#the anatomy ones are easier to get from context.

[mnemo-sick]

transformers fanon anatomy terms? yeah, sure. I don't use all of them, but most of them don't bother me

transformers fanon timekeeping terms? I am filled with unending rage

[monstersflashlight]

To kill a king, to fuck a dragon (Day 8/8 of 10k followers event)

A/N: Hi there people! I’m so, so glad that all of you took time to read all the stories I post, especially these past 8 stories that had been super exploratory for me. I think I did good enough, at least y’all seemed to like it. For this last one I added a bit more plot than usual, this is a tiny bit longer and I think the story is really good. I hope y’all love it as much as I do. Also, and once again, I want to thank ALL OF YOU for following this little corner of the internet and being so supportive and great, special thanks to all my patrons to make my life a little bit easier <3, this has been a blast so far and I hop y’all keep reading, hopefully this account is just the beginning of a much longer exploration of monsterfuckery for us all. (PS: If someone catches the very subtle Grey’s anatomy reference please let me know so we can be friends)

Dragon x fem!reader || size kink, slow-burn (kinda), sex with feelings, magic saliva, spit on pussy, multiple orgasms, overstimulation || tw: mentions of murder

You enter the cave and are surprised to find a door, a normal human door caved into the rock. It looks like a house, a house on the rock, but still normal. What the fuck? Your hopes and dreams of finding the dragon slowly disappear, your eyes teary.

Someone chooses that moment to speak behind you: “Who are you?” You turn around so fast you fall to the ground with a scream. The stranger looks at you like you are a bug he needs to squeeze, and you feel a tear running down your cheek. Fuck. You promised yourself you wouldn’t cry even if there wasn’t a dragon. “Again: who are you?” His tone is harsh and you want to cry even more, but you bit your tongue.

“I- I came to find the dragon,” you confess, swallowing around the knot in your throat.

He looks at you like you are a joke, not even trying to help you to your feet. “What dragon?” He asks, his tone amused.

You get up and look at him, trying to look as serious as you can when you say: “They- They told me there was a dragon here.” You fail.

He chuckles, inspecting you up and down, his eyes zeroing on the few tears that escaped your eyes. “No dragons, just me,” he finally answers, his tone a lot softer than before.

“Uh-oh… Sorry. I’ll be on my way, then.” You try to get pass him, sniffling as you do so, trying really hard to get out before you start sobbing.

He sighs, and adds: “do you want some tea?” He offers you his hand, and weirdly enough, you don’t feel threatened or scared, you feel calm around him.

“Really?” You don’t want to sound too hopeful but you are thirsty and tired and you want to cry because there is no dragon and you basically lost hope of everything.

“Yeah, come on.” He motions you to follow him inside the rock house, and you are surprised about how cozy and homey it feels inside, like out of a fairy-tale kind of thing.

He makes some tea as you lean against the door frame of the kitchen, trying to look around as much as possible without looking too snoopy about it. Not that he seems to care that you are curious about everything, he just looks at you every once in a while like making sure you are still there.

“Why were you looking for a dragon?” He asks when he sets the tea cup on the table in front of you. A similar one in front of him. You sit and start sipping on the best tea you’ve ever had.

You sip the tea for a couple seconds, trying to decide if you can trust him, at the end you decide why not, your life is already ruined. “To kill the king,” you say. He chokes on the tea he’s drinking, and you have to bite down on your lip to stop from giggling.

“What?” He asks again when he recovers, his face red from the coughing.

“To kill the king,” you repeat. He still looks stunned so you give him more context: “I- I was bought when I was in the womb. My parents promised me to him in exchange for gold, and the day we marry is approaching. I don’t want to do it, he’s a foul man, and I didn’t choose this. I overheard some servants talking about the dragon in the mountains, and I though… I thought they would help me.” You try not to sound too bitter about it, but you can’t keep the despair out of your voice.

He looks at you like you are suddenly the most interesting specimen of a bug. “You escaped the castle and came here?”

“Yes,” you answer truthfully. There was a lot more implied in that simple question. You escaped, but not only that, they are probably looking for you and the king would probably kill those guards you ran away from. You try not to be too sad about them, they were cruel with you, laughing at you every time you passed, talking about how the king got a new hot wife.

“Are they still looking for you?” He asks, a lot smarter than you give him credit for.

“Probably.” It’s the truth but it still carries a lot of pressure as you say it. You understand though, you know it’s not his problem and you shouldn’t even be there. You’d find another way to escape the king. “I’ll be out of your hair, I promise. You didn’t sing up for any of this.” You realize the sun is setting in the horizon and you don’t know if you could find your way back to the village. Fuck. “I need to go. The village is a long journey from here,” you try not to sound scared, but an edge of fear permeates your voice.

He surprises you by saying: “Stay. I have a guest bedroom and there’s no way you could get back to the village if it’s this dark.”

You want to say no, to refuse, that’s improper, but the idea of going back to that golden prison is enough to make you say: “I’ll leave first thing in the morning.” It’s a promise you do to him, but also to yourself. That man showed you more caress that anyone in your life, and you didn’t want to cause him unnecessary trouble. You’ll leave in the morning.

Problem is… You never do.

The next day he prepares breakfast, and insists on showing you around his house. It’s so beautiful you are mesmerized. His garden especially. It’s so colorful and big and calm…. You feel an instant connection to the earth, and to him. He’s so easy to be around, he treats you so differently like what you are used to. And you like it. You like it so much that you get distracted until the sun is setting once again. And he never tells you to leave.

And days pass. One day turns into another, and you… never leave. You know someday they will come back for you. You know you can’t run away from your problems. But right there, in the side of the mountain with that nice man that took you in… It feels possible to run away. It feels possible to avoid the awful destiny that was set for you before you were even born.

He teaches you to cook, to take care of plants, to polish wood… He’s like a handyman that can do all, and you are his new apprentice, even though he insists on doing all the heavy lifting. But on top of that, he just… amazing. He takes care of you, but also you two argue about stupid stuff until you are red faced and you want to hit him, just to end up laughing when he tells you a stupid joke. You have the most fun you had in ages with him.

Until one day all shifts (pun intended).

You are laying around under the tree as he does some gardening. He wouldn’t let you near the roses in case you got hurt. “I have something to tell you,” he breaks the silence.

“What?” You ask, looking directly at him, a spark of something unknown raising inside of you, like bugs in your stomach, crawling around every time you set your eyes on him, on his beautiful smile.

He looks at you intently and says the most ominous thing: “I- I think it’s better if I show you, actually.”

“Show me what? Why do you sound so serious?” You try to joke, but it doesn’t land because he still looks at you with a poker face.

He looks worried, apprehension settling on his features. “Just… Wait until I’m done to say anything, please?” His tone is more than pleading, is more like he’s begging you to understand, and you don’t know what could possibly be so bad.

“Okay…” You tell him, anxiety spiking.

And then he turns. Literally. His body contorts and cracks, and there’s a bunch of things happening at once, and before you realize, there’s a dragon in front of you. A full on real dragon. What? He’s majestic, as big as a house and skin covered in the most precious scales. He looks like a work of art… you are mesmerized.

“You said there was no dragon!” It’s the first thing out of your mouth, an edge of hysterics creeping in your tone.

You laugh then. You laugh so hard and so much you have tears rolling down your eyes. He changes back, and tries really hard to cover his manhood with his hands, failing and making you laugh even harder.

“You are a dragon,” you say when your laughter dies down.

“I am,” he says simply, approaching you slowly until he’s right in front of you. “And I will kill the king for you,” he adds.

There’s no point in asking why he didn’t tell you sooner, you understand why. Why would he? Why would he trust his deepest secret to you? But him showing you now? It meant more than the world, it made you forget about everything and anything chasing you down. It makes you happy. He makes you happy.

“No. I don’t care about the king. I just… I love you. I think what I feel is love, I never felt like this before.” You tell him, heat creeping up your cheeks. He looks at you like he’s surprised, like he wasn’t expecting that at all. “Do you feel it, too?” You ask shyly, your hand over his chest, feeling his heart beat faster and faster.

“Ye- yes. I love you, too.” His confession is followed by his hands cupping your face, so soft and tender, you feel a tear running down your cheek as he kisses you for the first time.

You should have known better than to think your life could be so perfect.

You don’t hear them before you are captured. At least four soldiers appear at the edge of the garden and catch you before you can scream. You think about him, about your dragon, and lament how confused he will be when he returns and you aren’t there. You worry he would think you abandoned him… But you can’t do anything as they take you away from the only place you felt like home.

They don’t even wait a whole day before they are dressing you and pampering you in the best silks and makeups. Nobody says anything as you silently cry during all the process. The servants looking worried but not arguing with anyone, three guards at the door of every chamber you enter.

You are caged once again.

You walk to the aisle in between a crowded place full of people who don’t like you, nor the king for the matter. They just want to appraise his old self to gain some benefits, the same as your parents did even before you were born. He looks like a nightmare standing in front of the altar, and you want to run, to run far away, back into your dragon’s arms. But you can’t, guards all around the open garden the ceremony is taking place in. You stand before your soon to be husband and have to swallow back the tears and bile, his rancid smell hitting you like a brick.

The minister starts speaking about love and marriage, and you cry during all his speech. You dream of being far away from there, as far away as possible. Or at least as close to your dragon as you could.

When you hear the people mumbling around you, you turn around, a shadow obscuring the sun. You look at the sky and sigh, so happy to see him you could cry. Maybe you would cry if you weren’t so shocked that he actually showed up.

He roars as he lands, people running in all directions, hiding in every possible place. “YOU STOLE FROM ME!” He growls, breathing fire to the sky and making people cry out in fear. You look at him in all his glory, fascinated by every inch of his skin.

“We- we saved the queen to be,” the guard’s words are short lived as your dragon looks at him and breathes fire right over his body, instantly burning him to the ground. There’s a chorus of screams and cries again, and you have to bite your tongue to stop from smiling.

“She’s not yours! SHE’S MINE!” You shiver at his words, feeling them so deep inside you think you might combust, butterflies dancing inside your stomach once again.

“You can’t take her! I bought her,” the king’s words don’t help his case at all, your dragon roaring and launching for him.

It all happens so fast, one second he’s there, and the next one the king’s head is rolling onto the ground as everyone screams and runs away. You are shocked to the core, but he doesn’t let you wallow in that. He picks you up and takes flight. You realize he’s being very careful not to pickle you with his claws. You don’t know where he’s taking you, but soon enough you are in a place you know, a place that brings you memories of joy and love… The garden.

As soon as he sets you down, he orders you to: “Go inside.” His tone is harsh, almost a growl.

“No,” you answer, not recoiling, not moving. You approach him more, your hand softly caressing the scales of his chest.

He roars over your head, trying to scare you away: “Go inside, I’m not in my right mind right now, I can’t answer for my actions.” You aren’t scared of him, though. He saved you from your most fearsome nightmare, he’s just the big monster you are in love with.

“No,” you repeat, a big smile playing on your lips when you look up at him.

“Come on, princess… Please.” Him begging in that form does something to you, such a big and scary creature asking you to go inside so he can protect you from himself… You are more sure than anything that you are safe. Safer than you’d be with anyone else. Human or monster.

“No. I want you. I love you.” Your words finally go through him, making his big body shiver, you feel it under your hands, a big shake that leaves you breathless. “Take me, my dragon.” You know adding that isn’t necessary, but you are more than ready to be a bride, to be his bride.

“Don’t joke around,” he growls, grabbing your body with his big clawed hand and positioning you to look straight into his yes, his big dragon head so beautiful you have to reach out and touch him. He scrunches his nose, making you giggle.

“Make me fully yours,” you say again.

His responding growl is so loud it makes the earth vibrate under your feet. You shiver in anticipation. He tears your wedding dress of your body, wrapping his wings around you to create a bubble, so you won’t feel a single spark of cold in your human skin.

Your wedding dress is torn off your body as he launches for your body, your naked form shivering at the cold temperature around you, but he solves that easily. He wraps his wings around your body getting you close to his much warmer scaled body. You sigh happily.

He lets you down onto the ground and you look up at him, completely vulnerable. “Fuck me. Claim me. Love me.” You lower yourself to the ground, your upper body to the ground, your ass up. You know what you must look like: an offering, a sacrifice. And you are okay with that. You are okay being his.

“You sure?” He asks again, always the gentleman, always worried about you. You are more sure of this that you were about anything else ever.

“Yes. Yes. Yes,” you chant as his claw proves your entrance. You look around in time to see him biting on his fingers, two seconds later he’s claw-less and his now not-dangerous fingers enter you. You cry out and bury your face on the mossy ground, his chuckle making you flush all over.

He plays with your pussy for what feels like an eternity, making you come twice before he starts stretching you fully. He gets to three fingers, way bigger than anything you tried before, and you can’t stop moaning.

You come again as he spits on your pussy, the sensation so filthy and so good you scream and fall over the edge again. You feel tingly all over after that, your pussy relenting under his ministrations and somehow widening further, accommodating one more of his fingers. “My saliva has magic in it,” he explains, his tone amused as he keeps finger fucking you. You don’t know if you can come again, you didn’t even know that much pleasure was possible.

“Come on, come on, please,” doesn’t matter how much you beg, he doesn’t relent.

He starts scissoring his big fingers inside of you, stretching you impossibly wide, and you squirm under him, a pleasure so big you don’t know how to deal with it, your body pliant under his actions, your brain completely void of thoughts. And then he stops and you curse him so loud he starts to laugh, moving your body and making you squirm under him. He grabs your hips to stop you from moving and you feel the tip of his cock against your entrance.

He enters you slowly, so slowly. You want to scream, but your brain is frozen with the over-sensitivity of his dick inside of you. He can’t fit inside, there’s no way, he’s probably just aiming for a third of his length, but right now, with just the tip inside, you feel like you are about to burst. You reach down and rub your clit, unlocking something inside of you and crying out so loudly he roars as your orgasm makes your pussy constrict around him. He pushes in a bit more, and you keep coming.

From that point on, it’s all a blur of sensations and emotions, so much pleasure you are blind to the world around you. His dick is barely inside, but it seems to be enough for him, and more than enough for you. You feel like he’s going to split you in two in the most amazing way. He feels so big inside of you that you think you might die if he keeps rubbing against all your special spots at once. And if you do… You’d die happy.

“Take me. Take all of me,” that’s all the heads up you get before he’s filling you, one last thrust inside before his hot seed floods your insides. It propels you over the edge one last time, the world fading into blackness.

You pass out.

When you come back to your senses, you are laying on a bed and there’s a warm body behind you. You sigh happily as he kisses your forehead and makes sure you are comfortable and warm. You feel such intense love for him in that moment, that you have to turn around and try how well it would feel to fit his human dick inside of you (this time all of him).

He feels perfect.

[otakubimbo]

You Don't Know Me

Gojo x F!Reader

Will this be Gojo's chance to make things up to you? To finally get close to you?

Context: Cussing. Typical Gojo Behavior. College AU. No curse.

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It had been almost a full month  since you, Suguru, and Shoko all started to hang out together. They respected your want to not see or speak to Satoru so he was never invited. You came to really enjoy the company of Suguru and with everything that’s happened, you and Shoko have grown so much closer.  You have successfully avoided speaking to or even acknowledging Gojo, his efforts to talk to you going by the wayside.

Now it was Halloween, and you were trying to get dressed for the night out, you had bet Shoko that if you could get her an A on anatomy midterm, she would dress up with you for Halloween. Of course, you did, your notes and your help were flawless. She was able to record the lectures for you and you gave her the perfect notes to study. So now the two of you were going as an era of Britney Spears. You were being Slave for You Britney from the live performance and she is going as Oops I did it Again Brittany from the music video. You had got a fake snake to wrap around you that you were going to latch onto you with bracelets it was a genius idea initially, but your nails were making it hard for it to latch on, so you went to ask for help.

“Sho, is Sugu here? I need help with these bracelets. I can’t get the clasps” You ask as you exit the bathroom not paying any attention to the absence of Shoko. When you don’t hear a response, you look up to see the one person you didn’t want to Gojo Satoru.  He was dressed as the Howl from Howls Moving Castle. You almost freeze before composing yourself.

“What are you doing here? Where’s Shoko and Suguru? “ You ask taking a step back towards the bathroom, your voice a bit shaky. He hesitates not meeting your gaze.

“They went to get some weed and booze; they thought you would take longer.”

That made sense to you, they know you like to take your time, you aren't one to rush any process. It wasn’t like it took long in total for you to get ready, but you often did other things when you should be getting yourself together, so easily distracted.

“And they left you here?” You ask even though you believe what he said, eyes darting around the room anywhere but his face.

“Like I said, they thought you would take longer.” He says with a shrug. You knew he was coming with y’all to the party, they both asked beforehand if it was okay and you said yes, you weren’t going to be that girl who hung up on something so silly especially since he did avoid speaking to you this whole time as you requested.

You exhale before responding, “Well can you help me then?”

He looks at you wearily before coming over to where you extended your arm, gently holding your wrist as he fumbled with the clasp. He got the first one on and you extended your other arm for the second which he got much easier this time.

“Thanks” you say before adjusting yourself. You go to look into the full body mirror that was set in the living room, you look HOT, the green really complimented your brown skin tone and your hair was down and out which was not usual for you. Stretching your arms out making sure you had enough movement to have a good time and giving your ass a good look making sure not too much was showing. After a bit of glancing, you decided you looked perfect.  Gojo seemed to be trying to talk to you as you were checking your outfit out.

“Sorry. What you say?” you asked, giving him your full attention.

“I’m sorry, for what I said to you. It was stupid and I knew nothing about you to make that judgment.” He said still not meeting your eyes. This felt like a bullshit apology to you since he couldn’t even look at you, but you let him have it.

“It’s whatever, it’s over now. Who cares” You try to sound as nonchalant as you could, a small fake smile on your face but what you didn’t know is that Suguru and Shoko told him everything about the event. He knows how hurt you were even if you try to play it off now. He just nods at your response, as you go into the kitchen to get yourself a little something to drink. You had made Jell-O shots for the night, so you pulled them out just to make sure they were firm or not.

“Here, come try this,” You say to Gojo picking up a shot, he’s surprised by your niceness, but he shouldn’t be, all Suguru talks about is how nice you are when he spends time with you. He took the shot from your hand, his fingers gently grazing you making you almost immediately pull back. You watch as he sucks back the shot once it’s down he starts coughing a bit.

“What the fuck” He says as he grabs something to drink. Perfect, it was strong.

“Oh, they must have come out perfect then.” You say as you grab one for yourself throwing it back like it was nothing. That took Gojo by surprise, yes, he had been stalking yours, Shokos, and Suguru IGs for info about you but he didn’t know that you were such a strong drinker.  All you usually posted was cute little drinks.

“Yeah, Suguru said you were practicing being a bartender, not a murderer.”

“Oh, they’re not that strong, don’t be a wuss” You giggle as you down another one.

“Didn’t know you drunk like a sailor” He comments with a chuckle.

“yeah, because you don’t know me,” You say before shooting back another.

“You’re right I don’t, but I would like to if you let me” he says taking more of a step forward grabbing a shot from the tray you were holding, shooting it back trying to be as stoic as you but failing. You give him a small smile at his poor attempt.

“I guess, sure”

You and Satoru start chatting, he asks you about yourself. First about the right hook you gave him, and you got to tell him that you were a black belt and had been taking kick boxing classes That made sense to him because his face was fucked for a whole week. You told him about your hobbies like how you were into archery and squishmellows, and just regular things that friends getting to know each other would say. The two of you were having a nice conversation when Shoko and Suguru got back.

“Oh great, you’re ready and you didn’t kill him” Suguru says as he enters with drinks in hand.

“Wow, you look hot” Shoko comments as she enters with Suguru. You blush doing a little spin.

“You think so? It’s not too much is it?” You say fiddling with bracelets on your wrist.

“No, you look absolutely smoking. You may even start a riot” Suguru joked as his eyes quickly looked at Gojo who was trying his best not to stare at you.

“Well thank you” You giggle. “Alright, it’s shot o clock. Me and Gojo are already ahead of the game, you two gotta catch up.”

You grab two shots and hand one to Shoko and you try to hand the other to Suguru but instead, he grabs your wrist and makes you feed him the shot. Suguru locks eyes with Gojo as he does it, he knows that his crush on you has gotten worse since the incident especially with as much new information he finds out about you from him and Shoko. Gojo grits his teeth as he hears you giggling at his friend.

“You’re not a baby, Sugu. Take your own shots!” You giggle pulling your wrist free from his grasp. Shoko was watching the scene knowing exactly what Suguru was doing. Boys, so childish. You go and take another shot before grabbing Shoko.

“Come on Shoko, we need pictures and I already have the best captions.” You take her to her room where the full body mirror is for a few mirror shots, leaving the boys to their own devices. Suguru opens a beer for himself and Gojo, handing it to him.

“Thanks ‘Sugu’” Gojo says mocking the nickname you used for the man.

“Jealously doesn’t suit you, Satoru,” Suguru smirks as he takes a sip of his beer, he can hear your giggles and Shokos whines as you’re making her take too many pictures for her liking.

“I’m not jealous” Gojo groans as he can’t take his gaze off the door you just went through hearing the sound of your giggles.

“Okay, okay time for more drinks” they hear your voice say from the room as you walk out with Shoko going through your phone. “Suguru” You call not even looking up from your phone. “You got everything on the list I sent to you, yeah?”

“Of course, princess,” Suguru says casually, calling you the nickname he chose from the first night y'all hung out which is why it didn’t phase you but it definitely phased Gojo. Maybe he was a bit jealous now that he actually sees how the two of you interact.

You grin, looking up from your phone, “Great. Time for Kamikaze shots!” You go into the kitchen and make shots for everyone, your tongue sticking out as you focus on making them which Gojo found adorable, Shoko and Suguru exchanging knowing glances at each other. You smiled proudly after you were done pouring. When you looked up, you caught Gojo staring.

“What's wrong? It’s not gonna be that strong I promise.” You reassure him with a smile, figuring that’s the reason he was staring. His heart almost stopped when you smiled at him, and he immediately tries to play it off.

“Well, you did almost try to kill me with that Jell-O shot” he laughs casually.

“Don’t be a baby” You giggle, picking up a shot, “Here” you hand him a shot glass, but before he puts it to his lips you stop him. “I gotta get a video first, come on.”

You make everyone grab their shots and stand in a circle, “Please don’t mess this up, guys.” You whine trying to hold your hand steady that has your phone in it.

“Yes, princess” Suguru says with an eye roll, “So whiny” you stick your tongue out at him.

“Okay so, we go in to clink and then back out. Yeah?” You say looking around and everyone nods. “So one, two” and on three everyone clinked and pulled away perfectly, which brought a huge grin to your face. “Perfect, thanks!” Everyone throws their shots back while you work on your IG post. “Oi, Gojo what’s your IG so I can tag you, yeah?” You say not even looking up from your phone which is good because you wouldn’t be able to see the panic in his eyes.

“It’s GojoTheeGreatest,” Suguru says quickly answering you with a smirk, looking at Gojo.

“Like Megan Thee Stallion? That’s cute.” You say as you go to his profile and notice that he is already following you. “OH, you’re already following me. Cool.” You say casually not knowing that Gojo was dying on the inside. You follow him back and tag everyone on the video.

“Princess, Don’t you want to get one of your shot drink videos for your IG?” Suguru asks as you finish your IG post, looking back up at him.

“You really should be my social media manager, sugu. You always have the best ideas of what I should post.” You say handing him your phone.

“Shot trick?” Gojo questions as you put the shot down on the counter.

“yeah, its just like a no-handed shot. Shoko, you are doing it with me?” You say putting on your best puppy dog face.

“Absolutely not. The last time you made me do that, I almost drowned.” She states adamantly. You pout and huff, like the princess you are.

“Fine.” You pout before lining up to do the shot. “We good?” You look up at Suguru, and he gives you a thumbs up before you lower your head down to the shot glass, wrapping your lips around the whole glass then standing straight before tipping your head back to swallow in one gulp. The scene was utterly pornographic to Gojo and he had to adjust himself from the arising strain of his pants. You take the shot glass out of your mouth with a pop, a trail of spit connecting to the glass and Gojo thought he was about to cum in his pants from the sight. You look so innocent as if you had no clue the effect you were having on him, and you really didn’t have a single clue.

“Alright group picture and then we go, yeah?” You say as you come from around the counter getting your phone back from Geto as he slings as arm over your shoulder, Shoko comes up on the other side of Geto leaning in. Gojo just stands there awkwardly, and you peek around your phone giving him a big smile. “Gojo come on, it’s a group photo silly.”

Gojo was taken aback by you inviting him into the picture, he just assumed you wouldn’t want him in it. You were too sweet for your own good. He comes to your side, and you pull him in by his arm so you can all fit into the frame.

“thank you, now one, two, three” You snap the photo, you had a huge grin on your face, while Gojo was awkwardly squeezed to your side, Suguru had his cocky grin on and Shoko gives her usual soft smile.

“Wait this is too cute.” You grin, now changing the photo into your new wallpaper. “Alright let's go!” You exclaim, grabbing onto Shoko and exiting the place. The party wasn’t far, it was being hosted at a frat house, so it was definitely within walking distance. You were arm and arm with Shoko while the boys trailed behind you all. There were plenty of men catcalling the two of you, a lot of ‘oh I would be a slave for you any day ‘I can fix your loneliness tonight baby!’ One guy even had the confidence to actually stop you.

