#the actual emotion i wanted for this wasnt there. I was THINKING of it but I can't get the proper words. Anyway. If I remember i wanna jerry
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my head's a bit clearer, some thoughts about act 3
-my biggest gripe is episode 7- cool idea, love the concept of peaking into a different universe and seeing what our characters couldve been under different circumstances, but a WHOLE episode. when you only had 9 episode in this season, that already feel like theyre moving at a neck's pace. for a universe that ultimately doesn't matter to the main universe where the story takes place. the fact it had timebomb made it feel extremely fan service-y.
-no emotional resolution to a lot of characters. viktor and jayce are the only ones i can think of that felt like they got the screen time and care for an actual emotional closure.
-isha wasn't even mentioned in this act. in general she was already a martyr for jinx's character development but guys can you make it less obvious.
-it started in act 2, hence why i was so jaded on it, but it continues here: just where the fuck the political drama between 2 cities go? the conflict between zaun and piltover took a back seat since episode 4 and never came back. the resolution to it isn't bad per say, but when u got so little focus on it in the finale it just feels rushed.
-i loved the cait and jinx scene. but like, that was the resolution to it??? after act 1 thinking about it disappoints me. im not against a conversation being the climax to a story, but that is, and im not joking, the ONLY conversation these 2 have in the show one on one. in general the jinx\cait\vi arc ends with 1 conversation per duo (well caitvi got one fight and one very steamy sex scene but u won't catch me complaining). and after act 1, idk i think i wanted just a little bit more. im biased though- the jinx\vi\caitlyn dynamic is my favorite part about arcane. the teasers for s2 always had them front and center so i assumed it'll play a bigger part in the story???
-i felt like what the show was at its core, which is the conflict between the sisters and the cities, was completely sidelined this season. in general i can't really tell what the main theme of the show is anymore. but yeah look at the resolution to the jinx and vi story.did it feel like it had the emotional impact u expected? cause i felt like it was underwhelming.
-sevika?? didnt speak since episode 4???? huhh???
-maddie was pointless. why was she there?? i don't understand the point of that character. i dont understand her motives. she ended up not mattering at all to caitvi's story. the only thing i got from her inclusion is "caitlyn fucks" but is it that THAT important??? of a character trait??? to add to caitlyn of all people?? in THIS season??? this belongs in the realm of fanfiction.
-a lot here felt like fanfiction actually. every silco inclusion (except of him in the cell with jinx), the whole "nobody dies au" they threw in the middle, even the caitvi sex scene (IM NOT COMPLAINING THO). the caitvi scene at the end was dialog out of fanfiction, wtf was that.
-why did caitlyn lose her eye? im not like against the idea on a base level but losing an eye is very symbolic, and im not sure what its supposed to represent here. caitlyn is an observant person, its a big character trait for her. so youre basically saying she sees less now? that she's more laser focused? i sure hope not. wasnt her whole arc with giving up of revenge about seeing the "bigger picture"? her sacrifice didn't feel in character, because caitlyn is not really a "fight to the death" type of character like ambessa is. if she made that sacrifice for something like love, or for the betterment of other people, that would be more in line. idk, you couldve made me on board with it but im just very meh on it. also caitlyn only really emotes through her eyes, it sucks that we get even less of it now?? though i guess it doesnt matter at this point.
-what was the point of the enforcer that looked like vander?
-ambessa was so wasted in these last 2 acts its crazy. where's the "you have to be the fox and the wolf" mindset from her? she felt like she was wolfing only with no wit anymore by the 3rd act.
-mel????????????? it was. uhhh. maybe you shouldve saved it for another series, riot. but in this show, waste of time. the fight she had with caitlyn against ambessa was cool tho.
-i sound like im a hater but u have to understand. s1 of arcane was a political drama and a character study show. seeing all this discarded for magic and time travel shenanigans on like 4 different fronts was so jarring it took me out of the show multiple times.
-cant believe im saying that, but i wish they'd try to stick closer to the characters' current state in the source material (the cursed game). someof it felt out of left field and done for shock value, which isn't why we love the story or these characters to begin with.
good stuff:
-caitvi sex lmao ill take it babyyyyy
-jayce and viktor's scenes at the end were powerful.
-as usual, the visuals were phenomenal. the animation is gorgeous. fortiche u made this show what it is and youre still its saving grace.
-thank god they dropped the warwick\vander plot
-i liked the implication of the conclusion to jinx's story, even if it felt a little inconsistent with the character.
-the ending to jinx\vi\caitlyn was poetic and i did love it, even if it was rushed and didn't really hit the emotional highs i wanted it to.
#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2 spoilers#that was a ride#this wont top the original but u can always just watch the first 4 acts and then skip to the caitvi sex#which is what ill be doing probably revisiting this show#ill give this a rewatch and probably wont be so harsh on it after but those are my first impressions
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Okay so this is almost a direct copy-paste of my earlier reblog but only the Xin Yuan parts, because its long enough to be its own post and i want to share it! It deserves it's own post <3 typical starry stuff to write a 2k word long reblog, unfortunately.
I say almost because I went through to proof read and ended up adding more stuff.
I've been cooking on this idea for the last two days since I saw the Xin Mo!Shen Yuan post but??? I can't find anything on Xin Mo's backstory or how it came to be -- which means that's free fucking plot right there baby. That's a sandbox and im making LIFE SIZED CASTLES. I'm so excited.
The idea of Shen Yuan transmigrating centuries before the events of PIDW as Xin Mo -- but when he wakes up, he's not the sword. He wakes up in the body of a young boy named Xin Yuan. Now it makes sense for this boy to be a demon, but the drama, the intrigue, the spice of Xin Yuan being a human child.
