because he reaches his face down to press a quick kiss on your neck. His fingers still pulling in and out of you wonderfully.

He starts to quicken the movement of his digits in you and your breath starts to come out of your nose sporadically. You are trying your best to not make any sound, but your energy is slowly draining.

You focus your eyes on the tv screen and try to make it seem like you are caught up in the movie. However, you just know that if any of the boys were to glance at you, the constipated look on your face would clearly indicate a red flag.

The movie turns to the fighting scene where Superman has just been resurrected from the dead and you silently thank anyone up above at this timing. You can’t help the way your breath is coming out in harsh pants now as Jaehyun quickens his pace, and the volume coming from the speakers seems to be drowning out your noises. You can feel yourself coming closer and closer to the edge, as the knot of ecstasy starts to wind itself deep in the pit of your stomach. You can just tell you are almost there when Jaehyun slows his fingers completely and lets them rest inside of you. You turn to him angrily and he just keeps his eyes on the tv with a smirk plastered on his face. Your heat starts to tighten as you sit there falling farther and farther away from your climax. You can tell what Jaehyun is doing and you can’t say you are quite happy with it. The longer this goes on the more likely you are to get caught.

You can feel every inch of Jaehyun’s smooth fingers as they rest inside you. You let out a huff, your skin feeling like it is on fire as your eyes lazily fall onto the other couch across the room. You don’t notice the pair of eyes that are looking at you until Jaehyun starts to move his fingers again. Yuta is staring at you with such intensity that you can’t help it when your eyes grow twice in size. Jaehyun’s fingers quickly return to the pace they once were at and there is no way for you to inform him of the audience you have acquired. Any loosening of your lips and a sea of moans would come flooding out afterwards. You can only just hope that Yuta hasn’t realized anything yet.

You quickly turn your gaze to the tv, trying your best to relax your face, and hide any sort of inclination on what is currently being done to you. You wait a second before looking at Yuta out of the corner of your eye. His gaze is going between you and Jaehyun as his eyes double in size. 

He knows, there is no possible way, he doesn’t know.

You can feel your orgasm coming quickly again, and you bury your face into Jaehyun’s shoulder. Just as the wave of pleasure rushes over you, you choose to open your mouth and bite down into Jaehyun’s shoulder. You feel him tense up and a short gasp falls from him mouth at the feeling of your mouth. You are quite pleased with yourself at how little noise falls from your lips as Jaehyun lets you ride out the high. Once you are finished and oversensitive, Jaehyun slides his fingers out and you are able to relax again.

Your mind doesn’t let you rest though because for a few seconds after your orgasm, you had forgotten about Yuta, but now everything comes flooding back to you. Your cheeks become a deep shade of red as you glance over at him. He has his own gaze on the tv, his lower lip drawn up in between his teeth as a deep blush creeps itself up his chest and onto his own cheeks. He doesn’t dare look over at you, but his whole appearance and the way his chest rises and falls so harshly, you know that he is aware of your gaze.

You feel Jaehyun pull his hand from under the blanket before bringing it up to his mouth. He places his two fingers past his lips and starts to suck you off himself. Your eyes grow big as an involuntary gasp comes out of you.

He can’t be serious. Is he really doing that right now.

Your gasp must have come out louder than you had thought as you hear a chuckle come from one of the other boys.

“What a man can’t lick the popcorn seasoning off his fingers Y/N?” Jaehyun questions to you innocently. The look in his eye however, is nothing of the sort.

“It’s the best part,” you hear Johnny speak up with a chuckle. You feel yourself want to be swallowed up into a deep hole now.

“It truly is,” Jaehyun lets out harshly, after finally releasing his fingers from his mouth.

You can’t help but look at Yuta who is staring at Jaehyun. The expression on his face is unreadable as his eyebrows are knitted tightly together, but his eyes seem scared. He looks over at you and quickly averts his attention once he realizes you are looking at him. You watch him look around awkwardly before clearing his throat and getting up from his seat. Without a word he quickly exits the room and you hear the bathroom door close loudly a second later.

~

A/N: All sexual content in this and any other of my scenarios, are consented to.