#the amazing food somewhat makes up for working a 19 hour day

[gendercrystal]

PhDay 15: a day in the life of an experimental physicist on beamtime

Our goal is to have some high pressure-high temperature data on our 3 samples by the end of our 3 days here. It's a huge, busy facility and our allotted time is limited so we work round the clock.

08:00am breakfast in hostel shared kitchen 09:00 meet the other 4 and walk to lab, prep sample in the pressure cell that we will heat and shoot with x-rays (the beam) 11:00 demo of setting up vacuum chamber that holds the cell by a beamline scientist as we haven't used this equipment before 12:30 lunch at a cafe a short walk away

14:00 technical difficulties on the beam, we do other work in the control room while the beamline scientists fix it for us 16:15 beam switch on, start a test run and get used to the controls 19:00 walk to restaurant for dinner and decide on a plan of action

21:00 back at the beam, we split up: some of us stay and start collecting data, the others go to bed and will swap with us later *ungodly hours of the night* sit in a room clicking buttons and watching monitors; eat snacks; music (under pressure, hot to go) 03:30am shift changeover 03:50am go back to hostel for sleep

[orphancookie69]

4/2023: Lake Havasu City, AZ!

It is that time of year again, adios california...hello arizona! Taxes are done, let’s unwind and get our farkle on! There might be some Desert Storm action going on too. What is not to love? 

For more information on Desert Storm: Click Here!

4/19 Day 1: 

Woke up early, drove 4 hours in. There were a fair amount of cops out. But we are heading into a somewhat major event in town. Came in by like 10, and chilled out for a bit. Then we went to College Street Brewery and Pub-pretty good. The beer was better than the food, but it is a brewery. There was “Krusin for a Kause” today but we did not get to it, and it did not seem like an event we could of enjoyed as much as the riders in the kruiser. It was a quiet afternoon, we did some yahtzee so that no one could have an advantage in farkle. Leave the dice unbiased. 

4/20 Day 2:

The party day! We woke up, had breakfast at Makai’s, its a cute little joint! Did some local shopping at the Harley Store and found some cute stuff this time! We caught a movie on Netflix, “We Have A Ghost”, and it was pretty good. The street party was way bigger this year. Met up with some friends who have a second place in town like us, but even just the locals are usually nice! It was hard to find a place to eat-but we ate at Legendz in downtown. Came back to the condo and just relaxed, it was a warm day and I got a little bit sunburned. 

4/21 Day 3:

Not much sleep was got these days, so we decided to have breakfast at Makai’s to see if we could feel human after. I showed my sister “Burlesque” on Netflix, she had not seen it! We met back up with friends and watched the Parade of Power, the Poker Run for Desert Storm started after that. The party was still going from the day before, they just moved to the channel and off the streets! We had lunch at Javelinas, a good little mexican place. Dinner was an amazing little italian place called Angelinas. This place you need to call ahead and make a reservation. We played some Farkle, and fell asleep after putting on “Smokey and the Bandit”. Can you believe parts of our group had not seen that either? I also brought up a new game to try: Love is Dead from Aldi, it is super fun! 

4/22 Day 4:

For Desert Storm, the last event was Shugrue’s Shootout, but we missed it. By now, we had some leftovers to work through. We were supposed to get our hair done but our hairdresser/family friend partied too hard with us and needed a rest day. We went to the channel to “put our feet in the water and our ass in the sand”, can you tell we listen to a lot of country music out there? The party in channel had died down a bit but was still pretty active. We came back, played more Farkle. We watched the sequel, “Smokey and the Bandit 2″ on netflix, that was a proper sequel! We had dinner at Azul Agave, one of the best mexican places I have ever eaten at. More Farkle, and finally started getting some sleep! 

4/23 Day 5:

Early day, last full day in town. Things outside in general quieted down as most people who came into town for the event had left that day. We went to Secrets of Beauty to get our hair done! We hung out at the shop with one another, went to the swap meet, had Red Baron for lunch, and helped around the shop! After we were all done, we went to Tavern 95 for dinner. We did a last bit of Farkle and got ready to leave early to drive home. I changed my hairstyle, and I absolutely love it! 

4/24 Day 6:

Early rising, we left around sunrise to avoid what traffic we could. Drive home had a lot of traffic, seems to be a problem that gets worse not better. Made it home in about 4 hours or so. 

It was a good trip. We are already talking about the next trip to take care of a couple of things, do some different things, and depending on who is all going-I will be back out there! Good people, good times, good spiritual talk! Family vacations, they sure are something! 

[fawn-soul]

So I have mental illness that is somewhat severe at times and have since I was 8 years old. Things were at their worst when I was 16-19 years old. I was in and out of therapy, psych wards, residential treatment, on various medications, self- harming and suicidal, I had dropped out of school and for a period of time was practically housebound. I honestly didn’t think I was going to make it to my 20s, and if I did I had no idea what I was going to do. I was so far behind my peers, I hadn’t learned to drive, hadn’t gone to college, never had a job, and all of my friends were online. I was determined to die to end what at that point had been a decade of suffering, lest I end up spending the rest of my life living with my parents, sitting in bed and browsing the internet, wallowing in misery and solitude.

But things slowly started to change by the time I turned 20. It wasn’t a quick change. I remember my boyfriend at the time broke up with me because he didn’t feel it was fair to him to have to be patient while I recovered and learned to be a functional adult. I understood, though it sucked to feel like my progress wasn’t progress in anyone else’s eyes but my own. That the people who didn’t know me as a child in the therapists’ office, or the 13 year old in the hospital because she had just downed a bottle of pills, or the teenager who spent her sweet 16 inpatient in a different country from her family and friends, would just see a lagging, lacking woman child while I was taking some of the biggest steps in my life. And they were the biggest steps of my life. I enrolled in online college classes. I got my driver’s license. I started my first job. In 2018 I graduated with my degree and moved to Orlando (without my parents)! I made a group of friends that I absolutely love, I started dating an amazing guy (going on 2 years!), and I’ve been working nearly full time as a nanny for an awesome family. I do things, fun things, I go to museums and markets and have movie nights with my friends. I’ve tried tons of new foods and I’ve travelled (A cruise to the Bahamas, Nashville for a wedding, Chicago to meet the X-Files cast, Indiana for Christmas, Denver to meet my bf on the Colorado Trail, a road trip to Atlanta with the gang). I’ve gone axe throwing, kayaking, seen Sugar Ray in concert and attended my first hockey game. And soon my boyfriend and I are going to be moving in together, into what will be my very first apartment.

And as we talk about what we want to name the weiner dog we’re inevitably going to get, I can’t help but tear up. And maybe it’s silly, because I still have never paid for my own insurance, or worked 40 hours a week, or lived entirely alone, and so I know there are still people who won’t think much of me and my progress. But I worked so fucking hard to get here and I cry because I’m so so grateful, because this is all I ever wanted and never thought I would have. I still have my bad days, but they’re less and less. And for the first time in my life I can say that I’m happy. I thought I would be dead by now. But instead I’m happy. 

[bxllafanficc]

¡Skate/sing your hearts out! (Yuri Plisetsky x reader)

(Part two)

Part two. Part one Part three Part four part five

Summary: After last year's cancellation of Figure Skating Grand Prix, Yuri Plisetsky finds himself unable to bring out his inner skater after a year of doing nothing but enjoy life like a regular teenager. That's when you enter the picture; We Are Voice Grand Awards's currently hottest competitive vocalist come first place two years in a row. Just like the other competitors of Grand Prix, it turns out that Victor and Yuuri faces the same issue. With an arrangement between Victor and Yakov, they agree to travel to Japan and hire you as a mutual coach for Yuri and Yuuri to help bring back the emotion into their performances like before, maybe even more intense than ever. Yuri however, who's never experienced issues with his coaches before, for some reason finds this one particularly difficult to coexist along with in their (reasonably) odd partnership. Warnings: none

*Your POV*

There. All set and done. You took a last look at the pair of eyes staring back at you in the full body mirror. Your hair all dried up with a blowdrier and a pair of white jeans along with your favorite leather jacket. A grey turtleneck on that and that was the outfit for today. Keeping it classy since Victor failed to cancel the meeting with the press a couple of hours from now. 'A big hoodie would've been the ideal alternative though' you thought and sighed. Nowadays it's all about keeping it as simple yet kind of professional for every day. Social media were all star struck about the world's latest announcement. 'Winner of this year's Grand Prix senior division goes on a tour with none other than the (y/n) (l/n)!' The newspapers were first out as usual thanks to the reporters crowding her personal space since two weeks from now since the news came out. A collaboration between a figure skating competition and a competition for vocalists. You never saw that coming but you could see the appeal. The currently hottest male skater along with a popular female singer, fighting for the spotlight even though they're sharing it evenly. Him with his skills and she with her voice. You agreed to participating when asked, of course. It was a great opportunity and experience. And currently you sought out every great possibility at the market right now. That's what lead you here.

You made your way out the room you were staying in and headed towards the dining area in deep thoughts. 'So that's Yuri Plisetsky up close?' You thought as you passed the living room. You entered the dining area and stood still at the entrance to take in the scene before you. Yuri Plisetsky is sitting at the dining table with his back facing you. Beside him with his side profile turned at your direction is coach Yakov who's chatting with Victor and Yuuri opposite of the table. Yuri is not talking. He's busy eating a dish called the pork cutlet bowl, you assumed. You had never tried one before but the dish was all too familiar thanks to the last Grand Prix competition on Yuuri Katsuki's behalf. You eyed Yuri carefully and entered the room. He's a little shorter than what was given away on television but other than that, very much the boy you'd seen competing time to time. His skating was without doubt impressive to say the least. His jumps were always perfect as expected and his upper body movements in beat to the music. Though, you always deemed something missing in his already amazing performances. Expression. The year he won gold at the senior division, you saw some great scenes of emotion displayed in his skating but it was clear that he never let them consume him. It always looked as if there was something on his mind and that held him back, even made him stop and hesitate sometimes.

"Whoo! (Y/n) is back! Yuri! Meet your coach in musical expressional performance."

The boy's attention was suddenly entirely on you now, in comparison for being totally relaxed and unfocused. He tensed up and the pair of breathtakingly blue and green eyes widened at her for the second time today. 'Hope this is not becoming a regular habit of his' whenever he sees me. It's starting to get a little embarrassing.'

"You! What even- What are you doing here?! A-aren't you like 19 years old or something? That's just two years away from me! That's.. You're far too young to be my coach!" The startled reaction of his kind of made you wonder what was up. He did meet you just about- ah. Your face mask and your covered hair clearly disguised you well enough for the boy not to recognize you. Though he clearly knew you.

"Great, so you're familiar with me. Then I don't need a further introduction." You flashed him a smile.

"Who isn't familiar with the star of We Are Voice and winner of gold two years in a row? At this point, you're basically stealing the spotlight I fought so hard to gain at my senior division debut." The words came out in a mutter and the negative impact of the comment made you raise an eyebrow at the boy on the floor in front of you. He still hadn't stood up to greet you which would be the appropriate thing to do first time meeting your coach. Then you pouted and leaned your now crossed arms against the wall to your right.

"Though, I am a little disappointed you didn't recognize me by voice. I mean, if I am as famous as you speak of, you surely would've known right away." That just earned a scoff from him.

"There are thousands of girls who sound similar to you. Yes, even with that (nationality) accent. Your voice isn't that special." The other men in the room widened their eyes. Ouch. And he's just as grumpy and homeboy teenage-crisis as he was portrayed in television and social media as well. You had thought it was only mere acting in an attempt to shun people away and making the attraction towards him less appealing.

"I see... Well that's one way putting it."

It certainly worked on you, you had thought for several years now but turns out he's just a jerk. Yakov moved to get in Yuri's face and scold him.

"Where is your manners? Quit playing a brat all of a sudden."

"What? Am I not allowed to speak my mind now when you have to suck up to miss universe over here all of a sudden?"

You raised a silent hand for the arguing pair to let their words die down and then you locked gaze with the insolent boy. Your eyes were blank but rock hard and you could swear that you saw a faint gulp forming in his throat.

"Get on your feet and get over here. Turn sideways." At least I didn't have to ask twice. But I didn't really ask him either. He rose to his feet and took some hesitant steps towards me. It was clear that he didn't trust me. 'Something to work on' I hummed to myself. His posture was stiff and crooked but after another word from Yakov, he straighten his back for me to see him properly. He pulled the hood of his hoodie off and mirrored my blank hard stare. I began to circle him, getting a fair look on what I would be working with for a set of weeks. His eyes didn't dare follow mine as I stepped beside him, knowing that I was out for him to break character. A stale being is much harder getting to know than a forward and open one.

Then, when you were behind his back, you reached out with your hand to his back and - shoved him casually forwards. A yelp of surprise echoed through the room as he stumbled and fell towards Victor who caught him right before hitting the floor face first. You and Yakov locked gaze and gave each other a slight nod before you once again turned to the upset boy.

"What the hell was that? You pushed me for what? Are you that sensitive for a little negativity for once?"

"Your balance is off." You simply said with the same blank expression and a headshake. He seemed dumbfounded of the answer and got off Victor with quick feet. He was close to you this time and the daggers you received was intended to leave wounds after he was done.

"Because you pushed me."

"Exactly."

"I wasn't prepared!"

"Exactly."

"We have some work to do, Yuri. Your break has been too long, it seems. She was only picking up on where you left off, in a way." Yakov spoke up between the one-sided staring contest. The boy turned towards the man which included his back facing my front once again. But this time, he was careful on taking a few steps forward to avoid history repeating itself.

"She's not you. She shouldn't do your job. It's none of her business anyway."

"It actually is if you think harder on it. There's no point in me working on your emotional performance if your practical performance is flawed. A skater who can't manage a simple shove will not get up on his or hers feet at the competition as well." You expected some kind of backlash from Yuri, at least a glare or something. But you were met with nothing to your surprise. He didn't speak up either.

