#the Handshake™

[garrus-appreciation]

THE HANDSHAKE THE FUCKING HANDSHAKE YOU GUYS THE HANDSHAKE THE HANDSH

[tiggerzone]

[lighthouseborn]

oh you know i actually don't get to do this a lot because our experiences simply do not often line up but henry (handshake) me -> whales are just built different

[jojaydoodles]

Posted ages ago on my ko-fi, but what the hell. I don't have time to draw new art TT_TT

It's difficult to draw someone who looks like everyone else and anyone at the same time. I imagine if beige was a person, they would have to look like Moist von Lipwig. I was going for the sort of coloring that would make it difficult to recall / describe the exact color of hair, eyes and skin. Which is, mostly, just brown-ish with a vague hint of Jerry from HR.

Just another face in the crowd. Wearing the very black, golem-made suit.

You'll remember the words, the golden hat and the swagger - but not the person.

The Man You Can Trust ™ and his Honest Handshake.

[ahappyphjl]

the dnp handshake™

[glassedplanets]

i cannot believe it's taken me this long to do a destiny AU but wow better late than never

playing very fast and loose with both canons here - pirate crews = renegade clans, marines/world gov't = vanguard (sorry actual vanguard whomst i love). the one piece is the traveler??? who knows. anyways:

luffy, human lightbearer

subclass: yippee!

loadout: wahoo!

ghost: mugi, one-of-a-kind shell given to him by shanks as a kinderguardian. the shell seems to change when he supers. What's Up With That!

all prismatic all the time, basically a dark age guardian. zero boundaries between class and subclass. just does whatever is fun. doesn't care until he Does and then you're fucked.

regularly wears (steals) class items from clanmates, it was a little alarming at first but they all feel whatever about it now

should not be trusted with raid mechanics.

zoro, awoken titan

subclass: strand

primary: breakneck (OG roll)

secondary: ergo sum (void/caster/wolfpack)

heavy: falling guillotine (OG godroll, WWB/relentless)

exotic: stoicism (inmost/star-eater or inmost/synthos)

ghost: wado, received from kuina after her death (don't think about this too hard. jaren ward/shin malphur situation. whatever). wado's shell was cloven by mihawk in a duel.

wears sanji's old bond looped into his mark, will not answer questions about this

specced hard into banner for a fuckoff insane melee loop, rotates melee buffs with luffy and sanji

mostly DPS/add clear, uses that ergo roll so that sanji/luffy/franky (haz prop) can get wolfpack, if the boss can't be meleed then Why Is He Even Here

flat-out banned from participating in the mechanics of several raid encounters on account of going to the wrong fucking place (vault, gatekeeper, sol inherent, totems, etc.), if he gets torn between dimensions or anything but first in queenswalk then everyone just has to desperately pray for the best.

ran vanguard bounties regularly until he eventually refused to cooperate with the then-head of the cosmodrome's operations; luffy found him with kuina's ghost bound and freed them both. The Rest Is History.

distributary-born but doesn't know (or care), kept being greeted weirdly by people in the dreaming city (which i guess is where we have wano's events......... kaido is literally a dragon, so)

VJ-G-66-03 sanji, human (?) warlock

subclass: prismatic, solar super

primary: fatebringer (OG fatebringer roll™)

secondary: tarrabah

heavy: apex predator (recon/B&S)

exotic: solipsism (assassin/synthos)

ghost: mignon, received from zeff after voluntarily giving up his light for sanji

wears zoro's old mark tied below his bond, will not answer questions about this

specced into Burn Motherfucker Burn, solar buddy + snaps, frontline add clear alongside luffy and zoro, also part of the "if the boss can't be meleed/snapped then why am i even here" gang

CAN be trusted with raid mechanics but is often better utilized keeping adds off the other half of the fireteam

sanji's body is riddled with vintech implants that don't seem to do anything. they're most definitely new, and sanji wasn't rezzed that long ago, but vintech was lost in the collapse along with everything else and the only thing that really survived is a bunch of muddled records found at old vega collective sites.

sanji was the vintech patriarch's one failed experiment; his consciousness refused transfer to an exo body and after many attempts, he was discarded but managed to survive through the kindness of dark-age guardians until he was taken in by zeff.

he has three vertical black facial markings; each experiment has a number of markings corresponding to their order (and color) in the sequence.

and other straw hats! i have a little less about them, but:

nami, human hunter

subclass: arcstaff (Throw Stick/well of bad/i don't remember its actual name)

primary: patron of lost causes

secondary: riskrunner

heavy: stormchaser

exotic: liar's handshake

ghost: zeus, stolen from big mom (tangerine shell)

(was tempted to do stormcaller unlimited power but arcstaff is... you know)

usopp, human hunter

subclass: solar, precision goldie

primary: succession

secondary: trinity ghoul

heavy: scintillation

exotic: nighthawk

ghost: merry (sheepshead shell)

can and should be trusted with raid mechanics along w/ nami

and the rest of the crew i'm not 100% set on buuuuut:

chopper: exo warlock (well of radiance)

robin: awoken warlock (strand? void?)

franky: exo titan (thundercrash)

brook: exo hunter (stasis)

jinbei: awoken titan (stasis? arc?)

misc others:

law: awoken prismatic hunter, blinky knife

reiju-0: exo void hunter, tether + smoke bomb, le monarque

ichiji-1: exo solar hunter, blade barrage

niji-2: exo arc titan, striker, ACD/0

yonji-4: exo strand titan

and textless, glow-less versions if you got this far!

[sunshineandspencer]

Has to be a joke (Iridescent, Part 1)

A/N: I will be writing more based on these two (I'm currently writing a fic but wanted to put the ideas out) and wanted to show their first meeting :) I hope you enjoy <33 also this is set for postprison!spencer, except I'm too much of a wuss to go past season 10, so expect inaccuracies into how that all goes down.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!OC.

Summary: Spencer doesn't like the name of his new partner.