SY wakes up as a boy below the age of ten, and the System tells him where he is, and SY is excited to meet his favorite protagonist -- only to gradually realize that he's like, a thousand years or so before the events of the novel. The rant he gives the system is legendary.
Bc what's the point of getting dropped into PIDW if he's never going to meet his favorite character??? This is a scam! BUT he settles into his new life, he's like, some orphan street rat or some other tragic airplane-esq backstory.
The system gives Shen Yuan his first mandatory quest: become a righteous cultivator. Which was like, kinda his plan/hopes anyways, except! There's like?? No official cultivator sects anywhere? The Cang Qiong Mountain Sect hasn't even been established yet, and there are pockets of cultivators running around, maybe some groups or schools popping up and then sinking back down, but nothing's really taken root!
If he asks someone how to become a cultivator, there's no straight answer. No "oh you can go to X to do that". He's pissed! How can he become a cultivator if there aren't any schools around to teach him? Deus ex machina, that's how.
Out of sheer luck, SY manages to help save a rogue cultivator, and promptly gets adopted by said rogue cultivator, who gives SY the name 'Xin Yuan'. He is ecstatic. And you know what? It's actually pretty fun!
He's getting to travel the world of PIDW in its early stages, and gets to see the building blocks for the eventual main story. He's discovering all this local flora and fauna that are foreign to his old world and unmentioned in the book, and he's learning cultivation! Granted, its unsafe, newly(ish) discovered cultivation, but it counts!
Wistfully, he thinks about perhaps he'll do something grand and get his name carved into legend. Something that would eventually help the protagonist later down the line in his quest for revenge.
The system remains silent to his thoughts.
But Xin Yuan doesn't take much stock in that daydream anyways. It's nothing more than fantasy to him; wish-fulfillment. He does discover however, that he is positively brimming with spiritual energy. Overwhelmingly so.
It's both a blessing and a curse, as it puts a strain on his meridians if he's not careful, and leaves him prone to qi deviations for the exact same reasons. He already has a heart demon or two from a few traumatic experiences in the past.
(bc hey! angst a day keeps the writer sadism at bay, and all that)
I'll say he's about... eight when he gets picked up by the rogue cultivator, who I'm calling Lin Kai bc he deserves a name. They travel around PIDW up until Xin Yuan is twelve, where he goes through a traumatic experience that results in a heart demon.
It's after that that Lin Kai decides to put a stop to his wandering, and find a place to settle down to raise Xin Yuan in. Coincidentally! They settle down in a nice mountain region that's thriving with spiritual energy. The mountains at the time were called something different, but they will be eventually known as the Cang Qiong Mountain Sect
Coincidentally, the mountain Lin Kai and Xin Yuan end up on is Qing Jing Peak. XY does not realize that the mountain he's on is Qing Jing. The System does not tell him. But he likes it there, more than he was expecting. And as much as he's traveled around, he really does enjoy being in one place.
He has a tendency to go down the mountain and help the village setting up down there, and when he's a teenager he starts venturing out more and more.
Xin Yuan forgets sometimes that he's in a novel, especially after settling down on Qing Jing peak. The system becomes remarkably quiet since there's no quests for him to do and not a ton of opportunities to get B-Points. He cultivates with Lin Kai, helps tend to the garden they're growing, goes down to the village to play with the other kids.
There's one boy he's best friends with, a boy whose not all that good with words, named Liu Zhihao. He's got potential for cultivation though, so Xin Yuan drags him up the mountain when he can so that Liu Zhihao can sit in on lessons with Lin Kai. He drags him all over the forest at the foot of the mountain to go look at bugs and animals.
(One time, when they're fourteen and Liu Zhihao has been learning cultivation for a few years now, Xin Yuan drags him out of bed late one night to go look at the stars. Xin Yuan tells Liu Zhihao about ascension -- something that still feels like a far off dream to many in this time -- that night, while they're sitting on the wet grass.)
("We should ascend together." Xin Yuan tells Liu Zhihao, jade eyes gleaming. Never let it be said that Xin Yuan doesn't love deeply, no matter what kind of love it is. He was always so lonely as Shen Yuan, Liu Zhihao is his best friend. "We'll become immortals, and then we won't ascend until the other is able to.")
(Liu Zhihao stares at him silently, his face unreadable. Then, quietly, he asks; "Promise?")
("Promise.")
When he starts adventuring outwards, further away from the mountain and the village, Liu Zhihao sticks to him like rice. Not that Xin Yuan's complaining, that's his best friend after all, and Liu Zhihao has become a formidable cultivator. He deserves to show off his skills.
He starts making something of a name for himself by the time he's, like, 18 -- although that name is in its baby steps, along with Liu Zhihao. They're slowly growing renown.
Perhaps XY uses his knowledge of PIDW and cultivation in general to help make advancements in the cultivation field. Although the system prevents him from sharing too much, it doesn't mean he can't practice it himself. Perhaps he's one of the first cultivators to develop a golden core. One of the first known immortal cultivators. One of the first to have a spirit sword.
(Although I don't know the logistics of any of this since my knowledge on xanxia/cultivation stuff in general is all still pretty new and google wasn't all that helpful lol.)
Either way, its my excuse to eventually make Xin Yuan come across as ethereal to other people. Peerless beauty SY for the win. Hs wifebeam is too strong, Xin Yuan has a line of suitors following after him and he's completely unaware of it. The rest of history is not.
Demon realm stuff has been stirring up since Xin Yuan was a kid, but at the time it was rare and in the beginning stages. Its been steadily ramping up and the system is sending him on more and more treacherous quests -- some of them mandatory, some optional. SY doesn't often take the optional ones unless it comes with a sufficient B-point reward.
for all intents and purposes though, he's a wandering rogue cultivator with Liu Zhihao, going from place to place to either help a town or village, or to discover more creatures or artifacts (although there aren't that many). Just all around living his life. He participates in a few major quest lines that are sure to get him mentioned in legend, even if it's a background character way.
