#the actual sound changes are... not 100% natural but I could always go back and change them again I guess

[bliamapriori]

A smart person would not be backwards engineering their way to a *proto form of language root by way of sound changes for a fanlang they intend to use for the specific purpose I am making it for, but I am neither smart nor someone with the best impulse control so the prospect of elvish > old elvish > classical elvish > ancestral elfish > elfish fey is just something I do so I have something to do with my hands, blissfully ignoring the mountain of designated compound words in the actual version of the lang I mean to use. And yet. Here I am. Daydreaming about the concept of a greater fey language family again.

[idontknowanyonesblog]

Guys I’m so sorry for my inactivity, I know that I have a few requests and I’m working on those but I’ve just been super tired lately 😭

As a little apology I’d like to present you my general head cannons for the bayverse bots (AOE and TLK)

Bumblebee:

•Super sweet like I mean this mech would travel galaxies for you. He takes I love you to the moon and back to a whole other level.

•Once he accidentally saw you changing and he literally covered his eyes and ran away while making embarrassed little wiring sounds

•He LOVES taking you out on drives. It’s his favourite way to spend time with you. Drive through the countryside? YES! Drive through the mountains? ALSO YES! He just loves driving around with you.

•He seems like the kinda mech to play some corny ass love song if you’re upset. You could balling your eyes out and he’ll just start playing a song and you just look at him like “Are you actually serious right now?” But it’s okay cus he loves you so much and you love him.

•This one’s just for fun

One time Crosshairs mentioned something about having more “fleshies” around here and Bumblebee through a very large piece of scrap metal at him. Crosshairs literally tumbled down to the ground.

Crosshairs:

•He’s such an asshole like it’s really infuriating. Not asshole in like a mean way but if you do something remotely embarrassing he’s gonna remind you about for months. If you have allergies (like me😕) he’s probably gonna laugh his ass off as you repeatedly sneeze and say something along the lines of “this isn’t funny…” and the fact that your voice is all is all messed up just makes him laugh harder.

•He can actually be really romantic. I know he can’t take you out for a candle lit dinner but he’ll take you to beautiful places in nature and you two will just sit there and talk. He loves to take you stargazing, it’s just so peaceful. Half the time he isn’t even looking at the stars though, he’s just looking down at you with a smile.

•He’ll pick a fight with anyone, like I mean anyone. He even gets into fights with Drift (and normally looses). His favourite person to pick a fight with is Bumblebee though, he just loves to terrorize that poor yellow mech. You have apologized to Bumblebee on multiple occasions for Crosshairs actions.

•He’s actually super lovey dovey but won’t admit it. He’s constantly complimenting you and asking if you wanna spend time with him, he’s always carrying you around and holding you as if your going to disappear if he doesn’t cling to you for dear life

•This one’s just for fun

He stole one of Hounds grenades once and was like “Hey watch this!” and when you told him that it wouldn’t be a good idea to throw a literal explosive at a bunch of old cars he was just like “Nah I got this.” Well he blew up a large quarter of the junkyard that day and Cade was very pissed.

Drift (MY MAN😘😻):

•Drift is everything you could possibly want in a man. He’s so nice, caring, charming, nonjudgmental, handsome, intelligent, considerate, loyal and excellent at listening. However he does have a bit of a temper problem and can be quite stubborn.

•Drift hates seeing you upset, he will never forgive himself if he makes you cry. He’d do anything to make you feel better. If you’re upset he’s there to listen and give you advice.

•He loves taking walks with you, it’s his favourite thing to do and if you don’t wanna walk he’ll gladly carry you on his shoulder. If you wanna meditate or be with him while he’s meditating you better get ready for your wedding day because you basically just asked him to marry you.

•He adores you with all his spark, he thinks that he doesn’t deserve such a beautiful being like you. Get ready to constantly get showered by compliments and poems about how much he loves you. If you ever for once say something about how your insecure Drift will fix that in seconds! He’ll kiss you softly while murmuring praises to you until you have to say that you’re 100 percent fine now.

•For fun:

The mini dino bots were annoying him once and he tried to slice them in half. He almost succeeded until you walked by and all 3 of the little creatures hid behind you. Drift just kinda stared at you with a guilty expression, his sword still high in the air ready to strike. He sighed put his sword back as you scolded him for trying to kill the poor things.

Hound:

He’s not very romantic sorry guys😭

But he tries…sort of. He just doesn’t see the need in taking you out somewhere for a date night. If it bothered you and you told him about then he would actually put in some effort. He wants you to be happy so he’ll put aside his feelings on sappy romance and start taking you out on long drives through the countryside.

He’s really funny so if you ever feel sad just talk to him. He’s also good at giving advice, like surprisingly good at it. He’ll just give you a really good piece of advice and then act like he didn’t even say anything at all.

Sometimes he just drops random lore whenever you tell him story. Once you’re done talking he’ll just say something like “oh yeah that reminds me of the time I once killed 3 decepticons with my bare hands.” And you’ll just stare at him dumbfounded.

For fun:

One time Drift was pissing him off with his haikus and stuff so Hound grabbed his sword and just chucked it as far as he could. Drift just stood there, watching as his sword flew to the other side of the junkyard.

Once they heard the sword crash down into a pile of scrap metal Drift just gave him a nasty look and sighed before walking away to go get it back.

Bonus points because the sword almost Crosshairs.

Optimus:

He’s romantic but not in a cheesy way, more of in a “Let me buy you a very expensive bottle of wine so that we can take it back to your place and drink it over a candle lit dinner.” kinda way. Definitely a gentleman through and through.

He cares about you so much that it’s almost a little too much. He wants to know that you’re safe and sound, that you can sleep peacefully every night without a worry in the world.

He loves listening to you. He loves your voice so much. He’ll put you on his shoulder and let you ramble for hours. No matter what you wanna talk about he just wants to listen and be there for you.

For fun:

One time Bumblebee convinced you to go on a drive with him but he ended up speeding and running away from the cops. You called Cade and told me what happened and of course he snitched to Optimus. When the two of you got back Optimus was not very happy with you guys. Bumblebee got scolded for a good 20 minutes and you just ran away before Optimus could even bring up the situation.

Hot Rod:

Hot Rod is such a cutie, he’s so kind, loving, caring and romantic! He’s the definition of a true gentleman. “Hey Hot Rod can we go on a dri-“ you don’t even have to finish your sentence because he’s already in his alt mode.

He always talks about how much he hates his French accent but you love it. It’s charming, cute and it just sounds so good to you. He knows you love it and he uses that to his advantage. Whenever he wants something he’ll start calling you by amour and chérie.

He’s SO romantic, he could possibly be even more lovey and sappy than Bumblebee. Since he lives in a big ass castle where he can roam freely it gives him a larger variety of things you guys can do.

For fun:

You were in your room once and he came to see you, he tapped on the window and it just completely shattered. You jumped up from your bed and looked over at him and he stared at you awkwardly. For a while you just gave him a disapproving stare until he apologized and said he’ll find a way to fix it.

By the way guys I’m so sorry for not being active for a few weeks, but I promise I’ll get back to writing very soon!

[lu-is-not-ok]

Lu's Guide to Sin Analysis

Welp, since my brain is too focused on having K Corp Hong Lu go full unga bunga in Mirror Dungeons to write full analyses, I decided I might as well give something else to all the people starving for Limbus Theory content.

So, here we are. A basic guide on how I approach the Sin Analysis portion of my analyses, covering my personal interpretations for each Sin, as well as how to use those when analysing both E.G.Os and Identities.

That way, ya'll can dabble in doing some of this on your own when I'm too busy grinding my way to 400 hours of play time on Limbus to write up full analyses.

Sounds good? Awesome. Under the cut we go, wheeeee!

Sin Interpretations

Let's start with the most important part - the Sins themselves.

I want you to take a moment and think about your own associations with those Sins. Perhaps your immediate thought is to take the words used literally. Maybe you immediately think back to the Biblical ideas of the Seven Deadly Sins. Mayhaps there's some other media you know that also uses Sins in some way, which you subconsciously default to when thinking about them.

Whatever those associations are, I want you to throw them away.

That's right. Whatever is telling you that Lust = Horny, Wrath = Angry, Envy = Jealous, etc, etc? Throw all of those preconcieved notions away.

This is the biggest mistake I see people make when trying to analyse Identities and E.G.O based on their Sins - they assume that those Sins have the same meanings in the context of Limbus as the popular, more common interpretations of them.

And while, sure, some of them can definitely overlap with what one would expect them to be, I think relying on those during analysis instead of trying to understand what the game itself is trying to tell us by using those Sins as symbols is doing its storytelling a massive disservice.

Do I think my personal interpretations of the Sins are a 100% accurate reading? No, of course not. I can't see into the mind of Kim Ji-Hoon or whoever else at Project Moon might have been the mastermind behind deciding what Sins connect to what. I have no way of knowing what exactly they intended here.

However, I do wish to believe that my interpretations not only strive to meet the game's storytelling on its own terms, but also hopefully make further analysis based on those interpretations a bit easier to wrap one's head around.

...God I really need to stop writing massive preambles and just get to the fucking point.

So let's actually get to The Fucking Point. Sin Interpretations, one by one. Let's fucking do it.

Wrath

The flames of revolution burn bright in the face of cold winds.

Wrath is the Sin of self-righteousness and defiance. To act with Wrath is to decide that one deserves better, that things around then should bend to their will, and then take matters into their own hands. It's the Sin of deciding one has the right to change something simply because they don't like the current state of things.

There are many ways one can act because of Wrath. It can show through trying to rebel against authority, to subvert one's fate, to escape one's unfavorable circumstances, or to even reject one's own true nature. To act with Wrath is to stand up for oneself and tell reality "No, I refuse!" loud and clear.

A common misconception of Wrath is the idea that anger is an inherent part of it. While it's true that those feelings often coincide with defiance, they're not required for one's acts to be fueled by Wrath. Some can be Wrathful while being completely calm and collected, as their acts of defiance could be more on the quiet and simmering side.

Likewise, being quick to anger isn't always a sign of Wrath. It's very possible for someone to have a short temper, while also being fully accepting of the reality they live in (Ryoshu, I am looking directly at you), thus lacking Wrath.

Lust

One's base insticts go all the way back to that genetic code.

Lust is the Sin of self-indulgence. It's the Sin of letting one's own desires and whims dictate one's actions. It's also the Sin of seeking personal fulfillment above all else. To act with Lust is to give up one's self-control and let one's instincts and wants guide them.

Unlike what the name and symbol might initially imply, Lust can include many different types of desires, not just the carnal.

Likewise, acts of Lust can be just as varied as one's desires. Satisfying one's most basic of needs, searching for a form of spiritual enlightenment, or even just saying the first thing that comes to mind because one feels like it are just a few examples.

Sloth

A stone will not care for what happens to it, nor the world around it.

Sloth is the Sin of apathy and resignation. Unlike other Sins, which mostly show through one's direct actions, Sloth can also show through inaction.

To act with Sloth is to ignore reality, to let oneself go along with whatever is happening with barely any complaints. As such, Sloth is commonly associated with blind obedience or unwillingness to act out.

Due to its nature as a Sin of resignation, Sloth can be seen as the direct opposite of Wrath, the Sin of defiance. This creates a unique situation where the inclusion of one can drastically shift the context of the other if both are a part of the same Identity or E.G.O.

Gluttony

Plants never stop waging wars, always wanting just a little bit more.

Gluttony is the Sin of hunger, and it's unique from the other Sins in that it equally represents two different ideas of that hunger, which can appear together just as often as they can be completely seperated.

The first type of Gluttony is one of the starving hunger of survival. In this context, to act with Gluttony is to do anything for the sake of scraping by and living to see another day.

The second type of Gluttony is the hunger for more, or in other words: greed. In this context, to act with Gluttony is to do everything for the sake of this idea of "more". To gain more wealth, to find more recognition, to make more progress.

Both of these types of Gluttony are unified in one main point - they are, by definition, endless. The struggle for survival never ends, unless one fails to survive. Likewise, there is no finite "more" that greed is reaching towards, it's a neverending process of one-upmanship.

Gloom

When a wave of emotion rises, many will be swept away in its wake.

Gloom is the Sin of dwelling on feelings. To act with Gloom is to be guided by one's negative emotions, to buckle under stress and let it control one's mind and actions.

While sadness, grief, and depression are the states of mind most commonly associated with Gloom, and are often a part of it, they're not inherent to it. The only "requirement" here is the experience of severe emotional duress, and acting out in direct response to it.

In a way, Gloom is the Sin of losing control over oneself, not dissimilar to Lust. However, the main difference here is the cause of losing that control. Gloom is the loss of self-control due to being overwhelmed by negative experiences, while Lust is the loss of self-control due to seeking out positive experiences.

Pride

Be careful, for that double-edged sword may cut you as well.

Pride is the Sin of ignoring consequences. Acts of Pride are all actions taken because of the belief that their benefits outweigh the cost in some way. While the most common way this can present is through actions that benefit oneself at the cost of others, it's not the only way Pride can manifest.

One can be Prideful when believing the benefit to many outweighs the consequences. Likewise, refusing to acknowledge the harm one brings to themself because their actions benefit them in some other way also counts as Pride.

The idea that Pride is inherently tied to selfishness or self-confidence is another common misconception. In fact, Prideful acts can manifest just as often from a lack of self-confidence or a misguided selflessness. Rather, one could interpret Pride as a form of willful ignorance, in a way.