Word Count:��1.2k

Warnings: swearing, spencer is an ass™ (I have no idea I've never done this before sorry)

Parts: Pt2

Let me stress, this is not Maeve from the show, but my own Maeve just named the same to send Spencer into hell whenever he thinks about it.

In all the mind-fucking ways that the BAU have slowly tried to help her adjust - by that, her very first case was a misogynistic cannibal that seemed to like her a touch too much - this had to be the worst.

Granted, she is a pushover, and so she agreed to do this, so honestly she brought this upon herself.

Spencer Reid, the man she had been acting as a ‘replacement’ for while he was in prison, was finally coming back. Some might assume, ‘oh- this means you’re going back to cyber crimes right’. A fair enough assumption, and one she had made herself.

However, Emily, her Unit Chief, liked her work so much that she was asked to stay permanently. Of course, blaming the pushover-ness again, she agreed.

Now, not only did she find herself potentially becoming Spencer’s partner but she was tasked with cleaning his desk before he got back.

For the most part, they kept it clean in his absence, but an uptick in cases and zero free time meant that it became neglected. Everyone quickly agreed that the germophobic man would not like to come back from prison to a dusty desk. In comes his new partner, agreeing with a self-depreciative laugh as she stayed behind to dust off the desk and array of personal items.

Not that it’s wholly surprising that she was the one left behind. She is the newest member, had never met Spencer, and a massive sucker.

Just as they walked out JJ mentioned that he had an eidetic memory, so everything had to be put back perfectly or he’d notice. The last thing she wanted was her new partner, the sought after and beloved Doctor Reid, to hate her.

Quietly grumbling to herself as she dusted and set back the third Doctor Who figurine, very nearly done.

But she heard voices from beyond the bullpen and swore. Doing a final sweep with the microfiber cloth and then chucking it behind her onto her desk. Reaching out to spin a pen back into place and stepping back to stand beside her own desk, wondering if she looked as insane as she currently felt.

Thankfully it seemed like they’d had a good drive in, after all, he’s only coming in to get reinstated properly and then he has to take thirty days off. Emily’s rules to make sure that he gets to stay for good.

Nervously, she pulled on a bright smile, lacing her hands together painfully to stop herself from reaching for a handshake. Germaphobe, she reminded herself, don’t offer your fucking hand.

Spencer, as he walked over, must’ve either sensed the pure waves of anxiety crashing off of her, or just profiled his way to the conclusion that she was losing her mind, because he put on a soft and welcoming smile.

Right in character for the man Garcia had painted him out to be.

Once she realised he was waiting, so damn patiently for her to start talking, she blinked softly and seemed to restart with a friendly smile.

“Hi! I uhm.. I was your replacement while you were.. Gone. But they-- Emily, liked me and asked me to stay on as your new partner. I hope that’s alright, I’m still kind of new here.”

Oh thank God he seems like an absolute sweetheart right now, because she honestly couldn’t have been able to cope otherwise. She’s not good with confrontation or high emotions.

“That’s completely fine, as long as you don’t mind an ex-convict.”

This man, immediately, had a giggle bubbling up in her throat. A giggle. She’s a fucking grown woman.

So she stamps it down, to maintain her own image and save face in front of this downright gorgeous man.

“Of course not! I’ve read your work thousands of times, and everyone here has told me so much about you. A little jail time isn’t going to scare me off.”

Soft banter, she can do that, that’s something normal and socially inclined people do. Even with very attractive people that kind of look at them as if they clearly know how they turn people’s brains to mush. Like he’s doing right now.

Penelope and JJ had shown her so many photos of Spencer so that she’d know exactly who she’d be covering for - and then working with. And honestly, she’d been absolutely destroyed by him in sweater vests and looking like he doesn’t know how to use his own limbs. They’d described him as a ‘human bambi’, but clearly they still had rose tinted glasses on.

Because somewhere in the last decade they seemed to have missed the way their little sweater-vest-wearing boy completely grew into a man, and decided to use his Godhood to pick on his new partner.

When she finally stopped thinking about all the ways she was going to murder Garcia for not preparing her for this, she caught movement on his face. His eyebrow raising and the corner of his lips seemingly unable to decide whether or not he wants to smile.

“Wh- What? Sorry, I didn’t.. I didn’t catch that.”

He smiled, clearly fully aware of himself and how he’s destroying her ability to think, and she nervously returned it, wondering how hard she’d have to jump for the floor to crack open and let her drop.

“Your name, angel.”

Angel?! Oh, she’s fucked.

“N-Name? My name? Right, sorry. I’m Maeve Donnelly, but no one really-”

He visibly jolts, small but she’s hyper-aware of his every move right now, and that one certainly didn’t look positive. His eyes finally moved from her face to look up at Emily’s office, and she had to be careful to remind herself to breathe.

When he looks back, all signs of willing friendliness have gone, and suddenly she’s being scowled at, causing a lump to rise in her throat.

Confrontation is a bitch, especially when she doesn’t know what she’s done.

“Your name is Maeve Donnelly? Is this a joke?”

“I- no?” She was the one to flinch this time, by the sound of his voice and just how harshly it met her ribs clack against her lungs. “It’s- It’s my name, what’s wrong with my name?”

Tossing his bag onto his desk, he shoved past her to sit down, and she’s trying to piece together what had happened to make him react like this, completely unprompted. All she did was say her name, he’s the one that asked her to.

Still scowling at her as he starts packing away case files to work on at home, clearly not wanting to be around her anymore.

“What isn’t wrong with your name?! Honestly, if this is your idea of a joke, I don’t think we’ll be together for very long.”

Storming past her again, he starts the walk up to the chief’s office, and she’s slowly coming to terms with the fact that she might not actually have a job after today. Especially when he turned back one last time.

“And I know you touched my fucking desk, my stuff has been moved. Don’t fucking do that again.”

Just like that, as he stormed into Emily’s office and she stayed feeling small and entirely unwelcome by her new partner, she reminisced on the brief moment that she found him attractive and how she’ll never get to feel like that again. Considering he’s a massive arse who just judged her entirely by her name and refused to elaborate.