“You should have dressed as an angel because I know you had to come from heaven.”  The random man in front of you says and it was so corny to you, but it made you giggle, Shoko rolled her eyes unimpressed.

‘Well thank you’ you say shyly as you already feel Shoko pulling you away.

“She’s not interested” and pulls you away around him so that you could get to the party, you weren’t interested but Shoko was always so mean when it came to people hitting on you.

“You’re going to have to get used to that by the way,” Geto says to Gojo. “She gets hit on everywhere we go.”

Gojo just shrugs, “I get it. Look at her.” He jesters towards your frame head of them, you were as gorgeous from the back as you were from the front. Your hips swayed while you walked and your lower back tattoo was ever so present with how low your shorts were that was set right about your fat ass attached to thick thighs. Gorgeous. Literal walking sex appeal.

Once yall entered the frat house, of course, several eyes shifted to you. You hugged Shoko a little closer to your side.

“Let’s go find some drinks,” you say into Shoko's ear, trying to make your way through the crowded party. You quickly find your way to the kitchen, which is exactly where the drinks are, they had a guy standing there pouring, must be a probate.

“Well, hello there,” He says smiling creepily at you, you chose to ignore that. After the Gojo incident, Shoko said you need to start using your looks for evil if people were going to judge them for it, she started taking you to parties and she’s been using you to get free shit by having you bat your eyes at the nearest person who looks attracted to you. At first, you didn’t really want to go along with it until you saw how some of these people really just treated you like an object and not a person.

“Hiya,” You say leaning on the counter batting your eyes at him. Did this make you uncomfortable sometimes? Yes, but it was always nice to get more for just being pretty. “You think you could pour me and my friend a drink, yeah? And two more for some of my other friends if it wouldn’t be too much” You voice honey sweet putting it on when your voice is already a lil high pitched.

“Anything for someone who looks at good as you” He says with a cheeky grin, pouring you up four cups and even topping them off with a lil more alcohol.

“Oh, you didn’t have to do all that extra but thank you” You say with a little giggle grabbing two of the cups while Shoko grabs the other two.

“Once the drinks run out, I’ll be free to party ya know.” He tried to suggest that he would see you later.

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll see you way before then,” You say with a wink as you and Shoko Walk away. Once your back is turned you gag, give yourself a little shake. Luckily it was easy to find Gojo and Suguru, handing Gojo the cup you got for him.

“I’ve trained my girl good,” Shoko says throwing an arm over your shoulder as you take a sip of your drink, it was definitely some type of jungle juice. Gojo looked down at his drink seeing that not only was it full but it was close to spilling over.

“I just be feeling so icky about it Shoko” you whine taking another drink form your cup. Gojo raises an eyebrow at you in question. “Shes been teaching me how to flirt so that we can get free/extra stuff/“ you huff and Gojo almost spits out his drink. “See how ridiculous it is!” You exclaim.

“So whiny” Geto fake complains pushing a finger into your forehead, making you pout.

“I’m not whiny” You grumble as you take another drink from your cup.

“Yes you are princess/YN” Geto and Shoko say in unison.  You huffed and turned away to walk off, “Don’t get lost” they both call after you. Gojo enjoyed seeing his friends interact with you, it was funny.

“You made her mad,” Shoko says casually to Geto as she drinks her drink.

“I always make her mad” Geto says with a chuckle, “Someone should probably actually go after her before she actually get’s lost.” Both Geto and Shokos gaze at Gojo.

“She’s gonna be mad if it’s me” Gojo claims.

“She absolutely will not. And we do it all the time, it’s your turn. She’s the princess for a reason, go save her Mario.”

Gojo huffs before making his way in the direction you walked off to. He weaves in and out of the crowd, he has to really push his way past because girls keep trying to stop him and ask for a dance or a drink. His only responses to people are ‘nah I’m good.’ ‘Move it.’ ‘ get out my way’ . Eventually, he spots you, drink in hand, sitting on a couch looking uncomfortable as some idiot has their arm around you obviously ignoring the signs that you want them off of you. He doesn’t understand why you wouldn’t just hit them like you did him. Your eyes are looking around somewhat frantically as you lock eyes with Gojo and he can see the relief hit your face.

“I know you said you weren’t interested but you know it’s Halloween, and I have so many scary movies back at my place that I’m sure you would love to see.” The sleazy man next to you says as Gojo is walking up.

“Gojo.” You say in a voice that sounds way too small. The guy next to you, is dressed up as Ken from Barbie (stickynote: the worst man you know is gonna dress up as Ken from Barbie).

“Heh? This your boyfriend?” He asks you with a scoff.

“Yes, I am now move and stop touching my girl.” Gojo scowls down at the man, who quickly gets up from you putting his hands up in defensive.

“My bad, dude. Just when you see a girl dressed like this you don’t really figure she’s taken. You let her go out like this?”

You can see the tension in Gojos jaw as he grits his teeth, “She can wear whatever the fuck she wants. Come on” his hand extends down to you, and you take it, once up he throws his arm around you as starts walking back to your group.

“You should have just punched him.” He says into your ear.

“I know it may be hard to believe but I actually don’t like doing that.” You say embarrassed, a sniffle to your voice.

“You crying?” He asks in a joking tone (stickynote:yes in the same exact way from the anime)

“NO! It’s just so embarrassing” You huff. Gojos arm doesn’t move from your waist, instead pulling you closer.

“You really are a whiny princess, Suguru was right.”

You huff again at him and he just laughs, you are so stinking adorable. The same girl who almost knocked one of his teeth out was too embarrassed to tell a guy to fuck off, cute. You really made no sense to him at all.

“What happened this time” Shoko sighs looking at your face.

“Nothing let's go dance.” You move from under Gojos arm, grabbing Shokos hand and pulling her away. It kind of felt empty not having you there anymore.

“So what happened?” Geto smirks while taking a sip of his drink while watching you force Shoko to dance with you.

“Some dude wouldn’t leave her alone.” Gojo shrugs casually.

“And your arm was around her because?”

“To get her away from that loser, it’s not a big deal.”

Geto just hummed in response, “Well I’m going to find me someone to go home with tonight. You have fun pinning” before walking off to some girl who had been eyeing him from across the room. Gojo is now left standing there a bit awkwardly when you look up from dancing with Shoko and catch his eye. A wide smile starts to spread across your face as you move over to him.

“Come dance with us,” You say as you grab his hand and pull him to where you and Shoko were once dancing together. He pretends to put up a fight just to hear you giggle, ‘forcing’ him to dance with you and Shoko. It’s just the three of you dancing together until Shoko says she needs to go smoke. With her absence, you throw your arms around Gojos shoulders, laughing and swaying your hips as you try to dance and drink. The feel of your body grind against him, along with hearing your laugh so close to his ear he tenses, trying to hardest to control his body. You can feel the tension of his shoulders, tilting your head at him asking if he’s okay.

“Yeah I’m good” He replies as his hands ghost against your hips.

“We can chill for a second, get another drink, sit out in the back, yeah?” Your mouth was too close to his ear, he almost shoved you.

“Sure” He basically whimpers into your ear, which you don’t realize because you immediately down the rest of the drink your hand. You grab his hand and pull him through the crowd, trying to remember where you originally found the kitchen. Gojo, realizing you didn’t know where you were going, decided to take the lead in getting you two to the kitchen. You grab two more drinks for the both of you and he leads you outside. Once outside, you two sit around the bonfire as Gojo pulls out a joint from his pocket sparking up.

“Sorry they put you on babysitting duty” you say shyly with a small giggle as Gojo passes you the joint. You take a gentle hit, while he looks at you confused.

“What are you talking about?” He asks, taking the joint back from you.

“I mean I’m sure you probably wanted to enjoy the party and not get stuck with just hanging out with me.” You look down at your drink, enjoying the warmth of the fire.

“I don’t stay anywhere I don’t want to be” He nudges you to let you take a hit.

A smile appears on your face, “Well okay.”

The two of you talk casually, getting to know each other more. You learned that Gojo isn’t as arrogant as he portrayed himself to be and that he has a lot of weight on his shoulders from his parents to be successful. You really enjoyed talking to him, he was so easy to talk to. The conversation you two were having was interrupted when your phone started going off, it was Shoko.

“Hey Sho, what’s up?”

“You still with Satoru?”

You look up at him from your phone, “Yeah hes here, why?”

“Soooo I met this girl”

“Shoko, seriously! You know my roommate is having her boyfriend over tonight and you know how loud and obnoxious she is when they’re, ya know.”

“I’m sure Gojo and Suguru are fine with you staying over there tonight.”

“I can’t ask him that!” You quickly turn away from Gojo when you say that.

“Please, it’ll be no big deal. AND you owe me, for that last cock block at the café.”

“That wasn’t even my fault!”

“It doesn’t matter, you owe me.”

“Fine, hold on” You huff turning to Gojo, “So uhm Gojo.”

“Yeah.” He assumed what you were going to ask but seeing you flustered to ask him was too adorable to miss.

“You can definitely say no. Don’t think you have to say yes because you don’t but uhm do you think I could crash at you and Suguru place tonight? I was supposed to stay at Shokos but she’s trying to get laid. But like don’t feel pressured and if you already have plans like that’s cool too…. It’s just my roommate is having her boyfriend over tonight and she doesn’t really care about being quiet, but again don’t feel like you need to cause you don’t need to say yes.”

“It’s cool” he plays it off as if he wasn’t extremely nervous, especially after seeing how cute you were trying to ask. He knew Suguru was going to make his way into someone else’s bed tonight so it would just be the two of you, alone, together, alone.

You smile at him, “Thank you thank you thank you,” Lifting your phone back to your ear you tell Shoko that you’ll be staying over there, and you’ll just get your clothes tomorrow.

“We can go ahead and head back now if you want to” Gojo suggests, you nod at him standing up a little wobbly almost falling but luckily Gojo grabs you.

“yeah, maybe we should go” You giggle, straightening yourself. “Thanks for letting me stay over by the way.” You start as you two are walking back, your arm looped with his, he’s basically holding you up.

“It’s no big deal. We can watch a movie or something when we get back.” He suggests.

“Absolutely! Something horror, yeah?”  You smile at him. He looks down at you, quickly looking away and forward.

“Sure”

“Yay”. You pull him a little closer to you, “Don’t let what Shoko and Geto say about me fool you, I’m not a big baby like they say. Shoko’s the one who gets scared. I love horror movies, me and my dad used to watch them all the time when I was probably way too young to watch horror movies.  Like he had me watching Silence of the Lambs when I was 5 and I know that’s not the proper age to watch anything like that. I should have not known that cheek meat is the tastiest part of the human body, supposedly.”

He pokes your cheek, “you smile a lot so your cheeks are probably really gamy”

You roll your eyes with a huff, “I don’t smile that much”

“You’re right, you're either smiling or pouting. Really do fit the name princess.” He teases.

“I’m changing my IG name, this is bullying” you pout pulling out your phone. Gojo watches you get into your phone, seeing that you really did change your wallpaper to that picture of the four of you. It made his heart squeeze a bit, this crush on you may actually crush him.  He sees you frowning at your phone, hovering over the keyboard.

“Just keep it. You don’t want to change it anyways,”

“Yes I do! I just need to figure out what. I wish Suguru was here, he’s always good at coming up with stuff like this. Hmph. Ill just ask him later.” You pout and Gojo tenses a bit at your side from your mention of Suguru.

“Do you have a crush on Suguru?” the question left his lips before his brain could stop him. You looked up at him and burst out laughing almost taking the two of you down but it brought a sense of relief to him.

“Oh, that laugh sounded mean! I didn’t mean it like that but Suguru is definitely like an annoying older brother. He is a great guy, a wonderful guy, like if I had more friends, I would set them up with him but yeah not for me.” You say awkwardly.

“Hmmn okay.”

You try to stifle your giggle before asking, “Why do you have a crush on Suguru?”

“Oh, a comedian, are you?” He scoffs as he slips his arm out of yours and picks up his pace leaving you behind. “Hope you can find your way back to my place,” he says waving his hand back at you.

You shuffle after him, “I was just kidding. WAIT. I’ve only been there like twice I wouldn’t even know where I was going if I knew where I was going. Please!”

His pace slows down, allowing you to catch up as you slide your arm back through his holding on tightly.

“Rude” You huff, slightly out of breath, it was hard to run in those boots.

“I’m rude? You tried to say I had a crush on my best friend” He counters.

“Yes, BUT that’s like the best trope. Friends to lovers.” You smile up at him and he pokes your cheek.

“See, told ya. You smile a lot” He chuckles as you pout AGAIN.

[mistressarcane13]

The Development of Durgetash

Sorry this is really long but the implications of Durge and Gortash's relationship are just too fun not to think or write about.

I think an important thing to understand about Enver and Durge’s relationship and the way in which it would develop, is that they are both inherently lonely people. One killed any person who gave them warmth and love (whether they had any real say in the matter or not), and the other was someone who as been abandoned and betrayed repeatedly by people they trusted. Either way, Durge has only been able to experience the warmth of another through violence, and Enver has only ever been able to put trust in things of metal and gears.

They could not make a real human connection, and as sad as it is at the very least the Durge had a family who had once cared about them, however, Bhaal made it very clear that they would never have that all outside of what he could offer, and if they were to search for it outside of Bhaal or even stumble upon it, all it could ever end in is blood. Enver on the other hand had no foundation of trust with anyone from the beginning, his parents sold him. Then the entry of his youth was spent being abused, beat into submission. Where his developing mind could only ever come to one conclusion, you are only safe at the top, only safe when you are the person who can hand out all of the damage. While it doesn’t excuse anything either of them did, it does give you a way as to how they can internally justify all of their horrible actions.

But then apply all that to how the beginning of their partnership began, both probably intending to manipulate and betray each other at some point, at least in the very beginning. Then what is probably the most terrifying thing happens to both of them, they realize they care. Dare I say I think it takes them both a long time to realize this, both desperately telling themselves that “this was just a part of the plan” in an attempt to distract what has happened.

The one thing I am sure they had both promised themselves they would never do again. I do think Enver had an easier time coming to terms with this, especially after Bane also seems to take a liking to Durge. But there was most likely some catalase in which Durge had an amazing opportunity to kill or betray Enver and yet stubbornly stays by his side. However, Durge lives in constant terror. When will the urge take control, when will Bhaal demand Gortash’s head as a sacrifice? Why does every thought they have that lingers a little too long on Enver turn into a design of his death, and why has this begun to bug them. They had thought they had finally desensitized themselves to this, and yet here they were with this weight in their heart that made it hard to breathe. They haven’t experienced terror like this since the urges first started. And I think, unlike Enver, this fear never goes away. It’s obvious because of the letter but I think they learn how to manage it.

Once they get past that, this is where their friendship really blooms. Two evil nerds, geeking out all the time. Gortash can go on for hours, days, months about his inventions, and there is Durge who hasn’t had a conversation verging this close to normal in so long that they just sit there, happy. Asking questions, and seeing how smart Durge is canon-wise, most likely offer suggestions and theorizing how certain mechanics work. Then there is Durge who has had to turn violence into a craft for survival and likely some form of sanity. Who can probably go on for just as long about anatomy, decay, how every weapon, acid, fire, and anything of the like affects the flesh.

Then somewhere along the line, where they worked together out of convenience, they are now the other persons go to for anything. They are asking each other for advice in contexts where it doesn’t necessarily make sense. And there scheming turns into just conversations of the future. They don’t even notice how casual they have gotten with one another until I’m sure Orin or Sceletius points it out to Durge.

If we apply all this to Durgtash, it does make their prospective relationship the most grueling slowburn anyone as ever seen, in theory.

I don’t think either of them notice at first their feeling for one another. I think they are both pretty emotionally constipated. However, I think Gortash realizes first, I think he distrusts not only everyone around him but also his own feelings to realize something is off. Where as Durge (this I guess depends on how you characterize your own personal durge, but for now I’m talking about og and my own Durge.) I believe has numbed themselves so emotionally it is not going to hit them. Or at least not until Enver suggests something stupid and they fight. Durge has a knife to Enver’s throat (which I don’t imagine is a rare event) and for once they aren’t immediately consumed of thoughts of spilling his blood right there. No, the knife is there to stop Enver from doing something stupid, because Durge is WORRIED. The realization hits like a brick, and Durge in way out of character backs off and leaves. Hoping to stuff the realization back in the box where it could be stored in the back of their mind, but it’s too late. Now all they can think about is how Bhaal will torture them both by having them kill Enver.

This obviously leads to tension, so much tension, that neither of them will address or acknowledge. Both are worried about offending their gods, and at the end of the day, this is the first person either of them have been able to truly care about in who knows how long. Not only could they ruin that, but also the plan that they have been working away at for presumably years now.

I think it only builds of course, the closer they get the more small touches they exchange. Never too close though, never too many. Just enough for minds to slip to other places, only for a second. Though they would never actually… right? They get drunk together just to have a reason, have an excuse for certain behaviors, never taking it too far but minds always wonder.

I honestly don’t think anything would happen for a long while, not until some catalyst. Whether it be a bad injury or a victory, adrenaline takes over, and they kiss. Heat of the moment they will tell themselves and each other. However, the Pandora's box is open now. I think it still takes them a moment to break, anywhere from a day to a week, both too horribly stubborn for their own good. Until the conversation lulls to a stop, and the tension alone at this point would turn anyone mad, and the delusions they have been trying to sell themselves finally snap. No one knows who kissed the other first, who first started ripping at clothes, at this point who cares. It is a passion with teeth and claws, there is blood on their teeth and under their nails. In that moment all their sins mix, gluttony, greed, pride, and lust as they almost try to consume one another, like they are trying to meddle together. As if metal and flesh could ever truly mix.

And I think for a time after, these two horrible messed up people find peace in one another, maybe even true happiness as their plans come to fruition. Enver Gortash, a man who breathed life into metal gave it a heart, and Durge, the person who left cold bodies in their wake by taking last breaths and heartbeats.

They were going to rule the world together, and then Orin happened.

[fantasy-anatomy-analyst]

Do you have any critique for the designs of the Mudwings or Rainwings (from the Wings of Fire novels?)

okay, you know, i think i am going to just use this as a chance to talk about the most common pitfalls for dragon wing designs.

Wings of Fire designs are fine. the style is nice, the dragon designs are each unique enough from each other to stand out in their context. i can handwave some things about their anatomy because of the more cartoonized style and i will ignore the trope of making the evil dragons look distinctly more animalistic because it's clearly a series made for a younger audience.

but it still falls into the exact same dragon wing design problems i see absolutely everywhere. I've done it, you've done it, every single person who has ever tried to design a dragon in any style has done this. my points here are all based on the most common dragon wing type, which is the bat-like wing.

lack of patagium (the membrane between the shoulder and wrist) the Wings of Fire dragons are a bit awkward because some of them do have it and some of them do not and there does not seem to be a reason for this difference. the patagium is important! you really should have it on any dragon with that bat-like wing shape.

wing fingers extending past the membrane, especially with claws included. why are they doing that. when are those claws going to get used. wing fingers are built for the specific purpose of moving the wing. the only finger that should be extending out on its own with a claw is the thumb. unless you want to do pterosaur wings, in which case there are a few forward-facing fingers and one very long finger acting as the wing frame. honestly, more dragons should have pterosaur wings, they're an actual real life flying reptile and some of them were huge. please, we need more pterosaur-winged dragons.

membrane being way too deeply scooped between the fingers even when the wing is extended. this one makes me think people just don't actually know how wing membranes work. they are not a stiff material at all, but a very flexible type of skin. it should fold up between the fingers and near the body when the wing is withdrawn, but stretch out tight when the wing is extended. i know the scooped shape Looks Cooler but it's not very functional.

wing fingers being too stiff. those things move! they bend! they're very bendy! bats fly with a lot of finger curling. here are a few videos in slow motion that show the fingers and the flexible membrane really well: video 1. video 2. video 3. a lot of dragon designs i see just use the shoulder of the wing as the main point of motion. they won't even change the elbow angle. now, the elbow will never be fully straight in flight, but it should move too! I think one of the reasons people don't do this right is that it's just easier to use fewer points of motion in animation and obviously all dragons in motion are animated ones. but when you see it even on the hyper realistic style of dragons in things like Game of Thrones, it gets pretty frustrating. make those wings flex more. (and by mentioning the GoT dragons, I know they do move more than just the shoulder, but even their wing finger motion is very stiff, like the fingers only have one joint and the membrane doesn't move as much as it should)

elbow strut. you know what i mean. that weird little bone strut on the elbow on like every dragon design ever. it gets in the way of some very important membrane motion. it does not exist in any real life membranous wing that i am aware of. the closest you can argue for is that the yi qi, a dinosaur that might have had a membranous wing and also feathers, does have an odd strut-like bone and we don't know exactly how it was positioned. but from what i've seen, there is at least a consensus that it was connected to the wing hand, not the elbow. it might have been positioned parallel to the forearm and thus would create a strut-like shape extending at the elbow, but that's not how people draw the elbow strut on dragons. it always looks like there's just a weird stick attached to their joint. it serves no purpose. the reason people do this on their dragons is because they design the membrane poorly and need to add a strut to give the wing a bigger membrane. but this can be avoided if you just attach the membrane lower on the body to give it more surface area, and also let it stretch taut instead of making it scooped like it's slack even when the wing is extended. just do more studies of bat wings in motion and you'll have a better understanding of how your bat-like dragon wings should work.

[momo-crome]

( disclaimer : i made this theory with the intention of making it into a YouTube video so please excuse if that hasn't translated properly as a post on its own. also this contains spoilers for dialtown + the roger dlc, it makes more sense with the context of it anyway. that along with i use all pronouns for Gingi in this post (he/she/they/it) and uh Tw because i do bring up a few sensitive things like suicide and death but also some other things I'm forgetting )

and one last thing is that there are some pieces of information i didn't know so have been left out in this post but i may or may not make a follow up on this if i find enough to talk about

with that in mind : under the cut is my phonegingi and object head theory !! ♡

A while ago I made a poll on my tumblr asking what one of these theories you’d like for me to make a video upon and ‘figuring out what Phonegingi is ‘n’ their anatomy (or just phony anatomy)’ managed to win. It's a blessing in disguise if I'm being honest as the context of what I'm going to explain and set up in this video greatly helps with my Enc0unter and god theory. 

So without any further stalling : I think it's best to start with analysing the cryptid.

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Analysing Phonegingi :

So it doesn't take a genius to see that Phonegingi isn't like anything we've seen before. Not only does their species not really have an in-game name nor explanation, we also don't see anything else like it running around Dialtown. While there is a slim chance that maybe others like her do exist but we’ve never seen them and / or live in other places of the world, I really do doubt it from other characters' reaction to it alone. Not to even mention that Gingi doesn't have any confirmed origins along with the eggs that it lays and doesn't look anything like him. Obviously the whole ‘egg’ thing is a theory within itself but that's for another day.

Now if we’re going to get to figuring out what this thing is, we should analyse its features. We can see some human-like attributes but the list is rather limited when you take a closer look at him. So to make things a tad bit easier I've analysed some of the physical attributes from its sprites and art shown in game, along with a few not so physical things that are worth pointing out.

As shown I've decided to point out its green skin, six nipples, somewhat human body and tail. Some non visible attributes being how she can lay eggs, consume gravel and roadkill just fine, glans that burst when stressed(i forgot to add these two when making this) and teeth. two more noteworthy things being the fact he can speak proper English on top of hallucinations, but these are somewhat irrelevant as of now.

And for the sake of argument, I won't be taking the typewriter and phone heads into consideration as it's been proven by Gingi on multiple occasions that it had made it themselves and along with how it can change just complicates things. That's the same reason why I also won't be taking the scars into consideration as he was most likely not born with them (also it does change on occasion. No shade dogman) But don't worry as we shall return to it once it’s fully figured out what this thing is made up of.

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Analysing Phonegingi : The green skin

Now I feel as if we should start off with one of the most important things with Phonegingi, and one of the most prominent ones at that. That being the bright green hue of its skin, perhaps we could even describe it as being fluorescent. Obviously the claim on its own sounds quite outlandish until we take a look at what could have possibly caused this. 

Now there are many things that cause green skin in nature such as hyperbilirubinemia and layered chromatophores within the skin but one main detail i feel like is worth mentioning is that while Phonegingi does have certain reptilian like moments, simplifying judging by looks alone it is worthy to note that it appears to be a mammal of some sorts. Or a creature who's mostly covered in skin. This may seem somewhat irrelevant unless you remember that there aren't any naturally occurring mammals within nature with green skin. So maybe it isn't natural. And maybe this could be from lead.

While from the surface this seems rather outlandish, it is notable to say that there have been many instances where people had gotten their skin punctured by such things made from lead, leading to a long lasting green mark upon their skin. And the reason I bring this all up is in one of the endings for the Roger DLC we hear from Mingus herself that she's been putting lead into Dialtown’s lake. Presumably being the one within the forest. The same first that Phonegingi is from. Now I am no scientist but perhaps the led from the lake somehow found itself into its system though one of the main scars upon her body caused the green pigmentation. That or perhaps even radiation.

Side note here, my original theory was that this was entirely radiation until I looked into it a tad more. But we still have much to discuss with radiation as a topic.

