#the US seems to be pretty bad at making good cartoons that aren’t for kids

[plaidos]

ok, question of the day: what are the top 5 western animated tv shows?

[therobotmonster]

I am about halfway through season 1 of Steven Universe and...it's not bad, per se, it just seems to be designed to create reaction GIFs from, in the same way that 80s cartoons were designed to make toys out of. So I am somewhat confused on how this became, like, the show people were talking about, for years, and left behind a drama crater the size of the Minoan Eruption. So I would like your thoughts, opinions, forbidden knowledge on this subject, any of it (saying "ask again when you've finished the show" is also okay).

Things will get much more clear as time goes on, and its hard to say in detail what I think the problem is without spoiling things, but I think I can address a problem with media literacy around kidvid, and I can use She-Ra to talk about some similar issues without spoiling SU.

There's a spectrum of how genre fiction approaches its fantastical elements, largely in how much of the events reflect the realities of the world-building, and how much they're not actually about real world things. It's the simulated reality VS the allegorical playground, and nothing is really all of one and none of the other.

Kidvid, no matter what else it is about, or how well constructed its world-building, is almost always about the the emotional realities of the target audience. This pretty much has to happen as that’s what aiming a show at children means. This is even true for the Advert-Toons of the 80s and 90s. 

The core GI-Joe fantasy, according to the showrunners, was he comforting idea that if you’re in trouble, you’ll have a big squad of friends to back you up. Cobra is “a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world” but they’re actually just the jerky kids on the playground that fight about who is boss, bully other kids, and don’t share. You aren’t supposed to take the supervillainy seriously, it’s just there to be an exciting adventure... in short:

“By the time reinforcements show up, your mom should be waiting for you in the bus turnaround”

But cartoons have gotten more sophisticated since then (on average, there’s always been gems) and so have their allegories. One need only compare old and new She-Ra for that. This is, overall good, and the kids are largely going to like it and be done well by it, as they’re interacting with it on its intended level.

It’s real easy to overlook the doomsday devices or the existential nightmare of a mind control scheme when the allegory is about good play vs bad play. Nobody is going to put together a sincere think-piece about OG Shadow Weaver being a war criminal, and thus unworthy of being offered redemption in the old series. 

There will, however, be stronger feelings about Shadow Weaver from the New She-Ra, as her allegory is “abusive gas-lighting mother figure.” The show recognizes this, and so her turnaround had to come with a self-sacrifice.

Entrapta, on the other hand, is an allegorical kid, like the rest of the princesses. She represents the audience in the same way the other girls do. Her misdeeds are often seen as unforgivable acts of near-genocide, and while that is factually true, in-universe, in the story, in the emotional reality of the tale as intended for the audience, the whole planet-quake thing is representative of a screw-up. A screw up that feels so big that it seems like you’ve destroyed the world. 

For an adult audience seeing the events only as in-story actions, that’s not the kind of mistake you can come back from. But if you’re a kid that’s ever done something that caused a lot of harm you didn’t intend, you know that feeling. If you’re a kid who made a small mistake and has rejection dysphoria (something kids who relate to Entrapta might deal with) you know what that feels like. And the idea that such a mistake is recoverable is essential.

The recent shows aren’t entirely blameless. They make mistakes in how they present their allegories from time to time, because they’re human shows written by human beings. But largely, its the friction between a genre cartoon trying to address a big emotional reality and a big constructed fantasy world together, and the cross-bleed causing problems with the communication of both, at least in the case of its adult audience.

[cozymochi]

38?

38: Professor Membrane: a good daddy or a neglectful cold father?

Starting this off with subtlety aren’t ya

ahem. Fine. I’ll f i n a l l y say a piece…!!!

TBH? I don’t either are very good reads. 😩 They’re way too “ONE OR THE OTHER”- both are pretty black and white again and neither feel right tbh… i don’t think it actually matters? …BUT Let’s talk anyway!!

In the original series Membrane didn’t actually show up enough to really say anything good or bad about him like that, and he doesn’t do anything really significant the whole series. Dib and Gaz didn’t really show any signs of being bugged by anything he does in particular either. (Mainly because in a meta sense, this concept didn’t exist at this time- we’ll get back to this)

I should probably note something about that entire family: None of them were fully realized as we know them now in the og series. Excluding Dib to a degree, they were all pretty flat and works in progress.

Membrane’s behavior highly depended on the writer. In one episode, he’s not around altogether and has pre-recorded messages to his kids. In another, he’s working from home and seems to be involved.

In “Game Slave 2” he wouldn’t even let Gaz leave the house at night unless her brother was with her, cuz he said it’d be too dangerous for her to be alone. Within the context of the universe and cartoon logic (where kids generally have more freedom/independence than IRL), that’s not really a lot to work with.

But also in a later ep he exploits his daughter’s image and subjects her to “painful experiments.” The apology comes in taking her out to pizza. Like. Wut. Lol. Actual “parenting” doesn’t really come in much, but that’s nothing too damning tbh given he wasn’t a focus anyway. It’s just a bunch of random stuff depending on what joke wants to be made.

OG Membrane wasn’t really there in-series, but the children weren’t really inherently bothered by anything on a personal level. Dib didn’t have any personal issue with his dad yet- and seemed actually proud to be related to him. Gaz just wanted to hang out with him in the rare instances they could. It more so just: “he’s busy.” Not much to it. I don’t think any of this was meant to be thought about deeply. Anything he does was just a means to an end or a gag. Nothing he did personally ever affected the characters or plot that deeply that often. If at all. Just his resources did.

UNTIL WE HIT THE COMICS… where an active attempt was made by JV and the writers to pretty much redo this entire family and flesh them out more in ways the series did not. Until we reach Enter the Florpus which is- to me- a culmination of all the changes made. Reminds me of musical theatre where they workshop a show then keep making edits until there’s a quote “definitive” version.

These versions also seem to be the ones that gain the most focus during talks like this. So. I’m gonna be on that now. WhY dOeS thiS mAtTeR?? Well it shouldn’t but—

Comics and Florpus (mainly the latter) brought in the acknowledgment that the kids, on some level, are being emotionally affected by what Membrane does or does not do… Most notably, Dib. So much so that earning his pride became one of Dib’s new personal motivations because how his dad acts makes him believe he’s ashamed of him. This did not exist before. Gaz seems to also feel something, but it’s pretty clear she respects her dad too much to say anything— but she also knows he’ll do anything in the name of “science,” so she uses that to get him to do what she wants rather than do what Dib does. Gaz just invests herself in video games rather than actively think about these things. It’s easier.

WITH ALL THAT now on the table, it really does re-contextualize a ton of stuff in the original as a result. Once somebody else (i.e the children) are showing explicit signs of feeling a type of way, it can make shit that was just a one-note “for the lulz” thing a lot more messy to any viewer. The whole “neglectful bastard” rhetoric got a lot more prominent cuz it makes whatever this amputee shampoo bottle does or doesn’t do more impactful. Also the changes had this effect of making that family seem more “real” if that makes any sense? I legitimately don’t hate their current dynamic (it’s a lot more palatable I think, but I digress). Once something feels more real here comes the— the… identifying… 🤢 and identifying leads to….dadcourse…!

BUT it can be frustrating to watch him learn nothing all the time or still be dense. But I mean… this is IZ… everybody is dense and unwilling to change. That’s just the nature of it. And why most fan content inverts this lol. It’s just people pick and choose when the denseness matters.

I think any person could easily read him as cold be it from personal projection, or read him as “well meaning” …also from personal projection lol. Which, i mean… both are fair I guess. I don’t really feel too strongly when people do either cuz there’s enough to lean on both...

Don’t get me wrong tho, I do not think he went through some “secret character development off-screen and is anxious about what his children feel about him :((“

No fam he just got workshopped. That’s all. And i could even diverge off to why I think- nay- know that Membrane fully believes he’s an amazing parent with no pretense or self-awareness whatsoever. And because he isn’t very emotional and has an inflated sense of self-- genuinely does not know why any of his kids would feel the way they do. Kinda in that same way why Dib genuinely doesn’t get why turning off Gaz’s video game and insisting she listen to him ramble about his shit would upset her ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But, nobody wants to hear that from me.

SO WHAT DO I THINK?? Both takes don’t matter and I’m sure he’s not supposed to be read like that in conjunction with the og and the revivals. I do not think he’s anything except a weird guy in an even weirder series though, and remembering that this is just that is probably what needs to be done more. Science first. Always first. One of the only other primarily reactive main characters there. He’s not that deep a guy… but that doesn’t mean there’s a lack of stuff to think about.

…there’s a reason as to why I’ve been studying him under the table for a while behind the scenes on my own time lol. Despite what I said, this dude is an interesting case study 🤔 Maybe one day we’ll see the results of that. Maybe. No promises.

Instead of dadcourse, we should just focus on how the fuck he drinks anything kjfdgdgdg

uh, the end (…?) sorry if u made it this far 😖

[tyrannosaurus-trainwreck]

The number of people who seem to think literal children exist to serve as big cartoon mallets with which to bludgeon people into being more responsible is genuinely amazing.

Like, y’all are really going to be out here bleating, “It’s a child not a choice!” and then turn around and act like whatever shit happens to those kids once they’re born to some irresponsible dickwad who didn’t want them is just fine?

You’re really going to look at someone you wouldn’t trust to watch your dog and come down on the side of handing over a newborn with the explicit understanding that the baby is a punishment for their personal failings? Really?

Everyone I knew who oopsed their way into needing an abortion would have been a goddamned nightmare as a parent.  Recognizing that they weren’t in any shape to be a parent and choosing abortion was probably the most responsible thing they’d done that year.

Life isn't some heartwarming lowbrow comedy where a perennial fuckup can just montage their way into adulthood once they're forced into the right predicament.  Children aren’t there to teach their parents valuable life-lessons about planning ahead, and they’re not there to serve as a consequence to their parents’ bad decisions.

They’re definitely not props in a fucking morality play that some stranger likes to imagine being played out by sexually-active people whose precautionary measures don’t meet their approval.

Their well-being matters.  Their quality of life matters.  Them being raised in a loving and welcoming environment matters.  Them being raised by people who were prepared to have them, who wanted them, who went into it willing to sacrifice for them, matters.

Why the everloving fuck does this need to be pointed out?

A quick note on adoption, since that’s a favorite hobbyhorse:

It’s currently pretty easy for white infants to get adopted into a good home.  But children are very expensive, especially as more and more holes get slashed in the social safety net.  As the “domestic supply of infants” increases due to forced-birth measures, we’re likely to hit a saturation point pretty quickly. 

After we do, we’re going to see that list of criteria for an easy and fast adoption get longer and longer and longer.  Since housing the children waiting for adoption is expensive, we’ll probably also see the criteria for “good home” get lower and lower.  We’ll probably see the institutions housing the children who still don’t make the adoptability cut treat them about how you’d expect children to be treated in a capitalist hellscape society that has very clearly demonstrated that no one in power wants them for anything.

We know this, because we’ve been here before during the Great Depression, and we’ve seen it happen elsewhere under similar circumstances.

Those kids? Those children who don’t make it over all the “healthy, white, blond, etc. etc. etc. etc. infant” hurdles, those children who adoptive parents can’t be persuaded with “they look just like you, no one will ever know they’re not your bio kid!”, those children whose social workers can’t hard-sell someone into taking them like a hard-luck shelter dog? 

Their well-being still matters.  They’re still not an abstract consequence, they’re still not a tool to make their parents repent of *checks notes* not using a condom every time, they’re still not a mechanism to teach someone else a lesson.

They’re still not expendable cannon-fodder in some jackhole’s little War on Someone Else’s Perceived Irresponsibility.

Again, why the everloving fuck does this need to be pointed out?

[sketching-shark]

LMK fandom: Oh, what do we do about this guy who has nothing but hurt Xiaotian, tried to replace Sun Wukong and his crew, hurt Tripitaka and ordered servants to cannibalize a monkey? Oh I know! We’ll turn him into our little meow meow~ he’s so innocent and Sun Wukong is obviously the villain!

What doesn’t help is this idea is perpetuated by multiple fan fic writers and artists for some reason. Especially some aus they make that turn SWK into a bastard for the sake of the story rather than considering cultural context and thinking they should be respectful.

And almost everyone lets them get away with it just because the art or fanfic is good and they get so popular that no one can point what is actually wrong without feeling like they’re going to get attacked.

I'm starting to feel like my blog is the one anons go to specifically to vent their frustrations about the Six Eared Macaque in his lego monkey show form & the associated fandom lmao. But I guess this makes sense, as I’ve had fun quasi-dragging him before & will in fact use this anon submission as an opportunity to have my own, to put it academically, bitch fest about not just this fandom's favorite protagonist-traumatizing meow meow, but about the way villains are often treated in not just fanon, but increasingly in canon works as well. But same policy as with the last anon; I'll post my opinions below the cut, and as fandoms love to say, don’t like don't read if you don't want to see me dunking on the six eared simian & common fandom tendencies towards villains.

Oh man I would say where would you even begin with this but anon you’ve pretty much started yourself with my main gripe with a lot of ways that the Six-Eared Macaque is portrayed in fandom; there seems to be this unspoken agreement that his acts of violence towards Sun Wukong, Qi Xioatian, and Qi Xioatian’s loved ones are either to be framed as somewhat or totally justified, to be immediately forgiven/excused, or to simply & completely be ignored. Like friends maybe this is just me not seeing the proper posts but while the fandom is inundated with art and fanfics of Macaque as a generally decent individual & a true member of team good guy, I have yet to see one person address the fact that this monkey literally kidnapped & mind-controlled Xiaotian’s best friend and father figures & forced them to brutalize Xiaotian while ol’ Six Ear looked on and laughed (X_X). Like this kind of fandom villain treatment is definitely not something that’s solely at work for Monkie Kid, but it is kind of nutty how fandoms will swing between yelling that people should be allowed to like villains without even mild critique, and then will just flat-out not address the villainous behavior, and will even bend over backwards to frame even characters who committed genocide as just poor innocent widdle victims who need a hug. At its worst, I’ve even seen tons of people in a fandom get really angry at other people who don’t like a villain, and will even start accusing those people of hating real-life mentally disabled or abused individuals all because they don’t like the fandom’s favorite literal war criminal. The Monkie Kid fandom is FAR more chill & better than a lot of other fandoms I’ve come across in that regard, but that is an exceedingly low bar, & the tendency to woobify certain kinds of villains-- as with Macaque and the extreme emphasis on his bad boy/sad boy thing--is very much at work.  