Damn, at the very least, she won’t have to deal with him for long if he gets his wish of getting her kicked off the BAU, maybe then she can finally go back to cyber crimes.

Want more?! Good!

[lazypanartist]

@ratkingsewers I know you just mentioned this, but it's giving me brain rot rn. Just surface level stuff, because it's 11 pm and my face still hurts.

If y'all have more Sonic Movieverse reqs PLEASE let me know.

Robotnik + Stone as Team Sonic's Weird Uncles

As soon as the kids pop up, Stone's on edge

Ofc he was poking in the Project Shadow ruins end of movie 2, but it's not like he was asking his boss's nemeses for anything!

Is more smug than anything when he finds out they're seeking Robotnik

Pointedly refuses to give Knuckles a handshake. He would like to retain those bones

Doesn't like Sonic on principle, and Tails is kinda.. there, in his eyes.

Once they all make it to the Crab™, though, it's over

These kids imprint like ducklings when left to their own Sonic's devices

They see Robotnik, in all his "survived a massive fall" glory, get a few quips in, and then just. Wait.

Impatiently, because they're Wachowskis, but they wait.

Sure, they're asking how long it'll take when Stone and Robotnik are working on fixing the evil mastermind up a bit, kicking their feet and poking in things they shouldn't, but they're waiting for what they came for

As soon as they're back, the kids are asking questions.

Things like "why did you try and end the world" or "where did Mister Stone's shirt end up?"

Unimportant to the uncles.

For now.

More general hcs:

Stone is the responsible uncle, believe it or not

More afraid of Maddie's wrath than Robotnik

Robotnik, when he can be assed to stand the kids, is the fun uncle

Because he fears very few things, and is willing to pull "hey I bet you can't do X" and sit back with his margarita, watching them try

I can imagine the suckers with Wade at a family BBQ, all quietly pretending that the Evil Uncles didn't tie him up in movie one

Silently glaring past the kids, who are all asking questions

Idk man, I'd how good these are. Send ideas reqs whatever please, I need stuff to do.

And or trying to drag them into activities

I imagine all three have a favorite uncle

Knuckles and Wade because ofc

Tails and Robotnik because super genius

And Sonic and Stone because Mr Stone is the only man, besides Tom, who's patient enough for all of Sonic's infinite energy

[askoverlordvox]

VoxTek™ Employment Contract

I, @helluvahotelfan , invoke the infernal powers of Hell to complete the following contract between myself and the Overlord, Vox. Hereafter, "the employee" will refer to Jenn, "the employer" will refer to VoxTek™, "the Overlord" will refer to Vox, and "the contract" will refer to this agreement, signed and sealed by a handshake.

Payment: to complete this contract, the employee signs over possession of their soul to the Overlord. For as long as the soul remains in the Overlord's possession, the terms and conditions of this contract are considered valid. Additionally, the Overlord cannot kill or willfully maim or harm the employee while this contract is in effect.

Terms: The employer will provide housing(1), a competitive(2) salary, the latest(3) model of Hellphone, insurance (4), two weeks of paid training, 30 vacation days per year (5), 30 days of sick leave per year (6), a free upgrade to replace or enhance a body part(7), a 200 year(8) retirement plan, and 24/7 protection from reasonable(9) threats. The employee will fulfill the job description provided below to the best of their ability.

Conditions: This contract remains in effect provided both the employee and the Overlord wish to continue adhering to the terms. At any time, either party may request breaking the contract. The request must be accepted by the Overlord. The Overlord reserves the right to change the job assigned to the employee in the event of subpar performance.

Job Title: Junior Data Collector

Department: Research & Development

Job Scope: Junior Data Collectors follow instructions from Senior Data Collectors and report to Project Leads all data obtained throughout marketing, testing, and further analysis. Data Collectors observe tests, trends, and other indicated measurements at the direction of Project Leads and record data as instructed by Project Leads. Data Collectors are expected to report accurate figures. Data Collectors may, on occasion, be asked to participate directly in Projects but never to the extent Hazard Pay would be required. Any injuries incurred as a result of Data Collection are to be reported immediately to the Project Lead.

Hours: Mandated work hours are 1000-1600, Monday-Thursday unless Project Leads get approved for a different work cycle.

(1) Housing starts at one bedroom, one bathroom, kitchen and washer/dryer included 550 square foot apartment. Housing can be upgraded through promotion or by registering dependents with Human Resources. (2) Competitive rates based on job title and relative cost-of-living analysis for Pride ring standards. Salary will always be 400% of current housing cost. (3) Latest model refers to latest model to pass all safety checks and either is commercially available or in phase 4 of production. (4) Insurance covers health, vision, and dental plans, as well as maternity/paternity leave, Family Medical Leave Allocation, and associated costs. (5) Unused vacation days roll over but will not exceed 75 days. Vacation days accrued past 75 days will either be paid out to the employee in a lump sum, signed over to another employee, or forfeit. Decision must be made within 1 month of employment anniversary date. (6) Unused sick leave rolls over but will not exceed 60 days. Illness or injury requiring more than 60 days to recover but at no fault of the employer will be deducted from vacation days. Illness or injury incurred during the execution of job duties will not be charged to the employee. (7) Available upgrades subject to change depending on demand. Specific upgrade offered: replacement of one eye with a VokTek™ High Definition digital recorder. Any data or information recorded by an upgrade becomes property of the employer with employee consent. (8) 200 year retirement plan based on projected life expectancy increase following the cessation of Exterminations. In the event Exterminations resume, this requirement will be lowered to 50 years. (9) Reasonable threats are those not provoked by the employee, provided the employee remains within designated areas when directed by senior personnel. Ex: leaving the approved VoxTek™ Extermination Bunker during an Extermination or insulting an Overlord/Sin/Ars Goetia are examples where the employer is no longer liable for the employee's protection.