(Unbeknownst to him, rather than being a side character in these legends, he's named directly. You can't become one of the first immortal cultivators and NOT get name dropped for clout.)
He has a spirit sword named Shā Mó, (杀 shā - to kill/weaken/counteract/reduce) (魔 mó - evil spirit, demon, possession). He routinely goes back to QJP to see Lin Kai, or to rest when traveling has worn down on him and he wants nothing more than to sleep somewhere he knows he'll be safe in. It becomes more frequent as Xin Yuan becomes more famous. Liu Zhihao often comes with him.
it all comes to a head though when the rifts between the demonic realm and the human realm become too great, and the balance between both realms becomes unstable. A demonic emperor's influence, wanting to merge the two realms so he could conquer both to satiate his own greed.
Typical evil king stuff. This comes to a climatic head in a great battle between every cultivator available and the demon emperor's army. Xin Yuan was one of the many who helped lead the charge.
In the end, it was Xin Yuan who ends up defeating the demonic emperor, but the rift that the emperor used to cross between worlds is destabilizing as well. Except instead of trying to close, it's getting bigger and bigger, threatening to swallow the heavens and earth and demonic realm whole.
You know how Yue Qingyuan's soul is bonded to his sword due to a qi deviation? Let's take it a step further >:)
Xin Yuan uses himself and Shā Mó to close the rift. However, it takes all of his spiritual energy to do so, as well as him filtering the demonic qi into his body to redirect it back to the demon realm.
In the end, Xin Yuan and his beloved sword Shā Mó fuse. Xin Yuan's soul becomes trapped in the sword. His physical body is unable to handle the immense amount of power it takes to close the rift, and is destroyed. He is immortalized in legend by his grieving cultivators.
(Liu Zhihao ends up ascending alone. He ascends with the hope that one day he'll see Xin Yuan again, even if it's in the face of someone else. Lin Kai does not ascend, too weighed down by the grief of losing his son.)
Xin Yuan, now Xin Mo, falls into a stasis. He's very confused and disorientated when he regains 'consciousness'. The system has been silent for most of his life, only popping up to give him mandatory quests, hints, points, or to answer any questions.
But once he wakes up, it cheerfully pops up again, congratulating him on completing the origin story of Xin Mo. SY freaks the fuck out. he'd shake the system screen if he could, but he doesn't have arms. or legs. or eyes for that matter.
He can sense his surroundings, but its all like imprints to him. He can sense the energies, but he can't see anything. It's all very disorientating and horrifying after years of being human. Like a sensory deprivation chamber.
The closing of the rift and the cycling demonic qi tainted both Sha Mo and Xin Yuan irreparably, and it did some kind of damage that resulted in SY needing to feed in order to use the spiritual powers. Kinda like how Xuan Su uses YQY's life force for it's spiritual energy, but instead of feeding on his own lifeforce, Xin Mo feeds on others.
The rest is history. Xin Mo is originally tied to the story of Xin Yuan -- believed to be all that remained of the man after he sacrificed himself to keep the realms separate. It's believed that the force of the realms closing permanently infused Sha Mo with demonic energy, turning it into Xin Mo.
But, like many stories do when faced against the tide of time, things get lost; chipped off; changed. Xin Mo is steadily separated from Xin Yuan, especially once it becomes clear how parasitic the sword really is, until they are all but separate entities themselves and the origin of Xin Mo's creation all but forgotten.
The years blur together when Xin Mo is not being wielded, and at first Xin Yuan was agonized by the fact that he stole the lives of all his wielders. He knows it's only a novel, but his decades spent in this life have softened him, and he's grown attached to the world around him.
But time erodes the mind like water erodes stone, and he becomes numb to it, then eventually anticipating of it. He forces himself to remember what he knows of PIDW's plot, and kinda fixates back on his old obsession on Luo Binghe. But while PIDW stays in his mind, his memories as Xin Yuan fall to the wayside.
Not forgotten, per se, but... tucked away. The system prevents him from forgetting fully.
Xin Mo isn't fully a demonic sword either i think, but instead harbors an ugly cocktail of both spiritual and demonic qi. Special circumstances and all that. Everyone just assumes he's a fully demonic sword because that's usually at the forefront, his spiritual qi weakened from the initial fusion and from years of not being fed spiritual qi. It's part of the reason his wielders always end up destroyed by him, other than the whole, yk, 'overwhelming qi' thing.
Nobody would recognize Xin Mo's human form as Xin Yuan other than some truly ancient demons. Of which Meng Mo might. But even that's iffy because there's a lack of surviving paintings of Xin Yuan, but also because of XM's demonic appearance and supposed lack of connection to XY.
Xin Mo has never spoken to his wielders before, not in the same way he does Luo Binghe. He tells Luo Binghe this, and he also tells Luo Binghe down the line that he is both spiritual and demonic -- something he also never told his wielders because there was no point to it.
okay okay i've got to end it here because its already gotten ridiculously long -- of which im both apologetic and unapologetic for -- but i DO think the Shang Qinghua and Shen Yuan meeting (and reveal) would be fucking hilarious. Especially if SY has learned how to pop between sword form and human form by then -- although i guess it doesnt matter either way because SQH's reaction is still the same.
And that reaction is internally screaming and going "hey what the FUCK?? WHY DOES XIN MO HAVE A HUMAN FORM??? WHAT IS THIS??? SYSTEM??? EXPLAIN???"
meanwhile from his place on the sword hilt xin mo is squinting at Shang Qinghua in bewilderment and going "aren't you supposed to be dead" but doesn't pay too much mind to it because its not like its going to change anything.