Envy

Thorns don't go out of their way to harm, they merely react to your touch.

Envy is the Sin of reaction and retribution. It's the idea of doing something because of what someone else has done. By definition, one cannot act with Envy without some form of provocation.

Like is the case with many other Sins, acts of Envy can take many forms, from taking revenge to following orders. The main connecting idea here is letting oneself be influenced by another person, whether it's being coerced, provoked, ordered, or otherwise manipulated.

Out of all of the Sin misconceptions, seeing Envy as inherently tied to jealousy might be the worst one of all. While acts done out of jealousy would likely count as acts of Envy, they are but a miniscule part of the sheer scope that Envy represents.

...

Alright, so you know what each of those Sins means. Now it's time to figure out how to Actually Apply Them.

Sin Affinities in the context of Identities

The main way Sins play a role in a given Sinner's Identity is through their Sin Affinities. Mechanically, these are the Sins attributed to each of their skills, signifying both their type of Sin damage and what Sin resource they generate upon being used.

However, this is Project Moon we're talking about, and these fuckers can't keep their gameplay mechanics seperate from the story to save their lives.

So, this begs the question: what can we learn about a Sinner's given Identity through their Sin Affinities?

Here is the method that I believe works best in my experience:

The Sin affinities of each of an Identity's skills represent a different layer of their psyche and motivations. I'm going to try to show what I mean by using base Identities of the four Sinners who already had their own Canto.

Skill 1's Sin Affinity is the surface level motivation of the Sinner's actions. This is the most obvious and "shallow" reading of them and their actions, and also likely the one the Sinners themselves are most aware of.

Gregor's Skill 1 is Gloom due to him being constatly haunted by his trauma, with much of his cynicism and dark-ish sense of humor being shaped by his war experiences. Rodya's Skill 1 is Gluttony due to her tendency to value material goods and love for food, which are signs of her greed and will to survive respectively. Sinclair's Skill 1 is Pride due to him taking many actions (such as sharing his father's secrets or giving Kromer his basement key) for their immediate benefits, without considering the consequences. Yi Sang's Skill 1 is Gloom due to him falling into deep depression and letting the trauma of the past shape his current actions.

Skill 2's Sin Affinity is a deeper motivation of the Sinner's actions. It's delving deeper into their psyche to see what guides them in less obvious ways. This Sin Affinity can also have noticeably closer ties to the Sinner's background in one way or another.

Gregor's Skill 2 is Gluttony due to him being driven by the will to survive, most notably expressed by him leaving the rest of the veterans to escape the war and try to live after it ended. Rodya's Skill 2 is Pride due to her fully believing in what she does working out in her favor, completely ignoring consequences on the way. Her killing the pawnbroker is the biggest example of an act of Pride, as she fully believed that it would help her neighbourhood despite the consequences that murder would bring. Sinclair's Skill 2 is Wrath due to him not accepting his circumstances. His want to defy his future prosthetics procedure is what eventually led him to agreeing with Kromer, and his will to defy her is what drove him through the events of his chapter. Yi Sang's Skill 2 is Envy due to his passive nature and how easily he lets other people dictate his actions. It's especially notable in how after the League fell apart, he would have been willing to do anything Gubo told him at that moment.

Skill 3's Sin Affinity is what I would like to call a Sinner's Core Sin. It's the true main reason behind their actions, and has a much closer and direct tie into their past than the other Sin Affinities. In a way, this is the deepest layer of their psyche.

Gregor's Skill 3 is Sloth as his resignation to his circumstances is what colors much of his past. He learned that resistance is futile early in life, and it shows. Though he didn't want to fight in the war, he felt like he had no choice but to. All of his life, he simply listened to orders without complaint, unable to see a way to change his situation. Rodya's Skill 3 is Wrath as her self-righteousness and defiance is what drove her actions at the deepest level. She first joined the Yurodiviye because she wanted to bring change the state of her neighbourhood, and likewise left them when she no longer agreed with how they did things. Her murder of the pawnbroker was her biggest act of defiance, of taking matters into her own hands and trying to bring change to her reality at all cost. Sinclair's Skill 3 is Envy as much of his actions were dictated by other people. Social pressure was what led to him first breaching the trust of his family, and Kromer's coercion and manipulation is what then led to his family's death. In a way, you could also interpret Sinclair's arc in Canto III as one big act of Envy, as he finally tries to take revenge on Kromer for what she has done. Yi Sang's Skill 3 is Sloth as his apathy to the reality around him is what led to him ignoring the warnings signs of the League falling apart, and the resignation that followed could have resulted in him helping Gubo and the New League out with their horrible plans had there not been an intervention. It's only by the end of Canto IV that he finally manages to break out of this state for long enough to stand up for himself and decide to keep on living.

So, that's the basics of Sin Affinities when it comes to Identities! Now, some of you might be asking, "Hey Lu, what about Sin resources needed for Passives?", and my answer to that is...

Honestly, I don't entirely know! I do think there probably is some reason beyond pure gameplay mechanics... Buuuuut I don't think their importance is as major as the main Sin Affinities of a given Identity, especially since there isn't a single Passive that is activated by a Sin that the given Identity doesn't have any Affinity to.

Sin Affinities in the context of E.G.Os

Alright, so, when it comes to E.G.O, we run into some additional complexities. Unlike Identities, which can usually have their Sins Analysed with minimal additional context, E.G.O Sin Analysis has to be done under a specific angle.

This is because while Identities represent the Sinner as a whole person, E.G.Os represent a specific singular part of that Sinner.

Base E.G.Os usually seem to tie back to a specific event or action or some other thing in that Sinner's past. Likewise, E.G.Os derived from Abnormalities represent the ways that Sinner connects to that Abnormality's own themes.

In a way, the game's worldbuilding even acknowledges the fact that a Sinner can only use the E.G.O of an Abnormality they relate to in some way, as Dante's Notes describe the process of the Sinners using E.G.O as trying to make the Abnormality's emotions and identity their own.

That little tangent aside, there are two main things to analyze sin-wise when it comes to E.G.O - the Sin Affinity, and the Sin Resources necessary to use that E.G.O.

An E.G.O Sin Affinity works similarly to an Identity's Sin Affinities - for a Base E.G.O, it's the main Sin that action manifests as. For an Abno-derived E.G.O, it's the Sin that contextulizes the way the Abno's themes connect to the Sinner in question.

The Sin Resources an E.G.O needs is where things get fun. These are what a Sinner needs to be able to use the E.G.O, both mechanically AND story-wise. The Sins here represent what a Sinner has as their motivation and drive to fully reflect what that E.G.O represents. For Base E.G.Os, it's why they took the actions they did. For Abno E.G.Os, it's why they connect to that Abno's themes and why they're able to relate to it.

Now... There is one more thing about E.G.Os that I don't really talk about.

Sin Resistances.

The reason why I don't talk about them... Is because I have No Fucking Clue how to interpret them. There has to be some importance to them (Hong Lu being weak to Wrath in all of his E.G.O thus far, I am looking at you), I just don't know what it is. In fact, I doubt we even have enough information available to us right now to be able to say for sure.

I don't know how to end these posts dear fucking lord-

So uh. Yeah. That's. Everything that I think is important to mention on the topic of Sin Analysis and how I do it. If I ever change my mind on something or have an epiphany regarding one of the things I currently have no idea about, I'll probably reblog this post with an addendum or something, but until then...

Uh. Yeah. Hope this helps the people who wanna get into analyzing Limbus stuff but don't know where to begin. Or just people who wanna understand the method to my madness a little bit better.

I'm gonna go to sleep now, cause it's 4 AM already and I spent like the whole fucking night writing this post.

[raptorladylover6969]

Very specific and random ass things ive noticed abt The Handler that I find very epicly epic

-The concave of her maxilla, and the baggy droopiness of her eyes looks just like that of her atrociraptors, and their skull shapes, which I LOVEEEE

-(This one which was a quote from Scott himself) Her freckles are supposed to represent reptilian scales.

-Her looks resemble that of medieval-European beauty standards. (a high forehead was the SHIT back then, when women would also pluck their eyebrows to enhance it.)

-In the show, she seems to look “out of place.” Like she doesn’t belong there, which is because out of all the human characters, she’s the most hyper-realistic which adds to the uncanny vibes we get from her. Like the way we can see the little details and blemishes in her skin, the cracks in her lips, the little chips of her teeth, the redness of her eyes, the facial muscles that contort and stretch so naturally with each movement, she looks TOO REAL to be in a show like Chaos Theory.

-If you look closely at her brows, they are always narrowed, she always has one fixed expression with them, which only changes when she feels stronger emotions, like the ones which we did see her showcase: anger, frustration, excitement?? (realizing the n5 were in the warehouse with her, she did look pretty joyous from finding them and making her job much more easier.) and guilt.

-She blinks very hard and slow…like a reptile, and on the topic of blinking she actually blinks A LOT considering the little screen time she has. (so when someone says “omg she doesnt blink..” theyre lying, she does 💀 shes a human guys even HER eyes get dry sometimes 😞😞)

-The way she slowly turns her head, her pupils almost unmoving is like that of an owl.

-Her perfect posture which never faults unless injured or forced to. Ough its so creepy…

-She’s actually PRETTY TALL. Comparing her to the atrociraptors height (2 metres, 6.6ft when standing tall) shes like around a foot and a half shorter. She could be around Ben’s height, or like an inch or two shorter. (Also compared to Jensen, she’s like 6 or 5 inches taller 💀)

-Her undercut. I love it. I don’t know, it just brings me such joy seeing her silly undercut like HEHEHEHHE I wanna touch her hair it looks so silky and soft but ik damn well that ho 100% uses sum like 12 in 1 soap or sum cheap dollarstore soap since shes always on the go 🙁

-The aura she radiates the second she walks into a room, she’s able to silence the big carnivorous dinosaurs. SHE SILENCED A CARNOTAURUS AND IT LIKE, DROPPED ITS HEAD. Its like death itself looms around her. Wherever she goes, death and destruction follow, and the other dinos can sense it.

-She SWINGS her arms a lot when she walks, not like a little sway like she’s swinging them hoes. Idk if im just crazy but her arms seem to be a sorta big focus? Like the amount of camera zooms on her arms and hands, the way she sways them when she walks, them being the only part of her skin showing other than her collarbone, being knocked unconscious, thats the only other thing visible, her left arm being injured after getting run over. A R M S. (Now that I think abt it, her left arm being injured after getting hit, BROOKLYNN’S LEFT ARM BEING INJURED…was that supposed to be a foreshadow for Brooklynn having a missing arm…)

-Idk how literally no one pointed this out but at the s1 finale, after the showdown, and when she realizes that her raptors are too hurt to continue fighting, a few seconds after she hugs Ghost, when Ghost walks away, The Handler makes this little “hmph 😞” sound AND ITS SO GRGRGGRGRGRGR LIKE SHE SOUNDS SO DISAPPOINTED AND SAD AND GUILTY BUT ALSO RELIEVED AT THE SAME TIME CUZ HER RAPTORS ARE OKAYISH URGGHHHHH 🙁🙁🙁🙁

-When Tiger and Panthera call out to her when they’re injured 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁

-The way she walks into frame, and stares at Brooklynn before blowing the whistle…its like, WHY? Why did she do that for Brooklynn and not the others?? To pop out and make herself known; did she want herself to be the last thing Brooklynn sees? Was she sure she was gonna die? Does she only pop out when she’s like 90% sure her victims will die? Does THAT mean she sometimes has doubts about if the job will go well or not? Is she secretly full of self-doubt? I mean, she is a very calculated person. Scanning perimeters before acting, cutting down the alarm system at Darius’s cabin, killing off any and all witnesses, it would be strange for her to not have some sort of doubt or paranoia that the job won’t go well. Jensen did said she was “being paranoid” when he was in Ronnie’s house.

-So if I were to carve out a specific personality for her based on that alone, she could be a perfectionist, assertive yet a bit doubtful, paranoid, resilient, relentless, carefully-calculated person.

For a character who only appeared in 3 (4 technically if you count the end of Down on the Ranch) episodes out of 20, she’s a VERY interesting individual, and its clear the writers/artists for her character had to think very creatively and critically about her to make her so impactful to the series for such a mysterious character.