 I’ve also talked before about a kind of monoculturalization of certain character interpretations and story beats in fandoms, and one of the more popular ones that seems to be applied to Macaque a lot is the “hero actually bad, villain actually good” cliche, as observable from the general fandom assumption that Mr. Six-Ears he wasn’t even slightly lying or remembering things through a rose-tinted or skewed lens when he gave his version of his and Sun Wukong’s past. Like at this point it seems the possibility that people WILL NOT even consider is that Sun Wukong never did & still doesn't care that much about the Six Eared Macaque (in JTTW they weren’t sworn brothers & in Monkie Kid the only thing the monkey king really said to Macaque before attacking him was a pretty contemptuous "Aren't you ever going to get sick of living under my shadow?," & responds to his "beloved friend" getting blown up with "You did good, bud" to Qi Xiaotian, who did the exploding), or that their original fight may in fact have mostly been instigated by Macaque. After all, to repeat what this anon summarized & what I've said before about their original JTTW context (& in an example of the things that do feel like it's often lost in translation) is that the Six Ear Macaque was a villain not just because he beat up the Tang Monk, but because he wanted to take over Sun Wukong's entire life and identity so he could have all that glory, prestige, and power for himself. To quote the macaque himself from the Anthony C. Yu translation, "I struck the T'ang monk and I took the luggage...precisely because I want to go to the West all by myself to ask Buddha for the scriptures. When I deliver them to the Land of the East, it will be my success and no one else's. Those people of the South Jambudvipa Continent will honor me then as their patriarch and my fame will last for all posterity." And in order to do this, the Six Eared Macaque had apparently made Sun Wukong's "little ones," his monkey family, his captives through either trickery or force, and gotten a number of them to take on the appearance of Tang Sanzang and the other pilgrims. It's also made clear that in very direct contrast to Sun Wukong, he doesn't care about these monkeys beyond how they might serve him. In fact, after Sha Wujing kills the monkey posing as him the Six Eared Macaque not only all but immediately replaces him with another, but also "told his little ones to have the dead monkey skinned. Then his meat was taken to be fried and served as food along with coconut and grape wines." So this monkey is not only willing to risk the lives of a lot of other monkeys for his own personal benefit, but is also a literal cannibal. And yes yes, I know a lot of people have argued that Monkie Kid shouldn't be considered a direct sequel to JTTW & that's fair enough (for example, Sun Wukong probably shouldn't be smashing anyone into a meat patty in a children's cartoon lol). And of course, it needs to be noted that there are a buttload of really out there & really cursed pieces of media based on JTTW & that were created in China. Yet the above description is the oft-ignored in the west original facet of the Six Eared Macaque's character. And it is this selfishness, entitlement, and treatment of other individuals as tools for his own self-serving ends  that is, from where I’m standing, still very much present in Monkie Kid. Like besides repeatedly going out of his way to physically and psychologically traumatize Xioatian, with the last episode Macaque seemed to be going right back to his manipulative ways. I’ve seen people frame their last conversation as Macaque softening to Xioatian a little bit, but personally that read a lot more like that common tactic among abusers where even after they’ve hurt you they’ll dangle something you want or need over your head (in Macaque’s case, the promise of desperately needed training and information about a serious looming threat), with the implication that you’ll only get it if you do what they want you to, such as, in this case, Xioatian going back to Macaque as his student even after having been so terribly hurt by this monkey, which would give Macaque power over Xiaotian and probably Sun Wukong as a result. And it is this violence and manipulation that it seems the fandom at large has tacitly decided shouldn’t even be addressed, instead leaning more towards a (and this is an exaggeration) “Six-Eared Macaque my poor meow meow Sun Wukong has always been bad & has always been wrong about literally everything” reading. 

And while it is the case that I am not Chinese and feel that as such it would be best left to someone who actually comes from that background to provide more context into how common interpretations of the Six Eared Macaque from China may clash really badly with the stuff the western fandom creates, it also must be noted that, as much as we all want to have fun in fandom & in spite of all the out-there versions of JTTW from China, we westerners should recognize that there is a very long and very ugly history of western countries stripping other cultures’ important religious and literary works for parts & mashing them into their own thing while implying or even insisting that what they present provides a true understanding of the original piece. And while I trust most individuals in regards to Monkie Kid are able to step back and think “this is a lego cartoon and not a set guide for how I should understand JTTW” (especially given the insistence that JTTW and Monkie Kid should be considered there own separate works) there does nevertheless seem to be something of a tendency to take the conclusions people come to, for example, about Sun Wukong’s characteristic in his lego form & then assume that’s just reflective to Sun Wukong as a totality. I imagine a good portion of this is due to people not reading JTTW & especially to not having easy access to solid information or answers about JTTW’s many different facets (like geez awhile ago I was trying to get a clear answer on what is considered the most accurate translation of the names of Sun Wukong’s six sworn brothers & got like 5 different responses lmao), but that tendency to take a western fandom interpretation & run with it instead of doing any background research or questioning said interpretation is still very much at play. As such, & as made prominent in the way people have been interpreting the dynamic between Sun Wukong and the Six Eared Macaque in the lego monkey show, tbh it does seem kind of shitty for western creators & audience to sometimes go really out of their way to ignore all of this original cultural & narrative context for the sake of Angst (TM) in Macaque's favor, demonizing Sun Wukong, and shipping the monkey king with his evil twin (X_X).

And speaking of which, even beyond the potential inherent creepiness & revulsion that can be inspired by this specific ship given common interpretations of the og classic's original meaning (again, it's my understanding, given both summaries of translated Chinese academic texts I've been kindly provided with, my own reading of the Anthony C. Yu translation of JTTW, & vents from a number of Chinese people I've seen on this site, that the Six-Eared Macaque is commonly interpreted in China as having originated from Sun Wukong himself as a living embodiment of his worst traits, hence why only Buddha can tell the difference between them & why the monkey king is much more slow to violence after he kills the macaque), I'd argue that in the face of all the uwu poor widdle meow meow portrayals lego show Macaque is, especially if you include JTTW's events, still in the role of “Sun Wukong but worse” as he is very much a violent & selfish creep. Like he was basically running around in JTTW wearing a Sun Wukong fursuit, but there he had the sole reason of wanting to replace Sun Wukong wholesale so he could have all the good things in the monkey king's life without actually having to work as hard for them. But if you combine that with Macaque now claiming that he used to be best friend with Sun Wukong in his pre-journey days (something that's made funny from a JTTW context given that that status actually belongs to the Demon Bull King lol), his original violence has now blown into this centuries long and really unhealthy obsession with the monkey king. Like he's apparently gone from wanting to literally be Sun Wukong to being so obsessed with getting revenge on Sun Wukong that he's got basically nothing else going on in his life. Like he's only appeared in two episodes but...does he have any friends? Any family? A career or even a hobby that DOESN'T center the monkey king? Anything at all outside of his "get revenge on and/or kill Sun Wukong/use his successor as my personal punching bag” thing? Like dude! That is extremely creepy and extremely bad for everyone all around! As I’ve said before, this seeming refusal to see beyond the past or to do something that doesn’t involve Sun Wukong in some capacity is a trait that makes Macaque an interesting and somewhat tragic villain--he even seems to be working as Sun Wukong’s reflection in a mirror darkly, with lego show Sun Wukong pretty clearly not being able to heal from his own past which is hinted to be defined by one loss after another, and with Monkie Kid even kind of having these two characters somewhat follow their JTTW characterizations in that in the latter half of the journey Sun Wukong often gets sad & starts crying in the face of what seems insurmountable odds (& Monkie Kid Sun Wukong does seem to be hiding some serious depression behind a cheerful facade), whereas the Six-Eared Macaque retains a worse version of Sun Wukong’s pre-journey characteristic of getting pissed and lashing out if things don’t go his way--but it’s also what would make any current friendship or romantic relationship between these monkeys horrific. Although to be fair even the fandom seems to recognize this in an unconscious way, in that a lot of the art & fanfic seems to swing erratically between them kissing & screaming at each other in yet another example of bog-standard fandom adulation of romanticized toxic relationships lol.  

At the end of the day, of course, this is nothing new. You'll find versions of this dynamic across a ton of fandoms and now even canonical work. And as such, I can only look at this kind of popularized relationship dynamic with a kind of resigned weariness whenever it pops up, & my frustrated question with the popularity of this kind of pairing is the exact same one that I have for a multitude of blatantly toxic villain/hero ships, given common fandom discourse & the tendency to either ignore or justify the villain's actions & demonize the hero: if you're THAT convinced that everything is the hero's fault, if you believe THAT much that the hero is the one in the wrong for the villain's pain and their subsequent actions, then why are you so set on them not only becoming a romantic pair, but framing this get-together as a good thing? Like I know we contain multitudes but that's waaay too many contradictions for me to wrap my head around. And it definitely doesn’t help that one branch of underlying reasoning behind this kind of pairing seems to be the ever-present “you break it, you fix it” mentality, where the assumption is that if you’re in a failing, abusive, and/or generally toxic relationship (platonically or romantically), if you put in enough time and effort & attempts to compromise, you’ll be able to restore/have the relationship you dreamed of, even with someone who hurt you really badly. And this assumption isn’t limited to fandom: I’d even argue that it’s everywhere in the culture, hence why a lot of people feel like they “failed” if they have to get a divorce or make the choice to leave an unhealthy friendship. Personally, I feel like people could really benefit from more stories about how it is not only the case that the people you hurt don’t owe you their forgiveness & you can still become a better and happier person without the one you hurt in your life, & that while it can be really hard it can also be a good thing to leave a relationship, even if it’s one that once meant a lot to you. 

  But in all honestly, from my own perspective this kind of pairing is starting to read far less like enemies to lovers and far more like a horrible fantasy where you can pull whatever shit you want, even on the people you "love," & never be held accountable for your terrible behavior or even have to consider that maybe you were in the wrong. It's another facet that makes me larf every time I see people insist that fandom is an inherently "transformative" or "progressive" form of storytelling like friends you are literally just taking status quo toxic monogamy & rebranding it as somehow beneficial & romantic (X_X).

But as to anon’s last frustration, it is hard to know what is the appropriate response with this kind of thing...like for my own part I’m keeping my frustrations to my blog & now increasingly to posts that you would have to click on the “read more” button to see what I have to say, but I totally get the hesitation to give even a mild critique to big names in a fandom. Like I've now seen it happen repeatedly where someone who has a big name in a fandom will make something that's kind of shitty for one reason or another, someone will message them with some version of "hey, that's kind of shitty, you shouldn't do that," and the typical response is either to blatantly ignore the issue completely, or more popularly to make a giant crying circus that seems deliberately geared towards stoking emotions on both sides of the, for example, fiction does/doesn't affect reality issue so that something that didn't even have to be that big a deal gets blown out of all proportion, with the big name often framing what often started out as a very mild critique into a long crying jag about how the initial response to their kind of shitty thing was so mean/cruel and they're just a poor innocent & that YOU'RE the true racist/sexist/bigot etc. if you don't agree with their opinion. It must of course be noted that there have also been numerous instances of people taking it too far the other way & sending not just big names but smaller creators literal deaths threats over stuff like innocuous ships which like holy hell bells people that’s a horrible thing to do. But for the big names at least, the end result of all this fighting is usually that once the dust has settled they have more attention/fame/money/power in the fandom than before, and with anyone who might have a problem with their stuff feeling afraid to voice their opinion lest they be swarmed by that person's fans. In that way fandom does often seem to increasingly be geared towards presenting an “official” fandom perspective about various facets of a piece of media instead of allowing for a multitude of interpretations, and with criticism, no matter its shape or form or how genuinely warranted it may be, being hounded out of existence. I feel like a lot of this could be made less bad if there wasn’t this constant assumption & even drive to think that a different interpretation of or criticism of your favorite work of fiction or your fanwork isn’t a direct claim that you are a thoroughly loathsome individual (& maybe also if people cultivated an enjoyment of learning things about important works from a culture outside their own, even if what you learn clashes with your own initial understandings), but I guess we’ll see if that ever happens. 

So these are my general thinks about the Six Eared Macaque’s current fandom meow meow status & some of my bigger gripes with fandom tendencies as a whole. I stand by my idea that the most interesting & beneficial route for Macaque moving forward would be a kind of “redemption without forgiveness from the ones you hurt” arc--as I think was done pretty excellently with the character Grace in Infinity Train--and if for no other reason than gosh dern this monkey really needs to cultivate some sort of identity beyond his “Sun Wukong but worse” persona. 

[lady-of-lyon]

So, I made one post a while back about how awesomely feminist the show Wild Kratts was, with how its two main female characters were women of color in engineering and deserving roles of power, female villains who weren’t motivated by spite or quest for youth, etc, but today I wanted to talk about something slightly different, that I’ve wanted to cover for a while now, because I also think it’s very good - and that’s how the show portrays masculinity, in a way that’s really positive!