...up until he catches shang qinghua going "WTF" silently from his little corner while all eyes are off him. One moment SQH is standing beside his king, and the next he's been tackled to the ground by one wild-eyed, human-shaped Xin Mo.
everyone, including SQH, thinks Xin Mo is going to kill him. It is a surprise to everyone when he does not, and instead dissolves into deranged, uncontrollable laughter after spitting out some phrase in some ancient tongue and watching SQH's eyes grow wide in recognition.
#svsss au#svsss#scum villain au#scum villain#scum villain self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#liu zhihao is indeed based off liu qingge. i am a multishipper at heart and liushen is a delicious ship. XY and LZ i think were very devote#to each other regardless of if it was romantic or platonic. they're besties! and im a sucker for devotion in all aspects. its neat :)#XM eventually tells LBH about how he used to be human once and he tells him about his Xiao Zhi. and that he hopes Xiao Zhi was able to reac#ascension in his absence. LBH silently seethes with jealousy and abandonment issues a mile wide. he asks XM if he misses him. XM gets this#unreadable distant look on his face that makes him look far more mortal than is comfortable. then he mutters 'yes.' LBH hates it#Cang Qiong sect gets miraculously spared by Luo Binghe on account of 'my demonic sword grew up here and he'd be upset if i ruined it'#does LZH look like LQG? ...i want to say yes bc itd be crime to derive SY of LQG's beauty even if he never knows what LQG looks like#imagine XM as human coming to clash with YQY. he takes one look at YQY. then at Xuan Su. before going 'we're alike. you and i.'#rip SQH. executed for the crime of *checks scroll* making XM laugh before Binghe could. making XM laugh at all actually#XM is usually very reserved and restrained but for the first time in a thousand years he's met someone just like him. the emotional rush#is intense. SQH asks him later how long he's been Xin Mo. expecting like. at LEAST a few years now or after him but then XM blinks at him#and then mutters something about how he's lost track of time. oh hey btw what year it is??? he forgot to ask. SQH tells him and Xin Mo says#'oh! about a thousand years now' 'WHAT' and XM tells him about being Xin Yuan which SQH was not expecting. whether thats because#he genuinely wasnt expecting it or it was part of his outline or an idea he messed around with and didnt expect to make it into the world#SQH tells him about the legend of Xin Yuan. XM is stunned. he asks about Liu Zhihao. LZH made it into legend too. which XM is very#pleased by. 'good. he deserves it for all the hard work he put in.'
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One of my favorite parts of phase 2 (and indeed one of the few moments I resonated with IDW Prowl) was when the neutrals were coming back to Cybertron and Prowl said that he refused to let Autobots be pushed aside and overruled after they were the ones who fought for freedom for 4 million years (the exact wording escapes me atm).
And I mean, that resentment still holds true even once the colonists come on bc like. As much as it's true that Cybertron's culture is fucked up, and as funny as it can be to paint Cybertronians as a bunch of weirdos who consider trying to kill someone as a common greeting not important enough to hold a grudge over.... The colonists POV kind of pissed me off a lot of times, as did the narrative tone/implications that Cybertronians are forever warlike and doomed to die by their own hands bc it just strikes me as an extremely judgemental and unsympathetic way to deal with a huge group of people with massive war PTSD and political/social tensions that were rampant even before the war?
Like, imagine living in a society rife with bigotry and discrimination where you get locked into certain occupations and social strata based on how you were born. The political tension is so bad there's a string of assassinations of politicians and leaders. The whole planet erupts into an outright war that leads (even unintentionally) to famine and chemical/biological warfare that destroys your planet. Both sides of the war are so entrenched in their pre-war sides and resentment for each other that this war lasts 4 million years and you don't even have a home planet any more. Then your home planet gets restored and a bunch of sheltered fucks come home and go "ewww why are you so violent?? You're a bunch of freaks just go live in the wilderness so that our home can belong to The Pure People Who Weren't Stupid And Evil Enough To Be Trapped In War" and then a bunch of colonists from places that know nothing about your history go "lol you people are so weird?? 🤣🤣 I don't get why y'all are fighting can't you just like, stop??? Oh okay you people are just fucked up and evil and stupid then" ((their planets are based on colonialism where their Primes wiped out the native populations btw whereas the Autobots and OP in particular fought to save organics. But that never gets brought up as a point in their favor)) as if the damage of a lifetime of war and a society that was broken even before the war can just magically go away now that the war is over.
Prowl fucking sucks but he was basically the only person that pointed out the injustice of that.
And then from then on out most of the characters from other colonies like Caminus and wherever else are going "i fucking hate you and your conflicts" w/ people like literal-nobody Slide and various Camiens getting to just sit there lecturing Optimus about how Cybertronians are too violent for their own good and how their conflicts are stupid, with only brief sympathetic moments where the Cybertronians get to be recognized as their own ppl who deserve sympathy before going right back to being lambasted.