[lycandrophile]

hey, sorry idk if its ok for me to ask for advice here, but im really lost and dont know where else to go.

i might be starting testosterone really soon, (via informed consent) but i keep flipping back and forth on whether or not i'm sure i want it. some days i think, "yes 100% im a man i want T right now" and thinking abt the effects of T makes me euphoric. other days i think, "wait AM i sure tho? what if it turns out i hate it actually" and thinking abt the effects of T on those days makes me anxious and ambivalent.

i think it might be just a fear of change, but i'm not sure, and i'm worried about making a decision i'll regret forever. it doesnt help i keep seeing ppl say things like "you need to be 100% sure you want hrt before u start because going back and forth puts a huge strain on the body" etc, but i dont know if i ever will be 100% sure.

what do you make of this? do i really need to be 100% sure? am i rushing in too fast? or is this just anxiety talking?

i spent years agonizing over if i was really sure that i wanted to start t, and you know what it taught me?

no one is ever 100% sure about anything. it’s an impossible task. that’s just not how people work — you’re always going to find more things to be anxious or unsure about when you think about it because it’s an unknown thing and it’s completely natural to be at least a little unsure of unknown things.

and most of the time, nobody expects you to be 100% sure about big decisions because we all know it’s an unfair expectation. nobody told me i couldn’t go to college because i wasn’t 100% sure where i wanted to go. nobody tells you to never drive anywhere because you’re not 100% sure that the car won’t crash. accepting risk is a part of life. trusting ourselves to make the best decisions we can — and trusting ourselves to be able to handle whatever happens next — is an unavoidable part of life.

the only reason we’re held to that impossible standard of 100% certainty when it comes to medically transitioning is because people are transphobic and they want us to second guess ourselves and put off hormones or surgery out of fear. if everyone waited until they were 100% sure, no one would ever transition, and that’s exactly what they want.

i look at it like this: hormones are like any other medication. you take them because you decide they have a good shot at making your life better even though there’s also a chance they might be ineffective, have bad side effects, or even make things worse in the end. we accept that risk every time we take a medication because we weigh the options and decide the good that could come of them is worth that risk. imagine if doctors only offered medical care to people when they were 100% sure it would work and not have any side effects — they would never do anything at all!

i can’t tell you if hrt is right for you. i can’t tell you if the risk is worth it for you. what i can tell you is that, when i was unsure about what to do, there were two things that made me decide it was worth the risk:

the first is that i knew i wanted to give myself a chance. the idea of going on hormones only to get more dysphoria from it sounded terrifying, but the reality was that i was already living with dysphoria! and the idea of just accepting that because i was afraid to try the thing that could make it better was even more terrifying. at the end of the day, i decided it was better to choose the option that could make things better than it was to just spend the rest of my life wondering if it would’ve helped. the worst case scenario in both choices is dysphoria, so i figured, why not pick the option where the best case scenario is euphoria? i know dysphoria is something i can live with because i’ve been doing it for years, so i felt that i could trust myself to be able to deal with that outcome if it came. i knew it was possible that i would regret it and wish i had never started t, but i also knew i would regret it even more if i went my whole life never having given myself a chance at something better than the dysphoria i already live with. i figured, if i have to take a risk, why not take the one that excites me instead of the one i would just be taking out of fear?

the second is that hormones are fucking slow. there can be some changes that happen fast but for the most part, the changes on t take time to happen fully, and if i wanted even more time i knew i could take a lower dose to slow things down further. it’s not like you just wake up one day with a totally different body — it’s a process, and if at any point in that process you realize you don’t like what’s happening, you can stop! you’re completely in control; the second it starts to feel like it’s making something worse instead of better, you can decide to stop taking it. even with the changes that came quickest for me, i had time to assess as they started happening, and it would’ve been as simple as putting down the syringe and never using it again if i decided i didn’t want those changes to continue.

(and the people who say you can’t start and stop because of the strain on your body are exaggerating — i had to start and stop multiple times because i was having allergic reactions to all of the serums we tried, and i was totally fine. that was never even a concern my nurse brought up to me. i’m sure it’s not ideal to do that constantly, but i don’t think it’s a big thing you have to worry about.)

again, i can’t tell you if starting t is the right move for you. all of this is just how i made that decision for myself; i can’t make yours for you. what i can tell you is that you are more than capable of making a thoughtful and informed decision without being 100% sure. certainty is not a requirement.

and frankly, anyone who tells you they were 100% sure when they made that decision is either lying about it because they feel like they should’ve been totally certain, or they were in a position to make the decision so quickly that it didn’t leave time to mull things over and find things to be unsure of.

which leads me to my final point: if you’re thinking about it this hard and trying to be this meticulous about making the right decision, you’re absolutely not rushing into it. whatever decision you make, you’ve clearly put a lot of thought into it and that’s all anyone can ask of you.

this is your decision, not anyone else’s, and already you have everything you need to make the best decision you possibly can. trust yourself to choose wisely, and trust yourself to be able to handle whatever your choice brings. you got this.

[alatismeni-theitsa]

This might be a weird question but I’m first Generation Greek diaspora in Canada and I often feel disconnected from my culture. I have found out that I’m non-binary in some way and I want to change my name because it’s a very feminine name. However, it’s also a very Greek name, and I feel like erasing it in place of some WASP or USian name would make me feel even more disconnected from my culture. I’ve been looking online for Greek unisex name lists but they always have names that no Greek actually has or are not unisex. I know that we have a problem with naming people the same thing, I think like 50% of the Greek girls I meet are named Maria or some variant of it, but I have met some cool names people. Still, I want to choose a name that reflects my culture and my identity and I haven’t come out to my family yet so I can’t ask them. Anyways, I was just wondering if you could think of any off the top of your head or if you could recommend a baby name list. Sorry if this is hard I don’t mean to stress you out, I just don’t have many people who I can talk to about Greek culture

Hi! Perhaps you could go with Χάρις which is feminine but also sounds like Χάρης, the masculine name. ;) Or some other modern Greek names that end in -ις. (Which.... tbh I can't think of anything atm 😂) But feel free to check some and come back to ask if you can use them nowadays.

I am not non-binary and I don't have the energy or time to go to queer Greek spaces although I belong there 😅 This is to say that I am not aware of any solution that the Greek ΛΟΑΤΚΙ+ community has found for this. And that anyone who knows what's going on can fill us in.

The explanation/context:

It's true that Greek names are gendered so I cannot find anything from the top of my mind to suggest :/ I was about to suggest some more "powerful" Greek names (like Alexandra) but that would also suggest that there are "masculine" and "feminine" traits that belong only to a certain gender. I don't want to imply that war or physical power is strictly a "masculine" thing ya know, or that a "Maria" is automatically feminine and cannot be assertive or even fire a gun. Traits don't have "feminine" and "masculine" vibes to me, they are just human traits. After all, Greek women are known for their resilience and toughness, the ability to terrify anyone with merely a stare and a slipper/stick, and their fierceness when they make it into military ranks.

Tbh I think Greeks experience being non-binary beyond names. Names can be irrelevant. E.g. you can have a feminine or a masculine name and still be non-binary. English speakers often make a fuss about what names are masculine and feminine but I haven't seen Greeks care much about it. Greeks don't argue about what names are "more feminine". That's not how we see names and that's not how we connect them with gender. No one cares if they call you Melina and you have 100 piercings and ride a motorcycle. So in this society there's no thought to get rid of your name if it doesn't "match" your actions or basic expression.

Ofc you can change your name for whatever reason. I am only speaking on the Greek mindset about names and gender. The Greek non-binary people I've met in Greece go by their gendered baptism names. In online spaces only they go by English names, or just by their initials, as the English trend is.

Sometimes I also suspect that there are differences between what feels non-binary for a Greek and what feels non-binary for a Canadian. I might be completely wrong here, but I am letting this thought out there to see if there are indeed different perspectives. For example, I've felt a difference between local queerness in some cases, like when USians see a Greek woman with "αγορέ" short hair and...average person movements (not feminine or masculine I mean, just a person existing), and immediately switch to "they/them". Meanwhile for Greek society this person naturally falls into the "default woman" category and we wouldn't see any reason to not use she/her. (I'm talking about cases where the person also doesnt say anywhere that they are non-binary or that they use they/them pronouns.)

In aaaaany case, our societal norms, our histories, and presentations are not the same and for this reason I also applaud your decision to choose a name that reflects your culture and identity. As people we are a mix of many things and our characteristics carry a cultural flavour.

Given all this, and driven by practicality, I would say that it would be better to go with a feminine name (because of your physical presentation) but choose whatever feels better for you. Don't think of Greek names for females as "more or less" feminine, since that's not the Greek way of thinking.

More suggestions:

You can choose a name that honours your values, or a characteristic that you want to have or you are proud that you have. You can choose names that express concepts, like "wisdom" (Σοφία), "love" (Αγάπη), "freedom" (Ελευθερία/Ρία), "hope" (Ελπίδα), "salvation" (Σωτηρία), "reign" (Βασιλεία), "happy/beloved" (Ασπασία), grace (Χάρις).

Just because these words are feminine, it doesn't mean that they are feminine traits. They are feminine GRAMMATICALLY. Something that English speakers might not understand is that gendered language doesn't mean that you assign gender to things. Heck, even the chair is a feminine noun in Greek but no one suggests there's any feminine about a chair 😂"Dick" (yes the genitals) can also be a feminine word. (η πούτσα) Like, the feminine pronoun doesn't mean anything.

Sure, the connection between names and sex is strong in Greek, but not in the sense English speakers (or people who speak neutral-gender languages) might think. We can recognise Greek sexism and separatism but at the same time I think it's important to understand that each society sees different traits in the sexes and genders.

You could also choose names like "farmer" (Γιωργία, to suggest that you like to work the earth), or the name of some Greek goddess, or some Greek saint to show that you have their attributes. Or the name of an empress, or the name of an emperor but in its feminine version (e.g. Κωνσταντίνα). Maybe the name of a Muse, if you are a creative.

That's it from me 💙 Sorry to have delayed this answer but I needed to think a lot, and life doesn't let me think or answer to asks a lot these days. I hope I managed to help even a little bit.

=====================================

As I said, I am not non-binary, and I don't want to speak over non-binary people. I am answering this because you said that you don't have lots of people to talk about these things, and perhaps it's better to have someone queer say some stuff about it. As always, more opinions are welcome in the comments and reblogs. I don't have all the knowledge in the world.

[qroier]

edited my post from yesterday on spiderbit eurydice and orpheus to be clearer. it is now. way longer klsdjfk. but the idea is the same. anyway enjoy reading if you do and uh. pues f if you don't, no? lskdfjsdk. kinda already mentioned it in the post but should clarify here that i'm 100% talking about the greek myth.

-

Thinking about spiderbit as eurydice and orpheus is so interesting to me, cause I think depending on how you look at it and how you think of the story, there's an argument for both. And then you remember everything that was purgatory and how clear of a parallel it is to the myth hdksjdks. Honestly though, I feel like the purgatory parallels are the biggest reason roier cubito as orpheus is winning out on that one poll, and I kinda have to disagree with that. The evidence for orpheus roier is there from the start. Roier cubito is always and forever a perfect, permanent orpheus figure even before considering purgatory, and it's down to the devotion roier and orpheus cling to and the grief they both drown in. (The rest under the read more)

Backtracking first for a bit to set the stage. There are many different versions of the eurydice and orpheus myth out there, and its nature as a myth means that interpretations (and translations of any original latin or greek versions) are always changing. Disclaimer of course that my understanding and general knowledge of the myth has been mainly influenced by the wider english-speaking cultural approach to it. I'm focusing on the orpheus archtype from my understanding of what it means (which I'll explain along the way) because otherwise if I didn't I'd end up getting too boggled down in "virgil said this according to this translation" and "ovid went more in this direction following this translator" details. and there is no way in hell i'm struggling through translating on my own with my measle little two years of latin classes under my belt lskdjfkldfj.

But regardless, here's a very basic and brief summary that most versions tend to follow: Eurydice and orpheus are married. Eurydice dies. Orpheus treks out to the underworld through the power of music to save her and get her back. He's told the only way he can have her is if he makes the treacherous trip back to the mortal realm without turning to look at her once. He looks back right before he makes it, and fails in saving her. Sounds familiar, right? slkdjfsk

Don't get me wrong, orpheus cellbit still makes sense in a way. That's part of why the poll and idea in general is so interesting. Heed the disclaimer again but to me, the biggest, most obvious, and most immediately linked connotation the myth has always had is one of devotion. Like the type of devotion that would take you all the way into the afterlife and all the way back in the hopes that that might save the person you love. Cellbit cubito is nothing if not devoted, and normally in the loudest ways possible. He loves shouting out his devotion at all times to anyone in close proximity. It just makes sense that if anyone could hold the level of devotion necessary to be orpheus it'd be him, cause we all know he'd do anything for roier.

Plus being honest, it also makes sense just going by the dynamics in their relationship that they most often present to others. Roier cubito kinda likes playing into the dynamic of asking other people to "save" him, whether that's from mobs or hunger or anything, so long as it's not something actually serious. So much so that the idiot (said lovingly) has conditioned everyone, and I do mean everyone, both islanders and audience alike, into thinking he's defenseless and needs saving. Maxo put it best that one time when he said he felt like roier after cellbit saved him from some mobs, only for cellbit to have to correct him and say that it's usually the other way around. As far as most are concerned, cellbit does the rescuing while roier gleefully asks for the help. It is very easy to make the jump from the idea that eurydice is being saved and the image of roier cubito calling out for help with a scorpion that he could (normally at least, I know he didn't have any weapons or gear that one time during purgatory) bring down on his own. It definitely doesn't help that cellbit is, of course and as always, already running to roier with a weapon in hand to kill the scorpion. At the first chance, he's already trying to help. Anything for his husband.

So it makes sense that orpheus cellbit, who clearly loves doing the saving, would drag himself through hell in his devotion to save eurydice roier, who loves being the one saved! But then you start remembering how the story came about. You start wondering, well, why does the devotion need to be so strong? Why does eurydice even need to be saved? What has brought the both of them to the gates of the afterlife? Oh. Right. It's because she died. She's dead. Eurydice, the love of orpheus’ life, is dead. 

Saving her takes and is devotion, yes, but it's also an attempt to escape grief. If she’s saved, there’s no need to mourn. If she’s saved, then she’s not dead and there’s no grief. And, always, there is no one more grief-riddled than roier (except maybe maxo, whose grief has permanently killed him). No one knows more intimately than roier how tough of a fight it is to escape constant grief because he is constantly grieving, and it just keeps getting worse. His number one recurring theme since arriving on the island has been that he will lose loved ones. To the point that sometimes, even if the person is still technically around, the grief around them and the relationship that once was finds ways to persist (just look at the mess that revolved around spreen cubito before he was confirmed to be dead).