Signed and confirmed via handshake with the Overlord,

Jenn

It took me a moment to find it, I apologize; you wouldn't believe how many copies I have in my office. Of course I have a digitized copy but Hell runs on old school methodologies, so having a hard copy is still required.

Now, @zayne1, you can make your determinations.

[jevilowo]

ODDLY SPECIFIC ENGIE HEADCANON

As a wee egg-yet-to-crack child, Engie was hideously socially inept. This comes with autism being a Conagher Family Heirloom™ (someone said that in a reblog once and it has lived in my mind since).

Alas, being socially inept and a "girl" in early 1930s small-town Texas was Not It, and so every evening for a year Engie's mother sat down with him for a couple hours to go through Social Ettequite, even though he would really rather have spent the time tinkering in Fred's workshop.

This had the opposite effect as intended. To this day, Engie is the image of a Polite Southern Man to a genuinely creepy extent. Every polite smile of his is the smile of a barely restrained madman, and his eyes... you've probably seen the "meet the engineer without goggles" video. Every handshake and kind word comes across as carefully calculated (because they are) and almost uncanny valley.

And of course theres the fact that no amount of social conditioning can disguise the fact he's deranged, which is the other Conagher Family Heirloom™ .

[goshilovemesomemonsters]

… I hear you.. AND BOY DOES THAT GIVE ME IDEAS!! 🤩

An image of how Reader heals the Pilgrim gang~

✨Wukong✨

Gentle as can be~ takes her time to slowly heal every possible (or imagined) scratch and bruise, all with a loving hand~ …. And while teasing the absolute shit outa him… 😜

🤝🏻 Sandy 🤝🏻

Her bestie? Her BFF?? The go to method for healing the big blue good-boy™️ is of course their secret best-friends handshake~ 😎

😐 Pigsy 😐

Every time this guy tries to go in for a hug.. and every time he gets slapped in the face.. healing through violence… somewhat contradictory? Perhaps, but it works~

🙏🏻 Tang 🙏🏻

… She pinches his nose in a firm grip, and start lecturing him.. “repeat after me, I will NOT listen to Pigsy and go near the obviously suspicious Bogota in the distance, especially when everyone else tells me not to!” basically a Mom moment~

🐴 Ao Lie 🐴

Gentle head pats.. after his own Father sentenced him to death, the poor kid deserves some form of genuine affection.. another Mom moment~

YOU. You get it.

And if you don’t mind me adding on to this~ because this in turn gave me more ideas lmao

Honestly Wukong doesn’t even go to you for healing to begin with. He’s the Monkey King??? Immortalx6???? He doesn’t need your healing he can just heal himself 🤨. Yes it does hurt him to have to regrow or repair himself, I imagine it’s less that he heals himself and more just…speeds up the process of the injuries healing themselves meaning he gets a fuckton of pain all at once, but given he is both immortal and impatient, he doesn’t really think much of the pain…or he tries to tell himself that anyway.

But after one of the battles where he’s forced to go to Guanyin for help he finds himself angrily sulking because he doesn’t like having to ask for help. But then you come over and just…place a friendly hand on his shoulder and heal him. He is prepared for it to hurt like how he heals himself but it doesn’t?? In fact it feels nice??? What the Fuck™. He could have been getting THIS the whole time??

Every battle after that he is first in line to get healed (listen it’s just quicker if you heal him ok don’t look too deep into it-) even going so far as to push Pigsy out of the way at points. Don’t come between the monkey and his (excuse to get your hands on him) heals. See he thought he knew what he was getting into. A quick heal and (your touch…) he’s back to full health. He was wrong because reader is wise to his schemes and makes it their personal mission to fluster the shit out of him.

“Why is this taking so long??”

“Because you keep fidgeting”

“Well you need to hurry up!!”

“I’m adding on a minute of heal time for every time you rush me.”

“What?? No just finish up already!”

“Three minutes.”

“Stop going so slow!!”

“Four! Do I hear five?? Goodness your gonna give me the wrong idea if you keep this up. It’s like you want my hands on you~”

All the while you’re slooowly dragging your hands across him and he’s doing everything in his power to not think about how good it feels, how nice it feels to have your gentle and delicate touches on him and looking anywhere other than at you. Jokes on him though he may not blush super easily but his ears are always the first to show it.

Sun Wukong was NOT prepared for this. He’s used to admiration from his subjects, fear from his enemies, respect from those he’s fought. But this??? This is new. He’s not used to this. Even back on flower fruit mountain he was never subjected to this kind of attention. He doesn’t…hate it per-say, but he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He might try to cross his arms, make himself look intimidating he doesn’t know-

“Nah-ah, uncross those arms mister I need access to your chest.”

He is suffering. Your going to kill him he’s sure of it. This is how he dies. Just by being subjected to your ministrations. Yes he knows he could leave at anytime but he’s not going to.

It doesn’t really occur to him that you’re taking your time on purpose at first because it’s not exactly like he was paying attention the first time you healed him and he accepts your explanation of it being more precise when you touch him like that readily enough. To his credit he does eventually catch on to what your doing by being purposefully slow and handsy. But like by that point he’s down bad and doubles down.

He flips the script BIIIG time when he goes from “feelings are dumb” to courting/relationship status though. If he was a menace before now he is INSUFFERABLE.

“You missed a spot”

“Oh? Where?”

“Move your hands lower”

“WUKONG.”

“I am injured! Don’t you want to see me get better? 🥺”

Or otherwise now he is intentionally doing whatever he can to increase how long it takes

“Hey you still intend to go slower if I rush you right?”

“Probably? Why do you ask-“

“WOW you are going so slow you need to hurry up and finish already because this is taking forever, we’ve been here like all day seriously how much longer is this going to take??”

“…”

“How long does that buy me?”

“…”

*Insta-Heals him*

D:<

As for the others,

Sandy/Sha Wujing is an absolute sweetheart, always patiently waiting for his turn to be healed or for you to finish. Always asks for heals with a please and thanks you every time. Secret handshake is absolutely how he gets healed. 10/10 would heal again. Best patient ever.