Like I literally struggled to enjoy the story at multiple points because there was only so much I could take of the characters I knew and loved being raked over coals constantly while barely getting to defend themselves or be defended by the narrative so like. It was just fucking depressing and a little infuriating to read exRID/OP
#squiggposting#and like dont get me wrong barber wasnt trying to make cybertronians the bad guys or whatever#it's just a problem with his writing where like. he has A Message he wants to send#and so he uses the entire story literally just for The Message even if it involves bullshit plotlines#or familiar characters ppl were reading about for the past decade being shit on by OCs made up to fill a new roster#like barber's writing tends to lean way too much on a sort of lecturing tone#without giving proper care towards including moments where characters get to like. fucking express themselves and share their side#sort of like how barber couldnt be bothered to write pyra magna and optimus actually talking to each other during exrid#and instead during OP ongoing pyra is suddenly screaming about how OP is unteachable#even tho she never even tried to teach him bc she and OP never interacted bc i guess barber couldnt be bothered#he just needed someone to lecture OP so fuck making the story make sense or like letting OP get to say anything in defense#this is the infuriating part of barber's writing bc i think he has incredible IDEAS and was in charge of the lore i was most interested in#but most of the time his execution sucks and he's basically just mid with a few brilliant moments occasionally#or like he has a message about the cycle of violence he wants to convey#but his narrative choices trying to convey that theme made his story come off as super unsympathetic to the ppl who suffered#to the point where barber actively kneecapped some scenes that couldve been super fucking intense and emotional#in favor of the characters lecturing each other or some stupid plot to criticize OP#that time in unicron where windblade screamed about how this is their fault and then arcee replied that her planet is build on coloniation#shouldve happened more often than literally the last series of the ocntinuity. like goddamn stfu about your moral superiority#when your own sins are right fhere lol
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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almost forgot about this. made as soon as i finished reading day 48 and booted down my laptop . good god. not quite sure what happened with this. it was something to the effect of 'oh. god he really loved didn't he.' in full force AGAIN. the parts of banging on the door, doors in general, just carmen as a whole other thing, the yelling, the want to die to sink to be forgotten. yeah. that was a trip. carmen... i know you meant well with your words but he took it LITERALLY......
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#ayin lobcorp#I WAS. SO UPSET WHEN I WAS MAKING THIS is so sketchy and a mess but i wasnt able to clean it up because of just how upset i was#actual physical emotional pain in my body. couldnt. croid. LMAOO yeah#god just thinking back on it again..#he was the one to find her. her in the water. in the bath. in her own blood (?)#banged and yelled and called out her name knowing it was pointless#not wanting to open that door because he knew what was on the other side#yet yanking like a madman on the handle to try and force it open#calling out her name and the only audible response being the running water#desperation fear hurt hurt open the door god open the door please have it shut i dont want to see whats on the other side#and it opened. it opened. her eyes wont open again though. they wont#he was alone when doing this to righr??? right???? just him at a door probably forcing himself against it until his body aches until the#door opens. would his knuckles have burned? would his arms have ached? his throat started to feel as if it were falling apart?#for a man who was one to be stated of few words#to now yell at the door wanting so desperately for it to open yet stay forever shut to be blind to the result#it mustve. it mustve burned.#how long was it? how long did it feel like it was?#anyways yeah. uhm. haha..#I WANT TO MAKE A WHOLE POST JUST BEING A not quite analysis i dont think anything like this could be called analysis ON ALL THE As#aughhhhfhh i fell in love with him sorry. i really really like him. and. everyone else too. man i just love lobcorp
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the billionaires paying off the government to shape it to suit them will not voluntarily give up power, the working class must seize this power. trump does not stand for the average american but rather only serves to further divide the working class, by appealing overwhelmingly to folks that share his views of hatred and feeding them lies to make them believe their neighbor is the enemy instead of elon musk or jeff bezos. this distraction of in-fighting in the working class then diminishes the ability to organize and allows the mega-rich to do whatever they want behind the scenes. folks don't notice that these people are infringing on their rights because they're too concerned with harboring hate towards their immigrant neighbor or their liberal kids, who were never their enemy until trump told them so. it's all part of the plan to increase the divide between rich and poor and increase the power of the rich.
#working class#seize the means of production#eat the rich#america is being fed an illusion of separation to drive us apart until its real#the middle class is being separated and eroded down to widen the power gap between the rich and the poor#kamala wasnt gonna stop any of this either shes as much a part of the machine as trump#but trump cant even be bothered to try to conceal his interests in power above all else and using that power to only help his rich buddies#also the democratic party is crumbling as proven by their increasingly shady tactics every year#dems didnt even get a primary or a chance to pick their candidate...#kamala historically polled low like dems would not have chosen her if they ever even had the chance#no matter who won it was never going to be an actual election its all a farce and an illusion#no people had any real choice in which candidates made it to the election#it was purely here's your two choices#theyre exactly the same (capitalist imperialist etc) but different colors (red or blue)#i hate it here#t#trump is not for the average american#he is lying to you and tricking you to gain power#he wants you to fight with your neighbors and family so you have nothing left but an idol promising youre right and delivering nothing#trumps goal was to be as disagreeable and out there as possible so dems looks frantic and panicked and emotional#its LITERALLY all part of his plan#hes not gonna drain the swamp#hes gonna put rich out of touch people in positions of power and cut all funding to public support systems#if you voted for this i truly believe youve been tricked and youre stupid for letting that happen but also#its easier to trick someone than convince them they've been tricked so its an uphill battle once trump has already deceived the masses#literally fuck this people are so fucking dumb ive been trying to not insult people but this is truly what it comes down to#trumpers who say its all an illusion and we're being tricked but think trump is the solution rather than the puppetmaster himself is nuts#you're being fooled tricked bamboozled hijinksed#like i said i was not for kamala either shes still part of the machine but at least she didnt outwardly promise to dismantle rights...#lowkey wanna tag this trump 2024 just so trumpers actually see it like theyre the ones that need to know lmao
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Why did you make this AU?
Short answer: I love unethical men.