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Analysing Phonegingi : six nipples / eggs

I was honestly pretty stumped when it came to this point, obviously this is one of the main features of Gingi and on paper wouldn’t seem all too bad but when we consider the whole egg laying thing this really throws a wrench into everything until we consider the possibility that perhaps that Phonegingi is more than one animal biologically.

Now obviously I'm not going to sit here and act like I'm all too sure about what exactly these animals are just yet but I do have a contender. That being the platypus. Or that's what i would say because google lied to me about them having nipples. Apparently they only have mammary gland ducts to feed their young but perhaps Gingi’s genes somehow got broken so this being had to insert itself into his system, it’s an interesting look upon this but perhaps it's caused by something else. That I shall explain in a different post if enough people care for me to look into it. Either way : at least we now have a current solution for the eggs too

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Analysing Phonegingi : tail / eating gravel and roadkill / teeth

So now that we've managed to identify one of the beings that makes up Phonegingi, that being the platypus, we still have a few things that are left still in the air. But it's very simply solved when we consider that the other animal that Gingi is made up of is perhaps an alligator.

One of the main attributes of this is probably its teeth, such teeth that Gingi has been canonically confirmed to have from under his face. Such as within text and achievement art. Also another ability of the alligator is the fact that it has been proved to be able to process such things like rock and fresh dead animals, two things that Gingi has also been confirmed to eat without much struggle.

And one final thing to add on, we can also note Gingi’s tail from being from an alligator if it wasn't for how it goes from hairless to having hair on the tip along with it sometimes not being shown at all. That mainly being in model edits of the character so perhaps it's not worth noting.

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Analysing Phonegingi : glans that burst when stressed

This one is quite the new development to say the least, I'm going to be honest when I say that I almost completely missed this as it's only a thing within one of the endings of the Roger DLC. Due to this I am quite honestly clueless, but I was able to find one thing that links back to the platypus point of this theory. Obviously this is quite different but male platypuses do produce venom connected to hollow spurs on the pack of their legs, but other than that I am honestly stumped so I hope that somebody can help me w this.

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Analysing Phonegingi : putting together everything to come to a conclusion

Now with this information we can come to the conclusion that somehow a platypus, alligator and a human came together and created Phonegingi. For how they combined : If we look at the real world for just a moment there have been actual real life mutations that have led to rats growing features of humans. Although all of these examples are strictly manmade and have never occurred in nature, leading me to think Phonegingi didn't just happen. Although radiation could also be an option.  While I plan on speaking about the human in particular that Gingi took over, I feel it would only be logical to now take a look at object heads to get a better understanding on how exactly Gingi is able to function. 

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Figuring out object heads:

So now we start with the big one. Some may know that dogman has been very useful with helping us figure this out. Okay I am being sarcastic for the most part but this doesn't change the fact that he actually has given us quite a few hints on how this works. 

One main thing we can reference is that within Randy’s route we know that object heads aren't fully wires, but rather are a mixture of organic and mechanical parts. And to quote the hound himself : ‘they have layers’. This could simply be a metaphor or an actual explanation but with this man we don't know. I personally think of this as maybe there is a shell that is around the remaining parts of the head that the object head is placed on top of, making object head transfers much easier.

 Also he had said within the past that phony’s have an ‘adaptor’ of sorts, so that does help a lot despite humans not being born with them as seen here  One more thing I would also like to add before we go in depth about the methods of being dialed ; it is very likely that the technological parts of these objects gain their power from the body, just to clear that up. Either way : I think we should go over all of the different kinds of objects' heads. That being ones given to normies, born object heads and animals n such who are simply born with them.

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Figuring out object heads: normies to objects

This part of my theory was by far the easiest but still wasn't quite that simple, obviously there aren't any real life examples of this happening so we are kinda making this one up along the way. 

One of the main things to keep in mind is that when the dialup happened it happened practically overnight. That means that this progress had to be somewhat quick and considering how little flaws that come with having an object head that aren't exclusive to having an object head, there has to be a clear method to do this. So i propose a possible example for how to do this type of surgery:

The skin would be removed from the face, then the musicales before the bones. Making sure to keep the nerves, veins and brain within place. Then a small incision is made within the neck around these parts to not damage them, this being the base for where the adaptor would be placed on the head. But with this a small hole would be left in the neck to be used as a man-made mouth. (this was wrote b4 knowing its in the base of the head so forgive me) Within this process the olfactory nerve is also connected to this hole or slightly above it from out of the adaptor to retain smell. Moving onto the main head now, the back and front of the object is connected and wires from the phone are connected to certain parts of the brain so it has control with whatever object it may be without having to touch it. For the eyes, the photoreceptors are salvaged and turned into optical receptors with small holes in the head to remain eyesight. And finally, the inner ear is changed for a speaker with a microphone on the outside that picks up on a digital signal that transfers to the speaker inside then back to the brain as sound. With that done the case is closed up with whatever object it is being placed on top.

Now obviously this is just a very early draft of this part of the theory. I am aware there are a few characters that contradict this theory such as Abel, Stabby and Shooty or Craig so i may change this part of my theory at another point in time.

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Figuring out object heads: born object heads

This is also pretty easy to figure out as dogman has actually answered this question before, as claimed here the hound has stated that after the dialup fetuses are born with thinner heads to make the process of dialing easier. although this still raises a few questions.

One of the first ones is if after birth they’re given the similar type procedure as normies, as that is the only solution I can think of. obviously there is the question of how this works outside of hospitals but if i tried to figure that out this post would be too long so it’s probably going to be a very boring post in itself.

The second question is asking how the head is altered in that way. my proposal for how and why is possibly genetic mutations caused by chemicals that would have been taken by pregnant mothers back during the dialup. These could possibly serve as a generational mutation to prevent normie children from happening. not an ideal answer but I'm sure i can put a tad bit more research into this later.

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Figuring out object heads: animal object heads

While I do believe this is somewhat irrelevant for this part, I do think it’s worth mentioning and possibly solving. Unlike humans who aren’t born with them, animals and such are. and if you know almost anything about biology you’d know that animals don’t really have the means to have non organic heads without human intermittent so i think I've finally came to a solution to my final point 

I believe there is a possibility that animals, bugs and whatnot have object heads created out of bone that simply mimic what they’re supposed to be. Due to the existence of horns and such we do know that this kind of thing can exist. but other than this there aren’t many alternatives 

the only reason i bring this up is for my theory it is known that Gingi is an animal so perhaps it could fit into the category of this but due to the whole ‘i made it myself’ line from them it’s very quick to dismiss 

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Figuring out how Gingi is made:

So now that we know or well have a somewhat understanding of how object heads function, that begs the question of how did Phonegingi have this information? How did such a primitive creature gain the knowledge of creating such a complicated head that mirrors the one of the former president that he had never seen before? This is where I propose the idea that maybe the human part of Phonegingi actually belonged to somebody before. That somebody being Milton r Wallace

Okay, I feel like I should explain myself a tad. I know it's quite an outlandish idea but it does explain quite a lot. After all ; it is quite a coincidence there is so much mystery around this character and no instance of him being mentioned in the game. I mean if there was a scene where he was mentioned and Gingi just said ‘oh yeah that’s me’ it would be pretty underwhelming. Jokes aside, Milton’s body being the human part of Gingi does explain one too many things such as the seemingly male anatomy, probably the scar on his chest, hallucinations along with connections to Callum, how he would know how to make their object head and even why he’s in the woods in the first place.

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Figuring out how Gingi is made: scars on the body

I'll start by adding on to my scars as I feel like the male anatomy speaks for itself. Not to mention I promised to return to this so I am now. So let's take a look at the scars that we can see. 

Visibly on the chest and right shoulder we can see two wounds. The one upon the shoulder is a supposed bruise from a gorilla bite (although i got this off the wiki and don’t remember this line from the game so feel free to correct me) and the one upon the chest looking like a gaping wound that was stitched up in a familiar fashion to their head. Since we know that Phonegingi made their head itself it is a possibility that he stitched up this wound upon her chest in a similar way but we cant be sure as it’s never acknowledged.

Second point I would like to add is that on multiple occasions Gingi has been called ‘blue blooded’ but these wounds have a more yellowish brown hue to them rather than the blue that you’d assume. Why is this important? Well if you've ever had the displeasure of seeing dried blood you’d know it eventually changes to a brown colour overtime. Now it doesn't take a genius to know that since the man died around 60 years ago his blood would have been heavily deoxygenated. Perhaps being the reason why when reanimated as Phonegingi his blood was blue form the same lack of oxygen. 

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Figuring out how Gingi is made: hallucinations and Callum connection

This part is a lot more simple to explain, while i am aware of these things only really occurring due to the cough stirrup consumed by it, i find it oddly strange that these things occur in the way that they do especially since presumably before meeting Mingus in bigfoot’s route, Gingi was never even aware of Callum's existence. Plus I don't feel like the hound would add these hallucinations just to write them off as nothing. Maybe somewhere in Gingi’s scrambled brain he had these memories from his previous life leak though. 

Additionally, while Milton being Gingi helps the Callum connection ; it also explains why he would be able to identify Mingus as a cat. For us it would be pretty simple but we need to keep in mind that in Dialtown all organic beings have object heads so Phonegingi would have only ever really seen cats with these heads. While this could be written off as her seeing one within a textbook or something I find that incredibly hard to believe considering they’re confirmed to be illiterate. It could also just be a joke not meant to be looked into like this but it definitely could explain.

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Figuring out how Gingi is made: making the object head

This part of the theory is actually what led me to believing that Milton could be Gingi as he would be one of the only characters who had a physical resemblance to it as far as we know along with having access to that knowledge. Considering we see Gingi make their phone head similar to Callum, maybe he was shown the pattern by Cal when explaining the dialup close to the end of their friendship. Same thing could be said for the typewriter variant of them, probably mirroring Marla’s head since the typewriter head was based upon her along with there being hints of them two having a platonic relationship but since she is sadly as mysterious as him so we may never know.

Either way, since Phonegingi presumably came from the woods it wouldn't make sense for them to make an object head within there. Especially since Theoroar had it in captivity in their early years so it wouldn't make sense for Gingi to create an object head with other animals while caged. If i may even say, i personally struggle to wrap my head around why Gingi would decide to conform with their head considering she certainly does not conform by wearing clothes.

Oh alright.

Either way, I have two options why this would even be the case. The first option is that he was found by Mingus who forced this change upon them so they made the object head. But this doesn't make sense within the context of chapter 3 where Mingus hints at discovering Gingi for the first time. After all; Mingus would probably have just gotten rid of it earlier if that. So for the second option, which is much darker mind you, but perhaps their face could have been heavily mutilated by Milton’s early death along with the decades of rotting that he had to improvise by fixing it with a head made in the way that he had remembered from Callum. This also explains why it's a tad bit different from the norm too since Gingi’s brain would have been a tad bit screwed with this too. Either way, I'll let you decide what option works best with you.

Also a side note; i did actually consider Marla as a possible candidate for Gingi but there was one too many plot holes such as her dying of old age so her body would look a lot different, a lack of any comment by Mingus talking about Marla and her most likely getting a proper burial from somewhere that isn't the woods. 

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Figuring out how Gingi is made: why he would be in the woods

Speaking of being in the woods, I have a small idea for why Milton’s body would wind up being there. As far as we know basically every single person who knew him wouldn't have been around, plus as of making this post he has no confirmed family so it's hard to say. Perhaps his body was simply thrown into the woods? I suppose it would be irregular to do that but considering who Milton was it would make sense that this act would be covered up and simply not addressed at all. Perhaps even respecting him enough to dig him a proper grave would attract unwanted attention along with the fact that there are just not enough people who would care for him enough. 

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Putting this all together : 

With that all being said. Let me summarize all the information that I've proposed so far. We have theorized that Phonegingi has the DNA of a platypus and alligator that has been combined with the body of the former vice president, having some form of lead poisoning from the lake and radiation that has combined these creatures together. There are two questions left now, the first one being just how did these creatures find their way into the woods to combine with the body, and the second and by far the most important one being just how did this creature come to fruition.

The first one is easy, some may know that platypuses and alligators aren't native to Wisconsin but we need to remember that these creatures could be found within a zoo. And would you look at that, in Dialtown we do have a zookeeper, the same zookeeper that found Phonegingi mind you. It is possible that Theoroar decided to dump these two within the woods for whatever reason and they somehow wound up next to the corpse and got mixed up. I understand this isn't a perfect explanation, but it is somewhat logical for now.

Now onto my second point, it isn't as clear but I feel like I've found a solution for how this creature came to life. It doesn't take a genius to know that Milton is dead, meaning even if these animals mutated them it still would leave her dead so it's hard to figure out but I still feel like I have a solution. If you remember I did state that Phonegingi came together as one could possibly be man made so perhaps this same person brought their freakish creation to life. And perhaps that person is none other than enc0unter but this post is getting too long.

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I apologize for leaving this theory on a cliff hanger but this post is getting long and i have a lot more to say about Gingi and enc0unter. As stated in the same poll from the beginning I will be making a whole different theory / analysis about that stuff. With that being said, please let me know your opinions on this theory and if you'd like me to make the enc0unter one or a part 2 when i have the time. so yeah thanks for going though the effort to read this whole thing!! it means a lot

[screen-universe-official-thingie]

Fictionals' True Form anatomy sheet

Tw: Body horror galore

This has already been done a while back, but I somehow didn't get around to posting it.

I've been considering fixing some things, but eh, I'm now lazy, so here's some artist notes instead as well as some close ups

↓↓Close ups and notes under the cut↓↓

Notes: Yes, I didn't know that the female symbol only has one horizontal line and you'll be seeing this reoccurring mistake all over the sheet. Here, you'll see a familiar art work (assuming you've seen it, if not, here it is) of my adoptive mind children SpongeBob and Lusamine peeling themselves. Everyone looks practically the same regardless of their vessels' assigned sex. What only sets them apart is their "hair" styles or other aspects reflecting their vessels.

Yep, these actor mofos are eldritch entities made entirely out of glowing white nerves and a kind of cancer or at least is based off of a kind of tumor called the teratoma. The typical rl teratoma aren't usually cancerous, but they can be at times. Let's say that these mfs are the cancerous types, I like to jokingly call them magical cancer nerve people who wear meat suits of the characters for our entertainment.

Yes, their true forms are a fuel for their magic/powers and allow them to live for a very long time as long as their game and animated series keep pumping out content and not meet the specific conditions for permanent death

When all or most of their true form is outside their vessel, the only organs that stay intact are the epidermal system and eyeballs. The eyes roll back and hide away the iris and pupils upon the peeling. Other internal organs get disintegrated

Here, we'll use Skinwalkermine's and SkinwalkerBob's skin removal art as reference.

(Yes, I did SpongeBob's stand alone True Form drawing too, he's the first Fictional to have his TF drawn and imagined when the concept was first introduced. It's just that I didn't post it because it's the second or third digital drawing I've drawn and I wasn't very good at it back then)

Do note that removing the meat suit and being outside of it is painful as shit. It's best to stay inside and play the part.

(Ngl, this looks very... Uhhhh... Unfortunate and horrible out of context, please help)

Her eye rolls back and shows some nerve, just as seen in the sheet

TW: Eyes everywhere (They represent the audience)

As you can see here, both of their exterior flesh suits stay intact and just go limp from the lack of support.

This is where the teratoma inspo comes in. When inside their vessels, they create other internal organs to make their vessels fully functional. Then they go organ mode and latch on to the brain stem and somewhere where the limbic system is located. This allows them to show their emotions in extraordinary ways.

Fictionals are very expressive creatures, they use their magic to enhance their expressions as a reflex. This makes it easier to convey their emotions and feelings on the screen. It also gives them a difficult time to lie to both their creators and their fellow actors.

(I want to make sense of why and how animated characters make wacky and exaggerated expressions or how game characters have emote signs above their heads. This is the world building explanation for it)

Nipple privileges removed. Point and laugh.

Note: This is the error I was talking about. The thinner, leaner waist is supposed to represent the male vessel, but my dumbass put "F" for female instead. There's also a typo, whoops.

But yes, both sexes get Barbie dolled. Mainly because of censorship laws and genitals aren't needed to begin with. Fictionals live long lives and the creators would just make more of their kind anyway. It also prevents them from reproducing unneeded extra babies and interfering series production should things like pregnancy, relationship complications, and child birth occur.

This resulted to a majorly aroace normative society and Fictionals see things like sex and marriage as foreign, non existent concepts. An act of fiction and another scene demanded by the director if you will. Though, marriage and romance are possible between Fictionals, but they're very rare and are seen as unnecessary and strange.

Both sexes sharing certain places such as the locker rooms and bathrooms have been normalised. There's nothing else to see between their legs.

The only bottom hole Fictionals have is the cloaca. Yes, they have chicken assholes and that's the only out for bodily waste like feces and urine.

"But Sea, how would they make NSFW content?"

Good question...

They have undergarments taking the resemblance of the nipples and genitals should they act out things like hentai. Think of them as stage props, it's like that. They look and act just like the real deal, but they're not functional. They're there for the looks only.

Fictionals' true forms' heads or faces don't have noses, ears, and mouths. All they have are their own eyes and so called "hair". Their hair is not actually made of hair, they're just nerves, tumors, and muscles clumped up together to look like hair.

I'm considering replacing their feet with roots, I think it makes a lot more sense. Their feet aren't functional to begin with. They move around on their long hands should they tear off their vessels. It also adds a certain cryptic vibe when they're on their hands instead of being bipedal. While they can kneel on their legs, they'd struggle having their hands off the ground for a long time.

Bonus stuff in here

[apprenticestanheight]

More - Adam Stanheight x gn! reader

Alllllllll right!! It is my birthday and that means that I am officially one year older yay!! I'm not really big on celebrating my own birthday and instead of doing some big like, event type thing I wanted to just write a couple thousand words a week or two in advance so that I didn't have to worry about editing on the day of, and that's what this is!

This is a college-adjacent AU (Adam is canonically a hs dropout but I've been thinking about maybe working my way to a creative writing PhD lately and projected so thats where the college part comes in) bc I headcanon that Adam grew his hair out in his early twenties and also: recovery era leigh whannell my dearly beloved.

Fic type- this is fluff that leads into smut!!

Warnings - this fic is meant for audiences of 18+. Minors, do not interact. Other than that, religion is referenced once (in the context of the reader saying adams name like it's a prayer lol), the word cunt is used a few times, and the reader is gn for all intents and purposes but I wrote the fic with AFAB anatomy in mind as that is the anatomy I know best. Petplay is also kind of present here (the puppy nickname has wormed its way into several of my fics bc I try thinking of gn petnames and my mind goes completely blank oops)

As it turned out, it was easier than one expected to get someone who wasn't an attendee into your college library. You'd snuck Adam into it without a care in the world, yearning for someone to lean against when you hit a breaking point in your studying while your closest friends were two-thirds of the way into breaking points of their own.

Adam was happy to leave the crappy apartment he lived in, though. He worked forty-hour weeks but his boss had mentioned that there was unclaimed PTO so Adam took the four days he was offered from the 186 days that had been accrued and relished in the fact that he was being paid not to work for approximately a day and a half before he yearned for fresh air.

When you'd asked him to come with you to finish up the last of the work you needed to do to finish up your thesis on your 22nd birthday, Adam had jumped at the opportunity and agreed to meet you near the charity shop that was a fifteen minute walk from his apartment and a fifteen minute drive out from your campus.

Of course, in his delight he'd ended up showing twenty minutes before the time you'd agreed, so he ducked into the aforementioned charity shop and looked around to occupy the time he had before you'd meet up with him.

He found a camera for fifteen bucks, three rolls of film and a camera bag included in that deal and couldn't resist. Scott gave him $200 a few times a month for printing up a hundred copies of his bands posters to hand out, and his paycheck had run in time for the rent and groceries to eat it completely, so the two hundred was something like lifesaver.

He'd gotten $400 that January because Scott and his band were doing a lot of gigs, which came as a bit of a surprise--Adam had heard Scotts band play before. Scott was lucky most people didn't pay much attention to bar music.

That $400 was originally going to take purpose at least partially as gas money because there were some distances that it just wasn't worth walking, maybe the purchase of a pack of cigarettes from the corner store that always had deals on them--$3 for two packs was the typical deal going on, and something Adam had used to his advantage more than once in the year since he'd become legally eligible to smoke and drink--and not much else, but the camera seemed like a decent enough purchase. If he got good enough, maybe he could display the photos he took somewhere or sell them as prints to make up for the money he lost to rent and a few groceries during his first paycheck of the month, keep him from going hungry until the second paycheck of the month came in.

He dips out of the charity shop and grins when he spots you, lets you drive him and steals the rest of your energy drink when you talk about the fact that you're not sure why you thought you'd like the peach flavor, and that gets you where you are--sitting in the darkest corner of your college library, face pressed against Adams shoulder as he laughs meekly.

"You can do this," he says. "You have another, what? Three pages left and then it's done. Then you can go back to whatever else your creative writing PhD entails and worry about your dissertation next year, yeah?"

"That doesn't work," advises a close friend of yours, Aurelie. She's been studying for a masters in biology and has known you since 1993, when you were both eighteen and freshly new to the college campus. "I've tried it numerous times, Stanheight, and it doesn't."

"I should've gotten my bachelors and masters before I jumped into this," you mutter, words muffled by the sleeve of Adams baggy black sweater. "But of course the only PhD option within two hours of work was an accelerated course. Ugh."

Adam laughs pitifully, pulls your face away from his shoulder to kiss your forehead before he gets up and you give him your card to get you, himself, Aurelie and her girlfriend Samantha a coffee.

When he returns, Samantha is pulling a strand of bright green hair behind her ear and watching you struggle, eyes narrowing at the book you're trying to focus on reading to get something you need for your thesis. Aurelie is offering you a bite of the sandwich she'd brought, telling you that a bag of chips also has the potential to be yours if you can get the last of your necessary research done in time to meet your February 18th deadline.

Adam presses a kiss to the top of your head as he maneuvers back into sitting down, gesturing at the coffees to tell Aurelie and Sam which ones are theirs and which ones are yours and Adams.

Adam wraps an arm around your shoulders as you thank him, taking a sip of your coffee, the order for which Adam had memorized at some point in the four years of your relationship to that point. He kisses your temple in response, grabbing his own coffee from the tray and checking the time.

It's not until six grueling hours, sunrise and four mental breakdowns have surpassed that you're officially done with your thesis. Adam asks if you want to spend the night at his place--you're not going into classes tomorrow if the way that you talked about sleeping in is of any indication--and Aurelie gives you a high five and mentions one of the bags of Doritos she'd brought along to munch on as she studied but hadn't ended up touching.

"You officially owe them a thousand kisses, you know," Aurelie says as you tuck your notebooks into the satchel you've been using since Adam had gifted it to you when you'd walked across the stage and graduated high school three and a half years prior. "You've gotta do it. It's what they deserve."

Adam laughs, blue-green eyes meeting Aurelies hazel brown ones. "I know," he says. "Though, to be fair, I don't think they really expected three pages to turn into fifteen more tacked on."

"They did not," you state affirmatively. "Professor Mason better fuckin' love me for it, though. I hadn't expected to meet his maximum page count and I managed to, just barely. Give me the chips."

Adam and Sam both laugh at the come-hither motion you make with your finger as Aurelie gets a bag of Doritos from her bag and tosses them at you, laughing a bit herself.

"Gremlin person," she says, shuddering a little for dramatic effect. "I surrender an offering to thee."

"The gremlin thanks you for it means the gremlin can put ordering dinner off for like, an hour and a half," you laugh a little, breaking open the bag of Doritos as Adam steals your two-litre water bottle from the table and takes a sip, leaving it open if you should decide to take a sip within the following thirty seconds.

You do, taking a break in your Dorito munching to take a sip of the water while Adam steals a chip from the bag and all of your preparations to leave are temporarily put on hold.

"I'm serious about the thousand kisses thing," Aurelie says. "Four breakdowns, fifteen pages and six different books in six hours. You have to do something to celebrate that."

Adam laughs, runs a hand through hair that he has yet to cut because he can't usually afford it and when he can, there are always better ways for money to be spent.

"I know you are," he says. "For the record, I am, too. I have a plethora of plans to make Y/Ns productivity feel worth it tonight, trust me."

"Gonna let me in on one of them?"

"I set aside $200 over my last few paychecks," Adam says. "Your birthday presents await, one of which is dinner."

"Two hundred from your paychecks--even multiple--means you have less grocery money, idiot," you scold lightly, glaring at him. Adam laughs, shakes his head, uses humor to fend off the anger issues that have a tendency to come up and bite him in the ass.

"Scott gave me $400 this month to print band posters," Adam says. "Also designed them, helped hand at least two and a half dozen out to people, but--you don't need to worry, okay? I have stuff covered and I had four hundred I could spend. I didn't spend it on groceries because I didn't need to, so it's okay."

Adam knows you only get defensive because of how his pay is and how his rent and groceries are in direct correlation. He works forty hours a week, brings in six hundred and fifty dollars every two. Rent eats four hundred during that first monthly paycheck and the other two hundred and fifty gets eaten by groceries.

The second pay period of that month is swallowed by other expenses. He sets aside gas money for the rarer times wherein he has to use his car, some money for cigarettes and other pop-up expenses as well as groceries for those two weeks.