Tang is….fine most times. He’s real sorry for making you go through the trouble though. Really sorry. Has he told you how sorry he is? Because he is. He’s really really sorry. Swears he won’t do it again. A simple shoulder pat is all he really needs as he feels reaaaaally sorry and just feels the worst about this. No but fr he feels SO GUILTY. Healing him is part actually healing him and part feelings jam because he probs needs to be reassured that what happened wasn’t his fault.

Oof but when it’s because of Pigsy starting shit again and pulls him into danger? That’s when the pinching starts. How many times have you and Wukong told him not to listen to Pigsy?? So many times?? AND YET??? …he’s still really sorry tho

Ao Lie doesn’t really need healing all that often due to being a horse most of the time but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t occasionally sidle up to you and push his head under your hand to ask for it. Carrying the monk all that time has gotta be tiring, even if he is a dragon. Especially since he isn’t even doing it in his natural form! So that little boost of energy you give him really helps him out. Also a sweetheart 10/10 (why can’t Pigsy be like you and Sandy FR)

Pigsy tho…bless Reader’s heart you TRIED to actually properly heal him once. But unfortunately with Pigsy being Pigsy that went about as well as expected. As soon as he found out you heal through touch it was all over. “Oh my fair friend I am dying!! Only your sweet kiss can heal me. 😚” which did result in the slap heal. To his…tiny tiny bit of credit he does stop the antics after the first few times. Not because he realized that it won’t happen, but because Wukong won’t let him. Literally, he tries to be his fail-suave self during a time when Wukong is standing right behind you and one very intense glare coupled with a hand going to his ear to pull out his cudgel is all it takes to get him to stop….mostly. Still tries it when Wukong isn’t around though. Always results in a slap.

[pralinesims]

// character associations

Tagged by @sertrallne @living-undead @salemsimss, thanks so much! <3

Gonna do this for... Emilio!

⊱ EMOTIONS/FEELINGS (Over)confidence, paranoia, fear, desperation, depression, guilt, mourning, head-over-heels in love, ambition, appreciation, enthusiasm, gratitude, courage

⊱ COLOURS Green (all shades), beige, bright red, dark fuchsia, muted blues

⊱ SCENTS Cedar, expensive aftershave, MFK Grand Soir perfume, disinfection, mint toothpaste, freshly mown grass, crisp summer morning air, after workout sweat, air freshener, eucalyptus

⊱ OBJECTS Sports cars, newspapers, hand cream tubes, massive chronographs, credit cards, signature cooking apron, family heirlooms, leather case journals, steak knives, heavy decanters, miniature pirate ships, large mirrors, toothpicks

⊱ BODY LANGUAGE Arms on hips, threatening stares, straight and proper posture, wide grin, tense shoulders, alcohol induced laughter, winking, very firm handshakes, intense eye contact, hands behind head

⊱ AESTHETICS Anything luxurious, casual athletic elegance, old money, sad beige core™, marble surfaces on things where it doesn't even make sense, candle-lit dinner parties, constant tidiness (never cluttered)

Tagging: everyone who is in mood to also do this~ feel free to do so and say that I've tagged you!

[rukunas]

college!au drabble which is totally not a self-imagine. tw scummy/toxic eren

The library shouldn’t be this busy on a Saturday— you’d know. You’re always here around this time every week, trapped in the enclave of shelves and whiteboards and books, a huge stack of them propped next to your laptop. Indigo ink stains more than just your notebook, your palm a mosaic of blue hues. The scent is comforting, though, a stagnant presence as you flick through your anatomy textbook. Your brows narrow at the haphazardly-scribbled diagram of the hormone pathways— where the fuck is testosterone produced?

“Bro, she was all fuckin’ over you last night. Basically had you pinned up against the wall.” Laughs bark down the table you’re seated at. Despite the thick headphones you have on, you hear the voices loud and clear.

Testosterone is produced there. The collective fumes of luxury cologne scream Daddy’s Money™ and disrupt your bubble of productivity. Your forehead pinches again, this time in annoyance, knowing just what group of boys decided to have their own ‘study sesh’ on a Saturday afternoon, definitely hungover and waiting it out before heading to the game.

“D’ya think she still would have been all over me if she knew I had her best friend bent over the night before?” Another roar of laughter, this time accompanied with table banging and echoes of “No way, dude!”

It’s so incredibly clichéd, you can’t help but roll your eyes. There is no way men actually speak like that, as if these head-empty imbeciles could get a chance with a girl if they tried.

“No way, dude!” You huff lowly under your breath, amused by your precision at the tone. It was honestly pretty good, you have to pat yourself on the back for that one—

“What was that?”

A glance upwards forces you to meet a pair of forest green eyes, sharp and narrowed. The smirk settling right below makes you unsettled. Annoyed.

You play it cool anyway, tugging off your headphones and shrugging. “Didn’t say anything.”

“Didn’t seem like it.” He raises a brow. His friends snicker behind him, staring you down, waiting to see how the leader of the pack was going to tear you down, limb by limb.

You aren’t the biggest fan of Eren Yeager.

He’s actually, surprisingly, a fan favorite on campus. Somehow he’s always busy handshaking a guy or has a group of girls squealing and running up to him, bragging about how they’re his best friend— ugh. And he gets the grades to make the Dean’s List, becoming all chummy with the professors and even landing some hotshot internship. But you’re the only one who sees through his shit, catches him at times like this where he isn’t God’s gift to Earth and instead is a typical college frat boy— no, scratch that, definitely worse.

You take the high road and shrug once more, pulling your headphones back over your head. Silently, you pack your things, trying your best to ignore the heavy gaze on your silhouette of at least a pair of eyes watching you leave.

“You have got to fuck her.” Jean sighs. “Or I might. Isn’t she why we’re here anyway?”