"It's settled. You and I will rehearse you back into your former shape before your time with (y/n) begins, starting tomorrow. Meanwhile, also take some time to get to know each other, you two. You seem to need it." Yakov declared the schedule and choose to pinpoint the obvious tension between you and Yuri. You somewhat agreed on spending time besides training. Though, you would rather not take a verbal beating more than once a day further on.

Yuri still didn't speak up but he didn't object either.

"(Y/n), there's food left for you too! Please join us for dinner." Yuuri Katsuki exclaimed and waved an energetic hand towards the bowls and plates on the table. In front of you, you saw the back muscles of the Russian skater's form tense at the words.

You had to decline though. If not for the meeting, then for the sake of giving Yuri some space. It must be hard, after all. Whatever's he's going through right now.

"I would love to! But I have to excuse myself this time. After all, I have a meeting to attend and if I don't get going, I'll soon be running late. See ya folks later!"

And with that, you dashed off.

[veraynes-blog]

19 with TenSimm for the cuddle prompts, if you please 😁

19. While someone's sick. Ten/Simm

In which the Master reluctantly plays doctor. Please excuse his questionable methods of care, he's never had to work at making someone feel better before...

So this got massively longer than I intended, but I hope it's the sickfic you were thinking of! 😄❤

~

They don't notice the Doctor's apparently caught something from their latest travel destination until they're two galaxies and half a millennia away. It's not the kind of thing Time Lords are particularly wary of, picking up illnesses. They have an immune system that fights off most things, and failing that the TARDIS has a sterile field built in which scans and eliminates contaminants.

Neither of them are sure how exactly the Doctor manages to avoid all failsafes, only that, somehow, as he stretches up to adjust the temporal settings on their flight path, there appears to be the beginnings of an angry red rash on the inside of his wrist.

"What the hell is that?" the Master demands when he first sees it, jerking his own hand back from the control panel and safely out of reach.

The Doctor blinks in equal surprise, pushing his sleeve back to examine the marks. "Oh. Not sure. Huh."

The Master wrinkles his nose in distaste at how genuinely interested the other man sounds at the development. He really will do anything for novelty.

"What did you touch?" he snaps accusingly. "...Or should that be 'who'?"

The Doctor shoots him a scathing look, and doesn't bother to address the latter. "I don't know, nothing that's jumping to mind." He runs one finger carefully over the little red lumps. "It doesn't hurt. Not even that itchy."

The Master feels like he's having a stronger vicarious aversion to the whole thing than the Doctor. He can't help looking down at his own hands and wrists, turning them over quickly in search of spots, mercifully finding nothing. Even so, his skin suddenly feels like it's crawling, and he rolls his shoulders unhappily as he imagines half a dozen vicious itches spring up across his back and chest.

"It's probably just a reaction to something," the Doctor dismisses absently, tugging his sleeve back down with a shrug. "Must have an allergy in this regeneration. Can you grab the -?"

But the Master is already striding for the door. "Absolutely not, keep your scabby hands to yourself. Talk to me when you're back to normal." He's going to go shower, thoroughly, and check in the mirror just to be sure that no suspicious blemishes have materialised anywhere on him.

Behind him, the Doctor scoffs. "Thanks for your heartfelt sympathy," he mutters, and then the door closes on whatever further whinging comes next.

~

"It's freezing in here."

The Master arches a sceptical eyebrow over the top of the computer tablet he's working on. It most certainly is not. In fact he rather suspects the other Time Lord has already been messing with the ambient temperature settings of the ship to crank it up a few notches.

It's been a few peaceful hours since he left the Doctor tinkering in the control room. He's sprawled across one of the couches in the library, tablet propped up on his chest, so he has to push himself up enough to peer over the back of the cushions, mouth already open to offer the sarcastic response he's got in mind.

But he stops, and blinks wordlessly at the sight he's met with.

The Doctor's discarded his suit jacket and tie, despite his protestations about being cold, and the reason is fairly obvious as the Master flicks a glance down over him. He's sweating visibly, an unhealthy sheen across his forehead and his shirt damp with it. His skin looks flushed, eyes far too bright as his gaze trails disinterestedly around the library

The Master sits up slowly, vaguely incredulous frown in place.

"Are you... actually sick?"

The other man gives him a slightly blank look, and then wanders closer. The Master almost flinches, because he can catch the faint sour wrongness of it now, and can only watch in amazement as the Doctor slumps tiredly onto the other end of the couch like his strings have been cut. This close, he can see through the open collar of his shirt that the rash has spread to his chest.

Frankly, the Master has no idea what he's supposed to do with the development. 

It really isn't often that Time Lords get sick, not like this. He can't even remember being around it before. He has a distant memory that there'd been an opulent, cathedralesque hospice on Gallifrey, for aging Time Lords beyond their final regenerations, but he'd never gone near. And his own brushes with illness and injury have been very different experiences to this.

He stretches out a hand, pausing momentarily in the air, and then hesitantly presses the inside of his wrist against the Doctor's forehead with a little bump. That's what people do, isn't it? He's definitely seen it done. It's an unpleasant sensation, if he's honest, clammy and startlingly hot.

He snatches his hand back in surprise, gingerly wiping it off on his suit trousers.

"You've got a fever," he says, uselessly, like the Doctor might not have noticed.

The other man gives him a half-smile, looking stupidly charmed by his clumsy attempt at diagnostics.

"Yeah. Sorry."

~

It gets worse quickly after that.

The fever keeps rising, along with the Master's mounting horror as he realises he's going to have to do something to help, and has precisely no idea what. Irritably, he goes scrounging through the TARDIS medical ward and comes back with ice packs, painkillers, and various medicines that might in some way be useful, dumping the collection in front of the other man.

"Come on, you're the Doctor here - which of these are you prescribing yourself?" 

"S'metaphor," the Doctor slurs slightly, from where he's slumped back against the headboard of his bed. He stares listlessly at the offerings, then lifts a shoulder. "Not medical."

The Master sighs tightly. "Yes, whoever imagined that particular pretension might come back to bite us, hm...?" He shoves one of the ice packs none too gently over the other man's forehead, ordering him to keep it there, and perches on the edge of the bed with his tablet to search through the TARDIS’s database for what else he's supposed to do.

He can't figure out exactly what it is the Doctor's picked up from the planet, although that doesn't surprise him much. They tend to react differently than other species anyway, so there's every chance the same illness presents completely differently, or like nothing at all, in the humans he caught it from.

He is, however, more than a little concerned that whatever's wrong could be contagious. If the Master gets sick as well, it doesn't bode well for either one of them, but he's not sure what other option he has but to take the risk. Leaving any Time Lord in the care of some alien medical facility is out of the question, as far as he's concerned; even the best of them have no understanding of the complex physiology they're dealing with, and the worst aren't always above taking advantage of the chance to study them, which the Master won't tolerate.

But nor can he afford to just... keep his distance, because within the day the Doctor is in no state to look after himself.

The fever makes him lethargic and slow to respond, sulkier than usual in his discomfort. He keeps falling into restless sleep, and when he is awake he's nauseous and dizzy and won't stop scratching at his stupid rash until the Master threatens irritably to restrain him if he keeps going.

For his part, the Master resigns himself to setting up on the couch in the Doctor's bedroom. He brings a book. It turns out to be somewhat optimistic, sadly, because what he actually ends up doing is listening to the Doctor's increasingly pathetic complaints like he's proclaiming dying wishes.

"Nggh. Everything hurts. I can feel my organs hurting. I can feel organs I didn't know I had hurting."

"Take another painkiller," the Master suggests blandly, flipping a page.

"Fine." There's a pause. "...Can you get me a drink?"

With ill grace the Master fetches water, and begrudgingly even sorts food (soup, because it's easier to pin him down and force him to drink it, if he has to, than endure pleading with the uncooperative prat to feed himself). He adjusts the ship temperature to the recommended settings (taking great joy in overriding the Tardis's safeguards against him) and diligently picks through the eclectic mix of mostly alien medications he found earlier, trying to determine which ones will safely treat a fever in a Time Lord by cross referencing against the medical sites he pulls up on his tablet.

He's not what anyone would call a natural caregiver, he suspects, more impatient with the whole process than anything. But he is precise, and capable, and thankfully the Doctor is not unaccustomed to doing as he's told these days.

It's not until he can't get a sensible answer out of the other man that he really starts to worry.

"Go to sleep."

"No, I need to get the... the thing. The thing, you know. With the magnets."

The Master closes his eyes in tired exasperation, and when the Doctor starts pushing off the covers like he's going to get up, he shuts his book with a snap and goes to stop him. A quick, efficient shove puts him flat on his back without issue, and the Master insistently puts the ice pack in place again.

"Stay." It's not unlike having a particularly hapless pet, he thinks, ungenerously, and wonders again how long this is likely to go on for.

Rolling his eyes, he turns for the door. "I'll be back in a minute, I need to -"

"Don’t."

The Master glances at him curiously, surprised to find himself met with a strangely fervent expression.

"Don't go." The Doctor says it with such sudden desperation that the Master is immediately sure he's not talking about him just stepping out of the room for a minute. "Don't leave."

"You're delirious," he informs the other Time Lord flatly, prodding at him to try and get him to lie back down. "Go to sleep."

The Doctor makes an uncoordinated grab for him, catching at his sleeve. "No, stay. Please. Stay with me."

The Master shakes him off with a frown, a little unnerved. They don't ask each other things like that. They just don't. It's understood.

But then they don't usually get sick, either.

He deliberates silently, unsure of himself, as the Doctor continues to look up at him with a faintly pleading expression.

Finally he sighs, supposing it's as good a way to keep him pliant as any. Reluctantly, he takes off his tie and waistcoat and lays them aside. Then rolls up his shirtsleeves and unbuttons his collar, because the unnatural heat that's pouring off the other Time Lord can be felt even from where he stands at the edge of the bed, and he can only imagine it's going to be worse the nearer he gets. He moves one of the pillows back and sits stiffly on the edge of the bed.

Agitatedly propped up on one elbow, the Doctor watches him with glazed, too-bright eyes, brows pitched up hopefully. His hand sneaks out across the sheets, already plucking at the edges of the Master's shirt before he's even settled. The Master ignores him for the moment, bringing his legs up on the bed to cross atop the covers, adjusting the cushion behind himself so he can sit propped against the headboard. He remembers he's forgotten his book a second too late - because by then the Doctor is already tipping into his lap, cheek resting heavy against his thigh, one arm thrown awkwardly around his waist.

The Master blinks down at him in bemusement, hands hovering a few inches away from touching. Everything he's done today has been beyond the realm of his typical experience, but this...

He's not sure he's ever been anyone's source of comfort before now.

Warily, he lets one hand settle on the Doctor's shoulder, resigning himself to staying put for a while. There's not much else he can do anyway, in terms of pragmatics; there's water on the sidetable, and he's already plied the other man with what food and medications he can keep down. So he tips his head back against the headboard, gaze drifting upwards, and tries to make himself comfortable.

~

The Master wakes up disoriented. At some point in the night he's slipped down to lie properly on the bed, finds himself curled on his side half-tangled in the mess of sheets. He squints, looking round himself in confusion - and then experiences a moment of senseless panic as he realises he's alone.

He isn't sure what he thinks, in that brief second. That the Doctor's wandered off, that he's gotten worse, that he'll make himself worse. That - he couldn't possibly, it wasn't that bad, surely? - that he might even have regenerated while the Master slept.

He doesn't have time to fully sit up in alarm before the bathroom door opens, and the Doctor steps out. He looks worse for wear still, bumping tiredly into the doorframe on his way through, but far more aware of himself than he'd seemed last night. And in the same regeneration.

The Master relaxes gradually, embarrassed by his own irrational reaction as he lets himself rest back onto the pillow, rubbing the gritty sleep from his eyes. There's a crick in his neck and his shirt's twisted uncomfortably round him and he's never wanted a shower more in his lives.

The Doctor shuffles toward the end of the bed and manages to crawl onto it, but doesn't quite make it all the way back up to the pillows. He gets far enough to collapse with his face pressed against the Master's stomach, one arm draped loosely over his hip, and clearly calls it good enough.

The Master snorts at the attempt, but deigns to place his hand on the back of the Doctor's head, fingers working through the mess of his hair. It's somewhat unpleasant, the strands still damp with sickly sweat, but the other man is in no position to notice his look of distaste as he continues the motion. The feverish temperature has finally dropped, the Master notes absently.

They're quiet for a few minutes, dozing like that. At length, the Doctor stirs against him, fingers curling loosely on his waist.

"You stayed," he murmurs, words distorted as they're spoken right against his midriff.

The Master frowns, keeping his eyes closed. He feels oddly self-conscious, firstly for having done as asked, and now having it commented on. A list of excuses drift automatically through his head. He hadn't had a choice. He'd been being manipulative. Something... sarcastic.

"Shut up," is all he say, though, in the end.

[thefivecalls]

Nope! Nopenopenopenopenope. I am done repeating the shortcuts in life with mental illness and chronic pain. These can probably extend to others but this is specifically from my depression and chronic pain in my leg and lower back:

-drink milk when you cant stand solid foods, it fills you the quickest and lasts the longest (specifially 2% for me, almond a close 2nd. Skim is too watery)

-Saltines, Peanut Butter, and apple slices/sauce are good fillers if you dont feel hungry but know you need to eat. You dont need many and it wont make you sick if you eat too much by accident

-Keep a jug of water in your fridge. Cold water helps ground me sometimes if I get spacy. (Ive heard ice cubes work too? Havent tried that since we dont have ice trays so can't vouch.)