#i have a Thing for emotional manipulation in fiction. originally i wasnt supposed to talk about nick on main#usually when i see emotional manipulation in comics or fics or else its too... obvious? like. not subtle enough to be... realistic?#i dont know if im making sense. but theres multiple things i think about when making nick lore#1) no one wakes up one day thinking 'im gonna be a bad person today ! :D'#2) no one wakes up one day thinking 'im gonna let myself get manipulated today ! :D'#theres gotta be plausable deniability *or* youre in too deep to even try to deny-- that wasnt your original question was it#anyway. to stop the rambling: i have a thing for exploring the worst parts of the human psyche *and* im a homosexual.#i want to see bad people who are genuinely bad people and there's not a lot of those so im making 'em myself#...nick isn't as bad as it could get really. he's pretty tame actually#maybe i'll make worse things one day#ask#powercoreact#and of course there's the fact that nick was originally a vent thing but that's a story you unlock at lvl. 5+ friendship#arsenic#omori au#omori
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This is technically a Diana's age poll but I framed it partially around Julia's rescue because that's the event I need to contextualize and whether or not Diana is a thing yet is p important for my purposes. I would keep the Pérez run and postcrisis continuity in mind when answering this bc that's when this is relevant but I'd keep in mind that even though Diana is very young there (like early 20s) we don't know I don't think if she ages differently as a child (esp as a themysciran AND being made from clay) and in some versions she is older than she looks and was made earlier
Edit: I accidentally logic-ed this out in the tags lol 🤦♀️but feel free to still vote however you want. Going to publish this anyway bc I think I made some good points later in my tags
#blah#the 45 years is a guesstimation of julias age w her being in her late 40s#bc she has a middle school aged daughter which would make you lean a bit younger but shes also highly respected prof at harvard (is she the#dept head? i think so. and has a career that would suggest older. and shes also drawn middle aged so 🤷♀️#i would say late 40s early 50s for her honestly. but i moved it down a lil bit bc of vanessas age#wait shit i may have contradicted logic here bc wasnt the diana trevor stuff supposed to have happened before dianas birth. and that was#wwii. which would be btwn 42 and 45 years. BC PÉREZ!TREVOR IS OLD I FORGOT THAT#okay so actually there still could be a question of what happened first the timeline would just be much shorter#but then wouldnt julias family be boating during wwii? that makes no sense#im definitely thinkimg too hard about this probably. logically it would make the most sense if diana was like 20smth in reality. but thats#its own basket of worms honestly. like what do you mean hippolyta only had like 20 yrs w her daughter out of a lifespan of thousands of#years. what do you MEAN she became champion and ambassador so young like#like also thats the point though. she had to wear a mask in the challenge for a reason. her inexperience with men is what makes her the kind#of ambassador they need. and her youth and relation to hippolyta and role as the baby of the amazons is one of the things that makes her#ambassadorship SO important is bc she fulfills that role in an ancient sense. where it would be a sign of great trust and respect to send#someone close to the crown as an envoy bc it shows you mean business and arent going to reneg on whatever the deal is. bc if you do they#shoot the messenger#god anyways i very much answered my own question here in the tags like 100%. esp in regards to the pérez canon bc he very much laid this out#and i was trying to weasel my way out of it. only that didnt work and the decisions he made he made for a reason and they have huge#narrative importance. damn. okay then#i always write the shittiest posts and the best tags and then have to keep the post to keep the tags#i rlly need to make these tags posts ugh. anyways keeping this up bc of my tags abt diana and ambassadorship#also sidenote I LOVE HIPPOLYTA#just though id mention that. i love how much shes motivated by love and i also love when she makes fucked up decisions bc of that and has to#live with them. woman of all time FOR REALS#god this is making me want to reread historia again lol bc its the one ww comic i own. also its fire. and hippolyta gets to make shitty#decisions motivated by emotion and live w the consequences. and the comic is actually good unlike when that happened in the messner-loebs#run. which was the other instance of that ive read rlly. 10000% sure there are others but i havent fully gotten there yet.#i mean ive read other comics where she makes painful decisions thats like her whole deal but there are different vibes to those than the two#i mentioned. like the exile thing in ww year 1 or rlly anytime she has to send diana away
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blah blah blah blah blah
#i have real thoughts rn i am just so overwhelmed with feeling that this is all that can come out#tldr: i wish i could just spend my time traveling and treating women how they Deserve to be treated (well. loved)#thinking about how many people i see who are so deeply sad#thinking about how many ppl ive had a positive impact on even if we ended on terrible terms#thinking about how many more people i could help if i just had the resources ....#thinking about how fucked the psychiatric industry is and how so many therapists suck#thinking about how i actually love being the mommy therapist friend a lot of the time and my limits surrounding that really just come from-#-the fact i Dont have the resources to do this for everyone bc i also have to manage other things in life and work and such#thinking about how if i could i would actually do free emotional labor like. all the time.#thinking about how much it sucks i cant do this#thinking about how much i want to hold every sad girl i see on my dash and let them cry into my arms until they cant anymore#thinking about how much i love my friends#thinking about how much I love...... everyone i meet#not in the like Romantic way but in the “oh hello. you crossed my path. i love you. i love you. i love you. thank you for being alive” way#thinking about all the people who have harmed me and how i Still feel so much love for all of them#thinking of the strangers who have been both rude and kind to me and how much i think of them. how deeply i hope they're still alive.#it..... hurts to love this much ngl#but pushing it down feels worse and im full of this feeling of tender frustration????? because of it#i love that i have so many people who allow me to love them and love me in return#i want to reach through the screen and kiss every follower and mutual and person i follow on the forehead and tell them I love them#i wish i could express more love for people w/o them falling In love with me or being weirded out thinking im In Love w/ them....#i wish i could express better that its not that im aromantic but that i just have so much love at my baseline that its hard for me to-#-Fall in love unless we constantly are talking and communicating and like. working to that together without sounding like a jerk or like im+#+a saint. im not a saint. im not. i just love you. ):#ANYWAY sorry for all those feelings if i didnt get them out i was gonna explode#that also definitely wasnt really a tldr
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sobbing
#its kinda dumb#but im so angry and heartbroken that katie got rid of all our LPS's#i always have been ig#she did it with a lot of shit that our smaller parts miss really bad#we used to wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety that she had gotten rid of something else we loved and then we'd go check#god i hate her#what the actual fuck#i also used to dread when winter would be over because i knew there would be a mandatory day i had to go through everything#and i wasnt allowed to Not#she's so fucking mean#just. that's a fucking child man#let them have their fucking things#im also angry because i can't replace these things to try and make us feel better or whatever#that's stuff that's just gone and not being produced anymore#im so sad#genuinely someone just was like. I want to die so theres some intense feelings in the brainspace rn#fascinating what stuff really hurts#i'm glad it's not everything anymore#but you'd assume the big stuff would still cause the most distress#granted there is some big stuff that is still heavily dissociated from anyone who fronts#most alters are internal only tbh#or emergency only#i've made a lot of progress but i think ive just realized that there's still a lot to go#and it's probably a lot of stuff that im embarrassed to call trauma#it's easier to call rape trauma than psychological/emotional abuse#even the more covert sex abuse is easier for me to accept