Eren isn’t sure if his skin is heating up because of the call out or because of his possessiveness over you, despite the fact that he’s nothing to you. The way you look at him proves it, like he’s a wad of bubblegum sticking to the bottom of your shoe, like he’s the one that’s a nobody.

He knows your friends. Hangs out with them, fucks them occasionally. But not because he likes them— he just likes to keep tabs on you. Why? He doesn’t fucking know why. God, he wish he knew why. He does stupid shit like this, coming to the library on a fucking Saturday like a goddamn dork just because he knows you like how quiet it gets on the weekends. He is so infatuated with someone who won’t even look his way, someone who keeps a nose buried in school work and doesn’t even bat a lash at his looks, his jokes, anything?!?

And fine, maybe he’s also feeling a bit warm because of you.

World’s Biggest Blue Baller, yep, it’s you.

Nah. He’ll get you one of these days. Despite whatever game the two of you are playing, he will win. He knows it, feeling the certainty thrum in his blood. It’s why he’s the leader of his friends, the pack of the herd, the man of the men. Because when Eren Yeager has his mind set to what he wants, he’ll get it.

Besides, those quiet smart girls are always the most fun to break.

[theghostbunnie]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TALK ABOUT NIKKI AND NERRIS IN THE NEW EP I LOVE YOUR OPINIONS ON EVERYTHING

(bcs they're scarily similar to mine)

TYSM????❤️♥️💕💝 and I always have so many opinions I'm the fuckin yapinator

I was literally talking just the other day about how Nikki has a detachment from feminity as she's literally been reprimanded for doing it wrong before even her two best friends doing an 'eh' with an iffy handshake when she even REFERS to herself as a girl and I do strongly believe it's bc she's at that age where she's learned feminity does equal something shameful or weak, or in her case maybe even thinks it makes you mean and shallow. While SIMULTANEOUSLY still being a young feminist and trying to not have that subconsciously!!! Creates a sort of "it's for others not for me" mentality accidentally bc she's supposed to be Nikki™ and thinks she'll be less respectable, or less herself if she's feminine.

But she's actually been this way in the show before she's willingly wore pink on two occasions willingly, as casted as Juliet, and wearing Indian traditional clothing. (I'd argue even further on the second one as it wasn't given to her for play but she made it!! And it was pretty!!) In the episode Neil and her get stuck in the flowerscouts he just WAKES UP with makeup and a seaweed wig on and I'm firm that like she did that and knows how to lmao. (Further proved by her literally doing her own makeup in this episode)

But back on topic yeah when she was enjoying herself until she realized ofc her worries weren't upfront exactly "oh no I look girly!" It was oh no I look like a FLOWERSCOUT, a "type" of feminity she's tried to push away from bc she associates it with a specific type of woman, and worries who she is as a person if she likes this.

I hope the fandom takes this episode as Nikki being a more rounded character instead of like, just erasing her masculine side or something :/

Bc most importantly; Nikki's expression of feminity in this episode *wasn't performative* she was doing it by herself for how it felt

ONTO NERRIS

I love their character ok like everyone in camp campbell is an asshole in their own way and their own degree, and I know early fandom liked to demonize the hell out of Nerris but I actually love how their character flaws compared to the other campers way more just scream "child" to me. They do shit and I go "yeah this is definitely a character acting immature with not a full grasp of their actions" and it's cute in a way to me idk!!! Like girl that's someone's DIARY WHY DID YOU POUR YOURSELF SOME JUICE AND KICK YOUR FEET AND GIGGLE READING IT YOUR SO SILLY ! Nerris often prioritizes themself in selfish ways but also in very childlike ways so yeah reading someone's diary because they connect with them and gain a little crush on them through that is adorable, esp jumping straight to "is this LOVE?"

Nerris liking girls- also something!!! Hinted towards in past episodes!! ((Nikki too some people call It "just admiration" but she literally has blushed at Ered and called her "my baby")) Nerris' scene where they're profusely sweating asking Ered to hang out with them i want to say could be a sign she has a crush on her too, but honestly? I'd be more inclined to believe the "it's just admiration" argument more here, I could see it going either way.

NERRIS WITH NIKKI THOUGH, IN NIKKI'S LAST DAY ON EARTH, Does that god modding type play little kids do where they narrate what they want to happen and get huffy when the other kids don't play along, which again back to my previous point of Nerris honestly being a small time offender compared to most the cast and also adorable.

But specifically she was trying to lowk boss Nikki into running into her arms and to me that's always been🫵🤨🏳️‍🌈⁉️

So I find it really funny how Ered, a character most the fandom hasn't really paid attention to or been a favorite or anything, always gets HC'd as a lesbian (often just for the jokes, or because her parents are gay, or because she's colored hair pronouns and skateboard/hj)

Absolutely no hate to the HC itself I'm sure there's someone who loves her character alot who has it but sometimes you can kind of tell when most are just slapping labels on characters they don't care about, and Ered out of the three of them is the ONLY one who hasn't shown cannonically interest in girls??? 😭 Like most of the cast, hasn't in anyone or any gender!! Nerris and Nikki have been exceptions in that, and now it's even official for Nerris!

Nerris and Nikki have cannonically only shown interest in girls. Unless some specific brief scene is slipping my mind atm/gen

ALSO GONNA TALK A LIL MORE ABOUT ERED BC I LOVE HER also need to specify the difference between a hc and a theory RN as I know it's very likely not cannon but the fact Ered doesn't know a lot of "being a woman" or periods (like an alarming amount missing for someone 14 ALSO CAN I GLOAT A LITTLE BIT ABOUT BEING RIGHT SHE WAS 13 IN S1-S4 !!??? OTHER PEOPLE WOULD SAY LIKE UP TO LIKE 17 SOMETIMES) (also context it's bc she says "other freshmen" and freshmen are 14-15.)