-Apple juice is the best thing to drink to stay awake for long periods of time. Coffee makes anxiety amp up, pineapple and orange juice gives you a jolt but it wears off quickly, cranberry makes me feel more tired somehow, and I simply dont like grapes so idk about them. Apple juice wakes you up relatively quickly and lasts for a while so try it

-If hot liquids are a comfort for you, a thermos helps by making it last longer. I got mine for 3 dollars at goodwill. Soaked it in white vinegar for three days to clean the insides and then put it through a dishwasher. Practically new again.

-if cold things are your comfort, a small lunch cooler by your bed is great cause you can fill it with cold things before a spiral or attack or if you can feel the spasms coming and you can set it next to your bed.

-Peppermint is a natural stimulus. Spearmint gum is a nice smack in the face if you need quick grounding.

-dry shampoo and a brush will make you feel So Much better than before

-Stridex face cleansing wipes are good for cleaning your face quickly and with minimal effort.

-If you can't bring yourself to clean your room, change your sheets. Its the smallest thing that can help you the most during a downward spiral

-Don't spend too much time in bed. It will train your brain Not to sleep there, so move to your window or a couch.

-Washcloth showers! Get a bowl with warmish water and soap and a washcloth, sit down on a stool and wipe off the sweat and grime. It's amazing to feel clean without having to withstand standing in a shower for 40 minutes

-theres this mouthwash spray you can get. Use it when you cant get up to brush your teeth

-Ibuprofen and Tylenol slowly get weaker as you use them. Rub tiger balm on the area of pain and it'll help you so much

-DONT FALL ASLEEP ON A HEATING PAD. Constant heat makes bad burns! And if you're drugged up on sleep meds you probs wont wake up til they where off, and Trust me you dont want to go to the ER at 3 in the morning with a 2nd degree burn on your back and legs

-Today's a home day? Socks. Fucking Hell wearing socks makes it easier to walk and you can slide on hard surfaces! And they keep your feet warm if you put on thermals or wool

-Thoughts being loud? Audio books or music. Rewind if you get trapped up there, dont worry about it cause we've all had to re listen to something at some point. Or some text-to-speech apps for things like fanfics or stories. (I use Text to Voice - Read Aloud. Its pink and has a microphone)

-Compression sleeves! They help apply a constant (somewhat soothing!) pressure. I've got a knee one and a full leg sleeve. Athletic stores have them sometimes for injuries and whatnot.

-Fairy Lights are dim so they dont hurt your eyes, plus they're pretty and come in lots of colors! Mine are purple and white

-men's sweatpants are much more comfy then woman's. Cheaper too.

-An actual alarm clock helps me when executive dysfunction is stopping me. It forces me to get up and I got mine cheap from Wal-Mart. Plug it in away from where you are and set it for sunlight hours.

-Sweatshirts get smelly fast. Some lightweight long sleeves are good alternatives cause they still cover you but they dont suffocate you and you can where them longer

-A squish monster! Ive got an octopus plushie, my friend has a dragon plushie, another friend has a marshmellow one. Good for comfort (and you'll never outgrow it. We're all 16-19, but 2 of the parents that taught us this still use ones themself)

-Sunglasses and eyedrops are good for bloodshot eyes

-Find a comfort video or tv show or movie. Watch it on the bad days. How to train your dragon, atlantis the lost civilization, and Treasure Planet are 3 of my favorites.

-Stale air sucks. Get a small camping fan and set if up near your bed. A couple of D batteries later and you got air movement

-This is more of a coping mech for me, but write down your thoughts and then counter them. It can get hard but things like "Your friends won't leave you" written by your own hand is satisfying to look at. Ive got an old school pad for mine and i keep it on my floor next to my bed

-Blindfolds can be a double edged sword-it can help by taking away your sight and helping you focus internally, but they can also force you into your head and get you stuck there. Use them carefully!

-be nice to yourself! You cant always act at 100%! Even if everyone else is at 70% and to match them you have to up your anty. Coaxing yourself like a scared animal is much better than beating yourself up about not being able to do things.

Feel free to add on, I'll be doing more when I can think of them!

[jawritter]

Promised

Chapter 4

**Series Warnings!! ** ABO dynamics! Smut, unprotected smut, knotting, claiming, mating, heat, rut, language, overly protective Jensen, age gap! 19-year-old reader, 41-year-old Jensen, virgin reader, loss of virginity, sort of an arranged Marriage, hint at possible mob type settings.

Story Description:

In a world where your presentation can be a blessing or a curse, a newly presented Omega will come face to face with the harsh reality of Alphas, Omegas, and pack alliances that are expected to be upheld with the union of your two families…

A/N: Pt.4!!! Please don’t copy my stuff! Feedback is welcomed! If you want to be added to the series tag list, or just my tag list in general let me know! Cross-posted on Wattpad! Hope you enjoy it!! This is my first ABO series so be nice lmao!

Word Count:2281

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Ran over by an angry truck driver, who once he hit you, backed up and ran you over again for good measure. That's what you felt like when you finally regained consciousness.

You laid there as still as possible, refusing to open your eyes. You were so deeply asleep that when you very first realized you had woken up, you felt nothing but numb until you started to become slowly more alert.

Your joints felt like you had been unhinged and then reattached. Your body felt sore all over like you had the flu and were recovering. There was a dull ache between your legs, nothing like it was though. Your stomach felt slightly nauseated... Did you come close to death, or were you just being dramatic?

The more you became aware of your body the more you remembered what happened the previous night.  You could then feel you Alpha's arm and leg caging you into his body as tight as he could hold you in his sleep.

The rise and fall of his broad chest and breathed deeply in his sleep. His scent that seemed to radiate to your very inner being surrounding you. His body warming yours seemly from the inside out. It felt amazing... If only you didn't need to go to the restroom you could stay there all day.

Being as gentle as you could as to not wake up your Alpha, mostly because you didn't know if he would be angry with you for waking him when he looked so peacefully asleep next to you, so you tried to unwrap him from you. You were successful in removing his arm and were working on sitting up to unwrap his leg when he sat up with you like someone had shot him.

You froze staring at him like you might freak out and faint.

"You okay?" he mumbled, started, and still mostly asleep. You would have found it funny if you weren't a little afraid of him. He was twice your age, and after all, he was an alpha. You had heard that they weren't always nice people.

"Y...Yeah... Uh... I just need to," you pointed to the bathroom and he caught on quickly.

"Oh!!! Oh, I'm sorry," he mumbled, releasing you from his hold and running his hands down his face in an attempt to wake himself up more.

You stood and your world spun as your muscle protested. You could feel his eyes on you, so you tried not to show just how tired you still were even though you had to hold onto the wall to make your way as quickly as you could to do your business.

Once you were done you looked in the mirror for the first time in probably two days. You looked horrible. Your hair was a mess. You were a little pale, with circles around your eyes like you could really use another five or six solid hours of sleep.

Then you saw it. Your claiming mark. Running your fingers over the freshly raised mark slightly you felt your stomach twist with nerves.

It vaguely crossed your mind that you no longer belonged to yourself, but you belonged to him. A man twice your age...

Sure he was attractive, but could the two of you even find a common ground to stand on as far as a functioning relationship, or were you destined to just be his arm candy and a rut bunny for him?

Rut... Shit, you hadn't even thought about that. He would eventually go into a rut and would expect you as his mate to help him through it. The thought terrified you, but in a way, you couldn't stand the thought of another Omega even being without a foot of your Alpha, much less going to bed with him.

A light knock on the door nearly made you jump out of your skin.

"Hey, You okay in there, sweetheart?" his deep muffled voice called through the door before cracking it slightly, but not enough to fully see you.

"Yea, yea, I'm okay. I think I might want to take a shower," you said ideally, looking back in the mirror. You just realized you were wearing a shirt that must have been his, because it was WAY too big for your small farm, coming down almost past your knees. Did he dress you?

He just nodded his head, stepping back into the room, but not going away from the door, which made you a little worried. Was he going to watch you the whole time? Not let you out of his sight? Was he one of those overly possessive Alpha men?

"Okay, I'll order some food while you shower. You haven't eaten anything in two days, you wouldn't let me feed you anything, all you wanted to do was sleep."

Momentarily forgetting about the shower you stepped out into the room, keeping your distance though. It was like having this whole other person attached to you that was a complete stranger. You didn't really know what to do with them, but you were so overwhelmingly drawn to them you gravitated toward them without really even a thought. It was scary, to say the least.

"What do you mean two days?" you asked, your voice small. You hated how you automatically submitted to him when he didn't even do anything but stand there.

"Well, they let your fever get a little too high before they called me... I really don't know why they waited... by the time I got to you, you where exhausted, after we... you know... you fell asleep and slept through the rest of your heat. You'd drink water if I put it up to your mouth, but you wouldn't eat anything... My sister said it was because they let you get a little to far gone before they called me."

You stood there staring at him, trying to process everything he was telling you.

Just like that, those memories flooded you of the past two days. You'd been asleep, but not totally. You remembered Jensen's hands constantly checking you. You remembered him trying to get you to eat. You remembered him washing you in a bathtub. You where aware of all these things, but you wouldn't open your eyes. Your body too exhausted to even get yourself to respond to your mate.

You remembered the fever, and when It would get to high how he'd try everything that he could to bring it down instead of knotting you. Your heart clinched within you. You wondered if you weren't good enough for him if he wasn't pleased with you the first time he was with you. So he'd rather put cold rags on you to bring your fever down, instead of knot you again.

You couldn't help the embarrassment and shame that crept it's way into your features as you set there on the side of the bed. You couldn't meet his gaze. You wanted the floor to open up so that you could take a nose dive directly into it.

You didn't realize you were crying until you felt Jensen's arms pulling you into his lap. Holding you close to him.

"Talk to me sweetheart, what's wrong."

You couldn't bring yourself to tell him you were ashamed that you weren't good enough for him. So you just sat there looking anywhere in the room but at him. You felt his lips brush your claiming mark, and you couldn't help the shiver that ran through your body at his touch. You felt his fingers lift your chin to look at him.

"Y/N, talk to me, please, let me know what's wrong. Maybe I can fix it. I don't like not knowing what's wrong with you."

There was a command behind his voice, and you knew if you didn't open up soon then he was going to lose patients with you. You felt like all you had done was cry since he carried you into this room. That made you feel even worse.

Not looking at him you couldn't bring your voice more than a whisper. You felt like your heart was being crushed in your chest. Afraid that if you told him what was wrong, he would get even angrier with you than he probably already was.

"I'm... I'm sorry... I'm not good enough for you Alpha. All I've done is cry and be a burden to you since you carried me in here. I couldn't even go through a heat properly... If you want to reject our bond and send me home I understa..."

Jensen placed two fingers over your lips to stop you before could break down completely. Your body trembling lightly at his touch.

"First, I'm not going to reject our bond and sending you home," he said, wiping tears away with the pad of his thumb. 

Purring he pulled you closer to him, making you face him, and wrapping your legs on either side of his hips as he leaned back against the headboard, making himself more comfortable. 

Jensen Guided your face into the bend of his neck, close to his pulse point where his scent was the strongest, and a calm enveloping you.

"Secondly, you've been through A LOT. I don't expect you to walk around like stone, and I was more than aware that this adjustment, no matter how long they took preparing you for it, was not going to be an easy one for you." 

His deep voice rumbled against you, running his fingers through your hair. You vaguely noted how small your body was held up against his massive shoulders and strong chest.

"And thirdly, you made it through your heat just fine. You had a lot working against you. They kept you in your house until you fever reached a dangerous level before they called me to tell me that you had presented, your first heat is always hard, and usually very intense, you being somewhat of a late bloomer made it a little rougher on you, and then there is the fact that you had never been with a man before. I didn't want to hurt you, so I tried different ways to keep your fever under control. After the night I brought you here and claimed you, you were past the worst of it. You where exhausted. I wasn't going to continue to knot you over and over again when you were barely conscious. Just because I mated you doesn't give me the right to rape you, and were in no position to give your consent. I'm not some Alpha that just takes what he wants at the expense of his Omega. It's my job to take care of you, your not a burden."

You don't know how long you stayed there like that wrapped up with your Alpha, No sex, no heat-induced hurry, just whispered affections, and soft touches. Finally, your stomach growled loudly and you felt Jensen laugh against you, unwrapping you from himself carefully.

"Go shower, I'll order us some food. There's an olive garden not far from that will deliver to the hotel. You need to eat to regain your strength. I'll be here waiting for you to get back out here to me. I'm not going anywhere."

Nodding your head you stood and made your way toward the shower, this time turning the water on and stepping in under the warm spray. Letting it wash all your worries away some. Beating down against your sore muscles. The water helps you feel a little more human and a little less like the walking dead. Your mind on the Alpha that was waiting on you in the next room. You hoped that he wasn't lying about the last two days and the reason he hadn't knotted you again, or even tried to have sex with you.

Cursing your stupid insecurities and low self-esteem you dry off quickly. Stepping out of the shower you noticed a pile of clothes sitting there folded neatly for you on the sink that wasn't there when you got into the shower. Here he was, still taking care of you. There was also a bathroom bag pack there with your things, toothbrushes, and other essentials from home. You didn't even hear him come into the bathroom.

Your heart swelled in your chest. Thinking maybe, just maybe he wasn't lying about you not being good enough for him. I mean according to the blood test you were true mates. Though you weren't going to bring that up to him.

When you walked out of the bathroom again you looked at the large hotel room that was more of a studio apartment than an actual hotel for the first time. He'd turned the lights on for one, and you don't remember him really having them on the whole time you'd been here, but also this was the most alert you'd been since you got here.

You found Jensen standing at the island sorting the food he'd bought. Chicken parnassian, salad, breadsticks, even raspberry tea for both of you. Smiling when he saw you come around the corner into the room he stepped forward and wrapped his arms tightly around you. The same calm washed over you, and honestly, you could have stood there like that all night long as long as he kept his arms wrapped up around you like that.

"Feeling better?" he asked, burying his face in your kneck inhaling your scent deeply.

"A lot better," you said as he pulled away from you just enough to grab the food he'd fixed for you, leading you over to the couch before grabbing his own and coming to sit down next to you...