His landlord had raised the rent in January of 1997, though. All he had left of his first monthly paycheck was a measly 100 dollars, which he couldn't buy very much with as it were. Scott had given him four hundred dollars for his efforts in graphic design and his access to a printer though, so he was cool as an ice cube in the few days before the second monthly paycheck he got was deposited into his bank account and he could afford to get a couple more things to last him through until next month.

"You promise it has no harm even though your landlord raised your rent to a stupid amount?"

"Rent being raised to a stupid amount means renovations," Adam throws you a cheeky smile. "The heater works, my showerhead isn't busted like it used to be, and the fridge, microwave and oven aren't running on fumes. It has it's perks."

"If I have to force you, you will be dragged by your gorgeous hair to the college apartments one of these days," you say. "They let non-attendees rent out the units year round for three hundred a month. You could actually afford to live if you went that route."

"You'd also be able to afford a haircut," Samantha chirps. You glare at her and Adam has to laugh, pressing his forehead against your shoulder and kissing it as he does.

You part ways thirty minutes later, waving goodbye to Sam and Aurelie as Adam asks who's place you want to go to.

You end up choosing to go to yours--you live in one of the apartment buildings owned and managed by your college. Its one of the many perks attached to the full ride scholarship you earned. It wasn't an easy feat, but you earned it from doing a collaborative photo and written essay that your english teacher called 'completely and totally heartwrenching' on the emotional support stray cats have proven to offer the homeless and those otherwise down on their luck.

Your apartment is nicer than Adams by half a mile, at least. Twelve hundred square feet, two bedrooms for the off chance someone has to move in. White walls, dark brown hardwood flooring, marble countertops in the bathrooms and kitchens, up-to-date appliances wherever such appliances are necessary. It's a good place, ten minutes out from your college campus by car, and you have every intent to keep living there and paying the rent attached once you're done with your PhD.

You and Adam debate dinner but decide to eat it later, go to your room while you talk idly. Adam tells you about his job, you tell him more about the professors who you like, and life carries on.

Adam relaxes in your room while you shower, happy to test the camera he'd bought in the charity shop by taking a photo of a polaroid you'd snapped the previous weekend. Adam has a love-hate relationship with the polaroid because of how goofy it is--it's a photo of him with two cigarettes in his mouth, one behind each of his ears, and one in his hand. They were horrendous cigarettes so the photo wasn't a waste, and he knew you loved it so he let it be.

You come out after fifteen minutes, hair damp as you wear one of Adams shirts and not much else. He grins as you settle into bed, head tilting at you before the question befalls his lips.

"How would you feel if I were to do what Aurelie practically demanded of me?" He asks, unawares as to whether or not you'd heard her remarks. "If I kissed you a thousand times?"

You ghost your teeth over your bottom lip, laughing softly. "You really think you'd be able to keep track?" Adams hand finds your thigh as he nods, palm running across it until he reaches your hip.

"I do," he says. "And besides--I think we kiss at least two hundred times when I wear the gray sweatpants in autumn anyway."

Your tongue juts out to wet your lip. "Okay," you say, realizing very quickly that 1000 kisses is basically the gateway to bliss. "I'm in."

"Really?" Adam asks, grinning like a fool. "Even if I take it slow and you start despising me for it?"

You nod, laughing a little as Adams lips find yours.

The first kiss is deep and intense, one of Adams hands on your hips as the other moves to up your face.

Adams tongue moves expertly around your mouth, thumb rubbing against the skin of your hip gently as he angles your head so that he can kiss you deeper. You moan into his mouth and he laughs a little, only pulling away when neither of you can breathe.

"999 to go," Adam whispers against your lips, smiling when the sound of your laughter meets his ears.

He kisses along your jawline.

998, 997, 996, 995

And then down your neck, tongue joining his lips as his hands move from your hips to your stomach, slowly and steadily inching up your chest.

You're happy to let Adam do as he pleases--it's a good enough gift for hitting twenty-two and because of studying and school getting in the way, you'd not really had much of an opportunity to give him anything significant for his 22nd birthday in the weeks before anyway.

One of your hands finds his hair as his lips remain focused on your neck and you undo the low ponytail he's got it in, moaning out his name as he keeps on going with his kisses.

994, 993, 992, 991, 990, 989, 988, 987

His hands keep their steady incline upwards, stopping to tease your nipples as he presses kiss after absolutely intoxicating kiss back up your neck and your jawline, grinning against your jawline when a soft moan falls from your lips and he tucks his knee between your thighs, pressing it against your core.

986, 985, 984, 983, 982, 981, 980

He captures your lips in his own, one hand moving up to cradle the back of your head and allow the kiss to deepen. The other one stays carefully focused on your nipple, and you laugh into his mouth as you realize he's fighting the urge to smile.

He pulls away to kiss down the other side of your neck and you manage to regain some of your breath thanks to your best efforts.

"Any regrets yet?"

"None at all," Adam laughs against your neck. "Oh, you're gonna be such a mess when I'm done with you. This is amazing."

979, 978, 976, 975, 974, 973, 972, 971, 970

You pull the shirt you'd stolen from Adam off your torso, fighting every single urge you have to grind against his leg as his kisses now start traversing down your chest.

He's the kind of person who commits to an action and it's a very good thing, ordinarily. He wants you to be so kissed up you forget your own name, only really remember his if you remember anyones name at all, and he's committed to that. His kisses will keep slow, his lips glorious and the pressure he puts onto your clit and aching core just enough to make you want to start grinding against him.

He kisses your breasts carefully, takes so much time with your nipples that you're almost completely sure there's a wet spot in his sweatpants from how wet the action has made you, laughs slightly when you moan loudly and become embarrassed.

969, 968, 967, 965, 964, 963, 962, 961, 959, 958, 957, 956, 954, 953, 952, 951, 950

"I love it when you get loud for me, baby," he whispers as he moves his lips down your chest and to your navel. You know he's going to take an absurd amount of time to kiss your hips, but you don't mind that.

You've always been particularly insecure about your hips and Adam has spent the majority of your relationship kissing them and holding them and telling you he loves them when your insecurity shines through. You hate your hips and you hate the hip dips you've been saddled with but Adam? You tell Adam he can't kiss your hips and he spends the next hour kissing you and telling you that you and your hips are fuckin' perfect.

He kisses down your navel and, of course, finds your hips. He glances at you for a second, waiting for your consent to kiss them because he knows it's an area of insecurity for you. When you nod, Adam can't fight his smile as he kisses across your stomach to your right hip, which he spends more time on than is probably worth.

He presses kiss after kiss there, probably leaving a hickey in the wake of his lips from his tongues involvement, murmurs an "I love you so much, baby," against your skin as he kisses across your stomach from your right hip to your left.

He takes his time with your left hip just as well, chuckles at the fact that you're so turned on that you've mindlessly let your moans go from quiet to average in terms of sound level because you've mostly stopped caring.

949, 948, 947, 946, 945, 944, 943, 942, 941, 940, 939, 938, 937, 936, 935, 934, 933, 932, 931, 930, 929, 928, 927, 926, 925, 924, 923, 921, 920

He kisses down to your dripping cunt, laughs when his lips press themselves against your clit because he knows just how wet he's managed to make you within maybe thirty minutes.

He moves his kisses from your wetness to your inner thighs, happy to kiss them for as long as he wants because he loves your thighs as much as he loves your hips--he loves them wholeheartedly, tells you as much as often as possible.

"Love your thighs, puppy," he whispers, breath ghosting against you in a way that makes you shiver. "You're so fucking perfect, yeah?"

You hum a response, unsure of how you're still even slightly coherent.

919, 918, 917, 916, 915, 914, 913, 912, 911, 910, 909, 908, 907, 906, 905, 904, 903, 902, 901, 900

He kisses from your right inner thigh to your left, once again taking his time because of how much he loves them. His hands slip under your thighs to find your hips, and you laugh a little, flustered because the fact of how much he loves your hips and hip dips when they're one of your biggest points of insecurity will never cease to turn you into a blushing idiot.

He laughs against your thigh, eyes keenly watching you. He's always been a bit voyeuristic so the fact that he's watching you is of little surprise, but you don't hate the way that he watches because he looks at you like you're the love of his life.

Granted, he always looks at you like that, but still. It's a nice emotion to register within the levelness of his gaze, the focus swimming in his blue-green eyes muddled by the love and adoration that rears itself upwards whenever he so much as glances in your direction.

899, 898, 897, 896, 895, 894, 893, 892, 891, 890, 889, 888, 887, 886, 885, 884, 883, 882, 881, 880

"So perfect," he whispers, kissing from your thigh back to the area just above your clit. He kisses from there back up your stomach, stopping once more to pay an absurd amount of attention to your hips and hip dips before he's kissing over your chest and you're another minute, maybe two, away from being so blissed out that you lose any and all senses of coherency onto which you've previously held.

"Adam," you whisper, saying his name like it's an unanswered prayer in an empty catholic church. "Adam, please."

His knee finds a spot between your legs again, and you moan as he presses it against your clit while his kisses move from your chest back to your neck.

879, 878, 877, 876, 875, 874, 873, 872, 871, 870, 869, 868, 867, 865, 864, 863, 862, 861, 860, 859, 858, 857, 856, 855, 854, 853, 852, 851, 850, 849, 848, 847, 846, 845, 843, 842, 841, 840

One of his hands finds your hip, the other one coming up to your lips. He presses his thumb against your bottom lip you take it into your mouth without a second thought, holding Adams gaze.

"Good puppy," he whispers, moaning lowly and pressing his forehead against the left side of your neck. "Oh, you're so good for me."

You moan, rutting your hips against his leg before you can stop yourself. The movement makes Adam grin, lift himself up so that he's staring down at you.

"You're desperate, aren't you?" He asks, a teasing grin on his face. "Keep doing that, mm? Grind against my leg, puppy. I know you want a release."

You moan, setting a pace with your hips as Adam slips his finger from your mouth and moves it to your chest, lips returning to your neck.

839, 383, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833 832, 831, 830, 829, 828, 287, 826, 825

Adams lips remain on your neck, occasionally drifting to your collarbone, upper chest and shoulders. He's relentless with his praise because he knows it's bound to make you melt, and make you melt it absolutely does.

"You're ethereal," he whispers, nipping gently at the skin of your collarbone. "I'm so proud of you, puppy. Workin' so hard to finish with your PhD program, you're fuckin' amazing."

You moan in response, needing more friction. Adam presses his knee against your clit further, adding just a bit more pressure--enough pressure to almost make you lose it.

You moan lewdly, hands slipping underneath his shirt to grip the skin of his back. The action makes Adam laugh, his kisses becoming more slow and deliberate as he starts kissing along your neck and eventually tilts your head up to reach the underside of your jaw.

"You're so perfect," he whispers.

824, 823, 822, 821, 819, 818, 817, 816, 815 814, 813, 812, 810

His kisses traverse back down your neck for what feels like the millionth time, and he kisses your shoulders and collarbone in a way that he knows makes you want him inside you more than will ever be reasonable.

When his kisses move down your chest and he adjusts so that he's not stuck in an uncomfortable position, you whimper at the loss of contact as his leg moves.

He's quick with it, though--one of his hands moves to your clit, rubbing slow circles as he tells you to grind against it in place of his knee.

809, 808, 807, 806, 805, 804, 803, 802, 801, 800

Before you can really register it, his lips are pressing kiss after senseless kiss against your inner thighs and you're moaning, begging words falling from your lips because all you want is to feel his tongue pressing flat against you while he slowly thrusts a finger into your folds.

He presses a few kisses against your clit, watching you through his eyelashes.

You look like a picture of bliss--one of your hands clutches the sheets, the other one has pulled itself through your hair so many times that a mess has been made of it, and you're biting your lower lip with anticipation.

His hands slide themselves under your thighs and over your hips, finding their favorite spot as his tongue presses flat against your clit. You press your head into the pillow it rests upon, moaning lewdly at the contact.

799, 798, 797, 796, 795, 794, 793, 792, 791, 790, 789, 788, 787, 786, 785, 784, 783, 782, 781, 780, 779, 778, 777, 776, 775, 774, 773, 772, 771, 770, 769, 768, 767, 765, 764, 763, 762, 761, 759, 758, 757, 756, 754, 753, 752, 751, 750

Adams tongue is skilled--eating you out is one of the things that gets you both off the quickest, and because of Aurelies words, you have zero doubt you're in for at least another few orgasms before Adam is done, but the way that his tongue feels against you is so good that you remain entirely unbothered by the idea, focusing on the way that his tongue feels when he presses it flat against your clit and the way that his hands feel as one locates your nipples and the other remains on your hip with the aim of keeping you steady.

When you start helplessly grinding against his face, Adam doesn't stop you. He moans, burying his face in your cunt and letting you ride his face paceless and senseless, clearly just wanting you to cum all over his nose, mouth, and chin.

When you come for the first time that night, you do so with a moan of Adams name before you release over his face. He keeps his tongue on your clit and works you through the aftershocks before he pulls away, lifting himself up to your level again and kissing you soft and slow, letting you taste yourself on his lips.

He cleans his face after your kiss, gets back into bed and presses kiss after kiss against your face, neck, and shoulders, delivering praise to you like it's nothing, and you can tell he means every word.

"You're amazing," he whispers. "You did so good for me, puppy."

Forty minutes of kisses go by, and you're happy to let Adam keep kissing you for the rest of time if he wants to.

749. 748, 747, 746, 745, 744, 743, 742, 741, 740, 739, 738, 737, 736, 735, 734, 732, 731, 730, 729, 728, 727, 726, 725, 724, 723, 722, 721, 720, 719, 718, 717, 716, 715, 714, 713, 712, 711, 710, 709, 708, 707, 706, 705, 704, 793, 792, 701, 700

"How many kisses down?" You ask, practically swimming in post-orgasm bliss.

"300," Adam grins cheekily at you. "It's been an hour and a half. That basically sets us up for another four hours."

"What time is it?" You ask. Adam checks the clock.

"About to be six thirty," he says. "We'll be done by around ten if you're still wanting me to actually kiss you a thousand times."

"Do you still want to?"

"I wouldn't tire of kissing you even if I gave it my all, so I'd like to, yeah."

You grin at him, nod. "Please kiss me again."

Adam does as you ask of him, smiling a little bit into the kiss as your hands slip underneath his shirt with the aim of eventually slipping the shirt over his head.

He pulls away to take his shirt and pants off, momentarily feeling guilt for being completely clothed while you were completely exposed.

The guilt fades when you're pulling him back into you by the neck and laughter bubbles up from his throat as he calls you a kiss fiend and moves to press kisses along your jawline.

You let him kiss you senseless, counting down the kisses while you have half the mind to do so, before he's taken you and turned you into a thoughtless, brainless version of yourself that's so clouded by bliss that any other emotion pushing past the weightlessness of how you'll feel is completely and totally inconceivable.

Adam has kissed you one hundred and fifty five more times across forty-five minutes by the time that you lose focus, as he's telling you to turn around so that he can kiss your back and you're doing as he asks because of how good the kisses feel and the fact that you never want them to stop.

He kisses along your shoulder blades, down the backs of your arms and the back of your neck, praising you and making sure you're not completely and totally blissed out by asking you to use your words and tell him how good it feels.

He kisses the backs of your hips, smiles against your skin and then turns you back around, kisses your lips sweetly as his hand trails down your chest, past your stomach, to your clit. He laughs, presses a kiss against your forehead when he presses his finger against your clit and you moan because it's throbbing and the touch feels amazing.

"Adam," you whisper. "Please."

Adam nods, rubs slow circles around your clit as his lips press themselves against your neck.

545, 544, 543, 542, 541, 540, 539, 538, 537, 3537, 535, 534, 533, 532, 531, 530, 529, 528, 527, 526, 525

The pace he sets with his finger is slow, his lips pressing kiss after kiss to your neck as you slip further and further into the bliss of it all. You're pretty much content to let Adam do whatever he wants to you at this point, all of the stress from completing your thesis and trying to figure out plans with Aurelie and Sam to celebrate your birthday melting away with every single one of Adams kisses and the pressure of his fingers.

524, 523, 522, 521, 520, 519, 518, 517, 516, 515, 514, 513, 512, 511, 510, 509, 508, 507, 506, 505, 504, 503, 502, 501, 500

Adam replaces his fingers with his thumb, pulls you into an open-mouthed kiss as he slowly thrusts his fingers into you.

You moan into his mouth, grinding against his fingers slowly.

"So good for me, puppy," Adam whispers against your lips. "God, you're so perfect."

You moan again in response, and Adams lips dip to your collarbone, paying attention to it like he hasn't since the kisses began. He fucks you with his fingers as his lips press kiss after fervent kiss against your shoulders, collarbone, and chest, dick throbbing because he hasn't let himself come yet.

When you're coming for the second time, Adam is kissing you and you're practically floating, willing to do any and everything he asks of you. His kisses are perfect and he knows how to make you teeter on the edge of release until he's ready to let you go, and he does such, kissing you senseless until he curls his fingers inside you with each of his thrusts and you're coming undone around his fingers within five minutes after those ministrations had begun.

You moan his name into his mouth, and he pulls away from the kiss as you clench around his fingers.

Clean up is simple enough--after he's kissed you through the aftershocks and pulled his fingers out of you, he simply licks his fingers clean while you watch him, dazed but mesmerized.

499, 498, 487, 496, 495, 494, 493, 492, 491, 490, 489, 488, 487, 486, 485, 484 483, 482, 481, 480, 479, 478, 476, 475 473, 472, 471, 470, 469, 468, 467, 466, 465, 464, 463, 462, 461, 460

"Adam," you whisper. "There are condoms in my nightstand. Need to feel more than your fingers."

"Y/N--" two times across three hours feels like a stretch, and he knows you have zero intention to go to class for the rest of the week because you've finished up with your thesis and thus, there's no point until you have to pass it in on it's due date, but still. Adam doesn't want to leave you so sore that you can't walk when you're a college student with more things to worry about than he.

"Please," you whisper. "I'll be fine, I promise. I had hoped the 1000 kisses thing would mean I got fucked senseless anyway. I already told my professors not to expect me for another week because of how much work I've done, and how badly I need a break. I need to feel you and you're throbbing because you've only fucked me with your tongue and your fingers, so it's a win-win situation."

Adam presses another two kisses to your forehead before he rolls over in the bed to grab a condom. He takes off his boxers as you tear the condom open, rolling it onto his length and relishing in the way that he moans at the contact of your hand with his cock.

"Fuck, Y/N," he moans quietly.

You let him position himself at your entrance, moan at every inch he pushes into you because of how good it feels. Adams cock is long and thick and nothing you'll ever get tired of.

Once his full length is inside you, he moans, pressing his forehead into the pillow to the right of your head as one of your hands finds his hair and the other rests on his neck. Your thighs move to wrap around his waist, and he kisses the side of your jawline as he waits for you to adjust.

459, 458, 457

When you give Adam the okay to start moving, he does so, his lips pressing kisses just about wherever they can reach.

It doesn't take Adam very long to make you see stars, the kisses that he delivers adding to the mindlessness of the way you feel. Every single minute that passes and you get closer and closer to forgetting what your own name is, Adams name the only clear thought that runs through your mind, repeating itself over and over like a mantra that only barely manages to keep you from floating away.

456, 455, 454, 453, 452, 451, 450, 449, 448, 447, 446, 445, 444, 443, 442, 441, 440, 439, 438, 437, 436, 435, 434, 432, 431, 430, 429, 428, 427, 426, 425, 424, 423, 421, 420, 419, 418, 417, 416, 415, 414, 413, 412, 411, 410, 409, 408, 407, 406, 405, 404, 403, 402, 401, 400

Adam keeps going after you've released and you're happy to let him, the feeling of him inside you too good to do anything but relish in. He moans your name in between his kisses, chasing the high of his own orgasm while also wanting to bring you to the edge of a fourth.

"Fuck," he moans. You're practically brainless beneath him, a cock-drunk mess of moans as your nails dig into his back and the hand that's kept a hold on his hair holding it so that it doesn't fall to the side because you'd taken the elastic out of it without thinking.

"Adam," you moan, his name the only coherent thought you have.

"You feel amazing," he responds, kissing your forehead. "Fuck, baby. You feel so good around me, mm?"

You moan in response and his kisses return to your neck, kissing along the underside of it and up to the underside of your jaw before his lips move back to your shoulders again.

399, 398, 397, 396, 395, 394, 393,392, 391, 390, 389, 388, 387, 386, 385, 384, 383, 382, 381, 380, 379, 378, 377, 376, 375, 374, 373, 372, 321, 370, 369, 368, 367, 366, 365, 364, 363, 362, 361, 360, 359, 358, 357, 356, 355, 354, 353, 352, 351, 350

He's apologizing lightly for a hickey that forms on your neck as he continues thrusting, and you're so blissed out from being fucked into the mattress that you tell yourself you'll give him a response later.

He slows the pace of his thrusts enough to drive you up the wall just a little, keeps that pace while he kisses you senseless for a long fifteen minutes before he kicks the pace back up again, dialing it from a six to an eleven within seconds.

349, 348, 347, 346, 345, 344, 342, 341, 340, 339, 338, 337, 336, 335, 334, 333, 332, 331, 330, 329, 328, 37, 326, 325, 324, 323, 322, 321, 320, 319, 318, 317, 316, 315, 314, 313, 312, 311, 310, 309, 308, 307, 306, 305, 304, 303, 302, 301, 300

Adams pace is quick, evenly timed, and perfect. You can hardly control how loud your moans start getting and Adam loves it, laughs when you press your forehead into the side of his neck in a break where he'd stopped kissing you because of your embarrassment.

"You're cute when you're embarrassed, puppy," he whispers, kissing your forehead. You hum your disagreement and he kisses you as deeply as either of you can manage, hand cradling your neck to allow the kiss to be so deep.

He pulls away and presses his lips across your chest again, keeping count where you've lost the ability to because of how fucked out you're starting to feel.

One hundred more kisses pass you by, and by that point Adams kicked the pace up just enough.

You come with a whisper of his name, saying it like it's the most meaningful word you'll ever speak. Adams teeth bite gently against your neck and he moans your name as your fourth release triggers his first, and he releases into the condom.

After thrusting into you through the post-orgasm aftershocks, Adam pulls out. He disposes of the condom while you go pee to avoid a UTI, and when you're back in bed, Adams lips are kissing you again and you're so blissed out that all you can do is stare at him lovingly.

The last two hundred kisses go by within fifteen minutes, Adams lips soft against your skin as he delivers whispered praise and sweet nothings in between each of the kisses he drops over your face, your arms, your hips, stomach, and thighs.

When he leaves, you're smiling like a buffoon and so happy your heart could melt with the joy you feel. He gets a bath going and then helps you to the bathroom, helps you into the bathtub while he reaffirms that he's proud of you for all the work you'd done with your thesis and acknowledges how hard it's been for you.

You let Adam wash your hair, exhausted and still not very coherent as he does so. It's very easy to melt into him and the way that his hands feel, and you let yourself do so without a second thought.

You agree to order pizza as a late-night dinner--it's nearly ten o'clock by the time you're both discussing it--and Adam helps you out of the bathtub, gets you to sit on the toilet while he blowdries your hair and leads you back to the bedroom.

He laughs when you point out the drawer of clothes you have that belong to him, kissing your forehead and making a remark about a pair of sweatpants he's not seen in close to two years. He gets dressed in the clothes from that drawer, helps you do the same because every single one of your limbs feels like Jell-o--completely and utterly unstable.

He grabs your phone from where you keep it, on the television stand in your living room, orders your birthday pizza while the two of you lay in your bed.

"Happy birthday," he says after the phone call is done and the pizza order is placed.

"Thank you," you hum, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. He grins a little, runs a hand through your hair and hums contentedly.

"I love you," he whispers after silence has settled.

"I love you more," you respond, half-asleep but so content your chest aches with it.

Adam presses a kiss to your forehead, holds you close and for a minute, feels as though letting you go is an impossible feat, hopes that nothing ever comes around to separate the two of you from one another.

His gaze shifts from you to the window, hand running through your hair as he watches the sky and listens to the sounds of the outdoors at two hours before midnight.

He's so content it makes him ache, and he knows you feel the same.

All in all, you have to think, as you drift off, that it's your best birthday yet.

[youdontknowhowtodiequietly]

This is mad long, bare with, or don't lmao

TW's for: References to depression, r*pe, a*use towards women, and a bunch of other women rights related issues. I don't go in depth, but they are very much there. Be careful. Look after your mental health, please. Also a smidgen of spoilers for the Barbie movie at the end.

So, this whole tangent began with the Barbie movie. I've wrote all my thoughts down in a notebook, that's how I know what I'm going to type - vaguely. This will seem insane to have come from the Barbie movie, but I think it will hopefully be coherent. (Not like anyone will read this, lol. I am NOT anywhere near popular enough for this to even get a comment but here we go)

Right. A bit of context to my life. Since I was about 14, I have always felt that I am some sort of trans. For a while I thought I was non-binary, then I thought I was gender-fluid, then (a recent development) I thought I was a guy. So, you can imagine the absolute loop I have been thrown through when I realised that what I might have been feeling is internalised, borderline, misogyny.

Wild right? Let me explain.