First, we have our two main characters, Chris and Martin Kratt. Keep in mind these two are basically self-inserts - and there are plenty of creators, especially males, who have used self-insert characters in really scummy ways - all I have to say is Powerpuff Girls reboot and you know exactly what I’m talking about. Even if they weren’t literal self-inserts, male characters, superheroes especially, oftentimes serve the male power fantasy, being just the strong, stoic, all-powerful person so many boys are told they’re supposed to be. I could get into a whole discussion about how the male power fantasy is present even when males are not (ever look through a fashion magazine and wonder why there are so few men? Sure, part of it is that the industry thrives off exploiting women’s insecurities, and men aren’t as concerned for their appearance, but another part of it is so that the guy, looking through it, can feel like he has no competition for these women - there’s a reason so many comedians have jokes about fashion magazines being their sexual awakening as kids. It’s really scummy) but that’s not what this is about. So, the bros had every opportunity to do just that - make themselves these traditional heroes who aren’t actually really good role models, like batman or what have you. It’s certainly not uncommon for celebrity cartoons to do stuff like that. But Martin and Chris chose a different approach. They’re pretty strong standouts for positive masculinity. They’re openly affectionate - both with eachother as brothers, and with their friends. They cry, sometimes over little things - most of the time when big superheroes cry, it’s ‘cause they lost the girl they loved or their mentor or something like that, only in the big, most agonizing moments do they shed a tear. But here, Chris or Martin will cry just because they’ve had a bad day, or because they’re overwhelmed and overjoyed that someone named a mantis after them! In a lot of shows or movies when a guy cries over something little, it’s usually played for laughs, or to emasculate him, but here it’s casual without being unreasonable or overdone. The brothers cry just ad much, maybe even more (haven’t gone back and counted or anything) as the girls do. Not to mention, it’s a very nice depiction of a loving, healthy sibling relationship. As the youngest sibling myself, it’s refreshing to see a pair who don’t abuse eachother with noogies or cruel and snarky remarks. When they do fight, it’s never a screaming match, and also because they had a conflict of interest or disagreed over a fact, not because, say, one of them stole the other’s shirt or is neglecting the other’s feelings. Kids, being very impressionable, get exposed to a lot of abusive sibling relationships played as normal in media, and start thinking this is how siblings are and should act. For instance, my sister (who is now my best friend and has gotten over all these bad habits over time) when she was younger watched a lot of Kim Possible, a show that is great, but has a bad family dynamic with Kim and her little siblings. The “tweebs” as she calls them are always irresponsible, destructive, and making Kim annoyed to no end. My older brother was one of the most polite, reserved, kind little kids, but she still treated him like he was a brat and a nuisance, because that’s what shows like Kim Possible taught her little brothers were. Additionally, I was always treated like a spoiled crybaby who just wanted attention and got away with everything - I was not any of those things, ever, but that’s what shows teach you little sisters are. Sure, Wild Kratts has a smidge of that, with Chris seemingly being the stereotype of the know-it-all little sibling, but instead of being constantly looked town upon for being too “perfect” like with Hailey Long in American Dragon, Martin often praises his brother for his abilities. Sure, Martin gets annoyed when Chris tries to correct him on things, like in the episode Wolf Hawks, but everyone else does too, so it feels more like a take-down of mansplaining than a sibling spat.

I talked too in the feminist post about how refreshing it is that Chris and Martin more or less willingly put themselves under the authority of Koki and Aviva, two women of color. I don’t think it’s possible to say any one character is the “leader,” they all work as a evenly balanced team, but it’s safe to say that Koki and Aviva make the more responsible decisions. The bros try to get out of their calls a few times, but the show plays it more like they’re being irresponsible, and less like they’re renegade cool dudes who don’t take nothing from nobody, especially not two girls. They are pretty much always punished via karma for their reckless choices, most especially in To Touch a Hummingbird, where their arrogant attitudes blow up in their faces rather spectacularly. We also never see the narrative most present in sitcoms, where the male leads mess up and go out of their way to cover it up and ultimately gets away with it - after all, you have to root for them, right, because sure they messed up and had no consequences, but aren’t they just so lovable? No, here Martin and Chris always have to fix their wrongdoing, and it’s always deserved when they get comeuppance. Another aspect of the show I like is that, many times, when the bros get captured or are in peril, they are saved by the women - and most refreshing of all, there’s never a moment of “wink wink nudge nudge wow I can’t believe I had to be rescued by a GIRL” or even “wow you saved me you’re pretty good honey guess I shouldn’t have underestimated you, you go girl!” No, when the girls save them, it’s just - you know, relief? Because they were saved? It’s never a scenario played as an exception, or any more dire than when the bros need to rescue eachother. The bros are genuinely happy to have them as teammates. The show even did the standard “boys vs girls” episode in the form of When Fish Fly - but instead of being actually girls vs. boys, it’s engineers vs. adventurers. There’s nothing really gendered about it - the girls happen to be engineers, and the boys happen to be adventurers. And the episode doesn’t end with the boys being “wow gosh darn I shouldn’t have doubted you girls are better at everything,” it’s a mutual agreement that both parties have hard jobs. Basically, the bros are very naturally respectful of women. That plays more into their feminist narrative too, but either way, it’s refreshing.

Then, we have Jimmy! Jimmy, the lovable gamerboy pizza man. At first glance Jimmy seems like the stereotypical cowardly, pathetic, emasculated loser. He’s frightened of most things, as of yet has no power suit, and he BAKES for crying out loud! But none of these things are framed as terribly bad traits. Sure, we laugh when he screams and runs from an animal, but though it happens over and over, the crew doesn’t get sick of it. They don’t berate him or belittle him because he’s so gosh darn cowardly. There’s a great scene in Rattlesnake Crystal where Jimmy has to deliver something to the bros alone, in the middle of a spooky desert. He is terrified the whole time, sprinting off after he delivers the goods. When Martin and Chris run into him, they don’t laugh at him for being spooked, they just greet and then bid fair well to their friend. To them, this is just Jimmy, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Jimmy isn’t coddled, but he is reassured many times that he’s a valuable member of the team. I love that little message, that you’re just as important of a person even if you can’t do as much or have greater limits. When his friends do try to get him over his fears, it’s not because they have to, that the day will somehow be ruined by Jimmy’s incompetence p, but because they’re his friends, and want him to experience fun and wonderful things that he would otherwise miss out on. But what Jimmy CAN do is just as important! Jimmy is a gamer, which in a lot of shows, is portrayed as a lazy, useless, mindless hobby. But here, because he plays video games, it makes him essential for piloting the ship and teleporting important items. There’s always the joke that video games improves your hand/eye coordination, but recent studies have shown it has much better effects. It can make you much better at keeping track of multiple moving objects and processing technical but variable information- two traits which, fittingly enough, are really really important for air traffic controllers and airplane pilots! He also demonstrates a lot more courage behind the wheel of the Tortuga, which makes sense - in an impersonal setting, he would have more sense of calm and control and courage, because it’s so similar to a video game world. It’s not all too different with how I feel more emboldened to pick fights with people on the internet, but get crazy anxious if a real person so much as looks at me. So Jimmy’s love of video games isn’t because he’s irresponsible, it has real benefits. A quick last point - Jimmy also eats a lot, but they thankfully don’t make him fat or greedy or anything like that. He never takes food from people, he actually bakes, and shares it with others! Having the baker be a boy is a lovely touch.

I might do another post about the toxic masculinity of the two villains, (or four villains, I guess, if I wanna discuss the minions) but I’ve got other work to do, and this post is long enough already, so I’ll get around to it later. I’ll sum it up with this - Wild Kratts is a show that teaches boys it’s not only ok to be kind, but essential. The brothers protect defenseless animals, advocate for things “icky” and “weird,” like bugs or snakes or worms - not because they’re boys, and boys like icky things, but because they genuinely see the beauty in all life, and are encouraging us to slow down and do the same. The Wild Kratts are heroes who save the world not by being the strongest or smartest or coolest, but by looking after those who are exploited and vulnerable, who are essential to the world, even if they can’t always do everything. In Wild Kratts the only weaknesses a man can have isn’t what he can’t do, but what he does do that he shouldn’t have. Sure, it’s a cute show about two funny guys who have cool powers, but it’s also a show about accountability, compassion, respect and trust. The show says “boys will be boys” in all the right ways - Martin is a lovable goof with a heart of gold, but he still has to get his act together when he messes up, and he’s still creative and smart and openly sensitive. Chris is a bit of a know-it-all show-off, but he can also mess up as much as his brother, and is still bold, brave, adventurous, and can put his money where his mouth is. Jimmy is a cowardly, napping, eating machine video-gamer, but he’s still a valued member of the team, has incredible skills and talents, and will always help his friends, even if he is really, really scared. It is so important to have role models like these, in a world dominated by unhealthy machismo. The Wild Kratts are heroes who save the world - both animated, and real.

All they need now is a canon queer character, and I’ll stan them forever! My money’s on Aviva!!

[pepperfield]

Hayasaka, Relationship Expert Extraordinaire

Happy holidays, @spacepandar!! I had a great time writing your gift for the Oresama Exchange, I hope you like it!!

Rating: G Relationships: Hayasaka & Mafuyu, Mafuyu/Okegawa Characters: Hayasaka, Kurosaki Mafuyu, Okegawa Kyoutarou

Hayasaka isn’t qualified to comment on the way people conduct their romantic entanglements, but the day Kurosaki starts dating Okegawa, he gets the sinking suspicion that he’s about to become someone’s personal relationship coach.

Is that too pessimistic? After all, Kurosaki is pretty good at a lot of things that aren’t studying, and maybe dating is one of them. Besides the possible trouble that this development might cause him, Hayasaka is happy for her. Kurosaki likes to go on and on about her thrilling, adorable high school life, so having a boyfriend should be exciting for her. Too bad Hayasaka is probably going to be dragged into this excitement too, whether he wants it or not.

As expected, a few days into this new relationship, Kurosaki corners him in their club room, her arms raised as if primed to attack him for whatever nefarious reason.

“Hayasaka-kun,” Kurosaki barks, a deranged light in her eyes. “We need to go shopping!”

“Uh, for what?” he asks, raising his broom to fend her off if she tries to tackle him into a hug. Dammit, if only Yui were here to help even the odds!

“For my ~one~ ~week~ ~anniversary~,” she trills, spinning in three wide twirls that traverse the whole span of the room. Sometimes Hayasaka is amazed by the way she moves, and then she’ll do something like fall flat on her face while begging Ayabe for lunch. 

That seems like a pretty fast milestone to celebrate, but what does Hayasaka know? “Okay, we’ll go after this. Help me wipe the table.”

She salutes him and gets to work vigorously scrubbing the table, moving at a speed that’s quick enough to strip a layer of wood away.

--

The problem with shopping with Kurosaki is that neither of them is a particularly skilled gift giver.

“What does Okegawa like?” Hayasaka asks as they peruse the shelves of the bookstore they’re in. Kurosaki is holding A History of Knives in one hand and Sew Your Own Plushies: 15 Kawaii Patterns for A Modern Princess in the other.

“...not books,” Kurosaki says blankly.

“Oh, right.”

They head over to a jewelry store next, and stare at the sparkling pendants and adorable earrings, completely overwhelmed by the options.

“Does Okegawa wear gold chains? You could get him one of those.” Hayasaka points to the display with gold chains of varying weights.

“I don’t think Banchou likes having things around his neck,” Kurosaki says as she examines a huge golden dragon brooch. “He always loosens his collar.”

“Hm. Maybe jewelry isn’t the right fit. What about something useful? Like hair gel,” Hayasaka suggests as they exit. 

“That’s too boring! This is my anniversary we’re talking about, Hayasaka-kun!” She reaches her hands up, clutching at his shoulders to shake him.

Hayasaka’s head bounces back and forth like a balloon on a string. “Okay, okay, I get it.” 

They wander in and out of three more stores before getting bored and going to the arcade to refresh their energy. Twenty rhythm game battles later, Kurosaki’s eyes suddenly light up.

“That’s it! The limited edition Space Nekomata-san!” 

She points at the claw crane filled with those weird little cat guys from that one kid’s cartoon.

“You want one of those?”

“No! But Banchou would!”

Hayasaka watches dubiously as she shoves a couple hundred yen into the machine and begins moving the claw over to a Nekomata wearing a spacesuit. He expects the cat to flop right out of the claw’s grip, but somehow Kurosaki’s wiggling the joystick in such a way that it keeps the doll trapped as it travels toward the chute. Hayasaka holds his breath, but Nekomata-san makes it safely home.

“Perfect,” Kurosaki crows as she tucks the cat under her arm.

“Wait, how did you do that?”

“Oh, I’m just good at these kinds of games.”

“Teach me,” Hayasaka says, even though he doesn’t actually want a space cat.

“Hohoho, certainly, young man. Money please.” She holds her hand out until Hayasaka dumps some change into her palm. “First, we need to scope out the weakest member of the crew. See that loner in the corner? We’ll target him.”

Strategic. “Got it.” 

Hayasaka watches as Kurosaki adds another Nekomata to her collection and then takes the helm. On his first attempt, he fails miserably, so of course he has to try again. And then again. By his fifth try, he’s no closer to winning, so Kurosaki illustrates again, and there’s now a third Nekomata sitting next to its brothers.

“One more try,” Hayasaka swears as he shoves another coin in the machine.

“You can do it!” Kurosaki cheers, but Hayasaka suspects she doesn’t believe it.

Twenty-five minutes and another four Nekomatas for Kurosaki later, Hayasaka finally succeeds in catching his own. What used to be a strange and unappealing mustached creature has suddenly become beloved in his eyes. He smiles down at the Space Nekomata in his hands.

“Hurray, Hayasaka-kun, you did it!!” Kurosaki wipes a single tear away from the corner of her eye, and Hayasaka doesn’t even have the heart to be offended.

“What are you two crying about,” a voice asks from behind them, and they whirl around to see Okegawa himself staring down at them.

“Banchou!” Kurosaki says, her face bright.

“M-Morse,” he replies gruffly, quickly hiding the bag in his hands behind his back. Hayasaka has to wonder at what point in a relationship people start calling each other by their actual names, but he decides it’s better not to ask. They’ll wind up married with kids who think their parents are named Banchou and Morse.