You felt more at home at that moment you had in your entire life, and honestly. That scared you a little.

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Catch up: Promised Series Masterlist

Tag List:

@deanwanddamons​ @imabitch4jensen​

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@onethirstyunicorn​

[mrsreinhart]

THE HUSTLE AND BUSTLE OF BEING LILI REINHART

In an Australian exclusive, Riverdale actress Lili Reinhart talks about playing a stripper in the woke, neon-soaked, Jennifer Lopez-produced film Hustlers

NEW YORK CITY: The pursuit of having-it-all has always been the beating heart of this metropolis. People from all over the world – including myself – come here for the vicarious thrill of the pace, the chase and the electricity felt post a career win. Talking industry, how you experience New York is directly proportionate to how hard you hustle for the opportunities; What you put in is what you get out. Nobody knew this more so than Ramona, the take-no-prisoners stripper brilliantly brought to life by Jennifer Lopez, in the new Lorene Scarfaria-directed film Hustlers. “This whole city, this whole country is one big strip club,” Ramona says. “You have people tossing the money and people doing the dance.”

Based on a 2015 New York Magazine article by Jessica Pressler, the diamonte-clad drama follows a group of female strippers who, post-recession, band together and drug unsuspecting Wall Street suits and run up their credit cards. Along with Destiny (Constance Wu), Ramona enlists colleagues Mercedes (Keke Palmer) and Annabelle (Lili Reinhart) to scour the city’s bars for men who can be lured by a glittery display of agile ass-shaking. It’s payback for the money the bankers stole from millions of people, Ramona says. Cardi B and Lizzo also make an appearance in a film that took an impressive US$33 million at the box office on its opening weekend in the States. (Be on the lookout for the first time you see Lopez’s pole-dance. With only one day to shoot, film crew said the 50-year-old walked on set as Ramona – and the strength in her performance, in a sequinned G-string, no less – will absolutely blow you away.)

Reinhart sits down with GRAZIA to discuss how she hustled her way to become one of the biggest stars on television, her most confronting scene in Hustlers and how she still finds New York incredibly overwhelming.

GRAZIA: Hustlers is about a group of women pushing and pushing until they get what they want. Can you think of a time in your life or your career where you’ve had to hustle really hard to make a dream become a reality?

LILI REINHART: “Yes! When I was 18 years old, I moved to LA for the first time and was struggling for five months. I didn’t have any money. I had saved up to move out to LA but it was slowly dwindling and I had to sort of go to every other audition that I was offered. I really had no money; I had to pinch pennies and eat at 7/11 – gas station food – in order to get by so much so that I decided I needed to move back home for a while in order to save up money again. I moved back in with my parents and when I was 19, I tried it all again. That was the kind of hustle I experienced. It took me a while!”

GRAZIA: The film is inspired by a real-life story. Can you tell us a little bit about your character Annabelle?

LR: “The characters were somewhat inspired by some of the girls involved in [Pressler’s story] but I think our director and writer Lorene had a specific vision for what she wanted Annabelle to be. She’s loosely based on one of the girls but I think her personality and specific traits of her character are all from Lorene’s brain. Lorene was very willing to collaborate with me on who Annabelle was and she was open to suggestions, open to improvisation, she really was an open book when it came to that so I just felt like I had free rein with what I wanted to do with Annabelle. Lorene had already done such a good job of creating her own paper that it was quite easy role for me to step into the role – a very loveable role. Annabelle is the baby of the group, she’s very sweet. When she was abandoned by her family after they found out what she was doing and where she was working, she was embraced by these women who opened their arms which was incredible. As a young girl who is more of a follower than a leader, I think Annabelle was one hundred per cent swept up in their influence and lead to this life of crime.”

GRAZIA: Like co-star Jennifer Lopez, did you visit any strip clubs to soak up what being a dancer was all about?

LR: “I actually didn’t go to any strip clubs during filming or before filming. I had been to a strip club before, twice actually. I took two private [dancing] lessons but JLo on the other hand was dancing for months in rehearsals. You don’t actually see me dance in the film but I sort of wanted to get a gist of what it was about and it was incredibly hard and you have to be extremely athletic to do it, it is not an easy thing to do. But it really does make you feel sexy, like it was really sexy and fun. I would definitely do it again, either as a workout class or go for another private lesson.”

GRAZIA: When you were researching the worlds of these women, what was one of the most surprising things you learnt? I know that Jennifer said she was surprised to learn most of these women are just struggling to get by.

LR: “When I had to do a scene where I was dancing in front of this guy who was watching and ogling at me. Now, clearly he’s a guy I didn’t know, he’s an actor but it felt weird. I was like, ‘Oh, this is strange having to dance in a seductive way in front of a man that I don’t know’ and it kind of made me think, ‘Wow I couldn’t do that’. It makes me uncomfortable. I wouldn’t be able to do that as a job like these women do, and I think what I took away from the film after having some conversations with the other girls on the set – and also just sort of doing a little bit of research – is that a lot of women look at stripping as performance art in order to get by. To do their job, they have to almost put on an act, that’s not who they are as people. They don’t really give the people that they’re dancing in front of any part of their real selves. I thought it was really an interesting way of thinking about it. It totally makes sense because I think it would feel a lot of more uncomfortable and sort of violating if you were actually giving these men a lot of who you were as a person.”

GRAZIA: Annabelle reminds me of a young Violet Sandford in the 2000 film Coyote Ugly – Piper Perabo’s character – sort of wide eyed, innocent and experiencing the dark nooks of New York City for the first time. Do you remember the first time you came to the city?

LR: “I was pretty young when I first came to New York. I think I was 12 years old and my mum used to drive me from Ohio to New York for auditions because I had begged her to. It was very overwhelming, I found and I still find New York incredibly overwhelming. Filming there for a month was really wonderful because usually every time I go to New York, it’s very quick – I’m in and out like 24 hours or two days – but this time I had actual free time to explore and sort of get the lay of the land more and see the city for what it was. I definitely have a lot more appreciation for the New York culture and how much it has to offer and how many different people are there. It’s truly amazing the amount of diversity that’s there but I do still find it quite overwhelming. Like, I feel like I have to take a deep breath when I step outside. You need to know where you’re going. You can’t be looking at our Google maps, you have to just know what your whereabouts and where you’re going and how fast you want to walk.”

GRAZIA: Jennifer Lopez was a producer on this film as well. How would you describe your relationship dynamic with her and what was she like to work with in between takes?

LR: “She’s wonderful. She’s like a mama bear. I got that vibe from her, even during my first day on set when we were filming a scene where we’re all in a jail cell together and Jennifer is just incredibly kind and very much like a mama bear. She held my hand in the scene and was treating me like I was a really close friend or a daughter that she cared about and that was really sweet. She’s very much a strong, badass woman who is really very motherly.”

[coneygoil]

The Home We Built Together, part 29

Two young Vikings. An arranged marriage. Hiccup always wanted to win the girl of his dreams, but not like this. Now he and Astrid must learn to live together and maybe one day, learn to love…

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9| Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25 | Part 26 | Part 27 | Part 28

Writer’s note: I didn’t expect to update “Home” so soon! Especially after the crazy busy week I had. Big things are coming! Thank you to everyone has kept up with this fic! <3 It’s a year this month that I started it. Didn’t think it would come this far! 

“Toothless, you gotta get us out of here, bud.” Hiccup tried to turn his dragon around, but Toothless shook him off.

As much as Astrid had worked with Toothless and the arena dragons in peace, forming bonds and alliances, this situation she was in now was surreal and downright terrifying. These dragons didn’t know her, and her and Hiccup could easily become apart of their kill if one got the wild hair to try. Toothless would defend them, she trusted for the most part, but with the strange way he was acting, she wasn’t completely sure of that right now.

They continued to fly in the hoard of dragons through the thick fog until they broke through the veil once again to see the chilling sight of the volcano island. The dragons clustered together as they flew through a hole in the side of the volcano. A brief bout of darkness shrouded them. The eerie red glow they’d seen spewing from the top of the mountain was straight ahead of them.

Astrid hadn’t taken note of the heat until it slapped them in the face like scalding steam. She winced as it burned her skin. They exited the tunnel into a massive chasm. Many upon many shelves were rived into the sides of the rock, twisted and crude as if the heat itself carved them. Through the smoky haze that made Astrid’s eyes sting, she spotted different species of dragons clustered together on the shelves. They didn’t look happy or at home at all, more like alert and anxious. They circled around the hole, red hot flickering up from its bottomless pit.

“What my dad wouldn’t give to find this,” Hiccup commented, seeming far more calm about the entire situation than she felt.

Astrid pressed the bottom of her face into his shoulder guard, eyes flicking all around. Meeting the band of dragons on the island’s shore was a pleasant picnic compared to the terrifying sight they were faced with now. Astrid had never seen so many dragons in her life. Not even during the most turbulent raids!

After making a wide swing above the pit, Toothless landed on a rocky shelf, hiding behind a formation whittled large enough to shield them. He peeked around the rock along with Hiccup. Astrid stretched over Hiccup’s back; her view lessened by her position. A steady flow of dragons continued to pour in, dropping their prizes into the red haze.

“It’s satisfying to know all our food as been dumped down a hole.”

“They’re not eating any of it.”

Astrid still didn’t understand everything about dragons, but this was the most baffling behavior yet. Why would they sacrifice their food to a volcano?

The stream of dragons had slowed, only a light green Gronckle lazily buzzing in. It hovered above the middle of the pit and coughed up a small fish from its mouth. It looked so innocent and oblivious as it hovered there scratching an itch. A roar echoed from deep in the pit.

Astrid didn’t think she could find anything more frightening than being in a volcano with a thousand dragons. She was wrong. A massive head, ten times bigger than the largest boulder on Berk, emerged from the pit. It’s mouth, full of teeth longer than the tallest trees, chomped at the Gronckle and the poor dragon was no more.

Her and Hiccup shared a gasp, shaken to the core, as they both pulled back father behind the rock shielding them. The monstrous dragon’s nostrils inhaled in a powerful sniff that echoed throughout the cavern. A new smell amid the Sulphur and dragon scales. Astrid’s heart stopped. It had detected their presence.

“Get us out of here, bud,” Hiccup commanded.

Astrid barely had time to grab hold of Hiccup before they shot off. From the corner of her stinging eyes, she caught a glimpse of a massive dark streak aiming straight at their former hiding spot. A sickening chomp followed.

They flew upwards into the blinding mass of dragons as they circled toward the opening of the volcano to escape. Astrid could feel herself slipping and let go of Hiccup’s waist for only a split second to regain her grip. She didn’t realize what was happening until she felt herself falling. She barely heard her screams in the cacophony of chaos all around her. Her mind blanked, feeling as if she would pass out, and then her body suddenly connected with a hard surface. Screwing her eyes shut, she tried to suck in a much-needed breath, but the surrounding gases burned her lungs.

Her body hurt, mainly her back and legs, but miraculously nothing felt broken. It’d felt like an eternity, but in perspective, she hadn’t fallen far at all. A ledge protruding from the volcano’s upper level had caught her. She quickly looked over the side to watch a poor Zippleback get snatched up by the massive dragon’s mouth. She’d begged for that sacrifice to appease the colossus, but its nostrils drew in a deep sniff – clearly gifted with an amazing sense of smell.

It rose up higher, sniffing the side of the volcano, closer and closer to where Astrid had landed. Astrid scurried back on her bottom, the ledge providing no place to hide. Her stomach flipped violently as she pressed her back into the hot rock wall, awaiting her doom as the dragon’s nose drew closer.

She could hardly believe her ears at the sound of a Night Fury blast. A blue plasma blast shot directly at the massive dragon’s many eyes. It reared back, screaming it’s protest. Another blast hit it again, drawing it further away from the ledge. One more blast to the face and it retreated downward.

Tears pricked at Astrid’s eyes when the familiar form of Toothless landed on the ledge. She ignored the protest of her aching body and jumped in the saddle, securing her arms around Hiccup’s waist. Toothless launched toward the volcano’s hole once more, the path now free of retreating dragons. A deafening roar shook through the cavern. The giant of a dragon made one more attempt at catching them, but Toothless was faster and long eluded the hundreds of teeth as it clamped down on air behind them.

Astrid didn’t open her eyes until they were high in the night sky away from the veil of fog. She pressed her face between Hiccup’ shoulder blades, arms wrapped nearly completely around his middle. Trembles traveled throughout her body, from her inner core to the tips of her fingers.

“Astrid?” Hiccup’s voice reached through the screaming in her head. She jumped involuntarily when his hand touched her arm. “Astrid, are you okay?”

For the first time since they’d entered the volcano, Astrid took a deep breath, the intake of oxygen somewhat soothing her shaken nerves and reviving her stifled lungs. She nodded against his back. “I’m okay.”

The response was enough for Hiccup, and they flew in heavy silence for a long time, the choppy sea sloshing down below them. Astrid clung to her husband, his warmth and presence a balm to her shaken state. Finally, the achy chill of the night air roused her from her stupor. She shoved away the fresh memories, determined to think like a warrior again. This massive, monstrous thing was out there, threatening dragons and Vikings’ lives. This was not okay.

“That island—” she began, close to Hiccup’s ear so he could hear her clearly, “it’s like a hive. The dragons are her workers and that’s their queen. It controls them.” She paused, letting Hiccup mull over the theory. She knew he’d come to the same conclusion, probably faster than she had. “Hiccup, what’re we going to do about this?”

His head dropped as a heavy sigh left him. “I don’t know.”

He wouldn’t like this. “We need to tell your dad when he comes back from the campaign.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. He could be back at any day.” He sliced a hand through the air, resolved. “No, we need to think this through.”

“Hiccup, he deserves to know. We just discovered the dragon’s nest. The thing we’ve been after since Vikings first sailed here.”