Since I was 11, I have repeatedly heard the horrors of being female in this world. The rape/murders that happen on a daily basis. The horrors towards women in the past. The continued disregard for female autonomy. The abuse faced at the hands of people who are supposed to protect us. It's all horrific. Not only this, but I have seen, heard, learnt, about the way society completely destroys women. The lack of acknowledgement for the pain of females', the constant dismissal of mental illnesses, physical illnesses and disabilities (this also happens with males, too, I am aware, especially in the mental health department, but this section of this post is about people with the female anatomy.) The blatant disregard towards women who report abusive partners or stalkers is disgusting. (And that is just in 1st World countries where human rights are supposed to be the best. The horrors that happen in other countries are worse, but I am writing about what I know. I cannot say anything about other countries other than I know that there are some truly atrocious things happening to women in a lot of them because I am not educated on those situations. But believe me, I see it.) I see people AFAB lament the horrors of having the female anatomy. The wish to not have periods, or a uterus at all. The constant pressure put on women to look a certain way all the time. To not be too thin or too fat, not have too much hair but have enough that it doesn't look like you're trying too hard, etc. Honestly, the Gloria speech in Barbie is the best one I have ever heard about what it's like to be a woman. I see people expressing disgust at pregnancies, how they never wish to have one because it'll make them look ugly, or because of the complications that come with it. I have seen it, and do see it, all. For the past 7 years I have seen it all.

Can you imagine how much that has f-ed me up? I'm sure you can, because I'm sure it's also true for a lot of you.

All of this has made me hate the idea of being a woman.

When I was in my early years of high school (I'm in the UK and we start high school at 11 and finish at 16) I always said how I would "love to be a boy" because I always saw it as easier. I hated being a girl because everything was so shit. And that carried on into my later years of high school.

As I was introduced to the wonderful different gender identities that exist, I began reading and hearing stories of how trans/non-binary/gender-fluid, etc, people felt before they realised they were what they are. And I thought, "oh, damn. That me." So I began experimenting with labels. But even whilst I did that, whilst I played around with pronouns, names, hairstyles, clothing, I always felt this deep want to wear pretty dresses and have long hair. But I rejected those wants because I was "trans/non-binary/gender-fluid now and if I want those things then I can't be any of those." Which, yes, I know, is very binary of me. I understand that anyone can wear pretty dresses and skirts and have ling, flowy hair that they place sparkly pins in. I know. But you have to understand how damn difficult it is to ignore the stuff you have been taught all your life. I wanted to be called she/her but at the same time rejected those feelings because the thought of being a woman made me sick.

But then I watched the Barbie movie.

Now, I don't remember my childhood much. I don't know if it was what you would call "traditional girlhood." But I know it was good. And I know many AFAB have experienced horrendous childhoods, which hurts me to think about every time. But when I saw the ending of the Barbie movie. When the videos of those girls and women were playing. I felt something in me. I'm sure you've all heard different renditions of how the montage made women feel, and a lot of them is how I would describe how I felt. So, I won't get into it. But just know I felt a shift in me.

As well as that montage, other things in the movie got to me. The inherent femininity of it, for one. I know from discussions with other people, and from seeing many videos/blogs online, that what I'm going to mention is a common experience for a lot of AFAB. I hated the colour pink. Despised it. I only very very recently, before the Barbie movie, began admitting that the colour wasn't so bad. But the Barbie movie made me think that, omg, I might actually love the colour. Alongside the colour pink, I loved the outfits of the Barbies'. They were so freeing to see. As I wrote previously, I wanted to wear pretty skirts and dresses and have pretty hairstyles, but always refused to acknowledge that. Seeing the Barbies' in their overtly feminine clothing (again, I know I'm leaning into gender binary but please give me some slack. It's hard to write when you're not a novelist) made me feel giddy. I saw them and was like "pretty pretty pretty" and not just because all the women were beautiful lmao. It lit up a spark of joy in me seeing them dress in those clothes. That's how I can best describe my feelings. I just suddenly felt that I could wear those things. Weird, huh?

Another thing in the movie is the portrayal of happy older women.

This again links with the video montage, but also links with the old lady at the beginning of the movie saying she knows she's beautiful, with Ruth Handler being so gentle with Stereotypical Barbie and not ridiculing her for being stupid or naive. It also links with Gloria. I freaking loved Gloria. All of these portrayals made me so happy because it gave me a sudden sense of hope that I will be okay one day.

As someone with severe depression and probably autism/ADHD, who doesn't remember not being depressed, that really spoke to me. These women were happy. They were okay with themselves. No, the LOVED themselves. It was beautiful.

This movie healed me, just a bit, and let me make the first real steps to healing fully. I'm still not 100% sure about my gender identity, but tbh I don't quite care. I'm starting to wear makeup often, starting to take care of my body better. I also bought a cute little Stitch dress lmao, and a white, frilly tank-top with purple flowers on it. I'm embracing my feminine side and I've never felt more free.

It's a wonderful feeling. I'm surprised myself that this all came from a Barbie movie. But, at the same time, I think I was beginning to realise this about myself before the movie. Having finished college and not needing to worry about Uni as I'm not going has given me the freedom to actually look at myself, internally, and ask "what do I feel?" Again, linking back to the Barbie movie when Ruth says, "Take my hands...Now, feel." And I have done. I've asked what my brain needs, and it's full of pretty dresses and pretty hairstyles and warmth and a want to live again.

I'm aware that this may seem silly to a lot of people. Maybe even childish. But I don't care. And that's a lot for an 18 year old to say, because many people my age, and older, do care. A lot.

This has just been an introspection, but I chose to share it because maybe it will help other people.

(Also, heavy disclaimer if you got this far. I don't know what terms are still used now, or how they're used. And writing about girl/womanhood and femininity whilst also trying to be inclusive to those who have the female anatomy but don't identify as a woman, and those who don't have the female anatomy but identify as women is very difficult. So, I deeply apologise if I used the term AFAB wrong, or if it is no longer an accepted term. Also, if anything else in this post is wrong/offensive or incorrect, again I'm sorry. Please let me know what is wrong and how to fix it and I will do my best to edit this post with the updated terminology/fixes.)

[angel-wings-and-quiet-things]

I had an exam today, and it made me realize that we're getting into exam season. So, I figured I'd share what I do personally to make exams way easier on myself. For context, this is from someone with ADHD who loves taking tests but hates the anxiety. I'm... five years? Into college by now.

The first thing you should do is use any scrap paper/writeable test provided to write down the important things you remember. If you need to know a mathematical formula, memorize what you can and write it immediately to make a cheat sheet type of thing. I've never seen anyone suggest this, even if it seems like common sense.

As you go through the test, make a key for yourself. Mine looks like this: cross off question numbers with one slash if I've completed it, two if I'm absolutely positive about the answer. Unanswered questions are not modified. This allows you to see at a glance what you have yet to answer. Talley up the questions you're sure about and calculate how many points it is (this helps my anxiety so much; it's very helpful knowing that I have at least 34 points that I'm positive about).

Don't feel pressured to answer everything in order. Sometimes, a later question will answer a previous one.

Cram sessions will often hurt you; I personally try to find small ways to study. Currently, I'm in anatomy and physiology, and happen to be a huge horror fan; naturally, my way of studying is staring at skeletons in games and identifying the bones on them. It's a great break from being chased by horrifying creatures.

Don't be too hard on yourself. School isn't always everything. It's important and should be taken seriously, yes, but there's more to life than this one exam. It's about balance.

Spend time away from the material! I like playing games with friends the night before and taking out my materials for short study bursts while I'm dead in-game. It's a great way to make progress while not overloading your brain. This may not work for everyone, though, so try it out on something with lower stakes first.

Do your homework without your notes first! Self-explanatory.

Find creative ways to study. I once heard thequeerkiwi say something about learning Korean using Peppa Pig, and I read a few articles about total immersion/survival language... so sometimes I set my games to my target language rather than my native one, or I play games with voice acting in my target language and try to translate it myself rather than just ignoring the parts I don't understand. One of these feels more effective (and it's the voice acting). International music is also good for this.

This is going to sound bad... but show off a little when you're allowed to. It really boosts your confidence and motivates you to keep learning/remember the material. Teach someone the material.

Okay, that's all. Good luck!

[brooklynislandgirl]

Do they get embarrassed easily when it comes to nsfw things? Or are they shameless?

What kind of things are they into?

Are they a virgin? When did they lose their virginity? If they haven’t, do you think they ever will? Are they waiting for someone special, or do they just not care?

Some Like It...Mild || Accepting

Beth imagines that given Kit is a therapist, questions asked of friends like this would be far down on her list of interesting things. But then again, she can only imagine the rumours Kit's heard over the last years; the ones about her and Andy, the ones about her being a tease, a tart, a nun. And rather than taking them to heart or becoming part of the gossip mill, the other woman decides to tackle them head on, with an open honesty that have nothing to do with the cocktails and the Grey's Anatomy binge watch from the beginning. The first question is really quite an innocent one, and she has to smile. Soft-ball pitch, she appreciates that. "I t'ink it all depends on da context, yeah? I have…curiosity. All kinds of movies, shows, books…all of it…make it seem so easy, so natural. I lissen t' my braddah's stories. I seem people a' work always turnin' up wit' someone new, talkin' about da kine… Tender an' stuff." Clearly, she means Tinder. "But I jus'…don' get it? I mean I can tell when someone is conventionally or uniquely good lookin' based on societal culture an' norms. I know how alla parts fit togeddah. But I sometimes have questions an' mebbe dat seems shameless but how I'm suppose to find out if I don' aks questions, right? So I guess…dat's somet'ing you're gonna hafta judge for yaself. But da more detail, easier it is to make me blush." The next is harder and it shows on her face with furrowed brows and her lips twisted to the side. "Patience…in understandin' I don' have da same drive as mebbe someone else. Kindness and gentility. Test biting, of course. Someone who understan' what dey like, an' not afraid t' tell me. Dancing." Beth doesn't really require much, she isn't high maintenance, and she's a blank slate in many ways. And yet…it's still hard to fit other people's requirements. The third question and its little question chicks are the hardest, the ones that bring the most colour to her face, and Beth downs two vodka jello-shots along with the rest of her espresso martini. "I am, yeah. Mos'ly because…I haven't really…" What? Fallen in love? How many women don't hold that up as concrete criteria? That she hasn't felt the desire? She has but it was fleeting and not enough to act on. The truth is that she hasn't really met anyone who have wanted her. For the night? Sure. Shake a stick with interns and attendings and you'll break it for all the hits but Beth isn't interested in that. She wants…needs…something more. "I mean I'd like t' t'ink dat it'll happen some day, don't we all? But I don' really care enough to pursue it, an' I no can say I really believe dat dere's someone out dere for me." She shrugs. "Wha' about you? What made you do it, dat first time? Did ya evah regret bein' wi' someone aftawards? Did you feel same-same desire after havin' children? Is dere somet'ing you're hoping to find wi' my braddah?"

[integrated-jebculus]

quarter 3

I have noticed a pattern in the last two quarters so far. The first half of each quarter, usually, is easier to grasp. The second half... is not. This quarter is no exception.[a]

I have also noticed that this quarter's lessons actually relied a lot on being able to picture things in your head. Because we don't exactly have a 3D modelling software to do the work for you (the applets on the GeoGebra website come close), you have to imagine that this line on a 2D space rotates this way and forms either a disk or a washer depending on how the rectangle is oriented or where it ends according to the bounds. This came as no challenge to me, as an artist who is actively working with 3D shapes to be able to draw human and animal anatomy accurately. Actually calculating their volume is the new part.[c] But even that I managed to grasp in the end, perhaps even more so than all the others--it was the first lesson I actually had a full understanding of, because it actually is simple. Does the rectangle hit the axis? You have a disk, and you only need one integral for this. Does the rectangle stop just units above or before the axis? You have a washer, and you have to take into account the radius of the hole too. It uses pretty much the same principle as calculating the area of a certain region within a bigger plane, or something of the sort.[f]

I still find it incredibly funny that finding the arc length and finding the centroid of a plane are placed right next to each other. I found the first absolute hell because I actually had to harken back to integration techniques I had long forgotten[e,g]. and I found a semi-practical use for the second in a Minecraft server of all places[d]. For context, a standard 2D map of a Minecraft world uses the x-z coordinate plane to denote coordinates, in which a single point is defined as a "block". This is how I found out that the designated center of this certain build in the Minecraft server is not the center; rather, it has been placed one block off the true center. This is a detail that will possibly haunt me forever, but this does not change the fact that somehow, this goofy little activity I did while I was incredibly bored drilled the practicality of the lesson into my brain. Sure, it may not be a real-life application, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I appreciated it nonetheless. I learned that I can drive myself to learn a lesson back from scratch if I can apply to something tangible, like one of my favorite pastimes in this case[b].

Clockwise from top: my solution, the corresponding graph superimposed on the map, and an in-game screenshot of the true center (469, 81, -1581). Note that the block behind my character is the supposed center.

How can I be able to apply all of these lessons outside of the Cartesian plane? It is already a given in finding the volume of a cylinder, but with a lesson that requires the use of coordinates (e.g. finding the centroid of a plane), is there a certain way to write the "coordinates" of the true center of an object in the real world[h]?

Get through it. That is the goal I want to set for myself in the coming quarter. Get through it, and promise yourself to make things better[i]. Get through it, and it'll be over soon[j].

[hanaaamaryam]

What makes us change, and what are the things we cannot change about ourselves?

Understanding the problem:

Actions have causes;

Whatever it is that person is doing, there is a cause for how someone is. If this cause is persistent, it is who that person is. We are our pre-existing conditions.

Actions are ongoing;

Our actions that stem from these causes exude consequences for as long as they persist. To be able to change these consequences is what it means to change.

Then:

Change those causes - Some causes can be undone.

Overpower those causes - Some causes can be overcome.

Everything else will remain the same.

A. What cannot be undone or overcome cannot change, and is the essence of who we really are, forever.

Incremental change is easier but often temporary. Drastic change is harder, but is more effective. To say a paradigm shift or a new belief changes people is easier said than done. Where would such a thing come from? How would one obtain it intentionally?

To be more specific, some notable agents of change:

Events; Our past is a wealth of events, and they stick intellectually and emotionally. Many of us are guided by these events. Unfortunately, what is done is done. So the effort here should be focused on how to arrive and achieve the new events that benefit you most. Some events tear us apart. Others will instill positive behavior for the rest of our lives. Ask anyone, and they will be able to share many examples. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Intelligence; In this context, intelligence is overrated. It is very difficult for some piece of acquired knowledge to seriously make any impact. Intelligence is like a house of cards. Most of what you know, fits (think about it). When something new is learned or when you are given a new card, we only accept it if it fits. We resist what could ruin our stacks which we are also emotionally attached to. Hence knowledge alone is rarely enough incentive for any undoing. The entire house needs to be replaced, and your emotional attachment needs overcoming.

Beliefs; This is where magic beats logic. New beliefs can overcome old intelligence. Beliefs are progressive. Once one can believe strongly enough in the progress a belief may grant them, they are suddenly willing to destroy and undo all they have come to know. Of course, the pitfall here is a compelling belief isn't necessarily true. Hence, it is no secret many broken people fall victim to bad cults and cons.

People; We aspire to be like others. Especially at a young age, it is the people we are surrounded by that shape us the most. Many invaluable events spawn from them as well. Often people make all the difference. Never underestimate the power of a fellow human being.

Change; We react to change both internally and externally. Internally, if something changes, rarely does it not nudge something else. And given enough time, nothing stays the same. Be it our environment, the people we're with, our work, the place we live, we will react when any of these things change. Instead of trying to change internally, external change can provide shortcuts. Rehab clinics are a good example of this principle put to practice. We can change inside out, or outside in.

From the perspective of someone who wants to change intentionally, they would need 3 things:

Intelligence; We need to know how to do it.

Motivation; We need to believe we can get there.

Means; The tools and resources must be available.

That is the anatomy of change.

So can people change?

HELL YES. We all depend on being able to change and improve ourselves. If we can't change, then what is the point? Many depend on others to change also, such as therapists or coaches or doctors or parents. Of course people change, and that is their job. Good change happens.

HELL NO. We all know that person who hasn't, won't, can't, or couldn't. For some it is themselves. Some change never happens. The hurdle is too high.

Most intentional change is incremental. We can do it, but in moderation. Most drastic change is accidental, or governed by external forces of nature and circumstance. It is hard to be drastic, and it is hard to see outside one's own paradigm. It can often be harder to even know specifically what change is needed or is possible, even when suffering could never be more obvious.

For real, genuine, deep change to happen, the most essential requirement is accurately understanding thy self.

But who are we really?

[eiirisworkshop]

The Fanfic Author's Guide to Metatext

(As Used on Ao3) by Eiiri

Also available as a PDF here. This thing is 13,000 words.  The PDF is recommended.

Intro: What is Metatext?

Metatext is everything we fanfic authors post along with our story that is not the story itself: title, tags, summary, author's notes, even the rating.

It is how we communicate to potential readers what they're signing themselves up for if they choose to read our story, how we let them make informed decisions regarding which fics they want to read, how we get their interest and, frequently, how they find our story in the first place. A lot of metatext acts as a consent mechanism for readers, it's the informed part of informed consent.

Since most of us who write fanfic also read it, we understand how important this is! But, for the most part, no one ever teaches us how to use metatext; we have to pick it up by osmosis. That makes it hard to learn how to use it well, we all suck at it when we first start out, and some of us may go years without learning particular conventions that seem obvious to others in our community. This creates frustration for everybody.

Enter this guide!

This is meant to be a sort of handbook for fic writers, particularly those of us who post on Archive of Our Own, laying out and explaining the established metatext conventions already in use in our community so we (and our readers!) are all on the same page. It will also provide some best-practices tips.

The point is to give all of us the tools to communicate with our audience as clearly and effectively as possible, so the people who want to read a story like ours can find it and recognize it as what they're looking for, those who don't want to read a story like ours can easily tell it's not their cup of tea and avoid it, nobody gets hurt, and everybody has fun—including us!

Now that we know what we're talking about, let's get on with the guide! The following content sections appear in the order one is expected to provide each kind of metatext when posting a fic on Ao3, but first….

Warning!

This is a guide for all authors on Ao3. As such, it mentions subject matter and kinds of fic that you personally might hate or find disgusting, but which are allowed under the Archive's terms of use. There are no graphic descriptions or harsh language in the guide itself, but it does acknowledge the existence of fic you may find distasteful and explains how to approach metatext for such fics.

Some sexual terminology is used in an academic context.

A note from the author:

This guide reflects the conventions of the English-language fanfiction community circa 2021. Conventions may differ in other language communities, and although many of our conventions have been in place for decades (praise be to our Star Trek loving foremothers) fanfiction now exists primarily in the realm of internet fandom where things tend to change rather quickly, so some conventions in this guide may die out while other new conventions, not covered in this guide, arise.

This is not official or in any way produced by the Archive of Our Own (Ao3), and though some actual site rules are mentioned, it is not a rulebook. Primarily, it is a descriptivist take on how the userbase uses metatext to communicate amongst ourselves, provided in the interest of making that communication easier and more transparent for everyone, especially newer users.

Contents

How To Use This Guide Ratings Archive Warnings Fandom Tags Category Relationship Tags Character Tags Additional Tags Titles Summaries Author's Notes Series and Chapters Parting Thoughts

How To Use This Guide

Well, read it.  Or have it read to you.

This isn't a glossary, it's a handbook, and it's structured more like an academic paper or report, but there's lots and lots of examples in it!

Many of these examples are titles of real media and the names of characters from published media, or tags quoted directly from Ao3 complete with punctuation and formatting.

Some examples are more generic and use the names Alex, Max, Sam, Chris, Jamie, and Tori for demonstration purposes. In other generic examples, part of an example tag or phrase may be sectioned off with square brackets to show where in that tag or phrase you would put the appropriate information to complete it.  This will look something like “Top [Character A]” where you would fill in a character's name.

This guide presumes that you know the basics of how to use Ao3, at least from the perspective of reading fic. If you don't, much of this guide may be difficult to understand and will be much less helpful to you, though not entirely useless.

Ratings

Most fanfic hosting sites provide ratings systems that work a lot like the ratings on movies and videogames.

Ao3's system has four ratings:

General

Teen

Mature

Explicit

These seem like they should be pretty self-explanatory, and the site's own official info pop-up (accessible by clicking the question mark next to the section prompt) gives brief, straightforward descriptions for each of them.

Even so, many writers have found ourselves staring at that dropdown list, thinking about what we've written, and wondering what's the right freaking rating for this?  How do I know if it's appropriate for “general audiences” or if it needs to be teen and up? What's the difference between Mature and Explicit?

The best way to figure it out is often to think about your fic in comparison to mainstream media.

General is your average Disney or Dreamworks movie, Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon shows, video games like Mario, Kirby, and Pokemon.

There may be romance, but no sexual content or discussion. Scary things might happen and people might get hurt, but violence is non-graphic and usually mild. Adults may be shown drinking alcohol or smoking tobacco, and some degree of intoxication may be shown (usually played for laughs and not focused on), but hard drug use is generally not shown or discussed.  There is little to no foul language written out and what language there may be is mild, though harsher swears may be implied by narration. There are no explicit F-bombs or slurs.

Teen is more like a Marvel movie, most network television shows (things like The Office, Supernatural, or Grey's Anatomy), video games like Final Fantasy, Five Nights at Freddie's, and The Sims.

There might be some sex and sexual discussion, but nothing explicit is shown—things usually fade to black or are leftimplied. More intense danger, more severe injuries described in greater detail, and a higher level of violence may be present.  Substance use may be discussed and intoxication shown, but main characters are unlikely to be shown doing hard drugs. Some swearing and other harsh language may be present, possibly including an F-bomb or two.  In longer works, that might mean an F-bomb every few chapters.

Mature is, in American terms, an R-rated movie* like Deadpool, Fifty Shades of Grey, The Exorcist, and Schindler's List; certain shows from premium cable networks or streaming services like Game of Thrones, Shameless, Breaking Bad, and Black Sails; videogames like Bioshock, Assassin's Creed, Grand Theft Auto, and The Witcher.

Sex may be shown and it might be fairly explicit, but it's not as detailed or graphic or as much the focus of the work as it would be if it were porn. Violence, danger, and bodily harm may be significant and fairly graphic. Most drug use is fair game. Swearing and harsh language may be extensive.

Explicit is, well, extremely explicit. This is full on porn, the hardcore horror movies, and snuff films.

Sex is highly detailed and graphic. Violence and injury is highly detailed and graphic. Drug use and its effects may be highly detailed and graphic. Swearing and harsh language may be extreme, including extensive use of violent slurs.

Please note that both Mature and Explicit fics are intended for adult audiences only, but that does not mean a teenaged writer isn't going to produce fics that should be rated M or E.  Ratings should reflect the content of the fic, not the age of the author.

Strictly speaking, you don't have to choose any of these ratings; Ao3 has a “Not Rated” option, but for purposes of search results and some other functions, Not Rated fics are treated by the site as Explicit, just in case, which means they end up hidden from a significant portion of potential readers. It really is in your best interest as a writer who presumably wants people to see their stories, to select a rating. It helps readers judge if yours is the kind of story they want right now, too.

Rating a fic is a subjective decision, there is some grey area in between each level. If you're not quite sure where your fic falls, best practice is to go with the more restrictive rating.

*(Equivalent to an Australian M15+ or R18+, Canadian 14A, 18A or 18+, UK 15 or 18, German FSK 16 or FSK 18.)

Warnings

Ao3 uses a set of standard site-wide Archive Warnings to indicate that a work contains subject matter that falls into one or more of a few categories that some readers are likely to want to avoid.  Even when posting elsewhere, it's courteous to include warnings of this sort.

These warnings are:

Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Major Character Death

Rape/Non-Con

Underage

Just like with the ratings, the site provides an info-pop up that explains what each warning is for. They're really exactly what it says on the tin: detailed descriptions of violence, injury, and gore; the death of a character central to canon or tothe story being told; non-consensual sex i.e. rape; and depictions of underage sex, which the site defines as under the age of 18 for humans—Ao3 doesn't care if your local age of consent or majority is lower than that.

In addition to the four standard warnings above, the warnings section has two other choices:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings

These do not mean the same thing and cannot be used interchangeably. “No Archive Warnings Apply” means that absolutely nothing in your fic falls into any of the four standard warning categories. “Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings” means that you the author are opting out of the warning system; your fic could potentially contain things that fall into any and all of the four standard warning categories.

There's nothing wrong with selecting Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings! It may mean that some readers will avoid your fic because they're not sure it's safe for them, and you might need to use more courtesy tags than you otherwise would (we'll talk about courtesy tags later), but that's okay! Opting out of the warning system can be a way to avoid spoilers,* and is also good for when you're just not sure if what you've written deserves one of the Archive warnings. In that case, the best practice is to select either the warning it might deserve or Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, then provide additional information in other tags, the summary, or an initial author's note.

Unless you're opting out of using the warning system, select all the warnings that apply to your fic, if any of them do. So if a sixteen year old main character has consensual sex then gets killed in an accident that you've written out in excruciating detail, that fic gets three out of the four standard warnings: Underage, Major Character Death, and Graphic Depictions Of Violence.

*(Fandom etiquette generally favors thorough tagging and warning over avoiding spoilers. It doesn't ruin the experience of a story to have a general sense of what's going to happen. If it did, we wouldn't all keep reading so many “there was only one bed” fics.)