The devotion still applies to him too, of course. Even though it's in quieter ways, there's no denying that roier is as equally devoted to cellbit as cellbit is to him. Cellbit once promised roier he'd rescue him if the feds ever arrested him. Roier once told cellbit he'd go after him and wouldn't stop until he got him back if the feds tried taking cellbit again. And that's not even the only time roier has promised that, he's said similar things multiple times before. He even had to fulfill that same promise once already, back during the regret arc when cellbit went missing trying to save felps. If there is one thing that is true, it's that roier is not lacking in orpheusian devotion.

Actually, extending that devotion from being based in romantic love to also including familial love just makes it all the clearer how much of an orpheus roier has already been. Orpheus fights through the journey, holding on to hope and powering himself through devotion, because the alternative of having permanently lost eurydice, of having to succumb to grief, is too much for him to take. Roier fought through the entire island and later a dungeon, holding on to hope and powering himself through devotion, because the alternative of having permanently lost bobby, of having to succumb to the grief of loosing his son to something outside of his control, was too much for him to take.

And then they both fail. Orpheus looks back too early. Sometimes he forgets, in his excitement to be so close to the end, sometimes doubt gets the best of him and he has to check, and sometimes the need to see his love again overwhelms all his senses. Sometimes maybe it's somehow all three. Roier also looked back too early, in a way, but cucurucho only knows what way that actually was. It could have been that he technically did die right at the very end before he could make it through the dungeon, or it could have been that the gods were feeling particularly cruel that day. Either way, bobby wasn't returned to him. Either way, eurydice vanishes in the morning light after orpheus gets one last glimpse of her. Either way, Bobby vanishes behind the door after roier and jaiden are given only 10 minutes to say goodbye.

This is all without even touching on some of the details about how roier's singing charms everyone he meets and how music is such an important part of his character (for those of you unfamiliar with the myth, orpheus' connection to music is so deep that the greeks named a constellation after his lyre). Or, as notes in the last version of this post pointed out, how his previous journeys to the underworld have shaken his faith and trust (which would probably need to be a whole entire other post on its own). 

Roier is just permanent orpheus. He can't help it. If you believe that characters in myths are left behind, endlessly retelling their journeys even once the book is closed, then orpheus is still there, making that trip to the afterlife and back. His story is being retold through roier, who is here now. Roier, who has already gone on two trips to the afterlife and back, already told this story twice before, and is now preparing himself for a third (even a fourth, if you want to extend this whole thing and include purgatory and the eggs). It’s retold in how Roier has to do the saving, again, because he keeps getting left behind. In how he’s always drowning in grief, in some way or another. How he’ll drag himself through the journey every single time if it means a chance at saving someone he loves. If it means saving himself from more grief.

So the stage is set. Purgatory happened. Orpheus has loved, again, and he's lost, again. Roier may like it when he's the one being saved but he's been forced yet again into a position where he has a chance to do the saving. He's facing an increasingly insurmountable mountain of grief on one side and a plunging chance at salvation on the other. The book has been turned back to its first page. The story is rewinding to tell itself again. We know what path he'll pick. Now all that’s left is to see if this third trip succeeds. To see if this retelling is one where orpheus does not look back. And if he does? Well.

"Dying again, [Eurydice] did not blame her husband — What could she complain of except she was loved?" - ovid, translator: stanley lombardo

[edge-oftheworld]

are the natural disasters referenced in 5sosverse songs related to climate change?

love like a landslide (caramel): no. soil erosion/deforestation maybe, so it’s connected

the room is on fire (bloodhound): probably, but not 100% sure

there’s a hole in the sun (tears!): no don’t buy the myth. people use that to pretend climate change doesn’t exist

we burnt the city without warning (red line): that was your own fault. but climate change makes it harder to put the fire out

running underwater, can’t make a sound, it’s drowning it’s drowning me out (close enough to feel you): no evidence of whether it’s a flood or just regular water (same goes with mum and diamonds and baby blue)

something to break the levee, the overflow in my heart (close my eyes): most likely yes. climate change makes floods a lot more common

dark city, can’t find the light in the sun (close my eyes): not really a natural disaster is it? sounds like air pollution

hoping for thunder in these desert eyes (saigon): yes thunderstorms in the desert are more common due to climate change

sun is gone, but you always liked this time of day (place in me): no that’s just a regular sunset time. same goes with the bursting sunrise in comedown

lost in the rubble, but the house stands all the same (repeat): that’s a really weird earthquake so no

so dark and dreary, please find the sun soon (garden life): it could be, or it could just be the weather. not everything needs to be a disaster

I’d set myself on fire (Benny): no I’m pretty sure you just admitted to being at fault

all alone in the city, I’ve never seen it this cold (promises): YES COLD IS ACTUALLY A CONSEQUENCE OF CLIMATE CHANGE IN SOME PLACES

lightning fast at night, whispers in the rain (I’m to blame): maybe partially

two birds on a wire, they don’t know that they’ll catch fire (I’m to blame): not really, this is mostly due to the risk of power lines but climate might have an influence

our house on fire (lonely heart): same as bloodhound. likely

hurricane insert name (nitsw): hurricanes have always happened, but climate change makes them worse. so partially

red desert: no there has been a desert there long before anthropogenic climate change but let’s not make it bigger

pouring rain (or tears) (want you back): not really, climate change will influence the heaviness of it but there’s always been rain. I chose the clean version because that’s got more evidence of climate change and it’s there it’s just minimal when there’s no average weather patterns to contrast it with. still I reckon it’s there so overall yes

dead man walking/crawling (youngblood): why are zombies considered a natural disaster?

burn too bright now the fire’s gone (babylon): pretty sure the whole premise of that empire is that it’s your own fault. so no. climate change would simply make the fire never go out and trust me that would be worse

enemy lines are drawn (more): by definition not a natural disaster. but it’s included because climate change causes political instability so…yes?

you haven’t found fish in the ocean (moving along): yes this is an overfishing and plastic pollution and climate change (which destroys their habitats) issue

rain in outer space: now that’s just absurd

earthquakes won’t wait (unpredictable): no. earthquakes are not related to climate change

sky is falling down, earth is crumbling around our feet (gotta get out): it’s not that catastrophic and if we keep going the way we are (switching to renewables nicely) that’s never gonna happen

[animeniacss]

So Close Yet So Far - Mingyu x Reader - Chapter 3 - The Gift of Honesty

Synopsis: Your college friend, Kim Mingyu, has had a grip on your heart since the first day you met. Over the past few years, as you acquired more friendships and memories, those feelings only grew. However, recently, Mingyu has seemed a bit more distant, at least when it comes to any ideas of romance. It only gets worse when rumors fly that he's off to Japan to receive a marriage proposal! Unsure what to do, you wonder how you can keep Mingyu by your side without jeopardizing your friendship or your growing feelings. You never expected that waking up one drunken morning next to two hot angels would be your ticket into Mingyu's heart.

Genre: Romance, College!AU, Modern Fantasy, Comedy, Angsty

Length: Approx. 4.5k words

Feat. Mina of TWICE

Chapter 3 - The Gift of Honesty

The sandwich shop, much like the café on campus, was always bustling with college life. Even on weekends, students found themselves comforted by the quick grab-and-go nature of the sandwich shop so they could keep focusing on studying or activities. You were sitting around a table with your friends, all munching on your own lunches as the world continued to move around you. Hoshi and Seungkwan were talking about something involving one of their classes, while Minnie was examining and trying to fix a broken nail she had, a slight pout on her face. You leaned towards her, watching as she did so.

            “It’s about time I get new nails. Want to come next time? It’s been a while. We can go for your birthday!” You smiled, nodding your head.

            “Sure.” You said. “That sounds fun!”

            “What does?” Hoshi asked, leaning forward. He watched as Minnie wiggled her fingers in his face. “Aaaah. I’ll come get my nails done!”

            “You so will not! It’s going to be a girl’s day.” Minnie frowned. “Besides, you’ll probably just get all your nails with a picture of tigers or something.” Hoshi’s eyes basically sparkled at the idea, and Minnie groaned. “See?”

            “What? I think it would look so cool!” He argued, but Minnie only stuck her tongue out at him. He pouted, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. As Seungkwan tried to encourage his friend that ‘yes, Hyung, tiger nails would 100% suit you.” You looked down at your phone. Mingyu had replied to that one comment about Hoshi’s spam messages, but had gone radio silent since.

            I bet whatever he’s doing, he’s very busy. You told yourself as if you needed to convince yourself. He said he would call me later….

            It seemed the rest of the group had the same idea about their friend, Seungkwan being the first to speak up. “So, who wants to place bets as to what the actual hell Mingyu-Hyung is doing in Japan?”

            “Do you think that rumor is true?” Minnie asked.

            “I know his dad’s been pretty strict on some of his after-school schedules recently.” Hoshi pointed out. “He wasn’t able to come with me to a movie a few weeks ago. He said he had to attend an important dinner.”  

            “A blind date?” Seungkwan’s eyes widened. “No way.”

            Minnie looked at you, watching as you popped a chip into your mouth. “That might explain why he looked upset when you brought up the idea of having a girlfriend.”

            “You think?” you asked curiously. Minnie nodded. “I don’t know. I feel bad gossiping about him without him being here.”

            “Well, when he doesn’t tell us stuff like this, what are we supposed to do?” Seungkwan shrugged. “It’s like when Hoshi-Hyung totally had that secret boyfriend freshman year, and he basically forgot we existed.” You saw Hoshi’s cheeks turn pink and he turned to the sly grinning friend to his left. You could immediately sense Hoshi’s demeanor change just slightly.

            “And I told you that is absolutely not what happened. We were friends, that’s it.”

            “Oh yeah, totally.” Seungkwan said, feigning belief at Hoshi’s claims. “That’s why you don’t speak about him anymore. Because you didn’t break up.” Hoshi pouted, and you and Minnie had to chuckle a bit. You remembered that time all too well; two years ago, when Hoshi constantly going to meet a new friend he had yet to introduce you to. Similar to now with Mingyu, you guys all played detective and tried to figure out who exactly had Hoshi so excited that he would basically run off campus once a week to see the guy, the only time during the week the entire friend group was able to meet up last term. It caused a bit of tension, and you worried that it would reshape itself with this new scenario.

            All we have to do is get you two together.

            Joshua’s voice, gentle as it was this morning, flooded back into your mind, and you set your half-eaten sandwich down. How could I possibly help two angels re-enter heaven just by ending up with Mingyu? You thought to yourself. What can they even do? They can’t force him to fall in love with me. This is all silly. It’s only a matter of time before-.

            Snap.

            Your eyes shot up, and you saw Seungkwan leaning forward, fingers close to your eyelids as he readied them again. Snap.

            “Hey!” you gasped.

            “Come back to us.” He begged playfully, smiling. “You were zoning out again.”

            “I was not.” You said. “Also, rude. How would you like it if someone just leaned over and-.” Leaning forward, you extended your fingers to Seungkwan and snap, snap, snap, snap. Seungkwan laughed a bit at the muffling of the sound through your cleaned bandages. He wasted no time, sticking his fingers back to yours and returning the playful snapping in your direction. You couldn’t help but hold back a smile.

            “And I thought nothing could get more childish than Hoshi.” Minnie said in amusement, and Hoshi snickered in agreement.

            “…Wait, hey.” He looked at her, just realizing what she meant as she laughed.

            As you leaned back in your seat, you crossed your arms confidently. It felt like you had won the contest that suddenly broke out at your table, falling into a confident grin.

            …Well…

            Suddenly, you felt two sets of hands on your shoulders, which startled both you and your friends. Immediately, people at the surrounding tables began whispering about the hot men that seemed to simply materialize When you turned your head, your eyes widened.

            “What’s wrong?!” Joshua asked, clearly panicked. “You seemed to be snapping so quickly. Did something happen?” You watched both of them look around the area, trying to see what clues they could find.

            “Wha- What are you talking about….?” Your voice trailed off then, and you looked down at your fingers.

            Just snap anytime you need us, and we’ll be there.

            “Oh, God.” You sighed.

            “Where?” Joshua and Jeonghan asked in unison, eyes continuing to dart every which way.  

“Where did they come from?” Hoshi asked, looking around the nearby area.

“Better question. Who are they?” Seungkwan asked. The both of them took a seat on either side of you, causing Minnie and Hoshi to scoot their seats to the side for more room at the little table. The shop was still bustling at the two attractive men sitting either side of you. They were almost angelic. You rolled your eyes as the few girls behind you whispered among themselves if they wanted to ask either for their numbers.  

The frantic racing of your brain forced you to come up with a response quickly. “We met recently.” You said. That seemed to answer absolutely zero questions, and your friends simply stared at you in hopes you’d provide more information. “Uh, well-.”

            “We’re friends.” Joshua said, leaning forward. “New friends.”

            Jeonghan added to that. “Well, we’ve just transferred here. She’s been showing us around and getting us adjusted. She’s been a big help.”

            That seemed to work. Slightly. “That sounds about right.” Seungkwan said. “I’m Seungkwan.”