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now bc of that one post abt zelda getting fridged whenever that one guy directs a zelda game im thinking abt tetra just getting turned to stone in ph and like. what would it have been like if she were an actual character in ph. what would she have done how would this have changed the story
#not gonna do a whole lot of tagging im just musing. if you wanna rb or reply with ideas thats great#im not the person to figure this out bc i dont actually care much abt tetra#not like oh i hate her but like. i only played ph and what i see of her beyond that has not endeared me to her#shes fine i just dont get it. ig cuz i didnt play ww but eh#cuz like. ok. pretty much the majority of phs plot relies on tetra having been turned to stone and fixing that#and me being the autistic little freak i am the psrt that also makes it hard for me to wonder what could happen if#tetra werent stone and that making the game better is like. ok what about linebeck and his arc#listen his arc is so fucking good and hes great and i dont think his arc would have been so good if link wasnt the character he was put wit#cuz link is a great foil and despite having minimal characterization has just the right personality to nudge linebeck along#cuz hes def part of what inspires some of that change in linebeck so idk what might have happened#if tetra was an active player interacting with him in ph too. cuz like idk most of the time when i see people#do stuff where they interact its usually tetra one upping linebeck or whatever and thars like. ok thats whar ciela does#maybe im reading into it too much and focusing on linebeck. idk how you couldve done and changed#the plot of ph to include tetra without just straight up rewriting the whole thing or putting link away#bc look me in the eyes. i do not think linebeck would have developed the way he did without having met link specifically#salty talks#idk i feel like linebecks arc is the best bit of story in ph so i want that to remain more or less intact bc thats where a lot of#the emotional stuff comes in at the end. his dialogue in the ghost ship battle and the final boss. its important#i dont think about tetra much cant you tell. so id leave this to someone who actually cares abt her as a character
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Posts about bpd need to stop being so damn relatable to me 🤨
#listen im not saying i must have bpd cuz of a bunch of relatable tumblr posts dont clutch your pearls on me#but hm im starting to get suspicious ajsjk#just been spending these past few months really digging into my deeply repressed memories and emotions and i keep discovering more and more#fucked up shit lol like first its being forced to acknowledge that i have a bit more than some ‘minor trauma’#and that ive actually just been like horribly abused like. my entire life and still am 😟#then it was like really trying to think about myself and what ive done to cope with abuse and like ive constructed an entire person#to just live as whenever im in the abusive situations and when i was removed from the situation for the first time ever#i had like a huge crash a huge crisis i both functioned way better than everyone said i would like suspiciously better#but also way worse at the same time#i could handle all the responsibilities of living alone i never once felt scared or homesick i was clean i was efficient i used money wisely#but i also felt like i was dying and i couldnt function when my persona dropped#cuz i didnt need to be that person anymore i could finally be me but then like. who even is me ive never gotten to find out#i dont know basic ways to behave i still have no clue how to exist or what i truly want vs what i pretended to want#its all completely muddled and its hard to explain that i cant tell whats genuine with me and whats fake#cuz ive been forced to live the fake shit my entire life you know? ive had to and i had to accept it#ive never gotten to make any of my own actual decisions and at the same time i have to decide everything for everyone else#im the parent of my parents but never was the child and the child is still there asking for attention but no one is there#then you know i had to return to the abuse and so its like i did get to taste freedom but not for long and i spent all my time in that#crisis mode so it wasnt exactly a fun filled time but being back here is much worse than before cuz now i know whats happening#and how i have to perform and its like how do i discover anything about myself in this kinda environment and no one understands the turmoil#the reason why something simple like wearing different shoes is so impossible for me#its just a horrible environment to be in i am in hell constantly ive no clue whats happening and im very obsessive over everything#aaaaghhhhhhh help girl help lol
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Cries I'm binging Scars episodes of secret life, on episode 8 right now and the way he's so distrustful of everyone and keeps saying "no-dont- no more hurting,every time someone says [I'll help you] that they hurt me" I always see those posts about how the traffic light series is giving trauma to the characters but I NEVER WATCH THE LATER EPISODES I GET IT NOW I NEED TO GO BACK AND READ ALL OF THE TRAFFIC LIGHT FICS can someone tell me what tag its under for ao3 because ts gone through like 4 name changes
#genuinely ouch im getting like actual stabs of emotional pain because like. thats LITERALLY THE MOST TROPE QUOTE YOU CAN GET BUT HES SAYING#“NO MORE HURTING” SO GENUINELY IT HURTS EVEN IF I KNOW ITS PRETEND#along with the fact like. okay maybe this was projection but i could feel how pissed he was in ep 7#after getting chased around he /wanted/ to keep being the villain and chase down everyone but he couldnt#talk talks#secret life#traffic smp#thank god tumblr knows the correct tags automatic tag filler my best friend#i really want to make art but also i feel a bit odd making art for scar just in secret life cause its such a stupid reason#the wither chase wasnt very wheelchair acceptable thats it i need to do research into different mobility aids but i think scar uses a#wheelchair because he has like the breathing tubes right and its like connected to an air canister i dont know i havent researched#but i would want to give him the correct representation cause that time in scarland or whatever he saw cleos posing of a wheelchair kid#that moment lives rent free i need more art of wheelchair and mobility aid scar just so that moment never stops living rent free#ill figure it out later
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idk if anyone has done this before but da2 au where you think at first its a both twins lived au and then find out bethany died and thats actually non-warden amell posing as her. something something escaped with jowan maybe, found her relatives in lothering, sought refuge with them and when bethany ended up dying it was way lower profile for amell to take the place of her cousin than try to get in to kirkwall with them as a non-immediate family member (especially given that leandra is publicly coming in as an amell and theres a resemblance and its known revka had mage kids taken to the circle and im sure theres a bulletin out or whatever for an escaped apostate matching amells description). points if people comment on how ‘bethany’ clearly takes after her mother. leandra is not normal about it. aveline knew the real bethany at least in passing bc of living in the same town and treats this as a reason for her distrust of hawke and co and one of the reason she sabotages carvers application with the guard.