Fandom Tags

What fandom or fandoms is your fic for?  You definitely know what you wrote it for, but that doesn't mean it's obvious what to tag it as.

Sometimes, it is obvious! You watched a movie that isn't based on anything, isn't part of a series, and doesn't have any spinoffs, tie-ins or anything else based on it. You wrote a fic set entirely within the world of this movie. You put this movie as the fandom for your fic. Or maybe you read a book and wrote a fic for it, and there is a movie based on the book, but the movie is really different and you definitely didn't use anything that's only in the movie. You put the book as the fandom for your fic.

All too often, though, it's not that clear.

What if you wrote a fic for something where there's a movie based on a book, but the movie's really different, and you've used both things that are only in the movie and things that are only in the book?  In that case you either tag your fic as both the movie and the book, or see if the fandom has an “all media types” tag and use that instead of the separate tags.  If the fandom doesn't have an “all media types” tag yet, you can make one! Just type it in.

“All media types” fandom tags are also useful for cases where there are lots of inter-related series, like Star Wars; there are several tellings of the story in different media but they're interchangeable or overlap significantly, like The Witcher; or the fandom has about a zillion different versions so it's very hard, even impossible, to say which ones your fic does and doesn't fit, like Batman. Use your best judgement as to whether you need to include a more specific fandom tag such as “Batman (Movies 1989-1997)” alongside the “all media types” fandom tag, but try to avoid including very many. The point of the “all media types” tag is to let you leave off the specific tags for every version.

In a situation where one piece of media has a spinoff, maybe several spinoffs, and you wrote a fic that includes things from more than one of them, you might want use the central work's “& related fandoms” tag. For example, the “Doctor Who & Related Fandoms” tag gets used for fics that include things from a combination of any era of Doctor Who, Torchwood, and The Sarah Jane Adventures.

And don't worry, from the reader-side of the site the broadest fandom tags are prioritized. The results page for an “all media types” or “& related fandoms” search includes works tagged with the more specific sub-tags for that fandom, the browse-by-fandom pages show the broadest tag for each fandom included, and putting a fandom into the search bar presumes the broadest tag for that fandom.  A search for “Star Wars - All Media Types” will pull up work that only has a subtag for that fandom, like “The Mandalorian (TV).” You don't have to put every specific fandom subtag for people to find your fic.

If you wrote a fic for something that's an adaptation of an older work—especially an older work that's been adapted a lot, like Sherlock Holmes or The Three Musketeers—it can be hard to know how you should tag it. The best choice is to put the adaptation as the fandom, for instance “Sherlock (TV),” then, if you're also using aspects of the older source work that aren't in the adaptation, also put a broad fandom tag such as “Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms.” Do not tag it as being fic for the source work—in our Sherlock example that would be tagging it “Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle”—unless you are crossing over the source work and the adaptation. Otherwise, the specific fandom subtag for the source work ends up clogged with fic for the adaptation, which really is a different thing.

By the same token, fic for the source work shouldn't be tagged as being for the adaptation, or the adaptation's subtag will get clogged.

The same principle applies to fandoms that have been rebooted. Don't tag fic for the reboot as being for the original, or fic for the original as being for the reboot. Don't tag a fic as being for both unless the reboot and original are actually interacting. Use an “& related fandoms” tag for the original if your fic for the reboot includes some aspects of the original that weren't carried over but you haven't quite written a crossover between the two. Good examples of these situations can be seen with “Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)” vs. “Star Trek: The Original Series,” and “She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)” vs. “She-Ra: Princess Of Power (1985).”

Usually, this kind of mistagging as a related fandom happens when someone writes a fic for something that is or has a reboot, spinoff, or adaptation, but they're only familiar with one of the related pieces of media, and they mistakenly presume the fandoms are the same or interchangeable because they just don't know the difference.  It's an honest mistake and it doesn't make you a bad or fake fan to not know, but it can be frustrating for readers who want fic for one thing and find the fandom tag full of fic for something else.

In order to avoid those kinds of issues, best practice is to assume fandoms are not interchangeable no matter how closely related they are, and to default to using a tag pair of the most-specific-possible sub-fandom tag + the broadest possible fandom tag when posting a fic you're not entirely sure about, for instance “Star Trek” and “Star Trek: Enterprise.”

The Marvel megafandom has its own particular tagging hell going on. Really digging into and trying to make sense of that entire situation would require its own guide, but we can go through some general tips.

There is a general “Marvel” fandom tag and tags for both “The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom” and “The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types.” Most of us who write Marvel fic are working with a cherry picked combination of canons from the MCU, various comics runs, both timelines of X-Men movies, and possibly several decades worth of cartoons. That's what these tags are for.

If your cherry picked Marvel fic is more X-Men than Avengers, go for the “X-Men - All Media Types” tag.

If you are primarily working with MCU canon, use the MCU specific tags rather than “all media types” and add specific tags for individual comics runs—like Earth 616 or the Fraction Hawkeye comics—if you know you're lifting particular details from the comics.  If you're just filling in gaps in MCU canon with things that are nebulously “from the comics” don't worry about tagging for that, it's accepted standard practice in the fandom at this point, use a broader tag along with your MCU-specific tag if you want to.

Same general idea for primarily movie-verse X-Men fics. Use the movie-specific tags.

If your fic mostly draws from the comics, use the comics tags. If you're focusing on an individual run, show, or movie series rather than an ensemble or large swath of the megafranchise, tag for that and leave off the broader fandom tags.

Try your best to minimize the number of fandom tags on your Marvel work. Ideally, you can get it down to two or three. Even paring it down as much as you can you might still end up with about five.  If you're in the double digits, take another look to see if all the fandom tags you've included are really necessary, or if some of them are redundant or only there to represent characters who are in the fic but that the fic doesn't focus on. Many readers tend to search Marvel fics by character or pairing tags, it's more important that you're thorough there. For the fandom tags it's more important that you're clear.

If you write real person fiction, you need to tag it as an RPF fandom. Fic about actors who are in a show together does not belong on the fandom tag for that show. There are separate RPF fandom tags for most shows and film franchises. Much like the adaptation/source and reboot/original situations discussed earlier, a fic should really only be tagged with both a franchise's RPF tag and its main tag if something happens like the actors—or director or writer!—falling into the fictional world or meeting their characters.

Of course, not all RPF is about actors. Most sports have RPF tags, there are RPF tags for politics from around the world and for various historical settings, the fandom tags for bands are generally presumed to be RPF tags, and there is a general Real Person Fiction tag.

In order to simplify things for readers, it's best practice to use the general Real Person Fiction tag in addition to your fandom-specific tag. You may even want to put “RPF” as a courtesy tag in the Additional Tags section, too. This is because Ao3 isn't currently set up to recognize RPF as the special flavor of fic that it is in the same way that the site recognizes crossovers as special, so it can be very difficult to either seek out or avoid RPF since it's scattered across hundreds of different fandom tags.

On the subject of crossovers—they can make fandom tagging even more daunting. Even for a crossover with lots of fandoms involved, though, you just have to follow the same guidelines as to tag a single-fandom work for each fandom in the crossover. The tricky part is figuring out if what you wrote is really a crossover, or just an AU informed by another fandom—we'll talk about that later.

There are some cases where it's really hard to figure out what fandom something belongs to, like if you wrote a fanfic of someone else's fanfic, theirs is an AU and yours is about their OC, not any of the characters from canon. What do you do?! Well, you do not tag it as being a fanfic for the same thing theirs was. Put the title of their fic (or name of their series) as the fandom for your fic, attributed to their Ao3 handle just like any other fandom is attributed to its author. Explain the situation in either the summary or the initial author's note. Also, ask the author's permission before posting something like this.

What if you wrote a story about your totally original D&D character? The fandom is still D&D, you want the “Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)” tag.

What if there's not a fandom tag on the Archive yet for what you wrote? Not a problem! You can type in a new one if you're the first person to post something for a particular fandom. Do make sure, though, that the fandom isn't just listed by a different name than you expect. Many works that aren't originally in English—including anime—are listed by their original language title or a direct translation first, and sometimes a franchise or series's official name might not be what you personally call it, for instance many people think of Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials series as The Golden Compass series, so it's best to double check.

What if you wrote an entirely new original story that's not based on anything?  Excellent job, that takes a lot of work, but that probably doesn't belong on Ao3!  The Archive is primarily meant as a repository for fannish content, but in a few particular circumstances things we'd consider Original Work may be appropriate content for the Archive as well. Double check the Archive's Terms of Service FAQ and gauge if what you wrote falls under the scope of what is allowed. If what you wrote really doesn't fit here, post it somewhere else or try to get it published if you feel like giving it a shot.

Category

What Ao3 means by category is “does this fic focus on sex or romance, and if so what combination of genders are involved in that sex or romance?”

The category options are:

F/F

F/M

Gen

M/M

Multi

Other

The F/F, F/M, and M/M categories are for stories focused on pairings of two women, a woman and a man, and two men, respectively.  These refer to sexual and/or romantic pairings.

The Other category is for stories focused on (sexual and/or romantic) pairings where one or both partners are not strictly male or female, such as nonbinary individuals, people from cultures with gender systems that don't match to the Western man-woman system, and nonhuman characters for whom biological sex works differently or is nonexistent, including aliens, robots, and inanimate objects or abstract concepts. There are some problems with treating nonbinary humans, eldritch tentacle monsters, sexless androids, and wayward container ships as all the same category, but it's the system we currently have to work with. Use Additional Tags to clarify the situation.

Multi is for stories in which several (sexual and/or romantic) relationships are focused on or which focus on relationships with multiple partners, including cases of polyamory, serial monogamy, strings of hookups with different people, and orgies.  A fic will also show as “Multi” if you, the author, have selected more than one category for the fic, even if none of those are the Multi category. Realistically, the Archive needs separate “Multiple Categories” and “Poly” options, but for now we have to work with this system in which the two are combined.  Use Additional Tags to clarify the situation.

Gen is for stories that do not contain or are not focused on sex or romance. Romance may be present in a gen fic but it's going to be in the background.  While rare, there is such a thing as a sexually explicit gen fic—solo masturbation which does not feature fantasizing about another character is explicit gen fic; a doctor character seeing a series of patients with sex-related medical needs following an orgy may qualify if the orgy is not shown and the doctor is being strictly professional—but such fic needs to be rated, otherwise tagged, and explained carefully in the summary and/or author's note.

Much like the warnings section, category is a “select all that apply” situation. Use your best judgement. For a fic about a polyamorous relationship among a group of women, it's entirely appropriate to tag it as both F/F and Multi.  A poly fic with a combination of men and women in the relationship could be shown as both M/M and F/M, Multi, or all three. A fic that focuses equally on one brother and his husband and the other brother and his wife should be tagged both M/M and F/M, and could be tagged as Multi but you might decided not to just to be clear that there's no polyamory going on. If you wrote a fic about two characters who are both men in canon, but you wrote one of them as nonbinary, you could tag it M/M, Other, or both depending on what you feel is representative and respectful.

When dealing with trans characters, whether they're trans in canon or you're writing them as such, the category selection should match the character's gender.  If there's a character who is a cis woman in canon, but who you're writing as a trans man, you categorize the fic based on his being a man. If there's a character who is a cis man in canon, but whom you're writing as a trans man, he is still a man and the fic should be categorized accordingly. When dealing with nonbinary characters the fic should really be classed as Other though, by convention, fics about characters who are not nonbinary in canon may be classed based on the character's canon gender as well or instead. When dealing with gender swapped characters—i.e. a canonically cis male superhero who you're writing as a cis woman—class the fic using the gender you wrote her with, not the gender he is in canon.

Most of the time, gen fics should not be categorized jointly with anything else because a fic should only be categorized based on the ships it focuses on, and a gen fic should not be focusing on a ship in the first place.*

*(One of the few circumstances in which it might make sense to class a fic as both gen and something else is when writing about Queerplatonic Relationships, but that is a judgement call and depends on the fic.)

Relationship Tags

The thing about relationship tagging that people most frequently misunderstand or just don't know is the difference between “Character A/Character B” and “Character A & Character B.”

Use a “/” for romantic or sexual relationships, such as spouses, people who are dating, hookups, and friends with benefits. Use “&” for platonic or familial relationships, such as friends, siblings, parents with their kids, coworkers, and deeply connected mortal enemies who are not tragically in love.

This is where we get the phrase “slash fic.” Originally, that meant any fic focused on a romantic paring, but since so much of the romantic fic being produced was about pairs of men, “slash fic” came to mean same-sex pairings, especially male same-sex pairings. Back in earlier days of fandom, pre-Ao3 and even pre-internet, there was a convention that when writing out a different-sex pairing, you did so in man/woman order, while same-sex pairings were done top/bottom. Some authors, especially those who have been in the fic community a long time, may still do this, but the convention has not been in consistent, active use for many years, so you don't have to worry about putting the names in the “correct” order. Part of why that died out is we, as a community, have gotten less strict and more nuanced in our understandings of sex and relationships, we're writing non-penetrative sex more than we used to, and we're writing multi-partner relationships and sex more than we used to, so strictly delineating “tops” and “bottoms” has gotten less important and less useful.

The convention currently in use on Ao3 is that the names go in alphabetical order for both “/” and “&” relationships. In most cases, the Archive uses the character's full name instead of a nickname or just a given name, like James "Bucky" Barnes instead of just Bucky or James. We'll talk more about conventions for how to input character names in the Characters section. The Archive will give you suggestions as you type—if one of them fits what you mean but is slightly different from how you were typing it, for instance it's in a different order, please use the tag suggested! Consistency in tags across users helps the site work more smoothly for everybody.

This is really not the place for ship nicknames like Puckleberry, Wolfstar, or Ineffable Wives. Use the characters' names.

Now that you know how to format the relationship tag to say what you mean, you have to figure out what relationships in your fic to tag for.

The answer is you tag the relationships that are important to the story you're telling, the ones you spend time and attention following, building up, and maybe even breaking down. Tagging for a ship is not a promise of a happy ending for that pair; you don't have to limit yourself to tagging only the end-game ships if you're telling a story that's more complicated than “they get together and live happily ever after.” That said, you should generally list the main ship—the one you focus on the most—first on the list, and that will usually be the end-game ship. You should also use Additional Tags, the summary, and author's notes to make it clear to readers if your fic does not end happily for a ship you've tagged. Otherwise readers will assume that a fic tagged as being about a ship will end well for that ship, because that's what usually happens, and they'll end up disappointed and hurt, possibly feeling tricked or lied to, when your fic doesn't end well for that ship

You don't have to, and honestly shouldn't, tag for every single relationship that shows up in your fic at all. A character's brief side fling mentioned in passing, or a relationship between two background characters should not be listed under the Relationship tag section. You can list them in the format “minor Character A/Character C” or “Character C/Character D – mentions of” in the Additional Tags section if you want to, or just tag “Minor or Background Relationship(s)” under either the Relationship tag section or in the Additional Tags section.

There are two main reasons to not tag all those minor relationships. The first is to streamline your tags, which makes them clearer and more readable, and therefore more useful. The second reason is because certain ships are far more common as minor or background relationships than as the focus of a work, so tagging all your non-focus focus ships leads to the tags for these less popular ships getting clogged with stories they appear in, but that are not about them. That is, of course, very frustrating for readers who really want to read stories that focus on these ships.

If your fic contains a major relationship between a canon character and an OC, reader-insert, or self-insert, tag it as such. The archive already has /Original Character, /Reader, /You, and /Me tags for most characters in most fandoms. If such a relationship tag isn't already in use, type it in yourself. There are OC/OC tags, too, some of which specify gender, some of which do not.  All the relationship tags that include OCs stack the gender-specific versions of the tags under the nongendered ones. Use these tags as appropriate.

For group relationships, both polycules and multi-person friendships, you “/” or “&” all the names involved in alphabetical order, so Alex/Max/Sam are dating while Chris & Jamie & Tori are best friends. For a poly situation where not everyone is dating each other you should tag it something like “Alex/Max, Alex/Sam” because Alex is dating both Max and Sam, but Max and Sam are not romantically or sexually involved with each other. Use your judgement as to whether you still want to include the Alex/Max/Sam trio tag, and whether you should also use a “Sam & Max” friendship tag.

Generally, romantic “/” type relationships are emphasized over “&” type relationships in fic. It is more important that you tag your “/”s thoroughly and accurately than that you tag your “&”s at all. This is because readers are far more likely to either be looking for or be squicked by particular “/” relationships than they are “&” relationships. You can tag the same pair of characters as both / and & if both their romance and their friendship is important to the story, but a lot of people see this as redundant. If you're writing incest fic, use the / tag for the pair not the & tag and put a courtesy tag for “incest” in the Additional Tags section; this is how readers who do not want to see incestuous relationships avoid that material.

Queerplatonic Relationships, Ambiguous Relationships, Pre-Slash, and “Slash If You Squint” are all frequently listed with both the “/” and “&” forms of the pairing; use your best judgement as to whether one or the other or both is most appropriate for what you've written and clarify the nature of the relationship in your Additional Tags.

Overall, list your “/” tags first, then your “&” tags.

Character Tags

Tagging your characters is a lot like tagging your relationships. Who is your fic about? That's who you put in your character tags.

You don't have to and really should not tag every single background character who shows up for just a moment in the story, for pretty much the same reasons you shouldn't tag background relationships.  We don't want to clog less commonly focused on characters' tags with stories they don't feature prominently in.

You do need to tag the characters included in your Relationship tags.

A character study type of fic might only have one character you need to tag for. Romantic one shots frequently only have two. Longfics and fics with big ensemble casts can easily end up with a dozen characters or more who really do deserve to be tagged for.

Put them in order of importance. This doesn't have to be strict hierarchal ranking, you can just arrange them into groups of “main characters,” “major supporting characters,” and “minor supporting characters.” Nobody less than a minor supporting character should be tagged. Even minor supporting characters show up for more than one line.

If everyone in the fic is genuinely at the same level of importance (which does happen, especially with small cast fics), then order doesn't really matter. You can arrange them by order of appearance or alphabetically by name if you want to be particularly neat about it.

Do tag your OCs! Some people love reading about OCs and want to be able to find them; some people can't stand OCs and want to avoid them at all costs; most people are fine with OCs sometimes, but might have to be in the mood for an OC-centric story or only be comfortable with OCs in certain contexts. Regardless, though, Character tags are here to tell readers who the story is about, and that includes new faces. Original Characters are characters and if they're important to the story, they deserve to be tagged for just like canon characters do.

There are tags for “Original Character(s),” “Original Male Character(s),” and “Original Female Character(s).” Use these tags!  If you have OCs you're going to be using frequently in different stories, type up a character tag in the form “[OC's Name] – Original Character” and use that in addition to the generic OC tags.

Also tag “Reader,” “You,” or “Me” as a character if you've written a reader- or self-insert.

You can use the “Minor Characters” tag to wrap up everybody, both OC and canon, who doesn't warrant their own character tag. Remember, though, that this tag is also used to refer to minor canon characters who may not have their own official names.

Just like when tagging for relationships, the convention when tagging for characters is to use their full name. The suggestions the Archive gives you as you type will help you use the established way of referring to a given character.

Characters who go by more than one name usually have their two most used names listed together as one tag with the two names separated by a vertical bar like “Andy | Andromache of Scythia.” This also gets used sometimes for characters who have different names in an adaptation than in the source text, or a different name in the English-language localization of a work than in the original language. For character names from both real-world and fictional languages and cultures that put family or surname before the given name—like the real Japanese name Takeuchi Naoko or the made up Bajoran name Kira Nerys—that order is used when tagging, even if you wrote your fic putting the given name first.

Some characters' tags include the fandom they're from in parentheses after their name like “Connor (Detroit: Become Human).” This is mostly characters with ordinary given names like Connor and no canon surname, characters who have the same full name as a character in another fandom, such as Billy Flynn the lawyer from the musical Chicago and Billy Flynn the serial killer played by Tim Curry in Criminal Minds, and characters based on mythological, religious, or historical figures or named for common concepts such as Lucifer, Loki, Amethyst, Death, and Zero that make appearances in multiple fandoms.

Additional Tags

Additional Tags is one of the most complicated, and often the longest, section of metatext we find ourselves providing when we post fic. It's also the one that gives our readers the greatest volume of information.

That, of course, is what makes it so hard for us to do well.

It can help to break down Additional Tags into three main functions of tag: courtesy tags, descriptive tags, and personal tags.

Courtesy tags serve as extensions of the rating and warning systems. They can help clarify the rating, provide more information about the Archive Warnings you've used or chosen not to use, and give additional warnings to tell readers there are things in this fic that may be distasteful, upsetting, or triggering but that the Archive doesn't have a standard warning for.

Descriptive tags give the reader information about who's in this fic, what kind of things happen, what tropes are in play, and what the vibe is, as well as practical information about things like format and tense.

Personal tags tell the readers things about us, the author, our process, our relationship to our fic, and our thoughts at the time of posting.

It doesn't really matter what order you put these tags in, but it is best practice to try to clump them: courtesy tags all together so it's harder for a reader to miss an important one, ship-related info tags together, character-related info tags together, etc.

There are tons and tons of established tags on Ao3, and while it's totally fine, fun, and often necessary to make up your own tags, it's also important to use established tags that fit your fic.  For one thing, using established tags makes life easier for the tag wranglers behind the scenes. Using a new tag you just made up that means the same thing as an established tag makes more work for the tag wranglers. We like the tag wranglers, they're all volunteers, and they're largely responsible for the search and sorting features being functional. Be kind to the tag wranglers.

For basically the same reasons, using established tags makes it easier for readers to find your fic. If a reader either searches by a tag or uses filters on another search to “Include” that tag, and you didn't use that tag, your fic will not show up for them even if what you wrote is exactly what they're looking for.  Established tags can be searched by exactly the same way as you search by fandom or pairing, your off the cuff tags cannot.

Let's talk about some well-known established tags and common tag types, divvied up by main function.

Courtesy

A lot of courtesy tags are specific warnings like “Dubious Consent,” “Incest,” “Drug Use,” “Extremely Underage,” “Toxic Relationship,” and “Abuse.” Many of these have even more specific versions such as “Recreational Drug Use” and “Nonconsensual Drug Use,” or “Mildly Dubious Consent” and “Extremely Dubious Consent.”

Giving details about what, if any, drugs are used or mentioned, specifying what kinds of violence or bodily harm are discussed or depicted, details about age differences or power-imbalanced relationships between characters who date or have sex, discussion or depictions of suicide, severe or terminal illness, or mental health struggles is useful. It helps give readers a clear sense of what they'll encounter in your fic and decide if they're up for it.

One the most useful courtesy warning tags is “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” which basically means “there are things in this fic which are really screwed up and may be disturbing, read at your own risk, steer clear if you're not sure.” This tag—like all courtesy warnings, really—is a show of good faith, by using it you are being a responsible, and thoughtful member of the fanfic community by giving readers the power and necessary information to make their own informed decisions about what they are and are not comfortable reading.

Saying to “Heed the tags” is quite self-explanatory and, if used, should be the last or second to last tag so it's easy to spot.  Remember, though, that “Heed the tags” isn't useful if your tags aren't thorough and clear.

“Additional Warnings In Author's Note” is one of only things that should ever go after “Heed the tags.”  If you use this, your additional warnings need to go in the author's note at the very beginning of the fic, not the one at the end of the first chapter.  If your additional warnings write up is going to be very long because it's highly detailed, then it can go at the bottom of the chapter with a note at the beginning indicating that the warnings are at the bottom. Some authors give an abbreviated or vague set of warnings in the initial note, then longer, highly detailed, spoilery warnings in the end note. It's best to make it as simple and straightforward as possible for readers to access warnings.

Tagging with “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat,” “Heed the tags,” or “Additional Warnings In Author's Note” is not a substitute for thorough and appropriate courtesy tagging. These are extra reminders to readers to look closely at the other warnings you've given.

While most courtesy tags are warnings, some are assurances like “No Lesbians Die” or “It's Not As Bad As It Sounds.”  A fic tagged for rape or dub-con may get a tag assuring that the consent issues are not between the characters in the main ship; or a fic with a premise that sounds likely to involve lack of consent but actually doesn't may get a tag that it's “NOT rape/non-con.” A tag like “Animal Death” may be immediately followed by a freeform tag assuring that the animal that dies is not the protagonist's beloved horse.

Descriptive

There are a few general kinds of descriptive tags including character-related, ship-related, temporal, relation-to-canon, trope-related, smut details, and technical specifications.

Many character- and ship-related tags simply expand on the Character and Relationship tags we've already talked about.  This is usually the place to specify details about OCs and inserts, such as how a reader-insert is gendered.

When it comes to character-related tags, one of the most common types in use on Ao3 and in fandom at large is the bang-path. This is things like werewolf!Alex, trans!Max, top!Sam, kid!Jamie, and captain!Tori. Basically, a bang-path is a way of specifying a version of a character. We've been using this format for decades; it comes from the very first email systems used by universities in the earliest days of internet before the World Wide Web existed. It's especially useful for quickly and concisely explaining the roles of characters in an AU. Nowadays this is also one of the primary conventions for indicating who's top and who's bottom in a ship if that's information you feel the need to establish.  The other current convention for indicating top/bottom is as non-bang-path character-related tags in the form “Top [Character A], Bottom [Character B].”