“Hoshi~.” Hoshi beamed. When Seungkwan nudged him playfully, Hoshi grinned. “That’s my nickname. I’m Soonyoung.” He added. You watched as Minnie leaned forward, smiling sweetly at Joshua. You could sense her intimidating glance at the two strangers before her. When he caught her gaze, however, he offered her an equally kind smile.

            “I’m Minnie.” She said.

“Is that a nickname too?” Joshua asked. Minnie smiled.

“Yeah.” She smiled. “I’m from Thailand. I’ve had the nickname for a long time.” You watched Joshua nodded as Minnie continued to speak. “What are you guys majoring in?”

            “Law.” You blurted out, stunned by your quick response as the boys both turned to look at you. You closed your eyes, exhaling a bit. Fuck.

            “Law? Oh, so you’ll meet our other friend, Mingyu.” Seungkwan smiled.

            “…Oh, will we?” You could feel Jeonghan’s smirk as he asked that question and you didn’t want to open your eyes. When you finally did, you saw your friends looking at you with a very intense set of expressions. You laughed nervously. It felt as if you were suddenly being interrogated, yet you had no idea what for.  

            “…Why don’t you go buy something?” you asked, motioning to the counter. “If you’re planning on joining us.”

            “Come with us. I don’t know what to order.” Jeonghan begged. His playful desperation made you sigh. Then he added: “Back me up, Joshua.” 

            Joshua wasted no time joining him as he also leaned close to you. “I forgot how to read.” He said with absolute seriousness in his voice. You only knew it was a joke because Jeonghan began to laugh.

            You immediately stood up. “You both are unreal.” You said, before walking over to the counter. Joshua and Jeonghan waved to your friends, before quickly following right behind you, like puppies being dragged by a leash. Minnie, Hoshi and Seungkwan shared look between one another until you all were far enough away.

            “What the hell?” Minnie asked.

            “I know. What just happened?”         

            “Where did they come from?” Hoshi asked again, yet nobody really knew how to answer.

            At the counter, you looked at both boys as they approached you. “I can see why you both got cast out of heaven. You’re the most unangelic duo I’ve ever met.”

            “Harsh.” Jeonghan gasped, a grin continued to remain plastered on his face. “You’re the one that called us here.”

            “I didn’t-.” you stopped yourself, unsure of how you would prove you didn’t when in fact you did. “Fine, but I don’t need you. So, you guys actually can go.”

            “Well, isn’t it important we meet your friends?” Joshua asked curiously. “If we’re going to help you, we should get to know the people you hang out with.”

            “I-.” you again felt yourself unable to finish a complete sentence. “How are my friends supposed to help?” You finally asked.

            “You never know.” Jeonghan said. “We’ve seen crazier. Trust me.”

            You looked up at the menu, crossing your arms as the trio waited your turn. The last thing you wanted was for any drama to arise if these two stuck themselves within your friend group. Especially when Mingyu came back. Looking down at your hands, you chewed the inside of your lip. I don’t think I really have a choice. You thought to yourself. Turning your head, you looked at the boys once again, who were leaned close together and trying to decide what they wanted to eat.

            “I thought you said you couldn’t read.” You said to Joshua. He glanced over to you. Sheepishly, he smiled and let out a playful chuckle.

            “Oops.” He shrugged. You couldn’t help but smile a bit as you turned your head.

            “I know it’s basically guaranteed because of our ‘contract’ or whatever but, when he comes back, the first thing I want to do is introduce you to Mingyu. He’s really nice.”

            “When does he come back?”

            As you took a minute to recall the answer, you remembered something. “…I don’t know.” You said. “He said he didn’t want to miss school but he never said when he was coming back. At least, not to me.”

            “Oh.” Joshua said. “Well. I’m sure he’ll have to come back at some point.”

            “I guess so.” you said. “He promised he’d be back. Mingyu doesn’t break promises.” The men watched as you turned back to the menu, hands clasped behind your back in a tight balled up fist. “’He’ll have to come back.” You looked back at them. “He’s going to bring me a present.”

            “A present?” Joshua asked curiously. You nodded, practically beaming at the thought.

            “Whenever Mingyu goes on a trip, he brings me a gift. When he went to America our freshman year, he brought me back a really cute snow globe with the Statue of Liberty inside. When he went to England, he got me a little music box with Big Ben inside.”  You smiled. “In Hong Kong, he brought me back a lantern wind chime and -.” She you continued rattling off the gifts that littered your apartment, Joshua couldn’t help but smile at you. He listened closely, nodding his head. He had visited a lot of these places, quick flashes darting through his mind as you rattled off Paris, Australia, Singapore, every luxury vacation spot known through the world. “I haven’t gotten anything from Japan yet.” You smiled. “He said the cherry blossom festivals are happening all over this time of year.”

            “Oh, those are so pretty.” Joshua beamed. You nodded.

            “I’ve never seen them.” As you heard the server call the next customer, you stepped forward. Joshua was trying to study your expression the best he could when Jeonghan nudged him. He looked over, and Jeonghan grinned. “I have an idea.”

            “What?” Joshua asked.

            “Let’s go on a trip.” Both you and Joshua now looked at him, waiting for more information.

            “…Right now?” Joshua asked. Jeonghan nodded. “Where?”

            “Japan, silly.” He said. “If we can’t do anything until we see the guy anyway, let’s go see the guy.” He motioned to you. “Besides, it’ll give her enough time to try to answer all of her friend’s questions.”

            “Questions? You think they don’t believe us?” You asked curiously.

            “Oh, they don’t believe you.” Jeonghan said quickly. You looked at Joshua for some support, and he only nodded in agreement with Jeonghan.

            “Your eyes were shaking and you kept stuttering. It’s clear you’re not a good liar.” Joshua seemed almost sympathetic at the fact. Your face heated up in frustrated, but the men simply turned back to one another and began to chat. Jeonghan looked at you one more time.

            “Do you have a picture of him?” he asked. You lifted up your phone, scrolling through your photos until you pulled up a recent photo of Mingyu and Hoshi, posing ridiculously in front of one of the college buildings during Halloween. “He’s tall.”

            “Yeah.” You said. “My neck hurts just looking at him sometimes.” You smiled as you turned the picture back to yourself. Jeonghan and Joshua looked at one another as you were called to the counter. You approached, greeting the worker once again. When he asked what you wanted, you turned towards Joshua and Jeonghan, expecting them to finally be ready to order.

            They were at the table, shaking the men’s hands and nodding at Minnie as they said their goodbyes and how they were looking forward to being good friends going forward. Your friends seemed to have whiplash at how quickly they were leaving, but still said their polite goodbyes. You watched them hurry out of the shop, some of the girls in the area disappointed as they vanished behind the walls and out of sight.

            “Oh my-.” You turned to the worker, giving a sheepish and apologetic smile. “Never mind.”

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

            Mingyu rested against the balcony of his hotel room, drink in hand as he admired the Japanese scenery in front of him. Immediately, when he got back to the hotel, Mingyu ditched the tight suit and slacks for a pair of jeans and a white tank top. He threw on his shoes, and stepped out of his room once again, patting the pocket his wallet and keys were in. He looked at the bodyguard his father had sent along with him to ‘keep him safe’. Mingyu knew he was there to just report back honestly to his father.

            “Take me shopping, please. I need to buy something.” He requested.

            The duo made their way into town, shops lining every street in Tokyo. Mingyu was quick to go on the search for the perfect gift. He had promised you, after all. Mingyu walked down one of the streets, eyeing each and every window to see what each store was selling. There were clothing stores, toy stores, book stores. All kinds of stores. Where would he find the best gift for you? It was like finding a needle in a very large, incredibly bustling haystack. As Mingyu stopped at a local, family-owned knickknack business, he slowed his pace, and decided to head inside. The building smelt of coffee grinds and old newspaper, a very vintage yet comforting feeling of someone who had been working in this place since the walls were wooden boards. An older man greeted Mingyu from his spot at the counter, not looking up as he continued to work on something on his lap. Mingyu looked around, walking past a few rows of carved wooden figurines and over to a large display in the back of the store. As he walked, focused on the items around him, he missed the gaze of two individuals. Thinking that the only view on him was his bodyguard, Mingyu simply brushed off that tingling feeling down his arms. Chilly in here. He thought.

            Jeonghan and Joshua poked their heads out from behind the aisles of wooden figurines and display boxes, watching as Mingyu finally stopped walking and turned to look at the displays on one of the walls. “I wonder what he’s doing…” Joshua whispered. “I don’t see a girl with him.”

            “That doesn’t mean anything.” Jeonghan assured. “He could be out buying something for her right now.”

            “I hope not. It’ll be a lot harder to handle this if the rumors are true. Also, it’ll kill her. I’ll feel bad.”

            Jeonghan smiled at his friend’s compassion. “I know.” He said. Jeonghan looked around for a minute, confirming that there was nobody else around who seemed to be with Mingyu. He nodded his head to the bodyguard who was standing by the door. “Unless he’s on a date with that guy.”

            Joshua laughed at his friend’s joke, playfully nudging him. “Be serious.” He muttered. Just as the duo were talking, Mingyu lifted his head up and looked in their direction. Joshua and Jeonghan slithered slightly out of view as to not be caught.

            “…I feel like some crazy fangirl.” Joshua said, frowning. “We should probably go.”

            “What do we say when we get back?”

            “That he’s not with a girl? I don’t know.” Joshua said. “But now that we’re here, this feels kind of pointless.”

“It’s important to get all the information we can to be ahead of the curve when he comes back to Korea.” Jeonghan stated. “Let’s see if he ends up buying something.” Joshua watched Mingyu began making his way to the front of the store once again, eyes pulling him to something displayed on the wall. When the angel’s followed his gaze, they saw him staring at a variety of keychains, bright and very detailed in their design. Mingyu looked over.

            “Did you make these?” he asked the worker. The old man looked up, smiling. He set down his craft and approached.

            “My wife.” He said. “She’s always been good at making really cute and unique keychains. Her favorite and most popular one is this one-.” He pointed to one, but they could not get a good view from where they were standing. Mingyu nodded. “See one you like? Maybe for a lucky lady?”

            Mingyu let out a breathy, nervous chuckle. However, he did point to one. “That one.” He said. “I think she’ll like it.”

            Both Joshua and Jeonghan immediately looked at one another, the vagueness of Mingyu’s response to the old clerk immediately filling them with dread. They could only stand by and watch, pretending to act busy admiring the things around them as Mingyu passed by, taking the keychain and setting it down to pay for it. Joshua and Jeonghan made sure to wait, listening as Mingyu thanked the worker and headed towards the door.

            “I have to make a few more stops, then we can head back to the hotel.” His bodyguard agreed, and the duo exited, a loud ‘Have a nice day!’ from the worker. Joshua and Jeonghan looked at one another.

            “What do we do? Should we still follow?” Joshua asked, uncertain.

            “I have no idea. Would you buy a gift for another girl when you’re engaged?” Jeonghan asked. Joshua shook his head. “Neither would I.”

            “She said he always buys her gifts. So, there’s no way he’s buying for another girl too.” Joshua pursed his lips, rubbing his chin as he tried to think.

            “I can’t believe we came all this way for nothing.” Jeonghan said.

            “On the bright side, this will definitely be one of the easier things we’ve ever done. They two of them basically did all the hard work for us and now we just need to get them together.” Joshua tried to keep things positive. Jeonghan nodded.

            “I say we follow him until the end of the day. Make sure he isn’t meeting someone later. Dinner is always where things get the most romantic.”

            “Oh really?” Joshua rolled his eyes, an amused smile on his face as the duo exited the shop as well, acknowledging the man as he waved them off. With the bustling streets getting thicker by the minute, Joshua and Jeonghan tried to scan for the tall Korean man walking around with a bodyguard. They could see him faintly, before the duo hurried down the street in hopes to catch up with him sooner.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

            Mingyu ended his day laying on the hotel bed, exhausted from the day. Though his meeting had ended hours earlier, he ended up meeting some old friends for dinner, as he said he would. He was hoping he would have been able to message you and the others sooner rather than later, seeing as it was getting late. Mingyu rolled onto his side and grabbed his phone, sitting up and quickly dialing your phone number. He pressed the phone to his ear, waiting for you to answer as he picked up the room service menu and scanned it, using it to distract him from the ringing sound until he heard:

            “Hello~?”

            “Hey.” He grinned, his attention now fully on you. “Sorry it took me so long to call. I ended up being busier than I thought.”

            “It’s ok. I only graduated and got a full-time job at a local office while I waited to hear back from you.” Mingyu grinned a bit. He hopped off the bed and paced to the balcony.

            “Oh, really?” he asked. When he heard you laugh, his smile only got a bit bigger.

            “Mhm.” You said simply. However, you were quick to change the subject. It was a question Mingyu did not particularly want to hear. “How was your business stuff? You still sound tired.”

            “Do I?” He asked, feeling his hand clamp shut. “Heh, I guess I am. It all went fine.” He thought back to his first meal of the day today, and what transpired.

            “It’s lovely to see you again, Mingyu.” Mina smiled as she stepped into the room. Mingyu noticed her father step out, closing the door and leaving both of them alone. Mingyu nodded his head.

            “You too.” He said. Without missing a beat, he pulled open the first seat he could and motioned to it. “Shall we?”

            Mina smiled, walking towards her seat and sitting down, smoothing out her dress. She smiled up at him as he made sure to sit across from her. “Sorry for having you come out here so suddenly. When I told my father I wanted to see you again, I think he got a bit excited.” She laughed sheepishly. “I apologize for any trouble.”