“Happy one week anniversary! I got you a gift!” Kurosaki thrusts her armful of Nekomatas at Okegawa, who takes a step back in slight alarm as he receives them. But his eyes begin shining shortly afterwards. Apparently Kurosaki knows her boyfriend better than Hayasaka thought.

“Space Nekomata-san? But why seven of them?”

“One for every day we’ve been dating!” 

“Oh. Thanks, Morse.” Somehow he manages to reach over and pat her on the head even with his hands full of stuffed cats. “I…I got you something too.”

Hayasaka does him the favor of handing the bag over to Kurosaki, who pulls out what looks to be some kind of elaborate castle shaped headpiece. She gasps and immediately pops it on top of her head; how it stays there with no strap or clips, Hayasaka doesn’t know, but balancing things on her head has always been one of her skills. 

“Look, Hayasaka-kun!” Kurosaki glitters at him like she’s waiting for a compliment.

“Uh, you look…like a princess?” he tries, and she scoffs.

“No, no, no, I look like the place where princesses live! The foundation that supports them! The ground they step on!”

“It fits you, Morse.”

“Thank you, Banchou!”

They smile at each other, on some alien wavelength that Hayasaka doesn’t understand, but it suits them well.

“Anyway, since it’s your big anniversary, you two should go on a date or something.” They both turn a brilliant red and jump away from each other, each muttering something that he can’t make out.

He squints at them for a moment as they avoid eye contact. “Why are you being so weird?”

“You can’t just- Morse and I can’t just suddenly…scuttle off on a date! That’s indecent!”

Huh?? “Don’t you two hang out together all the time? Isn’t a date the same thing?”

“No, a date is- you know,” Kurosaki says, waving her hand around in embarrassment. “Peak romance! Bubbles and flowers! Everything is pink!”

“Exactly!”

Hayasaka has no earthly idea what they’re talking about but he’s also never been on a date either, so they’re three idiots flying blindfolded without a license out here. “Then what have you two been- never mind. Look, just go out for cake and a movie. That’s a normal anniversary activity.” 

“Oh. Are you sure?” Okegawa asks suspiciously.

No. “Yes.”

“I do like cake,” Kurosaki says. “Well, if I can’t trust my best friend, who can I trust?” Hayasaka can practically hear the bolded font. “C’mon, Banchou, we can get a slice of strawberry cake to share!” Okegawa is still a bit red, but he peers down at Kurosaki over the wall of Nekomatas in his arms and nods.

“Alright.”

Good. Hayasaka gives them a half-wave, half-shoo. “Have fun. Call me if anyone starts any trouble.”

“Okay! Thanks for your help today, Hayasaka-kun!” She flashes Hayasaka a double thumbs up and then scampers off with Okegawa toward the cafe.

Hayasaka watches them leave with his own Space Nekomata-san in hand, feeling some mixture of relief and accomplishment. With one date down, hopefully they can figure out the next one on their own. He doesn’t need the additional stress of chaperoning dates on top of his Public Morals Club duties — but if they ask him to, he supposes he’ll have no choice but to help.

[ceilingfan5]

Wedding/ sick for weird au mixes

Kravitz thinks of himself as a relatively sensible guy. Somehow, despite this, he always seems to end up in bizarre situations, and this time, he might have really taken the cake.

Not literally. Wedding cakes are so fucking expensive. Did you know this? So expensive. Even breathing is expensive when it comes to weddings. Kravitz is never getting married. If he ever feels the urge, he’s going to take a cold shower and then calculate, by hand, how many burritos he can get for the cost of a wedding while he’s still dripping wet and naked. This is a foolproof plan.

Kravitz likes plans. He likes knowing what’s going on at any given time and what the appropriate reaction is to any given situation and he likes knowing the right way to handle things, which, he’s been criticized in the past, by several different boyfriends, is like trying to get a good grade on every social interaction at all times, like he’s going to be given a report card at the end of a fucking conversation. This is normal to want and possible to achieve. Kravitz is doing great. And all of those guys saved him a lot of money on not having a wedding, so, really, he should thank them for fundamentally misunderstanding him on a level bordering on cruel.

He’s sensible. He likes plans. He wants to know the right answers. And yet? And fucking yet?? He finds himself doing shit like this, holding back the long hair of a complete stranger in the bathroom the night after the bachelorette parties. They aren’t even from the same side of the wedding party--Kravitz is firmly in Sloane’s camp, the best man, in fact, and he’s never met Taako before this week.

“So, you’re Hurley’s friend, right?” He tries to keep his voice soothing, and he pats Taako’s back a little. He doesn’t want to overstep, but he also doesn’t want Taako to be as miserable as humanly possible, which he’s certainly trying to achieve with a fervent vigor most people retain for gambling, or extreme sports. He wishes he had a little pocket guide book for weird situations like this. Turn to page 34 to comfort a stranger. Turn to page 62 for dealing with someone who is attempting to vomit everything they’ve eaten since age five.

“Yeah,” Taako moans. He leans his head, presumably pounding like a DJ scoring a hammer festival, gently against the toilet paper dispenser. “Sorry to drag you into this. You can- mmnnh. You can go. If I die, I die.”

“I think Hurley would be upset if you died,” Kravitz says gently. “You’re under contract until you wear that suit tomorrow. Maybe after that you can schedule a date with Death.”

“Hope it’s not a dinner date.” Taako snickers at his own joke, and then hiccups and covers his mouth. “Fuck!”

“Listen, not that it’s any of my business,” imagine him rapidly flipping pages in his guidebook, looking for the appropriate conversation cue. Interventions in 60 seconds. No? Maybe 25 conversation starters that aren’t about toilets? “But when we ran into each other at the casino last night, you seemed a little...” Flirtatious. Angry. Incredibly wasted. “Distracted. Is something on your mind? Besides the wedding, I guess?”

“Damn, you-” Taako hiccups again, and shifts his legs, groaning. “You weren’t kidding, that isn’t any of your business.”

Ah! Fuck! He’s losing points! What a terrible misstep! How will his grade ever recover!

“I’m so sorry-” he backpedals. “I just-”

“No, I get it.” Taako sighs. “Shit. Um. You know, I’m too hungover to lie to you? Um.” He fidgets with the toilet paper like a cat finding its own enrichment. It’s almost endearing. “Um. Okay. Yeah. I was in a mood. I would still be, if my fuckin’ head didn’t feel like it’s losing a getting-crushed-by-a-steamroller race. I’ll have more feelings later, I guess. Jot that down on your calendar.”

“Noted.”

“I, um.” Taako closes his eyes, shoulders lurching a little again, but Kravitz gently pulls his long, silky hair back from his face, and it doesn’t go further than that this time. “I was supposed to get married this year. And, uh.” He waves the fingers on his left hand, all of them incredibly empty. “Sorta fucked that one up.”

“Oh,” Kravitz says, intelligently. He imagines frantically flipping through his guidebook. Even in his head, there’s no suggestions for this. It’s a picture of a cartoon frog giving a thumbs up. Frogs don’t even really have thumbs. “I’m so sorry to hear that. I can see why that would be hard to deal with.”

“Yeah,” Taako chuckles. “It sucks. I mean, he sucks, and both of us are stupid, and the whole thing is a mess, and I’m glad it didn’t go forward, but it’s.” He covers his mouth, looking green, but his shoulders slowly relax. “S’bad. Badtime. Badtime for Taako.”

“I see that.” Kravitz decides to carefully rub Taako’s back. If that’s overstepping, he’ll take the F. Taako can tell him to fuck off, and he will, and that’ll be that. But between last night and today, he likes Taako, and he feels bad for him, going through something awful like that. It’s got to be real hard, having to be a big part of a beautiful wedding, mourning one that’ll never be, even if it’s better for everyone involved. “Well, I’m sure you’ll find someone else who makes you happy, if that’s what you’re looking for. You’re very attractive and funny and- and-” Kravitz’s cheeks heat up. That might have been a bit much for sure. He especially didn’t need to keep talking, because the next thing on his mind was how perfect all of Taako’s freckles are, and that’s, that’s a lot. Wrong thing to say in the wrong situation. This is such a mess.

But Taako laughs.

“Yeah?” he says. “Sounds like you like me.”

“Oh, I- um. I.” Kravitz backpedals, pulling his hand away from Taako. His long, beautiful hair falls around his face again, and even as miserable as he is, he looks like some kind of angel.

Can angels puke? Rats can’t. There might not be a correlation there. Then again, what if there was?

“I’m- I wasn’t- You’re- that would be-” he can’t quite figure out how to defend himself.

“Admit it,” Taako sing-songs, his voice still hoarse.

“I could be convinced to like you,” Kravitz mumbles. “I happen, to, uh. Happen to have an opening. In my life. For likeable people.”

Taako laughs again, tipping his head back and smacking it on the toilet paper dispenser. He whines and rubs it, looking positively wretched.

“You’re wild, Krav,” he says anyway. “Soon as I can brush my teeth, I’m gonna find out if those pretty lips are as kissable as they look.”

Kravitz doesn’t have a page in his book for this, but something in the very, very back of his mind thinks that there are more things in life to do with your money than buy burritos. If not a wedding, at the very least, a date is a good start.

[rayofsunas]

 haikyuu!! as dads (pt.1)

A/n: hello! starting off with a clean slate here yay! if some of the first few seem so short and the writing seems different, it’s because I wrote half of this like three days ago- anywways, requests are open btw!!

Summary: haikyuu characters as dads/domestic living. 

Pairings: Semi Eita, Bokuto Koutarou, Kuroo Tetsurou, Oikawa Toru, Kenma Kozume 

Warnings: some timeskip spoilers, fluff, parenting, angst (kinda) swearing (maybe), crack, all characters are aged up

Word count: 1.8k 

Part Two!

Semi Eita

- the serious sometimes scary looking dad, but other than that he’s a fluff ball

- he may look scary but he simply cannot punish them for anything 

- especially after they bonded over music, legit cannot do nothing wrong

- on the days he’s not working or with his bandmates, you can often find him with his twin daughters, teaching them how to use different musical instruments 

- okay, so your daughters are still pretty young, so they aren’t very good at using most instruments, but for Christmas you and Semi got them both a small set of drums, something easy

- it was very cute to come home from work to see your husband and daughters loudly practicing on the drums

- sure at first it gave you a blasting headache, but after a while you got used to it, and even jammed out with them when you had the time

- mainly just random sounds/beats coming from the two five year olds, but Semi doesn’t mind, he’s willing to teach them and he does proudly 

- if one of his daughters or both wants too

- definitely writes songs for his daughters and you

- i can see him writing lullaby’s for them and working on them for hours making sure they were perfect

- lets just say they were perfectly beautiful 

- because you went to high school together, the nickname “semi semi” stuck with you (thanks chicken tendo)

- but your girls will also cutely call him “semi semi”

- you often bring them to concerts despite semi saying it’s probably too loud for them

- he’ll let you sit safely with them back stage uwu

- after he runs back to you three and is bombarded with hugs, high-fives and kithes

- YOU’RE ALL SO PROUD OF HIM

Bokuto Koutarou

- bokuto is a hyper dad, which we all saw coming. there is no taking the child out of bo

- i feel like he’d want tons of kids, probably even uses his children as an excuse to act the way he does

- i can see him with a few kids, 3 to be exact (2 boys and 1 girl)

- he likes to be really involved with his children, and gets very sad/emo when he doesn’t see them for short/long periods of time

- for example, the Black Jackals is a whole different game field than high school volleyball and it’s much more time consuming and has him away a lot 

- when he does come home and has time off, let’s just say he clings to his children like a puppy

- even after a while THEY get sick of him and wanna ditch him, cue emo bo :(

- if his children gang up on him (which they do) cue emo Bo again :(

- he babies them all, can’t ever say no

- tends to go back on his word lmao

- if your oldest son begs and begs for season tickets to his favorite sports team? Bo KNOWS they can be expensive, and he was even scolded by you, but two hours after saying no, he runs back to his son and gives him the money 

- if your daughter wants to get her nails done with a group of friends, he knows she picks out the most expensive polishes, etc, BUT HE DOES NOT CARE, he will gladly give her the money and even go with her to get his nails done 

- yes, you heard me

- of course he’ll being chaperone for this girls day, he promises to pretend that he doesn’t know them and keep his distance (sit very far away lol), but after a little while its just hard to contain and he’s screaming to everyone in the salon that his daughter is sitting on the other side of the room eye- 

- your youngest son wants an expensive sports car? done

- he just wants to make his family happy, pleaseee

 Kuroo Tetsurou 

- poor Kuroo, he has 2 daughters and you, so he’s surrounded by girls lol 

- he actually doesn’t mind it tbh

- between you and his two daughters, he wouldn’t have it any other way

- just gives him an excuse to be overly protective

- anywhere in public, expect either kuroo holding your hand

- or holding his daughters close to him (piggy back rides, yes)

- or, he stands protectively behind you and your daughters while you talk to someone, sending them threatening glares behind your backs 

- he was shy as a child, so it wasn’t surprising when one of his daughters, the youngest, was very very shy

- he doesn’t mind once again, just gives him an excuse to be protective 

- although he’s busy, he always makes time for his girls ALWAYS

- definitely a bragger

- if his family is brought into a convo, he pridefully will express how cute and smart his daughters are, may or may not openly declare his daughters are the cutest amongst his co-workers children

- he’s mad intuitive and aware/observant

- kuroo always knows when one or both of his daughters are about to start crying/throw a fit

- cue dad kuroo prepared to crack funny chemistry and or science jokes

- his shy daughter finds him very funny, doubles over every time he cracks a joke and calls him a “silly rooster”

- even when she's older she still laughs and even copies his jokes

- but his other daughter just cringes, every time sigh

- when she was younger she used to fake the laughs, but when he started saying the jokes in public she just stopped reacting, hoping he would stop-

- he didn’t...