“But we need to stick to the plan first. Show my dad that dragons aren’t what we thought they were. Do you think a fleet of Vikings could take down that thing?”

Astrid played the scenario in her head. A battle between a fleet of Vikings and the gigantic red dragon that could eat half the village’s warriors in one gulp.  Would the queen’s own army rally behind her? Or would they mutiny against her? If the dragons did choose the queen, no matter how courageous Berk’s fleet was, they’d be wiped out within seconds.

The warrior part of her hated to admit it but, “No. They probably wouldn’t stand a chance.”

Hiccup twisted around, causing Astrid to loosen her hold and lean back to see him better. In the light of the moon, she could see determination shining in his eyes, a resolve that couldn’t be shaken. He looked stronger than he ever had before. “Give me time. I’ll think of something that will free the dragons and end the war. For good.”

Astrid knew he would keep his word.

The rest of the journey home fell quiet as they traveled over the sea, the moon casting a long spotlight on the water. They were dead on their feet as they trekked back to the village from the cove, hand in hand. Daylight was most likely a few hours away.

Astrid sat on their bed, donning her nightgown. Her bones felt as if they’d collapse in a heap from exhaustion, but her mind was still reeling even after all the hours that had passed since their harrowing experience on Dragon Island. She absently brushed her hair, taken down from the braid. Her gaze stared blankly at the wall while her mind’s eyes were somewhere far away--

Glowing red, pulsating eerily off the cavern walls. The jarring hurt from the fall. The scrapes stinging and the bruises blooming. The powerful intake of the red dragon’s breath as it searched for her. The burning heat on her back pressed against the hot rock. The consuming fear of being found and eaten alive. Drawing closer and closer…

“Astrid?”

A shuttering breath escaped from her thickened throat. She barely realized she’d flung herself at Hiccup, sob after sob raking out as she clung to him. His slender arms enveloped her, pulling her against him. She wasn’t sure how long she cried into the curve of his neck, releasing all the fear and distress that she’d kept at bay for hours.

Hiccup did not carry much muscle, but as he held her in the wee hours of the morning, he was the strength that she needed.

Tags:  @martabm90​ @chiefhiccstrid @drchee5e @celtictreemuffin @hey-its-laura-again

[echodrops]

The Promises I Made (2019 Edition)

For the past thirteen years, I’ve spent every New Year’s Eve compiling a list of fifty promises I intend to keep or fulfill over the next twelve months. The results have been truly amazing, and I have kept some promises I never thought I could. 2019 was… a nightmare that I can barely believe I survived, but I still kept some promises that I honestly did not expect I ever could.

This year, for New Year’s, there will be a new set of promises for to me keep, but here are the old ones, for review!

The Promises I Made (2019 Edition)

1) Be more proactive about tracking and following up with struggling students to decrease the number of students who drop from my class when they realize they cannot pass. Status: Somewhat broken? I tried really hard to be proactive with my students; however, there were some massive issues outside the classroom this year that made it extremely difficult to keep the focus on the students. When administration drags your attention away from the class, there is not a lot you can do…

2) Find a place to put in volunteer hours because uhhhh like this is actually important to my work evaluation and I definitely need something to write in that section… Yikes, this spring is my last chance to do this!! @_@ Status: Kept. I volunteered with the Utah Shakespeare Festival and it was super fun!

3) Install the fire escape window in the Utah house, no matter how much it might cost, because I can’t get a totally unrelated tenant in that basement without said window… Status: Somewhat kept. Okay. This one is a LONG story, but to be fair to me, I worked my ASS off to try and make this happen; just every single thing in the world prevented me from completing this promise, up to and including the city telling me I needed a permit AFTER I had already dug a massive hole in the ground for the window…

4) Buy sod to add grass to the front portion of the lawn so that it no longer looks like garbage. Status: Broken, but I did buy grass seed and put that out there. Unfortunately only some of it sprouted, but there is indeed SOME grass now growing there…

5) Fix the bricks near the windowsills on the Utah house to prevent long-term damage. Status: Broken. After dealing with the stupid window disaster, I had no time for this at all.

6) Get a watering system for my roses at the Utah house because I think my bro is probably killing them and that’s just not cool. Status: Broken, see above.

7) Work on the patio at the Utah house before it just flat out falls down. Status: Somewhat broken. Again, I tried to make progress on this—I called a patio guy to come out and assess how much it would cost to fix the patio—but the price I was quoted was so high that there was nothing I could do at the time.

8) Paint the stairwell so that there’s no chance of anything like lead paint or asbestos being exposed. Status: Broken. The leftover wallpaper glue continues to confound me…

9) Trim the backyard bushes so the neighbors don’t hate us anymore… Status: Broken. We trimmed a few bushes and at least got to the trees out front, but definitely a majority were left uncared for.

10) Move into a new house in Texas where I can get real internet, please for the love of god… Status: Kept. I moved into a very nice house with no scorpions!

11) Save money for my upcoming trip to Japan! 2020 baby! Status: Uhhh, broken. I’m not sure how I thought I’d be able to move into a new house AND save money for an international trip at the same time…

12) Get my wisdom tooth removed because it’s still there and still killing me, yikessss. Status: Broken. AUGH. I’m an idiot.

13) Make an appointment with an eye doctor for like the first time in years. Good job, Yehn, good job. Status: Kept. I got my glasses fixed and even got a new pair of glasses too!

14) Get my prescriptions refilled because I’m dwindling on asthma medicine and like… I could die from this… I should never have been left to care for myself; I’m not mature enough for this responsibility… Status: Kept, surprisingly. But I still need a new doctor because the last one I was going to wouldn’t give me any refills…

15) FINISH THE GIVEAWAY PRIZES I PROMISED LAST YEAR because holy shit I am incompetent and the worst and everyone has permission to hate me for starting things and never finishing them, fuck. Status: Broken. So broken. I am the worst.

16) Go dolphin watching in the Gulf for real this time. Seriously, it’s $10 Yehn, you can do this. Status: Kept, amazingly. It wasn’t as impressed as hoped; however, there was a lovely sunset.

17) Return to the Channel Islands to take better pictures. D; Status: Broken. T_T

18) Level all my classes to 70 in FFXIV before next expansion, please. Status: Somewhat broken. I didn’t have everything to 70 before the expansion, but I kind of feel like I should get credit for this one, because HEY, look at me now:

19) Organize and properly label all the photos on my computer so that I’m no longer desperately combing through folder and folder in blank confusion, looking for a single picture in a sea of thousands… Status: Kept. It took me like eight hours of work, but I actually did this.

20) Update Home and a Half more than once? PLEASE??? The guilt I feel over this currently is crushing. Status: Broken. And the guilt grows…

21) Complete the online American Literature class I am designing on time and with no corrections needed. Status: Kept. I’m counting this as kept even though TECHNICALLY there was one thing I forgot to finish and it came back and bit me in the ass; however, I was approved with no corrections needed.

22) Earn 100% completion for Kingdom Hearts III. So excited! Status: Broken. Um… This just didn’t happen.

23) Update my calendar with important dates—holidays, birthdays, etc.—and be productive about sending cards and well-wishes. Status: Somewhat kept. I wasn’t any better about sending cards really, but I did at least save all the birthdays in my phone so I remember them.

24) Get the garbage disposal in the Texas house fixed ASAP so I don’t have to wash the dishes by hand anymore because I absolutely hate that particular chore. Status: Kept. Then I moved, so it didn’t even matter.

25) Finish all the books my coworkers and friends bought for me recently so I can thank them for their recommendations! Status: Broken. So broken.

26) Actually move into my new place instead of leaving it completely undecorated and lifeless. Status: Remarkably, kept. Nothing has plastic on it, unlike at my old house where the nightstand didn’t get unwrapped even after two years of living there lol.

27) Try hard to get Creative Writing into a different area of the general ed. core so that more people will enroll in it. Status: Kept. I’m counting this because I did my darn best, but we are still waiting on the state to tell us whether or not the class will be accepted.

28) Get caught up on my Ebird reports, even the old, old, old ones I never put in because I was slacking. Status: Kept, actually. Whoo.

29) Throw away/return/sort all the stacks of old mail in the house (OMGGGG they’ve made me look like paper hoarder and I’m nootttt). Status: Broken. There’s just… a lot of papers to go through…

30) Clean up the garage before moving so that I don’t have to fight spiders to move when the time comes. Status: Broken, in that I did not clean up the garage in advance and did, in fact, have to fight spiders when it came time to move.

31) Find a way to boost grading productivity so that each class takes only two days to grade, maximum. Status: Somewhat kept. I was definitely better this year than last year; however, I really think the “two days per class” thing was too optimistic, so for the future semester, I allotted myself three days per class and I think it will work better.

32) Go to a totally new restaurant and try their food. Status: Kept. We went to a Mexican restaurant and I had trompo tacos (al pastor) which is probably not anything special to anyone else but it was my first time so lol.

33) Cancel old credit cards to make sure my credit is good before trying to buy a house (although I just checked my credit score and I’m in the great range already, so this is mostly for posterity’s sake). Status: Broken. But it didn’t affect my loan, so I guess it was okay. And it ended up being good I didn’t cancel my Best Buy card because I was able to get good financing on the new appliances I needed for my house.

34) Get official contracts from my tenants so I can use my rental income in my next loan calculation. Status: Broken, but I ended up not using that as part of the loan calculation anyway >_> so…

35) Talk to an HR rep about my retirement savings so that I can consolidate all my retirement accounts into one. (Man, look at all these ADULTING promises.) Status: Broken. Look at me failing all these adulting promises.

36) Really finish decorating my office so it looks super cute and all my students want to visit me. Status: Broken, but I think it sucks that I have to write this because it was really not my fault I couldn’t finish decorating my office. Our offices were all moved and disrupted by building remodels so I spent the entire year basically working out of a couple cardboard boxes.

37) Not sign up for ANY more new responsibilities at work in the spring semester. This is the biggest challenge. D; Status: Kept, by technicality. I was able to avoid signing up for anything new in SPRING… But fall… was a whole other story. XD

38) Migrate all the rest of my books to the new Texas house instead of leaving them in Utah… SOMEHOW. Status: Kept. I’m going to count this as kept. The only books left at the Utah house are my manga—I managed to bring literally every other book, which is very impressive considering I had only my small Camaro with its tiny truck space.

39) Use my twitter account more often to make it worth following. I will try!! Status: Kept… sorta? I mean, since I didn’t use the account AT ALL before, making even one Twitter post kind of counts as using it more, right? >_>

40) Keep my hair cut nicely so I look less like a mess (than I really am). Status: Somewhat broken. Although I think I got my hair cut more often this year than before, I don’t think I looked any less like a mess. XD

41) Successfully find a bridesmaid dress for my friend’s wedding that matches the rest of the wedding party. Status: Actually kept! It was incredible. The wedding I was in was even featured in a magazine because of how pretty it was!

42) Make sure my skin is in good condition for the wedding so I don’t look like a disturbing ghost… Status: Kept? I mean, in the end, looking like a ghost ended up being the whole point since it was a Halloween themed wedding so I kind of won either way.

43) Complete my BNHA manga collection. Since my bro bought me a bunch of the volumes for Christmas, I might as well. Status: Broken… I bought like… one volume. XD

44) See a groove-billed ani. (It’s another type of bird.) Status: Broken. Very illusive bird. T_T

45) Respond to messages, asks, and comments more quickly. I promise I’m not ignoring people… D; Status: Um, broken. I left many people on read this year, sorry.

46) Lose ten pounds so that I feel more fit and comfy. Status: Broken. I didn’t exercise at all this year, uff.

47) Pay down credit card debt by at least 1/3. Yikesssss, I really need to do this quick. Status: Broken. It’s hard to pay down a credit card when you pour all your money into buying a new house…

48) I will finally fucking finish that chapter 73 analysis of Noragami… I swear to god… Status: Broken. Uh yeah. This didn’t happen. V_V

49) Reach 1700 followers on Tumblr. You should follow me—I’m only marginally a waste of time and space! Status: Kept. Over 2500 followers now!

50) I will keep these promises. LOLLLLL. Status: Somewhat kept/somewhat broken. One year I really will keep them all…

 Totals Kept promises: 18 Broken promises: 24 Somewhat kept/broken promises: 8

Well, there are more kept promises than last year at least… It was another really hard year, what with moving in the middle of the year, over-working, dealing with so much drama with the reaccreditation on our campus, and just EVERYTHING all at once this last year… I keep thinking things are going to calm down and then they never do. Please 2020… just let me rest…

My new set of promises will be up on the 1st!

[everlastingscul]

character sheets. 

tagged by: @midnightpapllion​ tagging: no one! feel free to take this from me.

full name.  fayette pronunciation.  fay-yet nicknames.  wind child, little bird, bee, and ‘vessel’ (this is from the nameless one.)

height.  5′4″. age.  spiritually, 42. this is marked on her SOUL ID. physically, her body is 19 years old. in literal terms of her formation, she is only 3. zodiac.  [REDACTED INFORMATION.] languages.  french, japanese, english, nobody, heartless, the language of hope’s peak, and  aetherian.

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair colour. a duller dark brown. eye colour.  a yellow and pinkish-red gradient. skin tone. a slightly saturated brown. body type.  hourglass. her legs carry a lot of the illusory fat that whilreanis once had, but so does the very top of her upper body. she has a particularly toned stomach, having visible abs.  accent. nobody gibberish. it’s kind of like a baby learning to speak, but a bit older, if you can imagine that. dominant hand.  left for most things.  posture.  she stands only somewhat straight when resting. often times, she prefers to be curved due to her flexibility. tattoos. not a tattoo, but there’s a strange birthmark on the back of her neck. it’s shape is very similar to someone else’s... most noticeable features.  a bee hairclip on her left bangs gifted from nora, her many freckles dotted along her body, and the scar on her chest, when it’s visible. 