You could argue she simply is a late bloomer but girl you yelled at the word uterus like you simply can't understand 🏳️‍⚧️🫵🤨⁉️⁉️ and "what happens at NIGHT TIME??" like the whole conversation gave me the vibe she only knew things on a surface level and wanted to know more simply to be included!! I also wanna point out Ered never says anything that could confirm or deny she even gets one, just that Gwen thought she did, which could've been assumption or simply the wording she chose to phrase.

[sadquickchristmassnowman]

hey so i’m new to the community fandom and i really love trobed. i was wondering what was your trobed centric episode masterlist like? or if it’s possible, is there a way to send me the post? sorry i’m new to tumblr so i’m still learning how this app works. if you see this, thanks :)

hi, welcome! I've found that community tumblr is probably my favorite fandom space I've ever been involved in, and I hope you've had a good experience so far. I totally get the New App Learning Curve thing, I'm historically very shit at learning how to use new apps, even though I'm "young" (20), but I eventually got it and you will too, Trust 👍👍👍

anyway, Yes one of the first things I did on here after joining was make a trobed-centric episode masterlist for someone who was asking lmfao. since it was one of the First things I did there's some formatting and other things I'd do differently now, and I've actually been looking for an excuse to go ahead and get that done, so. here we go.

the trobed-centric episode masterlist (revamped)

1x05: advanced criminal law

plot B

abed takes the "friends mess with each other" rule too far; he creates a whole fake language and spends a lot of money on trying to convince troy that he is an alien

"from now on, abed, friends don't mess with each other"

(this is the first time they do their signature handshake)

1/5 gayness, pretty platonic

1x10: environmental science

plot B

it's the "somewhere out there" episode what more do I need to say

3/5 gayness, something's happening fs

1x11: the politics of human sexuality

plot C

abed keeps beating troy in athletic competitions, making troy feel threatened. he eventually admits that abed is the better athlete and they make up

2/5 gayness, pretty platonic but it has its moments

1x22: the art of discourse

plot C

troy and abed work to complete abed's list of quintessential freshman year of college experiences list

2/5 gayness, they repeatedly put completing the list above looking cool in front of women

1x25: pascal's triangle revisited

plot C

troy is moving out of his dad's house and wants to move in with abed, but abed says no because he's afraid being that close and spending that much time together will result in constant annoyance, and will destroy their friendship

troy realizes that "too much of a good thing can be bad" and instead agrees to move in with pierce

1/5 gayness

2x02: accounting for lawyers

part of plot A

jeff gets sucked back into his old life as he reconnects with alan, a coworker from his old law firm. troy, abed, and annie try to gather proof that jeff's friend is the one who got him fired in the first place

more trobedison centric, and is actually the first episode where the three of them are established as a Trio™

"all I heard was suck" "YOU CHLOROFORMED THE JANITOR" "I usually have one foot out of reality and even I'm freaking out right now"

1/5 gayness, pretty platonic. they're the sillies ever I love trobedison

2x06: epidemiology

part of plot A

it's the zombie episode, come ON

trobed have coordinating costumes but troy bails during the party because he doesn't want to look lame and nerdy in front of women, which hurts abed's feelings

abed sacrifices himself to save troy once they are the last two standing during the "rabies pathogen" breakout

"I love you" "I know" (oh my GODDD sedate me)

5/5 gayness. you get it.

2x09: conspiracy theories and interior design

plot B

the original blanket fort 💯💯💯

2/5 gayness, just guys bein silly (and in love???)

2x15: early 21st century romanticism

plot B

troy and abed fall for the same girl and decide to take her to the valentine's dance together, after which she can decide which one of them she wants to date

she picks troy, but troy gets upset that she didn't pick abed (because why wouldn't she pick abed, he's so cool) and breaks it off almost immediately

I"happy valentine's day" "it is now"

5/5 gayness jesus christ this one is INSANE

2x18: custody law and eastern european diplomacy

plot B

britta likes troy and abed's new friend, lukka, who she finds out is a literal war criminal. she keeps this information from troy and abed because she doesn't want to ruin their friendship with him, but they find out eventually

2/5 gayness they're attached at the hip in this one

2x19: critical film studies

random moments

this episode is more focused on jeff and abed, but there's a lot of classic Troy Gets Jealous™ moments so I decided to include it. plus the end tag is them randomly having dinner together at the fancy restaurant (a date 😔)

basically troy is afraid that jeff is a cooler friend to abed than him

3/5 gayness even though they barely interact, troy is so silly

2x20: competitive wine tasting

part of plot B

I almost didn't include this one, and it's not even on my original list, but whatever

troy pretends to be traumatized, originally to seem less shallow in his acting class, but he keeps it going in order to attract britta. he tells abed about it and abed Does Not Like That At All

"troy. nothing good can come of this"

I wouldn't call abed being jealous a Rare Occurrence but he generally conceals it way better than troy does

2/5 gayness, could be interpreted as abed just worried about relationships forming under false pretense, but to Me he's jealous

2x22: applied anthropology and culinary arts

plot C

pierce buys the rights to troy and abed's handshake (a la Indecent Proposal) which "corrupts" it

"pierce tainted our special handshake with his blood money and now we can't get the magic baaaack :((((("

eventually they do indeed get the magic back

3/5 gayness idk there's something about the way they interact in this one that is inexplicably gay to me lmao

3x01: biology 101

plot C plus random moments

"speaking of figuring things out, me and abed have an announcement" "..." "troy and I are living together :D"

cougartown gets moved to midseason, then cougarton abbey ends after 6 episodes, abed's routine keeps getting thrown off, and troy is just extremely supportive and protective throughout

4/5 gayness troy loves him a lot!!!!!!

3x03: remedial chaos theory

random moments

(I know this ep is listed as 3x04 on streaming services but in canon it takes place here and on the dvds it's listed as 3x03. there's a joke about it in the episode too if you didn't know. anyway)

"troy and abed's new apartment!!!" "bienvenido a la casa chez trobed!" "wanna stay up all night talking in our bunk beds?"

all their pictures on the wall and their matching suits lol

the end tag "evil troy and evil abed" & troy's soft "what's wrong :("

3/5 gayness they're lowkey married your honor

3x05: horror fiction in seven spooky steps

random moments

troy's whole story he tells where they Literally become attached at the hip

"my partner"

troy dancing while abed's humming daybreak

2/5 gayness

3x06: advanced gay

plot B

troy deciding whether he wants to do plumbing or air conditioning and deciding all he really wants to do is watch tv with abed

gay symbolism? gay symbolism? gay symbolism?