- i like to imagine kuroo and kenma staying friends even after high school, and since kenma has hella video games and a whole arcade in his house, he’ll often bring his daughters over to his house

- his eldest daughter loves it at uncle kenma’s house

- cue jealous rooster dad

Oikawa Toru 

- okay so oikawa is ALWAYS busy

- isn’t home much, except during off seasons or if he messes up his knee again (yes, it’ll happen) 

- in the event that he’s home due to a knee injury, he’ll wanna be catered too lmaooo

- he doesn’t expect his little girl to cater to him and really only teases you about it

- but his daughter will get him whatever he needs while he’s propped up on the couch

- she admires him so much

- his daughter kinda has a smart mouth-

- definitely got that from him, having picked up on it from a young age, while he was home

- when he was home once propped up with a messed up knee, she went “here dadkawa” as she handed him an ice pack

- he laughs at the nickname, asking you about where it came from later

“she was on call with hajime’s daughter yesterday... hajime asked how ‘poopykawa’ was doing”

- he just rolls his eyes, “at least he cleaned it up for her sake” you explained 

- will not lose the “kawa” part, so it’s dadkawa lol

- when he’s away, she’s always asking for dadkawa

- when he’s here they're inseparable

- morning breakfast now will be her sitting in his lap instead of yours

- she asks to watch cartoons with him instead of you :(

- bath time consists of her arguing with you as you try to wash her hair, while oikawa sits on the closed toilet seat laughing to himself

- “mommy i want dadkawa to wash my hair!”

- “you always whine that he gets soap in your eyes”

- “I don’t care!”

- when you bring your daughter to games, she’ll be cheering him on proudly, “mommy, look at dadkawa!” “GO DADKAWA!!!!”

- since he plays for the professional Argentine team, i figure you all live in Argentina now, traveling from Argentina and Japan was tiring, so you moved to be closer

- when the news approaches him after or before games, he makes sure to show his daughter off and the whole time it’s his daughter stealing the show

- she might be shy at first, but as long as dadkawa is holding her, she’s fine

- he’ll teach her Spanish, defiantly sings happy birthday to her in Spanish because it’s special

- he calls her his princesa (princess in spanish)

Kenma Kozume 

- if his child didn’t enjoy video games like him or any of his hobbies like volleyball, I feel like Kenma would have a hard time with them

- he loves his son yes, but he’d have a hard time interacting with him, especially if he’s not into video games or volleyball

- if he is though, you can often find the two in kenma’s home office, playing games

- when your son was a infant, you would always come home from being out/work to find your son sitting in his pj’s on kenma’s lap watching his dad play video games 

- “it’s late, ken. i see he’s already in his pj’s- did you already have dinner?” “yes”

- “without me?” you asked, lifting up your son to give his cheeks kisses. “there’s apple pie in the fridge.”

- eye-

- yes he fed your son that, yes he needs a little guidance, yes he needs to be told apple pie is NOT dinner

- on another occasion of coming home, you found your boys in the same spot, once again playing video games, your sons eyes drifting between the game and his father every time he muttered under his breath 

- “the screen is bad for your eyes kenma, and he’s just a baby! he’ll get bad eyes too!”

- kenma’s short answer is, “he won’t” 

- when your son got older, and he started getting into video games, it got harder for you to tear his eyes away from the screen

- he’s been around video games his whole life, so of course it’d be hard, you just didn’t think he’d grow attached 

- kenma leaves most of the strict parenting to you, because he LEGIT doesn’t NOT know what to say

- he’s lowkey afraid he’ll push his son away if he says the wrong thing, but he’s also worried that if he doesn't say anything, they’ll have no real relationship, so he struggles 

- he tries his hardest to bond with him over video games and volleyball though

- as said by your son, kenma’s cooking can’t compare to yours, BUT he does know how to make a yummy apple pie

- his son will help kenma with said apple pie, when he’s younger he was often the taste tester and made a mess every time

- kenma gets nervous in huge crowds and really around anyone he doesn’t know, so if his son is a social butterfly he’ll try to get kenma used to people other than himself and you

- somehow, during the rare moments his son has problems (friends, school etc), kenma will be the one to speak up privately

- he’ll definitely tell his son to surround himself with a good friend/good friends, he also makes sure to let him know the importance of quality over quantity 

- he has a brotherly relationship with kuroo, and if not for kuroo he’d be alone, he wants the same thing for his son

10.20.20, rayofsunas 

[oodlyenough]

psychonauts 2 review!

I played the first few-ish (not many... I'd guesstimate under 4) hours of the original Psychonauts years ago, but found it unruly to control and never progressed further. I remember thinking the concept was neat, though, and when I heard a sequel was coming I figured I'd check it out, since it'd presumably be more polished.

The sequel is very very good. I think it is the best game I've played this year. It's also maybe the most creative game I've played... ever.

When Rift Apart came out, a lot of reviews said it was "like a playable Pixar game". Having played (and enjoyed!) Rift Apart as well, I gotta say while that may be true in image fidelity, in basically every other respect I think Psychonauts 2 comes closer. I would absolutely recommend it to anyone who's ever enjoyed this kind of platformer.

More detail and possible spoilers:

I'll start with the cons, because there aren't very many:

I posted early on that I found jumping kind of unwieldy/frustrating, which is bad for a platformer. Although I got better at it as I got used to the controls, I still did run into scenarios where I was creating a thought bubble while trying to wall jump, or rolling off the edge of a platform I'd just landed on, or otherwise just finding jumping clumsy. I turned off fall damage pretty early for this reason; it was infuriating to just keep dying because I couldn't make a clumsy jump, and then respawn with increasingly limited health.

(Also, fwiw, because I know gamers were losing their damn minds about this when it was announced, turning off fall damage doesn't allow you to skip out on executing all the platforming. You just don't respawn with a health penalty if you fail. You still have to eventually time it right.)

A few hours after turning off fall damage, I turned off combat damage too. So I guess I can't really evaluate the smoothness or difficulty of combat fairly, because uh... I was immortal. This is just me as a player though -- I played large chunks of Spiderman & Miles Morales & Rift Apart on immortality mode. Boss fights simply do not spark joy for me; I want to progress a story without repeating a segment several times. I will say, in this mode, combat was fairly repetitive, mainly just psi blasting and meleeing everything. I kept thinking about turning it off, to maybe appreciate the challenge or figure out other techniques.... but I really just wanted to keep progressing the story, so I never did.

HOWEVER... there's a ton of extremely profitable games where combat is literally just "shoot", so, even then I wouldn't hold it against Psychonauts much.

I'm an idiot I guess and didn't realize levelling up skills was a separate thing from buying pins to augment the skills. So I played like a good chunk of the game with every skill at level 0 lmfao.

Easily my least favourite level is the first one, which I think is a bit unfortunate... I don't have, like, a dental phobia and I was still not really enjoying that part, and compared to how colourful and cool and imaginative the other worlds are it just seems like it starts the game off on a weird foot.

I know some purists are reading this like SO YOU PLAYED A GAME WITH NO DAMAGE AT ALL? Yep and I appreciate DoubleFine allowing me to do so. ✌🏻

And then onto the pros:

Like... everything else?

Playing Rift Apart this summer made me feel like a kid again, as a someone who grew up on cartoony platformers like Spyro and who still craves the satisfaction of first discovering you can charge that cracked wall and find an orb behind it. Psychonauts 2 had all that fun of exploring maps and finding secret, hidden locations and collectibles... on top of having the most creative and varied level design I've ever seen.

Seriously the levels were gorgeous. I was constantly spinning the camera around to take in all the little details, and there were SO MANY different levels where the gimmick would surprise and delight me. Almost every level for me was like "omg how did they think of that". Even when I was getting irritated by (for eg) the unruliness of trying to steer a giant bowling ball down a precise ramp, I was at least marvelling at the ingenuity involved.

The script was wonderful. Funny, charming, clever in its use of metaphor, and genuinely touching at times. If ever anything felt a little bit simplified, well, it's a kid-friendly game... I can't be too mad about that.

Raz is so endearing! It's very easy for the plucky young kid character to uh, become grating, but I always found Raz charming and I was rooting for him. Richard Horvitz is so good.

TBH all the characters were super lovable and funny. In a giant cast of cartoons I don't think there was a single one where I'd be like "ugh, this guy again" which is quite a feat honestly. They were all charming and well-acted and bursting with dialogue.

Even the random NPCs around the motherlobe who have their own progressing storylines via conversations... I love that detail! It was one of my favourite parts of Life is Strange: True Colours and I was delighted when I realized it was happening in this game too. It was fun to check in on some of your faves as the game progressed.

I'm pretty thorough, and I love exploring maps, and boy do these maps have a lot to explore, especially the hub areas. I STILL haven't figured out how to get everywhere in the Questionable Area, lol, or gotten every psy card, etc.

I like the music, especially the music in the quarry area that absolutely makes me feel like I am walking around Epcot. Perfect vibe. (And the Small World knock-off music in Nick's brain lmao...)

As soon as the projection started talking I was like, "this is GIR, right? This is intentionally a Zim and Gir thing?" So I felt validated by checking IMDB after lmao.

Ummm... I think that's about it. Honestly great game. I might give Psychonauts 1 another go... although I'd say there's a high chance I instead watch it on YouTube, lol.

[thewispguy]

I watched the Chip ’n Dale Rescue Rangers Movie. My thoughts?

As a Chip 'n Dale Movie, I think it's okay at best. As a Rescue Rangers Movie? It's pretty bad. It makes me glad that DuckTales 2017 turned out as good as it did. That show was made by people who loved the Disney Afternoon cartoons, and tried to do it some justice for the new generation. This one feels like the people here wanted to make "Roger Rabbit 2" instead and simply chose a nostalgic property because reboots are the cool new thing.

When I first heard of the movie being made, I was expecting "The Rescue Rangers take on Fat Cat/Nimnul/an original villain in their most dangerous scheme yet!" Or "The Rescue Rangers have gone their separate ways, but join together once more to take on a new threat!" Or "This is a new origin story for the how Rescue Rangers came together to stop Fat Cat!" Not "Who Framed Roger Rabbit 2: Starring Chip 'n Dale from the Rescue Rangers!"

While Monty's kidnapping does drive the plot, Gadget and Zipper only help out at the very end of the movie where they fly Dale to his destination, and even then they remain uninvolved in the final conflict! Like, you could’ve replaced them with almost anyone else, and things still would’ve been the same. If this is supposed to be a “Rescue Rangers Movie,” why not have Gadget and Zipper team up with the duo to help find Monty? You mean to tell me Monty called in Chip n’ Dale for help, but not Gadget and his best pal Zipper?

Heck, why not have Fat Cat and Nimnul help out as well? Sure, you could argue “they’re evil, they would never help those Rescue Rodents,“ but as previously mentioned, in this world, The Rescue Rangers are actors.

In an early scene in the movie, both villains seem to be enjoying making the episodes alongside the heroes. I’m sure they would be more than happy to help them find one of their missing co-stars. Imagine Ellie going “You guys are helping? Aren’t you villains?“ and Fat Cat snarking back at her “Uh, hello? We’re actors. That was only in the show,“ with Nimnul following up with “We’re really nice once you get to know us,” or something like that.

Speaking of which... Gadget and Zipper? Really? This pairing really feels like it’s a spit on the fans than anything. I’d rather Chip/Gadget, Dale/Gadget, or just Gadget living by herself than that. (And I’m not even a massive shipper in the Rescue Rangers fandom)

I’d probably be less upset by that if they weren’t so selective on what Rescue Rangers lore they brought back. Like, Monty’s obsession with cheese wasn’t something that Monty “the character” was obsessed with. Monty “the actor” is also addicted to cheese, and it’s treated like a drug addiction. (And nobody in-universe cares that they wrote his addiction into their script because...?)

Heck, Gadget herself comments that “I guess my character from the old show and my character in real life are basically exactly the same!“ I might be remembering wrong, but didn’t Gadget sometimes display an interest in Chip, despite her being rather oblivious to love?

Heck, Zipper was shown being interested in Queenie the Queen Bee in one episode. Seems to me like they deliberately chose to ignore these two facts simply to spite the original fans.

And then there's the whole Peter Pan situation. Even ignoring its very unfortunate ties to the Bobby Driscoll tragedy, his backstory has a major plothole when Peter encounters one of the Lost Boys when he and his minions are chasing the two chipmunks.

How did that kid not age a day while Peter did? Never explained.

There was that one leak that suggests that PLUTO was intended to be the main villain. And you know what? That might just be the case. When you watch the film with that scrapped plot in mind, you start to notice some things. Like how our main antagonist Peter - originally “Mean Dean” in the leak - doesn’t really have a lot of lines of dialogue before he transforms into that amalgamation of a cartoon, especially compared to the second antagonist of the film. Heck, Mean Dean may not have even been intended to be Peter, only for that to change when they rewrote the script! But I digress...

That being said, there were some enjoyable moments here and there. I even think the flashbacks to Chip 'n Dale's childhood was pretty cute. But it's not enough to save the movie for me, and I pray a sequel to this - whether it's following Chip 'n Dale or Darkwing Duck - never happens. If you absolutely have to watch it, then I suggest you “set sails on the high-seas, matey!“ and never look back.

It’s true what they say: “Sometimes, some films deserve to slip through the cracks.“

[myneighbortmnt]

Here’s a progress clip in the form of a terrible quality GIF because I’m absolutely horrible with computers and this is the best I could figure out lol.

On the bright side I just learned how to put the little read more function in on Tumblr so I have a couple better quality individual pics below the cut along with what’s basically the first draft of my autobiography bcos damn do I ramble.

Warning for an infodump sorry guys this is practically a novel. I keep remembering stories that happened while I was drawing. 

Here’s this bad boy I sketched in my org chem class bcos drawing helps me alleviate the incredible strain of having to sit still and pay attention for an entire hour. I was like haha wow! This looks cool! I should totally finish this!! 