#gamlen has fights with leandra about it and both of them are uncomfortable with the situation in their own ways#if amell ends up recaptured and taken to the gallows cullen is obviously a massive threat to her#im thinking ignore the dai retcons of his character and actually yknow. look at what his creepy dao characterization and position in the#kirkwall templars would reasonably amount to in a person and have him threaten that he can have her exposed as amell instead of bethany any#time he feels like it (and thus get her made tranquil or executed) so its up to her to try to make sure he doesnt feel like it#by doing whatever he wants her to. this is actually slightly more cunning than you would expect out of this guy but he has plenty of#other kirkwall templars to ape this particular kind of plan/behavior from. it would fit really well with a bunch of the canon stuff we see.#and much in the same way that the bethany you end up with as a non-mage hawke is fundamentally a different character than the bethany that#had another mage sibling to grow up with and thus was not as isolated and in a position to blame herself for#i think an amell that ends up in this situation is not the star student of the first enchanter. i mean she couldnt fight well enough to#affect the ogre or heal well enough to save the real bethany. and she wasnt brought on the expedition despite not having leandra's 'leave#your baby sister out of this dangerous trip' happening bc as weird as leandras relationship to a#amell is its still one where if amell could be doing something to try to prove herself useful to the family she would#if she was straight up escaping kinloch with jowan i think she had reason to believe she was more unsafe than usual in the circle#and lacked the 'safety net' of the first enchanter giving a shit about her. so. probably at risk from cullen. hah wow this is a much darker#au than i first anticipated which given the initial concept is 'emotional problems from posing as her dead cousin' centric says something
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Yeah so me and my bff have decided to stop watching hunter x hunter. Turns out we were one ep away from Kite's death and that was the only ep we watched today before being mega disappointed and deciding the rest of the show just was not worth it. I hadn't cared about anything in the show except Leorio, Feitan, and Chrollo until Kite showed up and the Chimera Arc actually started getting interesting. But we were just disappointed that Kite didn't even get a proper death, it just skips the whole thing and shows Neferpitou with his severed head for shock value. We didn't even get to the stupid Kite ant reincarnation shit, we just sat there and complained for like 20 minutes lmao. And the fact that it was actually only 10 eps in with 51 left knowing it was going to be nothing but training arcs and fights against ants and all without the Better Kite. Not worth all that time. Not even worth knowing that Feitan comes back either.
#also guess what. she got spoiled almost immediately that kite dies too. but she told me after he died and i chose not to say i was also#spoiled and pretended not to be fjfnfkfnfk. i was just. ya know. hoping for an emotional death. not throwing away one of the only#interesting char just for shock value and to show off neferpitou#im adopting kite out of hxh. hes my character now and im going to do what i want with him (i.e. sexualize him /j)#i might adopt feitan too just cuz in still attached to him#and btw this happened IMMEDIATELY after we finished demon slayer season 4 so like. the expectations were way too high#(i cried twice during that btw. and we were thinking too deeply about tokito and theorizing he couldnt remember which brother he was#which honestly made it a bit disappointing when we confirmed there really wasnt an identity mystery. it woulda been so cool if#he couldnt remember which brother he was and we never got confirmation. we tricked ourselves with that one lmao)#anyway sorry for shilling hxh just cuz the first 9 eps of season 5 is the best it gets 😔#and theres other good moments too. but this was the only time i actually felt invested in all aspects of the plot#and sorry to people that like it. im sorry we will never understand each other. at least i tried. kite my beloved i will grieve what you#deserved but never got#personal
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rotating luna in my head rn ( ・∇・)
#auri rambles#no thoughts head empty and im gonna have to flesh out the lore later but#he has a history of getting bitches but not necessarily wanting them even before the whole immortality thing happened#like uh i think pre-perpetua he had a relationship with a girl named maria-isabel. everyone expected them to get married#(+ everything that entails). luna liked her on an emotional level but he was super uncomfortable with Physical Intimacy(TM).#he could do the courting just fine but things fell apart once they moved past that#he didnt have the vocabulary to communicate asexuality and conceptually she thought it was weird and that his discomfort was from#like him secretly cheating or actually being gay or something#(it wasnt. he's asexual & kind of sex-repulsed). but luna's inability to 'commit' brought Shame and Humiliation upon him somewhat#but moreso maria-isabel (and her family).#so he decided to prevent that from happening again he'd just do the sensible thing and help start a friend's globe-building project#completely opting out of the societal expectations involving relationships and starting families and everything else.#and then things fell apart on perpetua after edward ran off to join marcianus and agustin died#so no luna's 20s were not good to him at all
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