CHILDHOOD.

place of “birth.”  hope’s peak. hometown. the village of the eastern shrine. manner of birth.  whilreanis casting her body aside in a last ditch attempt to prevent the world eater from killing her on that fateful day. first words.  ‘alive’. siblings. [REDACTED INFORMATION.] parents. margaux eledine hunnie (mother). kaviel aerhala (father). parental involvement. none once she was formed. nora took this responsibility instead.

ADULT LIFE

occupation.  traverse town’s “guide girl”. member of the traverse town defensive council, serving as one of it’s prime knights. current residence. traverse town. relationship status. currently completely single. she’s still figuring out how love’s intricacies work, but is capable of getting crushes. driver’s license. she does actually have one, according to her soul id. she also has the license necessary to man trains from her time as whilreanis. this muscle memory is retained despite her lack of regular memories. criminal record. nonexistant.

ROMANCE.

sexual orientation. pansexual. romantic orientation. panromantic. love language.  fayette will often show her affection and love through baking for the target of her affections, be it romantic or not. romantic interests will often get more carefully made things, though. stuff that takes a lot of time to pull of correctly. she also is very fond of the language of touch, often hugging within the limits of one’s boundaries and doing things like holding hands. she doesn’t see holding hands as romantic, but she will have a firmer hold when romantically interested in someone.

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song.  gurenge - lisa hobbies to pass the time.  she often bakes things to pass time, but you can catch her drawing a lot in a personal sketchbook on her offtime from her balcony, along with dancing. mental illnesses.  no notable things, however, she is extremely prone to breakdowns when certain trigger words are spoken at her directly. calling her “my honey” is one such trigger word. physical illnesses. [REDACTED INFORMATION.] fears.  monophobia, fear of being alone. claustrophobia, fear of being in an enclosed space. (this one is why she has bead doors.) self confidence level. ...average. fayette often puts others before herself, she doesn’t particularly care about what happens to her. it’s when she fails others that she breaks down. vulnerabilities. fayette is particularly weak when it comes to verbal harassment or abuse. she’s grown up in a positive environment for the most part, with little exposure to a harsher reality. she recklessly believes people are good, and this also means she can easily be taken advantage of, despite tenbrien’s pleading. her neck is also her most sensitive part of her body, meaning anyone who grabs her there has her limp out of fear almost instantly.

full name.  beraich amaleria-chiyoko. pronunciation.  bear-ai-k nicknames.  berie, herald, shadow, and “forbidden one” (by the nameless one. they are very edgy.)

height.  6′3″. age.  17 physically and mentally. his SOUL ID records his spiritual age as completely unknown, meaning it’s bugged beyond belief, zodiac.  standard zodiac: libra. chinese zodiac: dragon. languages.  english, japanese, aetherian, the language of hope’s peak, nobody, and heartless.

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair colour. dark brown, almost black. single blonde streaks in his braids. eye colour.  green on the right, purple on the left.  skin tone. dark brown. body type.  lanky. has a toned upper body and legs, though. the muscle isnt visible, but it is feelable. accent. has a strange accent unknown to even hope’s peak. according to mrs. portsmire, it’s an aetherian dialect she’s rarely heard. dominant hand.  right normally, but ambidextrous in combat. posture.  stands fairly straight. this is a result of learning around nora. tattoos. not a tattoo, but he has a libra birthmark on his left hand. glowing cheek ‘tattoos’, as well. most noticeable features.  his heterochromia and cheek markings.  the kazokaíma is also one.

CHILDHOOD.

[this segment contains REDACTED INFORMATION.]

ADULT LIFE

occupation.  serves as one of traverse town’s defensive council’s members. still next in line to become the east wielder. current residence. traverse town, with fayette. relationship status. single. 

ROMANCE.

sexual orientation. bisexual. romantic orientation. biromantic. love language.  beraich is.. very awkward. often he’ll stutter over his words, and try to find amazing things to show the person of his affections. like fayette, he takes to baking, but he also knits things for them. the knitting one is very rare, though.

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song.  children - escala hobbies to pass the time. tends to practice his swordsmanship in his free time if he’s not knitting or making food. likes to go on strolls through traverse town or hang out with the permanent residents, as well. mental illnesses.  [REDACTED INFORMATION.] physical illnesses. [REDACTED INFORMATION.] fears.  atelophobia, the fear of not being enough. self confidence level. kind of deplorable. beraich has serious self confidence issues, consistently believing it’s his fault that nora had to push him and take his place. his nightmares are full of this and more, and it leads to breakdowns he tries to hide. vulnerabilities. he’s particularly fickle when it comes to his self esteem, as mentioned. if someone prods at him the way his nightmares do, he can either burst into a fit of uncontrollable rage or break down crying. both result in him becoming completely distant and non-responsive for a solid hour or so afterwards. the anger is particularly dangerous, as his swings become erratic and he’s not thinking rationally,

[sarakuper]

Visiting Sean’s Grandparents; Spirit Lake & Lake Park, Iowa

Stop #24, Sept 12-19

After a long [and scary] night we arrived at Spirit Lake where I could feel the nostalgia flowing from Sean. He pointed out everything in town that he had a connection with and shared stories from his childhood. We pulled in front of Sean’s grandparents house where Grandma Ghee and Grandpa Tim were waiting outside with big smiles. I was so relieved to finally be here and already felt a strong sense of comfort. I had met Ghee and Tim a few times before while going back to Omaha for an Elser Christmas and was looking forward to spending some more time with them. 

We got settled in, showered, and ate some breakfast. Ghee made scotcharoos, which to me is a Christmas cookie delicacy, but now there was a fresh batch for us to enjoy all week long! I couldn’t help myself; even though we had donuts for breakfast I needed a scotcharoo too! After a little while we drove into town for a delicious lunch at Taco House around Okoboji, then drove around the lake town that Sean speaks so highly of. Being after labor day many of the seasonal activities had already come to a close as well as some shops and restaurants. I would love to come back in the heart of summer to enjoy some of that Okoboji magic! 

The next morning Sean and I woke up to the most amazing smell for breakfast. Sean had mentioned how he loved Ghee’s monkey bread and POOF, it was there waiting for us for breakfast and still warm. Oh my goodness… that monkey bread was the best thing I’ve ever tasted!! Later in the day she made fresh oatmeal cookies too, and at that point I just accepted that I would put a on few [or more] pounds this week and shouldn’t bother getting back to normal eating until I leave Iowa. Because, of course, she packed up several leftovers for us to take when we leave the next day! At that point I happily accepted stretchy shorts and leggings for the next week.

Later in the day we stopped at Sean’s other grandparents home because my laptop was getting delivered that day, and in case it took longer I gave them the Iowa address we would be at latest. I got my laptop back so quickly, and its working perfectly! Wahoo! This time around the process was a lot smoother. 

Sean and I shopped around town for some Kayaks hoping that an end of year sale would get us a great deal. But, with all the extra money I spent on my laptop I decided I’d rather put down a few bucks to rent a kayak when the time comes, rather than buy one right now. 

The rest of our time with Ghee and Tim the five of us hung out and spent time catching up. Jaxon was so happy to be in a house with a rug where he could make any spot on the floor his own. We exchanged stories from our trip and life in general. Tim showed us his boat, which he was preparing for the trip they would leave for the next day, and shared some funny stories of Sean and his siblings going out on the boat when they were children. Ghee took out some old photos of Sean, which I especially enjoyed! He was a little Justin Bieber in his high school days! 

I really enjoyed Ghee and Tim’s company and loved getting to know them more. Meanwhile, Ghee made sure to fill our bellies with such delicious goodies that even Tim felt like he was on vacation! I forgot to mention we ended every night with ice cream… 

The night before Ghee and Tim left for their trip we ate Sean’s favorite for dinner, Godfathers Pizza, which I have come to somewhat enjoy. I’m still a pizza snob; its in my NY blood! But this pie really was delicious, and the four of us enjoyed our last meal together. The next day they left around 7:30am and Sean and I were so sad to say goodbye. I kept telling him how fun it was to hangout with them and that they are really good people whose company I really enjoyed. Ghee told us to stay as long as we’d like and just to lock up before we leave. 

After a long lazy morning of sleeping in and eating more sweets for breakfast we finally packed up and left, getting ourselves over to Sean’s other grandparent’s house only 15 minutes away in Lake Park. Coincidentally, they were already on a vacation and were getting back in a few days. So, Sean and I had a lot of down time before actually spending time with Grandma Maxine and Grandpa John.

We spent those few days between doing a variety of things. First, we took out the side by side, AKA the ripper, for a drive all around the farm. The birds were hovering over the corn,  the butterflies were fluttering, and the frogs were jumping, as was the mud running through the tires and shooting in the air. After the first ride I learned to keep my mouth closed; my face got hit with mud! The farm is beautiful and really fun to explore.

That night we logged right into netflix to binge watched The Office, our absolute favorite TV show that never gets old. We’ve watched the entire series too many times to count but never cease to find something new to laugh about in every episode. That first night we also raided the fridge and freezer and found some of Maxine’s home cooked meals that we defrosted for the night and the next. 

Another day to ourselves Sean spent hours working on the truck while I switched between cleaning the trailer and getting caught up with computer work. Sean could not have been happier working in his grandpa’s machine shed. He had every tool you could possibly need, and light and shelter which meant Sean could work after sunset. It also meant he could leave his tools out and just pause his work for the night not having to clean up like he needed to when he worked in the alley behind our house. 

On Sunday the 15th Sean took me to the Clay County Fair for its last day running. Maxine left us two tickets, and I was so exited to check it out! I’ve never been to fair that big, let alone in the middle of Iowa! Well, it sure was huge, and way different than the fairs they had in my home town growing up. Besides the capacity there was tons of livestock competing for who knows what, cheese curd stands, and huuuuuge tractors being sold! Sean and I ate our way through the fair starting off with a smoothie to keep it “light” but then continued to fried cheese curds, a jurassic sized corn dog, and a rib sandwich. Right after we walked through the live stock barn I was all upset about the treatment of the animals, and then we walked into The Chop Shop and had those rib sandwiches. Damn, that was the best I’ve ever had!!!!!  Talk about conflicting feelings…. Once we felt sick to our stomachs from the food the heat really started to kick in and we decided to leave.

Grandma Maxine and Grandpa John arrived late Monday night from their bus trip and hung out with us as we all exchanged stories from our trips. After a good nights sleep they took us out to breakfast at their favorite diner, then we spent the afternoon learning how to play the card game Hand and Foot, an Elser favorite! The night ended with a delicious meal and warm apple pie with vanilla ice cream. Both my belly and heart were full <3

The next morning we woke up to the smell of bacon, and while Sean and I were supposed to leave right after breakfast we decided at the very last minute, since we were so comfortable and in such good company, we would stay an extra day. Maxine and I went grocery shopping while Sean continued to work on the trailer, and after a few hours of errands and work we played some more cards. I also took a walk to see the butterflies on the evergreens; there were hundreds right next to their house! It was so beautiful and peaceful to see. 

Sean later took me on the swing where I felt like a child again. After a few minutes of getting air and spinning we were suddenly reminded we are not children; both of us got off feeling nauseous. Our bodies cannot tolerate being thrown into the air like they used to! Later that night had our final meal together, although Maxine sent us with lots of food to go.  

It was such a pleasure to spend some quality time in Iowa with both of Sean’s grandparents and on the farm.  I’ve been saying things along this line, but never in my life did I think I would ever go to Iowa let a lone a farm in Iowa! During 5th grade for my school’s annual “states” project I was assigned Iowa, and all I could remember from that project was that the Iowa State Coin had not come out yet… and CORN!  That the extent of my understanding until I met Sean and Josh. Well, it was a blast! Next time we will come during the heart of summer to explore more of Okoboji.

Thanks for reading, love you all! 

[g-on-ef]

Hi! You mentioned in your blog that you needed a distraction and that fic-requesters were free to come your way? If this is convenient, then can I request a damijon fic? One where batfam is overprotective and keeps interrupting the time damian and jon spend together and the two get frustrated? Thanks!

A/N: Of course you can sweetie ^^

So there is no confusion Jon is 14 and Damian is 17

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

He knew it was a mistake to tell Dick that he was dating Jon, he should have listen to his instincts when they told him that it was a bad idea but Jonathan thought he was embarrassed of him because he didn’t want to tell his family about them.

The truth was in the Batfamily you learn that you share everything, the bathroom, food, your dad’s attention; anything you could think of the family shared even when the girls and their personal problems, okay that was mainly Steph but the point is if one had something they had to share with everyone in the family.

So, it was natural that Damian wanted to keep something to himself for as long as he could but Jon wanted everyone to know and Damian just couldn’t say no to those big blue puppy dog eyes so he gave in and told his family.

Of course, the last thing he expected was for Grayson to tell Todd, who told Brown, who told Thomas, who tried to keep it a secret but Drake figured it out himself and told Damian that he was going to need a lot of luck.

Now he understood why he said that.

His worst fear was that he might have to share Jon’s attention with everyone, he never thought that his brothers would do everything they can to keep him from enjoying his time with Jon.

“I guess it could be-”

“Don’t say it,”

“Say what?”

“Don’t say it could be worse because every time you say that something worse happens,”

Jon puffed his cheeks in anger and Damian did not think that was adorable…okay he did but he was not going to say that out loud.

“That’s not true,”

“Our trip to the zoo?”

“Oh, right that was…I mean it wasn’t…okay so it could’ve…”

The look on Damian’s face told Jon that he was right and nothing Jon could say would prove him wrong.

“Shut up,” he said while grabbing a fry and throwing it at Damian, Damian just laughed as he looked around the food court and saw that the close was clear, he then reached for Jon’s hand however, before he could another hand landed on the table making a loud banging noise, poor Jon nearly wet himself at the loud sound that appeared out of nowhere.

“Hey you guys! Tim, Duke, Jay, and I brought you guys some food,”

If Damian had heat vision he would use it to burn Grayson’s smug look off his face right about now.