That was in March. 

I started coloring this in when I went on a trip with friends to a cabin on a lake. I had to color it in with my fingers because I’m constantly losing my art pen or forgetting to put in new batteries. Since we’re all dumb teenagers there was booze every night. I’m not a huge fan of the taste of alcohol and already have terrible impulse control so I’d chill and draw instead of drinking. One of our friends is Muslim tho so at least I had a sober buddy. :P

It still absolutely sucked tho drunk people are annoying and they smell terrible and they throw up they’re like giant children but like not cute. I ended up locking myself up in my room to keep out the smell, putting on some music, and reading The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks just to cope. Good book by the way. It’s basically the world building he did to make World War Z. 

Little skip ahead and a color change. Still using precious little references because I only get super motivated to draw when I don’t have internet. I seem to have accidentally earned the respect of my 11 yr old cousin, as he says this picture is “okay” but sits down next to me to watch every time I draw. I showed him the Mystic Library episode, and then eventually got him to watch a pretty big chunk of the series with me. He says he likes the show but that the intro theme is kinda cringey and seems too much like a kids cartoon. 

....it IS a kids cartoon??? Also bro ur like eleven you ARE a kid.

I am super proud of the detail I put into this book when I finally hunted down a reference. I cannot even tell you how much time I have spent just flicking between the progress pics so I made yall a gif because I just learned how. 

85% of the shadows in this piece I made by airbrushing and then erasing bits. Gotta say I freaking love drawing shadows like this 10/10 can and will do again. 

I’m like “hey! this is starting to look sorta finished! I think I can post it soon! 

But then I decide to draw the bookcases by hand.

Why? I don’t know. Well I mean I do know the old ones sucked but STILL. 

...I couldn’t get myself to do it and dropped the whole piece for two months. 

Three color changes and ten trillion little tweaks later I’m finally done. By the time I’m finished I’ve spent so much time on this that my family members are almost begging me to just post the damn thing instead of complaining about drawing details asdfdasf

Also if you made it to the end of this and somehow aren’t bored yet:

1) Congratulations! 

2) DM me if you have any questions about technique or just wanna chat! Just be warned that I will probably gush and/or ramble--! 

[destinygoldenstar]

Total Drama: Refilming Action, will be coming soon!

So, Total Drama:

A show about teenagers being tortured on reality TV for the vague promise of being paid for their suffering.

Believe it or not, I didn’t grow up with this show, it was around the time I started making rewrites of media in my spare time that I watched the first three seasons, and…

Holy ****, this was far more into crazytown than I thought it would be!

Like, do you KNOW how much grotesque imagery, sex jokes, and downright porn this show contains? And this is PG rated!

Okay, that’s besides the point. This show feels very nostalgic, as a parody of various kinds of reality shows, with insane and illegal challenges that can kill people, drama such as love, betrayals, and eliminations until one contestant wins a million bucks, and of course characters that initially are meant to be stereotypes, becoming far more relatable, funny, and people to route for, than I initiated going in.

The first season, Island, and the third season, World Tour, are great seasons in their own ways, and absolutely sell on this leaving such a memorable show…

But then we get to the second season, Total Drama Action. And this season just… frustrates me. YES, even more so than All Stars! I’m not saying it frustrates me because the season is bad, kind of a strong opinion to use if that’s the case, but this season has so much great potential that it only really scratches the surface of, and it’s the season I’ve not only devoted THE most of my time to than ANY Total Drama season, but it’s also the one I have the most mixed feelings of.

For a brief review, it really seems like this season should be a slam dunk for me, right? Returning a lot of the best characters in the previous season and putting them in various filming careers while parodying Hollywood. I live for film, I live for drama, I live for roasting Hollywood! I should LOVE this season, right?

Well, I really, REALLY want to, but every time I watch it, something just feels… off.

I initiated this rewrite as a cute exercise at first, but the more I actually dove into this season, the more I saw how complicated everything is. Like haha, it’s a kids comedy with edgy jokes and murderous stunts, right? What’s so hard to write about that?

A lot, actually.

See, in this season, because there’s the fewest amount of contestants out of the three seasons, it allows Action to rely less on jokes to carry the season and more so focus on the character’s stories and their respective arcs, how they each cope with their situation of being trapped in a never ending cycle of reality show torture, and the pressures that come with their relationships, and even their sanity. That’s why there are less episodes with characters being eliminated than in Island.

On its own, that’s a smart idea, and a really neat change of pace! Cartoons aren’t all about jokes, even edgy adult ones, and don’t just have to be made for entertainment, but have substance, plotlines to follow, even in a show like this where there’s barely any lore. As someone who values characters and their storylines, yeah I live for this.

The problem though is not only with several pacing issues, but HOW these characters' storylines are executed. I will say that pretty much all of these plotlines are good ideas on paper (with the exception of the Owen Mole thing), but the executions of them all in the final product are a massive ray of mixed bags.

Some of these plotlines are actually really engaging and solid, and fleshed out a lot of things, dare I say IMPROVING elements from Island that didn’t have time to flesh out some of this stuff. But other plotlines are executed in such an abysmally poor way that they obviously drag the whole season down. These elements are actually SO bad, that they damper the whole season, causing pacing issues, a lack of momentum for a good portion of the season, and actually affect the great plotlines, by robbing them of the satisfying conclusion that they deserve.

The sad thing is that this season is the least talked about of all the Total Drama seasons. Even All Stars is talked about more than this season! So yeah, and I feel bad for this season, and I believe that it does have potential to be as well written and as well remembered as Island and World Tour. And that’s what I’m doing.

And after going on and on about how this season in particular annoys me, I think it’s time I rewrite the season entirely, show you guys how I think this season should have been done, because if I put this much energy into something, it goes to show that I truly do care for it…

How this will work

I will say right now, that because this is a 9 hour long season, I’m not going to address the entire season in one go. Instead, I’ll be splitting this rewrite up to four separate parts. This is because I’m NOT just going to address what I would change and what I would not change, but rather retrospect this rewrite from as much detail as I can, that’s how I usually do things. Plus I think it’ll flow better.

I won’t go into as much detail with stuff that I didn’t change, but still address them for the story’s sake.

And if you’re wondering about the context with Island, I’m keeping the canon story of Island the same, and applying it to this rewrite. What logic from Island was carried over to Action, will apply, the same elimination order mentioned in Island, the same logic as to why some characters are in certain relationships with each other, everything. Not saying I wouldn’t tweak some things with Island, but overall that season was pretty great. There’s only one thing about Island that I’m changing to carry over to Action, and I’ll get to it later.

For Action, I am going to keep the core aspect and rules of the challenges in each episode, unless it really REALLY doesn’t make sense, and I’ll address that. But the core themes of each will be the same, is what I’m trying to say.

Like, episode 1 is a monster theme, episode 7 is a prison theme, episode 17 is a superhero theme, etc, just like in the canon, so that everyone KNOWS what episodes I’m talking about, even if they’re not familiar with the titles of each episode.

The only major thing I’m going to change with this, and might as well say it now: Episode 25 will NOT be the finalist challenge, but rather the semi-final challenge with the final three, and the finalists will be put to the test in episode 26 in Aftermath before the voting for the winner takes place.

That’s another thing I’m going to address. The elimination order in this rewrite is NOT the same. In this first half, there’s not a lot of change to that, but as the season progresses it’ll become more blatant that this elimination order is not the same as in the canon. So really, this is anyone’s game, and who the finalists are will be a mystery!

This is going to be a VERY rough overview, and I’m going to be going in as much detail as I can to the changes I made to the original canon.

However, there will be some brief lines or background details from canon that I won’t touch on, because it would be pointless, and unless I say it’s cut out, or if I don’t mention the scene it’s in at all, it’s probably still in this version.

(For example: “Nope. Call 911” won’t be mentioned)

A lot of those kinds of details could be fleshed out in the episode script. But if I go into THAT much detail, this rewrite will be WAY too long, and take like, 5 years to produce!! So please cut me some slack if I don’t mention some of your favorite details of the season!

If you don’t think something quite adds up, or if there’s any important stuff you think I missed, please, PLEASE, reply down below, I’d love to hear it! (Friendly notes, constructive criticism, and speculations for the rewrite are all welcomed!)

So, with all of this out of the way, there’s one last important detail I want to mention:

While the original contestants in the season: Owen, Gwen, Heather, Duncan, Leshawna, Geoff, Izzy, DJ, Lindsey, Bridgette, Trent, Harold, Beth, Justin, and later Courtney, are all in this rewrite as well, I’m going to ADD two characters to this cast.

Tyler.

And Noah.

Why do this? Why these guys?

Well with some certain plotlines of the season, I genuinely think these two will be the best of aid to spice them up. Plus with how many non-elimination episodes there are this season, I think adding eliminations for them won’t be so hard.

So, in a 16 way tie, campers are taken to the film sets for a whole new season of Total Drama, in a fight for $1,000,000. Who will come out as the finalists?

Well, pretty soon, you'll see!

There's no particular schedule for these parts to come out, so be on the look out for when they come!

[ayoalex]

Why is Team RWBY since the beginning present as a dangerous team?

Ok, before I begin this post I have to warn that:

1- I'm not an expert, this is based on my basic knowledge as someone that used to do martial arts as a kid, play a lot of video games and watch a bunch of anime/cartoon or read manga

2- This is going to be a long post, sorry 😞

3- You are always welcome to discuss in the replies or to correct in whatever I could get wrong, again I'm not an expert so don't be shy to call me out. Btw, English is not my first language so it's possible I could have some grammar mistakes.

4- Do not want to see any type of hate for any character 🤨

5- And last, decided to post this here because I prefer RWBY Tumblr community than Reddit one 💀

Let's begin!

When they present RWBY at the beginning of the project we got a glimpse of what they can do individually in the short films know as Red, White, Black and Yellow as well as some aspects of their character, backstory, etc.

As RWBY continued their journey we could see they seem as a force to be reckoned with when together but seem to be lacking in some aspects when they were alone.

The ones that didn't do better alone was mostly Ruby and Weiss while Blake and Yang seems to be able to hold their own alone (tho Blake seems to be in her flop era in the last volumes 💀).

So, let's talk about them as individual first.

Ruby: we all know her, leader of the team and the youngest of them all.

Ruby do pretty well alone when she's fighting Grimms, specially those that aren't that hard to go against. She's basically a prodigy and for that she got into Beacon earlier (and the fact she has silver eyes 😬).

She's the few people in Remnant that use a scythe as a weapon and she's pretty damn good with it; as told by a lot of character using that weapon is hard af so probs for her to be able to be so fucking smooth and amazing with Crescent Rose.

As told by Ruby herself in V1 while talking with Jaune, she did her weapon and here comes her first problem.

Not practical. Crescent Rose is a bad ass weapon and I absolutely love it but it's heavy and takes a lot to use it. It's a rifle as well so Ruby basically has to be a sniper to be able to go well with it.

It's a weapon that doesn't goes well with a team as can get in the way unless the user becomes a support for the team instead of being at front.

This is basically a metaphor of how Ruby is kinda a lone wolf at the beginning and awkward af with people.

But! She later gives some upgrades to Crescent Rose that helps her change the direction of scythe which give her adaptability! Which is completely important!

Now, if I take Crescent Rose away of Ruby what happens?

She's dead bro

Ruby is useless in close range combat, specifically physically one. We can see that in a lot of moments through the volumes.

She usually use her semblance as an advantage, which with her weapon works perfectly but without it is... Meh. It only helps her to speed up.

In Volume 5 Ozpin calls her out for that and then trains her, we then see Ruby being able to actually block and evade attacks without the use of her semblance... Until Ozpin took control of Oscar 💀

She knows basic stuffs, mostly with her defense but she lacks attack.

We don't actively see an improvement of this part in the future as she's seen to struggle keeping up with Harriet. Tho I'm going to give Ruby the fact that Harriet was being emotional and "aaahhh go crazy go stupid" In there.

Tho, Ruby lacks in this she make up by being a quick thinker and strategic.

She's the one that comes up with the plans and she's fast on her feet as well, she knows how to use her teammates perfectly to the point on coming up with duo attacks for them. She use her creativity to be able to defeat enemies as we can see at the end of V6 against the crazy old lady.

In general Ruby lacks close range fighting skills as well hand to hand combat + she can be really reckless and not actually think stuffs through it at first which can lead to disaster (she's getting better tho!)

Weiss: so... Oh boy, the ice queen comes next.

Her first actual win in a solo combat was Marrow if I remember correctly.

So here's the thing, as a solo fighter Weiss is the weakest link because she relies heavily in her semblance, get her someone that can break her aura fast and that's it, she loses.

But her semblance is really REALLY good.

Like she could stand in one place, do her thing and that's it but there's a thing... Weiss is too logical and sometimes narrow minded, her winning against Marrow was amazing and made me proud because she used EVERYTHING in that damn room to her favor. She was creative!

For her type of semblance that's important!

At the beginning she was too STIFF with her semblance but it got to the point where she has learned to be fast on her feet. Use her semblance in a better, creative way AND be a support in the team.

But now, without her semblance Weiss is a good fighter, being a mix of ballet with fencing/swordplay. Really pretty to see and then take off the damn weapon and she's pretty useless.

See a pattern here? Team Whiterose are completely useless without their weapons and semblance, mmmm

Overall Weiss is a freaking monster thanks to her semblance. She has gotten better to it, to control it and stuff, became more creative and less stiff as well as quick thinker but she needs to get better in hand to hand combat... Please, I'm begging.

Blake: ah yeah, our favorite emo cat girl.

So, Blake is crazy. That's it, that's everything I'm going to say about her.

Ok no, but seriously her fighting style is chef kiss

Blake use of her semblance is amazing, like this girl knows what she's doing when fighting.