Other common sorts of character tags are things like “[Character A] Needs a Hug,” “Emotionally Constipated [Character B],” and “[Character C] is a Good Dad.”

Some character-related tags don't refer to a particular character by name, but tell readers something about what kinds of characters are in the fic. Usually, this indicates the minority status of characters and may indicate whether or not that minority status is canon, as in “Nonbinary Character,” “Canon Muslim Character,” “Deaf Character,” and “Canon Disabled Character.”

Down here in the tags is the place to put ship nicknames!  This is also where to say things like “They're idiots your honor” or indicate that they're “Idiots in Love,” maybe both since “Idiots in Love” is an established searchable tag but “They're idiots your honor” isn't yet. If your fandom has catchphrases related to your ship, put that here if you want to.

If relevant, specify some things about the nature of relationships in your fic such as “Ambiguous Relationship,” “Queerplatonic Relationships,” “Polyamory,” “Friends With Benefits,” “Teacher-Student Relationship,” and so on. Not all fics need tags like these. Use your best judgement whether your current fic does.

Temporal tags indicate when your fic takes place. That can be things like “Pre-Canon” and “Post-Canon,” “Pre-War,” “Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier,” “1996-1997 NHL season,” “Future Fic,” and so on.  These tags may be in reference to temporal landmarks in canon, in the real world, or both depending on what's appropriate.

Some temporal tags do double duty by also being tags about the fic's relationship to canon. The Pre- and Post-Canon tags are like that.

Other relation-to-canon type tags are “Canon Compliant” for fics that fit completely inside the framework of canon without changing or contradicting anything, “Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence” for fics that are compliant up to a certain point in canon, then veer off (maybe because you started writing the fic when the show was on season two but now it's at season four and you're not incorporating everything from the newer seasons, maybe a character died and you refuse to acknowledge that, maybe you just want to explore what might have happened if a particular scene had gone differently), and the various other Alternate Universe tags for everything from coffee shop AUs and updates to modern settings, to realities where everyone is a dragon or no one has their canon superpowers.

The established format for these tags is “Alternate Universe – [type],” but a few have irregular names as well, such as “Wingfic” for AUs in which characters who don't ordinarily have wings are written as having wings.

If you have written an AU, please tag clearly what it is! Make things easy on both the readers who are in the mood to read twenty royalty AUs in a row, the readers who are in the middle of finals week and the thought of their favorite characters suffering through exams in a college AU would destroy the last shred of their sanity but would enjoy watching those characters teach high school, and the readers who really just want to stick to the world of canon right now.

Admittedly, it can get a little confusing what AU tag or tags you need to describe what you've written since most of us have never had a fandom elder sit us down and explain what the AU tags mean. One common mix up is tagging things “Alternate Universe - Modern Setting” when what's meant is “Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence.”  The misunderstanding here is usually reading “Alternate Universe - Modern Setting” and thinking it means an alternate version of the canon universe that is set at the same time as the canon universe, but is different in some way. That's not how the tag is meant to be used, though.

The Modern Setting AU tag is specifically for fic set now (at approximately the same time period it was written), for media that's canonically set somewhere that is very much not the present of the real world. This can mean things set in the past (like Jane Austen), the future (like Star Trek), or a fantasy world entirely different from our own (like Lord of the Rings or Avatar: the Last Airbender). Fic for a canon that's set more or less “now” doesn't need the Modern Setting AU tag, even if the world of canon is different from our own. If you're removing those differences by putting fantasy or superhero characters in a world without magic or supersoldier serum, you might want the “Alternate Universe - No Powers” tag instead.

Some of the most fun descriptive tags are trope tags. This includes things like “Mutual Pining,” “Bed Sharing” for when your OTP gets to their hotel room to find There Was Only One Bed, “Fake Dating,” “Angst,” Fluff,” “Hurt/Comfort” and all its variants.  Readers love tropes at least as much as we love writing them and want to be able to find their favorites. Everyone also has tropes they don't like and would rather avoid. Tagging them allows your fic to be filtered in and out by what major tropes you've used.

Explicit fics, and sometimes fics with less restrictive ratings, that contain sex usually have tags indicating details about the nature of the sexual encounter(s) portrayed and what sex acts are depicted. These are descriptive tags, but they also do double duty as courtesy tags. This is very much a situation in which tags are a consent mechanism; by thoroughly and clearly tagging your smut you are giving readers the chance to knowingly opt in or out of the experience you've written.

Most of the time, it's pretty easy to do basic tagging for sex acts—you know whether what you wrote shows Vaginal Sex, Anal Sex, or Non-penetrative Sex.  You probably know the names for different kinds of Oral Sex you may have included. You might not know what to call Frottage or Intercrural Sex, though, even if you understand the concept and included the act in your fic. Sometimes there are tags with rectangle-square type relationships (all Blow Jobs are Oral Sex, but not all Oral Sex is a Blow Job) and you're not sure if you should tag for both—you probably should. Sometimes there are tags for overlapping, closely related, or very similar acts or kinks and you're not sure which to tag—that one's more of judgement call; do your best to use the tags that most closely describe what you wrote.

Tag for the kinks at play, if any, so readers can find what they're into and avoid what they're not. Tag for what genitalia characters have if it's nonobvious, including if there's Non-Human Genitalia involved. Tag your A/B/O, your Pon Farr, and your Tentacles, including whether it's Consentacles or Tentacle Rape.

Technical specification tags give information about aspects of the fic other than its narrative content.  Most things on Ao3 are prose fiction so that's assumed to be the default, so anything else needs to be specified in tags. That includes Poetry, Podfics, things in Script Format, and Art. If it is a podfic, you should tag with the approximate length in minutes (or hours). If a fic is Illustrated (it has both words and visual art) tag for that.

Tag if your fic is a crossover or fusion.  The difference, if you're not sure, is that in a crossover, two (or more) entire worlds from different media meet, whereas in a fusion, some aspects of one world, like the cast of characters, are combined with aspects of another, like the setting or magic system.

If the team of paranormal investigators from one show get in contact with the cast of aliens from another show, that's a crossover and you need to have all the media you're drawing from up in the Fandom tags. If you've given the cast of Hamlet physical manifestations of their souls in the form of animal companions like the daemons from His Dark Materials but nothing else from His Dark Materials shows up, that's a fusion, the Fandom tag should be “Hamlet - Shakespeare,” and you need the “Alternate Universe - Daemons” tag. If you've given the members of a boy band elemental magic powers like in Avatar: the Last Airbender, that can be more of a judgement call depending how much from Avatar you've incorporated into your story. If absolutely no characters or specific settings from Avatar show up, it's probably a fusion.  Either way, if the boyband exists in real life, it needs to be tagged as RPF.

Tag if your fic is a Reader-Insert or Self-Insert.

You might want to tag for whether your fic is written with POV First, Second, or Third Person, and if it's Past Tense or Present Tense (or Future Tense, though that's extremely uncommon).  For POV First Person fics that are not self-inserts, or POV Third Person fics that are written in third person limited, you may want to tag which character's POV is being shown. Almost all POV Second Person fics are reader-insert, so if you've written one that isn't, you should tag for who the “you” is.

A fic is “POV Outsider” if the character through whom the story is being conveyed is outside the situation or not familiar with the characters and context a reader would generally know from canon. The waitress who doesn't know the guy who just sat down in her diner is a monster hunter, and the guy stuck in spaceport because some hotshot captain accidentally locked down the entire space station, are both potential narrators for POV Outsider stories.

Other technical specifications can be tags for things like OCtober and Kinktober or fic bingo games.  Tagging something as a Ficlet, One Shot, or Drabble is a technical specification (we're not going to argue right now over what counts as a drabble). Tagging for genre, like Horror or Fantasy, is too.

It's also good to tag accessibility considerations like “Sreenreader Friendly,” but make sure your fic definitely meets the needs of a given kind of accessibility before tagging it.

Personal

Even among personal tags there are established tags!  Things like “I'm Sorry,” “The Author Regrets Nothing,” “The Author Regrets Everything,” and “I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping” are common ones.  Tags about us and our relationship to the fic, such as “My First Work In This Fandom,” “Author is Not Religious,” and “Trans Porn By A Trans Author,” can help readers gauge what to expect from our fic. Of course, you are not at all obligated to disclose any personal information for any reason when posting your fic.

The “I'm Bad At Tagging” tag is common, but probably overused. Tagging is hard; very few of us have a natural feel for it even with lots of practice.  It's not a completely useless tag because it can indicate to readers that you've probably missed some things you should have tagged for, so they should be extra careful; but it can also turn into a crutch, an excuse to not try, and therefore a sign to readers they can't trust your tagging job. Just do your best, and leave off the self depreciation. If you're really concerned about the quality of your tagging, consider putting in an author's note asking readers to let you know if there are any tags you should add.

You might want to let readers know your fic is “Not Beta Read” or, if you're feeling a little cheekier than that, say “No Beta We Die Like Men” or its many fandom-specific variants like the “No Beta We Die Like Robins” frequently found among Batman fics and “No beta we die like Sunset Curve” among Julie and The Phantoms fic. Don't worry, the Archive recognizes all of these as meaning “Not Beta Read.”

The Archive can be inconsistent about whether it stacks specific variants of Additional Tags under the broadest version of the tag like it does with Fandom tags, so best practice is usually to use both.  You can double check by trying to search by a variant tag (or clicking on someone else's use of the variant); if the results page says the broader or more common form of the tag, those stack.

There's no such thing as the right number of tags. Some people prefer more tags and more detail, while other people prefer fewer more streamlined tags, and different fics have different things that need to be tagged for.  There is, however, such a thing as too many tags.  A tagblock that takes up the entire screen, or more, can be unreadable, at which point they are no longer useful. Focus on the main points and don't try to tag for absolutely everything.  Use the “Additional Warnings In Author's Note” strategy if your courtesy tags are what's getting out of hand.

Tag for as much as you feel is necessary for readers to find your fic and understand what they're getting into if they decide to open it up.

A little bit of redundancy in tags is not a sin.  In fact, slight redundancy is usually preferable to vagueness. Clear communication in tags is a cardinal virtue. Remember that tags serve a purpose, they're primarily a tool for sorting and filtering, and (unlike on some other sites like tumblr) they work, so it's best to keep them informative and try to limit rambling in the tags. Ramble at length in your author's notes instead!

Titles

Picking a title can be one of the most daunting and frustrating parts of posting a fic. Sometimes we just know what to call our fics and it's a beautiful moment. Other times we stare at that little input box for what feels like an eternity.

The good news is there's really no wrong way to select a title. Titles can be long or short, poetic or straight to the point. Song lyrics, idioms, quotes from literature or from the fic itself can be good ways to go.

Single words or phrases with meanings that are representative of the fic can be great. A lot of times these are well known terms or are easy enough to figure out like Midnight or Morning Glow, but if you find yourself using something that not a lot of people know what it means, like Chiaroscuro (an art style that uses heavy shadow and strong contrast between light and dark), Kintsukuroi (the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold), or Clusivity (the grammatical term for differences in who is or isn't included in a group pronoun), you should define the term in either a subtitle, i.e. “Chiaroscuro: A Study In Contrast,” or at the beginning of the summary.

As a courtesy to other writers, especially in small fandoms, you may want to check to make sure there's not already another fic with the same title in the same fandom, but this is not required. In large fandoms, there's no point in even trying. After all, there are only so many puns to be made about the full moon and only so many verses to Hallelujah.

It may be common practice on other platforms to include information such as fandom or ship in the title of a fic, but on Ao3 nothing that is specified by tags belongs in the title unless your title happens to be the same as a tag because, for instance, you've straightforwardly titled your character study of Dean Winchester “Dean Winchester Character Study” and also responsibly tagged it as such.

Summaries

Yes, you really do need to put something down for the summary. It might only need to be a single sentence, but give the readers something to go off of.

The summary is there to serve two purposes: one, to catch the interest of potential readers, give them a taste of what's inside, and make them want to know more; and two, to give you a space to provide information or make comments that don't really fit in the tags but that you want readers to see before they open the fic.

We've already talked some about that second function. When you put an explanation of the title or clarification about tags in the summary, that's the purpose it's serving. You can also put notes to “Heed the tags” or instruct readers that there are additional warnings in the author's note here in the summary, rather than doing so in the tags.

The first function, the actual summarizing, can be very hard for some of us.  It's basically the movie trailer for your fic, butwhat are you even supposed to say?

There are two main strategies as to how to approach this: the blurb, and the excerpt. Blurbs are like the synopses you at least used to see on the backs of published books, or the “Storyline” section on an IMDb page. Writing one is a matter of telling your readers who does what, under what circumstances.

Depending on the fic, one sentence can capture the whole thing: “Sam and Alex have sex on a train.” “Tori tries to rob a bank.” “If anybody had mentioned Max's new house was haunted, Jamie wouldn't have agreed to help with the move.”

Sometimes a blurb can be a question! “What happens when you lock a nuclear engineer in a closet with a sewing kit, a tennis ball, and half a bottle of Sprite?”

Of course, plenty of blurbs are more than one sentence. Their length can vary pretty significantly depending on the type and length of fic you're working with and how much detail you're trying to convey, but it shouldn't get to be more than a few short paragraphs. You're not retelling the entire fic here.

An excerpt is a portion of the fic copied out to serve as the summary. This, too, can vary in length from a line or two to several paragraphs, but shouldn't get too long. It should not be an entire scene unless that scene happens to be uncommonly short. It's important to select a portion of the fic that both indicates the who, what, and under what circumstances of the fic and is representative of the overall tone. Excerpts that are nothing but dialogue with no indication of who's talking are almost never a good choice. Portions that are sexually explicit or extremely violent are never ever a good choice—if it deserves content warnings, it belongs inside the fic, not on the results page.

Counterintuitively, some of the best excerpts won't even look like an excerpt to the reader if they don't contain dialogue. They seem like particularly literary blurbs until the reader reaches that part in the fic and realizes they recognize a section of narration.

Some of us have very strong preferences as to whether we write blurbs or use excerpts for our summaries. Some readers have very strong preferences as to which they find useful. Ultimately, there's no accounting for taste, but there are things we can do to limit the frustration for readers who prefer summaries of the opposite kind than we prefer to write, without increasing our own frustration or work load very much. Part of that is understanding what readers dislike about each type so we know what to mitigate.

Blurbs can seem dry, academic, and overly simplified. They don't automatically give the reader a sense of your writing style the way an excerpt does. They can also seem redundant, like they're just rehashing information already given in the tags, so the reader feels like they're being denied any more information without opening the fic.

Excerpts can seem lazy, like you, the author, don't care enough to bother writing a blurb, or pushy like you're telling the reader “just read the fic; I'm not going to give you the information you need to decide if you want to read or not, I'm shoving it in front of you and you just have to read it.” That effect gets worse if your tags aren't very informative or clear about what the plot is, if the excerpt is obviously just the first few lines or paragraphs of the fic, if the except is particularly long, or, worst of all, if all three are true at once.

A lot of the potential problems with blurbs can be minimized by having fun writing them! Make it punchy, give it some character, treat it like part of the story, not just a book report. A fic for a serialized show or podcast, for instance, could have a blurb written in the style of the show's “previously on” or the podcast's intro.  Make sure the blurb gives the reader something they can't just get from the tags—like the personality of your writing, important context or characterization, or a sense of the shape of the story—but don't try to skimp on the tags to do it!

Really, the only way to minimize the potential problems with excerpts is to be very mindful in selecting them. Make sure the portion you've chosen conveys the who, what, and under what circumstances and isn't too long.  You know the story; what seems clear and obvious from the excerpt to you might not be apparent to someone who doesn't already know what happens, so you might need to ask a friend to double check you.

The absolute best way to provide a summary that works for everybody is to combine both methods. It really isn't that hard to stick a brief excerpt before your blurb, or tack a couple lines of blurb after your excerpt, but it can make a world of difference for how useful and inviting your summary is to a particular reader. The convention for summaries that use both is excerpt first, then blurb.

If you're struggling to figure out a summary, or have been in the habit of not providing one, try not to stress over it. Anything is better than nothing.  As long as you've written something for a summary, you've given the reader a little more to help them make their decision. What really isn't helpful, though, is saying “I'm bad at summaries” in your summary. It's a lot like the “I'm Bad At Tagging” tag in that it's unnecessarily self depreciating, frequently comes across as an excuse not to try, and sometimes really is just an excuse. Unlike the “I'm Bad At Tagging” tag, which has the tiny saving grace of warning readers you've probably missed something, saying you're bad at summaries has no utility at all, and may drive away a reader who thought your summary was quite good, but is uncomfortable with the negative attitude reflected by that statement. Summaries are hard. It's okay if you don't like your summary, but it's important for it to be there, and it's important to be kind to yourself about it. You're trying, that's what matters.

Author's Notes

Author's notes are the one place where we, the writers, directly address and initiate contact with our readers. We may also talk to them in the comments section, but that's different because they initiate that interaction while we reply, and comments are mostly one-on-one while in author's notes we're addressing everyone who ever reads our fic.

The very first note on a fic should contain any information, such as warnings or explanations, that a reader needs to see before they get to the body of the story, as well as anything like thanks to your beta, birthday wishes to a character, or general hellos and announcements you want readers to see before they get to the body of the story. On multi-chapter fics, notes at the beginning of chapters serve the same function for that chapter as the initial note on the fic does for the whole story, so you can do things like warn for Self-Harm on the two chapters out of thirty where it comes up, let everyone know your update schedule will be changing, or wish your readers a merry Christmas, if they celebrate it, on the chapter you posted on December 23rd but is set in mid-March.

Notes at the end of a fic or chapter are for things that don't need to be said or are not useful to a reader until after they've read the preceding content, such as translations for that handful of dialogue that's in Vulcan or Portuguese, or any parting greetings or announcements you want to give, like a thanks for reading or a reminder school is starting back so you won't be able to write as much. End notes are the best place to plug your social media to readers if you're inclined to do so, but remember that cannot include payment platforms like Patreon or Ko-fi.

As previously mentioned, warnings can go in end notes but that really should only be done when the warnings are particularly long, such that the length might cause a problem for readers who are already confident in their comfort level and would just want to scroll past the warning description. In that case, the additional warnings need to go in the note at the end of the first chapter, rather than at the end of the fic, if it's a multi-chapter fic; and you need to include an initial note telling readers that warnings/explanations of tags are at the bottom so they know to follow where the Archive tells them to see the end of the chapter/work for “more notes.”

When posting a new work, where the Preface section gives you the option to add notes “at the beginning” or “at the end” or both, if you check both boxes, it means notes at the beginning and end of the entire fic, not the beginning and end of the first chapter. For single-chapter fics this difference doesn't really matter, but for multi-chapter fics it matters a lot. In order to add notes to the beginning or end of the first chapter of a multi-chapter fic you have to first go through the entire process to post the new fic, then go in to Edit, Edit Chapter, and add the notes there.

Series and Chapters

Dealing with Series and Chapters is actually two different issues, but they're closely related and cause some of us mixups, especially when we're new to the site and its systems, so we're going to cover them together.

Series on Ao3 are for collecting up different stories that you've written that are associated with each other in some way. Chapters are for dividing up one story into parts, usually for pacing and to give yourself and your readers a chance to take breaks and breathe, rather than trying to get through the entire thing in a single marathon sitting (not that we won't still do that voluntarily, but it's nice to have rest points built in if we need them).

If your story would be one book if it was officially published, then it should be posted as a single fic—with multiple chapters if it's long or has more than one distinct part, like separate vignettes that all go together. If you later write a sequel to that fic, post it as a new fic and put them together in a series. It's exactly like chapters in a book and books in a series. Another way to think of this structure is like a TV show: different fics in the series are like different seasons of the show, with individual chapters being like episodes.

If you have several fics that all take place in the same AU but really aren't the same story those should go together as a series.  If you wrote a story about a superhero team re-cast as school teachers, then wrote another story about different characters in the same school, that's this situation.

Series are also the best way to handle things like prompt games, bingos, or Kinktober, or collect up one shots and drabbles especially if your various fills, entries, and drabbles are for more than one fandom. If you put everything for a prompt game or bingo, or all your drabbles, together as one fic with a different chapter for each story, what ends up happening is that fic gets recognized by the Archive as a crossover when it isn't, so it gets excluded from the results pages for everyone who told the filters to Exclude Crossovers even though one of the stories you wrote is exactly what they're looking for; and that fic ends up with tons and tons of wildly varying and self-contradictory tags because it's actually carrying the tags for several entirely different, possibly unrelated stories, which also means it ends up getting excluded from results pages because, for instance, one out of your thirty-one Kinktober entries is about someone's NoTP.

Dividing these kinds of things up into multiple fic in a series makes it so much easier for readers to find what of your work they actually want to read.

If you've previously posted such things as a single fic, don't worry, it's a really common misunderstanding and there is absolutely nothing stopping you from reposting them separately. You may see traffic on them go up if you do!

Parting Thoughts

Metatext is ultimately all about communication, and in this context effective communication is a matter of responsibility and balance.

Ao3 is our archive. It's designed for us, the writers, to have the freedom to write and share whatever stories we want without having to worry that we'll wake up one day and find our writing has been deleted overnight without warning.  That has happened too many times to so many in our community as other fanfic sites have died, been shut down, or caved to threats of legal action. Ao3 is dedicated to defending our legal right to create and share our stories. Part of the deal is that, in exchange for that freedom and protection, we take up the responsibility to communicate to readers what we're writing and who it's appropriate for.

We are each other's readers, and readers who don't write are still part of our community. We have a responsibility as members of this community to be respectful of others in our shared spaces.  Ao3 is a shared space. The best way we have to show each other respect is to give one another the information needed to decide if a given fic is something we want to engage with or not, and then, in turn, to not engage with fic that isn't our cup of tea. As long as our fellow writer has been clear about what their fic is, they've done their part of the job. If we decided to look at the fic despite the information given and didn't like what we found, then that's on us.

Because metatext is how we put that vital information about our fics out in the community, it's important that our metatext is clear and easy to parse. The key to that is balance. Striking the balance between putting enough tags to give a complete picture and not putting too many tags that become an unreadable wall; the balance between the urge to be thorough and tag every character and the need to be restrained so those looking for fics actually about a certain character can find them; the balance between using established tags for clarity and ease and making up our own tags for specificity and fun.

Do your best, act in good faith, remember you're communicating with other people behind those usernames and kudos, and, most importantly, have fun with your writing!

[dazed-poltergeist]

Done

"Muscle Contraction - A Story"

Pairing: None. The Myosin and Actin Filaments' linkage doesn't count.

Genre (Using the word 'Fandom' sounds really weird for this context): Homework for my Anatomy & Physiology class

Summary: A description of how the brain's movement impulse moves through a muscle, how the muscle (or parts of it) respond, and what happens when the brain doesn't want a contraction to happen anymore.

Warning: A bundle of anatomical terms related to muscle fibers.

Add. Notes: Excessive capitalization was used with the intention of using body parts and other biological items/nomenclature as locations, names, and titles.

>✉️<

{ It's been quite a while since I posted any fanfics. While I've had intentions to write some fics and got plenty of ideas, I typically just write down some fraction of a fanfic in relation to a given idea and then leave it. In this case I wasn't able to leave the potential piece to collect dust in Google Docs, though-- my grade depends on it, so I wrote it. My birthday is at the end of the month, which I'm looking forward to, but I don't really know/have any good ideas on how I should celebrate it. Also: Happy early Thanksgiving, I suppose? }

-Simon, November 2024

__

The Brain felt the immediate need to make a movement within the body with a very specific muscle. Since the Brain never did anything on its own, it had to send a message to the House of the Muscle System, one of the most powerful in the world of the Human Body.

The Brain formed his request, and sent a nerve impulse with haste into the neurons to deliver it.

The Nerve Impulse didn’t go the whole way as a nerve impulse. By the time it had navigated the motor neuron and its axons and began traveling across the synaptic gap, it took the form of Acetylcholine, a common Neurotransmitter found in all sorts of places.

The Acetylcholine reached its destination in the Receptors, a harbor of proteins designated for its kind. From that point, the Acetylcholine converted his impulse into a muscle impulse, which made the journey further into the Muscle Fiber easier.

The Muscle Impulse made its way to the sarcoplasmic reticulum, where its message was, in another form, carried on by the Sarcoplasmic Reticulum’s calcium ions. These Calcium Ions were from the sarcoplasmic reticulum’s personal arsenal, and were ready to fulfill its will.

Just before reaching the Sarcoplasmic Reticulum, the Muscle Impulse was spotted by the guards of the Cisternae. As a response, the Cisternae opened the way for the Calcium Ions, who regularly passed through whenever a Muscle Impulse came around. 

Just as predicted, a wave of Calcium Ions swiftly went through the Cisternae and into the Sarcoplasm of the Muscle Fiber realm.

The Calcium Ions had gone a long way and finally reached the ending point, the final destination, of the Brain’s message. The Ions made their final push to get to Troponin, the Ions’ recipient, and binded to the molecule.

Watching from the side, the Tropomyosin got to work. As it was attached to the Actin Filament, it turned the said Filament inside-out and exposed the Actin sites to its partner, the Myosin Filament.

There the final stage of the Brain’s will began.