Meanwhile, Jon was hoping against hope that he didn’t look like he was seconds away from soiling himself.

“I thought I told you Grayson that Jon and I would be getting our own food,”

“True…but since me and your brothers are already here why not get you guys some food,” he said with a huge smile.

Damian wanted to slap that smile off his face.

The rest of the batboys came with Duke giving him an apoligic look, Tim giving him a smug look, and Jason glaring down at the baby supe.

“Ummm…that’s so nice of you Dick,”

“Of course it is, I mean my baby brother is on a date and I really want to make sure you guys have a good time,” he said with a sweet smile, a little to sweet for Damian’s liking.

When Jason placed the food down he also gave Jon a sweet smile.

“I took the liberty of ordering for you hope you don’t mind,”

“N-not at all,” Jon was about to grab his plate before Damian grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“Don’t eat that,” was all he said before he gave him his own plate.

“We can share from mine,”

Jon just smiled and didn’t want to admit that he was scared to eat the food Jason got him, mainly because he could smell the spicy condiments coming off of the plate.

Dick and Jason glared at the baby supe while said supe was doing everything not to pay attention to their glares even though it was easier said then done.

Duke and Tim looked at each other before they slapped the back of their brother’s heads.

“Why don’t the two of you go to the arcade while Tim, Jason, Dick, and I finish eating,” Thomas said smiling at the two boys.

He had to admit, Damian and Jon were the cutest thing and while he can somewhat understand Dick’s need to be overprotective with Damian the older boy needed to let go and let him be on his own.

Damian smiled and grabbed Jon’s hand.

“Thomas, you are officially my favorite,” he then pulled Jon away from the mess that was his brothers and headed for the arcade.

“What the fuck Duke?!” Could be heard from the other side of the restaurant and Damian and Jon couldn’t help but laugh.

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

He thought of all people Drake would be the most understanding, the one who would let them be and not bother them but he was wrong, he was so wrong.

He turned his gaze to Jon who also looked annoyed and was holding himself back from burning off his brother’s face.

Connor and Tim overheard Jon telling Damian that they should spend some time at the park. Damian agreed and couldn’t wait to spend a nice day out with Jon.

The it was a nice day, the weather wasn’t to hot or cold, not to mention that Alfred prepared them a nice home cook meal, informing the boys that he hopes they have fun.

The plan was simple, eat some food play on the swings-Damian would never admit it to his brothers but he loved the swings they were really fun-and flying kites together. Overall, it was supposed to be a relaxing day…until Drake and the Clone showed up ate their food and asked them what they were doing at the park.

Jon had to bite his tongue to not say anything rude but he was close to snapping and if it weren’t for the fact that he was a little intimated by his big brother he probably would have gone off on him.

“So, where you two planning on flying kites?” Tim asked gesturing to the kites on the floor.

“What do you think?” surprisingly it wasn’t Damian that answered but Jon.

Kon and Tim looked shock for a moment before laughing it off, clearly Damian was rubbing off on Jon.

“Okay right silly question, so what else where you two planning on doing here?”

“Nothing,” the two said simultaneously both wearing matching glares. Tim just shrugged it off and kept eating when neither Tim nor Kon were looking Jon used his ice breath to freeze both their drinks, both of the older boys were shock to see their tongues stuck inside their drinks, Damian was shocked and laughed as he realized that his boyfriend just played a cruel trick on them.

“Wanna go back to my place and play some video games?” Jon asked.

“Sounds like a plan,” 

Jon smirked as he took Damian in his arms princess style and flew off, ignoring the muffle screams from his brother and Tim.

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

It’s been two years since young Masters Wayne and Kent started dating and it still surprised Alfred how overprotective his siblings were of him.

With Jon being 16 and Damian being 19 you would think that his other grandchildren would stop harassing them and leave them be, Jon has proven time and time again that he wasn’t going to leave Damian and Damian continued to show everyone how important Jon was to Damian.

And yet his other grandchildren-minus Duke and Cass, and everyone wonder why those two were his favorites-and Bruce decided to always interrupt Master Kent and Master Wayne’s dates and it was beginning to take a toll of both boys. Not that he blamed them, two years of having older sibling interrupt your date can get to you. It was a miricale  that Damian hasn’t killed any of them.

 Tonight was Jon’s 17th birthday and Damian decided to throw a huge party at Wayne Manor, of course this meant that all the batboys and girls were gonna keep a close eye on Damian and make sure that Jon behaved himself, surprisingly Damian invited every superhero but none of Jon’s or his friends which was weird in their eyes.

“Okay guys it’s almost time for the birthday boy to get here,” Lois said, if Dick didn’t know any better he would’ve assumed that Lois had a mischievous look on her face but dismissed that idea. Lois was an amazing woman who would never do anything to harm anyone right?

An hour into the party and Jon nor Damian were nowhere to be found, even Clark looked surprised before he and Bruce approached Lois, Dick and the rest of his siblings followed close behind them.

“Hey Lois?” Lois turned away from her conversation with Diana to look at her husband, his best friend, and said best friend’s adoptive children.

“Yes?” Lois asked with sickly sweet smile.

“Where are Jon and Damian? I thought you said that Jon would be here soon, so where is he?”

“And Damian?” this time it was Dick Bruce looked at his eldest with a disappointed look for interrupting him.

Lois looked at them before shrugging her shoulders.

“I don’t know, I mean Damian just texted me saying he was on his way but I guess they might have made a stop somewhere in Smallville?”

The two families looked at each other before flying off to Smallville, there was no way their baby was going to lose his virginity to some asshole

(Both families failed to see that they were having similar thoughts)

Meanwhile Lois smirk as she send Talia a quick text

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

Talia watched as Damian, Jon, Maya, Kathy, and the rest of the tiny heroes danced around having a good time, she felt her phone buzzing in her pocket.

Pulling it out she saw she recieved a message from Lois who let her know that their families are on a wild goose chase and won’t be back home until morning.

Talia laughed as her son’s plan to keep Bruce and Clark occupided worked. 

She looked up to see Damian and Jon kissing one another while everyone else was having fun and not paying attention to the couple since they knew their friends needed some peace.

Talia made a mental note to give Jon his present later, after all a private island where no one, not even Tim Drake himself would find would be the best thing he’ll ever get since he can use it to spend some time with Damian with no interruptions.

[dazstormretro]

Final Fantasy VII with Soup? - Nov 1997

As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs I have many video gaming related memories from my childhood but there are particular ones which standout more than others. One of these standout memories was purchasing Final Fantasy VII back in the November of 1997.

Since first playing Final Fantasy 2 on my Super Nintendo back in 1993 I had fallen in love with the series. The epic storyline, the fascinating character developments and the addictive gameplay all added to the charm of this title. Then once again during the Christmas of 1994 I was lucky enough to receive a copy of Final Fantasy 3 which took the franchise to the next level incorporating amazing graphics and an orchestral musical score which still sounds fantastic today. Unfortunately with both titles my game progress was mysteriously deleted so I was never able to see either game through to completion.

A few years later after learning Square were going to part ways with Nintendo thus no more Final Fantasy titles I purchased my PlayStation solely on the promise of a new game. Finally in the November of 1997 this game was released in the UK and I was at the front of the queue.

That day in question I was working on a student film at my university. Studying theatre my class was often asked to take part in short films which the Media students would create as part of their coursework. Giving up a whole morning to go do a bit of acting wasn’t everyone’s idea of fun but the £40 payment which they were offering defiantly made the experience worthwhile. After filming a coupe of scenes I was finished for the day so jumping on a bus I headed to Derby city centre with my payment in hand.

This would be my first PlayStation purchase in months due to the fact I was a poor student living off my grant so any extra cash would normally go on food or beer. This time however it was different. I’d been waiting for this game for ages so armed with my £40 I headed to the local Game Station store.

This game had been hyped to death and received rave reviews across the board. Being the first Final Fantasy title to break into the mainstream in the West advertising was rife. Television adverts, posters plastered on the sides of buses and billboards featuring a massive Cloud Strife holding his mighty Buster Sword could be found everywhere. This game was defiantly a big deal and any PlayStation owner at the time seemed to want to own a copy. Interesting fact, it was also one of the biggest returned games ever due to the fact many people who purchased Final Fantasy VII didn’t realise it was a JRPG and were disappointed when they learnt it wasn’t an action adventure similar to Zelda: A Link to the Past.

Having purchased my game I headed to the local super market to grab some lunch before I settled in for the day to play video games. Money was tight so I remember buying a tin of pea and ham soup, a pack of crumpets and a four pack of cheap larger, this was going to be an epic afternoon. Turns out the crumpet and soup combo would become somewhat of a tradition for me. Whenever a new Final Fantasy title goes on sale I always make sure I stock up on these essential items for the release day. The last time I ate this meal was for the long awaited release of Final Fantasy XV on the PS4.

Once back at my student dorm I heated up the soup, buttered a couple of crumpets and cracked open a beer before sitting down in front of my PlayStation and watching the opening cinematic. To say my mind was blown was an understatement. With no access to the internet back in 97 this was the first time I had watched these full motion visuals in action and they were beautiful. From the second Aerith stepped out onto the busy street of Midgar and the camera panned back through the hustle and bustle of the city to reveal the Final Fantasy logo I was in ore. In one continuous motion the camera then followed a freewheeling train on its journey before pulling into a station as the main protagonist, Cloud appeared. Unlike previous Final Fantasy adventures there was no time to wander around a small village learning the games basic mechanics, this time you were thrust straight into the action given the mission to destroy the Shinra Mako reactor before escaping with your life.

This was by far the most cinematic experience within a video game I had encountered up until this point. The pace of the action was electric, the music moved you along with a sense of urgency causing my heart rate to increase. I was soon given the chance to create my charters name, as usual Daz was inputted. Next I was introduced to Barrett (one of my favourite FF characters) and as is tradition with any RPG I play his name was soon changed to Ben.

For the rest of that day I sat on my dorm room floor drinking beer and playing Final Fantasy VII and it was awesome. Over the coming weeks any free time I had was spent progressing the story, levelling up my charters and collecting Materia. I remember finally escaping Midgar after many hours and venturing to the world above only to be met with a vast landscape to explore, this game truly was huge! Spread over three disks the first disk alone took me over five hours of solid play to beat. It was whilst playing disk two that I ran into trouble and would become stuck. I remember traveling to the next location on the map. To get there I had to use a submarine to explore the waters. Here I ran into a boss battle which I could not beat. I tried over and over for a week but still no luck. Admitting defeat I decided to put the game down and returned to it a few weeks later but once agin I could not for the life of me beat him.

This boss was of course Emerald Weapon, a large and very difficult robot boss which uses a timer forcing the player to beat him within twenty minutes. I remember pulling my hair out trying to defeat this boss, every time getting my arse handed to me on a plate or simply running out of time. In the end I simply gave up and retired the game back to my gaming shelf. The annoying thing is years later I would discover the Emerald Weapon was actually an optional boss placed in the game to challenge more experienced players and could be completely avoided, SON OFF A B#@CH!

Unfortunately as with both FF2 and 3 I would never see the ending of this amazing game due to my copy along with my PS1 being stolen, but that’s a story for a future blog. Final Fantasy VII is certainly one of the standout titles from my gaming past and having now added it back to my retro gaming collection and with the new PS4 reboot hopefully on the horizon I hope to finally beat this masterpiece and end my Final Fantasy curse once and for all.

NOTE

As of 21/08/19 I finally beat Final Fantasy 7 after 22 long years. What an amazing experience to see this quest through to the end and finally put this game to rest (well, until the remake gets released on the PS4 that is!)

[sparkleywonderful]

The Prince of Ice: Ch.21

Part 21 of The Prince of Ice series, a retelling of Heir of Fire from Rowan’s point of view.

The Prince of Ice: Parts [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ] [ 9 ] [ 10 ] [ 11 ] [ 12 ] [ 13 ] [ 14 ] [ 14.5 ] [ 15 ] [ 16 ]  [ 17 ] [ 18 ] [ 19 ] [ 20 ]

- - - - - - -

He sat at his work table monitoring Aelin. His instincts to protect had battled for hours against his demons. He had never fussed over his mate, the same way he was fussing over Aelin. If he had, maybe… He froze that thought deep into the dark abyss that had become his soul. If there was one lesson that was deeply ingrained, it was that he could never go back.

He looked over at Aelin, noticing she looked peaceful. At this moment he could easily see the Ashryver lineage in the gold of her skin and hair. He remembered decades ago when Rhoe had fallen in love with one of the fair princesses on a trip to Wendlyn. He had given up his right of succession to marry Evalin. The royal court in Terrasen had feared that she would would stay young as he continued to age. With no heir possible from King Orlon, it was determined that their child would be the heir to the throne.

He had a feeling it was a concession on the part of the nobles. Rhoe and Orlon were the last of Brannon’s line. He recalled the lessons that he and Edna sat through, the lessons to mold them into the heads of House Whitethorn. He recalled his uncle mentioning that Terrasen had a great distrust of Maeve and in some ways Wendlyn. Terrasen would never kneel to a princess of Wendlyn.

His eyes dropped to the scared hands and wrists that rested on her abdomen. Instead of being groomed for the crown, she had spent the past ten years being trained to kill. Instead of attending balls and royal functions, she had spent a year as a slave. She was much stronger than he had initially given her credit for. The spoiled brat facade was just that, a mark she wore to face her world.

The scent of two familiar demi-fae pulled him from his thoughts. He had always enjoyed the company of the old man and Luca was starting to grow on him, much in the same way Fenrys had. Even now in her current condition neither male were a true threat to her well being. So the growl that erupted from his throat took all of them by surprise.

Emrys flashed a knowing smile, “Well Elentiya, it seems you are in competent hands, we’ll come back in a few days.”