Her weapons are great as well, like they are sword, a gun, then that freaking ribbon where she goes all Spiderman with everyone. Amazing!

Tho, she comes with an advantage that no other in her team has.

As explained by different characters in the series, Faunus has physical advantage over humans, not only some of them can see in the dark, but they seem to get some characteristics of the animal they are based off.

A good example is how agile Velvet is thanks to the fact she's a rabbit faunus or the way Sun jumps because of being a monkey faunus.

Blake being a cat faunus gives her ton of advantage, she's stealthy, agile, fast, listen better than the average human, etc

Combine that with her semblance, weapon and fighting style and you have an amazing fighter.

But Blake is reckless and that have cost her in the past. Not only that but while she seems to know only basic stuff in hand to hand combat, relies a lot in her semblance and lately she use her ribbon way too much.

That gives an opportunity to the enemy to take her out easily as we saw in her fight against Vine.

I'm going to say that Blake is generally a good fighter and probably one of the best in Team RWBY in general words but lately she seems to focus a lot in her ribbon which makes her an easy target, idk if this on purpose because Blake have always dislike her semblance or it just they don't know how to make Blake fighting style anymore but it kinda annoys me how she has been reduced to a damsel in distress in some fighting scenes.

Overall Blake is a top notch fighter and her weakness are small details that she slowly overcoming.

Yang: ah yeah, here comes my girl (stupid Tumblr mobile isn't letting me putting her name in yellow 😡)

As you guys know I'm a hoe for this girl so I will try to be objective here.

Yang is the strongest member of the team, not only physically but mentally as well.

So, by far she has my favorite fighting style of all the damn characters, I just love watching Yang fight. I think is because I did martial arts as a kid and then some kick boxing in college so idk.

Listen, this girl is so damn practical, her weapons are absolutely genius.

She's probably the few (maybe only one?) Character that actually took an existing fighting style and did her weapon around it + uses her semblance around it which is practical and smart af

Which comes to one of my favorite things of Yang, how tactical she is. Like Yang is what Ruby could be if it wasn't because of the damn weapon.

Like you guys don't get, Ruby weakness is Yang strength.

Yang since the very beginning showed us how of an amazing fighter she is. You thought Ruby is a prodigy? That Weiss is a monster? Blake is out of this world? Well Yang is fucking God.

I know I KNOW, I said I was going to be objective but it just MISS YANG XIAO LONG IS WHAT CINDER WISH SHE COULD BE, I SWEAR TO GOD, THIS GIRL IS BETTER THAN SOME OF THE ADULTS IN THE SHOW.

Ok ok ok

Yang is emotional tho, which cost her a lot (like A LOT, she lost her arm), in the past she was angry 24/7 (still is but baby got it under control 🥰). People are going to say "well not in v1, 2 and 3!".

I'm sorry but that girl has angry issues and the only moment she gets to be angry is when fighting so yeah, she would angry fight everyone and you know what? She still was an amazing fighter while doing so cuz she would kick everyone ass, being tactical about it, find her opponent weakness and absolutely looking hot while doing so.

Anyway, Yang doesn't have like a huge weakness like Ruby or Weiss, literally are small details. She's pretty much versatile as Ember Celica give her the option of shooting at her opponent. Since the beginning she was pretty much one of the best fighters of all the kids, probably coming second after Phyrra.

Her semblance use is pretty good as well, she seems to have a better grasp of it than some of the other kids and know how to manipulate it without overusing it.

Which btw is what made me have like a huge problem with V4 with the whole Taiyang stuff cuz Yang already knew how to fight like he was telling her, so idk I feel that was an insult to Yang as a character because the reason she lost her arm was because of stress, tired, being in battlefield and hello her partner is in danger.

RWBY

Now that I finished with them individually we can see that RWBY has 2 support fighters, 1 versatile and the other one a basically upfront fighter. Which comes in handy a lot of fights.

But it isn't this what makes them a formidable team but it's their chemistry.

Since the very beginning we see they do the most important thing in any type of relationship, communication.

As Weiss has her problem with Ruby at the beginning she end up talking with an adult about it and then getting call out for her poor behavior, that makes her change her approach to Ruby but before all that she did communicate Ruby what her problem was with her which made Ruby to talk with Ozpin and change her approach to study and her team as well.

We see that Yang and Blake goes well since the beginning as well, and they communicate a lot better than Ruby and Weiss at the beginning. To the point that we can see it in their teamwork.

When it comes to Weiss racism the rest of the team communicate her to stop it and then you have Blake and Weiss discussion about it where we got a glimpse of Weiss life in Atlas as well the revelation of Blake being a faunus and an ex member of the White Fang. This makes Blake run away which later Weiss criticized while telling her that they should talk first and communicate better.

The priority of RWBY as a team is communication. Ruby communicate her plans to the rest of the teams, Weiss her feelings, Blake her knowledge and Yang... Ok maybe Yang needs to work in this department.

This makes their teamwork really strong and their bond just continues getting deeper.

Add to this the fact they learn to use each other in a better way, as having both Weiss and Ruby as support helps a ton, Blake to distract their opponents and Yang to finish them off.

A good example of this is probably the train part in V6, where Yang fights all of the Grimms closely, Blake tends to fight them at some distance while helping out and Ruby with Weiss combination of support make the job hard for the Grimms.

This is exactly why JOYR had such a problem with a new Grimm, Yang needs someone to catch her back while she finds a way to destroy the Grimm which is usually provided by her teammates meanwhile RWB didn't had the boost of strength that Yang gives them in battle to be able to finish off the Hound.

Even in duos RWBY are a hard opponent to go against, probably the duo that would have a hard time is Freezerburn as we see in V3 and still I think if you put them fight together currently they would be a duo you wouldn't want to cross lol

They shouldn't have a problem with trios either but usually Yang is the strength of the group and basically the tank so is understandable that RWB had a hard time adapting without her there.

There's a part in the book Before the Dawn where Coco talks about RWBY and how they are a really strong team and even say that while JNPR aren't bad, they were basically carrying on with Phyrra since Jaune wasn't the fighter he is today. (Plus other problems that Renora have as fighters but this is something for other day).

RWBY in general has a great communication between the members, a great leadership, strong bonds and amazing fighters. They know how to adapt to each other styles and some members even complement each other (Yang and Blake).

Other thing that should be talk about its how basically Ruby and Weiss are too similar and too different at the same time to the point that they should clash a lot (which they used to do) but thanks to the fact they communicate their teamwork is amazing and in their own way they make it work.

It really helps that Ruby with Weiss can have the luxury to go upfront against an enemy while having Weiss to back her up which is something she can't do with Yang or Blake.

That's mostly because their teamwork is a metaphor of their own relationship as well as Yang and Blake teamwork is a metaphor of their own relationship.

Usually Weiss is the main support of her team since she's a large range fighter thanks to her semblance which is basically what she gives to her teammates outside of the battle.

RWBY basically fight is how they are with each other outside of the battle as we can see in multiple instances.

Yang being the tank and strength in their fighting style is exactly what Yang is to RWB, she's basically the heart and soul of the team and without her a lot of their attacks doesn't have the strength necessary for it to work as well as we can in V8 how long it took to RWB to know what to do while Yang already knew what she had to do with JOYR. She's the action.

While Ruby is the leader and sometimes call the shoot, she guide the girls through battle and help both with support and action. She usually starts the fight as a sniper until she sees an opening to fight up close which is a thing she actually do with her team. She takes a step back before talking with any of them and helps them navigate through situation in their lifes like promising Weiss to being on her side at Atlas to sometimes intervening between Weiss and her family.

Blake in the other hand is more of a wild card, she's usually Yang personal support as their styles complement each other but in most situations she does it on her own, unlike Ruby, Blake usually is more of an upfront fighter and only being support when Yang needs her which is a thing outside of battle. She usually does her own way, and while she support both Weiss and Ruby is with Yang where we see a more intimate support.

This is what makes RWBY dangerous, their bond and chemistry is something they worked hard to have as they started with difficulties, is a thing the 4 of them appreciate and love, it really helps they know how to communicate and do so to be able to have a healthy relationship between each other.

Right now we are finally seeing a lack of communication between RWBY, specially between Yang and Ruby.

As we all know RWBY is a direct parallel of STRQ which means this miscommunication between Yang and Ruby is important for their future as a team. Is implied that they still have each other back but it's necessary for Yang to open up to Ruby about what's going since this could create a breach if not treated.

Conclusion: stan RWBY and stan LOONA 😌

[sketching-shark]

I think we should start a protection squad (although they don’t need it because they can protect themselves) for Sun Wukong and Guanyin

“Begone monkie kid fandom trying to down grade these really interesting characters with interesting personality’s and backstory ( the both of them like seriously Guanyin backstory is so cool) to a villain wile trying to justify your angsty backstory (that are no where near as cool as monkey who fights gods and Person who has 1000 arms and heads to help people in need) for the actual villain”

So who wants to join

Me:*raises my hand*

Ps: sorry if I got Guanyin backstory wrong am not an expert on it.

Haha okay so some critiques on the jttw & associated media western fandom & fandom in general coming up, so please skip this upcoming text wall if you don't want to encounter my undoubtedly ~devastating~ words (i.e. don't like don't read as people love to say, & if I have to be inundated with images of my notp every time I go into the sun wukong tag then I imagine people can be chill with me expressing my opinions & giving people fair warning that I WILL be critiquing common fandom trends, but no need for you to see that if you don’t want to. Cool? Cool.)

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PFFFFFTTT oh man there are many times when I feel like signing up for such a protection squad...when it comes to the current western jttw & Sun Wukong fandom I do feel like I'm often swinging at a rapid pace between "well it's fandom & people are allowed to make the stories they want" & "I am once again begging my fellow monkie kid enthusiasts (& sometimes creators) to do more research into the og classic/show it more respect so you can avoid any potentially offensive/off-the-mark misunderstandings of the status & cultural context of the characters in their country of origin (I promise it's super interesting & I can provide you with links to free pdf copies of the entire Yu translation, i.e. the best one ever created, so feel free to ask!) & maybe also stop constantly stripping away all the nuance of Sun Wukong's character for the sake of either making him an entire asshole so your little meow meow can look completely innocent in comparison and/or making the monkey king's entire life & character revolve around said meow meow."

Like I get that fandom's supposed to be a kind of anything-goes environment, but one thing that honestly seems to be true of a lot of fandoms--and the western one for Sun Wukong & co. is certainly not immune from this--is that there often seems to be a kind of monoculturalization at work in what stories are created & what character interpretations are made popular. Across a multitude of fandoms, you frequently see basically nothing but the exact same tropes being made popular & even being insisted on for the canonical work (especially hasty redemption arcs & enemies to lovers these days), the exact same one-dimensional character types that characters from an original work keep getting shoved into, the exact same story beats, etc. And I get it to an extent, as fandom is generally a space where people just make art and fic for fun & without thinking too hard about it & without any pressure. 

This seems to, however, often unfortunately lead to the mentality that it’s your god-given right to do literally whatever you want with literally any cultural figure without even the slightest bit of thought put into their cultural, historical, and even religious context, even (and sometimes especially) when it comes to figures that are really important in a culture outside your own. For such figures--even if you first encounter them in a children’s cartoon--you should be a little more careful with what you do with them than you would with your usual Saturday morning line-up. It of course has to be acknowledged that there exists a whole pile of absolutely ridiculous & cursed pieces of media that are based on Journey to the West & that were produced in mainland China, but for your own education if nothing else I consider it good practice for those of us (myself certainly included) who aren’t part of the culture that produced JTTW to put more thought into how we might want to portray these characters so that at the very least (to pull some things I’ve seen from the jttw western fandom) we’re not turning a goddess of mercy into an evil figure for the sake of Angst(TM), or relegating other important literary figures into the positions of offensive stereotypes, or making broad claims about the source text & original characterizations of various figures that are blatantly untrue, or mocking heavenly deities because of what’s actually your misunderstanding of how immortality works according to Daoist beliefs. Yet while a lot of this is often due to people not even trying to understand the context these figures are coming from, I do want to acknowledge that the journey (lol reference) to understand even a fraction of the original cultural context can be a daunting one, especially since, as I’ve mentioned before, it can be really hard & even next to impossible to find good, accessible, & legitimate explanations in English of how, for example, the relationship between Sun Wukong and the Six-Eared Macaque is commonly interpreted in China & according to the Buddhist beliefs that define the original work. 

That is to say, I do think it’s an unfortunate, if unavoidable, part of any introduction of an original text into a culture foreign to its own for there to be sometimes a significant amount of misinterpretation, mistranslations, and false assumptions. There is, however, a big difference between learning from your honest mistakes, & doubling down on them while dismissing all criticism of your misinterpretation into that abstract category of “fandom drama.” The latter attitude is kind of shitty at best and horrifically entitled at worst. 

Plus, as I’ve discovered, there is a great deal of interest and joy to be drawn from keeping yourself open to learning aspects of these texts & figures that you weren’t aware of! I can say from my own experience that I’ve always really enjoyed & appreciated it when individuals on this site who come from a Chinese background--and who know much more about the cultural context of JTTW than me--have taken the time to explain its various aspects. It often leaves me feeling like woooooaaaahhhhhHHH!!!! as to how amazingly full of nuanced meaning JTTW is like dang no wonder it’s one of China’s Four Great Classical Novels. 

And I guess that right there is the heart of a lot of my own personal frustration and disappointment with the ways that fandoms often approach a literary work or other piece of media...like don’t get me wrong, a lot of the original works a fandom may grow around are just straight-up goofy & everyone’s aware of it & has fun with it, yet the trend of approaching what are often nuanced and multi-layered works in terms of how well they fit and/or can be shoved into pretty cliche ideas of Redemption Arc or Enemies to Lovers or Hero Actually Bad, Villain Actually Good etc...well, it just seems to cheapen and even erase even the possibility of understanding the wonderful complexity or even endearing simplicity that made these works so beloved in the first place. Again, I feel like I need to make it clear that I’m not saying fandom should be a space where people are constantly trying to one-up each other with their hot takes in literary analysis, but it would be nice and even beneficial to allow room for commentary that strives to approach these works in a multi-faceted way, analysis & interpretations that go against the popular fandom beliefs, & criticism of the work or even of fandom trends (yes it is in fact possible to legitimately love something but still be critical of its aspects) instead of immediately attacking people who try to engage in such as just being haters who don’t want anyone to have fun ever (X_X).   