            Mingyu thought back to the dinner he had to cancel with you. However, he shook his head. “It’s alright.” He assured. As the waiter returned with a drink order and menus, the duo quietly looked at what they planned to order. Mingyu glanced up at Mina. Her delicate round eyes scanned the different items on the menu, deciding what would be the best fit for a midday brunch. Mingyu didn’t care what he wanted to eat, he most likely wouldn’t be able to stomach it all, knowing what was about to happen.

            “Mingyu.” Mina said, and Mingyu looked up. She set her menu down. “How’s your father?”

            “Oh. Good.” He said.

            “Feeling better?”       

            “Here and there. He won’t ever admit he’s sick.” Mina laughed a bit.

            “I hope he does feel better soon. He seemed to tired when he was helping my father with all of that legal trouble in our Korean branch. But he was so professional, he kept working. I admired that about him.”           

            “Thank you.” Mingyu said. Mina took a deep breath.

            “I don’t want to beat around the bush.” She said.

            Mingyu blinked. “Neither do I.”

            “Good.” She said. “You must know why I wanted to see you again, then.”

            Mingyu nodded. “I have a few ideas.” Mina nodded, smiling. “And I’m sorry, but I don’t want any part of it.” The smile on Mina’s face dropped a bit.

            “What?” she asked, sounding sad. “Can I ask why?”

            Mingyu sighed. “I don’t want to be put into an arranged marriage.”

            “Do I upset you in some way?”

            “No.” Mingyu assured. “In fact, I’m hoping that despite this, we can stay friends and maybe business partners one day. I hate being this way, but my father keeps setting me up on these when he knows how I feel about it. I don’t want to hurt your feelings. I’m sorry.”

            Mina paused, pondering her next response. Mingyu didn’t expect being so brutally honest so soon into the meeting. However, a part of him felt good about getting it off of his chest.

            Mina leaned forward, folding her hands together and perching her chin on top. Mingyu had to admit that she was beautiful and regal, carrying herself like a noble princess. When she opened her eyes to look at him once again, a bit of hair fell in front of her eye.

            “I appreciate the honesty.” She said gently. Mingyu felt a sigh of relief escape him. “I admire how you come across so thoughtful of other people and their emotions. That’s what I like about you.”

            “Oh-.” Mingyu turned a bit red and smiled. “Thank you.”    

            “Well, I’m glad it went well.” You said once again. “We miss you here, though. A weekend feels longer when all you have to keep you occupied is Hoshi and Minnie bickering.”

            Mingyu laughed. “Trust me, I’d rather listen to that than be drowning in dinners with my father’s stuffy friends.”

            You laughed once again. “Well, it’s only one more day. You’ll survive. I know it.”

            “Thank you.” He said. When he let a yawn slip, he groaned a bit. “Man.”

            “Get some sleep, Mingyu.” You said. “You’ll be busy tomorrow sight seeing with your friends. Call me when you get the chance.”    

            “Okay.”

            “And send me pictures of the cherry blossoms.”

            “None of me?”

            “Take a selfie.” Mingyu laughed at the suggestion.

            “Goodnight.” He said.

            “Goodnight.” You repeated, before the both of you hung up. Mingyu set his phone down, walking out to his balcony. The cool night air brushed up against his skin, and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on it. He knew that only a few hours way, you were laying beside your apartment window after a long day. Were you looking out to the night sky as well? He wondered if you were staring at the same part of the sky, still so in sync despite being so far apart. Mingyu turned back towards his room, eyeing something on the couch in front of his bed. He thought back to the last question Mina had asked before he left that morning from their meeting.

            If we can still be friends, like you said, do you want to hang out tomorrow?

            When Mingyu’s eyes landed on the small white box wrapped up in a pink bow, he wondered if he made the right choice by saying yes.

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[nowandforalways]

"Never to change, ever to share...": An off-the-rails analysis of "Now And For Always" from the Lord of the Rings musical

Good day to you, my dears.

"Now And For Always" is my favorite song of all time and has been since I first heard it at age 16. With the revival of the musical giving us a ✨whole new arrangement✨ of the song, I decided now would be as good a time as any to analyze it as a whole and take a look at a few of the changes made to see how each version accomplishes exactly what it set out to accomplish with it's storytelling from a musical perspective.

A QUICK NOTE BEFORE WE START: While in the original production of the show, "Now And For Always" is clearly diegetic (that is, the characters in the show are actually singing the song in the world of the show), it's a bit more debatable in the new production. Samwise Gamgee is a wonder, but I find it hard to imagine him schlepping an entire guitar to Mordor - this ain't Hadestown, after all (the "Wait for me"/"And I'm coming with you" thing would require an entirely separate post 😉). Regardless, for the sake of analysis and also my sanity, we are going to say that the song is 100% diegetic in both versions of the show.

Key: NA = new/revival arrangement

OA = old/original arrangement

SO

First lets take a look at what stays the same between both versions (which is most of the song, tbh) and see what can be seen. We're gonna get lightly music-y here.

This song is in 6/8 time signature, which basically just means that it's counted out in two groups of 3 notes each - 123, 456 - with a sort of slope-y feeling to it, like rising up to 3 and falling back down to 6. You can also count it in a very slow 2/2 (1, 2), with each of those being on the 1 beat and then the 4 beat of the 6/8 counting pattern. This time signature has the effect of making it slow and relaxing, but still sound Hobbit-y, in a rather country-ish way. This time signature could technically become a very fast waltz, and it does lean into a natural sort of swaying motion when you listen to it. Perfect for singing around the fire.

The rhythm of the song itself is interesting because it's very speech-like. If you try to speak the words out loud in rhythm, it doesn't actually sound that off from a typical English speaking rhythm. This makes it very easy to learn, and very easy to add your own words to, as its implied Sam and Frodo are doing as they sing it. Lassi Longren, the composer of the song, said that it wanted it to sound like an old song that the Hobbits all know and sing around the fire, and the idea of a song like this with a chorus that everybody knows and then verses that are improvised by individual singers makes a lot of sense (makes me think of, like, "The Campfire Song" from The Lightning Thief - a song that is also in 6/8 and with a very speech-like rhythmic pattern).

The chordal structure also contributes to this homey, comfortable feeling. The song is in the key of D major, which is a fairly middling key (it's the key that most pennywhistles are automatically tuned to!), and is constructed around just 3 chords, with 1 more thrown in there if you want the cadence on "strange and rare" to sound correct. This makes it extreeeeeeemely easy to play - like I can barely play guitar, but I can reasonably play this. For the music nerds, the chords are I, IV, and V, with a little vi for that one cadence I mentioned earlier. This is essentially the most basic group of chords ever created, and it seems very intentional to me - it makes the whole thing feel comfortable and familiar, like it's an old song you know, even if it's your first time hearing it (Fun fact: The Shire theme from the Peter Jackson films uses also uses this chord group!). The only this about the song that might make it tricky to sing along with is its range - it's more than an octave, which can be hard to span if you're not a practiced singer. But you know, sometimes you just gotta have that fun melodic contour. Song gets boring if it stays all within too small of a range. :P

Okay so that's all the basic musical stuff that's the same between both arrangements. Time for the differences.

The most major musical differences in the NA as I can see are: Frodo and Sam switching who is singing the higher vocal part and who has the lower part during the second chorus, different instruments being used for the solo instrumental lines, and the whole of Frodo's solo verse and chorus. These all serve the major thematic change in this moment in the NA, but I'll get to that at the end.

First, the vocal lines in the chorus. You all know how much I looooove that Frodo is always on the lower part in the original show (see this whole post I wrote about it here!), and I equally love Sam getting the higher part in the OA for this song. It fits his character and part in the song very well - he started it off, he's done the improvising bit; after one chorus of unison to make sure that Frodo has a handle on the melody, he can pop off. Young, dreamy, surprisingly poetical Sam, with his love for elves & beauty & all things that grow, gets the chance to soar, while Frodo stays lower, hanging onto the melody. It almost works like foreshadowing for their characters, with Sam audibly choosing to do so much while it seems like Frodo is just there, but Frodo's actually doing the arguably far more important part of carrying the melody.

In the NA, they are flipped - now Sam stays on the melody while Frodo pops up to the higher part, and it still works just as well. Frodo's actually been on the higher part for the whole show up to this point, cause that's just how Louis Maskell rolls (the one very significant moment where he sings a lower harmony to Sam's melody is right before he leaves at the Grey Havens, which I could probably write a whole 'nother essay about), but it doesn't screw with the character perception in the way I had initially feared. Sam starts the song, Sam's got the guitar, so Sam stays on the melody, to carry the thing through. This now leaves Frodo free to do his thing with Sam's support. And this is where I start heading into headcanon territory, but I can't help but think by the easy way he slipped into it that maybe Frodo has sung this part before. He canonically has a nice voice (the Breelanders like it so much that they make him sing "The Man In The Moon Stayed Up Too Late" twice in the book!), and it would make sense for a naturally talented singer to get enough experience singing that they are able to whip out a higher part just for fun - maybe, if they ever sang this one down at the Ivy Bush, or by the fireplace in the parlor of Bag End, this was Frodo's part. And speaking from the same character perspective, Frodo is also everything I described Sam as before - dreamy, poetical, sweet - he's just older and, at this moment, significantly more tired both mentally and physically. But, he hasn't lost his hope yet, so he can still reach down and bring out a past version of Frodo, one who could sing that part in the song.

Next, the instruments. This is pretty simple; there aren't a lot of changes, but the one significant moment is the use of a harmonica instead of a fiddle for the solo in the middle of the song. Both versions of the show have instruments associated with certain characters (harp for Arwen, whistle for Frodo, concertina for Gollum, etc.) but the NA has the advantage of having all the actors play instruments, so it becomes rather explicit. In this case, the harmonica is being played by and associated with Bilbo, and that's neat, because this is a continuation of a story that he was also a part of. The fiddle in the OA is more representative of hobbits as a whole, so it also works in context.

Aaaaand the last one, the arrangement of Frodo's verse and chorus. This one is a doozy, because this is where we will be involving my theory on the different reasons for Sam starting the song.

So, the first time I heard the NA "Now And For Always", I actually started yelling IRL "IT'S A HYMN" as soon as it got to Frodo's verse+chorus, because, well, it is. Lemme explain. The orchestrations shift from the guitar and strings of the rest of the song so that Frodo is backed primarily by the ensemble singing "Oohs" and some sort of drone bass note underneath that I can't figure out (probably like a cello or something). The tempo suddenly becomes a lot slower and a lot less "bouncy", so to speak - that 6/8 time rising and falling pattern that I described before is significantly downplayed, and there are a lot more complete rests in the music, and that gives the whole thing overall a much straighter feel. This all gives a very hymn-like effect, particularly the "ooh"s, because voices moving between chords like that in a homophonic way (that is to say, everyone changes notes at the same time) is common in chorale-style hymns, and the drone, because having something called a "pedal point" (one note held underneath multiple chords) makes the music sound a lot older and more solemn. This is in contrast to the OA, which has, while not the exact same backing in Frodo's verse+chorus (it does get slower, and more smooth and flowing in the instruments), certainly much less contrast between Frodo's bit and the rest of the song than the NA. They both do this, but the NA just a bit more emphasizes how serious Frodo is about what he's saying. It's also is a texture that we haven't heard yet in the show and won't really hear again, so it kind of demonstrates the changes going on in Frodo by this point, like he's becoming something not quite of the world (sort of like all those comments in the book about him being "clear" or having a light shining through him). From a practical standpoint, it's also because Sam had been playing the guitar this whole time, and now he has gone to bed, so no more guitar. But above all, the vibe that making it sound like a hymn gives it is reverence, and that is important for the next bit.

Hoo boy, it's extrapolation/headcanon time. I've done a lot of actual musical analysis, but there comes a point where you have to take all those things you've gleaned and start spitballing about what they mean when combined all together. Here's what I have landed in: The changes in the NA reflect a change in Sam's motivation for starting the song in the first place.

Lemme explain.

In the scene before "Now And For Always", the boys are discussing Frodo's realization that destroying the Ring means that the elves will leave, and that there will be no more magic in the world. It's as they reflect on these very big changes that Sam starts singing a song about how at least some things stay the same. NOW. In the OA, Sam and Frodo start off the song in much the same place, emotionally - they're both kind of moody and mournful, feeling shaken at the idea of everything changing in such a big way, and missing the days when they believed that stories always ended with things returning to a happy normal. Sam's line "We hobbits only really like stories that end just the way they started, don't we?" is sort of a rueful realization that they are both severely freaked out by all of this because they come from a place that values unchangingness so highly. Sam starts the song as a way to bring them both some comfort by reminding them of home. He then fills in the bit about Frodo during the second verse because Frodo mentioned special folk and great adventures, they're both so tired that everything's funny, and Sam genuinely adores Frodo and knows how brave and important what he's doing is. Frodo's verse about Sam, in turn, is sung almost like a lullaby, which makes sense, as lullabies are often directed at the person falling asleep. So Frodo sings to Sam as he falls asleep about how much he admires him right back, sort of returning the compliment, like in the book. The way he says "it's not me they'll remember, you know" just before he starts singing has this weird sort of regretful tone to it, as if Frodo has kinda always known that his would be a thankless task, and that Sam, taking charge and leading them around and taking care of them, will be the one who goes down in history as being instrumental. He has been seeing this whole time how much Sam has done for him, and he knows that in time, others will too.