He appreciated the old man, but that knowing smile ruffled him. He needed to bury the thoughts that blossomed from that smile. The guilt to move forward and live while is mate has died could consume him if he let it.

He continued to study the map marking the location of the found bodies. There was not an easily seen pattern, except that the locations made little sense. He could not remember a time where he had stared so intently at a map hoping it would give him the answers he was looking for, while providing the escape of not facing the current situation in his room.

Aelin pulled him from his thoughts, “You know, I highly doubt anyone is going to attack me now, if they’ve already put up with my nonsense for this long.”

“This isn’t negotiable.”  And it was not negotiable. He could hardly explain the strength in his desire to protect her.

“So you mean to tell me that whenever someone comes close to burnout, she not only goes through all this misery, but if she’s female, the males around her go this berserk?”

He set down his pen and twisted to examine her. Was this berserk? No. Berserk would have been barring the doors, eating only meals prepared by himself. Berserk would be incapacitating every demi-fae in this fortress until she was healed. No, he was fighting against berserk.

“This is hardly berserk. At least you can defend yourself by physical means when your magic is useless. For other Fae, even if they’ve had weapons and defense training, if they can’t touch their magic, they’re vulnerable, especially when they’re drained and in pain. That makes people—usually males, yes—somewhat edgy. Others have been known to kill without thought any perceived threat, real or otherwise.”

He pulled her mug from her, seeing that it was drained he refilled it.

“What sort of threat? Maeve’s lands are peaceful.”

“Threats from anywhere—males, females, creatures … You can’t reason against it. Even if it wasn’t in our culture, there would still be an instinct to protect the defenseless, regardless of whether they’re female or male, young or old.”

She was looking a little peeky. He reached for a slice of bread and a bowl of beef broth. “Eat this.”

“It pains me to say this, but one more bite and I’ll be sick all over the place.”

Ignoring her, he dipped the bread into the broth and held them out to her. Before she had a chance to argue with him, “You need to keep up your energy. You probably came so close to burnout because you didn’t have enough food in your stomach.”

He should have been closely monitoring, before he asked her to keep three fires alight, he should have ensured she had a full meal, something more than an apple. It was his job to instruct her and even though they had already determined he was the worst teacher in the world, he never recalled telling her that her fae body requires more food than her human form.

While she ate, he fussed around the room before grabbing the now empty bowl from her, returning to the worktable trying to ignore the pain that was written between her brows.

“So when the magic runs out,” she said, “that’s it—either you stop or you burn out?”

The fact that he suspected they shared a carranam bond, her question allowed him to ease into a conversation he had been avoiding the last few hours. He knew her training on her fae nature was limited, would have been limited even if the last ten years had not occurred. Demi-fae rarely were powerful enough to have experienced the carranam bond.

Rowan leaned back in his chair. “Well, there’s the carranam.”

“It’s hard to explain, I’ve only ever seen it used a handful of times on killing fields. When you’re drained, your carranam can yield their power to you, as long as you’re compatible and actively sharing a blood connection.”

She tilted her head to the side. “If we were carranam, and I gave you my power, would you still only be using wind and ice—not my fire?”

He nodded his response.

“How do you know if you’re compatible with someone?”

He thought for a moment, “There’s no way of telling until you try. And the bond is so rare that the majority of Fae never meet someone who is compatible, or whom they trust enough to test it out. There’s always a threat that they could take too much—and if they’re unskilled, they could shatter your mind. Or you could both burn out completely.”

He felt the guilt he had been hoarding over the deep need to care for Aelin in ways that he did not Lyria fade completely. While the mating bond was sacred, to experience it did not leave you completely defenseless. To share a carranam bond with another soul, to allow yourself to open completely to another soul, to trust them enough not to harm you, that was an entirely different matter. To trust another soul that deeply explained the strength of his need to protect her.

“Could you ever just steal magic from someone?”

“Less savory Fae once attempted to do so—to win battles and add to their own power—but it never worked. And if it did, it was because the person they held hostage was coincidentally compatible. Maeve outlawed any forced bonds long before I was born, but … I’ve been sent a few times to hunt down corrupt Fae who keep their carranam as slaves. Usually, the slaves are so broken there’s no way to rehabilitate them. Putting them down is the only mercy I can offer.”

The memories of those times threatened to overtake him. The only reason he survived those deaths was because he often prayed for the same mercy he granted to those broken souls.

“Doing that must be harder than all the wars and sieges you’ve ever waged.”

It was those times that he had prayed to the gods, begged to them for a better world, a world without monsters.

“Immortality is not as much of a gift as mortals would believe. It can breed monsters that even you would be sick to learn about. Imagine the sadists you’ve encountered—and then imagine them with millennia to hone their craft and warped desires.”

He watched Aelin shudder at the thought. She had also seen and known the monsters that plagued their world, but only from the human aspect. “This conversation’s become too awful to have after eating,”

“Tell me which one of your little cadre is the handsomest, and if he would fancy me.”

He could not hold back the choke that left his throat.  The thought of her and Fenrys made his blood boil, it was amazing how the boyo could annoy him even in a general conversation. But her with the others caused him to feel a strong dread in the pit of his stomach.

“The thought of you with any of my companions makes my blood run cold.”

“They’re that awful? Your kitty-cat friend looked decent enough.”

It took all of his being not to choke out a laugh. Kitty-cat?

“I don’t think my kitty-cat friend would know what to do with you—nor would any of the others. It would likely end in bloodshed.”

He crossed his arms at the grin that alight her face. While there was a part of him that wanted to see her smile, the other part did not want her to smile at the thought of being with one of his companions. He needed to end this conversation before it morphed into another line of questioning.

“They would likely have very little interest in you, as you’ll be old and decrepit soon enough and thus not worth the effort it would take to win you.”

He almost smiled when she rolled her eyes, “Killjoy.”

When he looked over her again, his eyes caught on her wrists, the proof that she had once worn shackles.

“A skilled healer could probably get rid of those scars—definitely the ones on your wrist, and most on your back.”

He was not sure why he offered the fleeting thought, her scars told a story that should not be erased.

“There were cells in the bowels of the mines that they used to punish slaves. Cells so dark you would wake up in them and think you’d been blinded. They locked me in there sometimes—once for three weeks straight. And the only thing that got me through it was reminding myself of my name, over and over and over—I am Celaena Sardothien.”

It took all of his two centuries of being Maeve’s blood sworn to lock down the rage that was boiling inside him. He sat listening to a girl of eighteen tell him about her hell.

“When they would let me out, so much of my mind had shut down in the darkness that the only thing I could remember was that my name was Celaena. Celaena Sardothien, arrogant and brave and skilled, Celaena who did not know fear or despair, Celaena who was a weapon honed by Death.”

“I don’t usually let myself think about that part of Endovier, after I got out, there were nights when I would wake up and think I was back in those cells, and I would have to light every candle in my room to prove I wasn’t. They don’t just kill you in the mines—they break you.

“There are thousands of slaves in Endovier, and a good number are from Terrasen. Regardless of what I do with my birthright, I’m going to find a way to free them someday. I will free them. Them, and all the slaves in Calaculla, too. So my scars serve as a reminder of that.”

The name whispered on the wind all those weeks ago came forward. Fireheart.

What other pain was she caring close to her heart? Before he could stop himself, “What happened ten years ago, Aelin?”

“I’m not going to talk about that.”

“If you took up your crown, you could free Endovier far more easily than—”

“I can’t talk about it.”

This is when he knew that she blamed herself in some part for the events that occurred ten years ago.

“Why?”

“There is this … rage, this despair and hatred and rage that lives and breathes inside me. There is no sanity to it, no gentleness. It is a monster dwelling under my skin. For the past ten years, I have worked every day, every hour, to keep that monster locked up. And the moment I talk about those two days, and what happened before and after, that monster is going to break loose, and there will be no accounting for what I do.”

And there it was. He had worked through that rage when he slowly killed the Fae that had murdered his wife and child. He was able to settle the rage knowing that those responsible were dead. He could not imagine what it would have been like to have to bottle up that rage because he was helpless to seek vengeance.

“That is how I was able to stand before the King of Adarlan, how I was able to befriend his son and his captain, how I was able to live in that palace. Because I did not give that rage, those memories, one inch. And right now I am looking for the tools that might destroy my enemy, and I cannot let out the monster, because it will make me use those tools against the king, not put them back as I should—and I might very well destroy the world for spite. So that is why I must be Celaena, not Aelin—because being Aelin means facing those things, and unleashing that monster. Do you understand?”

He did, more than she realized.

“For whatever it’s worth, I don’t think you would destroy the world from spite. But I also think you like to suffer. You collect scars because you want proof that you are paying for whatever sins you’ve committed. And I know this because I’ve been doing the same damn thing for two hundred years. Tell me, do you think you will go to some blessed Afterworld, or do you expect a burning hell? You’re hoping for hell—because how could you face them in the After-world? Better to suffer, to be damned for eternity and—”

“That’s enough,” she whispered.

What a pair they were. He continued to sit at his work table, knowing that if laid next to her in this very moment he would pull her into him. That was a line he could not cross. It was bad enough that he did not request a cot, sharing a living space would blur the lines, sharing a bed would blur then even farther.

He also knew that he should not get attached, that in a short matter of time that he would have to leave. That this chapter of their lives would end and at that time they would have to part ways.

For tonight and for the days to come he would live in the moment, take the small reprieve from the darkness that she had to offer.

Together. He knew that the together they spoke of did not end here. With that thought, he laid beside her allowing her scent of jasmine, lemon verbena and embers caress over his battered soul, before he spoke,  “At least if you’re going to hell, then we’ll be there together.”

Tired of fighting the urge to touch her, he brushed a large hand down her hair, hiding the smirk when she flatly stated, “I feel bad for the dark god already.”

“When I’m back to normal, can I assume you’re going to yell at me about almost burning out?”

He let out a soft laugh but continued stroking her hair. “You have no idea.”

In that moment he decided that the day she decided to free the slaves from the labor camps, that he would be beside her. Even if Maeve whipped him within a millimeter of his life, it would be worth the pain to see a single wish of hers to come true. “I have no doubt that you’ll be able to free the slaves from the labor camps some day. No matter what name you use.”

When he felt her hand against his chest, and she whispered “thank you for looking after me,” he grunted to fight the urge to pull her closer. Boundaries. She was off-limits for a thousand reasons, not to mention that even if he could open his heart in that way again, he was sworn to Maeve.

@awesomebooksuniverse @loppymooney @queen-elain @inrealliampain @namjoonseuphoria

[fahrni]

Saturday Morning Coffee

The Daily Beast: “The Senate voted to confirm Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson as the newest member of the United States Supreme Court on Thursday, delivering on President Joe Biden’s vow to successfully nominate the first Black female justice in the court’s history.”

We got a good one. It’s nice to see such a qualified person sit on the Supreme Court.

Congratulations Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson!

MacRumors: “In time, the Deliveries app will likely stop showing direct tracking information in the app for additional services.”

This is a real drag. I’ve been a Deliveries user for quite some time now. I have no idea why delivery companies would lock this down, unless it had to do with privacy? If that’s the case sign these third parties up, make sure they’re trustworthy, and give them an API to use. One that requires the user to give permission to the app before using it.

Platformer: “On Monday, it was revealed that over the past month he has become its largest individual shareholder. On Tuesday, Twitter CEO Parag Agrawal that Musk now has a seat on the board.”

Money can’t make you happy, but it can buy you a seat on Twitter’s Board.

It would be really great if some of these companies could have some sort of Peon Board. A board of normals, the unwealthy, the unpowerful, to help offset the power held by a few. A super wealthy few.

Fingers crossed he doesn’t bring back the orange menace. 🤡

Microsoft Edge Blog: “Beginning in Microsoft Edge 100, we’ve updated sleeping tabs to enable pages that are sharing a browsing instance with another page to now go to sleep.”

I had to put this in here because it reminded me of something we did for media streams at Pelco. If the user went from a 2x2 display of video — a grid of four videos — to focus on a single stream of video, we’d freeze the other three streams. That meant we’d keep the structure of the pipeline and the attributes to restart it, but we’d release as many system resources as possible back to the OS.

When the user went back to a 2x2, or other layout, we’d thaw the streams and they start displaying video with their corresponding audio stream.

Performance work can be extremely frustrating and add a lot of complexity to software, but, when you get it right it can be very rewarding.

Maddow Blog: “But I was also struck by Trump’s focus on what he still considers one of the key details of Jan. 6: the pre-riot crowd size. In fact, the Republican wants more credit for having brought together anti-election conspiracy theorists, some of whom attacked the U.S. Capitol after having been riled up by Trump’s lies.”

The Former Guy is so egotistical. I’m shocked he hasn’t talked himself into prison.

I never expect him to spend a day in prison. Us normal folk would’ve been thrown in such a deep hole we’d never be mentioned again.

Los Angeles Times: “The walkout came in response to the company announcing Thursday that it would no longer require employees to be fully vaccinated against COVID-19 to work in the office, according to an email from Chief Administrative Officer Brian Bulatao that was shared by employees and subsequently posted on Twitter.”

COVID is still a thing and I don’t know about you but I don’t care to have it.

Apparently others are thinking that way.

Bloomberg: “To some, including the 7,500 of Apple’s 165,000 employees who belong to a Slack room dedicated to advocating for remote work, it was bruising. ‘They are trolling us, right?’ one wrote.”

Apple is a fairly backwards company. It’s just in their DNA. They don’t do a lot of things other Silicon Valley companies do. E.G. last I heard, they didn’t have free food, snacks, or even free beverages for their employees. That seems standard fare in most tech companies, but not Apple.

Yeah, it must be amazing working 80 hours a week on an operating system used by millions. But there is way more to life than work.

If you’re at home you can at least somewhat control which 80 hours you work in the week.

Working from home gives me back an hour of commute time a day. I like that. I also love having an afternoon coffee with my wife or having lunch together. It’s just much easier to do random stuff from home.