With this given window of opportunity, the Actin and Myosin Filaments bound together, triggering a chain of linkages in every Actin and Myosin Filament in the muscle, resulting in a muscle contraction. The need of the Brain had been carried out.

The whole ordeal would occur again and again, and each time every component of the Contraction, from the Nerve Impulse all the way to the Filaments, carried out their duty loyally and without question.

But, eventually, the Brain’s itch for movement had been satiated, and the requested movement needed to stop. The process of stopping wasn’t simply the reverse of contraction, however.

Once the Brain dictates that the muscle shall relax, the nerve impulses stop coming, and the ones within the Synaptic Gap under the guise of Acetylcholine are disposed of- by the hand of Acetylcholinesterase, who is specifically tasked with getting rid of the Acetylcholine that remains. 

With the lack of updates from the Sarcoplasmic Reticulum, the Calcium Ions withdrew from the Sarcoplasm and returned to their place within the said Reticulum.

Now that Myosin-Actin linkages were also excessive, they needed to be separated one more, and with force. This job was done by an important figure with the name Adenosine Triphosphate, or “ATP,” as it was frequently called by others. The severing of Filament ties fortunately didn’t sever the ATP itself.

Eventually though, ATP crumbled into Adenosine Diphosphate, a shell of its former self that could be renewed with the help of Creatine Phosphate. The severing of ATP caused the crossbridges, or the link-maker of the Filaments, to detach from Actin and its binding sites.

Since there were no more Calcium Ions and a lack of linkages holding them back, Troponin and Tropomyosin undid their reaction and reverted the Actin Filament back to its double helix-like shape.

What remained was a perfectly fine muscle fiber that was in the same state as before, if not a bit more exerted, that was prepared to begin contracting once more at the Brain’s request.

___

I will be printing out the writing and turning it in to my teacher in-person. I can only pray to whatever divine beings exist that the teacher won't read it out loud, pass it to other students to read, or give it to other staff members to see.

If you know the irl person who wrote this (unlikely, but still a possibility), no you don't.

I'm making a short story out of the process of muscle contraction for my anatomy class

This is one easy af assignment and I didn't expect my teacher to assign anything like that, but this is probably a calm before the storm-- the storm being the group/class assignment of having to make a model of muscle contraction with all the actin and myosin filament stuff and probably having to make it moveable somehow to indicate contraction and relaxation

Anyways I'll probably post the story on here once I'm actually done writing it

[fatelesschild]

Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology 10: The Immune System

A worryingly comprehensive and extremely unofficial guide to Gallifreyan and Time Lord/Lady Anatomy and Physiology, constructed with love and sweat.

This is a project that attempts to draw together everything we know about gallifreyan anatomy from every source available to place it in a valid biological system, like some Grey’s Anatomy textbook you didn’t know you needed.

The author of this has no affiliation with the BBC, and owns nothing but this lovely chocolate bar and good intentions. Nothing in this guide should be taken as de facto and everything should be free to be challenged and changed. I welcome any comments, questions, points of interest, or corrections - just aim at my inbox.

Absolutely nothing in this guide constitutes professional medical advice. Always seek your human advice from a healthcare provider, and always seek your gallifreyan advice from a hospitaller on Gallifrey.

This is version 1.10.x See the main document or Tumblr masterpost for the latest version.

x Tumblr Masterpost

x Main document with sources (Google Docs, not optimised for mobiles)

x Tumblr tag page with Q+As etc.

x Glossary

The Immune System

AKA They say doctors make the worst patients. Luckily, this Doctor has quite a few tricks up his sleeve so when the Daleks arrive he’s not worried about his cold or his ‘hurty’ toe.

Contains:

Context & Anatomy

Structure

Defence & Response - Innate immune response, Adaptive immune response

Vulnerabilities - Illnesses, Immunodeficiencies and Autoimmune Disorders, Allergies

Healing - Normal healing, Healing coma, Other helpers

Sex, Age & Regeneration

Summary

Key: [External link] [Guide link] [Glossary link]

11.1 Context & Anatomy

The immune system is, unsurprisingly, very, very good and is far more streamlined than a human.

It comprises the lymphatic system (with lymph vessels and lymph nodes), the spleen, the thymus, and the kidney, with minor players the tonsils and adenoids.

It has the same goal as humans - don’t let the nasties kill you!

Please remember throughout as because Timegri have a far higher baseline of artron, their immune response and healing abilities are significantly better than normal gallifreyans.

11.2 Structure

The Immune System can be extremely complicated and needs some explaining, so this is a simplified version while still trying to be as detailed as possible. Grab a drink and get ready to concentrate!

It’s a little bit easier to imagine the immune system as an army. Picture the universe as a very hostile place, with the gallifreyan body as a lonely world under constant threat of invasion. The other countries represent different body systems and the army’s number one objective is to stop the planet being invaded.

The lymphatic system is the world map, because you need some roads (lymph vessels) to get around and some checkpoints (lymph nodes) to check people’s documentation as they pass through. Not only do you need these main roads, there’s also lots of bridges leading to other countries to cover the entire world.

The buildings

So there’s the terrain, so what about the buildings? First you need some key structures so you can store troops, ammunition, and maintain communication with each other and contact the brain HQ.

The spleen is the recruitment centre and barracks, because you need somewhere to recruit and train your troops. The gallifreyan spleen creates immune cells and trains them while they wait for the call to fight off an invader. While there, it’s ensured that they have all the latest equipment, training, and intelligence. 

Every good army needs a load of nerds and maintenance services, so the gallifreyan thymus is the administrative and maintenance buildings. It manufactures lymph fluid (opici fluid) and makes sure all the lymph vessels are clean and free from obstructions and filled with defensive patrols (D-cells).

Not actually part of the human Immune System, the kidney is a kind of supply/weapon/provisions provider in gallifreyans. It’s the main producer of artron, which is the energy used by the immune system to manufacture immune cells. Artron is present in all systems (particularly cardiovascular), and provides multiple healing benefits we’ll be going through below.

Finally, there’s the transport, known as opici fluid. This is the equivalent of lymph fluid; it circulates through the lymphatic vessels carrying all the troops around the body. It’s also in the nervous system in the place of what we would call our cerebrospinal fluid. In a thicker form - mixed with collagen - it’s also present in the integumentary and skeletal systems as a form of protection.

The personnel

Next, you need some personnel to fight against the invaders, from high command, through specialists, tacticians, medics, sappers, and ground troops.

The brain, the top brass: The Field Marshall, the five-star General, the toppermost of the poppermost, whatever your preference, the brain is constantly receiving communication from the immune system. It's through this it considers the state of the world and issues orders to its troops.

D-cells, the patrol/sentries: Their mission is to locate any potential enemy. If they find something unusual, they’ll alert the rest of the system immediately. They’re similar to human lymphocyte and mast cells, and have two distinct types:

D1-cells are the patrol. They constantly circulate the lymphatic system looking for anything they don’t recognise.

D2-cells are the sentries. These stand guard against attack, stationed strategically throughout the body.

Z-cells, the front line soldiers: Their mission is to kill the pathogen at any cost. They’re a mix of human phagocytes (macrophages and neutrophils), white blood cells, B lymphocytes and effector cells, and natural killer cells.

Z1-cells are infantry soldiers and non-specialised. They patrol the body and are always the first on the scene when a D-cell calls out for help. Z1-cells eat up anything they find suspicious (including infected gallifreyan cells) and keep doing it over and over. They can be killed, however, whether through age or the strength of a pathogen, and their bloody remains are what pus is made from. So if your gallifreyan starts producing pus, then their immune system is having quite a fight.

Z2-cells are specialised soldiers. They’re trained to change their type of attack to deal with one particular type of enemy, making them extremely effective killers. They have the best weapons and best tactics, able to destroy pathogens on sight as they can be absolutely packed with specific antibodies they fire out like machine guns for days on end. What antibodies they use is dictated by the M1-cells. 

ZX-cells are the berserkers. Only called upon in the direst of situations when Z1-and Z2-cells have failed their mission, they run in screaming and shouting and firing all their guns simultaneously hoping to try and kill the enemy as a Last Stand, but they’re liable to kill their own comrades in friendly fire.

M-cells, the tacticians: Their mission is to learn as much about the enemy as possible in order to use that intelligence against it in the future. They can be equated to memory cells in humans.

M1-cells are the intelligence officers. Every single one has access to the entire known database of pathogens (imagine it like a Wikipedia of the body’s known immunities). On arriving at the infection site, they can identify a certain type of pathogen by being able to recognise its unique antigens. Once they know what they’re looking at, they tell the Z2-cells to manufacture antibodies specific to that pathogen and attack.

M2-cells are the spies. Looking to collect as much information about the enemy as possible, they take it back to the spleen to improve training and expand the database.

Artron cells, the field medics and sappers: They’re a little harder to put into our army metaphor simply because they tend to do their own thing. They work around the main immune cells, helping where they can. They want to:

Stop the fires (by clotting the wound)

Clean up the bodies (by removing dead cells) 

Rebuild the physical defences (by healing the wound) 

Recruit for the army (by helping to replace dead immune cells)

11.3 Defence & Response

Any attempt of a pathogen to enter a gallifreyan will be met with the same immune response pathway, whether it's a virus, bacteria, fungi, parasite etc., and through this there are two lines of defence the pathogen will encounter - the innate response and the adaptive response.

11.3.1 Innate Immune Response

The innate immune response is the first line of defence. Pretty much anything that does some work to try and stop infection without actually knowing exactly what it’s looking at is part of the innate system, and most of it is present from birth. It can be broken down three ways: physical barriers, defence mechanisms, and general immune response.

The innate immune system is non-specific. Non-specific means defences that aren’t explicitly recognising pathogens for what they actually are; they’re just coming across cells that look a bit strange and are deciding to get rid of them.

1: Physical barriers

Skin, body hair, eyelashes etc. all help to defend against pathogens trying to enter the body, by being actual physical barriers. I know you absolutely read and memorised these systems of course, but here's a convenient reminder that gallifreyans have very tough skin and weather-resistant hair, for starters. These, and more, make it much more difficult for gallifreyans to become ill in the first place.

2: Defence mechanisms 

Tears, mucus, sweat etc., this also includes special gallifreyan abilities like stomach filtration, blood filtration etc. and also sealing (see below), all of which are designed to sweep out pathogens ASAP.

Sealing

A special ability for gallifreyans is known as sealing. This defence mechanism involves the overproduction of mucus from every orifice (including nose, ears, and eyeballs) to oust pathogens and create a non-porous barrier, which prevents any intrusion on a molecular level. This is especially useful in hostile atmospheres, but also prevents essentials such as oxygen, so cannot be used for longer than the respiratory bypass system can stay activated.

The Rusty Nail (part 1)

So let’s say your gallifreyan is walking along minding their own business when they suddenly trip and impale their hand onto a dirty nail. What happens next?

3: General immune response 

This is the initial immune system response, including inflammation and basic immune defences. D-cells alert the immune system to the intruder and release histamine, which causes inflammation in the area. Z1-cells and artron cells respond to the call for help.

The Rusty Nail (part 2+3)

11.3.2 Adaptive Immune Response

If the first line of defence above fails, the second line of defence is called on like a SWAT team. In humans it's usually split into two responses (humoral and cell-mediated) but in gallifreyans these responses are merged into one, and instead we are looking at two stages:

Stage 1: Initial Adaptive Response 

This is the adaptive system’s targeted reaction to the pathogen.

The immune system receives the call for backup from the D-cells.

M1-cells, M2-cells, and Z2-cells flood the area with additional support from more artron.

M1-cells identify the enemy or its closest match and instruct Z2-cells what antibodies to use.

Z2-cells fire out antibodies as the remaining Z1-cells give support. M2-cells hang back and record what happens to improve the immune system’s knowledge on this pathogen.

Hopefully, that’s that!

The Rusty Nail (part 4)

Stage 2: Immunocataclysm

If that didn’t work, we’re now in dire straits. All the Z1-cells are dead and the rest of the Immune System can’t produce enough Z2-cells to fight the tide. The gallifreyan is incredibly ill. Here, the immune system decides that in order to survive, it’s willing to take a massive risk in the form of ZX-cells. ZX-cells are extremely effective but an incredible liability, as their weapons are so powerful they can accidentally kill friendly cells in the gallifreyan’s body. By the end of this stage, the gallifreyan will be dead or alive.

The Rusty Nail (part 5)

Immunity

The adaptive immune system is ‘specific’ in contrast to the innate system,  meaning it knows what it’s looking for and it's very good at killing it, but does need to see a pathogen and recognise it as a threat before it can do this. Once it’s encountered the pathogen, it will remember it forever and know how to deal with it when it comes again. This is immunity.

Immunity can some from several sources - Gallifreyans can develop antibodies after being exposed to certain diseases, allowing them to resist these diseases in the future. These primarily come in the form of actually encountering the pathogen organically, by vaccine, or passively. 

Passive immunity gained from others - for example, as mentioned in the cardiovascular system, a blood transfer from a gallifreyan can contain antibodies which the receiver can learn from and use to fight pathogens (just be careful who you give it to). Additionally, every new gallifreyan coming into the universe arrives with a pretty decent preloaded database of antibodies that the immune system already knows, which have been learnt through their mother (for womb-born) or put in their biodata (for loom-born). Many of these antibodies are retained until they reach First Maturation.

Their immune system doesn’t need much exposure to create the right antibodies, but it does take some time to make them.

11.4 Vulnerabilities

Okay, so despite all of the defences outlined above, your gallifreyan becomes ‘under the weather’, as my mum says. So what are they likely to catch? Well …

11.4.1 Illnesses

As outlined above and across this document, gallifreyans are pretty good with most known illnesses, however, they are able to catch some diseases particularly familiar to us, such as the common cold, pneumonia, and tonsillitis, however, they are quite rare and for the most part they’ll handle these a lot better than us, and heal faster.

However, there are far worse diseases out there for them. Here’s a few of the other diseases bouncing around the universe that could ravage your gallifreyan.

“The Ablative”

Abridgement syndrome

Biodata viruses

The Cheetah Virus

Chen-7 or One Day Plague

Dogma Virus

Light wave sickness

Mutagenic viruses

Radiation poisoning

Sentient viruses

Spectrox toxaemia

Temporal diseases

All of these are pretty nasty and I’d encourage further reading if you're so inclined. Some will be covered in more detail in the regenerative system section (link to be added).

11.4.2 Immunodeficiencies and Autoimmune Disorders 

These are very dangerous as they cause the immune system to be suppressed or stop working completely and come in several forms:

Primary immune deficiency - conditions present from birth eg. severe combined immunodeficiency (SCID)

Acquired immune deficiency - conditions that weaken the immune system eg. chemotherapy

Overactive immune disorders - where the immune system over responds to usually harmless substances eg. asthma

Autoimmune disorders - where the immune system attacks healthy tissue eg. Type 1 diabetes

Gallifreyans have slightly different types of immune cells so they’re not going to be affected by these, at least, not in the form we know. For example, one of the most well known is the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), a precursor to acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS). Gallifreyans can’t contract HIV as HIV attacks cells they don’t actually have, but there could easily be an equivalent especially for them which attacks the M1-cells, so the Z2-cells have no idea what antibodies to produce to attack the pathogen, but that’s all theoretical.

In summary, gallifreyans can have immunodeficiencies and autoimmune disorders, but they can never be quite what we understand them as and I look forward to seeing any creative interpretations!

11.4.3 Allergies

Despite the level of sophistication in the immune system, gallifreyans do have their particular weaknesses, with special shoutouts for both praxis chemicals and aspirin.

Praxis gas

Praxis gas is most commonly used in chemical warfare in Gallifrey’s universe, with uses including performance-enhancing drugs, weapons, and booby traps, among many more delights, I’m sure. 

Gallifreyans are allergic to gases in the praxis range, triggering a reaction akin to acute hypersensitivity pneumonitis. Depending on their level of exposure and how long they go untreated, their symptoms can progress from mild sneezing and coughing, to coma, even resulting in death. 

Treatment and Prognosis

Concerning drugs, it's a bit difficult to say what would be the best option as it's a bit hard to determine what kind of gas praxis is in its most dangerous form, however, it seems to match most up with a nerve agent when used as a weapon, in which case atropine would be the numero uno problem solver with a little help from our old friends corticosteroids for immediate treatment. Supplementary oxygen is always a good avenue to take, and even quercetin (found in most foods, like onions, apples, and yeah you guessed it - celery … and tea!) can help greatly, even in the moderate-severe stages.

Prognosis is pretty good even for the most severe form of this, so long as the gallifreyan gets treatment, a full recovery can be made in 1-3 days. 

Aspirin

Far more of a problem than praxis gases, gallifreyans have a serious issue with this drug. Aspirin is an antiplatelet drug, which means it works to inhibit the clotting of blood by stopping platelets from gathering. In humans this is a great thing in the right place - people use antiplatelet drugs to reduce the risk of clots.

If a gallifreyan takes a standard dose of Aspirin (usual prescription 300–600mg for pain/pyrexia), it primarily causes an instant anaphylactic-like reaction. The gallifreyan's body perceives an immediate threat and floods itself with too many over-responsive chemicals. Put simply, the D-cells shout, ‘OH MY WORD WHAT IS THAT THING EVERYBODY HELP HELP HELP!’, which causes the entire immune system to panic. The gallifreyan can’t control this complete overreaction hormonally, setting off a chain reaction leading to multiple embolisms which reaches peak severity in 3-30 minutes:

Treatment and Prognosis

This can be treated with the usual epinephrine/adrenaline as soon as it can possibly be administered. High-flow oxygen may be required and intravenous fluids, with continued monitoring. They can also counter it with chocolate in the early stages, as chocolate is naturally medicinal for gallifreyans and is particularly effective for aspirin.

It is possible the reaction may be biphasic, meaning after treatment a second attack could occur from 1 hour to 72 hours. Even if not biphasic, full recovery can take up to a week. If the reaction is allowed to continue for too long, they may end up suffering from long-term brain damage through stroke, heart conditions, and ongoing respiratory issues.

If that wasn't enough for you

Due to the severity of this reaction it’s entirely reasonable to assume any haemostatic drugs (drugs affecting bleeding) will cause mild to severe reactions in gallifreyans. Some common drugs prescribed by well-meaning medics to reduce clotting might include clopidogrel, heparin, warfarin, and dalteparin (the latter here we commonly call it the trade name in UK hospitals - Fragmin). Some drugs used to increase clotting (ie. in the event of surgery/major trauma or haemophilia) include thrombin, tranexamic acid, desmopressin, etamsylate, and also vitamin K (AKA don’t eat your greens if you’re gallifreyan).

The gallifreyan would have to eat some aspirin unknowingly in order for all this to occur, but severe reactions can be caused by even touching the filthy stuff. Stay safe, kids.

11.5 Healing

Okay, so that was all very depressing (actually really enthralling for me because I love the immune system but y’know) so here’s the nice section, detailing all the lovely ways a gallifreyan can heal themselves against all these nasty things.

11.5.1 Normal healing

I’ve covered normal healing processes throughout this guide (refer to each section for specifics) so here’s just a quick overview of what happens.

As a basic rule of thumb, gallifreyans heal around 1.5x faster than a human without any intervention. If they start pulling out all their biological tricks, they can drastically improve this. 

Medical treatment: 2x faster

Medical treatment + healing coma: 3.5x faster

Medical treatment + healing coma + Zero Room: 6x faster

This means if a gallifreyan were to severely fracture their leg (which could take a human months to heal) if they used treatment, a healing coma, and the Zero Room constantly, they would probably be partially mobile after 3 days, out of a cast after 7-9 days and be completely healed without a trace in 12 days.

11.5.2 The Healing Coma

Also known as a healing trance, the healing coma is yet another of those quirky gallifreyan tricks. If their illness of physical trauma is severe but non-fatal, there’s an excellent chance that using a healing coma is going to sort them out.

Your gallifreyan is sleeping and not dead

As discussed throughout this entire guide, gallifreyans have very high levels of control over their bodies through being able to manipulate everything from their heartsrate and blood pressure right down to hormones. This allows them to enter a voluntary state of accelerated healing by drastically reducing the demand of other systems to concentrate on powering the immune system through sheer heat. This massive heat boost means that Z2-cells and artron healing cells can be manufactured like absolute lighting.

This will dramatically reduce lifesigns:

Heartsrate will reduce to under 10 beats per minute

Blood pressure will reduce to under 10/5

Temperature will reduce to under 5°C / 41°F

Respiratory rate will be 0

Pupils will not dilate with light

In general, they will not react to verbal prompts, touch, or pain stimuli

Rather unfortunately, to the casual observer this state makes gallifreyans appear dead to the point their lifesigns may not even register on any human medical equipment. It is however extremely effective, increasing the healing rate by around 2.5 times depending on the severity of the injury. While in this state they can’t have any real thoughts, but they will be able to perceive any sensory inputs and can be woken up. However, ripping a gallifreyan out of a healing coma can cause significant injury due to the sudden need to reboot all systems, most notably a neuron implosion, where every single neuron in the brain bursts into extreme activity in a brainstorm, causing a severe headache, fainting, and potential brain damage.

Once awake, they will experience high levels of hunger and thirst as their body has spent the time in the healing coma using glucose and water to manufacture and circulate immune and artron cells.

11.5.3 Other helpers

There are a few substances which can help the immune system produce the cells needed for both combating pathogens and general healing. Already mentioned is chocolate, alongside quercetin in several consumables including celery and tea. The pollen of rosemary flowers is also a peculiar restorative. In addition, there is the lindos hormone. This is what allows a gallifreyan to regrow limbs shortly after regenerating and it's extremely powerful, however, it’ll be discussed more in the Regenerative System (link to be added).

11.6 Sex, Age & Regeneration

11.6.1 Sex

This is sex specific to the immune system. For wider explanations, see the basics main section.

Those with more feminine hormones will have a greater innate and adaptive immune response compared to masculine bodies, as they are able to produce antibodies far quicker in response to pathogens - masculine bodies are more likely to have problems fighting off infection than feminine bodies. However, this also gives feminine bodies predisposition to autoimmune diseases.

11.6.2 Age

This is age specific to the immune system. For wider explanations, see the basics main section.

Young gallifreyans are highly tenacious and resistant to immune attack through their innate and passive immune system. They’re extremely unlikely to become ill, and if they do, it’ll usually be a quick shrug of the shoulders. However, if their mother/biodata had any kind of fault or susceptibility, they will be directly affected by that problem, whether that be through an immunodeficiency condition or problems fighting off the related infection. This will usually correct itself by First Maturation.

Once again I’ll state how getting older is a right old strain on the systems, as I have throughout the guide. In humans, usually the thymus slowly shrinks and turns to fat after puberty, but in gallifreyans it remains active. However, as a gallifreyan gets beyond 900 in a single body:

Less immune cells are produced

Old chronic viral infections can be reactivated

Lower response to vaccines

Innate system is less adept

Repair mechanisms are impeded

Long term health conditions are increased

All of this means older gallifreyans are more susceptible to diseases and can actually suffer from viruses they already fought off in their youth.

11.6.3 Regeneration

This is regeneration specific to the immune system. For wider explanations, see the Regenerative System (link to be added) main section.

Regenerating causes the entire immune system to reset to factory settings, so they have a squeaky clean new combative system. However, it doesn’t get erased - antibodies developed in previous incarnations will persist in subsequent bodies, meaning once a disease has been contracted and fought off by the gallifreyan, they will keep those antibodies and that helpful immune Wikipedia until their final death.

Really important to note here is that immediately following regeneration their immune system will be extremely weak, which will build back up during the following moulding period (6-8 weeks). This window increases their susceptibility to illness, although keep in mind they’re not going to die of a cold.

Gallifreyans can regenerate with primary immune deficiencies, which are likely to persist throughout the rest of that body unless they can be cured. In addition, there are some seriously spicy and, frankly, extremely fun illnesses involved specifically with regeneration, but they’ll be covered in the regenerative system section (link to be added).

11.7 Summary

Their immune system is mostly identifiable to a human but carries plenty more bells and whistles and works far more efficiently.

The kidney’s production of artron is crucial to this system.

They have both innate and adaptive immune responses as the first and second lines of defence.

Alongside particular allergies that can be fatal, they also have their own set of illnesses and immune system disorders.

Healing is much faster than humans and can be accelerated by technology and the healing coma.

Antibodies created in previous incarnations will persist throughout their lifespan.

Rejected evidence: 

Not so much rejected, more ‘pending’ ... because someone didn’t Google properly - trying to get a reasonable and believable embolism out of an antiplatelet drug was hard enough but this was just too much for me to compensate for:

‘Triglycerides in chocolate combat the antiplatelet effect of the aspirin’

Whoever wrote this needs to take a long hard look at themselves:

‘It was said to either fatally stop platelet aggregation …’

Fever’s not a virus on its own, it’s a symptom, and for the life of me I can’t find anything at all on the flu and I have a fear it’s probably a misreading of TV: The Caretaker, so I’m not including it until I can find something concrete.

‘They are vulnerable to some earth viruses, like influenza, fevers [...]

This is literally just putting words together, but this was covered in the cardiovascular blood transfusion section so I’m happy to leave it there.

‘Their antibodies are symbiotic so if a Gallifreyan is injected with a sample of genetically contaminated blood’ …etc.

Curious about something? Need some creative gallifreyan biology-related advice? Wanna say hi? Ask away!