In the NA, on the other hand, the vibes of the scene before the song are somewhat different. The lines do not change at all, but the attitude from each of them is different. Here, we have the exact same conversation, but Frodo is audibly more stressed about it (not to mention more audibly exhausted), and Sam, in response, is keeping his tone very neutral, almost lighthearted at times. That general vibe continues into the song, which I thought was weird at first, until I realized what Sam is doing. Frodo is very shaken by all the big changes that he sees coming, so Sam responds by reminding him about the songs that they used to sing the Ivy Bush - the ones where nothing ever really changes. He says the line from above about hobbits liking stories that end the way they started like he's reminding Frodo of a fun fact, which is that despite everything going on around him, there are still plenty of stories about heroes where things are allowed to go back to the way they were. In other words, while the OA of "Now And For Always" is two people trying to comfort themselves by singing something that reminds them of home, the NA is Sam Gamgee Is Going To Cheer Up His Best Buddy Or Die Trying, first by reminding him that plenty of things do stay the same, and then by getting a bit silly and describing Frodo as one of the heroes (who, I will remind you, are allowed to go home unchanged). He goes until he sees a sign that he has succeeded somewhat in his quest - remember my headcanon about Frodo singing the higher part being indicative of his old self shining through? That could certainly be a signal to Sam that his little idea worked. More likely, the fact that Frodo starts waxing poetic about plum cake (which is so valid of him, tbh) when a few minutes ago he had to be ordered to sit down and eat something is also a sign to Sam that Frodo feels better, at least for the moment. So he feels alright to go to sleep. And then Frodo sings his part. And THAT'S why the reverent tone I mentioned earlier is so important. Because it makes it seem like Frodo also realizes, in this moment, what Sam has just been doing, and what Sam has been doing this whole time. The pauses in the music make it seem like he's coming to awareness, step by step, of just how much Sam has done for him, and the only possible emotional response for something that earth-shatteringly loving is reverence. And THAT'S why the NA ending works so gosh darn well - it gets across everything that Frodo is thinking and feeling in this moment with the music as well as the lyrics.

So, yeah. I don't have, like, much of a conclusion for all this. These are just a bunch of things that I observed about these two songs and then my brain running absolutely buckwild with extrapolating conclusions from there. And a lot of this is my own interpretation of what I hear, so if you thought something different, that's totally fine! Also, this is entirely based on only being able to hear what's going on, so if you've seen the show and I got the vibes super off for part of it, please let me know. :)

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you around! Heyday!

EDIT: The more I think about it and try to feel it in my body, I might call the time signature a very fast 3/4. Regardless, all my points still stand. Just wanna cover all my musical bases. :)

[tsundereition]

Rook x Vil

Rook x Vil relationship headcanons

Waah ok, so this is my absolute favorite ship from TWST but it's a bit tricky bc they pretty much already act like a married couple xD (to me). I think they would be the kind of friends that people would be like "so when did you two start going out?" and they'd be like "we're not dating?" lol.

aNWAY, I think Rook would have 100% fallen for Vil at first sight, but he wouldn't even be aware of it! I know it sounds unlike Rook since he's such a romantic and he's in touch with his feelings and all that, but I mean, he's a little bit in love with everyone and everything in life, so he would just pass it off as one of his admirations of beauty.

But yeah, the idea of,,, just Savanaclaw Rook being SO infatuated with this boy orz … the fact that he was like "fuck the mirror I'll transfer to Pomefiore"and and adn he entered the science club to get better at potionology and thus be a better companion for Vil!!! I seriously can't. Bro atp I'm not even saying headcanons, it's just canon bye.

So when becoming second years, he's changed dorms and he just kind of leaves himself up to Vil? The (soon to be?) dorm leader being like "to be here you have to dress and groom yourself accordingly" and Rook is like "okay, whatever you say <3" and he probably cut his hair himself and all but idc I like to imagine that Vil did it and he taught him to use makeup and !!! just like the physical intimacy and Rook being vulnerable when he always puts up a front with everyone else aaa 😭 i'm deceased.

And Vil too!!! He always strives for perfection, never allowing himself to be less -must be quite tiring! So Rook being the only one in front of whom he can actually relax 🥺 At first he would hate it, I think it would go like, Rook saying something silly (in the sense of… something so Rook-like, you know? praising something really mundane for its beauty lol) and Vil would laugh. Maybe even snort. It would be so natural and he woulnd't even notice it, but when Rook stops talking (when does he ever?) he turns to face him and sees the hunter staring back at him. That's when he realizes his mistake, he let his guard fall! He probably blushes and covers his face with his hand (what if there are some wrinkles from such an unsightly laugh?), but Rook would catch his hand telling him not to hide!!! That's the most beautiful he's ever been ><

It would take a time for Vil to trust Rook this way, but when getting used to it I think it would be so cute… He probably still catches Rook gazing at him so lovingly in such moments, which makes him bashful, but he can't say he hates it anymore. After all, he embraces the adoration the other has for him, even if incomprehensible to him in such moments.

Overall, I think this relationship would stand on a base of mutual trust, even unspoken a lot of times. They just connect that way, communicating with their eyes, not needing words (although Rook will definitely say them anyway lol). As for Vil… he's a bit of a tsundere, let's be honest. He knows Rook understands him without having to tell him, but still, he realizes that it's somehow unfair on his side so he will now and then say some sweet words that his vice will treasure forever in his heart.

With all that said, how would they enter an actual romantic relationship? Well, I think after some time Rook would eventually notice that his feelings are different form his general admiration of the beauty all around him. As for Vil, it would take a bit more time for him… first to realize and then to accept them.

About the confession… Rook confesses his undying love for Vil everyday. Probably after taking notice of his feelings he shifts his confessions to be a bit more specific and romantic? (going from "I could admire your beauty all day" to something like "I'd like to admire your beauty as you wake up in the morning", implying that he would like to spend his life with Vil). At some point, Vil would start to notice the shift in Rook's compliments and I think this would probably be the trigger to him realizing his own feelings.

So, in the end, I think it would be Vil the one to properly confess! If it was for Rook, he would be happy watching Vil from afar. Of course, he would love nothing more than to be by his side forever, but he would accept whatever makes his queen happy. Vil is the one who needs a confirmation, establishing something formal (and to have Rook for himself before he ends up devoting himself for some other idol- yeah Vil is a jealous man lol).

After NRC? Well, Vil would continue with his acting career of course. I think Rook would be happy to live somewhere in the nature and not the city, but he could accomodate for Vil. Maybe they could share a weekend house in the cottage of Pyroxene. Or, reversely, they could live somewhere more secluded and have Vil travel for some days when there's a shooting. At this point they probably made their relationship public, too. I can see Rook working as different things (mostly manual or artistic labours, not something academic), but for sure he'd be an amateur bodyguard for Vil lmao. I think the general public would get the idea that Vil is already taken and not to mess with his husband <3 and so they live happily ever after.

Bonus:

[joker-daughter]

Small (or long LoL) little rant : I'm gonna sound dramatic and really negative but it's hard to hope for "better things" for him right now..

I've been a fan of him (as the actor first! celeb second) for almost 7 years now. And unfortunately, I don't think he's gonna get the career he should have in my honest / but yes, probably biased / opinion. Maybe a complete change will happen in the next 5-10 years, idk. But he doesn't seem to get the phonecalls and opportunities that he deserves, from non-franchises things (I'm sick of anything SM or Uncharted related, personally). Whos fault is that ? I would say it's a mix of his team not forcing (yes, forcing because what on earth are they doing ?!) him to be out there, the general bias people (and when I say people I mean within the industry) have against him or more generally superhero actors, and obviously, Tom himself because, as much as I love his acting, I'm not that confident in his personal taste in projects.

And it's frustrating, because even with the poorest material they could find, there's still, and always, something so brilliant about his performances. He's a natural, he's actually a natural in soooo many genres and tones, it's a crime that it's not being used.

I'm afraid he'll either stay in the comfort of the franchises bland roles (not because he wants to, but because nothing better will be offered to him) or just give up and go back to a regular life. And before anyone use his own words against me : I know he said himself that he don't see himself be an actor for the rest of his life, and want to stay lowkey. I read all the interviews. And I know I'm no one and as long as he's happy with how things are goings, it's okay. YES, but as someone who enjoy him as an actor, I still think complains and frustration are valid 💀 Anyway I just hope that a dream meeting or collaboration is on the way, something that will change everything. That could be FA being eye opening for him AND the audience, or somethign completely different. Something, anything

anon sending me this and then that interview drops lmao I know I said I have thoughts to share with you regarding all of this but I honestly don’t even know what to say anymore lol at this point I’m leaving it to God 😭 like I’m neither hopeful nor pessimistic, if anyone wants to share their thoughts, my inbox welcomes you

About this part tho:

“But he doesn't seem to get the phonecalls and opportunities that he deserves, from non-franchises things […] nothing better will be offered to him”

ngl I said/thought this once too, I can’t say it is 100% what is happening in reality (and I hope it’s not)…I’ve said this before but something is telling me to not say too much now and wait a little longer (even if the patience is running thin lol) so we’ll see

[starry-blue-echoes]

So I had an interesting realization for the DiU part of Star Swap

so…… the Tonio Episode happens after Yukako’s

and Yukako's, naturally, happens AFTER Koichi gets shot with the arrow

And just....... idk I'm just Rotating how this would impact how everything with her would go. I'm no medical expert, but I'm like 99% sure getting shot in the neck with an arrow would keep you in the hospital for a decently long while, and even then when Koichi gets discharged he wouldn't be back to 100%. He's going to need time to heal, go to voice therapy to try and salvage what little of his voice he has left, and who knows, maybe hatch Echoes into Act 1. I highly doubt he'd encounter Tanami, but who knows, gravity works in weird ways

and there's also how Jotaro would probably change things too. After all, he's uncomfortably familiar with girls not taking no for an answer, and now that he's actually gotten friends? For the first time in who knows how long??? Like hell he's letting them go through that too. I can see him being much more confrontational with Yukako, not caring about sparing her feelings because to him, Koichi's comfort and recovery is much more important than her romantic interests. I wouldn't doubt that he'd just walk up to her, tell her to fuck off, and then would stick by Koichi's side for however long it takes to make sure she got the message

and not to mention, there's also the fact that at this point in time..... Koichi wouldn't be able to say as much himself. He's still healing and can't talk at all and probably has only just barely started learning sign language, so his best bet at communication would be written notes. Jotaro standing up for him would be both relieving and frustrating, the former because of the fact his friend is backing him up like this, but also frustrating because he can't say it himself

and with this all in mind, I'm currently thinking of two possible ways this could go: either 1) Yukako still kidnaps Koichi or 2) Yukako kidnaps Jotaro to get him out of the picture

or who knows, maybe it could be a mix of both? Maybe she kidnaps Koichi and locks him in one of the most secure rooms in the house, maybe a basement or attic, but before she starts the process of "making him love her" she decides to go deal with Jotaro to get him out the picture more permanently. Koichi naturally panics because he doesn't want his best friend getting killed, but struggles to break out because Act 1 isn't very combat oriented. However, Yukako also hadn't been anticipating Koichi having a Stand at all, and Stands can pass through walls, so given enough time it's entirely possible he came up with something

heck, maybe his determination to escape ends up being the trigger he needs to unlock Act 2. Maybe Act 1 was unlocked by him recognising and accepting help for his new disability (and it also ties in a good deal to Act 1's ability, being sound and word generation), so perhaps he can unlock Act 2 by also acknowledging he can't always be rescued. Jotaro had already saved him from Keicho, and Okuyasu had been doing everything he could to help him to make up for things. Right now, the both of them were in danger and Koichi was the only one who knew or could help

(now, is Koichi going to need to see the hospital again after all this is over? Absolutely, 100%. Yukako wasn't very gentle will her kidnapping, she literally slammed him into the roof in canon, plus as thorough as she is...... I'm honestly skeptical on whether or not she'd know to grab the medications he'd undoubtedly be taking)

[fairycosmos]

Is it pathetic to wanna go back to your ex? Yesterday I saw a picture of him on his friend’s insta, they were celebrating New Year’s Eve and it broke my heart. I cry every night since we broke up. He told me he’s doing so much better now so going back is not a realistic option.. I need to move on but how do you do that when you thought you’d spend your life with that person. Love isn’t real, it’s a scam I know it

hello not pathetic!! that sounds like a totally natural part of the grieving process and honestly in a way that's what it is. it's ok to be in pieces when you're mourning the presence of a person and the thought of a future with them, and it doesn't make you pathetic at all - it would actually be a bit worrying if you just didn't care, if you could just move on like it all meant nothing to you. i know it's a really frustrating answer to hear, the whole "it's alright to feel your feelings and process" because obviously that's a very painful thing to have to do, and there's no real antidote or easy way out of it. but if there's one thing about heartbreak that i've learned from observing it in my friends is that it's really tricky. it will have you 100% convinced that your life is over, that you can't go on, that you'll never love again - but they always do. healing is inevitable, at least in some capacity, and even thinking it's not because you're so hurt is a part of moving on. everything you're doing and have been doing is you moving forward, even slowly, even subconsciously. the emotional rollercoaster is just a symptom of it. you've still got a life to live and connections to be made and shit to see, even if right now you can't fathom it without the guy, and you don't want it without him either. when you're ready to accept the present moment for what it is, it'll be waiting for you. take all the time you need, and until then, allow yourself to cry and sob and listen to sad songs and vent to your friends/family/diary and let it be the fucking worst thing in the world. for a while it really will be, and i don't blame you for losing it, but then it won't be. that change won't happen all at once, you might not even notice it, but it's just as much a part of the process as grieving is. i'm really sorry that you're in this situation right now, and i'm sorry it's all so hard. i think love is real and that's why this is so difficult, and you deserve to find a form of it that is deeply reciprocated and utterly painless. but you don't even have to entertain that idea right now honestly. if you need to be a mess for a while, go for it. just try not to push people who care about you away or self-destruct at the same time, because the dude is objectively not worth that even if you think he is right now. i hope you have a strong support system around you and i hope it gets a little easier to manage every day. sending a big hug. x

[crystalelemental]

Alright, Unicorn Overlord apparently has my full attention.  I picked it up kinda on a whim, because it sounded neat and I wanted something new, and just like the last two times this happened, it was a knockout success.  So I'm definitely getting it, but from the demo at least, some preliminary thoughts.