4/5 gayness mostly for the conversation at the hawthorne wipes gathering. I could write an essay on just that

3x07: studies in modern movement

plot A

annie moves in with troy and abed. very trobedison centric

"kiss me woodsman troy!"

3/5 gayness once again casually in love they're soulmates your honor

3x09: foosball and nocturnal vigilantism

plot B

annie breaks abed's $200 special edition dark knight dvd set on accident, trobedison shenanigans ensue yippee!!!

"awww is that the grappling hook I got you for christmas???"

3/5 gayness for the same reasons as before

3x10: regional holiday music

part of plot A

literally putting this on here just because of the christmas infiltration rap (and baby boomer santa)

3/5 gayness it's glee club what can you do

3x11: contemporary impressionists

plot A

(once again, I know this episode is listed as 3x12 on streaming services, but in canon it's supposed to chronologically be here, and is listed as 3x11 on the dvds)

the study group helps abed pay off his debts to a celebrity impersonator website by playing characters at a bar mitzvah (after troy scolds them for trying to ground abed in reality)

they have an argument at the end ugh

3/5 gayness troy loves abed a lot and abed doesn't realize that he's doing something wrong

3x12: urban matrimony and the sandwich arts

plot C

(see the above disclaimer about episode order)

troy and abed decide to be normal for shirley's wedding rehearsal

troy and abed being normal 🤝

4/5 gayness they blow off a girl to be weird again

3x13: digital exploration of interior design

plot C

blanket fort: redux (oh god)

vice dean laybourne escalates what started as a minor disagreement in order to drive a wedge between troy and abed. it works

5/5 gayness, if a sitcom doesn't have the two codependent fanonical gays go through an unnecessarily dramatic "break up" then I don’t want it

3x14: pillows and blankets

plot A

🎶troy and abed are in conflict🎶 *cries*

pillow fort vs. blanket fort

they eventually make up but not before they hurt each others' feelings a Lot

5/5 gayness the dramatics jesus christ

3x16: virtual systems analysis

random moments

so this episode is more focused on abed and annie, and troy and abed actually don't Technically interact with each other very much at all, but. you know

abed kinda freaks out when troy and britta go on a date because it "messes with the fabric of the group" (🤨 I know what you are)

troy calls annie to "check on abed" boy you are on a date with a woman

4/5 gayness just from subtext you get it

3x17: basic lupine urology

random moments

troy and abed play detective as they try to figure out who sabotaged the group's biology project

"we can't both do the zinger"

4/5 gayness no explanation

3x19: curriculum unavailable

random moments

the study group is expelled from greendale and abed gets arrested for spying on campus, so he's supposed to have a psychological evaluation

troy is just very protective of him in this episode, plus the flashback clip where he and Annie are comforting him as he's freaking out about daylight savings

"our adventures are VERY manly"

4/5 gayness

3x21: the first chang dynasty

random moments

oof baboof with you two! (all the plumber shenanigans are hilarious)

mostly putting this one on here for the goodbye scene at the end of the episode, though. god

"he said, 'I know you hate when people do this in movies.' sorry I got emotional"

3x22: introduction to finality

plot B

abed "goes crazy" without troy (who's off at a/c repair school)

when troy comes back he prioritizes abed over britta (who he supposedly has romantic feelings for)

"I miss abed so much" "you're afraid you'll go crazy without troy"

4/5 gayness one could say they're a little codependent

4x03: conventions of space and time

plot A

troy gets jealous of (read: goes "psycho girlfriend on") abed's new inspector spacetime superfan friend toby

britta, even as troy's literal girlfriend, calls abed troy's boyfriend and supports troy through the whole thing

"for the first time in my long history of being locked inside things, I knew someone would come" let me just put my head through my wall really quick

5/5 gayness even though troy has a whole gf. that's how gay this episode is

4x11: basic human anatomy

plot A

troy and abed pretend to switch bodies, like in freaky friday, in order to help troy process his feelings about his relationship with britta

5/5 gayness holy SHIT y'all. I could write thousands of words on this episode. it is so hard to justify troy's actions in this one without reading him as a closeted gay person not lying

5x03: basic intergluteal numismatics

random moments

including this one because of how abed comforts troy and pushes him around in a wheelchair for the entire episode

3/5 gayness it's the casual married-ness again smh

5x04: cooperative polygraphy

random moments

this is another one I didn't include on my original list but I decided fuck it

the bit uncovering the actual origin of their patented handshake is so funny "I can't even look at you right now" "then you should know I'm crying"

also just the. look on abed's face when troy agrees to go on the trip at the end. "cool. cool cool cool." "that's a lie" UGHHHHH

4/5 gayness again. so typical

5x05: geothermal escapism

plot A

do I need to say a word

ouch ouch ouch OUCH

5/5 gayness especially the deleted dialogue from the last scene (I've posted it before but lmk if you don't know what I'm talking about. disclaimer it makes me want to launch myself off the empire state building)

alright. there it is folks. I was going to make another subsection of other random iconic trobed moments and cite the episodes they're from but basically every single episode has at least one, so that list would be Way too long to qualify as a supplement to this one lmao. however! if you have a Trobed Moment™ stuck in your head (or any Moment for that matter) and you can't remember which episode it's from feel free to ask me, I'm confident that my internal community database will be able to Remind You. anyway. hope this was helpful. bye

[desire-mona]

before i go to bed DEAR ANYONE PLEASE DRAW TROY MISSING ABEDS HAND WHEN DOING THE TROBED HANDSHAKE™. they have to redo it