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Anyway, I know I didn’t cover even half of the stuff you brought up in the first place anon, but I don’t want any interested parties to this post to suffer too long through my text wall lol. I was asked to try my hand at illustrating Guanyin, but as with you I’m nowhere near as informed as I should be about her, so I want to do more research on her history and religious importance before I attempt a portrait. I’ll try my best, and do plan to pair that illustration with my own outsider’s attempt to summarize her character. From what little I do know I am in full agreement that her backstory is so incredibly amazing...just the fact that she literally eschewed the bliss of Nirvana to help all beings reach it, and even split herself into pieces in the attempt to do so (with Buddha granting her eleven heads and a thousand arms as a result)...man, I can see why she’s such a beloved & respected deity. 

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 As for what western fandom commonly does with everyone’s favorite god-fighting primate...I can talk about this at length if there’s interest, but for this post I’ll just say that I guess one lesson from all of this is that for all the centuries that have passed since Journey to the West was first completed, literally no one drawing inspiration from the original tale in the west (lol) has come even slightly close to being able to equal or even capture half the extent of the nuance, complexity, religious, historical, and cultural aspects, and humor that define Wu Cheng'en's story of an overpowered monkey who defied even Buddha.

So thank the heavens we'll always have the original.

[popculturebuffet]

House of Mouse: Max’s Embarrassing Date Review

Hello House Mouses and welcome back to the house of mouse. Another comission by Kev and my second House of Mouse for the valentine’s season. This time we’re not tackling a Valentine’s Episode necesarily, but a romantic one all the same as fan faviorite couple Max and Roxanne finally go on a date.  I always liked Max. Even as a kid when I wasn’t the biggest fan of “A Goofy Movie”, didn’t like the darker patches like the principals office scene or the Pete Hot tub scene.. though in hindsight both had legit greviances with Max... it just dosen’t make either less terrible as the principal still told an innocnet man who wasn’t responsible for what his kid did and was trying his best that his son was going to become a crminal because of one stupid but mostly harmless prank, and Pete.. is just an abusive, unlikeable and unlovable ass in both Goof Troop and Goofy Movie, and I hate how he treats his son, don’t blame his wife for leaving him or taking their daughter and dog, and am really sad he got custody of PJ somehow. And for the record this isn’t ALL petes, just this version. The rest are fine and just the right level of asshole. 

Point is despite my problems with the first film, I had none with the second and even now I like it due to having some really good ideas and concepts while also being gloirously rediclous due to the loveably dated X-Games element. While I do have a spot in my heart for the Dana Hill and Shaun Fleming versions, especially the latter once upon a christmas is awesome, Jason Marsden’s version is the best by the mile having the right amount of ego mixed with self doubt to make him likeable enough to brook him being an ass to his dad a lot. He’s a good character.. and it baffles me Disney NEVER uses him nowadays. No really, the last time he showed up was in twice upon a christmas and no one liked that because he was dating someone who wasn’t Roxanne just to rehash the same plot they’d already rehashed better in Extremley Goofy Movie. I REALLY need to rewatch that one. Hmm.... gonna see if I can squeeze that one into May or later in April. That’s for another time. 

But yeah while he’s at one of the disney parks, that’s it. The character just .. vanished, and hasn’t been brought back in any way shape or form. Though I could see either a Disney Plus reboot of goof troop or a goofy movie with max having his own kids. That could be intresting. Also bring Roxanne back as weirdly this episode i’m reviewing, a goofy movie and now her ducktales cameo are her ONLY apperances. 

Seriously I get she’s not the most fleshed out.. but then flesh her out. Like Max she’s crminally underused and while I get her absence as a character in the sequel, the plot really didn’t need her, he still could’ve been dating her off screen. Though clearly the two worked things out and tried again as this episode came out AFTER extremely did. But did this episode work out? Join me under the cut to find out. 

As i’ve decided is my standard for House of Mouse Episodes, shorts first, then wraparound, then Mickey Mouse live sex celebration. Though I will say i’ve picked up there are two kinds of formats for the show: They either use two of the longer Mouseworks shorts or just one close to 11 minute short, a medium one, and one of the little two minute segments. There might be a break from this in the future, we shall see but for now those ar ethe two standards. This time we have two longer shorts. 

Pluto’s Penthouse Sweet: 

I’ve mentioned in the past I dont’ really get why Pluto is part of Disney’s sensational six along with Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy and Daisy. And I stand by that: While he’s had his own cartoons they just aren’t as entertaining and creative as MIckey’s or hilarous and relatable as Donald and Goofy’s. He’s just an average cartoon dog. He works fine in tandem with Mickey, but on his own he’s just nothing and his spot should be taken by pete, who while not a goodie all the time, again the goof troop version needs to step on a rake and fall into a well.. somehow. i didn’t think my insult through. Point is pete is better.  And this short isn’t BAD .. but to me it’s what some fans THINK the disney shorts are: Bland, maybe one or two good jokes but almost nothing new or intresting. As I found out last year, that’s far from the case, as a lot of the Donald shorts are still hilarious today and a lot of the mickey shorts are shockingly creative, like Thru The Mirorr where he goes .. well thru the mirror into a wonderland like world where all the inanaimate objects are alive and he can shrink and what not via astral projection, or Mickey’s Mechanical Man, which I sadly didn’t know about when I did the MIckey Birthday Special and for some reason isn’t on disne plus. In it Mickey creates a robot and has it box a monsterous looking gorillia. 

How has Mickey piloting this thing but giant sized against various kaiju been a thing yet? And if it has someone tell me. Seriously with all the comics and animated series how. I’d even settle for a Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse episode. Just bring this guy back. Point is there was far more invetnion than it seemed.. at least at first as it slowly died out as they went by the late 50′s. But Pluto just seemed even in their hayday like your standard pet gets into antics thing without the creative slapstick of tom and jerry or the likeablity of sylvester who never could get that asshole Tweety Bird. This is just weak sauce and whiel I could forgive the older shorts, as their from another time and likely lead to say Tom and Jerry... I can’t forgive this which was made probably in 1998 and released in 1999 originally. Comedy had evolved a LOT by that point and unlike the Goofy how to shorts, which are a format that is immortal and still evolved to match the times and felt fresh, these just feel stale and boring and like the last Pluto short I covered this one was a chore to sit through though not nearly AS bad. 

Still though the premise is about the same, Pluto’s left to his own devices, and finds a female dog, though in this case she’s VERY intrested in him. I”m also not entirley convinced she’s a dog, but instead one of Jumba’s experiments and that Lilo and Stitch later had to journey to.. wherever these shorts take place to fetch him. Or more likely the house of mouse. I mean Proud Family, Recess, American Dragon Jake Long and Kim Possible all take place int hat universe, why can’t house of mouse? Also tell me you wouldn’t watch an avengers style team consisting of Kim, Ron, Jake, Penny, Probably TJ, Lilo, Stitch and Donald Duck. If you wouldn’t i’d call you a liar because you would be. 

Seriously the eyes give her away.... just look at them. Very experimenty. But before Pluto can do it like they do on the discovery channel he has to get past the guard dog.. though how he does produces the one great gag of the short, as he BUILDS A GIANT, TROJAN HORSE ESQUE PLUTO OUT OF JUNK. Just holy shit that’s awesome> It gets him inside, only for him to find his lady friend is a bit TOO affectionate and he has to escape, he does so, and MIckey wonders if he missed him etc lame button. This short was a vacuum of comedy outside of GIANT PLUTO. Seriously where’s my disney giant mecha series. YOu have five main characters, and Pluto among with MANY, MANY side characters, frmo scrooge to the boys to hopefully Della, to even possibly pete and mortimer who could have their own mech against the heroes but maybe join them in the last episode. Maybe max and pj could have some, have a father vs son thing with PJ and Pete. I”m just saying, i’d watch it. I know my nieces would watch it. I know my nephews would watch it. Greenlight it. Or i’ll make it.. somehow. 

How to Ride a Bike: Speaking of the How To Shorts, as usual for the House of Mouse era ones.. this was awesome, pretty much what you’d expect, some goofy, pardon the pun, gags about goofy riding a bike and then a fun climax of him in a bike race. Not a ton to add, other than that hamster bike above is genius. Just needs some tweaking. Really funny, really simple, and really good as you’d expect from a good Goofy Short. Easily the best part of the episode. 

Max’s Embarrassing Date: So this was a disapointment. Like i’d try to be nice.. but I had high hopes given this brought Roxanne back, and while the premise was stock maybe they’d do something funny with with it. 

But no the plot is pretty standard, very predictable and fairly obnoxious. Max has a date with Roxanne, and is playing it cool and what not, but is worried his dad will find out.. which he somehow did offscreen. Probably Clarabelle.. I mean they do go out sometimes in this one, wouldn’t surprise me. 

So Max pleads with the rest of the HOM staff to keep him away because he fears his dad will overdo things, which.. is fair and one of the few things I like> He dosen’t want him to overdo it on the mood because this is well.. a first date. He dosen’t want to pressure her or himself and just wants it to be nice and calm. The problem is it’s framed like him once again being embarassed by his dad and having to learn better.

At this point we’d had TWO movies do this already, one of which was only two years old at the time of this episode. This plot is stale as old toast even if it dind’t have goofy in it. And the twist is predictable: the HOM crew end up also overdoing it: Minnie comments on how cute they are and wants candles brought, Daisy gets them a bigger table forgetting how dates work,t hough we do get a great gag of hte 7 dwarves stacked, and Mickey while having .. some.. gopher? I honestly can’t tell who it was, usually i’m better at the cameos. Speaking of which they also have a runner of beast going on a date with Cruella Devile. 

I mean is he cheating on his wife? Is she holding his wife hostage? Is this before belle because we see a post transfomratoin beast too so maybe the House of Mouse is an intersection of space and time? That’s.. actually the most resonable answer I can think of honestly and when i’m focusing more on how the hell your gag works than how funny it is, you clearly failed somewhere along the line. 

Point is Mickey puts his good friend in a pothole, and not only calls max little max, which while an understnadably close family thing to do is still embarassing, but also takes pictures while their eating the spagetthi.. which i’m 100% sure was Huey’s idea nad had Mickey not interrupted, would’ve been tied up down the middle for a lady and the tramp thing. It’s his signature move. Well that and having a panic attack. That’s also one of mine the others being lettterkenny refrences and sex jokes about disney characters.  But yeah this just.. dosen’t work. Them being as embarassing? that’d be fine.. if they weren’t wholly unsympathetic for not only keeping their friend from WELL INTEITONEDLY trying to help his son on his date, something his son shold have no problem with since ROXANNE’S MET HIM. AND IS FINE WITH HIM. AND NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU BEING HIS SON LIKE THE DICKHEADS AT SCHOOL. MINUS BOBBY WHO YOUR FRIENDS WITH FOR SOME REASON. My point is this plot bothers me a lot, and it makes the mickey crew come off like assholes for doing this to thier friend instead of just talking to him like a person. Especially since only ONE of them is a parent and Conviently donald is mostly absent. Likely because he realized this was going to end badly and just agreed to tie the spagetthi like huey taught him to keep his involvment in this shit show and gaslighting his best friend to a minimum. 

Eventually Mickey takes things a step too far and has Sebastian almost sing kiss the girl. Max cuts him off though yelling that he just wants them to back off, he just wants them to relax and he TOLD them this, which makes them come off worse as they KNEW he didn’t want this and did it anyway and never apologize becaue apparently the first rule of house of mouse is never apologize for anything, huh huh. Goofy naturally steps in, tells them off and agrees to serve them and Roxanne finds him entertaining and gives him a nose kiss for being a good dad. He’s a good guy that Goof.  Roxanne then whispers something in max’s ear at the end of the date... which gives him an audible erection. No really. And given his age is vauge here I’m suddenly super duper uncomfortable so let’s move on. 

So max tells them she liked it and wants to come back.. 100% sure that wasn’t what she said but what she said isn’t fit to print and you’ve seen what i’ve said and what I put in the we’ll be right back. Point is he’s happy, though Mickey says we’ll try to make it extra special next time. Mickey.. did you do a space mountain’s worth of pills and cokea nd just forget the entire evening? Did you take some of those hangover roofies/ Why would you do that? Was that pete’s new plan to steal the house of mouse? To drug you guys and make you forget you already paid the rent? Did PJ stop him? Inquiring me wants to know. 

Final Thoughts: Yeah this wasn’t a very good episode. Roxanne is wasted despite having a suitable replacment Roxanne voice in Grey Delise, with no real depth just to rehash the plot of the first and second goofy movies. And this one didn’t have an inexpilicable beatnik cafe, PJ getting laid and finally being happy for once, a standard college fraternity plot  surgeically infused with an out of nowhere obession with xtreme sports that was nowhere in the first film, Goofy in an afro, Goofy finding love, That disco sequence, and a climax in which Goofy carries Brad Garret out of a fire, then Brad Garret probably kills the villian of the film who certainly deserved it. My points are this episode was an underwhelming rehash only saved by some good shippy moments and a good goofy short. It was weak, not all that funny, and not all that intersting.  My other point is that an extremley goofy movie is awesome and also kinda insane and I love it for that. I’m glad I saw this one but i’m really disapointed in how bleh it was. Next time I visit the house of mouse is.. actually in a few days as Pete Does a One Man Show. So yeah already 100% better just by having THAT musical number in it, see you then and if not, there’s always another rainbow.