I'll start with the easiest point to talk about: characters and story are absolutely nothing special.  It is...very bare bones basic storytelling at this point.  In truth, I don't mind it.  I think it's serviceable, and at the very least it's not detracting from the game.  I think that's something people miss a lot.  Clamoring for a good story makes sense, but I think in attempting it, sometimes people without really creative ideas just make something that's overly focused on cutscene and shitty, to the detriment of otherwise fun gameplay.  I think Unicorn Overlord is doing fine right now.  It can get more complex later if it wants, but I don't think it has to.

I will spare a brief thought for the whole discourse that seems to be going on about localization.  It reminds me of the Three Houses situation, where the fan translations all clearly have their own angle and no one agrees on anything.  The dialogue is serviceable.  Nothing that I've heard from the game has felt stilted or force, it feels natural and organic for the vibe they're going for, it at times maybe a little flowery.  But I do honestly feel like this is a non-issue.

That out of the way, meat of the game: the actual gameplay.  This game is fun.  Ridiculously so.  You have your units, you have your parties.  You start with three teams of two, and using Honors gained over time, you can expand to have up to ten teams of six.  The farthest I got was five teams of three.  I think I reached a point in the demo where I needed a sixth, given how many party members dropped, but also just gained the ability to add a fourth unit to a group, so...gonna play with that one a bit when I can.

I really like how the game plays.  It's mostly automatic, with the bulk of your preparations being done by setting equipment, setting a leader with a desired skill, and setting up...I forget what they call them, but they're Final Fantasy XII gambits.  You set actions, alternate their order, and set conditions under which they are used, with up to two conditions being applied, checking (I assume) first condition, then for second.  This was super important for my healer, whose initial tactics are set to "Heal if ally under 100%," and thus always heals the frontliner with her 1PP, resulting in someone in my back line getting very preventably dead.  I'm still fiddling with understanding the first and second condition thing, but it's a nice setup.  I didn't really get much time to play with it.

"What do you mean you didn't get to play with it?"  They don't tell you about these tactics until basically the end of the demo.  The last major map of this phase of the game is when they tell you about this.  You get the healer in the opening like half hour, and the archer is the first you recruit.  These tactics are life-changing, like you really want to have access to these.  It's kinda wild that they wait so long.  I did find out before then, but not enough to fully figure out first and second conditions and re-organization of skills.  There's a lot I'll need to play with.

The matchup system is interesting.  Armor is specifically bad against magic, horses are good against infantry but fliers are good against cavs.  Bows are good against fliers, and Soldiers can have attacks good against cavs.  You also have situations where archers are specifically excellent against Thieves, because they cannot miss.  It's a fairly organic system, with a couple of specific considerations, but nothing that's overbearing, and no one class has felt too overpowered.  General combat against the random parties is fairly quick and easy.  A lot of the time, with a decent matchup, I could clear the fight in one round of combat.  Bosses, however, could be a lot trickier, depending on the boss.  Some still went down easy, some were...considerably more annoying about it.

On that note: one frustrating thing is that half the time, when I encounter a fight that's taking like no damage, I can't figure out why.  The final boss of the demo is a good example.  I did figure him out eventually, he blocks two attacks and retaliates with lowering attack and Poisoning you, and with a 2AP move that drops everyone to 1HP.  It is, in fact, kinda bullshit, and outright requires more than one party to handle as far as I can tell.  But there are other situations where things don't make sense to me.  Like the boss just before that.  The first fight, my party took like 14 damage, and took out 89 HP of their roster, including a full opponent.  The second fight, they killed my Brigand before going down by swinging for, apparently, 59 damage.  I do not understand how they did this.  Like yes, I see the skills pop up, but I do not comprehend what they mean half the time.  Reading over the enemy's stuff is extremely time-consuming, if you want a full understanding of how this all works.  Fortunately, it only ever seems to matter for is bosses.  The most confounding situation of this was once I had a good amount of damage, then applied the 3VP Lord skill to give everyone First Strike, and somehow my damage went way down and we were eating more damage.  I don't remember the conditions, but that is baffling.  My best guess is I landed Poison or Burn, and that enemy's priority would've taken them out before some of my attacks, which would've done more to back row?  Literally no idea.

There are a couple of tactics I'd really like to improve on.  One is leaders.  I feel like I could be doing a lot better about Leadership duties.  Usually I go with the cavs and fliers because mobility, but I do recognize that something like the armored knight would've been good against the Rock Rat map with all the archer spam.  Or using archers, mages, or healers for tower support.  I really need to work on that.  The last map was so clearly setting up "use this tower for support," and my party might have had a better time of that one with some support.  Valor is another.  I keep forgetting they have like...overworld effects.  Same map, Rock Rats, completely forgot about the ability to blow away barricades with 1VP move.  Would've saved me a lot of time, since I backpedaled into mining Divine Shards for Ochlys as my solution.  Barricades cannot stop flight.  The last is messing with team composition.  I feel like I clung really strongly to only one or two comps, and they are going to fail me over time.  I'm really reliant on Travis Dodge to manage one team, and it goes about as well as you could expect.  And eventually, Josef is going to fall off as a tank man.

Classes don't feel especially overpowering, although they do matter.  The bigger contribution is really team composition.  Which.  I have some that I like, and some I'm really not a huge fan of.  Once I get the game proper I'll spend more time reconfiguring and trying stuff out, because right now I'm not super attached?  The only team I really like is Ochlys/Bruno/Sharon/Auch.  And I admit, that's like 50% because Ochlys.  She's so good.  Though Auch's fire magic and Burn status is divine.  I dunno, I just...I feel like there are some options I need to work with more than I do.  I'm getting through the game fine, but I feel like the higher difficulty would kick my ass.  I also really like Fran for her horse-smiting ways and full row attacks.  Go figure, fliers and mages, just like my Fire Emblems.

At present I'm sitting on a ton of money I haven't spent, because I don't know how finite it will be moving forward.  I did wind up getting some nice equipment for characters, but not as much as I potentially could.  I'm just very...conservative about the whole situation.  And the majority of my problems feel like they come more from turn order than raw damage, with the first major boss being solved not through sheer damage output, but through status and multi-strike from Auch.  I think it's more a matter of figuring that stuff out than strictly getting bigger numbers, because most upgrades I could make are like 1-2 points, which is...not significantly interesting.

As for how far I made it...the first time though I just went for the ending once my time was running out, and it was brutal.  Missed a few characters, final boss was incredibly difficult but we did make it through.  Auch is my entire solution, turns out.  But I did replay it while skipping scenes for stuff I'd seen before, which it turns out saves a shitload of play time, and let me clear out everything in the south.  I didn't push north past Auch's map, when maps turned to level 10 challenges.  I really wanted to get Scarlett and the others first to keep them at a commensurate level.  I did, however, fuck around and find out by KOing all the roaming enemies and exploring, getting a lot of extra resources and an absolutely kickass sword.  Oh, and I repaired a bridge that apparently takes me to like...near the end of the game?  I assume that's what "recommended level 40" is, since they were talking about the heart of the empire and all.  Would love to know if this game can be sequence broken that hard.

That's all my thoughts for now.  I'm really excited to play this one.  I even took the day off work to pick it up and just play through it.  Always a good sign.  I think I needed something outside of my usual, and this game has been a ton of fun.  Looking forward to its release.

[mxtxfanatic]

My thing with Yu Wu/Remnants of Filth:

The novel feels too much like it attempts political intrigue mixed in with cultivation action, and it fails at the former while making the latter weaker as a result. Also, the action is undercut too much by Mo Xi’s quite frankly boring domestic issues, and his internal struggles get old real quick when it doesn’t feel like growth happens for a while. In 2ha, I only accepted this seemingly stagnant growth in Mo Ran because of the back-to-back missions that kept piling and all the never-ending action. Also, 2ha is twice as long, and my reading benefitted from me being able to skip to Mo Ran acting like he had sense, which was halfway through the story; 1,500 more pages of story was left to sit wit Mo Ran 2.0.

In Yu Wu, it’s split up by hundreds of pages of “let’s give Gu Mang chores!” “Let’s convince people I don’t want to protect Gu Mang by always trying to publicly protect him!” “Let’s cry about how amnesiac Gu Mang is so different from old Gu Mang!” “Oh look, more chores!” Mo Xi doesn’t feel like he starts acting with sense until the last 600 pages, of which we get another, what, 100 pages of domestic fluff? And then we pingpong back and forth between real shit and domestic fluff with amnesiac Gu Mang pt. 2 before the climax begins. There’s not enough time for me to sit with a Mo Xi putting clues together (for which he doesn’t, he’s just told things) and he and Gu Mang working as a team, or at least one of them competently trying to discover shit (which tbh would only be Gu Mang, but unfortunately the narration is mostly stuck to Mo Xi…).

I also can’t fully enjoy Mo Xi struggling with his morals, love for Gu Mang, and hatred of Gu Mang’s “treachery” when the only sure actions he takes makes him look like an idiot waiting to be slaughtered by the rest of the imperial court. I mean, grievously injuring yourself as if that’s something Gu Mang would want or that it would help his cause in any way, then waltzing into a torture session sanctioned by the emperor that was occurring while you were injuring yourself for no goddamn reason to rescue the most hated man in your country? I almost died of secondhand embarrassment, like??? Why would Meatbun make him do something so idiotic???? When Chu Wanning rescues Mo Ran from his execution in 2ha at the hands of the descendants of the gods who nobody in the cultivation world dared to go against, he took Mo Ran to hide, and they were both shunned by the greater cultivation world (but not by the people who knew them and their goodness). In Yu Wu, Meatbun was right to say that Mo Xi’s 3-day “house arrest” was a mind-boggling and anticlimactic conclusion to PUBLICLY GOING AGAINST THE EMPEROR, HOLY SHIT. Like, Meatbun obviously wanted to include political intrigue, but girl you cannot write political intrigue!!!

And on that note: I feel like we are given vital pieces of information entirely too late. Gu Mang having a mother figure he looked up to could have probably been mentioned at least once earlier than it was. In 2ha, we learn about Mo Ran’s background early on, but it’s how the story begins to change with more detail and color that we readers find out that, though we’ve known this story from the beginning, we didn’t actually know shit about Mo Ran’s story. In Yu Wu, we’re told Gu Mang is an orphan with only another similarly-aged slave as a friend; Aunt Li comes in way too late to really reap the satisfaction of foreshadowing. More hints about Princess Mengze’s true nature could have either 1) been dropped earlier or 2) been dropped better (having a servant say that a woman giving up on her feelings feels “too fake” sounds more like misogyny than a hint…). The treachery of the emperor, ugh… now for me, the “hints” that he was gonna be a bad guy looked exactly like the hints that Murong Lian was gonna be redeemed, and I didn’t like that one bit. Murong Lian does get redeemed, and the emperor dies a villain. The emperor being cruel and callous in public but a simpering mess in private felt like it should have been reversed, because him treating his court like entertainment did not give me the “I fear for their approval” vibe that was apparently the emperor’s whole hangup. And going back to Murong Lian: that wasn’t a redemption arc. “Mommy didn’t like me” is not a redemption arc to redeem a character WHO GLEEFULLY TORTURES SLAVES AND IS GLEEFULLY AN ENSLAVER, and Meatbun should know better because no character in 2ha that did anything comparable to Murong Lian got redeemed or forgiven by in-novel characters. So wtf happened here?

Also, the thing that was never fully redeemed for Murong Lian and also my biggest gripe of the book: Gu Mang. I absolutely love his character. Love how his hidden memories are hiding like actual layers of secrets upon secrets. Love finding out what he was truly thinking and going through, but I hate how OTHER PEOPLE have to put the pieces together for Mo Xi because he’s too much of an idiot blinded by his own emotions to think about anyone’s motivations and be proactive in discovering the truth. But the worst thing is how Gu Mang gets put into so many situations of torture by every character, including Mo Xi, for seemingly no reason other than us readers getting to watch him be tortured as an amnesiac who acts like a child. Most of the time I felt like that Simpsons meme where the kids are begging for someone to stop being beat cause “he’s already dead!” Anytime a new character showed up that Mo Xi didn’t already trust, I would think “oh great, another Gu-Mang-gets-tortured! arc…” That’s not enjoyable, for me. Especially given at the end, Gu Mang is actually revealed to be one of the smartest, most tenacious characters in the whole book. Mo Xi’s character feels weak next to that, and it makes the whole book feel weak as a result.

This would have likely been a better read if the narration followed Gu Mang instead of Mo Xi.